#so im reposting this like this and gonna delete the link post | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ofthedarkwoods · 1 year ago

Text

Questions

Why haven't you been posting your artwork recently?

I don't know what im doing. I don't know how to feel about anything anymore. There is so much getting to me right now and will probably be for a while like hell.. election day, project 2025, Palestine, work, shopping, harsher weather, numerous holiday arrivals, and so much more. My brain has been in a slump or like this great heavy fog. I feel like I'm just trying to survive now at this point. My creativity is dimming more day by day. There's barely any motivation in any of my fandoms. I reblog and admire, but it's a battle upon myself, it seems. I really hope something good happens. I want things to turn out alright soon for everyone, or at least someone who really needs it. 10/30

Platforms currently?...

Tumblr

Ofthedarkwoods :random shit all the time basically main blog

OfthedarkwoodsArtwork :Multi-fandom artwork and content

Ofthedarkwoods :filled w/ lots of references, art challenges, brushes, and more.

Ofthedarkwoodsfashion :different themed oufits perfect for ocs or going out.

Twitter

I deleted Twitter I cant be supporting the first lady now can I.. so yeah Fuck Twitter I'm gonna see if I can find something better. Let me know what works best.

----------------------------------

Is rebloginging your art okay?

Yes of course reblog away! The more reblogs the better!

Are you okay with me uploading your art to other platforms?

As long as you keep the watermark & give name credits i dont mind, maybe even a link so others can find me and enjoy my artwork as much as you do. If I see on any platforms where no name credit is given (watermark deleted.. ect.) I will get it taken down, so please be respectful. Also remember not every artist is like this so always find the creator and ask no matter how long it takes or how little research there is. Otherwise, I wouldn't bother posting any artwork.

Also for mature content like nsfw & gore I beg of you to put warnings. If you can't put warnings then dont bother rebloging or reposting at all. My content is not made for everyone and any mature +18 content without warning will be taken down forcefully. Anyone who sees my artwork being shared without warning let me know please.

Is dubbing your art ok?

Yes that is fine although I would still love to hear you ask so I can research your account, find out more about you, and maybe even like and support you as well. Just remember to give name credit please.

What mature content are we talking?

I wish to post more content like gore and consensual type themes in the future for other adults to enjoy. I have been experimenting with my artwork and seem to have found myself drawn to it quite literally. I have been observing pastel gore and just love it. All this type of art will have warnings and if anyone reposts this should have warnings as well or else.

OH! Please note I WILL NEVER POST ANY INCE$T, PEDØ, CØMSHIP/PRØSHIP TYPE STUFF SO FUCK OFF!

Why are you interested in drawing gore?

What can I say.. well, when I was younger, I had surgery and was always afraid of my scars opening up. It wasn't until recently I decided that my scars were something to not be afraid of and that it was all in my head, I started seeing the beauty in candy/neon/pastel/fruit gore. I saw it all in a different perspective and that other people must feel this was too. I want people who want to see it to feel the beauty and comfort like I do. I thought as though I'm reclaiming it for myself instead of being afraid but to embrace it.

I'm a minor under 18 how do you feel about that?

I'm gonna be forward and say i dont feel comfortable with minors on my page. I'm an adult I talk about mature topics and will be posting mature content (w/ warning of course). Yes I know I cant fully stop you from seeing my posts especially on other platforms but if you message me or ask any questions I will ignore/block you. The internet is a fucked up place and I truely wish more adults would take topics like this seriously. I really care about each and everyones safety so I will take measures into my own hands if i have to. I really dont want to be friends with childern so please respect my wishes and leave me alone.

Are you open to commissions?

Unfortunately no. I'm still figuring out some things at the moment but I will take suggestions for any lgbtqia+ icons to have as a pfp. I mean starting a business is tough and I want to take my time with my art on my own terms, I'm still a part time artist and on top of that I procrastinate a lot so deadlines are exhausting.

How do you feel about Spammimg?

If we're talking about DMs I honestly wouldn't really perfer a ton of text messages to reply to however you're welcome to hit the like button as much as you like. It shows your appreciation and I know what its like finding an artist with cool artwork to enjoy. Comments are fine but I dont think I can respond to every single one.

Are you trans?

Yes probably non-binary specifically with they/them pronouns because I feel like the "given" binary spectrum and "gender roles" don't really suit me. I mean most days I feel "feminine", some days I feel "masculine", and some days I wake up feeling neither, or sometimes I wake up feeling both. Gender is very confusing so for short I'm nonbinary.

Why did you quit Instagram?

Animation is one of the hardest things I've pushed myself to do. Instagram's platform wasn't necessarily fitting to my standards per say. My technology kept failing as well and made it difficult to keep a steady rhythm with posting. But also in other words I felt many users wouldn't accept my artwork as much as they'd accept my videos. I also felt that many Instagram users didn't see me as non-binary meaning many didn't use my pronouns correctly. I felt like all this together was enough to push me away. Tumblr felt more freeing than Instagram and so far its been more enjoyable, but none the less I made friends and will miss them dearly.

Will you do anymore Animation?

Yes i do animaton but wish to expand more on that later... right now it's just artwork and edits. I've thought about posting to YouTube but idk..

Why are you so political?

I think everyone is affected by politics all over the world. It's a part of our society, and I do have morals so of course I'll be evolved. Like already most of the world is against me for their own selfish insecurities and I realize that I have some privilege of my own and should stand up for others when they are faced with unjustifiable terms. I get that people need breaks and yes please take breaks and take care of you basic needs but without ever talking about any issues, wintnessing but keeping to yourself, or simply not teaching and discussing your feelings with others can lead to serious problems or issues that will never be fixed. There is always a time to bring up your concerns and make yourself feel heard but remember things like this take some time, communication on every side, and a good support group.

You are welcome to block, ignore, or mute me but I'll always keep posting important topics.

#questions

0 notes

cdelphiki · 5 years ago

Text

It was dumb.

No. Not dumb.

It was really, really, exceptionally stupid.

Being afraid of a little rain was probably the lamest thing a person could possibly be afraid of.

What was even scary about storms?….. Anymore?

Jason had a house now.

Sure, it wasn’t like, forever or nothing. But it was at least for now. And for now was long enough to protect him from the storm outside.

And yet, here he was. Hiding under his comforter, trying to ignore the cacophony of noises outside.

People who said rain was relaxing were high, Jason was fairly certain. High or really, really crazy. Because the harsh static of the constant downpour only made Jason more anxious. Even the gentle pitter-patter of a drizzle was the prelude to the deafening onslaught of far too much rain for the city’s sewers to handle, and Jason couldn’t handle any of it.

The crash of another bolt of lightning made Jason jump so hard, he nearly tumbled off his bed. His heart was hammering so hard, he was amazing no one could hear it.

But then again, the rain outside was so loud, there was no way anyone could hear anything but it.

And he was immensely grateful Bruce had skipped patrol. Because the last thing he wanted was for Bruce to come ‘check on him.’ Bruce might have thought he was sneaky whenever he poked his head in on Jason at 2 in the morning, but he wasn’t. And now Jason was happy, because the last thing he wanted was for Bruce to find him cowering under his covers, afraid of a storm.

A freaking storm.

It was insanely dumb. Jason knew why storms happened. He understood about cloud formation, positive and negative charges, and all that fun stuff. He’d read all about it in one of his school books.

That didn’t stop his heart from racing or his hands from shaking. And when another bolt of lighting hit, this time probably only 500 yards from the Manor, Jason leapt to his feet.

It was dumb. It was really, really dumb, but he could not be alone anymore.

He couldn’t.

He needed… he didn’t know what he needed. He needed to not be alone.

Before he could think better of it, Jason found himself standing in the hall, looking down at the doors ahead of him. There was Bruce’s room on one side. Door wide open, as he always left them to encourage them to wake him, or something. Jason just found it annoying, because it meant he couldn’t sneak past Bruce at night to go downstairs.

Perhaps that was Bruce’s plan.

On the left was Dick’s door. Shut, as always. And entirely unoccupied. Per the norm. Damian’s was next to it, and just barely cracked, so the dog could come in and out as he pleased.

The dog.

“Ace,” Jason whispered, trying to keep his voice quiet enough so not to wake Bruce.

He couldn’t deal with Bruce right now. He might ask questions.

And Jason did not want to talk about how the storms reminded him of being stuck outside in late fall, unable to find adequate shelter, freezing cold, soaked to the bone, and shivering while the rain kept coming. Didn’t want to think about how it took days to fully dry out after that, nor how the ground was wet for a week.

Or the case of pneumonia he’d developed, that landed him back in foster home for the third time. Stupid clinic being a rat.

Bruce would be super caring and understanding and he’d listen and hug Jason, probably. Then offer to stay up with him and watch movies, or drink hot cocoa. And Jason… kind of wanted that. But he couldn’t handle it. He wanted to cry just thinking about it, and Jason was so over crying. So freaking tired of doing it.

The dog, though. The dog wouldn’t ask him questions. He’d just lay with Jason and be there for him.

Ace was awesome like that.

But when Jason said, “Ace” again, this time a little louder, all he heard was the jingling of Ace’s tags. Deep inside Damian’s room.

From experience, Jason knew Damian was a heavy sleeper. Like, a really heavy sleeper. One time he fell asleep on the couch, and he and Bruce continued talking at a normal level for an hour, and Damian didn’t seem to notice one bit. Bruce was able to carry him up to bed afterward, all without Damian so much as stirring.

It was wild.

Would totally get him killed, one day, but probably okay for him right now. As long as he was safe in the Manor, that was. With the literal Batman watching over him.

Jason was kind of a little jealous of how deeply he could sleep. If only Jason could sleep through even the lightest footsteps passing his room at night.

Or storms.

“Ace,” Jason whispered again, nudging the door open just enough so he could stick his head in. Once his eyes adjusted to the darker room, he had to blink.

Because Ace wasn’t on the ground, where he normally spent the night, ‘guarding’ Damian.

No.

He was up in Damian’s bed, under the covers with him, tucked up against his side.

And Damian was there, wide awake, looking right back at Jason.

“Jason?” he said, far too loudly for Jason’s liking. Considering Bruce’s door was right there. Like, five feet away!

A crack of lightning flashed outside Damian’s window. And even with the half a second warning, Jason couldn’t suppress the flinch at the loud crash that followed. “Sorry,” he said, slipping into Damian’s room and shutting the door more, in hopes that Bruce wouldn’t hear them talking, “I was just… uh.”

The fuck was he doing? He couldn’t tell Damian he was looking for the stupid dog because he was scared, now could he? What would Damian say to that? He’d probably laugh at him.

Or start calling for Bruce to come fix it…

“Checking on Ace?” Damian asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Ace, in response, whined at Damian and pressed up against Damian’s side more, “Did you know he’s scared of storms?”

Ace was afraid of storms, too? Why would he be scared of them?

Well, he supposed the noises were very loud and Ace was a dog. Practically a baby. He didn’t understand what caused storms.

“Yeah,” Jason said, standing a little straighter and crossing his arms across his chest, “Yeah, I just wanted to make sure he was okay.”

It was perfectly reasonable for Ace to be afraid of them. That was a valid excuse. Poor Ace.

Jason, however. He had no good excuse. It was just rain. And some thunder and lightning.

And trauma, Bruce’s voice whispered in the back of his head.

Stupid fucking Bruce saying stupid fucking things like that to him all the time.

When another crack of thunder made Jason jump and bump up against the door behind him, Damian frowned. “He’s okay as long as he gets to sleep with someone,” Damian said, running a hand through Ace’s fur.

“Oh.”

That made sense. Ace didn’t want to be alone, either. Why would anyone want to be?

Because they weren’t being fucking stupid like Jason, probably.

Jason wasn’t sure what to do now, though. Ace was with Damian and probably wouldn’t follow Jason, even if he asked. Ace was Damian’s dog. Damian was Ace’s favorite person. He wouldn’t want Jason as a substitute.

Maybe Jason could sneak past Bruce’s room real fast and go into one of the interior rooms downstairs. The theater, maybe. It had no windows. If he turned the TV on, he—

“You can join us if you want,” Damian said, eliciting another flinch from Jason.

Stupid fucking storm making him all jumpy.

Good thing Bruce wasn’t there to see, he’d get his dumb little frown on his face, similar to the one Damian wore. But Bruce would ask dumb questions like ‘what do you need to feel safer?’

Stupid fucking Bruce. Who made him like that?

Staying in Damian’s room would be admitting he was scared, and he wasn’t…

…admitting it.

Aloud.

“That’s okay, I’m gonna—“

“It’ll make Ace feel better,” Damian cut in, “he likes it when more of his people are near. Sometimes we go into Dad’s room.”

“Oh.” That actually made sense. Ace was a guard dog. If the storm scared him, he probably liked knowing as many of his people were safe as possible.

Jason still wasn’t convinced he was one of Ace’s people, but Damian kept insisting he was, so maybe…

“Are you sure?” He didn’t exactly want to crowd Damian’s space, either.

“Yeah.” Damian pulled his blanket over, making room on the other side of Ace for Jason to crawl in.

Figaro, Damian’s cat, had been underneath the blanket, too, apparently. Jason hadn’t even noticed her, but she protested loudly when the blanket over her moved. Her collar jingled when she jumped down off the bed and crossed the room.

She brushed past Jason, tail up in the air, just as snooty as always, and paused at the door. When Jason didn’t open it for her instantly, she mewed at him.

Loudly.

It was like she was trying to wake everyone in the house, just like she’d been woken.

Jason opened the door for her and she raced across the hall into Bruce’s room. Based on the startled snort Bruce made, she hopped up on him.

Stupid cat was trying to wake everyone.

“Figaro,” Jason heard Bruce mumble, his bedsprings creaking for a second as he grumbled something else Jason couldn’t quite make out.

Jason held his breath, willing Bruce to not get up and check on everyone. But when the bed settled again, and no footsteps followed, Jason let it out in a quiet sigh.

“Okay,” he whispered, “but I’m gonna get my own blanket. Be right back.”

On tip toes, Jason rushed back to his room and grabbed his comforter. It was huge, so he wrapped himself up in it and let the rest of it drag behind him, like an oversized cape.

Was this what Batman felt like all the time? His cape seemed like it would be heavy, even if it didn’t drag the ground. How did he even run around with it? Jason could barely walk down the hall without tripping all over himself.

The storm outside was already calming down, but Jason knew there were several more cells following the one passing. He’d looked at the radar. The storms weren’t going to stop until well after breakfast.

Ace would definitely need the company all night, Jason was sure.

He was extra careful not to wake Bruce on his way back to Damian’s room and very quick to crawl up into the bed, opposite from Damian.

Jason wasn’t used to sleeping with other people in the same room, much less the same bed, but Damian had crashed in Jason’s room once already. It hadn’t been bad.

Maybe a little nice.

He would have never thought it’d be so easy to fall asleep with someone else in the room.

Even though Damian was a heavy sleeper, there was something relaxing about knowing someone else was there. Someone Jason could trust not to be a jerk to him. Damian was just a little kid. And a pretty nice one, at that.

Staying in Wayne Manor was turning him soft…

“We can watch a movie," Damian mumbled, from where he’d curled up next to Ace again, clearly half asleep already.

“You said you’re not allowed.” The last thing Jason wanted was to get Damian in trouble.

He wasn’t quite sure how Bruce punished Damian, since usually all he did was say something like ‘knock it off’ or raise his eyebrows at Damian, and Damian stopped whatever he was doing. Even though he doubted it’d happen, he’d feel terrible if he got Damian hurt just cause he was too scared to fucking sleep.

“Dad won’t care,” Damian mumbled, “there’s no school tomorrow.”

Jason looked at Damian skeptically. The rule was ‘no tv after bedtime.’ Jason wasn’t sure it mattered what day of the week it was.

Damian was, apparently, confident in his opinion Bruce wouldn’t care, because he sat up and grabbed the remote, then handed it to Jason.

It took Damian telling him twice more that it was ‘really fine, just pick something,’ for Jason to actually power on the projector and flip through the kids movie files.

In the end, he found an old cartoon for them to watch instead of a movie, and snuggled down in his blanket, all cocooned up so only his face was showing.

Predictably, Damian fell asleep within 7 seconds of the first episode playing. But the gentle snores from him, as well as the warm weight of Ace against Jason’s side, did help Jason relax a ton.

The storm kept raging outside. At times, the wind howled against the windows, and the rain fell so hard it sounded like hundreds of people were on the fucking roof, stomping. Not to mention the thunder and lightning, which continued to hit nearby.

Even with all that going on, Jason found himself jumping less and less.

And about four episodes in, he started to doze.

Sleeping while it was raining wasn’t something Jason had done in years.

But that night, he slept right through the rest of the storm. If the thunder kept up, Jason didn’t notice it.

When he was finally roused by Ace, well after breakfast, the sun was peeking through the curtains and birds were chirping outside.

Damian yawned dramatically as he stretched and said, “See. Told you Dad wouldn’t care.”

“Yeah.”

Maybe he wouldn’t care next time there were storms, either.

Because… Jason had to admit. He’d never felt as at peace as he did that morning.

He never wanted that feeling to end.

#jason todd #damian wayne #batman #batfam #batfamily #batbros #robin #baby jay #baby damian #fanfiction #pennyverse #c writes #i TOTALLY forgot I usually cross post my oneshots #LOL #so im reposting this like this and gonna delete the link post #but cross posted to ao3!!!#called 'a burnt child' on there

357 notes · View notes

blazewatergem · 3 years ago

Text

I’m setting this up for a auto post thing since it’s like 5:27 AM for me as I type this. I’m scheduling it to post at 9:39 AM

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36054094/chapters/89880799

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29460861/chapters/72366327

But I’m reposting links to these two stories of mine, Court of Chaos(Hobbit fic) and Crimes of Family(MHA fic) because for some reason I am emotional that these two aren’t getting much love.

Like, I feel like I put all I can into my stories - I certainly try my best! - and I know I should be grateful that people are even bothering with what I write, but I guess this is me having a five am break down.

I hate that I crave validation so badly. I do. I’m prideful when I try to tell myself I write for me, and that I “don’t care” if anyone else likes it, but I’m lying. I care so much what others think. Nevermind that once I’m admitting that I feel like all I’m doing is whining. There’s so many better writers, who’d bother with mine?

But fuck it, I’m gonna whine. I’m gonna repost and talk about my interests and scream until I either burn my little heart out or whatever part of me finally gets that I need to start living by what I say listens.

Im not even sure where I’m going with this anymore. Maybe I’ll delete this in the morning. I think I’m just upset with myself lately. I feel like I’m losing friends and going back into my turtle shell, like I’m no longer a good person to talk to. All I do is whine, whine, whine, and swing back and forth between being happy or being sad while swirls into mild indifference built on apathy.

Look at this rant! This post is supposed to be me reposting links to two stories of mine I feel proud of but don’t think they got noticed that well, and here I am being a Debby Downer! I literally cannot understand myself! I don’t know what emotion I’m running on! I don’t know what’s wrong with me!

…maybe I just need some sleep.

#warning: huge ass weird sad rant under read more #I’m just being emotional and stupid and whiny #I don’t even understand myself sometimes #I’m sorry folks 💜 I thank you for listening and putting up with me #I thank you even more as my friends. I can’t be easy to be friends with and I thank you dearly for understanding #talking fire

4 notes · View notes

criis-chan · 6 years ago

Text

Something about art repost

I really need somewhere to vent, so I’m sorry Tumblr.

These days I’m having a lot of problems with the art reposting. I never cared too much if the person who did it gave me credits, and I allowed it. But a few days ago I reached my limit and said to PLEASE don’t repost my drawings anywhere. Why that change of mind? Because that went too far and people started to repost everything without credits. When it just once, you say "well, its ok", but when nobody bothers to do it, it’s frustrating.

When I said that on Instagram I had a problem with someone who started to say nonsense. You can be against repost or not, I can accept that. But with valid argument.

But the problem has arrived today on Facebook. I'm in a quite large Danganronpa group, which reposts my drawings (AN LOTS OF ARTISTS WORKS), without credits. Sometimes they do it, but 90% of the time they upload lots of images without caring where they come from. I never said anything to them and I let it pass.Until a couple of days ago, they shared a post of one of my drawings that was on another group, writting in the main comment my name as "Chris-chan.".When I left a comment to correct them saying that it was "Criiis-chan", they told me that "it was a joke" (obviously many of us know from where.) Joke that is not funny to me anymore, besides that you devalue my work giving “””credits””” to another person. I got really upset, so today when I saw that they were posting another of my drawings without credits, I said that I didn’t allow reposts and that I was not comfortable with it, to please delete the post. I was told that there was nothing against the rules and he laughed at me, saying “noone was gonna die for not posting my art” which frustrated me even more so I opened them a DM. Saying that due to this lack of respect towards me I wanted them to take down all my drawings from that group. To which the admin has told me that it was the first time that an artist complained about art reposting, and I’ve been giving him my point of view and asking respect to the artists.

He had another point of view, so he told me that he didn’t have time for this, that he was going to delete my drawings of the group and that he was going to ban me to avoid more conflicts. And indeed, without letting me say anything, he banned me. And then he made a post adding the link to this Tumblr saying that I do not accept reposts.

They also said I got banned because I threatened them, when I just said I was gonna report that previous post that had no credits.

What happened from here is that people in the comments start laughing at me. And there was even people saying “no one’s gonna repost ur art cause is generic tumblr art” (?????????if you don’t like my art why did you keep posting it? dunno).

The only thing I asked for was respect. Respect for people who creates content. Respect for people who dont want their art to be reposted on another sites, and specially without credits. But seems like this caused some people laugh because "without reposts nobody sees you", "we dont earn money so there’s nothing bad about repost". Sorry, but I rather prefer my art to be seen by just 1 person, than someone who reposted it getting it seen by 1000 when mine is still being seen by 1. Because honestly, people dont usually bother go to artists real medias when they see their art reposted. People lefts a like on the reposted drawing and then leave. It doesn’t benefit us at all.

Obviously, there will be someone who finds artists like that, but most people leave a like and leave.

Please. We only ask respect for artists who do not want their drawings to be reposted.

Im really sorry this was really dense

250 notes · View notes

bangtanger · 5 years ago

Note

hii💜 So i've been following you for a while because i think your gifs are absolutely gorgeous. Seeing all this discourse abt the gifs is very sad.. half a year ago i learned how to make gifs and im still learning how to improve. For example i downloaded avisynth but i have no clue how to use it. Do you know of any tutorial that might help? Because seriously i know so little it's even hard to find the right tutorial. And do you have any other tips or tutorials for further enhancing gifs? tysm 💜

hello!!! ahh thank u angel soso much 🥺❤️

yes ik few but im gonna leave only one here it has pretty much everything here

-wanna add one thing there is also one more more person on twt who posts ts files now @/c_a_leaf (but not only bts)

on step 2 that tutorial of brandinator is what helped me back in the days with avisynth but @michietuts also helped me with some things (especially how to make 60fps out of 30 and how to check if its possible)

-also wanna say another thing i always use this ⬇️ for every single vid cuz other .bats may not work with ts

about further enhancing i use both topaz denoise and topaz clean (there r links in the tutorial) and smart sharpening settings for topaz clean i left here

for denoise i use this

and change only overall strength however i need (the whole image shouldnt look blurry but it should blur some pixels)

u may choose whatever order or settings u like

also the important thing is to check doubled frames there r a lot of videos where every fourth and fifth frame r the same so be careful with this

about coloring well its totally up to u just experiment with different things (back in the days i personally took around 5 different pics with different lighting etc etc and tried to make psd that looks decent on all of them and i still use it but of course i add or delete some layers that i dont like)

also u better add ur watermark on that psd to always use it lol especially bc of this whole reposting thing

bUt if u want ur gifs to look colorful it may decrease the quality and they will look more pixelated (gifs r pretty limited with colors :/) so choose wisely what do u want qualty or more colors

alsoooooo i really dont know what is the gif limit size rn but i can post even 9mb

it took me a while but i really hope sth here may help u dshgfsldfkdg

#asks #im not the best at explaining 😔#alsoooo there in no like one perfect way of making gifs #u may use different ones for different sizes or quality #i personally suck at gifs where there r a lot of ppl and there r no close ups #i still didnt find those rights settings #still need to experiment a lot #there is always ways to improve in it #and this is what makes it so cool and fun

7 notes · View notes

lascivias · 7 years ago

Text

I'm going to 'split' this blog into 5 other blogs, each for a group i stan and write for (that's gonna be helpful if i ever wanna write for more groups) ,, for ex. I'll have a separate blog for bts, one for exo, one for svt, monsta x, nct and so on.. I'm still keeping this as my main blog where I'm gonna reblog all the works and writings that i post on those separate side blogs so everything can still be here together,, i feel like splitting this blog into more blogs is gonna keep everything a bit more organised,,, also the links to the masterlists are going to lead to those blogs,, basically when you feel like reading some monsta x, you can just click on my masterlist here and it will take you to the blog and my monsta x works,, all he works i posted so far im NOT gonna repost on those blogs im just going to reblog them there so i don't lose notes (yes i know im that bitch, plus it wouldn't be good if i deleted them from here then ppl who read before wouldnt be able to find them again) ,, anyways, when im done finishing up the blogs im going to post the urls here,, hope you don't mind this and thank you OH AND ALSO ABOUT REQUESTS!! You will still be able to request on this blog or on one of those blogs it doesnt matter in which ask box you leave your request :)

5 notes · View notes

lairep · 8 years ago

Note

Ugh can you stop whining already? The resposters you're demonizing are HELPING YOU by giving you EXPOSURE so you can be popular like all the other popular artists like there (edendaphne, taylordraws, qookyquice, sakura-rose12, ferisea, ceeljes, etcetara). Posts on instagram with their art helped them become popular and the "evil" reposters are only trying to help you to. Just let them repost soon you'll get 1000 followers. So stop being whiny and just let them help your unpopular ungrateful ass!

Hello, anon! Normally, I would ignore rude anons and immediately delete them, but I feel this type of ask is relevant to raising awareness of the problem we have with reposters, art thieves, and the like. So here we go!

It’s true, I may not be as popular as any of the tumblrs you have mentioned (btw, you misspelled a few :c), but that doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to the rights of, I emphasize, MY OWN WORK. Also, I’m not sure where I was whining anywhere, can you give a source? And what am I supposed to be grateful for exactly? ┐(‘～`;)┌

But yeah, even if I had only 3 followers and half a sandwich, a thing I made and posted is still something I explicitly own. It came from me. All I did was share it via tumblr. If I didn’t share it, guess what? I still made it. The only difference when I shared it was so people can see it too. But I still made it. The reposter didn’t, the art thief didn’t—it was me. Henceforth, it is mine to control how it’s shared and used. You are not entitled to up and use my work without permission, no matter how you justify it.

That goes for all the ‘unpopular’ artists out there too. You created a thing out of nothing. It is yours and no one else’s. If anyone tries to put you down to get you to allow them to repost your stuff or give them ‘free commissions’ for so-called “EXPOSURE”, politely decline them (or flip them off, it really depends on you 👀).

You have something they don’t—your skill. Don’t let them take that from you because they made you feel bad that they make 1000+ notes/likes per (re)post they “made” compared to your sketch getting 9 notes and a supporting comment from grandma. At least you have a skill to make a thing, a skill you can only get better at over time, as opposed to a reposter’s skill of Googling and right-click Save/pressing Print Screen. Because any old schmuck can do that. I can do that. My grandpa can do that. My 4-year old nephew can do that.

We all start from nothing, so have pride in what you can do by yourself! Don’t give up and work hard and I guarantee you, people will definitely notice your effort, be it sooner or later. c: (I was gonna cite Van Gogh as an example of ‘later’ but uhh he got popular after he died so that might be a bad example i’ll shut up about that now im sorry)

But I digress! Back to anon. Your claim is because I’m not a popular artist, I can get recognition via reposters, so I should be grateful. To be frank, I think that claim is all sorts of dumb. It doesn’t explain why reposters then STILL repost work by artists who are clearly more popular than their repost account/s. They certainly don’t need any exposure. The math just doesn’t add up, anon. :c

I do apologize if trying to put me down like this didn’t work out. I am confident in my own (albeit not-that-good-yet) ability and I truly believe that if I do work hard enough, I can make it out there. And even if I never do, at the very least I didn’t enable attitudes such as yours to permeate and be justified. I’ve made friends who appreciate what I do, and at the end of the day, it’s more than enough for me. Even if I don’t make it big, I know they’ll be right here supporting me anyway. My question is, who do you have, anon?

I hope sending out this ask helped you dislike yourself a little less. c: Sorry for the long post!

If anyone needs more information about the reposting/art theft problem and the protest, check out @miraculousblackout! They have all sorts of posts and links to help educate you! If anything else is still unclear, just send an ask. We are here to guide you. Just remember, be respectful! Have a good day! ヾ(☆'∀'☆)

#miraculousblackout #miraculous blackout #reposting #art theft #sorry for the long post #but many points to address #and also i digressed a lot #aaaa #lai answers #Anonymous #long post apologies!

805 notes · View notes

gayninjabadass · 8 years ago

Text

Something for the Living

After the read more link you will find a new Desus fic to go along with @irenedrew beautiful Photo edit. I’ll include the Archive link in case that’s your preferred format.

“Daryl sees Jesus sneaking off in the early morning hours and follows him to see what he is hiding.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11368692

[Photoedit made by Tumblr user Irenedrew. Please do not repost ,link to another site, or remove watermarks without her consent.

Thank you for collaborating with me.]

***So I was asked to write this fic by my sweet child Irenedrew on Tumblr to go along with her beautiful photo edit. It took me so so long because every time I would be almost done with it I would realize I hated it and delete the whole thing and start over. This being the 4th rewrite I finally said enough is enough and I'm just going to post it. I hope it isn't too boring. Im not much of a fluff writer Im usually all angst but the Desus fandom is full of little angels who love peace and happiness and I wanted to give the people what the want. Now though I have to go back to what I'm good at for the Sad Desus fic contest muahahahaha ( please forgive me) I'll write more fluff after***

Daryl woke up to the sound of shuffling socks on hardwood floor. There was a dull ache between his shoulder blades from sleeping on a pile of blankets and he suppressed a groan. He cracked one eye open and peered through the slit obscured by eyelashes to see what Jesus was doing, the only other occupant in the room, and most likely culprit. It was early yet, Daryl figured he’d have slept another hour if it weren't for the movement on the other side of the room reverberating across the floor directly below his ear. He saw Jesus shrugging on his trench coat and picking up his boots from beside the door. Jesus glanced back towards Daryl and so he quickly relaxed his face and waited to hear the door click closed.

They had stayed in the guest bedroom of Rick's Alexandria home last night. The two men had gone to the Kingdom with a message for Ezekiel from Maggie about trade plans. After their visit was over and they departed back for Hilltop they got cut off by a small herd. Daryl and Jesus didn't even consider taking out the walkers, they were too tired, and it wasn't worth it. So they had to circle around to Alexandria to get shelter for the night.

Daryl had insisted on taking the floor. He knew that there was a perfectly good couch downstairs but he was hoping Jesus wouldn't suggest it. The two shared a trailer in Hillstop, slept near each other on runs, shared their meals together. Daryl had found he couldn't wind down anymore without listening to Jesus’s even breathing. Jesus didn't tell him to take the couch. Daryl hoped it was because the thought hadn't occurred to him rather than because Daryl was so obviously needy. Jesus insisted on giving Daryl nearly all the pillows and blankets he could find, so which ever answer it was Jesus didn't seem to mind.

Daryl rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. He didn't understand where Jesus would have gone to in his full gear. They weren't planning on leaving until after lunch today, maybe even staying until tomorrow, they were taking the time while they were here to visit. Jesus wouldn't wear all the extra layers if he just planned on strolling through Alexandria. Suddenly Daryl's gut twisted. What was he up to? Was something wrong? Was he leaving? He hadn't seemed any different than normal but then again Carol never did either and that didn't stop her from taking off. Daryl was invigorated with a sudden energy gathering up his clothes and gear quickly and slipping out the bedroom door to try and see if he could follow Jesus.

Daryl peeked out through Ricks front windows and saw Jesus down the road a bit talking with Aaron. They looked happy not like Jesus was saying goodbye so Daryl waited. They split apart and Aaron continued down towards where Daryl is waiting and Jesus headed off further away. As soon as Aaron passed and there's enough distance Daryl slipped out of Ricks house and walked in the direction he saw Jesus go. Soon Daryl heard a creaking and shuffling sound followed by a soft grunt and thud. He ducked between two houses and spied two small pieces of metal stuck into the beam of the fence high enough for someone to climb over. He knows these are Enids. He had seen her use them a few times but had thought it was good for the girl to go out, he also figured telling a teenager what to do wasn't gonna work so he might as well let her be. She must have let Jesus borrow them or maybe he confiscated them but that doesn't sound like Paul.

Staring up at the top of the fence Daryl counted to 120. 2 minutes of travel time between him and Jesus. He landed on the other side of the fence quietly bending his knees and crouching low to scan the tree line in front of him. There was a pulsing ache in his left knee a feeling he was starting to get used to as it happened more and more often. He shook it off like every other time and pressed onward. It wasn't hard to pick up Jesus’s tracks he was doing nothing to hide them and had only just passed. Daryl kept his pace a little slower than usual, he had longer legs than Jesus and was more accustomed to quick and quiet woods walking, Jesus would probably have to slow down his pace to be as quiet.

Before long a break in the trees shone up ahead of him. Daryl moved sideways along the tree line searching for the right tree to climb by the clearings edge. Daryl scouted out the perfect tree, a sugar maple with thick sturdy branches not too far off the ground. He scaled the tree easily finding a good V in the branches to sit himself in as he gazed out into the field.

Jesus was easy to spot perched lightly on a large rock with his legs crossed and a book spread across his lap. His hand loosely gripping a pencil was fluttering across the page here and there and back. After a little while of watching Daryl figured he must be drawing, his hand wouldn't move like that if he were writing anything. Daryl didn't know that Paul liked to draw. In all the time they had spent together he hadn't talked about it and Paul talked about everything. There was a twinge of betrayal in Daryl's stomach. He didn't know why, it was hardly a big important secret, but Daryl found he didn't like not knowing things about Paul. He wondered how much more there was to learn. Could he dance? Was he a singer? He seemed artsy now that Daryl took the time to consider it. Daryl told himself to focus and shook that trail of thoughts from his head.

The field was overgrown with tall grass and wild flowers and the soft breeze gently swayed them back and forth. Jesus had removed his beanie and his silky shoulder length hair was tucked behind one of his ears falling like a curtain over the other as he bent over his book. Daryls chest pulled at the sight of his concentrated face,his bottom lip pulled between his teeth, and his eyes flickering around the page as quickly as his hand. He glanced up every few moments at a tall purple flower in front of him. After a while Jesus closed his book and got up pulling a knife from his waist and cutting the stem of the flower he was just observing.

Daryl quickly climbed down from his perch and began to make his way back to Alexandria. He wasn't sure how much longer Jesus was going to be out here but he knew he needed to get back before him to avoid having to explain himself. He realized now that Jesus was just enjoying his morning, not running away from him, and he felt foolish for being so dramatic and needy. He planned which Alexandrians he wants to visit on his walk back so that he could keep himself busy and stop his mind from spinning that moment of weakness into something much bigger. “Don't over think it” he heard Paul tell him in his mind. It was one of the most common pieces of advice he threw at Daryl. Sometimes Paul would just blurt that out in a silent moment because he could just tell that Daryl was stewing on something. He hadn't told Paul that the voice in his head reminding him to breath, to not overthink, to relax, had started to sound alot like him.

A few hours later while Daryl was sitting on the porch steps of Aaron and Eric's house enjoying a glass of tea he saw Jesus walking towards Alexandria's small graveyard. Aaron was saying something beside him but Daryl's attention was completely on Paul as he vanished from view. Daryl stood up abruptly startling Aaron into silence. When he looks at Aaron's confused face he isn't sure how to explain himself.

“Jus’ saw Paul down the road a ways, looked like he needed a hand. I’ll catch up with you later” He started off down the road before thinking better of it and turned back to shout “Thank’s fer the Tea.”

But Aaron didn't look put off at all. He was smiling fondly after Daryl and just waved his hand at his thanks “Go, go catch up with Jesus.”

Daryl picked up his pace for most of the distance slowing to a walk once he was closer so that he wouldn't be out of breath when he ran into Jesus. He rounded the corner of the last house before the Gazebo and paused to take in the sight before him. Jesus was crouched in front of a grave. He had an Arm full of green flowers that he was lying delicately on each. It struck Daryl just how many there are now. He thinks back to the people he burried at the Prison and his chest aches for them. T-Dog's grave, the grave for Carol who came back to them, the grave they never got to make for Herschel. Paul was more observant than Daryl gives him credit for because he didn't wait for Daryl to announce himself he just started talking to him.

“Was this an entire family, Monroe?”

“Yeah, Deanna... Reg n’ their two sons Spencer n’ Aiden”

Daryl recalled the names of the dead easily, He couldn't do the same for those still alive. Paul's soft gaze lifted from Deanna's grave to look at Daryl. The spitting image of the Lord bowing before a wooden cross struck Daryl. He felt the rush of complicated admiration, shame, and confusion that accompanied it. Daryl never called Paul Jesus aloud but in the safety of his own mind he entertained that connection. There was a deep thread somewhere in him, the fear of god left there by his mother, that he had nearly forgotten all together.

“Did they die together?”

Daryl thought Paul's voice sounded a little hopeful when he asked and Daryl could understand why. It would have been easier for all of them that way. No One left behind to mourn their mother or their son.

“Nah, Aiden died right ‘bout when we got to Alexandria. Run gone bad. Don't remember ever meetin’ him. Deanna used to lead this place, was good at it too, she got over run when there was a walker heard rolling through here. Reg got killed a while before that by Pete Anderson.” Daryl remembers this moment. His return with Morgan. He hadn't known what was happening but his instincts kicked in and he was ready to back Rick up in a heartbeat. “Then Rick killed Pete and the same herd that got Deanna got Pete's whole family the rest of the Andersons.” Daryl got off track avoiding talking about Spencer. He can't think of a nice thing to say about the guy. He hadn't grown to like him like Rosita or tried to reach out to him like Michonne. He found himself giving in as he ran out of stalled time. “Spencer was a little shit always thought he was the smartest guy in the room, tried to cozy up to Negan and throw Rick under the bus, the way I hear it, and Negan gutted him for it. Can't say I miss havin’ to watch my back around that guy and ‘is creepy ass smile. We already met ya when we lost Spencer. You guys could a’ met.”

Jesus gazed thoughtfully over the graveyard listening to Daryl. He started asking Daryl about every individual grave as he laid flowers on them. Some were from before Daryl was at Alexandria but not many. He told Jesus how they died if that's all he knew but he told stories about how they lived when he could. That's what he did for Denises and Olivia skipping over the guilt he still feels over Denise. They stayed like that for a few hours. Slowly walking the cemetery giving attention to those long gone. Daryl found the process uniquely relaxing and the fresh earthy smell of the flowers Jesus brought was soothing. They stopped at Maggie's grave. The one that had been made to throw Negan off and Daryl shivered. Jesus turned to Daryl now noticing his discomfort.

“She doesn't need this now does she? Negan is locked up and he saw her at the fight at Hilltop.“

“I think everyone forgot it was here.”

Jesus noded to that leaning down and pulling the cross out of the ground and stuffing the last bundle of green flowers into the hole left behind.

“Something living for the living, something dead for the dead.”

Daryl looked quizzically at Jesus not sure what to make of that statement. Paul smiled his knowing way looking up at Daryl through long eyelashes.

“I just mean that these flowers might grow if planted, the ones we left on the other graves won't. They will wilt and sink into the earth. These ones have a chance though, a better monument to Maggie.”

Daryl gnawed on his lip for a moment before pulling his water skin off his belt and pouring it over the newly planted flower.

“Don't they need roots?”

Daryl couldn't really understand how a flower without roots was going to grow. Jesus didn't treat him like he should have already known he just begins explaining it to Daryl in the same tone he would have for any old conversation.

“ Well some plants can grow new roots, as long as they can still get sun on their leaves and a little bit of rain fall.” Jesus who was usually so calculated was letting his excitement shine through as he talked about the flowers. It was clearly something he really enjoyed. They way he looked at Daryl made it seem like he was talking about something bigger than the flowers. Like he wanted Daryl to understand some deeper meaning and that made Daryl nervous. ”This plant is called Hoya carnosa its young yet, that's why the flowers buds are all green but in time it will have white blossoms. I wasn't planning on planting any of them. I grabbed them while they were still green because green is for release.“

There was still that gnaw of self doubt but Daryl thought he may have never been this interested in flowers in his life. He almost didn't recognize the sound of his own voice when he asked Jesus about them.

“Whats white for?”

Jesus is smiled brightly more than happy to explain which started a swell of pride in Daryl's chest.

“Well... white is for innocence, purity, honesty...”

Daryl snorted cutting off his list.

“Yeah it’s good for Maggie.”

Jesus beamed at Daryl

“Yeah it is. What should we do with this now?”

Daryl looked at the cross in Jesus’s hands. Soft sun bleached wood with Maggie carved carefully across the center. He reached out a dirty hand and ran a finger across her name.

“I got an idea.”

A few hours later sitting on the floor of Aaron's garage Daryl looked over his work with a critical eye. Now the cross had been repurposed. Maggies name still sat at its center but the top of the cross had Herschel's name descending vertically towards hers. The left point had Beths name and the right Glenns. Jesus emerged from within Aaron's house carrying a reef of dried flowers.

“I found one. I knew that there would be one stashed in somebody's attic.” He approached Daryl looking down at the cross that lay by his feet “Her father and sister?”

Daryl nodded taking the reef from Jesus and bent down. He lodged the bottom of the cross through the reef so that the circle of flowers frames all four names just the very tips of the three top most points extended beyond it.

“Maggies Irish aint she?”

Jesus nodded. “Celtic cross?”

Daryl nodded. They looked up eyes meeting. They had been focused on their work for the past few hours but now time seemed to stop. Paul had ditched his scouting layers earlier now he stood before Daryl in the dimming sunlight wearing a loose billowing white shirt and cargo pants. His hair draped around his shoulders. His blue eyes were boring right into Daryl's and all the air seemed to leave his lungs. His brain short circuited and he blubbered out the first thing he thought.

“Ya look like a flower.”

Jesus let out a surprised laugh tucked his hair behind his ears and met Daryl's eyes again curiosity all over his face.

“Any particular flower? Or just in general?”

He was teasing Daryl but instead of his normal annoyance Daryl felt a warm swelling feeling bubbling up from the pit of his gut and spreading until he felt like he couldn't swallow.

“Ah, I dunno. Was stupid I just think.. Yer ya know. Pretty... for a ninja prick.”

A scarlet blush blazed across Daryl's cheek and chest and he would run if his feet weren't frozen to the floor. He couldn't believe he just said that. The insult tacked on the end did virtually nothing to mask the affection. He couldn't stew too long on how dumb he felt because Jesus was smiling at him and suddenly Daryl couldn't remember what he was just mad about.

“Thankyou Daryl” If Daryl didn't know any better he would think Jesus just blushed too, it's been a hot day he reminded himself. “Come on’ Its getting late we can't head back to Hilltop tonight. Let's go settle in at Ricks, I have something for you.”

Daryl watched after Jesus as he turned to head back towards Rick's home. His heart was beating too fast so he paused a moment taking his time to gather up Maggies gift and turned to start cleaning up his mess. In the door that connects the garage to the house was Eric's head peeking out with Aaron's right above it. Daryl froze in place heart hammering all over again.

“Daryl go! Go! We can clean this up.”

Daryl was speechless looking at the two men in front of him as they fluttered about the garage grinning and elbowing each other. Eric puts his small hands on Daryl's shoulder and lightly shoved him out into the street. Daryl turned back just as he heard the automatic door start closing. As it descended Eric crouched to stay visible waving his hands towards Rick's house chanting “Go!�� over and over again while Aaron laughed somewhere further back in the garage. The door settled against the ground and Daryl had no idea what just happened. He shifted Maggies gift to his other hand and started heading towards Rick’s.

Daryl walked up the stairs slowly his stomach doing somersaults. This is ridiculous. He spends more time with Paul than anyone else and this has never happened before. Sure sometimes seeing Paul doing some really badass ninja shit will make Daryl grin but thats because its really cool. And yeah maybe the smell of Paul as he walks by right after his shower when his hair is still wet gives Daryl goosebumps but that doesn't mean anything does it? Daryl had made it to the door where he stood now uncomfortably, he wanted to run the other direction. Paul was facing away from him by the window but turned around to greet him when he heard him approach. In his hands he held a small clear vase with three purple flowers. He looked concerned as he stepped forward.

“Hey” His voice was gentle he moved forward until he stood right before Daryl. “ Not a fan of surprises huh? You look nervous.”

Daryl ran a hand over his face and shifted his weight between his feet. He had no idea what he wa doing. Paul looked at thim with those big beautiful eyes and Daryl was terrified. He didn't answer and Paul took a step closer holding the flowers between them.

“These are Delphinium commonly called Larkspur. They represent big heartedness and Levity.”

Daryl stared down between them at the delicate cluster of small flowers on each of the three stems. He had seen flowers like these before. They attracted a lot of butterflies and when he was a kid he sat near some in the woods just to watch them. Daryl still hadn't said anything his mind racing and his mouth dry. Paul spoke again.

“They are for you Daryl, these are your surprise. Not so scary right?”

Paul was standing so close to Daryl he worried the flowers would be crushed between them. He knew he needed to say something. Anything.

“How’d ya know so much ‘bout flowers?”

JPaul pulled the vase he holds a little closer to his own chest. Looking at the ground for a moment before answering with much less enthusiasm.

“Ah it's just something I picked up. At first I was trying to learn about what you could eat or use for medicine but I really liked learning about all the symbolism behind giving flowers. I hadn't realized back before just how much every specific flower meant. Why people picked the flowers they did for weddings and proms and all that.”

Paul’s expression was guarded and Daryl realized he hadn't accepted the flowers or thanked him and now he was positive he needed to get out of there. He didn't know how to escape without making everything worse than he had already made it.

“I like stars.”

Daryl wanted to cut his tongue out. What is with the word vomit? Why does he keep saying stupid shit without thinking first? Never what Paul needed to hear just whatever dumb useless thought was passing through his brain. Paul looked interested tilting his head a new twinkle in his eye.

“You like stars?”

Daryl tried to think quickly and pull his foot out of his mouth.

“Yeah, they got meanings like flowers. Constellations ain't just for guiding ya when yer lost. They got stories. When I was a kid I got lost in the woods for 9 days eventually found my way back. Ain't no one knew I was gone. Thought I’d learn about them stars like Harriet Tubman, we was learnin’ about that in school ‘fore I stopped goin’ but then I found all them stories ‘bout why they got named the way they did. Ended up liking that more than knowin where I was goin’”

Paul had a small smirk that twitched as he is tried to contain it.

“Right. Like me and the flowers. Started practical ended up fun.”

Daryl felt relief rushing through his veins “Yeah like that.”

Paul couldn't hold back the smile anymore “A Lot of things start out practical and end up fun.” Daryl didn't know where this conversation was going anymore. He was still worried that maybe he should take the flowers from Paul’s hands.“Like for example, we started spending time with each other because it was practical. You were safer at Hilltop back then, didn't know very many people , you were avoiding Maggie and Sasha…. but now. It's fun.”

That lump returned to Daryl's throat. Spending time with Paul had been fun. It had been more than fun, it was amazing and he couldn't tell if Paul was teasing him or if he liked spending time together as much as Daryl did. Daryl grabbed the flowers from his hands and side stepped to place them on the dresser. Paul leaned against the door frame his face a mask of concentration as he watched Daryl. Daryl leaned his head down between his shoulders and took a deep breath. He was getting overwhelmed this happened once in awhile around Paul. He thought they might be tiny panic attacks but he would never ask anyone how you could tell. Instead he just rubbed the sweat from his lip onto his forearm and tried to focus on the grain of the wood in front of him. Just like all the previous times Paul could sense something change and gave Daryl space.

“I’m going to wash up alright?”

Paul asked even though he didn't need to as he passed Daryl heading for the bathroom attached to their shared room. As soon as the door closed behind him Daryl slid down on to the floor, leaned his head back against the dresser, and sighed. Across the way on the bed side table Daryl saw the same book Paul was carrying this morning. Daryl turned his head waiting until he heard the sound of the shower running before he got up and moved over towards the bed. He sat down with his back to the small attached bathroom and ran a dirty finger over the worn leather cover of the journal. It's page's were weathered, no longer lying flat and orderly between the covers.

Daryl picked the journal up and flipped it open. The first page said ‘Paul Rovia’s Guide to Flowers’ in a delicate and neat script. Daryl smirked seeing his real name scrawled so neatly. He would have expected it to say Jesus. As he continued to flip through the book Daryl saw a lot of flowers he recognized and some he didn't. The drawings were simple and clear pencil sketches not all of them included color but the ones that did leapt off the page with their depth and detail. On the page opposite the drawings were lists of information, flower meanings, details about where they grow or what they can be used for. When Daryl reached the last page he found a beautiful colored sketch of the very flowers Paul brought him. The opposite page lists the meaning he had been told but it continued, the list of meanings much longer than Paul had explained. It also said “desire for laughter,strong attachment, affection, first love”. Daryl nearly jumped out of his skin when Paul’s voice came from behind him. He had been so absorbed he hadn't heard the shower turn off.

“I might have left a few details out.”

Daryl looked over his shoulder sheepishly and saw that Jesus’s wet hair was leaving the shoulders of his soft green T-shirt damp. Paul worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he gauged Daryl's reaction.

“Sorry… I..” Daryl fumbled for the right words and clumsily closed and returned the journal to the table. Jesus sat delicately on the very edge of the bed on its opposite side looking at the comforter he pinched between his fingers.

“No don't apologize, it's not a diary. I planned to tell you the whole meaning when I picked them. But then you looked so uncomfortable so I thought maybe now wasn't a good time.”

Jesus peeked up at Daryl and lifted one side of his mouth in an insincere smile. One he only used when he wanted to make sure Daryl was comfortable even if he himself was not. Daryls heart ached. He wanted to reach out and touch the scout but like earlier he felt paralyzed by his uncertainty. Also like earlier that paralysis did not extend to speech.

“‘member when I told you ‘bout the farm?”

Paul’s eyebrows pulled together and he nodded. He learned some time ago how to talk to Daryl. Even if he was confused about the things he said or the direction he took the conversation was unexpected he just went along with it. So he began piling his hair into a bun and pulled his legs up onto the bed so he could face Daryl completely.

“Yes, Herschel's farm? Where you met Maggie and got shot by Andrea.”

It still amazed Daryl how closely Paul listened.

“ya, well … when I was lookin’ for Sophia I was real stuck on it. I couldn't let it go. Just kept thinkin’ ‘bout how long I’s out there, younger than her. I thought if we ain't found no body then she ain't dead. I was out searchin’ with a bandage still on my head. Rick was right though, she ain't a Dixon, ain't been taught those skills. After a day or two we shoulda been lookin for a body walking or not. Thing was everyone else agreein’ with Rick didn't matter none. I wasn't gonna give up on her. She had somethin’ I didn't, people lookin’ . Carol gave up though. Told me to give up to. I was so angry. I went and I found a Cherokee rose. I brought it to her, told her her baby was still out there, that we was gonna find her. You know the story of the Cherokee rose? Didn't see it in ya book.”

Paul leaned against the head of the bed listening intently with warmth in his big eyes.. He shook his head ‘no’ unwilling to interrupt Daryl those times when he did choose to share this much as seldom as they usually are. Now that he had paused speaking though Daryl began to feel the waves of uncertainty washing back up against him. Paul leaned forward over Daryl to pick up his journal and pulled a pencil from the drawer. The sudden proximity froze Daryl's breathing. Pauls wet hair smelled of vanilla the scent still wafting after he pulled back. Daryl felt those familiar goosebumps trailing from the back of his neck down his spine.

“Will you tell me about It?“

Paul gently encouraged Daryl to continue his eyes imploring Daryl not to shrink away. He held his pencil readily against the blank page and patiently waited. They spend the next few hours as the sun completely sets recording the story of the Cherokee rose by candle light and basing the drawing of it off of Daryl's descriptions. When it's finished Daryl found that he and Paul were leaning against each other huddled against the head of the bed with the journal balanced where their thighs touch. When Daryl turned his face to look at Paul he saw that there was only about 2 inches between their faces. His eyes roamed the younger man's features flicking from his full lips, to his sparkling candle lit sea blue eyes, down the slope of his delicate nose, and back around.

“I have something to tell you.”

Paul's eyes were unwavering his voice nearly a whisper as it drifted the small distance between them. Darlys heart filled with anticipation.

“When we went to the kingdom I visited with Carol. Or well… she sort of demanded that I come see her. She had Sheva with her. She told me to sit on the floor. I thought she might feed me to the tiger.” Jesus smiled at the memory his gaze inward as he tells the story “she is very protective of you ya know. She cares alot about you. I think I can see why. You guys were close from the start. After she was done trying to intimidate me she told me that the best way to talk to you was with actions. That you trusted what you could see with your own eyes more than what people said.” Paul emerged from his inward thoughts his eyes alert again as they roamed Daryls face, the distance between them was filled with electricity. “I know how you think, if I tried to tell you how much you matter to me you'd run. It's why I gave you those flowers instead.”

Paul looked like he expected Daryl to run now. Daryl didn't want to run though. In the soft candle light with whispered voices it feels safe to let Paul in. Daryl wanted to tell Paul that he matters to him too. That he's all that matters some days but his mouth was still dry and the words sound wrong in his head. Daryl felt so grateful in that moment realizing how much effort Paul puts in always thinking about how to make Daryl comfortable. Daryl wanted to do the same for him. Before he can over think it Daryl reached up and pulled the hair tie from Paul's bun. His hair that's mostly dry fell in waves around his face. Daryls hand wove into the locks of hair just behind his ear and his thumb traced the line of his temple. Paul’s breath caught in his chest and his eyes fluttered closed.

“I'm sorry, I'm no good at takin’ care a ya”

Daryl felt naked as he spoke. The vulnerability not unwelcome but new and exhilarating. Paul’s eyes opened again and he raised a hand to rest against Daryl's wrist, trapping his hand against the side of his face. He pressed his nose into Daryl's palm and whispered his reply back, the movement of his lips a gentle dance against Daryl's rough skin.

“You really have no idea how much you've already done for me.”

Daryl was surprised when he felt tears stinging his eyes. He was feeling cracked open and yet more whole than he has ever felt before. He tried to pull his hand back to rub at his eyes but Paul stopped him.

“Please, let me”

The hand that wasn't holding his own lifted to lightly trace the lower lid of each of Daryl's eyes. The gentle touch bringing more tears out rather than stopping them. Daryls mind has started spiraling away.

“You're too good Paul. You deserve someone like you. I ain't… I... never done nothin’ like this.”

His words are silenced by the press of Paul’s lips. A chaste feather light kiss that lasted only a second but stole all the air from the small space between them.

“My mother told me once, before she died that we don't choose who we love. I’ve never met a man who's got a bigger heart than you. I don't mind going slow. We can figure this out together. I'm scared too. Just...don't run from me...please. I’ll give you space when you ask for it.”

Daryl couldn't believe how badly he wanted Paul's words to be true. He wanted to be the things Paul says he is. He wanted to deserve the gentleness and affection and he found it easier than he ever thought just to let go and accept it. His head tilted forward of its own volition and tucked against Paul's neck. The contented sigh that passed Paul's lips further reassured him that this really was as right as it felt. They became a mess of tangled limbs pressing as close together as they could manage holding each other tightly and whispering little confessions back and forth.

First Paul “I think you're arms are sinful temptations and your hatred for sleeves

Is going to kill me.” Then Daryl “If Jesus really did look like you it ain't so hard to figure why so many people followed him.” Paul again “Sometimes when you're in one of your moods I hide your things in the trailer to get you to talk to me.” Daryl already knew that. He had figured it out the third or fourth time it happened but he had let it slide because most of the time he really did want to talk to Paul he just didn't know how to start and Paul's antics provided them both a solution. It was Daryl's turn again “ When I first started staying with ya at Hilltop, right after the Sanctuary, I had nightmares. Worst ones a my life. I always woke up and heard ya breathing. Can't sleep without it no more. S’why I didn't wanna sleep on the couch.” Their voices grow drowsy as they pass little truths back and forth until eventually they fall asleep.

Daryl woke up first and for a moment he didn't know where he was. Paul's head was resting on his chest his hair tickled Daryl's nose. Daryl smoothed the hair away from his face and woke Paul with the movement. His whole body froze above Daryl's as he recognized the position they were in. Slowly he picked his head up to face Daryl. He kept his face a careful neutral.

“Mornin’”

Paul dropped his head dramatically after Daryl's greeting.

“Oh thank the Lord. For a second I thought I woke up first.”

Daryl didn't understand why Paul wouldn't want to wake up first.

“Jus’ woke up myself. Second ago.”

“ Good then I didn't make you wait.”

He smiled after he said it but Daryl could see through him to the nervousness underneath. It was so early, the bed was so warm, the calm feeling hovered around him like a fog and he smiled as he realized he is the cool headed one in this moment.

“Yer eyes are buggin worse than a rabbit caught in a trap. We fell asleep in the same bed. Ain't like we gave each other sponge baths. Relax.”

Paul laughed a full bellied laugh clearly caught off guard. When he responds he sounds much more like his confident self.

“ If I’d realized it was an option…”

Daryl hit Paul over the head with the pillow to his left and they both laughed. Daryl wasn't sure if they were a couple now but he was excited to find out.

#maximumred #1st #July #2017 #July 1st 2017 #desus #darus #jesusxdaryl #desus fanfic #jesus x daryl #daryl x jesus #desus fluff #ao3fic

75 notes · View notes

ask-jungshook · 8 years ago

Note

Can I repost your art on Twitter? (W credit)

// Hi there guys! Gonna be kinda blunt with this (so sorry if it comes off as kinda rude, it not my intention at all lol)

I’m sorry, but the short answer is no.

I’ve been like super tentative about posting a reply to this because it can be a touchy subject to some, but either way, I have to respond – please just keep in mind that this is my own person stance on the matter.

As stated in my FAQ, I do not allow for my art to be reposted or edited without my permission on any social media other than my own. (The only place where I post up my stuff is this blog, my artblog, and occasionally my personal IG & twitter– the latter two are really rare though) I mean I’m OK if you use it for your own personal use like phone bgs, but only to that extent. And I just try to stress with everyone PLEASE RESPECT an artist’s decision on how they want their art handled.

If it helps, I can explain a bit on why that’s my stance on my artwork right now. I ran into issues in the past with people reposting my art without my permission and without credit (someone even posted their own watermark on top of one of my pieces lol) and some even had the audacity to call me a variety of colorful names when I asked nicely for them to take it down since my social media pages clearly state that I do not allow repostings of any of my works. (To give you context, I asked them nicely if they could take down the picture, then when they didn’t respond, I simply filed a DMC claim stating my violation of a copyright, they got salty and then started slandering me once their post got taken down because I was the ‘bad guy’– real mature stuff guys lol)

That event actually made me stop drawing for awhile because of how negatively it affected me (and honestly it made me stop drawing anything for kpop because of how nasty some fans can be – which is ironic because the fanart didn’t belong to them in the first place?? like why would you attack the original artist for just trying to protect their own work????) But thankfully the BTS community has been a delight to be a part of, so I’ve been slowly recovering from that mishap– seriously tho, bless you guys

I’ve also seen a lot of artists that I admire post similar posts to this regarding their stances on their art and I just want to paraphrase one of the things that I read that was written by one of them (the username escapes me rn im sorry, but I really liked how they phrased it): Every time an artist posts something, there’s always a risk involved. We trust our viewers to respect our decision about how we want our works handled, but once that trust is broken it’s really hard to regain it back. Please remember, we are also human, we have our breaking points. So please do not be that last straw that breaks the artist.

Right now, for me at least, I’m like slowly working out my insecurities over this topic with this blog and slowly once again starting to re-share my art online. It’s not really that much of a publicity/recognition thing for me, it more about what my pieces mean to me emotionally so any misuse of my art feels like an attack on part of me? Not sure if that makes sense, but that’s the best way I can explain about what my art means to me.

And if you’re one of those people who are like ‘no, I post what I want idc’, you have to put yourself in the artist’s shoes.

Like I don’t do art as a living, but a lot of other artists out there do. So let’s say you spend X amount of hours working on a piece that you think looks pretty dang nice and that you’re potentially looking to sell as a print or something. You post it on social media to show your friends and followers, only to have it taken and REPOSTED by someone else and the only credit towards you being “ctto” (which I learned meant ‘credit to the owner’). How do you think that makes the artist feel? (This also create a chain reaction of people reposting that repost and all goes to hell especially in this digital era since shady people can start selling art they stole as their own, but that’s a completely different topic)

It’s honestly can be really discouraging as an artist because it turns from a ‘I’m really proud of this piece that i drew’ to a ‘why is someone else claiming/taking my work’ which can lead to ‘I never want to share my art again’.

Some artists may put larger watermarks on their pieces to counteract that, while others may just delete their blog and all of their works completely. But it honestly sucks the most for artists who do sell their work as a living, because they can’t take down anything because it’s literally their job. Instead they have to worry that every time they post something up– will it get stolen by someone else? Things like this can potentially mess up the way they want to promote their works. (Or worse, impact their sales if someone steals it completely– but once again, art theft is a completely different topic haha)

So I’m sorry if I sound ‘selfish’ about my stance, at the end of the day it’s a mental battle between me and my conscious. Right now, I’m not comfortable with having my things reposted or edited (even if you offer to credit me– thank you for asking me first btw!), but maybe that will change in the future. I just ask for you guys to respect my wishes because while I think I’m at a pretty good place emotionally, if the wrong buttons are pressed, it doesn’t take much for me to go back into full seclusion mode.

However, if you really want to share my work, please just share a link to my tumblr instead of my actual pieces, I would be very appreciative if you did that instead. Hope that makes some sort of sense, & I hope you understand that it’s nothing personal against you guys. I really do appreciate all of my followers, but I also need to think of myself and my mentality first.

Thanks for reading

#// unshook #// admin faq #// mental health is important guys lol #// like im at a good place right now but i would rather not relive how i felt back then #// i like just stopped drawing #// it was esp bad since one of the reposters i asked to take down my work on twitter was really rude about it . . . and it became literally #// me vs them and their 100k followers #// I took the high road though and just ignored them after filing a DMC claim but man lol being online ganged up like that is not fun #// the part i found most ironic tho was that they accused that i wasnt a stan of the artist #// hoe do i see you waking up at 4 am to stand in line and see this artist in the first goddamn row of their concert?#// i didn’t see them flying to toronto to catch a second show either .. . .#// they had a vine pinned on their twitter of their footage from the same concert and i could probably point out my head in the front too tb #// but yeah lol rant aside #// please respect my wishes please i really dont want a repeat of what happened before #// i value my mental health over pretty much everything lol #// i also have a 0 tolerance for art theft this also relates to like tracing and shit but that’s a different story lol #// and ofc i tried to keep this short but it wound up rly long #// dissu pls #// ok serious talk over now LMFAO #// i will now go back to my memeing self lol

30 notes · View notes