#so im not sure if two issues came out this week or if the site i usually take the raws from simply uploaded

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 783: Advancing ranks

Pag 1

1: “Friends”....

2: “People who trust each other and treat each other as equal”

“People who hang out and chat together”

4: Funatsu-kuun

Huh!? Me... me!? What

You and Kiriya-kun are friends?

5: Ye-yeah, we've been together for three years, so of course

And last year and this year we worked hard together and participated in the Inter High....right?

Yeah

And what about me?

Huh!?

Pag 2

1: What about me?

2: Are we friends!?

3: Uhm, well

4: We also were together for three years with this guy and we practiced and participated in the Inter High together

Uh.... well

What shoud I say? How should I answer this question

But this guy doesn't talk about anything but bikes

5: There they are, Midosuji's “cryptic questions”!!

Thank god this time his target is Funatsu

6: What's the correct answer!!

Ahh, dammit... I'm suddenly shaking

Midosuji!!

7: I'm sorry, Funatsu!! Do your best!! Funatsu!!

Pag 3

1: Of course!!

We've been running together for three years!! You're a great friend!!

How about this!!

3: Fr... iends...

Me and.... you?

6: He's satisfied!? Yes!! It was the correct answer!?

Pag 4

1: What, did you misunderstand?

Me and you are not equal in the slightest!?

Pag 5

1: Our efforts, tenacity, our attitude and readiness, and even our imagination!!

Uwaaahiiii!!

2: Didn't you think about it?

Ah.. was there even a moment when you felt like we were equal!? Surely

Dammit so this is what it was!!

3: You that in your zeal for goodness became nothing?

Puku

4: What's this!? This time

Ahh, dammit, don't spout nonsense!!

This time even my parents came to see me

5: Midosuji-san

More importantly

Pag 6

1: The course is changing

Turning west along the flat seaside road

Pag 7

1: it's entering a hill

4: The Kyoto Pass

It's a hill with a 3.5km climb with an incline of 4%, about 250m above sea level

Pag 8

1: According to my plan....!! Alright....!!

Let's move on....!!

2: Heading for the next phase!!

Yeah!!

Yes!!

Yes!!

4: Kyoto Fushimi are assembling and moving up

5: They didn't move in the first half, Kyofushi is saving their legs

Yet on this short climb they're spontaneously moving up their group's position

Pag 9

1: They're moving up!!

3: Seeing him this up close, this Midosuji really is amazing

His body's thickness is completely different from other people's, and his limbs are so long!!

4: He has such an aura that it makes me feel like there's no way I could win!!

5: I broke out into a cold sweat but at the same time I can't help but laugh a little!!

Pag 10

1: They really are amazing, Onoda, Imaizumi... and Naruko, they fought against him last year and the year before!?

3: Sugimoto-san

Sugimoto-san

4: Ah, sorry, is everything alright?

I was just thinking a little about something, just a little

5: That's right, I'm in the “selected team”!! I need to focus more on bringing these guys together!!

Pag 11

2: Huh

3: The two sprinters who went ahead

4: have turned back!!

We're back... we're back!!

5: Sugimoto-san!!

Yeah!! Kobayashi!! Uchikawa!!

Pag 12

1: We somehow managed to catch up to the lead

Is that so!!

But the remaining 3km... too fast!!

I see!!

2: That guy from Hiroshima let us know a lot of things

I see!!

They're so sweaty and their jerseys are all torn out too

3: They worked hard, I'm glad...!!

4: I couldn't last until the very end, but Kobayashi-san was there too

There were four people in front of me so I pushed as hard as I could in fifth place

5: And I placed ninth

Oh you're in the top ten, amazing, amazing!

Waaa, Sugimoto-san praised me, I'm so happy

Pag 13

1: Hahaha

Ah, that's my line....

I'm feeling so proud, somehow

2: Ninth place is amazing

Well... Ichikawa pulled me

Was the lead amazing?

It was!!

3: I'm aiming for the top ten for the mountain line too!!

Really? Do your best!

5: We're an impromptu team and we still have a long way to go in terms of skill, but with our mutual interest and cheerfulness

Pag 14

1: Maybe we could go far!!

3: It's all thanks to Sugimoto-san

No no, I only asked Doubashi

Doubashi-san also helped us a lot!!

4: That's right, next time we meet him

Pag 15

1: I'll have to thank Doubashi

3: Dammit!!

Sorry, it's my fault!!

4: With opponents like that, if I had gone myself we would have placed even lower

This just shows how hard it is to carry out your words in road racing

Pag 16

1: As I told you, you needed to be careful about that guy

3: The race goes went a low pass and passe through a tunnel

Pag 17

1: They went downhill in a line

2: Waa... this is the place for “three seconds”...!!

Kiji-saan!! Fou!!

3: Looking at the limestone quarry that is the raw material for cement

4: the passed through the coal mining factory that supported the growth of Kitakyushu

Pag 18

1: The ranks went south along the riverside in the inland areas of Kyushu

2: Ah....

Oi, Issa, how long....

3: How long are you gonna feel down!?

Pag 19

1: Naruko-san

2: Stop with the depressing sighs

You'll just have to use your frustration as a springboard to keep moving!!

3: Naruko-san, you don't know what it feels like to lose a sprint!!

5: I've matured, I've matured, I've matured.... or I should have

Naruko chanting magic words to suppress his anger

Two people who feel so sorry for him they have no words

6: What's wrong? You're shivering and peeing your pants?

I wanna kill him...!!

7: Hotshot, gimme permission to kill him!!

I don't have that license

8: Ah!!

I see it!!

Pag 20

1: It's the mountain!!

The first day's..... this Inter High's very first....

2: mountain!!

[love-killed-the-superstar]

The Last Ronin 2: Re-Evolution Issue #1 LIVEBLOG

SPOILERS ABOUND. I'M NOT GOING TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS IT'LL PROBABLY GET SUPER LONG

Okay so Casey Marie's muscles are something I'm never going to get over. SHE LOOKS GOOD!!!!! Her getup is feeling a little too reminiscent of a cape-wielding superhero for my tastes to be honest - I really loved the more practical outfits she wore in TLR Lost Years, especially in issue 4 when she was running the training mission for the kids. But ah well, I'm sure this will grow on me. It may not be practical (edna's law of no capes is coming to mind, also PLEASE TIE YOUR HAIR UP WHEN YOU'RE FIGHTING GIRL!!!) but it's very cunty anyway which I appreciate

Straight up thought she killed this guy - what was that sound effect if he's still able to walk??? I fr thought she snapped his neck

IDK if we needed a whole 8 pages of punching and kicking to exposition dump what we kinda already knew from what's been shown in the lost years (esp the lost day special) but IT'S FINE IG... NOW ONTO THE BABIES

SORRY, SORRY. TEENAGERS NOW.

GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET. We're ALREADY getting the leo-v-raph adjacent dynamic with these two and I'm living for it. if one of them drops a stone cold 'fearless leader' jab i will lose my shit

HI? HELLO, EXCUSE ME, MIND-TALKING? PICTURES IN HEAD? ARE WE A FAMILY THAT LUCID DREAMS OR SOMETHING?!?? I DON'T REMEMBER THIS BEING SOMETHING THEY COULD DO?? every new speech bubble here is like a punch to the gut, wdym telepathy wdym secret lair wdym honouring everything master splinter taught you???? (although i'm proud that when this panel dropped on news sites i was immediately like THAT ISN'T THE KITCHEN FROM LOST YEARS. turns out it was a Secret Lair TM)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Seance -- TURTLES COUNT IT OFF!!

not gonna screenshot the whole backstory but they're basically doing a telepathic puppet show explaining the backstory and it's pretty much the mirage origins with a bit of extra tlr flair. as always it HURTS ME seeing the turtles dying so thanks for that tlr2 :'')) icb these kids watch a mind movie of their uncles dying every fucking night. yall are messy

SOBBING AND CRYING,, I WISH YOU'D ALL HAD THE CHANCE TO KNOW HIM TOO!!!!!! I WISH YOU'D GOTTEN TO KNOW ALL OF THEM!!!!! (tlr splinter doesnt count tho because hes a dick)

there was a cool sequence of them rooftop hopping n stuff but i wont cover it bc we already saw it in a bunch of news articles weeks ago

i just did the SHARPEST INHALE. casey marie you and your beautiful muscular arms have aged like the finest wine

YI NO!!!!!

lmaooo moja is JUDGING your taste in women u two

lots of text... blah blah blah jobs, crimerates, blah blah... jiro in pig uniform jumpscare.. casey marie i thought u were going to fix him :(((

YESSSSS KIDS ARE GOING ON A MISSION WITH THEIR MOM, LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

MY BABIES ARE KICKING ASS!!!!!

....,.HUH

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY BABY BOY ODIE!!!!!!!!!!! WHO DID THIS TO HIM!!!!!!???? WHAT??!???? HUH/1?!!? EXCUSE ME????

I'M . LIKE WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS. IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE??? WHAT IS GOING ON!!!

FINAL THOUGHTS:

dude that first issue was wordy but the kids were ON POINT. they were so fun!! their dialogue is fun and they kick ass.

i loved yi announcing the punishment for casey while the others were like NOO SHE DIDNT MEAN THAT DONT LISTEN TO HER. we're getting more of their personalities and it's great!! it was a nice throwback to issue 2 of lost years when they were cleaning - yi refused to help because of how strictly she was following instructions. im picking up that she might be neurodivergent but i did get that from the lost years too - only doing things within strict instructions, getting frustrated at teaching odyn chess, not because of him playing horseys with the knights but that it was Against The Rules Of Chess - and now not picking up on some social cues. It's nice to see!! I love her very much, but it feels like besides rehashing the origin story she took a bit of a backseat to the other three.

i want to know more about why uno said being a rebel was moja's 'thing', since she didn't seem to be any more rebellious than the other three in this issue. we didn't get any unique interactions between her and casey marie which is what i felt was lacking from lost years but i wonder if this is hinting towards a more turbulent mother-daughter dynamic with them... I REALLY HOPE SO!! her and uno butting heads in a leo-raph way is very fun - i don't mind one or two prior group dynamics leaking into the new turtle siblings because they're all so different from the original 4.

uno seems to be taking on slightly more of a leader role than moja so i think he won the title of fearless leader. which is fine, i think it'll be fun to see and he's definitely less of an asshole now than when he was growing up in lost years. still picking on odyn a bit but seems to snipe at moja just as much. even when he was commenting on yi's storytelling he didn't make fun of her, though - i think she may have inherited the 2k3 don ability of being Completely Unbullyable.

i was really pleased that odyn felt more involved!! i feel like he took the backseat a few times in lost years - it was fun seeing more of his personality shine through! he and yi seem to get on the best, and i giggled at them rolling their eyes at moja and uno's raph-leo schtick. i didn't expect him to TURN TO FUCKING STONE THOUGH, so i'm nervous about that. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHO DID THIS TO MY BOY? IS HE GOING TO TURN BACK NEXT CHAPTER OR IS HE OUT OF COMMISSION UNTIL THE END OF THE RUN??? (if it's the latter i'll be a bit annoyed - don't take odyn away from the equation please!!)

I do wonder if by introducing casually that they can PSYCHICALLY CONNECT, the turtles will use that as a technique to reach odyn's mind to make sure he's still in there and piece together what's happened to him. i mean, their casual telepathy has gotta be some sort of chekhov's gun right?

and shit.... april was so fucking mad casey took the babies out so she's going to EXPLODE when she finds out what happened to her baby boy, her beloved favourite, her baby odyn :''(( im giggling rubbing my hands together waiting for the fallout but also if she cries i might cry too. speaking of april, she seems to be working on a new project and i saw nano particles mentioned - are we going to have a roninverse version of nano in this run???? I NEED MY ROBOT SON

as always, casey marie... u have aged like fine wine. u are stunning. disappointed that ur still believing that jiro can do good as a cop when their entire police force and government is corrupt as fuck. just feels very naive of her. i'm excited to see her break down at the concept of losing odyn - in fact i need everyone to mourn this beautiful kid. they tell us so much that shes a super clingy helicopter mom and i am picking up on the strict part, but it would be nice to see more of her just... hugging her kids. holding them. i get why she didnt in this issue but id love more mama casey squishing their cheeks and kissing their foreheads.

i have zero fucking clue what's going on with odyn. im wondering if it's somehow related to nano, or to whatever project April is working on - she says it's to do with clearing the tunnels, but I''m not convinced. who knows, there might be some ulterior motive happening.

Anyway, that's the end of my liveblog!! thanks for reading all the way to the end... go read it wherever you read ur comics!!!

[mattslolita]

update bout the boy!

first off whoever tf called u a pedo needs to CALM TF DOWNNN. uve been 18 for like a couple weeks anyway, im pretty sure talking to a minor (IN A NORMAL WAY U DIPSHIT ANON) is not a big issue here!🤣🤣if they r that bothered they needa jump off tumblr and stop coming for ppl they dont know! also sturnihoe needs to relax a bit, like BE SO FR chris wouldnt even look in her direction an neither would matt 😉🤗

ANYWAYY!! so we went out to go buy a dress for me and some other makeup bits cuz u can never hav too much makeup 😙and i tried about 3 on. the first one was blue with pearls near the sleeves but the fit was like CRAZYYY BIG. in the end i tried on a pink one and he said i looked "beautiful" 🤭 so i bought that one, he said he would pay but i told him id not go if he did 😊🤣 thennn we went to pandora to buy the charm for his mum. its literally so pretty its this one:

https://uk.pandora.net/dw/image/v2/BFCR_PRD/on/demandware.static/-/Sites-pandora-master-catalog/default/dwe866e5ae/productimages/singlepackshot/791476C01_RGB.jpg?sw=900&sh=900&sm=fit&sfrm=png&bgcolor=F5F5F5

yeah then us an two of our friends came round to his for like 3 hours, my friend kept playing some weird ass tiktok sound and we were CRYING it was unbelievably funny, i tried to find it but i cant now. 😭😭😭

then we were sat on his bed and my friend was like "lets play truth or dare, and before u say no im telling u now ill set fire to u all" AGRESSIVE MUCH LMFAO?! so ofc when he said dare his friend was like "kiss *myname* or u hav to kiss me" LMFAOOOO THEN HE WENT "not gonna kiss u bc if u havent noticed im actually not gay! and im not gonna kiss her in front of u all thats weird as shit" and my friend said "SO YOUD KISS HER WHEN WE R NOT HERE" and he went "and what" NO WTFFFFFFFFFFF!?!?!?! HE JUS SAYS IT SO NORMALLY LIKE HUH??????? GONNA CRY HES SO CRAZY! 🫢🫠🫠🫠😋😋

oh and at schl he gave me his coat🤗 cuz i dint bring mine and it was POURING it down, like i thought it was nearly summer 😒😒

STOPPPP UR GONNA GET ME STARTED AGAIN LMFAOOOO she thought she ate when she said "at least my man has personality" I CACKLEDDDDDD

OH MY GOSHSH THE CHARMS SO PRETTY AND HE CALLED U BEAUTIFUL HELLO ??????????

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. HE BASICALLY WANTS TO KISS YOU OH MY GAWD. STAWP IF HE DOESNT MAKE HIS MOVE ON YOU IM ACTUALLY GOING TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE CAUSE WHAT THE FREAK. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

receiving the anons ab you & ur bf are lowk the best part of my day ngl☝ I LOVE YOUUU SM

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

So far what has been the worst thing about being pregnant?

oh so much, so equally.

sciatica, making it so i physically cannot walk without excruciating pain, but only at night when i need to get out of bed to piss. (thankfully i am not a type who needs to piss all the time. yet.)

acid reflux, a constant cold burn in my throat unfazed by tums but is ignorable if im constantly drinking something. so my stomach is always full of liquid, which makes the acid worse, so i have to keep drinking so i dont feel it.

i am So Fucking Hungry. “have less food more often! smaller, more frequent meals!” they say. “because your stomach will get smaller as baby grows!” i dont fucking think so babe. yes i can handle it. yes i know baby is growing rapidly and needs the nutrients and thats why my stomach is constantly growling. baby wants the entire meal, and baby wants another in two hours. pay up or perish. (by perish i mean my stomach will growl so loud you go deaf)

speaking of deaf, the sinus pressure has closed up one of my ears. it’ll go away after birth but the other ear has pulsatile tinnitus that i need surgery for because the sinus pressure and increased blood supply pushed my eardrum back, and i need a replacement prosthetic of some bone in my ear that isnt doing its job.

speaking of sinuses, there’s so much fucking blood in my body that sinus pressure causes nosebleeds, a common pregnancy issue. however, because of allergies i already had prior, my sinuses keep all the blood clotting up inside my sinuses. and because of acid reflux, i’m constantly spitting, so it never has time to settle and properly bleed. instead i cough, snort, and spit up 5-8 BLOOD CLOTS. FROM MY SINUSES. per day. some darker and heavier, most smaller and less dense. i am constantly creating suction pressure in my throat to dislodge blood clots from my nasopharynx. i am always snorting.

my tits are disgusting. i have lymphedema in the breasts, rather uncommon, and it has been completely mimicing the symptoms of breast cancer without having any lumps or actual tumors to show for it. anywhere. they’re simply an angry warm red, feel like an orange peel, hard as dried playdough, and the consistency of a memory foam mattress.

“yr areolas will darken uwu!”

and thats just what i hate the MOST.

things that just annoy me include:

always feeling both exhausted and like i NEED to clean everything. everything. all the time. im noticing dirt and mess that i’ve never seen before in my life. im rewashing perfectly clean items because im not the one who washed them initially.

nesting feels itchy. im exhausted midway through organizing the entire bathroom but i Have To keep going. its compulsive. it feels like an actual rat in my brain trying to claw its way out. and i struggle so badly to ignore it because half the shit i want to do cant be done until mid april. and it’s been scratching at me since like january. it kind of hurts.

also i love kicks but the rolls and swishes feel fucking gross, it feels like there’s a goldfish in my stomach just flopping around nastily. it tickles in a gross way.

i have to sleep on a wedge pillow in addition to my C pillow. both help immensely, but im so blocked off from davyn and it makes me sad. i have to tear my little nest apart if i want to cuddle, and then i can’t for very long because he lays down flat, and the aggravates my acid really badly.

horribly vivid dreams. ive never felt more disturbed by my dreams than i have the past few weeks. it feels so real, nothing like a normal weird dream. the concepts are strange but the environment is so convincing. and it’s usually nightmares.

im really forgetful now and its kind of scary. like genuinely scary because it feels like im losing my mind and its bringing up a lot of... gaslighty trauma from when i was a teenager. sometimes my memory is as perfect as usual, sometimes i forget what just came out of my mouth two seconds ago. davyn is really patient when i get scared.

and i have it relatively easy.

i dont have gestational diabetes, which would necessitate an entirely new diet that i KNOW i wouldnt be able to sustain.

i don’t have blood clots, so i dont have to take those awful shots that bruise the injection site so terribly(i took them after my knee surgery, i switched to warfarin because i couldnt stand the shots anymore after only a week).

i dont have cervical insufficiency, which runs in my family and would necessitate a much higher level of care.

i dont have an Rh incompatibility with my baby, which would necessitate a higher level of care but also one of the most painful shots you can get in pregnancy. in the ass cheek.

i didnt have morning sickness AT ALL, just occasional nausea and not even consistently. some people puke multiple times a day and struggle eating anything. for the entire duration.

i don’t have tons of emotional outbursts, i had one breakdown about davyn eating my banana, one about davyn saying “the pillow is my girlfriend now” because i fixated on the word girlfriend, one because i left soda in the freezer and it exploded, and i cry easily over touching youtube videos a little more easily. thats it. 3 breakdowns and a tender heart. over the past 7 months.

i have it quite easy, and most of all im doing this on purpose.

i’ll say it again every time: reproductive choice is a hill i will happily die on. absolutely fucking nobody deserves any of this, least of all people who don’t know its coming and didnt want it anyway.

i wanted this, and im doing it eagerly. i just also hate it and it sucks and im glad it’ll be over soon and i can have my screamy poopy wrinkly baby on the outside where i can actually LOOK at them and HOLD them and know the tangible fruits of my labor. feels like im wading through a sewer to reach some unknown treasure that im praying will still be there when i get to the end.

make sure your birth control timer is set properly. wrap yr meat. stay aware. etc.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 51 - Amazing technology - 'Human with modified skull'

K: Hi this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's  episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome.

T: And thank you too.

J: Ta-da! We are wearing it.

K: Hahaha

J: We are wearing it. This is naturally cool, isn't it?

T: Yes.

K: Um, if we don't say anything the viewers won't understand.

J: Uh, Tasai, could you explain?

T: Um, so this is another Tokyo Sports T-shirt collaboration. We are putting one out.

K: It was a hoodie before, right? 

T: Yes, that was a collaboration with Don Quijote. This time we've collaborated with the store Hardcore Chocolate in Higashinakano, to create this really cool tshirt.

K: I'm wearing it too.

T: Oh, thank you. Its a Core-choco × Tokyo Sports collaboration.

*clapping/cheering*

K: The back is nice too.

J: Yeah, I mean, I can't see it myself though. What is written on it?

T: Its past Tokyo Sports headlines. The black is pro-wrestling headlines, like 'Inoki's grand KO defeat'.....'Hansen...near murder' etc.

J: Wow.

T: These shocking headlines are...

J: All over?

T: Yes, all over it. And as for the front, Joe, could you turn around?

J: Yes.

T: Those are copies of Tokyo Sports tied up with string, just on the verge of being thrown away, giving a kind if melancholic feel.

J: Ahh, this is cool too.

T: Its very Tokyo Sportsy.

K: Are the white and back versions different?

T:  Yes, they are different.

J: Ah! They are different?

K: The white one has 'Matsui' written on it.

T: Matsui's wedding.

J: Oh yeah.

K: This black one says, 'Brody'.

J: Pro-wrestling?

T: Yes, its mainly pro-wrestling. And the white is showbiz...

J: Sports and showbiz? Oh, so it is.

T: 'Elvis lives' and so on.

J: This is great...ah..'The Monster with 21 faces'!

K: Its nostalgic, isn't it?

T: Yeah, this type of thing.

J: Ahh..of course...Ah, shocking photos.

K: 'Discovery of Kappa'....'Madonna had hemorrhoids' haha.

K, J, T: Hahaha.

J: Does it really matter? haha.

T: Haha, that was about one time a long time ago when Madonna came to do a show in Japan. She requested a bidet toilet, so we reckoned maybe its because she had hemorrhoids.

J: Just from that? You put this headline with it?

K: Your info is thin!

T: Haha.

J: Right?! Zero fact checking! Guess after guess!

K: Incredible. So, there are two of these.

J: What should we do with them?

T: Well, I thought we could make them presents for the people who always watch The Freedom of Expression.

J: Ohhh! *claps*

K: There is black and white.

J: One of each?

T: Yes.

K: The size is S.

J: S?

K: Joe is wearing M, I'm wearing XL. Anyone who wants a big one..

J: Please but it.

K: Yes. For people who want S...um, what should we do...you could leave a comment on my Twitter..

T: With your thoughts on this show.

J: Of course.

T: Yes.

K: Yeah.

T: And we could choose one from those.

J: Leave a decent comment..

T: Like which was your favourite episode or something?

J: Ahh, you know how to do this!

K: Joe, its just that you're always drunk.

J: I'm always drunk, haha. When I see Tasai, Im learning how to conduct myself.

T: Excuse me brother, thank you very much.

J: Your stocks will rise with this tshirt. Yours and Tokyo Sports' stocks.

T: I hope so.

K: Everyone will be cool wearing this.

J: They really will be cool.

K: Please buy it, really.

J: If someone wanted to buy this, where do they get it from?

T: Probably online. You can buy it on Corechoco's site.

J: I see.

K: Ok, so today's story is a Tokyo Sports selection.

J: Its a Tokyo Sports day today.

T: A Tokyo Sports produced story...

The headline is 'Will we rise up in 2021? - Amazing technology, human with modified skull'. As for the content of the story, it asks what new technology will appear in the year 2021, and its by our science writer Hisano, who wrote about some of the things he'd heard.

J: Oh, so he's done it properly?

T: Yes. So firstly, well, we hear a lot about this A.I. deepfake problem at the moment, don't we? Like changing faces without permission, and making these made-up sexy images which cause harm, for example. *1

J: Yeah, its the basis of fake news, right?

T: We are hearing about that more and more, thats the first thing. Secondly, there is apparently this idea called, 'Trans-human' where people power up their own body with technology, and Hisano wondered whether Trans-human technology with develop a lot during this year. Specifically, well, there is actually someone doing this in Spain, Manel de Aguas. He peeled back the skin on his head and attatched self-mafe fin shaped devices to his skull. The fins contain a bone conducting oscillator and temperature sensor, so he can tell if the weather is hot or cold through vibrations in his head. So, this is a way to catch very small atmospheric changes that regular people wouldn't normally be able to sense.

J: I see.

T: And there are pictures of him, so please take a look.

J: If you go to the Tokyo Sports website?

T: Yes, you can see it there. Furthermore, well, there are quite a lot of other examples, like a 'trans-human' using prosthetics, or having an IC chip implanted into your hand to use for the train etc. On top of that, France has plans to make a conscription army like this. The name  of the project is 'The Bionic Soldier Project', which is a really cool name. They would be like super strong soldiers who never got tired and didn't need sleep, and who could heighten their sight and hearing with medication, and would have communication equipment embedded in their brains to connect directly to wireless  netwoks. Bionic soldiers..scary, right?

J: Yeah. Its like the end to the era of traditional fighting.

T: Research has been going on even longer America, in their Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, where paralyzed patients have had chips embedded in their brain, and have successfully been able to control drones with their thoughts. They've already done that. Even bedridden people can control drones. Technology his also being developed to go without sleep for 48 hours by running electric currents through the brain. This is not the talk of dreams, we are closing in on these things. There is also a plan by Nasa, a mission to redirect asteroids, where a robot spaceship would grab an asteroid, carry it over to the moon's orbit, and dig up minerals from it. Its like the world of Gundam. What do you think of this for 2021?

J: So, like these might become a reality within this year?

T: Yeah, some of them, as far as the technology goes.

K: It'll be like Robocop.

T: Yeah.

K: Its incredible, its like the world of 'Terminator'.

J: Yeah, it is.

T: In reality, controling a drone with the brain is aleady being used in China with toys.

J: With the brain..?

T: Like, controlling it with your thoughts by just imagining it rising. And in Japan..

J: You have to operate it.

T: In Japan they can be controlled with radio waves *2, but in China they can already move drones around using brain waves. Like, its technologically possible to attatch a bomb to a drone and make it fly somewhere and explode...its scary.

J: If technology advances this far, people won't need to study for exams and stuff, will they?

T: Thats right.

J: With a chip embedded...we talk about preventing cheating these days, but you would have all that data within you, or you could just go outside and remotely update.

K: Or you could send questions with just your eyes and get answers back.

J: Yeah, its like already at the point where you don't have to bother with tests or exams.

K: And it would mean no more back entrance admissions.

T, J: Yeah.

J: Yeah, like whoever has the money.

T: They might starts scanning people with metal detectors when they do exams to see if they have chips or something in them. Like, have you got a chip in your brain?? If it beeps, you'll know they have a chip.

K: They could put the people who have chips inside like anti-vibration shields..

J: Yeah, like to stop the transmissions.

T: Oh, yeah.

J: We're already getting to this point in time.

T: Do we even need to study anymore?

J: Yeah, like the era of people using their brains is ending.

K: We don't even really need universities and stuff anymore

J: We don't! Cause you have have access to all the information in the world in your head, whenever you like.

K:Yeah, if you have it ???*3

J: Well, there's also the issue of whether this kind of thing will be permitted by law. Like how far..

K: Yeah, it wouldn't be allowed immediately.

J: Yeah, like how far can human ability be harnessed in this way. I mean, there is the problem of genetic engineering too, but..thats where we are at now.

K: Well, there might already be people like this out there.

J: Well, yeah, the technology is there already.

K: You don't know whats going on in other peoples' heads.

J: Well, yeah. Eh, what if Kami is one of them?

K: No, I don't think he is. Absolutely not.

J: Haha

Kami: No, gods are different. But the bionic soldiers who don't need sleep, never get tired, and use medication to improve their sight and hearing...they've been around in Nishinari for a long time.

K: In Nishinari?

J: Haha

Kami: People who look like zombies, there have always been tonnes of them. There is also an article about a 'robot girlfriend to go for a walk with you', which Gifu University made, I'm interested  in that. I'd like to support Gifu University with that.

T: I see. Yeah, its a robot girlfriend who holds your hand and goes for walks with you, made by Gifu University.

K: What did Kami say earlier about women, doesn't he have woman trouble?

J: Oh yeah. Kami, don't women like you, being a god?

Kani: Thats a whole different story. Um, this is just a hand holding robot, but I'd like them to try harder with more in-depth research on this.

K: In-depth research? Haha

J: I don't know what he means by that. Kami!!

K: I mean, if they've been able to make the robot to this level, Im pretty sure they can also manage 'in-depth' research. haha.

J: They just won't announce it as university research, they stopped at holding hands.

Kami: Ah, I see. I wanna support deepfake technology too.

K: Ha, you wanna support it.

T: Well, this type of technology was originally invented for mens' pleasure. New technology can even start from such places. Like videos...

K: Ah, yeh, popular people from videos turned up a lot in this erotic stuff (*Sorry if I got this wrong*)

J: Ahh, yes, necessity is the mother of invention. Technology increases due human desires.

T: Yeah, thats it.

J: Well, this could be used for evil ways, or for more interesting ways. There are various ways to use it. Kaoru is there any kind of technology that you ever wanted to invent?

K: That I wanted to invent?

J: Like a specific type of robot or anything like that?

T: If you had a chip in your brain though, and you didn't have to study, what would you do?

K: But if all this stuff becomes normal, I think on the contrary, will might start to want to do things in more detail again. When you can get anything effortlessly, you will start to want to do those things that don't come effortlessly.

J: Ahh, hand made things will become nostalgic.

K: Our sense of value would change. People will want to go out and do things...if you can get everything you need without ever going out. And with food, it will be all there, ready as soon as you open the cupboard, right?

J: Yeah

K: Like, wouldn't you feel like going out instead?

T: Yeah, you'd want to go out and see live performances and stuff too.

K: People were told not to go out on New Years eve, but so many people still went out. haha

T: Oh, yeah.

J: Yep, human mentality just goes like that.

K: People will still go out. So, I think thats the direction it will head.

T: A.I. is pretty popular in human competions at the moment, for example with Shōgi, but in the end, what people really want to see is a human competing with another human.

J: Yes, I think thats true.

K: Yeah, its those natural variations

J: Thats it, we need those. Its that type of thing  that is impossible to calculate.

K: A computer couldn't come up with this type of thing. (*holds up Tokyo Sports tshirt*)

T: Haha

K: Its a product of wild fantasies.

T: Hahaha

J: Yeah, that would be impossible.

T: If we let A.I. do this kind of thing we would have lost. Tokyo Sports would be finished.

K: A.I. couldn't make this.

J: Its incredible.

K: 'Human gives birth to frog'.

J: Haha, A.I. could never write this.

K: It probably couldn't, right?

J: Only some bombed out person could do it otherwise.

K: It was worth making, naturally Tokyo Sports.

T: Oh, thank you.

K: So, everyone, please buy one of these tshirts. We have a black and white in size S here, so please send a tweet. Ok, we'll finish here this week. Please subscribe, thank you very much.

*1, 2 Not sure its exactly right.

*3 Couldn't figure out

Back to top page

[witchie-writings]

Hi! I recently found your blog and I'm obsessed with it <3! Is it possible that you write a headcanon of Carter A-259 similar to what you did with John/Jerome/Emile in which he noticed that the reader is fighting with a Spartan and is losing? It'll mean a lot... I know I already said it but... Love your bloooooog! <3 <3

did i expect for this to  be four pages long? no, do i have a problem with it? also no because i guess im a Carter simp (ironically i was going to add Carter in the last post, but I got lazy and didn’t do him lma o... and theres no good gifs of carter that’s an actual crime)

hope you enjoy, more under the cut!

Carter A-259

> Carter is absolutely seething once the news of your duel reached the conference; however, despite the anger coursing through his veins, he remains stoic and was quick to dismiss his presence from the room to handle the situation

> Originally he had ordered Kat to take his place on the call, but she defiantly refused to allow Carter to go on his own. Your life not only mattered to him, but to the entirety of Noble Team as well - you had integrated yourself amongst their ranks, and soon, blossomed into a cherished family member 

> As a result Kat hastily reschedule the call regardless of the protest she'll hear later before she followed her leader to the site of the fight - Jorge, Emile and Jun followed suit, already readying themselves to pulverize the deemed threat 

> Those that were passing through the same corridors as Noble Team could feel the ground rumble at the heavy duty armor the spartans wore pound against the floor - to the witnesses, it was like a small stampede trampling through 

> Carter was swift to arrive at the scene along with his team members, but his blood began to boil as heat suddenly rushed his skin in a scorching wave of anger 

> His first sight was your helpless form sprawled out against the ground; a pool of fresh crimson engulfed you, the opposing spartan hovered over you in a frightening display of dominance, an edged knife firmly held within their hands

> A fleeting second passed, before precise command filled the ears of the Noble team, "Jorge, Emile, restrain the spartan!"

> That's all it took for Nobles 4 and 5 to seize their given target, disarming them immediately and twisting their arms enough to pin them in place at each end

> Him, Kat and Jun hurried over to your body to check over your current condition; you were barely conscious, but when Kat carefully rolled you over onto your back for closer examination, a subtle cracking of a bone filled the air. You let out a sharp cry while Noble Two winced, quickly apologizing while she scanned your body for hidden injuries

> Jun was already calling for a medical team to arrive at the scene, occasionally throwing a worried glance towards your broken frame as he gave details on the incident

> Carter held your hand through the whole scanning; his gloved thumb brushed over your bruised knuckles tenderly, his icy sapphires keeping their gaze fixated on you while he attempted to keep your eyes open for moments longer. 

> He asked simple questions to keep your mind occupied, but made sure that they weren’t pestering for a specific answer: what was your name, gender, etc.

> All of what Carter said seemed fuzzy to you, though you answered the questions to the best of your ability without straining your already darkening mind 

> The medical team eventually came to take you to the medical bay to be treated; Carter, at first, was reluctant to let you go despite the necessity - it took some convincing from Kat, but ultimately he allowed your hand to escape his own

> On the other hand, the opposing Spartan was taken away to the brig courtesy of Jorge and Emile; Carter made sure that the bastard served his time… if he had his way, they would be on a exhilarating journey towards a Covenant base for the slaughter 

> During your time treated Carter buried himself in work to speed up the grueling passage of time. His mind raced with disastrous thoughts that his heart knew that simply wasn’t true - how you wouldn’t survive, crippled, forcibly resigned due to your injuries… it was difficult to shove them down into the darker crevices of his heart 

> Along with the hurricane followed a reminiscence period of the past - the famous Noble Leader found himself love-struck with you after your development as a compelling and achieving member of Noble. 

> His heart thundered wildly in his chest as the memories resurfaced, and he even found himself becoming flustered and covered his face to hide an embarrassed blush (what he was thinking of is entirely up to you)

> After a few more hours the news of the successful surgery allowed his mind to finally rest comfortably knowing you were safe and on the road to recovery 

> The following days he visited you frequently - or at least when he could. Every visit he noticed your smile becoming brighter and brighter, shimmering like a valley of gold amongst the sun. It made his heart do loops as he sat next to you, gently taking your hand as your discussions led to the current updates on Noble and the war between humanity and the Covenant 

> Of course you wanted to discuss more than simple war topics, so you opted to lead the conversation towards simple bickering between some UNSC members or the bewildering rumors that took the ship by storm 

> Carter… he could only really listen and throw his opinion in once and a while, he was never really the type to talk about anything but war tactics and the sort 

> Your recovery ended a week or two after the battle had ceased and you were combat ready, though Carter was semi-hesitant to allow you to do more dicey missions; he assigned you to do smaller missions before building your way up again

> He definitely is protective of you, preferring to stay by your side whenever possible but when the option is simply unavailable to him, he assigns Kat to be by your side as well

> Developed a few trust issues with other spartans outside of Noble - unless they are of a higher position than he is or significantly well-respected (such as the Master Chief), Carter always has a keen eye on them

> Finds a lot more comfort in holding your hand. It’s a nice way for him to show small amounts of affection while also reassuring him that you’re close 

> Dare I say Carter finds himself removing his helmet at random intervals (that doesn’t include being in the presence of superiors or in a conference/meeting) to gently press kisses against your forehead - you find that embarrassing sometimes, but it’s such a nice experience for you

[sapiowoman28]

Try (Chapter 6): Madam's Party

Pairing: Mark x Y/N x Johnny

Genre: smut, fluff, undercover au with cranky undercover agents

Warnings: mentions of Mark's mental health issues, brief mention of bathroom sex, drug use, Jaehyun is miserable, Doyoung is back, Taeyong saves the day, mentions of a fight. Oh, and Ten doesn't like women hitting on him.

Note: the next few chapters after this one and the next will focus more on the relationship between Johnny and Y/N as well as the dynamic between Doyoung and Y/N.

Mark watched the screen as his online payment went through. He had just booked his tickets for his trip to London. This time he planned to stay 2 weeks.

He had learned his lesson. That one time a year or two ago he stayed there for a month, and it was a total disaster. He came back with his head all messed up, panicking about life in general.

Then both Taeyong and Y/N convinced him to do some online therapy thing and things got better. He was in a better head space now. He was no longer a nervous wreck, overthinking his life and his future. But he kept his trips short. The London weather just didn't agree with him, and he didn't really enjoy the vibe there.

His phone beeped. He picked it up to see who had texted.

"Hey." it was Y/N. He missed his best friend terribly. But he wasn't sure if he was ready to talk.

"Hi." he replied after 2 minutes of staring at the message.

"You going for the party?"

"Yeah. With Kun and Lucas."

"I'm going too."

"With Doyoung?" he smiled to himself. "I heard he's going."

"Mark Lee! You never change do you?" he could imagine her looking exasperated. He giggled to himself.

Silence. He put his phone back down.

It dinged again a minute later. It was her.

"I should have used the safe word when you did what you did. Instead i just continued and got resentful. And made you leave after that."

"I should have been gentle.... I'm sorry Y/N."

"Maybe we need to talk about no go areas. Johnny thinks three of us should have dinner next week and talk. We're all new to this you know."

"I'm going to London next week. For two weeks."

"Can I go too? I really want to meet that weird uncle of yours who believes in aliens."

They ended up talking on the phone, catching up about life the past 2 weeks. Neither of them mentioned the incident again. The discomfort was still a little too fresh in their minds. But they were glad they were talking again.

The party was in full swing when Y/N arrived at half past 11. Yuta had indeed booked the entire VIP section and just about everyone was there. A small group of people had formed around Doyoung, fussing over him and his crutches and he was enjoying every bit of attention he was given. She rolled her eyes.

She wasnt sure if she was ready to face him yet. Their relationship had been terse since that incident where she punched him in the face during a heated argument. in the middle of an operation. in fact when Doyoung got into an accident during the next operation she was a little relieved he would be out for a while to recover. Now he was a little more mobile, it sure looked like he would be back sooner rather than later.

But having to deal with Taeyoung was worse. At least Doyoung recognised she was the best person to get advice on technology matters, and respected her recommendations. So maybe Doyoung being back would be a good thing. She decided to walk over. Doyoung had spotted her, and there was no escape now anyway.

"DDDDDDD!!!!!!" she shrieked excitedly hoping she was at least a little convincing.

"Oh my! Y/N! You are looking good! Must be the glow of love?" Doyoung winked as they hugged.

Stupid Taeyong. He couldn't ever stop talking about Johnny to everyone.

"I see Taeyong's told you."

"Yes, of course, he really really approves." Doyoung whispered. "I just hope you're behaving?"

Y/N sighed. The legacy of her and Mark was always going to be there. No escape. She wished they'd get over it for once. It only happened the first 6 months of her joining the unit. They had already declared each other as best friends a year ago. But everyone still insisted they had a thing for each other.

Some other person faked shrieked at Doyoung and she left as soon as she could, taking a seat at the bar to people watch, ordering a drink. She scanned the room, cursing silently as she saw Ten approaching.

She wasn't in the mood to talk about work now. He wasn't pleased with the first draft of her report, and wanted to make changes she didn't approve of. The guy had something stuck up his ass. It always had to be done his way, but it just wasn't always the best way to go about things.

"Hi my dear!" Ten gave her a kiss on both her cheeks. "Looking good! Heard from Taeyong you have a boyfriend now."

She was going to kill Taeyong.

"You look hot, Ten. I love your shirt! Are the girls throwing themselves at you again?" she grinned.

Ten grimaced. "I seriously don't want to talk about it."

"You're so handsome, I don't blame them you know." she pinched his cheek. He laughed.

"About the report you emailed me." he started.

"I saw your email. But i don't wanna talk about work tonight, Ten. Can we just have fun?" she pouted.

"Fine. I'll call you on Monday. Anyway i just came over to say hi and tell you how good you're looking. I've to go back to the guys. I've been tasked to keep an eye on Jaehyun tonight. He's being a little heavy with the drinking."

"I'm sorry, is this seat taken?" they turned to look. Mark.

"Hello stranger." Y/N grinned. Mark looked adoringly at her.

"I promise I won't tell anyone." said Ten, slipping away. "Your boyfriend won't ever find out!"

"What's wrong with him?" mark asked.

"He's been tasked with babysitting Jae."

"Oh man. Dude must be in a totally angsty mood now."

"Yeah this party isn't helping, you know. It's like Yuta rubbing in his face, 'I got a promotion, Jaehyun! I got a promotion! Yay!!!'"

"And you're drinking?" he tasted her gin and tonic. "You can't even handle the alcoholic content of Kombucha."

"Mark Lee! I swear to god! I was not tipsy on Kombucha that time. You need to stop telling that story to everyone. I can hold my liquor!" Y/N faked strangled him as he giggled.

Their eyes met. And the laughing stopped.

"I missed you." he said.

"You were the one who refused to talk to me. For two fucking weeks, Mark Lee! Two weeks!" she chided.

"You didn't talk to me either."

"I wanted to give you space."

"Thanks. I needed time to think."

"Are you done thinking?"

"Yeah.

"What's the conclusion."

"I agree with you guys that we need to discuss no-go areas. We can do that when I'm back."

"Ok. As long as your mind is not fucked up like that time... "

"It was just one time, Y/N! Just one time!"

"I'm just teasing you baby. Im glad therapy has helped you feel more grounded." She smiled. "I'm proud of your progress you know."

"I miss you calling me baby." he grabbed her hand.

"Mark, people are watching. I bet Kun's watching us now." she scanned the room, catching Kun's eye at the other side of the bar where he was with Lucas and Doyoung. Kun, realising he had been caught watching, looked away after shaking his head.

"Idiot." she cursed. "Maybe we should put on a show to irritate him."

Mark giggled.

"I can't believe Lucas and Doyoung are hanging out." Y/N nudged Mark, whose eyes grew huge upon realising that they were indeed siting together.

"Lucas fucking hates him, yo!"

"Well Doyoung doesn't like Lucas much either. Which makes this funny."

"Half the people here don't like the other half. They're all pretending."

"So are you pretending to like me too Mark Lee?"

"What do you think, Y/N?"

"You love me." she grinned.

"Well you love me too." he winked then stiffened. This conversation was getting odd. Y/N looked away.

They spent the evening in a comfortable silence, watching the party get rowdier and rowdier as more people joined. Some people started to bring out the magical stuff and it was downhill from there.

Y/N knew she was done for the night when she needed the rest room, only to enter it and find Yuta with his lady bent over the sink, him screwing her. She froze, they stopped to look at her, eyes dilated from whatever drug they had taken.

"Er. Hi guys!" she chirped awkwardly.

"Y/N!!!" Yuta exclaimed excitedly as Madam giggled. "Hi Y/N!"

"Bye!" she grinned.

she turned around stomping off. She needed to pee. Badly. There was only one person who could help her.

"Taeyong!" She yelled as she stomped towards him. He was talking to Mark and Taeil. All three of them looked at her.

"Hmm. Someone looks crossed." Taeyong teased. She wasn't in the mood for teasing.

"I need to pee urgently, but your two best friends are in there screwing. You're the only person who can sort this out, Tae! Please, put your tyrant nature to good use?"

Mark laughed hysterically as Taeil shook his head and smiled.

"Your wish is my command, Miss Y/N" Taeyong laughed before strding to the female restroom to scare them out.

"And you thought your unit was dysfunctional." Taeil said to Y/N who burst out laughing.

Taeyong came back after completing his task, and Y/N raced to the washroom, glad to finally be able to pee. She washed her hands, and was touching up her lipstick when she heard Mark's voice.

"Er. Y/N?" He stood at the door awkwardly.

"Mark, what the heck?"

"I think we should leave. A fight broke out."

"what happened?"

"I think Jaehyun challenged Yuta to a fist fight."

Y/N sighed. Maybe Taeil was right about his unit. And yes, it was time to call it a night. But she was hungry.

"Supper?" she asked Mark. His eyes lit up as he nodded his head.

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Hawks was feeling somewhat guilty

He had been seeing you for a while now but your relationship was never offical

At least that was his understanding

So because of that he had a lot of other flings on the side beside you

Did he spend more time with you than the others? Yeah but that was only because you were so cool

but the two of you weren't exclusive

Or so he thought the both of you knew

But he started to think you werent under the same impression

After one night when you came to his house and the two didnt have sex and instead you just talked

It wasnt bad

But it wasn't what he was into

He didnt know how to exactly tell you he wasnt looking for anything other than a friends with benefits

But at the same time he felt he shouldnt care that much and you'd figure it out yourself eventually

You were pretty smart

But all that changed one day when he was on a dating site looking for a hookup

And happened to see your profile

It wasnt an issue that you had a profile

You could do whatever you wanted

What was the issue was when he went to your profile

It read that you were single and you had just been active about 10 minutes ago

You were technically right

And hawks knew he shouldnt care

But something about that annoyed him

You had just been together last night

He tried to think nothing of it

But later that week when he went to your place it was still in the back of his head

And when he was laying there on you bed and saw you were just on your phone typing away

All he could do was wonder who were you talking too?

He didnt say anything to you but he was still feeling uneasy about the whole thing

But it wasnt any of his business so he shouldn't care

You werent in a exclusive relationship right? And you knowing that was should make this eaiser

But he did care

His uneasy went on for weeks

Hed find himself constantly looking at your dating site profile seeing how often you were active

Which was way more than he liked

Hell it would be like an hour right after the two of you would be together if that

It was than that he got his own idea

And made a fake account to talk to you

It was mostly out of curiosity and jealousy that he'd never admit to

But he wanted to know just how far youd take it with someone else

It would be another night after you had had sex and you were on your phone again

That he pulled out his own phone

And go back to the dating sight to send you a message under a fake profile

-what are you doing? he asked you

And when you replied with nothing keigo could only squint his eyes at you

-wanna hook up tonight? He asked next

And when you said sure he couldnt believe it

You would turn to him

"Imma head out now." And you would actually get your things and leave

Putting him in shock

What type if sexual deviant were you??

Was he not enough?

Since when wasnt he enough?

He had too many questions about this

He'd send you a place to met

Hawks felt like he needed to confront you about this

You were supposed to think you were that the two of you were in a relationship

And now he felt...well used

You would get to the bar pretty eailer since it actually wasnt that far from Keigo's place

You thought keigo was nice

But you didnt think he wanted a relationship

So you never tired to pursue anything more then what you already had

Plus you liked your life of dating and hookups

You got to meet some pretty cool people that way including keigo

It would be while you were sitting at the bar that someone cleared their voice behind you

You'd expect to see the guy you had been talking to but instead it was keigo

"Oh hey, did i leave something at your place?"

"No. You didnt." He answered irritation clearly in his voice

"Oh. Well im busy at the moment waiting on a friend." You told him

Keigo couldn't believe you

"Oh really?"

You nodded, "mmhmm."

"Would their name happened to be [his fake account]?"

"How'd you know?" You asked unfazed

"Because its me!" He told you finally having enough

You laughed, "its you?"

"Yes its me! How could you go be going out with someone else?"

Now you were a bit confused, "I'm sorry? Am i not allowed?"

"No were-" keigo realized what he was saying and knew he didnt have a right to be mad at you

So he took a deep breath, "I guess- you can't-" he was trying to figure out how he really felt

"I'd like it if you didnt see other guys." He finally spoke up

You raised your eyebrow, "oh?"

"Maybe we should try...like a closed relationship..."

You were amused with Keigo's stuttering

And you were honestly a bit surprised that he would go this far just to ask you that

You honestly didn't have a problem with dating him

He had proven to be a nice guy when it came down to it and he was really funny at time

This whole event proving it futher

With a smile you shook your head, "You're werid...but sure a real relationship might be fun."

[pbandjesse]

Today was a good day. And I am very glad to be home. I missed my bed, even if I like the one at my parents more. Its my old bed and I just prefer foam over springs. But emotionally I am pleased to be in my bed.

I slept really well last night surprisingly. But I was woken up by my phone going crazy right after 7. Apparently this morning, early, someone threw a big rock through the glass front door of our building. James found it and everyone was freaked out. James and Robin worked on cleaning it up while Albert called Tina and she headed there as soon as she got the call. James called the police and took care of everything and made the reports and stuff. Wild. We were all joking in the chat though that we had to dust the rock for prints. And that it was an inside job. It was all very silly but it was silly because we were all upset I think. It is scary to think someone would break into our home?? So scary.

I got up and got dressed and found mom wasn't doing great. Her poor face was all swollen and she didn't feel good. She would eventually call the dentist but for now I just sat in bed with her until dad asked me to go to breakfast with him.

So I headed out with him. He drove my car just to see and it was nice spending some time with him. The cashieer at the coffee shop loved my whole look and that made me feel nice about myself. We got breakfast. I had berry crepes and dad had banana waffles. And it was just nice spending time with him. I missed him.

We headed back home because we weren't sure if he had to take mom to the dentist. But she wasn't able to get an appointment until later in the day. So I texted Jess and headed over to her place.

We figured out that the air mattress I had fits perfectly in the car!! Like I was super surprised and happy about this. So we laid in there to see how that works and I was pretty pleased.

We put everything back in the car and headed inside.

We figured out all of our camp site stuff for next week. The one camp site was surprisingly expensive but the other was very cheap so it evened out to be reasonable all around. And I feel slightly better about the trip. I still feel stress but it will be okay. Im mostly worried about missing James.

I left Jess's place and went to the Restore to buy a photo album. Got a little cow mug. And texted my brother. He said he would be over around 2. We had some weird text miscommunications but we figured it out.

I headed back to the house and sat in the livingroom with dad. While we both watched our own things. It was nice.

When Steve came over we all sat with mom in her room. It was nice hanging out and talking about stuff. Eventually me and Steve went outside to look at my new car. And it was just nice having him there. He is so busy with his ever growing family. But Im grateful that he made an effort to come see me while I was in town.

After Steve left I collected all my stuff and got ready to head back to Baltimore. I hugged mom and dad and said goodbye to the dogs and I was off.

I stopped for french fries and a soda. And Im glad I did. I was starving by the time I got back here. But it was a nice ride. I really enjoyed my podcasts and I only had like 5 minutes of traffic to deal with. It was mostly just chill and a nice ride. But I was hungry.

I thought about stopping but I really just wanted to go home. I got back here around 630. Made great time honestly. Our Landlady Tina was here and she told me we have two locks on our door now so that is neat but it might be an issue with our mail so were figuring that out. The glass was already fixed though so that's good.

Me and Tina talked for a few minutes. She told me to tell James thank you for taking care of everything this morning. And then I went inside.

James was on a call so I left them alone and put things away. Hugged on sweetP. And then once they were off the call we had a big hug and it was so nice. I missed them so much.

We made some food and cleaned up the apartment a little. Put things away. I texted with Jess about camp clothes. And found my black pants are missing. So I got to find those. But its all good.

James started playing dnd and I got a shower. I feel good being in bed. I am ready to sleep though. I feel very very tired.

I hope tomorrow is a productive day. Sleep well everyone. Goodnight!!

[lustinglilac]

Heart to Heart

A/N: In which Pope’s sister goes on a terrible date and finds herself at Benny’s doorstep minutes later...

Warnings: none, Benny being soft??? 

Pope had always been protective of his sister; she was younger than him, though not by much, she was beautiful, and she had a charming personality. It was hard not to love her, and that’s what made Pope’s job as an older brother much harder.

He let her have her own space and her own life, of course, but he always kept a watchful eye out for the few men she dated. Tonight was another one of those nights where he watched her frantically get ready for yet another night out.

“Tiago— don’t look at me like that.” She huffed, catching his stare in the mirror as she put on her earrings and checked her lipstick.

“You already know I don’t like the guy, he doesn’t really have a great reputation.” Pope speaks lowly, following her out of her bedroom, handing her her coat.

“Because he beat you in pool that one time?” She raised an eyebrow at his offended expression. “Give him a chance, he’s not as bad as you think.“

Sighing loudly, he agreed to drive her down to the restaurant they’d be meeting at. Pope didn’t understand why her date couldn’t just pick her up but if he was being honest, he’d rather make sure she got there safe himself.

She looked out the window, a familiar house catching her eye, “Hey! Isn’t that Benny and Will’s place?” She pointed to the house on the corner and sure enough it was.

“Yeah, they don’t live too far from here.” Pope answered her, making one final turn at the corner. “Well, here you are. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all.” Pope leaned over to kiss her on the cheek as she returned the favor, squeezing his hand assuringly. She stepped out into the breezy night, fixing her hair and texting her date that she’d arrived. She settled into the booth and waited, glossing over the menu.

He responded eventually... about fifty minutes later. She sat by herself in the booth as the waitress refilled her water for the third time.

“How are you finding everything, miss?” She didn’t miss the waitress’ sympathetic tone as she stared up at her with an unreadable expression.

“He’ll be here soon.” She tried to reassure herself more at this point rather than the waitress who was getting just as angsty that she didn’t have customers to serve.

“Hey— sorry I’m late! I’m here!” A gust of wind followed his arrival as he whirled past the waitress and slid into the booth across from her.

She couldn’t look him in the eye, clenching her jaw, “Where were you?” She spoke cautiously, looking at him through her lashes.

“Takin’ care of some business, babe, relax. I’m here now, right?” He smiled, completely shrugging her off and taking a sip of water.

Her eyes caught sight of the faded lipstick mark on his neck just below the collar of his shirt, his usually neatly styled hair had been tousled like he’d just gotten out of bed, it clicked in her head that he’d definitely been taking care of business inside of someone else’s bed right before their date.

“I think I’m gonna go—“ She maneuvered her body out of the booth but not before throwing a stack of tissues at his face, “Might wanna wipe the lipstick off your neck.” She spat, storming out of the restaurant, all eyes on her and the man who’d turned out to be just what her brother said he was.

He didn’t bother running after her, he knew he’d screwed up. He sat frozen in the booth, slamming his hand down on the table out of frustration.

Tears blurred her vision as her legs picked up speed; she was headed for the only safe place on the corner of the street, Benny’s house. She contemplated on calling Pope but she knew he’d freak out like always. She didn’t wanna hear it from him, not right now at least.

Benny was inside, lounging on the couch, screaming profanities at his TV as he watched yet another MMA match for the hundredth time that week.

She’d made it to his door, ringing the bell twice, Benny muting the TV and getting up to answer. The last thing he expected was to have his heart broken that night at the site of the younger Garcia crying on his doorstep.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Where’s Pope? Is Pope okay?” She was bombarded by a series of questions upon entering, to which she merely shook her head.

“No, Benny— I was on a date and it wasn’t going well so I didn’t wanna call Santiago and—“ She clung onto his t-shirt, barely containing her tears at this point.

His arm wrapped around her, holding her close to him as he rubbed comforting circles onto her back, “You’re okay.” He spoke softly into her hair.

Will had heard the bell and opened his bedroom door, “Yo Benny, who is it?” His voice bellowed.

“Nobody!” Benny’s chest rumbled against her temple as she sobbed quietly, trying to not alert the older Miller. Benny rested his chin on top of her head, standing there for a moment in the doorway.

“This is s-so stupid.” She sniffled and let go of him for a second to wipe the tears off of her cheeks, “And I got makeup on your shirt.” She whispered, face to face with his mascara stained t-shirt.

“Don’t say that. It’s not stupid, you did the right thing.” Benny assured her, placing a finger under her chin to tilt her head up to meet his blue eyes.

She looked so vulnerable, so different, not like her usual self with the teasing glint in her eye whenever she’d insult him jokingly.

“Come on, let’s go sit.” He slowly led her to the couch he’d been sitting on minutes ago, TV completely abandoned as he had bigger issues facing him right now. He wanted nothing more than to find the asshole who’d dare to even look at her the wrong way and beat him to a pulp.

She sat on the plush couch, toeing off her boots, tucking her legs under her and grabbing the nearest pillow hugging it to her chest, “I can’t tell Tiago.” It dawned on her that he was right after all, the guy had been a lowlife and had no intention of going steady with her.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t but, you kinda should. I get it, he overreacts. He’s your older brother, I mean, shit happens.” Benny sat facing her, carefully listening and replying to what she had to say.

She huffed, “Okay, just— just give me a minute. I don’t want him to know I was crying.”

Benny would be right next to her as she spoke to her brother, he could hear Pope trying to keep a level head on the other end as the broken hearted girl sitting next to him tried not to cry all over again.

“I’ll be there soon— don’t go anywhere.” Pope’s muffled voice spoke as she opened her mouth to reply.

“Tell him I can drive you home. If you want.” Benny offered silently, gesturing for her to continue.

“Benny said he could drop me off if that’s okay with you?” She toyed with a loose thread on the pillow, awaiting his answer.

Pope sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose on his end, “Fine. Sure. Don’t be out too late.” He commanded.

“I won’t, I’ll be home soon. I love you?” It came out as more of a question than a statement.

“Te quiero.” Pope breathed out, hanging up the phone after she had nothing to respond with.

Benny nudged her softly, “See? Wasn’t so bad.” He smiled, hoping she would smile back at him to at least let him know she was okay.

“Benny, you don’t have to drive me—

“I want to.” Benny didn’t let her have a say in it as he got up wordlessly and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge.

A moment of silence passes them by as she takes a sip of her water, “Do you wanna talk about it?” His voice wavering as he asked her, unsure of what her response would be.

“Sure, let’s talk about the fact that I’m an idiot who couldn’t see what everyone else was talking about when I started having feelings for the guy.”

“Well when you put it like that—“ Benny gulped, the guy must’ve really fucked up. Like real bad.

“He showed up late with a lipstick stain on the side of his neck and his hair in thirty different directions.” She recalled the moment she’d seen her douchebag of a date failing to make up excuses as to where he had been.

“I’m so fucking sorry. You don’t deserve that.” Benny couldn’t believe what he was hearing; his blood was boiling, now he really wanted to fuck him up.

“I can kick his ass if you want me to? I’m pretty good at it.” Benny squared his shoulders, biting his lip. She couldn’t help but let out a giggle at his actions, she found it funny that he would be willing to fight someone for her.

He smiled upon hearing her pleasant laugh, “What! I’m serious. A little right hook and then an uppercut, knock ‘im right out.” He demonstrated the moves to her playfully as she rolled her eyes, sniffling once more.

“Benny, no. It’s not worth it.” She placed a hand on his shoulder to stop his movements, shaking her head in disagreement. He stopped fidgeting, grabbing her knuckle and holding it to his mouth for a hot minute.

She was definitely blushing now, wondering where he was going with this until he spoke again, “You’re worth it. To me, to my brother, to your brother, to Fish. You’re so damn worth it, Garcia.” He rasped against her knuckle, meaning every single word he said.

She was a lucky girl to say the least, she’d been surrounded by men who would show her what it’s really like to be treated properly and she wasn’t going to let some scumbag treat her like shit.

She pulled her hand away slightly when she heard footsteps behind her, Will emerging from his room, “Garcia? You okay? Where’s Pope?”

She couldn’t help but smile at how similar the brothers were, both of them asking the same questions when they’d seen her, “Hey, Will. We were just—“

“We were just heading out— I’m gonna drop her off. Don’t wait up.” Benny stood abruptly, having been caught by his older brother having a heart to heart with Pope’s little sister.

Walking side by side to the driveway, they settled into the big truck quietly, slamming the doors shut and driving off in the direction of her apartment building. After a few minutes in silence, Benny had pulled onto her street, parking his truck and walking her all the way up to her door despite her protests.

Before she knocked to alert her brother that she’d made it, she turned to the blue eyed man towering over her, “Thank you, Benny. You truly deserve the world.” She grinned softly up at him, his cheeks turning slightly red.

“Don’t mention it. Call me whenever you wanna talk, okay?” He leaned down to place a kiss against her soft cheek. The door opened, to reveal Pope standing there, before he could leave.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Benny pulled him into a hug.

“Benny.” Pope nodded his head towards him, stealing a glance at his sister.

“Hi.” Her voice came out smaller than she wanted it to, making Pope’s heart swell slightly. He could never be mad at her, nearly forgetting the situation altogether if it wasn’t for her noticeably red eyes that he knew she’d been crying over that stupid boy.

“I’m gonna get goin’. See you soon, Pope. Have a goodnight.” He smiled softly at the both of them, more so at the younger Garcia, and walked out of the building.

As soon as he was out of sight, she spoke again, “Tiago, you were right—“

He hushed her, pulling her into their apartment and shutting the door behind them, ”I don’t care if I was right, wrong, left, up, down. I don’t care. All that matters is that you’re not hurting, okay?” Santiago nodded his head to make sure she understood, and she did. She was grateful to have a brother like him, and friends like Benny.

“I’ll be okay.” She smiled, hugging his torso tightly considering how much shorter she was than him.

Hugging his sister back just as tightly, Pope cleared his throat, “Did you— did you and Benny kiss by any chance—“

“Santiago! No!” She pulled away from him immediately, mouth wide open, shocked that he would even ask that.

He sighed a breath of relief, “Yes! I fucking knew it. Will owes me twenty bucks.” Pulling out his phone to probably text him right now.

“You guys made a bet? On your siblings kissing? Grow up.” She hit him with her purse, turning to walk to her room, biting the inside of her cheek at the thought and trying to contain her smile.

No they hadn’t kissed but what was said was way better than any kiss she’s ever had, in her opinion.

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt64

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

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“What exactly are your conditions?” His father’s tone was both annoyed and resigned. Damian wasn’t sure who exactly he was annoyed with at this point. He had to wonder how much push back his father was getting from other League members for allowing the situation in Paris to be handled by Ladybug.

“Well, since it’s obviously an issue, the main one is that no information is relayed to anyone without my permission. I don’t care if it seems relevant or not. The last thing I need is my team compromised by something you think didn’t matter.” She was looking at Drake while she spoke and Damian had a feeling she was more concerned about him not wanting his family to know about Luka yet than anything really detrimental. He’d never admit it but he appreciated the gesture.

“I take it Damian is already following this rule since none of us were aware you knew who he was.” Even though it didn’t sound like a question Ladybug nodded. The look his father shot him told Damian he was in for a rather long lecture at some point in the near future. “We can agree that no information leaves Paris without your say so. If the problem escalates outside the city we’ll have to reevaluate.” His entire family looked shocked at the concession and Damian was tempted to ask his father if he’d had a stroke recently.

“That is fair. If things go according to plan this will all be over by next week so it should not be an issue.” Bruce just frowned at her but the others almost exploded telling her she needed more time to plan. The Agreste Mansion was basically a fortress and on and on. Damian saw a barely discernible shift in her expression and covered his ears as she let out a piercing whistle that echoed in the cave.

“Was that really necessary?” Todd sounded highly offended and Damian didn’t even try to hide his smirk as Ladybug rolled her eyes.

“Given that you were all yelling things that either don’t apply or I already know, yes it was. I appreciate the help you’ve given me but you still only know a miniscule amount about what is going on in Paris. If I want your input I’ll ask for it, otherwise my team and I can handle things on our own.”

“You keep saying your team, yet no one has seen anyone besides you and Discorde. If you have other help, why don’t you use them?” Dick was probably lucky he just sounded confused and not accusatory. He still fidgeted under Ladybug’s stare.

“That is my concern.” She turned back to Bruce and Damian saw Dick let out a relieved breath. The fact that his entire family was being cowed by a tiny, fifteen year-old Parisian with nothing but looks was one of the greatest things that he’d ever seen. “Other than that, if any of your team stays in Paris they will be required to follow my direction without question and will be given a regimen to follow to make them less likely Akuma targets.”

“We can all keep our emotions in check just fine.” Drake’s words were mumbled but still audible and Ladybug let out an amused snort.

“I highly doubt that. Repressing your emotions or refusing to show them to people won’t protect you from Hawkmoth. And given the way Damian was when he first came to Paris I highly doubt any of you are safe. I had to catch four Akuma’s that came for him in one night and I’d rather not have a repeat of that stress.” Damian kept his expression neutral but promised he’d address that with her later. He hadn’t even seen her the rest of that night but she’d apparently been following him. He couldn’t allow that kind of lapse in awareness. All of his family were looking at him now. Some with shock, some pity, but most seemed not to be surprised.

“Demon Spawn is different. The rest of us know how to handle our emotions.” He couldn’t believe those words came out of Todd of all people. Everyone in the cave was side eyeing him as if he’d lost his mind before they all promptly ignored him.

“That’s why I sent Tim. Given that he’s only conscious most of the time due to the sheer amount of caffeine in his system he’s always too tired to feel anything that strongly.” Drake didn’t even protest he just shrugged. “That and I thought you could use some on site tech help to combat Gabriel’s security system.” That was at least a rational argument.

“I’ll accept as long as he agrees to the terms. I don’t have the time or patience to deal with another obstacle, especially an unnecessary one.” Drake looked like he was going to argue but the glare Bruce leveled at him turned it into a sigh.

“Fine. I’ll follow your rules.” He shot an annoyed look at Bruce. “Just remember this conversation when you ask me why I didn’t tell you something you think you needed to know.” Bruce rolled his eyes but Damian could see the rest of his siblings mentally agreeing with Drake.

“Alright, I need to get back. If you want to stay with your family for a bit I can come back later to get you.” It took a moment for Damian to realize that the last part was aimed at him but when he did he just scoffed.

“I’m not going to let you leave me here to be questioned by these idiots.” Ladybug blinked at him while his siblings started shouting denials. He’d rather be Akumatized than left here.

“Isn’t that cute, Demon Spawn can’t spend five minutes away from his girlfriend.” He was going to stab Todd. Ladybug frowned at him.

“I’m not his girlfriend. In fact I’m in a great relationship and Damian’s not interested in me like that.” There was silence. None of his family seemed to know what to do when logic and facts got in the way of their teasing.

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[meteor-sword]

i remember in the tags of a post was something about a mako recovery fic... care to elaborate vae??? (if u want ofc) bc im very curious now and i think it would be great coming from you. im also of the opinion that they could’ve done so much more with mako’s recovery but tbh thats just a constant in tlok’s writing

dsfljsldfj ok first of all.... you are so sweet thank you for overestimating me 

second of all i am always surprised to hear people read what i put on this site even if it’s a text post of mine getting many notes so im shook you read my tags and remembered? 

but for actually elaborating: i think this is the post which also i love you for thinking about this for 2 weeks apparently? 

anyway injury discussion warning but, lightning strikes can cause spiral fractures in long bones, dislocations, nervous issues, heart damage i believe? and clearly scarring on the skin, etc. some people after the finale were apparently disappointed they didn’t end up killing mako-- something about completing his arc and being more interesting for korra and asami to come back and realize that happened, and for bolin to have to deal with that, but honestly that would’ve been... too depressing. i think if they would’ve shown the krew dealing with his recovery it would’ve been better than either what we got or mako dying 

i think one of the worst things when you’re waiting for someone to recover is when they do gain consciousness, but you’re not sure if they recognize you or not. i imagine this from bolin’s perspective, after dragging mako out of the mecha, delirious, hooked up to medical equipment bolin might never have seen before (the doctor or nurse explains bender-originated lightning strikes are usually short exposure, similar to natural strikes from the occasional bender fight or malfunction at the electrical factories, but this is different. they really dont know what might happen) 

korra and asami come when they can, and bolin has to explain to everyone what mako did. opal stays by bolin’s side but this kind of stress is not like anything mako let him be exposed to before (up till bolin serves under kuvira and has to escape that) so i think bolin is stressed and tired and probably a little mean about it 

idk who would be there but bolin and maybe opal, maybe asami are there when mako wakes up for the first time, but he’s intubated and can’t speak, and he doesn’t seem to recognize them. bolin tries encourage him to squeeze his hand, but there’s no reaction. the nurses come, and the visitors are ushered out. i know next to nothing about medical procedures or anything but i’m sure there’s tests and things for nerve/muscle/skin/bone damage they’d need to attend to once he’s conscious on some level ??? 

mako is in and out for the next week or two-- bolin by his side whenever he could be, and asking mako if he recognized people as they came to visit. wu comes at some point and makes sure mako and bolin and their family will be taken care of-- even if mako doesn’t recover well. No more having to rely on asami or anyone else. bolin absolutely snaps at him before wu has the chance to explain but he cuts the check nonetheless (as wu should tyvm) 

as soon as mako is coherent though he’s playing like there’s nothing wrong and bolin has nothing to worry about and bolin knows it’s not true, but it’s so easy to just believe mako like always. except mako really needs assistance and probably has to live with bolin or someone, but mako is always pushing to go back to work. i don’t think he’d be able to work until around the time of zhu li and varrick’s wedding? 

i think with all the efforts to fix republic city, and stabilize the earth kingdom, it would be difficult to balance everyone’s greater responsibilities with helping mako but really showing that struggle and how everyone reacts to mako’s near death experience would. be interesting. idk i’m really bad at concluding these things lately but yeah <3 

[junquisite]

Fated to love : Introduction + Preview

PAIRING : Park Junhee X OC X Kim Wooseok

GENRE : Fluff, Angst, future mature content. Further warning for each chapter would be provided.

WORD COUNT : 1.8k

PARTS :  I+P  1  2

“You deserve this break more than anyone Bora” Aerin said and Seri agreed.

“I think so.” Bora whispered as they were called in for the training.

“Everything is cool but please tell me again why is the first thing you wanna do as we landed in switzerland is paragliding?” Aerin asked as they saw their instructor approaching.

“He's cute.” Seri mumbled and Bora rolled her eyes at her.

“Hello, I'll be your instructor for now and my name is Park Junhee, if you can just give me your consent forms.” he said and they handed it to him. “Aaah I can't believe I met Koreans on my last day as my last customers.” he said and they laughed.

“It's your last day?” Seri asked and he nodded. “I’ll still be here for a couple of days but the last few days before leaving I want to spend time appreciating this country. I'm gonna miss it.”

“Where are you from in korea?”

“Seoul. You?” he asked.

“We’re from Seoul too.”

Soon  they were standing on the edge, Bora about to take off (after Seri asking her own trainer if she could switch hers with Bora’s who had Junhee), did Aerin come to her.

“Think about it Bora, if i die during this your marriage might get postponed.” and Bora laughed.

“Trust me, she would like it”, Seri said as she dragged Aerin away and the next thing Bora knew, she was in the air with Junhee guiding the sail behind her.

Too soon for her, she was on the ground and waiting for Aerin and Seri when Junhee came and stood up beside her.

“I can't believe the girl that caught my eyes for the first time in almost a month here is korean AND engaged.” and she looked at him.

“Who's engaged?” 

Junhee gave her a confused stare,”Aren't you?”

“Well..” she trailed off. “I'm not per se engaged but I am supposed to marry someone when i get back home.”

“So not engaged yet?” he asked her as he bent to stare in her eyes and smile at her.

“Not yet.You never know though. I might be engaged when i go back 2 weeks later or i might get a text message tonight saying I'm engaged. But not engaged yet.” something in his smile made her tell him that. And it was the truth. She wasn't exactly engaged yet.

“So this is like a pre wedding trip for yourself?” he asked again, she felt him taking a step closer towards her and she hid her face behind the scarf around her neck.

“Sort of.”

“Why not sure? Parents against it?” he asked and the way he laughed when he looked at her, he knew he got the bullseye.

“You can't even imagine.”

They saw as Aerin and Seri’s sail was going in circles meaning they’ll be landing soon enough.

“Try me.” he said as he turned to face her completely.

“Okay..you know how they come to check your permanent address for verification before issuing your visa?” she asked and he nodded.

“My father denied I lived there when they came because he did not want me to come on this trip.”

They saw how the girls landed with loud cheers but Junhee had his eyes set on her, wide open.

“You win. Oh god how did you come here?” he asked her and she giggled.

“I ended up giving my apartment address as my permanent address. And here I am.” 

Seri and Aerin were loudly calling her name as they were coming to her.

“I'm happy you're here.” he said with such a  soft smile that she hated to admit that it made her heart flutter. It was all so new to her.

“It wasn't that scary and i'm happy i tried it bora.” Aerin said as soon as they reached them and Bora smiled at her.

They were called by the people from the paragliding company staff and Bora turned around all too suddenly without realising she was still tied up with Junhee over the string and ended up falling down taking him with her - they ended up with her over him and she heard her friends giggle as Junhee held her softly.

“I don't give in before the third date, Miss. You gotta take me out thrice to get me into bed with you.” he said and laughed loudly at how quickly she turned red.

“Oh please take her out Junhee-ssi. She deserves at least one good date and getting laid before her marriage.” Seri said as they both stood up and the glare Bora threw her way could have been scary if Seri was one fo those who got scared of her.

“You have never been on a date before?” he asked her and she turned away from him.

“That's not true.”

“High school doesn't count Bora.” Seri spoke again and Aerin mumbled how she had no fears.

“Lass mich dich auf ein Date Mitnehmen.” he said and Seri cursed out loud.

“Ja.” bora said with a smile, giggling at how seri cried about not knowing what he asked because she wasn't a language nerd like Bora.

~

“I think we can announce our engagement today.” Wooseok said as Bora ended her call and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“I have no objection if it's okay with both of you.” Her father said.

“We won't be announcing my engagement at my company’s party organised for possible collaborations.” she said with certainty, “we can hold another party for our engagement.” she added and her father nodded as she turned to bow and leave.

“At Least wear the ring.” Wooseok asked before she could leave though and she stopped to level him with a cold gaze. She extended her hand to him and he tried to put the ring on her finger but she took it from his hand instead.

“I’ll do it myself. It's not like we have been properly engaged. You don't have to do this.” she said as she turned to leave.

“But we’re engaged still. I’ll see you at the party.”

~

“As the Chairwoman of ‘Neverland’ fashion, I'm proud to announce that it’s been a year since my company has been listed and I’m extremely thankful to each and everyone of you who have chosen to consider the idea of collaborating  with us. I truly wish i can find a chance to work with all of you at some point of time and as always, I'm extremely thankful for the support. Please enjoy the party!” Bora said as she bowed and everyone clapped. She was proud of what her company has come to and nothing could make her happier. And a lot of companies she has been interested in were here for a chance to work with her company. The time to prioritize the needs of her company and the demand of products was now.

“”Miss Kang?” someone called her and she turned to come face to face with a smiling face.

“Im Lee Donghun from JD Footwears. I was hoping to get a chance to talk to you.”

She smiled. JD footwears - a rising company giving even established brands a run for their money - a company founded by two friends which was reaching new heights every month. According to Bora, with the speed they were rising, she was expecting them to come on her level in a few months. JD footwears - a company she has been keeping an eye on for months now and would probably be her first choice to work with.

“Aaah I have been meaning to get a chance to talk to you.” she said with a smile.

“That's a pleasure to hear from you.” Donghun said as he bowed and she did the same.

“I thought you have a partner too?” she asked and he nodded.

“He was supposed to be here but there was an emergency at the shooting site for our new product’s advertisement so he had to be there. Regarding that, i have request for you?”

She raised an eyebrow at him, a request?

“What is it?” 

“How about we have dinner tomorrow night? A meeting to discuss potential collaboration and get to know each other. Since we would be working together soon enough.'' Donghun ended with a smile and she was impressed. There was a subtle flirting in his tone with enough pinch of professionalism which was a fresh surprise. His smile was adding it to it showing he knew there was a very small chance she might deny it -that confidence was something she found attractive, not necessarily in a romantic way but in a general sense.

“I don't think i appreciate you talking to my fiance like this.” she heard from behind her as Wooseok came and picked up her left hand to show the ring to Donghun.

“Oh I apologize I had no clue you were engaged. I swear it was all harmless flirting, I was just trying to make you feel comfortable Bora-ssi.” Donghun said as he bowed to her and Bora waved her hand as she smiled, “it's fine Donghun-ssi. I understand.” Then she pulled out her card from her coat’s pocket and a pen, scribbled her personal number on the card and handed it to him, “Feel free to message me the details for the dinner. Does tomorrow night works for you?” She asked as Donghun nodded at her.

“Then i hope to see you and your partner tomorrow night. Please send me the place you’ll be comfortable to meet at and let’s discuss the possible collaboration in detail.” she said and bowed as he bowed back and turned around as Wooseok tugged at her arm.

“I don't like the idea of you dining with him.” Wooseok said as they walked in the party hall, smiling and waving at people.

“It's not only him. His partner will be there too.” she said.

“What if he’s like him too?” Wooseok mumbled.

She turned to look straight at him at that and as he saw her cold expression, he realised how much she has changed from the Bora he used to know since middle school. 

“Don't act like you care for me Wooseok. I don't care whether you like me having dinner with them or not, I am going and nothing is going to change that decision.” 

It’s the trip. That changed her. Wooseok thought.

“I knew it was a bad idea letting you go on that trip to swiss.” he mumbled and saw how she narrowed her eyes at him - he had been seeing that look on her too much recently.

“Stop trying to control my life. You're marrying me, not buying me.” she said and she pulled her hand away from his and left him standing along at that party hall.

[spilledinkstories]

One Level Down

(writing prompt: you board an elevator of strangers and someone says “thank you all for coming”— I just kind of ran with this one, didn’t take it too seriously... :P )

“So I bet you are wondering why I’ve asked you here,” said the woman in the red overcoat.

I had been planning this specific trip to my university’s library for about two weeks now. I had placed a hold on a rare copy of a book you could only read in-house, and I had been notified of the date of my viewing. It was in a temperature-controlled basement room, and to be honest, I had been feeling pretty great about the whole experience. Like this made me a Real Scholar, or something. 

It was a book on the archeological findings at a famous site in China. I was writing a paper on how a report provided by women versus men often offered different focal points of the ideas of the ancient society, or different perspectives on that society all together. For example, you might get a bigger focus in a report on home life rather than warfare. That was the department’s hope, anyway. This was of course a research question posed by the department, and I had been wondering what on earth could be so different in two reports filed on the finding of a hairbrush, but anyway. The temperature-controlled room sounded cool, and I was all about that academic aesthetic. I kind of felt like it was part of some Indiana Jones movie, doing research of relics and ancient peoples, being involved in the ongoing discourse around history, the relationship between a person digging up some ancient artifact in a remote land, and then tourists paying pocket change to stare at it for five seconds. 

So, you can imagine my surprise when, crammed on an old elevator with several other people in various states of exhaustion, digging for gum in my overflowing backpack to eradicate the taste of crappy cafeteria coffee on my breath, the woman spoke. 

No one said anything for a couple seconds. 

“Really, no one is curious?” She pressed. 

“We got your memo, ma’am,” said one of the young men in a baggy sweatshirt. 

“Didn’t think to question it,” said another.

“Headquarters told me yesterday, I flew out immediately,” said a girl in a voice simply dripping with a thirst to prove herself. It’s worth mentioning that we were six Americans standing in an elevator in London, England.

“Good,” said the woman in the red coat. 

“Why a library,” whined the first boy. “I thought joining up meant a life of excitement, not…books.”

I had to hide my grin, not wanting to be caught. I don’t know if they knew I didn’t know what was happening, but I’ll tell you: I didn’t. I was intrigued though, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to pretend I was one of them for a little while.

“Well, I assume you all brought your paperwork with you, so we won’t waste any time getting started. I’ve booked the main room down here for one hour, so let’s be sharp, got it?” The woman in red spoke with an authority that was positively presidential. We fell in line like soldiers as the elevator doors creaked open, and she marched down a carpeted hall to what looked like a conference room. 

I was beginning to question my new plan, realizing I’d miss my viewing of the book if I stayed too long with these strangers, when someone spoke in my ear. “I haven’t seen you before, but it’s nice to have another girl on the team. Wanna sit next to me?”

“Okay,” I whispered back. 

“I’m Anna,” she said, smiling.

“Ivy,” I whispered back. 

“Sit,” said the woman in the red coat, as we entered the conference room. She stood at the front and fired up her laptop, and had it projecting onto the screen in a couple of seconds. Images of old manuscripts and letters filled the screen, all too faint to read properly. 

“So, I want you to go around the room really quickly, tell me your names, and your departments,” she commanded, turning quickly to the young man sitting to her left.

“Brandon, fact checking,” he said.

“Adam, restoration,” said the one who had whined that it was a library job. 

“Jake, archeology.” This one shocked me, since he was dressed like a stoner that thought pop music would be the death of culture but was secretly in love with Taylor Swift. Maybe they were all disguised look like students, to blend on campus or something…

I gulped. I was sweating now, the skin behind my knees prickling inside my tights. Clearly this was some official thing – the power suit the boss lady had been hiding under her red coat was proof of that enough. The skater skirt I had on was okay, and my baggy green knit sweater hid the Captain America t-shirt underneath, and my combat boots hid my Dr. Who socks…but I still felt massively out of place. The space buns hairstyle really was the cherry on top. The epitome of e-girl wannabe, nerdy art student, who’d invited herself to this meeting. I gulped again. “Ivy, sociology,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t shake. 

“Anna, state department,” the other girl said directly after I’d spoken. She looked polished too, like an intern at a high end tech company or something. Wait. Did she say state department?

“Great, and I’m Dr. Grayson, here on behalf of, well, a few people. Important people. Okay. Let’s get started. The short version is that the manuscripts you see on this screen are actually fakes, and we have to prove it. The long version is that they were  pulled from a recent dig at a site said to house artifacts from the Byzantine empire, and they are to be displayed at the British Museum next month. It’s a political scheme. In essence, the scientists pushing these documents want to present them to the public as proof that an archaic and brutal form of biochemical warfare was commonly used before, in order to try to naturalize it into the minds of civilians, in hopes that if it’s used later they won’t deem it a warcrime that came out of nowhere.” With that, Dr. Grayson began handing out papers around the table, giving us a moment to digest.

Um. 

What the hell had I walked into? I needed to go. I had to get out of there. But how was I supposed to leave without them knowing I didn’t belong? On the other hand, how was I supposed to sit here and listen to the rest of this and then try to walk away, having heard all their plans? Either way I felt like I was done for. I could feel the sweat prickling my armpits and the backs of my knees, and my toes felt slick inside my shoes. My stomach felt acidic, and I could feel it churning and roiling. I was sure Jake and Anna on either side of me could hear my heart palpitating and my breath coming in short, uneven rasps.

“Your handouts outline the task ahead of us. Of course the lawyers are already trying to handle the scientists putting this research forward as legitimate, so we’re not really going to focus on the publicity angle ourselves. Our focus is to prove that this document is a fake. We’re going to analyze it, and we’ll have to dig up some research on warfare of the time, but we’ll also be dispatching our own team to the dig site. We want to see what other artifacts or things they supposedly dug up there. Anything we can do to discredit this.”

“Right, so Brandon and I can team up, if you want,” Adam said.

“I’d hoped so. You two can work on trying to disprove the authenticity of these artifacts. They’re here actually, in the other room. Being cared for. The staff here put them in the maps room.” 

Holy crap…what had I walked into. I had known choosing to go to university in London would be exiting - I’d always loved British culture, but I thought I’d be reading Shakespeare and arguing essays from Ophelia’s perspective…stuff like that. Saying that Lady Macbeth could be construed as a hero, given women’s issues of the times. Not…this.

“So, that leaves Jake, Anna, and Ivy,” Dr. Grayson was saying, “perfect. We’ll get on the jet, and we should be at the dig in about three hours. You’ll be fitted with the proper tools, of course.”

Oh my god. Oh my god. Why had I followed them off that elevator?

An hour later I was seated between Jake and Anna on a very small airplane, taking off from Heathrow. 

“So, state department, huh? Couldn’t stand to let actual scientists get some work done without a babysitter?” Jake tossed this scornfully at Anna, ignoring me who was awkwardly slumped in my seat and wishing I didn’t exist.

“Unsupervised scientists are exactly what created this mess, dumbo.” 

“Wow, I can’t believe you called me that. Dumbo. Ouch. How am I going to be able to focus on my work, with a wound so deep?” 

“Ugh,” Anna rolled her eyes, and turned to look out her window. And by god, I wish she hadn’t, because Jake turned to me instead.

“Cute hair, by the way. You blended in really well. Sociology, you said? What’s your area?” I gulped, my throat feeling like it was made of carpet. I was an introvert to begin with, so honest conversation with strangers posed enough of a challenge. But this was another beast entirely.

“Im interested in women’s suffrage,” I squeaked.

“Of course you are. No, I didn’t mean your disguise,” he said with a laugh. He must have mistaken my anxiety for anger, because he followed with “I mean, we’re all into women’s rights. Don’t get me wrong. I just meant…like…what’s your speciality, like, why’d you get put on this specific case?” 

I wracked my brains so hard I wondered if it was possible to inflict a concussion that way.

“I was in the middle of conducting research on how different teams of anthropologists or archeologists can influence the public image of ancient societies, based on publication and subsequent publicity.” 

“Oh, so you’re from the office of public affairs, basically,” he said in a bored voice. 

“Have you ever been to a dig before?” Anna asked, sounding politely interested. I simply shook my head. 

“Okay, no worries, Jake and I can handle the grunt work, and you can focus on your write-up. I’m sure you’ve got a tight deadline for this.” I smiled appreciatively, blown away that my answer had satisfied them and terrified of making things worse. 

“Wait, I thought Grayson said we weren’t covering the publicity, that they had lawyers on it,” Jake said.

“It’s more academics,” I said vaguely, and they nodded as though this meant something significant. 

Thank the lord we spent the rest of the flight in relative silence, reading through the documents Grayson had handed out. They really just outlined procedures for the dig site, and our capacity there, but Anna had assured me I could just linger to a side with a laptop if I wanted.

We touched down in Genoa around three in the afternoon. 

At least if it was my last day as a free citizen on this earth, I could say I’d gone to Italy with a frankly quite attractive scientist boy. Not a bad last day, as these things go. With mountains on one side and the sea on the other, it was absolutely breathtaking. If I hadn’t been in the middle of an hours-long panic attack, I think it would have been the best day of my life. 

Off the plane, we got into an SUV right there on the tarmac, and as I watched the scenery slip from urban to rural I wondered what had inspired these fake scientists or whatever to even want to do this. What kind of biochemical warfare were they suggesting? Dr. Grayson hadn’t said, and none of the paperwork had said it either. I suppose the others back in London would decode it from the manuscripts, if that’s what they were doing, but…

“So you’re here to report on us, Anna tells me. I was wondering who you were,” Grayson spoke in a quiet voice from the front seat. I said nothing, feeling like my throat was going to swell shut in panic. Was I busted? Would they tie rocks to my feet and toss me out to sea?

“I don’t blame you for not wanting to speak up until we were on our way. The bureaucrats never want the researchers involved, but then they get mad when the researchers say something they don’t like, so what’s the point? You may as well be here and get the proper intel.” She swivelled in the front seat to face me. “Don’t make me regret it, got it?” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I said in what I hoped was a winning voice. I saw a smirk tugging at the corners of Jake’s mouth, and tried to soothe the raging panic in my head and stomach. 

The dig site was honestly kind of disappointing. I had built it up in my head to look like a whole government facility built on a crater in the ground, with tents, scaffolding, desks, the works. But nope. This was just a crater in the ground, with a couple of ropes spanning the width of it here and there, I guess to mark the split between sections or something. That, and a couple of stools and ladders, and it was your run-of-the-mill pit.

“You’ll want this. Don’t forget the back of the neck,” Jake said, handing me a tube of sunscreen. 

“Oh, thanks,” I said, smirking as I took a bit and passed it on to Anna, who began vigorously rubbing some into her face and arms. 

“Tools are in the trunk,” Grayson said, “I’ll be in the car as I have to update the Upstairs. Private phone call, you get it. Get to work.” Anna sprung into action. It was like she was racing Jake to get the tools and pick a spot first, wanting to beat him at every turn. 

“You’re not even a real archeologist,” he grumbled, leaving my side to gather his equipment. 

“Tell that to the state department,” she called, and he looked pissed that she’d heard. 

“Which state, even?” He asked.

“Virginia.” 

“CIA then?” 

“Not necessarily.” 

I said nothing, letting them bicker. I went to the trunk and peered in, seeing a stack of coveralls. I picked on up to inspect it, thinking it might be nice to cover up my outfit that was feeling less and less professional by the second. 

“Good thinking,” Anna said, grabbing a pair herself. All suited up, she pulled a laptop out of a bag and passed it to me. 

“Here ya go, I guess you didn’t get a chance to bring yours.”

“Is there internet here?” I asked.

“Yep, car acts as a router. High tech,” she said. I took the computer from her silently.

The three of us trudged back to the pit, where the other two lost no time hopping in and surveying their turf. 

“So,” I said awkwardly, “we’re supposed to see if we can find any other manuscripts? Or anything suggesting biochemical warfare?”

“Partly, yeah. I’m also going to be inspecting the dig site itself to try to disprove that they found any paper substances. Particles left behind, impressions in the ground, you know.” Jake was bobbing his head, hands on his hip, looking like my dad about to mow the lawn on Sunday morning.

“You can do that?” I asked. He laughed, seeming to think I was being facetious. I wasn’t. I was just clueless, but I guess I’m glad he didn’t see it.

“I’ll just watch you both work for a while, and then I’ll start my write-up. I need to observe to figure out my angle.” I tried to muster as much authority in my voice as possible, as though I’d done this kind of thing before. 

“Yeah, okay,” Anna said absently. A couple of minutes later and some awkward waiting with my hands in my pockets, laptop waiting on a stool, the others had picked work spots and gotten to it. 

The silence was broken only by the sound of shifting dirt, and the occasional ruffle or grunt from one of them. Subtle glances back to the car suggested that Grayson may not be joining us in the pit at all, which was a relief. I watched as Jake poked and prodded at the ground, a look of deep concentration on his face, compared to Anna’s digging with all the fervour of a child told to find treasure in a sandbox. 

There was nothing for it. I went over to the stool, opened the laptop, and started typing. I wrote of the bureaucratic nature of science, as Grayson had put it in the car, and how publication could really be a business. How people had to fight to get their ideas heard. How certain things were deemed more or less important to the government for example, versus the public sphere. 

Basically, I sat in coveralls, on a stool in a pit in Genoa, Italy, and wrote my term paper. 

I tried to spin it so that the finding of a hairbrush, or a kitchen tool, would be treated very differently than the finding of a weapon, and whether or not it was a man or woman who discovered it really made no difference. Both men and women work in bureaucratic systems and in academics in today’s world, and both have access to controlling information. I wrote something like that, hoping if Grayson checked what I’d been working on, she’d see it as a government report on academia, since that was my only thread of legitimacy to work with where these strangers were concerned. After I finished I quickly emailed it to myself, hoping no-one would notice, and then I could just email my professor saying I couldn’t see the book I was supposed to but I’d written a paper for the deadline anyway.

By the time I’d finished my write up it was nearing six o’clock. Jake pulled up a stool next to me, and braced his forearms on his knees. 

“I can’t see any evidence of a real dig here. I don’t get it,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I said slowly, closing the laptop, having quadruple checked that I’d sent the work to my school email and saved it.

“I mean there wasn’t a dig here. This isn’t a real archeological site.” 

“So where did the fake manuscripts come from then?” I asked, wondering how on earth he could tell.

“I don’t know. I also don’t know why Grayson wouldn’t have known that before we got out here.” 

“Well, someone had to be the first to check,” I offered, blushing a little for fear this was a stupid comment. He looked at me, real suspicion entering his eyes for the first time.

“There are scientists in Italy. We didn’t need to fly out here to check it. Something’s up.” In the setting sun, the green flecks in his brown eyes caught the light, and I realized he was younger than I had originally thought. He couldn’t have been out of school that long.

“Maybe Grayson is in on it?” But before Jake could reply to this, Anna joined us in our little corner of the pit.

“Anyone have any water?” Jake passed her some, and she gulped it down before saying, “I’ve been digging for almost three hours and haven’t found a single thing.” 

I felt the familiar surges of panic making their way through my veins, making my ears ring and my head feel stuffy, and making the other two feel oddly distant. 

“Maybe the site has already been cleared out?” I offered, my voice squeaky. Anna passed me the water bottle, mistaking my rasp for thirst.

“How’s it going down here?” The three of us froze, staring at each other. Grayson had gotten out of the car, and hopped into the pit, the heels of her shoes sinking an inch or two in the loose dirt. She shuffled over to us, maintaining her look of authority. 

“Yeah, good,” Jake said, “I think I’ve seen all I need to for a first look.” 

“You’re only getting one look,” she drawled.

“I haven’t found any other artifacts,” Anna said, “I think whoever was here before cleared everything out.” 

“And where would they have put it?” Grayson demanded. Anna fell silent, taken aback. 

“I don’t think anyone really was here before. I think this is a fabricated dig site.” While I didn’t know Jake very well, there was no mistaking the challenge in his voice. Grayson’s eyes narrowed a little, and she took a couple steps closer to where Jake was seated beside me, so she could tower over him. 

“And what are you suggesting, exactly, Jake?” 

“When I’m working I go by Dr. Miller. I’m suggesting that they gave you a fake location to send you on a goose chase, or that perhaps those manuscripts don’t exist at all.”

“Then what would you suggest is in the maps room back in London?” She said dangerously. 

“I couldn’t tell you, seeing as I never saw them in person.” A grin flickered on Grayson’s face. I caught Anna’s eye from where she was standing behind Grayson, and read the worry as a pretty bad sign. 

“Who would want to send me on a wild goose chase?”

“You’re the government official, not me. Who exactly do you work for, Dr. Grayson? And what are you a doctor of, exactly?”

“Political science, it’s just a title. I work for the secretary of defence.” At this, Jake laughed in her face. 

“The U.S. government is worried about some old scroll they dug up in the mountains that suggests some ancient civilization knew how to…what? Poison each other? This is a joke, right?” Jake stood up and strolled away from the group, shaking his head.

“Not poison,” she said quietly.

“Then what?” I asked, immediately realizing I’d broken my vow to myself to keep my stupid gob shut.

“Classified,” she said with an arched brow.

“So again, why fake the site?” Anna asked. 

“The scientists who produced the documents could have said it was here to buy time until the exhibition,” I offered, since Grayson was still staring at me. She flicked an eyebrow up again, and finally broke her stare to turn her eyes on Jake.

“Are any of you wearing microphones?” She asked. 

“No,” we all said unanimously. She exhaled wearily, rubbing a hand over her tired eyes.

“Alright. What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this pit. The scrolls outline a way of spreading a virus that was apparently employed all the way back then. Given the recent pandemic all over the world, that’s not the kind of thing the public needs to be seeing. But these scientists are convinced it needs to go public. You can see how that would strike fear into the hearts of everyone. They’d all be convinced they were the recent victims of a large-scale government attack.” 

“Who are these scientists? Archeologists, whoever?” Anna said, disgust colouring her words.

“We’re wasting time here, we can talk about this on the jet back to London. I want to see those manuscripts,” Jake said, and he strode to the edge of the pit and hauled himself out. I was shocked that Grayson didn’t counter his authority, and instead followed him. 

I slept most of the plane ride back to London. I’d listened to them bicker and swap theories while we ate our way through a couple of pizzas that were waiting for us on the tarmac, but they’d mostly talked in circles. The more they talked, the less Grayson really seemed to know, and Jake kept saying he needed to see these artifacts.

With the time change back, it was about nine when we landed, and ten pm when we reached the university. I felt better, having slept a bit, but my head was still pounding with exhaustion from the events of the day.

We loaded ourselves back into the same elevator in the university library, and headed one level down. Instead of going to the conference room we headed down another hallway, where the map room was tucked away.

“They said they were still here,” Grayson said, leading us. She opened the door, and I would have been impressed by the collection of old maps had I not flown to the northern coast of Italy and back that afternoon.

“Where are they?” Jake asked harshly. 

“I don’t know,” Grayson admitted. 

“Dr. Grayson, have you worked with either Brandon or Adam previously?” Anna asked. 

“No, I haven’t. I haven’t worked with any of you before.” 

“Do you know who they work for?” Anna pressed. 

“No.”

“They just said fact checking and restoration. That could be government, a university,” Anna was trailing off. 

“A museum, even,” Jake offered. 

“I mean now that I think of it, you didn’t check any of our credentials,” Anna said, glaring at Grayson. 

“Hang on a minute, I knew five people were supposed to be joining me in the map room. I don’t appreciate your suggestion that I’m incompetent. They’re probably out grabbing coffee.”

“But how do we know they weren’t just two random guys on the elevator?” Anna said, wringing her hands. I was beginning to think she was scared that her own butt was on the line here, but mine was too so…relatable. 

“Oh, you’re back, perfect,” said a voice as the door opened, and Brandon and Adam walked in. The room was cramped with all of us standing in there. 

“From what we can tell, they’re real,” Adam said.

“They can’t be, the dig site seemed fake,” Jake said. “Let me see it.”

“I mean, obviously more rigorous testing has to be done than what we can do in a day, but it seems pretty authentic to me,” Brandon was saying as he led Jake over to where they’d been examining a very old, gross looking scroll of paper.

“Who do you two work for?” Grayson asked them, and they looked at her in shock. 

“I work for the British Museum, in the restoration department,” Adam said a little uncertainly. 

“I work for the university here, but I was hired as a consultant by the government,” Brandon said a little pompously. 

“And who do you work for?” Grayson said, turning on me. 

My throat burned. My eyes stung. I felt my head swimming, my palms prickling and my knees shaking. My limbs felt weirdly weightless. They were all staring at me now, and I knew there was nothing for it. 

“It’s like Anna said…I was just a stranger on the elevator. I followed you guys to the conference room earlier half as a joke, and then I got too scared to leave cause I thought I’d get in trouble,” it was all just tumbling out of me, and I didn’t care that tears were tracking down my face. “I should never have gotten on the plane, I should have never even followed you down the hall off of the elevator. I was on my way to look at an old book for a sociology paper I’m supposed to submit this weekend.”

To my absolute shock, Jake started to laugh. Not just a chuckle, he really laughed. Despite myself, I laughed a little too.

“I really was supposed to write a paper on different perspectives on the publications in the archeology and anthropology world, but this took it to a whole new level. I did a write up at the dig site and emailed it to myself to submit for class, but I can delete it if you want.” I looked at Grayson, fear spiking in my gut again. 

“I’ll read it first, but you clearly know nothing so I’m sure it’s harmless,” she said with an eye roll. why had I laughed? Surely ‘apologetic’ and terrified was what I should be going for, not acting like I was gloating.

“Are you gonna lock me up?” I squeaked, fresh hot tears running into my mouth and off my chin.

“What for? So you came to Italy, big deal. If Jake is right and the site is fake, you basically flew with us to see a random hole in the ground. We’ll draft up a non-disclosure agreement, track your phone for a few days, keep an eye on you…to be honest, with something like this, it doesn’t really matter that one little girl knows.” I was a bit offended at being called a little girl, but I took her point. Even if I posted about today all over my social medias, I would be discounted pretty quickly by the public, especially since I had no photos to back it up. Kinda like that history channel guy convinced aliens were responsible for historical landmarks.

“So…” I started, unsure what I was attempting to say. 

Adam pulled a wad of cafeteria napkins out of his pocket. “It’s okay, no one thinks you meant anything by it. You got swept up in it. No big deal.” 

“It still doesn’t answer my question though,” Jake insisted. “Where did these come from? If they are real, why do they surface now? Who found them? And if they’re fake, still who?”

“All I know is my boss gave me the assignment,” Grayson shrugged. 

“What does that mean? You’re blaming the American government for this?” Anna said acidly. 

I sat down in a chair tucked in the corner, glad I didn’t have to pretend I knew what was going on, or that I had any roll in this. 

“Can I go?” I asked, suddenly desperate for silence and solitude. I’d had enough.

“Yeah. We know where to find you,” Grayson said, exhaustion dripping from her own voice. 

I left the room. I walked back down the hallway, boarded the elevator and left the university library. I walked back to my dorm, in a complete daze, unable to process the day I’d just experienced. I’d snuck into some top secret government meeting and flown to Italy to attempt to disprove evidence of an ancient virus spreading technique. 

At least I’d still managed to write my paper, and I’d tried pizza in Italy, so that was pretty cool. 

A week later, with an A on my paper that I’d turned in, headlines broke that people suspected foul play with the pandemic we’d just survived the year prior. People began to suspect that it was brought on by some government or other, but then other outlets said that was just paranoia. Others still said it was old news, and what were we supposed to do about it anyway.

I bought a ticket to the British Museum, and saw the manuscript on display for everyone to see. A little blurb was posted beside it, saying how its authenticity was severely questioned, but it was no doubt real. 

No one seemed to care. I never did find out where those manuscripts really came from.

[bethesky]

Broken Bodies and Broken Minds

Ed Moustis

I wonder if other people can feel time like I do - like how I can feel how wet a single tear droplet is as it falls down my face second by second. In specific instances in life, these moments become proportionally more abundant to me. I cherish those moments that specificity and nonspecificity meet - where someone can experience everything and nothing all at once. It means that I can feel.

I felt a single tear slide down my left cheek. It wasn’t due to anything I felt. I cried on behalf of my mom. She stood ten feet in front of me and held back the sorrow of a thousand widows. I didn’t even know how to feel. I wish I did but the person I looked to for that guidance wasn’t here. I had been the odd one out my entire life. Being unique was supposed to be a good thing but I despised it. It was like I had always been a chameleon mimicking another’s reaction.

Based on her broken response, I knew what was happening. The first time that this happened, I fell into a black hole so dense that the only way to crawl out was by tooth and nail. There were battle wounds deeper than scars could show. The teeth and nails - they weren’t mine. They belonged to my friends and family that stuck by my side on the battlefield when they didn’t have to. 

This time around, hearing those dreadful words was a tank shell that shot to the depths of my soul. The fallout was too large, my psyche shattered into another million broken pieces when I hadn't even finished scrounging up the pieces from the last time. This was the beginning of the end. The cancer was back and I would soon be deployed back into a war that I am not meant for.

After my doctor finished the discussion with my mother, his sorrowful eyes turned towards me. I would hate to be in his shoes - telling a sixteen-year-old boy that he would go back into hell. The demons he fought still cursed him and his last fight were futile - dying was for nothing. The first time his heart stopped was not the end of the war. The battle rages on and he will be sent to the front lines. Again.

Time was still. I began to experience a new level again. I noticed, my medical doctor has these exceptional specs in his eyes that made me feel warm. I had always been oblivious to their pungency. His words, as if bullets which left no visible battle wounds were undetectable to my brain. I knew I was going to go through this again - my brain was filtering the painful dialogue that accompanied the truth. Would it be another few years of chemo or a year's worth of surgeries? This drug of distress that I was on, it burned through me. His lips flopped around like a fish looking for water. My attempts to decode his foreign language were unsurprisingly useless. Even if I could understand what he was saying, I don’t think I would want to hear it. I had been using all the shrapnel from the tank shell to build an impenetrable wall that even my mother couldn’t tear down.

Once the doctor concluded his script, I noticed my mom approach me. She had always been so wonderful - a personal Joan of Arc by my side. The ferocity of this woman was simply unmatched by even an Amazonian warrior. Also, her vitality was that of a dragon. To mirror that further, she was as independent as a one as well. The troubling similarity between Joan of Arc, a dragon, and my mother was their extremely troubling tendency with being caught up in flames. 

The first time I was diagnosed, my mother became a baron of light. She crafted her whole universe for me and I was the sun - that was until she fell into her own black hole. One son was crippled with cancer while the other was crippled from a car accident. Torn in two, like her life was one brilliantly, horribly crafted medieval trap, she crumbled upon the weight of two. The broken puzzle that was my family was limited to a post-war Joan of Arc, a collapsed sun, but more fittingly, a collection of black holes.

My mother grabbed my hand. I was drafted back into reality. As small of a woman as she was, I required her to use a pinch less of her strength for the sake of my hands. I made a prolonged look at her and her hand ironically tightened. A sense of relief flushed through me though. I wanted to control this twisted world and I couldn’t. I knew she thought that she was trying to comfort me. In my heart, I recognized that she needed me as much as I needed her. The equality of our relationship was comfortable enough. 

In the auditory section, my brain still seemed to be malfunctioning. Once again, I sat in anticipation to see how my mother would react. As expected, upon the conclusion of the doctor’s final remarks, she approached him and wrapped her little arms around him. He gave a gentle, half-smile to me while she hugged him. I suppose, if I was going to be diagnosed with cancer again by anyone, I would want it to be him.

The white halls of the hospital were endless. I knew every twist and turn of this maze. I recognized the faces of too many nurses as I passed by. Children my age and younger flooded the floor. Those same children were fighting the fight I did - and will again. We were the children at war. The casualty rates were always too high and friends made here were in vain. The sudden loss of a fellow soldier would be too much of a burden to carry along with the rest. As we approached the exit of this underage morgue, a light stuck through the doors. It was always sunny when I left this bleak building. I wonder if I will see a light like this when I die someday. I hope I will. I didn’t see anything last time. 

The chatter of the world came back to me and the noise pierced through my brain. It grew louder and louder until it quickly overwhelmed me. I tried to keep my reaction to a minimum to ensure that my mom didn’t attempt to cradle me. I had a subtle feeling, under my special circumstances, I wouldn’t mind that. I could never grow the strength to let that myself succumb to my feelings. Every day I want to collapse but then I’m giving in.

Like two brick walls, we walked over to the filled parking lot. It was only when in private, in the security of our personal chariot, that she began to speak to me. I wasn’t looking at her, but I could sense the movement of her eyes dart back and forth. She was searching for the right words to say - a needle in a haystack. I began to worry she might bring up what happened inside right away. I was not processing. It would make everything too real for me to handle. I knew my mother like the back of the hand and I was well aware of the conversation we were about to have; even if I desired otherwise. As anticipated she said, “Finn, how do you feel about the procedure next week?”

I slowly turned my head toward her. I usually heard vital words like “procedure” when I spaced out. How did I miss that? “The procedure?” My face looked extremely puzzled. As soon as I noticed it, she did as well. It was my grave error that I let that slip.

A despairing breath slipped out of my chemo-damaged lungs as she questioned, “Oh… you blanked out, didn’t you? I thought that you were going to work on that with Doctor Graham?” Hearing the doctor’s name zoned me back into reality. It was to no surprise she would bring up Graham. That genius of a man was an on-site engineer, my on-site medic, that would dig me out of the debris that I got lost in. He was capable of telling me of truths that seemed so far gone, yet were true, that even Schrödinger’s cat couldn’t find. My mom sought out treatment from him after my dad passed away in a car crash. It was that same car crash that made my brother into a temporary pile of jelly. She only could pick one topic to mourn for at once. She decided to choose my brother, Parker’s, injuries since I was on the final days of my tour. Due to the raging success that Doctor Graham had with my mother, my brother Parker and I see him regularly. I quickly snap out of my personal solar system and hear my mom speak to me, “Finn?”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re working on it,” I said with bated breath, “What procedure?” I felt my body now firmly planted into the seat. My skin laid on my bones - a feeling only a cancer patient could appreciate. It wasn’t crawling. The thought of a procedure kept me slightly hopeful - something I rarely was. The tank shell that was shot into me earlier began to digress. The pieces slip back into me. A year of surgeries would be much better than three years of chemo. I have had plenty of procedures that called for me being surrounded by the brightest minds in the world - the one percentile of geniuses.

“They said that the procedure… it uh… it will… “ she stopped speaking. I couldn’t tell if she was choking up but the concept frightened me. My head was screwed forward onto the road. The hope I had mustered up lied in the balance of her next words. She had never had an issue breaking grim news to me and I had never experienced a situation so dark and brutal that my mother had stumbled over her words. 

This was the woman that stumbled into her dying son’s room to tell him that while they were at chemo earlier this morning his dad and brother were t-boned by a truck that ran a red light. She spoke to me, with the stillness of a mountain to not frighten me, that my father, her husband since the age of nineteen, died on impact and my brother was in critical condition with lady luck favoring him not to make it. And, if he does, then he will never take another step in his life.

“Mom, what is it?” I asked quickly. I recognized my dimwitted curiosity. My naiveness took control while I should have been bracing. Whatever came next, I was sure I was strong enough for it. I was my mom’s sun. Nothing could be fiercer than that.

“The procedure is the only way to eliminate the remaining cancer threat in your body,” she slowly whispered.

“And? That’s wonderful! I don’t have to do any more chemo or worry about relapsing again!” I said. My words grew in strength after each breath. The debris cleared completely. 

She immediately said, “The procedure has a ten percent survival rate.” The joy that came from my words was vanquished. The world stopped spinning. I flew a million miles per hour. My speed shredded my hope down to its finest atom. I had been alive for only sixteen years and six of those prime years were taken by cancer already. Now it was destined to steal my life. Even the suns have to die but at least they get to live a real life.

Time stopped when my Earth stood still. I had reached that same moment of singularity as earlier. Every lamppost, every sign, it spoke to me. I was attuned to the universe. Everything I had experienced on this Earth told me that I had already been unlikely my entire life and that, in this case now, there would be no difference in this procedure. Signing on to do this procedure is no different than making a deal with death. I wanted to be able to write my own destiny but it was road blocked by ten-percent. I would become nothing more than a statistic.

I was still in shock by the time we arrived at the house. Our car pulled up to the driveway and my mother ushered me by the arm into the house. My face was perfectly blank. She quickly sat me on the couch. 

A life I would never have flashed in my mind. I would never get to walk arm-by-arm with my mother at my wedding. That though meant she would never get to see me get married. She would never see my children and become a grandmother. I could never give a remarkable, memorable best man’s speech to Charlie, the only girl that has ever shown interest in my brother, and Parker at their wedding.

Worst of all, I would never be able to kiss Robin. The only woman in my entire life that I am sure that I have ever loved. Leaving her will be the worst. Parker and I were supposed to marry those sisters. Robin is the fourth amigo in our broken bunch. We are all supposed to get drinks with Doctor Graham when we reach twenty-one to thank him for keeping us under his umbrella of helpful advice and correctly appointed sympathy. 

As the memories of the future came and went, my mom was telling Parker. I was so convinced that he was going to rise from his wheelchair and hug me. His wheels were still on the living room carpet. He looked at my shaking hands on my knees where fingers were tapping like machine guns - bang bang bang. My consciousness was grasping at any reality that wasn’t this one. All feeling viscously vanished. I kept questioning “Do I even breathe anymore?”. 

With all the courage that I could find, I stood up. Instantly, I stole the attention, any words that floated in the room settled in the air. My feet moved for me. I wondered if this is what robots felt. In a blink, I was in my messy, teenage room. I grabbed my alarm, set it for three hours from now, and I laid down. Doctor Graham always told me that a beneficial way to relieve stress was by sleeping. After testing so many methods, that was the one that spoke to me the most. My eyes shut. Just for an instant, I felt real peace. The image of darkness reminded me of death. I was not going to come back again. I was already undead and there is no resurrection for those who have come back once. Hopefully, it would be quick and painless. The thoughts panned to troubled and painful ones in a flash. I began questioning too much about the life that was stripped away from me. I didn’t want to go. How long until I’m not talked about? That’s when I really die.

An ethereal hand shot from the sky in my dream. I was pulled into my unwelcoming reality. The alarm blared. My hand floated over it to stop the blaring. I sat up on the bed and felt my body and the sweat that covered it. I had one week to live. For once, in many years, I felt real hope. I knew what I was going to do with my last week on this Earth. I would make a death list for my broken self to live out - a scrambled last-ditch effort to achieve the things in life I haven’t had a chance to do quite yet. I scrambled over to my notebook sitting on my desk. It flew open. I couldn’t tell if it was denial that struck me or something real. I could run away and perform all these tasks. A brave adventure awaited me.

As I wrote down my last will and testament, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. After trying so hard, I couldn’t keep fighting so reluctantly, I began to sob. I didn’t want to go! My brother heard me as soon as I hit the floor and rolled into the room. From seeing his fallen, fellow soldier down in the ditches, he used any strength he could muster to leap from his throne. He crawled through his trenches to hold me. I just cried; and he just cradled me.

For a whole hour, I was laying down there as my brother comforted me. He let me cry in his arms until all of the water in my system had been flushed out. He knew there was no point in telling me to stop. I had only one week to live. When the tears were finished, we both sat up against my wooden bed frame. We sat in silence for another hour. He was next to me and that was all that mattered - my battle buddy had my back. No words needed to be spoken because the actions were loud enough. After the time had slipped away, I helped him back into his cushioned chair. When I noticed that he was looking at my notebook, my face began to flush red. He couldn’t see that. 

“What’s that?” Parker questioned immediately. He wheeled over to the notebook before I could walk over there. He was surprisingly fast in that chair.

“Nothing! Shit! Don’t look!” I pleaded. He skimmed the page with his finger. His chair was perfect reading height, unfortunately. I was expecting a long banter with him but when he was finished, he just looked at me in shock.

“Okay. But mom would let you do this,” he nonchalantly said. His words threw me off guard.

“I know. I was thinking of…”

He quickly interrupted me. I could hear the appalled tone in his voice, “Running away? Mom will find you.”

“I know. It sounds really stupid but I need this week. I need to live for once. No chemo. No cancer. Just me.”

“There is so much that could go wrong! You want to go to a high school party and go cliff diving and…”

“I’m doing it. I’m doing all of it. Me against the world,” I said with a smile on my face. I wanted to be a warrior like my mom - braving the world one step at a time. He wasn’t going to stop me.

“No,” he bluntly said.

“You literally can’t stop me,” I chuckled.

“Us against the world,” he sighed, “someone needs to keep you safe. If something happens to you, mom will kill me.”

I was surprised but seemingly not surprised at the same time. This wasn’t a solo journey. Someone would have to tell my story. A broken body and a broken mind running off to war together. This time I would be choosing and that felt freeing. I felt free.

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.