#so if anyone knows how to fix it id really appreciate it

[oifaaa]

I love how dc constantly seems to just be saying “adopted siblings aren’t real siblings” like yes what a wonderful message

This is a problem in a lot of media and real life tbh some people think if two people aren't related by blood then they're not "real" family which as someone who has a brother that I share no blood with I have to call bullshit

[yinwaryuri]

Jack and Joker: The Bank Scene

Happy Monday my friends, we finally are getting our gay heist show! YinWar truly have outdone themselves with the level of quality they've put into it and I couldn't be more excited or more grateful.

I wanted to break down the scene where Joke robs the bank because, given my experience in banking, it's was scripted very purposefully in favor of suspending our belief. Admittedly, my experience is in the US, and not all financial institutions operate the same, but for safety and security measures they're pretty standard across the board.

I was really appreciative of the disclaimer given ahead of time. It speaks to the research that was done for the sake of how much they could accurately portray the events, and when that seemed impossible and they couldn't let go of the scene, they said fuck it - gay story over realism it is. This break down is certainly not to dig at the writing; it's more to buff my knowledge than anything.

We love you YinWar, thanks for having respect for bank employees. Now let's get to the employees I don't respect, and the non-employee that I do.

For the most part, security officers don't need to do more than greet customers, and if there is any suspicion he shouldn't immediately interrogate someone. He's there for when things get escalated, or if there are any faces he should be looking out for (anyone banned from a branch for any reason), then he can confront them. If Joke had made an attempt at another location and that one tipped off others, then he would have a reason to suspect him.

Joke's mistake here: Being seen. He is so identifiable throughout. The show didn't bother checking any CCTVs, but he makes no attempt to hide from them. Instant jail. Sorry my guy. He also chooses a very unusual method and time of day to strike.

Since the officer did confront him, Joke gives an excuse.

This was a good call. If someone from another location or office, or a third party contracted service is coming, the employees would be notified beforehand of whom they should be and during which times. And even if the person is easily recognizable physically, they will have company identification on them, and if the security measures are extra strict, a form of government ID would also need to be shown.

LOUD WRONG ANSWER BUZZER

So what Joke is going to look for is someone who appears less competent. He looks at the older woman who likely has years under her belt and knows he has no chances there. But the girl to her left....

TARGET ACQUIRED

And she's already in trouble.

Oh hon.

That's never a situation I'd want to be in. Calling customers to inform them that there's been a mistake made on their account is never fun and it often is hard to reach them. There are ways of simply correcting the error and informing the person after it's been done just so they know what to expect when they look at the activity on their statement. Whatever the case, she's new, inexperienced, and having a bad day.

The balls he has to say this. Bestie. Have you ever touched banking software.

He's just getting her out of the way. If she had received any proper training and meant to apply it at all, this would've been a red flag. She is trusting the judgement of the security officer. Joke hasn't introduced himself by name and if he meant to help fix the mistake he wouldn't make her leave. It would be her responsibility and a good training opportunity. Instead, this happens....

She's risking so many things! Security within the immediate premises, security of the bank's information, confidentiality of the customers' information (which is literally their government ID, home address, other contact info, ALL of their accounts and activity). Absolutely a bad move.

GIRRRLLLL. That is on you. I saw her hesitate, but in the end just knew it was bad. At least where I've been, that possibly means fines and/or jail time for her as well, depending on the severity (most likely fines though). This poor girl is gonna have the worst confidence about her ability on the job after learning she helped a guy embezzle money. Where's her story?

Joke sends the security guard away, gets behind the desk with Carbon's ID and is likely planning to simply empty his account and leave. Then who should show up but Jack! (Next time please direct him to wait in a queue, your "manager" is supposedly still fixing your little check blunder, remember?)

And even Joke is nervous for a moment because he definitely didn't want to get the cute bartender involved.

Nevertheless, he humors Jack and listens to the bittersweet story of his childhood and his dream of opening a school. I love Jack, I really hope that he is able to open that school someday too.

So this part of the loan process is called the interview. It's where the employee will get an idea of the customer's needs and see if the bank's service is what they're looking for or if there is any particular offers they can make at this time. It's an important process when dealing in person because it will hopefully help the customer know which steps they can take depending upon approval. It's also where documentation is asked to verify what can be approved.

For the most part, Joke's charisma would be fantastic for a banking career because he seems natural at facilitating a conversation that requires someone to open up about their financial needs. He loses marks for not checking actual information, not filing any copies of the information he has been given, not explaining any details about paying the loan down or how having an account works, not starting the account opening process, and the numbers they talk about are vague so we don't even know how much money is in question here (which is probably a writing choice and I'm fine with it).

Instead Joke pulls a Picard and decides to make it so. And flirts at the same time. There's no signage around the branch to speak of this program and he doesn't go into any details, he simply grabs the stamp and seals their fates together.

I do think it's a sweet little change of mind he has. He was simply going to inconvenience Carbon, but what better way to do it (in his mind) than to give the money to the guy who got snubbed because of him?

The office being truly empty does crack me up. Who is supposed to be there and why are they gone? Also, for a bank, that vault is incredibly small. That is a home safe, that is not for securing the assets of the public. Also, most places have updated their protocol to use two people when opening the vault because having two people present also ensures less opportunity for employee theft.

His ass is not wearing gloves!

And, in a final un-bankerly move, he does not count out even the bundles.

FLIRT

I also love that he goes by Joker, but is constantly pulling a Batman exit on Jack.

I feel bad for knowing that I would have absolutely apprehended this man by asking the simplest questions. But I no longer work in that capacity and couldn't give a fuck! Let him do what he wants!

[frankenfran]

Wait id love to ask abt dead dead demon’s dedededestruction… I read the manga and adored it up until the whole time travel fix the timeline save everyone stuff started happening it felt like it really lost the significance of what made everything until then special — how did you feel about the ending?

spoiler warning for anyone interested in dead demon

i don't know, I liked it quite a bit! i can totally see why you wouldn't but. loving someone so much you'd go back and start over just for them, defying time and space just to be with them for a little bit longer even if it's doomed... having that feeling hanging over you, knowing it's not going to last but still. loving her so much you cherish every last minute. that's pretty powerful and in a way it's kind of like the homura madoka situation but it works out in the end. maybe not ideally but it's still hopeful you know? they played games together and had chuuni dreams of being super skilled warriors and then they got to live their dream together. they were a force to be reckoned with and they died in battle. it's tragic but it's still like. that's what they would've wanted! they had each other and their love to the very end.

and even like, in the timeline where kadode is living with her bitch teacher there's still hope. there's a spark there and ontan is keeping it alive. she literally represents an escape that kadode needs and, although it's cliche to say, their love transcends time and space. they would find each other anywhere under any circumstances i believe. the implication that they, in some form from some other timeline or reality, are watching over their alternative selves and making sure they get together is enough to make my eyes well up. i think the implication is that they really did make it somehow and are now making sure every other version of themselves makes it too. i know i already said it but it's genuinely like. what if madoka and homura made it work and it was reciprocal. it's not without difficulties and hardships but when you love someone like that you really would transcend time and space for them.

that's how i feel at least. im definitely projecting a bit but the fact that it's not even like, just implied but actually textual makes it hit even harder. i was crying so much during this damn show and even now after typing it up lol. thank you for giving me the chance to talk about it, i genuinely appreciate it 🥺

[miiilowo]

hey guys so genshin impact has been downloading for like 10 fucking hours nowbecause its downloading 1mb per second which ends up being like. hours long so if anyone knows how to fix it id appreciate the help. I've tried like. basically everything including the like command prompt trick and it hasn't really done much. idk why genshin does this but i kind of like want to gamble my savings (that i don't actually have rn) away instead of just staring at those 2 stupid fuck twins. i don't like this game. related note if anyone knows of a game LIKE genshin that doesn't suck taint balls and cock id also like to know because its so laggy and the updates suck dude and you save for months and end up getting a shit polearm none of your characters can use because you have all sword users on ur team which is LAME AS FUCK but whatever. anyways the new anniversary thing where u get a free 5 star is really cool I'm probably gonna get mona even tho i COULD get a c1 tighnari which would be fun but i don't actually remember what c1 does. i know i like mona tho. also the primogems and wishes are pretty cool. I'm not gonna pull for anyone but that's cause i wanna wait for the leopard girl xilonen i think her name is. i wish this game made her like. tan. because that'd make her hair n clothes stand out more but i really like her rollerskates. anyways send me hate asks instead pls pls pls pls pls please god pls please it'd be so funny

does anyone wanna help this guy witb his Genshin Impact download speed

[eggratgremlin]

FURBY HELP

Okay so I got a furby Baby and it works! But the gears are so so loud and the little guy smells like smoke when he’s on so there’s something wrong

I did research about how to fix it, add silicone lube in the gears. So I skinned the guy but i can’t seem to get the shell off and it appears that you can’t do it without unscrewing the belly speaker with delicate wires so I’m pretty scared about doing that.

ID LIKE TO KNOW IF THERE IS ANY OTHER WAY TO TAKE THE SHELL OFF.

The shell of a baby furby is pretty different from an adult one and I can’t find any videos of how to get the shell off a baby one!

The glue has also seemed to have corroded though the plastic and I’m thinking maybe it seeped into the gears??? But I can’t check that out without taking the shell off

So if anyone has any idea how to help me or can point me to like a furby fixing god that would be really appreciated!!! Sharing the post too might help! Tysm!

[red-bat-arse]

Get High, Get Down

Eddie Munson was a year and a half out from surviving his trip into the Upside Down, and overall things couldn't be better. He'd been taking testosterone, loving up on Steve Harrington, and getting orgasms on the regular. So what's the problem?

Was it that he had a harder time crying, that he needed to eat twice as much as he used to, or that he was horny as often as he had his eyes open? No, surprisingly, and all of those things had cooled off a little in time. Was it that even looking at Steve got him hotter than the hood of the Beemer on a summer day? No, what are you crazy?

Actually, if you must know, it was that he couldn't fucking chill out long enough to take dick and that was pretty much the only thing he wanted to do at the moment.

*I wrote an incredibly horny homage to my own hangups being a transsexual man on T navigating sex -and using grass to do it. Pass by if that's not for you! Here's the first third, the full spicy thing is on AO3*

Link

Listen, the thing about being on testosterone, right, is that for the first couple years you're basically re-doing puberty all over again.

This was something Eddie'd been prepared for ever since he first got to talking to the guys in Indianapolis who'd been on hormones one way or another since the sixties and seventies. It had been a bit of a pipe dream for him given he couldn't see a way out of Hawkins long term, but he still wanted to learn what to expect and what to say to his doctor if he ever got that far.

Eddie knew he'd already got a bit of a boon, since Wayne let him shave his head and change his name after dear old dad got locked up when he was eleven. If it'd been anyone else, Eddie likely would've spent the seven years until he hit eighteen miserable and forced into a pretty pink box, whatever he had to say about it be damned. Certainly his mum's side didn't appreciate having a tranny in the family, but they were all assholes anyway and Eddie was happy to wreck any family gathering where his cousins 'she'd' him -and getting banned when he was fifteen was just a bonus. It's not as if Wayne cared.

But yeah, he moved to Hawkins and became Eddie Munson, and he grew into the freak the town knew him as partly because, well, that's who he was, but also to keep any rumours manageable. Who was going to care about him skipping out on gym when all the jocks spread around that he sucked dick behind the bleachers anyway? Who would notice his voice sometimes going high pitched when he was tired when he'd just finished ranting on a lunch table about forced conformity and bullshit American values? Not the idiots at Hawkins High, anyway.

And everyone was too busy trying to hunt him down and kill him to look into his records before moving in with Wayne -not that any survived the jumping around Al Munson did for the three years he went off the rails once mum died.

So it was a scare, really, when one Sam Owens shuffled into his hospital room a few weeks after everything went down with enough paperwork to put a cramp in Eddie's wrist and a quiet question about the reason his records didn't match his body. The guy pretty quickly backtracked when Eddie's heart monitor spiked through the roof, and reassured him he didn't mean any harm -far from it. He rambled on about proper treatment and government doctors and medical records for a bit, before Eddie cut him off and asked him to spell it out for him before he yelled for one of those said doctors to come and escort him out.

Well, turns out in the matter of replacing the few IDs him and Wayne had that were lost with half the trailer, it came up that the doctors who were overseeing him noticed he didn't exactly have a dick as claimed. Ok, Owens didn't say it like that, but you get the idea. So he was here to figure out what was going on, whether someone was massively messing up on their examination logs, and how to fix it in the quietest, smoothest way possible.

"Well I'm a guy, so jot that down," Eddie said, frankly exhausted, and luckily Owens seemed able to read the room.

Owens talked more about what he'd researched after speaking with Wayne and jumping to some conclusions, a group he'd called out of SanFran that had information on FTM experiences and the few medical advances for them in recent years, and it was all very interesting, really. Eddie didn't even feel weird about confirming it, though he'd never actually called himself transsexual out loud to anyone, and it was a little annoying how Owens nodded along as if he hadn't said anything noteworthy. He was wondering again what the point of it all was when Owens brought out a new folder, much slimmer, and pushed it towards Eddie with a funny little smile on his face.

And just like that, all Eddie's IDs said male on them, and he was set up on a testosterone prescription from an actual real life doctor and pharmacy -apparently natural guys got prescribed shots like that on the regular, who knew? Eddie hadn't ever thought he'd be able to get a doctor to sign off on it, let alone afford it, but all of The Party were being taken care of for the next five years at least, and got handouts besides, so he had time to figure it out.

As mentioned, this all meant that from the summer of 1986 through to New Year's Eve 1987, Eddie'd basically been putting himself through a second, much more wonky and unpredictable puberty. It had it's upsides. He didn't have to pay attention to keeping his voice low, he got a bit of bristly scruff as opposed to faking it with mascara, and even his muscles seemed to shift and sit differently. It was great and if Owens hadn't been part of such a shitty operation Eddie might've sent him a Christmas card over it, he was so thankful.

Of course, there were some drawbacks. He didn't cry as often, needed to eat twice as much, had to buy better deodorant and body wash, to name a few. Oh, and also, he was out of his mind horny with alarming consistency.

Eddie definitely didn't remember Jeff, Toby or Gareth complaining about this shit, although to be fair as a friend group they hadn't ever really talked crushes or embarrassing bodily functions much. He supposed he expected it to some degree, but it was kind of a lot and he didn't exactly have a threshold for normal FTM second puberty milestones here. He wasn't exactly complaining, mind you, because by virtue of gaining his little clit-dick, he was experiencing more orgasms in the average week than he used to give himself in a couple months. It was hard to complain about anything that made him feel that good with little to no drawbacks.

Well, no drawbacks now that he was approaching the two year mark and his libido was cooling off a smidge. No longer was he in danger of an ill-advisedly tight pair of jeans leading him to lock himself in the employee bathroom while on the clock so he could get himself off at lightning speed to work without being distracted -hypothetically, right, that was definitely just a completely made up scenario, one he for sure didn't have to worry about anymore. Again, having a dick was awesome.

So yes, he was horny on the regular. It had cooled off a bit, but he still comfortably got himself off around once a day, more if something set him off thinking dirty thoughts and he had the time to spare. That was preferable to any imagined, totally not even plausible bathroom incidents he definitely didn't need to think about. It would've even been manageable, truly, if not for one small, teeny, tiny, extra little facet of Eddie's journey going through all this after the shitshow that was March '86.

That being that he and one Steve Harrington -of the Loch Nora Harringtons, lately lapsed in residence to the house where Eddie had once sold his wares of grass and grog -were, as of late October, an item. Attached. Going steady. Courting one another in a manner of chaste companionship, if you will.

Was this what Eddie was complaining about? Absolutely not and if anyone implied such a thing Eddie had words prepared for them detailing just how abysmally wrong they were about it. He could barely believe it himself, but he knew a good thing when he saw one and wasn't about to let it go easily. Ever since the anniversary of Vecna's defeat when Hopper hosted The Party out at his cabin and Eddie and Steve ended up pressed together by the fire, the last two awake, too drunk by far, but not drunk enough to stop Eddie from crying into Steve's shoulder, they'd been circling each other. It took a bit, granted, since Eddie was nothing if not self-sabotaging when it came to crushes, but Steve had been braver than him and ended an elaborate series of near kisses that drove Eddie up a wall with a perfect one planted on him in the front room of the trailer after dinner.

It was bliss, a small town gay like Eddie landing a guy as sweet and protective and bitchy as Steve. And even more than that, Steve seemed to be just as infatuated as Eddie was; he'd liked to touch and be nearby when they were friends, but adding romance dialed it up to another level. An arm around his waist, a leg over his thighs, fingers on his wrist or bumping hips, Steve loved being close and Eddie wasn't used to it, but it was fast becoming his favourite thing. Figuring out that Steve loved getting pet-named and blushed to high heaven whenever Eddie complimented him was icing on the cake. Give him the whole box, really.

So what was the problem?

[ssslimyboy]

Pinned Post: Blog Info

- This blog has one mod, @yourelost-itsokay (I started this blog when I was 15!) I am not currently looking for additional mod applicants, but if you really really wanted to, you could contact me on my Discord @/zhyza (or for other reasons too! I'm friendly. I think.)

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- All relationships, platonic or romantic, are tagged for your convenience

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- Speaking of blocking tags: current tws/cws include: #swearing, #food mention, #alcohol mention/#alcohol ment tw, #eating non foods, #kidnapping, #arson/#tw arson, #tw knife, #violence/#tw violence, #barf mention, #animal death/#pet death, #drug mention, #spider mention, #caps lock/#tw caps lock, #tw car accident

- Please do not repost these quotes on other sites such as Twitter or Instagram WITHOUT ASKING. I know that neither the characters nor the quotes are my intellectual property, but I enjoy doing this as a hobby, and seeing other people take credit for it is incredibly frustrating. However, you are your own person, and I can't tell you what to do. I can't prove anything if a similar quote pops up on another site, but I ask that you at least respect me enough not to post a direct screenshot without asking.

- Lastly, if you read all of this, thank you! I really appreciate it.

[saltynsassy31]

no cus i totally understand your frustration, ive also quit splatfests for the moment until they get an overhaul

i suggest if you feel close to getting hateful to either shiver or shiver fans then maybe quit for a while for your own sake cus ive felt a lot better after doing so, im still really sensitive to negative comments towards frye or rude ones about shiver winning but taking some time for myself has made me feel infinitely better

ive been close to hating shiver before bc of how cocky and rude them and their fans can be but it doesnt really do anything but sour your enjoyment of the game more, so its really not worth it

i do have to say though, anyone who says "its just a game" reaaally needs to understand the frustration of people OTHER than them, sympathy is something a lot of people forget about when it comes to things that arent real life. just because it doesnt affect you doesnt mean everyone can shut off their attachment to the game or a character like a light switch; a lot of the time you dont know whats going on with them. i myself am really attached to frye cus i am hashtag autism creature and he brings me comfort, so anyone being rude to me about shiver winning really REALLY gets under my skin. its not entirely (if they were serious, if they werent then its not at all) their fault, but nintendo fixing the frustration of splatfests constantly keeling in one direction (which theyre supposed to do anyways but they havent) would definitely fix the issue. we need to find a way to have nintendo fix this, not attack anyone else for what bundle of pixels and text theyre attached to.

not everyone has really thick skin and if we want splatoon 3 to be more hospitable then we should try to cut down on the general splatfest bullassery in public spaces (being overly cocky and rude/blaming others in a way with no basis or truth behind it). its not something everyone can always do since we arent all perfect, but if we make steps in that direction then we could help more people enjoy the splatoon community rather than being eaten up by toxicity and spite

i didnt word all of this entirely correctly so like interpret ad best as you can cus im eepy but yeah.

a fye for u to enjoy (also ur anon is off btw)

u dont have to but for the sake of not being harrassed id appreciate if u didnt tag with public tags

👏👏 PREACH

I don't want to quit playing it, I do enjoy splatfests, to a certain extent, i like going with my friends and i made a lot of new friends through it, it's like, the online community that I'm having a problem with

I don't hate shiver, I thought I did but I can't, she is still a comfort character (tho Frye is like, my obsession besides being my comfort character cuz I am also part part the 'tism XD), in a way, I like her dynamic with the group at least, she annoys me, yes, very much so, but I don't hate her

And I don't hate people who like her either

Who I do hate is people being mean about it, I had turned off anon cuz of a stupid person who was going around every frye support account anonymously just saying mean stuff and praising shiver as the best, I just forgot to turn it on, so thanks for reminding me 😅

Saying that "It's just a game" is so annoying to, tell that to the football fans, they go just as crazy if not more so

Splatfests are ment to be fun! You should be able to enjoy the splatfest without having to worry about people fighting

I don't like fighting with people, I hate how angry I become, how mean I can sound sometimes, I usually just vent without interacting

At least she won in Japan, so that is one other win under her belt, I just wish she'd win more in the future 😔

Oh also I almost didn't participate in this splatfest either and I did only because I haven't had time to play and I haven't finished my catalogue yet 😅 I usually use splatfests to up my catalogue quicker lmao

Also, don't worry, I won't tag anything that could get you harassed, if anything does happen, please block for your health, I don't want anything happening to you, you seem very sweet ;w;

Edit: also YOUR FRYE PLUSH IS SO CUTE! I've been seeing people get her but idk where to buy her!!!! Where'd you get it? :0

[inklingofadream]

(1/3) Heartbreaking! Here's what I imagine: The gang doesn't know/can't trust anyone, and they can't just go back to their old jobs (it'll take DECADES for Sasha to learn computers again), so all they can do is play boardgames (freshly bought) and debate in circles. Why is Jon avoiding them? What has Jonah done to him? Is he in danger now? (How should they kill Jonah?) Beholding got them back only for them to sit around worried and bored. Jonah recognises why Beholding did this, that Time wasn't

(2/3) a viable solution after all. This realization does not lead to any kind of useful personal development. They were doing FINE. Jon could be happy if he just TRIED. Jon feels terrible because HE did this to his friends and he can't even support them properly. But he's also frustrated and defensive when they try to push him on WHY he seems to prefer the guy they all - to them so recently - agreed was Bad. Danny's especially hurt. Jon walks on eggshells around everyone, and ironically feels

(3/3) more alone than ever. He spirals. Everyone Hates Him. He doesn't want to hurt Jonah. He doesn't want to get hurt by him. Should he just leave for a while? But then he can't keep his friends safe... Also word quickly spreads about Team Blessed by Beholding and the gang has to deal with being creeped on by the entire cult as they're basically THE Apostles of the Messeyeah. No one knows who they actually are though, so people just collectively create a rather unhinged mythology on the spot.

(4/4) Secret message: I honestly don't know if you appreciate long brain-dumping messages like this. If you don't, just don't respond to the three previous asks and I'll stop :) Also, please don't take it as pressure to continue this particular storyline or even to write more in general, I'm just really excited about your whole au thing and I wanted to share the picture it has painted in my brain today. xoxo Jonah ask anon

yesssss love a brain dump, love your asks

The one solid Thing I know happens post-resurrection is that they Can't live in the barracks. Like it's just not feasible. Aside from the fact that several of these people Did Not Sign Up For This and Will try to peace out and make their way in the world (which Jonah obviously can't allow for both control and logistical reasons, they don't have money or ID and they'll probably like. get shot by Robocop idk future struggles) a separate and rapidly-becoming-fancier room(s) next to Jon's is constructed. Like it might be their own mini compound with a separate bathroom/living room/bedrooms but my initial gut instinct is bunk beds. The kind that's a twin on top and a double or queen on bottom, because there are two married couples. Bed 1: Sasha/Michael on bottom, Gerry on top; bed 2: Georgie/Melanie on bottom, Martin on top; Bed 3: regular bunk bed, the Stokers, I think I might actually have stated who was top bunk and who was bottom when they lived in the Institute so it's whatever I said then

That aside, it has a door like Jon's that locks from both inside and outside, and another that connects to Jon's rooms that can only be locked from Jon's side, with a single key only he has. There is Drama about keys, because it's been part of being the Archivist, on the same level as taking statements, for a VERY long time and Gerry Is Coming To Collect. The separate room reasoning is we used to sleep in Jon's room but he's avoiding us and if he isn't here he's with Jonah which is obviously unacceptable, so we need somewhere to clear out to so he'll come back.

I also think one of the things Jonah decides is that clearly they weren't Beholding enough before if they died (ignoring that it Did Not think through stuff like that, this was not on its radar before Jon told it directly) so we need to fix it so it doesn't happen again. He manages enough logic to corner them into New Tattoos, something Gerry designs that goes around their wrists or over their hearts, I think. Because Jonah mixes the Getting Shot By Robocop concern and the Jon concern into Jon being afraid he's just going to lose them again so he's avoiding them.

This does not help Jon's fear and guilt complex! Also, bad news! it's been a long time since Jon got his! Jonah has filled a New Jar Of Eyes! But I think Georgie is something of a blindspot even WITH a tattoo, which Jonah Hates

Also definitely a thing is that the current James-Shelleys are in a super weird position. Like we're past the point of anything beyond "Jon was such good friends with them 🥰" to have been remembered. But there's still a definite family resemblance to several of them. And what do you even do with that? From either end?

And I think Gerry at least is sympathetic to Jon's situation. He's very clear on Jonah having manipulated Jon into it, but he gets How. Vs several of the others having it snag their brains in a way that makes them defensive and passive aggressive and a bit mean. They come around before too long, but it's well past the point where Martin and Tim have become lifelong Complaining Buddies. But Gerry sees stuff like Jonah coming up to see wtf is happening when they arrive and Jon SPRINTING across the room and wrapping around him and recognizes it. It's the exact same way Jon used to try to fuse with HIS side when he was upset or scared. It's a bit less platonic, the image of the gang getting tattoos in my head has Jon fancied up and sitting in Jonah's literal lap bc he's so upset, but it's the same pattern. And Gerry gets a share of the guilt complex bc being like 90 years old is not a good enough excuse for having Abandoned His Best Friend

And I think the thing that eventually resets everyone's view of Jon is Jon not caring if they go in his rooms because he is Gone Gone Gone and Gerry remembering how Jon appeared from between the clothes. Cue a very Scooby Doo searching-for-hidden-rooms montage and some Big Emotions when they find what Jon saved, how carefully it's kept in climate controlled cases and STILL falling apart in many cases. It drives home both that Jon DID miss them terribly- he was literally in there when they appeared- and how enormous the time without them really was.

(cue Beholding FREAKING OUT because that makes them decide they need some Serious Jonah-free strategizing, because obviously he'll try to sabotage them as much as he can without alienating Jon. And the tunnels are right there. And it may not care as much about them, but it tried SO hard to make Jon happy and now they're GONE what HAPPENED Jon is going to CRY!!)

(also "Jon could be happy if he just TRIED" pinged something in my brain, so if anyone is interested in Jonelias-flavored manipulation, heavy Jon whump, and Elias having absurd unreasonable expectations I highly recommend The Haunting of Elias Bouchard it's an absolute gutpunch)

[shadyhouse]

i have to go off of hrt for the first time in three years because i ran out of syringes and i dont have insurance anymore so im going to have to order bulk online but its going to cost $100+ for everything i need. which i dont have because i live paycheck to paycheck. i literally got paid TODAY and it was one of the biggest paychecks ive seen since ive started this job and it immediately had to go to bills.

i cant switch jobs either because i dont have transportation and it's my best option for keeping myself afloat. i cant ask for a raise because it's a retail big box store. like they might give me 10 extra cents to pity me if i don't start a fight about it but it'll never get better than that. every time i look on indeed or whatever it's all stuff thats a 20+ minute drive completely off the bus route like ????

im extremely unmedicated too (not including the hrt lol) so that just makes everything harder to the extreme. im ready to give up. like what else is there for me. there's nothing left. im at the point where i keep thinking i mind as well just move back in with my dad and rot in my old bedroom because im losing faith in myself that i'll be able to get out of this hole. the absolute last thing i ever want to do btw. but if things keep getting worse i dont know if i'll have a choice. and im really really really dreading that outcome. i need to fix my life asap but the system is making it INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to even plan it out.

if anyone knows how to build a budget id really appreciate some help because i have dyscalculia and it sucks to be talked down to about my inability to comprehend numbers, but im really not THAT bad with my finances its just that i made some bad decisions when i had a higher paying job and i'm having trouble pulling myself out of the hole. i can follow a budget if i have one set but i've been really struggling with making it myself. idk. im mad at myself okay im just really upset and i want to fix my life.

this turned into a rambling rant but im in a really bad mood rn and i needed to just. unload. its either this or ugly cry for an hour

[sophsun1]

Okay so I just finished with 5x08 and first off: fuck Justin’s dad. Second of all: damn, i wish that somehow it would’ve been Brian that had to help get Justin out of prison. I just know he’d have something to say but also would be very protective about it. Now: the Ted and Brian conversation KILLED me! The fact that Brian actually admitted all that to Ted? Fuck! I wish i could just give him a huge hug. Also, i love that Brian didn’t end up sleeping with that guy. Aso im glad the bet is over but i will say, the moment when the camera pans to Brian on the plane? I actually laughed so hard. No matter how bad an episode or storyline is, Brian is always funny. The ending got me though ngl. Part of me is confused and the other part is hoping that whatever that means it’s something good for Britin (the you can lock the doors, bar the windows but eventually it’ll get in’ part) he is killing me! Also honorable mentions: i love Lindsey and Brian’s friendship so much, and that moment when he banged his head in the attic before she told him about moving on from his past, if they didnt mention him hitting his head, id fully believe that Gale actually hit himself. And my all time favorite mention, that is actually also a fave Brian moment. I love that there are multiple moments throughout the series, where someone tells him nice things or compliments him or says they wanna help and he goes ‘thats so nice..now what do you need?’ Or like the getting Justin back from NY moment (which btw i still wish we got a little bit of a car moment for the back trip) when Emmett and Ted say theyre going with him because he’s their friend and he says thats nice, now whats the real reason?’ I just love how he always sees through a person and also never takes it as an insult but kinda loves it in a way. Anyway so sorry for rambling about episodes but it’s killing me that It’s ending slowly and there’s no one i know that watched/watches the show :/

Hey anon!

Listen I make gifs for this dead fandom with like three people so I'm basically doing the same lmao you can always ramble at me.

Justin's dad being the same piece of shit he was since day one, disappointed but not surprised. The scene with Ted and Brian is one of my favourite ever moments, Brian's self awareness into how his parents fucked him up so that he cannot love properly without fear <- relatable. This is the angle I wish they'd leaned into for him in S5 can you imagine?! Also Ted and Brian's friendship developing at Kinnetik is so important to me.

Be grateful for small mercies he didn't sleep with him, that's not the blue eyed blonde he really wants.

It is bittersweet because anyone complimenting him in a real way or showing concern he finds it hard to hear, Brian is the caretaker that's his job, he does the fixing around here you flip it on him and he doesn't know how to deal with the vulnerability. So he covers it with wit and sarcasm, and addiction issues. Apart from the afore mentioned moment with Ted, however he said it didn't make him feel better, but it did Ted. He's not one to spill his guts - child of trauma syndrome.

He is an expert on reading people though and advice giver extraordinaire, listen to me, are you listening?

I sympathise with the mourning period coming your way, I'm two years in and it doesn't get any better lmao. I'm still here yelling into the void.

Also your rewatch notes are kinda triggering possible gif parallels so i appreciate it!

[scary-killjoy-kitten]

Elder trans-peoples! I need your help!

So I started binding fairly recently and am having some issues. My chesticals have decided that they want to slide down during the day and i dont know how to fix that.

It’s a gc2b and im pretty positive it’s the right size and nothing is uncomfortable or anything so idk what’s happening. Tbh idk if this is kinda normal (ive never seen/heard anyone say anything about it) and i only know 2 people that bind and they dont seem to have this issue (also it is a slightly older binder so i have yet to have any pain/pinching issues like people are having with the new ones)

So yeah, if you have tips or advice id really appreciate it! Tysm! <3

[dumbbitchfrommars]

im feeling quite a darkness and heaviness at the moment.

lowkey feel like i need to find a psych again, cause im probably gonna spiral soon.

this was supposed to be an exciting time but instead i feel like crap.

everything is always stress stress stress. i always wonder if this is gonna affect my long term health and mental health - constantly being afraid and anxious and stressed.

i am in debt, that should be my biggest concern right now but its not. i dont care at all. which is a huge thing to say considering my capricorn moon.

nothing really feels worth it, nothing is good enough. nothing is ever good enough. when has it ever? i try so hard to appreciate the little things but its like im always masking this underlying lack of appreciation for everything. life is hard. life has let me down so often... i have let myself down so often.

what did life do to deserve these words? lets be honest for once. no one and nothing has done me dirty. its all in my favour and to help me grow. im the one whos resisting and refusing to change.

i have a list of bad habits and thought processes that are limiting me. its a wonder people have the patience and forgiveness for me. i feel like im not really worth it. i guess when it comes to my family theyre just forced to - theyre my family. we live together. of course they will tolerate me.

somehow feeding into my negativity is not helping. i still feel wrong. like its all wrong and im not allowed to feel this way. ive done the wrong thing and im handling it all wrong. what do i do to fix it?

the tarot told me to reach out to others during this time. to communicate. the one thing i suck most at. yet i dont either at the same exact time. ive learnt how to talk about the things that matter. work. work and... fun. but life isnt all about work and fun. theres ugly stuff too. like my inner world and how underdeveloped and unprepared she is for the real world.

im angry and insecure, yes, we already established that. what's deeper? i dont know how to take care of myself. i want to be taken care of. i am scared of being forced to take care of myself. i am hurt because nobody wants to take care of me. i feel abandoned. i feel neglected. my inner child is feeling neglected. my inner child wants so desperately to be looked after.

i went into a black hole and had no one on the outside to look after me. but thats not true, is it? i had someone to look after me. i was lucky enough to have someone who cares about me to look after me. and i wasnt grateful, because i was upset. i felt id received evil eye. i was suspicious and angry and resentful because somehow it all meant that i was less worthy, less pretty, less wanted, less important, less enough. less pretty less thick less curvy less attractive less magnetic less feminine less desired. its so fucking stupid. its so so so fucking stupid. its all stupid. its all a stupid fucking game made by men who want us against each other and want them to be the prize. i am the prize. ive convinced myself im not but i am the fucking prize.

how did i let it get to this? how come it has come to this? when and how and why did it? when i retrace my steps, can i see how i fell into the trap of negative thinking time and time again until the point of no return? i thought i'd be fine as soon as i had time to myself. but the damage has been done and its gonna take a while for me to return to where i was before. i should be feeling on top of the world. i should be feeling magnificent. and proud. and happy. but i feel like absolute shit. i feel so low. and i feel like i cant focus on anything but the worst experiences from the last few months. nothing good only bad. im being frustrating and stubborn and completely negative and childish.

im so angry at myself right now. i dont know how to fix it. i dont know how to get back to normal in time. theres no time. life doesnt wait for me or anyone. but i still need time. how can i show my face to all my friends and put on a smile when nothing is fine inside? i want to say "no, i cant make it" and take the time to recover. but will i even recover? it just becomes another thing to add to the list of things im disappointed in myself over. im a mess. im chaos. im a child throwing tantrums everything her fuse has run out. because im not able to regulate my emotions until they blow over and all of the sudden im reacting and lashing out and doing things i always come to regret.

i hate feeling like im being treated like a child and yet i act like one.

i want someone to look after me and take care of me and parent me and love me.

but can i do any of those things for myself? for another person? i say how badly i want children but look at me. id be a terrible mother. i can barely take care of myself.

knowing all these things does nothing for me. i need to change. i want to change. but i dont want to either. im afraid of how much work its gonna take. all of the sudden im 18 again and completely overwhelmed and cant handle the pressure of all the responsibility life and adulthood brings. im still grieving the old me. im still grieving the childhood i missed out on... im still grieving the childhood i never appreciated.

my life lesson will be to appreciate it.

and still my ears ring and still my head throbs and i cant cry because i am still disconnected from her. i am her. but i cant reach her. shes taken the reigns and is bulldozing everything i thought i once knew.

theres so much to unpack. i want to learn i want to change i want to grow. fuck its so overwhelming. i feel like shit. i feel like a failure. i feel so weak and immature because i just cant do it. i feel so ashamed because i dont want to be this way. i dont want to be treated like a child i just want your respect.. i just want to be respected. i just want to be heard. listen to me! i deserve to be heard. i deserve to speak up. why cant i just fucking SPEAK UP? why wont you give me the space to SPEAK UP? listen to me! listen to me! listen to me! i might be a child but i am still fucking important! listen to me! how could you make me feel this way? this small? this unimportant? this silenced? my anger is valid but its being channeled in the wrong way. its spilling out because i dont know what to do with and i dont know how to integrate it and i dont know how to share it in a healthy way.

okay. i need to sit with this for one fucking second . its all ive been wanting and asking and waiting for for weeks. so let me do that. okay!? give me a fucking break. fuck.

[black--sun]

Ichigo chews the inside of his lip for a moment. He thinks about this enough, he should have an answer on hand, but the truth is that there’s a lot he doesn’t know. “Not sure. We kept our heads down. After the police turned out to be in on things, we tried to stay away from anyone that would ID us. No doctors. No shelters. If anyone’s still looking, they haven’t found me.” It was different in the beginning. There were people asking around about them, but trying to get information out of street kids that don’t generally trust adults would’ve been about as easy as questioning the local wildlife. Even Ichigo hit an age where he started being looked at with less familiarity and more suspicion. Don’t trust anyone you don’t have to is practically the street mantra, and the first thing a kid learns if they don’t want to end up dead or mugged or other things. 

He doesn’t appreciate Shiro’s practical logic. Ichigo gives him a flat look for a long moment. He knows it’s stupid to stay in the same place so long. He knows he should go. But finding another place where no one is going to check in on him or snoop or find him if they’re still looking is a gamble. The idea makes his guts squirm. “I said I’d do it.” Shiro isn’t even pushing, but it feels like he’s questioning the structural integrity of Ichigo’s entire backbone. 

Does he really need to respond to that? If anything, Ichigo's look gets drier. Shiro never needed a reason to mess with him. But his gaze softens and he looks away to hide it when Shiro says he knows. But that next attempt at a sentence and the direction it seems to be headed has his heart thumping a startled beat in his throat. Shiro can’t finish though, and that uncomfortable spark of hope twists to something more common. He pushes a hand through his hair. It’s too long. Yuzu always fixed it for him, but now she’s got school and other things, and he just knows he’s going to end up getting one of the guys that hang around Renji and Shuhei's place to cut it, and he’s going to end up looking like a porn star, and it’s already hard enough for people to remember that whore isn’t his job title anymore. Does he know what Shiro means? It feels like hearing what he wants to hear, and he doesn’t trust it. Funny that even he isn’t on his list on people he trusts. Its dwindled to two, though Urahara is slowly working his way onto it. 

The protective anger that surfaces doesn’t have boundaries. It goes where it wants, and he stopped trying to restrain it a long time ago. He leans forward. “Not babying them isn’t the same as gutting them with words.” Though his sudden aggression dies down, and he doesn’t know whether to hold onto it or let it go at that next admission. He pushes out a breath. “I don’t know what I want you to be. It doesn’t matter anyway. You were never really the conforming type.” Which is a roundabout way of saying he isn’t going to fight whoever Shiro decides to be now. Or he’ll try not to. “They’re better at this than me. I think they’ll just be happy you’re alive.” That’s how Ichigo tried to be. It just wasn’t true. He wanted his brother back, and it took a long time for him to realize what Shiro meant when he said that couldn’t happen. But Yuzu and Karin have already been through this, they have experience.

He watches the glass while Ichigo pours it. This whole conversation even feels a little draining for him and he's not the one taking the emotional brunt of it.

He puts a hand out to block the bottle as it slides back to him. It's very generous of Ichigo to forfeit the bottle, even if it is crap whisky.

"Mm." Makes sense, but he can easily see Ichigo getting stuck here and going nowhere, figuratively and literally. "Does anyone know to look for you at this point? Or do they all assume you're as dead as you're supposed to be?" He has no doubt that there's people around who would kill them as soon as they realized who they all were, but he suspects most of those people probably assume they're long gone. "If you move, couldn't you just tell them where to find you at?"

He snorts, "I would never." Which is, of course, bullshit. He lifts his arms to drop his elbows to the table, using one hand to massage at his temples for a moment, huffing out a long sigh through his nose. "I know." It startles him to realize that, while he can't summon sympathy for Ichigo, and sure as hell can't empathize, he is starting to find a little tiny bit of putty for him. "It's not you." Yes it is. "It's not-" no, it's his fault too. None of this would be happening if it weren't for how Ichigo ran away and left him there that night. "You know what I mean."

Grabbing the bottle, he takes a smaller sip this time. "Say what to them? You said they were grown up, don't need babied anymore." But he shrugs, "I don't know what I'd say to them. I can't be what you want me to be. I definitely can't be what they'll want me to be." Ichigo can barely handle Shiro, the girls... "I don't want to hurt them."

[squeet-smooch]

Tak. Mitten is making me write this version of this note.

I have been feeling incredibly unwell about a lot lately, and over time it has not improved much if at all. I cannot tell what's real, and i don't know if i can even believe what I'm experiencing is a trauma response or a valid observation of my environment.

I just want you to know how much i appreciate everything you've done for me and my system. You've genuinely brought me to such a beautiful, safe, and exciting new environment that i do believe is going to hold incredible opportunities and provide plenty of room to heal.

Unfortunately i am sick, there was never a time where i wasn't. I do not know how to accept kindness or ask for help or even how to verbalize what's going on. I know any message i send is going to leave out major information and i tend to hyperfoxus on the wrong stuff.

But to the best of my ability i do want to talk about and express it, and heal. I want to have a back and forth where we can both be honest and feel better together after, regardless of initial discomfort. Things always feel better after hard talks.

Getting directly into it, i genuinely hold the belief that you're tired of me, regretting everything we've had or agreed to, and do not want me around anymore. I firmly feel like you want nothing to do with me, and have withdrawn mostly purposefully and wish to be more away from me.

I believe I've done nothing but hurt you again and again since we met, and that I'm not the person you thought i was when you spoke about wanting to marry a while back. You did say you wanted to move slow after my February visit, and I'm more than thrilled to gently move forward in an easy, soft relationship where both of us are unsure and loving.

I am getting more and more scared though, that i am right. That now that I'm here, you realize somehow I'm not right for you, and that you would rather break it off or have me take a lot of space from you. I've pulled back significantly, not because i don't want you, or to be close with you, but because i believe it's what is going to help you. I miss you intensively, but the thought of approaching you with it makes me feel like I'm pushing you, like I'm being awful. I feel like i am encroaching on all, every single one of your boundaries and proving to be a terrible roommate, just as i feared before moving.

I worry about tossing and turning every night, keeping you both awake, so i come to the bed very late after I've exhausted myself so i know i won't move so much, or after I'm sure you guys must be in deeper sleep. Or i don't come in at all. Because i am not accustomed to sleeping with anyone, certainly not since kaleb and even further back to when i was very small, where i was ridiculed for essentially sleep fighting.

I cannot rest. Although it is all i have time to do anymore. I feel as if I'm losing resource after resource, and I'm terrified yet i cannot ask to fix it.

The pool is closed, probably will be til next year. My heart breaks over it but what kind of immature person would i be if i didn't cope? I've been out of deodorant for a while now, and i would be okay just to borrow Tailgate's that he said i could use, that he left here, until i could buy my own, but it's low too. I'm low on shampoo, and also conditioner but obviously that one is not near as important as soap and i have replacements for that if i really need it. I lost my ID, which i desperately need for literally everything. I lost use of my sunflower debit card because of a simple mistake that was very avoidable. Things like this keep happening and i am extremely triggered by it all the time.

I feel constantly triggered like that. Like somehow I'm still not safe, like nothing i own is safe and no matter how hard i try i cannot protect my things or the people i love.

I also truly believe that any mention of any of my issues is not only irrelevant, but inappropriate. Regardless of what it is or reason for sharing, and while i did say something triggering over message and you did use a gentle tone indicator, it feels to me like proof of a bigger issue.

Too much of what makes me, me is something that triggers you terribly. My identity itself is just something that doesn't line up with your lifestyle and i don't know how to find compromise, i do not know how to keep both of us safe. I want to make you happy and i am sick to my stomach thinking that i cannot. Despite anything.

I don't even know if you'll see these words, i don't know if we'll be able to talk, or when. I don't know if i have the strength to tell you anything. I have been trying to get a chance to talk for weeks now and things just get harder.

I want us to be close again. I don't want to come off as jealous or needy but i want to be physical and affectionate and cuddle, hold hands, kiss, anything at all again. I feel like I've already lost you and everything wrong right now is all my fault. But again, i can't even tell if it's real. It feels entirely real to me. I cannot see past my own nose and the pain that burns my organs out, but it very well could be the cortisol my body has come to rely on. The trauma response that kept me around for 22 years. Everything is too big and i cannot carry it, I've always carried it alone and had to make it through. I know im not supposed to believe that's how it is now, but i still do. I don't know how to see recovery anymore, and I'm scared you're going to see me as anti-recovery and toxic if i give in. I never just give up on my healing, that's a code of honor I've pledged with Mitten time and time again, and we dont betray each other. But i do feel stagnant, and that I'm backpedaling into some really dark territory. I don't want to backpedal, i don't want to possibly relapse into my darker mindsets and coping mechanisms, but i cannot turn it off. I cannot ease it and nothing has been helping.

Words of reassurance from everyone around, all the time, including you a lot, but i don't feel like you guys actually believe in me. And you're waiting to be proven right about quiet thoughts you carry.

I'm irresponsible. I'm mean. I'm selfish and needy and ignorant. I'm careless. I make everything about myself regardless of anything. I feel like no one truly respects me or ever could. And i just don't know what to do or think or say.

I've written again and again to try to verbalize things, I've tried to gently start conversations or ask if i could help in some way, how to improve whats so unwell right now, but nothing is coming out correctly and it just feels worse than it has this whole time.

I'm very sorry for every way I've possibly hurt you, and I'm sorry if what I've said is ever unwarranted or wrong. I love you with my whole heart and i hope that things can improve soon, and quickly. You deserve better than this. (And Mitten insists that i do too but i can't help but struggle to believe that)

[ratrap]

I'm so so proud of you dude, telling her in the first place was still a major step towards getting your life back!! (And I think the clothes thing proves pretty well to me and presumably her how fucked up all this has been and how he's been blatantly lying to you about liking you as you were, yikes.) Doesn't have to be all fixed at once but any little bit of progress towards not being completely on your own with this shit is something to feel accomplished for.

thank you youre too nice to me. Sorry i havent replied im just struggling a bit with things. I tried so hard to lose weight way before and not that i really got healthy before my mum passed anyway but now none of it matters anymore. my clothes are so small im getting too embarrassed to put them on. i feel gross and it makes me not want to go out. i say to him i want to get new clothes but he doesnt. listen I cant keep putting up with this im so unhappy. and because i dont even think i had a life before im not even thinking about anything good in the future. ughhh I have been really upset about my weight and life in general it makes me wanna give up so maybe i can see my mum again I am still on my own nobody would even care if i wasnt here except for him, which gives me all the more reason to not want to be here. My cat is the only thing that makes me not want to die lol. My life is pathetic and so am i. Im so sad and stupid that i let this happen to me all over. the only reason i told her at all was because he had done stuff in my sleep again after again I told him im tired of being like this and then took a video of me while im upset, and i was still mad about it the next day when i went. Hes been waking me up to make me drink milkshake or ice cream and he makes me eat this spoonful of oil stuff i dont even know what it is and he recorded me drinking it while embarrassing me so if anyone likes that and you see footage of a fatass idiot crying that is me. I think he thinks because i have mental health problems that i dont understand i dont know. Im so upset every day i dont enjoy anything, i feel like such a disappointment and embarrassment to my mum and i dont even want my aunt to have to look at me she will be grossed out if she had to look at me nevermind let me live with her. thank u for caring and dont feel obliged to message me okay. I appreciate your concern and everything im just lonely rambling at like four in the morning. If whoever sent me the ask about housing or something sees this i would appreciate the link to whatever it was you were going to send me before i think you can send them in asks id like to at least look at it cause I have no idea what im doing 😞