#so idk whats on the outside in the inside or something | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

msnihilist · 29 days

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Hey, what you think about that Cosmo and Wanda call Timmy "precious gift" like in special "abracatastrophe" when he have 8 old by his parents?

I don't think that Cosmo and Wanda should imitate anything that Timmy's parents did, tbh.

#fairly oddparents #ask #anonymous #i hate when people call their children ''gifts'' idk just something about it rubs me the wrong way #maybe on account of petscop..... huh #gifts are objects that are pretty on the outside and you don't know what's inside of them #something about calling a kid a ''gift'' is like... well. when are you going to open it?#when are you going to accept that your child is a person with depth and not just a shinny trinket to wave around?#especially since timmy's parents filmed and photographed him CONSTANTLY as a small child it's like??#okay so you like LOOKING at a kid but do you people know the first thing about him?

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year

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I think a lot about Dean and how he molds love to fit around violence and control to explain his actions to himself. I think a lot about how Soulless Sam said he needed help and Dean beat him unconscious. I think a lot about Dean believing Sam’s hallucinations lured him off and how Dean greeted him with a punch to the face. I think a lot about Dean locking Sam up in the panic room to detox or die. I think a lot about how Dean hurts Sam when he thinks he’s in danger, especially when that danger is coming from within Sam.

#there’s so much wrong with him lmao. I love it.#when the threat is coming from the outside Dean can turn his anger and violence onto it accordingly #but when the threat is inside Sam? when the threat might even just be Sam? wires get crossed and Sam gets clocked across the jaw.#I mostly think about the punch in the Amy episode though. that one will always make me ill #by Dean’s on admission for all he knows Sam is having another pyschotic break. and the last one ended with him waving a gun around.#for all Dean knows the devil is in Sam’s head tormenting him. and then when he sees him. he punches Sam as hard as he can.#and. like. I guess he did learn that pain drives Lucifer out last episode. I guess he could just be making use of that knowledge quickly.#but like. he’s also been visibly frustrated and annoyed by Sam being traumatized in front of him.#and a lot of it is powerless. he couldn’t save Sam. this is not something Dean can fight.#but you know. what can he do? punch Sam in the face. take his car back. take the strongest control of the situation he can by killing Amy.#idk. idk. scenes that literally make me ill but also I can’t stop thinking about it #dean winchester #spn

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abrahamstalker · 4 months

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More Banban redesigns.

I'm working on Flynn, don't know who to so after that.

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sea-jello · 11 months

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Day 27/October 27: Swim || Hide || "I'll just stay inside."

oh my GOD i started and finished this in a day almost NONSTOP i told myself oh it’ll just be a sketch or doodle or something you probably won’t have the time or motivation to do it really detailed and I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND WHAM 5 HOURS GONE

flat plus closeups

i pray cropping the pictures doesn’t crunch them

#i kinda like it actually #i love dramatic contrasting lighting #my goal was to make morro and the deck dark and shadowy and gloomy in contrast to the ninja bright and having fun outside #but i don’t think that really came through #i PRAY it doesn’t desaturate PLEASE #WHY IS IT ALWAYS SO DESATURATED ON MY COMPUTER #i’m not very sure where morro is tbh #beach house?? he’s definitely sitting on a deck or balcony of some sort #the way my brain works is i read the prompt and the idea flashes in my mind clearly but not clear at all #so i have to sit there and unblur the gaps in my mind like ai autofill #all i knew was he was sitting at the side on a deck or balcony or a similar surface elevated above the beach #or maybe hes inside looking out the window but i went with outside #point is we see his back and hes leaning on something #and hes looking out at the ninja having fun in the water #in an ideal world the ninja would be actually drawn and detailed but this is not that world #sorry i didn’t try for zane i had no idea what to do and i needed to spread them out #idk how to draw beaches or water so once again morrotober forcing me to try new things #thats a good thing actually cause it forces me to improve ish #shoutout to the beach palette on hipaint idk what i wouldve done without you #ninjago #lego ninjago #morro ninjago #ninjago morro #morro wu #morrotober #morrotober2023 #morrotober 2023 #i’m not gonna tag the ninja #jellos scribbles

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codacheetah · 4 months

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I can't believe I made a post abt Loop's biology and didn't talk abt their guts. Sad

#I have thoughts and opinions about what's inside that beast #i already disagree with the post i made diagraphing their loop goop #you kno how liek #when caterpillars turn into butterflies they dissolve all their guts into mush #i feel like loop is like one of thoss butterflies that came out the chrysalis 70 percent baked #theyve got weird masses in em that take the vague shape of organs but they barely connect to each other #and dont serve much of a function anymore. they can breathe but the air doesnt flow anywhere #they can get hungry but they cant eat and the feeling passes quickly #they have a heartbeat but blood doesnt flow inside of them. empty shell of a muscle pumping inside them #most of their insides is just Ambiguous Star Goop #have you ever cut one of those squishy stim toys open and poked the weird slime inside #it's like that i think #if you cut loop Something bright would come out but i would hesitate to call it blood #Ok anyways I want to vivisect that beast so badddddddd #Loop if youre ever outside of the screen and in my area. call me I can treat u right #(stick needles inside of you)#ask to tag #<-this post feels like it needs a tag but idk which one tbh #loops an interesting critter. im intrigued by their functionality

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princeofhags · 11 months

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I did the thing

#this took me a while trying to DECIDE #oc: iraestra #oc: balam #ot3: he is the tender butcher who showed me the price of flesh is love #and a few of these have weird explanations behind them but balam is horniest most violent sluttiest wants to see insides be their outsides #irae more wants to see their insides to study and put in a little jar on her shelf #but like gort views himself as acting for the good of the gate and the sword coast hence the slightly more selfless leaning here bc this is #about how they view themselves #though in that case irae would probably view herself as very selfless bc she is doing this for her family and revenge in their name #the most baseline explanation of this is that irae is a mykrulite under ketheric but thinks that he is becoming old and ineffectual #and losing himself in his grief and beginning to doubt that he can uphold his end of the dead three pact and there's plans to replace him #and orin finds out about it when she tadpoles balam and iraeis tadpoled as well or somethng. might change that storyline around a little bu #considering irae having a group of myrkulite cultists who answer specifically to her and pay lip service to ketheric or idk sometttthingg #throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks #didn't feel assed trying to draw balam or gort so you get these #also yes that's a leapord gecko not a salamander but we'll ignore that #also unsure how i feel about gort age but i just threw something in there #half the time spent on this was just editing it for 3 people #lamia muses

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piplupod · 3 months

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are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me

#i feel like absolute shit rn fsdjkl #i think i talked too much today even though i barely spoke at all #but every time i talked someone else had smth to say and then the leader guy had to keep coming back to me like ''what were u saying?''#which was rly nice of him but like. if i just kept my mouth shut then he wouldnt have had to do that at all fdjskl #i mean like. he did ask me questions directly a few times. so he was trying to help me have opportunities to speak #but fsjkl i just. i feel bad for talking bc i know everyone else wants to talk constantly #and i can do without speaking fsdjkl i just... i kept stumbling over my words so badly and it was rly embarrassing ;-;#but i'd get nervous and panicked bc i knew i'd be interrupted at any second so i was just trying to find the shortest way to say my thing #but then i'd trip over my words bc i was so nervous and it'd take too long #and i just felt like i wasn't putting enough effort into my tone so i probably sounded rly flat today and i just. urgghhh #holding my head and tugging at my hair. why can't i just be normal dgjkl why am i so fucking annoying and weird and difficult #i dont know 😭 today was rly difficult bc i was just feeling kind of awful and like i was in the way all day #i did find some yarn colours i need at a flea market though and also some dip pens that i've always wanted to try #i figure $3 is a steal of a deal to try out dip pens instead of buying them brand new for like $30 fdsjkl #so there was something good from today! i just feel like i was annoying to be around all day idk fdsjkl #i honestly probably was totally fine sdfjkl i just. argh #and i hate going to stores w the centre bc i end up following the group leader around after a while bc i dont ever buy anything #i look around at the stuff i like to look at and then i am done and don't want to be a nuisance by being hard to find when everyone-#-else is done so i just figure sticking by the group leader is the best idea. stores dont like when i hang around the front for long fdsjkl #but then i just feel like a weird little kid trailing after their parent 😭 i wish i could just be an AdultTM but augh augh augh #what a fucking weird thing for me to do dsfjkl i just. dont know what else to do bc stores get annoyed w me if i wait at the front #and i dont want to wait outside bc then they'll forget im out there and look for me inside when theyre done LMAO #if i had income then maybe i'd be able to spend longer looking at things but fdsjkl theres only so much looking u can do when u dont buy #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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anthromimicry · 4 months

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forever thinking about how, according to maslow's hierarchy of needs (or simply the self-actualization pyramid) that is basically this motivational theory in psychology that's made up of a five-tier model of human needs, that misao went from being on the third tier in her childhood to reverting back to the first tier currently which is food, water, warmth, and rest.

[ here's a picture of it for reference, y'all ]

so, in other words... she is just trying to survive SO badly right now at this point in her life, that she can not even worry about things like safety or security and especially not friends. and that is UHH... i might, or might not be sobbing right now

#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#it takes the fact that misao has just been trying to focus on satiating her most basic instinct (to feed) to a whole NOTHER level tbh ;;#like idk what to say besides i am in pain thinking about how lonely she must be especially at night whenever thing's are quiet and-#she doesn't have anything to distract her from the fact that she has no one to depend on and no one who absolutely NEEDS her.#and of course her refusing to at least try to overcome her fear of vulnerability may play a part in this... but you have to remember that-#misao has never had the proper time nor the space to just focus on herself. to just focus on what she wants but i am in no way trying to-#demonize ryuuji or kaiyah here because that would just be wrong... i'm just saying that she doesn't really know who she is you know?#i mean when she isn't around other people and taking care of them. she genuinely DOESN'T know because that is what misao has done for most-#of her life until about 400 years ago or so?? yeah. and so misao turned to doing something that would fulfill her but not in ways that-#would attribute to her mental well-being. just to her physical well-being and misao may appear to be this super-friendly as well as-#confident person on the outside but i feel as if misao feels like she's broken inside because she cannot get out of the cycle of pushing-#people away when they get just a little bit too close to her. and it's like 😭 i mean yes she does have a LOT of trouble empathizing people-#because she has to fake being able to put herself in other people's shoes most of the time but misao kind of wishes she wasn't that way.#because it DOES isolate her from the rest of the population because misao feels like she just... doesn't get it. like she's missing-#a fundamental part of herself that people like ryu seem to have but she has been cursed with being perpetually alone both by her own hand-#and because of just how she is.

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xcziel · 7 months

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got a bunch of little baby plants and am doing some repotting but damn i have a hard time remembering which ones can't have direct light

all but a few of them are low light types because i don't like window or overhead light (i am a cave gremlin)

but some of them need at least indirect light and i'm trying to get those situated well to the french doors (also i bought another seasonal fern bc i am weak and it's hogging a bunch of the space)

some of the tiny ones are barely hanging on and idk what to do else besides sun+ water

i thiiiink it's the tiny peperomia, the mini spider plant, and the aglaonema that really need out of the direct sunbeams and the couple of little succulents that need moved in more

the one snake plant that i haven't watered for six months needed a bigger pot so i upgraded it and i hope it takes it well. the bitty pearl pothos doesn't need a bigger pot but less sun and more drainage i think, so it got a new pot too

why do i get tempted by plants when i hate natural light so much? i did buy a *little* grow light for the corner though

i need plants that are ok with just ambient low light - the sansevieria is out of the window reach entirely but has been putting up fresh green shoots? the big peace lily keeps unfurling new leaves in the dark corner as long as it gets plenty of water?

but the other peace lily that was by the window is crunchy now and idk how to rehab it (still green? and not wilted but the leaves are crunkly so)

also i seeded some rosemary and sage and they are sprouting but the mint did not come up at all ://

#someone stop me from buying more snake plants just bc they survive #i killed my poor desk philodendron idk how and the diffenbachia too #i need more idiot proof plants but i keep having hopes when i walk past the racks outside the store #i need a palm or something tall for the living room across from the peace lily that just gets a tiny bit more light #also i want a billion succulents but one outdoor one died and its still hard to restrain myself #i need plants that light 60watt lamp light for by the bed where no natural light reaches lol #but also i need an explanation of where this indoor plant hunger comes from #i have a yard but everything out there dies come the months of baking heat #and only the grass really comes back - it's going gangbusters in the empty plant bed right now where nothing else seems to grow #(but weeds)#and if i have to bring the plants in for the summer they can't need bright light which is what they would get on the porch #also i don't want to bring bugs inside quite frankly - the spiders are enough for me (the gnat or two is too many)#i need to figure out how to get my pothos to be fluffier again rather than super leggy it's ridiculous #plant whining #i desperately want a ficus and i'm so afraid i can't keep it alive #i am very attentive for a while but then there will be a period where i keep thinking 'i will water tomorrow' only it can be almost a week #mainly i think the tap water is not great and i now i want to water with filtered water but i think i keep using more water than i should #why can't plant-coddling instincts be inherited? i just don't have that 'feel' for exactly what they need like my mom

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rainingincale · 5 months

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Why is being a living exisiting human being so very confusing 🙃

#my brain is genuinely the worst place on planet earth ahaha!!#anyways the story that is bringing this on is actually nice i suppose but im exhausted so. let me just get into it and perhaps the dilemna #will make itself more aparant.#basically i hate interacting with people. its exhausting. like genuinely just takes so much brain power and social battery from me. even for #simple things. anyways so im telling someone this in my usual jokey way “im being tortured and kept outside of my home where i could be #chilling with a book“ so the other person is like oh you cant stay inside forever and ever. but then goes on to say from interacting with me #theyd never have guessed that i have such a hard time with talking and hanging out with people. that i never make someone feel like im tired #them or dont wanna talk to them etc. and internally im screaming because like. that is something i stress out so much about because i strugg #le so much with my responses and tone etc etc. thats why its so exhausting for me because im just constantly focussed on what im Supposed to #be like. the other part of me was kind of pleased in a way because i feel so painfully awkward that it stresses me out that people can see #right through me and think that i hate them when its not that i just. hate human interaction because its so tiring. so hearing that was like #oh so no one can even tell and i am stressing. for nothing. dw though this info will not help my brain learn to stop stressing out though #lmao. anyways final point i suppose is that the person also says that even if i am 'awkward' i sort of use it to my advantage and it doesnt #come across in an unsavoury way. anyways idk what to do with all this info. because the way i feel on the inside is so. and i worry a lot #about people seeing that on the outside. but part of me sort of wants it too because i just feel like absolutely no one fucking knows me?#and while i guess that was maybe my goal i also hate it? i shall rb a quote after this. anyways. idk what im saying. i dont fucking know. im #just so tired. so fucking tired.#le text post

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helloitshaley · 7 months

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pretty sure the crazy bitch that threw a fit when I asked her to sign something (as per the people she is going to see!!!!) Just walked in and the intercepted her right away..... I'm going to be so fucking nice to her when she walks out in a malicious way

#like she told them i was rude last time she was here #when there were witnesses to her bitch fit in the waiting room #thankfully I was backed up when the woman she was seeing fucking confronted me about it!!!!!#who the hell gets that bet out of shape over signing something in the waiting room #like you do in every fucking office ever!!!!!#then to say that I was rude?????? because I just asked her politely to sign the thing then explained thats what the people wanted????#the botox sure isnt fixing the ugly on the outside so idk if there any hope at all for her ugly insides

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genderjester · 5 months

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So many of my paintings in sone way boil down to. Im a body. I am scared of not being in control of myself. I have a body. I am scared that it will betray me. I love my body. I wish i could perceive it in its entirety.

#its so hard to properly put into words. i think about the flesh every day.#being a body. owning a body. what does ownership mean in that context. loving your body. hating your body.#your body as the only avenue for ur consciousness to interact with your surroundings #your body as the only way for your consciousness to exist in the first place #the knowledge of being a construct of flesh that just grew and became a person #idk man i think abt this all the tiiiime.#it's pretty fucking magnificent #the perspective we have as ourselves is also so. like physically. we have a first person point of view #but we look out of our body. theres parts of our body we could never see without a mirror or photography #inside and outside #if reföective surfaces didnt exist we would never know our own face and we also dont know what our organs look like or our bones #bc looking at those necessitates a certain degree of violence #the discovery of anaesthetics and sound surgical practices is so crazy actually like the fact that we can cut each other open #and fix something. reattach body parts. remove things.#it's so fucking wiiild to me. the fact we can put a dead person's organ into a living person to help them.#idk man it's just sooooooo #sel talks

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coldvampire · 1 year

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My car is parked in the street & covered in sap, meaning it needs a wash. Unfortunately this sap has also attracted a legion of Wasps to just hang out on it so. That’s what’s stressing me out today.

#I literally don’t know what to do djfkg I got Into the car #but got freaked out when I saw them crawling all over the outside (drivers side didn’t have any & I didn’t see the hood on approach)#and had to call my mom to come outside and shoo them to make an escape djfjfk #I think if I wait until the evening. it should be better?? they’re less active then at least #and yes these are wasps the ones that will remember my face if I fuck with them. which is Delightful #idk maybe there’s something I can put in the car to deter them. they’re not inside but they can smell things really good so it might help #and no parking away from trees isn’t an option.

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missshame · 1 year

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I'm feeling like shit and I'm 24 with no idea how to make me feel better lol

#I feel like I should have figured out something but I have no clue #Like I go outside or exercise or whatever and sometimes it helps but sometimes it doesn't and Idk why #And now that I'm thinking about it for years I would just self-harm but now I kinda stopped but I don't know what to do instead #Sometimes I drink or smoke but that's kinda the same I guess?#And I'm not allowed to smoke anymore and I don't want to drink probably because being drunk in the afternoon doesn't seem exciting anymore #So what do I do #I literally don't even know if I want to be inside or outside lol like I don't think I want to be at home with my parents but where would #I go #Anyway

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fooltofancy · 2 years

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havin' legs is too much, today.

#dysphoria is so weird and disruptive in all possible ways #it took me a long time to figure out what this even was because id only really thought about dysphoria in gender terms #and thats not it #its just physicality and i hate it #something something body tries to kill me whenever i stop looking at it for two seconds #can't trust this bitch #spent a lot of time separating it from myself so that i could deal and possibly that wasnt healthy lmao #the bitch is me unfortunately #need to do laundry need to idk Be A Human Outside Of The Apartment but like not even sure how to Be A Human Inside The Aparment #need to be. a sheet.#on a clothesline #also sleep more it's weird in here

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#looking at the notes ppl in the lab let me on my birthday card. it seems ppl think i should chill the fuck out lmao #a lot were like RELAX!!! and ya kno objectively theyre right but i refuse to listen bc theres something wrong in my head #sigh. i survived the day at least. the timed measurements r done on this experiment. thank christ. and my birthday gathering as so #i dont kno. it was kinda funny and kinda sad i guess. bc i knew it was gonna happen and i didnt want it to but i was like fine. ill meet #at 4. and i expected it to b in the conference room but they set up outside the lab around the corner. so they did kinda surprise me #location wise i guess. i cant imagine what expression i was making. it felt like a pained smile but idk. i had to go back to take #measurements every 4min so i was standing there with a plate full of ice creame cake. kinda away from everyone while they talked. staring #at my phone timer as it ticked down and abruptly leaving when i had to log a measurement. i was basically a non entity while there. which #was kinda idea bc i have too much hurt inside to talk to ppl right now. as evidence by my phone call with my parents when i got home. im #just kinda a bummer to exist around rn. idk maybe i should apologize to my boss bc i kno im not an easy person to do things for #and i really do appreciate the effort. its just hard when i kno how much stress its going to cause me for someone to attempt to do #something they think will b nice. so idk i just feel bad. but its over. and idk what ill do tomorrow. i should do stuff for when i move #like my dad was like: u should prioritize ur future stuff. and hes objectively right. they think i should get a studio apartment which #would b expensive as fuck but i will destroy myself if i have roommates. idk. theres lots still to do bc i have to get a ton of data #processed by the end of the week bc i have 8 days of measurement on another project that needs to get done by may 14th when i leave for #vacation. which my mom was like did u buy ur tickets for next month and i was like. hm how do i ask where im supposed to buy tickets to #without giving away that i dont kno what ur talking abt? bc apparently im going to a wedding? wtf do i wear to a wedding?#idk. i guess im just kinda sad bc this month has been really hard. i made it hard for no reason bc theres something wrong in my head and #that hurt has nowhere to go bc i cant even give anyone an honest account of how awful it was bc its like what r they gonna do abt it?#anything i say is just worrying bc i cant seem to stop myself who whats the point in talking abt it. but idk humans r social creatures so #when im in pain at least part of me wants someone to brush my hair and acknowledge my pain and tell me itll b ok #but idk. the idea of that happening is different from the reality where i seem to opperate at a different frequency to other people. we #just dont seem to properly connect. idk. idk what ill do tomorrow. im afraid to loosen my grip on my schedule bc i might fall to piece #pieces without the pressure. well see. lets home my 26th year is better than my 25th was. bc last year sucked #hope* lets hope that was my low point. bc that was not a fun time and im worry to take account of thr damage done #unrelated

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