#so idk this just strikes me as picking an argument over not much but again

[acescavern]

GAME OVER - LEE JENO X READER

GAME OVER

Navi - m.list

Pairing: Lee Jeno x Fem! Reader

Theme: Hint at college au! This is the same paring from my fic ‘Quiet’, fluff, smut, hint of angst? Crack maybe?

Synopsis: When your boyfriend invites you over to his place only to ignore you to play games with his friends all evening, you decide to go out and celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday instead. Jeno never minds when you go out to clubs and bars… only when a specific Loverboy doesn’t tend to leave your side all evening. 

Warnings: Lots of swearing, Probably over use of many variations of ‘fuck’, Big dick! Jeno, Pierced! Jeno, Possessive!Jeno, A hint of angst?, Jealousy, Jaehyun clearly likes you allot regardless of your boyfriend, He’s kind of a subtle dick?, the reader and Jeno are sort of in an argument, Unprotected sex, Exhibitionism ( They fuck in the restrooms and Jaehyun is outside), fluff at the end, Jeno is a smug little shit, marking,  idk what else. 

Word count: 2,698

Note: Hey my lovelies, another Jeno fic! I’m going to attempt to have all the NCT fics I write to be in the same universe. So, when Set Me Free is released it will fall in with this fic too even though it’s Intern!Mark. I know I said that last Jeno smut would be the one and only smut i do but honestly when inspiration strikes - you just gotta. I made the dividers and the header on Canva. Feel free to send asks about my fic characters. The spice is very brief in this one, i apologise - I didn’t want the smut to be too detailed. It's still my longest of the three i've published so far. I feel like my 'writing rust' is curing slowly? I apologise for any grammatical errors

Reblogs and feedback are appreciated! 

“Are you sure the exit is covered, Mark?” Jeno heard through the device in his ear. 

“For the last time, Yes,” Mark grumbled in exasperation, as he scanned the surroundings. 

Jeno could only chuckle, observing from his characters spot on a nearby rooftop. His thumb slowly moved the left analog stick to change the camera angle and look around once more. “Chenle, on your left - there’s Hyuc-” He abruptly called out, voice raising with the excitement.

“What? Fucking whe- Shit!” Jeno had to pull one of his earphones out at the enraged screech that followed, Chenle shouting for Renjun to come and revive him. 

One game soon turned into two, then three, and now four. And it was as if Jeno had forgotten all about you for the moment. You, who was sprawled out on your back, boredly counting each line of profanity you heard your boyfriend boom down his mic. This wasn’t what you had in mind when Jeno asked you to come over after class. You’d hoped that he would opt out of squad night and spend some alone time with you - seeing as you hadn’t really had much time to yourselves since way before the camping trip last month, and whilst you loved his friends like family there was only so much of their company you could take.

You lazily picked your phone up from the floor, responding to a few messages until you hovered over the most recent one. “Coming out tonight? It’s Xiaojun’s birthday.” Your thumbs hesitated in typing out a reply, chin tilting to glance over at your boyfriend, who showed zero signs of stopping his game. As you stood, your knees and ankles groaned in protest from being sprawled out on the fuzzy rug for hours. 

“Jen..” You called out, shoulders slumping when the other didn’t respond. “Jen!” You repeated louder, unable to keep the hint of annoyance from your voice. Jeno jumped, he would never admit it but he almost forgot you were there. He removed an earphone, muting his mic to turn toward you. 

“Yes, Baby?” He hummed, raising a pierced brow. He hadn’t caught on to the clear boredom in your expression, nor the dejected tone to your voice as you spoke again. 

“I’m gonna head out, Ten invited me out for Xiaojun’s birthday.” You explained, Jeno’s eyes creasing at the corners as he smiled at the mention of the two. 

“Make sure Ten don’t go home with Johnny again.” Was all he said, already beginning to turn back to his computer. 

You couldn’t believe that was all he said, he didn’t even offer to go with you nor drop you off. You stood there for a moment, left eye almost twitching in anger at the whole situation. You weren’t a clingy girlfriend, you never demanded to be with Jeno all the time. It was quite the opposite actually, but there were times when he acted like this and it got to you. All you wanted was some one on one time.. 

Deciding to forego the impending argument for tonight, you shuffled closer to him to press a kiss to his forehead so you didn’t disturb his game. “You’re coming back here, right?” he mumbled, not even waiting your answer properly before a harsh “You fuck head, Hyuck!” escaped him. 

With a mumbled ‘sure’, you gathered your bag and left him to it.

Jeno hadn’t even realised how he was acting. He still continued gaming with the guys for at least two or three more hours. He stretched his arms above his head on a groan, clicking his spine as he twisted in his chair. “Mark, pick another game. This one’s getting too easy to beat you at.” He snickered smugly. 

“You seen Hendery’s story, Jen?” The voice sounded almost devious. As if Jaemin was in on a secret nobody else was. 

Instead of answering, his hand swiped up his phone from beside his keyboard and swiftly unlocked it with his thumb. Jeno found Hendery’s profile and tapped on the story. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. It was you, Xiaojun and Jaehyun. The later, Jeno wasn’t particularly a big fan of… okay that was a massive understatement. Quite frankly, Jeno hated the way the man looked at you. He knew Jaehyun had asked you out a few times, before you and Jeno had gone public, and whilst he knew you turned him down everytime… he also was very much aware of how persistent the older man could be. Not that Jeno didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his life but Jaehyun however? No.

Jeno’s gaze drifted over your frame in the picture, his breath drawing in sharply. “Fuck me…” he cursed. The dress you were wearing had him frozen in place. 

A short little black number, ending way too high up your thighs for his liking. Jeno could clearly see from your side pose that it was backless, the halter strings of the dress tied in a perfect bow at the back of your neck. The front? Jeno couldnt even think about the front right now, not when he could clearly see Jaehyun’s eyes were definitely not directed toward the camera lens. 

“Bro… you must have done something terrible in your past life.” His friend Donghyuck laughed into his ear. “The dude’s looking at her as if he won a fucking jackpot!” 

“Say’s the bitchless one.” Jisung quipped, adding on a rushed defense. “Not that ___’s a bitch, Jeno.” 

Jeno could only groan in despair. “What am I meant to do? I don’t even know what club she’s a-” 

“Envy. It’s written on the cup, Dumbass.” Jeno glared at his friends icon on the call, then glancing back to the image and sure enough, the black cup in your hand had the club logo printed on the side. “Jeno, you’re designated driver.. And who else.. Mark?”

Mark let out an unsure sound of agreement. “Uh.. yeah, sure. I’m not staying though, got work early in the morning and this internship is kicking my ass. I’ll drop you at the door and pick you up but that’s it.” 

Jeno was silently seething, continuing to tap through Hendery’s story as his friends made arrangements. In each one of them, the same guy was always with you. Even when you weren’t in the photograph, Jeno caught sight of you both in the background and with new determination, he shucked off his hoodie to get ready. 

You were having a good time. Much better than being ignored by your boyfriend, that’s for sure. Part of you still wished you'd put your foot down and demanded Jeno pay attention to you. He was the one who asked you to go over after all. But, you much preferred dancing with your friends over causing arguments with Jeno.

You were dancing with Ten and Jaehyun when you first spotted the familiar head of black and pink streaked hair. The grinning man approaching the three of you the moment he caught sight. 

“Chenle? What are you doing here?” You shouted over the music, eyebrows drawn in confusion. 

Honestly, you could probably count on one hand the amount of times you’d seen Chenle make an appearance at a night club. The younger shrugged with faux innocence, his grin broadening as his gaze caught sight of someone over your shoulder. 

“Ask him.” He simply stated, with the nudge forward of his head being a signal for you to probably turn around. 

From the way the colour drained from Jaehyun’s face, however, you weren’t sure you wanted to. You could physically feel the anger radiating from the person behind you - You were 100% certain who it was. It was solidified when a hard chest pressed against your back, hot breath against your ear. 

“Yeah, ____. Ask me.” You’d never experience this Jeno yet. This Jeno was mad, His voice sharp and heavy, the emotion making it slightly husky. 

Chenle only grinned wider, shooting you a thumbs up as he coaxed your friends to the bar. You didn’t face your boyfriend yet. Unsure of what you might see, if his voice was anything to go by you’d probably fold in thirty seconds flat. Jeno has a special talent in making you fold. Instead, you crossed your arms over your chest, straightening your shoulders. How dare he come and crash your fun? After he ignored you for so many hours. 

“Finally remembered you have a girlfriend then?” Was your snarky reply. 

You were so glad you weren’t looking at him, from the way a tense silence followed your words. Honestly, you stupidly thought you’d made him speechless. A smirk tugging at the corners of your glossy lips. The triumph didn’t last for long, the victory slowly fading from your face at the almost sinister chuckle. 

“Could say the same about you.” Jeno’s clipped tone bit right back, his strong hands settling on your waist. “Someone should tell Jung fucking Yoon-Oh to get his own girlfriend and stop making googly eyes at mine.” Your boyfriend’s gravelly voice rumbled into your ear. 

That made you step forward, Jeno’s hands falling away from your waist before he could tighten his hold to stop you. Your mouth opened to speak but your words got stuck in your throat. There he stood, Pink hair swept back in probably the only style he knows how to do himself, black skinny jeans and a dress shirt with only the bottom few buttons done up to leave it open to the bottom of his sternum. He looked mouth watering. You could feel your resolve crumbling bit by bit. 

“He-He didn’t touch me.” You choked out. “He’s just a friend, Jen.” 

Your voice didn’t sound like you, it was breathy and low but somehow he heard you. Jeno’s facial features were set in a hard line, stormy with jealousy, the constant flashing lights around you reflecting off his eyebrow piercing. His jaw flexed. 

“To you, yes. But to him? Baby, when you showed up here looking like fucking aphrodite in that dress… he probably thought it was his birthday.” He said tautly. 

You didn’t have anything to say to that. You couldn’t dispel Jeno’s worries either. Whilst you had definitely noticed how the man in question hadn’t left you alone all night, you’d done nothing to try and put any distance toward you. Your anger at your boyfriend had clouded your judgement -  your mind telling you that Jaehyun was just acting as a comforting friend and listening ear. Though with the amount of times he’s still asked you out and the amount of ‘jokes’ he makes hinting at you being ‘too good’ for Jeno, you can’t say you blame your boyfriend for his blatant dislike. In his defense, Jeno had voiced his insecurities surrounding the man many times to you and you knew it was something he was very much bothered about. 

At the thought, your anger dissipated like a deflating balloon. If you’d just spoken to Jeno in the first place then you probably wouldn’t be in this situation. The apology died on your lips when both sides of your face was firmly cupped and Jeno leant in. His nose brushing yours as his almost possessive gaze met your startled one. 

“Mine. ____ you’re mine.” He spoke through gritted teeth, his statement firm. You didn’t disagree anyway. 

“Only yours.” Your instant reply had his shoulder relaxing only slightly. 

The tension was thick and neither of you had leant away. It was as if a rubber band had snapped when your lips met, hungry and claiming. Hands all over each other desperate to find purchase.

That was how you found yourself in your current state. Pressed against the locked door to the club restroom with your dress bunched around your waist. Your high heels dug into the backs of Jeno’s thighs as each hard drive forward thudded your back louder against the wood. Jeno couldn't help but admire your smudged lip gloss, the rest of which he was sure to be smeared along his neck, the base of his cock, and his own lips. Eyeliner and mascara streaked further down your cheeks with each pleasured sob. 

Jeno’s firm grip on your thighs hoisted you against the door, he made no effort at all to silence your cries and moans. He didn’t want to this time. You were his and right now he really hoped Jaehyun was waiting outside for the restrooms to be unoccupied. With a deep moan of his own, his teeth reattached to your neck. It was as if he thought the bruises he marred your skin with would have faded in the last thirty seconds, his teeth pulling at the skin over them. 

“Say it again, Baby. Please.” He uttered breathlessly, delivering a particularly firm thrust.

Your words were incoherent, you may aswell have been babbling total nonsense. This man had filled you to the brim, pounding the same spot over and over enough for you to see stars.  An elongated whine left you, fingernails gripping at Jeno’s back underneath his shirt. Your thighs shook in his hands. 

“Yours. Jen-no! Always… Always yours.” You cried out, almost letting out a scream when he tilted your hips for the right angle. 

“Oh god… oh g-god!” Your sobs were like music to his ears, your pleas and praises fuelling his speed. 

Jeno lifted his head, sweat beading his brow as he kissed away your tears. His chest was flushed red from exertion. You tried to hold on longer, you really did but your orgasm crashed down on you almost abruptly, dragging a filthy, loud, wanton moan of his name from your throat. 

“Shit…” Jeno swore as you clamped down around him almost in a death grip, prompting his own release. 

You felt like your whole body was twitching in the aftershocks. You almost flinched at the sensitivity of Jeno’s piercing dragging against your sensitive parts as he slowly pulled out. The both of you were panting heavily like you’d run a London marathon. You made no effort to move and clean up yet, opting to draw Jeno’s torso into your body in a tight embrace. 

“I’m sorry for playing on your insecurities.” You admitted sheepishly into his ear. “I was just so annoyed.” 

A soft hum in reply was heard, the sound still lightly vibrating his chest. “Why were you annoyed?” 

“You invited me over to just ignore me for hours. I just wanted some quality time with you.” Your confession had Jeno’s mind clicking everything into place. 

“Oh… I didn’t think of it like that. ____ I just always want you around. I hate it when you go back to your apartment.” He lifted his head from where it was nuzzled comfortably against your marked chest. 

Your tongue darted out to nervously wet your lips, your right shoulder lazily lifting in thought. “Okay…” You started off, slowly. “Then… What if I didn’t?” You offered tentatively.

Jeno didn’t say anything as he processed your words, his lips pulling into the first smile he had directed at you all evening. “Then… I’d clear out half of the closet space for you… maybe get you a key cut.” 

“I’d like that.” His smile was contagious as hell, the corners of your mouth pulling up into an expression to match his own. 

Jeno quickly cleaned you both up after that with a mutual agreement that you should both go home and shower. His large hand wrapped tightly in your own. You both looked a disheveled mess, your panda eyes and his wrinkled shirt and messy hair. However, you’d made yourselves presentable enough to make it to the car. His free hand twisted the lock on the door, pulling it open to the stunned faces of your friends. None of them said anything but judging from the smirks and snickers, you’d surely get drilled in the group chat later. 

One face stuck out to Jeno amongst them all. The one closest to the door. The number one cause for his possessive streak this evening and whilst you were off saying goodbye to your friends, Jeno leaned in slightly for only Jaehyun to hear him. 

“Game Over, Loverboy.”

[thehusbandoden]

Won't Let Go- Dabi x Fem!Reader

Warnings!: Pure angst. No happy ending, blood, major death, yelling, crying, argument, harsh words, not willing to accept death.

Umm yeah I have zero idea if I'm good at angst or not... I'll probably make an alternate ending for people like me, but until then I'm sorry.

I kinda rushed bc I wanted to keep my brain going.. it's unedited like usual too.. so sorry for the errors. I might edit it later.. but idk.

You and Dabi get into a nasty fight. You leave for some air, but get attacked by a fellow villain.

1,800+ words/Pure angst

It started simply, just another stressful day, and just another argument. Both of us hissing insults back and forth, hurting one another in ways only we knew how.

He made a jab at that one insecurity that no one knows about except him, and I jab at his incapability to take me out on a normal date. He then throws out a harsher, more personal insult, and I insult the fact that he can't properly provide for the two of us.

It went back and forth, words only get shaper and more venomous to the point where I'm in tears, and Dabi is still sneering at me. "DO YOU EVEN CARE!? YOU LOOK PSYCHOTIC RIGHT NOW!" I scream, e/c eyes locked onto his turquoise ones.

"NO! I DON'T CARE, NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL!"

"DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?!"

"LOUD AND CLEAR! YOU'RE NOTHING TO ME (Y/N)!" As Dabi's words sinked in, my tears continued to fall, increasing in speed. "Aww look at you. You're so sensitive " Dabi cooed, venom lacing his words.

As my anger grew my body started to shake. Standing up, I walked over to our shared closet. "You know what Dabi? I'm done. I'm done with how you hurt me, physically and emotionally, and yet I stick by your side, holding you during every nightmare as you burn me. You burn me to the point of tears, and yet I still hold you. You insult me time and time again, and yet I'm still there to hold you after a particularly nasty mission. I hold you when you need me, and yet I need you and your somehow entitled to shatter my heart? Enjoy life alone. I now see why you were alone, you only hurt the people that actually care about you." I seethe, pulling on a hoodie, making sure that it was one of mine.

"Where are you going?" Dabi chuckled, turquoise eyes hardened in anger. "Away from you. Just know that it's your fault that this happened to us." I reply, eyes tearful as I took one last look at the man I adored.

"Goodbye." I whispered. As Dabi moved to say something further, I walked out the door, closing it softly before leaving, much to Twice and Toga's confusion.

"(Y/n) chan! Where are you going!?" Toga asked, skipping over to my shaking form. I just ignored her, picking up my pace slightly. "(Y/n) chan?" Twice muttered, eyes focussed on my back.

I just continued forward, stepping outside into the rain. Sighing, I started walking forward, toward the alley ways, failing to notice the eyes on my tired form.

Dabi's P.O.V:

As the door closed, I immediately crumbled onto our shared bed, regret coursing through my being. I stepped out of line. Yes, so did (y/n), but I started it.

As I remembered the cruel words I said to my precious (y/n), I scoffed as I felt a drop of blood fall down my cheek. Shooting myself up, I yanked at my hair as I paced around the room, waiting for my precious (y/n) to come back.

After about forty minutes, I started to freak out. (Y/n) usually comes back after a 10-15 minute cool down, and then continued to ignore me until I brought her into my lap, kissing her softly as a silent apology.

She would silently forgive me, and we would go back to normal. It was unusual for her to be gone for so long. Pulling out my phone, I left her a text telling her to come back, before continuing to pace back and forth.

Reader's P.O.V:

I huffed as the villain in front of me searched for an opening to strike. Right as I started to head back to my precious Dabi, I was jumped by a fellow villain.

My arm was cut badly, my stomach ached from a kick, and my left eye was bleeding, which affected my sight immensely. As the man launched himself toward me, I kicked his groin, temporarily stunning him.

As he fell to the ground, I smashed his head into the ground with my foot before fleeing towards the bar, praying that I would run into one of my fellow colleagues. As I ran my stomach ached, and sweat stung my eye, but I continued to run, avoiding calling out due to my villainous reputation.

Right as I turned the corner to get to the bar, I felt a rough hand pull at my shoulder. "Got you." The man hissed, face right below my ear. I shivered in disgust, pushing against his masculine form in a vain attempt to get away.

"I'll bloody you up real good, and then I'll chain you out of your little boyfriend's window." The man sneered, dark eyes shining as he dreamt of Dabi's horror.

"You're sick." I spit, kneeing the man in his stomach. Unfortunately, the hit wasn't strong enough to drop him to the ground, and it only angered him further.

"You little-" I couldn't help but whimper pitifully as he stabbed a knife into my arm, spilling blood onto the concrete. "You'll pay for that." The man promised, twisting the knife in my arm, producing small whimpers from my shaking form.

Dabi's P.O.V:

I awoke with a start, looking around the dark room in confusion. I don't know what woke me, but I do know that something was terribly wrong.

Unlocking my phone, I went into a panic as I saw my text not being read after an hour or so later. (Y/n) always kept up with her texts.. what was going on?

Scrambling to our closet, I pulled out a black hoodie before slipping it on, pulling up the hood as I exited our shared room, rushing towards the door. "Where are you going?" Shigaraki rasped, light blue hair covering his eyes as he lightly scratched his neck.

Ignoring him, I made my way out the door, picking up my pace as I heard a commotion nearby. As I jogged around the alleyways, I started sprinting as I heard whimpering becoming closer and closer.

Turning a corner, my blood boiled with rage as I spotted my (y/n) on the ground, blood pooling under her quivering being. A man was standing next to her, glaring down at my (y/n) as he held his bloodied arm.

As I ran toward the pair, I freaked out seeing blood leaking from (y/n)'s chest quite quickly, staining her clothes. Burning the man, I made sure to keep him alive for later. Kneeling down next to (y/n), I panicked at the amount of blood seeping from her stab wound.

Reader's P.O.V:

Breathing heavily, I looked up at the wet form in front of me, only realizing it was Dabi as I heard his shaky voice call out to me. "D-Dabi..." I whisper, e/c eyes moist as I studied his face, blood running down his face.

"Don't talk! Save your strength!" He demanded, pulling off his hoodie to press to my chest. "Dabi.. are you crying?" I ask, pressing my thumb to the blood falling down his cheeks. "No! Now be quiet!" Dabi yelled, blood coming faster as his hoodie soaked up the blood way too fast.

Dabi's P.O.V:

Dread sunk in my chest as I absorbed the situation, realizing that unless I turned us both in, or found some miracle, she couldn't be saved. Pulling my precious (y/n) into my lap, I cradled her gently, rocking her back and forth.

"Dabi... I'm sorry." (Y/n) murmured, (e/c) eyes moist with regret. "Don't you apologize; don't you dare." I growl, hugging her tighter. "B-but I said some really horrible things to you..."

"And I said worse things! Just- just be quiet while I try and think!" As my thoughts ran wild the only thing I could think of doing is to take her to a hospital, but then we'd be recognized and earn ourselves a life in jail.

But, it was better than losing her. Swooping (y/n) up, I started to run towards the nearest hospital, trying to devise a better plan. I'd- I'd sneak in through a window, and single out a doctor. I'd first persuade the doctor with money, and than threaten them.

If that doesn't work I'll kill them and find another. That- t-that would work.. it has to work... As I solidified my plan I looked down to see (y/n) getting worse, her (s/t) skin was pale, and her gorgeous eyes were almost fully closed.

"H-hey.. open your eyes." I mumbled, freaking out. "(Y/n). Open your eyes!" I demanded, stopping to crouch in an alleyway as I heard sirens nearby.

"(Y/N)-" "Dabi... I'm sorry I tried to push you into sharing things you didn't want to share-" she stopped to cough up blood before continuing, "I'm sorry I said so many horrible things to you.. and I'm sorry for not being the idle partner for you.. please know that I love you.. and no. You don't have to say it back my Love."

As (y/n) forced her eyes open, dread consumed me as the light started ebbing away and they started to close. "Don't you dare apologize! You did nothing wrong! It was me, I was the one in the wrong! And I'm sorry! So, so sorry! You were, and are the perfect partner! And I love you, I love you so freaking much! So please... STAY WITH ME!" I screamed, blood leaking from my eyes and falling into (y/n)'s (h/l) (h/c) hair.

After a few seconds of silence, I pulled (y/n) away, just enough for me to look her in her eyes and hurriedly check her pulse. As I felt her still pulse my heart stopped. (Y/n) was dead.. the one person I loved was dead.. Desperately, I attempted to give her CPR, deep down knowing that she was gone for good.

As I labored to try and revive (y/n), I screamed on top of my lungs for her to come back to me. Failing to notice Twice, Toga, Kurogiri, and Shigaraki coming up from behind me.

After a few more minutes of my screams Twice came up and grasped my shoulder, tears falling down his face. "I CAN STILL SAVE HER!" I yell, shoving Twice away, causing Toga to frown and catch him.

"Dabi. She's gone." Toga murmured, tears staining her face. "NO! NO SHE CAN STILL BE SAVED!" I paused to desperately bring her into my lap, cradling her cold body to my chest, trying to warm her up.

Rocking us back and forth, I murmured sweet things to her, kissing her head gently. "OVER HERE!" A voice yelled, growing closer quickly. "Kurogiri." Shigaraki rasped, an unpleasant look on his face.

Kurogiri then silently transported everyone except me, (y/n) and himself. "Dabi.. you're coming." Kurogiri muttered, sending out a portal underneath me. I just hissed and cling to (y/n) tighter, hugging her still body to my chest.

Masterlist

Requesting Rules (requests open and appreciated)

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way, minus reblogging.

[thecluelessdoctor]

i swear I don't mean to cause arguments, or anything of the sort in the FNAF community but I really need to get this off my chest about a certain ship popular in the fandom.

Now, the fnaf fandom has always had its hand full of immoral, strange, and toxic ships like most fandoms do. But I'm here to talk about William x Henry.

Please note I will be using facts I know, this isn't just opinion. I will also only be stating the vital events that help my point, because the rest is extras There also might be some events mixed up here, please just correct me on that *nicely*

Also if ur gonna say something, please don't be hating. Because you will be blocked, I don't care if you are a mutual or friend or not, you will be blocked if you try picking a fight.

ANYWAY.

So here is my thing with William x henry. I personally don't mind it too much but sometimes it bothers the hell out of me.

Let's talk about what we know about William and Henry's relationship. We know they were best friends and founded Fredbear's together, and then it is believed 83 happens, where even/chris/ what ever you call him, dies. So that'll fuck up any person so. Yk. ANYWAY, then William kills Charlie. So that's strike one right there, ofc Henry doesn't find out till later I believe but yk.

Now I thInk- when ever Fredbear's got shut down and the open Freddy fazebears is where Henry finds out anyway

Honestly Henry is stupid for not calling the cops like. Fucker you had the proof William murdered your daughter- AH YES LETS GO TO THE NEXT TOPIC- Henry here let's William go. Stupid ass- anyway, so what does William do? Change his name and decide in a British voice "I am going to become Henry's biggest problem."

I don't remember what happens but I am PRETTY SURE William does this in the toy animatronics pizzeria. Then the bite of 87 happens and it's like oh shit.

Now during this time, William finds out about reminant , which I find SO STUPID AND FORCED LIKE- HE CANT JUST BE A MAD MAN?? HE NEEDS TO HAVE A REASON FOR HIS KILLING?? anyway. Willie finds out about reminant and is like 'oo lemme go kill five more kids and watch what happens'

So yeah.

Oh and the fact William *according to what I have read* made Mike be a test subject. If that's not toxic and bad idk what is.

Anyway.

Stupid ass part one over here goes back to fazbears to harvest the remnant from the animatronics only to get himself killed YAY!

Anyway lets skip to FNaF... 6 I think. Henry/stupid ass part two quite literally trys to kill William again so like. These two are at each other's throats.

That's all I got for now- mostly because that's all I remember rn :') (jeez the FNAf lore is confusing)

I also have personal reasons on why the ship has a bad taste in my mouth but that's a different story.

Also, please note I AM NOT HATING ON YOU FOR ENJOYING THE SHIP. I just needed to get these thoughts out.

Also please, if you enjoy the ship and want to interact with me, try to refrain from bringing it up. Due to bad memories I will likely start unintentionally judging or disliking you and I don't want that

[heartshards]

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the broadway version basically the first Frozen film, so essentially connected to the second one as well? So shouldn't you be using a faceclaim who's Sami?

god I've literally been back for less than 24hrs

ahem. so yes, the musical is more-or-less the first film expanded upon. and yes, Frozen 2 does confirm Anna & Elsa are half-Northuldran on their mother's side. and yes, Walt Disney Studios has confirmed the Northuldra, the indigenous population trapped by the mist in the enchanted forest, are partially based on Norway's Sami people.

now I'd like to point out a few things.

first, I have been writing Elsa since 2013, when the first movie came out. I have used Lily James as a secondary/modern/as-needed faceclaim since that time. second, I situate Arendelle in modern/"real-world" verses in Denmark, since Frozen is based on The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Andersen, a Danish author. third, and I cannot stress this enough, Arendelle and the Northuldra are fictitious, they are not exact representations of any one indigenous population, rather, as the studio has said, they can represent the subjugation of many different indigenous persons across Europe and North America. using any one particular indigenous actress might come close, but nothing would be 100% accurate to a people that was invented for animation. they are not, for example, absolutely based on real Columbian people like the characters of Encanto.

yes, Elsa is half-Danish and half-Northuldran, but she's also not entirely human at all – she is a spirit gifted to Arendelle in somewhat human form. if we want to get into the nitty-gritty of genetics, she wouldn't have blonde hair with her parents. it's scientifically impossible.

now I want to be clear I'm not trying use ~magic~ as an excuse to whitewash. I just think it's a bit odd to have someone jump in my inbox not 24 hours after I come back to writing Elsa and point out a faceclaim I barely even use. 90% of my icons are icons of the various musical actresses from bootlegs of the show. I only chose Lily back in the day because I felt she had the right expressions/mannerisms/costumes for Elsa. no, she isn't Danish, but as someone of white European descent, I wouldn't care if a British person played me when I'm technically Dutch. I will say straight out I am not of indigenous descent, so I won't speak for any such community, but I am also aware actresses that are half-Sami are pretty few and far between. if someone wants to suggest one to me that might work for Elsa, I am very open to it! but I want to circle this back to the fact that I really don't use icons super often anymore anyway. half my partners are iconless so I am moving more in that direction.

also, just as an aside, actresses of several different races and ethnicities have played Elsa and Anna and their parents in the musical, because it is a fictional, magical world. yes, based on the real one, but nonetheless, having a black Elsa or Anna or a Filipino Anna or a Japanese Elsa (all of which we have had in the stage show) hasn't undermined the story.

I would never claim Elsa's connection to the Northuldra is anything other than very important to her character, but I think nit-picking this element of my blog I don't even use often feels to me a bit more performative than actually helpful, especially when sent as an anon and not approaching as an actual conversation. I am always available via DM if you'd like to chat, though.

[urmommies--girl]

Loss | T.R x !Fem Reader!

Warnings: Angst, mentions of gaslighting, toxic relationships, manipulation, very slight bimbofication (not nsfw though), Stuttering (Idk it pisses some people off, lmao), swearing

Inspiration:

‘Once I would have followed you, begging you to let me in - apologising for things I’d never done, gratefully accepting your cold indifference, just to be near you - I know better now - but don’t worry - there shall always be another fool to take me place.’

Words: 1.1k

Argument after argument, hour after hour, day after day, She had hoped for the best- a more promising outcome in Her toxic relationship with, Tom Riddle. She had been warned by many about the consequences and risks in this foreseen problem- but she was already tied around his finger, enchanted by his looks and way with words- mesmerised by every small action he made. Causing an obvious blindspot to the toxicity of their so called ‘love’. Y/N knew he never really loved her- and probably never would- being conceived under Amortentia there really was no logical hope. A boy who killed; A boy who tourtured; A boy who lied. However, Y/N always was quite the optimist- looking for the best in people even if it wasn’t there; He knew that, he knew she wouldn’t leave him until she ‘fixed him’, he knew she couldn’t leave him- or so he thought. The once optimistic Y/N had slowly grew tired and impatient, becoming evidently colder and less social; being limited to all outside life by her ‘partner’- the words of others warnings had started getting to her; she noticed the red flags people talked so much about, she kept track of everything he did- studying her like a crazed fangirl or stalker- keeping her notes and findings hidden away in a ‘secret’ location. But to her dismay her notes had been discovered- by Tom.

As she waltzed into his dormitory after her classes Tom was sitting on his bed- basking in his glory; reading- but not some average book about nonsense topics- it was her notes; her findings. His face morphed into a sympathetic pout as his eyes glued onto her frame that was still positioned in the doorway. Her eyes widened as they flickered to the book, she dropped her belongings with a ‘thud’. He looked up at her with glossy eyes, “Is this really what you think of me, Y/N?” He questioned, she tried to speak but her words got caught in her throat, he sighed and got of the bed walking over to her; somehow her already wide eyes grew bigger as she backed away into the door- Tom slid a gentle hand up her cheek, stroking it softly, “Have you been letting people get to you again, princess?” He inquired, adding a pet name that he knew would make her crumble- and she did- she almost caved, she almost gave into his manipulation- again. She shook her head slowly- being wary of her every move; “no- t-they were my ideas” Y/N stuttered trying to have even a slight bit of domination in this situation. Tom raised an eyebrow, letting his ‘sad act’ fall, he was honestly quite amused, “Yours, ay?” He laughed slightly, she nodded, feeling an un-ease with circumstances, “You sure? I mean I would be very surprised if this dumb head could think about such things.” He mocked, sliding his hand up to her hair, roughly pulling it; hard enough to make her yelp, “Don’t lie to me. I know you’re just a dumb bitch. You couldn’t come up with such ideas even if your life depended on it.” He sneered.

Y/N squirmed around and pushed past him with as much strength as possible and quickly scurried over to the bed to get her book. She picked it up before walking over to his desk where a quill and ink lay out on the dark oak table, he watched her move around- desperate to strike, aching to end her rampage of ‘unnecessary thoughts’. As the girl lifted the quill she painted her name on a spare page then once again moving back to her significant other. The page was held triumphantly in front of Tom’s face as he cocked an eyebrow, she sighed and flicked between her name and other notes, hoping he’d catch on- he did, quite quickly actually… “Yes Darling I can see very clearly it is your hand writing.” He replied un-amused, she put the book down, “See? It was my idea- I wrote it.” She explained, he pouted again “Well then if you did, why? Do you not love me anymore?” He hummed lifting her chin to meet her eyes- ‘His eyes…They held everything her soul had ever longed for…’ She thought as his spell was once more on the brink of being cast.

His hand was shifted away by a quick movement “No. I don’t. What everyone said is true. You are heartless- You don’t love- You can’t.” She retorted.

The last words are what struck him most- She was right of course, but nevertheless it still left a slight ache in his cold heart. Knowing he would never feel true ‘pain’ or ‘emotion’- It was the one thing Tom Riddle- a self absorbed and evil person; hated about him self. Deep down parts of him wanted to care for the girl in front of him- but the rest of him couldn’t.

He remained silent until his thoughts and her words had settled, “So this is about what everyone else said…?” The pernicious man inquired, sending a wave of irritance through the girl, “No! This is my opinion and I stand by it! It is time we go our separate ways, Tom.” She finalised. His laughter cracked through the room, leaving her ears ringing. Although when he noticed her serious face he settled himself; yet a smile still remaining- “Oh you’re serious? You think you can leave me? You’re mental, Darling” he chuckled. Before she could argue a response he had a grip tightly around her neck, “You are mine, alright? You belong to me. Get that through your thick head.” He sneered.

While fear was coursing through her body and instinct was put in place and she tugged her own wand out of her pocket, positioning it towards him and yelling the word ‘Stupefy’ to which the man fell to the floor unconscious. Y/N was careful how she moved around the body and made sure to take effort in not waking him as she departed his room along with all her belongings.

Upon Tom’s arrival back to consciousness he found himself upon the floor along with a note,

‘Once I would have followed you, begging you to let me in - apologising for things I’d never done, gratefully accepting your cold indifference, just to be near you - I know better now - but don’t worry - there shall always be another fool to take me place.’

Goodbye, Thomas.

-Y/N’

Ignoring the words on the parchment he recollected his thoughts before standing to his feet- noticing the awfully large headache he had.

A//n: Keep in mind that these are old fics I wrote on my first account and I have since inprove (i think...)

[missblissy]

Human Alastor x reader playing Bowling? (Idk i just like that type of date hhaha) Maybe just them or maybe with friends

((>W>.............................. js I hate bowling. But I love you nonny, so for you..... I made this. ENJOY!! Sorry for the wait *cries*))

How goes bowling these days? Is that even still a thing? And why would anyone want to go bowling other than to drink? But no one drinks have the time... people just go for the pin and balls. Maybe it had to do with long and round phallic objects and balls rolling around. Regardless, your friends had dragged you to go bowling for whatever reason. And you decided to drag Alastor along because if you had to suffer, so did your boyfriend. It was also a bonus that he got along with your friends as well... some of them at least.

It was Charlie's idea mostly. She was someone who always wanted to go out and try new things. It was something she lived by apparently because this week's new activity was bowling at one of those dark neon allies with an arcade built-in. Charlie managed to talk her girlfriend, Vaggie, into coming too. Angel came because he also assumed there would be drinks but found out there wasn't a damn bar inside. You honestly had no idea how or why Husk was even there because he was completely and entirely miserable. If you had to guess it had something to do with you forcing Alastor to come.

Anyways, you and your little group of friends had found themselves staring down an alley with those silly little shoes on. Angel wouldn't wear his though, he wouldn't let their piss shade of yellow clash with his outfit.

You were sitting in plastic chairs next to Angel as you watched Charlie and Alastor go up next. You had two lanes so they went together. Angel sat next to you, he grabbed an arm behind you on the back of your chair and leaned in, "Five bucks says Allie gets the gutter," He whispered loud enough for Alastor to hear. You giggled as you saw your boyfriend's brow twitch and ignore the comment.

There was a second there that you were tempted to say something back to Angel but you were interrupted by the loud clash and computer saying "Strike!" You looked up and saw that Charlie was still holding her bowling ball. But walking away with a smirk on his face, Alastor's smug pride gleamed off him. The shock on everyone's face only made him boast to himself even more. When did Alastor find the time to get good at bowling.

As he sat down next to you, he threw Angel's arm away from you and replaced it with his own, though he was sure to wrap his fingers around your shoulder and bring you closer to him. He never liked Angel, and he was always so overly protective when it came to you anyways, so it wasn't welcomed that the boy was so close to you. Even if he was a guy. Competition is competition, it doesn't matter who they are, Alastor didn't like sharing you. Period.

"How... Did you do that?" You asked him.

Alastor shrugged and watched as Charlie threw her bowling ball right into the gutter, "I'm perfect at everything I do, dear." That was supposed to be satire.

Angel rolled his eyes and with a huff, he crossed his arms, "You can't fuck." He deadpanned.

Instincts kicked in and you ducked seconds before Alastor nearly climbed over you and punched Angel in the face. He missed and got him in the shoulder instead.

"Leave Alastor and his fuckless life alone," Husk said as he got up from his seat, "Some people are just better than the rest of us sexual deviants," He took his turn bowling soon after saying that. Vaggie went next as well. She choose to keep her mouth shut on all this.

But even Charlie had something to say, "Come on guys," She awkwardly waved her hands, trying to calm everyone down, "If you're going to fight take it outside this time. I don't want to get kicked out of another place of business..."

"He won't fight me, he'd know I'd deck him in the head and give 'em a one-two combo real quick like last time." Angel reminded everyone, and you all collectively remembered Angel clocked Alastor in the face at a bar after a heated argument. Alastor went out like a light and broke his nose on the way down. You looked at him and saw the little kink in his nose from that night.

You sighed and reached down into your pocket and pulled out your wallet. You grabbed a random twenty and handed it to Angel, "I'll give you this and two cigs if you go outside for ten minutes."

Angel gave you a snotty look, somewhat offended that you'd even offer such a thing. But he knitted his brows, snatched your twenty-dollar bill, and stole two cigarettes from the pack you left laying next to you on your seat, "I'm gonna find a bar on this fucking street- I'll be back later, losers."

You could still feel the rage simmer off Alastor even after Angel left. Though you didn't have time to say anything to him. It was your turn to go up. And now that Angel was gone, you didn't want to go up there and make a fool of yourself alone... Half your plan was to have Angel bowl next to you so that no one would notice how bad you were.

"Um-" You said as everyone waited for you to go, "I'd...uh... Um. I don't know hooow-" You were cut off as Alastor quickly got up and pulled you up with him.

He dragged you to the lane and got a bowling ball for you, "Hold this," He said. You noticed his anger from before had all but melted away. Alastor gave you a charming smile and stood beside you, "Copy me. Like when we dance."

You blinked at him a few times then did was he said. He held his hand up, pretending he had a ball. You copied him and did the same. He brought his hands to his chest, stepped forward, swung his arm back then forward again. You smiled at him and did the same, but you actually threw a ball. It rumbled down the lane and crashed into a couple pins. At least you didn't get the gutter.

"See? That easy," Alastor smiled at you. He place a hand on your arm and pressed a kiss on your cheek. He grabbed your hand in his and asked, "Do you want to see if they have any vending machines in the arcade? We can get some snacks?" Which was code for do you want to sneak away for a second?

"Sure," You quickly agreed while locking your fingers with his. The two of you scurried off with him. The second you were out of eyesight and safe behind a wall, Alastor gave you a more proper kiss.

He pulled away and asked, "Why did we come again?"

You shrugged, "Charlie asked." You simply said.

Alastor let out a huff then started walking with you towards the vending machines, "You can't really say no to someone like her..."

As you pulled out a few loose coins from your pocket and slipped them into the machine you laughed, "No, you can't." You both dearly loved your friendship with Charlie... But she could be a bit bossy sometimes.

The two of you collected an arm full of snacks and started walking back together, "Well, I say when we get home, we have a proper date."

You laughed and even lost a few snacks. You picked them up quickly and said, "You mean you cook us dinner and we watch a movie? That's not a proper date either, ya know."

Alastor smirked at you then nudged his arm into yours with a grin, "It is too because it'll be just us. Alone."

You rolled your eyes but still chuckled to yourself, "Alright, alright," You said, "What do you want to watch?"

He shrugged, "Don't care. I just want to make fried rice tonight."

You let out a huff of a laugh and passed out a snack to each of your friends while Alastor gave them a drink of some kind, "Fine. But I'm picking a TV show then because I just started watching something on Netflix."

"Aw, are you guys leaving?" Charlie asked with way too much sadness on her face.

"No, no-" You waved a hand slightly, "Alastor just doesn't think this is a proper date, so he has to make one up at home."

"What do you mean this isn't a proper date?" Vaggie threw a hand in the air, "All of us brought our partners! I mean- Angel left... So Husk is more like a third wheel at this point. This definitely counts as a group date or whatever."

"Call me old-fashioned, but you don't bring your friends on a date and there is no such thing as a group date," Alastor said as he cracked open a can of cola.

"What about a double date?" Husk asked from his seat while he tore open a bag of chips.

"This isn't a double date and even then those aren't real dates either. You're supposed to be somewhere nice, havea nice meal, share a few drinks. Share some stories and laughs with the one person you're interested in courting, then call it a night, done!" Alastor smiled to himself while everyone else collectively sighed. He was old-fashioned. (But you liked that about him.)

"This isn't 1955, Al. You can go on a date anywhere. Like here. What about going to the zoo? Could that be a date?" Vaggie asked.

Alastor thought about it, tapped a finger to his chin then gleefully said, "Nope! That's an outing!" Several people groaned but no one went on to feed into his banter.

You did hear Husk grumble under his breath "You need to go out to go on a date," But Alastor must have not heard it or choose to not say anything.

The rest of your night there wasn't that bad either. Angel did end up coming back, but not without his arms full of booze bottles of all kinds. They didn't serve drinks here but at least Angel was wise enough to buy some solo cups too. No one was really paying attention to the bowling anymore either. (You lost, not that you cared or anything.... You did.) Instead, you and your friends had gathered around in the arcade, drinking, laughing, playing games, and picking on each other harmlessly. You enjoyed every second of it, much to your surprise. Alastor did as well, though... He still insisted on his proper date once you got home.

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[timextoxhajima]

Member: PWARK SEONGHWAbs

Category: playlist feels one shot

Genre: fluff and smut (idk how this is gonna turn out lol i just couldn’t get the visual of boss/ceo? seonghwa out my head and you’re his secretary and i just--)

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: if you haven’t noticed by now, most of my one shots/work don’t really have cliche plots? there are certain tropes/cliches that i don’t really like or i’m just not tuned into being comfortable writing them like eg. boss and employee is pretty nasty, that’s why the chaebol juyeon series turned out like that (i’m not gonna spoil it but if you know, you know that y/n wasn’t just an employee.) so in here, i guess it’s not going to be an exception? i don’t know when the day will come that i will write one that is EXTREMELY cliche and be able to be satisfied/happy with it. 

this is the first smut i’m writing for seonghwa; i’ve only been writing it for san and a tiny bit for mingi and the rest’s literally for juyeon ;_; so i hope i don’t butcher it. 

see you on the other side :D

“니 맘 전부 알고 있어”

“I know your heart”

“oh god--” you shove the food on your spoon into your mouth, nearly throwing it on the table just as the music starts ringing in the room, and he was already resting his chopsticks on the bowl. “please don’t--”

“seonghw-- ugh.”

too late.

“forget it, do whatever you want at your own dinner table. i can’t believe you invited me over just so i have to watch you have your own concert,” the food calls you again, and seonghwa acts like he’s in a drama or a music video. 

“have you finished compiling the contracts from the previous year and making sure everything tallied?” he raises a candid brow at you, his hands reaching out to you as the lyrics ran its course. a frown draws into your forehead, and you swat his hand away, reaching for a piece of fried egg instead of watching him act his heart out. 

“i’m still working on it, but i’ll have it in by the end of tomorrow,” the egg finds its way between your teeth and you push some rice in along with it, fingers finding your phone when it lit up.

“wooyoung’s asking if we’re going to hang out anytime soon.”

you look up through your damp hair and glare at seonghwa, hands still flailing around and his torso following along with the movements. 

it really was a wonder you’ve been friends with him since you were teenagers, and somewhere, somehow, some deity really thought making you the secretary of one of your best friends was a good idea.

initially, you were relieved that your boss was someone you knew as well as you did the back of your hand, but within the first six months of being seonghwa’s secretary, you literally couldn’t help yourself from hurling a file at him once in awhile. 

it wasn’t difficult to catch you screaming at him in the office because he passed out from overworking himself, telling him to go home. not because he was taking a nap, but because you found him sprawled across his desk after working through the night.

that was the day everybody in office found out you were friends from the same circle. 

so whenever anybody had the slightest issue or complaint about their boss, they’d come to you in hopes that you would smack -- or yell -- some sense into him. 

seonghwa had his shitty days and it didn’t stop him from being a terrible boss; you could empathise. but otherwise, he’d be strutting around office and annoying the hell out of both you and your colleagues by giving them sweets, to the extent that someone would wonder just how he was the one everybody needed to address as ‘boss’.

“wooyoung? but hongjoong’s overseas and mingi practically vanished off the face of earth. if he wants to have a meal together, he needs to hunt mingi down first,” the fishcake in the soup suddenly contained enough power to make seonghwa stop rolling his chest and send it into his mouth. 

“i’ll tell him no then,” the message sends and you put the phone back down onto the table. “anyway, the security told me when i left the office that the camera in your office is down and they’ll have someone sent over to fix it over the weekend, so they just told me to relay the message to you.”

“why wouldn’t they just email me?”

your tongue digs into the gap between your gum and your upper lip sa you reach for the glass of coke. “i’m pretty sure they’ve given up emailing you, especially since you don’t use that email address often.”

“hey, i have one for office operations and one for business, is that so wrong?” his defensive tone causes his voice to crack and go off tune, striking a funny bone in you despite already hearing it a billion times over. 

“i didn’t say there’s anything wrong, it’s just annoying when you give someone your email but you don’t even check your inbox,” you finish your last spoonful of rice and chicken, downing the soup to wash down the food. “but anyway, point is, don’t do anything dumb in your office.”

he scoffs, finally returning dedicated focus to his food. the food that he bothered to prepare for you before even telling you he was cooking dinner. it made you obligated to show up, else you’d get an earful from him for being ungrateful. 

“name me one dumb thing i could do in my office,” his cat eyes widen and the whites around his pupils glare at you under the lighting. 

“how would i know?” sucking the grains of rice from the hidden spots in your mouth, letting the water droplets on the side of the coke glass run over your nails and drip off the base. “like have a heart attack and pass out tomorrow, if you choose to stay over time?”

seonghwa stretches his legs under the table, and his sock-covered feet jab you in your ankles. a sharp ‘tsk’ slides out from gritted teeth, and he laughs at your reaction. 

“it’s not peak period for companies to be contacting me now, so that probably won’t happen.”

“well, don’t leave your office door unlocked or something, someone could waltz right in and find your shit and that’ll just might be the end of you.”

“honestly, i thought it  would’ve been funnier if you encouraged me to do more dumb things in the office, since there wouldn’t be any footage of it.”

wincing in disgust, your hands wipe the water off the surface of the coke glass and you flick it at him. a loud snicker blocks out the music for a moment when he ducks and uses his arm as a shield. 

“god forsake i recorded that and told the office you said that,” the coke glass empties itself down your throat, and you help yourself out of the seat to help him clear the dishes. 

“it’s a good thing you’re worth trusting then,” you hear him say loud enough for you to hear while you rest the plates in the sink. 

a chair drags across the floor and the soft clinking of the porcelain plates from the dining table mixes with the water gushing out of the tap. 

if you had to describe your friendship with seonghwa, it’d be an open book. 

one of the best things about being friends with him was that he was always mature enough to look past little arguments or conflicts that shouldn’t have an impact on your friendship.

sometimes he was whiny and pouty and it nauseated you, but he was always one to have your back whenever you needed it. his shoulder was always there for you to cry on, not the mention the hugs he gave. 

so why ‘open book’? 

“i’m only worth trusting because you kept my secret and prevented anybody else from blowing shit out of proportion.”

a gentle chuckle rings by your ear, and seonghwa refuses to fill the sink with more dishes while you were still standing there. there wasn’t a time when he’s hosted a dinner and let his guests do the dishes for him. 

the water runs the dishwasher soap off your skin and you step away for him to take over. 

“it didn’t blow out of proportion only because i didn’t tell anybody else,” he turns and flashes his smile at you, and it reminds you of the first time you fell for it. 

you guessed it. 

park seonghwa was the love of your life at some point of time, and he knew. 

in fact, nobody else knew besides the two of you. 

you had made it so painfully obvious that if anybody was observant enough, they’d be able to pick it up. luckily for you, hongjoong was too busy making sure mingi wasn’t sticking a pen down his throat just to prove a point, and seonghwa was the only one who noticed you staring at him. 

so ‘open book’ in some sense... for the both of you. not so much anybody else outside your exclusive friendship.

the fear in your chest and entire body was so overstimulating in that moment he caught you staring at him, with eyes you assumed he would’ve found creepy, that you could’ve cried in that instant. 

it wasn’t likely that he’d stop being friends with you just because you had feelings for him, but it was likely that he’d start distancing himself from you just so he wouldn’t hurt you. 

~~~~~~~~~  FLASHBACK ~~~~~~~~~~~

“don’t fuckin’ let him swallow the pen!” he yells at hongjoong, who was struggling to use his relatively shorter limbs to hold mingi’s long limbs down. your stressed vision was darting back and forth between the little wrestling match and confusion and fear start to swallow you like waves on a stormy day when seonghwa gets out of his seat and walks towards you. 

“come on,” he shows you a hand. everybody was seated in his living room, pizza boxes empty and coke bottles neatly thrown into a trashbag in the corner with the flashes of light from the television brightening the room every few seconds. “let’s go out and grab some fresh air while these two idiots settle themselves.”

seonghwa literally pulls you to your feet, and he must’ve guessed how much shit you thought you were in, for you to require someone else to tear you away from the ground. 

the sliding doors rustle open, and the cool autumn air outside greets you as if to mock you. the street lamps outside his house prevent you from seeing any stars, but you remember why you were out here in the first place.

your fingers find each other, your nails automatically starting to pick and peel at the skin on the other hand as seonghwa pulls the doors shut, muffling the whining and the screeching mingi was polluting his surroundings with. 

your forearms were rested on the surface of the wooden barriers, and your eyes looked dead straight in attempt to avoid his. the wooden barrier creaks, and you catch a glimpse of his hands gripping the rough surface, his torso leaning over it at an angle so he could meet your eyes without needing to shift you.

the thumping and racing in your chest was so rapid and aggressive, you wish you were dead instead. your lips parted, already prepared to say sorry and get the hell out of his life before he breaks your heart first.

“seonghwa, i--”

“no, it’s okay,” his voice was gentle in the almost-quiet atmosphere. “i was already suspecting it, and you only confirmed it.”

the blood rushes from your feet into your face, and your knuckles whiten from the amount of effort you channeled into holding the wooden barriers to support yourself. the last thing you wanted to do was to pass out infront of him. 

“i know you don’t feel the same, but i don’t want this to ruin our friendship,” mustering enough courage, you turn to him and lock pleading eyes with his. 

“well, neither do i. i wish i could ignore it, and if you were just any other girl, i wouldn’t have bothered having this conversation with you,” he turns and leans his lower back against the wooden boards. “but it’s you and you’re one of the few things i can’t risk losing.” 

silence. 

“this friendship is more important than whether or not you reciprocate. so even if you did, i’d be terrified to even start one with you... in fear that we’d break up and everything prior wouldn’t mean anything,” the words roll of your tongue with such fluidity, it surprised you even more than it did for seonghwa. 

“if that’s the case, then i’m relieved,” he pushes himself off the wooden planks and digs his fingers into the top of your head, ruffling your hair. “i don’t want our friendship to finish so pathetically either, so i take it that you want this conversation to be just between us?”

the nerves in your body tell you to nod, and you carry it out before the thoughts even get processed.

a weak smile curls his lips upwards, and he removes his hand from your head. “okay. you have my word.”

~~~~~~~~ NOW ~~~~~~~~~

so just like that. 

you and seonghwa made a silent deal never to tell anybody, and you made an effort to shove your feelings for him so far down your heart, you think you might’ve shat it out into a random toilet bowl in the last six years or so. 

“anyway,” you recall how you even got to this part of the conversation. “so don’t do anything remotely dumb in the office. if anybody encourages you to do it, i’ll murder them myself.”

his teeth glimmer in the light and the water starts running its way through the bubbles and foam on his hand and the plates in the sink. 

you stay long enough to remind seonghwa not to do anything stupid in his office the next day and to lock the door whenever he wasn’t in, at least five times over. seonghwa forces you to eat some strange concoction of ginseng and peach juice before you had to run out the door and straight home. 

the next day at work passed strangely quicker, and much quieter than you thought. 

seonghwa didn’t spend much time outside you office, and your colleagues handling external liaisons were busy too. it wasn’t difficult to figure out that despite seonghwa saying that companies wouldn’t be approaching him for new partnerships, one big one must’ve come by to keep him in his little box in the corner of the floor. 

but more often than not, being seonghwa’s secretary made you feel obligated to stay until he actually chased you home. and even if he did, you’d try to peel him away from his workspace too, well aware that he’d probably spend the night in his office if you didn’t.

today wasn’t an exception. 

the last external liaison officer left the office and waved goodbye to you, leaving you at your desk in the cubicle nearest to seonghwa’s office. 

you gather the contract summaries and place them into a clear file, throwing your phone into your suitcase and pulling your blazer over your shoulders. after you hand him the contract administration file, you’re going to make sure he went home today, even if it meant shoving him off his seat. 

you stretch out your arms to straighten the sleeves of the blazer, one hand clutching onto your suitcase and the other holding the file. turning off the light at your desk left seonghwa’s office light as the last remaining source of illumination of the area. 

“seonghwa,” you call out, trapping the file between your elbow and your rib as you knocked on the door.

“door’s open,” his voice sounded so tired and strained, you wish you could scold him for being so hardworking, but that was just the way he is.

“i thought i told you to lock the door,” seonghwa’s eyes were plastered to the computer screen, sheets of paper strewn about on the desk. usually you’d be surprised, given how neat and organised seonghwa had to be. but since this must’ve been one hell of a contract, you could understand that he lost some of his bearings. 

“i’m in the office, there’s no reason for me to lock it,” his eyes tear away from the screen and look down at the papers. 

the office smelled like febreeze, which you already were used to. seonghwa sighs a loud sigh and he gets out of his seat, stretching his limbs while you walk around to his desk, placing the file down and picking up some of the sheets he was just looking at. 

you drop your suitcase to your feet and your eyes naturally begin to skim through the brand new contract he spent the entire day obsessing over. seonghwa shifts and you hear his shoes pace up and down the space behind you, probably trying to get the blood circulation going from the hours of sitting down. 

the lamp sitting on his desk illuminates the papers in your hands into a bright white, and the printed black words become so much shinier under it. 

“oh? samsung?” your eyes widen slightly at the name printed on the sheet. “no wonder you’ve been in here the whole day.”

he hums, and you start to feel his torso looming over you from behind. 

“what else do you have to do though?” you flip through the sheets, and he pushes your hair aside, his fingers lightly brushing against the skin under your ear. 

“not funny, seonghwa,” the frown deepens into your forehead when you notice all the sheets had already been filled up. “are you clearing emails? if you’ve filled up the contract sheets then there’s no reason for you to be her--”

the pressure on your lower back combined with the soft breathing on your neck cuts off the oxygen from your nose to your lungs. the air hitting your skin causes goosebumps to erupt all over your skin, and you start to cringe from the ticklish sensation. you flinch and your shoulder shrugs up to your ear as you turn around, taken aback to realise he was standing right behind you, barely giving you any space to turn. 

“uh...” the air was eerily still, and there was a strange look in his eyes that you don’t find familiar. your rear rests against the edge of the desk, and you pass the sheets to your left hand, right hand reaching up to wave it infront of seonghwa’s face. “are you okay?” 

“i’m more than fine,” gently wrapping his fingers around your palm, you raise a brow in confusion. 

you sigh and return the sheets back to the middle of the desk, hand still in his. “you look like you’re going to pass out, is there anything wrong?” 

naturally, your other hand finds his, and you pat the back of his hands like you were petting a dog.

“i need to ask something, and you gotta promise to answer me honestly,” there was a hint of fear and anxiety in his voice, and you didn’t like it. 

nonetheless, he was one of your best friends and he wouldn’t ever hurt you, no matter what he said.

he was probably going to ask something you would find offensive.

“alright,” you release his hands and cross your arms over your chest. “hit me.”

seonghwa shoves both his hands into his pocket and straightens his back, the change in posture making him look taller than what you were used to seeing. 

“do you still feel the same?”

the muscles in your neck snap your head backwards, and both eye brows lift themselves further away from your eyes. a small snort escapes your nose, and you start to nibble on your thumb. 

“‘still feel the same’? about what? about what happened seven years ago in your living room?” 

the smile doesn’t disappear from your lips, and it only gets wider when seonghwa nods. 

“park seonghwa,” you chortle, lifting your hand up to his forehead and pressing so hard into his skull that his head tilts backwards. “are you sure you’re okay? because i’m pretty sure that’s your juiced-out brain talking.”

one foot was already turned to walk out from between him and the desk, but he slams his left hand onto the surface of the expensive wood, and the loud slap of skin against wood startles you. 

your head whips to the left to look at him, and it dawns on you that he wasn’t messing with you. not a single feature on his face twitched, and you could see his soul crawling out of his eyes and threatening to squeeze into yours. 

“an honest answer.”

the most vital organ in your body starts to race, and the sensation yanks you back seven years to when seonghwa figured it out for himself. 

you haven’t felt the same kind of panic and worry since then. 

“i’d like to believe i’ve gotten over you, why?” the neurons in your brain struggled a little to piece that sentence together. 

“so it’s not a definite ‘no’?”

straightening yourself, you pat down your blazer and jab a finger into his shoulder. “did you not hear a word i just said?” 

“y/n,” this time he grabs your wrist, and you could feel the groves and bones of his fingers. “it was a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question.”

a pause, and you start hearing your heart in your ears. 

“do you still feel the same?”

everything inside you screams ‘no’, but you were well aware that if you had to even convince yourself that that was the case, then it was obvious the answer is ‘yes’. you start screeching at yourself in your own head, knowing that if you kept quiet any longer, seonghwa’s sharp eyes and extreme situational awareness was going to help him crack the code. 

“i--”

“so it’s a ‘yes’.”

fuck me.

“seonghwa, let me explain, okay? it’s not that i didn’t try, i’m just letting those... stupid feelings wear away on its own,” you writhe yourself out his hold and he releases you, but you couldn’t prepare yourself for what he said or did next. 

“there’s nothing to explain, just let your heart tell you what’s good for you.”

there wasn’t a single cell inside you that could tell you why you were so scared, so when seonghwa cups your cheeks with his hands and presses his lips against yours, the realisation pulls your eyes wide open. 

red and white sirens go off violently in your head like declarations of war, and your palms press flat against his chest to push him back.

“what are you-- seonghwa, if you think this is funny, then you need to know that it’s not. at all.”

“no, please, i didn’t mean to make you think i’m messing with you,” his eyes soften, and you were relieved to realise that the seonghwa standing in front of you right now was the one you recognised.

“really? because if we weren’t friends for like ten years, i’d think you’re just another playboy.”

seonghwa offers a weak chuckle, and he rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. you take a few deep breaths to steady your heart, the mind-boggling situation not exactly resting in a comfortable spot in your head. 

“is that how you really see me? a playboy?” he raises a brow with mischief, and the slowly diminishing gap between the two of you alarms your senses all over again. 

“i’m well aware of how the girls in school used to look at you,” his breath starts to hit your upper lip again, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand. 

“okay, but that was seven years ago,” you watch with the slightest pinch of horror when his hands run up your arms and rest on your shoulders. “but now we’re both adults and i’m sure you’re mature enough to understand your own feelings, regardless of what i was treated as in school.”

“could you hurry up and get to the point?” you frown when he leans in again, your head slowly inching backwards. “all this beating around the bush is going to piss me off and i’m going to leave you here alone and go home.”

the sound of his laughter landed in your ears like music, and you let it run through you that it was one of the many things that led you to fall for him. 

“okay, well...” he licks his lips ever so subtly, and he tilts his head so you didn’t need to. “if you still have feelings for me then i want you to know that i have feelings for you too.”

the confession rests on your skin like a layer of silk, and your eyes somehow become comfortable closing this time round. 

he tasted exactly the way you’d expect him to: strawberries.

your hands were still awkwardly gripping the edges of the table, so when he finds them and pulls them around his own neck, that was when you lost all sense of reality. 

you couldn’t decide between kissing him because you still had feelings for him or because you’ve spent so much time being comfortable around him, some part of you felt so at home.

the line was so thin that you physically felt it disappear. 

the thought of it was kind of messed up, but it was seonghwa, the one who stayed your friend despite knowing you had feelings for him, the one who stayed and protected you by not telling anybody else. 

not wooyoung, not hongjoong, not mingi. 

the feeling of your entire existence, and the last seven years, melt into that kiss was so heartfelt, and it may have been your feelings for seonghwa talking, but his lips against yours felt like heaven-born puzzle pieces meant for each other. 

seonghwa picks you up and places you on the desk, the kisses soft and gentle, and his fingers on your cheek made you feel like heaven all on its own.

if hongjoong were here, you just know he was going to yell at the two of you for choosing intimacy over your friendship, but for two people who had mutual feelings for each other, there wasn’t much anybody could do about it. 

seonghwa breaks the kiss and he gives you a gorgeous smile, the sight shoving a hundred butterflies into your stomach while the strawberry taste lingers on your lips. 

“tell me if you’re uncomfortable--”

“we’re in the office--”

“camera’s not working.”

a small scoff runs off your tongue, and he dips his nose into your neck. kisses the weight of feathers land on your skin, and your heart starts running through your chest like it was in a competition. his hands push your legs open, the sudden jerk shooting little bolts of shock up your spine.

whines start to drip over your lips upon the kisses on your neck, and seonghwa drags his palms up your thighs, the pressure slightly but never overwhelming.

he wraps his arms around your waist when he returns his attention to your lips, pulling you so close to him that your chest was pressed against his, and your nose starts to pick up on his scent. 

your weight begins to shift backwards as his hands messily push all the things on his table to the side, laying you on your back but never once breaking the kiss. 

“this is so not okay,” you huff embarrassedly, arm finding your forehead when he pulls away. you heard him gulp, and it reminds you that he must be as anxious as you were, if not even more.

“are you really okay with letting me do this?” he presses a kiss into your cheek, fingers caressing your knees that he held on either sides of his hips. “you can say no, and we’ll be fine. we let it go once, we can let it go again.”

the look in his eyes were so dangerously comforting, you felt your mind glitch a little trying to process them. seonghwa was so genuine and sincere about your feelings that it made you nauseous. the pricetag the both of you were putting on tonight was your friendship. 

one wrong move and it could all go down the drain.

“i’m okay as long as i know that you’ll still be here, even if anything goes wrong.”

seonghwa looks at you with slightly sorrowful eyes, before he kisses you again, and the amount of comfort and promise that you absorbed from it was enough to make you tear up. 

“i’ll never leave you, even if we aren’t a couple and if we’re just friends... even if we stop talking fifty years down the road, i’ll still want you to be by my side in the afterlife.”

your nose sours at his little speech, and your heart shatters without warning. pulling him back to your lips, you kiss him like life was going to tear him away from you. 

seonghwa drinks your love and need for affection with ease, fingers trailing down your stomach and under your skirt to play with the rims of your underwear. 

fingers slide under the material and he smiles into the kiss when he realises your body needed him more than you’d like to admit. you would’ve slapped him across the face if he pulled away just to tease you, but he doesn’t.

he swallows a loud groan from you when he slips a finger in, and your grip around his shoulders tighten upon the blissful sensation. 

your fingers start to fumble with the dress shirt he was wearing under his blazer, and bit by bit, the whiteness of his skin start to remind you of milk. 

seonghwa removes his finger and sucks it like a lollipop, his eyes flying up to the dress shirt around your chest and he does the same for you. 

you couldn’t contain the mewls that slipped through your teeth when he undoes enough buttons to expose your cleavage, and the kisses on the curves of your breast felt like you were already one foot into the afterlife. 

the last button on his dress shirt comes undone, and you marvel at his torso. for a split second, you felt so proud you fell for him not because of his face or body, but because of his personality. yet, now with the knowledge that he looked like that under the layers of clothes, it was too difficult a task to hide the lust that overcame you almost instantaneously.

“hold your horses, kitten,” he pulls away from your chest, at the same time removing your underwear from under your skirt. your eyes involuntarily lock with his, and again, you couldn’t recognise them.

“who are you and what have you done to park seonghwa?” you mock him in attempt to calm your own bundle of nerves. a smirk pulls his lips up in the corner, and he yanks you to the edge of the table where his groin was dangerously near your exposed core. 

“i’m yours and he’ll come back once i’m done with you.”

you throw your head back into the table when he kneels down, and his tongue finds your sensitive nub. your fingers run through your own hair when he starts flicking against you, occasionally lapping your dripping neediness up. he doesn’t push into you, which was both frustrating and pleasuring at the same time. 

you start to lose your grip on reality, and just as you were about to protest against him being such a tease, he removes his face from your south and begins undoing his belt. 

your lids were droopy with lust, and watching him undo the button and zipper of his pants made it so much more worth it. 

“i wish i knew this day was coming,” you whisper to him as he leans over you again, one arm holding his torso above you and the other, you assume, pulling his underwear low enough to release himself from the material. 

“so you can tell the girls that you’re having sex with me in the office?”

the line sounded so lewd, blood began rushing both down to your south and up to your cheeks.

“what, you’re shy now?” the brow he raises was so smug, you would’ve bitten down on his bottom lip if you didn’t suddenly gasp when he plunged into you without warning. 

your chin tilts so sharply towards the ceiling, he had to pull it back down for him to shove his tongue into your mouth, and a pinch of pain seeps through your entrance into your thighs. 

the harsh, rougher kisses were pulling inappropriate noises out from your throat, and he starts thrusting into you when he assumes you’ve gotten used to him. his right hand was supporting his weight by the side of your head, and his left palm was gripping onto your thigh with such immense strength, you were sure he was going to leave marks by the time you were done. 

seonghwa finally pulls away, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and his pants becoming more apparent. your arms grip onto the edge of the desk above your head, and tears start to form in your eyes when the pain completely dissolves into pleasure and bliss. 

“my pretty, pretty, secretary,” he huffs into your ear and licks the edge of your skin, the contact sending you over an edge and the friction in your abdomen drilling dirty thoughts into your head. 

“seonghwa--” the thrusts get deliberately harder and rougher, the sudden bucking of his hips enough to jerk the entire table. “oh-- shit--”

the tip of him starts to ram into a magical spot inside you, and your eyes roll into the back of your head when he doesn’t stop.

“be a good girl and come for me.”

every word literally gets hammered into you, and it sends you into an abyss of bright light while your legs shiver in ecstasy, and seonghwa pulls out shortly after, his speed allowing him to grab some napkin from the corner of his table so that he wouldn’t release anywhere on his desk. 

you struggle to catch your breath, and seonghwa reaches over to clean you off the table. 

“oh, no,” you cover your mouth and give a painful chuckle. 

“what is it?” his voice was soft and smooth again, and the gears in your head stop to process that this was the same person who just called you a good girl a few moments ago.

he pulls your hand away and gives you a light kiss on your lips, eyes scanning your face with worry and concern. 

“i told you not to do anything dumb, but i ended up doing it with you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: WHOO ok that was kinda long for a one shot. anyway, it’s super mellow compared to what i did for pilot juyeon so i hope you (smut)readers don’t mind heh. i’m still working on HOSTIS chapter 2, so look out for it! it should be up any time in the next few days. 

thank you for reading, and stay safe!!

- love, dana

[justsomefluff]

hello!! i found your blog not so long ago and i already love it so much, i was wondering if (if your request are open) you could do an ateez reaction to their s/o crying/pouting because they(atz) got jealous and they were ignoring their s/o (almost like the hwa reaction to you dancing w/ another member) 🥺 i love your blog so much.. hope your staying safe!!! 🤍

Okay, my sweet anon, this ended up being shorter than I originally wrote it bc it got deleted last time but I think I hit all the important stuff anyway! Also, I appreciate the positivity and I hope you are staying safe as well! <3

Summary: Ateez gets jealous of your conversation with another member. During a group dinner. Since they are feeling neglected, they decide to give you a taste of your own medicine.

Hongjoong:

Okay so Hongjoong is totally calm about his bitterness

Like he’s definitely staring daggers at whichever member you’re talking to

But other than throwing a dirty glance in their direction every once in a while

No one will even be able to notice that he’s remotely upset about anything

I think that he’s probably used to covering his emotions well since he’s the leader and he feels like he needs to be the most mature and stuff

That can lead him to being kind of reserved about his emotions though and that might bug some people

And so when you finally start giving him some attention

He’s gonna turn away from you and just flat out pretend he cant hear you

But when you finally get home at the end of the night and you’re sulking because he hasn’t said a word to you since before dinner

He starts to feel hella guilty

Like he never wants to hurt you but his jealousy really just took control of him that night for some reason

And if you’re making big, sad eyes at him and following him like a puppy as he does his nightly routine…

He’s done for

But I feel like once you actually start having a conversation, he’s very good at keeping it from turning into an argument

Good at “I feel” statements you know?

But both of you recover from this rather quickly and just make it up to each other by snuggling for the rest of the night

Seonghwa:

So Seonghwa is the type to act normal enough that the guys won’t notice that anything is wrong

But you know him well enough to know that he’s being kind of cold to you for some reason

And if you notice he’s being super low-key rude to another member then you can kind of connect the dots and understand why he’s upset

He will never let any of the guys see his anger though

Mostly because he’s the oldest and he feels that responsibility to them to only show them his good side if he can help it

So he will talk to you, but only like one word at a time

And he’ll brush you off if you touch him

But he will disguise it by reaching for food or something

He’s good at this okay

But if you just keep staring at him and the guys notice enough to ask you what’s wrong, then he’ll tell you to fake it til you get home

And you do because you don’t want to upset him more yk

And when you get home though, you’re almost in tears bc hiding it like that was so exhausting and painful

When he sees you starting to break a little, then he’s hugging you

Like .5 seconds to cross the room to get to you okay

Drama Mama Hwa to Protective Boyfriend Hwa that quick

He’ll explain why he was upset and you’ll explain your side as well

And once you’re finished, you’re both calm and forgiving about it

Even if you don’t fully understand each others point of view, you get it enough to let it go

Then you both just pass out together bc emotions are tiring

But you definitely wake up with smiles on your faces the next morning

Yunho:

(this is how he sulks at you okay its adorable, i just wanna give him the world)

this jealous baby

Like did you guys see that video of him and Wooyoung eating cheese tteokbokki like San was just tryna help no need to get your boxers in a bunch sweetie

But anyways, I digress

If he’s jealous, he’s gonna let you know straight out the gate

Like he’ll literally tap you on the shoulder and then act like he did nothing

And at first you’re like aw cute he’s being playful

But really he just wants you to know he’s ignoring you on purpose

Like how dare you not notice that Im ignoring you purposefully… He’s not gonna put in all this effort just for you to not notice okay

And when your brain finally connects those dots its like ugh

But Yunho is easy to break okay

Like the second you pay him even a lick of attention he’s so happy

Its just really hard for him to stay upset

But dammit he’s gonna try his best to keep it up until he thinks you have both neglected each other for an equal amount of time

But both of you are kinda clingy

So even if you both know this won’t last for very long, you still get kinda sad about it

And the second your lip juts out and you’re pouting

He’s smooshing your cheeks and just going “aigooooooo” and babying you and stuff

All the other members are disgusted but they’re just jealous okay I said what I said

Yeosang:

(Kang Yeosang character summary: will ignore you for chicken)

Okay I don’t think Yeosang is the type to ignore you on purpose

He just gets really in his head when he’s jealous and gets quiet

And I feel like we see more of Yeosang’s quiet side rather than his expressive side

So maybe he’s shyer about emotions? Idk this is all speculation anyway

So if he’s in his head, he’s definitely not trying to hurt you or anything

He’s just thinking about everything and feeling neglected and insecure

Poor baby

Like he’s only gonna notice that you’re sad about him ignoring you once youre alone

Bc nothing else can distract him from you aw

And if you’re even the slightest bit teary, all of his insecurities fly out the window

Like all his focus will be on making you feel better

And when you say that you’re upset bc he was ignoring you

He’ll literally be like… you were ignoring me tho???

Also he strikes me as the type to laugh in serious situations so he will deadass burst out laughing 

Like full on cackling

You’re half crying and just staring at him like ??? Wtf???

And he’s like WE IGNORED EACH OTHER HAHAHA

What the hell’s so funny about that you absolute crackhead

But then youre laughing too bc you realize that this entire situation is kind of ridiculous anyway

And both of you get over just like that, and spend the rest of the night giving each other all the love and affection you have to spare

San:

Okay San’s type of jealousy is more aggressive I think

Like not that he’s aggressive towards anyone about, just it impacts him way more than anyone else

So it can really take a toll on your relationship sometimes

But I do feel like, if he’s gonna ignore you, it’s only gonna be while you’re in front of the members

But as soon as you get home, all the emotions are gonna come out at once

Like as soon as you step through the door, word vomit all over the place

And if you’re eyes are glossy too then both of you are gonna end up crying

And neither of you are really sure why you’re crying, you’re just soft babies okay

But I do think that San is more accusatory in these situations

Like a lot of “you did this” instead of “this is how I feel”

So it can start arguments sometimes

This time though, you’re both just emo and soft

Since you’re both a little bit weepy, you’re both just apologizing profusely 

but neither of you really know why you’re sorry

You just are

And no formal resolution is reached because you both fall asleep all cozied up to each other with tears drying on both of your faces

And you wake up in the morning, kind of giggling at each other

All the negativity got washed out of your systems anyway :)

Mingi:

this BABY

he’s jealous but if he ignores you omg

its so hard for him to do

god like he's not even good at it

like he’s ignoring you but still holding your hand??

like how does that work

but anyway, even if you're pouting at him and stuff

he will be the one who ends up crying

like “why did you ignore meee”

and you're like... I didn't even realize I was??

so you decide to tell him what you and the members were talking about

and then all of a sudden, he’s distracted

like “ooh that interesting”

tell me more

or if it was a debate he’ll pick a side and have a full discussion with you

or if he agrees with you, he will playfully diss the other members for being wrong lmao

basically, just distract him and everything will be all set

just don't make a habit of ignoring him bc then he will really feel unloved and no one is allowed to hurt my Minnie

Wooyoung: 

So, Wooyoung is more exaggerated with the way he expresses his emotions

And we all know that I mean we’ve seen it

So when he gets jealous, he feels it in his chest

Then those emotions bubble up and come out in the form of hysterics

So he goes extra crazy for a little bit

Like not showing anger or anything, just being excessively crackheadish

And obviously not giving any of that attention to you

You notice it immediately

Like if he’s super excited, he always gives you most of his attention bc he really wants to share that happiness with you

But if he’s ignoring you, its really obvious

And you really feel the hurt bc its like… he never acts like this normally

So once you get home you’ve pretty much had it

Like your eyes are welling up and he’s just kind of looks at you like “oh nooooooo, I done messed up”

And he’s holding you and apologizing and being sweet and explaining why he did it

Literally swears up and down he will never do it again

Bc when he feels guilty it’s overwhelming for him too

Especially when it comes to you

So you end up snuggling each other the whole night to make up for the time you lost ignoring each other

Jongho:

Jongho is definitely more reserved about his emotions and we see that a lot

I feel like its probably because he’s the youngest and he doesn’t want his hyungs to think he’s immature or incapable of handling his emotions

So he is gonna try to maintain that tough facade in front of his members at all costs

And they won’t really notice if you guys are having problems bc I feel like he tends to keep things about your relationship more private in front of them anyway

So if he’s ignoring you, the other guys will just assume that he’s trying to keep being tough

No one is allowed to see Jongho soft okay

But you will be seeing him turn soft the second he notices that you’re hurting

If he notices that you’re upset when you’re with the guys, he will take you home early

The second you’re alone, protective and soft Jongho combine to form that side of him the guys arent allowed to see

He hates that he’s the reason you’re feeling hurt

Will try literally anything to make you feel better

He is not gonna stop touching you and holding you and babying you all night

Has to be in contact with you in some way or he’ll cry

But either way he’s gonna be the best boyfriend to make up with

Bc he behaves this way after every conflict you have

Forever a sweetheart

[trashydemigodmess]

raf/rae for the ship meme plz

they would absolutely terrify me, god help us all 🌹🍷

Who is more aggressive in bed? they both say themselves lmao it's a constant struggle

Lights on or off? on, obviously. what is this, amateur hour?

Who does what chores? they would hire someone to do all the cleaning, but like, I guess raf could be in charge of dishes and rae in charge of laundry

Who gets babied when they’re sick? rae would absolutely baby raf's dramatic ass 🙄

Who makes breakfast? rae would

Where would they go on their honeymoon? somewhere they can party lmao

What are their quirks while sleeping? I feel like they'd actually be pretty cuddly which no one would really expect and I think that's so cute

What is their favorite activity as a family? world domination? gdfkjgsdf just kidding

Who is the stricter parent? honestly, I don't think they'd have kids, they're both too busy having empires to run lol

Who would be the big spoon? rae would want raf to be the big spoon but like...she's sm taller than him, so she's definitely been the big spoon a few times and she maybe kinda enjoys it but never tell her I told you that

Who would wake up first? rae??? maybe?? idk

Do they have nicknames for each other? they are an exclusively babe/baby/baby girl household (also like...their names are already nicknames lmao)

What happened when they met each other’s parents? I think raf's mom would like rae a lot, but I think rae's family would tell her he gives them weird vibes and aren't quite sure why she's with him oop

How do they apologize after an argument? I feel like they wouldn't talk for a few days then have this dramatic as hell reconciliation lol

What would they be like as parents? okay if raf said but babe who's gonna take over the family business(es) someday rae would sigh and say yeah ur right good point and they'd have ONE child, that's it. a spoiled rotten child who would absolutely terrify me being the dna of raf and rae combined lmfao. I think they'd love their kid but like, they're both so busy they'd wind up being a bit distant and the kid is probs mostly raised by a nanny 😪

Who is the better cook? rae? i'll be honest idk what raf's cooking ability is gfkldsgsfd

Who is more romantic? I think raf would be c': he strikes me as someone who could pull of romantic gestures p easily and honestly deep down they are both softies who would really love each other

What sort of gifts do they get for each other? they'd just be showering each other in expensive shit gfkdjgdf

Who gets jealous easiest? oh absolutely rae, raf is too much of a flirt she doesn't trust him to keep his mouth shut when a pretty person is around

Who gets more excited for events? (e.g. birthdays, christmas…etc) raf will never turn down an opportunity to throw a party are you kidding

Who is the most adventurous? I think raf would be the one to just grab her hand and yeet off on an adventure and if she was in love tbh she'd follow that wild boy to the end of the earth

Who is the most protective? I feel like no one would dare try to come for them LOL but in reality i think rae would throw down pretty quickly if someone tried to talk shit about him

What would they have been like as childhood sweethearts? that popular couple that always had rumors swirling around the school about them because omg did you hear they got into a huge fight and were yelling at each other at the party on friday? omg I heard they got caught doing the deed under the bleachers? wait are they broken up again? eh they'll get back together in two days

Song to sum them up? idk WHY my mind is telling me it has to be a song by kesha but??? y'know that does feel right I just can't pick out which one

[kimberly-spirits13]

Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 6

Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.

Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol

Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.

Warnings: trauma induced habits (it’s really not anything serious), unhealthy sleep habits but I'm pretty sure everyone here has those

Word Count: 1897

Masterlist for Series

It was three days later since you had mistakenly slammed Dick into the mats. You and Damian hadn’t talked about it at all seeing as you were trying to avoid the topic like the plague. Darkness had settled over the manor. Bruce and the rest were just back from their patrols and you were just getting ready for yours. It was unofficial at least. Today would have been your turn for the 2:30 am shift of patrol at the league. You couldn’t sleep at all with the thought of your responsibilities running through your mind. 20 minutes had passed of you battling yourself on the aspect of going out. It would be unnecessary, Mr. Wayne has the best security money could buy or make. You thought it through over and over again. What if an alarm didn’t trip off when an intruder came in? What if the manor was attacked and nothing happened to prevent it. With these thoughts overpowering the logic you tried to introduce, you got up and changed into your suit.

        Exiting from your window, you went on top of the manor. The roof was pretty massive seeing as this was a mansion. You looked up seeing the stars and thinking back to what it looked like at the compound. The biggest difference here was seeing the lights from the city in the distance and pine trees instead of endless mountains. You jumped from different points, quietly landing on others. As you did this, you scanned the area and moved on if you didn’t see anything strange.

In the Manor:

        “It looks like she’s patrolling the area.” Bruce said sitting back in his chair in front of the computers that were installed in the cave, “I don’t like it.”

        “Master Bruce, Miss. Y/N is merely practicing habit. Leave the child be.” Alfred said as he cleaned up his first aid tools from tonight’s patrol.

        “She could be plotting something. Getting intel, either way, she’s triggering my alarms.” Bruce responded.

        “Master Bruce! Enough of that.” Alfred raised his voice in disapproval, “This isn’t a normal household as you might have gathered. Everyone here deals with trauma differently. As a child when you picked up strange habits after ... your own set of traumas, I did nothing to stop you of such actions. I knew you’d grow out of it.”

        “I guess you’re right.” Bruce muttered.

        “Nothing new Master Bruce.” Alfred remarked walking into the other part of the cave.

        Bruce eventually left, turning the system off. He knew Alfred was right and even though he wanted to, he knew that there was no ill intent in your actions.

_______________________________________________________________________

        Back outside, you were still well underway in your patrol. You had only thirty minutes left and then you would be able to return to your bedroom. Everything was silent but for the crickets and occasional fire fly here and there. You marveled at their beauty once you figured out what they were. That was strange to see for the first time. Other than that, the only other sound was a new pair of footsteps coming from behind. You knew who it was without turning around.      

        “I thought I would find you here.” Damian said.

        “Well, I guess you thought right then Damian.” You replied perched on the side of the manor.

        “I assume this patrol is stemming from previous habits of yours?”

        “One might say that.” You gave him a side glance seeing that he was coming to sit by you, “Old habit.”

        “Closer to, a sign that you really aren’t taking this move well and are actually covering it up for the sake of reputation and your own personal expectations you have set for yourself.” Damian commented making you roll your eyes some.

        “Wow, caught red handed.” “In all actuality, you’re correct on many levels.” “I just needed something ... normal for a change.”

        “I understand.” He said shortly, “I heard father talking about a gala. Something to parade us around to the rich snobs and media as an introduction. I do not look forward to it.”

        “That sounds like one of the worst ideas I have heard in quite a long time.” You huffed, “And that’s saying quite a lot.”

        He chuckled but after that, everything fell back into silence. You carefully looked out over the grounds before being startled by the vibration and alarm of your phone.

        “Looks like my patrol has ended.” You said turning off the alarm, “I shall return inside. Care to join me?”

        “I will.”

_______________________________________________________________________

        From there, sleep was impossible to come by. You were plagued by nightmares which you never had before. It was probably since you weren’t constantly focusing on training or a mission you had convinced yourself. What you needed was something to focus on and that was what you got. You didn’t rely on coffee like Drake since you never had it to begin with at the league. For the first few days, no one noticed anything. That was what you had planned, however it was of course Damian who raised the first alarm. You were in the library catching up on some studies for ancient history and astronomy. The sunlight was streaming in golden beams through the windows and you were sitting at one of the tables wrapped up in one of the long jackets that you had gotten. Damian walked in to see you hunched over one of the books with your hair in a messy bun.

        “Y/N?” He asked quietly as to not scare you.

        “Mhmm?” You hummed in response giving him a quick glance of acknowledgement, flipping the page to a star map.

        “With all due respect, you seem tired as of late. When was the last time you slept?” He questioned sitting next to you examining the pile of books you had pulled.

        “Last night?”

        “But did you actually sleep an entire night last night? That is the real question.”

        “Why are you concerned on the hours of sleep I got Wayne?” You asked in return.

        He didn’t answer. The truth was that he was worried more than he’d care to admit. He knew that you had terrible dreams like he did, neither of you cared to talk about them at all. The memories of mornings where you’d come for training with dark circles and eyes flooded his conscious. Those days you were scarier and had less patience, though he’d never blame you for it since he understood the feeling for some part.

        “You never answered my question.” You said pulling him from his thoughts.

        “I-I... no reason, I was just making sure my right hand was in stable mind.”

        “Well, I am fine.” You glared at him for the comment, “I’m perfectly stable demon.”

_______________________________________________________________________

        That was a few days ago. You kept the exhaustion hidden well, especially considering you were in a house full of detectives. That didn’t mean you didn’t feel it though. You were bone tired and almost lagged along. Focus became harder to maintain and you felt yourself drifting on and off into sleep. Now you were in the training room running a simulation. It was an easier one you had to admit, but nothing enough to give anything away. Your moves weren’t sloppy, just not as pristine as typical. You also didn’t notice Damian walk inside of the cave to watch you. Rubbing your temple as you finished, you grabbed your water bottle and splashed some of the cold liquid on your face to wake you up. You turned around and were startled by Damian.

        “My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He said reaching to grab your arms to keep you from hitting him from habit.

        “It’s fine.” You replied, “I just didn’t realize you were there.”

        “You never drop your guard like that. I think it’s time for you to sleep L/N.” He said, “I know you haven’t been getting any.”

        “I insist that I am fine.” You went to grab your duffle bag off of the floor with the intention of showering in the cave showers near the back. Standing up was the issue. With the worst light headed feeling you’d had in years you fell back down.

        “Y/N!” Damian grabbed you before you had totally hit the floor, “That makes it final, I’m making you sleep.”

        You mumbled an argument before totally passing out. There was no way of avoiding the obvious of you being passed out as he took you to your room.

        “Damian, what happened to Y/N?” Bruce asked alarmed standing up to see you completely out. Bruce wasn’t fazed by much, however, he wasn’t ready for that at all.

        “Lack of sleep.” Damian said shortly, “I think I know why.”

        Alfred followed him up the stairs explaining that he’d need to make sure you were okay other than not sleeping. He was sure that after a good night’s rest or so, you’d be fine. Damian knew though, that that was asking a lot from you no matter how simple it might be.

_______________________________________________________________________

        You awoke suddenly in your bedroom only to be surrounded by darkness and the light, delicate streams of moonlight shining dimly across the objects inside. You felt someone taking hold of your hand and immediately looked to see that it was Damian. Next to you, he was sitting in a chair with his head resting on the side of the bed and his hand around yours. With the shift in motion that you had caused, Damian awoke.

        “What are you doing?” You asked, a blush creeping across your face.

        “Oh- I,” He let go of your hand and rubbed the back of his neck, “I knew you needed to sleep and I also knew that you wouldn’t unless there was someone with you.” “I just didn’t think you’d want me to be in the be-“

        “I-I understand.” You replied, “Thank you.”

        “I will leave now.” He got up.

        “Damian I ... you were right about the sleeping bit. I actually wouldn’t mind if you stayed.”

        “I see.” He sat back down in the chair.

        “Damian, I’ve known you since we were three, you can sleep in the bed.” “If you’d prefer, there’s an extra quilt you could use in the closet.”

        “Are you sure?” He asked standing back up.

        “Positive.”

        Damian retrieved the quilt from your closet and returned quietly, getting on the bed. You stayed under the original bedding and he slept on top of it. There was a distance that was kept between you two since it would be strange for you to be any closer. You were just close friends and nothing more. Although, that thought made you a bit upset. When you did finally awaken however, you were startled to see that you were tangled in the covers laying as close as possible to him. Damian’s arms were draped over you holding you tightly and neither of you cared to talk about it.

        That did however start a routine of going into each other’s rooms for sleeping. You didn’t classify it as a romantic or intimate thing. It was saved for whenever either of you had dreams terrible enough that you didn’t want to be alone anymore. At night, you might have been awakened by Damian coming into your room and getting into the bed only for you to keep close to him or it would be the other way around.

Tags-

@idkmanicantenglish​ @queengeorgiaaa​ @lucy-roo​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @random-fandom-girl-24​

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

No Courage - Ryan Seaman x Reader

Summary: Dallon insisted on throwing Ryan’s birthday party at the Weeke’s place, when all Ryan really wanted was to spend some time with you

Reader: female implied? idk, no pronouns, i think...

Warnings: alcohol consumption

Word count: 5 031

A/N: as promised and several days late: the Ryan Seaman birthday story. Also can someone tell me what’s up with me writing for a Ryan, the story being 4000+ words and the couple ending up cuddling on a sofa? I just think it’s perfect.

Ryan was not entirely convinced by the idea to celebrate his birthday at Dallon’s house. He kept insisting that since it was his birthday, you all should celebrate at his place, mainly because secretly he had hoped for a calm evening with some of his closest friends, who he could discreetly ask to leave around midnight in order to get some extra time just alone with you. Because let’s be honest: every time you were invited over to his place, you stayed and helped clean up. Even though he probably would not manage to be honest enough with you to tell you why exactly he loved having you over so much, he would still have you all to himself for a little while longer.

But now this plan had been foiled by Dallon, who had decided Ryan’s birthday should best be celebrated at his house. Sadly, Dallon’s arguments were better than Ryan’s. The Weekes’ living room was huge and offered lots of space for many people, way more people than would have fit into Ryan’s entire flat, and this way it had been possible to invite a lot more of his friends. Also, since the house was separated from the neighbouring houses by the garden that framed the property, they would be able to turn up the music as loud and for as long as they liked, whereas in Ryan’s flat they would need to be quiet after ten pm.

Eventually Ryan had given into Dallon’s plan, allowing Dallon to throw the birthday party for him. And so he ended up in the passenger seat of Dallon’s car, at the evening of his birthday, with you in the backseat, as he got picked up for his own party. Dallon was focusing on the street, some quiet music flowing from the speakers as the lights of the city passed by outside. He smiled as you leant forward, poking your head to the front between Dallon’s and Ryan’s seats, and pointed to one of the buildings that was coming closer, randomly dropping a fact about the building’s history.

Just a few minutes later Dallon pulled into the driveway of his home. Since it was already dark outside, you saw colourful lights skipping around inside, reminding you Dallon had spent almost the entire morning installing some party lights at the ceiling. A balloon was stuck to the front door.

In the house a lot of people already waited for Ryan to finally arrive. He was welcomed with cheers and hugs, and Awsten insisted all of you needed to sing “Happy Birthday”. After Dallon and Breezy had made sure everyone had drinks in their hands, and knew where the buffet was, people started spreading around the huge living room and the kitchen.

While you knew most of Ryan’s friends, you were not really close with any of them other than Dallon, Awsten and Josh. But as your luck wanted, they were all busy talking to someone already, so you snuck to your favourite armchair in the Weekes’ household, and sat down at the edge of the crowd, watching them.

You had never really minded being the one at the side lines. From the people in the room, you were one of the few who was not a musician or in a relationship with one. Sometimes meeting with all of them felt like stepping into an entirely different world. Occasionally it made you lonely, because you felt left out, but at the same time you knew you were basically Ryan’s best friend, and even if that did not allow you to be as close to him as you would have liked, it was still a huge honour. Even if it meant receiving phone calls from him at 2am, waking you up, in order to talk to you about music or whatever was on his mind.

You looked across the room, where Ryan was playfully boxing someone in the arm. His hair had grown longer over the past months, as long as it had not been in years. He had absolutely no right to look as soft as he did right now. Brown strands were falling in his face, and his eyes were squeezed together from smiling so hard. You absolutely loved seeing him this cheerful and carefree, so you allowed yourself to watch him a moment longer.

Across the room, Breezy’s and Dallon’s glance wandered from Ryan to you, and back.

“What if we just say we’re renovating the guest room,” Breezy asked quietly.

“Have them share the sofa?”

She nodded. “I mean, they are absolutely blind about each other’s feelings, but sleeping on the same couch should maybe get them somewhere, don’t you think?”

“Better than having one sleeping on the sofa, and the other in the guest room anyway,” Dallon agreed.

“Good, I’ll just quickly lock that room,” Breezy said, leant up to kiss Dallon’s cheek, and hurried off.

In the meantime Dallon was stuck watching how you turned away from observing Ryan, and instead scanned the room again. The second your eyes had left him, Ryan turned his head, and gazed over to where you were sitting. This was ridiculous. Everyone, literally everyone, knew that Ryan and you liked each other, and it was driving Dallon absolutely crazy that you both were too blind to realize it, or too scared to admit it.

A couple of hours later, music was blaring from the speakers in the living room. The couch and armchairs, as well as the couch table had been pushed to the side to make space for people to dance, an opportunity most were taking. The amazing birthday cake, which Breezy and you had spent all morning baking, had been eaten almost completely, and only two small pieces on a plate on the kitchen table were waiting to be eaten by some hungry party guests.

After you had pulled yourself together a couple of minutes after arriving, you had socialised a lot, and talked to almost everyone at the party. But now you had gone back to standing in a corner, watching our friends dancing through the room. Laughing you witnessed as Dallon swirled Breezy around before he dipped her, making he giggle. Some of the others were dancing in pairs as well, the rest jumping around on their own or in little groups.

“M’lady.” Surprised you turned to find Josh offering you his hand. “Care for a dance?”

Laughing you shook your head.

“I suck at dancing,” you answered, speaking loudly enough so he could hear you over the music.

“So do I,” he shrugged, still offering you his hand.

Smiling, you rolled your eyes and placed your right hand in the left hand he held out to you, allowing him to lead you a little further into the room. Turning to you, he grabbed your hand a little tighter, and placed the other on your waist, swaying a little to the beat, and striking up a conversation. Most of the time he was hard to understand over the loud music, but you caught enough of what he was saying to chat with him.

You remembered having danced with him before, at one or two other parties, and how it had always been so relaxed and fun. He was not holding you too tight, not standing too close, he did not spin you around so much as that you would get dizzy nor did he spin you so little as that it would get boring. In fact you had simply fun dancing with him.

But still you could not help but wonder what it would be like to dance with Ryan instead of Josh. You had never danced with Ryan before, at least not in the way Josh was dancing with you now; and you probably would not be so relaxed about it, always feeling like you were behaving clumsily.

Ryan in the meantime had been talking to some old band mates of his, but when they went to grab another drink, and he had turned around, his eyes searching the room for your face as always, and he had found you were not standing in the corner anymore. Confused he looked around before he spied you dancing, with Josh. You were smiling and laughing at something Josh had said, and Ryan could not help but feel a sting of jealousy in his chest as well as his stomach clenching together.

He knew Josh had no interest in you, not romantically. But what if you were interested in Josh? After all he was an amazing guy, who even asked you to dance. It annoyed Ryan that he had not been the one to ask for a dance with you first. He had thought about it, and then always pushed the thought aside, hoping he would find the courage later. And now you were dancing with someone else.

What if you started liking Josh? Maybe it was stupid to think you would fall in love with someone just because of a dance, but then again Ryan had realised he was in love with you because you had smelled on some rose bush while you were on your way walking home back from some gig, and had asked him to smell the roses too, holding the stem of the flower so he had it easier. For Ryan that had been the moment he had realised he was in love with you. Maybe he should have said it then and there on the spot, confessing his feelings with the sweet smell of these pink roses in his nose under the yellow light of some street lantern, a couple of blocks away from your home. But he had not.

Instead he knew that sometimes it were the little things that made people realise their feelings; so if dancing with Josh made you realise you had feelings for him? Ryan did not want you to have feelings for Josh, he wanted you to have feelings for him. Not that he could change much about it once it happened, but he felt annoyed anyway. If only he had asked for a dance with you first, but no, he had been too embarrassed.

Downing the last sip of his drink, Ryan decided it would probably be okay if he asked for a dance with you once the song after the next was over. But as if a higher power was desperate to make him stick to his unspoken promise, Josh let go of you by the end of the song that was playing, and even though Ryan could not understand what was being said, it looked like Josh wanted to fetch a drink as well.

Without much of his consent, Ryan’s feet started carrying him through the room and past several of his friends, while the next song started playing, and before he was fully aware what happened, he stood in front of you, holding out his hand.

“Would you like to dance?”

Ryan’s eyes were almost black in the dimly lit room, only the flickering, colourful spots of the party lights ghosted over his face. His expression was almost unreadable, but he seemed nervous.

“I-“ Surprised you stared up at him. Had you not just fantasised about this, about dancing with Ryan? Why were you hesitating? Smiling shyly, you nodded. “I’d like to.”

Uncertainly you placed your hand in his, noticing how warm his fingers were as they closed around yours. Slowly he pulled you closer to him, close enough so he could put his free hand on your waist, just like Josh had done earlier. Why did it suddenly feel like you had never danced with anyone before? Hesitantly you placed your hand on his upper arm, not daring to meet his eyes, and allowed him to guide you into a swaying motion.

Damnit, you had been right earlier when you had thought about how you would be far too nervous while dancing with Ryan to enjoy anything. Luckily Ryan seemed too focused on himself, careful not to step on your feet or bump you into anyone, to notice your slightly-off behaviour.

When the song ended Ryan made no attempt to let go of you hand, which caused butterflies to flutter in your stomach.

Luckily, both Ryan and you started relaxing over the next few songs, while he made sure never to let go of your hand. He had pulled you a little closer now, his one hand on the small of your back, the other gently holding yours, as he danced with you, spinning you out occasionally, when it fit the spirit of the song, making both of you laugh in the process.

And when the next slow song came on, he stepped even closer, so close in fact that his chest was pressed against yours now. He snuck his arm around your waist, and when you shyly gazed up at him in a mixture of surprise and adoration, you found he was already looking at you. His expression was soft, and a smile pulled at his lips as he watched your features. A strand of his hair dangled into his eyes, and following an impulse, you reached up to brush it away.

Was he blushing? It was hard to tell in the dim light. He definitely smiled a little wider, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. It felt like you were losing yourself in them, every second you did not turn to look away felt like he was staring deeper and deeper into your soul, making your heart beat a little faster, and making you fall a little deeper in love with him. The world around you fell into the background, and everything but him stopped mattering. You would have done a lot to make this moment last forever.

But later, and you were not even sure how or when, you ended up sitting on the carpet in the living room. Most of the other guests were gone already, leaving only your hosts Dallon and Breezy with Awsten, Josh, Ryan and you behind. The flickering party light had been turned off, and instead two small lamps on the wall shed warm, yellow light into the room. The playlist had been switched from upbeat songs you could dance to, to calm piano music.

Someone had prepared a cocktail for you, a mojito with a little bit too much lime for your taste. The glass stood by your side on the carpet, while your hands combed through the soft, brown hair of the drummer whose head was resting in your lap now. How Ryan had ended up there? No idea. But he lazily held a glass with his favourite cocktail balanced on his chest. It was not his first cocktail, and you were pretty sure someone at some point had just handed him a new one without him asking for it, but it really did not matter. Not when you were sitting on the soft carpet in your friend’s living room, comfortably dizzy and slightly tipsy from the drinks you had had over the course of the evening, with the man you had admired and even loved for the past years resting in your lap.

Ryan’s head was turned to the centre of the circle of people, and he laughed quietly at something that had been said. It was pretty late at night already, you realised with a glance at the clock. Your eyes felt heavy and your brain like palp, which was not only due to the alcohol, but also to being tired.

For literally hours you sat on that carpet, talking to the others, and weaving your hands through Ryan’s hair, ignoring your heavy eyelids. Ryan only moved to take a sip from his cocktail every once in a while, and sometimes his eyes met yours, making him smile before he tore his gaze away again.

By the time both Josh and Awsten decided to go home, you felt stiff from sitting for so long, and laughing Ryan helped you up, pulling a little too hard, and causing you to bump into him. Quickly he wrapped his arms around you, and held you in place, nuzzling his nose into your hair while hugging you. When he pulled away, you found Dallon was waiting to talk to you.

“Ahm… we’re kinda renovating the guest room right now, so… I guess, you’ll have to share the sofa,” he explained, with a gesture towards the piece of furniture. “You don’t mind cuddling a little closer, do you?”

Even though you had been pleasantly sleepy before, suddenly you were wide awake. Share the sofa with Ryan? Not that you would mind, but never in a thousand years would Ryan agree on-

“I don’t mind,” he shrugged, still standing so close to you that you felt the movement of his shoulders, “what about you?”

Curiously he looked down to you, but you just quickly nodded your head, agreeing on the suggestion, while at the same time you wondered what the hell you were getting yourself into.

After Awsten and Josh had called cabs and left, Breezy carried a couple of pillows and a blanket down to the living room. Dallon had pulled out the cushions of the backrest, allowing more space on the sitting cushions for Ryan and you to sleep on. After you had quickly prepared the makeshift bed, Dallon and Breezy bid you good night, and went upstairs to their bed room, leaving Ryan and you alone.

Somehow you could not help but feel like you were more nervous about the whole situation than Ryan. He just grabbed the bag with his pyjama, and started taking off his shirt of. Quickly you turned away, feeling slightly embarrassed, as if you would have invaded his privacy, even though it had been him who had just started undressing.

Grabbing your own bag, you excused yourself to the bathroom, where you dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt for the night, and quickly brushed your teeth before returning to the living room, where Ryan had put on some sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt.

He was sitting on the edge of the sofa, a glass of water in hand, and looked up at you with an unreadable expression. The thought shot through your mind of how wonderful it would be, if you were to see him more often like this, comfortably dressed in a pyjama, waiting for you to come to bed. Little did you know he was thinking the exact same thing.

“I’ll go brush my teeth too,” he mumbled, and got up quickly, grabbing his tooth brush, and walked past you to the bathroom.

Looking around you noticed there were still some of the cocktail glasses standing around, so you carried them into the kitchen, placing them next to the sink. You felt weirdly sobered up already, and with a look to the clock you realised it was no surprise; it was almost 5am, and you had finished your last cocktail at around 3.

When you walked back to the living room, you tilted a window to let in some fresh air, and turned off all of the lamps that was still burning but one, leaving just enough light to find one’s way around the room.

A few moments later Ryan returned from the bathroom. A shy smile was on his lips, as he packed away his tooth brush again.

“Do you want to sleep against the backrest or at the edge,” he asked, while clipping his backpack shut.

“I don’t care, rather at the edge,” you decided, “if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” he smiled, and crawled on the sofa, scooting as close to the backrest as possible to make space for you.

Nervously you noticed that even like this there was not much room, especially not if you were trying not to invade his personal bubble. Actually this would be impossible, you realised.

Deciding to ignore that problem, you laid down next to him, allowing him to pull the blanket Breezy had brought, over the two of you.

“Do you have enough blanket,” he wondered, tucking around at the fabric, trying to make sure you were comfortably covered.

“I have plenty,” you reassured him, pulling it a little bit around your arm to demonstrate. “You too?”

“Yeah,” he hummed, “can I turn of the light?” He turned his head just enough to be able to look at you from the corner of his eyes.

“Sure,” you agreed, nodding and cuddling a little deeper into the pillow.

With a click the lights turned off, and you were engulfed by darkness. Now that you could not see anymore, your other senses appeared heightened. Outside the window a cricket was chirping, the fridge was humming in the kitchen, and Ryan was breathing right by your side. The pillow and the blanket smelled of an unfamiliar laundry detergent, and the fabric was a little ridged, probably from drying outside in the sun. For a while you lay in the dark, eyes open. Through the room you noticed the small red light of the turned off TV. You knew you should try to catch some sleep, but with Ryan so close next to you, you were far too distracted.

All of a sudden when you had almost been sure Ryan would have fallen asleep by now, he spoke up.

“(y/n)?”

You hummed quietly, signalling him you were awake.

For a moment there was silence, before he continued.

“I know this is a weird moment, and maybe really unfitting, but I’m tired enough and maybe still tipsy enough to have the courage to say this, but I really, really like you.”

Your eyes grew wider in surprise, not that it would have allowed you to see any more in the dark room, and Ryan could not see your reaction either. Your heart started hammering, and your breath grew quicker, as you turned your head to the side, trying to see Ryan’s face through the dark. He was lying on his back, facing up to the ceiling. A tiny reflection gave away that his eyes were open.

“Actually,” he stopped, “no, scrap that. Fuck, I’ve been in love with you for so long and I’m just scared to tell you how I feel, and too awkward to show you subtly, and definitely not the type who could sweep you off your feet with his charms, but… I just figured we had a lot of fun tonight, dancing and talking and… it all meant so much to me. Like… I know Josh danced with you first, because I was too much of a coward, and I’m really glad you two get along, but I kinda don’t want you to like him more than as just a friend, because I like you more than as just a friend, and I know that just because I want it, doesn’t change anything if you don’t feel the same way for me but… yeah, I know it’s awkward and weird, because you’re actually my best friend, and it’s kind of a real asshole move of me to tell you this while we’re supposed to sleep next to each other when you’ve got nowhere to go but… you know? Before my courage leaves me and all.”

You listened to him, allowed him to spill all his thoughts. It felt weirdly liberating to hear him talk about his emotions, so naïvely honest from lack of sleep. He was saying all the things you had dreamt of hearing him say for so long, and you could not help but smile when he talked about Josh. You wanted him to know that it was okay that he had hesitated to ask you for a dance; wanted to assure him that just because he told you in this weird situation of lying next to you in the dark, you were not mad with him; wanted to laugh at him because of course you did not like Josh more than you liked him; wanted to let him know that you could understand why he had never mentioned anything before. After all, neither had you. But you were too overwhelmed by his confession. This was something you definitely had not seen coming at all, so you were left entirely speechless.

Once you had finally processed his words, you turned to lie on your side. He was still staring up to the ceiling, and flinched in surprise as he felt your soft hand brush against his cheek. Slowly he turned his head to look at you.

“So what do you think,” he wondered, as if asking for your opinion on his feelings.

In the little light it was hard to make out his face, but the way you knew him, you supposed he was furrowing his brows a little.

“Can you kiss me?”

Your words were so quiet that you were not sure if you had even spoken them, not to mention whether Ryan had heard them, especially because for a few seconds he did not move.

When he did, he pushed himself up, supporting his weight on his elbow, and looked at you confused.

“What,” he asked weakly, his expression hidden in the dark.

“Just thought it would make sense, you know, if you like me and I like you…” you explained quietly, suddenly feeling almost ashamed for your boldness.

“No. No, no, no, (y/n), you- you don’t understand,” Ryan protested. “I don’t just like you, I… I’ve been thinking about you every night before falling asleep for… years, probably, I lost count. I don’t just like you. I love you. I love you as my best friend, and I love you as so much more than that. And I don’t want you to just kiss me because you like me, because I’m your friend. I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings, but I don’t think I can, or want to, kiss you without you feeling this way too. I just wanted you to know how I –“

You silenced him with a finger to where you assumed his lips were, an apparently you had aimed correctly.

“I wouldn’t ask my best friend to kiss me if I wouldn’t have been in love with him for ages, don’t worry,” you defended, trying to see his reaction in the dark, but failing.

For a moment there was absolute silence, even the fridge seemed to have quieted down all of a sudden. And before you even realised what happened, Ryan had grabbed the wrist of your hand that was reaching up to his face, and had pinned it next to your head, while he leant down, and crashed his lips against yours, finding them even in the dark.

At first it seemed like all air was knocked out of your lungs before you remembered how to breathe again. You turned slightly so you were on your back, Ryan leaning over you, his fingers intertwining with yours from the hand he had grabbed, while he used the other to keep himself propped up over you. Your free hand had wrapped into his nape, weaving into the hair and holding him close. He tasted of toothpaste and orange liquor from the drink earlier, maybe even still a bit of alcohol, all of it strange and intoxicating and so much more than you could have ever imagined. His lips were a dry, but still soft, like the skin on his neck and the hair that wrapped around your fingers. Ryan’s breath was uneven, just like your own, and you could feel his heart beat against your chest in sync with yours.

His kisses were urgent and passionate, as if he could not believe what was happening, as if he had to take as much of the moment as possible should it turn out not to be real. And if you were quite honest, you too felt like you could not believe it. Soon enough he nibbled at your lower lip, asking you wordlessly to open your mouth for him. You complied, earning a quiet sigh from him as he kissed you deeper. Like a lightning the sound went through your body, and a feeling of pride and satisfaction settled in your chest, realising it was just because of you that he had made that little sound.

All too soon your mind was a dizzy mess, and no matter how addicting and intoxicating Ryan’s kisses were, you needed a break. Turning your head slightly, you broke the kiss, but instead of pulling away immediately, Ryan pressed a short kiss against your cheek and then against your jaw, before he brushed his nose against yours, and leant back a little, settling at your side. Since it was so dark, it was hard to make out the details of his face, but you could see the smile that spread over his features. It was the kind of smile he was not even aware he carried, making it all the more beautiful.

For a while you just looked at each other, your eyes finally growing a little more used to the darkness around you, allowing seeing more details; the crinkles around his eyes, the dimples on his cheeks, the hair that fell into his forehead. Slowly his eyes started falling closed, no matter how hard he tried to stay awake, blinking again and again, and you too felt overwhelming tiredness pull you towards sleep.

“Can we cuddle,” he asked suddenly, his eyes already closed. It was a strange question, because you were already snuggled into his side with his arm wrapped around you.

Not answering, you scooted as close as possible, and hugged him around his middle. Immediately, as if he had done it a thousand times already, and in his mind he probably had, he tightened his embrace around you, pulling you so close that your bodies were pressed against each other. His forehead was gently resting against yours, and as he pressed a short kiss to your lips again, you could feel how he smiled, causing you to smile a little brighter as well, before you shuffled around to lay more comfortably, and fell asleep in his arms.

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @recommendedattheprice  @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterflycore @starduststyx @angelevansfalls @vamp-void

[winchester-writes]

Help Me?

Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 854

Warnings: angst :) language, mentions of cheating from ex oc, mentions of physical abuse, I thin Dean being fluffy counts too lol 

A/N: Hey guys!!! It’s been a hot minute!!!! So I texted a couple of pictures with prompts (like the below) over to a few of my friends and told them to pick two.  The below two sentences were picked by the lovely @jerkbitchidjitassbutt! <3 I know it’s not super long but I hope you guys enjoy!! Also I know this was a while ago babe...I very much appreciate the sentences and I hope this was the angst you were looking for lol 

Tagging just a few who might like (idk probs not lol): @ilikethedisease67, @abaddonwithyall, @pada-ackles, @oriona75, @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​, @atc74​, @feelmyroarrrr​, @kittenofdoomage​, @manawhaat​, @mrswhozeewhatsis​ 

Summary: *Bolded in story* “I didn’t know what to do. I-I shouldn’t be here, but please…” “All he ever did was use you. Why can’t you see that?”

You knocked frantically at the door, hoping anyone would answer, fear filling your being the more you stood outside. You kept looking behind you every couple of knocks, very aware of how dark it was and wondering if that specific someone was lurking in the shadows ready to strike. Once the door was open enough to peer outside, the person inside sighed and opened the door wider to get a better look. You realized how you might look, tousled hair, scraped hands and knees with a nice busted lip to boot. A nice cut above your eye along with small little scraps and dirt littering your skin but you still tried to give a small smile.

“Y/N…” the person on the other end sighed and pinched the bridge of their nose.

You were quick to interrupt, “Please! Please…I know what I said last time and I can’t take back the words that I said. I didn’t know what to do. I-I shouldn’t be here, but please…you’re the only person I trust, Dean.”

Dean sighed, he knew he was going to let you in because he could never say no to you but after the argument the two of you had last time, he was hesitant. Not wanting to get back into the situation they were in before.

“Come on in, let’s get you cleaned up sweetheart.” Dean gave a small smirk as you walked passed him, looking around in the dark once more before closing the bunker’s door.

Once inside, you both quietly made your way over to the bathroom. You sat on the toilet as Dean reached into the cupboard for the First Aid kit.

“He broke up with me.” you voice was just a little above a whisper, Dean paused a moment and closed his eyes. He knew that you’d be staying for good now...with him. Now was his chance to make things right and get you back to yourself again. The self that he fell in love with. Dean remained quiet as he maneuvered to sit in front of you.

A couple tears fell on his hand causing him to look up and when he did, he finally got a good look at you in the light. That dickhead never deserved you and Dean didn’t understand how someone could do this to you, in his eyes, you deserved the world.

“This was the result of him kicking me out so his new and ‘better looking’ girlfriend could move in instead.” You sniffled and wiped at your face gently, “So it’s officially over.” I hiccuped and tried to catch my breath, “I bet you’re happy now.”

Dean gave a dry chuckle as he began cleaning up the cut above your eye, dabbing a cloth with alcohol on it, “I’m not going to lie, yeah, I am a bit relieved. He can’t hurt you anymore…” Dean leaned forward a little more and wiped a stray tear, “...and now I don’t have to see you cry anymore.”

You were grateful to have Dean still with you, especially all the mean things you both said to each other. “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean…”

“Hey stop it, it’s all okay.” Dean said as he started cleaning up your lip. “That’s all over now, you’re here and you’re safe.”

Your breathing picked up again and Dean instantly knew what was happening, he set down the rag and hugged you tight, holding your head close to his chest.

“I-I thought he loved me!” you sobbed out, clutching onto Dean’s shirt.

Dean closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, “No Y/N, this is not love and it never was. You coming home with a new cut or bruise is definitely not love. All he ever did was use you. Why can’t you see that? All he wanted from you was your paycheck half the time and sex the other half. The love was one sided and I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. I tried warni-…”

“I know! And I pushed you away and said I hated you and that you were an asshole who’d stay single and you didn’t deserve any of that and-...”

“Hey whoa whoa, what did I say? That’s over now. You weren’t the only one that said mean and hurtful things that day. I regret that fight every single day and now I regret it even more. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you sweetheart.”

You looked up into his eyes and set a hand on his cheek, “You’re here now and that means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

Dean gave another smile before he let you go to turn on the bath, “Good, now let me take care of you.” He leaned over to grab the First Aid kit to put away. “Turn on the shower or take a bath, I’ll get you some clean warm clothes and some food along with a movie night. Come out whenever you're dressed and ready.”

Dean smiled down at me once more before placing a soft lingering kiss atop my forehead, “Welcome home sweetheart.”

[aleksanderrs]

introducing ; 𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒌𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒏 .

( herman tømmeraas , cismale , he/him , aquarius , 21 ) i just spotted aleksander ‘ aleks ’ thorsen at the beach today . don’t you know them ? they live down by the rocks and usually hang out with the stoners and outcasts cliques . from what i’ve heard , they can be impulsive , but they’re also honest . i always think of them when i hear hell is where i dreamt of u & woke up alone - blackbear and tend to associate them with bruises and scratches decorating pale white skin , a backpack filled with narcotics , flicking off the cops on the freeway with a smirk on your face .

note that this is a pretty triggering intro ! i’ve tried to put a tw before any bullet that mentions something triggering , but i may have missed something . if you do read this intro , read it with caution please , as i wouldn’t want to trigger anyone ! 

tws : foster care system , violence , injuries , drug and alcohol abuse , shooting resulting in death , suicidal thoughts 

stats

full name : aleksander carter thorsen peters

nicknames : everyone calls him aleks , like …. everyone . some people call him sander and he’s fine with this one too , but usually just aleks tbh

gender : cis male

height :  5 ′ 10

age : 21

birthday : february 5 , 2000

zodiac : aquarius sun , aquarius moon , scorpio ascendant

right handed or left handed : right handed

eye color : hazel , shooting more towards green , but shifts colors with the lighting 

hair color : naturally very light brown , nearing more towards dark blonde , but he always dyes it a super dark shade of dark brown or even black . you’ll never catch him with that light ass hair of his tbh lmfao

piercings and tattoos : he has a septum piercing he hides by flipping it upwards whenever he feels like it tbh , literally a fuck ton of tattoos ! he has a pretty decent stick and poke on his left ankle he did himself when he was like sixteen that says ‘ aurora ’ ( twin sisters’ name ) , he has one that reads  ‘ murphy , 1961-2021 ′ on his inner right bicep ( will get into that later in his intro ) , he has these fingers tattoos on his left hand ,  this tattoo on his inner left bicep , ‘ livet er nå ’ on his left wrist ( which means life is now in norwegian ) , a little pitbull face tattoo to honor an old dog he loved so much named pawly , ‘ 2000 ′ ( year he was born ) in the middle of his left arm , ‘ oasis ’ diagonally on his right arm right above his wrist ( fave band there guys ! ) , an aquarius symbol on his right ring finger , honestly a bunch of random ass small aesthetic tattoos ? probably a little alien , a mini drum set tattoo , a random small thunder tattoo ? probably the word ‘ fuck ’ somewhere like .... idiot who gets a lot of random tattoos idk what to say , literally is probably a centimeter away from losing his shit and impulsively getting a face tattoo he really doesn’t give a fuck anymore tbh KJVNDVJFV

languages spoken : english , norwegian , basic spanish , but wants to learn it fluently 

sexuality : bisexual / biromantic 

place of birth : long beach , california

hometown : literally everywhere , no permanent hometown tbh

last four songs listened to : faint by linkin park , supersonic by oasis , mama by my chemical romance , torture me by red hot chili peppers 

character inspo : a mix of chris miles and james cook from skins u.k , lip gallagher and mickey milkovich from shameless u.s , callie adams foster from the fosters , eli ‘ hawk ’ moskowitz from cobra kai ( season 2 hawk ) 

backstory

so aleksander , or aleks as he prefers to be called , was born six minutes after his twin sister aurora , to two norwegian parents ( julie and anders ) , both twins being the first american born in their family . his father was a no show from the start , and his mother was something else . him and aurora endured their mother’s heavy drug abuse , living in a crappy environment with an actual crackhead , until she was deemed unfit to take care of them and they were taken from her by child protective services when they were seven , instantly thrown into foster care . his mother didn’t care enough to ever even get them back , signing away her parental rights , and choosing drugs over her own two children . aleks hasn’t seen her since , and has no desire to ever see her again at all 

as a kid , he was pretty soft . he didn’t like mean people and was fairly sensitive and highly emotional , two things that you literally cannot be if you’re a foster kid , which , unfortunately for aleks , was exactly what he was . basically exactly how you could picture a foster child’s life really . him and aurora managed to stay together for three years until they were separated from each other at ten years old

i guess you could say this is when things changed drastically for him . he assumed they might get reunited eventually but it never happened . he would cry himself to sleep every night because of how lonely he felt and he actually had no friends at all . if anything , the kids at his home would constantly make fun of him for being so sensitive and crying so easily . he was completely on his own , and really sad

he came to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t really survive if he continued letting his emotions get the better of him . by the time he was twelve , he altered his personality drastically and changed altogether . what really happened is that he let his anger and resentment get the better of him

he just became super fed up with how fucked up the system is , and how literally no one wanted to adopt a kid his age ? the lack of sympathy from his fellow foster ‘ siblings ’ , and a mixture of everything going on around him , he kind of gave up and turned into this version of himself that took shit from no one . he never stayed in a foster home for more than nine months regardless of whether he behaved or not because something always seemed to come up for some reason ? this of course , gave him no real stability . 

he got thrown into a foster care family , the johnson’s , when he was fourteen , and for a while , it seemed like a pretty top notch foster home , definitely the best one he’s been in by far . i say for a while because shit went down hill pretty fast , literally in less than five months . aleks had an unlikely friendship with the foster parents’ son , kyle . kyle was four years older than him ( eighteen ) but it seemed to work at first since they shared the same room , until one day , they get into a pretty heated argument at school ( kyle is a senior , aleks is a freshman ) . to this day , aleks genuinely doesn’t even remember what the argument was even about , but this was the argument that flipped his life upside down more than it had already been flipped 

! violence and injury tw for the next four bullets , read with caution or skip ahead if it will trigger you ! they’re outside getting into it , petty ass verbal argument tbh , when kyle strikes him right in the face . doesn’t really end there though because this grown ass eighteen year old man dead ass starts beating his ass . actual understatement , like , beating his ass like he’s getting paid for it type shit . he can hear people around them screaming out ‘ fight fight fight ! ’ but it’s really , really not a fight though ? like it’s just this eighteen year old beating the living shit out of a fourteen year old kid , a literal fucking child

eventually when it’s over , kyle threatens him . tells him that if he says anything at all , he’s going to make sure he gets sent to a group home or frame him for something he didn’t do to get him sent to juvie . aleks is seriously just laying on the floor , holding back the urge to cry , injured as hell , wondering where the fuck that came from . it was just so random ? he really thought he was friends with this guy and he just gets his ass beat over an actual fifth grade argument . he’s been picked on before , even shoved or had sour fights with people before , sure , but he’s never in his damn existence been beaten like that before . super low point in his life because it’s the first time he genuinely got his ass handed to him and then some , but definitely not the lowest point 

when he gets back to his foster home , he tells his foster parents he was jumped . makes up this entire story from the crack of his ass . it actually makes him physically and emotionally sick to sleep in the same room as kyle , but he tells himself it is what it is . he doesn’t rest that entire night . the next day though , he waits until kyle is sound asleep to get up from his bed beside him and hover over at him , watching him snore soundly . a million and one thoughts run through this kids head , but it’s mostly just hurt , anger , disgust , and this sick need to get back at him . it’s this fight in his head , one voice telling him to let it go while the other voice screams at him to fuck him up . aleks momentarily decides on taking the higher road , knowing it could get him into huge trouble if he lays a hand on kyle , but that decision to take the higher road vanishes when he looks up above the fuckers bed and see’s the mirror that hangs on top . he stares at his reflection , spotting his bruises , the swollen bits of his face , the scrapes and cuts , how fucked up he looks , and he acts completely on impulse , his anger getting the better of him . aleks grabs kyle’s soccer trophy from on top of his bed stand , lifts it up above his head , and smacks him right across the face with it . this obviously wakes up kyle instantly , but aleks has the upper hand , since kyle is laying on his bed , half asleep , and without a weapon . aleks starts fucking him up with the thing , you can hear kyle’s screaming loud and clear , and it’s not long before kyle’s parents come rushing inside , obviously pulling aleks right off him , and well , you can kind of see where this is headed 

moral of the story , aleks is considered a high risk foster child with that little stunt he pulled . his first actual offense , but it still gets him sent to juvie for three days , and that’s really just because the judge is being nice considering his situation ... i don’t even think i need to describe what juvie was like because like we see movies y’all we know JKFNDJF . he broke kyle’s nose , scratched his cornea , and left him with multiple injuries . kyle’s claims don’t help his story either . he tells everyone that aleks is psycho , that he’s wrong in the head , has some serious anger issues and ‘ attacked him out of nowhere when he was just trying to help him ’ , makes him out to be the biggest bad guy in the book , conveniently leaving out the part where he fucks him up with his fists at school . with the squeaky clean record kyle has , no one really cares for aleks’ side of the story at all , especially since he claimed his injuries were from getting jumped . from that point forward , he knows for a fact he’s never getting adopted , and , as sad as this may sound , he doesn’t even care anymore ! end of violence and injury tw !

actually hurting someone the way he did kind of ignited something inside him he didn’t even know was there . of course after a certain age , he grew a much tougher shell and stopped crying about everything , stopped being so damn sensitive , but he’s never laid his hands on anyone before until he met kyle . he wasn’t proud of what he did , it made him feel like shit inside , dirty in a way , and it didn’t give him any sense of accomplishment or bring him any joy , but .... it kind of awakened him to all these different ideas , a different mentality , gave him a feeling of power and superiority he’s never felt before . at that point on , he began thinking ‘ every man to himself ’ , very much katherine pierce from the vampire diaries mind . he does what he does to survive and he doesn’t care who he has to knock down . no one ever cared for him , he stopped caring for people  –  that’s that .  

it took everything ( like dead ass everything ) , to convince the judge not to put aleks in a group home . he was , thankfully , placed in another foster home , but with much higher restrictions than his last . it was school and back , the doors were locked at 9 pm , bedroom doors included , windows sealed shut .... just bad , but it beat being in juvie , so again , he told himself ‘ it is what is it ’

began acting the fuck out . new home , new school , he became the bad kid your parents warned you about , begged you not to hang out with . skipping class , a nasty smoking habit , talking back to the teachers  –  he actually stopped giving a fuck , and his behavior just worsened as time went on . despite his own birth mother being a drug addict , he did the same shit . he turned to drugs , alcohol , and violence , mostly . hanging with the wrong crowd , slick ass mouth , not afraid to punch someone , on some illegal shit , but , he became very street smart and learned to keep his shit ‘ low key ’ as he called it , really .... just not getting caught . he was barely barely passing school , just enough so his ( current ) foster parents wouldn’t bug him about shit . eventually moved to another home without as many restrictions and decent living , really , really just tried to keep a low profile all while doing hood rat shit on the low #hannahmontanawho?

! drug abuse and drug mentions tw for the next three bullets ! he really , really began to rely heavily on drugs and alcohol . started off with weed , but escalated from there . adderall , xanax , oxy , coke , mdma , even ketamine ... really any drug you can think of , all tried by the time he was sixteen . his top three favorites quickly became coke , ketamine , and obviously weed . aleks thinks he has the whole situation under control , swears he’s become a master of deceit , but it’s only really a matter of time before shit catches up to you , right ? 

he’s sixteen when him and a couple of his friends decide to drive to santa monica just for the fuck of it . they swear they’ll get him back in time , all with the idea to get really fucked up by the beach and go on an adventure . only problem is they get too fucked up and attract too much attention up to the point of getting caught . four teens running in different directions from the cops , high as fuck .... lovely tbh 🥴

again , you can kind of see where this is headed .... him and another guy were the unlucky ones , of course . aleks gets caught with only a joint on him , but tests positive for a bunch of drugs . it’s already his second offense too . he gets four days in juvie this time , drug counseling once he’s out . the only problem is no one really knows where he’s going to get placed after this , though he’s pretty sure it’ll be some high restriction group home , but very surprisingly , he’s wrong ! end of drug abuse and drug mentions tw !

the day he gets released from juvie is the day he meets a man named murphy peters , or my favorite person ever ( what aleks will soon come to think of him ) . murphy isn’t really too sure about taking him in until he gets told ‘ well if you don’t take him i guess i can just send him to a group home ’ . they just look at each other at that moment , aleks’ eyes filled with unshed tears , beat up and tired , and murphy turns back to the guy and legit says ‘ nah , don’t even bother . just a few weeks , right ? ’ 

he’s super shut down emotionally when arriving at his place . murphy is a single foster parent with an old , really friendly pitbull named pawly for company , no other foster kids in his apartment . being tossed around so much , aleks assumes it’ll only be a matter of time before he fucks up and gets sent somewhere else . that’s how it always seems to go down anyways , and he did only say a few weeks after all 

but things take an unexpected turn for the better on the second day he’s there . three in the morning , he’s awake but the lights are turned off , pitch dark . he randomly hears murphy open the door and pretends to be asleep . a part of aleks feels like this might get dark very fast . after all , he lives alone . he’s a single foster parent , and aleks has lived through enough in the system to know how fucked up it is . the last thing he’s really expecting is for murphy to shake him roughly like ‘ wake up kid , wake up , i know you not really sleepin’ ! ’ so he kind of just sits up and turns on the light like um .... it’s like three am , and murphy is pacing back and forth around his room like ‘ aight , i figured it out , kid ! ’ and aleks is just like haha yeah cool ..... again , it’s three am

strangely enough , murphy starts telling him his life story , through and through and aleks can’t help but think how this old man he met two days ago figured all this shit out . it makes him angry that he’s apparently so transparent ( he’s really not , murphy is just next level ) . truth be told , he wants to swing at murphy , and he knows it’ll get him into deep shit , but he does it anyways . imagine his shock when this old man blocks his punch and manages to slam dunk him back onto his bed . he’s just like what the fuck aren’t you like eighty KVBFDJ

moral of the story is they get into an argument and aleks eventually tells him that the reason he’s so angry is because he ‘ can’t beat up everyone he hates , you included ’ ( half true , but definitely not the only reason he’s so pissed at the world ) , even more random when murphy is like ‘ i’m gonna teach you some healthy ways to let out that anger , be ready at ten am , kid ! ’ and aleks really thinks he’s making fun of him so he’s like ‘ yeah , okay .... fuck you old man ! ’ as murphy makes his way out

but ... he’s not talking shit ! ten am on the dot and he’s getting dragged to what he thinks is a gym , but it’s actually a dojo . he thinks murphy is talking out his ass when he tells him he’s going to teach him karate , and enroll him in boxing classes for the summer . he’s just wondering how this old solitary man is gonna even teach him good karate to begin with , but he soon learns that the old saying don’t judge a book by it’s cover is pretty much murphy to a t

he is right though . he starts boxing and karate and it does help him a lot ! he realizes how much doing these things gets his mind off everything . even though he’s basically ‘ fighting ’ it brings him a strange sense of peace , and surprisingly ? discipline too . he knows this whole thing is temporary but it still changes his mindset a lot . he mostly begins to focus on physical activity and becoming the best at what he’s doing rather than his old bad habits like drugs and alcohol , stealing , any type of petty crimes he used to commit . at the time he didn’t want to admit it , but murphy was definitely right . this was for sure helping him take out all the anger he has inside , all without doing things that could get him arrested

and him and murphy start to really bond too . they both like the same bands , they’re both aquarius’ , similar tastes in tv shows and movies , they both have nearly the same sense of humor , murphy was even a foster kid like him who out grew the system , but again , aleks really tries to not get attached because he knows he’s just being nice , but he really really starts to fuck with murphy . deep down in his head he’s like ‘ i kind of wish he was my dad ’ .... making me emo and shit smh

when school comes around , beginning of his junior year , he manages to convince everyone to let him drop out and get his ged . school really just isn’t for him and it never has been , being in a place with a bunch of other teens for like eight hours for five days a week gives him anxiety , just drains his social battery completely . he does drop out , but he’s pushed so roughly by murphy to get his ged , he manages to pass the test by late november , basically graduating over an entire year ahead of his actual class

and life seems to get better from there ! murphy eventually tells him he wants to make this a permanent thing . aleks gets so happy he actually bursts into tears 🥺

the entire process takes a lot longer than necessary though , especially with his record . in the beginning , they can’t find his actual birth certificate . his actual birth father , for some reason , refuses to sign away his parental rights at first ( aleks is like bro i literally hate you .... sign the fucking papers ) . kind of starts to seem like the whole universe is against him . every time the coast looks clear and it seems like they can go through with the adoption process , something happens and delays the entire thing . it actually takes him over a year until he finally gets legally adopted by murphy , when he’s seventeen . actually the happiest day of his life

things only seem to get even better from then on out . he gets his driver’s license , his tattoo artist license in california when he’s nineteen , starts working at an actual shop in venice beach when he’s almost twenty . he’s not the best at first , but not terrible . eventually , he becomes really really good though . he basically paints , listens to music and does a mixture of boxing and karate during his free time . he tattoos and pierces people for income , starts saving up because he really wants to drive down to mexico one day , with murphy in his rv . actually the road trip of his dreams !

but , remember when i said it kind of seems like the universe is against him ? 🥴

it’s february first of this year , four days before his twenty first birthday , and nine days before murphy’s , when him and murphy get into a fight . aleks can’t even recall what the fight was about , but he gets so angry , he takes murphy’s rv and drives to god knows where . he gets really drunk one night and starts doing a bunch of dumb shit , but his dumbest idea has to be stealing a backpack full of diamonds from these two guys . gets chased by them for a moment , but manages to get away , all while being told ‘ you’re gonna regret that shit so hard bro ! ’ . in his defense , he had no idea the backpack was filled with diamonds , he just liked the way it looked because it was a kipling ? he liked the little monkey keychain ? imagine his surprise when he opens the thing and see’s probably at least half a million dollars in diamonds . he’s just like wow that’s crazy .... i’m gonna drive back home right fucking now . four , almost five years of sobriety .... thrown down the toilet when he gets drunk , but he tells himself it was just a single slip up . that he’ll do better 

he gets back home february sixth , the day after his birthday . spends his actual twenty first birthday passed out and hungover , asleep on the bed inside the rv . he tries walking past murphy as he’s outside wiping down his car , hoping he can just pass by him without being questioned , but of course he’s wrong . another fight in aleks’ eyes , but it’s really just murphy bitching and questioning him because he cares about him , because he’s obviously concerned that he’s been gone for the past five days , phone off and everything . it starts escalating until aleks eventually screams at him and tells him that he needs to ‘ stop pretending like he actually cares about him when all he feels towards him is pity ’ which , kind of just shows that he never really got over his trust issues and general trauma from being in the system . and there’s just a moment of silence before murphy is like ‘ i don’t know when you’re thick headed ass is gonna realize i’d take a bullet for you if it came down to it ’ and of course , aleks doesn’t believe him ! now fast forward to another half second of arguing until murphy’s words are actually put into action

! guns / shooting resulting in death and panic attack tw , please skip past this bullet if this triggers you ! they’re outside when a white van drives by , he can clearly hear an angry familiar voice shout ‘ i told you you were gonna regret this ! ’ , a gun pulling out from the window crack , and he gets so nervous he just freezes on the spot . he knows exactly who it is  –  it’s the guy he stole the backpack from like , two days ago . aleks knows what he’s going to do , but he can’t seem to move . he really thinks he’s going to die , until this man literally steps right in front of him , and , just like he stated not even a whole minute ago , actually takes a bullet for him . gets shot right in the chest , and by that time , all the neighbors are outside , calling the police . the area is too heated , so the van drives off quickly after missing the shot , no license plate or anything so it’ll be harder to identify who it was . you can imagine how traumatic this moment is for aleks , and the saddest part ? he really thinks murphy will somehow magically make it , like it’ll be some type of miracle all over the news and such  –  but he’s wrong . murphy bleeds out right in front of him , aleks doing everything in his power to try and stop his bleeding , but there’s really nothing else that can be done . the last two things murphy tells aleks is to ‘ please take care of all the clown paintings around the house ’ and ‘ never lose them , don’t let anyone take them , keep them no matter what ’ and he’s pretty much gone before he can tell aleks why . he gets so so nervous , he doesn’t know what it was at the time , but he starts having an actual panic attack . all his neighbors coming up to him like ‘ oh my god kid , are you okay ? ’ and trying to help the whole situation like ‘ help is coming right now ’ but it’s kind of like aleks can’t hear a word they’re saying ? like his heart is just beating so fast and he’s suddenly sweating so much and he can barely breathe . it’s like his body is there , but his soul , his mind ? gone , panicking , hyperventilating . everything from then on seems like a blur . getting told murphy’s dead in the hospital , which he definitely already knows . the police statement he gives , half there , half not . that day , it’s like a part of him vanished . he really was not the same ever since ! end of guns / shooting resulting in death and panic attack tw end !

he panics , hardcore . the first thing he does when he gets home is instantly take all his clothes , murphy’s computer , and general important things into the rv . he doesn’t know why murphy is so fixated on the clown paintings , but of course he grabs all twenty of them , he puts those in the rv as well , connects murphy’s car to the rv , and just starts to drive , far away from venice beach . like half a million dollars in diamonds inside a backpack on top of the passengers seat , too traumatized to stay in murphy’s apartment . he just starts to drive , with the intention of going to mexico , but then his dumb ass realizes he doesn’t have his passport on him . he keeps driving until he reaches san diego , and that’s the story of how he ends up in sunhollow

he genuinely doesn’t know what to do from that point on . he pawns the diamonds and purchases an rv site and gas /electric for nearly three years , so he doesn’t have to worry about about rent for a while . yes , he’s really just living in his damn rv because he doesn’t know what else to do and he terrified . he ends up in the rocks , the rougher part of sunhollow . for the first few days , he’s petrified , super afraid the guys who ended murphy are going to find him . thankfully , that doesn’t happen , but he’s still paranoid about it

he actually cries like a baby during murphy’s birthday on february tenth . if he was still here , he would be turning sixty . imagine how awful he feels , that his actual real last conversation with him was an argument .... he hates himself tbh 

from that point on , all the progress he’s made gets flushed down the drain . the only positive thing about the whole thing is that he manages to get a job in this new city in half moon ink as a tattoo artist and piercer , with his prior experience . besides that , it’s all shit . he’s living in an rv , he doesn’t know what he’s doing or where he’s going with his life , he’s scared , and the worst part of all ? he starts abusing drugs and alcohol again , heavy this time . all his sobriety and hard work all these years ? completely gone

aleks really said ‘ fuck self love , we’re doing all the drugs ’ after murphy died . he’s just super not okay about it because he knows he’s gone because of him , because he couldn’t keep his damn sticky fingers to himself . he’s basically spiraling super hard now , and he knows wherever murphy is that he’s not happy with what he’s doing , but he can’t seem to stop . it’s like once he started using again , there was no going back

so he keeps doing hoodrat shit tbh ! his dumb ass ends up getting caught with resins of cocaine in a bag , on february twelve , literally on his birthday month . the offense wasn’t that bad because it was just coke residue , but it’s still basically a felony , and with his past record , he gets actual prison time . he was going to be in prison for a whole two months , originally three , but he got off lucky . however , with good behavior and community hours , he ends up in there for only a month , got out recently on march fifteenth . he’s doing community hours and getting drug tested by his p.o , he’s under house arrest too . he can be out between six am to six pm , but if he’s not right back in his trailer by six pm on the dot , well .... i think you can figure out what happens

he’s barely getting by really , known around town as trailer trash for obvious reasons , literally currently wearing a fucking ankle monitor . i don’t really think he cares about anything anymore ? like he’s just so done with it all . he didn’t even flinch when he got caught , didn’t try to run and willingly gave in ( which helped with his case but ) , like , that’s how done he is . genuinely didn’t care that he was going to actual prison . he just does not care . he’s barely living , one day at a time

i’m gonna end his backstory here , below are some headcanons !

headcanons

! drug abuse , suicidal and death thoughts tw ! this is kind of sad , but he’s reached a point in his life where he doesn’t really care if he lives or dies . in fact , he spends a lot of his time thinking about how he’s going to die , when , if it’ll be painful or not .... really really depressive and dark suicidal thoughts . the only thing is that despite everything he’s gone through , aleks doesn’t have it in him to actually commit suicide . he thinks about it constantly , thinks about getting run over by a car or drowning or shooting a damn bullet through his head , literally any type of death , but he would actually never pull through with it . he wants it to happen , but he doesn’t have it in him . this is a reason why he abuses drugs so much at this point . of course he likes the high , but in the back of his mind , he’s really really hoping he’ll take so much , it’ll kill him . that way if he dies , it won’t look intentional , just like your typical overdose . like , his heavy drug usage is literally a cry for help . he really doesn’t care if he takes it too far , he actually wants to take it too far always , but he never seems to overdose . he’s mixed a bunch of stuff before , but it just doesn’t happen ? in a way he feels he’s cursed , because he can’t even overdose and die properly . again , his idea of the universe being completely against him ! end of drug abuse , suicidal and death thoughts tw ! 

he actually .... doesn’t have a smart phone ! no bullshit , has some crap flip phone and a government phone he uses to speak to his p.o , that’s it . the only smart type of technology he really has is murphy’s 2018 mac book pro and a smart tv he has set in his rv . he rarely gets close to anyone , but on the rare occasion that he does , if they ask for his number , no bullshit , he gives them the number from pizza hut , has it memorized and all . you have to be really , really special for him to give you his number . the only people who really have his number are customers ( people he tattoos , and does piercings for ) like , that’s literally it . isn’t part of the gc ( the ic chat on discord ) , doesn’t have an instagram , twitter or any type of social media , actually old school as fuck , which is wild , considering he was born in 2000 

he has a fuck ton of cds ! literally no one has cds anymore but he has so so so many . oasis , red hot chili peppers , my chemical romance , sleeping with sirens , arctic monkeys , yes , asking alexandria , the list goes on .... so many cds because this is really all he does in his rv . play a cd and start painting or sketching some tattoo ideas . he loves music a lot and considers it an escape , even though he doesn’t have a musical bone in his body and doesn’t play any type of instrument , but he just loves music so much , literally always listens to music no matter what he’s doing . his favorite band is oasis , murphy put him on that band . they’re favorite song was supersonic and they would listen to it together on repeat forever while driving , jamming to other oasis songs on the road as well . aleks listened to supersonic on repeat on the ride from venice beach to san diego . he cried the entire way . 

he’s like ..... a kleptomaniac for real . he’ll walk into a clothing store with a large hoodie on , grab twenty different shirts , go into the dressing room , put on ten of those twenty shirts , slide his oversized hoodie on top , and walk right out . sometimes he won’t even have any real reason to steal stuff , he just does because he’s bored . will go into a store and take something he doesn’t even need , surprisingly has never been caught . very reckless of him considering his situation , but again , he just doesn’t care anymore . he spends a lot of his money on drugs , so he’ll steal basic necessities sometimes , like toilet paper , tooth paste , soap , shampoo and conditioner . the weirdest thing he steals hands down is like .... family pictures of people he doesn’t even know ? like it’s so weird , he’ll jack a wallet , take all the money , and realize there’s like a family picture in there , the wife , the husband , their kids , a dog . weird as fuck , but he takes the money and family picture and throws out the wallet ? again , super weird , but i think never really having a legit family and losing the one person he loved unconditionally who believed in him caused this ? he’s just like you know .... what let me live through the eyes of these people <3  super fucking strange , literally has a few pictures of random ass families he doesn’t even know at all just stuffed into his glove compartment , for no reason at all .... fucking weirdo tbh

another fun fact is he has hypermobile shoulders ( or double jointed shoulders ) . he realized this when getting handcuffed once , his arms behind his back . he thought to himself ‘ i feel i can bring my arms above my head to bring my handcuffs to the front without breaking my arms ’ surprise , surprise , he definitely could ! does that weird shit and brings his entire arms from the back to the front while holding them , he said undercover contortionist here !

this is a wild headcanon , but remember those twenty clown paintings murphy insisted aleks never get rid of ? entire story behind those things . so murphy ? actually won the powerball in 2015 . no lie , magically got all numbers right , won 238 million . with federal withholding and taxes and all ? still left murphy with a stacking 101 million dollars . he spent less than half , leaving him with exactly 64 million dollars . now you would expect him to start living a glamorous life after that right ? well wrong ! he remained humble as ever, bought an rv and the car he wanted , payed off his bills , donated some money to charity , but continued living in his hood ass apartment in venice beach , kept quiet about the entire thing , never told a single soul . he’s the type of old school guy that would rather keep his money under his mattress rather than in a bank , doesn’t trust banks , only had a debit card because it was absolutely necessary , and a credit card he never really used , really just to build decent credit . he knew he couldn’t empty his entire account in one go , so he emptied it , little by little , gradually with time , until he eventually had all 64 million dollars in cash , all one hundred dollar bills . he knew he couldn’t store the money in a duffel bag like an idiot , so what did this man do ? literally .... put the money inside the paintings . no lie , inside the paintings . he knew no one would ever wanna steal a hideous clown painting , he was smart about it . each painting is stored with 3.2 million dollars inside , all one hundred dollar bills , meaning each painting carries exactly 32,000 one hundred dollar bills inside , tightly packed together so they all fit , wrapped and all . now really , really stop to think about this ..... aleks ? actually has 64 million god damn dollars inside his rv , stored inside those hideous clown paintings , and the most wild part ? he has absolutely no idea at all . to him , they’re just ugly ass clown paintings that weigh a ton ( because they’re stuffed with money , aleks ! ) . crazy , right ? everyone in sunhollow thinking he’s dirt poor trailer trash , without a nickel to his name . shit , he thinks the same thing too ! positive he’s gonna die broke as fuck and alone , but little does he know ? man is carrying 64 million in his shitty rv , and he has absolutely no fucking clue at all . definitely going to accidentally find out one day ( but that calls for a future self para tbh )

murphy had no intentions of spending all the money on himself , planned to donate the other half and spend the rest living his final days in santo domingo , dominican republic ( literally .... that’s how humble this man is ) . around that time is when he started fostering aleks though , and after the first few months with him , he knew , right away , that he was going to give that money to him one day . didn’t tell him about it because he knew it would freak him out and he wouldn’t stop asking about it , but he knew all that money would be his . stored it all away in those terrible clown paintings , specifically because he knew no one would suspect a thing . wanted to tell him about it , but passed away before he could . aleks still doesn’t know what’s in those paintings , has them stacked away somewhere because he thinks they’re so ugly , but would never throw them away because it was murphy’s last wish . the day he finds out what they actually have inside though ? his life will do a whole 360 . again , i’m gonna work into that though

people just think he’s trailer trash tbh and he does nothing to prove them wrong . i think his reputation just follows him around . lots of people don’t bother to get to know him and he doesn’t really bother to get to know people . he’s a big ass loner , spends nearly every single day alone minus when he’s at the tattoo shop . lots of people are really intimidated by him , especially with all the rumors about him , and that fucking ankle monitor tbh , but he doesn’t care , doesn’t do anything to try and stop what people think . he’s like if people wanna think i’m trailer trash whatever i don’t care , and he really , really doesn’t

he’s actually kind of a low key hoe ? bisexual as fuck and will hook up with just about anyone . it’s wild though because he’ll fuck you and kind of just disappear ? half the time he doesn’t even do it on purpose , he’ll kind of just dip without giving you his phone number or even wait for you to wake up . like you’ll maybe wanna make breakfast for both you guys , but you look to the other side of your bed and he’s no longer there . no phone number , no way of contacting him , kind of just a ghost . he never let’s people come over to his place ever ( because .... rv tbh ) so it’s not like there’s any way you can really see him again if you wanted to . unless you randomly see him somewhere , but odds are he’ll disappear into the background before you even really get a chance to talk to him . gives him this asshole reputation , but the truth is he just doesn’t want people getting too close to him out of fear that they’ll abandon him . you’ll think you’re starting a lovely friendship with him or even just a great hook up and he’ll randomly just ghost for like six months 🥴 never see him again type shit

he actually .... doesn’t really like being touched at all ? it’s weird because he likes sex a lot and doesn’t mind being touched everywhere in that moment during the heat of it , but like let’s say afterwards maybe you wanna cuddle ? you wanna greet him with a hug ? a little kiss on the cheek ? he’s not comfortable with that . he doesn’t mean to be an ass about it , but he actually physically cringes when someone just greets him with a random hug without any type of warning . will literally push you away and be like ‘ please don’t touch me again ’ . maybe this has to due with his childhood in general but like .... do not greet him with a random hug or kiss on the cheek ever because he will literally disappear so fast , push you away so quickly . if he initiates it , sure , but if it’s just random from the other party , he’s not gucci with it . i think if he finds someone he actually really cares about and vibes with he would be okay with physical affection ( example , he let murphy hug him all the time ) , but like let’s say he just meets you and you wanna go in for a friendly hug ? he’s gonna take like three steps back . makes him look like an asshole , but he really can’t help it . he doesn’t like being thrown off guard like that , strangely feels like he doesn’t have control of the situation ? he’s super weird tbh . he’s fine with a fist bump , or a quick handshake though

he hates mind games ! hates them . he’s definitely not the type of guy you can give a million hints to and he’s fine just figuring them out and going along with it . he doesn’t like indirect people who say one thing but mean something else and say this with hopes that you ‘ catch on ’ , he hates that difficult shit . he will catch onto every single hint you send , know exactly what you want too , but he’s not going to do anything about it . he wants someone who can be blunt and upfront with him , someone who knows what they want and shouts it to the world , someone who will tell him what they want from the start , no sugar coating , no beating around the bush , no mind games or backwards flirting . he’s a very blunt person , will tell you what he wants right off the bat without even blinking , doesn’t believe in the will they/won’t they bullshit . you’re either upfront and straight up with him , or you can play those mindgames for like , fifteen minutes with him before he ghosts you quick as fuck . like you want him to be super unattracted to you ? play mind games with him , beat around the bush , and hint at stuff while never directly telling him what you want . watch you never hear from him ever again tbh

he actually did half the tattoos he has . he’s become a very skilled artist , really good at sketching , painting , anything involving art with his hands . it’s relaxing to him . he hasn’t done any type of boxing or karate since murphy died , but he can very easily pick up from where he left off . he has a black belt , very good at both things , but has been avoiding it since the whole thing with murphy went down 

he actually has undiagnosed bipolar disorder and even ptsd , especially from that bullet . he doesn’t really know this , but even just the sound of a gun going off can trigger him , take him back to murphy’s backyard , blood everywhere . it’s never happened to him before thankfully , but it’s a possible idea for a future thread or even self para . he has ptsd over lots of things that happened in his childhood and teen years , but a gun shot would probably really trigger him . for his bipolar disorder , he has a mixture of both manic and depressive episodes , but mostly manic ones . he’ll be awake for an entire week and not even really feel tired , fake elevated happiness , but it’s hard for him to notice he even has a problem with how heavily he abuses drugs . being high all the time never gives his brain a moment to think

literally getting drug tested every other week , but he’s still doing drugs ? he’s currently barely smoking weed because he knows that stays in your system forever , but drugs that flush out in just a couple of days or don’t even show up ? he’s all for it ! catch him with niacin , cranberry pills and juice , and cleansing pills like , two days prior . he hasn’t failed a drug test yet but he’s still doing drugs . actual dumb ass criminal mastermind ? like .... the lengths he’ll go to get high but not get caught ..... go to fucking therapy and rehab aleks holy fuck

murphy’s old pitbull ended up dying at seventeen years old , in 2018 ! no one thought he would make it for so long , but little guy did . aleks still remembers the pitbull , has a little pitbull small tattoo somewhere on his right arm in honor of this dog . his name was pawly 

despite the fact that he hasn’t spoken norwegian in over a decade ( last time with his sister ) , he still vividly remembers it , since it was basically his first language . like , he claims he doesn’t remember it anymore , claims he forgot , but if someone just randomly starts speaking norwegian , his brain would instantly put all the words together and he would start speaking back fluently . you can’t forget what you fully learned , aleks !

a part of him wants to reconnect with his sister . he hasn’t seen her in over a decade , has no clue where she’s at , if she ever got adopted or if she’s even alive at this point . he really wants to find her but doesn’t know where to start ? little does he know she’s literally living in sunhollow too ( shoutout to aurora thorsen sparks )

really , really wants to be a vegetarian , later on a vegan ! he loves animals so much , has seen so many documentaries where he knows fucking animal slaughterhouses and meat is like the number one cause of the green house effect ( especially slaughter houses , watch cowspiracy on netflix to get an idea ) , but he’s a broke ass bitch right now and just eats whatever , when he’s even hungry . he always tells himself that if he ever has money ( HAHAHA LITTLE DO YOU KNOW ALEKS ) that he’s definitely going to become a big ass vegan . loves cows so much , would dead ass go ‘ moo ’ if he were to ever meet one and would probably be upset if they don’t moo back at him 🤡

he has never left california , literally ever . he’s been nearly all around cali , but has never left , not even to another state  –  it’s legit all he knows . he really , really wants to travel , take a road trip down to mexico ( literally even knows some okay spanish from being friends with so many mexicans and central and south americans ) like , he just really wants to go anywhere . he’d like to visit his parents’ hometown , a little town in norway named stavanger . he wants to go all around south america , buenos aires , rio de janeiro , lima , he just wants to go places and see life from outside the shithole he’s been stuck in since forever , and one day he will do it ( when he finally finds that fucking money damn ) . if he could choose to live anywhere , he would probably wanna go to his family roots , in norway . he already speaks the language so it should be fairly easy ( kind of wild how he wants to do all this yet he wants to die at the same time .... sad boi hours tbh )

may not look like it , but he really can kick your ass if he wants to ( that karate / boxing in him be like 😜 ) . if you see him from far , he looks like a little soft angel ( baby face that will never go away ngl ) but don’t let his physical appearance fool you ! he will dead ass high kick someone in the face if he has to , no remorse . he isn’t as violent anymore compared to when he was a teen , but if he feels like he’s going to be attacked or feels like you genuinely want to physically hurt him , he won’t hesitate to fuck you up 

even though he’s grown a tougher shell over the years , he’s very low key still a softy . deep down inside , he’s still that little kid that would cry whenever people were mean to him . he can be very sensitive and compassionate ..... but on the inside . obviously he no longer bursts into tears like he used to as a little kid , but contrary to popular belief , if you really get to know him , he’s soft . shows with how much he loves animals , and it’s weird because he doesn’t like being touched unexpectedly , looks like a bad ass and acts like one , but deep down ? soft ass heart , too soft for this world , needs to find the right person to actually connect with and cuddle gdi

he has the tiniest little scar , right below his right eye , where kyle decked him ( left handed punch ) . it’s really barely even noticeable , and lots of people who have short conversations with him won’t even realize . if you’re talking to him for a while , and really admire his face though , you’ll notice it . again , not a huge scar , not super prominent , really blends in with his skin , and usually something most people miss , but it’s there

i’m gonna end this here because this is long and i’m going to leave connections to brain storming , but below is his birthchart !

[avigenshin]

Oc Idea (Note: This is gonna have a lot of missing info and plot holes cuz i just wrote this for fun and didn’t give too much thought into it) (It’s also gonna be a little messy)

Name: Ava

Age: 15,000

Appearance: White hair and baby blue eyes. (She also has albinism)

-Ava is the princess of a highly respected and prosperous kingdom. The royal family of said kingdoms are the descendants of long forgotten gods and have ruled over the country for millennia.

-The royal family also aged slower than the average human and also held some traits later developed in life due to their lineage such as immunity to poison, the ability to float, etc. Traits differ from each person in the royal family.

-Ava has an identical twin brother named Aaron. Unlike Aaron who was born healthy Ava was born with a weak constitution. Due to this the young princess was abandoned at a long forgotten and old palace with few maids to take care of her.

-However due to her weak condition no one wanted to take care of her except for a young lady by the name of marianne. Marianne was a woman with blonde hair and pink eyes. Marianne had taken care of the princess as a way to cope with the loss of her younger sister. Giving the princess the love that she could not give to her sister.

- 20 Years passed and the princess was now 2 years old. Ava was a bright and cheerful child that longed for the love of her parents. She could never understand why she was abandoned. Had she done something wrong to displease them? She always thought

-Truthfully, It was due to her older twin brother, Aaron. Aaron was known as a genius due to the fact that he could pick up and learn subjects faster than his peers and was always praised for it. Whilst Ava who only had Marianne to teach her what limited knowledge she had could never compare to him.

-One day, on her 4th birthday. She decided to pick some berries in the nearby forest so that she could bake a cake with Marianne when she happened to stumble across a man with white hair and golden eyes.

-The man introduced himself as Runi. Curious, Runi asked the princess what she was doing here and they talked until late into the day. After that fateful encounter the princess would often sneak into the forest to talk to Runi.

- Years passed and Marianne had met her end. Runi took pity on the princess as she had no one else to turn to and offered to stay by her side and teach. The princess not wanting to be alone agreed and became his pupil.

-During her studies under her new master/teacher. She met Runi’s other pupils, a man with black hair and emerald green eyes by the name of Treyton and another man with baby blue hair and orange eyes by the name of Ethan.

-One day, guards swarmed the palace and took the princess to take her onto the battlefield. This was due to the fact that their kingdom was now at war and each noble including the royal family must send a representative from their family to go into battle for their family’s honour. The king and queen not wanting to risk their son’s life chose to send the princess to war instead.

-They justified it as “mercy” for the young princess as she was born with a young constitution and was bound to die soon.

-Thankfully,her master had taught her some skills to defend herself. She managed to survive by using her wits and small stature.

-She however, while patrolling the area managed to stumble across a boy that looked to be of the same age as her. Not noticing that the boy was from the enemy kingdom she called out to the boy and asked if he needed assistance.

-The boy was not interested in idle conversation and immediately lunged for the princess and after what felt like hours of fighting. The princess, out of sheer dumb luck managed to pin the boy to the ground.

-The princess not wanting to harm the boy as he seemed to be in the same situation as her offered her assistance. To which the boy laughed in her face “You're as young as I am not to mention you’re far less experienced than I am. How could you possibly help me?”

-She grew silent and drew her blade. The boy shut his eyes thinking that the princess was going to strike him but then he heard a clinking sound. It was the sound of his collar falling to the ground.

-”How did you…” “My master taught me that!” She exclaimed proudly. The boy after much contemplation decided that he would let the princess help him as she seemed to be much more skillful than she lets on.

-The boy introduced himself as Ray. He explained that he was taken as a slave/soldier by the enemy king after his parents died due to his powers. He was trained as a killing machine and was not allowed to rest until his training had been completed.

- Together, the princess disguised Ray as a knight of her kingdom and they both managed to slip away unnoticed due to the chaotic battlefield. The enemy king yelled at Ray for treason and threatened to murder Ray if he did not kill the princess.

-Ray became quiet and drew his bow at the princess only to shoot the king at the last second and push him off a cliff where he met his demise.

-After the war, Ray was welcomed into the kingdom and was brought in as an honorary knight for his bravery. He was also offered a position as the prince’s personal guard but declined insisting that he would rather stay with the princess who set him free.

-Thus,Ray became a pupil of Runi. Together, the four pupils and their master were inseparable and did everything together. However, the war had taken a lot out of the princess. She collapsed one day and got sick due to it.

-The fact that none of the maids took care of her only made her condition worse and Ray who was only taught to fight had no clue how to help the princess. Her fellow pupils had their own lives and were not able to take care of her 24/7. There was a high chance that the princess would pass away soon.

(At this point I no longer have anymore brain cells so pls bare with me)

-Runi who had gotten too close to her, refused to let her die and so he saved her using his godly magic. Truth be told Ravi is an ancient god that is related to the Royal family however he can’t tell Ava the truth or he will be forbidden from talking to her again.

-After this incident, the princess got better however she and Ray were once again thrown into war . However, unlike the previous war this one had lasted for 10 years. During the 10 years the third prince was born and Aaron was crowned as crown prince.

-However, after the war Ava and Ray had both received official titles and were given better treatment from the maids and butlers. Ava had won multiple battles for the kingdom and was given the position of “General”. At the young age of 10.

-While the princess’ reputation grew so did the bond between her and her twin and younger brother. Despite the fact they grew up differently they had a lot in common. The same could not be said about her relationship between the princess and her parents. She grew to despise them more and more as she grew older and always argued with her parents about everything.

-One fateful day, her parents died due to a car crash. However, the prince was 17 and not of age yet to take the king’s place. There were several arguments about this until a person proposed that they let both the twins rule under the supervision of the royal council and by some miracle everyone agreed. （Don’t ask me how or why idk either lmao)

-And thus began her rule as a queen (ig i don’t know. I’m really tired lmao)

-I’m too lazy to type properly so meh-

-So like- during her rule she one day finds a dragon kid in a burned down village cuz she took pity on him. The dragon’s name is Ravi. Shenanigans happens and she eventually adopts the dragon kid. However, there were multiple protests from everyone. She was like nah f ya’ll i’m keeping him >:D.

-She then got kidnapped at some point in her life and almost got married to some crazy prince but Ray killed him so we good now.

-Then, a child was abandoned by the castle. So she took it in and raised it as her own. She named her “Celeste”

-Then, she found a third kid who’s a mermaid named Ceru who was injured by the shore and at first she wasn’t gonna adopt him but then his mom died and she had to take him home lol.

(That’s pretty much all i got for now)

I wanna d i e now i remember why i don't write much lmao

[soldieronbarnes]

Malec prompt - My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?

Uhhh this…..completely got away from me? It’s a lot longer and a lot angstier than it was supposed to be….sorry? Not sorry? idk.

___

“Okay, what is wrong withyou?”

The question - and particularly the accusingtone of it - shakes Alec out of his stupor. It’s a testament to how out of ithe is that the only response he manages is an intelligent “huh?” 

He blinks, shaking his head to clear his head,but in the end, Magnus Bane is still standing in front of him, a stack of bookshugged to his chest and eyebrows raised and it’s - well, it’s a lot. It’s alwaysa lot, to be the focus of his attention, to be faced with his….everything:his incandescent beauty, his razor sharp wit and brilliant mind, his smoothcharm or his biting contempt. 

Alec flounders. Magnus Bane is the secret starof all his late-night fantasies, his verbal sparring partner in their shared Introduction to Clave Law class andall-around thorn in Alec’s side. 

They snipe at each other a lot.

What they don’t do is talkoutside of class.

Alec quickly runs through a mental inventory ofthings he might have done to offend Magnus so horrendously that he’s corneringhim in the corridor, eyes blazing, and comes up empty. Unless his mouthdeveloped a mind of its own in the last sixty minutes, there’s nothing he couldhave possibly said. And if there’s one thing that Alec knows how to do is makesure nothing unintended ever slips out of his mouth, to keep his closelyguarded secrets.

“I didn’t do anything,” Alec defendshimself. 

“Exactly,” Magnus says irritably. 

“I don’t follow,” Alec admits. 

“You didn’t participate once this session.What, do you want to tell me the professor can drone on and on about thelegitimacy of Downworlder discrimination and you don’t have an opinion on that?No raising your hand to offer your…..valuable insights?”

“What, are you my professor now?” Alec says,snippy. “I don’t need lectures from you on how active participation is abig part of the final grade.”

“That’s not why I’m asking.”

The last thing he needs right now is picking afight with Magnus, but he can’t help it. “Why are you asking?I’m sure you enjoy class less when you don’t have a convenient punching bag foryour arguments, but newsflash: I don’t owe you an explanation on why I don’twanna engage in that. It’s not like it’s any of your business.” 

“Well, I’m sorry for stepping on your toes byexpressing my concern for your general well-being,” Magnus snaps. “GuessI’ll remove my lowly Downworlder self from your presence before I leave a stainon your perfect reputation or something.”

For the third time in their brief conversation,Alec is completely thrown. “I - that’s not - what?” 

Now that he sees actual fury on Magnus’handsome face, covering up a brief flash of something that looked almost likegenuine hurt, he realises that the expression Magnus wore before was lessfurious and more….furiously concerned. 

He doesn’t think he’s ever been this confusedin his life.

“Magnus, wait!” He struggles to catch up withMagnus’ quick strides – he has a head start, and he’s surprisingly tall, but inthe end, as they’re hurrying down the deserted corridor that leads to the notoriouslyill-tempered professor Fell’s office, Alec’s freakishly long legs win out. “Magnus,will you just –“

He grabs him by the biceps, and Magnus whirlsaround faster than lightning. To his credit, he doesn’t punch Alec in the face.Maia, he knows, would have had a much more violent reaction to being seizedlike this. Most Downworlders would – recent attempts to smooth things overbetween the different factions in the Shadow World haven’t done much to assuagerational fears and suspicions based on several centuries of near constantoppression and maltreatment.

“Sorry, I – sorry,” he blurts out, quicklywithdrawing his hand. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not contagious, despite whatyour precious Clave might tell you,” Magnus sneers.

“Can you just stop for a second?” Alec snaps. “Don’tput words in my mouth!”

“Why would I?”

“I’m trying to apologise here!”

That seems to take Magnus aback. “For what?”

Alec takes a deep breath. “I – don’t reallyknow what’s going on here,” he admits, waving his hand around in what he hopesis a sufficiently all-encompassing gesture. “I mean, we don’t really….talk, andI guess I was confused and had my hackles up, because I was having a shit dayanyways but – none of that is your fault, and I shouldn’t have taken it out onyou. So I’m sorry.”

Magnus cocks his head. “I appreciate thethought, but as you so astutely pointed out, you don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I did owe you the apology, though.”

Magnus hums contemplatively, and, against allodds, lingers. Alec knows a challenge when he sees one, or maybe it’s aninvitation – he’s misjudged Magnus’ intentions before. He doesn’t really wantto talk about it but – well, if he’s honest, it does grate on him to not havehis siblings around, constantly needling him until he talks about what’sbothering him, and he doesn’t really have friends here to confide in.

He’s been told that friendships often formbetween roommates just by virtue of being stuck with one person in closequarters for a long time, but his roommate Raj is a grade-a asshole, and otherthan that, his options are limited; there aren’t many Shadowhunters here, andthose that do attend generally think he’s insane for being the only one Nephilimvoluntarily choosing to go to thefirst integrated college when he was good enough to attend theShadowhunter-only and highly acclaimed Idris Academy. The Downworlders, on theother hand, who make up a majority of the student body, are all understandablywary and tend to avoid him when they can. He’s cordial enough with a lot ofpeople, but there’s no one he would say he’s actually close to. He’s gettingthere with Maia, he thinks, who’s brazen enough to yell at him and so fargrudgingly impressed by the lack of times he’s given her an actual incentive tostart a fistfight.

So maybe it’s a need for connection, or maybeit’s the fact that Magnus is everything Alec isn’t while simultaneouslyprobably one of the few people who might understand, that causes Alec to talk.

“Campus tours are next week.”

“I’m aware,” Magnus replies, raising hiseyebrows at the sort of non-sequitur.

“My siblings are thinking about going here aswell and – that means the whole family is coming. Including my parents.”

“I take it that will not be a joyous reunion?”

“Uh, no. They’re still angry with me for not goingto Idris like they wanted and –“ Alec hesitates briefly, and then decides tonot give a fuck. The truth is going to be out there soon one way or another. “Andeven angrier with my ruining the marriage they had arranged for me.”

The first, he had been able to mostly explainaway with logical arguments about Shadowhunter politics – if he was supposed tolead an Institute one day and work with Downworlders, he’d need to get a betterunderstanding of them, especially in the changing political climate. The latter– not so much.

Magnus looks almost at a loss for words. “It ismy understanding that arranged marriages are so traditional for Shadowhuntersthat they are virtually unavoidable,” he says cautiously.

“Basically.”

“Another way for you to rebel, then?” Magnussuggests. “Fighting for more freedom of choice?”

Alec shakes his head. “It’s not the arrangementpart that I couldn’t handle. I know my duties, my responsibilities, that’s not –that wasn’t the problem. Many of the couples end up kind of happy, anyway.”

“What part disagreed with you that much, then?”Magnus asks softly. He can probably see where this is going, judging by the wayhe’s now clearly careful of his words and by the way his entire demeanour seemsto soften.

He takes a deep breath, and steels himself. Hishands are trembling, which is stupid – everyone on campus knows that MagnusBane will judge you for pretty much everything, but not for this.  There’s no one else around – everyone knows tomake a wide berth around professor Fell’s office at all times. “The part whereI was supposed to marry a woman.”

Magnus goes to say something, but Alec barrels on.He’s not sure he could stand to hear some supposedly affirming and supportiveplatitudes right now. “They’ll forgive me for the choice of college eventually,I guess, but – not that. Don’t – please don’t say you’re sorry or whatever.Just – it’s just the way it is. I’ll deal with it.”

Magnus accepts that with a nod, and remainsquiet for a long moment. “So what’s the plan?” is what he eventually asks.

It’s not the question Alec was expecting. “Sorry?”

“For the upcoming visit of hell,” Magnusclarifies.

Alec shakes his head. “There is no plan. Getthrough it, I guess. Izzy and Jace will try to intervene when things get out ofhand or take some of the family heat if possible, but there isn’t much thatwill stop them.” He shrugs a little helplessly.

“So what, you’re just going to keep your head downand take it?”

“You got a problem with that?”

“No,” Magnus says quietly. “It just doesn’tseem like your style. You don’t generally strike me as the type of person to letsomething like this slide without a fight.”

“How would you know?” Alec asks, and oh, he’sgetting defensive again now.

Magnus doesn’t take the bait this time. “Alexander,”he says, “as much as we disagree on howthings should change, or how quickly steps must be taken, I haven’t ever seenyou defend a bigoted law or damaging stereotypes. Why are you willing to defendpeople like me from people like your parents, but not yourself?”

Oh, but he had forgotten how scarily perceptiveMagnus can be. “It probably won’t even be that bad,” Alec says, desperatelytrying to deflect. “I’m sure they’ll just use the fact that I’m single to arguethat I’m just confused and will change my mind and it’ll be fine once theyconvince themselves of that.”

For a brief moment, Magnus looks angry. He doesn’tthink anyone but his siblings has ever been angry on his behalf. It’s a strangeexperience. “Sounds like you need a boyfriend to show off to them to stop thatludicrous line of thinking once and for all.”

“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend, so –“

“You could have a boyfriend,” Magnus sayseasily.

Alec snorts. “Yeah, right. Magnus, half thepeople at school won’t even look at me, and I’m not really good at this kind ofthing anyway. Plus, even if I didfind someone to go out with me – who’d want to meet my parents after a week?”

“It wouldn’t need to be real.”

“What, like, hire someone? No one would go forthat, and if I have to pay someone to date me – well, I’d rather spare myselfthat particular humiliation.”

Magnus bites his lip, almost nervously. “Iwould do it,” he offers hesitantly.

Alec stares.

“For free, even,” Magnus adds. “I’m always infavour of sticking it to homophobic and racist bigots.”

“Uh,” Alec says dumbly. “You do know who myparents are, right?”

“The Lightwoods are rather famous, yes,” Magnus says drily.

“Then you know how they’d react to –“ Wordsfail him. He can only weakly gesture between the two of them.

Magnus smiles bitterly. “They are rather famousfor that as well, so yes.”

“Why would you –“ Alec falters. “Why would youwillingly subject yourself to that? Why would anyone – I mean, they’re my family, it’s not like I have a choice – but you shouldn’t have tosuffer through that. Not ever and – you get enough crap from Shadowhunterswithout painting a huge, deliberate target on your back for me.”

In front of him, Magnus’ eyes hold an infinitesadness that threatens to choke Alec. “You know,” he muses, “when I first heardthat the Lightwood heir was going to go the same school as me, I was expecting –well, I was expecting many things, none of them pleasant. But you – I don’tthink I could have predicted a single thing about you. At every turn, youcontinue to surprise me. Look – “ he continues, “if you don’t want to go for itbecause it’s – too much for you, I get it. But if you’re only turning me downto protect me, don’t bother. I don’t need anyone to protect me. There’s nothingthey could say to me that I haven’t heard a thousand times before.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” Alec argues hotly.“You shouldn’t have to hear it at all.”

“And neither should you,” Magnus points out. “ButI can assure you, in my experience, if it can’t be avoided, then it’s easier ifyou have someone there to help you through it, to have your back. You don’thave to do everything alone, Alec.”

It’s – it’s too much. The magnitude of Magnus’offer sends him reeling. Even worse is the heady feeling of being judged byMagnus Bane and being found worthy when that notion of getting his approval isutterly ludicrous to him. Magnus shouldn’t choose him. Not like this, not ever,maybe. When Alec had run after him he’d at best expected a chance to extend an olivebranch that would help them get back to the way things were. A part of himthink he shouldn’t even be contemplating it, but –

It would be so good to not be alone in this,for once.

He draws in a shaky breath. “It’d be ugly,” hewarns.

Magnus’ smile is small and lopsided, but it’s there.“Fighting for something important usually is.”

“Right.”

“Do you have class now?”

Alec blinks at the sudden change of topic. “Notuntil five.”

“Then how about we get some coffee and just –talk, figure things out?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure, that sounds good.”

Magnus’s smile widens, soft and sweet andgenuine. It’s the first full smile he’s ever directed and Alec, and Alec thinks– if he just keeps smiling at him like that, then Alec can do anything, getthrough everything the world and his parents throw at him.

His heart is fluttering in his chest, and itfeels a lot like hope.