#ryan seaman x reader imagines

[robinrunsfiction]

Christmas/Winter Alphabet - D is for Date

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: None  Word Count: ~1,000 Author’s Note: Sorry this got delayed. I changed my mind on what I wanted to do in the middle of the day yesterday and just didn’t have time to get it done last night. Anyway, threw in a little reference to the IASIP Christmas episode for good measure :)

You took one last look in the mirror, evaluating the white dress with a high neckline, trumpet skirt, and strands of glittering beads that draped over your upper arms that you’d chosen to wear. You worried it was too fancy, but there was no time to change now, so you took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hey Ryan,” you smiled when you saw your friend standing on the other side, but he didn’t respond. “Ryan?”

He shook his head, as if you had pulled him back to earth. “(YN), you look stunning!” He gushed genuinely.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment. “Thanks, you look really nice too. Are you ready to go?”

“Sure,” he nodded, offering you his arm.

Ryan had been invited to a winter gala benefiting the music charity he’d been involved with and had asked you to be his date. You weren’t sure if he had asked you because you were friends and he thought you’d be fun to go with, or if this was going to be a date date, which just added to your nerves. But either way, you were excited to spend a night with Ryan. He was one of your closest friends, which made the feelings you had for him that much more complicated.

As you walked into the performing arts center that was hosting the event, your breath was taken away by the beautiful, glimmering decorations filling the space. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to an event this fancy,” you said wide eyed. “It’s so beautiful here!”

“It’s nothing compared to you,” you heard Ryan say. You turned and looked at him, surprised at his compliment, only to find him looking just as startled. “I, I mean, umm, do you wanna get a drink before the concert?”

“Sure,” you agreed quickly, making your way to the bar. You both sipped your drinks, neither making eye contact. “So are there assigned seats for the concert?” You asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.

“No. I think some of the best seats are reserved for the big donors, but I think we can sit wherever.”

“Can we sit like way up high?” You asked excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to sit up in the highest balcony and just take everything in from there.”

The smile finally returned to Ryan’s face. “Of course, whatever you’d like,” he replied.

You found yourself blushing again at the way he acquiesced to your suggestion as you started up the grand staircase to the upper most level of the hall. As you carefully ascended the stairs in your fancy dress, Ryan placed his hand on your lower back, causing your stomach to flip.

There was no one else on the upper balcony, everyone else electing to sit closer to the stage. You grabbed seats in the front row so you could look down on the crowd. 

“Afraid of heights?” You asked with a laugh when you noticed how Ryan was sitting back in his chair

“Nope,” Ryan replied confidently. “The view is just as good back here.”

You rolled your eyes disbelievingly and sat back. The previous awkward tension seemingly forgotten as you and Ryan started talking easily. When the orchestra began to play, you were mesmerized, but also a bit distracted as you felt Ryan’s eyes on you instead of the stage. You glanced over and he looked away quickly. The evening continued on that way, you glancing over at Ryan to catch him watching you instead of the orchestra. Eventually you bit your lip and worked up all your courage and rested your head against his shoulder. You felt him glance down before shifting to wrap his arm over your shoulder. He rubbed circles against the bare skin of your arm and rested his head against yours.

When the music was over, the crowd dispersed for the dinner portion of the evening, but neither you nor Ryan moved to get up and join them.

"Ryan, can I ask something," you said breaking the silence.

"Yea, sure," he answered, turning to look at you.

"Was this a, umm, a like real date? Or did you just invite me because we're friends?" You asked shyly.

A smile spread across his face. "I asked you because I hoped it would be a real date. I really like you (YN)."

"Good," you nodded. "Because I like you too and this is a really good first date."

Ryan laughed nervously. "Well I don't think I can top this, if you wanna go out again that is."

"Our next date could be throwing rocks at a train, I don't care as long as I'm spending time with you,” you laughed lightly.

Ryan cupped your cheek with his hand, and you leaned into the touch as he  kissed you. For a moment you forgot how to breathe as his lips moved against yours. You reached out, clutching at the lapel of his suit jacket, trying to bring him in any way closer to you.

“Excuse me! No one was supposed to be seated up here, especially now that the concert is over!” You heard someone exclaim as you and Ryan jumped apart. An exasperated usher stood at the end of the row of seats as you looked down and realized the rest of the hall had cleared out.

“We didn’t know, there wasn’t any sign or anything,” you said apologetically as you got up. 

The usher shook his head in annoyance as Ryan took your hand and lead you out. As you made your way back down the stairs, you made note of how your hand felt in Ryan’s. It gave you butterflies to think he liked you as much as you liked him and that now you’d be able to hold his hand whenever you wanted.

“Wanna blow off the rest of the event and get outta here?” Ryan asked when you reached the lobby.

“I don’t care what we do, as long as we can go together,” you smiled.

Ryan smiled softly before he leaned in and kissed you again. “Let’s go.”

[the-rarest-sexiest-coinkydink]

Kinktober 2022 with Az 😉

Hello friends! And welcome to my personal Kinktober 2022 list - I hope you enjoy your stay... 

Here’s how this is going to work 

my requests for this particular list are now closed

day prompts will be assigned a person on a first come first serve basis - so if you snooze, you lose! 

any prompts that aren’t filled by the 28th of September will be assigned a person by me, either with a specific person I had in mind or by a lucky dip process 

prompts will be posted in their numbered order. So if you request number 29, it will be up on the 29th of October. No sooner. 

if you want to make any additional requests related to a certain prompt, then please do! As long as the detail you want isn’t under my list of things I won’t write, I’m happy to add things in :)

People I will write for: 

- MCR: Gerard Way/ Mikey Way/ Frank Iero/ Ray Toro 

- IDKHow: Dallon Weekes/ Ryan Seaman 

- Twenty one pilots: Tyler Joseph/ Josh Dun 

NOTE: my prompt list is now FULL - but you are more than welcome to keep requesting horny things for me to write. I can’t promise when they’ll get posted as I’ll obviously be prioritising the October challenges for now, but I will get around to them.

The basics: 

- most importantly: no matter how much you like my work, DO NOT put it into spaces where the real life subjects of these stories may see them (i.e. tagging people on twitter, copying links into a discord server etc). It’s one thing to write fanfiction based on how we imagine real life people to be, but shoving it in those actual people’s faces is crossing a MAJOR line. Boundaries are important, people. It’s okay to have sexual thoughts about people. It’s not okay to make those people aware of them - especially if they don’t know you personally. 

- all ‘reader’ characters will be written as being OVER 18. If you are under 18, please do not interact directly with my work. If you decide to read it, that’s on you. But no comments please - you will be blocked. 

- I will not write: incest, explicit non-con, daddy/mommy kinks, kinks related to the use of real weapons. That’s about it. 

My ‘default’ reader character:

- gender neutral

- more on the submissive side

Please add as much detail as you want to requests, I’ll do my best to keep up with it all!!

And now, for the fun part... 

First Time | Frank Iero x fem!reader

Phone sex | Gerard Way x fem!reader

Oral | Gerard Way x fem!reader

Aftercare | Mikey Way x fem!reader

Praise kink | Ray Toro x reader

Angry make-up sex | Mikey Way x reader

Sir kink (teacher x student AU) | Frank Iero x reader

Quickie | Gerard Way x reader

Mirror sex | Gerard Way x reader

Overstimulation/ Edging | Frank Iero x reader

Vampire AU | Ray Toro x reader

Breath play | Gerard Way x fem!reader

Shower sex | Mikey Way x fem!reader

Public sex | Gerard Way x reader

Spanking | Ray Toro x reader

Friends with benefits | Frank Iero x fem!reader

Restraints | Tyler Joseph x dom!reader

Morning sex | Mikey Way x reader

Size kink | Ray Toro x reader

Toys | Frank Iero x reader

Lingerie + Costumes | revenge!Frank x fem!reader

Pegging | Gerard Way x (afab)nb!reader

Outdoor sex | Gerard Way x fem!reader

Jealousy | dom!Mikey Way x reader

Caught masturbating | Gerard Way x femdom!reader

Anal | revenge!Frank Iero x fem!reader

Temperature play | Dallon Weekes x fem!reader

Secret relationship | Gerard Way x reader

Sensory deprivation | Frank Iero x reader

Roleplay | Gerard Way x reader

Threesome | Frank Iero x fem!reader x Ray Toro

Open spaces on this list do not currently have a person assigned, therefore I am open to requests for those. 

You may notice that this list isn’t quite as kinky as some other Kinktober lists. That’s for 2 reasons. 

1. There are some things I just don’t know enough about to write (and researching them could be a bit dodgy) 

2. I think people with slightly more vanilla tastes should be able to enjoy Kinktober too <3 

So let loose and have fun - and keep your eyes peeled on every day of October... 

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

No Courage - Ryan Seaman x Reader

Summary: Dallon insisted on throwing Ryan’s birthday party at the Weeke’s place, when all Ryan really wanted was to spend some time with you

Reader: female implied? idk, no pronouns, i think...

Warnings: alcohol consumption

Word count: 5 031

A/N: as promised and several days late: the Ryan Seaman birthday story. Also can someone tell me what’s up with me writing for a Ryan, the story being 4000+ words and the couple ending up cuddling on a sofa? I just think it’s perfect.

Ryan was not entirely convinced by the idea to celebrate his birthday at Dallon’s house. He kept insisting that since it was his birthday, you all should celebrate at his place, mainly because secretly he had hoped for a calm evening with some of his closest friends, who he could discreetly ask to leave around midnight in order to get some extra time just alone with you. Because let’s be honest: every time you were invited over to his place, you stayed and helped clean up. Even though he probably would not manage to be honest enough with you to tell you why exactly he loved having you over so much, he would still have you all to himself for a little while longer.

But now this plan had been foiled by Dallon, who had decided Ryan’s birthday should best be celebrated at his house. Sadly, Dallon’s arguments were better than Ryan’s. The Weekes’ living room was huge and offered lots of space for many people, way more people than would have fit into Ryan’s entire flat, and this way it had been possible to invite a lot more of his friends. Also, since the house was separated from the neighbouring houses by the garden that framed the property, they would be able to turn up the music as loud and for as long as they liked, whereas in Ryan’s flat they would need to be quiet after ten pm.

Eventually Ryan had given into Dallon’s plan, allowing Dallon to throw the birthday party for him. And so he ended up in the passenger seat of Dallon’s car, at the evening of his birthday, with you in the backseat, as he got picked up for his own party. Dallon was focusing on the street, some quiet music flowing from the speakers as the lights of the city passed by outside. He smiled as you leant forward, poking your head to the front between Dallon’s and Ryan’s seats, and pointed to one of the buildings that was coming closer, randomly dropping a fact about the building’s history.

Just a few minutes later Dallon pulled into the driveway of his home. Since it was already dark outside, you saw colourful lights skipping around inside, reminding you Dallon had spent almost the entire morning installing some party lights at the ceiling. A balloon was stuck to the front door.

In the house a lot of people already waited for Ryan to finally arrive. He was welcomed with cheers and hugs, and Awsten insisted all of you needed to sing “Happy Birthday”. After Dallon and Breezy had made sure everyone had drinks in their hands, and knew where the buffet was, people started spreading around the huge living room and the kitchen.

While you knew most of Ryan’s friends, you were not really close with any of them other than Dallon, Awsten and Josh. But as your luck wanted, they were all busy talking to someone already, so you snuck to your favourite armchair in the Weekes’ household, and sat down at the edge of the crowd, watching them.

You had never really minded being the one at the side lines. From the people in the room, you were one of the few who was not a musician or in a relationship with one. Sometimes meeting with all of them felt like stepping into an entirely different world. Occasionally it made you lonely, because you felt left out, but at the same time you knew you were basically Ryan’s best friend, and even if that did not allow you to be as close to him as you would have liked, it was still a huge honour. Even if it meant receiving phone calls from him at 2am, waking you up, in order to talk to you about music or whatever was on his mind.

You looked across the room, where Ryan was playfully boxing someone in the arm. His hair had grown longer over the past months, as long as it had not been in years. He had absolutely no right to look as soft as he did right now. Brown strands were falling in his face, and his eyes were squeezed together from smiling so hard. You absolutely loved seeing him this cheerful and carefree, so you allowed yourself to watch him a moment longer.

Across the room, Breezy’s and Dallon’s glance wandered from Ryan to you, and back.

“What if we just say we’re renovating the guest room,” Breezy asked quietly.

“Have them share the sofa?”

She nodded. “I mean, they are absolutely blind about each other’s feelings, but sleeping on the same couch should maybe get them somewhere, don’t you think?”

“Better than having one sleeping on the sofa, and the other in the guest room anyway,” Dallon agreed.

“Good, I’ll just quickly lock that room,” Breezy said, leant up to kiss Dallon’s cheek, and hurried off.

In the meantime Dallon was stuck watching how you turned away from observing Ryan, and instead scanned the room again. The second your eyes had left him, Ryan turned his head, and gazed over to where you were sitting. This was ridiculous. Everyone, literally everyone, knew that Ryan and you liked each other, and it was driving Dallon absolutely crazy that you both were too blind to realize it, or too scared to admit it.

A couple of hours later, music was blaring from the speakers in the living room. The couch and armchairs, as well as the couch table had been pushed to the side to make space for people to dance, an opportunity most were taking. The amazing birthday cake, which Breezy and you had spent all morning baking, had been eaten almost completely, and only two small pieces on a plate on the kitchen table were waiting to be eaten by some hungry party guests.

After you had pulled yourself together a couple of minutes after arriving, you had socialised a lot, and talked to almost everyone at the party. But now you had gone back to standing in a corner, watching our friends dancing through the room. Laughing you witnessed as Dallon swirled Breezy around before he dipped her, making he giggle. Some of the others were dancing in pairs as well, the rest jumping around on their own or in little groups.

“M’lady.” Surprised you turned to find Josh offering you his hand. “Care for a dance?”

Laughing you shook your head.

“I suck at dancing,” you answered, speaking loudly enough so he could hear you over the music.

“So do I,” he shrugged, still offering you his hand.

Smiling, you rolled your eyes and placed your right hand in the left hand he held out to you, allowing him to lead you a little further into the room. Turning to you, he grabbed your hand a little tighter, and placed the other on your waist, swaying a little to the beat, and striking up a conversation. Most of the time he was hard to understand over the loud music, but you caught enough of what he was saying to chat with him.

You remembered having danced with him before, at one or two other parties, and how it had always been so relaxed and fun. He was not holding you too tight, not standing too close, he did not spin you around so much as that you would get dizzy nor did he spin you so little as that it would get boring. In fact you had simply fun dancing with him.

But still you could not help but wonder what it would be like to dance with Ryan instead of Josh. You had never danced with Ryan before, at least not in the way Josh was dancing with you now; and you probably would not be so relaxed about it, always feeling like you were behaving clumsily.

Ryan in the meantime had been talking to some old band mates of his, but when they went to grab another drink, and he had turned around, his eyes searching the room for your face as always, and he had found you were not standing in the corner anymore. Confused he looked around before he spied you dancing, with Josh. You were smiling and laughing at something Josh had said, and Ryan could not help but feel a sting of jealousy in his chest as well as his stomach clenching together.

He knew Josh had no interest in you, not romantically. But what if you were interested in Josh? After all he was an amazing guy, who even asked you to dance. It annoyed Ryan that he had not been the one to ask for a dance with you first. He had thought about it, and then always pushed the thought aside, hoping he would find the courage later. And now you were dancing with someone else.

What if you started liking Josh? Maybe it was stupid to think you would fall in love with someone just because of a dance, but then again Ryan had realised he was in love with you because you had smelled on some rose bush while you were on your way walking home back from some gig, and had asked him to smell the roses too, holding the stem of the flower so he had it easier. For Ryan that had been the moment he had realised he was in love with you. Maybe he should have said it then and there on the spot, confessing his feelings with the sweet smell of these pink roses in his nose under the yellow light of some street lantern, a couple of blocks away from your home. But he had not.

Instead he knew that sometimes it were the little things that made people realise their feelings; so if dancing with Josh made you realise you had feelings for him? Ryan did not want you to have feelings for Josh, he wanted you to have feelings for him. Not that he could change much about it once it happened, but he felt annoyed anyway. If only he had asked for a dance with you first, but no, he had been too embarrassed.

Downing the last sip of his drink, Ryan decided it would probably be okay if he asked for a dance with you once the song after the next was over. But as if a higher power was desperate to make him stick to his unspoken promise, Josh let go of you by the end of the song that was playing, and even though Ryan could not understand what was being said, it looked like Josh wanted to fetch a drink as well.

Without much of his consent, Ryan’s feet started carrying him through the room and past several of his friends, while the next song started playing, and before he was fully aware what happened, he stood in front of you, holding out his hand.

“Would you like to dance?”

Ryan’s eyes were almost black in the dimly lit room, only the flickering, colourful spots of the party lights ghosted over his face. His expression was almost unreadable, but he seemed nervous.

“I-“ Surprised you stared up at him. Had you not just fantasised about this, about dancing with Ryan? Why were you hesitating? Smiling shyly, you nodded. “I’d like to.”

Uncertainly you placed your hand in his, noticing how warm his fingers were as they closed around yours. Slowly he pulled you closer to him, close enough so he could put his free hand on your waist, just like Josh had done earlier. Why did it suddenly feel like you had never danced with anyone before? Hesitantly you placed your hand on his upper arm, not daring to meet his eyes, and allowed him to guide you into a swaying motion.

Damnit, you had been right earlier when you had thought about how you would be far too nervous while dancing with Ryan to enjoy anything. Luckily Ryan seemed too focused on himself, careful not to step on your feet or bump you into anyone, to notice your slightly-off behaviour.

When the song ended Ryan made no attempt to let go of you hand, which caused butterflies to flutter in your stomach.

Luckily, both Ryan and you started relaxing over the next few songs, while he made sure never to let go of your hand. He had pulled you a little closer now, his one hand on the small of your back, the other gently holding yours, as he danced with you, spinning you out occasionally, when it fit the spirit of the song, making both of you laugh in the process.

And when the next slow song came on, he stepped even closer, so close in fact that his chest was pressed against yours now. He snuck his arm around your waist, and when you shyly gazed up at him in a mixture of surprise and adoration, you found he was already looking at you. His expression was soft, and a smile pulled at his lips as he watched your features. A strand of his hair dangled into his eyes, and following an impulse, you reached up to brush it away.

Was he blushing? It was hard to tell in the dim light. He definitely smiled a little wider, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. It felt like you were losing yourself in them, every second you did not turn to look away felt like he was staring deeper and deeper into your soul, making your heart beat a little faster, and making you fall a little deeper in love with him. The world around you fell into the background, and everything but him stopped mattering. You would have done a lot to make this moment last forever.

But later, and you were not even sure how or when, you ended up sitting on the carpet in the living room. Most of the other guests were gone already, leaving only your hosts Dallon and Breezy with Awsten, Josh, Ryan and you behind. The flickering party light had been turned off, and instead two small lamps on the wall shed warm, yellow light into the room. The playlist had been switched from upbeat songs you could dance to, to calm piano music.

Someone had prepared a cocktail for you, a mojito with a little bit too much lime for your taste. The glass stood by your side on the carpet, while your hands combed through the soft, brown hair of the drummer whose head was resting in your lap now. How Ryan had ended up there? No idea. But he lazily held a glass with his favourite cocktail balanced on his chest. It was not his first cocktail, and you were pretty sure someone at some point had just handed him a new one without him asking for it, but it really did not matter. Not when you were sitting on the soft carpet in your friend’s living room, comfortably dizzy and slightly tipsy from the drinks you had had over the course of the evening, with the man you had admired and even loved for the past years resting in your lap.

Ryan’s head was turned to the centre of the circle of people, and he laughed quietly at something that had been said. It was pretty late at night already, you realised with a glance at the clock. Your eyes felt heavy and your brain like palp, which was not only due to the alcohol, but also to being tired.

For literally hours you sat on that carpet, talking to the others, and weaving your hands through Ryan’s hair, ignoring your heavy eyelids. Ryan only moved to take a sip from his cocktail every once in a while, and sometimes his eyes met yours, making him smile before he tore his gaze away again.

By the time both Josh and Awsten decided to go home, you felt stiff from sitting for so long, and laughing Ryan helped you up, pulling a little too hard, and causing you to bump into him. Quickly he wrapped his arms around you, and held you in place, nuzzling his nose into your hair while hugging you. When he pulled away, you found Dallon was waiting to talk to you.

“Ahm… we’re kinda renovating the guest room right now, so… I guess, you’ll have to share the sofa,” he explained, with a gesture towards the piece of furniture. “You don’t mind cuddling a little closer, do you?”

Even though you had been pleasantly sleepy before, suddenly you were wide awake. Share the sofa with Ryan? Not that you would mind, but never in a thousand years would Ryan agree on-

“I don’t mind,” he shrugged, still standing so close to you that you felt the movement of his shoulders, “what about you?”

Curiously he looked down to you, but you just quickly nodded your head, agreeing on the suggestion, while at the same time you wondered what the hell you were getting yourself into.

After Awsten and Josh had called cabs and left, Breezy carried a couple of pillows and a blanket down to the living room. Dallon had pulled out the cushions of the backrest, allowing more space on the sitting cushions for Ryan and you to sleep on. After you had quickly prepared the makeshift bed, Dallon and Breezy bid you good night, and went upstairs to their bed room, leaving Ryan and you alone.

Somehow you could not help but feel like you were more nervous about the whole situation than Ryan. He just grabbed the bag with his pyjama, and started taking off his shirt of. Quickly you turned away, feeling slightly embarrassed, as if you would have invaded his privacy, even though it had been him who had just started undressing.

Grabbing your own bag, you excused yourself to the bathroom, where you dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt for the night, and quickly brushed your teeth before returning to the living room, where Ryan had put on some sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt.

He was sitting on the edge of the sofa, a glass of water in hand, and looked up at you with an unreadable expression. The thought shot through your mind of how wonderful it would be, if you were to see him more often like this, comfortably dressed in a pyjama, waiting for you to come to bed. Little did you know he was thinking the exact same thing.

“I’ll go brush my teeth too,” he mumbled, and got up quickly, grabbing his tooth brush, and walked past you to the bathroom.

Looking around you noticed there were still some of the cocktail glasses standing around, so you carried them into the kitchen, placing them next to the sink. You felt weirdly sobered up already, and with a look to the clock you realised it was no surprise; it was almost 5am, and you had finished your last cocktail at around 3.

When you walked back to the living room, you tilted a window to let in some fresh air, and turned off all of the lamps that was still burning but one, leaving just enough light to find one’s way around the room.

A few moments later Ryan returned from the bathroom. A shy smile was on his lips, as he packed away his tooth brush again.

“Do you want to sleep against the backrest or at the edge,” he asked, while clipping his backpack shut.

“I don’t care, rather at the edge,” you decided, “if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” he smiled, and crawled on the sofa, scooting as close to the backrest as possible to make space for you.

Nervously you noticed that even like this there was not much room, especially not if you were trying not to invade his personal bubble. Actually this would be impossible, you realised.

Deciding to ignore that problem, you laid down next to him, allowing him to pull the blanket Breezy had brought, over the two of you.

“Do you have enough blanket,” he wondered, tucking around at the fabric, trying to make sure you were comfortably covered.

“I have plenty,” you reassured him, pulling it a little bit around your arm to demonstrate. “You too?”

“Yeah,” he hummed, “can I turn of the light?” He turned his head just enough to be able to look at you from the corner of his eyes.

“Sure,” you agreed, nodding and cuddling a little deeper into the pillow.

With a click the lights turned off, and you were engulfed by darkness. Now that you could not see anymore, your other senses appeared heightened. Outside the window a cricket was chirping, the fridge was humming in the kitchen, and Ryan was breathing right by your side. The pillow and the blanket smelled of an unfamiliar laundry detergent, and the fabric was a little ridged, probably from drying outside in the sun. For a while you lay in the dark, eyes open. Through the room you noticed the small red light of the turned off TV. You knew you should try to catch some sleep, but with Ryan so close next to you, you were far too distracted.

All of a sudden when you had almost been sure Ryan would have fallen asleep by now, he spoke up.

“(y/n)?”

You hummed quietly, signalling him you were awake.

For a moment there was silence, before he continued.

“I know this is a weird moment, and maybe really unfitting, but I’m tired enough and maybe still tipsy enough to have the courage to say this, but I really, really like you.”

Your eyes grew wider in surprise, not that it would have allowed you to see any more in the dark room, and Ryan could not see your reaction either. Your heart started hammering, and your breath grew quicker, as you turned your head to the side, trying to see Ryan’s face through the dark. He was lying on his back, facing up to the ceiling. A tiny reflection gave away that his eyes were open.

“Actually,” he stopped, “no, scrap that. Fuck, I’ve been in love with you for so long and I’m just scared to tell you how I feel, and too awkward to show you subtly, and definitely not the type who could sweep you off your feet with his charms, but… I just figured we had a lot of fun tonight, dancing and talking and… it all meant so much to me. Like… I know Josh danced with you first, because I was too much of a coward, and I’m really glad you two get along, but I kinda don’t want you to like him more than as just a friend, because I like you more than as just a friend, and I know that just because I want it, doesn’t change anything if you don’t feel the same way for me but… yeah, I know it’s awkward and weird, because you’re actually my best friend, and it’s kind of a real asshole move of me to tell you this while we’re supposed to sleep next to each other when you’ve got nowhere to go but… you know? Before my courage leaves me and all.”

You listened to him, allowed him to spill all his thoughts. It felt weirdly liberating to hear him talk about his emotions, so naïvely honest from lack of sleep. He was saying all the things you had dreamt of hearing him say for so long, and you could not help but smile when he talked about Josh. You wanted him to know that it was okay that he had hesitated to ask you for a dance; wanted to assure him that just because he told you in this weird situation of lying next to you in the dark, you were not mad with him; wanted to laugh at him because of course you did not like Josh more than you liked him; wanted to let him know that you could understand why he had never mentioned anything before. After all, neither had you. But you were too overwhelmed by his confession. This was something you definitely had not seen coming at all, so you were left entirely speechless.

Once you had finally processed his words, you turned to lie on your side. He was still staring up to the ceiling, and flinched in surprise as he felt your soft hand brush against his cheek. Slowly he turned his head to look at you.

“So what do you think,” he wondered, as if asking for your opinion on his feelings.

In the little light it was hard to make out his face, but the way you knew him, you supposed he was furrowing his brows a little.

“Can you kiss me?”

Your words were so quiet that you were not sure if you had even spoken them, not to mention whether Ryan had heard them, especially because for a few seconds he did not move.

When he did, he pushed himself up, supporting his weight on his elbow, and looked at you confused.

“What,” he asked weakly, his expression hidden in the dark.

“Just thought it would make sense, you know, if you like me and I like you…” you explained quietly, suddenly feeling almost ashamed for your boldness.

“No. No, no, no, (y/n), you- you don’t understand,” Ryan protested. “I don’t just like you, I… I’ve been thinking about you every night before falling asleep for… years, probably, I lost count. I don’t just like you. I love you. I love you as my best friend, and I love you as so much more than that. And I don’t want you to just kiss me because you like me, because I’m your friend. I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings, but I don’t think I can, or want to, kiss you without you feeling this way too. I just wanted you to know how I –“

You silenced him with a finger to where you assumed his lips were, an apparently you had aimed correctly.

“I wouldn’t ask my best friend to kiss me if I wouldn’t have been in love with him for ages, don’t worry,” you defended, trying to see his reaction in the dark, but failing.

For a moment there was absolute silence, even the fridge seemed to have quieted down all of a sudden. And before you even realised what happened, Ryan had grabbed the wrist of your hand that was reaching up to his face, and had pinned it next to your head, while he leant down, and crashed his lips against yours, finding them even in the dark.

At first it seemed like all air was knocked out of your lungs before you remembered how to breathe again. You turned slightly so you were on your back, Ryan leaning over you, his fingers intertwining with yours from the hand he had grabbed, while he used the other to keep himself propped up over you. Your free hand had wrapped into his nape, weaving into the hair and holding him close. He tasted of toothpaste and orange liquor from the drink earlier, maybe even still a bit of alcohol, all of it strange and intoxicating and so much more than you could have ever imagined. His lips were a dry, but still soft, like the skin on his neck and the hair that wrapped around your fingers. Ryan’s breath was uneven, just like your own, and you could feel his heart beat against your chest in sync with yours.

His kisses were urgent and passionate, as if he could not believe what was happening, as if he had to take as much of the moment as possible should it turn out not to be real. And if you were quite honest, you too felt like you could not believe it. Soon enough he nibbled at your lower lip, asking you wordlessly to open your mouth for him. You complied, earning a quiet sigh from him as he kissed you deeper. Like a lightning the sound went through your body, and a feeling of pride and satisfaction settled in your chest, realising it was just because of you that he had made that little sound.

All too soon your mind was a dizzy mess, and no matter how addicting and intoxicating Ryan’s kisses were, you needed a break. Turning your head slightly, you broke the kiss, but instead of pulling away immediately, Ryan pressed a short kiss against your cheek and then against your jaw, before he brushed his nose against yours, and leant back a little, settling at your side. Since it was so dark, it was hard to make out the details of his face, but you could see the smile that spread over his features. It was the kind of smile he was not even aware he carried, making it all the more beautiful.

For a while you just looked at each other, your eyes finally growing a little more used to the darkness around you, allowing seeing more details; the crinkles around his eyes, the dimples on his cheeks, the hair that fell into his forehead. Slowly his eyes started falling closed, no matter how hard he tried to stay awake, blinking again and again, and you too felt overwhelming tiredness pull you towards sleep.

“Can we cuddle,” he asked suddenly, his eyes already closed. It was a strange question, because you were already snuggled into his side with his arm wrapped around you.

Not answering, you scooted as close as possible, and hugged him around his middle. Immediately, as if he had done it a thousand times already, and in his mind he probably had, he tightened his embrace around you, pulling you so close that your bodies were pressed against each other. His forehead was gently resting against yours, and as he pressed a short kiss to your lips again, you could feel how he smiled, causing you to smile a little brighter as well, before you shuffled around to lay more comfortably, and fell asleep in his arms.

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @recommendedattheprice  @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterflycore @starduststyx @angelevansfalls @vamp-void

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Baking - Ryan Seaman x Reader (Christmas Calendar 2020)

Prompt: Baking (How does baking sweets go? For or with someone?) - These drabbles are all inspired by @kairaiimagines​​​ Christmas Alphabeth

Warnings: awfully sweet

Word count: 658

A/N: uhh... idk if other countries have stollen too. For those who don’t know what it is: it’s yeast dough with candid lemon peel, raisins and lots of Christmas-y spices and in some cases (as in this story) the dough can be rolled out, marzipan can be added, and then rolled back together. Add icing sugar after baking and tada. Super yummy.

“Quit it!” Annoyed you swatted Ryan’s hand away, who giggled gleefully, skipping away from the kitchen counter you were working at. “If you keep stealing marzipan, there’ll be nothing left for the stollen!”

“Aww,” he grinned, and approached you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist, “you know I love marzipan.”

His hair tickled your neck. It had grown long these past months, and whenever your hands were not sticky from sugar and butter, you loved running them through his locks. You smiled as you felt him press his lips against the side of your neck.

“I do, and I also know that you love the marzipan stollen even more,” you shot back.

Ryan sighed and pulled away, leaning against the kitchen counter next to you.

“You’re cruel,” he whined, but at the same time you spotted his hand sneaking towards the bowl where you had prepared the raisins.

“Ryan,” you warned, unable to stop grinning.

“Just one?”

You rolled your eyes at him, and turned away from where you had weighted the right amounts of candid lemon peel and almonds. Grabbing the bag with the left over raisins you did not need for baking, you turned back to Ryan, who already extended his hands for them hopefully.

“One condition,” at the sound of your voice his dorky smile faltered a little, “you leave the rest of the ingredients alone. Or you won’t get any of the stollen this year and I’ll eat it all myself.”

Ryan’s eyes widened at the threat. He never quite knew when you were serious with these kinds of things. It intrigued him to no end, and made him love you even more, day by day. Was that even still possible at this point? Apparently.

“I promise,” he quickly nodded, and you had to hide your giggle at his seriousness.

You dropped the bag into his hands, and with a smile you watched him pull off the rubber band that closed the plastic bag, before he shoved his hand inside and pulled out a handful of the dried fruit. Putting the bag on the counter top, he picked a raisin between thumb and index finger, and brought it up to your lips. You smiled before opening your mouth, and letting him feed you the treat. He grinned and quickly kissed your lips, before you turned back to continue your work, now adding the different, missing ingredients, minus the marzipan, to the yeast dough, before rolling it out.

Ryan placed himself back against the kitchen counter and watched you work, later even helping rolling out the marzipan (you saw him steal a couple more pieces, but he did not have to know that), before you rolled the dough and the marzipan into the traditional stollen shape.

A couple of hours later, after the stollen had risen again, you had finally been able to put it into the oven, allowing yourself to settle on the sofa. The flat started smelling deliciously of baked yeast dough and Christmas.

Ryan had immediately cuddled into your side, the empty raisin bag discarded on the kitchen table. Since you had washed your hands, you ran them gently through Ryan’s hair, every now and then earning a content hum from him. He always got super affectionate around Christmas. Not that you minded, not in the least. You thought it was rather amusing, seeing your (usually rather independent) boyfriend turn into a little puppy, following you around everywhere. But you did not mind, not in winter, when it was cold and most of the time also dark outside, not when you felt like you needed someone by your side anyway. And even if that had not been the case, how could you say no to Ryan?

Tightening your embrace around him, you nuzzled your nose into his hair and inhaled his familiar smell. He smelled like safety, like home. Oh, you could not wait for Christmas to come this year.

General: @robinruns @starduststyx  @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrostyslibrary @butterflycore​ @vamp-void​ @angelevansfalls​

Picture Sources 1, 2

[robinrunsfiction]

Winter/Christmas Alphabet - U is for Undying Love

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Female Reader  Rating: General Requested By: None Word Count: ~1800 Author’s Note: Hooooooooly crap 😅 I had mentioned to @idontwannabetherightwayround​ yesterday afternoon around 4 PM that I was struggling with this prompt, but I got it sorted out and by like 10:30 I was almost 1800 words in. Sometimes it works like that!  Anyway, enjoy some friends to lovers fluff

It started on a snowy day.

(YN) and her family had moved in across the street from Ryan’s family at the end of summer. That fall they were in the same class, but he hadn’t ever talked to her, and it didn’t seem like she talked to anyone else either. Fall turned to winter, and with winter came a terrible snow storm that closed schools for the day.

“Ryan, why don’t you go outside and play,” his mom suggested, noticing he had been sitting in front of the TV most of the day.

“There’s no one to play with,” he mumbled.

“That girl across the street is building a snowman by herself, maybe she would like some help.”

Ryan looked out the window. He did want to play in the snow. A few minutes later, he was bundled up and trudging through the mounds of snow and across the street.

“Hi,” he said as he stood at the edge of her yard. “Can I make a snowman with you?”

“Sure,” she nodded. She seemed as shy as she did in school.

“Your name is (YN), right?”

“Yea,” she smiled.

“I’m Ryan.”

(YN) nodded and continued to roll the big ball of snow she was working on. “Can we use that one as his head?” She asked pointing to the ball Ryan was patting together.

“Sure,” he nodded, rolling it toward where (YN) was stacking the middle part.

“My mom gave me a carrot and some buttons to use as the face,” she said as they finished assembling the snowman.

“Do you wanna make a snow fort next?” Ryan asked once the snowman was finished.

(YN) smiled and nodded. “Yea!”

From that day on, Ryan and (YN) were practically inseparable. Nothing could come between them and no one ever questioned their unwavering friendship. They always had each other’s backs and they were certain nothing would ever change the platonic love they had.

Until it all changed.

~8 Years Later~

It was the night of their freshman winter formal and (YN), Ryan, and their friends had gone in a big group. He never really thought about whether or not (YN) was pretty, she was just his friend, he never thought about her in any way other than that. But that night, standing in the gym, decorated with streamers and under the glow of twinkle lights, he realized she was really, really pretty. He tried not to stare as he tried to work up the courage to ask her to dance. When a slow song finally came on, he looked over, and could feel his heart breaking as he saw their friend Jake asking her to dance.

After the dance was over, he and (YN) were standing out in front of the school, waiting for (YN)’s mom to pick them up. He wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure where to start. The silence hung between them was palpable.

“Jake had bad breath,” (YN) said suddenly. “It was so awkward.”

They both burst out laughing and just like that things were back to normal. Except they weren’t.

(YN) laid awake that night wondering why Ryan hadn’t asked her dance. She could have sworn he was looking at her. Maybe he thought she looked weird in her fancy dress and all that makeup on. Was there any chance in the world that he’d actually like her the way she liked him? Did he get that when she made that joke that she was trying to let him know that she didn’t like Jake?

She got up and looked out her window and wondered if Ryan was still awake, his room was dark. She climbed back into the bed and closed her eyes tight, willing herself to fall asleep, hoping for some kind of reprieve in her dreams.

~Three Years Later~

Years passed and (YN) and Ryan continued to pretend like everything was normal between them, even though they were both desperately in love with the other.

It was the last New Year’s before they were going to graduate high school, and their town had been hit with another terrible snow storm, cancelling all the parties and festivities that had been scheduled. (YN) called and invited Ryan over to hang out, since there was nothing else to do.

“Hey Ryan?” (YN) started, drawing up all her courage.

“Yea?” He asked, tearing his eyes from the movie on the TV in front of them in the dark basement.

“You know how… I mean, umm,” she squeezed her eyes shut until she felt his hand on top of hers. She opened her eyes.

“Go on,” he nodded.

“You know how you’re supposed to kiss someone at midnight? I, umm… do you wanna do that?”

Ryan looked stunned, and (YN) thought maybe his cheeks were even flushing red. “Umm, yea we can.”

“I just, you know I never kissed anyone before, right?” she asked looking down. She was equal parts embarrassed about the fact that no one had ever kissed her and that she was that she felt like she was conning him into giving her her first kiss.

“That’s ok, I mean, as long as you’re ok with it,” Ryan shrugged.

(YN) nodded and settled in again, trying to remain as calm as possible as the time ticked down to the moment she’d been waiting years for. She tried not to look at the watch on her wrist constantly in the dim glow of the TV. When she finally let herself look again it was 11:58 PM.

“It’s almost midnight,” she said softly.

Ryan paused the movie and turned so he was facing her as she watched the second hand move across the face of her watch. 

“Five, four, three, two, one. Happy new year,” she smiled up at Ryan.

He leaned across the space between them, his lips landing on hers, catching her off guard for a moment before she relaxed into the kiss. When they pulled back, they both laughed nervously.

“Happy new year,” he said, running his hand through his hair nervously.

(YN) nodded, trying to maintain her composure as Ryan restarted the movie.

Nothing more was said of that night, but it was not forgotten by either of them. Both of them replaying it over and over in their heads almost every day, certain that it would never happen again.

~Present Day~

It had been years since that night.

They graduated and (YN) went off to college. Ryan went to L.A. to try to get his start as a drummer. They kept in touch, not like they did when they lived across the street from each other growing up, but every time they talked, it was as if they hadn’t been apart for more than 10 minutes.

It was Christmas Eve when (YN) pulled up in front of her parent’s house. When she got out of her car, her heart started to flutter.

“Ryan!” She called to her friend shoveling the sidewalk in front of his parents home. 

He looked up and grinned, jogging across the road and wrapping (YN) in a big hug. “Oh my god, I missed you!”

“I missed you too, it’s been too damn long!” (YN) smiled, acutely aware of how his hands lingered on her waist for a moment longer than necessary. “Umm, did you hear I’m moving?” (YN) asked, kicking at the snow at her feet.

“Oh yea? Where to?”

“L.A.”

“Hey!” Ryan grinned, “we’re finally gonna be in the same city again!”

“I know! I’m excited, it’s been kind of a bummer that we’ve only been able to see each other sporadically for so many years.”

Ryan nodded. “Yea, I’ve missed seeing you like when we were kids.”

(YN) nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. Suddenly she felt like a teenager again with her crush on Ryan making it so she couldn’t quite look him in the eye for fear that he might see and somehow know. “Well I should head in, but I’ll talk to you soon.”

Ryan nodded. “It was good to see ya (YN).”

(YN) waved and went inside.

That night Ryan tossed and turned in his childhood bed that was just a bit too small for him now. But even if it was a king size mattress, he wouldn’t be sleeping. (YN) was moving to L.A. He lived in L.A. There was no reason, none at all why he couldn’t, why he shouldn’t tell her how he felt. It had been so many years. He tried to date other girls, but none of them made him feel the way (YN) did. 

He sat up and went to his window. Glancing out, (YN)’s house was dark except for one window. (YN)’s.

Quickly he got dressed and slipped out of the house as quietly as possible to keep from waking anyone else. When he got across the street, he gathered up snow in his hand and threw it at her window. A moment later, (YN)’s confused face appeared in the window until she looked down and started laughing. A few minutes later, the porchlight turned on and (YN) stepped outside.

“Ryan, what are you doing?” She laughed, wrapping her coat tightly around herself as he walked up the front steps.

“I’m sorry, I’ve lost too many nights of sleep over this, and I can’t wait any longer to say it. (YN), I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I’m certain on the day I die I’ll still be madly in love with you. I know this changes everything, but I just can’t go on acting like I just care about you as a friend when I spend every night thinking about you, imagining what our life together could be, if I could ever be that lucky.”

“You… you love me?” (YN) stammered.

“Yea,” Ryan replied, trying to remain calm, but he was shaking, his stomach was doing flips.

Tears started to run down (YN)’s cheek. “I, I just, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that. I love you too, Ryan! I’ve wanted to say that forever, but I was scared. The closest I came was that time I got you to kiss me on New Years,” she laughed lightly.

He stepped forward, his thumb wiping away her tears, cupping her cheek in his hand, and she leaned into the touch. “If you want, we could be together,” he said softly.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” she replied, looking up at him.

Ryan leaned in, his lips meeting hers as she wrapped her arms over his shoulders, and he pulled her against him. All the years of waiting, of pining, of almost moments had built to now and it was almost too much for them to bear. They pulled back breathlessly, his forehead resting against hers.

“I love you,” she whispered again. “Always have.”

“I love you too,” he replied. “Always will.”

[robinrunsfiction]

7. “If you pinch me one more time.” with Ryan Seaman maybe? Generally very fluffy. I'll be happy as long as you have fun with it, so go ahead and do what you like with it as well. Sorry for not being very specific. :)

Green

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Gender Neutral ReaderRating: GeneralRequested by: AnonWord Count: ~600Author’s Note: Enjoy a St. Patrick’s Day story! And a photo I took last year

You rolled over and curled up against your boyfriend Ryan. You had stayed over at his place the night before and the cool early spring morning was easily keeping you wrapped up in his warm blankets. You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face against his neck.

“Morning,” you heard him murmur.

“Not yet,” you replied.

He laughed sleepily. “Not morning yet?”

“Nope, still sleeping.”

“Ok then,” he replied and hugged you closer.

You lived for lazy mornings like this when you had no plans, nowhere to be, just being with your love. Eventually you started to wake up more and glanced up at Ryan.

“Morning,” he said again.

“Ok, fine, it’s morning,” you laughed. He leaned down and kissed you and you could feel him smiling against your lips. As he kissed you, you felt one of his hands that was wrapped around you, drift down to your butt. Suddenly his caress turned into him pinching your cheek.

“Hey!” You yelped, pulling away from him as he giggled devilishly.

“You’re not wearing green!” He grinned.

“What?”

“It’s St. Patrick’s Day!”

“Oh my god,” you muttered and rolled your eyes. It was true, you were only wearing blue underwear and a black t-shirt he had given you to wear the night before. “Wait what about you?” You asked, pulling back the blankets. He laughed heartily when you saw that he had on green shamrock printed boxers.

“Did you notice last night?”

“No!” You exclaimed, pulling the blanket back up. “Give me a green shirt to wear!”

“I don’t have any,” Ryan laughed.

“Wait, really?” You said sitting up and glancing at his closet. He had plenty of black shirts, floral button ups, but nothing with much green.

“I guess I’ll get to keep pinching you all day,” he grinned, sitting up.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You better not!”

“Or what?” He retorted cockily.

“I won’t make my famous chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.”

“Ok, fine,” he said, putting his hands up in defeat. 

“Thank you,” you smiled, leaning in to kiss him before climbing out of bed and heading to the kitchen. Soon you had the coffee brewing and batter mixed to start the pancakes.

“You sure make yourself at home,” you heard Ryan comment from the other end of the kitchen. You glanced up to see him leaning against the doorframe, a soft smile on his face.

“Yea, I guess so, sorry,” you laughed.

“No, I love it,” he said walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your middle and resting his chin on your shoulder as you stirred the pancake batter. “You should just move in here.”

You looked up at him. “Seriously?” You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.

“Yea,” he smiled back. “I love waking up with you, and making pancakes, and just being with you.”

“I love all those things too. Yea, I would love to move in,” you nodded. Ryan spun you around, and grabbed your face between his hands, kissing you excitedly.

“I love you (YN),” he murmured when he pulled back, his forehead resting against yours.

“I love you too, Ryan.”

“And maybe once you’ve got your things here, you’ll have something green to wear next St. Patrick’s day,” his soft smile turned mischievous.

“Ryan, if you pinch me one more time-” you couldn’t even finish your threat before he quickly pinched your butt again and hurried out of the kitchen, giggling the whole way as you rolled your eyes.

[robinrunsfiction]

1 & 158 with (drumroll, because you would never have guessed) Ryan Seaman please, whenever you feel like writing it ^-^

Somebody Else

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Female ReaderRating: GeneralRequested By: @x-whyareyoureadingthis-xWord Count: ~1,100Author’s Note: So my original idea with these prompts was something angsty. But I couldn’t get anything going, so I was going to do something more like a romantic comedy, but I couldn’t really get that going either. Driving in the rain, listening to Jimmy Eat World and this just kinda came together. And then I named it after a 1975 song instead lol I don’t know. ANYWAY, here have some angst (and a photo I took because I can’t find any others I like better)

You made your way through the venue until you found your spot on the edge crowd. It was the same spot you always took when you went to see him play. Your heart pounded in time with the beat that he commanded, not noticing you standing there on his side. Uncertainty was creeping over you, second guessing whether or not you should be there at all when the song ended and he glanced your way. The grin on his face faltered for a moment, confusion clouding it. You looked down, feeling like you might be sick as the next song began and someone tapped you on the shoulder.

“Are you (YN)?” The security guard asked and you nodded in response. “Ryan asked that you wait for him by the stage after the show.”

“I’ll be there.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even think. The security guard nodded back at you and returned to his post.

The concert went by in a flash, your thoughts only half collected as you waited anxiously for the fans to filter out. You drew shaky breath after shaky breath as the security guards watched you, wondering what was going to happen next.

“(YN),” you heard him say and you felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest.

“Hi Ryan,” you smiled shyly when you looked up at him. The look of confusion was still clear on his face.

“It’s been a while, I’m really surprised to see you here.”

You took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for just showing up out of the blue.”

He nodded. “How’ve you been?”

It felt like a punch to the gut that he could ask that so casually, like you were an acquaintance he happened to run into at the grocery store. Like there wasn’t history between you that ran deep through passionate sleepless nights, and days filled with laughter and love. You looked down at the floor, stained by years of spilled drinks and sweat. “Umm, that’s kinda why I’m here.”

When you finally looked back up at him, his confusion had melted into concern. “Yea?”

“Yea, umm, I decided to get some help. I realized that my fears were ruining every good thing I had going in my life. And I’m so sorry I had to put you through everything before I realized that. I miss you Ryan and you probably don’t care anymore, but I still love you.“

”(YN), I lo-“

“Ryan! There you are!” A cute blonde woman seemed to pop up out of nowhere and latched onto Ryan’s arm, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Who is this?”

“Just an old friend,” you replied before Ryan had a chance to respond. “I should get going, see ya around,” you said with a wave as you made your way out.

Once outside, every feeling you had bottled up hit you at once and a sob choked at your throat. You should have known he would move on. You should have known she would be cute and perfect and better than you in every single way. She probably didn’t pull away from him in the night the way you did, even though you didn’t understand why you were even doing it. She probably wouldn’t slip away without so much as a note because of the crushing fear of permanence weighing down. She probably was well-adjusted, she probably had a fulfilling career. She probably didn’t ever wander, lost in her own mind, looking for answers or something better because there was nothing better. She was everything Ryan deserved because she wasn’t you.

You weren’t sure how long it took you to regain your composure, but once you did, you started to make your way back to where your car was parked. ‘It’s better this way’ you repeated over and over in your mind.

“(YN) wait,” you heard Ryan call from behind you. You stopped and squeezed your eyes shut before turning around. Thunder rumbled low in the distance, reminding you how much you wanted to be anywhere but on this street, in this moment. “I never got to finish what I wanted to say.”

“You’re not in love with her, are you?” Again you were unable to stop the words from tumbling out of your mouth. 

“No (YN). She’s someone I thought maybe I could love, but I know I never could because she isn’t you.”

Ryan’s words reverberated through your mind. ‘She isn’t you.’ A cold rain began to fall as another rumble of thunder broke the silence. “Me? I hurt you and you deserve better! Someone who doesn’t need help to recognize the best things in life and not leave them.”

Ryan shook his head as he took a step toward you. “Because I know you (YN). You told me about your fears of permanence and feeling trapt, but I still pushed and I’m sorry,” he said taking your hands in his. “And I realized that if you were ever going to come back, I would have to let you run.”

You swallowed hard and looked from his hands holding yours, up to his eyes. “I don’t wanna be alone, I want to be us again,” you said softly. The vulnerability of the statement tore at you. He could so easily walk away right now and leave you there broken, the same way you left him.

“You’re not alone anymore. I’m here, I’m always gonna be here,“ he replied, wrapping you tightly in a hug as you buried your face against the leather of his jacket, breathing in his familiar scent. The cold rain began to make you shiver. "I love you (YN), so so much.”

“I love you too, Ryan,” you replied looking up and finally he was smiling again. 

He reached up and cupped your face between his large hands and kissed you. His lips moving against yours with a passion that you remembered, but it also felt renewed and charged by the longing by the months you had been away. You felt tears well up behind your closed eyelids as you pulled Ryan closer, trying to make up for every moment you had missed.

When you both finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours and the tears finally spilled down your cheeks, hidden by the rain that was falling even more steadily now.

“Do you wanna come home?” He asked softly. 

You nodded. “Yea, I missed it,” you whispered.

“I missed you (YN),” Ryan smiled before leaning in and kissing you again.

[robinrunsfiction]

Can you maybe do #46 with Ryan S. (P.S. I love your stories they’re amazing just like you)

I Got You

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Gender Neutral ReaderRating: GeneralRequested By: AnonWord Count: ~1,100Author’s Note: I really liked this prompt, thanks anon!

You sighed, looking up at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling above. You had no intentions on ending up in the hospital today, but that’s still where you found yourself now.

“(YN)? Are you okay?” Ryan asked, rushing into the room. 

“Been better,” you sighed, shifting to sit up.

“What happened?” He asked, looking you over. You were surprised by the level of concern that was written across his face.

“I was leaving my apartment, tripped and fell down the stairs. Something in my knee popped and I got kinda banged up, but luckily one of my neighbors heard and dropped me off here.”

“And they didn’t stick around?”

“If you have somewhere you need to be Ryan, by all means, feel free to leave and I’ll call an uber or something to drive me home,” you snapped.

“No, no,” he said, putting up his hands defensively. “It’s just what kind of friend doesn’t stick around in a time like this?”

“They aren’t a friend, they’re just my neighbor. They probably felt guilty because I saw them stick their head out of their door when I made all that noise.”

“Shit (YN), that sucks. Are they gonna discharge you soon?”

“No clue. I’m kinda feeling like they forgot about me. You wanna sit down?” You asked, patting the bed. “It’s not comfy, but it’s better than that chair probably.”

“Sure,” he smiled as you slid over to the best of your ability.

“What time is it?” 

Ryan pulled out his phone. “7:30. Where’s your phone?”

“Dead. I was actually going out to my car to grab my charger when this happened. I only had like 10% battery left and I pretty much used that up to text you and scroll through insta for like 5 minutes.”

“That’s what happens when you only have one charger,” he laughed lightly. He was always reminding you to get another charger because your phone was always going dead at inopportune moments. “Oh, this video is hilarious, I was gonna send it to you anyway,” he said as he settled in next to you.

Being that close to Ryan made you really glad you weren’t hooked up to any machines that read your heart rate, or the nurses would have come running in a panic. You’d always had feelings for your friend with the dark eyes and bright smile, but you kept them in check most of the time. At the moment, you were glad you hadn’t ever confessed your feelings, as that surely would have ruined your friendship, and you weren’t sure who else you could rely on to come get you from the hospital. Maybe it was the painkillers they gave you, but you decided you were feeling bold and rested your head against Ryan’s shoulder. To your surprise and delight, he then rested his head against yours as well. You glanced up as he glanced down at you and for a second you held your breath, thinking maybe, just maybe, he was going to lean in.

“Ok (YN), here is your discharge paperwork, and information for you to follow up with your primary care physician to check on how the ligaments are healing,” the doctor said as he walked into the room, tearing both you and Ryan’s attention away from each other. “We’ll get you some crutches, is this your ride home?”

“Yea,” you said, taking the paperwork from the physician.

“Ok, well you’ll want to pull the car around up front,” he said to Ryan, “and (YN), we’ll have a nurse wheel you down.”

After the doctor left, Ryan shifted to sit up. “Alright, let’s spring you from this jail,” Ryan smiled.

“Yea, about time,” you smiled back.

~

“Oh shit,” you said as Ryan pulled up in front of your apartment building. He had been so kind as to get dinner for both of you at your favorite drive-thru restaurant. Being alone with him was enough to get out of the bad mood your accident had caused, but one big obstacle was now standing between you and finally getting home and being able to relax.

“What?”

“I forgot about the stairs,” you said, running your hands over your face.

“I got you,” he replied as he got out of the car before hurrying to your side to help you out. You made your way inside on the crutches.

“Now what?” You asked, and before you knew it, Ryan was wrapping his arm around you, practically lifting you up the stairs as you hobbled your way up.

“I told you I got you,” he said softly.

“Thanks,” you mumbled when you got to your door.

“Of course,” he said, lingering with his hands on your waist. You broke the tension by finally letting yourself in and Ryan followed with your crutches in tow. 

“What a day,” you groaned as you landed on your couch, Ryan sitting down next to you.

“Yea,” Ryan said, running his hand through his hair. “Hey (YN), can we talk about something?”

Your heart started to race again. “Umm, yea, always.”

“When I said I got you, I mean it. You can call me whenever you need to because,” he paused and looked down at his hands. “I really care about you.”

“Oh, yea. I’m sure I’ll be ok, but I might need a ride-”

“(YN), I’m trying to tell you I love you,” Ryan blurted out.

You were stunned into silence. “Oh!” You finally stammered out.

“Sorry to dump that all on you and I understand you don’t feel-”

“No! No, I feel the same way!” You said interrupting Ryan.

“Really?” His face lighting up.

“Yea,” you grinned back. “I love you too.”

Ryan leaned in, this time you were sure of it, and you leaned in too. Ryan’s lips met yours as his hand cupped your cheek. You grabbed his shirt, wanting nothing more than to be close to him like when you were in the hospital bed together. When you pulled back you were both grinning like idiots.

“For a second there I was really worried you weren’t gonna understand the feelings I was trying to confess,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak dumbass,” you retorted with a wink. 

“Real mature, (YN). You’re lucky I love you,” he laughed.

“You’re right, I am lucky,” you smiled before leaning in for another kiss.

[robinrunsfiction]

Ryan Seaman Stories

Valentine’s Challenge 2019 - Blue Valentine (Ryan Seaman x Gender Neutral Reader)

Best Laid Plans (Ryan Seaman x Female Reader)

One Love (Ryan Seaman x Female Reader)

Looks Like We’re Gonna Be Stuck Here for a While (Ryan Seaman x Gender Neutral Reader drabble)

Hold My Hand So He Gets Jealous (Ryan Seaman x Gender Neutral Reader drabble)

Twelve Days of Christmas (And Winter) Stories 2019 - Day 9 (Ryan Seaman x Female Reader)

‘Cause Heaven Knows What You Do To Me (Ryan Seaman x Female Reader)

Valentine’s Special 2020 (Ryan Seaman x Female Reader)

Green (Ryan Seaman x Gender Neutral Reader)

Somebody Else (Ryan Seaman x Female Reader)

I Got You (Ryan Seaman x Gender Neutral Reader)

Winter/Christmas Alphabet 2020 - D (Ryan Seaman x Female Reader)

Winter/Christmas Alphabet 2020 - U (Ryan Seaman x Female Reader)

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

The Best Present - Ryan Seaman x Reader

Summary: The reader had a terrible Christmas Day in company of her family, but luckily her best friend Ryan drops by to save the day. Reader: female Word count: 4 549 A/N: My Christmas was not very good this year, and pretty close to how I’ve described it here, but instead of annoying relatives I have a bad cough now. So if the proof reading failed even harder than usually, it’s bc I’m sick.

“Fuck.”

Slamming the door to your room shut behind you, you leant your back against it, your head falling into your neck, and bumping a little bit too forcefully against the dark wood.

It was Christmas Day, usually a day of cheer and happiness all around, at least if you would believe all the TV movies, and the commercials, the shops, and your friends’ social media posts. But this year your reality was far from it.

You liked Christmas, always had, even though your family was not religious. For you it was less about religion than about the opportunity to meet with everyone, sit down over presents that acknowledged how much you appreciated each other, and have delicious food. It was a tradition, but not a religious one. And as childish as it sounded, you were always excited for the Christmas Days. Even as an adult you usually did not mind the stress it brought along. It was fun to think about what you wanted to get for who, you enjoyed writing Christmas cards, and you loved decorating and backing, and even had fun with helping your parents cook the Christmas Dinner.

But this year everything was different. You had gotten ill in the beginning of December, ruining the first week already, which left not as much time to do things like present shopping, and writing cards. Additionally to that your Christmas decoration had fallen victim to a flooded basement in spring, and since you did not want to spend all your savings on new decoration, there had been only very little of it in your flat this year.

Secretly you had hoped your mother might have found the time to do some baking, but that too had not happened, since your mother had gotten the flu, and had been sick for almost a month, now being just barely fine enough to not sleep the whole day. And that also explained the state of your parents’ house. Since your father did not care much for Christmas, and your mother had been very sick, there were only very few decorations here as well. The Christmas tree was the benjamin fig, a few plastic baubles, and a Christmas light trying to make it look at least a little festive.

All that would have been not all too upsetting. Also the fact that neither of your parents had made the effort to get you anything but money was okay to live with. Sure, you would have been happier about an ugly scarf, or some colourful socks, but you knew your parents had had enough trouble, and it had been easiest just to give the money to you so you could spend it on the stuff you liked. Not even the lack of festive food this year would have ruined anything for you, but all these things combined with the mood your parents were in, the constant bickering of your relatives, and the over the day increasing social anxiety finally managed to ruin this Christmas for you completely.

Of course it could have been worse; your parents telling you one of them had cancer, the house burning down, the relatives dying in a car crash- but just because it could have come worse did not mean you had no right to be upset. Up to a certain point you could understand why your mother was stressing about how the house was not freshly cleaned, and the shelves not dusted; your grandparents really were a pain in the ass when it came to cleaning. But she stressed herself so much that she almost started crying in the kitchen while the family had sat in the living room, having tea and not-Christmas-biscuits.

Your father was generally just annoyed with everyone and everything, and whenever you tried to help you did everything wrong, not to mention the debate about politics he started with your mother’s brother in law, which made you want to puke on the table.

And then there were your noisy grandparents, uncle, and aunt. They proudly told everyone about their kids, your grandparents letting you more or less directly know that they expected you to have kids soon too, until your aunt condescendingly stated that there had to be more than one reason that you were still single, and that it probably would not ever change.

While she was right about the reasons of you still being single, they were much different to what she was implying. For years you had been, in the beginning less, but recently more and more, in love with your best friend Ryan. And that was the first reason you were single. There was no way you were possibly ruining your friendship with him just to tell him what he meant to you. And the second reason was that, unlike your cousin, you did not throw yourself at people just to have sex with them, accidently get pregnant, and then having to marry out of social pressure.

So as soon as the whole “sitting together, pretending to be in a good mood”- situation was over, you had escaped to your old room under the roof.

Pressing your eyes closed, the only thing you could think about was how badly you wanted to talk to Ryan now. He was a drummer, the band, which he was currently a member in, on a steady rise to fame. Just the week before Christmas he had played shows away from home, so you had not gotten the opportunity to meet before Christmas, and you desperately missed him. Not only because it had been so long, but also because right now he was the only person who would be able to cheer you up.

Getting up from the floor, you walked over to your bed, where your mobile phone was charging. There had been a strict no-mobile-policy at the table today, not that your uncle had cared much about that, so you had left your mobile in your room. The second before your pressed the button to turn on the screen, you found yourself hoping that there would be at least a couple of messages from friends, but the only notification you had gotten was one of your co-worker’s Instagram, because she had posted a sickly sweet selfie of herself and her fiancé under the Christmas tree. Angrily you closed the app, and pulled up your phonebook.

You wanted to be happy too, you wanted to take sickly sweet selfies with your boyfriend, preferably Ryan, too, you wanted to go to Christmas markets with friends, wanted to put silly decorations up on your Christmas tree, wanted to have one of these picture book Christmas Days that everyone else pretended to have. Clenching your jaw, in order not to cry, you pressed Ryan’s name, patiently waiting for the lines to connect. There was some rustling on the other end, when he picked up.

“I can’t talk right now, I’m driving, I’ll call you back (y/n).”

And then he hung up.

Taking a deep breath, you sat down on your bed. You knew it was right that Ryan did not want to talk while driving; he had no hands-free-kit. But your best friend not being able to talk to you when you needed him so much, fit so perfectly into this stupid day.

Downstairs people were talking. Your mother and grandmothers had disappeared into the kitchen, and your dad had wanted to show your uncle the newest external hard discs he had acquired, so you had taken the opportunity to get a moment for yourself, but now they had seemed to notice that you were missing. Knowing your quiet seconds were running out, you took a deep breath, and tried to think of anything that was not Christmas, your family, or Ryan.

Outside a car drove up the street, and you wondered if their Christmas had been as shitty as yours. But then the car slowed down, and you realised that, while you only recognised the sound of a single car in this world, this car had just stopped outside your house. Quickly you got up, and ran to your window, just to be sure, but of course it was Ryan’s car, that had pulled to the side of the street, right in front of your garden.

Forgetting that just a moment ago you had been all sad and close to tears, you ran out of your room, and almost bumped into your mother, who was on her way up the stairs.

“There you are,” she noticed, out of breath from still not having recovered from her flu.

“Here I am,” you agreed, and slipped past her, but you were not quick enough to reach the ground floor before the doorbell rang. Your uncle opened up, and even from one floor above, you could feel his judging glare at your best friend.

“Hello?” Your uncle asked, and you sped up your steps even more, desperate to save Ryan from getting any weird comments thrown at him.

“Hi, merry Christmas!” Ryan’s voice was as cheerful as ever, as if he had not noticed the hostility in your uncle’s voice.

“Who are you,” you uncle asked, and you knew he was close to throwing the door shut again.

“Oh, I’m a friend of- (y/n)!”

Almost falling over your own feet you finally reached the hallway, and came to a stop next to your uncle.

“Ryan! What are you doing here,” you asked, out of breath from running across the whole house.

“I’m here to wish you a merry Christmas! I brought cookies.”

Grinning brightly, he held out a tin box for you.

“We already had tea,” you uncle stated, and already reached for the door to close it into Ryan’s face, but you were quicker.

“Thank you so much, please come in.”

Ryan grinned and handed you the box, before he took off his shoes, and stepped into the warm house.

What followed was a long introduction to your whole family, your uncle and aunt being terribly displeased as to why someone who was not family dared coming over on Christmas Day, your grandparents not really caring, and your mother being delighted to see Ryan again; she had always liked him.

Luckily none of your family members seemed too keen on the company of the band shirt, leather jacket, skinny ripped jeans wearing musician, so you soon excused yourself to your room.

While Ryan had been over at your parents’ house a couple of times, he had never been to your old room, so you were not surprised to find him looking around curiously. You walked over to your bed and turned on the fairy lights that were wrapped around the head board, and lit the candle that stood in the window. When you turned back to Ryan, he awkwardly stood in the middle of the room.

“Come on, take your jacket off, sit down,” you encouraged, and walked over to your bed, sitting down yourself, patting the spot next to you.

Ryan shrugged off his jacket, and crawled on the bed, sitting crossed legged next to you.

“This is comfy,” he laughed, running his fingers over your soft day blanket.

“Thanks,” you laughed, “That’s why I own it.”

“Oh really! I thought it was because you knew the colour would make such a perfect addition to my clothes today,” Ryan joked and pulled the edge of the blanked over his legs as if he was posing for a camera.

“Idiot,” you grinned, and gently hit his leg, making him laugh even more, before he let himself fall to his back, his head resting on your pillow, his dark hair spreading around his head like a little halo. He looked so beautiful like that, you caught yourself thinking, and you wished you would get to see that every day.

“So your Christmas-” Ryan turned his head to look at you, “seems to be going well?”

You groaned and lay down next to him.

“Absolutely fantastic, as you probably already could tell from my uncle welcoming you so warmly,” you mumbled.

“I already guessed that much when you said your whole family was coming over,” he admitted, “is that why you called?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t take it anymore. Down there I feel like I’m suffocating. It’s- it’s like I’m completely out of place. Everyone is so proud of my cousin for getting that promotion, and for getting married, and she’s gonna have a baby, and they were so cute at the wedding, and oh my god!” You mockingly imitated your aunt’s fake high pitched voice. “But that she only got pregnant because she doesn’t know what a fucking condom is, and that the father was some poor random guy in a club who thought he could have a one-night stand with some chick, and then got forced into marrying her by my family, that’s what nobody mentions.” Annoyed you huffed. “Instead they are being portrayed as if they were the absolute dream couple now, and I’m expected to be just as brilliant as them.”

You couldn’t help the ramble, but it felt good venting to someone. Of course Ryan had already known the whole story, but he also knew that since the wedding in autumn, your family, especially your grandparents, had started to ask stupid questions, and you were almost certain downstairs was a big debate going on about what kind of relationship you had with Ryan.

“But you’re not, you’re more brilliant,” Ryan nudged your shoulder gently, a soft smile on his lips as you turned your head to look at him.

“Ha, that’s nice,” you responded, and you were not sure if you were being sarcastic or sincere.

“No, but seriously, you’re doing great too, in your own way! Hey, have you even told them that you’re going to be our official photographer from next year on?”

You smiled too, remembering how the label had, admittedly with a little encouragement from Ryan, who had gently nudged them into the right direction, asked you if you were interested in being iDKHOW’s photographer, and had offered you a contract, which you had gladly taken. The main problem about mentioning something like that to your extended family already started with your job itself. To them photography was no real job, since “everybody can take pictures”. And then telling them you would travel around the country with a band would probably start a civil war in your parents’ living room.

“Not yet, I thought about telling my parents over the weekend,” you explained, “if I break the news while my uncle and my grandparents are still here, we’ll have to call the cops or something because they’ll start bashing each other’s heads in.”

Ryan nodded, and for a while you were laying on the bed quietly, both thinking about your own problems. Or rather, Ryan was thinking about your problems with your family, and you were thinking about Ryan.

“Oh wait,” suddenly he sat up again, “I got you something.”

Jumping off the bed, he walked over to the door where he had put up his jacket on a hanger. Remembering you also had gotten him a tiny Christmas present, you lay on your stomach to reach over to the bed side table, from which you pulled the small bag with his gift.

Quicker than you expected, he was back on the bed next to you, tickling your sides, making you laugh until you were out of breath.

When he finally let you go, you sat up; hair dishevelled, and face red from laughing so hard.

“Here.” Grinning you stretched out your hand, offering him the small, velvet bag.

“No, you first,” he insisted, handing you a small box.

It was black, made from thick paper, and had a golden embossing, displaying the name of a jeweller’s shop. Carefully you opened the box, and found a thin, silver necklace. The links were so tiny that you wondered how it was even possible to craft something so delicate. The pendant was equally small and fragile, but you immediately recognized the round shape as a cymbal from a drum set, even the black logo of the Meinl company was realistically carved into the silver.

“That’s like giving me a necklace that says ‘this person belongs to Ryan Seaman’,“ you laughed, knowing that Ryan only played with cymbals from the Meinl company.

Ryan just grinned and shrugged with a smile, as he watched your take out the necklace.

“What’s that date?”

You had turned around the pendant, and found a date edged into the back of it.

“That’s when we first met,” Ryan confessed, “at that concert, remember?”

Of course you remembered. A friend had asked you to accompany her to a concert, and you had agreed, even though you had not known the band, but you had taken the liberty to practice your photographing skills a little. After the show you had bumped into Ryan at the bar, and recognised him as the drummer. You probably would not have payed too much attention to him on stage had your friend not pointed out that he was just jumping in for the regular drummer who had gotten terribly ill. Somehow your friend had timed her comment exactly to a moment in which Ryan was playing especially passionately, and you had been unable to tear your eyes off of him for the rest of the show. When you and your friend recognised him, she insisted on talking to him, and that’s how you had gotten to know each other.

“Has it really been this long,” you wondered, running your fingertips over the date of several years ago.

“Crazy, right,” Ryan nodded, watching you as you marvelled at the jewellery.

“Can you help me?” Holding out the necklace to him, you turned around a little.

He scooted closer, and took it out of your hands.

“Can you pull your hair aside,” he asked quietly, and you did as he asked, before he opened the clasp, and carefully put the fragile necklace around your neck. Trying to close the clasp again he struggled slightly, and it took a moment. His fingers were warm as they slightly brushed against the skin of your nape, and the tiny touch sent a shiver down your spine.

“Done,” he eventually noted, “this clasp is seriously tiny.”

You smiled and turned back to him, your fingers automatically moving to the small pendant that was now resting on your pullover.

“Thank you so much, this is perfect,” you beamed.

“I’m glad you like it.”

For a long while you just looked at each other. It felt like you were getting lost in his dark brown eyes, a soft expression on his face as he took you in.

Suddenly there was a crash downstairs, followed by howling laughter, which tore you back into reality.

“Oh, I got you something too,” you finally remembered.

Once more you held out the small, velvet bag for Ryan to take, and this time he did.

Slowly he pulled open the two strings that had held the bag closed, and shook out a bracelet, made from cold shining steel. Between the links, exactly in the middle of the bracelet, was a plate, with an engraving.

“World’s Best Drummer,” Ryan read out loud, and laughed, “Seriously?”

“Well, I’m biased, but yeah,” you grinned, feeling yourself blush.

Honestly, you had debated for a long time whether you really should give Ryan the bracelet, but in the end it could either be funny or romantic, and as long as he would not explicitly ask, he would never know which of those two you had intended.

“This year is really drums centred, ey,” he joked, “help me?”

He held both his hand with the bracelet, and the other wrist out to you, so you scooted closer and took the metal out of his hand, and even though you had tried not to touch him, your fingertips brushed over his, the sensation shooting through your nervous system like a lightning bolt. The jewellery was heavy in your hand, and with skilled fingers you opened the clasp like Ryan had done with your necklace earlier.

He already held out his left hand for you, so you quickly wrapped the small chain around his wrist, and tried to close the clasp, but like him, you lost grip on the fine mechanics, and the one end of the bracelet slipped away. Nervously you looked at Ryan, but he was completely focused on your hands, watching how you tried to close the small carabiner hook. Quickly you focused back on the task, your fingers shaking slightly, which did not help. Finally, after almost half a dozen tries, you caught the eyelet, and were able to let go of the metal. Intending to pull back, you released an internal sigh, but suddenly, before you were able to move away too far, Ryan’s hands closed around yours, gently taking hold of them.

“Your hands are cold,” he noted, his voice barely above a whisper.

You just nodded. His hands were way bigger than yours, warm, and dry, steady, and somehow so familiar, even though he had never held your hands like this. A part of your mind was trying to panic, trying to make your heart race in your chest, trying to make you blush, but a bigger part suddenly felt very calm. Ryan’s presence alone always made you happier and calmer, and now that he was holding your hands, you felt completely at peace.

You knew he was watching your face, but you kept your eyes fixed on your hands, on the way his fingers wrapped around yours, and how he drew small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.

After a while you grew aware of how close you were actually sitting; both facing each other, crossed legged, so close that your knees bumped against each other, your hands hanging between your bodies while Ryan played with your fingers, which you still had not averted your gaze from. Over time both of you had lent in, so that your foreheads were almost resting against each other, but only almost.

Downstairs voices were laughing too loudly; probably your mother had pulled out the egg nog, hoping to dissolve the tension. But this time neither Ryan nor you cared. You just looked at how his long, elegant fingers were brushing over yours again and again, an invisible pattern to an inaudible rhythm.

Somehow it filled you with sadness, thinking that this might be the only time you would hold hands with Ryan, and as if he had heard your thoughts, he tightened his grip around your hands, making you look up at him.

His face was a lot closer than you had expected, so close that you could feel the warm air of every single of his exhales on your skin. Everything about Ryan seemed to be warm, warm and safe and soft and inviting. Even his eyes held warmth as they scanned your face. The crinkles he had when he was smiling were gone, but there was softness in his gaze that you had never seen like this before. His skin was even and smooth, except for the jaw and around his lips, where he was not cleanly shaven.

You wonder if you had ever seen him shaven cleanly. Probably not. Your eyes wandered over his lips, which looked so kissable right now, or rather: always. When your gaze had wandered back to his eyes, you found he had been watching you the whole time. Curiously he tilted his head, just a tiny bit, and a smile pulled on his lips. And there they were, the crinkles, immediately playing around his eyes again, making you smile just as softly. You held his gaze, the strange feeling of him being able to look into your soul overcoming you all of a sudden.

Slowly your smiles faded, the expression of both of your faces just as loving as before. For a moment Ryan’s eyes flickered down to your lips, but when he looked back at your eyes, and you did not move to pull away, he took the courage and leant in, gently pressing his lips to yours in a hesitant kiss.

Even though you had seen it coming, your breath hitched, and your heart skipped a beat. His lips were soft, chapped, but soft, and just as warm as you had always imagined. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you shivered slightly when he let go of one of your hands, placing it at the side of your face, carefully holding you in place. For a good while the kiss stayed shy, timid, but as if suddenly something had snapped in Ryan, he unfolded his knees, and pushed you over, so you were on your back, never breaking the kiss, and instead deepening it. Since he had let go of your hands now, using the second to hold himself up over you so you were not crushed by his weight, you finally had the opportunity to use your hands too, one of them immediately traveling to the back of his neck, pulling him in closer, while you gripped into his shirt with the other.

You had started to feel lightheaded a while ago, as if you were drifting away from the ground, and holding onto Ryan gave you the feeling to stay on the floor, until you realised your light-headedness originated in the lack of oxygen. But you could not care any less about that, not right now. Ryan was kissing you so desperately and so sweetly, that nothing else mattered. It was felt he was pouring all of the emotions he had ever felt about you into that kiss, wave after wave, not leaving a speck of doubt that he might not feel the same for you as you felt for him. Later you would learn that he had almost immediately fallen in love with you, from the first moment on, and that’s how he had remembered the date you had first met. But in that moment, in which he kissed you, that was just a distant suspicion, and did not matter, because your mind was too occupied trying to convey your own emotions as well as taking in all the feelings you were getting from him.

The peaceful moment was rudely interrupted by a heavy knock on the door, which made Ryan and you pull apart.

“(y/n), uncle and aunt are leaving, and they want you to say good bye,” you mother spoke through the door.

Quietly you sighed, and opened your eyes. Ryan’s face was closely hovering over yours, his cheeks pinks, his lips red and swollen, an annoyed but also slightly amused expression on his face.

“I’ll be down in a moment,” you answered your mother, loud enough for her to hear through the closed door.

When you heard her steps moving away from your room, you sighed again, this time a little louder.

“Merry Christmas,” you shook your head, clearly being sarcastic.

Ryan moved so you could sit up, and brushed a strand of hair out of your face, a grin plastered on his face as he felt you lean into his touch.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered softly, and kissed you again.

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @justawriterinprogress @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterfly-writes​ @angelevansfalls​ @rene-royale​ @500240​

[robinrunsfiction]

Ryan Seaman Valentine’s Special 2020

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: @x-whyareyoureadingthis-x​ Word Count: ~1,300 Author’s Note: Day two of my Valentine’s project.

Your eyes went wide as you walked into the bar. You didn't know how you had gone so long not knowing this place existed, because it was exactly the type of bar you loved. There was a band playing live music, but it wasn’t too loud so you could still carry on a conversation with your friends. The drinks were even reasonably priced.

You and your friends sat around a table and listened to the musicians jamming for a while. You couldn’t help but watch the guy who was on the drums. He played with such enthusiasm, his delighted grin was infectious. He must have felt you staring, as he glanced your way and you couldn’t help but blush when that smile was directed your way.

“(YN), earth to (YN)!” Your friend Leigh said elbowing your side to get your attention.

“Ow! What?”

“Are you gonna go play?”

“Play what?”

“Bass! Haven’t you been practicing?”

“That sounds awesome, go up there!” Your other friend Christine suggested.

“Nah I’m not good enough to jam with these guys, they seem like professionals!”

“That guy that was up there singing before was way off key, and that keyboard player really doesn’t know what they’re doing. They’re just having fun, go on!” Leigh argued.

You glanced over your shoulder and saw the bass guitar was sitting in its case as the band quieted down for a moment. Some of the other players got up, giving high fives and pats on the back to each other. That’s when you tossed back the rest of your drink and got up.

“Anyone mind?” You asked, gesturing toward the bass when you made your way over.

“Nope, go ahead!” The smiley drummer said and you picked up the instrument and slung the strap over your shoulder. 

“You ready, Ryan?” Another guy called from behind the keyboard.

“Hell yea, you ready… umm…”

“(YN),” you smiled, “and yea I think so.”

Ryan started playing, laying down a beat and you soon joined in, then the guy playing the keyboard. You couldn’t believe how well you were playing together, it was like you had been jamming together for ages.

When the song was done, you couldn’t help but start laughing with delight. “That was so good!” You exclaimed.

“Yea! New girl!” The guy who played keyboard exclaimed, rushing over to give you a high five.

“Thanks!” You laughed.

“You’re really good!” Ryan said with a grin. “If my band ever needs someone to fill in for our bass player, I might have to give you a call.”

You laughed again, slightly more nervous now. Was this cute guy trying to get your number? How were you supposed to react to that? You decided to try to play it cool. “I should have known you’re in a band, you guys are really good,” you replied nodding toward the other guy that had been playing the keyboard.

“Oh, Josh? He’s not in my band, he’s in a band, but not the one I’m in. Do you come here often?”

“First time actually, it was my friend’s idea,” you said nodding to the table of your friends who were grinning back at you.

“Well maybe I’ll see you around,” he smiled as he followed his friend back to their table. You waved and smiled back and headed to yours.

“That was awesome!” Leigh exclaimed.

“Seriously! And that guy was so cute!” Christine said bumping your arm with hers.

“Right? I think I might have to make this my regular hang out,” you grinned.

~

The following weeks you found yourself going back to that bar again and again. You loved that the bar had live music almost every night, and frequently had open mic nights where people would just jam together. Playing with other people, especially when Ryan and his friends were there was your favorite. 

It didn't escape your notice that as you started to go more regularly, Ryan started to show up more often as well. Each time you saw him, he came over to talk to you and you soon got to know each other pretty well. You had developed a crush on him pretty quickly, and while you hoped he was flirting with you, you couldn’t be exactly sure. As Valentine’s Day quickly approached, you hoped maybe he would ask you out, but as the date arrived, you found yourself arriving at the bar alone.

"Hey (YN)," you heard someone say as you stood at the bar waiting for your drink. You glanced over and found Ryan smiling down at you.

"Hey, good to see you!" You exclaimed as he wrapped you in a warm hug.

"I was hoping you'd be here tonight," he replied.

"Why's that?" You asked before taking a sip of your drink, your heart beginning to race.

"I'm, umm, leaving to go on tour for a couple weeks tomorrow and I didn't wanna go without, umm, seeing if you'd like to go out with me sometime?"

You almost choked on your drink. "Yea! I mean," you laughed realizing how overly enthusiastic you sounded. "Yea, that sounds cool. When were you thinking?"

Ryan was now grinning at your response. "Does it make me sound desperate if I say now? I mean it is Valentine’s Day."

You laughed and shook your head. "Not at all. Want me to grab a table?"

He nodded and ordered himself a drink as you made your way to a quiet corner of the bar. As he made his way over, you could feel the butterflies in your stomach. The best part of a surprise date was definitely not having a chance to overthink or worry too much beforehand, but now you were nervous. 

"So where are you guys stopping on your tour?" You asked when he settled into his seat on the other side of the small table. 

"All over! I'm excited to get out there and see the people who are enjoying what Dallon and I are doing."

"Well you guys are awesome, so you deserve all the attention," you smiled and you could have sworn you saw him blushing.

"Thanks," he laughed. Just then the band began to play. Ryan shifted his chair around so he could watch, and scooted closer to you. You glanced over at him and suddenly it was your turn to blush. You noticed Ryan shuffling nervously in his seat after a few minutes and you started to worry for a moment until he put his around your shoulders, which you happily settled in to.

The night went by far too quickly when Ryan sadly said he needed to get home to finish packing for the tour.

"Did you drive or need to call a ride?" Ryan asked when you got outside. 

"Actually I walked. I'm only a couple blocks away."

"Is that safe?" Ryan asked with a concerned tone.

"It's fine," you shrugged. "But you could always walk me if you have the time?"

"I'd love to," he smiled and took your hand as you lead the way down quiet streets.

"Thanks for the nice night," you smiled as you stopped under the streetlight in front of your building.

"I was just glad you were there tonight. I'd been trying to work up the courage to ask you out since the night we met and I didn't wanna miss my chance."

"Really?" You beamed and he nodded. "Well I'm really glad you did."

An anticipation hung in the air between you two as he reached up and cupped your cheek gently. You both leaned in until your lips met, softly at first, then more assuredly as you clutched at his leather jacket. 

When you pulled back, his eyes searched your face for any hint of regret, but found nothing but you blushing and smiling happily. "Can I call you when I'm on the road?"

"I really hope you do," you replied.

He nodded and smiled. "Night (YN)."

"Night Ryan," you replied before leaning up and planting another quick kiss on his lips and heading inside, leaving him under the streetlight in a delighted haze from your first Valentine’s together.

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Mutual - Ryan Seaman x Reader

Request: Ryan Seaman x reader where reader is in a band that Ryan really likes and one day they meet and romance ensues?? 💕 Word count: 1 890

Nervously Ryan took a look at his mobile. It was almost 9pm, the opening band had left the stage almost twenty minutes ago, and everything was set for the main band, the Midnight Demons, which he had come to see. Being a musician himself, he knew how much time was needed to get everything ready between bands, but now it had to be only a matter of minutes until the lights would dim, and the main band would enter the stage.

It did not matter how often he had seen that band play already, or that he was often performing on stages just like this one himself, he was excited and nervous, and when finally the lights turned off, and the music that had been playing stopped, he couldn’t help but get on his tiptoes to see better.

The venue was not big, maybe three or four hundred people, and he was well in the first quarter, at the right side of the room, with a perfect view to where you, the guitarist and singer of the band, would be standing. Part of him felt silly, like one of the overexcited teenage girls he met at his own shows. He had never minded them, but the difference between them was that they were about half his age, and he had always felt like it was somehow socially more acceptable for girls to be huge fans of bands.

But that did not change the way he felt about the Midnight Demons.

As far as he knew, they were a few years younger than him, but had been around for ages already. Their music was a mixture of polemic criticism of society and politics, honest face-to-face with everyday problems, and the occasional love ballad. They had drawn him in from the first moment on. And now, years later, he still made sure to catch every concert every time they were close by. Sadly it had almost been year now since he had last seen them play, due to touring himself, but now, that the lights dimmed he could not find it in himself to care about the missed opportunities over the year.

The first one to enter the stage was the drummer. Ryan had always admired his style, it being so very different from his own. The rhythm guitarist and lead singer followed, a young woman with long hair pulled into a messy tail. And then there were you. Your guitar hung around your shoulders as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You strode over to your mic, giving a shy smile to the audience, and plugged your guitar in, before quickly checking all the pedals. How dare you to still smile so shyly while walking on stage after what, ten, fifteen years? Ryan barely noticed the bassist and pianist go on stage as well, because he was watching you.

When he had gotten first into the Midnight Demons, he had only listened to the music, and for a long while he had had no idea what any of you looked like. But he had always loved the harmonies the backing vocals created in mixture with the lead vocals, and he was most definitely in love with the difficult riffs and runs you were playing. Only when he had gone to the very first concert, he had realised that you were not only exceptionally talented, but also incredibly beautiful, and ever since it had been hard for him to focus on anything else as long as you were around.

Soon he got lost in the music, only sometimes stopping to admire your skill when you were playing one of the difficult solos. When the lead singer asked everyone to take out their phone torches for the next song, a love ballade from the new album, he took the chance, and filmed part of the performance at the same time, wanting to have a little piece of recorded memory from the show.

All too soon the concert was over, and only now he noticed how exhausted he was. The set had been long, almost two hours, and from the jumping around, and singing along he was sweaty and thirsty.

After grabbing a drink from the bar, he sat down close to the merch table, waiting for the crowd to disperse so he could grab a shirt and a copy of the new album. Then he would take the bus home, and hopefully not have a muscle ache from jumping around so much, tomorrow.

Once he had finished his drink, most of the people had already left, and only a few still hung around the merch table, so he took the opportunity, and took a look at the different shirt designs. Once he had decided on one, he stepped up the table, almost bumping into a person who had tried to slide past him in just that moment.

“Sorry, sorry,” he quickly apologized, and his heart almost stopped when he recognized the person to be you.

Your hair was wet, and you wore different clothes than on stage. That, plus the smell of shampoo made him assume you had taken a quick shower backstage, and then decided to come out here. As far as he knew you had never done that before, and the rest of the band was nowhere in sight either.

“No problem, nothing happened,” you smiled at him, giving him yet another almost-heart-attack.

Gracefully you slipped behind the merch table, and looked at him expectantly.

“Already decided on what you want?”

It took Ryan a moment to understand that you were asking which article from merch he wanted to get, and he quickly stuttered his answer.

You nodded and turned around to search through the shirts, before eventually pulling out one with the design he had decided on.

“You’re lucky,” you grinned, presenting the shirt to him, letting him check if the print was alright, “this is the last one in your size. We held it back just for you.”

Damn, was he really blushing as hard as it felt like he was? How old was he again? Thirteen?

“And, could I also maybe have a CD, please,” he asked, making you gasp in mock-shock.

“You don’t have the CD already,” you asked wide eyes, but with a grin on your face, “that’s a scandal.”

“Yeah, I’m late; I know,” he admitted, nervously fumbling for his wallet.

“Better late than never, right?”

“I guess so, I mean, I did listen to the music online,” he admitted, making shake your head with a smile.

“That’s cool, thanks,” you answered, “uhm, the shirt and the CD… that makes 35dollars.”

Ryan handed you two twenty dollar notes, and you gave him back five, which almost made his heart sink again, because this meant your conversation was as good as over until he remembered he could ask for a picture. Again he felt like one of the teenage girls who came up to him after his shows with iDKHOW, but he pushed the feeling aside.

“Hey, even if this might be a bit weird, but do you think we could take a picture together?”

You grinned and nodded happily at his question, so he quickly pulled out his mobile while you made your way back around the table next to him. When he had started the camera, you put your arm around his back as if it was the most natural thing in the world, making his heart skip a beat, before he placed his arm around you in return. You were shorter than him, so he angled the camera downwards a little, and when he saw you lean into him, he could not help the fond grin on his face as he quickly snapped a couple of pictures, hoping that at least one of them would turn out not completely blurred.

“Thank you so much, the show was amazing,” he mumbled, when he pulled away again, making you laugh quietly.

“Thank you, I’m glad you had a good time, Ryan.”

Surprised he turned to look at you.

“How do you know my name,” he asked confused, making you laugh again.

“I may or may not be totally in love with iDKHOW,” you confessed, and for a moment he was not sure if it wasn’t your turn to blush now.

“Really,” he asked surprised, finally feeling like he regained some of his confidence.

“Yeah, I was at a couple of shows, I really enjoyed it,” you explained, making him smile embarrassedly.

“Why didn’t you say anything, we could have met up afterwards,” he asked, suddenly feeling like maybe you knew him better than he had originally assumed.

“Because I didn’t know you knew the Midnight Demons,” you asked back, “it only would have been super awkward if you had had no idea who I am.”

Ryan laughed and nodded.

“Yeah, right, you couldn’t have known.”

For a moment you looked at each other hesitantly, before you spoke up again.

“Sooo, I’m thinking… I still have some work to do here, but maybe… I don’t know. This is a stupid idea, forget it” you looked away, and this time Ryan was sure you were blushing.

“No, what were you about to say,” he inquired curiously.

“If you like we could go out for a drink? The rest of the band is already on their way home, but I really feel like staying out a little longer, what do you think?”

Surprised Ryan looked at you. Had you really just asked him out for drinks?

“Uhm, sure, I don’t mind waiting,” he finally stuttered out, making you smile.

“Great, I’ll try to hurry.”

Luckily there were only a couple of fans left, and even though you took the liberty to have a chat with each one of them, you did not take very long, but long enough for Ryan to realise what exactly had happened. You had really asked him to come out for a couple of drinks! He was about to go to a bar, or restaurant, or club, or whatever, with you, one of the people whose skill and character he had admired for years from afar, not to mention that you even knew who he was.

After you had said good bye to the last people, and the guy who had helped sell the merch, you strode over to find Ryan leaning against a wall next to the exit. He had a black leather jacket pulled over his shoulder, and you were wrapped in your own jacket as well, protecting you against the cold outside.

“Shall we,” you asked, and watched as he pushed himself off the wall.

He grinned shyly, and knowing it was directed at you personally made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Of course,” he held the door open for you, and together you stepped outside into the night.

“I was thinking we could go to this small pub close by,” you suggested, “it’s kinda cosy, not too loud, and the people mind their own business.”

You pulled a beanie out of your jacket pocket and over your head, Ryan watching closely with, as he was very well aware, an idiotically happy grin on his face.

“Sounds great, lead the way,” he agreed, and side by side you walked down the street into the night.

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @robinruns @justawriterinprogress @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterfly-writes @angelevansfalls @rene-royale @500240​

[robinrunsfiction]

'Cause Heaven Knows What You Do To Me

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: None Word Count: 4,100 Author’s Note: When I was going through prompts for the Twelve Days of Christmas Challenge, I found the prompt “No one should be alone on New Years Eve” and about that same time Ryan posted an insta story of a hotel room in Vegas that he was staying in before a show and that leads us to this story. I hope you like it and have a wonderful new year! (also I have to say I can’t get over how wonderful he looks in the mood board below ok bye)

“Hey (YN), I was wondering what you’re doing for New Years Eve?” Ryan asked when (YN) answered the phone.

“Nothing, why?” (YN) asked suspiciously.

“Wondering if you wanna come along to our show in Vegas. The room is being comped by the hotel because of the show, all you have to do is pack a bag,” Ryan offered.

“But it’s New Years Eve in Vegas, doesn’t that just sound… overwhelming?” (YN) sighed.

“We don’t have to go out, we can just hang out with Dal and Breezy. Come on (YN), what other plans do you have for New Years Eve?” Ryan asked.

“None,” (YN) grumbled.

“No one should be alone on New Year’s Eve, so it’s settled,” Ryan said and (YN) could have sworn she could hear his smile through the phone and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Fine, but promise me that we won’t get drunk and get married at a drive-thru chapel.”

“I promise, I won’t get you drunk enough to want to marry me,” Ryan laughed, but what (YN) didn’t realize was Ryan was running his hand over his face wearily as he paced his kitchen.

What Ryan didn’t know was (YN) had immediately regretted saying what she did and was cringing hard. “So I guess just send me the flight itinerary and stuff then?” she asked trying to change the subject.

“Yea, I’ll send that over and I’ll see you in a couple days.”

“Can’t wait,” (YN) smiled before saying goodbye. When she hung up, she rolled over on her couch and buried her face in a pillow and screamed. A paid trip to Vegas with the guy she’d been crushing on for years at New Years? She wasn’t entirely sure she could handle it. She and Ryan had always had a flirty kind of friendship. The little compliments they gave each other, touches on an arm, hand on the lower back in a crowd, attending events together because who else would they call? It seemed natural that he would ask her to come along on this trip, but that didn't make it any less intimidating. 

Anxiety over the trip built over the following days, but on the morning of December 31st, (YN) woke up feeling surprisingly calm. She had packed a few outfits that she would feel confident wearing, and run over every possible scenario of things that could happen on this trip, which ranged from the most likely series of events (seeing the show with Breezy, going out to eat after with everyone, then retiring back to the room with Ryan to separate beds after ringing in the New Year with a responsibly consumed drink), to the least likely (an absolutely debauched, booze fueled, all-night rager that definitely included a hot tub and lots of sexy times with Ryan in said hot tub). But every time that idea popped into her head, she shooed it away, it was too much and ridiculous. 

The flight to Vegas was short, but (YN) and Ryan had a ton of fun together as they always did. When they arrived at the hotel, (YN) was a little blown away, she’d been to Vegas before, but hadn’t stayed someplace this nice. Ryan went to the desk to check in, as (YN) wandered through the lobby. She glanced over at Ryan when she realized it was taking a while to check in. He ran his hand through his brown hair, and looked over at her.

“They only have a king bed room available,” Ryan said when (YN) came over.

“Oh, umm, I mean that’s ok with me,” (YN) replied, hoping it wasn’t noticeable that she was blushing.

“If you’re ok with it,” Ryan shrugged, trying to appear casual.

“Ok then, let’s get up there before you guys have to get to sound check,” (YN) smiled.

When they got up to the room, they were both blown away by how modern and cool the room was. (YN) managed to ignore the elephant in the room that was the king size bed, but then she spotted the hot tub in the bathroom and the steamy thoughts threatened to creep back into her mind.

“Oh shit,” she muttered shaking her head.

“Hmm?” Ryan asked.

“Nothing,” she smiled nervously. “I think I forgot something, but I'll manage. Did you see this view?” She asked walking up to the balcony doors.

Ryan came up next to her, standing a little closer than normal. “Yea the room is really nice. Well except for the bed thing.”

(YN) felt a pang of hurt go through her heart. “Yea,” she replied without looking up.

Ryan instantly knew he had said the wrong thing. He didn't mind the idea of sharing the bed with (YN), but he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable either. Just as he was about to open his mouth to clarify, his phone went off. It was the band's manager letting them know they had to head to soundcheck. 

In the meantime, (YN) met up with Breezy in the lobby and they decided to grab coffee and walk around before heading to the venue for the show.

"So when did you and Ryan finally start going out?" Breezy asked as they stepped out of the coffee shop. 

(YN) nearly choked on the iced coffee she was sipping. "What? No, we're just friends."

"Oh sorry, I just assumed since he brought you along and…" she trailed off.

"And?" (YN) pressed.

Breezy sighed. "You just seem to really be into each other."

It was (YN)'s turn to sigh. "Yea, but I don't think it's really something that's gonna happen. I mean, you'd think it woulda happened by now if it was gonna."

"Maybe the you guys just need a push, or to let the stars align, or just take advantage of being someplace new for a fresh perspective."

(YN) laughed. "You seem really invested in this."

"I just think I'm right and you guys just need to see what's in front of your faces" Breezy smiled knowingly.

~

(YN) and Breezy watched from the side of the stage as the band played their set with their usual gusto. IDKHow's set was in the middle of a day long musical festival with artists of all different genres. The concert was absolutely amazing, and the crowd was into the band, even though they weren't the biggest band performing, but to the four of them, the best part was the fact that their set was done by 7 PM.

(YN) loved watching Ryan play, the energy and enthusiasm he put into it was incredible and she could feel herself grinning the whole time. Ryan had spotted (YN) at the side of the stage and kept shooting smiles her way. He loved having her there and all he could think about as he played his heart out was that he wished she could be at every show.

“That was awesome, I swear you guys get better every time I see you play!” (YN) exclaimed when they came off stage.

“Thanks (YN),” Dallon beamed.

“We’re gonna go up and get ready while you guys get everything torn down and grab showers down here,” Breezy cut in before quickly whisking (YN) back upstairs. 

“Do you wanna bring your stuff over to our room and we can get ready together?” Breezy asked as they rode the elevator up.

“Sounds like fun,” (YN) replied as the doors opened on their floor.

A while later, Breezy and (YN) were putting on the final touches to their hair and makeup as Dallon returned.

“Ready for a night out- woah! Babe you look incredible!” He grinned when Breezy stepped out of the bathroom, she had changed into black leather leggings and a sparkly green top. He took her hand and spun her around before pulling her into a kiss.

“Thank you love, but you should see (YN), she went all out!” Breezy replied when she pulled back.

“I think it’s too much!” (YN) called from the bathroom. She was tugging at her outfit and checking her makeup closely in the mirror. She was worried she had picked too flashy of an outfit since she didn’t know where they were going.

“No it’s not, come on out,” Breezy reassured her. Just then there was a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Dallon said.

(YN) stepped out of the bathroom just as Dallon let Ryan into the room. When Ryan saw (YN) in her short black sequin covered dress and black tuxedo jacket he could have sworn his heart stopped. He always thought she was beautiful, and he had seen her dressed up before, but tonight she took his breath away like never before.

“Wow, (YN),” Ryan started, a dopey grin spreading across his face. “You look amazing.”

“Yea, you look fantastic,” Dallon commented as Breezy beamed.

“Thanks,” (YN) said with a light laugh. “Now can we get going? I’m starving.”

Dallon ushered the group out and down the hall toward the elevator. Ryan offered (YN) his arm and she grinned as she linked her arm in his as they hurried down the hall.

"Wait, where are we going?" (YN) asked as they got in the elevator and Dallon pressed the up arrow.

"We got reservations at the rooftop restaurant," Dallon grinned.

"Seriously?" Breezy grinned and Dallon shrugged smugly.

"They're going all out for you guys tonight!" (YN) said, astonished.

"I think it's the best we've ever been treated," Ryan laughed as the doors opened on the top floor.

The restaurant was cozy and dimly lit with decor that had a vintage feel, but was still modern and fresh. The group was taken to a plush booth in the corner of the bustling restaurant with Dallon and Breezy sliding in on one side, and (YN) and Ryan on the other. The conversation flowed easily between friends as drinks and dinner were ordered.

“What are we going to do after this? Dancing?” Breezy asked, looking from Dallon to Ryan and (YN). 

“Oooh yea,” (YN) grinned.

“Sure,” Ryan shrugged.

Dallon groaned at first, but a smile crept on his face. “I can’t say no to you,” he replied to his wife.

Everyone chuckled at Dallon concession as their food was brought out. (YN) wasn’t exactly sure when it happened, but at some point in the shuffle of plates being passed, she found her leg brush against Ryan’s under the table, and to her surprise he didn’t pull away from her. Emboldened, she also didn’t pull away from the hidden contact and even glanced over at him, giving him a sly smile that he returned, much to her delight.

~

At dinner, they got a recommendation from their waiter of a club that was a short walk from the hotel. When they arrived they were able to find a table and ordered another round of drinks and watched the crowd for a while.

When the DJ put on a new song, Breezy’s face lit up. “I love this song, let’s go dance!”

“I’ll go!” (YN) grinned, jumping up and peeling off her jacket before going out onto the dance floor.

“How’d we get so lucky?” Dallon asked, sitting back contentedly, long legs extending out in front of him.

“Hmm?” Ryan asked, his attention being pulled from (YN) on the dancefloor to his bandmate.

Dallon nodded toward the women. “How’d we get so lucky to get ladies like Breezy and (YN)?”

“But (YN) and I aren’t together,” Ryan said confused, feeling like he was starting to blush.

Dallon laughed. “Come on, you mean to tell me you don’t have feelings for (YN)?”

“Well yea, but-”

“Then make your move. She’s obviously into you too,” Dallon smiled.

Ryan ran his hand through his hair. “What if she’s not though and everything gets screwed up?”

“Ryan, I saw the way you two were looking at each other during the show. I know that look, it’s the same one Breezy gives me,” Dallon replied knowingly.

Ryan laughed and then sighed. “Yea, I mean… yea, I should, I know I should. It’s just… how do you know when it's the right time to take that chance?”

(YN) and Breezy were enjoying themselves on the dancefloor when a man approached them. “Hey ladies, how are we doing tonight?” He ogled.

Breezy simply held up her left hand, displaying her wedding ring in response. “Not interested.”

The guy turned to face (YN). “How ‘bout you Toots, you married too?”

(YN) laughed. “Well no, but-”

“Then come dance with me!”

“No thanks, I’m here with my friends.”

“Aw come on, just one song, it’s not like I’m asking you to come home with me.”

(YN) shook her head. “We just got here ok? Let us be for a while.”

The guy took a step forward, looming over (YN). She could hear Breezy saying her name, but she was frozen in place, suddenly intimidated by the stranger.

“Hey, is this guy bugging you?” (YN) heard the words and felt a protective arm wrap around her waist. She looked up at Ryan who was staring the guy down.

“Yea, like a lot,” (YN) replied.

“Leave them alone,” Ryan commanded and the guy threw his hands up in defeat before walking away.

“Thanks Ryan,” Breezy said with a weary smile. 

“Why can’t the creeps just leave us alone?” (YN) rolled her eyes as the group collectively relaxed now that the stranger was gone.

“Because you’re gorgeous,” Ryan said so easily that he didn’t realize what had rolled off his tongue until he saw the stunned and amused look that Breezy was giving him. 

(YN) laughed and covered her face with her hand to hide how much she was blushing. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “Anyway, I love this song, can we please dance now?”

“Yes please!” Breezy said as she started moving to the music.

Ryan turned to go back to the table where Dallon was sitting, but (YN) grabbed his wrist. “Stay,” she said.

A smile crept across his face as his hands found her waist again as she moved her hips to the beat of the music. They had been to concerts together before, and therefore had danced together, but everything about this night felt different. (YN) draped her arms over his shoulders as they moved together to the rhythm of the music. 

Neither was sure how many songs had played, only that they kept moving closer to each other. (YN) felt her heart pounding in her chest under Ryan's gaze as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck. She felt like if she leaned in right then, he would have met her halfway.

But suddenly Ryan looked up, something grabbing his attention. (YN) turned and saw what he spotted. Dallon had come out onto the dance floor as well, but instead of dancing, he was saying something to Breezy, whose face was concerned.

“Dallon’s not feeling well, he’s got a really bad headache and kinda wants to go,” Breezy told (YN).

“Oh damn. Yea it’s loud and I bet that’s making it worse, we can go,” (YN) agreed.

“I’m sorry to ruin the night,” Dallon said rubbing his forehead wearily as soon as the group was outside the club, the bass still booming as they headed back toward the hotel.

“It’s fine, we understand,” Ryan said sympathetically. As they walked down the sidewalk, bustling with people on their way to their New Years celebrations, Ryan tried to decide if he should try to take (YN)’s hand the way Dallon held Breezy’s. Bu before he had made a decision they were already approaching the hotel and he realized he had missed his chance.

~

(YN) kicked off her heels as soon as she got into the hotel room. "That was so much fun," she laughed sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'm so glad you convinced me to come with you."

"I'm really glad you agreed to come along," he smiled before taking a deep, nervous breath. "I just really love-"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, interrupting Ryan. (YN) sighed as he went to answer it. She wanted to know so badly what he was about to say. Did he love her? Did he love Vegas? Was he about to confess his love of something, or someone, else altogether?

Ryan came back pushing a cart with a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

"Woah, where did that come from?"

"The note says ‘Sorry to cut the party short! Dallon and Breezy’.”

"Wow! Do we wanna wait until midnight to pop it open?"

"Sure," Ryan nodded, setting the note back down. "Um (YN), I was gonna say before, I really love being here with you and seeing that guy trying to get with you at the club… I just can't let any more time go by," he said rubbing the back of his neck and squeezed his eyes shut. As (YN) listened, her heart started pounding and her head spun. "I'm sorry if this makes things weird, but I'm crazy about you (YN)," Ryan said finally with a shrug, opening his eyes.

"Seriously?"

He nodded and ran his hands over his face. "I'm so sorry if this ruins everything between us, I thought-"

Ryan's rambling was cut off by (YN) standing up and closing the distance between them. "Ryan, I've had a crush on you for… years, I was just never sure you would feel the same way."

"How could I not? You're beautiful, and smart, and funny," he trailed off as her grin grew across her face. In that moment Ryan decided he had waited long enough. His hands found her waist and pulled her the rest of the distance between them.

(YN) looked up at him, one hand resting on his arm, the other on his chest. "Kiss me," she breathed and that was all it took for his lips to crash against hers. She gripped at his shirt as if it were a lifeline with one hand, as other found its way to his brown hair.

His kiss was full of longing, of hours spent laying awake at night never fathoming that this moment could really happen. And in case it never happened again, he wanted to remember every moment of it. How her lips felt against his, how her waist felt under his hands, the sounds that escaped her lips as he moved down to kiss her neck.

Ryan pulled back as he reached up and brushed the jacket off her shoulders and (YN) let it fall to the ground at her feet. She pulled him back in as she took a step back toward the bed, and he followed, barely breaking contact with her lips as she crawled up the bed and he followed, undoing the top buttons of his shirt.

(YN) deepened the kiss by letting his tongue slip against hers. She ran a hand through his hair as his hand ghosted down her side to rest on her hip, his other arm holding him up. He then began to again trace kisses down her jaw, back to her neck until he found a spot that made her moan lightly as he kissed it, a sound he decided he would never grow tired of hearing.

(YN) hadn't had a proper make out in what felt like years, but this moment with Ryan was more than she could have ever hoped for. Any doubt that clouded her mind about his feelings for her vanished when his lips met hers, the longing and caring she felt from him was incredible. The way he kept his hands on her, as if she might slip away, tugged at her heart because she knew there was nowhere else she could possibly want to be. 

(YN) and Ryan were suddenly started by a loud bang outside the hotel room. They jumped apart as they looked at each other, confused.

"What was that?" Ryan asked breathlessly.

(YN) pushed the pillows away as she looked back at the bedside clock. "Fireworks, because it's midnight," she beamed.

"Oh yea," he laughed before leaning in to kiss her again. "Happy New Year (YN)."

"Happy New Year, Ryan. Do you want to open that bottle of champagne now?"

"Sure," he replied, getting up, and offering (YN) his hand to help her up.

"Do it off the balcony so you don't break anything in here," she laughed. They took a step out into the cold desert night and Ryan popped the cork off the bottle, launching it somewhere into the Sunset Strip. He poured each of them a glass before wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her close. (YN) let her head rest back against his shoulder and sighed contentedly as they watched the fireworks in the distance.

After they were done, Ryan pressed a kiss to the top of (YN)'s head as she yawned. "I'm suddenly realizing how tired I am. It's been kind of a long day."

"You're right, wanna go to bed?"

(YN) nodded sleepily as they went back inside. 

~

The next morning, (YN) woke up with her head on Ryan's chest. He had his arm wrapped around her, holding her close. When he noticed her starting to stir, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and she looked up at him with sleepy eyes.

"Morning beautiful," he murmured. 

"Morning," she mumbled and Ryan couldn't help but smile at how cute she was when she was still half asleep. "What time is it?"

"Just after nine," he replied looking at his phone.

"I guess I was tired," she said, hiding her face against the crook of his neck and she heard him laughing a little as well.

"Dallon and Breezy were wondering if we wanna get brunch with them before we gotta catch our flights."

"Yea, sounds good," (YN) replied as she stretched, squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them and looked back up at Ryan, he was looking back at her adoringly.

"What?" She giggled.

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am. It's like the stars finally aligned for us."

(YN) leaned in for a long, languid kiss. "This year is gonna be the best yet," she murmured. 

A couple hours later, Ryan and (YN) met up with Dallon and Breezy for brunch at another restaurant in the expansive hotel. Although no one dared to draw attention to it, the other couple was very excited to see Ryan and (YN) arriving hand in hand and quickly noticed the energy between them was different. The brunch was delightful, with everyone talking about their plans and hopes for the new year.

"Hey, I'm gonna run to the bathroom, (YN)?" Breezy asked.

"Oh sure, I'll come along," she smiled, getting up knowing exactly what she was in for.

"What happened?!" Breezy squealed as the door shut behind them.

"What do you mean?" (YN) replied coyly.

"You know what I mean," Breezy laughed. "You arrived holding hands and he's looking at you like you hung the moon, like more than normal."

"It was a really nice night," (YN) smiled and shrugged.

"Aww! I'm so happy for you two!" Breezy said while throwing her arms around her friend.

"I just hope this isn't just a vacation thing, ya know? Like when we get home, it's back to how we were before and it's like this never happened."

"I'm sure it won't be. He clearly adores you. I've been friends with him long enough to know."

After finishing their meals, everyone headed back to their rooms to finish packing. The reality that the whirlwind trip was almost over had finally hit and (YN) found herself feeling blue as doubts started to nag at her mind. She snapped shut her suitcase and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey Ryan," (YN) started.

"Yea?"

"This isn't like just a 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas' thing, right?"

Ryan looked up from his suitcase and saw the sadness in her eyes and it made his heart break a little. He sat down next to her on the bed, taking her hands and looking in her eyes. "No (YN), I'm all in for this, for us, if you are?"

"Yea,” she nodded. “I don't want this to end here. I've waited too long to throw it away now."

He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, smiling and caressing her cheek lovingly when they pulled back. "Come on, we got a flight to catch."

"Back to reality," she groaned dramatically.

"We'll have to come back here sometime when we have more time. Maybe actually use the hot tub," Ryan suggested and (YN) couldn't help but grin.

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

His Smile Will Keep You Safe - Chapter Thirteen

Warnings: angst, anxiety, harassment, violence, alcohol

Word Count: 3 340

A/N: Please don’t kill me (yet) (wait until the Octorber 26th, 8pm GMT)

The last concert of tour was about to kick off.

The atmosphere was buzzing with excitement and happiness, and Ryan even smiled at you a couple of times, giving you hope that everything might just turn out fine in the end. Unluckily you did not get the chance to speak to either Ryan or Lars one on one, so by the time the show started, you still had no proof for your theory that it had been Lars who had told Ryan to stay away from you.

The “Three Beats” were playing louder, and harder, and better, and with more force and energy than ever before. While usually the opening bands always had problems igniting excitement in the crowd, tonight it raged through the audience like a wildfire.

The enthusiasm was addicting, and you felt your heart vibrate not only in beat to the drums but also in sync to the band’s heart.

You were high on endorphins, and felt like you could take on the world.

When the band had finished playing, you ran to the merch stand, and sold merch to the excited fans. This night, the hype did not fade during the break; instead it got amplified with every passing minute, making it feel like the air was alive, and the venue vibrating in harmony with the universe.

The “Three Beats” had created an atmosphere you had never experienced before, simply by their relief and happiness to have their singer back, and if you were not mistaken, iDKHOW would only top this.

When they got on stage, the venue was shaking from the shouts and cheers of the crowd. Dallon was unable to keep his cool mask on, and instead beamed like the sun itself when he walked up.

But, unnoticed by most people, because they were solemnly focused on Dallon, Ryan was outshining the bassist by miles. His eyes were all squeezed together, so hard was he smiling, and even though it seemed impossible, it only increased when he spotted you by the side of the stage, snapping picture after picture of him.

You hurried to get the ones done which Lucas had requested, knowing that by now you had taken so many of Dallon, that for this last night it was acceptable to focus on Ryan. It felt like you had taken thousands of pictures of Ryan, his smile never faltering, his goofiness on stage worse than ever, and you felt like you were in trance, simply capturing the beauty of this man, doing what he loved, with so much passion that you felt like your heart would tear in two, just by watching him.

His eyes met yours again, and he let out a laugh, so free did he feel in that moment. You smiled at him, no, beamed, and you knew that he could tell, from your eyes alone, how much you had missed this interaction, this energy, this connection while he was playing, how much you loved this. And for the first time in two weeks it felt like he was playing only for you.

But when he looked up again, his eyes wandering over the crowd, his smile suddenly died down, and he almost forgot to drum for a second. None of the members of the audience seemed to notice his almost slip up, but you did, after having seen him play so many shows.

Why had he stopped smiling?

When he looked back towards you, he looked sad. You wanted him to smile again, wanted to see his face scrunching up because of how happy he was, but instead he looked away, and started head banging. You furrowed your brows, and felt your heart sink, before you turned to see what he had looked at before he had stopped smiling. The lighting console, where Lars was clicking around on his laptop.

Rage bubbled up in your chest, and the world around you stepped into the background as you fought yourself through the dancing fans, towards where the technician was working. Not hesitating for a second you climbed over the fence, around the rostrum, and poked your ex-boyfriend in the shoulder.

“Hey,” you shouted over the music.

He turned to you, a smug grin on his face.

“Hello there,” he winked, his hands already moving to your hips as if to pull you close.

“You!” Angrily you stabbed your finger against this chest, not caring that the impact with his sternum hurt like hell. “What the fuck did you tell Ryan?”

The grin on his face faltered when he picked up on your rage.

“The truth, that we are getting back together,” he shouted.

“The fuck? Didn’t I make it fucking clear that never, ever, ever, not even if we were the last to fucking people alive in this universe, I’d get back together with you?”

Slowly Lars got angry too.

“I’m fighting for you, isn’t that what women want?”

“No, it’s fucking not! Not if they told you they don’t want anything from you, and especially not when it involves telling lies, and trying to force the woman into something she explicitly said she doesn’t want!”

“You don’t know what you want,” Lars hollered, blood rising to his face, making him look like a tomato with a sunburn, “you should consider yourself lucky to have ever gotten a chance with me! I’m a thousand times better than you, and you show absolutely no gratitude for me wasting my time on a whore like you!”

“If you ever, ever think you know what I want, ever again, I suggest keeping it to your fucking self and letting me live my life the way I want! I’m done with your bullshit manipulations and you guilt tripping me! You’ve been an asshole for as long as I know you, and you’ll always be one, don’t think for a second I don’t know that by now! My only fault was not realizing this while we were still in college!”

“What did you call me?”

Lars took a threatening step towards you, but instead of intimidating you, it only made you angrier. You were done with this shit; you were done with him making you feel small. So instead of backing away, you stood up tall, feet planted hip wide on the ground, shoulders straightened, chin raised, and looking him directly into the eyes, never looking away or blinking. That he was still several inches taller than you did not matter.

“I called you an asshole, a fucking asshole, because that’s what you are. Now back down!”

For a few seconds he stared at you, and you could feel how he tried to win dominance over you, the way he had done back in college when you had been in an argument. But you were not scared of him, not anymore; you were pissed, and you would not let him get the satisfaction of seeing you falter.

To your relief he eventually averted his gaze, and for a second you thought it was over, but then he turned around, and pushed you forcefully into the rostrum, slamming down both hands at your sides.

Now you got scared.

But you were still too pissed to let it show, and before you even had time to react, Lars was grabbed by the back of his shirt, and got yanked backwards. Surprised you saw that a young man, more a boy than a man, had reached over the barriers, and pulled Lars away.

“Leave the lady alone, you hear me,” he shouted.

The moment he realized he had just attacked a grown man, was comically obvious, and for a split second fear flickered in his eyes, but he pushed it aside, staring at Lars the way you had mere seconds ago.

Quickly you climbed over the barrier, next to the boy, who was barely older than sixteen.

Lars was about to say something, but when he saw your challenging stare, he huffed and turned away.

“Are you alright,” the boy checked in on you, making you smile.

“Yes, I’m fine, thank you,” you nodded, “That was very brave of you, thank you.”

“Oh,” he blushed, “I didn’t even think about it.”

“I could tell,” you laughed, “thank you so much.”

You saw two girls next to the boy, who wore the same hand-made shirt as him, making you assume they were on the concert together.

“Take care of each other,” you told them, pointing between the lanky young man next to you and the girls, “okay?”

The girls smiled and nodded, one of them answering “We do!” causing the boy to blush even harder.

“Have fun,” you laughed, and turned back to the stage, now knowing what you had to do.

~*~

The energy kept vibrating through the venue even half an hour after Dallon and Ryan had left the stage. You had sold almost all of the merch, leaving only very few shirts in the boxes.

After the last people had bid their good byes, you helped packing up. Lars did not even dare looking at you, and you could not have cared less. Instead you laughed and joked around with Jay and Luis, while you rolled together miles and miles of cables, and stored them in the boxes, which they were transported in.

Ryan had not talked to you yet, and after the interruption after the photoshoot you had a feeling he would not be the first one to make the move anymore. But that was okay, you knew what had happened, why he acted the way he did. And if you could not catch him on his own, you would tell him in front of the others, that Lars had lied to him, that you were not interested in Lars, and that you would never be again.

When finally the venue was cleared and everything neatly stacked into the vans, Dallon and Ryan said good bye to the few dedicated fans, who had been waiting outside, before everyone climbed into the vans.

Lucas had announced that in order to celebrate the end of tour, you would go out to a bar, and everyone, still hyped up by the fantastic show, had cheered happily. After the vans had been parked at the hotel, and the luggage carried into the rooms, Lucas led the way to the bar he had chosen.

You were reminded of the beginning of tour, when everyone had gone out for dinner together. It felt like with this walk the whole journey came to a close.

Everyone was talking and laughing all the way, except for Ryan and you. The whole time you were searching for a good moment to pull him aside, but it was impossible, which only caused your nervousness to skyrocket. Suddenly the realization kicked in that in less than twenty-four hours you would be apart from him, and that if you had not managed to talk to him by then, everything was over. It made you anxious and scared, and made the fear of his reaction even worse.

By the time you reached the bar, you felt sick. None of the others seemed to notice. They were too engulfed by their happiness, which you envied them for.

The bar had a small list of dishes that could still be ordered, and you decided on a cheese sandwich with salad. You were sitting at a small table, the nine of you cramped together, knees bumping against knees, and feet kicking against shins underneath the table, but nobody cared, and laughed instead.

Slowly the relief the others were experiencing, seeped back into you mind, and you started to relax by the time the food arrived.

The sandwich had been fried, and was hot and crispy, the cheese a creamy, stick consistence, and the most delicious you had ever eaten. The others’ laughing infected you, and soon you were wiping away tears of laughter, momentarily having forgotten about the situation with Ryan, who sat two seats away from you, staring into his mobile.

You had just finished your salad, when Dallon, who sat between Ryan and you, tapped you knee. Curious you looked at him, and he nodded downwards, underneath the table. Following his eyes, you saw he had his phone in his hand, the screen displaying a post on the band’s Instagram page. He pushed the mobile into your hands, signalling to keep it low-key, before he continued his conversation with Luis.

Dallon’s phone as warm in your hands, which were cold from your nerves going all haywire. It took you a moment to recognize the first picture of the post Dallon had pulled up to show you. It was a picture of you, standing in a park, from what you remembered several weeks ago, pointing at a swan in the lake in front of you.

Confused you swiped to the second picture, and found that it was another one of you. It was a selfie Ryan and you had taken spontaneously about three weeks back, during a tour through the city. The next picture was you, having fallen asleep on your laptop, head placed on the table next to it, hair falling into your face. More pictures followed, some of which you had not even been aware that they had been taken, but if you were not mistaken, all of them had been shot by Ryan. Finally you noticed the description to the pictures.

“To the invisible ones, the ones behind the camera, whose face never gets captured. To our amazing photographer, (y/n) – RS”

The post had been made just a couple of minutes ago.

Wide eyed you looked over to Ryan, who seemed not to have noticed you, but Dallon did, and took his phone back.

“Everybody, I’d like to make an announcement,” Charlie suddenly spoke, gently hitting his fork against his glass. “I know that barely anybody knew about Luis and me being together,” from the corner of your eyes you saw Dallon staring at the two men wide eyed, then a smile broke out on his face, “and we wanted to keep it private, but we’re done with this now. I asked him to marry me, just after the show tonight, and well, I guess we’re engaged now.”

He grinned widely, but his voice was almost timid, as if he was scared of the team members’ judgement.

“He even had a fucking ring,” Luis cheered, holding out his hand to show of a ring you recognized from the display on the market, where you and Lisa had met Charlie.

You had already thought that the kiss the two had shared after Jay had been arrested did not look like a first kiss, and seeing the happiness in your two friends’ faces made your heart explode.

“Congratulations,” you cheered, and reached over the table to hug both of them the best you could.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Bill jumped in, “Charlie, YOU proposed? I always thought it would be Luis.”

“Of course it would be Charlie,” Jay disagreed, “you really don’t know your baby bro, do you?”

Jay and Bill seemed the only ones who had really known about the relationship.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Dallon got up as well hugging the two musicians, and Ryan followed him, “I wish both of you all the very best. You deserve it so much!”

“Yes, 100 percent agreeing with that,” Ryan nodded and patted Charlie’s back, “All the best!”

Even Lars stood up, and shook their hands in congratulation. Lucas was the only one who did not get up.

“I really didn’t see that coming,” he mumbled, “please tell me you’re not planning on marrying on tour; that would be so much paper work.”

Everyone laughed at his comment, and he smiled.

“Seriously guys, I’m happy you found someone to take care of you,” he grinned, “Let’s make a toast. Waiter, please bring us ten, no, nine glasses of champagne!”

“Eight, and one orange juice,” Luis corrected, and winked at Lucas, “still Muslim, still not drinking.”

When the champagne was served, the long, fragile glasses making you scared you would break them simply by looking at them, Lucas congratulated the happy couple again, speaking a toast to their happiness and health.

A tingling sensation at the side of your face made you turn your head, and your eyes met Ryan’s, who had been staring at you the whole time, but quickly looked away now.

After everything had calmed down again, Dallon got up.

“I need some fresh air, Ryan would you like to join me?”

The both men left the table, and stepped outside the door. Through the window you could see them standing on the side walk, and talking for a while.

You engaged back in the conversation, Jay telling how annoying it had been, having to rehearse with the other two, while they were flirting, but not having the courage to ask each other out.

“Oh I can think of two others like that,” Lucas laughed, and by the look of ice Lars was sending over the table, you guessed Lucas was referring to you and Ryan.

In that moment a hand got placed on your shoulder, and you spun around. Standing behind you was Dallon, bending down to talk into your ear.

“He’s waiting for me outside, go and talk some sense into him, I beg you,” he whispered, then he sat back down casually.

You were not certain if you had understood correctly, but when Dallon nodded towards the window encouragingly, through which you could see Ryan facing away from the bar, you got together the courage you had been building up all evening long, and got up.

The air outside was cool. By now it was end of September, and the weather started to turn from summer into autumn.

“That was quick,” Ryan giggled, a sound you missed so desperately, and turned to you, immediately stopping when he noticed that it wasn’t Dallon. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Can we talk?”

You pushed your hands into the pockets of your jeans, hoping to cover up how hard they were shaking.

Ryan looked over his shoulder into the restaurant, and shook his head.

“Don’t think that’s a good idea,” he mumbled, and was about to walk back inside, but you stepped into his way.

“He was, is, lying, you know, Lars,” you said, looking directly into Ryan’s face, but he avoided your eyes. “He told you I was just using you to win him back, didn’t he? He told you that I don’t like you, don’t- have any interest in you, didn’t he?”

Slowly Ryan tore his gaze away from the pavement, and looked at you for a second, trying to make sense of what you were saying. But then he shook his head slightly, more to himself than in reaction to what you had said, as if he knew what you were about to say, but did not want to believe it. Pressing his lips together firmly, he looked away again, making your heart break even more, but you decided that you had to continue talking anyway.

“I found out just that afternoon, but you wouldn’t talk to me,” you explained.

“So what are you saying,” Ryan asked, his voice almost a little shaky, and full of pain.

“I’m saying that I don’t like him, not anymore, haven’t in a long time,” you told him, “he’s a selfish prick-“ Ryan laughed at that quietly, “and even if he wasn’t, even if he’d be a perfect gentleman, he’d never even get close to how – to you.”

You wanted Ryan to look up at you, wanted him to tell you that he believed you, that he liked you too, that he had never doubted your affection for him, that he had always known that Lars had lied.

But he did not.

Instead he turned away from you, and ran his hands over his face. For a moment you thought he would turn back to you. Instead he started walking away, not even attempting to look over his shoulder.

[robinrunsfiction]

Twelve Days of Christmas Challenge Day 9 - Ryan Seaman

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: None Word Count: 1,250 Author’s Note: Other than the creepy santa music box I got at my work white elephant last week, I’ve never gotten a good white elephant/secret santa gift and so I channeled my frustrations into this story 😅 shout out to @mariawritesfanfic for finding the gift described in the story and pictured in the mood board.

You smiled as you hurried through the snow up to your friend Jennifer’s door, brightly wrapped gift in hand. Your group of friends had decided to do a secret santa gift exchange this year, and you luckily had drawn Ryan’s name. You and Ryan had been going out for a while, and you really liked him, but you hadn’t ever discussed if you were officially in a relationship. Regardless, you had found the perfect gift for Ryan and you were excited to give it to him. When you got inside you put the present under the tree and  found Dallon, Breezy and Ryan were already there. After greeting them and grabbing some refreshments, the hostess announced it was time to get started with the gift opening.

“Ok! So let’s get started with,” Jennifer paused and made a face of concern, “this one which is… uniquely wrapped and appears to be for (YN)!”

You got up and took the present from her. She was right when she said it was uniquely wrapped, as it was a bright blue reusable shopping bag with the handles tied together with your name scrawled in sharpie in the corner. You hummed, taking a moment to examine the bag, noticing how light it felt. You untied the handles and inside was more tote bags and reusable shopping bags.

“Oh, it’s reusable shopping bags, thanks. I don’t have a dozen of these in my car already,” you said dryly. You dug around inside thinking it might be a joke and there was something better at the bottom. A gift card for Target or Starbucks or a $20 bill to hit the dollar limit that was set for the game, but there was nothing. 

“You’re welcome,” your friend Dave said from the corner, stifling his laughter.

“Do you need this Trader Joe’s receipt?” you asked, holding up the slip of paper you found between two of the bags.

“Yea, actually I do, my roommate owes me money for groceries,” he said, taking it from you.

You sighed and sunk into the couch between Breezy and Ryan. Ryan glanced over and put his arm around your shoulders comfortingly.

You tried not to pout too obviously as you watched your friends open their presents such as bottles of wine, records, candles, and goodies from Bath and Body Works. It really bothered you that Dave had either forgotten to get you anything and gathered the bags he had in his car, or he just didn’t give enough of a damn about you to pick up a real present, and you weren’t sure which made you more disappointed. But finally it was Ryan’s turn and you watched as the package you so carefully wrapped was handed to him.

He began inspecting it carefully before tearing into the paper. “Oh sweet,” he said turning over the book in his hands.

“What book is it?” Dallon asked from his spot on the floor by Breezy’s feet.

“It’s about the history of punk rock, it just came out like last week but I hadn’t gotten a chance to pick it up yet.” Then he paused, eyebrows knit together in thought before looking over at you. “Wait, did you get me this?”

You grinned and nodded. “I preordered it after you were talking about it that one time. The fact that I then drew your name for secret santa was just a bonus!”

Ryan grinned and pulled you into a hug. “Thank you,” he whispered as he pulled back. “I feel bad you got such a bad gift.”

You shrugged. “I’ve never taken part in a secret santa, white elephant, or yankee swap where I came away with anything half as good as what I brought. Actually I don’t know why I still agree to be a part of them,” you laughed darkly.

Ryan opened his mouth to reply, but Jennifer called attention back to the game and the last few presents to be handed out. You watched with jealousy as everyone admired their presents until the game was over and everyone went back to socializing, drinking and eating appetizers.

After a while of talking to Jennifer, you realized that Ryan was nowhere to be found. You had hoped to say goodbye to him before he left, maybe make plans to hang out soon, but you hadn’t gotten the chance so you decided that you may as well leave as well. You put on your coat and slipped out of the house without anyone noticing, but as you got to the end of the driveway you saw Ryan was coming back up the street from where he had parked.

“Leaving so soon?” He asked concerned, the cold air causing his breath to come out in clouds as he stopping under the streetlight.

“I thought you left so I figured why stick around? I’m not really in the mood to socialize anyway,” you shrugged.

Ryan chuckled. “I actually came out to get your present.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yea, I had it in my car. I didn’t know if I’d have a chance to give it to you tonight or not, but I felt bad that you got such a shitty gift, which I see you left behind,” he laughed when he saw you were empty handed.

“Oh, whoops,” you replied with a laugh, rolling your eyes.

“Well here,” he said holding out a small square package wrapped in red wrapping paper with snowflakes all over it and a red bow.

You grinned and pulled the bow off and stuck it to Ryan’s leather jacket, making him laugh lightly, but he seemed to be growing nervous. You pulled off the paper and stuffed it in your coat pocket and opened the small box. Inside was a gold necklace with a compass charm, then you noticed the writing below the necklace.

“I’d be lost without you,” you read aloud, before looking up at him.

“It's true. Even though things have been hectic lately, you’re always there to keep me going and centered,” Ryan replied softly. “(YN), I was hoping you would be my girlfriend?”

“Yes!” You grinned. Ryan returned the smile with one that reached all the way to his eyes. With your free hand, you reached up and let your fingers glance over his cheek before pulling him in to kiss you. All the frustration and disappointment you felt earlier in the night was washed away by Ryan’s thoughtful gesture. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Oh you crazy kids,” you heard Dallon say behind you, causing both you and Ryan to pull apart, startled, but Ryan kept his hands on your waist.. “I think you left your gift inside (YN). Dave clearly put a lot of thought into it, and you wouldn’t want to forget it and appear ungrateful,” Dallon said sarcastically.

“Hey, don’t call my girlfriend ungrateful,” Ryan said in a faux-serious tone that made you both laugh. 

“Oh, is that new?” Breezy asked from her spot tucked under Dallon’s arm.

“Yea, pretty new,” you grinned, glancing back at Ryan who was smiling down at you.

“You guys are so cute together,” Breezy commented as they made their way to their car. “Call us, we’ll go on a double date sometime soon!”

“Thanks, will do” you replied.

“Wanna go back to my place and watch a Christmas movie or something?” Ryan asked when the other couple was gone.

“That sounds like a great idea,” you replied with a smile as you turned to go.

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Prompts 3, 6, 10 & 15 with Ryan Seaman

Prompt 3: I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid

Prompt 6: I just like proving you wrong

Prompt 10: If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god!

Prompt 15: Well, you’re coming home with me, whether you like it or not

Warnings: alcohol

Word count: 2 800

A/N: I’m the author, I can request as many prompts in one story as I like, and none of you can do anything about it! (I’ve discovered power, quickly, someone take it away from me before I abuse it and write even more for HSWKYS) Also again, happy birthday to Ryan!

It was not even that you had much to drink, but you felt giggly and light headed anyway, which, in your opinion was mostly due to Ryan’s presence. Your mind always seemed to give up proper function as soon as the attractive drummer was around, but in the many years of your friendship he never seemed to have minded. Even now, that you were standing outside the bar, where you had met for a couple of drinks, or in your case, one, bidding your good byes to Dallon and Breezy, he seemed happy to have you around.

For the fifth time in the past ten minutes you pointed out the huge full moon that hung close over the roof tops, the pale light making the dark less scary, and giving everything a fairytale like atmosphere.

When finally Breezy tore herself away from the conversation she had been having with you, and followed Dallon towards the closest bus stop, you turned to Ryan.

“We should go somewhere and look at the stars,” you suggested, instinctively reaching for his hands, but quickly enough you remembered that friends did not do this, holding hands and looking at the stars at the same time. You were tipsy, not drunk.

“We should go home,” Ryan disagreed, but by the smile on his face you could tell he was not mad, rather amused.

“But I don’t want to go home yet,” you protested, even as Ryan slung his arm over your shoulder and led you down the street.

���Well, you’re coming home with me, whether you like it or not,” he decided.

“With you? I got my own home,” you reminded him, but secretly hoping he would insist on taking you home with him.

You loved his home. It was cosy and warm, and it smelled of Ryan, and you always felt safe there.

“Yeah, but mine is closer, and don’t you dare thinking I’m gonna let you walk home on your own in the state you’re in.”

“The state I’m in? Ryan, I’m not drunk,” you pulled away from him and looked up at his brown eyes.

Admittedly, the world was a little dizzy around you, but you were standing straight up, and your steps were not wonky in the slightest.

“Yeah, but still,” he laughed, pulling you back to his side, “We can look at the stars from my balcony.”

At that you did not reply anything, instead you turned your head back towards the sky. Even with the street lights making it harder to see details, you could tell that tonight was wonderfully clear, just perfect to look at the stars.

The walk to Ryan’s place was not long, and gave you enough time to sober up enough to get nervous about Ryan’s arm, which he had wrapped around your waist. He was warm, as always, the kind of warmth that could never be replaced by the heat of a hot bottle, a good shower, or even summer sunshine. It was the kind of warmth that made you want to cuddle into his side until you fell asleep, the kind that made you feel safe and protected, and you had to actively resist the instinct to lean into his touch more than you already were.

When you had finally reached the flat, after having made sure to be extra quiet in the stairwell because of the neighbors’ kids, you took of your shoes in front of the door, as you always did, and earned the same punitive stare of Ryan you always earned.

“You know you can walk in with shoes on, right,” he told you in the same patient voice he used every time.

“It’s a matter of respect,” you answered, in the same dutiful tone as you were used to answer his question with, which made him chuckle.

“As if you would respect me,” he giggled, holding the door open for you.

“Not you, the flat,” you told him with a wink, and slipped in.

These four sentences had been exchanged about a thousand times by now, and every time they made you laugh and feel happy. It was a ritual, the sarcastic bickering between the two of you, it was proof of how well you knew each other, how you would always know each other in this little way.

“Do you want to dress in your pyjama before we watch the stars?”

Ryan was already on his way into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate, while you were still trying to wiggle out of your hoodie.

“My pyjama?”

You tried to remember if you had left a pyjama at Ryan’s place. Usually these kind of projects, like right now, were spontaneous, and most of the time you just slept in your day clothes. Had you brought a pyjama over to Ryan’s at some point?

“Well, one of mine, I mean, can’t have you sleep in these jeans, can we?”

Stepping out of the kitchen, holding two mugs, he gestured to your trousers. Indeed they were not exactly very tight, but tight enough to make sleeping in them most likely uncomfortable.

“Oh, yeah, if I could borrow one,” you smiled, trying to control your heartbeat at the thought of Ryan allowing you to borrow one of his shirts.

“Yeah sure, they’re in the left drawer of the chest in the bedroom.”

He disappeared back into the kitchen, trusting you to find your way around the flat yourself.

You nodded to yourself, and walked past the living room and the door to the bathroom, when suddenly a thought came to your mind.

“Mind if I take a shower real quick,” you asked, having skipped back to the kitchen.

Ryan was already standing at the stove, nodding.

“Towels are in the bathroom under the sink,” he told you, turning his head to look at you.

A smile was plastered on his face, and for a moment he stopped his movement, as if he had suddenly gotten aware of something.

But you did not notice, instead you grinned back at him, and headed to the bedroom where you grabbed a shirt out of the drawer he had told you about, and made your way to the bathroom.

When you had walked past the door just minutes ago, you had realized how sticky you felt from all the sweating during the heat of the day. Even after you had taken a shower before going out, you had still felt the sweat coat your skin as soon as you had stepped outside the house, and even the air conditioned bar had been too warm. But if you really were to stay over at Ryan’s for tonight, you did not want to be all too sticky.

Quickly you jumped under the water, making sure to have it not to warm, after all you wanted to cool down a little. The smooth water felt nice, washing away the dust and sweat, and you even stole some of Ryan’s shower gel that was lying around. He surely would not mind, he had never minded before at least.

“Hey, did you drown in there? Cacao is ready!”

The knocks against the bathroom door tore you out of your little trance.

“Yeah, almost ready,” you quickly answered, turning off the water.

“If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!”

“I never used up the hot water,” you protested, but judging by Ryan’s distant laughter, he had only made a joke, and was already on the way back to the living room where a glass door led to the balcony.

Drying yourself off, you could not help but rethink his words, which had made it sound as if you lived together. And you always slept on the couch anyway. But something seemed different tonight, something was not as usual. He was more touchy tonight, joked around more, and it felt like coming home together to the same flat, was something you did every day. But more importantly: it felt like Ryan wanted it this way.

Once you were dressed in a pair of his shorts and a way oversized iDKHOW shirt, which reached until mid-thigh for you, you shook of these thoughts, and walked into the living room, and from there to the balcony.

Ryan seemed to have made an effort to make everything extra cosy out here. The small table and the chairs were pushed to the side, and a blanket was spread on the floor, against the wall were resting pillows, which usually belonged on the sofa, and more blankets were pushed to the side, if you should feel chilly in the quickly cooling night. The two mugs with hot chocolate were sitting on an empty, upside down plant pot by the railing.

“Sit down,” Ryan offered, and quickly went to turn off the lights in the flat so you could see more of the stars.

Still marvelling at his quick improvisation, you sat down on the blanket, and leant against the pillows by the wall, only slowly tearing your gaze away and towards the stars.

Seconds later Ryan was back by your side and flopped down unceremoniously closely next to you, very closely.

You tried ignoring it, like you always ignored it, and instead focused on looking up into the infinite black of the universe, and the millions of little, white dots in the vastness of space, that made up the milky-way, and everything else you could spot against the dark sky tonight.

“Here,” Ryan smiled, and handed you a warm mug, which you quickly engulfed with both hands.

Indeed while it had been still comfortably warm when you had left the bar, by now the air had cooled down considerably, and from the cold shower from earlier, your hands were still cool, so the warm porcelain was comforting, and so was the delicious smell of the hot chocolate.

For a while you sat in silence, sipping the warm beverage, relishing the smooth taste of the sweet liquid as it ran down your throats and warmed up your bellies. It felt as if the world had stopped for now, and everything that was not the sky, Ryan, or the balcony you were sitting on had faded into the background of unimportance.

Judging by Ryan’s quiet gasp, you assumed he had seen the short, but bright flash of light from the shooting star too, and when he spoke up, his voice was quiet and raspy.

“Make a wish!”

You smiled at this children’s game, but closed your eyes, and focused your thoughts for a moment.

“You too,” you encouraged.

“I wish-“

“You’re not allowed to tell,” you interrupted him, turning to look at the brown haired man with wide eyes, “or it won’t come true!”

“You don’t really believe that, do you,” he mused?

“But you believe in wishing on shooting stars?”

“Fair enough,” he agreed, and looked at you.

His gaze was soft, his lips curled into the faintest smile, and his brown eyes sparkled even in the dark.

For a while you looked at each other like that, and you did not even care that it might be weird to look at one of your closest friends like that. It did not matter, not right now, because he was looking at you the same way, and honestly, even though that had not been your wish, you really would not mind if it would never change.

“What did you wish for,” Ryan asked, his voice even quieter than before, but his gaze never left yours.

“Can’t tell,” you insisted just as quietly, ‘and especially not you’, you added in your mind.

Thoughtfully he hummed for a moment, and nodded, before he closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again determination sparkled in them. You were not sure what exactly would follow, but whatever it was, it made Ryan nervous. He had placed his cup aside ages ago, and now his fingers curled into a tight fist, his whole body tensed, and he bit his lip before he spoke again.

“Do you like me?”

The question was like a punch in the guts, and your head started spinning. What had given it away? How did he know? Would he ask you to leave if you told him the truth? Quickly you turned away from him, already feeling tears sting in your eyes. You wanted to get away from here, from him, as quickly as possible. This was by far the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to you. Forget the time you fell down a flight of stairs at school while your whole class watched, forget the time you bumped into your co-worker, emptied your cup of hot coffee over your shirt, and had to work in the coffee stained shirt for the rest of the day. This right here topped everything else.

“Hey, look at me.”

From the corner of your eye you saw Ryan reach out his hand, and moments later his fingers gently brusher over your chin before he carefully turned your head back to face him. Unable to be met with the expression in his eyes, you closed yours.

“How long?”

Instead of answering, you asked “Are you mad?”

Like you, he just replied with another question of his own.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

You shook your head.

“Can’t loose you over something stupid like this,” you mumbled, still not looking at him. “Couldn’t risk your friendship, you see. And I know you don’t like me anyway, so why try?”

The chuckle that sounded from Ryan’s lips eventually persuaded you to look up at him. His face was closer to yours than you had thought, his eyes squeezed together from how brightly he was smiling, and a strand of his hair dangled in front of his nose.

“You have no idea just how much I like proving you wrong,” he whispered.

And before your mind had even registered that he had lent in, his lips were on yours and he was kissing you softly, his hand still cupping your face where it had rested the whole time. At first you could not breath, yet at the same time if felt like you were breathing for the same time. Your lungs seemed to have forgotten how to work, while your mind was breaking free of all the restrictions you had put on yourself over the last years when it came to Ryan. Shaking, you lifted your one hand up to his neck, grazing gently his skin, and wrapped your fingers in his locks where they were long enough.

It was precious and warm, and when Ryan felt you respond, shyly, but with growing confidence, he smiled, and pulled you closer, as close as your bodies allowed him too.

It did not take long and both of you were out of breath, yours hitching in your throat every time he as much as looked at you, and you were painfully aware of the blush that was burning on your cheeks. But Ryan on the other hand could not stop smiling, not for even a split second, so you guessed you were even. Not that you had to care anyway, after all he liked you back, he liked you back. He did not mind that you liked him, he wanted you to like him, he wanted you close.

As if to prove your thoughts, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, and pulled you into his chest, placing his chin on top of your head, kissing your hair again and again.

“How did you know,” you eventually managed to ask. Your thoughts were still spinning, but this one question had moved to the very front of your mind.

“I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid,” he chuckled, kissing your hair again.

“Debatable,” you disagreed, and turned your head to look up at him.

Seeing his chance, he leant down and kissed you on the lips again, almost giving you a heart attack.

“Probably,” he mumbled, “I mean… in the end it were Dallon and Breezy who convinced me to give it a try.”

“That already sounds a lot more realistic,” you laughed, earning a judging glare from him.

For a while you sat cuddled against each other on the balcony. Ryan pulled one of the blankets over you to keep you warm, and together you looked at the stars.

“So what did you wish for,” he asked again suddenly.

Smiling to yourself, you nodded. It probably was okay to say after the wish had come true.

“This,” you answered, looking up at Ryan, seeing he was already looking at you too, “And you?”

He smiled softly, like he always seemed to do when he smiled at you.

“This.”