#so idk man. this is a ramble but god i do feel pretty good.

[eph3merall]

toxic!ex!matt + a sprinkle of mean!matt . . .

cw ; slapping

—

matt is a... nice person. you know this, he knows this. he doesn't get mad too easily, keeping his calm almost all the time when anyone ticks him off. at least, that's what you thought. it never occurred to you how toxic the man was, leaving him after finding girls' contacts on his phone and some of the toxic shit he's done.

but, it always confused you how matt never seemed to care when you officially announced to him you two were done. it was like he just didn't care at all, after it took you so long to muster up the courage to even confront him about it. matt was shrugging and chewing on the toothpick in his mouth, as you huff in frustration and throw a few more curses in his direction.

you eventually got all your stuff and ended up crashing at your friends' house for a little. she was happy to have you anyways, not having seen eachother in awhile as you talked to her for hours about everything. in the end, she wasn't surprised that matt was a douche bag. maybe you aren't exactly surprised either—but he was a good boyfriend... kind of. but, if everything else wasn't good with him, the sex definitely was.

maybe it's why you find yourself outside matt's door. you're upset. pissed off and annoyed. matt always knew how to calm that storm down, and maybe you just needed him without realizing. your first instinct was to just go to him, yet you weren't even sure why. he was an asshole in the relationship.

when you find yourself in his room, matt is rolling his eyes when you start rambling on and on about whatever the fuck. you always talked a shit ton. that never really did change about you—but you looked.. more glowy. like you were doing better. a lot better.

when you kept droning on about something probably about him, matt is just sighing and sliding his hand into your hair. patting your head and then his hand comes up to pat your cheek a few times. "shut up." before his hand slapped your cheek gently—shock forming across your features as the sting starts from the harsh impact. you blink and turn your head to glare at matt, even though it did distract you from everything you were so worried about.

it's why matt has you on your knees between his legs, a hand cradling your face as you whine gently. he knows you. god, he knows you so well that he knows just how to get you to stop yapping your ass off. maybe you needed it too, with how much anxiety had wrapped around your entire body.

"shh, y'got it. doin' real good, baby," matt is cooing at you so gently, you forget that he's your ex. that you probably shouldn't even be here right now, for both of your sakes. but you can't help the way your cheek leans into the palm of his hand, warm and inviting. his eyes glance at your pitiful fucking expression, his free hand slapping you across the face gently.

sometimes, matt doesn't feel like making you suck his dick when you get too pissed off. so, he'll settle on this, or some other tactic to get you to shut your mouth. even after you two have broken off, some things just never change. and, in some way, matt kind of hates how well he knows you as he lands another slap across your pretty lil' face. "i got you, baby. i always got ya. don't gotta worry that head off anymore."

—

inspired from a thought i posted idk how long ago

@conspiracy-ash @sturniolosfavkayleigh @lvrsturniolo @st7rnioioss @meatballlover10 @ashlishes @ferdzom @55sturn @chriseatingmeoutin4k @unknvhx @mattslolita

©eph3merall 2024

[spaceshipkat]

anyway had a lovely call with my agent this morning that has left me absolutely buzzing. it feels so good? to have someone love my books as much as they do??? like goddamn

[slavhew]

Hello!

If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?

There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?

OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts

No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:

This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.

Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning

Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.

And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!

Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)

This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that

[exopelagic]

everyone was so harsh to alola it deserved so much better. like this region is so well designed and so pretty and the story is actually really fun? will never forgive everyone for what we did to her

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

painting a mackerel today :]

[eggmeralda]

I thought the october curse was gonna be skipped this year based on the fact I got a job on the first day but like. it turns out that was the bad luck disguising itself at good news and it's just another normal october

[cat-dragron]

Going from Ancillary Sword into August Kitko and the Mechs from Space is such like... whiplash to my brain. Ancillary Sword was challenging to read in a way I wasn't expecting but man was it rich as hell, the depth of the worlds and characters in that book are insane. Meanwhile reading AKatMfS is like... the premise is so cool and seems right up my alley but something about the writing is just not gelling with me for whatever reason. I want to get through this book so badly because I am interested but like... part of me is just wondering is this it?? Is this all there is to it?

[serxinns]

idk if u do angst or not but i love me so good angst so if u dont mind can u do some kiribaku x reader angst plz i would love that thx like they cooking for kiri and bakugo and bakugo complains about how little reader dose and kiri agrees cuz they just kinda stay at home and clean do the laundry and so like after he says that she gets mad so the next day she does nothing and like just reads like doesn't cook for them that night doesn't do there laundry and doesn't clean the house that day and at first bakugo's mad about it and kiri doesn't know what to feel and this go's for a few day and kiri and bakugo have to do everything and the see how hard it is and apologizes to reader! i think it cute

thank you plz dont feel like u have to! i love ur writing

*evil laughter* you fool I AM THE IDEAL ANGST WRITER AND IM A KIRIBAKU FAN IM A YUZUYA FAN AFTER ALL 😈

You were humming along to your favorite song as you were carrying 3 baskets of both your husband's clothes "That's About all of them" you huffed in relief you then grabbed and poured all the bleached cleaning chemicals in there and the clothes and turned on the washing machine "ok so I cleaned the room unclothed the sink and the toilet went and got groceries what else..." you were thinking for a while until a delight smell met your nose

"Man whatever Kats is cooking must be good I might sneak a bite or two.." a mischievous grin started forming on your face you crept out of the laundry room in the halls to where the kitchen to hear Kiri and Katsuki talking, you leaned your ear closer and it seems like they were talking about you

"And then when I came back I saw y/n tried and laying on the couch sleeping like a layout sloth with MY favorite chips in hand! " You giggled as you heard Katsuki angrily rambling on to his other lover Kiri about you slacking off thinking he was still holding a grudge about the snack incident"God I wish she could just do SOMETHING around the house rather than clean and BARELY cooking shes so..LAZY" "bakugo don't be so mean but yea I kinda agree I wish she could do more in the house rather than clean.."

Your heart stung at that very moment tears started to swell up in your eyes you had to carry Kiri's 2000-pound dumbbells when it was delivered at his home which bruised your hands and arms pretty bad, another time you saw permanent stainsmon Akatsuki's hero suit due to a battle with a notorious villain and decided to spend all your savings try and get it off, the more rambling they went on about you being "Lazy" the more angry and hurt you were

You then ran up the stairs and stuffed your face into the pillow and cried softly were you not working hard enough? After all the bruises cuts and money worth nothing? Were you actually Lazy? Thoughts swirled around your head and you lost your appetite you didn't feel like sleeping with them so you grabbed a pillow and blanket and slept in the guest room for tonight, you locked the door making sure they wouldn't barge in

Suddenly a knock on the door alerted you "Hey baby you there why are you in the guest room?" Kiri asked concern filling his voice but you ignored him getting the pillow and putting it on your head, Kiri tried a few more times getting more worried for you so he quickly ran down to get Katsuki about the situation "hèy blast y/n locked herself in the guest room... I think they're ignoring me" katsuki rolled his eyes while brushing his teeth getting ready for bed

"She's probably in her "dramatic bitch phase moods" or whatever she calls it she'll prob get over it in the morning," he said waving it off "but it feels like shes mad at us.. I think we should-" he was cut off by katsuki kissing him on the lips "El they'll be fine I'm sure of it plus she'll prob crawl back into bed without us knowing in the middle of the night now good night" katsuki pecked kiri on the cheek and jumped into bed Kiri took one last Glance in corners and slowly climbed in the bed feeling a bit empty even katsuki felt it so he clung onto Kiri but it was still empty and cold without you

The next morning they woke up and there was still no you, katsuki glanced at the space and rolled his eyes maybe you are mad.. or you woke up early to cook breakfast? Katsuki then took a shower and then got ready, you normally already had his warm dry clothes in the drawers but to his surprise, they were all soaking "Y/N!" He yelled out stomping around to hunt you down for this cruel prank but to find out you already left without their breakfast... only but a note and plain grain cereal saying "Here's your breakfast breakfast 😁"

Katsuki was stunned knowing that you would go all out making them a big breakfast with their drinks and everything decorated Kiri followed behind him yawning he glanced at the table and looked a bit worried "Katsuki what if we did make her upset" Katsuki groaned at his boyfriends whining and turn towards him "she's not mad she's probably was too lazy to do it and even if she was she can't go that far we can outlast her rebellion" he said with confidence

It's been 2 days and it's been hell you weren't lifting a finger for them and both of your boys weren't too pleased with that, katsuki wasn't used to washing clothes so he accidentally mixed the colored clothes with the white clothes which stained some of the white clothes to his annoyance, Kiri was freaking out that there was red hair dye left and he had hero meaning to go and his hair was almost turning black he begged you to go to the store but to his defeat you just stared at him and politely said no and got back to your reading

Katsuki was getting enraged by your sudden behavior so he confronted you with a beaming glare "Oi what's with this shitty attitude your pulling?" "Blasty no!" You tilted your head innocently at the 2 Men "What do you mean I'm doing something" You were about to go back to your read when Katsuki snatched the book and slammed it on the counter you glared at him "I had enough of this shitty attitude woman you have been doing less and less work each day and we're paying the consequences"

you scoffed "But is this what I am right a Lazy bum" Katsuki was about to question you about your statement but then it hit him..the memory of him and Kiri talking about you... "you heard our conversation" you looked over to him as your eyes narrow "at every single last word" Kirishima swelled up with guilt avoiding eye contact with white katsuki was still glaring

"Listen, baby, we're sorry it won-" "Oh don't give me that half ass apology you're gonna have to work for it BIG TIME" "Oh please like we deserve your forgiveness just because you're not doing much" You laughed sarcastically and got in his face

"I bet your ass wouldn't last a week without me doing the housework" "Fine winner gets to use the others credit card for the day and make them breakfast in bed for almost a week" "what!? Bakugan I dont think-" "Deal" you cut off Kirishima as you shook hands with the blond "what have I gotten into"

The next few days were hell! Most of Kiri and katsuki's colored clothes were bleached due to Kiri accidentally putting them in the colored clothes rather than putting them in the white clothes all their clothes were full of dye stains that day while you happily shopped you some clothes,

Katsuki, on the other hand, was worse he didn't have any time to make breakfast or lunch so he went on for the day cranky and hungry having to eat cheap instant ramen in his break and was questioned by fans on why was there Clear dye stain on his suit and kiri got laughed by both his friends and in the agency about his hair drooping and all black colored making his fans chased after him with questions or stating they liked his hair red which was to his annoyance

You watched as the two boys struggled with doing their jobs as you sat there secretly giggling to yourself and talking with your friends on the phone like a form to brag it to them

"Katuki im gonna apologize it's getting too much..." Kiri told Katsuki as he was struggling to mow the lawn (you also do that) "Are you kidding you giving up that easily because she was a" "No Bakugo because I know to feel what's it like its hard, look at you, your struggling to turn on the lawn mower your clothes are stained and we haven't eaten no good meals in over a week I'm tried katsuki and you are too"

katsuki stood they're quietly he didn't wanna admit but it was true it had been torture without you hell even if they kept going like this the whole house would be a disaster but not inky that their relationship would be stained and he didn't want that he truly loved you two even if he doesn't show it and he doesn't mean or intentionally wanna hurt you was he really taking it to far? That's what he made his final decision

"Fine.." Kiri turned slowly turned into smirk a bit "what was that couldn't hea-" "I SAID FINE DONT PUSH IT YOU DAMN ROCK" he chucked putting hands up in defeat "alright alright I heard you thr 1st time kats!" He chuckled as both was finding a way to make it up to you when you got home

You arrived at your home signing it's been a long day for you even tho you barely did anything you had a lot on your mind wondering was too far but were still confident that they needed to learn their lesson!, you got to your doorstep seeing a note that said "come in there's a surprised" in both Katsuki and Eljirou handwriting you raised your brow a bit but curious to know what was the surprise about

You slowly open the door revealing a fancy dinner table with all your favorite foods' petals on the floor what's next to the dish is a small gift right beside it "You look over to see both Your husbands' faces guilt written all over, you narrowed put your hands on your hips pretending to not be happy "so what's all this" katsuki sighed knowing that you were still mad at them which was reasonable "an apology i-no we're sorry for what we say I know this isn't much" you glanced I silently "but we also ran a warm bath for you with your favorite show recorded-"

you cut the men off by tackling them with a hug happy tears fllow "I COULDNT DO IT ANYMORE I HATED THIS CHALLENGE" Kiri's face was starting to swell up in tears as well "ME NEITHER" Both you and Kiri cried dramatically while Katsuki stood there genuinely smiling and chuckling a bit

"What are you laughing at blasty" glaring playfully at the blond who was on the edge of wanting to bust out laughing at his partner's dramatic performance

"Nothing" he smirked he was just glad everything was back to normal "So who wanna watch (favorite show)"

[artytaeh]

Is it just me or are Theo and Patrick Verona from 10 things I hate about you lowkey similar. Especially with how patrick has all those rumors and he seems intimidating but is really a nice guy. Idk I just feel like they’re similar!

Also I absolutely adore your writing and your take on Theo, it’s exactly how I imagine him! <33

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU MENTIONED?! god i love that movie, tysm anon, you just decided what i'm watching today. ✋

and honestly that's so sweet </3 i feel like theodore has this resting bitch face, sarcastic demeanor (i've said it once, and i'll say it before: raises an eyebrow. at. everything.) and his friendgroup aren't exactly helpful to make him seem like the most approachable person.

( like seriously, he's in draco's friendgroup— you'd assume that he's a hardcore bully. best friends with mattheo riddle, joining fistfights to help him. and the green tie only seals the deal, unfortunately. )

then you become close to him and you find out how silly theodore nott can be.

this man is NERDY, your honor! theodore would marvel at a real bookstore / library, all pretty and comfortable, for him to spend an afternoon browsing through the many titles and authors' works!

like if you get theodore talking about his favorite books, good fucking luck. theo rarely has anyone to discuss them with, and sincerely, if he has a certain opinion about a character, it won't change.

'no one gets them like i do. 🤓☝️' type of shit. can be the biggest hater and biggest defender of other characters too, nevermind how little or how damaging their actions were.

besides, the italian stereotype is real. theodore doesn't shut up during some meals at hogwarts— god forbid someone tries to make an italian recipe at the castle. if pasta is involved, then theo might even complain about how it's not even cooked properly.

( everytime theodore complains and rambles about how italy is superior in terms of food, hell, even coffee, the other four slytherins raise their hands and shake them like this: 🤌🏻 to tease him. )

and like you said, he's actually a nice guy. i feel like theodore, despite his concerning friendships, and few bad habits, is a pretty nice guy. theo is more of an introvert, and someone that if possible, would like peace.

as in, not getting into unnecessary bullshit. unlike draco, and mattheo sometimes, even lorenzo every now and then, theodore will rarely start shit with someone.

and tysm ?! i melt like butter in a pan everytime people say that my writing and take on slytherin boys feels so in character. 🫶 i'm so glad you think the same! tysm for reading my blog and interacting with me, lovely! ♡

[suzukiblu]

currently having EMOTIONS abt your 'Billy adopts kon and it goes p good actually'. Billy's there just like oh man I'm rambling they're gonna think I'm so lame...meanwhile I as a reader (and presumably also Kon and possibly the other characters present??) are actually going 'oh my god. oh my god he's known Kon for like one singular minute and already arranged a flat according to his best predictions of Kon's needs/wants, gave Kon FIRST PICK OF BEDROOM, and has freely offered to learn how to cook AND how to drive for the sole purpose of taking better care of Kon'. like. oh my god. oh my god. Billy is so precious and I want to give him a hug. I hope Kon isn't too overwhelmed or suspicious due to Billy's enthusiasm tho lmao. (pls could there be..more? more Billy adopts kon, if possible?) anyway I love ur writing. thank you. idk how to ask from a sidelong but this is tryingahandinholdingapen btw :D

I gotchu, friend, lol. @tryingahandinholdingapen But yeah I love a good unreliable narrator, one way or the other it's just so fun peppering in all the bits of "the actual situation that the narrator is oblivious to", hahaha.

Rich people are weird, Billy decides, then sets the swiss rolls and zebra cakes and rest of the strawberry shortcakes on the counter in case Kid Flash is still hungry or Superboy wants any of them and closes the pantry. Batman’s just doing his best, he guesses. Though Billy hopes he knows how to coupon, if he’s always buying brand-name. 

Well, he’s Batman. It’d be weirder if he didn’t know how to coupon, Billy figures.

It looks like Superboy ate all of his snack cake while Billy and Kid Flash were in the pantry, at least, which Billy hopes means he liked it. He doesn’t know how much real food Superboy’s had, but Batman’d said he should be fine eating solid stuff and not just whatever he’d been getting in his cloning pod. Though Billy’d still asked if they could get some bottled smoothies and protein shakes and stuff like that to keep in the fridge, just in case. He figured those might be easier for him to eat and digest, if it came up. Or like, maybe appeal to him more, if nothing else? 

Billy has no idea, honestly, he’s just doing his best here. The wisdom of Solomon is pretty useful but it’s not really, like, that much of a parenting guide. 

He is not going to cut Superboy in half. Like, ever. Like he understands the idea of that story but also it is an insane and incredibly freaky story and he is just not invoking it, ever. Just no way.

“If it’s alright, Captain, we should get going. We’ve got a bit of a drive to get home,” Mrs. West says, then sighs as Kid Flash empties the boxes of swiss rolls and zebra cakes in lightning-fast succession, though he leaves the strawberry shortcakes alone. Billy checks in the fridge and offers him a couple of the more filling smoothies–peanut butter and banana should be more filling, anyway, even with a speedster’s appetite. He steals those from convenience stores sometimes, when he can. He can’t be Captain Marvel all the time. 

Well–maybe he could, he guesses. But he does miss being himself, sometimes.

“Thanks, man,” Kid Flash says eagerly, then immediately shotguns both smoothies. 

“Wally,” Mr. West says in exasperation as Mrs. West sighs again. “Don’t eat Captain Marvel out of house and home.” 

“It’s okay, we’ve got lots of food!” Billy promises cheerfully. “I work with Flash, I know how hungry he gets. I bet it’s way worse when you still have growth spurts to get through.” 

“It is so much worse,” Kid Flash mutters vehemently, eyeing the empty smoothie bottles in his hands accusingly. Billy gets him another peanut butter banana one on principle. He really doesn’t want Kid Flash to be that hungry. It’s . . . not a good feeling. 

“We appreciate it, Captain, really, but we’ve got snacks and a cooler in the car,” Mrs. West says. 

“Oh, good,” Billy says, relieved. Mr. and Mrs. West both give him strange, inscrutable looks, then glance back to Superboy. Billy wonders if he likes peanut butter banana smoothies. Though if he liked the snack cakes, there’s strawberry banana ones too, so that might be better? And strawberry kiwi, but that’s probably less filling. “Superboy, do you want a smoothie too?” 

“No,” Superboy says. Billy pauses again, then gets him a strawberry banana one and tosses it over. Superboy catches it, eyes it, and then opens it and takes a sip.

Okay, Billy thinks he’s getting the hang of this. But also they should probably talk about how “no” needs to actually mean “no”. Like, for Superboy he’s sure it’s just like that phase when toddlers want to say “no” to everything no matter what, but it’s still important for him to understand. Billy doesn’t want to accidentally upset him or overstep because Superboy doesn’t know how to really say “no” to something.

Yeah, they definitely need to talk about that, he decides.

[puppyluvfics]

NSFW Alphabet | Goo Gunil

Goo Gunil | WC: 1.2k Genre: smut Summary: nsfw alphabet game thing idk Warnings: this is just. PURE filth. I'm sorry. (No im not). NOT proofread, just straight up rambles. A/N: writers block is kicking my ass forgive me pookie bears ALSO! X is excluded bc i will Not be writing about him in that kind of detail <3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s literally an angel idc, he would constantly ask if you’re okay and remind you to breathe and give you back rubs T-T AND omg stop he would be so quick to wipe you off if you hated feeling messy like that and he’d make sure the towel was warm and that you weren’t cold after. He gives me the vibes of someone who would give you kisses all over, like after he’d wipe something off of you, he’d kiss that spot to remind you that he’s so thankful and finds you so stunning. ALSO I feel like he’d be the kind to dress you, either in your own clothes or in something of his so you were swimming in it and comfy.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I mean. Come on now. He’s an arm guy,,, I feel it. Something about you gripping onto his biceps drives him nuts. I also feel like he would be really into like. He would be into hips and/or thighs… like something about how he could easily dig his thumbs into your skin without doing any real damage other than surface bruising… yeah… 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Now… hear me out on this. It could go one of two ways where he’d either really like to come all over you and make a mess of you OR he’s a “swallow it” kind of guy… either way, it’s going to involve holding you down in one way or another

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

So who’s going to beat my ass if I say I think he likes to edge himself… that is all.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You can’t tell me this man hasn’t gotten laid… look at him. Is he a sex god? I do not think so. BUT he for sure knows his way around and he gives me the vibe of not being scared to be told to switch it up if what he’s doing doesn’t feel good for his partner.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Man’s a classic guy, I fear… missionary 95% of the time, only switching it up when you want to

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I think he could go both ways, but leans toward serious… I dunno! I think he likes to make a big deal about it every time and take his time.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I’ll keep it brief - trimmed and neat <3

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

^^ Like I said, he takes his time for sure… foreplay? Oh, it’s happening. Teasing? Forever. He is putting his mouth ALL over you, worshipping you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

And if. If I say he likes to jack off in front of a mirror… then what?

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He gives me such vanilla vibes, but ig cumplay if anything… breeding maybe?

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s an at home/in private guy, don’t even joke yourself… he wants you all to himself and he wants you both to be so comfortable 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He’s a man so. Everything. LOL no jk but fr I think he really likes dirty talk and like. Sultry things that aren’t totally obvious, like you walking around in lingerie and “accidentally” showing it to him when you bend over, or asking him to touch you in a seemingly chill way only to find you aren’t wearing anything underneath, yknow?

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

He’s the least hardcore guy, I’m sorry. Yeah, he goes all out on stage but I think when it comes to sex, he’s so gentle and caring and sweet but still like… not a dominant, at all, but powerful. He doesn’t get off on obedience, you get me?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

LOVES giving, I just know. Idk if I’d call him a munch per se, but I can just see him being the type to lay between your legs and make you come AT LEAST once before you even touch him. Also loves receiving! Somewhere between sloppy blowjobs and cock worship… yeah he’s gone.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Somewhere in the middle, for sure. He’ll speed up when you’re close, and he’ll go tantalizingly slow when you’re whining and begging for more, but he’s a rhythm guy…

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Big no, methinks. He likes aftercare and taking his time, but that doesn’t mean he’s against starting something he can finish later, like edging you a few times or rubbing you through your panties just to get you wet and needy.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I think he’d try almost anything once within reason. Nothing extreme, obviously, but if you brought up the idea of trying a new kink or position, he’d be down to try it once, maybe twice if he liked it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

GOD forever. Hours. This man takes his time, you cannot tell me he doesn’t. He would love to leave you fucked out, even if it means he only comes once or twice.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I don’t think he’s against them, but they’re not the first thing that come to mind… he seems the type to find you fucking yourself and then want to “show you how it’s really done” you feel?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I mentioned earlier how I feel like he’d love to tease you when you whine, and I stand by that. When your thighs are pressing together and your hips are bucking and you’re grabbing at him, he’d slow down and taunt you, making you use your words, just because he likes to hear you and know the effect he has on you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s loud but only for you. What I mean is that he is going to be SO in your ear calling you pet names (lovingly or degradingly, tbh) and grunting, but he’s not putting on a show of it… he wants you to know what you do to him and how good you feel around him and how much he loves fucking you dumb.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon)

LISTEN. I cannottttt stop thinking about him wanting his partner to sit on his face and eat them out through their panties… like… not all the time but I cantttt get it out of my head.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He’s down when you’re down! He’s never going to pout about it if he’s in the mood and you’re not, but he would ask you to understand if he disappeared for a bit to take care of it, yknow? But whenever you’re in the mood… he is so on it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Not that shortly after, tbh. I think he’d be too protective and have too big of a desire to make sure you’re okay and clean and feel safe and loved and reassured, he’d only sleep after you fell asleep.

[saltpepperbeard]

OBLIGATORY COMPLETE OFMD SEASON 2 TRAILER THOUGHTS AND RAMBLES POST™

Woo boy this is going to be a long one, and I mean, A LONG ONE LMAO. And, of course, all in good fun; i simply just Have To Scream and Incessantly Ramble. So, if you'd like to scream along with me, and read through an ESSAY OF THOUGHTS HERE SHDKJSDHS-

I just have to start things off with my babygirl. With the babygirlest of babygirls. LOOK at that pining. INSANE levels of pining. "When will my husband return from the war" levels of it, quite frankly PFFF. And with the hair back and the slut strands out too like???

I will say, it's very interesting to see him pining like this out in the open. I very much expected him to say locked away in his cabin most of the time, and stay entirely masked whenever he's out. But it seems like he makes STEPS towards healing rather early into the season, as the Kraken Getup seems to drop pretty quick. So, I'm very interested to know how that'll play into his dynamic with other characters (Fang, for example, seems to take notice, based on the comment he makes in the next screenie).

regardless, babygirl you're so strong and beautiful and i'm wrapping you in a blanket, kissing you on the forehead, and express shipping your man RIGHT into your arms. it'll get better, i promise.

but no really i'm going insane because like...just when edward teach couldn't get anymore beautiful, he really decides to pull up with a MESSY BUN???

HIIIIIII FANGY HI FRENCHIE HELLLOOOO MY SWEETHEARTS <3

I don't talk about Fang nearly as much as I should because I love him so much. I think getting a hug from him would Heal Me, actually. Like please hsdjkss he's so sweet- "I've never seen Blackbeard like this 🥺." CAN I GET HIM A PUPPY? I'M GETTING HIM A PUPPY.

Also please are they eating cake hsdksjks. ARE THEY EATING WEDDING CAKE. Imagine your raid is to crash a wedding, steal cake toppers, and then eat what's left of the wedding cake jskdhsdjkls. DREAM JOB???

AND THEN THIS. HOOOOO BOY. HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY.

when i tell y'all i am Foaming At The Mouth over this. Like, it obviously guts me to see Stede crying, but it makes me SO intrigued to know what made him come to the more stark realization, what made him flip from optimistic and bitchy to more somber and pained.

There SEEMS to be some sort of shift sometime around when he sees Ed's wanted poster, because there's that shot of him looking melancholic in the rain. But it doesn't quite seem as stark as THIS.

It makes me wonder if it's a gradual assembly of puzzle pieces, ie finding out about the marooning, then Lucius, then Ed's scourge across the Caribbean, etc etc. And it slooooowly dawns on him that his decision to leave in order to keep Ed happy ended up doing EXACTLY the opposite.

OR, I wonder if this is following the reunion—a PAINFUL one at that. Like, maybe he still was going into it a bit idyllic, and was holding onto the hope that it would still be alright...only for Ed to react poorly/in a way he never anticipated to see. He went into it maybe with a bit of anxiety, but ultimately leaned on the denial...only to have all the fears confirmed.

Or maybe it's a mixture of both. But either way, it's SO so interesting to see him have to SIT with it all. And even though it hurts to see HIM hurt, I'm actually very glad they addressed this and made him feel the heavier weight.

...Only to transition right into silliness here with this shot dHJKSDKLS. ed babe listen i get it. i Get It. i'm right there with you, babe.

BUT ALSO, makes me wonder what he was smoking in his pipe beforehand. Or maybe it was the transition from pipe to a straight BLUNT that got him shdjksd. Or MAYBE it was just ~*~the sapphic kush~*~ that took him out PFFFF. wlw on mlm violence idk.

SPEAKING of which...

here we go, lesbians. here we go, lesbians, come on. oH MY GOD, LESBIANS,,,

do you think anne and mary want me

BUT OKAY LMAO THESE TWO,,,

With that whole shot where it looks like Anne just kissed Stede, and the way they're both 👀👀 at Ed and Stede having their tense little interaction, I have to wonder if their gaydars go off and one or both subsequently decide to stir shit up PFFFF. Like, causing chaos by making Ed/Stede jealous type deal. And maybe Anne kissing Stede is what makes Ed choke on the blunt sdhkshdks WHO KNOWS.

Regardless, very excited to see the pairs interact. WHO KNOWS WHAT SORT OF MLM WLW SHENANIGANS WILL HAPPEN SDKJS.

And ALSO in relation to that scene, I just have to shdjksdhljksdkls over the editing because it took me out. Ed being like "And more importantly, no more Stede >:)" only to show his little wedding topper doll with Stede's subsequent "HULLOOO, IDWAD."

Killed me. KILLED ME DEAD. And also, a neat little way of editing call Ed out on his bullshit REAL FAST HSDJKSL. like, honey, you can try, but you know full and damn well that silly little guy has burrowed into the deepest chambers of your heart. he has your heart and you have his, WHOOPS.

Ricky, right? This is Ricky??

"WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY..."

So okay, a nose prosthesis is metal as hell, but that means we ALLLLLL know who he got tangled with PFFF. And I believe we see him in the Republic of Pirates talking to Stede and Co??? So I'm very VERY interested to see how that all devolves, and how he goes from vibing to wanting to throw hands.

Unless he was like, on some sort of reconnaissance mission for the British in the first place.

But I digress. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU HSDJKLSLKS

...The way I missed this SEVERAL times over, and didn't even see it until someone else pointed it out in another post.

IZZY WITH A HOOF PEGLEG. PRESUMABLY FROM THE UNICORN. BECAUSE WHERE ELSE WOULD THEY GET A WOODEN HOOF HSDKLJS.

But that also has me like 👁️👁️ for SO many different reasons. How did he lose a good portion of his leg? Was Stede the one to offer up the unicorn leg as a pegleg?

And TRULY, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH HIM AND STEDE ANYWAY HSDKJLS LIKE I STILL CAN'T EVEN WRAP MY MIND FULLY AROUND THAT ONE,,,

My running theory is still that like...Izzy wanted a very specific version of Blackbeard. Izzy wanted someone who no longer exists, or maybe never existed to begin with. And so Izzy thought he was doing right by taking Stede out of the picture and nudging Ed back into a more viscous type of pirating...

Only for that to COMPLETELY backfire, and for Ed to get far more unstable. And like, something something Izzy was already complaining about Ed's "erratic moods" and "questionable decisions" BEFORE Stede came into the picture, so I doubt he's going to be content with Ed's turmoil and all the impulsivity that'll likely come with it.

So maybe, MAYBE, I'm thinking he'll have a bit of growth by realizing that Ed and Stede need each other, or maybe that Ed was way happier when things were smoother between him and Stede, at least. And knowing him and his characterization lol, it might not even be a selfless realization/decision. Maybe he'll only be doing it because he wants a less emotional version of Ed, and thinks that having Stede around and being cordial with him will allow that to happen.

And maybe it leads to even MORE growth when he gets roped into training Stede/the crew idk.

Regardless, REGARDLESS, they are one of the last pairs I ever expected to team up, because they were ACTIVELY bitching at each other all through last season HSDJKS.

HI AGAIN OLU MY SWEET LOVELY OLU MY SWEETHEART DARLING <3

BUT WHO ARE WE FIGHTING, SIR. WHAT'S THE TEA????

I'm not 100% certain, but it SEEMS like this is at Jackie's, or at least in the Republic of Pirates somewhere. And based on Ricky's injury, and also other little tidbits of footage, it SEEMS like something goes down there. Maybe some sort of scuffle between the Navy and our guys or something equivalent that snowballs into even ~*~Larger Problems~*~

SEE BECAUSE YEAH—EXPLOSIONS?? CANNON FIRE??? WHAT'RE Y'ALL DOIIINNNGGG LMAO.

And it's so wild because I definitely see Olu (with the CROCS OFC LMAO) and Pete, and then I THINK I see Lucius and Izzy in that mix too??? So like,,,

WHAT DID Y'ALL GET TANGLED IN SDHJKSKLS. AND WHERE IN THE SEASON WOULD THIS FALL??????

Oh this hurts lol. This one hurts. This one hurts a LOT. Stede Bonnet stop breaking my heart Challenge: impossible.

Because that's his home. That's his soul placed into a ship. That's the conglomeration of his hope, and heart, and adventure, and family,,,

And it's in RUINS.

LIKE, CAN THINGS STOP GOING BADLY FOR HIM ACTUALLY HSDKJS. CAN HE STOP GETTING DECKED BY HIS TRAUMA OVER AND OVER AND OVER. BECAUSE,,,

Fresh off the "you defile beautiful things/you're a monster/you're a failure/you ruin everything you touch" train, and he comes back to this. And if this is after he reunites with Ed and realizes things are bad, then man, that'll be even WORSE.

LIKE, NUMEROUS CHAMBERS OF HIS HEART HAVE BEEN SHREDDED. HIS HOME AND HEART ARE BROKEN.

mmMMmmmMMMMMM DAVID CAN WE MAYBE NOT <3 SHDJKLSKS

BUT, off we go cartwheeling from that footage to a VERY interesting bit of dialogue from Stede:

"The entire escape relies on this."

Escape?? ESCAPE???

Here I was thinking they enlisted they help of the Red Flag Fleet and/or Susan to try and catch up with the Revenge. So, ESCAPE???????

Did they get captured? Snatched up from the Republic of Pirates or something equivalent? Does someone have beef with Ed and holds Stede and Co hostage because they're trying to aid him?

OR, are they voluntarily on that ship to hide/lay low from the Navy or something, but their cover has been blown, and they have to quickly flee back onto the Revenge?

Very very inch resting whatever the case.

...

STEDE. FOOKIN. BONNET,,,

🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎

LIKE SIR, WHAT THE FUCK SHDSKD, Y'KNOW??? WITH THE STIDDIES OUT AND THE EARRING AND THE SCRUFF,,,

GOD LMAO. JESUS CHALUPA. CEASE.

like, you're telling me ed is going to see him like this and isn't going to IMMEDIATELY drop and start tying his hair into a ponytail? mmmMMKAY

BUT OKAY—ACTUALLY, that joke sort of brings me to a more angsty theory, because of course it does lol. I have to wonder if Stede is dressing like this because he legitimately wants to, OR, if it's because he feels like he has to.

Like, something something he's trying to do everything he can to win respect and establish himself and ALSO win back his man. And, something something he is ONCE AGAIN doing what HE thinks Ed wants, as opposed to what Ed might ACTUALLY want. Like, "Oh, he's a notorious pirate. He'll like me again if I have a little more gruff and backbone, right? That's what pirates like, right???"

LIKE NO YOU DOOFUS HSDSHDS HE LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE, JUST AS YOU LOVE HIM HOW HE IS. AND HE DREAMS OF DRESSING IN A DRESS WHEN MARRYING YOU. SO LIKE,,,

IF THAT IS INDEED THE CASE, I'M BEATING ED TO THE CHASE AND HEADBUTTING HIM MYSELF HSDKJLSDS.

*grumbling* even though it's a very VERY good look on him, so i hope it's more on his own volition.

I just want him to feel comfortable as HIMSELF, and feel like he doesn't have to perform/conform to anything. And I think there's something very deeply queer about him and Ed BOTH going through that. They're BOTH trying to figure themselves out and what they're comfortable with and who they want to be. And I hope that, IF this is his look, it's something that HE wants entirely.

((Which makes me raise my eyebrows a bit more because of the Cunty Red Jacket. Because he's CUNT. And also his curls are more pronounced when he wears that too. SooOOOoooOOO?????? VERY interested to see what he wants, and where he comfortably settles))

AND GODDDDDD ONTO YET ANOTHER VERY EYEBROW RAISING PART LMAO.

So, we've seen that shot of someone falling into the water like 80 million times at this point. And this trailer ALSO showed an additional shot of said person SINKING into the gloom. At least, I THINK it was the same person/connected. Again, could be a total misdirect lol.

And then we've seen all the blue-tinted shots of Ed off on his own somewhere, fight someone/something all the while being accompanied by some unknown figure.

And BECAUSE of the tinting/consistent lighting, and BECAUSE of the figure accompanying him, I have to also wonder like others similarly are...

Is this a DREAM???

Is this some sort of unconscious sequence where Ed works through trauma/hurt/demons? Is that person with him the ghost of Hornigold or another significant figure from his past? And does said sequence end with him jumping from the cliff and allowing the Kraken to disappear back to the gloom???

But something that makes that whole theory SUS is the shots we've gotten of someone, presumably Ed, coming up out of the ocean. And it's not tinted blue like all of these other shots are.

So it's just hsdjkhsdjksdhskjdhsjksfs??????

Regardless, REGARDLESS, I think all of this points to Ed going on some sort of journey, some sort of bout of self-discovery and self-acceptance. I think he's going to heal parts of himself, or at least SETTLE with parts of himself, no matter the circumstances. And that would be so good because I want that so badly for him. I want him to be able to do that for himself.

...AND SPEAKING OF HEALING SHDJKSKLS

BUNNY. BUNNET. SIR THAT'S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT STEDE BUNNET.

but omfg this is yet another case of my brain not being able to piece together timelines. because ed babe where ARE you. "BABYGIRL WHERE ARE YEEEWW..."

He looks so soft, and also has on a different ring??? An emerald/cyan looking ring??? AND THE KRAKEN RING THAT TAIKA ALWAYS WEARS HSDKJS.

So I just hsdjkhdjklsdhdjklshsjkls. "jodi you'e literally going to find out in like less than a month" I KNOW I KNOW OKAY BUT THAT DOESN'T PREVENT ME FROM GNAWING ON MY DESK FOR 18-ISH MORE DAYS HSDKJLS.

Also, as an aside, I SO very hope this leads to Fangy getting a puppy. I SO very hope that the "pets befouling the ship" clause is scratched from the rulebook PFFFF.

LOOK AT MY SWEETHEARTS HAVING FUN. LOOK AT JIM BEING UNHINGED SHDKJSS LOVE THAT FOR THEM. SERIOUS GOOSE IS BACK TO SILLY GOOSE!!! LOOK AT STEDE LOOKING LIKE A PROUD DAD. THIS IS THE SHIT I'M HERE FOR!!!

also hi hello is that archie. dO YOU THINK ARCHIE WANTS M-(GUNSHOTS)

i'll just be in the corner sobbing over being attracted to so many of these damn pirates. like, it's an Issue

...mmMMMMMM ONLY FOR ME TO TRANSITION RIGHT BACK INTO ANGST TERRITORY LMAO. BECAUSE STEDE, DARLING, WHAT IS THAT INJURY???

I've seen people theorize it's a stab wound, a bullet wound, or some sort of wound that was burned/cauterized. Either way, EITHER WAY, OUCH??? CAN MY DARLING PLEASE KNOW PEACE HSDJKSDKL

Also again, this all plays back into my theory that they're having a party, only to get crashed by some sort of navy personal or another pirate bounty hunter of some variety. And Stede gets captured/tortured.

*Banging pots and pans together* WHEEEEERE ARE WE IN THE TIMELINE WHERE ARE WE IN THE TIMELINE WHERE ARE WE HSDJKLSHDLKS

Same shirt, but has his EARRING. And is BATTLING A SHIT TON OF PEOPLE. So I would assume this comes AFTER the party fiasco, but also jsjshdjkshlJKHDKLS????

Also the CONCERN on his face is so striking. It makes me wonder if he's looking at Ed. ESPECIALLY because—

SAME BEACH, SAME BATTLE??? SEPARATED BY THE PARTY FIASCO AND ARE NOW FIGHTING TO GET TO ONE ANOTHER?????

But two things about this shot. Well, three, if you count me absolutely FOAMING at the mouth at getting to see Ed battle because hsdjhsjkhsdjkls bARK,,,

One, his sword is bloody. Love that for him. King shit. Slicing and dicing.

BUT TWO, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE APPEARS TO BE HOLDING HIS RIGHT SIDE. NOT THE LEFT SIDE WHERE HE'S BEEN STABBED LIKE 12+ TIMES, BUT THE RIGHT.

HE GETS INJURED??? DO THEY BOTH GET INJURED?????? DAVID I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 18+ DAYS LEFT BUT I'M DYING OVER HERE HSDJKSLDS

oh hi izzy lmao the way i did not expect the hardest line in the trailer to come from him.

"You don't know the first thing about piracy. It's not about glory, it's about belonging to something."

God. GOD. I really feel like he's going to end up surprising me so much this season lmao.

((BECAUSE NOT TO MENTION, THE FACT THAT HE'S TALKING TO RICKY, AND IT JUST SEEMS,,, 👀))

oh god y'all lmao. want to see how loud i can scream. because, i missed this my first few watches, and didn't even notice until it was later pointed out in people's posts, but,,,

LUCIUS!!! L U C I U S!!!!!! MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND LUCIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEARD, WOODEN FINGER, AND ALL.

MY DARLING. MY GUY. MY BESTIE!!!!!!!

Listen, I was like 99.9999999999999999% sure he was alive okay lol. Because NARRATIVELY, he had to be. NARRATIVELY, I think his death would have sent things into irreparable places. Also, silly little pirate rom/com; Y'ALL CAN'T KILL OFF ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED CHARACTERS LMAO LIKE NO WAY.

But regardless, I'm so happy to see him. I'm SO so happy to see him. AND I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIM REUNITE WITH PETE, AS WELL AS SEE HIS REAL AWKWARD INTERACTIONS WITH ED, I'M SURE HSDJKS

Obligatory Wee John in drag mention/shoutout. Because come on now. COME ON NOW. HE'S FUCKING SERVING. ABSOLUTELY SLAYING. THAT BLUE LOOKS SO SO FUCKING GOOD ON HIM TOO. AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY FOR KRISTIAN AS WELL LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Annnnnnd Obligatory Tealoranges mention/shoutout because goodness, look at them. LOOK at them. LOOK HOW SOFT JIM LOOKS. LOOK HOW SWEET THEY ARE. I'M EATING MY ARM!!!

*Baywatch Theme starts playing*

But okay okay what are we thinking:

Training montage/sequence? Or romantic moment?

STEDE'S ROCKY MOMENT LMAO, OR STEDE'S ROMANTIC HERO MOMENT. RUNNING TO GET GAINS, OR RUNNING TO GET HIS MAN.

OOOOOOO BITCH LMAO. OOOOOOOOOOOO BITCH. *RUBS HANDS TOGETHER*

and also snorting at ed's eyes because, just when i think they can't get any bigger,,, just when i think he can't possibly get even More Eyes than usual,,,

But okay hi hello WOWZERS this sequence. This one REALLY has my brain churning.

And I'm subsequently in the camp of thinking that this is very very soon after their reunion, if not their REUNION PROPER. I'm sort of leaning more towards the former, because something tells me they'd want to keep their reunion proper a secret/save it, since it'll likely be a very pivotal moment.

But regardless, SOMETHING SOMETHING SEASON 1 EP3 MIRROR? STEDE FINDS ED INJURED AND WATCHES OVER HIM???? I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW HYPE THAT WOULD MAKE MEEEEE HURT/COMFORT AND PARALLELS MY BELOVED!!!

Because Ed is DEFINITELY injured. Blood on the side of his head, various cuts and bruises across his face, etc etc. And Stede looks very Concerned when he calls his name. So I'm just 👀

Not to mention also, Ed seems VERY out of it. His eyes are wide/glazed-looking in all of the subsequent shots. And his first reaction is to headbutt Stede away shdkjshdkjs.

So again, the theory that it's right around their reunion seems very plausible, based upon reactions and outfits and the like. BUT WHO KNOWS.

also, for the record, still sobbing at how stede keeps his arm protectively draped over ed during these shots,,,

AND *RUBS HANDS OVER THIS ONE TOO*

,,,and maybe also *wipes tears away* because he just looks so SERENE. he looks so CALM. i have to wonder if this is after a pivotal moment in his healing, be it from his own realizations, an intimate conversation with stede, or both.

i just hope he's legitimately feeling better right here because i want that for him. i want that SO bad for him. I WANT THE WORLD FOR HIM!!!

Annnnnnnd ending it off with this shot because omfg. Three things.

One, JACKIE AND ED GIRLS NIGHT REAL,,,

Two, Ed trying something "different" has me sobbing and throwing up. He just wants to be comfortable. He just wants to be HIMSELF. He just wants to stop PERFORMING AND MASKING.

Three, THE SWEDE AND JACKIE LMAO??? SWACKIE??? THE SWEDE LOOKING SO INCREDIBLY HOT??? THEY WERE NOT LYING WHEN THEY SAID EVERYONE WAS GOING TO BE HOT SHDJKSD

anyway, if you made it this far, then bless you and your resilience LMAO. but also if you made it this far, you're probably just as excited as i am. like, after this trailer, after seeing all of our darlings and seeing the silliness and seeing the interactions...

idk, i'm just feeling THAT much happier. i'm feeling THAT much more confident in our showrunners/cast/crew. and i cannot WAIT to continue feeling happy with all of y'all <3

18 DAYS AND COUNTING. CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HOW WRONG I AM LMAOOOO <333

[gunnrblze]

Kick x Hesh

NSFW, 2000k+ words, pt. 2 here

A lazy little thing for these two, idk what it really is lol but I love shipping them. Very teasing, very sappy sweet (it was actually supposed to be horny shit but I lost the plot like three times. will probably write something else actually smutty for them)

CW: no actual sex but mention of dick and what not, 18+ MDNI

Kick couldn’t quite explain it, but there was something intriguing about one of the newest young additions to the task force.

Hesh was a smart kid in his eyes. A damn good soldier, trained well and bred with enough ambition and determination for a lifetime. Not a kid, actually. A man. One he found himself lingering on for too long sometimes, amber eyes tracing the outline of Hesh’s biceps all the way down to the belt constricted around his waist. One whose voice made his stomach twist when it rang in over comms. One who had started to drive him up the wall.

It was that little grin that usually did him in. When the man would dote on Riley or joke with Logan, his mouth would curve up, and it made Kick’s heart stutter behind his ribs. He’d willfully ignored it for a while, until Hesh began talking to him more. Asking more questions, unnecessary ones, really. Kick didn’t mind, he could chat if the time called for it. But he couldn’t focus with Hesh standing over him at his desk. He had to will himself to look in those pretty green eyes instead of at the pretty mouth yapping over god knows what.

The worst part though, above all he reckoned, was the dreams he’d started to have about the man. Dreams of lips glued to one another, hands up shirts and mouths going down in directions they shouldn’t.

Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he stared at the sway in Hesh’s hips for too long sometimes. Maybe he shouldn’t admire the way his tac pants wrapped taut over those thick thighs, corded with muscle and littered with enough dark hair to make anyone salivate a little. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Or maybe Hesh just had a charm that could drag down even the strongest of men.

——————

“Hey man, have you seen Merrick? Got paperwork to do” Hesh would linger in the doorway of Kicks office. He didn’t even need to turn around to know it was the younger man before he spoke, and frankly he didn’t want to. Didn’t want to fuck up his focus, is what he decided on.

“Nah, probably lurking around here somewhere though” the amber eyed man shrugged, clicking at some bullshit on his desktop while his fingers curled around the mouse a little tighter than necessary. He’d curse himself for being so goddamn affected by the kid one day, all it took was that smooth, honeyed voice and he was no better than a sailor being dragged down by a siren at sea.

He could hear Hesh walk up behind him, no doubt eyeing said bullshit on his screen. Kick could smell him too and god, he thought he’d have to force the poor soldier out of his office before he did anything regrettable.

“Watcha working on?” Hesh asked with more intrigue in his voice than he knew the boy really had. He’d been doing that lately. Along with the questions of genuine curiosity he’d throw at him, Hesh would do exactly what he was doing now. Linger. Kick felt both lucky and psychotic about it.

“Workin on work, kid” Kick would reply easily, his free hand biting the nail off his thumb, a habit he couldn’t recall when he’d picked up as of late.

He could feel those mossy eyes on him as Hesh stood behind his desk chair, observing too intently at the way Kicks mouth moved over his thumb. He distantly wondered if the nearest insane asylum had any beds available, because he was certain he was being driven to madness.

“Ya know, Logan told me how gross it is to bite your nails, lots of bacteria-“ Hesh would start to ramble, and Kick wasn’t sure why he was still here, but he couldn’t complain. He’d never complain. It was just difficult to focus with a six foot one, brick wall standing behind you, the dizzying scent of his musk and something faintly pine scented filling his nostrils.

Kick let him rant, and he nodded, chuckling at Hesh’s insistence that he stop the habit before it gets worse. That he should find something else to chew on.

Goddamn himself for taking the whoreish route everytime, but his mind filled with so many other options of items he could sink his teeth into. Things he’d chew and bite and lick at until they were raw-

“Just saying, kinda gross if you really think about it” the soldier would cap his rant off with, reaching a hand around Kicks shoulder to knock his fingers away from his mouth. A grin would form on both of their faces, making the amber eyed man turn to look up at his office intruder, ignoring the way his heart flitted too hard at the contact.

“Don’t ya got something better to do than insist what goes in my mouth and what doesn’t?” He’d ask Hesh, and honest to goodness, he wasn’t sure if he could take the sight before him when he actually did turn around.

Wide grin on the man’s face as he chuckled deeply, the type that made his stomach lurch and his dick twitch a little. Staring down at him with those deep eyes and a comeback settling on the of tip of his tongue.

“Trust me, what goes in and out of your mouth is your business, not mine” Hesh would retort, making Kick smirk deeper than necessary as his mind filled in so many blanks. He debated for only a moment about whether or not he should voice those fill ins.

“Yeah? You seem to care quite a bit about my mouth” he’d settle for something cheeky enough as he swiveled around in the desk chair, thick arms crossing over one another as he faces the soldier now.

It made Hesh blink plainly for a second, a gear visibly turning in his head as the grin faltered for a moment. Kick worried for a second, if he should shut the fuck up and never speak again, but the blush that started to bloom on the man’s cheeks in front of him had his own mind stuttering.

“So what? Nail biting is a bad habit” Hesh recovered quickly, giving a perfectly pretend nonchalant shrug. Kicks brain geared into autopilot, unable to talk himself through whether or not he should bite his tongue now.

“Not biting them anymore…still concerned with the state of my mouth though, aren’t ya?” A little grin found its way on his lips, looking up at the man to admire the way the worsening pink of his cheeks contrasted against the green of his irises. The momentary widening of those eyes was just the cherry on top for him.

“No, just…just saying” Hesh would shake his head, and Kick could see the way his fingers dug into his thick biceps, curling around the firm muscle.

“Yeah? That why you’re still in my office instead of Merricks?” Kick would add swiftly, wondering how far he could take it. How far Hesh’s leash would run before he let himself detach from it, and hit Kick with the comebacks he knew the soldier wanted to give him.

The amber eyed man wasn’t stupid, he knew this wasn’t an equal playing field. That Hesh was younger, less experienced. Too dignified to let himself flirt with an older team member, one that outranked him regardless of actual rank. But Kick knew he wanted too. Wanted to test the waters with him because why the hell else would he still be here? Why would he linger so much? Why would he drive Kick crazy and then let him flounder? Why, why, why, would he let himself get worked up over the resident computer nerd of the bunch?

“Yeah” Hesh nodded, not very subtly biting the inside of his bottom lip as he gazed down at Kick, whose turn it was to be at a loss for words now. His eyes flicked to the open door of his office, and back up to Hesh, eyeing him down and ignoring the way his throat felt a little tighter all a sudden.

Hesh stepped a little closer to him, eyeing the man himself. The way Kicks thighs were spread in his desk chair, tactical shirt tight over his upper arms and shoulders, the delicious week old stubble on his jaw.

“What if…I did care?” He’d ask the operator below him with enough confidence to surprise them both, fingers in a vice grip around his own arms, crossed taut over his chest. Kick merely stared up at him, a smirk forming on his pretty mouth.

“What if you did, hm? Would that be so bad, kid?” Kick would ask, head tilting slightly as he felt his brain start to turn to molten lava at just the simple sight of Hesh biting his lip now.

“Would it?” The younger man asked a bit more seriously, voice deepening. Confirming all of Kicks suspicions. He didn’t want to get in trouble for this.

“No…” Kick answered easily, shaking his head softly. All he wanted was to reassure him, to run his fingers over his buzzed hair and kiss those pretty lips red until every worry drained from Hesh’s head.

“…wouldn’t be a bad thing at all” he was becoming less and less concerned with the state of his office door being open, trusting that he could rely on the sound of any footsteps down the hall to make him act more professionally than he was about to.

Kick stood up, stepping too close for comfort toward the soldier in front of him. His hand extended, cupping Hesh’s cheek with more tenderness than he usually exerted. He could feel the man’s jaw clench and unclench under his roughened fingers, and it made him smile. A smile that Hesh couldn’t help but return.

It was far more warm and inviting than Kick ever thought the world would allow him. Especially with someone who deserved that whole world in its entirety. Someone who deserved a world sweeter than the one he was given.

It became a blur as Kicks other hand cupped Hesh’s face, leaning in only halfway before the green eyed man reciprocated, lips pressing firmly enough to make both men weak in the knees.

Hesh was backed up into the wall behind him, boots squeaking against the linoleum flooring, his own hands flying to Kicks shoulders for support as their mouths fought for first place. One of Kicks hands slid down the man’s cheek to the back of his neck, grasp firm enough to belay his own need, the all consuming heat that was spreading throughout his body.

Sighs turned into groans, hips pressed flush against one another as both men fought to control themselves, all too aware of the open door, and the fact that they’re both very much on duty.

“God, this is even better than I thought it’d be” Kick rasped against the other man’s mouth, willing his dick not to harden up just yet. He could feel Hesh smirk against his lips, the soldiers hands leaving his shoulders to grip his hips with enough firmness to make Kicks knees even weaker, damn near threatening to give out on him.

Somehow Kick could hear footsteps coming down the hallway over the pounding of his heartbeat and the melting of his brain. He regrettably pulled himself off Hesh, catching a bit of oxygen as his eyes roamed over the man’s swollen red lips. A sight he wanted to sear into his brain.

The footsteps drew closer and Kick backed away from the wall, walking toward his office door to shut it before catching sight of Merrick ready to peer into the room.

Merrick immediately noticed Kicks equally disheveled state, but thankfully chose to ignore it, instead, asking if he knew where the lieutenant was. A moment of silent understanding passed between them, before he mentioned a little too loudly to tell Hesh his ass is due in his office if Kick just so happens to see him. Followed by what looked like an eye roll.

Both men fought not to laugh after Kick shut the door and put his lips right back where they belonged.

[shoukiko]

idk if your requests are still open (sorry if they aren't!! m(_ _)m) but if they are, could i get some headcanons for the ghosts boys? thank yoouuu (* ^ ω ^)

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES ANYTHING!!!!!!!! BARKBARKRBRAKBRAKBRAKRAKBRA

(I didn't know if I should write about Ajax and Elias or not;;;;)

Call of Duty: Ghosts Headcanons!!!

Keegan

He's good as his job, always getting shit done.

but oh my god is he a bad influence on you

"Want a shot?" "I'm not 21 yet, Keegan." "I asked if you wanted a shot, not how old you were."

On roadtrips he's never allowed to drive, but he will backseat drive. "You should take this highway instead" "I know a faster way" "If you go down this road you could probably reach it easier"

Snores when he's asleep, I feel like he may have sleep apnea or something like that.

HE'S REALLY LOUD TOOOO

Mumbling in his sleep if he's asleep in a chair

That's another thing, he can fall asleep literally anywhere. Chair? Yes. Under the bed? Yes. Under a table? Yes.

He has sharp canines, I don't make the rules. He uses them to open things

He LOVES your scent, he likes having just one thing of yours just to hold and have near.

I don't think he would call you Kid if he was interested in you, I think he'd stick with your name or "Hun". Unless you're older than him, then he uses generic shit like "Babe"

A man of a few words, he gives short answers, pretty blunt, but in text he will ramble on and on~

He likes writing, he finds that it's easier for him to process his words and gives him time to think.

Logan

Good boy, very good and well behaved boy.

Grown man, but good boy

He's actually really mischievous, they took a trip (The team) to Italy while on leave and when visiting the Tower of Pisa he offered to take Keegans photo.

Gesturing for him to lean, pose, scooch back, just so he can get the perfect photo.

Only for him to take it, snickering to himself because he made Keegan pose extremely far from the tower so the photo just looks silly.

Keegan had a good laugh about it, only after he put Logan into a headlock

He does the same to Hesh, always asking for some water, then being like "I didn't ask for this" so Hesh takes it back and when he comes back empty handed Logan is like "Water?"

He's very quiet, way more than Keegan.

He only gives nods or gestures, speaks when he needs to though, like in call outs and such.

He'd call you Love

Whispering sweet nothings into your ear

Can you imagine Cody Callahan doing that? Kill me plz

Hesh

HE HAS A THING FOR HANDS I JUST KNOW IT, I JUST KNOW IT YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!!!

HE LOVES HOLDING YOUR HAND AND JUST RUBBING YOUR FINGERS

YOU CAN FEEL HOW ROUGH HIS CALLUSES ARE

HE TILTS HIS HEAD WHEN HE LOOKS AT YOU BECAUSE HE IS JUST SO ENAMOURED WITH YOU

CAN YOU TELL I LOVE HESH, CAN YOU????

He's a gamer boy, console only. Xbox..... Don't argue with me (You can have your own I was /j)

Before shaving his head, he had a hairstyle similar to DJ Pauly D. Let's keep it shaved.

He refuses to have a mustache, just straight up refuses. He will shave the minute he sees it coming in.

Beard or Goatees are pushing it, but he shaves anyways (except the sideburns of course)

That man loves veggies, he's the type to just steam a bunch of em and that's his dinner. Literally just that.

He likes stealing food from you, picking from your plate. If you don't like something, you best believe he's there eating it for you

"David, I'm full" "Give it here, babe."

Merrick

His memory is impeccable

He will always rememebr your favorite things

He's not big on gift giving, but when he does give gifts they're incredibly thoughtful.

Drives a really beat down pickup truck

Calls it his baby girl

Don't judge him >:(

Resting bitch face, eyebrows always furrowed

But then he sees you and his expression softens because he just loves seeing you.

Has the heartiest laugh imaginable, slaps his knee when laughing too

Asks for help putting on his face paint :((((

He just wants a reason to be touched by you

Kick

Earbuds in 24/7 when not on a mission.

He needs music to function!!!

He's the type to put on some hardcore music and pretend he's fighting someone, like the people that imagine their own animation edit when listening to a song they like

He sneaks food to Riley sometimes, when they're all eating, he's the one throwing stuff on the floor for him

Unironically uses "COWABUNGA"

He's just a lil.... ya know... right? Just a little (He's gay)

Kinda short, like 5'6-5'8

Has ADHD

Wears insoles (hims feet hort)

I know he doesn't have a name, but his name is now Hunter Cameron and his last name is Miller

Has freckles and a chipped front tooth

That's all I got :3

for now :3

[cherries-in-wine]

SPOILER WARNING FOR AOT JUST SOME OF MY RAMBLES

English is not my first language please don't be mean okay thank you <3

honestly I didn't hate eremika as much as I thought I would- both of them are emotionally immature idiots who feel a lot but have no idea how to deal with said feelings. their relationship is definitely a lot of wasted potential but idk they are cute in their own imperfect and somewhat uneasy way. was that ending scene weird definetly but like eh gothic romance fan I've read and seen much worse things and called it peak romance so it's like weird but like okay also im very drunk slightly tipsy and I just finished aot just cuz I wanted to feel something and man I feel a lot of things also I think there might be a cultural difference too because in the west it's all like gulululu sloppy kiss gulululu fucking and like I grew up with old Bollywood romance where mfs don't even kiss so stolen glances and flushed cheeks and "ill always wrap your scarf over and over again" means wayyyy more than an infinite number of kisses. I get why people don't like it but yea I like them they are so fucking embarrassing and stupid. Eren's randi rona (hindi phrase exact translation is whore crying but semantics is probably bitch whining) was so funny and pathetic i've never laughed so hard but it is embarrassing in a way that makes so much sense for this suicidal maniac. I thought I would hate mikasa because I linger in the subreddits because social media kalesh and lafda is something I feed off of like a vampire sucking blood after escaping the coffin that held them for centuries (kalesh/lafda is hindi for fights) anyways so silly goofy fun idk what y'all are on about she's so kool not really a Mary Sue because she sucks at emotional intelligence and as a leader like definitely too driven by feelings but tbh I love that about her and her bond with other characters is so precious to me. I get why she's unlikable she is so flawed but idk I love her. the fanfic writers are so mean to her like oh my god why is she always this weird obsessed stalker that gets in the way of eren and y/n and historia is always someone y/n is insanely jealous of like please why can't we all be best friends and braid each other's hair

A little something about erehisu too- tbh I don't think its obsessive desperate fan behaviour like it's a very good ship imo. I have mixed feelings about it but idk lowkey makes sense. not in a "these people are great for each other and will be so cute as more than friends" way but more like a "oh wow they have a lot going on, they are good friends and the people they love are people they can't be with so it would make sense if they both are emotionally vulnerable enough that they end up doing something" kinda way. would've definitely made it more interesting because I thought sidelining a character like historia who had so much potential would hopefully have a bigger meaning and some greater part of Eren's plan but no bro is an idiot who has no idea what he is doing.

Mixed feelings about historia too- I liked her arc but the amount of plot armour that surrounds her kinda pisses me off. also the irl jaegerists and incels on reddit are so annoying they've made her into chaderen loser's trad wife who sits at home with the baby and shakes her head with a disapproving pout when he returns home after genocide like I know for a fact canon historia would be disgusted by this narrative. also oh my god the lengths these people go to prove that her relationship with Ymir was just a one sided obsession and not a lesbian romance is insane. like yea historia doesn't have to be lesbian she could be bi but that relationship was definitely mutual and romantic

I have sooo much more to say maybe when im sober ill organise everything and make it pretty but im in my senior year of high school with like no time on my hands so idk will see please stick with me but always thank u for reading meri jaan have a lovely day/night :))

[julians-boywife]

Hi fungers. Do NOT read this it's just me rambling about my funger 1 body hcs so I don't forget them. I love you ♡

Starting off with my wife, Cahara. I think he's medium height, shorter than Enki and Rag so like 175 cm. I think he'd be pretty tan and have a bit of a red/orange undertone. His hair is thick and wavy and it seems like he has made a decent attempt at taking care of it. On a similar not idk what kind of skin care and what not they had back there but he certainly takes care of his appearance. He needs to look good for his wife obviously.

This man is not as stinky as he looks. I'd like to think he showers daily but he can get rid of the candle and old book smell on his skin and clothes. He probably reads books in the bath. Anyway he is quite thin and malnourished but also has a fat ass and slutty waist??? Like why do you need that?? Also a bit taller than Cahara 180.5 cm or some shit idk I'm making it up.

This man is huge. Comically. 187.2 cm and jacked. Guys, you'll never guess who I find most attractive. Anyway, he is the idea of a Greek God body to me. He's tan like Cahara but has less color because he lives and breathes snow. Fat tits??? Yes um I think so. I'd also like to think he doesn't use soap when he washes himself but somehow isn't stinky. He just smells like ash and damp forest but it isn't bad.

.... 17 cm, uncut, red tip- 🔫💥💥💥💥 woah guys who said that haha what

My favorite girlfailure. I don't even like girls but I'd let D'arce fck the shit out of me. Anyway sorry about that. I'd like to think she's got a bit of a tan from training outside and freckles scattered here and there. She is strong woman and has a healthy amount of muscle and fat but her body is mostly lean. I am a tiny titty D'arce ENTHUSIAST and ACTIVIST. Justice for tiny titty girls I see you I love you. 168.5 cm I love her she's so dear to me.

STINKY !!!! UGGOO!!!!! sorry I have a raging love hate relationship with this fuckass. I think he looks really silly in his sprite for no reason lmao. Anyway this man is ETHEREAL just absolutely gorgeous. I wish Miro made him look more feminine in the game do girl Le'Garde justice. He defiantly only takes bubble baths like a fucking loser. He's 176.7 cm and is like weirdly insecure about not being taller?? I feel like if you jokingly called him short he'd throw a hissy fit.

Nosramus also looks really silly in their sprite oh my god. Honestly I think Nosramus is intersex and just refuses to choose either or. They're pretty pale from being away from sunlight for so long and have a yellow undertone. They are surprisingly not stinky and take care of themself somehow and it's unclear what access they have to water or soap. They just always smell clean no matter what.