#so idk how bad it’s gonna be come morning
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lightspren · 1 year ago
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i slammed my car door on my shin earlier. it is still throbbing. this is very annoying.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months ago
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#ugh. im so tried. why is crying so exhausting? i havent done anything. this is bullshit#we went from a slow motion breakdown to full on freakout meltdown today#luckily no one was around in the lab this morning bc i couldnt stop crying#so i went to the counseling center and made myself their problem#canceled my committee meeting. which everyone tells me is fine. its all fine#think about going home for a while they say. maybe tell ur dad ur having a bad time thry say#but im so tired. and i dont kno what to do and its all falling apart#i just feel like im brushing up against the limits of what i can do intellectually and its like well where do i go from here?#what do i do with my old data? how do i move my project forward? whats the point of any of this?#why did i put myself in this position? would taking a leave even help? id still have to come back to the same mess#its just so frustrating bc theres no solution ill find satisfying. everything just sucks.#idk what my advisor even told my committee. bc we were supposed to meet tomorrow morning. ugh. it would have been so bad#it also sucks bc im so drained that i can just feel my own weight when im trying to talk to ppl#like u kno when ur being a wet blanket but u dont kno how to fix it. like srry my vibes r wretched. maybe im just stuck like this#i dunno. my dad invited us home for a week in july and also plans to come out to visit me in August. but that seems like a long time away#i dunno what im gonna do. what a disaster#unrelated
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milo-is-rambling · 11 months ago
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I wish I had friends near meeeeeee to distract me from my brainnnnnnnnnn
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#need to talk to anyone irl who isn’t related to me or dating my mom or my therapist#anyone else near me please I’m losing my mind#nature isn’t healing me sleeping in a fully dark room all day isn’t healing me how do I magically fix this without having to put any work#into it oh I can’t oh u have to do the work okay how do I do that. therapy once a week. oh. okay. yup.#can I speedrun it? oh no? I can’t. oh damn. okay fine whatever. therapy once a week. AND I HAVE TO ACTUALLY LISTEN AND DO WHAT SHE SAYS. bro#what the hell okay fine#well here I am !!!!! where is the fixing where is the feeling better I feel like all I do is stir up all these touch emotions from every#part of my life at once and then she sends me off to rot for week before I come back and talk again#I just feel like I’m losing it!!!!! and ik it’s extra bad bc birthday countdown is on in my brain and im stressed and i feel like a huge#fuck up that can never be fixed and like I will die having done nothing with my life except weigh other people down and so exhausting and my#brain won’t ever shut up like yes I get it years and years and years of built up shit that I never properly dealt with and still hold blame#for constantly and I feel like I will never be fixed like I CANT be fixed like this is a losing battle and I just am struggling today man#idk what I was saying I just took my morning weed hit to try and relax my back a little and now my brain is like scrambled eggs#which is good that means it’s working#I’m gonna try to take a nap maybe cause I only slept four hours and it was like choppy thru the night and then maybe I’ll go to the lake#later I’ve been feeling the need to be in a body of water recently
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mostardently · 1 year ago
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yoohyeon · 1 year ago
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#tw negative#tw pet death mention#tw sick pet#puppy’s okay I’m just panicking but don’t read if it will hurt you but I need to talk to the void#I don’t wanna think about it but I feel like we slowly getting to Puppy’s last moments 😔#he’s pretty much the same precious little boy he is getting excited for us coming home snacks and every little thing that makes him happy#and he’s 13 so he sleeps a lot it dosen’t worry me#but he had stop coughing when we start giving meds but he’s starting to cough again#but not from to time he spend the last 3 days coughing a lot and sometimes during 15 minutes he’s coughing non stop#it was worrying me already but I heard him over my headphones 2 times in the last hour coughing but like he was not able to breath#or that it hurt even#he let out a cry and it breaks my heart#he dosen’t deserve this he’s such an angel and I love him so much idk what I’m gonna do without him#I’m about to go to sleep but I’m gonna worry to death#every morning I’m terrified to find him and it’s going to be worst from now on#unless it gets better but he’s already exceed the time he was suppose to be with us by months almost a year#having a pet is the best thing in the world but the end is terrifiying I lived through this once and it was horrible#but I’m such in a bad state mentally idk how I will get through this one#at least I have Sowon but I will not be able to help think that one day it’s gonna be her turn and it’s so bad#why can they live forever it’s so hard#he seem to be breathing good fine now he’s sleeping on his plushie and he looks so adorable :(#he also had a small seizure earlier so maybe he’s body is just tired but he’s still coughing way too much#I’ll try going to sleep now before I break down crying I’m already this 👌 close#and I’m exhausted anyway#I’ll need to distract myself good while I fell asleep 😭#Goodnight I hope tomorrow will be better 🖤#alex.txt
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gravegoer · 1 month ago
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How do you think sevika would react if her partner said the safe word? I NEED TO KNOW PLEASE
And i really love your work, thank you so much!!
Safeword 𓂃۶ৎ
thank you for the ask! and the complement, i dont know what your guys' safe word would be, knowing sevika it would just be safeword, nothing sexy, also funfact i usually write my captions before my fics so idrk if this is gonna hcs or a fic so a mystery for us both ig
masterlist , like 800 words idk i kinda hate this
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Sevika had a rough day, and it was obvious through the way she manhandled you that night, teeth marks strewn about your body, as well as light bruises.
You were starting to get more tired by the minute, hands barely grasping her back whilst she towered over her.
The sticky sweat on your body and the heat of the room started to get overwhelming, and you felt as if you might suffocate in the heavy air.
Her thick fingers were sloppily fucking your entrance, making you groan in overstimulation.
You lightly tapped her back, murmuring your shared safeword, before throwing your head back out of exhaustion.
Sevika would hesitate a bit before realizing what you said and coming to a stop. She feels a bit bad for her roughness and reaches to wipe a tear from the corner of your eye. (with not the coochie juice fingers)
Her lips that framed previously gritted teeth were now pressed together in a small pout.
She pulls you into her lap, your head now lulling onto her shoulder she runs a rough hand up your back and through your hair.
Her thick fingers untangle some of the knots she caused.
"Sorry. Are you okay?"
You hum in response, causing Sevika to furrow her brows, pulling your face from her shoulder. She plants a kiss, much gentler than before, to your eyelid.
This is the gentlest you've seen her all week (mostly because you haven't seen her much). Your interactions mostly consisted of a small peck or her ranting angerly about Silco.
Scooping you up, she carries you on her hip to the bathroom, running a wash cloth under warm water to rub down your skin.
Planting kisses down your neck, she mutters apologies into the bruises she left.
If you shiver from the coldness of the counter, she's immediately pulling you back into her, cradling you while she wipes your face with a damp hand.
She's taking her tie out of her hair to secure yours, pulling the uncomfortable stray strands from your face.
Although she does take a moment to admire your state, hair messy and lips swollen, looking up at her through lidded eyes.
Offering you a guilty smile, she carries you back to the bedroom, gently laying you atop the sheets.
Sevika tilts your chin up to pour cool water in your mouth, contrasting the hot kiss that comes after it.
She lets you lay atop her chest, offering her warmth as another apology.
And its definitely her turn to make breakfast in the morning.
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very short, whoops writers block threw multiple bricks at me and broke all my fingers so i cant write properly
taglist: @thequeenreaders @hangezoes-wife @thesecondhandwoman @slut4sevika @archangeldyke-all @kylorey25 @sylencr @jinxjinxjinx12 @morphids @aizawasbaeee @ariya13 @tiyawnyana
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nereidprinc3ss · 4 months ago
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do you believe me now? | 9
in which we find out how the morning after went for fem!reader. you finally share with spencer after unanticipated anxieties come up. you're continually shocked by his affection for you.
series masterlist
this series is 18+ (angst, fluff) warnings/tags: (preface none of the bad stuff is done by spencer) sexual harassment, slut shaming, non consensual voyeurism of sorts, blood + pain from losing virginity, talk of rape (nothing like that actually happens), implied nonspecific age gap (someone says he looks slightly older than you) non sexual nudity, showering together, intimacy, ewww being in love is embarrassing a/n: I honestly was not gonna post this today but I decided to bc it's just Tumblr its not that deep also you can probably tell I am just creating problems bc I don't wanna let go of them...... ik this is supposed to be a smutty series btw and trust good things come to those who wait!!!but anyways idk what I'm doing and I kinda hate this!! lolol!!!
Friday morning
The air is thick when you wake up—the angle of the sun through the window is lower than usual, and the binding weight of your limbs as you struggle to stretch in place all suggest that you’ve slept in. 
But you don’t check the time quite yet—for a moment, you simply lie there, studying the pattern on your ceiling, downloading the events of the previous night. 
Flashes of skin on skin, lips, breaths, whispers, promises. Phantom sensations. 
Was it even real?
Your apartment is deafeningly silent, you realize. And you have that sinking sense, which you can’t quite explain but know to be true—that you are alone. Spencer is gone. You can’t feel him like you’d be able to if he were simply on the couch or in the kitchen. He’s definitely not in bed with you, and the sheets have long gone cold. 
The truth of it renders about as slowly as your sluggish consciousness does, and you frown, not quite sure what to do with that information. Should you be angry? Should you cry?
Mostly you’re confused. 
As soon as you sit up, sore thighs and abs and a strange ache between your legs confirm that last night was not a dream nor a figment of your imagination. You’ll figure out what to do about your twinging body in a moment—for now you rub your eyes and blindly reach for the bedside table, knocking several things to the ground in your quest for your phone. 
It’s not there, you realize, once you actually try to use your eyes. It’s not in bed with you either as you pat the sheets, and it doesn’t materialize as you sit on your knees and shake out the comforter. 
From this venture, however, you learn two things. First, Spencer must’ve taken it upon himself to get you dressed last night, which you have no recollection of, but you doubt you sleepwalked your way into underwear and a big t-shirt; and second—you bled. 
It wasn’t something you were thinking about in the moment, but now, faced with all the evidence and none of the pleasure of last night’s activities, it’s jarring. A stark, unforgiving archipelago of red on a pristine sea of white. 
People say, at its best, sex brings couples closer. Spencer once told you it could facilitate feelings of deeper connection. But here you are, no longer a virgin, and what do you have to show for it? A stronger bond with your boyfriend? He’s not even here. 
All you have is this glaring red stain marring perfectly good sheets. It mocks you, like something you’ve dropped and can’t pick back up. You can’t think looking at it, and you need to think, and so in a fit of frustration you’re pulling the comforter onto the floor, leaning over your mattress and yanking the fitted sheet free. You ball it up in your hands, breathing heavily—and realize you bled through to the mattress. 
Wonderful. 
Spencer’s just at work, you tell yourself, grabbing the first pair of shorts you see and pulling them on before gathering the ruined sheet once more and stomping on aching legs through your apartment to the hallway, not even bothering with shoes. He can’t just play hooky because his clingy girlfriend lost her virginity and needs to be comforted like some previously celibate high school cheerleader.
But you miss him so much it’s making you angry, so much your eyes are stinging and welling with tears of frustration as you shove your bed linens down the trash chute at the end of your floor’s hallway. You’re supposed to be independent. That’s how you’ve always been. Since when does it bother you to wake up alone? It’s just sex. It’s not as big a deal for him as it is for you. Or for anyone. You’re the one overreacting, you’re the one who expects too much. He works for the FBI, for god’s sake. There are people dying, and here you are—
“What’chya got there?”
The gruff voice makes you jump, and you turn around just as the bundle is disappearing down into the hole in the wall. It’s your neighbor, Jerry—the one in the unit right next to you. You’re not happy to see him, especially like this. He’s got a blue 5 o’clock shadow despite the hour, and is clad in ill-fitting gray sweats and a pair of ratty slippers. His distended belly strains at the confines of an oil-stained white shirt, tied with a dingy checkered robe. You barely meet his drooping eyes before looking longingly back at your cracked door down the hall. 
“Just… garbage.” You shift your weight, hiding a wince as you try to find a comfortable position to stand in. Jerry notices this, and you wish his eyes wouldn’t linger on your bare legs like that. 
“Huh. Looks like someone had a late night.”
“Sorry?”
“It’s just noon and you’re still in your PJ’s.”
Disgusting. And who the fuck is he to judge? At least your pajamas are clean. 
You shrug. “Yeah.”
He scratches his bald head. 
“So that boy tired you out pretty good, huh?”
Your stomach drops. Your brain freezes. 
When you don’t reply, he takes the liberty of continuing on. 
“Saw him sneaking out of your apartment in the middle of the night. He looked a little older ’n you. You like ’em older?” His laugh is a cruel bark. “Yeah… He’s a lucky man. You know, it’s natural for a man to like a younger girl. Fresh meat, ’n all.” You try to speak and can only swallow a gag. Jerry adjusts his stance, hands in pockets like he’s telling you a local news story. “Heard some of it. Sounded like you were putting on quite the show. And sure, a young pretty thing like you? Hell, I would if I could. But I’ll tell you right now, you don’t wanna end up like my daughter. She wasn’t as pretty as you, but still—three kids with three men by the time she was 24. She should'a kept her damn legs closed. You know, she loved to cry rape, but you gotta ask yourself, if your legs are open all the damn time, what do you expect? Back in the day we all knew girls like that—” he bats the air dismissively. “Guess you can’t call ’em sluts anymore—they get what they’re asking for one way or another. See, I think everyone still knows it and they’re just too afraid to say it. So my advice: don’t let yourself get used up, you hear me? Not by men who are gonna ride you hard and put you away wet. So to speak. Men can smell a girl like that from a mile away, and they’ll take it as an open invitation. It’s just human nature.”
When he finally stops talking, the hallway fills with a vacuous silence. It makes your ears ring. Several moments pass, but you’re frozen. Your whole body feels intolerably hot but your blood is freezing. How are you supposed to react? 
“Hello?” He says, voice loud enough to hurt your ears as it echoes. 
Get out of here, your more rational self says to the rest of you, and you mumble something, you don’t even know what, excusing yourself to hurry on stiff legs back down the hall to your door. 
Once inside, you do up every lock on your door, and face your apartment, shoulders tensed practically to your ears and fists clenched so tight your arms are trembling. On autopilot you look around for something to do, but there’s nothing. More importantly, nobody.
I’ll call Spencer. He’ll know what to do. 
No, you won’t, your higher self reminds you. You lost your phone. And besides, it’s clearly not like he wanted to stick around last night. Maybe he doesn’t even like you anymore. 
So you’re stuck here. Stranded. Sharks can smell blood. 
Processing that information, you walk back to your bedroom and close the door behind you—before promptly sinking to the ground and burying your face in the duvet with a deep, silent sob.  
That goes on for a few minutes until you realize you’re too achy and you can’t breathe and you’re forced onto your side, curling up in your blanket on the floor like it’s a nest and not a burial plot. 
You shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. A relationship can’t implode twice in 24 hours.  You don’t have your phone. Maybe he’s texted you. 
But is that really all you’re worth? A text sent after the fact? He couldn’t sacrifice a few hours to sleep by your side? Couldn’t even wake you up to say goodbye? You think about the sweet things he’d said afterward—the way he held you, fingers dancing down your spine. Promises he made when you were half asleep in his arms, so sure he’d be there when you woke up. 
Even fucking Jerry the neighbor—who you think might have just sexually harassed you in the hallway—said Spencer should’ve stuck around. 
Fuck. 
No, don’t think about that. It doesn’t even matter. They were just words. 
Heard some of it. Sounded like you put on quite the show. 
Your skin crawls and your stomach turns as you hold yourself tighter. Something that was supposed to be private and special—and some random man not only had a front row seat to your deflowering but felt comfortable talking about it with you. It feels like a violation. Like he crashed a really important party. If you had known you had an audience last night, you never would’ve done it. 
The way he looked at you, tracing your legs with his eyes like he was touching you—
You scramble up from the floor and walk heavily on your knees to the dresser, digging up a pair of pajama pants and a hoodie. You should be showering, but you don’t want to deal with your body right now. You just want to hide. 
Friday evening—present
After your conversation, Spencer seems eager to make sure the car ride to his apartment is not reminiscent of the car ride to yours last night—he holds your hand, resting in your lap, bringing your knuckles to his lips at a red light. Every few moments he glances over at you, maybe to appreciate the view (though you doubt it’s especially scenic at the moment) or perhaps to gauge your mood. The further away you get from your apartment building the better you feel, and you try to focus on that. Sure—maybe you had a shit day, but Spencer’s here now, and he didn’t leave you after all. In fact, since finding your phone, you’ve seen the series of very sweet and highly concerned messages he sent over the course of a few hours. They almost make your stomach hurt. It would’ve been really nice to have those earlier. 
He doesn’t ask you any more of the hard questions, but you sense an inquisition in the works and getting closer with every curious glance he gives you. It’s like he’s unwrapping you, layer by layer, using his impressive cognitive faculties to drill through your skull into your brain and deeper still into your soul. 
Back in his apartment you sit awkwardly on the bed. Last time you’d been here, things hadn’t gone so well for you. 
The shower starts in the adjoined bathroom, and Spencer comes out a moment later, warm light seeping into the darkened bedroom. Purple and dark blue mixing with yellow, like a bruise. 
“Hey. Water’s warm.”
You hum, smoothing the material of his neatly made bed with your palm and watching the way it flattens. That had been your doing. You may have thought he was on the verge of breaking up with you last time you slept here, but you didn’t want to leave his home a mess. Didn’t want to leave any evidence of your having been here. 
A moment passes. You thumb at a thread and don’t look up. 
Spencer crosses the space without a word and crouches in front of you, hands coming up to cup the back of your legs, running knee to ankle and up again. 
“Can you tell me what’s going on? Please?” He asks softly. His voice wrings your heart out. Now that you’re in a completely different space, and you’re not so alone anymore, you’re struggling to sort out your feelings. It should be fine. You’re with Spencer. Presumably he still loves you. 
And you still feel terrible. 
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you whisper. 
“I know,” he says, just as quietly. 
Spencer doesn’t say anything else. I know you don’t want to—and yet. Your lips twist to the side. He’s persistent. Even in his kindness. It’s not the kind of care that falters or buckles when you try turning it away. 
“My neighbor said he c—” 
You’re forced to stop, frowning by how overcome you are. It shouldn’t be such a big deal. Worse things have happened to you. 
“He said he could hear us. Last night.”
Spencer’s hands stop on your legs. You can’t meet his eyes. You’re afraid whatever you find there won’t be the right thing. 
“He’s in the unit next to you?”
You nod. “We share a wall.”
There’s a moment’s hesitation and your stomach sinks. He doesn’t understand. 
“What did he say?”
“Just… dumb shit,” you scoff, fiercely wiping away a stray tear. “He said he listened and it sounded like I was putting on quite the show. And then he—and then he told me not to let you… use me up, whatever that means. He called me fresh meat, and said I shouldn’t let you ride me hard and put me away wet, and bad things happen to sluts who can’t keep their legs closed.”
You finish with a sharp inhale, briefly leaning down and covering your face with your hands when you realize how upset you really are. You want to hide it. 
A fraught moment passes. Spencer reaches for your hands, no doubt to try and pull them away from your face. You spare him the trouble, sitting up with a cavalier sniff before he can touch you and brushing your hair behind your ears.  
His voice is uncomfortably quiet. You can’t look at him. “Baby…”
“Don’t. It’s fine. I only told you because you asked.”
It’s not his fault, but you’re mad at him anyway, and so you avoid eye-contact like it’s the plague. Maybe it’s just safe to be mad at him. Maybe he knows that. 
Regardless, you’re not in the mood for coddling. It’s borderline repulsive—like trying to mix oil and water. Anything good slides right off of you because maybe you’re not designed to be able to absorb good things.
Nothing changes for a minute—and then he’s standing, offering you a moment alone as he goes to crank the shower off. 
As soon as he’s gone all the air is vacuumed from your lungs and you crumple, heaving it back in silently as your head spins and your heart races. It’s like your mind is split in two—half is primal, overwhelming panic, and the other a cold observatory eye, full of disdain and scorn for what it deems a severe overreaction to a few nasty comments made hours ago. You’re so tangled up as you curl in on yourself on your side that you can’t even cry. You’re just trying to remember how to breathe, ignoring the crawling feeling up your spine and the tingling heat at the back of your neck. The shower stops on the downbeat of your staggered breath, and then it’s silent. He’ll come back at any minute and see what a mess you’ve become. 
You’ve ruined everything. If only you could’ve kept it to yourself. 
When Spencer reappears in the doorway, and sees you collapsed and curling like paper burnt at the edges, he’s quick to return to you. 
“I’m sorry,” you manage, trying and failing to brush away hair from your cheek, which is wet—so you were crying—and Spencer shushes you, pushing it away for you as he kneels. 
“Why are you apologizing?”
“I’m being dramatic, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Of course, at the end of that declaration, a sob wrenches its way from the depths of you, so bright and cleaving you half expect the smell of ozone to follow. You follow it with a blisteringly self-deprecating laugh.
“Don’t—don’t do that. Don’t minimize it.”
His hand is warm where it rests over your cheek, affectionate, but he sounds frustrated. You frown and sniffle. 
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Tell me his name.” 
It’s a quiet request, made as gently as his hand cards through the hair at your temple like it’s woven with fragile threads of gold.
“No, Spencer,” you beg, anxiety pooling in your gut and rising in your throat, “please, I don’t want to make it a thing, I don’t want you to talk to him. You’ll just make it worse, it’s fine.”
You look at him imploringly, eyes wide and still welling, hoping to god the gravity of your plead will sink in. His are a bed of coals—somewhere between furious and sympathetic, and you try to appeal to the sympathy. 
“It is not fine. Saying sluts get what’s coming to them is not fine, that is a threat, and I’m not going to talk to him. I’m going to have him fucking arrested.”
You scoff. 
“For talking to me? Yeah, good luck with that. Cops are really known for being helpful when it comes to sexual harassment.”
“Baby. Men who are comfortable violating your boundaries like that are exponentially more likely to commit an actual violent crime. That is not a safe person for you to be around.”
“He’s not gonna rape me, Spencer! He’s just a gross old man! This is why I didn’t want to tell you, because I knew you’d make it a bigger deal than it is! You did it last night and you’re doing it now—you think everyone is out to get me!”
To his credit, he doesn’t so much as raise his voice. 
“Of course it’s a big deal. You’re upset.”
“Yeah, well, it’s my own fault.”
Maybe it’s the wrong thing to say. Spencer goes silent for a moment. 
“It’s your fault?”
“Yes. It’s my fault because… because now everyone knows that I’m…”
His voice goes impossibly soft again. “Knows that you’re what?”
“I mean, what did I expect?” You sniffle. “It’s an apartment. If I didn’t want to deal with the consequences, I shouldn’t’ve done it.”
He says your name like it’s a ring he twists around his finger as he tries to think—to gather the right words. 
“The consequences for having sex do not involve punishment or sexual harassment.”
“It’s the result of my actions, so—”
“No, it’s the result of your neighbor being disgusting. I don’t care what he heard, he doesn’t get to talk to you like that.”
“He—”
“If you heard something you weren’t supposed to hear would you bring it up to the person the next day?”
“Stop interrupting me,” you plead. Spencer looks like he has something to say to that, too, but he swallows it. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. “I… understand that he shouldn’t have said those things to me. But that doesn’t change the fact that he did, and it was really, really uncomfortable and I don’t wanna—I don’t wanna go back now. Maybe that’s dramatic, but…”
You trail off, studying the ceiling as a fresh wash of tears dampen your cheeks. Spencer’s hand slides down your waist as you wipe your face. “I don’t regret the fact that we slept together. I just regret everything that’s happened since, and if I didn’t do it last night, none of this would’ve happened. I feel like he ruined everything.”
The words end on another cry and you put your hand over your eyes like you could stop it all from coming out. You sniffle. Spencer is quiet for a moment. 
“I’m sorry,” he eventually whispers, his own voice threaded with emotion. “I…”
He sighs. You push your hair back and look at him. 
“What?”
He studies you, chewing on his lip like a nervous tick you’ve never seen before. You sit up again, feet balanced on the edge of the bed frame. Spencer’s eyes remain stuck on you. Again, you ask, “What?”
“I didn’t think about it until you brought it up earlier, but—I did see someone. Him, I think, when I went out to my car to get my bag. He was smoking when I came out, and when I got back into the lobby he was waiting for the elevator. We took it up together, he—he said something to me, so I know he saw me going back to you. I don’t know why he made it sound like I left.”
You frown. “What did he say?”
Spencer hesitates. 
“He asked if I had a long night. He was obviously commenting on the fact that I was basically half-dressed and getting an overnight bag from my car at one in the morning, so he could probably gather from context what was going on, but… my point is, he knew I came back and it seems like he was almost trying to make you think I didn’t. So for whatever reason, maybe he was lying about being able to hear you, too. Maybe he just wanted to make you uncomfortable.”
“That’s a long shot, Spencer.”
“I know, but… it’s not that long. He obviously gets off on it—and besides, he said you were putting on a show, but you weren’t… you weren’t loud, last night.”
Heats blossoms in your cheeks and you look down at your lap. “Thin walls.”
“Have you ever heard your neighbors before?”
You have to seriously think about it. 
“I’ve heard them yelling…”
“Nothing else?”
Again, you consider it. The answer comes as a surprise. 
“No.”
“Okay, so… does that maybe help a little bit? I really, really don’t want you to feel like last night was a mistake in any way, or let anyone ruin it for you.”
You breathe deeply. “I know. It… it kinda helps, yeah.”
His hands come to the top of your legs. There’s so much genuine care and concern in his eyes. “Yeah?”
Only when you nod does he relax some. His hands skim your thighs, and you set yours on top of his own. For a few breaths, it’s quiet. And then you laugh. 
“What?” Spencer asks, a tentative smile curling his own lips like he doesn’t know if he should be concerned or participate in your mirth. 
“I—I don’t know how to say it without being cheesy,” you admit, sniffling the last of your tears away and smiling softly down at him. 
“I think you should say it.”
You link your fingers with his on your lap, watching the way they twine like it’s what they were meant to do. 
“I was just thinking about how I had, like, the worst day ever. And how much worse it would’ve gotten if you didn’t show up when you did—I would’ve completely spiraled. But you did show up. And how easy it is to kind of compartmentalize, because I have you, and when I’m with you… nothing feels as hard. You make the bad things feel smaller, I guess.”
By the end, it got a lot more real than you’d intended, and your face feels warm, and your stomach is sort of floaty—but you don’t look away from Spencer. You hold his gaze, though it makes you a little nervous, because you want him to know you mean it. 
He inhales, like he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t—only looks at you, like you’re beautiful and impossible and a defiance of everything he thought he knew, which was almost everything. To him, you’re expansive. A gorgeous anomaly.
And then he stands, holding his hands out for you. Without question you take them, and he pulls you to your feet, absorbing the momentum that threatens to topple you, and he wraps his arms around you tightly. So tight you have to laugh. 
“I love you,” he says against your shoulder, one hand coming to cradle the back of your head. 
Your humor softens, but doesn’t become inflexible—still tinges your words with the perfect amount of euphoria and relief. “I love you.”
“Thanks,” he mumbles, and your laughter flares again. 
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“But I’m grateful. I… I feel lucky.”
Always so earnest, so vulnerable, when you’re least expecting it—which should be always, you’re learning. You pull back to look up at him. You don’t want that concession to go unrewarded. 
“Me too,” you say softly. He’s doing that fond thing with his eyes, where they’re all soft and it’s like he’s trying to take in every millimeter of your face. This time when he goes to touch your hair, you have the wherewithal to dodge it. 
“You’re really brave for trying to touch my hair right now.”
“Why?” He asks, utterly bewildered, and the softness of the moment falls away easily, but not without leaving everything smudged and fuzzy around the edges. Everything is still okay. It’s still good. 
“Because it’s dirty,” you laugh, dodging him again and eventually ducking from the circle of his arms entirely. 
“Oh, your hair is dirty? Should we breakup?”
“Hm. I don’t really like when you take on that tone with me.” You’re still half-laughing, dipping and weaving past him toward the bathroom as he tries to get you in his arms again. And then you stop, toes just short of the tile. 
“What is it?” He asks after another moment. You blink, looking at the shower head as it drips. 
“Um—would it be okay if I had a five minute headstart in the shower?”
“Sure. Is everything okay?”
“It’s fine. I just… I need a minute.”
His hand skims your waist as he passes by you through the open door. “Okay. Why don’t you grab your stuff and I’ll get the water going again?”
Soon enough, you’re remembering how much better his water pressure is than yours as you stand under the torrent, eyes closed as if in prayer. You definitely could’ve stood to shower earlier in the day. But you had other concerns, earlier, and besides—you were afraid of what you might find. 
And you were right to be. The sex was nice. The aftermath isn’t quite as pretty. 
When Spencer taps on the bathroom door, you’re nervous. 
“You can come in,” you call. 
“You sure? If you want it all to yourself, that’s okay too.”
“No, no. It’s fine.”
The door creaks open, and gently clicks into place again, and fabric rustles as he undresses, and soon the shower curtain is sliding aside and he’s stepping in. Unsurprisingly, the space feels smaller with him in it—but not small in a bad way. It feels warmer. Again you’re awash in that safe feeling, which you didn’t realize you’d been missing so much today. 
“Hi,” he smiles, a teasing sliver of what you know to be the most brilliant light in the world, and stunning like the rest of him as you watch the water begin to darken his hair. 
“Hello.”
His smile flickers briefly wider like you’re his favorite thing and he just can’t contain his joy, and then it’s easing again, giving you a moment to catch your breath. 
“Is it okay if I touch you?”
In this alien context the idea has your heart pounding—you don’t really understand the concept of casual nudity yet, but you know he’ll respect your earlier wishes to keep it chaste and so you nod. 
Spencer doesn’t take you immediately in his arms like you’d expected—instead his hands find a rest at your collarbones and carefully push your wet hair back over your shoulders—but his eyes aren’t cast quite low enough to be indecent. They connect dots over your chest and neck, and he thumbs at one just over your pulse point. 
“Oh, man,” he laughs, and you think you detect a hint of self-deprecation. “That’s… wow, I didn’t realize I… sorry. They don’t hurt, do they?”
It’s your turn to smile as he’s suddenly over-concerned. 
“No, they don’t hurt.”
“Good.” He looks relieved, but it doesn’t last as his eyes trace lower—though you don’t sense any hunger in it. He’s just taking you in. “How about everywhere else?”
“Um… it’s not bad. Kind of, like… I don’t know. Sore. But it’s not bad.”
“Still?” He frowns, clearly unfazed by your evident embarrassment on the subject. You shrug and avert your eyes. 
“It’s fine. it was worse earlier, so.”
That does not have the calming effect you’d intended. 
“Worse? 1-10, how—”
“Spencer, it’s fine, I promise. It’s only when I—when I move certain ways, I notice. Honestly the… blood… was way more disconcerting to me.”
“Yeah, I saw your bed… sorry for ruining your sheets. I’ll buy you new ones.”
You shrug, watching the water run in rivulets down your arm and branch off into tributaries and waterfalls from your fingers. “You don’t have to do that. It was a collaborative effort.”
Normally this conversation would have you melting into an embarrassed puddle, but something about the tile cocoon of the shower, the humid fog, the proximity, feels safe. The white noise of water on porcelain, the warmth. You go to him at the same time as he comes to you—his arms around your waist, yours slung over his shoulders. Your eyes flutter shut. Falling asleep standing up has never seemed so plausible until now. 
He presses a kiss to your head. You sigh. 
“Ugh. I don’t want to deal with washing my hair.”
“I can do it,” Spencer immediately offers. You frown. 
“I was—you don’t have to. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was asking.”
“I know you didn’t.”
“It’s a process.”
“I understand.”
“You would have to do it exactly how I say.”
“I am willing to learn. I like taking care of you.”
You’re glad for the hot water, then, and as he washes your hair. You’re not sure if you’re crying at the tenderness of his touch, or the way he loves you like you’re easy to love. You’re too tired to explain it. 
He doesn’t push you, because he never pushes you. 
He just washes your hair. 
-
part ten
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cranberrydietcoke · 1 month ago
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𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 - 𝘭𝘶𝘪𝘨𝘪 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦
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heavily inspired by this post by @subtlehums
content: 18+, lore accurate luigi, cigarettes, mentions of prescription drugs, guns, L word, established relationship, unprotected p in v, riding, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, kinda emo but fluffy but smutty, he’s so tragically beautiful idk i hope this does him justice
wc: 2.1k
a/n: i am a woman possessed. he is all i think about like its bad. shout out the girlies who found my blog thru tiktok comments lmaooo enjoy
psa: he is innocent until proven guilty! this is a fictional, hypothetical situation in which he did do it.
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“𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁. 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗱, 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝗲𝘁𝗿𝘆, 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿, 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺, 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗻. – 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱.” - tweeted by @ pepmangione, may 1st, 2024.
you missed hawaii. that tiny apartment for just the two of you seemed impossibly big now, as you imagined the sunlight weaving in through the windows, casting shadows of waves onto the kitchen tile. you missed that kitchen, sharing coffee in the mornings before work, baking together. you missed the way the island held you both, lush and warm and predictable. the late nights, the conferences, the schedule – it’s funny how everything always seems so simple in hindsight. he had a way of making it clear he knew best, and you’d stopped arguing years ago. so, when he said to pack a bag for the mainland, you didn’t question it. you trusted him with a kind of faith that went deeper than any earthly explanation could offer.
the frosty breeze whips by you as you step out onto the fire escape of the hostel, headlights and billboards illuminating the city below. you could hear luigi’s furious typing from the chair inside over the sound of honking horns and screeching tires, occasionally pausing to reread it back to himself and flip through the starched pages of the book he’d been in for days. the eraser of the pencil he annotated with was gnawed to damn near nothing. the flick of your lighter shook him from his focus, snapping his head to watch as you wrapped yourself in your fur coat and brought a cigarette to your lips with deep red manicured nails.
“that’s gonna kill you, y’know that right?”
and he was right. not that it made a difference. six months ago, the thought of smoking a cigarette would’ve seemed absurd. now, it almost felt inevitable, like the distance between who you were and who you are had blurred and widened into a festering chasm.
 and yet, here he was – the one steady thing in your life, lounging in the peeling leather of the black desk chair, eyes meeting yours like nothing else mattered. the air inside was thick, saturated with things unsaid. tomorrow would inevitably come, but that seemed irrelevant compared to the man in front of you. you crouched with bent knees, weight balanced on the balls of your feet as you blew out thick spirals of smoke, teetering on the tip toes of your flats with each gust of wind.
“lu,” you strain through quick puffs, tapping a nail to the lit stick, causing ash to fall through the metal bars that held you up and onto the concrete of the new york sidewalk. “please.”  you scoff, lash-lidded gaze lingering over him through the open window, a look that he couldn’t bring himself to argue with. you were the fracture in the foundation of his carefully constructed logic, the one thing he couldn’t solve.
 the first time he saw you at some hazy phi psi social in undergrad, something in him just…stopped. a whirlwind of wild dark hair with an unapologetic laugh that was too loud for the space but too beautiful to be mad at. you spoke with precision, arguing like someone who had points to make, yet there was a strange charm about you, an effortless grace. he had to have you. he assumed that bringing you to maryland for holiday break would be overwhelming, that the sheer volume of his family would cause you to tone yourself down. instead, they welcomed you as one of their own, perhaps because your bold opinions and high standards mirrored theirs. but that was a lifetime ago – before the pandemic, the accident, the surgery. before everything splintered into what it is now.
his puffy, purple-ringed and exhausted eyes follow you as you climb back into the warmth, slamming the window shut and shedding your coat. resting his elbows on his knees, he brought his hands to drag down his face with a deep, weary sigh, letting them fall to his denim-clad thighs with a slap. motioning you over to him with a nod of the head.
brass casings littered the floor, the bed a mess of neon monopoly bills - scattered in the dingy sheets like confetti after some great gatsby party. you’d been holed up in that room for a week now, and his restless energy was palpable. it wasn’t like his stress was something you’d never seen before. in fact, it was normal after all these years. but this. this was a different level. completely enrapturing, not only mental, but physical.
 you slip off your shoes with a soft thud on the floor. your steps are slow, deliberate, as you meander toward him, eyes heavy with sympathy. three sleepless nights had made his face hollow, and he’d refused every pill you’d offered – hydros, oxys, anything to subside the pain. you stand in front of him, positioned between his spread legs. his hands reach to meet your plush hips, each digit pressing firmly into your skin, grounding himself in your presence.
when al pacino said the eyes never lie, he was completely correct. luigi’s were sullen, dark, angry. pleading for help, for recognition. you lift a hand to cradle his cheek, tracing over the stubble that wasn’t there when you left hawaii. wordlessly, you sink to your knees on the warped wood of the hotel floor, looking up into his big brown eyes. your fingers trace a slow path from the curve of his jaw to the firm plane of his chest, before settling your palm on the denim of his thigh, smoothing it up and down his leg. you tilt your head, letting your temple rest gently against his knee.
“i love you, lu,” you spoke in a near whisper against him, gaze fixed on nothing in particular, thoughts somewhere far away. “i just wish shit was different.”
“i know baby, i know,” he answered without hesitation, cooing down at you and bringing a meticulous hand to brush the mess of hair from your face. “we’ll be back home soon, i jus- i have some stuff to take care of, love, you know that.” his voice softened as he looked down at you, coaxing your glassy eyes up to his steady stare. with a subtle touch, he grabbed your chin between his thumb and index fingers, lifting your face to meet his. only inches way, you felt the heat of his breath on your lips, drinking it in.
“i know this isn’t who you fell in love with, n’ i’m sorry. i-i’m a fucking shell,” he rambled, bobbing his head with each word, eyes darting around each feature on your face.
“this world, me, everything, is a fucking lie.” he spat, “just t-touch me so i know that i’m real.”
his eyes were wide and manic, brow furrowing as if every thought, every word, was a battle being played out behind those unblinking, shifty eyes. your mouth hangs open, and every part of you seems to be falling into him, melting in his touch. your eyes are unfocused and glazed over as they follow his, drunk off the very essence of him.
“fuck me so i know that i’m real. i’ve been dying to know if i am.”
heady puffs of breath fell against your face with each word, his eyes drifting down to your glossy pout. he ran his tongue up the curve of your parted lips, a tiny gasp escaping them, your eyes never leaving his. it was perverted almost, urgent and depraved. without thinking, you curl your tongue out, meeting and circling his without your lips even touching, saliva dripping onto the floor below. his hands grasp at the sides of your head, pulling you in closer as his tongue forces its way past yours, lips crashing together in a heated kiss. he stands you both up with a swift movement, each kiss growing deeper, more consuming, as he guides you backward onto the bed.
you can’t help but whimper into his mouth through the soft, wet smack of your lips that fills the room as he lays you on your back, pinned by the wrist in a pool of pink and orange paper money. hot, hungry kisses trailed down your neck and across your chest, his hands firm as he peeled off your white tank top. your fingers roamed over every inch of him – gripping a handful of curls, your palm finding the small of his neck to pull him closer. softly, your hands slid over the hard lines of his shoulder blades, tracing the muscles beneath his skin. for a split second, it felt like undergrad again – fooling around on that tiny twin bed, stealing kisses between whispered laughs and desperately hoping that none of the boys in the chapter house heard you.
“baby, sit back,” you murmur, craning your neck and biting into your lower lip as he licks spirals into the sensitive skin, sending a chill down your spine. with a smirk, he flips over to settle onto the edge of the bed, fidgeting with the cold metal button of his levi’s and squirming out of them. the print of his length pressed through the thin fabric of his boxers as you hook your fingers in the waistband, tugging them to fall around his ankles. you shimmy out of your leggings and black lace panties, leaving them in a crumpled heap on the hardwood.
letting a stringy drop of spit fall from your lips, you work and twist your hands over him, whimpers and pants making his chest fall and rise, head lolling back as you plant tiny kisses on both thighs. turning around with bent knees, hips between his legs and feet flat on the floor, you sink down onto him inch by inch, whining incoherently as it stretches you out.
his hands on your sides, thumbs running down the valley of your spine, molding you like pottery as he guides you up and down. the tips of your fingers balance on the floor as you gently bounce and roll your hips, stuffing yourself over and over again on his cock.
“f-fuck – mine, all fuckin’ mine,” he spoke breathlessly, watching your drooly hole take him in with little plap plap plap’s, the fat of your ass recoiling as his length disappeared into you. his grip tightened on your sides, and you felt his legs getting wobbly under your stabilizing hand. “my girl, my good fucking girl…” he spoke absently, almost to himself, each syllable dripping with lust. appreciation. worship, even.
“god, fuck – please.” you babble, whipping your hair back to steal a glance at him from over your shoulder – all focused and blissed out, slack-jawed as he groped and pawed at the lower contour of your ass, spreading open the sticky mess and watching with wild, amazed eyes at the way you wet him up.
“what, baby? want it inside? yeah?” he panted out with squeaky desperation, lower stomach tensing and turning as you gripped and slid over him. “wanna get pregnant, huh, the way you’re takin’ it – fuck!”
his thrusts got sloppy, breath hitching in his throat and translating to desperate whines as he pumped you full. even if he didn’t come back tomorrow, if you never saw him alive again, he was determined to leave you with a little permanent piece of him. bringing a strong, warm palm to the small of your lower back to slow down your pace and push you off of him, he fell back onto the bed with a sigh, rattling the bed frame with the impact. ribbons of thick, opalescent seed seeped from your hole, all fucked open and raw.
laying together, swimming in those hotel sheets, the cold touch of fingerprints tracing numbers and letters into your thighs. truly believing you both had nothing to lose, even though that was far from the truth because you had each other. the shrill sound of wind against windows was stomach-churning compared to the familiar crash of the ocean, and you’ve accepted that you’ll probably never see that apartment again. even if you did, it wouldn’t be the same. but, you trusted him. believed in him, his capability, his intelligence. holding onto that tiny sliver of hope that told you everything would be okay, he would be careful, come home unseen and unscathed. those worries were reserved for the future version of you, one that could carry the weight of tomorrow in the daylight. all of it – the pain, the planning, the uncertainty – was beside the point now. all that mattered was the shelter of his lingering touch, quieting the rest of the world, only if for a few more hours.
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avianyuh · 2 months ago
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Kim Mingyu as a boyfriend...
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I feel like people naturally gravitate towards Mingyu
And that's for many different reasons
He's always given off the impression that he's a kind person
The way he treats his members (basically his brothers at this point)
The way other people act around him
Idk I've just always gotten the impression that what you see on camera is most likely what Mingyu is like off camera
He's just a real dude living that "idol" life
So anyways...
What would it be like to date Mingyu?
Well first off all, I think he'd make you laugh
A. Lot.
A literal ray of sunshine
Mingyu is an extrovert
Extroverts get a lot of their energy from being around other people
I'd see him acting all happy, trying to wake you up in the morning
Kissing your face all over, whispering, "Wake up."
Of course with that infamous smile on his face
Or picture going out to eat with him.
Sitting at the table, picking food off of each other's plates, just talking about your day
Or going to different things together, like parties
And he's navigating through the crowd, holding your hand tightly in his own, never letting go of it
Oh, imagine the hugs he'd give?
He's so tall so it'd feel like you're being enveloped into his warm, *muscular*, embrace.
You'd probably meet Wonwoo first considering the fact that they live together
I see Mingyu as the type to really help you out when it comes to social situations
If you were a little shy around his members when you first met them, he would always be by your side, making jokes and trying to get you to feel comfortable and fit in
Because he cares about you, and he wants you to become as close with his members as he is
Another trait of Mingyu's is that he gets flustered when he gets complimented
He appears to be a really confident person, but I do think that deep down, praise is something he might not necessarily e used to hearing
Like don't get me wrong, I'm sure that he's aware of the fact that he's a hot man...
But even the hotties have their days where they need some encouragement
So when you compliment his hair, or his outfit
You can see how his cheeks turn red and he starts to nervously laugh
"What? Mingyu I think you should wear that color more often!" you'd laugh as you watched Mingyu cover his face, peeping in the mirror in front of him to see if you were telling the truth.
As with most of my BF headcanon posts, I'm sure Mingyu would be counting down the days until he felt like the relationship was serious enough to introduce you to his family
And he'd really try to make sure you meshed well with them too, just like with the members
Anyways, back to more of his litlte habits
Mingyu would be the type of boyfriend that would do something stupid just to make you smile or, even better, laugh if you were having a bad day
It legitimately breaks his heart to see you upset
Would have beef with anyone who hurt you
You got in a fight with your friend, but you resolved it? Mingyu tolerates her, but deep down, he hates her now
But he'd never tell you that because he doesn't want to overstep
But if you and that friend ever got in another fight, the minute you'd try to vent to Mingyu he'd blurt out;
"I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON WHY I NEVER LIKED HER!"
And you'd be like: 👀
But speaking of friends...
I think he'd constantly be talking about you
In his friend group
With the other members
He'd become that guy where someone would ask him what he did over the weekend or on his day off and he'd turn the conversation into a 30 minute conversation of why you'd be the best perosn to travel with or something
Remember how I said Mingyu is always there beside you to back you up?
Well, even if you aren't with him, he's always going to hype you up if he mentions you
Another trait of his that comes to mind is his cooking skill
Word on the street is that Mingyu can chef it up
So let's say you don't feel like going out that night
No problem, Mingyu's gonna make you some good home cooking
And he's say something stupid like how the food is "infused with his love."
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*Ahem*
If you're a frequent reader, you know what time it is...
Shexy Shtuffffff
GURL
Have you seen those arms?
Yes? Well I'm gonna show you a pic anyways
Just so we have a visual element involved
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What's that doja cat song? Where she talks about that wrestling position lmao
omg let me shut up
Okay, for him I see a lot of physical affection
A lot of making out
Kisses would be his version of eye contact
A lot of caressing your face
He's pretty athletic, so I could see him having high stamina
Like, I don't see you being able to retire for the night after one round with him unless he's really tired from work
Would probably be loud in bed
But I don't see him as a risk taker when it comes to stuff like location
So you'd be getting freaky ONLY in the sheets
Or maybe the shower
Here's my thought process:
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Maybe if he knows no one's around he'd do you on the couch if you were watching something and he was getting turned on
But I mainly see him as the type to do the foreplay on the couch or in the kitchen
Or maybe if you guys are out somewhere and he's starting to get a little frisky
He'd be he type to rush home just so you could have sex
Um, and if you've seen that man, enjoy and congratulations
_
TAGS: @minvxq *I remembered!*
_
{A/N: Hiiiii. I know it's been a month but the winter season has me DEPRESSED. I had a pretty hectic end to my semester. A lot of work all at once but I'm officially on my winter break now and my brain can finally feel like it has a break ,which means I had the mental clarity to write again. I thought a head canon would be a good way to ease back into writing, so I hope you guys like it. This one was requested so as always, I love you and have a good day/night, mwahhhhh💋}
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cainfile · 11 months ago
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pt.2 to my angsty loser!ellie drabble 𝜗𝜚
nsfw! ellie gets caught and that’s literally it. i hate this so bad but it’s whateva
(part 3 will have lesbian gay lesbian boob vagina butt sex i promise. no more ellie masturbating)
find pt.1 here! & pt.3 here :3
daily click! don’t buy tlou free palestine
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after ellie’s pathetic masturbation sesh, she vowed to herself to fucking pull it together.
she wasn’t gonna let herself mope over you, because she knew you had an active sex life. she forced herself to be fine with it. to be fine with the people you decided to bring to your bed. she wanted to be near you without feeling this suffocating feeling of yearning and lust filling her insides.
and if that meant tucking her feelings to the deepest pits of hell, then so fucking be it.
a few weeks had passed since that little moment you and ellie had. the one where she had showed up to your house in the middle of you hooking up with someone.
the morning after, she has awoken to a string of texts from you, all apologizing for that awkward moment.
11:34pm
ellie i’m so sorry you had to see me like that. i didn’t mean to come off rude.
i wanted to go after you but i couldn’t really leave her alone in my house lol
els?
i’m really sorry. i hope u don’t think you can’t come to my house ever again ☹️ i actually thought it was sweet you showed up like that.
2:12am
goodnight ellie. i hope things aren’t awkward between us.
god, you made her feel awful. you were too fucking sweet to her. the way you never missed a single night when telling her goodnight, even after something like that. she rubbed her swollen face, mainly from crying, and typed a short message to you.
9:47am
hey, sorry for rushing away like that. idk why i did that lmfao
and things aren’t awkward at all, i shouldn’t have just showed up unnanounced
no els seriously! you should do that more often. tbh i wanted to hang out with you more than that girl… but yk i couldn’t 💔💔
she smiled at your kind text, glad that you two could just put it behind yourselves. her moment of relief was quickly replaced by disgust, when she saw the state of herself and her bed. her inner thighs sticky with dried cum, and her sheets below her still damp with all the extra release.
“gross..” she mumbled to herself, getting up and immediately throwing on some boxers and a tshirt, feeling way too vulnerable being naked like that. she went to the bathroom and cleaned herself up, then threw her sheets in the wash.
since then, you two have been fine. you do your weekly hangout sessions, where you grab food and talk about anything for hours on end. it’s almost as if nothing happened.
until one of your sleepovers.
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you always convinced ellie to spend the night at your house, at least every other week. whenever it’d get dark outside and ellie would start to get up, you’d give her that irresistible pout and “ughhh, c’mon els.. just spend the night. it’s too dark out for you to go home.”
and every damn time, she agreed. how could she ever say no to you?
one night, you and ellie are high out of your minds, talking about god knows what. all giggly and soft, you two exchange jokes and stories that really make no sense. but, to you two, it’s the funniest thing in the world. after a laughing fit between the two of you, you wipe your tears and sigh.
“god, i love you.”
you say, still catching your breath from that tummy tensing laugh. the words were just an expression of admiration for her. but to ellie, they were so much more.
“i love you too.”
she says, looking you in the eyes. she’s high, so she’s not thinking too hard about how sincere she sounds. but she really should’ve, because that soft tone of her voice and the glint in her eyes make it sound way too fucking real.
“woah,” you let out a nervous, breathy chuckle. “that was a bit theatrical.”
“wh..what do you mean?”
ellie asks, getting a bit nervous. she’s not her usual, stuttery self though. she keeps it together. thanks to the weed.
“just the way you said i love you. it felt like… deep.”
you move your hands as you talk, and ellie just shrugs. but she knows she’s fucked. before she could stop her feelings from resurfacing, she gets that familiar tingle in her belly and pounding of her heart.
“shut up,” she rolls her eyes, trying to play it off.“you’re dramatic.”
her voice wavered with those last words. fuck, her voice wavered. why did she feel like she was gonna have a breakdown any second now? she had to get the hell away from you.
“gotta piss. be back in a bit.”
ellie says quickly, so quick you don’t even have time to retort to her calling you dramatic. you just sit there, confused. you could’ve sworn you heard some uncertainty in her voice, but you let her go.
meanwhile, ellie made a beeline for your bathroom. she shut the door and leaned her head against the wood. she let out a deep sigh, trying to calm herself. the fact that she felt the most intense feeling that she couldn’t even describe over a mere “i love you” had her cringing.
she just couldn’t get over you. the entire night, she tried her best not to think about how good your tits looked in your pajama top, or how badly she wanted to just shove her face into your ass in those little shorts.
her thinking over these details led to the predicament that she’s in right now. sweatpants around her knees, legs slightly spread as she rubs one out while leaned up against your bathroom sink. her eyes are shut and her head is thrown back, letting out the quietist grunts she could muster.
she knew she shouldn’t be doing this, she promised herself that she would stop. but god, you made it hard. she was so wet, it made her cheeks flush red. the simple thought of you had her literally dripping around her own fingers.
you were still in your room, biting your thumbnail as you wait for ellie. you start to get worried, thinking you made her upset by commenting on how she said ‘i love you’. so, you being the thoughtful friend you are, go to check on her.
you quietly walk to the bathroom, putting your ear against the door. you were going to knock and mutter a little “els? are you okay?”, but the sounds you heard made you lose all the words in your mouth.
soft, sharp inhales and tiny sticky noises is all you can hear through the door. it’s a bit hard to listen to, since the soft buzz of the yellow light in there overpowers it. what the hell is she doing in there?
you knew this was wrong. an invasion of privacy to the max. but your curiosity was getting the better of you, and you were worried. you put your hand on the doorknob and slightly twisted it, not expecting it to open. but it did.
did ellie forget to lock the door?
ellie doesn’t hear the soft click of the door opening, too lost in her own pleasure as she practically humps her own hand. it had been too fucking long since she could touch herself to the thought of you. her only guilty pleasure.
her head was still thrown back, eyes squeezed shut as she rubbed her clit at a shockingly fast pace. and you saw it all. you had opening the door just enough for half of your face to see through the opened crack. your whole body froze at the sight in front of you.
she was so captivating. her face looking all fucked out, her pale thighs that were so tensed up, the shininess of her slick that smeared on the heel of her palm. even the quick glimpses of her gorgeous auburn bush that you could see if her hoodie rode up enough.
your tummy felt weird. first, you felt guilty for eavesdropping on your best friend. second, you were confused why the fuck ellie decided now would be the best time to masturbate. third, you were turned on. disgustingly turned on, at that.
a few seconds of watching ellie made your panties get all sticky and wet, and that burning hot feeling in your lower belly. you couldn’t look away.
“ohh, fuck— please,”
your brain short circuited hearing ellie say that. god, she was so lost in her own pleasure. so lost that she accidentally knocked over your toothbrush and hand soap on the sink, causing her to jolt and snap her eyes open.
she looks down at the bottle of soap and toothbrush that landed in front of the bathroom door. the door that’s cracked. her eyes shoot up, and there’s where she sees a glimpse of you running away. a quick flash, but she knew it was you.
she is so fucked.
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I HATE RHISNSO BAD RRRR😡
btw i finished this literally like 3 days ago and didn’t wanna post it hut i did anyway ☺️☺️
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stoopidpigeonxx · 3 days ago
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Tulpar crew nsfw hcs for a user with a breeding kink :p
NGHDFJDKHJKDGHDJKFHFGHHHHH. Anon. anon I am looking you in the eyes. YOU ARE AMAZING AND ILY. Im gonna do the men for this one since y'know... Anya got lady parts :-( ANYWAYS! MINORS GO AWAY PLS!
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Curly
-oh he LOOOOOVES it. -Mostly because girlie.. he has one too. -He wants to make that belly of your plump with his baby. -Over and over and over. -But of course he never tells you that. -Until you start moaning for him to cum inside when he's balls deep.. -Fuck he is so on board. -"F-fuck, want me to make you a pretty mommy? All f'me.. my baby in this tummy.. god, I'm gonna give it to you sweetheart.." -He will fill you up with multiple loads to ensure you're getting pregnant. -Jesus, the sight of you leaking his seed.. its almost too much for him. -He might just have to keep going. <3
Jimmy
-its complicated for him. -Like sure, its hot in the moment, but actually having a kid? Hell no. -but he'll cum inside anyways. -he reeaaally likes the way you scream when he holds your legs up to hit deeper. -"Hff.. you wan' a baby? Gotta make sure I get it in the right place, doll.." -i pray for you. He'll probably fill your ass too, to balance it out. Sigh. -Pats your tummy afterwards. "Hopefully we got a lil' shit growing in there, or I didn't do it right."
Daisuke
-ohh boy. -Yall already know I headcannon him as trans, but he is in tears at the fact he cannot get you pregnant because he wants to!! he wants to so bad!! -But like also.. why do I feel like he also has a secret breeding kink.. Idk.. -for this ask, I'm gonna make him bio male. -He's super into it. Wanted to ditch condoms anyways, he doesn't like how they feel on his dick. -Remember when I said he was a whiner? -"oh fuck fuck fuck, please, make me a dad, please please please.. fuck, you're so tight, oh God, I'm gonna cum, I'm coming.." -He is a WHORE!! -goes for multiple rounds or however long he can last. -Only panics when he comes to his senses like 'oh shit I just impregnated my girlfriend.' -makes you take the morning after pill.
Swansea
-Dude, he's way past baby making age. -But he wants to satisfy his little freak, so he'll humor you. -He has breeder balls, sorry but I said it. -Super lazy with it. He knows all you want is to be creampied. So he doesn't put any theatrics into it. -"Uh huh, atta girl. You gonna look real fuckin' pretty swollen with my kid." -passes out, honk shoo, after like 4 rounds. But he got the job done! Hurrah!
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makwebba · 11 months ago
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better than a podium l LN4
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summary: lando could've won his first race in silverstone but he ended up not finishing. pairing: lando x gf!reader warnings: mentions of lando crashing and swearing. note: my first formula 1 fan fiction! not my first time writing fan fictions but it has been a couple of years since i wrote something and lately my love for writing is slowly coming back. the pictures are from pinterest and idk who the owners are so if you guys know the owner or if you are the owner, please lemme know :( also no hate on checo but it just kinda make sense cause he's in a red bull idk. dont come for me. anyways, i hope you guys enjoy it!
- lando was leading the race in silverstone, his home race. you could've not been more prouder for your boyfriend, you were certain he was gonna win the race but not until checo hit the rear tyre of lando's car which cause him to spun out and hit the barrier. your heart sank, everything went numb and it felt like the world just stopped. it was a bad crash, you waited for his voice to come through the mclaren headset that's snugged onto your ear. "lando, are you okay, mate?" randy asked through the radio. you can hear him grunt and groan in agony, breaking your heart even further. you hated seeing him like this every time you come and watch him race. what felt like ages, the medical car finally showed up to retrieve him back to the garage. lando didn't even bother making any eye contact with anybody once he got to the garage, not even you. he just went straight back to his driver's room, hearing the door slam behind you. you sighed as you rubbed your face with your hands in frustration. you walked over to where he locked himself in, you didn't even have to see him to feel the tension that was building in the air as you knocked on the door. "lan...?" your voice muffled against the wooden barrier between you and lando. lando's eyes closed shut when he heard your voice behind the door, he always loved how soft spoken you were to him. he hasn't responded back to you as he stayed where he was sat before deciding opening the door for you. there he is. what he once was; a ray of sunlight beaming through the morning sun to becoming the loud rumbling sound of thunder at night. you furrowed your brows as you quickly but gently swift his hand up against yours while you closed the door behind you. "hey..." you whispered as you brought your hand up to his face, searching for his eyes. lando was not the type to cry but boy, he was just on the verge of losing it. you brought him into a tight embrace, your face nuzzled on the crook of his neck and his arms wrapping around your back. he held you tight as you started to hear him sniffle which ached your heart painfully. you had to fight your tears back because he hated seeing you be so empathetic for him whenever he had a bad race. "i was close... so fucking close..." he mumbled, his voice getting choked up. "i know, my love. i know." you slowly pulled away from him as he quickly wiped the tears building up in his eyes with the palm of his hand before it could stream down his face. you rubbed his arms for comfort as you stood before him, you finally managed to see his eyes. oh so beautiful but it was filled with so much anger and pain. "you did so well out there. and i know your fans wanted you to win as much as you do. we all did. but sometimes things just doesn't go our way..." you said, running your fingers through the side of his head, intertwining with his curls. "could never win a race, huh?" he muttered, moving your hand away from him. "i don't know why i got into this sport in the first place. not even good at it." it broke your heart to hear him talk so low about himself. you tilted your head slightly to the side as your brows furrowed when he moved your hand away from him, stopping you from running your fingers through his hair. you didn't let him get away from it when you placed both of your hands on his face, staring directly into his eyes. "you don't have to be a race winner to be a great driver. you are enough." lando looked back into your eyes which eased him a little. he took a deep breath in when his hand found a place down on your lower back, a soft smile appeared on his face which made you smile back at him.
it was that contagious. "in everyone's eyes you're a winner. to me you're a champion." a wave of warmth cruised all over lando's body when you said those words to him. it definitely hit a nerve in his system but in a good way. it didn't take long until lando pulled you in closer to him and placed his lips against yours, gentle and passionate. "i wouldn't know what i would've done if you weren't here..." he said. landonorris and ynusername
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liked by mclaren, user1, user2 and 1,233,754 others landonorris shoulda woulda coulda, right? but i’ve got something better than a podium.
the end x
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starry-pierrot · 3 months ago
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So I'm not one to usually come up with AU's let alone actually do anything with them, I work better with short stories and honestly I want to spend my time making my own ideas yet i fail to do that lmao
But an idea hit me. So Khan is an absent father right? Well what if he was actually over protective, like to a more grief ridden amount? Explanation under the cut!
Nori asking him as her final words to protect their daughter and he decides the colony isn't safe for her. But when he worked under humans he remembered another much smaller bunker, so he takes Uzi to the place and fixes it up. But...he puts her in a clear container. Or in this case 'These glass bullet proof doors will protect you!' sort of deal, idk I don't know how he'd do it or anything this all just jumbled into my head with no details. Anyway Uzi grows up with just her Dad and it honestly gets to her and pisses her off, she had no chance to make friends, she's alone here with just her Dad and her mom is gone. She misses Doll. But the bunker does have the one thing she hasn't seen in years, sunlight. Somehow her father missed the little beam of sun through a vent and every morning when he sleeps she stays up just a little longer just to look at it. Cue said Murder Drone cinnamon roll finding said weakness during a bad storm and finding Uzi. Her dad had been on a supply run, he's still in contact with the other bunker but refuses to stay with them. Yeva has taken over as leader and Khan refuses to tell her what happened to Uzi beyond 'She's fine! I'm keeping her safe!'. If she didn't have to run the Bunker she would go look herself, Doll on the other hand has a lot of time. ANyway-Uzi freaks out, N is curious about why she's trapped behind the glass and they of course become friends with N visiting on her dad's supply runs. He finds a packet of markers that surprisingly still work and with Uzi's own the two are drawing and coloring all over the clear container. Course she asks him to take her to the surface and he does much to the dismay of her father who tried to stop her and N but chaos and blah blah they get outside with Uzi now sporting her haircut from the show. I know from there it would sorta be canon compliant with the added bonus of V and J getting a new roommate that N has to smooth over with them, it would mostly follow the events while bringing back Doll's family. Tessa might be real Tessa. Love her. Probably continues on the camp episode right after the escape. Haven't decided if Nori told Khan about her solver and that Uzi might have it, sure with Nori she could handle it but with just him it would be hard to make sure she doesn't go feral. Might be a more concrete reason to lock her away. I don't know what I would call this, if I'm gonna continue working on it or what it will actually be. I could maybe write some one shots on it if I'm in the mood but if enough people like it I could try making a basic timeline? We'll see. And yes that one pic is a reference to draw with me.
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m0llygunn · 1 year ago
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deathbed confessions (eddie munson x fem!reader one-shot)
summary: cold and flu season hits you hard but luckily you have your best friend eddie to take care of you. If the cold medicine makes you admit a few things... eddie sure isn't complaining.
contents: 18+, best friends to lovers, r is dramatically sick with a cold (talks about dying but it's just drama), fluff idk a/n: guys i am so sick help me i had to lay on the bathroom floor after braving a shower because i thought i was gonna die (but also i wrote this so maybe im ok) wc: 4.4k+
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
“Holy shit, did Halloween come early?” Eddie snickers from the door of your room.
All you can muster up is a low groan and that alone makes you feel like your head is on the brink of explosion. 
“Jesus, you’re really sick, huh?” he says with the huff of a laugh.
You answer with another groan. Yes. You are 'really sick'.
“Can I do something to help?” he replies, the first hint of empathy appearing in his voice.
“Put me out—” you interrupt yourself with a sniffle followed by a phlegmy cough. “—out of my misery.”
You were supposed to be seeing some double feature with Eddie tonight but yesterday, right before bed, you felt the slightest of tickles in your throat. By morning you were the living dead with everything from your big toe to your forehead aching in one way or another. You called Eddie and before you could even mention that you were sick, he knew from your stuffed up voice. 
No matter how many times you told him you’d be fine he was strangely insistent in checking on you at the very least. By the end of the call he’d quickly worn you down and you told him that he has the spare key and he can do whatever he wants but if he gets sick that's his fault— a little mean but arguing was the last thing you felt like doing.
From the time you hung up to now— which has only been a handful of hours, you’ve gotten substantially worse. Earth shatteringly worse. So terribly worse that the simple task of opening your eyes has been too much effort. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire, and your lungs are just begging for salvation. That’s why when Eddie called twenty minutes ago letting you know he was on his way you told him no. It would have been wise if he listened to you but instead he replied ‘too bad’ and abruptly hung up the phone. 
Cut to twenty minutes later he was at your door, letting himself in. He was willingly walking into his very own death sentence. He clearly thought it was more of a joke than anything.
You hear Eddie’s tell-tale gait as he walks further into your room. You assume that he’s standing over your bed, maybe a hand on the back of his neck, maybe a hand on his hip. Mustering the efforts to confirm your suspicions would take too much of your very limited energy so you continuing laying in your bed, not doing as much as opening an eye.
You hear the ruffle of his hair and he definitely is rubbing the back of his neck as he gauges what to do. 
“So…do you want, like, medicine then?” he asks. 
“A gun,” you croak, earning a deep belly laugh from Eddie.
“At least your humour’s still intact, that’s good to know,” he says, sitting down on the edge of your bed.
You try to shuffle over to make room for him, but that effort alone makes you wince.
“Call an ambulance,” you whine, sniffling pathetically. 
“Really?” he asks, a genuine nervousness creeping into his voice. You feel his hand tug at the blanket you’ve cocooned yourself in, revealing your face for him to see. If you were more cognizant maybe you’d care about Eddie seeing you like this, but you’re too far gone to think about that. 
“No,” you answer, nodding your head up and down in contrast to your answer, earning a huff of relief from Eddie. 
The blanket slackens from his pull and the bed dips deeper as he leans in further to get a better look at you. Once again, if you were more cognizant you’d probably rather he didn’t, but you wouldn’t have the will to fight it anyways.
“Did you take anything?” he asks. 
“It’s been a few hours.”
“Did you eat?”
“Yeah, whipped up a quick 4 course meal earlier, michelin approved of course,” you mumble. You contemplate cracking an eye open to see his reaction but you don’t. 
“Right, so no food.” 
“No, surprisingly not that hungry when you’re on your deathbed,” you say, sniffling.
“Tell me you’ve at least had water,” he says and from his tone you know that he already knows the answer. 
“I had water until the bottle was empty, then I decided I’d rather succumb to death than get out of bed,”
“Funny, funny girl,” he says dryly, obviously not impressed by your answers. 
“Tombstone quote,” you say weakly, hoping that Eddie gets what you mean. He laughs softly and you consider that enough of a success. 
You hear the slightest bit of shuffling, not Eddie getting up but more like he’s looking around your room. Whatever state it’s in, you couldn’t even work up the courage to care. 
“Do you want a movie on or something?” he asks, breaking the lull in conversation. 
“Would you do that?” you ask, tilting your face towards him despite not opening your eyes. 
“Oh yeah. I’m giving you the mortally ill special— the deathbed works, if you will,” he says, and you can tell he’s smiling. You do your best to smile back but it’s weak and probably looks more like a grimace. 
You feel shuffling before the bed rises from Eddie standing.
“Okay, so I’m gonna get you medicine first. Then movie, food, and whatever else, deal?”
Your lower lip pouts out appreciatively for the boy you’ve called your best friend for forever now. If you weren’t deathly ill, you’d kiss him.
“Thank you, Eddie,” you whisper, voice getting caught in your throat for an entirely different reason than your cold this time. 
He mumbles back some version of ‘don’t worry about it’ before he’s off, leaving you in the quiet of your room with only your breathing, coughing, and sniffling breaking the silence. It’s barely a few minutes before you hear his footsteps and the edge of your bed dips again. 
“This is what you took right? The cold and flu medicine?”
“Mhm” you hum.
“You have nasal congestion?”
You sniffle loudly and nod.
“Right. Nasal pain, sinus congestion, and sinus pain?”
You hum again, catching onto the fact that he’s reading the symptoms off of the box. 
“Chest congestion?”
Weakly you swat your hand out trying to find Eddie. When you do, you give him the weakest of taps. “Too many questions,” you muster. 
“Well, I know you’re joking about dying but I don’t want to actually kill you,” he says. You hum again.
You hear him fumbling with the cardboard before fumbling with the plastic pill packaging.
“Do you wanna sit up?” he asks.
“I want to die,”
“Well you can’t do that so I’m gonna help you sit up, okay?”
Eddie starts tugging at the blanket and you let your weakened limbs go limp, undoubtedly making the task much harder for him but he doesn’t say anything. Eventually, he pulls you up by your underarms, propping you up against your headboard. 
When you feel his cool hands on your forehead, pushing your hair back and out of your face, you open your eyes for the first time since Eddie got here. 
“There she is,” he laughs lightly, still pushing back the disheveled mess that is your hair.
“Your hands feel nice,” you whisper, focusing on the coolness on your skin. Before you have a chance to really absorb the relief of his hands on your skin, he pulls away, grabbing for the water he had set down on your bedside table. 
“Yeah, you’re really hot,” he replies, passing the water to you.
“Tombstone quote,” you say, catching his eye, making him laugh again. With a shaky hand, you take the water.
“Funny and hot, that’s a killer deal.” He hands you the little cold and flu pill and you place it in your mouth, swallowing it down with small sips of the cold water that feels like ice going down your throat. 
You redirect your gaze to Eddie, “you’re gonna get sick, that’s the real killer here,” you say. 
“I’ll be fine,”
“You don’t want this cold, trust me,” you say, taking another sip of water before holding it out to Eddie. 
“I’ll be fine,” he repeats as he takes the water, putting it back on your bedside table. 
You nod. You appreciate Eddie’s help more than anything. Fending for yourself wasn’t exactly going so well— clearly.
“You had this with your other stuff, do you want it?” he asks, holding up the vicks vapor rub.
When you felt the cold coming on you went to the pharmacy and picked up a few things just in case. The vapor rub was on sale and you bought it on a whim but haven’t tried it yet.
“Do you think it really works?”
“Wayne used to put it on me, I guess it does?”
“Where do you put it?”
“On your chest or back,” he answers, looking at the fine print of the packaging. “Yeah, it says chest, throat, and back.”
You open your mouth to reply but instead feel the creeping up of the tickling in your throat. Turning the other way, you do your best to not cough all over Eddie. Sucking in a deep breath, you only trigger another cough that divulges into one of many coughing attacks that you’ve had today. When you’re finally done, you drop your head to the back of the headboard in defeat. 
“C’mon, let’s try it on your back for now,” he says, putting a hand on your shoulder encouraging you to lean forward. You move how he wants you without protest.
“I’m just gonna lift up your shirt a bit, okay?” he says, you nod but he pauses, fingers just barely slipping under the hem of your shirt.
“Eddie, with the way I’m feeling, you could see me butt ass naked right now and I could not care less,” you say. 
He snorts a laugh before his cool fingers trail up your spine giving you tingles that make you shiver. “Sorry,” he hums but you shake your head. His hand makes contact with your upper back, rubbing the ointment on your skin and it honestly feels incredibly soothing. Whether it’s the rub or the physical contact, you’re not sure, but you’re not questioning it either.
The noise that comes out of you could have been a moan had you not been congested. Instead it comes out like a low, stuffed up groan— not unlike a movie zombie. 
Eddie rubs a few more circles on your back before his hand travels back down your spine. 
“How’s that feel?” he asks, helping you sit back up straight.
“So fucking good and like I need you to rub my back like that again,” you say, resting your head back against the headboard. Maybe you put a little too much conviction in your words but that truly felt amazing.
The room is silent and you blink open your eyes to see Eddie holding the tub of rub in his hands, paused halfway through closing it. It takes a moment for him to look up at you but when he does, he smiles softly.
“What movie do you wanna watch?”
Had you not been distracted by your sickness, you might have noticed the faintness of a blush spreading across the tops of Eddie’s cheeks. Coughing and forcing air back into your lungs takes up every ounce of your consciousness though, so you don’t notice. 
You shrug your shoulder taking a deep breath, “anything, I’ll probably pass out from the medicine anyways,” you reply, turning away again to cough. 
Eddie hums before he’s moving to your dresser opposite your bed, angling the TV for you to see it better. 
“Sixteen Candles, Children of the Corn, Gremlins, Teen Wolf?” he says, listing off the titles of the different tapes you have sprawled next to the vcr. 
“Any.” 
“Gremlins seems kind of relevant,” he says, pulling open the clamshell box.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask. Eddie turns to you, smirk spreading across his lips.
“Nothing,” he sings lightly. He turns away from you, pushing the tape into the player and then pressing the combination of buttons to get it working. 
“You better not be implying that I look like a gremlin because—” you interrupt yourself with another cough that quickly divulges into yet another coughing fit— worse than the last. 
With each cough being so strong it makes your head pound. You don’t notice Eddie crossing your room or him settling back on the edge of your bed. You only notice his presence when he’s encouraging you forward, hand rubbing your back again. 
When your coughing finally calms down enough for you to take a good breath, Eddie brings the glass of water up for you to take a sip. You take the cup in your hands, guiding it to your mouth. At the same time, Eddie never fully lets go of the cup, making sure it doesn’t spill. You take a drink, nodding when you’re done and he sets it back down, hand still running up and down your back. 
“It’s probably just the rub working, getting all that nasty stuff out,” he says softly. 
You nod again, letting your head fall to rest on Eddie’s shoulder. It’s probably not the smartest idea to be so close to him because you're pretty much sentencing him to his demise, but with how terrible you feel you’re desperate for anything to make it better— and right now the only thing making anything better is Eddie. 
“The medicine’ll kick in any minute and you’ll feel much better, okay? I’ll go get you something to eat and then I can rub your back some more. How’s that sound?” he says softly, brushing the edge of your face with his chin as he tilts his face downwards towards yours. 
Your lower lip pouts out again and you feel your eyes water behind your closed lids. Maybe you were already hyper emotional from feeling so sick, but Eddie being so sweet is also doing a number on you.
“Sounds really nice,” you whisper, sucking in a breath.
“You’ll be okay,” Eddie whispers, hand switching from rubbing up and down your back to rubbing circles at the top of your back. “I’ll take care of you, I got you.”
Before the tears in your eyes have a chance to breach your waterline, Eddie’s shifting beside you, leaning you back against the headboard with the promise of being quick while he gets you food. Only once he’s gone and you’re left alone in your room do you notice Gremlins has already started playing. Opening your eyes, you spare a few glances at the screen that distract you from your teary eyed state.
As Eddie promised, he was pretty quick in his return. You could hear him the whole time, kitchen utensils clanking and cupboard doors closing. Maybe all concept of time is lost on you right now, but it seemed like barely any time had passed before he was taking slow, careful steps back towards your room.
“Alright— got that soup you like, got crackers, and got you some juice,” Eddie announces as he situates the dishware on your bedside table. “I even made sure not to warm the soup too much so you can eat it right away,” he says.
Eyes closed again, you don’t know what you expected him to do but him manhandling you took you by surprise. A hand slid behind your back and another under your upper thighs, he was sliding you right over on the mattress.
“Just giving myself some space here,” he says absentmindedly as he fixes your blanket around you. He quickly settles in next to you before grabbing the sleeve of crackers and settling them in front of you and grabbing the bowl of soup.
Sitting with his legs stretched out next to yours, you let your head dip to his shoulder again, this time like a silent thank you where you cozy your head against him, not unlike a cat.
“For the record, you’re more like Gizmo,” he says, a tease intruding in his voice.
“Hm?” you hum questioningly.
“You don’t look like a gremlin, you’re cute like Gizmo,” he says.
You sink your face further into the crook of Eddie's shoulder, lip jetting out once more. He’s done nothing more than call you a cute gremlin rather than an evil gremlin, yet you feel yourself turning misty eyed yet again. This time you squeeze your eyes shut, closing them on purpose, hiding your sickness induced emotions.
“Soups gonna get cold,” Eddie says, twisting his neck to look at you again. “C’mon, it’ll be better for you if you eat it warm,” he says, using his free arm to move you.
Once you’re finally propped up again in an appropriate position to eat, you feel Eddie’s hand on your cheek— no doubt becoming aware of your tears.
“You okay?” he asks softly, thumb rubbing under your cheek.
“You’re being so nice to me,” you explain, sniffling back your need to cry.
“Just taking care of you. Want you to feel better,” he replies, keeping his voice quiet. 
“Thank you, Eddie.”
“You don’t gotta thank me, just gotta eat your soup, okay Gizmo?” Eddie says, making you snort out a snotty laugh before sucking it all back in with an apology that he quickly dismisses. 
You take a few breaths, getting your tears under control. Shifting your focus to the soup, Eddie holds the bowl close to you while you slowly feed yourself spoonful after spoonful. 
“Crackers?” Eddie offers.
“Maybe one.”
“How ‘bout two?” he replies, peeling back the plastic and pulling two out for you. You nod softly before taking them from him. 
You feel yourself running out of energy and it’s exasperating that all it took was lifting a spoon to your lips a measly few times. When you let the crackers sit in your lap for too long, Eddie turns to look at you, resting the bowl of soup down in his lap. 
“Y’okay?” he asks.
“Tired,” you answer. 
“Just finish those and you can be done, okay?” he says, meeting your gaze. You shake your head.
“Can’t,” you reply.
“You can,” he says, turning his torso to put the bowl of soup on the table. He turns back around, reaching for the crackers in your hand. “Know you can,” he repeats, bringing the crackers to your lips.
“Eddie—” you try to protest.
“Bite,” he says, cutting you off and nudging the cracker into your mouth. 
You bite, giving into him. It feels weird being hand fed. It’s probably even weirder when two bites in you close your eyes in an effort to conserve your energy. Regardless, Eddie doesn’t say anything besides positive affirmations about how good you’re doing which you really, really appreciate. 
“How about you drink some of this,” he says, reaching for the glass of juice as you chew the last bite of cracker. “Then I’ll help you lay down and I can rub your back s’more?”
“You don’t have to if you wanna go home, you've been here a long time,” you say, swallowing the dryness of the cracker down. 
Eddie lifts the cup of juice to your lips, tipping it back for you to sip at. When you take more than a few drinks, you lift a hand lightly pushing the cup away. Blinking your eyes open you look at Eddie as he returns the cup to sit with the other dishware on your bedside table. 
“I’m serious, Eddie. You can go home if you want,”
“Don’t want to,”
“You’re gonna be— you interrupt yourself with a yawn this time. “—gonna be so sick,” you say groggily.
“Just let me cuddle you, you know you want it,” he says, a teasing tone hinting in his voice. You blink open your eyes again to see a genuine smile as he looks at you—one that shouldn’t be there considering how gross you feel and are sure you look. Despite that, it’s there and you do want cuddles so you nod softly, making a weak, sad attempt at getting closer to Eddie.
Eddie meets your attempt by gently pulling you down the mattress. He maneuvers you to have your head resting on his chest while his arm snakes around you, rubbing circles on your back. With the sleepiness settling in and your cold symptoms dialing back due to the medicine, you can’t help but hum happily. 
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” he says quietly.
It feels beyond good. Good is an understatement. Having him take care of you like this is making you feel mushy and only highlights your feelings for Eddie. In combination with your partially delusionally, sleepy state the only thing on your mind is expressing your feelings, all of them true no matter how far out of it you are at this point. 
“Eddie, if I die, just know that I love you,” you mutter into the fabric of his shirt. 
“That’s just the cold medicine talking,” Eddie laughs softly. You find the energy to shake your head.
“Nuh-uh, love you,” you repeat. “Love you so much.”
It’s faint, maybe he whispered it or maybe it’s the fact that you were slipping into sleep but you heard it. 
“I love you too,” he says quietly. 
As if those words gave you a short lived second life, it had you perking up, desperately needing to clarify just in case he didn’t understand. 
“But Eddie I love you as my best friend but also more than that— I love you so much.”
He leaves you in silence but you don’t have the clear consciousness to overthink it, you just keep talking.
“I don’t even care if you don’t like me like that, I love you Eddie.”
“I love you too. Love you a lot, but I think we should talk about this when you’re not tired and on cold medicine, okay?” he whispers softly. 
As your thoughts start to drift, you focus on the first half of Eddie's sentiment. He loves you— and he loves you a lot. With that on your mind, intermixed with the comforting friction of his hand on your back, you fall into the deepest and most comfortable sleep of your life despite being so sick. Eddie loves you. 
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Arguably, the best thing that came out of your cold was your confession. It was bound to happen eventually and although it did sort of seem like a deathbed confession at the time, it was genuine— that of which you clarified for Eddie. To your fortune, he also clarified that his reply was true as well. Beyond that, you were still sick and neither of you had done much more than just sharing those little words that one night. So yes, arguably, that's the best thing that came out of your sickly state; however, in your opinion, you think the best thing that happened was that you got Eddie sick too. 
It was less than a day after you started feeling normal again that Eddie was running a fever. He ended up staying at your place for the majority of your sickness but he had left once to get some things for himself. Since he had his stuff here already, you offered for him to stay over at yours while you returned the favor of playing doctor. 
Eddie took on a much different position as a sick person than you did. Undeniably, you both were on the dramatic end of things but while your cynical humour came out during your time being sick, Eddie was much different in how expressed himself.
Normally, a very touchy feely person, his affectionate side heightened tenfold while he was sick. He was all grabby hands, wanting you closer to him. Maybe it was because the two of you had broken the touch barrier while you were sick or maybe Eddie just turned into a touch deprived baby when he was sick, you’ll never know, but you didn’t deny him of the cuddles that you so dearly appreciated while you were under the weather. 
The most interesting part— which shouldn't have came as a surprise, was that not only did he appreciate holding you, but he intensely appreciated you holding him, whether that be hands scratching his head as he rested it on your stomach, or your arms wrapped around him from behind making him the little spoon. Additionally, he was also incredibly affectionate with his words, constantly telling you how grateful he was for you and how much he appreciated you. 
Your favourite confession came late one night, probably at the peak of his sickness. Fairly similar to your deathbed confession, but a moment to remember regardless.
You had just finished helping him eat, similar to how he had done for you, and were cuddling with him, smoothing your hands over his side as he rested his head on your chest. 
The medicine was kicking in, making him drowsy, eyes fluttering shut as he let sleep take him over. He had kept babbling random thoughts but as he got more and more tired he was eventually reduced to heavy breaths. That was, until he titled his face up to yours. You looked down at him, meeting his sleepy eyes.
“I love you,” he said. “Love you so much.”
“Love you too, Eddie,” you replied, smiling.
“But I love you so much,” he said, voice returning to its babbling cadence. “Love you so much I wanna kiss you and love you and—” his babbling started to slowly fade as his head got heavier on your chest. You couldn’t help but laugh softly as your heart swelled.
You smoothed a hand over his face, brushing back his hair as you stared at him with nothing but love for your very, very sick boy. Like you had given him a second wind, his babbling started up again. 
“Wanna marry you. Love you so much wanna marry you,” he said, words slurring.
“Think you’ll have to ask me on a date first, cutie,” you replied quietly, partially under the impression that he was already asleep. 
“I will. Love you so much, I will,” he mumbled and with that, he was out like a light. 
From there, the rest was history. If curious minds were to inquire, you would say that Eddie’s always been very good at keeping his promises, and mindless babbling or not, he meant every word that he confessed in his sickly, drowsy state. 
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
thank you! <3
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orimuraa · 4 months ago
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𓈒 🏁 / ⋆ ۪ Go big or go home TEASER - Lee Heeseung
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(synopsis) ✶ famous model, y/l/n y/n, has caught the eye of famous f1 racer, lee heeseung, but how will they ever be able to interact when they're lives are so different? ᯓᡣ𐭩
f1 racer!heeseung x fem model!reader ✶ bad boy with a soft spot ✶ profanity ✶ more warnings to come in full fic ✶ wc 647
full fic = here
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the sound of screams and the flashes of light and cameras constantly clicking was what y/n was used to. she has been in the modeling industry for many years now and it now unfazed her.
she was now used to the blinding flash and the aggravating comments the paparazzi would make just to get a reaction out of her.
y/n never had to worry about the consequences of the dating rumors because she had never been in one.
that was until she met lee heeseung.
y/n would be lying if she said she had never heard of lee heeseung before. she’s actually heard of him quite a bit.
she saw his races from time to time on tv, and she had to admit, he was pretty hot.
she admired his bravery to be able to drive so fast in front of hundreds and thousands of people without the humiliation if he ever crashed.
but y/n knew that they lived completely different lives and it would be considered “scandalous” if someone as perfect as her was dating some sort of car racer.
so she decided that it was best that she buried these thoughts deep down and forgot about them so her career wouldn’t be in jeopardy.
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of course lee heeseung had heard of y/l/n y/n. she was one if the most famous models in south korea. she was the ambassador for many luxury brands such as prada, miu miu, louis vuitton, and so many more.
she was also all his team mates could talk about. every day, he would always here them talking about how pretty she was and how they would kill to date her.
heeseung himself thought she was the most beautiful person he’s ever seen but he couldn’t allow any distractions that could risk his entire career.
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so when they accidentally met at a party, both of their perspectives changed. a lot.
they actually got along well and were having a pleasant time chatting together.
y/n realized that lee heeseung was not at all what she had heard about him from her other model friends. they said he was a reckless person and was quite rude to people, but y/n was finding him actually quite polite and respectful.
the truth is, heeseung didn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of y/n. but it was strange because heeseung has never cared what others thought about him. he was always out doing his own things and saying whatever crazy shit he wanted to say.
heeseung actually felt himself genuinely smiling and laughing while chatting with y/n which was a bit if a foreign concept for him since he was always seen as this “cold, bad boy”.
y/n knew she should’ve been more careful, but for once in her life, she wanted to be able to feel free and have fun talking with lee heeseung.
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the next morning, she faced the consequences of her actions.
FAMOUS F1 RACER, LEE HEESEUNG, AND FAMOUS MODEL, Y/L/N Y/N, ARE DATING?
the article shocked y/n and she immediately rushed to call her manager.
“what the fuck?” heeseung whispered to himself. he ran a hand through his hair, reading the article about him and y/n.
in the article, there was a photo of y/n touching his arm while laughing and heeseung is seen with a wide smile on his face.
fuck. he was so screwed. y/n herself was an angel and so sweet but heeseung knew that she has a ton of fans that will not approve of him even being near her.
they would say how he’s too much of a bad influence for their “pure” angel y/n and how she deserved better.
but also, he was so screwed cause he’d already fell for y/n’s charm.
would he be able to stay away and save his career?
or will he risk his whole career to be with y/n?
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sooo…i don’t know how soon i will have this fic out since i think it’s gonna be a really long one…BUT, i will try and get it out no later than a month? idk…
lmk if you want to be added to the taglist for the whole fic!
𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: @en-diaries
⚘. Perm taglist: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip
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torialefay · 10 months ago
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PLEASE tell me you saw chan do the smart challenge at the fanmeet with hyune and binnie, i have many thoughts and things to say (specifically about his hips moving game) yet none of them are in the bible
OMG YES SO SO BAD.
and idk why but he is making me have horny soft girl hours.
like just imagine morning sex with that man. his cute little "good morning" voice he sends on bubble before smiling at you and throwing an arm around you to cup your boobs. he'd be so gentle and soft and bring his face in close so he could snuggle up next to your neck, leaning in to give you soft kisses.
you'd both be sleepy as hell, but he'd love it when you'd grind into him with your ass, silently begging him for more. he's already naked so you can feel himself easily getting harder and harder. you'd turn your face so you could let your mouth find his. and that's his favorite thing in the world. letting his tongue run on top of yours. until he slowly brings a hand up so you can suck on one of his fingers before he brings it down and starts to slowly finger you, bucking his hips and grinding into you the whole time.
he'd back his face away so he could watch your reactions as he gently, lovingly rubbed his hands around the way he knew you liked it. and how you wiggled your body around in just the same motion as he was moving himself around you, looking like you were moving together in one motion.
once he made sure you were dripping, he'd slowly creep his hand down to his cock, giving it a few quick pumps before lazily letting it rub you before pushing inside. he'd go so slow and gentle, savoring each little tiny movement of you around him. he'd kiss the side of your jaw as he watched it drop open from the pressure. he'd get harder and harder as you backed yourself up into him further, making sure you felt all of him.
he'd let himself rest inside of you for a moment, observing how beautiful you looked for him with half-closed lids. he'd wonder how he'd gotten so lucky as he admired the moan you let out for him once he slowly drew himself back and then in again.
he'd hook his arm around your chest, pulling himself as closely to you as possible. he wanted to feel your heartbeat as he made love to you. he wanted so badly to be connected to you forever. but for now, he'd have to be satisfied that this was it.
he'd slowly run his tongue along your outer ear as he began fucking into you the tiniest bit faster. you couldn't help but let out a few breathy moans of his name. and he didn't think he'd last much longer.
you'd match your own hips to the roll of his, not letting him draw back out of you for one second. he'd ubderstand immediately that you needed more and drop his hand down to your core to continue his finger's work.
he'd keep going like that, softly but steadily until he knew you were at your breaking point.
"so fucking pretty, baby," he'd whisper into the back of your head, almost so quietly that you couldn't hear him. it would send you over the edge, and you'd feel yourself start to slowly convulse around him. you'd feel like you were burning from the inside out. you'd want to burn into him. throw both of you into this fire together until there was nothing left.
as he'd watched you delicately move around him, he'd get so caught up in the low breaths coming out of you. hearing the sweet whispers of him name spew out left and right, like it was the only word in the world. the only word that could occupy your head at this very moment.
his hips circled you, continuing until he felt warmth in his very core, one of your legs wrapping around him now to draw him as closely as you could.
he let himself become engulfed in the thought of you. how you were so perfect for him. how he wanted nothing more than to be in this moment forever. inside of you and connected to you in the deepest way possible. he'd feel like his heart would bubble over, swelling to twice it's size just from seeing your face contort for him.
"gonna cum in you baby," was all he'd be able to get out before letting himself have a few more quick flicks of his hips into you. he'd spill into you with so much force that it would take him off guard. he'd cherish every moment of his high, continuing to fuck into you and letting out deep, gutteral moans until he was absolutely numb.
once he'd exhausted himself, he'd pull his face back into your neck, planting a couple of soft kisses and reaching a hand up to stroke your hair. he'd let his cock rest inside of you as it went soft. he just wanted to take in the comfort he felt resting inside of you.
he'd run his hand along the lines of your body so that he could find your hand. he'd entangle his lovingly in yours before guiding both of your hands to rest on your hip.
with one final cuddle into you, he'd take his time resting his head with yours, planting a soft kiss to the base of your neck. as you laid, his cock still tucked snuggly inside of you, you'd let out a deep, satisfied sigh and a small smile before letting your lids close all the way. they got heavier and heavier before you'd finally give in and let yourself fall back into your sleep.
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