#so i'm not worried abt telling ppl No. or anything similar

[fairymint]

Teensy bit of an fyi, but sometime next month? or so? My activity may change again! Work wants me to undergo training for Customer Service. What I'm guessing is that my activity will go up- I'll be training in mornings some days, and the job is more my style; i'm better at helping people than i am at idle talk, and will be less social up front in the meantime between calls, doing more shelving work in the back.

If i get morning shifts, I'll have all evening to do what I want, whether that be crash for a lil while, or RP~

[noyasaur]

I have a couple questions abt shifting if you don't mind ^^

1- is shifting real? I see a lot of ppl saying it is and alot saying it isn't so I'm not sure;;

2- do I have to go to a specific reality everytime or can I switch everytime?

3- what are the essential steps to shift? Cuz I see a lot of methods and it's rlly confusing ;;

I hope my questions don't come as ignorant or anything, I'm just very curious!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

helloo!! i'm more than happy to answer your questions about shifting! and don't worry, you don't come off as ignorant at all :) i'm always happy to help and educate anybody on shifting :)

let's get into it ~

🪐 IS SHIFTING REAL?

of course! i think it's a little obvious on what my answer would be haha but yes, reality shifting is real and i do believe it's real. i can understand your confusion because you have us, the shifters, who of course believe in it. but then you have people who are so quick to denounce reality shifting, playing it off as something fictional or fake.

however, i don't blame anybody who does question whether it's real or not, since you have people on either side constantly telling you it's real or not and it seems something taken out of a sci-fi movie. and unfortunately, i'll be honest with you but reality shifting hasn't exactly been directly scientifically proven (yet) so right now, we can only take people's experiences for word, or experience it ourselves. but it definitely is real (am i biased or 😇). however, scientific theories and concepts have been linked together to prove how reality shifting can be possible.

i have always believed in reality shifting from the beginning. however, i think my belief has strengthened more after doing researching and experiencing it for myself. i have shifted before, not traditionally to what people think or where people shift to. not to one of my desired realities but i've shifted within this reality concept. basically, i woke up one morning and saw it was 10:30AM in the morning, wanted more sleep, affirmed for it to be 9:30AM, and then i fell asleep again. then i woke up again, checked the time and it was actually 9:30AM! i've had a few more similar incidents, but this is enough to prove for me that reality shifting is indeed real.

and if you're still wondering whether reality shifting is real, i suggest doing more research on the topic! read on people's experiences, and read about the scientific concepts and theories on reality shifting. find out what reality shifting is to you! (i talk about this more in one of my other posts if you want to check out a bit more on what i mean! -> here).

but yes, i'm being truthful. that reality shifting is a real phenomenon. i have experienced it before, along with many others. however, i can only convince you so much. it's up to you in the end to form your own conclusions and beliefs :D

🪐DO I HAVE TO GO TO A SPECIFIC REALITY EVERYTIME OR CAN I SWITCH EVERYTIME?

well, you don't have to go to one specific reality every time. each time you shift, you can choose to whatever reality to go to! there are no rules to reality shifting, and no rules on what realities you have to shift to or not. this is all up to you! you have free will to do whatever you like.

if you want to shift to a different reality each shift, then go for it! you're not only limited to one reality on your shifting journey.

for example, one night, you might choose to shift to DR #1. then the next shift, you may choose to shift to DR #2. but then next time, you may choose to shift to DR #1 again! you can do whatever you like.

and if we even want to go deeper, you don't have to just go from one specific reality to another, then back to the previous one. for example, you can shift from you CR to DR #1 then from DR #1, you shift to DR #2 and back to your CR after.

but i think you get my point! you have free will to choose whatever realities you want to shift to every time.

🪐 WHAT ARE THE ESSENTIAL STEPS TO SHIFT?

okay, so before i answer this i will say that please take this with a grain of salt! i'm no expert or anything and this is all just my opinion. other people might say other things, and other people may agree.

(by the way, if you don't want to read me going on a tangent, scroll to the bottom for a tldr :D )

i think this is a bit of a tricky one to answer, because technically, you can shift any way you like. there is no right or wrong way to shift. that's why there are so many 'tools' to help you shift. whether it be through subliminals, guided meditations, the countless amount of methods people make everyday.

however, when it comes to down to the essentials, i believe there are three very important essentials that at least one of the three or all of the three are used in it.

intention, 'imagining/assuming' and belief, knowing, and trusting.

shifters may use these steps on their own, or interchangeably/a combination between the three. but i like to think these three things act as a chain reaction to each other; one 'step' leads to the other.

first of we have intention.

a lot of shifters used to preach that "'intention' is the key to shifting and the only thing you need!" which technically it's not wrong. you can just shift by using intention.

but what is intention? intention is simply just mentally determining or deciding to go do something- then you go do it! for example, if i decide that i want to go make tea, i then intend to make tea, then i make the tea! you see how i don't attempt to go make the tea or try to make the tea? nope! i just go make the tea! i intend to make the team so i go make the tea.

people are able to just shift through intention because it's already something we know how to do. we intend to shift, and we just do it. we don't need to learn how to shift as shifting is something we already do. everyday, with every thought, action and decision we shift. it's an innate, natural process that we subconsciously know how to do. except this time, we just consciously hone our abilities and use it to our advantage. reality shifting is simple and we're always shifting.

next, is assumptions/imagining.

i noticed that in almost every shifting method, there is a part where methods lead you to convince yourself that you either will shift/wake up in your desired reality or believe that you're already in your desired reality (technically, you already are). this could be through repetition of affirmations such as "i am in my desired reality," or "i have shifted," visualising yourself in your desired reality and utilising your five senses, thinking or acting like you're in your desired reality, or using your emotions. any means or way to convince yourself you're there or knowing that you will shift. it gets shifters to immerse themselves in their desired reality and convinces yourself that you're truly there and know you will be there, thus your reality/perspective shifts to the reality you want to become aware of.

lastly, is belief, knowing and/or trusting (i feel like this is more of a tangent and connected to the last point). something i've also noticed that at some point in a shifter's journey when they shift or before they shift, they develop the belief and confidence in themselves and their abilities. this can be through their mindset: finally accepting their power and seeing somebody who CAN shift. or during their method. they become so immersed within their method and they truly believe and know that they will shift to their desired reality. they know it in themselves and it will happen, so they trust themselves and let go. essentially, using the law of assumption. however, having a good self-concept goes a long way with you being able to shift. although, you can definitely shift with having doubts and keeping this in mind, this is why i also say successful shifters with doubts may have a sudden shift in their mindset/subconscious beliefs during their method through immersion or using their emotions (just a theory). or on the other hand, that we can shift with doubts because we already know how to shift within us.

this is why methods can come in handy sometimes. many methods can get you into an ideal state to shift- they allow you to become so immersed in your state that everything starts fading away, and the only thing you can focus on is your desired reality, so they start believing and knowing they will shift. trusting and letting go, because they know they will shift.

so to sum it all up, i think some three 'essential' steps to shift shifters incorporate the use of: intention, assumptions/imagining and belief, knowing, and trust. these are three elements i know many methods use to allow shifters to shift. i could also say many methods use some sort of relaxation techniques (e.g. meditation, breathing exercises) just to clear the mind to allow your intentions to become clearer, but this is optional.

however, you don't need to follow this to shift at all. you don't need any methods or anything to shift. the most important thing you need to shift is yourself, and that's all you need! i always like to recommend to just shift however you want and do whatever feels most comfortable to you!

🪐 TLDR OF 'ESSENTIAL' STEPS TO SHIFT:

intention: mentally deciding and determining you will shift.

'assuming/imagining' : assuming that you will shift, wake up in your desired reality or assuming/imagining that you're already in your desired reality.

belief, knowing, and trust: believing that you will shift or that you can shift. knowing that you can shift and will shift. and trusting in yourself and your abilities. at some point in their journey, whether it's through their self-concept, subconscious beliefs, or they start believing so during their method. feeling, believing and trusting in themselves and their abilities.

optional: relaxation/meditation techniques to clear the mind and relax the body.

notes 1: technically, step 2 and 3 are interchangeable and basically mean the same thing. basically, the law of assumption and good self-concept.

note 2: additionally, while i say these are the 'essential' steps to shift, you don't have to use all three to shift/fully fulfil every criteria to shift. shift in whatever way you want to shift :)

note 3: these are just my personal opinions, theories and observations!

i hope i answered your questions okay and apologies for taking awhile! i spent a long time on this post because i found it hard to gather my thoughts and convey what i wanted to say 😭 i honestly don't feel very satisfied with the answers and i felt like i wasn't able to truly say what i wanted to say and it's very messy so i'm sorry about that!! i hope this is all understandable and it's not too confusing 😭

anyways, have a wonderful day and early happy new year!

- saturn ♡

[troglobite]

lakjdlfk

my favorite little phenomenon is

"you can't tell if someone is [queer/trans/autistic/disabled] just by looking at them!"

and then we can all spot each other anyway lol

it's basically just peak "recognizing the self through the other" type shit and i LOVE that

and i will say there are caveats! bc it's recognizing the SELF through the other! so if there are too many societal and cultural differences between you and the other person, good luck trying to clock them as anything, y'know? lol

like idk what queer subcultures look like in nairobi or eastern african countries and cities in general, y'know what i mean?

but i do know vaguely what queer subcultures look like in most of north america, even if i don't know all of the specifics, etc.

like idk what would be considered Weird or Abnormal behaviors in indonesian culture, so spotting a neurodivergent person might be a little more difficult

but spotting one in north america is a little bit easier

and so i really do love this phenomenon

bc it's like

"i know what we're generally like over here, and i see you, do you see me? i see you bc we are Similar. so i see you in ways that other people might ignore or misread or ostracize."

and i really like that.

it's nice.

it's also just funny bc i saw a comic today on an autistic fb page that was like

"...and i think it's bc i'm autistic that i relate to my students so well" - "oh you're autistic? i never would've guessed, you don't look it!" - "...what does autistic look like? no really." - [awkward silence, they leave] [autistic friend pipes in] - "lol yeah that's what i thought. there is no look." - [time skip] - "oh look one of us! that guy is totally autistic." - "oh absolutely, 100%"

and it's just. nice and true. it's sweet.

it doesn't come from stereotypes.

it comes from the kind of Seeing and observation that you can only get from being around other people and having a deep understanding of what it means to be these ways in your particular place and society and culture, etc.

the most that other people who fit the norms can do is just "oh that is Other."

but they can't get more specific than that

meanwhile here's a silly example

have y'all seen the big brunch? it's on hbo max. dan levy and sohla el-waylly are hosts and judge, and there's this third guy who's host/judge.

and my mom asked if he was gay

and i sat and looked at him and thought abt it

and i said

"mm. no. he's just one of those non-threatening straight guys who really loves his wife."

and so i looked him up to check and lo and behold he has a wife who's even more accomplished than him. lol

like THAT.

like she saw him being nice and having an "effeminate" voice and presence, and went. ? gay?

and i saw that and went "no not quite. he's this other type of guy."

and i was right. lol

i love pattern recognition i love SEEING people and not grouping them to minimize or flatten them but to lump lovely people together based on lovely traits and stuff.

i mean you can also do this with jackasses, bc being able to recognize complete bigots is also a life-saving thing/skill

but it's NICE to me, to look at someone and have an Idea of them quickly, not based on my own quick prejudiced born and raised biases, but through observation of other people and Learning.

sometimes you don't even realize there's a Category of person until someone asks abt a person who would "fit" in that category and you're like "oh yeah i know this kind of person."

and it's just one aspect of them but it's a nice little thing

okay i've strayed v far from this i'm just Thinking Thoughts out here

but my brain likes to categorize ppl in v atomized ways that acknowledge bits and pieces of their personality and humanity, and occasionally in ways that keep me, a person whose existence is the target of many bigotries, safer

but it's nice.

i always worry that i'm limiting ppl or assuming too much or being unfair or Stereotyping

but i never LIMIT those ppl to the various categories i "put" them in. i just like seeing that, while we're all individuals, there are "types" that line up, sometimes, and humans are all connected in that way, and it's NICE.

like i mean ffs what do we think the Category "himbos" means y'know? lol

and it is funny bc like, yeah i'd wanna be "gatekeepy" over categories bc they're supposed to SEE someone

so yeah ppl arguing abt who is ACTUALLY a twink, who is ACTUALLY a bear, bc societal perceptions around acceptable body hair and fat/weight and whatever are totally skewed and harm us, etc

okay i'm way off the original point

YOU FUCKING GET IT, OKAY. lol

[sol1loqu1st]

.

[risaonda]

my biggest fear abt any of my posts getting a bunch of notes is like what if someone i blocked sees it and finds out that i have them blocked

[phoenixyfriend]

Windwalker but it's a de-aging plot where Mace gets turned into his 18yo self and he and 18yo Anakin are forced to hang out while The Real Adults focus on reversing this.

Mace has no idea why this random padawan hates him, what did future him do? Anakin's dislike and frustration is petty and born at least somewhat of jealousy right now. They spar a lot and Anakin's used to being the best in his age group and now he's Losing.

They spar more in private.

They end up making out on the salle floor.

They share I'm The Angry Kid That People Worry About thoughts and Mace bullies (flirts) Anakin into meditating with him, properly.

Obi-Wan and Depa need All The Drinks to forget what they've seen.

I CAN FOIL THEM, YOUR HONOR

@bytebun and I were losing our minds about PARALLELS yesterday so that was fun.

Anakin 🤝 mace parallels Like honestly isn’t mace the or one of the youngest ppl to join the council. Anakin is MAD jealous In the sense of… obi-wan is too far away in terms of like, age and experience and such to be jealous of. But an 18 yr old mace…. They are so similar and so different And anakin can see exactly where he’s lacking - exactly why this boy went on to be what he is But also mace is very down to make friends, so like. Agshsjsk

I also hold to the idea of 15yo Anakin having a Rage Crush on middle-aged council member Mace Windu that he only barely managed to keep secret.

Mace: We should be friends r-- Anakin: FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON

Masters just casually not saying anything abt padawan crushes because glass houses, thrown stones etc POOR MACE : ( gotta find out qui-gon is dead, too….

HE HAS NO IDEA WHY THIS GUY DOESN'T LIKE HIM

At least Plo is there, even if he's old and keeps treating Mace like a youngling. (He's not that old, he's just very keen on teasing the baby of the friend group)

Obi-Wan is having all the "Anakin why are you LIKE THIS" moments.

Like Is this better than the decade-long crush on Amidala? Obi-Wan GENUINELY CAN'T TELL.

Obi-wan is just. Its mace! I mean it’s MACE! That’s like! That’s! Depa, wailing: that’s my DAD They collectively decide to never speak of this again. Except it keeps happening agshskslsl

It happens SO MUCH.

Obi-Wan already had to deal with the Ferus phase (so many sullied broom closets), now THIS?

Yoda thinks this fling is good for both of the hot-headed young ones.

[sukirichi]

hi suki! wanted to tell you this bc i have no one else to talk about it with ><

( you can answer this when the English chapter releases! i was able to read it because my friend bought the WSJ issue)

I was trying to udnerstand Naoy's character, so I was reding everything from CH138-151 again. I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked", except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society is a place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

Have a nice day suki!! kisses~

(also this is a PSPSPSPS to a naoya childhood friends au fic pls 👁👁)

bestie omg I am so sorry, I found this deep in my inbox and I am *shakes* and yes yes let’s talk about naoya, I would be more than glad to and I’m sorry I didn’t see this any sooner!! more rants and simping under the cut

I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

omg for this…I’m actually like…like I love the detail that naoya admires toji? as we can see from the panel of little naoya, it’s like people have already planted in his head that no cursed energy = loser, yet he ended up admiring him and I am,,,my heart is just soft! exactly! just think of naoya born as a genius sorcerer yet his admiration for toji, who is painted as the clan’s failure, helped shape him into who he is! idk but I just really love the fact that naoya, who is like born with the pressure and role of being clan leader, somewhat strays from tradition and ends up finding strength into toji and even strives to follow him or “stand by him” someday. for me, it just shows that perhaps naoya isn’t really half as bad as he should be in an honest sense, meaning that he’s evil or morally corrupt because he was born that way or because he chose to be that way. I do agree that perhaps he is the way he is now because he’s groomed to be like that, but of course, I’m not going to disregard the fact that somewhere along the way, Naoya could’ve matured to choose himself to not embody the misogynistic tradition of the zen’in clan.

This could just be me, but my interpretation of it is that Naoya seems more like the perfect product or embodiment of how the clan shaped him to be, blinded him with false morals and the patriarchy presiding into them. Rather than Naoya being just “a misogynistic arrogant man” in my perspective and my opinion, I see him more into the bigger picture of his toxic upbringing to begin with. Like, no child is born evil unless there’s like a predetermined curse deciding their fate for them, so its partly the Zen’in clan’s fault he’s that way. But Gege showing that Naoya admiring someone the Zen’in clan disregarded, it shows that he is capable of being himself without the clause of his clan enforcing things to him once again, like the whole “he’s gonna be the future clan leader” thing, though that is still heavily embedded within him.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

OMGGGG PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE, HE LOOKED SO INNOCENT AND ADORABLE BUT EVEN AS A CHILD HE WAS ALREADY CALLING PEOPLE A LOSER LIKE EYE

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked",except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

Anon, is it just me or like…was his superiority complex also enforced on him by the Zen’in clan as well? Again this could just be me going all psychologist mode on Naoya but the nature of superiority complex is quite interesting, you know! As a psych student, I perfectly understand that superiority complex either stems from several things like a) wanting to live up to one’s or others expectations, b) masking it with a deep stem of insecurity, or c) it’s a coping mechanism. See, I could go on and on about but then I’d have to link all my past studies lmao so let’s just put it on layman’s terms that my interpretation of Naoya’s superiority complex is once again, influenced by the clan. Imagine being a kid born into a clan where people remind you again and again that you’re the future leader, that you would be the one to guide them or protect them or discuss the clan’s future and status once you grow, and you’re quite groomed for it.

For such pressure to be put on a child’s shoulders, it kind of strips off his youth and instead of him enjoying his youth, I can imagine that it took a toll on little Naoya, and the reason he grew his superiority complex is his way to cope and reach the standards and expectations that is given to him. Of course, he’s a kid, he might start to wonder, “Can I even do all of that?” but seeing as the Zen’in clan highly measures strength and growth based on abilities, cursed energy, and overall just to conform into the image they’ve held for years, it’s quite obvious that Naoya can’t exactly voice out his worries over this, so instead, he masks it with a superiority complex that absolutely boosts him to a higher level, thus giving him the confidence he needed to carry out his tasks and the reassurance that, “Yes, I am worthy and I will be the clan leader.” As for your theory that he takes it as a challenge, I can see where you’re coming from! I think Naoya is the type of person who definitely likes to challenge himself, but one of the reasons I love his character so much is because he’s not completely a brainless “head on straight to war” type of person too.

He knows his limits and knows which side he should be in, as showed when Yuuta came and mans surrendered easily. Idk why but to me, Naoya, who is such an arrogant confident man who has high trust in abilities, but at the same time can admit when someone is stronger than him (like him admiring Toji and Gojo) just makes him more human and a little more beautifully flawed. Like, he’s not perfect and he’s most definitely an irritating character, but the way he was written is just *chef’s kiss*

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

Yes, ah I really do love this theory that he’s more irritated because in his mind, he’s like, “I’m a genius sorcerer! I was meant to be clan leader! This is my rightful spot to be a strong one, so how come Maki, who is a woman, with no zero cursed energy has reached the level of the person I looked up most to?” again, Naoya didn’t say that and those are just my opinions and brainrot so don’t come at me for it uwu, but yeah I do think that he’s very aggravated that he didn’t react that level first. Because I guess you could say, he’s probably alluding that Maki reaching Toji’s strength = them being equals, and ofc Naoya wanted to be the one standing beside them. It probably hit his superiority complex that he wasn’t the one in Maki’s spot especially when he tried so hard to achieve it, and considering the gifts he was given (same cursed technique as his dad and him having cursed energy) it threw him off.

Yeah, Naoya is most likely in denial and becomes aggressive over it, although I don’t really mean physically aggressive because Naoya is actually quite calm and ‘composed.’ If ever he did go on a rampage, he does it in such a suave, calculated manner with this silent confidence that he will win. It kind of makes you root for him because he even fools the audience (by audience I mean ME) that he’s going to OWN that fight but whoop, he got his ass kicked. Plus ten points for confidence and a bonus thousand points for being sexy though!!! Yeah, omg he’s probably in disbelief that a woman of all people could be like the person he admired most.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

OMG YESSSS ANON YES YES YES *slams down simping button angrily* That’s what I like about him too! Even though Naoya is cocky and wayyyy too arrogant for his own good, I also like that he acknowledges he’s not quite in a level he wants to be in yet. And hah, his backstory, it wasn’t totally sob because it’s obvious he was much too doted on, but I still hate how they made him like that. True, if he’s still carrying the same misogynistic ideals as he is now in an age where he has the mental capacity to improve and be different, then the belief has become more of a choice than something engraved into him, which I am really disappointed and not really into because of course, he’d be much better if he wasn’t like that in the first place. LOLOLOLOL yes yes he’s a kid, it sure as hell doesn’t excuse the way he is now but like just think !!

if a kid was spouting out such mean words and CLEARLY no one is correcting him, who really is the problem here? A child has a harder time deciphering what is right and wrong by himself without proper guidance. And he didn’t have proper guidance, they really just let him be like that and it’s because the clan!! sucks !! ass !! YEAH he probably called toji with a miserable face because he hasn’t seen him before but after seeing the iconic dilf, Naoya gone be like, “anyways, I lied, moving on—”

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society isa place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

yeah no of course, no worries! even as a hardcore naoya stan, I can admit this dude is TERRIBLE for so many reasons! yeah I mean that could be pretty irritating because he was born for it, raised to be clan leader, groomed and expected he’d have that role, but nah someone else took his throne. yeah I’m with you on that, naoya has a shitty personality and I would totally smack him if he was real because he makes my eyes roll to the back of my head, but knowing his background and theorizing (read: me going all psychologist mode because he’s the only character I ever cared about to apply my studies into) his character is quite fun. I wish we had more scenes with Naoya though, I really hoped he’d play a bigger role but he just…died, I guess, though I’m starting to believe that maybe he really isn’t dead! Gege did him dirty omg I’ll cry again if it’s really GENUINELY confirmed my baby is gone.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

ah no worries about your English, I didn’t really notice anything wrong with it tbh! And I understand, these are all just our opinions/theories/perspectives, we could be wrong or not, we don’t really know because we’re not Gege (⋟﹏⋞) NOOOO PEOPLE HATED YOU ON THAT? ISTG I’VE NEVER SEEN A FANDOM CANCEL SOMEONE AS MUCH AS JJK FANDOM CANCELS NAOYA AND NAOYA STANS LIKE – he’s just a fictional character omg, cancelling naoya is understandable because I would too but attacking his fans? or generally anyone who talks about him in a neutral or not in a way that goes, “yeah I would punch this mfer” is just?? doesn’t make sense to me bestie, people really choose to do that with their time yikes.

AND AWWW THANK YOU YES I PROTECT ALL MY FELLOW NAOYA STANS HERE, I respect who people simp for because if it’s what you enjoy and as long as you’re not hurting anybody, then it really doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal! and you’re always welcome here uwu. have an even nicer day bestie and I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner AAAA I really loved talking about this tho HEHEHEH I’m not actually too much of a JJK theorist since I’m not smart enough to pay attention or infer from all the details but NAOYA HMMMMM also childhood friends fic? hmu let’s hear it!! also ahh hmm idk but i get really happy whenever people talk to me freely about naoya bcos even tho i have been a naoya simp for like three months, it was not until recently that people came to me about him and i have just been simping alone (bcos people MADDDD) spsppsps okay rant over thank you anon i love you kith kith <3

[jeanmoreaux]

ahhh i missed your birthday, sending (belated) best wishes ✨ i'd love to know more (unspoilery, tho) abt what you thought about honey girl and ppl we meet on vacation, i have both on my tbr and since you have a similar taste in books i'm very 👀👀 yk:) hope your week's going well!

ohh, thank you so much sabrina, you're an angel <333 hahaha yes, i wasn't really on tumblr that day and after that it felt weird to be like 'yay guys it was my birthday!' so no worries.

ofc i am happy to give you some opinions on both these books! honey girl was actually quite a disappointed for me. i was expecting to end up loving it since it includes topics i have loved to read about in the past (mental health, sapphic relationships, academia and race, the importance of queer support networks/'found families'). but in the end i was just kinda bored while reading it? i couldn't really connect with most of the characters, probably bc the plot was moving at such a weird pace. every time i was getting used to a setting or a set of characters the story would change locations or have a time jump that took me out of the story again. it was still an okay read and i would still recommend it to people who are looking for a queer contemporary that focuses on issues you face in your 20s, but i wasn't majorly impressed bc the writing style just wasn't for me.

pwmov was quite entertaining and i definitely had more fun with this one. but i also really like emily henry's writing style and i generally eat up the friends-to-lovers trope so i might be bias. it's definitely a lot more romance-y and lighter than honey girl, but that also means it makes heavier use of romance tropes. if you despise miscommunication tropes, i think you'll have hard time with pwmov. while i personally don't think it was a big issue, i can see why some people are annoyed by the use of this trope in this story since it is a major conflict. ((idk if it's spoilery since it's basically something you figure out right from the start as an attentive reader—but skip the rest of this parenthesis NOW if you like— but there is literally no reason why poppy and alex cannot be together other than that they are both too chicken to tell the other how they feel... i absolutely sympathize with this fear they have to open up to each other but some people are REALLY bothered by that so if you feel the same and you need a major conflict that is more intense you'll be disappointed with this one.)) another thing i saw people complain about is the non-linear narrative. i enjoyed the non-linear storytelling, but if that's not you're thing either i would definitely think twice about picking it up. it's easy to follow the story tho, so if you're on the fence about picking it up just bc of that i'd say give it a try. generally speaking i don't think this books is or did anything special. beach read was definitely better in my opinion and it brought much more to the table than many other romances. pwmov is different in that regard. it's full on romance without trying to add any interesting contemporary aspects. pwmov is just a cute, light friends-to-lovers romance that doesn't try to be much more, and if that's something you're in the mood for i'd recommend it, but if you don't really care about romance novels unless there is anything special about them you probably won't have the best of times with this book. ((i still think it's better than most romance novels that are out there bc emily henry writes realistic and relatable characters that employ common sense, so i'd rec it to people who like most romance novels))

[illnessfaker]

do you have any resources on OSDD? like more in depth than just the diagnostic criteria, i'm very familiar with those, i guess more...people talking abt what it feels like? I have cptsd and I've been noticing things very similar to what you described in your post for a long time now. I thought I had DID for sure a while ago, but I was also actively manic/psychotic, so when that calmed down I assumed I had just been delusional. But the identity disturbances and dissociation persist. I don't think it's DID now it's osdd if it's anything but I'm wary of saying that for sure and rly would like some i guess more descriptive accounts of how symptoms are for someone with it. Sorry if this is a lot/you don't have anything of that nature, I'm glad to hear you're figuring out your own multiplicity and hope the understanding helps you in your healing process!

firstly, thank you for your kind words 😊

@/this-is-not-dissociative has a lot of info about did/osdd-1 (and other dissociative stuff) as well as having did/osdd-1 vs. dissociation in bpd/cptsd - though it's possible to have did/osdd-1 and bpd/cptsd of course - and did-research.org talks about osdd-1 a little bit (especially vs. having full-blown did). these are probably the best resources i can point you towards even though they don't contain many personal accounts. the first blog is staunchly against self-dx iirc and there's a lot of "you should speak to a professional about this" but u know how it is (at the very least they provide a lot of info and resources on how to go about doing that, it seems.)

some posts in particular that may be informative/helpful to you (there are probably many reasons to dislike this blog but it's what i've found most informative so yeah):

anp and ep, + an explanation of structural dissociation and how it models ptsd, cptsd, bpd, osdd-1, and did.

anp and avoiding trauma

an example of did vs. osdd-1

parts in bpd/cptsd vs. osdd-1

parts in cptsd vs. osdd-1 (this mod "kevin" has osdd-1, by the way)

parts vs. fragments vs. alters

alters not being easy to recognize

identity confusion vs. identity alteration

( read-more bc this got long despite it being past my bedtime lmao )

the problem w personal accounts of stuff and did/osdd-1 is presentations of these diagnoes will differ from person to person, sometimes greatly. contrary to media depiction they're also covert disorders by nature - they're psychological coping mechanisms for intense distress, and part of those coping mechanisms is being ignorant to the fact that your sense of self is fragmented / there are parts of your sense of self that are attached to trauma. i know of several folks who were initially diagnosed with osdd-1 but then later re-diagnosed as having did because the severity of their situation was very effectively hidden from them by this dissociation.

( another problem is that ppl are flawed and can give bad/wrong info on how stuff works or trends can give the wrong impression and unfortunately that's very common w did/osdd-1 spaces online. e.g. u don't have to know the name, age, etc. or know who's "fronting" or whatever with elaborate tagging systems and pages on ur blog with said info abt ur parts or "alters" to have did/osdd-1. worrying abt that stuff too much can worsen dissociation. )

it's not common for someone to have did/osdd-1 and for it to be obvious to themselves or others (who don't know what to look for, that is). this is why no small number of folks with did/osdd-1 are seemingly well-functioning on the outside since different dissociated parts often serve "everyday life" purposes such as going to work/school and these parts are the ones disconnected from traumatic "materials" as they're called. part of the reason why i'm wanting to conceptualize my experiences as osdd-1 is due to the fact that my default state (the "host"?) is emotionally dissociated from my trauma - i know it happened, but it seemed like it happened to "this body" rather than "me" and i don't feel anything about it until i get triggered. "apparently normal parts" that handle everyday life are usually trauma-avoidant or separated from the trauma like this in some way.

that being said, i'm still not totally sure if i qualify for an osdd-1 diagnosis or not tbqh. my situation is most like the "some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts" mentioned in the page i above linked (but yesterday and this morning/afternoon i was convinced i did - go figure). i'd been researching did/osdd-1 for a while (not necessarily because i thought it was what i was experiencing) which is part of what helped me come to terms with having experienced dissociation for a long time, and i thought up until like...the other day i definitely didn't have it. i came to believe i had some weird bpd/cptsd/szpd-like situation where emotional states had been "locked away" in boxes that i rarely touched as a defense mechanism against psychological distress. i also had a metaphor for my "emotional part(s)" as it/them being like, (a) ghost(s) that follow me around and aren't evil but occasionally "wrap their hands around my throat" to remind me that they're there.

then i saw someone w an osdd-1 diagnosis talk abt how they have parts whose "job" is to "feel sadness for them" as a defense mechanism against that kinda distress and then i was like...huh. and then i thought about how seeing my parents again felt kinda weird and distant. and that's kinda what tipped me off, despite having a pretty unstable sense of self and dissociation issues for a while. the "seeing my parents" thing is somewhat more major, because it felt different from my "default setting." thinking about it is uncomfortable and weird.

ur gonna have to do a lot of reading, tbh, and doing it in moderation is probably a good idea since thinking too much abt dissociation can trigger it. another thing is that conceptualizing yourself as having did/osdd-1 when you don't actually have that experience can worsen dissociation/identity issues as well so u gotta be careful abt how u approach it. but at the same time, cptsd and did/osdd-1 have mostly the same treatment methods anyway (and technically u gotta have cptsd to have did/osdd-1, not as like a diagnostic requirement really but a "you have to be traumatized from long-term traumatic experiences at a young age" sense) so many resources abt did/osdd-1 may be helpful to u regardless of whether you "have" them or not.

i can't tell u how to differentiate between symptoms of psychosis and did/osdd-1 (the blog i mentioned may have posts about that topic - there's two in their master-posts but neither were particularly helpful i don't think) since afaik i'm not psychotic but i wish you luck!

[spacenintendogs]

i think abt the potential for wolf and katt and i'm just... GOD.

so i hc they actually were together and dated abt a year after the lylat wars after they kind of run into each other at whatever little place like a restuarant/bar on corneria and katt is fully aware of who wolf is and makes it known to him and he's like "ok everyone knows who i am?" and she then asks if he knows who she is. he says "i think we fought each other at one point during the lylat wars?" bc he genuinely doesn't know. why would he? he's probably only heard her voice through the communications channel and stuff. and she's like "okay sick just so you know i'm falco's friend" and he's like "ew."

but they keep talking and when katt doesn't disclose the type of work she does wolf can't help but laugh bc they're in the same boat in that regard. he says it's bc he did worse and she says she doubts it. katt explains that it's bc ppl know who he is like he said before, and that she's just smart enough to keep off the radar enough so she isn't in trouble. and he's like ok yeah.

and they kind of??? hit it off. they talk abt clothes (they have similar fashion sense), the ships they use (wolfen vs catspaw) and wolf is very cynical, i like to hc katt is more of an optimist. and she ends up asking him "what's stopping you from living?" and that's when he feels smth in his heart that's like oh

they end up seeing each other more and talking more to the point it's over calls and texting and she visits him and he visits her (star wolf usually in tow bc it'll be on the way to a job or smth). and finally katt asks wolf out and wolf is like YEAH. OKAY. AWESOME DUDE. I'D LOVE TO. bc i.... yeah i hc he never rlly had time for dating or to even think abt it and he's super awkward abt it bc genuine emotions.... emotional constipation... yeah

they're together for abt 3 years and it's good. they have arguments but it never devolved into anything damaging or a dealbreaker and stuff like that. she's wolf's first actual romantic partner. he rlly starts looking into himself and realizes he wants to tell her how he's feeling, how much he appreciates her, he wants her to know how he feels abt her and it's bc he wants to be better. he ends up wanting to be better for himself bc he knows it'll benefit... himself obviously but also everyone around him including her.

katt has dated before him, but she feels like he was her first like... she felt it would last. she'd been hung up on falco for so long and then here comes wolf who's alike to falco but the similarities stop. she worries at first if she does only like wolf for his similarities but then she starts thinking. wolf is actually with her and despite him having trouble, he's more upfront abt his feelings. he is trying, he doesn't brush her off. even as a friend, he doesn't act disgruntled by her presence. katt felt like wolf kept her steady, he kept her grounded in the reality they live in bc who he's known as effects everything for them. she gets caught up in the thrill of life so easily, she sometimes needs someone to just grab her hand and remind her she can't keep taking off the moment anything happens and jump head first into it a habit she and falco share

katt is wolf's first love. he says "i love you" first while they're on a date and he tried to explain how she makes him feel and he stops after bumbling abt and simply says "i love you." and katt says it back. they're both grinning like idiots the rest of the time.

their time dating is very much like, a genuine, sweet part of their lives they remember fondly, beyond fondly given their surrounding worlds they go to and live on. they do eventually break up, abt a year before the events of farewell beloved falco. katt starts her own team, with wolf's support but it becomes too much for them to handle and they know they can't exactly take any steps forward in their relationship. it's a mutual break up that they talk long and hard about and it's smth that they both kind of went "oh" abt. when wolf says good bye to katt as she leaves with her new team, that's when it's official. one more kiss, one more hug with them hesitating to let go, and it's done.

it's one of the only times star wolf can say they'd ever seen wolf cry openly. katt is sobbing by the time her ship takes off. it's a huge blow but they move on, they do what they need to do and they're glad that it even happened at all.

[just-jammin]

Yeah i dealt with one asshole today, don't worry we got it under control. And, quite fittingly, it's quite similar to your situation. Thought that guy was okay at first, then slowly started to show his true colors.

First of all. FUCK that guy. He fucking SUCKS. I know what it's like to have classmates who think theyre funny and prank and troll but actually they're pathetic excuses who want nothing but attention and I would shove them out the window.

Okay... I got that out of my system. Second of all, have you told anyone else about this guy's shenanigans? Like anyone else in class? Maybe even a teacher. Actually, most especially a teacher. These are stupid pranks that could affect your grade, so a teacher should know. You don't have to point blame, just inform your teacher of what he's been doing. Maybe get the foreigner groupmate you had to back you up and confirm.

oof, that sucks

at least your sitch's come and gone now ig...

yep, you're right, and speaks VOLUMES to me when everyone else is nice to me and vice versa.

except for one more dude but he's with The Frat Bois and he makes me confused and bewildered more than anything...

so far, i've only told one dude outside of The Other Boys abt it, but he's ALSO part of The Frat Bois and it was more of a confiding thingy than anything.

i wanna tell at least one of the class officers abt it bc they're the ones who handle most of the segregation of the class during group PETAs. most likely the Class President bc she's very cool.

methinks i'll only tell the adviser if he fucks up in a third PETA group bc i wanna see if he pisses off someone else (or maybe even multiple ppl) along the way

plus, i'm the leader of my group in both the PracRes and GenChem groups, so i could just give him a low score in evaluation or even omit his name from the group listing completely!

[nonbinary-support]

hey I'm not sure how to tell my family that I want top surgery, I'm nb and out but I just don't know how to bring it up

EDIT: it was brought to my attention that i assumed anon mean top surgery to create a flat chest rather than augmentation and i absolutely did and that was really shitty, i’m sorry. i’ve added examples for augmentation, but please keep in mind i do not experience transmisogyny and this isn’t a procedure i would be having or dealing with how to explain it to others. if anyone on this side of things would like to add on, PLEASE do!!

hey! yeah this is a super weird + tough topic to bring up and discuss.

do you have one family member you’re closer to than others? or that would be easier to discuss these kinds of things with? that’s always where i start.

even if you dont, i find it helpful to start wil one person, form that base, and then its not totally as scary when you tell the rest all together bc you know theyre there, they know, and maybe can even help you out and back you up.

as for actually going about it. there is gonna be a point where you just need to spit it out and its scary and awkward as hell. but you can start by easing into it saying things like. hey you know how some ppl transition all different types of ways. or, you know how i have dysphoria? 

if they dont know you have dysphoria (this is assuming you do. if you dont, ignore this :P) it might be easier to start with that. you can talk about you hey you know sometimes i feel weird with my body, like it should be different and it really gets me down and makes it hard to function. etc/whatever ur experience is

honestly talking about your feelings helps so much bc it helps them realize this is not some rash phase thing but that there are feelings behind this that warrant it. talk abt dyphoria/a disconnect with ur body/how it feels to not have a flat chest/to not have breasts/the desire/etc

for making your chest flat, you can say that some people get top surgery which is like a (ok just a warning im going to use the medical term for top surgery which is applied towards cis women) mastectomy, except its to make your chest look naturally flat. you have been thinking about this for a while and you know it is what would really help you and is something you need. 

for augmentation, that same last part, but it is also a more commonly done and known about procedure, so you will have less explaining/teaching to do of what the procedure actually entails. you can talk about dysphoria and/or the desire/need to have breasts and how that manifest for you like i talked about earlier, but you can also go at it from a non-purely physical standpoint.

you can talk about how maybe you already use breast forms, so you know this is something you want and you much prefer how you look in clothes with breasts to without (if applicable, you can add in the dysphoria again from being in clothing with a flat chest) you can also talk about how, if you’re wearing “women’s” clothing, most, like all, is made to accommodate breasts and not having them makes it very hard to find flattering clothing. this would allow you a wider range of clothing to choose from, allowing you again to possibly alleviate dysphoria from being able to wear the type of clothes you want to in the first place!

for a flat chest, the same goes in terms of binding. if you already bind, that offers “evidence” to them that you know what you look like with a flat chest and this is something you really want. you can talk about the dangers of binding that are inevitable, even when doing so properly. you can talk about what you already might experience, back/rib pain, trouble breathing, etc. too, you can also talk about binding under clothes and how it often does not give you as flat a chest as you would naturally have and the dysphoria possibly left over from that, as well as having to choose clothing based on how well it hides your chest/binder (material, thickness/weave, cut/looser, etc)

for flat chests, offering to show pictures can help bc often the picture they create in their mind is only from what theyve seen of mastectomies for cancer patients and they picture some weird scary mutilated image of their child/sibling/whatever (this is not at all to say that is what the chests of cancer survivors look like. this is to say they often only have that image so they use that as a base (inaccurate) and then turn that into what they perceive to be that gross Your Mutilating Ur Body cis trope)

but also, if they are not ready to see pictures, do. not. show. them. if they are not comfortable with u being trans already, this will make things worse. it can set you back a lot and that sucks but sometimes you just need to do whats gonna be best for you.

something that apparently really helped my mom was mentioning that worst case scenario, i could always get implants. of course, for me, this was and is never something that would be right for me or even be a consideration, but i needed her on my side and a parents thought is always What If You Change Your Mind. easing their worries helps your case even if it goes against you.

this goes for breast augmentation too, where you can say the same thing that you could always get them removed. you have the added benefit in terms of scars of being able to say that they tend to not be very noticeable or look different from a cis person’s augmentation. here, again, you can also show pictures. too, if theyre not ready to think of you as someone with breasts, don’t show them, because they will likely let that get in the way of letting you (if you need their permission) have surgery, and it will just affect their judgment anyway.

if they are okay with it though, you may even choose to show them cis and trans after pictures to show that it is not that different in case they are worried if you were ever stealth and someone “finding out” from your scars... idk. but pictures in general may very well be able to work in your favor because they can see how unobtrusive and natural the end result and scars typically are.

also, i would mention the size and show after pictures of ppl w/ that size and a similar body type to yours, and let them know, if applicable, that you are not going “ginormous” like many cis people first seem to think, idk why. that you just want natural breasts. and if you dont, thats absolutely your choice, but it may not be the best idea to tell them how precisely large you plan on going, though maybe a rough idea isnt such a bad idea so theyre not shocked and have time to picture you this way and become more comfortable with the idea of surgery, but yeah if you want large breasts, as in larger than typical or expected for your body type, they may see that as less "okay” and use that as an excuse to invalidate you/your needs.

i hope this was somewhat helpful. if you need anything more, feel free to msg us again :)

-emma

[leaughrilke]

i have a notion and it's lena teaching little stella how to play chess and it's entirely different from lena playing chess in her own house because there's so much laughter and casual teasing and stella uses her powers to cheat and then vehEMENTLY DENYING IT WHEN ASKED and maybe i'm just being extra

its so funny bc i’ve had a v similar notion sO LET ME YELL ABT IT SOME

stella is the only of the superbabies to show any interest in chess for more than a passing moment and is the only one to be able to sit still long enough for lena to teach her the game and lena’s like???  so excited when, one day when stella’s like four or five maybe, lena and kara are playing and stella nudges at lena’s arm until she moves it so she can crawl into her mom’s lap and she settles back against lena and studies the board with this v serious look and kara’s biting back a laugh until stella quietly requests show me mommy? and then kara’s softening and lena’s all but melting tbh like woah her kiddo want to play this game that lena loves a lot and she wants to learn??  she wants lena to teach her???

so lena goes out and gets this little children’s chess set the very next day, gets this set bc it has little labels on the board to indicate where each piece goes and it’s got this pretty mother of pearl inlay around the edge of the board, around the base of the pieces and lena knows stella will love it

they pick sunday afternoons for practice, lena lifting stella up to the big family calendar they keep in the kitchen so she can pick a day and put a little heart next to it.  so every sunday afternoon, right after stella’s napped for a bit, she bounces into lena’s study and watches v carefully as lena sets up the board, explaining what each piece is, what they do, where they go.  stella asks questions sometimes, but mostly she watches at first until she kind of gets an idea of what’s going on

but then when they get into the game??  hoo boy, stella is hilarious and pretty savage, like she’ll look at some move that lena’s made that she apparently doesnt approve of and will look up at her mother with this one raised eyebrow and sort of sigh really?  and it’s the cutest thing and lena cant help but laugh and stella’s rlly so sweet, she drops the look she’s giving her and starts laughing with lena and it will take them a fair few minutes to sort of reign it in

and omg as stella gets older??  she starts learning a few basic strategies, she does, but she’s still losing to lena basically every time (though every once in a while, lena throws it just because the look of elation on stella’s face is probably one of the brightest, purest things lena’s ever experienced) so she takes to poking holes in lena’s strategies, gently harassing her to try and get her off her game, but lena throws it right back at her, sort of narrowing her eyes and quirking an eyebrow when stella goes to move her knight when she has a pawn in perfect position and stella just sort of snorts, nods like yeah okay ya got me there

good god they laugh so so much during these games.  like they rlly do and lena is so so happy abt it like??  this is literally all she’s ever wanted, all she’s ever dreamed of for her kids.  they’re getting exactly what she never had, are able to feel safe enough that they poke fun at her like stella does when lena makes a careless mistake and leaves her king vulnerable (it’s not a mistake, it’s lena carefully working lessons into each of their games tbh, like she is nothing if not methodical)

an excerpt:

mom, oh my gosh, don’t you have, like, three advanced degrees?

don’t you have a move to make, stelly-bean?

and stella’ll groan at the nickname but she’s also grinning super wide, super bright and lena’s just??  basking in her happiness i guess

omg and when stella learns to read minds, it’s hilarious bc she’s not slick abt it.  like??  u can sort of feel her when she’s there, in ur head, like a little bump or nudge near the base of your skull, and lena thinks its hilarious that she’s trying that, that when she couldnt get a vibe for lena’s next move, she looked to lena’s mind and she sort of pokes a little fun at stella for it, asks we’re not cheating, are we? in such a gentle, teasing tone that has stella stammering, flushed, uh no of course not like why would you say that as i am perfect and have never done anything wrong in my entire life, ever

when stella gets older, she gets a lot better at reading ppl without them knowing, but kara and lena can always tell (mostly bc of that first psychic connection??  like they’re slightly more attuned to stella too) and so stella thinks she’s Rlly being Slick but lena sort of rolls her eyes and groans stella and its hilarious watching her daughter’s reaction, going from shock to worry to vague annoyance to out and out laughter as she tries to deny it, puts up a good fight before she’s reduced to giggles

like at some point its not even practice anymore, they just turn into weekly chess games, just for fun, just bc its calm and sweet and warm and when stella’s in college and Going Through Some Shit, it’s something to anchor her and lena loves that her daughter still likes the game, still likes spending time with her.  like??  they’ve only ever missed one sunday, bc stella had the flu, but that was made up for on tuesday when she felt better

and like??  chess sort of becomes this touchstone for them, like it always was for lena, but it also brought up some weird and painful things too, but now its just all good things, just stella and quiet sundays and laughing and messing up the board bc they needed to push the game to the side in order to set their ice cream bowls on the desk

like it sort of becomes a thing between them, like one mother’s day, stella gets lena this truly horrendous cat chess board bc she thought it was hilarious and lena laughs so hard she cries when she opens it (she still keeps it in her office though, next to one of her #1 Mom mugs and the pencil holder finn made in preschool

and then lena fires back with a fantasy inspired chess set for stella’s birthday, bc the dragon looks ridiculous and its just the thing stella loves to mock mercilessly

without fail, one of them always gets the other something chess related for any gift giving event.  one christmas, stella gets a purse shaped like a knight; on lena’s birthday one year, stella got her a set of bookends that looked like bishops, and so on and so forth

and then, to get ~emotional~, lena gifts stella her very own custom made chess set for her college graduation and stella treasures it for the rest of her life tbh, like it makes her feel warm and safe like she always did in her mom’s study, sunday afternoons, sipping tea between moves and laughing until her stomach hurts.  like ??  it’s just a tangible thing for all these good memories and honestly ???  im crying ????