#so i’ve seen people shipping them. but this is what i imagine any flirting attempts would be like.

[neuvifuri]

sampo: you look like… you could really pack it in.

gepard: on my honor as a knight of the silvermane guards and belobog, i hereby challenge you to a duel.

sampo: WHAT?!

gepard: you have insulted my honor-

sampo: no, i-

gepard: WHAT is meant by “pack it in”? where?!

sampo: you- no-

gepard: and what?! what is being packed into where?

sampo: you just look- i meant, like, you know… when you go camping you have to pack in. you have to load out. i’m sorry, i was looking- you just look like you have a big capacity… to, um… do you want to get a drink sometime?

gepard: *smacks him*

[storiesforallfandoms]

he’ll never see this ~ noen eubanks

word count: 1994

request?: yes!

“Hi can you do one imagine of Noen Eubanks, like, the reader is a tik toker or influencer something like that and they have a crush on each other,and they Fans are Shipping them.

Thanksss💖🖤💖🖤💖”

description: in which she admits her feelings for a fellow creator during a stream thinking he’ll never see it

pairing: noen eubanks x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

The sound of a new donation message coming in pulled you away from your game for a split second. The automated voice read the message out to you: “are there any influencers that you are totally crushing on right now?”

You chuckle to yourself as you turn back to your game. “You guys really wanna start something, huh? You realize this will be trending within an hour if I say anything.”

You glanced over at your chat to see they were begging you to tell them who your influencer crush was. You had mentioned a few times that there was a fellow influencer that you had a crush on, but you refused to admit who it was (for obvious reasons). Your viewers, however, were determined to find out who this mystery man you liked was.

“We promise we’ll keep it a secret,” you read, managing to catch one message before it disappeared into the void of never ending messages. “I don’t believe you guys at all.”

You laughed as you watched the chat blow up again. You finally paused your game and made your face cam bigger for the audience. “Okay, you know what? Fuck it, there’s no way he’ll ever see this and I’m not big enough of a content creator to have articles written about me. My influencer crush is Noen Eubanks. If you don’t know who he is, look him up on TikTok and you’ll totally understand why I have such a crush on him.”

Your chat went absolutely wild at this. You went back to playing your game, smiling to yourself as you did so. It felt nice to get that off of your chest, and you knew you were about to get a kick out of your fan’s reactions to this.

Like you said, you had no fear of Noen actually finding out what you said. You had a bit of a following, but it was nothing too big. Just enough that you could be classified as “Internet famous”, but not enough that admitting you had a crush on someone else who had a much bigger following than you would be a big deal.

Or so you thought.

After your stream, you decided to go right to bed. You were feeling tired and had to get up early to edit the video you were planning on uploading. You weren’t awake to witness the internet absolutely explode over your comment, but lucky for you it was still happening when you woke up the next morning.

When you checked your phone for the first time that day, you noticed that your notifications had blown up over night. You figured it was just your fans teasing you over your crush on Noen, which it partly was, but you noticed that it was also YouTube news Twitter accounts and internet tabloid accounts tagging you in their articles about your crush on Noen.

“Oh no,” you said, your eyes widening as you read through article after article, tweet after tweet.

Before you knew it, you had spent nearly two hours sat on the floor, reading through everything that mentioned both you and Noen. All the articles were the same: an brief introduction to you and your small Twitch/YouTube following, talking about you admitting to having a crush on Noen the night before, and asking whether the reading audience believed that you and Noen would make a good couple or not.

The reactions from fans were as entertaining as you figured - with many of your fans trying to come up with ship names for you and Noen and tagging him in clips from your stream - but then there were the less than entertaining reactions. Many people, whether they were Noen’s fans or just people who wanted to hate on you you weren’t sure, were saying you had mentioned Noen’s name just for clout, or that your “crush” was nothing more than an infatuation over his looks.

It wasn’t until your phone rang that you were finally pulled out of your trance and back to the real world. Your friend’s name lit up on your screen, and it took you a moment to collect yourself before you answered.

“(Y/N), have you been online yet today?” she asked.

You sighed and nodded, then remembered she couldn’t actually see you. “Yeah, I’ve been scrolling for the past two hours on Twitter.”

“You haven’t checked your Twitch page, or YouTube account yet?”

Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “No? Should I?”

“You definitely should.”

You put her on speaker and switched to your Twitch app. You were shocked to see that you had skyrocketed in subs overnight, same with your YouTube page. You had gained a solid ten thousand subscribers on both platforms, and it was still rising by the second.

“So this situation has gained me more subscribers, who cares? That’s not why I talked about Noen on stream,” you said.

“Oh no, honey. It isn’t just the situation that has given you new subscribers. Go check Noen’s Twitter.”

You knew what she was implying, but you had to see it for your own eyes. You immediately opened the Twitter app again and typed in Noen’s name. You were brought to his Twitter page, where his most recent tweet was a link to the clip from your stream along with a caption that read, “When your internet crush calls you *their* internet crush”.

You covered your mouth in shock. You were sure you were about to start screaming, but you were so speechless that you couldn’t force any sounds from your mouth.

“I’m assuming by the silence that you’ve seen it,” your friend said after a prolonged moment of silence.

“D-Did he just c-call me his...?” you trailed off, unable to finish your sentence.

“He did,” your friend confirmed. “And both of your fans are going wild. They’ve already come up with a ship name for you, which isn’t the most clever name but I admire their spirit.”

You could barley hear what your friend was saying. You were still staring at the tweet in disbelief. Your mind could barley comprehend anything else besides the fact that your online crush thought the same as you. You were trying to tell yourself not to get too worked up, as it was most likely that nothing was going to come from this besides some gossip for a week or more, but your heart was still racing with excitement.

You gasped as a notification popped up on the top of your screen: “@/eubanks_noen is requesting to message you”.

“He’s trying to DM me,” you whisper, so silently that you could barley hear yourself.”

“What?”

“He’s trying to DM me! On Twitter!”

“What are you doing talking to me?! Go answer his DM!”

You were too focused to laugh as you hung up the phone and went into your DMs. The familiar profile picture that you saw almost every day on your timeline was the first thing you saw in your message requests. Your whole body was shaking so much that you could barley see the screen as you pressed to open it.

“hi :)”

It was a very simple message, but it was enough to make your heart race even more.

You were debating on messaging back, wondering if maybe this was a fake account or something. But you knew there was only one way to find out for sure, so you took a deep breath and responded.

“hi! :)”

His response came near seconds later: “so...we’re the internet’s hottest power couple, huh?”

You chuckled to yourself. “i guess we are. sorry if i ruined your mentions last night. i didn’t think it would blow up the way it has. i’m not all that famous online.”

“are you kidding me? you’re like one of the best twitch streamers. i’ve watched every single one of your streams, including last night’s”

You felt your face heating up, but a slight groan of embarrassment came from your lips. You were thinking of all the embarrassing things you had said and done on stream, and now wished you could just melt into the floor or erase the entire internet.

“oh that’s embarrassing. i’d say i’m not that awkward and dumb in real life, but i’m actually more so”

“i wouldn’t say you’re awkward or dumb at all. i think you’re adorable”

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed to no one in particular. If your face got any hotter, it would be on fire.

“you really know how to talk to a girl”

“i really don’t, but i’m glad you’re enjoying my attempts to flirt”

“so you’re flirting? never would’ve known”

“i know, it’s hard to tell. i’m trying to be subtle”

You continued to message Noen for a while. It felt so natural, as if you weren’t talking to someone you had been crushing on for about a year now. You were extremely glad you weren’t coming off as awkward as you normally felt.

Finally, after having been sat on the floor for a good three hours, your back began to ache and your stomach was growling so loudly in attempts to get your attention. You realized then that you had put getting breakfast on hold in order to fall deep into the hole of internet gossip that had surrounded you overnight.

“love talking to you and all, but i’m gonna have to go for a little bit. i’ve been sat on the floor basically since i woke up and i haven’t eaten yet today so my stomach is very upset with me”

“why are you on the floor? 😂”

“when i’m stressed i tend to sit down no matter where i am, and i was very stressed to see my name plastered all over social media this morning”

“why were you stressed over that?”

“it’s not something i’m exactly used to. like i said, i’m not overly famous online. i just have a small following. i’m not someone who has an article written about every little thing she says. also like i said, i didn’t expect you to see me admit that i have a crush on you last night, so i was so worried about what your reaction was going to be”

“i guess i can understand that. i haven’t had a lot written about me. i’m not a big tiktoker like some of my friends are, but i guess that’s a blessing”

You started to type another message, but paused when you saw the three dots from Noen indicating that he was typing something else.

“for what it’s worth, i’ve had a internet crush on you since you first started streaming”

Your jaw dropped at this. You had started streaming months before you even knew about Noen, which meant he had known about you before you knew about him. Just when you thought this day couldn’t get any better.

“wow! that’s quite a while. you must be one of my first subscribers then”

“i’m up there i think. i’ll wear that badge with pride”

The three dots again. You waited anxiously to see what he was about to say.

“i liked getting to talk to you today, though. maybe we could talk offline sometime, like through text or phone call. maybe meet in person eventually”

Your smile was so wide that it hurt your cheeks. “yeah, i’d really like that”

You exchanged phone numbers and added his to your contacts. You finally pulled yourself off the floor and started making a super late breakfast while also starting to edit your next video since you had also gotten such a late start on that.

You were putting your food on a plate when your phone chimed, indicating a new text message.

“btw, it’s nice to finally get to meet you internet crush :)”

“it’s nice to get to meet you, too, internet crush”

You sat at the table, your heart feeling warm. And to think, it all came true thanks to one nosy donation.

Not sure how much I like this imagine, but I hope you enjoyed anyways!

[disdaidal]

@lovebillyhargrove​ & @aestheticchaoss​

—

Billy Hargrove

First impression

I remember thinking that he’s really, really pretty, although his prepubescent stache also amused me at the same time. Another thing that amused me as well was his nearly desperate attempts to prove everyone around him that he’s the baddest fucking bitch in town - the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to Hawkins, Middle of Nowhere, like ever.

Now... I didn’t dislike him during season two by any means. But, I wasn’t exactly blown away by his character either. Back in 2018 when I finally decided to take up this show on Netflix, I binge-watched both seasons one and two in one go - which, unfortunately, in my case, often means brainless watching. I don’t pay enough attention to certain details or care enough to understand the reasons behind actions.

Looking back at it, Billy’s season two character really didn’t get enough screentime overall and his character was... idk, written kind of shallow too? I mean, he wasn’t a main character in that season anyway, so the Duffels really didn’t care explaining a whole lot of things about him, his past or his history with Max.

And so, unfortunately, I ended up finding him a pretty forgettable character in the end. To me, he was basically just a bully (a pretty bully at that), and yet another villainous side character to me. Nothing more, nothing less.

Impression now

He’s my precious gay son. I dug him out of the trash can and I adopted him.

Okay, no, seriously. When I finally made the decision to watch season three last summer, I knew that season was going to be different and probably fuck me up in a whole new, different way (seasons 1 & 2 did that to me).

But I never thought - I never expected - that character to be Billy Hargrove.

Everything that he went through  that season, all the shit he went through in his past. Just... no. Fuck no.

He might’ve been a huge, walking cunt (no pun intended) in the show for the most part, but he deserved a second chance at least. He deserved a fucking chance, alright? Even a small moment of happiness in his life. Someone to show him kindness, to care for him. The moment he gets that, when someone sees through him and everything he’s gone through and makes him feel things (other than anger), it’s instantly taken away from him - in the most cruel, brutal way possible.

I felt so betrayed by the end and I was so angry. I refused to accept that this is how they’d decided to end things with him, for him. I was so mad and I still am.

Favorite moment

The Shower Scene. Hands down.

That was the scene (and, speaking of brainless binge-watching, yes, I totally forgot all about this scene between them, so, imagine my surprise) that made me ship Billy and Steve so hard. Even today, I cannot, I literally cannot watch that scene without squirming and not thinking (*gaaayyyyyyy*).

There’s just... too much... not straight going on with that scene. Orchestrated by Billy Hargrove and Billy Hargrove alone.

Idea for a story

Look... I have way too many ideas in my head right now, I don’t even know where to begin, where to start. But okay? A porn star AU. Okay? Porn stars. That’s what I wanna.

Unpopular opinion

Well... I do not think he’s racist. Because he’s not, end of story. So antis can suck my titties.

Second... I don’t think he was justified to beat Steve into a bloody pulp over a lie and a simple misunderstanding. I understand the reasons behind it, but what he did was still wrong and fucked up.

(i’ve seen people defend him over that thing multiple times so)

Favorite relationship

Well duh, Steve. Also, despite of Billy and Max having a difficult relationship in s2, they clearly cared about each other in s3, and I was disappointed that we could never actually witness that development happening between them. Also, Billy and Heather. I wish we could’ve seen them properly interact with each other, without all the flayed bullshit.

Favorite headcanon

Ugh, too many hcs. But I always go soft for Billy being broken and hurt and Steve taking care of him. Also that Billy’s really fucking smart and would do well at school but all he worries about is his bad boy image. Also that he’s actually gay and just pretending to be straight, and so he keeps on flirting with all the Karens in the neighbourhood while being hopelessly in love with a certain pretty boy with a great head of hair.

[mst3kproject]

The Phantom from 10 000 Leagues

I found this movie online while looking for From Hell It Came (which I haven’t yet found – someday I will and then you’ll all be sorry) and it looked bad, so I checked out the details.  Turns out it stars Kent Taylor from The Crawling Hand, Cathy Downs from The Amazing Colossal Man, and was written by Lou Rusoff, who was behind It Conquered the World, The She-Creature, and… oh god, he also wrote Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow.  This is gonna suck goat nads.  I must watch it right away.

You shouldn’t picture me groaning when I write stuff like that, by the way.  You should picture me giggling like a maniac and rubbing my hands together with glee.

A monster is killing people at sea near an incredibly bleak and depressing California college town, and the bodies and wrecked boats it leaves in its wake are scorched by radioactivity! Washington sends Agent Grant to find out what’s going on, and he soon discovers that the Pacific College of Oceanography is positively overflowing with suspicious characters.  There’s the reclusive and paranoid Professor King, who is working on weird experiments in his locked laboratory.  There’s King’s assistant George, who follows him around and hides in the bushes to watch what he’s doing.  King’s secretary Ethel blames the professor for the death of her son and wants revenge, and George’s girlfriend Wanda is a foreign agent.  Not to mention the visiting Dr. Stevens, a radiation expert with an unsettling habit of turning up just in time to discover the bodies.  Someone among this motley crew has created a sea monster… and someone else is planning to sell it to the highest bidder!

You know how some movies save their monsters until the last minute, in order to build suspense?  Or because what we imagine is always scarier than what we actually see?  Or because the monster sucks and they’re ashamed of it?  Or some combination of the above?

Phantom from 10 000 Leagues is not one of those movies.  Before we’re even a full minute into it, the monster has appeared on screen in all its ridiculous glory.  Stevens calls it a hideous beast that defies description but I think I can make an attempt.  It looks sort of like the lovechild of a saber-toothed tiger and the Horror of Party Beach.  There’s a ridge down its head and back like an iguana and a poorly-camouflaged window in its neck so the dude inside can see what he’s doing.  The whole costume is also rather buoyant, and the actor is having to work hard to stay underwater.  Sadly, this beast remains lurking in the depths and never shambles out onto the beach to menace sunbathers, which is the only thing it would have needed to make it a perfect bad movie monster.

The creature is not the only nuclear threat in this movie… or even the silliest one!  During an investigatory dive, Stevens discovers a glowing patch on the seafloor which he says represents an ‘activated’ uranium deposit with the potential to form a naturally-occurring death ray!  We finally get to see this in action when stock footage of a ship passes over it – and turns into a different ship that immediately blows up! I’m just sad this only happens once. The glowing stone itself is represented by a mirror with a light shining on it in underwater shots, and by the reflection of the sun when seen from the surface.

So the effects are not special and make an already silly threat even more hilarious.  What about the story?  Like all cheap monster movies, the focus of The Phantom from 10 000 Leagues is not the creature killing people but the investigation into it.  There’s a large number of potential monster-makers here, which could have made the movie a bit messy – but by the time the words The End appear, we know who all these people are, how they’re involved, and what they hope to accomplish.  Even the women are given distinct motivations and personalities, although those fall neatly into the ‘maiden, mother and whore’ tropes I’ve discussed in the past. The dialogue is not exactly subtle, but it seems like I can’t wholly blame Lou Rousoff for Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow.

It’s also nice that, despite the preponderance of White Men In Suits (Stevens and Grant both walk along the beach in suits and ties at all hours of the day and night), the characters all look different enough that I can tell them apart!  None of the cast are great actors, with a lot of stilted or awkward line deliveries, but then, a lot of the things they’re saying are completely ridiculous, so I probably can’t lay that entirely at their feet.

Unfortunately, the plot of Phantom From 10 000 Leagues is rather unfocused, and like so many of these films it’s not sure who its main character is.  It seems like either Agent Grant or Dr. Stevens, who are each conducting some kind of investigation into the goings-on, ought to be the protagonist… but both are introduced in contexts that make them seem potentially suspicious.  Dr. Stevens is actually significantly more suspicious than Grant, because when he first turns up he gives a fake name, and later proves to have actually performed experiments with mutating sea life in the past.  Yet for much of the movie, it’s Stevens we’re watching, as he cozies up to Professor King and flirts with King’s daughter Lois.  He actually gets far more screen time than Grant, with the latter sometimes being out of the movie for long enough that the audience kind of forgets he’s there.

Stevens and Lois’ love story is, as is probably inevitable for a movie of this kind, completely bland.  Kent Taylor and Cathy Downs have no appreciable spark between them, and one gets the uncomfortable impression that he’s about twice her age. The movie never offers even an approximate age for either character, but Lois is still unmarried and living with her father, which in the 1950s suggests she’s in her early twenties.  King describes Stevens as a ‘young man’ but between his appearance and his impressive academic credentials he’s obviously not, and when I looked up the actors I learned that Taylor was forty-eight when The Phantom from 10 000 Leagues was made, while Downs was twenty-nine.  That’s… well, they’re both adults, but he’s still old enough to be her father, and the younger we assume they both are, the worse the two decade gap gets.

Once we actually get to know the characters, the solution to the mysteries is fairly obvious, but this lets us spend some actual time with these men and find out what they think about the situation.  Stevens, who’s been down this road before, wants these terrible experiments to stop before any more people get hurt.  King, hearing about it for the first time, is more excited about what he might be able to learn by building on Stevens’ work. This represents an interesting inversion because if you’ll recall, King is supposed to be significantly older than Stevens (though actor Michael Whelan was actually born only five years before Taylor).

Usually knowledge and wisdom are both associated with age.  This is a very old trope and has some fairly sound logic behind it: the elderly have had longer to learn and to experience.  In Phantom from 10 000 Leagues, however, we have the older Professor King excited by the ground-breaking discoveries made by a younger scientist and wanting to learn more about them, even when the (supposedly) younger Stevens warns him about Tampering in God’s Domain.  Each assumes the role their ages might make us expect of the other.

This is reflected in their respective fields: depending on how you define it, oceanography is as old as mankind.  Humanity has been mapping the seas for as long as we’ve known how to sail across them, and marveling at the monsters we pull from its depths for as long as we’ve been catching fish.  That is the Professor King’s domain. Stevens, on the other hand, is a specifically nuclear scientist. Nuclear physics technically begins with the discovery of radioactivity in the 1890’s, but it seemed like a new and scary field in the 1950s, as the development of atomic weapons forced scientists to take a closer look at the phenomenon’s effect on living tissues. To King, who is an expert in another field, the possibilities of this relatively new work outweigh the potential consequences.

As sloppy and poorly-made as Phantom from 10 000 Leagues can be, this contrast between Stevens and King does make it a movie with something to say.  It of course has the standard moral for a fifties atomic monster piece, about paths science is not meant to tread, but it also wants us to think about that connection between age and wisdom.  On the one hand, King’s interest in Stevens’ work tells us that you’re never too old to learn something new.  On the other, just because somebody is young doesn’t mean they have nothing to teach. If King had taken in Stevens’ wisdom along with his knowledge, a lot of suffering need not have happened.

Even if you’re not into that, the crappy monster, the bad acting, the ridiculous science, and all the sneaking around and backstabbing that goes on makes Phantom from 10 000 Leagues plenty of fun watch.  It’s much like Beginning of the End in that it ticks all the MST3K boxes, while remaining coherent enough that you can enjoy the actual story along with the badness.

[diamondsaregold]

“Unraveled” – Robin x MC

Pairing: Robin (M!) x MC (F!) The Nanny Affair, Choices

Rating: T Summary: After walking in on a private moment between Sam and MC, Robin is forced to make sense of his jealousy and comes face-to-face with an unbridled truth—his burgeoning affinity for her. A conversation between the two at the company picnic makes clear that their entangled feelings are more real than both of them could have ever imagined. A/N: Well, we saw a lot of Robin’s angry face in the last chapter—so much that I began indulging myself in the fantasy that seeing MC with Sam made him jealous. Somehow the fact that this is a “one-LI book” (fingers-crossed that this could change, although the fact that M! Robin is Bradshaw in a Wig makes this fantasy highly unlikely) only makes the idea of Robin more enticing. Please enjoy this introspective re-imagining of Chapter 10, starring a grumpy, jealous Robin coming to terms with all his feelings. Also, it’s been awhile since I posted on Tumblr, hello! I’ve missed you all. Life has been treating me well and I hope it has for you too. Sending virtual hugs your way.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25775095

------------------------------------------------------------

Robin knew he was being childish. 

The annual company picnic was a well-earned break for the team at Dalton Enterprises, a rare opportunity for his colleagues to enjoy the New York sunshine and decompress from their hectic work lives. At the park, flocks of employees gathered around gingham picnic blankets while chattering away; around the corner, a queue of people lined up at the stalls to pick up their complimentary lunch from the gourmet caterers, personally requested by Sam. On everyone’s face was a beaming smile.

Everyone, except for Robin.

Sitting on a blanket on the edge of the park, Robin stormily surveyed the chipper scene about him. After picking up his sandwich (some sort of fancible concoction of tuna and high-end mayonnaise) and grudgingly thanking the staff, he had stomped over to an empty picnic blanket. He did his best to swerve around employees looking to start a conversation with him and cut off any exceptionally friendly colleagues with terse one-word remarks. 

No doubt, his foul demeanor at the company picnic was drawing curious looks from his colleagues. As he unwrapped his sandwich, he caught the next group over murmuring in low voices while shooting surreptitious glances at him. He couldn’t blame them for gossiping. It was unusual for him to depart from his charming self, let alone at one of the most anticipated social events in the company. On an ordinary afternoon, he’d be walking through the park, darting in and out from different groups, trading jokes with all the employees he passed by. After a lifetime of being second-best to an over-achieving brother, Robin took care to maintain his sociable persona—it was the only thing he had going for him, after all.

But after what he had seen that afternoon, he honestly couldn’t care less about his image. It was a scene that had been burned into his mind for the past three hours. Robin stared down at his uneaten sandwich, losing his appetite as he recalled.

There they stood—just a few feet apart from each other, clothes slightly rumpled, faces flushed and breathing hard. Sam and his nanny, caught seconds away from (or perhaps seconds after) what appeared to be a secret rendezvous at work. Upon Robin’s incredulous interrogation, she had haltingly explained that they had been “discussing work.”

He couldn’t resist an eye roll. While he certainly wasn’t the genius that Sam was, Robin was no fool. He wasn’t blind to the flush on his older brother’s face, the way his body was angled towards hers even as they stood far apart and avoided Robin’s eyes. What gripped him wasn’t a smug glee that his uptight, perfect brother had finally gotten caught with a woman (his nanny, no less) at work—it was the stab of pain Robin felt.

Staring at her, with the collar of her shirt crumpled and hastily smoothed down (by who, he wondered), her lips slightly parted, Robin felt a coil in his stomach twisting and unraveling. It lasted for a second, before boiling away and leaving rage in his wake.

He had snapped at them, scolded them for their inappropriate behavior at work, before stomping off. The rest of the day Robin had spent stewing in his office, glowering at any employees who attempted to speak to him.

Now under the sunlight of a perfect New York afternoon, Robin was continuing to mope around at the picnic. He had a scowl etched into his face during all of his exchanges with her, as he made sure to throw out snide comments about the state of her relationship with his brother, much to the bewilderment of their colleagues. The flash of annoyance on his brother’s face almost made him feel better, until he saw the hurt on her face. 

Great. If his day couldn’t get any worse, now he was being a colossal asshole to her.

Why was he so angry? Robin bit into his sandwich, not tasting anything (guess those gourmet ingredients Sam loved weren’t doing their job; he gave a silent shoutout to his taste buds for tapping out). As he chewed on the tasteless lunch, he sifted through his memories.

It wasn’t like their flirting before had meant anything to him. It was just a game to both of them.

The first time he saw her at Sam’s apartment he was immediately intrigued—a bright-eyed graduate with a sharp tongue, shaking her head amusedly with a raised eyebrow as he introduced himself with his usual lilt and charm. It was a warm exasperation that sang, “I can handle you,” not a reaction Robin was used to receiving. When Sam wasn’t looking, he appreciatively took in her pin-straight, stylish attire, the gentle sway of her hips as she walked across the living room, the pucker of her lips when one of the boys said something unsavory. He found her attractive, incredibly so, but he also caught the heated glances she and Sam shot each other.

And so Robin shrugged off his crush. He wasn’t one to commit anyways, especially not to a woman he had just met. From a young age, he had lived by an unspoken rule that whoever Sam wanted was out of his bounds; any woman who liked his brother wasn’t going to like him anyways. He felt a snide joy too at the revelation that Sam, the straight-laced, faultless CEO, engaged to a woman he harbored no love for, was on the brink of jumping ship for his pretty nanny. Talk about tabloid perfection and PR disaster.

It was Robin who had continued to flirt with her for the expressed purpose of seeing that unbecoming scowl on his brother’s face every time he winked at her. They played the “Make Sam Jealous” game, a form of entertainment that Robin had enjoyed for as long as he could recall. This particular round with her, however, was far more pleasurable than any he could remember before. A breeze swept through Central Park, fanning across Robin’s steadily warming face, as he remembered that night.

At the engagement party, he had whisked her away onto the dance floor before suggesting teaming up to make him jealous. The rush when he slid his arms around her waist, hearing her tinkling laugh as he pulled her close and Sam’s distracted stumbling on stage, was more potent than any childlike glee at pissing off his brother. Robin found himself enjoying this secret plot as a treasured chance to drink in the little details of her—the smattering of freckles across her cheeks, the crinkle of her nose when Sofia began her drawling speech, the mischievous gleam in her chocolate eyes that he had learned early on was an indicator of a devious idea.

When she leaned in and whispered, “Kiss me,” Robin had frozen under the headiness of her gaze. For a split second he forgot that they were playing a game. That she, one of the most enchanting women he’d ever met, presently asking him for a kiss, wasn’t his brother’s nanny. That it wasn’t his brother, who was currently standing (glistening, like a goddamn vampire) under the headlights on the stage, that she wanted.

As Robin stared down at his sandwich, perfectly intact except for the single bite he had taken, he felt that coiling sensation return to his stomach. He shot to his feet, almost stepping on a neighboring group’s picnic blanket in his rush to get out. “Sorry,” he muttered, before hurrying off the lawn, dumping his mostly uneaten sandwich into the nearest trash can.

Weaving between the groups meandering about the food stalls, he made sure that he had jogged a safe distance away from the rest of the party, before pressing his hands into his forehead and letting out a groan.

What was he thinking? Falling for a woman that didn’t—couldn’t—want him. He couldn’t have entertained affections for any other single, available woman in the world? Robin scowled at the couple walking across the street from him, swinging their hands between them as they strolled.

Typical. He always wanted the things he couldn’t have.

The sound of a soft, familiar voice caught his attention. Robin turned around to see the woman that had been occupying his mind for the past few hours. There she was, standing several feet away from, presently ordering food from one of the stalls.

He watched as she read over the menu, scrunching her face as she read over each item. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, exposing the skin of her shoulders. She looks good in plaid, Robin mused, as his gaze trailed over her legs and her jean shorts, different from her usual formal outfits he saw her in. Usually, she looked so prim and serious; the only tell of her spunk was the flash in her eyes, which only appeared when he said something vastly inappropriate (and hilarious, so he thought). Here, in her casual attire, she seemed far more at ease. With her windswept hair and her summery top rippling gently, she looked like a vision—the perfect nanny, he thought wryly.

When she took her order—vanilla ice cream, he noted with curiosity—from the vendor, Robin shook himself out of his outfit-induced stupor. Vaguely, he considered that it might be a good idea for him to stay away from her, but when did he listen to good ideas? Raking his fingers through his hair quickly to smooth it down, he stuffed his hands into his jeans and strolled up to her.

 “You’re a hard woman to catch alone, you know?” He kept his voice as smooth as possible, trying for an air of friendly detachment.

When she whipped around, he caught the wariness in her face, for a second, before it dissolved. Ah. He supposed he couldn’t blame her, after the temper tantrum he had been throwing for the entire afternoon.

Her voice was careful, measured. “I wasn’t aware you had been trying.” Her eyes darted away, as if she wanted to escape his prying gaze—or, as if she were searching for someone else.

The thought stoked a lance of rage within Robin; he felt as if he were walking in on her in the lab again, clothes disheveled, only feet away from his brother. Crossing his arms, he stepped forward and met her gaze head-on.

"After what I saw at the lab, talking to you is all I've been able to think about." His words spilled out in an agitated rush, as he struggled to hold back the question burning in his stomach.

“What the hell is going on between you and Sam?”

Her forehead creased, but she didn’t look away. Robin noted that her eyes glowed hazel under the sunlight. “You want the truth?” Her voice was level and low, just as business-like as how she composed herself whenever Sofia was terrorizing the house or the twins were bickering again. "I admit I find him attractive. But that doesn't mean I can't respect boundaries." 

She was too calm. Far too calm. Robin swallowed the wave of bitterness, edged with a smoldering anger, rising in his throat. "It didn't look like there were any boundaries when I walked in on you two in the lab,” he bit back, ignoring the flush of heat spreading across his cheeks. “Care to enlighten on what precisely happened before I entered the room?”

At his snide remark, her face morphed into a scowl; she crossed her arms defensively (good, he preferred anger to the hurt on her face). Two could play this game, he supposed. “That is none of your business,” she retorted, as her cheeks flushed to mirror his own.

Unbelievable. “You made it my business when I saw you with Sam, alone, in the lab!”

“You know what they say about assuming, Robin.” 

God, even when she was angry, he loved hearing his name fall out of her mouth.

Robin stepped back, letting his hands fall to his sides. “Look.” He mulled over his churning thoughts and rubbed a hand over his forehead, exhaling heavily. “Sam is a great guy. Maybe, in another life, you two could’ve been great together.” He forced the admission out, despite the ache that accompanied it. “But in this life, he has a family and fiancee that he’s responsible to. Whatever is going on between you two needs to end.”

Her gaze drifted to the floor as his words reached her. “The last thing I want to see is you getting hurt,” he continued on, feeling a hitch in his voice as he attempted to steer away from the less gilded version of the truth. “I was onboard for making him mad when I thought he didn't want me sleeping with his nanny. I didn't know I was making him legitimately jealous.”

He swallowed, before continuing on. “I thought it was just some innocent flirtation between you two. But it’s not, is it?”

It was the realization—that there was a deeper connection between her and Sam, a bond that he was not privy to—that twisted the knife further into his side. Judging from her inability to meet his eyes and the slow hunch of her shoulders, he guessed that it was hitting her too.

This wasn’t a fantasy. It was real.

Robin’s words, for once, were all dried up. There was nothing he could summon up to dissolve the tension that had formed between them, an impenetrable barrier of “what-ifs.”

What if she weren’t his brother’s nanny? What if they had met first? The knowledge that Sam probably mulled over these possibilities before as well, that they were both pining after a woman that they couldn’t have, only left a bitter taste in his mouth.

At the lull in the conversation, her head hung down. They were silent for a few moments, before she spoke quietly. There was an edge of desperation to her voice he had never heard before. “I don't know what to do.”

“I’d make a suggestion, but I know you wouldn’t listen.” It wasn’t a snide remark—he meant it. Robin had seen enough of her fierce resolve to know that she made her own choices. Once she made up her mind, she would listen to no one. It was one of the qualities he admired most about her. Her hair slipped in front of her eyes, and he suppressed the urge to sweep it back for her.

She locked his eyes on him, and he suppressed a swallow. Gaze trailing over her collar and neckline, he took note of a gold necklace he hadn't seen before; he wondered if it was a gift from Sam. “I just wish I could go back to a few weeks ago,” she murmured, twisting her hands together. “Before this all blew up. Before I had all these things to consider.”

“Like last weekend’s engagement fete?”

She let out a laugh, a chiming sound that Robin tried to commit to his memory. “I have to admit that party was the highlight of my month.”

He grinned, besides himself, and leaned in closer. “What, conspiring with me to make my brother jealous?” He tried to hide the bitterness from his voice.

Clearly, it didn’t fool her. Her eyes softened as she peered up at him.

It was her eyes that first drew him to her—a gaze that never wavered. He was enchanted by the way she looked at people—at strangers, at the twins, at Sam too. How quickly her eyes shifted, from deep and reflective, to sparkling and joyous, to furious and flashing. She was never afraid to be vulnerable, to be honest, or to take a risk that might leave her reeling. She wasn’t like him; she didn’t have to hide behind layers of charming one-liners and flirty comments. She was real.

She took a breath. “Actually...I was thinking about dancing with you. That was my favorite part of the night.” His mouth fell open slightly, and she paused. “Thanks for kissing me, by the way. It was a spur-of-the-moment sort of thing. I didn’t expect you to play along.” Maybe it was his imagination, but he could’ve sworn that her eyes gleamed when she made the last statement.

For a guy who prided himself in easily making friends and charming the living daylights out of strangers, Robin had spent his entire life dutifully preventing people from becoming too close to him. He was accustomed to covering up his feelings when they became too strong for him to paper over with charisma. When a relationship entered serious territory, he’d hit the panic button—irritate his girlfriends enough to get them to dump him in public, to cause a scene that’d distract himself and the world from what was turning over inside of him. It was better to keep them away than to let them down eventually; it was inevitable, given his own history of dissapointment in his family. 

Robin had already accepted the fact that he would never be number one in anything—but he’d be damned if he would be last. He wouldn’t be made a fool by anyone or anything.

Yet standing in front of her, on a picturesque day at the park, Robin found himself questioning everything he believed in. Amidst the tangled threads of attraction, the rocky waters of company protocol and forbidden relationships, there was something pure about the moments he had spent with her. When he had whisked her away from Sam at the engagement party, murmuring conspiratorially into her ear, “You look like you could use a break,” he saw the visage of his honeyed words slipping away. Sam and the engagement party could have erupted into flames for all he cared. All he wanted, in that moment, was to hold him in her arms.

There was a yearning, growing within him, that he couldn’t hold back now.

“You know I didn’t kiss you just to piss off Sam, right?”

Her eyes widened, then narrowed, at his sudden admission. Robin should have taken that as a sign to bite his tongue, but the train couldn’t be stopped anymore.

Ever since Robin was young, his father had always chided him to slow down. An audio recording of him yelling, “Be more careful, Robin!” could have very well been the soundtrack of his childhood. Unlike the cautious Sam, Robin was naturally reckless, always seeking out thrills to the dismay of his image-obsessed family. Try as he might to tamper his impulsiveness though, his efforts were never enough for their father. 

The one time that Sam had ever been impulsive in life was when he had stolen her away for a private moment only hours ago—before being interrupted by Robin, no less. It was she who had driven his perfect brother to put his career and his livelihood on the line

Robin was beginning to understand why Sam had been so careless over these past few weeks, so apparently willing to risk everything he had ever worked for. It was her.

He stepped closer, gazing down at her. Breathing in her scent, he drank in the gentle curve of her face and her neck, framed by her windswept hair. He imagined Sam standing in the same position just hours ago, before his lust-addled brain banished that thought.

He was already standing on the edge of the cliff; he knew he may as well jump off.

“I kissed you because I wanted to.”

Her lips parted, and he was descending, diving, drowning into the pool of her eyes.

Leaning down, Robin brushed a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear, revelling in the softness of her skin. She was so close that he could count all of her freckles, see that her lips formed the shape of a heart. Perfect. 

Finally, finally. All he could register was the aroma of her soft floral perfume, the dim memory of their last kiss a week ago, an ache that Robin didn’t realize was throbbing in his chest for too long, begging for release.

He was a fool, but he didn’t care. Robin saw her eyes flutter close, before his followed suit—

“Hey, come see Mickey cannonball into the fountain!”

They leapt apart, putting an appropriate amount of space between them just before Mason came sprinting up to the pair. His hair was sopping wet, leaving Robin afraid to see the state of Mickey’s. The other twin in question came hurtling over only seconds later, his button-up shirt completely drenched, presumably from their antics in the water. Despite the storm of desire rattling his brain, Robin couldn’t help but stifle a derisive snort at the thought of Sam’s exasperation later.

The twins paused, suddenly taking in the two of them, standing awkwardly apart from each other. Mickey’s head tilted in confusion. Robin thought sheepishly back to how he had behaved likewise only just hours ago, when he had walked in on his brother in the same position that he was now in. Caught red-handed with the nanny.

“Hey, did you two get into a fight?” Mickey’s face was far too innocent to know the stabbing truth that his question held. 

Robin forced a smile, straightening his back. “Of course not, kiddo. You’ve got one of the best nannies in the world.” Both of their faces perked up at this. “I could never fight with her.”

His gaze flitted over to her, standing a few feet away as the twins reached up to grab her hands, ever the reaffirming picture of the perfect nanny. Her cheeks were still flushed and he read the tangle of confused feelings written all over her face. She was staring at him again with that shining gaze again, vulnerable and open as the first time he met her. Because of him.

His stomach twisted. So much for not wanting her to get hurt.

Robin took his leave before she could say anything in response—he didn’t want to hear what she had to say about him in front of the twins. He wasn’t sure if he could put on a smiling front any longer. “I’ll see you guys later. Be nice to your nanny.” He turned as his throat constricted, and hurried off.

Shortly afterwards, he called a limo to take him home, citing exhaustion as the reason for his early departure from the picnic. His colleagues told him to get some rest; his father, unsurprisingly, said nothing. Before he stepped into the car, he caught sight of her, next to Sam on the lawn. He ignored the lance of pain upon seeing them stand so close together. 

He caught her eye for a second, but before he could be drawn into the faint glimmer in her eye, he forced himself to walk away and get into the car.

As the limo pulled away from Central Park, Robin stared blankly out the window. His agony was laughable—it was Sam that was supposed to be held back by this forbidden romance with her; he was the one that was already engaged. Yet here Robin was, the perpetual second-best, always left behind, trapped within the same snared feelings. He found some cruel relief in the knowledge that both he and Sam shared the same predicament.

Was it love at first sight? For him, and for Sam, too? He laughed bitterly; what a twist of fate that he and his perfect brother had the same weakness—a woman they could not have. No matter what happened, Robin knew for certain that they were all going to be hurt.

Thinking of what she had said that afternoon, about her wish to go back to last week, Robin wished he could rewind time too. To not rejoice in the stolen moments where she wasn’t occupied with Sam and the twins, to not stay in the office alone with her as he inched closer and closer, to not pull her to his side on the dance floor as he felt the pit in his stomach sinking deeper. Maybe if he could have stayed away, he would be able to retrieve his heart from the snare of her bright gaze.

Or maybe—Robin could’ve charmed her first, before his brother got to her. Maybe then, she’d be sneaking away at the office to be in his arms, not Sam’s. Maybe they would be sitting on a picnic blanket together at Central Park, enjoying a perfect afternoon. Maybe, when no one else was looking, he’d be pressing her against the side of the stall, kissing her over and over again until he was intoxicated from the scent of her. 

As the sky darkened steadily, Robin watched the cityscape pass in a blur. He already knew where this fantasy would end. This wasn’t his story. But he was in too deep and there was no hope of getting out.

[sebspocketsquare]

Quarantine 5

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (online)

A/N: Heya guys! Here’s part 5, sorry it’s been a little bit. I had some trouble with this one because I really just wanted to get to part 6 LOL. Anyway, i hope you enjoy it! -T

Warnings: Flirting, language, quarantine, feels, fluff

The next morning, a string of texts wakes you. 

It’s J, letting you know his friend will be by in a couple of hours to install your security system and bring by groceries. 

He tells you to double check who’s on the other side of the door before opening it, and informs you that his friend's name is Sam.

Seems simple enough.

You get dressed, deciding to wear something a little nicer than the pajamas you’d been wearing lately. Makeup finds its way to your face and you even manage to brush your hair.

You could at least make yourself look human today, especially since you didn’t know how good of friends J and Sam were.. what if he went right back and told J you looked like you hadn’t bathed in weeks? 

That wouldn’t be good for your blossoming relationship…. friendship? Whatever it was.

You’re getting yourself a glass of water when someone knocks at your door. 

The couch had been moved back to its original position, and you look through the spyhole on your door to find a man standing there in a doctors mask with a backpack and bags of groceries in hand.

“Can I help you?” You ask through the door.

He makes eye contact with you through the spyhole. “I’m Sam, J’s friend. I’m here to install the security system for you?”

That was convincing enough for you. Opening the door, you offer a small smile. “Hi.. I’m uh.. I’m Clair.”

You can’t tell if he’s smiling through the mask, but he makes his way inside and sets the bags on the floor. 

“You mind if I take this off now? I promise I’m not sick.” He motions to the mask and you laugh softly. “No, go ahead. It’s fine. Just uh.. Stay six feet away.”

He removes his mask with a sigh of relief before flashing a pearly smile at you, “I’m Sam. Nice to officially meet you.” He looks familiar for a split second, but you convince yourself you’re merely imagining it.

Sam gets right to work with the install, and you take that time to put away the food and wine he’s brought. It’s too much for just you, it’ll last you months, but with everything that’s going on, you don’t know if you’ll even be ready to leave the house again anytime soon.

You make sure to shoot J a text telling him thank you.

Sam puts a device on each window and in each doorway of your apartment. A keypad is put right by your front door, and a panic button right beside your bed. He helps you set up a 4 digit pin that you’ll need to enter any time you come or go, and shows you how to set the alarm when you go to sleep at night. It’s so simple, but so secure.

J was right. It made you feel better. Safer.

Once everything is completely set up, he pulls a piece of paper from his back pocket and hands it to you. It’s an order form. For your computer and television. You’d made the decision to not let him replace your tablet. He was already doing too much.

“Oh..” is all you can manage to say as you look it over.

Sam chuckles in return, “He um.. he really cares about you, you know..”

Meeting his eyes, you risk asking him a personal question, “What’s your opinion in all of this..? How he feels about me?”

He looks taken back for a moment, but smiles fondly before he answers. “I’ve known him for awhile now, and.. He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him when he’s talking to you.”

You can’t help but smile at that knowledge.

“And Clair?” 

You meet his gaze one more time.

“I know it’s probably weird for you, that he wants to take care of all of this for you, but.. let him. He’s a good man. He doesn’t have any ulterior motives. He just.. when he cares about someone, he’s all in.”

Your heart warms at his words and you nod slowly.

He smiles again before picking up his backpack and heading for the door. 

“Hey Sam?”

He turns to you just before he’s out the door.

“Tell J I said hi.”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “Will do… and don’t tell him what I said about him being a good man and all that…  he’ll never let me live it down.”

HIM

I know as soon as the system is installed because a crude outline of her apartment appears on my computer screen. 

I set alerts to let me know anytime someone approaches the vicinity, when she leaves and when she sets the alarm for the evening. If she presses the panic button, it alerts the authorities first and then me.

I have to take every precaution to keep her safe. 

I’m closing the window on my computer when Sam returns home. I hear him kick his shoes off and set his bag down before heading straight for the shower. He pokes his head in my room on his way there. “System is installed, also.. damn she is way out of your league.”

His observation makes my heart rate increase. “Wait, what? What does that mean?”

He laughs and shakes his head, leaving it at that as he continues on his way.

I find myself suddenly jealous that he’s gotten to see her with his own eyes and I haven’t.

“You could at least describe her for me!” I call after him, to which he just cackles.

My best friend is an asshole.

HER

You’re sitting on the couch watching random videos on your phone when a new message comes through from J.

[Sarge:] Everything go smooth? :)

You’re sure he already knows the answer, and you’re positive that Sam already told him all about you, but you decide to humor him anyway.

[clairv0yant:] Yes. :) Thank you again for everything.. I really appreciate you. I checked the tracking on the form that he gave me and everything should be here by the end of next week. 

[Sarge:] Doll, I promise you don’t have to thank me. I’m happy to be able to help you out. :) 

[Sarge:] It will be strange not gaming with you every night for a while, but.. We’ll just have to find another way to spend time together.

His words only cause the smile on your face to grow. He’s so sweet. So considerate. So genuine and unfathomably selfless. You weren’t sure what you’d done to earn the affections of such an amazing person.

[Sarge:] By that I mean.. expect phone calls every night ;) 

[clairv0yant:] That sounds perfect to me. :P

xxx

You spent more time on the phone with J over the next week and a half than you’d ever spent in your life. Constantly exchanging texts and making phone calls, but never once asking the other for a photo. Not that you weren’t curious, because you surely were, but you were afraid of what he expected you to be like. Did he already have an image of you in his head? An ideal Clair?

You’d tried to picture him several times, but failed at each attempt. He still remained a mystery to you.

When your new tech finally arrives, you nearly jump out of your skin with joy. You make sure to lysol the holy hell out of the shipping boxes before touching them, and once the product inside is removed and placed in the safety of your apartment, the useless cardboard goes into the recycle bin outside.

It takes you an hour and 45 minutes to get everything set up, but of course as soon as you’ve finished, J is insistent about playing.

It’d been so long, there was no way you were denying him.

You missed it just as much as he did.

“You know what I miss most?” You speak into your mic, keeping your eyes trained on the battle scene happening on the screen before you.

J hums a soft, “hmmm?” in response, trying to keep his focus too.

“Mexican food.”

He can’t help but let out a bark of laughter, obviously shocked at your most missed thing while locked away.

“Mexican food? Really?”

It’s your turn to hum a soft, “Mmmhm”.

He’s quiet for a few moments except for the sound of his keyboard clacking as he fights, determined to win this round.

When the word Victory appears on your screen, he speaks again.

“You know I um..” He pauses, and you can feel his anxiety seeping through the internet connection. “Nevermind, heh..”

“What is it?” The first emotion you feel is concern. What could he not feel comfortable telling you?

“Promise you won’t just laugh at me?”

That’s a promise you know you’ll be able to keep. “Of course, J. What’s up?”

There's a bit of silence on his end, and then you swear you hear his adam's apple bob in his throat in a gulp for courage. “When all of this is over, I.. I’d really like to take you out on a date..”

You’re stunned into silence, thankful that a new game has yet to start.

He must take the quiet as a negative response, because he immediately backtracks.

“I-I mean, that’s stupid right? You wouldn’t go on a date with some guy you met online.. Hell, I could be some cree--”

“I would love to.” You cut him off before he can ramble on too much.

“You-really?” You can hear the smile in his voice and it brings an even bigger smile to yours.

“But only if it’s mexican food.”

He lets out a soft chuckle, the rumbling of the sound making your heart flutter.

“I wish..” He stops himself again, letting out a little sigh, “I wish I knew when that would be though.. When all of this will be over.. I just.. I really want to spend time with you, Clair.”

A new match begins in the game, but you’re so distracted by his confession that you almost miss your window to pick your character.

“We’re spending time together right now, aren’t we?” You joke, but there’s a falter to your voice, a doubt. You know what he really means.

“You know what I mean, I.. I want to be there, with you.”

It’s your turn to exhale a sigh.

“I know what you mean..” A funny image comes to your head, and you find it slipping from your tongue before you can stop yourself. “What would a quarantine date consist of anyway? You sitting on the opposite side of my front door drinking beer, while I sit inside drinking wine?”

He’s silent.

Not even a laugh.

It’s a whole two minutes before he speaks again.

“You know.. That could work.”

TAGS: (I wasnt sure who to tag, so if you dont want to be, I’m sorry!! Just trying to get this out there. ALSO if you wanna be tagged INBOX ME! I tend to miss people in the notes :(  ).  @mindingmyownbusiness​ @plumfondler​  @buckybarnesappreciationsociety​ @loricameback​ @tinaferraldo​ @geminimoonbeamx​  @preserumsteverogers​ @moderapoppins​ @lowkeysebby​ @buckyshattergirl​  @jayattemptstoruletheworld​    @the-observant-fangirl​ @moondancewrites​ @moonbeambucky​ @trinityjadec​  @stevieang​  @bionic-buckyb​ @eyecandybarnes​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​ @promarvelfangirl​ @ballyhoobarnes​ @bucky-plums-barnes​ @cate-lynne​ @witchymarvelspacecase​ @imaginingbucky​ @theimpossibleg1rl​ @babygurl8840 @wonderlandmind4 @buckysthing​ @formulafun​ @curvybihufflepuff​ @fanficsformarvelkillme​  @shadyskit​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​ @reading–mermaid @fuckmestan​ @siliverin​ @verygraphicink​ @sallyp-53 @thatsbucknasty​ @steadyphantomcat​ @booktease21 @kiki5283 @lostinspace33 @drayshadow​ @theperditioncrasher​ @mmyepic​ @feelmyroarrrr@alien-beans @heartsaved​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @dreamingofonceuponatime​ @just-a-littlebit-of-everything​ @bluerorjhan​ @tarynsnotokay​ @jamdropx35 @turquoisekokiri​ @pinknerdpanda​​ @starkrobb​ @marvelgirl7​ @unscriptedtimetraveler​ @fangeekkk​ @wonderlandmind4​ @pinkisokay​ @mrsdaamneron​ @rynabarnesrogers​ @wish-i-had-something-better​ @stanning-seb-stan​ @oilersgirl35​ @vaisabu​ @paranoid-borderline-insane​ @bonkywobble​ @vikki-rogue​ @witchymegg​ @a--1--1--3​ @margetastic33​ @stuffandstuff-stuff​

[seyaryminamoto]

hii, can you tell me more about why you’re anti sukka?

... Okay, now, that’s an inaccurate statement.

As per current internet terminology, I’m not ANTI Sukka. These days, an anti is someone who obsesses with the ships they hate, and spends an insane amount of time harassing fans of the ship, attacking other shippers, making content to disparage the ship and pretending they’re on some sort of superior moral high ground by doing all these things. While I’ve made occasional posts on why I don’t ship Sukka, I don’t think I’ve made any since AGES ago. I don’t get in the way of anyone who does ship it and I wouldn’t even say I HATE the ship. In truth, I just don’t care for it. I won’t read or look for content about it, but that’s not the same as hating a ship, let alone the same as harrassing its shippers: so I’m not anti-Sukka, I just don’t ship Sukka.

Now, since your question’s intent was to figure out why don’t I ship it...

... Warning: long, long essay that won’t sit well with any hardcore Sukka shippers right under the cut. I would be using a truncated term like su*ka throughout the whole post if only the anon hadn’t already used the actual ship name, but regrettably, it’s likely to show up in your tags all the same. I am sorry, preemptively, if it does: please ignore it for your own good and go on your merry way without letting me ruin your day.

I haven’t talked about this for ages tbh. But anyways, here we go.

When I watched The Warriors of Kyoshi for the first time, I actually liked Suki plenty. I liked her initial conflict and chemistry with Sokka, though I wasn’t big on how she made him wear the Kyoshi Warriors uniform when it clearly made him uncomfortable, but all in all, I liked how their relationship had shaped up at that point and I even looked forward to Suki returning in future episodes.

On my first watch of ATLA, I seriously saw nothing wrong in Sukka. I didn’t think a lot of things through during that first time I watched the show, I was just binging the whole thing like a maniac (like a lot of people are doing at the time), so I found their relationship perfectly acceptable as it was, for the show I was watching.

And then later rewatches, even before the Sokkla bug bit me as hard as it has, I realized maybe that wasn’t entirely true.

One of the things I really, REALLY don’t like about Sukka to this day is how unequal their relationship is in terms of how the characters are written in the show. Basically, the same complaint I have about Asami in LOK applies to Suki ever since she reappears in Book 2, but ESPECIALLY in Book 3: her character ends up revolving almost exclusively around Sokka.

Meanwhile, Sokka appears to forget about her surprisingly often and easily.

Instance #1: there’s no sign of Sokka holding a torch for Suki when he first develops a crush on Yue. Implying that, while Suki impressed him, his feelings for her weren’t necessarily romantic despite she outright kissed his cheek... whereas he is crushing, HARD, on Yue. In contrast, Suki was so affected by Team Avatar’s visit to her island that she took off to help people around the world to follow their example. Sokka (and his friends) have a huge impact on Suki’s life... whereas Suki’s impact, sure, taught Sokka to set aside his sexism, but he’s never even seen reflecting on how much Suki has changed him because of this? Neither is Katara portrayed mentioning how much nicer he became after meeting Suki? There’s not a single sign through the rest of the season of how much Suki has meant for Sokka, whether as a teacher, friend or potential love interest.

Instance #2: after initially hesitating to kiss Suki in the Serpent’s Pass, Sokka finally kisses her once they’re about to part ways before she returns to the Kyoshi Warriors. It’s soooo very romantic... until, a mere episode later, Ty Lee openly flirts with Sokka and, instead of reacting as he does later in the season (with a comment along the lines of ”Uh, I’m with someone else”), Sokka merely WAVES AND SMILES. I... don’t even understand why the writers did this. They spent the entire season featuring Sokka avoiding Ty Lee, or being fully hostile with her, but somehow RIGHT AFTER establishing his relationship with Suki, he’s shown behaving like this? It doesn’t make any sense to me. It basically says either he’s not taking his relationship with Suki all that seriously, or he’s just blatantly disloyal, and considering how devoted he was to Yue, I can’t bring myself to believe it’s the second thing. A writing oversight? Eh...

Instance #3: when Toph talks about the moon turning mean, Sokka rages and rants about how nice the moon is. Why do I bring this up? Because Yue is out of reach. Yue is gone: he still feels the need to defend her from someone who isn’t really insulting her despite that. MEANWHILE... Suki’s fate, at the time, is unknown. Sokka has no idea if Azula captured her, left her for dead, tossed her in a river, sold her to a traveling circus...? He doesn’t. He seriously doesn’t. He can’t KNOW what Azula did because the last thing he knew, Mai and Ty Lee were masquerading as Kyoshi Warriors. Implying them, and their leader, did something to the group his girlfriend was part of. And yet, for an entire season finale AND the first half of Book 3, Sokka betrays zero intentions of wanting to discover what happened with Suki, or guilt about not being able to save her UNTIL AZULA BRINGS HER UP. I know it’s very sad for Sukka fans to see Sokka crying over Suki as he did when Azula taunts him... but why haven’t we seen the slightest sign of how affected he is by Suki’s presumed capture/murder/whatever he was imagining happening to her, when Book 2 features Sokka suffering over failing Yue in the Swamp, as well as rejecting Suki initially over guilt because of his lingering feelings for Yue, paired with fear of failing to protect those he cares about? And then in Book 3 he’s even standing up to Toph when she makes a careless comment about the moon spirit...? Why is it so easy to bring up Yue, but not Suki? Is this really just another writing oversight? So we’ve had TWO writing oversights about this relationship already, both of which suggest Suki is barely on Sokka’s mind at all? Is this oversight... or accidental characterization? :’)

Instance #4: Sokka and Zuko travel to the Boiling Rock. Sokka is determined to save his father. It’s a really cool, absolutely acceptable, very important decision for his character... but here’s the kicker: Sokka knows now, at this point, that Suki might still be alive and a prisoner of the Fire Nation. Azula outright said Suki had been WAITING FOR HIM AND GAVE UP BECAUSE HE NEVER CAME. This is what drives him to tears and to shout at Azula while wasting time during the Eclipse! :’D And then? Then he goes to Zuko, to ask him about Fire Nation prisons, and my gullible, first-watch self thought “oh, he wants to save Suki now that Azula said she’s alive! :D” ... only for his intent to be exclusively about his father. I’m not saying it’s WRONG for Sokka to privilege Hakoda over Suki, I mean, he is his father and Sokka really cares about family. It’s one of his main priorities, always has been. But isn’t it WEIRD that after Azula taunted him SO BAD about failing Suki, after saying Suki GAVE UP ON HIM, Sokka makes zero moves to find out if she might be alive and within reach? He could ask Zuko about her, maybe, seeing as he was on Azula’s side in Ba Sing Se and may have known a thing or two about any prisoners she captured in the Earth Kingdom? Sokka could have mentioned he wants to save BOTH Hakoda and Suki, and it doesn’t harm the story in the least for him to say something like that. It doesn’t make his efforts for Hakoda any lesser, and it shows Suki is a priority for him too... But no. Instead let’s feature him bumping into Suki by sheer luck, because that’s truly what it was, and instead of feeling any guilt for not helping her sooner, he’s just lovestruck and attempting to put moves on her when she doesn’t even know who he is yet. Super funny. Super romantic. Super lacking and I can’t understand why, WHY, someone would ever think this is how to write a quality romantic relationship?

Instance #5: connected to instance #4, actually. When traveling to the Boiling Rock, Sokka and Zuko have an awkward conversation. During this awkward conversation, Sokka asks Zuko if there was anything he left behind in the Fire Nation that he might have missed. Zuko smiles and talks about Mai. Sokka is surprised that the “gloomy girl who sighs a lot” was his girlfriend, and Zuko looks genuinely fond of her as he smiles and thinks of her. And then Sokka brings up his own romantic experience... WITH YUE. Instead of bringing up the girl who taught him girls can fight too, instead of bringing up the girl he hasn’t been able to save yet, the girl who MIGHT BE in the prison he’s headed towards, Sokka brings up the girl he absolutely CAN’T save anymore. He brings up the girl whose death most clearly scarred him, deeply, and I’m not trying to lessen the blow Yue’s sacrifice takes on Sokka... but Suki literally, LITERALLY, has something to do with the plot of this very episode? While “My girlfriend turned into the moon” “That’s rough, buddy” is a well-loved hilarious scene and line, I’d have sacrificed that IN A HEARTBEAT if the writers had thought to feature Sokka talking about Suki instead. He could’ve said Azula took her! He literally KNOWS this now, for a fact! Zuko could’ve told him “Hey, maybe she’s in the Boiling Rock too!”, and the plot of the episode wouldn’t have changed in the slightest, beyond featuring Sokka actively looking for BOTH Hakoda and Suki! But no. Again, no. Again, the writers choose to privilege Sokka’s bond with Yue over Suki. With Hakoda over Suki. With anyone else over Suki.

... whlie Suki, most obviously, has no one else she cares about more than Sokka. Why? Because she hasn’t even had enough screentime to establish any other significant relationships, and after the Boiling Rock, she doesn’t establish them anyways.

This causes Suki to feel like a Sokka satellite: SHE revolves around HIM. But Sokka? Sokka doesn’t revolve around Suki IN THE LEAST. Would it be healthy for him to be completely devoted and crazy over Suki to the point of disregarding his ties with other people over her? Hell, no! But it’s not healthy to feature Suki as good as doing that for Sokka either! :’D Suki doesn’t even have a solid, established friendship with any of the other Gaang members. She has POTENTIAL for it, but ever since she joins the Gaang she is most frequently shown interacting with Sokka and only on occasion with the others, but in no memorable, meaningful way with anyone but Sokka. She even joins Katara while searching for Aang in Sozin’s Comet, and we don’t see the slightest sign of unique, important bonding  between them. She saved Toph from drowning once, found out Toph has a crush on the same boy she likes, and it’d have been interesting if she, for instance, had refrained from seeking an openly romantic relationship with Sokka out of respect for Toph’s feelings? They could’ve had a conversation about it? With Toph telling her to go for it, maybe, because Sokka liked her too? Suki saying she doesn’t want to hurt her? A perfectly nice bonding situation for these two girls, showing quite a lot of respect between them, as well as respect for their personal relationships with Sokka?

But no. That doesn’t happen. 

The second important character Suki bonds most with is Zuko, and in the show, it’s exclusively because they’re with Sokka in the Boiling Rock. Once that’s over you can’t really say there’s any relevant, personal dynamics between them in the show. Heck, Suki tells him she wants a rematch with Azula in the Boiling Rock: Zuko could have offered her a chance to come with him to the Fire Nation and get that rematch, instead of offering it to Katara :’D Why doesn’t he? Because they DID take their time to establish a relationship between Zuko and Katara, even derrailing the show for a whole episode to ensure they would convince Katara to forgive Zuko for all the wrong he did, in the most absurd and contradictory situation possible. Meanwhile, a simple “sorry” from Zuko is enough for Suki to stop holding a grudge. You absolutely CAN interpret this as Suki not being the type to hold a grudge! Which, great! But you also CAN interpret this as the writers being way too lazy to give Suki as much time to forgive Zuko as she could have/should have needed. And sadly, while story-wise I’ll choose to read it the first way, I think, realistically, what happened was the second thing instead.

Suki doesn’t even have a meaningful relationship with Aang. AANG. I’m not saying she should have been his best friend, but Oyaji outright says “you kids had a big impact on her”. It’s PLURAL. It’s not supposed to mean “Sokka had a big impact on her”. Hell, Aang is Kyoshi’s PAST LIFE. Kyoshi is, in all likelihood, Suki’s hero! :’D And yet... nothing. Not even featuring Suki as a Kyoshi fangirl who knows all sorts of random facts about her, such as her favorite foods or the habits she enjoyed most, and Aang saying “oh hey, I like doing that too!”, so that they both could rejoice in this unique, curious shared common ground!

Nay. Nothing. Literally nothing. Her only serious, meaningful relationship is with Sokka... and like I said, whenever Sokka is asked about meaningful relationships with girls, his brain goes “Yue”, immediately, even when the plot would benefit from him saying “Suki” at least ONCE. He’ll sit out at night watching the moon, but he can’t be bothered to bring up how frustrating it is for Azula to have captured Suki whether before or after the Invasion. Yes, Sokka is shown to be the kind of guy who grieves quietly: why is it so much easier, then, to see his quiet grieving for Yue than his concern for Suki?

The truth is, it’s a writing shortcoming. It’s not even something I’d blame on Sokka’s character because, as I always have said, his relationship with Yue really highlights what a wonderful boyfriend he can be when he’s seriously interested in someone. He takes Yue out on dates, gives her gifts, fights for her people, fights the fiancé who only objectifies her, tries to protect her from fulfilling a destiny that will kill her? This is all top-tier romance hero behavior. It is. Why the hell isn’t this behavior seen with Suki too?

It’s not a matter of Suki being a warrior rather than a Princess so she doesn’t need him to act the same way he did with Yue: the show outright, literally, explicitly states Suki is a girl and a warrior, implying Sokka could easily enough woo her the same way he does with Yue, if he cared to. But he doesn’t. It’s Suki with the initiative when their actual romantic relationship begins, and later on Sokka can forget Suki is his girlfriend whenever it suits his fancy, to absolutely no consequences.

So... does this mean, then, that Sokka, in canon, only tries really hard when he’s chasing after someone he can’t be with? That he slacks off and drops the ball when the girl is already his? Well, that’s... not good. Not healthy. Not pretty.

This doesn’t mean that there’s nothing good about Sukka altogether, there are a few things about the ship that aren’t bad... but even then, scenes like “Sokka makes a gross sand sculpture and says it’s Suki” aren’t really that heartwarming to me. It’s not only a comedic relief scene that tries to feature these two as super romantic dorks... but it only reinforces one of the main shortcomings in this relationship for me:

Sokka doesn’t even have to TRY.

He doesn’t. He can make a gross-looking statue, say it’s Suki, and she won’t even make suggestions to improve it? She just says it’s perfect this way. It’s basically the kind of coddling Ursa did with Zuko when Zuko messed up in his firebending display and Ursa said it was wonderful. In the case of a couple, it feels like a mix of cute and condescending? Suki accepts Sokka as he is, sure, so she doesn’t challenge him, doesn’t try to make him do better, he doesn’t need to improve his work... because she’s fine with whatever she gets from him. 

This is complacency. It’s a relationship neither one needs to make efforts for. Suki will always accept Sokka’s occasional romantic gestures, even if he leaves so much to be desired in his relationship with her, as opposed to his relationship with Yue. And I’m not saying Sokka DOESN’T care about Suki, but he doesn’t need to do better with her, and while that’s just what Sokka may think he wants/needs for the future, in truth, that’s not what makes his character thrive.

What makes Sokka’s character grow amazingly is CHALLENGE. And I don’t mean that he needs a girlfriend difficult to be with and out of reach (like Yue): I mean that, when faced with a love interest who keeps him on his toes and makes him continue pushing his boundaries, Sokka would genuinely develop and grow further as a man, warrior, leader and love interest. Look at how fast he develops into a quality swordsman while training with Piandao: why? Because it was a challenge. Because it was an opportunity to hone his skills. Because he had to rise up to prove himself, and HE DOES. In the Invasion? He feels he can’t measure up to Hakoda, but in the end? He winds up LEADING the whole operation. People FLOCK to him as he draws out the battle plans and strategies they’ll follow so they can figure out where Ozai is and take him out before the eclipse ends. Right after thinking he couldn’t do it, when the situation DEMANDED that he stepped up, he did and he goddamn EXCELLED at it, proving himself well above these challenges indeed.

THESE are the moments where his character shines the brightest. And a relationship that wasn’t so complacent would do this kind of thing for Sokka’s character just as well: a challenging relationship would promote his GROWTH. He wouldn’t be stunted in simplicity with someone who doesn’t give up on him when he spends MONTHS disregarding her circumstances. Because the truth is, I see Sokka as an overachiever in denial: he wants to go the extra mile, to do things no one else has done before, but because he’s stuck in a world where he doesn’t have the crazy powers his friends do, he wrongfully assumes they’re the ones who’ll do amazing things and he’ll just lag behind them, so he figures it’s better not to bother trying to stand out at all. Yet look at him, figuring out the perfect plan to take down Ozai’s fleet: look at him, making such an impression on Piandao, epic swordmaster, that Piandao even says “If you stay on this path, I know that one day you will become an even greater master than I am.”

Sokka has incredible, extraordinary potential as a character. He has huuuuge anxieties and sources of anguish and insecurities, and those only make his potential greater. He has flaws that can be worked on, there’s so much room for growth...

And the true reason I can’t support Sukka, on Sokka’s end, is because I don’t think that relationship will encourage him to grow any further.

Meanwhile, I can’t support it on Suki’s end because I don’t think she deserves to be an afterthought for a boyfriend who has so much going on in his life that she’s a secondary or even tertiary thing in his life unless she’s right in front of him. And even when he doesn’t have that much going on (meaning, during the first FOUR comic trilogies), he’s shown traveling the world with his friends instead of spending time with her. And heck, where Suki SHOULD have arrived in the South Pole with Zuko as his guard during North and South, Suki doesn’t show up at all. Why? Seriously, what sort of logic explains that the Fire Lord’s appointed BODYGUARD would stay behind in the Fire Nation while Zuko travels halfway across the world, with hell knows how many dangers ahead? If she HAD gone with Zuko, she would’ve had a chance to spend more time with Sokka and it’d even be a point in Sukka’s favor. But that doesn’t happen. To make matters even worse, Sokka doesn’t even tell Aang to say hi to Suki for him when Aang leaves to the Fire Nation by himself in Smoke and Shadow? There are TWO WHOLE PANELS as Aang takes off on Appa with NO DIALOGUE. Sokka calling after Aang to ask him to say hi to Suki literally would’ve fit PERFECTLY, right there! But no. Suki doesn’t even get that much from her boyfriend.

Seriously, it’s NOT THAT HARD to show a healthy long-distance relationship. It’s not that difficult to feature Suki and Sokka longing to see each other but having too much going on to meet up. But that’s not what we got with Sukka, not in the comics, not in the show. Fans ARE free to believe otherwise, and I’m not going to trample on someone who thinks we just conveniently never get to see the healthiest aspects of their very positive relationship... but there’s no genuine evidence to back up this belief. It’s just wishful thinking and hoping that things are far better behind the scenes than what we’re genuinely shown.

Again... I blame the writing. Especially seeing as Yang’s writing of Sokka is DISMAL. But it doesn’t erase what’s already there. It doesn’t do away with the very obvious problems in this relationship.

The positive moments Sukka gets are offset, for me, by all the negatives. The meaningful relationship they could have developed feels underdeveloped instead, something we should take for granted is there and nothing more. And even those positive moments and episodes aren’t necessarily that positive?

In particular, I point to The Ember Island Players: there are soooooo many messed up things about Sukka in this episode I have no idea how people aren’t more bothered by them. First of all: the episode features Sokka crying about Yue’s staged death scene, and Suki is shown amused, saying she had no idea Sokka had made out with the moon spirit. First of all: SOKKA DIDN’T TELL SUKI ABOUT YUE. Her initial reaction here is amusement, for some reason...? Yet as we already saw that there’s no real bad blood between her and Toph despite she, of all people, KNOWS Toph has a crush on the same guy she likes, there’s no real reason to think Suki would behave like a jealous fiend if she knew Sokka had a relationship with someone else before her. Yet Sokka doesn’t tell her about it: this implies he either doesn’t trust her, or doesn’t know her well enough to realize she WON’T be a jealous fiend, and outright assumes she will be one because of mistaken preconceptions about how relationships work.

At this point, Sokka and Suki have been officially together since Book 2, episode 12. Book 2 happens in spring. Book 3′s conclusion is at the end of summer. This means Sokka has had about four-five months of a relationship with Suki. Out of which, yes, she spent the majority of those months in prison :’D but then he rescued her! And... apparently proceeded not to tell her about his experiences while fighting in the war? To not share his biggest failure to protect someone he cared about? So... to NOT open up to Suki about anything that genuinely mattered?

Considering he’s willing to snap at Toph when she brings up the moon could be “mean”, considering he’s willing to tell Zuko that his first girlfriend turned into the moon when they’re only starting to trust each other... this unwillingness to tell Suki about Yue feels OFF. It doesn’t make any sense. His relationship with Yue was far from something to be ashamed of. It meant A LOT to him. Why the heck hide it from Suki, when all the reasons sound either condescending or distrustful as hell?

Ah. Because the writers thought this scene would be funny, that’s why.

And the funny scene gets even BETTER when Sokka shushes Suki and proceeds to cry about Yue’s death: he’s shutting her out. And hey... Suki doesn’t like this. She turns her face around and looks pretty irritated, whether by being shushed or by his unwillingness to share his past with her or BOTH THINGS...

... And then the show doesn’t acknowledge this OBVIOUS, SIZABLE, IMPORTANT shortcoming of their relationship ever again.

We’re supposed to assume Sokka explained everything later just because? Hell, he looks like he has absolutely no intentions of doing that. If you ask me, it even could feel like he thinks his relationship with Yue is none of Suki’s business? And that’s not pretty. That’s not good romance writing, no matter how you look at it.

This, of course, is not everything: there’s another two unpleasant situations in this episode alone! :’D

The second one is a slightly smaller one, but bears mentioning all the same: Aang is annoyed when the play makes a mockery of Zutara, so he gets up and leaves: Sokka tells him to bring him snacks. After his initial request, Sokka wraps an arm around Suki and they’re shown surprisingly cuddly now, DESPITE their previous impasse. At first, Suki smiles fondly at him. But then he turns around and asks Aang for more snacks. And then Suki outright looks ANNOYED, while Sokka looks like he doesn’t give a single crap.

This, I feel, ties in with what I mentioned earlier about how Sokka doesn’t even have to try with Suki: Suki isn’t merely a happy girl who thinks Sokka can do no wrong. She CAN be annoyed by him and his behavior, but for some reason, she chooses not to bring up her grievances with how he’s acting, even if it doesn’t sit well with her?

So while there’s supposed to be something so very cute with the monster blob sand statue, her approval doesn’t feel genuine to me. I simply can’t see it as genuine. Because when you feature Suki smiling in that strangely motherly way, saying the statue is “sweet” (instead of, I don’t know, saying she actually sees the artistic merit of it (if she did) or saying he just needs to put in a bit more work), she’s focusing exclusively on making SOKKA feel better about himself. And when Suki is annoyed? He doesn’t have to show remotely the same amount of consideration or compassion she displays for him. Why? Because she sweeps her feelings under the rug and lets him get away with everything he does, even things she’s not happy about. She lets him get away with keeping important secrets, lets him get away with annoying her in the middle of the play, AND...

... lets him get away with rubbing in Suki’s face that Azula kicked her ass :’)

Look, I’m not even being my biased shipper self here. The third unpleasant thing in Ember Island Players is that Suki decides to point out that Team Avatar keeps getting out of deadly pinches by sheer luck and that they lose a lot! She doesn’t say this with concern: she looks sardonic, like she’s legit mocking them. It’d feel completely out of place if she hadn’t been annoyed by Sokka earlier, so it feels (to me) like she’s just taunting him because she’s already not in the best of moods and expects to feel better by making fun of him. Not a terrible crime, but a rather strange one to commit too, considering she’s making fun of her boyfriend damn near dying all the time. You’d think, maybe, that kind of possibility should worry her a little more...?

... But then Sokka retaliates with: “You're one to talk, Suki. Didn't Azula take you captive? That's right, she did!”

Isn’t it goddamn WEIRD that Sokka would bring up what, according to a large amount of Suki’s fanbase, must have been a terribly scarring experience for Suki... just to win an argument with her? Just to piss her off because she’s making fun of him? They’re BOTH shown being remarkably inconsiderate towards each other and the struggles they faced in their respective journeys in this scene. It’s supposed to be lighthearted bickering, but the subject they’re choosing to talk about isn’t lighthearted AT ALL.

According to some Suki fans, Suki could have even been tortured, tormented in thousand ways, by Azula when she took her prisoner. There were whole posts going around about how heartwarming it was for Suki to still be waiting for Sokka, no matter what...!

And THIS is how Sokka reacted to Suki’s patient waiting for him? THIS? By telling her “lol loser Azula caught you anyhow so your argument’s invalid”? If Suki HAD gone through some serious torture, beyond getting stripped off her uniform, how on earth would it be healthy for Sokka to use this allegedly mentally scarring experience AGAINST HIS GIRLFRIEND?

Now then, it WOULD BE fucked up, but the truth is, Suki wasn’t tortured at all, so the whole delusional, tragic “Suki is so emotionally strong because she believed in the man who would come save her even in the darkest of moments!” is honestly nonsense in the end: a girl who was tortured, tormented and anguished by the memories of whatever she experienced in Azula’s hands wouldn’t have retorted to Sokka’s comment with an irritated: “Are you trying to get on my bad side?”

Yet again, Suki is annoyed.

They’re both annoyed by each other’s arguments. 

But their discussion ENDS at this point, and goes forgotten, again. 

Suki isn’t even a quality bickering source for Sokka, because as soon as Sokka rebuffs with a counterargument she doesn’t like, she turns things personal and takes offense. Where he may not have taken her initial taunt as a particular, personal attack, she does interpret his words that way.

AND THEN THEY PROCEED TO FORGET ABOUT THEIR ARGUMENT AND ITS IMPLICATIONS, YET AGAIN :’)

Now then... is all this so terrible? Am I making too big a deal out of small things that shouldn’t be inspected so closely, especially as they were likely written with humorous intent and nothing more? It’s entirely possible!

You see, I don’t exactly love the way romance is handled in ATLA because it’s frankly always flawed and faulty beyond belief. People often have said one of the three canon relationships is better than the others, but at this point I disagree altogether: they’re all written to be flawed and have huge gaps of logic in the behavior of the characters involved. The girls are always shown as prioritizing the boy above everything else ever, and the boys are too often shown leaving them behind, forgetting about their love interests alarmingly frequently, being outright FORCED by the plot to let go of their attachment to them, whereas there’s no such conflicts or situations with the girls, in the least! Implying that it’s fine for girls to be completely devoted to a relationship, to the point where their whole LIVES revolve around the boy they like, but the boy shouldn’t behave the same way and must learn to leave the girl behind or put her aside instead?

... The implicit sexism in this consistent writing element in ALL THREE CANON RELATIONSHIPS is honestly pretty disturbing. I don’t think I need to say much more about it, do I?

Now though, I will, however, point out that it’s relatively good for canon NOT to show Kataang, Maiko or Sukka as perfect relationships because it IS realistic. It’s not pretty, but it is realistic. These characters are children or teenagers who quite often didn’t even have good role models of romance in their parents or peers, let alone even slightly decent childhoods, so for them to be 100% healthy in terms of romance would have been utterly absurd. Therefore, these kids would be expected to make mistakes and then learn from them so their relationships improve over time.

Sokka and Suki’s relationship is flawed, which only lends MORE believability to it, because the characters aren’t warped to fit the narrative, to play them as unmistakably perfect, ideal partners for each other. But those flaws do lend for problems like the ones I pointed out above...

And you see, the ultimate problem is that these characters DON’T learn from those mistakes. They don’t. Mai and Zuko are shown making the exact same blunders in the show and the comics, hell, sometimes even worse ones in the comics. Sokka and Suki still act like they’re totally in love ONLY when they happen to be in the same place and even then? Suki outright ignores Azula’s zapping attack at Sokka in The Search! SHE’S IN THE SAME COURTYARD! But it’s the THREE BENDERS who come to Sokka’s “rescue”, despite he doesn’t even NEED rescuing, since the attack was goddamn meaningless anyhow. 

The point is, however, that Suki is right there, damn it, taking care of APPA. And she’d sooner look after the sky bison that than check on her boyfriend, who was just “attacked” by her WORST ENEMY, WITH WHOM SHE WANTED A REMATCH???

Seriously. What logic is this. What kind of ROMANCE is this. It doesn’t make any sense to me, and if I were a Sukka fan I’d be beyond outraged by watching my favorite relationship written so carelessly.

So, because Yang’s writing isn’t even ALLOWED to move anything too far forward, because Bryke don’t want that, none of these relationships have developed in any interesting ways after the show. AT BEST you could say Kataang definitely act differently in the comics than they did in the show, for better or for worse, so you can say there’s some changes in their dynamics, though those changes aren’t necessarily related to genuine character growth. But Maiko? Same old story. Sukka? Same old story.

What exactly does Sukka do for Sokka at this point? He has someone to make out with whenever they cross paths? Yeah, okay, cool. And? That’s it? For that matter, he could be making out with anyone else just the same. What kind of room for growth does she offer him? Going by how she doesn’t even need him around her, by how she has never needed anything but mediocrity from him, I can’t say there’s anything to be found. Their relationship already dealt with its biggest possible hurdle WHEN THEY FIRST MET. That’s the main growth Suki offered Sokka, and now she can’t give him anything else because he’s way too efficient and learned everything she could teach him right away :’) Paired with this, Suki wasn’t developed enough as a character either, so if she has other regards in which she can teach Sokka a thing or two, we simply don’t know it, and the comics refuse to show it to us too, so up to date, Suki is severely underdeveloped by canon and will continue to be, as far as I can tell.

Which, of course, factors in the next question: what does Sukka do for Suki? Honestly, nothing. If this relationship did something interesting for her character, we’d have tons of things to say and discuss about her, but the truth is all Suki-related discussion tends to have nothing to do with Sokka (her past and growth as a Kyoshi Warrior, her future post-canon, whatever the heck happened to her by LOK’s time... I’ve never seen anyone genuinely pondering anything about her relationship with Sokka beyond “did they stay together or not?!?!”). Suki is at her best when she’s with the Kyoshi Warriors, because it’s the only element of her character that DOESN’T revolve around Sokka. Going by the plot of the Shells comic, she could go travel the world teaching girls self-defense, and kicking the asses of sexist dudes! It’s not really going to deepen her character, sadly, because that’s basically ALL we know about her since the start of the show, aside from her attachment to Sokka. And she doesn’t need Sokka to do this. She could do it by herself just the same.

Literally, just for the sake of giving Suki something else to do, not even for my personal OTP’s sake, I’d gladly see Suki breaking up with Sokka so she can damn explore who she is beyond this relationship? The Kyoshi Warriors serving in the Fire Nation Palace was probably the first interesting development for Suki in canon since she first met Sokka, and even then her role there was never explored fully, let alone was her potentially red-herring budding relationship with Zuko. 

But who am I kidding? :’) not gonna happen. For all I know, they got married in canon and had a perfectly happy life together. A perfectly happy, mediocre life, where neither one has to make the slightest effort for the other, in the least. Taking each other for granted, every step of the way!

*sigh* I can’t want this for Sokka, seriously. I can’t. I love his character a lot, but I absolutely hate how he’s written in this relationship. Most my understanding of how Sokka behaves in a relationship has come from how he behaves with Yue, precisely because, as brief as their relationship was, he seriously appeared to value her above so many other things, to fight for her, to do anything he could to help her without asking for anything in return. And that’s why I write him as I do.

Love can feel different when you experience it with different people, of course, and I’m not asking for Sokka to be written exactly the same in two different relationships... but the difference is just way too vast. I don’t question he cares about Suki, but I do question that he genuinely loves her. This is NOT how someone in love behaves. And frankly, Suki’s behavior isn’t that of a girl in genuine love either. She likes him plenty, is impressed by the things he and his friends have achieved, but is it genuine love? How can it be, when they apparently can’t even trust each other about their personal experiences (Yue in Sokka’s case, spending months as a prisoner in Suki’s)? When his behavior rubs her the wrong way and annoys her when they’re at their most casual? When the bickering he’d likely enjoy having with a significant other just falters after two exchanges with Suki because she takes offense to what he said? 

In conclusion:

Writing: the writing of this relationship is frankly really, REALLY flawed, far more than most fans are willing to acknowledge (whether fans of the ship or of the show in general). They try to make jokes with this relationship, but these jokes end up highlighting serious flaws in this relationship that are never addressed. Also, their relationship is hardly ever treated as something majorly important for Sokka, who constantly privileges his bond with Yue over Suki, which is radically contrasted with Suki, who has no meaningful relationships in the show beyond Sokka. As I pointed out earlier, the writing proposes the boy doesn’t need to revolve around the girl, but the girl DOES revolve around the boy? Absolutely appalling.

Dynamics: beyond their exchanges on their very first episode, their dynamics don’t offer anything unique to their characters. You can replace Suki with any other female character, and Sokka’s struggle to let go of Yue and accept a new love interest in his life wouldn’t change in any considerable way. It didn’t HAVE to be Suki, let alone a Suki whose original personality (sassy, demanding, proud to the point of bordering on arrogant, prone to making mistakes because of this flaw...) was completely hijacked by a new one (perfectly nice, friendly, reasonable, considerate, flirty, not demanding in the least, virtually flawless...). There’s not much Sokka can teach the Book 2-onwards Suki, or much else Suki can teach Sokka. There’s not much they can learn together either, because the writing never offers them new challenges they haven’t handled before. Their dynamics exclusively hinge on Suki being reliable in action situations, weak humor centered around Sokka being a mediocre boyfriend, and making out. That’s all their relationship provides, and frankly, they BOTH can do better than that.

Potential: I don’t think Sukka has much more potential beyond what we already have seen. Their natural chemistry isn’t anything out of this world, it’s FINE, but it’s not exactly something extraordinary that can’t be found anywhere else. And that’s really at the crux of why I don’t ship it or find much enjoyment in it: neither Sokka nor Suki appear to be at their best in this relationship. Suki is outright worse off by this relationship because she went from feminist poster child to a girl who REVOLVES AROUND A BOY. Please, let’s let that sink in? There are better possible relationships for them, relationships that absolutely could explore aspects of BOTH characters that have gone underdeveloped and overshadowed in canon, just for the sake of weak humor and make-out sessions.

*sigh*

Fact is, most the problems with Sukka are a matter of poor writing. With better writing, the relationship could be good, and would be easier to take seriously. But even then? I wouldn’t ever expect this relationship to outshine other possible ships for both Sokka and Suki. If you feature another girl as Sokka’s big, rude “girls are fighters too” awakening... what’s left for Sukka? Speaking from experience, seeing as I outright wrote that: without this factor, their relationship wouldn’t be anything particularly noteworthy. Sokka would respect Suki right off the bat, sure, maybe surprise her a bit because of how unpredictable and unexpected he can be, but there’d be no genuine reason for them to seriously develop feelings for each other. That their entire bond hinges on their first encounter, rather than the growth of their relationship across time, is far from appealing for me in a relationship. I absolutely need more than that to ship something.

I’ve already brought up most these arguments in the past, as well as others I probably forgot to mention, but I can give you one more post to look at (if you want it), specifically about how a certain ship can be a vast improvement for Sokka over Sukka :’D This, I’d hope, will clarify what I mean when I say other ships can offer Sokka far more than Sukka does. I didn’t dig into it here, since I tried to focus exclusively on why I won’t ship this, but that might help expand your understanding of my reasons not to support it. And then there’s also the ship I support for Suki... here are my arguments on that topic too. Admittedly, I was more centered on Zuko in this second post, but I basically already gave you all the arguments why Suki in Sukka doesn’t work for me :’D and there’s a few arguments in there about why Zuko would be a far more interesting love interest for Suki than Sokka has been so far, too. So... that’s that. I hope I gave you plenty to think about :’D

[rachelillustrates]

An Exploration of Kiliel

OKAY, fandom thoughts on my art blog because of Story Study.

My Wife and I finally watched The Hobbit movies, so I’ve finally gotten to Kiliel (..... ❤ ) and I have some headcanons/thoughts about Tauriel’s introduction to the story, the flow of their romance, and what’s important.

(So this will be part meta, part headcanon as I sort that out.)

What’s striking me right away - other than the fact that I came into these movies ALREADY shipping them and am damn pleased about it, thanks Tumblr - is that we are given.... well, bupkis on Tauriel’s motivations and backstory. And the person I’m watching these movies with, who I love very much, was quick to point out that her introduction and immediate positioning as a Romantic Female Lead could read very shallow to the casual viewer.

(Which I am not, thank the Gods.)

So, what of Tauriel’s backstory and deeper life goals? Digging into the fandom, I found notes that her parents were killed by Orcs when she was young, and that Legolas took her under his wing afterward (making him her mentor, and thus making the idea of their romance even less attractive to me, since that means he would hold even MORE sway and authority over her and there would be very little equality for her there. Also, Gimli).

But that’s it. And we’re not given that in the main plot of the movie at all.

What we are given is the information that she’s conscious of the dangers to the outside world, and wants to protect her people by stopping those dangers at the source, despite contrary orders from her King.

So what I think the movie intended, with that scene where she talks to the Elvenking about her concerns and how she immediately chooses to go after the Dwarves later - motivated primarily by the thought of saving Kili - is that Tauriel has a deeper drive to help save the whole world from the threats she sees to it. Because of what happened to her parents, because she knows the spiders are coming from outside their borders, etc. The featurette “Tauriel: Daughter of the Forest” says of her “She has a great curiosity of other races, of the world outside - she literally hasn’t been anywhere...” (mentioned in part 2, part 1 is here). So, to me, her motivations for leaving Mirkwood include that - as well as saving this Dwarf she feels an inexplicably deep bond with already.

On that note, I wish they had gone a bit deeper into her and Kili's immediate connection than what we were shown. I do appreciate how she insisted on fending for herself, in their Battle Couple introduction, and how Kili immediately accepted her for who she is - the trousers joke was, admittedly, a little uncomfortable for me due to personal reasons, but I think it could be read as him meeting her aggression in battle with aggressive flirting, and in that light, her positive response to it (in what she said to Legolas, and in returning to check on him of her own volition) makes a lot more sense to me. And while I really enjoyed and understood the Feast of Starlight scene, those less romance-genre minded than myself may not have understood that as deep "enough” (for more of the intentions of the plot in that scene and the take the actors had on it, click here. Includes a hysterical Leoglas moment at the end!). 

Rewatching it, I do see and recognize how deep their connection is and how meaningful what they choose to share of themselves is - especially with the idea of Kili honoring and respecting (nay, being attracted to) her ferocity, and the fact that most of her kin probably don't automatically respect her for such things. The sexism among the Elves is not as bad as it is with humans, but it is still there. Who knows how much Tauriel has had to fight for her place as the Captain of the Guard, being a woman. And again, it probably wasn’t as bad for her as it was for, say, Eowyn - but no matter how much space there is for women to step up and be active agents of the story in the mythology of the world, Tolkien didn’t choose to make women part of the action, actively, most of the time. So the world still reads as a mostly Men-at-War, Women-at-Home place. And that has to have had an impact on Tauriel’s life. And in addition to how charming Kili is, just as himself, the fact that he sees that part of her, respects her and admires her FOR it, must hold a lot of weight.

Another part of what I've seen, in re-immersing myself in the fandom now, has been this idea that both Kili's culture and Tauriel's culture have an idea of soulmates, the One person who, when you meet them, shakes you to your core, and you are never the same again. I really think that's what the writing was going for (see Evangeline Lily’s comments in part 2 of “Tauriel: Daughter of the Forest,” particularly), but it wasn't given the space and depth that it needed to be apparent on surface level of casual viewing. 

So, from my fangirling perspective, I imagine that they both felt that right away, but were so surprised by it - because of the unexpectedness of their circumstances, and the animosity between their peoples- that they didn't know how to handle it, and fell into awkward humor, and slightly clumsy attempts to get to know each other as they tried to sort it out.

I imagine that Tauriel's outright denial of any connection to Legolas, and immediate acceptance of his father's racism toward her in that context, was also swayed by her newfound feelings. They (Tauriel and Kili) probably did talk more, as well, about their families and their deepest dreams after the Feast of Starlight scene cut off. We just aren’t given that information.

(Anyone else for a romantic adventure Kiliel-centric mini series?)

Then of course, we are given the healing scene. What I got from this, beyond their romance, was that Tauriel always looks to be helpful. When she takes the athelas from Bofur, she looks like she’s had a revelation. She realizes she can help, she can heal Kili, and that gives her an outlet of action for all the confusing feelings she’s having. She goes right into business mode about that - and Kili, all pained and fevered, barely realizes it’s her. But when he does, he looks at her in wonder (with a fever-dream angelic view of the magic around her, even! Sidenote - I LOVE how messy her hair was. Both beauty and realistic adventure life). And she looks back at him with such serious kindness, telling him to trust her, without words. Of course, he does....only to then believe that she wasn’t there at all, and spill his heart out to this apparition of the person he already knows he loves.

And in that, he is so sure that she’s beyond his reach, even though he knows he loves her already. Even though as he talks about how she’s on another level of existence than his, his action is still to reach for her hand, still reaching for her, despite the words he’s saying. He still wants to believe it is possible - that they are possible - even as he’s trying to accept that they can never be.

Which, of course, leads into the beach scene. After the whirlwind of surviving Smaug’s attack, too (extra shoutout to the writing there, regarding Tauriel and Bard’s children - she’s aware enough to realize that Bard’s son is the only one of the three of them that might have had any sliver of training for situations like this, because human misogyny, so she uses that to protect all of them - “Your sisters will die if we stay here,” etc. - but as soon as he runs off to help his father, she still makes the girls her priority, as well as the Dwarves. Headcanoning that if Kili had survived, and they married and moved into Erebor, she would have damn well taught those girls how to fight).

Anyway, back to the beach. I think my favorite part of that moment, other than the Heart Wrenching Perfection of what Kili says to her (and how it’s acted!), is that he has realized that she wasn’t a fever dream after all - that he did, in fact, say all those potentially embarrassing romantic feely-feels things right to her actual face - and instead of being embarrassed, he just GOES for it. He is that sure. Sure enough, that even when she can’t let herself reciprocate his feelings (even though she clearly does - and she doesn't say no, btw, she is interrupted by Legolas' arrival and thusly the reminder of her duty and her 'place') he then gives her the token from his mother, to let her know she’ll always be in his heart, no matter what she decides. And he almost doesn't, he almost leaves, but turns back in the last moment, in that desperate, loving attempt to try again. No matter how impossible it seems.

MY freaking heart.

Also, when Tauriel then learns of her banishment, she looks shaken at first - but quickly, almost relieved. See here, at about 39 seconds in. She has clearly been fighting against her own heart each moment since Kili came into her life - even though, as I mentioned before, he provides a grand excuse for her to go help other people beyond Mirkwood’s borders. And now, released from the obligations she has to her people, to her King, who doesn’t fully respect her anyway, she is free to do what she could not just moments ago. She is free to choose her own path - to follow her heart, and her ambitions to help the world.

Of course, she follows Legolas first - the path of least resistance being to follow her mentor and Prince. And I get from that that she’s shut herself off from her own emotions for so long - likely due to her parent’s death, early in her life - that she really doesn’t know what to do with herself, in that freedom, and in love. So, following her nearest authority figure, giving herself a moment to breathe and decide later, seems natural.

But, luckily, that path leads right back Erebor.

And unluckily, right into the tragic ending.

But first, she confronts the Elvenking (who has banished her, and therefore freed her, though that was not his intention) about his refusal to stay and help. His concern for his own people, again, will lead to them not being there to save the lives of others suffering in the world around them. And she’s not having that - in general, even if a large part of it is her love for Kili. The script focuses only on that love - with Thranduil refusing to accept that she really loves Kili, comparing what he imagines she feels to what he felt for his late wife, it seems - but there is so much in her whole narrative that has already pointed to her desire to help the whole world, even before she lets herself start feeling for Kili. And this moment plays right into that deeper motivation.

Of course, her story being a romance, finding and protecting Kili is her first priority. And sadly, that goes, as we know, badly.

It bothers me a LOT that she “had” to be damseled in the Big Fight. BUT. We at least get the strength of their connection before she gets trampled by Bolg (and the surety of her voice when she calls for him, and the focus that hearing her, and his calling back out to her, gives him - yes. It’s subtle, but its very strong and very there). And at least they get to see each other one last time - Kili knows, no matter what happens, she chose to come after him after all.

And all the emotion, in her watching him die, and him realizing what they’ve lost even though she did choose him.....ugh. My heart, again. They are both just so clearly broken - Tauriel so confused, not able to accept that its come to this, after she chose to find him, after everything. Kili so brokenhearted that after all his hoping - after she chose him back - they still can’t be together (not to mention the fact that he’s just lost his brother, too, the only other person we see him love as intensely as her). And then, in the last moments of (this part of) the fight, when Kili is gone and Tauriel is alone again, her pain is so great, her anger so clear, her love so deep, she is willing to use her own momentum and throw herself off the tower’s edge with Bolg, just to try and make for damn sure that he pays for what he’s done.

(I will forever maintain that the fact that that didn’t kill him - that SHE didn’t get to kill him - is a travesty. Especially with his murder of Kili, but also for the gross tongue thing. Very uncomfortable with what that implied.)

I’m gonna skip over the intervention of Legolas to save her life, cause that’s not important here, suffice to say that once again I am Pissed as Hell that they felt the need to damsel her so much. Sigh. I must assume, from a writing standpoint, that they chose to nerf her in this battle because she’s never been involved in war like this - fights to protect Mirkwood, yes, but not War Battle. HOWEVER, there are ways for them to have written through that and not made her look so weak. Especially considering that she is a seasoned warrior - AND had fought Orcs before, as we saw in “The Desolation of Smaug” - and between her and Kili, who one of Thorin’s strongest warriors, they should have at least been able to do better together. Crudmuffins! That, of course, would have messed with the outcome of the source material, but who of us would really be complaining? Hmm? (Sorry Tolkien.)

Their canon story ends, of course, with Tauriel having to come to terms with her feelings and Kili’s death all at once. As as much as I spent most of the movies harshing on Thranduil (except to honor how fabulous he is, stylistically and attitude-wise, and make as many Party Elk jokes as I could), i am glad they brought him back for this scene - not only that he gave Legolas a direction away from mooning over Tauriel, but that he got to help Tauriel accept what had happened (in his own blunt way). The way he watches her here, and looks at her, I feel like he’s really seeing her and accepting her as a person and not below him for the first time. I’m also headcanoning, since we know that Tauriel was orphaned and bonded with Legolas soon after (as her mentor - and honestly, I read their relationship as more of a broship/sibling situation), I feel like she was taken under the wing of his household - not because he approved, but because it was the Right Thing and probably looked good to his people, even if he couldn’t fully accept her due to her heritage. I also feel like the fact that she asks him to take the love away from her, since it hurts so much, also points to a more parental role than he would admit. If your heart was broken, who else would you ask to take those feelings from you - at that first heartbreak - than a parent?

But of course, he can’t - all he can do is finally admit, despite his earlier insistence otherwise, that her love for Kili IS real (I feel like he might have gone through something absolutely similar with his wife’s passing - finding her falling in battle, mourning over her body). And that smashes any hope she had that she could keep denying how she feels - it passes over her face, visibly and physically, that shock that he’s admitting it, then frustrated realization that if it’s real, she can’t deny her feelings anymore and can’t close her heart to it, and then just pure pain again as she realizes what she had and the full measure of what she’s lost.

And then she kisses him, as if she’s sealing that love and acceptance - the only time, super duper heart-stabbingly tragically, that she’ll ever get to you know, according to this version of the story.

I can only hope that afterward, Tauriel chose to honor herself and Kili’s memory by continuing to help the world at large, in her exile. And that she surprise and “oh shit”-ness of Thranduil’s expression upon realizing that an Elf could truly love a Dwarf means that he will be kinder to Legolas when he brings Gimli home.

Now, as far as the runestone goes, I initially wanted to believe that Tauriel would take it back after she gave it back to Kili in death, maybe to return it to his mother on a well-intentioned trip to meet her, to give them both closure. However, upon learning about what’s specifically written ON the stone, I have a different thought - Middle Earth News points out here that the runes on it translate to “Return to me.” Obviously, at its creation and initial giving, that was about Kili’s mother bidding her reckless son to come home safe. But when Kili gave the stone to Tauriel on the beach, he made it theirs as well. He bid Tauriel to return to him by giving it to her. And so now, in returning it to him upon his death, Tauriel bids Kili in turn to return to her, death be damned.

So while at first glance, that returning of the runestone may look like Tauriel denying her feelings again, its really a further, even more solid gesture of that acceptance. And honestly, to me, an expression of hope.

And I feel like hope is what really strikes me, about this ship. They have SO much potential, not only in how little we’ve been given of them in canon, but the potential they see in each other in those brief moments where they obviously imagine what their lives could be like, if they could be. One of my favorite shows says, early in its story, “Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a powerful thing.” And that is exactly what I see in them, and why they strike me as so wonderful. They are hope, and the belief in love despite all odds against them, despite all the darkness around them.

And no matter how shakily that might appear to be set up, that is gorgeous, at its heart and root.

And if you got this far in all my scattered ramblings, thank you!

(The art above is my own, btw. For more of my own star-crossed inter-fantasy-racial height-difference queer fae, click here 💕 )

~~~

Patreon ~ Etsy ~ Ko-fi

[reservethesun]

If you're accepting prompts can I ask for Fighter & Tutor and #46 "please don't say that about yourself, please don't believe that. You're so much better than that. You're so..". But please be a happy ending/outcome, with the world atm I don't have the emotional energy for the FTTT drama/ansgt were gonna get in the actual show !! Thank you very much.

Ahh yesss! Thank you so much for the request. I love them so much. I am a sucker for a bit of angst with a happy ending because yes. Happiness is key. [Prompts from this post]

46. “Please don’t say that about yourself, please don’t believe that. You’re so much better than that. You’re so...”Ship: FighterTutorWord Count: 927

Fighter wasn’t sure what was happening. He hadn’t seen Tutor in a couple of days and his messages continued to sit unread. Things had been going so well. They had finally gotten together and things were good. He liked teasing Tutor at the school, flirting with him even when Tutor attempted to brush him off because he always ended up kissing Fighter before they went their separate ways for classes. Things were going better than Fighter had ever imagined it would be. So when things suddenly changed, Fighter took notice. That evening, Fighter decided that enough was enough and he went over to Tutor’s apartment despite the fact that he never responded to any Fighter’s messages about whether it would be okay or not. “Tor, open the door,” he insisted as he knocked rapidly. “I’m not going to go away, so open the door.”

A few moments later, the door opened and Tutor stood there looking exhausted. “P’Fight,” he greeted as he leaned against the door. “I don’t have time today. You sho-”

Fighter didn’t listen to Tutor and pushed his way into the apartment. Once he was, Tutor sighed and shut the door. “Tor, what is going on? Are you okay?” he asked. His brow was furrowed as he looked over his boyfriend and Tutor just wanted to scream.

It wasn’t fair that he was so thoughtful and concerned and just… Tutor sighed. “I’m okay. P’Fi- Stop, I’m okay,” he said, trying to brush aside Fighter’s continued worry. Fighter even took his face in his hands and mumbled about how Tutor didn’t look like he’d been getting sleep. He hadn’t been, but Fighter didn’t need to know about that. “I think you should go.”

“Tor, what’s going on? What’s wrong? How can I help?”

Tutor closed his eyes and took a deep breath with a small shake of his head as he pulled his face out of Fighter’s hold. “P’Fight. This isn’t going to work.” Tutor didn’t look directly at Fighter, not able to look at the expression that crossed his face.

“What do you mean?”

“This. Us.” Tutor heard Fighter inhale sharply at the words and the implication behind them, but he didn’t look at Fighter until he felt Fighter take a hold of his hands.

“Is this about what those assholes said before?” Fighter watched Tutor closely, trying to read his expressions and see if he was getting to the right thing. “It is, isn’t it? Tor…”

“They were right, though. I’m… I mean…” Tutor laughed a little, sounding bitter as he twisted his hands out of Fighters hold and took a step back from him. “I’m not good for you. You’ve got so much ahead of you and I’m just… I’m going to end up working as a cashier for the rest of my life. I’m not worth your time.”

“Please don't say that about yourself,” Fighter said as he took a hold of Tutor’s hands again, pulling him in close. Fighter almost relaxed a little when Tutor didn’t fight against him. “Please don't believe that. You're so much better than that. You're so…” Fighter took a deep breath and shook his head with a small smile as he tried to think of the right words to say. “You’re strong and smart, easily one of the smartest people I know. You’re kind and you care deeply about the people in your life even if you don’t always know how to show it. And so what if you work part time jobs for the rest of your life? That doesn’t make you less of a person or any less deserving of love.”

“P’Fight…”

Tutor seemed for a few seconds like he was going to move away again, so Fighter let him go to wrap his arms around his waist and pull him close. “I want to be with you.” Fighter pressed a kiss to his cheek, lingering close to him so that he could kiss Tutor every few words as he continued speaking. “My smart, stubborn, sweet, charming good boy.”

He smiled against Tutor’s cheek when he heard Tutor disagree with him, but Tutor pulled him in close and wrapped his arms around Fighter in turn. “I’m still not good for you.”

Fighter leaned away just enough to smirk at Tutor. “Just shut up. I’ve made my choice, so forget what they told you and kiss me.”

Tutor leaned in close to Fighter, their lips almost touching. “No.” Tutor then let go of Fighter and walked away from him only to stop when Fighter caught him in a hug from behind. Tutor was trying hard not to smile as he relaxed into Fighter’s hold.

“You’ve been avoiding me for days over this.” Tutor hummed his agreement as Fighter pressed a kiss behind his ear. He didn’t see a point in lying, after all. He had been avoiding Fighter, getting all lost in his doubts and fears and the words of people he shouldn’t have paid any mind to. He still felt that maybe they were right, that Fighter should be with someone else that was better than him. But, Fighter’s arms were tight around him and Fighter didn’t seem inclined to let him go at all. He had feared that maybe once the initial haze of their vacation together faded that Fighter would change his mind. At that point, Tutor decided that it was okay to give himself hope that Fighter wouldn’t be changing his mind. Tutor turned his head in an attempt to look at Fighter. “You should make it up to me.”

[sparrowjaywrites]

                                              My Little Blue Star

Jim Kirk x Kat Sparrow (Original Female Character): Soulmate AU - Identical tattoos or birthmarks

           Kat sighs staring down at the blue star on her wrist. She was almost thirty years old and hadn’t met her soulmate yet… which normally would mean she never would. Hell for all she knew they could be dead or already happily married with kids. The soulmate tattoos caused a lot of controversy. Many people used to have their kids soulmate tattoos removed when they were babies or children. That was until it was forbidden for a soulmate tattoo to be removed until a person was twenty-one years old. This was to prevent parents from forcing their children’s removed and to keep teens who thought they were in love from having it done.

           Many people would fall in love and get married only to later end up in a horrible situation when they met their soulmate. They would have to choose between their spouse and the person they were destined for. Most couples who weren’t soulmates got their tattoos removed at their ten year anniversary, others when they first got married, or when their kids were born. If one soulmate removed their tattoo the others would disappear, the same would happen if someone altered their tattoo; their soulmates would change as well; whether this was by adding to the tattoo, removing part of it, or having a scar change it.

           Some people had multiple tattoos, meaning either they were destined for a polyamorous relationship or they simply had multiple chances at finding a soulmate, or one of their soulmates was destined to die… something no one ever wanted to think about. But Kat simply had one. Her blue star had never changed… at least not as long as she could remember. It sat right over her pulse point on her left wrist. A simple light blue star with a black border… it looked almost like a sketch, with the multiple lines making up each edge. The star was faded, like someone had tried to wash it away… Pictures of her when she was born show the star being much more vibrant.

           “Kat, are you coming to dinner?” Kat looks up as her best friend pulls her from her thoughts.

           “Yeah, I’m coming, Nyota.” She closes down her station following her friend to the mess hall. Kat was head of computer sciences aboard the USS Enterprise. She had worked on the ship since the Nero incident a little over five years before. Nyota had already found her soulmate in her boyfriend Spock. At first the only friend Kat had on the Enterprise was Nyota. Then she’d introduced her to the rest of the head crew. Kat had instantly clicked with Hikaru and Pavel, the two instantly earning themselves a place as her best friends. Hikaru had also found his soulmate in his husband Ben. The two had a daughter now.

           “Hey, Kat” She smiles as Pavel waves her and Nyota over to them. Nyota sits down next to Spock, who is talking with Bones, another of Kat’s best friends. The doctor was yelling at him as usual while Spock simply raised an eyebrow in concern? At least that’s what she thought that face meant; the half-vulcan was very hard to read at times. Hikaru and Pavel seemed to be in the middle of some type of challenge, they each had houses built of forks in front of them and were adding more. Scotty and Keenzer were cheering them on. Jim, the captain of the ship was watching all this in amusement. That was their little family.

           “What exactly are you doing?” Kat asks as she sets her tray down.

           “I bet Pasha here that I could build a taller tower then him.” Hikaru says smirking. Kat shakes her head sitting down and eating her food. She pulls her blue sleeve back from her wrist to look at her tattoo again, letting her mind wander as she eats, absentmindedly listening to her friends argue and talk excitedly.

           “Are you worrying about that again?” She looks up as Bones addresses her. Kat quickly covers her tattoo with her sleeve. She wasn’t one to display her soulmate tattoo; many people didn’t, wearing black bands on their wrists to cover it. Normally Kat wore one as well, but hers had broken that morning. This made it a lot harder to find your soulmate, but kept you from finding them while in the middle of situation that was inappropriate, such as at work, or during a negotiation of some sort. The only other person in their friend group who had ever worn one was Jim. But Kat had noticed he’d stopped wearing his when it became legal for Captains to date their crew; so long as they disclosed the relationship to the admiralty, their first officer, and their head of medical.

           “Worrying about what?” Kat asks playing dumb, as she pushes her glasses up her face, a nervous habit she’d picked up as a kid. She was allergic to the medicine that fixed eyesight and so was one of the few people in the federation who needed them, something she had once been very subconscious about.

           “Your soulmate, you normally move your band to look at it or fiddle with the band when you’re thinking about it.” Nyota says. Kat scowls.

           “You people are too damn observant.”

           “You shouldn’t vorry; you’ll find zhem when iz’s time.” Pavel says placing another fork on his tower.

           “Not everyone does, Pavel. With my luck they’re either dead or already married.” Kat shakes her head.

           “Well you’ll never find them if you keep the tattoo covered like you do? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it?” Bones points out.

           “I thought you didn’t believe in the soulmate tattoos?” Kat counters crossing her arms. Bones had been married when his wife had found her soulmate and divorced him. He’d been very cynical about it since. It didn’t help his soulmate had removed their tattoo when he was around sixteen.

           “I believe in them, just don’t like em.” Bones counters.

           “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it either?” Hikaru points out.

           “I normally wear my band; it broke this morning though…” Kat shrugs.

           “But why hide it if you want to find yours, Lass?” Scotty asks. Kat looks away.

           “We weren’t allowed to show them in the orphanage or during the war…” She explains. “If we did we’d be beaten, arrested, or killed… It’s become a habit I guess…” Kat had grown up on the none federation planet of Arulan in an orphanage. A war had raged on the planet for most of her life. She had left the planet at nineteen to join the federation and a year later once she was a citizen of earth, to join Starfleet.

           “Oh…” The table falls silent. Kat stands up.

           “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

                                            ---Line Break---

           A week had passed since the day in the mess hall. Nyota had been pushing her to show her tattoo off ever since. She wasn’t being overly pushy about it, more reassuring than anything. Kat hadn’t bothered getting a new band. She figured her sleeve would be enough for most situations and figured Nyota and the others were right, if she wanted any chance of finding her soulmate she had to show it. They were on Shore leave on Yorktown that day as the ship needed repairs from a fight with a few Klingon war birds earlier that month.

“Okay, so the purpose of this trip is to show your tattoo to as many people as possible.” Nyota says as she drags Kat into a club where they would be meeting the rest of the head crew for drinks.

           “I know; you’ve gone over this ten times, Ny.” Kat shakes her head rolling her eyes. She was wearing a blue sundress, her tattoo completely uncovered for anyone to see for the first time in her life. Her long wavy brown hair was pulled back in a braid, courtesy of Nyota’s hair styling skills. Nyota drags her over to the others. Hikaru was dancing with Ben not far from the table, Pavel flirting with a girl nearby. Spock, Bones, and Jim sit sipping drinks. Scotty was playing pool with some guys from engineering.

           “Hello, Nyota, Kat.” Spock greets them as the two slide into the booth. Nyota next to Spock, Kat across from her beside Jim.

           “So I see you’re not wearing a bracelet. Decided to show off your tattoo?” Bones asks clearly a bit drunk already.

           “Yes, she has. Our goal tonight is to show it to as many people as possible, see if anyone recognizes it as their own or someone they knows.” Nyota says.

           “Well then, let’s see it.” Bones says leaning around Jim to see. Kat laughs shaking her head.

           “You’re nosy when your drunk, Bones.” She holds out her wrist hesitantly. Before Bones can get a good look, a waitress comes over to them asking for their drink order, Kat turns back ordering herself a scotch. Bones now distracted by his drink doesn’t ask again and the group falls into their usual conversations. After a while Nyota drags Spock onto the dance floor, Bones heading to the bar to get another drink.

           “So, your actively looking for your soulmate now?” Jim asks sipping his own scotch.

           “More or less… Nyota’s idea…” She shrugs.

           “You don’t seem too happy about it?”

           “It’s not that… I’m just not very comfortable showing it… I feel like I’m going to be arrested or attacked for it any minute… I know I won’t be but…” She looks down at her wrist running a finger over her star.

           “But fear isn’t logical.” Jim finishes. “I had to keep mine covered before… I didn’t want to find my soulmate on the ship, knowing I couldn’t be with them…” He says pulling the sleeve on his right arm up.

           “Makes sense” Kat nods. She runs her finger over her star once more before turning to look at him fully.

           “Have you ever imagined what your soulmate will be like?” Jim asks.

           “Yeah… I hope their nice, a good person ya know? But I don’t know what to think… my tattoo is still here but it’s faded… I would have thought it was supposed to be, but pictures of me as a baby show it being a lot more vibrant… I can’t help but wonder if my soulmate attempted to remove the tattoo and failed…” She explains a worried look clear on her face.

           “It could have been an accident or their parents? My mom tried to remove mine with a home remedy when I was a toddler, I only know because my older brother told me… She didn’t want me having one after my father died… something about not wanting me to go through that pain… she tried the same on my brothers… it didn’t work. Now mine’s all faded.”

           “That’s horrible…” Kat shakes her head.

           “Yeah… But I still like mine… my little star.” He smiles looking down at his wrist, Kat tries to make out his tattoo but is just at the wrong angle to see it.

           “A star?” She asks, glancing down at her own little blue star.

           “Yeah, it fits, with me loving the stars as much as I do… I hope she likes them as much as I do…”

           “She?”

           “Yeah, I mean, I’d be fine if it were a he or whatever they are… but I feel like they’re a she…”

           “What else do you feel they’re like?” Kat asks with a small smile.

           “Their favorite color is blue, and they love the stars and the ocean… They’re a cat person, but like dogs too.” He says with a thoughtful look. “They are a huge nerd.”

           “All that from one little tattoo?” She laughs.

           “Well, yes and no… I’ve daydreamed about them, whoever they are my entire life… got me through some of my worst moments.” He downs his drink.

           “I guess that makes sense… I was too busy trying to survive to get a chance to dream of stuff like that… I love my little blue star though… It fits me perfectly.” Kat says laying her left wrist on the table to show him her tattoo. Jim leans over to look at it, his eyes slowly widening.

           “Holy crap.” He mutters as he slowly looks up at her. Kat raises an eyebrow.

           “What?” Jim lays his right wrist beside hers. Right on his pulse point is a little blue sketch like star… her little blue star. Kat stares openly at the tattoos for a minute before she slowly looks up at him.

           “You’re my soulmate?” Jim asks, looking completely shocked. “All these years… we were right there… and we never knew?”

           Kat stares at him, her heart racing in her ears. She slowly and almost fearfully brings her right hand to trace the star on his wrist. As soon as she touches it a small shock shoots through her, not a bad shock like static electricity but an amazing one. The shock is like a bucket of cold water being poured over your head on a warm day, the satisfaction when you put the final piece of a puzzle together, like the first bite of your favorite desert, or hearing the chorus to your absolute favorite song. It’s like the first snow of winter, or first bud of spring. Absolute belonging, like the world finally making sense. Something Kat had never known. Like for the first time in her life, she was truly home.

           Kat looks up at him her brown eyes wide, made even wider by her glasses, locking with his bright shocked blue. Blue… just like her… no their little blue stars.

           “Oh my god…” She mutters out, she covers her mouth with her right hand her eyes flickering from his eyes back to their wrists then back to his eyes again.

           “Is… is that a good ‘oh my god’… or a bad one?” He asks slowly, looking at her nervously now. Kat blinks at him not getting his meaning for a moment. She moves her hand pushing her glasses up her nose.

           “A shocked one… I… oh wow… I never thought… that my soulmate could be… someone like you.” Kat says her eyes locking with his again.

           “I know… you probably expected someone better… Someone who deserves someone as amazing as you…” Jim says looking away, clearly misunderstanding her. “We don’t have to be together… I understand if you don’t want to be.” Jim says his voice breaking.

           “What? NO!” Kat shakes her head quickly, grabbing his right hand in her left frantically. “That is not what I meant!” Jim looks down at their hand then up at her confused.

           “Then what did you mean?”

           “I meant I never expected my soulmate could be someone as absolutely amazing and wonderful as you!” Kat says looking up at him desperately, worry clear on her face.

           “You… you think I’m wonderful?” Jim asks, a large grin slowly stretching across his face, happiness, wonder, and love replacing the hurt and pain. Kat nods slowly, her face turning red.

           “Well… yeah.” She looks down at their hands. Jim uses his free hand to lift her chin softly so their eyes a locked again.

           “I think you’re an amazing, wonderful, beautiful, strong, and sometimes a bit scary, woman. I couldn’t have been given a better soulmate.” He says sincerely. Kat stares at him tears starting to form in her eyes.

           “You… really think that?” Jim nods a large grin splitting his face tears sparkling in his own eyes.

           “That and so much more… I’ve liked you for a long time… hell much more than liked, but I didn’t want to make a move knowing you still had your tattoo meaning you were probably waiting for your soulmate…”

           “I was doing the same thing… we really are idiots.” Kat laughs a large grin splitting her face as a few tears leave a trail down it. Jim brushes the tears away.

           “May I… kiss you?” He asks after a moment. Kat nods her smile turning nervous again. Jim slowly leans in, kissing her softly. Kat kisses him back, her heart leaping with joy. After twenty-nine years, she was finally home. ---Line Break--- This is a repost of a story from 2016 originally posted on my main account that I have cleaned up and updated. I really like the little AU and figured it was time to clean it up a bit and move it here, I hope you all enjoy!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: Seto Kaiba's First Kidnapping

It’s Christmas vacation, I have Mannheim Steamroller on repeat, so much chocolate just an arms reach away from me. And I have purposely given myself nothing to do as an attempt to teach myself to do nothing.

So lets watch something weird and revisit Zero.

For those new here, I have been also reviewing most of Season Zero. If you don’t know what that is, you can my recaps in order by clicking this link here.

And like last time, I am not actually affiliated with Team Millennium, and I hope they don’t mind that I am capping their episode. You can find them on Youtube where they are slowly redubbing this season into English, and um--this next episode is the last episode they have! So I don’t know how I’m going to recap the rest?

Probably the same way I did in the first episode where it’s a lot less dialogue and more just...my reaction to it.

And, as always, my disclaimer for the new people that this was made in the 90′s and based off of the OG manga and it is...not the same show. It’s problematic. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s a counter-culture anime from the 90′s. Though this episode is pretty tame, honestly. Weird, but tame.

So, we start off the episode with a very lovingly drawn sky, not sure why it’s on THIS show but it’s here. This post apocalyptic sunset.

And staring directly into this sun going supernova is Seto Kaiba in his green hair, just brooding...

Not sure how he has this view from his Pemberly style mansion, but I dunno, maybe the city is visible from the backyard, or Seto just has really good vision. Either way don’t worry about it, we see Seto vibe out and visualize weird stuff all the time.

So, spurned by his hate for his classmate that beat him in cards once, Seto decides it’s time to enact his revenge by...what sounds a lot like some weird Lord of the Rings Lore and I dunno if it’s a bad translation or I just don’t really know what the hell he’s going off about because I never read the Yugioh version of the Silmarillion. Probably both.

See, while the first couple episodes of this show have different variations on Youtube, this one really only had the Team Millennium version in English (which is fine, there’s just some confusing things) and then the other version I saw skipped half of the episode because I guess they decided this part was boring or something. So forgive the fact that I’m flying on the seat of my pants here and I assume y’all will know all the deets I don’t know. For once, my contribution will be...kind of a lot less words.

So lets get right to it.

(read more under the cut)

Seto, who is in so much denial from Seasons 1-4, that I’ve headcanoned is actually cursed to never admit magic is real, has decided to call upon the (checks notes)

4 Game Masters

Yeah, that’s a new mechanic, these are a thing now. Don’t worry if you never heard of them before, I’ve been capping this show and I also have never heard of the legendary 4 magical Game Masters either.

So at this point these statues start glowing all creepy, and because it’s Yugioh I just kinda assumed...they’d do something.

I’m starting to think that maybe that was supposed to be symbolic, actually. Maybe there was never actually magic in the statues. Maybe it’s part of Seto hallucinating, as always. This whole show kind of runs on being a sort of metal fever dream whenever people get intense about games, so I’m probably not supposed to align it with any established magic laws anyway. It’s just I never know when things are real or just aesthetics, which I enjoy, quite a bit, that it’s open ended--but still it’s somewhat confusing as to if these gargoyles are...a thing now or were just always set dressing to kind of remind us of the cards that come later in the episode.

But, remember the spooky indoor gargoyles in your mind, keep it there, these menacing gargoyles over a fiery sunset...

OK now lets meet the real villain.

There he is. Our villain. And his name? Ripley Sheldon.

MAN to go from spooky gargoyles to Ripley Sheldon. There’s a name. That’s a name all right. I’ve only seen one episode of Big Bang Theory but Sheldon is a name forever ruined for me.

So--sidestory--this one time, my friend was at a wedding in Santa Cruz, which is a pretty beachy hippie town that always smelled like weed before it was legal, and there was just...a doll at the wedding. My friend was seated at a dinner party table just right next to this doll, and the family was like “Ah yes, this is the doll, you have to speak to her. She’s a member of the family.” and my friend had to suffer roleplaying with this doll for hours.

So before you’re like...there’s no way grown ass adults are this weird with dolls in public.

Yes. It happens.

Ah, and it’s the first instances of the Kaiba Corp logo and it’s the same. Complete with helicopter, because that Logo is never done until it’s surrounded by a fast military vehicle of some sort.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh great.

Yo remember that one episode where Yugi almost got his legs chopped off by Arcana and Arcana’s wife was being held behind a curtain, and at the end of the episode Arcana pulls back the curtain and his wife was a manikin the whole time and her head fell off?

Getting those vibes.

Back at school, Miho is busy being the most manipulative human being, this time with losing at cards. Like y’all I am TRYING to give Miho the benefit of a doubt here, but it seems even the translators hated Miho so much they had her refer to herself in the 3rd person. I am trying, really I am, sorry to everyone who loves Miho, I will leave that door open as I watch these--that maybe Miho will...grow on me.

But not this episode.

And then this happened. I guess from the breeze of Honda leaning over too far.

Believe it or not, Yuugi’s vertigo will come back later in this very episode. This whole bizarre scenario was just foreshadowing.

But for reals, Yuugi is so FRAIL in Season Zero. While I appreciate the contrast between Yuugi and Yami Yuugi, I gotta recognize how much Yugi has evolved over 4+ seasons because Yuugi is just...eggshells. Every part of him is polite little eggshells.

But in contrast, you have Anzu who is ready to fight in every single scene she’s in and I’m OK with that.

That and the very clear romantic direction that is just...simple. It’s very simple in Season Zero. That’s nice.

Anzu isn’t even possessed by two ghosts. In fact, between Anzu and Yuugi right now, there are 0 ghosts. So weird. So kosher.

Speaking of weird,

Y’all, I have no explanation for this. I only know so much Kanji.

The translation I watched tried so very hard to do what they could with this, and kudos to them, but...this is what happens with translation, it’s just a very hard job sometimes. So I get how they decided to form this joke into English, but if anyone is like a Japanese speaker and gets the pun that was clearly happening here, feel free to youknow, share the knowledge.

Unfortunately the undubbed episode that exists on Youtube that I found edited out this part so they didn’t have to try and translate it, lol. Either way, I appreciate Orange Jounouchi a lot, as well as the background squids on Squid Jounouchi.

Can you imagine just being in high school, and you get summoned to the Nurses Office? Can you even imagine what rumors would start from that? Like I know Seto wants revenge against Yuugi through cards, but I think he just did. I think he did like maybe one of the worst things you can do to a High Schooler just now. May as well page over the intercom that Yuugi has to pick up his yeast infection ointment.

And this is where we meet...a ridiculous satire. This 30 year old beautiful woman flirting with a child disaster who cannot balance while seated on a low chair.

And predictably, Yuugi lost because things just got THAT weird and awkward. Dunno if the translators put that in there for fun, or if that’s honestly how it was in the original. My bet it was probably exactly that weird in the original. Mostly because this show has a lot of “stranger danger” set ups to teach little children to never trust bad adults and this just seemed like exactly that type of set-up. Don’t trust the overly nice nurse or she’ll steal your cards in a game, kids.

After this really awkward card game (and I’m not going to bother to dive into it because I don’t talk about the card mechanics here), we find out...that Seto’s just been staring at them...the entire time.

Like it has such a voyeuristic vibe to it, it really makes you wonder about Seto’s whole deal just an awful lot. Like Season 1-4 doesn’t really ship Yugi/Kaiba, in my opinion (and just my opinion, I know how y’all feel about the ship and that is a-ok, all ships are welcome here)...but Season Zero ships A LOT. It’s not a serious ship by any means, it’s clearly a crack ship, but they...very clearly know what they’re doing with Seto being this obsessed with Yuugi in this way, omg. It just sounds like a kink to me.

So, ways to beat Yuugi Muto:

steal his stuff halfway through the game, try to kill yourself, rock paper scissors, try to kill Joey Wheeler, or dress up a sex doll like a nurse and have a gross old man have it play cards while he makes a sexy lady voiceover.

(Y’all I’ve been to my share of arcades in my life and I think I’ve only seen like 6 pinball tables total. Do good arcades only exist on TV? I think it’s all a lie.)

Then, because I guess this episode wasn’t going anywhere, Yuugi goes to the arcade to play some video games. The video game is unimportant, and it’s never been brought up before, but he’s dead set on finding it. Because unlike Yugi, Yuugi just doesn’t really have a goal in this series so he just kind of flutters around until someone tells him what to do.

TBH that’s a pretty 90′s thing for a show or a movie to do. To have characters just exist and have things happen to them, but in all, they’re just...wandering. So it’s not so much a knock on the show, it’s just that sometimes it’s a little of a transition to go from a goal being something physical, like finding the lost city of Atlantis before every human’s soul is absorbed into the great Leviathan, to the goal being more of a mental acceptance--Yuugi just learning to accept this curse he doesn’t even know he has yet, and trying to find acceptance in his group of friends.

With Yuugi, we’re kind of just watching his daily life, which is mostly watching him try and sneak games into every spare moment that his local adult has turned around. It has a very slice of life feel to it, but minus the near constant innuendo slice of life tends to have (at least the ones that have been recommended to me)

Now, because this is a show about people getting a real EXTREME comeuppance every time they break the law, what will happen to Yuugi for ignoring his Grandpa’s wishes and going to the arcade before going home?

First, we meet this mushroom haired person.

That’s right kids, NEVER stop by the arcade on the way home from school--1.) The local arcades are almost always 90% boring racing games and busted shooters that came out on the Nintendo 64 when I was a child and 2.) You will get abducted.

And then we get this face swap.

Kaiba just really loves dress-up. No wonder he was hanging out with a guy super into dolls. And like, I went into before how Seto Kaiba is always doused in facsimile energy. He loves faking it up, and apparently that’s been true since Zero.

He introduces that he will have four challenges from four Game Masters and uh so welcome to the...I don’t where this is, but a weird place full of dolls that must exist somewhere in Domino.

I guess this is to make it seem like they have an audience to watch Yuugi fail but even still...what?

So we get kind of a mirror to the scene at the beginning with Miho crying and Honda telling Yuugi to apologize for beating her, except replace Miho with Seto and Honda with this guy who really likes dolls (and Miho is a lot like a cursed doll). Like, if there were a theme to this episode it’s “grow up and stop apologizing when you beat someone in a card game” which isn’t a terrible theme, especially in this show that is about Yuugi learning how to adult.

In fact the “grow the hell up” theme is so strong we have a villain who is just...a big baby who carries dolls around. Kinda makes you wonder if the show would have eventually had Yuugi just...grow out of toys and games completely for the finale. Like in the Yugioh we have now, he can’t, because first off they licensed a hell ton of toys, but also because Yugi does games for his actual job. Even if Pharaoh was gone, Yugi still has to play games all the time. In this case, he could just...be using the games to learn how to do adult things, which is actually why we give kids games in the first place.

But, speculation aside, it’s at this point that a card play knocks Yuugi off of his chair and he passes out. Despite the fact that this isn’t a Shadow game and there...shouldn’t be any magic present. In fact, I don’t think any part of this game in this episode required opening the door of darkness. When he switches to Yami shortly after falling off of his own chair he’s like...yeah this is fine. Seems all above board. No need to kill anybody

And then apparently there’s a type of Dual Monster’s card I was unaware of.

A doll-type.

So I looked it up, is there a doll type card in Yugioh?

And it seems like there’s a lot of dolls, but not like...a type, as far as I can tell. Again, I don’t play this game, I’m only here for the plot and this one just seemed like they really had to reach for Yuugi to have just the right type of card to play.

And again, because this wasn’t a Shadow Duel, our loser just kind of walks away...all the way back to Britain, I guess.

And Seto just stands there behind a window in a rainstorm to allude to his many unshed salty tears, and it cuts to Miho who I guess has learned not to cry when she loses to Yuugi now.

And then she pulls out an absolutely winning tactic. This would win, actually. It’s actually genius.

And that is a very strong

From me. Wow. No thanks. I actually don’t want to see Yuugi do a kissy face ever again, thank you.

Half of you loved that though. This is fine. We’re all different.

Anyway, I assume the game was never played, or Miho won and the show just decided not to show it. If Season Zero Yuugi is a Yuugi that makes out then...that is...shocking. Then again, we’re only like...a third of the way through? I think?

Anyway, it’s...after Christmas because I went out of town for a spell, but I’ll just...post this now. Last post before the new year.

I’ll see y’all in 2020!

[canyouevencauseicant]

Who is she? - Part 2 (Peter Parker Imagine)

Writer’s note: Hey guys! So, I’ve received some comments and requests asking for a part 2 of my first Peter Parker imagine, “Who is she?”. So, here it is! Sorry it took so long! Please let me know what you think and please request more imagines!

Read Part 1: Who is she?

Word count: 4k

“Oh, goddammit!”

You grumbled under your breath as you were literally knocked over by a group of people fleeing from the giant spaceship above. In another life, you might’ve been way more panicked and probably would be running away with those people. But after having met literal gods and seen alien invasions before, this was just another day in the life of agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N). 

Thankfully, Mr. Tony Stark himself had given your suit an upgrade after having seen you fight in Berlin. “You’re a smart kid, (Y/L/N), and you’re not a bad fighter, either. But, I gotta say, that suit really isn’t doing you any favours. No, you need a suit that can keep up and do as much as you do. I think it’s time for an upgrade to match your attitude, huh kid?” 

You had to really resist the urge to roll your eyes at Tony because, the truth was, you REALLY wanted a new suit. Sure, you loved the one you had, but it was slowly falling to pieces and you truly needed something that could keep up with your constant crime-fighting. 

Boy, Tony really delivered.

Your new suit was nanotech, and Tony had even been nice enough to include your own A.I., who you jokingly named Artoo after the Star Wars character R2-D2. The new suit was a thousand times stronger than the one you had previously donned, and was black and blue with white accents with a hood and mask that automatically covered and uncovered your face. It was surprisingly stylish but man, it did exactly what it needed to do; protect you and allow you to be a better fighter.

Your suit was kept in a set of two bracelets, and you wore them both at all times, one on each wrist, for emergencies. Just like the one you were currently facing. 

You swiftly crossed your wrists, activating your bracelets which let out the suit automatically. The nanotech spread across your body and quickly solidified as your suit, your mask and hood popping up and your built-in vision goggles lighting up, the display appearing in front of your very eyes. 

“Artoo! What am I looking at?” You shouted, quickly initiating your A.I. as you sprinted towards where the spaceship was. 

“It’s called a Q ship,” the cool male voice of Artoo spoke matter-of-factly as you wove through masses of people fleeing for safety, “It’s definitely a spaceship because no airforce on Earth has technology like the stuff I’m detecting on the Q ship.”

“Oh, well that’s just fantastic,” you muttered under your breath. This didn’t look good at all, but you knew you had to help, “Artoo, contact Iron Man!”

“Contacting Iron Dad,” Artoo confirmed, the nickname you had set for Tony making you chuckle slightly; while Steve was like you adopted dad in the Avengers, he wasn’t the only one who took on a sort of paternal role in your life. Tony was even more overprotective than Steve was (surprisingly), and could be a really great mentor when he wasn’t being sarcastic or teasing you. 

“(Y/L/N)!” Tony’s voice spoke up over the call, to which you immediately responded, “Where are you, Stark? I’m on my way. What’s happening?” “Squidward and his buddy from space are after the Bleaker street magician’s necklace! F.R.I.D.A.Y., send (Y/L/N) my location,” Tony replied, and it took you a moment to realize that he was talking about Dr. Stephen Strange and the Time Stone he was tasked with protecting. 

“Location acquired, setting route to intercept now,” Artoo stated as you hung up on Tony, the route popping up on your display. You weren’t too far off from where Tony was fighting off the two aliens, so you triggered one of the new features of the new suit; the soles of your suit’s shoes popped out and turned into wheels like those on roller blades, and you managed to gracefully glide over to where Tony was.

As you turned the corner, you suddenly had to duck as a whole tree went flying and nearly took you out. You glanced over to where it came from and you spotted Iron Man, Dr. Strange and Wong fighting the two aliens; one was large and wielding a terrifying-looking weapon, the other much smaller and seemingly unarmed. However, the smaller one suddenly managed to lift a ton of bricks and turn them into spikes and sent them flying at Dr. Strange and Wong without so much as a wave of his hand. Tony, in the meantime, got launched by the larger alien and went flying, the larger alien in hot pursuit. 

“Artoo, who are we fighting?” You inquired, pulling out your knives and getting ready to engage the enemies before they noticed your presence. “Species unknown, but the smaller of the two seems to possess the power of telekinesis. Be careful, (Y/N),” Artoo advised you, and you nodded as you swiftly threw a knife at the smaller alien. 

Thankfully, you had the element of surprise on your side but the alien moved so the knife lodged itself in the alien’s shoulder instead of his heart, causing him to cry out in pain and surprise. The knives you had been equipped with were also an innovation on Tony’s part; they were designed to fly more efficiently, do maximum damage and be extremely difficult to remove. They were your favorite upgrade. 

You quickly moved out of the alien’s line of sight as made a beeline for Dr. Strange and Wong. “Strange! Wong! Where’s Stark?!” You shouted to them as you sprinted towards them. Wong quickly opened a portal for you to glide through that would take you to Tony’s location, and as you passed them, you shouted, “Thanks!” 

The portal transported you to a park, and to your surprise, you almost ended up crashing into a figure dressed in a red and blue suit as they swung by you. 

“Woah, who are you?! Where did you come from?!”

A familiar voice caught your attention, and when you took a good look at the person you nearly crashed into, your heart jumped slightly in your chest; it was the same hero from the fight in Berlin. The new hero who seemed to be as young as you were. 

Spider-Man.

At first, you were a little disappointed that he hadn’t recognized you. But then, you realized that Spider-Man had only seen you in your old suit and therefore wouldn’t be able to recognize you now. However, before you could speak up, Iron Man flew over to you and landed next to you, “(Y/L/N)! There you are! Watch out, this guy in dangerous. Try to stay out of his path and distract him while Underoos and I try to take him out.”

“Yeah, yeah, old man. How about you do the distracting and I do the ass-kicking for once?” You retorted, giving him a look that you knew he couldn’t see because of your mask. You noticed how Spider-Man’s head perked up at the sound of your voice, and you saw him observing you carefully. 

“Wait a sec, are you the same girl from the Berlin fight? The one who’s crazy good with her knives?” Spider-Man asked, the excitement and awe in his voice evident as he did so. 

“The one in the same, that’s me. Good to see you again, Spider-Man! Glad to see we’re on the same side this time!” You chuckled slightly. ‘God, how can he be such a dork but so cute at the same time?’ Your inner voice spoke up, but you quickly brushed it aside as a smile crossed your face.

“Peter, it seems like your temperature is rising. Is this because of the presence of the girl from Berlin?” Karen, Spider-man’s A.I. spoke up suddenly, which just caused him to blush harder than he was blushing before. “Not now, Karen,” Spider-man muttered quietly before taking a moment and then letting his excitement get the best of him.

“O-Oh, wow! Okay, um, I-I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon! I, uh, I-I guess you’re here to help. Awesome, your suit’s new, it’s really cool. Mr. Stark, did you make her suit, too?” Spider-Man rambled off, slightly jealous of how cool your suit was and how good it looked and just happy to see you again. He could feel the heat spreading to his face. ‘Aw man, come on, Peter! You’re geeking out in front of this really cool girl and making a fool of yourself!’ Peter’s little voice sang, but that only made things worse.

Spider-man’s rambling was swiftly cut off when the large alien suddenly attacked and had almost struck him with his huge hammer. Spider-man leaped up gracefully to dodge the blow, and you swiftly side-stepped the attack at the same moment. 

“Again, you talk too much during fights, Spider-man!” You shouted out while laughing slightly, going into fight mode and grabbing your knives. The web-slinger was going to respond with a witty comment, but all that came out of his mouth was “What’s your name?!”

“Now’s not the time for flirting, Underoos! Ask her out after the fight!” Iron Man’s voice came over your comms, which made you snort quietly. Little did they both know that you would love that to happen. You stood by what you said to Spider-man the first time you met him; you thought the two of you would actually be really good friends. Maybe even something more.

You noticed the large alien going to swing at Peter, so you quickly threw a blade into the back of the creature’s leg, another into his arm and a third in his hand, pining it to the weapon’s handle. The creature roared in pain and turned towards you. You quickly went on the defensive and watched the alien closely, attempting to predict it’s moves. However, in a moment you hadn’t been able to forsee, the alien tore the knife from its hand free, and proceeded to throw it straight back at you. 

You didn’t move quick enough.

The sheer force with which the alien had thrown your knife back at you was enough to get it to go straight through your protective suit as if you weren’t even wearing it. Pain unlike any you had felt before blossomed in your abdomen as your own blade pierced through your suit and lodged itself in your flesh. You didn’t even have a moment to scream in pain before you fell backwards.

“Kid!” You heard Tony scream out, as well as Spider-man screaming, “Holy shit!”, but you couldn’t find where their voices were coming from. Suddenly, the large alien spoke something in a language you didn’t understand, and then, out of nowhere, a beam of light appeared on you and you found yourself being drawn upwards. Your body screamed in pain at the sudden movement, the knife digging in further, causing you to moan in pain. Suddenly, you felt something cool hit you and spread across your back. Spider-man had shot a web at you and caught you with it. 

“Hey! Miss! Hang on, I got you!”

You heard Spider-man yelling to you, and you had stopped moving for a moment. But then, the web connecting you to Spider-man snapped, and you continued being beamed up. You heard Spider-Man scream something, but your hearing had become poor and your vision went dark.

*TIME SKIP*

You must’ve blacked out from the pain, but when you came to, you were inside what you believed was the Q ship. What’s more, you weren’t alone; Dr. Strange was levitating feet away from you, with sharp, clear, needle-looking crystals only inches from his skin. You looked around and realized you, too, were levitating.

‘Oh, shit, (Y/N). What have you gotten yourself into? You’ve gone too far this time!’ The little voice inside your head screamed, and you went back into agent mode. You scanned your surroundings and tried to get your bearings. Then, you began forming a plan. What could you do to turn this situation around? 

Your whole body felt like you had been hit by a train and then some; a dull ache had settled into your bones and when you looked down, you realized you still the knife lodged in your abdomen. You suddenly had the overwhelming urge to vomit and panic rose inside you. Where was Tony? And Spider-Man? What happened to them? Were they even alive at this point? Were you going to die? Was this it for you? The end of (Y/N) (Y/L/N)? You were no longer in agent mode. You were freaking out and became a vulnerable, young teenager who was afraid to die and whose thoughts were racing a million miles per second. 

However, a slight bit of movement high above caught your eye. A glimpse of red and gold flashed by for a moment, and your heart jumped in your chest. ‘Tony... could that have been Tony?’ The little voice in your head asked hopefully, and it was extremely difficult not let your hopes up. You had to be realistic. That couldn’t possibly be Tony.

“Artoo,” you whispered under your breath, trying not to catch the attention of the alien and not letting him know that you were conscious, “Artoo, where are we?”

“We are inside the Q ship. The destination is still unknown. (Y/N), your life functions are getting close to critical. The knife lodged in your abdomen must be removed and the wound cauterized. Would you like me to analyze the best way to remove the blade?”

“Yes,” you hissed, “Also, scan the inside of the ship. Is anyone else here with us?”

After a brief moment of silence, Artoo spoke up once more, “There are a total of four other life-forms asides from you. Dr. Stephen Strange, the smaller, telekinetic alien, Tony Stark and Peter Parker are all on board this ship alongside you. Mr. Stark and Mr. Parker are currently 76 feet above you and are currently arguing about how Mr. Parker was not supposed to stow away on this ship.”

Your heart just about leaped out of your chest at the revelation. Tony was here. All hope wasn’t lost just yet. There was still a chance that everything could turn out okay. But...

“Who the hell is Peter Parker?” You asked Artoo quietly, confused by the name. You had never met anybody named Peter Parker. 

Before Artoo could reply, Dr. Strange began to scream in pain as the needles dug into his skin. 

“Painful, aren’t they?” You heard the alien speak, sounding somewhat smug, “They were originally designed for microsurgery. And any one of them-”

He suddenly stopped talking when a thud sounded somewhere behind him. The alien turned around slowly to see Iron Man standing there, hands up and lasers ready to fire at him before continuing, “-could end your friend’s life in an instant.”

“I gotta tell you, he’s not really my friend,” Tony said quickly, and had you not been in excruciating pain, you would’ve snorted, “Saving his life is more of a professional courtesy.”

“You’ve saved nothing,” The alien replied, bringing a large block of metal down towards him with his telekinesis as he walked slowly towards Tony, “Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.” Another piece of metal also came towards him, and you knew he was gearing up to fight Tony. 

You tried reaching down to pull out one of your own knives, but you ended up crying out in pain as the knife in your abdomen dug in more. This caught the attention of both the alien and Tony.

“Kid!” Tony shouted, trying to get you to respond, but the alien simply raised his hand and a bar of flat metal wrapped itself around your mouth, effectively silencing you. He brought his finger to his mouth, “Shhh, don’t interrupt. You’ve already made more than enough of a mess of things.”

With that, the alien turned back to Tony, who replied, “Yeah, but the kid’s seen more movies.” 

As a small missile launcher popped up from Iron Man’s shoulder, you suddenly felt something cold and sticky on your back, arms and legs, binding you to the ground of the Q ship. Then, Iron Man fired the missile, which blew a huge hole in the side of the ship. The vacuum that was caused by the explosion sucked out the alien and ejected him into the void that was outer space. You screamed as you felt yourself being jerked and tugged towards the opening. You grabbed onto the webs that were holding you in place, hanging on for dear life and praying you weren’t about to die by being thrown into outer space. 

You heard Dr. Strange yelp and watched as he, too, almost got ejected from the Q ship to his death. His sentient cape, however, caught him and held him for a moment. But the vacuum was too strong. Dr. Strange slipped from its grip and your heart almost fell out of your chest because you genuinely thought he was going to die. But then, a flash of metallic colour went by and suddenly, before you could even figure out what happened, Dr. Strange was safe and there was not longer a hole in the wall of the ship. 

You slammed down into the ground, no longer being held up by telekinesis, and you cried out in pain again. You found it hard to catch your breath. 

“(Y/N)!” 

Tony’s voice called your name, and you found yourself being leaned against one of the walls of the ship.

“Artoo, agh!” You cried out, tears stinging your eyes at the pain. You tapped behind your ear twice, causing your suit’s mask to withdraw from your face. You brushed your hair out of your face, trying to understand what was happening. 

“The blade is lodged in (Y/N)’s stomach. Click the little button near the edge of the handle to release the blade from her flesh,” Artoo spoke out loud, instructing Tony on what to do.

“This is gonna hurt, (Y/N),” Dr. Strange spoke, and before you could even respond your vision went white as you screamed from pain. But it only lasted a moment and then, suddenly, you felt a lot better. You heard a faint buzzing noise and then a feeling of relief from your stomach. Tony had used a healing spray that was a feature in his suit to help your wound. 

“That should keep the wound clean and promotes healing,” Tony said, his suit disappearing back into his hoodie as he knelt down in front of you. He went full Iron Dad mode as he scanned you otherwise from head to toe, checking for more injuries, “Did you get hurt anywhere else, (Y/N)?” 

“No,” you breathed out, looking up at Tony and Stephen, “No, I’m okay.” You readjusted yourself so that you could sit up straighter and look around. “I do have a question, though. Artoo mentioned somebody named Peter Parker was on the ship with us. Who’s Peter Parker?”

“U-Uh, that would be me. I’m Peter Parker.”

A familiar voice spoke up, and when you looked over to where it came from, you saw Spider-Man himself standing there. However, his suit was different from when you had seen him earlier in the day. It was more... metallic. It looked like an upgraded version of his old suit.

“Spider-Man... Peter Parker... same person. Okay, that makes sense,” You nodded your head, giving a slight smile, “Looks like I should be jealous of you now. You got a major suit upgrade too!”

Peter chuckled in response, but he was still stunned by the fact that your mask was gone and he was just gazing at your beautiful face. ‘She’s so beautiful... And so skilled. Man, she’s so cool...’ Peter thought to himself. There were those eyes again, those (Y/C) eyes filled with fire and passion for doing what was right. But now, he saw your whole face. Your (Y/C), (Y/L) hair, your face, your smile, you. He was seeing the real you for the first time.

Boy, did he love what he saw. 

“Is your name (Y/N)? I heard Mr. Stark call you that, but i-is that your name? Like, for real?” Peter asked, stuttering lightly out of nervousness.

You smiled up at him and nodded your head lightly, “Yeah. I’m (Y/N), (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I’m an agent trained by S.H.I.E.L.D. and part of the Avengers as of a few years ago.”

At that, Peter had his own mask withdraw from his face, allowing his face to be seen by you. Your heart jumped in your chest and you felt butterflies in your stomach. ‘Oh no... he’s so handsome... and dorky and funny... crap, have I got a crush on Spider-man?’

Those brown curls, the softness of his brown eyes and the kindness on his face... it made your heart race so fast, you wouldn’t be surprised if Peter could hear it. 

“Nice to finally meet you, Peter Parker. I’m glad to see we’re allies this time,” You chuckled, slowly getting to your feet and trying to adjust to everything that happened. Peter stuck a hand out and quickly came to help you get up to your feet. When his hand grabbed yours to help you up, you could’ve sworn you felt electricity coursing through your veins. Maybe your suit just short-circuited. 

“Y-Yeah, haha! I don’t want to get my ass handed to me again by you. The bruises you gave me took longer than any others I’ve gotten to heal. My aunt got so freaked out she almost dragged me to the hospital!” Peter exclaimed, and part of you felt really bad for having caused him that much trouble. 

“I didn’t know that! I’m sorry that I did that to you, Peter. I honestly didn’t know how much of a threat you were and when I saw you fighting Sam and Bucky, I knew you’d put up one hell of a fight. I guess I went a bit overboard, I’m really sorry!” You apologized profoundly, turning bright red as you spoke and explained why you went as hard as you did. 

But Peter just shook his head and grinned a big, boyish grin, “No, don’t apologize! You were so awesome! Man, the way you shattered my web-shooter when it was still on my wrist with your knife but didn’t hurt me mid-swing, that was so cool! You managed to calculate the trajectory and nail the timing to achieve that without using any kind of computer or A.I. to help you! That’s incredible!”

Peter was geeking out about you and you about him, and the two of you continued chatting happily, despite being stranded on a spaceship headed who knows where in the galaxy. “You’re strong enough to stop a whole bus in less than three seconds when it’s going like 50 miles an hour! That’s unbelievable!” You exclaimed, completely amazed by the teenage boy in front of you. 

It turned out that the two of you got along really well and had a lot in common. The more you spoke to Peter, the more he liked you and the more you liked him. It seemed that your gut feeling had been right; the two of you got along really well and would be great friends. And one day, maybe the two of you would even become something more. 

Tony and Stephen watched as the two teenagers with extraordinary abilities bonded over ordinary things like their love of Star Wars films (”You named your A.I. Artoo after R2-D2?! That’s so sick!” Peter had exclaimed moments before) and their admiration of different superheros. 

“Do you think they’ll ever stop talking and realize that things are up in the air and we’re still very much in danger?” Stephen asked Tony quietly, glancing over to where the two kids were laughing together. Tony took a couple moments to observe (Y/N) and Peter and his heart jolted a bit at how much he was missing Pepper. He recognized young love when he saw it. 

“There’s a time and place for that. For now, let them be kids,” Tony replied softly, a small smile appearing on his face when he watched you punch Peter’s shoulder playfully, both of you still chuckling slightly and both of you pink in the face. “Let them be kids. Because after this, I’m not sure if they’ll have time to be kids anymore.”

[kyogre-blue]

Nano follow up 1

Notes: This is another interlude, taking place after they leave Imuchakk. After this, there should be just one final chapter. 

~.~ 

Interlude 2: Trust

The Imuchakk respected warriors above all others, and for an outsider, it was easy to assume that strength in battle was all they respected. Especially for Rametoto, a towering figure covered in battle scars, who carried the air of someone perpetually ready to turn any meeting into a duel. 

However, just from Rurumu, that was clearly not the case. She was a trained warrior, of course, who had passed her adulthood trial years prior. But she was also well mannered and extremely well educated. Economy, diplomacy, administration, even political scheming were among the many fields Rametoto had made part of his children’s upbringing. 

Among their group, only Alibaba could match her, as became quickly obvious when Rurumu began to test them on non-physical skills. 

Not that Ja’far’s attempts to turn it into a physical test went any better. Assassination techniques were not a match for sheer Imuchakk power, wielded with great precision. Rurumu needed only one foot to pin him to the deck while continuing to explain, in a calm, gentle voice, that as merchants, they needed the skills of trade and money. 

“Do you even know how to buy things in a store?” Alibaba wondered, in the test, unhappy atmosphere. “I mean… I can’t imagine you guys shopping.” 

“I’ve bought things!” Sinbad declared happily. 

“With actual money? With more money than three coppers?” 

Sinbad laughed -- more or less admitting that, no, he had barely seen money all his life. His father had fished and then trade those fish for other goods in the village. By the time Sinbad himself was old enough to seek other work outside Tison, mostly directing ships in and out of Contastia, the national currency was in shambles, so he had also been ‘paid’ through goods. 

And after Baal, Alibaba had handled all actual “paying” -- even the first time getting a doctor for Esra. 

“I’m good at haggling though,” he said without a hint of shame. 

“That’s a start, but it works differently from the other side,” Alibaba said. 

“Indeed,” Rurumu agreed. “For a merchant, the most important expression is a smile. This is both your shield and your spear.” 

A shield and a spear, I see, I see, Sinbad nodded along with a smile. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ja’far grumbled, scowling. Unfortunately, even his most fearsome look of disgust only looked cute on his small pale face. It was no wonder he’d covered himself up like a mummy -- otherwise, there was no way he’d be taken seriously as an assassin. 

Very gently, Rurumu swatted him across the head. “Use polite language,” she instructed. Glaring in outrage, Ja’far darted a look at Sinbad, the one he had actually sworn to follow, but Sinbad only looked back. He didn’t necessarily think a few swears were the worst thing ever, but Rurumu probably knew more about training someone than he did. 

“Well, to start with, it’s harder to hit someone who is smiling at you,” Alibaba said. “That goes for being rude or pushy too. Nice customers react better to smiles, and difficult customers will have a harder time pressing you. That’s how a smile is your best defense. As for how to attack… that’s a bit advanced, although I think Sinbad is already a natural at it.” 

It was decided they would demonstrate. 

Dragging over a random assortment of barrels, crates and other objects lying around, they set up a makeshift “storefront” on the deck of their Imuchakk vessel. Moving into position in front of it, Alibaba spun around and… smiled. 

It was kind of creepy. Sinbad, who had been with Alibaba for several months already, knew what his actual smiles looked like, and it was not like that. His expression had changed in a blink too. 

Rurumu gestured to Ja’far, acting as Difficult Customer #1. 

“Hmph! Hmph!” Sticking his nose in the air, Ja’far made overemphasized sounds of disgust as he swaggered up to Alibaba’s… stall. This kid had definitely never shopped before. 

“Welcome, sir!” Alibaba greeted him a bright, sugary tone. “What are you looking for today? Could I interest you in some of our exciting new merchandize? Straight from the extreme north, Imuchakk itself! We have anything for anyone, I assure you that you’ll be satisfied!” 

Ja’far had opened his mouth, teeth bared, to retort something immediately after the first sentence, but Alibaba’s quick, loud offers interrupted him one after another, giving him no room to say anything. By the end, the assassin was left glaring mutely, too unsure whether it was his turn to talk yet. 

Just when he thought that it was safe, Alibaba cut him off yet again. 

“This way, this way, sir!” he beamed, gesturing emphatically toward the storefront of crates. “Take a look at these wares! This carving, isn’t it particularly exceptional?” It was actually a broken plank. “What about this weapon? Doesn’t it just radiate fierce strength?” It was a bent hook. “And this--! And this--! And this--!” 

Ja’far did try to talk at several points, but his voice was completely drowned out. Since Alibaba was still smiling happily at him, the assassin looked increasingly at a loss, frozen in place. 

This was basically bullying. 

“F-fine! Fine, I’ll take it! Just shut up!” Ja’far roared, snatching the… short loop of ragged rope… that Alibaba had been showing in his face with enthusiastic praise of its craftsmanship. Ja’far held it up like he was going to strangle Alibaba with it, but he once again had no chance. 

“That will be twenty silvers! Quite a steal, wouldn’t you say?” Alibaba said brightly, crowding in with his hand outstretched and no sense of self-preservation. “Will you pay with coin or bank credit? We, of course, have a close relationship with all the major banks in the city. Please choose whichever method is most convenient, sir!” 

His smile widened. “Of course, if you are unable to pay at this time… We understand! How can you resist such a fine item! We offer a range of very fair credit options.” 

In rural Parthevia, there were no loan sharks, since no one had anything left to loan. However, Sinbad still felt a sudden, instinctive chill go down his spine. Ja’far, who had survived and made his way to the top of Sham Lash at the tender age of 13, felt the same. Without thinking, he hastily fumbled for something to pay with. 

Finding nothing, he leaned away, sweat beginning to stand out across his brow. He didn’t seem to dare to look away from Alibaba’s unchanging smile. When his blindly searching hands closed around a pouch at his waist, he thrust it out. 

It was, in fact, full of chalk from the slate they used for their writing lessons. However, Alibaba accepted it as if it was the promised twenty silvers. 

“Thank you, good sir! We look forward to seeing you again!” he said, already waving. Of course, Ja’far was already jumping three steps back, one hand clutching a metal dart... while the other still held his newly purchased rope. 

“Very aggressive,” Rurumu commented in a praising tone. 

Wasn’t that... too aggressive, actually? 

Alibaba’s aggressive sales smile dropped as quickly as he’d assumed it to begin with, leaving a far more natural, neutral expression. “Every sale is a battle,” he said very seriously. “Your voice, your expression, your words are all your weapons, and you have to use them well. That’s what it means to be a merchant!” 

The reactions were varied -- Rurumu continued to smile, Sinbad nodded along earnestly, Ja’far just looked disgusted and disbelieving. Hinahoho had managed to excuse himself to mind the ship’s course, and Mahad did his utmost to fade into the background as another piece of the ship. Vittel stroked his chin in thought. 

“Alright, I think I see,” he said. “Let me try?” 

Alibaba gestured him forward. As Difficult Customer #2 stepped up, the salesman of the makeshift stall turned away and back -- and revealed a bright, creepy smile again. 

“Welcome, good sir! Could I interest you in some of our exciting new merchandize...?” 

~.~ 

Vittel was also soundly defeated, despite his best approximation of someone with beady eyes and an upturned nose, picking and needling at every small detail -- someone real, it seemed, from Ja’far’s disgusted expression and Mahad’s shaking shoulders. In the end, he was forced to depart with several broken seashells, looking not entirely sure where and how he’d been outmaneuvered. 

After that, Rurumu began her lessons. Unfortunately, it was immediately obvious that most of them did not have a head for broader theory, whether of buying and selling or broader social behaviors. But Rurumu was an Imuchakk, and she knew how to handle people who did not like to think too deeply. 

Instead, they drilled. 

How to call out to passersby, how to greet a potential customer, how to introduce themselves, even. Repeating the same phrases over and over as they were corrected on their tone, expression and posture. 

The results were naturally mixed. Mahad slowly but steadily adjusted from his trained body language of looming and intimidation to the opposite, practicing faithfully even though he would not be expected to handle sales alone. Vittel progressed well too, having a good head on his shoulders. Ja’far was good when he tried, but only had the patience to try twice before losing his temper and beginning to swear or threaten, or both. 

Sinbad was, of course, a natural. 

After walking him through the basics and having him repeat them back with impressive sparkle and passion, Rurumu dismissed him to focus on her other pupils, leaving Sinbad free to drift over to the sidelines, where Alibaba was watching their progress. 

“How did I do? Any pointers?” Sinbad immediately fished for compliments and advice. 

“You’re amazing,” Alibaba said frankly. “You could probably earn a fortune within a day with just your charisma. If there’s anything… don’t flirt.” 

Sinbad made a face. “Why? It works.” 

“Sometimes. And then sometimes it really backfires,” Alibaba said. “You can get good results without the flirting, but the bad results will be a total failure. It’s safer not to do it at all.” 

“What’s the point of choosing just the safe way? I want to change the world,” Sinbad shot back, shrugging. He waved a hand flippantly. “Besides, I have good instincts. I can tell the direction of the flow. I’ll know if I’m about to make a big mistake.” 

...At least, he thought so. He had never misstepped in a way serious enough that he couldn’t recover from it. But given all the dangerous situations he’d been in, including two dungeons capable of killing entire armies, wasn’t that proof in its own way? 

He was a special person, chosen by destiny. 

“I don’t know if you’re confident or just arrogant,” Alibaba sighed. 

“What’s wrong with being confident?” Sinbad laughed. “You could be more confident yourself. You’re so good at everything, and you always know what to do. You have treasure and a djinn’s power. What are you worrying so much for?” 

He kept his tone light and casual, but it was a question he sometimes wondered about. 

“W-wha--?” Choking, Alibaba stared at him with an expression of comical shock. “What?!” 

What was that reaction? Sinbad’s eyebrows rose and his smile curled with amusement. 

“I’m good at everything? I always know what to do? Me?” Alibaba pointed at himself, full of disbelief. He huffed. “Are you making fun of me?” 

“Well, aren’t you?” Sinbad wondered. 

“No way,” Alibaba replied immediately. 

Making a thoughtful sound, Sinbad didn’t protest although he still didn’t really understand. From his perspective, Alibaba was very capable. 

Obviously, he was a king vessel and a dungeon conqueror. He could use the djinn’s power exceptionally well, and even without that, his swordwork was exceptional. He could think on his feet when in danger and was obviously not inexperienced with combat. From Sinbad’s observations, he didn’t lose out by much to Drakon, an actual soldier and officer in the Parthevian army. 

But even more than that, Alibaba had been able to adjust to every situation they’d been through. He could manage money, he could even make more, he knew how to read and write, he could negotiate and trade and talk to even Rurumu as an equal. Even when he spent some time worrying and pacing first, he had always settled on something and proceeded with it eventually. 

It wasn’t like Sinbad felt he couldn’t match him. But Sinbad was aware that he often had to rely on his intuition and luck for opportunities that he didn’t always understand and couldn’t replicate purposefully. It worked out for him, and he had confidence that it would continue to do so, but wasn’t there something impressive about doing the same without his gift? 

In a way, it was no surprise that Sinbad couldn’t pull him along the way he had with all the others. Probably, Alibaba had his own path that he wouldn’t bend so easily to Sinbad’s will. 

He just wondered… What kind of path was it? 

Alibaba had a goal of some kind and a purpose. He had his reasons for going to Valefor and now to Reim. He had probably had a reason for going into Amon’s dungeon in the first place as well, although it wasn’t possible to tell whether the two were one and the same. 

He didn’t seem to care much about a djinn’s power, so perhaps his goal had been the treasure. Sinbad hadn’t missed Alibaba’s concern for ensuring Miss Anise’s livelihood and residence. Of course, he hadn’t missed their resemblance either, or the fact that Alibaba -- poorly -- tried to hide the name he shared with her young son. 

It was easy to guess something like siblings, maybe close cousins, separated after the sister had a child out of wedlock and was chased out of the family, and the brother than helping her in secret. 

It fit. 

But it also didn’t. 

It was probably… only part of the story. 

Because Valefor’s dungeon had only appeared days before they arrived, long after they’d sent out from Balbadd specifically aiming for a dungeon in the extreme north. Because Alibaba had tried to ask the djinn about “the gate between worlds,” which was a thing there was no reason for even kings to care about. Because even Rametoto, so far from Parthevia, had heard of Baal’s dungeon and Sinbad’s conquest of it, but no one ever mentioned a dungeon in Qishan. 

Because Alibaba had looked so shocked when he heard Baal’s name. What was it that he’d been expecting? Sometimes, Sinbad wondered. 

Was that why he felt he wasn’t doing well -- a difference in expectations? By the standards of a village boy, they had already been successful beyond all belief. But maybe by the standards of a king vessel… 

They had only just gotten started. 

But it was a good beginning, of this Sinbad was certain. 

Grinning, he slapped Alibaba across the back and draped an arm over his shoulders. They were almost the same height now, and the extra weight made Alibaba stoop so they were evenly face to face. “Anyway, you’re pretty great, you know,” Sinbad said, lightly knocking their foreheads together as he leaned in. “So don’t worry so much! It’ll be fine! I guarantee it!” 

Alibaba’s entire expression twitched into a squiggly line, too many vivid emotions blurring into a general feeling of ‘why are you like this’ that was very familiar to Sinbad. 

“Well,” he said finally, his tone dry and crumbling. “Thanks.” 

Sinbad burst out laughing. 

~.~ 

From Imuchakk to Reim was somewhere around a month or two of sailing, depending on the weather and the skill of the crew. With Sinbad’s ability to read the waves and the wind, it was possible they’d make it even faster. The only concern might have been keeping an accurate heading, but Rametoto had provided some old navigation charts for them, from the days where the Imuchakk were feared as unstoppable raiders, before they isolated themselves from the rest of the world. 

Although both Alibaba and Rurumu could read them, their knowledge of sailing was mostly theoretical, so Sinbad preferred to take care of navigation himself. He didn’t mind -- there was something very peaceful about studying the night sky and matching up the constellations to mark their way, alone except for the sound of the waves and the wind. 

Well, maybe not entirely alone. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sinbad asked, smiling. 

Scowling a little, Ja’far stepped out of the shadows of the cabin, his footsteps finally making sound again. He hadn’t been trying to hide, precisely, but it was annoying having even his minor efforts to remain quiet seen through by a bumpkin from the seaside. 

His frustration was amusing, so Sinbad would never tell him that he hadn’t actually been able to tell who was there or the precise location. He had just known there was someone nearby, instinctively. That was why he had continued to watch the sky and the sea, instead of turning around. 

It was tempting to offer a bedtime story, but the atmosphere wasn’t quite right. Silently, Sinbad waited. 

“We need to talk,” Ja’far said, grim and rough. He glared at Sinbad, as if daring him to make some quip. 

Sinbad only raised his eyebrows. “Okay,” he said, turning to give Ja’far his full attention. “Let’s talk.” 

Pursing his lips, Ja’far nodded sharply. “Who is that guy? And how much do you trust him?” he said, direct and uncompromising. He scowled. “And don’t you dare ask me who I mean! That guy is too weird, you can’t have missed it! Where did he come from? How can he have a djinn? It doesn’t make any sense!” 

“Yeah, it doesn’t,” Sinbad agreed. “But I kind of like that.” 

“Like…? Are you stupid?” Ja’far wondered. 

Sinbad laughed. “Come on, isn’t it fascinating? Trying to figure out what’s going on with Alibaba is such a great mystery. I’ve been turning it over in my head, but I can’t imagine what his deal might be. It has to be something amazing, right?” 

This approach was incredibly lackadaisy, and Ja’far wasn’t wrong to give Sinbad a look full of disbelief and disgust. Part of it was that Sinbad had always wanted to remain someone who would be open to others, even after everything that happened with Darius. He hadn’t turned away Yunan, no matter how suspicious the self-proclaimed ‘wanderer’ was. And he hadn’t turned away Alibaba either, no matter how inexplicable his circumstances. 

And hadn’t both of them ended up being a great help to Sinbad? 

“He’s a djinn-user you don’t know anything about!” Ja’far protested. “He’s dangerous!” 

Leaning back against the mast, Sinbad tilted his head back to look at the stars again. “Hm... do you really think that? I don’t. That Alibaba? What part of him is threatening?” 

There wasn’t any part, of course. Alibaba was incredibly un-threatening, in fact. When interacting with him, he simply felt like an ordinary person, without any pretense or hidden side. Even Ja’far hadn’t been able to find anything concrete to latch on to. 

Except for the mystery of his origins, anyway. 

“It’s just that you think he’s dangerous, it’s that you don’t know anything about him and you can’t trust him,” Sinbad judged. “So how about this? Trust in me instead. And I trust him.” 

Ja’far’s face scrunched up in frustration, but he didn’t refuse. He couldn’t. After all, he had agreed to become one of Sinbad’s comrades, and even a former assassin like him could understand that this required a certain trust. But he had never trusted anyone, not since his parents. Not since their blood on his hands... 

“...And me?” he muttered, looking away, his lips pressed together tightly. “Do you trust me?” 

“Of course,” Sinbad answered without hesitation. 

A complicated expression creased Ja’far’s face, but before Sinbad could begin to make sense of it, he looked away with a huff. “Stupid,” Ja’far berated. “Trusting an assassin? It would serve you right if I was just getting close to stab you in the back later.” 

“But you’re not going to,” Sinbad said with absolute confidence. 

He could no longer resist, seeing the way Ja’far’s back hunched and his hair puffed up like an angry cat. Reaching out, he clamped a hand on the boy’s head and began to rub vigorously -- all while laughing in the obnoxious way that would have gotten him pushed into a barrel by Alibaba, if he had been present. 

A shudder of horror went through Ja’far, and he began to hiss and splutter, flailing at Sinbad, who only chortoled. 

Although he pretended to wince at the small fists hitting his chest haphazardly, Sinbad knew Ja’far wouldn’t put up more than token protest, much less actually hurt him. It was ‘trust’, but also his instincts, the same ones that had guided him to offer to make Ja’far his comrade in the first place. And those instincts, that ability to see the flow, had never steered him wrong. 

Alibaba was the one person he could never get a precise read on, as if he did not belong in the flow at all. Maybe Ja’far was right and that should have made him wary, but Sinbad felt only curious, more and more so. 

After all, he had always dreamed of finding the new and unexplored, beyond his knowledge and the horizon. 

To him, first and foremost, Alibaba was fascinating. But also -- even if he walked a path separate from Sindria -- a friend. 

~.~

[razorblade180]

You mentioned before the manner of behavior characters will have in your stories (Yang acting more like Ruby when she's with Jaune). How do you go about deciding characters' personalities when writing them?

I think I’ve had the benefit of joining this fandom a little late. There was a bunch of fanfiction already created and I had plenty of time to read them before I really started writing myself. Going from story to story I started to see that a fair amount followed the same trend when it came to writing ships. (Yang disapproving of Lancaster, Jaune extremely depressed, Weiss’s serious side, Blake being calm, etc.)

That combined with the show proper only really showing characters with two or three kinds of emotions they might flip through burnt me out of seeing them like that. So I got to thinking about traits I’d love to see them express, or traits they have but never really shine through a lot.

No one can argue that Ruby would want to beat up someone who hurts her friends, but we don’t get see her fight anyone and have the aggression of a person who’s trying to beat someone up for a friend. So any time I get the chance to test one of Ruby’s bonds I like to put a little bit more bite behind everything she does because it just makes sense to me that she would be upset that something is messing with her loved ones. I’ll make her confront Yang if she is trying to hinder a relationship with Jaune. He will be chastised by her if he does something viable to get himself or his friends killed out of recklessness. A villain or a flirt will have to deal with her attitude. It’s all out of all love.

Nora is usually made to be a little ditzy or just tension relief but we know she can offer wisdom. Writing her being loving and caring isn’t hard because we know she can do it; we’re just used to someone else doing it. Yeah I keep Nora’s antics in but I also like her being the one to offer genuine comfort in emotional situations. Anytime I write Weiss being stressed out about her emotions (especially with Jaune) I usually consider Yang or Nora because both of them show instances where they can just be really comforting people.

Weiss always has something weighing on her mind in the show so having her live in the moment during something is enjoyable. Let her attempt a joke, being a little crude, wear her emotions on her sleeve, etc. Instead of her acting like “I won’t do this because I find it in proper.” I try to make it more of “I’m going to do this but I’m going to be clumsy at it because I’d never dreamed I’d do it.” Her showing public displays of affection is infectious to her. Saying “I love you” takes either a lot of effort or it’s overflowing with emotions. No matter what trait I give her I take it to some form of extreme because a reserved and poised Weiss is what she always try’s to be; not what she wants to be. (Weiss is like a P5 character to me. She’s ripping the mask off)

Yang is always seen as a firm wall of resolve, crumbling to complete pieces, a social butterfly, or angry. I just wanted to make a Yang that has moments where she’s not exactly a mess, but things still get to her and it shows. I’ve read plenty of things that always have her being the more aggressive purser in any ship, so I just make it an even playing field with Jaune. His active advances can show her being the shy one that’s caught off guard. Maybe the our tough girl wants to be the one held sometimes. A softer Yang just shows that it takes effort to be that strong wall people love.

Blake is always serious so I let her have fun. That’s honestly about it lol. Yeah her past is darker than the rest but she’s still a teen among her friends. Raven from teen titans had moments where she went along with the antics and cut loose a bit. I’d imagine Blake would be no different. My version of knightshade is literally those two being teens. Concerts, late night calls, hangout spots, dumb movie choices. Most stories I see are about trudging up the past and facing it. I’m more interested in a Blake that takes a day to finally gets to see her favorite band perform live because that’s something her past prevented.

These are just a few examples but I literally just sit back and think for a minute of ways these characters would probably act when they’re not constantly trying to be some kind of perfect version of them self. If you write an Adam that’s not thinking about Blake or vengeance then he’s automatically going to more interesting then his show counterpart in my opinion. Jaune can easily be many things because we’ve seen him express so many emotions. (Any person who writes Jaune always has a certain twist to him) I make Emerald care for others like we know she can. We know Mercury has a heart so I make him show it. Raven clearly has. a lot of conflicting emotions and looks like she loves Yang. So a vulnerable Raven with awkward social skills talking to a Yang who would love to let down her guard and be kid just works.

I don’t think what I’m doing is special, I’m just highlighting emotions the characters either try to conceal or emotions that they really should have given their circumstances.

[inquisitorhotpants]

It should have been Kryn.

Not that Ca’ii would wish Vitiate on any of her sisters - or anyone, really - but of the three of them that answered Darth Marr’s call, Vitiate taking up residence in Kryn’s head would have made the most sense. Already tied to the Force, an astonishingly powerful Sith in her own right. 

It should have been Kryn but Kryn died side by side with Darth Marr, advancing on the former Sith emperor with murderous intent, in an explosive lightning strike that lit up the top of the Spire. 

Surely Force bonds aren’t as fanciful as they’re depicted on the Holonet, and it’s not like Ca’ii is exactly an expert on the things, but the holodramas almost universally depict those who suffer a severed Force bond as half-mad, almost feral, driven over the edge by a malady of the soul for which there is no remedy. 

Yes, perhaps it’s for the best that Kryn didn’t survive. 

Raitlia, of all the Sartoris clan the most natural leader, is who Arcann turned to for an alliance - an alliance that turned out to be shorter lived than even Ca’ii expected - and whose mind Valkorion chose to inhabit, as Ca’ii found out after Lana and Koth mounted quite the exciting rescue of the carbonite-frozen Havoc Squad major and her smuggler captain sister. 

As Raitlia drew allies to her side, stepping into leadership of a ragtag coalition as naturally as she herded her younger sisters in a former life that now seems impossibly distant, Ca’ii remained by her side, lending help where needed, speaking for mercy when Raitlia’s jaw was too tight, her green eyes too angry, her knuckles pale with the strength of her grip on her assault cannon. 

Ca’ii is angry too, but Ca’ii has seen enough death, enough fear, enough misery. Too many people stripped of their humanity, too much of the smell of carbon and smoke and blood. Of all her sisters, even her Jedi sisters, Ca’ii has always been the most positive, the most relentlessly upbeat, the diehard believer that things will get better if everyone just tries hard enough. And so she stops her sister from taking out her enmity on Zakuul, on anyone who crosses her, because Ca’ii won’t see her principled, honorbound oldest sister turn into a mirror of the hatred they’re trying to fight. 

Truth be told, even with all that Ca’ii didn’t expect Raitlia to show Arcann mercy, nor Senya for stealing him out from under their noses. Not after Kryn’s death and his attacks on the galaxy and his attempts to kill both Raitlia and Ca’ii. But after a pause that felt like an eternity, Raitlia snapped a clipped let them go, Ca’ii, and fly us back to the Gravestone, her hands clenched into fists, the words forced out from between gritted teeth. 

--

Ca’ii sits alone at a table in the cantina, idly swirling her subpar ale in her mug. 

Her childhood, by and large, was happy. Fardon and Sai’rah may not have been flush with credits, but there was never any doubt that they loved all eight of the girls they took in off the streets of Nar Shaddaa, never any doubt that they would support whatever the girls chose to do with their lives. 

She almost can’t fathom a childhood where one parent cared for nothing but making his children into weapons, while the other seemed content to do nothing but stand by and watch this travesty happen. 

Her gaze, once again, drifts to the figure in white, solitary and silent at a hastily erected table in the back, a fair distance from the rest. His attention is focused on a datapad in front of him, rather than the frivolity around him, and he exudes a distinct air of a person who doesn’t wish to be alone with their thoughts but has no choice in the matter. 

Of course, she understands why people won’t sit within two tables of Arcann. He’s been the boogeyman of the Alliance since the alliance was formed. Everyone remembers what he’s done. There isn’t a person on Odessen who hasn’t lost someone to an attack he ordered. Consequently, there has been no small amount of dissatisfied murmuring about Raitlia’s decision to allow him to join the Alliance, even after he bent the knee and pledged his fealty to her on no less than a galaxy-wide Holonet broadcast. 

Ca’ii shuts this complaining down, naturally, before it gets to Raitlia; no one is going to question whether her sister is doing the best for this alliance on her watch. Indeed, Raitlia commands a truly astonishing amount of respect from an incredible cross-section of ideologies; they’ll accept her decision, if not necessarily throw a parade for it. 

But then again -

She’s run this mental path more than once. What he’s done against what he’s trying to do now. Being good at what she does, though, is due in no small part to her ability to judge character and sense ulterior motive, and there’s no gain for Arcann to have faked his way into the Alliance. With everyone assuming he’ll turn on them, either he’s playing the longest con she’s seen since Darmas Pollaran … or there is no con.

Arcann stands, seemingly oblivious to how conversation dies when he does, and strides out of the cantina. 

After a moment of fierce internal debate, Ca’ii slides her chair back and follows him. 

--

She finds him on the walkway leading to the landing pad for the Felicity, leaning against the railing and staring out at the Odessen wilderness; she stops a polite yet companionable distance away and mimics his stance. “You must be the most un-rowdy patron that cantina has ever seen.” 

His only answer is a noncommittal hmm. 

“I’m sure Qarac appreciates it, especially after she’s had to clean up after Mandos, Sith, and me on occasion,” she continues. When the silence following this stretches out into discomfort, she clears her throat. “I’ll leave you to your ruminations, shall I?”

“Why did you follow me?” he asks, quiet. 

Why did she? 

Ca’ii shrugs. “People haven’t exactly been lining up to welcome you to the Alliance. We all have our differences - I don’t know how Sana-Rae keeps that enclave of hers in line, just from watching my Jedi and Sith sisters interact in the past - but I imagine it’s a bit harder for people to overlook this particular difference, as it were.” 

“That didn’t exactly answer my question.” 

“Well … I know what Raitlia has told me about Valkorion. I know what a monster he was when he was known as Vitiate; I saw what he did to Ziost. I can’t imagine being raised by someone like that, and it’s obvious how he mistreated you and Vaylin.” Though mistreated feels inadequate. “I think that you’ve demonstrated your loyalties, and -” She stops, well aware of how ridiculous her next words are going to sound. “I guess I just thought maybe you could use a friend. Or at least an acquaintance. Especially while Senya is still in her coma, you’re pretty alone here, and no one deserves that.” 

For a long moment he doesn’t answer, and she starts to wonder if he’s going to at all. 

“So I’ve tried to murder the Outlander - who I have since learned is your sister - more than once, not to mention frozen you both in carbonite, waged a scorched earth war against the galaxy ... and you want to be my friend.” One eyebrow arches. “I’m a bit surprised you’re not more of Major Jorgan’s mindset.” 

His eyes really are quite a pretty shade of blue. Damn. Why does she always notice these things? 

She chuckles. “You may be lucky Aric isn’t Force-sensitive, or you might have taken a nasty tumble off a walkway by now. But as much as he glares at you, he won’t cross Raitlia. If she says you stay, you stay. He’ll just be grumpy. But he’s always grumpy. He was even grumpy when he met me, and I’m the most charming of the Sartoris sisters. Don’t take it personally.” 

“He’s right, though.” 

She considers. “I can understand where he’s coming from, yes. Normally anyone who hurts my sisters gets a personal asskicking from me. It likely didn’t escape your notice in the times that our paths crossed that my aim is nothing to sneeze at.”

“But?” 

“But like Aric … if Raitlia says you stay, you stay. And that means I’m not going to treat you like a pariah, if you’d rather not do everything alone. Of course, if you want to be left alone, I won’t force you to enjoy my scintillating company.” This time she grins. “But I think it’s possible you have better judgment than that.” 

Slowly, almost unwillingly, the corners of his mouth pull upward into a faint suggestion of a smile. “One might suggest that I’ve ably demonstrated my judgment is questionable, at best.”

At this surprise bit of self-deprecation, Ca’ii laughs out loud. “Fair point. But so is mine. Ask Raitlia sometime. She had a list a few years ago; knowing her, she still has it. Anyway, I’m going to go back to my quarters and have a good drink and see what’s on the Holonet. If you want to join me.” 

Did that sound flirty? She didn’t mean it to sound flirty, but sometimes that just happens without her trying. 

She isn’t sure she’d be unhappy if it did, which isn’t something she’s going to unpack tonight. 

Arcann shakes his head. “No.” A slight pause. “Not tonight,” he amends after a moment’s thought. He opens his mouth as if to say more, then closes it. “I … thank you for the invitation, however.” 

Ca’ii nods. “Consider it standing. Perhaps I’ll find you out here again.” She just can’t help herself. “You know, that’s my ship.” She points, somewhat unnecessarily, toward the XS sitting on the landing pad. “Doesn’t look like much, but she’s a beauty. I can understand why you’d want to come hang out with her.” 

To her shock, Arcann actually chuckles, low and rumbling. “You caught me,” he says, deadpan and with no attempt to sound genuine. “I’m out here because of your ship, not for the solitude.”

“And here you said you don’t have good judgment.” Ca’ii steps back from the railing. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts. Have a good night, Arcann. Prince Arcann? Former Em-”

He holds up a hand. “Really,” he says, somewhat pained. “Just Arcann.”

“Have a good night, just Arcann.” 

Now she’s sure she’s not flirting, not with that line. It’s the galaxy’s oldest joke, and Ca’ii can still hear her father using it on Kryn, eliciting a groan from the Miraluka every time.  

“And you, Captain Sartoris.” 

“Just Ca’ii is fine, if you prefer. I only make you call me Captain if you’re on my crew.” 

This is an absolute lie. The only person who still calls her “Captain” is Corso. 

Maybe she is flirting. Shit. 

“In that case, enjoy your evening … just Ca’ii.” 

“Did you just -”

Arcann inclines his head and strides past her, leaving her on the walkway and grinning after him. 

This is going to be a problem. 

Pretty eyes are bad enough; he cannot also be secretly funny and somewhat inscrutable and clearly suffering from Lost Lonely Nexu Cub Syndrome. 

Raitlia is going to kick her ass.

[setaripendragon]

So, I accidentally found my way into the Narnia fandom, and, as I have a tendancy to do, immediately started thinking about making a next gen. Of course, I had to make up love interests for them, and I wound up stealing people/families/my own next gen OCs from my other favourite fandoms of the time; Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, and Pride and Prejudice.

So have a bunch of silly little meetcutes I came up with in the middle of the night for the Pevensies and their love interests. (There’s also non-specific references to Lucy/Tumnus in this, just in case that’s a NoTP for anyone)

(Aaand credit to The Stone Gryphon and One Promise Kept for some of my ideas regarding Susan and Edmund’s love interests)

A lot of the boys at Peter’s school had taken badly to the fact that there would be girls at their school this year. Peter had gotten into more than a few fist fights over it, but he wasn’t a King here, he wasn’t even a soldier here, he was just that uppity Pevensie boy, and no one much cared that he thought they were all being petty arseholes.

So he wasn’t surprised to go back for the new term and find the place a seething mass of confusion and tension. The girls who’d transferred in were all variations of stiff or shy or stubborn, and the boys were generally being arrogant, territorial little bastards. Peter took a deep breath, and resigned himself to wading through bullshit for the foreseeable future. He did his best to be courteous to the girls, putting more effort in than he normally might, considering they were likely to see so very little kindness here.

“Well if it isn’t Little Miss Know-It-All!” He heard a voice jeering in a lull in the noise of the hallway, and stopped, turning to try and pinpoint the altercation. “You might be the teacher’s new pet, but do you really think you can keep up in a boys school?”

There. Peter spotted two boys from his own year – Johnson and Oldershaw – boxing in one of the girls. Peter recognised her from one of his classes, but he didn’t know her name. He’d thought she was kind of shy before, but now he could see that there was fire in her eyes as she glared up at the two boys.

“Why not?” She demanded, chin lifted proudly, and Peter grinned, steps slowing. Maybe she didn’t need rescuing after all. Still, he wasn’t going to leave until he was certain, so he slid out of the way of the traffic, and propped his shoulder against the wall to observe.

Oldershaw laughed mockingly, and the girl bristled. Johnson sneered. “Because reading a few books might’ve been enough for a girl school, but this isn’t some prissy little finishing school, girlie.” Johnson laughed now, too. “There’s no way a pretty little mouse like you will be able to keep up on the pitch. Can you imagine her trying to box?” He sneered, and reached out to give the girl’s shoulder a shove.

Indignation drove Peter upright again, because it was one thing to sling words about, but if Johnson was going to start beating up on a girl just to soothe his own ego, Peter was going to pummel him.

The girl got there first.

It was so fast Peter would have missed it if he didn’t have over a decade of experience with the lightning-quick chaos of a battlefield. The girl’s fist snapped out and met Johnson’s jaw, sending him reeling with a yelp. Then she stomped on Oldershaw’s foot when he yelped an indignant insult, elbowed him in the solar plexus, and then headbutted Johnson in the face before he could do more than snarl about the bruise on his jaw.

“I might not have been taught how to box, but that doesn’t mean I can’t dump you on your arse when you’re asking for it!” The girl snapped, and in that moment she reminded Peter painfully of some of the falcons in Narnia’s aerial corps. “I’ve spent a long time around boys a lot tougher than you. You’re not that scary.”

“Why you little-!” Johnson barked, face red with mortification and fury. Several people had stopped to gawk when the violence erupted, and he had to be feeling the eyes on him, the audience to his humiliation. Peter had seen it before, proud lords and generals refusing to back down when they were beaten, refusing to show valour in the face of defeat, wasting the lives of good soldiers for their pride in a vain attempt to prove something that wasn’t even real.

Peter grabbed him by the shoulder before he could lunge. “That’s enough, Johnson. Are you really going to sink so low as to hit a lady?” He demanded, using his High King voice, and infusing it with as much disappointment as he could.

“No lady hits like that.” Johnson protested, but it was bitter and sullen, rather than enraged. There was blood dripping out of his nose, and it only accentuated the pouty expression on his face.

Peter grinned cheerfully, and clapped him on the shoulder. “Then she’ll fit right in here, won’t she?” He asked pointedly and Johnson scowled at being caught out like that. “Best go see the nurse about your nose. Why don’t you see him there, Oldershaw?” Peter commanded.

With a bit more grumbling, they went. The girl eyed them warily until they were out of sight, and then turned her suspicious scowl on Peter. “Thanks.” She said, not gracefully, but sincerely.

Peter’s grin became a genuine smile. “You had them handled perfectly well.” He assured her. “I just don’t think you’d like to get in trouble for brawling on your first day.”

The girl snorted and shrugged, then stuck out her hand with almost aggressive assertiveness. “Jane Goodall-Darling.” She introduced.

Peter shook her hand. “Peter Pevensie. Nice to meet you.”

Jane’s eyebrows flew up, and she tipped her head to eye him with suspicion again. “Peter, huh?” She asked, with a level of meaning layered underneath that caught Peter by surprise, and grabbed his attention in a vice. It was exactly the same sort of tone that he or any of his siblings might use when asking ‘a lion, huh?’ or some variation thereof. So he just nodded slowly, and waited to see what she’d make of it. “What’s your opinion on growing up?” Jane eventually asked.

Peter had been expecting something a little weird, but that was such an odd question, it took him a moment to process, and another moment to decide how on earth to answer. In the end, on nothing more than the strange certainty that there was something a bit Narnian about the question, he answered with the truth. “Looking forward to it.” He admitted wryly. And when Jane’s eyebrows popped up again, he shrugged. “I can’t wait to catch up with myself.” He explained, without really explaining.

But Jane obviously caught the same sense of more that he had, because after a single beat of surprise, she grinned. “You’ll do.” She decided, and linked her arm through Peter’s. “Escort a lady to class?” She asked him with an air of playful superiority.

Peter inclined his head with all the gravity of a king. “It would be my honour, Lady Jane.”

Jane gave a very inelegant snort, but played along, and let him guide her down the hall towards their next class. “Yes, it would.”

Susan shouldn’t be here, she knew she shouldn’t, but she didn’t care. A little make-up, and she could look almost twenty with ease, and no one questioned whether she was old enough to be in the pubs and dance halls. It was as close as she could get to feeling like an adult again, so she would take it. It was nothing like the parties and balls and festivals she’d attended and hosted in Narnia, but the energy was the same, joy and romance and community, all touched with a hint of wildness. In Narnia, it had been a gleeful sort of wildness, but here it was touched with desperation.

The bar she’d chosen tonight was, as always, full of soldiers on leave or injured or about to be shipped out. All of the women who ventured in were showered in attention and offers to buy drinks, and Susan was no exception. She politely declined the offers, and bought her own drink. It wasn’t because she didn’t appreciate the offers, or because she wasn’t interested in flirting with some of the soldiers. It was just that she missed her independence so much, and this was her attempt to reclaim a shadow of it.

She sipped her drink and chatted idly with one of the other women – who had accepted the offer of a drink, and probably more, going by the arm her soldier had around her waist – enjoying being treated like a sensible adult for once. She debated buying a second drink as she finished the first, but before she could make up her mind, a new drink identical to her first was placed in front of her. She gave the woman behind the bar a wary look. “I didn’t order another one.” She pointed out.

“It’s from the gentleman over there.” The woman said with a nod towards a man in civilian clothes, but with the bearing of a soldier, sitting at a table not too far from Susan’s place at the bar. He was dark-haired and handsome, and flashed her a roguish grin when he caught her stare. Susan injected a touch of Queenly Disdain into her look, and twitched one eyebrow up in scathing question.

The grin became more sheepish than debonair, and he slipped out of his chair to wander over and lean on the bar beside her. “Saw you turning down all those offers of drinks and figured I’d be smart about it and ask forgiveness instead of permission.” He pointed out, and Susan was intrigued to note the muted American accent colouring his words.

There was a long pause as they each waited for the other to speak. “Well?” Susan prompted, when it became clear that the man wasn’t going to continue.

He looked confused for a beat, and then laughed as understanding dawned clasping his hands together before his chin as if in prayer. “Please forgive me for tricking you into getting a free drink?” He pleaded.

“Hmm…” Susan mused thoughtfully, eyeing him. “No.” She decided, and he gasped and clapped a hand to his chest like she’d shot him. “If you want my forgiveness you’re going to have to earn it.”

“And just what might the forgiveness of such a proud lady cost a poor lowly soldier like me?” He teased, pulling an exaggerated expression of woe. It didn’t suit his face at all.

“An evening of decent company and at least one more drink.” Susan declared, and felt a surprising little burst of pride when what appeared to be genuine delight lit up his face. He straightened up and offered her his arm, nodding towards the table he’d claimed, since there wasn’t room for him to join her at the bar. Susan snagged her drink and took a sip, letting him wait there with his arm out for a long moment before she accepted it.

He pulled out her chair for her like a proper gentleman, and sat opposite her in a casual sprawl that was significantly less gentlemanly. “Oh, where are my manners?” He asked suddenly, sitting a little straighter. “Sergeant Jack Manchester, at your service, my lady.”

Susan extended her hand to him, daring him to do anything other than shake it properly with her gaze alone. “Susan.” She replied as he obliged, grip firm but eyes bright with humour. No last name, because if anyone – like an overly charming American soldier – asked after a Susan Pevensie, they would find a fifteen year old girl, not the woman she was pretending to be. Not the woman she actually was.

“Just Susan?” Sergeant Manchester asked, not quite whining, not quite pouting, but with too-soulful eyes and a plaintive, teasing lilt to his voice.

Susan couldn’t help it. “Gentle Susan.” She corrected, even though it was stupid, he wouldn’t get the humour of it, it would only confuse him and make her seem odd. She could have cursed herself the moment it left her lips, because she’d been having so much fun not-quite-flirting with this man, and now he was going to think her strange.

Only, instead of judgement, a look of thoughtful curiosity flashed across the Sergeant’s face. “Gentle as in kind? Gentle as in light of touch? Or Gentle as in noble?" He questioned, playing along despite the apparently ridiculous turn to the conversation.

“Yes.” Susan replied, feeling her heart stutter once in disbelieving hope.

Sergeant Manchester – Jack – gave her a slow, easy, approving smile, eyebrows raised in delighted incredulity. “Gentle Susan.” He repeated, like he was trying out the taste of it. “Queen Susan.”

Susan’s breath caught. “Queen?” She echoed, barely hearing herself. He couldn’t possibly know, could he? It wasn’t possible, except, of course, that she and her siblings had stumbled their way into Narnia through some old wardrobe. Whose to say there weren’t other doors to Narnia out there, for other people to trip through?

“My very own White Queen.” Jack confirmed, which was like a bucket of ice-water down Susan’s spine. No. He didn’t know, or he would not compare her to that awful creature. He caught her grimace before she could tuck it away and be tactful, and his eyebrows knotted together in apologetic concern. “No?” He questioned.

Jack looked like a puppy when he did that, Susan couldn’t help but think. “White isn’t exactly my colour.” She replied, managing a touch of teasing to match his from before.

It seemed to work, because he brightened immediately. “No, I can see that.” He agreed. “Not red, either, though.” He pointed out, and Susan tipped her head in agreement, although she wondered at the way he phrased it. Most people wouldn’t set white and red as opposites that way, but then, she mused, most people wouldn’t hear ‘gentle’ and jump straight to ‘queen’ either. “Green?” He wondered, but Susan shook her head. She had worn green, sometimes, while she was in Narnia, but it certainly hadn’t been her favourite.

“I’ve always been partial to purple.” She informed him.

“The royal colour, of course.” Jack agreed, shaking his head at himself like he thought it was silly he hadn’t guessed. “You would look absolutely stunning in purple, my queen.” He teased.

Susan had kind of missed being called that. It was silly, but so many people she’d cared about – people long dead, now – had called her that day in and day out that it was both a comforting familiar and a bittersweet reminder. And it was equally silly to think that such a small, simple thing could make her want to keep Jack forever, but she couldn’t help it.

She probably wouldn’t see him again after tonight, and he might be dead within the year, but she could let herself pretend just for the evening. “I do.” She agreed lightly, making him laugh, and then drained the last of her drink. “And now, I believe you still owe me a drink, Sergeant.”

“As my queen commands.” Jack announced dramatically, and this time, Susan let herself laugh at the small joy of being seen, in some small way, for who she truly was.

Edmund honestly had no idea how they’d ended up getting dragged to someone else’s Sunday roast, but he figured any bloke who was so besotted with Susan that he genuinely couldn’t wait to introduce her to his family, even after the nasty shock of finding out just how old she actually was, physically, was probably a decent prospect for his sister. Peter clearly didn’t agree, and kept giving Jack wary, judgemental stares. To his credit, Jack wasn’t letting them touch him. He continued to tease and joke with Susan, coaxing out the brighter, gentler side of her that Edmund had worried she’d lost on their return to this world.

The house was a large one, just as impressive as Professor Kirke’s old manor, and it was a good thing, too, because there were so many people there that anything smaller would have burst at the seams. Edmund had to flex diplomatic skills he’d almost forgotten in order to remember everyone’s names, and there was so much colour and chaos and strangeness that it felt like a little piece of home. The only thing missing was a few talking animals.

It was too easy, and yet strangely jarring, to slip into the role of King Edmund the Just, to move about the simple family gathering like it was a diplomatic function with the rulers and sovereigns of neighbouring lands, and he found himself pulling together a map in his mind. Jack’s father was Lord Manchester, originally of England but now living with his wife in America. Jack’s father’s half-bother was Victor Ascot, Esquire, who only had one daughter and was planning to pass his estate to his sister’s eldest son, Odhran Kavanaugh.

The Kavanaugh clan were easy to spot, because they were, to a one, violently ginger and freckled. Then there was Mrs Kingsley, their heavily pregnant hostess and her widowed mother who lapsed into Mandarin whenever she was annoyed. Edmund was intrigued – and delighted – to learn that Mrs Kingsley – Lynn, as she insisted he call her – was, in fact, the master of the Kingsley estate, not her husband.

It was around that point in the conversation that Edmund spotted Lucy slipping away upstairs, and followed her. He found her hiding in a spare room, cluttered with old junk. An age-spotted mirror, an old but still serviceable loom, a large chest of drawers, a very fancy old divan, and several scattered collections of oddities like kaleidoscopes, cards – some of which appeared to have been nibbled – chess sets, and tea cups. A bowl of pot-pourri on top of the chest of drawers made the whole room smell like an orchard, although not one Edmund could pinpoint. Maybe cherries?

His sister was sitting on the divan, clutching her stomach like she was about to throw up and gasping like she was trying very hard not to cry. Edmund’s heart went out to her, but he hesitated to intrude. Instead, he called her name from the doorway. She startled, sniffled, and turned to him with a painful attempt at a smile. “I’m okay, Ed, I just- just need a minute.”

“It’s eerie, isn’t it?” Edmund asked instead of leaving.

Lucy stared at him for a long, long moment, and then crumpled. “I want to go home so bad, Ed.” She sobbed, hands coming up to hide her face.

Edmund finally went to sit beside her and put an arm around her. “I know.” He sighed. “This place- Jack’s family, they’re… they seem almost too good to be true. I keep catching myself talking like- like myself, and realising no one even batted a lash.”

“I can see why Susan loves him.” Lucy agreed softly, and then in a whisper. “That’s the problem. I wish I could enjoy it, finding so many amazing open-minded people here, but… it only reminds me of everything- everyone I’ve lost.”

“Maybe it’s not them that’s lost. Maybe it’s you what got lost, and they still know exactly where they are. Ever thought of that, huh?” Edmund and Lucy both startled at the new voice and looked down to see a custard-and-cream coloured dormouse wearing a little indigo blue tunic standing on Lucy’s knee. Lucy chuckled softly, even as Edmund stared.

“Maybe you’re right.” Lucy agreed. “I do feel rather lost right now.”

Edmund cleared his throat, and both Lucy and the mouse looked up at him. “Excuse me, my good mouse, but… what are you doing here?” He asked, and saw from the corner of his eye Lucy’s eyes widen and then snap back down to the mouse as if she’d only just realised that there really, really shouldn’t be talking animals on this side of the wardrobe. Even in the house of a family that joyously accepted interracial and same-sex partnerships, made no fuss about women in power, and didn’t treat children like they were stupid.

“It’s Sunday, innit?” The mouse demanded. “Everyone-”

“Sal!” This new voice echoed from the mirror of all places, and Edmund watched in awe as a person stepped out of it, the silvery glass rippling like water in their wake. “Sal, I told you, you cannae come this time, Jack said he was bringing gue-” The man was handsome, with curly hair a rich shade of red and long enough to pull back into a tail at the nape his neck, underneath a somewhat lopsided tartan fishing hat. There was golden stubble dusting his jaw, and he was wearing the sort of loose white shirt that Edmund knew from experience would be terribly transparent when wet. “Guests.” The man finished with a grimace. “Ach, hello there. I see you’ve, ah, already met Sallevlan.” He greeted, shooting a glare at the little mouse, whose ears twitched back in contrition even as they lifted their little head in defiance.

“Yes, they’ve been very nice.” Lucy assured the man.

He blinked, but then smiled in clear relief. “You’re nae… scared?” He checked.

“Oh, no, not at all!” Lucy insisted. “Not to say that Sallevlan couldn’t be fearsome if they wanted to, but they were really very kind and helpful.” Sallevlan puffed up with pride. “I’m Lucy Pevensie, and it’s very nice to meet you both.”

“Tavan Hightopp.” The man replied, holding out a hand for Lucy to shake, and then to Edmund.

Edmund refused to let himself let the touch linger, but he couldn’t help noting the multi-coloured ink stains on the long fingers with a touch of entirely inappropriate desire. “Edmund.” He said, keeping his voice level and polite, even though he was so tired of holding himself back like this. Tavan, though, seemed to pick up on something regardless, and his gaze lingered.

Odd, Edmund could have sworn his eyes were grass-green, but now they looked lilac. “Well, if you don’t mind Sal, mayhap I could let the others know they can come if they want? They were a wee bit disappointed when they heard Jack wanted tae introduce someone new but they couldnae come meet them yet.” Tavan explained, words coming fast and eager. Even though Lucy was the one who’d carried the conversation so far, his eyes stayed on Edmund’s.

“We’d love to meet everyone.” Edmund said, smiling faintly.

“Great! I’ll-” Tavan turned towards the mirror mid-sentence, and stammered to a stop when another person stuck just their head and shoulders through it. Edmund thought he could see a hazy image of the rest of their body through the glass, but it was distorted by the reflection of the room. Their features were similar enough to Tavan’s that Edmund didn’t doubt they were related, even though the woman had much shorter hair, a narrower, smoother jaw, and cat-yellow eyes.

“Tavan!” She snapped. “Did ye find Sal y- Oh.”

“I found him.” Tavan replied, laughing. “Although some of Jack��s guests found him first. This is Edmund and Lucy Pevensie.” He introduced. Lucy waved, and Edmund nodded. “And this is my twin sister, Tallis.” Tavan added to them, before returning his attention to his sister. “I think it’ll be safe tae let everyone come, Lissy.”

“Yeah.” Tallis agreed, eyeing the way Lucy wasn’t batting a lash when Sal demanded to know if this ‘Susan’ Jack had gushed about was really as Gentle as a Queen. “I’ll just… let Pa know.” Tallis promptly vanished into the mirror and Edmund, assured for the moment that Lucy was too distracted to be properly upset, rose to join Tavan in standing in front of it.

“Where does it go?” Edmund asked conversationally. There was a second reflection in the mirror, and if he focused, he could see an old-fashioned living room, caught somewhere between rustic, golden age, and fantastical. It wasn’t anything like Cair Paravel, but there was still something distinctly Narnian about it that took his breath away. And the people he could catch glimpses of like ghosts were equally Narnian, perhaps more-so. He saw a passel of pale, white-haired kids like river nymphs or winter sprites, a bunch of puppies gambolling with them and very clearly conversing with them, too, a grey-blue cat hovering in mid-air above the head of an older woman in trousers who looked enough like Tallis and Tavan to be related, although she was blonde rather than red-headed.

Tavan glanced from him to the mirror and back again. “My home in Iplam. It’s a region in Underland that my pa is the Laird of, although it’s also part of the Outlands.”

“Do you have a map?” Edmund asked hopefully.

Tavan laughed. “Well, we do, but it might take you a while tae learn how tae read it.” He explained sheepishly. “Underland can be a wee bit confusing for people who are used tae thinking in a linear sort of way.” Edmund blinked, and stared. He had no idea how a map could possibly be non-linear, but he suddenly, desperately wanted to find out. Tavan must have read some of that hunger on his face, because his grin turned delighted. “Mayhaps… mayhaps after dinner, ye’d like tae come visit?”

“I’d love to.”

Lucy had never waged war like this before. This was far more Edmund and Susan’s court, this wheeling and dealing, the way money and power spoke louder than truth. She refused to curb herself, refused to play the games of little lies and small concessions, but she did learn how to insert herself into places where her words, her truths, would be heard.

She became a well-known name in the world of human rights, civil rights, people rights. She aligned herself with groups and charities and people who were willing to fight for those things, even if it wasn’t all of them. She learned how dropping the right name could get her into the same areas as influential people, and she learned that just looking like you have money made people listen to you.

There were precious few people who agreed with her on most things, and none yet that agreed with her on everything, but she refused to give up. She travelled the world, saw amazing places, met amazing people, and came back to England with their stories on her tongue and a fierce longing for her true home in her heart.

When the invitation to a fundraiser at Pemberley came, Lucy went, because she never missed a chance to pour her words into the ears of the affluent and influential. The Darcys were old money, and even higher up on the social ladder than Susan’s new family-in-law, but Lucy had been a Queen once, and she forced them to make space for her; a middle-class woman from Finchley with delusions of influence.

It was a surprisingly productive evening, even if Lucy did have to threaten one politician with a knife to get him to back off and stop patronising her. It wasn’t that she wasn’t interested in romance, it was just that most of the men who were interested in her wanted things she couldn’t give them. Things like marriage and children.

Peter and Susan didn’t understand. They’d lost a lot when they left Narnia, but they hadn’t lost what Lucy had. They understood her grief, of course, but they still expected her to get over it, eventually, to move on and build a new life here. Well, she was doing, she just couldn’t bring herself to walk the same paths she had in Narnia. She thought Edmund understood, even if he had adopted Underland as his new Narnia and managed to build so much of what he’d had before with new people in that new place.

Lucy couldn’t.

When the ache got too much, she slipped out of the house, away from the party, and into the woods. They were beautiful, more wild than she often saw in England, and Lucy wanted to cry. If she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend she was back in Narnia, a warm midsummer night with the dryads and the fauns revelling in the dark.

She kicked off her shoes without hesitation, not caring where they fell, and let her toes wiggle into the dew-damp grass. The grass was cold, but the soil beneath was warm under her feet, and she let go of the weight of her worries for a moment, and just danced. Broken twigs and chipped pebbles bit at her feet, but she didn’t care. Once upon a time her feet had been toughened by how often she ran barefoot through the woods, and even though she couldn’t manage it here, she wanted to pretend, just for a little while, that all that time, those thousand years that had spirited her family away from her were gone.

“Oh!”

Lucy spun to a stop, staring at the young man standing between the trees, staring at her in shock. She recognised him from the party, but couldn’t place him right away. One of the Darcy children, she thought. He did have the look of his father, all olive skin and dark curly hair. “Hello.” She greeted, because even if she’d wanted to be alone, she wasn’t going to be rude.

The man blinked at her, and then let out a breath that was caught somewhere between a sigh of relief and an incredulous laugh. “Hello. Sorry. For a moment there, I thought I’d stumbled across a fairy ring and that you were some sort of spirit of the woods or something.” He admitted with another little self-deprecating laugh.

Lucy beamed, more flattered than he’d expected her to be. More flattered than she’d expected to be. “Who says I’m not?” She challenged.

The man tipped his head in acknowledgement. “I suppose you could be. I just wouldn’t have expected a nymph to just say hello to an intruder like that.” He pointed out. “…Although I can’t imagine what they would do…”

“Well, it depends what they want, doesn’t it?” Lucy countered, stepping closer to see him better in the gloom of the forest at dusk. His eyes went a little wide at her approach, but he didn’t retreat, so Lucy dared to step close enough for a polite conversation. “If I just wanted to dance alone in the moonlight, I might have run, or told you to leave. But if I want company, the polite thing to do is to say hello.”

He nodded, opened his mouth, and closed it again. “That does make sense. Although it’s hard to imagine some fey creature wanting the company of humans, except for nefarious purposes.” He mused, shifting from foot to foot like he was uncomfortable, but there was also a crooked little smile tugging hopefully at the corner of his mouth, like he wanted to invite Lucy to share the joke.

And Lucy did, maybe more than he meant her to, because, well, she knew nymphs, and she knew just how ‘nefarious’ most people here would consider their purpose on a midsummer night. She laughed, giggled into her hand. “Maybe my purposes are nefarious.” She teased. “Maybe I’m dancing out here to lure some pretty young thing into the woods for a different kind of dance.”

His eyes went huge. “…Okay.”

The word came out breathless and awed and nervous, and Lucy took the invitation without a second thought, stepping into his space and leaning up to kiss him, just as he started to say something else. “I m-” Lucy drew back and raised her eyebrows at him. He just stared for a long moment. “I- I mean- Really?” He checked.

“Of course, really.” Lucy assured him. “Unless you don’t want to. I don’t mind.” She added, gently, because there were all those silly expectations and unspoken rules here, and she had no idea if he even knew whether he wanted to or not.

“I- I do, I just… don’t-” He stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again. “I never- Everyone always expected-”

“Expected more from you than you wanted to give?” Lucy supplied, in a moment of clarity and painful empathy with him. “They expect it to mean something so much more than just people being together and touching each other because it feels good?”

He was looking at her with wonder again. “Yes. Yes, that’s it exactly.” Lucy smiled, and kissed him again. This time, he kissed back, and Lucy tugged and twisted at his shirt until she had him backed up against one of the trees. She could imagine how the dryad would giggle, would wrap her arms around the pair of them, would lower her lips to his neck or whisper wicked things in his ear. They parted for breath, and Lucy diverted her attention to freeing his neck from the confines of his collar.

His hands slid up her sides, his touch cautious and uncertain. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” He admitted on an exhilarated breath.

“That’s okay.” Lucy murmured, even as his words pulled on the memory of her own mouth forming words so much alike, and the reassurance her dear, dear friend had murmured to her. The words she’d needed, the words that had started them down a path they’d planned to walk side-by-side forever. But instead of hurting, like reminders of him so often did, it felt strangely right, as though he was right behind her, too, his arms around the both of them, a smile on his lips and a light in his eyes as he said, in tandem with her; “We can figure it out together.”