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lemonlover1110 · 2 years ago

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𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝

Toji Fushiguro

[Chapter 7] First Ultrasound

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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

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On what you’re assuming is the start of the third month of your pregnancy, you finally manage to make an appointment for your first ultrasound. You debate if you want to tell Toji or not. Would he want to come? You’re not too sure if you’re being honest. He’s told you that he wants to be the best possible father for your child, but you don’t trust him. Given his track record, you can’t exactly trust him.

“I’m just here to drop off your money.” Toji can easily transfer money through the bank monthly, but he chooses to give it to you. Every two weeks he’s at your door with your money. You agreed to quit your second job and take his money; you still have your second job, but the nights that you know he’s coming, you take off. Toji invites himself in even if he’s just handing you an envelope. He never comes just to give you that.

“How’s work?” You ask, closing the door when he enters your apartment. You find it ironic that you talk more now than when you were married. He actually engages in conversation now, and he tries to talk to you as well, asking how you’re doing.

“Exhausting.” He answers. You can tell that he’s been working more lately, or at the very least he’s not getting proper sleep. There’s visible bags under his eyes, and he’s slowly letting himself go, at least he doesn’t give the proper care since he has a bit of a stubble; he’s also due for a haircut. “How about you? How are you holding up?”

“I’m doing okay… I’ve been dealing with a bit of morning sickness but nothing crazy.” You answer. You leave out any other of your symptoms. How your breasts are sore, you’re extremely tired (which can also be alluded back to your second job), how you’ve suddenly been having the weirdest cravings. Sure, you’re talking, but you don’t want him to know more than necessary. You try to change the topic since you don’t like having the spotlight on you, “How’s Megumi doing?”

“He’s doing fine… He has a baseball game next Thursday, if you want to come.” He informs you and you take a note of it. You’ll try to go since you have a soft spot for Megumi, but you’re not certain that you’ll make it.

“I’ll try. Hope I’m doing better then.” You respond. He slowly nods in response, and he tries to think of something to talk about, but nothing comes to mind so he begins to walk to the door. He won’t try to waste both of your time. Before his hand wraps around the doorknob, you speak up,

“Toji…” He completely stops. Not a single breath comes from him until you speak again, “I know that you’re busy so, I’m just inviting you to be courteous… I have my first ultrasound tomorrow, if you want to join me.”

“What time?” He asks, and you tell him. At noon. He nods, and tells you, “I’ll come pick you up.”

He stands still for a moment, wondering what to do next. Wondering if you’re going to do something else. You stand in completely awkward silence for a minute before Toji realizes that nothing else will happen, so he walks out. He doesn’t say goodbye, although you don’t mind it because he never does.

Toji hasn’t been a man that’s usually punctual, so you’re surprised when he’s early. You might’ve told him that the appointment was earlier than it actually is so you wouldn’t be late, but there’s not much you can do when he’s right in front of you, thirty minutes before your appointment. The place isn’t even a twenty minute drive.

“Hi.” You awkwardly smile at him. You notice how he’s finally shaved the stubble, and you’re curious if he did so last night or this morning. “So… I might’ve– The appointment was pushed back to twelve thirty.”

“Oh– Okay.” He answers. You almost tell him the truth, but it might incite an argument so it’s best if you ignore it and tell a little white lie. He won’t question much, he never does, so you’re safe. “Did you eat something already? Do you want to grab something to eat?”

“I don’t have much of an appetite.” You respond, and he nods his head. He isn’t going to argue with you that you should eat something regardless, you’re pregnant and you have to keep yourself healthy for the baby– He isn’t your father nor your husband, you’re old enough to make your own decisions. And while Toji wishes he could say he was worried about this pregnancy, he simply isn’t. As fucked up it is to even think about it, he’s more worried about you than the child you carry.

“What do you want to do then? Do you just want to head out and wait?” He asks, and you nod your head in response, if you get lucky, your appointment will start earlier. You disappear out of his sight for a moment to grab your purse, but you’re back quickly. You exit the apartment and you begin to walk to his car.

The car ride is silent, you don’t have much to talk about. You don’t sense him being as excited… Or excited at all about this so you’re quiet. You don’t pay him any mind. You’re over the moon at the thought of looking at your baby for the first time. You’re in disbelief that you’re about to become a mother. Finally.

You get to the place and check in. Waiting feels interminable as you sit next to Toji. He simply looks around, while you begin to play a game on your phone. Toji finds himself bored, and since he doesn’t have anything interesting to do, he chooses to try and talk to you. He clears his throat, and speaks up, “So how far along are you anyway?”

“Hm… I think, maybe three months along? I do have a bit of a bump.” You share, and Toji’s brows raise, he looks over at you, but your shirt is baggy which doesn’t let him really figure anything out. His eyes keep staring, and he finds himself frustrated at the fact he doesn’t know. If you lived with him he’d see your body better, and he’d notice every small change. At least that’s what he thinks.

Your name is called and you stand up, following the woman to the ultrasound room. Toji follows behind, walking much slower, trying to see if he does notice a bit of a bump. The previous night you were wearing a tank top– He didn’t notice anything then. He isn’t all too observant anyway so maybe he missed it.

Toji watches as you lay down, and you begin to talk to the technician. He doesn’t pay much attention to what’s going on between you two. Until you finally lift up your shirt, and he does see a bit of a bump. It’s nothing that’s really noticeable but it’s there when you lift up your shirt, it’s definitely something he would’ve noticed if you lived together.

You squeal as the cold gel is poured on your abdomen, and the transducer is then pressed on your skin. Your eyes then fall on the monitor, and an immediate smile comes to your lips. A little kidney bean. Your eyes well up with tears as the technician points out their little head.

“It’s just one baby, right?” Toji asks, and the technician assures him that it’s just one baby. It makes him breathe a sigh of relief. He notices you stick out your bottom lip, and he rolls his eyes. You seriously didn’t want twins, did you?

You look over at Toji, trying to see if there’s a bit of excitement behind his eyes when he looks at the ultrasound, and while it’s not clearly written on his face, you see a spark in his eyes as he looks at the monitor. He perks up when he hears the sound of the baby’s heartbeats. It’s in that moment that Toji realizes just how big this is–

He’s a father, he knows the birth of a baby is a big deal. Toji would give up his life for Megumi. But your pregnancy… The beginning of it didn’t excite him the way that his first wife’s did. Maybe it’s because he was set on not being a father again, or maybe it’s because you’re separated. Perhaps it’s because even though he wanted to use your pregnancy as a means for you to stay, you still left. He’s just focused on you and your relationship, not the fact that he’s actually becoming a father again. Doing it all over again.

He isn’t sure if he’s ready to do it all over again; but he feels the excitement slowly grow by looking at his baby and listening to their heartbeat. It’s nothing too crazy though.

When the technician finishes up, you’re handed a napkin to wipe off the gel. You do so, and you’re told to wait for the doctor. You’re smiling foolishly, thinking that you’re becoming a mother even though you had given up on that dream a while ago. Given that dream up for the man that’s waiting next to you.

“You seem really excited.” Toji comments when you’re left alone. He watches your hand go to your lower abdomen as you look up at him.

“I am. I can’t wait to meet my baby.” You answer. Toji chuckles, your excitement radiating and infectious. “Do you want a baby boy or a girl?”

“Hmm… A baby boy since I already know how to deal with boys. I have no idea how I’d raise a girl.” He responds. “How about you? Do you want a girl or a boy?”

“I don’t have a preference, I just want a healthy baby. Boy or girl.” You reply, and Toji wonders if that’s how he should’ve responded. Would that have gotten him positive points with you? Did his response fuck everything up a little more?

The doctor walks in, and she tells you what you want to hear. The baby is healthy, and growing the way they should be. You’re around fourteen weeks along– Which means you’ll be due around December, and that you’re further along than what you assumed. Your baby wasn’t conceived the night that you told Toji you’d be leaving him.

You get your ultrasound pictures, and Toji takes two, even though he tries to act like he isn’t excited.

#toji x y/n #toji zenin #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #toji fushiguro #daddy toji #fushiguro toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #jujutsu toji #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji x you #dilf toji #toji fushiguro x you #toji fanfic #toji fic

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nanoko857 · 2 months ago

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Detective Conan - Itakura Suguru's Software

Summary of Events up to Chapter 1141

In a shocking turn of events, the Itakura Suguru case has made a comeback! With chapter 1144 coming out soon, I wanted to do a recap of the hints dropped in recent chapters regarding Itakura Suguru and the Black Organization. This thrilling arc is one of my favorites in the entire series, so I was really happy to see it being brought up again.

Conan and the Mouri's were tasked with finding Itakura Suguru by his colleagues, one of whom ended up killing him. During this investigation, Conan discovered that Itakura made contact with Tequila and was able to take his diary after solving the case.

Thanks to this diary, he found out that Itakura was forced to create a mysterious software program for the Organization, but he decided to give up on this project and flee "for the sake of humanity" (although he was killed in a separate incident before he could flee).

Conan delivered the unfinished program to Gin and Vodka in the hopes of tracking them, but failed. Not much is known about the program at this point.

Over 750 chapters later, this case suddenly flashed back into Conan's mind when Eri explained that a cat's cry and a baby's cry sound similar.

A few chapters after the Itakura Suguru case, there was mention of a cat's cry in Itakura's diary. Vermouth, who had forcibly pulled Itakura into working for the Org, was heard with a cat crying in the background of a phone call. Vermouth is not a character shown to get nervous easily, so for her to get nervous and suddenly cut out the call just from the cry of a cat is a interesting thing to specify.

Yukiko confronts Vermouth regarding this during the Bell Tree Express, noting the she famously did not get along with Itakura. Most likely, the Org requested someone skilled in software development, and Vermouth offered Itakura up. Although, the reasoning for their initial disagreement has not been explained yet. Given Yukiko's close relationship with Vermouth, I think she would be able to confirm with Conan if she ever had any dislike or allergy with cats in particular.

However, with this new piece of information from Eri, we know that this was likely not a cat at all, but rather the cry of a baby! Now, what would a baby be doing here in a situation like this?

If you recall the case of Azusa and Conan being kidnapped, you may remember the old woman and baby that briefly appeared. The baby in her stroller not only didn't have any distinct features shown, but was completely blacked out, similar to how a character that isn't ready to be revealed yet is drawn.

Eri's cat was also mentioned to the old woman, who said she has a cat allergy. The woman was shown to be hanging around Poirot in both scenes she appeared briefly in. Perhaps this is Vermouth in disguise, keeping an eye on Amuro and the Mouri Detective Agency.

With the main plot of physical age regression, it's easy to assume that this may very well be the Boss himself, shrunken down to the size of a baby. This transformation would also make it incredibly hard for someone to find the Boss if they are looking for him in his original form.

While movies are usually not canon, Movie 26 had a surprising moment around the 1 hour 15 min mark, revealing previously unknown info that Rum, the Boss' second in command, had in fact not seen him in a while and wants to search for him. Is the Boss currently hiding with Vermouth or a caretaker, unable to show his face because he is in the body of a baby? Is the software shown in the movie similar to what Itakura was developing?

Not only that, but Conan also recalled another early case from chapter 191, in which Haibara mentioned punishment upon going against the "stream of time." This phrasing was used by Vermouth, as mentioned in Itakura's diary.

It is also used by Masumi Sera when referring to Haibara's temporary APTX-4869 antidote.

Did the Boss find himself close to death, impatiently taking an unfinished version of APTX-4869 and becoming a baby?

Is the punishment a dreadfully lonely life, seeing everyone pass by as you continue to remain in the same young form? It is confirmed that those who survive APTX-4869 not only de-age, but remain in that state indefinitely. 20 years after de-aging, Vermouth has not changed. Conan and Ai have not grown even slightly taller, either. This could explain Vermouth's hatred for the Miyano's, who created a drug that put her into this state of physical purgatory.

If the boss did indeed shrink into a baby, he won't be able to just grow out of it, he will have to find a cure or be stuck in this form forever.

I recommend reading MeiTanteixX's post below if you want to know more about the Org's drug developments and timeline.

I hope that at least some of this is touched upon in the upcoming chapter. It is very exciting to see some movement on this plot line that was introduced over 20 years ago!

#detective conan #detective conan spoilers #random thoughts #conan edogawa #black organization #karasuma renya #ai haibara #vermouth #kudo yukiko #agasa hiroshi #itakura suguru #recap #summary #dcmk #masumi sera #okiya subaru #kisaki eri #jodie starling

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prodagustd · 8 months ago

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surprise | myg

this is an extra chapter of the so it goes series.

—pairing: rapper!yoongi x reader

—rating: +18

—genre: established relationship, ex fwb, angst, fluff

—warnings/tags: implied smut, lots of angst, fluff, subtle talk about aborti0n, DON’T trust my poor knowledge in contraceptive methods and use condoms!! english is not my first language btw

—words: 7.6k

a/note: this is proof that if you ask me enough, I'll finish writing my wips!! it's been a long time but I finally get to post the surprise drabble I've been planning and it makes me sososo happy to come back to this couple 😭 I missed them so much I just hope you missed them as much as I did!! BTW I was planning to post this after two other drabbles, so if you read any additional information it's because this was intended to be posted after that, but i wanted to post this so badly😭 so here it is!! hehe anyway enjoy!!

A few years ago, when you and Yoongi were beginning to be a thing and you still lived with your best friend, Nayeon, while he lived alone in his big apartment, he picked up this habit of begging you to stay the night with him every time you visited, even though he knew you couldn’t. You used to say no, trying hard to ignore the way he kissed your neck and sneaked his hands under your blouse while explaining that, if you said yes, he was willing to wake up early and drive you to your first class the next day. You'd think that after the first or maybe even the second time he tried this, the effect would wear off, but you ended up agreeing every single time.

Back then everything was so new to him, he couldn’t remember the last time he liked someone that much, he didn’t know what was happening to him and why he wanted to spend every night with you, why he couldn’t keep his hands off you. Sure you were pretty, sure you were beautiful and funny, and your lips tasted like strawberries and you looked at him like one else ever did, maybe it had something to do with that, who knew? The only thing he knew was that he felt like a teenager everytime you kissed him, or every time you ran your fingers through his hair or every time you were naked under him, or on top of him, or anywhere close to him for that matter.

It took Yoongi a few hits, ten drunk nights and way too many days to realize that you were the only thing that he needed, that the world only made sense if you were by his side.

With time, Yoongi learned to kiss slowly, to make love slowly, to take things with ease; he learned that you were going nowhere, but there were still those moments where he felt he couldn’t get enough of you; like tonight, to be exact.

You were sure that in the last four years of dating Yoongi you had made it clear enough that you were a city girl, and you were certain your boyfriend knew that. You loved the noise and the chaos—the people bumping into each other on the streets, the busy days and nights. It wasn’t something you planned to give up anytime soon; this was the perfect time in your life to embrace the city's hustle. You’d have plenty of time for a quiet life when you got older.

Yoongi liked the city too—he enjoyed the view from his apartment window and the convenience of ordering food at any hour of the night. But he also loved road trips and sleeping in the middle of nowhere in a tent, bonfires, fishing and swimming in lakes. Yoongi had always been into camping, but instead of planning a trip with his good old friend Seokjin, who didn’t mind sleeping in a tent and loved fishing, he invited you—someone who hated bugs and couldn’t stand the idea of walking more than three minutes to find a bathroom.

You were still trying to decide whether not being able to say no to Yoongi was a problem, but it was his last free week before going back on tour. When he looked at you with starry eyes and asked you to go on a trip with him, which included spending the last two days sleeping in a tent, you couldn’t say no.

It was only two days, you were sure you could endure not sleeping in a proper bed for that long if that made him happy, you made the effort of not complaining just for tonight, after all you only had tickets to go visit him on tour in exactly five weeks, you were going to miss him.

It was easy not to complain when Yoongi’s plans for your last night together were exclusively romantic; he cooked for you, built a campfire and spent the rest of the night stargazing until it was too cold to be outside, and when you were inside the tent he made sure to have hot water bags under the blankets, but they were no use when he was determined to get you naked.

Did you mention that it was still winter?

Now you were trapped in a tent with him, straddling him as he kissed you deeply and gripped your thighs, begging you to ride him against your lips. That was when you started to complain.

You felt your whole body shivering when Yoongi’s warm hands pulled your t-shirt over your head, leaving you almost naked. You hugged your torso, attempting to cover your breasts as you sat straight on top of your boyfriend, who was comfortably laying on the sleeping bag, fully clothed.

“Yoongi, I’m cold.” You whined.

“C’mon, it’s going to wear off” He tried to convince you, rubbing his palms over your shoulders to keep you warm. You shook your head, laying your head on his still clothed chest as he covered your bare back with the blanket. It was easy for him to say that when he was wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt.

You knew that Yoongi was already missing you. He was fully aware that after tonight, he wouldn’t see you for a whole month and he wanted to make it last as long as he could, to hold you and kiss you as much as you let him. He had gotten too used to you—used to sleeping and waking up next to you, having you all to himself—but it became a problem every time he had to leave for work, it was impossible not to miss you. You still had texts, calls and FaceTime, but he was also taking into account time difference, work, and the fact that all of that wasn’t the real thing. And if you were honest, you were already missing him too.

“What if I catch a cold?” You mumbled over his shirt.

Yoongi kissed the top of your head, running his hands down your bare back and sending chills to your spine. How was he able to get you almost naked but you didn’t even get the chance to take off his t-shirt? “It’s not that cold.” He said, not willing to give up.

You raised your head to look at him, frowning “Says the person who’s still fully clothed.”

He huffed, flipping you over to leave you under him. Suddenly, warmth rushed over you as you felt his body hovering over your frame. He was quick to take off his own t-shirt, trying to make you happy, but he quickly realized that maybe you were right, it was fucking cold, but he wasn’t going to back down.

“Happy now?”

“No, it’s freezing out there!” You kept complaining “Why do we have to do it without clothes? I don’t mind clothes, I actually think that doing it while being dressed is quite hot.”

You threw your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you. Even though you were in fact turned on from the kissing and grinding session you had a few moments ago, you still were thinking about the logistics of fucking inside the tent.

Yoongi scoffed, amused. “And I actually think that you being naked is quite hot, too.” He said, sneaking his face in the crook of your neck to trail down little kisses, nibbling the skin softly. “C’mon, baby. I won’t see you for weeks, let me make love to you.”

You tried not to roll your eyes. “You had been using that excuse the whole trip.” And you’ve fallen for it every time. His plans for this trip were very simple: fishing, camping and fucking you on every opportunity he had. It was not like you were against it, it has been a long time since you and him had time only for the two of you.

“But isn’t it true?” He gazed up, looking at you with his soft eyes, his hair falling like a curtain on his face. “I’m gonna miss you.”

You took a second to observe the tenderness of his features, to take in the softness of his voice, and for a moment there you knew why it was so hard to say no to him, you just didn’t want to say no.

You closed your eyes, scrunching your nose. “We are gonna make such a mess.” You whined, but he just chuckled, knowing he won.

“I’ll take care of it, I promise.” He said with a soft voice, reaching for your lips as he roamed his hands towards your chest. You didn’t exactly know how he was going to “take care of it”, but his hands were gentle, the kiss was slow and when he opened his mouth to let his tongue slip past your lips, you were too into it to keep protesting about it.

As you sat on the cold bathroom floor of the home you shared with Yoongi, you tried to remind yourself of two basic things that you hoped would stop the sinking feeling in your chest. First, three weeks without Yoongi never killed anyone, this was something you knew from experience, Yoongi’s job demanded him to travel all the time, you were used to it, or at least you were supposed to be. Second, you were an independent woman (right?). You have been an independent woman since you were eighteen when you moved to Seoul alone, since you started a new life in a new city on your own. You woke up at six am everyday, worked hard your whole shift, paid the bills every month and managed to keep your house in order every day of the week. Sure, you loved Yoongi, and he loved you, and you could never imagine a life without him, but you didn’t need him, you wanted him. He wasn’t an extension of you, you were your own person, but why did you feel like the world was about to end right now if he was not there?

Crying your heart out like a five year old kid, you remembered the only time you had to take a pregnancy test, and how it looked nothing like this.

Four years ago when you and Yoongi still didn’t kiss in front of your friends, when he still thought twice before holding your hand in public but still had the nerve of sneaking in your bed. That seemed like a hundred years ago, a universe away, but no, it was not too long ago when you were stubborn and kind of irresponsible for agreeing with him as he kissed your neck and ran his hands down your thighs while asking you if it was okay for him to “pull out” that night, since both of you completely forgot about condoms. You winced at the memory, but in your defense, you were too far gone to say no, take a cold shower and kiss him goodnight. You agreed only for that night, but three weeks later you were three days late and losing your mind, the only logical thing to do was to take a pregnancy test that, of course, came negative, but to this day you couldn’t shake the anxious feeling that you felt in your stomach those minutes before the negative sign appeared, and you couldn’t forget how pale Yoongi’s face turned when you told him about it.

And now you were there, one hand covering your face while the other held a pregnancy test—only this time, it was positive.

The one on your hand wasn’t the only one, no. There were two other positive tests laying on the floor in front of you, and even if you wanted to not trust the results, they couldn’t be all wrong, right? The plus sign was very clear in each one of them and you were five days late. The problem was that you were on the pill, you had been on the pill for the last couple years and this never happened to you, this wasn’t something normal or a simple mistake.

You breathed out, trying not to panic. You got up on your bare feet to look at yourself in the mirror. You were a mess, that was not a surprise at all, your face was all swollen for the amount of time you have been crying and your hair was a big nest above your head. You washed your face, attempting to remain calm and evaluating your options. You glanced at your phone resting on the sink, and an overwhelming urge to call your mother surged within you, but as you imagined how the conversation would go, you quickly realized it wouldn’t be a good idea.

Your mother was not nosy, but she could be a little dense, a bit complicated, and it was not what you needed right now. You were sure that calling her while having a mental breakdown was going to drive her crazy, and consequently, drive you crazy too. She would want to know every single detail, date, place and hour to understand the situation better, and you would have to explain something you didn’t even understand yet. You could imagine the conversation, she would try to explain every contraceptive method like you were a teenager and ask why you didn’t use a condom, because you knew she would ask, and you didn’t want to explain to her how you went on vacation with your boyfriend to have a bunch of condomless sex, the thought alone made you want to vomit.

Calling your mother was not an option, not only because talking to her on the phone was complicated enough, but because she was in a different city, which brought you to discard calling Nayeon too, who was on vacation with her boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, that sounded ridiculous to you, too.)

The last option was something you couldn't even fathom doing unless you were desperate, but you know what they say, desperate times call desperate measures, so you blew your nose, brushed your hair and called the only person in this city who would come running without asking any questions, Jungkook.

Breaking the news to the person in front of you wasn’t easy, especially when the words you needed to say were as unreal as they sounded. You didn’t look much better, you spent the next thirty minutes that Jungkook took to arrive crying, as Holly, the brown fluffy dog, looked at you like you just went mad, the worst thing was that you weren’t far from it. It was difficult to keep it together when your mind refused to look at the bright side of things, when you couldn’t call your mom and Yoongi was in another country, but when Jungkook rang your bell and entered through the door, you tried your best to smile at him and act like you weren’t in the middle of a mental breakdown.

Your act wasn’t convincing, your friend looked at you like you were about to tell him that you killed someone and you needed help to hide the body.

You would have never recur to a man other than Yoongi for this kind of situation, but you decided to trust your ten years of friendship with the man in front of you and hope that he could be of any help.

“You are what?” Said Jungkook, standing in the middle of the living room with his eyes wide open, trying to understand the meaning of your words.

There, in your pajamas and your hands on your hips, you closed your eyes shut, sighing. “Jungkook…” You said through gritted teeth.

“I’m serious.” He said, letting his backpack drop to the floor. “I crossed half the city to get here, are you not kidding me right now?”

“I’m serious, too!” You whined “I’m not kidding, I don’t know what to do.”

He slowly approached you, walking towards the couch to take a seat. He suddenly felt his blood pressure dropping, his stomach sinking and his mouth dry as if he was the one developing a human organism inside his body. “Are you sure?” He murmured. “Are you not having one of those crises you had when you were a teenager? I remember that time in college when you freaked out when you thought you were pregnant because some guy-”

“Jungkook, I’m sure.” You interrupted him, already knowing the whole story, but this time it was not just you overreacting. “My period is late and I took three tests, all positive.”

He gulped, letting the room fall silent for a few seconds as both of you contemplated what that meant. You knew he was trying his best not to freak out, so you were grateful for his reaction, at least he didn’t faint like you expected him to do, but he was still white as a sheet, trying to find a solution in his head as though you had told him he was the one who was going to be a father.

“What are we gonna do?” He said under his breath.

“What am I gonna do?” You corrected him, sitting next to him “You are supposed to help me.”

Jungkook took one hard look at you, looking terrified. “How?”

“God, I shouldn’t have called you.” You rolled your eyes.

“No, I mean, what do you want to do?” He said. “Did you tell Yoongi?”

“Of course not.” You replied, feeling your eyes getting teary, but still trying to hold back.

“Do you want to… tell him?” He continued to ask.

You sniffed “I mean, I don’t know how.” You pouted “I’m seeing him in two weeks, I don’t know if I can wait that long.”

He threw himself back against the couch, sinking in the cushions. It was like Jungkook’s life flashed before his eyes, how come he was discussing this with you right now? He still felt like you were kids, there was no way you were pregnant right now. “How did this happen?” He murmured to himself, looking at the blank wall in front of him.

“Is it necessary for me to explain it?” You cried, snuggling closer to him as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Did you not use condoms?” He scolded you like he was your mother.

You shifted your weight uneasily, eyes darting down to your socks. “We don’t… use condoms.” You cleared your throat, the words coming out hushed and hesitant. “I’m on the pill, I don’t know what happened.”

On second thought, that wasn’t something Jungkook wanted to know. It was like finding out how his parents had sex, he squirmed at the thought, shifting in his place. “Can you not call your doctor?” He suggested, his voice laced with uncertainty.

You paused, considering it. It was probably the most logical thing Jungkook could say, but you weren’t sure if your doctor could do anything about it.

“Even if I call her and tell her what's going on, it’s not like I can get a refund.” You huffed, a dry smile tugging at your lips.

He raised an eyebrow. “Well…” he began, dragging the word out. “In some way, you could get a refund.” You blinked at him, opening your eyes wide in surprise. “I mean only if you want to!”

You were so nervous you wanted to laugh. It wasn’t like the thought didn’t cross your mind for a moment, but only when you tried to evaluate your options; if you were being honest, you couldn’t see yourself getting rid of the baby—or whatever organism had been living rent-free in your body for the past three weeks. Jungkook looked terrified that you might explode at him, especially when it seemed like you were on the verge of tears, but his question made you think, if you didn’t want to get rid of it, what was that you wanted to do?

You sank your shoulders, feeling completely lost. “That’s the problem.” You murmured “I don’t know if I want a refund.”

Jungkook stood still for a moment, his eyes softening as he watched you. His thoughts swirled, trying to grasp the weight of your words.

"Would Yoongi want a refund?" He asked, his tone lighter than before, but the sincerity in his voice was unmistakable. Despite the attempt at humor, his eyes betrayed the concern he was masking with the joke.

A shaky exhale left your lips, the weight of uncertainty pulling you down. “I don’t know…” Was the only thing you could say.

“But do you know if Yoongi wanted… kids?” He said as if that was a forbidden word. “I mean, do you want them?”

It wasn’t like you didn’t know what Yoongi wanted. You sighed, suddenly remembering all those times when the idea of a family came up in conversations, between drunken thoughts, before falling asleep, at dinner with his parents and on the ride home when he apologized on his mother’s behalf when she asked when you were going to give her grandchildren. His soft eyes, his hand on your tight and the view of the future laying in front of you like a promise. The thought warmed your heart for a moment, but the truth was that there was a difference between talking about it and actually having kids.

“We’ve talked about it…” You admitted. “But we’ve never planned it, let alone now that he’s on tour.”

Jungkook hummed, still thinking.

“But you both agreed to have kids at some point.” He affirmed, and you just nodded.

It was in that moment where you realized you were crying again, tears slowly falling down your cheeks as you stood in silence, contemplating the overwhelming weight of the situation.

“Fuck, don’t cry.” Jungkook said, rushing to wrap his arms around you, he enveloped you in a tight hug. As soon as you buried your face into his chest, something inside you gave away. You began sobbing against his hoodie, the tears flowed freely and uncontrollable, unable to hold yourself back. “C’mon, it’s okay, you’re okay. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” His voice was soft but firm, holding you tightly. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his thumb gently wiping away a tear from your cheek, his gaze filled with nothing but concern. “You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Let’s go step by step, okay?”

You nodded, feeling like a kid lost in the mall. “Okay, if you want to see him as soon as possible, you have to change your flight first.” He said, but you shook your head, trying not to panic.

“He’s going to ask why.” You said, your voice hoarse “What am I going to tell him?”

He kept silent, his eyes fixed on a distant point as he was trying to come up with a solution.

“Let’s not tell him.” He proposed.

“What do you mean let’s not tell him?”

“I’m leaving for tour next weekend, you should come with me and not tell him.” He kept going “Say that you missed him and you wanted to surprise him or some shit like that, and when you get him alone you talk to him about this.”

Now you were reminded that Jungkook had to leave to join Yoongi on tour in just a few days, you completely forgot about that. It was not like you couldn’t get on an airplane alone, but if your friend was going to be there you were sure it would make things easier.

You couldn’t believe it. After so many years you were there, sad and upset and still with the same idiot as a friend, willing to follow whatever plan he was going to make for you. You didn’t know if the plan actually sounded good or you were losing your mind for listening to Jungkook.

“Jungkook, Yoongi texts me all the time, he facetimes me everyday. It’s impossible to travel to another country without him noticing.”

“It’s not impossible, I’m gonna help you.” He insisted “If he texts you, you say you’re at home, if he wants to facetime you, you say you’re busy, turn off your location, it shouldn't be difficult.”

“It is difficult, what if he realizes I turned off my location?” You groaned, running your finger through your hair exasperatedly.

“You say it stopped working or something! C’mon, I thought you were smarter than me.”

You threw yourself back against the couch, crossing your arms on your chest, it was almost comical that you were considering the idea. Your friend could sense the hesitation in every move you made, he could only hope that you agreed because his mind couldn’t come up with another idea if his life depended on it.

“Jungkook, if he suspects anything…” You raised a finger, digging it on his chest.

“He won’t suspect a thing,” He affirmed confidently. “When have any of my plans ever gone wrong? Never. Trust me, by the time you get back home, you’ll have already decided to name your baby after me.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your laugh and punching him in the arm playfully. The tension was still there, and you still felt an inexplicable ache in your chest that wasn’t going away anytime soon, but being there with Jungkook made you feel that this wasn’t the end of the world, nor of your life, but the beginning of it.

Jungkook's plan wasn’t the master plan he had been bragging about the whole airplane ride, but it worked. A few days later, after a few calls and arrangements to change your flight, after another three mental breakdowns and several crying sessions in the shower, you had somehow arrived in Berlin without Yoongi suspecting a thing. You had managed to dodge facetime calls and weird questions, maybe Yoongi missed you so much that he didn’t have time to question why you couldn’t wait two more weeks to see him when you arrived at the hotel and hugged in the hall, because, if he were honest, he couldn’t wait two more weeks to see you either.

Yoongi was happy with the surprise, you went to see his show that night and after arriving to his hotel room he made love to you like he hadn’t seen you in a year, kissing your neck, grabbing your waist, murmuring things in your ear, saying how much he loved you, how much he missed you. For a moment it was like nothing changed, the two of you sharing what happened these last three weeks tangled between sheets, laughing between kisses as you ignored why you were there in the first place.

“You can’t keep spending time away from me.” He said, hovering over you as he left a small kiss on your lips. “I’ll keep you in my pocket if it’s necessary.”

You sighed, knowing that you couldn’t keep this a secret for much longer, but for tonight, you’ll let it slide.

You didn’t know when you were returning home, but you promised yourself that before leaving for the next city, you would have to break the news to Yoongi, which was becoming more difficult by the second, because if you were good at something, that was procrastinating. It was absurd, a few days ago you were crying because all you wanted to do was to have your boyfriend by your side and now you couldn’t even look him in the eye without feeling like you were about to throw up, and your mind wasn’t helping at all. All those doubts invaded your head, attempting to drive you crazy, making you believe you were not ready to tell him yet.

Three days later, when you finished the last show in Berlin, Jungkook gave you a knowing look as you were leaving the arena holding Yoongi’s hand. He knew that you haven’t said a thing to Yoongi yet, he was all over you like he was your mother, asking you if you were okay, if you needed anything, when you were going to tell Yoongi, it almost made you regret telling him, but you knew he was right.

A night was all you needed, just one night to gather your thoughts and practice what you were going to say. You couldn’t keep declining glasses of wine forever, you could only hope no one noticed how weird you were acting, how sensitive you were since you stepped foot out the plane. Time was running out; you knew that when Yoongi invited you to an after-party before the whole crew left Berlin. Instead of telling him the truth, you simply said you weren’t in the mood to go, hoping that your time alone would help to gather enough courage to confess.

You weren’t trying to keep Yoongi with you, you told him a million times that he should go without you and that there was no problem with it. You hid under the blanket and hugged your body, watching him change his shirt into a black tee. He ran his finger through his hair in an attempt to tame it, looking at himself into the mirror and stealing a glance towards your reflection. He knew you too well not to notice the sad expression on your face as you scrolled through your phone, searching for a Disney movie to watch while he was out. He turned around, approaching the bed and kneeling beside you to catch your eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” He asked once again.

“Yeah, I just need one night.” You said, which was true. You needed a few more moments to finish fighting with your own thoughts.

“But are you okay?” He continued to ask, cupping your jaw in his palm.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” The words came out of your mouth with more emotion than you intended to, he couldn’t ignore it.

“I don’t know… You look like you want me to stay.”

There was a beat of silence in the room. The sweetness of his voice broke your heart into a million pieces. You couldn’t say yes and make him stay just because you were feeling down and you really had no problem with him leaving, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him no either. You were full of contradictions, wanting to be alone but wanting to be with him at the same time, something in your chest pulled, wanting him close.

“What makes you think that?” You murmured, fighting the urge to cry. God, you were too sensitive.

“Mmm… The Disney movie kinda gives you away.”

You huffled, playing with the fingers of his hands without looking at him. “I don’t want to ruin your fun… You should go, I mean it.”

He scoffed “You won’t, there’s going to be a bunch of parties until the tour ends, this one is nothing.”

“They’ll miss you…”

“You’ll miss me, too.”

“But do you want to stay, though?” You asked him a whisper.

“Of course I want to… But you have to let me choose the movie.” He warned, automatically making you giggle.

Letting Yoongi choose the movie was the worst decision you have made in the last week so far, but you felt grateful he couldn’t see you as he hugged your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder, because as the ending of Inside Out approached, you were sure you were about to cry.

When you arrived at the airport you promised yourself not to cry anymore, not in front of Yoongi at least, but your body was full of emotions you didn’t even know you could feel. It was certain that you’ve always been a sensitive person, you cried at the drop of a hat, Yoongi was familiar with that, but now it was impossible to stop it.

You’d stopped paying attention to the screen entirely; one by one, your darkest thoughts crept in, pressing heavily on your chest. The feelings you’d tried so hard to bury rose up, churning uneasily in your stomach, and when you least expected it, tears began to fall down your cheeks.

A sob escaped from your lips at the same time the main character began to cry, making your boyfriend shift in his place.

“Are you crying?” Yoongi suddenly asked, softly grabbing your shoulder to turn you around. He looked at your face, at first amused, thinking you were crying because of the movie. But his expression softened when he saw the sadness in your eyes and the damp lashes heavy with tears. You covered your face, unable to hold back, and the sobs came harder, each one swallowing the words you couldn’t say. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He reached for your arms, attempting to pull them away from your face, but you turned away, burying your face in the pillow.

“Nothing,” You lied, desperate to avoid this conversation again. “I’m just… emotional, I don’t know.” Your voice cracked, hoarse, as the emotions you were trying to hide slipped through.

Yoongi was confused, but mostly worried. You had been weird since the day you arrived, he would be a fool not to notice.

He turned the light of the lamp on the nightstand, illuminating the room with a soft orange light and turned the tv off.

“Hey, look at me.” He softly said, brushing your hair with his fingers, it only made you want to cry harder. “I know something’s up, I’m not a dummy.”

You turned to him, hitting him with the most heartbreaking sight he could witness, your face soaked in tears, nose and eyes red as you pouted at him. What was so wrong to make you cry like that?

“What do you know?” Was the only thing you could say, daring to be upset at him when he hadn't done anything wrong.

He frowned at your tone. “Well, I know that you suddenly came here two weeks earlier just because. You are weird, you almost don’t eat, your suitcase is almost untouched like you’re going to leave anytime soon, you look… sad? I don’t know, baby, you tell me.”

You kept silent for a second, wiping the tears with the sleeve of your t-shirt. Uncomfortable, you sat in the bed, taking a deep breath as your mind completely blanked. You didn’t realize yet, but there was no way to get out of this one.

Contrary to popular belief, your boyfriend was kind of a dummy. You confirmed it when he decided to say the following words.

“Is it because of Lily?” He said, making you dart your eyes at him. “You don’t like her being here?

You couldn’t blame Yoongi for not understanding why you were crying, but the suggestion that you were jealous of one of his coworkers made you want to punch him. Lily was one of the new producers at Yoongi’s label, and a few months ago, Yoongi had noticed that you were starting to feel uneasy about the amount of time she was spending with him, which led him to realize that you were beginning to feel unexpectedly jealous of her. Yes, that was a whole deal back then, but it was water under the bridge now; the fact that she was touring with him and the boys didn’t faze you. The idea that he thought you were crying because of her was ridiculous.

“Yoongi, are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m not.” He defended himself. “The last time I saw you we were fine, but now you’re here crying and I don’t have a clue what I did wrong.”

Suddenly, you felt your heart sink. He hadn’t done anything wrong; it was you who was an emotional wreck, struggling to keep your feelings in check. A wave of guilt washed over you for the mess you’d just created, convinced there must have been ways to prevent all this conflict. But now, all you could do was sit there, tangled in the aftermath of your own emotions.

You sighed, defeated. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” You said “And it’s not about Lily, I couldn’t care less about that… It’s just that- … Yoongi…”

“Baby…” He said in the same tone as you, “What is it?”

As Yoongi’s gentle question hung in the air, you felt a knot tighten in your chest. The truth sat heavy on your tongue, you glanced away, fidgeting with the edge of your sleeve, buying time as your thoughts spiraled. “Yoongi, my period is late.” You confessed, observing Yoongi’s eyes go wide, his brows lifting in surprise as he tried to understand what he just heard. “It’s been a week now, I don’t know what happened. I tried to wait, but I had to take a test”

“A test?” he asked, voice low, surprise flickering in his eyes.

“A pregnancy test, Yoongi.” You said, trying not to roll your eyes. “I took three damn tests.”

“And what-... what happened?” He asked, his voice unsteady, eyes fixed on yours.

The room felt suddenly smaller, the air thick with unspoken fears and questions. A quiet stillness settled between you both, there was a weight to the silence, stretching out the seconds as you waited for whatever words would come next.

“I mean, guess what happened,” you whispered. Before you could finish the sentence, you got up and reached for the zipper on your suitcase pocket. Your hand closed around the large object, and you felt his eyes on the back of your neck, following you as you moved around the hotel room. Returning to the bed, you sat down and handed him the pregnancy test.

Yoongi didn’t know anything about pregnancy tests—he’d never needed to. He’d always been careful, using protection with every girl he’d been with, including you, until things had started to get serious. So no, he wasn’t familiar with the variety of pregnancy tests out there. But now, here he was, staring at a white stick with a tiny screen, showing a clear positive sign, which could only mean one thing.

Yoongi’s hands trembled slightly as he held the pregnancy test, his gaze locked onto the tiny screen, staring at it for a moment, speechless. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, loud enough that he thought you might hear it. Now everything made sense, how you said you were nauseous in the morning, each time you refused to drink wine, how you looked like you were about to cry when you saw a stroller with twins this afternoon at the park. How could he not notice?

You pressed your lips together, feeling the familiar sting of tears welling up once more. A small, shaky hiccup escaped your lips, breaking the silence and snapping him out of his daze. “No, no, no,” He murmured urgently, setting the test aside and pulling you close, lifting you effortlessly onto his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist as you buried your face in your hands, trying to hold back the tears. “Hey, there’s no reason to cry,” He whispered, gently guiding your face up, his fingers lifting your chin as he coaxed your hands away. “C’mon, look at me.” His voice was soft, reassuring, his gaze full of warmth and understanding.

“I don’t know how it happened.” You blurted out, your voice shaking with uncertainty.

“That doesn’t matter now, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, you could tell he was trying to remain calm by the soft tone of his voice, but his face had gone as white as paper, like he’d just seen a ghost.

“I arranged the flight to see you as soon as possible, but... I was scared. I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t,” you admitted, your words barely a whisper.

“Baby, you don’t have to be scared, okay? You can tell me anything.” He assured you, his hand gently squeezing yours. But the uneasy feeling in your stomach refused to go away.

“I know, but… we haven’t planned for this,” you murmured, glancing down. “It just… came out of nowhere.”

“Well, it didn’t exactly come out of nowhere. These things can happen,” he said gently, a faint smile tugging at his lips. You groaned, burying your face in his chest.

“But it wasn’t supposed to happen,” you whined, your voice muffled against him. “I didn’t expect this at all. I was drowning in work when I found out. I’m stressed, I’m lost, I don’t know what to do… and I miss my mom.” The words tumbled out in a frantic ramble, and you were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice the soft laugh he let slip.

“You miss your mom?” he asked softly, careful not to upset you further.

“Yes!” you cried, voice cracking. “I feel like a kid lost in the supermarket.”

He shook his head gently and brushed away your tears with his thumbs, pulling you closer. “Baby…” he began, his tone soothing.

“Yoongi…” you whispered, lifting your head to meet his gaze. His expression was still worried, but the warmth in his eyes was reassuring.

“You’re right, we didn’t plan this. But we’ve talked about it before, and you have options. Whatever you choose, I’ll be right here beside you, no matter what. You know that, don’t you?” He searched your eyes for confirmation, and you nodded, feeling the ache in your chest begin to ease.

As his words sank in, a new wave of emotions stirred inside you. The weight of worry and loneliness began to ease, replaced by a warmth that softened the ache in your chest.

“But… what do you think?” you asked softly. You knew that whatever you decided would ultimately be your choice only, but you needed to know what was going on in his mind.

He sighed, a hint of hesitation in his expression. “I mean… we’re not sixteen, baby. We’re adults, we’re about to buy a house together, and we love each other.”

“Well, those are just facts,” you replied, searching his face. “What I mean is… do you want this, now?”

It was hard for Yoongi to believe you were really asking this. There you were, sitting on his lap with swollen eyes and a red nose from crying, asking him if he wanted to start a family with you—as if that hadn’t been his dream all along. Of course he felt like the life he had been living was going to completely change from now on. It was terrifying, but he couldn’t help but feel excited at the same time.

“I've always wanted it, are you serious?” He laughed, the sound light but filled with disbelief. “And I only want it with you, haven’t I made it clear enough?”

Those were the main differences between the two of you: while he was calm, always taking a moment to think before acting, you were emotional and, more often than not, let your feelings take control of your actions. It was only in that moment that you realized how irrational you’d been. There wasn’t a world where Yoongi didn’t want this, and there certainly wasn’t a world where you didn’t want it either.

“I want it, too,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you fought back tears.

“Then why are you crying, huh?” he asked gently, squeezing your face in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Because...” you said, struggling to catch your breath. “Maybe you didn’t think it was the right time... You’re on tour right now.”

He frowned, his expression softening with concern. “I won’t be on tour forever...”

“I know, but... we’re not married. What would your parents think?”

He let out a laugh, clearly unable to believe that was a real concern of yours. “You’re not seriously thinking about my parents right now, are you?”

“How could I not?” you said, raising your eyebrows. “What if they force us to marry? God, I don’t want to be one of those couples who only marry because the girl is suddenly pregnant!”

He laughed even harder, shaking his head. “Oh my god, baby, no one’s forcing us to do anything!” He grinned, clearly finding your worry amusing. “If we ever get married, it won’t be because anyone pressured me. Trust me.” He paused, happy to see that the worried expression abandoned your face. “Besides, my parents love you, you have no idea how happy they’ll be once they know. Married or not.”

“Yoongi, it can’t be that simple.”

“But it is.”

You sighed, feeling like all the mess you’d made was for nothing—and thank God it was. You’d been so caught up in your own despair that you hadn’t realized everything in your life was falling into place for this to happen. Yoongi was right. You were about to move into a bigger home, you had your job, Yoongi had his, and you loved each other. You've always wanted it, this was the perfect moment for this to happen. Why had you been so worried?

“You’re right, it is.” You finally admitted, letting your body rest against him.

Yoongi laughed, gently grabbing you by your hips and laying you on the bed, kissing you softly. “You don’t have to worry, baby, not with me.”

“I know.” You breathed out, feeling like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. “But I am-… I’m so scared. How am I gonna have a baby? It sounds crazy.”

“Of course it does, it is.” He said “I’m terrified, too, but we’re together, right? Nothing bad can happen if we have each other.”

You nodded, feeling your chest unclench. “I guess you're right,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “I just... needed to hear you say it.”

Yoongi smiled, leaning down to steal another kiss from you, this time deeper, longer. “I love you, baby, don’t you know that?”

You brushed your nose against his, nodding. “I love you, too, bubba.”

“C’mon, baby, stop crying.” He said, making you laugh.

#fic: so it goes #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi fanfic #bts x reader #bts smut #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi x oc #yoongi fic recs #yoongi imagine #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #yoongi fic #bts masterpost #bts fic rec #yoongi bts #bts one shot

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simonrileysfavteacup · 3 months ago

Text

My Knight In Shining Armour Chapter 2

Pairing: Knight!ghost x Princess!reader

Word Count: 1.1K

Warnings: None! (yet...)

Summary: You never thought you needed a bodyguard. Especially not one of your father’s men. But it just so happens to be that this particular man is one who’s a sight for sore eyes. But you also could never fall for your Knight, right? Not a commoner, no…

Author's Note: TOOK A MINUTE BUT ITS HERE!

The first place you led him was the library. A room so large, filled with every single book you could ever think of.

You glance around the room, looking for the book you wanted. You spot it on a shelf up above, heading to the ladder to climb up. The second your foot even landed on the first step, you heard someone behind you clear their throat.

You look over your shoulder, “Yes?”

“Your highness,” he steps forward, gently pushing you back, climbing up and grabbing the book you wanted.

He comes back down and hands it to you before returning to the door, guarding it.

You shrug, sitting down in one of the comfiest chairs in the room, beginning to read.

Well, pretending to read.

You’re actually looking at him over the top of your book, examining him. He’s quiet. Shy. Introvert. Bashful. He stays to himself. He’s not as invading as you thought he would be.

You wonder.

Until he clears his throat again, “Your highness?”

“Yes?” you raise an eyebrow.

“The book is upside down,” you can almost hear him chuckling under his balaclava.

Your cheeks flush red, as you turn the book over, covering your face with it. “That’s just how I like to read! Don’t judge me! I’ll fire you.”

“I don’t believe that decision is up to you,” he shrugs, staying at the door, not glancing at you.

Nevermind. He’s infuriating. Why is he giving you attitude? You’re just curious!

“Why do you wear a balaclava but not your helmet?”

“Personal choice. The King approves.”

“But why?”

“I don’t believe it’s your business, your highness.”

That attitude again! Why is he ‘not believing’ things? That’s your job to tell him what to believe and what not to. Ugh, this is not going to be fun.

You narrow your eyes at him before going back to your book. “No name either?”

“For your information, my name is Ghost. You can address me as such.”

“But why no real name? Your parents obviously didn’t name you Ghost.”

He stiffens at the mention of parents.

“Sorry…” you curl in on yourself. Now the conversations awkward.

“When I became a knight, I couldn’t let anyone know who I really was. I have a history.”

“That prevents you from becoming a knight?”

“No. It puts a target on my back and on your back. And on everyone in the kingdom.”

“Oh…it’s that bad…”

You look up from your book at it. He’s staring straight ahead, not at you.

“I’m…I’m sorry I asked…”

“It’s alright, your highness. You may read,” he nods, his voice gruff.

As if you were asking for his permission.

***

You arrive at the dining room, curtsying to your father, who sits at the head of the table. You take your seat, and notice Ghost stands directly behind your chair. Your mother sits across from you, her head bowed low.

Supper is served, in silence, you dine.

Your father clears his throat, “How has the day been?”

“Fine,” you shrug.

“And Ghost?”

“He is a wonderful knight,” who already reminds you of your father.

“He is excellent,” your father smiles at him, to which you don’t turn around to see his reaction.

“Father, I wish to visit the market tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“I need a new dress.”

“The modiste can come straight to your bedroom.”

“Yes, but she always does. For once, I’d like to visit her instead.”

“It is unsafe.”

“I will have Sir Ghost with me.”

“The market is not a place for a princess.”

“I just wish to shop.”

“What do you desire? A dress? Your mother shall have the modiste here tomorrow.”

“But father, I do not want her here. I want to visit her shop-“

“You do not leave this castle. Am I clear?”

Silence. You look down at your lap.

“I said am I clear?” he repeats.

“Yes, your majesty…” you whisper.

“Good. Ghost?” your father calls to him. “Make sure she does not step foot out of this castle for the next 4 weeks.”

You look up. 4 weeks? That’s cruel. Even for him.

Ghost, just stands there, and nods. You glance at your mother. Her head is still bowed low, her eyes not daring to meet yours.

You pick at your food, having lost your appetite.

Going out of the castle has always been an issue with your father. As the only heir, and a female, your only job has been to marry a Prince and have him rule this kingdom. And give him many heirs. So protect your face and your ovaries. That’s it.

Many in this kingdom would like to end your life. Ending the only heir to the throne would end the King’s rule. And a new king would be forced to take over.

Many do not like your father. You don’t blame them either.

“I’m going to bed, goodnight…” you push your plate aside, getting up.

You walk out of the dining hall with no protests from your parents, hearing Ghost’s footsteps behind you. You walk down the silent halls to your quarters, entering the large luscious bedroom. Before you can close the doors, Ghost slides his foot between the doors.

“I am heading to bed?”

“I’ve been given strict orders to stay with you at all times.”

“Even in my bedroom?”

“Yes, your highness.”

“Isn’t that a little creepy?”

“It is my orders. I shall face away if that is what you desire.”

“Yeah, I do desire you to face away. And to close your ears.”

“As you wish, Princess.”

Oh. He’s mocking you. The way Princess rolls off his tongue as he steps into your bedroom, facing the wall. You scoff, walking towards your closet. You get changed into a nightgown and silk robe, freeing your hair of it’s style.

You walk back into your bedroom from your bathroom, after doing your nightly routine, sighing as you stand in front of your bed. He’s still standing facing the window, his back to you.

“Where will you sleep?” you ask.

“I will not,” he responds, not even looking at you.

“How? You can not survive without sleep,” you cross your arms over your chest, nipples peeking through your nightgown. Why did you choose to sleep without a bra? You don’t know.

“I can, Princess,” you can hear the smirk in his voice.

“Fine then. If you do require rest, there is an extra blanket in the closet,” you get into your comfy blankets, sighing.

It was going to be a long night of tossing and turning.

And hearing his breathing through that stupid, stupid balaclava.

Series Masterlist

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loving-barnes · 1 year ago

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LOGAN HOWLETT - BONDING MOMENT

A/N: Here I am, once again, with another chapter. Chapter 8, my friends, is here and it is still sweet. I will not spoil anything, just read and enjoy.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

Warning: explicit thoughts?

Summary: The students get to know Y/N a little more.

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story is suitable for mature audience.

Words: 3700+

Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine. This is set in AU.

A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter Seven

LOGAN HOWLETT - BONDING MOMENT

Nothing interesting had happened since that night at the bar. Logan helped Y/N get back to the school and to her room. He laughed at her silliness, which caught him by surprise. Logan wasn’t the guy to laugh around. He was usually stoic and grumpy. But there were some lingering touches here and there. And yet, their bodies were like two opposite magnetic poles, pushing away. The moment she closed the door, he sighed - relieved he didn’t do anything stupid but also sad that the night was officially over.

The days went by. Logan and Bobby joined the Professor in Washington for another conference. The President wanted to meet Charles during a banquet. They were gone for a few days. Jean and Scott were still away with Remy and Hank. The school got quieter when some students went home for the weekend. There were only some kids that had a supportive system back home. Many of them were alone in this cruel world.

On Sunday, the day before Y/N became a teacher, she and JJ were sitting outside on a bench near the pond. She took him out to spend some time with him. He snuggled closer to her side. The weather got colder. Heavy clouds appeared in the sky. Halloween was approaching, and the students were excited about the celebration.

“It’s going to be so much fun,” Jerome said with a wide smile. “I’ve heard you have to make your own mask. It’s a contest, you know?” he was ecstatic. “Everyone does it. The best masks will get some rewards. It’s mostly candy. That counts as a prize.”

“Wow,” Y/N said with a chuckle. She was glad that the boy was happy at the school. “Have you been thinking about what you want to become? Or would you like some suggestions?”

He shook his head. “No, I think I know what I want to be. I’m not telling you. It will be a surprise.”

“A surprise, you say? Alright, don’t tell me anything. I want to see what you will make,” she patted his head. “Otherwise, are you happy here? Do you have everything? Do you need anything?”

He thought about it for a second. “I have everything. They gave me clothes and school supplies. Jean told me to ask for anything. But I can always come to you, right?”

“You can always come to me, Storm, Kitty, or Logan,” she said. “You can even see the Professor and talk to him. He’s the one who created this school. He’s a good man.”

JJ nodded. “Listen,” he turned his head to look at her face. “A few nights ago, I think I heard you giggle in the hallways in the middle of the night.”

Y/N blinked, and she bit the inside of her lip. “Yeah,” she nodded and cleared her throat. “I went out with some of the teachers. We had a lot of fun that night.” It was half true. She omitted the part where she got drunk.

He poked Y/N into her shoulder. “I’m eleven, I’m not stupid,” he said. “You were with Professor Logan. I heard you talk. Well, you laughed more than you talked.” That was true. Logan walked her back to her room. They talked, she giggled, and then the night was over. “By the way, he’s awesome.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, nodding. “Does Logan teach you something?”

“We have one history lesson a week with him. I like the subject a lot. History is fascinating. Plus, he knows so much about the First and Second World Wars. He gives us so much information and details. As if he was there. He’s strict, and we cannot misbehave, but I enjoy the lesson.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” she said with a smile. A shiver ran down her spine. The wind got colder. “Let’s head inside and have a cup of tea. I think it’s going to rain. Or Storm is having a bad day, and she changed the weather to fit her mood.”

JJ laughed. He stood up first, grabbed Y/N’s hand and helped her up on feet. He held her by the forearm as they walked inside the school. When she scanned his face again, she noticed the bruises were healed and almost invincible. He looked healthier. It made her heart warm.

As they walked down the hallway, Y/N heard a whimpering sound. It was soft, girl-like. She frowned. Instead of going to the kitchen, she followed the sound. The boy was confused. He opened his mouth to ask where she was going, until he heard it too.

Y/N walked to the lounge room, where she found a young girl sitting on the window still, silently crying. She was JJ’s age. She had curly hair and glasses on her nose. Her skin was light brown.

Carefully, Y/N approached her. She didn’t want to scare her. “Hi,” she used a gentle voice. “Are you alright?” The girl's puffy brown eyes looked up. She shook her head and continued to cry. “Oh, come here, sweet angel,” she said. Her arms spread, and she waited for the girl to accept her hug.

Surprisingly, the girl was immediately hidden in her arms, weeping into Y/N’s leather jacket. Y/N stroked her curly hair lovingly, letting her take her time. JJ took a seat on the couch and silently watched.

“You can talk to me if you want?” Y/N said after another minute. “Did something happen? Has anyone been mean to you?”

The girl's tiny fingers brushed away the hot tears. “My parents haven’t visited me for three months now,” she confessed. That broke Y/N’s heart. “They brought me here, and I never saw them again.” Her voice was low, sad. “They hate me for what I am.”

That statement broke Y/N’s heart. She understood the girl’s pain. Her loved ones gave up on her because she was a mutant. “What’s your name?”

“Nova,” she said. Her arms were tightly wrapped around Y/N’s torso, holding her close.

“Nice to meet you, Nova,” Y/N said with a smile. She rested her head on top of the girl’s. “Tell me, what is your mutation?”

“I, uh,” she hesitated. “I can scream very loudly,” she said. “It can damage your hearing.”

Y/N tilted her head to the side, thinking. “Sonic screaming,” she said out loud. “That is an interesting mutation, Nova. You have powerful vocal cords, and I’ve never met a mutant with this ability.” It wasn’t a lie.

Nova lifted her head and finally looked at Y/N. “You think so?”

“Yes,” she said with a brighter smile than before. “Every mutation is unique, and so is yours. With learning and more information, you will master your ability and know how to properly use it. All you need is time, patience and practice.”

Y/N’s goal was to shift the girl’s attention to something else. It was evident that Nova was agonising over her parents’ neglect. That’s why Y/N wanted to gain her trust, and maybe she’d feel more comfortable around her.

“What is your mutation?” she asked.

“I can create protective forcefields,” Y/N explained. “I am still trying to learn more about my mutation. I’ve heard the term Flyrokinesis, but some call it Flyrogenesis.”

“Is there a difference?”

“Yes,” Y/N nodded. “Flyrokinesis means you can only control force fields. When you can create them, it’s called Flyrogenesis. I can do both.”

“That’s so cool,” Nova sighed. “You can do so much good with your mutation. I only hurt people,” she said. Nova pushed away from Y/N but remained sitting by her side.

Y/N chuckled a little. “Well, it’s not as it seems. I hurt with my ability, too. It was unintentional, but it happened. That is why we need to practise and learn about our mutations. So we won’t hurt people again. We can use our abilities to do good.”

“My mutation is elasticity,” JJ joined the conversation. He picked the right time. Nova’s eyes turned to him. “The people that fostered me thought it was disgusting,” he said. “Now I think my mutation is unique.”

Y/N’s eyes moved to the boy. This was new information. He had never said anything about his parents before. Now she knew why. He didn’t have parents. He was in foster care. Even there, he wasn’t loved. Y/N wanted to run to him and hide him in a tight, loving hug.

“My parents have sent me here and never came to see me or take me home for the weekend,” said Nova. “I deafened my father in one ear,” she confessed. “He never looked me in the eyes again.” And she started to cry again.

“Nova?” another soft voice said from the entrance to the room. “Are you okay?”

Y/N found three other girls standing at the door, watching them. The oldest girl could be thirteen. All three were different. One of them had cat-like irises. The mutation must have caused it.

“Yeah, I’m just talking to…” she turned to Y/N, not knowing her name.

“My name is Y/N. This is JJ,” she pointed at the only boy in the living room. “Would you like to join us?” she showed at the empty couch.

The girls walked inside and sat together. They introduced themselves, too. Jamie, Olivia and Kyra were friends with Nova. They all shared a room on the second level. At least these girls were the support Nova needed.

Y/N and Nova moved to sit next to JJ. “You are the new professor?” Olivia asked Y/N.

“Oh,” it caught her by surprise. Did the Professor announce it already? “Yes. I’ll be teaching English and Literature starting tomorrow. I got a few classes a week.”

“Really?” JJ’s eyes brightened. “That is so awesome!”

Y/N nudged his shoulder. “Thanks, buddy. I’ll be teaching you too, you know? We’ll have literature together on Tuesday and English on Thursday.”

“You haven’t been here long, have you?” Olivia asked. Her long blond hair was braided from the top of her head. She had colourful bracelets on her wrists. “I’ve been here for a year and noticed you a couple of times these past few weeks.”

Two teenage boys walked into the lounge room. They stopped in their tracks when they found the place occupied. “Sorry,” one of them said. “We thought we’d be alone here at this hour.” Before he could finish it, another two boys walked in.

Y/N raised a brow. Already ten people in the room. “What time is it?” she asked no one in particular. It took another five minutes, and another six children entered the room.

“You’re the new teach’,” one of the older boys pointed a finger at her. “Cool,” he smirked.

“I guess the word is spreading faster than you know,” Y/N mumbled under her nose.

“No, she’s the one who saved Jerome,” a girl said as she sat in an armchair. She was at least fifteen years old.

“I guess you have a reputation, Y/N,” JJ laughed when the kids around them started to talk about Y/N as if she was not there.

The woman raised her hands into the air to stop the debate. “If you want to know more, you need to ask the source - that’s me. Please, stop discussing me as if I was not here, okay?” One after one, they nodded their head. “Great. Let’s start again. My name is Y/N. Do you have any questions?”

“What is your mutation?”

“Is it true you will be our new teacher?”

“Did you throw Professor Summers out of the window a few days ago?”

That last question made her laugh. Obviously, they knew something happened. This was the perfect opportunity to talk to the students and know them better. She lived there for some time now. It would be nice to be part of their lives, be there for them. As she kept looking at it, she realised all these children stayed at school for the weekend. Some of the faces were familiar to her. They never left the school the whole time she lived there.

They all had one thing in common - their families gave up on them the moment they discovered how different their children were.

A frown appeared on her face. “Do you ever go home?” she asked gently. She wanted to know how many of them still had their parents.

They all shook their heads. “No,” said one of the oldest boys present. “Some of us have families on the other side of the states. Most of us are here all the time. They gave up on us.”

“I’m so sorry,” Y/N sighed. “I know how it feels to be pushed away from your family. Mine got rid of me, too.”

“Sure,” one of the girls scoffed.

Y/N’s eyes found hers. “They locked me in an insane asylum because I… I killed my own little sister with my mutation,” she admitted out loud. “It was the first time I used the ability. Until that moment, I didn’t know I was a mutant. My mutation is forcefield manipulation. Even though it is a protective ability, I managed to kill my sister with it.”

It was hard to admit it in front of a group of children. Y/N concluded it was better to tell the truth than to lie. What if Scott would open his big dumb mouth, and the kids would fear her? No more lying.

“My parents put me into an insane asylum because of it, and they never came for me. Well, I believe they’d rather see me dead. I escaped the asylum and joined a group of terrible people. My decisions were not the best. I’m not proud of that part of my life.”

“Y/N was locked with me in a lab where they experimented on us,” JJ chimed in. The kids turned their gazes at him. He sounded like a grown man. “She was already there when they brought me in. I helped her escape. Later, Profesor Logan and her came for me and saved my life.”

The silence that surrounded everyone was heavy. Some kids lowered their eyes to the ground, others closed them. They didn’t know what to say or if to say anything at all. The topic was heavy. Some could relate, and others were lucky to not experience anything tragic.

“I get how you all feel,” Y/N said. “I know what it is like when the people you love get rid of you like you’re an old, used toy. I understand you feel betrayal and pain, even anger.” Her hand found Nova’s hand, and she squeezed it reassuringly. “But look where you are now. You all ended up in a school for mutants, where you’ve been given a second chance for a better life. This place is your home. People here care and want the best for you. I dare to say that this is your new family.”

More silence followed. “I know I’m still a stranger to you, and you don’t trust me. That’s okay. Teachers like Storm, Jean or Kitty will be there for you. Please, just know you can talk to me, too. I want to help in any way that I can and know.”

Once Y/N finished talking, Nova wrapped her arms around Y/N’s waist and hugged her tightly. When JJ saw it, he did the same from the other side. The woman wrapped both arms around each child and smiled. The love she felt was immense. Before she knew it, more children approached her. They all huddled together in a big, warm hug. It was a beautiful gesture.

Storm walked around the school, checking on the students. She stepped into the lounge room. Her eyes landed on the scene before her. She had to smile. Storm was lucky enough to witness the group hug.

“What’s going on?” she asked softly.

Slowly, the children moved from the huddle. They went back to their sitting spots again. JJ kept his arms around Y/N while Nova grabbed Y/N’s hand and held it tightly.

“Just bonding,” Y/N said with a smile.

Storm’s lips reflected the smile. “That’s nice. I’m glad you are finding a way to their hearts.”

Later that day, The Professor returned with Logan and Bobby from the banquet. They were back after a few days away, and both men couldn’t be happier about their return. Bobby missed Kitty. They’d been texting here and there throughout the time. Logan didn’t have the guts to call or text Y/N. He rarely used his phone. Also, he thought it would be weird. Charles could feel Logan’s faint anxiety crawling around him. He knew the reasoning behind it. The man’s thoughts weren’t quiet.

They drove to the school, glad this ‘mission’ was over. They didn’t expect to hear loud music roaring from the building. Logan tilted his head to the side, frowning. “Is that coming from the school?” Then they heard singing. It was like a live concert. “What’s going on?”

Logan parked the car in the garage. They helped Charles out of the car and into his wheelchair. The singing got louder. It echoed around the garage. The students were singing a familiar song. Charles smiled and chuckled. When was the last time something like this happened?

All three went from the garage and got to the main level. The song changed. After a brief silence, the singing began again. The students were crammed in the lounge room, dancing around and singing as loud as their voices let them. When some kids noticed the Professor, they made a passageway for him and the other two teachers.

Logan’s eyes widened in surprise. He found Storm, Y/N and Kitty in the middle of the room, surrounded by students, jumping and screaming words to the song playing.

If you could see that I’m the one who understands you. Been here all along, so why can’t you see? You belong with me.

It seemed everyone knew the words to that song. All three women swayed their hips to the music, jumping around like all the students. They were happy, enjoying the moment. Y/N grabbed JJ’s hands when she started twisting him around. Her face was bright and cheerful. Even the boy was thrilled.

She wears high heels. I wear sneakers. She’s cheer captain. I’m on the bleachers.

This part was powerful. As if everyone wanted to scream the chorus as loud as possible. No one cared that the headmaster was present. But Charles had a big smile on his face. Yes, they organised events for the students, but this happened out of nowhere. It was special. It was a bonding moment for everyone.

“I love this song!” Bobby shouted, bobbing his head to the song. He started to sing the lyrics.

Storm draped an arm around Y/N’s shoulders while Y/N wrapped an arm around her waist as they sang the song. One of her hands remained on JJ. They laughed at their silliness. Kitty found Bobby walking to her. She got excited and ran into his arms, and they swayed together to the song.

Storm discovered Bobby a few seconds later. She stopped dancing, and her eyes found Charles and Logan. Her arm fell from Y/N’s shoulders, and she made her stop dancing.

Y/N gasped. Her face heated up, and she quickly turned around to turn off the music. She had a remote control to the stereo. When the song was abruptly stopped, the students whined. It was evident they were displeased by the interruption.

“Professor,” Storm said his name nervously. “I’m sorry for this. We got carried away.”

Charles laughed. “Oh, Storm, no need to apologise. I like that you all have so much fun on a Sunday afternoon. You should continue to have more fun.”

Y/N was breathing heavily. Her chest was rising and falling visibly. It was quite a cardio. Her eyes met Logan’s, who had a grin on his face. He leaned against the nearest wall, crossed his arms over his chest and kept staring. When he licked his lips, Y/N’s eyes followed his every movement.

“Well, the magic of the moment is kind of gone,” Y/N said. “But we had good two hours of this fun, right?” she turned to see the kids. They shouted affirmations. Some of them whistled.

“Okay, everyone, it’s time for us to end this session,” Storm raised her voice so everyone could hear her. “Thank you for being here and having fun. It’s time to get to your rooms and prepare for tomorrow.”

Logan watched as Y/N hugged a few younger kids. First, it was JJ, which wasn’t surprising. Then, it was two other girls. That sight made his insides tingle. He felt love radiating out of her. It made him smile. When they separated, Y/N’s eyes were back on him.

He took a few steps forward while greeting some of the kids. “Are you trying to bribe them to like you?” he mocked her.

“Are you jealous I’m giving my attention to them and not you?” she poked his bicep when Logan was close enough. “Or should I bribe you too?”

“I’m not that easy, princess.”

“What if I tell you I sneaked in some beer?” she raised her brows.

He was impressed. “You got me. Wait, you want to get drunk again?” he asked. “I won’t be taking care of your ass next time.”

Y/N squinted. Her body was ready to jump at him. Not because she was angry at him. She wanted to kiss that smug smile off his face. Last night, she imagined what his hands would feel on her body, how he would taste and feel. She pictured his hands exploring her naked body, his lips between her legs.

“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself,” she said. There was a teasing smile on her face. She walked past him and found JJ talking to one boy. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Logan watched her leave the lounge room with the boy. His mind was spinning. His eyes lowered and remained on her ass, watching it move with each step she took.

A hand tapped his shoulder. Bobby grinned at Logan. “You got it bad, my friend.”

“Shut up.”

#Logan Howlett x reader #Logan Howlett x female reader #Wolverine #Logan Howlett #Wolverine x reader #Wolverine x female reader #Marvel fanfiction #X-men fanfiction #Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

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gatheringbones · 20 days ago

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[“As I see it, there are three parts to the creative process: first, the extra vision with which the artist perceives a truth and conveys it by suggestion. Second, medium of expression: language for writers, paint for painters, clay or stone for sculptors, sound expressed in musical notes for composers. Third, design or structure. When it comes to language, nothing is more satisfying than to write a good sentence. It is no fun to write lumpishly, dully, in prose the reader must plod through like wet sand. But it is a pleasure to achieve, if one can, a clear running prose that is simple yet full of surprises. This does not just happen. It requires skill, hard work, a good ear, and continued practice, as much as it takes Heifetz to play the violin. The goals, as I have said, are clarity, interest, and aesthetic pleasure.

On the first of these I would like to quote Macaulay, a great historian and great writer, who once wrote to a friend, “How little the all important art of making meaning pellucid is studied now! Hardly any popular writer except myself thinks of it.” As to structure, my own form is narrative, which is not every historian’s, I may say—indeed, it is rather looked down on now by the advanced academics, but I don’t mind because no one could possibly persuade me that telling a story is not the most desirable thing a writer can do. Narrative history is neither as simple nor as straightforward as it might seem. It requires arrangement, composition, planning just like a painting—Rembrandt’s “Night Watch,” for example. He did not fit in all those figures with certain ones in the foreground and others in back and the light falling on them just so, without much trial and error and innumerable preliminary sketches. It is the same with writing history. Although the finished result may look to the reader natural and inevitable, as if the author had only to follow the sequence of events, it is not that easy. Sometimes, to catch attention, the crucial event and the causative circumstance have to be reversed in order—the event first and the cause afterwards, as in The Zimmermann Telegram. One must juggle with time.

In The Proud Tower, for instance, the two English chapters were originally conceived as one. I divided them and placed them well apart in order to give a feeling of progression, of forward chronological movement to the book. The story of the Anarchists with their ideas and deeds set in counterpoint to each other was a problem in arrangement. The middle section of the Hague chapter on the Paris Exposition of 1900 was originally planned as a separate short centerpiece, marking the turn of the century, until I saw it as a bridge linking the two Hague Conferences, where it now seems to belong. Structure is chiefly a problem of selection, an agonizing business because there is always more material than one can use or fit into a story. The problem is how and what to select out of all that happened without, by the very process of selection, giving an over- or under-emphasis which violates truth. One cannot put in everything: The result would be a shapeless mass. The job is to achieve a narrative line without straying from the essential facts or leaving out any essential facts and without twisting the material to suit one’s convenience. To do so is a temptation, but if you do it with history you invariably get tripped up by later events. I have been tempted once or twice and I know. The most difficult task of selection I had was in the Dreyfus chapter. To try to skip over the facts about the bordereau and the handwriting and the forgeries—all the elements of the Case as distinct from the Affair—in order to focus instead on what happened to France and yet at the same time give the reader enough background information to enable him to understand what was going on, nearly drove me to despair. My writing slowed down to a trickle until one dreadful day when I went to my study at nine and stayed there all day in a blank coma until five, when I emerged without having written a single word. Anyone who is a writer will know how frightening that was. You feel you have come to the end of your powers; you will not finish the book; you may never write again.”]

barbara w. tuchman, from practicing history: selected essays, 1996

#barbara w. tuchman #currently reading

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baiwu-jinji · 1 year ago

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TGCF author's notes translation

@/camilikha on twitter kindly provided links to TGCF author's notes and I translated the ones I find informative and interesting. See translations below:

chapter 58 notes: The second book is all about the overconfident Xie Lian with delusions of grandeur and the tender little flower (mxtx means kid Hua Cheng) and their diaries of the downfall of Xianle. Word count is undecided, I'm never accurate at estimating word counts anyway. It's just like the xianxia I write doesn't fit into your regular xianxia, the royalty I write doesn't fit into your regular fictional depictions of royalty - just the outlandish made-up worlds and social customs in the author's imagination...

chapter 60 notes: If we put Qi Rong in a modern context, we could say that he has bipolar disorder.

chapter 72 notes: about the chapter title "To Meet You in the Mortal Realm; to Find Flowers Beneath the Rain" - eventually I feel that "To Meet You" is more romantic than "To Meet Someone". Just think about it, "meeting you" is one of the most romantic things in the world.

chapte 80 notes: Of course (HC) won't give (XL) a handjob or help him [...], but Huahua's sexual awakening starts with this incident... (XL is seriously obssessed with martial arts combat!)

chapter 88 notes: Xie Lian never gets tanned, I envy him... I finally reached this place - in a dilapidated temple, a god about to be forgotten and a believer who's still young - this is the first mental image I have about this story, which drove me to wrote the story. I'm the kind of person who'd make up a whole book just to get to write a certain passage...

chapter 119 notes: Actually Huahua is just being naughty and wants to joke around playing dead, who'd have thought...

chapter 123 notes: So Black Water made his appearance long ago, he's been hanging around before your eyes all along. Wind Master never knew the real Mingyi, it's always been the same person before him - and before you readers. (Black Water) officially recognized as Best Actor of this story! I've been holding it a secret for so long and so has he, now I can finally let it out.

chapter 141 notes: If you heat up Huahua in the kiln, he'll grow bigger~

chapter 175 notes: "Hua Cheng! Your diary! We've read it all!!!"

chapter 229 notes: Huahua low-key sucking up to the elderly to make a good impression

chapter 242 notes: Why do you like to spook yourselves? - why on earth would there be such plots as (XL) waiting for another 800 years - too long, impossible! Happy ending is around the corner!

SVSSS is my first work so it has some exceptions that I won't discuss here, but MDZS and TGCF both only have one main couple. I said this repeatedly in the author's notes when MDZS was being serialized and in other places. As for Mo Xuanyu, he is a little gay dude but he died at the beginning of the story so he doesn't count as a serious character...It's fine to have headcanons you like as long as you don't seperate the main couple. But for me personally, my taste leans towards having only one gay couple in the story, and I have no plans to write about another secondary couple. I'm stating this to avoid some unnecessary disputes.

XL is good at making pickled vegetables. Because pickled vegetables are needed with steamed bun and rice porridge, so XL became quite experienced after practicing for hundreds of years. Also you can just leave the pickled vegetable by itself most of the time and let it undergo chemical reaction. XL mostly fail because he get inventive.

XL and Mu Qing chose the same path of cultivation and are both Daoists. But Feng Xin never studied under a master at the Holy Royal Pavillion so he's not a Daoist and simply a plebeian martial god, so he doesn't need to observe the celibacy rules like XL and Mu Qing.

My passion for inventing new dishes (or rather weapons) cooked by Xie Lian is only slightly less than my passion for making Huahua change into new clothes

Huahua often turn into human forms, in which he has two eyes, so you guys can stop counting the number of his eyes.

In the setting of this story, if you want to be a god,you need to be a human hero first, which means you need to be the best of the best among humans. Only heaven officials who ascended are real heaven officials and belong in the Upper Court. How do you ascend? Firstly it depends on your personal ability, you have to be outstanding in some aspect (such as martial arts or literary talents) to enter the path of ascension. Secondly it depends on luck, if you're extremely lucky and a favourite of fate, and just picked up some rare secret guides (to ascension) or immortal pills by the roadside, that works too. Officials in the Middle Court are appointed, which means someone in the Heavenly Realm could promote you to that position. But Middle Court officials have the opportunity to become a bona fide Upper Court official too if they're capable enough.

Black Water indeed owes Hua Cheng a huge sum of money and is a very impoverished Calamity, seriously lowering the income standard of the Calamities (although there're only three of them). But his debt isn't completely due to eating too much. As for the money Black Water owes, it's an ancient debt - 40% is the cost of buying gifts for heaven officials of Upper Court and planting agents there (bribery!), 30% is maintenance fee for his territory and expenses on pet food, the rest 30% is food (for himself).

Talismans are probably the equivalent of the business cards (of heaven officials)... "Hello this is my consecrated talisman" = "hello this is my business card"

You can't get rid of ghostly essence (which XL is tainted with because he spends too much time with HC) simply by brushing your teeth with plain water...you need to use consecrated spell water (which is super bitter and weird).

The weapon forged by a heaven official is called fabao (literally "dharma treasure"); if it's a weapon forged by mortal Daoists and monks, it's called faqi (literally "dharma tool") - only after their ascension can their weapons be called fabao.

In my imagination, Xianle ia the kind of small ancient kingdom that's overall culturally Han, but has peculiar customs...although I feel like what I wrote on Xianle is mostly just peculiar hahahaha [facepalm] [beat myself up]

Not only are the forms, customs, cultures, and politics of countries in this story made-up, the kind of arcane stuff like occult sciences and philosophical values are all made-up. Although I did research but the records I consulted are too difficult to understand, so I just made things up on my own. Please bear with me If you're knowledgable in this sort of thing hahaha.

Puqi refers to water chestnut.

Look up "Blood-Soaked Fire Social" (xue she huo) if you're interested, it exists in real life and is very thrilling. What I wrote is different from the traditional festival, there're some made-up elements to make it more exciting

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hualian

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ssivinee · 6 months ago

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➢ 𝙴𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚙𝚜𝚎

IVE! Band! Yujin x Band! F reader: You and Yujin seem to agree on a new chapter in your friendship, but she seems to want more than that. The both of you, confused at what the status of your relationship is, let fate do its work... which seemed to be doing very good at its job with the two of you.

Word Count: 5.9 k

Author's Note: *⚠️Warnings: mentions of substance abuse, heavy use of strong language, violence, and harassment.⚠️* This took so long. IM SO SORRY, but December was a rollercoaster of a month frfr, but IM BACK, AND I WILL POST MORE THIS MONTH, I SWEAR. The song isnt mentioned at all in this fic, but this is essentially the song she writes after all this🙂‍↕️.

⚠︎ Directions ⇒ Main | Previous | Next

“You think if I headbutt her, she’ll wake up?” The older mumbles as she squats down, staring at Yena, who is still knocked out from a failed night of partying. Wonyoung looks at her unnie with a face that just said, ‘tf did you just say?’ “Yes, I’d like to think she’s alive and breathing enough to feel that pain, unnie,” Yujin voices as she prepares two cups of coffee and some tea for Wony.

“She just can’t be calm for one second,” Chaewon grumbles.

Yujin gave them both the run down of what happened last night, leaving out the significant details of your final words to her. “I just didn’t expect Y/n unnie to be the one to help her, even bring her here,” Wonyoung says as she takes the fresh cup of tea from Yujin’s hands, sipping on the steaming hot liquid.

“True,” Chaewon answers as she sits down softly beside Yena, who begins to stir out of sleep. Her vision felt blurry, rubbing her eyes to gain her senses as she realized she was in Yujin’s apartment. “How the hell did I get here?” Her voice was hoarse, so Yujin jogged to her fridge, handing her a cold bottle of water. “You partied too hard, and Y/n unnie brought you back to our place,” Yena looked puzzled at Wonyoung’s words. “Y/n brought me here?”

“You were so out of it, unnie. Didn’t we already talk about drinking and drugs as something that shouldn’t be combined?” At Yujin’s worried tone, Yena swiped a finger under her nose, feeling the remains of the lingering powder. They knew this wasn’t exactly the time to be lecturing her, but Chaewon’s motherly instincts kicked in, “Look, you know how we feel about you using those, but we also know you're mature enough to know when and where they can be used. You could've been in danger if Y/n didn’t step in.”

Yena groans, sitting up from her position as she chugs the rest of her water. “I know, I know. It was a mistake. I didn’t expect Hayoung to bring some, but when he did, I just went for it…” The three shake their head simultaneously. “That isn’t the best excuse right now. What if Y/n unnie didn’t find you, and you just kept drinking? Who knows what would have happened, unnie,” Wony says, careful in the way she says it.

Yena just keeps her head down, her head still pounding, and she is just overall disappointed in her choices last night. “How about you give Y/n a ‘thanks for helping me out’ gift,” Chaewon suggests, and Wonyoung nods excitedly. “She works at Evermore cafe on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays, I think. You’ll probably have the best chance of catching her there.” The three now look at Wonyoung, worried about how she knew that information. “What? I like getting my tea and coffee there every day,” She pouts, sipping on her tea again as everyone giggles. “I’ll go with you if you want, unnie?” Yujin says, picking up her car keys to drop Yena off at home and get her bearings together. “We can do that,” She nods, trying to collect herself and put on her sweater that wreaked of alcohol. “God, I need a shower and a change of clothes.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, girl,” Yujin says with a chuckle, leading her unnie out the door with her wallet, car, and house keys in hand. “What do I even get her as a ‘thank-you’ gift?” Yena asks as she sits on the passenger side, hands clasping her hair as if stressed. “How about some nice set of flowers? That would be a good start.” Yujin says, turning her car on and letting it heat up. Yena nods, agreeing to the idea.

“Why would she help me?” Yujin side eyes the older, as she was trying to focus on the road. “Maybe she just saw a girl in need of help and did it out of the kindness of her heart,” Yujin suggested, and it made Yena think. “Then I should get her some pink roses. That’s a good thank-you gift, right?” She asks, a bit stressed again, but Yujin pats her shoulder to calm her down.

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, unnie.” “How are you so sure?!” Yena flails her arms, quickly regretting it as she feels the pulsing headache return. “One thing I won't forget is how appreciative Y/n is. We were friends at one point, you know?” Yena’s eyes glimmer, reminded that you guys knew each other at one point.

“True!” Yena gets excited, shimmying in the passenger seat, followed by an ‘ouch’ that had Yujin giggling.

You were working an afternoon shift as usual at the cafe and were currently making a few drinks. It was a Sunday afternoon, a little before sundown, so the place wasn’t flooded with customers like every weekday. As you took your time making two drinks, you heard the door ringing, usually correlating to people entering.

“Hello, welcome to Ever—” once you looked up, you couldn’t even finish your sentence. You were stunned to see Yujin and Yena standing in the cafe. The shorter one held pink roses wrapped in pastel yellow paper and a large bouquet of white flowers in the younger’s arm. Meanwhile, Yujin held a large, nice-looking blue paper bag in her hands. “Did you guys want a drink today?” you asked nicely, knowing Yena hadn’t exactly had the best night.

“Well, some kind of herbal tea would be nice, but I wanted to give you these,” Yena said, forwarding the pink flowers across the counter. Just as a thank you for helping me last night.” You waved your hands frantically, “You didn’t have to do that, you know?” You say, but softly take it from her hands; you don’t want to seem rude. “You deserve it. None of us could’ve known what would've happened if you left me there.”

“And uhm,” Yujin spoke, looking down at the bag and flowers, feeling a tad bit nervous. “I wanted to give this to you as a sorry for Yena unnie last night, and… you know… what we talked about last night?” Her wavering voice was noticeable as her eyes met yours. She handed you the larger bouquet and put the bag down on the counter. Yena watched as you took it into your own arms, eyes trailing back to Yujin, who just gave you this look she couldn’t quite point out.

What the hell did the two of you talk about last night?

Yena just stands there, lost, as you give them both a smile, “How about I put these gifts in my locker, and I’ll make you guys your drinks? It’ll be on me for the gifts,” Yena was about to object, but you cut her off, “It’s literally the least I could do.”

You walked to the back room, unlocked your locker, and put the gift in. Knowing that you would probably forget, you decided to remind yourself to put them in water since you wouldn’t be able to for the rest of your shift. As you set the reminder, you began to think, what did the white flowers mean? You weren’t exactly a flower connoisseur to know about these things. All you knew was pink was a sign of thanks.

So you open up the internet really quickly, typing what white flowers mean in Korea. As you read what popped up, hydrangea flowers in white mean an apology. The flowers Yujin gave you specifically, white lilies, roses, and carnations, had you furrowing your brows. Most of them meant sorry and as a sign of respect, but when you read briefly about the carnations, it is said to be a symbol of true love.

Hearing the front door ring again, you couldn’t take the time to look inside the pretty paper bag, just shutting the locker and rushing to the front. “Sorry for the wait. How about I get you some roasted barley tea, Yena? Just to calm you down after everything,” Yena nods appreciatively as you look at Yujin, a brow raised at her. “Want some iced malcha?” You ask, and Yujin’s eyes grow large.

After all these years of not being friends, do you still remember that she liked green tea? Yujin only nods, and you get to work after giving the receipt while Yena looks at her member. “How the fuck did she remember that?” Yujin just shrugs, her eyes never prying off of your figure.

She watched you in your light purple apron, hair tucked into a messy bun, the claw clip struggling to keep your long black hair tamed. You kept your focus on both the drinks, not realizing her strong gaze on your figure. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself; the thought of her giving you such a symbolic gift gave you butterflies in your stomach.

Despite not being friends for so long, you were, ironically, the friend who never forgot the little things people liked, even if they were your former friends. This may not have been the exact gesture to reconcile your relationship with her, but it was for everyone's peace after all this time.

“Your malcha and tea!” You say a large smile graced your face as they picked up the cups. You see a sense of hesitance in Yujin’s stance, and you look at her, a bit confused, as she stands there awkwardly. “Anything else, Ahn?” Your question snaps her out of her trance, and she shakes her head a bit. “Nope, definitely not! Have a good day!” You stare at them, leaving, your face clearly weirded out. Yena is currently being dragged out the door, and Yujin slaps her forehead with the palm of her hand.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Yujin kept mumbling as Yena’s tiny body was still behind her, trying to keep up with Yujin’s longer legs as she was being dragged to her car. “Way to give yourself a ‘watch me embarrass myself’ moment,” Yena smiles as the younger side eyes her annoyingly.

They enter the car, still holding their drinks, “Seriously though. what the fuck was that?!” “I don’t know!” Yujin practically yells. She couldn’t answer the question herself. Yujin has never been one to embarrass herself in front of someone, and you being the first person it happened to makes her want to sink into a black hole.

All she wanted to do was ask for your number, which was clearly an epic fail.

By the time they left, several people had come in, and the time passed quickly due to the lack of customers. It was now nearly nine, and you had taken all your belongings and began locking up the store. The night sky was already shining with the moon, and you felt a yawn as you placed the store key in your bag. The walk home was quick, the ten minutes being a breeze, walking into your small apartment that was around five blocks away.

You slip off your shoes and lay your items on the couch as you walk to the kitchen, immediately trying to heat up some food for yourself. Trying to get the food on the stove faster was the goal as you felt disgustingly drenched in sweat. You jog into your room, get a change of clothes, and decide to take a quick shower. Once you finished, you kept drying your hair with a towel but smelt the food. You take it all in but have a glimpse of the flowers and shopping bag that Yujin and Yena got you.

Looking around your apartment, you take the only vase you own, add some water, and unravel both bouquets to put them in, arranging them to look a bit more appealing. You then remembered you didn’t have the time to check inside the bag yet. After throwing out the papers wrapping paper, you take a seat on the couch, opening it up. You found a dark purple hoodie, an envelope, and a box.

As you took it out, you realized she had forgotten to take the tag off, and you’re taken aback. “A 150 PRICED HOODIE!” You shriek, looking at it. It seems to be from a smaller brand, and the logo on the front looks unfamiliar to you, but it is still cute. The look of a bunch of vintage-looking flowers, then a statue seemingly stitched heavily into it. You then take a look at the smaller box inside, and it was dark blue with some silver detailing on it.

You open it and gasp, finding a silver bracelet with some aquamarine gemstones around it. ‘My birthstone?’

If only you knew Yujin’s struggle to pick the right one out. Her memory definitely wasn’t as good as yours, but she was in that store, staring at every blue gemstone for an hour straight until she felt sure about your birth month. She finally remembered it was in spring and a month with several exams coming in the months after, so she finally remembered your birthday was in March.

You stared at the bracelet, its colors and shine twinkling in your eyes. Your eyes looked around, but she seemed to remember, at least, to take out the tag for this one. Your hands then rummage in the bag, trying to take out the last item, the envelope. Fingers fumbling to open it, you find a small note inside. The paper had flowers printed on its border, causing you to giggle. ‘What’s up with her and flowers today?’

You begin reading, ‘I don’t want this to be so awkward. I will admit, after all these years, you’re still a good friend. We may not be close at the moment, but I truly appreciate what you’ve done for Yena-unnie and what you told me last night.’

Not close at the moment, huh? That had a tint of blush forming on your face. Was she expecting to get close to you again? You thought it was sweet, and you were both headed in a good direction. You wanted to reminisce more, but the scent of the food seemed to be filling the air. You had to be able to eat so you could work on some music before heading to bed for another shift early in the morning.

You head to your office space, turning on the iridescent lights that glow purple and blue around the room. Your light tap on the mouse automatically turns the monitor of your computer on, showing some notes and photos that have been giving some kind of inspiration. Grabbing the notebook on your desk, you open it to a specific page that lacks writing.

Your eyes travel all over your space, finding where you last placed your guitar, and you are strumming to try and find the melody that feels right.

There was slight hope, the interaction with Yujin might’ve given you some inspiration but you were just stuck. The previous songs you created and released were quickly rising in popularity. Your subconscious was not able to keep up with the charts, and it was beginning to weigh on your mind. The pressure to release something better was gut-wrenching and made you want to throw up at the thought of it.

In two days, you were guesting on a radio station about the group's rising fame, and you couldn’t shake the anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach. The girls seemed to be okay with you going alone; they were busy with other major things in their lives at the moment.

You were generally good with public speaking and performing, but interviews felt insanely different. It was going to be a constant loop of being aware of your language and the questions being thrown at you, but you didn't want to think about it until the day of.

But thinking that was a big mistake as you sat inside the station, the two hosts sitting in front of you.

While you were just a ball of anxiety waiting to burst, Yujin listened in, hearing from Yena about the news of you being on the show.

“Good evening, people of Korea! Welcome back to the Rising Loud Show! We’re your hosts, Lee Jihyun and Kim Hyunju. We actually have a special guest today. From the group rising to fame, Abyss, we have their main vocal, bassist, composer, AND producer of the group, Cha Y/n!”

The two hosts cheer and applaud as you smile from across the table, “Thank you, it’s an honor to be here.

“Oh, ever so humble. You’ve been making waves in the band world, Y/n. I think it’s okay to boast from time to time,” the male host, Hyunju, spoke, causing the ladies to giggle. He continues, “So your group recently hit nine hundred thousand listeners on Spotify last week, and your song Love Me or Leave Me has been used on some large music shows here in Korea! How does it feel?”

“Truth be told, it is a wild roller coaster in the beginning. We got so much support from the get-go that I almost felt a bit frazzled. Now I’m just happy and a little pressured.”

“Pressured? Why is that?”

“When writing both Drowning and lmolm, the writing process came quite easy to me since they were about experiences I’ve had in life. Truthfully, those experiences aren’t many, so now, you could say I’ve hit writer's block.” Jihyun, the female host, perks up, “Well, that's some interesting information there, folks. Would you like to share some of those experiences with the world?” You laugh at the question, knowing that once you aired this out, it would be on the internet forever.

“Well, our latest release was actually about a one-sided relationship I had with a toxic ex. I felt like I was on a leash in the relationship because I was so in love, and then they talked about me behind my back, and it gave me a reality check,” you nod. Yujin, on the opposite end, listened intently, not knowing the back story behind you and Soyeon. “It sucked, but in the end, it got me to where I am today.”

“Drowning, on the other hand, is somewhat misinterpreted as a love song. It’s written in that way, but it's about an old broken friendship I had.” Yujin’s eyes softened at your words, sitting comfortably on her couch as she stared at the ceiling. “I felt bad? I say that as a question because I’m not sure. She may be listening right now.” You giggle.

“As kids, we were best friends. We did everything together, and it was such a fun relationship, but that seemed to also be the downfall of our friendship. Since we were around each other so much, people seemed to pit us against each other, and it worked until we became practically enemies. One was trying to be a thorn in the other side, and sometimes, we just wanted to piss each other off. This year, the bad blood became tiring to bear, so we made up.”

“Do you mind telling us who it is? There are a few speculations, so,” Yujin hears the host have a suspicious voice, but you state no with a chuckle, avoiding the topic quickly.

“So, new music, right? Let’s talk about it!”

“Well… there isn’t really much to say. It's still very much in the early stages of the process, and I’ll need some help with it. I may ask my members,” you say with a smile. Yujin kept listening in; she never heard you talk for such a long time in years, and the radio show made her feel like you were speaking to her while she just listened.

She loved it. Listening to you speak about your love for music, working at your job and enjoying it, speaking about other hobbies and wishes made her feel like you were her best friend all over again. It only made her think deeper. How was she gonna go about this?

Showing up to your job every day would be plain weird. She didn’t want to just make it seem like everything was back to normal because she didn’t want to come off as nonchalant. She also didn’t want to be overbearing and reach out herself.

“Why don’t you just let the world take its course?” Yujin jumps in her spot, hearing Wonyoung, who she finds sitting on the island stool and sipping some tea. “Now, why the hell would you do that to me… AND WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DRINKING TEA?”

The younger girl shrugs, but her brow is raised, “Stop worrying about how to be close again and just let it take its course.”

“I know your right, but like I can’t help but-”

“You can’t help but overthink. I know, unnie, I know.” Wonyoung takes a seat, hearing the muffled voices from the radio show.

“Do you like her?” Yujin looks at her in surprise, “W-what? I don’t…”

Wony raises her brow, clearly not believing her, and Yujin sighs, “I’m not sure.” “Wel,l that isn't an acceptable answer,” Yujin’s brows furrowed. “What does that mean?”

“Either you like someone, or you don’t, no in between.” Wonyoung sips on her tea again as Yujin scoffs. “It’s true, though. Even an inkling of liking someone is liking someone.” Yujin lowers her head, knowing she’s right.

“I guess I do.”

“What about your love life right now?” The two of them hear the phone say out loud, one of the hosts asks, and they hear you giggle. “No one is currently in the picture, but who knows? I wouldn’t turn away love.”

“I’m not sure anyone expected you to be a romantic, Miss Cha,” the two hosts laugh as the younger girls listen more intently. “I believe love can equate to a different kind of happiness. One that completes you.” The hosts grow quiet at your words, and Wonyoung smiles, “I didn’t expect unnie to be such a heartthrob.”

“She’s always been that way,” the older smiles a bit, and the maknae stares at her. “It’s why she was loved by everyone. She always returned that same love,” she smiles and looks at the girl next to her, the younger, giving her a mischievous grin. “You're so in love with her.” “I’M NOT IN LOVE!”

“Don’t lie to yourself~”

It had been a few days after your radio guest, and life had been… a bit harder than usual. You had been given many more hours to work the first few days, and you were barely able to hang out with your band. Even now, you are still struggling to write a song.

A few hours after your guest appearance, Ning Ning reached out to you, wanting to help in the process. The two of you began to write it the day after, but since then, it seems like Ning Ning has been ignoring it for some unknown reason.

Your frustrations were beginning to build up. You never wanted to be angered by Ning Ning. Everyone in your group had they’re own lives and jobs to work on. Yet you knew Ning better out of everyone.

Ning Ning came from a richer family. She didn’t need to work and had lots of spare time on her hands. It was pretty evident in the way she used to nag you about hanging out more since ‘she never had anything to do.’ You also always believed that you were an understanding friend. No matter what it was, you would’ve understood.

Your issue was that she just shouldn’t have offered if it was going to turn out this way. Your expectations were just not met.

So here you were, standing outside Ning Ning's penthouse, sighing as you rang the doorbell and heard muffled, chaotic music bleeding through the walls. The sound was loud enough to make you grit your teeth as you waited.

When the door swung open, her smile faded almost instantly, like she was caught doing something she shouldn't. "Hey, Y/n~," she started, but her voice sounded shaky, barely cutting through the pounding bass behind her.

You peered over her shoulder and immediately spotted a few faces you recognized from her Instagram posts—Ning Ning’s rich friends. You didn’t even bother hiding your irritation as your eyes settled back on her.

“Weren’t we supposed to meet up today at the studio?” Her gaze darted to the floor before she glanced nervously behind her. “I just got caught up in something at the last minute,” she said, trying to sound casual, but the lie was obvious.

“Caught up in something?!” Your voice rose before you could stop it, making her wince. “This is the sixth time you’ve flaked on me this week, Yizhuo!” You didn’t miss the way she flinched at the use of her full name.

“I didn’t mean to,” she muttered, almost too quietly to hear over the music.

“Is it because of some guy?” you snapped, cutting her off when she opened her mouth to reply.

“Oh, please,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You know it’s not—”

“So it’s because of some girl.” Your eyebrows shot up as you interrupted her again. The brief flash of guilt on her face was all the confirmation you needed.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you hissed, and Ning Ning’s expression hardened as frustration crept into her features.

“Is that a crime?!” she fired back, her voice rising to match yours now.

“No, but you had the decency to say you’d help me write another song, yet here we are!” You gestured broadly toward the apartment, your voice cutting through the music like a knife. Ning Ning looked over her shoulder again, as though hoping her friends weren’t listening, but she still didn’t seem to grasp why you were upset.

“You guys aren’t my only friends,” she said defensively, her tone sharp now.

“News flash, Yizhuo!” you snapped, taking a step closer. “We aren’t just your friends. We’re supposed to be like sisters! Coworkers, even! Most of our income comes from our music. The sad reality is we’re not all fed with a silver spoon like you. Some of us actually need this to work. So maybe next time, don’t get my hopes up if you’re just going to let me down.”

Her face twisted, caught somewhere between anger and guilt. “Well, maybe you’re stuck because Yujin has your damn brain fucked into oblivion. Have you thought about that?”

Her words hit you like a slap, sharp and personal in a way you didn’t expect. Your stomach twisted at the accusation, but you refused to let her see it. “We help each other in times of need, Ning,” you said, your voice low but biting. “I’ve always been there for you. Always. And you couldn’t do this one simple thing for me.”

Ning Ning’s mouth opened like she wanted to argue, but you didn’t give her the chance. You stepped back, shaking your head. “Just fuck off, Ning.”

The look on her face stung, but not enough to make you stop. Without another word, you turned and walked away, letting the sound of the door closing behind you seal the argument.

Your chest felt heavy as you made your way down the hall, but you didn’t look back. You couldn’t.

The two of you had fought several times before but made up instantly. This moment wasn’t like the rest, and it gave you a headache.

Deciding to want to clear your mind, you make your way over to the park near her building. As you got closer and closer, you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket as if there was some crazy news. But you knew all to well that it was just Ning Ning blowing up your messages.

You make it to the park, sitting down on a nearby bench as you hear the cars pass by late at night. Pulling out your phone, you see the twenty notifications left by your best friend, but you don’t care to read them, not yet, at least. You let out a heavy sigh, stuffing the phone back into your pockets as you keep your eyes on the dark sky.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” your body jolts up from your seat in surprise at the nearing voice, and you look to your left to find Yujin. She looked more proper than usual in a long-sleeved button with a white collar, some straight jeans, and a pair of simple white sneakers. Her hair was held up with a claw clip, and she wore her glasses. “Oh, uhm, I mean likewise,” you answer.

She tilted her head, sighing as she clutched onto the long strap of her leather satchel. “My car broke down while coming home from work, so I had to walk… this seemed to be the safer option for me to cut through.”

“Seems like we both have bad luck today,” you inquire, and Yujin stands there, a bit struck by what to do. Then she remembers Wonyoung’s words, ‘Stop worrying about how to be close again and just let it take its course.’

“Wonyoung, you smart ass,” she mumbles and sits down beside you. “Long day?” You could only scoff at her words. “Not long day, it’s been a long hour.”

“Hour? Well, that doesn’t sound too good.” Your phone buzzes again loudly, interrupting the conversation a bit. You take out your phone, showing it to Yujin as you wave it with the grasp of your two fingers. “Ning and I were supposed to start writing a song this past week, but she bailed on me six times. All because of a girl. I mean, she could’ve just told me that was the case, but instead, she kept making empty promises and giving me bullshit excuses in the end. My mom needed me home for dinner today. My cousin needed a ride out of town. I have to help my grandma tonight. The excuses just wouldn’t end.”

You pause, catching yourself rambling, and find Yujin staring at you with a sympathetic look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to rant.”

She shakes her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. “No need to say sorry. If it makes you feel better, work was absolute shit for me today. The kids in my class had so much more energy than usual. Some ripped papers, some scribbled all over worksheets I needed to grade by the end of today, two of them kicked me in the shin on purpose, I had a meeting with snobby higher-ups, and my car broke down.”

The image she painted made you chuckle faintly despite yourself. Her smile widened at the sound, and she added, “Teaching assistant life, right?”

“Wait, you’re a teacher now?”

“Correction, teaching assistant,” she clarified, pointing a finger up as the other hand adjusted her glasses. The gesture sent you into a fit of laughter that she quickly joined in on.

“I still love my job, though,” she continued once the laughter faded, her voice soft. “Those kids will always be the highlight of my week. Other than performing, of course.”

“That does sound nice. At least you don’t have to deal with rude customers on a daily basis,” you said, the headache from earlier easing as you spoke.

“Yeah, I can’t even imagine how that is for you,” she said with an exaggerated grimace. “Remember when Bomyuk sat in your chair and told you to buzz off in the third grade? You literally grabbed the chair and yanked it so hard he fell flat on his back. I’m still amazed your temper can handle customer service.”

You couldn’t stop laughing at the memory, shaking your head. “You know he deserved that. Besides, I’ve grown from that.”

“Uh-huh,” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

The light moment was interrupted when a familiar voice cut through the conversation. “I wanna know the joke.”

Both of you turned to see Lee Seoyeon standing nearby, her smirk as irritating as you remembered.

“My day just keeps getting better and better, huh?” you muttered sarcastically. Yujin’s expression immediately darkened at the sight of her.

“Couldn’t have just kept walking, Seoyeon?” Yujin asked, her voice laced with frustration.

“Can’t I greet my dear ex-girlfriend and her ex-best friend? Just a couple of exes chatting, no?” Seoyeon’s smirk grew, her tone dripping with mockery.

“Did you just come over to piss us off?” Yujin stood, her towering figure casting a shadow over the smaller girl.

“It isn’t worth it, Yujin,” you said softly, reaching for her arm to tug her back gently.

Seoyeon ignored you, her gaze fixed on Yujin. “You should listen to my dear Y/n. She always knows better than you, always has.”

Yujin’s jaw tightened, and you could see the fury rising in her. She stepped closer, but you quickly got between them, pushing her back.

“Oh? Did I hit a nerve? The two of you look so friendly now. Guess it’s not an issue anymore,” Seoyeon said smugly, taking a step forward.

“Just leave us alone,” you snapped, your tone sharper than before.

Seoyeon feigned hurt. “Y/n, I’m offended you don’t want me around. Done following me like a sick puppy? Tired of our amazing relationship? I mean, I could still show you a good time, you know?” She stepped closer, but before you could respond, Yujin’s fist collided with her face.

“You disrespectful piece of shit!” Yujin threw another punch before you could stop her, and Seoyeon stumbled back, blood dripping from her nose.

“Enough! Enough!” you yelled, pulling Yujin away as she struggled against your grip.

“We’re in public, Yujin. I don’t need you going to prison,” you said firmly, glancing at the small crowd that had started to gather.

Yujin exhaled sharply, her anger still palpable, but she let you guide her away.

“Rot in hell, Seoyeon,” you spat over your shoulder before pulling Yujin toward your apartment.

Within minutes, you were home. You led Yujin into the living room, gesturing toward the couch. “Take off your bag and get comfy. I’ll grab some water.”

She nodded silently, sinking into the plush cushions. The cozy, rustic vibe of your apartment seemed to ease some of the tension in her shoulders. She glanced around, her gaze lingering on the lavender-scented candle burning on the coffee table.

When you returned, you knelt in front of her, setting down a bowl of cold, soapy water and soaking a rag in it. Taking her hand gently, you began cleaning the blood from her knuckles.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

Yujin stiffened slightly, her jaw clenching. “You think I regret it?”

You looked up, meeting her intense gaze. “That’s not what I meant. I just… I don’t want you getting hurt because of someone like her.”

Her expression softened, and she let out a quiet sigh. “I can take care of myself, but… thanks. For looking out for me.”

You smiled faintly, brushing a thumb over her hand as you finished cleaning her wounds. “Someone has to.”

Yujin leaned back, her lips curving into a small smile. “You’re pretty good at it.”

“Well, don’t make it a habit,” you teased, standing up and placing the bowl aside.

She grabbed your wrist before you could move away, pulling you down onto the couch beside her. The warmth of her hand lingered as she spoke softly, “I’ll try not to, but only if you promise to keep being my favorite nurse.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. “Deal.”

The tension from earlier seemed to dissipate entirely as you sat there, your laughter filling the room once again.

Taglist: ⟪𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽⟫

@lorenztired @1luvkarina @yuyuy90 @uchizana

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erideights · 2 years ago

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Little pieces here and there (5)

Pairing: Buggy x Fem!Reader (One Piece Live Action)

Chapters: one, two, three, four

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: light flirting, light metion of sex, a lot of feelings, super fluff (in their particular way)

A/N: I'M BACK WITH THE NEW AND LAST (????) CHAPTER OF THE SERIES AFTER AN HIATUS WEEK. I wanted to post something good, something beautiful, true to the characters and the story you all enjoyed reading as much as i writing! (sorry for the possible grammatical mistakes!)

Side note: this chapter is to be read with different time frames, so changing the lights of the room and their resting positions in bed!

"Say it."

"Nope."

"Why not!?" he whines, his beautiful dove eyes pleading. "C'mon baby. Say it. I deserve it. All the awards. All the honors." The fact he’s beneath her, trapped between her body and the mattress, doesn't help make him look less submissive. She has to admit, it’s extremely pleasant to see how his dignified ass drags himself for her.

"But it would be a lie," she says, sticking out her tongue in a gesture intended to make him suffer a little more. Unbelievable that this is the same man who forced her to beg for sex a couple of hours ago. "and I’m no liar."

''Didn't seem like a lie to me when you were moaning my name and cumming on my cock for the third time some minutes ago.'' Ah, there it is, his ego is back again. Or at least, a glimpse of it. Took a while to appear.

In front of him, (Y/N) just smiles devilishly, which makes Buggy growl and look at her with pleading eyes again. "Look, we already established I know and even like how you need to play difficult, it's part of your charisma, but I need to hear it, okay? I will give you anything your wayward, fussy heart could desire. Consider it a prize."

''Anything?''

''Anything.''

Hmm. She plays along, and pretends to think about it for long, torturous seconds, shaking her head from side to side in slowmo, taking a deep breath.

As expected, soon enough she decides to give in-- she’s satisfied after making him beg in her own particular way.

''Fine.'' She takes a breath and starts her dramatic performance, with one hand on her own chest, eyes closed. ''Oh, Buggy, you were right, you are the best lover I’ve ever had, thanks to you my soul has ascended and I have seen the One Piece.''

That is not the praise he was expecting about his sexual skills. Not even close. But was so /him/, so dramatic, exaggerated, and incredibly hilarious, that despite faking offense on his face, eyes half-closed, lips pressed together, fingers pinching her hips as punishment, he has to admit -he will not-, was funny.

''You're a moron'' That’s about everything he has to say on the matter.

‘’Like Ol’Axe-Hand?’’ She asks, raising an eyebrow, hoping he gets it. And of course he does. He's so surprised that he widens his eyes, smirking. Is she actually admitting how incredibly funny he is? ''You still remember that joke?''

''Was so bad it stuck with me since then like a fucking nightmare.'' Hit and sunk.

''Ouch''

"Don't worry, there's still time to improve the quality of your jokes. But for now I'll take the prize you promised.''

''Ugh, fine. What do you want?’' Buggy thinks he knows (Y/N), so he’s convinced she will ask for something impossible. A challenge that will ridicule him or an astronomical sum of money. ''If what you want are berries I’m sorry to inform you, sunshine, I'm broke, I still have to find...'' but the clown shuts himself when he feels the girl's fingers slowly caressing his sharp jaw, finally pulling him by his chin towards her. He leans in too, eyes fixed on her lips, yearning for the kiss he can see so clearly written in the dreamy way she looks at him.

There’s no need to announce it, nor to start it with their usual flirting or provocations. It's slow and doesn't demand anything at all, nor is intended to be the trigger of their next round.

It's just a kiss. Something so simple and intrinsically complex at the same time. And in the same way as if it had been the most fiery and passionate of his life, as not long ago, this kiss leaves him breathless, unable to form a single coherent thought that has nothing to do with her.

Oh, he’s down bad. Just like she is.

…

And there they are on the mattress, she’s sitting on his lap, legs around him, his hands on her hips, hers on his abdomen in a relaxed pose. The scene is typical of two lovers who have known each other for a lifetime -or at least for years- and not of two people who just had the wildest sex of their lives less than a couple hours ago. For the first time.

They tell each other anecdotes, surreal stories, and laugh together inside that little bubble they don't even know how it was created, where it came from, or how the hell it could have absorbed them so much, making them completely ignore the outside world.

"What do you mean a giant bird!?" she screams in laughter, her stomach hurting, her lungs burning. "Aha, yeah, laugh all you want but imagine thinking that you’re about to die turned into damn bird feed. It would fucking piss me off."

As it can’t be otherwise, (Y/N) ends up laughing until she cries with the story of how Buggy arrived at Loguetown, and the clown finds himself exaggerating his story more and more with each laugh he manages to get from the girl, eager to hear it again, knowing he’s the only cause of this beautiful melody.

It’s absurd how he would love -kill- to know more about her, ‘cause if he stops to think about it, he doesn't know this woman at all. He knows nothing beyond her name, her crew, and the fact that she has a bold sense of humor. She’s brave and sarcastic, keen, sharp, and much more intelligent and savvy than -in his opinion- all the idiots around her.

And this is how and when he realizes the post-nut clarity theory hasn't worked for him. Getting her out of his twisted mind will not be as easy as fucking her a couple times, get his needed ton of personal satisfaction from making her beg for him, and moving on to the next thing to do/achieve on his list.

Goddamnhim.

"Alright, as much as I love and enjoy being the main character, it's time for you to drop your femme fatale facade and show me who you truly are."

"Awh,’’ she smiles tenderly, reaching for one of his cheeks. ‘’you see me like a femme fatale? That's so cute."

"Cut the crap.’’ The clown slaps her hand away, not in a violent way, but offended. ‘’You're not easily intimidated and I noticed you're good with knives too. That's sexy, and it makes me curious as hell about what you did before you joined those shitty heads."

Fair enough, she would be curious too, so she thinks about it, a bit wary of talking about her private life because there is a part of her that prefers to keep it intact -in case she wants to come back to it-. However, she reasons, mentioning what she did without being very specific doesn’t reveal anything at all. It would piss her off if Buggy casually knows her mercenary name -by which she’s fairly known among marines and pirates alike- and connects some dots all of a sudden.

Is he actually that smart?

"I was a mercenary." She says calmly, shrugging her shoulders. "With that angelic face?" He retorts in disbelief, raising both eyebrows, even though he knows it fits her personality just right. "You'd be surprised what you're capable of with it."

"No, no, I actually believe you." He cracks an amused smile, looking directly into her eyes after carefully scanning her face. ''I mean, If someone like you tried to sneak onto my ship I would know it’s a trap, either to kill me or to steal from me but I would end up saying ''whatever you say beautiful'' and would actually let you do your thing.''

He's an idiot but still, once again, he manages to make her laugh. “Looking like that, anyone would give you anything,” he adds because he is, in fact and undoubtedly, willing to give her a little more of himself. More time and more attention, because he should definitely be out there gathering his crew -only God knows what they'll be doing- and figuring out how to get to the Grand Line without a damn map.

The idea of asking her, or even suggesting she steals it for him, doesn't even cross his mind. Not even after having shared this /intimate/ afternoon together. He knows she won't do it, she doesn’t own him shit, she’s not one of these women who fall in love and suddenly do everything, and leave everything behind, for the man of their dreams.

And of course Buggy can see the way she looks at him, without an ounce of contempt or distaste for his extravagant appearance or the atrocities he's sure she knows he's committed and of which he's not one bit ashamed. She sees him as he is and still, she’s here, offering him back something as valuable as her time and company.

But she won't give him more, he is aware of that. That's why he didn't offer (Y/N) to run away with him when he escaped from Arlong Park, because as much as she enjoys his company and maybe, just maybe, the clown imagines, feels something for him, he has the impression she’s a disgustingly loyal person, to her principles and her people, and as much as she likes to flirt with him, she would have said no.

He must admit, that's also how he likes her. Strong, capable, independent. He would kill no matter who to have her by his side as part of his crew, although he knows it won't happen. He would settle, however, with the -hypothetical- opportunity to meet from time to time on the high seas or on any random island. To sneak away from their crews in secret, to disappear for a few hours in which all his attention, his entire being, could focus on her, lower the curtain just a little, leave the spotlight behind and relax.

There is a small part of him, the one that makes him unable to stop looking intensely at her with those blue eyes that mirrors his own soul, that truly hopes she feels the same.

…

''You know'' she starts, absently stroking his hair, the clown's head in her lap. ''I imagine-- no, I know the whole nose topic is a sensitive thing for you but honestly, it shouldn't-- big noses are incredibly attractive, and yours? Believe me, anyone would want to sit on it.’’

What.

He's so taken aback by the suddenness of the comment he completely forgets what they were talking about before and on top of that, he's unable to reply for some seconds, looking at her like she just started speaking in another, incomprehensible language.

He ends up raising an eyebrow, running his tongue over his red lips. ''Including you?''

''Including me''

''Well, sunshine, today's your lucky day then'' Sitting up, in a blink of her eyes he turns, catches the girl's hips and drags her with him, lying down, leaving her sitting on his chest while he rest his head on the pillow. Buggy winks at her, licking his lips again, this time cheekily rather than thoughtfully. “I’m about to make another one of your dreams come true.”

''Horny bastard.'' she whispers, swallowing saliva. What a view, having him between her legs again. ''Never denied, sweetheart'' with a low, erotic, and breathtaking laugh, he surrounds both her thighs with his arms and pulls her body up in a quick movement, causing a sudden brush of his nose against the inside of her thigh.

(Y/N) shudders and takes a deep breath, spreading her legs a little further as she settles them on the pillow. ''Show me what else you can do, captain.'' To that he just groans, already getting hard with just having her on top of his face and her way of talking to him, pushing his buttons just the right way.

In no time she’s a complete, total, and absolute mess, writhing with pleasure. Hands grabbing his hair, hips rocking over his mouth, forcing his nose to rub against her clitoris, she softly moans his name, an occasional insult or any other possible blasphemy.

''Oh, fuck-- Buggy.''

…

Worn off makeup all around her body, sun setting, long hours spent together in which they have told funny, long stories about each other's life and of course, in which they have ended up letting free -once again- that suffocating sexual tension that attracts them to the other like a month to a lamp. Buggy, surprisingly, ends up letting his guard down to the point where he falls asleep, and not long after, he starts snoring.

(Y/N) knows, it's time to leave and look for her friends. She also knows she warned them about her obsession with the city and that the chances of her getting lost were high, and in that case they should not worry about her, blablabla, because she would come back sooner or later. She didn’t even remotely expect the reason for her disappearance would be a self-declared enemy -Luffy’s enemy- of her crew, tho. Neither was she going to spend so much time away from them to be with him.

The excuses she will need to cover her tracks are endless, and a pain in the ass without even started to think about them yet.

Will Zoro still be lost somewhere on the island? Because she obviously assumed, he got lost as soon as they split.

Still in bed, she takes a moment to calmly look at him. (Y/N) is aware of how this may be the last time they ever see each other, and -not- surprisingly, this thought sparks a pang of sadness in her. She really likes him. She wouldn't say she is in love with him, because those are big words and they barely know each other yet, but... he was right, the chemistry between the two was something impossible to deny. And it hasn't weakened, nor disappeared a single bit after sex. Quite the opposite-- It has become something more, a kind of deep and sincere fondness that in this precise moment, dark outside, distant voices over the window from drunkards and bastards around the streets, his breathing calm for a fraction of second, his eyes closed and the fresh breeze that enters the room, invites her to caress his blue hair while he sleeps, sighing.

It’s been a long, long time since (Y/N)’d enjoyed this kind of genuine, absolute peace, sharing with someone she cares about, a room where time does not exist and life is just a thought instead of reality.

Part of her wishes or better said, acknowledges, she would stay here the entire night if she could. The other says that’s ridiculous, and that those are her hormones talking and nothing else. It would pass.

But does she want it to pass? To fade away?

Finally getting out of bed -all her willpower at once- after long minutes in which she simply memorizes every possible detail around her, she begins to retrieve her clothes scattered throughout the room and get dressed in silence, trying not to wake him up.

Through all this process, in the depths of her head resonates a single thought, ringing as loud and strong as an alarm. She’s unable to shut it up. She can’t ignore it either. It's another kind of thought she shouldn't have, and at the same time… feels so natural, so logical, she doesn't feel guilty for having it.

But should she listen to it? Should she follow it?

Taking a seat in the chair that fulfilled its great purpose a few hours ago, she sighs, again, head resting on her hand, elbow on the table. With a small smile, her eyes fall back on that ridiculous, snoring clown. And then, she just knows.

Reaching to a little secret pocket in her pants, she takes out a small piece of folded paper and starts to open it slowly, being careful to not tear it apart, leaving it on the table of the room once the copy of the map of the Grand Line can be perfectly seen. When (Y/N) suggested her crew make a couple of copies in case something happened to the original, she never thought she would use hers like this, but she doesn't regret it in the slightest.

Biting the tip of her tongue, her eyes scan the partially darkened room, jumping from side to side. When she finally finds what she was looking for, she leans over the table, and taking the pen from the inkwell, she writes in the upper right corner of the map "I will be waiting for you right here, come find me" .

If someone asked her why she does this, why she feels this, why does she decide to ignore her common sense and give something so important to someone as -objectively- miserable as him, she would simply answer that there are things… or better said-- not things, but the little pieces here and there, pieces of himself left in her during conversations, shared glances, laughter, flirts, light touches and the deep strong ones that came after those. It's the way he tried to make her laugh at all costs or how he didn't give up trying to win her over. Those blue eyes so intense she would swear, they reached her soul, or the small, genuine smile she knows she has seen this same afternoon, really far from the forced, crooked, exaggerated ones he usually has.

It is all of this and much more, and opening the door of the room, closing it again so that no one disturbs Buggy while she escapes the building and heads to her ship to find her crew, she knows she can't wait to see him again.

She knows she will. Her sixth sense tells her so.

#the gif is an spoiler of the morning after #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #buggy the clown fanfiction #buggy x you #op buggy #one piece live action #one piece x reader #captain buggy #buggy x reader

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anadrym · 4 months ago

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Extended Author's Notes for Left Behind Ch9.

Spoilers!

Chapter title is from "Never Be The Same" by Red. One of my favorite love songs, and something I listened to a lot during my depressed high school years.

We are now in the second document I have for this fic (the first one got really slow after Ch8). Also, this is now the longest fic I've ever written. :)

Gotta say: I have so many emotions about this chapter that I hardly know where to even start.

Vi is taking such a leap of faith here. Her mind is absolutely scrambled. She's almost certain that she recognizes Caitlyn, but she can't remember more than that. She's risking everything in the hope that she's right about their connection, and she's trusting that Caitlyn won't betray her to the Baroness.

And Caitlyn... God, just imagine gathering up the courage to finally lay your loved one to rest and then they tell you that they're still alive. No wonder she completely breaks down. She's not even sure she believes it at first, which is why she stops short of touching Vi's face - she's terrified that it's not real.

And then Vi closes the gap. Even though no one has touched her with kindness for five years, Vi crosses those last few centimeters. I'm ill.

And as soon as Caitlyn realizes that she's not imagining this, that Vi is really in front of her and really Vi, she's all in. Both hands supporting her partner, catching her as she collapses, holding her as they both break. FUCK, I love this chapter.

One of the things that really got me hooked on these two was the way they touch each other, so I really try to focus on that in my fics. It works especially well here because they can't use words (at least, not from Vi's POV), so everything has to be communicated through touch. Also, I absolutely love how deadly these two can be, but they're still so soft around each other.

What was Caitlyn whispering over and over again? I actually never decided. I was leaning towards "You're alive/here" or just Vi's name, but one of you put forth "I'm sorry" and I like that too. Feel free to let me know what you thought, but it should be something incredibly heart-wrenching.

So. In terms of what words Vi can understand. I've been trying to think of it like when you're learning another language. When someone speaks at a regular pace, you might be able to pick out a few more distinct words, but have trouble with interpreting the whole sentence. However, if certain terms had been used around you for five years and you were punished for not obeying them, you'd learn very quickly to recognize them. That's why "get up" sends Vi into a panic.

Oh, Caitlyn. Always the detective. Realizing that Vi can't understand her words and switching to gestures. Realizing that the bruises on her arms and neck are from the injections. Trying to get as much information as she can about what's being done to her partner.

Vi is cold, but the injection sites are warm from swelling and irritation. Caitlyn reaches up to check if Vi has a fever, but stops short when she remembers to ask for permission to touch her. She's trying to give her partner as much autonomy as she can.

Vi realizes that Cait is trying to get information about the injection sites and guides her hands to the ones on her legs, which Cait didn't know about.

Also! Vi, even in this state, comforting Cait on instinct by rubbing her thumb over Caitlyn's knuckles. They're going to be the death of me, I swear.

Cait is about to tell Vi to "lie down" but stops herself when she realizes that saying "down" would probably be a very bad idea.

The ring triggers Vi to remember just as Cait kisses her forehead, that's how she recalls her name. It's still going to be a bit before Vi gets her own name back (though I personally think it'll be worth the wait).

Yeah, Caitlyn absolutely whispers, "I love you" as Vi drifts off. :')

Is Cait going to unreasonably blame herself for taking actions that made sense at the time with what information she had? Yes. Yes, she is.

The part about Cait realizing that she almost killed Vi and that Vi would've been aware during it was greatly influenced by your comments on Ch8. I hadn't really focused on it much before y'all pointed it out.

And again, always the detective. Putting the pieces together even when she doesn't want to, even when it makes her feel even more guilt. :(

Vi's malnourishment is important. It's the clue Caitlyn needs in the next chapter.

There's just something about two broken people who have been turned into weapons (whether by their own choice or not) finally becoming people again because they found each other.

When Vi wakes up and Caitlyn smiles (first time in how long?), Vi looks down at her parted lips and sees the gap between Caitlyn's front teeth, the same one she remembered right before the last Maintenance session.

Caitlyn trying not to overwhelm/overstimulate Vi by touching her, and then Vi immediately throwing herself into the touch? Vi is so physically affectionate, and she's been desperately craving this for years.

We will deal with Cait's guilt, but not for a bit. Right now the focus has to be on getting the fuck out of there.

God, it is so exciting when you guys speculate on future chapters and are right. It means I'm setting up the story well (take that, anti-spoiler culture)

Teaser for next week:

"I want her again tonight."

The Baroness leans back in her chair, a sly smile slowly curling her lips. "I'm inclined to grant you that. But first, you have to earn it."

#my writing #extended author's notes #all the things we left behind #left behind

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soupthatistohot · 5 months ago

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Character Study: Chuuya Nakahara's Stubborn Refusal to Give Up

Guys its time for me to get back on my little soapbox... and of course it's gotta be Chuuya that I talk abt after being basically inactive in the BSD fandom since the summer.

I haven't read any of it yet, but I'm aware that a Stormbringer manga is currently releasing chapters, and as such, I felt it appropriate to share my thoughts on Chuuya and the story that takes place in the LN, which was one of the major things that made me fall in love both with BSD and Chuuya as a character. So, needless to say, Stormbringer spoilers ahead!!

I will also preface this by saying that I originally read Stormbringer in April of 2022, so it's been a hot minute! If I get things wrong or leave something important out, please let me know!

Put simply, Stormbringer is Chuuya's personal hell. The people he cares most about gets murdered by this guy claiming to be his brother, his entire identity is brought into question by said guy, he's losing control of his ability (which I'll remind you was what he previously centered his identity around when with the Sheep), and all the while Dazai is being Dazai (AKA really annoying).

And Chuuya is only sixteen years old.

Speaking of Dazai, can we marvel for a second that Chuuya hasn't turned out more like him? Given everything we know about his backstory, it would make perfect sense if Chuuya were cynical in the way that led him down a path of self-destruction. And I'm not saying that he's not above such tendencies, but he's not actively suicidal in the way Dazai is. In fact, he resents Dazai's outlook on things and actively tries to differentiate himself, even if deep-down, he knows there's a part of him that might be a bit... depressed.

I'll bring up here the scene in SB where he hallucinates Dazai teasing him whilst being tortured -- Dazai, in a sense, reflects Chuuya's inner thoughts at that point. Internally, he harbors the insecurity that he and Dazai are similar (inhuman), which he cannot allow himself to truly entertain. But he feels it sometimes, that hopelessness, that depression. Chuuya is certainly a cynic, a kid who has seen the worst of the world, but the main difference between him and Dazai is that he refuses to give in, and that's actually a pretty big difference.

(I will note here that I'm primarily using the description of Dazai as he existed in the Port Mafia. In the present day, things are quite different, as that version Dazai is characterized by his choice at least try to live, if not only to fulfill his promise to Oda. Yet, even in the present, he still regularly attempts to kill himself, so he's not fully on the "continue living in spite of it all" bandwagon, but rather, he's kinda tied to the back of it being, dragged in the dirt, even though he could untie the knot at any moment and plunge into oblivion. (Sorry got carried away with that metaphor.))

But back to Chuuya! As previously stated, he quite frankly has every reason to just not care -- about the people around him, about Yokohama, even about the world -- and yet, he does care, and very deeply, even if he's not always overt about it.

After the Sheep betray him, he effectively has nobody. Rather than join the PM, he could've gone off to die in a ditch, and no one would have really cared all that much. And even when he joins the PM he asked them to protect the Sheep when he could have easily left them to their own devices. He cares about them, even when all logic says he really shouldn't, and there's really something rebellious about that. I will say that this example is the most wishy-washy, as Chuuya was very much manipulated by Dazai and Mori into joining the PM, to the point where he basically had no choice.

But that informs a lot of his decisions in SB, as the story basically kicks off with him acting outside of Mori's jurisdiction. He knows that he shouldn't be looking into his past, and that Mori wouldn't be happy with his attempts to do so. But he's determined to not let the system get the best of him. Despite the odds, he finds a group of friends (arguably, a family) who are willing to help him with this and is determined to go forward with it. He's not really loyal to the PM at this time, either, acting on his own despite the danger.

And yeah, it was dangerous, because then the Flags all die. Even then, he doesn't give up, though. He's tempted by Verlaine on multiple occassions to basically forfeit his reason for being, accept that he's lines of code and not actually a human being. It's enticing, and Chuuya certainly entertains the idea, because wouldn't it just be so easy to just give into futility? If he's not a person, then why have qualms about morality? People? Life? He could become an unstoppable storm, destroy everything in his path, not care.

But that he refuses to do, as well. Even when given the ultimatum by Dazai to find out for sure if he's human or try to stop Verlaine from destroying Yokohama, he confidently chooses the latter. He realizes that the circumstances of his existence don't matter, and what does matter is what he does with this life he's been given. So he chooses to fight.

And he chooses to fight over and over again, even (and especially) when things are at their worst. Things will never be easy for Chuuya -- very often he and others he cares about are put in danger -- but what makes him Chuuya is that he will always push back against the forces that be, even if it means risking his life or partnering up with his god-awful ex-partner. To him, it is better to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all.

And here is where I'll bring up my favorite way of analyzing BSD: absurdism!

Everything I've described about Chuuya fits the absurdist philosophy, which this post provides a more in-depth description of. The long and short of it is that 1) life has no inherent meaning but 2) we must not give in, but instead revolt against absurdity. It is Chuuya's stubborn refusal to give in (whether thru suicide or becoming part of the system) that characterizes him as an absurdist to me.

Anyways, that's what I've got! I think I need to re-read Stormbringer (or keep up with the manga as it releases) because writing this made me realize that I really don't remember it as much as I thought.

Also, please respond with your own thoughts and ideas! I always want my posts to be a space for discussion, as I love engaging in conversation about this type of thing!

#chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd stormbringer #stormbringer #stormbringer manga #absurdism #bsd absurdism analysis

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crios31 · 11 months ago

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Chapter 5: Start of the internship

Length 2692 words

A new week begins and with it your internship. After waking up early, you just finish getting ready to go. Before leaving your bedroom, you take a look at the naked woman sleeping in your bed. That woman is Minji, following your meeting she stayed over for the weekend during which you got better acquainted with her when you were not having sex. Not wanting to wake her up you silently go to your kitchen to leave a note for her on the counter. Then you take your bag and phone and leave your apartment.

Exiting your apartment complex, you enter the closest subway station for a ride to your destination. Once you are back out in the street, you walk the rest of the way finally arriving in front of Eros’s group building. Overall, the commute took you a little over thirty minutes and was fairly comfortable because you came quite early and avoided rush hour. You take a moment to look at the building. The brand new edifice looks quite good, from memory the construction ended less than a year ago.

After entering the building, you approach a middle-aged man waiting beside the elevator.

“Hello, are you Manager Lee?”

“Yes, and you must be our new intern?”

“You’re right, nice to meet you.” You answer with a smile.

“Likewise.” He says as you shake hands. “Let's go to the director’s office, it'll be a better place to talk.”

You follow him taking the elevator to one of the middle floors, crossing an open space where only one employee has started to work. He stops in front of a closed door, a few moments after Manager Lee knocks on the door you hear a man's voice saying you can enter.

Inside the office, a man of similar age as Manager Lee gets up from behind his desk to salute you. “Finally we are meeting. I’m director Park, I heard a lot about you from your parents.”

“Good things I hope.” You shake his hand. “Does Manager Lee know?”

“Oh yes, don’t worry, he is also acquainted with your parents so you can speak freely with us.” He walks back behind his desk to sit. “You can also call us Mr. Lee and Mr. Park at work.”

“And when it’s just us like now or outside of work but only in private settings, you can use ahjussi.” Pursues Mr. Lee.

“I understand, after all it would be suspicious for the employees that the new intern to address both of you like that, even more so because I’m a foreigner. Is there someone else that knows about me?”

“In the company except the both of us, no one should know.” You see him frowning as he continues. “But before we moved into those new premises I got to replace the previous director and he knows who you are. While only the director of operations, he was temporarily in charge of the group for your parents, and it should have stayed like that until the day you become the CEO. There are two ways for someone to know your identity. The first is one of us disclosing it and the second is if someone seeks information from the ex-Director about you, which is very unlikely.” Answers Director Park.

“Could you explain why the replacement happened?”

“Yeah, it’s necessary for you to know.” He sighed. “After all, one of the tasks we will give you is linked to this. So at that time I was the manager and Mr. Lee, who was the assistant manager of this department, reported to me something strange.”

“Some of our results from the previous years seemed odd to me.” Start to explain Mr. Lee. “Acquiring business or winning a call for tenders too easily when there should have been a dire competition. And in contrast losing when it should have been a piece of cake. Of course, it could happen once in a while. But repeatedly? No, there was clearly something wrong. So I reported it and the both of us began to look deeper into it.”

“And we found something, most of the incident happened when a particular company was involved with the most flagrant example being that as we just finished developing a new product this company released one almost identical to ours they released a product almost identical to it. So we investigated this company and to our surprise we discovered that our director had private meetings with them regularly. We were unable to uncover more, so we passed on all our findings to your father who has far more means than us.

“Knowing how much money my parents put into creating this company I can imagine how much they were pissed.” You comment.

“Oh they were pissed. Around two weeks after that he contacted us to share his results. The previous director had for exemple, sold information from the company, and had taken bribes to make some of our projects or investments fail. Your father's instruction was for us to keep quiet until the lawyer came to resolve that mess. We didn’t have to wait a lot. When she came, she showed a significant amount of evidence of his misdeeds to all the higher-ups. In conclusion, he was obviously fired while we were both promoted.”

“Only fired? No lawsuit against him or the other companies” You question with surprise.

“No, the parties involved in this have done their best to cover up this matter but in exchange we got a hefty sum of money, which was the best outcome to compensate for some of our losses. As for the ex-Director your father made sure that he will be blacklisted”

“Well if it was the best conclusion possible, that’s good.” You reply smiling.

“It was, now let’s talk about your tasks. You will have two of them, the first one is connected to what we just explained. The director couldn’t have done everything by himself, which means he had an accomplice. While we are investigating from the top of the company we want you to do the same from your side. Furthermore, because you’re an intern, the accomplice wouldn’t expect you to help us so he may be more careless toward you.”

“Do you have a lead concerning someone in particular?” You ask, intrigued.

“Unfortunately no. But we are sure that the accomplice is working on this floor.”

“Alright I’ll be watchful for possible clues.”

“As for your second task, it was given by your father. After the first month of your internship so you could get used to the work, you’ll have to find a business project to invest in with your own money. Once you make your decision, you’ll have to support its development during your time at university. Don’t worry you’ll only have to pick from projects we’ll both have screened beforehand.”

“I see, that’s a good opportunity for me to gain practical experience. I may ask you for advice if you don’t mind?”

“It’s fine, also those of the program working for you are allowed to help.”

“Wait! You know about that?” You slightly raise your voice in surprise.

“We’ve known about the program for quite some time. Moreover our daughters are in it because of the benefits of their education.” He hardens his gaze toward you. “And they are exempt from the selection thingy so be careful.” You see from the corner of your eyes Mr. Lee nodding at his words.

Following Director Park’s warning the discussion concludes soon after. You leave the director’s office along with Manager Lee, as he guides you toward your desk you notice that most of the employees have arrived while you were having the meeting. Mr. Lee stops beside a desk occupied by a young woman with short blonde hair.

“Good morning, Miss Park. I’d like to introduce you to our new intern.” He says putting a hand on your shoulder, he then lets you and Miss Park greet each other. “So as agreed last week you’ll be in charge of him until further notice. If you need some guidance my door is open.”

“Thanks, if the need arises I won’t hesitate.” Replies the young woman. Manager Lee then leaves the both of you to go to his office.

Miss Park gives a few taps on the desk next to her. “This will be your desk.” You approach it, putting your bag and you start to arrange it to your convenience under her gaze. “So did the manager show you around the company earlier?”

“No, he directly brought me to you after our talk.”

“Alright, I’ll give you a tour then!” You stop what you were doing as you see her quickly standing up. “So starting with this floor, it is shared by two departments, ours and HR. The offices are only occupied by the managers and the director, while the rest of us are in the open space. Now let's go to the other floors.”

“It can wait or I can explore by myself when I have time, I don’t want to delay you in your work.”

“Don’t worry about that.” She smiles at you. “It’ll be fast, the upper half of the building isn’t occupied, Eros occupies a fourth of it as for the last fourth, it is rented by small companies.” She then walks behind you and puts her hands on your back as she starts pushing you toward the elevator. “Now let’s go, I won't repeat myself again.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” You tease, letting her pushing you.

“Hey! Don’t say that, I’m barely older than you!” She reprimands you. You turn your head in order to look at her face, but you stay silent. At this, her brows begin to frown. “What? Do you have something to say?”

“Hum… only admiring how pretty you are. I’m lucky to have such a beautiful woman in charge of me” Winking at her you then dash toward the elevator, surprised by your teasing she stays immobile for a moment. She joins you in front of the elevator when the doors open.

“You’re quite an impertinent one aren’t you?” You answer her with an amused smile. After going in the elevator, you hear Choa from the opposite corner whisper. “Cheeky intern.” Tilting your head to see more of her face you notice that the corner of her lips is raised.

A few moments later, Choa starts to guide you through the company, showing you the Finance Department and the authorized parts of the Research and Development Department which occupies multiple floors. During the tour, with Choa walking in front of you, you check her out. In particular, her attractive legs and butt. “This internship will be nice.” You murmur giving one last look.

After the visit you both return to your desks and for the rest of the morning Choa begins to show you her work, explaining step by step and answering your questions.

“Let’s stop there for now, it’s time for lunch.” States Choa, she then stands up waving her hand at someone in the open space. “A friend will join us to eat, give her a minute.”

Soon you see an attractive young woman approaching, she has long dark hair which contrasts with Choa’s.

“Hello you two.” She says with a smile

“Taeyeon, this is the intern. Intern, this Kim Tayeon, my friend.” Says Choa pointing at Taeyeon and you in succession. “With the presentation done, let’s eat.” After taking her bag she starts to walk leaving you both behind. Taeyeon and you look at each other with an awkward smile before following her.

Choa leads the three of you to a restaurant near the company’s building. During the meal, you answer the inquiries of a curious Choa while Taeyeon calmly listens for most of it, only partaking in the conversation a few times.

“If you don't have more questions, I’d like to learn more about you two if you don’t mind.”

“I’m fine with that.” Answers Taeyeon.

“Fine with me too. Taeyeon I’ll let you start.”

“Very well. I joined the company after graduation and for my work it’s similar to Choa but with some additional responsibilities.”

“What she doesn't say is that she is the best of the department, furthermore the Manager trusts her enough to let her lead big projects.”

“I’m the best for you, others don’t think the same.” Retorts Taeyeon.

“Well the Manager recognized your skills because you’re the only allowed to lead projects of this size alongside the Assistant-Manager. As for the other employees, it’s because the Assistant-Manager is jealous of you and they suck up to him.”

Hearing this makes Taeyeon sigh. “Don’t talk like that, only some follow him, the others just stay out of this.” She turns toward you. “Sorry you had to hear about this on your first day.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. Thanks for that, I know what to expect and won't be surprised with the work’s atmosphere. However, I would like to know one more thing. Will this situation affect me?”

“Not really. You are just an intern so the Assistant-Manager will ignore you except if it’s work-related. For those with him, they may try to pick on you though.”

“Oh, that could be interesting.” You say smirking.

“Don’t bother with them, they are pointless and let’s return to your question, it’s your turn to answer Choa.”

“Wait, but you say nothing about you outside of work.” Complains Choa.

“Because I think it was enough I gave him the relevant information concerning me for now.”

“Oh come on just one thing, he’s nice.”

“Alright… I like to stay at home on my day off. Is that enough?”

“Yeah, that’s okay. So concerning me, I'm the most recent recruit in this department and I’m also the youngest, beside you, obviously. You already know some of my tasks and I’ll show the rest later on. Moreover, sometimes I join projects' teams when Taeyeon is the leader. That should answer for the work-related side.” Resting her chin in her she asks you with a flirtatious smile. “What else do you want to know?”

“Hmm, let me think.” You reply as you lock eyes with Choa.

Watching the both of you in silence Taeyeon has a playful idea.“I know one thing about Choa that you would find very interesting.” Hearing this, you and Choa look at her respectively with curiosity and confusion. “Do you want to know?”

“Go on, I’m all ears.”

“You’ll be happy to know that Choa is single.”

“Oh is that right?”

“Eh! Why are you talking about that?” Replies an embarrassed Choa. Regaining her calm, she gives a side eye to Taeyeon when an idea to get back at her sprouts in her mind. “But Taeyeon, if I remember correctly, you are also single.”

“Ah yeah but I don’t think he will find this interesting.”

“You must be kidding? How can I not be interested to hear that not just one but two beautiful women are single! Moreover I have the pleasure to eat with them right now.”

“So you’re a charmer.” Chuckle with amusement Taeyeon. “Do you have a habit of complimenting others or are you trying to seduce us?

“I’m only stating the truth but I’m not against your second option if it’s working.” You wink at her as you finish your sentence.

“That just confirms it, we got a cheeky intern.” Says Choa slightly shaking her head.

“Cheeky intern? That’s a good nickname. I think the upcoming months will be entertaining.” She smiles expectantly. “Especially for you Choa, and I hope you will continue to tease her, it is amusing to watch.”

“Count on me then.”

“Betrayer, stop encouraging him!” Complains the younger woman

“Stop faking it, I saw you smiling.” Whisper Taeyeon in Choa’s ears. “Now lunch-break is almost finished, let's pay and go back.”

After leaving the restaurant, your group returns to the company. Back into the open space Taeyeon leaves the both of you to go to her own desk. For the rest of the day Choa continues to show you the ropes until it’s time for both of you to go home.

#m reader #male reader #aoa choa #park choa #snsd taeyeon #kim taeyeon #taeyeon

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