#so i went back to that autosave and did what needed to be done

[yo9urt]

i am the god of gaming

[twilightknight17]

Last night on P5T: We start the DLC at last, jet-set into a twister of nonsense, find mice instead of squids, and I freak out a bit over Satanael~

If you want to skip me ranting about the Velvet Room, scroll down to the big bold text. XD

Look at him. He’s beautiful. And he knows megidolaon!

But my Quest for Satanael, I feel, has exposed another flaw in this game. It’s not a problem if you’re just playing straight through, but if you’re my dumb ass and you want to finish the compendium/obtain Satanael/forge the best weapons, it starts to become an issue.

Fusion is expensive if you’re pulling things out of the compendium. You need personas of specific levels to fuse the weapons, and obviously the best weapons are very high level personas, which won’t drop during battle. Special fusions like Lucifer, Chi You, and Satanael have five or six components each. The cost can be mitigated some by using personas obtained during fights, but in that case, you lose skill options if you’re trying to pass on a specific one via fusion chain. (I can’t imagine trying to get a specific skill on a high-level persona in this game. Ugh. At least megidolaon was a base skill on one of Satanael’s ingredients.)

Which brings us to the actual issue: there’s… no good way to get money in this game.

Money is purely obtained from winning battles. There are no bits and bobs to sell, no money from releasing unneeded personas, nothing. Which means that if you are trying to raise enough money to pay for your multitude of weapons and high-level persons, you are going to be replaying prior battles.

A Lot.

The battles in the final kingdom give around 10K yen, from what I can tell. That can be boosted to around 18K if all three party members have a sub-persona with the “Easy Money” skill. In comparison, personas like Michael and Lucifer (components of Satanael), cost somewhere in the 20-25K range to call from the compendium. You need Michael to make Lucifer in the first place, so you’re going to have to summon him from the compendium at least once.

I don’t know if I did something wrong or inefficiently or what, but I spent the whole game feeling like I barely had enough money for the things I wanted. New weapons often broke the bank, and I wasn’t always using Easy Money because I wanted to actually take specific skills or personas into battle. By the time I was trying to get Satanael, I was basically grinding the same mission multiple times in a row because I knew I could finish it in the least number of turns. It's a little disheartening after unlocking all the endgame bonuses and tricks in Royal and racking up hundreds of thousands of yen in one go to spend on fusion.

That’s not even counting the fusion accidents. The first time I went to fuse Satan (also a component of Satanael), the forge exploded. That probably should have been my cue to start save-scumming, but I didn’t. I assumed that special fusions were immune to fusion accidents. They are not. I placed all of Satanael’s components in the forge and it exploded, wasting least 30K yen.

In hindsight, I probably could have loaded the autosave. But I honestly forgot that the autosave was happening. I always saved manually when I stopped and didn’t worry about anything else. But that’s not the point.

The point is that Satanael should not have been able to explode. X’D

(Side note: fusing Lucifer got a special animation. It’s the only one so far. Why just him???)

But yeah. My compendium still isn’t done, and I’m not even close to the best weapons. I kind of want to take them into merciless mode for NG+, so that means going back and grinding more. But not right now. Right now, we’re off to Spray Paint Land.

It’s time for DLC!

We begin this chilly November late afternoon/evening/whatever with more Quality Morgana Faces.

It has to be November, because Goro’s on the team at this point. Plain and simple. There’s literally only like a 3-week period this can take place in. Akira receives a text from Sumi that says she wants him to meet her in a nearby alley. I guess she was on her way to the cafe. But Morgana says that he knows when to mind his own business, and to call if Akira needs anything.

Call what phone, Mona? Are you gonna answer the cafe phone? Just admit you wanna nap.

Wait. Wait. Morgana. Wake up. The plot is happening. Wake up!

Well, I suppose that means Goro isn’t the artist. He wouldn't have had time while all the Okumura stuff was happening. All these sad mice, tho. Very strange. And isn’t Guernica the artist from Ib? I went on a classic RPGMaker horror kick a few weeks back. I’d watched Angels of Death a while ago and really liked it, and so I watched playthroughs of Ib and Mad Father for the first time. Ib was good, Mad Father was… mediocre, I think.

...oh. That’s Guertena. Neeeeeeevermind.

So, Sumi wants to show you a mural of Arsène being eaten by a giant rat. Which is… not what I was expecting the mural of Akira’s persona to look like. As they puzzle over how the hell a picture of Arsène ended up in a random alley in Yongen, Goro also shows up, ready to investigate.

…...I swear to god, Atlus, why is he the only one who you won’t call by his first name? Also, how is he here to investigate? How did he know about a random mural in the backstreets when everyone is busy paying attention to the giant one on the security building?

He asks if Sumi and Akira had anything to do with this mural, then laughs at Sumi when she gets all flustered by the question. They speculate on the artist’s motives for a bit, since Guernica’s identity is unknown, and then Akira hears a voice calling for the Phantom Thieves from inside the wall.

This made me laugh very hard for inside joke reasons, but Goro assures Sumi that there is no way that there is a person trapped in that wall.

But the mural starts to glow, Arsène disappears, and everything and all of us start getting sucked into the rat’s mouth. And I love and appreciate Sumi dearly, but… none of us are safe here, and you have had your persona for like a month. I should be protecting you.

Joker arrives in a spray-paint covered cityscape, and I already love this place. Holy shit the colors. We’re immediately thrown into a battle, and shooting the little dudes throws paint all over the ground around them. Hehehe. It’s like we’re in Splatoon or something.

...oh. I was joking. But we ARE in Splatoon!

When you’re standing on the enemy’s color, you can’t do anything. No attacks or skills. So there’s definitely an element of strategizing here. I really like it, even if I did die on my first attempt because I was figuring out how it all worked.

……Lavenza, I appreciate the classic literature, but you’re scaring me just a little. XDDDD

Anyway, Joker gets surrounded, the other two jump in to save him, and we get a minor pointing Spiderman meme of “wait, you have powers?” It’s also a little silly because Sumi’s idle stance is a constant pose. Your arms are gonna hurt.

Sumi clarifies to Goro what happened in the Palace when she awakened, and he’s just glad she can fight, even if she’s not formally a Phantom Thief. He clarifies that he is only sort of kind of a Phantom Thief for reasons that would take too long to go into.

...my dear, that is every situation involving these two.

But no, this is completely unrealistic. Goro would have at least a question or two about a random Palace that just spawned somewhere. If this game doesn’t imply that he asked something before January…….

They hear screaming, and a have their first encounter with a non-hostile denizen of this world, who collapses in Sumi’s arms, begs for help, and explodes into paint, leaving Sumi concerned and traumatized. X’D

Goro reminds her that these are cognitions, not even bothering to hide how confident he is in his knowledge about the metaverse, and the trio follows the continuing screams to a mouse massacre.

A crazed woman with a parrot is just gunning down vast amounts of cute mouse people. Paint is going everywhere. It’s insane. Even Goro is put off by the sight.

Meanwhile, Sumi refuses to stand for this and just goes right up to confront the problem.

The bird’s name is Jerri, and I had to message Po in the middle of this, because I was having a crisis.

I can’t unsee it. Help.

Anyway, this is Guernica, and she wants to paint the walls with our blood!

Fortunately, everyone is rescued by a mysterious hole opening up under us, and we meet our savior.

Well… one of us is.

This is Luca, and she’s so happy to see us, because she wants us to help Guernica. Apparently, she was different before Jerri showed up. She felt a kinship with the Phantom Thieves and their quest against corruption. Now, she has strange powers to "peer into people's hearts", and her art can… basically cause a variation of a psychotic breakdown.

Apparently her mental state is fucked because someone stole her Treasure (the first piece of art she ever made) and broke it into pieces. The memo section says, "She was driven to carnage by the theft of her heart's core, prompting her to go on killing sprees in the Metaverse." Which has some WILD implications that I doubt the game is gonna touch on. X’’’’D

Luka also takes us to see this world’s version of the Arsène mural, which is… gruesome? Like, there’s bones sticking out.

Apparently this art was Guernica’s last cry for help before she snapped completely. And she knows what Akira’s persona looked like because of that power to “peek into people’s hearts”. It’s a bit wobbly, but we’ll go with that for now.

Guernica’s “first statement” is in three pieces, so we’re off to retrieve the first one. And I love Luca already.

Jerri wants us to hand over Luca. I might have considered it if she didn’t call me a mop. She claims she’ll send us right home, but that sounds like bullshit.

Also, shoutout to Goro for using his “real” voice here. Time to get dangerous~

It’s nice to hear, because I actually find myself missing abrasive, snarky third-sem Goro compared to the Detective Prince.

This whole thing is such a wild vibe of Splatoon, TWEWY, and Jet Set Radio. The music is fun, the aesthetics are top-notch, and so far the levels have had that extra level of challenge of working with the paint mechanics. It’s really great.

Luka’s ability is creating “manholes” to warp from place to place, and Goro is quickly getting tired of having to jump down them. XD

Our hideout is basically down in the sewers. Luca fished new weapons out of the trash for us, and there’s no Velvet Room, so I guess we’re stuck with whatever sub-personas drop during the battle stages.

We get to have a fun conversation about bouldering, and I caught Goro blinking in the picture, but he actually looks genuinely surprised that you’d want to come try his hobby.

I love the mental image of the three of them going rock-climbing together.

And then, tragically, the Switch ran out of battery. But I’m loving it so far! This is a fun side-story, even if I am a little skeptical of how they’re going to justify everything when they get back to the real world. I’d need to go watch the beginning of January again, but I’d swear there was explicit dialogue that neither of them knew the other had powers beforehand.

Oh well. A thought for another day. Right now, we wonder what kind of disguised god named itself “Jerri”. XDDD

[whats-her-quirk]

could you do (angst) #7 'its okay to cry' for aizawa x female reader? could she have an ice quirk too :0

a/n: I think we’ve all been in y/n’s shoes at some point or another, so I’m turning this into an angsty comfort fic and you can’t stop me. But I snuck in the ice quirk just for you, anon. 

"It's ok to cry." x shouta aizawa

Today was the worst day. Nothing went right, and no matter how hard you tried to bounce back and deal with things, life knocked you down again and again, mercilessly. You’d forgotten to plug your phone in and overslept, meaning you looked terrible and were still ten minutes late for work, earning you a stern warning from your boss, who was a stickler about those kinds of things. You had to drink stale office coffee, which someone bumped into you and spilled on your shirt. Well, you couldn’t look any worse, right?

Your computer crashed in the middle of typing up a long report, all of your work lost in the process because the ancient program you had to use didn’t autosave. You blamed yourself, of course, for forgetting to click the little floppy disc icon every now and again, and started over. You had to work through lunch to get it done.

The heel of your shoe snapped off while you were running to catch the train, tossing you onto the tile floor of the station, your knee banging directly against the leg of a metal bench in the passageway. Not only did it hurt like hell, but you were embarrassed as people tried to help you up, offering to call a doctor if you were seriously hurt. You waved them off and walked unevenly, for now one of your shoes was much taller than the other, onto the train, which got stuck on the platform for an extra fifteen minutes because of a delay.

All you wanted to do was go home, eat something, and crawl into bed until Shouta got home. You just needed a break, and you could start fresh tomorrow. You could get through this day. You were so stressed, however, that you didn’t notice yourself activating your freezing quirk through your hand, freezing your key solid. When you turned it in the lock, it snapped off inside.

You didn’t keep a spare outside because Shouta swore it wasn’t safe. You ran around the perimeter of the house, trying the back door and every window you could reach, but none would budge. So you threw down your keychain and burst into tears next to the front door. Starving, sore, and locked out of your own house, you slid down the siding on the front of the building and curled up with your head on your knees and sobbed.

You lost track of time sitting there, wallowing in all of the ways the world was out to get you that day, but when you heard footsteps coming toward you, you looked up in a panic before realizing it was just Shouta. “What happened?” he asked, but you couldn’t answer; between the look on his face and the hurt in his voice for you and your bruised-up leg, you sobbed heavily as you pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes.

Shouta dropped to the floor beside you, gathering you up in his arms and petting your hair with shaking hands. “What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you? Please, sweetheart, just tell me.” His lips were pressed against your forehead as he spoke, worried sick at what put you in this state, and while part of you appreciated his concern, the other part just felt stupider because of it.

“No, it was… a bunch of dumb little things. I just had a horrible, horrible day. I’m such an idiot,” you sobbed against his chest.

Shouta pulled you closer. “No, baby. It's ok to cry."

And you did for several more minutes until your eyes were just too tired to cry anymore.

Shouta put a finger to your chin, tilting your eyes up to meet his. “Any reason why you’re sitting out on the porch this late at night?” he asked sincerely.

“My key broke in the lock. I couldn’t get in.”

Shouta chuckled. “Well, you know how I am about locking the doors and windows. At least we know now that it works. Come on,” he said, standing up and holding out his hand to help you up. “I’ll go unlock the back door, we’ll call a locksmith, and you can tell me the whole story.”

You nodded and took his hand, feeling safe as he pulled you to your feet and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. Your eyes were red and puffy, and you still felt a little dumb, but you could never repay Shouta for giving you a shoulder to cry on when you needed it most.

[fish-plz]

i have many thoughts about legend of zelda breath of the wild and i need to tell someone so…. lets go!!!

so a thing you need to know about me was i got to legend of zelda botw very late like a year after it came out i had only played 1 zelda game before and i couldnt even read then. i dont even know what game it was it had navi and pirate zelda in it was on my ds it was 3d (not great tho) it had a link that looked sorta looked like this

and the bit after the cut scene was an island that had an old man that lived in a cave and im pretty sure the island fitted on the whole screen of the 3ds. i thought it was phantom hourglass for a bit but i did buy phantom hourglass but the island is different idek. If anyone knows what game that is it would be very appreciated if you could tell me.

Anyway i got side tracked i played botw for the first time and didnt even make it off the plateau and decided i didnt like it, Which i told the friend that i originally bought botw just so i could talk about it with him ( also bcs i thought you could play as zelda but that was just a mod) that now greatly embarrasses me bcs its in my top 5 games easily.

Many months later i started playing it again bcs i felt a bit like i wasted my money bcs it was very expensive and i didnt really play that much and i loved it i played it in all my free time for a couple days until i got to my first divine beast vah ruta and i got stuck but a few weeks later i went on holiday and took my switch and i spent a while and i figured it out did the boss fight and…. died in two hits.

So when i got home i grinded and actually did shrines beat waterblight ganon and then for the next few weeks I played everyday for a few hours. I had all but finished the main story. I was ready to fight ganon and kept failing bcs i didnt have the hyllian shield and i didnt know how to reflect guardian blasts but finally i defeated ganon.

By the time i had done this it was late at night i had spent my whole afternoon learning this fight and i was so excited to play the postgame tomorrow and after the zelda cutscene it threw me back out to the menu and I PANICKED i thought my saved game corrupted but it was there but the save was before the ganon fight and i had a little star next to my save.

i did some googling and found out there is no post game THERE IS NO POST GAME. This was wild to me every game i had ever played like like legend of zelda had a post game why would there be no post game it did not make sense to me i was screaming i was so angry bcs i was thinking the whole time whilst playing i cant wait for the post game i cant wait to hang out with zelda shes so fun and i cant wait to casually galavant around hyrule and maybe theyll be quests where we rebuild the castle that would be so cool to see. But there was no post game. i vowed never to play the game again it had disappointed me so much i just couldnt face it.

The next day i booted up botw and went around thinking of things i could do i finally settled on doing all the shrines. which has been a casual goal for me over the past few months picking up botw just to relax and ride my horse and slowly work at doing all the shrines.

Today i finally did it. i dont have a favourite shrine bcs most of them where pretty painful bcs i am small brain and forget about cryonis magnesis etc but my two least favourites where the shrine quest when you have to stand naked on a blood moon cause there is no way to summon a blood moon for definite and the window is only an hour in game and the fastest route i could find was 55 in game minutes which means if you fumble for five seconds irl you miss your window.

this was particularly frustrating for me bcs i kept sleeping through my blood moons and i also tped to the wrong shrine and missed the window by going a sub optimal route and had to reload an autosave that undid a couple sidequests which was annoying.

and the other one was technicallly two in duelling peaks i think where you have to copy the patterns between the two shrines. It just wasnt fun i just ended up pulling up pictures on my phone and essentially cheating bcs it was so annoying.

one thing i said id never do is all korok seeds it just seemed so depressing to even consider bcs 900 of them. i am 140 koroks in and i am finally getting to the point i wanted to talk about

THIS KOROK IS THE WORST I HATE IT

i keeping picking the wrong apple and then the tree got hit by lightening and the things take ages to respawn i just dont like it

before my closing thoughts im going to list some quick thoughts

💕Urbosa 💕

✨Zelda✨

surprisingly not freaked about the zora even tho they are fish

i do hate the hinox and stalnox (its the eyes obviously) so much so that i wouldnt not fight them in the beginning i am since over that

the field around duelling peaks is my favourite place

The house is honestly a little disappointing idk i thought thered be more customisation or utility its still really nice tho

the Castle is so cool

anyway thank you for reading this incredibly long document of almost every thought i have ever had about the legend of zelda. i feel like you a deserve an award bcs i think the spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes would turn anyone who cared away

[frecklef0x]

Mass Effect 1: Playthrough Masterpost

At last, I have finished Mass Effect 1!

I have heard some mutuals say they wish they could play it again for the first time, and you kind of can--through me! I’ve been posting little “episodes” of live-tweet-stream-of-consciousness as I play, and now I’ve compiled them into one post to make my life easier.

Anyway, here’s the first one, the rest are under the cut. :)

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode one

My ass looks great in this uniform, first of all

Impaled robo zombies, yikes

Cheap shot, Saren, smh. How will I pass my spectre test now?!

Why does he have robot eyes? Is he like, Geth-Turian? Why? Is he a robo zombie also? Was it the beacon???

Cool beacon nightmares, I'm sure this is fine

This Kaiden guy has implants? ORTEGA?!??!?

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor" lol obliterated

The citadel elevators are very realistic, five minutes of tense silence huh

Ya girl got a PROMOTION and a DOPE SQUAD time to catch a TRAITOR

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode two

First things first, gotta go find the blue scientist to join the gang

This galaxy is HUGE! How many of these places will I actually be able to go?!

Only two friends at a time????? D:

Ah, a distress signal, let's see wha--A DESERT CENTIPEDE NOPE ABORT ABORT

Robo aliens? In MY Theronian mining facility? Its more likely than you think

Running over dudes in my Mako is extremely satisfying tbh

*runs over geth troopers* *runs over geth armature* *runs over geth colossus* ... *backs over geth colossus*

Working elevators in the ancient ruins ✔

Oooooooh man hope this nerd is gay

Wrex, a friend of yours? Nope, not a friend, too murdery

"ShAaaAame about the ruins Shep, sOooOo much collatoral damage, SHEP" stfu Council, "ruthless" was in the resume when you promoted us, 10/10 would shoot lasers through archeological digs again

When Kaiden calls us "ma'am" I am, uh, into it

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode three

Time to talk to the gang! Gotta meet the fam proper

Oh dear seems we got a shmee of racism on board, compatriots

Wow Raina, good foot-in-mouth moment with Wrex there huh...sorry about the eventual extinction of your race, lost this round of Pain Olympics

OH SHIT OH SHIT BLUE HOTTIE BIGENDER? THIS IS NOT A DRILL???

“hi I’m Kaiden wanna hear about my last crush ;)” “hi I’m Liara wanna hear about Asari mating rituals? ;)))” damn we really slidin right into the DMs no chill

Garrus: fuck rules and red tape amiright Raina: oh u right ;)

Guess I’ll actually do a mission now LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

Honestly rolling out with Tali and Liara is a mood, squad goals

Raina @ every corporation on Noveria: I would sell you to satan for one(1) corn chip

This reactivation puzzle is some shit

I see some Mistakes were made

We already killing moms at this stage damn BioWare

FUCK FUCK BENEZIA KILLED ME AND I LOST A FUCKTON OF PLAYTIME

THERES LIKE NO AUTOSAVE IN THIS BITCH FUUUUUUUUU

fuck fuck fuck god damn it gotta shoot a bunch of deranged baby bug people again god DAMN IT

Okay we killed Liara’s mom in front of her hope that’s fine

And we let mama bug go free because after talking to Wrex, Raina’s like “this galaxy is a little trigger happy with the genocide, good luck out there bug mama ❤️ be cool please”

I have literally watched the scientist in the hot labs get killed three times now

So far the debreifs with the council have not gone very well

“You let bug mama go?! How many generations until they take over everything???” “My money’s on two :D Place your bets now assholes or stfu :DDD”

Asked Liara if she was okay and she seems pretty Cool With It

I hope to one day return to Noveria and Death Star it into oblivion

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode four

Talked with Tali and this situation with the Geth and the Quarians is giving me an existential crisis

You “inspect” my beautiful ship? You got somethin’ to say about my crew??? Talk shit get hit, bitch I will kill you

Yoooo my old earth gang, yeah what the hell, I’ll help ou—oh nope nvm he’s a xenophobe, you hang him and I’ll shoot his friend in the face, thx for your time

Went to the citadel to finish some assignments, left tasked with twice as many

“dOn’T cUt CoRneRs” fear not dear Kaiden, I have a permit: this piece of paper that says I do what I want

Still with the elevators, I really cannot with this

“You make it all sound so...dangerous...” ;) ;))))))

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode five

Headin’ to Virmire to rendezvous with the Salarian team

A cure for the genophase?!?!?! :D

Oh wait oh no are we for real gonna talk about destroying the cure like Wrex isn’t standing right here omg

SHIT GUYS NO NOT LIKE THIS WREX PLEASE

Phew for a conversation that basically started with guns drawn, it went pretty well... “What Saren has isn’t even a proper cure, he’s just fucking with the Krogans at this point. Are we gonna stand for that? Or are we gonna murder?” “Damn Shep, you right, we gon’ murder”

Okay Ashley, go join the aliens, try not to die

Shadow Team!🎵 tearing through the base 🎶 disabling all the     defenses 🎵 (you gotta sing it to the tune of the Trogdor song)

We free the prisoners!!! :)

We shoot the prisoners??? :(

“Raina? How can you shoot them where they stand?” So it’s more merciful to let them explode? NAH FAM

This scientist is responsible for the mind control stuff? For Benezia? Fine     I’ll let her go but I hope she explodes

We did not learn our lesson concerning beacons I see

Wait if even Saren is worried about his mind control ship does that mean there are larger forces involved here?

Oh. Oh fuck

Ugh Ashley I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DIE

(so we really never found any info about that genophase cure huh? disappointing)

Oh Seren, you dumb dumb. You absolute fool. Clown man.

When Raina slings Kaiden over her shoulder to carry him to the ship—mmmmmmmmwoooow I am very bisexual

Bruh Raina takes every council call and she disconnects pissed off every time

WAIT I literally just hung up with the council, ASHLEY is DEAD, and Kaiden needs a DTR RIGHT NOW?!?!? Boy, NO, READ THE ROOM

This has been a stressful day

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode six

Shepard will avoid her feelings and go to Faros instead

Seeing Ashley’s figure greyed out and her locker inaccessible makes me sad

Wrex and Garrus, let’s go shoot some geth 💪 

A mind controlling planet—of course!

Shep gets all her renegade points shooting capitalists

Saved, uh, about half the colonists

If I have one more bad acid trip I stg

Oh nope here’s another one

Shep needs a nap

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode seven

Ah, the council. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

At least Liara is good at pep talks ;)

Joker, you cockblock

Haha DUDE we airborne, you THOUGHT

Now that I am exiled from the Citadel, guess I’ll run some galactic errands:

o   Killed corporate scientists who though we would rescue them lol

o   Destroyed a bunch of geth camps helping Tali on her pilgrimage

o   Disabled a nuke and killed some pirates

o   Shut down some evil Cerberus experiments

o   And illegally traded information!

Okay time to get back on track

So we may or may not be flying to our doom

OH GOD LIARA LOVES ME!!! RAINA, YOU DISASTER, YOU DID IT AAAAAH ❤️❤️❤️

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode eight

You know what I love? Being murdered by geth armatures

All these Ilos ruins be looking the same

Security panel is only kinda helpful

Oh, luckily I know Prothean now!

“CANNOT BE STOPPED” wow very encouraging, thanks

After that super motivating message and disabling security, its time to go down, down to goblin town

Vigil? Oh word?

My girlfriend is GEEKING out

I knew something what wrong with that fucking Citadel

Vigil: information is power. Also Vigil: What does it matter why they do what they do? All that matters is you stop them

“non-essential” personnel die first, huh? GROSS, VIGIL (gotta be honest that hits different in 2020)

Garrus gets it, I knew we liked that guy

Okay, find conduit, save galaxy, break millennium-old genocide cyle, nbd

Ugh Mako you gotta do me dirty one last time I see, I hate this thing

THE CONDUIT STRAIGHT YEETED MAKO

The citadel robot says we’re doomed : )

This shootout is SO fun, seriously

Saren get it toGETHER

Renegade Raina can kill with a conversation apparently, well done then

Concentrate on the Sovereign—why am I gonna save a council that hates my guts, sorry, but I have a JOB to DO that you ACTIVELY HINDERED

Great, zombie husk Saren, just what I needed as I mull over the possible consequences of my galaxy-altering decision

GO JOKER GO

Humanity-only council seems…questionable. Raina didn’t love the council but this sits wrong. Couldn’t we just appoint a more diverse council, including a human?

Anderson seems like a good enough dude, so…we’ll see.

TIME FOR WAR BOYS, GODDAMN WHAT A GAME

[wulfies-kpop-fanfics]

One Photo → Mark Lee [2]

↳  Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader

↳  AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.

↳  Word count: 2,610

↳  Chapters: Prelude | 1 | You Are Here! | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TUESDAY - 2

The next day you get up to your alarm, a little groggy and on autopilot. You mumble a greeting to Rhiannon who is already in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal. It's not uncommon for you to be undressed in front of her, so she barely reacts for a few moments when you reach into your clean clothes hamper in the living room and begin to change right there. 

However, in the midst of putting on your bra, Rhiannon squeals in excitement, nearly making you pee yourself.

“What the hell?!” You exclaim, now convinced that you're fully awake. 

“You-your front! Your entire torso! Look!” Rhiannon stands from the little dining table and approaches you, poking your stomach. You nearly let out a scream yourself when you see it.

Your entire torso, from collarbone to hip is completely covered with scar tissue, as well as the underside of your arms and the palms of your hands. “Rhiannon, I-” 

“Turn around.” She spoke quickly, and you obey her. She is silent for a little while, which is freaking you out even more than you already were. When she traces an outline over your right shoulder blade, your skin twitches in response. “(Y/N), this is the largest soulmate scar I've ever seen,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“I-” You're barely able to stutter out any words. You stand there, half-naked as your best friend examines you.

“Does it hurt?” Rhiannon pokes and prods on the newly formed scar tissue, primarily focusing on your shoulders.

“N-no, not at all.” You purse your lips. You feel like normal if not a bit overwhelmed. 

“This has got to be from a hug,” she concludes, nudging you to turn you back around. “There are perfect handprint scars on your back, too. You hugged Mark yesterday, right?” 

“He, uh, hugged me three times,” you confirm. “Johnny and Jaehyun hugged me twice.” 

“Then it's one of them!” Rhiannon is squealing with delight. “That is so exciting!” 

Your face fell a little, finishing putting on your bra and shirt you picked out for the day. “Yeah,” you say softly.

“What's wrong?” Rhiannon is beginning to look concerned, ghosting a hand over your shoulder.

“It's Mark,” you state, “I can feel it, but…”

“But what?” 

“If that's true, everything changes. When he leaves, am I going to be able to handle it?” you finish getting dressed and stop to look at your hands. “I… I already know I won't be able to handle the depression and separation anxiety, I won't be able to handle being constantly sick… I was never taught about any of this and I never even thought it would happen to me.” 

“(Y/N)...”

“I need to go. I have class.” 

~

You took in a deep breath as you gripped your tablet pen. You had been spending the last month's worth of photoshop labs on drawing a picture of Iron Man for your digital rendering final, and you had been doing well enough until today. Now that your hands had part of your scar, they gripped your pen differently and you were slowly growing more and more frustrated. 

It's not that you were angry that you had found your soulmate, and you were definitely happy it was Mark- but everything was happening so quickly. What were you going to say to him? Would his scar ruin his career? Were you ready for any of this? You looked up to your computer screen, seeing your reflection in the black screensaver. Seems like you had been overthinking long enough for the monitor to go to sleep.

You can see the buds of forming tears in your reflection. They were totally uncalled for and you knew it. Finding a soulmate was a happy time. In a world where all of this was completely normalized, you had no idea why you suddenly started feeling like a freak. On your way to class, you had already started to feel eyes on you. Most scars were small, dainty and cute, like a handshake or a poke to the shoulder- not a giant one that covered your entire chest, the inside of your arms and the palms of your hands. Scars larger than an apple were extremely rare, and ones like yours were the rarest of all.

What a wonderful scar, you heard your teacher say when you walked into class that morning. They say that if your scar is big, you're meant to be together for more than one lifetime. 

Maybe that was true, and it felt like a big responsibility you weren't ready for. You jumped in your seat when your phone vibrated in your pocket. 

Mark: Are you in class?

You: Yeah, but it's almost done

Mark: What is your classroom number? I'd like to pick you up if that's okay

You: Are you sure? 

Mark: Yeah! I wanted to spend more time with you today, I feel like it wasn't enough yesterday 

You: You're cheesy 

You: My classroom is 103A in M building 

Mark: You know it

Mark: See you soon 

You found yourself smiling at his texts. Talking to him eased some of your anxiety, but it still lingered in the back of your head. You put your phone down and shake your mouse so the screen comes back to life. Iron Man stares back at you, and you almost close the program. Your thoughts were irrational, and the only thing your scars were stopping you from doing was finishing the touch-ups of the last few pixels of this piece. 

Your hands will get used to it, you scold yourself, this is a good thing, (Y/N). You're not your parents.

You're snapped out of your thoughts again as your classmates begin to pack up, the quiet rustle of backpacks filling the room. You look back at your piece, over a month's work put into it and all you needed was maybe five minutes more of touch-ups and it would be perfect. 

The next time this classroom was going to be used was later tonight for the college's dungeons and dragons party, so you didn't think anyone would mind you staying to finish up.

The five minutes of touch-ups turned into 20 minutes of improving mistakes you've noticed, and 20 minutes of improving mistakes turned into an hour of being completely absorbed in your work. You had been so focused on everything that you barely even perk up when you hear one of the computer chairs rolling closer to you.

“I thought you went home, Moose,” you say casually, sticking your tongue out and swiping a line of light reflection onto a strip of red plating. 

“You have a friend named Moose?” The voice replies, and you nearly jump out of your seat, the pen swiping across the tablet and drawing a large white streak across Iron Man's face.

“Mark,” you sigh, placing a hand on your chest and trying to take in a deep breath. “You scared me.” 

Mark smiled sheepishly. “Sorry…” he looks at your computer screen. “I didn't mean to ruin your piece.” 

You smile gently, hitting ctrl z on your keyboard. The streak disappears, you save the piece and turn off the computer. “It's okay. I'm just lucky I don't have autosave turned on.” 

Mark sighed with relief. “You kinda scared me,” he starts, looking you in the eye. “You didn't come out of the classroom for so long that I thought you might have forgotten. I probably would have left if your teacher didn't recognize me and say it was okay for me to come inside.” 

Your frown at him and avoid his eye contact, deciding to focus on zipping up your backpack. “I'm sorry,” you say dejectedly. “I was dumb, but I would just be a downright moron if I stood you up on purpose.” 

Mark laughed softly, watching you pack up. “What did you want to do today?” he asked, voice softer. 

“I don't know,” you say, standing and slinging your backpack over your shoulders. “I would like to drop this off at my dorm, though. It's kinda heavy.” 

“Okay,” Mark nods. “We can start with that and go from there.”

While you travelled back to your dorm, nearly all of your anxiety about your scars disappeared. You talked about anything but the scar that was easily noticeable through your summery outfit. The more people looked at you, the more you wonder if Mark was keeping quiet out of courtesy for your aversion to his first question on the subject. 

Mark was sweet, complimenting your outfit and keeping up a strong conversation about marvel movies.

“Have you seen Endgame yet?” you asked him once you got back to the subject of Iron Man, and Mark laughed sadly.

“To my disappointment, no,” he answered, letting you board the subway first, pulling up his face mask. “Haven't had the time.” he stood close enough to you on the busy subway car that you could still hear him properly.

“Well, if you want we could see it,” you offer quickly, blushing and looking away as you saw his smile through his eyes.

“Are you asking me out, (Y/N)?” he asks, nudging you gently with his elbow. 

“N-no,” you respond, swearing up and down mentally that you were as red as a tomato. 

“I would graciously accept, but how about we wait until tomorrow? I want to catch up a little bit, I haven't watched any of the films in a while, I've been so busy preparing for the tour.” Mark smiled when you turned back to look at him again.

“Okay, well, I have all the films at my dorm,” you say, biting your lip.

“Would your roommate be okay if we stayed in?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, she would be more than okay,” you tell him, which causes both of you to start laughing. “She will probably faint if she sees you again.”

“I think I've had my lifetime fair share of people fainting in front of me,” he says humorously. 

“I wouldn't worry. She is working on her finals today and probably won't be back until after you leave,” you say. “We will have the place to ourselves.” 

“Okay, that sounds good. I'm looking forward to catching up. Do you have popcorn?” he asks sheepishly. 

“Yeah, we-” the subway comes to an abrupt stop at your station, and you nearly lose your balance. Mark catches you before your face ploughs directly into his chest. He’s holding your arm gently as you exit the subway car, and it is then you truly notice that Mark's scars are clearly visible, from his palms to the edge of his t-shirt, just like you.

When you get back to your dorm room, you place your bag and your shoes in the hallway, leading Mark inside. He pulls down his mask and sighs happily, joining you in removing his shoes and placing them on the shoe rack.

“I remember when my dorm was about this size,” he says wistfully, looking around. You frown a little. 

“You mean everyone in NCT used to live in a place like this?” you ask, walking into the kitchen to prepare a pack of popcorn.

“Not exactly, the different subgroups all had their own dorms, but they were all tiny, for more than 3 guys to live in at once.” Mark wanders over to you in the kitchen, leaning back on the counter and crossing his ankles.

“I'm sorry,” you say. “I hope it's different for you now.” 

“Yeah,” he replies, watching you put the popcorn in the microwave and press the appropriate numbers. “We all live pretty comfortably now.”

You smile at him. “Good, I'm happy. You deserve to live in a place where you're comfortable.”

Mark is silent for a moment. The microwave finishes and he moves out of your way as you grab a large mixing bowl to put your snack in. He’s watching you diligently, and you feel that too familiar pinch in your chest. It's more intense than you've ever felt from just watching internet content of him on your laptop.

“What film did you want to start with?” you ask, leading him to the living room as you pull a tote bag out from under your coffee table that contains your Marvel movie collection. “We can just watch Infinity War if you want, or we can watch them in story order if you're feeling a little daring.” 

“You know the order to watch them chronologically?” he asks, sitting down with the popcorn bowl in his lap. 

“Yeah. Rhiannon and I watched them all in order up to the release of Endgame.” 

“Wow, I'm impressed,” Mark comments, popping a couple of pieces of the snack into his mouth. “What's the order of the last three films?” 

“Let me see… it's Thor Ragnarok, Ant-Man and the Wasp and Infinity War,” you answer. “Wanna watch those?” 

“Yeah. Let's do that.” 

A few hours later you both are now watching Infinity War, about halfway through the film. A blanket had made its way over your laps and the popcorn bowl has been long empty, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. 

You can tell Mark is nervous. You're sitting close, your legs nearly touching, and you wonder if you should say something. You hoped you didn't scare him away from saying anything when the topic was brought up the night before. You didn’t want your bitterness to ruin it all.

Once you spare one glance from the movie to look over at him, you notice Mark has already beat you to it. His gaze pierces right through you, and somehow you feel as if Mark is seeing your soul.

“I don't want to make you uncomfortable,” he says, half-smiling at you. “I don't want to repeat yesterday's mistake.”

“It's okay,” You say softly, “you didn't know.” 

“But I should have.” He sounds serious and definitely looks the part, too.

You lick your lips as you watch him. There's something that hits you, like a wave of anxiety that is different from your own. 

“Mark,” you have to pause to gather your words. “You've known me for two days. Mistakes are bound to happen, and I… I don't actually hate the premise.” 

“Would you be okay with, um, talking about it?” The movie is playing in the background, the flashing images reflecting different lights onto Mark's face.

“There is not much to talk about, is there?” you asked, holding up your scarred hand. “It's here, on both of us, and I'm happy. Scared, but happy.” 

“You're not upset about it?” he asked, and it was almost like he was bracing for rejection. 

You took his hand, lacing your fingers with his. “No. You said you wanted to know someone so well that you didn't have to think about it, right?”

“Yeah, I did.” Mark returned the grip, his eyes glancing between your eyes and your hand. “You're right, we don't have to think about it.” Mark smiles softly at you, freeing his hand from yours so he can wrap his arm around your shoulder, guiding you to lean into his side.

It's maybe two hours later when you're stirred ever so slightly by the jiggling of the lock to your front door. You don't open your eyes, trying to ignore the sound and continue to cuddle into the warm body squished against you on the couch. 

Soft voices are muffled through your ears, and in your half slumber you can't exactly make any words out. Fatigue eventually grips you once again, returning to the vivid dream you were engrossed in just moments ago. 

[aspiring-ginger]

Thunderstorms Ch.1 (Fellowship x Reader)

Summary: Reader is in for a pretty large and unexpected surprise when a massive thunderstorm hits. How did the Fellowship of the Ring end up in your backyard?

Warnings: Language

Word count: 3,151

Pairing(s): Platonic Fellowship of the ring x fem!reader, eventual romantic interest (Lord of the Rings)

Who do you want Reader to end up with? Vote here!

A/N: Okay, absolutely no one asked for this, but here we are. I’ve been kicking myself for not doing requests or FMN ch2 because of terrible writers block but I got a random stroke of inspiration and decided to write this. I figured it’d be better to write anything than nothing at all! Because this is in a modern setting, reader is from the US because I am, and any slang I use I want to be authentic and don’t want to offend anyone by trying to pass it off as somewhere else. I hope y’all enjoy this!

Comments and feedback are always appreciated! Let me know if you want more!

Taglist: @thunderdog8​ 

Masterlist I Next 

You stretched out your stiff muscles as you stood from your desk chair. You rubbed your hand down your face and paused your music, deciding that it was time to take a break and make some lunch. Groaning as you opened the refrigerator door you called out,

"Alexa, play some music" Not really caring what it picked as long as it was something.

You were home alone in your childhood house, and any noise was a much needed distraction from the eerie creaking and groaning of the building around you. Your parents were off in their summer home down south having to take care of some repairs or leasing or something, so they left you in charge. You didn't mind, it was a place to stay while you worked and took online classes to finish school. Plus, you had the whole place to yourself, so it didn't matter how messed up your sleep schedule was, or how much noise you made. 

You would have to go to the store soon, you thought to yourself, glancing around your mostly empty shelves to find something edible. You decided on a quick sandwich and some fruit, grabbing the necessary ingredients and humming along to the music as you worked. 

When you finished, you debated watching something as you ate or simply eating as you worked. You decided on the former- after all, you'd been on top of all your school work so there was no rush to get anything done. With that decision out of the way now you just had to decide what exactly to watch. You sat down on the couch with your drink and food in hand, looking around the living room for inspiration. 

It had been awhile since you watched any of your favorites again, you thought as your eyes landed on a Harry Potter DVD that had been collecting dust on top of your playstation from whenever you watched it last. But no, you weren't really in the mood for wizards. Pirates of the Caribbean? That was always a good one. Plus, it had Orlando Bloom in it so….yay. You snapped your fingers- that was it! Lord of the Rings! It still had Orlando Bloom, but it had that deep fantasy setting you've been craving. You popped in the first disc of Fellowship, extended edition of course, and began happily munching on your lunch.

---

Your heart swelled as the credits rolled, remembering just how much you loved those movies. The scenery, costumes, soundtrack, actors, everything about it was just so, so, ugh! You just loved it so much. You grew up on these movies and they always had a special place in your heart. 

They were still super long, though, and you needed to get back to work. You cleaned up the living room and headed back upstairs to finish your essay for class. Smiling, you decided to put on the soundtrack from fellowship instead of whatever you were listening to last. Maybe then you would get more inspiration? Or at least time would pass quicker. Whatever it was, you just needed more to satisfy your lotr craving. You were definitely watching the other two movies when you were done.

You got several hours of good work done, not even realizing when your music had switched to the two towers. You were snapped out of your work-zone when a clap of thunder sounded outside, and you realized just how dark it was. The only light in the room was your computer screen. You went to turn on the light and continue working when you saw lightning flash from outside your window. Frowning, you remembered when you checked the weather this morning and the chance of rain was very low. Of course meteorologists are never really 100% right all the time, but this seemed a little off. How could they miss a huge thunderstorm? 

You just shrugged and sat back down at your desk to finish- you were so close to being done! At least you'd sleep well later to the sound of rain. You saved your document just go be safe. Yeah your program autosaved your work but you couldn't be too careful if there was a storm. What if the power went out? Whatever, you just needed to focus to finish the last two paragraphs and then you'd be done. 

You glanced up to your window as you began to type when- a huge rumble of thunder shook your whole house and lightning flashed incredibly bright. You felt the weight of the thunder even rattle your insides as you were seemingly blinded by the lightning. Blinking, you looked around to see what the hell just happened. There was nothing but darkness around you, your monitor no longer showing the essay you'd been working on for so long. You were right- the power went out. And holy shit were you glad you saved.

If the thunder and lightning were so close together, that meant the storm was above you, right? You stood up to get a closer look out your window. Wind was howling, whipping the rain and trees all around in the torrential downpour. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed again, slightly farther apart this time, and what you saw outside….well you definitely didn't expect.

The brief flash of light illuminated figures of people laying down in your backyard. What? You rubbed your eyes and looked harder out into the darkness, still seeing the motionless shapes. Your backyard was fenced in and locked, there was no way so many people could get in. And why were they just laying there? In the rain?? You were so utterly confused. There was just no way. You had to be going crazy. This was just you seeing things in the shadows because you were home alone. It was nothing. 

Your stomach churned as you paced around your office. Should you go outside? Or at least downstairs to get a closer look? What if they needed help and were stuck in the rain? There were some woods beyond your property so maybe they wandered in. But no. Were you crazy? That's how stupid people always die in horror films. Something incredibly weird and scary happens and they go check it out. And then they get brutally murdered or something. No. Out of the question. You tried to tell yourself that you were just seeing things, making shapes out of shadows for nothing. There was nothing there. But no, your stomach didn't agree. Your gut told you there really were people out there. You saw them in the flash of light. If they were just shadows, you wouldn't have seen anything from the lightning.

Okay, so, there really were people in your yard. What should you do? Call the police? And then what? Hi officer I think I see a bunch of men in my backyard. No they're just laying there. How dumb would that sound?? Ugh no, you couldn't do that. If they were just laying there….how long had they been there? You certainly didn't see anything from the kitchen during lunch. The knot in your stomach twisted further. If they ended up needing help or something and you just sat there doing nothing, you would end up kicking yourself about it later.

Ugh! Curse your stupid moral compass and your need to help others. If this was how you died by being the stupid person in a scary movie, then so be it. You used the flashlight from your phone to light the way through your house, throwing on some shoes and a raincoat as you headed downstairs. Since it was still light out when you were last down here, the blinds were all open and you had a good view outside of both the front and back. There were definitely people out there. Now that you were closer you could make out at least...8 bodies in the grass? You crept into the kitchen and shined your flashlight out the glass door. Your light reflected off of several of the figures. You thought they might be wearing reflective gear or something, but the light wasn't as bright as it should've been. No, that was metal that reflected the light. 

You squeezed your eyes shut and clenched your fists in hopes of gathering up some courage. You sighed and tried to calm your nerves. You reached out and unlocked the door, pausing to see if the bodies would react to the noise. They didn't flinch, so after a moment you pulled the door open, and slid the screen door to the side . They didn't react to that either, so you stepped out into the rain.

Without turning your back on them, you stepped around to the wood pile nearby, glancing back to grab a long stick. There was no way you were gonna touch these strangers. Stick in hand, you crept up to the nearest one. Upon closer inspection, you saw what was reflecting the light from the door. Laying in front of you was a man with dark medium length hair. His clothes were ragged, a green cloak hung around his shoulders.  It certainly looked nothing like anyone would wear currently. Strangest of all, however, was a sword strapped to his back along with what appeared to be a blanket. Tilting your phone around, it looked very real. A foam sword or prop wouldn't shine like that.

You looked over to another figure and saw a similar sight. A man with medium length hair and a green cloak but instead of a sword on his back, he had a large round shield with what you think was a sword strapped to his hip. What the fuck? You glanced to another, a man with long blond hair and a matching green cloak but this time with a bow, daggers, and a quiver full of arrows at his back. You knew these props. It looked so familiar. Your breathing picked up as you looked over another figure. This one was much smaller. He had shorter, currier hair and again the same matching green cloak. Where the other men had boots however, this man...child(?)'s feet were bare. And large. Much larger than you would think for someone of his size. 

The pit in your stomach sank much deeper. You knew who these men were, or, at least trying to be. You literally just watched the first freaking movie. You identified each member of the fellowship of the ring. Aragon was in front of you, followed by Boromir, then Legolas. You saw Frodo, Sam, and you couldn't tell which one was Merry or Pippin from this distance but there were definitely four Hobbits. The furthest figure must've been Gimli. Gandalf was not among them, but that would make sense given the rest of the fellowships matching green cloaks. You were definitely freaking out now. There were a bunch of freaking cosplayers passed out in your yard? What the hell were you gonna do now? Your thoughts were racing, but your stomach was faring much worse. Somehow, you thought, it was much worse than it seemed.

You thrust your stick forward, prodding at the 'Aragorn' that lay at your feet. He didn't stir, so you poked a little harder. You thought you saw his breathing quicken, but reached forward with your stick anyway, just for good measure. The man shot up and grabbed your stick away from you in one fluid motion, drawing his blade with his other hand.

You stood like a deer in headlights, unmoving with eyes wide. The man held his sword out at you, pointing it at your throat while he glanced at his surroundings. You blinked and quickly threw your hands up in surrender, dropping your phone in the grass. Thankfully, it landed face down so it still provided some light. Rain continued to pour.

'Aragorn' looked back at his companions all strewn about then turned back towards you, thrusting his sword in warning.

"Who are you and what have you done to them?" The man spoke and you just stared, mouth agape. 

"What is this place? Answer me!" He insisted and took a step forward bringing the blade closer to your throat. There was no way that thing was a prop. That thing looked sharp.

You tried to speak, your mouth suddenly dry and tongue getting caught in your throat. His yelling, it seemed, was loud enough to wake the others, as they began to stir. 

"Aragorn. What is this place, what is going on?" You heard another voice speak and a blade removed from its sheath. Boromir stepped up to Aragorn's side and held his blade out at you as well.

Your mind was racing at 100mph but you were just frozen in place, shock taking over your body. How were you supposed to respond to this? What were you supposed to do? Looking at each of them, that was, without a shadow of a doubt, Aragorn and Boromir. 

"I-I…" you began, trying to form the right words. Aragorn simply raised a brow, "I-uh.. my name is (y/n) and um, you're in my backyard? I have no idea how you got here."

"Your yard? This is your house?"

"Uh- yeah um...do you want to come inside?" Aragorn and Boromir exchanged glances.

"How are you so quick to invite us in? What do you want from us?"

"Nothing!" You answered a bit too quickly, your voice going up in pitch, "Uh I mean n-nothing. I don't want anything from you. I was just writing in my house when the thunder hit and I looked outside and you all were just laying here, so I came out to see what was going on. Look, I wasn't even armed!" You gestured to your stick that was still in Aragorn's hand. 

He glanced down at it and indeed, it wasn't even sharp. He dropped it to the ground, calling out something in elvish, you only picked up Legolas' name. He responded in kind, and Aragorn nodded. He called out another phrase and turned back to you.

"You seem to be telling the truth, and we have no memory of how we arrived. We are in no position to refuse such a generous offer, but know this-" he twirled the sword in his hand before sheathing it, "should you try anything, we are armed." Boromir did the same, and you nodded in agreement. Legolas was helping the others up. 

"Please, um, follow me." You weren't sure if you should let them go first or show them in, so you decided to enter before them to show that you really didn't have any traps or anything malicious. 

You held your back door open for them as they entered one by one, all looking around at their strange new surroundings. Aragorn was last to enter, and you awkwardly shut the door behind them and locked it. They all looked to you expectantly, dripping water all over your kitchen. 

Aragorn cleared his throat and took a small step forward. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This here is Boromir of Gondor, Legolas of the Woodland Realm, and Gimli, son of Gloin. The halflings are Meriadoc Brandybuck, Peregrin Took, Samwise Gamgee and, Frodo Baggins." Each bowed their heads as they were introduced. "And your name once more, my lady?"

"(Y/n) (l/n)....of Earth..?" You winced as you added the 'earth' bit. Here you were with your childhood heroes all standing in your kitchen, and you were just making a complete fool of yourself. 

"You have our gratitude, my lady. " Aragorn put a hand at his heart. "Would you, perhaps, direct us back on course so we may be on our way? We would hate to impose." He glanced around your kitchen as he spoke, looking curiously at your appliances.

"Um..about that." You began to sweat. How the fuck are you supposed to tell them that they're in a completely different world with little to no chance of getting home?! "Uh, please um take a seat if you want. This um.. is going to be hard to explain." The men gave you strange looks while the hobbits pulled out your four kitchen chairs and sat down.

"You're not in Middle-Earth any more, but that's pretty obvious I guess. Uh, here it's called Earth. Just Earth, no middle. We don't really have any kingdoms here, each country has their own elected officials or dictators. We're in the United States of America, or the US for short. You um… you're in a different world than yours. And time, I guess. We're also a lot more advanced with our technology than you. Oh shit- um.. I realize now that it's weird  that I know you're from Middle-Earth but let me explain ummm" you were definitely panicking now "Middle-Earth exists here? But.. to us, it's just a work of fiction, a story from a book. A really popular book. Like, the whole world has probably at least heard of it. So you're all um, characters in the book. Well, books actually. It's a series. Um, the author is J. R. R. Tolkien and the series is called The Lord of the Rings. And movies too. Really famous movies…" you trailed off.

They all stared at you in shock. 

"I can prove it! Here….you must still be in the first book, The Fellowship of the Ring. I mean no offense, but I'm guessing that you just went through Moria and then Lothlorien, and were making your way down the river Anduin and planning to approach Mordor from the north...right?"

Their eyes went wide and they all exchanged looks. 

"How do you know that?" Gimli asked.

"Well uh, I can tell because of your cloaks. You got them from Lorien, they have the leaves. And they look new, they're not that dirty yet. And Gandalf isn't with you.." you finished sheepishly. You almost said because Boromir was still there. And they were all still together. Thank god you kept that information to yourself.

"So," Boromir began, "Your entire world knows of the ring? And our mission?"

"Of course!" Their shoulders sagged so you quickly added, "Well the books and movies are super popular! A ton of people know your story, but that's a good thing! Everyone knows your story because they love it and they're rooting for you. They want your mission to succeed and to see the ring destroyed, too." They looked visibly relieved. " I swear on my life that I want nothing to do with the ring and I want you to succeed at all costs. I've grown up loving the books and the movies, so it really means a lot to me." You swallowed as you realized how awkward that sounded.

"Thats nice but, what's a movie?" Pippin asked.

Oh god, this was going to be a very long night.

Taglist is open!

[blookmallow]

and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline 

i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all.....  cicero’s heart 

-----

well

these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,

i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao

:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me 

hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho 

Dont woRRY About It

i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor 

anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood

i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER

so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ??  I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys 

then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND

EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY

i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god 

anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway

i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook

im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok 

i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it 

i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary

enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left) 

theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ | 

ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE

you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this 

[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED

i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....

(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, ) 

sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this 

we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him 

oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh

i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go, 

i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him

I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,

i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now 

i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)

im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for

he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............

darling..... calm down, :’) 

hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain

i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman 

he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though

i mean. not that i tried that or anything

he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this 

he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet 

“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid” 

having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful 

ur so cute when you’re threatening people

he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN

me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder:

[nightowlfandom]

Requested: Jungkook-Office Rivals.

HIYA! My request list is RIGHT HERE! (ALSO DO YOU LOVE SLASHER FAN FICS?! MY GOOD FRIEND MADE A TUMBLR FOR IT AND TELL HER THAT ASH FROM NIGHTOWLFANDOM SENT YOU! @slasher-fanatic LOVE YOU BOO!)

3-"Damnit, do you have any idea how amazing you are? Stop being so damn insecure!"

29-"Where the hell did you learn that?!"

34-"Don't pretend that wasn't on purpose, come here."

45-Go to sleep, I promise I'll wake you up"

54- .How stupid so you think I am?!"

(I HAD TO TYPE THIS STUPID POST FIVE TIMES OVER. I'm sorry if this is the complete opposite of what you wanted but I couldn't write this a sixth time without going into panic. Pleaseee forgive me for that.)

...

"Did you really think a trick like that would work?!" you stormed onto Jungkook's office, seething with rage. "You stole my client!"

"I wouldn't say stole, Y/N. More like convinced him that I was the better candidate. As I always am." he smirked. Jeon Jungkook was the type of man that thought just because the name CEO was attached to his title, that he could walk over who he pleased and it really made you mad. You were just as important as he was.

"Did you bribe him or something?" you crossed your arms. "You seem like the type!"

"That would be your department Ms. L/N (last name). Lucky for me I don't need high heels and a low cut blouse to be convincing." he shrugged. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a deal to settle." he sad down and began typing at his phone. "Good day Ms. L/N."

You whipped around, shutting his door behind you. The nerve of him! He stole your client and then commented on your attire?!

"Hey, how'd it go?" you were joined by Rose. (Okay if it wasn't obvious from my last post, I love Blackpink) "Did he admit it?"

"Yes! He stole my client because he thought he was 'the better candidate' " you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. "Who does he think he is?!" you snapped. "I'm just as important as he is."

"Of course you are. You know how Mr. Jeon is." she shook her head. "What can you do other than- don't even think about murder." she cut you off just as you opened your mouth.

"I gotta go, I have a report to type." you walked ahead of your friend who shook her head.

"I know that face." Taehyung, another worker had appeared. "You have a plan don't you?"

Rose smirked, nodding her head. "Yes, but I'm gonna need your friends' help. Can you do that?"

"Anything to get those two together." Taehyung laughed. "What do I need to do?"

...

"What do you mean the reports need to be typed again!?!" you and Jungkook yelled at a eerily calm Yoongi. Six reports within the week, gone like that!

"They just disappeared out of nowhere." he shrugged. He looked like he was trying to hide something. What about this was so amusing!? "Taehyung said he couldn't find them, Rose said the same thing. Even Changmin."

" I spent days on those reports, where the hell could they have gone?!" you began pacing.

"Forget it, we'll have to type them again." he waved your rant off.

"That'll take all night." you sighed. "The amount of detail put into them, even if I start now I won't be done until, I don't even know. 4:00 AM."

"I never said you'd be on your own Ms. L/N." Jungkook made you stare at him in confusion. He wasn't really going to try and help you was he?

"What?" you asked stupidly.

"If I help you, then you won't be stuck typing until four." he looked at you like you had a sign that said ' I'm a Dumbass' around your neck. "How stupid do you think I am to the point where I can't type a simple staus report?"

"Don't ever recall insulting your intelligence but okay." you sighed.

....

Damn Jungkook and damn his nice house. Damn the fact that you agreed to come over instead of staying behind by yourself. You seethed as your furiously typed on your laptop you tried to wrap your mind around your current situation as you glanced over at your notes.

Jungkook was in his stupidly nice kitchen. Don't get it wrong, you had a very nice place too, you just hated the fact that today of all days was when your car was in the shop, meaning Jungkook had to drive you to his place so you could both work.

"Here you are." a glass was set down in front of you. You didn't look at it right away but you mumbled a quick "thanks".

"Listen, I know you're less than thrilled about working with me, but you could we try to be cordial. Ot at least a bit chill?"

"I am chill." you clenched your teeth as you typed. You noticed Jungkook staring at your notes, trying to type what he saw on his own laptop.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jungkook asked as he looked up from his computer.

"Sure."you were too focused to make a snide comment like along the lines of 'I don't know, can you?'

"Why do you hate me so much?" he asked. You stopped everything you were doing and turned to face him. He did not jus-. Did he just ask why you hated him?

"You don't remember the day we met? You spilled coffee on me, then mistaked me for a delivery girl. Then when your ex-assistant told you that I was your second in command you laughed, looked me up and down then said AND I QUOTE ,'Her? No way in hell. She probably can't even use a stapler correctly.' " you snapped, shutting your laptop for dramatic effect (good thing your laptop autosaves after long pauses). "You basically embarassed me at the staff introductory meeting telling everyone not to be surpised if I stand at the copy machine for too long because all the colorful buttons would confuse me." you stood up. You were now ranting. "The very next day when I talked to a client from Hungary, you told him that I wasn't anyone important! Thus embarrassing me again!"

"Y/N!" Jungkook slowly stood up.

"Don't Y/N me, because I'm not done! You'd ridicule my work every chance you got, how dare you call me reports 'simple'! Insinuating that I use my body to convince clients. My shirts are NOT low cut for the record!"

"Y/N." Jungkook sighed. You began pointing a finger at his chest.

"What?!" you crossed your arms. "There's loads more I have to say about what you've said to me."

"Well, don't. Because they aren't true. I didn't mean any of it." he sighed.

"What?!" you raised a brow. "Hold on, did you just say that-"

"I didn't mean any of it." he shook his head. "Everyone instantly liked you and I saw your resume and I felt challenged."

"Challenged, with the way you treat me, you might as well win every battle. Did you really expect me to think that was really going through your mind was 'Damnit do you have any idea how amazing you are, stop being so insecure.' " you faked (and failed) a deep voice. "Since day one you've been treating me like I'm some kind of dumb broad! I tried being nice to you and you blatantly disregard my work ethic or my skill in general. So don't you sit there and ask me wh- woah!"

You suddenly tripped over your own shoe, crashing into Jungkook's broad chest. Just like that you two were sent crashing to the floor. Good thing there was a nice carpet. You landed on Jungkook who landed on his back, causing the both of you to groan in pain.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry." you tried to scramble up, only to lose balance and land in a straddling position on Jungkook.

"Geez, could you be any more clumsy." he sighed. Propping himself up on his elbows, you finally got a good look of his face. Without his hair slicked and styled like the guys in those dramas you and your mom loved to make fun of. His face was actually relaxed.

Jungkook studied your face, your hair was a little bit of a mess, without that seemingly angry look you wore around him, he could see why everyone you met said you seemed friendly. You rushed to your feet, fixing your clothes.

You sat back down, opened your laptop and began working again, obviously bent of just finishing and going home to enjoy what little sleep you'd get until the next day.

"Y/N." Jungkook asked. Just as you turned your head, Jungkook wasted no time in kissing you. You nearly lost balance so to stay afloat you clung to his arm.

"Don't pretend that wasn't on purpose." Jungkook said in a low voice. "Come here." his words confused you to no end. In all actuality you could blame this incident on faulty high heels you were getting ready take off to throw at him. Unless he was talking about you clinging to his arm, then that was all you. In an instant you were pulled into Jungkook's lap, your hands making an eyen bigger mess of his hair. His hands traveled up your skirt allowing gusts of cold air to brush up against your skin.

Whatever was building up inside you needed to get out, so to relieve the tension coiling up inside you, you slowly moved your clothed core against, Jungkook's thigh, just to relieve yourself, even a little. Your legs shook as he guided you against his leg.

Jungkook held the back of your head, his hands tangled in strands of your hair. You weren't sure how to make out the feelings that coursed through your brain. Yes you hated Jungkook, but did you? Or were you just working off of what he showed you of himself and not what your other coworkers said about him apparently bragging that you were the best. You couldn't really hear yourself think over the harsh breathing leaving your body as your tongues crashed and prodded one another.

Whether you magically landed on the bed out of nowhere or whether Jungkook put your there wasn't important what was important was that he needed you. Since that day you walked in he couldn't fathom the threat of someone who worked harder than him. And beautiful too?! Might as well make him your assistant and call you the CEO. Not to mention him just plain out being a jerk for no reason, he kept it up because you'd think he was a dirty liar if he actually tried to apologize and makeup for his actions.

Jungkook furiously unbuttoned his shirt. Thoughts of you with your legs wrapped around his torso that have been haunting him since you told him off your third month at the company were too strong. They blinded his work ethic. Yes, reports needed to be done, but feeling you against him was twice as important. No, way more important.

He'd have time to enjoy your body, kiss every part of you later, now he needed you.

You had no time to worry about reports. Damn your sexual frustration and your messy hair. Your clothes discarded who knew where, you were too ready for him to care. (I hate myself but I'm not changing the scentence.)

Even thought he couldn't wait, he still wanted to care for you, he gently pinned your arms above your head as he slowly lowered himself into you. The sound of water sounded strange in your ears as the noises got faster and louder, gradually of course. Almost gracefully, your name escaped his lips, followed by a grunt of appreciation.

"Fuck!" Jungkook grunted. "Fuck I'm gonna-" he groaned. His thrusts grew slower and less calculated. His jaw went slack as more unintelligible sounds spilled from his mouth.

You nearly screamed his name but was muffled by Jungkook's mouth colliding with yours. An effective, yet seemingly messy way of shutting you up. You shook furiously under him, tightening around his length. Screams echoed through the room, yours and his.

You yawned tiredly collapsing onto the plush surface, your eyes grew very heavy as Jungkook laid next to you.

"I'm sorry. If I wasn't such an asshole to you when we first met." he sighed. "We would have gotten to this place a lot quicker." he laughed dryly.

"That's not funny." you whined, burying your head into the pillow next to your head. "Watch the hair next time, you probably made a tangle I won't be able to get out." you sighed, trying to fix your hair.

"Go to sleep, I promise I'll wake you up. We can ride to work tomorrow." Jungkook chuckled traced soothing lines on your hip, making you smile. "After we have breakfast together."

"Okay." you yawned, drafting off. "I like (insert favorite breakfast food.)" you hinted. You suddenly realized something "Jungkook?"

"Yes beautiful?"

" I always send copies or reports to everyone else in the office, including your personal email. There would be no way those reports were lost unless someone moved them to a different folder...."

"Wait a minute." Jungkook mumbled. "You don't think anyone at the office had anything to do with this, do you?"

"Too sleepy to care, but most definitely." you yawned. "We'll deal with it later." you yawned. "Sleeeepp" you whined, poking Jungkook's nose. You didn't have time to hear him chuckle at your mannerisms as you drifted off.

[moistwithgender]

Monthly Media Roundup (May 2019)

The march of time inexorably proceeds beyond my grasp and so I must write another post. I’ve been a bit burned out, just focusing on one diversion (it was Zelda, you know it was Zelda), but after finishing it I recovered enough energy to get a few more things done in the last half of the month. I didn’t watch any anime or read any manga in May, though I did read some 70s Marvel, which I liveblog in my “curry reads comics” tag. Last time I did an actual capital-P Post about my Marvel reading was a year ago after marathoning a full(ish) decade. If people are interested in more of that I could work at making posts for each year of issues I read, recapping the developments and my thoughts on them (which will become more relevant as Events become more common, I imagine). I’ve just got a few games to talk about this month, but I imagine I have a lot to say about at least one of them.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch): 2 years ago I did something I extremely rarely do: stood in line at a Best Buy at midnight for the release of the Switch so that I could buy it with BotW. BotW was also out on Wii U, which I had, but the promotional material for BotW had struck such a chord in me that it justified making the jump for the new console (this would eventually become troublesome when the first model of joycons failed, but, well). I got home, put some ten odd hours into it, and then put it down for two years. I’ve always had a problem where, struck with the intuition that I will end up forming a deep relationship with a work, I will put it off for years. I put off Persona 3 for five years after buying it at launch, and it eventually became the most personal game experience I would have, even seven years onward. I think the two factors that pushed me to finally play through BotW was wanting to watch a friend stream it (but also not wanting it spoiled for me), and needing a distraction for when I was taking care of my cat.

It’s been about two months now since he passed away, and I finally finished the game at 215+ hours about half a month ago. So, I was playing this game as a coping method while preparing for loss, and in dealing with loss. It’s appropriate that the game is effectively both a fantasy about reclaiming at least part of what you have lost, and a colossal exercise in coping. The game is as much about getting distracted from your responsibilities and fucking off to snowboard in the mountains as it is about being aware of the world around you. The Zelda games have frequently used themes of Shintoism to portray harmony in nature and in civilization. I’m currently replaying Ocarina of Time and the cosmogony myth (is it a myth if a talking tree explains it to you?) specifically words the goddesses as “[giving] the spirit of law to the world” and “[producing] all life forms who would uphold the law.” When I was younger (see: early 20s) I didn’t scrutinize the text much but now I figure it’s reasonable to read “law” as “natural order”. It should be noted that for an N64 game, OoT has remarkably good prose. BotW, in transitioning the series in what may be its third main genre (as opposed to the genres of Zelda 1 and OoT), has taken that Shintoist aesthetic and incorporated it into the entire philosophy of the game’s design. More than just being a game whose narrative concerns an imbalanced world, BotW embraces the trends of open worlds and immersive sims to create an immense, varied space where the coded laws of physics are always impacting the experience. Thunderstorms make metal equipment a liability, while rain covers the sounds of footsteps. Wind can sweep away items, fire and high temperatures affect flammable objects (including yourself), and aforementioned metallic items can conduct electricity, which can be used to solve puzzles in unintended ways. Weather changes regularly based on the region and changes the world in tandem. Rain doesn’t just fall, it actively collects, and ponds become bigger, and surfaces become slicker. Each systemic element (pun not intended) that was incorporated affected everything else in the world, and in interviews there were mentions that changing the volume of wind in one area had a butterfly effect on another, causing pots to fly off of patios in a village. It’s no wonder the game took five years to make, considering how rarely glitches occur in the game (and most that I know of have to be deliberately recreated for exploitation). You’re engaging with enemies as much as you are with the environment, and at times even with your own body, creating and consuming food and drink for the purpose of staving off sunstroke or frostbite. As a result, BotW’s Hyrule is immensely palpable, and easy to lose oneself in from how livable it feels.

When I first started playing at release, I was a bit disappointed to discover that villages existed in-game, as early promotional material and the state of the Great Plateau you start on painted a picture of a lonely world. In the end, the soundtrack and vast amount of uncolonized land does give an understated sense of melancholy that defines the game, though the fact that every five steps you’ll find a Korok micropuzzle waiting to YA HA HA and fanfare at you betrays that a bit (I still love those Koroks and their puzzles, don’t @ me). The NPCs in this are numerous, though, from the occupants of the villages to wandering traders, and their personalities are all distinct and charming, and probably the best I’ve ever seen in a game, or at least in a long time. If this game wasn’t railroading the Link/Zelda relationship so hard, I would have liked a Dragon’s Dogma-style “date any NPC (within reason)” mechanic. I’m just going to have to start a “NPCs you should marry” side-tumblr.

Another defining aspect of the gameplay, and easily what makes the game surpass arguably every other Zelda, is how Nintendo heard the decade or so of complaints about the linear Zelda lock-and-key formula being reiterated to the point of stagnation, and, after great success with A Link Between Worlds’ item rental subversion, just decided to make everything optional. You do the tutorial on the Great Plateau, and, if you feel especially gutsy, you can beeline it straight to Ganon. He’s in horse-riding distance, or running distance, if you’re tenacious. Will you make it to him, survive the hordes of enemies, and take him down? If it’s your first time playing the game and you haven’t learned the systems, probably not. Is it possible? Absolutely. Much like how the monthly cycle of a Persona game is a proverbial Rocky training montage of preparing for The Big Fight, everything you do in BotW is in preparation. A lot of open world games can feel dissonant in that you’re incentivized to be distracted as a player and make your own fun, meanwhile the protagonist keeps saying “I’m gonna get bloody revenge on the mafia boss!” during bowling matches. There is still, unavoidably, a sense of urgency played up for narrative sake in BotW, since Impa insists Zelda is waiting and can’t hold Ganon back forever, but it’s all much more narratively justifiable, if you want that. You know, because Zelda is for hardcore roleplaying.

I couldn’t resist a second playthrough, even after logging 215+ hours, so I went ahead and started a separate file on Master Mode, Nintendo’s weird in-house, in-franchise rebranding of, uh, a hard mode. Previously it was called Hero Mode. Why do you--well, okay, I know why they do it. They’re likely trying to distinguish it from a “we just tweaked the numbers” hard mode, and also want to make it feel less threatening than something labeled hard mode. If they’re going to go to the trouble to make it a distinct form of play, they want to try and appeal to everyone. And it is fairly distinct. All enemies are bumped up one rank, so a red bokoblin is blue, and a blue bokoblin is black, and so on. There is a new strongest rank of enemy, though in my run I did not seek them out. There are enemies (and treasure chests!) perched on flying rafts, which can be one-shot with proper bow aiming, but also carry dangerous elemental arrows, and can alert all other enemies in the area. Stealth is much more difficult, and pointless early in. All enemies regenerate up to a third of their health, including bosses! Though, that can be temporarily interrupted by inflicting any amount of damage on them, so it behooves you to be on the offense. Less autosave slots! This wasn’t a problem for me. Guardians randomly delay the firing of their beams! This was absolutely a problem for me and I avoided them entirely in my run. In the beginning when tools and resources are scare, particularly on the Great Plateau, Master Mode is at its hardest, and its most thrilling. Rather than aimlessly exploring, I was pressured to decide where I knew things were, and beeline it to them. Sometime in-between two of the four main optional dungeons, I had amassed enough valuable resources that the game had settled back into the same kind of difficulty as normal mode. Bosses were a little harder due to regen and my resources being somewhat scarcer, but they were manageable. Competently performing flurry attacks (upon successfully dodging attacks at the last second) was extremely valuable to me, but I imagine with enough food in my inventory, I could have brute forced my way through a lot of the fights (though, uh, obviously thou wouldst like to live deliciously (please hate me for this phrasing)). I chose to forego the Master Sword for the sake of challenge, and beat Master Mode with only seven hearts, in around 25 hours. You should play Master Mode, it’s fun.

Here’s a little gameplay SPOILER:

Something I haven’t done, but would like to eventually do, is avoid the main dungeons and just head straight to Ganon. When I played Master Mode, I wasn’t totally confident, and did the dungeons for the resources. After watching some speedruns I learned that if you skip the dungeons, and therefore the main bosses, you have to fight them all at once immediately before the fight with Ganon, without breaks.

That. Sounds. Great.

Wandersong (PC/Steam): Have you heard about Homestuck?

Okay, wait. Wait. Come back, wait. Stop leaving. PLEASE.

Okay, I got the most inflammatory sentence out of the way. Now that we’re eased into that: Wandersong is unignorably influenced by Homestuck. Homestuck conjured a lot of baggage, from having a really difficult, pretentious, arrogant author (I should know, I gave him the benefit of the doubt for way too long), to having some unfortunate narrative turns, to being a billion words long. Wandersong invokes the vaster-than-God scope, the minute and personal perspective of the heroes, and its inclinations toward emotional intelligence (it still surprises me Homestuck had these moments given the author’s deeply unsympathetic sense of humor), and… condenses it! It also makes it a light puzzle-platformer and is about performing music (note: not rhythm, you don’t have to have ANY rhythm), and looks like a Paper Mario game. It is very charming, very funny, very optimistic, and most surprisingly, uncompromising at times. Wandersong says that you, despite your role, are capable of great things, especially self growth and change, as long as you commit to it. If, faced with the consequences of your bad decisions, you choose to double down and keep at it, you will reap what you sow. This is distinctly different from Undertale’s brand of pacifism route optimism, where “no one has to die!” This brand of optimism is a measured but enthusiastic “you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, but you can save the rest” and I think that’s a uniquely valuable message.

I was a little confused about the resolution of the communist uprising chapter, but I recall the game bringing my cynicism into question, and the most important thing a work can do is make you question yourself.

(Also, if any of my mutuals are low on funds but interested, I do have a drm-free version I can share.)

Minit (PC/Steam): I don’t think I actually have a lot to say about Minit! It’s very fun and curious and short. You play a little… duck… thing, and you pick up a cursed sword which kills you in one minute. Then you wake up the next day, and die in a minute. Then you wake up the next day. Having only sixty seconds of vitality, you have to optimize your exploration. There’s a slow-speaking old man who you will die listening to, but the hint he gives at the end of his sentence will lead you to something valuable. There’s a guy in a bar angry about the lack of music. If you change the music, he will probably dislike it. If you keep changing the music, you might live to see him like it. There’s a boat ride to a tropical island you have to grit your teeth and wait through. Not all of the events are slow, some are quick bouts of hurried exploration. Most of it is, given the time limit. I’d say more, but given the overall length (it took me about an hour to finish), I’d risk spoiling a sizable fraction of the experience. It’s about $10, though I got mine in a Humble Bundle Monthly subscription. The spec requirements are very low, so your laptop can likely run it.

A Hat in Time (PC/Steam): Heads up, I’m gonna get into a lot of spoilers for this game, including endgame spoilers, but also heads up, the story isn’t really the point in this game. This is a game about tone and platforming. That said, I’m gonna be talking exclusively about the weird ideas in this game, and if you want those weird ideas to be a surprise, then just skip ahead until I put up big letters.

I’m somewhat hesitant to be critical of A Hat in Time because despite a number of weird Things about it, I recognize that it’s quite popular with a lot of people, and that always makes me pause and want to figure out what it is that makes it pass the bar for others. My guess at this point is that it invokes nostalgia through its unmitigated imitation of games that came before. The games it chooses to ape are all your childhood’s Greatest Hits, Wind Waker (which it most resembled in its earliest development), Super Mario Sunshine/Galaxy (which it most resembles now), Banjo-Kazooie, Psychonauts, etc. It never really surpasses those games, for me, and at times cribs from them to the degree that it obscures the game’s own identity. After all, what you enjoy may help define you, but you wouldn’t say it’s your personality. Well. Unless you kin the Gamecube. I guess. There are bonus levels to the game’s different “worlds” (I thought they were different planets, since your hub area is a spaceship, and you access them via different telescopes, but it turns out it’s just one planet?), and you can collect photographs, which sequentially tell a story about the residents of that “world”. Psychonauts did this because each level took place in the mind of a character, and the photos together told a story about the character that fundamentally changed the way you thought about them, and made the whole game feel richer as a result. I collected the photos for all but the DLC levels in AHiT (those are Really Hard), and of those five or so worlds, none of those bonus photos told me anything that changed how I thought about the characters. There’s a dock town run by a mafia (s-sorta) led by a chef, but did you know they all used to work at a processing factory before going there? There are two manipulative bird directors who are fighting over the same studio to produce their own film and win an award, but did you know they… wanted to be directors since they were kids? There’s a devil analogue who steals people’s souls if they wander into his forest, but did you know he was a prince, and the princess was mad he talked to another girl (it was a flower girl, he was getting flowers for the princess), and imprisoned him until they both the prince and princess turned into evil ghosts? That’s the only one that comes close to being an “oh” moment, but I don’t think it does for the reasons the writer was hoping for. In general, these are prologues without substance.

Speaking of substance, the game has a bit of an issue with theming. At least, it does at first. The first town is the previously mentioned dock town, run by a mafia. By “mafia”, I mean a bunch of meatheads who talk about how they like punching people, and refer to themselves individually, in the third person, as Mafia. Mafia loves to punch the poor and the birds. Mafia is a one-dimensional character copy-pasted across 20% of the game. Mafia laughs. They’re run by a chef, but also they can’t cook, so there’s a cat chef in hiding who routinely swaps out their food with his so no one has to eat bad food. I don’t know why, when the town has maybe three non-Mafia character. He does eventually leave and board your ship, so maybe he’s just looking for something to do. The leader of the mafia also boards your ship, for a joke and to sell you an upgrade. The mafia are also afraid of mud monsters, or aliens, or something. There’s a girl with a moustache named Moustache Girl who wants to use your Time Macguffins to overthrow organized crime, and Hat Girl decides that’s a no-go. There are giant faucets around the town that replace all the water with lava. You might be noticing these things have little to no connection. You might be suspecting this level was made first when the dev was inexperienced. I might be suspecting this. It’s fine.

Later worlds do a much better job of theming. There’s the movie studio split between two birds. One of them a penguin, who prefers science fiction, the other a…

...hmmm. I suspect this guy, The Conductor, is an OC the director has had for a while, maybe since childhood, that they just decided Is A Bird, and carried it into the game, since the game occasionally is like... bird?? Alternatively, it’s some sort of corruption of Woodstock from Peanuts. Possibly both. Anyway, this guy just wants to make movies that take place on wild western trains. He has a strong fake Scottish accent, and the penguin, named DJ Grooves, is some sort of disco Elvis. They’ve both hired owls as actors, and some crows have snuck onto the train set (the crows are so obviously the G-Men from Psychonauts’ Milkman level it bothers me a bit). This is already a little busy, but it’s okay! Birds, movies, two distinct genres, and you trapped in-between them, just trying to collect your macguffins. It works. You take part in both of their movies, and your performance in both determines the winner, when suddenly… CORRUPTION WAS AFOOT, and you have to explore the depths of the studio and engage in a showdown.

Another world is a spooky forest where your access is restricted by completing certain contracts for the devilish character. Sometimes it’s murder (reasonable), exploring a haunted mansion in survival horror format (ooh!), fixing the plumbing in a well (wait, what), and doing mail delivery (back up back up). Half of that works. The finale of the forest makes up for it, though. This game insists on most of its bosses having like 4-5 phases and breaks for dialogue and the gall required to get away with that honestly earned my respect. They’re pretty fun times.

The best level to play is, unsurprisingly, the first DLC. I say unsurprising because it’s clear the dev is learning as they go, and the level design improves as they go along. Aside from bonus levels, the first DLC takes place on a massive cruise liner titled the SS Literally Can’t Sink. Ha ha. It’s split into three parts. The first part has you exploring the many interconnected rooms of the ship to find broken shards of a macguffin, the second part has you taking that mental map and using it to frantically complete multiple timed fetch quests at once, and the third part, now that you understand the ship pretty intimately, capsizes the ship, requiring you to traverse frigid waters and overturned scenery to retrieve babies and the ship’s incompetent but adorable baby seal crew (the seals speak in hewwo talk, the game is unforgivably loaded with memes but let me have this). This progression is my favorite in the game, and while I haven’t bought the Nyakuza Metro DLC, I’m looking forward to it.

The ending level had me a bit bewildered at first because in the beginning when Hat Kid refuses to use time powers to stop organized crime, I saw it as a hamfisted way to create tension between Hat Kid and Moustache Girl. Apparently it was working up towards the moral of the story. In the final level, Moustache Girl has stolen all the macguffins, and possessing ultimate power, becomes corrupted ultimately, and summons everyone in the world to her Bowser castle to be judged and die. On first glance, I thought “well, sure, that’s sensible,” but when Hat Kid finds the support of all the villains in the game, I was a little confused. The villains sacrifice themselves to give you infinite health, explicitly stating that they’ll just come back through time magic if you win so who cares (cool stakes), and you overcome authoritarianism with the support of corrupt hollywood, organized crime, and the literal devil. This would be fine if at some point Hat Kid, you know, took them on a Zuko Quest to face turn all of them, but that doesn’t happen. They just all decide “hey yeah, fuck this girl! Also we don’t have time for the nuance this might require!” After all is said and done and you collect all your macguffins, you’re given the choice of leaving the defeated Moustache Girl a single macguffin so she can defeat the mafia (whose side are we on) or just saying nahhh. Neither appears to make a difference, but maybe in a year or two we’ll get a DLC that makes you regret your words and deeds. You try to fly your ship to your home planet, and the villains all grab on to your ship, which is in space, begging you not to leave. I seriously suspect they intended to incorporate face-turn scenes and just couldn’t find the time, because nothing but physical proximity implies these guys would have any emotional attachment to Hat Kid, and that’s a bit of a stretch. Anyway, Hat Kid brooms them off the ship to plummet down to earth and flies away. Sheds a tear about the whole thing. In the end, the moral was that Order good, but too much Order bad, except if you are Hat Kid, in which case Chaos good. Or maybe…

After finishing the game I decided to look into any left over secrets, since my completion score was in the 80s of percents. Turns out that if you use the camera badge to finagle the free look feature into a marginally open armoire somewhere on your spaceship, you can find a shrine to Hat Kid with a couple skulls, a bunch of blurry photos, and some strange symbols. If you doing this while wearing the mask that lets you see the secrets of the dead (for platforming and puzzle purposes, of course), there’s a bunch of alien text you can decode. And then there’s some youtube channels. And a twitter account. All sharing more of those decodable ciphers, all talking about vague dreamy apocalyptic histories and dark betrayals. Or something. That’s right, this game’s got a fucking ARG. I cut things off there. If the developer Gears for Breakfast is gonna make an occultist grimdark sequel to A Hat in Time, they can put up a trailer for it.

OKAY I’M DONE TALKING ABOUT A HAT IN TIME, the short of it is that I had a lot of mixed feelings but had fun.

How did I end up talking more about A Hat in Time than Breath of the Wild? What are my priorities?

Well, that’s everything I finished in May! Will I get back to anime and manga in June? Guess we’ll see! Again, let me know if you want me to do year-recap Marvel posts, since my liveblogging is mostly just shitposts, and the occasional attempt at thoughtfulness among those posts feels kind of out of place. Honestly, I’m probably gonna do that anyway, but it’s nice to see interest. If you read all this, thanks a lot! Go play Breath of the Wild and Wandersong.

[uniformbravo]

so...,.,,...,,.,..,......,.,.,..,.,,,,....,,.

it’s 3:30 am & ive just spent the last hour and a half looking up ways to recover data when u have no backups because i accidentally permanently deleted a large portion of the fic i was writing ,,,;;., , yy

i mean. i  m ea n uhhhh this is a lesson i needed to learn?? i guess???? i was um, writing it on my phone, like a fnngj idiot, on the generic note-taking app that has like, the bare minimum of writing capabilities, right. i even mentioned how i had to start a new document bc the first one was getting too laggy after 4000 words, right. it wasn’t very stable or uhhh reliable in the first place?? so why was i using it as the one place to store this fic???

im kind of devastated rn if that wasn’t a given uhhhhh i want to try and rewrite it but first i have to get over the loss and boy what a fuckin. what a doozy am i right hghghghuogooo

bc the thing is i already knew this wasn’t a very secure place to store it and had been considering making a backup , and thats actually what i was doing when i lost it? i have a part 1 and a part 2 right now and i had already transferred part 1 to my laptop via email by copying the whole thing & pasting it over, and that went super well. i went to do the same for part 2 and like. i started the selection at the top and dragged down, but i pulled down so far that my finger was over the keyboard and something stuttered since it was such a big document and uhh,, it stopped selecting but kept the portion i had already highlighted selected, & my finger was on the comma key i guess so it turned that whole selected portion into 3 commas like. all those words i had written turned into “,,,”

the thing about this app is there’s no option to save without quitting, if you exit out of it or back out in any way it autosaves your stuff. there is an undo button, but for some reason it wasn’t an option? it wasn’t highlighted so i guess it didn’t count what i’d just done as something that could be undone? & as soon as i realized that, thats kind of when i lost my marbles, which was my second mistake (or, like, 12th in the grand scheme of things)

because uh, the autosave thing also happens if the screen times out, and i didn’t think to force shut off my phone by taking out the battery until much later, so uh. the screen timed out while i was busy freaking out so it saved those commas so even though i didn’t exit out of the app or anything and just straight up took out the battery, when i turned the phone back on that shit was still royally fucked

it’s even more devastating that i could have saved it if i had thought fast enough, though, because after that i did a test where i deleted the commas and then immediately removed the battery, and when i turned on the phone again the commas were back so i just. oof

so yeahhhhhh that’s kind of a huge bummer.,,.,,,,,,,,,,,.,,.., i’ve looked up a lot of shit in desperation but i think there’s really nothing i can do to get it back, just precautions i can take in the future like mmm saving backups all the time and generally not writing on shitty phone apps that aren’t meant for what i use them for?? 

im kind of exhausted & i kind of dont want to go to bed just bc i know it’ll hurt to wake up and remember what happened but hfff i need sleep i guess.,,.,. maybe to clear my mind or something, so i can get started on rewriting?? i really wish this had happened to the part 1 instead because it’s a slow start to the story & really my least favorite part of the whole thing so far, i already considered rewriting that anyway. and this part that got deleted had one of my favorite scenes that i had worked on so im super upset about that, not quite sure how im gonna be able to recapture that but i had reread it enough times before, i think i can piece something together at least

ahhhhhhhhhh anyway i think i’ll sign off here uh. wow. what a night. everyone, please don’t write your beloved stories in unreliable apps like me, make backups & take screenshots instead of riskily copy/pasting the whole thing at once, it’s fuckin. super not worth the risk. be safe

[mia-cooper]

11 questions

Thanks for tagging me, @au-where-everyone-lived!

The rules:

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

Write 11 questions of your own

And tag 11 people

I tagged eleven random mutuals.

These are great questions, thanks!

1. Say I gave you all the money you need to take a nice long trip right now. Where would you go? What would you do?

I’d take my kids to visit family on the other side of the world, and if we happened to stumble into a Disneyworld or two on the way, I wouldn’t complain. (Then I’d leave the kids with family and sod off to Tuscany for a couple of weeks)

2. What did you want to grow up to be when you were a kid?

Aside from the usual astronaut, pop star and fashion designer? A writer. But before too long I realised I’m not cut out to turn my treasured hobby into a career. The pressure to make a living would destroy the pleasure I get from it.

3. Thoughts on Sudoku? Fun? Miserable?

I … have never played Sudoku… it’s maths, right? Not my thing, really. I like cryptic crosswords, though.

4. Any book recommendations?

Funnily enough, I just recommended Reay Tannahill’s ‘The World, the Flesh and the Devil’ to a friend. It’s a completely absorbing historical romance, full of war and plague and intrigue and religious hypocrisy and women who rule from the shadows.

5. Name at *least* one fictional world you’d like to visit. Name one that you’d want to avoid like the plague.

I’d love, love, LOVE to visit Narnia. But I’ll pass on Westeros, thanks.

6. I liked this one from the original list, so again, what’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?

The second time I went skydiving I had a really heavy cold and for the however-many-seconds of freefall the air was rushing directly into my nose and mouth and I could not breathe. At. All. I was this close to passing out. It was terrifying. I don’t feel the need to skydive a third time.

7. Borrowing another from the original list, what draws you to a character?

Can I say magnetism? Lol. Complexity, ambiguity, someone who’s morally grey until you reach their limits, or morally upright until their limits are tested. Someone with a cause and strong beliefs, particularly if they’re forced to rethink them or challenge them in some way.

8. What’s the weather like where you are right now?

It’s a beautiful balmy evening.

9. How would you describe the sky right now?

Velvety; the stars are just starting to appear.

10. Invent a superpower for you to gain.

The ability to grow several inches in height, and several cup sizes, whenever I approach a bar.

11. And last but most certainly not least; how was your day?

For the first day back after a long weekend, it was relatively enjoyable thanks!

 And now, here are my questions. Feel free to answer or ignore, as you choose.

1. If someone made a film of your life, would you want it in technicolour, black & white or lomo?

2. Who was the first fictional character you fell in love with and why?

3. Which of the five senses would you rather lose, if you had to: sight, hearing, touch, taste or smell?

4. If you were a vigilante, what would your signature weapon be?

5. Describe your ultimate kiss?

6. What’s something you’d like to do more of (or any of) in 2018?

7. What’s your favourite, and least favourite, cleaning chore?

8. Tell me two truths and a lie about yourself?

9. Do you ever wake up at 3am wanting to die about some random stupid shit you said eight years ago that probably nobody remembers but you?

10. Do you save your working document every five seconds or let autosave pick your ass up?

11. What song/artist are you currently obsessed with?

I tag: @kinzleyyy @kncrowder88 @aristofranes @admiralkatcornwellfan @gluecookie @cosmichyperthermiax @stcrflext @thraume @bandprincessbri @arcadia1995 @caladeniablue

[fuckyeahmovieclub-blog2]

GTA 5 Unlimited Money Glitch Story Mode Offline 100% Works

You guys want to make some money in GTA 5 story mode. I got you covered. I am your main boy daddy did today and today I am gonna show you guys a little GTA 5 story mode money glitch. This works on all consoles.

>> Click to Get Unlimited GTA 5 Free Money

The first thing is first before you guys do anything on this goddamn video we are watching make sure you guys do this when you guys press Start to go to settings and go all the way down the scroll down you see autosave turn that baby off because if it is bar on, trust me, you got to lose a lot of money because we need this baby off. this is important.

my first up you guys need to go to LCN click our markets goddamn it goes down t see this one over here this one right here bar boom bada bing click this one right here is a little Bob thing click Bob Bob mullet you got a little more going there clicking this thing

now you guys could put as much more as you want in here doesn't really put as much as you possibly want because we have autosave off if you guys happen to lose the money you that you don't lose it because you have autosave often the game doesn't save you can just keep army doing its if it doesn't work the first time me I am being a little generous.

>> Click to Get Unlimited GTA 5 Free Money

right now I am gonna put that in there bottle boom ba bada bing now once you guys have your money in there, I actually loaded into the game this way and look at right next and Bob malts goddamn ball right there three or if you guys don't know what this place is about a boom bada bing there it is. you might Randall you just load into the game with Michael and he is gonna be right next to goddamn mullet town once you guys get next to molt Ville hunt of nowhere just take you goddamn grenade thing out and just say know what I am done with this interior, not a big fan of it it doesn't fit my style and you start taking out the whole entire place inside use a rocket launcher.

you can use a goddamn a little Molotov you could easily use you goddamn stick if you won't, just stick just use goddamn grenades here make sure you guys destroyed the whole entire surroundings inside it out you guys are you here I'm just taking out the whole entire interior right here just start destroying it with you goddamn grenade launcher just like I'm doing it right here and that man just got unemployed right there and look at this we just got to destroy this whole entire place inside 

now let's not forget the outside because Bob's mold is goddamn ugly as all hell we want to take ours outside as well I recommend shooting the goddamn plants because they somewhat get destroyed shoot the windows as well because that's what you're gonna do get the BM on top as well because you guys need that one I don't know what tell you to need to do it you start destroying the whole entire little copper ooze gonna start coming out to make sure you guys get knight knighted by the copper ooze if you guys don't want to get Knight knighted and paid a $5,000 when you go to the hospital you can go to your bed and try to lay down but do not say got it don't you say you let you just let not gotten in bed and I know. 

>> Click to Get Unlimited GTA 5 Free Money

where you say I don't want to save him back out it's gonna skip a couple hours in the game you can do that or you just get that knighted buddy cops so make sure you guys do some damage to Bob's freaking ball the more damage you do the better from Bob's mullet look at this place and just got knighted by the cops and now it's gonna remove you to the hospital and that's what we can check the stock market now guys if it doesn't work the first time just keep on doing it over and over and over again again I'll save off and eventually you're gonna see some good stuff now it's good to bring me all the way back to the goddamn little freaking hospital and that's that we're just gonna check the profit we're gonna see if we made some good old money from Bob's goddamn long mullet from the country town now open your phone up go down to the LLC n we're gonna check the market to see my portfolio as you can see it's up 5% good great grand wonderful.

now you guys have an option right here you guys can sell it all okay you can live life on the edge like a fat guys freaking spoon out of nowhere you guys can say no but I'm gonna get myself a little night again and see if it actually goes up and I was parting here you guys are just you guys are testing the waters you thrown the dice time the goddamn hallway you might lose some profit so I recommend if you guys get a good return I recommend selling this all we're gonna see my profit for right now.

I'm gonna see if it's good we'll see if it actually did sign which il stand right now my ball is now it went down a little bit just a tad now you guys can do this you guys can sell it if you guys are getting scared you may be getting some fat greasy little sweaty hands you might want to sell it or that you can live life on the edge like a fat kid spoon and do this night not yourself again and it's probably a good chance you might lose some money.

>> Click to Get Unlimited GTA 5 Free Money

but it's not a good chance you might gain more percentage back now guys IRA ghin goddamn it you guys must have autosave often doing this to not have it on because if you have it on you'd be sitting there crying for years asking me why the hell did you tell me that I told you 4,000 times earnings gotten in video else yet now we're gonna see how much we got here my boys it went up geez 

no it's really slow one up a look at this pair of my boys 5.5 we've got some good profit going on right well we in satisfies so we're just gonna night-night ourselves again and we're gonna see what actually happens do we go up or do we go down does Bob mullets actually think give you a good profit and return the check this baby out because we don't like Bob's molar because who wears mall in 2019 so we're gonna check out the goddamn thing look at this so we're gonna see it a lot of booms went up again geez Louise look at that my voice 6.31 now we're gonna sell us all because god that's a lot this 

we're gonna sell this baby right here about a boom bada bing see also fear value we're doing good things over here so sells baby what you guys have a good percentage sell this all and look like that my boys got some good money so just gonna sell us all and look at this my boys look at the percentage return we got pretty darn good so Bob's mullet is somewhat actually good someone with a mole actually done something great for the world right here Bob's mullet some great things for your bank account in GTA 5 story mode - guys go do this now I believe it works on all consoles if you guys want to watch more freakin GTA 5 story more money glitches watching videos coming up my boys   

[sleepymarmot]

MEA liveblog #7

Spoilers!

Multiplayer

This interface is a mess. I move my mouse onto "exit lobby" and it turns into "kick player". Buttons just jump around and transform all the time.

And the APEX mission shit needs to be fixed. When you select a mission to play, don't direct me to lobbies who play the same enemy/map/difficulty but not as the mission! Join lobby, see "custom", exit lobby, select "custom game", re-select mission, join, end up in the same lobby, rinse, repeat...

At least I can end up second when I join on wave 5 as a human vanguard lol

F Human Vanguard card!

Tempest

Non-custom weapons of different rank shouldn't exist as separate items in the inventory! Unlocking a higher rank should upgrade the old item like in ME3! This stupid inventory system exists solely because of crafting! If you need inventory limits so much, let them apply only to the crafted items! I've already complained about rewards being lost with no warning if the inventory is full and it's still bullshit! 

I crafted the N7 chestpiece! 25% shield on kill (of course), 5% damage resistance, 2% shield restoration, 2% health&shield regen speed, 2% max shield. I called it "N7 Slayer X". And turns out, it was dad's armor...

Oh right, it needs a new color scheme!

Havarl

I like this ex-STG, he's talking properly.

I don't like the sound effect from Annihilation -- it's like water in my ears!

Hey Peebs, how do you immediately know where the next piece is as soon as we pick the current one?

Kadara

Here's the bar fight. Animation is not bad but has no energy.

Told the asari dancer that I'm done here and she needs to talk to the dude herself, but the quest still sends me back to him -_-

Tempest

So, Kesh was adopted?

Okay, Kalinda is 100% Marjolaine. Peebee's personal storyline is even more copy-pasted from Leliana than Drack's is copypasted from Wrex.

Aya

So many sidequests again!

The Moshae's words about the definition of victory! That's the smartest thing I've heard in this game in hours.

It's really weird to hear her talk so sweetly to me... When we first met she didn’t seem to like me.

When Vetra said people were staring at her, I couldn't resist suggesting they're just all in love...

I suggested taking people who sold their Aya slots onto the Nexus. That's not even charity -- the same ambassador gave me a task to convince angara to come there anyway! So this would kill two birds with one stone.

For the visitor who wanted contact with his family, I had to reload. The options didn't even seem too different... Got it right for the other two: gave an honest professional answer about health issues, and a confident casual answer about finding work.

Great, now I have to head back into the city to buy stuff... This is literally a fetch quest lol

Eos

Omg, the Architect is in orbit now!

The Roekaar fight in an old settlement was very chaotic and fun with Flamethrower/ED/Lance, though it'd probably be easier to just charge

Tempest

Aaaand Jaal gives me his loyalty mission. It's funny that I'm going to do my own love interest's mission last...

Jaal's LM

I continue to be unimpressed with the Roekaar being pure antagonists. :/

Didn't shoot the guy, told Jaal he was badass.

Why are loyalty missions so short?

BTW Ryder just looks wrong in N7 armor... She's not Shepard, that's not her allegiance or her story.

Tempest

Jaal, just as we're leaving Havarl you decided to invite me for a visit down there?

Turian ark

Avitus has very stylish armor

For fuck's sake, Bioware, why do you hate gay men so much?

I convinced Avitus to take the mantle. It was a very sentimental decision for Ryder -- because her situation is very similar. Her SAM and the connection he had with her father are unique, but she didn't think of that in that moment.

Nexus

"Better to find your wings as you fly" Easy for you to say, Sarissa, your predecessor wasn't a loved one

Tempest

I'd agree with Peebee about relationship and baggage, but of course I felt obligated to take the romantic option

(I don’t think there’s an option to agree with her, though, so it’s only for the best)

Voeld

Liam, Vetra, don't fight!

Whoops, sorry for leaving you to die in the purification field, Vetra

...I liked the old color scheme better. Green light looks more alien, but less pretty.

Nexus

Final memory -- here we go!

My theory was that the Archon was somehow Ellen, but that made so little sense I didn't even write it down :D This is simpler.

BTW there's finally Shepard's gender we had to select in the beginning -- in translated subtitles :D Didn't hear it even once in the audio -- could it be Bioware actually took their foreign audience into consideration? :O

Honestly, it's weird that the Reapers info is so secret... From the OT I got the impression that Shepard was yelling about it to everyone at every opportunity...

Fine, fine, you made me emotional with Liara's message.

Shit, I was expecting this decision...

I feel pretty sad now. That's all?

Peebee's LM

Oh, so that's why she lives in an escape pod :D I thought this was only a characterization thing, not a Chekhov's gun!

I said I wasn't mad, though I was a bit. But I mean Ryder *is* mad but also having the time of her life so...

Shit I just shot Kalinda instinctively lmao

Ok I replayed the entire sequence and Idk. This is really the hardest choice in the game...

I'm tempted to say "Yes, literally" :D

Since it's so hard to reaload, it's fair game to watch videos before deciding for myself. Okay, "Yes, literally" is way too harsh.

Alright, this Ryder is not going to make Peebee sad, but I've already planned a Renegade-ish playthrough with a Ryder who values knowledge over everything, so... :D

(Btw, I love that MEA's brand of a more ruthless protagonist is not "uncontrollable brute" but "intellectual snob". As tedious as this game is, I'm already super eager to play character who has those values & takes urgency of tasks seriously.)

This mission is enjoyable and the choice feels maybe the most meaningful... But it has all the classic Mass Effect problems. Kalinda sends a shitload of people to murder us, we murder them, but when she's helpless and we have a finger on the trigger all of that suddenly doesn't matter. Sidonis all over again. Sure, murdering people begging for help is bad in a lot of ways, but she did just try to kill us, a lot of times... Plus, why the fuck can't Ryder jump over and catch the Remnant thing?! That needed to be a second, Paragon interrupt after the Renegade "shoot her." And Ryder is a goddamn biotic, as is Peebee, as is Kalinda! Peebee, Pull is your first goddamn skill! It'd actually be completely plausible if the artifact had shields and/or armor and therefore immune to Pull or Singularity -- but not giving the characters even an idea to try is just stupid!

Tempest

Inviting Peebee to live with together made me revisit my room and inspired me to make some changes. You know what, I'm going to play music in my quarters and change into the short-sleeved pajamas. It's my own ship, why do I walk around it in street clothes? The jacket is stylish but too much to wear at home. I wish we had a "formal" outift for Nexus/Aya/other hubs in addition to the "casual" clothes we wear on the ship.

Shit I went to read someone's post about Peebee's LM and caught a spoilers about the romance post-LM

Addison is right, getting pregnant in that situation was irresponsible

Ah the continuity in this game. "Found more outposts"? I have every possible outpost and all planets at 100%!

"On hold: Place an outpost" bitch where

Voeld

What, there's still a cold hazard?! What was the point of the vault, then?!

Whoa, so the angara believe exaltation not just kills their people but destroys their immortal souls? Wow! That should have been said by a major character during the main story, not by an easily missed NPC!

Oh great, I died and the game refuses to load the last autosave

Dear game. Why did you create four autosaves for the same second. All glitched. Half hour of gameplay lost... God please let the last manual save work. I was sure I saved in between, but just now my PC decided that we still have daylight savings clock change when we do not, and the timestamps on all recent saves are messed up. This especially sucks because I'm trying to rush Peebee's romance because I don't know when the sex scene comes up but I want to make sure it's not when my mom is home while I play it on her PC lol

Tempest

Fuck, that was cute! And Peebee did tackle Ryder, as promised! :D I wonder what she says through Zap in the platonic version...

Addison please don't say the baby screams "like a banshee". I fucking jumped.

"Before you say anything: no PDAs" :D

Level 50! Time to craft myself a powerful new Dhan. I've been running with rank three all this time...

I love that whenever you ask about Kalinda and then return to the general dialogue tree you say "Let's talk about something else" and Peebee responds "YES. Please."

Voeld

Alright, so: the kett leaders are dissatisfied with the Archon because he hasn't reported to them recently, the communication with the kett homeworld(?) might be disrupted in general and the Scourge might be to blame.

Tempest

Damn, SAM has a pretty insightful speech about death! The only thing that can't be rationalized after experiencing it, which is why it fascinates. I actually haven't heard it explained this way before.

My movie night quest hasn't progressed since I brought Jaal his device...

Eos

Ryder watching and playing football with two giant guns floating near her hips... omg

Elaaden/Kadara

What? I'm completely confused by all these identical salarians.

I don't understand this choice. He promises to give us the intel if we let him go... what proof do we have besides his word? And how would arresting him stop us from getting intel from his computer etc?

Reloaded to see both options, chose to arrest him

Havarl

I'm not hugging Jaal's mother wtf

Ryder has surprisingly good facial animation when Jaal shows his mementos

In theory Ryder should like Jaal for being such a nerd but the only thing he makes me feel is mild irritation. His interest in "taking things apart" is an informed quality just like his supposed emotional openness. It's not reflected in his dialogue or storyline at all.

And now I'm finished with all quests in the ally category. I wanted to finish the game asap, but now that we know the patch is coming on Thursday, I'll wait for it.

Multiplayer

Extracted from Silver for the first time as Human Vanguard (level 8, rank IV)! It was against Remnant, so Observers and Destroyers were the only problem. Nullifiers are ridiculously easy for a melee character -- like Ravagers, but without acid.

Got Krogan Vanguard from a pack. Will I have to tolerate the Rage overlay?

The first game with Kroguard was going well, he's got a stong melee even though he's slow... and then wave 6/upload/Kett killed us all :(

Completely unrelated to anything, but I just realized that if you pick the romantic option in the escape pod with Peebee, they don't actually have sex. Call me stupid because that's what Peebee's initial condition is, but I thought Ryder's response changed her mind! When Ryder said "Let's not rush things" I interpreted and meant it in the emotional sense, as "It'd be dishonest to hide that I have a crush on you, but you don't owe me anything, and if you don't ready for a Serious Relationship and Grand Romance yet that's fine because I'm not either, so let's just hook up and leave reflection for later" -- which I thought was pretty sweet and interesting? Because this whole relationship to me was built on the fascinating contrast between Peebee's emotional reservations and casual/flirty attitude, and conversely, on Ryder very consciously respecting Peebee's emotional space. Maybe I just fundamentally don't understand sex and romance lmao. But if character A propositions character B, character B says they have feelings for character A, and the scene promptly fades to black, I assume they do the do because that's how these things are filmed? Only in comparison with the other option, which is actually pretty explicit, it became obvious to me that's not what the director meant. I'm pretty disappointed because I thought it was a good subversion of Jack's "either sex or romance" thing in ME2. And it messes with my headcanon/characterization... I guess I'll have to retcon it into one of the two options. I'll probably go with casual, not romantic in that case. But I just read that Peebee will tell you she's glad you said no, so... :/

Multiplayer

Failed a Silver APEX mission agains the Remnant as a human vanguard :(

Got an asari sentinel!

The patch is here, but I can't launch the game now :( This needs some work.

Ugh, I stop playing for two days and have no motivation to pick the game up again...

[realfinemood]

Thoughts so far, no real spoilers but up to just after the first mission. Definitely not past where the trial ended. Even less spoilery version: I’m enjoying the hell out of it so far!

The annoying first:

They need to fix the bullshit where you can’t save during priority missions, or at least autosave more. I died at the lightning rod place and resumed the game all the way at the other building and had to re-explore the ship to get back to the fight. 

The one thing I wanted to fix with the controls and it’s not an option. Every time I try to hit the touchpad to open the weapon wheel, I apparently hold it too long and holster my weapon instead, which may or may not have been the cause of the above dying. (Why is this even an option when in the middle of fighting? Clearly no one would want to do this intentionally?)

I’m still not sure if the map updates the color if you’ve been to a place? I thought it did at first but then I started second guessing because the opposite seemed to be true.

I am so distracted by Addison’s makeup what the actual fuck Bioware what were you thinking?

The pre-release wank related:

I haven’t really had any animation issues? I’m not a fan of the way Ryder hunches over when she walks, but that just seems to be because Bioware’s apparently never watched how a real person walks. No weird smiling or T-poses or massive glitches or anything like that so far though. 

The good:

I’m so glad the conversation wheel is more like DAI’s instead of straight Paragon/Neutral/Renegade, even if I had to look up what the symbols meant cause that went away too fast. 

My DadRyder totally looks like a babe like his kids so I like how they did that. Admittedly I didn’t stray too far from what was suggested for BroRyder, which probably helped.

THE FIRST PLANET IS SO PRETTY. I keep stopping just to take screenshots of everything. (Though I assume my Inquisitor is hard at work closing the breach just off screen...) 

Also A+ on actually being able to see out the windows. That was really well used.

Personally I am 100% okay with not being able to direct the squad’s powers in fights. It’s not like I really told anyone in the trilogy how to fight (other than constantly forcing Garrus to actually use the fucking cover you dipshit you are a sniper what are you doing.) Ya’ll do you, I’m gonna be over here trying not to die. 

I’m really glad I picked Technician because Overload is a super great starting power. A+ choice me. I Once I remembered to actually update my skills after leveling up, I also enjoyed finally having a turret in game. (I miss my Quarian Engineer from ME3 multiplayer. I hope they bring someone like her back. Also I still need to try multiplayer out.)

THEY TALK SO MUCH I LOVE IT. Seriously though, the fact that Liam and Ryder were running around and actually talking to each other the whole time is pretty great. Hopefully they don’t suddenly run out of stuff to say or go huge stretches without talking like DAI.

Companions:

I like Liam. Still not planning on romancing him this time around at least, but I think I was right about my Ryder and him being bros. He seems pretty cool. Maybe a little trigger happy but still. The way they gradually explained Ryder’s backstory through him and Ryder’s banter was very well done. I hope we get to grab that beer at some point.

Cora’s alright so far but I can’t tell if she’s supposed to be Ryder’s age or her dad’s. She seems much older in any case. Nothing about her is jumping out to me so far, though I did through out a token “but she should be Pathfinder” just on general principle. 

IDK if Natalie Dormer counts as a “companion” as such but she’s my fav so far. (And I’m also enjoying hearing Jamie Clayton even if it’s just through a giant tv screen.)

And now I’m off to explore the Nexus some more and get involved in random people’s nonsense because of eavesdropping. And possibly find where my room is so I can see what the deluxe version clothes are.

[tilly-tali]

finished andromeda. i need to chat. hit me up. impressions under the cut.

granted i have never played at release before, i have never encountered so many bugs/glitches in my life. nav points not updating, enemies spawning inside of rocks, un-scanable/non-interactive quest related datapads, and thanks for ruining my movie night group shot peebee! (she was sitting inside of scotty instead of on his lap or beside him - rude!) sometimes even a reload was not enough. luckily the final battle sequence had enough autosave points because that one was the worst.

speaking of last battle, i found it kind of underwhelming/lackluster. maybe it was just the normal setting. but im not usually so good as to need to play hardcore.

as for the ending/overall storyline, i was slightly disappointed. it just seems kinda small now that its all over. like i understand its probably the first in however-long-new series (though with all the negativity i worry the series is at risk, but i hope not!) and that they need to get things established, but it just didnt have that ‘fullness’ that i felt at the end of the original mass effect. yes they needed to leave some doors open for the future storylines, for the dlc’s we know are coming eventually, but some things seem incomplete in a bad way. i know the epilogue is all ‘we have so much more exploring to do’ but what about the ancient ai - which if you saved is missing from sam node if you leave hyperion and come back to meridian after your interview with keri or whatever else. what about the benefactor and the outlaws/collective? my sense of resolution was not achieved, it doesnt feel complete in the way me1 did, or hell even 2.

other things get a little nitpicky:

we had to select m or f shepard in the cc, but the one time shep is mentioned, its neutral and by title only, so what was the point?

i thought we were supposed to be able to customize ryders quarters on the tempest, did they really just mean the ship collection?

the barrage of new emails everytime you went back to the tempest (though this might be due to the way i played in that i never left a planet until i was basically done with all the available quests at the time) and the fact that there was always a cut scene upon entering it, like sometimes i just wanted to get back on my ship, still docked on eos or whatever and just chat up my squadies, check my email, make some new gear. i didn’t need to lift off for that.

i was also disappointed in the designs of the turians and asari (salarians looked amazing though!). some of the coloring on the krogan or their turian like facial markings was also not cool to me. i also think the additions to sloane kelly were a little too much (though i have yet to assess her since the addition of the new patch to see if she was updated). yeah sure shes a battle hardened outlaw queen and should look distinctive, but the heterochromia, plus the space makeup, plus the tats and extensive scarring was maybe overkill, especially since reyes is so freshfaced and generic in comparison. its kinda bioware’s thing though, put crazy makeup on the bad guys (ie tarohne in da2) but still. suvi’s coloration also grates on my nerves: orange hair, pink lips, red suit? ahh. but i am happy addison looks much better after the patch.

and on the patch subject: the new number key prompts for dialogue choice annoy the shit out of me! i mean yes its nice if thats how you like to pick your choices but the numbering order seems weird to me, the fact that they all say [num] execpt for 6 is just strange. and it looks cluttered, especially if youve played almost the whole game without them. numbering them [1] dialogue choice [2] dialogue choice would be so much better.

one thing i do wish for would be a way to ‘pick’ reyes and the collective without letting the sniper hit sloane. like my ryder wouldn’t have let her die like that but he wouldn’t have left her in power either. i wouldn’t have minded if reyes still ends up killing her at some point in that mission, but just not outright with a cheap shot like the one he took.

i also think the favorites/profiles set up was difficult to set up and maneuver. i never got it figured out (kept deleting my favorites or removing profiles) and so i just used the same setting for the whole game. might have gotten more use out of new fancy powers and combos if i had been able to make it work. being able to control squadmate powers for combos might also have been nice, or atleast know they were using a power so i could plan accordingly. i really felt i was doing all the combat work.

ok so i get that all if the above is on the negative side. but its easier to pick out all the stuff i disliked, but i did like it overall. i will be playing more, just maybe a little less than the original series. i should have made a post closer to the beginning of my playthrough, when all things were new and exciting. things i did like:

general game play worked for me.

2 words: jump jets.

liam kosta is my fave. such a sweetie.

everywhere was pretty.

nomad = mako = happy me.

old game references.

ryder is always cute, twin also cute.

banter and sarcasm.

capt dunn is the coolest lady yo.

final memory unlock blew my mind.

getting to play as your twin for all of 30 seconds.

things i have questions on:

is the nexus uprising book worth a read? does it mention the benefactor and/or the general beginning of the initiative?

jien garson is human and the initiative was her idea, yes? how did the other races get involved, did she invite them, want them to join, or was it solely human based originally? did she bring them in on it just for money to keep it going for humanity, prior to the benefactor stepping in?

where is my twin when i return to visit meridian?!?!?! i left her resting in my quarters on the hyperion to go to the nexus for my final interview with keri (which ps she tells you shes going to go to meridan anyways so like why couldnt she have just arrived and i speak to her there on site instead of flying all the way back to the nexus?) and when i come back again, shes no where to be found?!?! like im glad shes up and out of bed and feeling better, but don’t be going off on crazy missions just yet sis!