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#so i was like. i'll do some dishes if you will
retiredteabag · 3 days
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soft Toji dog-sitting for a generous!reader
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pt. 1 - pt. 2 - pt. 3 - pt. 4 - pt. 5 - pt. 6
cw for this chapter: discussion of assault (reader)
synopsis: Toji was quite accustomed to objectifying himself for a check. And to be frank, far worse actions as well. Now he’s not sure what to do with himself after meeting the kind and generous owner of the dog he pet-sits for.
read along as Toji grows more comfortable around you despite his past.
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Try as he might, Toji could not escape the sounds of your frightened voice from the night prior. He slept horribly, tossing from his side to his back only to stare up at your ceiling fan. When he finally got up, he busied himself with cleaning the house before your return.
You had told him not to worry about staying past the afternoon, that you expected to be back in time to feed the dog, but Toji insisted on staying. He wanted to see you. More importantly, he wanted to speak to you. There were several things he would have liked to have spoken about, but the one thing weighing on his mind was what had happened the night prior.
Your desperate apologies, your wavering voice. All of it felt so disconcerting.
So Toji stayed.
He stayed and washed the sheets, stayed and made up the bed, stayed and swept the floors.
He was a decisive man. If he wanted to do something? Consider it done. So why? Why was he second-guessing himself when he heard your car pull up the driveway? Why did his heart pound as if he was in some kind of danger? Why did he find himself pacing, looking for something to occupy himself with? All so he didn't seem like he was waiting for you.
But he was, he was waiting for you.
A pause permeated the foyer and kitchen when he heard you open the door and for a moment his throat felt tight, you hadn't seen him yet. His grip on the rag he was "washing dishes" with tightened. He heard a light gasp and spun around. Finally.
"Toji! I didn't realize you were here, I didn't see your car." You spun around to peek out the window, Toji dropped the towel and moved to the island. Closer to you. To observe you. You looked fine.
"Glad you made it back. He's been waiting for you." Toji pointed to the dog that was currently bounding around you in a show of tender love.
You kneeled down and scratched the dog's neck. "Thank you so much for watching him, I know how much he loved your company, but, Toji, how did you get here?"
He smiles, "Took the bus, needed gas." He didn't, he just wanted an excuse to stay. But by the look on your face, this was clearly the wrong response.
"Oh, my- Toji! Oh! You should have said, I would pay for your gas!" You had shot up at his statement and were looking at him with embarrassed disappointment.
"Oh please" He rolled his eyes, "You're plenty generous enough."
"I don't want you riding the bus at night, I'll give you a ride, or I can order you an Uber, like before."
Toji was thinking fast, why were you so keen on his leaving? Was it because you were uncomfortable? Or did you feel like it was a burden for him to stay? Whatever the answer, he was still caught up on the fact that you didn't want him riding the bus. How silly, to worry about his safety.
"Nah, it's no problem, I was staying here regardless." He shrugged.
"Was everything alright? Did you have everything you needed?" You smile at him and he eases a breath, okay, no more talk of leaving.
"Everything and then some. You've got a real nice place." He took a step closer to scratch the dog's ear. "Good trip?"
He didn't want to push. He wouldn't. But he couldn't help the curiosity. Especially when he watched your face falling at his question.
"Oh... yes, well" You sighed, shrugged, and avoided eye contact. "Work, you know."
"So..... not a good time." Toji tried for a tone of joviality but your eyes did not brighten.
"No. Wish I could've been here." You spoke so quietly that he could barely hear. He was worried that, within a moment, you would call him a cab, or usher him to your BMW. This was it.
Toji had been hungry for information since your text. It was for no reason other than his experience with law enforcement that he stayed up last night. Thinking about what type of situation you were in.
"Can I ask you a question?" Toji began, your head whipping to his face, nodding slightly, "It's about last night."
He noticed instantly- your eyebrows rose, along with your shoulders. You took a breath in as your chin lifted up. Unaware to you, your arms encircled your torso. You were so easy to read.
You didn't speak though. Toji took the silence once again. "Something happened, while you were away." Not a question, he realized as it came out. Damn, what was he saying? You didn't respond and he scrambled for the right words.
"Did-I mean. Did something happen?" So eloquent.
You sighed, looking at your shoes. Right on cue, your dog whimpered at your feet. "Yeah...' You draw it out, there's humor in your tone. "I didn't want to go on the trip anyway." Sighing, you look up at the ceiling, Toji gets the feeling that you were speaking to yourself.
"Didn't realize you saw a lot of crime in your business." How is it he can hold eye contact so steadily? How is it he can look through to your soul?
"Hmm?" You raise a brow, and then your eyes grow, "Oh! No! No! I don't." He laughs from his chest. The prospect of criminal activity leaves you aghast. "It wasn't a crime! Well..." You begin that mumbling "talking-to-yourself" way of speech, "Not a serious one, I've had problems with him for ages now."
Toji stops. You stop. You said too much.
"Him?" Toji's brows are stitched tightly together. Had he misheard?
"Oh!" You begin, catching his eyes that are glued to you. "It's not serious. If it was I would do something. It's not that!" You huff out, “Not like that…”
But Toji hadn't said anything. He remains silent. Waiting for you to continue. The dog begins to pace. You run a hand through your hair and then wave nonsensically as if to ward off the air around you.
"Who are we talking about." Toji's voice has only once sounded like this. It had sounded this way over the phone that night he carried your dog a mile, drove him to the vet, and silently watched you bandage his hands.
It had sounded like this when he was desperate.
"Aagh!" You shook your head. Dispelling some unhappy thought or memory. "I'm not... really supposed to be speaking about all this. It's been handled." You wave your hands dramatically, making a show of finding the time, you start up again, "Oh goodness, look at the clock, Toji let me get you a ride so you can be home for dinner!"
"I'd like to hear about this actually." He doesn't move. He slowly maneuvers his head to follow your gaze. "Having trouble with a co-worker?"
Toji had his fair share of experiences with unsavory characters in his time working in different industries. They were never too difficult to handle, though.
You laugh painfully, "Unfortunately, yeah, but there's really nothing to do..." Your making "shooing" motions with your hands again, motioning between him and the door.
"That why you didn't wanna go on this trip?" He watches your motion - ignores it.
"Gosh, yes. You know how it goes." Toji hums.
"Police involved?" He watches you. Your hands shiver to a stop, you turn to meet his eyes, suddenly still.
"No." You look at him. "No, it was handled before that."
"But he wasn't fired." His head slants to the left.
"No reason to fire him." You're looking at him differently now. You sound different now. Finite. Tired.
"Well, if police could be involved, there has to be some reason." He looks at you, but you're not speaking. You're not smiling. You're not moving.
"He was the one to make you cry that night." He asks, but it's not a question this time either.
"I think you should go get dinner, Toji." You speak softly, but there is really no room for disagreement allowed.
"There's gotta be something, just tell your boss if you don't wanna work with some dickhead." He's trying to help, he is, but it's coming out all wrong. He doesn't know the situation, and he's never had a real job before, he doesn't know - that even though your position is one of power - although you are high up in a huge conglomerate - although you have a million opportunities in front of you that he's never been offered - although you make real, honest money - some of the most evil people are in those positions as well.
And things that, he, a killer, a prostitute, a gambler, a criminal, could never imagine even in his most dark moments, go on, under the veil of the shiny "opulence" so easily desired.
"He's not just a colleague, Toji." Your sentences are chopped as they leave your lips. Toji realized suddenly that the only reason you're speaking now is because he has obviously made you upset. "He's a stakeholder's son. And everyone loves him. Trust me. I've reported him before. But nothing comes of it. It just." You sigh, detached. "It just makes me look bad. He's popular and charismatic, and everyone thinks he's.... he's the best! So there. He can do what he wants. He can touch who he wants. He can make decisions for everyone else. And there's nothing I can do, actually."
Toji is taken aback, and your dog huffs at your legs, "I'm sorry..." You mutter behind your hands. Likely embarrassed at your lengthy diatribe. But Toji takes no notice of your apology.
"He touched you?" There is something new now, something Toji does understand, and this, this will not happen again, he is sure of it.
"Just briefly. And he was drunk. So what does it matter." Your hands remain in front of your face. A grievously aggravated tone in your voice for the first time.
"It matters all the same. It matters- it matters-" Toji is racing for the right thing to say but he’s never been good with words.
He has experienced being touched when he did not like it. He had experienced allowing somethings to happen for a dollar. But he had never been in the position of being attacked. He had never been the weaker of two people. But you, he cannot image such a feeling. Such a feeling being completely uncontrolled.
And suddenly he's remembering your texts, your jittery voice, your apologies and he wants to puke.
"Why not go to the police. Something must be done. Y/n, please."
"I can't." He bends down to see your sunken face, trying to spot any tears. "What if nothing happens? What if I make a fool of myself? What if- Toji, what if I lose my job?"
Seeing now, the darkness within what he believed to be grandeur, he wonders if you are really any better off than he.
"You won't. Y/n- I, I can do it. I can get this... handled." His mind is flooded with memories, a man, someone who worked for his handler, he was good with technology, good with blackmail. His thoughts were interrupted by a chuckle.
"No-Toji, that can't happen. It just... I don't think that's possible. I'm just." You heave a breath, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said a thing. I think I'm just tired. It's okay."
"No." He's shaking his head. Slow. But you don't hear him. You've closed him off. You've resigned yourself and he wonders, sickeningly, how long you have been resigned for.
That night grew dark faster than either of you knew. You had told him not to think about it. You told him to let it go. But that night, reminded of a similar evening he spent in a car that was paid to bring him back to his apartment. He considered the situation.
When he climbed his way into his dark apartment, he did not hesitate. Measured steps brought him to the ventilation above the stove in his kitchen. He reached up, grabbed the flip phone found there, a burner he knew remained.
He didn't even mull it over before he sent the text.
"Need a favor. Call me."
And he didn't sleep that night until he'd been back in contact with the man he thought he was done working with for good.
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kikidoesfanfic · 3 days
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Woof, I mean, hey
Written for the @strangerthingswritersguild demogorgon daily prompt 'puppy chow' (happy birthday @bobamews)
>On ao3<
"I'd keep an eye on that if I were you," Wayne says, gesturing at the bag of dog food Steve's carrying.
There's a stray that's taken up hiding under the Munson trailer, all round with a litter and such a sweetheart, Steve has been trying to befriend her enough to coax her inside for a bath for a few days now.
"Uncle Wayne, no!" Eddie whines, and now Steve's intrigued, Wayne's looking at Eddie with a positively shit eating grin, the two having a staredown neither seems willing to break.
"What am I keeping an eye out for exactly?" Steve asks.
"Well, back when Eddie first came to live with me,"
"Wayne please."
"There was this skittish little pup hangin' round the park, skinny as anythin' and nobody seemed to own it."
"I'll do the dishes for a month," Eddie says, and Wayne pauses, probably tempted because he hates doing the dishes, and with Steve cooking most nights both Munson men trade off on the chore. He must decide it's worth it though, because he continues.
"So, Eddie begged and begged, big sad cow eyes that I couldn't say no to." Wayne looks to Steve now, "of course I had to buy a little bag of the puppy chow, the kibble stuff."
Eddie, knowing Wayne is unmovable, dramatically flops face down onto the couch.
"But see, the scrawny thing wouldn't get close to eat the food when we were out there, even birds scared the little guy away. So Eddie-" Wayne says, starting to chuckle. "So Eddie thought-" he cuts himself off again with another laugh, Eddie groaning in protest, slightly muffled by the sofa cushion.
"Eddie thought if the pup saw him eatin' the food, he'd know it was safe, that he was safe."
"Aww Eddie, that's so cute!" Steve coos, dropping the bag beside the door to go over and kneel next to the couch.
"Yep, that's me, so cute." Eddie says quickly, head popping up to glare at his uncle. "And that's where the story ends, right Uncle Wayne."
"Sure," he acquiesces, and Eddie looks momentarily relieved until Wayne tacks on, "if you ignore the part where he decided they tasted pretty good as a snack and hid half the bag in his room for later."
"BETRAYAL," Eddie shouts, jumping up on the couch to point an accusatory finger at Wayne, "by my own flesh and blood!"
Steve, meanwhile, is laughing so hard he's bent double, he'd stood to make sure Eddie wouldn't fall off the couch when he yelled, but when Wayne's words processed... well.
"You kept eating it?" Steve wheezes, and Eddie turns to slap at his shoulder.
"No, go back, I'm cute remember! Wayne, look what you did!"
"I can get set some aside from the bag if you like, but I'm not kissing you if you have dog food breath." Wayne chuckles again.
"I changed my mind, pretty much immediately!"
"Yeah, but only 'cause-"
"NO. NOPE. TIME TO GO." Eddie yells, cutting Wayne off, jumping hastily from the couch and shoving at Steve to get him towards their room. "La la la la we can't hear you!"
"Only 'cause he felt guilty for stealing the dogs food" Wayne yells behind them, just as Eddie's about to slam the door.
"No," Eddie despairs, drawing out the word, thumping his head on the door frame a time or two before Steve can stop him. "You're the worst!" He turns and pouts, eyes big and imploring as he looks at Steve, "you can't tell anyone about this, the kids will never let me hear the end of it."
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me Eds," he says with a fond smile. "Though, I don't think it's me you have to worry about, won't Wayne be home during Hellfire this week?" Eddie's face turns panicked, hurrying back down the hallway, leaving a giggling Steve behind.
"Hey Uncle Wayne, I ever tell you you're the best Uncle a guy could have?"
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*Preview* Still Untitled (Gojo Satoru oneshot)
Hi. I've still been working on this super self-indulgent thing and I still love it and I realized it's partially because I wanted it to have a healthy relationship with them learning and growing together. People aren't perfect. And this story is meant to showcase that just a tiny bit. Still don't have a title 🙃 and still don't know if I'll finish it, but here's another lil preview! I might post a lil bit of the story that I've been drafting based off The Vow at some point, too... 🤔
Kiko’s Masterlist
Frustration oozed from her pores as she shoved the front door closed and slipped her shoes off. A shitty day at work had been accompanied by shitty luck on the way home.
She’d wanted to stop and get some of the sweets Satoru loved so much as an apology for yelling and accusing him that morning, but she’d been held up at work, and the shop had been closed by the time she was finally able to leave. Just her luck. She just hoped his favorite takeout was enough to make up for the lack of treats. 
Grumbling to herself, she froze at the sight of Satoru watching her cautiously from the couch.
“Hi,” Rinko greeted awkwardly, inwardly cringing when he just raised his eyebrows. “Did you– how was your day?”
“Bit of a rough start,” he began drily, shrugging. “Was fine after that. Got some grading done. Yours?”
“Same,” she replied, gnawing on her bottom lip.
I’m sorry for acting like a deranged bitch this morning and accusing you of throwing my work ID away when I was actually just too stupid to check all the pockets of my bag.
She just needed to spit it out.
I’m sorry for yelling at you–
Instead, she held the bag of takeout up for him to see.
“I got dinner on the way home,” she informed him lamely, and he nodded, pushing himself to his feet.
“I’ll grab plates.” He kissed her cheek lightly as he walked past, the guilt in her stomach growing at the gesture of affection. “Thanks, baby.”
Spit it out.
They ate in silence, her gut churning with every moment that passed between them while they sat on either side of the table.
When they finished, she shoved herself to her feet, feeling antsy as she retrieved their plates and fled to the kitchen.
She’d waited too long now. She should have just apologized as soon as she got home. It wasn’t that hard. Why was she struggling so much? Why was it so difficult for her to just admit she’d been wrong? What if this was the final straw after he’d said that they needed to work on things? What if–?
“I can do the dishes since you got dinner.” Satoru’s voice jolted her from her thoughts, and she jumped.
“No, I’ve got it,” she replied, turning the water on hastily as she blinked against the tears that had formed in her eyes. “Just got distracted.”
Why was she crying when she’d been the one wrong? It was selfish of her to cry when he was the one who should be upset. If she kept stalling, then he really would realize that he shouldn’t have even bothered trying to fix things when they weren’t working. That he really should have just broken up with her instead of wasting his time.
“I’ve got these,” she repeated, fighting to keep her voice even. She would apologize once she’d gotten a hold of herself so he didn’t think she was trying to make him feel bad. “It’s the weekend, so you should–”
“You worked today,” he argued gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Baby, it’s not a big deal. I can–”
“I’ll do it!” Rinko snapped defensively, her voice cracking as another wave of guilt slammed into her. Panic settled in her chest, and her jaw trembled under the weight of his stunned silence. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have– fuck. Satoru, I’m sorry. Please don’t–” please don’t give up on me.
One of his arms wrapped around her waist, the other turning the faucet off before pulling her away from the sink.
“Take deep breaths,” he urged. “I’m right here.”
Shaking her head, she bit back the pathetic sob that almost broke free. She’d fucked up. She didn’t deserve him comforting her after lashing out at him twice. At this point, she couldn’t blame him if he decided she wasn’t worth it anymore.
“Rinko, you gotta breathe,” he reminded her calmly. “I’m here.”
I don’t deserve for you to be here.
“Doesn’t fuckin matter what you think you deserve,” he stated firmly. “S’not how this works, sweetheart.”
“How–”
Her voice caught in her throat, the lump forming stopping the words before she even knew what she was trying to say.
“Breathe first.” Satoru took a deep breath, the feeling of his chest rising and falling against her back somehow anchoring her own shallow gasps. “That’s it.”
Blinking quickly again, she sucked in a deep breath before finally blurting the words out around her hiccups.
“I’m so-sor-ry for blam-ing you this mm-morning.” 
“I know you are, baby,” he replied, almost sounding amused. “I forgive you.”
“And I’m sorry for yelling. And for snapping at you. And–”
“I forgive you, Rinko-chan,” he repeated, nudging his nose against her cheek. “Thank you for apologizing.”
“I shouldn’t have accused you of throwing my ID away,” she continued, shrinking in on herself. “And I shouldn’t have snapped at you, either.”
“No,” he hummed in agreement. “But you did. You were panicking. Doesn’t make it okay, but I probably would’ve too, so I understand.”
“But–”
“I love you,” he cut her off, squeezing her tighter. “I’m not gonna stop loving you just because you snapped when you were upset.” 
She squirmed, and he rested his chin on her shoulder.
“S’where you tell me you love me too, ya know,” he pouted. “No pressure or anything–”
“I do love you,” she whispered, her throat tight again as tears slid down her cheeks. “Satoru, I’m so sorry–”
“Already forgiven,” he reminded gently. “Quit beating yourself up, baby. It happens. We both get upset sometimes. Thank you for apologizing and for getting dinner on the way home.”
“I should’ve just apologized when I got home,” she admitted, sniffling. “I’m sorry I didn’t. But I– thank you for–”
“I was giving you space earlier because I didn’t wanna make you feel worse or like I was pressuring you, but I forgot that’s not how you think,” he murmured. “I like space, but that doesn’t help you. Giving you space just gives your brain time to overthink things.”
Her mouth pulled down into a grimace, and he chuckled.
“We know each other pretty well by now, yeah?” he teased. “We’re okay, Rinko-chan. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”
Closing her eyes, she nodded and leaned into him.
“Go sit down,” he ordered, releasing her and pushing her out of the kitchen. “I’ve got the dishes– uh-uh,” he swatted her ass lightly when she went to protest, “go sit your cute little ass down and keep my spot warm for me while I do the dishes.”
She loved this man with her entire heart.
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naomiknight-17 · 10 months
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Alright bitches let's get this done
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sciderman · 1 year
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Me clicking “see all” on the tags of that post on why Nate likes Peter: “Holy shit”
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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
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salvadorbonaparte · 9 months
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I don't know why but when I'm home long enough I'll just turn into a teenager again. Fighting over stupid things. Crawling into my room afterwards
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The love/hate relationship with my coworkers is so real lmao like why are they like this
#not snz#I'm just having fun#tho there has been sneezing bc there's so much fucking dust everywhere#I've been at the station for a hot minute#bc most of our guys are still out on fires#so there's just like nobody here#and i like money so I'm vibing with getting paid for being here extra days#but there's just a few of us here rn and we have like nothing to do bc we're hardly getting assignments#so we're just fucking around#and i have like the first responder version of cards against humanity#so we're playing that to kill the time and it's great lmao#but also some of them were asking me random questions#bc apparently the answers and explanations you give say somrthing about you idk#it was some bullshit but we were having fun with it#but the way they were laughing at every single answer i gave like hello#you fucking asked lmao#the nerve tho when they asked for an animal i like and three reasons why#and then said that that's how people view me and scream laughed bc 'it's accurate' like bro fuck off lmao#but i am having a good time like i adore these guys#they drive me crazy but that's my second family right there#plus with all the free time we get I've been trying different recipes and so far no complaints lmao#made a pasta dish tonight that was a big hit bc literally everything was from scratch incuding the noodles#like that's how much time we have lmao#anyway tonight is my last night at the station then i can go home which is a relief#we've all been sleeping on the floor and couches lmao#there are bunkhouses but the women's quarters are unusable so we're all staying in the rec building instead#i told them it was fine and they could stay in the bunkhouse but they were appalled by the suggestion lmao#so we're all vibing rn watching tv and I've literally never felt like I've belonged somewhere more so I'm thriving#anyway I'll probably delete this later I'm just happy rn lmao
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moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again
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#she keeps mimicking how ive been living and now that ive been sliding back and restricting again due to stress#she's been body checking around me more talking about how much she works out how 'toned' she looks#and dishing up smaller portions than me only eating half and then saying 'oh i'm so full...marie#if you can't finish yours just throw the rest out...'#she had her friend over yesterday and the poor woman made the mistake of confiding in my mother and i about her ed#and i gave her some advice for recovery & let her know that anorexia is hard to tackle esp when you're taking care of someone else at the#same time but its doable..and she was asking about what i do when i relapse#and obv i didnt go into detail so as not to like. give any ideas. but it was nice to have someone Nice to relate to on that front#immediately my mom jumps in with 'oh i restrict too! thats what i do! i go days without eating and count my calories.#marie doesnt work out like i do because their therapist said not to..but i work out so i can stay toned and confident.' like no you dont#it hurts me that shes doing this shit to herself but i know shes doing it in front of me to feel superior because she Always Has#its CYCLICAL with her. as soon as my gf left the mask came back off and she was right back to the mama i know#using MY CLOTHES to body check using MY MIRROR infront of me i feel insane.#like i told her i feel disgusting because i gained two pounds and im at 114 now and she immediately started talking about her weight and#that we need to stop buying 'junk food'#MOMM....OH MY GOOOD...#whatever whatever . i'll get over it in a few mins im just pissy in general and i feel like i live with a 15 yr old sometimes.#ed ment#i will say it uswd to be worse when she wasnt in therapy n shit but hhghhthtnf even my dad who is Never Home has picked up pn it and has#started checking her and telling her to keep it between yhem bc i dont. i canr handle that rn dude
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stolen-ass-name · 1 year
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*Guy that has two (2) D&D related interests only voice* Haha Dungeon Meshi x Baldur's Gate 3 crossover when?
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2023 is gonna be the year i start allowing myself to buy 'disability aids'
things that may not seem practical but will greatly improve the ease of which i'm able to tackle everyday tasks
things that i may not have looked into because 'those are for people more sensitive/disabled than I am'
things that make my routines easier to follow or easier to build habits that seemed like monumental tasks
this is the year im gonna actually be gentle with myself
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neverendingford · 7 months
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Therapists have two genders:
Professional Asshole and
Well-meaning Incompetent
#color says shit#text post#replying to my therapist is the most frustrating thing in the world. ma'am you think you're building rapport with me?#I hate to tell you but you've been wildly unsuccessful if that's what you think you've been doing here.#stop trying to educate me about my bullshit diagnoses that I already know about from my years on the internet.#like. babygirl I'm over here trying to build up to feeling comfortable enough to talk about the six-layer trauma cake I've got going on#and you're over here showing me a diagram consisting of two concentric circles meant to convey the idea of self versus other#you're very nice and trying to be helpful but I don't want to fucking talk about the girlfriend I want to talk about the issues that matter#girlfriend is an experiment. the other shit is stuff that lives in our fucking soul. shit that made me into the weird person fragment I am#and I had to fight for an hour. therapist kept on scheduling us for half an hour. HALF A FUCKING HOUR HALF AN HOUR ISN'T ENOUGH TIME TO TALK#I had to fight for it and even when she finally scheduled us for an hour she still tried to cut it short#I had to pull up the appointment confirmation to prove I had an hour allotted. like seriously what the fuck.#one of those people who had their own mental struggles and then is like “I want to become a therapist and help other people uwu”#and then is fucking useless and projects their own issues onto someone else and shoves their personal solutions onto you#like someone in r/aita projecting their own shitty relationship onto someone else. some of us are different Daryl#ugh I'm so fucking pissed and I'm not giving up the controller until I get this shit sorted out for now.#r wanted to hop back on this morning in the shower and we had a shouting match but our deal was she takes a week break so I'm keeping it#because too much shit has built up and she's been not doing so hot so I'm gonna get this mess cleaned up before I let her back on.#I bought groceries. I did laundry. I got the car repairs done. I got our bike fixed up. I showered. I did dishes. I'm going to#and I'm going to get even more done tomorrow. maybe then I'll go back to watching over her shoulder and backseat gaming but not for a while.#it feels nice though. like I get to finally stretch my arms and yawn real good.#and btw to answer the question she's always fucking asking. she's not ace in the slightest lmao. I am and the bleed over confuses her.#there. question answered so maybe she can stop asking about it.#I feel like in her push to find herself she kinda pushed me back into the corner. which... ngl that hurts a little.#oh well. you don't need to hear about our lovers' quarrel. I'm going to bed in these cozy fresh bed sheets I just put on the bed.
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the-kipsabian · 1 year
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i thinkkkkkk ive done everything??
just took out the trash about to have a lil snack and chill until sleep consumes me for like. six hours lol
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vulpinesaint · 1 year
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actually going to throw the hugest fit over my parents making me do dishes. i am HAPPY to do dishes on assigned nights. it's FINE. i hate it so much but i'll get it done and if i'm having constant breakdowns over it then like. idk. maybe that's another issue that you should be looking into but it doesn't mean that i'm not up for doing the dishes. but now my mom wants to have the five of us just. do the dishes on a rotation? which is FUCKED cause i have SHIT to do! the fuck happens when i have dnd? or want to go out with a friend? or have class until late? literally worst fucking idea on earth i can do the fucking dishes but i have to be PREPARED for it. for instance don't make it so every other week i'll be fucking Doing something when it's my night to do the dishes
#so tired and lowkey pissed off about this i'm going to cry#my mom got rlly upset cause the dishes weren't getting done. fair.#my nights got Done most of the time and i volunteered to take on an extra night so idk. i think that should count for something.#but she got upset and said that she would just do dishes from now on#and then realized it was a lot of work and said she couldn't do it on her own and needed people to help#and then said 'we should do it this way!' and never actually implemented that way#like. just said it out loud. but then like. expected it to magically happen?#babe you can't just throw out a hypothetical and go 'alright! now that i have spoken it into existence it's going to happen'#fucking WHATEVER though. cause now it's going to be my fun little dishes night on friday when i have dnd.#first fuckin round of it.#and it's not even that i don't want to i CAN'T do the fucking dishes on friday cause i'm barely in the house!#i'll be home on friday after work for fifteen minutes tops!#so. going to complain. literally some of us have schedules that take up the nighttime.#sorry that neither of my little siblings hang out with people or have regular social engagements or work late or have class late.#but unfortunately i'm literally doing shit. and i need to incorporate things into my schedule or it's gonna fuck all my shit up#and then people will be angry with me for not getting the dishes done. so. again. fuck me i guess#it'll be fine i'll talk to her i just. ugh. the world if mothers just fucking talked about what they wanted and needed to happen#she proposed that Multiple weeks ago and just now i heard her in the kitchen going 'i thought we were doing this...'#bitch since WHEN??? SINCE WHEN??? YOU HAVEN'T BROUGHT IT UP IN A FULL WEEK AT LEAST#throwing my fucking laptop against the wall i'm so fucking tired i just want to sleep#valentine notes
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highwaydiamonds · 2 years
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As someone who hates the sisyphean task of cleaning, how dare my mental health prefer a clean room.
#like come on brain - you could have made this one easier on the rest of me but ( as usual) NO You didn't#did i think about this as i sit in my tidy bedroom where everything just looks a lot cheerier and cozy and happy now that it's clean? yes#did it literally take me DAYS to get it this clean - and by this clean i still have laundry and stuff to do - so it's not perfect#but it looks like it p much is#and while my skin has not been cleared no my depression cured - it certainly is a boost to feel like this is a refuge#i actually want to spend time in her and feel like it's a nice room to be in - awaaaaaaaay from the other people i live with#and lbr - i need a plce to get awaaaaaaaay from them (and ok fine vice versa most likely)#but still - it would be a lot simpler if my brain liked a messy room more- my lazy parts would prefer that- but no#depression brain says -BITCH CLEAN UP - you will be happier and capable of doing some of the things if it's clean#also - you will feel LESS OF THE BAD HORRORS if it is clean#so UGH - FINE i will have to work to keep it clean - I GUESS.#i should reread camus's myth of sisyphus because iirc he didn't talk about dishes or laundry or room cleaning in that#he probably talked about death - been too many years since i read it - i don't remember - probs death and suicide#but not cleaning - he should have talked about cleaning. or wanting to die when you realized living means more cleaning#that would have been way relatable - but anyway - here we are- i'm not dead - and not planning on being so any time soon hopefully#partly because there is shit i still wanna do - but also partly because this room looks p decent and i'm not gonna make it messy#especially not by dying in here when it takes forever to get it clean#moral of the story: cleaning makes you feel like you wanna die but when it's done for the moment you'll be like i'll do that another day#because now the room is clean and dying in there would be a waste of the efforts of cleaning. just appreciate the space - vibe w/ it#and then you realize - ok life is maybe okay - and there's art and books and flowers and sex and chocolate and cute animals#so even if there are sisyphean tasks - and there are many - well do em anyway - brain will like it and then get back to the good stuff#thus endeth the tag saga after a short text post#welcome to how shit is around here sometimes
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girls-and-honey · 1 year
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Hiya honey girl!
How are you doing? ♥️
I feel gay today, and I don’t have anyone to vent to, so it’s gonna be you I’m afraid
I feel so gay, I spent half the day looking longingly in the distance, and *sighing* wishfully
Do you ever feel like that?
Last week I bought a red rose from a dude in the street and offered it to a beautiful lady singer in a bar, and even if I don’t particularly want to see her again, it still felt good to do something chivalrous and lesbiany you know?
I like living my life on my own, but some days I wish I could do those romantic things with somebody, like holding hands and cuddling, and walking along the river, and maybe kissing a little.
Even if I’m happy by myself, sometimes I still yearn for the day I’ll have my own lady to offer my roses to 🥺
inkaaaa hi hi <3
I'm doing pretty good, in drastic need of a weekend. almost there!
!!! gay vents are always welcome here! oh to look longingly into the distance whilst sighing wishfully...
do I ever feel like that YES absolutely in fact while pondering my response I did just that asjdfkl okay I might ramble in the tags but yeah completely relate to be happy with life on my own but sometimes wishing it wasn't just me yeah I'm definitely going to ramble in the tags
offering a beautiful lady a rose I'm 🥺🥺 sometimes you just have to indulge in chivalrous lesbiany actions this is unavoidable. manifesting this for you, I hope all your rose offering yearnings come true!
#this is so sweet and very relatable alksdfjs#only opting to ramble in the tags instead of the response bc I feel like this is going to get long lol you've been warned#but yeah. definitely do feel the happy by myself but sometimes wish I could be sharing that time with others#sometimes if i'm watching tv I'll wonder what new shows or movies I'd be watching if someone else was here#instead of the same eight shows I just watch on rotation all year (this is bc I like them btw. it's just hard to watch new shows#without external motivation to do so)#or when I'm working on the blanket that's been in progress almost two years. I wonder if I'd be making it in someone else's favorite colors#lot of little thoughts like this. some are fleeting and others I tend to get stuck on a bit or overthink#like breakfast for example. would I eat breakfast more consistently if I was also making it for someone else? what if they prefer to eat#the same thing every day? i need variety but I could make sure we always have their favorite fruit or put their cereal box out to make it#easier. or if getting the cereal out is part of their routine i can make sure their favorite bowl is always clean#i find myself wondering which of my mugs would be their favorite? which of theirs would be my favorite?#yeah i'm an acts of service person can you tell. also quality time... can you imagine the shared floor time conversations#a lot of the time I picture myself doing the exact same thing like watching tv and playing switch or practicing music or even working#the biggest different is just that someone else would also be here doing their own thing#to scroll tumblr in silence from the same couch... sending each other posts even though we're both right there. I do miss that#even chores would be more fun and go quicker I think. racing to see if they can do the dishes faster than I can fold and hang laundry#tidying and putting our things together in shared spaces. seeing them side by side just like we are#making the bed together and putting each of our stuffed animals on our own side#or maybe I'd just make it so they have one less thing to worry about#I think i've exposed myself enough alskdfj but there are quite literally hundreds more where those came from#anyway who wants to admit they have a crush on me (kidding) (ish)#asks#oops after posting this is looks like way more tags than I thought it would sorry anyone who made it this far
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