#so i was doing my usual browsing on one of my favourite websites

[cavarage]

St Joseph, Missouri (courtesy of google street view)

[theresattrpgforthat]

How To Find Cool Games: On Itch.io!

As I drift into a reduced posting schedule, I figured I’d give everyone a peek behind the screen for how I cultivate ttrpgs for recommendations! Some of these tips might even help you find your next favourite game.

This is a long read so let's put most of this beast under a read-more. Keep in mind that many of these strategies work best when you're checking itch.io a little bit every week, and when you're engaging with the platform as more than just a store page. There's a lot of features that you can choose to engage with if you want to find the game for you!

browsing physical game recent releases. This helps me see what’s new and happening, and it helps with a number of things. First of all, I get to see new games pretty much every time I browse recent releases. Secondly, I get a good sense of what’s currently popular in the design space. Thanks to my weekly browsing, I recognize Cy_Borg, Shadowdark and Mausritter as games whose content shows up rather regularly - if you see a lot of products attached to one game at once, that’s a good sign that there’s a related game jam going on (in this case, Shadowdark), or that a game is really resonating with its player base.

sorting games into collections. I personally organize by genre, system, player configuration and (in Games That Intrigue Me) games that I’m personally really hyped about. This works for me because of the nature of my work, but a few collections sorted according to level of interest or game style might work better for you.

Depending on the need, I might have a collection that works specifically for the request - Neon Lights & Cyber Nights is perfect for cyberpunk games, but I might also reference this folder for combat, inventory mechanics, resistance themes, or interesting tech rules. LUMEN is great for folks who want fast-paced games, folks who are looking for certain kinds of video games, or folks who want to feel powerful. If you follow other people on Itch, you'll probably also be able to see their collections, which is a great place to browse.

searching game tags. I don’t typically use the regular search feature, although recently the website did update the toggles to restrict your results to physical games, video games, etc. Instead what I usually do is type what I’m looking for into the url: so in this case, [deck-building]. I might use a couple different wordings, such as [deck-builder] and [deckbuilding] (no spaces). You’re not going to find everything that includes the thing you’re looking for, but you’ll definitely find places to start.

Game Jams! I find these either by looking at the “Jams” tab (although you'll have to wade through video games here) or by noticing that a number of games being published recently have the “for the _” jam in the description. Alternatively, I might be reading the page for a game and see the little “Submission” badge in interaction buttons. There’s game jams for specific systems, game jams for various themes, game jams with special restrictions, and game jams that are titled things like “finish your damn game jam.”

Bundles. I typically buy big-ass bundles and then sort through the games in my downtime. These games are sorted into collections for future reference, and if a game really pops out - into the Intrigue Me folder it goes! And the best part is that I already own it, so if I want to learn more, I can just download it and start reading.

following game designers that I like. This way I’ll get notifications if they release a new game, update an old game, rate someone else’s game, or sort games into their own collections. I also get to see what other folks in the space are excited about - on the day I was browsing, Plasmodics by Will Jobst was really hot.

If you follow me on Itch, you’ll get a notification every time I add a game to one of my non-private folders! Also - you can interact with designers on Itch by liking their updates, and even commenting on their posts, which is a great way to get involved in the design community - and also just make a designer’s day!

[ahhhsami]

Hi! I'm doing a school design project and I've decided to have a go at designing a Archive of Our Own app! I was wondering if you might be up for answering some questions to help me with my design (I need to show research in my project!)

If you are, answers to these would be SUPER helpful!

How long have you been engaging fanfiction sites such as Archive of our own, Fanfiction.net and Wattpad? 

What are some of your favourite works or fandoms on those sites? 

Are you a writer as well as a reader?

What drew you to these platforms and why do you stay? 

How long have you been engaging with the site Archive of Our Own specifically? 

What does your engagement with the platform look like? 

How often do you engage with the platform?

What are your favourite aspects of the platform? 

Do you think that you engage with all of the elements available on the platform?

Are there any elements of the platform that frustrate you? 

Of the fanfiction sites you frequent, where would you rank the site as a whole and why?

What do other platforms have that Archive of Our Own does not, which you enjoy interacting with? 

Are there any features unique to Archive of Our Own that you enjoy?

If Archive of Our Own were to develop a mobile app, what features would you like to see? 

Would you like the app to be similar in aesthetic and function to the already established website?

Are there any features you would like to see added to the platform in the app?

If you're not interested no worries! Thanks so much

IDK if you can do this, but creating a Google Survey may be a good idea to make this more accessible for people to answer. I also hope you don't mind that I respond publicly. But anyway, here are my answers and hope your project goes well.

How long have you been engaging fanfiction sites such as Archive of our own, Fanfiction.net and Wattpad?  Since 2015, so 8 years

What are some of your favourite works or fandoms on those sites?  Modern AUs and *adult content*... not sure if I should censor myself or not for your research purposes 😂

Are you a writer as well as a reader? Yes

What drew you to these platforms and why do you stay?  Access to content that you don't see in standard media. That includes representation of queer POC, mental health, and many other things.

How long have you been engaging with the site Archive of Our Own specifically?  Since 2015. 8 years.

What does your engagement with the platform look like?  I've been a prolific writer since 2016 and am on the site almost daily, whether that be posting a new work/chapter or checking and/or responding to comments. I'll also browse and read fics every now and again.

How often do you engage with the platform? Daily

What are your favourite aspects of the platform?  When it comes to AO3, that has to be the archive system. I like that there's no system that caters the search engine to you, but one that allows me to create my own search terms. I like the mass amount of small and large communities that have been built there and that nothing is censored.

Do you think that you engage with all of the elements available on the platform? Yes.

Are there any elements of the platform that frustrate you?  Since it's volunteer based, there's times that works do not follow the TOS, so they're not taken down properly. Whether that be plagiarism, placeholders, or practically blog posts, it can be frustrating to have the feed clogged with nonsense.

Of the fanfiction sites you frequent, where would you rank the site as a whole and why? AO3 is easily the best for me. It has suited its purpose and when I have tried to use other sites, I have not been able to.

What do other platforms have that Archive of Our Own does not, which you enjoy interacting with?  I can't answer this as usually the interface of the other sites turns me off so much that I don't explore it further.

Are there any features unique to Archive of Our Own that you enjoy? The search system. Over and over and over I will praise the system and how well it functions.

If Archive of Our Own were to develop a mobile app, what features would you like to see?  Honestly, I'd be happy if it functions like how it does on browser. I also use it on my mobile device and it functions well there without issue. If the app were designed in a similar way, that would be my preference. Maybe allow skins like AO3 does...

Would you like the app to be similar in aesthetic and function to the already established website? Yes

Are there any features you would like to see added to the platform in the app? Maybe create a way to add friends/followers so you can share recommended fics. Or create a feed that allows the people who follow you see what you're reading.

PS: If any of my followers see this, I'd assume this person would want more answers. And if that's the case, send them a message or add your answers to this post 👍🏼

[kittae]

Win-win

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader

Side characters: Min Yoongi

Summary: A drabble series where Taehyung is a successful artistic erotica actor but has to expand his areas of expertise in the rapidly evolving world of adult film. Lost and inexperienced in everything that doesn’t involve classy settings, flattering lighting and romantic scripts, he basically has to start from scratch to make it in the online porn community. As a highly demanded A-lister in that community, you take him under your wings (or better yet, between your legs).

Genre: Smut, fluff, a bit of comedy here and there. Maybe some angst, who knows.

words: 1256

Disclaimer: dialogue-heavy, foul language

A/N: things are being set in motion!

« previous — next »

— CHAPTER INDEX —

“–All I’m saying is that you’re not Paul Walker in Fast and Furious and you only drive like that when you’re really upset about something, so why can’t you just tell me? What happened? You missed that cat by a hair, by the way, you almost killed that poor animal.”

Yoongi sighs as he shuts the door to his apartment behind them, keys rattling when he pulls it out of the lock. “You’ll get it when you see it for yourself.”

“What could be so bad that you were ready to drive us to our deaths–”

“Taehyung, for the love of god, stop being dramatic and sit down. Please.” Yoongi groans, a hand coming up to press against his pounding temple, his mind going a hundred miles an hour.

“I’m being dramatic? Wow, okay then.” Taehyung complies but raises his eyebrows, mildly offended by the hypocrisy. “Aren’t you even gonna ask about the seminar?”

“Later. I need you to see this first.”

Taehyung frowns when he sees the website opened on his manager’s phone. “Hyung, i just came back from a three hour seminar, I think I’ve watched enough porn for–”

“Just watch it!”

“Okay, okay! fine…” Tae takes the phone in his two hands and lets the video play. “Oh, he’s cute! So handsome… woah, look at that body!” He whistles in appreciation.

Yoongi only grits his teeth in response.

Taehyung watches the entire video, adding some commentary and making acknowledging noises from time to time. “Cool! I don’t think I’ve seen this guy before, is he new?”

“Yeah, he’s new alright.” Yoongi answers, a pinch of bitterness lacing his tone.

“Okay... What was so urgent about this, though?” Tae wonders out loud, still clueless.

His manager sighs from deep inside his chest. “Tae… please, think. What could be urgent about a young, hot, talented newcomer in a very competitive industry?”

Taehyung snorts, waving away his friend’s concern. “Hyung, new people get into porn every day. Does that mean we have to panic like this every day?”

“No, you don’t get it. He’s going to be your direct rival.” Yoongi presses. “Remember why we’re trying to expand your horizons so you can take on more versatile scripts and different genres. We’re trying to get you as many jobs as possible to increase your online presence.”

“Before a rookie with a 7 inch dick comes along?” Taehyung cites the lecture he remembers.

“Exactly. This guy, this Jungkook, is that rookie. He doesn’t shy away from any trope or genre and is already well on his way on catching up to your following on OnlyFans when you’ve been in the industry for a longer time. Look at the number of subscriptions on his video platform, too. He’s massively popular at the moment.”

Taehyung swallows hard, the gravity of the situation sinking in. His face must be an open book, because Yoongi quickly adds some nuance.

“He’s not better than you, Tae. He’s new, interesting, maybe a little different but not better. You’re at least as talented as him, but we have to step up our game. You just need to level the playing field. We have to make sure you’re not old news by the time this guy hits his peak.”

“But how can we do it fast enough? I’m trying but… I can’t take hard core degradation scripts and BDSM stuff on yet, you saw what happened yesterday!”

Yoongi goes to sit beside his friend, wrapping a slender arm around his shoulders to pull him closer. “Listen, there’s no need to freak out yet– yes, I know how I reacted and that doesn’t help but I’m just thinking ahead. I need to think about every possible outcome, everything that could happen so we can be prepared. That’s my job. Your job is just being you and doing your best, alright? Got that?”

“What if that’s not enough?” Taehyung murmurs, sadness seeping through his words. “What if I’m not enough anymore, hyung?”

“Stop that. You’re doing great, you’re still in the top 5 of most popular adult actors. You just continue to do what we planned and I’ll take care of the rest. You’re going to be very busy the next couple weeks.”

Tae’s eyebrows crease questioningly. “Why?”

“We need to get our asses in gear. We’re too outdated, too old school. You need to be more active on social media and make a lot more content. People want instant gratification, the ones who want exclusive, luxurious stuff will still pay the right price for it. But we can’t rely on those customers alone anymore.”

Taehyung’s face twists with distaste. “Hyung, please don’t tell me I’ll have to be a camboy…”

“What? No, of course not. I know that’s not romantic enough for you.” Yoongi winks, the younger visibly relaxing. “No, we’re going to do something different. And I know the perfect person to help us with it.”

–––––––––––

“A miniseries? About what?” You squeeze your phone between your ear and your shoulder to prevent it from falling while you pour hot water into your favourite mug. “Yoongi, stop apologising. I can make time. Besides, things are a bit quiet since I’ve finished the Dom & Dommer series with Hoseok, so I could use something small and fun to keep me busy, actually.”

“Well, technically you’re not really asking me for a favour if I’m getting paid while doing it, right? So you can stop feeling bad for asking before you make me feel bad for accepting.” You chuckle, plopping down on your couch next to your cat, whom you absent-mindedly start petting as you listen to your old friend’s voice. You blow on your tea to cool it off while he speaks, Mochi purring happily underneath your fingers.

“No, I swear it’s no trouble at all. It sounds fun, I’m excited!” You shrug, a genuine smile playing on your lips. “Stop it! It’s a win-win situation. Um...what does Taehyung think? No! No, uh, you don’t have to put him through, I was just curious.”

Your cheeks feel hot and you catch yourself biting your nails for a second, an old habit you used to have when you felt nervous. “Okay, that’s good. Good to hear he’s looking forward to it, I’ll be too! Okay. Yeah, just send it to me or my agent when you’re done. Alright. Talk to you later! Bye, Yoongi.”

The call ends and you take a sip of your lavender tea. “Ow, fuck! Ugh…” You curse as the boiling hot water touches your tongue, simmering for a few seconds before the burn subsides. You weren’t paying attention, thoughts elsewhere.

Mochi meows, the sound somewhere between indignant and mocking.

“Watch it,” You warn him, your eyes narrowing to slits, which he only takes as a display of affection, returning the gesture before crawling into your lap.

Murmuring, you scratch Mochi behind his little ear. “A miniseries with Taehyung?”

Unaware of how your breathing becomes more shallow, or your heart beats a little faster than usual, you grab your phone to look him up online. Immediately, you’re met with an influx of images from the man you’ve only just seen yesterday. You don’t know why you’re doing this, but you find yourself browsing through his social media as well. It’s probably just because you haven’t done any new projects with a new co-star in a while.

“I should try to know more about him if we’re going to work together more often, right? I’m just being professional.” You mumble out loud, Mochi perking up questioningly.

[kitakataramen]

大きいサイズ！！！ PLUS-SIZE SHOPPING IN JAPAN

*This post is intended to be helpful for people already living in Japan who need to find everyday clothing, it’s not going to be useful for people living outside Japan who want to buy kawaii Tokyo fashion. This is also mainly geared toward women’s clothing, as it’s harder to find than men’s plus size clothing, but some of the stores and sites I mention here will be useful for plus size guys as well!

So let’s start at the beginning.

JP SIZING

Japanese sizes in general go from S, M, L, and plus sizes will be indicated from LL (extra large) all the way to 10L. For reference purposes on this post, I am a size 16/18 in CAN/US sizing, a 22 in UK sizing, and a JP size 5L for most plus-size brands, although the sizes are not standardized across brands (meaning that for some brands, a 5L will be either too big or too small). 

If you are above a size 3L, which is the largest size they stock in most regular stores (Uniqlo, for example, only stocks S, M, L, and XL for women*, so I don’t fit into any of their clothes) you will have to do most of your shopping online! There *are* physical plus-size stores around, though, so keep an eye out for stores that look like this:

大きいサイズ  (おおきいサイズ)　- plus-size (lit. large size)

レディースの大きいサイズ 　- Ladies’ large size

メンズの大きいサイズ     - Mens’ large size

Here’s some useful Japanese you can use while shopping in a physical store: 

大きいサイズがありますか？ Do you sell large size clothes?

これのもっと大きいサイズ、ありますか？ Do you have this in a larger size?

It can be a bit difficult finding your size in Japan, but don’t give up! Plus size Japanese women *do* exist and they look cute as heck, and so can you.

PHYSICAL STORES

H&M Japan (they use S, M, L, XL sizing or US sizes up to 16, so I would say around a 4L Japanese size. I am able to fit into some of their clothing based on the cut and style of the garment, but most of their tops/dresses are too tight in the chest for me). Good for a variety of styles, from work clothes to casual

しまむら 　- They carry up to a 4L, good for basics and casuals

青山 (あおやま）　- Great for work/business attire. (They call their plus-size line クイーンサイズ which I find extremely adorable omg). Their sizing is a bit different as they carry from 19号～ 37号, but the sizing charts should help you figure out which size you need.

PUNYUS    - There are only a few of these stores around, in big cities like Tokyo and Osaka, but I love this brand so I’ll be talking about their online store later in the post. The brand was established by Naomi Watanabe, one of Japan’s foremost plus-size comedians and TV personalities, and I absolutely LOVE her. Punyus uses their own sizing in 1, 2, 3, or 4. (I am usually a 2, but I always check the measurements for each garment very carefully because for some items I am a 3 or 4).

*Uniqlo carries up to a 4L in men’s sizes, but you usually have to order the larger sizes online as they don’t stock them in the regular stores.)

There are obviously way more stores than this that carry plus-sizes, and most of them will have the 大きいサイズ  sign right on the outside of the store. I’ve even managed to find some cute items in the  大きいサイズ  section of my local grocery/department store of all places (although don’t expect much from department stores, most of the fashion in these places will be very tame grandma clothes).

Now, let’s get into online shopping, which is the easiest method but can be a little tricky. The first thing you need to do is figure out your measurements, as the majority of online products will have a detailed size chart that is very useful for ensuring a good fit without trying it on.

SIZE CHARTS

Size charts will look like this, and will use centimetres:

サイズ表記 　（サイズひょうき） - size notation

バスト    - bust (the measurement around your chest)

肩幅　（かたはば）- shoulder width (measurement from shoulder to shoulder)

袖丈　（そでたけ） - sleeve length

着丈　（きたけ）- length (of the whole garment, Japanese ones tend to run short. I’m not even particularly tall but a lot of shirts tend to fit like crop tops here)

袖幅　（そではば）- sleeve width

袖口　（そでぐち）- cuff

幅裾　（はばすそ）- hem width

回り　（まわり）- circumference (measurement around the bottom) 

ウエスト    - waist

ヒップ     - hips

In general, the measurements that’ll be most useful will be bust, waist, hips, and length of the garment. As you can see on the model below, those measurements make her a size 3L. My measurements are 128-106-135 and I’m 168cm tall so I’m usually a 5L.

Once you know your measurements, it’s time to start browsing! I’ll briefly introduce my top picks for useful online stores.

ONLINE STORES

1. Nissen

This website is great and I use it all the time. It’s like an online shopping mall that carries the plus size options from a bunch of different brands, so you can just check here instead of browsing each brand individually. 

You can search by size, category, colour- it’s super convenient and easy, and the website is also available in English. 

SHOES

This site also has great options for shoes above 25cm (which is the largest size they sell in most shoe stores for women). My shoe size is 26.5cm with 4E width (extra wide) and I can easily find shoes here.

TALL SIZES

I mentioned before that some of the shirts here tend to fit fairly short, even for my 168cm (5′6″) height. Never fear, there are tall size options as well.

The tall sizes will be annotated with a TT next to it- as you can see, the first 3 options in the picture are MTT - 5LTT, and the 4th one doesn’t have the TT, so it will be a normal length. Again, you can just click on the item and go to the size chart to check the length in cm to see if it will fit.

2. Alinoma

Very similar to Nissen in that it gathers clothing from different brands all right here on the same site, and you can also use the parameters along the side to customize your search by size, category, colour, etc. 

One of my favourite brands (available from both sites) is タベルノスキー、which has super cute stuff~

3. PUNYUS Online Store

The clothes here are more trendy, playful, casual clothes, and I love that they use larger plus-size models than some of the other sites (including Naomi Watanabe herself). I buy a lot of non-work clothes from here.

*Note that all these sites have really reasonable shipping fees within Japan and also have frequent sales, as well. And they’re really easy to use with google translate.

INNER WEAR

Now, as for the busty gal trying to find bras and lingerie in Japan...

Don’t worry!!! I’ve found that most lingerie stores don’t stock my size, but again, it’s possible to order them online using either Nissen or Alinoma. You’ll want to look for the インナー tab, and ta-da! (Just keep in mind that the band in Japan is measured in cm).

To wrap up, I’d just like to reiterate that if you are plus-size in Japan and having trouble finding clothes, you’re not alone! There are lots of us here and there *are* brands out there that make cute clothes for us. If you see something you like in a store, go in and check it! The sizing is not only wildly different between brands, but it can even be different between different garments in the same brand. Don’t be afraid to try things on! You might be surprised by what actually fits and looks good.

Happy shopping!

[jaskierswolf]

Hello, love 💜 for a Valentine’s prompt, can we get aro/platonic geraskier? Maybe they’re out with some friends who Don’t Get It™ and they kinda explain what aromantic love and relationships is like? (I know the aro spectrum is pretty wide and I’m not aro, so I don’t wanna get too specific with the prompt. also I’d like to learn more about it as well ☺️💜)

Soooo... this got longer than I anticipated and honestly I didn’t get that much into the explanation. One of the best things someone can do if someone comes out as aro (and/or ace) is to accept it, support them and go away to do their own research. So.... this is sort of what happens here.

Modern AU (with magic?) - Geralt & Jask QPR, feat Yen/Triss. 1.1k

________

“Geralt!” Jaskier called as he pulled the duvet off the bed, books flying into the corners of the room. “Oh cock, Geralt!” he yelled louder “I can’t find my glasses!”

They were maybe sort of a little bit late for a friend date with Triss and Yennefer, and it was maybe his fault, but not completely. Geralt knew by now that Jaskier got caught up in his composing and lost track of time. Geralt should have knocked on his door sooner, but alas, five minutes before they were supposed to leave Geralt decided to remind him. Jaskier had gotten dressed in record time but somewhere in the confusion he’d put his glasses down.

And now he couldn’t find them.

“Geralt!!” He shouted, pouting at his friend’s absence. “Stupid witcher.”

“Jaskier, I was only next door, no need to scream,” Geralt sighed in fond exasperation. He had Jaskier’s glasses in his hand.

“Oh.”

“Hmm.”

Jaskier felt himself blush slightly as he took the frames from Geralt’s hand. “Thanks, my dear. Where—”

“In the bathroom.”

“Right,” Jaskier grinned sheepishly, flexing his fingers “brain’s all over the place.”

And it was, always was at this time of year. People just obsessed over love and partners and romance, and Jaskier… well… it all got a bit much. It threw his anxiety through the roof, even though he had Geralt and they were very happy with their own little, strictly platonic arrangement. He knew people assumed they were dating. His own mother kept asking when the witcher would be proposing to him, because apparently Jaskier was not the one to propose in their relationship… if any of them wanted that, which they didn’t. They’d been living together as best friends for almost a decade and still his own family didn’t understand.

Sometimes it was easier just not to correct them.

And other times he got so irrationally angry that they never believed him.

Geralt was good for him. He kept Jaskier’s head out of the clouds and Jaskier stopped his witcher from being pitifully self-loathing. It worked for them, and that was enough.

“Come on,” Geralt grunted. “Yen hates it when we’re late.”

Jaskier smirked, nudging Geralt’s shoulder with his own. “It was your fault last time,” he reminded the witcher. Geralt had taken a contract a few days before their last date with the girls and ended up getting back an hour late and covered in drowner guts. “Lost glasses is better than monster guts.”

“I was working.”

Jaskier pouted at Geralt and reached up to kiss his cheek. “It was still gross and you know it.”

“Hmm.”

Jaskier stuck his tongue out, before linking arms with his friend. It was time to face the music. Yennefer and Triss had started dating officially only a few months before but honestly they’d been circling around each other for years, which was only really making Jaskier feel worse. He knew that people were expecting him and Geralt to come to a similar conclusion but it just wasn’t going to happen.

They’d tried once.

After two weeks of awkwardly avoiding talking to each other the both gave in and gratefully returned to their friendship, vowing never to be so idiotic again. It had simply been the pressures of society, and Jaskier hated it when people judged him. He’d just wanted to be… well… normal. If such a thing existed.

They made their way to the little cafe in town. Yennefer was sat there, looking perfect as usual, scrolling through something on her phone. Her other hand was holding Triss’s on the table. Triss was reading a book on her tablet by looks of it, Jaskier recognised the layout of the website even from a distance. He laughed. Even centuries old sorceresses weren’t too old for fanfic!

He idly wondered what fandom had caught her interest, but that was a conversation for another time. Yennefer’s violet eyes flashed up, cool and intense, even after all this time he still shivered.

“Boys,” she said dryly as if she wanted to be anywhere else but at the cafe waiting for them, but Jaskier didn’t take it to heart, that was just Yennefer’s way. “You’re late.”

“I—”

“Lost your glasses, you’ll lose your head next,” Yennefer smirked but reached up to kiss Geralt’s cheek as they approached the table. “Geralt.”

“Yen, it’s good see you, and you Triss,” Geralt sat down opposite Yennefer and Jaskier slid in next to him, keeping a hand on his witcher’s leg.

“Don’t mind her,” Triss smiled warmly, “She’s been looking forward to this for weeks.”

“An exaggeration,” Yennefer muttered, her act of indifference fooling no one on the table. “So, still stubbornly friends?”

Jaskier’s fingers gripped Geralt’s leg under the table, this had been what he was waiting for. They had the same conversation every time, but this time Jaskier had an answer. They’d done some research on the internet, both frustrated with the way neither of them ever seemed to want the romantic relationship that everyone else on the planet was obsessed with.

And oh ho ho! The discoveries they’d made. It turned out that they weren’t alone, that there was even a word for it these days. The validation had been the best feeling, truly beyond words, and Jaskier would know, words were his living.

“Still friends, always will be,” Geralt grumbled.

Jaskier bumped their shoulders together and pinned Yennefer with a steely glare, one to rival hers. “It’s called aromantic, darling. Look it up.”

Yennefer raised an eyebrow. “Aromantic?”

“Mhmm,” Jaskier replied before picking up the menu to browse the sandwich options “and Geralt is my platonic partner. It’s umm, ah. Well… sort of like a best friend but… more committed? No romantic feelings involved though before you ask.”

“Right,” Yennefer didn’t sound convinced but Triss squeezed her hand, stopping any scathing remark that the sorceress might have.

“We’ll look it up when we get home, thanks for trusting us Jaskier.”

Jaskier beamed and rested his head on Geralt’s shoulder. It had gone better than expected. He’d been expecting them to completely dismiss it off the bat, but then again, Yennefer and Triss had been friends with Geralt for a few decades now. They were alright, he supposed.

“Alright?” Triss asked with a laugh.

“Stay out of my head,” he groaned.

“You love us, Jask. Don’t deny it.”

“Yeah yeah,” he muttered and stuck his tongue out at the sorceress. “You’re not bad.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt growled.

“Urgh, fine. You are my two favourite sorceresses in the whole wide world, I will sing your praises from the tops of the highest mountains, nay from the heavens above!”

“Jaskier!”

Jaskier grinned and kissed Geralt’s cheek. “You love me, shush.”

“Hmm,” Geralt agreed.

[wallwriterstuff]

Am I allowed to place in a request for Mr svelte tracker boi Demetri? I need my greek boi fix. 😅😂 My stimming (due to my slight autism and anxiety) has been kinda bad lately and I was wondering if you could do some headcanons on how he would be with a reader who has that going on? (For example, some of my stimming signs are restless, uncontrollable finger twitches sometimes, and sudden limb movements and facial twitches I can't control 😅) Thanks! Also, sorry if this is too touchy a subject!🙈

You most certainly are allowed and I cannot express how hard I fangirled when I realised it was you in my ask box. I played it very cool but just know I was dying inside from the moment I saw your username come up XD 

TW: Mentions of anxiety and sensory overload. If that’s a little personal to you please be cautious about reading this one!

I’m incapable of writing short things it seems so it’s another long one.

Self-stimulating behaviour, known more commonly as stimming, usually involves repetitive movements and/or sounds. Though it is most often associated with autism (I know when I first saw the word stimming that was where my mind immediately went to) everybody stims in some way, shape or form to relieve stress, tension, anxiety, boredom etc. Some ways are less noticeable than others such as nail biting or finger tapping, while others can be more obvious and disruptive to your social/daily life like licking certain objects or scratching at skin.

I learned all this from doing a bit of reading before taking on this request and if you want to know more then the link to the article I read is right -----> HERE <------ ! It’s informed my ideas for this headcanon request and though I’m open to discussions about the topic to help educate myself and anyone else who wishes to learn more, what I will not tolerate is any sort of hate or discrimination based on the links to developmental disorders and mental illness that stimming has. This blog has and always will be a safe space for anyone and everyone and a little respect for one another will help keep it that way. Be kind folks!

So without further ado, how would Demetri react to you stimming I wonder?

Part 1: Headcanons below the Keep Reading Line Part 2: Teeth (fic) Part 3: Control (fic) 

·         He honestly wouldn’t really notice for a while because, well, humans aren’t exactly designed to be as flawless as vampires

·         Impromptu nosebleeds, migraines, sneezes…they’re just glitches in a faulty system so why is the way your leg just bounced up off of the floor while your sitting any different to those other equally as involuntary things

·         He’s struggling right now to, after all he just met his very human mate and it’s quite overwhelming for him to have to adapt to all these new feelings and situations he finds himself in, but he deals because he can

·         Some days, you just…can’t

·         Getting attacked by a man with some bizarre fascination with your neck is bad enough but being whisked away by strangers is somehow even worse. At least in the first scenario once it’s over it’s over, now you’re just living an anxious person’s nightmare in a new place full of new people

·         Volterra was beautiful, but it wasn’t home. No cosy apartment, no neighbours cat to feed, no monotonous shifts at work…

·         Actually, most of the time you’re left utterly alone to navigate an unfamiliar castle, and the times you aren’t alone is when there’s a man claiming to be your eternal lover in front of you

·         Try to convince me this man doesn’t rip the band aid off and profess his love for you with dramatic flair just TRY

·         Your days are filled with endless boredom where you’re doing nothing at all until someone checks on you, and then fight or flight kicks in because oh HELLO Mr Vampire guard are you here to give me lunch or kill me?

 ·         Demetri had thought that perhaps you were okay with that, since you hadn’t really outwardly reacted beyond the way your cheek twitched up into a smirk once or twice as he spoke. Hell, you’d even winked at him…right?

·         You did that a lot so he really genuinely thought that maybe you were just trying to flirt with him, build a relationship with him. Your constant little winks and the way your fingers twitched when he was nearby, like you so desperately wanted to reach out to him…

·         It took a few weeks before he realised how wrong he was

·         You’d reached for a sip of water and your arm had just whipped outward from your body

          + You’d absolutely drenched him with your entire glass of water and could only stare in abject horror wondering what the supposed vampire would do next, since you’d interrupted him rather smugly detailing his plans for your first date

·         Silence

·         There was just silence

·         It only made your anxiety worse and the muscles in your face just spasmed without your permission and - god did you just smirk at him again, oh no        

         + “I’m glad one of us finds this amusing. If you did not like the idea there were other ways to tell me so.”

 ·         You almost want to cry from sheer embarrassment at this point because the date really had sounded like it could be fun and now you’d just straight up thrown water in his face like he’d insulted you in the worst way imaginable

·         So you come clean and tell him about your stimming

·         He’s really worried at first because autism? Anxiety he’s heard of but autism sounds very dangerous, are you dying? You’re probably dying. He’s going to lose his mate –

·         Another involuntary finger twitch from you forces him to calm down because your anxious enough without his worrying on top, so he kind of brushes it off and makes no big deal out of it

·         Squeezes your hand and kisses your forehead to try and reassure you all is forgiven, even if he does have to go change a very expensive looking designer shirt and god you’re so sorry

·         Of course, that kind of makes it worse for you because anxiety brain is activated and your 99.9999% sure he’s actually furious with you still and has only pretended to forget it while he’s plotting his revenge

·         You see him late at night when you struggle to fall and stay asleep, reading in the low lamplight at his desk across the room, his laptop propped open and a notebook before him but you’re too scared still to ask what it is he’s reading so intently (probably good suggestions on places to bury your body welp)

·         It’s a complete surprise to you therefore when he does take you out on that date he promised you not two weeks later

 ·         He’s chosen a nice overcast day so he’s in the least conspicuous clothing he owns

            + Demetri’s least conspicuous clothes still consist of the most chic and expensive brands you know of and he sticks out like a sore thumb amongst the quaint little market stalls he’s brought you to see

·         Despite the gloomy weather the people of Volterra are out in full force though, swarming the market stalls and chattering and laughing as flashes of gold and silver from jewelry hit your eyes, bright coloured fabrics following

·         It’s all just too much

·         There’s people everywhere and so much noise, so many colours and lights and people brushing past you…

·         Your fingers clench tight around his, his hand immersed in a glove to keep his freezing skin from chilling you too much

·         He squeezes back lightly, eyes shifting to glance down at you with the kindest smile on his lips

         + “Keep squeezing my hand whilst we find somewhere quieter to stand.”

·         Your fingers seemed to take turns pressing into his rock solid skin, an odd sort of comfort coming from the fact you know you can press down hard and he won’t so much as register the sensation, and Demetri squeezes back, just firm enough he knows you can feel the pressure of his palm on yours

·         He takes you to a quiet little side road where the noise is much more faded and there is so much free space around you you feel like you can finally breathe again

·         He still hasn’t stopped squeezing your hand, taking turns with you as you take some steady breaths and try to focus your senses a bit, one thing you can feel, two things you can see, three you can smell...

 ·         “I hope you can forgive me, I did not expect the market to be so busy today with the weather like this.”

·         His apology takes you completely by surprise because how would he even know you struggled with crowds? You barely know each other?

·         Seeing your surprise Demetri rather sheepishly admits as to what exactly he’s been reading all those nights you’ve seen him at his desk, and you’re a little overwhelmed to realise he’s been reading about you

·         Medical journals, mummyblogs, charity websites and more, if it had any information about autism and stimming he’s browsed through it and taken copious amounts of notes, observing you religiously to see what might be relevant to you and how he can help ·         +  “I read somewhere you self-stimulate to calm yourself when you are anxious or your senses feel overwhelmed, is that what happened?”                                    “Well, yes, actually, I…I…”

            “And did it help? Taking you away from the source of stress and letting you squeeze my hand like that?”

·         It had actually, you felt much calmer and Demetri’s obvious acceptance and willingness to help you manage your stimming and anxiety today were one of the first little moments you fell in love with him, looking back on it 

·         He didn’t stop there either. Together you sat down and made a list of all the things that you found most often triggered your stimming, and all of the things that brought you joy so he could figure out things to avoid and things you might like for your future dates

·         Within hours of arriving home you’d gotten a whole new daily routine set up so you weren’t left to languish and wonder what was going to happen next

·         Three days later an express shipment of your favourite smelling scented candles arrived alongside a Bluetooth speaker, supplies Demetri insisted were necessary for nice calming baths on the days your anxiety was playing up

·         He started doing mindfulness practices with you in the evenings

·         He never touched the volume controls for his laptop, speaker or TV, leaving it to you to control the volume so you could set it to a level you were comfortable with, and he religiously policed the noise on his floor to           + “Where are you going? The movie just started…”                                                    “To tell Felix to turn his music down.”               “You’re vampiring again Metri, I can’t even hear that.”

·         When he signed you up for Yoga and meditation classes at a centre in town you drew the line and told him he was going overboard, but bless him he had tried

·         Overall he’s a solid 15/10 for effort, even if some ideas are still experimental - you’re enjoying the deep pressure massages a lot though – and he sometimes goes a bit mother-hen trying to get you out of situations he thinks you’ll struggle with, when actually you’re coping just fine today

·         You love him dearly for it

[bluebellravenbooks]

The Book Addiction Tag

Thank you for the tag @franticvampirereads , and sorry for taking forever :) This December has been pretty overwhelming, but now that it's holiday time I'm happy to be back on booklr!

1. What is the longest amount of time you can comfortably go without picking up a book?

This really depends on what else is going on in my life! If I'm into a good book and have enough time to spare, I'll be reading every day. However if I'm swamped with things, or travelling, or binging a show, it could easily be a couple of weeks...

2. How many books do you carry on your person (physical or device) at any one time?

It's one physical book normally, or two or three if I'm travelling and might need a change of pace during a long flight. (Aahhh, remember when flying was a thing?..)

3. Do you keep every book you buy/receive or are you happy to pass them on to make space for more?

I keep most of them. I used to keep absolutely everything, but now I'm trying to get rid of the ones that I don't really want to keep - I'll likely move long-distance quite a few times before I settle down, so book luggage is something I have to consider...

4. How long would you spend in a bookshop on a standard visit?

Usually about half an hour browsing, and then some more time in the cafe - all the central bookshops in Oxford are also some of my favourite spots for coffee :)

5. How much time per day do you actually spend reading?

It could be anything from "zero" to "until sunrise"...

6. Where does the task “picking up a book” appear on your daily to-do list?

Definitely evening/night, after I'm done with the day's tasks - and I'm a night owl anyway, so I like spending late evenings doing the things I enjoy, reading included.

7. How many books do you reckon you own in total (include ebooks)?

I honestly have no clue, probably around 400-500?

8. Approximately how often do you bring up books in conversation?

Quite often, if I know that the person I'm talking to would be interested!

9. What is the biggest book (page count) you have finished reading?

Probably War and Peace by Lev Tolstoy? Even if it's not the biggest, it's definitely up there.

10. Is there a book you had to get your hands on against all odds (searched bookstore, online digging, stalked author, etc.)?

Ah yes, that happened a few times - mostly because I lived in Russia for most of my life, so a lot of foreign lit, especially in original, was simply difficult to find. (Deliveries are horrible there, and most foreign companies don't even try; even ebooks were difficult, because websites that sell them don't work in every country.) For example, when I watched Paterson, I really wanted to read the poetry book that it was sort-of loosely inspired by, and the only way I could do it was ordering it to my friend's address in Europe and then picking it up the next time I visited...

11. Is there a book you struggled to finish because you refused to DNF?

This definitely happened, although I can't remember an example from the top of my head... I do tend to DNF if the book really bothers me.

12. What are 3 (or some) of your main book goals for 2020 or 2021 (if you’ve started planning)?

Just get back to reading, really! End of 2020 was not a reading time for me.

13. Have you ever had the privilege of converting someone into a reader (by inspiration or your incessant nagging)?

Not really! I did get my friends to read a few books that they really enjoyed, which was pretty great too.

14. Describe what books mean to you in FIVE words.

Storytelling magic, adventures, feelings, empathy

[thestraggletag]

Creature Comforts, a Dragon!Rumbelle Sequel

Summary: The morning after the storm. Sequel to Creature Instincts.

Rating: PG-13

He woke up some time during the night, disoriented from having fallen asleep somewhere other than his bed. He noticed idly that there was light coming from the kitchen, which meant the power was back. But the heating would take time warming up the house, big and old as it was, so he tried to disentangle himself from Belle to tend to the fire. 

“Let me, I’m closer.”

Belle rose, unselfconscious of her nudity, and pecked him on the cheek before reaching out to the neat stack of firewood and tossing a couple of logs into the dying embers of the fire. He watched in fascination as she reared back, taking a deep breath before blowing a steady blue plume of fire, setting the wood aflame. He noticed her eyes shone greater as she breathed fire. He had noticed his do the same. He marvelled at how small she was, how dainty and fragile-looking, and yet how it was all a ruse, well-crafted lie. She was a creature of power, with more strength and stamina that a human could ever hope to have.

‘A perfect match for us.’ The creature inside him was curled up, still seemingly satisfied by their recent rough coupling. It had never felt so before after sex, quite the contrary. It disliked being constrained and limited, being told to hold back, to be softer, or gentler or altogether less. He hadn’t had to hold back with Belle, with her thick skin and brute force. His muscles ached in a way they never had before. She had given him as good as she got and it felt wonderful, to be so tired, so spent.

“You look at me like I’m unreal, it’s very flattering, but strange. Haven’t you met any of our kind before?”

Belle shifted till she was draped over him, arms folded on his chest and chin propped up over them, peering at him curiously with sleepy eyes. She felt soft and loose above him, not an ounce of tension in her body. 

‘We tucked her out. How lovely.’ The creature purred, pressing against the edges of his consciousness. ‘Let’s do it again.’

It was possibly giddy, like a child, and it made him giddy too. He shook his head, telling her his only encounters with those of his kind were from far away and long ago, people in passing that had smelt a bit like him from a distance. 

“I’ve heard tales, and tracked down stories. I have come across antiques that were obviously once part of another dragon’s hoard, by the smell and feel of them. But that’s about as close as I’ve gotten.” He stroked her back, loving the sleek texture of her scales, and how warm she was. A furnace, just like him. “What about you?”

“Mom died when I was little, but her family kept in touch, helped me growing up. Introduced me to a small community of dragons in Australia. Mostly male dragons, I think everyone was hoping for a bit of matchmaking since females are rare, or so I’m told. Didn’t quite work out. I wanted… love. Settling for ‘someone of my own species’ felt like short-changing myself. Gave in to my urge to see the world partly to get away from a persistent jerk who didn’t know the meaning of the word no.” She wrinkled her nose, which he found adorable. Vaguely he tried to make himself adopt a less dopey expression, but his face would not budge.  

Suddenly she frowned, as if a new, puzzling thought had crossed her mind.

“Did you even know I was like you?”

He shook his head, seeing no point in lying, as much as it embarrassed him that he had not put the clues together before. Her eyes softened even more, a dreamy expression in them.

“I thought for sure you knew. That it was why you first paid attention to me, why you enjoyed sparring with me. It’s a very traditional courting practice amongst our kind, and it was the first time I found myself wanting to participate. I found our fights… stimulating.” The heated look in her eyes, coupled with her words, sent a jolt of sudden, scorching pleasure down his spine.

“Oh, it is safe to say I enjoyed them as well. I just didn’t know how much. My son and my daughter-in-law, I’m afraid to say, cottoned on to my interest in you before I did. The creature in me always knew, though, tried to tell me. I wasn’t listening. We… we don’t always get along.”

It was an understatement. Growing up inhuman had been difficult. He had been alone in a world full of people. He had had to figure everything out on his own, about what he was, and what it meant. How to survive. How to live around people without hurting them, and without them hurting him in return. He had never quite figured that part out, truthfully. It had been hard, and painful, and… lonely. So, so lonely.

“I’ve seen it looking at me.” Belle smiled, reaching out to pet his hair. “I would be fighting with you over extra funds to expand the selection of Latin American authors at the library and it would flash across your eyes. It always thrilled me.”

The creature preened, clearly not immune to flattery. It was strange but pleasant to feel in sync with it, it happened so rarely. Her look darkened, her own pupils becoming slits as her eyes shone unnaturally blue. He had but a moment to brace himself before she pounced on him, her inhuman strength still taking him by surprise in spite of it all, thrilling him as if it was a new discovery. They were rougher with each other, more comfortable now that they knew without a shadow of a doubt that they could not hurt each other easily. It was the sort of uninhibited, passionate coupling he had always restrained himself from and it felt wonderful. She had certainly ruined him for other women. And he hoped that her loud moans and her many orgasms meant he had had a similar impact on her.

When they woke up again it was close to eleven o’clock, a shockingly late hour to be waking up. Reluctantly they left the comfort of their improvised nest and donned their clothes, if only to keep themselves in check long enough to eat something. It was Saturday, as rent-day always fell on a Friday, and though he usually opened his shop for a half workday he always took off Saturdays after rent-day, usually to recover enough to don his human facade again. It was a day he usually enjoyed, with a hearty breakfast and, if the weather permitted, some time outside lazing in the sun, or if not taking care of his treasures, and browsing antique websites to see what caught his fancy.

It was strange not to feel a frisson of excitement at the prospect of growing his hoard, but he reasoned that greater biological impulses were at play. Instincts he had never had a chance to explore. 

‘And given how she’s looking at us we’re not the only ones with a one-track mind.’

The creature thrilled happily, its unbridled joy mixing with his own as they both stared at Belle, who was idly whisking a few egg-whites into a merengue and shooting covert looks their way. In the light of the morning her silver skin took a soft pink undertone, barely perceptible. He was fascinated by it, by the sleek feel of her scales and their warmth. She was so tiny, and so kind, and so gentle. He had seen her interact with children, soothe irritated elderly library patrons who could not find the book they were looking for, and evade the advances of slimy men like Keith Nott a couple of times at Granny’s. And yet there was this whole other part of her, a part she didn’t show others, could never show. He alone would know her, all of her, and the possessiveness he felt at the prospect was heady.

‘Ours. Mate.’

The creature rumbled, clearly pleased, and nudged Rowan forward, telling him that surely food could wait for later. He was about to reach out and snag the librarian about the waist, her smell letting him know she would not shoo him away, when he caught the sound of his Facetime ringer. Bae sometimes called on Saturday mornings to check on him, if rent-day had seemed like it had worn him out a bit much, and there was a chance he might have heard about the blackout from Emma’s foster sister, who lived in Storybrooke. He whispered against her lips that he would be quick and moved the tablet to face away from where Belle was, swiping to take the call with the practiced ease of someone used to manipulating touch technology with claws.

“Hey, Bae. How’s everyone?”

“Hi, pops! Emma is still asleep, she came home only a few hours ago. Little Henry is watching The Dragon Prince on her tablet. Keeps him quiet.”

It seemed to amuse Bae a little bit too much that Henry’s favourite TV shows usually were about dragons, as before he had been obsessed with Jake Long and Dragon Booster before that. Rowan had learned to pretend he didn’t notice, though he had to admit that it did please him a bit. He was hoping to let Emma in on his secret so it would be easier to tell Henry, when the time came.

“I heard about the blackout from Emma, and wanted to check in. The storm yesterday was pretty bad, and that old Queen Anne gets cold really fast without electricity.”

He couldn’t help but be warmed by Bae’s worry, even and he cursed his timing. He assured him that he was alright, having spent the night by the fire in the living-room, and that the power was back on and the house was properly heated once more.

“I’m glad, pop. Hope your favourite librarian is okay too. Perhaps you could go over to her house with a bottle of wine and check up on her.”

He waggled his eyebrows, which Rowan was glad Belle could not see. She could, however, hear everything, made all the more evident by the amused smile on her face, and her raised eyebrows. Fucking Baden.

“Let’s not start this again, I-”

“No, pops, come on. You’re gaga over that woman. You talk about her so much I sometimes feel like I know her more than I know my own wife. Emma agrees. Hell, even little Henry could name at least three of her favourite outfits. Including her heels, which I gotta tell you gives me a glimpse into you that I would rather not have.”

He was too busy turning an almost orangey shade of gold out of embarrassment to register at first that Belle had broken into peals of laughter, which she tried in vain to suppress. Bae, however, heard right away, his eyes turning round and panicky on the screen.

“Oh my God, pops, is someone there?! Is Belle there?! Do you know that you’re-I mean, that you look-”

Bae had gone through a terrified phase in adolescence after he had become acutely aware of the danger his father faced if his nature was exposed. It had broken his heart to see it, but he had thankfully grown out of it once it had become clear that it was unlikely to happen. Clearly, though, he wasn’t as unbothered by the notion as he seemed. He was trying to figure out how to reassure him when Belle took a few steps towards him, pausing to give him a significant look. At his surprised nod she crossed the remaining distance until she was snuggling against his side, smiling shyly and looking distinctly non-human.

“Hi, I’m Belle. Rowan has told me so much about you. Can I call you Bae?”

From inside the tablet his son let out a surprised “eep” that his sensitive ears objected to loudly. He looked at Belle, clearly taking in her silver skin and glowing eyes, and then at his papa, going back and forth with an air of shock and surprise that was almost insulting. Then, slowly, a lopsided smile formed across his unshaven face.

“Pop, you lucky dog!” He started slow-clapping, which made him wish the earth would open up and swallow him whole. “I mean, what are to odds! And the implications. I wanna know everything. Well, not everything. Definitely not everything. Like, please, no. But still, I have questions. So many questions.”

Rowan eyed the end call button, trying to imagine just how mad Bae would be if he pressed it.

“Buuuuuut I can see I interrupted something so I’m just gonna get Henry dressed and go with him to the park. You know, give you two crazy kids some time.” Okay, perhaps Bae was not the worst son ever. “But I will be expecting a call later. And for you to send Emma a message confirming the relationship so she’s forced to fork over the fifty bucks she lost. Don’t forget about that, pops, love you, talk to you soon!”

He was gone a second later, leaving him feeling Belle trembling with laughter against him. He marvelled at how at ease she felt, even though he knew exposing one’s true nature to someone was a huge thing. A sign of trust, of intimacy, of-

Commitment. 

‘Yes. Ours. Always.’

The creature said it matter of factly, as if he was stating the obvious to a particularly thick-headed individual. He shushed it, though half-heartedly, and pressed a kiss against Belle’s hair, whispering a quick “thank you” before going over to where his French press was, determined to make a mockery out of Granny’s lattes. The sooner Belle saw the benefits of breakfasting at his house the better.

[irwinkitten]

mulled wine and markets | l.h

notes: hello week two of our winter themed fics and this time we got our lovely lu. enjoy!!  warnings: none word count: 1.8K!

-

“If I knew that you’d be this excited, I’d have flown us out weeks ago.” 

The grumble had come from Luke-who was standing in your bathroom-getting ready for the afternoon to evening festivities. You tried to keep the smugness from your tone as you answered back.

“It wasn’t running a few weeks ago. Not to mention, it’s not often we get the full Christmas Market to visit. Usually we only get to sneak to one or two stalls before you’re inevitably found by fans.” 

Luke stuck his head around the door, a soft smile on his lips at your words. 

“Well let’s hope that this time they actually give us space.” You didn’t have it in you to scoff at his optimism, the way his smile practically lit up his face giving you even more reason to hold back the derision of his optimistic outlook. 

“Well we might have the chance if you actually get ready.” You shot back with a grin and he laughed in return before disappearing back into the bathroom.

By the time the pair of you left the hotel that you were staying in, the winter chill in England had really set in as the sun began to set, despite it only being three in the afternoon. Both of you were wrapped up in warm coats, scarves and gloves, Luke going for a hat whilst you’d decided on ear muffs, unwilling to let the hat ruin your hair.

“I spent enough time getting it to look nice.” You protested at Luke’s tease whilst you waited for the train. You’d both decided that instead of driving there, you’d go by train and walk into the city, making it less stressful for the both of you.

“And I’m saying that it does look nice, but a hat might be better.” HE tried to be soothing with his words, but the smile on his lips still caused you to respond in a childlike manner, sticking your tongue out at him.

He laughed as the two of you climbed onto the train, finding two seats together and huddling down. You didn’t want to draw attention to yourselves, hence why Luke had opted for the hat, but you knew that there would be fans who would just be there by chance that day.

“Please baby? The ear muffs look cute, but I’d rather you be able to actually hear what I’m saying and not have to repeat it.” His plea caught you off guard and so you tried not to grin at his words.

“What was that?” 

“I said-” Luke cut himself off, glaring at the almost innocent like grin you were wearing. “I said you’re a menace.” He muttered before leaning down to kiss you, plucking the ear muffs off despite your feeble protests.

Once the woolen hat was on your head, despite your glare, the two of you managed to get a few photos together before the train started to become unbearably packed and Luke’s leg began to bounce on the spot.

Immediately your fingers came to rest on his thigh, giving a gentle squeeze as he shifted himself to let his head rest on your shoulder, your own head tilting to rest on him once he was comfortable. The journey itself wasn’t bad, but feeling like tinned sardines was not what you’d wanted for this trip.

When the two of you escaped from the train with the rest of the crowd-Luke stumbling which caused your own feet to trip-the two of you cling together, giggling like teenagers as you made it through the barriers, the lights that decorated the city took your attention briefly. 

You missed Luke pulling his phone out of his pocket to snap a photo of your distracted gaze. 

Finally, looking back at him, Luke’s eyes met yours and you felt the breath being stolen from your chest at the loving look he was giving you. Lips curved into the smallest of smiles and features soft as he pressed a kiss to your lips.

“Come on then, beautiful. Let’s get our Christmas shop on.” His words set you off into a fit of laughter as he held his arm out for you to loop yours around-which you did so once you’d stopped laughing-and pull you with the direction of the crowd.

For once, the pair of you seemed to blend in with the crowd, normally a difficult feat for Luke, but he managed it and no one seemed to clock there was a famous rockstar in their midsts.

The first few stalls were food, neither of you really wanting anything just yet.

“Is there something with like a map so we can plan a route?” Luke asked you quietly.

Your response was a mere shrug before you eyed two people with neon jackets on. Keeping your arm locked around Luke’s, you pulled him to the pair, a warm smile on your lips as they seemed to register that you were deliberately coming to them for help.

“You both okay there?” One of them asked and you smiled in return.

“We’re just fine, but we were wondering is there anything with a map on so we know where we are? We’re not local to this area and We want to be able to see as much as possible.” They both laughed at your response before the first one who greeted you pulled out a small booklet. 

“Always carry one of these just in case. We’re here,” he pointed at the dot labelled with ‘The Lodge’ “and the markets are all clustered around these four areas. Take this as it’s got the various stalls marked down so you can see if you want to visit them or not.” 

You both thanked the pair before you moved to the bar called the lodge, both of you seemingly flicking through the booklet with a cursory glance.

“How about we start up by the abbey and then work our way down through the town?” Luke queried, his index finger tracing a rough route for the two of you to work with. 

“That’s not a bad idea. If we get hungry it looks like there are plenty of food stalls scattered in the areas. Right. Lead the way.” You looked up at him almost expectantly and he laughed before pinching the booklet from your hands, his eyes tracking the map before pulling you up the high street.

You stopped at a couple of the stalls, eyes looking over the handmade goodies that were offered. A few had little testers or samples for the two of you to try. Your favourite had been the coconut tea where as Luke had promptly choked on a bit of chilli sauce samples that were being offered, making you laugh.

As you reached the top and began to really browse the stalls, occasionally asking for prices, you came across a beautiful necklace with a guitar charm attached. At this point, Luke had wondered to the next stall and you smiled at the owner before motioning her quietly.

“Can I have that wrapped up please?” Your voice was gentle and she immediately understood the silent request to not draw attention to your purchase. She had it wrapped up in moments, offering the card machine as you tapped your phone to it, the small ding going off. 

“I have a business card if ever you see something on the website that you might want to add to the gift later on.” She slipped the card into the bag and you nodded in thanks before taking it and making your way to Luke.

He’d already gone past two stalls and hesitated as you browsed what he’d already seen. Slipping through the bodies, he made his way back to you, despite only being meters away, there was a lot of people fighting to either get through the crowds or see every stall like the two of you were doing.

“Sorry babe, I wouldn’t have gone so far ahead if I didn’t know you were still looking.” You beamed at him.

“It’s fine. C’mon, lets see if we can find the most obnoxious gift for Ash. I’m getting my revenge for last Christmas.” You muttered, earning a snort of laughter from him as the two of you continued to make your way through.

Both of you often wondered from each other, arms building up with bags as you made purchases. You’d decided on the coconut tea when you reached the stall once more and Luke grimaced, making you stick out your tongue in response to the look he gave you.

“I’m not gonna make you drink it, so don’t worry.” You snarked at him, a grin on your lips as he rolled his eyes.

“Like I’d touch that stuff. You’re gonna be as bad as Ash with his coffee addiction.” He fired back and you gave a mock gasp of offence and the lady behind the small wooden counter stifled a laugh.

“How dare you compare me to that coffee addict. That’s gonna take at least a mulled wine and some food to soothe my hurt feelings.” This time the woman outright laughed as she handed you your purchases. 

“There’s a stand just inside the abbey, neon yellow sign so you can’t miss it. They do good hot food and mulled wine.” Luke mouthed a thanks as he took your arm and the two of you made your way through.

“You enjoying your day, love?” He asked once you’d both gotten some food and a spot on a bench to sit down. At first, Luke was insisting he was fine to stand before you forced him to sit down, perching on his lap and shifting yourself sideways so he could at least eat his food without it potentially getting knocked from his hands.

You’d both decided to share a mulled wine between you, the sweet taste and hot drink making your insides feel much warmer than the cold air now that the sun had set.

Luke had snapped a photo of you with the drink in both of your hands, a laugh escaping at your wine of protest.

“How can I not when you look so cute all wrapped up with a slight red nose from the cold?” At your pout, he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before gently tapping your thighs.

“C’mon, we have more stalls to see and I can hear some buskers. Fancy a dance with me?” You laughed as you got up off him, mockingly bowing to him which in turn made him laugh at your dramatics.

“Alright smartass. Let's get going so we can get the last of this done before we head back to the hotel.”

You could only grin in return as you kept yourself tucked into his side, your arms squeezing gently as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Love you Lu.” 

“Love you too, c’mon I can see a stall for pets accessories.” And without another word, he was pulling you further into the crowd, both of you with silly grins stretched across your faces which lasted well until you were settled back into bed, slightly drunk from the various mulled drinks you’d consumed throughout the trip.

-

if you want to be added to the taglist just fill in this form!!

@sexgodashton​​​, @dammitbands​​​, @calumsmermaid​​​, @empathycth​​​, @gorgeouslygrace​​​, @calpops​​​, @rosecolouredash​​​, @cal-puddies​​​, @clockwork124​​​, @valentinelrh​​​, @stellar5sosrecs​​​, @ashtoniwir​​​, @cthla​​​, @liketheydidwithyou​​​, @scxttishpotath0e​​​, @bluehairedtracii​​​, @drummerboy794​​​, @easierforcalum​​​, @i-calumhood​​​, @thecurlsofgod​​​, @converse-luke​​​, @madbomb​​​, @ccnicole02​​​, @youngblood199456​​​, @aulxna, @megz1985​​​, @lukesidentitycrisis​​​, @snapback-irwie​​​, @neonweeknds​​​, @666yourwitchyfriend666​​​, @clffrd​​​, @cashtonasfuck​​​, @ashtaway​​​, @conquerwhatliesahead92​​​, @itjustkindahappenedreally​​​, @twoamhood​​​, @kchillout​​​, @damselindistressanu​​​, @colormekaykay​​​, @findingliam-o​​​, @sublimehood​​​, @sugarcoated-pain​​​, @singt0mecalum​​​, @singledadharrington​​​, @sweetbbypeachy​​​, @calumspeachy​​​, @colourfulcalum​​​, @lostincalum​​​, @burncrashbromance​​​, @asht0ns-world​​​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​​​, @loti18​​​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​​​, @clumclum-hood​​​, @fangirl-everythang​​​, @lashtondaddies​​​, @calumssunshine​​​, @ambskiwi​​​, @abundant-stars​​​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​​​, @lmao5sosimagines​​​, @beyoncesdragon​​​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​​​, @cxddlyash​​​, @tresfandom​​​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​​​, @niallisworld​​​, @lietomevalntyn​​​, @babylon-corgis​​​, @monochrome44​​​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​​​, @ghost0fy0u​​​, @lyllibug​​​, @bloodmoonashton​​​, @rhiannonmichelle​​​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​​​​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​​​​, @ghostofmashton​​​​, @summerellaz​​​​, @a-little-less-sixteen​​​​, @cashworthy​​​​, @colourfulcalum​​​, @smokeinherlungs​​​, @longlastingdaydream​​​, @h0tsos​​​, @sweetcherrymike​​, @5sosnsfw​​,

[wawaluxthings]

13, 21, 31, 45!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you  ♡

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Have brilliant idea on the verge of falling asleep. Pass out with so many words buzzing in my skull I actually dream of writing the story (but it’s all very stressful because I can only see with half my eyes and the keyboard keeps jumping around and the word doc won’t open fully). Wake up and words are gone, lucky if idea has survived and vocabulary is now restricted to grocery list. Turn on spotify. Stare at blank page. Stare at blank page. Stare at blank page. Wait for someone to give me crazy shit tons of work to do on a tight deadline. Of course words come back all at once. Begin writing frenzy which has me frothing at the mouth. Tell my better half that I’m just browsing the internet when he asks me why I’m typing so much. Convince myself I’ll read the paragraph one more time and then I’ll do the work. Three hours later, have full story out, rush through work and pretend I was doing that all along. Try to stop mouse from hovering over the word icon that wants to suck me back in. Wait for next day to fix the story. Amaze myself at how many words I skipped and how many times I changed tenses. Try to resist posting it. Give it one more night, fresh eyes, squint to spot the typos, get lost in some grammar that I’m not sure is correct. Bounce around in happiness cos this is the greatest thing EVER. Realize I forgot to do a title. Play around with words that really don’t mean anything. Read every possible synonym of simple words. Write up a summary in 2 minutes. Upload to the website and TRY to read it one more time because otherwise I’ll spot the mistakes too late. Don’t usually make it. Click ‘post’ with a grin. Immediately hate every word. Immediately hate idea. Try not to stare at stats page. Stare at stats page and refresh like a moron. Wonder how much the people who clicked on it and left hate me. Decide I’m the worst writer in history and this was so stupid, why did I bother. Close laptop and hide phone out of sight so I can stop checking stats page. Stare at tv and think of stats page. Go to bed. Tell myself I’ll just delete it in the morning. Wake up and don’t delete it. Have another story/art to obsess about.

OR – Have idea, almost get fired in haste to write it, check for typos, post, live with dark thoughts, forget about it all, move on.

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

Ohh Matt and Foggy for sure. I love exploring how Matt perceives the world around him, how different things will sound to him or the smells and textures that we wouldn’t be able to notice ourselves. Foggy just makes me happy! I see him as the light that contrasts Matt’s darkness. I think we have a little bit of Foggy in all of us, the insecure, good-hearted spirit that is just pure awesome. It makes me happy to know that I can use him to make my readers smile.

31. Least favourite part of writing

A few, very random ones: 1) Writer’s block. It’s been killing me lately. It feels like you lost whatever you had, like it won’t ever come back; 2) The fear that comes with posting. It’s a thrill and can be so rewarding, but the first few hours are just darkness (phew, we are all so broken, aren’t we?); 3) Accepting that the story is just not working, and scrapping whole paragraphs. The words look at me with big sad puppy eyes and it breaks my heart, so I have this whole document of ‘could potentially use one day’ sentences that I’ll likely never use (but shh, don’t tell them); 4) Trying not to use the same words all the time. My brain just goes THERE, every time. I have to highlight them so I don’t forget to swap them out.

45. How much world building do you do?

I had to google what world building was lol, so is that an answer? I think not much at all. It helps that we all have an idea of who the characters are, and what their environment looks like already. I tend to start a story mid-scene and only add details if I think it will help the reader understand something. I know people can’t stand long descriptions, no matter how beautiful the wording is. I’ve stopped reading so many books cos they were too busy describing something, and I honestly didn’t care enough.

Thanks again for the ask!

[cafedanslanuit]

Headcannon for RFA+V with MC who wants to run her own business please?

I also added Saeran bc I couldn’t help myself. Chose a different business for each character

Yoosung

When you tell him about owning your own business, he thinks you’re going to start selling cookies at college

You make the best cookies he’s ever had

Uhm, no, Yoosung, I’m thinking about something bigger

cakes?

Your own pastry shop

“but make it pet friendly”

DONE

You pull a lot of all-nighters and you take extra shifts at your current job so you can save

Yoosung offers some money, but you decline. You’re going to start small.

You definitely do need help to decide which desserts are going on display

He tries them all and gives them a score

He’s there on the opening, gives you a bouquet of flowers and cries a little, blaming on his allergies

He doesn’t have allergies

Jaehee

You’ve always liked coffee but you’re pretty sure Jaehee has an obsession

It’s nice though, she has different brands of coffee around her place and lets you have a different one every day you come visit

So, when you tell her you want to start your own coffee shop, she’s ecstatic

She quits C&R the very next day

poor Jumin is confused

You wake up the next day and she has prepared a huge binder with all the information you could need and more

is there a way you could love her even more?

Zen

He’s usually pretty busy with rehearsals so when he comes home, you’re asleep

he still wakes you up for some lovin’

But it’s been a few nights he’s found you browsing the web, glasses on, taking notes on a little notebook

One night, before suggesting doing something romantic, he asks what you’re working on

You show him your notes

Accidentally you end up giving him an entire powerpoint presentation

You want to start designing costumes for theatre and movie productions, you’ve actually had a little bit of training at college

He’s pretty excited

Asks you to design a few for a musical he’s on so he can suggest them to the director

supportive!Zen for life

Jumin

You’re taking your morning coffee whilst admiring the view from Jumin’s penthouse when suddenly someone knocks on the door

Which is weird because you weren’t expecting anyone?

“Jumin, darling, I appreciate it, but I want to do this alone? No, it’s not just a little bit of help, you sent a team of ten people to our house”

He’s trying

It’s no easy job to set up a law firm, and you know it

But hell, you’re a lawyer and you’re pretty good at your job, you have amazing colleagues so why not?

Jumin stops sending you his team, but sets up a small office for you in the penthouse, so you can have meetings and work more comfortable

The least a husband can do, says

Sometimes he still offers his help, but he’s now more respecting of your boundaries

Seven

“MC, what do you mean I can’t hack so you get your license faster?”

saeyoung, no

He’s obviously your first costumer, buys a big flower arrangement with your favourite flowers

You find it on your night stand when you come home

“There’s my favourite hardworking girl!”

He doesn’t know a lot about flowers but apparently you do

And hell, the flower shop looks amazing, the arrangements are beautiful

You stumble a bit when you’re trying to organize orders

So, he sets up a website with an easy and nice way the customers can choose how they want their flower arrangement, which flowers they’d like and what is the occasion

It makes your job easier

thank u, Saeyoung

V

He’s obviously a supportive boyfriend

Listens to you carefully while you give your ideas for the app you’re developing

He’s still amused by how intelligent you are

Like programming? He thought it was only a thing guys like Luciel could do but there you are

He helps you prepare your pitch to get funding from big companies

Always brings you a cup of tea or coffee when you’re working at home

Also gives you back massages when you take breaks

a n g e l

Saeran

When you decided to open an art studio, you didn’t think it was one of the best ideas you’ve ever had

Not only for yourself, but for Saeran too

Who could have thought art was so therapeutic

everyone, MC

You sell art supplies and also give art classes in the afternoon

You have a group of kids, teenagers and adults

At first, Saeran didn’t like hanging around the store, but once he’s there bringing you lunch and is captivated by the way you’re teaching a little girl to use her brush

He stays for the rest of the class, surprised the kids aren’t afraid of him

Now he’s a regular at your 4 pm classes

He even buys some stuff and you’ve seen him drawing some Sunday mornings

Saeyoung put Saeran’s first drawing on the fridge

His mood is better since he’s started going to your classes

When he does, he helps you close the store and walks you home

You even stay in the store once after closing and end up making love on the floor. Paint is involved.

Opening the store was definitely the best idea you’ve ever had.

[allie1804-fan]

New Beginnings (Chapter 10)

1  2 3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12

New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

Warnings: Mentions of babyloss

Emily sat at an outside table at the Jinya Ramen bar, waiting for Keanu to join her for lunch. Afterwards they would have an appointment with the counsellor. She stretched her legs out, resting her hand on her large bump  - she was now 33 weeks along.

She sipped on a mineral water and sighed, reflecting on the last 4 months, wondering how it had come to pass that this appointment felt like it was going to be more geared to relationship counselling than to helping them cope with the trauma of their difficult journey to and through pregnancy.

She had felt so happy after the 12 week scan.  After they’d made love again for the first time since finding out they were pregnant, their sex life had got back to pretty much normal though he was always that bit more gentle with her than before.  He had seemed more relaxed and confident too. He’d come to the first appointment with the midwife where they were able to hear the heartbeat  - he was as thrilled as her to hear the rapid sound, kind of like a galloping horse, through the doppler machine.

For the next few weeks after that, at the weekly check in he’d try to be there but if he couldn’t, she would ring him or record the sound if he couldn’t break out from what he was doing. They had both felt so tempted to buy a doppler machine to monitor the heartbeat at home but decided that might mean she’d just be wired up to it 24/7 and the midwife cautioned against it since finding the heartbeat could sometimes be tricky and that would only cause unwarranted anxiety.

Not long after that was when the press had found out - was that when things had started to change she mused? By 16 weeks, so few of her clothes still fit that she had  decided to go on a shopping trip  with Chloe as she didn’t want to order everything online and she loved clothes shopping with Chloe.

They weren’t trying to be conspicuous but they’d gone somewhere quite fancy for lunch and a paparazzo had seen them there and followed them to a store afterwards, taking long range shots of them through the window in the maternity section of one store. With her growing bump on show there was no hiding now and the news got out. They themselves hadn’t participated particularly – Cheryl had just released a brief statement  confirming the pregnancy and “the following summer” as the due date. Her Fellow writers from the show she was working on had congratulated her at work and her and Keanu’s phones were constantly bleeping  for a few days with congratulations messages. Cheryl fended off numerous interview requests as neither of them felt ready nor that it should really be public business.

Each subsequent milestone had passed without a problem for the next 3 months.  At 20 weeks the baby was healthy and on track developmentally. They decided to wait until it was born to find out the sex. Why spoil one of life’s only remaining surprises just because you could?

Probably the biggest thrill so far was when she’d felt the baby move for the first time – it was at around At 22 weeks and had felt like flutters of a butterfly’s wings or bubbles of gas in her tummy. A couple of weeks later it was what they had termed “somersault city” when at last he could feel it too. The weird feeling of the baby turning inside was so dramatic it had woken her up in the early hours and she’d woken him to share it, certain that it could be felt by him now too. His favourite thing after that was to sit on a chair when she had a bath and watch her belly wriggle as she lay in the warm water. And throughout the pregnancy, even during these recent rockier times, he’d continued to talk to the baby every day, loving how he got a reaction each time.

She first remembered Keanu seeming a little down and distracted at around 28 weeks. They had made a trip to a store to look at furniture and equipment for the nursery. She’d been contented to browse different styles of crib, nursing chairs and changing stations but he’d wanted to make quick decisions. She didn’t know if it was because he’d been recognised a couple of times outside in the mall or something else. Then once they’d made decisions, they’d almost had a row in the shop when the store assistant had asked for delivery details. She assumed it could all  be delivered now while he said it could wait till when the baby had arrived or if not that long, could be stored at his mother’s home. She’d given in to the latter plan, determined to try and get on with setting up the nursery before too long  - she wanted things ready well in advance of delivery.

At 30 weeks, childbirth classes had started - there were some nice couples there who Emily thought might even become friends but Keanu was standoffish. If she didn’t know him, she’d have said he was being stuck up! Again she gave him the benefit of the doubt – maybe he was shy or nervous of them because they might be weird given his ‘celebrity’ status.

The next thing that had made her start to think about seeing the counsellor again had happened just the week before.  Keanu was due to do some press for a new film being released and Cheryl had come over to the house to talk to them together.  They needed to decide whether to talk about the baby at all and if he did what to say.  He’d very quickly cut off the conversation saying that he wanted Cheryl to inform all press that he only wanted to talk about the project or Arch. Emily had looked at him questioningly

“I just can’t” he’d said getting up and walking away out onto the patio.

Emily’s eyes had filled with tears. Cheryl saw and tried to reassure her

“I guess he knows he might get tongue tied or emotional and he’s on safe ground with the movie - and he wants the story to be the movie I guess”

Later that same week Keanu had met Autumn (an old friend and an old flame) for coffee  and a photo of him hugging her and kissing her on the cheek had been posted on an online gossip site along with snide comments about him cheating - Chloe shared it with Emily, feeling she shouldn’t be kept in the dark even if it was probably all nonsense. When Emily showed him, he said he’d just run into Autumn by chance when stopping for a coffee and  that she should know better than to read anything on such shitty websites.

Em had burst into tears at his harsh outburst. It was the last straw building on his recent sullen mood, his unwillingness to bring home the things for the baby’s room and reluctance to talk about it and her to the press.

“I’m sorry baby” he said putting his arm around her. I didn’t mean to snap, it’s just ……….. “

“Just what?” she sniffed

At his continuing silence, she made a decision

“Please can we go back to see the counsellor?, I feel like we’re drifting apart just when we should be the closest we’ve ever been”

Keanu’s shoulders slumped and he nodded. “OK I’ll set it up”

Emily looked up from her musings as Keanu greeted her, arriving from another press interview about the new film release

“Did it go OK?” she asked.

“Yup, it was fine. There seems to be positive buzz around it so fingers crossed. You OK?, you looked a million miles away when I arrived!”

“Did I?” she sighed “just thinking over the past few months, thinking about what the counsellor is going to ask”

He nodded, taking hold of her hand and leaning in to give her a kiss “you know I love you don’t you?”

Emily blushed hoping they weren’t drawing unwelcome attention with his public display of affection. It was unlike him to do something like that and it gave her a little reassurance.

“and how’s the munchkin?”

“Bit quieter today. It’s getting kind of tight for space in there I think”

She caught the trace of a shadow crossing Keanu’s face but then she yelped in surprise

“you OK?” he asked immediately

She burst out laughing

“Yes, I just got kicked right up here” she pointed quite high up by her rib-cage “I think they want to make their presence felt”

His grin was wide

“that’s my boy ……. or girl” he said happily “let’s eat”

Their meal was relaxed and Keanu seemed happier than he had in a few weeks.

At the counselling session she asked what had prompted the need to come back.

Emily was wondering where to begin when Keanu took a deep breath and spoke.

“It’s my fault” he began. “Even after everything we discussed before, about communicating our feelings and not believing that being positive can only lead to disaster, I’ve fallen back to my old ways”

“How so exactly?” she probed and he went onto explain directing his words to Emily more than the counsellor.

“I guess as things have gone on, instead of being more confident, I’m back to being shit scared ALL the time Em and I mean ALL the time and you’ve been so happy and excited, I didn’t want to spoil that with my dark thoughts. That’s why I didn’t want to bring home stuff for the nursery or talk to the press or make friends with other couples at the birthing class. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you”

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration with himself roughing it up as usual but his shoulders relaxed and it looked like a great weight had lifted off them now that he’d acknowledged his fears. Em reached out for his hand.

“I didn’t know what was bothering you and I didn’t ask either, I’m so sorry, this must be so hard on you after Ava”

“Have you talked to Emily about what happened with Ava Keanu?”

“Not really” he admitted “how would sharing that horror help?”

“Because then she can better understand why you feel the way you do. Talking about it won’t make it happen to this baby, remember. Denial and bottling up are not good coping mechanisms. Talking and being open are”

Later that night, as agreed in the session, they sat together on the sofa and Keanu had shared the details of the loss of Ava, starting with the frantic phone call to him on the set of “The Watcher” in New York after Jen had been told there was no heartbeat.

“God, she was just screaming and wailing down the phone, begging me to come home”

“God” was all Emily could say, the horror of it sinking in just a little.

“So I flew home straight away and on fucking Christmas Eve she had to deliver the baby naturally. You could hear the cries of other babies being born down the corridor but when Ava came out, all warm and beautiful it was just deafening silence”

“come  ‘ere” Em said pulling him down so he could lean his head in her lap  and let the tears out, great wracking sobs shaking his chest.

When he sat up he looked over at her, his expression wretched

“why? Why does it still hurt so much – it’s been fucking 21 years”

“it hurts because it was so awful and pain like that never goes away, you just cushion it and hide it I guess with the life and relationships that come after it”

“wow  that’s deep

“what can I say?” she said smiling “I am a writer you know “I’m supposed to understand the human condition – just sorry I didn’t use those skills to see what was going on with you”

“And  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just didn’t want you to get scared of losing this little one” he said stroking her belly.

“You can’t stop me being scared hun, I am scared and maybe a little more each day as we get closer. It still feels like it could get taken away but every time they give me a kick or jump on my bladder and stop me sleeping then I feel OK. Maybe that makes it easier for me as well as the fact I didn’t go through what you did.”

He hugged her close and they went to bed feeling so much better for sharing their hopes and fears.

1  2 3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12

New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

[purplesurveys]

671

So my school is indefinitely shifting to online classes starting this week and we aren’t having class again until April because of the coronavirus. Wild times.  Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970’s or earlier? Not shows, but movies. Gab introduced me to the Golden Age of Hollywood, and it’s really how we became close friends in the first place. It started with Breakfast at Tiffany’s, then Gone with the Wind, then Mildred Pierce, Waterloo Bridge...then it just kinda snowballed from there. I am a fan of a certain old show, but it ran from the mid-1980s to the early 90s – Perfect Strangers. Who’s your celebrity crush(es)? My top 3 would be Kristen Stewart, Hayley Williams, and Beyonce. I don’t like leaving any one of them out haha. What do you think of fake people? Sometimes you gotta do it, dude. Sometimes it’s not about being fake, it’s being polite and civil. What I do have a problem with is being two-faced with people who genuinely see you as a trusted friend. Whats a song you absolutely hate? I can’t fucking stand Demi Lovato’s new ballad, the one that starts off with “I tried to talk to my piano...” I also can’t stand most Halsey songs because of her voice. Ever been to a rave? Nah. I’ve always preferred parties, but I’m not opposed to trying out a rave at least just once. 

Are you afraid to name the person you talk the most shit about? Lmao not at all, but only because this Tumblr is private anyway. Patrice. I’d be a little more hesitant if this had a bit of an audience, though. Are you a jealous person? Not really jealous. I’d say envious is more fitting for me. Who do you text the most out of your friends? My girlfriend, def. I message everyone the equal amount on Messenger though because it’s where everyone is. Song playing right now? I don’t feel like listening to music right now. I do have Gabie on video call though, so some sounds on her end serve as background noise at the moment. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? A few times. The weirdest interaction was when a masseuse for my mom came over one evening – and she’s supposed to be a psychic or recognize the supernatural or whatever – and she asked me if I was currently pregnant. Are you really interested in the lives of celebrities like Miley Cyrus?
 I’m not invested but if I come across an article, I’d take a few minutes to read. I wouldn’t voluntarily go to gossip websites or buy celebrity magazines though. What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public?
 Probably wouldn’t do anything as I don’t wanna be entangled in shady businesses like that. If you don’t have to be up by a certain time, do you like to sleep in as late as possible?
 Sleeping in sounds wonderful, but my body generally doesn’t allow me to. I’m usually fully awake by 8 or 9. What did you buy the last time you went clothes shopping?
 I got two of the same Filipiniana-inspired tops but in different colors, one yellow and one black. How many books do you think you read in a month?
 Zero. Not really a secret on this blog anymore but I don’t read much, ha. How often do you play video games? What are some of your favourites?
 Uhhhh not a lot. I never did get the hang of video games so you will only ever see me playing easy and kiddie ones lmao, like Mario Kart. I tried playing Resident Evil on my own once, couldn’t get through the literal first and easiest mission because I kept dying. Anyway, my favorite may have to be GTA San Andreas - lots of memories with that baby, even though I did always just watch my cousins and dad do all the video gaming. What are a few things that get on your nerves when it comes to Facebook (or your social networking site of choice)?
 Boomers sharing pubmats with awful layout/graphics, boomers sharing daily Bible verses, and boomers being stubborn about fake news. Do you keep a hand-written journal or diary?
 I used to. But Tumblr’s served as my diary for the last seven or so years now, too. What are three things you’ve started to like lately? BOJACK HORSEMAN, the Cold Brew Malt drink from Starbucks Reserve, and the electric fan we have in the living room that I’ve always found to be too loud and too cold/strong – now that the weather’s beginning to feel warm again, that fan’s been a damn blessing. What was the last reason for having butterflies in your stomach?
 Gab requested we video-call tonight because we haven’t seen each other in a while due to the virus outbreak – I hate hate hate video calls and never do them even with her, but because she asked and because she genuinely wanted to, I said yes. If you live with your parents, do you spend a lot of time with them? If you don’t, how often do you go home to visit them?
 I live with them. I don’t really spend time with them as I like having my own space. Having them under the same roof is enough for me. Do you need a lot of space in relationships, or are you happy to spend a lot of time with your SO?
 I can be pretty clingy so I tend to be the latter, but I’ll also want my space sometimes. What was the last thing you cooked from scratch? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Have you ever won anything from those games in arcades?
 We’ve hit the jackpot in some arcade games that awarded us the maximum number of tickets those games can give, but afaik we’ve never spent our saved points on big prizes. We just like to keep accumulating the points haha. When was the last time you went out to a fair?
 First day of February. Came back for my high school’s fair. How far is the nearest zoo or wildlife park from your house? Do you go often?
 I’d say the nearest ‘zoo’ is the eco-park in my school. It’s up a mountain but it’s a pretty quick drive, only takes about 15-20 minutes to get there. And nah dude, I haven’t been there since high school. What are you wearing at the moment? Is it for any particular reason? A tank and a pair of shorts. Do you have anything interesting planned over the next few days?
 Ugh no. This virus is making us stay home for THE NEXT MONTH. Hoping I don’t go crazy. What do you do when you can’t get to sleep?
 I watch something on YouTube or Netflix, or I browse Reddit. Super effective. Are you a morning person? Or does it take you a long time to wake up properly? Am a morning person. I was kinda forced to be ever since I was 4, considering I lived relatively far from my school which meant that the school bus always had to pick me up way earlier than the other kids. In the 14 years I spent in my alma mater I had to wake up at 5 AM every single day, which can easily explain why I’ve never been able to properly sleep in. How old is your oldest living relative?
 I’m pretty sure I still have a living paternal great-grandparent. Not sure about their age, though. Are either one of your parents retired? If not, what do they do for a living?
 My mom is a confidential secretary at a hotel. My dad is an executive sous chef. Do you buy a lot of DVD’s, or do you tend to just watch everything online for free?
 We used to buy DVDs; we had multiple racks back then. But time is obviously a-changing so I watch everything online now, either through Netflix or through sites that illegally stream movies haha. Could you happily spend the day in your pajamas? Or do you prefer to be out and about doing things?
 I’d rather be out and do stuff. Spending the day at home doing nothing can be pretty daunting and claustrophobic. When was the last time you were in a hospital, and what was the reason?
 2010, when I had to be admitted for a low platelet count. Does everyone in your household own their own computer? My mom and brother don’t have one. Do you find that your feet get unusually hot at night sometimes? No, this has never happened to me before.

[suckitsurveys]

1 - What did you do to celebrate your last birthday? Did you get any decent gifts? I had an online Cards Against Humanity Party one day and then celebrated with my family and had sushi another day. I got some pretty cool gifts!

2 - What was the last “random act of kindness” you experienced? My sister gave me an early present I wasn’t expecting. It was a BoJack Horseman planner. 

3 - Have you ever “paid it forward” by putting money behind the counter somewhere so the next person can get a free coffee or similar? I’ve bought someone’s drinks before.

4 - What caused the last injury that made you bleed? Was it a serious injury? I have two HUGE zits on my forehead and one popped just from me moving my eyebrows and it bled. Ew.

5 - Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Are you close to that person at all? My dad and yes.

6 - What was the last item you received in the mail? A gift for someone. There might be some stuff out there now. I’ll check when I go get my curbside pick up in a bit.

7 - When was the last time you received flowers? What kind were they? I don’t remember. 

8 - Are you a fan of salted caramel? What about other “odd” combinations like sea salt and chocolate or chilli and chocolate? I LOVE salted caramel. I love caramel anything. I’ve tried sea salt and chocolate before as well. And probably other odd food combos but I am drawing a blank. 

9 - Do you enjoy watching bloopers or outtakes from TV shows? If so, which series do you think has the funniest ones? Yes. Parks and Rec has some really hilarious ones. 

10 - What’s your favourite dessert food? Brownies or cheesecake.

11 - Do you have any really dangerous wild animals where you live? Have you ever encountered any of them? Nothing super dangerous but we have coyotes and foxes that roam around sometimes.

12 - Have you ever dreamed of owning your own shop? What kind of thing would you like to sell? Nah.

13 - Are you a twin? If not, would you ever want to be a twin? If you are a twin, do you ever wish you weren’t? I wanted to be a twin SO bad when I was a kid. 

14 - Do you prefer wearing your hair straight or curly? My hair is naturally straight and that’s how I prefer it day to day. I’d like to curl it sometimes if I had the skills lol.

15 - Would you ever want to go and visit the moon? Sure.

16 - What was the last hot drink you had? What about cold drink? Or alcoholic drink? Tea/Water/vodka tonic. 

17 - Does anything on your body hurt or ache right now? Yeah.I’m having cramps for the first time in MONTHS.

18 - When was the last time you struggled to get to sleep? Was there was a specific reason for that? The other night. My anxiety has been really bad lately.

19 - What three countries would you most like to visit? I’m okay.

20 - Who’s your closest friend from another country? How did you come to meet this person? I don’t have any friends from other countries.

21 - When was the last time you had a cold? With everything going on in the news, did you worry that it was COVID? Thankfully it was before COVID.

22 - As of today (10th December, 2020) the COVID vaccine is being rolled out in the UK. Are you going to have it once it’s available to you (if it ever is)? Yes, I am. I’ve eaten hot dogs, drank malort, shared joints with strangers, drank from public water fountains and swam in Lake Michigan. I’m not worried about what’s in the vaccine. 

23 - What are your favourite websites to browse when you’re bored? Do people browse websites anymore? Don’t we just all use apps and shit on our phones?

24 - Do you think people should have to pass a test in order to own pets? I think they should have to pass a test to become a fucking parent so we stop ending up with so many fucked up youths. 

25 - When was the last time you fell asleep/had a nap during the day? Is this something that happens often? It rarely happens. The last time I remember that happening was on my birthday.

26 - Do you suffer/have you ever suffered with bad acne? What kind of things did you do to try and improve it? My skin is so bad. 

27 - When you think about it, do you think it’s odd that we stop drinking human milk at a young age, but we happily drink milk from other species instead? Whatever.

28 - How’s the weather where you are? Is this a good or a bad thing for you? It’s cold af.

29 - When was the last time you ate a pizza? What toppings did you get? A few weeks ago. It was pepperoni and black olive.

30 - How often do you wear make-up? What kind of make-up do you wear? Rarely. When I do it’s usually foundation/cover up, eyeliner, a little mascara, and sometimes a red lip. And sometimes winged eyeliner. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

1 - What did you do to celebrate your last birthday? Did you get any decent gifts? Well, this year other than the doctor appointment I had that morning I didn’t go anywhere. I had one of my favorite breakfasts, my fam and I watched, You Should Have Left, I opened presents, and I had Wingstop (my fave takeout) for dinner and a coffee cake for dessert. It was super chill and I was perfectly fine with that. And yes, I enjoyed and appreciated all my gifts. I always do.

2 - What was the last “random act of kindness” you experienced? My brother had a Starbucks for me when he picked me up from my doctor appointment yesterday and then he bought me lunch. I’ve been obsessed with this local place lately that makes the best breakfast sandwiches I’ve ever had and they serve it all day, which is a bonus for a late sleeper like me. Anyway, I didn’t know he was going to do that and it was very kind so does that count?

3 - Have you ever “paid it forward” by putting money behind the counter somewhere so the next person can get a free coffee or similar? No.

4 - What caused the last injury that made you bleed? Was it a serious injury? Not an injury, but I get hang nails a lot and bleed because my nails are too short. Oh, and from always biting my lip.

5 - Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Are you close to that person at all? My mom and yes we’re very close.

6 - What was the last item you received in the mail? Presents I’ve been ordering.

7 - When was the last time you received flowers? What kind were they? A few years ago for my birthday. It was a variety of flowers, I don’t recall what kind exactly.

8 - Are you a fan of salted caramel? What about other “odd” combinations like sea salt and chocolate or chilli and chocolate? I don’t like salted caramel. I have tried chili and chocolate back when I could eat spicy stuff and it was actually good. Also, chocolate covered potato chips are absolutely delicious.

9 - Do you enjoy watching bloopers or outtakes from TV shows? If so, which series do you think has the funniest ones? Sure. I don’t know what series I’d say has the funniest ones.

10 - What’s your favourite dessert food? Cheesecake, brownies, donuts, muffins, cookies.

11 - Do you have any really dangerous wild animals where you live? Have you ever encountered any of them? Not that I’ve ever seen or encountered. We don’t have bears or mountain lions or anything like that near us.

12 - Have you ever dreamed of owning your own shop? What kind of thing would you like to sell? No.

13 - Are you a twin? If not, would you ever want to be a twin? If you are a twin, do you ever wish you weren’t? I am not a twin. It’s weird to think of someone looking exactly like me (if we were identical twins, obvs). And to think what their personality might be like. Like, would they be completely opposite of me? I do think the bond twins often have is really cool and special, though.

14 - Do you prefer wearing your hair straight or curly? My hair is naturally wavy and I don’t straighten or curl it. It’s always just thrown up in a pony tail or bun because I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it.

15 - Would you ever want to go and visit the moon? No. Just the idea of that and outer space in general absolutely freaks me out. I can’t even look at pictures.

16 - What was the last hot drink you had? What about cold drink? Or alcoholic drink? A peppermint white chocolate mocha from Starbucks yesterday/Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink/I don’t drink alcohol.

17 - Does anything on your body hurt or ache right now? Yes. Surprise, surprise. 

18 - When was the last time you struggled to get to sleep? Was there was a specific reason for that? Every night?

19 - What three countries would you most like to visit? That’s really hard to choose.

20 - Who’s your closest friend from another country? How did you come to meet this person? I don’t have any friends from other countries. Or from my own country for that matter.

21 - When was the last time you had a cold? With everything going on in the news, did you worry that it was COVID? I got a cold back in April, which is during the height of the pandemic when it was still very new here and we were on lockdown and quarantining and things were really crazy. I absolutely worried about it being COVID. Anytime now I feel sick at all I worry it might be that. 

22 - As of today (10th December, 2020) the COVID vaccine is being rolled out in the UK. Are you going to have it once it’s available to you (if it ever is)? Oh wow, this is a super new survey. It’s going to be available very soon where I live as well and I’m gonna be real, it’s scary and I’m totally unsure. It just seems so fast and I’m worried about side effects and gahhhh. 

23 - What are your favourite websites to browse when you’re bored? I switch between my social medias, scroll through Tumblr, and watch YouTube videos.

24 - Do you think people should have to pass a test in order to own pets? What would that even entail?

25 - When was the last time you fell asleep/had a nap during the day? Is this something that happens often? A few days ago. It usually depends how late I sleep in that day. 

26 - Do you suffer/have you ever suffered with bad acne? What kind of things did you do to try and improve it? I didn’t have it too bad. It felt like it at the time, but looking back it wasn’t tooooo bad. 

27 - When you think about it, do you think it’s odd that we stop drinking human milk at a young age, but we happily drink milk from other species instead? Lol it sounds much more weirder to me if we kept drinking our mother’s breast milk as we got older. 

28 - How’s the weather where you are? Is this a good or a bad thing for you? It’s rainy and cold and I absolutely love it.

29 - When was the last time you ate a pizza? What toppings did you get? A little over a week ago. I got white sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, garlic, spinach, crumbled meatballs, and pesto drizzled on top. SO good. Damn it, now I’m craving that. 

30 - How often do you wear make-up? What kind of make-up do you wear? I haven’t worn makeup in like 3, going on 4 years.