#so i want to edit really bad but i cant edit till its done but i dont want to write on it i want to edit it

[sleepy-crypt1d]

someone please give me the motivation to finish my oc/canon BL fic

[ghostlyvoidshark]

hi shark hiii!!! how about something with the reader taking care of shane(stardew valley) or really any character you might prefer. no pressure, just have fun!! :>

Hi friend hiiii!!! Thank you so much for the request! Im happy you could be the first to ask <3 as a Shane lover i appreciate the choice XD I wrote it, edited it, rewrote it then hoped it was good enough. it’s just a short little story but again i hope its a decent start!

not proof read we die like lazy rats.

tw: awkward comfort for depression, talk of depression, Shane stuff

☆__________________________☆

A quiet autumn day. The trees have even painted an array of reds and yellows, the air crisp and fulfilling. You had woken up early on this day, fixing your breakfast and a nice drink to get you started. you put on your work clothes and greeted your pet with a loving pat, opening up the door to greet the rising sun. That first breath of the fresh air sent a pleasant wave through your system, waking you up from what lingering grogginess there was. The chickens just began to crow inside their coop, greeting the morning like you. And so, stepping onto then off the porch, you started your day.

It took you till about mid-day for you to take a break. You liked to get all the important things done first and then move on to the less pressing tasks like running errands and cleaning up around the farm. You started with running errands first to give yourself a small break from the same surroundings, and to have a chance to greet everyone. Almost everyone likes to be out around now.

You headed off to Marnie’s first, saying goodbye for now to your chickens and telling them to behave as you passed them on your way. It didn’t take you long, nothing you could forage catching your eye on the way. Marnie had greeted you with a warm smile when you walked in the door. “Good morning, dear. How are you this afternoon?” She set her book down to give you her full attention. She was sitting in a chair behind the counter. “I’m doing good, how have y’all been?” You returned the smile, walking up to the counter after wiping your shoes on the mat. “I’ve been good and so has Jas, but I cant say the same for Shane.” Your smile fell at that. “Oh dear, Is he okay? Can I do anything to help?” You wanted to do what you could for your friend, already used to running errands for others. Marnie smiled and shook her head with a chuckle. “You’re always caring for others. You’re a good kid, you know that?” You gave her a confused look before hufffing a small laugh and smiling. “Uh, thank you. I take that as hopefully not bad?” She nodded her head, “Yes, he’s just been very exhausted lately. He hasn’t been feeling very well so I fussed at him till he took a break from work for a day.” She threw a warning look towards the hall that led to his room, as if to make sure he really got the message. “I see, well - would you mind if I go see him? I just want to check up on him..” You fiddled nervously with the hem of your clothing. “Of course I don't mind. I’m sure he’d be glad to see you.” She nodded, picking up her book again. “Thank you.” you headed down the hall.

You knocked softly on the door, hoping it was loud enough to be heard without bothering him. There was some grumbling from the other side before a muffled “yeah?” You perked up and leaned towards the door. “Hey, it's me. Can I come in?” There was shuffling and quiet noises you couldn’t pick out before another confirmation. You opened the door carefully and stepped inside. His room was as messy as usual, he understandably struggled with his cleaning habits. You stepped around the things strewn across the floor and made your way over to his bed where you stood over him who looked up at you with misty eyes. “Hey..” You started softly. “Hey…” he replied hoarsely. his voice sounded like it’d break any minute - likely from crying, knowing him.

“I heard you weren’t feeling well so I wanted to visit you. I was worried you had been pushing yourself too hard and gotten sick.” You smiled at him, your brows slightly knit together with worry in a way that made an expression that tugged on his heart strings to make him feel guilty. “That’s not far from the truth, honestly.” He looked away from you and towards the ceiling. “At least,I know that's what you would tell me if I explained myself.”he huffed. “At least you’re becoming self aware.” You chuckle. He rolled his eyes at that. “But I'm glad you were convinced to take a break. Even if you just hold yourself away in a dark room again. Whatever you need to do to feel better.”you reached a hand out, silently asking if you could rest a hand on his arm. He shot you a glance before looking away, not moving to avoid it. So you rest your hand on his arm and gently rub your thumb across the fabric of his jacket. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He thought for a moment, thinking over all that he felt and how he could possibly explain it. He let out a sigh and continued to stare at the ceiling. He started, “I'm so overwhelmed..” He looked off to the side. “I’m feeling so much but am so … so empty. I try so hard to do the bare minimum each day I’m tired of having to do so much and get so little done just to get worse again.” He did his best to explain. You nod along with a Solemn expression, taking his words in carefully. " I've just been feeling awful.." He finally looked towards you, he felt a little calmer when looking at you. "The past few days have just seemed to be going in a downward slope. I thought ... I was getting better but It's like I hit an invisible wall and I’m sliding backwards as soon as I have hope that I'm going to make it somewhere. What did I do wrong?” He sounded so tired and hopeless. As if he had exhausted every method to get out of his situation. When it was apparent he was done you spoke up. “What can I do for you? Like do you want me to just be here and listen or try to help solve the problem? I’m not the best at it but I can try encouragement.” He thought for a moment, a little surprised by your forward news but not really bothered since he had begun to get used to you a little while ago. “I mean … if you feel like it; some encouragement couldn’t hurt..” He shrugged tiredly.”

You took a pause to choose your words carefully, not wanting to give him some spiel he’s likely heard too many times. You wanted to say something genuine and helpful. “Okay, what im going to say is going to be cheezy but give me a chance, okay?” He gave you a hesitant look but nodded. “Just because you're on a downward slide doesn't mean you aren't making progress." he sighed, looking away dramatically. “Yes, yes, I know - how dare i go for a cliche, but like I said - give me a moment to explain.” You pat his shoulder and he looked back at you with a deadpan stare - just so you knew he didn’t approve of this tactic. Unbothered, you continued, "Whether you're up or you're down you're still moving forward. You're not sliding backwards, time just doesn't work that way. You're always learning, always trying, always adding one more day to your victory board. You're not failing, just making progress.you don’t have to do something amazing or supposedly ‘worthwhile’ to say you’re doing good.You don’t have to prove yourself worthy of continuing or being here." You smiled down at him. He had a thoughtful scowl.

Taking that as a sign to continue, you did. "I was told once that depression is like that optical illusion of the triangular stairs. It’s s .. it’s not going to completely go away, you're going to have down days - you're just going to be more prepared for them and able to bounce back better. Like little kids do. One moment you're like 'this is the most horrible thing' and then come back from it just as quickly because you're prepared and have the tools for it. And, hopefully, you'll have the proper stuff you need to fix whatever imbalance you have. Like medication." He didn’t respond during your pause. He felt a bit better that they were being honest with him - being realistic about the future. But one thing bothered him. "I don't want any medicine." He grumbled. "Medicine doesn't make you weak." You snapped at him. Startled, he loo,ed at you bewildered expression. You had never been so quick to genuinely snap at him. "Medicine is a tool not an easy fix. Is a mountain climber weak for having a safety rope? Or a firefighter for having a suit or ax? It's not a quick fix, you're still going to have to put in effort. It just makes the job less of a hassle. And sometimes you can't do anything about your situation because chemicals are messing with you and you need medicine to fight it. Think of it as your sword and shield, you’re still going to have to learn how to wield them - but they make your fight easier to do than if you were bare handed." You took a moment to catch your breath from how much emotion you put into the rant. “Besides… I know you and I know you are not weak. You’re still fighting, aren’t you?”

He looked up at you for a long moment, searching your face for something. Once he got what he was looking for he looked at the ceiling again, unable to hold eye contact without crumbling. But against his wishes his eyes misted over anyways. he felt his throat tighten and his breathing shake. ‘You’re not weak’ echoed in his head. “Thank you.” he muttered. “I know it can't be easy to be my friend. To put up with my low moods.” he voiced his thoughts but you just shook your head with a smile. “It’s not a burden. You’re not a burden to me. I am here because I want to be by your side. Through this and anything else.”

He took in a sharp breath of air and looked at you with a struck, pained look of surprise. Finally, the tears began to stream down his face and he let the dam inside him fall. He put a hand over his mouth to muffle his cries. You carefully sat yourself on the edge of his bed and reached out to him. When he didn’t pull away you held him in a gentle embrace, guiding him ever so carefully to lean against you as you rubbed soothing circles into his shoulder.

“Can you please stay with me?” He choked out through muffled sobs.

“Of course.” you replied

“What about your farm?”

“You’re more important than some chores, but if it makes you rest easy everything is done,”

“thank you..”

“like I said, il’ll be by your side through this.”

[ap-sadistics]

skybound bad end au thoughts

this is more or less copy pasted from twitter. edited slightly

warning for mentions/thoughts of suicide

this is EXTREMELY depressing you have been warned

-

ive been thinking about it. as a fic, in written form, i think there really wouldnt be much of a story. it Is the "end" after all. it would be mostly a snapshot of jays life after the events. and it would also be the most miserable fic in the tag. like. it would be. pure misery. supremely depressing and without even an ounce of hope.

at that point everything thats done to him is just punishment or an act of senseless sadism. depends on the perspective. jay would see as punishment for the things hes done. just karma.

in this bad end au, i think jay would just be a toy. a little plaything for nadakhan and his crew. and delara. he doesnt have much purpose now but why not just keep him as entertainment. until the doll breaks. if he hasnt already. they can just throw him away then

i think it would be best if it has a open ending......... this bad end has the potential to go REALLY dark. but like too much doesnt taste that good you know? like... easily it could go the suicidal route. or jay being literally broken to the point hes killed. too dark you know? 

but like..... i like there to be some hints of possible paths to jays ultimate fate.... its ambiguous but the setup is there.... the beginning signs... like...

jay becoming ill. sick from who knows what thing that has been done to him. an infection? exhaustion and overwork? its not much but its small things like that. a persistent cough or headache. the flush of a fever. his physical health is down the gutter

jay wishing things would end. entertaining a distant thought while he looks over a ledge miles above water. waving the idea away but the feeling of it doesnt truly leave.

maybe hes denying himself of that escape on purpose. that he doesnt deserve a reprieve. hes got a massive guilt complex that pins him there, on that ship, suffering because he knows he deserves it. a part of him is a coward still too. hes scared of taking the leap of the ledge.

the things jay feels are so complicated. he wants to die, hes scared of dying, he doesnt deserve to live but he doesnt deserve to die. he deserves to suffer. he trapped until someone else takes him out of his misery. but no one will.

its much more fun forcing him to dance till he falls apart. hes going to at this rate. a part of him wants to. but another part tells him that he shouldnt. hes the only one left of his friends whos still here. that part of him tells him that he has to live for them

complicated complicated feelings. maybe another part of him hangs on because nya is still here. sorta. a tiny part of jay thinks maybe he could save her at least. that part of him is crushed tho. because he really cant. he has no way. he has no wishes and no powers. utterly hopeless

he has to watch "nya" dance with nadakhan. like the two are on their honeymoon. he has to watch nadakhan take nya all for himself. like a precious prize. in his hand like a trophy. it hurts most when she decides to play with jay herself tho, when she toys with his heart. when she hurts him herself.

theres no good way this can end. theres so many ways that this can end. each and every one is as miserable and hopeless as the last. jay has no hope of happiness whatsoever.

jay may not necessarily die soon. but chances are he will die on that ship. eventually.... someone or something will kill him one way or another. but you dont get to know how or what. theres no good way to go though.

man this is the most depressing thing ive ever written lol. jay would be so depressed lmao.......... i did say this would be the most miserable fic. theres something fun about entertaining this bad end tho...... like everything sucks.... but vibes.... love misery.

[youngpettyqueen]

1, 5, 17! 💜💜💜

ty Ally!! <3

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

generally I prefer to write one shots when it comes to fic! one shots can be so varied in terms of length and what they convey- you can do a scene, a whole story, 1k, 10k, I find the freedom of one shots really appealing. ive only ever written I think two multi-chapter fics, and while I do enjoy writing them, they are limited to being longer-form stories and theyre definitely more of a commitment to yourself and to your reading audience with having to update multiple chapters. its why I havent written another multi-chapter fic since 'and miles to go before i sleep'- I love that fic, I loved writing it, but if im going to write a multi-chapter fic it needs to be a story I really, really want to write and be able to hold my motivation so that I can keep writing it for however long it takes. a one shot can take me months to complete and thats fine cause nobody sees it till its done. if a multi-chapter fic takes me months I might be leaving people hanging, which I never want

(I dont think there's anything wrong with that, to be clear, making people wait- we write and provide this stuff for free and we can take as long as we want, I personally just struggle with some guilt over it because I cant help it lgdkjghd)

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

I dont mind it! I dont seek it out with fic, really, but I actively seek it out with my original writing. if I ever wanted constructive criticism on fic I would ask about it from people I know better within fic communities and fandoms, because I would know and trust that they'd be able to give me actual solid advice. I really dont feel the need for it, though, and thats not like. out of arrogance or anything. I dont think im above it. its just that fic is something I do for fun!

with my original writing I actively seek out constructive criticism and feedback. I think its essential to the process and I eat it up. something im excited for with the novel im working on is getting to send it to a literary agent, to editors, to sensitivity readers all so I can get that constructive criticism and that feedback on it

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

I usually try to force my way through it while chanting "its a rough draft it doesnt need to be good its a rough draft it doesnt need to be good its a-" until I can get something down that can be edited later. when this doesnt work, I turn away from the project im currently working on and I go to something else

one such example is when I had really bad block while writing 'and miles to go before i sleep' I turned to writing a few other one shots so that I could get the words flowing again. im a firm believer in writing every day, even if its just a few words, so working on other things really really helps me work through a block and not get stuck for months on end. im currently working through other WIPs while a specific one gives me a lot of trouble, and taking prompt requests the other day has really helped me get back on my groove! im working through the last request now which is a combo of the request itself and an older WIP I'd been struggling with, and its been nice to post writing again

[guessknee]

about me !

aka me nerding out about things i like

Video Games !

the aesthetics, soundtracks, art, landscapes, everything about video games i love. i love playing jrpgs, visual novels and rhythm games. i love watching streams of all types of games though!

currently into watching apex legends, league of legends, valorant, csgo (on occasion), breath of the wild, and some older jrpgs.

i have a goal of beating one major game a month! i love playing games but i often buy too many at once and then play one while forgetting about the others. i dont know if anyone else has that problem so i made a system (gonna get really nerdy for a second) where i track video game releases im interested in for each of my consoles and i pick one game from each month to play and hopefully beat and one game to buy a collectors edition for (if available).

recently completed games

dec-feb

god of war ragnarok

crisis core reunion

one piece odyssey (almost complete 80% of the way done)

games im excited to play soon

the persona ports (jan release)

fire emblem engage (jan release)

octopath traveler 2 (feb release) - collectors edition preorder!

theatrhythm final bar (feb release)

kirbys return to dreamland (feb release)

story of seasons (jan release)

mobile games im playing

twisted wonderland

ensemble stars

genshin impact (on and off)

consoles i own (i have a weird thing with clue consoles and handhelds - i never realized i always bought blue ones till a about a year ago maybe its because i loved sonic as a kid...)

ps5

ps4

ps2

switch (animal crossing)

psp (light blue)

ps vita (light blue/white)

wii (i never use it)

ds

2ds (blue)

dsi (light blue)

Anime / Manga !

i love anime and manga. ive grown up with it ever since i was around 5. i would stay up on saturday nights till 7 am when inuyasha would start playing on adult swim. if i was ever too tired i would record the episode on our dvr and would watch it after getting home from kindergarten. crazy age to watch inuyasha but i always found it so cool.

also grew up on naruto. i am such a naruto nerd i have rewatched the og and shippuden so many times i can tell people which episode events happened, i can sing the openings in order, i can name most characters, etc. the naruto brainrot is bad. same thing with bleach and dragonball z. the new bleach has me so hyped i loved watching every episode made me want to rewatch the main series but i have no time so i just watch small clips here and there.

i love just about every genre of anime tbh. sports animes (baki, hajime no ippo, kengan asura, one outs, eyeshield 21, etc). idol animes (idolish 7, tsukiuta, tsukipro, etc). shounen, mystery, shoujo, literally everything. i have to be in a certain mood to watch mech animes but whenever one comes out that catches my eye i put all my energy into watching it. i think the only genre i dont enjoy much is isekai, i used to like them but new ones come out too often i cant keep up.

currently watching

one piece (caught up)

blue lock

buddy daddies

monster

vinland saga s2

trigun stampede

yowapeda limit break

tokyo revengers s2

Cars !

my day to day guilty pleasure is cars. i love cars. they are cool, go fast, go stutututu, whine, be loud, have cool lights, i love everything about a good car.

i have a brz! bought it myself and it is my pride adn joy. it is one of my favorite cars and when i bought it in november i literally cried. I drive manual and its so fun to me! i want to learn how to drift but im a bit nervous because i dont want to accidentally mess up anything in my car.

Reading !

i love books i love reading. i love fiction, sci-fi, philosophy, nonfiction, fanfiction, everything. I was never into books like harry potter and anything with too many magical elements in them but always loved horror and more mystery thriller books.

i have been dying to buy more physical books to add to my mini library in my room but theres a few books on my backlog i need to complete before i do that.

i also have a slowly growing manga collection that i desperately need to add to.

i read all day all night on my phone but the feeling of flipping real pages is so satisfying and having the weight of a book in my bag is just so nice.

Music !

not to toot my own horn but my spotify wrapped minutes is always 140k+. i listen to music all day everyday. while doing homework, reading, driving, working, in class (pay attention dont be like me), watching stuff it doesnt matter. i have a terrible habit of getting bored of something very easily so i always multitask and need 20 things happening at the same time so music is amazing at keeping me focused.

i love 'underground archive', rnb, krnb, jpop, citypop, lofi, rap, edm, literally a whole lot of stuff. i dont like pop that much ive grown to realize same with country, i can listen to it but only if someone else wants to.

thats it! literally my whole being in a post.

[hoodiewithhorns]

━ using your safe word scenarios ★

characters : hajime iwaizumi, tetsuro kuroo, keiji akaashi.

there will be a part 2 & 3 coming soon!

edit : p.2 is out <3

m.sterlist + requests box

▲ cw : not proof read, angst, use of safeword, “red” used as the safeword, clit spanking, mean!doms, hurt/comfort, established relationship, forced orgasm, jealousy, oral m! receiving, facefucking, foreplay f! receiving, degradation, slight punishment if you squint, aftercare/reassurance , all characters are 18+, MDNI ▼

Kuroo

- you weren’t necessarily in a good mood to be fucked roughly by him

- you just wanted some soft passionate sex with kuroo

- You assumed he’d figure out what you wanted due to him knowing you better than yourself.

- But you were wrong..very wrong.

-Not wanting to disappoint your boyfriend you played along.

- biggest mistake.

〜 ☆

you bobbed your head on his cock while he groaned at the slow pace. you were taking your time today since you weren’t in the best mood to be shoving him down your throat. you thought he take this as a sign of you wanting things slow soft and sweet, instead he took this as a sign of you being bratty, a brat who deserves punishment in his eyes.

“you little brat.” he forcefully shoved his cock down your throat. You gagged in response feeling your eyes become glossy, tears promising to spill at any given minute, looking up at him with pleading eyes hoping he’d show some form of mercy. but of course, he didn’t. tightening the grip on your hair he moved you back and forth on his cock causing you to gag and your breathing becoming heavy.

you heart ached in your chest as you tried to push him off, but to no avail. a dark chuckle leaving his throat as he watched you struggle, a sight he would commonly enjoy. “such a bad girl today huh? maybe i should go find another goodgirl. one that’ll actually listen.” you tried to shake your head as fat tears streamed down your face, the thought of him replacing you being one your biggest fears. did he mean that? just cause you weren’t in a good mood he was gonna replace you? you thought to yourself noticing the grip he had on you loosened a little. you could move away now and so you did. pulling away from his cock trying to catch your breath only causing him to get angrier. “why are you being so bad today? why cant you be a goodgirl and-“

“Red!” you choked out a sob as more tears fell from your face staining the bed sheets beneath you. sitting up, your palms resting on your thighs as you sobbed. the room went silent with the only sound present being your soft cries alongside with your occasional sniffles. confused he lifted your chin up, you pathetically looked up at him like a helpless little puppy. he finally understood what was wrong, mumbling a few curses as he got closer to you, sitting you on his lap as you cried into his chest.

“easy now baby. i’m so sorry...” he whispered thanking whatever was above that he hadn’t lost you, feeling horrible for not picking up the obvious signs you weren’t in the mood for any of this.

“d-do you really wanna l-leave me?” your voice was hoarse from one getting your throat fucked and two crying. hugging you tighter and feeling nothing but regret. each cry you let out tugged at his heartstrings. he never wanted this how could he have been so blind? you were his little baby he wanted to protect every chance he got. now you were here. sobbing into his chest all because he didn’t realize you weren’t in the right mood today. 

“never prettygirl. i’d be devastated without you in my life... I didn’t mean that I promise.” he pulled you away from his chest to face you. kissing the few tears you had left on you. even with tears pampered all over your face, to him you still managed to be pretty. even if it hurt him since he was the reason for all this, you could tell he was on the brink of tears too. he couldn’t imagine a life without you without his precious girlfriend in his life he’d be a train wreck.

“i-i...i just wanted us to go nice and gentle tonight..i didn’t have a good day today..but i didn’t want you to be mad since you like it when its rough so..”

he let out a chuckle at your last sentence causing you to look at him in confusion. “yeah being rough is nice and all but its only nice when you’re in the right mindset for it. you should’ve told me you weren’t feeling it tonight baby. If you wanna get fucked nice and gently by me you should’ve just said so my love.” he says planting a kiss on your forehead.

you smiled, reverting back to your previously cheery self making kuroo more than happy. he rested his head on top your shoulder “if you want, we can try again baby. this time i’ll give it to you nice and sweet..you’d like that wouldn’t you my pretty baby?” he whispers into your ear planting kisses down your neck as you let out a whimper feeling him smirk against your neck.

“mm-mhm please tetsu...”

he wastes no time wrapping his arms around your waist as your cunt feels him hardening again. “whatever my baby wants who am i to deny?”

akaashi

- the thought of using your safeword never occurred to you when you were with akaashi

- in fact he suggested it just in case things took a turn you didn’t like

- tonight was different though you were his innocent girlfriend who just wanted to treat him the way he treats you so lovingly

- wearing nothing but his shirt accompanied by a cute pair of panties feeling confident about your plan to please your boyfriend.

- though it doesn’t go according to plan,

you saw him sitting on the bed reading a novel still in his formal clothing. You were feeling particularly needy tonight learning a few new things you read from the internet a week ago on how to please your boyfriend sexually. you did however feel a bundle of nerves fill you up, but you just assumed it was because this was something you’ve never done before to anyone.

akaashi was not only your first, but he was your first boyfriend your first everything when it came to romance. now, putting all your insecurities aside, you were going to try out what you learned tonight on your beloved boyfriend!

 walking towards him, you crawled on top of his lap, arms wrapped around his neck to pull him in for a sweet kiss. he smirked setting his book down on the nightstand while taking his glasses off as well.

“Can I help you pretty girl?” he questioned placing his hands on your hips. “oh nothing...i just want you tonight..is that okay?” you asked, your innocent voice making akaashi smile. you were just so cute and pure in his eyes. you jump in excitement ready to initiate your plan to please your boyfriend. you started kissing him slowly yet passionately, grinding your wet cunt against his slowly hardening cock through his pants.

he opened his eyes to clearly understand what you were doing. to his shock what he assumed was correct. His innocent girlfriend who had no knowledge on how to please her boyfriend grinding up against him. maybe you were just being extra needy? he told himself. not longer after he snapped back to reality as he felt you pull away from him only to kiss down his jaw leaving a trail of soft kisses.

His cheeks becoming red as your soft lips traced down to unbutton his shirt. “so handsome..” You said kissing his chest as you went down to his abdomen. he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this, but.... Your not gonna do what he thinks you are right?? his own girlfriend who was too shy who cried at the first attempt to sucking him off?? no he must be getting ahead of himself.

looking down once more to check up on you, he finds you unbuckling his pants letting his cock spring free. his mouth agape seeing your head already lick his precum nice and clean, pumping him a few times to get all his precum out. he shudders as your wet tongue touches his cock, giving him kitten licks here and there. taking a deep breath, shoving him down your throat all in one go, a small gag escaping from you, squeezing your eyes tightly trying your best not to cry.

humming, you bobbing back and forth making him grunt at the waves of pleasure you were giving him. Still, he felt uneasy. who taught you this?? he was always the one guiding you, teaching you how to do things yet here you were sucking him down your pretty little throat. head thrown back his groans mixed with his thoughts, he kept overthinking the reasons as to how you picked up on this.

did Bokuto teach you?? you two always got along so well..sometimes leaving akaashi to third wheel, but why was he thinking about that now??

 “shit..” he grunted as he felt his high approaching. He tried to pull your head back so he wouldn’t end up cumming in your mouth, but you stayed on his cock till he came.

smiling at him, you licked your lips, swallowing his cum. leaving him surprised at everything you’ve just done. you’ve never did any of this nor tried to. It hurt the first time you tried to give him head now here you are taking him down your throat? He couldn’t believe it.

he wanted to get to the bottomed of this quickly.

“dirty girl.” he spits out flipping you to the other side of the bed, pushing your head down to the pillow putting your ass up with your cunt in full display for him. you winced at the sudden aggressive force.

“who taught you all those things you little slut?”hooking his finger onto your soaked panties to push them aside, he shoved two fingers deep inside of your dripping hole making you whimper at the painful stretch, not giving you enough time to adjust as he pumped into you.

“k-keiji w-wait!!” you whined screwing your eyes shut to fight back your tears, while he started pumping his fingers at an inhuman pace, he hovered over you, your back to his chest while his head rested on your shoulder.

“i asked you a question, so I expect an answer.” his voice was cold and stern without a sound of love or worry. the stretch of his fingers were painful especially with how he was practically scissoring you open. your eyes rolled at to the back of your head feeling your climax approaching, but it hurt so much you weren’t used to such a rough pace.

akaashi always took his time with you. Going slow and easy, praising you, calling you his angel or goodgirl for taking him in so well. but now he was none of these things.this felt like a completely different person to what you were use to.

“mm’ n-no one! keiji- p-please s-slow down it hurts!!” you sobbed only making him click his tongue at you, your heart sank feeling foggy and uneasy.“you probably like that it hurts huh? you’re dripping around my fingers you filthy slut.” he never used a tone as harsh as this before. never calling you names or degrading you in general. the pain in your chest overlapping the pleasure as more tears fall.

“n-no not a s-slut!! p-please stop! it hurts please keiji please-“ you begged feeling your stomach tighten as he kept fingering you till you screamed, squirting all over the bed sheets. “dirty slut.” He pulled out abruptly from you causing you to choke out another sob. your body trembling at this point as you pant out in desperation to form words scared of what he might do next. “N-no more please I’ll be good i p-promise just please..” you begged him once again, hoping he’d notice the pain you were in...he didn’t.

“no. sluts like you don’t get to make decisions like that.” He was about to pull your shirt off until you screamed and kicked  “red! red! r-red!!” he moved away only to watch you curl in on yourself, hugging your knees for comfort, refusing to look him in the eyes. “baby..?” he said softly trying to move you to face him to his horror you flinched shrinking in on yourself.

“keiji... why were you s-so...mean to me i only wanted to make you feel good..you always make me feel good so why did you..” immediately, he scooped you into his arms rocking you back and forth as if you were a toddler. you cuddled up against his chest as he felt your tears fall on his chest.he didn’t mind of course. “shh its okay..its okay..” the voice he commonly spoke to you coming back, soft, reassuring, just how you liked it.

“baby..im sorry i.. I didn’t mean to be so mean..i just got scared you were maybe..well someone might’ve been teaching you these things..” you froze pulling away to look at him.

“w-what? I didn’t learn that from anyone..id never let anyone teach me or touch me but you keiji! i just..read some stuff about it online...and I wanted to test it out..” you admitted through sniffles still rubbing your tears away. He sighed as he hugged you again running his fingers through your hair. 

all you wanted was to please your boyfriend from just that, his heart skipped a beat at how sweet you were being, but the feeling was overshadowed by  feeling so stupid for letting his insecurities take the best of him.

“I’m sorry baby.. I promise to never speak to you like that ever again..you’re my sweet girl and I love you so so much.. you were just trying to do something nice for me..thank you i appreciate it my love..it felt really nice you did good.” He cupped your face in his hands, peppering soft kisses around your face.

he smiled as you giggled at the ticklish feeling, sighing in relief.

“ i love you, my sweetgirl. ”

Iwaizumi

- he got home pissed off since he saw you chatting and giggling with mattsun. 

- he needed to blow off some steam

- he didn’t mean to be so mean he really didn’t

-he was usually a soft dom but today..he was everything but soft to you.

“ filthy fucking whore. what were you doing talking to mattsun huh?” his thrusts were sharp, painful, not being prepped well enough by him making the stretch of his cock burn through your gummy walls. feeling the air in your lungs start to leave you slowly as tears streamed down your face at iwaizumis cold , heartless, tone. there was not a single trace of him, not a sign of his love. you weren't trying to make him jealous, you just spend sometime to get to know mattsun just a little more since he was friends with your boyfriend never expecting him to react like this. 

snapping back to your current situation, you arched your back letting out a loud cry as he slapped your puffy clit. “didn’t i ask you a fucking question? or did your dumb slutty brain already get fucked out of you huh?” he wrapped his hands around your throat thrusting harder and deeper in you. 

his tip painfully hitting your cervix with each thrust making you cry at the pain. you tried pushing him off with the little strength you had in you, sobbing out an apology making him roll his eyes. 

“tch, what? you think a little apology is gonna change the fact you were all “buddy buddy” with mattsun? did you forget who fucking owns you little slut?” landing another harsh slap at your clit causing you cry in discomfort. everything around you made you feel light as if you were gonna pass out from the cruel words iwaizumi spoke to you. feeling helpless as there was no sign of your once loving boyfriend. 

“maybe i should’ve invited him over, let him have a turn at ruining your slutty little cunt.”

Finally, having enough you cried out “r-red..” it was soft, gentle, easily could’ve been unheard if it wasn’t for how closely iwaizumi payed attention to you. he halted his thrusts pulling out of you completely, eyes draining of all lust and jealousy converting to concern mixed with regret. he rushed to put back his boxers on, cuddling you against his chest. 

you didn’t push him away, no you could never. he was the man you loved and treasured more than anything. you were hurt obviously, but still wanted to seek his comfort.

“i-i dont like m-mattsun haji..i only like you..only you..” your voice sounding broken. he let out a deep sigh pulling you closer to kiss your head. 

“i know baby i know... i was just jealous..you get along so well with mattsun i..went too far on you..i’m sorry you didn’t deserve that baby” his voice sounding faint but full of comfort.

“i just wanted to get t-to know him...i didn’t mean to make you mad haji..”

“i know baby shhh its okay now..i’m not mad anymore.”he cooed kissing you softly. you nodded letting your last set of tears fall onto his chest. 

slowly shutting your eyes and falling asleep in the warmth of his chest.

him on the other hand was completely mortified at your sobbing accompanied with your sniffles it echoed through his ears replaying like a broken record each time the memory got to you saying your safeword. 

“r-red..”

he never thought he’d reach that point for you to have to tell him that. he let out a few tears that night hating himself for hurting you. you forgave that very second he apologized but him on the other hand? he didn't..no he couldn’t.

let’s just say, he didn't get much sleep that weekend. 

akaashis is long asf (im sorry i just love him sm) and iwaiuzmis is short but i love these boys sm.  

i still am taking requests all links are above and down here. remember to drink water. oh and heres the m.sterlist  in case you missed it <3♡

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Male monster x Male Reader Part 2

Okay took some time but here are the headcanons for the shadow wraith x reader I had been asked for here's part one in case you haven't read it

When I woke up my mind was still in a haze I couldn't remember when I fell asleep or anything but the warmth I felt wrapped around made it easy to want to fall back into blissful sleep. It was only a few moments after that I realized what was wrong, along with the warmth that seemed to cover me I felt cold breaths on my neck and bone-like hands gripping my waist that forced me to remember what happened. The night before came rushing back the monster that showed itself to me and the sight of something both scary yet beautiful kept me frozen in fear and now here I am wrapped tight in its arms and feeling almost safe. When my eyes finally adjust to the dim lighting I take a look around to my surprise what's around me isn't bad a large mostly clean cave were laying on animal skins and the fire near us has gone out already but what catches my eye is the pile of skulls near the entrance at first I wanted to think nothing of it I'm mean its clear this thing hunts animals but then I saw it a human skull. My heart was gripped tight in icy hands my body tensed and it was then I thought of just how bad this situation is before I could really think it through I tried to yank my body away from it scrambling to get away and run to the safety of the trail. I didn't even make a few feet before a loud mix between a growl and wail rang out through the cave and echoing in the forest, my knees buckle but before I drop a pair of shadowy tendrils pull me back into a skeletal body.

It held me as close as possible nuzzling into my neck teeth pressed to the skin with no lips to be found long claws pointed to press slightly in my waist. I tensed holding my breath in hopes it would let me be " you....are..safe" its voice seemed so loud I knew it was dangerous but I felt like I should trust it If it wanted me dead it would just kill me after all. We stayed like that for a while I saw the sun begin to rise to its high point and it was then the voices came, Steven and Marie calling out for me somewhere in the forest. The creature seemed to not like it growling and tightening its hold on me and moving further back into the cave "wait wait WAIT hold on you cant keep me here" The creature tilted it head more of the like ooze substance dipping down its body and onto me. " I wont stay here I have a life to live!" That seemed to get through to it a whine escaping its throat as it loosened its hold on me, nuzzling its face once more into my neck before letting me go its hulking body pressing to the other side of the cave simply watching as I left. When I met up with the others I told them I just went for a walk that morning they laughed it off and we headed back to the village. I edited the photos I got and sent them off it wasn't long before my client contacted me saying they looked great and with that my job was done I could leave but...I didn't want to. I still has a few days left before my flight back so I went with Steven once more to the base of the mountain bags heavy with the things I would need to stay out for the last few day and that was how I came to know a monster named Zishe.

Dating Zishe

It takes a months to learn to really understand each other and even long to date but once you reach that point its a pretty good relationship

He's not very good at talking but he is learning even still most of his feeling or thought can be guessed based on his actions

Though he try's to learn more about human ways now that he's living with you the fact is his mannerism will stay the same

As a wraith whos been alive for such a long time and being a creature that can take any form, gender has never matter and thus you being male will not change how he treats you

Keeps you covered in his sent humans might not be able to tell but it makes him feel at ease knowing other supernatural's will leave you alone

Marking you is also something he enjoys since he cant bond you to him yet this is a place holder

Though his body is cold the shadows that wrap around him are warm and he enjoys when you two cuddle

You named him Zishe when you asked him his name the only thing you could make out was that it started with a Z

When you called him that as nickname to make it easy on yourself he was so happy low throaty purr like sounds spilling from him

If he could Zishe would be on you 24/7 its in his instinct to want to be around you and make sure you're safe plus he thinks your just the best

Truly loves your scent its strong but not overbearing and the undertone of earthy and smokiness is blissful

If you have a gravely voice not matter if its just a morning voice or all day Zishe will be far more docile when he hears it

Will hunt for you if you want him to Zishe is very good at

Enjoys giving you the bones he gets form said hunting all clean and nice for you

Doesn't like other people much but will tolerate them for you

Tell him you love him often and kiss him even though he has no lips it sends him over the moon and he does his best to give back all the love

OMG IT'S DONE!!! I'm so so sorry this took so long I had no idea what to write till the headcanons so it feels rushed but I hope you still enjoyed and thank you for reading. I will now be working on part 4 of my Loki fic so yay!- Lilly

[just-a-fangirl13]

What is happening in 5x03??

I’m not going to pretend I have any idea whats going on here but I have a THEORY! (Can you tell I want to be a theoretical astrophysicist?)

I might be going straight up CRAZY but here we are......

[possible spoilers for 5x03 (I seriously doubt im right but I really do hope this is whats happening here)]

My theory is the whole thing is a dream sequence. Not just the MacRiley moment but the WHOLE EPISODE and its all in Mac’s head....Stick with me here.

Firstly here are the promos incase you missed them.

1. MacRiley scene

2. Mac, Desi, Bozer and Riley at Mac's place

3. Team Phoenix on the mission.

My first reaction on seeing the MacRiley snippet...THIS IS A DREAM..right?! If you look closely the way its been edited with the rainbow-glare shining in and out makes it seem magical and almost surreal.

So the question is WHO THE HELL IS DREAMING? Again my first thought was Riley, because we know she has feelings for Mac but that little factoid about the moon and eclipses lasting for 7 minutes doesn't strike me as something Riley would know.(I am a space nerd and even I didn't know the size of the moon is 400 times smaller than the sun) Which makes me think its Mac’s dream. We’ll get back to this in a sec.

The second promo absolutely crushed my soul. Mac here is complaining about how Desi has time for Rlley but doesnt have time to go out on a date with him. UM WAT THE HECK?! WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?? Mac and Desi showed no ounce of interest in each other in episode 1 and 2 and now suddenly he wants to date her?

Also note here Bozer is encouraging Mac to ask Desi out *sort of*. He knows about RIley’s feelings. He would never in a million years talk Mac back into that relationship because he is his bestfriend and he saw the toll the whole Codex situation took on him.

[We didn't get a single Riley look either.. that would be possible only because Mac has no idea she has feelings]

Now the third promo is just the team going on the mission. Nothing too complex here (or is there????)

Okay so why do I think this WHOLE EPISODE IS A DREAM?

Well firstly, the very title of the episode has the word Eclipse in it. Why would they do that if it was only going to be a one minute scene? Eclipse has to have some sort of deeper relevance here. Sure you could just argue that they gave us a tiny snippet of the whole scene and again you could be right. Maybe they didn't want to give away too much?

But we know Mac and Riley are not undercover or on a mission. They seem to be having a catch up picnic thing that suddenly leads to a kiss (that totally got cut out before we could see it *cruel cruel world*) Like I said before the whole vibe of that scene seems dreamy. Also note Mac is doing most of the sharing here. Which does make me think its him dreaming, like an inner monologue but Riley’s there too.

Secondly, Mac complaining about Desi not spending enough time with him doesnt sound like him at alll. It would be something he has thought or just a weird dream thing.(Dreams can get weird and out of control too!)

Every single person in the Mac and Desi promo is behaving weirdly.

Thirdly, add Roman to all of this. There’s no way the dude survived. Its more likely he’s a part of Mac’s nightmare. A symbol of everything Codex took from him, coming back to wreck things.

Fourthly add the press release photos of Desi, Bozer and Russ to all this and things seem to be getting even more confusing. The photos would fit into a dream sequence though. Things cutting in and moving around without making sense.

So what’s the significance of the whole thing? Well what I think is happening here is Mac is conflicted and grieving all at the same time. The first part is him asking Desi out and you can see the awkwardness on both their faces which also reminds me of the first time he asked her out. Its almost as if he’s replaying the scene in his head. 

Bozer here might be a part of Mac’s consciousness‍ that wants him to fix things with Desi. I really do think theres a part of Mac that did love her at some point.

The significance of Russ being kidnapped might have something to do with their newly formed friendship. The two of them really seem like they are on the same page and Mac obviously cares about him.

The promo scenes with Russ have this weird blurry effect around them. It could just be to show Russ is confused so maybe I really am overthinking this.

We know Mac and Desi are forced to talk about their relationship. This might be Mac having a conversation with Desi in his own head. Maybe even him coming to realise that he and Desi are never going to work, that clinging to Desi and that sense of familiarity is bad for both of them. 

The second half of the dream or even the part before Mac just wakes up might be the part where he realises that he can have true peace with Riley, aka the picnic scene. (This could be in the beginning but if it really signifies what I think it might him waking up before the kiss would seem fitting)

[They have used the dreamworld before to show Mac coming to terms with not being able to save everyone and the loss of his mother...idk if they will do it again or not but they have done it once before]

An eclipse is supposed to represent growth and major change. Change of day into night. Him having feelings for Riley that have always been there but suddenly showing up might be the metaphor behind this whole episode.

As all us MacRIley fans have suspected before, Mac had feelings for Riley but he didn't deal with it. Kissing Riley in his dream sequence or almost doing it might be the trigger he needs. 

[SIDE NOTE: Some one tweeted that Lucas Till said this episode was going to blow our minds..I cant find the interview so I cant confirm this happened. He said what the writers are doing with this season blew his mind so take it with a grain of salt....]

THIS IS A VERY OPTIMISTIC THEORY AND I REALLY AM SORRY IF THINGS DONT WORK OUT THIS WAY BUT I REALLY HOPE I’M RIGHT!!

[vaporwave-trolls]

ok so to address the anons ive been getting here is kind of where it started,please don't reblog this and once again if you know who this is don't go after them,theyre are known for being shitty but i also dont want them swamped with hate either. i dont want drama i just want this to be over with i want them to just forget about me

so the first thing they are referring to is THIS post i made talking about things that bothered me with japanese troll and i was really heated when writting that post

they would always come to me to talk about other peoples trolls with japanese themes and wanted to constantly get trolls cancelled for having tat sort of influence which they would constantly label as appropriation which im saying right now it is not

now i got pretty sauced at this point as i have always been open with them about my struggles with being mixed and it effected me pretty bad growing up im Japanese Brazilian and took after my father but i grew up in japan so looking foreign in school was not great i got called a lot of stuff which led to me completly disowning the fact i was japanese till i was 17 pretty much becuse not looking japanese caused me a lot of grief

and heres where i was probably a little mean but let me explain. before this point i thought of this person as a friend cus it had been 2 years and they hadnt done anything truly bad so i had trusted them with some private information and this is when i found out during these 2 years this person had been already saying shit about me behind my back and telling people no to come to me for anything keep in mind we where friends during that.this person also had a history of taking my struggles and turning it into theirs. i lost my birth parents they're dead,i was fetishized at 15,i struggled with being mixed in a less then accepting country,my family disowned me for being mixed from my Brazilian dad and 9 out of 10 suddenly they had that problem to when never before did they mention it also they lied about a lot of little things to and constantly change theyre race. the small mention of my dad being brazillian and black then suddenly theyre parent was mixed black to??

im Japanese Brazilian i was adopted at 15ish by family friends who are Spanish which is why i live in Canada i have always been open about this and they knew that . also they say they where born in japan in a town that doesnt even have a maternity ward and they cant speak or understand any japanese in voice chat they never understood me if i said something in japanese and when it comes to them making sentences in my language theres always mistakes and its very poorly written and many times its just base level anime phrases. they also knew my biggest insecurity is my eyes which i have never edited (only my nose if im honest and i stopped doing that in 2017) this is me and this is also the picture they try to use to say i edit but neither of these are edited

also me liking anime and collecting it means im not japanese to them? i also havent been back to japan since 2016 17 ish and when i have gone after that is was only for a few days to take care of things . they constantly share pictures of me without permission and theyre pictures that have been deleted that they keep, they know i dont have much of my childhood pictures as they have literally seen me crying over how much stuff i left behind.they got to a point where the only time they would talk to me was to talk about japanese things i have never met somone so obsessed with Japanese culture who also claims to be Japanese but cant speak it,they never even cared about out friendship they just liked the fact i was japanese then went up on the defence when i said they where acting sus. they're selfish and childish

im just tired of dealing with them and anons, its been a year and a half and theyre still doing it its an obsession at this point that they wont let go of it. the thing that bothers me the most is that they are literally using my insecurities and struggles against me something i trusted them with

[sleepyboisinc]

soo,,, the secret au huh?

its a band au. its a fucking band au. im posting this super impulsively, and it has no editing i think so if there are any mistakes,,,, fuck it idc

also this ends in a sort of cliffhanger i was gonan write more but i got tired of writing and never got the motivation to again im sorry lul

this au isnt just by me, theres other ppl involved in it too!! mainly bad timezone gang in technohive but others also helped :)

anywaysyysyshdhsh yea read if u want to ig

wilbur soot was discovered by a record label when he was 15 after he wrote the squid song. they didn't care that the lyrics were objectively bad, it was wilbur’s voice that grabbed their attention. they interviewed him and decided that they were gonna give him a chance. wilbur, who had always dreamed of being a singer, jumped at the opportunity. the interview went very well. they even asked him to sing a few songs and he nailed it. however, he wasn’t perfect. he still needed some vocal training. they spent an entire day discussing and signing paperwork. the label ended up arranging for wilbur to attend music classes to enhance his voice and get better at the guitar.

time-skip about 3 years. wilbur is 18 and is phenomenal at singing and the guitar. he starts going to uni and meets his roommate, an american student named technoblade who plays the violin. wilbur and techno quickly become friends, bonding over music and other mutual interests like video games. techno plays mini gigs on the street and at bars close to campus to make some money for himself. particularly at a little bar called “the harpy’s nest”

one day, wilbur gets bored sitting at home alone, so he goes to watch techno’s gig. he arrives halfway through the set and watches for about 5 minutes. after the gig is over, he watches as techno interacts with the bartender, a young man only slightly older looking than the two of them. techno notices wilbur and calls him over, introducing him to the bartender, philza. the two immediately hit it off and by the end of the night, they’ve exchanged numbers and a promise to meet up phil’s next shift.

-

over the next few months, the trio became best friends. wilbur learns that phil plays the drums and has several eps. one ep in particular, “hardcore2” blew up a bit in their general area and phil gained a bit of traction as a musician. the three boys spend most of their time hanging out at wilbur and techno’s dorm, or at phil’s bar. they stay up till ungodly hours playing video games and talking. their other friends dub them the sleepy boys, because of how tired they all are the next day. 

however, as the months fly by, the date wilbur is supposed to finish training and write his first songs draws closer. he worries he’s bitten more than he can chew and he wonders if he’s even ready for fame. a month later he is assigned a manager, pete. pete says that his training contract has expired, meaning that he's ready to start writing his album. wilbur says that he needs to think a bit before he starts. pete was about to tell him he can’t have extra time to think because he signed a contract, but seeing the look of stress on wilbur’s face, he allows him 2 days before he starts. wilbur goes on a walk to think. he curses himself for second-guessing himself now. he realizes he doesn’t wanna do this alone. then he thinks of techno and phil. 

what if they formed a band? that way he wouldn’t have to do this alone. he’s sure that they'd love to make a band together as well. he goes to them and… they agree. he goes to pete and asks him if they can be a three-piece band. pete says he needs to ask his higher-ups first. wilbur doesn’t hear from pete for 4 days and starts to worry. what if they won’t allow it? it wasn't part of the agreement so they have every right to turn him down. at the end of the fourth day, pete calls him and says that the higher-ups have agreed. they had to choose a group name by the end of 2 days. the trio was over the moon.

this was the start of sleepy bois inc.

-

their record label wasn’t massive, so the boys took to playing on the streets and in bars to gain some traction. they slowly started gaining recognition and grew faster when they made a youtube channel. they released several eps and a few albums, and gained a following over the next few years.

their first big break came 3 years after the band was formed. they had a decent following, about 50k subs on youtube and slightly less on other platforms. one day, jschlatt from lunch club, a massive boy band, got their music recommended to him on youtube. he’s intrigued and listened to it, and was surprised at how much he liked it. he liked it so much, that he decided to shout them out on twitter. 

sleepybois inc’s popularity skyrocketed, and the members of both bands grew close. when lunch club announced their next tour, they revealed that sleepybois inc would open for them. the fans freak out, and many iconic moments and inside jokes form from this tour. 

-

tommy innit was 19 years old and was preparing to become a musician. he was almost done with the 4 years of vocal and keyboard training provided by a record label and had to make a decision: be a solo artist, or join a band. if he chose the band, he has another 2 options: be assigned into a band that already exists under this label or make a new one with people that he knows. 

tommy is also a massive fan of lunch club, and sees that jschlatt shouted out a band called sleepybois inc. he likes them a lot and becomes a fan of their stuff too. what tommy didn’t know is that they were at the same label he was training at and were open for a 4th member. 

back on the music, tommy ended up going with band. he debated between making a band or being assigned one. after a while, he ended up going with being assigned. he was nervous about this because he'd have to integrate himself into their dynamic and feared that fans won’t like him, but he figured it’d be easier than making his friends all learn instruments.

being assigned a band is a process, so tommy had a couple of months free. during this time, lunch club was on tour with sleepybois inc and tommy got vip tickets to a show. so he went to the meet and greet and gave his number to sleepybois inc saying ”hmu if u need a keyboardist lul” as a joke (this is a very important detail i will include it f u)

so come around the day of tommy getting assigned. he has to do auditions for the bands that the record label selected for him to join. management has narrowed it down to the youngest 2 bands at their label who are open for a member: one of which is sleepybois inc. 

-

it had been a month since tommy interviewed for sleepybois inc. he did pretty well at it, and had been talking to the boys a lot since then. he still hadn’t had news on whether he joined though. 

it was 3 am. tommy had been working on school work for hours and had only just managed to finish up for the night. he settled into bed and was about to fall asleep when his phone rang. not bothering to look at who was calling, tommy picked it up

“who the fuck is calling me at 3 in the morning i swear to god-” tommy whispered angrily. 

“tommy?” wilbur’s voice rang out “wait shit- this is probably a really bad time im sorry. but we have something important to tell you.”

tommy’s eyes widened. 

“we’ve decided that you can join the band”

-

the band and their label spent a few weeks discussing how they would go about this. they boys decided they would need a name change too, and ended up settling on the name ‘purple pandas’. however, a new member and a name change would practically transform the band completely, so they had to go about announcing this the right way.

they ended up settling on posting a youtube video titled ‘making some changes’. seeing the announcement for this sent fans into a frenzy, frantically tweeting about what it could be. many rumours spread fast and it even got into a few news articles. conspiracies started floating around about what changes could possibly be taking place.

-

i cant write this shit no more bye

[co27]

got tagged by @beanplague to discuss my opinions on women. i have shit memory disease so this is a list of Women I Enjoy in no particular order. theres only five because i have comically few interests that arent ocs anymore i think 10 is the general amount tho EDIT I INCLUDED ANOTHER CHARACTER

Penumbra - Ducktales. whats a phineas list without penumbra. she means the WORLD to me. its very obvious from the everything about me that i really dig “characters who use anger as a (bad) coping mechanism” and boy does she take the ticket. its also just. wow. shes lesbian huh. a canon lesbian interacted with Donald Fucking Duck Of Disney Fame huh. i could go on for hours but basically her character arc means everything to me and i think she should marry della

Della Duck - Ducktales Also. i couldve just put them in one together bc theyre same media but they deserve their own spots. i really adore how much life was breathed into this character whos just really never been given a spotlight before. i love how realistic everything about her is. adventure mom. 10/10 would let raise me

Meg - Hades. ill be honest i have not beat the game yet i have no idea how long it is till im done but meg.... oh meg. not only is she hot but wow shes got a lot going on huh? i really cant wait to learn more abt her and her history with zag... peel back her layers like an onion. thats not a euphemism i mean like in a finding out her issues way

Tome Kurata - Mob Psycho 100. i know everyones like “haha lol aliens girl” BUT BRO.. ALIENS GIRL!! not a lot of girls in media get to just kind of be. weird as all shit the same way male characters do. tomes just funny and weird and a gamer. shes just a good time to see onscreen

Sasha James - The Magnus Archives. AUAAUGHHH SASHA MY BELOVED. i get so fucking emo thinking about her. like she was just... a smart friendly charming lady, optimistic despite everything, struck by tragedy... even from a narrative standpoint the not sasha stuff is such a turning point in the series imo it just makes me so insane

Susie - Deltarune. what can i say i guess i love angry purple women who dislike the protagonist at first. the susie v lancer scene made me CRYYYY im so attached to her and her character arc. give susie friend.

i tag any of my mutuals who want to do this “aww haha he doesnt mean me” yes i do. do it /th

[rootiebaga]

nobody asked, i know, but heres my departments thus far! (with nicknames, of course)

note! i do use mods, one of them being the ultimate fashion corp mod from reddit, a mod that lets you keep your employees after you reset a run, and some other useful ones

also its under the cut because uh- long

control team! (aka the OGS! (because control team is the first department people unlock when starting a run))

morty (former employee)

-may the brave fool rest, gone, but not forgotten.

rootieee (captain)

-its, its my self insert what do i have to sa

paul

-the most boring in the facility (and the most sane one in the department,)

-just wants to do his job correctly.

-not much to say about him, really

maxim (morty’s replacement after he died, rest in piece morty, you were a brave hero, yet a little dumb after trying to fight a green dawn in the early runs i had)

-morty’s big bro, a little sad that morty died but he didn’t know all that much in the facility,

-takes his job too seriously

-usually chills in the main room alot,

shao

-an absolutely innocent baby, even if they some horrifying abnormalities, they would still think of them as cute

-just, likes being here, many friends for them!

-they also like hugs!

igoree (rip)

-the sleepy employee has come back! wowie

-still sleepy and also hungry,

-the one who doesn’t work all that much

-..”how did she.. die? did she just want to? what in the world happened there? is it because of that behaviour adjustment thing?”

“just forget about it and keep working,”

“but, paul im curious-”

“quiet.”

eden

-woooooo returning!

-one of the calmest people in the department

-probably wouldn’t even be phased by the effect [CENSORED] gives her if we had it

“hey uh, eden? i got something to tell you..”

“go on shao,”

“didn’t... something happen to you? h-how are you even-”

“hey hey, dont worry about that! just, make sure you stay safe, alright?”

information team! (aka the threeks! (named by tom, who is dead, an idiot, and couldn’t count))

tom (dead)

-an idiot

-okay moving on

ryn

-the only one with aleph gear, seriously (edit (draft edition): hes the first one with aleph gear after i got nothing there’s gear, the second being daniel)

-chill once you get to know him,

-likes protecting others with his gear, since, you know

mason

-usually anxious, he doesn’t mean to be though!

-”alright calm down.. never mind this is not the time to calm dOW-”

-probably likes ryn??

eugene

-a little bit crazy, yet kind nonetheless! 

-hi

-just wants some friends, unfortunately not many people are willing to befriend her due to her kinda crazy nature

-basically someone who cares for everyone in the facility, y e e

(also whats known as a “bow kinnie” to the control team captain) /j

emma

-looks really kind until you try to talk to her, shes an asshole is what im trying to say

-likes to bite things with the sharp teeth she has, because why not

-absolute chaos

ray

-i dont know why she exists, shes just there

safety team! (aka the wind wielders (named by isabel, cause he likes flutes))

isabel

-brother of gregory

-the second innocent bean,,

-likes playing the flute whenever hes done for the day

-i accidentally gave him crumbling armour’s gift

gregory

-brother of isabel

-prefers acting over playing instruments,

-a bit more serious,

neville (prefers nelville)

-an absolutely tired employee, they just like waiting till everyone is done for the day to go home

-they’d be at home if they weren’t forced by their friend to work here

-hates everything right now

ramirez

-the joyful friend

-wanted to work here because of the people here, so many unique faces!

-likes all things unique, she usually loves trying different things that look nothing alike from the things she tried before

khanna

-the mute employee in the facility, uses notes to communicate

-another sane one, yet still kinda nervous

-a bean

training team! (aka “nobody here is fine” (named for the fact that almost everyone is very nervous, and then we got firenze))

hana

-the one thats sad most of the time

-really helpful for when it comes to working on abnormalities!

-gregory has a crush on them (why would you say tha)

sobin

-before you think of him as edgy, hes not all that edgy personality wise, he just likes the aesthetic

-hes just a really chill and friendly dude

-yes, he can see more with the e.g.o outfit hes wearing, it is pretty strange to him though

firenze

-the narcissist, he really thinks hes the king of this department

-hes wrong its actually hana thats the captain of this department

-nobody likes him

daniel

-actually used to be a clerk! the face was a little different then before but hey, thats fine

-the third pure bean

-hes a really good friend to have!

susan

-what can i say about her?

-well i mean

-shes susan

central command team! (aka where is everyone? (due to there being not many agents here))

geminiano

-the most sane one in the facility (while being the dead inside captain)

-really good when it comes to tech

-”oh sh** did anyone check on mika?”

charlotte

-the bald employee, doesn’t mind being bald, that just means she can take care of the “your bald” abnormality

-”ignore the second mouth i got on my armour, please”

-plays vibe games on roblox

mika

-absolutely. chill

-doesn’t know where he’s going most of the time

-the one that works on child of galaxy everytime

gimtteol

-really bad sight, she doesn’t mind it

-kalm

-nobody can spell her name right

arang (prefers ayang)

-you thought sobin was the edgelord huh? think again

-easily annoyed.

-also was a clerk before

john

-the newbie!

-hes trying okay?

-hes still a little nervous but thats fine!

disciplinary team! (aka f**k (also nicknamed “why do we have red” due to me choosing little red riding hooded mercenary every run where theres disciplinary))

ara

-angy

-another person that takes their job way too seriously but doesn’t mean to

-not really that rude sometimes, but most of the time she can be a bit of an asshole, probably because of something that happened in the past, nobody wants to talk about it though

-lesbian

camille

-has a slightly torn snake tongue, it makes them not able to speak, they mostly make noises like growling,

-nobody knows why their like this, they just are, but dont be afraid to talk to them if you need anything! they usually write what their trying to say

-the expert, especially at finding things, even if they cant speak

tim

-another returning employee! wooooo

-still dead inside, but feeling a little bit better!

-might be the oldest out of everyone

welfare team! (aka “sleep tight” (nobody knows why its called that)

space

-very calm, most of the time doesn’t mind anything, but still does get a little nervous at times

-nobody knows why her eyes are always closed, (ara specified that her eyes look like a galaxy that can only be opened for a couple of seconds because if she opens them for more than a few seconds they’ll start to glitch, when others see it happening, it looks like the galaxy is becoming more like an image other than a real galaxy, parts of the galaxy become misplaced and reverted back to their original place quickly repeatedly (kinda like the select thing in paint, usually in the shape of the rectangular selection though) and parts of the galaxy turn into static and back very quickly and repeatedly. we she sees it happening her vision becomes the same as how other people see the galaxy when it starts glitching, randomly shifting from original place to different place, or from static back to normal, some ominous, glitchy sounds have been heard when this is happening aswell, (i thought of this because of a small dream(?) i had when i was in a certain state of almost about to fall asleep, maybe i was napping i dont really know, it was a strange dream, i dont remember much of it which is expected, i think it was something about discord and some sort of strange thing that had a little timer on it, and after it was done the thing it was in started glitching, the background it was in and even the button that used to be the timer was glitching, i heard some sounds that were glitching a little (it looked like those screens you see when someone’s streaming something on there,) and then i woke up, yeah kinda weird,)

-like eugene, cares for everyone! especially ara, since space herself is the one who helps ara through tough times

courtney

-gets bored alot, just wants to work on the difficult abnormalities

-really snarky

johnson

-a smartass

-yet still a little friendly if they trust you

-i’ll upgrade them soon dont worry (i have upgraded them/him dont worry)

,

woop!

i’ll probably update this soon, but in the meantime have this, sorry for being dead lately, on both this and my sideblog

[ap-sadistics]

I posted 5,867 times in 2022

That's 1,694 more posts than 2021!

86 posts created (1%)

5,781 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ rotten-dan

@ obstinaterixatrix

@ thetrashiestoftrash

@ ehnrat

@ modmad

I tagged 2,100 of my posts in 2022

#ninjago - 200 posts

#monkie kid - 170 posts

#jem's miscellany - 101 posts

#jay~ - 97 posts

#birds - 79 posts

#pokemon - 75 posts

#fav - 68 posts

#mk~ - 55 posts

#me - 40 posts

#kai~ - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#yes yesyesyeyseyseysyeyseysyeyesyseyyseyesyyseysey yeyse yessss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

im so sick, evil, and twisted i think i got 9 people to watch monkie kid both directly and indirectly 9 victims im so fucked up and crazy im literally insane

11 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#4

skybound bad end au thoughts

this is more or less copy pasted from twitter. edited slightly

warning for mentions/thoughts of suicide

this is EXTREMELY depressing you have been warned

-

ive been thinking about it. as a fic, in written form, i think there really wouldnt be much of a story. it Is the "end" after all. it would be mostly a snapshot of jays life after the events. and it would also be the most miserable fic in the tag. like. it would be. pure misery. supremely depressing and without even an ounce of hope.

at that point everything thats done to him is just punishment or an act of senseless sadism. depends on the perspective. jay would see as punishment for the things hes done. just karma.

in this bad end au, i think jay would just be a toy. a little plaything for nadakhan and his crew. and delara. he doesnt have much purpose now but why not just keep him as entertainment. until the doll breaks. if he hasnt already. they can just throw him away then

i think it would be best if it has a open ending......... this bad end has the potential to go REALLY dark. but like too much doesnt taste that good you know? like... easily it could go the suicidal route. or jay being literally broken to the point hes killed. too dark you know? 

but like..... i like there to be some hints of possible paths to jays ultimate fate.... its ambiguous but the setup is there.... the beginning signs... like...

jay becoming ill. sick from who knows what thing that has been done to him. an infection? exhaustion and overwork? its not much but its small things like that. a persistent cough or headache. the flush of a fever. his physical health is down the gutter

jay wishing things would end. entertaining a distant thought while he looks over a ledge miles above water. waving the idea away but the feeling of it doesnt truly leave.

maybe hes denying himself of that escape on purpose. that he doesnt deserve a reprieve. hes got a massive guilt complex that pins him there, on that ship, suffering because he knows he deserves it. a part of him is a coward still too. hes scared of taking the leap of the ledge.

the things jay feels are so complicated. he wants to die, hes scared of dying, he doesnt deserve to live but he doesnt deserve to die. he deserves to suffer. he trapped until someone else takes him out of his misery. but no one will.

its much more fun forcing him to dance till he falls apart. hes going to at this rate. a part of him wants to. but another part tells him that he shouldnt. hes the only one left of his friends whos still here. that part of him tells him that he has to live for them

complicated complicated feelings. maybe another part of him hangs on because nya is still here. sorta. a tiny part of jay thinks maybe he could save her at least. that part of him is crushed tho. because he really cant. he has no way. he has no wishes and no powers. utterly hopeless

he has to watch "nya" dance with nadakhan. like the two are on their honeymoon. he has to watch nadakhan take nya all for himself. like a precious prize. in his hand like a trophy. it hurts most when she decides to play with jay herself tho, when she toys with his heart. when she hurts him herself.

theres no good way this can end. theres so many ways that this can end. each and every one is as miserable and hopeless as the last. jay has no hope of happiness whatsoever.

jay may not necessarily die soon. but chances are he will die on that ship. eventually.... someone or something will kill him one way or another. but you dont get to know how or what. theres no good way to go though.

man this is the most depressing thing ive ever written lol. jay would be so depressed lmao.......... i did say this would be the most miserable fic. theres something fun about entertaining this bad end tho...... like everything sucks.... but vibes.... love misery.

21 notes - Posted December 22, 2022

#3

WATCH LEGO MONKIE KID.

WATCH LEGO MONKIE KID.

WATCH LEGO MONKIE KID.

43 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#2

i had to make this gif. on the spur of the moment. at 4am. like i was possessed. artistically this is my favorite fucking part of this ep. THIS COLOR SHIFT............ MAKES ME FUCKING LOSE MY MIND........... ALSO IM THINKING ABOUT JACKET SYMBOLISM AGAIN....... I HAVENT TALKED ABOUT IT HERE SO IM JUST GONNA TALK ABOUT IT NOW

BIG FUCKING SPOILERS HERE IF THIS GIF WASNT ALREADY SPOILERS ENOUGH. DONT READ IT YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW.

some time back i started thinking about the emotional significance/symbolism of mks fucking jacket. this jacket specifically.... was given to him by mei........................... it was her gift to him....... its his new look in s3... but it ended up burning the same way as mei did......... MEIS JACKET WAS LOST LIKE SHE WAS................ it burned as mk tried to save her..... she continues to burn in order to save him.... ough.......... fuck i might be reading into this too much BUT. THERES AN ATTACHMENT THERE........ its symbolic...... THIS JACKET REPRESENTS OF BOTH THIS SEASON AND MEI. AND HER FRIENDSHIP WITH MK....... IT HAS GREEN!!!!!!!! HER COLOR!!!!!!!!!! AND RIGHT HERE. IN THIS MOMENT. IN THIS GIF. IN THIS SCENE IN WHICH MEI HAS BEEN CONSUMED BY FLAMES, ENGULFED IN RED AND BLACK, LIKEWISE THE SAME FUCKING THING HAPPENS TO HIS JACKET..... THE GREEN IS GONE. SWALLOWED UP BY RED HEAT.. and by the end, its gone... and then so is mei..... this is such a gorgeous fucking transition of a scene and im absolutely obsessed with it............

ALSO THIS JACKET LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD I LOVE THIS ATTIRE SO MUCH BUT ITS ALREADY GONE AND IM SO FUCKING SAD ABOUT THAT BUT FUCK THE IMPACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT LEAST IT WENT OUT IN BLAZE.... ICONIC JACKET TRULY.........

and also actually... i extended these jacket symbolism thoughts to the previous seasons also and... didnt mk stop wearing his monkey king jacket...? yall, you know, in the same season that he didnt have his powers? in my personal opinion i felt like monkey king is much less of a mentor figure in s3...... that he has ever been. s1-s2 is all about mk being sun wukongs successor.. which matches the jacket.... Hes The Monkie Kid. and thats his identity. but s3 absolutely had more mei focus..... and that jacket had green but no monkey.... hey.......... fucking i could be talking out of my own ass but if i think of this as a theory also......  mk is wearing pigsys jacket now...... what if they do some dad relationship focus next season also..... of course i could be entirely wrong but MAN. i would love to see some jacket symbolism like this again... would love to see consistency with my analysis and be freaking validated by that..... WHO KNOWS IF IT WILL HAPPEN CONSIDERING THE STATE OF THINGS S3 HAS LEFT OFF ON.... THERES A LOT OF THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.... but yooooooo. i want dadsy. gimme that parental relationship with mk specifically. i want it....

anyways JACKET. IT CARRIES SOMETHING. IT POSSESSES A CERTAIN LINK TO MKS IDENTITY..... its a essential part of mks look. its iconic and its noticeable when it fucking changes. they literally had a magical girl sequence when mk changed his jacket in s3. they drew attention to it, they made a big deal out of it. so i like to believe. that what ive said so far. has a measure of truth. weight. significance. and that im not freaking crazy. about this specific thing anyways. thanks for listening to my tedtalk

88 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

100 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[and-the-world-is-quiet-here]

Live 2020 debate commentary from a salty, disabled, and VERY pissed gen Z

 Yall he just said he’s immune

My dad just left the room

Bitch are u saying Johnson and Johnson is going to make the vaccine?

sir that’s the diaper company…..smh

Biden just said its going to be a dark winter

#winter is coming

“virus.....that came from china” -trump 2020

“were learning to live with it”-trump 2020

apparently “Biden lives in his basement”-your president 2020

totally accurate.....obviously

ohhhh biden just said were learning to die with it

trump interrupted biden

Mam I thought you said you were muting them?

biden laugh count at 3

he all about the once percent till its the dead ones

trump interrupting at 3...nvm its now 4

this debate is making my dog sad

interrupting now at 5 for trump

trump saying his young sons illness just “went away”

bitch he’s may age and no it did not just “go away”

he was in quarantine for two weeks

apparently nyc is a ghost town 

its not a ghost town trump I live right next to it

loudest neighbors ever

trump don’t call him Anthony

his name is DOCTOR Fauci

treat him with the respect he deserves

Biden looks so sad

nvm he legit looks like the joker right now

HALFWAY MARKKK

why is this at 9?

sir its a school night

I need time to scroll through my feed for hours before collapsing

Biden don’t use the word sovereignty

trump doesn't know what it means

thats discrimination against trumps

ohhh hes attacking hunter (biden) again

so he has a wee drug problem?

at this point everyone got one!

your the one making lewd comments about your infant daughter on national tv

(look it up he talks about his 6 month old daughters legs but and breasts)

get him big b!!

h876689908776- my dog 2020

he wants to express his disappointment

the light boxs is stealing his mother attention

ohh hes being rude to the moderator again

u a strong independent Indian woman get him girll!

mute his mike

prty plz

I am dissapionted in you

he’s saying he’s not allowed to release his taxs

(that is a proven lie)

“i was put through a phony witch hunt”- you'll never guess 2020

hes going after his BROTHER now

how is this allowed?

who decided trumps strategy would be to accuse his opponent of his own crimes?

look at the insults guys its a crystal ball

stay ahead of the scandal's

WILL YOU LEAVE HIS SON ALONE PLEASE

THESE ARE HIS CHILDREN LEAVE THEM ALONE

“i was a business man doing business”-trump 2020

no sir you were another rich white guy taking advantage of tax brakes and cheap foreign labor in asia

#american jobs as long as i don’t have to pay minimum wage

#you know like a DECENT FUCKING PERSON

Trump interrupted again

I lost count a while ago

Biden is staring into my soul

oh Biden just played the middle class childhood card

I haven't heard a single mute so far?

trump just said his bromance with kim jung un saved america from nuclear war

dont through my boy Obama under the bus

and another interruption

my big bro just screamed “MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON”

honestly same

10 more min guys

hang in there

OHHH trump just got MUTEDDDDDD

Biden is now on legitimate policy 

ahhh hes proud of his plan

annd trump just interrupted

trump just kissed up to the moderator

trump just said biden’s more liberal than bernie

ohhh

biden just said trump dosent know who hes running against

hes like “this is joe biden”

like I know bro but slick burn anyway

ohhh they muted trump again!!!!

perfect opportunity to mute missed

trump just blamed healthcare issues on nancy peloski

biden says the the republicans wont pass it

(btw hes actualy right)

2 mins left

and trump is speaking through it

1 min left

omg what a waste of air

I really want him to test his “immunity”

preferably during a harsh winter

ITS TEN GUYSSS

there running over

they still haven't covered immigration

shit

I have just learned there is 30 min left

I think I would rather kill myself than watch the rest of this

I’m seriously have a sensory overload right now

I’m doing this for u

“children are brought here by coyotes”-presedentail cown 2020

what a wack ass sentence

hes like ohIi haven't been putting kids in cages

and then just went but I didn't build them they were built in 2014

(contradiction much)

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

yes it was Obama but guess what

THEY WERNT BUILT FOR KIDS

there ment to house animals, evidence, and adult prisoners in emergency situations

THEY WERNT MENT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS

Biden was just like “well no actually kids come with PARENTS”

(kids hardly ever come over with out parents)

and then he was like and also WHO LOST TRACK OF OVER 1,000 PARENTS

(thats 500+ new orphans at the least)

hes saying only the illegal immigrants with the lowest IQs come back after being deported

we said the same thing in december about you but ya’know

my mum was like “anyone eating chocolate” and I was like “im snaking on this ignorance” and she was like “dont do that you'll get indigestion”

“no one has done more for the black community then Donald trump except for maybe Abraham Lincoln”

oh yeah Biden just brought up how trump publicly campaigned for the execution of the central park 5

WHO WERE CHILDREN

AND OH YEAH THEY WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT

trump just yelled at Biden, got muted, and just yelled louder

trump just said he cant see the audience but hes the least racist person in the room

“Abraham lincoln here is one of the most racist presidents in american history”- biden 2020

biden just went “oh god”

he just said that he used to not support the blm movement because they chanted rude things about police officers

I would like to reiterate that “pigs in a blanket” has never been chanted in a protest or been a prominent statement in the blm movement nor “fry em like bacon” so what trump is saying is factually incorrect

unless hes on some sort of far right conservative twitter feed were he came across a video of some drunk white college kids chanting it 

but you know what ever fits you narrative

plus I would be pretty pissed if I kept getting shot at for no reason so....

Biden making more logical decisions

trump was like why have you never done all this stuff when you were vice president

“we had a republican congress” -biden 2020

we have the cleanest air

we have the cleanest crystal clear water

sir, i know you've been to mexico

don’t lie

the waters gorges down there

and not owned by your smug ass

trump just called china filthy

so you know....

*whispers* racism

ok 5 min left

for real this time

trump just went “aoc plus 3: and then hes like she knows nothing about the climate

ummm.... you dont even believe in climate change

bidens like “are....is...is is”

good for you

correcting your grammar

trump just said “the wind kills all the birds” out of the godamn blue

(he means wind mills and its untrue)

“Whats the next question baba”

“the final question is leadership which he doesnt have”- baba 2020

I feel bad for anybody watching this on the toilet

bidens starring into your soul

he knows what your doing

there officially overtime

its 10 33

they haven't even done the last section yet

btw ITS A SCHOOL NIGHT

why do they host these so late

I should be pretending to be asleep right now

this is generational discrimination

plus trumps supporters are so old there asleep by now

ohhhh its over

1036 final time

okay so thoughts....I generally dont like the party system i think its ridiculous the system was not designed for it, and its now more about loyalty then the actual candidates. I also am really hesitant to put another strait white male in the oval office, especially one thats from “the lucky few” I.E. the smallest voting generation in the country and also the one that already holds the most positions. That being said, at this point its really anyone but trump and I think bidens got the experience to turn things around. 

I AM IN SCHOOL I CANNOT VOTE. I am relying on all my older friends, followers, neighbors, and community members. To make an educated decision that wont further degrade the once hopeful future my generation awaits. Please if you can vote VOTE the kids are relying on you!

P.S. sorry i wasn't able to edit this earlier i struggle alot with spelling and didnt have the time to edit this because I HAD TO GO TO BED AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL. Why am I more politically active then people twice my age you might ask? Well, thats because adults are lazy and need to get of their gd asses and VOTE. So kids dont have to do the legwork for them. 

I have said my peace now, have a wonderful day!

[aprilwritesabook]

I appolgize in advance for this long ass post haha.

Alright, so here's the deal. This post is gonna be part rant, part confessional, and part inspirational speech. So if your following this blog purely for the updates on my books you can skip it haha.

I know a currently published author. I used to kinda be friends with them in highschool, but it was more like a friend of a friend type deal. But I digress. Point is. They recently released there second book on Amazon. And I really wanna be happy and proud of them, and to see it as an inspirational thing, buuuuut I'm almost 100 sure they are actually a fraud?

And that's not me being bitter. I really really really wish this wasn't the case. But I have the evidence to back this theory up.

1- they claimed that there first book sold out multiple times. And to be fair this one might be at least partially true. Its rated pretty high on amazon, But then again they only have 4 people rate it and three of those people are the editor formattor and artist for the book. Soooo. Yeah I sure hope they rated it well.

2- they are constantly posting stories to there social media that are far fetched at best. They work in a bookstore. And almost every other week its a slightly diffrent story about a customer who "didn't even know" he was the author who would "burst into tears" the second he told them what the book was about because they were just Soooo touched by the message that they wept to a total stranger??? If that had happened even once it would have been an odd occurance. And this is something that apparently happens alllll the time to them. (I hate to drudge up old memes like this, but)

3- this person has recently made a tick tock and a youtube channel. And like, the content isssss questionable? And that's not necessarily a crime or anything. But they give updates about it on social media as if they are speaking to a mass of adoring fans and like...you can see how many subs and views a person has. We know he dosn't have a big fan base. And I know that sounds harsh. But like, some more gullible people have asked him for advise on how to be "successful" and "gain a following", and he answers them with authority. Like he has the answers even though he clearly dosn't? And that feels really... disingenuous at best?

4- along the same vein as 3. They recently made a post on twitter about how they are "overwhelmed by the amount of love and support they have found on the site" and how they get "some many heartfelt messages." Annnd again. I clicked the account. They literally have 5 followers. And not a SINGLE person has EVER liked, retweeted, or commented on a SINGLE tweet of theirs. Not one. Soooo like not only are you pretending to have a huge fan base that dosn't exist your also making up there engagement with you? Which this alone I feel brings validate to my doubts about the other things. Clearly they arn't above blatant lying and extreme over exaggeration. And also they either don't realize we can all seeeee these facts. Or they don't think anyone will actually check and call them on it ?????

Now there's a lot of other examples I could give. But my point isn't to put this ONE person on blast. I'm not trying to start beef or cause damage to their reputation or anything. Which is why I won't say their name or what there books are. The only way you'd know who I'm talking is if you also knew them in real life. In which case you either already know all this, or you should, so you don't fall victim to their lies.

The reason I'm saying any of this at all is because I think I know why they are doing it. And why so many indie authors or would be media mogels feel the need to do this.

The issue with trying to "build an audience" and "self market" yourself, is that you really only have 2 ways of guaranteed sucess.

You either need to have a pre established audience based on success you've already had in the past. (IE youtubers and movie stars writing successful books cause there fans will buy anything of there's reguardless.)

Or you need to buy your way in. Be it by quitting your day job to make social media your full time job, buying ads, hiring a social media person,or hiring a team of people with their own audiences (audio book narrators, cover artists, managers, ect)

And if you don't ALREADY have an audience, and you don't have the funds to BUY your way in, then your just gonna have to get real lucky.

You can be lucky for knowing somebody with an "in". They work in publishing, or advertising, or they're your rich uncle. Just someone who you can go to to get that boost one way or another to get one of the first two methods going for you.

You can get lucky by commenting the right thing on the right post and gaining followers that way. Or by being in the right place at the right time to meet somebody important.

You can be lucky by having lots of supportive friends and family who will promote you and your work FOR you.

Or lastly (and this is in the realm of being a one in a million case here. So it basically never happens without one of the other things I mentioned also being true.)

You can be lucky by working REALLY hard, and being REALLY talented, and having the world actually NOTICE YOU somehow? Just one person with influence who can find you in your dark hole of insignificance and shine a light on you so now the world can actually seee you.

And that sucks.

You could write the greatest book in the whole world. Truly a masterpiece. But if nobody buys it or reads it because they don't know who you are??? Then it dosen't matter does it?

It sucks Soooo hard.

Because untill you get those people with influence to shine a light on you, theres nothing you can do. And the market is soooooo drenched in new indie authors that the odds of the right people finding and liking your book are slim to none.

Its super unfair.

The people who have the influence arn't gonna buy a book with 0 reviews and no social media following.

Why? Because THEIR brand depends on only recommending the good shit. And they need to find that good shit NOW. If they read every book written by nobody's online, they'd have to wade through ALOT of garbage. wasting all their valuable time and money till they found something worthy. And honestly, from a business stand point, you cant really fault them for that

This is where the lies come from.

So basically no matter how you look at it, or what your strategy is, In order to get fans, you need to ALREADY HAVE THEM.

When your just starting out. And I mean truly at square one. It really feels like the only way to "make it" is to "fake it"

If you PRETEND to have a big following. And you PRETEND your books are selling really well already. And you PRETEND that people care deeply about you and your work... Then there is a chance that nobody will do the homework to find out its all a lie.

And if they think your successful already, then it sends a message to the consumers brains of "well they must be good. Everybody loves it/them".

It sucks that so many people who have found real success did so with lies, cash, and being already well connected.

And then they buy it, and they follow you, and the confirmation bias sets in, and eventually you'll dupe enough people into liking you that you don't HAVE to lie anymore.

Those of us with no cash and too high a conscious to lie our way to the top are left with virtually no chance of succeeding no matter how hard we work or how good our content is.

And I'm not claiming to be "better than" or "more worthy" than anyone else. I wanna make it clear that of your in the portion of having it fake it so you can follow your dreams then more power to you. Its a valid strategy. I hate that it works and I hate that its the only option sometimes. But I don't hate the people as creators for "doing what it takes." I get it. Really I do.

And it suckks major ass that so many people feel like this is the only way.

My whole point here. Is that we have slowly built a system where this is our reality. And honestly? End of the day? There's not a damn thing we can do to change it at this point.

In a perfect world made of unicorns and puppies. I could say "hey lets all go ready books by completely unknown authors. Be the change you wanna see in the world." But at the end of the day, especially in the unfiltered world of self publishing, It would be a complete shot in the dark to spend your resources on something completely unknown. We rely on word of mouth, and "best sellers" and high following to do the work of filtering out the bad stuff for us and it would be unrealistic if not impossible to go back on it now. Even if we wanted to there algorithms and shit built into the code. You'll never find the books that Amazon dosnt want you to find unless you search for it directly.

Now comes the confession/inspirational bit

I know all of the above to be true...But I'm choosing not to care

I'm not gonna lie my way to the top. I'm not gonna hide my struggles out of fear of seeming inferior. So here goes

I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety. I've been working on it, and I've gotten so much better in recent years. But there are always gonna be times when I slip up and my mental illnesses take over

When I was writing my first book I felt really empowered and good about myself for finally getting past all my own barriers and following my dreams.

And then once I was done writting and editing and I was ready to show the world and get feedback. I flopped.

I couldn't find anyone willing to beta read. Those who said they would do it (even people who claimed they "couldn't wait") ghosted me after I actually sent it to them

I was hoping to get 20 people. I really wanted it to be the best it could be. Only 11 actully signed up. Of that 11, 5 people actually read it: My spouse, my brother, my best friend, and 2 others. Those two others read the first bit I sent them, took a few weeks to get back to me, said they loved it, but then Neeeeeeeeever got back to me when I sent them the next chunk.

Now you can look at all that and come to the conclusion that it sucks. I know I sure did.

The struggles at each step made me doubt myself more and more to the point that I almost gave up writing all together.

And I didn't want to take about it or how it was making me feel, even though it was having a serious impact on me. I wanted to bottle it all up and let it consume me. Allllll because I didn't want people online to write me off as a failure before even giving me the chance.

I wasn't lying about being successful. I was just trying to hide the fact that I wasn't.

And that's almost as bad. Because then all the new authors just feel worse about themselves and their journey because they think they are the only ones.

Your not alone.

Everyone is struggling.

We just aren't talking about it.

I haven't written a word in over a week because I've been so afraid my second book will be dead on arrival like my first.

And I KNOW somewhere out there is someone just like me whose thinking of giving up.

Don't.

Just keep going.

Do your best. And then come find another struggling writer and share with each other. The world outside might not understand your struggle. But another author might.

We can't change the market. We can't change the way social media works, or how people decide if they will buy things

But what we CAN change, is whether those of us within the community want to be honest about our struggles and frustrations. Or if we want to hide them away and lie about them for the sake of making more sales

I think by being honest with one another we can create a better network.

That way the next time you feel like garbage for not being an "instant celebrity" like everyone else. you can look at the community and realize that you were never the problem

If we just keep making new writing friends our collective reach will eventually take hold in the outside world. Don't wait for a random influencer to notice you. Just make one friend at a time. Be known amongst your peers and maybe the rest will follow

And if your a writer desperate for feedback, or just a friend to share your troubles with. Hit me up. My inbox is always open.