#so i think she needs a service dogge

[lacnunga]

I think Emma pole deserves a service dog

[leonardhoee]

Ikevamp Boys In Vegas

Leonardo:

Ok Leo wouldn’t really be into the expensive nightlife part of Vegas. He’d probably like the old bars and pubs in downtown Vegas where all the original casinos are. He’d also like to explore the nearby mining ghost downs (Rhyolite Ghost Town). (He’d also take everyone to the ghost tours of those places at night). He would probably just wake up and leave the hotel and when all the others wake up they can’t find him but don’t really question it since they probably expected him to go off exploring on his own. He would also go to the Neon Graveyard and Madame Tussaud’s + any other cool art display with Vincent and Theo. He would take MC to the gondolas in the Venetian hotel. They would also go to the Ceaser’s Palace mall and just run around there for hours looking at different stores and get lost. He’d like the Avengers Exhibit and he’d try to make some of the things he saw there. (There was also a Da Vinci exhibit that MC would definitely take him to see). One time Leo and Dazai were smoking together at a fancy rooftop bar and ended up sharing a blunt with Snoop Dogg. Both of them wake up the next day thinking it was a fever dream. (Listen I just really think Leo and Snoop Dogg would be good friends. They are basically the same person)

Arthur:

He would immediately go to an expensive rooftop bar to flirt with women (If MC isn't part of this). His favorite places would be the strip clubs and bars (he drags Theo with him). He and Comte go to a Burlesque club together. He got kicked out of a bar once because he was unknowingly hitting on someone’s wife. This boy would also take Theo Gucci shopping with him. The two of them will probably get into several bar fights and either get kicked out or arrested. (Comte bails them out). He would take pictures with every showgirl he meets and gets Theo in on some of them (Theo is just standing there glaring at the camera with his arms crossed). He loved going to the Pitbull concert, wants to be called Mr. Worldwide now but no one will call him that. He would also go to Casinos and somehow win big to impress MC. Security is keeping an eye on him.

Comte:

One of the chillest ones on the trip. He just goes to fancy restaurants and watches Cirque Du Soliel shows. Every time you see him he just has a glass of expensive wine. He takes Leo to clubs with him, even though they just sit by the bar the whole time having a drinking competition. Comte also runs into Arthur at a Burlesque club. (This man would be into burlesque you can’t tell me otherwise).  He mostly just manages everyone’s schedule, helps them book tickets for whatever they want to do, and occasionally bails people out. Also goes to Italian restaurants with Leo (because Vegas has the best Italian food I’ve ever had ong) What? No ofc its not a date. He buys MC a new dress and leaves it on her bed with a note telling her to be ready by 6 and takes her to an exclusive restaurant in a limo. He goes all out for their date.

Shakespeare:

Bruh he would absolutely LOVE all the different shows. The whole environment that THRIVES off entertainment. This would be his dream city. He would somehow get backstage for a Variety show and help them add scenes and dance numbers. He’d come back with so many ideas for his own plays. He would also follow around some of the wilder residents to see if they do something he can include in his plays. I also believe he’d somehow find the most romantic places to take MC if she was there with them. He would also be interested in the Mob Museum and the mafia history. He would LOVE Criss Angel’s Mindfreak show (No I’m not just saying that because I love it too)

Napoleon: 

I think he would like exploring the various hotels more than going out clubbing. Let’s be honest, Comte would get the super expensive suites so Napoleon would just be sleeping in half the day. He would use it as a chance to unwind and would take full advantage of the room service and spas. He would go to the pool with MC and Sebastian. I can see him being everyone’s designated photographer and bag holder. If MC wants to go somewhere he would come with her to make sure she gets there safely (The amount of creepy old men who have stared at me when I walk through casinos is gross).

Vincent: 

He and Theo would definitely go to the Neon Graveyard with Leo. They would also love seeing the abstract art pieces and murals that are all over downtown Las Vegas. He would be so amazed seeing the seasonal decorations in the Bellagio hotel. MC would take him to the Van Gogh art gallery so he and Theo could see how successful his art has become. He also like exploring the hotel with everyone and going to the pool to relax. He would take amazing pictures of MC and make an album for her. One time he was walking to a show with everyone when a few showgirls asked if he wanted to take a picture. And being the absolute angel he is, he told them how beautiful they are and just had the most wholesome heart- stealing interaction with them. 

Theo:

He would go to old bars and pubs with Leo and Arthur in downtown Vegas (They got into a bar fight that Leo helped them hide from Comte). Arthur would drag him to various clubs but I think he would have an overall artistic appreciation for Burlesque. I think he’d be happy to see that artistic expression isn't being censored anymore like it was in his time. MC would take him and Vincent to the Van Gogh exhibit. He would also love the different murals and abstract art that's all over downtown Las Vegas. MC would buy him one of those glass art sculptures and he would be all “oh Hondje brought me a toy?” but he would actually be super touched and would blush when she gave it to him. Arthur would also drag him into taking pictures with various showgirls and then would get jealous when Theo gets more attention from them (even though Theo isn’t a big fan of it).

Isaac:

Isaac would go to all the different museum exhibits with Leo, MC, and the Van Gogh. He would also enjoy the Avengers Exhibit because of all the crazy technology and scientific concepts used in creating it. He would also go to the spas with Napoleon and MC because that boy needs to relax himself. I think most of the time he would either stick with Leo, Napoleon or MC because Vegas is... a lot and he might get overwhelmed. Arthur would rope him into taking a picture with the Showgirls and he would be flustered for the rest of the day. He mostly just gets dragged into whatever activities the others are doing.

Dazai:

Dazai would love all the different comedy shows. He would also be exploring the hotels but instead of finding the spa he would find the most random hidden storage areas and rooms of the hotel. By the end of the trip he would somehow know the whole hotel inside out. One time he went missing and no one could find them until he came down the elevator with this rich elderly couple who gave him a tour of their whole VIP floor. He would also go out to bars with Leo in the middle of the night and they’d come back and just smoke together on the balcony. He would find the best obscure dessert places in the whole city and somehow make friends with a celebrity that he met purely by accident. (He just shows up to lunch with Pitbull one day and he’s like “yeah I just met him in the bathroom”. MC and Sebastian are  s h o o k)

Mozart:

Mozart would be very interested in seeing the street musicians and how they're able to play songs from everyday objects.He, Comte, and MC go shopping together and then they’d go to exclusive lounges together. He gets dragged to clubs by everyone but god forbid he gets touched by a sweaty person dancing, he will LOOSE IT. He gives pointers to the DJs and he actually likes listening to different genres of music. (Funny story, one time my dad went to a club in Vegas where Calvin Harris was DJing and he gave him tips on how to mix songs. He had no idea who Calvin Harris was). Mozart loves the spa and huge bathrooms, hates casinos since he thinks they're noisy and filthy. He goes to the mall and buys expensive skincare items. 

Jean:

Poor boy is so lost. Just like Isaac he kind of gets dragged everywhere. He likes going to the lounges with MC and Mozart but most of the time he will just want to enjoy the hotel room alone. MC doesn't want him to be alone the whole time so she takes him to see the Bellagio decorations and takes adorable candid pictures of him while he's there. He is amazed at how they were able to create something like that. He’s also amazed at the fountain show that MC takes him to at night. Mozart and MC take Jean with them when they goes shopping and he buys Jean some nice things (because he DESERVES IT). Would avoid clubs at all costs and if he somehow gets dragged there by everyone he leaves the first chance he gets.

Sebastian:

Like Shakespeare, Sebastian also follows around the residents, seeing how they react to such a new environment. He takes notes on all their activities and exchanges info with Shakespeare. He made all the reservations and keeps track of everyone’s itinerary. He is the only other person who knows about Arthur and Theo’s bar fight because Leo told him in exchange for modern cigarettes. He was so excited when Napoleon asked him to join him in their spa trip. Most of the time Sebastian goes with Comte and Napoleon to their activities. He would also love seeing some of the historical exhibits, like the Titanic and Ancient Egypt ones in the Luxor hotel. He’s mainly just happy to have enough free time to write as much info in his book as he wants.

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, November 16

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Jeffrey Epstein’s madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s nights with Prince Andrew and teen Virginia Roberts Giuffre

Page 2: Brad Pitt kicked married galpal Nicole Poturalski to the curb after getting flak from his ex Angelina Jolie -- Brad’s relationship with Nicole hit the skids after Brad decided he needed to shore up his image during his ongoing custody battle with Angie and his focus right now is to get his dad image back on track and give Angie no more ammo to fling back at him

Page 3: Tiger Woods’ romance with Erica Herman has gone off course over legal troubles and wedding pressure and bickering over where to live and Tiger is so fed up he’s considering ditching his nagging girlfriend in Florida and moving back to his native California -- Erica’s been pressuring him to put a ring on it ever since she moved into his Jupiter Island mansion and that’s something he just won’t do and she’s already taken over his household buying new furniture and remodeling the master bath and building a new closet and hiring a gourmet chef -- California is looking better and better to Tiger who only moved to Florida to play on its tough Bermuda grass which helped improve his swing but now Tiger’s ex Elin lives in Florida with their two kids 

Page 4: Miranda Lambert is scoffing at ex Blake Shelton’s newly announced engagement to Gwen Stefani and she’s convinced Blake’s third walk down the aisle has failure written all over it because she thinks Blake’s bad to the bone and this marriage will wind up being a total disaster and after the hell Blake put her through Miranda can’t imagine his life with Gwen would be any different, lifelong bachelor Simon Cowell has had a change of heart since his horrific August accident and he’s finally ready to tie the knot with baby mama Lauren Silverman -- after spinal surgery to repair his broken back the entertainment mogul feels lucky to be alive and walking and the one constant in his difficult rehab after surgery has been Lauren and he wants to pay her back with a ring 

Page 5: Train-wreck Wendy Williams’ wacky behavior has TV producers scrambling behind the scenes to find her replacement after her unhinged performance on a recent episode of her talk show where she slurred her words and rambled incoherently -- there had been a hope a chatfest helmed by Nick Cannon could be a safety net should the daytime diva who spent a stint in a sober living house last year not be able to continue hosting but plans for that were pushed back after the comic made anti-Semitic rants in a podcast -- they also tried Jerry O’Connell when Wendy was out for three weeks last year but he tanked with viewers -- Wendy’s a mess and it remains to be seen how long producers will be able to put up with her problems before they decide to pull the plug 

Page 6: Grey’s Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo hinted that she may be making her final rounds -- Ellen who has starred on the show since 2005 and makes $20 million a year admitted she’s considering slipping out of her scrubs after the current season 17 but her departure could spell the end of the beloved series and show creator Shonda Rhimes has said it’s unlikely the show could continue without her but Ellen has also expressed her desire to spend more time with her husband and their three children

Page 7: Mariah Carey’s brother Morgan blasted her memoir as filled with lies and distortions and he’s considering legal action -- the book called Morgan and sister Alison her ex-brother and ex-sister and Mariah wrote Morgan had a long history of violence and when she was six he slammed their mother into a wall -- Mariah also wrote her siblings and mother were heartless in terms of dealing with her as a human being and once she got famous they started treating her like an ATM with a wig on but Morgan is fighting back and looking to hire a lawyer

Page 8: Reese Witherspoon’s marriage to Jim Toth is in the muck after the stunning collapse of his new business venture and tensions are mounting in the Hollywood power couple’s already troubled union now that the streaming service Quibi crumbled after less than six months leaving content acquisition president Jim out of work while Reese’s star continues to rise and there’s a real balance of power that’s been building up and that’s put a serious strain on the relationship -- living in quarantine added to the stress between them as Reese has been holed up with her two kids with ex Ryan Phillippe Ava and Deacon and her son Tennessee with Jim at the family’s ranch in Malibu

Page 9: Dementia patient Kenny Rogers cut his three adult children out of his $250 million will and now sources fear the late country legend could have been tricked into signing the document -- Kenny left everything to his 16-year-old twins sons with fifth wife Wanda and the will also stated it was his intent to specifically exclude his daughter Carole with his first wife and son Kenny Jr. with third wife and son Christopher with fourth wife and their issue as beneficiaries of his estate -- Kenny Sr. would never disown his own children according to the source especially since the singer’s son Kenny Jr. is incorrectly referred to Kenny Rogers III throughout the will -- the wording is not like Kenny Sr. and something is not right and his older kids are thinking about contesting the will 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Kate McKinnon shot a Saturday Night live skit in NYC, Sophia Bush hit the road in L.A. with her co-pilot pup Maggie, pregnant Jinger Duggar Vuolo in Venice with daughter Felicity, Heidi Klum walking the streets in her native Germany, Snoop Dogg saluted young rappers as he accepted BET’s I Am Hip Hop award 

Page 11: Unwitting Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler once dabbled in the secret sex cult NXIVM -- the organization masqueraded as a self-help group but in 2017 it was exposed as a pyramid scheme for founder Keith Raniere who forced high-ranking female recruits to become his sex slaves -- in 2010 Jen and Gerry who were dating at the time wound up at one of the introductory seminars but they were turned off by the level of commitment expected and never returned -- they thought it was just a networking opportunity and had no idea what they were getting themselves into, cash-crunched Gwyneth Paltrow is facing hard times like everyone else and is looking to change her free-spending ways -- the belt-tightening caused by the coronavirus pandemic has even hit her lifestyle empire Goop causing her to shut down the London branch and make hard choices for the future -- Gwyneth may be worth $100 million but she and husband Brad Falchuk spend money like it’s going out of style on private jets they use on a whim and they own a fleet of fancy cars and pay steep salaries for staff who are at their beck and call 24/7 and it’s all draining their bank accounts -- they’re looking at making cuts across the board from personal trainers and chefs and drivers to the masseurs and beauticians who come to their house several times a week -- plus the couple believe it’s a bad look for them to be living so high on the hog when the rest of the world is suffering during the pandemic

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Angelina Jolie spent years developing her own version of the Hollywood classic Cleopatra and now she’s livid that Gal Gadot has stolen the Egyptian queen -- Angie’s dream was to play Cleopatra the role that made Elizabeth Taylor an icon and it was to be the part that won Angie an Academy Award for Best Actress and now that’s over thanks to Gal who will be playing the Queen of the Nile instead, after ABC scrapped plans to honor Regis Philbin with a prime-time tribute Jimmy Kimmel insisted on honoring Regis on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, MSNBC talking head Rachel Maddow is fleeing New York for her Massachusetts farm after hanging a $2.3 million price tag on her NYC pad but Rachel didn’t want potential buyers looking through all the personal stuff at her apartment so all the personal pictures and books and clothing and everything else was shipped out and replaced with staged furniture, Ariel Winter and her dog (picture) 

Page 13: Ailing Joni Mitchell opened up about how she’s still struggling to get back to her old self five years after a debilitating brain bleed -- after Joni was found unresponsive in her Bel-Air home in 2015 she said she was forced to relearn everyday tasks because the aneurysm took away her speech and her ability to walk and although she’s showing slow improvement she hasn’t been writing or playing the guitar or the piano, Randy Travis is defying all the odds as he plans the greatest comeback in country music history as he is making amazing progress after suffering a massive 2013 stroke that most believed would end his career forever and he was given just 1% chance of survival and even after he pulled through doctors believed he would be bedridden and unable to speak -- instead his grueling rehab efforts have miraculously put him on the road to realizing his dream of returning to the spotlight -- some of his motivation is financial; last year he sold his Nashville home and released his memoir which was fueled by his need to pay medical expenses after years of not being able to perform

Page 14: Hollywood Hookups -- Channing Tatum and Jessie J have split again, Cole Sprouse and Reina Silva dating, Kate Beckinsale and Goody Grace split 

Page 15: Ariana Grande is raising eyebrows with her raunchy new record Positions -- the former squeaky-clean Nickelodeon star who has been dating real estate agent Dalton Gomez spouted off X-rated odes to an unnamed lover on the LP, six months after sidelining her marriage to former quarterback Jay Cutler Kristin Cavallari admitted there are good days and bad days but insisted it’s been nice to be able to focus on herself and figure out who she is now and what she ultimately wants out of life, hotel heiress Kathy Hilton is joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as a friend of the main cast which includes her half-sister Kyle Richards

Page 16: Crime 

Page 17: On Drew Barrymore’s talk show a psychic guest channeled the spirit of one of the host’s former in-laws but the man in question is very much alive -- medium Anna Raimondi told Drew she sensed the aura of a judge causing Drew to burst into tears and named David a relative of her ex-husband Will Kopelman claiming he’d passed but Judge David Kopelman is alive and still going strong -- Will slammed Anna was a submental hack and said he was surprised that Drew chose to give oxygen to someone like that

Page 18: American Life 

Page 20: Cover Story -- Prince Andrew is desperate to quash explosive testimony by his pedophile pal Jeffrey Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell but the socialite’s second secret deposition is torpedoing his return from royal exile -- after Ghislaine danced around details of her relationship with the disgraced Duke of York in testimony released a few weeks ago Andrew is sweating bullets about her second grilling under oath which contains details of their intimate friendship and nights with Epstein’s teen sex slave Virginia Roberts Giuffre 

Page 22: Don McLean viciously slammed ex-wife Patrisha Shnier as the worst person her ever knew but in their ongoing war of words she maintains he was abusive to her -- Don is still bitter over a 2016 domestic incident at their home in Maine that landed him behind bars and led to divorce after 30 years of marriage

Page 26: Matthew McConaughey confessed he nearly turned his back on Tinseltown to be a wildlife guide like late Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin -- he made a splash in a string of blockbuster rom-coms in the ‘90s and ‘00s but he was eager to move on to meatier movies and even passed on a $14.5 million paycheck in 2010 to seek more substantial roles and the struggle left him considering other careers such as a wildlife guide, Jamie Foxx has been crushed by the death of his beloved sister DeOndra Dixon who was born with Down syndrome

Page 28: Good Catch -- Bachelor stars who are still up for grabs -- Jon Hamm, Owen Wilson, Drew Carey

Page 29: Benicio Del Toro, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Perry, some stars seem to say I do at the drop of the hat -- Larry King, Jerry Lee Lewis, Billy Bob Thornton 

Page 32: Olivia Munn was caught on camera flashing what looked like engagement bling on her left ring finger as she exited a gym following a morning workout in Los Angeles but she reportedly broke up with boyfriend Tucker Roberts last year leaving fans wondering who bought the stunning sparkler 

Page 36: Health Watch 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Michelle Pfeiffer 

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Allison Janney on Mom 

Page 47: Odd List 

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

a list of gross/weird ass advances that i’ve had from people:

•that one boy in primary school who was a younger brother of someone in my year, in the year under us, that harassed me for like two years straight by following me around singing/rapping eminem’s “shake that” ft nate dogg to me. like y’all this shit was happening when i was like 9-11 years old. and this behaviour ruined that song for me for literal YEARS. obvs, you could fight this one with “well, he was just a kid and you were as well. so, it can’t really be helped or criticised bc he was just repeating the things you’d both heard on the tv/radio. he probs thought at the time that this was an okay song (which it obvs wasn’t) to sing to a girl that he liked; bc it was so popular back then (2005-2006)” which, of course, is to some extent true. but still???? a kid should know the meaning of “can you please STOP following me around singing that song, thanks?” that i asked him several times to do, but he kept doing it, until i told a teacher.

-that one time at 13/14 when i signed up to facebook for the first time ever, after two years of being used to myspace (good times),and got automatically signed up to the dating app zoosk bc FB had decided to sign me up as single and lonely and therefore, i needed a man. so, i spent my first 3 fucking months of facebook trying to find how to deactivate that fucking app and had men in their late teens to their early/mid 20s hitting on me through the whole thing. but at least most of the guys were understanding here and were rightfully freaked out as i was that fb had signed a fucking 13/14 year old up to a motherfucking dating service.

•”your name is so fucked! like it’s so hard to learn how to fucking spell and pronounce... like why the fuck would your parents call you that bc no one would call their kid that??? anyway, I’m just gonna call you *insert plain ass white girl name here* for the rest of conversation bc it’s soooo much easier for me! but like, why the actual fuck won’t you give me more than two word replies you super over conceited bitch!? when i’ve been nothing but nice to you?!  btw you’re sexy anyway and that should fix this. ps. send me nudes on snapchat bc its 2am and im lonely.” (all the same guy.)

•”oh hey.... we should make a wager where we if we ever meet and go out to a bar.... and we should bet off each other virginity’s right? are you with me? anyway, so, we go to a bar and see who gets fucked first and so loses their virginity first. and whoever loses their virginity first has to fuck the other one so that we both lose out virginity on the same night! sounds like a great idea doesn’t it? hahahahaha 😂😅 ”constant harassment for nudes and nude videos to be this guy’s private cam girl, bc apparently “following you for 4 years on tumblr is a lot of trust and so you owe me nudes bitch” ”oh and by the way, how are all your vibrators? are they getting a good work out? 😉😏😏” (this is all the same guy who follows me on here.)

•that one dude who thought that me inviting a friend along with me to us meeting in Bondi (in Sydney) made my friend an awkward 3rd wheel bc apparently we were a couple bc he liked all my posts on this godawful problematic hellsite. he was 18 like me. but still.

•those two 28 year olds who harassed me with sexual messages when I was 17 again on this godawful hellsite. and one of those guys always asking for selfies bc I was “so hot” and “so pretty” like y’all I WAS A FUCKING CHILD AND THEY WERE FULL GROWN ADULT MEN PAYING BILLS AND SHIT. IT WAS LIKE: PLS TRY AND PULL WOMEN YOUR OWN AGE. and then the other dude using the teacher sex fantasy where they fuck in the girls changeroom after sport.... when he was literally old enough to be a PE teacher at my school.

•literally just everything my high school stalker said to me back in the day and when I ended up running into him in 2015 on the bus home from uni.

•that one guy who I s2g was in his 30s and not his 20s like he said; from like azerbaijan or some other random country, hitting on me when I was 18/19 bc I “looked like a nice girl”

•those two guys somewhere in their 20s (where one of the guys was trying to set me up with his friend) when I was 17/18 who kept asking me if I’d ever watched porn and masturbated... and why I still hadn’t fucked anyone yet when I should’ve fucked someone by the time I was 15, apparently.

•mr creeper mccreepcreep who was absolutely hellbent in trying to confiscate/steal my phone (and my bag at one point) from me and just generally trying to leave me without my phone last year at a bar with some friends (2017) when he found out by peering over my shoulder at my phone, that i’d texted someone to pick me up from the bar to escape from him. bc remember: “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO LEAVE ME AND TEXT PEOPLE TO LEAVE THE BAR WHEN I’VE JUST MET YOU! AND YOU’RE SEXY SLEEP WITH ME, YOU BITCH! AND BY THE WAY, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LOOK AT OR EVEN ASK FOR MY PHONE EXCEPT TO ADD ME ON FACEY! :P” (this is what i think his thought process was it’s not what he actually said out loud) the whole time i was with him though, he was completely and utterly grossing me the fuck out and scaring me to death with how desperate he was to leave me without an escape route from that bar other than either him or my friends (ie my phone) and feeling straight up my dress and trying to “convince you (me) to kiss me (him)” i’m pretty sure i was close to getting my drink spiked if i’d had one with me tbh. he just gave off that feeling.

•ok this wasn’t from a guy... but when I moved schools at 16/17 (2012), one of the girls that I met was hellbent again on trying to “get you (me) a boyfriend bc you (i) need one”, apparently. in this process, she kept trying to set me up with men in their late 20s/early 30s (and a tiny minority close to our age at the time, at 16-18 even early 20s) and practically bribed me (i.e. she gave me jewellery and CD’s to keep me quiet each time) for the use of my phone to do so. she always asked me if i was talking to those guys and when i said no she was always like “why though??? they’re so nice!” and i was like “THE BULK OF THEM ARE ADULT MEN MABEL! THEY SHOULDN’T BE FLIRTING WITH/TRYING TO DATE GIRLS WHO ARE 16/17!!! SOME OF THEM ARE ALMOST TWICE OUR AGE!!! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT???!!!″ to which she’d answer with “so?????” she even asked a few times if she could take my mobile phone home WITH HER to add more creepy men.... which i obviously said a resounding “NO????!!!!” to.  finally, at the end of all that shit, she hit on me. when I said no she asked “is that bc you went to catholic school?” and I was like “no it’s just bc I don’t swing that way right now.” (and plus your behaviour is really fucking weird and concerning).

but the moral of this post is to fucking stay safe, my ragtime gals and my dudes.

[apptg554]

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[wvrners-blog]

*snoop dogg vc* greetings, loved ones! let’s take a journey!   ; )

alternatively: hello, my name is lea ( 19 | est | she/her ) and this is the one where i introduce you to my little raindrop droptop gumdrop son, WARNER CHOI !

isn’t that ROSS BUTLER ? wait, that’s just WARNER. you can tell it’s him because of the WINTER GREEN TIC TACS & THE SCENT OF MAISON MARGIELA’S ‘JAZZ CLUB’, TOPPED OFF WITH A HONEY-DIPPED SMILE. he is the TWENTY THREE year old in the CHOI family. people say that he tends to be ALLUSIVE but i’ve seen them be PACIFIC. don’t tell anyone but i heard that he is hiding THAT HE HAS BEEN FORGING PRESCRIPTIONS AND SKIMMING MEDS FROM HIS WORKPLACE FOR BOTH HIMSELF AND HIS FAMILY. 

alright so just to preface: it is currently 12:15am, i have just returned from the gym, and therefore this intro will be an absolute trash amalgamation of headcanons & word vomit! but without further ado! let’s dive in!

warner is still v much a dude i’m figuring out, but a skeletal version of his BACKSTORY goes a little bit like this:

born & raised in sunray, but only for a short while. shortly after beginning preschool at 3 years old, it became clear to the choi parents that warner simply could not conform to a traditionally paced education system. the boy was far too perceptive for his age, to the point where he often shocked his educators and peers with unwarrantedly accurate analyses. ( for example, upon witnessing his preschool teacher discipline another child for the use of ‘vulgar language,’ three-year-old warner declared the following while holding his peanut butter & fluff sandwich with the crusts cut off: “  don’t think you should take anyone else’s words without asking. that’s an invasion of freedom. ” 

so warner spent his actual years of primary education off at a prestigious new york boarding school, cultivating his wits. i imagine this did do some damage to his bond with his siblings/parents, but not from his end. in general, warner is the epitome of warm and inviting. he loves completely, all or nothing, even from afar. but as the years progressed, it became much simpler for him to stay with friends during the holidays rather than fly back across the country for every official recess. so his visits to sunray grew slim, to the point where, by the time he entered high school, he only returned home for a few weeks each summer.

warner had always fostered a passion for science and along with a vivacious curiosity about his surrounding world. it was no shock to his academic mentors when he opted to apply to colleges in pursuit of a biology/pre-med degree. what was surprising was his choice of school -- rather than attend harvard, massachusetts institute of technology, or princeton ( his top three picks, all of which he was accepted to ), warner chose to attend arizona state university. though the choi family didn’t need to save the money, warner felt self-imposed pressure to be closer to his family, to make up for the colossal amount of time he spent away. while attending college, he supplemented his classes and expedited his dual degree by working as an EMT with the ASU emergency medical services. it was through this job that he met chase rutherford, the man who would later become his boyfriend -- and current fiancé.

warner has never been closeted. not really. being away for primary/secondary school and living on-campus at ASU helped him kind of just... exist happily without his parents knowing? but as his visits with the family grew more frequent given his collegiate location in state, it was only natural that eventually his parents put two-and-two together. and while they weren’t exactly unsupportive, there was a certain element of disappointment evident from his father. warner did a pretty adequate job of subduing his response to his father’s reaction, channeling his emotions into furthering himself in the medical field. pushing himself to make his father proud again.

( tw: death, grief ) currently, he works as a pediatric oncological nurse, which might perhaps aid in mending his relationship with his father. if, of course, his father were alive to see it. warner was only promoted to this position about three months ago -- his father died several weeks shy of witnessing his son become anything more than a standard physician’s assistant. knowing this absolutely haunts warner, but he refuses to talk about it. and the same goes for the tragic, sudden nature of his father’s death -- as well as the unsolved nature of the crime.

( tw: drug abuse, addictive behavior ) following his father’s death, the choi family has been in shambles. and with nothing being done to catch the person who stole away their patriarch’s life? it only seems natural that the crew would turn to... external... means of self-medicating. at the first sign of trouble, warner felt compelled to put an end to it, stage an intervention. but he knew what it was like, living in pain, and denying his family the right to feel better. the right not to feel at all. against his better judgment, he began forging painkiller prescriptions for his oncology patients and pocketing them once they were filled. it started as a covert operation for his mother and sister. 

the night of his father’s death when a little like this: “you had so much potential. wasted on such a small place in this world. call me when you have something notable to tell.” warner attempted to protest, to offer something more than himself, but he could only utter a stifled, “but -- you don’t understand --” before a loud bang sounded. a series of loud screeches, gasps, clattering as the other end of the line left his father’s hand. and then the line... went dead.

one afternoon, about a week into his medicinal misappropriation, the last words his father said to him on the night of his death wouldn’t relinquish their hold. the usual remedies didn’t work: deep breaths warranted no result. distracting himself with his work proved immaterial. there was no escape. so warner dipped into the bottle of pills he’d intended to hand over to his mother later that night. and he finally understood why she couldn’t possibly go without.

a valium here and there turned into a routine occurrence. a little something to get through work. a small dose to make the estate settlement more bearable. something to subdue the nightmares. everything became a valid reason for some supplementation by negation. maybe if he could shut off his mind, maybe if he could calm his nerves, maybe if he got high enough, it could all just... vanish. but sadly, that’s not how this kind of thing works. but no one’s really been able to tell warner that, since he’s kept this entire ordeal neatly tucked just below the surface. no one but his family knows -- because they’re all on the same derailing train.

some general notes about his PERSONALITY & QUIRKS :

he loves working with kids, and honestly, no better person could be chosen to work one-on-one every day with children diagnosed with terminal illnesses. warner has a certain serenity to his presence; he walks into a room and any remnants of strife vacate the premises. tension clears, like the atmosphere after fresh rain.

dude’s gotta wear scrubs at the hospital, but his personal sense of style consists mostly of fitted shirts, blazers, tailored pants, and wonderful statement shoes. this man knows how to dress.

the great british baking show is his latest inspiration. is he trying to make cupcakes right now? maybe. is he accidentally using baking powder instead of baking soda? uhm. oh. whoops.

honestly how did he survive going to school on the east coast? this dude is... such sunshine? so arizona? sees the best in everyone, refuses to be unkind even to the assholes of this universe. his version of an ill-wish goes a little something like: “y’know, i really hope they freak out about losing their keys only to then find them in their pocket.”

america runs on dunkin’ and warner runs on caffeine !! definitely more of a tea than a coffee fella, but he’ll take whatever he can get before/during/after a crazy shift.

winter green tic tacs have been his favorite thing since the third grade. hey. did you know if you chomp on them really hard in the dark with your mouth open, they’ll flash? no! seriously! you don’t believe me? hold on -- grab the lights. he’s done that to everyone he’s ever met/will continue to meet.

will NOT talk about his own feelings !!  he is an expert side-stepper, and he’ll find a way to swerve and avoid being the topic of discussion by spinning the concerns back onto you. call him on it, or don’t. he’ll still try to deflect.

lowkey sings? but only in the shower, in the car, or to people who ask nicely. or get him drunk. either or.

oh my god, he’s a tall & muscular guy -- 6′3 to be exact -- but he is such a lightweight. two glasses of wine have him all giggly and snuggly. one shot of tequila turns him into an epic flirt.

warner spends a lot of his free time doing crosswords, playing sudoku, and reading academic journals. human encyclopedia at your service. need some fun facts for your next group setting? look no further -- warner has an arsenal of extra knowledge at the ready.

um?? so in love with chase??? it’s like. someone will say his name, or so much as mention something remotely related to him, and warner will turn into the mushiest, gushiest little sap. you’re wearing a white t-shirt, huh? that reminds him of the one time chase wore a white t-shirt -- and now he’s grinning and blushing like a fool.

alright it’s late and this got rambly, but yes!! pls plot with me? i promise i’m nice and i can offer you hypothetical cookies!! i probably won’t be on the dash until tomorrow night because i have some plans ( hooray social life?? emphasis on the question marks there ).

so yeah, shoot me an message on here or hit that mfing like and i’ll come to you! i am so heckin hyped to write with all of you! x

[popularmolds]

Best rap, 2017

In 2007, I thought I was very fast. That fall, I was one of the top sophomores at the Minnesota high school cross country state championships, which, believe it or not, are very competitive as far as high school cross country state championships go. Then it was winter. There’s no indoor track season in Minnesota; I played hockey, like I had for my entire life to that point, but I also ran 60 miles a week in toques and gloves and terrible things called “wind briefs.” I got ambitious and decided that in the spring, I wanted to be the fastest 15-year-old in the state, the Midwest, maybe the country. 

But in the first week of outdoor track, in the middle of a mile repeat workout we were running on the sidewalk (there was snow on the track), I felt bones splinter. There were stress fractures up and down my left tibia. 

Every afternoon for the next twelve weeks, I had to find a ride from my high school down to a suburban YMCA, chosen because it had a reliably deserted pool. I needed to get in some sort of cardio with zero impact on my bones. If you’ve never seen someone water run, it looks like a recurring nightmare playing out under fluorescent lights: a skeletally thin person in the water, upright, making all the movements he or she would make on the track, but moving impossibly slow, back and forth, end to end. It’s like quicksand. I would sweat and strain and grit my teeth, but I was barely moving. 

A couple weeks into my muggy purgatory, my friend Collin burned me a CD of an obscure album he’d found on a Wordpress blog. It was called Brokelore and was by someone named Grip Grand––clearly from the Bay, but we couldn’t find anything else about him. 

It blew me away. I listened to it every day, to and from the Y, in headphones or out of those primitive aux hookups that plugged into the cassette decks in my friends’ cars. He sounded gruff and grizzled, but we had no idea what he looked like. (Eventually, Collin found a short interview Grip had done with a blog, but we assumed the press photo was of the blogger, not the rapper. Sorry, Grip.) 

The record’s mostly self-produced; the beats have a little grit and a lot of warmth. Grip’s voice is tough, but elastic enough to bounce and bend and let the humor through. Grip is quick and witty, but threads the record with these incredibly earnest love letters to rap: "96 Tears” is an extended lyrical exercise, “Hip-Hop Classic” is the sound of someone pounding his fist on a computer desk, searching. There’s a song with Percee P (”Paper Cup”) and a song where Grip thanks Percee P for dropping that verse (”Showtime (That’s Entertainment)”). There’s “Handle That,” which was probably conceived as a parody of popular rap styles at the time but got mutated along the way and sounds like a good-faith alien transmission; there’s distortion and vocal modulation and lines like “While you pretend to be sick like Ferris Bueller / Grip Grand drop gems like a careless jeweler.” 

But it’s called Brokelore. This was a few months before the financial collapse; this was Oakland and San Francisco and the shadow of the early tech boom. Sometimes Grip and his Rec League comrades broach this with a light touch, cashing bad checks and skirting tax forms. (One of the album’s highlights is the remix of “Poppin’ Pockets,” where Grip and A.G. (!) rap joyously about having absolutely zero money.) Then there are the graver moments: “Out of Service” is a half-dreamed conversation with a factory worker who’s in limbo at a bus stop; it’s tearjerking but never treacly. “Tomorrow” is sorrowful. 

And then there’s “Love/Drama” which––this is not an exaggeration––is one of the most deeply felt rap songs I’ve ever heard. It’s structured as a letter back to a writer who ripped his last record, Welcome to Broakland. An artist responding to criticism looks defensive––and that’s the point. In the space of a few bars, the song unspools into a catalog of Grip’s deepest fears as an artist.

“My whole albums’s a jack: “Impeach the President?”  Yo, how done is that?  Tribute to early rap? DIY ethic?  No, a piss-poor producer—take my name off the credits.”

The song wraps up with a venomous couplet:“You’re so astute brah, every minute flaw, you heard it / Can’t wait to hear your album, it must be perfect.” But he’s not brushing off the critic. “Love/Drama” isn’t about brushing off a detractor, it’s about scratching and clawing and stretching $10 in groceries for a whole week, pouring yourself into a record only for it to be...fine. The kicker, then, is that Grip Grand internalized all of that and made a masterpiece. 

I say all that to say this: I don’t know if I would have found Brokelore today. Ten years after the fact, it’s ostensibly my job to find and write criticism of rap music, including obscure releases like this. But the economics of the media industry are strange: while it seems clear that people still want to discover new music, it’s difficult to get anybody to click on articles that present it. Music discovery has moved mostly to the curated playlists at streaming sites (so, radio) and there are fewer and fewer places willing to publish full-scale album reviews for artists who are untested or unsigned. I don’t spend enough time in pools. 

Of course, there are still massive communities of rap fans who dig for new material. But as it becomes more difficult to make a living covering it––and with the collapse of the blog world, which was invaluable for fans and artists in the mid- and late-2000s––there’s less time and attention given to smaller artists. Especially the kinds of time and attention that can be turned into money. (On that count, I physically recoil imagining how much bleaker the Bay Grip rendered on Brokelore has gotten.) 

The good news is that rap is in an exceptional place right now. There are vibrant underground scenes in cities across the country. In 2018, I’m resolving to take time, stay still, and appreciate rappers who would otherwise go uncovered. 

Notes/methodology: This list, obviously, includes both songs and albums. In most of the cases where either an album or a song from it could have made my top sixty, I chose whichever entry would rank higher, i.e.- I think “The Story of O.J.” is one of the ten best rap things from this year, while 4:44 as an album would rank a couple dozen spots lower. There are exceptions. “We Ball” would probably be among my top ten entries, but I wanted to give a nod to Meek Mill’s album because it hasn’t left rotation since it came out. Similar case with Boosie: “Webbie I Remember” could easily be in my top five, but BooPac should be on everyone’s radar, even if it’s ninety minutes. Slow down.

60. YG, “Pop It, Shake It” 59. Smooky MarGielaa, “Stay 100” 58. YBN Nahmir, “Rubbin Off The Paint” 57. Freddie Gibbs –– You Only Live 2wice 56. Muja Messiah & Roc Marciano –– Saran Wrap 55. Frosty Da Snowmann, “Oh My Gawd” 54. Wiki –– No Mountains in Manhattan 53. Greg Grease –– Down So Long 52. Chris $pencer, “Shark Wrestling” 51. Chief Keef, “Can You Be My Friend” 50. P.O.S –– chill, dummy 49. 2 Chainz –– Pretty Girls Like Trap Music 48. Young Dolph, “100 Shots” 47. Roc Marciano –– Rosebudd’s Revenge 46. Bbymutha, “Roses” 45. Sahbabii, “Pull Up wit ah Stick” 44. Nef the Pharaoh, “Bling Blaow” 43. J Hus –– Common Sense 42. 21 Savage –– Issa Album 41. Cardi B, “Bodak Yellow” 40. Deniro Farrar, “Can’t Touch Me” 39. Lor Jugg & Bandhunta Izzy, “Back At It” 38. G Herbo –– Humble Beast 37. billy woods, “Police Came To My Show” 36. French Montana, “Unforgettable” f/ Swae Lee 35. Rich Homie Quan –– Back to the Basics 34. Lil B –– Black Ken 33. Nipsey Hussle, “Rap Niggas” 32. A$AP Ferg, “Plain Jane” 31. Young Thug –– Beautiful Thugger Girls 30. Migos –– CULTURE 29. Playboi Carti, “Magnolia” 28. Why Khaliq –– The Mustard Seed 27. Snoop Dogg –– Neva Left 26. C Struggs, “Go to Jesus” 25. Lor Choc, “Fast Life” 24. RJ, “Blammer” 23. Tee Grizzley, “First Day Out” 22. OMB Peezy, “Lay Down” 21. Boosie –– BooPac 20. Meek Mill –– Wins & Losses 19. Kodak Black, “Patty Cake” 18. Drakeo –– Cold Devil 17. Don Trip & Starlito –– Step Brothers THREE 16. milo –– who told you to think??!!?!?!?! 15. 03 Greedo –– Money Changes Everything; Purple Summer 03; First Night Out 14. DJ Quik & Problem –– Rosecrans 13. Nocando, “1998″ 12. Goldlink, “Crew” f/ Shy Glizzy & Brent Faiyaz 11. Mach-Hommy –– Haitian Body Odor 10. Lil Uzi Vert, “XO Tour Llif3″ 9. Jay-Z, “The Story of O.J.” 8. G Perico –– All Blue & 2 Tha Left 7. Kendrick Lamar –– DAMN. 6. Tay-K, “The Race” 5. NBA Youngboy, “No Smoke” 4. Future –– HNDRXX 3. Armand Hammer –– ROME 2. Creek Boyz, “With My Team” 1. Open Mike Eagle –– Brick Body Kids Still Daydream

[hellyeahheroes]

Characters That Need To Be In Young Justice S3, Part 1: Here Comes a New Challenger!

As The new Season of Young Justice is getting closer and closer to actually seeing the light of day, I thought of characters that would be good to see in it and, if we’ll be graced with such thing, following season. Of course what initially was supposed to be a short list simply exploded into a colossal one that will require at least few posts to cover. In this part I’ve decided to take a look not as the core cast themselves but rather characters that could in some way provide a challenge to them - be it as rival hero groups they come into conflict with for various reasons, antiheroes that supposedly have the same goals but take things too far or straight-out villains to beat. So without further delay, let us get right into it

Number Ten: Lord Havok & the Extremists

When it comes to obscure villains few things strike out like an entire supervillain team based on characters from your biggest competition. Marvel has both parodied and homaged DC multiple times with various incarnations of Squadron Supreme, while DC has the Extremists - an entire team “inspired” by iconic Marvel supervillains. They come from another world and their goal is less world domination but the extermination of heroes and domination for the protection - as their world has been destroyed, they have decided it was the heroes who were responsible. So now they aim to save another world from the same fate. By conquering it and eliminating heroes one by one.

A team of varied antagonists, at least some of which are extremely powerful, who do not play by the rules of heroes and villains game and are lead by megalomaniacal mastermind based on Doctor Doom would certainly upset the balance of power between the heroes and the Light, forcing both side to adapt or even team up to take them down before they can resume their own spy game.

Speaking of Extreme measures....

Number Nine: Manchester Black

I have mentioned it in the past that I’m not actually a fan of Superman story “What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice And American Way?” or animated movie “Superman vs the Elite” it is based on. However, I can respect the villainous potential of Manchester Black. A British thug with incredible telepathic and telekinetic powers he what would happen if you gave Jean Grey power set to Frank Castle. Only, you know, British. While he usually sticks to antagonizing Superman and obsessively trying to turn him to break his vows and start killing the villains, lately he seems to have turned towards corrupting younger generation in his image. And that’s a role that would be extremely resonant in series like Young Justice. Heroes of this world already have strayed a bit too close to certain lines, especially during the second season. Seeing how the next season will likely continue diving into spy stories in superhero world, these lines might get blurry again. Even without somebody like Manchester with his twisted black and white sense of morality whispering in your ear.

While the obvious choice would have him go after Superboy, I think he would actually play a good antagonist to Miss Martian as well. Not only is she in need for a decent telepath to challenge her since I think everyone is just done with Psimon, but she had a history of going too far with her powers or using them too recklessly, something that caused her a great deal of grief. Not only that would make her a perfect target to somebody like Black but it would make him a warning sign of what lies at the end of this road and what kind of person it could turn her into.

Fun fact: Manchester was loosely based on Jenny Sparx, leader of team the Authority from Wildstorm comics, whose characters are now not only owned by DC but a part of their Universe. One of Wildstorm’s most popular stories was the Sleeper, which featured our next spot on the list

Number Eight: T.A.O

Because when the Tactically Augmented Organism looked at life, he saw only chaos and order. And humanity's denial of chaos appalled him. So he would tear it all down and fill the whole world with chaos, if only to watch mankind cling to their illusions as they burned around them...would he destroy the world at the same time? It's certainly a possibility.

T.A.O. or Tactically Augmented Organism is an interesting villain being a human basically grew in a lab and possessing both incredibly high intelligence and a compelling voice he uses to plant ideas he wants into people’s heads. He started supposedly on the good guy’s side, but have turned out to secretly been manipulating good guys and bad guys alike into starting a war among superhumans and countless destruction, just because he could. He turns out to have an extremely misanthropic worldview and likes the idea of overthrowing existing status quo in favor of chaos. He built his own villain empire just for that purpose. This all makes him perfect an antagonist in the type of story Young Justice is operating on. He could easily have started as an ally, only to turn out to try and “spice things up” between the Team and the light. Or he could be working with the latter, as he fits their “mastermind” style like a glove. He would also provide an interesting contrast for Superboy, seeing how they both were artificially created by scientists, yet turned out as total opposites.

And if we touch upon providing a contrast, let’s stay in WIldstorm corner for a moment.

Number Seven: Apollo & Midnighter

One of the advantages of jumping to a new online service is supposed to be that Young Justice can now show more LGTBQ characters. So I say, let them put their money where their mouths are and bring in one of the more popular gay couples in DC - a pair of antiheroes, Apollo and Midnighter. Due to their background, they could fit easily into the black ops feel the show is trying to have and they would also provide a contrast to the Team in a way similar, but less extreme than Black. These guys don’t play around if they have to kill a villain, they will. But they don’t actively go trying to enforce their way on others, but that would only present a dilemma to the team - can they afford to leave these two to their own devices? Or maybe they are worth having around, in case there were lines to be crossed?

We’ll stay in Wildstorm part of DC for one more group to visit.

Number Six: The DV8

Some might be surprised I’m bringing up them over Gen 13, heroic group of teenagers on the run from evil government conspiracy. But honestly, Young Justice already had a group that fits a similar niche in their Runaways. And while it would be fun to have Gen 13 around, they are, how Warren Ellis put it, kids you look at and you know they wash their teeth three times a day. Their antagonists on the other hand....

DV8 or Deviants consist of a team of 8 superpowered teenagers - Threshold, Bliss, Frostbite, Sublime, Copycat, Powerhaus, Freestyle and Evo. What makes them different from other teen supervillain teams is that these guys are mercenaries. Working for ruthless and ambitious Ivana Baiul they take on black ops mission for whoever is paying and whatever is advancing her ambitions. And that’s what makes them so appealing - because there might be situations where they will be hired to oppose the Team but in other instances, they might have to join forces towards the same goal, at least for a while. Plus some of DV8 members had shown shades of moral ambiguity so they could have a potential to turn good.

And in case somebody would say I’m crapping on Gen 13 for being heroic, let us leave Wildstorm to go take a look at another team.

Number Five: The Movement

Created by Gail Simone and Freddie Williams II, the Movement is a team of teenage superheroes who try to take on more “grounded” problems than supervillains. The movement is a team of young activists and disfranchised - Virtue, Mouse, Vengeance Moth, Tremor, Burden, Katharsis and Rainmaker -  who, to use Gail Simone’s own words  "all have reason to be mad at the system, which hasn't protected them or even tolerated them".

And this is precisely why I want them in Young Justice. Moving to a different network and being able to tackle more mature themes is a perfect opportunity to bring in the Movement. This is a team who is mad at the system, yes, but clearly idealistic and good-natured and they help people were official services cannot. This is something that I feel is often good if not outright necessary to have in stories taking so much from the spy genre’s handbook. The Team has risked and lost a lot and even did few things they might not be proud of in defense of the status quo. It’s about time somebody showed up to make them question if the status quo is actually worth all of this as it is or if they as superheroes cannot do something to also improve it. And the Movement is a perfect team to challenge them on that level instead of some unnecessary battles.

No, that we can leave to the next position on the list

Number Four: The Blood Syndicate

Young Justice was not shy of using characters from late Dwayne McDuffie’s Milestone Media imprint - that’s where they got Icon, Rocket and Static from after all. Well, how about one of their more controversial creations, even at the time. Blood Syndicate is not a team. They’re a gang. A gang of individuals who all gained superpowers in the same incident and now band together. Consisting of several characters like Wise Son, Brickhouse, DMZ, Tech-9, Dogg, Boogieman, Aquamaria, Fade, Masquerade, Flashback, Third Rail, Oro Kwai or (I kid you not) Holocaust. While a gang and very angry at everyone for what happened to them, they could easily be used to be opponents for the Team. But they also have at least some moral ambiguity and conflicting goals and dreams and at least few could potentially turn on the side of angels, while the others...well, I see no reason why Holocaust couldn’t be a big threat on his own as he was upon leaving the Syndicate in the comics, only now working with the Light.

So far there was at best some moral ambiguity connected to most if not all of the mentioned examples. How about some very heroic group next? 

Number Three: The Justice League of China

China’s attempt at beat Americans at their own game and create their own, improved version of its most well-known superheroes resulted in a team of teenagers bearing the names of Super-Man, Bat-Man, Wonder-Woman and Flash of China. They are at heart idealistic and deeply heroic, even if still rather inexperienced. That means they not only provide contrast to the Team (double than China’s other superhero team, the Great Ten, due to being teenagers themselves) but it might be very easy to set them as rivals trying to prove themselves or have them go into conflict with the Team, would one of their missions involve messing around on Chinese territory. And they also add a bit of world building as a whole, show that it’s not only the Justice League and the Light who are in the race for domination on the superhuman scene.

Let us not leave China too soon as there is a certain another character from there I wanted to bring up.

Number Two: Lady Shiva and League of Shadows

With the death of Ras Al Ghul (assuming he’s going to stay dead as, well, this is Ras we’re talking here about) it is a perfect opportunity to bring more focus on his League of Assassins and how it adapted and developed without their immortal leader. And Lady Shiva with her more extremist offshoot of the organization, the Lague of Shadow, designed to for most exists only as an urban legend might be a very good for just that. Leading more dangerous part of the League, maybe breaking out of the Light and even turning against them, trapping the Team between the two organizations. Not to mention that Shiva herself is a deadly oponnent that deserves to be able to showcase her skill in animation.

And if we’re touching on the League of Assassins

Number One: the Demon’s Fist

Lead by Ras’ granddaughter, Mara Al Ghul, Demon’s Fist is a fairly new addition to DC Universe, yet still an interesting one. A team of superpowered children - Nightstorm, Stone, Plague and Blank - kidnapped at birth, raised and trained to be assassins and servants of Ras. They never knew they were deceived nd once they found out, turned against their former master. But how could that story play in young Justice? Maybe with Ras dead, they will aid Mara in her efforts to seize grandfather’s position for herself? Or maybe they discover the League has been using them and ask the Team to help them get out? There are multiple possibilities to consider, which is what makes this team so interesting.

If there is a character who didn’t make it to the list, fear not - this is merely part one out of at least 3 DC Unvierse is rich and ripe with characters that would make a great addition to Young Justice, a single top 10 would not do them all justice. And when you look at the final two entries of this list, you can probably guess which corner of DCU we will visit next

- Admin

[revjess-flradio]

The Top Ten Bad Horror Movies That I Love

Not ranked in terms of love, just listed.

10. Stay Alive: The Director’s Cut (2006)

This movie is not good. Not good at all. It’s a cheesy as shit, supernatural horror movie that was pushed heavily by Game Informer, simply due to its plot. The film tells the story of a video game (that is basically a Resident Evil/Doom clone on PS2) that kills you in real life if you die in-game. Few things are redeemable in this film. The biggest names in it are a post-puberty, mid-Malcolm Frankie Muniz and one of the McPoyle Brothers. The rest of the crew is just sort of there. It’s worth seeing once for sure, simply for the novelty of it. I think I love it because I watched it so much when it came out. I searched through so many Exchanges, Blockbusters, and Wal-Marts trying to find it. When I finally did, I wore the DVD out.

9. Thir13en Ghosts (2003)

This big budget horror movie, inspired by William Castle, was the first from Dark Castle Pictures. It had a decent team of producers, including super-producer Joel Silver.

It tells the story of a family who moves into a futuristic house after inheriting it from a sketchy uncle. Everything seems cool at first, but, SURPRISE! There’s a gaggle of ghosts in the basement. What follows is a ridiculous haunted house movie with some decent effects and a decent cast (Tony Shaloub, Matthew Lillard, F. Murray Abraham, etc), but also insanely stupid writing. My dad and I watched this movie once together. My sister and I watched it about 20 times in 3 months. They had a special feature on the DVD that was individual stories about each ghost, and we had each one memorized. If you’re looking for a fun time with a bad film, you really can’t go wrong with this one.

8. Bride of Chucky (1998)

This movie is, without a doubt, the beginning of the end for Chucky. Admittedly, all of the Chucky movies are stupid. Yet, this one has something about it. At least, they were smart enough to go with horror-comedy with this one. I was 5 years old when this came out and I fucking loved it.

Chucky is back, baby, and ready to walk down the aisle. Along the way, two teenagers in the same situation get taken hostage by the two dolls, and what follows is a stupid, plot-hole filled, campy mess. But, goddamn, it’s entertaining.

Going back a few years later, it’s clear that I was an idiot as a kid. The whole movie is stupid, but hey, at least it’s funny. That is the one thing it has going for it (well, that and seeing Jennifer Tilly in leather outfits). It gets bonus points for the first Chucky kill, in which Chucky takes out a guy who is, in no way whatsoever, a Marilyn Manson ripoff.

7. Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (2006)

Hey, kids? You like Snoop Dogg? You like Tales From The Crypt? Well, you’ll dig Hood of Horror. This anthology film tells three stories in the Hood of Horror, each one hosted by Da Cribkeeper himself, Snoop D-O-Double G.

Each story has an urban take on common horror movie tropes, which, admittedly, is an interesting concept. It also has a decent cast of “anything for a paycheck” actors like Ernie Hudson, Jason Alexander, and Danny Trejo. However, it is not good. It was released by Xenon Pictures, who I’ve only ever seen one other movie from which was TV: The Movie (from the other Jackass guys that aren’t Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera), which I absolutely hated. But, something about this one really stuck with me. It’s stupid for sure, but man, it’s a lot of fun.

6. Rob Zombie’s Halloween II: Unrated Director’s Cut (2009)

Once again, I’m going with the Director’s Cut because it is a better film. However, this does not make it good.

As much as I love Rob Zombie’s movies, there’s no denying that the sequel to the 2007 Halloween reimagining is definitely his worst one. He decided to add a lot of symbolism and hidden themes to a slasher film. They are certainly interesting, for sure, and it’s the reason I love it. But, there’s no denying that Rob Zombie cannot write dialogue to save his life. By focusing on the symbolism and less on the brutality that the first one was chock full of, it made the film suffer as a whole and it doesn’t feel like a sequel. If anything, it feels like some kind of weird arthouse version of Michael Myers. However, when the kills finally do happen, they are the standard brutality we have grown to expect from Rob Zombie. Plus, it seems that Rob Zombie shot his symbolism wad with his 2012 film, Lords of Salem. His latest film, 31 (2016), brought us back to brutal sadistic violence that he became known for with his Firefly family movies. Still, it’s worth seeing once.

5. Tusk (2014)

As a Kevin Smith fan, I love this movie. As a movie fan, I can admit that it is terrible.

The film inspired by a phony classified ad was made for a small budget and made less than 2/3 of its budget back at the box office. I saw it at an evening showing, the day it opened, with my wife…..and no one else. Not one single soul was in the theater besides us.

It tells the story of a podcaster who goes up to Canada and gets turned into a walrus by Michael Parks. Need I say more? Add a ridiculous Johnny Depp cameo, and you got a movie. If you don’t listen to any Smodcast network podcasts, you won’t get the movie or any of the inside jokes it contains and you aren’t expected to. You will probably hate the movie, to be honest. But, that’s okay. My wife hated it because she thought it was supposed to be serious. Then, she heard the podcast during the credits and she loved it.

4. Vampire’s Kiss (1987)

Here’s a shocker. There’s a Nic Cage film on this list that isn’t The Wicker Man (2006).

Vampire’s Kiss tells the story of a big shot at a publishing company who has a night with a neck biter and slowly goes insane, believing he is one of the undead. It is an attempt at psychological horror, but it ended up being an unintentional black comedy and it is the performance that should’ve won Cage the oscar.

This movie is campy, overacting gold. Nic Cave doesn’t chew the scenery. He rips it’s heart out, drinks the blood, cooks it up and swallows it whole. The whole movie is just him trying to one up his overacting in the previous scene. It is glorious. The movie is fucking awful, but it is glorious. Buy this movie, now. Don’t hesitate. It’s perfect for a group watch.

3. My Name Is Bruce (2007)

Bruce Campbell is a gift from the heavens. The man saved the world from the Deadite plague, not only in modern times, but in the middle ages. That being said, this movie is beyond B movie status. It was made for 1.5 million, grossed just under 200 grand at the box office, and was doomed from the get go, due to the extremely polarizing fan potential.

Bruce Campbell is recruited by a small town to fight a killer demigod who is threatening their small town utopia. It’s a super meta, super cheesy, fan service comedy horror movie that is by no means a good film.

If you don’t like Bruce Campbell, which makes you a terrorist in my book, you will not like this movie. However, since I view him as the 10th World Wonder, I fucking love this movie. It’s Bruce Campbell. Enough said.

2. Knock Knock (2015)

Keanu Reeves has such a strange film career. This is probably the best example. As much as I love Eli Roth, there’s no denying that this movie is terrible.

A devoted husband and father gets stuck in the fight for his life after he bangs two flight attendants and they decided to kill him. Along the way, we get to see so much overacting that Nic Cage would be so proud.

Keanu Reeves is the reason I love this movie. Specifically, the climax, in which he delivers a monologue in an attempt to defend himself. IT WAS FREE FUCKING PIZZA!

1. Freddy VS Jason (2003)

I fucking love this movie. As a kid, I had the entire NOES collection and had watched all the FT13s multiple times. When this was finally released in my 4th grade year, it was like Christmas. Looking back, yes, it is bad. Really bad. But, man, I love it.

The nu metal soundtrack, the one liners, the clearly-a-Jason Mewes-ripoff stoner character, the stupid fights, the thrown together story. My god, it’s fucking brilliant.

[xiumin-on-this-shit]

All My Idols Ch 13:Exception To The Rule

A few Months Later

“I said it before and I will say it again: No!”

“Charlie, why are you being so difficult?” GD sighs.

“Because this is a ridiculous conversation, you guys are not getting me an apartment, I am not moving, end of discussion.”

“Chaerin, please talk some sense into her!” Top pipes in this time, looking just as unnerved by this conversation as GD. I look to my favorite unni, looking confident and beautiful in only a pair of ripped jeans in a t-shirt, hoping for her to be on my side like normal. But from the apologetic look she is giving me I know I’m not that lucky today.

“Charlie-ah please listen to them, they are doing this because they want to keep you safe.”

I stand up and start pacing, completely annoyed with this whole situation. After they found out that my apartment had been broken into last week they have been on edge, worried it might be a fan that found out about me. I ignore that idea considering they took my TV and a few other nice appliances that I had left out but nothing with any information about me or even a picture. They have been insisting since last week for me to move into the same apartment building that they all moved into months ago after their break in. The building is owned by YG Ahjusshi so the security is amazing and is never a problem, something they want for me. I wouldn’t mind living there if it wasn’t so far from my work and the rent wasn’t so high.

“Unni, you can’t be serious!” I stomp my foot like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Look here little princess,” Unni snaps but her tone softens as she continues, “I understand you are a string independent girl, I love and admire you for it. But your safety is at risk and that isn’t something I’m okay with. You have every right to say no to this, but please for your own well being please move in. We will all sleep better knowing your home is a safe place for you to go.”

I let out a sigh before finally sitting down in my original spot in between Youngbae and GD on the couch. Youngbae rubs my back soothingly, knowing how much pride I have and my unwillingness to break down. I hate it when they buy things for me, food is one thing but expensive presents are something I never accept so they know not to even try. So for them offer something this big, they must really feel worried and suddenly I feel guilty for making them worry.

“Does it have to be here? This place has to be expensive.” I say giving up.

“Don’t worry about the price, YG will give you a great discount.” Seungri says beaming at me for finally caving.

“What about work? It’s so far away!”

They look at each other awkwardly as Unni just glares at them, “You haven’t asked her that either? Is that why you invited me over? I’m not going to be the one to convince her to do everything.”

“What now?”

Still glaring at them Unni says, “These idiots want you to become a stage hand, the person who wanders around and makes sure all the idols are in place to perform.”

“No, I can’t keep letting you guys do things like this for me! I don’t want to be a bother to any of you.”

“We would never consider you a bother, never.” Youngbae says seriously. “You are one of our closest friends, you do so much for us. You are one of the few people that actually gets less sleep then us and it’s because of us. We have you running all over Korea the least we could do is give you some place to rest that will be your own private place. And if that makes it harder for you to get too work we are just trying to think of a way to solve that problem.”

I sigh but lean over and give him a tight hug, “Thank you for caring so much. I’ll take the apartment, as long as it’s the smallest one they’ve got. And I may take the job after I talk to my boss.”

“Really?” Seungri hops out of his chair.

I nod and suddenly he is on me and without hesitation Youngbae tries his best to pry him off me.

“We already see her everyday, I don’t know why you are freaking out,” GD grumbles while he successfully helps Youngbae throw the youngest away.

Still smiling he says, “It will just be comforting knowing our little Charlie is only a few floors away at most.”

The others consider his words but don’t admit they feel the same. I look to my unni who is staring at the boys with a smile. “You boys are such good princes, just having our little princess near by can make everything better.”

Top scoffs, “Are you saying you feel different?”

“Nope,” She pops her lips on the p, “I’m much happier knowing she is going to be protected by her handsome princes in your guys’ giant castle. I will be with the rest of her knights guarding the outside.” She stands up, still giving me a teasing smile before kissing my head like a mother would. She waves as her heels click their way out the door, leaving me with my princes.

“So when am I going to be moving in?” I say with a yawn as I shift so my head is in GD’s lap and my legs resting on top of Youngbae’s. GD just smiles down at me affectionately and strokes my cheek, letting one of the others answer.

“As soon as possible, I’ll have Noona call a moving company,” Top responds as he pulls out his phone to text Unni.

“What is the schedule for today?” I ask, ever since my run in with Leo all those months ago my schedule was immediately changed so I would regrettably work less and only day shifts with a whiny Bailey but it is much better than seeing that ass again. At least it gives me more time to spend with my oppas now that I only work a few days a week compared to almost every night like before.

“There is another countdown,” Youngbae sighs.

“Oh my god,” I copy his sigh, “Now I see why Unni started using me as bait to make you go, those things are almost every weekend.”

“Tell us about it, we’ve been doing this for years!” Riri groans.

“We should get going though,” GD sighs but doesn’t motion to get up, he seems to focused on playing with my curls. I blink up at him, waiting for him to tell me to move but nothing comes from his mouth. It’s Youngbae who drags me down the couch off of GD’s lap on to his.

“Lead the way,” Youngbae gestures to the door. GD groans as he gets off the couch, Dae, Riri and Top all mumbling as they follow behind him. Youngbae and I are the last up and to the door. Pulling on my tan timberlands I follow the boys down the hall to the elevator.

After being to so many countdowns I have no problem as we sneak through the back door and are lead threw the now very familiar halls to their usual dressing room. Manager unni is already there waiting for us, she gives me a bright smile and a hug.

“You look really cute today!” She steps back and gives my outfit a once over, appreciating my new black ripped jeans. “I already called and made all of the arrangements, you won’t be needing to go back to your old apartment. Give me a day or two to have everything organized in your new one.” Without another word she moves on to the boys, who are giving me an apologetic look. I shrug it away, feeling a bit sad that I can’t say goodbye to my apartment but happy my new one is so close to theirs. “Lottie, I saw Ikon down the hall, they were looking for you.”

I look to my oppas to see if they are okay with it; they smile and nod, knowing they are going to be busy getting ready anyway. With their blessing I wander out of the room in search of my dongseangs. I don’t have to travel far but I don’t find Ikon, instead I smack into Hansol oppa. He realizes it’s me and scoops me up into a hug without another thought.

“Our princess!” He coos as he spins me around. I laugh, drawing in the attention of the rest of the group.

“Aigoo, what are you doing out here?” P-Goon asks with a smile as he pats my head, making me feel like a child.

“No one has snatched you up yet?” B-Joo teases.

“Nope,” I grin at them, “You are the first to find me today.”

Jenissi smirks, “Well aren’t we lucky.”

“When are you guys performing?”

“After three more groups, we would invite you to watch but…” Atom starts as he looks around for any of his members to finish for him.

Brave little Yano steps up, “But we go on after EXO.”

I nod.

My ‘fear’ of EXO has become common knowledge to every idol. Though only a few, Big bang, Ikon, and Lay, thankfully know the real reason. The only people who don’t know about my avoiding them is EXO themselves; that or they just choose to ignore it when I duck into other rooms or behind groups to hide. It has strangely become a thing for everyone to help me avoid them, making walls or distracting them for me to get away.

“We can hang out back stage for a little bit, I can sneak out before they come in,” I suggest, pulling Nakta and Hojoon down the hall with me. The boys don’t argue as we make our way through the building to the side of the stage. We talk for a little while the stage is quietly transitions for another group that is already waiting on the side lines. When the music starts up again the boys lead me forward so we can watch the performance. Seventeen is on and I begin the fan chants with the crowd. Topp Dogg just watches me laughing; Hansol even holds my hand and joins in the chant with me. When their performance is done they come off to the side of the stage. They smile big when they see me, each fighting for a hug.

“Noona,” Channie grins big at me, “Your chant was so loud you made me loss focus.”

“That’s what I’m here for. I noticed you missing a few steps,” I tease.

“You need to stop watching us so much, I don’t like that you can correct me!” He pouts cutely.

Mingyu pops up looking down at me from his massive height but still some how manages to look like a puppy, “Noona, how did I do?”

“You did great but you and Wonwoo need to calm down with the fan service, you’re children, remember that!” I glance over at the older boy who is just grinning like an idiot. “Where is my angel?” I look around the massive crowd of boys, trying to find a child of God himself.

“I’m here Noona,” His perfect voice rings out from behind me. Joshua is smiling down at me, a picture so pretty I’m surprised I don’t cry.

“Omo, you were so cute out there!” He just blushes.

“I thought I was your angel,” Junghan teases with a devilish smirk.

“You are just a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

He fakes hurt giving me perfect puppy dog eyes that I’ve learned to become resistant to, making him actually frown. I’m distracted by a cute girl pulling on my arm away from the group of boys. Yeri of Red Velvet grins at me, making me giggle and hug her tightly.

“My cute little Yeri!” I coo as I hug her.

“Unni! I feel like I haven’t seen you in for ever!” She steps back still holding my hands.

Joy joins our group, giving me a big smile, “We saw Unni like a week or two ago!”

“Aigoo, does that mean you didn’t miss me?” I tease the girl.

“Of course I missed you Unni!” She gets in between the younger and I to hug me.

“Ya!” Irene calls as her and the last two complete our group. “Are you guys causing trouble for our Princess?” The oldest jokingly scolds.

“No!” The two youngest snap to attention, their eyes wide with innocence.

“Good,” She gives them a once over before looking to me with a big motherly smile, her arms open wide to hug me. “How have you been?”

“Unni, it hasn’t even been two weeks.”

“That’s not what I asked you.”

I laugh, “I’ve been good, how about you lovely ladies?”

“We’ve been pretty busy, but that’s what happens when you’re a newer group,” She sighs with a shrug.

“Sorry to ruin this fun moment but we are going to have company in a few minutes,” Seungcheol whispers in my ear. I nod in understanding and it only takes a few seconds for Red Velvet to understand as well, all of the sudden becoming look out as they scan back stage for their sunbaes. Seventeen forms a shield around me, as I wave goodbye to the other groups, escorting me back to the halls. After a few turns I giggle like a school girl at the sight of Himchan walking down the hall mindlessly. I bid a farewell to my amazing escorts to run up and jump on the older man.

Even his yelp is still a deep sound and he reflexively wraps his arms behind himself to catch me, suddenly giving me a piggyback ride. He glares at me over his shoulder for a second before realization sinks in and he grins big.

“My little princess what are you doing giving your oppa a heart attack?” He teases as he continues down the hall with me on his back.

“Sorry Oppa,” I apologize as I wrap my arms around his neck, “I saw the perfect opportunity and I had to take it.”

He chuckles as he turns into their dressing room where he is greeted by a pillow in the face. I’m not surprised to find out it was thrown by an over excited Youngjae. The younger automatically bows to apologize, but Himchan already look ready to kill him. My attention is taken by the giant that approaches me from the side; I drop to the ground to hug the massive boy.

“Oh my goodness my baby is getting so tall!” I coo as I give the tall boy a once over. He smiles down cutely at me, his adorable face giving away his age. “You look thin, have you been eating properly? Youngguk oppa! Why is my baby Zelo so thin?” I snap as I scan the room for the oldest member, who is already approaching us.

“I don’t even get a greeting first?” His deep voice rumbles with a very cute gummy smile. I sigh before giving him a tight hug and a swat on the arm once we separate.

“Why is my baby so skinny? Have you not been feeding him?” I turn to Zelo before the older can answer, “Is he not feeding you enough? I told you to call Noona if you are having any problems, are you hungry now?”

The young boy grabs my cheeks and leans down with a smile on his cute face, “Noona I am fine, thank you.” He pecks the top of my head before letting me go.

“Aigoo,” I swat at him, “I’m not a child.”

They all laugh but Daehyun speaks first, “Aw but your height begs to differ.” He pats my head.

“If you guys are going to be rude I’m going,” I puff as I turn on my heel to head toward the door. Just as I’m about to step out all of BTS comes busting in slamming the door close behind them. “What the hell?”

Jin raises his brow at me, “First off, watch the pretty little mouth of yours.” I snap my mouth close and give a small apologetic bow. “Secondly there was a change in the schedule since one of the EXO members was late. He is heading this way and we were one our way to come find you.”

“Who is it?” I ask undeniably curious, though the anxiety in my chest tells me not even to think about it.

“I think it’s Lay,” Suga answers.

As fast as the anxiety appeared it is gone replaced with butterflies, “Lay oppa?” I say happily.

“Ugh why did you tell her it was him?” Jimin whines as I push passed them to the door.

Suga shrugs, “I forget he’s the exception to her fear.” I don’t hear the rest of the conversation as I speed walk down the hall to find Lay before he finds the rest of his group. As Suga said, Lay is the exception to my ‘fear’, in fact he has kicked almost all of my other favorites in the ass to get closer to the top of my list. I love all of my oppas, unnis, and dongseangs but it would be a lie to say I don’t have favorites. Big bang are on top no without question, followed by Ikon, BTS and Seventeen, after that everyone else is pretty equal.

At the end of the hall I see Lay turning the corner to start walking towards me. His eyes lock with mine and he automatically smiles, his dimples showing strong, making me smile in return. But his smile doesn’t last long, he looks over his shoulder as Suho turns the corner. I stop in my tracks at the sight of the older man, my heart debating on whether is should stop or pound out of my chest. He looks absolutely amazing in neatly ironed slacks and a matching black button up, I mean god damn. Even though I’m comfortable with Lay, him standing there next to Suho looking just as good in about the same outfit I want jump them, there I said it.

“Charlie-ah,” Lay says as he reaches me, I am far to lost in my own slightly dirty thoughts to realize both he and Suho are now in front of me. He puts a hand on my shoulder, rubbing it soothingly.

“Charlie?” Suho repeats cutely. I’m too dumbstruck to say anything right away.

Lay looks from me to Suho debating on whether he should explain both my identity and my sudden statue like behavior, “Charlie, the princess.”

Suho’s eyes go wide and suddenly he takes a step back and bows deeply, “It’s an honor to meet you.”

“Oh no,” I say finally snapping out of my daze, “No need to be so polite, you’re older I should be the one bowing.” I match his bow.

“Both of you stop,” Lay says as he makes both of us stand up strait. Neither of us could look at each other head on, only able to do small glances, each noticing the others blush. Lay has never looked so amused in his life. “Will you both stop being so awkward?”

“Lay oppa,” I swat at him, “No need to be rude.”

“I’m not being rude little one, we are just kind of rushing so I would like to get all of the awkwardness out of the way so if you ever run into the rest of EXO while I’m not there, there will be someone else to help you out. So,” He pulls Suho and I even closer together, “be friendly.”

If only it was that easy.

“Lay, the princess obviously is uncomfortable with the idea so lets not force her,” Suho sounds upset as he tries to pull away from Lay. I feel guilty at the thought of Suho thinking I don’t like him or something, when it’s the exact opposite.

“I’m not uncomfortable with it Suho oppa,” I say shyly as I grab his arm keeping him from pulling away. He stares at me with wide eyes, an expression that makes me giggle.

“If you are sure, we can become closer,” His awkwardness is so adorable I forget I’m talking to EXO’s leader.

“I would like nothing more,” I can’t help but smile at him. Lay leans down and whispers in my ear.

“If only you could be like this with the rest of EXO, especially a certain hyung,” He leans away with a innocent smirk on his lips.

[fuckyeahoutsidexbox]

Show of the Week - Tekken Tag Tournament 2

First Show of the Week giffed and transcribed! Transcript is under the cut, please tell me if there are any mistake so I can edit them!

[sounds from the game Tekken Tag Tournament 2]

 (Andy)

Hello everyone and welcome to show of the week. Mike, what have you been up to this week of which this is the show of.

 (Mike)

I’ve been on the Borderlands 2 skill tree calculators on borderlands2.com working out how I’m gonna level up my character.

 (Andy)

You’ve seemed to have put all your points into something called gun lust.

 (Mike)

…Yeah it was filled out like that when I got here.

 (Andy)

What’s in this folder?

 (Mike)

Umm… give me my laptop back.

 (Andy)

With… pleasure. So, this week we’re all about Tekken Tag Tournament 2 which is out today if you’re watching on Friday.

 (Mike)

Tekken Tag Tournament 2 or TTT2 as it’s known in some places is the… [interrupted]

 (Overhead Voice)

Get ready for the next battle!

 (Andy)

What was that?

 (Mike)

Uh it said get ready for the next battle… Um but obviously, I’m already ready for the next battle.

 (Andy)

I’m not ready for the next battle. These aren’t my battle shoes.

 (Mike)

I’ll tell you what, I’ll stall for time. Uh, you have exactly as long as it takes me to read out the entire character roster of Tekken Tag Tournament 2 in alphabetical order. Go.

 (Andy)

Got it.

 (Mike)

Tekken Tag Tournament 2 is the eight game in the venerable Tekken fighting games series and its accumulated a lot of great characters as its gone along. As a result, the character roster for Tekken Tag Tournament 2 is as long and bonkers as an extended remix of the Dizzee Rascal song “Bonkers”. So here they are in alphabetical order: Alex, Alisa Bosconovitch, Anna Williams, Armor King II… [fades out]

 [sounds from the game Tekken Tag Tournament 2]

 (Mike)

Tekken Tag Tournament 2 has a lot more going for it then a roster of 50 plus fighters. In it you select two characters then knock seven bells out of your opponent’s tag team with whatever flashy combo strings, throws, juggles and tag combos as you can muster. Maybe you’d gathered as much from the name. If you have eyes for only one fighter, by the way, you don’t have to tag in a second. You can pick just your favourite and then go up against your adversary’s team with the health of two fighters.

 [sounds from the game Tekken Tag Tournament 2]

 (Mike)

Tekken Tag Tournament 2 plays a lot like Tekken 6. It holds onto that game’s bound mechanic, for instance, with which you can smack a fool into the floor and bounce him as part of your juggle. But there’s plenty that’s new as well including fight lab, a tutorial suite with a generous helping of fun. It stars Combot, a cyborg with a bucket for a head and features mini-game style matches in which you dodge sushi and pizza pelted at you by a tubby man in a yellow jumpsuit, for instance.

 [Snoop Dogg rapping in background]

 (Mike)

Also, in Tekken’s time honoured tradition of being barmy, rapper Snoop Dogg appears as a pre-order special only guest in his own gaudy stage, sat on a throne, overseeing the battle like an emperor at the Roman Coliseum. Think about that, that’s mad, isn’t it? It’s as mad as if Snoop Dogg decided he was gonna stop being a dog and start being a lion. And also make reggae music.

 (Snoop Dogg)

It’s not that I wanna become Snoop Dogg on a reggae track. I wanna bury Snoop Dogg and become Snoop Lion.

 (Mike)

Oh… right. And it’s exactly for madness like this that Tekken Tag Tournament 2 is our game of the week.

 (Mike continuing the list)

Lars Alexandersson, Lee Chaolan, Lei Wulong, Leo Kliesen, Lili de Rochefort… [interrupted]

 (Andy)

Right, back, ready.

 (Mike)

Oh, brilliant, made it.

 (Overhead Voice)

Get ready for the next… [interrupted]

 (Mike)

Yeah, we get it buddy.

 (Andy)

Wait, so we have to battle each other.

 (Mike)

Yeah, apparently so. And in the style of Tekken Tag Tournament 2 as well.

 (Andy)

Why? What’s in it for us?

 (Mike)

Apparently, it’s for the entertainment of Namco Bandai Limited.

 (Andy)

Oh, okay. That’s fair enough.

 [Mike yells]

 [fighting noises from Tekken Tag Tournament 2]

 (Jane)

Hey, um, you’re making a racket in there. What’s going on?

 (Andy)

Uh… we’re fighting each other in Tekken Tag Tournament 2 style. Mike just knocked me through here into the next stage of our multi-tiered battle arena.

 (Jane)

Okay, right. And why?

 (Andy)

Uh, a disembodied voice told us to.

 (Jane)

Andy, if a disembodied voice told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?

 (Andy)

No…

 (Overhead Voice)

Jump off that bridge!

 (Andy)

Are you sure? It’s really high up.

 (Overhead Voice)

I don’t have all day!

 (Andy)

Alright.

 (Andy)

So, what have you been up to this week?

 (Jane)

Oo, I found a DDR machine on the Boardwalk map in Modern Warfare 3.

 (Andy)

Ah cool. Is it playable?

 (Jane)

Yes…

 [multiple gun shots]

 (Andy)

I can get thrown out of the arcade for that.

 [Jane makes agreeing noises]

 (Jane)

Anyway, I’m done here. Do you wanna tag me in?

 (Andy)

Yeah, sure.

 [hand slapping noise]

 (Overhead Voice)

Round 2, fight!

 (Andy)

So, while I’ve got you guys here, I want to talk to you about Tekken characters. Now as Mike already covered, Tekken Tag Tournament 2 has approximately 16 thousand playable characters but that’s not even the end of it.

 [fighting noises from Tekken Tag Tournament 2]

 (Andy)

We need to get this place soundproofed. Yes, according to our sister site BG 24/7, industrious people on the internet, intent on squeezing secrets out of Tekken Tag Tournament 2 to create delicious Tekken secret juice, have discovered 6 additional characters on the disc. First up is Thin Bob. As you may be aware, Bob is a pretty hefty guy, but his Tekken 6 ending shows him losing a load of weight for no reason. Now you can play as Bob’s slimmed down alter ego. Well, hello.

 [frustrated noises from the character “Thin Bob”]

 (Andy)

Now according to my Tekken research this is Sebastian, Lili’s frail and elderly butler who will presumably polish his opponents to death in an exciting first for fighting games. The next character found on the disc is Miharu Hirano, a character who was originally a palette swap or alternate colour version of Ling Xiaoyu in Tekken 4. She’s a high school girl so her character portrait is her in a tiny bikini, obviously… Here we have series’ staple Violet also known as Lee Chaolan in the world’s most unconvincing disguise of a wig and some sunglasses. Here’s a quick test. Here’s a picture of Jane. Now see if you identify this person on screen right now. Well done, you’re smarter than everyone in the Tekken universe. Next up in this roster of terrifying and physically imposing characters is a 96-year-old scientist, Dr Bosconovitch. He created Roger and Alex as well as the prototype Jack unit so maybe he knows something about fighting though, right, maybe, ah whatever. Finally, we have a nude woman covered in purple goo. Usually you have to pay a lot of money to see that. She’s called Unknown and you might remember her from the original Tekken Tag Tournament. Oh, she also has a terrifying wolf spirit growing out of her back for details. So these characters are apparently already on the disc but unlike Capcom’s model of charging for this content, which understandably gets gamers pretty annoyed, these characters will most likely be free if series’ director Katsuhiro Harada is to believed as he’s come out publicly against such practices in the past. And no one wants to argue with that guy, believe me.

 (Mike)

Well it seems we’re pretty evenly matched.

 (Jane)

Yeah, I know right. I am exhausted.

 (Mike)

Just as well as it’s time for the comments. This is the bit where we share your comments across the site, YouTube, Facebook, twitter, this rock with a note wrapped round it that someone threw through the window. The answer being yes we do like our legs not broken thank you very much.

 (Jane)

Right and remember we read all the things you write in all of those places so please do keep it coming. Over on twitter Neil Allchin tweets at us about Joe Danger 2: The Movie which is out on XPLA today and he writes “The 1st game was so much fun, such a happy game, my 5-year-old adores it!”.

 (Mike)

And somehow his scores are better than mine. Anyway, Sam Williamson comments on the site itself “I’m concerned this game might be a bit busy visually. The original is pretty much the best modern Sonic game, which is somewhat ironic as it looks like The Movie could be following in that series’ missteps of erring towards spectacle over readability.”.

 (Jane)

It’s not a problem we’ve had while playing but there is a free demo if you want to try before you buy.

 (Mike)

How? He’s like, he’s 5 years old.

 (Jane)

Let it go. Finally, terrifyingly titled YouTube commenter the brutality gaming explains why Counter Strike GO is easier on the console than on PC. He says “The reason why it’s easier on consoles is that less console players have played counterstrike (on any platform) so won’t be familiar with the way the game plays and the maps layouts.”.

 (Mike)

Hmm, if you’re playing CS:GO at the moment, let us know in the comments in a totally unscientific survey. Have you already played Counterstrike on PC or is this your first time striking counters?

 (Jane)

I struck the counter once. I was dissatisfied with the service in a Nando’s.

 (Mike)

Alright, I’m tagging out now. You can tell it to my partner.

 (Jane)

Okay well that’s it for Show of the Week. We’re off to further hone our TTT2 skills, thanks for joining us and we’ll see you… [fades off] I thought you were sending on your partner.

 (Mike)

I’m a palette swap.

 (Jane)

Argh that is so lazy. Go. Yeah, you better run.

 [Mike sits back down]

 (Jane)

That’s just you in a green wig now.

 (Mike)

No! I’m an entirely original character! I’m Verdant, mysterious child of nature… ah

[dippedanddripped]

Celebrity endorsement deals have always been a way for brands to bring a bold spotlight on a product. But lately the deals seem to be bigger, more strategic and come with some serious financial positioning for the people involved.

Superstars are getting savvy. This means not simply being the face of a product, but banking on their names and business acumen to spin off a company. Instead of needing to land a spokesperson deal, celebrities can simply launch their own product or company and sell directly to their own fanbase. Rihanna in particular this year showed that her status could carry an entire fashion house — and make history in the process.

While businesses may be used to competing with other stores in their niche, the celebrity retailer is becoming a force to be reckoned with. They have name recognition, financial power and — not to be underplayed — social media followings that give them a direct line to their potential customers.

Here are a few pop culture figures who made big moves in retail this year:

Rihanna continues to disrupt everything

It's been the year of Rihanna.

In May, LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton partnered with the international superstar to create a new fashion house named Fenty, making Rihanna both the first woman to create an original brand and the first woman of color to launch a fashion house with the conglomerate.

Then she turned the lingerie world upside down. Her Savage x Fenty brand's New York Fashion Week show was made available to Amazon Prime subscribers. The resulting show received overwhelming acclaim, with people making broad claims about how the brand was in the midst of reinventing the concept of the lingerie show — a spot once ruled by retail rival Victoria's Secret. While Victoria's Secret's future appears rocky at best, the lingerie market is in the middle of a massive awakening that aims to accept a wide variety of body types, races and genders, with Savage x Fenty playing a key part.

Most recently, the Fenty Beauty brand launched a flagship store on Alibaba's Tmall Global, where it sells over 200 products as part of a larger expansion into Asia.

Outside of retail, Rihanna is prospering, too. She was just named the world's richest female musician, although much of her fortune comes from her partnership with LVMH, according to Forbes.

Snoop Dogg becomes a minor investor in Klarna

Retailers are becoming more creative when it comes to frictionless payment options, particularly with consumers paying in installments.

European fintech company Klarna has been making moves in retail by offering buy now, pay later services to 170,000 merchants in 17 countries. Fast-fashion retailer H&M a little over a year ago invested $20 million in the business and companies including Rue21, Toms and Asos have followed suit.

What was completely unexpected, though, was Snoop Dogg becoming a shareholder in the company. He also became the spokesperson of the company's "Get Smooth" marketing campaign, in which he was named "Smooth Dogg."

"I've been looking for an opportunity to expand my tech investment portfolio to Europe and seeing the way Klarna operates and how they challenge the status quo, I think it's a match made in heaven," Snoop Dogg said in a statement at the time.

Klarna CEO Sebastian Siemiatkowski said of the partnership, "Snoop is not only a rap legend, but also a successful businessman, with a genuine interest in tech, retail and e-commerce."

Lady Gaga launches beauty on Amazon

While Amazon has been pushing further into the beauty space, its primary beauty coup this year came in the form of Lady Gaga. Hype around July's Prime Day culminated in the reveal that beauty products from the singer's new company, Haus Laboratories, could be pre-ordered during the annual sales event.

The tie-up was strategic on Amazon's part, which also this year announced Amazon Professional Beauty, an e-commerce offering for stylists, barbers and estheticians where users must provide a professional license prior to being able to shop the platform. It's a move that positions Amazon in direct competition with Sally Beauty and Ulta as a solution for busy professionals.

Shoppers can currently purchase a variety of eye and lip products (and a Face Masque Armor Sticker) ranging in price from $16 to $49 on both Amazon and HausLabs.com. "We want you to love yourself, and it is our mission to spread kindness, bravery, and creativity by providing tools for self-expression and reinvention," the company says in a statement about its mission.

Amazon was recently named as a top online destination for purchasing beauty products in a study by Stella Rising, with Ulta and Sephora tied at second place.

Kim Kardashian takes over shapewear

Kim Kardashian's play into the shapewear market got off to a rocky start. In July, she revealed via social media that she was launching a new undergarment collection, dubbed Kimono Solutionwear. The product line was to have items in sizes XXS to 4XL and come in nine different shades, thus appealing to a broad range of races and body types.

The name, however, didn't go over so well.

Backlash came quickly, with many people stating that the name kimono was appropriated from Japanese culture. It even drew ire from the mayor of Kyoto, Japan, who implored her to rethink the company name. After a quick retreat, Kardashian decided to change the brand to be called Skims Solutionwear. The shapewear brand sold out within minutes of its September launch, landing around $2 million in sales, according to Women's Wear Daily. The company has since announced its second loungewear line, the Cotton Collection, which went on sale on Tuesday.

In addition to her shapewear venture, Kardashian is also involved in a joint project to sell secondhand apparel. The company, Kardashian Kloset, allows shoppers to purchase items directly from the wardrobes of both the Kardashian and the Jenner families. The move may prove to be particularly lucrative. Resale has grown 21 times faster than the retail apparel market over the past few years, and it is forecast that the segment will reach $51 billion by 2023.

Gwenyth Paltrow quietly expands her empire

Despite continuing controversy, Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop lifestyle brand is rapidly expanding in multiple industries, including in the retail space.

The company has three permanent shops (its Lab shops are in L.A., New York City and London), has been experimenting with pop-ups and now has beauty and wellness products in over 40 locations across the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. Recent reports have indicated that the company is spreading to other locations, too. The San Francisco Chronicle announced that a Lab boutique was opening in November and a goop pop-up launched in September in Nashville.

This summer, Goop partnered with Mastercard and Next Retail Concepts on an "immersive" e-commerce concept in Canada, per a Mastercard press release. The platformed allowed shoppers to virtually navigate through a 3D version of Toronto's goop MRKT concept in order to "interact with their favorite goop products, and engage with digital content."

Earlier this year, Variety discovered that Goop landed a docu-series deal with Netflix that will focus on physical and spiritual wellness. Goop also will be producing a podcast in partnership with Delta Air Lines.

[ggdbshoponline-blog]

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[phawareglobal]

PH Awareness Film - phaware® interview 250

In our 250th episode, phaware.global co-founders Steve Van Wormer and Marie Rand reveal a "breathtaking" new PH Awareness short film project with the film's director and producer, Elisabeth White from RooAndKanga Productions.

Steve:              Welcome to I'm Aware That I'm Rare, the phaware® podcast. My name is Steve Van Wormer, president and co-founder of phaware global association. Welcome to our 250th episode of the phaware podcast. Today, we've got a very special conversation lined up for our 250th episode. I'll be joined by one of our fellow co-founders here at phaware, Marie Rand, and an award-winning director and producer, Elisabeth White. We're going to talk about a special project we've been working on for quite a while here at phaware, a live-action short film project that's going to take pulmonary hypertension awareness to another level. Without further ado, here's my conversation with Elisabeth and Marie.

Marie:              Hi. I'm Marie Rand, and I am the managing director and co-founder with Steve Van Wormer and John Hess of phaware global association, and I am the mother of a PH patient who was the first person to undergo major heart surgery using the first drug in clinical trials in 1994. Her name is Chloe. I spend my time helping raise awareness and working with Steve and John to develop technology for pulmonary hypertension. Sadly, we lost Chloe in 2006. We work together at phaware in effort to do projects that are out of the box and differently oriented, so that we can raise awareness in innovative ways. This podcast today is about one particular project that we're working on.

Elisabeth:         My name is Elisabeth White, and I am a film director and producer. I've been living in Los Angeles seven years now. I love working with organizations. I've worked with international charities such as Ronald McDonald House and Amnesty International, and now I love working with you guys. I think www.phaware.global is just something amazing.

Steve:              One of the very first things we did as an organization when we formed over five years ago was to put a proposal together to do innovative things, one of which was to do a film of some sorts, whether it was a documentary or a short film beyond say a PSA.

Marie:              With that, we at phaware discussed many options and directions that we could take with this potential film project, and we ultimately landed upon doing a piece that was not documentary, but fictional, allowing us the ability to develop characters and [show] the multiple sides of the human condition in regard to somebody who has a disease. I think that we achieved this really beautifully with this piece, because we are able to show the outward-facing side of a patient or a person with the disease and the inner side of them and how they're feeling, which is often is very different than what they're portraying to the world. We find this an important thing to show, because it helps our patients. We are giving them a piece that they can share with other people that enables them to speak about who they are and what they're feeling. I have found with this piece that it's very alarming to people at first to really see a vision of what a patient is feeling like inside. It's the first time I think people really react to what they believe the patient's feeling. The closest someone who doesn't have the disease has come to saying, "Oh, I think I get that."

Elisabeth:         When you guys came to me to direct and produce this film, I honestly didn't even know what pulmonary hypertension was and what people that have PH are going through. For me as a director and to see and feel these visions, it was very surprising and heartbreaking. We took a diverse group of PH teenagers. They come together, and we see their journey through friendship and self-discovery, and what these teenagers, what these young people are going through. First of all, through their teenage years, and second, fighting this disease. It is actually a secret disease, because when you have PH, you don't really see it. I think we did an amazing job. When people with PH and just ordinary people watch this, we can approach awareness and especially what they're going through, these teenagers.

Marie:              As I said, my daughter Chloe passed away from pulmonary hypertension in 2006, and I have four other children Liz, Zack, Ava, and Elijah, who are all very committed to the pulmonary hypertension community. They have a deep love and great compassion for people who are ill. When we were talking to Elisabeth about casting the production, my son Zack happens to be an actor who started on Broadway when he was nine years old and has done TV and film. He became a part of the production for multiple reasons. One is because he is very well versed with the pulmonary hypertension community. He also wanted to honor Chloe and be part of the filming and production so that we could be certain that we had the emotion of pulmonary hypertension patients. In addition to that, my daughter Ava joined in. She is going to college for sound engineering and design. She was on location working behind the scenes, thanks to Elisabeth, learning with an amazing sound technician. My other kids were there as well, some playing extras. It was really wonderful for us as a family to be so involved in the piece, and Elisabeth was really instrumental in wanting to pull that all together and having our family be there to help bring this piece to life.

Steve:              What's a beautiful thing is we have an award-winning director behind this project, and because I see it on Instagram and social all the time some of the accolades you're getting. Can you tell the listeners what some of those projects were?

Elisabeth:         Well, we did a music video with Snoop Dogg and C-Tru. We've won quite a few awards with it. It's called California Party, and we've won a lot of awards, because it's about diversity. I love no matter what projects I'm doing, like next month, I'll be going Indonesia also to direct a feature film. As a filmmaker, you need to bring awareness. You need to bring diversity that people visually understand. No matter if it's good, bad, sad or happy, people understand what humans are going through in a daily life. That's what we're trying to bring to this film that people understand what teenagers (and not even just teenagers). I mean, you [can] get PH as a child or as an adult. I went to one of your events a couple of weeks ago, and I spoke to other people, and I met this wonderful woman. She was, I think, in her 40s or 50s, and she just discovered a couple years ago that she had pulmonary hypertension. That's why I love working with organizations, and I want to bring awareness no matter if it's music or film.

Steve:              Speaking of music, many of the music tracks in this film are attributed to yourself, and maybe tell us a little bit about your past in music, Elisabeth.

Elisabeth:         My first love to the art world still is music. I'm a singer/songwriter. I got signed when I was 18 years old with BMG in Germany. I've released five albums. I've toured around the world with Lenny Kravitz, Deep Purple, performed with Brian May, Simple Minds, many, many artists. I was very fortunate, and sold a lot of albums. I was living in London, and I came to United States through Universal Music, but I was always a passionate filmmaker through my music developing music videos. Suddenly, bands came up to me and said "hey," and record companies, "Hey, could you direct our music video?" That's how I started to film. Ever since then, I just love being a part in the film world, as well.

Steve:              I think another cool piece at least for me is many of the artists and collaborators we've been working with since the inception of phaware (and even earlier), whether it be graphic designers or sound people and editors have been involved in this project, which we're very excited about. It's lovely to see the evolution of that, and to that end when we were cutting [the film] together, Elisabeth was always mindful of saying, "Do we understand PH, because we want the viewer to really connect with that?" So early on, the very first thing you see is some facts about the disease. While we were [editing], we're like, "Well, let's get more patient voices involved.” Something that I'm personally really thrilled that we have in [the film] is many years ago, I made a series of PSAs [public service announcements] with a number of children raising awareness for PH specifically in pediatric patients. My son Lucas, who is a voice actor in his own right and a number of other kids were cited in them, whether it be our partner John Hess’ son Iain Hess, Maddie Bonpin, who was the first patient I ever met. She was six months old. Joel Belt and a couple other patients. We tracked all these patients down and used those kids, [who are] young adults now, to voice these facts to really ground this as you launch into this movie. It was a team collaboration community project. I'm just thrilled how it's come together.

Elisabeth:         It doesn't matter if it's music or film. There's always a collaboration between many, many people. It's just not, "I directed or I produced it." No, it's a collaboration on this project of like 100 people. The key to success is to have just a great team, and I'm so lucky to have phaware. You guys were always behind our back, and I couldn't have done this project without you guys, as well, because I just needed the fact and the personal touch of each and one of you. You've lost a child [Marie], and I know Steve has a child with PH, and John has a PH child who just had a lung transplant. So, it was a very educational experience for me and very heartwarming.

Marie:              I think it's a really important to note the idea of collaboration and the importance of collaboration because as I said, my children and I were on location, and I can't even count the number of times Elisabeth and/or Peter [Lugo from Roo and Kanga Productions], would come to me and say, "Is this accurate? Is this what you would be seeing in a PH patient?" But knowing that I had lived for 13-and-a-half years with Chloe being a patient, and it was really important to both Elisabeth and Peter that they were collaborating at all times, making sure that what was happening was accurate. In post-production, it became even more of that. That got elevated to a different level. It was agreed upon early on that this was a collaborative process. That's what we needed to do. We needed to work together, and thankfully, we did that and came up with a really good product using the talents and skills of a lot of really creative people and people who are super passionate about this project, Steve being one of them. His son, Lucas has PH, and his background is that he works in the industry and has for a very long time. I watched as I was there on location and then what happened afterwords was Steve picking everything up with Elisabeth and Peter and moving forward with it in a way to produce something really spectacular.

Steve:              I'm more of a post-production person, so I loved the idea when we would play around with scenes and, "Hey, where could we move this?" We moved things around, and we would talk about different ways to get into [scenes] and get out of something and how to reveal certain points. So that was great.

Elisabeth:         Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Steve:              One thing I want to note, tragically a person who was an actor in the film just recently passed, and maybe Elisabeth, if you want to talk about that, because you cast him, and I just wanted to make sure we give a shout out about that.

Elisabeth:         Yes, unfortunately, Clement von Frankenstein our “Dr. Brooks” passed away last week. He had a heart attack. He was a huge fan of this project, and it went very close to him, especially working with teens and just listening to all the stories. On set, I know Marie was always talking to Clement, as well. He took it very personal, his role. I know that he was very sick. He had diabetes, and he had heart problems, and for him, he'd said to me that he is so thankful to do this and be a part of this project and to bring awareness. Clement, thank you so much. I'm sure you're listening wherever you are, and thank you so much for bringing this amazing performance that you gave us. Everybody will see it on the silver screen, and yeah, it was amazing. I'm actually very heartbroken that he's not here, but I went to the hospital. He was in a coma. I went to the hospital to see him, and I played his scene, so he could see it before he passed away.

Marie:              We did a screening of this [film] with an industry partner. The intent was to get feedback, and the feedback was both enormously helpful to us and extremely insightful. As I listened to the responses of people, and I happened to be in the room during the viewing, they were very taken aback. It was jarring to them to see PH be portrayed with such realness and more so than they imagined what a pulmonary hypertension patient may be feeling. As the piece progresses, there's a shift. Towards the end, it becomes somewhat lighter, and their response was (and I think this is a really important thing). It's often necessary to push the viewer to the point of some discomfort, so that they really feel the sensation of what's happening. Then as you bring the piece around, you lighten it so that they don't have to feel that pressure for too long, and yet there is. I mean, literally pulmonary hypertension is about pressure. It's about elevated pressure in the lungs. So, as they were explaining to me that they were feeling the pressure of like being pushed upon because it was difficult to watch in regard to that's being what a PH patient is feeling. I thought, "Well, that's exactly what we were trying to capture." We were trying to give them the sensation of, in essence, taking your breath away in a different way than what happens to our patients, but still taking the breath away. We got amazing feedback, but that worked really beautifully.

Steve:              This was an industry crowd that works in the pulmonary hypertension space, mind you, so these are the people that are on the front lines every day with clinical trials and on the pharmaceutical front. So, it was interesting to hear some of the comments that motivated them to work harder in the work that they're doing on behalf of these patients at the same time.

Elisabeth:         Still even though it was this discomfort, we still have a comedic relief, which is important, because not everything in life is bad. I always say, "Life is a complicated comedy.” It sounds very dark, but through PH and what you guys are doing as an organization, and me talking to some of your patients at that event, they feel they're not alone. They have a community to reach out to, who could help who, what doctors. That was for me very uplifting and to see all this and what you guys are doing. It's amazing.

Steve:              What's interesting with the piece, as well, is there's a multitude of characters that are all suffering from this disorder, and they are all masking it in different ways or hiding it in different ways. They're keeping it internalized.  One might be outwardly angry about it or might be outwardly optimistic about it or whatever. We all have these masks that we're putting on too, so I think that was executed well by the actors. It was executed well in the edit and in the direction. We're just happy to take a new trajectory out there on the advocacy and awareness front, and hopefully enlighten more people about PH.

Marie:              As it is with any creative effort when you work this hard on something together. As Elisabeth said, she's learned so much about pulmonary hypertension. She's met patients. She's met caregivers. She went into a whole world that she had never seen before and has really attached herself to this. That's the brilliance of working in this industry is that when we all work together and collaborate the way that we did, we really facilitate change, and that was our effort here.

Steve:              What I get from this, hopefully, and I hope you both agree, is there's no shortage of stories to tell whether it be in a podcast or whether it be on the big screen. We'll endeavor to tell more intricate stories about this rare disease that impacts so many people around the world.

Marie:              I don't know if everybody knows that three-and-a-half years ago or so, you came up with the idea of this podcast series. Steve came to John and me and said, "I have this idea, and I'd like to give it a try." We are now on the 250th episode of a podcast series that literally was a glimmer in your eye, and it now downloads somewhere between 10 and 20,000 downloads per month on every platform that exists. We spent a great deal of time with this particular piece, with other creative things that we have done together, we’ve chosen content together, and we've spoken about which physicians or patients or whatever we've done to work on this together. You have been taken that with another team of people that nobody knows is really behind the scenes who are longtime co-workers of yours and friends of yours that help us create this every day. We are getting the message out on a broad scale about pulmonary hypertension in a way that’s never been done before globally. I hope that everybody knows the amount of work that you put into making that happen every day, because I'm not sure people do. I'm also not sure that people understand the number of conferences we go to and how many meetings we attend and how deeply immersed we are in facilitating change, because we're in it for the cure, and we always will be. We are always thinking about patients and their quality of life and what's next for them.

Steve:              Marie, Elisabeth, thank you so much for joining us today.

Marie:              I'm Marie Rand, and I'm aware that I'm rare.

Elisabeth:         I'm Elisabeth White, and I'm aware that I'm rare.

Steve:              To learn more about our phawareness short film, go to our website at www.phaware.global, or follow us on social at @phaware. Thank you so much for following us for 250 episodes. We've got so many more stories to tell, so much more medical education, and great conversations from all around the world. My name is Steve Van Wormer, and I'm aware that I'm rare.

Learn more about pulmonary hypertension and our PH Awareness short film at www.phaware.global  Sign up to be notified about upcoming screenings, film release details & trailer updates.

Follow us @phaware on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube & Linkedin Engage for a cure: www.phaware.global/donate #phaware #ClinicalTrials @antidote_me rooandkanga

Listen and View more on the official phaware™ podcast site

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‘Martha Knows Best’ Is Not Great. It’s Not Even a Good Thing.

So, it’s come to this.

As a nation, we are so starved for American garden programming that we are willing to accept that a woman worth over $620 million dollars, stuck for 82 days on her 153-acre estate in Bedford, NY; with her gardener, one of her housekeepers, and one of her drivers; and joined as needed by groundskeepers and their foreman, is going to fill that need and leave us hungry for another season of down-to-earth gardening advice.

So starved, that we are willing to accept HGTV promos that tell us that this immaculately dressed and fully made-up celebrity, sans sweat, sans grimy hands, and sans, apparently, a production assistant to create some small illusion of same, is relatable; and “puts the G back in HGTV.”

So starved, that we are willing to overlook her frequent – and historical – transposition of the pronouns “I” and “they” when discussing the nitty-gritty of projects undertaken on that 153-acre estate.

So. Starved.

Six episodes worth of gilded crumbs. And I’m afraid this gardener has lost her appetite.

It’s not about the money…

Perhaps the best way to launch into my review [and accompanying visual aids] of the first season of HGTV’s Martha Knows Best, (which I watched in its entirety after Susan’s recent review here) is to make it perfectly clear that I have no problem with the [legal] accumulation of wealth.

What wrestling a tiller really looks like.

I have no problem, as it were, with the wealthy.

You earned it. You spend it.  Martha Stewart is not just an extraordinary business woman, but a talented creative with an expert eye sharpened over many years.

She also has the genius to recognize, nurture, and promote that spark in other creatives.

If she insists that the 1000+ containers on her property be of the same color family (stone, concrete or marble), and never wishes to see an artistic vegetable in a flower arrangement, and lines utilitarian pathways to peacock enclosures with cut blocks of granite, who am I to criticize her from enjoying the whims that whacking great wads of cash can indulge?

I’ll have to tell my insanely talented friend Louisa Zimmermann-Roberts at Thanksgiving Farms in Frederick, MD, that her summer arrangement of Swiss chard, sweet pea, red raspberries, grapes eggplant, okra, chives, black-eyed peas and banana leaves is not officially sanctioned. She’s going to take it really well.

If I lived across the street as one of her “very many fancy neighbors” I would raise a glass to her abilities at the neighborhood block party, and conscientiously ask her advice when it came to pairing champagne and stemware for a well-lubricated celebrity crowd of twenty on a Saturday night.

I might even ask which echeveria to use in the tablescape.

Wickedly, I’d also try to tempt her hardworking gardener, Ryan McCallister, to cross the street and become my personal gardener.  My current gardener, Cutout Andy (though versatile and well-traveled), doesn’t have the same twinkle in his eye.

Cutout Andy and I discussing plans for the garden.

All this to say, I respect what she has achieved and have no desire to set up a mini-guillotine in the exquisitely designed cobblestone courtyard of her horse stables. I won’t even debate aspects of her gardening advice.  Susan did that already.

I also respect the fact that she is a 79-year-old woman who is a damn sight more active than your average 79-year-old American.

Let Them Eat Cake

What I don’t respect however, is this laughable attempt to appear ‘relatable’ as someone who is just like me, or like 99% of the gardening public.

I don’t respect the producers of this show having so little awareness of the current suffering going on throughout the country that they felt that a conspicuous display of fabulous wealth could feed the public’s very real (and in many cases, economic) need for gardening advice.

At a certain point it goes from being laughable, to being downright offensive. From the intro:

“I’ve lived on this farm for about 17 years. And like you I’m spending more time at home than ever before.  So I’m going to take you behind the scenes as I do my gardening projects. I’m going to help my celebrity friends. And surprise new gardeners.”

Here’s one of my gardening projects – Endlessly Weeding. On my knees. On my own. And I’m one of the lucky ones.

It must be horrific to spend 82 days on 153 acres. With a modified staff.

What about 82 days on a tenth of an acre (like my last house)?  What about 82 days in an apartment with a philodendron?

Uhhh….there’s a pandemic going on?

We have been six months at this pandemic.  After years in cramped quarters, I now live on ten beautiful acres in a four-bedroom house. And I’m ready to bury my husband’s work-from-home body in a remote corner of the property at this point.  It might even be classified as a COVID death.

And no doubt my husband feels the same way.

And yet, every evening of this mess, when I watch the news and see cities in such turmoil, I think of my 10×12′ apartment in New York, when I was 100% dependent on food service jobs and student loans to make my bills.

Each and every morning when I walk through the garden I think of our little upstairs flat in Southeast London when my son was a toddler, and how desperate I was for more than a window box and a few pots by the door.

My very first vegetable garden – a 2x17ft unpaved strip in the parking lot outside our tiny apartment in Southern California. (Photo from Big Dreams, Small Garden, 2017)

And each morning I am deeply grateful for the space around me, and painfully aware that others are struggling in this pandemic under terrible conditions with no end in sight.

No awareness from Hollywood apparently.  Or from Bedford.

“When the pandemic started and quarantine became de rigueur,” says Stewart, “I invited Ryan, my gardener, I invited Carlos, one of my drivers, and one of my housekeepers Elvira, to stay with me during this time.”

Quarantine.  De rigueur.  Alrighty then. So is a floor length gown at a debutante ball Martha. But okay, we’ll just go with it.

Lost in Translation

And if you didn’t study French in high school and are currently running to Google Translate – keep the tab open. To Martha, soil that is ready for planting does not resemble a palm full of pastry dough, but pâte brisée.

It’s actually an excellent analogy that falls short in its delivery. As does dropping mise en place to describe setting gardening tools in place for a project.

While you’re at it, you might want to check out  Île de la Cité, where Martha gets “all her seeds.”

No Chanel or Dior for this everyday gardener when she arrives in Paris, she tells us, but straight to those lovely little seed markets.

I didn’t want to bring Marie and her cake into this, but damn.

My husband and I on our way to the seed markets. Regrettably he had to drive us due to some staffing issues.

I remark upon these Gallicisms as someone with five years of French under her belt, a fair amount of experience in the kitchen and garden, and an unfortunate history of dropping sans into conversation, but a young, beginning American gardener doesn’t know her pâte brisée from her pot of ease-ay.

99.9% of low or middle-income gardeners are not jetting to Paris for their seeds and will probably see what’s available at local garden centers before they consider even splurging on shipping fees for online sources, no matter how wonderful they are.

I know I did.

And here. Here is the issue.  Pretending that this is a gardening show instead of a celebrity reality show.

The wonderful thing about Cutout Andy is that he is so incredibly portable.  Here he is on his way to help my mother in her garden in California.

Just Ask Martha

A few moments of FaceTiming Mitch in Lemoore, California about soil preparation for his carrots; or telling Maggie in Mississippi that she needs “ferns” for the north side of her shady house; or letting Karlin from Florida in on the not-so-little secret that she needs a coop for her ducks to keep them safe from predators; does not constitute ‘hanging with the little people.’

Especially after each performs the requisite sycophantic prelude before speaking to “the Gardening Queen Herself”

Maggie:  “I almost started crying but I did keep it together.”

And then there are the celebrity cameos.  Hailey Bieber needing dog grooming tips. Jay Leno showing us the kitchen in his garage and asking what a pomegranate is. Zac Posen telling Martha he’s been gardening since March in Bridgehampton.

“Well. It’s SOOO easy to garden in the Hamptons” she laughs.

I’ll just leave that right where it fell.

Cutout Andy taking a few moments away from digging out a new pathway to enjoy a warm tomato from my mother’s garden.

I made my life-long gardening mother watch two episodes with me.  When Martha begged Snoop Dogg to join her in Maine on her 63-acre estate, Skylands, for her next party post-COVID, Mom turned to me with a puzzled look on her face. “It’s like digging your heel into somebody’s face.” She said quietly.  “I’d be embarrassed to say that.”

Even if I gave millions of dollars to charities each year – as no doubt Martha does – I would too.

To his credit, a tee-shirted Richard Gere sat cross-legged and underneath a tree in his father’s average suburban garden where he grew up – even if they spent the entire time discussing the shade beds at his exclusive Relais & Châteaux establishment, The Bedford Post Inn.  He almost seemed a little embarrassed.

Perhaps we have his friendship with the Dalai Lama to thank for that.

She knows her stuff. But she’s forgotten her audience.

Martha’s smart. She’s exceptionally talented. She built an empire.

But she is not the person to put the G back in HGTV.

Those are people like Joe Lamp’l on Growing a Greener World, or Nan Sterman in A Growing Passion, or or down-to-earth influencers like Erin Schanen (www.impatientgardener.com) or Doug Oster (www.dougoster.com), or Ron Finley (www.ronfinley.com) who show you the trials, tribulations and glorious successes without the catchy music and celebrity friends.

Ron Finley of South Central L.A., an activist gardener who has changed thousands of lives by inspiring people living in the food deserts of inner cities to garden (Source: www.RonFinley.com)

For advanced gardeners who have yet to watch ‘Martha Knows Best,’ do. I’d like to know what you think.

But if you’re a brand-new gardener – look to the shows, feeds and podcasts of those who garden with the resources and in the region that you do. I guarantee you there are hundreds on YouTube.

Or, depart these shores altogether and take advantage of UK programming that still respects its population enough to provide polished and professional gardening programs to inspire everyday gardeners, such as Charlie Dimmock’s new endeavor, Garden Rescue, classic episodes of Ground Force, or Monty Don and others truly getting their hands dirty in BBC Gardener’s World. (Please leave your suggestions in the comments for excellent gardening programming in other parts of the world.)

Martha Knows Best is not a gardening show. It’s a celebrity reality show that takes place outside. And in the middle of a pandemic, when millions are out of work, businesses are shuttered, and large segments of the population are watching their future dreams for even a modest home and garden sabotaged by something completely out of their control, we deserve better.

Let’s hope HGTV digs a little deeper and finds it.

  ‘Martha Knows Best’ Is Not Great. It’s Not Even a Good Thing. originally appeared on GardenRant on September 10, 2020.

The post ‘Martha Knows Best’ Is Not Great. It’s Not Even a Good Thing. appeared first on GardenRant.

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