#ilona whines about her absolutely shitty luck with dudes

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

a list of gross/weird ass advances that i’ve had from people:

•that one boy in primary school who was a younger brother of someone in my year, in the year under us, that harassed me for like two years straight by following me around singing/rapping eminem’s “shake that” ft nate dogg to me. like y’all this shit was happening when i was like 9-11 years old. and this behaviour ruined that song for me for literal YEARS. obvs, you could fight this one with “well, he was just a kid and you were as well. so, it can’t really be helped or criticised bc he was just repeating the things you’d both heard on the tv/radio. he probs thought at the time that this was an okay song (which it obvs wasn’t) to sing to a girl that he liked; bc it was so popular back then (2005-2006)” which, of course, is to some extent true. but still???? a kid should know the meaning of “can you please STOP following me around singing that song, thanks?” that i asked him several times to do, but he kept doing it, until i told a teacher.

-that one time at 13/14 when i signed up to facebook for the first time ever, after two years of being used to myspace (good times),and got automatically signed up to the dating app zoosk bc FB had decided to sign me up as single and lonely and therefore, i needed a man. so, i spent my first 3 fucking months of facebook trying to find how to deactivate that fucking app and had men in their late teens to their early/mid 20s hitting on me through the whole thing. but at least most of the guys were understanding here and were rightfully freaked out as i was that fb had signed a fucking 13/14 year old up to a motherfucking dating service.

•”your name is so fucked! like it’s so hard to learn how to fucking spell and pronounce... like why the fuck would your parents call you that bc no one would call their kid that??? anyway, I’m just gonna call you *insert plain ass white girl name here* for the rest of conversation bc it’s soooo much easier for me! but like, why the actual fuck won’t you give me more than two word replies you super over conceited bitch!? when i’ve been nothing but nice to you?!  btw you’re sexy anyway and that should fix this. ps. send me nudes on snapchat bc its 2am and im lonely.” (all the same guy.)

•”oh hey.... we should make a wager where we if we ever meet and go out to a bar.... and we should bet off each other virginity’s right? are you with me? anyway, so, we go to a bar and see who gets fucked first and so loses their virginity first. and whoever loses their virginity first has to fuck the other one so that we both lose out virginity on the same night! sounds like a great idea doesn’t it? hahahahaha 😂😅 ”constant harassment for nudes and nude videos to be this guy’s private cam girl, bc apparently “following you for 4 years on tumblr is a lot of trust and so you owe me nudes bitch” ”oh and by the way, how are all your vibrators? are they getting a good work out? 😉😏😏” (this is all the same guy who follows me on here.)

•that one dude who thought that me inviting a friend along with me to us meeting in Bondi (in Sydney) made my friend an awkward 3rd wheel bc apparently we were a couple bc he liked all my posts on this godawful problematic hellsite. he was 18 like me. but still.

•those two 28 year olds who harassed me with sexual messages when I was 17 again on this godawful hellsite. and one of those guys always asking for selfies bc I was “so hot” and “so pretty” like y’all I WAS A FUCKING CHILD AND THEY WERE FULL GROWN ADULT MEN PAYING BILLS AND SHIT. IT WAS LIKE: PLS TRY AND PULL WOMEN YOUR OWN AGE. and then the other dude using the teacher sex fantasy where they fuck in the girls changeroom after sport.... when he was literally old enough to be a PE teacher at my school.

•literally just everything my high school stalker said to me back in the day and when I ended up running into him in 2015 on the bus home from uni.

•that one guy who I s2g was in his 30s and not his 20s like he said; from like azerbaijan or some other random country, hitting on me when I was 18/19 bc I “looked like a nice girl”

•those two guys somewhere in their 20s (where one of the guys was trying to set me up with his friend) when I was 17/18 who kept asking me if I’d ever watched porn and masturbated... and why I still hadn’t fucked anyone yet when I should’ve fucked someone by the time I was 15, apparently.

•mr creeper mccreepcreep who was absolutely hellbent in trying to confiscate/steal my phone (and my bag at one point) from me and just generally trying to leave me without my phone last year at a bar with some friends (2017) when he found out by peering over my shoulder at my phone, that i’d texted someone to pick me up from the bar to escape from him. bc remember: “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO LEAVE ME AND TEXT PEOPLE TO LEAVE THE BAR WHEN I’VE JUST MET YOU! AND YOU’RE SEXY SLEEP WITH ME, YOU BITCH! AND BY THE WAY, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LOOK AT OR EVEN ASK FOR MY PHONE EXCEPT TO ADD ME ON FACEY! :P” (this is what i think his thought process was it’s not what he actually said out loud) the whole time i was with him though, he was completely and utterly grossing me the fuck out and scaring me to death with how desperate he was to leave me without an escape route from that bar other than either him or my friends (ie my phone) and feeling straight up my dress and trying to “convince you (me) to kiss me (him)” i’m pretty sure i was close to getting my drink spiked if i’d had one with me tbh. he just gave off that feeling.

•ok this wasn’t from a guy... but when I moved schools at 16/17 (2012), one of the girls that I met was hellbent again on trying to “get you (me) a boyfriend bc you (i) need one”, apparently. in this process, she kept trying to set me up with men in their late 20s/early 30s (and a tiny minority close to our age at the time, at 16-18 even early 20s) and practically bribed me (i.e. she gave me jewellery and CD’s to keep me quiet each time) for the use of my phone to do so. she always asked me if i was talking to those guys and when i said no she was always like “why though??? they’re so nice!” and i was like “THE BULK OF THEM ARE ADULT MEN MABEL! THEY SHOULDN’T BE FLIRTING WITH/TRYING TO DATE GIRLS WHO ARE 16/17!!! SOME OF THEM ARE ALMOST TWICE OUR AGE!!! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT???!!!″ to which she’d answer with “so?????” she even asked a few times if she could take my mobile phone home WITH HER to add more creepy men.... which i obviously said a resounding “NO????!!!!” to.  finally, at the end of all that shit, she hit on me. when I said no she asked “is that bc you went to catholic school?” and I was like “no it’s just bc I don’t swing that way right now.” (and plus your behaviour is really fucking weird and concerning).

but the moral of this post is to fucking stay safe, my ragtime gals and my dudes.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

honestly the number one (1) thing that i despise about dating is the double standard between the standards that men and women set.

like a dude, lets say, deadbeat piece of shit kyle, 25 from minnesota who gets viral clickbait facebook article fame for setting out absolute batshit insane bullshit standards like “no fat chicks”, “no blondes”, “you must let me dictate what you wear everywhere”, “no talking to other dudes when you’re with me (so say goodbye to your guy friends, bitch)”, “no sluts” etc etc etc that they EXPECT to have met at every whim, no ifs or buts.... and everyone’s like “oh he KNOWS what HE wants... he’s ok!” when part of those standards literally sound vaguely controlling/abusive (like the “you must let me dictate what you wear everywhere” and “no talking to other dudes....”) but the bar is so fucking unbelievably and disgustingly low that everyone brushes those statements under the goddamned rug.

whereas whenever a woman (or me for example) says something like “all i want is a trustworthy partner and someone to be there when times get tough” (ok that was ridiculously corny but whatever... but you get my point) or the like....

the situation unfortunately instantly gets turned into something like “oh she’s demanding far too much! she doesn’t know what she wants! stupid girl, no one can ever meet that standard!!! LOWER YOUR STANDARDS bc you’ll never find someone who does THAT 😂😅🙄 GROW UP 🤬!!!! get off your fucking high horse bitch and just fuck whoever!!! and always accept shitty treatment from men. bc they’re just people, sweaty 🤷🏻‍♀️. STOP (🛑) being so high maintenance!!! because that will never get you a man!!!” or some other horrendously condescending bullshit like that.... as if wanting a trustworthy male partner is just too much of a demand for poor timmy from sydney; that you must lower your standards lower than a motherfucking limbo bar which is past the fucking point of anyone being able to get under it... instead you just have to step over it bc it’s on the fucking ground.

like fuck OFF. bc the amount of men i’ve had say any variation of the above to me are innumerable. fuck off. like why the fuck can’t men meet a simple standard of “trust” while they write absolute bullshit like “no brunettes” and the controlling comments in the top paragraph.... and they get dismissed with “he knows what he wants, leave him alone 🤷🏻‍♂️” and expect every one of those bullshit things to be met by a woman because apparently they can meet almost anything....

like it makes me tear my fucking hair out.... that im meant to put up with complete distrust/disloyalty or disrespecting of boundaries (like mr i’ll give you sex lessons in the back of my car or my stalker) from a man.... bc apparently me asking for trust or safe sex or whatever is too much for a precious man baby to meet... while i have to try and meet his absolute bullshit and be abused while doing it bc “men aren’t perfect 💁🏻‍♂️” and “have needs 🥺😫”... while im apparently just an “uptight, selfish and frigid bitch”, all because i refuse to believe that his so-called standards and clownery behaviour are NOT WORTH MY FUCKING TIME AND SANITY.

like i’d hate to imagine what twisted bullshit standards mr bar creeper weasel mcfuck had other than “you must let me snoop into your life all the time while i keep mine off limits” or some bullshit like that... which i would’ve HAD to meet if anything had happened past that night..... while any standard that i wanted met would’ve been completely fucking ignored... because women’s needs don’t matter, apparently. LIKE IT REALLY DOES FUCKING HEAD IN Y’ALL.

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okay don’t get me wrong. i know realistically that not every standard etc can be met in a relationship.... but the double standard between men and women where women are seen to be demanding and expecting far too much of men when they simply state that they want to “feel safe and respected” and have “safe consentual sex” for example in say an inbox.....

whereas men can write dumb shit like “no blondes” and “no bitches” or controlling shit like “if i don’t like your friends, they’re gone and that’s that” or some other shit i’ve seen in clickbait articles about tinder profiles or bad dating app convos and it’s taken as “he knows what he wants” etc should fucking stop.

because asking for safe and consentual sex is NOT too fucking much for ANYONE to ask. it is NOT a burden or a chore. nor is feeling safe and respected, for fucks fucking sake. IT’S REALLY NOT THAT FUCKING HARD.

but you know what needs to stop? the fucking dumbass bullshit about hair colour preference. the “no bitches/sluts/whores” etc bs from deadbeat pieces of shit like you, trent. and also the fact that you think you have a fucking awful, twisted right to control women as soon as you date them. learn to be a better fucking human being, trent.... you fucking creepy wanker. go to fucking therapy to sort your goddamned shit out, and don’t take it out on unsuspecting women on dating apps, fucking christ.