#so i think maybe i have a chance of getting a good grade :D which is good because

[iwakuraz]

goodnight to the creatures and people from my computer. I am not going to bed but I'm going to pretend to go to bed so I can act like I'm going to bed at the time I want to go to bed at

[cherishedproperty]

A Submissive Origin Story

Most of the time when people ask what made me submissive, I shrug and say it’s just who I am. I don’t believe that submission inherently comes from somewhere; sometimes it’s just who we are.

But lately I’ve been working through a lot, trying to get to a mentally healthier version of myself. I’ve been thinking about the high expectations placed on me as a child and the stressful environment around me. My dad in particular was emotionally unpredictable. He could come home in a great mood, then lecture us for an hour over some small turn of phrase he didn’t like. And as the eldest daughter (yes yes, I fulfill ALL the stereotypes), he was particularly hard on me. I remember in 2nd grade, I brought home a spelling test and was proud that I got a 99%. My dad lectured me for more than half an hour about how I can do better. This is one example of many. A few years ago, my dad told me, “I never had to spank you or anything. I learned early on with you that all I had to do was make you feel like a disappointment. That always worked. And look how successful you are now.” His intentional parenting philosophy was to cause me psychological pain. Thanks, Dad.

And listen, I know it’s all fucked up. I know he was wrong to do all that. That’s why I parent very differently, and why I chose people to coparent with me who would parent differently. But it did shape me. It still does. All of this made me a person who can read people really well and take the perspectives of others. I know what people want and how to cater to their feelings, because I had to. It made me a more effective communicator because I always needed to choose my words carefully before I opened my mouth. It made me an overachiever—yes, very successful, but also someone who feels I have to work twice as hard as a normal person to have a chance at being good enough. Someone who thinks giving 100% means giving until I legitimately can’t anymore. Someone who needs clarity and validation, because I starved for it with him.

Lately I’ve been processing all this and also working through a present day set of issues with my dad. So all of this has been very much on the surface.

Then a few weeks ago, I was getting ready for bed one night, and it was very clear Monsieur wanted sex. Had been thinking about sex all day. Had the toys all laid out. And my brain was just…not there. But I didn’t say no. Didn’t even tell him where my head was at. And unsurprisingly, things didn’t go well for either of us. I was thinking about it after, and I had this epiphany.

I didn’t say no because some part of me deep down believes that if I say no, he won’t love me anymore.

In my conscious mind, I don’t believe that at all. Monsieur is one of the most unconditionally loving people I’ve ever been with. But what I realized is, no matter how many good things I do as a partner, I feel like all of that gets washed away by one wrong step. Because that’s what has happened in the past. Perfection is the minimum standard.

It got me thinking that maybe this is why I find such comfort in a D/s relationship. I know exactly what the parameters are and what it looks like to be a good partner. The rules and expectations are explicit, and the feedback is clear. Do good girl things, get good girl head pats. Basically, I know exactly what it takes to get an A+ in my relationship, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

It also made me wonder if this is part of why I haven’t been feeling as submissive lately. I have a partner who truly sees me—all of me—and accepts me. He loves me not in spite of my quirks, but because of them. And every time I get down on myself because I didn’t do XYZ and I don’t feel good enough, he tells me what a wonderful partner I am and recounts all the good stuff I bring to his life. Clarity and validation. Unconditional love. And maybe it’s because I’m so confident in his love that I can finally stop forcing myself to push through when it’s not good for me.

There have certainly been times in the past when I have pushed myself to submit to a Dominant when it wasn’t good or comfortable for me. I prided myself on being able to give even when I had nothing left. And I often got the good girl pats and validation, which made it all feel worth it. But the validation didn’t replenish me; it just made being empty feel a little less bad.

I don’t say all of this to make D/s seem dysfunctional or inherently bad in some way. I know many people in healthy D/s relationships. And I don’t actually think that my submission is just a product of all this insecurity and need for validation; I’ve had submissive feelings for as long as I can remember.

But I do think my past has shaped the kinds of D/s I pursue and how I conduct myself in those dynamics. For example, it shapes my difficulty safewording because I don’t want to be a disappointment. Even though my partner has done nothing but praise me when I safeword. Even though I’ve seen the negative consequences of my failure to safeword when I should have.

So here’s where I’m at with all of this: I need to understand where my submission comes from a dysfunctional place so I can move forward to build a healthy, soul-nourishing dynamic with my partner. I’m not sure what it looks like yet, but I do believe it’s possible.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello!!!

Welcome back! =D

Part 2

Warning: long, long post (also a part 2 but I think y'all are used to it by now-) 😊😅

MattMick!! Also, Beer looking between them like that and Q and Toey peeking from behind cracked me up hehe

Also, does that mean Beer is single? Wait, maybe he's aroace. That'd be really cool.

I did see some hints of a throuple of him and MattMick, but I'm happy with either option.

SO CUTE 🥺🫶🏼

Poor QToey 😭

Their romantic moment got rained on so hard-

Exhibit: Here you can see three males from the species Homo sexuals. Two of them are already mated, and the third is in the courting process. We think the other male is interested too.

Oh- But I thought- oh, this makes sense actually. So the others know. I mean not really surprising when you think about it, to be honest.

With his unprecedented levels of obliviousness? Yeah, no, I get where you're coming from, Chain.

That's your biggest concern about getting a penguin?? 😭😭

Why does Peem look like the exasperated mom friend of the group 😭

After all the tiny crumbs of the past *checks notes* 8262 eps, this is a lot of progress.

HANDS. (I will never stop screaming about hands.)

Cuteee

Peem, babe, he hardly ever goes to class anyways. He's too busy following you around like a puppy.

Me, who holds handholding above everything else (yes, even sex): *DEEP BREATHS THROUGH THE NOSE* I'm fine. *SMOKE COMING OUT OF EARS* Totally fine.

Nothing to say, just a really good shot. (Also, Phuwin's exasperated smile seemed too real and then I learned Pond improvised that scene and yeah, that explains it)

ChainPun: only two people with matching pillow cases

QToey: missing (me?) [Sorry I couldn't resist 😭]

TanFang: peacefully asleep

PhumPeem: chronic insomnia, aggravated by Tan's snores

Matt: cuddling Mick

Beer: dreaming of him and his friends and their boyfriends all graduating with good grades

ChainPun. <33

Let me wrap this moment in my memory forever. (I tried to adjust the lighting a bit but it didn't really work out 😭)

AJSSHUJKJ!!!!! THEY GIVE ME TWO MAKE OUT SESSIONS WITHIN THE SPAN OF LIKE 4 MINUTES AND EXPECT ME TO BE SANE ABOUT IT???

No.

Look, we all expected this. I even said on record I wouldn't survive. And all that mental Muay Thai still didn't prepare me for this.

Till now, I have watched 60 BLs, give or take, so I've seen a lot of NC scenes. Compared to some of them, this is very PG-13, but this one really got me, like very few sex scenes have managed to. The intimacy, the palpable love, want. It all came together so beautifully in this scene.

Them saying 'I love you' during sex is canon! Yay! I knew it in my guts (wrote a fic about it) but feels so good to be right in canon hehe.

"I love you too, now kiss me again."

HANDS!!!! (It's canon now, they hold hands during sex, and so I can freely write a fic about it. Not that something not being canon ever stopped me but yeah.)

Fang: my brother is in safe hands. 😌

Also, love how Peem didn't hesitate to at the chance to kick both brothers and make it a streak 😭👍🏼

Honestly though, this scene shows that Peem is going to go to very long lengths to make sure Phum is okay, even kicking his own brother (which assures me that Peem maybe wouldn't hesitate that much to sucker punch their dad either, which is important information to have for possible future fics.)

How can one man be so goddamn cute??

The whimpering puppy noises- 😭

Cakes are so hard to bake, for real. This one is so cute though 😭😭🫶🏼

Puppy Phum- honestly is anyone surprised? No? Thought so.

This smile-

It holds so much happiness and the brunt of so many years of trauma. It's so beautiful. I'm probably gonna rewatch the heck out of this scene.

I end Part 1 here, Part 2 will be out (hopefully) soon!

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊 (All mistakes are mine, but in my defense, I literally fell asleep while writing this.)

Here, have a pie (of your favourite flavour) 🥧

[jasmineoolongtea]

Hiii i hope u're doing good and i have a req pls? Could you do smth like gojo just hanging out with student reader like father and kid? Just one random day (or some other scenario) gojo just yoinks reader and goes 'let's do something together' thxxxx :D

a/n: hiii anon, hope you're doing good as well !!! of course i can do your request so hope you enjoy this short drabble (＾▽＾) also sorry it took a while for me to get back to you since i've been away from my computer for the past few days :((

to say that gojo satoru is an eccentric teacher might possibly be one of the biggest understatements of the century. even if you were to put it nicely,

it's been a few days since you've stepped foot into the classroom on account of being put out of commission for a bit after a particularly nasty encounter with a semi-grade 2 curse on what was supposed to be a relatively easy mission. it would have been nice if the higher-ups could have mentioned that the curse had a tendency to travel in packs of 3 or 4 but in the world of jujutsu, you knew that's already expecting too much of them.

the first sight you're greeted with is your teacher, the strongest himself gojo satoru, leaning back in his desk chair with his feet up on the desk as if he had little to no care about anything in the world. if the higher-ups were to walk past and see this, they would definitely screech at the top of their lungs and die from shock or maybe it would finally be their bodies finally giving up on them in old age. you don't think you would be that sad to see them go.

"nice of you to finally show up to class. even if it's on the wrong day." your teacher huffs from his seat. there's a slight sting at his words but you choose to grit your teeth instead of replying.

albeit, you don't necessarily blame your teacher for his off-handed comment because, from his and everyone else's point of view, it just seemed like you were simply just taking the chance to play hooky and skip a few classes here and there even if it was far from the truth.

you made shoko promise not to say anything to anyone when she was patching you up, even if she gave you one of those looks that silently asked you if you really wanted that. it wasn't a matter of pride per say because having your classmates know that you got ganged up on by a couple of curses was honestly the least of your problems.

rather, it was because you didn't want to bother anyone more than you had to or even worse, be on the end of some surface-level sympathy from some people who could care less if you lived or died. to you, this was simply how the jujutsu world worked so what point was there sitting around and lingering on all of its problems when it would do you no good?

"...i've had a rough week. can i just get the work that i've missed out on and i'll be out of your hair." you mutter while avoiding eye contact with the taller man, deciding that all of a sudden the wooden panels of the floor were more interesting.

there's an instant switch in his relaxed demeanour as his voice is laced with strong hints of concern when he asks, "you wanna talk about it?"

you open your mouth to speak, to make a half-hearted attempt to brush off his concern and maybe even throw in a snarky quip to really cement the act that everything was fine but for some reason, you decide against that and so you end up saying nothing back in response.

it's quiet for a minute, the both of you unmoving, before your teacher suddenly stands up from his seat and strides towards you which takes you by surprise.

"alright, new plan then." gojo claps his hands, the sound reverberating slightly off the classroom walls as his typical attitude makes a return. "me and you are going on, let's call it, a class trip to the arcade!"

you roll your eyes, arms still crossed over your chest as you look at him, unamused. "i'm pretty sure that this isn't part of the class curriculum."

"when have i ever been a stickler for the rules, kid?" and without further ado (and a seeming shortage of verbal complaints from your side), you find yourself whisked off to a nearby arcade and being ushered into the doors of said establishment by your teacher.

so much for your original plan of retreating back to hide under your blanket for the rest of the day, you think to yourself.

as you step inside, memories of after-school hangouts with megumi, nobara and yuji as you guys make it your mission to burn through your monthly allowances on the various games and machines flood your mind and you can't help but smile whilst reminiscing, though it fades quickly when you realise that it feels like forever since any of you guys have had the chance to relax with each other like this considering how time has become more and more scarce and more like a luxury that one had to earn rather than anything else.

there's the sound of coin swishing around in a bucket coming from your right and when you turn to face the sound, you see your teacher making his way towards you hugging a comically large amount of coins in an insanely large bucket in his arms. if it were any bigger, you might have been obligated to call it a chest instead of a bucket. you do a double-take at the sight in front of you.

"are you planning to buy out the whole arcade with those coins?" you remark, a bewildered expression clearly painted on your face as you try to calculate in your head the amount of money he must have spent on that stash.

he looks down at the bucket of coins in his arms which were almost on the verge of overflowing and shrugs. "eh, this is nothing." he replies with an air of nonchalance.

you're ready to contest that statement of his but then you remember gojo satoru, aside from being a teacher with interesting teaching methods, to say the least, is also one of the richest sorcerers in the entire country of japan as well so whatever he did spend on those arcade tokens is probably nothing more than a drop in the vast ocean that is his bank account.

in the blink of an eye, gojo sprints off to the brightest and flashiest machine in the arcade and you can't help but question if he might be a child trapped in the body of an adult. begrudgingly, you trail behind him and watch as he slots in the appropriate amounts of tokens and boots up the game. while waiting, he starts absent-mindedly button-mashing the controls in a vain attempt to make it load faster.

you sigh to yourself as you watch from over his shoulder. "is this day more for me or you?" you ask, your eyes still trained on the screen in front of you. "because from what i'm seeing, it looks like you're enjoying this waay more than me."

gojo laughs softly to himself, not even pausing the game before turning to you with a smirk on his lips. "that's because you're spending more time complaining rather than having fun."

to be fair, you couldn't really argue with that so you quietly concede (though very unwillingly) to him as you take an unoccupied chair from another game booth and return to where he was playing. before you know it, you find yourself deeply immersed in the game as well and you start reacting to his gameplay like cheering when he makes it past a level or groaning in frustration when there's a roadblock standing in his way.

for a split second, you notice that there's a faraway look in his eyes which looks eerily similar to the one you probably had when you stepped into the arcade and began to think about happier times but before you can even spit out a question, it's gone and you're left wondering if it was nothing more than just a trick of the light.

the game is over quickly soon enough when the words 'you win' begin flashing in white on the screen with gojo's high score written underneath the text. you then scramble to take his place in the seat when he stands up to stretch, very much intent on beating his score and a competitive glint in your eyes as you stare at the machine with laser focus. behind you, he smiles to himself and watches on proudly, letting out a cheer that's probably too loud and earns you two a few weird stares from the other passersby whenever you progress on to the next level.

the rest of the afternoon flies by like this as you and gojo constantly bounce from one game to another, challenging and throwing some light-hearted taunts at each other as you attempt to beat the other's score. this does rapidly deplete his coin stash but by the time you're down to the bottom of the bucket, you two have already beaten all of the available games in the arcade with some of them being beaten more than twice as well.

gojo takes the bucket from your hands and heads over to the counter to exchange the remaining ones for money before returning to you and pointing to the door, signalling that it's time to head back. you do a quick look back at the place behind you, feeling much lighter inside than compared to when you entered, and walk out with your teacher

while walking down the street, you feel a nudge against your shoulder and turn to face him. he gestures towards a small pastel stand on the side of the both of you. "hey, check out that crepe stand over there. they have some of the best ice cream crepes in the area." your teacher states.

you look at him, unconvinced. "i'm not sure i can really trust your taste buds considering how much sugar you consume on a daily basis."

"come oon, i'll even pay for yours if you get one." he offers, a bit too eager as he tries and fails to hide his own craving for it. you feel the corner of your lips curl upwards slightly and it seems that your stomach agrees with him as it growls quietly in an attempt to signal its hunger.

"well if you were paying, why didn't you say that earlier."

you order the first thing on their must-try section since it was your first time there, which appears to be a vanilla ice cream crepe with cherries and whipped cream, and gojo decides to go with a custom order of a matcha-flavoured crepe base, three scoops of strawberry ice cream piled on top of each other, a mountain of whipped cream with fresh strawberries placed inside but not forgetting the finishing touch of matcha powder sprinkled on top.

you would feel bad for the poor employee tasked with creating that monstrosity when they give him a knowing look, implying that this was not their first time dealing with him and his strange orders. you wait for a bit before receiving your order with him having to try extra hard to make sure nothing would slip off his order and find a seat on a nearby bench.

you two sit in silence, side by side, and eat your crepes, taking this as a chance to unwind. as you take your first bite, the soft cream simply melts in your mouth and the crepe is just the right amount of sweetness with the cherries giving you a good burst of flavour and you secretly commend your teacher for his recommendation.

taking another bite of your crepe, you look at the sky and admire the way the clouds drift lazily across the blue canvas behind them. "hey, thanks for this gojo sensei. it's been a while since i've been able to...relax." you admit, an element of vulnerability hiding behind your words.

he turns and looks at you with a soft smile. "anytime, kid."

[danieyells]

Also like if you're cool with it can you tell me to build the cards and stuff? I'm still confused with it :'(

UH! I don't really know how to build cards either lmao. I just push the buttons when they get red blips U: BUT I WILL TRY AND EXPLAIN WHAT I CAN

i was actually writing this on mobile and then i accidentally closed tumblr when it was like 87% done so MAYBE THIS WILL BE WORSE THAN INITIALLY INTENDED I DON'T KNOW. Initially I was explaining like. A bunch of unnecessary stuff about where you get certain upgrade materials so I think this'll be better and marginally more concise because I feel like there's not actually that much to explain. It's very much just "make number go up".

So from what I've been told it's better to focus your efforts on a single SSR if you have one than trying to even things out, but since you're not only going into battle with your singular SSR I try and keep other units at a minimum of level 50 and a Level 40 warding card(preferably the one it gets a link bonus with!) with 50 Potency Grade. THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE ADVISABLE but it's how I do things personally. And then I have my SSR(s) which I focus on--one SSR gets most everything and once I have to wait to limit break it, I start giving resources to the next one down(or the next SR down.)

Now since just about every stat relies on different items to boost it up(coins obviously notwithstanding but you can very easily gain more coins) you don't really have to ration anything--just focus on boosting your highest ranked unit.

Like I said I just hit the button when the red blip pops up, but you may have noticed that when it comes to equipment the game prioritizes higher levels to higher rankings. Which. . . .

not very helpful, as it turns out! Turns out higher ranked units(SSR-SR-R-A-B-C-D-E, from highest to lowest) are generally a little better even at slightly lower levels! Because some equipment doesn't boost attributes(multiple stats) at all!!!

Higher rank = higher attribute boost. Higher level = higher battle stat boost.

see how Alan's overall power is higher with the level 95 C perfume than the level 100 E perfume? The game automatically gave him the E. . .even though it was weaker and both were available. The game checks for rarity over their level, so you may want to manually choose cards based on their stats as opposed to choosing the auto-equip button!

Also of note, sometimes a fully awakened R is stronger than an unawakened SR of the same level. . .if you have to wait to limit break your SRs, check out how your Rs are doing! They can be pretty strong too! You can always take stronger equipment and gems and such away from them for the higher rarity unit when you're ready.

@tokyo-debunker-memes made a pretty good guide to gems here and you can refer to that for any of your gem questions since I think they did a good job explaining and summarizing things! (I will say, gems go past level 9, they just can only be purchased at a base level of 9.)

The best equipment(SSR, SR, and R) can be made at Mr. Mo's Goldmine using using gold, silver, and copper materials you get there. You only have a chance get gold if you do multiple pulls there over the course of a week(the milestone resets every 7 days or so. . .or every time there's a new gacha I've noticed), so I wouldn't think too hard about SSR equipment. That's for whales. It's literally designed so that you have to use gems to even get a chance at gold material to make SSR equipment. And you need so much of the stuff just to make one it's just not worth it monetarily unless you've got insane disposable income haha.

I would focus only on the level 100s of the Mr Mo equipment(the Red Queen set and the Lotus set. The Stardust set if you wanna whale real hard.) If you get lucky enough to get enough silver and copper material you can make them, and they're stronger than anything you'll find doing Investigations or that they'll find on campus after investigations--that I'm aware of, unless they start giving out SRs and SSRs at higher level investigations which I doubt.

R, SR, and SSR equipment can be trained and given gems, just like warding cards, and raising their Special Attributes will provide additional percentage boosts to the unit they're equipped to(Necklaces, Rings, and Earrings raise HP percentage; Perfumes raise Physical Attack and Physical Defense percentages; Brooches raise Special Attack and Special Defense percentages. Warding Cards raise Attack percentage.) Try and focus on raising the Special Attributes related to the unit's attack style(noted in the 'Skills' window on the unit page.) That is to say, raise the Special Attibutes for Perfumes for Physical attackers and Brooches for special attackers so that they'll have higher attack power and do more damage. Of course, both are also important for their defensive value, and HP is also very important!

R, SR, and SSR equipments also have 'badges' which detonate they're part of a set. The more of that set you have, along with a warding card with the same badge, the higher bonus(indicated in the upper left of the unit page) you get for the character it's equipped to! The only way to change a Warding Card's badge is by leveling it up so. . .don't worry too hard about it, because moonlight paint is a pain in the ass to get.

Guardian spirits similarly should be distributed based on the ideal stats that unit should have raised. I only use SSR guardian spirits and feed any lower ranking ones to them to raise their levels. If you get a guardian spirit of the same level with stars, it's better to use and level up that one! It gives a higher percentage boost!

Generally you legit just have to look at the numbers and percentages and choose whatever's higher overall I think. Higher percentages are usually better, I think, since those will scale up with any increasing stats' individual numbers. Not that equipment have percentages, but I mean in terms of figuring out what to upgrade in general. Again, it's very much 'make number go up' from what i can tell. I usually focus on level since it boosts all the unit's battle stats by a percentage, but since everything needs different materials to level up anyway it's fine to just use whatever you get wherever you can, or save up to be able to boost your strongest units.

I DUNNO IF THAT HELPED ANY. I CAN TRY AND EXPLAIN SOMETHING MORE SPECIFIC IF NEED BE?

[gabzilla-z]

ok quick thoughts, spoilers behind the cut.

Pros:

Halle. HALLE. H a l l e. Her voice, her face, her mannerisms. They took what made Ariel special in the animated movie and built on it and she was the perfect person to pull it off.

Her beauty was distracting.

So glad they finally got a singer for a live action, I couldn’t take another B&B autotuned disaster.

Made me want to get to the nearest rock and play mermaid ngl.

I had my doubts with Jonah but he did a great job with Eric, played the shy, kinda awkward potato prince charming to perfection. Loved that they expanded his backstory and his interest in adventure and the sea. Also A+ for the movie knowing he had a white shirt on while surrounded by water and using every chance it had to drench him.

Eric still being caring and worried about Ariel even under Ursula’s spell? 10/10 no notes.

He came to chew bubblegum and be dreamy and he was all out of bubblegum.

Halle and Jonah’s chemistry was insane, I need them to do ten movies making eyes at each other.

Seriously the movie could have been 2 hours of them interacting in that library and it would have been money well spent.

or just two hours of them being cute smol and tol in a boat idc

TRUE LOVE INDEED

Can’t wait for this movie to be out in D+ so I can reblog all the gifs.

Part of Your World and all reprises were ofc gorgeous. Vanessa’s Trick is haunting and exactly what one would want for a siren song. For the First Time is gorgeous and underrated, felt very Broadway-esque. Eric’s song was corny but in a good way.

The rest of the songs are adequate but are not as good as the original ones.

Gotta said, song aside, the Kiss the Girl scene was more endearing in this version. When she helps him figure out her name?

Melissa was good as Ursula and made the character her own, though I think she was not as scary as she could have been. Better than I expected, though.

The actress that plays Vanessa knew she had 5 minutes to make an impression and used them to the fullest. Delightful.

Cons:

The CGI felt unfinished and so did the color grading/lighting. I edited all the movie images in this post (just played with the saturation and the contrast) and I’m mediocre at best. HIRE TUMBLR EDITORS, DISNEY.

Halle deserved to wear more outfits, I can't believe Disney missed an opportunity to sell more dolls. Would have given her a dress for each day on land and the water dress. Mouse, I thought you liked money.

we could have had it all

Wanted more of her sisters tbh. And less Triton, Javier phoned it in imo. I know Triton and Ariel’s relationship is an important part of the original movie but idk if it was his half assed acting or me wanting more of the sisters, but I wasn’t moved.

Flounder's weird character design was saved by his stellar voice actor and Sebastian grew on me, he was hilarious. Scuttlefina was tolerable but gosh she’s always playing the same character, stop casting her in everything.

Less I say about Scuttlebutt the better. Kids are probably gonna love it, though.

The ending was kinda weird? It felt rushed and the battle with Ursula was disappointing. Which is a surprise because the OTHER stormy scene at night was wonderfully done. 

Up to Ursula taking Ariel back to the ocean it felt really cohesive but the second Triton appears to save her it was like they were trying to speed things up and it got... weird.

Didn’t mind Ariel being the one that killed Ursula, after everything she put her through.

Cannot believe the movie robbed us of Jonah screaming “I lost her once, I’m not gonna lose her again!”

Overall it was a well paced (up to the finale), entertaining, charming movie. Despite its faults, the only Disney live action I want to rewatch (outside MAYBE Cinderella).

8/10 Justice for the foam dress.

[bigmandiego]

{ JAN LUIS CASTELLANOS, 22, CIS MALE, HE/HIM } Is that DIEGO FUENTES? A SENIOR originally from MANHATTAN, NY, they decided to come to Ogden College to study ASTROPHYSICS & ASTRONOMY. They’re THE BIG MAN ON CAMPUS on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance.

THE BASICS

FULL NAME:  Diego Luis Fuentes NICKNAMES:  D/Dee/Di however you want to spell it and Fuentes is common AGE:  22 BIRTHDAY:  May 18th HOMETOWN:  Manhattan, New York ETHNICITY:  Dominican SPOKEN LANGUAGES:  English, Spanish, French, and Italian GENDER & PRONOUNS:  Cis Male, He/Him SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  Bisexual

DIGGING IN DEEPER

MBTI TYPE: ESFJ-T ALIGNMENT:  Neutral Good POSTIIVE TRAITS:  Practical, Hard Working, Enthusiastic NEGATIVE TRAITS:  Stubborn, Insecure, Idealistic SMOKES/DRINKS/DRUGS:  No, Yes, Sometimes EXTRACURRICULARS:  Football Captain, Cross Country Member, Senior Student Governance Member, Triathlon Club, Sigma Alpha Epsilon president CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS: Nick Young (Crazy Rich Asians), Ted Mullens (Schitt's Creek), Nate Archibald (Gossip Girl), Dr. James Wilson (House), Ann Perkins (Parks & Rec)

HOW HE EMBODIES HIS TROPE

Diego is perfect, that’s what everyone thinks anyway. Not only is he athletic, not only is he smart, not only is he charming and well liked— it’s all deserved. He works hard to not let his teammates on the swimming and diving team down. He works harder to keep his grades up. He is kind hearted, and sincerely as friendly as he comes across. He has everything he could possibly want. He even had the future anybody could have wanted. A secure spot as partner in his father’s law firm after graduating law school, and the perfect future wife, in Greer Morrison. Except Diego didn’t want any of that. He never wanted to study law. Parts of his relationship with Greer… were complicated at best. So, when he came back junior year with a brand new major (he always felt nerdy about his love of space and physics, but it is something he had been passionate about since he was a child), and no girlfriend it was surprising to everybody. He doesn’t think much really has changed. He’s still athletic, he’s still smart, he’s still loved by everyone. He is just doing something he actually loves, so Diego still feels bigger than ever.

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH GREER

He grew up with Greer. He knew her since they were little kids, and their parents knew each other before that. They went to all of the best schools together, they went to all of the best parties together, they went on vacations together. They were inseparable, though it was not necessarily through any decision of their own. A lot of his life was decided for him without any real decision of his own for a lot of his life, and he always felt like that was something he and Greer really related to each other on. It’s just how people like them are raised. He still thinks about a moment when they were young, about ten at most, the two of them sitting on some ornate staircase in the middle of a Christmas party commiserating about how awkward their parents make them feel around each other because they never stopped talking about how cute they were together. Greer said, ‘I wish they wouldn’t’, and Diego feels like maybe that single moment summed up their entire relationship.

Not to say he didn’t love Greer, not to say they didn’t want to date when they suddenly were wracked with hormones. Diego definitely wanted to date her, and he still loves her. He always will, but they did not have a great relationship. He was a terrible boyfriend, and she was a terrible girlfriend. They pretended like they were perfect, they had the act down. Smile, hold hands, kiss, laugh good naturedly when their relatives brought up their future together. They were put into a tiny box together, and over the years it ruined any chance they really had with each other. It made them miserable, and in turn they made each other miserable— but only behind closed doors, which can be even more damning than publicly airing your dirty laundry. They broke up in their Sophomore year, and he thinks they were both happier and better for it. At least he hopes that is the case.

WHAT'S HAPPENED RECENTLY

After the situation the previous year started going down Diego has been very stressed out. Not only is he looked at suspiciously as Greer's former boyfriend (and not even the most recent one!), but as someone who did openly argue with Greer quite a lot while they were dating. His roommate was also arrested and sent to jail. His best friend was fucking his girlfriend behind his back. Someone is out blackmailing everybody, and someone who he was extremely close with since they were children had disappeared. It was perhaps a bit of a selfish thing to do, but Diego left Ogden at the end of last year, a few days before the fire at the Commons happened.

During the year he had applied for internships, and study abroad programs and ended up in Paris France from the start of the Summer, until the start of this current term. He has been working as an intern at the European Space Agency, and attending Paris Sciences et Lettres -- PSL Research Paris, a school ranked number 1 in France, and in the top 50 in the world. So, yes, he left Ogden on a study abroad program for half a year, but it was for his career, and for his experiance -- it wasn't to get away from all of this. That's what he says.

HEADCANONS

Diego's family is a link between New Money, and Old Money. His father is new money, having made a name for himself as an extremely aggressive defense attorney for a lot of New York's Elite (think Saul Goodman for wealthy people). That is how he met Diego's mother, a woman part of the oldest families in New York City. Her parents weren't a fan of the match, but what was her father going to say? No to the man who got him out of spending years in prison for embezzlement and fraud? So, the two of them got married and had their only child, Diego who bears the weight of old money expectations, and new money ambitions.

Up until this year Diego was planning to study law and become a partner at his father's law firm, but that was only because his father wanted him to. Surprisingly he came back this year to study two completely different things (Astrophysics, and Astronomy). It's caused a bit of tension back home, but he's always wanted to work for NASA, he's never in his entire life wanted to be a lawyer.

Diego prides himself on making sure he’s not handed anything, despite who his family may be. It’s one of the reasons he’s happier in a field of study that his parents have nothing to do with. He works really hard to maintain good grades. He works really hard to maintain his spot as Captain of the Football Team, and on Cross Country. He works really hard organizing things for SAE. He works really fucking hard, stressing himself out on the amount of work constantly on his plate and worrying if he’s good enough. He just wants to earn what he has on his merit. Not because of who he is.

He grew up with Greer. He knew her since they were kids, they were dating since they entered high school. He loves her, he'd be the first one to say that. He loves her as a friend, and as someone who has been in his life for as long as he can remember. But their relationship was fucked. Their breakup wasn't amicable, nor were they that amicable after they broke up, but it was mutual, and it didn't stop how he feels about her.

MORE COMING SOON .... 

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

What happened to Kyoshi/Rangi theory

So before Reckoning of Roku comes out I have 3 theories. The first one is what I had before I saw a slightly spoilery bit of information, the other two were after I had a that small spoiler (it's from an Amazon preview?).

I'll start with the first one (so that people can just not read the other two if they don't want to). Basically the theory will focus on 1) Why/How Kyoshi died, 2) What happened to Rangi, 3) The fuck was going on with the Chin the Conqueror situation. 4) Father Glowworm shenanigans ;D (Avatar Realms Collide might like this)

Obvious spoilers for Rise of Kyoshi and Shadow of Kyoshi (and a small preview excerpt for Reckoning of Roku)

Theory 1: Kyoshi's tragedy

Kinda partial to this one cause of absolute premium grade AAAA Angst, of course the Roku novel might nuke it.

Rangi dies at around 30ish years (just before Chin's whole deal/Kyoshi island creation, which happens when they should be 40ish). It'd explain why she's not in the art for "Birth of Kyoshi Island" and other such things. I know she was made AFTER the fact, but making it so she died before that period would make it a much smoother retcon.

Is Kyoshi's grief also a reason why she let Chin fuck about? A bit. I think it and the reason Rangi died go hand in hand. They were cleaning up spirits and spiritual issues. I don't think the dark spirits stopped at Kuruk. I think there were some that 1) didn't rebel until after Kuruk left, 2) Kuruk just didn't get a chance to fight.

It'd make a lot more sense them being absent because of spiritual fights and it not being reported to the public (cause the same thing happened with Kuruk).

Who was the Spirit? Could be a new one, could be Yun. Bonus theory! When Kyoshi killed Yun, she killed his body but not his spirit. His and father glowworm's spirit went back to the spirit world. Which means they weren't killed for good (like how Kuruk killed spirits).

So Kyoshi stayed alive for 200ish more years because of either Rangi asked for it, her duty, and/or also because of the whole spirit thing.

Btw what I explained for Chin and Yun can be applied to the bottom two theories too.

NOW FOR THE SPOILER STUFF! You can turn back now if you want to go into Reckoning of Roku completely blind!

Before I get into the two theories, here's the passage that lead to them being made:

Now that's the only thing we know. Nothing stating Rangi learnt it. But......... ;U

Theory 2: Rangi learned to extend her life

Kyoshi taught Rangi to extend her life. So why did Kyoshi die at 230?

Option A: Rangi died in an battle. Kyoshi either died in the same battle, or just couldn't taken living after her death and died soon after. Who was it that killed them? Dunno maybe Yun. (not partial to this, theory 1 is a better angst imo, but option B I think capitalizes on this a lot better).

Option B: Kyoshi died in battle (maybe protecting Rangi). And Rangi is STILL ALIVE (same with Lao Ge) even in modern Korra times. She travels between the real world and the spirit world (and can still visit Kyoshi's spirit, it's not the same-same but it's damn near close enough). She's still fighting, possibly Yun (Raava/Vaatu? Lol no the real battle of good and evil are two down bad teens after one Kyoshi).

Theory 3: Hei-Ran is the one who extended her life

Dun dun duuuuuh. To combined Theory 1 and theory 2, and make it a plot twist. Rangi died in a similar fashion in Theory 1. Hei-Ran, just destined to be dragged into Avatar bullshit, has Kyoshi teach her how to keep living. So she can support Kyoshi (until whenever Kyoshi is killed or chooses to die). I dunno, I feel like they both would be there to support each other. Is Hei-Ran alive even after Kyoshi died? :0 Who knows!

[thegoldenavenger]

About... 7k of reverse tropes "nursing home" au inspired by the bingliu server as always. Minor warnings for themes of mortality, elder abuse, controlling behavior, cults (???), and uh less than canon typical violence. Mostly it's funny I hope. Not betad and an outline fic.

LBH volunteers at the nursing home in homage to his adoptive mother who was a nurse there. He's seen as a sweet boy, dedicated and hard working. He is 100% the "statistic that caregivers exert undue influence unto their charge in order to be included as a beneficiary in their will is an error. Luo Binghe who gets included in over three digits of wills and inheritance clauses is an outlier adn should not have been counted."

Mostly bc the folks he volunteers for genuinely like him, but also bc after his mom died, only being in some random grandmother's will helped him survive and start going to college so now he games the system by being sweet and maybe a little manipulative.

Shen Qingqiu is an older gentleman who has been in and out of hospitals and is now recovering in the assisted living center (or something idk). Shen Qingqiu is rich and aloof looking, can be extremely acerbic so a lot of the nurses avoid him when they can. His family, if he has any, do not visit.

Luo Binghe has time and holes in his schedule so he starts feeling out how receptive sqq is. His other target is the old palace master, who is also very rich and old, but less acerbic. Lbh has already started on OPM and he's very friendly but he also has like a billion grandkids who lbh low key has to compete with. OPM seems to favor lbh anyway, but lbh doesn't see any harm in befriending someone a little lonelier just in case.

LQG only meets sqq by mistake. Maybe he's looking for somewhere to house one of his relatives, or maybe he's tagging along to visit a friend's relative. Maybe he has to do volunteer hours for a course he's taking. Whatever it is, he and sqq come into contact. Sqq finds out lqg is [doing something badly that sqq has experience in. Like, idk getting a relatively low grade in literature] sqq immediately picks on this bc he is a terrible gremlin who likes being mean. Lqg, not really beholden to etiquette or respect for old people, fires back.

They get in a very, retroactively, embarrassing verbal spar. Sqq is very haughty and clever, teases out what parts lqg is struggling most with, gives backhanded advice, and mostly enjoys winding lqg up.

Lqg, for his part, is never really challenged in this specific way ever. A) He respects the older people actually in his life bc they deserve it (hmm do they haha) so he just like. Nods when they scold him. B) He usually excels at what he does so he doesn't get chastised often. C) when he doesn't excel he's eager for pointers which are given to him bc he is a martial prodigy everyone wants to nurture except for D) when he's underperforming in the soft arts. He isn't stupid, but no one expects him to be good at poetry or reading, so when he struggles with dyslexia or too literal thinking no one really bothers to help him. So this is like amazing for him.

LBH walks in on the tail-end of the fight, is APALLED, and physically escorts lqg off the premises. Literally picks him up and yeets him out the door. (It's a double KO for lqg who wanders off dazedly) LBH has been trying to get sqq to open up for like weeks now, and he didn't know sqq cared so much for that particular topic, which LBH knows a lot about. So LBH tries to engage with sqq that way. Sqq is perhaps a little more receptive but still taciturn and kind of mean about it.

LBH's endless well of patience finally runs dry, he calls sqq a mean old man, and sqq finally laughs at him. Lbh storms off, upset he got upset and ruined his image and chances of getting into sqq's inheritance probably. The staff and other residents are furious at sqq bc NOONE has ever made lbh upset before, how dare he singe their precious cinnamon roll of a white lotus binghe.

Turns out, the meaner lbh gets, the more crotchety old sqq actaully likes him.  He sees right through lbh's sheep act, is pretty wary that lbh is cozy-ing up to him bc he's about to die and his money and estate might as well go somewhere, and also hates that lbh just lies down and lets anyone walk all over him to seem mild and tender. He's a human person, not a chicken nugget, sqq thinks he should grow a spine and take what he wants and also stop hanging out with literal Cult Leader OPM.

Lqg mulls over sqq's advice, such as it is, applies it, and does a little better then expected. Everyone is shocked and congratulates him (as if the miniscule amount he's improved deserves that) and then tells him to relax and not over exert himself in areas he's not suited towards / doesn't need in life. He is increasingly upset with the people he has around him and goes back to the assisted living center, figures out that they really dont let just anyone walk in and starts a commotion at the front desk.

He can't even say he's there to visit sqq bc he doesn't know his name and saying he wants to visit "the shameless, underhanded, mean old man in green" was probably not the best way to get a visitor's badge...

Lbh is helping sqq take a walk around the center for exercise, sqq bitching the whole time, so they come across lqg making a fuss. Lbh squares up to Remove The Problem, but sqq elbows him out of the way and power walks over to lqg like he wasn't just complaining of a bum hip three seconds ago. He stops half way and switches smoothly into Refined Older Gentleman Strolling mode, with his hands primly behind his back.

LBH is so mad, and also curious so he just watches.

When LQG finally clocks that sqq is approaching he points a very rude finger at him and says "that guy! I'm visiting him!" To the receptionist.

Everyone shuts up, even sqq pauses. He wanted to get in a fight again (lbh has loosened up a tad and will verbally spar with him but he doesn't lose his temper and the sparring is more complicated and maybe a bit more bitter than the uncomplicated win sqq is assured he'd get over lqg) (yes. This man is mad he can't bully lbh more effectively, he's an awful dude ajakskdkdldl) but he wasn't expecting lqg to come back for him. He thought lqg might be here for whatever reason he was here last time.

The receptionist glances at sqq, like... "him? Really?" And sqq sniffs and imperiously waves his hand. "It took you long enough" he says "hurry up and check him in" he orders the receptionist who thinks very hard about calling security before deciding sqq deserves whatever mess he's getting into and hands lqg a visitor badge.

Lbh awkwardly follows them, unwilling to leave them alone when he JUST got sqq to regularly (yell) talk to him. For some reason, sqq's verbal acidity and berating is... well, lbh likes it more than OPM's friendly smiles and incessant little gifts. Like hell he's gonna let some random guy piggy back off his hard work.

Lqg doesn't waste time. He slams his [idk. Test. Essay? Reading report????] Down in front if sqq and crosses his arms.

Sqq stares at it and then at lqg. Lbh sneaks a glance too and makes a face. Sqq says "It was clear at first glance that you were an idiot but I did not know it ran this deep." He reluctantly picks up the paper and flips through, with a face like he's watching a train wreck.

Lqg growls, tense. He hasn't sat down and his hands are white knuckled against the table between them. He leans over sqq almost threatengly, steely gaze watching sqq's every minute change. "Is it hopeless, then?" 

Sqq's expression twitches as he keeps going through, line by line. He recognizes a lot of the mistakes LQG has made, diagnosis him with dyslexia almost immediately, frowns bc he can see the underlying structure lqg is going for but can't execute.

Lbh comes around sqq's side and reads over his shoulder. He's sure sqq is going to throw the papers back in lqg's face, which will serve him right. The paper header catches his attention. Maybe it's the teacher's name, or even lqg's name that he recognizes, but he puts two and two together, realizes lqg would be a Very Beneficial Friend to make, and decides when SQQ throws him out lbh will pick up the pieces. LQG is sure to have richer more influential friends that lbh can use... this will be perfect. He can't stay loitering around this place forever, at some point he has to grow up and be successful and honor his mother's efforts to raise him up...

"It's terrible." Sqq finally says, his voice heavy.

Lqg, who has been told to give up trying by everyone around him and has stubbornly insisted on trying to push through, actually slumps down in his seat. If this random old man thinks it's not worth it, if even he, who doesn't know lqg at all, thinks he's too stupid to improve, maybe he really should stop trying.

LBH cannot help his smug smile. Trust in sqq to tear down anyone's walls, now lbh can just follow after lqg, discarded papers in hand, and offer to go over them with him. It's bad but not hopeless, and anyways, lbh is a great ghostwriter. Lqg looks like a dumb athlete, so even if lbh can't improve his brain he can still improve his grades—

"Whoever tutors you needs to be fired," sqq interrupts lbh's fantasy, and takes a red pen out of his pocket. (He carries it around to correct typos in the books people leave lying around. He also writes scathing reviews on newspapers, magazines, charts that nurses accidentally leave unattended. He's a terror. It is policy to confiscated pens from him.) He starts marking the paper up, saturating it in red.

He actually pinches lqg's ear to pull him closer, pointing at a section to ask for clarification. Lqg halting gives it, sqq expands on it, lqg looks confused and extremely out of his depth.

"Make yourself useful and get my notebook!" Sqq orders lbh, waving his hand in lbh's face.

Lbh grimaces but runs to sqq's bedroom and gets the notebook (he hasn't completely fallen out of his white lotus persona just yet). When he hands it to sqq, sqq pulls lqg in for the Lecture of All Time. Lqg goes from looking wary and confused to determined, all furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips.

Lbh stands around and then wanders off to make snacks, determined to insert himself into this (he wants to be useful so badly! He wants someone to expend that much effort on him!! Isn't sqq supposed to be mean? And yeah, he's yelling at lqg and hitting him with his pen or his notebook to make sure he's paying attention, but sqq is supposed to be making him cry! Not helping him!!!) when he comes back he sets a plate of light finger foods down by sqq's elbow.

Sqq's hand automatically reaches for one and eats it. He pauses his whole lecture to chew. Lbh is unaccountably nervous for sqq's reaction. Sqq's reaction is rather a non reaction. He doesn't comment on lbh's food. But he eats more of it when he continues lecturing lqg and when lqg fails to come up with an answer he points his pen at lbh instead.

Lbh immediately replies, answering perfectly (of course) and sqq nods decisively, awarding him a point. Lbh grins, and lqg hisses "show off" decidedly not under his breath. Lbh responds in kind and the two start in on each other, lqg itching to do something he's confident in and lbh riding high on the one (two!! In sqq's book not taking the moment to spit vitriol is practically praise!) Bit of affirmation sqq had bestowed

Sqq gets tired of them yammering and kicks them both out, telling lqg to stop by again if he's up for getting his brain wrung out like sponge.

Lbh has never been kicked out before so he doesn't really know what to do and ends up wandering after lqg. So what, his plan to comfort lqg kind of... never got off the water, and also the guy keeps shooting wary glances at him, lbh will just annoy him into letting him around lqg's friends and connections. Also, seeing lqg riled up is really making lbh's chest glow. There's no reason to split ways now.

Lqg finds suggestions written in bold all throughout his papers. "Request materials reprinted / displayed in different font" "get a line reader" one note is just a web address. His watch buzzes, and it's time to go to the gym.

Lbh is STILL following him, so lqg tells him to buzz off. Lbh, who isn't blind and can see the gym bag lqg is holding says he is also going to the gym. Lqg points out lbh's lack of gym bag and gym clothes. Lbh says it's lqg's fault for getting him kicked out of his volunteer job early.

Lgq maybe feels a little bad about that so he lets lbh tag along after him. He has to make a stop at his apartment instead of going straight to the gym like he wanted to, in order to throw some spare clothes at lbh, and then they both go to the gym where lqg gets to vent [gestures to all of it]. He's actually feeling pretty damn good! He's got things kind of worked out! Sqq is mean, but he's forcing things into lqg's head that no one has bothered to do before. Lqg isn't like... going to pursue the arts or anything, his family has his future lined up for him already and he isn't particularly interested in the arts. It's just that he wants to prove, if only to himself, that he isn't Just a dumb strong guy.

Meanwhile, lbh's jaw is on the ground. How high can lqg kick? How flexible is he????? How much can he dead lift????????? That's more than lbh weighs!

Lbh is strong but not especially trained. So like, yeah he can throw lqg over his shoulder when the guy is distracted but he's suddenly hyper aware that he might not be able to if lqg was actually fighting him.

He asks for a spar and he learns Very Quickly that, yes, that was indeed an exception... lbh holds his own surprisingly well for someone who isn't trained, lqg is very reluctantly impressed. Lbh ends up flat on his back gripping a Sports Drink(tm) for dear life reconsidering all his plans

So this is how it goes: lqg visits sqq three times a week for the most violent cram school imaginable. Lbh volunteers daily still, spends less time with OPM and more time nagging sqq and following after lqg's gym visits. Sqq is surprisingly content beating knowledge into such a meat head kid, and smug that lbh is dropping more and more of his goody two-shoe act in favor of getting into fights with lqg and debates with sqq.

Lbh enjoys figuring out what snack foods both sqq and lqg will eat; They are both surprisingly picky over food. Sqq likes things that are clean, light, delicate. Lqg eats things that are protein heavy,  clean, and healthy. It's more of a challenge than lbh thought it would be, and a little frustrating when he finds something that one of them likes but the other won't eat.

(Lbh spends an inordinate amount of time on some tanghulu and tea cakes to go along with a high quality tea... sqq practically inhales his portion, praising lbh's tea with more genuine words than he usually does. Lqg makes a face and tells lbh he doesn't eat that much sugar, but they look very nice. The face he makes is sort of resigned)

Lqg keeps improving in his classes. Enough so that one classmates (Mu Qingfang) asks him if he wants to go on a field research trip with him. It's mostly a camping trip, Mqf would deal with all the fiddly bits, but it seems like something lqg would like, mqf says offhandedly.

Lqg mulls it over, brings it up to sqq and lbh the next time he sees them. Sqq is interested in mqf's topic of research and sort of encourages him to go just so sqq can also get in on it. (Lbh watches like 80 year old sqq try and teach lqg how to use the video call function on lqg's drastically unsexy phone)

Lqg goes on the trip.

Sqq and lbh both adjust fairly badly to not seeing lqg like they're used to.  Sqq is surprisingly lonely and takes it out lbh.  Lbh relishes sqq interacting with him more but misses lqg anyways. Without lqg's tutoring lbh goes back to his regular volunteering routine, which means he's back to spoon-feeding OPM

Opm has Not been Happy about lbh spending less time with him. Opm is like, a literal Cult Leader and has been trying to snare lbh for himself this whole time. At first, sqq's abrasiveness seemed perfect, like he'd drive lbh deeper into opm's clutches, but somehow that did not work out. With the addition of lqg helping bridge that gap, lbh seems to be getting further away

Opm pulls some strings, has his dear grand daughter (LPM) start flirting with lbh, and GYX try and take up sqq's time. He also makes a few calls bc he recognizes lqg's family name at least.

It all comes to a head very suddenly.

LQG's family find out he's spending a lot of time is SQQ's care, ducking out on his other responsibilities (he has just rescheduled his time... lqg would never disrespect his family by ditching his other classes and what have yous, but it's all the same to them) that he went on mqf's  camping trip without consulting them, potentially putting himself at risk for injury or sickness or whatever. They're pissed.

Lqg tries arguing that he's literally just getting tutored for his grades and he should be supported for that. He's trying to balance his mind and body, and they should respect that. Instead he gets told that he's undermining their plans for him, being disobedient and willful when he should be grateful he has the chance and privilege to be training for his martial dreams (blah blah blah)

He's thoroughly dressed down and forbidden from visiting the home

Lqg gets increasingly angry and has no idea why he's being punished, because he hasn't dropped any skill he has, and is only trying to improve himself. Honestly, it's starting to feel more and more like committing to the nebulous martial arts / professional athlete career his family is grooming him for is increasingly like stepping into a gilded cage. He enjoys honing his body and competing and it is absolutely killing him that he's getting so torn up about it now.

Literally his only respite is hiding in his baby sister's room and reading stories to her. She loves when he reads to her and she thinks her brother is the smartest person in the whole world.

Unfortunately for sqq and lbh, lqg seems like he drops off the face of the planet. He just stops making video calls with sqq (phone is confiscated) he doesn't show up to his next scheduled cram session (grounded) he just disappears. Sqq idly thinks that he broke him and ran him off.

Lbh is a little suspicious. The man he spars with wouldn't run from anything! He'd definitely tell them to their face when he was done. Probably. Unless lbh scared him off some how? Maybe lqg got tired of lbh stalking him (dropping in on him at the gym, figuring out where his classes were so he can stop by and walk to the assisted living place together, etc) all the time? Maybe... lqg found out lbh was trying to use him to social climb? (Lbh mostly stopped planning to do that the moment lqg laid him flat at the gym but!!! Maybe lqg picked up on something anyway)

Meanwhile, lbh keeps having to fend off LPM, sqq is getting a little annoyed with GYX, and lqg is not sure how he's grounded when he is a whole ass adult... sure he doesn't actually have a job bc he has literally never needed one in his life, but he shouldn't Have to sit quietly and listen to a lecture that boils down to "You're whole life is planned out for you, don't even worry your pretty little head about it."

The OPM is getting anxious bc even without lqg, sqq and lbh seem to be commiserating together. He's in the middle of another Grande Plan to separate the two when they get in a shouting match in the middle of the rec room.  It blew up so quickly no one really got an earful except gyx who was nearby and respectful declines to share, but LBH storms out determined and angry.

OPM is very pleased bc surely that young man will be running to opm now, for comfort and guidance! And opm can guide him straight into his cult's clutches!

Lbh does Not run into OPM's open arms.

He cools off and the next day is back to following behind sqq like a lamb, reflexively making enough finger sandwiches for three and then making sad eyes until sqq eats one more. So OPM plays his cards.

A dapper young man in a suit and a young woman dressed just as nicely show up one day and just, check sqq out of the home.

LBH shows up as the young man is pressing sqq into a wheel chair to cart him off. The woman is holding sqq's coat and is smiling at him, obviously happy to see sqq. Sqq is very Not Happy.

He keeps trying to get out of the chair, keeps telling them to go away and leave him alone, etc etc.

Lbh interrupts them inserting himself in between them and sqq in the chair, creating space. He demands to know who they are and what they're doing, but approaches it cautiously and from the angle that he is oh so concerned with sqq. 

They introduce themselves and Qiu Haitang and Qiu Jianluo (obviously ahsjdk) who are sqq's only living relatives and they've been looking for their grand uncle for months now after he disappeared from his estate. They are oh so glad he's been well taken care of but it's time for him to come home and have the best care money can buy!

Sqq shakes his fist and accuses them of just wanting his inheritance. QHT is offended by the idea, obviously just misses sqq and worried about him, but lbh sees QJL's calculating gaze before qjl waves off sqq's accusation and says sqq must be going stir crazy cooped up in this little home

Lbh can't really do anything to stop sqq from leaving, but he gives his business card to qjl and has to just stand there and watch sqq get dragged away.

OPM edges up to lbh like "look! I am old and in need of attention!" And lbh reluctantly and kind of mechanically goes through his volunteer checklist now that sqq is gone.  Opm takes his chances and tries edging closer to lbh, taking advantage of his obvious poor state.

Meanwhile lqg is starting to chafe under his new restrictions.  He usually likes his routine but it turns out not having any choices really saps the enjoyment out of everything. He takes to bothering his little sister more and more often, growing much closer to her as he isolates himself from the rest of his family. He is just so tired of everyone telling him how great at this one thing in his life he is. Like there's no other choices for him.

It's not like he wants to abandon the life plan his family has laid out for him; he doesn't want to be a scholar, or a scientist, or a poet. He just doesn't like the one dimension everyone has cast on him. He is so, so close to believing he's only good for the one thing and nothing else matters and he really doesn't want to fall into that mindset.

He misses how hard sqq pushed him, and how teasing lbh is. They're both good for him, he thinks. He's known no one else like them in his entire life. Elders are meant to be respected and listened to, and peers, if he had any, were for him to defeat.. he was never encouraged to talk back or think quickly enough to parry one of sqq's spearing little snipes, and has never been allowed to take pride in something as simple as a clever turn of phrase. And no one can keep up with him, so having LBH repeatedly dog his footsteps, improving leaps and bounds just to match him is exhilarating and he misses it.

He thinks about skipping out on leg day to make a visit.

OPM is definitely taking advantage of lbh's sudden unstable headspace. Unfortunately for lbh, he never really processed the grief of his mother passing. He kind of has been low key retraumatising himself by getting old people to love him enough to include him in their wills and then Die on him, but it's totally fine because he has SUCH a tight hold on his emotions that these deaths don't really affect him. Really! There's nothing triggering about being repeatedly left behind. :)

And now he's formed genuine bonds with lqg and sqq against all expectations and they've both left him! And he can't do anything about sqq bc sqq isn't his family or legally bound to him in anyway that he could stake a claim against blood ties, even if he suspects qjl at least of ill intent. And lqg just abandoned both lbh and sqq, so. So.

Opm kind of takes the opportunity to feed into these paranoias and pent up emotions, definitely trying to get lbh to associate opm with some kind of stability. Lbh even goes with opm on a home visit to [Huan Hua Palace analogue] where he's very briefly tempted to join an actual Cult so his problems go away

Luckily someone says something—maybe omp says something a little too reveling, or lpm let's something go that she's not supposed to, or gyx (who genuinely grew to like sqq for some inexplicable reason) gives lbh a stealth hint—and lbh realises that maybe he can't do anything about sqq (yet) but he can definitely track down and wring answers from lqg.

Lbh runs to the gym lqg frequents. Lqg is not there, so lbh tracks him down. (Boy has Stalker in his blood unfortunately)

He finally runs into lqg at a different fancy training gym lbh has to sneak inside of.  He confronts lqg, who seems surprised but not upset to see him. Mostly confused bc lbh is so upset. (His family didn't know? About lbh? So he's not grounded from lbh or even sqq specifically, just the assisted living place.)

Lbh comes off hot, demanding a lot of answers from lqg, who honestly tries to give them, but lbh really isn't in a great headspace and lqg isn't either so it turns into a graceless fight pretty quickly. Lbh is not dressed for a spar, but they tumble across the mats anyways. Lqg doesn't hold back and neither does lbh, who has been learning startlingly fast from lqg so they both end up in terrible condition.

Lqg is finding it kind of cathartic, bc lbh isn't caring about pulling punches or making sure lqg is in top form, and he sure as hell isnt above baiting him with words either.

Lbh is just finding it very nice to actually let lose and not act like a starry eyed little lamb to keep everyone on his good side. Obviously, lqg doesn't like him as much as he thought or he wouldn't have left so it's fine to let everything go

They kind of beat each other into the ground and they're both lying down staring at the ceiling, catching their breath, when lqg finally manages to explain his phone got confiscated and he hasn't been allowed to visit and he bombed that test he was supposed to take, but he did grab a copy of mqf's essay for sqq

And then lbh just bursts into tears

Lqg is frozen, completely unsure of what he said that caused that reaction.

Haltingly, lbh explains that after lqg stopped showing up, sqq's grand niece and nephew took him away probably to get their grubby little hands on his estate or whatever (as if they even care about his extensive historical scroll collections!) and that he's pretty sure he's halfway to joining a Cult even and everything sucks now!!!

Lqg sits up and like. Pats. Awkwardly at lbh's shoulder.

Apparently, since lbh visited Huan Hua Palace he recognized some faces that have been low key following him around and bumping into him all coincidental like. Like. The cult-recrution is very serious and lbh is kind of just realizing it now and freaking out more.

Lqg grabs a first aid kit, tenderly helps clean lbh up, drags him to a store to buy some decent clothes that aren't covered in sweat and blood, and then beings him home.

Can't let him go back to an apartment that's being stalked probably.

He introduces lbh to his family as a novice with potential, and lbh's manners are impeccable so they take a liking to him pretty quickly, even if they are a bit stoic about it. Lqg makes up some acceptable excuse to have lbh have dinner and stay over so they can talk more seriously about everything going on. (Lbh noticed that lqg's dinner is different than the rest of the family's)

Liu mingyan is also there, and adorable, and she likes lbh because he makes her brother frown less.

Anyways, lqg leads lbh to a guest room and then sneaks in from like a side window idk, and starts dissecting lbh's rambling again, this time with focus. He comes to the conclusion that there's two major problems here. One, opm's weird obsession with lbh and that Cult. Lbh can just stop volunteering at the center, but since people already know where he lives and have been low key stalking him that is not the only step they'd have to take.

Second, sqq's nefarious relatives trying to take advantage of him probably. They'd have to ascertain that they really are taking advantage and it's not just sqq protesting too much.

Out of the two, lqg decides the whole. Cult thing. Is more important right now. Sqq's relatives probably aren't planning on, like. Killing him early.

(He spares a moment to lament how weird his life has gotten)

Anyways defeating opm just amounts to getting evidence of tax fraud from the cult, which lqg recruits his acquaintance from school for (that's sqh. Sqh is having his own whole side adventure involving mbj, lgj, madam meiyin, wqw dealing with inheritance rights and accounting. He is not having fun.) which at least results in mbj princess carrying sqh away from lqg and lbh when sqh throws them all the paperwork for proof of money mishandling.

Opm goes to jail, the Cult is dismantled, lbh and lqg aren't even involved so risk of retaliation is very low.

During this lbh gets to come to terms a little more with his unresolved grief and the mortality of those he loves. He has several conversations with lqg about it, in oblique and acute ways. Lqg is straightforward, and hasn't encountered death as much as lbh, so his opinion is mostly that things happen when they happen. You can't avoid it, you just have to avoid having regrets. Which in turn makes him seriously reconsider just going along with his family's plans for him.  Yeah he was fine with it, but he'd been incredibly lonely and unfulfilled. He thought all he needed was improving himself, but with how close he is now with lbh, he realises  that he was seriously close to never having a friend other than his little sister.

He decides to take his own advice and not let others dictate his life.

This causes a fight with his family, of course, a huge blow out. Lqg insists that he's capable of doing the things he wants to do and handle his own schedule. His family cuts him off as like, a lesson in self sufficiency. If he doesn't appreciate them and their guidance then he can go it alone. They obviously think he'll come crawling back when he realises he has to work or something.

He can't afford his apartment (his family owns it but they tell him to fork up rent or figure it out)

Lbh graciously offers his apartment.

There's a mini arc where lqg adjusts to peasanthood. Lbh helps him get a job, lqg struggles to balance that AND training AND school, but he's always been a hard worker so he figures it out. Lbh insists on doing all the cooking when lqg reveals he knows how to make like three meals, and they don't even taste good. (They're calorie efficient and high protein)

Lbh goes back to volunteering bc that's... kind of a huge chunk of his time. It's his hobby. But he spends a lot more time with lqg which helps him regulate his emotions and stuff surrounding. You know. Dying.

Anyways, it's thanks to this that they get a lead on sqq! An older gentleman tries checking in at the visitor center and lbh would ignore him but he overhears sqq's name and comes wandering over.

"I just wanted to visit shen qingqiu. If possible."

"Oh, he's been checked out by his family for a few weeks now."

The man turns away, dejected, and lbh pounces on him, offering to escort him out of the building. Lbh asks him how the man knows sqq, why he wanted to visit, etc etc.

The man's name is Yue qingyuan. He was a childhood friend of sqq's. They were separated and he's been trying to get back in contact. He doesn't want any regrets. Lbh has a very nice and long conversation with the man, and they exchange numbers.

Lbh is excited to tell lqg the news and they both end up calling yqy to set up a coffee date later on.

They tell yqy about the qius and he corroborates their ill feelings and that sqq was never really close with the qiu branch of the family. Yqy knows where sqq's estate is and the qiu's family home, so he and lqg and lbh decide to make a visit.

Sqq, predictably, is pissed at yqy. (Do we get sqq and yqy's backstory here? No. Sqq herds yqq to a private room to yell and cry at him. That's for them. Idk if it's very obvious but sqq here is a mix of shen yuan and shen jiu so hes terrible but like in different ways)

Lqg and lbh awkwardly kind of stand around while that reunion is happening when they over hear qjl's conversation over phone with someone. They decide, you know, fuck it, might as well eaves drop. QJL definitely says something super suspicious and incriminating.

They go back to interrupt sqq and yqy when it becomes clear qjl is headed in sqq's direction. They give sqq the heads up, sqq admonishes them both but is CLEARLY touched  that they both were concerned about him and came after him. 

Qjl's plan is to get sqq ruled unfit and appoint qjl or qht as the trustee or whatever which means the qius will basically have all the access to sqq's money and estate before he even dies.

Sqq tries to outmaneuver him by preemptively disowning the qius from his heritance, but things do get tied up legally speaking. QJL and QHT say that sqq is unfit and old and obviously being taken advantage of by one of his caregivers from when he was recovering from a hospital visit. (They still have lbh's card and try to slander him Liberally)

Lbh does have to face and acknowledge his manipulative ways, at least in private to lqg and sqq and yqy. Sqq laughs, saying he KNEW lbh wasn't the sheep he pretended to be. That's fine, sqq likes wolves better anyways.

Lqg, after all their conversations about lbh coming to terms with his grief and trauma kind of assumes it's a little more nuanced than trying to just dig gold out of old people. Like, it was more of a coping mechanism where lbh was receiving tangible rewards for being in someone's life, assuring that even if he kept being left behind he was being rewarded as well?

Yqy decides that at the very least lbh cares genuinely for sqq so the rest doesn't matter, but his track record is maybe not the best to be involved with advocating for sqq Not Being manipulated and also probably shouldn't be in the lime light anyhow as he might get in trouble if any of his uh inheritances are questioned

Lqg on the other hand, is like. Best boy. Tutored by sqq, obviously hanging a genuine mentor/student relationship that can be backed with his grades improving (if sqq can still tutor someone he probably still mentally competant) with a wealthy family of his own, there's very little reason for anyone to suspect lqg of manipulating anyone in any capacity. (Him being cut off isn't like, a formal thing at all. And it's doubtful his family would make a fuss about it if it would harm their reputation as well, but it never comes up)

So LQG goes head to head with QJL about sqq's capacity for self governance. qjl is charming and clever, but lqg is earnest and captivating. Lqg definitely puts to use some of the rhetoric sqq tried beating into his head and is fairly pleased when he comes off as articulate and well spoken instead of awkward.

lqg and lbh eventually convince qht that qjl is not seeing sqq's best interests and she takes their side and qjl's quest to get his hands on sqq's money is squashed.

Sqq decides he wants to travel, hires lbh as an attendant, mostly so he has someone else to yell at besides yqy who insists on following sqq around like a duckling. Sqq hates ducklings more than lambs.  (The trip is for yqy to make various contact with his connections and businesses now that he's found sqq.)

It's lqg's family that begs lqg to stop being so self sufficient and independent. They say they'll give him a bigger allowance, a bigger apartment. He can have cheat days for his diet as long as it's within certain limits! Lmy misses him!

Lqg figures he's made his point and sort of goes back to the family. He still keeps living in lbh's apartment bc someone needs to feed lbh's stupid birds and pay the rent and what not, but he mostly eases back into his previous routine.

Lbh and sqq give him shit about it, like he's backsliding, but what is he supposed to do? There's only so much time he can spend listening to sqq lecture with the time difference, and with lbh gone there's not really anything to do but train like normal.

It's only when lmy comes crying to him bc she's feeling so pressured that lqg realises that probably things aren't ever going to change. His family won't stop pressuring him or trying to control his life and it won't stop with him. He doesn't want lmy to grow up feeling like she can only be good at what their family wants from her.

So he tells his family in no uncertain terms that he is going on a vacation. And he's taking lmy. When he comes back, he won't stand for them pigeon holing mingyan like they did him, and if they want him to keep being such a successful Liu child, and not disown them all outright, then they better get comfortable with lmy chosing her own path.

He ends up calling yqy, who arranges for lqg and lmy to join them in a layover surprising lbh and sqq.

(Sqh and mbj are babysitting lbh's birds and apartment)

Lmy delights sqq, who starts early in teaching her the joys of literature and teasing her big brother.

Lbh is also ecstatic, he really missed lqg. Lqg explains to them the ultimatum he gave regarding lmy, and lbh is displeased lqg is basically bargaining his own future for lmy's.  Lqg shrugs it off, he does enjoy his projected career and he's good at it. It's really enough for him if he family stops meddling in the rest of his life. He's pleased to choose who and what he gets to spend his free time on, and it's doubly worth it if that means lmy gets to be who she wants to be right out of the gate.

Lbh reluctantly agrees with him.

Anyways, they spend like two months traveling around having a great time on sqq and yqy's dime.

Yqy introduces lqg and lbh to a BUNCH of acquaintances, a large amount of which are established coaches and martial artists who take a liking to lqg and lbh.

Sqq spends so much time writing, probably memoirs or something.

Lmy is adorable and starts her own journals AND insists lqg start teach her some moves.

Lbh picks up so many recipes. Since lqg is on vacation that means lbh gets to feed him whatever he wants!!! It turns out, lqg just hasn't tried a lot of things and actually enjoys most of lbh makes. (Lbh is going to riot if lqg goes back on a diet.)

They make a cute family.

So, sqq is free, lbh is a little more grown, and lqg isn't just putting one foot in front of the other any more.

There's still some conflict in their lives... lqg's family is hard to work with but he sticks to his guns. It's a little embarrassing when lmy decides she wants to follow in lqg's footsteps and he wants to give her the freedom to do that but also wouldn't she rather do literally anything else. (She would. She would also like to write). Lbh gets very over protective of sqq and yqy bc they are getting older and more delicate, which ruffles sqq's feathers so much he threatens to write lbh out of the will!

Lbh is like "I'm in the will?"

And sqq is like, "don't be stupid, I paid you on our vacation as a caregiver, that disqualifies you from being a beneficiary."

Lqg is in sqq's will. Sqq figures lbh will marry him anyways at some point (lbh is a hopeless romantic) so it's basically the same thing.

(Yqy did NOT know sqq didn't put lbh in his will. He put lqg in his too! So he wouldn't feel left out!!! And he wouldnt feel pressured to rely on his family forever! Now he's got to get it rewritten for binghe!!!! )

I'm not going to write about sqq and yqy dying I'll cry. So it ends there. Happily.

[ethannku]

fanfic ask game!

tagged by @satans-poptarts, tysm!!

1. how many works do you have on Ao3? - 38 (40 if we count anonymous fics)

2. what's your total Ao3 word count? - 96,376

3. what fandoms do you write for? - my most consistent fandoms are pjo, hoo, and toa, but i occasionally write for semantic error and naruto

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? - give me one good honest kiss (valgrace 5+1) - i'm stuck with u (trans nico) - paris (youtuber nico) - what are the chances? (cartercy oneshot) - just the way you are (trans nico again)

5. do you respond to comments? - always!!! i love responding to comments! also i can't stand when my inbox has unread messages lol so i try to reply as fast as possible

6. Which of your fics has the angstiest ending? - oh thats tough... maybe no rest for the cursed, where jason is sent to valhalla? or still with you, a tsats rewrite where nico meets jason in tartarus instead of [redacted] and [redacted]. i don't really write angsty endings tho do i.

7. Which of your fics has the happiest ending? - literally no clue. i have so many fluffy ones + ones that never even had plot to begin with lmaooo

8. Do you get hate on fics? - thankfully no!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? - stares at my current wip. ahhahaha. straight smut apparently.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? - i do not, tho i've wanted to write a pjo hogwarts au for ages

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? - i don't think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? - yes! someone translated a fic of mine into spanish :D

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - yep

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? - for writing: valgrace. for reading: sasunaru, hands down, no competition. nothing comes close to them i fear

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? - i cannot handle posting things that aren't fully finished so thankfully i have no wips!! however i have so many drafts that will never see the light of ao3

16. What are your writing strengths? - i have no clue... i want to say descriptions? when i write i picture things in my head like a movie, so i can see which parts of the scene i want to point out to readers

17. What are your writing weaknesses? - outlining lmao, i cannot outline for the life of me...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? - I LOVE IT. i don't think i've done it but i really should do a fic where someone speaks french...

19. First fandom you wrote for? - omg if we're talking first ever time i wrote within an existing universe then it was for the philippa fisher books in 5th grade, i think i wrote some for a school assignment? but if we're referring to first time i wrote fanfic and called it fanfic, then it would be haikyuu i think

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? - give me one good honest kiss always always always. i have never outdone it imo and i love it very much <3

as for tagging: anyone who wants to!

[bubblesxo]

What r ur hyper fixations???????

ooooh recently i have been all over this tv show called gotham (which people can probably tell... oops lol)!! i really like it, it's basically about bruce wayne when he was a kid from when his parents died up until when he became batman (but with a time skip so you don't have to watch all 10 or so years of training in there once he turns 19). basically all of the batman rogues are included and it is such (!!) a good show wowwowow. it is very graphic though so it's deffo not for everyone! (i can talk for hours abt this but i'll stop there haha)

i'm also into a lot of batman media in general. some comics, etc. esp the batfam! i love tim drake maybe too much haha

i've also been into this anime called bungou stray dogs recently. it is also very good (!!) and i love the main character so so so so so much i just want to hide him away from the world.

more long-term, of course i still have jason grace at the back of my head. his backstory?? is so good?? there was so much potential there and i just feel like rick wasted it! and now he's dead 😭😭 which is honestly what kind of killed my love for the rest of the series. that was a long-term for me for such a long time!! i loved it from like fifth grade until i got the book maybe a year after it was published and i was crushed. my favorite character killed for a side series. 💔which also might be why i've been reluctant to get into book series for the past few years

honestly, i kind of cycle through hyperfixations every few months. over the summer i was really into my hero academia and was into jujutsu kaisen for a while after that. i had a brief invincible (a superhero cartoon) phase that might be reignited soon with the next part of the season coming out (? we'll see if the spark is there). i also periodically go back to the descendants movies (except i actually hate the second and third and can't watch them? but i love the lore and i can't not talk about them?). i also hyperfixate on my garden around the late summer/fall and got bit into food preservation last year so i'm hoping some of my Christmas books will come in handy and i can learn some new skills later this year.

okay okay i think i've taken up enough of your time. thank you for this nice ask!! it really made my day <33 thank you for giving me the chance to chat about this stuff for a bit!! i'm sure there's way more than i mentioned but honestly sometimes i lose them so hard that i forget they exist... and then months later will go ?? how did i forget about this gem?? time to make it my personality for the next few weeks/months

anways. i'm done for real now. thank you so much again!! :D

[chickensarentcheap]

Little snippet from Never Gonna Be Alone

@tragiclyhip @youflickedtooharddamnit @munstysmind @mrsmungus @secretaryunpaid @themaradaniels @residentdormouse @thesirenrealm @muchadoaboutcj @asirensrage and anyone who reads, supports etc :D

(For context, Esme and her sister Riley, talking about an upcoming family wedding)

WARNING: a tad NSFW based on topic of conversations lol

“It’s open bar. We can get loaded on his dime.”

“Tempting, but not a total sell. I seriously do have to mull it over. And talk to my husband about it. Something tells me he isn’t going to be too keen on the idea. Considering everything Kyle has said and done? Not to mention the grief caused by the rest of my family? I don’t think Tyler is going to like the thought of being around them. He knows they drive me mental. And I don’t think he wants me having a psychotic break thousands of miles from home.”

“Maybe you can convince him to go. Offer ass play. That usually does it.”

“Bold of you to assume we don’t already do stuff like that. That ship has long sailed. It’s a regular thing now.”

“God, does he realize how lucky he is? Is that why he buys you so many nice things? Is your ass that special?”

“I’ll have you know that he buys things ‘just because’. It has nothing to do with my ass and what he’s allowed to do with it.”

“Sure it’s not. I’m going to call him an ass bandit. See his reaction.”

“Like it would bother him. There’s no shame in his game. He’s proud of his handiwork and his skills of persuasion.”

“See what happens when you get good dick? Your common sense goes right out the window. I still don’t know how he doesn’t break you in half.”

“And I’m still not giving you the details on how we manage things. But I will talk to him. About the wedding. Maybe I have my own skills of persuasion to use. It’s going to take some work. To get him to agree to go.”

“Daily blow jobs for a month or two?”

“Also bold of you to assume. It’s been almost every day, twice a day for about ten years.”

“No wonder the marriage is still going strong,” Riley teases. “No wonder he doesn’t have eyes for anyone else.”

“My man is satisfied and then some. Speaking of which…”

“What? It’s time to go satisfy him? You have a reminder set in your cell phone or something?”

“No. He’s not even home. But he will be. Soon. With Nugget. And I’ve got about five huge boxes and just as many bags of groceries to put away. And as much as I want to spend my day talking to you and sipping hot chocolate with Baileys in it…”

“It’s not even noon there. Are you becoming the town slut AND drunk?”

“You’ve been the town slut since grade nine. It would take a lot to dethrone you. But I should go. I do have six other children to take care of. I do have to keep them alive.”

“Just throw them bread and water. They’ll be fine. Well maybe not Mildred. Maybe water will make her turn. Like a gremlin.”

“The last thing I need is more of her. I’m not going to take the chance.” She downs the remains of her drink, then stands and stretches languorously. “I gotta go. Real life beckons. Time to put on my wife and mommy hat.”

“What do you put on when you’re offering your old man the caboose?”

[prekladatelsky-orisek]

🌻My Language Goals🌻

This is gonna be a pretty long post, so I'm going to stick most of it under a read-more link! My goals for languages are shaped a lot by my interests, so a lot of what I want to do is oriented by reading (specifically, I *really love* fantasy books!).

Broad strokes: - journaling is an aim in languages I'm not too confident writing in yet - watching youtube/tv shows is smth I enjoy in languages I'm better at - I think making small presentations about myself or writing about my day would be useful in languages I'm more of a beginner in - I need to study/use more vocabulary

🍃 English (native, C2)

English is my native language, so it's hard to envision a major goal with it... Long term: Teach English abroad :D Short term: Learn grammar, attend TEFL course

🍄 Czech (heritage, ~C1-C2)

Czech is my heritage language. While I speak it fairly well, I do make occasional errors and often lack confidence. I feel like using it more would be good for me. Long term: Be confident writing, read more, speak more confidently (and more like someone my age), read more Short term: Read Časodějové, practice writing in a journal, make new friends in Prague through LGBT events

🌷German (~C1)

German is the language I've been passionate about for the longest. I think I'd like to live/study in Germany someday. Long term: Broaden my vocabulary, speak more confidently, start reading poetry, keep reading, maybe write something? Short term: Finish reading Das Fjordland, practice writing in a journal, practice talking to myself

Spanish (~B1-B2?)

I learned Spanish until I graduated high school. I know it fairly well passively, and I feel like it would be a shame to forget. On the other hand, I strongly associate it with school and grades, which makes me nervous about using it. Long term: Maintenance, pretty much Short term: watch tv shows/youtube videos

Esperanto (~B1-B2?)

I started learning Esperanto in 2021 during Covid, mostly just to have fun. I think it's super cool, and I'd love to get a chance to meet other Esperantists. Long term: Go to an Esperanto congress, enter Esperanto writing contests Short term: Find and participate in Esperanto events online/in person, practice writing in journal/talking to myself

Polish (~B1?)

I'm learning Polish mostly because of my partner. Their dad used to only speak to me in Polish. Besides that, I'm interested in Polish rock music and reading in Polish (especially The Witcher). Long term: Read, strengthen grammar + vocabulary, learn false friends from Czech better, converse more confidently Short term: attend summer course in Poland, write in journal

Russian (~A2-B1??)

There are books I want to read in Russian, and those are my primary motivation! However, there's also a lot of music I like in Russian, and I'm also interested in it because of how much I understand already. Long term: Read Monstrum by Pavlina Grad, read the 3rd book of The Witcher, speak well enough to impress my friend (he is unfortunately hard to impress), get through Russisch in Übungen Short term: Get through the first part of Russisch in übungen, read the first chapter of The Witcher, read 50 pages of Monstrum

toki pona (~A2-B1???)

I started learning toki pona in 2021 because of covid. I don't particularly have a goal, but I'd love to try and use it to talk to people! I feel like I'm stagnating a bit on my own. Long term: no real goal here, just fun! maybe conversation? Short term: start to join calls on discord, send a message in toki pona, engage in biweekly translation challenges

Korean (~A1-A2)

I'm curious about Korean because it's really different from the languages I already know! I really love the way Korean grammar is structured, and it always makes me happy to read something and understand. I have some Korean friends as well, and I hope to someday be good enough to talk to them a bit. I also am exploring Korean food a bunch lately -- I'm vegan, and I've found The Korean Vegan's videos inspirational for quite some time. Long term: Be able to read books, talk to friends Short term: Read a short story in Korean (& learn vocab), write a journal entry

Scottish Gaelic (~A1-A2)

A friend and I agreed to learn Scottish Gaelic a few years ago, but he gave up quite fast. I feel obligated to continue, even though I'm not all that good at it (fathast :P). Long term: Be able to read books in Gaelic, read The Little Prince Short term: Complete the Explorer section on Duolingo, write a journal entry, make a presentation about myself

Zulu (~A1)

I became curious about Zulu after reading Trevor Noah's memoir Born a Crime, and at the same time a friend of mine also got interested (although I don't recall precisely how). A third friend of mine ended up actually taking a Zulu course at the same time! The end result was a pact to study together. Long term: Be able to use Zulu with my friend who also is learning it, work through the resources I have (duolingo & TY zulu) Short term: (longer short-term) complete the Rookie section on Duolingo, do a lesson in my TY zulu book

Japanese (~A1)

I have a lot of friends who are very interested in Japanese. One of them is also a linguist and has repeatedly told me about how elegantly structured the language is... Fundamentally, I have given into peer pressure. Long term: Be able to have basic conversations with my friend, read a bilingual book of short stories in Japanese Short term: Complete Busuu A1 course, make a presentation about myself + what I like/dislike + what I do every day

[gender-thoughts]

December 28 2012:

CW: dysphoria

For the past week and a half something has been on my mind. Something that I find awkward to talk about. I feel entirely too vulnerable talking to anyone about it. In fact I start to tear up. That's how uncomfortable it makes me. So I'm here to write about it. I think that unless I let it out a little I won't be able to get past it. So here goes.

Since about May I have been wearing strictly sports bras, sometimes two at a time. For the following reasons, A: they're way more comfortable. B: I don't feel like I'm on display when I wear them. C: they strap me down well enough that I can wear shirts I normally wouldn't be able to wear. In general I try to avoid my chest area. I like to pretend it's not really there.

Mom started buying me sports bras in the second grade, mostly because I was a chunky little thing, but I hated them. At first I was too oblivious for it to bother me, but by third grade it was war against that stupid thing. It was always sticking out from the collar of my shirts and just ruining my life in general. By the fifth grade I was wearing a real life bra. Mom dragged me to the department store to be measured and I wanted to kill everyone with my eyes. At this point in my life I wanted nothing more than to be exactly like everyone else. Fat chance, I was about a foot taller and 15 pounds heavier than all of my tiny, twig-like friends. I refused to let my mother check to see which bras fit best. I fumed in the dressing room and refused to look in the mirror. At that moment I hated everyone and everything. None of my flat chested, stick framed friends had to go bra shopping. I equated having to wear a bra with unwanted change, and I hated my body. I just wanted to be carefree like my friends. I wanted to wear a messenger bag slung over the middle of my chest without worrying how the other girls would make fun of me. 

I refused to talk to anyone about anything to do with my changing body. I was angry a lot of the time. 

It wasn't until the middle of eighth grade that it suddenly wasn't considered gross to have boobs, it was maybe even preferred. My friend's bodies finally began to resemble my own a bit more. I still refused to acknowledge any part of my own body and I felt uncomfortable participating in sleepover talks about bras and boobs and periods. I did everything I could to pretend mine didn't exist. 

By the time I hit high school it wasn't such a hot topic anymore. I didn’t have many close friends and the friends I did have didn’t talk about any of that with me, so I was able to just sort of ignore all of my issues.

My sister came home from her mission around the same time I had made my sports-bra-only habit. I was tired of not being able to wear shirts I liked that fit me everywhere but the chest. I love button up shirts, but if I wanted to avoid the about-to-bust-open-look or having to awkwardly re-button the buttons over my chest I had to strap myself down with a good, tight sports bra. My sister kept looking at me like I was doing something wrong, or weird. Why do you keep wearing those sports bras like that? You have a uniboob. I couldn’t really give her a straight answer. She was convinced that I was a double D and was dying to get me into Victoria's Secret to buy bras that fit me properly. Horrified, I said no over and over. Then she made me a bet. We would go in and just try some on, if she was wrong she would leave me alone, if she was right I would let her buy me new bras. I was determined to prove her wrong. But I didn't. She pushed me into Victoria's Secret (a store I never wanted to set foot in) and we both felt sufficiently awkward while she sat in the dressing room averting her eyes as I tried on a few different sizes. Only the last one fit. I knew it, she beamed.  My heart sank. 

As we waited in the line to check out I felt my ribs get tight and my stomach tied in knots. I focused on the floor tiles and popped my knuckles over and over. It was all I could do not to cry. I was disgusted by everyone in the place, but especially myself. Only a few minutes later she had texted my whole family letting them in on her recent triumph. When I got home I wanted to die. I went to my room and cried.

After crying, I realized there was something wrong. All this time, nearly five years, I thought I had finally come to terms with my body and learned to accept myself the way I am. I have struggled with my body image on and off,  but until now I thought I had it more or less under control. 

This all happened last friday and I've been agonizing over it ever since. It's a hard thing to talk yourself down from. I thought I was safe, but I was wrong. And I'm utterly disappointed in myself. I wish I could say that I'm writing this because I came to find peace with it and I have some kind of insight or wisdom to share from the experience, but that's just not so.

I'm still struggling, but I'm hoping that the process of writing my thoughts, fears and weaknesses will help me come to terms with it and be able to accept my body the way it is and not always have these hideous thoughts lurking in the back of my mind.

I'm trying.

(me with two sports bras on)

[kkazutorass]

TC UPDATE

< After so long a update finally i’m sorry, I feel like my feelings for my TC arn’t as strong as it used to be. Like im still nervous around him ( like i can’t hold eye contact / look up at him ) but I can speak confidently, I just don’t think i’m into him like before. But the feelings are still there a bit whenever he gives me validation, so i’ll say some things that has happened with him things I remember >

A = ME

D = TC

F = OTHER FEMALE CLASSMATE

so firstly one of my friends found this ball and we were all going back to class ( the whole class after doing something ) and my TC ( d ) wanted to hold onto the ball incase it was someone else’s and my friend who found it was saying not fair because he took it yk, then D was like “come get it off me then?” he was talking to all of us and lowkey I was like I should because this is my chance but I didn’t of course because I was nervous AF which was my fault 😭

and today so he was like ‘how are you’ to all of us waiting in-front of the door to open it and no one said anything LOL i was gonna say something but TBH i don’t know why i didn’t < actually I have a feeling he didn’t say how are you he said something else but i can’t remember because if he said how are you i’m pretty sure i would’ve replied ) . Anyways so he opened the door and i think he was gonna go first because i could tell he was pushing his body to go first but i went in first not knowing then i saw how he was suppose to come in first so i said “Oh sorry sir” then he said “You should be A” I DONT KNOW WHY I FOUND THAT SO— AHHH okay anyways my friend was asking if he graded our paper yet, then he said no and was laughing and saying he will do it soon then i was like “You need a better schedule” then he agreed with me 😭 i don’t know why i feel like i’m mean to him but in a nice way

I have a feeling he thinks I don’t like him because when he comes i don’t use my body language you know look him in the eye and stuff Or he thinks i’m good at my work so he doesn’t feel the need to help me? Unless I ask because he goes to other people without them asking but i’m pretty sure it’s just his way of checking up he actually does do it to me sometimes especially after i ask for help he comes to me often maybe knowing i actually do need help

i kept this in my drafts for a while but idk whenever he comes and he tries to help me ( d ) i’m like i don’t need help idk why i do that like it’s my chance bc some lessons he dosent even come to help i shouldve let him help instead of saying no

and i’m so annoyed with the boys in my class because i think they like him that’s why they annoy him so he goes to them for most of the lesson i wish the boys in my class were just quiet and didn’t need help so d wouldn’t have to keep going to them multiple times and he always goes to f my classmate everytime she’s very pretty like i think most guys in my class like her looks wise but i could tell she likes d a lot and he always goes to her and helps her without her asking like she dosent need to ask and he will ALWAYS go to her every lesson and laugh and stuff ( she dosent just ask about the work ) she’s lucky i don’t even want a relationship with d like that ( bc if i’m being realistic it just can’t happen ) so i just want to be close with him friends wise

[nanamomi]

✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧 Welcome to my official get-to-know-me page or should I call “rant page” lol. I don’t usually post stuff about my personal life online but maybe you’ll find something strange abt me here :> Take note, some of my posts may or may be not directed at anyone. I will not reveal who I am pointing towards to as this may lead to misunderstanding AGAIN lmao.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: Here are some random stuff about me :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

˙˚˙ I was born with a skin tag on my ear. “Wtf is that?” It’s an extra skin that kinda looks like a smol pinky. I was so insecure about it before and decided to hide it behind my hair. Back in elementary, it’s required for u to wear a ponytail or headband😭… It was something that bothers me a LOT so I got it removed at 6th grade as a graduation gift. I waited so long for this moment to happen since I finally had the chance to wear a ponytail without worrying too much

˙˚˙ Are you currently writing a book? Yes! I’ll publish my book after I revise the last chapter. Since ur a special follower, u can get a sneak peak with the title :D I’m still making sum few changes abt it but I already have thought of a draft— “I Am An Introvert So Don’t Mess With Me.” This title kinda sounds a little off but I’ll try working on it. Introverts nowadays are determined to be “weak” cause many of us believe that if you’re alone, you have no role in society. In this book of mine, you’ll explore different experiences I had as an introvert my entire senior year. SHOULD I SELL THEM OR GIVE THEM OUT FOR FREE?? Any thoughts 💭

˙˚˙ What makes a person a “friend?” umm.. I have my own opinion about this. To whoever’s reading this, I hope you don’t get offended in any way. SOOO before I answer this question, let me tell you a story ;-; There’s this one girl who I considered as my friend but I felt like she only saw me as a friend of convenience— which means pretending to be someone’s friend in order to use them for your purposes. She messages me whenever she needs to rant about her so called “Ex” which is one of my friends too. As her “friend,” I mean acquaintance rather… I did what is right— told her to cut him off. After months of being her acquaintance, she suddenly treated me like TRASHHHH. I know she was bullied by sum mean girls during highschool but now she became the mean girl towards me lmaooo.. This generation kinda sucks for me since many people are trying their best just to fit in, no offense. I think you can only consider someone a friend if they’re genuine and consistent.

˙˚˙ Are you having a hard time to start a conversation and make friends? Yeah. I’m not used to be so extrovert-ish ;-; Though I may be a good listener, there are times that I just want to be on my own bubble. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it when someone tries to approach me, but it just scares that the person I trust the most becomes my enemy. MY TRUST ISSUES are so high to the point that I might break your heart 😭. I don’t want that to happen tho. There are times that I js get scared and want to be careful w my surroundings. I’m so tired of having problems bro 🥲

˚˙ If you’re an introvert, why are you so active when it comes to acads/reporting? OKAY.. so there’s a huge difference between being shy and being an introvert. Most of us are confused between the terms but for me, an introvert can be vocal if they want to. I have two separate lives: school life and personal life. I am a different person when it comes on both sides. There are various types of introverts and I consider myself as a confident one 🤓. Because of continous reading and binge-watching stories, I’ve adapted many personal skills that made me successful in my overall academics. For example, my love for watching MSA videos allowed me to have a skill of public speaking. Personally, I am not a fan of talking in a crowd full of people but because of the inspiring stories, I am here today :DD BUT TO BE HONEST, I still have that anxiety inside of me whenever I try to speak in front 😭. I js know how to look confident, that’s all :’’3

˙˚˙ I get socially drained most of the time. If you notice me not talking, that means I need to recharge. I don’t like initiating conversations with a smol percentage of social battery. I swearrr!! I love meeting new ppl but I hope they don’t mind if I’m inconsistentz