#so i think it'll be all good

[zipquips]

day one is basically over! i think the adderall is wearing off? i'm getting tired and feeling less energetic

i was so so so not prepared for the amount of energy or motivation i was going to have, holy shit. i was littlerally bouncing, lmao. i felt focused but like a little all over the place in the sense that i had so much motivation and like all of the parts of my life kind of felt like a mess and something i should fix and i couldn't just pick one. i also believed i could do more than one which is why i ended up baking and calling so many people at the same time even though i know so well that i cannot talk on the phone and bake/cook anything more complex than pasta, lmao

that like sort of worked but also didn't and as soon as i started realizing how abnormally long baking was taking me i started to kind of panic on my own and this was also the point where some people i called were sort of telling me that they were concerned or against the adderall decision which sort of snowballed into me kind of worrying that the adderall wasn't helping, was making things worse, or that i didn't actually have adhd and i was just a normal person getting high

absolutely none of that was true though because as soon as i stopped speed running all of the socialization i had been putting off due to lack of motivation and once i sat myself down on one task i was fine. like that was the easiest bit of productivity i've ever done. my head has never been so quiet before, lmao

so like ig the lessons i've learned for day two are:

multitasking is a no

some kind of structure or plan for what to do during the day would be good

this is all a very normal experience when first taking adderall

i am adjusting to the meds

i should maybe exercise when i start feeling incredibly energetic rather than choosing not to

okay it's day one on adderall :)

[bixels]

tarpit site.

[gnomewithalaptop]

Rereading the Our Worlds at War tie-in again and God I miss their friendship every day

[buttercupshands]

rewatched Kurogiri's holiday story from ultra impact (not related to sketch at all)

(but it did inspire me)

on another note

finally!!

[neunhofferart]

I guess now is as good as time as any to tease you guys-- there were more deleted scenes/extended sequences that got cut down in the final version of season 2 of Jurassic World Chaos Theory....

...and I may have requested a couple of them for my storyboard reels 🤭

[mrmeepsmadmind]

starbee comic,,, if u get the reference then u understand a pivotal part of how i see their dynamic

Bee x scream is like if that one rlly bubbly & makes herself seem ditzy and cute girl to everyone to have friends who'll dump her the moment they get a bf & she's probably on the spectrum but no one notices or cares to delve deeper into her bcs she's so 'cute' & smiles & masks to be liked ( bcs she doesnt want anyone to delve deeper into her personality & realize shes actually Not perfect miss lil daddys girl purity ring ) was forced to be stuck with The Bitchtm intimidating weird girl who's also undiagnosed but everyone knows there's Something with her & treated her differently in a way they Think is discreet but She Knows & no matter how hard she tries, everyone's gonna have this Undertone with her so she's just given up on trying to seem pleasant to everyone but still desperately wants to be loved & has a slight clue as to why ppl keep hating her even when she tries for them not to for once but still can't get an answer bcs her life sucks and diagnosis is expensive and she has no time and she's - omg why is this bitch (bee) making her notes all cute with big colorful fonts & organized by alphabetical shade marker collection haha she's so weird (<- is Also weird bcs hes starscream). im gonna ask to borrow one of her favorite markers (the baby blue one) and dry it out while she stares at me with big wet eyes trying to find a polite way to put 'im gonna kill you' in a sentence

[chonkymoth]

My hare-brained theory is that Sean is going to die due to his heart issues, excessive drinking, etc but thanks to Laszlo now having a grasp on how to reanimate the dead...well, you get the idea

[hychlorions]

they match :')

[ihamtmus]

i'm going through something very hard and i'd appreciate it if you guys could pray for me 🙏

[littlejazzy]

👻 Spooky Shows For Spooky Littles 👻

The season is changing, and with it, Halloween approaches! Here's a list of shows that are thematically appropriate, viewable for free on Archive.Org or free with ads on Tubi! It's organized kinda sorta from shows for the littlest little to things that might be more appropriate for middles - but don't let that stop you from exploring anything that looks interesting!

Super Monsters (2017) [S1] [S2] [S3] [x] [x] [x] [x]

The children of various monsters learn lessons and how to use their monster powers! (The [x]s are various specials that occur after the main series)

Ruby Gloom (2006)

Staring the titular Ruby Gloom, this is a really cute show about her and her slightly spooky friends!

A Pup Named Scooby Doo (1988)

Adapted for a younger audience, Mystery Inc. is similarly aged down in this extremely cartoony and silly animated series!

Sabrina The Animated Series (1999)

Admittedly, Sabrina is pretty cutesy, but she is a witch, so watch as this fact gets her into hijinks and adventures with her friends and talking cat! (Tubi Mirror)

Tutenstein (2003)

A 10 year old mummy is brought back to life after 3,000 years and has to adjust to modern day! Heavy focus on Egyptology and fairly accurate portrayals of Egyptian deities and myths!

Growing Up Creepie (2006)

Adopted and raised by a family of bugs, Creepie is a girl who's entering middle school and learning how to interact with humans! There's a heavy focus on bugs and fun facts about them!

Bump in the Night (1994)

A stop-motion cartoon, Mr. Bumby is a monster that lives under the bed, who at night has adventures with Squishington (a slime monster who used to live in the toilet tank) and Molly Coddle (a ragdoll)! (Tubi Mirror)

The Addams Family (1972)

An animated adaptation based off of the original comics, watch the spooky family and their kooky adventures!

Beetlejuice: The Animated Series (1987)

Follow the adventures of Lydia Deetz and her best friend from the Netherworld, Beetlejuice! (The archive is only for the first season - as of posting this, the full series is available to stream, with ads, on Tubi)

Freaky Stories (1997)

An animated anthology show hosted by two, gross live-action puppets!

Scooby Doo, Where Are You? (1969)

(Only available on Tubi) The original show that started it all, watch Scooby and the gang explore spooky places and solve mysteries!

Making Fiends (2009)

Follow Vendetta as she makes fiends, while Charlotte makes friends!

The Real Ghostbusters (1986)

This show follows the adventures of the Ghostbusters after the events of the original film! Some episodes are silly and cartoony while others can get a bit more intense and serious. The last few seasons are a spin-off show for younger audiences.

Extreme Ghostbusters (1997)

Follow-up to The Real Ghostbusters, this show follows the adventures of a new team of 'busters... in the extreme 90s!

Archie's Weird Mysteries (1999)

Watch Archie and his friends explore the strange and sometimes spooky secrets of Riverdale... but, erm, not like the latest adaption, lol (Tubi Mirror)

The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy (2001)

After losing a bet to two children, the Grim Reaper is forced to be friends with them - mayhem ensues! (due to how the files are named, the series is scrambled, but is otherwise all there)

Tales from the Cryptkeeper (1999)

Animated anthology series of kids and teens facing spooky situations! (Tubi Mirror)

Nightmare Ned (1997)

Ned has frequent nightmares based off of what happened to him during the day!

Monster Force (1994)

A group of teenagers from the futuristic year of 2020 fight monsters and creatures using high tech gadgets!

Roswell Conspiracies: Aliens, Myths and Legends (1999)

(Only available on Tubi) Aliens live among us, evolving into what we know to be monsters, myths, and legends - A man named Logan joins the Global Alliance, a shady government organization, to unravel conspiracies and to do good!

GhostWriter (1992)

A live-action show, a team of children gather clues and evidence to solve neighborhood mysteries and crimes... with the help of a ghost who can only communicate with them by altering written text! (due to how the files are named, the first 9 episodes are out of order)

Gravity Falls (2012)

Twins Dipper and Mabel Pines explore the mysteries of the titular town of Gravity Falls! (if you have the space, probably make a copy of this one, lol)

Eerie, Indiana (1991)

Live-action show that follows new teenage resident of Eerie, Indiana, Marshall as he finds out that his new town is, well, eerie!

Goosebumps (1995)

Each episode/two-parter is based off of R.L. Stine's books, this live-action anthology show will give you, well, goosebumps! (as a bonus, here's pdfs and e-pubs of every single book - enjoy!)

Are You Afraid of the Dark? (1992)

The live-action spooky anthology show of all time, this show is perfect for middles ready to get scared! Listen and watch the Midnight Society gather around the campfire to tell spooky tales!

📼 Enjoy your shows! And remember - if you really like something, you should probably back it up! 📼

[the-sunlit-earth]

a lot of clipping to fix, but hey I got it moving at least! I'll get the Telvanni robe properly physic'd if it's the last thing I do >:0

[raiiny-bay]

made this & then realized i wanted to make something else instead

[front-facing-pokemon]

[mbirnsings-71]

something something having a new hyperfixation and now having several new WIPs about it AND just starting to draw certain characters from it just yesterday uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah-

[plushie-lovey]

FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.

Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!

[angeart]

Howwwww did you angst the world tour?? 🎀

this question made me giggle so much oh i'm glad you asked :3c there was so much yummy grian angst in the hc world tour!

it's all about grian and his penchant for destruction. he doesn't even mean to! he's not trying to be pesky; quite the opposite. he's curious but restrained, trying to be good, trying to follow instructions. he's not malicious at all! he's just there to see what people were up to, open and friendly and curious, eager to look and learn and praise. not a bad intention in sight... and yet things seem to break wherever he goes. everything he touches goes wrong.

the guilt churns, acidic and overwhelming, and grian's miserable. why is he like this? he's trying so hard, why is this the only way he can ever be? why can't it stop?

spoilers for grian's world tour video below <3

plantie pointed out to me how, during the tour of scar's train, when grian got rid of scar's arrows—the glitched ones that doc put there—he was so desperate to point it out after scar just glossed over it. as if he wanted to show that he can do something good. he can be helpful, he can fix things instead of just breaking everything.

but then we have all the other things, right? grian can't escape it.

when he was with etho and the mushroom farm exploded, he sums it up in a wretched if confused apology: "i'm so sorry. the two times i tried to use it, i broke it :( and created a water source floating— which i don't know how it happened— and flung the TNT, which i really don't understand—"

they move on, but it's so clear it lingers.

etho isn't blaming him. he's amused and brushes it off and moves along, unbothered, but grian himself can't wrap his head around it. about that propensity to breaking things, even unintentionally. the way nothing is safe around him.

he tells etho: "i can't stop thinking about your mushroom farm. why does everything i touch break, in new and unexpected ways?"

(not to mention when etho's showing him frogger and grian plays, almost instantly etho goes: "uh-oh, the game's broken", with a little huff of laugh. it wasn't exactly tied to anything grian did, but still something i wanted to point out, since grian was there for it <3)

and then grian goes to zedaph, right?

the very first game zedaph shows him. the very first. grian plays the way he was told to, the way he was meant to, and— he breaks it.

zedaph just laughs and moves them on.

(just sprinkling in a side note that zedaph's furnace minigame also didn't seem to work the way it should've—)

by the time grian gets to pearl's, it's starting to be a pattern that's so clearly eating away at him, making him anxious. he doesn't want it to happen again!

and yet.

pearl invites him to play her wordle game, and grian mindlessly goes and pushes the wrong button trying to start it... instantly stepping away with a quiet groan of a dread-filled "...oh-" followed by: "i just— ruined it already."

there's something about the mood switch. the way he seems more restrained and tame, silently upset with himself, trying so hard not to mess things up further. questioning why this is happening again. why he can't stop making it happen.

he walks over to the reset game button and asks, carefully: "can i press reset? is it gonna hurt? 🥺👉👈"

pearl reassures him he can, with a sigh noting that it'll just take a while.

there's an almost hysteric laugh from grian, followed by an exasperated, upset scream. "everything i touch breaks! when i went to e— i broke etho's thing when i went to— not frogger, his— his mushroom farm i— it blew up."

"you blew up his mushroom farm?? how? what did you do?!"

"yeah, i— i broke zed's game, instantly, pretty much, it's—"

"oh my gosh :("

"sorry 🥺"

pearl is quick to reassure him, though. "well, luckily for you, this is— you doing that (pushing the wrong button) does not break the game. it's just, you now have to wait for it to reset."

she makes sure grian knows that he didn't mess up anything terribly here. he didn't break pearl's game. it's okay! it's fine!

and then grian right clicks to open the book, and instead makes bonemeal pop out of a composter.

i think at this point pearl is a little bit taken aback by how wrong everything really seems to be going around grian. she makes sure to say, "it's fine," again, just so grian won't start worrying about it all again. "you're clicking on everything that people do not usually click on today. but it's okay. it's still not broken! it's not broken, it's alright, it's okay— i've got failsaves for people like you."

it's so sweet how she really tries to soothe him— and yet she can't help but let out that last remark.

people like you.

those few words surely lodge in more than all the reassurances. they're like splinter, proving grian right.

eventually, he gets to skizz.

during the tour of skizz's base, skizz shows him a horse statue and starts talking about how he lost his first horse at an event that grian was also a part of. and grian's stomach instantly sinks.

he asks hushedly, a bit confused, trying to remember: "was i there?"

skizz laughs. "you were absolutely there, dude."

which leads grian to ask, uneasily: "did i do it?"

skizz waves his hands, quick to easily reassure that no! that's not it, grian didn't do it!

grian lets out an oh with such palpable relief, and goes on to explain about how, "i remember witnessing it, but sometimes it's hard to disentangle whether i did it or not. coz i tell you what, on this tour i've broken everyone's stuff."

nobody was upset with grian when things broke, but here he is, several hermits down, still unable to leave it to rest. because it's him. it's him who did all of that, somehow, and he didn't mean to, but it doesn't matter. it happened anyway.

and now he can't even tell what is and what isn't his fault anymore.

the guilt is deep rooted, leaving anxious assumptions and dark, jagged precipices. how much did he destroy? what else should he be feeling guilty about? how far does this go?

he keeps breaking things, and it's such a blur that he can no longer tell what is and what isn't his fault.

the tour continues, and he delves into skizz's pyramid. and it's just— it's just a tunnel to swim through. nothing to mess up, besides potentially dying to suffocation, right?

and yet you can hear skizz shrilly exclaim: "oh he's going to end up breaking something!!"

and, (plantie's words: ) grian hearing that and just wondering, is that all i'm good for? is that all i'm known for? is that all i am?

there's no room for doubt; not really. that is what grian does, all the time, whether he wants to or not. he breaks stuff. he just— he doesn't mean to. and this tour is one big show of how powerless he is against it. (how everyone expects it from him anyway.)

despite it all, grian perseveres, trying out skizz's game, stubbornly dedicated and trying to win. (to pass; to have something to be proud of, at least—) and he gets to the powdered snow section.

there, he jumps across to a pathway that he was meant to circle to through the snow instead.

it's not breaking anything, not really. not even the rules. it's not cheating! he's just— he just did something skizz did not expect, but that was entirely possible within the game's design, even if not intended. he exploited it to his advantage; a risky, tricky shortcut.

and yet skizz remarks with a laugh: "this is what grian does! he breaks games!"

no matter what grian does... is that all he'll ever be?

is that all they'll see?

he fails getting through skizz's game, is thanked for play-testing, praises it all, they talk it all away, and...

and then grian goes to tour mumbo's base.

and fails to even die properly to his llama—

and then mumbo shows him his archive machine, and instantly panicks when grian gets curious about it, begging him not to touch anything. and grian says: "your stomach just fell through didn't it?" and after mumbo's immediate agreement, he adds: "and rightfully so. coz, almost everything i've touched on this tour has broken."

there's not a sliver of surprise to mumbo's anxious rushed: "yeah, yeah yeah! please stop now." because, of course things have broken. of course what grian touches is bound to go wrong. of course—

and then mumbo very carefully tells grian what to do with the machine.

grian does as he's told.

mumbo looks up and pauses, a frown crossing his face as he takes it in. he notes that grian probably did it too fast—

(something went wrong)

(something broke)

mumbo says: "i can't believe you come along and every single thing in my base starts [going wrong/breaking/malfunctioning]"

and then grian mysteriously ends up with an extra book from mumbo's machine, much to mumbo's dismay. grian's confused, cogs spinning as he tries to figure out what did he mess up this time to result in this.

it's clear mumbo wants grian away from his machine. it's not safe. (grian isn't safe.)

"maybe just give that to me and maybe just step away from the contraption. and then— maybe just leave me to—"

grian's upset and bewildered voice cuts in: "i didn't do anything wrong this time :(("

he's trying so hard.

he's trying so hard to be good and do things right and not mess anything up.

(it isn't working.)

(it's never bound to work, is it?)

mumbo ushers him away, and ends up showing him another cool invention—an elevator. except the second mumbo hits the button, a creeper shows up and explodes it. (it's midday.) (it wasn't even meant to be there.)

this one isn't grian's fault at all, but with everything that's happened— well, it's easy enough to link it to grian's presence. like a bad luck omen.

apprehensively, grian asks if the elevator broke, and mumbo—a bit bewildered by the reality of it—says that no, it seems to still work. "amazingly," he tacks on, disbelieving.

grian's relieved. "ohh, i thought we were in big trouble there!"

besides himself, mumbo anxiously agrees: "augh. i was like, if every single creation that i show breaks in some fashion, i'm just gonna quit."

because this isn't normal. none of this is, least of all everything at once. it simply doesn't happen.

(not when grian isn't there, anyway.)

mumbo notes that he needs to work on his lighting, and grian nods wisely saying it's a perpetual issue, but the anxiety is digging its talons in now, unrelenting. (what else is going to go bad in grian's presence? what else will he mess up? what else will he break? why is he like this?)

another remark that comes after this is mumbo's nervous: "i've actually just built up the automatic sorter which does this—which you're not gonna touch. we're banned from touching any redstone contraptions!"

and what can grian do but oblige? (but he can at least look, right?)

but does it ever change anything?

does it matter?

-

at the end of the day, the others don't think too much about it.

they all say their part, pass their judgment, wave their hands, dismiss, move on. it doesn't keep them up at night.

... i think it might keep grian up at night.

a cacophonous collection of word snippets, aimed at him or woven around him, digging under his skin until it bleeds. a noose of inescapable fate, a tightening band around his chest that promises he can only ever be one thing:

a vessel for destruction.

it doesn't matter if he wants to be.

shackles and chains and a cosmic inevitability written into his skin, etched into his bones, tangled into his bloodstream. and an ever-rising guilt like stormy sea, far above his head now, drowning him.

(maybe he's not meant to be near other people and their things.)

(maybe he's not meant to touch games that were constructed with so much effort and love and passion poured into them.)

(maybe he shouldn't—)

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bonus screenshots from discord DMs (with extra sprinkles of hmtb mentions):

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bonus hmtb quotes because i kept thinking about it:

He always destroys the things he loves most, after all.

and:

He destroyed everything he touched, and when there was nothing left, he destroyed the only remaining thing: himself.

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