#so i simply know i would despise the work and never post it lol

[perfectlyoongi-main]

the fact i love horror and don't have anything ready for halloween should put me in jail

[blueariel3-blog]

Only Her

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

A/N: Hello! This is the first fic I'm posting so let me know if you like it! I had so much fun writing it and I always have ideas in my head for stories, so I thought it was time I finally posted one lol.

The autumn breeze was chilling to the bone once you had been exposed to it. No amount of thick sweaters, fluffy scarves, or wool gloves could keep the bite out once the cold really settled in. Tom blew a warm breath into his hands ( as warm as he could manage in the current weather) and cursed the skies. He would not be trekking through this treacherous weather if it weren’t for the bubbly girl skipping in front of him. 

She had asked him to accompany her to Hogsmeade this weekend and no matter how hard he tried to find the cold, unappealing mask he had perfectly molded, he knew there was no way he could turn her down. She was his opposite in every aspect and as much as it didn’t make sense, it also did. 

He tried to keep his usual schemes far away from her innocent ears, though she was not oblivious to his extracurricular activities. He supposed one of the things he enjoyed most is that she never judged him or tried to talk him out of his plans. She simply took him for what he was and loved every part of him. 

“Oh Tom, look! The snowflakes are so pretty!” She beamed as she caught one in her hand, shoving it toward the grumpy boy following behind her. He merely grimaced and attempted to at least look half-interested. She continued admiring the puffs of feather-light ice, paying no attention to what was in front of her, trusting her boyfriend to watch out for her completely. 

Tom sometimes wondered how different things would be had she not been assigned his partner in charms and been forced to attend several study sessions together. If she hadn’t insisted on working together as much as possible and making sure their assignments had no errors, would he be further along in his plans? 

He had been delaying releasing the basilisk for months out of fear for her. Only her, no one else he cared enough about to even consider their well-being. His closest friends had taken his distraction as an excuse to delay plans and stop attending meetings altogether. He knew he needed to make a move soon, but he also knew he could postpone it a little longer. 

“You ought to be careful, the bridge is frozen and you could easily slip.” Despite the lack of warmth in his tone, his message was well-intended and he knew she understood that. She simply giggled and held out her hand to him, allowing his large hands to encompass her small ones and keep her balanced. 

Although he sometimes found it tedious to always make sure She was in safe hands, he also secretly adored it. Sometimes he got tired of the constant anger and despise in his head, the blood on his hands, the nagging feeling of never being enough, and simply let thoughts of her overwhelm him. 

“Look, the Three Broomsticks has their lights on!” Tom reigned in the urge to tell her that they always had their lights on, instead letting her indulge in the simplistic fun. She tugged him along hastily through the crowded streets and burst through the old wooden doors. Tom snarled at those who dared looked their way and lead the girl in his arms to the farthest table in the back. 

He was not embarrassed to be seen with her by any means. However, he absolutely despised the nasty looks she received for being with him. It wasn’t his own feelings he was concerned with; hers, on the other hand, were as delicate as a blooming flower. Tom sometimes wondered if it was the mean comments or the prospect of being humiliated that made the tears roll down her porcelain face. 

“What would you two like to drink?” Tom eyed the man who had come to take their order. He was tall and lanky, probably a graduate from last year or the one before who couldn’t find anything better to do with his time than smoke and drink. She batted her eyelashes and ordered two butter beers, unaware of the blush now coating the snob's cheeks. 

She never meant to flirt, she was just a charismatic being. Tom never reprimanded her for it and never pointed it out, not wanting her to lose the joyous nature about herself for the sake of others’ stupidity. 

“So, heard anything good lately?” Tome whipped his head back to her and narrowed his eyes. She loved to gossip. 

“I heard Walburga and Orion are engaged.” He had come to enjoy passing secrets with her. Only her. 

“They are not!’ She gasped. Tom nodded his head and smirked. “Are they not cousins?” 

“Well, yes, but the pureblood families tend to interbreed anyways. Their children will probably bear all sorts of problems.” She giggled and slapped a hand over her mouth, tho the tint to her cheeks never left. 

He caught himself almost smiling but quickly scowled as the man set their drinks down in front of them. He gave her an extra long pause, telling her to call out if she needed anything, and slowly walked away from the table. 

She took a long sip of her drink, sighing happily and looking at Tom expectantly. Truth be told, he hated the damn drink. But he indulged her in tasting it every time and then letting her have the rest. He always ended up dragging her back to the castle by the end of the day but he couldn’t deny her this simple pleasure. 

He grasped the glass and took a slow sip, swishing the amber liquid around in his mouth before swallowing. Tom hated the grime that coated his teeth every time he drank something sugary and made a mental note to brush his teeth as soon as he returned to his dorm. 

Once her drink was gone and Tom had taken three nanoscopic sips of his, she downed his as well. A glassy film covered her eyes and she began laughing uncontrollably, doubling over and clutching her stomach as the drink coursed through her. 

A rough hand on his shoulder brought Tom out of his watchful stare. Abraxas Malfoy stood next to him, a sort of excitement in his eyes as he beheld the giggling girl in front of him. Tom shook his disgusting hand off his shoulder and raised his eyebrows at his right-hand man. 

“Hello, you two! Well, don’t you look as lovely as ever!” She giggled again. 

“Why thank you, Abraxas!” 

“I was actually referring to our good friend Tommy here, but you look lovely as well.” A smirk adorned Abraxas face as she laughed even harder. If Abraxas had not been one of his most trusted followers then he would have obliviated him. He still might. 

“He does look quite lovely.” Tom simply rolled his eyes and motioned for the blonde boy to tell him whatever it was he interrupted their night for. 

“I just came to wish you both a good night and check-in.” The glint in his eyes told a different story and Tom almost pulled him into the alleyway to explain. But that would mean leaving her alone, and that was something he would never do. 

“Thank you, Abraxas. Oh! Are you excited about the quidditch game tomorrow?” Although she came from the yellow house, she adorned a different color for every game. She just liked to witness the excitement of someone winning. 

“I am, I hope you’ll be in green and black tomorrow?” He gave her a lazy grin as she nodded her head eagerly. She would not remember agreeing to that tomorrow and Abraxas would have quite the time teasing her when he sees her decked in blue instead. 

“Darling, did you want to go to the bookstore before the end of the night?” The light was dimming outside, but the shops were far from closing. With darkness came cold though, and Tom would not have her out in weather worse than this. 

“Oh, of course! I thought we could pick up a few to read before bed?” Abraxas snickered but quickly stopped once he saw the sharp look Tom diverted at him. Instead of answering, he simply shrugged his coat on and offered her a hand. He made sure her scarf was wrapped tight around her neck and her coat buttoned properly to seal in any remaining warmth. 

He held her hand tightly and led her down the snowy street. The small bookstore came into view and he quickly pulled them in to fight off the cold, leading her down to the section she adored the most. 

Tom watched as her fingers skimmed the old parchments as she lazily looked for a few to bring home. He felt bad the first few times they came because he couldn’t afford to buy her what she wanted, but she insisted she had enough money for the both of them. After many disagreements (they never argued because he couldn’t stand to make her upset), he finally accepted that she would buy them and he would read them to her. 

“I want this one, please.” Tom grabbed the rather thin book off the shelf and held it out for her to tuck in her arms. 

“Just one darling? We’ll go through that pretty quickly, maybe you should pick another one as well.” She hummed in agreement and pointed to three more books. He rolled his eyes humorously and pulled them from the shelf. 

With the books in hand, she set them on the counter and bounced on her toes as the clerk rang them up. She handed them the payment and Tom took the wrapped parcels along with her hand and made for the door. 

The walk back to the castle always felt longer, though he knew it wasn’t. Perhaps it was the impending time to sit by the fire with her curled into his side or the way her scent would wash over him and lull him to sleep. It could have been the sleep-filled nights he only seemed to find wrapped around her or the quiet the castle offered only at night. 

“Tom?” He hummed and turned to her. She had a contemplative look on her face. 

“Do you think you’ll ever get tired of me?” He stopped in his tracks, pulling her back when she attempted to carry on walking. His heart beat a thousand times faster than normal and if he thought about her words too long, he was sure it would beat out of his chest. 

He carefully placed one hand under her chin, tilting those glassy eyes to look directly into his. His sharp features made him intimidating to most people, but she was never afraid of the death that could shine in his eyes. 

“Why are you asking me that darling? Has someone said something?” Merlin forbid someone else had made her think this way. They would be dead within the hour. 

She shook her head quickly, long strands of hair falling in her eyes. She pushed them back with one hand and huffed, looking at the ground while she played with his fingers. 

“No, I was just thinking. I know I’m very different from you and your friends, and sometimes I just wonder…well…if I’m too different.” 

Tom would do anything to wipe the sorrow from her voice. He forced himself to take steadying breaths. The wrapped books thumped against the snow-packed ground as he freed both of his hands to grasp either side of her face. 

“Darling, I will not get tired of you. I enjoy the differences between us. I know I am not capable of the extent of feelings you have for me, but one day I hope to learn to feel those things.” He placed one of her hands against his beating heart, letting her feel how tilted his world had suddenly become. 

“Are you sure?” She batted those long, beautiful eyelashes up at him. 

“I am quite sure.” She nodded once, the smile taking on her face again as if she hadn’t just torn his world apart and put it back together in the span of two minutes. She grabbed the books from the ground and tucked them under one arm, wrapping the other around his and pulling him quickly towards the castle. 

There was no one else he would ever consider confessing his feelings for, good or bad. No one else could destroy him if they ever decided they were tired of him. No one else held his heart as she did. Only her. Only ever her. 

[infiniteimaginings]

Hii! I know ur requests are closed and stuff and I don’t even know if you’re still writing for this but could you do a Ravi ross x reader?? Maybe an enemies to lovers thing? 😭 I was also wondering if it could be set when bunk’d was taking place if that makes sense! If not that’s ok :) Have a nice day or night.(excuse my English not my first language lol)

Lost (Ravi Ross x GN!Reader)

Summary: You get lost with one of the only people at camp you can't stand and somehow it's your fault? Who's leaving the other if a bear comes? Who's taking the last life jacket and leaving the other? Whose dislike of the other is just intense admiration that they don't know how to handle? Pronouns: You/Yours Warnings: They talk about/to each other rudely, in depth about parental issues lol, but other than that none Word Count: 3.4k A/N: Me saying requests are (ever) closed just means I won't respond to them quickly or look at them closely. If it's open it means I can write for them and I know for a fact I'll be able to post it. Don't worry, you can still send stuff in, it's okay.

Camp Kikiwaka was a summer camp placed in the outskirts of Maine where a bunch of kids would either complain due the lack of cell service or would find comfort in one another through competitions. Most everyone at Camp Kikiwaka got along, that was mainly due to the counselors who pushed everyone together almost against their wills. That worked for almost everyone, almost.

You were extremely likable, people wanted you on their teams, in their campsites, at sleepovers, etc. You were a caring and sweet person who people got along with. This meant you were basically friends with everyone. That wasn’t true though, it wasn’t true because someone in the camp absolutely despised every single thing you did.

That person's name was Ravi Ross, someone who people enjoyed the company of. They thought he was intelligent, helpful, resourceful, and interesting as well as fun. He was also someone you decided to name ‘Try Hard Rich Boy’ because he tried way too hard for a camp where the main objective was to have fun. From the nickname alone, it’s clear the sentiment he shared for you was reciprocated.

Both of you understood the lack of bond the two of you had, and neither of you cared. Sure, you had the same friends, and you were friends with his siblings, but that didn’t matter. You tried to keep any sort of conversation short, and it lasted the majority of the time at camp.

You had to go to the Grizzly cabin one day to grab something from Xander for Zuri. The curly haired girl was currently busy on the docks and kindly bribed you to go instead, to which you agreed after much persuading. You took your time and knocked before letting yourself in due to a lack of response, Zuri said the item was in a bag with her name on it, it should’ve just been on one of the dressers. You knew Xander wouldn’t mind, so you shrugged and began your search.

As you looked you heard a bit of a heavy walk so you turned around and were met face to scales with Mrs. Kipling, one of your favorite campers of Camp Kikiwaka. You smiled gently and crouched down to her, gently using your finger to gently rub from her head to her mid-back. Mrs. Kipling let out a small hum of a hiss which you always took as enjoyment since she never did much other than scoot a bit closer to you. 

 You were so caught up with the seven foot long lizard that you didn’t notice one of the Grizzly cabin members walking in. 

The person scoffed and walked forward, “Can I help you?” They asked, the familiar accent filling your ears, causing your eye to lightly twitch in frustration.

You stood up and turned to look Ravi Ross in the eyes with a blank expression, “Nope.” You spoke simply, moving your head to the side and walking to the dresser on Xanders side, quickly snatching the bag and walking out the cabin, closing the door behind you.

Ravi rolled his eyes, not even looking back to where you walked away. He simply tilted his head down to Mrs. Kipling and frowned, “Traitor.” He spoke with a huff, walking towards the bathroom.

He never enjoyed the fact that his closest companion enjoyed your presence at all. He thought his best friend since his childhood would at least be on his side, but every day he is proven wrong.

Short exchanges, dirty looks, sighs of frustration, and that was it. That was your dynamic, which the two of you were fine with. Everyone else on the other hand, absolutely hated it.

All of your friends were sat in the middle of the cafeteria as you were helping a camper put up banners and Ravi was on the other side, clipboard in hand, giving other campers directions to follow.

Emma put her head down on the table, “I’m sick of this.” She groaned, lifting her head so her chin would sit on her forearms.

Xander nodded, rubbing circles into her back as he looked around the table. “There’s gotta be something we can do, right?” He asked, looking between the two sides of the cafeteria. “I mean, they’ve been so rude to each other since camp started.”

“I know!” Zuri interjected, “I’m tired of trying to get them to talk by sending them to do my chores.”

Everyone looked over at Zuri with confusion, Lou especially. “For once, I’m going to ignore that you just said that.” The brown haired girl said, turning to face Xander. “I don’t know how we would fix…” She paused, waving her hands in the two general directions, “that.”

Tiffany gently rocked herself, “I mean, if they were forced to be together, maybe that would help.” She suggested to which the table hummed in agreement.

“I know if Gladys told them to be partners on something, they wouldn't be able to argue it.” Jorge nodded to his own words, crossing his arms on the table, “That woman is scary.” He spoke lowly, staring down as if he was getting some sort of flashback to every horrifying thing their camp owner has ever done.

Xanders eyes brightened up and he stood up suddenly, “I have an idea.” He told everyone before rushing off, leaving the group at the table with no explanation.

Before the end of the day, Xander was walking into the cafeteria with the menacing woman herself. She looked…bored to say the least. 

“Campers!” She yelled out, causing the attention to be drawn to her immediately, which she genuinely enjoyed. She sighed before scratching at her leg that was shown under her cargo shorts, “We’re having a camp activity in a few days, something of the sorts of an ‘adventure quest’.” She told the campers surrounding her, air quotes around ‘adventure quest’. Gladys rolled her neck a bit before continuing, “I need two campers to go out to one of our set up camps about half an hour from here to gatherer the supplies from this list.” She explained, paper list in hand  

No one raised their hands so Xander coughed a bit, before whispering into Gladys’s ear.

The woman rolled her eyes and pointed to you, “You, and…” She trailed off, looking around before her sharp gaze set on Ravi, “you.” She spoke, pushing the list into Ravis chest before walking off, not letting either of you argue with the decision. “And you need to leave today! Supplies will be provided by your counselors!” She yelled out her final demand before her footsteps got quieter by the second.

The cafeteria was silent as they watched you and Ravi Ross glare at each other. Everyone was highly concerned whether either of you would return from this trip since neither of you are very team friendly with one another.

Not another word was passed between anyone as you and Ravi walked out, in silence, to your own cabins. Xander and Lou looked at each other, a bit of worry in their glance but they hoped it would work. You two were responsible enough to at least take care of one another if the time came, right?...Right?

Lou sent you on your way with a backpack full of camping gear just in case it took longer to get to the camping site. It was pretty late in the day so she wanted to be safe rather than sorry. She sent you off with ‘Be safe’, ‘Don’t kill each other’, ‘If you see the cases of sodas we hid there, bring back a few cans.”

When you finally walked out of your cabin, away from Lou’s smothering, you found Ravi getting the exact same treatment from Xander, an equally heavy bag on his back. The sight was honestly kind of funny, Xanders hands gripping Ravis shoulders as he gave him a stern ‘talking to’.

After the warnings ended, Ravi turned to go to your cabin, but noticed you were already ready, grin on your face. 

“What’s so funny?”

Your smile dropped, “Let’s just go.” You spoke, turning to the trail path, Ravi following with no complaints as he wanted to get this over with as quick as possible. The two of you passed by your friends and other campers waving you off and wishing you well, telling you both to be careful, which you both would try to.

Once you got to the path, you were met with a fork in the road almost immediately. Ravi suggested right, near the deeper portion of the forest where you’d be able to find more signs for where the campsite was. You suggested left where you guys were closer to the shore of the lake.

Both of you knew that either direction would lead to the camp site since it was just ahead, it wasn’t in the middle of the forest, but it wasn’t on the beach. 

After a bit of debating, you decided to choose Ravis way. His way was helpful as you saw the arrow signs directing you both to the site. You guys were making good time, the sun hadn’t set and you guys were almost there, you were almost hopeful.

Almost. And that almost was crushed the moment Ravi stopped walking.

You nearly ran into his back before stepping to the side, “Why’d you sto-” Your sentence was interrupted when you saw the large sign practically screaming at them ‘WAY BLOCKED, UNSAFE TRAIL’

Both of you groaned, and looked around for another way.

Ravi huffed, “If we go back without even getting to the camp in the first place, Gladys will have our heads.”

“You don’t think I know that?” You snarled, rolling your eyes. “Let’s just try to find a way around.” You spoke, stepping around to find a different trail that went the same direction, but was longer than the original one.

Walking, walking, and more walking with extremely heavy bags and short patience, wasn’t fun. 

“Why did we have to go this way specifically?” Ravi asked, knowing there were two other paths that could have potentially been better than this one.

“Because it’s easier.” you answered quickly, stepping forward, looking around more, using the lasting sunlight to get as far as you could.

“No, it’s no-”

You quickly turned around to face him, “Im sorry.” You spoke suddenly.

“You’re…sorry?” Ravi asked, clearly confused from his expression and tone of voice.

You nodded, “Yes, I’m sorry that you're such a control freak that you can't have anyone but yourself have their way.” You told him with a tilt of your head, a glare forming on your face.

Ravi gave you a sarcastic laugh before pushing past you, continuing to walk. “If you only have insults to spit out, just be quiet.” He told you without turning around.

You simply rolled your eyes before following him.

It was getting dark, dark enough to the point you guys couldn’t see where you were going and you felt like you were going in circles.

Ravi hit his forehead slightly, “You’re the reason that we’re lost, you don’t even know where this trail leads!” He suddenly groaned out, turning towards you, you thought. You couldn't tell, it was pitch black. 

“We’re in the woods, I think we have bigger problems than ‘who got us lost’.” You started, pulling your bag off your back to pull the tent. “Which is you by the way.”

“How is this my fault?” Ravi asked, doing the same as you, pulling out flashlights so neither of you would mess something up with the excuse of it being nightfall.

“You took over walking in the front, you lead us deeper into the woods.”

“And you didn’t want to speak up?”

You turned and faced him, puffing out your chest and holding up your finger, “If you have nothing but insults to say, just be quiet.” You repeated his words before rolling your eyes and turning back to putting up your tent. 

Ravi simply scoffed and went to get firewood, deciding not to talk to you because he felt as if his head was being constantly twisted past its limit when speaking to you.

Over time, he got the fire started, and pulled out some food to cook for you to choose from. You found a pretty good stone slab to set one of your prepared towels onto so you weren’t just placing food on the forest rocks. You also pulled a few snacks out of your bag, tossing a few to Ravi without a word. He turned to you with furrowed brows, confused by your sudden act but you were turned towards the fire, already beginning to fix up the food you guys had brought along.

You both sat in a tense but a more comfortable silence than either of you were used to.

Ravi broke the silence, looking up at you for a moment before looking back down to the snacks he just opened as he waited for you to be done with cooking. “I still think we could’ve taken another path.”

“And I’m still sure the path I chose is less deadly and still faster even though we’re camping out.” You answered, the light glistening in your eyes. 

There was no response to that, so you left it at that…until you heard rustling.

You looked back and noticed only one tent was set up, yours. Ravi seemed to be having trouble with his and you couldn’t even find it in you to laugh, because it really was late. 

“Do you need help?”

“No.”

“It’s been half an hour-”

“I don’t need your help, okay?”

You blinked at him before taking the food off the fire so you wouldn’t burn it. You stood up, brushing yourself off, “You are so incredibly stubborn, to the point that it’s ridiculous.” You stated, walking to him and helping him put in the rods, ignoring his protests. “You hate asking for help, even when you really need it.” You continued on, snapping at him to move to the other side to which he reluctantly followed. “You think you need to do everything yourself, fix everything yourself, for what?” You asked him, finishing the seemingly simple set up of his tent.

Ravi shook his head, choosing to ignore you, sitting on the side of the campfire. 

“It’s as if you think no one sees how hard you’re working, trust me everyone sees it.” You grumbled, crossing your arms as you walked to the other side of the camp fire, “It’s infuriating how hard you try with something you really don’t need to put that much effort in.”

“What about you? Huh?” Ravi interrupted, tilting his head, stepping closer to you. “You just blank on people.”

“Blank on-?”

“When you believe you failed at something, it’s like you go dark in your head .” Ravi explained, expression hardened. “What’s up with that?” He asked, raising a brow. “You do so well in everything and when you don’t get the results you want, you shut down.” 

You blinked at him and looked him up and down, “Why do you watch me so hard to notice that I get into my head?”

“Why do you observe me to the point you notice how hard I work?”

There was silence from the two of you, just a stare from across a dancing fire. A stare of two campers who believed they were comfortable in each other's hate, that they didn’t notice how much they really knew each other more than anyone.

Ravi seemed to be the person who spoke up more, which was surprising, but at the same time it wasn’t. 

He looked away, tongue poking the inside of his cheek, “I don’t ask for help because my parents weren’t much help.” He spoke, sniffling ever so slightly as a distraction to his far off gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“Me and the majority of my siblings are adopted.” He told you, finally turning to look back at you, not expecting your eyes to already be on him. "Since my parents are famous, they have to be gone a lot, so we had nannies.” He began to explain, swallowing harshly, “Those nannies took care of us more than our parents did.”

You furrowed your brows, “So, them sending you to camp…?”

“It's like another nanny situation.” He answered, sighing a bit. “We had nannies as we grew up, and our last nanny was our longest nanny, she was great.” He told you with a small smile, “She was there for years, and honestly was the best person who deserved only great things.” He explained to you fondly to which you listened. “She left so our parents could stay for good, but clearly, that didn’t last that long.”

Your expression formed into something Ravi couldn’t explain, he couldn’t tell if you were sad for him, felt sympathy, but the feeling was comforting since he never really talked to his own siblings about this.

“What I’m trying to say is that there’s a freedom you have when you feel as if you’ve been abandoned.” He swallowed harshly as he tried to explain, “It just kind of sucked because I already felt as if I was abandoned as a child since there was a need for me to be adopted. Going through that twice isn't a good feeling.” Ravi told you, trying to laugh through it. “I don’t ask for help, because I didn’t really get help until our recent nanny, and now that she’s gone, I just don’t have that kind of easy connection to ask anymore.”

You hummed a bit, “I wasn’t necessarily saying you not asking for help is a terribly bad thing.” You told him slowly, tilting your head to the side as you looked away from him. “It’s admirable, you do things on your own, you’re intelligent, I know you’re capable of more than the average person.” You complimented him, to both of your surprise.

Ravi continued to listen, adjusting himself to be more comfortable.

“I was just saying that because it’s worrying.” You answered truthfully. “We keep our conversations short, I know, but I still see you working on millions of projects a day.” You explained, smoothing out your knitted brows, “I’m worried you’re going to drop and that’s when people are going to notice that you’re overworking yourself on things you shouldn’t be overworking yourself on.” You told him, puffing air out of your cheeks.

The boy across the fire nodded a bit at your words, “You weren’t telling me to stop trying so hard because you thought I was irritating, you were saying it because…”

“Camp is where you can relax for a minute, you don’t have to prove yourself in anything that much.” You completed his thought for him. “You are a try hard and it’s annoying, because it’s concerning.”  

“Well, since we’re sharing concerns, why do you shut down?” Ravi asked you, wondering if you’d answer or not.

You chuckled a bit before inhaling deeply, “If things don’t go perfectly for me, I feel as if it was better not trying at all.”

“Why?”

“Because everything I’ve ever done to this point was never good enough unless it was absolutely perfect.”

Ravi hummed a bit, nodding, “Was it because of family?”

You nodded with a bit of a scrunched nose, “It’s hard to let go of what your parents put onto you for your entire life, when they’re not around.” You answered honestly, waving at a few bugs around. “If I don’t get everything perfect, what use will I be to anyone?”

“You’re plenty of use.” Ravi interrupted your words, “You help everyone at camp, even the counselors, even Gladys.” He began to list off, scratching at his neck. “I notice that you get in your head, but now that you’re telling me this… you’re comparing yourself to a standard you’ll never reach.”

“Perfection is reachable, actually, if you try hard enough.”

“Not at camp kikiwaka where the boats are about to fall apart and the food barely looks edible.” He answered with a slightly straight face.

His blank tone and expression caused you to burst out into laughter and nod, “I guess you’re right.”

It was a sudden camp trip where suddenly the two of you felt like you could actually talk to each other. A night of camping where you both realize you had more in common than you actually thought.

A night where neither of you minded that you would be spending extra time with one another to get to the other campsite and back to kikiwaka.

You smiled at Ravi, the food now done as you exchanged stories about your friends and activities you’ve done over the summer. “You know, even though I’m sure we’re lost, I guess I’m glad it’s with you.”

Ravi chuckled and shook his head, rolling his eyes playfully, “Me too.”

[laismoura-art]

Hey!! First of all, thanks for the tag in your latest Suchin post, I really do appreciate it. ☺️

I gotta say, I'm really interested in your Seidan!Suchin headcanon! It certainly is a super unique take. I found myself having some observations and questions about her, which I would like to inflict upon you >:D (that is, if you don't mind lmao)

Keep in mind that I'm a lore nerd so I might go a little too in depth. 😭

Okay so I know your AU follows MK1 so Outworld/Edenia is pretty much the same thing. What makes me curious is how you chose to have Seido be a city inside Outworld rather than its own realm (I don't think Seido is part of Outworld in MK1 but I tend to forget a lot about the lore of this new era so you'll have to forgive me about this lmao).

Going from Seido in the OG Timeline, we know there are different types of seidan people: those who simply go by the rules, those who think the rules are too harsh but keep quiet about it and the rebels who join the Seidan Resistance. From what I get, Suchin's family would be the quiet dissatisfied people and I get their wish to run away. However, I would like to offer a slight twist.

See, we don't know if the Seidan government would go after average people who simply left Seido. They could, but it's never implied. However, they would definitely go after active resistants, because THOSE are seen as criminals. As such, families of said resistants might also be targeted, even if they are innocents. Therefore, I wonder about the possibility of a part of the Bunnag family being members of the Resistance. The Seidan Guardsmen thus deemed the entire Bunnag family as a threat and go after them, forcing the family to flee.

I also think it's neat that the Bunnags didn't seek help from Sindel given that, in the OG Timeline, Seido and Edenia have an okay but tense relationship since Seido still tries to force its order ideology upon Edenia. Sindel welcoming the Bunnag, then seen as criminals, would definitely give an excuse for Seido to attack.

As for Kenshi and Suchin, they would both be even more connected through their respective connection to criminal organizations they ultimately despise and disavow. Because, yes, the Seidan Resistance is on the surface a good idea, but they harm a lot of innocent people when trying to "free" their city/realm. It also makes me wonder about how Suchin would view Havik and Darrius in your AU and how the flooding of Seido could affect her.

Okay, it's a long ask but I'm genuinely interested. Seido is an intriguing place and the idea of including more seidan people, especially Suchin, really makes me curious. Ramble as much as you'd like lmao!!

HEY RASTA!!

Sure! I thought you'd like more Suchin content (especially cause you helped inspire that)!❤️

Really? Aww, thank you! I'm so happy this headcanon has been well received so far (I was afraid I had gone too wild with that one, lol)!

Please, do ask! I take any chance to talk about my girls! Plus, more specific questions like this really help polishing my ideas! So, thanks in advance for this ask!❤️

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About Seido being in Outworld:

I totally made that up! We can tell by Havik's bio that Seido is its own realm:

The only thing is that I expressed myself wrong, I called it a city, but what I was actually going for is kingdom!

I dunno if that's exactly what MK1 had in mind, but in my interpretation, Outworld is a realm, and Edenia is a kingdom within it (if that's not what they meant it's how I interpreted and therefore how it works in my AU :P) with that in mind, my idea is that Edenia and Seido are neighbour kingdoms with an okay-ish relationship!

And the reason is just for simplicity sake!

See, I wanted Suchin to have a connection with Outworld and Edenia for my Umgadi Girls AU, and having Seido being in Outworld and next to Edenia and Delia made everything easier and saved me the trouble to add interdimensional trips and all that stuff!

I wish I had a deeper and more interesting reason for that, but I genuinely just took the easier route. And I'm really not that ashamed cause NRS did the exact same by having Edenia and Outworld as one place :P

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About the Bunnags being part of the Seidan Resistance:

I LOVED the idea! Consider it included!👏🏾❤️

AND I'd love to elaborate on that!

So, imagine if the Bunnags were just as extreme as Havik! And if back in the day they had the same sort of power he does now, they would be just as much of a threat!

But as time went by and new generations started to come, the family realised they were turning out just as ruthless as the government they sworn to topple and were causing more harm than good to the people they were trying to protect.

So, the new members started to take on different tactics that would cause less harm to the general population and eventually shifted their focus on actively defending the population from the government.

Unfortunately, the other members of the Resistance started to grow unsatisfied, they felt they weren't doing as much damage to the government anymore and started to think the Bunnags had gone soft and were now disqualified to keep leading their movement.

Without the resistance's support, the Bunnags were left much more exposed and became an easier target to the government.

Ultimately, the family realised they could not keep fighting under "the end justifies the means" rule because that belief didn't make them any better than their enemies.

Fearing for themselves and the families they actively protected (and also feeling their aid to the resistance was no longer welcomed), the family finally decided to leave!

They didn't try to hide the ugly part of their story. Rather, they accepted it and vowed they would never allow themselves to fall back into that dark path again. They would atone for their ancestors' sins and be better. Seek redemption.

---

Which then leads us back to Kenshi!

Who is struggling, thinking his family has gone too far into the darkness, and there's no way of finding redemption.

But now he knows that's not true! Thanks to Suchin, who decided to trust him and share her family's history. Her family, who once found themselves in the same crossroad he's now stuck in. Her family, who's all about redemption, who's living proof that redemption, though hard to achieve, is totally possible!

So basically, the Bunnags were a big deal within the resistance! Legends even! So you bet Havik heard of them, maybe was even a fan, and aspired to be as much of a threat to the government as they once were!

---

And since we are here, let's talk about Havik!

But there's the catch! He grew up listening to stories about the great Bunnag family and their feats! But he also heard of their change of heart and of their decision to flee.

And that would be a MAJOR let down for him! They would go from heroes to disgrace in a second! He would DESPISE them!

Which means he naturally hates Suchin!

And Havik being the embodiment of everything her family sworn never be anymore, Suchin hates him just as much! She sees him as the person she could've become had her family not found their way back towards the light. Look at him is like looking at a twisted mirror for her.

And this led me to a scenario I SO want to brainstorm right now!

Please, walk with me!

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A while ago, my friend @meme099 requested my take on Harumi as a playable character, and I made this post:

In it, I included a Tower Ending for Harumi that was basically that, as her clan serves Cetrion (Mother Nature herself), it is their duty to handle natural disasters, and as a former Umgadi, she was requested to aid Outworld with their two latest (not so) natural disasters: the death of the Living Forest and the flood in Seido.

Harumi went with her clan and Cetrion herself, and for old times' sake, she was also accompanied by Li Mei and her former classmates, which, of course, include our dear Suchin!

---

Now, keep in mind that even though the Bunnags recognise their ancestors' actions were bad, they still hate Seido and think the government sucks!

Which is why when Suchin went to Outworld to reconnect with her roots, she did not attempt to reconnect with Seido.

She became a Umgadi because she wanted to learn more about the Goddess who helped her family escape that hellish place! For her, having a place in Edenia is more than enough of a reconnection!

And she did learn more about Seido. They are the neighbour kingdom, after all. But what she learned didn't really improve her view on the place, if anything only worsened, and gave her certainty that even if she was welcomed back there (she wasn't) she wouldn't want to go!

---

Imagine if the Order of Cetrion were just called to help with the Living Forest.

With that in mind, here's a slight change to Harumi's ending:

Havik would still be their main target, as he helped cause that too.

So Suchin would be here not only as a former Umgadi but also because she her knowledge on the Seidan Resistance (though outdated) might come in hand!

Unfortunately, not in her wild dreams, she expected the Seidan Resistance to flood Seido's capital and EVERYONE within!

Cetrion and her warriors reacted quickly. Suchin requested them to start their rescuing efforts on the lower parts of the city (ahem, the poor part), where the people would be more endangered.

Suchin was disgusted by the situation. It was exactly what her ancestors tried to avoid by changing their ways.

She ended up meeting Havik, and like I said: they both HATED each other!

Havik kept on repeating how disappointed he was and how low the Bunnag house had fallen. While Suchin prided herself for not being anything like him!

I'll leave the confrontation with Havik with an open ending, but in the end, Cetrion and her warriors managed to stop the flood and evacuate as many people as they could from the capital.

Almost every member of the government was killed in the flood, and others perished by Havik's hands. But the two or three members who survived made sure to intensify their war against the Resistance and their allies and, of course, as soon as they learned of Suchin, they had her banished, her return would be punished with death💀

They also sent the Umgadi and the Order of Cetrion away rather quickly. When the warriors tried to warn them of the possible dangers they would be facing, the remaining leaders only told them to mind their own kingdoms and realms.

The warriors were certain the remaining government wouldn't last a day on their own, but there was only so much they could do.

They all left the kingdom...

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OKAY! this turned out HUGE, but you did request for a ramble so HERE WE ARE!! :D

I hope this answers all your questions! And please, do ask more!! I love to come up with scenarios like this!!

I loved to talk more about Seidan!Suchin (and consequently about my Umgadi Girls AU) and would definitely be up to talk some more!!❤️❤️❤️

@mikka-minns @thedragonholder @moody-bloos @orbitinytheworld Girls? May I offer more Suchin content in these trying times?👀❤️

[amusingmusie]

Hello! I'm a big fan of your work "Yours Truly" on Ao3 & your character Penelope, probably like the rest of us here!

So, as we all know, Alastor is someone who is on the asexual spectrum– a real shocker, I know! [/s] But there's a question that's been bugging me for a while, and that is 'what sexuality is Nel'? Because I SWEAR on my life I saw a post saying that she is bisexual, but I cannot seem to find it– so I don't know if that's a fragment of my imagination, and I have entirely made that up... Or that's an actual thing that has been stated and I simply forgot lmao!

I hope that isn't something weird to ask! And, if I really DID make that up, then I'm sorry for bothering you with all those questions!

BUT ALSO, just in case my mind isn't actually playing tricks on me- would you say that Nel is 'aware' of her attraction to women? That she recognizes it as the same attraction she feels towards men, as we see with Alastor– or does she pay it no mind? Not in a "actively ignoring it" way, just a "I've never really thought about it for various reasons"– because we do see Nel being quite open minded in your work, like when she confronts Alastor about the altar for his ancestors without any real judgement! She seems very tolerant and willing to learn about the 'unknown'! Did she have a very sudden realization that 'oh shit, (unspecified lady) is HOT what the hell-", or did her attraction manifest in more subtle ways throughout her life? Obviously, I doubt she would ever put a label on her feelings, simply because of the realities of the times in which "Yours Truly" takes place– similarly to how Alastor (even in Hell) isn't aware of the more 'modern' labels for his sexual attraction, or rather the lack of it!

All in all, Nel is an amazing character, no matter her sexuality– you really made her feel like a real person! She doesn't feel shallow or flat like some characters in fanfiction often do– she has both positive and negative aspects of her character, which make her interactions with the people around her all the more entertaining to read! Especially with Alastor– but I must say, I am also a big fan of her relationship with Grace! I am a sucker for siblings that genuinely care & love each other, but who also can be jokingly mean, and well... Act like real siblings would! I find that most fanfictions follow either the "siblings who absolutely despise each (especially if they are both women, for some reason)" trope, or the "siblings who are sickeningly sweet with one another".

I see that I have written quite a long wall of text– I hope I didn't completely bore you out of your mind! Have a nice day/night, and remember to prioritize your health & mental wellbeing! Toodles! <33

I rub my hands together like a grubby little fly.

You didn't make it up! Nel is technically bisexual (and on the aro/ace spectrum). It's not something I've explicitly written in my fic since she's not even aware of it- that lady grew up in the backwoods in the early 19th century USA. Not saying she couldn't figure it out, she just really doesn't think about it? Like you said, Al is like "huh" when his sexuality is labeled, so is she lol. Eventually she might kinda blink and go "oooooooh" but I don't think it's a big spoiler to say she found her person with Alastor, so while it's an important discovery that's part of her identity, she's happily unhappy with that fucker.

But that's not to say she's unaware of the LGBTQ community or that she's discriminatory towards them! Part of her defining personality is that she is very accepting and if Grace came home with a girl she would not bat an eye. Bonus points if the girl can't get her pregnant lmao. Nel thinks a win is a win.

All in all, I'm a lesbian, and the majority of my OCs have a little sugar in their tanks whether they realize it or not (even if they're unhappily/happily stuck with a stinky deer man) <3

Also, I'm glad you like Grace! I know sibling characters can be hit or miss, but she's integral to the story so I couldn't get rid of her.

Thanks for the cool ask :)

[dysfunctionalcereal]

Vlad x Ena (2)

i meant to post this yesterday but,, i forgot rip djfhjs also?? sometimes i feel as though my representation of vlad is kinda,, iffy?? i guess???? i can never tell if it's too ooc or not but wtv i had fun making this, enjoy lol

How it Happens: Okay, so this one’s a bit complicated. Originally, Ena was only polite to Vlad because of Charles, however, after she found out the two of them were vampires she was instantly infatuated. It wasn't quite love, it was simply her curiosity needing to understand a pureblooded vampire. Meanwhile, from the first time they met, Vlad was incredibly intrigued by Ena. He could tell she had a lot of inner turmoil and secrets, some of which might be just as dark as his. Vlad’s the one who incited things, which was easily reciprocated. Ena was the one who confessed though, it was very straightforward and the honesty just made him like her more.

Handling Conflict: He doesn't try to start arguments but Vlad’s morals being what they are causes the occasional falling out. In these instances, Ena’s usually the first to apologize; Vlad practically worships the ground she walks on but he's still a stubborn man. That's not to say he won't apologize first, but it's typically Ena as she despises the conflict. Despite this, Ena takes time to forgive in most instances since she just can't see eye-to-eye with her lover.

Relationship Attitude: These two are both extremely dedicated to each other and everyone knows it. Ena doesn't mind PDA but Vlad doesn't really like to do too much in public, he prefers to save all his energy and affection to spoil Ena when they're alone. This isn't to say he doesn't like her greeting/parting hugs and kisses though because he's a real sucker for them.

Showing Affection: Both believe that actions speak louder than words, however, they're very charismatic and a compliment or words of affirmation are always welcome. Vlad’s usually the initiator, being the more dominant one, but they both give and receive mostly equal parts.

Dealing with Jealousy: Vlad deals with jealousy in ways that would upset Ena if she found out, so it's a good thing she hasn't! Which is shocking, seeing how easily jealous he gets when it comes to... Well, anything or anyone, but, at the end of the day, he fully trusts her. On the other hand, Ena doesn't get jealous often; when Ena gets jealous, she just wants Vlad’s undivided attention and affection.

Attachment: Vlad is very overprotective of Ena, he doesn't want to suffocate her but he wants the whole world to know that she is his and he is hers. He's fairly independent, he has his moments of anxiety but, more often than not, he's jealous. Now, Ena’s definitely different here. While she's fairly relaxed, she's constantly riddled with anxiety. She values him far more than she values herself – which he quite obviously hates, they're working on it – and just can't bear losing him.

[jeding-png]

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about the main characters of this work, in particular, we focused on Derrick. I propose to have an interesting discussion with all of you :)

Warning I'm not writing this to offend you in any way, but to share some of my thoughts and experiences about changing my attitude towards Derrick in the one and a half years I've been in the fandom. The second warning! For people who do not like spoilers from the novel, it is advisable not to read the post.

I have a few words about him, so I will divide this post into several categories:

Derrick Eckhart as a person.

I think he was not fully developed as a character, but he is still interesting. He has the virtues of an heir to a duchy: he is serious, cold, balanced in his speech, and reasonable. However, he is prideful and prejudiced. I'm not arguing, he is handsome. I don't deny that the Duke's eldest son also has wonderful qualities, but his somewhat "indifferent" attitude is due to traumatic events.

However, Derrick respects his father, loves his brother, has one of the best reputations among the nobility, has the ability to lead, but… the young man himself has been trained very carefully since childhood. Derrick was not born with an opinion: "Oh, I want to become a duke." He was simply born first, so he was taught from an early age that he was the heir to Duke Eckhart.

In other words, because of Yvonne's disappearance, Derrick has become even more violent in appearance. Reading the lines from the novel, one can have reason to believe that Derrick was a warmer child, not an "old man in a child's body". And he could have been under pressure from his father's demands.

I would like to believe that he often played with his brother and sister in his free time and seemed to become a different person…

What else do we know about the young duke? He is a captain of knights, and he can also be quite emotional, as we can see from his interactions with Penelope. That's how smoothly we moved on to the next topic:

About Derrick's relationship with Penelope.

Derrick is despised for his treatment of Penelope not only because of his feelings for her.

Yes, there are works in which the union between a brother and sister is not considered incest, but why is there such a negative attitude?

His treatment of Penelope was not as a human being with her own emotions, feelings and pain. She's like a beautiful bird in an expensive cage, like Plapopinu. There is an interesting parallel between the beautiful bird and Penelope. Like... a desire to control her?

Let's take the first chapters, when Penelope has just entered the world of the "game". She's talking to Derrick in the corridor, who chides her for once again causing a ruckus in the duchy and setting up Emily, who was the only one who was reduced to working as Penelope's maid. BUT then it turns out that Derrick knew that Emily had been feeding Penelope rotten food, but he still tried to blame Penelope.

"He knew that it wasnt my fault, but he still tried to blame me for it. If i didn`t beg for forgiveness like the game scenario..."

Let's take a look at the chapters with the trial. It was not that Derrick did not believe Penelope, but that he simply did not listen to her. The whole conversation boiled down to "Just plead guilty, father and I will get you off." He didn't listen to her and didn't hear her. Derrick never properly apologised to Penelope, he tried to justify his actions. In other words, he did not take responsibility.

I don't recall the moments directly at Penelope's coming-of-age ceremony, because Derrick was brainwashed here (see "Trying to understand Derrick's actions"). In this paragraph, I will say that Derrick wanted to see how Penelope would react if he brought Yvonne to her birthday party, lol (I write as if it's nothing, but I almost cried myself (/´△`＼). )

I was annoyed by his jealousy of Penelope, which was a bit repulsive. Because Derrick didn't care about his foster sister's feelings.

When Penelope didn't want to continue with the poisoning investigation, what did Derrick do? He insisted on continuing it. When Penelope ran away from the duchy, what did Derrick do? He dropped everything and started looking for her. And finally, what does Derrick do when Penelope says she's going to marry Callisto? On his knees, he begs her not to do it and to call him "brother" again.

And in the end, because of this attitude towards Penelope, we get the picture that he loves her. I had a cry of the soul at that moment.

Dear Derrick, I'm talking to you:

Dude, you liked the girl (let me emphasise, Derrick was attracted to the little Original Penelope), but after all the disdain and indifference to her feelings, you claim to love her?

"I didn't abuse you like Reynold, but you call him brother."

First of all, it was the Current Penelope's choice who she would consider her brother, because the Original Penelope would not have forgiven anyone, let alone called one of the Eckharts "family". Secondly, you saw your younger brother bullying and fighting with her, but you did not defend Penelope. In fact, your indifference only showed everyone that you would do nothing. You always blamed Penelope for everything at the first opportunity, without even knowing. Do you blame her for her bad behaviour? Yes, it's easier for us than hiring teachers or spending hours talking to her. She is a girl from poverty, a teenager whose mother died.

Have you ever apologised? Maybe, but it was hardly an apology.

But what was Derrick's reaction after Penelope's refusal? He becomes angry and his mask of calm disappears. That is, I don't even consider his "feelings" to be love, but rather obsession.

Derrick paid the price for his attitude towards Penelope, she expressed all her contempt and disgust for him, refusing to even save him in the final battle.

It`s the relationship between Derrick and Penelope that we have.

Trying to understand Derrick's actions.

Derrick is the eldest son of the Eckhart family, who has been taught to be the heir since childhood.

Unlike Reynold, he was tutored directly by the Duke, who did not raise his hand to him. Even at a young age, Derrick was smart and studied well, but he was not that serious. Remember Yvonne, to whom Derrick always smiled and showed weakness, unable to refuse his sister anything. I think he also had quite a warm relationship with his younger brother.

However, Derrick had lost his beloved mother when he was about 6 years old, so he might still have some small memories. Then there is the disappearance of Yvonne, the observation of Reynold's hysteria, in which 17-year-old (?) Derrick tried to control his emotions to calm his brother down, even though he was feeling extremely bad himself.

I will say right away that Yvonne's disappearance was an accident! Yes, there were certain circumstances, but there were no guilty parties!

Changes had already begun to take place in Derrick. Later, Penelope's appearance turned everything upside down (it was the Duke's fault). The incident with the necklace, where Reynold exposed his new sister as a "thief", was the one that stuck with Derrick.

As Derrick saw it, a girl from poverty, a commoner, was taken into the family. She did not know luxury, delicious food and warmth. Yvonne's disappearance was recent, and there was little chance of her return, but there was a chance (as Derrick sincerely believed), so Penelope could leave the house if the duke's real daughter returned. The girl could have taken her jewellery in case she had to leave the duchy and live for something. At least, that's what Derrick himself could have thought about Penelope's thoughts (I'm not saying this, these are my theories). Although, in this case, it must still seems strange to Derrick that she took Yvonne's necklace.

We know a little bit about the Original Penelope's antics, about her less-than-angelic character, although she is also understandable. However, she didn't even talk about mosquitoes at the tea party, so everyone easily perceived her as crazy. It was logical that over the years, when the Eckharts' reputation had gone through a rollercoaster because of Penelope's actions, Derrick had a prejudiced attitude towards her. But... trust and listening is another matter.

About the events of Yvonne's return. Derrick was under hypnosis when Penelope drank the poison and almost died, so subconsciously, Derrick was not in that place. This is written directly in the novel. Leila spent most of her time with Derrick, precisely because of his affection for Yvonne, which was easy to exploit. And the moment Derrick came to, he plunged his sword into Yvonne's body, realising that his sister was gone. Before his eyes was a monster (well, and then Leila left a hole in Derrick's body. That's nothing, every other manhwa is like that).

I am both fascinated and depressed by the fact that Derrick could not come to terms with Yvonne's death. All these years later, he still cherishes the memory of his little sister, sincerely hoping that she is alive, just… not with them now. This is the same young duke who seems even realistic, but a 12-year-old girl who has always lived in prosperity will find it extremely difficult to adapt to the conditions of the street. At the same time, Derrick shows us his brotherly devotion, but the problem is that this can turn into a rejection of reality.

I think Derrick will come to his senses in time, because "living for the sake of the dead" is not his style. But its background, its further development, and the process of adoption were not enough for me. Unfortunately, it's now the job of the fans to come up with AUs or their own headcanons about the Eckharts' past :')

Sometimes Derrick's remarks were meaningful. Not always, but sometimes. This guy always took care of Eckhart's reputation so that there would be fewer problems down the line. But sometimes he went too far.

Some counter questions for you.

What do you mean by Duke Eckhart's mistake regarding Derrick's feelings for his adopted sister?

The Duke's fault is that he neglected the upbringing of his children, that he did not take into account the feelings of his sons when he brought Penelope to the duchy. It is now fashionable to blame the Duke for making it clear to everyone that Penelope was their sister, but not interfering in the children's relationship, ignoring the fact that Penelope was being bullied by her brothers and servants.

The Duke brought up Derrick as his ideal heir, noticed that after Yvonne's disappearance his eldest son became more silent and self-absorbed, but did NOTHING.

The girl from the Hunting Competition reminded him of Yvonne, and that was the only reason he saved her.

I have not seen anyone who has forgiven the Eckhart family, including me.

Just because we like or love the characters doesn't mean we justify their actions. I mean, I like the development of the characters, but I may not like them as individuals. Regarding the Eckhart family. Ignoring, harassment and terrible treatment in general is impossible to forgive.

As for Derrick's future interactions with Penelope and Judy... they were only told one sentence.

I'm inclined to believe that they still have a tense relationship and Penelope perceives him exclusively as Duke Eckhart. Maybe Derrick really does want to be a good uncle to Judith, maybe he just has a nice smile, but he doesn't have that great of a relationship. We're not told this, we can only speculate.

My conclusion.

When I read manhwa, I perceived everything superficially, so I didn't try to understand Derrick. When I first read the novel, I went from "I don't like it" to "I don't care". But on the second reading, I was already paying attention to the details of the world and secondary characters. Derrick could have developed, but we weren't shown this in detail, nor were Penelope, Callisto or Reynold.

It seems that even Duke Eckhart was revealed more (this is the same character whose development I like, but I would not wish such a father on myself). Whether you hate Derrick, love him, watch him, or give him the middle finger in front of his handsome face is up to you.

I'm a simple person: where Derrick can be compared to garbage, I'll just photoshop his head into a garbage can. Despite the fact that I don't hate him (as soon as I get the paper version of the manhwa, I will swear at all the characters for a long time), I understand the opinion of the author of the original post, I just added a few words from myself.

I really like discussions in fandom about each character. So invite me to such gatherings more often! (^-^)/

Like I said, I like love Derrick Eckhart. But this does NOT by any means mean I support his feelings for Penelope.

It's just... I like his cool collected personality, how he keeps himself together at all times, that despite being a relatively emotional person, he maintains nonchalance to everything on the outside. He's responsible, reserved, and altruistic -- think about the time he saved that lady he didn't even know at the opening ceremony of the hunting competition. I could go on and on about the good things about him, but I'll stop there.

People dislike him because he abused and harassed Penelope and bears feelings for her that a brother shouldn't have for a sister, but that was Duke Eckhart's fault and people forgave both him and Reynold??? Derrick gets over it with time and treats his niece well and there's just SO MANY people out there that support ships between adoptive siblings in other books and say it's not incest, but he's being rained on with hate?

Again, though, I DO NOT ship Derrick x Penelope. I don't. I just think he's justified and deserves some love too.

[book-boys-are-my-guilty-pleasure]

A Stark and her Soldier ~ Part 1

Imagine: Reuniting with Bucky when you end up helping Sam with the Flag Smashers.

Warnings: TFATWS SPOILERS! This takes place during the first two episodes of the show.

A/N: I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’M BACK (with a new header lol)!!! AHHHHHHHH! It’s been nearly two years but here I am… posting this makes me SO nervous, so feedback would be highly appreciated! More parts and some information about what I’m planning with this blog to follow soon! 

“You held us together – do it for them,” he paused before adding, “Promise me you’ll do it for them.”

You blinked away the tears, knowing what was coming, “I can’t promise that...”

“Y/N please,” the way he begged you with that shaking voice was nearly enough to push you over the edge.

“I-I promise.” He squeezed your hand before letting you leave.

“You’ve reached James Barnes, sorry I couldn’t take your call, please –” you hung up before the recorded message could continue, face burning with frustration. This was the 9th time you had tried calling him this week, not to mention the countless text messages.

You scoffed thinking of Steve’s last words to you, how were you supposed to hold them together when you barely held yourself together on a good day? It doesn’t make it any easier when the person you’re supposed to be holding together is so keen on letting himself fall apart.  

Every time you tried calling him, you ended up feeling furious, miserable, or like an absolute failure – usually all three. You promised Steve, you promised, and you failed. You groaned and chucked your phone across your bed.

The last time you had seen him, Steve had still been around, and you hadn’t even spoken to him since Tony’s funeral.

 You and Pepper had walked to the lake, each holding one of Morgan’s hands, and you had sat at the dock watching the arc reactor – his heart – float away, the people behind you forgotten in your grief. The weight on your heart was unbelievable, you had already lost your best friend, Natasha, and now your brother was gone.

You promised him that you wouldn’t cry at his funeral – he always knew it was inevitable – and so you sat there, sending him away with a pained smile.

You had no idea how long you had just sat there, staring at the horizon across the lake, trying to make this last moment with your brother last forever.

“Y/N?” You felt a hand squeezing your shoulder, “You should come back inside.”

“What happens now, Steve?” Your voice was softer than he had ever heard before.

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out together,” he paused for a moment before gesturing to Bucky, waiting outside the house behind him, “He wants to talk to you.”

You gave Bucky a small smile, “Hey.”

He walked over and dropped down next to you, Steve leaving the two of you to chat, “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” You nodded solemnly.

He added, “For everything, Y/N… he probably wouldn’t even have wanted me here, but –”

You shook your head and took his hand, heart fluttering at the contact. You had always been attracted to him, and it had only grown with every interaction. “That wasn’t you.”

You knew your brother never blamed Bucky, you all knew how it felt to have people mess with your heads and Bucky had had the worst of it. He was furious at Steve for years, but never at Bucky – you could never bring yourself to be angry with either of them, not after the stories you grew up with. Your father had adored the soldiers and you had been one of their biggest fans, and later one of Steve’s closest friends.

There had come a point after the battle between Tony and Steve when you had become sick of all the back and forth. You were lucky enough to find an escape when T’Challa got in touch with you, offering you a chance to come to Wakanda and learn about their technology – you weren’t ashamed to admit that you were the one who contacted him to beg for it. You hadn’t known that Bucky was already there. Slowly but surely, the two of you found comfort in one another and became good friends.  

He gave you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “You should head inside, it’s getting late – I’ll see you again soon.”

He stayed true to that statement, the two of you stood with Sam and Bruce, waiting for Steve to come back after returning the stones – only to have him shatter your hearts.

You only saw Bucky in passing after that, occasionally visiting Steve at the same time – you never said a word to him, beyond a smile or a wave, and then you stopped seeing him all together. You tried, for the sake of your promise to Steve, but he never answered your calls or texts.

“We’ll figure it out together, right, thanks a lot Steve,” You muttered.

You jumped at the sound of your phone ringing, and your shoulders sank a bit when you saw Sam’s name flashing across the screen, “Hey.”

“He’s doing an interview,” You knew exactly who Sam was talking about, “Good Morning America.”

Your stomach turned, “That’s the last thing I want to see.”

“I know, I just thought I’d share my joy with someone,” Sam chuckled, “Any luck with Bucky?”

“I’m just wasting my time at this point,” You could feel the tears returning to your eyes as you said it.

“Hey, come on now, he’ll come around, he just needs some time.”

“Right…”

“Listen, I called because we have a lead, wanna join?”

“Please.”

“I hate it, his stupid face plastered on every wall, it feels like he’s mocking us.”

“Don’t you start, Y/N.”

“Seriously Sam, I get that he’s the new Cap – the fake Cap, but don’t you think that this,” You gestured to the posters around you, “is excessive?”

“It-”

“Shouldn’t have given up the shield.” Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice and your face heated up with anger, you hadn’t realized it was possible to feel such contrasting emotions at the same time, but here you were. You noted that his voice was a bit hoarse and wondered if he had been sick.

“Good to see you too, Buck.”

“This is wrong.”

“So is pushing away everyone who cares about you.” He finally looked at you and you saw shame glistening in those steel blue eyes.

He said nothing before turning back to Sam, “You didn’t know that was gonna happen?”

Wow, ignoring your calls was one thing, but outright ignoring you while you stood in front of him, that caused a different kind of hurt.

You stood in silence as Sam explained where the two of you were headed, trying to push away the pounding in your head, and suddenly, you found yourself in a jet sitting next to Bucky.

“You could have answered, even once. Could’ve at least let me know that you were still alive.”

“I know,” Was all he said.

“We were friends once,” Nothing, “and I still care for you.”

“I know.”

“Four months, a full four months and I didn’t hear a single word from you, I’m going to need more than ‘I know’.”

He sighed, “I’m sorry.”

You could tell that he meant it and didn’t know what more to say, so you got up and headed towards the open door of the plane, “I’ll catch you boys on the ground.”

You watched Sam follow, and considered helping Bucky as he fell through the trees, but you decided against it. He hurt your feelings and now you could call it even.

Super soldiers? How on earth were there more super soldiers?! You didn’t have much time to ponder on the thought as you got kicked in the face by one of them and fell off the semi – definitely should have let Tony make you a helmet like he insisted.

You flew back up only to see him dropping out of a helicopter, Fake Cap, fuck.

“Looks like you guys could use some help,” Your blood boiled at the sight of his cocky grin.

You weren’t winning, and you weren’t stupid enough to continue trying, let Steve’s knock-off take care of it.

You flew off just in time to see Bucky lying on top of Sam, the latter groaned in displeasure.

“Hey, can you gentlemen save the PDA for later?” You joked, earning a glare from both of them.

With the adrenaline slowly draining from your system, the pain from the blows you took started to set in, making you dread the trek in front of you. As if on cue, you heard a horn honking and Fake Cap pulled up next to you, “It’s 20 miles to the airport, you guys need a ride.”

“I think we’re good,” You simply stated.

“You won’t make it with that limp.”

You gave him a crude smile, “I’d rather crawl.”  

They stopped and opened the door, you exchanged a look with Sam and Bucky, silently deciding to join them.

You sat between Bucky and Sam, and felt the anger and disgust radiating off of both of them with every word that was exchanged.

“Y/N Stark,” You despised the way he said your last name, like he wanted to devour you, “You are one of the original seven, I trust you know the importance of having a strong team. I’d suggest giving a word or two of advice to your friends here.”

“Did you really just compare being on a team with you two, to being on a team with the Avengers?” You glowered at him, “A word of advice Walker, you’re not Steve, you might be holding that shield, but you will never be half the Captain America that he was. So quit fucking pretending.”  

“I didn’t realize Stark’s sister had such a mouth on her,” He smirked, he knew exactly what he was doing and as much as you hated to admit it, it was working, “Vicious.”

“Go to hell.”

The ride didn’t last very long after that, and you had no complaints when Bucky demanded them to stop the car.

You opened your eyes and rolled over to see Sam still asleep on the seats across from you, and Bucky was sitting on the large crate in the middle of the jet, “Not tired?”

“Nah,” He shook his head.

You pushed yourself to your feet and hopped up next to him, “You’d think they’d make those seats a bit more comfortable considering the amount of time we spend on these things.”

He chuckled and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence. After a considerable pause he turned to you, “Y/N, I meant what I said earlier, I’m sorry.”

The dark bags under his eyes were a stark contrast from the beautiful blue that you were looking into, which you noted which had lost its luster. You noticed that his voice still had a bit of that hoarseness from earlier in the day, and the dots connected. You remembered how hoarse your voice used to get when you’d wake up screaming from the nightmares after particularly rough missions. You understood why he was awake, he didn’t want you and Sam to see him like that.

You nodded, “I know, I just wish – I was worried sick about you. I know it hasn’t been easy for you Buck, but we were good friends once and I miss you.”

“I wanted to call, it’s just been tough,” He admitted, and you reached over to take his hand, only to quickly pull away as Sam woke up.

“You two okay?”

“Yeah,” You both said. You wondered if Bucky’s super soldier ability allowed him to hear the way your heartbeat picked up from that brief touch.

Your mind was racing a million miles a minute, you had barely kept the tears in listening to Isaiah’s story, both out of anger and sadness. How? How did this happen? How was this man tortured, then brushed under the rug? How did no one know about it? Why the hell did Bucky keep this from you?

Sam mirrored your pained expression, but something darker lurked beneath his eyes, you couldn’t even imagine the rage he felt. The sound of a police siren pulled you out of your thoughts.

Your anger only grew at the argument that ensued, “I am calm, what do you want? We’re just standing here talking.”

“Just give him your ID,” You glared at Bucky as the words left his mouth.

“Why the hell should he? He didn’t do anything wrong!” You growled, at the same time Sam said, “I’m not giving him shit, we were just talking.”

“Hey, hey, look, is this guy bothering you?” The officer asked you and Bucky. Your eyes widened, he can’t be serious right now.

“No, he’s not bothering us, do you know who this is?!”

You couldn’t even stand to look at the guy as his jaw dropped in shock upon realizing who Sam was, you felt your body shake with anger, and you didn’t even want to think what would have happened if Sam hadn’t been an Avenger.

The officer returned from his vehicle and turned the tables, announcing that there was a warrant out for Bucky’s arrest.

Watching him being handcuffed and put into the car shattered your heart, if the events of the day hadn’t already left you feeling nauseous, you knew this would be the nail in the coffin. All you could see was Bucky on his knees with a gun to his head nearly seven year ago when Steve barely prevented T’Challa from killing him and the four of you had been arrested – Tony had been furious with you, but it was the shame in Bucky’s eyes that had hurt you the most, and here you were, witnessing it again.

You reached over a grabbed Sam’s hand and squeezed as hard as you could, desperate for a lifeline to keep you from sinking into those painful memories.

You maintained that same grip on the poor man’s hand as you sat at the police station waiting for Bucky to be bailed out, “Sam, Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you two, I’m Dr. Raynor, I’m James’ therapist.”

The two of you shook her hand and Sam thanked her for getting Bucky out.

“That was not me –”

“Christina!” You’d recognize that voice anywhere from the way it made your skin crawl, fuck, “Good to see you again.”

You clenched your jaw to keep yourself from punching the stupid grin off of his face as he pointed to himself when Dr. Raynor asked him who authorized Bucky’s release. You knew you had a problem with constantly wanting to punch people in the face, it was a trait that ran in the family, but Walker’s face was definitely one of the most punchable ones you had seen – a good ol’ pop in the jaw wouldn’t hurt, right? Just one?

“He’s too valuable of an asset to have him tied up –”

That was it, that was all you were willing to hear, you couldn’t stop yourself from getting in his face and hissing, “Call him that again, and I swear to god Walker, I –”

Sam put his arm around you, hand pressed to your stomach and pulled you back, “Y/N.”

Walker simply smirked and turned back to Raynor, “Do what you have to do and send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I, you too Wilson, and bring your guard dog with you.”

It took everything in your power to keep from snarling at him.  

“James, condition of your release, session now,” The doctor ordered, “You two as well.”

“I’m good, I’ve been to enough therapy,” You shook your head, at the same time Sam said, “That’s okay, I’ll be out here with –”

“That wasn’t a request,” You couldn’t help but chuckle, and decided that you liked this woman.

You and Sam sat on either side of Bucky, facing Dr. Raynor as she got started. You couldn’t help but notice the way Bucky’s eyes shifted and jaw clenched as Sam tried to weasel his way out of the session, and your chest tightened. He looked so tired, and not just the ‘hasn’t slept in a few days’ tired, but more like he was tired of trying – he looked broken.

You decided in that moment that you would try, and not just for Steve, but for the man next to you who had held a piece of your heart before he even knew you, and managed steal that piece away when you had met him years later.

You realized how hard you’d have try when Bucky answered Dr. Raynor’s question with, “In my miracle, he would talk less.”

“Exactly what I was gonna say, isn’t that ironic?” You sighed, so hard.

She turned to you, mimicking the expression on your face, “Y/N, can I trust you to give me a proper answer?”

Try, Y/N, try. You saw a glimmer of hope in Raynor’s eyes as they met yours, but you simply shrugged and looked away, unable to bring yourself to open up, and she let her shoulders fall slightly.

“You guys are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul-gazing exercise. Y/N, you can sit this one out, you get along with both of them well enough.”

You rolled your eyes at the reactions from the boys, this’ll be good. You couldn’t help but chuckle as they got closer to one another, maybe I should have taken part in this exercise. They made eye contact and continued to hold it, you realized what they were doing moments before the doctor did and let out a genuine laugh – earning a glare from Raynor, don’t encourage them she seemed to say.

“James, why does Sam aggravate you? And don’t say something childish.” Your head filled with a hundred different ideas about what stupid things Bucky would come up with, only to have them fizzle away at his cheeky grin towards the doctor, followed by the lick of his lip. It left your throat dry. Snap out of it, Y/N, what’s gotten into you?

He paused for a moment, his expression changing, and turned back to Sam, “Why’d you give of that shield?”

You held your breath, you knew this was going to come up, but weren’t expecting it here. You couldn’t take your eyes off of Bucky, noticing every change in his face, it becoming more pained with every word that left his mouth, and your chest tightening alongside it, until finally, “So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.”

The break in his voice cracked your heart into a million pieces. You looked up, trying to keep the tears swimming in your eyes from falling. You turned your attention towards Sam and noticed the emotion behind his glassy eyes – it was different than anything you had seen in him before, it was almost as though you could see the burden he was carrying on his shoulders, the pressure that was pushing him in every direction.

I have to fix this, you told yourself, you couldn’t stand to see them like this, I have to try.  

Your mind was roaring with thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed that Sam and Bucky had left until Raynor asked, “What would be in your miracle, Y/N?”

You snapped your head towards her, then to the door, you weighed your options and headed towards the latter. You grabbed the handle and stopped, without turning towards her you whispered, “I’d find a home again, and they’d find some happiness.”

You pulled the door open, “Y/N, I don’t think those two things have to be separate.”

Her words swam in your head until you found Bucky and Sam walking outside, Walker and Hoskins storming off in the other direction.

“What’s that all about?”

“Walker being Walker,” Sam shrugged.

“So, what now?”

“Bucky wants to talk to Zemo,” Every memory that you spent years trying to forget came flooding back: Zemo using those words to turn Bucky into the Winter Soldier, who then proceeded to trash the compound and nearly kill you and your friends; watching your family fight each other at the airport and being forced to pick a side; watching the footage of your parents dying; desperately begging your brother and the man who had become your brother not to kill one another.

“You what?!” You gasped.

“Y/N –”

You stepped between the two of them, close enough to Bucky that you had to tilt your head up to look into his eyes, and whispered, “Bucky, no.”

“This might be our only lead, Y/N,” You stared up at him, silently pleading him, he reflected the same in his own, “Please Y/N.”

He took your hand and you instantly melted, “I – fine, but promise me you will be careful.”

“I promise.”

End. 

Read Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 and Part 6

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[renjuseyo]

I'm the one that ask about poly. I want to make request now if you're okay with it about male reader jihoon and seungcheol. Seungcheol being jealous when reader babied jihoon even though Seungcheol get it most of the time. While jihoon hate it when reader doing that but only whine and do nothing at all. Reader didn't stop because he know Jihoon enjoy it and also watching Seungcheol pouting and making a fuss is one of his entertainment.

pay attention to me ; s.coups & woozi

group: seventeen

pairing: choi seungcheol / lee jihoon / reader (male)

synopsis: just because seungcheol’s dating you two doesn’t make him less jealous when you direct your attention to jihoon, even if he always receives your pampering.

genre: fluff

i hope you liked this anon! i think this is a very cute prompt, and i had fun playing with jicheol’s dynamics. i kind of lost inspo if you couldn’t tell though lol... anyways, feedback is always appreciated!! ^^

age order goes as: seungcheol > reader > jihoon

jihoon: i won’t be home until late, so don’t wait up for me [11:58 PM]

that was sent to you and seungcheol four hours ago. seeing how seungcheol had gotten off work at a decent time (if you consider ten-thirty decent) compared to usual, you had assumed it would be the same for jihoon, too. apparently not.

normally, by the time the clock strikes three am, you would be fast asleep, squished between seungcheol and jihoon. but instead, you’re parking your car outside of the pledis building, with seungcheol struggling to stay awake in the passenger seat. “you know, i could’ve driven here instead,” the older offers, yawning.

you roll your eyes, pushing your door open. “don’t be ridiculous. you can barely keep your eyes open, and you’ve worked all day. driving is the least i could do.”

you two step out of your car. after locking it, you begin walking towards the studio. the dim glow of the lamp posts and the faint twinkle of the stars are your only guides to the entryway, and you’re reminded once again just how late it is when you take in your surroundings. not a single sound can be heard, and the sky above you is blanketed black. what in the world is jihoon doing so late?

(well, there’s only one thing he could be doing this late. but most importantly, why? the members of seventeen are supposed to have the weekend off, so he has plenty of time to finish up any projects.)

once seungcheol unlocks the door, you two trudge inside, yawning. it takes a few minutes for you both to find jihoon’s studio, but it isn’t hard to spot. in the dark hallway, there’s only one room lit up, with a blue, fluorescent light splashing its walls. you glance at the small window, and just as you had suspected, your boyfriend is perched on his chair, hunched over his desktop.

luckily his door isn’t locked, so seungcheol twists the doorknob and pulls it open. the intrusion startles jihoon, evident by the way he flinches in his seat. when he spins around, you frown at the weary look on his face. the bright blue of his room highlights his eye bags, and you can see him struggling to stay awake. “what are you two doing here? you should be asleep,” he says.

you stride towards him, eyebrows furrowed. “that’s what we should be saying. do you have any idea what time it is? you’re supposed to be at home with us.” seungcheol nods in agreement, probably too tired to engage himself in a conversation.

“not until i finish this,” the younger protests, gesturing at his monitor. you peek behind him to look at what’s pulled up, and unsurprisingly, there’s a new project loaded up, probably one of the songs he’s working on for seventeen’s next album. “management said i have to get this done by next week.” he glances at the clock. “plus, it’s only three am. i’ve had less sleep.”

“by less sleep you mean no sleep,” you correct, propping your hands on your hips. you almost look the part of a disappointed parent. “that’s so bad for you, you know.”

“hoon, we have this weekend off. you can work on it then,” seungcheol replies, yawning. “come sleep with us. anyone with a pair of eyes can tell that you’re tired.”

jihoon rolls his eyes, but the yawn that leaves his throat is evidence enough. “i’m just fine. i already downed a whole bottle of soda, anyways.”

you tiredly trudge over to him, tugging at his sleeve. he raises a questioning eyebrow, but he doesn’t say anything as you drag him over to the couch by the wall. “hoonie, you’ve been up since six am. it’s not good for babies to sleep so late.”

he flushes at the implications, frowning. it ends up looking more like a pout, though, further proving your point. “i’m not a baby. you’re acting like one right now,” he protests.

you pull him onto the couch, arms trapping him. “but you’re the youngest, so you’re the baby. right, cheol?”

instead of agreeing with you, the oldest of you three pouts, flopping down beside you. “that’s no fair, (name). both hoonie and i worked today, so why are you only babying him?” he whines. for someone who’s supposed to be the oldest, he sure craves attention like a child.

you wave a dismissive hand, scooting over so seungcheol has more room. this causes you and jihoon to squish even closer together, and as discomforting as it is for all three of you, no one makes any moves to go to a more comfortable area. but then again, you three usually wound up like this more often than not, so you all stopped minding altogether. “hush, cheol. we cuddled for like, an hour when we were home. hoonie hasn’t had anyone to take care of him yet.”

jihoon rolls his eyes, pressed against your chest. “i’m right here, you know.” as much as he dislikes skinship, he’s too tired to move, and your embrace is comforting, though he’d never admit it.

you hum, snuggling closer to him. “lack of sleep makes babies grouchy. you can worry about your project tomorrow.”

“but-”

“don’t talk back to the adults,” you murmur, dozing off, pressing your forehead against his.

jihoon grumbles, though he doesn’t try to move. “this is crazy. i’m only a year younger than you and seungcheol-hyung. what do you mean don’t talk back to the adults?” he snorts.

when you don’t respond, he can only assume you’ve fallen asleep. he rolls his eyes and cranes his neck to peek at seungcheol. his eyes are also fluttering close, arms firmly wrapped around your waist. sometimes he wonders why you call him the baby when seungcheol is right there, constantly whining for your affection. if anything, he’s the baby of you three.

seeing how he can’t wriggle his way out of here (not that he would. drinking a whole bottle of coke-cola has done nothing to lift his drowsiness), he can do nothing but surrender to your clutches and lay limp in your arms. he closes his eyes in an attempt to fall asleep, but hearing your voice in his head makes it a tad difficult.

you’re the youngest, so you’re the baby~

jihoon huffs, glaring at you, who’s oblivious to his piercing eyes. “says the one who always needs to hug something before he sleeps,” he quietly grumbles, poking your cheek.

to his surprise, the subtle motion is enough to stir you awake, and he feels himself heat up when your eyes flutter open. even when you’re tired, you still manage to look breathtaking. “go to sleep, hoonie,” you remind again before dozing back asleep.

when jihoon glances at the clock, the white, neon digits show him that it’s nearly four am. so this is what he ends up doing, but not because you told him to.

jihoon knows that despite your constant babying, you recognize that he’s a functioning adult who’s more than capable of handling responsibilities. even more than you, he might argue. you just have an affectionate nature and make it your sole duty to take care of everyone around you, even if they’re older than you, like seungcheol. plus, you just like calling those younger than you babies. if it weren’t for the fact that you’re only a few months older than him, he would’ve thought you were the oldest of you three.

though he claims to despise your affectionate nature, he’s thankful to have your presence, especially around him and seungcheol. he knows that as the leader of one of the biggest boy groups - both metaphorically and physically - the stress is undoubtedly more burdensome than the ones the other members have. he knows that seungcheol spends more time structuring himself as a strong leader and wise oldest member than as a twenty-five-year-old man who likes music and video-games. which is why he’s grateful that you’re around to give him the pampering and leisure he deserves, reminding him that it’s okay to be taken care of sometimes.

he isn’t mad that you direct most of your pampering at seungcheol. if anything, he’s more than happy, because now you’re there to give him the attention he complains about when he can’t. your presence, for a lack of better words, acts as a balance for you three. but there are times where you choose to baby (read: pester) him, simply because he’s the youngest and needs attention once in a while. your words, not his.

now is one of those moments.

jihoon blinks, staring at the shoe box perched on the table before him. he looks at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you gesture at the shoe box in a flourish, widely grinning like a child who’s won candy. “ta-da!” you exclaim. seungcheol, who had been immersed with a mobile game, is now looking his way, curiously staring at the box. judging from his expression, he guesses he doesn’t know what the contents are, either.

“and what exactly am i looking at?” he asks.

“open it!” you exclaim.

he does as he’s told, lifting up the lid of the box. to his surprise, they’re a pair of black slide-ons. he remembers eyeing a pair a week ago at a mall he had gone to with you and soonyoung, but had dismissed the thought after seeing the number shopping bags soonyoung had on each arm. he isn’t sure if you remembered or if this is a mere coincidence. either way, he’s surprised you bought him a pair of shoes out of the blue.

“what!” seungcheol exclaims. he throws his phone onto the couch, the device bouncing on the cushions. he walks towards you, instantly wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. “you bought shoes for hoonie, but not for me?”

you roll your eyes. “cheol, you’re the one giving people your credit card information. you’re quite capable of buying your own shoes... actually, you’d buy them, unprompted.”

“but it’s different when it’s a gift,” he whines. “i want you to buy me shoes, too.”

ignoring your whiny boyfriend, you gesture at the sandals. “i saw you looking at them when we were at the mall with soonyoung last week! i know you don’t have a lot of time to go shopping, so i bought them for you,” you explain.

jihoon frowns. he’s the one practically swimming in a pool of money, so he should be the one buying you nice things, not the other way around. “oh... you didn’t have to.”

when he looks up at you, he sees the excitement vanish from your face, being replaced with a pout. seeing you like that makes him wonder why he and seungcheol never try babying you, especially when you have the audacity to look as cute as you do now. “do you not like them? i can always return them and get you something else...”

he practically flies out of his seat, eyes wide. “no!” he blurts. you and seungcheol are startled by the sudden outburst, your eyes mirroring his. “i mean-” he clears his throat, “i like them, i really do. but i should be the one buying you things, not the other way around.”

thankfully, you smile. “don’t worry about it! a baby like you should be bought nice things, even if you probably have better versions of them,” you tease, blowing him an air kiss.

jihoon scoffs. "you know, now that i think about it, you always pay for my things even though you’re the, and i quote, broke college student. what’s up with that?”

“because babies shouldn’t be paying for things.” you size him up, feigning innocence. “are you even allowed to have a debit card?”

seungcheol snorts at your comment, stifling his laughter by burying his head in your shoulder. on the other hand, jihoon’s jaw drops in disbelief. “this is bullying!” he yells, exasperated. “i’m being bullied by my boyfriend. hyung, you can’t be siding with him.”

the older shrugs, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “when i do it, you always kick me, but you never do anything when it’s him. it’s so fun, seeing you get all flustered.”

he glares at you both. “i actually hate you two. especially you,” he seethes, pointing at you.

you lean over to whisper in seungcheol’s ear, but you’re side-eyeing him, obviously trying to get him to hear you. “has he been fed yet? you know babies get grouchy when they don’t have food in their system.”

“(name) (last name)!!”

seungcheol knows that like him, you’re usually the oldest in most situations. because of this, taking care of those around you has practically become second nature. making sure everyone around you is healthy and happy has become instinctive, and you’re willing to go through hoops and hurdles just to achieve that. it’s one of the many traits he loves about you.

he’s grateful to have you around to take care of him, but most importantly, he’s glad that there’s someone like you taking care of jihoon. sure, he whines about not being the center of your attention, but he knows that there are times when jihoon needs it more than he does. viewed as the genius producer and leader of the vocal unit of seventeen, there’s no doubt that the pressure he receives to repeatedly produce big hits is unimaginable. though it’s something that the two of them share in common, he knows he would never willingly open up about his thoughts, afraid of burdening the already stressed leader.

thankfully, there’s you, with a warm and loving aura encompassing you. you just have this aura that makes people want to lower their guard, even for those as whole and reserved as jihoon. it undoubtedly helps relieve the tension that the young producer has, even if he claims to hate it.

even if he knows this, though, that doesn’t stop him from wanting all of your attention. you’re the only person jihoon allows to pamper him (even if he denies it), so it’s not surprising that you take every opportunity you get to do so. while it’s fun to see him get riled up, seungcheol can’t help but act bratty when your attention isn’t on him.

on an exceptionally mundane day where the members of seventeen are lounging in the practice room, taking a break after excruciating hours of nonstop dancing, you knock on the door, arms loaded with bags of takeout. a few seconds later, the door swings open, and you’re standing in front of a sweaty chan. “oh, hyung! what brings you here?” he asks, surprised.

“hey chan,” you greet with a smile. he moves to the side, giving you space to enter the room. when you do, you’re greeted by twelve boys who seem equally sweaty and exhausted, who slur their greetings. “i was going to drop off some food for cheol and hoonie, but i figured you guys would be hungry,” you explained, gesturing towards the bags. from the way their eyes light up, you can tell they’re pleased with the surprise. “i have fried chicken, tteokbokki, japchae... just a bit of everything.”

immediately, the thirteen boys gather around you, salivating at the scent wafting out of the bags. “thank you hyung, you didn’t have to do that for us,” dokyeom smiles.

you shrug, seating yourself between seungcheol and jihoon. “it’s the least i could do, don’t worry about it. now eat up! you all are probably starving.”

another chorus of thanks echoes throughout the room, and soon, everyone begins to dig in. as you chat with the other members, catching up on each others’ lives and learning about comeback preparations, you suddenly feel someone pulling you up by the armpits before placing you down on their lap. startled, you crane your neck and see seungcheol, who responds by pecking your forehead. “what was that for?” mingyu asks from across you, voicing your question.

“you haven’t paid attention to me at all,” he murmurs.

you simply hum, leaning forward to stab a piece of fried chicken. you aim the fork at seungcheol’s mouth, who eagerly sweeps in and takes a bite. from the corner of your eye, you can see the other members eyeing you two with disgust. “sometimes i forget this is a three-way relationship, seeing how you both react so differently around (name)-hyung,” seungkwan snorts, scooping more japchae onto his plate. “why can’t you be more like jihoon-hyung? at least he doesn’t whine when (name)-hyung isn’t around every five minutes like you.”

you roll your eyes. “please. hoonie likes it when i baby him, too.” you send him a wink, to which he responds with by rolling his eyes.

“you’re talking nonsense.”

“don’t lie~” you coo, leaning over and ruffling his hair. “our cute baby hoonie~”

above you, seungcheol pouts, resting his chin on your head. “why don’t you ever treat me like that, (name)? this is unfair.”

you add more tteokbokki onto your plate. “it’s fun, seeing both of your reactions. hoonie’s more fun to tease, and it’s fun seeing you get all mopey.” he pouts, though he can’t refute your claims. jihoon does have funnier reactions than he does, and judging by both the amused and unimpressed looks the other members give him, he’s sure that he looks nothing short of glum.

“you know,” wonwoo begins, “i never would’ve imagined that jihoon would’ve gotten together with them. maybe with (name), but not with seungcheol-hyung. you both cling onto him more than to each other, anyways.”

“cheol here just comes to me more because he’s scared of hoonie,” you laugh, patting his thigh. “besides, they have each other when i’m not in the picture.”

“(name), you shouldn’t spoil cheollie so much. he’s already so bratty when you’re not here,” jeonghan sighs. “i’d love to see you tease jihoon more, though. you’re the only person who can get away with it unscathed, anyways.”

both seungcheol and jihoon darken in embarrassment. “shut it, yoon jeonghan,” they snap in unison.

when seungcheol and jihoon wake up one saturday morning, they don’t expect to be clinging onto each other in bed. they also don’t expect you to be awake already, seeing how you’re usually one of the last people to get up.

“where’s (name)?” jihoon groggily asks, scooting closer to an equally tired seungcheol. though he rarely lets seungcheol hold him, his need for warmth overpowers his disdain for skinship.

the older doesn’t seem to mind his sudden touchiness, wrapping an arm around him. “dunno,” he mumbles.

neither of them further questions your disappearance, cuddling closer to each other. they both begin to drift back asleep when the floorboards of the hallway creak, signalling a new presence. the bedroom dear squeaks open, so when they both turn to face the source, they see you tiptoeing your way in. “oh, morning guys,” you whisper, sheepishly smiling. “sorry for waking you two."

“it’s fine,” jihoon yawns, slowly sitting up. beside him, seungcheol turns to dig his face into his pillow, stretching his limbs. “why are you up so early? it’s-” he pauses to glance at the clock, which reads 11:30 am. “okay, maybe it’s not so early. but what are you doing up?”

you shrug. “cheol elbowed my face earlier, and i couldn’t fall back asleep again, so i decided to get out of bed.”

seungcheol turns around and looks at you with guilty eyes, sitting up. “sorry babe,” he apologizes. he grabs your arm and pulls you onto him. “is your pretty face okay?” he asks, rubbing your cheeks.

you thread your fingers through his hair, untangling the knots as jihoon rolls over. “why don’t you come back to bed and sleep some longer? i know how irritable you can get when you don’t get enough sleep.”

you shake your head at his offer. “it’s okay, but thanks.” you reposition yourself so you’re sandwiched between seungcheol and jihoon, which is when they notice the navy apron hanging around your neck. “i made food not long ago, it should be warm still. come eat with me.” you wriggle your way out of the human sandwich, standing up again. “get up, lazy bums!”

“kiss me first,” seungcheol jeers like the brat he is.

you lean in close until your breath fans his lips. when he looks like he’s going to reciprocate, you move your lips last minute and peck his forehead instead. “brush your teeth first, brat. your breath smells like ass.” before you leave, you swiftly move your head and place a kiss on jihoon’s cheek, running out of the bedroom before either of them can do anything about it.

half an hour later, jihoon steps out of the bedroom and trudges into the kitchen. seungcheol’s still in the bathroom washing up. when he rounds the corner, he nearly screams to see you so close to him. you take this opportunity to wrap your arms around him and lift him up, to which he responds with a yelp. “put me down!” he shrieks.

you pay no mind to his shrieking, walking towards the counter. you plop down on a stool and seat him on your lap. he’s still squirming, but your grip is tight, so his fidgeting proves futile. “good morning, my baby~”

for someone who claims to hate the nickname, he always flushes a pretty red when you or seungcheol use it. even after getting together, he still isn’t used to it. “how many times do i have to tell you to not call me a baby? i’m only a year younger than you.”

“then what should i call you then?” you pucker your lips, which are met with jihoon’s palm. “my liege? my love? which do you prefer?” you flirt.

his blush darkens, and he can only look away in embarrassment. “shut up.”

your laugh is so loud it hurts his ears, but it’s endearing and true, something he never gets tired of listening to. “our baby is so cute when he’s flustered~”

“is today a bully seungcheol or a bully jihoon day, i wonder?” a voice in front of you asks. he cranes his neck as much as he can and sees seungcheol pouting in front of you two, bangs wet. “do i not get this treatment because i’m the oldest?

you stick your tongue out at him before flicking his forehead. “come on, let’s eat! you two took forever.” fortunately, seungcheol pulls out a stool for jihoon to sit on, so he’s all too eager to hop away from your clutches.

you’re sitting across from the duo, who are seated beside each other. the kitchen is mostly silent, save for the clinking of utensils. it isn’t when seungcheol takes a bite from an egg that you notice a band-aid plastered near his chin. “did you hurt yourself?” you ask, aiming your fork at his wound.

he absentmindedly runs a finger against the band-aid. “oh, this? i was shaving earlier and accidentally cut myself,” he explains. he gauges your reaction, from your furrowed eyebrows to worried eyes. just then, he lets out a cry, startling you and jihoon. “oh (name), it hurts~”

you laugh at his silliness, while jihoon snorts. “you’re so embarrassing. gosh (name), this is what happens when you spoil him too much. one single mishap and he comes running to you with fake tears. look at the monster you’ve created.”

you glance at seungcheol, and the mischievous smirk on your lips only spells for disaster. “cheol-ah, you were just fine a moment ago. i think you’re strong enough to handle a tiny cut, aren’t you?”

normally he would never allow for someone to question his strength, but when it comes to you, all he wants is your pampering, even if he makes himself look like a fool in the process. “don’t tease me, (name)~ don’t take jeonghan’s words so seriously!”

you laugh, recalling your friend’s words. you love to indulge your boyfriends, though teasing them is also fun, too. you used to only tease jihoon with your sickening babying, but seeing how seungcheol whines only fuels your mischievous nature. “i think you can handle it, cheol.” changing the topic, you smile at jihoon. “how’s the food? i think i did a good job for someone with abysmal cooking skills.”

“babe~” he whines.

“the food’s good, although your chopping skills could use some work,” jihoon comments, poking at an unevenly cut tomato.

you snort. “i’m cooking for you guys, not gordon ramsay. as long as it tastes good, it should be fine.”

“this is bullying.”

you turn to face seungcheol, who’s still pouting. “why don’t you ask hoonie?”

“because he’s going to say no. or worse, he’ll kick my shins.”

you laugh, getting up to refill your water. before you enter the kitchen, you cup seungcheol’s face and press a chaste kiss on his band-aid. “there. happy?”

the dopey, lovesick look he gives you is answer enough, and as confident and nonchalant as you are when it comes to flirting, you can feel butterflies swarming in your stomach. it never gets less exhilarating, knowing you have him wrapped around your finger. “suddenly, my cut doesn’t hurt anymore.”

jihoon gags. “disgusting.”

“you like it when we’re disgusting,” you mumble, pressing a kiss on his hair. before he can react, you swoop down and squish his cheeks, leaning in to press your lips together. he makes a disgruntled noise, though he doesn’t make any attempts to pry your hands off or to move away. when you pull away, a satisfied smile rests on your lips. “see? i knew you liked it when i babied you.”

you move your hands away from his face and lay them atop his hair. on the other hand, seungcheol squishes your cheeks together and begins peppering kisses on your face, drawing out little giggles from you. below you, jihoon frowns, folding his arms. “you’re so annoying. i could step on your toes if i wanted to.”

“if you wanted to,” you reiterate, turning your head so seungcheol doesn’t muffle your words with his lips. “key word is if, my dear. you would never actually hurt me, our cute baby.”

seungcheol relinquishes his attacks, sitting back onto the stool. “i wonder what would happen if i called him that?” he wonders out loud. suddenly, he squishes jihoon’s cheek, mirroring the fond look you always give them. “our cute baby jihoonie~”

right when he does this, seungcheol decides then that is the first and last time he’ll ever try to baby jihoon again - at least, if he wants to stay unharmed. pampering is more of your forte, anyways.

[otakusheep15]

SFW Alphabet - Barbatos

I know I haven’t posted in a while, but since today’s Barb’s b-day, I decided I would

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

The thing is, he actually really loves giving affection. He’s usually just busy, so he never has the time. But when he does have time, expect him to be all over you (respectfully of course). His favorite form of affection is when one of you is cooking and the other will come up and give a hug from behind. He melts no matter which position he’s in. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Most of y’alls hangouts include baking or having tea. He also likes when you follow him around while he works so that he has company. In his free time, he likes to take you to different stores and restaurants in both the Human World and the Devildom so that you two can sample what they have. He’s also lowkey chaotic, so he might drag you into pulling pranks every now and then. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Again, he’s actually really affectionate, so cuddles aren’t off the table. For him, cuddling after a long day is a great way to unwind. It’s also one of the few times he lets his guard down a bit and actually begins to relax. Basically what I’m saying is, please give this man cuddles. He deserves it. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He’s honestly one of the best choices if you want to settle down. He can cook, clean, and any other chores you so desire. And he also loves the idea of settling down. He’s been working for so long and, while he loves his job, it can be pretty taxing on him sometimes. The idea of just leaving it all behind to settle down with the one he loves sounds like a dream to him. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Probably the bluntest out of anyone. Like, he does not care about how the other will react. He’s more used to people breaking up with him since he cares about his job more than them in most cases, so if he’s the one initiating the break up, then it’s for a reason. And that reason is probably not a good one. He will probably make the person cry. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage isn’t all that interesting to him. he doesn’t find it all that necessary like others do. To him, just being together is enough, so he doesn’t need anyone to certify it for him. However, if you wanted to get married, he would never refuse.  

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s surprisingly gentle. He understands how sensitive emotions can be, so he’s super careful with the one’s he cares about. The last thing he wants is to hurt someone he loves, so he’s super gentle. He’s also aware of how physically strong he is, so he tries his best to control himself so that he doesn’t accidentally lash out and hurt you. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He doesn’t have a lot of time, so hugs are usually rare. But he loves them anyway. they’re a great way for him to recharge throughout the day. Just pop in every now and then and give him a quick hug and he’ll just die but you won’t know that.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a long time to say it. Not necessarily because he’s scared or not ready, but just because he doesn’t see the point in rushing it. He knows you love him and that he loves you too, so he knows the words themselves aren’t needed. When he does say it, it’ll be absolutely perfect. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He may seem like he doesn’t get jealous, but he does. In fact, he gets insanely jealous, especially of the brothers. You spend so much time with them, and he never has any time to spend with you since he’s always working. He hates that you two never seem to have time to be together, and that ends up making him jealous. Just give him some attention and he should calm down some. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are so amazing. He always knows just what to do and when/where to do it. You will always be satisfied with him. His favorite place to kiss you is the nape of your neck since he likes the reaction it gets out of you. He also likes when you kiss his cheek since he finds it cute. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Oh, he hates kids. Absolutely despises them. The only exception is Luke since he is tolerable for the most part. But other than that, kids are one of his least favorite things. They’re messy, loud, and distract him from his work like Dia and the brothers lol.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He usually has to wake up pretty early in the mornings, so they can go one of two ways. If you’re an early riser like him, you two will get ready and go to the kitchen to have breakfast together before he has to start work. If you tend to sleep in, he’ll get out of bed without waking you and send in another servant to bring you breakfast in bed with a schedule of where he has to be today so that you can come find him. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Night time is pretty much the only time he ever gets to just relax and not have to worry about work. Expect to be pulled away to his room and not leave until morning. This is maybe the only time he can spend with you without the fear of being pulled away from you, and he’s going to enjoy it damnit. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I doubt he’d ever reveal everything about himself. After all, he is quite mysterious. Obviously, he’d trust you enough to open up about some aspects of himself, but mostly just surface level things. If you really want to know something about him, your best bet is going to Diavolo, and even then it’s most likely a lost cause. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

This man is the definition of patient. It takes a lot to rile him up enough to actually snap. He’s been working a Dia’s butler forever now, so he knows how to keep his emotions under control. He may feel irritated or annoyed fairly often, but he will not let it show unless he is truly angered. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Of course he remembers absolutely everything about you. You so much as mention something you enjoy, he already has it to give to you. He has a great memory, and that’s only enhanced by how in love with you he is. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He isn’t one to have any one specific favorite, but he does love any time you two bake together. It’s such a calming thing, and you two can simply just have fun alone without having to deal with Dia or the brothers. It always brings such a smile to his face when he remembers all of the baking sessions you two have had. Even if you don’t know how to bake, that’s fine with him, cause he’s with you. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s very protective, but in a subtle way. He’s never one to be bold or over the top, but he still feels the need to protect you if he ever feels you’re in danger. Honestly, he’s scary enough on his own, so most other demons tend to leave you alone if you’re with him. And because you’re always around him, his scent started to rub off on you, alerting other demons to stay away even when he isn’t there. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’s used to planning huge events, so he can go as all out as you want. You want a party with every demon in the Devildom? It’s done. You just want a lowkey date alone with him? He can do that to. It all depends on what you want him to do. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has a hard time separating himself from his work. After all, he’s been working for Dia for so long, so it makes sense that it would be hard for him to leave it alone, even for a few hours. Sometimes, you may have to pull him away from his work and force him to rest. If that doesn’t work, you might have to talk to Dia about getting him some time off. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He is concerned with his looks, but only because of who he works for. He knows that he has to keep up appearances lest he embarrass Dia at all. Other than that, he could honestly care less about his looks. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Quite honestly, he was already incomplete before he even met you, and he’s still somewhat incomplete now. He’s never once felt whole, and that didn’t change very much when you arrived. Yes, he loves you, but you didn’t change much of how complete he feels inside. So, yeah, he’d feel incomplete without you, but he feels incomplete regardless. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

This isn’t so much a headcanon as just me being an angsty mess, but I just love the idea of him being lowkey jealous of Lucifer. I mean, ever since Luci fell and started working for Dia, he’s been getting so much credit for basically everything. I like the idea that maybe he gets a bit jealous of Luci and the attention and praise that he gets despite doing the same amount of work. (and yeah, I know this totally isn’t the case at all, and I’m sure he gets plenty of attention, but I love the idea of jealous, and kinda sad Barb). 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like someone who's lazy and doesn’t take work seriously. he also doesn’t like anyone who consistently distracts him from his work without legitimate reason. Also anyone who insults Dia or presents any possible threat to him. Other than that, he’s surprisingly chill with almost anyone. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

More like lack of sleep habit honestly. I genuinely don’t believe that he sleeps. And if he does, it’s for a couple hours at the most. Really, he just works too much to sleep that much.  

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[carrion-carry-on]

Whumptober No. 20

It’s been a long day

I am tired as all hell lol which is why I decided to write this one like I did, when I did (at 0200 hours, dying of lack of rest due to my abhorrent sleep “schedule”). This is somewhat related to the previous post, concerning training/assessment time for the squad. After they’ve finished up, everyone is exhausted and not too willing to talk about anything.

AO3 Link

The moment members of Fort Finium arrive “home,” they shuffle into the common room and drop to their preferred places. Each bears evidence of the hours of abuse doled out by “their betters” in the form of assessments. Each is used to such treatment. That does not make it easier.

Laith, for her part, feels as though her skull is about to explode. The constant shape changes she’s had to perform, trying (and often failing) to hold an unnatural in between form, it’s worn her down. And the extra studies hadn’t helped. Being their leader, she needed to know strategy, policy, discipline and conduct, and so much more. It is all utterly exhausting. She falls down to sprawl across the remaining couch and determines to stay there until the room stops moving.

Colm felt he had it the easiest for today. Given the fact that his arm had been broken in the second or third test, he’d been dismissed early. He did his best to ignore the part where he’d had to subject himself to surgery in order to properly fix the arm. It doesn’t help to grip about things like that when he’d recover so quickly; faster than his friends with exception of Lou. Colm decidedly leaned back against a bookshelf he knew would not move and closed his singular eye.

Lou didn’t say or do much of anything. She dragged herself (rather dramatically) through the entryway and remained on the floor. Her body was working to repair itself and she lacked the functionality of her legs. They’d given her a taste of torture, always demanding she recover faster. But that’s just it - she doesn’t mind being in pieces. But they minded. It was fine that she didn’t want to get up. Nobody bothers her here.

Charter seems to be none the worse for wear. To a stranger, they might spot his resting smile and think he’d had a pleasant afternoon. Those that knew him had the sense that it was a tired expression; Charter doesn’t smile as often as outsiders believe. A look like that meant he no longer had the energy to care. Simply smiling is easiest. And that is how he completed tasks - smiling. He sat, or rather sank, into a one person sofa, head to his chest, eyes shut tight.

Talos says nothing as it walks past them all and sits down in a corner, facing the walls. Their own tests usually overloaded their processors and overwhelmed sensitive tools. Even now small cracks of electricity jumped from circuits to PlastOre “skin” to the surrounding air. They didn’t like stimulation of any kind at points like this; everyone does their best not to disturb its peace.

Basma has never before had to undergo such rigorous trials. Another unexpected quirk to being stationed at Fort Finium. She was starting to think of the unexpected as her only expectation. Maybe then she won’t be surprised anymore. It hardly mattered, as he own tests had apparently ended early, too. She could not quite recall all of the details, but there had been a strong presence helping soothe her breathing and she’d recovered in the medical tent. Her place was sitting, legs stretched out and crossed at the knee, helmeted head in her hands.

None of them spoke for a time. No one needed to. In that small, quiet moment, they were together in the same thoughts and feelings. They despised the treatment given to them. So carelessly were they run ragged - knowing their superiors had ordered it increased the squad’s resentment. But none would say it, much less act on it. They’re all here for the long haul. And, given they’re left relatively alone for a majority of the time, ignored by the armed forces at large, perhaps this was a low price to pay.

[insertmesoftly]

Not sure why I'm venting this into the cold and uncaring ether but I'm spiraling quite unpromted here tonight. No, well, I guess I do know why. I had a friend whom I really loved and who motivated me to write and to come up with a bunch of ideas for both our blorbos. All of my Bruno and Silco stuff came from my desire to please them. I'd go as far as to say most of what I've posted came from our conversations. This blog could not have continued without their involvement in my life. I really really treasured them and tried to do everything right but. They didn't reciprocate the same level of effort.

It hurts.

It hurts that they left because they chose to leave me rather than to work through anything. They were completely wrong in the situation but still, they victimized themself. It's so jarring that we had been so good, in such a good place where I would have never thought they'd be able to do such a thing as to leave like that, where they kept telling me they loved me and I felt we understood we wanted to stay friends for a long time... and just.

No. It was all in my head. One day later. One mistake on their part later. And I wasn't allowed to get upset, they just left.

Now they're free to talk about their sad life, their shitty irl friends, and all their woes. Free to continue bitching about people and fandoms and to wonder why they feel so lonely at nights when it's clear now that they never intend to fix anything.

I am full of spite. I hope their poor life choices catch up to them in a beautiful crescendo. I did nothing wrong, but they never cared anyways. Now I'll either be another forgotten memory in their spotty mind that never meant a thing, or another person to despise for all the wrong reasons, simply because I exist.

They're a cracked jem. A broken test subject. They suck, period.

I've posted most everything I wrote for or with them. I should finish the job and move on. It takes time to heal, but it's never not hard.

I still get into media and have thoughts wondering about what they would've said. I see Silco and I can only feel a bit of anguish. I still can't forget them. Shit sucks, lol. There's a hole in my heart they don't deserve but they're there anyways. Agh. Alright thats enough of me. Out this post goes to get no attention. No one reads my personal updates. It is what it is

[svenotes]

drabble #1

❝ the one where your one night stand turns out to be your boss ❞

[ PAIRING ] : jeon jungkook x reader | bff!hoseok x reader

[ GENRE ] : office au (not the tv show lol) + crack, smut (mentioned)

[ WORD COUNT ] : 1.7k

[ WARNINGS ] : mentions of sex, a lot of banter, jungkook only appears for like two seconds so this is more best friend!hoseok and oc bickering 

[ AUTHOR’S NOTE ] : i’m trying to get back into writing, so here’s some funny banter w plot

drabbles | masterlist | wattpad cross post | ao3 cross post

“Besides, when have—!”

“No.”

Hoseok frowns, eyes narrowing on you. “You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

Going through your mental checklist, you neatly place the documents in your hands on your boss’s desk. Today has been a hectic day at the office. It was a miracle that you even managed to finish everything by the end of your shift. On days where you can barely tell the difference between left and right, you found yourself clocking extra hours. You suppose you have Hoseok to thank for that. By some grace of God, he was assigned on the same project as you and as annoying as your friend could be, he also knew when to keep things professional.

He’s already set to leave for the day, waiting for you to finish up. Since the days are getting shorter, he’s made the habit of walking you to your car after work. He stares at you with a dubious look in his eyes, and you hold it for a moment before you walk towards your cubicle to pick up your keys.

“I know you,” you start, grabbing your purse and keys. “I know what you’re going to say because I know you.”

Hoseok scoffs at that, crossing his arms over his chest. A part of you hopes he stops his questioning and drops the topic altogether. However, you know Hoseok. Dropping a subject isn’t his specialty, even if the world demands that he should.

As you try to leave your office, Hoseok blocks your path. “Y/N.”

You keep a straight face. “Hoseok.”

“I am your best friend—!”

“Debatable.”

He ignores you and continues, “And I love you—!”

“Also debatable,” you murmur.

“—which is why I cannot for the life me understand why you would keep secrets about your sex life from me.”

He catches the attention of a few of your co-workers. You brush them off with a smile, wishing them good-night before you pull Hoseok inside an empty office by his loosened tie. He lets out a choked cough as you drag him in and shut the door behind him, keeping your conversation away from prying ears.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Hoseok hisses, rubbing his neck. “I just want some details about the new guy you’re screwing. How’d you meet? How long has this been going on? Why was I never informed you were dating someone?”

You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose. “For the millionth time, I am not dating anyone. And there’s nothing to know—!”

“You’re lying! Again!” He points a finger in your face. “You left the bar with someone on the night of Ellie’s birthday and you’ve been secretive ever since.” He narrows his eyes. “Who are you hiding?”

You swat his fingers away, brows furrowed. “I’m an open book. I have nothing to hide.”

“Bullshit. You're as open as Yoongi.”

“How is Yoongi?” You ask, not-so-subtly deflecting. “It's been a while since I’ve seen him. You need to stop keeping him all to yourself. I miss my ex-roommate.”

Hoseok and you have known each other for as long as you’ve been working for the company. He sat in the cubicle beside yours and over time you became good friends. Yoongi, your roommate at the time, stopped by the office to drop off some lunch and met Hoseok before you could introduce them.

At first, the two despised each other, their personalities crashing — Hoseok too bright, and carefree and Yoongi more mellow and conserved. However, things began to shift between them over time and now Hoseok walks around with a ring in his jacket pocket at all times.

Hoseok’s cheeks dust pink. “I haven't proposed yet if that's what you're wondering.”

“Just let me know who’s best man I’m going to be,” you laugh.

“None of ours, ‘cause I’m going to ban you from the wedding—!”

Your eyes widen, appalled. “Why—!”

“Who are you dating?”

Your mouth clasps shut, glaring at him. “No one.”

It’s not a lie, Jungkook and you are not dating. Your relationship with him was far from romantic. However, Hoseok doesn’t know that and you’re not sure how you're supposed to tell him. Especially when it seems as though your past is trying to relive itself in the form of another man. You worked hard to move on from when you fell in love with your co-worker — you’ve worked so hard to put the past behind you and keep your professional life separate from your personal. Yet, it’s as if all of that hangs by a thread, threatening to slip through your fingers because history is trying to repeat itself.

How were you supposed to know your kind-of one-night stand was the youngest heir of Jeon Enterprises? You wouldn’t have dared to take a bite of the forbidden fruit if you knew.

A headache forms at the very thought of Hoseok’s lecture once you explain to him you unintentionally fucked your boss. It’s why you’ve been avoiding him and deflecting his questions throughout the day. You sigh, meeting his eyes.

What Hoseok doesn’t know cannot hurt him, right?

His eyes narrow on you, mouth opening for a rebuttal, but the knock on the door silences him. Your attention turns towards the door and you forget to breathe at the sight of the man at the door.

Jungkook's eyes immediately find yours, a small smile tugging on his lips. He looks sweet — innocent, even. Nothing like the man who feasts on you like fine cuisine. Your breath gets caught in your throat when you vividly remember the sinful things he can do with those lips — that mouth. You push the thoughts to the side, mirroring his smile despite the rapid pace of your heartbeat.

“Mr. Jeon,” Hoseok speaks first, clearing his throat.

Jungkook's eyes widen a fraction as he finds Hoseok standing a few feet from you, mirroring the shocked expression you wore moments ago. As if he didn’t even notice Hoseok’s presence.

“Please, call me Jungkook,” he starts, sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. “There’s no need for formalities.”

Hoseok simply nods. “Right. Jungkook.”

“I — uh,” you clear your throat, ignoring the heat that rises to your cheeks as Hoseok's scrutinizing gaze flickers between the two of you. “Did you need anything?”

“Ah,” Jungkook’s eyes flicker towards Hoseok. “Nothing in particular. I was going around trying to get to know the team better. You just seemed preoccupied earlier and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I thought I’d catch you now.”

“Oh,” you say, stupidly.

“We were was just about to head home,” Hoseok adds, glancing between the two of you. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

"I see,” Jungkook hums and his lips curl into a frown momentarily. “It was nice meeting you today. I look forward to working with you both.”

You hold his gaze for a moment before you respond, “Yea, likewise.”

“Me too,” Hoseok deadpans.

Swallowing, you ignore the look Hoseok sends you. It’s clear, he knows; he's put the pieces together. You will the heat in the apples of your cheeks to dissipate as you keep your composure.

“Goodnight.” Jungkook nods at Hoseok before returning his attention to you. “I’ll see you later.”

“Night.”

As he leaves, his gaze lingers on you for a second too long before he walks away. You let out a breath of air you didn’t realize you were holding, hand resting against your thundering heart. Hoseok waits for the door to shut and for Jungkook to round the corner before—!

“I’m not going to lie,” he begins, leaning against the desk, “that was painful to watch.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re fucking him.” It wasn't a question.

“We slept together a few times,” you sigh, pressing your fingers against your temple. “He said he worked at his father’s company, but I didn’t know his father was CEO of Jeon Enterprises. It didn’t even piece together that he was the Jungkook our team manager was talking about until I saw him this morning.”

He lets your words sink in, humming as he studies you. “He was totally gonna ask to fuck you tonight.”

“Shut up.” You throw your keys at him, but he catches it with ease. “We’re… supposed to meet tonight.”

He raises a brow. “To fuck?”

“Mhm.”

You’re supposed to meet tonight for a date, but Hoseok already knows too much. Telling him you decided to humour Jungkook for a date will only worsen your headache. Mainly because Hoseok will tell you the only reason you’re humouring him is since you like him.

Only two weeks have passed since you first met and look at the mess it’s already created. What should’ve been strictly a fuck-buddy relationship has turned for the worst.

“You probably shouldn’t.”

“I know.” You slouch, defeated as you lean against the desk beside him. “I know.”

“Wow — wait.” Hoseok’s shock turns into a frown. “You bailed on me Sunday night for mediocre dick, didn’t you?”

“Not mediocre dick,” you sigh, reminiscing the last time you went over. Although, it doesn’t last for long — “Ow! Hoseok, what the fuck?”

“That's for bailing on me,” he snorts before flicking your forehead again. “And that was for telling me his dick game is good.”

You roll your eyes, scoffing, but that doesn’t stop the rush of memories from last weekend. Limbs entangled between sheets, hands grazing every inch of your bodies and lips twined with yours. Your body still remembers the comfort of his warmth as he brought you to euphoria over and over again. A mere memory makes your knees weak.

Your phone buzzes in your hands and you suppress your groan.

[ 6:14 pm ] jungkook (dude w the nice dick): you still coming over?

You don’t realize Hoseok leans over to read your text until —!

“Booty-call.”

Flicking his forehead, you ignore Jungkook’s message. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Alright,” he says, following after you. He keeps quiet until you’ve both entered the elevator, away from other’s prying ears. “Are you going to visit him tonight?”

“I don’t know.”

Your thoughts are torn between right and wrong — your career and pleasure. Meeting him tonight and ending things would be the right decision, but you’re not entirely sure you would be able to avoid his advances if you tried.

You’re screwed.

It’s been long since you crossed the Gates of Eden and sunken your teeth into the divine fruit, and now you’re addicted to the taste.

You are so incredibly screwed.

all rights reserved © 2021 svenotes

[dracosaurusrex]

Bookworms (Draco x Reader)

Summary: Where Y/N and Draco discover that there’s much more to each other than what meets the eye.

Word Count: 11k

Genre: Fluff (slight angst in the beginning); enemies-to-friends-to-lovers ; No Voldy AU

TW: Self-harm but it’s not too much.

A/N: Hi friends! I want to say that I don’t really know where I was going with this, but that would be a lie. So a couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine (we’ll name her @minty-malfoy​) posted a tag thread and one of her responses involved her wanting to own a bookshop. It got me thinking of a bookshop romance and ugh YES. With dark academia, how could I not? Fast forward to last week, I ask her for a favor without realizing it was her birthday, and I felt so embarrassed LOL. So, yes, this is your gift my friend. I hope you enjoy it. Keep shining like the light you are!

Besides that, I genuinely hope that if you come across this, you enjoy this big chunggus of a oneshot. I apologize if it’s slow at some parts. I also didn’t proofread the end. I should probably shut up now before I start questioning my writing omll

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Written in pages bound by leather covers are worlds that bring you out of your own. An adventure. An escape. Within that escape sprouts myriads of emotions and thoughts, but what you value the most amongst them all are its gifts of perspective and solace. 

Y/N Y/L/N lived the majority of her life with her mother. Her father, who was an auror, passed when she was young, leaving them to surmount the challenges of the world alone. Together, they owned a decent bookshop in Hogsmeade. Its shelves lined the walls, occupying the entire expanse from the floor up to the ceiling. Within them were books of varying genres, filling your senses with the soothing aromas of old parchment, sounds of turning pages, and the feeling of warmth and coziness. To others, this little shop was known as Avenoir Books. However, you knew it as home, your safe space, your comfort zone. 

Your mother was the one responsible for introducing you to your love for reading. Growing up, you’d recall the sound of her voice as she read to you--the way that it cradled you with reassurance when times got rough. She always managed to disguise her worries, yet in moments when she thought she was alone, you had witnessed her at her lowest points. It was only within your knowledge that you knew life was difficult, for your mother would shield you from the problems that reality had actually  presented to you. She carried the weight of both your worlds on her shoulders, giving you protection by surrounding you with new ones to step into as you sat yourself in the confines of your cozy shop. It was because of her that reading became your refuge, and it remained so when you went away for school at Hogwarts.

Your mother’s resilience fueled your desire to become strong, to become great, to create a new life where you wouldn’t have to see her cry in secret. She was the reason you had been sorted into the Slytherin house in your first year, and she was also the reason why you’d been so successful within your 4 years of schooling by far. 

You were a quiet Slytherin, mostly keeping to yourself while observing those around you. The most interesting and exasperating individual of the entire student body was a proud and arrogant boy, Draco Malfoy. He had never picked on you, but there were countless times you had witnessed his relentlessness with others, especially with the Golden Trio. Each and every instance increased your despise for him, furthermore deepening your ardent desire to keep your distance. However, it seemed that the universe had other plans for you today.

Weekdays kept you immersed in bulky textbooks--notes constantly jotted down through endless heaps of parchment. On weekends, however, you swapped your robes for a work apron, helping your mother around the shop. She’d situate herself by the counter and typically manned the ground level, while you’d be propped on a sliding ladder, managing books that sat on shelves higher up. You had a system in Avenoir Books. Customers would typically roam about the main floor, which was occupied by books from famous publishers and authors. However, for books that were more obscure or specialized, customers would head to the counter and gain consultation from your mother. In return, she’d direct them to you, prompting you to slide amongst the shelves in search for the requested titles, genres, or authors.

The store typically had a steady flow of people passing through. You have come across many different personalities and backgrounds throughout your life. Today was quite different, however. The bustling noises slowly died down upon the entrance of a pair of notorious figures, the air suddenly becoming tense. There stood Lucius Malfoy. His chin was pointed up, platinum locks flowing over his shoulders, walking stick in hand, his eyes scanning the shop with a pompous expression on his face. Standing to his side was Draco. He maintained the same look as his father, which soon featured a scowl as it managed to grace his face. 

You heard the older man mutter, “Let’s get this over with, Draco.”

The two made their way through the vicinity as gazes were trained on them. Even you stopped what you were doing to observe their actions. Lucius approached your mother, who gave much effort to keep a welcoming smile plastered on her lips.

“Mr. Malfoy, what brings you the pleasure of stopping by?” Her tone was sweet and quite inviting, although it didn’t do much to shift the man’s attitude.

“You have quite the selection here at Avenoir--I’m impressed.” His tone on the other hand was laced with a tinge of venom and arrogance. Lucius' eyes kept trained on the expanses of shelves until they landed on you. 

“I assume that’s your daughter, Y/N? Draco’s told me much about her.” You couldn’t decipher whether he meant well, moreover what Draco could’ve possibly said about you to his father. You weren’t aware that the boy even knew of your existence since all you did was keep away from him at all costs. 

Your mother responds, “Yes, she’s a fifth year at Hogwarts. I assume your son’s the same?”

“You’re not wrong. Although, that’s not what I’m here for…” As Lucius continues his consultation with your mother, Draco takes the liberty to browse through the various genres of books featured on the ground floor. You don’t move from your position, rather you keep your gaze on him, observing his reactions. He picks up a familiar script. It’s a muggle book entitled, The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa. You witness him flip through the first couple of pages before focusing in on the first chapter. Slowly, you see the scowl begin to leave his face--the tension between his eyebrows dissipates, his lips release the frown that had situated itself there, and his eyes take on a more solemn and concentrated expression. It contrasted greatly to the image he maintained at school. You realized then that when he wasn’t so obnoxious and loud, Draco was actually quite handsome. 

“Draco, drop that filthy muggle book!” You weren’t aware of Lucius approaching until the snake embellishment that topped his walking stick violently landed on the boy’s shoulder. You saw him wince in pain as he dropped the book, rubbing the area to soothe the harsh sensation. Before you could react, your mother calls out to you. 

“Y/N, Alchemy, Argo Pyrites.” You broke out from your daze and simply nodded in understanding. The duo now had their eyes on you as you charmed the ladder to take you to the location of the book. You actively scanned the spines for the targeted title, releasing a small “aha” when you find it. Once it’s in your hands, you blow off traces of dust and ensure that the book is in mint condition. It doesn’t take you long to make your way down. As you do so, you approach Lucius and lend the book over. He takes his time to check for any disparities before meeting your gaze once again.

“Y/N is it? Pleasure to meet you.” His tone was anything but kind, but you go along with it, doing your best to maintain courtesy.

“Pleasure’s all mine Mr. Malfoy. It’s very kind of you to stop by.” 

“Certainly. Draco, say goodbye to your friend, let’s get going.” Draco looks at you from top to bottom before releasing a smirk. With a quick raise of his eyebrows, he turns around and follows his father out of the shop. You watch their figures disappear into the crowd before making your way to your mother.

“Draco seems like a nice boy, doesn’t he?” You scoff and cross your arms in disagreement.

“Oh please. ‘Nice’ is the last thing he’ll ever be.” She gives you a knowing gaze. 

“Did you see how his father hit his shoulder? Even I was shocked. That poor boy never saw it coming.” You recall the pained expression that Draco had on his face. You supposed his parents imposed their pureblood supremacist ideals on the boy’s choice of interests as well.

“It’s not like he doesn’t deserve the pity, mother. You should see him at school. Obnoxious! Rude! Arrogant! He bullies others mercilessly!” You expected her face to contort in disgust and disappointment, but she only gave that familiar motherly smile.

“We can’t always assume the extent of a person’s character based on what they show, darling. Similar to how we should not judge a book by its cover.” She emphasized the last point knowing that you would understand. You could never fight your mother. Despite the difficulty of getting to where you were in life, she always embodied grace and wisdom through it all. 

She spoke again, “Did you happen to see the book he was reading?”

“It was The Memory Police.” You couldn’t understand why she asked. She approached the book that Draco had dropped and picked it up. When she returned, she looked at you expectantly.

“You’re going to see him again this Monday, are you not?” You nodded, “I want you to give this to him.” Your eyes widened.

“Mother, I couldn’t possibly-”

“No excuses, Y/N! A kind gesture never hurt anyone.” Her tone softens, and you knew you couldn’t say no. 

“The look he had on his face reminded me of you when you were younger. Do you remember?” You only sighed, remembering the relief you felt when you cozied up to a book. She continued, “He seemed more peaceful having a little bit of time to escape don’t you think?” Your shoulders, which were once tense, dropped. 

You groaned, “Fine! I’ll do it.” Mother, 1, Y/N, 0.

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Throughout the remainder of the weekend, you thought of ways you could slip the book to the platinum-haired boy without having to actually confront him. You couldn’t understand why your mother wanted to reach out to him so bad. Never in your entire life have you seen her extend that much sympathy to a customer before. Ever! That boy is a git. A rich one at that! Everything was practically given to him on a silver plate. Why would he care so much about a measly book?

These questions roamed through your mind as you packed your school bag the following Monday morning. The book was settled on top of your desk, staring and waiting for you to pick it up. With dread, you reluctantly take it and place it into your bag. With one last look in the mirror, you grab your things and make your way to the Great Hall for breakfast. As you enter the massive room, you take a seat by yourself in the Slytherin table. You took a glance to find a familiar blonde mop of hair. All of his friends were there in their usual spot with him being the only one absent, which was weird because he never skipped breakfast. Wanting to get your mom’s task over with, you approach the group. They were chattering amongst themselves, not noticing your presence.

You cleared your throat, grabbing their attention, “Um, hey. Do you happen to know where Malfoy is?” They only looked at you in awe.

“The famous Y/N actually speaks? Didn’t think I’d ever hear a word come out of you.” The girl, Pansy, pointed out. You rolled your eyes.

Another girl, Daphne, kicked the prior’s ankle, eliciting a loud yelp from her. She spoke out, “I’m sorry Y/N. He said he’s not feeling too well, so he’s cooped up in the dorm.” You appreciated the softness of her voice in contrast to Pansy’s strong tone.

“Why do you ask? You never talk to him.” It was Blaise’s turn to chime in.

“I have some business with him.” You stood there, feeling the awkwardness creeping up. Your fingers were twirling the ends of your hair and you casted your gaze elsewhere. They just stared at you, still comprehending the sound of your voice.

“Well?” You asked. 

“Ah, yes. He’s in dorm 7.” You nodded your head in appreciation and turned around to leave. You had about an hour before class, giving you ample time to make the delivery and go about with your day. At least that was what you thought.

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Once you enter the Slytherin common room, you make a turn towards the boys’ dormitories. As you take the stairs leading to it, you’re met with a corridor that takes a close resemblance to the girls’. Doors were lined on either side with numbers used to differentiate them--Draco’s room was located all the way down the hall. Oddly enough, the closer you approached it, the more nervous you felt. You never imagined yourself stepping into this part of the dungeons, moreover doing so to drop something off for a boy you despised. You yelled at your mom internally for putting you through this.

The distance between you and the door kept shrinking, and as you drew closer, you began to feel strange. Something was off. The uncertainty looming in the air grew thicker until you finally found yourself standing in front of the room. Before knocking, you press your ear against the entrance. There was complete silence. You also notice that the door was not closed all the way. The animosity you felt towards the boy was gradually replaced with worry and concern. 

“Malfoy? Are you in there?” You ask hesitantly. There was no response.

“Draco?” You press your ear further into the door in hopes to pick up any sign of his presence. When you received none, you pushed forward, entering the room with caution. You were met with the sight of a half-made bed, Draco’s robes and uniform laid out on top. His desk still had books turned to different pages, accompanied with an open ink bottle and quill left upon pieces of parchment. All these things, yet still no signs of the Malfoy heir. You stood in your place for a moment, trying to concentrate on his whereabouts. However, your thoughts were interrupted by the subtle sounds of sniffles. Your eyes widened as your focus redirected to locating its source. It was then that you noticed another door leading to what you believed was the bathroom. The noises became more prominent as you walked towards it. You felt nervous and uncertain about what you were going to find. As you wrap your hand around the knob to open it, your eyes widened at the sight of the boy grabbing his wrist, which was dripping with blood. On his side was a razor blade. 

You gasped as his eyes met yours, your heart breaking in the process. In front of you wasn’t the same bully everyone knew. No. In front of you laid a half-naked Draco whose eyes were filled with what seemed to be hopelessness, defeat, and fright. Tear stains stroke his cheeks, his eyebrows furrowed with pain. His hair stuck to his forehead as sweat accompanied his tears. The hand gripping his wrist was stained with blood, its pressure only forcing the flow to increase. 

“Draco!” You didn’t know what overcame you in that instance. You frantically threw your bag off your shoulders and proceeded to kneel next to him, taking in his wounded arm. The boy retaliated.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” His voice was defensive and strained, but it didn’t faze you.

“I’m trying to save your sorry arse! Look at how much blood you’re losing. Merlin!” You returned a gaze that matched the intensity of his. The concern in your own tone heightened as you dug into the pockets of your robes in search of your wand.

“I don’t want to be saved! Don’t you get it? Leave me alone!” He wriggled in your grasp, only inducing you to tighten the grip you had on him. He gasped at the stinging sensation, tears streaming down his face. Tears began to fill the brim of your eyes. 

“Stop spewing nonsense, Malfoy! I can’t leave you and I won’t!” The pained expression on your face caught his gaze. Tears had already spilled over. “Please, Draco. Let me heal you.” The boy stopped his protests upon hearing the desperation that was laced in your voice. You used the back of your hand that was gripping your wand to wipe the tears off of your face. After calming yourself down, you hover your hand over his gashes to perform the healing spell, a serious expression now spreading across your face. 

“Vulnera sanentur.” His blood begins to retract back to its origin, the rate of its flow slowing down.

“Vulnera sanentur.” Your wand continues to trace Draco’s wounds. The traces of residue begin to disappear. Draco looks at your concentrated face and then turns his gaze back onto his wrists.

You perform the incantation for a final time, “Vulnera sanentur.” The cuts disappear completely and you let out a sigh of relief. You cast a look at Draco’s stunned face before scanning his shirtless torso. It was also filled with scars that were most likely left to heal on their own. The frown on your face grows as a rush of thoughts suddenly occupy your mind. How long has he been doing this to have this many cuts and scars? Draco, behind his arrogant mask, was alone. You didn’t need him to vocalize that fact for you. It was written across his face. The expression glossed over his eyes longed for the company that he never truly had. 

In that instant, you knew your mother was right. You really can’t assume the extent of a person’s character based on what they showed.

“Would it be okay if I took care of you for a bit? I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone like this.” Your voice was soft as you released small hiccups signalling the end of your crying. Draco, who has no energy to object, simply nods. Your thoughts drift to your mother and how she was strong enough to carry both your burdens. As you recalled the love she gave you, the sour feelings that you had towards the boy faded. At that moment your only task of importance was to clean him up.

It was silent the entire time. You picked Draco up and propped him up onto a stool. He did nothing but keep his gaze on you as you walked to and fro in the bathroom. You took a face towel that was hanging on the side of the sink and wet it with cold water. You then wring the towel of excess water and wiped his face. The streaks that the tears made disappeared. You proceeded to his forehead, getting rid of the sweat and pushing his bangs upwards. You then began to wipe his neck, making sure that there was a comfortable distance between you two.

“Chin up.” You demanded. He obeyed, and you wiped over the expanse between both jaws, his throat, and down to his collar bones. You yelled at yourself mentally to focus on the action instead of the curves and crevices outlined by his skin. Luckily, you were able to keep a straight face, making no sign of being flustered whatsoever. You step back to wet the towel again before proceeding to wiping his shoulders. At this point, you began feeling warmth spreading across your face. Draco let out a small laugh.

“Like what you see?” He asks with a broken voice. You snickered at the way he managed to be funny at a time like this.

“I’m only being nice, Malfoy. Don’t let your head get big. Not that it hasn’t already.” You say, giving a coy smile. You gulp discretely as you make your way down his chest. His eyes never leave you. You purposefully wipe that area much faster to prevent you from blushing even more. Once you get to his wrists, you rub circles on the area where the cuts used to be before running the towel over it and to his hands.

“How do you feel?” You ask.

“Better.”

“Good. Cup your hands for me please.” He follows your instruction once again. “Aguamenti.” A stream of water flows from the tip of your wand and into his palms.

“Drink up.” He remains obedient. Once he finishes, you pour in water once again, having him repeat the act. You feel at ease as he gulps the water down. His body still looks limp, and his face still gaunt, but it was a huge improvement considering the state he was in when you walked in. 

Your gaze settles on the floor and the stray blade, both covered in dried blood. “Tergeo.” You mutter, cleaning up the mess.  

You point your wand to the blade, “Evanesco.” It disappears in an instant. You turn back to Draco. You wrap your arm around his torso and bring him close to you to help him maintain his balance as you step out of the bathroom.

“Where do you keep your sleepwear?” You ask. He points to the cabinet, and you go forth to take out a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. You hand him the articles of clothing and turn around to leave him to change. 

He laughs, “You’re silly you know? You’ve already seen me half-naked, yet you turn around.” You only shrug and chuckle before turning around to meet his gaze. He leans on the side of the bed, arms crossed.

“I have yet to ask, Y/N. What brought you here in the first place?” You were so absorbed in healing and cleaning Draco that your initial purpose for coming over flew past your mind.

“Oh yes,” You pick up your bag that laid on the floor, and rummaged through it before pulling out his copy of The Memory Police. 

“Mother saw how peaceful you looked when reading this book at the shop. She heavily insisted that I bring it to you, saying that you can use an escape too.” You lean on the space beside him as you hand him the book. His eyes widened as he cautiously took the book out of your hands, as if his father would appear right this instant. He scanned the cover, and flipped through the pages, his eyes glossed with disbelief. The sight of him like this made you imagine how much of his life had been kept in a cage. Wealth did not serve as a basis for happiness. You could only guess how much expectations were held for the Malfoy heir.

“My father would object to me having this.” You nodded in understanding, rubbing his shoulder to comfort him. He looks up at you.

“I won’t push you to tell me the reasons why you decided to harm yourself, but I’m certain that you need a break from whatever bothered you in the first place. Please, keep it. My mother will nag me without end if I don't deliver it.” He smiles.

“Thank you. I mean it.” Your jaw dropped. He rolled his eyes.

“Draco Malfoy actually knows how to say ‘thank you’.” You say, mocking a look of disbelief. He scoffed and his scowl reappeared in an instant. 

You raised your arms in defense, “What? You can’t blame me.” You both share a laugh before silence overtakes you once again. Your head faced downward, and you kept your sights on your shoes.

“Thank you for letting me take care of you. It frightened me to see you like that.” You fumbled with your fingers.

“It’s a miracle that you came, Y/N. I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself if you hadn’t yourself.” You smiled. You were appalled with the fact that there was a soft side to the boy. You looked at him, remembering the comfort that you found in your mother’s love through books. In that moment, an idea sprung forth in your mind.

“Ever since I was young, it was only me and my mother. Father passed when I was 2, and we were left alone to face the world.” You looked at him to find that his attention was on you. You continued, “There were plenty of times I felt hopeless and scared, but it was the comfort of her voice that washed that feeling away. She’d stay by my side at night to read me books, and she always managed to take me to worlds that detached me from the reality that we lived in. She told me that Avenoir, besides it being a bookstore, was established to become my safe space, my comfort zone, my refuge, if you will. She’s why I love reading.” You took Draco’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“And I want to extend that to you. Please feel free to come by whenever okay? We’ve never been that close, and you have been pretty gittish, but no one deserves to feel alone.” You gave the boy a reassuring smile. 

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Draco gazed at his hand, which was still squeezed in yours. He then shifted his view back to the smile on your face. Y/N Y/L/N, the most reserved and studious Slytherin in their year, surely had a lot to say, but it was surprisingly the most relief he has felt in a long while, if ever. She gave his shoulder a little squeeze before picking up her belongings from the floor. Before she left his dorm she faced him once more.

“Will you be okay on your own?” She asks. Draco nods and gives his signature eyebrow raise. She chuckles.

“If you need anything, I’ll be in my dorm. I don’t plan on going to class today.” As he watches her leave, he notices the warmth that spreads over his chest. He brushes it off before flopping on his bed and immersing himself into the world of the Memory Police. For once in his life, he manages to escape the burdens of his family name. He escapes the burdensome fear of being considered a let-down to his parents. He escapes the rabbit hole of expectations, worries, pressures--the need to be “perfect” Draco. He finds an escape from the reputation that he upholds through you. Furthermore, he finds himself desiring more of your company. Because of this, he moves from his bed, with his book in hand, and strides into the girls’ dormitories. He never got her room number, but when he sees an open door, he automatically assumes that it’s her inside. Without thinking, he barges at the sight of her stunned face. 

“Draco? What’s the matter?” The boy takes a good look at Y/N’s space. Her bed is made neatly and is stationed against the farmost wall in front of a large window. Her table is positioned at the end of her bed. There were a number of small bookcases that cover a majority of the perimeter of the room. It’s cozy.

He takes a moment to compose himself. “Is it alright if I can stay with you? Just a little longer?” The girl gives him a confused look, but agrees nevertheless. 

“Sure, close the door.” He does as she says, and looks around. Her dorm truly reflected her personality. Her words break him out of his daze.

“You can sit on the bed if you’d like.” As he gets himself situated, he observes her. Y/N was known for her hardworking nature, and mostly stayed away from socialization because of it. In that regard, she never really had much to say unless she was answering a question during lectures. She doesn’t say much once he’s situated. Instead, she quietly turns back to her desk to focus on her note taking, actively highlighting important bits of information from her books. Draco was amazed to say the least.

“Y/N, why is it that you study so much?” He asks. Her gaze remains rooted to her work as she finished writing up the last sentence before gazing up at him. She grins.

“I’m working hard, so I can earn enough to give my mother a better life.” She says simply.

“Is the life you have right now not enough?” He doesn’t mean to come off as ignorant or insensitive, but he asks out of pure curiosity. Y/N only rubs her chin to think of a proper response.

“Don’t get me wrong, we’re both happy. I just suppose it would be nice to know that she wouldn’t have to worry about her resources. Life was always uncertain before opening Avenoir. I remember how she would hide away to cry so I wouldn’t see her tears. I felt helpless and I couldn’t do anything about it. I hate being weak because of that.” Draco simply gawked at her. The availability of resources has never been an issue for him; it felt like a slap on the face seeing how hard Y/N worked for that level of accessibility.

“I feel like a lot of people have been gawking at me today. Stop it.” You chuckled as you scratched the back of your neck, recalling the reactions of his friend group as you held a conversation with them.

“You’re surely something else, Y/L/N. That’s all.” Y/N only smiled as she removed herself from her desk. She pulled a random book from one of her shelves and sat herself next to Draco. Together they get lost within their own worlds.

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There was a mutual feeling of friendship that emerged between you and Draco. However, the both of you never bothered to make it obvious in the presence of others. Actions so far were limited to discrete nods towards each other in the hallways. Nevertheless, you were content. You didn’t see him constantly, but you heard people talk about him and how he hasn’t been teasing or picking fights with students as much as he did in the week prior. It was a change you were surprised with, but one that you were pleased to hear about regardless. Besides that, you still kept yourself to your own tasks throughout the remainder of the week. It was a set cycle, which involved going to lecture and studying within the confines of your room. Although, you had to admit that you enjoyed the blonde’s presence, and secretly wished that you’d spend more time together.

The weekend arrived, which meant you’d resume your work at the bookshop. The day flew by fast. Customers came bustling in by the hour that you never had much time to talk to your mother while you were working. As you waited for demands to trickle in, you occupied yourself with another book, The Happy Prince by Oscar Wilde. It was a pleasant book about selflessness, however you found your mind drifting off often. When you weren’t reading, you kept your eyes peeled for the entrance, hoping that a certain boy would come in. However, no sign of the Malfoy heir showed as hours passed. Your hopes soon depleted. Giving up on the chances of him coming, you resumed your reading. 

It must’ve been about 20 minutes after 3 o’clock when your mother calls you from the counter. You heeded her request and made your way down the ladder. Behind her are large boxes filled with new books that were to be stored on the higher shelves. As you drag them to the base of the ladder, your back bumps into something hard. 

“I’m so sorry! Are you al-” As you turn to identify the person you collided with, your eyes widened at the sight of Draco. Your heart skips a beat as you scan his appearance. He sported a black turtleneck that fitted securely around his torso, which was paired with dark plaid pants, and black leather chelsea boots. Rings adorned his fingers, and his platinum locks are slightly disheveled from the wind. He looked delicious rather expensive. 

Draco was just as shocked when he realizes that it’s you he bumps into. You weren’t wearing anything fancy as he was--just a simple white shirt, straight jeans that ended just above your ankles, faded white sneakers, which was all adorned by the work apron that wrapped around your waist. Your hair was tied into a loose bun that settled at the nape of your neck with some stray strands framed around your face. It contrasted to your typical appearance at school. He preferred you in casual wear much more than in uniform, but he wasn’t going to admit that.

You straighten your posture, “Hey! What brings you here?” The boy in front of you rubs the back of his neck bashfully.

“I just wanted to spend time here. You offered on Monday.” His timidness made you smile. 

“You’re definitely welcome to stay-” You were interrupted by your mother’s gleeful shout.

“Draco! It’s so nice to see you! Please do make yourself comfortable. I assume Y/N delivered the book safely?” You rolled your eyes and let out a groan.

“Yes, mother. I did.” She only laughs in response. “I extended an offer to have him hang around if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all! Would you like some tea, dear?” The warm welcome fills the boy’s heart.

He gives a polite nod, “That would be lovely, thank you.” He looks to you with amusement plastering his facial features. 

“Would you like some help?” The smile that you give to him in response makes his heart flutter. 

“I’ll be okay. Like what mother said, please make yourself comfortable.” You reassured him, before urging him to follow you to the back of the shop. Past the counter is a corridor that leads to a small outdoor patio. Fairy lights are strung on the edges of the fence that borders the space, and a table for two is set near the entrance that goes back into the store. As the sun begins to set, the small set up becomes even more charming.

“It’s not much, but this is us.” Your arms spread as you step towards the center of the patio. Draco looks around and then back at you.

“It’s lovely.” He states with a happy grin stretched across his lips. The space doesn’t hold the same grandeur as his manor, but within the small and cozy confines, he feels safe and content.

“I’m glad to hear that. Take a seat! I still have work to do, but I’ll be clocking out soon. Stay as long as you’d like!” The joy in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed. It’s quite difficult to suppress the emotions after the anticipation that has built up throughout the day. With your spirits lifted, you return to work. The load of the boxes don’t seem as heavy as they used to.

Draco sits around in silence for a bit with his hands clasped together. The thought of being within your personal space makes his knees bounce up and down as he waits for his tea. Wanting to release his nerves, he explores the compound a bit more. He steps into the corridor, taking notice of the way it’s decorated. Pictures of you and your mother grace the walls. The sight urges him to look out in the front of the shop. He catches you piling books in your arms before making your way up the ladder. In doing so, he takes note of your focused face, the furrowing of your eyebrows, and the slight parting of your lips. Your eyes blazed in determination, sparking that particular warmth in his chest again. Draco tore his gaze from you and redirected it to the photos mounted on the wall. One that caught his interest was of you on your mothers back. Your small arms were wrapped tightly around her shoulders as your small face peered over her with a small toothy grin. He notices the light in your eyes. It had remained the same ever since. He stares at the photos for a couple of minutes.

“You found our pictures!” Your mother comes up from behind him, startling him slightly. She responds to his reaction with a hearty chuckle as she worms her way through the corridor, Draco following closely behind her. They sit across from each other, and the boy watches her as she sets a cup before him. She takes the tea pot and pours the liquid carefully.

“How do you like your tea, dear?” She asks.

“Slight cream, no sugar, Mrs. Y/L/N” Your mother looks at the boy. His shoulders are stiff and he’s tense all over. His hands look clammy. Basically, Draco looks nervous.

“I don’t bite. Don’t worry, love. Relax.” She gives the boy’s hand a reassuring squeeze. It was much similar to the feel of yours. He relaxes a little bit, adding cream to his drink.

“Y/N speaks very highly of you.” He states a matter-of-factly.

“Is that so?” A smile appears, “How’s my daughter at school?”

“She’s a really hard worker. Everyone knows her for her intelligence, but she is rather quiet. Much different than the way she acts here. She is so vibrant.”

Draco takes notice of the surprised look in your mother’s eyes, “Oh my dear, if I’m being truthful to you, it’s been so long since I’ve last seen her vibrant side shine through. She’s more demure in character. It’s not common for her to act that way.” Draco didn’t completely understand why, but hearing those words made his heart skip beats. He didn’t respond for a bit, allowing her words to sink in. Out of nowhere, Y/N calls out to her mother signalling the completion of her task. Her head pops from the door frame, and she glances at the tea briefly before shifting her view to the boy.

“Y/N! Why don’t you give Draco some company and have some tea? You can go to your room after!” You cough, but merely nodded in response. You seat yourself in the chair that was once occupied.

“How’s work?” Draco asks. He takes the kettle and pours you a cup.

“Busy as always, but it’s a pleasure to be here.” You thank him for the tea and proceed to adding your preferred amounts of cream and sugar.

“You look handsome today, by the way.” You took a sip of your tea so you wouldn't see his reaction. The boy only beamed.

“You look pretty too, if I’m being honest.” You chuckle as you set down your cup. 

“You’re telling me that when I’m dressed in a t-shirt and some ragged jeans?” You didn’t really know what kind of answer to expect. For the most part, you felt average in your get up. He, on the other hand, looked like a model.

“Yes I am. You are pretty.” You only smile at your feet and thank him. The boy was charming without the pompous get up. Ever since that Monday morning, you began to develop appreciation for this genuine side that he showed you. 

As time passed, your mother closed up the shop. Both you and Draco offered to help her, but she denied almost immediately. Instead, she insisted that you take the boy up, causing you to palm your face in embarrassment. However, you eventually agree and lead the way. Within the corridor were stairs that led to a second level. You and Draco climb them and turn to the first door on your right. Your room was slightly bigger than the one at school. It was furnished in a fashion that was similar to your dorm, but there were a lot more books--this time stacks of them could be seen littering the floor.

“Did you bring your book?” He nodded and fished it out from his back pocket. 

He briefly scans the room, “Did you read all of these?” You nod with an embarrassed smile.

“I bet you’d love the library in the manor.” Your eyes widened at the sound of it. A tinge of excitement sprouted from your gut as you begin to imagine its vastness.

“I don’t think you’re wrong. I bet it’s quite the sight!” Delight could be heard from your voice. Draco only tries to suppress a smile.

“Maybe one day.” He mutters to himself, hoping that you didn’t hear. However, when he looks up, he’s met with your wide smile. He blushes immediately and curses under his breath.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll pretend I didn’t.” You wink at him, and pull out your book. You flopped on your bed, patting the space next to you. When he situates himself by your side, you begin to pick up where you left off, already pushing the outside world aside. Draco sits with his legs crossed, and copies your actions. Silence fills the both of you as an hour passes. However, he’d take opportunities to sneak small glances at you once in a while. Your focus on the pages never shifted. If anything, the furrowing of your brows deepen as you turn with every page. With his curiosity getting the best of him, he leans closer to you to see what was so interesting. His actions don’t go by unnoticed, though. As soon as you felt his knee come into contact with yours, you realize how close he has gotten since you started reading.

“May I help you, Malfoy?” You ask, slightly amused.

“What’s your book about?” He asks. You tense your brows as you come up with an answer, not wanting to spoil anything.

“It’s about the friendship between a statue of a very selfless prince and a swallow. What about yours?”

“I’d never thought I would like fiction, but I do like this one. It’s about a girl who protects a person who can remember.”

“Remembers?”You ask with genuine curiosity. Draco nods, his eyes expressing the interest he has for the novel.

“Things on the island vanish, and the majority of the people have no recollection of it after it disappears. The people who show any signs of remembering get taken away.” Your interest for the plot increases 

“That sounds very interesting. Do you think we can trade when we finish?” 

“I think it sounds like a plan.” You stare into each other’s eyes for a moment before a snapping noise is heard. Suddenly your hair loosens, and you realize that the rubber band holding your hair together gave out. Draco looked at you with an eyebrow raised. As you reach to pull the remnants of the tie away, your hair frees itself. Some strands framed your face, while the rest flowed over your shoulders and covered the expanse of your back. You run your fingers through the front and they fall into curtain-like waves. Draco on the other hand is taken aback at your sudden change of appearance. Prior to getting to know who you were, nothing much was thought of you with the exception of your brains. Besides that, you were rather plain looking, always having your hair up in a braid or a ponytail. 

It was a seemingly natural reaction to let your hair simply flow. You really didn’t think much of it. But, when you met Draco’s surprised look, it was your turn to raise a brow at him. He really didn’t know what overtook him, or why these particular words fell out without thinking, but both hearts were racing and ears turned warm after he spoke out.

“Merlin, Y/N. You’re bloody gorgeous.” It caught him off guard. Your expression was the only thing that made him come to terms with the reality of it.

“I- You- You weren’t supposed to-”

“Thank you.” Draco’s jitters stopped in an instant when he saw the way you smiled up at him. Noticing the silence that settles in, you quickly think of something to break it.

“Should I wear it down at school? I’ve been thinking about it. It’s time for a ch-” You were startled by how quick his response was.

“No! Absolutely not!” He speaks frantically.

“-ange. Okay, then. Sheesh.” You both just laugh at his sudden outburst. Draco’s, however, was a nervous one. 

After a couple more minutes of reading, a savory aroma fills your senses, and your mother calls out to you both for dinner. The food was pleasant, but it was the actual state of togetherness that lit Draco’s heart. Although the warm feeling of you and your mother’s company was foreign to him, he was glad to have been able to experience it. The entirety of his stay lifts a huge weight off of his shoulders. Moreover, he begins to acknowledge the budding emotions that he feels for you. He felt each beat of his heart more profoundly within the small moments that you shared, with every glance that he took, and with every laugh that spilled from your lips. 

You stare up at the clock, taking note of the time. It was already 7:30 PM. Curfew was at 9:00 for fifth years. 

“Mother, I think it’s time that we get going. I’ll see you next week.” You notify her of your departure as you help clear out the table. 

“Oh, it’s that time of the day already? Very well then. I’m so glad you stopped by today, Draco. You’re welcome here anytime. Let me see the both of you out.” After you give her a hug, you make your way to the main room of the store. Draco thought you were going to exit, and was brought to confusion when you suddenly stopped in your tracks.

Draco clears his throat, “So, do you know how exactly we’ll get back?” It was already late and the boats that transported students to and from Hogsmeade were closed for the day. 

“Are you a fan of portkeys?” You ask. Draco’s eyes widened.

“Have you created an illegal one?” When you don't answer, he just laughs. You rummage through your bag, picking out a random book. When you open it, there’s a postcard with a picture of Hogsmeade on the front. 

“It’s a touch-activated one. It goes straight into my dorm.” You look up at him to see a devious-looking smirk plastered on his lips.

“You really are something else.” He whispers. You roll your eyes and shake your head.

“Let’s touch it on the count of three, okay? 1...2...3.” At the touch of the object, Draco felt his body get sucked into a bind, lights flashing, and your surroundings blacking out until it wasn’t. He kept his eyes shut the whole time. The entire instance occurred for a second. When you arrived at your destination, you felt fine, having gotten used to the uncomfortable sensation resulting from the mode of transportation. The boy who isn’t as experienced, however, didn’t find himself so lucky, and opted to lay down on your bed for a moment, closing his eyes to regain his strength. As you gave him time to rest, you took the opportunity to change into something more comfortable, taking advantage of the fact that he wouldn’t be aware of you doing so. 

When he opened his eyes, he was surrounded by the familiar confines of your dorm. They  roamed around until stopping at your changing figure. You had slipped on a jumper, which was paired with loose fitting sweats, the waistband wrapping securely on your hips. The only source of light was that of the moon as it radiated through your window and onto your bedroom floor. It casted a surreal glow upon your features, and Draco couldn’t help but stare.

“Would you like some water?  I know the experience could be unpleasant.” Your voice was soft and was followed by the sound of your melodic giggle.

“Y/N, you’re mental if you tell me you do that every week.” He says astoundedly. You nod with a grin and shrug your shoulders as you passed him a cup of water. He takes it gratefully and gulps it down as you sit on the edge of your bed. 

“You should probably get back to your dorm soon and take some rest. Do you need any help?”  He shakes his head, but is betrayed by his body as he stumbles out of your bed. With quick reflexes, you hold him steady, allowing him to regain his balance quickly. 

“Are you sure?” You ask doubtedly. He reassures you by straightening his posture and flashing a smile. You return it as you walk him to the door. He stands in the hallway, facing you as you lean against your door frame. You rushedly look left and right to ensure no one was looking before shifting your attention back to him.

“It was nice having you today. Mother was really happy you came by.” 

“How about you?” The boy catches your gaze once more. You only looked at him with a raised brow, queuing the need for clarification.

“How do you feel about my company?” What he asked caught you off guard, but you couldn’t deny the joy that you felt being around him. The comfort you felt from reading alone didn’t compare to the calm silence that situated you both when you did it together. It was the simple yet overwhelming feeling of contentment--the feeling of someone entering your heart silently, gently, and with a rush all at the same time. Pure bliss was what it was, but you couldn’t formulate the words when he asked you. The boy smirked at your lack of response. Instead, he bent over to meet your eye level and leaned in. You held your breath within your throat as he drew closer, ultimately shutting your eyes in anticipation for who knows what. Draco noticed the slight change in your body language and softened the look in his eyes. His orbs, which were once filled with amusement, were now filled with adoration. He looked at your expression, before reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You opened your eyes, meeting his gentle gaze.  Shocked, Draco backed away, shoving his hands into his pockets.

He stammered, “Y-You had something on your ear.” A flush had spread over his cheeks.

“Oh, is that so? Were you able to remove it?” You ran your fingers through your hair, oblivious of his frantic behavior. In your mind, you only wish it could’ve been more.

“Y-yea!” A nervous laugh leaves his lips. After he recollects himself for a few more seconds he says, “We should do this again sometime.” To which you happily agree.

You both bid each other ‘goodnight’. As you close the door, you lean your back against the wall, and slide down to the floor. You took note of the way your heart began to race when you recalled the events of today. The sound of his laughs, his subtle attempts to get close to you, his expression of interest towards the things that you treasured. Your image of Draco had begun to transform right under your nose.

Little did you know that as the boy walked back to his dorm room that night, the same thoughts ran through his mind. Although he was tired, he would constantly think about the way you looked when you were working, or when you were reading, or how your hair came undone. Moreover, he felt safe within your hospitality--it wasn’t forceful or intrusive, it just flowed naturally. This small escape made a huge improvement from the broken state you found him in that Monday prior. That night, as he laid in bed, he read his book peacefully until sleep took over his consciousness, filling his rest with dreams of reading with you by his side.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It was a brisk Sunday morning when you found yourself at the Great Hall for breakfast. You were always one of the earlier students who came right when the doors opened. By the time you got yourself situated, only a few students trickled their way into the massive room. 

Your hand took hold of your book as the other filled your mouth with food. Your concentration blazed as you immersed yourself into the world of the Oscar Wilde that you didn’t realize how filled the hall became once you put your book down. The reason for you doing so stemmed from the sound of a presence that sat before you. You never had company when you ate, so when you looked up you were surprised to see Draco settling in the seat in front of you. Murmurs from other students could be heard at the peculiar sight.

“This seat isn’t taken I presume?” He asks. The typical Malfoy smirk graces his lips as he lowers himself down.

“Not at all.” You respond simply. You look around with a weirded expression. People had their eyes on the two of you. One in particular caught your attention. It was Astoria Greengrass, also dubbed as the Slytherin princess. She had an annoyed look on her face, but you brushed it off, turning back to the boy in front of you.

“Aren’t your friends waiting for you?” You nodded towards the familiar group of people.

“I can’t read around them. They’re too loud.” Once the statement leaves his lips, he pulls out The Memory Police and finds himself in the same stature you were in previously. You smile inwardly before taking a few bites of your food. It’s silent and you can still feel the lingering stares around you. They begin to get annoying after a while.

“Leave them be. They can stare all they want, but I’m not moving anywhere.” He says as though he read your mind. He glances at you from the top of his book, but his tone remains unfazed.  

“How’d you know?” You inquire.

“You have ‘uncomfy’ written all over your face, Y/N.” He keeps his gaze stuck to his book while stuffing a piece of scrambled egg into his mouth. You narrow your eyes at him before slowly opening your own again.

“What are you planning to do today?” He asks suddenly. You look up to see that his eyes never left the page. Your look at your own, except you’re not reading this time.

“Probably read at the lake, go to my dorm and read some more.” 

“Do you do anything else besides read?” 

“I study.” You could feel his eyes roll.

“Besides that.” You lower your hands seeing that you aren’t getting anywhere with the plot. 

“What else is there to do on Sundays?” You laugh, “Well what do you plan on doing today?” 

Your conversation gets interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. There stands Astoria Greengrass, arms crossed with an envious expression on her face. She looks at you then to Draco.

“Hey Dray. I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out with me at Hogsmeade today?” She asks with a sickly flirtatious tone. She squeezes his shoulder while you just roll your eyes and look away to mentally gag.

“You must be blind to notice. I’m preoccupied if you can’t tell.” The sound of his tone is cold, much akin to the one he uses when he’s bullying someone. However, a smirk sneaks up to your lips as you keep your gaze lowered. The girl only scoffs before turning to you.

“Cute little book you got there Y/L/N. You always have your nose buried in one, don’t you? What’s that one about this time?” You take note of her condescending voice, which slightly pulls on your nerves.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Greengrass? Sorry love, I’m too preoccupied to explain.” You wiggle your book at her before getting up. You throw the boy your version of his eyebrow raise before turning to leave.

“I’ll see you around ‘Dray’.” You say, imitating Astoria’s tone. You looked at her from head to toe and scoffed as you walked out of the hall. You couldn’t be bothered to deal with the likes of her. For the most part, giving her any piece of your energy was not worth it. You find yourself walking down the corridor before hearing the sound of someone running to you. You stop in your tracks and turn around to see the familiar platinum-haired boy.

“You need some company at the lake?” He asks. Your face, which was once filled with annoyance, releases its tension, and transforms into a gentle smile.

“I don’t need it, but you’re free to come along if you’d like to.” You turn your back quickly before getting a response out of him. He follows you.

Throughout the walk, Draco notices that your hair is up in a braid again, smiling as he reminisces the sequence of events that occurred the night prior. Could you have kept it up because he said so? Such thoughts filled his mind with interest. The events that happened in the hall also made him wonder. He had never seen you agitated before.

“I never thought you’d respond like that.” He says to start up conversation.

“To Astoria?” He nods.

“Not worth my time or energy. I may be quiet, but I’m not a pushover...Dray.” You tease him with the nickname, although he doesn’t mind it when it comes from you.

“It sounds better when you say it.” He says, making you shake your head in response.

“I was about to choke myself. Merlin, did you hear the way she said it? It’s enough to make your ears bleed. Bloody hell.” The way you release your frustration gives the both of you something to laugh about. That familiar feeling of comfort overcoming you both once again.

“Do you think she’s going to approach me again?” You ask.

“Knowing her, she might.”

“Merlin, avada me now.” Draco only laughs louder at the sound of your displeasure. By the time you reach the lake, the sun is seen casting its rays upon the water. Clouds are still in the sky, but the overall scene is bright and beautiful, assuring that it was going to be a good day.

You sit on a patch of grass that meets the sand, while Draco assumes the seat beside you. Before you could even begin to read, the boy takes the opportunity to ask you another question.

“How far are you from finishing your book?”

“I’m almost done. Give me a few minutes and I should be finished.” His eyes widened slightly

“Fast reader aren’t you?”

“No, well, maybe. There are more stories in this book. The Happy Prince so happens to be one of them.” He nods, allowing that particular conversation to end. He lays down on the grass, ready to read in the process, but is caught staring at the expanse of your neck. Your braid reaches the middle of your back, swaying in the wind. When he takes sight of the band that holds it together, he reaches out, hoping that you won’t notice, and pulls it off. He swiftly drops it to make it seem like he hasn’t done anything, so by the time you turn around to identify the cause of the loosened sensation, he already has the book propped on top of his legs, gazing at the lines with much concentration. 

“Did you see anything?” You ask with a raised brow. He simply nods, trying to hide the smirk on his face. It doesn’t go unnoticed by you though.

“Draco. Was it you?” When he doesn’t respond, you laugh.

“You’re such a git.” Your fingertips trace the sand to locate the rubber band, but the boy stops you before going any further. He wraps his hand around your wrist, while catching your gaze.

“It looks better down.” He says firmly.

“But you said-”

“I don’t want you letting it loose for others to see. In front of me is fine.” He holds your gaze for what seemed to eternity before slowly loosening his grip on your hand.

He then proceeds to ask, “Can I touch it? Your hair?” You smile and nod at him. He takes the opportunity to scoot closer behind you. After he situates himself at a comfortable distance, he reaches out to your loosened braid, and gently runs his fingers through it, breaking it up entirely. Your strands are soft in his touch, and the light from the sun only emphasizes how shiny it is. You pay no mind to the boy’s doing. Instead, you continue reading while he plays with your hair. 

After 15, perhaps 20 minutes of reading, you finally finish your book. It is then that you notice that he’s still stroking your locks. Slightly amused, you look up from your book and decide to tease him for a bit.

“Are you having fun back there?” Your question is accompanied with a giggle.

“Most fun I’ve had in years.” Sarcasm laced through his voice. “Can you teach me how to braid?” Your head turns back, but you’re only faced with a serious expression.

“What’s the sudden interest?” As you ask your question, the breeze picks up, eliciting a shiver out of you. It takes a second for Draco to notice how thin your clothes were.

“Why don’t we go inside? It’s warmer and you can teach me how to braid your hair.”

“You’re so insistent, aren’t you?” 

“Not insistent, just ambitious.” You rolled your eyes as he lifted you from the ground.

You both make your way to the dungeons, taking the familiar route that leads to his room. You don’t protest the destination as much, only being grateful that it was warmer than the harsh change in climate outside of these walls. You can’t help but recall how much has drastically changed since the week prior, but it warmed your heart knowing that there was more to Draco than what meets the eye.

As you enter the dorm, you take notice of all the luxurious details that embellish everything from his furniture to the style of his clothes. It was much more put together since the last time you found yourself there. The crisp scent of apples filled your nose, allowing yourself to ooze into the comfort of the environment. You show no hesitance to flop on his bed, seeing as he has done so to yours a number of times already. While doing so, he discards his robes and hangs it over a coat rack. The sight of you brings out a small smile from him as he claims the seat next to you. 

“Now, where were we?” He asks. You proceed to sectioning your hair into two parts. You hand him one, which he takes gently all while focusing his concentration on the demonstration you show.

“Okay, so we start off with three sections…” He does as you say.

“Now I take this, and flip it over this section.” He repeats. Only the sounds of his breaths can be heard.

“Now you do it to the other side, and repeat the pattern.” As you demonstrate with your strands, a shocked expression fills his face as he tries to repeat your actions. He gets it eventually, although his braid is much messier and unkept in comparison to yours, which is tight and neat. A familiar scowl appears on his face, but you try to keep your laughter in. In all fairness, he really was trying.

“Here. Take all of it. Try braiding my hair.” You run your fingers, deleting both your work and his, and turn so that your back is facing him. You keep your sights set towards the window, as he begins to work his way through your hair. He starts off by combing his fingers through your locks, which felt annoyingly good. He then proceeds to repeat everything that he has learned within the last five minutes. Him doing so only proved how quick of a learner he was. Silence filled you both, and as time drifted on, you ended up dozing off into sleep. It is only when Draco finishes that he notices you. He tugs at his final product slightly to see the expression on your face, but in doing so, you fall onto his chest as soft snores find their way out of your lips. 

“And she calls me a git. Look at her sleeping while I handle her hair.” His eyes soften at the gentleness of your own expression before he scans the way your arms have wrapped themselves across your waist. Ensuring that you were sound asleep, he carefully reaches for your hand, forcing it to open as he slightly interlaces his fingers with yours. He takes a moment to comprehend the situation, his face warming up when he realizes that your back is slouched against his chest, your head resting on his shoulder, and one of his hands clasped delicately into yours. 

It’s when his eyes land on your resting face once more that he recalls all that you are, all that you have shown him. He then envisions the long-term, imagining all he has yet to discover about you. The care that you’ve shown him by far is more than what anyone has done throughout his life. He revisits the week before when you mentioned reading as a way to escape. Now that as he has you lying against him, he thinks of the possibility that his real escape is actually you. His mind finds pleasure in that thought, and it only makes his heart race when he thinks about what could possibly happen between you two tomorrow, or the day after that, a week, month, year. What answer would he receive by then? He isn’t even sure if you’d say ‘yes’ to an offer in a relationship, especially knowing how focused you are with your school work. Ridding the thoughts for another time, Draco slowly lays his back down against the mattress, bringing you carefully along with him. Your legs become entangled with his. His hand never leaves yours. 

Ensuring that you were certainly asleep, he whispers softly to the air, “I think I like you, Y/N.” He wraps his other arm around you before falling into a peaceful slumber.

A/N: I don’t think this is the end, but that’s not the point! I hope you enjoyed it :) Any feedback is very much appreciated hehe.

[let-them-read-fics]

Die For You

Requested by Anon: “hi :) can I request Jennie scenario based on The Weeknd’s song ‘Die For You’? I also wanted to say I really love your works, they’re really good”

Pairing: Jennie x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3,705

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Fluff, Near-Death Experience, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Thank you anon! My schedule is getting busy again, so writings may take a bit longer to get posted; I apologize for the delay with this one, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Let me know what you guys think!

PS ~ This is my first time writing a song request, so I kind of just went with it lol. It’s a little messy, but I think it has charm. Happy reading!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Jennie Kim has a magnetic pull to her -- one that is relentless and unwavering once it takes control of you. It’s hypnotic in every way; sweet torture in its truest form; and you’re always left to pick up the pieces.

The arrangement that you share with Jennie has been clear from the get-go: friends with benefits, no strings attached. Neither of you have time for anything serious, and this seemed like a win-win: always having someone to come home to when you happened to be in the same area at the same time? Hell yeah. 

You hate that you want me

Hate it when you cry

You're scared to be lonely

'Specially in the night

Gradually, though, things got messy -- lines became blurred as feelings mixed into the equation. You did everything in your power to make them go away, reminding yourself time and time again of the agreement you had. But in moments like these, as you lay in bed with Jennie, her head resting on your chest as your hand runs through her hair, you can’t help how your heart swells. Pale moonlight traces patterns on the floor, wiggling its way into the room to offer a soft glow and ambiance. In here, you’re untouchable: no cameras or prying eyes; it’s just you and Jennie, free to be yourselves. Given this fact, you’ve grown to have a love-hate relationship with these four walls; they’re your haven -- your refuge -- but they serve as a brutal reminder of just how limited your relationship with Jennie is.

Nothing is certain: weeks turn into months -- especially when she’s on tour or otherwise occupied with her busy schedule -- and you’re left to your own devices, waiting on her return. Each day without her brings you closer to believing that you’re strong enough to move onto something better -- something more consistent; but then there she is, knocking on your door again, completely pushing that absurd idea from your mind. One smile from her is enough to reel you back in, and it only makes you feel more conflicted. 

Jennie stirs in her sleep, nuzzling her face closer into you as she brings a hand up to rest against your collarbone. Her body twitches lightly, lips pursing and pouting against your neck, and you wonder what she’s dreaming about. She doesn’t seem to be distressed in any way, so you take the opportunity to get a good look at her. Within the next couple hours the alarm would be blaring that sound that you despise more than anything else in this world, signalling for her to get ready and head off to the airport to leave you all over again. Despite the circumstances, you're comforted by the fact that she always makes sure to set it for the very last second, barely giving herself enough time to catch her flight -- she wants to spend every moment possible with you, and she makes it a point to do just that. Tearful goodbyes in the back of your car would be too involved for your “relationship”, so you always try to seem unaffected (or, at least, as close to that as you can manage). You save your tears for when you arrive back home, where you spend the evening coming to terms with her absence. She would never tell you, of course, but her flights are known to bear witness to plenty of sadness for her as well; with each new mile added to the distance between the two of you, her heart breaks a little more.

~~~~~~~

It’s been 4 months since you last saw Jennie. The time apart had offered you a new perspective, something in the long nights without her affirming what you already knew to be true -- you weren’t capable of continuing on like this much longer. Nothing about your situation was ever simple; the instant you began catching feelings, it all became muddled. The one rule set -- the only principle you were tasked with following -- had been broken, and there was nothing you could do to repair it. 

A knock at your door echoes out across the empty apartment, and you quickly put down the food that you had been preparing. With a swift adjustment of the dial, you set the burner to simmer and make your way to the door. None of your friends had mentioned that they were coming by, so you’re genuinely clueless as to who it could be. 

“Jennie?” Surprise is inadequate in describing the feeling that courses through you upon meeting that familiar gaze. The metal of the knob is cool in your hand as you grip it, knuckles turning white while your emotions run wild. She had failed to let you know that she was coming back to town, neglecting even to text you recently.  

“Miss me?” How are you to answer that? Part of you wants to blurt out your thoughts, effectively ripping the metaphorical band aid right off, but another part of you wants to deny her: the past few months had allowed your feelings to become somewhat dormant as you attempted to see a future beyond this arrangement, one void of her presence. It’s completely normal to feel like that, you tell yourself. It’s strange, but as in love with her as you are, you’re almost as equally indifferent about it all. How many more times could you watch her walk away, only to string you along until she came waltzing right back in? 

The more important question of the matter is apparent: how would you even begin to tell her what you’re feeling? In the past, you’ve tried to make her aware of what you’re going through, only to be met by a change of topic. She always stayed reserved, opting to spend your time together talking about anything other than that.

Deciding that you were taking far too long to respond to her, she steps into the room, closing the door behind her. The time away from you had affected her more than she’s willing to admit, and she’s more than ready to embrace you. Her arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling your body flush up against hers, and she sighs at the feeling. “I’ve missed holding you, Y/N.” The sweet nothing does it’s job, making your heart flutter as the words register in your mind. You’re still tense, though, and she doesn’t fail to notice; before long, soft kisses are being trailed across your face -- her attempt at relaxing you. Sometimes you wonder if she knows your body better than you do: it responds to her, just like she knew it would, and you loosen up. 

After what feels like minutes of just standing there, bodies intertwined, her hands make their way to your hips. She leans forward and ghosts her lips over yours, her gloss smudging a bit in the process. A battle is being fought in your mind: should you allow yourself this indulgence? Or is this the time to be strong and finally put your foot down? The choice is made up for you by the way that she slowly backs you up against the wall, along with how her mouth brushes against yours as her warm hands steady you. Before you can stop yourself, you close the distance. 

Her lips move against yours in perfect time, a delicious rhythm being set in the process. It brings to mind the notion that maybe -- just maybe -- the two of you are meant to be. After all, you fit together like a puzzle, being complete in the presence of one another. 

As her fingers play at the band of your shorts, hands roaming further with each needy kiss she presses to your lips, you debate with yourself. Her actions tempt you to cave in and give yourself up to her, but you decide that you can’t go down that road again. At least not until everything gets sorted. Quickly -- as to not give her anymore time to change your mind -- you step back and run a hand through your hair. Hers is messy, lips red and pupils blown wide. She reaches out for you again, but you simply hold your hand up in response.

“I can’t, Jennie.” The words come out as a reluctant declaration, your tone sounding tired.

Her brows furrow, but you continue.

“I can’t keep doing this.” 

“Elaborate.” Her demand is clear, but you miss the effort that it took for her to come off that way. At your words, panic began to course through her; she can’t lose you. 

“Whatever this is,” you say, motioning between the two of you. “I can’t be someone who waits around for you all the time, just keeping your bed warm.” She wants to laugh at that one; it’s almost comical how far you are from the truth. Jennie knows she’s good at hiding her feelings, but she’s shocked that she managed to make you believe something that ridiculous about yourself. You mean the world to her -- she’s just too afraid to admit it.

“Y/N--”

“No, don’t even try to change the subject; I’m sick of it. Please, just listen to me for once.”

A subtle nod from her serves as your cue to continue.

“I never meant for things to get like this, Jennie, believe me. But I can’t pretend anymore: I like you, a lot. And after having you in the ways that I’ve had you…” you pause, allowing your eyes to trail up and down her body as you clench your jaw, “I can’t bear the thought of someone taking my place when I’m not around. Do you know how hard that is to deal with?”

Happens every time

I'm scared that I'll miss you

I don't want this feelin'

I can't afford love

She seems stunned, to say the least; she blinks a few times before gathering her thoughts and speaking up. “You’re all I think about, no matter what I’m doing.” For a second, you’re hopeful: your heart beats a little faster at her confession, and you finally believe you’re getting somewhere with her. Sadly, she continues: “But I can’t afford that. I don’t have time for a commitment like that, and we have something good right now. I’ve seen plenty of relationships go bad and end in heartbreak; why should we risk it?”

“Aren’t you tired of it? Sometimes I really start to think that you like me back, but then you’re as guarded as ever, pushing me away again. I never know where I stand with you. So unless you tell me how you honestly feel, you’ll have to take me off your list of fuck buddies.”

Your language catches her off guard, seeing as how it’s unexpected and unlike you. How are you so oblivious? You’re so much more than that to her.

“Fine, Y/N! I’m in deeper than I care to admit. I’ve tried to run from it, but I can’t. You’re the one person I can’t seem to forget, and I can’t stand you because of that. And yeah..” she pauses, a bit exasperated, and takes a deep breath before continuing. “I won’t deny that I’ve been with other people when I’m away.” You close your eyes at her admission, that familiar sadness beginning to seep in -- it wasn’t anything you didn’t already know, but that doesn’t make its confirmation any easier to hear. 

“They’re not you, though. They don’t know me like you do… they’re not fun like you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone, and I don’t want to. It terrifies me.”

“That’s kinda part of the deal, Jennie -- it’s a scary thing. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but I’m willing to try with you. What we have right now is wearing me down, and I don’t deserve it; so either listen to your heart and be with me, or you won’t be seeing me again.”

Following your ultimatum, she doesn’t dare speak. Her brows are slightly furrowed again, jaw set, and she’s looking at the ground. Out of habit, your arms cross against your chest -- being vulnerable is never something you particularly enjoy (especially with so much on the line) but you’re sick of beating around the bush with her. One of the first lessons you ever learned from Jennie is that she avoids her feelings at all costs; so, standing there, you wonder what it would take to make her finally open up. Would your absence be enough? Maybe you were foolish for thinking so.

With every second that passes, silence remaining unbroken by the words that you so desperately want to hear from her, your heart sinks more and more. Every insecurity you have is swirling in your mind, further clouding it. Her lack of a response confirms your fears, and you nod quickly, knowing what you have to do. 

“Okay, I get it. I’m gonna take a walk, but you can stay here and take a shower since you just got in. When I come back, though, I want you gone.”

She doesn’t even raise her head to look at you. Inside, her heart is breaking; every fiber of her being is begging to say something -- anything -- but she stays quiet. It’s hard enough for her to keep her feelings for you in check with the arrangement you have now; if you become official, she won’t know what to do with herself. She’s falling hard, but she’s fighting it all the while -- her lifestyle doesn’t have room for love. You deserve someone who can be with you whenever you want them, not someone who’s always a world away. Calls and texts only go so far, and she knows it wouldn’t be enough for either of you. She’s spent your latest stint apart attempting to come to terms with the idea of life without you; it’s the last thing she wants, but she needs you to move on and find someone better. For you, she’s willing to hurt, so long as it means you’re happy. 

After a beat, she accepts your words, confirming that she heard you by giving a simple nod. Any remaining hope you were clinging to fades away completely, and you’re left feeling empty. Now at the coat rack, you pull your jacket over your shoulders and slip your shoes on. “There’s food on the stove, by the way. Don’t let it burn.” You say over your shoulder, too sad to look at her again. Maybe that’s some sort of symbolism: the wonderful thing you had spent so long creating was fizzling out right in front of you, Jennie being the one who could fix it all. She can step up and repair things, but that doesn’t seem very likely to happen. Tears are brimming in your eyes, and her heart breaks at the sound of your sniffles. 

Even though we're going through it

And it makes you feel alone

With a thud, the apartment door closes, and Jennie finally breaks down. It all hits her in an instant, and soon she’s sliding down to the floor, her tears mimicking her actions as they fall onto her cheeks. Why did this have to be so hard? Seeing the pain etched so plainly into your features was definitely the hardest part to all of this; she’s being cruel to be kind… if only you knew that. 

I try to find reason to pull us apart

It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect

And I know that you're worth it

I can't walk away, oh!

As soon as Jennie had realized her feelings all that time ago, she racked her brain for any and every logical reason to end things. She would pick fights over small things, praying to every higher power that you’d get tired of the stupidity and give up on her. So many other people had in the past, so why wouldn’t you? Knowing that you’re different from all the rest -- perfect for her in every way imaginable -- only scares her more. You lit a fire in her heart the day you met, and it’s only grown stronger ever since. 

~~~~~~~

20 Minutes Later

You have no real destination in mind; you’re content with just allowing your feet to take you wherever they wish to go.

Chatter from across the city makes its way to your ears, oddly offering a sense of comfort in your time of need. The night sky is full of stars, and the city bustles with life and activity. As you pass different businesses and shops, their iridescent lights shine just for you. Distant cars honk as they traverse the streets, and your mind begins to think of all of the different things those people might be doing right now. Surely some are having a great day, maybe on their way home, eager to be greeted by their loved ones. Others might be hurting just like you.

And you won't find no one that's better

'Cause I'm right for you, babe

I think I'm right for you, babe

Jennie fails to realize that all you want is her; you’re not naive -- you know how crazy her schedule is, but you’re more than willing to make sacrifices if it means she’ll be yours. No one makes you feel the way she does, and the thought of spending your life searching for something that can never compare scares you. 

A slight breeze rolls in, ghosting over your skin, and you’re reminded of all the times she would pull you in close to keep you warm. Her sweet perfume would fill your nose as you snuggled into her embrace, sharing the heat that her coat offered. Getting over her would definitely be a bitch.

It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold

But tonight I'm gon' let you know

Let me tell the truth

Baby, let me tell the truth, yeah

The peace -- if you can call it that -- is broken by a shout. “Y/N, wait!” Confused, you spin around on your heel towards the voice. It’s Jennie; she’s sprinting to you, her brown locks bouncing and flowing in the wind with every step. Conflicted, yet again, your feet appear to be rooted in their spot. What does she want now? It seems that every time you get your hopes up, she’s always letting you down. With this in mind, you slowly turn back around and continue your walk. Eventually she’ll catch up to you, but you need the extra time to gather your now-jumbled thoughts. 

Just know that I would die for you

Baby I would die for you, yeah

It all happened in a blur. As you began crossing the street to put more distance between Jennie and yourself, the high pitched sound of tires squealing against the pavement rang out. The car came out of nowhere, barrelling straight towards you with no signs of stopping; they had run a red light. Your eyes locked with the driver’s, both of you donning an equally terrified expression, and you had no time to react. Just as the bumper was about to come into contact with your body, you were instead forcefully shoved out of the way. Another person -- your savior -- comes tumbling with you just in the nick of time, and the driver swerves around you.  

“Are you okay?!” It’s Jennie; her voice is ripe with worry, her thoughts focused solely on your wellbeing. She doesn’t even notice the cut that she received from the fall. You bring your hand up to her forehead to assess the wound.

“Y-yeah, I’m good. But you,” you say, touching her injury and eliciting a pained hiss from her in the process, “...are not.” The two of you are breathing hard as adrenaline courses through your systems; once it has died down a bit, you stand up and check each other for any more sore spots.

“Thank you, Jennie. I don’t know how to repay you for something like that.” 

“I’d do it again a million times, Y/N. I’m sorry for putting you through all of this. I came to tell you that I love you, and that I’m done running. Seeing you leave really put things into perspective for me.”

“Am I supposed to believe that, or will you change your mind again?” The words are harsh, your voice laced with the bitterness that you still hold onto. You can’t find it in yourself to cushion the blow much; you’re still hurt by what’s happened in the past, and rightfully so. Beyond that, though, you’re trying to be cautious; after hearing her confess like that, you know there’s no going back. 

“Okay, I deserve that one. But I mean what I said. You’re the best thing in my life -- the best I’ve ever had -- and I just want you to be happy. I’ve always been afraid that I can’t give you that if I’m so far away all the time.” 

“Oh, baby,” you start, cupping her cheek and running your thumb across it soothingly. She leans into your touch, and your expression softens. “All I’ve ever wanted is you. You’re everything to me, you know that? We can do this together, so long as you’re willing to try.” 

“I am.” She utters before pulling you in, sealing your new agreement with a kiss. Her lips move against yours gently, taking their time as they attempt to make up for her previous behavior. It’s soft yet urgent, a million different things passing between you without words. 

Suddenly, you pull back, and Jennie panics for a second. 

“Did you turn the burner off?”

“Oh shit!” She exclaims, a look of pure fear gracing her features. 

Just as that cold, prickly feeling of dread begins to spread throughout your body, she grins. 

“Yes, I did.” 

You roll your eyes and huff loudly at her, delivering a rough shove to her shoulder. 

“Don’t do that to me!” 

She responds by pulling you in again, kissing away your frown. “I love you, too, if you didn’t catch that earlier.” You declare, feeling her lips turn up in that beautifully iconic smile of hers. She hums at that, pulling you in closer just as the chilly wind blows again. Huh, maybe the universe had been listening all along.