#so i shouldnt let it consume my day .

[gayemoji]

mmm recurring nightmare of a genocidal maniac who collects people from the (other recurring nightmare) open plan mall and stuffs them in a pot in the boiler room . . . how you have harrowed me this day

[raveneira]

Its kinda funny how ppl used the recent chapter to say it proves Sarada saved Boruto there and that we all made fun of her for nothing, when KK literally says in that timeline he saw she and Boruto BOTH were killed by Kawaki, so how does that prove her intervention saved him? KK literally says she tried to help him AND DIED

These are the same ppl who will tell you you lack reading comprehension, yet look at a panel where KK clearly says Sarada DIES when she tried to intervene and say 'See!? this proves she saved Boruto! we told you so!'

Like...how dumb can you be fr? this timeline proves what everyone was already saying, that she DID NOT SAVE HIM, infact, it was actually everyone that showed up AFTER she was about to be killed that saved him and changed his fate here, this vision literally proves that Sarada didn't do shit to change his fate, all she did was be killed right alongside Boruto if her dad and the others didn't arrive when they did.

But I shouldnt be surprised, till this day ppl still give Hinata praise for Minato's fail safe he placed a whole 15 years in advance, ppl still claim Hinata is the one who saved Naruto when it was infact Minato that did, because had Minato not have had that backup plan for this EXACT situation then Naruto would've let himself be consumed and died, taking who knows how many ppl with him.

Now their doing the same thing with Sarada, claiming her intervention is what saved Boruto's life, when it was actually everyone else arriving when they did that changed that fate, Sarada did absolutely nothing in that situation but make it go from bad to worse

But to be fair I'll be a little generous to Hinata tho, because she actually did at least TRY to do something to protect Naruto, she didn't just go there just to be in the way, she TRIED to fight Pain, she was just outmatched, she knew that and still tried to take him on and fight him back even if only for a few seconds

Sarada did nothing but bluff, for ppl who talk about 'love' makes one act irrational and thats why her running there to help Boruto is proof that her feelings for Boruto are more genuine than Sumire's who stayed behind but they conveniently forget the other part of that

Love doesnt just make you irrational, it gives you courage and strength, the desire to protect someone precious to you is when you become truly strong, remember that? because we saw it with Hinata, Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, know who we ain't see it with? Sarada, because she went there blew one fireball and then froze up TWICE when Boruto was about to die, which adds up with KK saying she was going to die there, not very hard to believe when she just stood there both times he tried to take their lives so yea, I can definitely see how that future came about.

So my point? love doesnt just make you irrational like these ppl try to simplify, its true it does make you irrational, but it also makes you brave, it makes you strong, it gives you the strength to act even in the most hopeless situation where you know there's no chance of success but you do it anyway, you TRY, succeed or fail you TRY and die trying if thats what it comes to, but the one thing you DONT do? is just stand there WAITING to die, thats the OPPOSITE of what love does.

Oh and I know the excuse 'well she was scared, this was intentional, its part of her development to realize shes weak and wanna get stronger' great argument, except that was already established in 69

We already established her recognizing her weakness, her frustration at it, her wanting to get stronger so that next time she WILL be there to protect Boruto, you'd think this would be set up for a big payoff in 78 where Boruto is in trouble again and this time Sarada's able to save him right? now we're gonna see her resolve right? this convo in 69 was setup for a big pay off here right? apparently fkin not cuz this is what we got

Ok lets be generous, it was the heat of the moment, she choked, but now shit just got real, Boruto's whole eye is sliced, she sees Kawaki is serious now, she saw Boruto get hurt because of her weakness when it came time to step up, she failed to protect Boruto AGAIN when he needed her

Now surely we'll get the payoff right? if she doesn't act now then she and Boruto will DIE, Boruto has already been badly hurt because of her weakness, surely NOW is where her resolve kicks in and she protects him for real right? nope

You really dont get goofier than this, Naruto and Sasuke had their coward moments too don't get me wrong, but the difference is THEY GOT OVER IT, they REFLECTED on their weakness and cowardice and resolved to be stronger in the future, but think about it, Sarada already reflected and resolved to be stronger and prepared in the future, so why when even the danm narrative itself set this moment up to be where Sarada shows her resolve to not be weak and protect Boruto like she wants to, why do we only see her freeze, waver, and crumble when she has the chance to act?

Because this isnt just a 78 isolated case, she does it in 79 and 80 as well

Hate to say it but its the truth, the girl lacks resolve, she talks big but when its time to back it up she folds like paper

She failed to be there for Boruto when Kawaki killed him because she didn't even know he was in danger, she was mad at herself and resolved to get stronger so that next time Boruto's in danger she'll be there to protect him

What does she do with every chance she has to do that?

She froze and cost Boruto his eye

She froze and almost let them both die

She stands there shakin Mitsuki yellin at him to listen to her instead of protecting Boruto

She falls to her knees crying after hearing Naruto was killed and completely ignores Mitsuki saying he's going to kill Boruto and going off to do just that

But surely after all of those fumbles she'll pick herself up and finally resolve to stop being weak and be there for her friend right? unfortunately not, instead we get this

Flat out confirmation that she wasnt so in shock that she didn't hear what Mitsuki said, she heard him clearly say he was going to kill Boruto and she just let him go off to do that, if Sasuke never showed up Sarada would still be sitting there crying while Boruto is being slaughtered by Mitsuki or whoever else found him.

While shes there whining and crying to her dad, Boruto is fending for himself against team 10, it doesn't matter that she managed to convince her dad to go save him, why wasn't SHE there trying to save him herself? WHY did it take Sasuke showing up for her to even move? WHY did it take Sumire telling her 'hey we're the only ones who can help Boruto right now' for Sarada to finally do something? which she didn't, she begged her DAD to do something while she stayed behind continuing to do nothing.

This is the exact same crap ppl give Sakura shit for with Naruto's promise, even tho he made the promise of his own volition, ppl dragged Sakura for putting the burden of bringing Sasuke back on Naruto instead of takin action herself.

Which leads me back to what I said about self reflection...so do you think after all of this Sarada reflected on her weakness and made moves to make sure she was never this weak and powerless again? to make sure this time she can protect Boruto with her own strength and not have to rely on her dad to resolve everything? feel even a tad bit of remorse for placing that type of burden on her dad? putting him in harms way just to protect her friend because SHES too weak to? surely she's gonna have her own version of this right?

Surely we were gonna see Sarada finally reflect and address her weakness and work to change it NOW right? after all of that? surely NOW right? nope

Know what she does? yap, and Im not even kidding, thats literally what she does.

And yaps

Freezes

Yaps some more

Hugs

Yaps about hug in her head

Still not doin nothin to stop Mitsuki

Zero reflection, zero remorse, zero accountability, and zero effort to do anything different than she was before

But yall wanna claim she saved him and everybody was wrong this whole time lol she not only didn't save him, she has consistently gone out of her way NOT to save him at any point afterwards besides sending her dad to fight her battle for her.

Sakura had an excuse, she had an obligation to not fight on the frontlines as a medical ninja, Sarada has no such obligation preventing her from taking action at any point I mentioned, she chooses to stand back, chooses to be helpless, and chooses not to protect him when shes more than able to.

And no, Im not sayin she should flat out fight Mitsuki, but why the hell is her only effort just yelling 'Mitsuki! listen to me!' over and over? why not get in front of Boruto? why not punch the ground between them to split em up? hell why not even grab Mitsuki and hold him back? you don't have to outright fight somebody to still protect, nobody is saying she should haul off and start brawling with Mitsuki, but don't just stand there yellin 'listen to me!' when you know danm well he ain't gon listen and is attacking your friend right in front of you

So yea trying to use that panel to say she saved Boruto there is laughable because it literally proves the opposite, in that timeline nobody else arrived to help them, so it was up to Sarada herself to protect Boruto and she failed, I dunno how anybody took this as a W for her, this is literally one of her biggest Ls and none of yall should be celebrating it.

[snoopykissgone]

We need to kill commission culture. People treat artists like shit and always have the audacity to poke at people a few days to a week in to let them know youre watching and waiting and they owe you and youre waiting and they shouldnt be waiting what are you doing hurry up do it now im watching and waiting you cant do other stuff thats not the art for ME. Especially since a lot of artists are poor and/or disabled and often undercharge. Its fucking atrocious and drives so many people to stop taking comms or giving up on art. All because everyone will preach about how workers shld all unionize and get paid well and treated well at work but not if I gave you five bucks to draw the mona lisa in one day you piece of shit i mean bats my eyelashes how long is it gonna take? Get so fucking real a lot of artists should be able to hit commissioners with a bat how about you get good at art and do it your fucking self and take a commission and get rushed or bugged constantly while you have to deal with life and health and abuse on top of snooty ass consumers impatience and lack of empathy 🥸🙄

[bridgyrose]

i consumed that angst whole can you do more oscar pine ozma merge angst like perhaps after destroying monstra with magic or a scenario of accidentally using magic okay have a great day

(I hope this suffices. Also, rosegarden shippers, please dont kill me for this)

Oscar winced as the air around him started to calm, his head starting to feel a bit foggy as a few of his memories started to fade away from him. His ears rang as he staggered to regain his footing from the blast, his body shaking as he looked around to see ash falling from the sky. Everything had moved so quick, from Salem attacking to Hazel trying to defend him, and finally letting out the energy that was stored in Ozpin’s cane. 

“Oscar, we need to get out of here!” 

Oscar looked at Emerald as she pulled his arm, slowly nodding as he followed her without fighting. He looked at the others with him, no longer recognizing them on his own, but recognizing them as students he had taught and kept out of trouble. “And where are we going?” 

“If I can ever get my scroll to get signal-” Yang stopped for a moment as a call started to go through, her heart pounding as she heard the call answer. “Blake!” 

“Yang?” Blake’s voice came from the scroll. “Where are you? We just saw an explosion-” 

“That was our fault. We’re on our way back into Atlas, are you guys back in Mantle?” 

“We’re at Schnee Manor.” 

“Great! We’ll be there!” 

Oscar started to slow down to catch his breath, watching Yang, Jaune, Ren, and Emerald as they started to walk ahead of him. He could remember a time when three of them were a bit younger, slightly happier, students on their way to getting their huntsman licenses. He hardly recognized them now as his more recent memories started to slip away, thumbing away at the head of the cane he held. “How long do you think it’ll take us to get there?” he asked, his voice starting to sound more formal with each word. “We shouldnt keep them worrying.” 

Emerald looked around at the tunnel the map of Atlas led them through. “Maybe an hour walk. So not too long.” 

Oscar nodded, his posture slightly changing with each step, becoming slightly more proper as he used the cane to walk. He took in everything, memories flooding back from when a predecessor had helped build Atlas, recognizing every stone he passed. Finally, as he stepped out of the tunnel, he took a deep breath and looked out towards Atlas, taking everything in as he made his way to Schnee manor. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oscar! You’re okay!” 

Oscar flinched a moment as she felt Ruby hug him, slowly moving his arms around her to hug her back. “I am safe, Miss Rose.” 

Ruby pulled back and looked over Oscar. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Oscar replied, giving a small smile to Ruby. “I’m feeling fine, Ruby.” The name felt odd to say for a moment, his smile fading as he noticed the look she gave him. “But… you dont believe me, do you?” 

Ruby shook her head. “Can we talk? Alone?” 

“Sure.” Oscar took a few breaths as he walked with Ruby into the garden, nervously taking her hand. Then, his heart stopped as Ruby finally talked. 

“You’re not Oscar, are you?” 

Oscar sighed and looked away, pulling his hand away from Ruby’s. “Not… entirely. I’m me but… I’m losing me. I dont remember things I should, some of the things I do remember are muddled with things from Ozpin and previous people he was with…” He looked at his cane, holding it with both hands as he looked at the small gauge on the side. “And the more magic I use, the less I feel like me.” 

“You know you’ll always be you to me, right?” 

Oscar nodded, giving a small smile to Ruby as his hazel eyes started to look more green with flecks of gold and brown. “I know. And I’ll keep trying to be me no matter what.” 

Ruby smiled back. “We should get back with the others and figure out how we’re going to get everyone out of here.” 

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Oscar kept his smile up until Ruby walked back into the manor, his smile finally dropping as he let down the facade he had been holding ever since the explosion. His eyes glowed green as he felt himself being pulled away, just a passenger in his own body. 

“You know she’ll find out at some point that we’ve already merged, right?” Ozpin asked, his tone already sounding like Oscar. “Its just a matter of time before everything is finished.” 

“I know,” Oscar said, already feeling himself fade. “I need to keep this up just a little longer. Just until she doesnt need me anymore.” 

“And when will that be?” 

“Assuming everything goes right, she wont need me anymore after tonight.” 

Ozpin looked curious for a moment. “You know she’ll keep trying to keep you around, right?” 

Oscar went quiet for a brief moment, his voice shaking when he finally answered. “It’s… it’s already too late. I’m fading into you, becoming nothing more than a footnote to your history. We’ll help who we can, and by the time we finish, I’ll be gone and Ruby wont need me anymore. Then, she can focus on what’s important and she’ll have you to guide her.” 

“Would you like control again? Or would you prefer I try to pretend to be you some more?” 

“I-” Oscar cut off his own thought as he thought back to Ruby, seeing a few of her smiles just as the memories started to fade away. “I dont want her to remember me like this. I cant hurt her anymore than I have.” 

Ozpin started to walk back into the manor, quietly talking under his breath. “You cant hurt her anymore than she has been.”

[aquariumgirls]

vei lorepost. (tldr at the end before the cat picture. also this is a huge vent about how being on the internet so young (i was seven) damaged me as a person in a way that i fear may never be truly fixable and also i hate myself)

when i was young (like seven. i was on the internet too young) it was the ship and let ship/dont like dont read era of the internet. being a small child with autism i wanted to consume as much content related to the things i liked as possible, and ended up stumbling upon spaces i should not have been in nor been able to access at my age.

most of them were pertaining to things that i know understand are problematic. it damaged me fundamentally, as i only exited those spaces and realized all the things that i thought were normal were wrong, when i was 13 years old. it was traumatizing for me. it desensitized me to things that i should not be desensitized to. things that are disgusting to me now. and it fucking sucks when people say that fiction doesn't affect reality, because it absolutely fucking does. i am literal proof of that.

when i was eleven, i got my friend into undertale. it was the early days of the fandom, and i liked it because i had watched a youtuber play the demo of the game a few years prior. certain ships were popular. because i was eleven, i thought certain things were normal, and i was in nsfw spaces despite being so young, because it was practically everywhere.

when my friend got into it, she also got into one of the most popular problematic ships. she gave me a nickname pertaining to it, and despite me not knowing why, i was ashamed and embarrassed when she would call me that.

i (obviously) am not pr*ship. i am not neutral, either. i resent pr*shippers because people like them normalized things for me and exposed me to things that i should not have seen, and that should not have been normalized. i still get intrusive thoughts about it. i still feel ashamed of who i used to be. i still feel disgusted with myself when i have said intrusive thoughts. i am in therapy, and it took me a while to realize that it was traumatizing. i didn't just see gross fictional content, i saw real gore, shock videos that made me nauseous, videos from depraved people that i watched on a dare, among other things.

my first anime was hetalia, which im very much NOT proud of. you can imagine the shit i saw in 2011/2012/2013. i also had homestuck as a special interest until i was around sixteen, and by then i had been actively trying to avoid it for about a year.

basically: fiction affects reality and i am legitimately traumatized because of it. to be real i havent told anyone this. im afraid of being judged. i dont want people to think im like the people who exposed me to traumatizing and damaging content when i was little. these things make me physically nauseous with shame. you obviously dont have to read this post because its long as hell but i know that some people my age have probably had similar experiences. i dont call myself an anti anymore because im nineteen years old, but i deeply DEEPLY resent and hate pr*shippers. i also know that some of them are coping in unhealthy ways. but it doesn't change the fact that they exposed me to things i shouldnt have seen when i was a young, impressionable child, and it doesn't change the fact that they're still doing it now.

i am in therapy. i avoid and block every pr*shipper i see and religiously scour blogs to make SURE they aren't one. anytime a blog i like gets exposed for being one in secret, i feel sick.

i was in those damaging spaces longer than ive been out of them and sometimes i think that ill be damaged like this forever. ive done things im not proud of. things that make me so ashamed that i throw up. sometimes i wish i could wipe my memory from up until i was 13. i dont think ill keep this post up very long because frankly i dont want people to think im some sort of freak or whatever, but ive been thinking about this recently and i need to say it to SOMEONE before i go fucking crazy.

tldr: i was in pr*ship spaces until i figured out that shit was wrong and by then i was already 13 (in eighth grade) and by then the damage was already done and now im left with trauma, intrusive thoughts that make me physically nauseous, and a fear that im actually secretly like the people who exposed me to those traumatizing things.

cat photo to thank you for reading.

[giuliano-fan-account]

Life Update

Im looking at my posts and I'm realizing how LONG AND DISORGANIZED they are holy crap and I haven't posted here in a long time

More Long and Disorganized post:

I think thats bc I was intending this account to be mostly posting about giuliano but I can't do it bc even though he changed my life guys hes fr my #1 alwyas and forever theres still so many other things i want to talk about so I'll just do both.

Kinda wanna be more active since i just want to say things all the time and also I should rmember that this is just a silly internet site and not everybody is silently watching me and judging me (well I'm sure like 2 people are, but even so it shouldnt matter that much)

Also sort of regretting my style of posting everything at once since it helps but also hinders me from saying everything i want... LOL

I'm glad people liked my chapter reviews but idk if i could finish it up to 400 bc of what the troupe flashback did to me, and I already made a post about giuliano in chapter 400 so like I think my job here is done

I think im like that 1 wdwune guy rn but like exclusively when Im on tumblr because i have no limits on here and I physically can't not go on a tangent abt this

IM TRYING TO MAKE A POST ABOUT SHALKURO BUT ITS SO HARD BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY LMAOOOO

Izunavi x Giuliano is so easy for me to talk about since they are just my brand but other things I'll have to find a way

I also have a post about Bill x Kurapika but like feeling a little shy to post it but if somebody wants me to i will !!!

2 make it up to you here's smth that idk if I will ever finish inspired by sacred by depeche mode its him guys its him (and also if the book has a depeche mode reference i would fall into the cult too)

Anyways have a good day 😄 Let the darkness consume you when you sleep (not in an intrusive thoughts sort of way)

[mojavepumpkin]

"so we beat on, like boats against the current. borne back ceaselessly into the past." (cliche, i know but i can't get over that line)

sunday, march 3rd

haven't written in a while, haven't had my computer in a while. left it home when we went to fernandina. it was a good weekend. i was on my phone more than i'd like to have been, the weather was worse than i'd have liked it to have been. still managed to walk 12ish miles, all in all. the weather wasnt so bad when it wasnt raining. cooler than normal, especially sunday. saturday was nicer, walked 9 miles. had a conversation with a man in a silly hat selling free advice. he was nice but i dont feel all that helped, i still appreciate the conversation.

i am disturbed by my lack of preparedness for this literary thing. i have no idea what's going on, what im really doing, who even is running it. oh well, it can only help me i spose. or i could embarrass myself, but i guess i shouldnt get too hung up on that.

i might be getting a new car, or should i say, old truck. which is exciting. this summer. my car is the most expensive out of all of our cars, it was originally mom's and she gave it to me. the insurance is super high, so once we pay it off (in june), we can sell it and get something thats cheaper for me. it just so happens that i have a cheap taste in cars- or trucks. anyway, i hope we'll be able to find a 1998-2011 ford ranger. a tiny little truck for lil ole me.

anyway. im considering deleting youtube. it's tough. it's definitely my most used social media, and i can say 100% that it has made me better and more informed. if you can call it social media. but its also a big "crutch". eating food? watch youtube. getting ready in the morning? watch youtube. cleaning my room? watch youtube (this one is more understandable.)

given it more thought. i will delete it as an experiment. i think i need to learn how to practice mindfulness instead of consuming content every waking moment of my life. i need a book on it, maybe. definitely.

my mind feels very busy at the moment. let me think. the tv is very loud. i feel very hot. my room is dirty. okay. breathe.

what will happen tomorrow? anything of note? not that i can think of, i might make plans. that could be nice. i like keeping myself busy. i wish i could've figured out plans with J today, but nothing materialized - i just went outside by myself. i haven't read very much. but i haven't been on my phone very much. so i guess i've been doing things. i dont have any homework due. i dont have work tomorrow. i should be happy. i need to return a book to the library, and i cant think of anything else i need to do.

tomorrow might be a good day to walk. i'll speak to some folks. i'm trying to incorporate some more southernness into my speaking voice. idk, i'd like to feel like my voice is some kind of connection to the place from which i originate. i tried so hard to get rid of it, now i dont have it all and want it back. thats life.

despite not having known him for very long or very intimately i see a lot of my grandfather in myself. he has become sort of a kindred spirit i spose, for myself. maybe i do believe in the afterlife, i can still kind of feel him. maybe thats the afterlife we get, the feeling we leave with people. even though he isnt my biological grandfather, he was the only grandfather i knew on that side of my family that i ever knew. and now is certainly the only positive father like figure there. maybe all of those parts of him that are in me now are like little shrines i've built so that he can live on. our love of johnny cash, western movies, ford rangers, and straight-edge shaving. maybe i should start fishing more seriously, honestly i've thought about it often. i'd like to go fishing with a buddy. i just need a pole and some know-how, or my friend being the know-how could work too. i love him very much now, even though he is somewhat of a stranger to me. he loved my grandma, i can see that. i read one of their letters and was moved to tears. life is something incredible.

[necromycologist]

rating 'fantasies' songs by their tlt vibes

recently i got really into this album and ive been listening to it nonstop and i got the urge to make this post so behold.

Help I'm Alive

we open with a BANGER. the whole heart motif beauty of existence thing is very tlt in general but "if we're still alive my regrets are few/if my life is mine what shouldnt i do" feels like it could be ntn cam+pal perhaps. 6/10 for general vibes not really going anywhere specific tho.

Sick Muse

i could see this as a convo between gideon and harrow. "pull your little arrows out an let me live my life" she WOULD say that about love... ily harrowhark necro'mancer nonagesimus lyctorway keep sticking your middle finger up at preps. but the main event is "all the blondes are fantasies/we looked at them eleven ways/you said look at me then looked away" like i dont even need to explain this one. YOU SAID LOOK AT ME THEN LOOKED AWAY the orpheus and eurydice the betrayal the hurt why wont you eat me please please consume me why are you saving me sorry one sec. ill shut up about greek myths now. 7.5/10 that one lyric saved it for me

Satellite Mind

this song is so strange and offputting it has to be about our favourite little bone nun <3 its givin htn harrow "i can feel you most when im alone" um the body the body the body "flashback of a feeling/sixth sense of a calling" its the love! that they couldnt take away!! 6/10 because i think that the dreamy freaky what the fuck is happening are suuuuper htn however the actual lyrics arent super close

Gold Guns Girls

i want this song to be about ianthe tridentarius soooooo bad... i want it to be about our favourite perpetually thirdweeling failgirl so much... like ive never wanted anything else ever oh my GOD... "i remember when you were gambling to win/everybody else said better luck next time" underestimated at canaan house anyone? anyone at all? no takers?? no??? 3/10 because despite my deepest wishes this is just a good song thats not about gay catholic homestuck 😔

Gimme Sympathy

slightly ironic gtn griddlehawk at its finest. "get hot/get too close to the flames" oops! now ur her cavalier "wild open space" gideon-gettin-shocked-by-days-on-earth-emotional.png "talk like an open book" not with that vow of silence. idiot. "sign me up!" shes not signed up haha "ill remember someday all the chances we took" not after the lobotomy u wont lol "we're so close to something better left unknown" cough cough LYCTORHOOD. 9/10 manifesting kiriona giving harrow sympathy after all of this is gone in alecto

Collect Call

hiii ntn fans i prommy i didn’t forget abt u! this one goes out to the psychosexual mess of role playing and bad meals enjoyers <3 "i know it's a lie i want it to be true/the rest of the rot is riding on you" oh boy like i said psychosexual mess... pyrra dve my beloved "wishing you could KEEP! ME! CLOSER! IM A LAZY! DANCER! WHEN YOU MOVE! I! MOVE WITH YOUOOOOOOOOO" oh lord nona placing her hand on cam's shoulder like palamedes would. oh lord being so close in one body and yet a second apart. 8/10 should be higher but i started Having Feelings about nona's death again and couldnt finish listening to the song

Front Row

this is a john song if I’ve ever heard one. “burnt out stars they shine so bright… all of us” is def. giving lyctor vibes. (just children playing with reflections thinking they were stars grauauauagh etc etc) plus plus “he’s not perfect/he’s a victim/of his occupation/social insulation/secret intervention” like fuck dude he really is!!! pilot that president around ordinary dude fuck the world up with your good intentions!!! 10/10 this song is the brainrot undying the kindly prince of my lyctor brainrot

Blindness

besties ngl i am INCREDIBLY torn on this one,,, on one hand “what it is and where it stops nobody knows/you gave me a life i never chose/i wanna leave but the world wont let me go” goes crazy hard. like harrowhark ‘cursed to keep living’ nonagesimus? hello is that u? on the other hand the whole opening sequence of this is very blood of eden coded… 5/10 this song has a very Character Energy about it but i think i must accept that that character is probably not a tlt one

Stadium Love

ohohohoo! here she comes!! this song IS about canaan house like the whole thing n nothing will convince me otherwise. "wanna make a deal/angel versus eel" hm im getting gideighth betrayal vibes from this "rabbit versus dove" WHAT DID I SAY colum get back here your government assigned fursona is in the song "owl versus dove" uuuuuh this can be about the sixth being cool basically whenever because sixth -> wisdom -> athena -> owl. idc that they live on mercury fuck off. the blorbos may be smart but i dont have to be. btw camilla hect if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out plz respond and then hang out with me on thursday night when im free. u can bring your necromancer too if yw. "every living thing pushed into the ring" duel time every (necro)man(cer) for himself "guess you thought you could just watch" go on enforce that cohort order judith! it wont backfire at all haha! "NO. ONES. GETTING. OUT" well. uh. none of them are. plus cant you just see the Character Portrait Flashes AMV Moments to the wooowooos?? cant you??? "without STADIUM LOVE" the last time they say this w the beat drop it should be gidedeath cytherea duel epic timez and then the echoing "love love" at the end is harrow waking up and mouthing The Three Syllables TM. 11/10 somebody lend me their animation skills please i would be sooo epic and responsible with them i have a Vison...

in conclusion thx for listening to my deranged ramblings (if anyone actually does.) please go listen to fantasies its so so good... message me and we can brainrot thru it together xoxo

[pictureday2005]

hi 🥺 i hope this doesn't come off weirdly, but as per your bio, i do want to let you know, abd/l and b/abyfur are both fetish things to their core, there may be "sfw" versions but they both have sexual origins. i wanted to let you know because it seemed like you didn't know this! have a great day, i love the pretty things on your blog <3

first, im absolutely aware (been on the net for over a decade at this point LOL. its hard NOT to be aware these days 😭) and i really dont care who follows me, so long as they arent harming anyone. the only thing i have a problem with is reblogging posts containing children onto nsfw blogs. thats gross. if a blog makes me uncomfortable i can block them from this blog and my main, and report them if need be. but in general, someones interests outside of here dont directly affect me so idc!

second, i feel like i should say babyfur shouldnt be lumped in with that. implying its a fetish at its core is incorrect and potentially harmful, since theyre majorly just age regressors and folks reliving their childhood thru their sonas. youre likely thinking of "cub," which is nasty and anyone creating or consuming such content is absolutely not welcome on this blog.

babyfurs, as well as age regressing furs such as myself, are welcome!

i do appreciate the concern either way! and thank you ^_^

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning, lovie!! this kitten TT theyre so tiny i cant help myself TT 'what did i do?' exist 'I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!' oh so cute🥺 it looks so pirate-ish? 'i want to write ideas outside my reqs' if itll be easier than making reqs then do it. its ok. tumblr is nothing in comparison with your comfort. 'while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing’' its good bc you are. hope you get out too. praying for you, m cutie. 'i want a hug from you for real' oh nooo sweetheart no need to cry. i only can give you dozens of virtual hugs but still luvluvluv u<з did you watch doctor who? i wanted to recommend s6 but then i understood there you cant watch just one ep bc 1-7 is the whole complete plotline💀 but it was so confusing and dramatic it worth it. 'ive seen crack edits' OH babygirl TT they had SUCH a drama TT i cried. there was my fav quote. oh what a good time it was... 'i cant write it im sorry' it fine you shouldnt be sorry! 'She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself?' yes. 'i literally make mood boards' and its even more time-consuming? 'have not enjoyed writing a series in a long time' im glad to know you enjoy it!! 'i might really just stop writing for a while' if thats what you need then ok. you do owe nothing to anyone. its solely your choice. 'this post is really cute too' OMG YES its a leaf dragon TT and it has the paws TT 'im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you' bad example for kids, catmom. but ok its good to know you already know it. its cute what you do to reply me<з r u better? 'its so hot my head hurts' FREEZY KISSES 'the fact you care enough to do that' OFC I DO. if i have symbols ill write one idea here. 'i dont want to fail' you will not. youre smart, talented and hard-working. you wont fail. youll graduate and everythingll be just fine. 'i also wanted to share this video about wolves' omg yes! its so.. reliving? its good to know nature has its ways. sorry i wasnt able to watch the tiger series as i cant really concentrate on the long vids and has been sleeping and dozing off for the whole day TT ill definately watch it later though. AJDHFJKF half an hour ago i was like hm i need to check smth on youtube and got completely carried away TT im back though. yk i read a fic abt shadow & bone then i did a research abt whole grishaverse so i learnt this universe and its (ESPECIALLY) language are inspired by russia in 19th century and russian and mongolian and i have LOTS of questions TT like??? ok this main idk antagonist(?) darklings name is alexander morozovA and its the fem form of last name while the fem character has surname safin but its a musc form??? and yeah the main characters surname starkov is also the musc form?? these are real last names here TT and while i can get why fem characters have musc last names 1) musc is the first form so its not rare to see musc words with the fem characters in foreign things 2) they dont derive from the real russian word BUT HIS last name???? its THE MOST common, traditional and productive way to make a surname its literally a rus word+suffix ov+ no enging if its musc or ending a if its fem. WHY??? so many questions and no answers (or i wasnt searching for them). and why tf they are GRISHA TT grisha is just the form of name Grigorii WHY TF the whole social group is called GRISHA? i have a few questions to the language but ok i wont be ranting too much. like i was SO amused. i laughed so hard TT ok i was about writing a fic idea but i got too carried away by this. so plss really let me know if you feel like it can spoil your mood or youre tired of others reqs. i consider it pretty (my bestie said its cliche and too suppy :( ) and would like too see it. but i dont want to force you. and you shouldnt do it to yourself! i dont want you to feel pressed bc of me. bc of anything really. sorry for this outburst. im still procrastinating (clown emoji bc the site i was taking them from became shitty). hope you do better. have a good day/evening/night! freezy hugs to feel a lil better! luv u! take care<з

HI <3

have you ever watched aristocats? i remember loving it as a child but also i cant remember anything that happened in the film besides the fact i love this kitty mari(? is that her name lol AHHAH) so much

good morning, lovie!! this kitten TT theyre so tiny i cant help myself TT

YES TEENY TINY KITTY <3

'what did i do?' exist

omg HAHAHA love that for me HAHA

'I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!' oh so cute🥺 it looks so pirate-ish?

oh does it. it just looks... cute to me HAHAHAH

'i want to write ideas outside my reqs' if itll be easier than making reqs then do it. its ok. tumblr is nothing in comparison with your comfort.

<3 <3

'while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing’' its good bc you are. hope you get out too. praying for you, m cutie.

thank you i love you

'i want a hug from you for real' oh nooo sweetheart no need to cry. i only can give you dozens of virtual hugs but still luvluvluv u<з

did you watch doctor who? i wanted to recommend s6 but then i understood there you cant watch just one ep bc 1-7 is the whole complete plotline💀 but it was so confusing and dramatic it worth it.

lol ok once i finish my midterms ill watch that after watching one ep from the last of us. now i have something to look forward to now i have to finish my activities

'ive seen crack edits' OH babygirl TT they had SUCH a drama TT i cried. there was my fav quote. oh what a good time it was...

they look like they have so much fun, both in the show but also shooting it irl

'i cant write it im sorry' it fine you shouldnt be sorry!

T_T

'She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself?' yes.

damn ok HAHAH

'i literally make mood boards' and its even more time-consuming?

but its part of the process. i love making art and moodboards <3

'have not enjoyed writing a series in a long time' im glad to know you enjoy it!!

<3 it is so much fun to write that. it sucks that i find it hard to write, though i did manage to make a pedro pascal fic again AHAHHA

'i might really just stop writing for a while' if thats what you need then ok. you do owe nothing to anyone. its solely your choice.

thank you my love

'this post is really cute too' OMG YES its a leaf dragon TT and it has the paws TT

THE BEANZ I LOVE THE PAW PAW BEANS

'im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you' bad example for kids, catmom. but ok its good to know you already know it. its cute what you do to reply me<з r u better?

i never said you should follow my example. listen to your teachers kid. also idk if im better im usually out of it when im hungry im quite hungry rn but ill eat later after my grunkle is finished eating

'its so hot my head hurts' FREEZY KISSES

thank you. it rained today, so its not hot. your freezy kisses did that

'the fact you care enough to do that' OFC I DO. if i have symbols ill write one idea here.

T_T im just really hungry but this is making me emotional T_T

'i dont want to fail' you will not. youre smart, talented and hard-working. you wont fail. youll graduate and everythingll be just fine.

thank you <3 T_T

'i also wanted to share this video about wolves' omg yes! its so.. reliving? its good to know nature has its ways. sorry i wasnt able to watch the tiger series as i cant really concentrate on the long vids and has been sleeping and dozing off for the whole day TT ill definately watch it later though.

you dont have to watch the tiger series if you dont want to. i only shared it because i liked it and you shared something you like to me. i love the wolf video so much. i love nature. i love God. i love everything <3

AJDHFJKF half an hour ago i was like hm i need to check smth on youtube and got completely carried away TT im back though.

me HAHAAH

yk i read a fic abt shadow & bone

omg you like shadow and bone too <3 SLAY IM SO EXCITED TO WATCH S2

then i did a research abt whole grishaverse so i learnt this universe and its (ESPECIALLY) language are inspired by russia in 19th century and russian and mongolian and i have LOTS of questions TT like???

i know you dont have tiktok but there is this tiktok creator that is think is like... from one of the stan countries, and she talked about what you just told me, or things like that. its really interesting to know there is a grishaverse! good for you hahahh you can understand the russian stuff/inspo cause youre russian <3

ok this main idk antagonist(?) darklings name is alexander morozovA and its the fem form of last name while the fem character has surname safin but its a musc form??? and yeah the main characters surname starkov is also the musc form??

i think slay i love that for them i didnt even know that but they totally did it for me <3 HAHAH

these are real last names here TT and while i can get why fem characters have musc last names 1) musc is the first form so its not rare to see musc words with the fem characters in foreign things 2) they dont derive from the real russian word BUT HIS last name???? its THE MOST common, traditional and productive way to make a surname its literally a rus word+suffix ov+ no enging if its musc or ending a if its fem. WHY??? so many questions and no answers (or i wasnt searching for them).

i dont think i understand this anymore. AHHA i dont know enough about russian/russian names to get it AHHAH. maybe they did it for the aesthetic. are you watching season 1? or season 2? all i know is i was so sosoossosososo excited to see ben barnes my benny barnes who i keep having a crush on in every stage of my life. how dare he be so hot T_T

and why tf they are GRISHA TT grisha is just the form of name Grigorii WHY TF the whole social group is called GRISHA? i have a few questions to the language but ok i wont be ranting too much. like i was SO amused. i laughed so hard TT

it makes me wonder if the original creator of this world, the author or the books, is russian. i just looked it up, apparently she is israelli-american interesting lol HAHAHAH

ok i was about writing a fic idea but i got too carried away by this. so plss really let me know if you feel like it can spoil your mood or youre tired of others reqs. i consider it pretty (my bestie said its cliche and too suppy :( ) and would like too see it. but i dont want to force you. and you shouldnt do it to yourself! i dont want you to feel pressed bc of me. bc of anything really. sorry for this outburst. im still procrastinating (clown emoji bc the site i was taking them from became shitty).

jokes on your friend i love cliche stories. yum yum yum HAHAHH. you should have just told me my love. i love hearing your ideas, even though i have no intention to write them. i love you so much dont apologize for 'this outburst'

hope you do better. have a good day/evening/night! freezy hugs to feel a lil better! luv u! take care<з

im going to eat then do homework <3 i hope you have a wonderful day <3 take care ok

xxx

[sereniv]

I hate ED brain

like i know that eating less isnt how to lose weight and i know that for me i always end up bingeing

but i had gotten down to 167 and now im at 169, and i didnt think i had that much bread, or that whole wheat/grain bread would make me gain weight

i had like 3 pieces and they are small slices

and all i had today was some rice. well technically the toast too i guess

and ive been walking nearly everyday for the past few days

i feel lightheaded and i have a headache and im hungry but i want to just

power through until tomorrow

im not even counting calories. which i thought would help me avoid all this but i guess not

maybe ill sleep

i hate that a part of me feels proud that i feel hungry

ughh

i know its ok to eat i know like i know all of it. im aware of it all and what i should and shouldnt be doing but i cant stop myself

and i know that yet again im going to get to a point where im not getting enough food and just end up binge eating and then feeling like shit about it

the (illogical) part of me feels like if i could just power through, learn to get around the hunger feeling and fill it with like healthy carbs and fiber and protien but not like, a lot of food just enough

that i could lose weight. i just want to go back to 150. thats it. maybe 140. but no lower

idk im so tired and lightheaded rn

i just dont want to binge again. just let me win ONCE and get into better habits

ive been walking the dog, and i just bought some trash grabbers which will arrive today so i have like

stuff to go out and do and get exercise

i just need more self control. and also to stop consuming so much salt. i eat a lot of salt i feel like

ok im going to try and sleep

i wanted to work on my commission but idk if thats happening. i mean i did a little but not much bleh

[christmascookiediary]

Just found the most disgusting thing ive ever seen on the internet

Just so you know, i have seen and especially read some very disturbing things before but i have never NEVER seen anything so vile, disgusting all the words

This thing im talking about is called the fluffy pony community - its just full of people who like to see fluffy ponies (not real ponies mlp fluffy ponies) get tortured and abused and its honestly the most vile thing i have seen

I have NEVER gotten this sick when i read/saw stuff that was supposed to make you feel uneasy like splatterpunk or movies like salo for example

When i tell you this stuff is genuinely vile i mean it

A video called “fluffy pony abuse - no miwkies” pooped up on my recommendation and it is it it is it makes me so shake my head

The contents of the video are disgusting enough but the general story is that there is a mother fluffy pony with 4 foals, one of them is very fat because the mother overfeeds it because its a sensitive crybaby. And this absolutely evil vile man takes these ponies in because theyre homeless and he tortures them.

I will not continue the synopsis

Not only is the story terrorizing on its own the artwork amplifies it because it shows the mother pony’s swelled up breasts and why does she only have 2

This is some kind of sick perverted interests and fantasies of the people in the comments

I would have been like yeah okay fine this is just someone’s thoughts and story whatever fine do that but the community is SO TWISTED SO TWISTED SOOO SO SO TWISTED

Because WHY are these idiots skewing the story

Its one thing to enjoy the story on its own right but these comments, these idiot fuckwads are so twisted and stupid that they believe that the little innocent ponies deserve the torture they got

Its so sick that these fluffy pony stories have been targeted at children because the art and the fluffy ponies themselves bypass whats allowed for children to look at and as a result of this these children have become desensitized to this horrible torture gore and even like it

In their damaged perverted minds this is acceptable is this justice for the actions of the fluffy ponies

Whoever enjoys this in a way that encourages the story rather than just accepting or even appreciating the story is a sick pervert

I cant blame anyone for enjoying what they enjoy i like this gross stuff too much I DONT TWIST THE NARRATIVE IN MY MIND AND ENCOURAGE WHAT IS CLEARLY WRONG

THESE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF THEIR MORALITY

THESE HORRIBLE ARTISTS TARGETING CHILDREN ARE THIEVES

But at the end of the day, me being too much of an accepting person, i guess people are allowed to enjoy what they enjoy and its their right to share it aswell

But its such a bad horrible thing to share especially to little children, you are RUINING them and YOU WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE

THESE EVIL EVIL PEOPLE NEED TO BE PUNISHED AND HAVE THEIR RIGHT TO SHARE TAKEN AWAY

Stuff like this shouldnt be readily available for children to access, LET ALONE FREAKING RECOMMENDED ON YOUTUBE. Content like this should only be available to people who seek it, not to children who just want to see videos of their favorite show on youtube. I searched “fluffy ponies” on my search bar and the first videos that popped up were tortureporn like the video i saw. This stuff shouldnt be on youtube, rather in a designated website that is not easily found and accessible to children

The people who make and consume this content get enjoyment from seeing something innocent (like fluffy ponies) be tortured and ruined and destroyed, the same thing is happening to the young children who watch this stuff, at best they are scarred by what they just saw and at worst they join this sick and twisted community (i especially know this because the profiles of the people commenting under the gore video had pfps that children usually have like gacha life and neon edm fursonas and roblox avatars). These children dont know how disgusting this stuff is because i can tell you as a child that had unlimited internet access that you quickly get desensitized to this stuff and even end up seeking it, enjoying it. The people who make these mlp torture stuff are truly despicable because they know it will reach children under the umbrella of it being my little pony, this is their sick pleasure knowing that it will taint innocent children.

[sadnsxft]

Hello! I know it’s been a while but you are literally the only person I talk to about this character and I have another Keegan x my OC Isaac idea.

Idk if you remember but I sent a snippet a while ago talking about how Isaac and Hesh bonded over being big brothers who lost their younger brothers, and then afterwards Keegan and Isaac kinda make up and admit that they care about each other. Keegan tells Isaac that he sees him as a member of their little ragtag family and Isaac comes clean about his past

So after the events of the Ghosts campaign and my little snippet, everyone goes into “Find Logan Mode”. Isaac being a data analyst/encryption whatever the heck guy spend a lot of time doing digital work to find Logan. He hacks into Fed data systems, tracks suspicious finances and shipping routes that could have ANY possible connection to Logan or Rourke. But he also accompanied the team on missions still too, especially if it’s to facilities that he thinks have valuable intel.

However he starts to spiral and take on too much of a work load. Isaac always starts his day early at the gym they have on base, so it’s no surprise for the Ghosts to see him there in the morning and then at his computer for the rest of the day if there are no missions. The others start to wonder though when he starts skipping meal times of something is up with him. Keegan visits Isaac at his desk sometimes to check on him and always see wrappers for protein bars and empty water bottles and such.

It gets bad enough that Merrick AND Hesh both ask Keegan if he knows what is wrong with Isaac two separate times. Isaac keeps brushing everyone off saying he is fine, even when Keegan asks.

Keegan decides one evening to confront Isaac about it, waiting up until he hears Isaac come back from his desk to the barracks for the night. He waits one hour, then two, then three, next thing Keegan knows is he’s jolting awake only too lol at the clock that reads 5 am and Isaac still hadn’t returned, but suspiciously, his gym bag is gone.

Keegan goes to check the offices to find Isaacs desk empty. With a sour twist of his gut, Keegan goes to to check the gym.

Once he enters, Keegan can hear the sound of sneakers hitting rubber amd the whirring him of a treadmill. What concerns him though is the labored breathing that doesn’t come from a warm up run, but from utter exhaustion. Keegan zeroes in on Isaac just as the other man looses balance and falls forward, launching backwards as the treadmill sends him tumbling off.

Keegan rushes over and starts fussing over Isaac. He tries to help him up but Isaac is disoriented and can’t seem to stand up, barely registering that Keegan is there. Keegan worries that Isaac has a concussion but he didn’t see him hit his head on the fall. He tries to get Isaac to tell him what’s wrong but all that comes out are mumbled words that Keegan can’t make out.

Keegan decided he’s done waiting around and watching as Isaac deteriorates. He scoops Isaac up bridal style, concerningly without any protest or snide remarks from the other, and carries him down to medical.

Keegan WILL get answers from Isaac eventually, but right now he just wants him to be okay

(Kinda losing steam but let me know your thoughts if you have any lol)

OMG hey!! its good to hear from you again :) maybe i shouldnt be answering this when the ashwagandha i took is kickin me into sleepy time mode but i got excited after reading this LMAO

anyways, i love a good "please, just let me take care of you" scenario but like im so concerned for isaac becoming all consumed into his work :(

KEEGAN GET THAT BOY PATCHED UP AND INTO A BED HE NEEDS MIMIS AND A HOT MEAL

i just know when he gets that rest he needs theres gonna be a long conversation

"i know youre frustrated, we all are. but we need you alive. i-" hard emphasis on i "need you alive". typa deal

also that part when keegs jolts awake, i just imagine like the old man ass wake up. mid snore, and jolts like the world is ending for a split second LMAOOO

sorry i have like no actual thoughts to contribute but thanks for sharing your thoughts with me again! this is so fun :)

[girlforever27]

i don’t know why im crying over you again. i thought we were done. im so sorry. im so overwhelmed by sadness i feel consumed whole. i was writing about us, by the way. about how anxious and avoidant types often get together. i got really sad, thinking about how our relationship was never going to work out. sometimes when i let my mind wander i think about your hands. and sometimes when im around you i stop focusing and let myself smell your cologne. it smells like temptation and foliage. the other day we talked in a group and you got too close. it felt like we were together again for a fleeting moment, i swayed away. i cant. i shouldnt. you dont want to, anyway. your arm brushed mine and i was weak at the knees. i find any justification to keep thinking about you. were you the love of my life or my worst mistake? Or am i just sixteen? Probably the latter. I’m afraid I’m afraid I’m afraid tonight

[hopeididntscareyou]

I may be a sweet person but one thing you would know about me is I have a health condition where I always feel like throwing up after eating something sweet. I can never finish an ice cream, cake, or shake/smoothie. I've never been a fan of chocolates. I thought its just because I didn't just like sweets but I realized that I am physically just intolerant of sweets. I can still consume sweets like juice, a few bites of something sweet but anything more than that the consequence is me vomiting. It really sucks but hey sweets are not my favorite foods anyway.

Speaking of vomiting, I find it hilarious that people are shocked to find out that Lucifer V. is an actual, IRL-psychopath who exploits mentally ill children and abuses the fuck out of them so he could use them to film his stupid vomit porn. Why is that surprising? How stupid are you to think that someone who makes snuff porn is a good person? The fact that Marian Dora's films features real animal abuse should be alarming. It disgusts me even more how people proudly say they love LV movies like what the fuck? You are basically consuming child porn/animal abuse/sexual debauchery material and you love that huh? Even if you say the actors/actress are of legal age at the time of filming the literal plot of these garbage films is about being devoid of morality so why are you denying you are consuming the exploitation of children? In A Serbian Film there was the "newborn porn" - a literal baby being raped, the young son of the main character was raped by his own father, another underaged girl was sexually abused as well. August Mordum shows countless of raping of children. Salo is all about sodomizing and doing scat porn with boys and girls. These are not grown adults these are children not only engaging in sexual acts but disturbing and vile sexual acts. Congratulations for proving that watching the torment and sexual abuse of distressed & exploited human beings let alone children makes you feel good about yourself. I do admit I have seen the same stuff but would I say i love them? No. Would I go out of my way to purchase DVDs and post a collection of these childporn posession on the internet? No. You fucking degenerates need to be locked up and get fist fucked in prison. Anyone who claims these banned films is art is pretentious as fuck who doesn't understand anything about existential philosophy yet embarass themselves even more by throwing Nietzsche quotes to sound edgy. Its amusing to me how do fucked-up individuals can just freely roam around doing the most depraved shit you can ever imagine and getting away with it because people are too busy getting offended and cancelling people over racist/homophobic words on twitter. People are so fucking ignorant, it makes me feel ashamed to be a human being. I actually wish there were more Jeffrey Dahmer in this day and age so people could be aware of the actual dark side of the humanity rather than focusing on the slavery in the 1500s or some shit in stone age. How about the slavery in todays age where big chain companies pay workers a minimum wage which is not even livable at all because how the fuck could someone pay for an apartment in the city that costs atleast $1,000 excluding utilities, electricity, car and gas while only making $8.00 per hour? People would just rather get offended about things that shouldnt concern them like celebrity news being racist or some shit. If I was a serial killer, my goal would probably to eradicate stupid people in this planet . The other day though, I carelessly mentioned to a friend how I would want to publicly execute a celebrity billionaire. That was awkward cause the intention of murder threw them off and they did not get my humor at all. I guess this is why i only genuinely get along with aspies despite not autistic enough to care about chemistry.... ( this just goes to show that my final exam on chem was a GG)

[storyofmychoices]

Yay more T and C to heal my Sipes family broken heart ❤️

Just checking in on a patient he helped save two days before. The excuse was so flimsy he didn’t even believe it himself. And if the stuffed animal under his arm didn’t give him away, the fact that he had no interest in seeing Raf, the other person he helped save two days ago, made Tobias’s intentions pretty clear.  

Tobias, we all know your intention, you are more obvious than Trystan and MC and we love you for that. You and Casey are the best and I love you both!

I know things are angsty here but I'm focusing on their happy ending so we're going to ignore him feeling like he shouldnt be there but he came a respectable time after her friends and family and also this

This woman had consumed his mind and soul from the day they met. Bewitched, that’s what he thought it was; no one ever had that effect on him before.

BUT THEN YOU ADDED

She also had his heart.

“No,” she insisted. “I want to sit up for a bit... I didn’t fight to stay alive to lay on my back and sleep all day.”

I love her. She is so strong and amazing!

“No..” he stuttered. “I..uh.. uh... I came to check on you... you know, in a medical capacity, because...” he stopped when he caught her grinning at him. “What?” “Do you always carry a neon dinosaur under your arm when you’re visiting patients... in a professional capacity?” He was caught

Even after all she endured and overcame she still is so strong and will never let him get away with anything. I love her so much.

THIS WHOLE SECTION!

“Yeah, the Edenbrook gift shop is seriously lacking. I was hoping for something cuter... but my choices were the rhino or a stingray... I thought the rhino was better, given my options.” “Well, I think he’s plenty cute,” Casey replied as she played with her gift. “I’ve always wanted a neon purple rhinoceros.” “Oh, really?” “Really,” she grinned with a tiny wince. “It’s been on my Christmas list for years.” “Well, maybe Santa dropped a clue. We’re tight, you know.” “Of course you are! He has to consult with you to see who’s been naughty in the greater Boston area. At least that’s the rumor.” “Yeah,” Tobias replied, his enthusiasm diminished. “That’s what most people think of me.”

I can't even pick a favorite part to quote because i love every single world because i love them so much. They are such goals and they're not even together lksdjfkljsdf

Life doesn’t have perfect endings, but sometimes, it’s good enough. And right now, he was grateful for the new chapter that was beginning.

💖💖💖💖💖💖

@lilyoffandoms

A New Chapter

Book: Open Heart (Book 2)

Characters: Tobias Carrick, Casey MacTavish (F!MC)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Very minor talk of hospitals, serious illness

Words: 1,500

Summary: They met. They fell hard. He screwed it up. But when a crisis hit, he rose to the occasion; but where does that leave them? When the doctor goes to visit his patient, he finds out.

A/N: This is technically the first part of the "From Here to There" anthology I'm working on to bridge how Tobias & Casey went from broken up to friends to so much more. I've told you guys the future, but I've never shown you how. This is me fixing that. :)

Tobias shifted uncomfortably, mumbling something about the chairs being far more comfortable at Kenmore. He arrived at Edenbrook a little over an hour via the staff entrance. And why wouldn’t he? He wasn’t a visitor but a doctor there in an official capacity. At least that’s what he told himself and anyone else, regardless of whether they asked. Just checking in on a patient he helped save two days before. The excuse was so flimsy he didn’t even believe it himself. And if the stuffed animal under his arm didn’t give him away, the fact that he had no interest in seeing Raf, the other person he helped save two days ago, made Tobias’s intentions pretty clear.  

A couple of nurses stopped in, Ethan and Sienna, too. All offered to tell Casey he passed by and, in their own way, encouraged him to go home and rest. But his schedule was clear, and his mind made. He was staying until she woke. As the clock ticked away, he wondered if this was selfish. Sure, they shared some kind words during that dreadful ordeal, and she had thanked him profusely after an antidote was found. Still, given their history, he knew he might be the last person she wanted to see. 

That’s why he stayed away until now. Casey had family and friends who had far more right to be at her side. He’d only be in her way. A reminder of things she’d rather forget. Perhaps she’d even blame him for everything that occurred. Heaven knows he did as he lay awake in bed since the night of the attack. But after two days, he couldn’t stay away any longer. This woman had consumed his mind and soul from the day they met. Bewitched, that’s what he thought it was; no one ever had that effect on him before. But with everything he was forced to face this week, he had to admit it to himself. His mind and soul weren’t the only things she had stolen. She also had his heart.

Still, he was there without expectations. He only wanted to talk to her, to reassure himself that she was all right. If she woke up and ordered him out, he promised himself he’d leave without incident and never bother her again. But how he hoped it wouldn’t go that way.

He sat at attention, perched on the end of that damn chair, when Casey began to stir. That’s when it dawned on him... he had no idea what he was going to say. So he waited patiently until she opened her eyes. 

“To.. Tobias?” she asked groggily, flinching with discomfort as she tried to sit up.

“Yes,” he jumped to his feet. “Don’t get up; you can stay lying down.”  

“No,” she insisted. “I want to sit up for a bit... I didn’t fight to stay alive to lay on my back and sleep all day.”

He helped adjust her bed into an upright position and got an extra pillow from the closet to help support her head.

“There,” she sighed with relief. “That’s perfect.”

“How are you feeling? I looked over your chart... are you still getting headaches?”

“It’s never gone away, but it’s getting better every day.”

“Good,” he replied nervously. “I.. I also looked at your bloodwork. It’s unbelievable, really... better than any of us anticipated....”

“I know. They may even kick me out of this joint tomorrow.”

“How do you feel about that?”

She shrugged her shoulders, face devoid of expression. “I don’t know. But if I say I’m not ready, Ethan will move heaven and earth to make sure I stay.”

He knew it was foolish to feel a twinge of jealousy when Casey said Ethan’s name. He was in her past as much as Tobias himself. And the two rivals had buried the hatched the other night. Some may even say they had a moment or two. But Tobias knew he might not be the only fool who had come to his senses when faced with the prospect of losing her. Perhaps they...

“So he’s taking good care of you, then?” The words escaped without permission.

“He is. Him and everyone else. It’s amazing, but if you nearly die, suddenly everyone gives you the royal treatment,” she half smiled. “Is that why you’re here, too?”

“No..” he stuttered. “I..uh.. uh... I came to check on you... you know, in a medical capacity, because...” he stopped when he caught her grinning at him. “What?”

“Do you always carry a neon dinosaur under your arm when you’re visiting patients... in a professional capacity?”

He was caught.

“Sure,” he smirked. “It’s kind of my thing. I’m known for it.”

He pulled his chair slightly closer and handed the stuffed animal to Casey.

“But, I think he’s a little offended because he’s a rhinoceros, not a dinosaur.”

“A rhinoceros?” she chuckled.

“Yeah, the Edenbrook gift shop is seriously lacking. I was hoping for something cuter... but my choices were the rhino or a stingray... I thought the rhino was better, given my options.”

“Well, I think he’s plenty cute,” Casey replied as she played with her gift. “I’ve always wanted a neon purple rhinoceros.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really,” she grinned with a tiny wince. “It’s been on my Christmas list for years.”

“Well, maybe Santa dropped a clue. We’re tight, you know.”

“Of course you are! He has to consult with you to see who’s been naughty in the greater Boston area. At least that’s the rumor.”

“Yeah,” Tobias replied, his enthusiasm diminished. “That’s what most people think of me.”

Casey was about to reply when a nurse entered the room. After taking her vitals, she asked if she’d like assistance taking a shower.

“Oh, I would love that!” Casey enthused. “Could you come back in maybe fifteen minutes?”

“Of course,” the nurse smiled, flashing Tobias a sharp look. He looked down at the floor, wondering how much his reputation preceded him.

“Well, I won’t keep you,” he mumbled. “But, since the rhino blew my cover... I didn’t come here professionally.”

“No kidding?” Casey smirked.

“I just... I needed to see you were doing better with my own eyes. And I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am for everything. So, I really appreciate that you didn’t call security the second you opened your eyes.”

“Well, that would be mighty rude of me, considering Raf and I might not be here right now if not for you.”

Tobias smiled tenderly and quickly fought the visceral reflex to take her hand in his.

“I would have helped anyone, Casey. But I worked extra hard because it was you.”

Casey looked down at the rhinoceros sitting on her lap, anxiously twirling his purple fur between her fingers. Tobias spoke quickly in an attempt to put her at ease.

“Now, don’t feel like you’re obligated. I know you didn’t exactly want me around before this all happened, and, well... I know that probably hasn’t changed. I just want you to know I’m happy you’re doing better. I’m going to head out, but if you ever want to report anyone to Santa, now you know who to call.”

“Tobias, wait...” Casey called after him, patting a spot beside her on the bed. “That sounded like a goodbye, and after all I’ve been through the past couple of days, I realize just how much I don’t want to say goodbyes anymore. Now, I’m not saying you and I... that we...” she motioned between them, unsure of exactly what to say.

“Casey,” Tobias smiled. “I never expected that we’d...” he motioned between them as she had a moment before.  

“I’m not in a place to deal with anything like that... not with you or anyone else. But I wouldn’t mind if you checked in on me every now and then. And if it’s OK with you, maybe I could bug you sometimes.”

“You would never bug me.”

“I’ll remind you of that,” she grinned.

“Casey MacTavish, are we becoming friends?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, taking his hand. “I guess we are.”

“I like that,” he whispered. “So as your newest friend... I have to let you know; I’m a phone call away if you need anything. Even if it’s just to give your purple rhino a name.”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll need help with that. Thank you, Tobias. Thanks for all you’ve done and for stopping by today.”

“You got it, kid,” he smiled, exiting her room as the nurse returned.

As he walked to the elevator, his thoughts were jumbled, but he hadn’t felt this at peace in some time. Casey MacTavish was now his friend. He knew she meant so much more to him, but he had no illusions... given all that had taken place between them, those dreams would never come to be. But she didn’t toss him away; he’d still get to care for her, to hear her laugh, and his name would be on her lips without a curse preceding it. Casey was his friend. The elevator door opened, and he stepped inside with a smile. Life doesn’t have perfect endings, but sometimes, it’s good enough. And right now, he was grateful for the new chapter that was beginning.

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @choicesmonthlychallenge - National Friendship Day - let's go with that :)