#so i never order stuff bc i won't get it anyways. but i usually can't even if i want to because

[torchickentacos]

REALLY want to legit learn how to sew. I can't just buy myself things for various reasons, so I'm always looking at, like, how to make dinner with random shit around the house, how to alter clothes since they WILL fit differently from 2013 (because I only own old things and hand me downs), how to repair things at home, and I really just want to have things I like to wear without resorting to fast fashion or even shipping stuff to my friends and picking it up that way. I bought one jacket off of amazon as my, like, single purchase of the last five months and I feel really bad about it (which is silly and I know it, but alas), and I just really want to be able to sew actual garments on my own. Do I need another hobby right now? Not really but we'll see.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

for you wip Wednesday posts, do you just post as you write? like are the parts all continuous or is there parts between that you don’t post? (sorry if this is dumb, I’m just curious how you do yours:))

okay so (get ready for a long winded explanation of how my writing works sorry in advance)

for wipw, i have sort of a basic outline for plot points and stuff. i know roughly how each of the stories go and how they end. that being said, i have two docs (or more) per au. one with the outline and the other is the draft i'm posting for you guys. like here's the actual docs in my bookmarks (ignore my joke titles okay)

(ID: a screenshot of my Firefox, with a folder of bookmarks showing.)

cutting here because sweet lord this got long

as you can see i've got all my wipw docs in a bookmark folder so i can find them easily. DIH, BB, OG, 🦊, and 🦊WIPW are all writing folders. DIH is a long fic for another fandom. BB stands for 'big bang' and is for all my 'cosmic lost and found' stuff. OG is my ocs stuff :). Fox is anything aftg-related that isn't for wipw. and finally wipw is... wipw.

ALSO 'strips and tags' is the doc where i keep my little 'headings' for wipw posts as well as the tags so i don't have to type that shit everytime! (ex: 'WIP Wednesday (10/25) | Guardian Angel Neil (Part --)'

anyway! i write on them and cut them into chunks for wipw. the size of the 'chunk' each ask gets depends on how well the story flows and if it's a good stopping point. so sometimes it's just a couple paragraphs and sometimes it's almost a full fucking page because i couldn't decide where to chop it?

also usually i like to work a bit ahead so i'm not starting with nothing the next week. so when i don't and i get a lot for a certain au it stresses me out bc i don't know where we're going and i have to come up with it on the fly so i can answer asks??

this is also why i write in order and i could never write bits and pieces here and there all over the timeline like Ash does. it would Stress Me Out sooo bad lol

to answer the actual question: yeah.

for the most part, it's mostly how the final draft will be. but in the final i'll probably flesh out certain bits to make it make sense. like we just Jump into the scene a lot in wipw posts and it makes sense for wipw posts. but it wouldn't in an actual longfic on ao3? you know?

also in angel neil, some of the events are out of order. i never expected people to care about it so much so originally it was gonna be a lotttt shorter so andrew talks to betsy about it right away. i think in the Finished Fic (whenever that will be) he won't mention neil to betsy for a while?? but idk for sure we still have a long ass way to go.

thanks for asking this i'm sorry if you didn't want to read my life story but i don't have anyone to talk about writing with really and also i'm insane and can't just say yes/no i have to EXPLAIN

[nihilight]

i haven't been remembering my dreams for about 2 years. even more rare is when i have the epic -- be it good dream or nightmare -- Whole Sleep Dream. the kind where, even hours after you wake up, you remember EVERYTHING.

last night i had both, & it went a little something like this:

CW: animal death, SA.

your usual apocalytic setting. the weather was frightening & gorgeous. the sky was a juxtaposition of sunlight & storm. snow came. falling ice shards. so much snow & sunlight; it can't possibly be so hot & cold at once, but it is.

my house is some hybrid of my house, my mom's house, and the basement of shy's grandfather's house, where we lived briefly in 1996 in a moldy, spider & ant infested room, with an even worse bathroom on the other side of the basement.

keith is keith, but keith doesn't look like keith? it's a male, same approx build, but i never see his face, either because of a face shield/ski mask/scarves, etc. the voice isn't right either.

people are frantic. the snow is piling up & the hot hot sun won't melt it. planes in the air are crashing, falling. news can't keep up, but towers that carry signals are exploding by the second, all over the word, so we're all on our own.

i'm trying to figure out how to get shy, J, & my mom back to our house. keith tells me to start reinforcing windows & get the girls food, needs, 1st aid stuff, basic food, water, & everything gathered. we decide given the pace & direction of the weather that our bedroom will be our hole up spot.

we are a solidified unit, a team. we got this.

i do this, he takes the blazer to fetch the family, chilly, ruby.

<i wake up here. i turn over, push mina a little, readjust, go back to sleep.>

4 hours later, keith returns. they only live like maybe 2 or 3 miles away, and it took 4 hours. by now, there are a few more people in our house bc i can't say no. people who i let in, had something to contribute: food, radios, flashlights, water, blankets, etc.

i go into hyperfixation mode & get everyone organized with a little spot, that still leaves room to quickly move around, etc.

it takes forever to get the door back open against the snow & ice over it, that the sun is somehow still not melting. (yet how did i get people in? idk, dream logic) vehicles are smashed & on fire here & there but it isn't melting anything either.

as we're getting everyone in, some monster truck comes flying through out of control, having hit an iceblock in the road. it smashes into our blazer. 'fucking hell,' keith says, & then magically sparrow is there, runs out frantically bc she's confused, & gets hit by another car flying through.

i lose my shit. keith says to stop being emotional because there isn't time for that. i feel my heart both shatter & flare with anger at those words. i say nothing, & help get everyone inside as 2 more planes crash in the air, & pieces fall down.

<i wake up here, cold sweat. i spend a few minutes petting mina with my face in her flank. mina rumbles, does big comfy breathing sighs. i fall back asleep>

chaos at hume home across the street. half the building is smashed from airplane parts. 'can you come cook a few meals to get us through a couple days? we'll send you home with a few huge cans of veggies, milk, cooler boxes...' (we don't have cooler boxes IRL, but sure.)

it takes me about 25 minutes to get over there (2 mins IRL), over all the ice chunks, busted cars, bodies, airplane parts. i do the cooking, they tell me cleanup doesn't matter but i do it anyway (???), and then i work on making the trek back home.

i see keith talking to the dude with the monster truck who hit our blazer. i call out for help dragging these cooler boxes full of shit, but they both just look at me. 'you've been doing kettlebells,' says monster truck driver, looking me up and down, creepy. 'you can handle it. it'll keep you warmed up.'

'for what?' i ask. i need to know what's coming. i need order. i need... something, here, bc so far i've been doing a damn good job at not losing my shit, especially with sparrows body getting covered up by ice that the sun won't melt, 15 feet away in the street.

they don't answer. when i get to our driveway, keith grabs the boxes, says thanks, kisses my forehead and adjusts my hat and scarf, then gets inside. confused, i go to follow him, but monster truck guy grabs my arm.

'just be quick,' keith says to monster truck guy, then goes inside and shuts the door.

s*x traded for the truck.

'it was you or your kid, i mean... it's a monster fucking TRUCK!'

so, that happens. on a jagged pile of snow & ice that the sun won't seem to melt.

when i get all my layers put back on, wipe my nose, ignore all the cold/hot cuts on my back, & get inside, i start to cry.

"you have to stop being so emotional about this," my mom says, tiredly, from a couch in my living room that's purple now, instead of brown. part of me is frantically trying to point this out to another part of me (forcing lucid dreaming--it's a long explanation), or look for my hands, or something. 'everything's different now, we have to make sacrifices.'

shy & i's eyes meet from across the room. 'wake up,' they said.

there's a pounding at the front door, & someone yelling that i need to get back to work. the sound of collision, an inward sucking of air that pulls everything into silence, & then a crash as more airplane parts drop on the front porch section of the house.

shy's at my elbow now, their little hands curled around my bicep. 'wake up,' they said again.

i woke up, and it was 8.45a, mina was curled against me. i exhaled. i started to just sob, hard, for maybe ... idk, 20 seconds?

but i stopped, bc i was ✨ being emotional ✨ & now i'm just angry & feeling sad.

i guess the gist here is that something in me is damn sick and tired of being pegged as emotional, crazy, or bitchy, when things keep changing with no pre-amble or slight explanation, i get pushed, or etc, & even more sick & tired of having to explain why to save face. i feel like i'm being gaslit & brain-r*ped when people do it.

yeah, i see you out there, i heard what you said, with your MA in psychology. it sure does seem like i'm using my NDs as an "excuse," doesn't it? it's because i fucking have to keep explaining why.

but i'm done! :) i've cared too much about people liking me, or being the one that people DON'T have to whisper about. well, whisper away... cause i can't be myself happily when juxtaposed with having to embarrassingly explain myself too. i'm turning 40-fucking-5 tomorrow. i'm halfway to 90.

i literally don't have it in me to care about people outside my circle anymore, if they aren't even going to take 10 seconds to try to understand someone outside their norm.

& also when the world ends? i hope it's that fucking gorgeous.

[pharaohbean]

the smoothie king delivery saga

trust me, this one is a wild one

so, for the season of lent (:dabs:) and bc i need to lose weight i am on a liquid fast, which basically means nothing except drinks, smoothies, and soups (which usually just get blended anyways lol)

so here i am, trying to order a smoothie from smoothie king (bc i love their angel food smoothie and ive been craving it for a while). its roughly 4pm, and im just trying to get it to my friend's house (where we're playing dnd) by like 6pm, when food is slated to arrive. so, like any normal person, i go to the smoothie king website. go to a store near me, start ordering online.

the entire time im like, "do they actually have delivery? ive never seen them do delivery" so im dubious. i go through the menu and--

can't process. okay. go to another store nearby. find smoothie, add to cart--

can't process. okay. fine. so smoothie king doesn't want me to order through their menu. google tells me i can order through doordash, and as fellow dasher i am Biased.

go through ALL of the doordash stuff (because i dont have a doordash account soooo): find location, add to cart, go through payment (tip really well so someone actually takes the order because Gas Prices Are Terrible). wait around for a while bc its like 30min delay from order placement to delivery.

food is being eaten early. okay. place order NOW--

.......cannot process payment....

doordash. cannot process my order. because SMOOTHIE KING. WON'T DELIVER AT ALL!

so after screaming into the void for a minute (read: screaming to bee and blu who are also in the room because this saga has been going on for an HOUR now) i ordered from tropical smoothie cafe because i KNEW they delivered because IVE DELIVERED FROM THEM

their peanut butter+banana smoothie is good (hand + dnd reveal lol)

[evilwickedme]

Oh my god I'm so sorry for taking so long. At first I just didn't get around to it but then I got insanely busy and now here it is woo

Anyway so just for background in case y'all aren't familiar, earth 65's Gwen Stacy was introduced in the Spider-Verse event in 2014 and got her own comic, Radioactive Spider Gwen, in 2015. That run ended in 2018, and she promptly got a run called Spider Gwen: Ghost Spider that ran for ten issues and a follow up run called Ghost Spider that ended too soon imho. These two runs firmly established her new identity, and she stops using both Spider Woman and Spider Gwen as her hero names, adopting Ghost Spider, which is a fine name imo and works well with her arc. So for a couple of years we have no main title comics for Gwen, although she appears here and there in 616 comics as of the end of Ghost Spider she only operates in 616 due to Stuff. Read the comics they're great I won't be getting into that here.

So like I said, Gwen doesn't have a title after 2019, but then a miniseries is announced, starting summer 2022, starring my beloved Ghost Spider. It's called Spider-Gwen: Gwen-Verse.

Wait, just a second, record scratch. Did I read that right? Spider-Gwen? I thought she'd been called Ghost Spider since 2018!

Oh well, maybe it's an artefact title, just meant to appeal to an audience that isn't familiar with her canon? Although like. That doesn't usually happen. Like Tim Drake isn't currently being referred to as Red Robin when he's operating as Robin just bc of recognizability (ignoring that fact that he should NOT be Robin anymore, but that's a different rant).

This is a minor problem, supposedly, but I think it's indicative of the problems inherent to the mini series as a whole, which is that Tim Seeley has no idea what the fuck he's talking about!!!!

Ghost Spider (2019) ends on this massive dramatic cliffhanger - that same aforementioned Stuff that prevents her from working in her own universe as a hero - and yet here there is no mention of any of that. Gwen is still going back and forth from 616, yeah, but there's no mention of her being unable to patrol her own universe at all. And then there's also the fact that this Gwen isn't anything like my Gwen at all. She's so out of character the entire time - in fact the entire plot hinges on it.

Like, okay, just a sec. I need to explain the idea behind gwenverse before I can explain why the entire plot hinges on Gwen being ooc. So the idea for gwenverse is that in the far far future there is an artist called Finale who wants to become, I shit you not, "the ultimate meme". In order to do this, Finale wants to copy herself across time. However, as she tries to copy herself, entirely coincidentally Gwen is crossing universes to go to college and boom suddenly she's the one being copied across the timeline and for some reason there is now a Thorgwen, Iron GWEN, Gwen Rogers, Gwen Howlett... Okay you get it. These versions of Gwen that have been copied into history have wreaked havoc on Earth 65 and its timeline, and now Gwen has to fix this shit.

The main theme of the narrative is that every version of Gwen spread throughout history has an aspect of Gwen that makes up most of her personality, and that in order to fix the timeline Gwen has to not only gather all the Gwens but also learn to love herself and correct her mistake. But there is so much wrong with this!!!!

Firstly WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THIS NARRATIVE OF SELF ACCEPTANCE CAUSED ON ACCIDENT!!! If Gwen had SNEEZED before entering the portal none of this would have happened!!! Narratives that involve accepting your flaws should, always, every time, be caused by your flaws, you can't fucking change my mind. Gwen's self acceptance plot is entirely pulled out of Tim Seeley's ass. Not only is it not thematically coherent since it's accidental, he invents entirely new insecurities for Gwen that have NEVER been seen before in eight years of publication. Gwen HAS insecurities - that she won't always do the right thing, that she's not strong enough, that she's not a good friend. But she doesn't like, struggle with self love, or have anger issues, or any of the bullshit Tim Seeley pulled in this series.

Tim had a vague idea of what Teenage Girls™ Are Insecure About, and he had a vague recollection of the Wikipedia entry for Spider-Gwen, and he wrote a shitty story that had no thematic consistency or narrative appeal - it didn't make sense as a continuation of Gwen's character, and it completely ignored her previous plot and character development. It feels like whatever the opposite of fanfiction is - taking a character you have no respect or enjoyment of and writing for them because it's your job.

It's a waste of everyone's time, effort, and frankly, I could've written something better in high school.

Fuck Tim Seeley and screw gwenverse Gwen deserves better

Just saw somebody genuinely recommend the gwenverse series and I realized I'm not sure I ever explained here why I hate it so much, so... Is there an interest in reading me tearing it to shreds?

[girltomboy]

1. at first i wondered if our connection was just random or if there was something deeper about it, but i decided not to overthink it but this was super cute and i def think (and very much hope) we have the potential to reach our best selves together

2. I! ALWAYS! SEEM! TO! CONFUSE! HIM! and he often calls me unpredictable and strange but that's on him! i actually am aware that sometimes i take him by surprise, sometimes i even surprise myself, but for the most part i'm pretty predictable, especially when it comes to usual, mundane, everyday stuff. on the occasions when i actually am unpredictable it's either firecracker reactions to being pissed off, or like... random spontaneous stuff for the fuck and the fun of it. pattern be on some real shit with "instead of being intrigued and appreciative" 😔 you right pattern i lack the appreciation i deserve

3. another hit: being together DOES feel incredible. he brings me comfort but at the same time gets me excited and brings out my child-like curiosity and energy - it's VERY rare that i want to be around someone for so long like i want to be with him, sometimes i can't get enough of his presence like that tweet said i wanna live in my bf's balls like a spermaid BRUH ppl be making fun of it but it rly be just like that. and i know he feels the same way cuz he's always even more excited to hang out than i am. there were times when he was texting me let's go out and i was like come OOONNNN i wanted to have the day to myself or some shit (obvs i never said that to him i always agreed to go out lmao what i wouldn't GIVE to hang out w him rn and do absolutely fuck all be bored the fuck out my fucking brains but TOGETHER 😭) and even if we did nothing we never had any plans or concrete destination it's always "adventure time" with him and we always end up having a good time just in each other's presence

4. WORD cuz i do be feeling more confident with him i feel comfortable to get out of my shell and it's such a rare feeling for me to be wanted and desired by someone the way he does it. and it's different cuz i know i was desired before, but his way of wanting and desiring is so subtle and gentle and respectful

5. IT DO BE LIKE THAT the first time i got mad at him was bc he did an important thing without me when i thought i had made it SUPER. CLEAR. to him that i wanted us to do it together. like, i had specifically restrained from it in order to do it with him and he just did it by himself. idk what kinda fucked up test that was. idk what he was hoping to accomplish with it. but it's true that i'm the equality driven one, my mars is in libra and his is in CAPRICORN and it fuckin shows.

6. idk what to say about this. i do hope it's not true, i wish he could tell me things. he never tells me shit, i have to pry it out of him and it makes me feel like shit tbh because i'm a private person and i respect other people's privacy as well but like when you're in a relationship it's sort of expected of you to share your struggles and your negative emotions. like you HAVE to let me carry some of that negativity on my own shoulders it's what we DO. and i joke around too much and maybe accidentally hurt him sometimes... hopefully it's not the case but it's just something i've noticed, that he tends to take my jokes to heart SOMETIMES and this is why i have to always include a disclaimer I'M JUST KIDDING BTW JUST JOKING AROUND JUST PLAYING. anyway... the last part kinda made me melt. reminded me of the quote from i forgot what book or something... i suppose you love me in your own way/ of course i love you in my own way, i don't know any other way. it's all just a matter of figuring out what is our "way" and accepting it as it is. deciphering it and receiving it without trying to mold it trying to make it fit into our own idea of loving.

7. oh boy this one made me LOL did we FUCKING meet in an unconventional way... i suppose the way we met per se wasn't exactly unconventional, we were just in the same group of friends, but the way we ended up being something more than just friends in the same group of friends was pretty out of the ordinary. so maybe it wasn't so random and out of the blue (lol... blue) after all! HUH

8. our connection really IS full of surprises. and i suppose it's true he doesn't get to express himself in his usual way around me - with others he tends to bend the truth just for entertainment. with me it doesn't work, not only because i won't take any of it and we've had several discussions on this topic, but also because i can always smell when he's being dishonest, and my seriousness completely kills the conversation. like you wanted lies for fun, now we not gonna talk about anything. now we not gonna have any kind of fun, not with lies nor with non-lies. here you go, the fun you ordered sir. what is it? OH no, it's fucking dead. you killed all the possible and existent fun by lying. i hope it was worth it. lmao. i'm not that dramatic. but i just go quiet and look at him a certain way and he changes the subject. Thx!