#so i need to subject everyone else to that too

[luckykiwiii101]

😭😭😭 I ENTERED THE VOID STATE AND IT'S LITERALLY CHANGED MY WHOLE VOCAL CORDS!!! Like, WHOA. 😱 You guys don't even understand. Before all of this, I was a mess. Lemme tell you the full tea.

So like, I used to cry at night, scrolling through Tumblr, seeing everyone else manifesting their dream lives while I was stuck in the same old cycle. 😩 You KNOW the feeling! I even DELETED my Tumblr at one point because I was SO sick of seeing everyone else actually living their dreams, but then I would redownload it like the next day because I couldn't resist!! And then...the whole studying-for-exams thing? LOL don't even get me started. Like, I'd be like "I'll just enter the void state before my exams and manifest straight A's or whatever" (spoiler alert: I didn't.) I'm never really failed any subjects. At least not badly😬

I was starting to get frustrated, right? So then, one day, I was like OKAY, FINE. TIME TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING. And that's when I started SATS (State Akin To Sleep). It sounded crazy at first, but honestly, I was down to try anything! (Even while coping with my MADD. Yes I'm one of them. No I'm never getting rid of it.) So I started visualizing my dream life, and LET ME TELL YOU, I GOT SO DETAILED. I was in Velaris with Rhysand (I'm an ACOTAR fan), feeling his WINGS!!! I was literally touching them and just imagining how amazing it would feel to be surrounded by magic and beauty. And I wasn't even thinking about entering the void or anything. I was just feeling the vibezzz. Like, I know that it felt real, and that's what mattered.

Fast forward to a month and 3 weeks of doing SATS (Yes, I skipped some days, but WHO CARES? 😤). And guess what happened? I woke up today, and BOOM! I was in the void! Like, I didn’t even need to know how it happened, it just DID. I just said "Anything i say comes true exactly the way I want it." I said it over and over and over. Until I decided it was enough. Then I thought of leaving, and I was back in my room. Thank goodness I didn't think of leaving when I first entered, because this was literally like a lifetime opportunity I couldn't screw it up.

I actually had to safeguard myself, by saying "I am not impulsive". And the urge to say nonsense just disappeared ✨ That was the first thing I said when I woke up. So I wouldn't say any crazy shit. And so I was sitting there, ready to just start manifesting everything I ever wanted. I even started writing my script. maybe that was just an adrenaline rush.

But here’s the thing...GUYS, NOW THAT I’M HERE....in my room with this "ability"...I’m actually kinda missing my old self. Not the sad, desperate me, but the me who was SUPER EXCITED about just wandering around Velaris at night and dreaming of all this happening. Like, I actually miss that excitement. Looking through Pinterest and seeing the interior of a mansion, and be like "I'll be there soon", seeing pics of tasty food on instagram and saying "I'll eat that soon" I know it sounds crazy, but when you finally get everything you thought you wanted, it’s like...IDK...a little too perfect? 😬

Like, I know this sounds wild— and weird, but it’s TRUE. It's true for me right now. I'm gonna be blunt. The success story is not as exciting when you’re like actually living it, you know? Or maybe it's just me. Like, I’m just over here typing this at 4 AM, feeling kinda melancholic. And kinda (scared). Yes, I wanna enjoy my desires, but... I don't know. I don't want to get too curious and stray from Velaris trying to find out the secret behind ALL of this. For goodness sake, this is crazy!!! My voice is a genie!. It's already bugging me now. I know, I KNOW, this is probably not what you expected from a success story, but I’m being REAL.

I’ve written like 3 pages of my script so far, and I’m just gonna finish it tomorrow. No rush. Because honestly? Rhysand’s not going anywhere. 😉

And YOU can do this too. I know some of you might feel like “Oh, it’s impossible, I keep failing!” but like, just take a second and realize YOU'RE ALREADY GETTING CLOSER THAN YOU THINK. I was stuck too, and look where I am now. Don't look at the part where— I'm kinda ungrateful. But the part where I'm finally gonna meet Rhysand. YOU’RE SO CLOSE. It’s all coming together, trust me! 💖✨

But yeah, it’s 4 AM, I’m gonna go back to bed now, lol. Don’t let the void stress you out, okay? Take it easy. You’ve got this. ✨✌🏼

Also, love you kiwiii💖💖💖💖

SUCCESS STORY

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

First of all, I’m so happy for you and proud of you. You really put your foot down and gave yourself what you wanted.

I can understand what you mean when you say the success story isn’t exciting when you’re actually living it. But when it’s right in-front of you, it doesn’t feel like this out of reach thing you’ve put on a pedestal anymore. It’s just yours. And it feels normal.

But for some people, I think a big part of that came from the dopamine rush people would feel when they’d tell themselves that they’ll have it one day. And when they have it in the 3D, they just feel peaceful with it because there’s nothing to “chase” anymore.

I agree with most of what you said apart from “you’re so close”. With the law of assumption there is no process. You ARE the void. Anyway enjoy having your desires. I’m really happy for you!!😭 Love you too beautiful ♥️

[garrettwrites]

Also, might I add that there's plenty of scientific and academic papers available online. For free. In some websites you get 100 papers per account, or x amount per day, but free nonetheless. I abused those during university (and I'm not from the USA, I'm Portuguese). You can check the papers' sources for more refs and books on your subjects of choice. And before you moan about the language being too difficult, you can work your way up towards more academic language by reading papers geared towards teenagers or the general public. English is not my native tongue, nor the one I'm fluent in when it comes to academic language, yet I manage to do it just fine.

It is so easy to get information nowadays. Fuck, if you don't know where to start, check the listed sources on wikipedia articles and go from there, I'm sure those resources will be available online or *gasp* at the library.

It's okay for you not to have learned X in school and, afterwards, never having felt the need to pursue the knowledge. But if you want to be ignorant, don't blame your access to resources. People in the USA have it so fucking easy compared to everyone else, starting with the fact most shit in the world is already translated to english.

And if YOU are an american who actually goes out and does research and uses libraries and online archives... I'm sorry you get called elitist for using free resources. My best wishes to you. Hope you manage to get your friends to join in and spread the word.

ever since i got access to american library cards thanks to tumblr user anneemay (pbuh) 2 weeks ago ive lost even the 3% sympathy i had for americans crying ofc we’re stupid and illiterate our schools suck!!! because you assholes have had FREE ACCESS to THOUSANDS of books and audiobooks and classic films this ENTIRE TIME you’ve been blaming your schools for your elected ignorance!!! from my home in India I’ve listened to eight audiobooks and watched half of cronenberg’s oevre and I’m watching nosferatu (1922) today and I can’t even go to a library in person and you people have had these things your entire life yet you come on tumblr at 18 19 20 and say you don’t know who james baldwin is and if you expect me to you’re classist and 18 year old Americans are too stupid to know bombing foreign countries kills people so it’s okay if they choose to do that rather than work at McDonald’s and of course I have no idea what stocks are or what colonialism is and MCU is the height of cinema and it’s feminist to wear makeup like. my god. you people are going to go through the rest of your life being incoherently stupid and it’s not because you’re poor and it’s not because your schools suck but its because you’re so ensconced in your American privilege that you will never be forced to confront the realities of life and you can go on living your Disney adult fantasies because you’ve destroyed your innate human curiosity and potential at the altar of hyper consumption.

[yinwaryuri]

Random QL Superlatives 2024

Got tagged by @baseballmomlesbiandad and yeah, I definitely have been wanting to do one of these, so let's do it before the year is out!

There were so many shows that happened this year, I literally had to make a list by scrolling through mass post editor to see what I had watched. I cannot keep time straight (or my watching habits lol)

Favorite New BL Pairing

TopMick

I think several people can agree with me, they swooped into this last quarter totally unknown and Every You, Every Me stole all of our hearts. As SunDol, PinFirst, XNamping, BlueSian, and PunInn???? All of those???? And both of them dealt with different flavors of queer men (and gender expression) so well. I would gladly be a third for XNamping or BlueSian in the fic of my dreams - I was drooling over each of them (BlueSian, you horny bitches, you made me feral like nothing else 🥵🫣). Namping especially, baby, you live in my heart forever. Honorable mention to Fiat Patchata, boy I've missed you! The Gifted lover in me will always miss my son Korn and Fiat was fantastic as him, and I loved seeing his characters here too.

Fave Guy Who Was In Everything

Title Kirati

I only watched Wandee Goodday, Kidnap The Series, and Pluto The Series with him in it, but he also was in We Are, Ploy's Yearbook, and Perfect 10 Liners. His 2024 schedule was booked! And for good reason. He's showing a fair amount of versatility and I have enjoyed every character he's gotten to play so far. I chose Blue to show though, because as someone on the ace spectrum, his character being an understanding partner to an asexual character meant so much to me. Plakao deserved it, and we were not disappointed.

Top-tier Crossdressing

P'Jessy/Jessie

The MomentTM, Miss Thang, Star of the Year, my pookie, sweetheart #1!!!!!!!!! We need her back. Just one chance???? I am blushing and giggling so hard as I write this asdlfkjclbndfldkfsdljd 🥰❤️💕😘😍💞💖💘

Most Comforting Watches

1000 Years Old/Monster Next Door

WeTV really put out some of the cutest couples (Caged Again is getting everyone on board hehe) and both PunYoh and GodDiew are so special to me. Let's give it up for the weakest vampire Pun and his collection of umbrellas, and his enduring love for Yoh, a silly boy obsessed with aliens. Big win for autism. Meanwhile, we have one of the sweetest romances by way of God and Diew learning how to communicate with each other and enjoy who the other person is despite vast differences in their personalities. Save that turtle though.

Best to Worst Grandma Awards

Jack's Ama - Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart/ Ai-Oon and Oab-Oom's Yaai - Pluto The Series

Ama - I wish she'd adopt me. She is so understanding, hard-working, patient, supportive, and badass. A few months with her and my life would be sorted. And I'd do anything for her in return.

Yaai - Waste of a caretaker. It took me so long to even find a gif. I'm sending you back to the Laws of Attraction universe where you support your puppy dog grandson and his insane lawyer boyfriend, and play dress-up with Silvy Pavida Maya.

Gift Show of the Year

Meet You At The Blossom

UNCENSORED CHINESE BL IS OFFICIALLY IN!!!!! Boy was this whole thing fun. The hype beforehand, seeing the censors attempt to make it flop and getting the opposite effect, and getting one of the most unhinged shows for our viewing pleasure. Mercenary malewife x jingle bells for braincells, collarbones and torture, aphrodisiac sex, toxic yaoi, murder and betrayal, several kisses, and a happy ending!!!!! Sign me the fuck up a million times. Personal thanks to @guzhufuren for doing all the PR, where is your paycheck?

Unexpected Topic of the Year: Euthanasia

Spare Me Your Mercy/Every You, Every Me (implied)

I'm not here to really discuss the subject itself or which show did a better job with it, especially since Every You, Every Me left that factor up to interpretation (I'm including it anyway, even if it wasn't intended). What I appreciated in both shows was the empathy they showed toward the people whose conditions toward the end of their lives left them wanting to choose for themselves how things would end, and they showed loved ones around them supporting their decisions. I'm not an older queer who was around for most things regarding the HIV/AIDS pandemic, but the use of queer characters for these stories does hit a particular chord in regards to how important respecting the choices of the dying and their supporting circle should be.

Lookalikes?

Toh - Secret Crush On You/Kluer - This Love Has No Long Beans

Seng and Aon should do a show together as brothers. I am constantly on my actors-who-should-play-brothers agenda (ask @thisautistic), and they're on it. I could've added a lot more here, but I'm currently watching Secret Crush On You for the first time and immediately went 🫵 when I saw Toh. Also both of these boys are so precious to me.

Prettiest Mindfuck

Uranus 2324

I waited to receive this film for months and months and months after it was announced and then released and boy did I RECEIVE. FreenBecky really get to show off their chops in this. I loved how it straddled the line between sci-fi and psychological thriller on top of the sapphic romance. Kath and Lin are both fantastic characters in every single storyline. I especially enjoyed the part where they have guns with a bonus of Lin getting a knife. When do they get their action gl?

My wishes for 2025 in no particular order:

GIVE MEN MORE LONG HAIR. Namping and Sian were fantastic, Top Piyawat really gave us so much. I also found out that Sailub Hemmawich used to have long hair and I am so upset it's short now!!!!

More butches in GLs. Short-haired ones even. Jeab Lalana, thank you for existing; I am so excited for 3 Minutes 2 Love.

Give Papang a lead BL role! I'm going to apologize to all the PapangPodd girlies now, while it's great that they're a secondary couple, I just wanna finish the business he had with Pepper Phanuroj in Dangerous Romance. Pepper deserves a lead BL role as well! I'm excited with whatever is going on between him and JJ Chayakorn in The Heart Killers, and hell JJ can join Papang and Pepper. If GMMTV can come through on more polyamory like they're hinting at in Pluto, then we should have this. PapangPepperJJ 2025? Wow. I had some opinions there.

On that note, more polyamory in general

Boun's vampire show???? Is it still happening????? Pretty please????? Also can they get Boss Chaikamon to stay in it somehow? 🥺

All the Chinese QLs. Drown me in them until they absolutely take over my life

In my wildest dreams Oreo Puwanai gets out from Wabi Sabi and joins Yacht at GMMTV so we get the WaanTul story continuation I need desperately

I know everyone is saying this but: COOHEART ADULT ROLE 2025!!!!!! POR FAVOOORRRRR. DÁLE UN PROYECTO ADULTO 😤

Get my man Peter Knight back on my screen. Just wave a scene of him being a dj at a bar or something to get him interested, idc

Dancer BL! Like I previously mentioned in a post about Fiat, we have enough dancer boys to put in the bracket for this!

If I already mentioned you, considered yourself tagged (if you wanna). Also tagging: @sunshinesanctuary @loveable-sea-lemon @firstkant @writerwithoutsound @shubaka @benkaben @scarefox @dommingjeffsatur @chaotic-aro-incarnate @poetry-protest-pornography

[sarastellasari]

New Years Kiss (Part Three)

part one, part two!

ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂

“We have a problem! I repeat, we have a problem.” Xander whispered frantically over his phone to Nash. 

“They are headed back to the party! They broke the window!” There was a moment's pause on the other end before Nash said,

“I’m sorry what?” 

“They broke the window and climbed out,” Xander repeated. They’re walking towards you now.” 

“Grayson broke the window?” 

“Well Lyra did but-“ 

“So what do we do now?” Jameson interrupted. It sounded like he had grabbed Nash’s phone from him. 

“That obviously didn’t work.” Xander shrugged, before realizing neither of his brothers could see him.

“I can’t believe we didn't think of the windows.” Jameson sighed. 

“It's an easy mistake,” Nash comforted him. 

“I guess, but what do we do now?”

“Well,” Xander began, laughing nervously. “Grayson is obviously going to be super mad so-” Nash suddenly swore on the other end. 

“Xan, he's coming this way. Text us, ok? We gotta go.” and then Nash hung up. Xander got up and started to pace. What can we do? He thought, running his hands through his hair. Eventually, he shook his head in annoyance. He knew what they had to do. He pulled out his phone and texted his brothers;

I think we need to let Grayson handle this by himself.

ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂

Lyra wasn’t sure if she regretted coming to the party or not. She had been having fun, right up until she had been locked in a room with Grayson. But she had to admit.., part of her was curious as to what would happen if she had stayed in the room instead of breaking the window.

What could his brothers have wanted us to do? She wondered. Surely it couldn’t be that bad? But soon, she forgot all about the events in the library. Avery announced over the loudspeakers that it was time for “whole group activities”. Instructed everyone to come to the center of the courtyard. Lyra ended up between Thea, who seemed startled at her presence, and an extremely cheerful girl, who introduced herself as Avery’s best friend, Max.

“The first game!” Avery shouted, “Is Hawthorne hide- and seek.” There were equally cheers and groans from the audience. Lyra frowned in confusion, but luckily, Avery explained the rules. 

“We’re doing this in dresses?” She asked Max, bewildered. Max grinned. “Yep!” 

And so the game began.

At some point, Lyra found herself hiding with Grayson behind a statue, the two of them pressed against each other, breathless with laughter. Lyra tried to tell herself she was just flushed from the cold and not from her proximity to her.

The night went on and on, with them playing many games, until eventually it was 11:45, and Avery had declared that people could do whatever they wanted to prepare for the countdown. Lyra found herself beside Grayson again, seated on some chairs by some crumbling Roman statue of some emperor with a party hat on. 

“Well.” Lyra sighed. “Are you excited for the new year?” Grayson shrugged. 

“I suppose. You?” Lyra nodded.  “What did you think of the party?” 

“It was great! Aside from the whole being locked in a room thing.” Grayson nodded. Suddenly, he swallowed before leaning forward.

“Have you ever had A New Year's kiss, Lyra?” Lyras flushed, wondering what the random subject change was about. “Sorry, what?” 

“Have you ever had a New Year's kiss?” Grayson repeated. Lyra shook her head. Grayson nodded, seemingly accepting her answer. 

“Do you want to?” Lyra’s eyes widened at his forwardness. 

“What?” Grayson sighed.

“I guess… My brothers have been trying to get me to find someone to kiss tonight. I said i didnt want to, but… a part of me is curious.” Lyra hesitated, before shrugging. 

“Sure.” “Really?” “Yeah, why not? I want to know what it feels like too, I guess.” Grayson nodded, opening his mouth, but before he could say anything else, Avery's voice boomed over the loudspeakers.   

“Ok, guys! Thirty seconds! I hope you all have your kissing partners!” Lyra smirked at Grayson.

“We should stand.” She whispered. “Makes it more romantic.  Grayson nodded. They stood.

“Ten!” Avery shouted. Grayson took in a deep breath.

“Nine!” Lyra took a deep breath.

“Eight!” Grayson moved closer

“Seven!” Lyra ignored every thought in her telling her that she was betraying her father. A Hawthorne did this. But maybe she could leave that all in the past. New Year, new beginnings, right?

“Six!” Grayson's hands carefully went to her waist.

“Five!” Lyra grabbed his shoulders.

“Four!” Their body’s we’re almost pressed against each other

“Three!” Lyra stared at those icy blue eyes, trying to decipher the thoughts inside of them.

“Two!” Their lips were almost touching.

“One!” They kissed.

“Happy New Year!” Fireworks went off, both literal and metaphorical. It was everything Lyra wanted and more. It started soft and gentle, Grayson gently pressing his lips to hers, until Lyra got bored. It was New Year after all, and she wanted to have fun. She didn't care if it was improper for a first kiss. She surged forward, running her tongue along the seam of her lips, asking for permission to enter his mouth. He let her, their tongues fighting for dominance. Lyra stood on her toes to get a better angle, their noses brushing. They were both panting. It was more intense than anything else Lyra had ever felt. Finally, they both had to come up for air.

“That was- wow,” Lyra said at last. Grayson nodded in agreement, swallowing.

“Would you… want to do that again?” He asked hesitantly.

Lyra pulled him back in instead of responding.

ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂ੈ✩‧₊˚🥂

Part one, part two!

[lastthroes]

Tales of 20th Anniversary Encyclopedia 1995-2016: Edna

Edna

Gender: Female

Race: Seraphim

Height: 145cm

Weapon: Umbrella

I (pronoun): ワタシ (watashi)

Place of birth: Unknown [1]

True Name: Hephsin Yulind (Early-Bloomer Edna)

Voice Actress: Misato Fukuen

“An earth seraph who is quite vocal about her hatred of humans, never afraid of what others might think. Despite what her cutesy appearance might lead to believe, she carries quite a lot of years on her shoulders [2] and has amassed abundant wisdom. Her apathetic demeanor and sharp tongue tend to bewilder those around her because of that contrast.

Worried about her big brother Eizen, who became a dragon due to malevolence, Edna accepts to help Sorey under the small sliver of hope of finding some way to cure his condition. She doesn’t let it show but, in her heart of hearts, she has placed all her trust in Sorey and supports him in his hardships during his journey as the Shepherd.”

・ Dangling normin: A normin mascot can be seen hanging from her umbrella. It’s so spooky: it might start moving when nobody’s watching.

・ The guise of a small, cute girl: On her hair, arm, neck, legs, waist,... Everything’s covered with ribbons, making Edna look daintily and fashionable. Even the guardian of the earth shrine, the Shepherd Pawan, was completely enamored by her.

・ Normins: Normin seraphim are a type of small seraphim that help their fellow seraphim with their blessings, and many of them enjoy having relaxed and carefree lifestyles. Their leader Phoenix was once entrusted by Eizen with the task of guarding over Edna and now pretends to be a mascot, having not realized that Edna already knows he is an actual normin.

・ Together with her brother: Edna padded Eizen’s used boots so she could wear them. They might be apart, but deep down they will always be together.

The world that shines outside of her umbrella

“Held in my brother’s arms, I raised my eyes to the downpour of shooting stars. That was the one place where I was safe from all kinds of sadness and misfortune. A world only for me to have, where I did not need to worry about anything because he would protect me, a secret place no one else could break into. There, at the summit of the mountain, where if you stretched out your hand it felt as if you could even reach the sky, we kept within our hearts the scents that got carried to us by breezes from far-away lands.

Being left behind by my brother, who was always traveling around, made me feel really lonely. However, I managed to send him off on his way because I knew he would come back home safe and, once we met again, we could return to our normal days. Things such as adventures and challenges are only possible to find when you have already found the happiness that comes from having a place you truly belong to.

What kind of boons did my brother give to the humans? It’s impossible for me to know. What I do know is that my brother became a dragon because of the malevolence coming from those same humans. But there’s no place for holding grudges here: humans are self-centered creatures, after all. They think they only need themselves, and it’s only when it suits them that they turn to us seraphim so we run to their aid. And so, I decided that I’d look after my brother, who came back to me as the final stop of his journey. Staying by him I could at the very least stop him from committing any more sins.

Somewhere in my heart, I had already figured that you could not turn a seraph back to normal after they turned into a dragon, and that I would not find a cure anywhere in the world. However, that did not stop me from wishing my brother could find a salvation. As Sorey keeps quelling the malevolence in people’s hearts and saves them, I also start to realize what was it that my brother loved so much, retracing the path that his kind heart left behind.

This is not a fruitful journey: we are in the Age of Chaos, so it’s likely it will only reaffirm tears and despair. But even if it makes me more likely to abandon all my hopes rather than holding onto them, it doesn’t matter. Everytime that I find at the world’s edges a view from a legendary era that my brother’s eyes once lied onto, I burn the sight of this still living land into my eyes, etching it deep inside my mind as proof that my brother once lived.

And even if it means that I must bear to witness the very end of my brother’s life, I know I will be able to do it because he is still with me. When I close my eyes, I can picture the summit of Rayfalke. These large boots that my brother left me with help me step firmly on the land, and the feeling of those big arms he once wrapped me with stays with me, still protecting me.”

“Now then, take me with you. To the outside world”: As an answer to Sorey, who asked for her help as the Shepherd, Edna joins him in his journey and becomes his Sub Lord.

“Hey mister, Edna’s so lonely... She could use a big hug...”: Using her looks to her advantage, Edna begs the guardian of the earth shrine, the Shepherd Pawan, to grant them the power of the earth.

“Of those whose mere existence means human suffering, sometimes death can be a release”: Juxtaposing the image of her brother Eizen on Dezel’s loss, Edna speaks aloud her thoughts on seraphim and death.

“Hmph. How gallant of you. So that must be what makes you so...”: Edna’s chest feels tight as she watches Zaveid, who decided on killing his friends to save them.

1 TL Note This was answered by a Berseria Etc skit called “Matching Charms”, but this book was initially published before they came to exist.

2 TL Note Though her age might seem to be unknown too, we do have a confirmation that Edna is meant to be 1300 years old according to her voice actress during the 2015 Tales of Festival: around the 01:18:10 timestamp if you happen to own the BD version. An official text transcription of said recording does not exist.

Translator's disclaimer.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[tentacleplains]

more scenes that basically everyone sees but pointing out a specific detail i find interesting: "though i hope you don't cause a scene this time" does avery regularly cause scenes at parties?? lmao

[lunar-wandering]

head hurty

[bancaishi]

didn't want to put this rant in the tags of that last post but honestly i feel like a lot of people hate toshiro disproportionately compared to what he actually did in-story. and if we're being real it's most likely because of racism

[twpsyn-who]

Soulmates AU in which when your soulmate is in a situation that can result in their death you get to see through their eyes. Like, I don't know how to explain this- it kind of flashes between what you see and what your soulmate sees. You know those edits where there's a scene going on and there's another one faded in the background happening at the same time? Similar to that. The idea is that you get to see what your soulmate sees too, on top of what you're seeing.

Now, this AU but JeanMarco. With Marco asking the others where's Jean, just for him to start seeing a corpse right in front of his eyes not even a second after asking. Seeing through Jean's eyes as he's trying to get hold of that gear and stuff. And once Jean's safe, once it clicks that you know his best friend is his soulmate Marco can't wait for them to graduate so he can you know tell him that.

Then, you know. That happens. And Jean is so fucking confused because he keeps seeing Annie crying, looking down on him. Only when Annie starts getting off the gear, when his soulmate starts moving around trying to get away he starts panicking, starts moving around faster than before. And maybe he's too late. Or maybe he shows up in time and kills the titan. I don't know. That's not where I'm trying to get, but to the second option AKA Marco pulling an UNO reverse on Annie because he's a smart sneaky bastard like that and being like 'Hey you can't kill me, my soulmate will know it was you' which makes her stop trying to take off his gear. Reiner keeps telling her to do it, Bertholdt keeps yelling about that titan coming closer, but Annie... she has seen things, at some point. Flashes of moments that weren't hers, happening right in Trost- right in that moment. And she didn't give them too much thought until that moment, until it got confirmed that it has nothing to do with her titan powers.

'What do you mean by that?' she asks, because she needs to know more. Because she wants to know more. And Marco starts explaining how it works. Tells them that he has found his soulmate, that they will put all the blame on them for his death. Reiner doesn't believe him, keeps insisting that he's playing them around - he, and anyone born and raised on Marley, has never heard of something like that before, it doesn't exist - but Annie tells him to shut up and to let Marco go. Cue to the plot of any fic in which Marco doesn't straight up die after finding up their secret.

Anyway I don't know man, just,,, We need more soulmate aus for JeanMarco. That's an order.

[arsenicflame]

well i think its finally time to open this box

[mihai-florescu]

I need enstars to be over because i need to know what akira's plan for himeru is so so badly (cue eichi's quote about asking an author how they plan to end their tale is poor manners). I can imagine various ways in which id consider his arc completed but there are too many variables that can change...

[nuvomica]

Fam like this has zero hate in it but how is gender affirming surgery any different from the ones you hate? It's literally purging the parts of your body that you or society can't accept and it's kind of just as devastating and sad. I agree with you that people should do whatever they want with their body but also like it's kind of awful to see someone suffer so much that they have to go to surgical solutions.

This is why it's so interesting to me!! And this post is super rambly with no clear answer because I'm me and I'm learning all the time!!!!!!

Your opinion is yours, but it is super interesting that upon the topic of surgery, your mind goes to 'purging the parts you hate'. Gender affirming surgeries aren't always 'cosmetic', aren't always found through suffering. Who am I to draw lines and cast aspersions? To me, it feels like as much of a grey area as most debates are, especially as I try to stay aware of my own inherent biases vs my personal issues with gender and appearance.

For example, breast surgeries. Done to combat cancer. Reductions because of back pain. Reductions for convenience. Implants for gender affirmation (for trans and cis ppl). Implants because of previous medical reductions. Or literally any number of reasons.

At what level is it 'okay' to get something done, if in my opinion, there is a level of 'not okay' at all? 'Okay' being a loose term as it is, because I certainly don't mean morally, but as a point of, say, condemning societal pressures on people. It would be presumptuous of me to ever look at something someone does for themself and say, "well that's not okay."

Is convenience a medical reasons or a cosmetic reason? Or is it neither. Is it that there is not enough clothing and aid out there for someone who is inconvenienced by large breast size? Is it that there isn't any clothing that fits cutely, that t-shirts stretch, that lingerie doesn't come in that size? Or is it inconvenient enough that it either causes their back to ache if they're too active for too long or with chronic pain that doesn't ease at all?

What about those who get surgery on their tubes or uterus, not for 'medical' reasons, but for comfort? For taking control back? For (here it is again) convenience? For gender transitioning? How could I ever hate a surgery like that?

Meanwhile, in my personal view, seeing someone get a nose job for purely cosmetic reasons is sad to me. Why did they feel they have to do that? What sort of pressure have they face throughout their life to take them to that point? But what right do I have to judge? None, other than that I am a part of the same society that made them feel their nose was not acceptable. I do not have a broad, hooked, high bridged, or flat bridged nose, so what standing do I have to judge at all?

What about someone who loves plastic surgery as they love art? For whom body modification is a joy, or as I said before, is about control. Should I be pitying them? I don't, right up until they change something I personally view as 'sad' to change. Isn't that strange? Where did I find this moral high ground from which to look down and feel pity? What arbitrary measure have I developed for what parts of the body are 'sad' to alter?

I wouldn't go up to a stranger in public and say, "I'm so sorry you got your nose done." So why do I feel comfortable pitying the actress who had a face lift? (Rhetorical, I know the objectification of celebrities is a core reason here, but it serves my point).

It goes further. At what point is a surgery 'just' a body mod? Someone getting an ear piercing to combat headaches or allergies. Someone getting their ears or genitalia taken off so they just have a hole. Someone gets bottom surgery. Someone getting their earlobe pierced. Someone getting their eyebrows tattooed because theirs don't naturally suit their gender expression 'right'. Someone getting the name of a loved one on their arm. Someone getting laser hair removal. Someone getting their eyeball tattooed. Getting their incisors capped to points. Veneers. Tongue splits. Acrylic nails. My view is already biased by a Eurocentric upbringing and the conservative nature of my town, so.

With my own biases, I do feel a hate for buccal fat removal. I do feel a hate for cosmetic nose jobs. I do feel a hate for brow lifts. I do feel a hate for hair transplants. I won't deny that. You're right, I do feel shitty that gender is so ingrained in appearance and the value therein that trans ppl can feel so devastatingly unhappy about their own bodies. At the same time, I don't feel someone getting top or bottom surgery is 'wrong' in doing so, and I do not pity them.

Oh not to even bring up teeth. This debate starts all over again at teeth. Cosmetic, comfort, medical.

My original post and my continued thoughts are never a condemnation of the individual undergoing a surgery, only on the pressures of industry and society. It's my frustrations with sexism, racism, transphobia, and fatphobia.

Gender affirming surgeries happen all the time for cis people, including very invasive ones, and I just want to be extra aware of the hypocrisy and more intense scrutiny towards trans people getting similar surgeries, you know? Especially as someone who experiences dysmorphia but not gender dysphoria.

It just comes down to all these questions, and then further still down to personal philosophy. As is the case for most of my personal philosophies, I find it hard to make blanket statements set in stone, because there's always context. There's always further understanding to be gained, if not in my own, then in hearing of how others understand.

What right do I have to feel sad? To hate?

Where is the defining line between cosmetic, comfort, and medical, if there is one?

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

[gurorori]

im so so sad i wish i could be an adult

[passionfruitbowls]

gonna vent about twitter fandom stuff and leaks for a minute, don’t mind me