#so i much prefer to experience the zoo without taking pictures at every stop

[smoothieforhealth]

How the Green Smoothie Was Discovered

My husband, our two younger children and I have been on the raw food diet for more than eleven years. We were able to heal all of our incurable, life-threatening diseases. However, after several years of being raw, each one of us began to feel like we had reached a plateau where our healing process stopped and even somewhat began to go backwards. Since then a burning question in my heart grew stronger every day. The question was, "Is there anything missing in our diet?" The answer would come right away: "Nope. Nothing could be better than a raw food diet."

Yet, however tiny, the unwanted signs of less than perfect health kept surfacing, in minor but noticeable symptoms like a wart on a hand, a gray hair, etc. that instantly brought doubts and questions about the completeness of the raw food diet. Finally when my children complained about increased sensitivity in their teeth, I reached a state when I couldn't think about anything else. I drove everybody around me crazy with my constant discussion of what could possibly be missing.

In my eager quest, I started looking at every single food that exists for humans. As my grandmother used to say, 'Seek and ye shall find'. After many wrong guesses, I finally found the right one. Whew! I found one food group that particularly matches ALL human nutritional needs: greens. The truth is, we in my family were not eating enough greens. Moreover, we did not like them. We knew that greens are important, but we never heard anywhere exactly how much greens we need in our diet, just a vague recommendation to eat as much as possible.

In order to find out how much greens we need to eat, I decided to study the eating habits of chimpanzees, since they are the closest creatures to human beings. According to recent scientific research, they share 99.4 % of the same genes with humans.(1) I am not trying to say that humans developed from chimpanzees. I am simply grateful for the reality that there is another species in this world that closely resembles us. There are thousands of chimpanzees living in Gombe Valley, Africa. The most remarkable fact is that majority of those chimps of Gombe, as opposed to humans, have not been touched by civilization. I went online and purchased $300 worth of books and DVDs about chimpanzees and their diet and lifestyle. I wrote a letter with my questions to the Jane Goodall University. I traveled to three big zoos that have chimpanzees and spoke to many people who feed them and take care of them every day. I discovered so much fascinating information about chimpanzees that I totally changed my view of them. They became one of my favorite beings. My research gave me a solid idea that humans are supposed to eat a lot more greens than I would have guessed.

As long as I can remember, in books and pictures I always saw chimpanzees depicted with a banana or an orange in their hands. That definitely misled me to the assumption that they eat only fruit. To know that greens compose almost half of their diet became a revelation for me. As far as root vegetables are concerned, the chimpanzees don't eat any of them unless there is a famine and nothing green is left. Based on how much fruit we consumed in my family (about 4 or 5 pounds per day per person) I estimate that we needed to eat about two good sized bunches of dark leafy greens per person per day, and probably reduce the consumption of nuts, seeds and roots.

Another thing I noticed is that the chimpanzees really love greens. I remember watching at the zoos, how excited they became when given fresh acacia branches, young tender palm tree leaves or kale. I was so inspired looking at them that I went to the nearby bushes and tried to eat acacia leaves, but the truth was that the green leaves were not very palatable for me and that presented another problem. To eat greens was always more like a duty for me. I would think to myself, I have to have my greens. Some days I would "cheat" by juicing my greens. I would quickly drink a cup of green juice and consider myself good for a couple of days. Or I would make a delicious raw dressing and sink my greens into that dressing. That was another way for me to enjoy greens. But I could never imagine sitting and eating two bunches of kale or spinach.

The more I read about the nutritional content of greens. the more I became convinced that greens are the most important food for humans. If I could only find a way to enjoy them enough to consume the optimal quantity needed to become perfectly healthy!

I tried countless times to force myself to eat large amounts of greens in the form of salad, or just by itself, only to discover that I was not physically able to do that. After about two cups of shredded greens I would have either heartburn or nausea. All along, I was aware that my body was missing the nutrients that are available only from greens.

One day, while reading a book on biology, I became intrigued by the amazingly tough composition of plants. Apparently cellulose, the main constituent of plants, has one of the strongest molecular structures on the planet, because it is one of the longest and most complex carbohydrate molecules. From this I understood that in order to assimilate the many needed nutrients from greens, the human body needs to be able to break down these tough structures. However, cellulose is insoluble. That means in order to get nutrients, its structure has to be broken into the tiniest pieces, preferably down to the molecules. In simple words, we need to chew our greens to a creamy consistency in order to get the benefits.

Secondly, in order to digest the released minerals and vitamins, hydrochloric acid in the stomach has to be very strong, pH between 1 and 2.

These two conditions are absolutely, vitally, necessary to the assimilation of nutrients from greens. Apparently, I did not chew my greens well enough and possibly did not have a high enough level of hydrochloric acid in my stomach.(2) As a result, I experienced unpleasant signs of indigestion, after pushing myself to eat greater quantities of greens. Hence, I didn't like eating greens altogether!

However, after more than a century of eating mostly heavily processed foods, modern people lost their ability to chew normally. Our jaws became so narrow that even after extracting our wisdom teeth, we still need to wear braces.(3) Our jaw muscles became too weak to thoroughly chew rough fiber. In addition to these compromising conditions, many people have lots of fillings, fake or missing teeth. These conditions make chewing greens to a necessary consistency virtually impossible.

That is why I decided to try to "chew" my greens in the Vitamix blender. (4) First I blended a bunch of kale with water. I was thinking, I will just close my eyes and nose and drink it. But as soon as I opened the lid, I closed it back again quickly because I felt queasy from the strong, wheatgrassy smell. That dark green, almost black mixture was totally unconsumable. After some brainstorming, I added several bananas and blended it again. And that was when the magic began! When I slowly and with some trepidation removed the lid and sniffed the air, to my greatest surprise this bright green concoction smelled very pleasant. I cautiously tasted a sip and was exhilarated, because it was better than tasty! Not too sweet, not too bitter, it was the most unusual taste I had ever tried, and I could describe it in one word: freshness.

In four hours I emptied all I blended, which was one bunch of kale, four bananas and a quart of water. I felt wonderful and made more. Triumphantly, this evening I realized that this was the first time in my life that I consumed two good-sized bunches of greens in one day. Plus, I ate them without any oil and salt! And I enjoyed the whole experience.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

The Many Deaths of Fabian Cortez

Once again, @thecorteztwins inspired me to write something stupid about Fabian, featuring his many deaths and resurrections on Krakoa as he annoys every woman on the island.

Warnings for the usual level of Fabian-style sexual harassment and groping.  A couple of the deaths are gruesome, but nothing described in much detail.  One of the deaths got a little more angsty than funny, sorry about that.  Also sorry for any continuity mishaps, I’m not familiar with a few of the characters in here.  I characterized Chrome and Delgado based on thecorteztwin’s headcanons for the personalities.  Under a read-more, because this sucker wound up long. 

The first time it happened was when Fabian made the monumental mistake of flirting with Selene.  He’d already been trying his luck (meaning “pestering and in some cases straight- up assaulting”) with some of the gentler, less violent mutants. Dr. Cecilia Reyes simply covered her body with a forcefield when he attempted to grope her, then pushed him aside when he persisted.  Wallflower used her pheromones to induce a jolt of fear that sent him scurrying away. Sooraya shifted into a cloud of dust and reformed on the other side of the island after Fabian commented that it was a waste for a beautiful woman like her to cover herself completely (Icarus promptly punched Fabian in the nose to “discourage” him from trying again). Meggan played dumb blonde and asked Fabian to explain, several times, what exactly he meant by “Does the carpet match the drapes?”  She finally flew off when he failed to recognize the obvious brush-off.  

           So Fabian was brimming with unearned confidence – because the women’s non-homicidal attempts to rebuff him had been, in his mind, “playing hard to get” – when he decided to approach the former Black Queen.

           “Well, it’s your funeral, man,” Dominic said, lifting a beer as if to toast him.

           “Because she’ll literally fuck me to death, you mean?  Not to worry!  I’ve got incredible stamina and a very healthy heart.”

           “Don’t listen to him, mate, go for it.  Tell her about how you’re the ‘true pinnacle of homo-superior,’ she’ll be real impressed.”  St. John couldn’t finish the sentence without snickering.

           “It…seems like a bad idea,” said Simon nervously.  He hadn’t really intended to fall in with the bad guys, especially since he’d been trying to prove himself as an X-Man, but the original Pyro had immediately glommed onto him with a pushy, aggressive friendliness. And he supposed they weren’t really doing anything wrong just sitting around drinking and swapping stories.  It was better than awkward run-ins with Iceman, who was trying to pretend that the two of them hadn’t banged.    

           “Shush, Baby Pyro.  Let the man do his thing,” St. John said, tossing back another Jack and Coke.

           “Please don’t call me that,” Simon muttered.

           “Yes, I shall now ‘do my thing,’ as you so eloquently put it.  Try not to eat your own hearts out with jealousy when she falls into my arms,” Fabian said as he swaggered off.

           “She’s gonna eat his heart.  Literally,” Dominic grunted.  “Why are you even encouraging this, Johnny?”

           “Because it’ll be hilarious, and there’s fuck all to do on this island. I’m about ready to start writing again, I’m so bored.”  

           “Ugh, don’t expect me to help edit if you’re gonna start in with more of that Harlequin romance crap –“

           “You are literally the last person I’d ask to help edit, you illiterate wanker – “

           “Hey guys, I think he’s making his move.”  Simon pointed across the way, interrupting the quarrel.  (Simon had already recognized that original Pyro and Avalanche bickered like an old married couple, and drawn his own conclusions about that.)  Fabian was trying to casually lean against a tree while chatting up Selene, but had misjudged the distance, and was now stuck in a weird diagonal slant.  He made a vain attempt to compensate by pushing off the tree in a series of awkward, one-handed push-ups, while flexing his other arm.  Selene stood with her arms crossed like a very sexy, very terrifying statue.

           “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” Dominic snorted.

           “This is bloody brilliant, it is.  I’m absolutely putting this in my next book.”

           “It’s gonna be a comedy, then?”

           Fabian had stopped the push-ups, and was now gesturing at Selene, then back at himself.  He ran a hand down his chest and abdomen in what he probably assumed was an alluring manner.  Selene hadn’t moved, but something in her posture seemed tenser than before.  Simon thought he could see a vein standing out in her forehead.

           “Wish we could actually hear him,” St. John remarked.

           “I like him better when he’s out of earshot,” Dominic responded.

           “You almost gotta admire him, in a way, haven’t ya?  I mean, the sheer bollocks on the man to walk up to the Black Queen and try to put the moves on her.  Most men’s dicks would just shrivel up in fear.”

           “Is it really brave if he’s too stupid to be scared?”  Dominic crushed his empty beer can and pulled out two more, tossing one across to Simon.

           “Yeah,” Simon put in.  “It’s kinda like jumping the fence at the zoo and trying to pet a lion.”  The sense of camaraderie was making him feel more at ease. The alcohol helped, too.

           “See, Other Pryo agrees with me.”

           “Please don’t call me that, either.”

           Across the way, Fabian gestured again at Selene, then cupped his hands and twisted them around in an obviously lewd gesture.  Selene finally broke her stance, grabbing Fabian by the front of his shirt and pulling him forward into a passionate kiss.

           There was a collective gasp from the three mutants watching.

           Then, a dark energy crackled over the two embracing.  Fabian’s eyes widened in fear, and he attempted to pull away, but Selene put her hands on the back of his head and forced his mouth down onto hers. The blackness rippled across Fabian, then drained into Selene, who seemed to stand taller and stronger while Fabian’s muscular body withered in her arms.  Soon there was nothing left but a desiccated corpse, which Selene contemptuously tossed aside, wiping her mouth and looking like she’d just enjoyed a full meal.

           “Alright, Dom and Baby Pryo.  You’re both right.  The tosser is just too dumb to live,” St. John conceded.  

             The second incident showed that Fabian had not learned any kind of lesson at all from his experience with Selene, as he decided to proposition Mystique. The exotic blue skin, contrasting with her fiery red hair and revealing white costume – how could any man resist? And why would she dress in such a way if she didn’t long for male attention?  Her cold, aloof temperament added to the appeal, with an exciting hint of danger.  (Of course, for most would-be suitors, it was significantly more than a “hint” of danger. But Fabian was never one to notice things that didn’t fit into his world view.  As far as he was concerned, she only needed the right man – himself – and she would melt into his arms like a delicate snowflake.)  

           She presented a particularly dangerous picture as Fabian approached, cleaning and oiling the guns that she had spread along the table.  Sitting across from her, Toad was absorbed in his Nintendo Switch, waiting for her to finish so that they could start planning the next mission.  He’d earned some downtime, and was determined to get in a little practice so that Doug Ramsey wouldn’t destroy him at the next Smash Brothers game.  Again.

           “Mystique.  Why is a beautiful woman like yourself doing such base manual labor?”  Fabian slid into the seat next to her.  “Why not leave it to him?”  He gestured across the table at Toad, who briefly looked up from his game to scowl back.

           “No one touches my guns except me.”  Mystique did not look up from her work.  “What do you want, Cortez?”

           “Just to spend a little time with you, so that we could get to know each other better.”

           “If you don’t have anything interesting to say then stop wasting my time.”

           “I have many, many interesting things to say to you.  But perhaps it would be easier if we had some privacy. If the third wheel sitting across from us would possibly take a hint?”

           “Stay, Toad,” Mystique insisted.

           Toad nodded.  He wasn’t really paying attention to the game anymore, as he couldn’t resist sneaking up glances to watch Cortez be inevitably put in his place.  He felt a little bad about it – indulging in that kind of schadenfreude was an unhealthy habit of his from back in the early days of the Brotherhood.  He had so desperately wanted Magneto to love him, and he’d spent so much of his life as the unwanted, outcast butt of every joke.  It gave him a thrill of glee to see someone else get in trouble for once.    

           “If that is your wish, Mystique, I will allow it.  But you may prefer that we move this someplace more private once the conversation becomes more….intimate.”  He reached out to brush a hand against Mystique’s cheek, and she jerked away, looking up at him for the first time.

           “What is this actually about, Cortez?  Do you have information or some kind of plan in mind?  I know you’re a devious little shit and I can respect that, but cut to the chase.”

           “Very direct!  I like it. I love it when a woman takes charge.” At least as long as her “taking charge” happened to coincide directly with Fabian’s own desires and fantasies. “My ‘plan,’ as you so delightfully put it, is simple.  You. Me.  Enjoying each other’s bodies and experiencing pleasure that you couldn’t possibly imagine.  We could find a bedroom, or a secluded spot on the beach –“

           “Are you fucking kidding me?”  Mystique snapped.  “I thought you had something I could use, but you’re just hitting on me?”

           “And why not?”  Fabian stood up, spreading his arms wide to better show off his muscular chest.  “Am I not incredibly attractive?”

           “You’re making a huge mistake,” Toad warned, now openly watching the scene with his chin resting on one hand.  “I’d back off while you still can.”

           “I didn’t ask you,” Fabian said coldly.  “And pull your tongue back into your mouth, you repulsive creature. She’s probably too disgusted by the sight of you to respond to my advances.”

           Toad slurped his tongue back up out of sight, tucking the excess into his cheek, which now burned with embarrassment.  The long tongue had been a later mutation, and he’d never quite gotten used to it. Keeping it all inside made his mouth feel uncomfortably full, and it often lolled out without his noticing. But he was all too aware that others found it disgusting.

           “You’re far more repulsive than Toad could ever be,” Mystique said, standing up to face Fabian with her arms crossed.  Toad felt a small spot of warmth blossom in his chest.  He certainly didn’t feel bad anymore about watching Fabian get what was coming to him.    

“Understand, because I’ll only say this once,” Mystique continued.  “I am not, and will never be attracted to you.  I do not desire you or your company in any way – sexually, romantically, platonically.  Do not speak to me again unless you have something relevant to say.”

Fabian seemed taken aback for a moment, then he grinned.

“So, you’re saying that you’re only going to refuse me once?  I get it, you like a man who persists, who makes you feel that you are worth fighting for.  I won’t make you say it again.”  He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned in for a kiss.  His lips never touched hers – instead, Mystique’s hands moved rapidly, and there was a sharp cracking sound as Fabian’s head wound up facing the wrong way on his body.  He dropped to the floor.  The whole thing happened too quickly for him to even register surprise, so his now slack face, with eyes glazed over, still held some hint of hopeful anticipation.

           “Wow, that was…sudden,” Toad muttered, his tongue slipping out again. Mystique just looked at him, one eyebrow raised.  

           Toad shrugged back at her.  “I mean, you did warn him.”

           “If anyone asks, he tried to take one of the guns.”  Mystique was absolutely not in the mood for an Xavier lecture, it was even worse than a Magneto lecture.

           “Agreed.”  Toad nodded.  

              The third time, Fabian made what he believed was an entirely innocent gesture.  He saw a lovely ass, barely covered in tight black booty shorts, and he gave it the playful slap that such an ass invited.  

           Obviously, his first mistake was in assuming that clothing was an invitation for touching, and that he had a right to put his hands on anyone’s body.

          His second, and ultimately more important mistake, was that the ass in question belonged to Illyana Rasputin.

           Illyana whirled around at the touch, and her eyes narrowed.  Whatever pick-up lines Fabian had planned shriveled and died on his tongue as her piercing blue eyes seemed to stare directly into his soul. A chill ran through his entire body, and he shuddered involuntarily.  For once, Fabian was immediately aware that he had gotten in over his head.  This was no woman, it was a demon wrapped in a beautiful body, meant to lure in innocent men like him.

           The she-demon reached out a hand, and said a single word.

           “Limbo.”

           The word seemed to echo in Fabian’s ears as the ground melted away below his feet, and he dropped into a glowing circle.

           Later, Illyana would claim that she had only intended to teleport him across the island, far away from her.  It was a complete mistake that Fabian had somehow wound up stranded in Limbo, and torn apart by demons.  And hey, that wasn’t her fault, right?

             The fourth time, Fabian had retreated back to familiar ground – his own beloved Acolytes.  He’d led the group for so long, and served under Exodus (despite the man being painfully unfit and incompetent), so surely they’d all welcome him with open arms. And there was his own dear sister, resurrected at last.

           Unfortunately, Anne Marie was a bit miffed at him for the events that had led up to her death, which Fabian thought was rather unreasonable.  It was so long ago, Fabian could barely even remember it. Who could really say anymore who betrayed who, or who caused Asteroid M to crash?  The important thing was that it all ultimately came down to Magneto’s poor leadership.  Anne Marie didn’t quite see it that way.  She directed an icy glare at him whenever he ventured into the compound that most of the resurrected Acolytes had chosen to share.

           “Anne Marie, have I mentioned recently how happy I am to see you returned to us?”  

           “Chrome, please tell my brother that I am not speaking with him.”

           “Fabian, Anne Marie says – “  Chrome began in a deadpan.

           “Yes, yes, I heard her,” Fabian hissed.  His sister’s stubborn hostility hurt him more than he expected, although he was used to her being childish and willful, having grown up together.  He hadn’t actually intended for her to die all those years ago; he hadn’t imagined she’d be so stubborn as to stay by Magneto’s side until the end.  

           “Look, Anne Marie, things were complicated back then.  I had a plan –“

           “Chrome, please tell my brother to stop making excuses for his despicable betrayal of Lord Magneto.”

           “Fabian, Anne Marie says –“

           “Chrome, why are you participating in this immature nonsense?”  Fabian snapped.  

           “Because it amuses me, and I like her better than you.”  Chrome was blunt as always.

           “Fine,” Fabian sighed.  “But let me remind everyone that we’ve all been reborn on this island to start fresh, all sins forgiven.  Why don’t we let the past stay in the past?  I mean, I’ve died several times now, I don’t know why you’re all making such a big deal out of it.  And Magneto is alive, anyway.  He’s alive and thriving, so no harm done.”

           “Disagree,” Delgado muttered, from the corner by the window.  He was staring longingly out at the trees and sunshine, but unwilling to leave his team-mates alone with this snake.

           “Why are you even here, Cortez?  Are you recruiting for your stupid harem again, or are you going to try to replace Exodus.  Because you must know neither of those things are ever going to happen,” Frenzy spoke up from the table, where she and Unuscione were splitting a bottle of wine.

           “You say ‘start fresh,’ but you’re the same as ever,” Unuscione added.  “You never change, Cortez.”  

           “Why should I change when I am so magnificent?  Perfection itself!”  Fabian exclaimed, although his enthusiasm withered a little under his sister’s glare.

           “I have rarely met anyone so completely and utterly wrong,” Chrome snorted. Fabian paid him the generous favor of ignoring him.

           “Rest assured, I am not here to reclaim my rightful place of leadership. Although I’m not sure why you all wouldn’t want that.  Someone has to take charge.  Magneto is running the island with Xavier, and Exodus has abandoned you all to go tell stories to children.”  

           “So, it’s the harem, thing, then?” demanded Frenzy.  “It’s always one or the other.”

           “My friends, can’t I just visit you all out of the goodness of my heart?”

           ‘That has never happened,” Chrome pointed out.

           “Ever,” Delgado added, quite unnecessarily, Fabian thought.

           “Loooook,’ he adopted a soothing tone.  “I just think that we should all start thinking about the future.  After all, we’re going to be living out our lives here.  And eventually, we’ll no doubt start forming family units.  It’s only natural.  And one of the rules of Krakoa is to make more mutants, after all.”

           “Wow, there it is,” put in Unuscione.  “I knew you’d get there eventually.”

           “I think we need to sort this out early, so that it doesn’t get…messy later on,” Fabian continued.  “After all, I’m only one man, and there are only so many hours in the day.  We don’t want fights breaking out.”

           “Oh my god, will you just leave?” Frenzy exclaimed.  “We don’t want you around.”

           “Now, now, don’t get excited.  I know you deny your feelings because you don’t think you’re worthy, but I assure you, I find you extremely worthy.  You and Unuscione both.”

           Unuscione jumped up from the table at this point, forcefield spreading across her body, but Frenzy put an arm in front of her.

           “The other mutants already think we’re violent trouble makers,” she said. “Let’s not prove them right.”  

           “Yeah, but….it’s Fabian.”  Unuscione gestured at Cortez as if his very existence explained everything.

           “I know.  Let’s finish this wine and then go burn him in effigy.”  

           “I like the way you think.”

           “So……”  Fabian folded his arms, giving a long-suffering sigh.  “No one is willing to help propogate the mutant race with me, despite my obvious superiority in all respects?  And all because you’re all holding a grudge over a few tiny little mistakes in the past, that weren’t even really mistakes, just part of a long-term plan – “

           Fabian was interrupted by a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye. He heard Delgado call out his sister’s name, and whirled around.  He didn’t quite complete the turn, as the wine bottle was snatched up off the table and shattered against his temple.  

           Fabian collapsed amid a spray of red wine and broken glass.  His vision rapidly fading, he looked up to see his sister standing over him, holding the end of the broken bottle, her face contorted with rage.

           “You are not forgiven,’ she whispered, and then both sight and sound faded as he slipped away.

           “Hey, we were drinking that,” said Frenzy, although her annoyance faded as she looked up to see Anne Marie starting to shake, tears spilling out of her eyes as she dropped the bottle.  “Um, hey….you okay, hon?”

           “It’s okay, Anne.  He had it coming.  And they’ll just bring him back next ceremony anyway,” Unuscione said.

           “We’ll take it from here,” said Chrome, as he and Delgado came to stand on either side of Anne Marie, gently taking her arms.  She looked at both of them with a dazed expression, and then down again at her brother, the tears continuing to drip down her cheeks.  

           “Come with us, Anne Marie.  Outside. You’ll feel better,” said Delgado. The two former Acolytes led Anne Marie outside, and they sat together for a long time under the trees, quietly watching the birds

.  

                 The fifth time it happened, Fabian had learned a few lessons, and decided to approach some meek, sweet-natured mutants again.  Which is why he was sitting next to Marie-Ange Colbert, the former Hellion known as Tarot, with his arm draped presumptuously around her shoulders.  The way she seemed to quietly shrink away did not bother him.  Obviously she was just shy.  The sense of innocence and vulnerability was very attractive. Someone sweet and kind was exactly what he needed after the pain of his sister’s betrayal.  He couldn’t get Anne Marie’s face out of his mind, so twisted with hatred.  He shoved the image aside, and focused on the beautiful girl in front of him.    

           “I’m sorry, Monsieur Cortez, but our destinies are not in any way entwined. The cards are not favorable,” Tarot said.  She attempted to shrug off his arm, but he pulled her in closer.

“Your superstitions are adorable, my dear girl,” he purred.  She seemed so lovely and pliant.  He’d tried approaching the exotic one with the tail and lavender hair, but she’d hissed at him in a way that was really unbecoming, then run off into the woods.  “But we mustn’t let them stand in the way of true love.  Imagine the possibilities of the two of us together!”

           Tarot turned slightly green as she unintentionally imagined it.  

           “Hey, that’s enough.  She’s not interested, and you need to take your hands off her.  Now.”  James Proudstar stood in front of the pair, scowling down at Fabian.  Although he no longer considered himself a proper “Hellion,” he still felt some responsibility to watch over his resurrected team-mates on Krakoa.  His fierce expression and massive bulk would make anyone with common sense hesitate – but Fabian was not known for his common sense.

           “We are having a private conversation,” he said smugly.  “If the lady is not interested, she can tell me that herself.”

           “I’m not.”  Marie said firmly.

           “My dear, you play hard to get.  Why don’t you say it like you really mean it?”

           “She’s not interested.  Now back off.”  Jetstream joined his team-mate towering over the pair.  Two other Hellions – the muscular Beef and electro-powered Bevatron came up behind them in a show of support.    

           Sitting off to one side, Empath watched the proceedings with a quiet smirk, enjoying simply being able to watch things again. On Krakoa he’d fallen in with his formerly deceased team-mates largely out of familiarity.  Given that people like Selene, Mr. Sinister and Apocalypse had been invited to the island, his own comparatively minor crimes were largely forgotten.  He hadn’t really changed at his core – he was still a cruel, narcissistic bastard who enjoyed the suffering of others.  But his time spent blind had humbled him and taught him an important lesson – to shut up and stay under the radar.  It was nice to see the group united in hating someone that wasn’t him.

           “And what will you do if I don’t, as you so crudely put it, ‘back off’?  There is a proscription against violence on this island, as you all well know.”

           “No, the rule is we’re not allowed to kill humans,” James corrected. “Mutants can always be brought back.” Manuel nodded in agreement.  Amara had burned him to ash a couple of times before declaring a kind of “truce” in which he agreed to never speak to her again and she agreed to stop killing him.

           “Yes, yes, but we are discouraged from starting meaningless fights,” Fabian pressed.  “We don’t want to disrespect the island by wasting precious resources.”  Mutants killing mutants wasn’t technically against the rules, but the killer had to explain their reasons.  A mutant who killed too frequently and easily would be put in a brief “time-out”: imprisoned within the island itself like the mutants who killed humans, but for a much shorter time.  They had to have some deterrent, or else old grudges, plus the villains living among them, plus the cathartic ability to murder without consequences would quickly turn the island into a bloodbath.

           “That doesn’t seem to stop you from getting killed.  Over and over again,” Haroun pointed out.  “Even more than de la Rocha, somehow.”  

           “Yes, we are getting really tired of watching you come back in the resurrection ceremony,” Bevatron agreed.  “It is supposed to be a sacred ritual.  It kind of – how you say? – ruins the magic.”

           “We’re all gonna have to watch it again if he doesn’t take his arm off Tarot right now,” Beef said, cracking his knuckles ominously.    

           “Are you all really threatening me?” Fabian sputtered self-righteously.  “Just because I dare to love?”

           “There is no love!”  Tarot finally snapped, flinging his arm aside and standing up, putting some distance between them.  “I want you to leave me alone.  Right now.”

           “My poor, dear girl.  You are confused by your team-mates’ lack of respect and understanding.”

           “She’s not confused, she’s rejecting you.  Take a hint, jerk.”  Roulette walked up to join the group glowering down at Fabian.  She had waves of blond hair and fuller curves than the slim Tarot, and Fabian felt his desire stir for this one as well.  So many worthy mutant women on the island.  The fact that he didn’t have a harem assembled already was proof that the universe was a cold, indifferent place with no sense of justice.  And certainly not because he was doing anything wrong.  Anne Marie’s face flashed up again, and he shook his head to clear it, gazing again at the blond.  

           “Such harsh words from such a lovely vision of a woman.  Don’t be jealous, there is room in Fabian’s heart for both of you.”

           “That’s it –“  Beef started to step forward, but Roulette put a hand against his chest.

           “No need to start a fight,” she said, summoning a glowing black disc into her hand.  “We’ll just give this ass a healthy dose of bad luck to encourage him to back off.” She tossed the disc at Fabian, who attempted to catch it, only to have it disappear within his hand.  

           “Sorry, was that supposed to harm me in some way?”  Fabian scoffed.  He stood up, arms extended.  “As you can see, I’m fi-“

           He was cut off as he stepped on the end of his cape, and staggered backward, falling over the bench that he and Tarot had been sitting on.  As his feet kicked up, one of his boots flew up into the air, hitting a tree branch that had been weakened by rot.  The branch came crashing down.  Fabian gasped and rolled away at the last second.  Unfortunately, his trajectory took him right across a nest of fire ants, and he had only a moment’s respite before they came boiling out of the ground, stinging enthusiastically.  He leaped to his feet, shrieking and batting at his clothing, running in a blind panic.  His cape snagged on a tree branch, and yanked him back off his feet, his head slamming down on a rock.  Then everything was quiet for a moment, Fabian limp and still on the ground.  

           Jenny burst out laughing, while Tarot had her hands clasped over her mouth in shock.  James walked over and gingerly nudged Fabian with his foot.  

           “Wow, Jenny, you killed him.”  

           “Oh my god, I didn’t mean….”  Jenny gasped between bouts of laughter.  “I mean, that was amazing, but I really didn’t mean to kill him.  But that was amazing, wasn’t it?”

           “Oh dear,” Tarot sighed.  “We will have to explain this.”

           “Ugh, I don’t want another Xavier lecture.  He’s such a self-righteous prick,” Jenny scowled.  Then her eyes fell on Fabian’s discarded boot, and she began laughing again.

           “I’m sorry guys, it’s just…it was like a cartoon.  Totally worth it.”

           “It was an accident,” Haroun asserted.  “We all saw it.  You were just trying to drive him away and protect Marie.  We’ll back you up.”

           “Don’t worry, Roulette, I caught it all on video,” Empath announced, pressing a few buttons on his phone.  “Aaaaaaaand it’s up on Youtube now.”

           “Manuel, no!”  James scolded.

           “Manuel, yes!” Haroun countered.  “Let the whole internet see that bastard’s humiliation!”

           “Hey, look at all the hits already!  This is going viral, Jenny,” Manuel said, turning the phone towards her.

           “Oh wow!  I’m gonna be a Youtube star!  We’ve gotta find a way to monetize this!”  Jenny gushed.

           Meanwhile, deep in the forest, oblivious to the recent events, a lavender cat and a russet wolf slept curled up against each other in a contented pile of fur.  

             The sixth time, Fabian didn’t even manage to stay alive for ten minutes.  He noticed, as he came out of the pod naked and dripping, that many of his fellow Upstarts seemed to be getting brought back at the same time.  

           “What happened to you?” he demanded of Shinobi Shaw, who was facing the crowd with no shame about his nudity.  Probably enjoyed giving them a show (and flashing his own father), as did Fabian himself.  One silver lining of his frequent deaths was that the mutants gathered for the ceremony got to see his glorious physical perfection.

         “Orgy went wrong,” Shinobi said with a smirk.  “Never try to have an orgy in a cave that floods at high tide.”  

           “You couldn’t just leave?  Also, why did no one invite me?”

           “We were way too involved to just get up and leave when the tides started coming in.  Some people were in very elaborate restraints.  Including me.  Also, we were all pretty wasted.  We’re the whole reason Storm is giving a speech right now about being responsible and how our lives are precious resources not to be wasted.  Blah, blah blah.”  Most people would be embarrassed about drowning in a drunken orgy, but Shinobi seemed to hold it as a badge of honor.

           “Why wasn’t I invited?”  Fabian demanded again.  “I mean, look at me!”  

           “It was just kind of a small-scale thing, really,” Shinobi began, as more mutants emerged from the pods.  “Just a few of us.”

           “Wait, are those the Marauders?”  Fabian asked, looking at the newly resurrected mutants.  “Did you invite the Marauders and not me?”

           “Oh, no,” Shinobi assured him glibly.  “I’m sure they all died at the same time for unrelated reasons. Sinister’s always cloning them, anyway, he probably just wanted an upgrade.”

           “Hey, Shinobi!  Great orgy!” Riptide waved from across the way. “You are absolutely the blow job king, my friend, I concede the title.”

           “Okay, maybe a few Marauders got invited.  C’mon, some of them are pretty hot.”

           “Shinobi, loved the orgy,” called Arclight.  “Let’s do it somewhere less lethal next time.”

           “Nah, it’s not a good orgy unless a few people die,” put in Scalphunter. “Makes it more exciting.”

           “Are you kidding me?” Fabian exclaimed.  “All of the Marauders and not me?  Have you not seen this?”  He gestured down at his crotch.  

           “Oh, I’ve seen it.”  Shinobi smirked again, not even having the decency to look sheepish for all his lies. “It’s very impressive, but women don’t seem to like the way you use it.  And you don’t seem willing to let me touch it.”  

           “I don’t swing that way,” Fabian said, although an image of Quicksilver popped up in his head for some bizarre reason.  “And what do you mean women don’t like the way I use it?”

           “Let’s just say I’ve…heard some complaints,” Shinobi said.  

           “Okay, you know what?  Let’s do this whole orgy thing over again,” Fabian declared.  Seeing the nude women around him was already sending blood down to a certain area, and lust was amplified by a frustrated anger.  “We’re already naked, let’s start now.  And then we’ll see who has complaints!”

           “Much as I love the idea of giving the crowd a show, I think you’re jumping the gun a little here, Cortez,” Shinobi said as Fabian marched over to the nearest pod where a woman was emerging.  He pulled her up against his body, and found himself staring into the eyes of Siena Blaze.

           “Heard I missed the orgy.  I’m sure you were incredibly disappointed.  Let me make it up to you, right now.”

           “Let go of me, Cortez,” Blaze ordered, trying to pull out of his grip. He held her closer.

           “Don’t be shy.  We’ll give the crowd a show they’ll never forget.”

           “-look well, mutants.  Once again, your own have been brought back to you.  See them and rejoice, for – oh, by the Goddess!” Storm exclaimed, as her speech was interrupted by a piercing scream and a muffled explosion.  She looked over to see Siena Blaze, her hands smoking, standing over a bloody splatter that had formerly been Fabian Cortez.

           “Um, sorry….”  She shrugged. “He grabbed my ass.”

           “Fine,” Storm groaned.  “Stand with your fellow mutants and let the ceremony continue.”

           “Okay.  Oh, hey, Shinobi!  Great orgy!”            

             “We have to do something about this.  It isn’t just the waste of resources, it’s the message we’re sending. People can’t just kill each other with impunity.”  Magneto had come to consult with Xavier about the “Cortez” problem.  All of his killers had been subject to investigation and some minor punishment, but the pattern seemed to suggest that Cortez himself was the problem.  “Maybe we just shouldn’t bother bringing him back.  The man is a snake. I should know.”

           “Unacceptable,” Xavier responded calmly.  “All mutant life is precious.  We will waste none of it.”

           “The man is a disruption.”

           “He’s followed the rules so far.  There are far worse people living on Krakoa than Fabian Cortez.  We must treat him fairly.  And I must admit, his eagerness to breed is very in line with our goals here, if he could just find a willing partner.”

           “But we can’t let this ridiculous cycle of death and rebirth continue, can we? Maybe a time-out in the earth for awhile.”

           Xavier leaned forward with a cryptic smile.  “I believe I have a solution.  And it will require only a minor psychic tweak at his next resurrection.”

              At the resurrection ceremony, Fabian Cortez emerged from the pod for the seventh time in a month.

           “What is your name,” Storm asked him, quietly praying he would last longer than ten minutes this time.  It was all getting very repetitive.

           “Fabian Cortez.”

           “And how do I know that it’s you, Fabian?”

           “Who else could possibly measure up to my greatness?”  

           “It’s you,” Storm sighed.  She presented him to the crowd, which responded with muted applause, mostly from younger mutants who hadn’t met him yet.  

           As Fabian stood to one side while the other, much less important mutants returned from the dead, boredom began to wear on him.  He’d been through this so many times, and there was only so much enjoyment he could get out of displaying his body to the crowd.  He glanced around, spotting a beautiful young woman next to him with dark skin and flowing black hair.  He believed Storm had introduced her to the crowd as Threnody, but he hadn’t really been paying attention.  He let his eyes wander appreciatively up and down her body, then sauntered over.  No harm in a friendly proposition, especially since they were both already naked. Maybe he’d finally get to participate in an island orgy.

           “Hello, beautiful lady.  Today is your lucky day, because you get to experience the glory that is Fabian Cortez.” He grabbed her arm and pulled her around to face him.  Then his mouth dropped open in shock, because the face starring back at him was his own sister, with her lighter skin and short blue hair.

           “Anne Marie, I….how?  Why did you look like….I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to….please forgive me…”  The idea of hitting on his own sister filled Fabian with revulsion, and even the faintest hint of guilt.  He hadn’t forgotten her face after she struck him down.  On some level, he was perhaps apologizing for many things at once.

           “I’m sorry, what are you talking about?  I don’t know any Anne Marie.”  His sister pulled away and stepped back, suddenly transforming back into the dark-skinned woman.  “My name is Melody.  I don’t know you at all.”

           “I’m…sorry.  I was confused for a moment.”  All sorts of odd feelings were twisting around in Fabian’s stomach.

           “Fabian!”  A voice called from the crowd, and Anne Marie emerged, walking up towards the platform where he stood.  “I’m right here.”

           “Does this mean we’re on speaking terms again?”  Fabian asked hopefully.  Anne Marie’s mouth was still set in a hard line, but her eyes had softened a bit since he saw her last.

           “Killing you was rather cathartic.  I worked some things out of my system.  But don’t press your luck, I’m still angry with you.  There’s a reason for what you saw.  Come with me and Xavier will explain everything.”  Storm ignored the entire exchange as Anne Marie pulled Fabian off the stage and walked off with him.  He’d come back so many times, it didn’t really matter if he stayed for the entire ceremony.    

           “Psychic trigger?!” Fabian exclaimed.  

           “Yes,” Xavier continued.  Fabian and Anne Marie were meeting with him in a private room, after Fabian had thankfully been given clothing to wear.  “You have been killed multiple times because you are incapable of showing the women on this island the slightest hint of respect.  You let your reproductive urges lead you around.”

           “Isn’t that a good thing?”  Fabian protested.  “We are meant to make more mutants.  I want to do exactly that.  In fact, I’ll work extremely hard at that task.  Can’t you just assign me a few partners?”

           “That’s not how we are going to do things here,” Xavier said firmly.  “We will not go down the road of forced breeding.”

           “It’s worked out okay for the Inhumans,” Fabian tried.

           “No, it hasn’t.  There’s a streak of instability running through the royal family, people are still born with useless or debilitating powers, and the lack of freedom has the entire society boiling over with repressed emotion.  It’s no wonder Black Bolt’s brother manages to organize a coup every other month.”      

           Fabian shrugged.  He couldn’t really argue with that.  His encounters with the Inhumans had all been thoroughly unpleasant – especially that obnoxious, back-stabbing lunatic Maximus the Mad.  He couldn’t believe he’d ever considered the man a convenient ally. Never again.  And he definitely meant it this time.

           “So, what….I’m going to see Anne Marie in every woman until I find a willing partner?  That seems unfair.”

           “It’s entirely fair,” said Anne Marie.

           “The illusion will only kick in when you approach a woman with lust and disrespect, as you so often do.  When you think of her only as a sex object, and not a separate person with her own needs and desires.  Then, the psychic trigger will make her appear as the only woman you care about more than sex – your sister, Anne Marie.”

           “B-b-but….how long is this meant to last?  What am I to do in the meantime?  A man has needs, you know.”

           “There are ways to take care of your needs without bothering anyone,” Anne Marie said all too knowingly for Fabian’s tastes.    

           “It will last until you manage to show respect for a woman that you desire. Until you can put her needs above your own lust, and love her as a person, not a sex toy.”

           “Ugh, but that could take yeeeeaaars!”  Fabian whined.  “So few of them are truly worthy of me.”

           “It’s our solution to the disruption you’ve caused on this island.  Consider yourself lucky that you are not spending time in the ground, that is much more unpleasant.  But we wanted a merciful solution.  I will admit, there is some value in your presence, Cortez,” Xavier continued.  “Every group that has encountered you seems to have come away with stronger ties of friendship and camaraderie between them.  In a way, it seems, you managed to bring people together.”

           “Yes, because I have excellent leadership skills,” Fabian agreed.  “And people are drawn to my strong charisma.”

           “That’s….not exactly the reason why.  But nonetheless, your presence has produced some positive affect.  With this psychic trigger, hopefully the positive will outweigh the negative.”  

           Xavier dismissed them rather abruptly.  Fabian sulked as he walked beside Anne Marie, heading back towards the Acolytes’ set of rooms.  

           “Honestly.  A psychic trigger.  As if I’m a child.  Or an animal that must be contained.”

           “Well, one part of you certainly is,” Anne Marie muttered.  Fabian scoffed.

           “Look, try to think of it like a fairy tale.  You’re under a curse –“

           “Until I find my one true love!”  Fabian finished.  He rather liked the idea.  He was, of course, a handsome prince under a curse from a wicked sorcerer, who was just jealous of his good looks and flowing head of hair.

           “Until you learn a lesson.  Look, Fabian.”  Anne Marie turned to face him.  Her face was still stern and set with anger, but he could also see pain – carved into every line on her face.  It made him feel….not so good.  

           “I’m not over what you did.  I won’t be for a long time.  It hurt. But our Lord Magneto is alive again, and so are we all.  And Krakoa really is a place for new beginnings.  So maybe you can be better, too.  Please try.  For me.”

           She kissed him softly on the cheek, and walked away.

Notes:

This got slightly more serious than I intended, I just wanted a silly story where people got to kill Fabian in hilarious ways. Oh well.  This also turned into an excuse to write a bunch of neglected characters that I like hanging out and occasionally sleeping together.  Shinobi is definitely going to try to bang both Pyros at once.  He may or may not succeed.      

I don’t know all the Marvel women’s ages, but just assume that everyone Fabian hit on was at least 18.  He’s a sleaze, but he’s not that much of a sleaze. Also, Meggan was probably just visiting her old Excalibur team-mates, she lives elsewhere with Brian.

[numeronubisexualhawkeye]

This One’s For You Steve Irwin

1818 words

(this is complete and utter nonsense but i had fun writing it lmao)

Clint wouldn’t lie and say he had been a little excited when Maria cleared them for this mission. At first he was going to pass it onto someone else or let Natasha handle it on her own this time. He had just come off a month long mission trying to take down an arms dealer in Benin, and was ready for some well deserved rest, but Maria knew how to reel him back in. At first she had just told him that it was in Australia, easy, would probably be up in a week, and he could stay in the country for however long he wanted until they called him back for another mission (the last part sounded too good to be true, but Clint had vacation days saved up and he would use them on the sunshine coast in a heartbeat).

That grabbed enough of his attention to ask just how “easy” this mission was supposed to be. When Maria told him that they had to discreetly take down someone who had been smuggling biological weapons through Australia Zoo, he actually laughed.

“Is the crime world so desperate they’re willing to smear Steve Irwin’s legacy for their evil plan?” he had asked.

Maria just shrugged. “I don’t know. But apparently, they’re doing a sloppy job, because Queensland Police have had multiple tips from staff and tourists reporting suspicious behavior.”

“Then why not let Queensland Police handle it?”

“Because it’s one of ours.” Maria said handing him the file with the mission report.

Clint vaguely remembered the face in the blurry security camera picture. Some cadet who had defected early into training, too tempted by the easy money of some crime lord one of his friends had been running with. Maybe this would be easy, Clint had trained him for a short while, and the young man, Jacob if he remembered correctly, was shrimpy, never ranked high in any of his physical tests. But apparently he was a good enough businessman to have a weapons deal running down under.

He accepted the mission, and three days later, he and Natasha boarded a painstakingly long twenty hour flight. When they finally got to their hotel, Clint sang the praises to every deity he could name off the top of his head.

“You gonna lounge around all day or are we gonna get to work?” Natasha said coyly, tossing a t-shirt on his head.

Clint had been spread out across the bed for several minutes while Natasha was coming out the bathroom from a shower. “Ugh, five more minutes. That flight was the devil.”

“This heat is about to be the devil. I can’t believe we have to stake out a zoo during Australia’s summer.” Natasha said as she brushed out her hair.

“Hey, look on the bright side, we can go to the Crocoseum when we’re done.”

“Hm, that's true.” Natasha laughed. “But seriously, let's get this over with. There's no way that skinny asshole can be that big of a problem.”

But as it turned out, that skinny asshole ended up being a complete problem. Since the calls had been coming in about suspicious behavior, security at the zoo had been tightened. They had to go in without weapons, which they most likely wouldn't have needed, but going in without at least a pistol made Clint feel naked in his khaki shorts and t shirt. The only sort of gear they took in was a radiation monitor that Natasha had smuggled in in her purse.

The tight security also made it that much harder to scope their target out without alerting any of the staff. Sure they were just moderately trained cops and staff, but Clint would have much rather preferred to not have their cover blown (that and he really wanted to see the croc feeding at four).

They didn't stay the entire day, only about two hours. It was crowded and with the security, all they could really do is scout out staff entrances and exists, and keep an eye out for Jacob's face in the crowd.

The second day was a bit more promising. In the crowded cafe, Natasha was able to pick up a reading on the radiation found in the weapon they were looking for.

“West side of the zoo,” she signed to him. He had his hearing aids in, but it was easier to talk about the mission this way.

“Oh goody, looks like we're going to Africa.” Clint signed back as he looked at the map to see where exactly they would be heading.

Once in the African enclosures of the zoo, the crowd had thinned out a little and the security was a little less dense. Clint walked with his arm around Natasha's shoulder, leaning a little too hard into their newlywed cover. But how could he not? The jovial energy of the zoo, the perfect weather, Natasha looking like an angel in her green sundress, ponytail, and New York Giants baseball cap she had nicked from him a few weeks back. It was painfully blissful, and here he was trying to chase down a defunct cadet instead of being able to fully enjoy it.

“I got it.” Natasha signed, walking out from under Clint's arm.

He sighed as the moment ended, duty was always calling. He followed her as she walked along the perimeter of the enclosure, passing rhinos and giraffes as he went. When she stopped and looked up, her gaze went inward to the animals.

“What the,” she started, “that can't be right.”

“What is it?” Clint asked.

Natasha didn't say anything, there was a security guard walking past them. Instead she passed him the monitor. The signal was strong alright, the blip on the radar binging like crazy. Clint looked in the direction the monitor was saying the radiation was strongest; the herd of rhinos.

“Wh-what?” Clint said perplexed.

Natasha nudged him in the ribs with her elbow, the guard passing them had turned around. She laced her fingers in his and faked a laugh, as if she was laughing at Clint's reaction to a bad joke she had just told. The guard turned and walked off.

“Let's go.” Natasha signed.

Back at the hotel, Clint finally blurted out his theory as to what was going on, “He's smuggling the weapons through the animals. Like some drug trafficking type shit.”

Natasha shook her head. “No that'd be too easy to find out. I doubt a rhino would be able to hold down an atomic bomb in its stomach for long.”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “Are you hinting at what I think you are?”

“It's so stupid it's almost amazing, isn't it?” Natasha said.

“Just to be sure, we are both thinking that the animals are the weapons right?”

“Yeah that's totally it.” Natasha answered. He couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

That night, they donned their catsuits and gear and headed back to the zoo. Clint felt like he was going to hell for breaking into the zoo. Australia Zoo of all zoos to run a weapons ring, and in the animals themselves? It was already bad enough that it was animal abuse, but the things this would do to Steve Irwin's legacy if it got out? Clint made a note to kick Jacob's ass a little harder when they caught him.

First they took out the security cameras and set off a distraction in the food court. “Sonic arrow should do well enough for a couple minutes right?” Clint signed to Natasha.

They made their way back to the African enclosures but the monitor indicated that wherever the radiation had been coming from had moved.

“Shit, we're too late.” Natasha said.

“No, look over there.” Clint pointed to a small spot of light across the large field. The shape of the truck was almost impossible to make out in the darkness, but someone had left the light on inside.

“We gotta hurry. I really don't wanna disappoint any of the Peta freaks at work.” Natasha said.

They jumped the fence and sprinted across the field, Clint a little wary of the animals around them, but they took a wide path to avoid spooking the herd. But by the time they were halfway across the field, the truck driver had caught sight of them and started the engine.

“Shit. Clint,” Natasha hissed beside him.

“I'm on it!” He whipped an arrow out his quiver and took aim at the truck's tires, but the driver braked in front of them, narrowly avoiding running them over. A man stepped out the driver’s side, Jacob.

“Ha! I guess I finally popped up on Shield’s radar.” he said, sounding impressed, “Guess my little operation is going better than I thought.”

“Dude, you’re using rhinos for some fucked up weapons experiments.” Natasha, irritation dripping from her voice, “That’s not very honorable.”

“And at Steve Irwin’s zoo? The hell’s the matter with you?” Clint followed.

Jacob rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Some jackass in Africa wants souped up baby rhinos, I’m gonna give him souped up baby rhi-” Jacob’s sentence was cut off by one of Clint’s trick shots piercing his shoulder and electrocuting him.

“G-d these guys just can’t pass up a chance to monologue.” he huffed.

Natasha went to apprehend Jacob while Clint went to the bed of the truck and found a baby rhino sedated in the bed. “Hey there fella,” he whispered, rubbing his hand along its side. “We’re gonna get you home to your mom safe and sound.”

The rest of the night went smoothly. They alerted zoo security, and told them about Jacob’s plan. Natasha assured them that all the animals sold through Jacob would be returned as soon as possible, she and Clint both knew it wouldn’t take much to get the young man to crack and tell where he had shipped the poor animals off to. When all was said and done, there was technically five days left in their mission, and Maria had said that Clint could spend however long he wanted in Australia until his next mission. The next morning at the hotel, Clint woke Natasha up early with soft kisses on her cheek.

“Good morning to you too.” she smiled. “Happy to see me?”

“Yes, but there’s also a croc feeding at noon, and I really wanna meet Terri Irwin.” Clint whispered. 

Natasha rolled over and hit him in the head with her pillow. “G-d you only took this mission to come to Australia Zoo, didn’t you?” 

“What? No. I took this mission to honor the late, great Steve Irwin, and go to Australia Zoo.” 

Natasha laughed, and got out of bed. The rest of their stay was as sweet and simple as their newlywed cover had been, and for the time being, Clint couldn’t think of a better job in the world to have. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[epona1991]

52 Week - Art Challenge

This will be my own 52 week art challenge.

At each end of the week I want to give something like a status report. What went good, what was bad, where did I have incidents and what could I do better for the next week.

If you want to hop on make sure to use the tag #52WAC or #52W-AC

I listed the different topics under the cut. I didn’t want to spam your whole tumblr page with the challenge.

Me and my brother @balko37 will start the challenge on 02.07.2018 and will see this as our first week of the challenge. I wonder if I can make it through. But I don't want to give up.

Draw at least one picture of your choice (doesn’t matter if traditional or digital) Save the picture until the end of the challenge

Recap and Time management for the challenge If you really want to do this 52 W-AC you’ll need time! So write down your general appointments throughout the week. Try to consider everything. Going to school or working? Having other hobbies or weekly meetings? After you wrote down all your appointments, you’ll see where you have free time to devote to the challenge. Try to reserve at least 1 hour a day.

Information: Material Study Get to know the medium you’ll be using for this challenge. Search for information on how to use it (When should you use which pencil? What kind of settings does your digital program provide? Or are you using something absolutely different?)

Information and Train: Composition Gather information about compositions and draw different compositions for different scenes.

Practice: Make it simple Choose an animal/human/objekt and make it simple. Break it down to its basic shapes like squares, cubes, pyramids, triangles, etc. or just lines.

Practice: Scenes with simplicity Think of different scenes and break them down into their basic shapes. Include your knowledge about composition.

Information: Light Study Gather information on different light and shadow techniques without using colors (only black/white/grayscale).

Train: Light Study Now it’s time to use your new knowledge and try them out. Which technique do you like most and why?

Information: Color Study You probably heard something about a color wheel and how some colors mix better together than others? But is that really all to it? Collect information on it. Was there something new you didn’t know?

Train: Color Study Try out your collected knowledge. From now on try to use it as often as you can in this challenge.

Information: Light Study with Color You know the basics of light study but how do light and shadow react with color?

Train: Light Study with Color Train your light study with different colors. Remember your color study!

Information and Train: Shading Search for different shading techniques. Try them out. Which is the one you prefer most and why?

Train: Preferred Shading technique Train your preferred shading technique a little bit more. From on try to use it as often as you can in this challenge.

Information and Train: Faces and heads Get information on how to draw faces and try them out. Remember every face looks different. Try to draw a variety on head and face forms.

Information and Train: Hair styles Collect information on how to draw different hair styles. Do you like it more to draw hair styles with hairlines or without? What kind of hair style do you prefer?

Information and Train: Facial Expressions Try to get to draw different facial expressions. Use yourself as a model if you want to or search for references on the internet.

Information and Train: Hands Hands are hard. At least for me. Find references and tutorials on how to draw them. And practice them for this week.

Information and Train: Gestures Hands are actually pretty expressive. Find different gestures and practice them. Use an appropriate facial expression to express the emotion even better

Information and Train: Feet Now it’s time for practicing some feet. What kind of positions can they take?

Information and Train: The human body In this week we are dealing with the human body. And I’m not just talking about the ideal body. Some poeple have long legs, other a longer torso. Try to experiment with the body shapes.

Information and Train: Body language Time to put everything together. Body language includes everything you trained in the previous weeks. Search for different body language poses and draw them in different body shapes with hands, feet and facial expressions

Information and Train: Body language Deepen your knowledge of the body language and practice it more.

Train: Clothes Now it’s time to get some clothes down. Search for references and draw different clothing articles. Maybe look into your own closet and draw your favorite outfit.

Train: Wrinkles Don’t forget the sweet sweet wrinkles in clothes when they are worn. Wrinkles can be pretty tricky, that’s why we’ll be doing a little bit more of clothes with the focus on wrinkles.

Train: Shoes Did you know there are a lot of different types of shoes? Draw some of them. We associate a lot with different kind of shoes. To give your characters variety you’ll need a selection of them.

Train: Different accessories for a character Search for different possible accessories for a character and draw them. Maybe they’ll always carry an umbrella or technology with themselves.

Information: Character Design Now that we have the basics it’s time to create some new characters. But before we can start it’s important to have some information on how to create a good character. So gather as much information as you can.

Train: Character Design With the gathered information create some new characters.

Information: Perspective To bring the right perspectives into a drawing can be very tricky. That’s why we’ll concentrate on collecting information on how to create different perspectives. Are there easy tricks you can use?

Train: Perspective Practice your new information with different perspectives in your drawings/sketches.

Train: Perspective Train your perspectives more!

Information and Train: Characters interacting with other Characters Now that you have a few different Characters and the basics of perspective down it’s time to let your characters interact with each other. Do they talk/fight a lot or have a healthy relationship with each other?

Information and Train: Characters interacting with other Characters Let your characters interact a little bit more with each other and maybe with completely others too. Maybe they meet their famous fictional or real live crush.

Information and Train: Characters interacting with their environment Gather Information and practice your characters interacting with their environment. Sometimes they’ll probably open the door, drink a glass of water or are sitting and enjoying the sun. How are you interacting with your environment?

Information and Train: Water Water is the most important element on our blue planet. That is why this week we will deal with this particular element. Gather information on it and draw a river, the ocean, a sea or maybe rain.

Train: Flora Our Flora has so much variety to offer. Besides all the different trees, there are a lot of flowers, weeds, parasitic plants and even carnivorous plants. Research some of them and practice their designs and textures.

Train: Landscapes Time to look for some landscapes to practice. I love landscapes. They can set a beautiful atmosphere for a drawing. So train a lot of different landscapes in this week.

Train: Buildings Drawing buildings seems to be pretty boring in the beginning. But if you drawing or story plays in a city and not completely in the wild you’ll need to draw a house or a building eventually. So search for references and draw some buildings. Maybe you can use pictures from your neighborhood?

Train: Vehicles Vehicles are important for transportation. That includes logistic, public transportation, road traffic and so on. Look for references and draw different vehicles. You could design a futuristic car or an old carriage.

Train: Furniture Furniture is important and can tell a lot about a drawing. Is the table well taken care of or does it show a lot of sings of usage? Is the kitchen clean or dirty? Draw a lot of different furniture and experiment with it.

Train: Real Animals Search for references and draw a few animals. But remember that there are not only mammals, but also insects, fish, reptiles, etc. The world has much to offer

Train: Fantasy Animals Now it’s time to draw some fantasy animals. But don’t just create unicorns or dragons. Try to create a few completely new ones.

Information and Train: Backgrounds Backgrounds are a sore subject for some artists. But it is important to set your character in an interesting environment. Is there something in the background, that could catch the viewers attention at second glance?

Train: Backgrounds Practice your backgrounds more. Don’t forget it makes your drawing more interesting.

Train: Set yourself a time frame Set yourself a time frame in which you want to finish a drawing. After that exact time you have to stop and look at your result. Were you able to  finish it? If not, think about where you wasted time and try again.

Information and train: Field trip Get out and try to find inspiration from outdoors. Maybe there’s a place in your town you always wanted to visit. Sit down and sketch the scene before you. What does the composition look like?

Information and Train: Field trip Same task as last week, but visit other places. Maybe a zoo for differences?

Practice: Draw to the lyrics of a song Take a lyric line from your current favorite song and create art for it. Try to use every information and knowledge you collected so far.

Practice: Draw whatever you like Draw whatever you like. Where do you still have potential to grow? Which topic do you need to look into again?

Information: Recap what you learned Check over your collected knowledge and refresh everything for the great finale. Look more detailed into the topics you have the most potential of growing in. Try to rest your mind and hands :)

Draw the this again Draw the picture form the first week again. Try to use all your different collected knowledge form this challenge. Congratulations! You did it!

[luna-fernanda95]

50 Crucial Blog Writing Tips For Beginners Beginning In 2018

In life when people are faced with similar scenarios most of them will certainly make similar decisions. Why can t this legislation apply to blogging?

I have located that brand-new blog the afropunk entrepreneur  theafropunkentrepreneur.com  owners no matter technological competence begin with a nearly similar viewpoint to the blog writing world. They all have the tendency to share ideas concerning exactly what blog writing is what their assumptions are from blogging. This is why it's possible making an article similar to this. We could think the majority of blog owners make the exact same mistakes when that begin (I made the same ones when I started) we can presume just what blunders new bloggers will make when they begin blogging. Highly successful individuals are those that put on t simply gain from their own blunders however the errors of others. So, to assist all blog owners available I thought I d make a checklist of all the typical major blogging blunders I have discovered consulting blog writers so that you could gain from them and also make them right for yourself. I'm turning this overview on its head.

These typically aren't your common 50 blogging ideas for beginners yet 50 points you have to REFRAIN if you intend to be an effective blog writer in 2018:-RRB- I have made a number of these blunders myself;-RRB- however time and experience has actually taught me exactly how important the little things can be. So, while several of these pointers may appear a bit mundane in the beginning. Constantly bear in mind that poor errors end up being bad habits and also poor behaviors on the internet convert right into something only: failing.

Here are 50 Blogging Tips For Beginners? (of errors you have to prevent if you wish to become a successful blog writer):.

Creating Disposable (Throwaway) Blog Site Posts.

In Search Engine Optimization, there is a term that Material is King. I personally really feel that this statement is rather mild ... In my point of view, web content is not just King however Queen, Court, Police, Husband, Spouse as well as whatever else on the internet. If you have low-quality negative web content I can ensure you that you will certainly stop working. Similar to a structure your blog's structure is the content you develop as well as weak point in your blog posts means your blog site can come rolling down anytime (Google algorithm updates anybody?:/).

Not Networking with Others in Your Blog writing Market.

You can never win in the net world by separating yourself; you have to stay on top of trends and the only method to do that is by actively connecting with various other bloggers in your blog writing particular niche. Maintain your close friends close as well as your opponents better. Blogging is a cut throat globe as well as you have to have a pulse on the competition if you want to do well and really make some cash blogging.

Not Making Use Of Social Networking to Advertise Your Blog.

The world has actually shifted to social networking and not making use of is the matching of rejecting to utilize electrical energy for medieval technology. Social media has come to be significant in obtaining your blog site direct exposure as well as assisting to construct blog site authority. You must service making your blog posts "likable" and "shareable". Usage great deals of pictures and also attempt to include punch lines which can be tweeted. Remember you're always one viral minute far from globe broad fame;-RRB-.

Going Off Subject in Your Blog Posts.

I always liked going to the Zoo when I was more youthful. I loved the Hippo s. I enjoyed the Giraffes. I liked the Flamingos Obtain it?

Not Corresponding.

This is the number cardinal blunder that blog writers who fall short make. You should be consistent. Much like working out exactly how it s better to do 15 minutes of exercise on a regular basis after that spend 5 hours in the gym when a month. Bogging calls for everyday routine initiative. So also if it s simply a small 300-word message or a pair tweets, aim to make your blog much better every day.

Spamming Site visitors.

This ought to be obvious. Your visitors are whatever! So, if you have actually finally grown a newsletter of say 1000 participants on your self-improvement blog site, please don t send them an email advertising a dishwashing machine.

Writing Long Essays Without Breaks.

No this isn t freshman year English. Please don t write in that very unintuitive awful APA design without any headings or splitting up. When It pertains to blog writing, readability is key as well as if your article resembles a job to review, 9/10 individuals will avoid it (Including me. Sorry! J).

Making Your Blog Layout Complicated.

The even more, easy, user-friendly as well as easy your blog design is the better. So miss on that full-screen video that plays on launch or that actually awesome menu that s moving around the display.

Making Use Of Bad Headlines.

Which heading would certainly you instead click? Alternative A. some truths concerning junk food Option B. 39 Astonishing Truths Regarding Junk Food That Will Certainly Open Your Eyes The response is option B if you didn t obtain it.

Having A Slow Website.

40% of people abandon a site that takes more than 3 seconds to tons. That s indicates if you re site takes 3.5 seconds to fill 4 from 10 people that visit your blog will certainly bid farewell prior to they also read a word not to mention acquire something. I recommend you make use of Googe PageSpeed to examine where you could enhance. It will offer you a malfunction of your web page and the requests a user need to make to pack your blog site. The best fix to this is to constantly purchase an excellent web-hosting supplier. I personally prefer as well as suggest BlueHost yet there are big selection of alternatives you could pick from.

[lekshk]

From CarnivOl to CarnivAl

Usually, when it comes to gatherings, despite being gregarious, I sometimes prefer my own company. These are the times when I choose merging over mingling with the crowd. I get into an observer mode. At other times, I become the life of that gathering. It is only recently I came to terms with these personalities of mine. So, when Volunteer For a Cause (VFC), a not for profit group of volunteers from Bangalore, working on 17 different causes every weekend, was looking for volunteers for a fest exclusively for children with physical and mental impairments, I wasn't sure whether I want to be part of it. The event, known as Carnivol, was to be conducted on a Sunday, 08 Dec 2019. The date was carefully chosen to coincide with the days commemorating internationally, persons with disabilities (PWD) and volunteering spirit on 03 and 05 Dec respectively.The target audience was 400 in number. Whether it was the magnanimity of the event or its ambitious nature, the volunteer in me instinctively said yes, blissfully forgetful of the fact mingling with the crowd could be a potential turn off. Having realized the enormity of the decision taken later, I went back to all those days where I felt it was difficult yet not impossible. And thankfully, in all the experiences, little discomforts had become amusing memories later. All I had to do was have the will to take a chance and give myself enough time for things to take its course. Therefore, I decided to take baby steps. I joined the team handling content and installations. Decorations were happening every weekend and irrespective of whichever team one was in, everyone was part of it. Art and craft has always been an ally to me. So, my participation in decorations was spot on. Whether it was to stick m&m replicas to ice cream cones or cut cup cakes or geometric figures and stick silver paper to it, the inner child in me navigated through seamlessly. As if I knew where to go. After finishing the day's work, we all gathered for a group picture holding the colorful decorations made for the day. Now I understood, as part of mental health, why it is important to spend at least 20 minutes on a creative activity. It is because it helps you go back to your childhood days of being in the present with no care in the world state of mind. Like any human interaction, the volunteer meet up every weekend was no different. There were fights, playful banter, serious conversations, assigning roles and responsibilities and of course, loads of fun. Finally, came the dreaded task of putting the stationaries back to its place. So, at the end of the day, I either volunteered to segregate the stationaries collected or putting them back to their designated place or clean the place. After 2 weekends, my brain became free for thoughts on content for the event. I pursued the task single minded. Wherever I went, my eyes scanned for material that could convey PWD's story, the do's and dont's and how I could realign my behavior that conveyed dignity and respect towards them not only in words but also in actions. The other team members too got into action and started sharing whatever they could. Starting from understanding trend sure projects to the PWD act, so many insights and reflection points came out for me. I remember on the day of the event, when I was sticking the success stories in one of the stalls in the morning and watching the participants perform later in the day, I was lost in deep thoughts. Ironical isn't it, these are kids who either cannot see or hear or speak or have a disorder or struggle to walk without support, yet nothing seems to stop them from leading fulfilling lives while some of us struggle to make a meaningful existence despite having healthy bodies and minds. I was standing at the entrance of the auditorium to ensure no kid goes unattended and also watch the performances simultaneously. After lunch, the kids were taken to the play area where trampolines, toy trains, slack lines, rope ladders awaited them. Whether it was assisting some of the kids to wear the safety gear to climb the rope ladder as part of the adventure sports arranged for them or helping another to use the exercise equipment in the park gym or just holding hands to help walk on the slack line or asking a girl about her fellow classmates using the limited sign language I knew when I found her near the swing away from them or waving at the kids on the toy train, every action of mine was a test in itself of my comfort zones. Towards the end of the event, all volunteers formed a human chain on either side right from the entrance of the auditorium till the exit to clap hands for each kid for trusting us to be part of a day designed exclusively for them. In the process, I also patted my back for trusting my instinct and sailing through the day victoriously! I had no plans to share this story. But the image of a girl with mental impairment excitedly kissing the soft toy she got as a return gift lingered in my mind. It made me ponder about my own reactions to certain situations in my life. Such a simple gesture, isn't it? Pure, unfiltered joy! How does age or an impairment matter? That was the most authentic response even adults don't exhibit! I also recalled another boy who started talking excitedly to me in Marathi when he got to know I could speak the language! That sense of familiarity and belonging excited him further to chatter to a complete stranger - me. No presumptions but sheer innocence to share his happiness. In the process of growing up, where did we loose that unblemished expression of our emotions? It gave me food for thought to be comfortable with who I am and appreciate myself for it so as to become who I want to be in this connectedly disconnected world! The icing on the cake happened shooting a video of one of the installations. That was fun! It wasn't pre planned, hence there wasn't time for retakes or rehearsals. It was impromptu and straight from the heart with the initial awkwardness. I realized, as volunteers, knowingly or unknowingly, we criticize or point fingers at each other when things don't happen a certain way or they aren't where they were supposed to be. I think those are the imperfections we exhibit as humans at such moments. Gandhi's words be the change we wish to see now made true sense to me. So, I stayed back to help remove the installations and putting the materials back to their designated place. Now, the day ended with satisfaction for me. And tomorrow would be a better one! Carnivol 2019 is over. Don't know what's in store next year, where I would be, what I would do. One thing is for sure - like I said earlier, a little discomfort now becomes a potential amusing memory later. This experience has only strengthened my resolve to continue volunteering come what may. I get to interact with people who have accepted their adversities with so much grace and converted it to something positive and meaningful. Thanks to that girl, I am sharing this story now. Because the lesson I learnt or keep learning from each experience and this experience too was - All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, literally, 20 seconds of embarassing bravery and I promise you something great would happen (~ We bought a zoo) And specially for all the wonderful kids (and adults) out there- Don't let fear stop you from doing the thing you love (~ Sing)

[havekiddoswilltravel]

Amelia Island and Orlando, FL

My parents have lived in Florida since my husband and I were engaged. These means that we visit the sunshine state at least once per year. This particular trip included an inter-generational trip to Amelia Island prior to spending a few days in Orlando and thus the obligatory visit to the mouse.

This trip was an anniversary trip for us so we splurged and stayed two nights at the Ritz Carlton Amelia Island. I highly recommend Amelia Island as a family vacation destination and the Ritz was a phenomenal option for us with my parents and three kids. We took a direct flight from Hartford to Orlando and spent one night at my parent’s house prior to driving up the Eastern Florida coast to Amelia Island which is located north of Jacksonville.

View of the hotel from the beach. Each room had nicely appointed and comfortable balcony furniture with beautiful ocean views. 

Kid 1 on the beach. As you can see from this picture, the beach was not crowded and you could walk on it for miles. Please note: this trip was taken in late April.

The kids program at the hotel was wonderful. One activity included teaching the kids about shark teeth and helping them find them. Once the kids had accumulated their finds, they made necklaces out of them. Here is kid 2 proudly showing off one of his teeth.

Kid 2 and my dad looking for shark teeth. We enjoy traveling with my parents. The kids love spending time with their grandparents and it give us an opportunity to have a few evenings out without children. Everyone wins. 

My parents enjoying the beautiful Amelia Island beach.

After three amazing days on the beach, we drove back to Orlando to begrudgingly go to Disney. My parents live in Kissimmee  thus you will notice annual trips to Disney, even though my husband and I are both not Disney fans (I know gasp). Let me clarify, my husband is a physician and owns his own practice which means that he is always on call. I run his practice from home and homeschool four children (at the time of these pictures it was 3). Disney is not a relaxing vacation and we are not big fans of crowds. Having said that, you will also notice that we frequent Disney, but rarely during school vacations or in the heat of the summer months. Buckle your seat belts and be prepared for the different pace of the following pictures.

Our family at Hollywood Studies. We had kid 3 in that baby carrier all day long, kid 2 in a stroller and kid 1 walked. My husband carried all of our essentials in a backpack and I carried no purse or bag.

Husband and kids 1 and 2 while I wore kid 3. Let’s briefly talk about strollers. I have gone through more strollers than any one family should. Why? We travel often and put many miles on our strollers. Also, airlines are not gentle and international trips are extremely tough on them. I currently still keep an umbrella stroller in Florida at my parents house and travel with a second umbrella stroller for kid 4. My double B.O.B. stroller is a lifesaver for local trips whether to ski mountains, the zoo or the beach. I would never put my double B.O.B on a plane because the risk of damage is not worth the convenience. More about my B.O.B. in future posts.

 Kid 2 has done the Stars Wars Academy at Hollywood Studies and I will share strategies for getting a spot in a future post. We skipped it during this trip due to the baby’s schedule. Let’s discuss schedules. My babies has always been pretty flexible and thrived as long as they were near me. Thus, I managed to have my baby nurse and nap in a baby carrier while my big kids enjoyed Disney. We stopped for diaper changes and stretch breaks for her and everyone was happy. Also note that my parents live in Kissimmee and we go to Disney once or twice per year. Thus, we have no problem going to a park for half a day and leaving if it’s too hot or crowded. We don’t attempt to get everything in at once and push our kids to the point of complete meltdowns. So if you see a child completely melting down at Disney, don’t judge the child because that poor child has probably been up since 6 AM for rope drop and will be there until the fireworks at 10 PM. We value our sanity and thus don’t do that to ourselves or our children.

Let’s take about Characters. My husband is not one to stand in a long, hot line to wait for a picture and signature with a character. It is just not going to happen. Knowing this, I always book at least one character meal for my kids to get pictures in an air conditioned setting. Our character meal of choice with small children is Chef Mickey and preferably Breakfast. Many will say: wait to go to Disney when your kids are older and can remember. If it’s your once in a lifetime trip, then I agree. For us, going when the babies are under 2 is a great deal. They have free entry to the parks and don’t pay at character meals. Be aware that over 10 at Disney is considered an adult. This year our kid 1 who’s 11 counted as an adult for this same breakfast. Ouch, that hurts.  I told her she better eat a lot of food and not tell me that she was hungry in an hour when we entered the park.

These pictures are from Chef Mickey’s at the Contemporary Hotel. 

The last Disney park that we visited on this trip was Animal Kingdom. We got there early because we had park hopper tickets and wanted to go back to Magic Kingdom in the afternoon. This is completely doable, but now that our kids are older we don’t get park hopper tickets and just enjoy one park per day followed by time at the pool and much needed relaxation. 

The Festival of the Lion King at Animal Kingdom. It is still one of our favorites.

One of our most memorable vacation moments occurred this afternoon as we were dancing at Magic Kingdom’s dance party and we looked up and there were our friends from CT. We proceeded to lol and dance together in disbelief that we randomly bumped into each other at Disney. We spent the afternoon together at The Magic Kingdom and they invited us to join them at the Happily Ever After Fireworks Dessert Party (my friend moved tickets around and some how we moms and kids went into the dessert party and her mom, brother, husband and my husband hung out together). More to come about this friend in a future post, as the following year we returned to Disney together to celebrate her daughter’s birthday at Cinderella’s castle. 

We finished out our Florida trip with a visit to Sea World. As you will note from the pictures, this was Sea World before the recent changes to the killer whale show. 

Our kids love looking at maps and planning out their days.

I’m a big believer in shades and hats for kids on vacation. 

Let’s talk about hotels. I am a deal/budget conscious traveler. I know it seems ironic that I’m saying this since we stayed at the Ritz for the first part of this trip. I do go all out for anniversaries, but always balance our hotel expenses. On this trip, we stayed at my parents house, at the Ritz and at the Orlando World Center Marriott which is down the street from Disney. Due to our various visits to Orlando area, we have now probably stayed at every Marriott resort and timeshare in that area. More recommendations to follow. We have also stayed on Disney properties and will share those experiences in future posts. 

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[nicolesqueloquence]

To say I was triggered by this show is an understatement.

Its mere power of suggestion was enough to push me off the ledge of the very dark place I was in this week.

Thanks to a close friend and my family, I lived to see another day.

And it’s about time I reminded myself why I stayed, and why I will ALWAYS stay (in no particular order):

Laughter: the power of memes, gifs, videos that actually conjure my very twisted and sometimes hidden sense of humour is more than I can even describe. In those moments, there aren’t the same little worry thoughts overcoming me. I feel myself unravel and revel in the dopamine triggers that the Internet has to offer.

Food: come on, how can you even sit there and think about never eating again? It’s hard to hold onto an appetite in the brink of depression, I understand. But the wide variety of cuisine and the power of taste on the brain is essential for our survival and our pleasure receptors. Do NOT neglect this need of yours, because it will eventually make you remember there is so much left to enjoy and discover in the world of food.

Friends: I really felt like I had virtually no one in those moments that I wanted yesterday to be last day here. I was very, very incorrect. Even the slightest of acquaintances, peers, colleagues can prove to be very powerful allies in the face of a crisis. You never know who can become your best friend around the corner. No matter our differences, there is always a common ground to meet another person on and reach out to when you need help. I found this out thankfully yesterday, and these are people that will be affected by losing you even if you don’t think so.

Music: You can bet music can be triggering, but I’m still playing the same sad song from that show (-_-) at this very moment just to prove to myself that I’m stronger than to not let myself enjoy a song and only be pushed by it to experience negative emotions. There are some songs that you can only avoid just to keep your sanity, and I respect that. Some roads are not meant to be remembered or reminisced if it only brings pain. But there are songs that strike a chord with what you’re feeling and contain lyrics that truly express the sadness as well as the happiness we want to feel. Music is a huge influence and can be a game changer in that weak moment of just wanting to end everything. So don’t sit and suffer in silence. Reach out for a good song if you only want some solitude to work out your emotions.

Movies/TV: I’m truly a film buff by nature since childhood. If I could personify a major database, it would be IMDB. I can name various actors/actresses and then list other movies they were in with other actors/actresses. It’s such a bona fide skill, I know. But it’s a nice, distracting one if you’re in a moment where you need to stop focusing so hard on what you’re feeling. Delving into the drama of other people can be somewhat of a help, too. Reality shows, as scripted and ridiculous as I personally find them to be, can be very therapeutic in the name of distraction. (AND NOT THIRTEEN REASONS WHY OKAY. :()

Family: If you’re as blessed as I am to have a close relationship with your parents, or your siblings or distant relatives, then do not ever take that for granted. These are people that care about you unconditionally, and will see you through those severe moments of dysfunction and depression. If you have a dysfunctional family like I have in the past, then perhaps it may be harder to reach out to them than friends that act as family. Which is fine, too. As long as you count the people in your life who will be hurt by you taking the permanent way out of your own pain, as hard and painful as it may be to simply try to get through it without taking your life. Think about the people who have to try and move on when you can’t stay, and hold onto their grip when they hold onto you to.

Dreams and Aspirations: Logically, I know I’m a person of intellect and substance when I am able to apply myself. When my bipolar-borderline tendencies aren’t consuming me, I am very much able to conquer challenges and realize dreams I have for myself. I have a long list of goals, big and small, that I have barely touched because of the demotivating decline of depression and the self-doubting anxiety that takes over at times. But sometimes just getting up and just tackling one out of the many can bring so much more relief than it may feel like. Whether it’s a shift at work, a homework assignment, a trip to the gym or park, or just going outside so that you finally get out of bed. It will mean so much more when you finally do it after envisioning yourself doing it.

Exercise and Physical Exertion: I know how flat depression can make the body, ripping away every will to even move a muscle out of bed. I can’t even imagine walking into a gym right now, especially with a huge lack of stable sleep. But sometimes just going outside for a walk, or taking a brief jog at a nearby park can elevate the serotonin levels in your brain long enough to subside a huge wave of depression you’ve been feeling. Unfortunately when it comes to energy, we have to fake it to make it sometimes. So just feeling yourself move, even if it’s just bedroom dancing to your favourite song, will eventually release the chains on your body from the depression defect and you’ll finally be able to breathe again- unless you get so wound up that you’re out of breath!

Love, or Something Like It: I know this can be a huge trigger, most of the time. The only person I could think of in that moment of despair was my last serious relationship with someone that I deemed my first love, who I lost a whole two years ago. While I’ve restricted myself from the social confines of dating due to online schooling and working full-time usually, I’ve faced a huge drought in my love life since him. So in a sense, he’s all that I really know. But there are SO MANY MORE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAN WHO YOU ONCE HAD. You have to remember the many little reasons or big reasons it didn’t work out, and you have to remember what you have even if you don’t have that person and never will again. Sure, it feels like a huge loss, almost like grieving a dead person right? But not forever. Two years feels like an eternity at this point, especially after the previous TEN that I had been with him on/off. But you could meet your next partner tomorrow, or next week, or next year. The point is to be open to the world of possibilities, and the chance of letting romance find you. Because it will, only if you let it, and only if you allow yourself to be ready. When it comes to love, sometimes you have to let go and hold onto yourself for a while before you can latch onto someone else. Be patient. Be kind to yourself. And never let anybody make you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved.

Travelling: I know my bucket list has barely been touched at 25 for me to live and die in where I currently reside. I also know there’s so much more out there to see and do than the little mousewheel we currently feel stuck in. Routine can feel monotone, and so can stagnancy. So fetch a passport, make a plan, invite friends or prepare for a solo self-searching trip, and go. Just do it. #NIKE :D

Pictures and Memories: Sure, another trigger, I know. There are some flashbacks that keep me up at night that have had me questioning if I had PTSD-esque symptoms alongside my mood/personality disturbances. However, there are good memories too. And if you haven’t had a whole lot, you can also make them. I tend to shell myself in, cage myself in my room, and socially isolate in the midst of major depression. I know I’m not alone in this, but I like to be alone when I’m like this. And that’s totally fine if you prefer not to invite others in your pit of darkness. But don’t keep yourself holed up in a hole. Go outside, do something spontaneous, join a random internet group, SOMETHING. And take pictures. Take selfies, lots of them, to remind yourself how beautiful you’ve been and STILL ARE. Don’t compare yourself to yourself like I do and many women before me who only see a world of aging when they carry a world of beauty in their body and face. Taking positive, confidence-building pictures of yourself will lift the facade that this is the worst phase of your life- because that is merely a self-limiting belief that you are allowing to take over your day, your week, your month, and your year. Don’t think that all you are is a face and body either, but don’t let your confidence regarding your appearance wane even if all you can see is the pain in your face. Smile, because you’re worth it.

Pets, pets, animals, and PETS: My cat Buttons is such a charming diva of a male tuxedo cat that sometimes when I’m emotional, I literally have to cry tears of joy when he joins me at the nest of pillows in my bed. If you’re blessed enough to have a soulmate in the form of an animal, don’t take them for granted either. They need you. They know they need you, too, which is the best part. They may not understand when you yell at them to get off of things, or know the human things that make us upset- but they know how to love unconditionally and show that when we need it the most. So keep them close, because even animals can get depressed when their beloved owners abandon them. If you don’t have a pet then visit a local zoo, adoption center, or pet rehoming events at places like PetSmart or PetCo. Even if you cannot purchase a pet, you can show other homeless animals attention and get some loving back if you make a petfriend.

This, Too, Shall Pass: Cliche quote about the short-term longevity of emotions, I know. But it is too true. Emotions, thank God, are temporary. Unfortunately so are sensation of happiness when our dopamine and serotonin are surging. I get that, I practically live on a rollercoaster myself. The ups are just as addictive as the downs, because that’s what we get familiar with. But we DO NOT have to continue to suffer. We don’t have to let this current crisis get the best of us OR the rest of us. There is too much life to live and too much love to give to let a single person, many persons, a single event, or many events to bring us down for the count. No way. Nobody can hold you down like that unless you let them. And I know how overpowering it can be when an overwhelming majority points you out to be the problem. Sure, you can analyze to death how you acted, what you did and didn’t do to be good enough, but at the end of the day it takes two to make or break two. Your mistakes can cause reactions in others that are also mistakes, so never carry the burden of guilt solely on your shoulders. Everyone is imperfect, so are you. You’re allowed to make mistakes, but you’re not allowed to directly hurt someone. If someone has done that to you, then that is their responsibility to uphold- NOT YOURS. Abuse is never excused, nor can it be justified by the victim’s (your) involvement. Perhaps some traumas are so sharp and painful that you may require social services to rectify them in your mind and treat. Psychiatry and psychology are both very helpful fields of medical and therapy treatment to allow you to venture your mental roadblocks and work out any underlying causes of the trauma you’re dealing with. But never give up on yourself because you are not alone. Exhaust every source of assistance you can before you think about pulling the trigger. Because you’re worth more than a premature casket and the people you love mourning your loss, because it WOULD BE a loss. A lot of people in that mode of suicide think to themselves what a gain it would be for the world if they were gone. This is simply a myth brought on by the internal dialogue of self-hatred trying to pressure you into the permanent solution you’re vying for a temporary problem. Yes, another cliche, I totally know it but I can completely own it. I’ve been through every single step of the process of trying to heal myself, give up on myself, break myself some more, and cause more problems in the process of trying to fix other problems. I’m pretty much the Queen of self-hating self-blaming self-destruction. So I consider myself an authority on the matter even if I currently lack the initials to be so. Never give in to what you’re hearing, never give up on yourself, and always always hold onto even the slightest hope that you can get through this.

One day I hope I can spread these words to the world because in the mass aftermath of the Netflix Series 13 Reasons Why being viewed by teens and preteens alike, there is a very strong possibility that they may feel more likely to attempt suicide from the graphic and inadvertent glamorization the show and the book had on the subject. This is purely my opinion and I hope mere speculation rather than fact, but there is an underlying notion implied by the plot of the novel that Hannah is exacting revenge on everyone by naming them one by one on the tapes- which is another huge myth that suicide thinkers believe: “I’ll show them, everyone will be sorry when I’m gone”.

If you found this blog by googling the show, or trying to find a post on suicide and you have no one to talk to, I am always available by commenting on this blog or an anonymous message on the contact page. If you’d like to correspond via e-mail, please leave an address for me to reply to. Never go through it alone if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or risky, reckless behavior like speeding, breaking the law, substance abuse, or sexual promiscuity. Putting your life and others’ at risk is never the answer, and certainly neither is ending it completely.

I’m only 24 hours out of the mental trap of feeling suicidal, but I feel uplifted from that dark moment already. Thank you to those who were there for me, I’m sincerely so grateful. You know who you are.

And thank you to those who showed me how heartless and cruel you can be. Your true colors allowed me to find my truth on my own instead of relentlessly seeking your non-existent approval in vain. I very much look forward to surrounding myself with like-minded, like-loving people who know how to unconditionally accept someone who may be flawed, but has so much more to offer the world than your coldness does.

Thank you for reading this, and have a safe weekend. :) & always remember:

13 Reasons Why NOT. To say I was triggered by this show is an understatement. Its mere power of suggestion was enough to push me off the ledge of the very dark place I was in this week.

[thepinkperipatetic]

Barcelona in two days

Barcelona is the capital and largest city of Catalunya--the second most populous municipality of Spain. It is known for its marvelous wonders by architect Antonio Gaudi.  Gaudí spent most of his life in Barcelona and the city boasts the largest concentration of his works in the world. Gaudi's  presence is felt throughout the city and was like nothing I've ever seen before.

We had 7 days in Europe for our past trip--2 full days of which were spent in "the city of Gaudi". We were initially a little nervous about going to Barcelona due to the recent Catalonia independence referendum - the last thing we wanted was to be caught in the middle of a riot or unrest. Luckily, we didn’t encounter any unpleasantness. If it wasn’t for all the “democracia” & Catlunya flags hanging everywhere, we wouldn’t have guessed that only a few weeks earlier the city was in turmoil with protests & riots. 

Overall Barcelona was lovely - the locals were nice but not the most hospitable (more on that later). The city was a mix of modern, gothic, and grunge. I wanted to make sure we hit the main touristy attractions but also have time to explore and see what the city has to offer. We made sure to get lost along the way - in my opinion, that is the best way to really get to know a new place. So here it is: my complete guide to Barcelona!

To start, I want to mention our hotel: We stayed at the Room Mate chain hotel (I had heard about it from a Facebook friend who stayed there) - picked Anna due to its location and price. For $120 CAD a  night we got a superb room, artsy and comfortable with all the amenities, including a porch. The hotel got rave reviews on Trip advisor and booking.com. I booked it directly through the hotel website to avoid any surprise fees and didn't have to pay until our stay was complete. The staff was very helpful - answered all of questions and provided a map when asked. My only critique (and this applies to most of the locals we encountered)  is that they weren't warm. There's a difference between people that are nice and helpful when required and those that are inviting and go out of their way to accommodate even when not needed. We found that overall the locals seem to avoid tourists and didn't care to engage in friendly banter.  This was fine with me--I usually prefer to be left alone , but it was very different from our experience in Italy so had to take note. Our hotel was in the shopping and trendy district of Barcelona, their Soho equivalent, neighboring Burberry & Casa Batlo, which was great because we crossed off two things from our list immediately upon arrival. 

We divided our days in morning and afternoon. The mornings we spent on visiting planned attractions while the afternoons were spent wandering the city and getting lost. I've been posting pictures from the city on Instagram so be sure to check them out!  

1. The Sagrada Familia - a 20 min walk from our hotel was amazing. I've seen a lot of churches and basilicas in Italy, Quebec, Paris, Germany & London - but nothing compared to the Sagrada. From the moment I laid my eyes on the exterior I was engrossed. Every small detail, crater and face stands out and is mesmerizing. We purchased tickets online to see the inside a few days before our planned visit - 15 euros a person for the basic entrance. You pick a time slot to enter and therefore get to skip the queue at the attraction to purchase tickets. We went in Novemeber which is a low season for tourist- no cruise ships - so the lines weren't extremely long anyways. With the pre-purchsed tickets we were inside within a few minutes. The inside of the Sagrada initially felt like a spaceship to me. The long pillars and hollowness caught me a little off guard (it's not what I am accustomed to for a basilica) but eventually , as you walk further in and see the beautiful stained glass windows and the statue of Jesus hanging from thin air - it's hard not to be amazed. We spent about an hour exploring the corners inside and out of the church and then walked through the Museum before exiting. It's a definitely must visit for anyone visiting Barcelona for the first time. 

2. Las Ramblas - about a 7-10 min walk from our hotel is a stretch consumed with stores and restaurants on either side, and a large pedestrian walkway running in the middle of the street. A great place to get a gelato and people watch. It starts (on the North side) from across the Magic Fountain of Montjuïc (Placa de Catalunya)  passing by museums, a marketplace (La Boqueria) and ends at the Christopher Columbus Monument at Port Vel. During the 1.2 km walk expect to pass through artists, musicians and buskers. Oh, and a lot of people asking if you wanted "ganja" . This area is often very congested and boasts a lot of places to eat, however don't be fooled by the menus and hosts trying to lure you in--you can get better food for half the price if you walk off to a smaller street - away from the main path. During our stay , we must have walked across Las Ramblas a handful of times - it's a great starting point to wander off and explore the smaller connecting streets, which lead to neighbourhoods off the beaten path. It's how we unknowingly ended up at the Gothic quarter of Barcelona.

3. The Gotchic quarter (Barri Gotic) - an area with Italian influence makes you feel like you are in an entirely different city compared to the reingst of Barcelona. It is at the centre of the old city of Barcelona. There are several museums, churches, souvenirs shops and of course restaurants that make up the area - but the surrounding castle wall makes it a very unique area of Barcelona that must be explored!

4. Park Guell - a public park system composed of gardens and architectural elements is one of the major works of Gaudi.  It sits on top of a hill - about an hour and half walk uphill from Las Ramblas and our hotel. In order to save time and energy , we took a cab instead of walking- a 9 euros cab ride each way. Entrance to the park area of the Guell is free - but you must purchase tickets to Gaudi House and/or to see Monumental hill (which is an area comprised of several Gaudi masterpieces and the classic wavy mosaic wall background for  picture). We didn't do the Gaudi house museum but did pre-purchase tickets for Monumental hill -  a must do in our opinion, to really take in Gaudis work. The tickets were $7 euros each (and additional $5.50 euros for the Museum if interested). Similar to the Sagrada you can purchase tickets online for a specific time  ( we selected 11 am).  This gave us some time beforehand to walk through the free parts of the park where I got great pictures of parrots! You can't miss the sound of their squawks--they are very loud! If you look closely there are a few in every palm tree along the main dirt path. I used my Nikon to zoom in really close and get very cool shots. At the Monumumental hill, we took in Gaudi's artistic mosaic work and of course got a picture in front of the wavy, vibrant wall foregrounding the architectural masterpieces .

5 -Arc de Triompf  &  Cuitadella Park – a 17 min walk south east from our hotel. The path leading from the arc to and through the park was very relaxing. Walking through we saw kids and couples just enjoying a great sunny day in Barcelona - picnicking , strolling or simply sitting and singing along the many musicians playing their instruments. We found it to be very pleasant. Because of the time that we were there , it wasn't very busy with tourists which was refreshing. Durring the stroll we passed by the Picasso museum and the Barcelona Zoo.

6 & 7 - Casa Batlo & Casa Millia -  a few steps from our hotel (Batlo was right beside and Millia was a block north). Both are open to the public for ticket purchasers. Tickets are available only for specific time slots like the other attractions. We chose not to purchase tickets to see the inside, although if we had more time I would have liked to see the inside of Batlo based on other pictures I have seen. But with Guell and Sagrada, we got a good dose of Gaudi so didn't feel it necessary to spend more money on the interior of the buildings. Casa Batlo was the more impressive of the two buildings from the outside in our opinion. I would recommend seeing it both durring the day and at night- the purple and blue lights hitting the building after the sun went down made it look like a totally different structure. I'll say it again, Gaudi's style is nothing like I've ever seen before (or will probably see again). It feels like from another world and you stop and stare helplessly. There you have it - we were able to squeeze everything in 2 days without feeling rushed. I would say that you need up to 3 days top--if you wanted to really go slow. We felt the 2 days were perfect for us. Spain is a country I haven't explored much and would want to come back to--perhaps not Barcelona itself but central and southern Spain next time. Also, because we were there in November, it was too cold to do anything beach related. I have read that Barcelona is home to some really great beaches, which would have possibly required an additional day or two. 

If you're planning on going to Barcelona any time soon, feel free to contact me for additional information or tips-- I would be glad to help - xoxo Erum :)

[lbstudieo]

Confused

Here is my three cents on several subjects.

# Assuming you did not have a compulsion disorder before you joined the Army, you most likely did after you had been there a while. A person could walk into the barracks, open all foot locker's and see they were organized exactly the same. Socks, T-shirts, etc folded and lined up. Right down to the razor and soap. Beds made to look the same. Shoes under the bed and laundry bag all lined up. Open a standing locker and you would see the same care was taken here also. Winter uniform's, summer uniform's and work clothes as well as shirts, all the same.

We wore our hats exactly alike, hands never in the pockets. All buttons buttoned. We stood in formation, marched and exercised exactly alike.

To this day I hang my clothes up the same way and am very uncomfortable with my hands in my pockets. Is that compulsive?

# Cats: Have yo ever owned a cat? No one has. You never own a cat. You are its servant. Cats work hard to train its human. Lets not disappoint them.

# Dogs: When I meet a dog for the first time I am not thinking about it's breed. I am trying to see if it will harm me. The same goes for any pet. Much like I do when meeting strangers. Are some breeds more dangerous? Could be. But I am more inclined to be concerned about the owner. If the owner is nasty, expect the dog to be so. Dogs will react to the way they are treated. They can sense a good person & know a bad person when they see one.

# From the time I was about 6 or 7 yrs old I discovered the printed word. Prior to that, I knew there were things in a comic book I did not understand. But I was more interested in the pictures than I was to read about superman’s home life. Pictures were good enough for me. Then I found out some books did not have pictures. Imagine my surprise! I could not understand the story. It may have been a very good cowboy story and I would never know how it turned out. From that moment on I needed to learn how to read. I wanted to know how the story ended. I buckled down to learn how to read.

Little did I know I was to go on to learn how to write. That was just as hard. After I started the learning process, the adults expected me to learn other things. Every since that time long ago I have been learning. Sometimes by studying, other times by doing. I disliked the whole idea of school but many times the learning by doing was much harder. For example when I decided to learn to ride a horse, which was not one of my brighter moments.

Of course I thought the best time to do so would be during school time. I did not know how to get on top of one let alone not to pick such a big one. But there were only so many horses available. Namely just one. A big one. After getting on top of one, I learned that day just how hard a plowed field was when a youngster falls onto it from a great height. It also hurt when I got home and it was found out I had skipped class.

Sometimes it hurts to learn something new.

# Insane world leaders such as the one in N. Korea must be stopped for the good, and survival, of humanity. There are others. It took awhile but Hitler was stopped. Most of the world got together and said enough. Let's not take so long with the current crop of insane leaders.

# If you are one of those people that thinks mankind has not affected Mother Earth, you need to get out more. Get away from all those indoor toys. Take a walk in the woods. Oh that's right, the woods were cut down. Well, go out at night and look at the stars. Can't see them due to all the artificial lights? How about a fishing trip. Oh yeah I forgot, fish are disappearing. The ones left are not fit to eat. How about a swim in the lake? What, afraid of the oil slicks and other pollution? What about a drive in the country. What do you mean the price of gas is out of your budget....No Respect.

# If you are one of those that think HAMAS & other fanatical groups are a friendly religious organization you are delusional at best. But you are tolerant so turn the other cheek. If you do so they will not only slap it but, if you are lucky, put you in chains. The other option you may wish for at some time. Their sole purpose appears to be to convert or KILL those not of their religion or ethnic group. Kill is preferred. Man, woman or child. Makes no difference to them. All in the name of God. Maybe the same one you pray to. As long as they continue to be organized they will not stop. But stopped they must be. Cut a snakes head off and it dies. Our world leaders must be strong & do the right thing.

# LGBT: This is the first opinion I have given about this subject and I hope it is my last. First, I am heterosexual and proud of it.

Fact; the parents of non-heterosexuals love their children no matter their orientation.

Fact: you can't get “gayness” from another person. A handshake, a hug or pat on the back will not harm you. They are born that way. If this upsets you, you are wrong.

As long as they are not asking your dumb heterosexual ass for a date what do you care what orientation anyone is? I dare say LGBT's are not sexually interested in heterosexuals and are as law-abiding as the rest of society.

Whether you know it or not, you interact with non-hetero's every day. At work, play or even members of your own family or extended family & friends. They are not always identifiable by looks, actions, dress or speech. They are a fact in all walks of life. I dare say not one profession is truly heterosexual.

It is theorized we had a non-heterosexual president. Did anyone leave the country because he may have not been “normal”? Of course not.

The idea companies are “gay” or “going gay” is asinine. Makes no sense. Are all their employees “gay”? Would you stop going to church because you think some one in the clergy, somewhere, is not “normal”? The answer to those questions are “no”.

Companies are non-sexual by definition. Company's publish policies about sexual issues because it is required. I dare say every company has such a policy. Very few make it public. If you chose not to do business with a certain company that's your choice. Doing so because you think the company is “gay” is not rational, but that's your choice also.

The people you need to be concerned about are the rapist, child molesters, etc. They are far more dangerous. And predatory. But thank goodness, because they are born that way, you can't catch that sickness either.

That's my thoughts and I am sticking to it.

# Now is the time for strong leaders that will work for the people. The more I read about our national law makers, the more I am convinced the two major political parties (machine) are at war with each other. This must stop or we as a nation will fall apart. Politicians are currently doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons. They are in fear of their jobs. As they should be. So they make terrible decisions. They are working for their own interest and the interest of the money supporters. They must get back to doing what the majority of the people want. If not our nation will go down in flames.

Our borders are being invaded. Big time. We are having a border war with Mexico. If you do not believe those statement's you live in your own little (perhaps insane) world. Illegals entering our Nation from the south must stop. Our neighbors from the north are not fighting to mass move to the U.S.A. We can not support the whole world. We can not solve the problems of, nor shelter, the whole world. We should not want to. We, as a nation, must survive.

“An estimated 11 million or more immigrants are living illegally in the United States, many of them for years or even decades. They work, go to school and otherwise participate in American society even though they broke the law coming here and lack papers allowing them to stay.

An increase in tougher enforcement laws and resources without any corresponding legal remedies for undocumented immigrants led to the huge illegal population.”

This crisis needs to be solved a.s.a.p.. It is a huge strain on our resources. Allowing them to stay is not a solution. We need strong leadership that will close our borders & take action to force immigrants to apply for citizenship lawfully.

# UFO: Unidentified flying object. Have you seen one?

Me neither.

Why do these objects, presumably from some other planet, need to fly around our planet with their driving lights on? If they need lights, one can assume they are humanoid AND in some degree smarter than the average Earth Bear. I would assume they have ways to determine if they are going to run into something that far exceeds the use of lights. Do they want the attention we give them? Are they trying to attract us much like moths to a light or flame?

They have to be smarter in terms of space travel than we are. After all, they have traveled across space to visit us. But what is “us”.

Are we a living zoo or vacation spot for others to visit? Are they here to observe the “wild” Earthlings in their natural habitat? A scientific sample dish to be studied? Maybe we are a different kind of space ship traveling thru time and space. On a voyage so long it takes a living environment to make the trip. For what purpose?

Are they coming by once in a while to check-up on our archaic voyage? Hoping one day to announce our arrival at our final destination?

I would propose we, planet earth, are a living time capsule. Stocked and started on a long voyage to our final destination by those who had a funny sense of humor. The planet “seeded” with stock of all types. Some mysterious items were also left here for us to find and try to solve not only what there are but how were they constructed. Example the pyramids in Egypt and in South America as well as many other places. As well as many other mysteries.

When we finally discover the answers to these many clues, we will be at our final destination. And be welcomed to our earthly future.

# My experience has been life changes and we need to adapt, persevere & move on. Some decisions come easy. Others will be agonizing. I would not have chosen the path I was given. I would have chosen to remain on the farm my entire life. Although I never returned to farming, to this day I miss those good, simple & hard working times on the farm. We do not always get to live the life we want. We live the life we are dealt.

If you think farming is hard work during the '50's, you would be right. You got up early to do chores before breakfast. Milking the herd of cows may be done without milking equipment, by hand if you will. No automatic machinery to muck out the barns. All done by back breaking labor.

Back in the day, work was done during daylight hours because farm equipment were not known to have lights. Many did not have batteries. The motors ran off of magneto's. A comfortable cab on a piece of farm equipment was unheard of. Perhaps not invented yet. The farmer was exposed to Bees, Flies, rain, snow, cold, wind, sunshine, dirt and anything else you can think of. A large tractor may have as much 60 hp! They were rated per the size of the plow they could pull. 2 bottom 14 inch, 3 bottom 16 inch, etc. If you saw one with a radio, it was a luxury. Some times a farmer would attache an umbrella for sun protection.

Farmers could not always hire an extra hand to help so they made do. One innovation was an “A” frame draw bar welded to the combine in such a way as to be able to pull a grain wagon along to empty the hopper into. A combine harvested grain. Nothing else. Not like the “Harvesters” of today which harvest most everything using different attachments.

Farmers were the inventors of their day.

[thegrumpypenguin]

  Charlotte tackles Levy who is trying to play with one of their Keepers

  2017’s “Baby Boom!” calendar

Last year, for the first time, I created two calendars. There had been so many adorable babies born in 2015-16 that I really wanted to feature photos of them; however, it didn’t seem fair to my “regulars” to change the calendar format to exclusively babies and melding babies and adults together didn’t really make me very happy, so I decided to make one “normal” calendar and one dedicated to just babies and let everyone decide for themselves which they’d prefer. It was a resounding success, so this year I decided to have a second choice again. I was really hoping to make the “Option B” calendar one full of photos of the Toronto Zookeepers at work, but I knew I’d want to get each Keeper’s permission before using a photo of them and I simply ran out of time once the “regular” calendar was finished. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure I was going to make any calendars for 2018 but I was convinced by a great many friends to continue the tradition, and so I did – but I got rather a late start. In any event, once it became clear there would not be time to do the Keeper Calendar, I decided to put out another edition full of nothing but baby animals. The problem was, there simply weren’t enough births in Toronto in 2017 to fill 12 months, so I used photos from various other Zoos as well – and some from birds who wander the grounds of the Toronto Zoo, both in their collection and “non-inventory” types.

There was, however, a “mini=explosion” of babies (10 in all) within the family Felidae – and all of them born within a period of just over two weeks. Here, then, is the story of not the first to be born, but the first to be featured in this year’s calendar: the clouded leopards.

  Levy at two months

On May 11 of last year, CUPE Local 1600 Zookeepers Union went out on strike, taking with it all the non-management personnel from every department at the Toronto Zoo. Cheetah babies had been born to Laini on April 30 (more about them in a later post), but two more births were imminent: snow leopards were due to Ena and clouded leopards from Pavarti. As reported by ZooBorns last June (warning: click on that link at your own risk as you might faint from the cuteness), the birth of clouded leopard cubs was to be the first time ever in Toronto and it must have been nearly unbearably hard for Pavarti’s Keepers to hit the bricks right before the big event. But in the end, the Greater Good prevailed and so it was that the May 13 arrival of the “cloudie sisters” was handled by Supervisors and Health Centre Management.

  Charlotte in the early days (PC: Toronto Zoo)

All went well in the very beginning, but soon it became apparent that Pivarti, a first-time mom, was beginning to abandon the wee ones. Veterinary staff stepped in and gave the kittens fluids for the better part of 24 hours, but finally decided – when one cub began to “crash” to move them to the Health Centre to be hand-raised… assuming, that is, that they survived the next couple of days. This is where the story takes an incredible turn; I could write an entire blog piece on just this incident, but in the interests of moving this story along I will simply lay out the events as I understand them – and I have received my information firsthand, so I have no reason whatsoever to doubt its veracity.

  CUPE 1600 Press Conference (PC: CBC)

If you clicked on the ZooBorns link or on the photo in the preceding paragraph, you will have been given the information that the Zoo had developed a clouded leopard hand-rearing protocol for just such a situation, based on best-practices shared by other Zoos with experience hand-raising these animals. What you will not have been told is that the woman in the photo at right who is standing nearest to the photo of the clouded kittens is the Vet Tech who developed that very protocol. In other words, she literally “wrote the book” for the Toronto Zoo. And, unfortunately, she was on strike when the cubs were rushed to the Health Centre. It was at this point that someone in the Zoo’s upper management (I’ve never been completely clear who it was) reached out to that very same Vet Tech and asked her to get permission to cross the lines and help save these babies. Permission was immediately granted, and in the wee small hours of May 15, she entered the Health Centre and began to perform her life-saving magic which she continued for the next eight hours or so. When she left the building, the kittens were out of the woods and, other than the discovery of a heart murmur in Levy last autumn, have progressed wonderfully and without incident ever since then.

  Look at those booties!!

It’s been nearly a year since all that happened and I still am in awe of the teamwork and bipartisanship in that story. I mentioned the later discovery of Levy’s heart murmur; at left is her sister, Charlotte, undergoing an ultrasound in December (pictured is Dr. Pauline Delnatte) to provide a baseline before Levy was probed a few minutes later. We were lucky enough to be granted access to the first procedure as Zoo Members, but we had to leave the viewing area before Levy made her appearance as the shift of the Volunteer who was accompanying us was coming to an end. The towel wrapped around her tail, the little booties/socks placed over all four of her feet, the image of Keeper Ryan hovering over the whole thing like a mother hen – all of these things helped make for a fascinating and enriching experience that day.

  Squeeeeee!

The very first glimpse I got of the babies was actually a fluke. The brand-new Wildlife Health Centre was being prepared to be open to the public on the Canada Day weekend last summer, and before that happened there were preview days – first for Staff and Volunteers, then two days for Members leading into the weekend. I showed up right at 2:00 on the first day (the earliest we could get in) with my friend, Sue Maynard, who wrote a couple of guest posts on my other blog a few years back. On our travel through the “Behind the Scenes” areas of the WHC, we happened upon a Volunteer friend of mine. After a moment of casual chitchat he said to us, “Oh, by the way, if you’re interested, I think they’re feeding the clou–” and that’s as far as he got. I left a vapour trail behind me as I raced from there to the nursery near the back of the building and pressed myself up against the glass to watch the Vet Techs take care of the two tiny, wriggling, always-moving little balls of brown and black and pink and fur and okay I have to stop typing because I’m melting into a puddle just thinking about them. As the area in front of the windows began to fill up, Sue reached me and we stood there together off to one side for the entire feeding. There was a Staffer there who was telling everyone not to take any pictures, but of course the only one listening to him was yours truly and it was very frustrating indeed. Sue came to the rescue, though: at one point she tapped me on the arm, pointed at her phone, and said, “I got you covered.” The photo here is one of the two she sent me from their post-feeding presentation to the crowd; clearly, she absolutely had me covered. Because their feeding schedule was regular (every three hours) I knew they’d be getting another session with the Techs at 2:00 the next day, so I returned – this time with Sarah – and once again stood off to the side so I could stay as long as I wanted. And before I left the area, Amanda (one of the Indo Keepers who saw me there) brought Charlotte over to my window area as a special treat (most of the displays were in the centre window). She held Charlotte on the ledge near my face and I locked eyes with the fur baby. She opened up her beautiful little pink mouth and meowed at me. I don’t recall much of the day after that!

  Levy makes a public appearance

Eventually, they grew strong enough to leave the Health Centre and they were moved to their new home in the exhibit which formerly housed the lion-tailed macaques, across from the greater one-horned rhino house and beside the Malayan Woods pavilion. For the first few months there they would need constant supervision while out on exhibit (they could stay inside the house on their own) to make sure they didn’t fall from any great heights or get stuck anywhere. Furthermore, having a Keeper or two (or three or four – they were very popular!) often helped to get them out of their cubbyhole and out into view. Well, it helped get one of them out, at least: Levy. She loved to play with the humans; her sister only came out after her to play with her. Also, they only came out for an hour at a time, twice a day (if memory serves, they were out from 11:30-12:30 and then 2:30-3:30). So I made darn sure I was there at 11:30 on August 27, when they made their public debut. The photos I took that day were not fantastic – it was crowded and the exhibit is not well-lit under the roof – but one of the better ones is featured here, above left.

  The sisters make friends everywhere

By the way, about those names: the one named “Levy” was given that moniker as a joke nickname because of what appeared to be bushy eyebrows on her face (an affectionate nod to Canadian comedy legend Eugene Levy). It wasn’t supposed to stick; in fact, the Keepers thought there would be a naming contest for the sisters. Once their names (Levy and Charlotte) appeared in print in an edition of the Member’s Magazine Wild for Life, it was pretty much a done deal, much to the dismay of the Keeper who gave them their names in the first place. It’s also been difficult dissuading people of the notion that Levy is a boy, so there’s that, too. But, to the cats’ credit, they took to their names and definitely respond to them when called. Of course, it’s more often that Levy will respond than Charlotte. She’s still the one who prefers humans. As they’ve grown, it’s become harder to tell them apart. In the photo here, Levy is on the left: she still has a little “smudge” of extra eyebrows, whereas even though Charlotte’s are quite pronounced as well, hers are quite a bit “sharper” and point down rather than across.

  Tara and Charlotte

Well, at this point I’m basically just looking through all my photos and trying to work out if I have any more stories to tell about the cubs. And it occurs to me that, story or no story, I have enough photos to keep you reading this post for probably the next week or so. I guess I’ll have to whittle the choices down a bit a present another “mosaic” for you to look at. If  you still crave more shots after this piece is done – and you have a Facebook account – you can find many more from the middle of February 2018 onward via my site “The Grumpy Penguin.” Any pictures from before that time were posted on my personal Facebook site; because I made most of my albums “Public” you can access them without having to “friend” me, but you do need a Facebook account (or access to someone else’s).

First, though, I want to show you that it’s not always “fun and games” when the “kittens” you’re playing with possess extremely sharp claws for climbing. Here’s Keeper Sarah trying to convince Levy (I think) not to pounce on her. Let’s see how that worked out!

    Nice hands, Sarah!

Well, it’s going to be extremely difficult choosing just a few photos to display as I leave you here. I know for sure I’m going to come back and look at this next array several times and wondering why I didn’t choose such-and-such a photo, but that’s the way it goes. I hope you like the ones I’ve picked out for you. Next month: a shot taken at a different Toronto-based Zoo, of a baby with “celebrity” parents. Thanks for keeping up! See you in June!

    Postscript: I was right. I ended up with 52 photos in that mosaic. Don’t judge me.

Home 2018 Calendars Calendar Posts Contact 2018 “ANOTHER BABY BOOM!” Calendar – May Story Last year, for the first time, I created two calendars. There had been so many adorable babies born in 2015-16 that I really wanted to feature photos of them; however, it didn't seem fair to my "regulars" to change the calendar format to exclusively babies and melding babies and adults together didn't really make me very happy, so I decided to make one "normal" calendar and one dedicated to just babies and let everyone decide for themselves which they'd prefer.

[justforustravel-blog]

Vienna Center for Culture and the Arts - #Austria, #HistoryMuseum, #Sachertorte, #StStephenSCathedral, #StephansplatzSquare, #Travel, #TravelGuide, #Vienna, #ViennaAirport, #ViennaTravelGuide

New Post has been published on http://justforustravel.com/2017/10/08/vienna-center-for-culture-and-the-arts/

Vienna Center for Culture and the Arts

Vienna travel guide

Vienna, Austria’s capital and the most populous city. 415 km2 and has a population of 1.9 million. Measurement a hundred, looking at think that it’s a small city, and very short if you plan a trip, be sure to experience a big regret on the day of return. Because of the enormous artifacts of the city each Street and each corner is filled with places where you can spend time without getting bored. Gotta at least from a cultural aspect to this city exceptionally beautiful or architectural advice from my side to plan a trip 7 night.

Vienna’s transportation

let’s get transportation in Vienna, especially for people who will be abroad for the first time it’s hard and scary I can imagine. You know, it’s not like cities as Vienna but it sure is in every area of the city, even the subway stations and subway lines to a street made of separate exaggerating, all I can say. Named with the symbol numbered according to the region where u will go to metro lines U1 , U2. The subway line being connected to each other due to the numbers without even looking to ride any subway line will take you to definitely by making a transfer to where you want to go. Subways are usually empty and making it available to sit in for a period of more than 5 min a new one is coming. In the same way on the surface of the city tram lines, which allows them to provide transportation to each area is available on 0-1-2-3. Ours does not have a tourniquet system as we are used at metro stops. So your hands and arms shaking all subways, trains and trams you can ride. But never, ever, ever do that again don’t. Binislik Metro stop at only every 48 hours , 36 hours and weekly tickets are sold. Since there is a language option on some machines you can easily buy. Located at the entrances of subway stations to one unit at a time it will be enough to stamp your ticket. In summary, Vienna’s where don’t think of how far I could go, every place in one metro stop. Many car rental companies available, you can easily rent a car and explore places outside of Vienna.

  a map of the Vienna Metro

  Vienna’s accommodation

as I mentioned above, the most central point transportation within the city is very easy as you don’t necessarily need to select for your stay. You can stay anywhere that fits your budget. Air BNB for accommodation, we’we preferred yi. Unlimited home options available in our home and room with beautiful views of the subway, we were lucky to stay right at the foot of.

  Vienna’s eat – Drinking

the variety of the Turkish cuisine, flavors and proud to say here. But Vienna’s also does have its own flavor. Sure the first thing you hear when you start to do research the Vienna Schnitzel Vienna. World’Introducing or Schnitzel come to this city and would not eat. Very ambitious in a way like I have eaten a schnitzel in my life I can say I ate here. The master was also famous Figlmuller Schnitzel. Chickens and pigs has the option. We preferred the chicken one, and he was a legend! Movies that are very close to each other it’s passage I’d advise you to choose one. But like I said, they are a myth, therefore, necessarily Turkey’s make your reservation before they leave the den. Apfelstrudel; Yes, Vienna’s world’s gained or another flavor. This is the perfect dessert cafe is a registered. Excellent coffee and sweet varieties, both in Vienna, you’s also 1900’Lu, a historic Cafe that will take years. So, Vienna’s one of the most famous pedestrian streets

Sachertorte; Vienna’s another famous dessert. This chocolate Paradise made famous Café de “Sacher”. Unfortunately I didn’t have time to go to this cafe after spending 8 days. But with all these sweets you can find all the cafés in Vienna for ozdeslestik. So I did and it is really good, I recommend.

Cafe Sperl; immediately before sunrise watching the movie carefully, the audience will remember. It lives a long time a legend that two lovers cafe. Vienna we’s when we went either, first it was here in the cafe we were looking for. Dishes , drinks and desserts very good, but the atmosphere was unspoilt fascinates us. You can reach this place with 3-4 minute walk down in the subway station Museumsquartier.

Cafe Central; maybe Vienna’s most famous restaurants. During the day, mostly in the front we saw that there was a line. Like all the other restaurants, the delicious dessert and coffee is waiting for you. But with a difference, accompanied by a live piano recital!

all this is available in melange cafe named coffee, if like me if you like mild Coffee, you can drink the cup of the cup. I love very much. Wandering away from the buffet corner, you have the possibility even drinking.

similar to a large number of bakery and pastry available in the US. You can make both breakfast and within days, a relatively small place where you can get dessert and coffee and the prices are very reasonable.

places

Yes, now that we know how to feed ourselves, now we can’t finish writing Vienna’s attractions and sights to we can move on. As soon as I say writing, because in each corner magnificent monuments,statues and museums are waiting for you. We start we must.

Vienna; Austria’s largest Summer Palace of the Habsburg dynasty dynasty is referred to as. I think as the house built by Maria Theresa, the garden is also worth a visit.For 16 euros you can visit the inside of the palace with the electronic guide. Both dynastic and famous monuments and lots of information about you can reach the Queen side. Europe in the big garden of the Palace’s one of the oldest zoos. There is an entrance fee. Also available in a grass maze. I would definitely recommend if you have your child with you if you try. The house and garden with gorgeous landscaping and a spectacular work.

St. Stephen’s Cathedral (Stephansdom) ; Stephansplatz Square, the massive Cathedral. Entry is free but a small fee if you want to go to the top and make a course, you must provide city. Especially I advise to visit all the streets in Stephansplatz square.

St. Stephen’s Cathedral

the Hofburg Palace ; the Winter Palace of the Habsburg dynasty and the main. Covering a large area, especially I recommend to visit the museum inside the Palace Sisi.

Belvedere Palace ; present this palace is a palace which was the Dodger with the success of the Ottoman siege commander. As much as I’m concerned is a spectacular place to Garden. Already Vienna’s also nice to have a garden that you will encounter the most beautiful thing for every house.

Karlskirche , Karl Church ; which you can listen to a classical music concert in Vienna with extraordinary architecture’s also one of the works will not be returned without being seen. There is a beautiful pool in front. As you can see from the picture, especially in the evenings in frontreputation is very pleasant to spend time in. Paid concerts was given by a small group in the immediate area as you can come to coincide with a free concert.

hostel accommodation; is a region which we know is very similar to the field Sunday. Thin, in an area long occupied by shops on both sides, and most of them Turkish field Sunday in the shop of the seller. Vienna’s outside of the usual image is very, very authentic, a current of air. Vienna’s a must-see while you’re in either place.

Vienna’s Art History Museum ; Vienna’s also the name you’ll hear often commissioned by the king Frank Joseph, Vienna’s most visited Museum. I can’t count right now in so many valuable artifacts are located I would recommend a visit to this museum.

Hundertwasser ; Vienna’s partly an apartment in the poor district. It was restored by a famous architect and brought to its present form. By tram it is possible to pass in front.

Stadtpark ; Vienna’s every corner is surrounded by parks, and, I think, among them one of the most beautiful Stadtpark. There is a natural pond. Swans and ducks in the pond are flying freely. So much of the park and the pond to see the ducks flying from one to the other it’s very natural. A duck with the sound of the squirrels running around this park if you want to walk while you don’t don’t pass.

How do I get to?

Vienna’or scheduled aircraft from Vienna airport approximately 2 hours 10 minutes from our country’can be reached by a flight of. From the airport to the city centre, the cat (City airport train) is the so-called round-trip fee of 19 Euro you can reach by taking a ticket. At the same time it is possible to choose the bus, but my advice due to both the comfort and ease, the cat.

In summary, the transportation is very easy in Vienna , not too crowded , chirping in each corner parks , historical monuments , statues , palaces and museums surrounded by a city steeped in art and history.

[blogagog-blog1]

Fear: Pt 2

Read Fear Pt. 1 To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. - Joseph Chilton Pearce

Okay, I need to be serious for a second. Before going any further, I wanted to share something that I think is infinitely important and we should all take note of.

...Fear was back from his piss break in like, 10 seconds. And you know what they say: He who pees quick, got a small - sorry, what was that, ref? Game on in 3, 2, 1...now? Okay. 

Let’s go, bitch.

Ourselves.

I’m acutely aware of the first instance where fear sashayed in and said “Stop what you’re doin’ cuz I’m about to ruin.”1 After realising my love of music was more than the average appreciation of a pretty tune, I borrowed a classical guitar and learned the My First Rock Tunes™ Starter Pack: Cranberries’ ‘Zombie’, Nirvana’s ‘Come As You Are’ etc. By the time I finally got an electric, I was into insane guitarists like Eric Johnson and Steve Vai. This may have been...unfortunate. See, this was right around the time ol’ depression started poking around, and at this stage, I literally had no idea what was wrong with me. So the rampant self doubt just seemed like logic: the quantum leap from the beginner I was to these guys was clearly one I’d never accomplish. And so the guit’ had to sit.

Fast forward to today. I’m a pretty shit guitarist as far as real players go, but having been forced in the past bit to play in order to create my own music, I can do things I couldn’t dream of a year ago. Imagine if I’d started 15 years ago. Even 6 years ago...but at that point, the stance was: “Welp, it’s too late now.”

There’s that one famous quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Speaking solely for myself, I find that to be the biggest load of hippo poo ever written. What we are afraid of, Ms. Williamson,2 is falling flat on our faces and proving beyond a shadow of a doubt (instead of just having a strong suspicion) that we absolutely suck at the things most important to us.

I was trying to think of a metaphor, and for some reason, this (admittedly ridiculous) scenario popped into my head. Bear with me here. Imagine you’re 10 years old, and you see old footage of Jane Goodall on TV - just kicking it with the chimps. They’re signing amongst themselves about the tastiest banana strains, the best poop-throwing techniques and whatnot. Suddenly you have an epiphany: that’s what you want to do with your life. You dive into every primatology book you can find, you volunteer at the zoo - nothing can stop you, man. And then you attend your first kids’ ethology class - and you have no idea what’s going on. The other kids seem fine - but you’re just sucking up a storm. And then your Dad, whose words are immediately considered fact cuz, you know, you’re 10, mentions: “Oh wait, did nobody tell you? Chimpanzees fucking hate people with red hair. (Or named Theodore, or whatever applies to you.) So, that’s not going to work.”

Now, the fact is your Dad just wants you to be a doctor so you’ll be loaded and take care of him when he’s decrepit. But you don’t have any reason to doubt him, and since you’re pretty sure this is a done deal, why would you go through the pain of trying anyway? 

Or worse yet, maybe your Dad isn’t even telling you straight up - he’s whispering it in your ears when you’re asleep (Jesus Christ - your Dad is an ASSHOLE, dude). So now you’ve got this subconscious fear of failing at your Goodall-Goals - and although it never sits right, you’ve gone ahead and convinced yourself you’re dying to go to medical school and primatology was just a passing kid’s fancy. What I’m getting at is, you can dismiss some random hater telling you you’re going to suck. The voice in your head that you rely on daily to operate is harder to ignore - especially when it’s dropping the doubt bombs subconsciously.

Is there something you’re really passionate about? I don’t mean you like it oodles and bunches and arms-held-wide “diiiis much” - I mean it’s inexorably intertwined with fibre of your existence. If so, imagine diving head first into it and discovering, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you’re Absolutely No Good at it. That’s the underlying fear - how exactly do you reconcile that and move on?

Here’s the thing though. If you look around, that pretty much never happens. The folks who turn their passions into successes tell us over and over that after being useless at the beginning (just like us normies!), they told self-doubt to suck it and kept it trucking with absolute focus and belief. The majority of those who gave it their all and didn’t find outrageous success did have a great chapter of their life, which was hopefully followed by a different but equally sweet one. And sure, maybe circumstances derail deserving people sometimes. But the human (and kitty cat) condition of being afraid to put our toes in the water derails us a hell of a lot more.

But I’ve always tried to make the best of fear, because without fears, there’s no art. - Tracie Bennett

                                 Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck. I’m doing it but fuuuuuuck.

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream. - Paulo Coelho3

Most of the time, though, getting stuck in a questioning-your-qualities quagmire (bam. my alliteration game is lit af4) doesn’t have anything to do with some lofty goal. The challenge most of us face is simply being able to get out of our own way and experience - I mean really experience - life.  

We all know someone who is - well, stuck. Stuck in a dead-end job they hate, stuck in a relationship with an undeserving douche, or just stuck in neutral across the board. They’re bemoaning their current lot in life and you’re tearing your hair out pointing out all the moves they can make with the potential they have. Nothing crazy or overwhelming - just that small first step to get things moving. So if you can see it, and they can see it, what’s the prob, Bob?

This, I think, is a chance to out the annoyingly unblinking Fear (I’m starting to think this prick doesn’t have eyelids) on another one of his sneaky li’l techniques. Sure...when you’re just plain stuck, it’s depressing. Sure, you hate the fact that this is your life. But it’s a shitty life that you know. It sucks, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. This  new existence that these baby steps are supposed to bring - now that’s scary. What if, at some point, the Curb driver taking you through this new life (cuz it’s weird and unknown, so there’s no Uber or Lyft) drops you off in some fresh hell without so much as a Maps-enabled iPod? Without the tools to deal or road map to get out, there won’t be much to do except curl up in a fetal position and wait for your imminent demise. No siree, I’ll stick with my current conundrum. Final answer Regis, thankyouverymuch.

I honestly think this can be harder to push past than the fear of shooting for the stars. I know someone properly stuck in that place, and it’s heartbreaking how much of a struggle it is. And while I throw up in my mouth a little every time I get anywhere close to banal, overused bullshit or condescending platitudes, there’s no way around it: the only way to start moving out of this one is with those clichéd as Christ ‘small steps.’ If you know someone in that spot, and truly want to help, be prepared to be around and do some lifting. Because your feet can get heavy, man.

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. - That Nhat Hanh

I like when people compare or equate Fear with the devil. Mostly because I think a concept attributed to the latter 100% applies to the former as well. 

“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” 

Fear-The-Fuckface isn’t any less sneaky - in fact, I’d argue he’s more so. Sure, he’s loud and proud when it comes to us being terrified of spiders, air travel and Willem Dafoe. But when he’s doing the real nitty gritty of putting our lives on pause and trying to break us at our core, he slips on his Groucho Marx glasses and moustache to stay incognito. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, the trick is to recognise him and know that once we act, there ain’t shit he can do. I, for one, can assure you he’s real. He and his stupid face are staring me down right now. That’s okay. We got one more to go.

I just realised that when I initially pictured Fear in my mind yesterday, he bore a passing resemblance to Digital Underground’s Shock G. Swear to God. And in a rare bout of perfection, a search for a picture of him brought up this.

I have nothing against Marianne Williamson. She seems like an exceptional human being that has helped millions - I just really hate that quote. Of course, she’s the one that wasn’t afraid to write and publish ten works that have sold over 3,000,000 copies, so maybe I should shut the fuck up.

I’m aware I used this quote already. But it applies here too, and I do what I want, bruh.

Don’t ever say “ay-eff” to me in real life instead of “as fuck.” I will literally slap you.

[terrordave1]

I’m pretty sure I speak for every dinosaur fan over forty that JURASSIC PARK (1993) was a game changer. I was twenty-two years old when it premiered and remember being totally blown away at the site of realistic looking dinosaurs on the silver screen. I had no trouble whatsoever relating to Dr. Alan Grant as he fell to his knees, all teary from seeing his lifelong obsessions come to life. True, the character was seeing them in person and not in a theater like we were, but it was pure magic nonetheless. Nearly twenty-five years later, I was finally able to get a taste of what it would have been like to be Dr. Grant thanks to an official JURASSIC WORLD Universal Studios exhibition that made its way to the Field Museum of Natural History last month and is running through January 8, 2018.

The tickets were sold in time increments and I bought mine in advance online for a 5:00 pm showing on a Sunday evening. They weren’t cheap and just to do the exhibit costs $25 for adults, $20 for children, and $22 for seniors. So, contrary to what the ill-fated lawyer suggested in the first movie, there ain’t no “coupon day!” I believe, however, that if you’re going during normal museum normal hours, there’s probably a cheaper bundle option.

We showed up an hour early and parked in the main garage across the street ($22.00) before heading to the museum on foot. Incidentally, from a dinosaur lover perspective, I do highly recommend this museum. Not only is it home to the famed T-Rex, SUE, but also has an amazing “Evolving Planet” section that takes you on fossil journey five billion years in the making. I’m fortunate to live and have grown up about twenty minutes south and this has always been one of my favorite Chicago attractions. Having now visited many other natural history museums, I still consider this to be one of the greatest and, yes, I’ll cover it more in depth at a later date.

During normal Museum hours the exhibit can be accessed through the main building but, since we were there after closing, we had to walk around to a side entrance (if you’re facing the museum, go to your left where the big Brachiosaurus skeleton is displayed).

Please note that if you buy your tickets online it will say to just bring a valid ID to pick them up at will call but that’s not as easy as it sounds. Just to be on the safe side I printed my receipt anyway and it was a good thing I did because when I handed my ID to the guy running the register he gave me a weird look and informed me they “don’t give discounts to Illinois residents” (???) After I explained that I purchased my tickets in advance, he asked for the receipt so, bottom line, print em!

With our tickets in hand, we waited for our scheduled time before finally being directed down a walkway that advertised the animals living in the fictional park. This would eventually lead us to our “boat” that was to take us to the island, Isla Nublar. Personally, I thought this was a clever touch as it totally made me feel like I was participating in the movie. Before boarding, we had to pose for a souvenir photo in front of a green screen which would be available to us after the experience was over.

The boat had windows which showed a virtual sea (too bad they couldn’t have had the room rock a bit for added realism) and while we sailed we were treated to a video discussing the cloning process of the dinosaurs.

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After the boat “stopped,” we eagerly entered the “theme park” (sorry for all the “quotations” but we are in the land of make believe here). The way they set it up was ingenious; like we were getting a special behind the scenes tour at a zoo. Having done my fair share of those at several different accredited zoos, I thought they were spot on. It was a great way to see the “animals” without needing an actual island to do so; they were simply “off exhibit.” It was a brilliant touch so far as keeping the whole experience as real as possible. We walked past the iconic gate with the torches and just as I was trying to take in everything, there was the neck of a Brachiosaurus swaying like in the films. My mind was effectively blown!

I’m not going to lie, as soon as I saw it I squealed like a giddy schoolgirl and noticed my two teenagers slowly start distancing themselves from me. I’d already watched several YouTube clips prior to forking out the cash for these tickets but, trust me, seeing it in person is so much better and photos and video just can’t capture the feeling of being in their presence.

We passed by the head of a Parasaurolophus as we entered the second room. Actually, my kids had to practically drag me since these were timed tickets and the group behind us had already caught up during the time I was panting in front of the Brachiosaurus.

In keeping  with the films, the next section dealt with the creation of the dinosaurs via their DNA extraction from prehistoric mosquitoes trapped in amber. It sounds perfectly scientific though there ain’t a snowball’s chance in Hell of this ever happening. No matter, I was in a Universal movie now and decided to pretend that it already had.

    The best touch was the incubators; one with eggs and the other with newly hatched Parasaurolophus. What was cool was staring at the babies and seeing them gently breathe as if alive.

This was the one room where it was my turn to rush the kids. I didn’t come here to see fake science, I came to here see fake dinosaurs (that I could pretend were real) and was eager to see the next one. In this case a couple of “Gentle Giants,” Pachyrhinosaurus! I was pleasantly surprised by their choice of ceratopsian and their not going with the more obvious and traditional Triceratops. It was a mother and her calf (do we call baby ceratopsids calves?) and the juvenile stood close to mom which was neat but, at the same time, seemed a bit more rhino than reptile. Shouldn’t she have had a clutch?

    Flash photography wasn’t allowed when viewing the Tyrannosaurus Rex and Velociraptor (identified as being “Blue” from the movie) so the photos I took look terrible. At the end of this post, however, you can see them in my video footage if you choose to do so. I’ll say this…BOTH of those dinosaurs were stunning and moved just like they did in the films. My cheeks glistened from the streams of dino-geek tears!

The last dinosaurs featured in our tour were Stegosaurus and then, their Grand Finale, Indominus Rex.

Indominus Rex, of course, is a Hollywood creation which, to be honest, I was never a fan of. I do understand that it was engineered to make JURASSIC WORLD stand out from its predecessors but would have preferred they used a lesser known, real one, instead. I always saw the JURASSIC films as an opportunity to bring fame to obscure dinosaurs, just like the first film did for Velociraptor and the third for Spinosaurus.

  Of course we had to “exit through the gift shop:” which, in this case, was loaded with officially licensed Universal goodies. There was some great merchandise but pricey even by gift shop standards. I really wanted to get one of their plush T-Rex’s but the kids discouraged my frivolity. Ugh, let me tell you how much fun it is after your kids outgrow you!

Dad: “Can I keep him?” Kids: “NO!!!”

We located our souvenir photo and saw that we were being attacked by Indominus Rex, thus explaining why were told to look terrified while they were taking the picture. I insisted that we buy this to commemorate our incredible evening but, after the cashier rang me up. I’m pretty sure my face matched the way it looked in the photo…nearly $30 for one damn picture!!!

If you’re on a budget you can obviously forgo all the bells and whistles though I do believe the exhibit itself is worth shelling out the cash for. It was an experience I will never forget and would love to do again. As we returned to our car I was reminded of a quote from the Henry Wu character in JURASSIC WORLD, “You didn’t ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.”

This exhibit, my friends, gives you a fair share of both!

Dave Fuentes~

Chicago’s Field Museum Welcomes JURASSIC WORLD: the Exhibition! I’m pretty sure I speak for every dinosaur fan over forty that JURASSIC PARK (1993) was a game changer.