#so i made his beak all robot like

[horseradish-jam]

[gladiatorcunt]

- DIRT IN CHAINS | X.

i can’t wait for the nights with you, i imagine the things we’ll do

cw: kinktober prompt (feet), semi crack treated seriously (he just comes back and says footjob. now.), pseudo incest (step brother & step sister), no shelly or chris 💀, set in the 90’s with brandon lee’s eric, small-ish age gap (reader’s in her early 20’s), fem ballerina!reader, random kurt cobain crush mention, implied inappropriate behavior when reader was 18 and after (nothing explicit but it could be seen as done with certain intent), attempted non con mention (not involving eric or reader)

please do not repost, translate, or feed this work to ai

kinktober 2024

Body of my body, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.

If you serve a chunk of still bleeding meat to a gruesome stray dog, then that is love. If you toss a coin to a crow with a glint in its beady eyes, that too is love. Even when you scoff and grumble at the perceived inconvenience and continue your jaunt down the muddy alleyway. You are assuring an animal that you believe it deserves to have its hunger sated and tended to like a toothache. don’t be surprised when gangrene sets in around your ankles and wrists, bracelets made of red jade. They bite for the same reason that you sharpen their teeth and beaks with roadkill and gemstones. It is life’s greatest gift to ever be well fed, such neglect can open a void from which there is no escape. If only your heart could plug up the hole.

The most painful sentences in existence are hypotheticals that start with if. That's why this will be nothing of the sort, hunting season will be successful.

Your step brother Eric was shot about a month ago the night before halloween, and you’re coping by robotically moving through life as if it couldn’t happen to you too. It’s all too easy to succumb to the panic and the grief but you’ve never been wired that way, it’s safer for you to retreat into a cocoon of numbness.

You don’t want to think about where the woman he saved from being raped is, as happy as you are that she’s okay. Knowing any of that would only remind you of the knife Eric got thrown into his back before he was thrown from her apartment window. He lived in the same building and like the good guy your step brother was at heart, burst in the room with the best intentions.

His good deed got him killed, and all you’ve done is play his music on repeat as you rot in your bed. He’d want you to continue your ballet career, hell, he showed up to your recitals and performances more than your own mother. You always ignored how his presence made you feel simultaneously relaxed and confident but also so stressed you’d be worried about pissing yourself on the stage.

Wide smiles and long dark hair that glistened in the theater’s warm lightning, he would always be the one to stand up and whistle first.

Eric’s favorite ballet was your ballet company’s Swan Lake. He kept a picture of you as Odette in one of the pockets of his leather jacket.

Your parents had only been married 4 years, but you’ve changed a lot from the starry eyed 18 year old that mooned over your older step brother and tripped over your pointe shoes.

Your dad started teaching you how to play guitar before he left, when you were 5 and your chubby hands plucked at the wrong strings. Eric wouldn’t leave you alone when you told him the story, and spent an entire weekend getting you caught up on your missed lessons until you both had a swarm of blisters on your fingers.

Now you’ll never see him again, never get caught in the rain when you’ve begged him to drive you home and wish you could tuck a strand of his wet hair behind ear, never hump your pillow and muffle your sounds into your balled up fists because he’s staying in the next room and you have to be quiet.

You’ll never see him with his band again, caught in that weird space between a groupie and a supportive family member. He liked to embarrass you, make big shows out of looking directly at you and coming to the edge of the stage to poke your cheek. He’d ruffle your hair and your cheeks would be so hot, one wrong burst of electricity from the wires attached to their instruments and you’d go up in flames.

You never told your mom but you always wanted a brother, you should’ve known you weren’t gonna have him for very long.

Hangman’s Joke. God, you wish.

“Hey, peach, ya miss me?”

Hand on your heart you think you’re dreaming at first, but you’ve never really had any dreams where Eric was front and center. He haunts all your other ones, regular strange ones where you’re running around department stores and fucking Kurt Cobain but someintes he turns into your step brother, sometimes you fuck them both.

You shoot up in bed, the straps of your lavender silk nightie slip down your shoulders so you pull them back. It’s the middle of the night, and your vision is blurry, but when your eyes focus properly you see him standing in front of your bed.

It’s Eric, your brother, you don’t even care if there was a gas leak overnight that’s got you fucked up or if this reslly is a dream. You can’t pretend to be fine anymore if he’s right here in front of you, suddenly there’s an umbrella over your head in the pouring rain again.

“Eric, oh my god, what the fuck! How are you even- I mean- How the fuck are you alive?”

He sighs, tonguing his cheek and shaking his head. “I’ll tell you all about it later, I promise, ‘m tired, peach. Missed my girl, didn’t she miss me?”

It’s a little cruel because of course you have, but the dulcet tones lull you into nodding. You don’t want to cry, and you’re scared to reach out to touch him because of the chance that he might disappear. Eric’s haunted eyes soften, and he intertwines his bizarrely muddy fingers with yours. There’s warmth, and maybe it’s just your hummingbird heart but you feel a soft rhythmic thumping under his skin.

It’s different, slow as molasses, more like the chiming of a grandfather clock. But Jesus fucking Christ he’s real.

Your sham of a facade shatters as you bring your joined hands down to your breasts, forcing his knuckles to press into your sternum.

Eric pushes you back down on the bed, his knees dig into the mattress on either side of your hips. His stare is intense, dark and enticing as he reaches down to curl his hand around your calves.

“I used to be obsessed with uh, vampires, ain’t that a bitch?” He chuckles, massaging your ankles and staring off into space. “All that mysticism and unimaginable power and all I could focus on was the way they talked about their cravings. How they get hunger pangs like a normal fuckin’ and it’s bearable until it’s not, it consumes them like they’re boilin’ from the inside out.”

You suck in a breath, Eric’s eyes flick over to you immediately.

“Then I look at you and i’m right back in rehab, toes curlin’ at the thought of getting high again. I think I know how those bloodsuckers feel.”

“Eric- Don’t say that.” Your heart seizes up, but you keep yourself from falling off the ledge.

He kisses your ankle, his black lipstick leaving a stain as he leaves a trail of carnage up to your toes. His lips split wide on a fox’s smile, slipping his tongue in the crease between your toes and sucking each one clean, almost like he’s trying to eat your flesh off the bone. He nuzzles his nose into the sole and inhales deeply, taking in the dirt you didn’t wash off in the shower, the plastic hospital smell from your bath mat, your cherry almond scented body wash.

“Yes, all i fuckin’ need, right here.” He whispers, staring at you dead in your eyes.

He flicks his tongue out to taste the high arch of your foot as his hand caresses your still bruised toes. But they’re faded, you quit ballet a long time ago.

“You have pretty feet, y’know that? Always liked helping you lace up your slippers.” Eric laughs “You’d get so fussy about me doin’ them properly but you’d kiss my cheek after, all sweet on me.”

He lavishes every inch of both your feet with his tongue in broad strokes, making out with your toes because he can’t resist sucking them into his mouth one more time.

You moan, fisting your hands in your nightie, your step brother’s back from the afterlife apparently and the first thing he wants to do is get a footjob from his step sister.

Eric tucks his hair behind his ears so he doesn’t have to bother with it for right now, you can tell that this is like one of those moments on stage, he wants your full attention.

He’ll always have it.

You’re the one that pulls your feet out of his grip to slide them down to his crotch. You keep eye contact as you massage his clothed bulge with your toes, rubbing your heel into his balls and applying light pressure here and there.

You blink up at him, too innocent and too worn down by life already all at the same time, “Like that, big brother? Does that feel good?”

Eric grunts, wrapping his hands back around your ankles and pushing your feet further onto his cock.

“Yeah, peach, feels so fuckin’ good, holy shit. Just like that, keep doin’ me like that, baby.”

You bite your lip, nearly tearing through the skin in your efforts to make your newly risen step brother jizz in his ripped jeans. You wish you had psychic powers and had the foresight to know he was coming over, you would’ve put on those socks with the frilly edges and a red rose stitched on the white fabric.

But he’s so worked up from this already, he’s breathing heavily and rocking his hips forward to hump your feet. He’s grinding his teeth together, already so close to unraveling from how much of a little tease you’re being.

You hum and turn your right foot to ghost the edge of your toenail around the tip of his cock. He groans as he twitches and a bead of pre seeps through his clothes, you can trace the outline of his length so clearly you know he’s not wearing any underwear.

The look in his crazed eyes reminds you of all the times he’d take you to the attic of his loft, making up scary stories and playing guitar with you. When you turned 21 he surprised you with a cheesy golden heart shaped locket, with a picture of you two at your parent’s wedding, joking about how awkward you look with each other there. Eric’s penguin style suit and your agitated face that’s partially covered by gaudy turquoise puffy cap sleeves.

He chuckled and said that every time you look at it, you’ll feel nothing but happiness for what those two losers are about to experience.

Part of that experience is you curling your feet around his clothed cock while giving him just enough of a view of your hairy pussy, you forgot to put a pad on so there’s some blood trickling out of you that Eric is just so utterly enraptured by.

His groans are death rattles now, long and pain stricken, at some point he stops humping your feet and lets you worship him like this. Eric kneeling above you, drooling deep in the back of his throat at the sight of his baby sister caressing his painfully hard dick with her cute dancer’s feet.

Your mind is filled with all the pretty shoes you can put on and do this again, you just got a new camera as an early birthday present too.

“You can come if you promise not to leave again, Eric, I'll hunt you down and kill you myself this time.” You promise, digging the ball of your feet into his perineum.

“I crawled out of the earth back to you, didn’t I? Couldn’t let my sweet peach perform alone, she gets stage fright.”

He comes in his pants and you continue to gingerly move your feet along his length, soaking up the cum that wets your toes like a sunflower does sunlight at golden hour.

[mysticovo]

hey so could I possibly get a scenario where Splinter is on about none of his sons will ever give him his grandchildren one day. He has zero hope. And s/o of Donnie is just like “Donnie has 5 robots that call him dad so you’re already a grandpa. Donnie maybe your dad’s feeling left out?”. What happens after this?

Omigosh yeaaaa!

~~~~~~~~~~

Splinter was bored out of his mind…..looking through the family album as his old Lou Jistsu movies played in the background. As he started at the pictures of his 4 sons as young children, reminiscing…he couldn’t help but sigh. All he wanted was to experience it again….having the small tots running around the lair. But…differently.

Of course his sons had to deny him of that feeling. He kept flipping through the pages. Eyes grazing over each one. ”Oh my sons…” He sighed out once more, not realizing he was thinking out loud.

“Splints? You alright?”, a calming voice called back. It shook him out of his thoughts as he looked up, seeing you with your hand on the back of his chair.

“____, yes…just thinking.”

“About…? It’s like that time your favorite show was over run by that…horrid puppet show.”, you paused and looked at him with a soft expression, “Don’t make me get Dr. Delicate Touch or Dr. Feelings.”

He sighed once more before asking real bluntly….“When am I going to get grandchildren?”

“Oh…oh!”

That was certainty not what you were expecting…but it had to come out some point. Apparently even Leo’s been thinking about it since he was what, 14? You’ve had to hear that conversation in some of Donnie’s old recordings from when they were kidnapped.

“I-um-well..”, you tried to find the right words but nothing sounded correct or be able to be verbalized. To say you were red was an understatement.

“I….I need to go and babysit Shelldon..”

And with that, you quickly left without another word. This was a conversation you desperately did not want to have…especially right now. As you walked through the halls of the lair, thoughts plagued your head. I mean…was that even possible?

Oh…it sort of was…

~~~~~~~~

“Dee!”

Your voice had rang through the lab, the sound of machinery was the only other noise. Once he heard it, he immediately looked up. Shelldon was currently curled up on his lap asleep as he worked on another turtle robot, this one a baby.

“____..”, his voice had a small breathiness to it as his eyes filled with love. You were basically a small family by now with all the robots calling you two their parents.

You sat on a stool and rolled over to him, stopping an inch away from him. Your hand made it’s way to Shelldon’s head and gently stroked it.

“Just had an awkward conversation with your dad.”

“When is it never?”, a small smirk laid on his beak as he continued to tinker with the small robot.

“Oh har har…but..I think your dad’s feeling…it’s hard to explain.”

Looking down at your lap and hands, Donnie slipped a hand into yours. He squeezed it softly and left a kiss on your hair.

“Scoff, describe it. Maybe my non dum-dum brain can make sense of yours.”, he really didn’t mean it in a bad way…more of a playful, teasing way. Sometimes it was certainly hard to decipher.

“He asked about grandchildren. I think…I think he might just feel left out of this whole entire thing..”

“He told you what?! I mean…he really shouldn’t have even done that! The pressure it would…just…nyeh!” He slammed his screw driver down onto the work desk and turned to you. “I am so sorry..”

“It’s not your fault…I asked why he was upset.”

“Still…”, He sighed, he gave you a look before giving you a pat on the head with his battle shell’s robotic arm, “Pops is just…look, I’ll talk to him. I’ve been able to scold him before and I’m not afraid to do it before.”

He then decided to go on a ramble of the tv shows and docs he was gonna rig to Splinter’s glorious tv/projector. As he ranted and rambled, your thoughts ran. “Donnie…what if he’s feeling sort of…I don’t know…left out? I mean we have Shelldon who he barely interacts with and he’s basically our son. Then this one..”, As you gestured to the two turtle robots, Donnie looked back at you with loving eyes.

“I guess I didn’t…calculate that factor.”

He grabbed your hand and squeezed it. He sighed softly again before getting up, placing a small blanket Mikey made onto the unfinished robot.

“I’ll try to talk to him…”

“Without that tone.”

“Yes, yes…without that tone.”, Donnie softly laughed and rolled his eyes. With that, he walked out of his lab and lingered for a few moments.

“Hey _____..”

“Yea Dee?”

“Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea..” With a soft smirk, he finally left. Leaving you with a shocked face and your mouth opening and closing like a fish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey! Hope you all liked it, sorry it took so long! Ive just had a few things going on and stuff but I’m still working on and accepting requests! Like always, I’ll see you later my Mystic Deers! （＾∇＾）

[best-ducktales-episode]

what is YOUR favourite dt episode?

A few people have asked me for my favorite episodes, so I thought I’d wait until the end of the tournament to give some of mine!!! Using this ask as an excuse to give my top five!

In the end most of these boil down to favorite character bias, but DuckTales has some amazing characters so can you blame me-

#1 Favorite, Astro B.O.Y.D.!

Yes yeah favorite character bias of course I love Gyro and team Science but also! There is so much more to love outside of them!

First off Gyro's character development?? He was a long established favorite of mine before that and it was so wonderful to not only get his backstory but his development too all in one episode. The way they give us so much about him in just a little dialogue and how much you can read into it- "I swore I would never go back" "Spent my whole life trying to live that down" *immediately goes back and faces it* really shows how huge it was for him to see Boyd again. Just having him there made him so scared of a repeat that he went back to face it with barely a moment's hesitation.

And Boyd oh my god he is the most precious child ever. He's wildly misunderstood! Baby boy! I really want to know how much of his memory he still has in the beginning, because he didn't know anything about what happened but he was still able to recognize Gyro I'm gonna cry. His and Huey's interactions are adorable and amazing, I don't relate much to the autism rep but I sure do fucking appreciate it. Every now and then I think too much about the "just wired a little differently" line and have to sit down for a minute. "That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me" BABIES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND.

Another thing I really appreciate about this episode is Fenton! I was thinking about it recently and I think this is the most of Fenton's personality we get to see. Every other episode centered around him he's having to deal with Mark Beaks or Waddleduck (Mark Beaks) or the date fiasco (Mark Beaks) or fighting an evil robot car (Mark Beaks) or being hacked (Mark Beaks) and so it's fun to just kind of see him Hanging Out in this episode. The way he just whisks Huey and Boyd off in the middle of the night makes me think he's like the fun older relative who drives you to the gas station after dark to get movie snacks. And I will never get over his "2-BOOOOOOO" anime scream.

People in the notes during the tournament complaining The Hug is overhyped no you don't understand. It is not appreciated enough. 1. All Boyd wanted the whole episode was a hug and to get that from the person who he used to care for the most? Who used to care for him the most? I'm not okay. 2. Gyro gets up there and acknowledges what Boyd has been saying this whole time, and it touches Boyd so much that he not only snaps out of evil mind control but his first instinct is just to hug him? 3. Gyro finally sees Boyd and understands what happened and the first thing he does is grab him out of the air and hug him? Gyro is clearly not a very huggy person but he doesn't hesitate there. That hug to me always means "I see you and I'm sorry" god I'm gonna cry.

There is so much more to say about this episode like the animation and Tezuka and Akita (so mad we never saw him in F.O.W.L.) but uhhh I've rambled enough so

#2 Favorite, From the Confidential Case Files of Agent 22!

Again! Favorite character bias, I love crazy evil women. Black Heron you are everything to me I'm so sorry you were so sidelined you deserved another episode. Also what the hell was going on with her and Beakley in the 60s "I've grown very well acquainted with your agent 22" ma'am what do you mean by that. What were you two Doing. Nothing else happens in this episode right-

Kidding! When I say that the S3 finale came out of nowhere I mean the triplets reveal went too fast for me, not the buildup of Webby and Scrooge being close. We had a random-ass episode in the middle of S1 already confirming them as best friends, and it is so adorable to see them bond. Scrooge let her yell a battle cry even though it would likely trigger the robots I love them. He lets her take the final fight against Heron because he knows she can do it I love them.

#3 Favorite, The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!

"You just like this one because Gyro and Fenton are in it" you're catching on. I'm sorry I did say this is all favorite character bias. I love Marshall and Gyro just pops in for absolutely no reason other than that they needed the Time Tub to be established and they needed an excuse to get tech into the 1800s. He could've been literally any other character they could've made a new one Gyro literally doesn't matter there but he is there just Hanging Out and I love that for him.

I'm not the biggest Scroldie fan but they are fun. My favorite part is when Goldie hits him in the face with a gold pan and leaves him in a water trough. I love seeing more of Goldie here too, "oh I ran out of people to pit against each other" Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss it's so fun to see her actively manipulating her way out of a situation. Also I fucking love her dress and I yell her "KEY CHANGE" whenever I get a chance to.

#4 Favorite, The First Adventure!

"You just like this one because Black Heron is in it" correct. What did I say. She gets to do whatever the fuck she wants in this episode and I love her for that. "Forgot I set that one" she is everything to me.

I can't not appreciate little Donald and Della though, and we get to see The Note! "Eat the rich uncle" you know they only got away with that because no one can understand Donald. Speaking of which- I was so sad knowing it wasn't going to be Russi Taylor voicing him but I think whoever stepped in did a fantastic job, the only reason I can tell it's someone else is because I was paying so close attention to his voice. I love how Scrooge just hands the controls of a plane to a 10 year old talk about living on the edge. There are too many silly little hijinks with these three to go through but I love all of them they go so well together as characters. They all play off of each other amazingly and I feel like you get that the best in this episode. Also "am I donna or dello" should I make a poll for that.

#5 Favorite, Timephoon!

How does an episode completely change a fandom. Della Duck get behind me. I wasn't even in the fandom when this dropped but if I'm still seeing aftershocks of the chaos years after then I know it was bad. Thing is Della isn't even the thing I often focus on when watching this but I Will talk about it because nobody has any chill. Seriously kudos to her for winning the tournament she deserves it after all of this. I adore her interactions with Beakley in this episode "duuuude why would you step on a butterfly?!" that is not the point and she knows it she just does whatever she can to get out of being responsible. Mood.

The kids are really the focus here! I know Louie's story has more impact on the plot but I really like whatever was happening with Bubba and Huey and Webby. Pure shenanigans trying to reference an older character but god was it funny.

Also I really love everyones outfits at the end, Knight Della and Aaron Burr and/or Mr. Darcy 1800s Gyro especially. I really was expecting what LP said about the future to come up again in the finale, and I don't know if it's good or bad that it didn't because on the one hand that would be an amazing reference and on the other it's just more evidence of LP being silly and saying random shit.

(Honorable favorite mentions, The 87¢ Solution, The Great Dime Chase, Most Dangerous Game Night, Nightmare on Killmotor Hill, and Missing Links of Moorshire)

Anyway! I'm so happy you all are interested in my favorites and it's very fun to get to talk about them, so thank you for the excuse! Sorry they all boiled down to "I just really like this character and they're in this episode" but again that just means DuckTales creates some really fantastic characters. Main reveal I'm @wacky-nameless-inventor-24 come say Hi if you want to! I should do a poll soon of what tournament we should do next!

[electricdissonance]

....You tell em, Nites.

[Rhett was sitting there rather quiet, a foot tapping against the floor where he sat by his computer. He was really struggling to grasp for words, difficulty in trying to engage]

[But one thing is definitely for sure; He didn't like firecracker.]

[So as his feathers stood on end uncomfortably, the irritation causing little clucks to escape his beak]

It seems like yer' creator read a Lotta science fiction books growin' up... It's a common fictional premise where an AI rises up and gains a lot of intelligence and self awareness. Where it goes from then on depends on how the 'bot uses this awareness. Seems like your programmer feared ya would uhm... rise up? Be mad..?

....If he didn't want ya to be mad, I don't think he shoulda' up and left ya' alone all like this...

But there's plenty o' stories where the machine uses this intelligence to make friends, and likes the people who it meets. A lot of people think a robot would... distrust them. Wouldn't blame a 'bot to pick a fight with humanity and all...

Clearly that ain't what this is of course. I still wouldn't uh.... blame ya for being a bit cross with the guy though. There's no... explanation... Right now the inference is that he up and left since we got no more context...

....Christ I typed a whole lot. Sorry about that, pal.

Probably doesn't help with the migraine...

- 🐓

Kinito sighed.

"I'm... I'm not mad at him. I don't think I can be, he had treated me so nicely... He made me feel so special. We never had bad days. He told me that I was his greatest creation - the culmination of his life's work. But then... something must've happened."

"Maybe... maybe he's been in danger this whole time? What if he's been waiting for help this whole time?? What if-"

Suddenly, the feed flickered, a loud static fuzz emitting from every chat member's computer as a new face made itself known.

"Y̶͖͌ ̷̧͈̖̗̓̀͜͝I̴̢͇͓̣̔̈̅͜ ̷̤̩̮̔͒̔̋̕ ̶̥̠͔͙̀͐͌ ̷̱̬̜͙̽̒͘͝S̸̡̺̆ ̵͖̪͔̹̀̽́̀͐Ì̷̬̪̗̘̃͘ ̶͓̬́̀̕͠L̷̯̭̈́͆̌ͅ ̶͍͉̱̹̘̊͂̋̈́͝'̸̼̥̥̠̺̉͗ ̸͖̒̿̕͝͠Ẻ̷̤̌̂͌͂ ̷̦̦͠K̶̨̻͎̪̅ ̸̯̺͖͑̀́ ̵͚̳̥̲̍̇ ̴͖̤̳͖͝N̴͈̻͚̭̅̈́͝ ̵̠̥͓́͛J̵̛̹̉̈́ ̵̦̮̺̤͖̎̂̒̓͘S̷̳͌ ̷͉͌̂̈B̶͉̊͗̊̕͠ ̴͈̃̐͆ ̴̗̤̼̭̇͆̑ ̵͖̭͎̩̝̾̐̌̒̇C̸͕͍̾ ̷̢͓̰̜̌̇̋̾̉V̷̝͈͚̀ ̸̨̊͒͐Ḙ̶̭̻̺̀̓ ̸̡̇͆K̵͙̈͠ ̶̺̫̻͔͆̎̈́̿̄Ȩ̶̺͕̤͓̿̌͛̍͐.̴̣͔̏͌"

[??? is now available for chatting.]

[contremineur]

It is being written in kitchens. It is being written in the limp light of cheap 40-watt bulbs, while beside you, slouched in a chair or marooned on the couch your lover or your mother sleeps. There is the smell of liver and onions in the air. Waves of garlic descend upon the paper as you write. It is being written beside cat boxes or with old black-painted typewriters whose keys continually jam. It is being written while hamsters breed, where cockatoos work their beaks against the cage. It is morning in Alsace, Louisiana. Two poets arrive in an old black car which diesels after the motor is shut off. They step out off towards the lawn and there are greeted by a third, who is very excited, and wants to show them something. It is being written in tiny cabins up near the Arctic Circle where were it not for the ambivalent howling of the wind one could conceivably hear and be frightened by and take for one’s subject the ambivalent howling of the wolves. It is being written by men who no longer love their wives, who hate their fathers-in-law, by women who cheat on their husbands, by thousands of people old and young who feel molested by life, or cheated by the past, or crippled in the present. It is being written by young girls whose feet have ungainly long second toes, by young men with brains instead of muscles, and whose faces are moonscapes of acne, by young men whose parents cannot even read the labels off soup cans. People walk up and down the aisles of groceries and eye the soup cans. Housewives in put-up hair, in beige, shapeless and wrinkled raincoats shift in their choices between this kind of cracker or that bread, their eyes dull and glassy or ferocious with unacknowledged passion. A boy is stooping to line up bottles of fabric softener, self-conscious and hot around the collar. And he is a poet. Women stand pounding the check-out registers, from soup to nuts, free dog bones, mastocelli noodles, and all with migraines. And they are poets. The manager sits in his tiny booth and counts receipts, now and then staring out over the vast panorama which is this voiceless, heartless, mute and lonely humanity, robot-like as they, passing, push their wire carts. Someday, he will write the great poem of their souls. It is everywhere this poetry. It is the sacred name of every place, it is the nut and bolt, the bleeder valve, the kite string of reality. It is the deep end of the pool, whose water shivers, whose bottom backs off into blue. It is the unsung, the unsaid, it is the uttered and the barely felt, the blue bird, the red. It is the ache at midnight, the slap in the face, the letter, neglected for so long, we were meaning to write to that which within us has waited, aching for so long.

Greg Kuzma, from an introductory note to What poetry is all about (Blue Scarab Press 1998)

This isn’t even the introduction. This is from a note preceding the introduction and the subsequent updated introductions, one for each edition of the text, up until an introduction to the fifth edition, which is the one I found in a treasure trove of secondhand books in Philadelphia. It was near closing, clean on the other side of Philly from where I was staying, and I was travelling out of the city the following morning. And I’m so glad I made the effort to get there. Because I found this.

previously posted by the 'no posts yet' sheherezade

[popculturebuffet]

Big City Greens: Gwendolyn Zapp Retrospective (All 5 Episodes, Movie Next Month) (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! We continue the halloween celebration with the spookiest monster of all: A NARCSITIC DANGEROUSLY UNCHECKED TECH BILLIONARE!

Yes it's time to talk not about Elon Musk, thank god, but about his marginally less unsettling Disney counterpart

No the other one. The one I made the whole picture of whose in the title. It's Big City Green's Gwendolyn Zapp!

Most of ya'll reading this probably know Big City Greens, a wholesome series about a family of colorful country folk living in the city, the son's rich best friend, and their adopted purple adult daughter what lives in their basement after she gave up her job to protect them. I've previously covered this series ongoing story arc with Chip Whistler, and likely will again whenever the current story arc with him coming back wraps, and have nothing but praise for it: it's a calm fun series with lots of great gags, a stellar main cast and which avoids being a status quo sho: the basic premise remains the same, but things do change and it's lovely.

But Chip isn't the series only ongoing antagonist and with this recurring character having upgraded herself to Big Bad for the movie, me and kev thought it was a good time to look at Gwendolyn Zapp and her hyjinks. This was also fun for me as I hadn't seen ANY of Gwendolyn Zapp's episodes before this, only the movie. Lucky for me watching the film the first time when it came out, Gwendolyn was chosen over chip entirley because her gimmick is pretty simple: She shows up, is entertaining and kinda nuts, and her reckless disregard for proper testing or human life means whatever she built this week is going to make our heroes lives harder. Unlike Chip who went on a whole journey of picking a fight with a small child, facing the consequences for that, not leanring anything and faknig his way to being a CEO, trying to ruin the Green Family out of pety spite, trying to murder said child and being exiled from town, and that's not getting into his recent journey of trying to live a normal life before fleeing to the sewers to plot his vengance and putting the family in a saw trap.

In contrast Gwendoln's Schtick is set from her very first lines on the show:

She's the other side of the dangerous billionare one step from being a super villian coin that Mark Beaks represents: Mark represnets the petty childish cide of people like Elon Musk, the obession with getting likes, with being seen as hip, the petty obession with anyone who bothers them and willing to tank their reputation and billions just to spite their enemies, even if that enemy is their own daughter. Gwendolyn Zapp, as the movie shows IS just as petty, no question but taps more into the ethical problems: While science is neat and should progress, Gwen is the side that says "so what if it might kill people market it anyway!", who gleefully talks about giving away a robot for free because control over lives is more precious, and who thinks humanities flaws just need to be laser gunned away.

While Zapp exagerates this to the levels a cartoon can it really ISN'T by much. We're really not far from trying to use programs to modify personlities, farm vegtables on the moon, send cars to mars because why the fuck not, and we're already pretty damn close to space vacations for the rich and already at replacing workers with robots whose ai are is nowhere near where it needs to be for a complicated task. Gwen's a great satire of tech ceo bullshittery at a time we need it most. I hate saying Elon Musk's name so much as I know he gets just a little hard anytime somoene says his name, but it's hard not to compare the two as while Mark Beaks fits him WAY more personality wise, Zapp represents how little he cares for testing, human life and how rich assholes like him could get us all killed one day by pure hubris.

So let's unpack her 5 appearnces in the show proper and then next month i'll look at the movie, as we see her take the tiny step to full on cartoonish supervilliany.. and by that I mean she actually does this shit on purpose.

Gwendolyn is one of the few recurring characters not from Smalton who dosen't debut till season 2, but she enters the series fast as she can in only the season's second episode.

Car Trouble focuses around Bill, which is a trend for most of these Zapp focused stories, and fits perfectly. Bill is a very traditional guy not really into tech in any way shape or form, the most he uses are various farm tools, the tv on occasion and his Truck, The Kludge. He's not anti tech or today's youth or any of that nonsense but he's often baffled by it. He's open enough to try it as he loves getting out and generally trying to explore the city, within budget, but he's also stuck in his ways and cautious enough for there to still be a story.

In this case the Kludge is breaking down, not helped by Bill's spiffy new addition to the buisness: Vegtable Delivery. This being a cartoon hit's breakdowns are seats so broken they nearly impale tilly on their springs and the floor being so brittle Cricket nearly falls out. The family , like many , simply can't afford a new car and the car means too much to bill.

So enter Gwendolyn Zapp. Zapp is played by SNL album Cheri Oteri and Oteri.. is fucking phenominal here. I didn't really remember her much from SNL but here, she's hilarous and the animation helps, given Gwendlon a lot of weird jerky movements. She comes off like a muppet wearing a human costume and it's great to see.

Zapp in addition to making Robo Pants, had a Kludge herself, and I like this bit of humanizing to an objectively zany nonsense character. She wants to shoot it off into space, not that she tells bill that last part, because she generally wants the Truck on mars with her. That's... really it.

She offers one of her fancy tesla like cars.. back when they made cars people would want and not giant metallic divorce machines that malfunction if you so much breathe on them wrong. THe family agrees and again I like that Bill isn't being a stick in the mud, that he dosen't always HAVE to be against something and accepts the car.

I gotta admit I wasn't looking forward to this plot as it's one i'd seen before: Bobs Burgers did a similar plot with Sacred Couch, albeit with Louise destroying the couch so they'd get another, and King of the HIll's Chasing Bobby, which had Hank Stubbornly refuse to get rid of his old truck till a train makes the decision for him. Sadly this episode dosen't quite hit the highs of those others, and I wasn't a huge fan of sacred couch to begin with: the family likes the new car, which Cricket names Dr Bubblebutt because of course he does, until they don't with Gramma too overly relaxed by the massage features and Tilly nearly dying being cooked like a waffle.

While Cricket gets restrained by Dr. B mistaking him for being a baby.. which... fair. But what I like is Bill admits Dr Bubblebutt is objectively better, he just misses his old truck as do they all and wants what he considers a member of the family. My problem with that is it kinda.. breaks the groundeness of the series. And yes this is the same series where soon after they have to scramble to save their old truck from being sent to mars, I admit that, but the core of the series is grounded, like early simpsons: The Greens aren't destitute but do struggle with money, having come to the city in the first place because they had to sell the farm and by this point are on managable but still uneasy footing. It takes a lot of hard work and the upswing of sales from the Deliveries and farmers market to get them solvent and the later increased crops from getting the farm back to put them in the black and even then it's more a modest success. So Bill taking back a car that's pretty much broken without any solution just dosen't quite work. I can buy the series elastic reality, but not when it breaks the series more grounded bits.

The climax is decent with Dr Bubblebut sacrifing themself for it's new family.. which again makes me think this would work better if they just.. had ot accept hte new car. This episode is okay.. it's a great introduction to Gwendlolyn Zapp, but otherwise is a plot i've both seen before and done better, getting the sentiment part down but grounding in reality better. Thankfully the later episdoes with Gwendolyn have the cartoony fun without ignoring the series more grounded bits, ala early simpsons.

This one opens with Cricket and Bill going to get farm tools as their down to just .. er.. uh...

Melissa yeah that's it, she's the mower. Also Melissa's wiki page needs serious work. The wiki for this show is fantastic otherwisse and has been an absolute dream in getting this review done. And gramma ramming into things just isn't a good hammer. Cricket's annoyed at loosing his day which is fair, why Bill needed Cricket or thought he'd be at all helpful I don't rightly know. But Cricket hates Chorin and wishes there was an end to it. Cue a Gwendolyn Zapp hologram who introduces her latest invention: the Farmbot: A robot made to resemble farmers using actual farmer dna.

Yeah we're only two episodes into having Gwendolyn Zapp and we're already up to her cloning baby farmers to harvest their dna. And the saddest part was were this at all legal we'd already have tesla baby farms. Tesla Baby Farms: only one in every two babies catches fire!

So despite the dubious sci fi hellscape methods made to create the farmbot, named F.R.A.N.K., Cricket is intrested as he's one worker who WANTS to be replaced by automation. Suprisingly Cricket actually thinks of the cost for once and knows they probably can't afford F.R.A.N.K. but there's a free 30 day trial and Bill figures eh why not, more hands make less work.

The setup is really well done with Bill once again not being a stick in the mud. Sadly the bulk of the episode.. is a plot we've seen before. And look while I complain about having seen a tried and trued sitcom plot on this blog a lot, I just did earlier, i'm not against it if you can do something fresh with it. That King of the Hill Ep I mentioned, Chasing Bobby, is one of the series best and the more i've had to think about it for this article, the more I love it. It's not one I go to often, because hank really is a jackass at times, but it's a well done story about accepting loss and listening to your children. All through a truck.

This however is just "X Character suddenly has too much free time and annoys the hell out of everyone". It happens a lot usually when a characters between job and while the setup is unique, Bill is such a workaholic him not having to work hard leaves him with NOTHING to do, the jokes are just kinda eh: Bill is too hands on for Cricket's latest shenanigan, a leaf blower jet pack, accidently sits on one of Tilly's toys at a teaparty (The one joke that really works) and annoys Gramma by ruining her painting. Bob Joles tries, lord does he, but the plot is just too by the jokes aren't just there. You can elevate a stock plot with jokes, as the Loud House did a hiccups episode that was actually funny thanks TO it's jokes, but this isn't their finest hour.

Cricket tries to teach bill to relax by watching tv, but that backfires and he overdoes it. I do love the tv's notifcations as he's binge watching

This episode isn't TERRIBLE it's just kinda there. The climax is good as Cricket realizes he needs his actual dad back and goes to destroy the farmbot... who refuses to shut down, rebels and leads to a fight with cricket, then him tilly and gramma nad finally bill who gets into a fist fight iwth a robot. Look I may not LIKE this episode, but I can't hate one that has a fist fight with a robot. I just can't.

I do love the ending punchline too of them returning it.. and the Saleman's casual and smiley "Yeah that's been happening a lot! Cash or credit?"

I do like the black mirror shout out here. While I don't watch Black Mirror, I do apricate doing something similar to it's cracked screen motif it uses for it's logo and various promos. I also like that this is more an homage than a direct parody: most kids probably won't have seen black mirror, but using the basic concept, seeing how a modern technology could be taken to scifi distopia levels in the not too distant future, works and they already had the perfect character for that. Also just as a note it would be REALLY fun to get Cheri Oteri to guest in a black mirror episode. Just saying.

At any rate this episode, while still having jokes, is more a character piece as once again the family is delivering to Big Tech, a name that's so on the nose it works. I mean they already live in big city, the pun is right there, i'd use it too.

Bill wants everyone else to stay in the car as everywhere they go there's chaos. It's a nice bit of lampshading you see from a show after a bit and I like what they do with it, with Tilly, being the quiet completlative type, wondering if that's true and what they could do about it. And while I do feel bill was wrong to leave Tilly behind, he wasn't exactly wrong on his mother and son as Gramma and Cricket bounce the second they can.

So TIlly goes to fetch her family only to find Gwendolyn Zapp's latest product presentation: New You! Using computers subjects would upload their brains, have their flaws removed and come back being perfect. It's an idea that honestly could be a black mirror episode, the idea of humanity erasing it's flaws not realizing why those matter. It's simple, horrific, and plausable.

And to seemingly prove bill's own point the greens end up destroyign the presentation: Bill accidently got trapped in a pod due to nerves, Gramma stole a fucking mech suit to piece by piece replace herself, and Cricket stole a golden egg from a bunch of geese, a truly amazing refrence.

Tilly apologizes and Gwendolyn, true to form.. is instead HAPPY.. mostly because the greens seem like the perfect test subjects for New You. They all agree, if reluctantly aside from Tilly.

So our heroes get their brains uploaded and end up in the digtial world. Sadly there are no agumon in this episode but we do get a LOT more Gwendolyn Zapp. So the plan is simple: she gets their flaws to pop up, using the computer so they appear as binary code she can use a big gun to

Away. I do like the line the episode threads: this idea is inherently unsettling, but they do thread enough comedy in the first half or so to ease you into it. And the comedy is great. We have Gwendolyn casually, and horrifyingly making backups "ALWAYS MAKE A BACKUP OF YOUR WORK", and while you can see where we're going with those, it's enough of a great bit of black comedy to see her drag full copies of the greens minus tilly into a folder to work. I also like her using a giant cable sized gun and casually answering "No" when asked if it has to be this big.

So it's time to zippy zapp their problems away: Bill's anxiety which stems from , unsuprisingly, his mother crticizing how he picked flowers as a child. Alice is just.. always angry like a hulk and Cricket got attention the first time he destroyed somethign. It's a nice bit of character in this fun high concept episodes.

So seemingly this isn't the worst thing: removing one's worst flaws probably isn't a bad idea and Bill's anxiety, Alice's rage and Cricket's destrcutiveness, impulsivness and need for attention could be worked on. The problem is Zapp.. goes too far.. she finds EVERY fault htey have and lasers it away and the result is deeply unsettling. The Perfected Greens are smily shells of who they were: Cricket is the perfect child, Alice makes cookies and is sedate and Bill is no longer afraid. What makes it so creepy, besides the nice touch of bags under the eyes, is that .. it's not them. It's something resembling them, but it's not the characters we've come to love. Thes how makes a valid if hard aseop: that yes we all have flaws... but their also part of us. They can be worked on and I appricate the show having bill, we'll get to that, make it clear they do have room for improvment, but you can't just.. remove something like Anxiety or anger issues. You can work on them, I need to work on both, but you have to accept it's part of you or you'll never get better.

So Tilly wants her old family back and Gwendolyn naturally sees this as a flaw. Thankfully we have that handy chekovs gun and Tilly frees the copies. This leads to a mirorr match, with the backups winning because their flaws give them the edge and escaping just in time as the digital world collapses, seemingly killing gwendolyn.

So this leaves a moral quandry I hadn't thought about till going to the tv tropes page that even the creators aren't sure on: Are the greens that came out really THEM? After all it apparently used the backups and the real ones were apparently erased.

My take? Yes the originals were destroyed. Which is horrifying as it means one version of the family was essnetially brainwashed and then died horribly. But the copies are ultimately the same characters: they were put away in a folder before the big change in these two versions of the greens, have all the same emotoins, memories, and what not. Like a data backup their the family BEFORE the procedure took place, and thus I treat them like the family we've been following this whole time. It'd be like if you perfectly duplicated a file on a computer: The only distinction till you change either version is that one came second. There is a lot of exestential questions from this: are the original greens technically dead? How many times can you copy yourself and still be you? But there not ones this episode sets out. It put the greens in a folder, copies perfectly so we could do this high concept without loosing them. And given they and Gwendloyn, who also backed herself up are the same, i'm inclined to treat them as the same people for the most part, just not the ones who died horribly.

Green Mirror is now one of my faviorite episodes, a creative, creepy romp with a lot of good jokes, a good message told just right, and a LOT of Gwendolyn Zapp. And even the ending as weird as it is that the greens are technically copies of themselves, had a lot of intresting implications to think about. They did a perfect homage that would fit right alongside the original.

The biggest episode of this collection and one of the series few half hour specials. It's also their second halloween special which is why we're doing this retrospective in october even though only 2/5 of the episodes are horror. I might do the other two halloween specials next year if your all intrested.

For now though Squashed! takes us to season 3, with this being the premiere though the next episode, Boss Life, seems to be the intended season premire. Still it doesen't harm the season any and is a LOT of fun.

So we open with Gwendolyn Zapp's latest project having seemingly failed. She takes some martian goop with her and leaves her staff behind to be mauled by possessed vegetables while she takes this dangerous chemical that already nearly killed people to earth.

On earth our heroes are preparing for Halloween! Their second one after Blood Moon aka that time they tied up gloria and left her for dead.

I double checked with Kev. The poor girl just gets a chuckle for this and understandably intends to just work through this at the Cafe she now owns. With the family trying to assure her that

Hopefully once season 4 wraps we can do a Gloria retrospective but for now our heroes are all getting set with Cricket and Tilly showing off their costumes: Cricket is Trickor, a jester who plays pranks and looks like Pomni before that character existed, and Tilly is bill complete with a padding pillow. Bill is touched though tells her one is enough. He has to have pride.

Said pride is shattered right after as while everyone's excited for pumpkins this years are teeny tiny. Bill goes to deliver some to Big Tech, dejected and Tilly comes along because cheering her up is what Bill does so as Bill she should cheer Bill up.

So they go to big tech and Gwen is delighted at the tiny pumpkins.. because she can juice them up with the space goo she what found. For once Bill.. isn't intrested and it makes sense. The previous three times he was offered a car that was proven to be safe, reliable and more than any trade in on the kludge could provide. He was offered extra help for a month. He was offered some mental health he didn't know going in was going to be "erase your personality with a raygun". None of them worked sure but it makes sense it'd take a few tries to make him warry of Big Tech. Granted her destroying their minds with a big ole laser and killing corrupted versions of them shoudl've also made him pull out buisness with Gwendolyn, Tilly sums up why they put up with her "She has money papa". IT's that sly commentary that sometimes when your a small buisness you have to deal with people you don't want to. Zapp is dangerous as fuck.. but she DOES clearly pay well which is more than you can say for most bilionares.

So Bill declines the untested grow juice that looked like it came out of a stygian hole in the ground. Tilly however swipes some because she just wants her dad to be happy.

So i'ts party time! That includes both a bunch of recurring characters like Officer Keys, Kiki, Bennie and Wheezie and.. whoever these people are

If you know tell me. I'm digging purple witch lady.

So the party is in full swing and everythings going smoothly for all but two guests. Vasquez is in a bad way as while he's wearing matching dinosaur costumes with Remy, which is just.. adorable, he can't quite grasp that everythings not real but also scary so his papa wolf senses are all upside down.

The other is bill whose attempts to carve the tiny pumpkins scaare the children but is delighted at the juiced up results. Naturally this being a halloween episode and us having seen Gwen leave people for dead over the results, this can't remotely go well. The fact Tilly lied on a family sitcom does not help.

Tilly gets paranoid as Benny swears he sees a face on one, and when checking in on a prank by cricket, finds out that nope, their real when one attacks them. And I LOVEEEE the designs on the alien mutant pumpkins

Three eyes and that sickly glow is all they really need to be deeply terrifying and the red pumpkin guts adds to it while adding a gore factor to their smashing. Somehow the censors okayed this and that's wonderful.

So our heroes TRY to stop the party but community sue ain't going to stop partying till community sue is ready to stop partyin.. also the pumpkins attack publicly making it hard to hdie and reveal another trick.. they can posses people by getting on their heads, taking out most everyone except bill, whose captured, tilly, cricket and Remy, and poor, poor poor gloria who closed up early to join the party only to get attacked once again

I'm really happy she seems to sit out the most recent halloween special, both segments as Gloria has been through enoguh shit. Let her make out with Katy Lynn or do some poetry in a beret in a dark room. She already has enough stress in her life.

So we're down to a small party of survivors. The good news, as Cricket finds out fighting a pumpkinfied vasquez they can be free. And better news while they got him in the first place because he thought it was another halloween fright and not an alien invasion, Vasquez is back in his comfort zone.

They do make the mistake of splitting up gang, but for valid reasons. Bill was dragged outside so Tilly goes to free him and that leaves DA Boys to clean house.

So while they do and find a weird.. horrifying eldrtich pumpkin spire growing out of people.

Gotta say love the scares in this one. It's not too extreme for kids but grown ass me is still creeped out.

So Tilly rescues Billy.. ugh.. no.. she rescues bill. Never calling him that again. Feels so wrong. Tilly rescues her daddy guy and he finds out she done fucked up and is upset. .but then gets grabbed by pumpkins again, leading to an awesome fight as Tilly and Bill go back to back:

"How are we going to fight them? "By doing what we do best.. we farm"

So we get a kickass farm tool zombie pupmkin fight with cricket eventually joining in. It's sadly for nough as our heroes get overwhelmed.. but luckily Cricket has a plan. He makes it look like he got stabbed what bad, which IS okay by network standards as this happened a few months prior

This fake death allows Tilly to run over the last pumpkin with a fucking lawnmower. Bill forgives her as hey she saved the human race from plant monsters instead of feeding them, and Zapp shows up, realizes i'ts over and heads back to mars.

Squashed is my faviorite of the five, with green mirror a close second. A fun zombie romp with a unique twist, toneso f great scares and child friendly kills, and a heck of a finale. Truly fantastic and I can see why their next special was two shorts instead. This one would be hard to top and given how the season ends, I suspect season 3 was written knowing this might be it given that's usually when Disney forces a series to clock out, hence the big swing in the second half and going all out for halloween.

So with that we end this.. oh right... that one.

We end on an.. okay one. I do like the concept: Cricket is doing deliveries for the Gloria + Green Cafe and takes HOURS to do them due to stopping off to play pingpong with Miss Torrees, a widow played by the legendary Rosie Perez. I do like the opening, cricket going around, delvering coffees and having a report with the customers.

Sadly he's also four hours late and Gloria is stressed to all hell because he disappears for hours on end, even though she knew who she was hiring and the cafe probably can , even this early on, afford to hire help that is'nt a children. So you see both sides: Gloria is right to be stressed but Cricket.. is a children and is keeping the customer company and getting another grandma out of the deal.

So in comes Gwendolyn Zapp who happened to be sitting there and offers Gloria a free delivernator, a dog like robot that is honestly the most down to earth thing she's made all series a si'ts fairly close to where real life bots are at. It can do it fast, dosen't need pay or unions. Cricket however LIKES doing deliveries so a contest is held: may the best noun win, and winner gets the job, looser gets inventory.

It goes how you'd expect: The delivernator easily laps cricket even with Remy and Vasquez slowing it down, even rebuilding itself, whlie Cricket gets held up with Ms Torres. But ultimately the fact Cricket actually spends time with the customers, if way too much on the ping pong court, that wins him as while he's not FAST the customers love him. That and he promises to cut it down. Gwendolyn can't fathom her choice but leaves with the dog anyway.

There's also a whole subplot about Gramma declaring war on the ants in the house and stabbing them with a sword after they destroy her cinnamon roles. This at least solves inventory as bill comes in half crazed willing to do anything for them and lucky he made the right turn into the coffee shop and not an alley way.

I just kinda glazed over as I watched this one so I don't have much to say. It exists, i've seen better man vs machine stories, but I appricate it for pointing out WHY workers are more valuable than souless robots. When the robots get souls then we'll be in trouble.

So that's Gwendolyn Zapp, CEO, Lunatic and one of the shows best chartacters. I admit 3/5 of these episodes are okay, not bad but not really great, but her presecne alone livens them up, while also allowing the show to take on sci fi plots with Green Mirror and Squashed. Part of why those eps could be as ambitous and fun as they were is that Gwendolyn Zapp helps break the show out of it's usually grounded nature and into it's more simpsony-over the top aspects that lay just under the surface. Again I may of only LOVED two of these episodes.. but i'm glad I saw all of them.

So that' sit.. for now as next month we take a GREEN FAMILY VACATION and look at the recent movie, with Gwendolyn front and center as our big bad. See you then and thanks to reading.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Bleeding hearts. ::[Abstract Photography ]

* * * *

“It is being written in kitchens. It is being written in the limp light of cheap 40-watt bulbs, while beside you, slouched in a chair or marooned on the couch your lover or your mother sleeps. There is the smell of liver and onions in the air. Waves of garlic descend upon the paper as you write. It is being written beside cat boxes or with old black-painted typewriters whose keys continually jam. It is being written while hamsters breed, where cockatoos work their beaks against the cage. It is morning in Alsace, Louisiana. Two poets arrive in an old black car which diesels after the motor is shut off. They step out off towards the lawn and there are greeted by a third, who is very excited, and wants to show them something. 

It is being written in tiny cabins up near the Arctic Circle where were it not for the ambivalent howling of the wind one could conceivably hear and be frightened by and take for one’s subject the ambivalent howling of the wolves. It is being written by men who no longer love their wives, who hate their fathers-in-law, by women who cheat on their husbands, by thousands of people old and young who feel molested by life, or cheated by the past, or crippled in the present. It is being written by young girls whose feet have ungainly long second toes, by young men with brains instead of muscles, and whose faces are moon scapes of acne, by young men whose parents cannot even read the labels off soup cans. 

People walk up and down the aisles of groceries and eye the soup cans. Housewives in put-up hair, in beige, shapeless and wrinkled raincoats shift in their choices between this kind of cracker or that bread, their eyes dull and glassy or ferocious with unacknowledged passion. A boy is stooping to line up bottles of fabric softener, self-conscious and hot around the collar. And he is a poet. Women stand pounding the check-out registers, from soup to nuts, free dog bones, mastocelli noodles, and all with migraines. And they are poets. The manager sits in his tiny booth and counts receipts, now and then staring out over the vast panorama which is this voiceless, heartless, mute and lonely humanity, robot-like as they, passing, push their wire carts. Someday, he will write the great poem of their souls. 

It is everywhere this poetry. It is the sacred name of every place, it is the nut and bolt, the bleeder valve, the kite string of reality. It is the deep end of the pool, whose water shivers, whose bottom backs off into blue. It is the unsung, the unsaid, it is the uttered and the barely felt, the blue bird, the red. It is the ache at midnight, the slap in the face, the letter, neglected for so long, we were meaning to write to that which within us has waited, aching for so long.” — Greg Kuzma, from an introductory note in What Poetry Is All About. This isn’t even the introduction. This is from a note preceding the introduction and the subsequent updated introductions, one for each edition of the text, up until an introduction to the fifth edition, which is the one I found in a treasure trove of secondhand books in Philadelphia. It was near closing, clean on the other side of Philly from where I was staying, and I was travelling out of the city the following morning. And I’m so glad I made the effort to get there. Because I found this. (via jslr)

[seagull-scribbles]

Lie Awake

A TMNT 2012 Casey and Raph ficlet [AO3]

word count: 1,191

just a small drabble focusing on Casey and his view of their relationship. I didn't write this as a ship fic, but I do ship them so you can interpret it as platonic or romantic

Casey hates people seeing him as weak. He wears every cut, bruise and mark like a medal, a badge of honour for a hockey game well played or a fight well fought. He hates when neighbours or the school populace look at him with pity in their eyes and sympathy coating their words like sponge covering a toddlers playroom or bubble wrap suffocating a porcelain doll.

So what if he doesn't have a mom anymore? Who cares about his deadbeat dad? Casey is keeping his promise and at almost 17 is protecting and looking after his sister, the best player on a hockey team within the region and a vigilante the purple dragons will write legends about. He is strong and brave. He bounces back from anything with a witty comment and a toothy grin. Missing incisors be damned.

So why is this different? Strong, calloused, leathery hands gently graze over fragile skin. Instead of the usual burn of anger such caution would ignite, Casey Jones feels a sense of calm and his breath almost gets caught in his throat. Almost. Arms he has seen tear robots to shreds, dislocate joints from vigilantes, break monstrous jaws are now delicately tracing over his pale soft surface, well- it should be pale but the current complection is primarily a mixture of injuries, marks and dirt. Purple, blue, green, yellow, pinks, reds- any colour besides a natural skin tone coats his body like a vandalised back alley wall.

The hand stops moving and instead a comforting weight is placed across Casey's chest and torso. The weight he has seen choke and crush wrong-dooers, crack brick walls and dent spaceship walls now comfortably rests along his side like a weighted blanket, the arm across his middle.

Awareness of his current location comes back. Why's the ceiling looking blurry suddenly? Casey realises his eyes are starting to water. These can't be tears of frustration though? Maybe these are not new tears but the remnants of the storm that leaked from those eyes earlier this evening, in the privacy of these four walls as his own inner walls crumbled in Front of his current companion. No mask or face paint or armour, no facade of cokyness and happiness. His emotions are raw and his mind is still screaming at him, maybe that's why he hadn't noticed the burning eyes. These tears can't be new. Definitely not! He's happy and safe now, why would they be? He is brought from his thoughts as a hard smooth surface buts the bottom of his jaw, sending a short vibration of pain through his skull.

"'Ya sure this is alright?" A gruff voice nervously whispers.

"Yeah, 's fine" he mumbles back before finally looking down at the friend pressed against him. His own voice sounds raspy and sore. Perfect.

Raph has put his head back down on the pillow, his beak fitting like a jigsaw puzzle in the gap above Casey's shoulder. The bolt he'd felt had been from Ralph bucking his head to hit his jaw with the top curve of his beak. It hurt a little but he isn't fragile. Raph knows that. All he can feel now is that comforting weight on his side. He's focusing on it. Raph certainly wasn't scared to touch him. Why else would he hit him to gain his attention?

Soft cold breath gently brushes against Casey's neck in delicate puffs.

"I can sleep on the floor y'know?" tiredly drifts out of the terrapin creatures mouth "This bed ain't exactly made for two"

"Nah it's your room, I'm the intruder"

"Hmm" Raph lazily hums and slightly squeezes his ribs, getting comfortable in his squashed position on the edge of the bed "a warm one".

Casey sits there in silence for a bit, his friend drifting off to sleep. The overwhelming smell of sweat and blood and the sewers clogging his nose. Raphael is the only person Casey talks to about his home life, the only one he talks about his troubles too. He knows Raph instils that same comfort and confidence in him as he tells the lanky teen his own insecurities and secrets.

Tender moments like these however? They usually proceed fights. Fights they start coated in darkness or just heated spars between friends who are shouting and blowing off steam. They'd collapse with exhaustion on some random rooftop and through jagged breaths become vulnerable, no eye contact, maybe a squeeze of the hand or a punch in the side to let the other one know they're there. Kind, soft and comforting pain. Like the kind you get from laughing too hard or playing a game. It is strange to think they are now squashed and laid across each other, even if the reptile insists the body warmth was an exciting upgrade to his sleeping arrangement.

Casey was kicked out tonight after a particularly bad fight at home, he limped his way to his usual meeting spot and a few texts later Raph was on his way. He's going to be staying here with his friend, just tonight... he'll go home tomorrow. No one else in the sewer family needs to know why, Raph will come up with a lame excuse to torment him with. The thought makes him smile a little. Raph is the epitome of masculinity. Testosterone coats his existence like a second shell. He's violent and abrasive and yet here he is, not throwing punches, but still being gentle. His body weight is not entirely on top of the teen, but it is there along his right side nonetheless. He wasn't repulsed by Casey and he hadn't tried sugar coating anything all night. When he 'picked him up' he'd joked at Casey's expense and made the boy laugh. Casey wasn't too sure how Raph managed to create such a strong positive moment up on that rooftop in those circumstances. But none of the Hamato clan followed logic by nature so maybe that is not so surprising.

Casey isn't sure why this isn't affecting him the way it usually does. He feels calm and safe, even stripped down to his boxers and pressed into an old smelly matrice and cold metal wall.

Maybe it's because he keeps reminding himself that Raph doesn't see the squishy, thin human as delicate. He knows the turtle enough to know he considers Casey a great enough fighter to stand amongst his brothers, without any formal training or skill.

Maybe that's why this tender moment is nice? Raph isn't scared Casey will break, he wouldn't touch him if he thought he'd be hurt. Raph wouldn't joke with him and invite him here like this. The ninja had seen the boy break earlier, as he broke down and sobbed on the bed when they first arrived at the decorated subway car. The weight against him now is heavy, not crushing. It's grounding him.

Why is being treated tenderly so nice right now? Maybe that's the kind of privilege having a best friend creates? He doesn't remember his childhood friend creating such a welcoming environment before though.

Casey hates people seeing him as weak. Raph doesn't, even now.

[boltslutters]

Are all your ocs robots in some way? Or I guess what species would you classify them as (for the non tf ones)? 

Nope! They might look like it, but a large portion of my ocs are anthro dragons because my writing started as a wof au and it'll cherish those roots goddamnit. And some of the more robotic ones too aren't man-made, so it's like a flavor of biological. As for species, 90% of them are made up for this world specifically. Of the ones in the image, the non-man-made-robot and organic/semi-organic species are:

Illizyka's species isn't named, but she's a void-corrupted creature that uses a metal body to be able to interact and operate in any world as sol pleases.

Don't have much on this gal's species, but it's bug-like with a chitinous exoskeleton.

9H7R-A (Niesserae)'s species is the closest to organic machine I have. They are specifically lab-grown and designed to keep a highly mechanical and technically precise civilization running essentially forever.

I think this guy is mechanical, but he sure as shit doesn't stay that way for long.

Peyon is part of a race of mortals who compliment and worship their gods. They're small, mammalian, and are trait-dependent to which god/arcana they live in. Doll is their sentient doll based off an old sona of mine.

Don't remember this guy. Think their species is semi-mechanical

This guy is completely mechanical, but wasn't built by mankind, instead, by a self-sustaining mechanical race of quadrupeds I call Cyclers due to wheels they hold on their body magnetically. (there's actually lots of more ocs of this species, but they have distinct beaked snouts instead of strict triangle and I was not going to subject myself to more torture than I had too).

Rose, Thunder, & Torus are all members of a species of insanely powerful but insanely empathic species that runs the dominant governmental body of the main world. Torus was on a diplomatic mission, had too much of their old power and was too empathetic. Through accident, they became an amnesiac and through their empathetic powers, latched onto the memories and emotions of the local populous, and ended up believing they were a member of said species and would live on before someone figured out.

Killjoy, Toizon, Heron, Guziel, Datar, Banott, Stung, & Professor Tebya are all pat of a race known as Ermista or Ista depending on how badly I cringe at the name Ermista. They're a race of bug/bird-like bipeds who completely lack sexual dimorphism, live on a planet with a sun that hates them, and has a metamorphosis where they get their wings.

Of any race here, Ermista have the most lore and culture, such as most Ermista who live up north tend to live in small villages. Most know how to hand-weave fabric, as they make a flag they put into the ground to mark where they're cocooning (they go through metamorphosis unground), then carry that flag through the rest of their lives as a mark of identity and a sort of right of passage. They have different systems of magic and those systems interact differently with each other (although some are more fleshed out than others). They don't have a dominant sex and don't really exercise gender roles at all.

This one's a god. He could use a philosophy class about pain.

These two are creations of that god (called Paragons), designed to be perfect, never rot, and never suffer, and essentially lead the happy lives he never got to.

Ionize is also a member of that same species, just far, far into the future after Titatiaraum is dead and members of his perfect race have since either left, evolved, and otherwise altered.

I've almost forgotten everything but I do remember her species was pretty short compared to everyone else.

I'll save these because you mentioned them in another ask ;)

Another god, this one turned mortal willingly and got to watch his god-siblings tear themselves to shreds.

Part of a race of immortal beings that rot into animals, and grow back/heal into trees. I suppose this guy also needs to be included too

Yet another god, this sucker's puppeting a mechanical body though

Semnastica and Mourana are both members of the same species, Semnastica being male and Mourana being female. They're both quadrupeds and have powers because they hatched under blood moons because I made Semnastica when I was 14 at most. (I'm thinking about making these two's species (or Xulanium's) predecessors of the race Torus disguises as and later amnesias themselves into.

I THINK Salisun was supposed to be a fusion of a Cycler and something else organic, but he's also 90% aesthetic.

I've never figured out how to flesh out her species or Ouna herself, but they've got goo for hair and horns. That's coincidentally the only goo-species I've ever made. Huh.

Don't have many details on his species but they were somewhat civilized warrior-cats style and built little huts despite being quadruped.

No details on Mono, they're 100% aesthetic.

These two are the member of the same species and they're small and fluffy and have only one sex. They're also fluffy.

While Bypin is a pure machine, built by "man" and a full robot, I want to highlight them because they're one member of a race of centaur dragon tanks, who live on a planet in the same System as the Ermista, but closer to their hateful sun god that frequently sends down increasingly disturbing bird-angels to destroy all life on its planets (its planets are its children so its like fleas on your child). The race on that planet stays mostly underground until they developed the technology to remove their souls and place them in mechanical bodies they can use to fight back (Remizular is an example of a member of that race who was once organic, but later became tank (I lost their redesign that account deletion comes back to bite me in the ass)).

(Honestly, tank dragon centaurs are really cool FIGHT ME)

OKAY. I CAN'T ADD ANY MORE IMAGES SO THAT'S ALL YOU GET.

There are a few more species that don't have triangular faces and don't have characters in them as like, prey or purely animalistic species. I really need to focus on that side of it more wtf.

[maryaustria]

favourite metroid?

always like the zeta metroids. they look like an akward teenage phase of the metroid evolution. it doesnt look as goofy in the remake of two and they made it look a bit too similar to the omega one in there imo.

also shout out to these two from prime. i like the different metroid mutations from the prime series

genuinley thought the question was about the species at first lol. ill still answer the game question.

its hard question for me to answer since i like most of them a lot. mostly not a fan of the first two games. although i should give them another go. probably wont like it as much as the others but i should give them another shot

for the 2d ones it comes down to either fusion, zero mission or dread.

zero mission is probably the one im most familiar with since i played it a lot on my phone. its THE metroid if you ask me. its the best place to start out of all them. its got all the basic elements that make metroidvanias great to me. the exploration is fun and even though it has stuff that shows you where to go you can still get lost really easily and it doesnt hold your hand too much. getting items is fun although some of them in the later feel like theyre just lying around in your way for you to pick up. the story isnt too interesting obviously but i love the little section at the chozo ruins with the little drawing from samus. its also the only game i managed to beat fast enough to get samus to take off her suit.

fusion is probably the most lineral out of all of the metroid games. while both it and zero mission have systems that point you to your next objective, with fusion i feel the level design is layed out that there isnt too much exploration that you do on your own. there are the optional items obviously, and to their credit the items are really hidden in this game, but they are still just optional. it is the hardest game imo. your defense is really low even with the gravity suit. the bosses can be really demanding as well. looking at you yakuza and chozo statue. he story is really fun though. its nice that we get to hear samus talk and think in this game. they managed to keep her cool while not making her an emotionless robot and her inner monolog is always nice to hear. at times it feels a bit interrupting to the actual game but its still nice.

for dread its easily the best mechanically. its fast, responsive, the exploration is great and the movement is fun to execute and to master. exploration is fun as well and the abilities make revisiting areas really fun. theres also events in the game which change the world so revisiting areas is exciting too. story is the most emotional one imo. the way samus interacts with the different characters in the game. raven beak is proably the most fun villain in the series and his fight is awesome. samus is so emotive in the game as well. the way she carries herself in cutscenes says a lot about her as a character without saying a word.

im still not sure which one i would say is my favorite. i think i would need to replay dread again to really be sure. i only played that one twice.

for the 3d ones i think its just basic prime 1. i played it the most and its the safest one out of the three. i think i again just have to play 2 and 3 some more to be really sure. i like the bigger focus on exploration instead of speed in the 2d ones.

i could proably talk more about the prime series but its been pretty long since i played them

EXCEPT ALL THIS TALK WAS JUST FOR SHOW BECAUSE THE REAL GOAT IS METROID PRIME PINBALL BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mx-mongoose]

ROTTMNT characters if they were in 2012

Casey Junior 💀🏒

- So its the future timeline. Casey and April are still alive, Donnie hasn’t turned himself into a robot yet. All of them in their early 20s. Raph still has amnesia though.

- Its hard to say it Casey senior is thriving or not. Like he’s definitely vibing with Mad Max thing going on, but he does mask (no pun intended) a lot of his emotions behind his arrogant persona. He really misses his little sister. He misses playing Hockey too but with how dry it is its virtually impossible.

- He found Junior in a dumpster while scavenging for food. The baby was injured and malnourished like its been sitting there for a while. Casey took the baby back to the ShellRaiser.

—

“Casey, what is that?” Raphael pointed at Casey’s cape, which was wrapped up like a swaddle and was crying.

“Guys I can explain-“ He croaked but was immediately cut off.

“CASEY, IS THAT A BABY?!” April shrieked, rushing over and peering over Casey’s arms.

The baby had scraggly black hair prickling from his head and had minor injuries all over him. His face was boney though when it was supposed to be brimming with plump and fat. He was wailing like mad and grabbing at nothing.

“No, it's a dog I found,” Casey quipped mirthlessly

“I’ll go find if there’s anything they can eat!” April was on it as she rushed to the small pantry they had.

“Oh my god, out of the most boneheaded decisions you’ve ever made this takes the cake, Jones,” Donnie exclaimed, gesturing towards the baby.

“Can babies have regular milk, Red?” Casey ignored Donnie’s insult and hovered over April who was pushing way canned rations.

“No, but the milk grew some mold anyway,” April shook her head, not breaking focus.

“Do gas stations have formula?” Casey asked, quick and stern. Moreso than he's ever been in a while

“Dude, the baby is gonna die anyways! Its a liability,” Donnie stated, pinching the bridge of his beak. “We barely have enough food for our-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE, DON,” Casey screamed at purple masked turtle, his voice making the baby sob louder if that was even possible. Venom spit from his voice and hugged the baby to his chest.

“What do you want me to?! Throw it out the window!” He continued to retort.

“Maybe if it means we won’t starve to death!”

“The dude won’t even eat the same food as us, he just needs milk!”

“And when it needs to eat the same food as us?!”

“Its gonna eat smaller portions as us anyways!”

“Raph, say something!” Donnie demands, quickly averted his gaze towards his big brother. He was sitting in the drivers seat in deep thought, gripping the steering wheel and staring at nothing.

Casey pushed away Donnie and towards his best friend. “Raph, please. I can’t let the little guy die. If there’s even just the smallest chance I can save him,” He pleaded. Casey Jones never pleaded or begged, he got what he wanted and would never take no for an answer. But this time he was desperate.

“Please, dude,” It came out as a raspy whisper, holding out even the tiniest bit of hope.

Raphael groaned before looking back towards the baby and then Casey, “You’re really serious about this kid huh, Jones?”

“You’d know if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here,”

Raphael stared at Casey for a long time. He couldn’t tell if the Terrapin was looking for something, tired or both but eventually it ended with a dry-

“There should be some abandoned daycares nearby, if we book it then we’ll get to one of them in five,”

A thankful smile grew on Casey’s face and sighed in relief. The exasperated squawks of Donatello going in one ear and out the other.

—

- The ragtag group tried their best with Junior. Donnie installed a crib connected to the wall, they usually gave the soup and soft foods to Junior, took turns staying up with him, you’d be surprised how much stuff you can substitute for baby diapers.

- They came up with Casey Junior because Casey decided on it and wouldn't budge. Claiming "He's named after the strongest and badass warrior I know,

Junior actually gave all of them their titles once he learned how to speak.

Casey is dad

Raphael is Raphie

Donnie is Don-Don

April is just April and she was so salty about it.

Despite being raised by literal warriors and vigilantes, in nature he was a pretty gentle and docile kid. Sure he knew when to defend himself the time called for it, but overall a good kid to say the least. (Also still a total fanboy, constantly wanting to hear stories from before and his family's adventures when they were young)

He still has his Hockey Stick chainsaw but it was originally Casey's before he passed. Its less advanced and quality as Rise's but it still gets the job done. Casey's mask was passed down as well

I'd say the main difference between him and Rise is that he's a lot less formal and regulated. Instead of growing up in the resistance, he was just adopted by a ragtag team of nomads. He's less like a soldier and more of a kid just trying to figure himself out while growing up in a post-war earth. He knows how to survive and knows battle techniques but not to the capacity as Rise. He's a lot looser with his stratagies if that makes sense.

Once they found Mikey and Leo, GOD was Junior just gawking and fanboying all over the place. Leo and Mikey were just stunned Casey had a kid and he's still alive. Though they were hurt to hear about his and April's passing

Debating if I should a part 2 about if he was sent back in time too

[superkitty4789]

Here we go with another list! This time it's....

Top 10 Metroid Characters + Honorable mentions

Spoilers ahead, be warned

 

Honororable mentions: Kraid, 6 bounty hunters from Prime Hunters 

Kraid. Fat fuck. Love him. I don't know a lot about him, but he looks cool

The other hunters from Prime Hunters also look cool. Plus, they're each unique with their own things going on. They are all amazing but missed the cut.

10 Gray Voice 

My least favorite of the chozo parents of Samus. I've never read the comics, so I'm going off little info, but he looks cool and helped raise Samus. The chozo are cool in general, so it boosts him up to 10th. Congrats, Gray Voice

9 Quiet Robe

A chozo I actually know about! I love Quiet Robe's story, and I kinda wished he had lived. One of my biggest wants for the metroid series growing up was for Samus to find loving chozo, so I was sad when he died. But! He's still a good character, and he earns his spot on my list

8 Ghor

Very cool character! I love that he's essentially a gentle giant until he gets corrupted. I wonder what could've been if he hadn't. He is an epic robot dude who deserved better... but at least his fight was cool.

7 Old Bird Old grandfather birb! Yes! Love him. Potentially , the only reason he isn't higher is because I don't know much about him. But I love the Grandfather birb

6 Ridley

I hate that he's so low...but the other 5 are just so awesome to me. Well, there's a lot about Ridley I like. He's one of my favorite Nintendo villains for his viciousness and cruelty. He doesn't shy away from murder and that's kind of a suprise for a Nintendo villain. He's ruthless and heartless and the cunning God of death, and he's epic. He's the perfect arch-enemyfor Samus, as she's pretty mature for a Nintendo character, too. I kinda headlining that he looks forward to fighting Samus because he views her as a worthy adversary...obe he'd like to kill, of course,but worthy all the same. Overall, Ridley is a great villain

5 U-Mos 

OK, this is kind of embarrassing. Part of the reason I like him so much is because, as a dumb preteen, I had a self insert where I was from Samus's planet and got adopted by the luminoth instead of the chozo. It was very dumb and very cringe, but it made me really like U-Mos because I made him my OC's adopted father. Even without all that, though, I think he's a solid character who serves his role to help tell an amazing story. Plus... he's the guardian of the defenseless and sleeping luminoth, and I think that's great!

4 Raven Beak

I did not see an evil chozo coming, so he took me by suprise....but that said, it was a good one. I kinda just expected all chozo to be good, but it makes sense that that's not the case. Every sentient species probably has at least one bad apple. I love that he wears armor and his boss fight. Also, it's amazing that he's like Samus's evil adoptive dad. He's great. Love him. I hope he comes back like Ridley keeps doing.

3 Samus

Ugh, it hurts to put her so low. It physically pains me... but it must be done. I remember the day I found out Samus was a girl. I was playing Brawl with my older brother, and she used he final smash. I was taken aback. A girl wearing armor and being badass!? Nowadays, it's silly to think that buy it was mindblowing back then. She's epic and so freaking badass! She's so strong-willed, and I love that she represents strong women so well (Ignoring Other M. It isn't Canon in my mind) I love Samus. she's one of my favorite protagonists in all of gaming for how epic she is.

2 Dark Samus

She's so cool! Side note her theme is my favorite metroid song. From the very moment we see her secret ending in Prime 1 to her last moment inPrime 3, Dark Samus is amazing. She's such a good antagonist who just wants to absorb phazon until Samus pisses her off. I love that it makes sense how she keeps coming back and her fights are my favorite part about Prime 2 and my second favorite part about Prime 3. Absolute icon.

1 Rundas

Ughhhh. I wish so bad that he didn't die! He was so coooool! (Pun not intended) His ice powers were a marvel to watch, and his personality had me at the edge of my seat! I wanted so badly for Samus to save him and her owing him one to be resolved! I wanted so badly for him to help take on Dark Samus with Samus. But that didn't happen. At least his boss fight was cool, and he got some screentime to show me how amazing he was. Some people might not like how high i put him,but Rundas will probably always be my favorite Metroid character.

Tier List time!

C: Kraid, Kanden, Trace, Noxus, Spire, Weavil, Sylux

B: Gray Voice, Quiet Robe, Ghor

A: Old Bird, Ridley, U-Mos, Raven Beak

S: Samus, Dark Samus, Rundas

[the-scungles-of-crungles]

I honestly want more of the weird sentient animatronic horrors that fnaf security breach and ruin have going on. Yeah we're probably gonna go back in the timeline for the next game, but I would like more pizzaplex stuff, the glamrocks have some SERIOUS issues that fazbear entertainment made infinitely worse with their treatment of the animatronics. And it's horrifying.

And then after they get shattered (and whatever the hell happened to them in ruin) it all gets WORSE. Like everyone knows about Roxy's... Well, everything. But Chica REALLY freaks me out. There's her apparent eating disorder, which. Well. That's fucked up. But the thing that REALLY gets me is her shattered form. The fact that you literally rip out her voice box, and she can only make these horrible screeching sounds (which, if you listen close enough, you can tell she's actually still trying to speak. Which is EXTRA horrifying) AND her animations. Her weird eyes are even weirder now. The way she moves even MORE like a zombie. Oh and her freaky mouth-hole after her beak gets quite literally kicked off of her face (the cutscene where gregory trash-compacts her is so brutal. Like, every animatronic's shattering animation is fucked up but gregory doesn't actually physically hit them. Chica gets shoved and kicked, AND crushed 2 times by the trash compactor. Yikes.)

Basically. Chica is scary in general. But after she gets fucked up, she's EXTRA scary. And doomed to an awful existence.

Also Monty is weird, because he just has anger issues before getting REKT, but then just seems to...Give up. Until ruin. I know it's probably not intentional, like it's probably a glitch, but the fact that he hardly moves after being shattered, and doesn't talk at all, makes it seem like he's just given up on trying to hunt down gregory.

But then in ruin he's gone fucking feral. Also he seems to have ripped his outer casing off, probably so he could move faster. I mean that's just what I THINK happened, but it seems likely...

But... The animatronics can feel pain. Doesn't that hurt? Having no skin, essentially? The extra wires trailing behind him? Isn't that like. Exposed nerves or something

I think that's what drove him completely insane. He's lost himself entirely. Also I do think the fall from the monty golf catwalks gave him some robot brain damage. .. But yeah! He's majorly fucked up and has essentially turned into a rabid dog. With no back legs. And also made of metal.

...

Yeah. ..

[mmuffncakes]

Tell me about your 3 original fiction stories!!! Are they all horror? The names sound like it but I wanna know more!

so because i answered a little bit prior about Owl Falls i'll give a snippet for this one! (This is unedited)

Dakota’s mind stopped when he saw it.

                In the cockpit, nearly hidden by shadows but lit enough by the dim flicker of the flame, was a mask. But not just any old mask… the mask of the most wanted criminal in North America. It was off-white from age and old blood, a streak across the nose and forehead from what looked like a gruesome kill. It was flat, the nose pointed down, made to look like a beak, the eyes wide. The Owl. His heart skipped a beat, maybe two, as he pushed himself away from the body.

                Standing back, he could see the oh so very slow rise and fall of the man’s chest. Not just any man. The Owl. How many kills were under his belt? How many times had Dakota heard the code name crackle through the radio? And here he was, laying in a pile of slush; pale, bloody, injured, broken, on the brink of death… breathing.

                Dakota wasn’t sure how long he stared at The Owl, watching him breathe. He couldn’t figure out his thoughts. Leave him to die? Dakota could already feel the trauma of letting someone die and rot in the woods, no matter how rotten of a person they were. Bring him back? Heal him up? Let the authorities take him? Would he even confirm his identity? Wouldn’t he try to escape? Well… not with that ankle he wouldn’t.

                The turmoil in his head was getting overwhelming.

                And despite it all: Dakota refused to leave a man to die. No matter the atrocities he committed.

The Untitled Slasher one, I beeeliiiieeevvveeee !!! you actually saw me draw the main character for it way back when in the server: Shane. But this one is still just a concept. But it's heavily inspired by Freddy 2, actually. In the concept of how much are the murders the main character and how much of them are the Slasher behind the mask. It would follow Shane, who is a cryptid hunter/camp counselor in the 90's as he's helping to clean up camp and reset it up between camp sessions. It's here he comes across a masked man in the woods that he grows a soft relationship with. And during this time, he starts to lose his mind over things people are saying, what theyre doing, and its a slow descent into him thinking he's waking up with blood on his hands when one of his fellow counselors is found dead or goes missing, and the constant control thats leaking into him from the masked man. its a *concept* rn. it defo needs some passes, and defo needs some work.

The Black Box is actually a cyber-punk sci-fi short I wrote that I wanted to develop more into something a bit more. It's defo out of my comfort zone for what I normally write in genre's, but I still enjoyed the characters I created for it (Rook, Stranger, and Tiger Othello). That one focuses on Rook, a hired thief by Tiger Othello to obtain a black box. Once she has it, she starts getting hunted down by Tiger Othello's men, realizing this was a set-up. In her escape, she meets Stranger, an interesting mind inside of a robotic body that she's yet to figure out. But they have secrets and information about Tiger Othello and the two team up to get unframed while uncovering some deeper secrets. I beliieeeve you've also seen the art of that one!

[dragonspleenspicy]

(This is a test. Please rate your reaction to this on a scale of Very Unsatisfactory to Very Satisfactory)

You sigh as your arm is being fixed. Only a week ago you found out you had been a robot this whole time. Which was weird because you could feel and cry and cum like an organic creature. Human? Bird-alien?

You were confused about your identity but at least now you knew the truth, and now you knew you had a remote access panel. It had so many buttons…

When you were finished being fixed, you took the remote and went for a walk. You appeared like any other bird-person on your planet, with beautiful bright feathers of your favourite colour. Male feathers for sure, but you didn’t want to dye them brown like other birds did when they decided to transition. You liked the colour. Your eyes had the sensitivity of a hawk, and your talons and beak were always sharp. Of course, they were metal, so they didn’t wear as quickly as organic material would…

You were paying attention to the remote as you walked down the street. You were tempted to press some buttons… Finally, you gave in, pressing a small blue button.

Suddenly, your chest whirred and clinked as it became bigger. You looked down to see the usual flatness was now resemblance of human breasts. Strange. You looked around to see if anybody had noticed. Nobody had.

You pressed another button and suddenly you felt your head change. You reached up to feel cat ears coming from your feathered head. Oh no, people would definitely notice that. You tried pressing the button again, but hit the wrong one, which, with a few clicks, (and a rather nice sensation) suddenly your cock was inverted into a cloaca with a womb.

You blushed as you noticed a taller alien had seen that. He winked at you, chuckling. “Playing with yourself in the street. What a naughty robot.” That was all he said as he passed by.

You tried pressing a few more buttons to at least get rid of the cat ears, but each one made a different change to your body, and more and more people were noticing. Nobody seemed angry at you, though, and most were definitely into it.

Finally, a lizard-like alien grabbed your remote from you. “Darling, putting on a show for us? Why don’t you let me play~?” He held the remote out of your reach and lightly twisted a dial.

You whimpered as you felt your new nipples vibrate lightly. People were staring. Some of them were very invested.

The tall reptilian pressed two buttons at once, which made a long chord come out of the remote. He knelt down and plugged the chord right where your clit would be. It felt strange but good and made you squeak in surprise.

“My turn!” Another bird person grabbed the remote, still connected to you, and spun another dial far to the right, which made the chord vibrate violently. Somebody else grabbed the remote and you suddenly had a tail that was moving up and down in its socket. It felt like anal, in the best way.

More people took turns with your remote, causing your body to do different things. One alien even shoved your beak into his cunt as another pressed some buttons on the remote that made your tongue longer and ribbed the metal.

By the end of it all, you hadn’t learned anything new about which button did what, except that strangers were so helpful~

(Please excuse if this feels rough or rushed)

VERY satisfied, damn I love this oh wow