#so i hope tumblr still only keywords the first 5 tags

[fandom-hoarder]

Out of respect for the discord, I'm gonna say this here, because I was watching the eclipse and killing my car during the discussion.

Fanon =/= Headcanon, and it's not the same as a singular fan's headcanon that isn't supported by canon

Fanon is essentially a reading, interpretation, or headcanon that spreads widely in a fandom and gets adopted as a popularly accepted "fandom canon." Such as Sheriff Stilinski's first name being John before the show named him something completely incorrect.

Headcanon is personal to each individual's preferred reading of the show, based on canon or not. A canon that exists in one person's head.

The reason fanon tends to have a pejorative tone in fandom is because some fans are prone to attacking others for not accepting a common fanon, or the readings of "subtext" that led to it, as canon. And they insist that the way THEY read canon is the ONLY possible reading of canon.

And, personally, I think it's important to distinguish my headcanon of bi!dean (and aro!dean) apart from the fanon (dare i say, qfanon) of the hellers' bi!dean. The particular distinguishment being that I understand that wasn't the intent of canon, and there was no hidden bi agenda that got snuffed.

Having some of the same bi!dean subtext notes isn't the problem. It's when someone insists that was the intent. It's the unironic "there is no heterosexual reason for this" of it all. I know we're all queer shipping around here and all, but that doesn't exclude a certain whiff of homophobia and gender binary shit to the insistence that straight guys can't do [thing].

Just because you read Dean's look at Dr Sexy as queer, doesn't mean that's what it was. TPTB have said this themselves. And just because [a character from the book the vibes of spn was based on] was intended as bi doesn't mean Dean was intended to be bi. You can read that subtext into your headcanon, but that doesn't make it canon overall. Not even if it becomes fanon.

So when someone insists that's what it WAS not what they HEADCANON it was, it starts to make those of us scarred by heller qfanon very wary.

That said. We need to stop conflating fanon and headcanon so we can each enjoy our individual readings and share in the love of the show.

[nathank77]

4/22/24

2:37 a.m edited..

So after a thorough investigation of fb, you can't hide your tags if the post is public if it's someone else's post. All you can do is untag yourself.

You only have full control over your posts. I mean you have control over your tags but I know you're not removing and re-adding your tags. I tested it with my multiple fb accounts bc I had to know. I'm actually a, "victim," of the metaverse/keyword data tracking. I went on my computer and searched first name last name family reunion, bam its there. First name last name ex husband's name bam.

So If I haven't terrified you and made you think I'm a complete psychotic mess, I mean you probably were waiting for me to make this discovery. Although I'm going to be real.

You're scared of me, you think I'm a crazy stalker, that I'm insane and you prob only come to my tumblr to make sure you and your family are safe.

I probably scared the shit out of you posting about your divorce, I could only imagine. I didn't type in info to find the photos, Elise. All i typed was your first and last name and fb constantly changed what was tagged under your name... and I thought you were communicating with me bc when I searched things up about tagging and fb I couldn't find direct answers.

Anyways If you aren't scared of me, I'm sorry I lost myself. I guess I'll check your actual fb occasionally like once a month or something. Cause that never changes and generally that's all you have control over. Unless you want to untag and re-tag yourself which isn't realistic.

I feel like a fucking idiot.

Wake up by silverstein really fits right now. I can only imagine what you see when you look at me.

As of this moment i have this:

1) your pose change

2) the fact you haven't blocked me or rejected it- which could be a way to protect yourself from me...

3) it going from everyone to friends the day before i went to the brass mill mall.

4) it going from friends to everyone the day before i went to the west farms mall.

5) your bio and profile picture changing the day after I posted about your divorce from your ex husband and how it appears he left your daughters without a father. And I posted shape shift the day before.

99% of this could be circumstantial. I mean the pose the day you blocked me is a little hard to believe unless you're protecting yourself... I don't think it was circumstantial...

The friends to everyone and back I mean it could be a way to say I'm reading...

Either way my intentions were good and fb really played with me. You never did.

I hope you don't see a psychotic crazy guy you need to protect yourself from. I'm not coming for you. I wish you'd come for me though.

I don't expect anything from you. I never expect to see or hear from you again. I can only imagine how I look. Over here like this post changed. Omg you posted this. Christ I want to jump off a bridge.

The worse part is only bc I have psychosis am I beating myself up over it- I would have assumed you could control individually what shows up when someone searches you...

Yet that doesn't matter. I'm sorry I can only imagine what you see when you look at me.

I'm sure you think I'm a psychotic stalker. I'm sure you don't see me as the boy across the Webcam anymore. I'm sure at this point our eye contacts only means one thing to you- I don't see Nathan behind those eyes anymore.

I'm sorry you met me. I'm not sorry I met you. You're still a poem earth wrote to keep me alive. Although I'm sure I'll never hear from you.

"I saw the light, I went to hell

But the devil never looked my way"

"Flatlines now I've lost my tomorrow

I've paid the debt of the time I've been borrowing

Nothing can save me

There's nothing in the mirror

Now all I am is a dead reflection"

I'll assume you are protecting yourself and you think I'm insane.

All I am is a dead reflection- I went to hell (psychosis) but the devil didn't look my way- bc I only ever meant to love you even if loving you meant never knowing you.

I truly hope you're happy and I hope I didn't terrify you. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.

Goodbye Elise.

[hayjeon]

Tips on creating fun fanfic headers!

i had so much fun writing the fanfic writing tips yesterday and i got a few more questions about header-making, and so i decided to make one more of these! i hope these tips help somebody out there! hope you enjoy :) 

p.s. these tips won’t require any hard editing skills or photoshop skills, nor any expensive tablets/apps! 

typically i spend around ~5-10 min creating one header, and that’s either after i think of/finish a fic. i have so much fun doing it and sharing it with you that i figured i’d share how i do it! 

why headers? 

as I talked about in my fic tips, one of the most eye-catching things about fics are headers. when i’m scrolling through a rec page, my home page, a tag, or even someone’s masterlist, i’m immediately drawn to well-made headers. that’s what captures my attention, and then i’m more drawn in by the content. so, you can say that headers is your own version of an ad for your own fic, or an extension of it (like the cover of a novel!) 

if you were writing your own book, imagine how much time you’d spend figuring out what you wanted your cover to look like. i try to have as much fun and invest as much time making my own headers because it’s just the cherry on top to my finished product :) 

disclaimer: BUT HEADERS ARE NOT NECESSARY/DO OR DIE! if you don’t feel like you want to do this, then keep writing! its ok! this is just a suggestion. i’ve seen plenty of well-written fics without headers at all, so don’t beat yourself up over not having one/not wanting to do one. this is truly just a fun, extra kind of thing, and only keep reading if you want to learn how i do it! :) 

tips for people who don’t want to make headers: if you still want something to make your fic stand out, use gifs! i use them in my drabbles a lot! this will at least give ur fic a lil boost! 

how to find pictures

I typically use unsplash, which is a free website in which photographers upload their HQ pics for free use. the pics are really high quality, typically stock photos, and don’t have any logos on them like other ones on google. unfortunately, you won’t find any pics of the members or anything, but you’ll find beautiful stock photos of typical scenes like “ocean scene” or “desert scene.” I found the stock photo for cut me open (shown below) on that site by just looking up “medical” or “doctor”. 

i used to use google a lot and just use keywords like “desert scene HQ” and edit the search settings to deliver HQ pics, and a minimum # of pixels, but unplash is definitely better in terms of quality, more aesthetic photos, and no logos/watermarks. 

on some occasions, i will screenshot some scenes of youtube videos, turning up the quality to 1080p or 4k and zooming in so that the pixelation is as crisp as possible, and then editing it later to look good (which i’ll explain in a second!) 

the above photo was a scene from the specific characters from the drama, “100 Days My Prince” that I screenshotted from a youtube video that TvN uploaded, recapping the drama. I cropped it just right so that their faces were left out, which i’ll also mention soon! 

things to look for when picking pictures: 

you want the picture to reflect a specific motif/theme from your fic! if its a moody fic, then try to find a moody scene that you can edit with filters/lighting to look even moodier; or if the characters’ jobs are a big portion of the fic (like cut me open/doctor theme) try to look for stock photos with that shown very clearly!

make sure its high quality: tumblr really dumbs down the quality of the photo when uploading it, so try your best to find something with a lot of pixels in it so that when you start editing, you don’t sacrifice too much of the quality already

try to look for something simple/clean: a picture with too much subject (ie. people in the background, or too much detail) may end up taking away from the main point of your header, which is your title. so find pics without too much clutter! 

try to make sure its landscape: which will help during editing to save some of the quality better. 

editing your pictures

now that you have a specific photo you want to use, now its time to edit! I use VSCO CAM (free app) and my own apple photos cropping tool for faster crops. 

crop/adjust: if your picture is too large/wide, crop it to at least a 16:9 ratio. i’d say aim for skinnier if you can, so that you don’t take up too much space (especially if you’re planning to add headers to your masterlist). also crop out any faces, any clutter, any unnecessary details, so you have a nice, clean slate to work on when adding text. 

contrast/sharpen/clarity/white balance/etc.: i’m not gonna give you a lesson on photography, but i’ll tell you I learned like 80% of everything that i know just by fiddling with it on VSCO! So just try it out and play with the app, see what you can make of it. i’d say a rule of thumb to follow is that you want happier fics with a brighter tone, and moodier/angsty fics with a darker tone so that it can reflect the nature of the fic further, without saying anything! 

if you wanna be extra af like me, then go a step further and photoshop your pics. this one is a good example; when i screenshotted this scene from another youtube video for my fic One Year My Love part 2, i was specifically looking for a scene that would showcase the ornate/regal details of their clothing/environment in contrast to part 1′s modest clothing/scene (the first header in this post). 

i found this scene, but actually, this scene portrays the Crown Prince and the Princess, not y/n. So, the actors weren’t smiling at all! They were actually frowning at eachother in this scene, to portray the tension between the two characters and their marriage. 

So, I took the extra step, adjusting the pic with VSCO so that their shoulders/chins were at the same level, cropped off their faces up until their lips, and then used the adobe photoshop free app to photoshop their lips to be SMILING at eachother!!!! subtle, but important! 

call me crazy for taking that much time but i’m so proud of how it turned out and i loved every second of making this one. that way, this scene makes it portray the happy ending for Jungkook and y/n! 

adding text to your header

you can use any app out there, but i really like Font Candy! I actually ended up buying the 2$ version of this and never regretted it, but you can actually find a lot of their basic fonts on the free version; I tend to use the fonts: OSTRICH SANS, BEBAS, TREND, and INTRO the most! these are pretty clean-looking, block letters that look good whenever i put them as my titles. 

I love this app too cause you can easily control the spacing between letters to make them take up more space, add shadows, or even make them contrast their background using the overlay feature; like this one i made for wildest dreams (see how the text changes depending on what part of the photo its on? amazing! it’s literally with a click of a button!!)

And i’ll always add “written by HAYJEON” or “by HAYEJON”, space it out, and add it somewhere underneath as my own branding.

orrrrrr 

if you want to be more creative, you can even go a step further and use whatever you have on hand to enhance whatever you’re trying to portray. 

for this one, i ended up finding this amazing photo on unsplash and i thought it would do a create job of portraying the “movie-set” quality of what wildest dreams is going to be about. this stock photo had someone else’s names on it, so i used my ipad, and used instagram to just erase the existing writing with the color of the background, and then wrote in my own title and url with my own handwriting/apple pen!!! 

i thought this was pretty cool because it’s like wildest dreams is its own movie/has its own movie set, which, once it’s out, you guys will see that it’s supposed to be! 

saving/uploading

this is pretty easy/obvious, but i figured i’d mention it. all the apps i mentioned are available on the appstore, and they will save directly to your photos. after doing that, i’ll just upload them into a special folder i have on my google drive so that when i’m finished writing a fic on tumblr using my laptop, i can easily download the photos without sacrificing quality. easy! 

and that way, i can save them forever; even if i have to delete them from my computer, i can always redownload them! 

side note: making text separators

i just recently started doing this, but ever since tumblr took down their text separators, i’ve just been cropping the bottom like 5-10 pixels of the header to use as my text separators! (with my laptop)

i saw some other writer doing it and thought that it looked better than what i had used previously (a cropped photo of a random line i found on google); i found that doing this tied my fics together a little better and just looked better aesthetically; 

so there it is! hope you enjoyed! :) i would love to see what other tips you guys have been using, feel free to send me an ask or reply to this post; and if you end up using any of my tips, please let me know! I love to hear from you guys all the time <3 

lots of love, especially during these times, 

hay <3 

[modernsocialmediaau]

a dropped penny said this feels so liberating

February 27, 2015

Camila's POV

First day of the Reflection Tour. Holy Shit. I'm going on tour! I've never imagined in my life that this could happen. I just thought I'd still be stuck in my room performing and never coming out but,  now I'm here. I've got 4 amazing best friends, an amazing boyfriend and an awesome job what could possibly go wrong?

" Girl you ready? " Dinah asks while I fixed my hair, I felt weird having it parted on the left or right, seeing that it's usually in the middle. While fixing my hair I could hear Dinah repeatedly taping her foot outside the door and I couldn't help but laugh.

" In a second, this doesn't just happened you know, " I joke, walking out of the dressing room following her to the meet and greet.

Our meet and greet. Ours.

" Girl whatchu talkin about we got a whole team dedicated to help us with all......this. " she said making a circle around her face, and lightly tapping her chin indicating the perfection that was her hair and face.

" Hush up. " I giggled linking our forearms together trying to catch up to the other girls.

You'd think by now I'd get use to the idea of screaming fans and adoring gifts but I still get so emotional. I mean I was in their shoes for who knows how long, screaming for strangers. Having fan accounts, writing/reading fan fictions and even making videos for my OTP which meant Harry and I (embarrassing). Mami use to think it was weird to love some stranger that I barely knew, but it's kinda hard to explain.

" CAMILA! CAMILA! CAMILA! " some girls shouted and I smiled at them and waved.

We first started with a couple of acoustic performances, a few questions and then onto meet and greets. Our first fan was a girl named Emily who greeted us in tears. She came to into my arms for a hug and I couldn't have been happier to squeeze her with love.

" O-my hands are shaking. " Emily said as she laughs hysterically not fully grasping the situation unfolding in front of her.

" It's alright we'll shake along with you, " I joked and started shaking while the other girls followed

" I love you so much, " she cried into our arms as we gave her one of our warmest group hugs

" Oh we love you, " we surprisingly responded in unison.

" So what would like us to do babes? " Lauren asked smilingly wrapping her arm around Emily, making her almost faint. You could tell she was weak in the knees. Lauren always had that affect on people, I would know.

" Can we pretend to make it rain? " she laughs at herself,

" With what tho? " Dinah asked

" Oh-uhm-I already prepared this. " she takes out fake money and shreds of green paper, " Ay! " we all cheered.

" Yes! Girl you are ready!! " Mani cheered as she evenly handed out the slips of paper or fake money and I prepared myself to make it rain.

" We didn't choose the thug life the thug life choose us. " I said earning weird looks from Ally, Normani, and Dinah while Lauren and Emily laughed

" Ready 1,2,3 " the photographer and onto the next fans.

About 30 minutes within the meet and greet, I decided to act cute by holding Lauren's hands and let one of my legs pop out. As soon as that shutter clicked the screams got louder, a few aw's, and they started screaming a name I recognized.

" CAMREN! CAMREN! CAMREN! " they continued to cheer After the two girls left I whispered to Lauren, " Camren? " I feel like this was a discussion topic before, but I just can't remember. She shifts uneasily away from me making me question her even more.

I looked at the others girls, Dinah gave me an I-got-no-clue, Ally gave me a sorry-I-don't-know-either, and Normani gave me nothing it's like she didn't hear me.

" Lauren? " I ask snapping her out of her thoughts

" Sorry Cam-Camila, " she stutters,

Odd. ~~~

I decided after the meet and greet I'll search up Camren. I mean I know it's a ship name but where have I heard it before? While the hairdresser fixed my hair I searched it up on my phone. They're were Tumblr tags which I obviously clicked on.

It was Lauren and I.

Oh right.

Now I remember, Camren. That same name that gave me hope, Camren. That idea of Lauren actually finally saying she loved me back, Camren. At the same time, the same lie that tore me down every single day of my life until I realized. Camren wasn't and will never be real. Thank you, Camren.

" Lauren! " I said catching her attention. The older woman looked up from her phone and gave me surprised look.

" Look, " I hand her my phone and watch as she scrolled through the tag,

" Weren't we cute? " I said trying to lightly tread over the subject. Camren hasn't exactly been the best towards me,  and it still feels like a fresh wound.

In the beginning it was hell because , well, I wanted it to be true. But the more I thought of it the more scared and untrue it became the more awkward it got.

" Super " she says boringly I guess she's not too fond of it at the moment. We use to take so much pride of owning and loving our friendship, but now....nothing. It's like there is no Camren.

" Right, no wonder they were screaming that, " I laugh at myself while she agreed, still holding something back,

" Are you okay? " I ask

" Yea. " she fakes a smile

" You're a horrible liar, Are you sure? " I turn to her making the hairdresser mad I gave her sorry and continued to pay attention to Lauren. I know I had no right talking to her as if icing her out never happened but that was the only way to get over her. The only way for me to move on, and the idea of her knowing that there was even a " her " to move on from, was unbearable.

" Yeah Camila, just tired you know, " she fakes,

" It's the first day of tour, " I say making her lightly chuckle, taking me by surprise. I haven't really heard her laugh or chuckle like that in a while.

" Well you know me, working hard or hardly working, " that was the last thing she said before she left.

I nod trying to understand that we can no longer talk to each other how we use too. What I mean by that is, joke around, playfully hit each other, pretend to flirt and-I don't even know anymore. We're just awkward now.

~~~

Lauren's POV

Couple minutes earlier...

" Lauren, " Camila called

" Look, " she hands me her phone and watch as I scrolled through our tag. I had to be careful as to how I would react to this Camren stuff.

This wasn't the first time this was brought up to us privately and publicly. And every time it was brought up she somehow dodged it faster than she can dodge a bullet but it hasn't happened in quite a while. Like a year long, so yeah a while. Back then (X-Factor first part of Harmonize America) we didn't seem to care we were just friends, but Austin came into the picture. Then one day she practically just stopped being my best friends. I mean she got close to the other girls and so did I. Ever since then we have had this awkward friendship hiatus. Or whatever she'd like to call it.

" Isn't that cute, "

Cute? That is beyond the farthest thing I thought she would have said. It's like she had amnesia for a year because she suddenly sparks an interest in our past. 1 month into her ignoring me the girls decided it was to act as if there was no Camren, Camren was not a word, nor did it ever happen. Our friendship seem to vanish in thin air.

" Super " I don't think I'm angry about it I mean it's been a year and stuff but now it's like I'm just numb. I mean we use to be inseparable and now we can't even be in a room together without making it awkward enough for one of us to leave.

" Right, no wonder they were screaming that, " she laughs at herself while I agreed carefully. That's the keyword here, well every time I should say. Anytime we have a conversation I always have to keep in mind to be CAREFUL as to how I approach each conversation, it's like walking on eggshells.

" Are you okay? " she asks

" Yea. " I fake a smile

" You're a horrible liar, Are you sure? " she turns to me making the hairdresser mad, she gave her sorry and continued to pay attention to me

" Yeah Camila, just tired you know, " I make up, and yea I don't call her Camz anymore because I'm scared. That's what it's like now, scary.

" It's the first day of tour, " she says making me naturally chuckle.

" Well you know me, working hard or hardly working, " I said jokingly and walked away from her.

After I left the room I began to panic, I walk past the dressing room and looked for Normani. I walked passed about 5 different hallways until I found her walking out of the bathroom.

" Normani! " I scream making her jump and look at me worriedly

" What? Whats wrong? " she says while we held each other's forearm dramatically

" Camila, she's-talking to me? " I mutter, I know what your thinking why should I be panicking about her talking to me. And the reason to that is last time this happened things went too far. For one thing I almost lost my mind trying to get answers as to what I did to her, making her ignore me. Secondly, I almost told her I loved her. Still love.

" Oh. " her eyes popped open and began to worry along with me. Normani's has been my rock through this whole experience she knows every single thing that has happened like a map.

•••

" Alright girls can we run it from the top for Better Together? Make sure your are in sync and one with each other. " Sean snapped at us trying to bring us back. We're currently in the middle of rehearsing and putting together our opening act for Demi's Neon Lights Tour. Not only that, 2 weeks from now the tour starts and so does finishing our first official album, so everything is pretty hectic.

" Lauren? " Normani clapped getting my attention, I guess I was the only one left seeing that the rest of the girls were in their position. I released a small huff and weak smile before running to my spot. I watch Normani give me a questioning smile, and I just shook it off and got my head in the choreo.

After rehearsals the girls and I were cleaning up our stuff, seeing that I didn't usually make a mess of things I finished rather quickly so I decided to talk to Camila.

" Hey Camz, " I lightly tap her shoulder, she quickly shuttered away. Ouch.

" Hi Lauren, " she says coldly, I shook it off and just continued to smile.

" The Notebook and Chill tonight? " I joke hoping she'd finally crack a smile at me.

" I-uhhm-I can't--because I've-Uhm-I've got plans. " she struggled to finished.

" Oh, alright. " I sighed almost reaching towards her for a hug goodbye.

" Yeah, maybe next time? " she let out a fake smile before walking away from our short and meaningless conversation. " Sure. " I whisper. I felt the formation of tears come but I couldn't let them out yet, not here not now. I let out a sniffle and quickly gathered the tears on my index finger letting them go, that's when a felt a familiar gesture of comfort. Which was Normani wrapping her shoulder around me and asking;

" Can you tell me now? I've watched the same thing unfold over 100 times in 3 months, maybe it's good to finally talk about it? "

Seeing the tour started her in LA we decided to stay until we left for the tour. The girls and I stayed at our usual hotel with our usual sleeping arrangements but I wish I was rooming with Camila.

After the release of our EP and promo tour she's been so cold, it's like after we got signed we hung out less and less. And even if we did it wasn't for more than 5 hours, I get it she's got other friends and stuff but why the sudden cold shoulder.

And at the mention of our ship name Carmen it's like she's disgusted, which doesn't make sense because we created Camren.

" What's going on Lo? " Mani wondered as we entered our hotel room. I placed my bag down on the floor, and plopped down my bed faced down. I let out a groan before I felt the tears fell and the song of sobs began.

" Lauren? " she questions lifting my shoulder and turning me over, " Okay you're worrying me, please tell me what's wrong? " she then say me up and pulled me into a really really tight hug.

" Lauren please tell me what's wrong? I gave you space and waited for an explanation for but now I could careless. This isn't you, for the past 3 months I've watched you approach Camila then come back here and mope. Please tell me what's happening. " she practically begged making me cry even more.

" I'll grab you some tissues and water and I'll be right back okay, " she stood up from my bed and walked away to grab what she said she would while I grabbed the pillow behind me. I brought the pillow to my chest and watched Mani come walking back to me with the items.

I used a couple of tissues to clear my nose and drank some water to wet my super dry throat.

" Lauren? " she asked once more. " Camila hates me. " I state making her scoff not believing me, but seeing that I started to cry again she knew I was serious.

" Where'd you get that idea? " she rubbed my shoulder and brought my head on her shoulder.

" She won't talk to me, she won't even acknowledge my presence. " I cried into her shoulder,  " Shh...shh...that's a bit ridiculously isn't it? I mean you and Mila are like best friends. " she explained trying to convince other wise.

" Are we? "

•••

" Okay what about? I think we've established your love for her, " she jokes trying to lighten the mood

" Camren. She knows! Mani she knows! SHE'S FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT! " I say almost breaking into tears shocking her. Her eyes widen and gave me a quick hug before saying

" Hey, hey, hey listen to me let's go on the bus okay, " she drags me out as tears began to pour

We left the venue and found our way to the bus, thankfully there was no one there. We walked to the back of the bus since we know that's where we would get more privacy there.

" Tell me what happened? " she asks sitting across from me

" Didn't you hear her question earlier? " I ask hugging my knees to my chest

" Yes, but I tried to act like I didn't hear it, and it hasn't really come up in months specially from her side. So it was weird," she answered

"Yea but now I'm getting flashbacks about those horrible months with her giving me such a cold shoulder. And now it's even worse because it's like she's trying to play some fucked up game. Where she'd gained my trust again, figure out what I'm hiding, then ice me out again because of said secret. "  

" Wait! So she doesn't actually know? " she interrupts me

" Well-no, " I answer, she sighs loudly

" Listen to me honey, maybe she finally realized that what she did was wrong and she's just trying to rekindle your friendship okay. Just don't act suspicious during the subject, " She advised

" But that's what I'm worried about, what if she questions me about it. " I began to sob again. She stood up and walked to my side

" Don't give her a reason to read into it. Okay, don't give them a reason to think my that you know somethin-"

" But I do. " I interrupt

" Yes and only you and I know about that. " she smiles comforting me

" What if she finds out, I can't take another ice cold Camila. I like how everything is and I've accepted it. " I say while she sat there sarcastically laughing, I looked at her not getting what was so funny about what I said.

" Are you serious? " she stood back up

" What? "

" You like how everything is? Are you serious? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY ACCEPT SOMETHING UNNECESSARY! Listen to me you don't deserve this okay, she should have given you an explanation. I seriously thought that during that last month of Neons Lights Tour everything would be back normal again. I didn't think it could get any worse, never did I ever imagine that she could do it again. Not only that as soon as you almost confessed you love she wave around the idea of her and Austin. It's as if burning you twice wasn't enough for her. I love Mila as much as the next girl but that's not how she should've handle the situation. " she paced while I disappointingly agreed

" I didn't think it would be this bad Mani, I really didn't. It's just a crush. " I sobbed

" I know, I know. But you still need to know the truth.This is how Camren should've been handled, not ignored." she caresses my hair comforting me

" Well I can't tell her! You saw how she acted, about this Mani! " I defended myself

" Alright I see your point? But it's just a crush and your not a lesbian " she says

" Who isn't a lesbian? "Camila walked into the back scaring Mani and I

" Uh, Rebel Wilson " Mani quickly answered

" Oh that's a bummer, " she smiles

" Hey are you okay? " she asked and Mani looked at me with a act-normal look before she left

" Yea just really nervous, " I say caressing my hands

" Why? You've performed so many times before? " she laughs and sits down next to me

I shift a little more to my left to have some space between us, but that only made her come closer.

Come on Lauren! Act normal!

" Well it's our first official tour where it's just us, you know, " I say looking at her

Her eyes their so simple and cute I could stare at them all day. Some might say that brown is plain and boring but not hers it's like every time I look in them I can see all the amazing things she can do. My mom always said if you ever fall in love with somebody don't fall for their looks but fall for their eyes because the eyes are the only that lasts forever. They are so mesmerizing, and her hair her perfectly curly light colored hair falling on her shoulder we're just killers. If looks could kill, I would be dead.

" Lo? " she surprisingly says, haven't heard that in a while " Yea? " I weakly smiled

" I said, it won't matter what happened we're all in this together. " she smiles holding my hand.

" Right, well I have to get my make-up done again, so I'll see you later. " I got up from the couch and left the bus

When I step foot onto the pavement someone grabbed my arm and pulled me to the front of the bus.

" Mani what the hell? " I say

" What happened? " she asks eagerly

" Nothing, now seriously I have to get my make up done again. " I plainly answered

She nods her head and we made our way back to our dressing room. This is going to be one long and interesting tour.

A/N Guys I hoped you liked the first chapter please lemme know ;)

Here are some helpful tips for the future: (•••): Flashback (---): Next Scene (*Words*): Phone Call

[zoeytheweeb]

UPDATE: Please read (don’t worry it’s nothing bad I promise)

Okay I know I haven’t really posted anything, and yes I have been lurking on Tumblr for the last few weeks (maybe a month now? idk) but that was mostly to read salt fics and look at memes. Anyways, on to the important stuff. And by important, I mean this is just an update on what I’ve been doing and why there hasn’t been any new chapters which I’m so so so sorry for not uploading anything. BEWARE, this is a pretty long post (at least for me, it’s probably fine for everyone else lol)

First off, THANK YOU SO MUCH like holy shit I just noticed I had 200 followers and like oh my god that’s literally the most amount of followers I have ever gotten so tytytyty!

Secondly, I haven’t abandoned #notmychatnoir, more like I’ve been struggling to write chapter 4 the way I want to write it because suddenly everything I wrote in it so far has made me unhappy and I also realized that while I mentioned it, I never really showed the citizens and press (other than the miracuclass of course) being salty of Chat Noir themselves so I’ve been rearranging things and removing a few other things to save for either chapter 5 or 6. The only problem is I also want to make chapter 4 longer, even if only slightly, than the other chapters simply as an apology for taking so long to get it out.

I’ve also been debating with myself over the outline I came up with for the story, which is why I’m asking everyone now: What would you like to see in #notmychatnoir? I still plan on having Felinette fluff, and I will not be doing an Adrien redemption in this fic seeing as the whole point of this was to be super salty towards him, but if anyone has any ideas of what they wanna see then I promise that I will at least consider it. I make no promises of your ideas being added, but they will definitely be helpful.

As for K12, I had a complete outline of what I wanna do for each story, but I’ve been thinking about changing some of the stories before writing them. Most of the chapters I’ve already planned out for each song will still happen the way I want them to happen, but that’ll depend on what my hands decide to type lol. Also, I must remind everyone that most of the chapters are unconnected one-shots, with only a few of them being connected into their own stories. However, depending on how each one-shot ends, I might make a follow-up or aftermath of what happens. Keyword being might though, there’s no guarantee that I’ll actually do it if I can’t find the inspiration or if nobody has any specific requests for said aftermaths.

I would also like to know if anyone has any requests for K12. Specifically, any scenarios they would like to see play out? They have to fit with the song though (Class Fight, Detention, any K12 song I haven’t written and posted yet, which is literally everything but Wheels on the Bus as of right now lol). I also want to know if there are any pairings you would like to see, or any specific character being there for Marinette during whichever scenario either you, the readers or I, the writer, decide on. For example, the friend that gave me the idea for K12 in the first place wanted the Highschool Sweethearts chapter to have Marichat, IIRC.

You can reply in the comments or reblogs but it will be a lot easier for me, now that my notifications tend to blow up every now and then, if you simply sent an ask or a DM/PM regarding any requests you may have for #notmychatnoir, K12, or even if you want me to write a one-shot or drabble based on any scenario you may have in mind. For that last one though, I can’t promise I’ll be able to do all of your requests, much less perfectly and on time (because I’m still a teenager dealing with high school and family and procrastination in general), but I do promise that I will at least try.

Lastly, I don’t know if I mentioned it (I feel like I did) but if I didn’t then I planned on writing a somewhat salty, and bittersweet, one-shot based on Melanie Martinez’s song Pity Party. It’s gonna be Lukanette, and it was supposed to be out on my birthday but I didn’t finish in time nor did I finish in time for the other deadline I gave myself. However, I still planned on releasing that particular one-shot this year so I have been working on that for the last few weeks and I’d like to think it’s almost done. I’m not going to say you should get your hopes up, but, I do plan on finishing it before New Year’s eve. I will try to finish it tonight, in time for Christmas eve or Christmas itself, but I’ve learned that I shouldn’t try to give myself any specific deadlines so I make no promises but at least I’m trying to finish it. So, look forward to that! Or don’t, if Lukanette’s not your cup of tea, then that’s fine.

That was all for my fanfic-related updates. If you would like to read my short life update, then keep reading. If you don’t then that’s all for this post.

Life update: I’ve been officially on winter break since last Thursday (the 19th), and boy is the small freedom amazing lmao. This semester wasn’t exactly my best (specifically my geometry grades and just procrastination in general) but I at least managed to get an A in French and passed all of my final exams except for my Geometry final (although that didn’t surprise me because I was lucky enough to even get a D in that class as my overall grade for the semester).

So now that I don’t have to worry about school until the break is over, which won’t be until January 9th I think, either that or the 8th, I have slightly more free time on my hands that I’ve been spending just catching up on anime, sleep, and fanfics that I’ve been reading (and writing, of course). I’ve also spent most of my money on Persona 5 and Blazblue: Cross Tag Battle so I’ve been spending time playing both of those games as well. Spoiler alert: both of those games are amazing and I’m totally gonna buy that Neopolitan DLC eventually because she’s amazing and her Astral Finish is badass.

Also, even though I’ve been told that I shouldn’t try to grow up so fast, I’ve been thinking about getting a part-time job (because I can’t rely on monthly allowance and asking my mom for a loan forever, especially if I can’t even pay back that loan in time) and I also wanna learn how to drive so I’ve just been preparing myself for both important (to me at least) things.

Lastly (for real this time lol), one of my cousins is coming down to my city for a few days this week to celebrate his birthday which is great but also a perfect opportunity for me to spend more time with him and his brother because I feel like we’ve been growing apart and the fact that both of them are no longer single despite being the same age as me (heck, I’m the “middle child” out of the 3 of us lol) makes me feel really left out which is a big oof. So I’m looking forward to spending these next few days with them as well as finishing that one-shot I mentioned.

So yeah, life is gonna be somewhat hectic for me next year as I try to take baby steps into having a responsible life and be independent but overall it’s pretty good.

If you actually got this far into the post then thanks for reading about my life I guess lol.

[hashtag-moodboard]

moodboard tutorial

hey everyone! I got a request to make a tutorial on how I make my moodboards, so here’s a big post where I’m going to do just that :3 

(disclaimer: this is a HUGE post, so get ready.) 

So, first, I have to have an idea (duh). For purposes of this tutorial, I’m going to make a winter/snow moodboard. 

I have some ideas in my head of what kinds of images I should put in the moodboard - what kinds of themes. Here’s a quick brainstorm: snow, winter, tea, sweaters, ice, frost. (No obligation to put all these in the moodboard, but they give me an idea of what to look for.) 

I have 4 resources that I can find good photos from. 

RESOURCE #1 -- PERSONAL COLLECTION

This is my  folder of unused pictures. It’s full of pictures that I come across that would be good for a moodboard, but not one that I’m making it, so I save it for later. 

I look through this folder for stuff, and put whatever I think is good for the current moodboard in its own folder. 

(I delete the folder and whatever photos I use in the moodboard after it’s posted, so that I don’t end up with a bunch of stuff clogging my computer, and avoid repeating photos.) 

So, after going through that, I’ve found one photo for the winter moodboard. 

PROS OF THIS OPTION: You get an idea of the stuff you like, and you can save pictures you think are cool for later. 

CONS OF THIS OPTION: You have to make the collection yourself. 

RESOURCE #2: GOOGLE 

This is generally where I find *most* of my images. In Google images, I search whatever keyword I want, and then generally “aesthetic” right after it. By adding “aesthetic”, it means most of the pictures will be artsy or specifically taken to look nice, rather than selling something or a stock photo-like image. 

Search as many keywords as you want -- they don’t have to be stuff you think is necessarily related to the moodboard topic. Whatever you have a gut feeling would look good in the moodboard. 

Here are a few examples: 

After Google, I’ve gathered some more images, but not all that I need. 

[I did actually add another picture in there, from the “minimalist pin” search, but it’s not included in this screenshot]

PROS OF THIS OPTION: Nearly unlimited options, and you can search for tons of different keywords. 

CONS OF THIS OPTION: You have no control over the resolution of the image, and often it’s really hard to find a specific kind/mood of image. 

RESOURCE #3: TUMBLR

Lots of other people make moodboards on Tumblr, and they’re a pretty good image resource. I would definitely advise not to take more than one image from any already made moodboard-- if you’re making your own backup folder so you can save stuff for later then it’s probably fine, but generally don’t make it seem like you’re copying someone else’s work. 

Just search “[keyword], moodboard” and a bunch of stuff will come up. The ones that AREN’T put together by the person who made it (e.g. the ones that are nine individual images, not stitched together into one before posting) are the ones I go for, just because they’re easier and generally have better quality than if you were to screenshot from a single-image moodboard.

This is why it’s important for me to tag my moodboards, not only so people can see it, but so I can put the images I use into circulation and allow others to use them as well. 

So, after Tumblr, I have almost all the images I need. 

PROS OF THIS OPTION: Images have literally already been sorted by theme for you. 

CONS OF THIS OPTION: People will have different ideas of what looks good than you, so you can’t always find stuff you like in the theme you’re going for. 

RESOURCE #4: UNSPLASH

This is my final resource. It’s a site called Unsplash, which is where photographers post credit-free pictures that they take. It’s a great resource, but its problem is you can’t narrow it down by subject, so you have to search for one vague keyword at a time and hope you find something good. 

Ok, so after going through all four of my resources (sometimes I switch back and forth between them) I have all my images that I’ll be using. 

PUTTING THE BOARD TOGETHER

Now, you’ll notice that not only are my images not put together in an artsy, moodboard-like fashion, but they’re all different aspect ratios. So the first thing I do is crop them all into squares.

Now, I have absolutely no idea how to do this on a PC, but it’s pretty simple on Mac -- just use Preview. Make all your images squares (they don’t have to be the same size, just as long as they’re all square). 

Again, I’m using a Mac, so I don’t know how it works on a PC, but I arrange my photos into the moodboard format I want within the folder itself. On a Mac, you just right-click on the folder, select “Arrange By --> None” and you’ll be able to move the images around however. 

My personal rule of thumb is to stick to a basic template. Group pictures that have similar themes/subjects/color schemes in symmetrical places around the moodboard. This is the template I suggest: 

This template allows for you to use 5 different kinds of pictures, but you can definitely group red+blue together, or purple+orange, or whatever you want. 

Here it is, arranged within the folder: 

(Fox+bird are both animal theme; tea bag+person walking are light and minimalist; landscape+landscape have similar subjects; tea+snowflake have similar color schemes; and the building is kind of miscellaneous but still captures the general image, so it’s in the middle.) 

POSTING 

This is the easiest part! Pull up a Photo post on Tumblr and put all your photos in, arranged how it is in the folder. 

Make sure to add a caption and tags! 

That’s it! You’re done! Moodboards generally take me 10-25 minutes depending on how complicated they are -- most of it is just searching for pictures. :3

Enjoy! 

[prospails]

hey idk if this is a weird or stupid question, but how do you get ppl to notice ur art? like i think im ok but only get like 2 notes on stuff, any advice? btw ur art is amazing and beautiful

not weird or stupid at all! And thank you!!!!! I’ve been on this site going on 4 years now and I have been lucky enough to have gained a fair few followers (whom i love and adore), but there are a couple things which helped me when I first started. Making proper use of the tagging system: Tumblr will only ‘register?’ the first 5 tags, meaning only those five will appear in searches so use them to your advantage with keywords. Using keywords, usually the fandom title, pairing, character names, etc as the first 5 tags increase the chances of your art being found in searches for those things. That’s why I tag with my keywords first, any rambling or commentary afterwards.Fan art will always generate more interest than original art. Sad but true, this is the law of the internet. Not that people don’t like original art, it’s just harder to start off with original art cause not many people will be familiar with the subjects of your work. Sometimes you gotta hop on a band wagon or two to get the ball rolling before sprinkling in your own original stuff. 

Artist support blogs/ Fandom art blogs: Sometimes a fandom will have a few blogs running that are dedicated to fan arts, these types of blog often have large followings and can be great for boosting your work if they take submissions. 

Regular Posting: Posting regularly, nothing crazy mind you just as often as you feel necessary, can help as it keeps your blog rolling and people interested. Blogs that rarely post will struggle simply because it’s not engaging enough. This makes it sound like you have to produce work to a schedule or produce vast quantities of it, which is untrue, you just have to make sure to put up something new every once in a while, keep people interested. I know this one works first hand, the height of my blog was back when i was making HS fanart and was producing HUGE quantities of art (i had so much inspo back then), not everything got lots of notes, nor did I need to be making THAT MUCH ART, but people stayed because it was ACTIVE and engaging. If you’re still here from my homestuck days you’re some heroic warriors man and I love you. I’m a bit frazzled rn and i’m about to drop out to sleep city but those were some I remember working for me??????????????? If anyone wants to add to this, please feel free to. Hope this helped somewhat!!!

[three-musqueerteers]

How to search on tumblr?

Hello everyone!

Today we will learn HOW to make my life easier help you with finding answers for your questions on Three Musqueerteers tumblr!

1. Tags are your friends

When I answer/write post I always use tags. It helps with organizing the page AND looking for old posts when I need them.

Here’s short list of tags I’m using in most of the time:

ask - if you sent a question, every answer will have it

preorder - all questions connected with volumes preorders (English and Thai, depending on which one we are currently selling)

volume - posts connected with THAI volumes

English volume - posts connected with ENGLISH volumes

other translations - posts connected with releases in other languages than Thai and English

three musqueerteers - when posts is about the team

There are also tags connected with titles so Pulse, Lily Love, The Mistress Story, 15y, Snow & Sunflower, Magnet, Mentality, Bridesmaid

Obviously I’m also using tag Ratana Satis but because it’s almost in every release post, it won’t help you BUT keep reading, you will learn sth new too.

There are also other tags that I’m using. Just look at the bottom of posts.

2. Ok but HOW I can use tags?

It’s really simple:

http://three-musqueerteers.tumblr.com/tagged/[insert tag]

So for example, if you want to look for preorder posts you will write

http://three-musqueerteers.tumblr.com/tagged/preorder

Told you it’s simple :)

3.  “ Lol I will not scroll back an entire year for one question” 

And you don’t have to. 

You can use search.

NOW FOCUS!

For example you want to get info about tracking in preorders, right? So normally you would use tagged/preorder - but you would have A LOT of results. SO you will use SEARCH

http://three-musqueerteers.tumblr.com/search/tracking+preorder

Thanks to it you will see all posts with “tracking” AND “preorder” - and it’s MUCH less than all “preorders” questions

But if you didn’t find the answer for your question about tracking - NO! Don’t send message yet! TRY ONE MORE THING

http://three-musqueerteers.tumblr.com/search/tracking

The difference between first and second results is that in second link, you will have ALL POSTS with word “tracking” in them. So there will be one tagged as “preorder” and some might not = you have more posts to check for your answer

REMEMBER!!

/tagged/ - you use ONLY TAG words 

/search/ - you can use one OR two TAG words (don’t forget about + if you will use two words)

- OR one TAG word AND other word (for example “birthday” /search/lynn+birthday)

- OR one or two other words (but I couldn’t came up with idea it could be, because I usually tag most of the keywords for better searching :P)

4. So what if I want to know more about Ratana????

First, remember she’s also a human being that likes to keep her life private as much as it’s possible so try not to ask too many questions on tumblr or her FB ;)

Second, we have a lot questions to Ratana we already answered, so please read them. I mentioned before that it will be tagged as “Ratana Satis” but you will have like... all posts in this tumblr 😂

Use /search/Ratana Satis+ask

and you will get questions sent by fans that were already answered.

Please check also Q&A tag. Post from it are also connected with her.

5. OK NOW I KNOW ALL THE SECRETS BUT I STILL DIDN’T FIND THE ANSWER! WHAT NOW????

DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE FAQ??? Sometimes I think people don’t see these questions and just scroll down to ask box :/

6. I STILL DIDN’T FIND THE ANSWER ;_;

So NOW you can send the question. YOU CAN ALSO USE CHAT! 

And don’t need to write it all the time in Anons... If you will write normally and question was doubled - I can answer it privately (so you don’t need to worry if you think you will “look dumb” or something).

If you will write on Anon, I’m forced to reply it OR I WILL JUST IGNORE IT. 

So yeah, it’s better if you will write OFF the Anon cuz it’s better chance you will get the answer.

This post will be also added to FAQ and tagged as TUTORIAL so you can find it in the future.

I really hope it will help you and myself

[purlgrrrl-blog1]

@octothorpeisareason tagged me in a questions thing related to knitting/crocheting! It’s a super long post (But there’s links to patterns I like in there if that’s any incentive to scroll through!) so it’s going under a read more. :)

General

1.     How did you first learn your craft? My mom taught me. I was a terrible student.

2.     How old were you when you first learned to craft? Twelve. Like I said, such a jerk to my mom.

3.     What was the first project you completed? A scarf that had so many dropped stitches that it came apart eventually! lol

4.     What would you like to make next? I have googly eyes for The Lilli Pill shawl by Ambah O’Brien. Once I’m done with my commissions, I can purchase the yarn for it. ;) Pattern is here: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/lilli-pilli

5.     Do you use stitch markers? All the time. I like to put my work down and stretch frequently so having stitch markers helps me remember where I am.

6.     Do you watch or listen to anything while you craft? I love to watch crime procedurals! Currently watching Rizzoli & Isles. :)

7.     What aspect of your craft is the most challenging to you? Trying to stay engaged during longer projects. I want to make my blanket soon but I’m worried I’ll make half of it and then stop caring. haha.

8.     Which of your past projects are you the most proud of? My very first shawl. I was going through a horrific breakup and making it really really got me through it. Pattern is here: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/baja-sunrise-shawl

9.     How long have you been crafting? I learned 13 years ago, but I only got serious about my knitting in college. So let’s say 7 years.

10. Where do you usually buy your yarn? My local yarn shops. Or if I find indie dyers that I love on etsy, I will order. But I like being able to touch the yarn before I buy.

11. Are you a yarn snob? YES. I AM SO TERRIBLE. I do, however, have a few clients with wool sensitivities so I use acrylics/acrylic blends for them.

12. What was the last yarn you purchased? Hedgehog Fibers “Fool’s Gold” in DK weight. I didn’t purchase it for any reason. I just thought it was gorgeous and decided to find a use for it later. haha.

13. What is the last crafting related purchase you made? I just ordered a book on knitting socks two at a time! https://www.amazon.com/2-at-Time-Socks-Revealed-Knitting/dp/1580176917/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492118611&sr=8-1&keywords=2+at+a+time+socks

14. How often do you keep a project you’ve made? I try not to if I can help it! Most everything I make is for sale.

15. What is your workspace like? Currently, it’s my dining room table. My desk in the office I share with my fiance is cluttered and terrible. I need to organize it something fierce. My whole half of the room is a MESS.

16.  Where do you do most of your crafting? Again, dining room table with my laptop playing some silly crime show.

17. How would you describe your crafting style? I kind of fly by the seat of my pants. If I make a mistake, I try to turn it into a design choice (if it’s not a structural problem). My grandma always says that you shouldn’t make anything perfect because “it will make God angry.” Not sure if I believe in God, but that’s a whole nother thing. I appreciate the notion though.

18. What aspect of your craft would you most like to improve? Lace work and chart reading!!!

19. What tool or accessory would you like to acquire next? I want some really pretty stitch markers. Like maybe with lil gems or extra pretty beads or something.

20. How big is your yarn stash? Ridiculously huge. I need to take inventory.

21. How often do you knit/crochet? Every day.

22. Do you always have a project in mind when you buy yarn? Almost never. oops. But when I do, I feel very triumphant!

23. Do you find any crafting tools to be overrated? I don’t think so. But I do think brand comparison shopping is really important for needles. Some cheaper ones are just as good as the expensive ones. You just have to figure out what’s important to you when it comes to your materials.

24. When you want to learn a new stitch, how do you go about it? Find a pattern that uses the new stitch then youtube the stitch.

25. Do you have a devoted yarn bag? I have probably 4 or 5 now. But the one I’m currently using for my commissions is my fave.

26. Does anyone else in your family crochet/knit? My mom and my sister.

27. How do you store your yarn stash? One huge wicker basket, one laundry basket, and one garbage bag of yarn I bought before I knew what fibers I liked working with (mostly acrylics in there).

WIPs:

28. What are your current WIPs? Two big fluffy cowls for a client. One Clementine Cowl by Spincycle Fibers for funsies: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/clementine-11

29. Do you have any projects currently in time out? They’ve been in time out so long that I don’t actually know what they are. When I come across ones like that, I tend to rip them and start over with something new.

30. Which WIP have you been working on the longest? The Clementine Cowl. Mostly because I’ve been working on client stuff.

31. Where do you store your WIPs? In my favorite yarn bag.

32. What was the last project you had to frog? Why? It was a hat that I froggged because I got bored of it.

33. What is the most frustrating experience you’ve had with a project? It wasn’t even my project, but helping my mom start her “Find Your Fade” shawl was a nightmare. I’ve passed her in skill level and so she now thinks I know everything and can fix any mistake she makes. Also going to the yarn store with her has become a huge pet peeve. I can’t go look at anything because she just keeps going “FEEFO LOOK AT THIS!” and if I’m not close to her, she will yell my childhood nickname across the store until I come over to her.

Have you ever…?

34. Sold your work? One of my jobs!

35. Finished a full sized blanket? Never.

36. Had an interesting interaction with a stranger for crafting in public? Not really.

37. Had a household member complain about the size of your yarn stash? My dad! But he tries really hard to understands and buy my stuff for his girlfriend.

38. Been to a crocheting/knitting club or circle? I used to host one!

39. Written a pattern to share with others? In the works.

40. Purchased yarn only to decide you hated it? I think “hate” might be a strong word. But definitely bought something I loved in store and then became lukewarm about later.

41. Bought craft supplies in bulk? nope.

42. Participated in a crochet/knit along? Not yet!

43. Completed a year-long project? (Mood blanket, temperature blanket, etc) I don’t know if anything can hold my attention for a whole year. That’s crazy!

This or that?

44. Knitting, crocheting, or both? Knitting.

45. Patterns or improvise? Patterns until I feel comfortable enough with a concept to improvise.

46. Stick to one project or keep multiple going at once? Multiple. Mostly due to different lighting situations. My two client cowls are really dark so I work those during the day and then my lighter projects at night.

47. Wind new yarn or leave it as is? Leave as is right now. My ball winder broke! And hand winding is not my favorite.

48. Buy supplies online or in person? In person.

49. Make gauge swatches or hope for the best? Hope for the best unless fit is really important (re: sweaters)

Favorites:

50. Hook/needle size? I’ve been working a lot of things on 9s and 13s lately. I don’t really have a preference but I tend to do larger gauge fluffier projects in fall/winter and then small gauge light lacy projects in spring/summer.

51. Yarn you’ve worked with? That’s a tough question!! Really into everything Malabrigo right now. I love the squish and also the price point. It blocks nicely. Drapes well. I do love indie dyer Republic of Wool very much though! And Hedgehog Fibers. But like I said, price is important to me right now and I can’t price my stuff high enough to justify $26 per skein. So those are for personal projects only.

52. Stitch? Good ol’ knit stitch will always be my fave. I like playing with cabling and color before I fux with crazy stitches.

53. Yarn weight to work with? Have lots of love for DK currently.

54. Craft-related gift you’ve received? Gift cards!!

55. Type of project to crochet/knit? Shawls probably.

56. Crafting accessory? I have an enamel pin of a wool moth that says “Fuck off” from Spincycle Yarns. It’s on my small project bag. Find it here: https://spincycleyarns.com/collections/bling-miscellany/products/f-ck-off-wool-moth

57. Online supply store? Etsy! Support independent makers!!!

58. In-Person supply store? Portland has so many amazing yarn shops. Twisted, Close Knit, & Knitting Bee are my go-tos. The first two by my mom’s house and then Knitting Bee is the best one closest to my house. I interviewed to work at Starlight Knitting Society but they picked someone else and broke my heart so I’m temporarily avoiding them even though they have a lot of good stuff.

59. Yarn brand? See above.

60. Place for patterns? Ravelry

61. Hook/needle brand? HiyaHiya

Social media:

62. Do you have any social media accounts just for your craft? https://www.facebook.com/purlgrrrl/ , This tumblr, and working on Insta after FB gets fully launched.

63. Do you post WIPs on social media or just the finished products? I do lots of WIPs on my personal insta. I love seeing other people’s WIPs. They inspire me most.

64. If someone asked you to recommend other crafting blogs, which would you recommend? ahhhhh this could be a whole nother post by itself!! Not tagging those people here, but will do another post after this with my faves.

Post a photo of…?

65. Your yarn stash - It’s all covered up right now. Not super fun.

66. One of your WIPs

The Clementine Cowl and Marceline the puppy. :)

67. A finished project

(This piece is for sale)

68. Your craft space - I’m too lazy. don’t judge me.

69. Your collection of hooks/needles - Still too lazy.

70. Your first project (or earliest you have a photo of) - I don’t have any early photos on this computer!

71. Yourself!

Me, the puppers, and the fiance!

[svnkixs-blog]

TWENTY EIGHTEEN

As 2017 slowly closes its curtains, a New Year begins to get ready for its time to shine. 365 days and this roller coaster ride finally pulls its brakes and comes to a stop. This year was an eye-opening one, for sure. So much I have seen, heard, tasted, experienced, felt, embraced, tackled, and still I feel so unsatisfied. I had thought I would have everything all figured out for the upcoming year after this one, but no, how wrong I was. Waking up on the last day of 2017, I realized that there was so much that I have on my shoulders to carry into the New Year. Baggage ― fear, regrets, guilt, hatred, sorrow, pain ― that I have yet to put down, accumulated since years ago because of the fear of emptiness without them. Looking back, I think it’s time to put them down and finally give myself the pat on the back that I have well-deserved. Have I even done things worth that pat thought, I ask? Yes. I have. For just being here to type this out and come to a conclusion ― an understanding with myself ― that I can’t and would never be perfect. For just being alive. For just being able to smile from ear-to-ear. For just being positive. For just, being ME. This year, looking back, has given me lots of firsts to carry until my golden days. From 2017 I carry, stories I’ll tell my children and their children. It truly starts here, my life. The moment of truth, if I would even be strong enough to handle being away from the strongest pillars of my life ― my parents. And even the loss of a love I thought I would never experience, not now at least. Something I would never forget and I guess, even more of an eye-opening experience to what life is all about. There is more to this round globe we call Earth; home. It may revolve the Sun but our lives revolve around many things, and coming to the end of 2017, it’s about time not only me but everyone realize that we aren’t the only ones on the planet trying to live. And so, here I write, my game plan for 2018. I should have done this long ago but I guess it’s never too late to try something new, for a better New Year.

 1.       Awaken the Tiger

So many good things, so many new experiences, and what do I do when I meet them? Run. Hide. Shy away. I guess that’s why I am not satisfied with the year. I could have done so much more but I held back. I could have made new friends if only I tried harder but no, I choose to not give people a chance. The fear of rejection and failure was too much for me to handle that I just choose to not want to go through that. But then again, rejection and failure are a part of my own growth and it’s unavoidable. I go on and on about people who do not take risks in life, just choosing to stay put and miss out, but I was the one doing the same. I need to show that I am more than just all positive and smiles. I need to also show I’m a fighter; a risk taker. Throw me a punch or two, and I may or may not go down but definitely I will not back down without a fight. I’ll swing as hard and deliver my strongest blow. Feeding my fears to my Tiger. Be Courageous.

2.       Strive for the best. Double the effort

I’ve been slacking all this time. It’s now or never. I have to put in my all for Degree. I am here because of my parents’ strong prayers and blessings. I cannot disappoint them. I need to live up to my family name and be the best that I can be. I always thought being pretty is everything but it seems now brains are sexier. Saying no to procrastination and working my butt off this Degree to grab that scholarship should be top on my list this year (and until I graduate). It doesn’t matter if people around me are better, as long as I am better than the past me. Compete with yourself and you’ll get yourself a healthy competition that is equally motivating if not as challenging. There is so much I can improve and work in my education. I was already shown the ropes these past months, now it’s my turn to take the wheel and steer myself towards success. Average shall no longer be enough for me. No more ‘tidak apa’ and start your engine, Sonia. With Ganesha and Mummy and Daddy, you can.

 3.       Less is more

Lead life simple. I have learned a new term in 2017 ― minimalism/simplicity. The feeling of satisfaction and peace when I see pictures on Tumblr with these tags are the feelings I want to carry throughout my living days. I am not the neatest but that sure will be an improvement this time round. Not just in terms of decoration but also lifestyle in general. Living to the fullest with less should be the way to go. I must not think that I need every single item I find pretty and cool to be able to feel that I’m happy. It would be a good start to getting my shopping demon in control. Don’t go crazy just because the word SALE is everywhere in the malls. I don’t need unnecessary pieces of clothes because I already have more than enough. Focus on what is more important and learn how to save. Money should not be spent like water. Perhaps, I can also work on my style and pick up a more aesthetic look with minimal colors and pieces. A single color scheme would do. Back to Basics. Buy only if I am going to wear it more than once. Don’t hoard either. Learn to let go, whether it be books or clothes. They can’t forever stay in the closet or shelf just because they look pretty and you don’t want to give them away. Even meals should be considered. I may be small and in need of gaining weight, but that does not mean fast food every weekend and going out to town just for a single meal. Just eat what you have and always finish meals. Some people can’t afford a single meal.

 4.       Positive vibes only 

I am known to be very positive. But know that there are times you can feel blue. Not every day is a good day. So this time I need to remind myself that if you need to cry, then cry. Need to be angry, project it well and get rid of it. But never even lose that positive spirit, because it is a charm. Always see things in its positive light and hope for nothing but the best. This world is gloomy and cruel and dark enough. Hopefully, in this New Year, I can inspire and motivate. Use my charms and good qualities to greater use. Lend out a helping hand and give my shoulder for people who need them. Jonghyun was enough. I may have not been there to cheer him on and definitely not save him from what has happened but perhaps, I could be someone’s saviour. Nothing much, all I need to learn is understanding. Stop judging people too much too if you don’t wish people to do the same. Always see that there’s more than meets the eye. Not everyone is going to be all happy and bright around me but that should not be an obstacle. Just try. 

5.       Live! Fight! Earn! Conquer!

Passion. This should be my keyword of 2018. In everything I do. Love, studies, hobbies, friendships. Live passionately and see how much life can improve. There are going to be days when you’re just done and all you want to do is sleep forever. Find something ― any form of motivation ― to keep fighting on. To live for. If not for yourself, for someone worth-while. Depression and stress should be handled well. Never give up because know that there are people who will be hurting if you try doing anything reckless. Faith is the most important during times like this. Never expect things in return either. Just do what makes me happy and live to my heart’s content. Don’t think people’s affection is everything. Most important is respect. As a woman, that should be top of the list. With all the issues surrounding women these days, it should be as clear as day that respect is the way to go now. Therefore, fight and earn respect from people around you. Make people remember my presence. Boys will always be boys, so work on yourself first before trying to impress someone. I have a long way to go, that’s the whole point. I have all my life to find a man. But before that, be a man to yourself. Fight my own battles and lick my own battle wounds. Man up! Make first moves and live without regrets. Just LIVE.

With that being said, may 2018 be a great year and welcome all the goodness into your lives. Embrace the moments and cherish them. Do what makes you smile and try new things. Make memories and create stories. Live to the fullest. You’ll be fine. I mean, how bad can it be right? Happy New Year!