#so i hope he got the help he needed and that hes also trying to live rather than survive

[em1i2a3]

I Want You (Fever)

Pairing: Bob/Robert Reynolds/The Sentry/The Void x Avengers!Fem!Reader

Summary: Grocery shopping turns into one of the most nerve wrecking nights that Bob has had in a long time (This is a continuation of “Plainclothes Man”)

Warnings: No Warnings only like…Semi-Spoilers for Thunderbolts because Bob? lol, this is just pure fluff with a hint of jealousy mixed in

Author's Note: Ask and you shall receive! I had this in my drafts this weekend and needed to do a little bit of fine tuning before I posted (I ended up throwing out the original idea and reworked it!). Hope y’all enjoy :) (ALSO WHAT A HIGH QUALITY GIF GOOD LORD)

Word Count: 4,465

Bob couldn’t take his eyes off you.

He’d been trying for the last twenty minutes, gripping the cart like it might keep him tethered to reality, but every aisle felt like a trap laid by fate itself. Every glance at you was a temptation, and every time he failed to resist it, it got worse.

It wasn’t just the sweatpants anymore–though God help him, those were doing their own slow damage. It was the way you moved in them. The lazy sway of fabric, the way the drawstrings danced against your thighs when you walked, the casual tug you gave them to keep the waistband in place. Like you’d forgotten they weren’t yours, even though that was far from the case.

But more than that, it was you in general. It was the quiet laugh you gave when he made a bad joke in the cereal aisle. The way you picked up the most ridiculous snack and turned to him with a grin, asking, “Okay, but what kind of monster thought making sour patch flavoured Oreos was a good idea?” just to keep him talking. The way you read your grocery list out loud like you needed him to hear it–like he was part of the journey. Like you wanted him woven into the moment.

You had no idea what you were doing to him, and that might’ve been the part that killed him the most, because you weren’t trying. You weren’t teasing him, you were just being yourself–open, warm, familiar in the kind of way that made his chest ache and his stomach twist into knots. You could’ve led him off the side of a mountain for all he cared and once he hit the ground he would’ve said “Thank you, now help me up so I can do it again.” You had so much power even though you weren’t aware of it.

”There’s your chips!” You said suddenly, and just like that, Bob’s brain and eyes were back to focusing directly on you.

You were a few steps ahead of him, half-turned toward the shelf with your hand already reaching up. There was such mundaneness to it, the way your fingers flexed slightly as you overextended your arm like you had done this a hundred times–which technically you had, though Bob just wasn’t around to see it. The oversized shirt lifted enough with the extension and his eyes–against his better judgement–flicked down.

And then he saw it, not just your skin, not just the soft slope of your waist. He saw the scar. He could see the faint, silvered edge of it–just a little shimmer near your lower back, peeking out where your shirt had roadie up and the waistband of his sweatpants dipped with movement. It wasn’t much, but it was just enough to remind him of it.

You’d told him about it once offhandedly, like it didn’t mean much to you anymore–but your voice had caught halfway through the story. A mission gone sideways. A blade you didn’t see coming. You had offered to show it to him, but he said no in the most polite and sheepish way he could manage.

Not because he didn’t want to see it, but because he didn’t trust himself not to reach for you. Not in a way that would’ve crossed a line–but in a way that would’ve revealed too much. That he cared too much. That seeing something that had hurt you, marked you, and almost taken you might undo him completely.

He remembered the way your lips had twitched–half-amused and touched–when he mumbled something like “I believe you. You don’t have to prove anything to me…” And you let it go.

But now, standing behind you in the aisle lit by flickering fluorescents, with your shirt riding up and the edge of the scar showing and glistening like a silver thread stitched into your soft skin, he felt like his soul was going to leave his body.

Because it wasn’t just a scar. It was proof that you trusted him enough to offer to show him it. Proof that he knew you–in ways not everyone did. And yet…Not in the way he wanted to.

And he wondered what it would feel like to press his palm there. Not to possess, nor to claim, but just to be close to you.

When your arm finally dropped, and the shirt settled back, you put the chips into the cart as if nothing happened.

”Extra crunchy plain kettle chips…I never thought these would be so popular.” You said jokingly. He opened his mouth–but he didn’t even know what he was going to say back. Maybe it was going to be something stupid, or maybe he was just going to confess right then and there, something along the lines of “You have absolutely no idea how much I want to touch you, not just because of how perfect you look to me, but because of everything that’s made you who you are.”

But the words never even formed in his throat.

”Y/N?” Your name rang out behind you, clear and surprised and full of recognition. It was a gravelly and deep voice, a man's voice. Bob could feel his stomach fall through him.

You turned first, and your smile lit up like a struck match.

”Oh my god! Connor?” The excitement in your voice almost killed him, and immediately he could feel himself grow hot with the idea of what he was about to witness.

He watched as the man appeared from the far end of the aisle–tall, sharp-edged with a little scar over his eye, clean-shaven and still somehow scruffy in that confident, ex-special ops kind of way.

Connor was already walking toward you with the familiarity of someone who used to share early morning missions and late-night runs with you. His voice was warm, loud, and confident, he was unmistakably sure of himself.

”I thought that was you!” Connor grinned, coming to a stop just in front of you, “I almost didn’t recognize you without the tactical vest and blood on your face.” You gave him a short laugh and glanced down at yourself.

”I clean up well enough, right?” You motioned to the clothes that you were wearing.

”More than well enough,” Connor replied, tone light but lingering, his eyes sweeping over you quickly before adding, “I always said you were the best-looking one in the unit.” You rolled your eyes, but the smile you gave him was real–warmed by shared history, by something friendly and effortless. Bob felt himself wanting to interject, but all he could do was stand there, and watch, like he was just part of the scenery now.

”You only said that because you didn’t want me breaking your nose during drills.” Connor smirked.

”Hey, you were always close to doing it though, you always had that elbow twitch. I remember.” And you laughed again–open, easy, head tilted back just enough that Bob saw the line of your throat, saw the way you leaned in just a little when you nudged Connor’s arm.

You weren’t really flirting, it wasn’t anything heavy and meaningful, it was like two friends catching up on lost time. But Bob felt it like a shard of glass under his ribs. He didn’t know what hurt more though–the way you smiled at Connor, or the way that Connor had so many experiences with you, and so many stories. Bob only had a few months, a few soft mornings, and one mission where he was the person they were up against. It was hard to imagine that you and him could ever be that close, and all he could feel was his heart sinking lower and lower.

Connor slung his hands into his pockets, “So, what’ve you been up to? I figured you were halfway across the world still setting fire to buildings and pissing off diplomates.” You shook your head, brushing your knuckles across your forehead.

”Took a break from international chaos. I’m with The New Avengers now. It’s a stateside thing, mostly.” Connor raised a brow.

”The New Avengers, huh? Never figured you to be the reformation type.” He commented, continuing to look at you.

”Yeah well…” You shrugged, “Figured I’d try being a little less feral, for now at least.” He laughed at that, then glanced over your shoulder for the first time since the conversation started–like he just remembered you weren’t alone.

”And who’s this?” He motioned with his chin, “Your backup?” You turned slightly to Bob, tilting your head with a small smile, waving him over like you were finally letting him in on a secret. The look in your eyes was unreadable as he approached slowly, and it made him nervous.

“This is Bob. Bob Reynolds.” You said. There were no titles, no explanations, no qualifiers, just his name–spoken like it was enough. Bob offered his hand to Connor automatically, even though his mind was already spiraling from the lack of any defining words.

The handshake was firm, yet casual.

“Bob Reynolds,” Connor repeated with a smirk, giving him a once-over, before glancing over at you, “Didn’t peg you to be someone who dates within the team.” Bob froze. The words landed like a live wire straight to his chest. His vision didn’t blur–but it tunneled. Everything around him narrowed, and went strangely quiet, like the store had vacuumed the sound right out of the air.

And then–you smiled. Not with embarrassment, or hesitation, but with this soft, relaxed kind of warmth–like the mixup didn’t bother you at all. You didn’t correct him either. You didn’t say no, that’s not what we are. You didn’t say we’re just teammates. You said nothing at all, and neither did Bob.

Because in that moment, something inside him had short-circuited, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Something about your silence felt good to him. Terrifying, yes. But…Good. Dangerous, and hopeful as well. Like maybe–just maybe– you liked the idea that people thought he was yours.

Connor chuckled, and nudged your shoulder, “Didn’t think you’d go for the soft ones, but I get it. Balances you out.” He commented, which made Bob turn a bit red in embarrassment and you shrugged.

”He grows on you.” Bob nearly forgot how to stand upright, because you weren’t joking. There was affection under those words, and just by hearing you say them, it was like his blood had turned electric beneath his skin. Like every inch had been tuned too tight, and he was about to snap in half from the tension. From the possibility.

Connor clapped him lightly on the arm, “Well, hey–good luck surviving her. She’s the reason I still have shoulder pain in cold weather.”

“I’m very proud of that,” You replied breezily, already reaching for another snack on the shelf like your words, or lack thereof, just hadn’t rearranged his. Connor gave you a small wink and started to walk off.

”Always good seeing you Y/N, you two have fun playing house.” And then he was gone, just like that. Bob stayed frozen where he stood, realizing he said absolutely nothing during the conversation. You turned back to him with a small smile, tossing a bag of popcorn into the cart.

”We still need to go to the dessert section for Walker's cinnamon rolls.” You said, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

——————-

Once you were done shopping, Bob loaded the trunk with all the bags and returned the shopping cart to the store, sliding into the passenger seat in complete silence.

The engine hummed low beneath the weight of all that was unspoken, and the grocery bags rustled faintly as you rolled down the window to let some air into the stuffy car. You pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, glancing once in Bob’s direction.

He hadn’t said a word since Connor left, and he looked absolutely dazed.

His hands were folded in his lap, not clenched–but fidgeting. His fingers were tangled loosely together, thumbs moving over one another in slow rhythmic circles. It was the kind of motion that only meant one thing when it came from Bob: he was nervous, really nervous. Tied-up-in-knots and about to implode kind of nervous.

You flicked your turn signal and merged into the next lane.

”Are you okay?” You asked gently. Bob didn’t answer right away, his eyes just stayed locked on the road ahead, but he wasn’t really seeing it–you could tell. His mind was miles away. Still stuck in aisle seven, maybe.

You hit a stoplight.

The soft red glow filtered into the car through the windshield, casting a faint warmth across your features. It slid like watercolor across your cheekbones, deepened the shadows around your mouth, and softened the bridge of your nose. It made you look celestial, like something that was too alive to exist in a place as mundane as this.

Bob turned his head to look at you–and once he did, he couldn’t look away.

The red glow painted you like a portrait Bob didn’t think he deserved to see. Something about it made everything more unreal. More dangerous. He didn’t even realize how long he’d been staring–until you caught him doing it.

You blinked and tilted your head, eyes narrowing with something like concern.

”Bob,” You said softly, “What’s going on?” His mouth parted, but nothing came out.

And then the light turned green.

You let the car roll forward slowly, but then you took the next turn–off the main road, down a quiet street lined with trees that filtered the dying daylight like gold dust. You pulled the car over, your tires crunching softly against gravel. And then you put it in park and killed the engine.

The silence fell like a held breath, as a gust of wind blew the cool spring air into the car. It smelled like moss, with a hint of dew, like it was going to rain, even though the sky was showing to be clear.

You unbuckled your seatbelt and turned toward him, shifting so you could see him fully. His profile was tight–tense in a way you rarely saw. He was breathing, but too shallow. His jaw worked like he was chewing on glass.

“Okay,” You said, voice calm but firm. “You haven’t said more than three words since we saw Connor. You’re fidgeting so much your thumbs are gonna rub raw. And you keep looking at me like you’ve got something to say…”Bob blinked, once and swallowed the lump in his throat, as a sheen of sweat began to form on the back of his neck.

Still nothing.

“So,” You continued, leaning a little closer to him, your tone gentler now. “Tell me. What happened?” Bob’s mouth opened like he was about to finally speak—but the words caught somewhere in his throat and came out as a half-breath instead.

You watched him closely, waiting.

“I… n-nothing happened,” he stammered, eyes flicking toward the windshield like it might offer him an escape. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I mean it’s not—it’s not not fine—but it’s not, like… bad. It’s just…”

He trailed off, his voice shrinking with every word until it was barely audible.

You didn’t say anything at first. You just looked at him. Really looked.

Then you slowly shifted closer.

Your thigh brushed his. Barely. Just enough that the contact registered like a spark. And when you leaned in, the warmth of you carried with it the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg–the smell of fall during spring, and Bob’s lungs forgot how to behave.

“Is it me?” you asked softly.

His eyes shot to you like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

“I—no,” he blurted, too fast, too flustered. “No! I mean. Not like—It’s not bad. It’s just, um…”

He trailed off again. His shoulders sank.

You tilted your head. “Bob.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose.

“…I don’t know how to be around you right now.”

That made you pause. Your gaze softened, but you didn’t pull back. If anything, you inched even closer–your arm brushing his this time.

“Why?” you asked. Your voice wasn’t teasing. Just curious. Barely above a whisper.

He opened his eyes and looked at you again–and this time, there was no hiding in the silence.

“Because Connor thought we were together,” he said, breathless. “And you didn’t c-correct him at–at all. And I’ve been trying not to hope for too much. Trying no–not to want that so much. But the second he said it, and you didn’t say anything–I haven’t been able to think straight since.”

You stared at him for a second, the air between you charged like a live wire.

And then…

“Did you ever think,” You said slowly, “That maybe I didn’t want to correct him because I liked what I heard?”

That made him blink–hard. His breath hitched audibly.

His mouth parted, but no words came. His hand–still folded in his lap–tightened slightly, like he was holding onto something that might float away.

You watched his lips part and close again, watched his chest rise and fall with uneven breaths, and you could feel the space between you contracting, the tension building like something was about to snap.

“Bob,” You said, softer now, “Am I the one that’s making you nervous?”

He nodded–tiny. Almost imperceptible. Then managed a whisper:

“A-Always.”

There was a beat of stillness.

Then you reached up, slow and steady, and brushed your fingers along the edge of his jaw. He flinched–not from discomfort, but from shock, closing his eyes at the sensation of your touch tracing along his stubble. Like he didn’t know how to receive that kind of closeness. Like he hadn’t dared imagine it outside of his dreams.

Your voice stayed low. Intimate.

“You don’t have to be nervous with me,” You said. “Not if you want the same thing I do.”

He could feel his heart seizing in his chest, his mouth going dry, lips parting again. “A-And what do you w-want?”

You smiled–just barely, just enough for him to see the truth in it. Something quiet and unguarded. Something only for him.

Then you leaned in.

And he felt it first in the air—how your breath brushed across his lips before your mouth ever touched his. Soft and warm, like the stir of wind before a storm. It made every muscle in his body go tight with anticipation. The space between you was shrinking by the second, his senses narrowing to the way you looked at him–like you already knew what this would do to him.

”You…That’s what I want.” You whispered. Bob swallowed hard. His pulse thundered in his ears. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t blink. His hand twitched in his lap like it wanted to reach for you but didn’t dare.

And then–

You kissed him.

Your lips found his like they’d been there before in a hundred different dreams. They were soft, impossibly soft, and he swore time folded in on itself. It wasn’t rushed, or messy, or careless–it was a moment made of weightless things. Breath and longing. The quiet hum of the earth under your feet and the echo of a hope that had waited far too long to bloom.

Bob didn’t kiss back at first–not out of hesitation, but out of sheer disbelief. His breath hitched like he was afraid he’d ruin it by moving. But then your hand slid into his hair, your thumb grazing the curve of his jaw again, and something in him unspooled completely.

He kissed you back like he’d been drowning for years and only just now found air. Gentle at first–uncertain–but then a little more desperate. His fingers found your thigh where your legs were still touching, squeezing it gently, anchoring him to the here and now. He tilted his head slightly, deepening the kiss by a fraction, like he was afraid you might vanish if he didn’t get closer. Like he needed to memorize the shape of your mouth, the warmth of your breath, the soft sigh you let out when his lips parted just barely against yours.

And for a moment, there was nothing else. No car. No road. No Connor. Just the two of you suspended in something delicate and golden and sacred.

He was still breathing like he’d just run ten miles when you pulled back. He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes shutting tight like he was trying to hold onto the feeling, preserving it in his chest like a light in a jaw. The windows were fogging at the corners now, despite them being open, and the air between you had turned warm and close, while every shared breath was a little shallower, a little hungrier than the one before.

You tilted your head just slightly, brushing the tip of your nose along his cheek, and he shuddered.

“Jesus Y/N…” He whispered, “I-I think I’m gonna pass out.” You smiled gently against his skin, letting your lips brush over the corner of his mouth.

“You’re doing better than you think.” You whispered, as your hand slid down from his jaw to rest against his chest, right over his heart–feeling it pounding like a war drum. He looked at you then, dazed and wide-eyed, mouth still pink and parted, and when you shifted your weight toward him, his breath caught.

“Can I…?” you asked, your voice softer than ever, your gaze flicking downward–toward his lap.

He nodded before you could finish the question. Like it wasn’t even a decision, just a reflex. “Y-yeah. Yeah. Please.”

You climbed over the center console slowly, carefully, and Bob’s hands went to your hips instinctively, steadying you like you might disappear mid-motion. The second you settled on top of him, straddling his lap, he tensed beneath you–shoulders rigid, breath shallow–but his grip never wavered.

“Okay?” you asked again, brushing your thumbs over the fabric of his shirt.

He nodded again, voice trembling. “Yeah. I just… I don’t know what to do with my hands.”

You smiled, sliding yours over his. “You’re already doing fine.”

And then you kissed him again.

This time, it wasn’t soft.

It was warm and slow, sure–but there was something boiling under the surface now. A spark that had caught flame. You kissed him like you’d been waiting for this, starving for it, and Bob melted into it like he didn’t know how not to. His hands tightened at your hips, not possessive, just desperate for anchoring. For something real.

He moaned against your mouth when your fingers slid into his hair again, tugging just lightly. It was a sound you felt before you heard it–a low vibration in your chest where your bodies were brushing, where your thighs pressed against his hips.

You rolled your hips once, slowly, more a shift than a grind–and Bob gasped into your kiss.

“O-Oh god,” He breathed, voice trembling, forehead falling to your shoulder for a second as he tried to collect himself.

“You okay?” You murmured, pressing a kiss to his temple.

He nodded, his voice shaky and stunned. “Y-You’re gonna kill me.”

You kissed him again before he could spiral further, and this time his hands slid under your shirt, trailing up your back, like he wanted to feel every inch of you he was allowed. The smooth skin was vast, and all he realized was just how soft you truly were as he pulled your body against his. His mouth opened beneath yours, and you deepened the kiss slowly, tilting your head, tasting the warmth of him, the desperation he was too shy to say out loud.

And then his hips shifted under you, unintentionally–and the friction made you both gasp. His fingers flexed against your back, clinging. Needy. His breath came faster, rougher, and he whined into your mouth when your hips shifted again, intentionally this time–grinding against him with slow, aching friction.

“Y-Y/N,” he whimpered, voice cracking apart, and your hand found the back of his neck, holding him close as you kissed him harder. The car felt too small now, too warm, too full of air that wasn’t moving–but neither of you could stop. Not yet.

His mouth opened wider, tongue brushing yours hesitantly–like he was asking permission even now, like he didn’t know if you still wanted this. But the second you deepened it, the second your lips parted and your tongue met his with a soft, slick slide–he lost whatever fragile control he had left.

He moaned–quiet and broken–and then his hips lifted just barely into yours. You both froze at the pressure, the friction.

His fingers dug into your hips. “I-I can’t–” He breathed, forehead falling back to yours. “I’m gonna–if we keep–I can’t think.”

“Hey,” You whispered, brushing your nose against his, breathless, lips still ghosting his, “It’s okay. We can stop.”

“I don’t want to stop,” He blurted, and it sounded like a confession, “I just–I need to. I want to…So so bad, it’s just–god, I want to do it right.”

You smiled, fingers slipping up to his flushed cheeks, holding him there–trembling, dazed, burning beneath you.

“You are doing it right, Bob,” You murmured, kissing him once more—slower this time, gentler, reverent. “We don’t have to rush anything.”

His arms slid around your waist, holding you like he couldn’t let go, like if he did the whole thing might vanish like a fever dream. His breath was hot against your collarbone now, lips resting against your skin, and he nodded, finally beginning to breathe again.

“I-I just want to be close to–to you,” He whispered. “Even if it’s just like this. Even if we don’t–y’know. Yet.”

You leaned your head against his, your hand stroking the back of his neck slowly, grounding him.

“Then let’s just stay like this,” You said softly. “You and me.”

He nodded again, arms tightening around you.

“Yeah,” He whispered. “You and me.”

The windows stayed fogged, your breaths remained shallow, your lips kiss-swollen and raw. But you didn’t move.

And in the quiet heat of that parked car, it felt like something had finally started. Something that didn’t need words.

[absurdthirst]

The Last Part of Him {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 19.2k

Warnings: Flirting/Courting, Joel's a little confused, Flirting through food, dates, feelings of inadequacy, oral sex (male and female receiving) premature ejaculation, shame, fleeing the scene of the crime, public blowjobs, mentions of infertility, sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, Joel being sexy when he's confident, relationship issues, miscommunication, five year flash forward, mentions of illness, canon events, pregnancy.

Comments: When Joel and Ellie come to Jackson, you are instantly attracted to the gruff and slightly solitary man. Chasing him down until you become interwoven in his life.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Joel sighs as he looks around the house, full of mismatched furniture and remnants  from long dead owners who perished during the outbreak. Joel feels a little awkward touching anything, the space doesn't feel like his, but since he and Ellie returned from Colorado, he is desperate to settle down. He doesn't know how to. It's been twenty years of fighting to stay alive and all of a sudden he doesn't need to fight for his meal, it's provided. He doesn't need to try to stay warm, he has a fireplace and space heaters. He doesn't have to just survive. It's hard to shake old habits so the residents of Jackson are skittish when he's around, dark eyes full of the battles he fought over the years and that makes them nervous, scared that he's going to snap. Ellie has settled in like a duck to water, meeting the other teenagers despite her initial apprehension, and Joel is happy to see that. It confirms that he made the right choice to save her. Picking up the coffee cup, Joel falls back into the chair at the kitchen table. He doesn't have to survive anymore...he can live. He stares at the cup until there's a knock on the door. His heart pounds and the instinct to grab his gun is there but he slowly makes his way to the door, opening it to find you standing there. "Uh, can I help you?" He asks, taken back by the pretty young thing on his doorstep holding a basket of what looks like muffins.

You shift nervously, smiling at the handsome newcomer to Jackson. Not exactly new since he and the girl were here for a few days several months ago, but they are back to stay. You’ve met the girl, Ellie, and she’s nice, if not a little abrasive. Joel, though, you’ve only seen him in passing and you wanted to introduce yourself to Tommy’s older brother. Your name comes out of your mouth, almost hesitantly and you could kick yourself for nearly stuttering because of an attractive set of brown eyes and silver threaded hair. “Wanted to introduce myself and welcome you to Jackson.” You offer, holding up the basket. “Hope you like blackberries?” You ask. “I’ve got a greenhouse in my backyard. Blackberries are abundant this year so far.” You’re rambling so you clamp your mouth shut. “Made them myself.”

Joel hates that his immediate reaction is suspicion but what can he do? He raises his eyebrows, watching you shift from one foot to the other, biting your lower lip like he’s gonna shove the muffins on the floor. “I, uh, thanks.” He says, brow still furrowed but he musters a smile for you. “You didn’t have to do that.” He reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, “they, uh, they look good. Thanks.” He adds again, not sure how to act when faced with genuine kindness.

“We’ve grown our wheat fresh.” You offer, knowing that some have voiced concern about eating flour when they first arrived. “No old stores. Not that they would have survived twenty years anyway.” You hate how stupid you sound, especially because he’s more attractive up close than he had been walking the streets, an unapproachable scowl on his face. “So you know, it’s safe to eat.”

You’re nervous and he has no idea why except maybe his reputation has preceded him in Jackson. He knows that the people are wary of him and don’t know who exactly he is. “Thanks. I, uh, I don’t remember the last time I ate a muffin.”

God, he’s sexy. You swallow down a slight giggle, wondering if you are just horny because of lack of selection. “Well I promise you’ll love my muffins.” You don’t even think about how it will sound until it’s out of your mouth and Joel’s brow twitches slightly. “So, uh, welcome to Jackson, neighbor.” You offer, even if you don’t live nearby. Because you’re single, you live in an apartment.

Joel nods, still cautious and confused as you offer him a little wave and he frowns when his thought is “how cute.” He doesn’t think of anything as cute, not since Sarah would cuddle her teddy bear when she fell asleep. He sighs, shutting the door when you bounce off the porch and he looks down at the muffin, picking one up to take a big bite out and groans, “fuck, those are good.” He mutters to himself as he strides into the kitchen just as Ellie comes through the front door, shrugging off her jacket, and she strides into the kitchen to see Joel with a muffin in his hand. “Muffins?” She guesses even though she only saw them in books. Baked goods were really a common commodity in the QZ. Joel nods, “neighbor brought them over.” He explains after he swallows and Ellie eagerly grabs one, “fuck yeah.” She declares, taking a big bite and she groans at the taste. Joel looks at the muffin in his hand, thinking about the pretty woman who made them for him. She won’t be back…she will realize he’s not someone you want as your neighbor.

You don’t hear anything back from him, although it’s to be expected. You didn’t exactly tell him where to find you. You had hoped that he would ask around, maybe using the basket as an excuse to track you down. Still, you see Ellie around town for the next few days and spot Joel once or twice, but he’s always talking to Tommy and Maria, obviously discussing something serious. You don’t see him at dinner in the dining hall though. Making you decide that the perfect excuse to visit again would be dropping off the casserole you had made. Calling yourself an idiot as you once again wait on the porch for someone to answer the door.

Joel adjusts the reading glasses that were gifted to him by Tommy as a joke for being officially an old man but he has found himself reluctantly reaching for them for reading things. He makes his way to the front door, wondering if Ellie forgot her keys and he is surprised when he sees you standing there. “Uh, hi.” He says your name, stomach twisting at the sight of you.

You can’t help but grin, a silly little happy grin because he remembered your name. “Hi.” He doesn’t open the door wider, doesn’t offer to let you come inside. Still guarded and there’s confusion in his eyes. Making you wonder when the last time he had someone just be nice to him. “I never see you in the dining hall.” You announce. “Maybe you don’t like crowds? Or people?” You chuckle slightly but he just looks at you, his eyes heavy on you and you shift. “Anyway, I, uh, I made this casserole.” You love a good, hearty casserole. It’s comforting and warming, reminding you of better times. “For you.” You add. “The casserole is for you. And Ellie.”

Joel looks down at the dish in your hand, eyebrows raising slightly, “I, uh, I still have your other basket.” He remembers, scratching his jaw, “do you - Ellie is out and I ain’t really lookin’ forward to eatin’ alone. You wanna come in and have some of this?” He asks, not wanting to be alone despite that being selfish.

“Y-yeah.” You nod, heart pounding at the unsure look on his face. As if he was expecting you to say no. “I’d like that. I don’t like eating alone either.” You shrug slightly. “Unless I’m pissed at the world and don’t want to talk.” You admit with a roll of your eyes. “Because for some reason, people can’t just sit with you and not talk.”

Joel snorts, nodding his head, “Ellie never shuts up.” He confesses, making you chuckle as you follow him into the house after he turns and makes his way into the house he’s still trying to be comfortable enough in to call home. “You want a beer?” He asks, thankful Tommy brought them over today and he’s had them cooling since they arrived.

“Sure.” You set the casserole down on the counter when he guides you into the kitchen. It’s nice, the old appliances are still sitting on the counters although they look like they haven’t been used. Except for the coffee maker. It still holds a cup of coffee in the carafe from where he had made some this morning. “What was the old saying? ‘It’s five o’clock somewhere.’ Well, it’s past five now, so I think we are good and I’m not going on a recon tomorrow.”

He frowns, trying to figure out where the plates are. He hasn’t memorized the kitchen set up just yet so he opens a few cabinets before he finds them. He sets them down on the table and quickly locates the silverware. “It smells really good.” He compliments you, wanting you to know he appreciates this, even if he can’t really express it.

“Thanks.” You watch him stumble around his own kitchen, now looking for cups and you tilt your head before you move to arrange the plates in front of the chairs. “You know, you should really reorganize the kitchen how you want it.” You suggest. “It’s your house now. Not like the old owners are going to be upset.”

Joel pauses at your words, surprised you observed him like you did. He feels a little exposed and he finds the cups. After setting them down, he opens the fridge to pull out two beers. “I haven’t been here long.” He reveals even though you know that, “I don’t remember the last time I had a kitchen like this.”

“You’ll get used to it faster than you believe possible.” You promise as you move to shift the casserole to the table in the middle. “It’s honestly nice, trying to rebuild a little bit of the past. Maybe improve it.”

He shifts to sit down, watching you as you take the seat opposite him, and he remembers he’s wearing the glasses. He reaches up to take them off, folding them, and he reaches for the serving spoon at the same time as you. When your fingers brush his, his heart flutters in his chest. “You first.” He insists, handing you the spoon.

It’s almost a shame that he took off his glasses. It gave him an almost scholarly appearance, although without him, he’s just hot. He even has manners, which makes you smile as you dip out a portion and turn the spoon around towards him. “Thank you.” You murmur.

He serves himself and lifts his full cup after pouring the beers out. “Thanks for dinner.” He murmurs, taking a sip of the beer that’s the equivalent to Michelob Ultra. Basically water but in these times beggars can’t be choosers. He sets his beer down and picks up the spoon, taking his first bite, and he groans at the taste of your cooking.

You hope that’s a good groan and not one that means he hates it. You take a bite yourself and feel like it’s good. It has to be, because Joel digs in a little faster. Not hunched over his food like some do, but the scrape of the spoon is quicker than yours. Smiling, you reach for your beer and take a sip.

He’s not used to eating slowly. He’s used to eating to survive and he is still in that habit. Shoving food in until he sees your eyes and he slows down. He swallows his bite, knowing he should say something. “It’s really good.” He gestures his spoon towards the food.

“I’m glad you like it.” He sounds gruff, but you think that’s just the way he talks. You don’t take offense to it. “Because there’s enough for leftovers.” You crack a grin and look around. “And I don’t see any evidence of sneaking one of the dogs home.” You joke. The dogs are trained to sniff out infected, treated well, but definitely not allowed to be kept as pets.

He chuckles for a moment, setting his spoon down, “the dogs would definitely love your cooking. Ellie, uh, she really liked the muffins. Kid ain’t had one because of the outbreak and the QZ didn’t exactly have a Panera.” He jokes quietly.

“I couldn’t imagine they did.” You like the fact that he can make a joke. The little half smile that curves his lips makes you want to see a full one. “Although coffee would be the most important thing to me.” You admit. “Nothing better than a cup of hot coffee, especially first thing in the morning.”

He nods, “absolutely. One thing I missed all those days on the road…cup of coffee. Could do without food. Could do without…well, without sex.” He says honestly, “but coffee? Especially Ellie tellin’ me these stupid puns all day.” He gently rolls his eyes but his gesture is full of affection.

There’s obviously a fatherly love for the girl, you can tell by the way his voice changes, softens. It makes you smile, even if your entire body had lit up when the word ‘sex’ had dripped off his tongue. “Coffee and sex makes for the best morning though.” You chuckle. “You can survive anything then. Even puns.”

He snorts, “true. Folgers and an orgasm ain’t a bad way to start the day.” He chuckles, “not in that order.” He adds after a beat and he continues eating, spoon scraping the plate. “Where did you learn to cook?” He asks, curious if you taught yourself or a family member taught you.

“The group I was in before Jackson recon found me.” You smile. “There was an old woman who served as our cook. No matter how low we were on supplies, she could make it feel like a feast.” You shrug. “She taught me, and so I volunteer in the kitchens sometimes.”

Joel nods, “you got skills, sweetheart.” He smiles and looks down at his plate as you smile at him. “What happened to your group?” He asks, curious because everyone has a story, everyone has a tragedy.

“Dead.” Your group had been unfortunately softer than needed in this harsh world and hadn’t put down someone infected right away. “About a hundred miles from here.”

He taps his spoon against the plate, “shit. I’m so-sorry.” He murmurs, knowing that he has seen some shit go down in groups. “Well, I’m glad you ain’t one of them.” He murmurs until he catches himself, “otherwise I would be eatin’ stale crackers and jerky.”

You chuckle softly. “Thanks.” You shrug. “And you came out here from Boston to find Tommy?” Everyone has heard the story, you just think that it’s amazing. The show of loyalty makes your heart flutter.

Joel nods, “yeah. He, uh, didn’t exactly tell me he had found fuckin’ apocalyptic paradise and got married with a kid on the way, I thought he was in the middle of nowhere.” He confesses, “but I brought Ellie along with me and yeah, she’s a good kid.”

“You thought he was in trouble and came to the rescue.” It makes him even more admirable in your opinion and it’s amazing you aren’t just simpering in a puddle at his feet. “I know that the town has been buzzing. You used to build? Before all of the end of the world shit?” Fuck, in his prime, on a construction site? Joel Miller would have been fucking eye candy to you.

Joel nods, feeling like that career was a lifetime ago. He’s developed other skill sets, ones he never imagined having to learn back when he was building houses for a living. “Yeah. Me and Tommy had our own business.” He reveals, “was damn good at it.” He boasts and smiles softly at some of the jobs he did. “I can help out around town.” He offers, knowing he’s already offered that to Maria. He wants to earn his place here.

“That’s impressive.” You have a competency kink and you know it, so that just makes him even more attractive. “I know we will be grateful. Everyone pitches in, but people who had knowledge before all of this, they are important.”

“Not quite as useful as a doctor but I’ll do my best.” He offers you a small chuckle until he finishes his dinner. “I can’t really cook for shit other than rabbits and uh, things I catch like fish so that was really good.” He compliments you, “thank you.” He murmurs, wanting you to know he appreciates it.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He’s a little more friendly now, but you don’t want to push him, knowing that he’s not one for a lot of chit chat. “Let me help clean up and I’ll let you enjoy your evening.” You offer. “I doubt you’re going to the movie tonight?”

He wants to say more but he’s not capable. Ellie did all the talking when they were traveling. He sighs, shaking his head, “not really my scene.” He confesses, “no one wants me around.” He admits what he’s been thinking since he arrived in Jackson. “Here, lemme clean up.” He orders, taking the plate from your hand.

You don’t think that is true, but you just hum. “I’ll cover the casserole and put it in the fridge for you.” You stand and reach for the pan at the same time that Joel does and you laugh. “I can help.”

You seem to be unable to resist and he knows when to relent. He nods, “I appreciate that.” He says softly as he carries the plates over to the sink to rinse them off. It’s still crazy to have running water like this. He’s still trying to adapt to living like he did twenty years ago.

There’s a soft silence between you as you work. It’s not heavy, or expectant. It’s actually kind of nice. Once the food is stored away and the dishes are resting in the drying rack, there’s nothing keeping you here. “Well, I better go.” You murmur, not sure of what to say, or how to indicate that you would stay if he asked you too. He probably doesn’t anyway, finding you annoying and wanting to be rid of you. “I’ll take my basket back though.”

He wants to ask you to stay because he’s alone and he doesn’t want to get too used to being alone. He doesn’t say that though, he nods, “of course.” He walks over to where he stored it, handing it back to you, and he scratches the back of his head, “thanks…for, you know, the casserole and the muffins.”

“You’re welcome.” You flash a smile and then turn around to walk down the porch steps, already planning the next thing you’ll drop by with. 

Over the course of next two weeks, you bring him a blackberry pie, another casserole and a beautiful teal plaid shirt you had traded a gallon of blackberries to Seth for. The crotchety older man didn’t know why you wanted a shirt he didn’t like, but you knew that it would look amazing on Joel. Still, since that first dinner with him, nothing had gone past awkward conversations at his door and you wondered if he just wasn’t interested in you.

Joel adjusts the shirt he’s wearing - the one that you got him - as he stands outside your door. The small box suddenly feels heavy and he feels dumb and as soon as he knocks, he wants to stride off. Before he can step away, you open your door and his chest suddenly feels tight. “Hey.” You greet him with a smile and he nods, “hi.” He shuffles from one foot to the other, “I, uh, brought you something.”

“Oh!” Your eyes widen and they drop down to the box in his hand. “Uh, come in.” You open the door wider, surprised and pleased that he had figured out where you live. “Sorry about the mess.” You apologize, gesturing to the messy sofa with a throw tossed aside from where you were reading with a cup of coffee.

He snorts, “don’t even worry about it.” He shakes his head, “Ellie makes a mess.” He chuckles, stepping into your place. “I, uh, wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” He murmurs, “so, uh, I made you this.” He holds out the box.

Your heart pounds in your chest when you take the box from him. “Wow.” You murmur softly. “I don’t know what to say.” You don’t even know what it is, but you are touched by his thoughtfulness. “Thank you.” You look back at him. “Do you want a cup of coffee?”

He nods, a little nervous, and his stomach twists at the thought of you not liking the gift he’s spent hours making for you. He hasn’t had the luxury of a hobby, not for years…not really since before Sarah was born. So it’s been strange to spend time working on something without there being a financial gain or to keep alive. He watches you make your way into the kitchen, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You set the box down carefully and pull a mug off the open shelves that make up the top of your kitchen. “I have some fresh milk if you want?” You offer as you pour him a cup.

He shakes his head, “black is good. I ain’t drank it any other way since I started drinkin’ it.” He confesses, taking a seat at your kitchen table after you gesture for him to sit.

“Same.” You admit. “When I was younger, fuck, I thought coffee was nasty. But now?” You roll your eyes as you bring the box over to the table with your own cup. “Now, I’ll open this.” You promise, sitting down and trying not to let the thrill of being given a gift outweigh practicality. You smile at him before taking off the small lid and gasping at the sight of a small wooden figure.

He’s nervous. Fuck, he hates to admit that but he likes you. Even if he’s too old to think about a relationship and you should be avoiding him like everyone else. “It’s, uh, it’s not anything that special.” He rushes out before you take the figure out of the box.

“Not special?” You huff, shaking your head as you run your finger over the small bird. “It’s beautiful.” You murmur. “It must have taken a lot of time.” Which makes it more special. He has taken the time to make something. “I love it.”

His heart flutters at the smile you give him, “you said your mom used to call you little bird so, uh, I thought I’d whittle one. I ain’t that good. I haven’t done anything like that for years.” He confesses, “it’s not my best work.” He self deprecates, not wanting you to say you like it if you don’t.

You practically melt when you hear it’s not something random, he had made it for you. “No, it’s beautiful.” You insist. The imperfections make it that much more special to you. “I-“ you blink back tears. “I think it might be the best thing anyone has ever given me.”

He blushes a little, ducking his head, and he clears his throat. "I'm glad you like it." He murmurs, "it's - I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me." He reveals, tapping his fingers on his mug as he watches you admire the woodwork.

“It was nothing.” You hum, still admiring the little figure. Part of you wonders if he is giving you something out of guilt or perhaps he’s realized you are interested in him.

You're quiet as you touch the figure and Joel doesn't find it awkward. He isn't a stranger to silence. He tilts his head slightly as he looks at you, "why?" He asks softly and you turn to look at him. "Why what?" You frown and Joel clears his throat, "why - why have you done so much for me?"

You’re a little embarrassed when he asks, but you clear your throat. “I wanted to make you feel welcomed.” It’s true, but not completely true and from the doubtful way Joel eyes you, you know it doesn’t believe that. At least he’s not looking at you suspiciously. “I did. And I -“ you hesitate. “I wanted to see if you were as handsome up close as I thought you were.” You admit. “You are, by the way. Very handsome.”

He is surprised by your comment, cheeks flushing a little more and he turns his head to look at your sink. He almost chokes on his breath when it hits him that you are saying he’s handsome. You. “I, um, thanks.” He mutters awkwardly and you seem to shrink back a little, “you’re- you’re great too.” He says and your smile falls, your brow furrowing without your awareness and Joel immediately realizes his mistake. “And gorgeous. Really like - I think you’re beautiful. Inside and out.” He rushes out, wanting to make this right.

“It’s okay.” You are a little disappointed, but not surprised. He’s not interested. You had heard rumors that he had been with a woman until he had lost her on his way to Jackson. You will just swallow down your little crush and go about your life. “You don’t need to make me feel better.” You promise. “I’m a big girl.”

His brow furrows at your words, confused because he just paid you a compliment and you think he’s making it up. He reaches out to cup your cheek, turning your head towards him. “You have any idea how often I think about you? About your smile, your laugh, the way your nose does that little bunching thing when you’re confused? I think about you all the time but I don’t deserve you. I’ve done bad things. My hands are bloody and I don’t deserve a happy ending. I cannot taint you with my fuckin’ sins. I cannot add that to the guilt that drowns me every damn day.” He explains, hoping you understand.

“Everyone has blood on their hands.” You feel like you’re about to whimper, he’s so close to you, touching you. Like you would beg him to kiss you. “We’ve had to be different than before, that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve whatever happiness we can find now.”

Joel doesn't hesitate. He surges forward to press his lips to yours. Spurred on by your kind words, he tilts your head so he can kiss you like he's been imagining far too many times.

His lips are surprisingly soft, tender as he kisses you. It’s not nearly as rough as you imagined, but you can feel the repressed need underneath. Making you sigh as you curl into him, sinking deeper into the feeling as your head spins.

Having you kiss him back has his stomach twisting and he wants to deepen the kiss but it’s not time. You’re not some quick fuck to release stress and tension. He wants you - this - to be different. He nudges his nose against yours before he pulls back, caressing your cheek until his hand drops back to the table while he waits for see your reaction.

You whine slightly, a little protest, but you don’t try to pull him back in. “That was….” Your smile is soft. “Very good.” You hum, eyes fluttering after opening. “Um….yeah.” You are a little befuddled, but it’s not in a bad way. Like the promise of something sweeter has already been made.

He likes seeing you flustered, he realizes, and he wants to kiss you again, but for now, he settles for a small smile. “You- you wanna go to the movie night with me tomorrow?” He asks, knowing this is a huge step because he avoids the town events but he wants to treat you well.

Your eyes widen in surprise but you immediately nod as if you’re afraid he might take back the offer. “Yes. Yes.” You huff out in a rushed little laugh, feeling like a teenager being asked out by a boy you have a crush on. “I would like that.”

Joel nods, trying not to act like a teenage boy who just got the girl he likes to go on a movie date with him. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” He promises, reaching for your hand, and he picks it up to kiss the back of it.

“I’ll see you then.” You promise with a small wink. “I’ll make some cookies for us to eat at the movie.”

He nods, nervous of being out beside you but he wants to make a life here and that means remembering how the world worked before it went to shit. “I’ll leave you to your evenin’.” He says after a moment, “I’m sure you’ll be wantin’ some peace.” He squeezes your hand and shifts to stand up from his seat.

“Okay.” You know that he needs to take things slow and it’s honestly a good idea since it’s not like either one of you can move away. Jackson is home and you’ll have to be in proximity to each other. “But only because I will see you tomorrow.” You tease as you walk him to the door.

His heart flutters at your words, smiling softly as he turns to look at you while he’s leaning against your door frame. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leans in to kiss your cheek, hovering for a moment until he pulls away. Looking at you one last time before he disappears down the hall.

****

Joel reaches up to adjust his collar, stomach twisting with nerves like he’s a damn teenager going on his first date. In a way, it kinda is. He hasn’t dated since Sarah’s mom and he was a teenager back then. He waits for you to answer and when you do, his breath hitches at the sight of you standing there.

“Hi.” You smile softly as you take him in. He looks fresh from a shower and even his beard looks thinner, like he’s trimmed it. “You look great.” You compliment honestly. “I don’t know if I’m dressed up enough to be on your arm.” Everyone dresses practically, but you had picked the jeans that make your ass look the best and the prettiest top you have. Feeling like a teenager as you ripped through your small wardrobe.

He swallows harshly as he drags his dark eyes down your figure, “you look great too. Actually, you look- too damn good to hear out an asshole like me.” He chuckles humorlessly and you shake your head, reaching for his hand. That grounds him and his eyes meet yours. He licks his lips, staring at you for a moment. “Sorry. I ain’t - I’m out of practice. You ready to go?” He asks, not wanting to ruin this.

“Yeah.” You grab the container with the cookies that you had placed near the door. “I’ve heard that there’s gonna be a dance coming up.” You offer as you both step out of your apartment. “They want to do more of them. Promote community.”

His hand hovers over the small of your back as you make your way downstairs and out of your apartment. He glances around once you’re outside, still a little anxious being in a place that isn’t constantly under attack. He wants to ask if you want to go to the dance but that’s a bit too much for him unless he can hide in the shadows.

You don’t take offense when he doesn’t answer. You just walk by his side, smiling and calling out to people that you know as you make your way to the movie. It’s enough that he’s just here with you.

He walks alongside you, feeling a little anxious, but he’s determined to be there beside you. He wants to try, he wants to try for you. There’s a lot of people gathering for the movie and Joel tenses but you sense his unease, taking his hand to guide him to some chairs in the back row. You know he’d feel better there and he appreciates it, trying to ignore how everyone looks at him with a mixture of surprise and distrust.

Everyone is curious, craning their necks and looking at the both of you. They have asked about Joel to Tommy and Maria, but his brother and sister-in-law have kept their answers vague, respecting his privacy. Now you know that people will ask about you, since Joel tends to keep to himself. Instead of ignoring them, you nod and smile politely, knowing that Joel is probably glowering slightly. He’s just got a face that is always gonna look a little annoyed.

He hates how people stare but you squeeze his hand and he focuses on you instead as you guide him to your seats. When you’re seated, you set your purse down, opening it to hand him a flask and he frowns at it, “figured you could use it.” You wink and his heart flutters. You thought of everything. “Thanks.” He murmurs, his eyes on yours and he takes a swig to quell his anxiety.

You nod, reassuring him softly and soon the lights are dimming for the movie to begin, the projector in front of you coming to life. “Hope it’s not a boring movie.” You whisper to him with a slight giggle. “If it is, we might have to ditch.” You really just want him to know that if he wants to leave, you’ll be okay with that. Although he’s relaxing beside you. Reaching over, you take his free hand, keeping your eyes on the screen.

Your hand in his has him relaxing slightly and he nods, squeezing your hand back, the flask in his other hand, and he sighs, leaning in towards you, “thanks, sweetheart.” He murmurs before leaning back in his seat to watch a movie he hasn’t seen since Sarah was a little kid. He’s taken back to the memory of her sitting next to him in the movie theater, popcorn in hand, and her eyes wide in amazement at the movie.

You feel him tense beside you, looking over to see shadows in his eyes and you wonder if there’s something in his past that’s triggered by the movie. Everyone here has a past, something that they have struggled with since the end of the world. Even the ones that were born after the outbreak. It might be easier for them though, since this world is all they’ve ever known. “Do we need to leave?” You ask quietly, leaning in to smell the scent of soap mixed with wood and man. He smells wonderful and you could curl up into him.

He turns to look at you, surprised by your consideration, and he shakes his head. “No. No. I’m good.” He promises with a whisper, shifting to wrap his arm around your shoulders, wanting to feel you close to him as you ground him in the moment.

You hum softly, leaning into him and your arm rests on his thigh. It feels natural and you love how protected and safe you feel. You can’t even explain it, but Joel has never once made you nervous besides the attraction and the fear of making a fool of yourself. He’s a violent man, he’s done violent things, but he wouldn’t hurt you unless he was forced to. You know that.

Joel relaxes as he breathes in the clean scent of your soap and shampoo. You are warm and he allows himself this time to be absorbed into the movie. He doesn’t remember the last time he allowed the tension to leave his body. He’s always been on since the outbreak started. He absentmindedly rubs your arm and when the movie ends, he blinks, brought back to reality.

“That was pretty cute.” You decide, having never seen the movie before and you watch as others start to gather their trash and belongings. You don’t feel the need to move right now, unless Joel wants to sneak out before everyone else.

He nods, turning to look at you, “I went to see that at the movies with my daughter, Sarah.” He confesses, a soft smile on his lips. “She, uh, she was shot on Outbreak Day.” He reveals, flexing his fingers at the memory of her dying in his arms.

“Oh Joel.” Your heart shatters for him, watching the way his eyes reflect the devastation he must have felt that day and carried with him for the past twenty years. “I am so sorry.” You murmur softly, touching his arm and not trying to give him any platitudes beyond the simple touch.

He nods, jaw tightening as the memories hit him, but your touch seems to pull him out before he gets too buried under the past. He glances around at the nearly disappeared crowd, “you wanna go back to yours or we can go for a walk?” He offers, not wanting to let go of you just yet.

“Why don’t we go for a walk?” You agree with a smile. “I normally go and check on the horses every evening.” You know he rides, when he left months ago, he had actually stolen a horse. Or rather, Tommy had said he had given him a horse. “Is that okay?”

He nods, standing up, and his joints ache, but he takes your hand as you make your way out of the barn. The night is chilly and he adjusts his jacket, “you cold?” He asks and you shake your head, “no, I'm good.” You promise and you take a slow walk to the stables.

It’s not too far, and the familiar scent of hay and horses calms you. “It’s so beautiful out here.” You smile softly as you both walk towards the stables. “And the town is growing, rumor has it, it’s gonna grow even faster now that you are here.”

Joel snorts, “yeah. Maria has all kinds of plans for this place. Between me and Tommy, it’s gonna be a construction zone.” He confesses, squeezing your hand as the moon rises in the sky.

“That’s good.” You smile, although it’s a little bittersweet. “We need people in Jackson. Otherwise all we are doing is just prolonging death.” You wish the world was different, but it’s not.

Joel chuckles, "true. Gotta have more kids." He hums, turning to look at you, "but I'll leave that to the younger men. Ain't no one needing me to be a daddy at my age." He declares, "there's enough men to make Jackson thrive in the future."

You could make a dirty joke, but you just shrug. “It’s not in the cards for me either, so I don’t worry about it.” Joel looks over at you with a frown, clearly confused but unsure of what to say. “Never been pregnant.” You admit. “Never even had a scare, not like there are fertility doctors nowadays, but I think that it’s not my fate.”

Joel frowns because he thinks you’d make a good mom but he won’t pour salt in a wound. “I kinda wish I’d gotten the snip before the world went to shit but I was in my mid 30s, wasn’t sure if I’d be a dad again, and I had Sarah. She was my life but I kinda wanted to have another kid back then. Now? I got Ellie.” He says without elaborating.

“She’s a good kid.” You assure him. She can be blunt and assertive, but that’s not a bad thing. Reaching the stables, you open the doors with a grin. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen.” You coo. “The horses are kinda like my kids.” You tell him. “They are like temperamental toddlers sometimes.”

He snorts, walking over to the horses. He slides his palm along his nose, smiling when the horse snorts. “They kinda are like toddlers.” He agrees, “and you do a good job of looking after them.” He adds, watching you as you stroke the horse.

“They are probably the most vital assets we have, besides the dogs.” You admit. “I know they are animals, but they are also a part of our community, our future.” You look over at Joel. “Just like you and Ellie are.”

He chuckles, stepping closer to you. “You are the future.” He murmurs, his hand coming up to slide along your arm until he is taking your hand in his. He tugs you close and cups your cheek with his free hand. “You are always on my mind.” He admits softly, caressing your cheek.

“It was the muffins, wasn’t it?” You tease, your own hands pulling him closer, enjoying the broadness of him as you wrap your arms around him. He chuckles again, the best sound in the world to you right now. “So are you going to kiss me Joel?” You demand. “I know I’m a little rusty, but I know a date usually ends with kissing.”

His eyes meet yours, dark and intense. He’s nervous and he feels stupid for being so nervous when he’s a grown man. He leans his head towards yours, gently brushing his lips against your softer ones. His calloused hand caressing your cheek while he kisses you.

You sigh softly, eyes fluttering closed while the horse in the stall next to you shifts, annoyed that she’s not being petted anymore. Not that you realize that. You can’t think of anything but Joel kissing you.

You’re so soft and sweet, leaning into him and your hand caresses your chest. He knows you can feel his heart pounding and he should be more confident but the last woman he kissed was Tess…even his kisses to her were few and far between. He kisses you softly, not wanting you to see the dark side of him just yet.

You can tell that he’s holding back, and you don’t mind it. This is getting to know each other and you won’t push him for more than he wants to give. Finally Shimmer butts her head against your shoulder to get your attention, breaking up the kiss and making you giggle. “Jealous, pretty girl?” You coo, turning towards her to pet her nose. “You should be.”

Joel watches you, a soft smile on his face as he watches you interact with the horse. Your words make his stomach flutter, and he sighs, “I should be gettin’ you home.” He glances out the stable opening to the sky.

You would like to be with him a little longer, but you just nod. “That sounds good.” You hum softly. “I’m sure you are busy tomorrow. Are you working on the gates?” You ask, aware that the council had voted on improving defense systems for the town.

He nods, "yeah. Gonna be heading out on patrol." He confirms, "gotta be up at eight." He doesn't want to leave you but he needs to let you get some sleep. He knows you could wake up in the morning and realize that the town is scared of him and ultimately reject him. He is preparing for that to happen. You are too good for him. He takes your hand again, guiding you away from the stables and back to your apartment building.

You don’t talk as you walk, but again, the silence isn’t stifling. It’s really rather nice. Just two people, enjoying the night together. When you are at your door, you open it and turn to him. “I had a nice night.” You promise. “I would invite you in, but I don’t think you’re ready for that and I don’t want to wonder if you don’t want me.” You admit, leaning in to press your lips to his.

His hands find your waist, dragging you closer as he kisses you. He pulls back after a moment, "you don't have to wonder. I want you. I just - I don't want to ruin you." He confesses his fear, "I don't want you to end up hating me."

You can’t help but laugh at his comment. “I’m not going to hate you.” You promise, reaching up and caressing his whisker rough cheek. “I’ve been chasing you, remember?” You have been throwing yourself at him to get his attention. “If you want to come inside, I want you in my bed tonight. If you want to wait, I’ll just touch myself and think about you in my bed.”

His cock twitches in his pants at the thought of you touching yourself. His hands squeeze your hips, pulling you even closer to him. He groans when your body presses into his, and he loves it. "Let me come inside and I want to bury my face in your pussy. I don't- I don't deserve to fuck you yet. Lemme taste you." He murmurs, nudging his nose against yours.

You huff, not agreeing with his assessment of him not deserving, but your nod is accompanied by grabbing his hand and stepping back through the door to tug him with you. You smirk when he kicks the door closed and throws the lock before you launch yourself at him. Kissing him again with more passion than before.

He groans, unable to stop himself as he lets you guide him through your apartment. Now that you’ve given him permission, his hands slide along your form, squeezing your ass. He loves how your fingers grip his shirt and he slides his tongue into your mouth.

There’s no hesitation right now. Just the jittery anticipation that makes your stomach feel like you’ve swallowed butterflies and your core flutters wildly. His taste is perfect, warm and rich, his tongue skillfully making you melt as your hands let go of his shirt to push his jacket off his string shoulders.

He walks you backwards, trying to navigate your apartment to find your bedroom while his jacket drops to the floor. He groans into your mouth, pulling back when you stumble into your bedroom and your jacket has joined his. He pushes on your chest to push you backwards into your bed and his hands find your boots, working on pulling them off your feet.

“Eager. I like that.” You aren’t passive, leaning up to pull your shirt over your head to reveal the practical bra you are wearing underneath. There’s little luxury for sexy items, especially now. “Fuck you are so sexy.” You moan, loving the darkening look in his eyes.

He wants to scoff in disbelief that a pretty thing like you would find him sexy but instead, he decides to prove it to you. He unbuttons your pants and pulls them down your legs, his cock already pressing against his zipper as he watches you lift up to unclip your bra. “You’re goddamn sexy.” He rasps, tossing your pants aside so he can slide his hands up the length of your legs until his fingers are hooked in your panties. “Can I taste you, sweetheart?” He asks, dark eyes on yours until they flick down to your core.

“You can do anything you want to me, handsome.” Your pussy aches for him to touch you, taste you. It’s been a long goddamn time since you’ve had a lover and you are eager to see how the two of you are together.

He drags his panties down your legs, tossing them over his shoulder and his hands slide back along your thighs until he’s pushing them apart to expose your folds. Soft curls surround your sex and Joel groans when your heady scent hits his nose. He leans in, slowly pressing kisses to your thighs as he shifts closer until his tongue is sliding through your folds.

You moan so loud that you embarrass yourself. The feeling that races through you is enough to make your thighs squeeze around his head, but his strong hands grip your thighs and pull them apart. “Jesus, fuck.” You whimper, eyes fixed on his head between your legs. “That- God, I haven’t felt this in so long.”

He chuckles, sliding into the ease of making a woman feel good. It’s been a long time since he’s been able to take his time and savor a woman but right now, he isn’t in a rush. His tongue flicks over your clit, loving the way you tangle your fingers in his hair while he pushes his tongue deep.

You don’t know his sexual past, but his previous lovers have been lucky as fuck if they experienced half of the talent in his tongue. “Fuck Joel,” you pant breathlessly. “That feels so good. You must have majored in pussy eating in college.”

He chuckles into your folds, amused by how easily wrecked you are. He slides his tongue up to flick over your clit and he sucks on it, shaking his head and your cry makes his cock twitch in his pants.

He’s so fucking gorgeous, making you cry out as he tears you apart with his mouth. “Fuck, I can’t believe you’re eating my pussy. You know how long I’ve imagined you? Since the first day I saw you. I knew I wanted to get to know you. So fucking pleased when you were single.”

Your words unravel him and he grinds into the edge of your bed. Groaning your name but it’s indistinguishable in your folds as he greedily absorbs your dirty confession. His hands squeeze your thighs, keeping them pushed apart.

He is going to have his way. That is obvious from the way he handles you. He’s not rough, but he’s focused, determined. You had heard from Tommy that he had saved Ellie’s life from a group of men when he had been seriously injured. He hadn’t been trying to dissuade you from your pursuit of Joel, but he had wanted you to know that there are some things about Joel that could be seen as a caution sign. You see it as his willingness to do what needs to be done. Now he’s using that same focus on you, “Fuck!” You squeal when he pulls your clit into his mouth, hips trying to buck up, but he holds you in place. “I’m gonna cum!”

He needs to hear it, feel it. When your cry echoes in your tiny bedroom, your fingers tugging on his silver streaked hair, and your thighs squeezing his head, he groans. While you cum, he grinds into the mattress, his cock twitching in his pants as he cums in them like a fucking teenager.

You are completely unaware, riding out the best orgasm you’ve had in years and he hadn’t even fingered you. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, Joel.” You whimper. “Fuck me.” You beg. “You’ve earned it, fuck yeah, you deserve to fuck me.”

His cheeks immediately redden when he comes back to his senses and your words hit him like ice cold water. "I- I didn't - shit." He hisses, stomach twisting with embarrassment as he shifts to stand up, the front of his pants wet.

You frown, confused by his upset tone. Eyes fluttering open and you blink to focus on him. Then you see the dark spot. “Oh.” You bite your lip, knowing he won’t appreciate a smirk, but it’s kind of sexy that he was so turned on that he shot his load.

"I'm so sorry." He chokes, shuffling back from your bed and he stumbles through your apartment trying to find his coat. "Joel?" You frown, shifting off the bed, "Joel?" You make your way through your apartment just as the front door slams, "Joel!" You shout but he's gone. He's thankful there's no one out as he makes his way home, his jacket not concealing his pants, and he hates how he disappointed you. You'll probably tell your friends, laugh about it, and he will go back to the shadows where he belongs.

You get up and wrap a robe around your body, opening the door to see if Joel is outside. He’s nowhere nearby and you consider getting dressed and going to his house, but you know he would just ignore you. You’ll give him tonight but he won’t just run out without a better damn reason than premature ejaculation again.

****

Joel groans when he wakes up, he hardly slept from the embarrassment of cumming in his pants because you sounded so fucking good when you came on his tongue. He rubs his face and knows he has to get ready for patrol. That also means seeing you in the stables. He groans as his joints ache when he shifts from his bed, and soon he’s stepping into the stables to collect a horse. You’re there, helping another patroller saddle up, and he feels the blush creep onto his cheeks as he waits for you to see the other patroller off.

You’re surprised when you see Joel come slinking into the stables and you half expected him to try to race out of there with his horse. You don’t say anything, just get your rider out. Surprised to see him standing by the horse he had been assigned last time. “Good morning.” You are alone in the stalls and you step closer to him. “If I touch you, are you gonna run away again?” You ask.

He ducks his head, swallowing harshly. “I - shit. I’m sorry. I, uh, fuck. I don’t know why- it’s that- it’s been a while and I’m on the way to sixty and I fucking came in my pants without you even touching me. I was embarrassed.” He knows there’s no point but doing anything but tell you the truth.

You snort softly, not wanting him to think that you are mocking him. “Fuck, it’s a compliment.” You huff, shrugging slightly. “You were that turned on by eating my pussy? By just touching me? In my mind, that just means I was doing something right, even if it has been a long time since someone touched you.” You bite your lip, biting back the urge to offer to touch him right now. He probably wouldn’t accept a blow job in a stall in a horse barn.

Joel glances around, glad that no one is here to hear your conversation and his cock twitches at your words. He's relieved you aren't laughing at him. "I've - I haven't done that since - well, I don't think I ever have. Sweetheart...I ain't - can I try again? Later?" He asks, wanting to show you what he can do.

You lift a brow, this time your lips curving up. “I think I would be crazy to turn that down.” You step a little closer to him, “you know that you are early for your patrol, right?” You murmur. “Plenty of time to go to the back stall and work out a little tension before you go out?” You reach for his hand. “Might help you focus?”

He tilts his head, squeezing your hand, “you sure?” He asks, his voice lowering at the idea of touching you again. You nod, guiding him to the back stall, and it’s like a switch has been flicked on as he drags you close. He cups your cheek, tilting your head to his as he presses his lips to yours.

You let him kiss you, feeling your body light up in pleasure but before he can get farther than cupping your ass, you are pushing him back. Joel frowns in confusion but you press your lips to his reassuringly and drop down to your knees in front of him to smirk up at him as you reach for his belt buckle.

“Darlin’ you don’t have to-” You cut him off by shaking your head and telling him to shush. You pull down the zipper and smile at him, his cock hardening under your naughty gaze as you reach into his pants to pull his cock free.

“Shit.” Joel hisses, twitching in your hand as you squeeze him and start to pump him. “Fuck, baby, you’ve got a gorgeous cock.” Your mouth waters as you greedily take in the sight of him as he sways on his feet slightly, leaning back against the wall of the stall as he looks down at you. “Thick, long. Goddamn I can’t wait to see how you feel inside me.” You clench around nothing. “But right now, I want to see how you taste.” You lean and take the head of his cock into your mouth.

He groans as he watches you wrap your lips around his cock. Your mouth is hot and wet and he is already throbbing in your mouth. “So fuckin’ pretty.” He rasps, caressing your cheek as you start to bob your head to work his cock into your mouth.

You know that someone could come into the stables, but that just makes it a little more exciting for you. Your pussy soaked as you take him deeper, listening to him groan and feeling his stomach lurch under the palm of your hand laying against it. Your lips stretch around him and he hits the back of your throat easily with more to take.

He can’t believe you’re on your knees for him right now. You look so fucking gorgeous and your jaw seems to loosen so you can take him deeper. “Fuck. So goddamn good.” He pants, glad that he doesn’t seem to be shooting his load too soon as you take him in your mouth over and over. His hand grips the metal rack on the wall as the other caresses your cheek.

Your hand moves to his hip, around to his ass as you look up at him. Watching his jaw clench. He looks wrecked, in the best possible way as you suck his cock. Pressing him, encouraging him to rock his hips forward. You can take everything he gives you and you want him to enjoy this.

He pants, watching you as his chest heaves. It's barely past 7am and here you are on your knees for him. He knows he will be thinking about you all damn day now. "Fuck baby. Feel so fuckin' good. Look at you, takin' my cock like that." He growls, tongue loosened by your mouth. He unconsciously rocks his hips like you want and his eyes widen when you choke. You hum around him, barely shaking your head when he shifts to pull away, and your fingers dig into the meat of his ass to keep him down your throat. A move that makes his stomach twist and his cock twitch violently. "Fuck, gonna make me cum if you keep it up." He warns you with a wrecked growl.

You chuckle around him, the sound vibrating up his cock. That’s why you are doing this, to make him cum. Your eyes are watering, but you keep swallowing around him as you bob your head. Wanting to taste his load and swallow him down. Joel chokes out your name and you feel him tense. Knowing that he is so close to cumming. You hum again, eyes fixed on his face so you can watch him. Wanting to see how gorgeous he looks when he falls apart on purpose.

He knows this is so fucking wrong but he can’t help it. He chokes as his cock pulses inside your mouth, a gasp your only warning that he’s cumming. You taste the salty seed as he clings to the metal rack, barely able to stand as you rock his world with your mouth.

The thick spurt of cum coats the back of your throat and fills your mouth. Making you moan as you start to swallow. Trying and failing to swallow every drop as some slides down your jaw. His head tilts back and his growl of pleasure is probably the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. Only stopping when his cock stops twitching and you pull off of him with a soft pop, panting as you lick at the side of your mouth.

He is certain he’s stopped breathing. “Fuck me.” He mutters and you giggle, looking up at him. “I really wanna fuck you but I gotta go on patrol and I need some time to recover. Lemme see you tonight.” He pleads, “need to see you.”

You push to your feet and reach down to tuck him back into his jeans. “Come over when you get back from patrol.” You order softly. “Johnny will be here tonight to put the horses away.” You lean in to kiss his cheek, not sure about how he feels about kissing you with his cum on your tongue. “Be safe, handsome.”

He cups your cheek, uncaring of the taste of his cum on your lips, and he brings your mouth to his so he can kiss you. He slides his tongue into your mouth, wanting to devastate you with his kiss until he steps back, “see ya later, baby.”

“See you later.” You wink and step back as the stable doors open. “Let’s get you saddled up.” You call out a little louder and step out of the stall to give him an extra minute to compose himself. “Tommy. Are you going out this morning?” You greet his brother with a smile.

Joel’s eyes widen at his brother’s name and he runs his hand through his hair, tugging on his shirt before he leaves the stall and finds you talking to his brother. Tommy frowns when he sees how flustered his brother is and his frown shifts into a smirk, “mornin’.” He greets Joel who grunts back. Soon enough, the two men are riding out for patrol, Joel looking over his shoulder at you for a second.

Tommy catches the glance and smirks to himself, shifting in his saddles as he looks ahead. “Good morning?” He asks innocently enough. “You look a little….light on your feet.”

Joel grips the reins a little tighter, “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” He murmurs and Tommy snorts, “you looked like a man who got his world rocked in a stable stall.” Tommy says bluntly and Joel ducks his head, “she, uh, we - it’s just started.” He confesses softly.

“Bullshit.” Tommy shakes his head, wondering how his older brother could be so obtuse about things for a man who can normally figure anyone out. “She’s been chasing after you for weeks.” He looks around after they clear the gate and starts the loop around the town. Today is to find any weakness that needs to be shored up. “Everyone in town knew that she was courting you.”

Joel huffs, shaking his head, “she has just been nice.” He tries to justify how nice you’ve been and Tommy snorts, “more than nice. She’s been wanting to jump your bones.” Joel bites his lip, “I’m too fucking old for her. Or anyone.”

“She doesn’t think so.” He points out with a grin. “Been rootin’ about for information on you. Trying to be real casual about it, but she has it bad for my older brother.” Honestly, Tommy’s glad for it. Since Tess, he’s been all alone and whether or not he admits it, Joel needs someone to take care of. It’s a part of who he is.

Joel’s heart thumps at that revelation and he almost wants to ride back to town and find you. “She will realize who I am soon enough.” He grunts and Tommy rolls his eyes, “whatever you say.”

Joel huffs and falls quiet again. Tommy doesn’t push it, instead he starts talking about the plans they want to implement for defense and Joel gives some suggestions on fortifications.

**** 

Joel arrives back at the stables with Tommy and you’re waiting, eyes lighting up when you see Joel and his stomach twists at how eager you are to see him. The memory of your lips wrapped around his cock hits him and he twitches in his pants. Tommy quickly dismounts, thanking you for helping, and he slaps Joel on the shoulder once his boots hit the ground. “See ya later, man.” He raises his eyebrows at Joel when you’re not looking and Joel huffs when his brother leaves you alone. “You need help?” He offers, not wanting to leave just yet.

“If you want.” They weren’t gone as long as you expected them to be, the horses are not tired. “I’m just going to take the saddles off and brush them down quickly before putting on their blankets and feeding them.” You explain. “Did your patrol go alright? You weren’t out long.”

Joel nods, “it was fine. We found some places that need reinforcement but it was quiet out there.” He admits, “always makes me fucking nervous when it’s quiet.” He confesses, “I always think somethings gonna happen. Like this place is gonna go to shit and I’ll end up back out there.” He jerks his chin as he works on removing the saddle of his horse.

“I worry about that too.” You admit, working on taking the saddle from Tommy’s horse. You know he had wanted to get back to Maria as quickly as possible since she was due any second now. The baby was overdue actually, and everyone was keeping an eye on her. “Raiders worry me the most, honestly. The clickers are bad, but humans are worse.

Joel nods, “we gotta keep this place safe and not get complacent. The day will come where shit hits the fan and we need to be prepared.” He says firmly, working efficiently to get the horse ready after riding. “You still want me to come over later?” He asks, not wanting to assume.

“If you want to.” You don’t want to push him, and you know that he might need to pause or even take a step back. “What do you want to do?” The blanket is secured and you guide Betsy back to her stall before filling her food bucket with oats. “I’m going to let you decide.”

He waits until you are done, striding over to you, and he grips your chin to lift your eyes to his. "I want to come over to your place, strip you down, kiss and bite every inch of your skin, and then I want to fuck you until you soak me and you can't remember anything but my name."

You could melt into a puddle on the floor right now from the possessive look in his eyes and the rough words. They paint the most delicious picture in your mind. “Do you want to eat dinner before or after you fuck me?” You ask breathlessly.

“After.” He says, knowing he won’t be able to wait and watch you eat dinner before he has you. “You’ll need it after I fuck you.” He promises, “go home. I’ll see you at yours in a few hours. I want you naked when I arrive.” He orders, leaning in to softly kiss your lips. Now that you’ve unlocked his desires, he’s going to give you exactly what you want. He pulls back before you can deepen the kiss, a whimper leaning your lips, and he winks, turning to stride out the stables.

Your knees are weak, the man is positively deadly when he decides to become self-assured in his abilities. He doesn’t give you an exact time and you know he did that on purpose. Wanting you to anticipate his arrival. You finish up with the horses and hurry back to your apartment, immediately stripping down to climb into a bath and scrub every inch of your skin. You want everything to go well tonight and you think that it will, given his cocky attitude and that sexy wink.

Joel tries to concentrate for the rest of the day, showering after his patrol, and he groans when he thinks of you on your knees, the way you looked at him. His cock hardens again and he can't help but start to pump his cock. The image of you burned into his retinas and he swears he will remember that until the day he dies. Groaning, he rests his forehead against the cool tile until he grunts your name, hot seed hitting the ceramic minutes later.

****

He adjusts his jacket as he makes his way over to your place. He didn't tell you a time and he hopes you understood why. His cock already hard and adjusted in his jeans as he enters your apartment building. You left the front door unlocked so he opens it, shrugging off his jacket and boots. Letting you know he's arrived and taking his time until he slowly makes his way to your bedroom.

In the bedroom, you are already soaked, naked and spread out on the bed. You had repositioned several times, trying to find the sexiest pose, but ended up on your back. The door is halfway closed so you perk up when it slowly opens. Wondering if Joel will be nude too, or if he will still be dressed.

Joel's cock twitches violently in his pants when he finds you spread out on your bed waiting for him. He stands in the doorway and your eyes meet his. "Good girl." He murmurs, walking over to the foot of the bed, still dressed minus his jacket and boots. Feet bare on the scratched wood floor of your apartment and the bulge in his pants very noticeable.

“Fuck, Imma need you to say like a thousand more times tonight.” You admit, pressing your thighs together before deliberately spreading your legs slightly. His eyes are dark and you would be afraid if it was anger instead of desire in their depths. Your eyes slide down to the front of his jeans and you smirk slightly, proud that you affect him as much as he does you.

"Spread your legs." He orders, voice rough with desire, and you obey. He groans at the sight of your dripping wet folds, curls framing your pretty pussy. He reaches down to squeeze himself through his pants, "beautiful." He murmurs, unable to believe you are letting him touch you. His hand finds your ankle after he kneels on the edge of your bed, caressing the soft skin and sliding along your leg. You whine when his hand brushes over your sex and continues along your stomach until he's squeezing your breast.

You moan softly, pushing your chest up into his hand. Your eyes are fixed on him, waiting to see what he will do. Your chest is already heaving, cunt clenching around nothing as he takes his time. Joel doesn’t just rush into sex he squeezes your breast again and then takes your nipple between his fingers and rolls it just hard enough to make you gasp out his name.

He's already obsessed, loving watching you react to his touch, and he groans when you whimper. "Look at you. So fuckin' needy." He murmurs, switching to pluck your other nipple with his fingers while he shifts his weight onto one elbow so he can take the peaked tip of the breast he abandoned into his mouth.

“Oh god.” You hadn’t expected Joel Miller to be a fucking tease. His mouth is almost playful, tongue flicking over your nipple. He chuckles but you don’t do more than run your fingers through his silver streaked hair.

He groans when you tug on his hair, his cock pressing painfully against the zipper of his pants and he squeezes your tit before he abandons it to slide his hand lower. His fingers brush your soaked folds and he cannot believe you are this wet for him. He groans as he slides his fingers until he finds your clit, rubbing circles while he bites and sucks on your nipple.

“Fuck, Joel,” you whine, pushing your hips down. “Touch me. Fuck, let me- let me touch you.” You beg, needing to see him, touch him. “I want you so much.” You don’t care how pathetic you sound, all you care about is him fucking you.

"So fuckin' desperate." He mocks you softly but his heart is pounding at that fact. He swallows harshly and leans in to kiss your neck before he pulls his hands from your body. You whine but sit up on your elbows to watch him as he starts to unbutton his shirt. He wants to feel every inch of you against him. Shirt shoved from his shoulders and tossed across your room, his hands find his belt, ripping it open and finally he pulls the zipper of his pants down to free his throbbing cock. You moan and he smirks as he shuffles off your bed to shove his pants down. Kicking them off as he kneels on your bed once again. "How do you want me?" He asks, wanting you to decide while his fingers slide up your leg and push into your leaking cunt.

“Fuck.” He’s not lean with the rawness of youth, he’s broad, seasoned. Filled out with years and experience. The scar on his side is the one that you had heard he got between stays in Jackson, when he was taking Ellie on her ill-fated trip. Moaning when he curls his fingers up, you clench down around him. “However I can have you.” You choke out. “I can’t get pregnant.” It’s a reminder of his ability to fill you, to not pull out unless he wants to. “But sometime tonight I want to be bent over and you fucking me from behind.”

Joel groans at your words, ravenous for all of you tonight. He wishes he could fuck you like he was thirty but he's not. He pulls his fingers from your pussy, shifting to kneel between your thighs, and he wraps his wet fingers around his cock. You whine and he shuffles closer, slapping your clit with the head of his cock. "You want me, baby girl?" He asks, voice rough with desire for you.

“Yes.” You whimper, body tightening at his tone, the needy edge to his rough words. He can mock you for being eager, but he is just as bad. You spread your legs wider, hooking them on his hips and reaching down to caress his thigh as he shuffles closer. “I want you, Joel.”

That's all he needs to hear. He positions the head of his cock at your entrance, pushing into you slowly because he's thick and you are so goddamn tight. He groans as your searing hot walls envelop him as he pushes deeper into your pussy. "Fuck." He pants shifting onto his elbows as he hovers over you.

“Oh my god.” You moan, reaching up to caress his shoulders and your hips roll slightly, meeting the angle of his own. “Fuck, you’re so big, so fucking big inside me.” He stretches you, fills up every space inside you until there is nothing that isn’t taken up by him. Lurching up, you press your lips to his, curling your hand around the back of his neck to drag him closer as your tongue slides into his mouth. Taking charge of the kiss for a moment as he groans and twitches inside you.

He lets you take control of the kiss, tongue sliding against yours in a sloppy way that displays the pent up desire that's been building for far too long. "Fuck." He pants when he pulls back, kissing your jaw as he starts to rock his hips, setting a slow and deep pace.

This isn’t making love, there’s not an emotional connection between the two of you, not yet. This is more physical, deeply satisfying as he scratches an itch that you’ve been desperate to satiate for a long time. Sure you probably could have fucked anyone single in Jackson, but this is the man you wanted. “Fuck baby, you’re gonna wreck me, aren’t you?” You ask breathlessly, laughing at the prospect.

He chuckles breathlessly at the prospect and he wants to wreck you. Wants to ruin you for everyone else. His cock pushes deep and he adjusts his knees to push into you from a different angle. “You’re too fuckin’ good for me.”

You moan softly and wrap your legs around his waist. “Didn’t think that when I was sucking you off this morning.” You tease softly, your hand caressing his back as he moves. “Fuck, I thought about how you looked, how you tasted, all fucking day.”

He rocks into you, shifting his weight to one arm so he can slide his hand along your form,  his hand cupping your breast. “Yeah? You liked having my cock in your mouth, baby?” He rasps into your neck, pressing kisses there until he nips at your pulse.

You whine softly. “Yes.” You pant out. “Loved it. You look so goddamn good, did you like it?” Every man likes a blow job, but you want to know if he focused while he was outside the wall, if it helped him.

He nods, “loved it. Fuck, I couldn’t stop thinking about you on your knees for me. Lookin’ at me like that.” He confesses, “I kept thinkin’ about you. I haven’t stopped. Not since I met ya.��� He reveals and leans in to slide his tongue into your mouth.

You groan into his mouth, kissing him back and loving that you’ve managed to get under his skin. Your hips roll up to meet his thrusts and you feel like he’s hitting a little deeper every time. “Fuck.”

He needs you to come apart for him, to prove to you that he doesn’t just cum in his pants like a teenager. He shifts, grabbing your calf to lift it onto his shoulder, “that’s it, baby.” He pants when you cry out his name at the new angle.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” He feels like he’s in your guts from this angle. Deep and his hips snap forward a little harder every time a squeal slips past your lips. “Oh fuck.” You moan again, eyes rolling back and your blunt nails dig into the meat of his shoulder blades as you hang on.

He loves how your nails dig into his back and he pants, “need you cum for me, baby.” He demands, his hand squeezing your thigh as he continues to fuck you hard, needing to feel the way you clamp down on his cock.

His pace is hard, harder than someone half his age. He’s sure of his thrusts, grunting and groaning when you tighten around him. “Joel.” You pant softly. “I need - fuck!” You are so close to cumming. So close to that perfect orgasm that will completely rip you apart, “I-“ your head tilts back and your breath catches right before your entire body tightens, crying out when he pushes deep again and pushes you her the edge.

You stiffen beneath him then shake like you’re experiencing an earthquake. Your eyes squeezed shut as almost inhuman noises escapes your lips. You squeeze his cock hard enough to cut off circulation and soak him but he fucking loves it. “Goddamn baby.” He murmurs, “good girl. Good fucking girl.”

He could call you a good girl for the rest of your life and you will die a happy woman. Body shaking as you ride out the pleasure until you just go boneless under him. “Fuck.” You whimper, kissing along his jaw. “Fuck, you’re amazing, baby. I’ve never cum that hard before.”

His stomach twists with contentment, and his back aches from fucking you so hard. He rolls over, bringing you with him, and you quickly shuffle to kneel, his cock slipping from your pussy. You whine and reach down, gripping him to push him back into your fluttering cunt. “Ride me, girl. Show me what ya got.” He orders, his hands smacking your ass.

He might even look better underneath you. His hands are gripping your hips, encouraging you to move. “Fuck, you feel even bigger.” You praise breathlessly as you start to bounce on his cock. “Joel,” your hands brace on his chest and you swivel your hips slowly.

He watches you with rapture, his hands leaving your ass to slide up your body. His hands find your tits, squeezing them as you ride his cock. “That’s it. Fuck. You look so fucking gorgeous like this.” He rasps, unable to believe such a beautiful woman wants him right now. You’re riding his cock, moaning his name. It makes him dizzy with pleasure.

Bending down, you kiss him, hips still rolling and your walls cinching down around his cock every time you move. You can feel how hard he is, how deep he goes. If you press hard enough on your stomach, you can probably feel him throbbing inside you. “You’re so fucking perfect Miller.” You praise. “Better than my wildest dreams.”

He can’t believe you’re saying this. You are too good for him and yet here you are, praising him, acting like he’s the best man in Jackson, hell, this fucked up world. “You’re so damn good. Fuck, so fucking beautiful.” He praises you, sliding his hands along your spine until he’s squeezing your ass again, helping you rock your hips.

You want to cum again. Addicted to the way his cock presses inside you. You kiss along his neck and his lips again. “I’m going to cum again.” You whimper against his lips. “Fuck, baby. I’m addicted to your cock.”

He pants, loving how your voice has taken on this high pitched gasp with each rock of your hips. “Good girl. Cum for me. Wanna feel it again. Wanna feel you cum for me. Soak my cock. Be my good girl.” He orders, thrusting up into you after planting his feet.

You toss your head back, crying out when he takes over. Panting and squealing every time he rocks his hips up, fingers digging into your waist and holding you in place while he fucks you. “Gonna- gonna cum!” You cry out before your body locks up again. “Joooooooooooellllllllll.” Your scream is so loud, your voice cracks halfway through your wail of pleasure.

He wants the entire fucking town to hear you scream his name. He loves it. He fucking adores it. “Yes. Yes. Fuck!” He growls, rocking his hips up into your pussy, pushing as deep as he can with you squeezing him like a vice. Soaking him. Fuck, he loves it. “That’s it. Fuck. I’m gonna cum. Can I - fuck. Can I - inside?” He wants to make sure it’s okay before he fills you up .

“Yesss.” You moan, not even hesitating. “Fill me up, want to feel you drip out of me.” You might have a little bit of a cum kink but you’ve never been so eager to have a make cum inside you. Before you would have them pull out just in case, but you don’t want Joel to pull out.  “Oh fuck, cum for me baby.” You beg.

He doesn’t remember the last time he came inside a woman. Probably pre outbreak. Too terrified to knock them up but you’ve promised him it’s safe. He grunts, wrapping his arms around you as he thrusts up into you, faster and sloppier than before. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He pants, moaning your name as he thrusts up into you, stiffening beneath you as his cock twitches.

The heat fills you, eyes closed as you moan. You press your face into his neck as he pumps you full of his sticky, hot, seed. It feels so good and you are practically limp by the time he finishes. Apparently Joel Miller has a lot of cum. “That was so good.” You mumble breathlessly, kissing his racing pulse again and again as you calm down. “Oh God, I can’t believe we just did that.” You giggle, completely relaxed and euphoric.

He smiles, probably the only real smile he's expressed since arriving in Jackson. He slides his hand along your spine, letting himself relax into your bed, and he's reminded that he's alive. He isn't fighting to survive right now. He wants to live for the first time since he can remember. "We can do it again." He promises, "you just gotta give me a while. I ain't young."

“You’re gonna wear me out.” You tease, lifting your head and grinning at him before you lean in and press your lips to his softly. “This was perfect.” You murmur. “You want something to drink? Or just lay here for a few minutes?”

Joel closes his eyes, “just lay here for a bit. Been imaginin’ this far too many times to move right now. Just want to savour you. Lemme feel you, baby.” He says, cock softening inside you but he’s in no rush to move.

You hum softly, melting against him. You know Joel can take your weight, he’s strong, so you don’t move off of him. Laying your head back down and your fingers stroking the freckled skin on his shoulder. “Bet you used to work shirtless before Outbreak.” You muse softly. “Building houses and breaking hearts of the women you put a show on for.”

He smirks, loving how you even think about that. “I was thirty-six. Didn’t need to work out when I had my job. I was happy to be shirtless. Now? I’ll keep it on.” He confesses his insecurity. “Had some horny housewives but me and Tommy wanted our business to succeed. A quick fuck and an angry husband wasn’t worth it.”

“Shit.” You huff and turn your head to kiss his chest gently. “You are still sexy, Joel.” You promise. “I’m not the only one that thought you were attractive when you showed up. I’m just the one who decided to try to jump in your bed.”

Joel smiles, kissing your hair, "I'm glad you didn't give up on me. I don't - I don't think I deserve anything good after all the shit I've done. I'm not a good man but you - you seem to see something in me and I ain't gonna take that for granted so whenever you want me in your bed, in your life...I am here."

You chuckle softly. “Oh, you shouldn’t have said that, Miller.” You warn playfully. “You won’t remember what your bed feels like if I have you in my bed whenever I want.”

****

Joel sighs as you sit at his kitchen table, your half eaten food in front of you as you tap your fingers. Things were going great. Better than great. You saw each other every day. Attended town events together. Everyone knew you were seeing each other but you are currently sitting at his table with a pissed off expression on your face. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” He asks, needing to hear you say it.

“It’s not gonna change anything.” You admit, poking at your food and not meeting his eyes. Things have been good, but it seems like you’ve been in some kind of holding pattern. Maria had come to you today and asked about vacating your apartment. You spent a lot of time at Joel’s, enough that the council noticed and if you weren’t sleeping in your bed, they could give it to one of the numerous refugees that continue to come into Jackson.

Joel sighs, knowing that arguing won't make it any better but he needs you to understand his reasoning. "I can't - it's, uh, I haven't lived with a woman like that - like an actual relationship - for over twenty years. I don't want to ruin what we have because I leave the toilet seat up or I breathe the wrong way. What we have can quickly go to shit and I...I don't wanna lose you." He admits softly, tracing the lines in the wooden table so he doesn't look at you. He had Tess, but you want more, you want a connection. Something that he had resisted with Tess, giving her all of him. Something that he doesn’t think he could do with you. 

“Maria asked me if there was any way I could let another family have my apartment.” You kind of feel like she’s pressing the issue to make Joel make a decision. “But I’m just going to tell her that’s not possible.” You stand up and pick up your plate to clean up.

Joel sighs, standing up to stand behind you. His arms caging you in against the sink and he leans in to softly kiss the nape of your neck. "I want you in my bed every night, I want to wake up holding you. Knowing you're mine. I hate you leavin'." He confesses, "I want you here...just promise me you'll talk to me if you aren't happy. I can't lose you too."

“I don’t want to push you.” You promise, feeling guilty for being upset at him. You twist around to face him and wrap your arms around his neck. “I’m happiest when I’m with you, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I just-“ you swallow. “We don’t know when the fuck our last day will be and I’d rather spend the rest of them loving you than anything else.”

Joel rubs circles on your hips, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours. “I know baby, I know. I- I want you here. I do. Will you- can you move in with me?” He asks, needing you to be by his side.

“Are you sure?” You ask seriously. “I can tell Maria to fuck off.” You bite your lip. “I swear this is her telling you to get your ass in gear. Either build faster or make a move with me. I’m not entirely sure which.”

Joel cups your cheek, “I’m sure. I want you here.” He promises, “let’s go get your things today.” He knows you’ll leave the furniture in the apartment so you need your clothes and personal items.

You nod, his hand still cupping your cheek. “If you get annoyed with me, you let me know.” You murmur. “I can spend extra time in the stables.”

He chuckles, nudging his nose against yours, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “As long as you come home to ride me.” He smirks, his hand sliding down your form until he’s squeezing your breast. “Now, that I can do.” You promise breathlessly and Joel smirks, “better get started then.” He takes your hand, guiding you to his bedroom…soon to become your bedroom too.

****

“Dina’s probably a better patrol partner.” You tease Joel, winking over at the younger girl. “She’s awake.” You know Joel would have liked to go on patrol with Ellie, but he had told them to let her sleep and told Dina to come with you and him. Dina snorts and shrugs. “That’s a positive.” She agrees. You clear your throat as you guide your horse along. “Before we go up to the mines, let’s swing through the company buildings.” You suggest. “There’s some Vaseline in one of the shops. Need some for the horses.”

Joel adjusts his grip on the reins, nodding in agreement. It’s early, the air heavy with a storm, and Joel exhales in a cloud of air that appears in the frigid weather. “Let’s go now. We might need to head back. Storms comin’ in.” Joel observes the heavy clouds gathering.

It’s been four years since you moved in with Joel and Ellie. Four years of falling deeper in love with him and creating a beautiful family out of those that remain. Joel’s nephew is precious and you love spending time with him, easing the ache of not having a child of your own. It’s quiet evenings reading while Joel whittles at the desk in the bedroom. Soft, slow love making when both of you are sore or just need a softer touch of reassurance. It’s been healing for both of you and you trust Joel explicitly, that’s why keeping whatever illness has been nagging you from him has you so uneasy. He would worry, incessantly so, and you don’t want him to do that when it’s probably just a lingering bout of flu that had gone through Jackson a few weeks ago. “Then let’s make this quick.”

Joel watches you as you ride a little ahead with Dina. He’s worried about you. You’ve been trying to hide it but he’s heard you throwing you in the early hours, the exhaustion that seems to seep into your bones when you think no one is looking. He’s worried about you and he decides that later, he will take you to the doctor. He glances around the town, making sure there’s no threats until he nods at you and Dina. “Don’t be long.” He orders, deciding to stay outside to keep watch.

“Call out.” You remind the younger girl, your gun in your hand as you make your way to the pharmacy. You know the will be occupied by the items left behind, the little store hasn’t been ravaged completely, which is why you wanted to stop. It’s a stupid idea, completely stupid, but you need to know. Making your way inside, you stop inside the door, listening for the sounds of infected. Just because the little mine town had been cleared doesn’t mean some might not have wandered in. After a moment you relax, looking around with your flashlight as Dina rushes towards some hair bands than are still hanging up. “We don’t need to be long.” You remind her.

Joel glances around, keeping watch, and he’s reminded of patrols he took with Ellie not long after returning to Jackson. The memories of teaching her to play guitar, helping her work on her aim, even helping her decorate her room. He’s happy you’re in the house, a buffer to help him communicate with a moody teenager who now hates his guts. He never got to that stage with Sarah. She didn’t get to experience the “I hate my dad” stage. Swallowing harshly, he decides to talk to you about how he can reconnect with Ellie.

You stare at the boxes for a moment, wondering what the hell you are doing before you grab several of them. “Fuck it.” You hiss, ripping one open right there in the middle of the store. “Gotta know. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s negative?”

Joel looks up as Dina comes back outside, her backpack full of stuff, and he says your name. Dina looks back at the store. “She said she had to pee.” Dina shrugs and Joel nods, still worried about you but he tries to not hover too much.

You shove them in your pocket, knowing that it will take longer for them to give you an answer than Joel will let you stay here without coming to check on you. You grab the Vaseline and the antibiotic creams that you had actually come for and head back outside. “Sorry.” You chuckle. “Coffee.”

Joel watches you as you get back on your horse and he frowns, noticing the way you frown. You look nauseous. Snow starts to fall and Joel frowns, looking up at the sky. “Let’s head out. We haven’t got a lot of time.”

“Okay.” You are nervous, even though you know that the test will come back negative. Even if you show all the signs for the first time ever, you can’t possibly be pregnant. “It’s getting colder.”

Joel leads the way, worried about you and Dina, and his radio crackles, telling everyone to come back to Jackson or take shelter. “Let’s go.” Joel orders over his shoulder, guiding you and Dina through the town until you come across the empty factory. “Let’s get in here until the storm passes.” He orders, pointing at the doors.

You lead the horses inside and shiver slightly. “Jesus. It’s really starting to come down out there.” You whisper, getting worried about what will happen. “Maybe we should go back to one of the smaller buildings.” You could find a stove and build a fire because it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.

Joel nods, “lemme go check. Stay here.” He orders, pulling his gun from his holster and he nods at Dina who stays on her horse in case something happens. Joel makes his way through the factory to the outside and that’s when he hears the infected. His heart pounds at the sound just as he sees a girl under a clicker. He doesn’t think as he pulls the trigger and he grabs the girl. “Are you bit?” He demands, dragging her through the yard until he’s storming into the factory. “We gotta go!” He shouts, the girl running behind him.

You don’t know what the fuck is happening, one second everything is quiet and the next there is a gunshot and Joel is running back into the building with a strange girl. “Joel?” The sound of infected gets louder and your blood chills, the test in your hand shoved back into your pocket. “Joel!”

“We gotta go!” He orders, heart pounding at the thought of you and Dina being in danger. “You okay, kid?” He asks the young girl who nods and Joel grabs her hand and pushes her up onto the horse. Within moments, the doors burst open and Joel shouts for you to ride.

“Shit!” There’s a fucking horde on your heels, the horses racing as fast as they can, but you aren’t gaining much ground between you and the group of infected that what to tear you apart. “We have to hurry!” You shout, looking over your shoulder at the wave of danger that is creeping closer.

Joel stops for a moment, glancing over his shoulder, and he sees the smoke coming from Jackson. “We gotta go back.” He shouts, ice forming on his facial hair. “There’s no time.” The girl declares, “there’s a lodge. My friends are there.” Joel nods, “are they armed?” He asks and she nods. “Good. We will head there, get prepared, and head to Jackson to help.” He orders, riding up the mountain in the blizzard in the direction the girl points.

You don’t like this. Don’t trust it, although you don’t have much of a choice. Why were these people up on the mountain in the lodge? You don’t have time to question it, the temperature is well below zero and you’re in danger of hypothermia and frostbite if you stay out here.

You soon find the lodge and Dina is shaking uncontrollably as you enter the property. The wind chill is gone once the door is shut and Joel shrugs off his coat and rushes over to you. “Are you okay?” He asks, rubbing your arms after your coat is off.

“J-just c-cold.” You promise, teeth chattering and you barely listen as the girl starts introducing herself. “We- we have to get home.” You tell Joel, not paying her any attention. “The town…” through the window you can see the fires burning and you can’t imagine what is happening down there.

Joel squeezes your shoulders, turning to look at the town. He grips the walkie talkie in his hand. “Jackson. Come in. Jackson.” He growls into the radio and that’s when one of the women grabs Dina and a man grabs you. He immediately reaches for his gun but guns are pressed to your foreheads.

“Joel.” You freeze, breathing shallow. “Shut up!” The man who is holding you hisses, shaking you slightly and you see Joel flinch as he thinks about attacking him. “We don’t have anything.” You promise him. “Just take whatever you want.”

Joel places his gun on the floor, raising his hands, and his heart is pounding. The girl he rescued asks him what they look like and Joel’s eyes flick from you to Dina and back to the girl. “Military.” He says, brow furrowing, “fireflies.”

The medic puts Dina to sleep and approaches you with a needle. “No.” You struggle against the man’s grip, the barrel of the gun pressing into your temple. “You can’t give me that, you can’t give me that!” You shout, terrified that whatever they might give you could hurt the baby. The girl, Abby, snorts. “Scared of needles?” She huffs. “Nooooo!” You squirm away from the needle again. “I’m pregnant!”

Joel feels like he’s been punched in the gut. His eyes widen and they meet yours, seeing the fear in your eyes. There’s nothing he can do. They outnumber him and he doesn’t have his gun. “Leave her alone!” He shouts, his voice desperate as he sees you struggle and he knows you’re telling the truth.

“You’re lying.” Abby spits, but you shake your head. “My jacket pocket.” You stammer. “I took the tests this morning. Please- we didn’t do anything to you. Let us go.”

Abby reaches into your pocket, taking out the tests and Joel feels sick. His eyes flick around the room, desperate to find a way out of this situation. To keep you and Dina safe. He wants to squeeze his eyes shut and pretend this is all a nightmare. Abby eyes the tests and the medic of the group looks over her shoulder. “Two lines. She’s pregnant.” Joel’s nostrils flare and tears sting in his eyes when your terrified eyes meet his. “It’s okay, baby.” He tries to reassure you, “it’s okay.”

It’s not hard to figure out who’s baby you are carrying and there’s a grim smile of satisfaction on the girl’s face as she looks from you to him. “He’s a little old to be a daddy.” She chuckles dryly, waving the test around. “But he’s handsome, so good for you.”

Joel’s hands shake a little but he steels himself, jaw clenched as he watches Abby pick up a shotgun. For a moment, he’s worried she’s going to spin around and shoot you but within a blink of an eye, he’s screaming as he lays on the floor. His knee is blown out, and he chokes at the agony that washes over him.

“Joel!” You twist out of the man’s grip and rush over to Joel. “Fuck.” You hiss, seeing how bad the injury is although he’s clamped his lips together to keep from making too much noise. “It’s okay, baby.” Your fingers tremble as you rip at your belt to take it off and use it as a tourniquet. “It’s okay.”

Joel knows he’s going to be killed. The look on the girl’s face. He knows and the worst part is he’s not scared of death but he’s terrified of leaving you alone. Of leaving you pregnant with his child. He wants to fight but that would only get you and Dina killed alongside him. “I love you.” He murmurs, reaching up with a shaking hand to caress your cheek. “Okay. That’s enough.” Abby declares and the man grabs you again, dragging you away, and you start to sob. “Please. Please just let us go. We haven’t done anything.” You beg but Abby chuckles as she kneels down next to your lover. “You haven’t.” She says as she looks at you, “but your boyfriend here has.” She begins her speech about her father and how she was taught to fight with morals. Joel doesn’t listen, his eyes fixed on you as you cry for him.

“Oh, just shut the fuck up and do it already.” Joel snaps, tired of hearing her bitch about how unfair it was that he killed her father. He doesn’t want you to watch, but this bitch apparently wants you to suffer. You choke out a sob when Abby picks up the golf club and comes towards him. “Please, don’t.” You beg softly.

Joel knows she’s going to beat him to death and he hates that this will be your last memory of him. “Close your eyes.” He orders, “close your eyes!” He shouts when you continue to stare and within seconds you squeeze your eyes shut. Abby smirks as she swings the club, hitting him in the head, and he tries to smother his scream but the pain is too intense. The club comes down over and over again on his body until he’s laying in a pool of his own blood. His mind is cloudy with pain but he prays you’ve kept your eyes shut.

You don’t keep your eyes closed. Weeping as you watch Joel absorb hit after hit, the golf club snapping in two and Abby switching to punching Joel in the face. The man still has you tight in his grip, and you resent it, unable to help him. “Please.” You whimper through the tears. “He- he’s not that man anymore.” You try to reason with her. “He’s a good man. He saved people, he has saved so many lives. He saved your life.”

Joel can hear you pleading for him, for her to stop, but it sounds like he’s underwater. His body is numb, and he can feel himself drifting, losing the life in his body. When he hears a scream, his heart stops. Ellie. She’s here.

“Stop!” Ellie is wrestled to the ground and you struggle when you see her, trying to break loose again, but he cocks the hammer back on his gun. “I don’t want to kill you.” He hisses quietly, making you sob. “Please stop.” You beg Abby again. “You- you made your point.”

Abby’s chest heaves and the one holding the gun says, “end it. End it now.” Ellie is screaming at Joel to get up. He hears her begging and he wants to stand, wants to fight now that ve knows you’re carrying his child but all he can do is twitch his fingers. Abby picks up the broken club, walking towards Joel. “No. No. No. Nooooo.” You wail and Ellie screams just as Abby stabs the stick into his neck.

Your visions blurs, narrowing until everything goes dark and you crumple in the arms of the guy who had been holding you. “Gonna kill her too.” Abby smirks as she walks towards where he is crouched over you, putting you down on the floor. “No.” He shakes his head. “That’s not what we signed up for.”

“She’s pregnant.” One of the women protests and Ellie is shaking, “I’m going to fucking kill you.” She promises with a yell and Abby doesn’t care. “Fine. She lives.” Abby decides as the group gathers their things, leaving the lodge.

You don’t come up until Jesse is kneeling down beside you, checking you. Gasping as you open your eyes and the first thing you see is Joel and Ellie. The young girl laying on top of him, sobbing hysterically and you know that he’s gone. You can’t stand, your entire body aching with sorrow, but you crawl over to them, covering her and him with your own body as you cry. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Ellie.” You know they have been estranged, you’ve lived through the tense silence and the battle of wills. Now, there is no hope for reconciliation.

Ellie is numb as Jesse gets her and Dina up on a horse. He wraps Joel’s body up to take it back to Jackson and tears stream endlessly down your cheeks. No one says a word as you ride back to Jackson. How the tables have turned…Joel is now cargo.

****

Your eyes are red rimmed and burning, but not from the fires that still burn in Jackson. The orange glow flickers through the windows and gives an unnatural light to the darkness. The silence in the room is filled with sorrow, you’re the only one here that isn’t stretched out on a table, covered with a sheet. “I’m so sorry, baby.” You whisper, looking down into the bucket to grab the rag and squeeze the excess water. You had insisted that you be the one to do this. Ellie can’t. She’s in the hospital, the parting gift of a kick to the stomach from the group that had killed Joel had punctured a lung. Sedated, and quite frankly, not up to doing this task. You reach for his hand and wipe some of the blood off it gently, as if you are afraid to hurt him. “I didn’t know I could get pregnant.” You promise him. “I didn’t lie, baby, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Tommy walks into the makeshift morgue, finding you with Joel. Where you've been since returning to Jackson. "Sweetheart, you need to sleep." He says softly, "you need to eat something. Not just for you, but for the baby. You know he'd be reprimandin' you for not takin' care of yourself."

Your lips stretch slightly as you look up at him for a moment. Reaching up to touch his hand as it rests on your shoulder. Tommy is a good man, one that you have spent a lot of time with over the past four years since moving in with Joel. “He knew.” You tell him, aware that Jesse has told Tommy and Maria about your condition when you got back to Jackson. “I told him- before he-“ you pause, blinking back new tears. “Hopefully he didn’t hate me for it.”

Tommy shakes his head, “he never would’ve hated you. He loved you. Never thought I’d see him be in love again but you made him so happy. If anything, if I know my brother, he hated leavin’ you pregnant without him.” Tommy sighs, “but you have us. Me and Maria and - and Ellie. She had to be sedated again but she will wake up soon.”

Your chin wobbles slightly. “He’s with Sarah now.” You murmur, standing as you put the rag down on the table beside Joel’s body. “I’ll give you a minute with him.” You know that Tommy’s bond with Joel ran deep and he will miss his older brother. You stop for a moment. “I hate them.” You tell him quietly. “I want them all to die. Every single one of them. As painfully as possible.”

Tommy nods, knowing how you feel, and he wants that too but he has to think about everyone in Jackson and not just his feelings and desire for revenge. “Go get something to eat.” He reminds you, squeezing your hand, and you nod, making your way out of the room with tears in your eyes.

****

You aren’t dumb, you know Ellie is leaving tonight. Dina just left and you stroke your growing stomach as you reach for the box that you have kept. There’s an air of discontent in town, a grumbling under the normally positive sounds of rebuilding. Even though the council had voted, more people than you imagined had spoken to you about their sorrow for Joel’s passing. You knew that it had been a long shot, but you had hoped that they would feel your need for vengeance. Walking out to the garage, you tap on the door quietly. “Ellie, it’s me. Open the door.”

Ellie's eyes widen but she knows that she can't hide from you. She sighs, opening the door to the garage, "you can't stop me and I don't need a lecture." She spits out before you can say a word but she watches your eyes trail over the guns and ammo spread out over the floor.

You whistle, taking it all in before you look at her again. Her jaw is set, stubborn. So much more like Joel than she would probably ever admit. “You’re missing something.” You tell her, making her immediately frown and look around. “What? What am I missing?” She demands, making you smile as you hold out the box in your hand. “This.” You tell her. “You kill that bitch with this.”

Ellie opens the box, eyes widening at the sight of Joel's gun. She swallows, lifting her gaze to yours, and she nods. "I'm gonna kill her. For us." She promises, her hand softly landing on your bump. "Dina is coming with me." She confesses and you smile, having seen what neither of them have realized yet a long time ago. "Good. You will come back...you gotta meet your sibling." You say, placing your hand over hers. She nods, "I'll be back. Gotta see if the baby looks like you or if they are unlucky, Joel." She teases, offering you a soft smile.

“I’m going to stay here.” You promise her. “This house will always be your home. You will always have space here.” You haven’t been able to get rid of anything of Joel’s, even his woodworking projects look like he will walk in at any moment and pick them back up. It’s been three months since that horrible day and you still dream about it. You don’t know if you will ever not; but you’ve taken care of yourself. For Joel and the baby. Because he wouldn’t want you to just curl up and waste away. Even Gail had offered her services to you, none of usual bitter sarcasm in her words. “Always.” 

Ellie smiles at you and sets the gun down on her desk before she wraps her arms around you, gentle to be mindful of your bump. "He really loved you, ya know?" She murmurs, "so do I. You're like the mom I never had." She confesses, "I'll be back. I am gonna kill that bitch and those assholes and I'll be back." She promises softly.

You hug her and press a kiss to the top of her head. “He loved you too.” Ellie had finally told you why her and Joel had been estranged at the end. You had understood both positions and why they had been at odds. “With every fiber of his being.” You pull back and look at her. “He would be proud of you.”

Ellie nods and steps back when you say, "be safe, El." You order and she snorts, "always am." You playfully roll your eyes and rub your bump. "I'll see you when you return." You promise and Ellie nods, watching you go. She's leaving at three and you'll be asleep by then but she will come back and tell you she got revenge for all of you.

**** 

“Oh, you are hungry, aren’t you?“ You coo, looking down at the baby that is greedily gulping down milk at your breast. “That’s it, baby boy, you eat.” Your son, named after your lover, was born just a month ago. Healthy and perfect, you wish that Joel was here to see him. “You want to see your daddy?”

You carry the baby over to the only photo you have of Joel. A Polaroid he took with Ellie, and you pick the frame up to show your son. “There’s your daddy. He’s watching over you, you know? From heaven. He never thought he’d end up there but I just know he is. He was a good man who did bad things because he had. He’s up there now, watching over us.” You murmur and the baby coos after pulling away from your nipple, eyes unfocused as you hold the frame towards his face. “I’ll see him again one day. When I’m older and you can survive in this world without me. You’ll be a fighter, just like your daddy. Another Joel Miller for the world to see.” You coo and the baby closes his eyes as he falls asleep in your arms. You set the frame down and cradle him, cooing softly, unaware that Joel is watching you, Sarah standing beside him, while they oversee the ones they left behind.

[omgfangirlland]

I random Idea suddenly appeared in my head (I was about to sleep but this is more important). Originally I had two Ideas but I thought.. Why not combine them? My first idea was a neglected reader who can see ghost.. Like, one day she just developed this abilities. Imagine how it would go if Thomas Wayne and Martha Wayne were still in the mansion and looking after the batfam. They can see how Bruce Wayne is threatening his daughter and stuff.

The second Idea was a more realistic neglected reader where she's really neglected and I don't mean birthday is being forgotten or what not.. I mean real neglect where she had to work for money and her own food.. Where she has to learn how to cook for herself and learn how to do things at the very young age. I want to see her actual struggle for survival where there are times she barely makes money so she had to go hungry for some days.. Sometimes she resorts to stealing foods just to eat.

I wanted to combine these two but I'm too sleepy to continue two peace out ✌👉

-🔱

The sudden burst of creativity right as you get in bed is such a serious problem- like pls- I had like 10-12 hours where I could have done all of that- why at 3am?😭😭

When I first read this, it was way so late, and I was like "cooking her own food and working isn't neglect-" and then I realized I am in fact poor, and due to the necessity of my parents needing me to be somewhat independent my view of that point is skewed- also the reader is going to be quite young at the start of being in the family so really, a five or 10 year old shouldn't be operating the stove without supervision or finding jobs to pay for necessities-

Reader is the oldest sibling(I love the forgotten oldest daughter trope) in this for various reasons(angst) and I am so keeping ghost!Thomas and Martha btw-

CW - postpartum mental breakdown/psychosis turned into attempted infanticide via drowning, miscarriage/suicide/drugs mentioned.

My thoughts on how this MC came into Bruce's care come down to three options: Bruce and her mom were actually lovers and married, but after Reader's birth mama either left, had a postpartum breakdown, and is now rotting in Arkham, or she died. I personally prefer the Arkham route, but dying during childbirth is also quite angst filling. (Let's all ignore how I keep fridging Reader's mom, pls)

----

Martha and Thomas were by your mother's side as soon as she walked in with you in her arms, Martha almost crying at the sight of your scrunched up face, still wrinkly and flushed. They were both so happy when Bruce found love, both were so sure he'd die alone in some alley, and when the news of the pregnancy came, they were right there, celebrating with their son as if they were still alive.

But Bruce got busy, too busy with both Wayne Enterprises and being Batman. And while your mom had her friend and Alfred, she needed the reassurance of her husband. Martha was the first to notice the cracks.

They both noticed how you'd look at them as if they were right there, so they'd interact with you. Playing with you, making sure you wouldn't bump into anything when you started crawling five months later- but while Thomas would teasingly crawl after you, Martha couldn't help but keep close to her son's wife.

She tried her best to soothe her, trying to give her some warmth from beyond the veil. She knew what was happening- well... to some degree. Martha, too, went through post-partum depression, however, hers stemmed from losing Bruce's unborn brother. Martha hoped to be there for her daughter-in-law before she tried something she'd regret- The dead woman thought your mom would put herself at risk, try to take herself out. She feels guilty that she hadn't seen it earlier.

Your mom would sometimes stare at you for hours, and while it worried Alfred, he brushed it off as the woman simply admiring the bundle of joy she created. He, like Bruce, had other things to attend to. He was sure everything was fine, your mother simply loved you too much.

None of the living expected what happened, mainly because of their own willingness to ignore the clear changes, but Martha and Thomas did. They stuck around even after nightfall, so when at three in the morning your mom walked in and took you out of your cradle, they were hot on her trail.

Obsessive thoughts about your baby, paranoia, sleep problems, hallucinations, and delusions were all symptoms of postpartum psychosis, easily confused with the similar symptoms of postpartum depression.

It'll be easy that everything went to shit quickly- but it didn't. Martha and Thomas watched with pure confusion as your mom filled the bathtub, the thought that she may harm you not even crossing their mind as she held you close, swaying side to side while humming some lullaby. It was a slow build, but when she did submerge your head under the water and firmly held you there, it sure felt like a hundred years passed right through Martha.

She doesn't know how she did it, but Martha was screaming her lungs out as she and her husband pushed the woman away, making her slump against the opposite wall, but neither could pull the plug out, leaving you fighting to keep your head above the water.

Alfred ran as soon as he heard the yelling, a chill passing through him for a moment as he thinks it sounds way too familiar, and your wailing, pausing just for a second to look at your mom, shaking in the corner as she mutters to herself, before he had you in a tower in his arms. Both of the dead Waynes dropped next to the bathtub, clutching at their unbeating hearts and shaking

Bruce is left depressed, traumatized, and with a baby who keeps crying. This wasn't how it was supposed to go in his mind. They were supposed to be happy, the it couple with a sassy baby to boot, they were supposed to grow old, he was supposed to hand over the Batman mantle to you.

Now the responsibility of caring for you fell on Alfred, Bruce being unable to care for himself, let alone a baby he couldn't look at without bursting into tears. And Alfred did his best... for maybe three years.

As soon as you started walking on your own, Alfred started pulling away, redirecting his attention to his usual work. By the time you were three years old, you barely knew of the existence of Bruce. Not because you actually saw the man, but because his parents tried to tell you about him.

You were a quiet toddler, mainly due to learning that if you cried, only Martha and Thomas would show up, and they really couldn't do much. Hell, they barely taught you to speak, but oh, did they love to hear your little transatlantic accent in the few sentences you could make.

They were indulging themselves, really, especially when you'd call the mama and papa- "No, MArtha! I'm not crying, you are, my dear-" They both were tearing up the first time it happened. They were indulging themselves with you, because if their focus wasn't on you, it would be on Bruce, and both were so disappointed in him.

They tried at first, exhausted themselves trying over and over again to nudge their boy towards his daughter- typing on his laptop, writing in the mirror, leaving her toys where he'll find them- nothing worked.

So they redirected their attention to your education- they were terrible at it, but Alfred sure as hell didn't seem to care- so they did their best. You could read perfectly, however, your writing isn't the best, and your speech was stuttered most of the time as you preferred to be mute. There really wasn't anyone to force you to speak, your father's parents unable to get much out of you, especially if they pushed. Teaching you sign language was the best course of action.

For the early part of your life, Alfred still cooked enough to leave leftovers for you to munch on, but sometime along the way, he stopped. Martha and Thomas were stumped. They were raised with buffets and golden spoons glistening in foods they didn't even think about how they were being made.

There was also the problem of you being too short to reach the stove top. Your newfound diet consisted of toast, sandwiches, salads, and the occasional baked potatoes and meat. As you grew older, you got better at cooking, mainly due to sneakingly searching the internet and quickly writing down recipes.

Sadly, the problems keep piling up. The more you grew, the more you needed new clothes, new shoes, sanitary stuff from pads to toothpaste- Bruce couldn't be bothered to be a presence in your life, so you tried to talk to Alfred. With no avail. The old butler was simply too busy, moving past you with more speed than you could keep up with. But you needed money, so despite Martha's protest and Thomas's worry, you went outside the manor.

At first, you did meager jobs that people gave you out of pity. Washing that, trimming the lawn, throwing away this, helping the old lady with carrying bags. It didn't pay well, honestly, it was mostly trading, some clothes or food for a bit of help. Until a goon of the Penguin stopped you.

You weren't stupid. You knew the package was drugs, but the amount he was willing to pay was simply too much to refuse. You guessed that was the perk of the public thinking you were dead, no fear of being kidnapped for ransom.

You became a familiar face among them, and while most were ticked off by a kid being involved, there were a few who threw in a few extra bucks. Martha and Thomas hated it. But you started having clothes that fit, food that wasn't burned, and even had a few extra to buy yourself treats, so they held their lips shut. You usually just put the extra money away.

By the time you turned thirteen, you just wrote Bruce off as a man incapable of love. But then Richard "Dick" Grayson came along. And then Jason. And Tim. Despite Martha and Thomas trying to tell you that it wasn't you, that they loved you- Bruce was just-... They couldn't justify it.

The more time passed, the more you thought those two were hallucinations your mind made up to stop you from going insane. You stopped talking to them. You stopped even acknowledging them. By the time Tim fully settled in, you had left.

There was nothing for you there, you took care of yourself for so long, you didn't need Alfred or Bruce- no matter how much you cried at night, wishing for an ounce of the attention they give the boys- and threw yourself into the crime world. There wasn't anything else you could do. You had no school, could barely write, let alone speak- but you were a good mule, and if someone picked you up and decided to train you to be a weapon, you were fine with that.

When John Constantine first set foot in Wayne Manor, the first thing he saw was the bat's dead parents glaring at him. He expected a lot of things when Bruce called him in need of help, angry grandparents who were worried for a runaway granddaughter, who had been missing for years, and that Bruce forgot even existed, wasn't one of them.

----

This took quite a lot of hours to write- kinda rushed towards the end.

Other thoughts:

If Reader did get picked up by a rogue, it'll be funny for them to be either Uncle Two-Face or Slade... It'll even be funny if it were Talia or Ra's after Jason left.

I strongly believe the Reader wasn't even sent to kindergarten.

I also think Martha and Thomas may have lied and told the MC that her mom is dead instead of institutionalized.

If there is supernatural shit, trust, John Constantine will make an appearance.

It'll ALSO be funny if Reader came to terms with her being able to see the undead, so she also becomes a mage/hunter on the side, kinda like the Winchesters. So when John finally connects the dots, he's just like- "Oh. Oh no. We have a bigger problem here."

Dick at first thought Batsis was a helper. So did the others until they were corrected by Alfred. Nobody cared to ask for further info, except for maybe Jason, who asked once why she isn't eating with the family, and it made Alfred pause for so long that Jay just assumed she's mean.

[c4tluver02]

after work date

wc: 1.6k

summary: You go into Family Video for a new movie but leave having plans with Steve. <3

warnings: none! sooo flufffyyyy

Walking into Family Video you are immediately greeted by Steve. He’s sporting his green vest and a big smile that shows every time you open the doors. You want to watch Top Gun, unable to see it when it was out in theaters and you were told that the movie just made it to stores. And thankfully you just started dating a boy who happens to give you free movies. Not that you were dating him for the free movies, but of course it didn't hurt. 

“Hey honey!” Steve says, walking around the counter. “Didn’t know you were stopping by.” 

You give him a hug and he presses a kiss to your temple. 

“I wanted to ask if I could borrow Top Gun?” You look really pretty right now and it’s all Steve could think about. 

“Uh- I don’t know if we have anymore, three people have already come in to get a copy.” You can tell by the way he says it he's cursing himself for not magically knowing you’d want to see it. 

“Oh, that's okay I guess I should have known people would want it.” You say, unable to help the pout that comes to your face. 

“I wish you’d told me earlier I would have totally hid a copy for you.” He says matching your frown. 

“I know I’m sorry.” 

“Nothing to be sorry about, let's look just to make sure. Robin put them away so I don't exactly know how many we got.” He grabs your hand so that you’re following him. He hopes they have another copy.

Standing on your tippy toes you try to look at the top shelf with Steve where the movie would seemingly be. But unfortunately you aren't that lucky. 

“‘M sorry baby.” He’s being all too serious about it, it’s just a movie and it will come back but the patients you had to wait for it are wearing thin. 

Just as he says it Robin steps out from the back and Steve decides to ask her. It’s his last idea to get you what you want, and isn't that boyfriend duty #1? 

“Rob, do you know if we have any more Top Gun?” He asks as you stand behind him looking at the movies, you'd at least like to leave with one movie. 

“Why? Did you already promise it to someone?” She says, rolling her eyes. Knowing him he probably did.  “I took a copy and i'm watching it tonight, whoever needs it will have to fight me tooth and nail!”  

Steve lets out a sigh and smiles. You won't have it tonight but at least you’ll have it tomorrow, he’ll take that as a win. But as you poke out behind him Robin lets out a gasp, she didn't see you and the last person who deserves her wrath is you. 

“It’s ok Robin I won't fight you tooth and nail.” You say with the prettiest smile. You aren’t as close with Steve's friends, only just started dating but Robin does like you. She thinks you're good for Steve

Robin lets out a laugh. “But like I said I’ll watch it tonight so if you wanna come back tomorrow it’ll be all yours. Promise.” 

“Okay, yeah I can come back. Thank you.” 

She nods at you and goes to the other side of the store with a cart full of movies. As she does this Steve grabs onto your wrist and pulls you into a corner, one that blocks Robin from seeing you two. 

“Sorry, it’s just that if Robin sees me not working she’ll throw a movie at me.” 

The laugh you let out makes Steve's heart ache. He is so glad you came in today. 

“So tomorrow I get off at 5 so I was thinking you could, maybe, come in around that time and then we could go get something to eat and then watch the movie together?” How he came up with this whole plan between the time Robin said to come back to now surprises you, but also makes your cheeks heat up. 

“Yeah, that would be nice.” You want to kiss him so bad but you’re at that awkward stage that you could count on one hand how many times you've kissed him and it builds pressure. 

“Okay I’m excited.” Steve says happily as he plays with the rings on your fingers. 

“What do you think we do for dinner?” You ask, trying to distract your brain from how close he is to you. His hands are so warm and he smells really good. 

“Oh, good question, maybe pizza?” He’s now looking at you to see how you respond. When your nose scrunches he’s got his answer before you even put it into words. 

“We just had that this weekend.” This weekend you and the kids had a small pool party at Steves and the big meal was pizza. 

“You’re right, I forgot about that. Okay what are you thinking? Did you want to go out?” His thumbs are so soft as they rub against your knuckles. 

“I don't care we could cook something? Maybe spaghetti, I feel like that can be good.” You and Steve haven't cooked anything together, there's so many firsts between you two it makes you giddy. 

“It does sound good, you're right.” That's the second time he's said it but you’re always right. “I am not gonna lie to you though I am not the greatest cook.” He winces a little, hoping it doesn't put a dam on your plans. 

“That’s okay, what can you cook?” 

“Hmm like five things but I make pretty stellar pancakes, at least that's what the kids said.” 

“Perfect, we can have breakfast for dinner then. Do I need to go to the store to get anything for it?” If you were both in the privacy of his home he would dig his face into your neck and let out a groan. How could you change what you wanted just for his sake and then offer to buy him groceries. Your kindness is something Steve wants to absorb. 

“We really don’t have to change it honey. Whatever you want we can make that.” He’ll get back to the groceries later because you buying anything is a whole conversation in itself. 

“It’s really ok Steve, pancakes sound good and if they are so famous I need to know what the hype is about.” You say as you push yourself off the wall you were leaning on to wrap your arms around his neck.  Automatically his hands land on your hips. 

“You’re too good for me.” He lets his hands drag away from your hips to settle in the back pockets of your pants. 

Your small grin turns into a big smile at the action, he’s never done that but you hope he never stops. All this touching he’s doing makes you officially break, leaning against him to press a kiss to his lips. Steve is quick to respond and pushes you further into him. 

When it feels like Steve is starting to fall backwards from your leaning you squeal, breaking the kiss. It must be loud enough for Robin to hear as she's quick to yell.

“Steve, if I go over there I better see your cart fully empty.” It’s quick and snippy, not giving him any room to fight back. 

Steve however, rolls his eyes used to her lectures. 

“I guess I should let you work huh?” 

“I think you should stay here all day with me.” He obviously is joking but man you wish you could. 

“Then nothing would get done.” 

“Then good thing there's two workers here.” It’s said with the same tone you just had. 

“You’ll live wont your Stevie? I'll see you tomorrow!” 

Steve was so busy looking at your kiss-bitten lips he almost missed the new nickname you just gave him. You saying Steve sounded like velvet coming from your lips but, Stevie. Now that was pure sugar, something so sweet he could get a rush from. 

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see if I make it tomorrow.” He’s expecting that same sweetness to travel over but all he gets is a small hit on the arm. 

“Ow!” It didn't hurt at all but he pouted like it did and if his comment didn't make you feel light headed you would think about how adorable he looks all grumpy. 

“Don’t say that! I will see you tomorrow at 5pm sharp.” You say factually, finally leaving this corner you both have been glued to. 

���Yes I will see you tomorrow honey.” He says as he follows your every step. You’re walking towards the door, trying to leave so he can do his job and not get fired. 

“Wait, one more kiss?” 

Smiling you quickly turns on your heels. Your hands cup his jaw and you start giving him a kiss on his nose, cheeks, and finally his lips. 

“Have a good rest of your shift.” It comes out quieter as your face is extremely close to him from the kisses. 

“Thank you honey.” He gives you a peck himself, unable to hold back. “I’ll call you later tonight, okay?” 

He gets off in 3 hours, you’re not sure what more will change from now till then that he’ll have to tell you about but nonetheless you're excited to hear from him. 

“Okay, I'll be waiting.” 

“Bye, see you tomorrow.” Robin says walking up to your two. Not that there was a deep moment going on but whatever moment you were having now over. 

“Bye Stevie, bye Robin!” You say giving them a small wave as you leave. 

Steve watches to make sure you get to your car safely, sighing with big heart eyes as he looks at Robin. 

“Stevie huh?” She jokes. 

Her mocking voice alone pushes him back to reality and he rolls his eyes going back to his cart. He is already thinking of what you’ll talk about on the phone later tonight.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Unexpected Surprise

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: You up and leave your old life behind for a new job in a state you’ve never been to before. While on the plane, you meet a very interesting genius who has nothing but facts about almost everything. What you think is a cute date turns into something more when you see him at your new job.

Square Filled: "It's a success." for @mfbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3

x

Never did you think you would pack up your entire life just to move across the country for a job. Yet here you are. On a plane going to a state you’ve never been to before to start a job you never thought you’d get. You applied to be the technical analyst for the FBI after being the tech girlie for the LAPD. The job was so far out of reach so when you got the job, you almost shit your pants.

They wanted you to start right away so you had to pack up whatever you could and move out there immediately. For the next few weeks, you’ll be flying back to California to get the rest of your things. There is a cute little apartment you were lucky enough to find, so you were able to get some of your things shipped over there.

During the flight, you try to calm yourself with some relaxing music but your thoughts are too loud to silence. Instead, you take out your laptop and work on some code you’ve been dabbling in for the past few months. You can create a lot of code with your skills, but you decided to focus on hacking and digging in places you shouldn’t be.

Perfect for the FBI.

Two hours pass by while you’re creating a theme for a website when you notice it. Out of the corner of your eye, you see that your shoelace is untied. Your tray is down, your laptop and a snack rest upon it, and your bag is by your feet. It’s a fucking shoelace, Y/N. Ignore it. You try so hard for five minutes before you feel the urge to fix it. Maybe that’s why you’re so good at what you do. You pick at the details until what you’re left with is a pretty picture that’s easy to read.

Fixing your shoe is a need, not a want.

You keep shifting, hoping to get your foot closer to you so that you can tie your shoe, but to no avail.

“Do you need help?” You lift your eyes to look into honey-brown ones. The man on the aisle seat next to you has a kind smile on his face. “I can tie your shoe for you.”

“Why would you do that?” you ask without moving your foot.

The stranger holds up his phone which has a black screen. “My phone died, and I’m quite bored.”

“Okay,” you giggle.

You lift your foot and he rests it on his thigh. His long and nimble fingers grab both ends of your shoelace and start to tie it.

“No one quite knows the first time shoelaces were used to secure shoes. In fact, most reports indicate that shoelaces are as old as shoes themselves. Archaeologists believe that ancient peoples used shoelaces for the same reasons we currently use them, experimenting with materials to influence comfort, fit, and even style.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. They think that about five thousand years ago, during the late Neolithic and early Bronze Age periods, cavemen and women also used specific shoelace designs to distinguish between tribes. Most importantly, shoelaces kept early man’s shoes tight and fitted, accommodating their need to travel long distances for food, water, and shelter without causing severe damage to their feet.”

“You just know everything, don’t you?”

“I am a certified genius,” he grins.

“Is that so?”

“Quite. Did you know there are multiple ways to tie your shoe?”

“Please divulge that information,” you smile.

“First, you have the standard tie.” He ties your shoe using the most basic method that every adult knows how to do. “We have the famous ‘Bunny Ears’ way.” He unties your shoe just to tie it again using what children call ‘bunny ears’ since the loops look like ears. “Third, we have the better bow shoelace knot.” It’s like standard but he wraps the shoelace twice around his finger instead of once. “Finally, a classic, the double knot for extra security. See? It’s a success.”

“Who knew there were multiple ways to tie a shoe,” you smile.

“I did, and now so do you.”

“I’m Y/N.”

He smiles and sets your foot down. “Spencer Reid.”

“So, are you flying away from home or toward it?”

“Toward it. I was visiting my mom in Texas for a week. What about you?”

“Toward my new home. I’m from California, but I got a new job in Virginia. I’m kind of nervous about it. I’ve never done anything like it before.”

“What is it?”

“Tech work. I have a masters in computer science. I worked for the LAPD before, but I couldn’t pass up on this offer. I’m kind of nervous, to be honest. I’ve never even stepped foot in Virginia before. I don’t know anyone here.”

“You know me,” Spencer smiles kindly.

“That I do.”

The rest of the flight is smooth sailing once you and Spencer fall into easy conversation. You didn’t even know three hours had passed because he was that easy to talk to. Like the gentleman he is, he walks you to baggage claim and waits for you to get your bag even when he grabs his.

“When do you start your new job?” he asks.

“Monday.”

“I know this might be a bit forward, but I’d love to show you around Virginia if you’re not busy this weekend. I’m sure you have a lot of unpacking to do.”

“Not that much. Like I said before, this was sudden. All my things are still in California. I’ll be moving them in gradually for the next month or so. I can hang out tomorrow if you’d like.”

“It’s a date,” he smiles. His words suddenly register in his head and he starts stuttering and blushing. “Not like a date, date. I meant that I’ll see you tomorrow as in it’s confirmed.”

“Spencer, it’s okay. It can be a date,” you laugh.

“Okay,” he blushes more.

“You’re cute. I have to pick up my rental so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

After exchanging phone numbers, you part ways. Your apartment is thirty minutes from the airport and already has the necessary furniture you had shipped over--bed, couch, dining table, and two chairs. The other things will come when you have time to bring them over. There are a few boxes you had shipped that contain kitchen and bathroom items so you don’t have to go out and buy all new things.

Before, you were nervous about starting this new job. Now, you’re nervous about your date with Spencer. He’s very cute and charming, but you don’t want to mess it up. Even if he isn’t boyfriend material, he definitely has the potential to be a really good friend. Look at you, already thinking about him as a boyfriend. You really are in over your head.

The next day, Spencer picks you up without a car. He likes using public transportation and refuses to even let you drive. You two started out in a cafe to get something to eat before he took you sightseeing around Virginia. There is a beautiful botanical garden here that is his favorite, so that’s where you two are.

“So, genius, have any facts or tidbits about this place?” you ask.

“The idea for this garden came from Thomas P. Thompson, Norfolk City Manager from 1935 to 1938, and Frederic Heutte, a young horticulturalist. Heutte had a fondness for azaleas and thought Hampton Roads had a climate uniquely suited for growing the plants. Thompson and Heutte believed that Norfolk could support an azalea garden to rival those of Charleston, SC, which even during the depression years drew thousands of tourists annually.”

“Wow, you’re just a fountain of knowledge.”

“That’s not all. Within less than a year, a section of underbrush had been cleared and readied for planting. By March of 1939, four thousand azaleas, two thousand rhododendrons, several thousand miscellaneous shrubs and trees, and one hundred bushels of daffodils had been planted.

“In August of 1939, Representative Colgate W. Darden Jr. secured an additional one hundred and thirty-eight thousand, five hundred and fifty-three dollars for the Azalea Garden, and the founding of the Old Dominion Horticultural Society provided volunteer labor to assist the Garden. By 1941, the Garden displayed nearly five thousand azaleas and seventy-five landscaped acres that were encompassed by five miles of walking trails.”

You don’t know Spencer well at all but hearing him spew facts like he has them stored in his brain for later brings a smile to your face.

“Well, they did a good job because this place looks beautiful.”

Spencer looks at you and smiles. “Yeah, it is.”

You and Spencer spend another hour walking around the garden while he tells you facts about the different flowers and plants. Afterward, he takes you to get ice cream before bringing you home. He walks up the porch steps leading to your apartment building, and you stop before you can open the door.

“Would you like to come in? I don’t have a lot of furniture, though.”

“I appreciate the offer, but no.” Before your shoulders can deflate, he quickly adds, “It’s not because I don’t want to. I do, but I want to do this right.”

“Right?” you ask.

Spencer smiles and he leans in closer to you. You stay completely still because you don’t want to mess this up. You don’t want to kiss him if that’s not his intention. He does kiss you but on your cheek. Even when he pulls away, you can still feel the skin he touches tingling.

“Goodnight, Y/N. Good luck on your first day.”

“Thanks,” you whisper.

“I’ll call you tomorrow to see how it’s going.”

With that, Spencer leaves. Thoughts of him swirl around in your head for the rest of the night, are embedded into your dreams, and even when you wake up. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You get dressed and drive to the BAU where you’ll be working. Their current technical analyst is leaving so she’ll be training you to take her place.

After signing in at the lobby and getting your badge, you make your way to the floor where the BAU is. Penelope Garcia is waiting for you outside of the bullpen, and she smiles when she sees you.

“Y/N, right?”

“Yes, you must be Penelope Garcia, right? It’s nice to meet you. So, you’re leaving the BAU?”

“Yes, sad story. I love this team but I got a better job opportunity to work overseas. However, I trust that you will be more than happy here. I know you’ll do a great job because I picked you, and I’m never wrong. Let me introduce you to Hotch and the team.”

She takes you to Agent Hotchner’s office who is stern but welcoming. “You’ll be shadowing Garcia for a couple of weeks.”

“Yes, sir,” you nod.

“If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to let me know. I’ll leave you in the trusty hands of Garcia.”

“Come on, let’s find the rest of the team.”

You meet JJ, Emily, Tara, Luke, and Matt, all of them friendly and welcoming. The last person on the team is someone you never thought would be here. Spencer turns with a coffee in hand, and his eyes widen when he sees you. Not out of shock, but pleasant surprise.

“Of course, you’d work here,” you chuckle.

“Do you two know each other?”

“Kind of. We met on the plane ride over here, and he showed me around Virginia over the weekend.”

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to see me again outside of being professional.”

Ever the gentleman, Spencer is. “Dr. Reid, are you sad about that?”

“Yes, I am. I like you, and I’d like to see you again.”

A blush creeps up your neck but you try to keep it at bay. “Well, you’re about to see a whole lot of me because I am not going anywhere.” You smirk. “I’ll see you around, Dr. Reid.”

You and Penelope walk off but you turn back and give him a flirty smile. He chuckles to himself and smiles as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“I can already see it. You two will become the next Me and Derek.”

“I have no idea what that means, but I hope it’s a good thing.”

“Oh, it’s a very good thing,” she giggles.

You can’t wait.

x

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[yuujispunches]

Restless ~ M.F.

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x reader

Summary: Megumi suddenly wakes you up in the middle of the nigh because he can’t sleep and he needed someone to help him.

CW (content warning): mentions of nightmares, Megumi being absolutely emotionally constipated, some cursing, nothing else really, this is pure fluff pretty much.

AN (author’s note): so I was scrolling through Cai and ended up stumbling into a bot with this prompt, got carried away and here we are. This is the first time I’m writing anything Jjk related so I’m still trying to figure this out a bit. Also English is not my first language and I’m typing this on my phone so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes. I might have ended up getting a bit carried away with this one hahah. Hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think! :)

Requests for other jjk characters are open! Feel free to ask (you can check out the list of characters I write for on my pinned post)

Masterlist

You were sleeping soundly in your dorm room, tightly tucked in under your covers when, suddenly, the creaking sound of the door woke you up. What the hell? Was someone breaking into my dorm? Who could it be at this hour? You thought to yourself, suddenly feeling hyper alert.

That sound paired with the fact you couldn't really see anything made your senses go alert, and without thinking, you threw a pillow in the direction of my door. A quiet though was heard in the room, you had hit something.

"What the- hey, it's just me!" You heard Megumi whisper-yell in an annoyed manner on the other side of the room after he'd supposedly been hit by the pillow.

"I…” He trailed off, seemingly hesitating on wether he should say something now or just turn back and go back to his room. “I couldn't sleep." He ended up admitting quietly, scratching the back of his neck while his footsteps slowly approaching your bed.

“Fucking hell, you scared the living shit out of me Megumi!” You whisper-yelled back as you watched Megumi’ figure walking towards my bed. You clutched your chest, feeling your heart drumming inside as you tried to get you eyes to focus to the darkness of the room.

The two of you had been best friends for a long time, at the beginning he flat out ignored you when you first met, he was pretty aloof and always kept people at arms length but little by little you had managed to see through that and you became close. He was still terribly emotionally constipated, lacking some common social skills, and sometimes he still came off as cold and stoic but you knew he actually really cared about being a sorcerer, about his missions and about the people closer to him, despite being terrible at showing it.

“What happened?” You asked him as I sat up on your bed, moving closer to him when when the bed dipped slightly under his weight once he sat at the edge of it. He let out a soft sigh and paused for a moment before turning to look at me when you moved closer to him.

"Couldn't sleep again." He replied in a calm manner, looking down as he avoided eye contact for a moment. Then suddenly he looked up at you, his dark blue gaze meeting yours. "Are you mad I woke you up?" He asked, tilting his head to the side just barely as he spoke.

Your gaze softened at his question and you placed a hand on his shoulder gently caressing it. “No of course not” You quickly answered, not wanting him to feel bad about waking me up. Knowing Megumi it must be something really important if it had made him come here now. “You just almost gave me a heart attack, but it’s fine” You added in an attempt to make a light joke but it only got a half-assed chuckle from Megumi. Yeah there’s clearly something wrong.

The bags under his eyes were very noticeable even with the lack of lighting in room right now, he just looked plainly exhausted and the sight made your chest tighten.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked him softly, your voice quiet as you shifted a bit, resting your head on his shoulder.

He hummed softly in response when you placed your hand on his shoulder, and his gaze softened slightly as he felt you gently running your hand over it. He exhaled quietly, and then shifted his position slightly to look at me directly.

Your head resting on his shoulder felt good, a reminder that you were there, that he was awake and no longer seeing his nightmares and he relaxed a little more, his arm instinctively wrapping around your waist as he leaned back a bit. He was quiet for a few moments before he spoke again.

"I think talking... won't fix anything." He mumbled softly.

“Megs…” You whispered, the nickname falling off your lips almost unconsciously, at the beginning he had hated it, but as time passed and the two of you get closer he ended up growing fond of it. You were the only one allowed to call him that, so whenever he heard it it made him feel somewhat warmer inside. He had always been like this, he was absolutely terrible at opening up and talking about how he felt.

You let him pull you closer as he wrapped an arm around your waist. You knew that pressuring him into talking about whatever was on his mind would only make matter worse right now so you decided not to. “How long has it been like this?” You asked him quietly, the bags under his eyes were a clear indicator that he hadn’t been able to get a good sleep in a couple of days at least. God he looked terrible.

He sighed softly as he tightened the grip of his arm around you waist slightly for a moment, his fingers lightly drumming on the small of your back as he pondered how to answer the question. He couldn't even remember the last time he slept through the night without being woken up by a nightmare. The bags under his dark blue eyes showed the toll it had taken on him.

"A while." He mumbled in a quiet voice, almost as if it had taken him a lot of work to say that out loud his gaze averting from yours for a moment right after.

You sighed as he answered, a troubled expression on my face. Part of you wanted to scold him, tell him that he should have come to you sooner and that he was stupid for neglecting himself like this once again, but another part of you was just worried about him and wanted to comfort and hold him.

You sighed and pulled away for a moment, Megumi’s frown deepened at the gesture almost as if he was disappointed at the lack of contact but you didn’t say anything. Instead you just pulled back the covers of the bed, silently offering him the space to lay next to you.

He truly had felt a pang of disappointment when you pulled away from him, the loss of contact making him feel suddenly lonely and cold, but before he could even verbalize any protest, you were already offering him a space in your bed. He felt a slight flutter in his chest at the gesture, and without a word, he silently crawled into your bed, laying beside you.

He was a little flustered by the sudden proximity, but even more so when you pulled the covers over the both of you. His arm instinctively wrapped around your waist once again, seeking your touch.

The room was quiet, only your breathings could be heard. At first Megumi was a bit tense, but as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer he seemed to relax ever so slightly.

“Do you want to watch something or do you want to try and get some sleep?” You offered him softly, knowing that despite being seemingly calmer now he was still clearly worried about something that kept him from sleeping.

Since Megumi was pretty bad at communicating and usually kept a lot of thing to himself you had learnt to read him really well by now and you were able tell that he was still hesitant about something, maybe even worried that he was bothering you because of the fact that he had woken you up for something so silly as having nightmares. He felt childish and reluctant to talk about it because of that.

He remained quiet, his gaze flickering up to meet yours momentarily when you spoke. There was still some uneasiness written in his tired eyes, but he was definitely calmer now that he had you by his side.

He sighed softly, his fingers gently starting to trace patterns on your back as he thought about what to do. He knew he was bothering you, how could he not be? He had woken you up at god knows what time in the night to dump his problems on you. But... he needed you. He needed the reassurance, the comfort that he only felt when he was around you.

I want to help to do something to help him but I don’t know what. The feeling of Megumi’s fingers softly tracing patterns on your back as he held onto you, only made it harder to concentrate as it made your chest flutter.

“If you can’t fall asleep I’ll stay awake with you” You stated, your voice was still soft but firm. “We don’t have to watch anything or even talk if you don’t want to.” You added as you moved your hand so you were caressing his face, both of you laying on your sides facing each other “We can just stay like this if that’s what you want”

You really wanted to reassure him, it didn’t bother you in the slightest that he had come to you at this ungodly hour in the middle of the night. You would gladly stay awake every night if he ever needed you to without a doubt.

He nuzzled his face into your hand when you started gently caressing his cheek, his eye closing for a moment as he took in the feeling of your touch. He sighed softly, a hint of gratitude crossing his face.

Hearing your reassurance brought a little bit of peace to him. He knew he could be difficult to deal with at times, but the fact that you were willing to stay up with him despite that made his chest feel warm.

He shifted a little closer to you, his hand still resting on your back."You... promise you won't leave?"

A small smile played on your lips as Megumi asked you to promise him that you wouldn’t leave him, as if that ever was a possibility.

“I promise, I’m not going anywhere” I whispered back, still caressing his face gently as you looked at each other. Megumi’s eyes were searching your face, looking for any sign that might have indicated that you were uncomfortable or doing this out of pity but all he was able to find was care and softness that made the walls that he had spent so much time building around him tremble.

He sighed softly as he looked into your eyes, his gaze softening further when he heard your words. A slight flutter was still present in his chest as he was reminded of just how much he needed you, how much he cared about you.

"Thank you..." He mumbled, his hand on your back sliding down to your waist as he pulled you a bit closer.

He pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as he took in the moment. Just being like this with you brought him a sense of peace and comfort, something he desperately needed. You felt him relax even further under your touch, his expression finally softening up as you let him pull me even closer and rested his forehead against yours.

A small smile formed on your lips and you felt your heart skipping a beat. You had to remind yourself that this wasn’t the time to let your feelings out, Megumi needed you. He probably just sees me as a friend, nothing else.

“Besides, you came into my room, so I technically can’t even go anywhere else even if I wanted to.” You added, jokingly in an attempt to cheer him up even if it was just a bit.

This time, unlike the last time when he had first barged into your dorm, a faint, tired chuckle escaped his lips as you tried to joke with him. He knew you were trying to make light of the situation, and he appreciated it. That flutter in his chest only grew more intense as he silently acknowledged the fact that he felt so comfortable with you. He felt a bit guilty for having those thoughts, but deep down... he knew he was developing feelings for you.

"Right." He mumbled back, a slight smirk forming on his tired face. "So I guess you're stuck with me now."

“Exactly” I said amused, playing along, some sense of pride growing inside your chest at the sight in front of you.

The small smile that had formed on Megumi’s face, and even though it was small and tired smile it was still something and the fact that you had been the one that caused it made my chest flutter lightly. I wish he could be like this more often.

Megumi was still holding onto you, his fingers tracing patterns on your back “Oh who will save me from this torture?” You asked dramatically.

He couldn't help but huff out a small, weary chuckle at your dramatic response. The tiredness and strain in his eyes was still visible, but being with you seemed to be helping.

"No one will save you. You're stuck with me." He mumbled with a bit of amusement in his voice as he continued to hold onto you, the hand on your back still tracing patterns until he paused for a moment, his gaze flickering back up to meet yours. His expression suddenly looked a little more vulnerable as a thought crossed his sleep-deprived mind.

“Oh what a terrible fate” You whispered as you laughed a bit until you noticed.

You were about to say something else but then Megumi stopped moving his hand along your back, making you gaze up at his face, only to find him already staring at you, a look in his eyes you had never seen before. You just stayed there, not daring to move a muscle in case it would break the moment, waiting for him to do or say something. You could feel your heart pounding inside your chest. Is he able to hear it? Given how close the two of you were it was certainly a possibility.

You felt his fingers trembling slightly against your back as he stared at you, the expression in his tired eyes growing a tad more vulnerable.

He was tired. He was tired, and he didn't have the mental capacity to filter his thoughts like usual. The words slipped past his lips before he could stop them, the admission coming out in a soft, quiet, almost vulnerable voice. "...I don't deserve you."

You froze for a moment as you heard him, his voice unusually quiet and vulnerable. You looked into his eyes, searching for something, although you didn’t even know what. Your heart melted and ached equally at the sudden confession.

“Megs…” You whispered, his nickname falling off my lips as a breath once again.

You moved your hand that had been caressing his face, now running your fingers through his hair gently as you kept your gaze fixed on his. “I really wish you could see yourself like I see you”

His eyes fluttered shut at your touch, his head nuzzling slightly into your hand as he felt the gentle caress of your fingers in his hair. He leaned into it slightly, as if chasing the comfort it provided him.*

His expression was still vulnerable, his weariness clearly visible on his tired face. He slowly opened his eyes again, staring into yours as he spoke in that same quiet voice.

"You... make me feel things. Things I don't think I should feel."

With each word he spoke you could feel your heart sinking deeper and deeper, terrified of what this could lead to but also pained that he felt like that, like he was undeserving of love, of having feelings:

“Why?” You breathed out.

He let out a soft exhale, his expression turning a mix of vulnerability and uncertainty. He continued to stare into your eyes as he struggled with his thoughts, silently fighting against his own mind. It was taking all of his energy to keep his guard down, to be open and vulnerable.

"Because..." He paused for a moment, his voice growing softer as he spoke. "Because you're too good for me. You're too good, and I'm... I'm just... broken."

You could’ve never dreamed that he would also have some kind of eelings for you, you should’ve been happy about this but instead, it broke your heart to hear him speak of himself like that.

“You’re not broken Megs” You said, both your hands cradling his face, making him look at you. “Yes you might have some baggage but that doesn’t make you broken or undeserving of love” You stated and paused briefly, gathering your thoughts for a moment. It is now or never.

“You are incredibly infuriating, you always keep your feelings to yourself, you push people away and act as if you don’t really care and you make me want to strangle you most of the time. Getting to know you is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done.” A frown formed on Megumi’s face as he listened to you. “But you’re also the most loyal, unintentionally funny and caring person I have ever met.” You were pouring your feelings out and paused briefly to take a breath before adding something else. “You’re truly amazing Megumi Fushiguro and I’m in love with you.”

There it is, I finally said it. He listened intently as you spoke, his tired eyes fixed on your face as you held his face in your hands. He could feel his defences crumbling down as he took in your words, your confession making his heart beat faster in his chest.

As you finished speaking, he was left speechless for a moment, his mind processing what you had just said. Your words had left him reeling, his heart and mind in a turmoil of emotion.

"You... love me?" He managed to choke out, his voice barely above a whisper.

All you managed to do was nod in response. “I love you.” You repeated, even more firmly than before if it was even possible.

His eyes widened slightly as you repeated the words, completely caught off guard by your confession. He could feel his heart thumping loudly in his chest as he struggled to process the fact that you loved him. Megumi was used to keeping people at a distance, he was used to being alone, but hearing those words come out of your mouth made his mind reel.

"You... love me." He repeated softly, almost as if testing the words on his tongue. Then there was silence.

“This is supposed to be the part where you say whether you feel the same or not Megs” You said, your heart was beating so hard inside your chest that you thought that it would burst out of it at any second now.

He stayed quiet, only making me more nervous m. Had I gone too far? Maybe I had misrepresented what he meant earlier, maybe I had just ruined our friendship forever. Your mind started spinning. “I uh… it’s okay if you don’t I just-“ Your nervous rambling was suddenly cut off by Megumi’s lips.

As your anxious rambling was about to escalate, he silenced you by abruptly pressing his lips against yours. It was a quick, impulsive action, born out of his need to shut you up and reassure you that you weren’t wrong. It was a bit rough and uncoordinated due to him acting on instinct, but the message behind it was clear.

He pulled back from the kiss after a few seconds, his tired eyes fixated on you once again.

"I love you too." He whispered softly, his voice still hoarse from fatigue and emotion.

“Oh…” You let out, dumbfounded as your mind and heart were reeling from the kiss. “That’s good then” You chuckled awkwardly, your face surely blushing as you felt your whole body growing hot.

Megumi shook his head, adoring eyes looking at you as if you were the best thing he had ever seen which, to him, you were before leaning in again, his lips meeting yours once more.

That night neither of you really slept, but instead of nightmares, the night was filled with soft kisses, adoring glances and whispered ‘I love you’s.

tags: @fortunatelyfurrygiver

Taglist is open so let me know if you want to be added!

[vettelsvee]

DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS | Carlos Sainz

⋆ PAIRING: Carlos Sainz x Girlfriend!Reader ⋆ SUMMARY: Carlos is giving his everything to try being the best after his life changed by entering Williams, even that means his health might be at risk... and even when you try your best to support him every way possible ⋆ WORD COUNT: 929 ⋆ WARNINGS: Mental health issues, a bit angsty ⋆ VEE'S NOTES: Williams!Carlos fic to celebrate I got the Williams Meet & Greet with Carlos and Alex tomorrow and I'm nervous af. Hope you like this one even it's short and remember that if you liked it you can comment and reblog, and even make requests, since I'd appreciate it a lot! Thank you so much for reading! <3 Also we’re close to 2k followers so give me ideas for a fic event pls 🙏🏻 ↳ TALK TO ME/MAKE YOUR REQUESTS! | FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST

Carlos woke up that Wednesday morning around six o'clock, excited to start his training even before having breakfast.

The next Grand Prix, in Imola, was the next one in the 2025 season, his newest one with Williams. After Ferrari decided it was the best to replace him with Lewis, he was lost; however, in the upcoming months after that abrupt decision, and especially after signing with his newest team, he really believed welcoming new beginnings was meant to be.

Now, after a few months into the season, doubt and overthinking were surrounding his head all the time.

The truth was, although he found it hard to admit, the past few days had been tough on him. He didn’t take care of himself like he should. He decided to train excessively, even more than what his coaches and specialists advised him to, leading to his body starting to feel the backlash: the muscle pain he was experiencing was immense, and his body was way more tired than usual.

However, that didn't make him stop. The comparisons on the internet with his newest teammate, Alex Albon, were killing him even he tried to stay as calm as possible. Carlos knew he still had to adapt to the team; that he was, actually, adapting to the team, but some comments from people that didn’t know the truth behind it all were that gross that all the Spanish could think about was not being good enough for Formula 1.

That, maybe, it was his time to say goodbye to the sport that not only gave him life, but also he gave his life for.

When he arrived at the gym, he found you, already training to be able to go to work in the upcoming hours.

"Hey, what's wrong?" 

You quickly approached him as soon as you saw him, gently touching his arm. You didn't like the tension you noticed on Carlos’ face, but at the same time, you didn't want to intrude on his thoughts because you knew how close, shy and, moreover, ashamed, he was with everything involving sharing his deepest worries.

"I'm fine," Carlos replied curtly, although you already know it wasn't true.

You knew something was wrong no matter how much the driver insisted otherwise, so that's why, without thinking about it too much, you took a step forward and decided it was best to address the problem (or at least, try to) once and for all, with your boyfriend:

"Listen, babe…" 

You began speaking softly, while trying to approach him the best way possible so that he didn’t treat you like he was used to every time he couldn’t face his problems in conversations with others.

"I think you're training too much, and it's affecting you, physically and mentally. I hope you realize that what you're doing is not going to help you achieve better results, no matter how much you insist otherwise," you continued. “You’re more than worth, and just keeping yourself busy trying to be the best, when you might not be able to…”

"You don't understand," Carlos interrupted you with frustration. "I need to train harder if I want to win."

You sighed, understanding him but, at the same time, getting more worried at his stubbornness.

"I'm aware of how much you want to do well for Williams, really, but you can't continue punishing yourself like this. You need to take a break and listen to what your body is telling you," you said gently.

Carlos felt a bit resentful, but he knew, deep down, you were more than right. Still, he couldn't help but feel bad about himself once again because, since the beginning of the new season, and even in the past one, he had been compared to his teammates.

He didn’t want to be compared with Charles or Alex. 

He just wanted people to talk about him, for the worse or for the better.

"Maybe you're right," he finally admitted. "But I feel like what I've been doing isn't enough to be on the same line with the rest of the grid."

You approached him and, delicately, placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You can't compare yourself to others, love. You are you, Carlos Sainz, and you have your own strengths and weaknesses. So, please… try your best to just ignore the journalists, okay? You know how they are and how much they like drama…"

Carlos pondered over your words and realized that his girlfriend was right: if he continued punishing his body like that, the consequences would be more severe than they were at that moment. And he didn’t want to miss another race like he did last season when he had appendicitis.

"Thank you for telling me what I don't want to hear," Carlos said, embracing you. "As much as you love me, if you didn't manage to make me see reason, to talk to me... I don't want to know what would have happened to my head more than my body, really. I should take a break, maybe creating a new training routine, but I should discuss it with..."

You smiled, listening carefully to your boyfriend as he talked about his plans to try to silence that impostor syndrome that was eating him alive, even admitting that he might seek even more psychological help than the one he already had to manage himself better.

"I'm here to support you in everything, Carlitos," you finally answer, a huge smile on your face. "You don't have to thank me for caring about you… for making you see how much you’re worth."

[matchalovertrait]

At Antonio's office, Dulce asked for help with a shared custody agreement for Cosi between her and Caruso. Antonio found the idea absurd, but he wanted to make her happy. He drew up a contract that worked entirely in Dulce's favor and could be terminated at any time. It's Caruso- and Isabela-proof.

Dulce and Caruso believe this arrangement could work out long-term despite their complicated history. Cosi is relatively chill, and it would be nice to travel without always finding a sitter for her.

NOTE: Of course agreements like this often don't work out in the real world, but this is the route we're going! Don't worry, Cosi will be perfectly happy and okay. I promise <3

NOTE: Shout out to @authorspirit who was hoping for an agreement like this! It's like you read my notes with ideas 😂 I was itching to finally get to this post and publish it.

NOTE: Of course, Buttercups is from @abbysimsfun's Sims in Bloom story! Antonio, "the lawyer," was in this post.

Start from the beginning (Gen 2)

Previous | Next

Transcript

The Caruso Residence

[Caruso gently picked up Cosi as she wagged her tail.]

CARUSO: Hey, Cosi. I missed you, too.

[He laughed softly, as if in disbelief.]

CARUSO: I thought maybe you would have forgotten me by now.

DULCE: Remember, I can end the agreement at any time. If we see that switching between houses is hurting her, then we’ll forget about everything.

CARUSO: Yup!

DULCE: Also, don’t forget: if she spins around counterclockwise, that means she ran out of water. And if she’s barking at 10 PM-

CARUSO: -it’s because she’s telling you it’s her bedtime and needs complete darkness. I know. Alegría, you’re acting like I never took care of her. C’mon.

DULCE: I know, my bad.

???: Excuse me.

DULCE: Who is that?

CARUSO: Because of the compensatory damages, legal fees, and brib- I mean, and my dwindling subscriber count, I can’t afford this ginormous house that I bought on a whim. So, I had to rent out the other bedrooms. It’s all good.

DULCE: Why not sell the house instead, genius?

CARUSO: No way! I already got attached to it.

DULCE: I guess that’s fair. It is a nice place.

CARUSO: Yeah, you would know, wouldn’t you?

DULCE: Take the compliment.

[“And shut up,” she wanted to add.]

DULCE: ....I’m happy for you?

CARUSO: Thank you.

DULCE: Never mind, I take that back! I’m not convinced. I know you’ll never do anything to Cosi or use her against me, but I have to keep my eye on you. You’re a wild card.

CARUSO: Seriously?? Okay, fine. I’ll formally apologize for everything.

DULCE: Fantastic, I’d love that.

CARUSO: Hold on, I’m trying.

DULCE: ...

CARUSO: Any second now.

[“Oh my gosh, he’s full of crap!” she thought.]

DULCE: Ahem... Well... As I’ve learned, an apology without real change is meaningless. So if you can’t say one, I hope you at least turn things around, Caruso.

CARUSO: I’m sensing angry energy from you. Do you want to try some breathing exercises that I learned on the retreat?

DULCE: I’m fine.

DULCE: By the way, the lawyer went to a wedding, and he met the family that owns Buttercups. Pretty cool, right?

CARUSO: Really? Wow!

DULCE: Besides the PI info, he also got their contact info in case Cosi wants to do a commercial. What do you think? Since you’re her other parent.

CARUSO: Sounds good to me. She’ll be a star!

DULCE: I’ll go now. Bye-bye, Cosi. I’ll see you soon. Be good – or not. Give this guy hell for all I care.

[maldeldest]

So, I was wondering in how many Episodes Zuko actually antagonized the Gaang so (because I have no life) I got us all an Overview

1x1: Zuko's introduction and the worst thing he did was stalking them, while he remained on his ship to annoy his uncle

1x2: Classic capturing Aang moment. That's how the best friendships begin

1x3: No antagonzing here. Just kicking Zhao's ass

1x4: The Kyoshi Island fight. Yet another classic

1x5: No Zuko

1x6: Short cameo and kinda bad for taking the necklace, but he just picked it up so I let that slide.

1x7: Decided to save Uncle instead of following the Avatar *pats his bald head* Good boy

1x8: Again Zhao is the bigger asshole but he shot them and grabbed Aang for like 3 seconds.

1x9: Teaming up with pirates to be the perfect villain, oh yeeeah.

1x10: No Zuko here

1x11: No Zuko here

1x12: Here you got everything at once. Zuko being a little bitch (I love him so much), then this 13 year old mf had the balls to speak up against innocents dying and the Agni Kai scene killed me. My boy then let the Avatar escape yet again to ensure the safety of his crew. And that, my friends, is the reason why Zuko was never a villain to me, only an antagonist.

1x13: Zuko being vulnerable and losing hope and then saves Aang. I count that one as good because he could have chased him after but didn't (Yeah I know he was still injured and tired, BUT I LET IT COUNT)

1x14: No Zuko here

1x15: Again classic June team up with her whip.

1x16: No Zuko, Only mentioned.

1x17: Again no Zuko here.

1x18: Ahhh the very first assasination attempt. They grow up so fast.

1x19: Starts wholesome but shit got serious because Zuko has Aang. (And gets the most clichee bad guy line "Who do we have here?" Zuko no you are better than this).

1x20: Here we have both a bad thing and a good thing. Bad thing is ofc holding Aang captive for half the episode and good is trying to save Zhao (who hasn't deserved it a bit but Zuko is better than me IG)

2x1: Nothing to see here. Azula serves as the bad guy and Zuko is doing humanity a favor by cutting off his ponytail.

2x2: Good boys dont steal oastric horses from nice ladies, Zuko. Ts ts ts.

2x3: Azula serves as the worthy antagonist. I guess Zuko gave over his cepter.

2x4: Only one Zuko scene at the beginning. A shame. What ? No, Zuko didn't steal these guys swords, that was the blue spirit. PAY ATTENTION!

2x5: Zuko (steals) brings food on the table for Uncle. What a nice young man.

2x6: No Zuko here

2x7: Okay if I have to explain this one I'm not sure if you should stay here. Love How Avatar wasn't even mentioned.

2x8: Only one line of wanting to capture Aang and then making a fool out of himself against Azula (Zuko, I love you, but that really wasn't your best). And then they worked together. Also, my sweet, I get you have trust issues and all but dont throw fire at people wanting to help your injured uncle

2x9: The only thing he hurt in here was Iroh's nerves.

2x10: No Zuko here

2x11: Zuko and Iroh playing refugee simulator and minding their own buisness.

2x12: Zuko getting dragged into the criminal lifestyle by the bad influence of his new boyfriend -Uncle Iroh

2x13: I see a pattern but again Zuko and Iroh minding their own buisness.

2x14: Zuko and Iroh minding their own buisness but Jet comes in to ruin the fun and spill the tea.

2x15: Who needs honor when you can get a pretty girl.

2x16: Small cameo on the boat and Iroh watching over Zuko. Very wholesome.

2x17: Zuko tried to steal Appa: No bad Zuko, down.

Zuko frees Appa: Good Zuko.

2x18: Zuko is too sick to hunt the Gaang

2x19: Zuko is happy and him and Iroh minding their own buisness. Katara, I love you but why did you have to ruin it 😭

2x20: We... we don't talk about this. Lets just move on

3x1: Love how Zuko isn't even back for 5 minutes and Azula is already mentally torturing him.

3x2: Nice boys also dont sent assassins after his future best friend, Zuko. Ts ts ts.

3x3: No Zuko here

3x4: No Zuko here.

3x5: Zuko and Mai being an all time fighting couple and being assholes to each other but it has nothing to do with the Gang so I let it slide. And wow, Azula manages to have one moment with Zuko that felt honestly wholesome to me. Good Job 👍🏻

3x6: Backstory time. Again, nothing was done to hurt the Gaang so we are good so far.

3x7: No Zuko here

3x8: No Zuko here

3x9: Zuko living the life he deserves as a prince (too bad we have to take it away from him)

3x10: Few Zuko scenes here and there, each of them great.

3x11: Zuko standing up to his father as the GOAT he is

3x12: Zuko joins the Gaang

3x13: Zukaang life changing field trip

3x14: Zukka life changing field trip

3x15: Zukka life changing field trip part 2

3x16: Zutara life changing field trip and Zuko is officially their friend. I love a happy ending.

3x17: Zuko regrets that ponytail more than everything else (and sweet moment with Toph)

3x18: Yup, attacking Aang one last time for good luck but I let it slide.

3x19: If Zuko and Iroh's reunion is not one of your favorite scenes then leave.

3x20: Agni Kai, do I need to say more ?

3x21: All hail firelord Zuko

So, thats it. We only have 9 times where he was actually an evil force to be dealt with by the Gaang out of 61 Episodes. The rest of the times he either wasn't present, minding his own buisness, annoyed his uncle or was a straight up hero even while he was an antagonist.

And thats why to me he is I no way comparable to Zhao, Ozai, Azula, Long Feng or even minor douchebags like Jet.

[vhygoxo]

Twilight New Age

After inheriting her grandparents house in the Quileute reservation, La Push, Y/N moves to her home rez. Hoping to start a new life she is soon involved with what she thought were just old legends.

Paul Lahote x Reader

Romance | Fantasy | Drama | Angst | 18+

CHAPTER 4

<<CHP3

Kim stood in front of y/n shivering and shaking. Soaked wet from the rain it couldn’t hide her stream of tears. Grabbing onto Kim's shoulders y/n felt panicked. Kim looked up at her with pleading eyes. She ushered her quickly inside without another word.

“What happened?” She asked as Kim tried to calm herself down. Y/n rushed to grab the nearest towel. A clean dish rag that Kim grabbed from y/n to dry her hair. Her sobs slowly began to fade as she recollected her self.

“I’m sorry for coming here out of the blue. I just—I didn’t know where else to go” she sighed as she continued drying her hair. Y/n couldn’t help but pity her cousin looking at the state of her. “That’s okay I’m just glad you thought of me. Now what happened?” She asked as Kim finally gave in reluctantly.

“…Well I got into a fight—“

“A fight with who? Jared?” Y/n scanned her closely for any signs of violence. Already feeling anger rising within her. Kim shook her head profusely as she pressed her hands into y/n shoulders.

“Not him! No Jared would never. It’s my sister Jaz”

Jasmine was Kim's older sister by two years. She was a beautiful woman with thick hair and lashes. Out of them two she looked like their mom the most. One of the reserves most beautiful women, her only flaws, being her bluntness and attitude.

The two had a sort of sour relationship, growing up everyone compared the two, jaz being known as the ‘pretty one’ out of them two. It always bothered Kim over the years. She had a younger brother as well but he was 6 years younger. Still living with their parents at home.

“She kicked me out” Kim sighed as she continued to try and dry herself. “We got into a big argument about the place” she explained with a deep sigh. The two had been living together since Kim was 18. Jaz was 20 when they decided to get their own place. A few apartments on the rez were available so they took their chance.

It was a modest two bedroom apartment. Life was good for both all until jaz got with her latest boyfriend. Now the two are having a kid which made the tensions about space rise. Kim already didn’t like her brother in law so a child with him didn't sit with her well.

“I got after her man for barely helping. I can't stand him sitting there on the couch like a bum! Especially when he makes a mess and doesn't clean it up. Or else makes my sister clean it which pisses me off the most” Kim got herself riled up in anger thinking back on it.

“Everyday same thing! Ugh I just can’t if Jared treated me like that I’d rather die— not actually but still” y/n couldn’t help but just sit in silence. Knowing she needed to just talk about it all. “What upsets me is when my sister gets after me, she rather get mad at me, than just deal with her man” Kim scoffed as she was rubbing her hair aggressively with the towel.

“Anyways she basically told me to get out. She’s been saying for weeks now I should just move out. Her and the baby need my space, which I get, but I mean I paid for that place also! I worked hard to make that my home. It just doesn’t feel fair for me to get kicked out like this”

A moment of silence washed over as Kim sat in defeat. Y/n wasn’t quite sure what she should say or do. Looking at Kim with a hand on her shoulder she sighed. Doing what she felt best she listened to her woes.

“No it doesn’t seem fair” y/n agreed as Kim reached to hold her hand. Giving a soft reassuring smile to her. As time passed y/n felt an underlying energy coming from her. Looking at Kim with her big pleading eyes it just confirmed it.

“So I really don't want to go back to my mom’s just to admit defeat. You know the whole reason why we moved together was because of my mom. She always doubted me especially out of us two. If I go back now I'll never hear the end of it”

Y/n thought for a moment as she could feel the burning question. “I was just wondering… do you think I can stay with you for a bit? I'll go back eventually I just want jaz to cool down for a minute. We need some space for a moment. I'll help with anything, bills, cooking, cleaning, you name it”

Y/n didn't have to think it over much. She actually felt a sudden rush of relief flood over her hearing the question. After the strange experiences she had been having so far. Another person in the house would do her good. For the both of them actually. She rushed Kim into a tight hug which surprised her.

“Yes of course you know I have more than enough space for you here. Besides even if you didn't ask I would've at this point” y/n teased but Kim could sense the true underlying issue. Which was the fear y/n had being here alone.

“Really? Is it that bad living here alone?”

“No! No not really. It's just… I'm a single woman living in a big house. Legit in the middle of a big forest it can get a bit scary”

Kim giggled amused by y/n's reaction. “Thought you could handle it here?” She teased as y/n just shook her head. “Well don't worry I'll be here to protect you now” Kim assured as y/n couldnt help but smile.

Y/n helped her to a hot shower and a change of clothes in the meantime. While she was in there y/n made up a room for Kim. Luckily there was only one other bed besides y/n's that Kim could claim.

Kim called Jared to help her go get her stuff from her sisters. At least a few things like clothes and essentials. “It’s either now or never, if I don’t go now it’ll all be on Facebook, the Rez buy and sell page tomorrow morning” Kim said . Y/n knew she wasn’t even joking either. Jared pulled up not long after the phone call.

“Alright well wish me luck. I hope she didn't lock me out again” Kim cringed as she left out the door. No way Jasmine was that spiteful, y/n thought, until she remembered how she truly was. Disillusioned by how long she hasn't seen her.

Thinking it'd take a while for them to get back y/n decided to cook. Something simple for when they got back. Opting on a simple soup and oven bannock. It felt good to know she'd have Kim with her for now. And that she could cook without fear of left overs.

After seeing Renesmee the other night in her room, she really didn't feel like being alone in the house, whether she was real or just part of her dream. It was unsettling to say the least for y/n.

Kim would be here to help and distract her. Tap her into reality and get her out of her mindset. Y/n was used to being around others until recently. Y/n considered this one of the most isolating moments in her life.

Gazing out the kitchen window she looked at the treeline. Wondering what was lurking in the vast area. She wasn't used to how dark it could get especially with the trees. They casted shades of black almost darker than night.

Something was watching her in the trees. Every night she could sense it strongly. Pacing back and forth over and over. But she just couldn't put a finger on to what or who it could be. All of it points to the mystery of Renesmee.

Suddenly Jared's truck pulled up fast down the driveway. His loud pipes announcing his arrival as usual. Snapping her attention away she grimaced. Y/n hurridly went to the front door to unlock it for the two.

Kim came back with a few packed laundry baskets and bags. Jared hauling in everything in basically one trip somehow. Kim came with a disgruntled look on her face. “Oh hey you guys were quick—“ y/n greeted before getting cut off by a frustrated Kim.

“At least I know I made the right decision. Jared almost fought him” y/n knew she meant Jasmine's boyfriend. Jared just had a smug look as he nodded his head agreeing. “Totally could've messed him up. Easily. But then jaz threatened to put a no contact order between us and them” Jared said placing the last of her bags down.

“Jesus that bad?” Y/n questioned as Kim sighed deeply. “It's just Jaz being dramatic as usual, even more so, now that she's knocked and full of hormones” she scoffed annoyed.

“Yeah babe I'm not sure if it's the hormones” Jared said as he walked up to hug her. Kim looked upset as she sighed, y/n wondered what would happen between Kim and her sister. Would they continue to argue like this until who knows when?

“Ugh I don't know but I just know I can't be there anymore. It's too much for me to deal with on the daily. I'll take my losses money wise. I'm just glad to be out of there”

“… So I take we’re gonna be roomies for a while?” Y/n smiled happily as Kim returned the same bright smile. Both ran into a hug squealing with sudden excitement. “Hey that’s until she finally agrees to come live with me. Which won’t be long” Jared butt in with a sly smile.

“Shut up you’ll be even lucky if I decide to shack up with you” Kim jabbed back as she held onto y/n still. Y/n could see how jealous Jared was being but it made her laugh. “I win” y/n couldn’t help but push the limit.

Jared grumbled as he grabbed Kim by the waist. Pulling her to her newly set up room “cmon I’ll help you unpack” He huffed. Kim had a wicked smile looking back at y/n. Before the couple left to Kim's new room. Although it was quick and rushed she was glad for Kim's presence.

She'd hope the nightmares and vivid dreams would stop. Now with her cousin here anyways. They bothered y/n too much now she couldn't even ignore them at this point. Maybe with Kim here things would change.

The night slowed down after dinner and sending Jared home. Kim promised Jared wouldn't be here all the time, but at this point, y/n hoped he'd be here more often. At least she'd have a true protector around to keep them safe. Not that she'd admit it to Kim herself.

Looking outside her bedroom window, before closing the curtains, she could see a shadow dip back into the treeline. Confirming her suspicions on something watching her. Could it be the same wolf from before? Maybe there was a den or something close near.

‘A wolf?’ y/n repeated the thought. Why would her first assumption be the gray wolf? She'd only seen it once, it wasn't as if the shadow was the one, it could've been any wild animal.

Wolves immediately made her think of her grandfather. How he left her in the dream as one. For all she knows it's her grandfather watching over her, protecting his family, like he always has.

Feeling exhausted she actually relaxed in bed. It helped knowing someone else was here other than just her. A great comfort actually as y/n curled into bed. No longer afraid of the small noises of the house.

A few days passed by as Kim and y/n figured out their new life together. Y/n was so glad to have Kim by her side, as was Kim, who was enjoying her new found freedom. They made the house feel warm and inviting.

Barely a week and they already had a routine together. Not to mention y/n had hardly dreamt crazily since her arrival. It all felt so peaceful and calm these few days. The two sat in the living room relaxing comfortably.

“So Em was saying she wanted us to come over one of these days. Maybe this Saturday if you’re down?”

“Really? Yeah of course, I haven’t seen her house yet, so you’d have to show me when we go” y/n answered Kim as she smiled. A short pause came between them as Kim's mind stirred.

“I didn’t even get to ask what you thought of the bonfire” Kim had a sly look on her face as y/n braced herself. “I got too caught up with me and my sister’s drama I forgot to even ask. What do you think of the guys? Hope they didn't bother you too much. I couldn’t really tell”

“No they didn't bother me they were actually quite fun. Embry was nice to talk to” y/n blushed slightly thinking back to him. Kim noticed as she still wore the same smirk.

“Oh I'm sure he was super nice” wiggling her eyebrows at y/n making her shake her head. “Y’know I don't mean it that way” she pressed against Kim's teasing. Kim shrugged as she continued on.

“Well let's just say the guys were totally into you. And that one in particular has been asking about you nonstop since” Kim tried to hide her excitement. Y/n glanced over curious on who, but feigning ignorance, she looked away. Secretly she hoped it was Embry who was curious.

“Hm I'm not suprised” y/n shrugged in an effort to hide her interest. Kim rolled her eyes in disbelief. “OK Miss know it all. Just thought it'd make you happy considering this is why you moved back”

Y/n whipped her head back at her in mutual disbelief. “I didn't move back for men or anything like that! You know it” she argued. It was true it wasn’t the sole reason for her return.

“Well you said you wanted to make new friends! You're one of my only single friends at the moment. What harm can come from me introducing you to some good guys? They're all mostly single. I haven’t been a matchmaker in so long!”

“—True but I mean what are you telling these guys? That I'm just willing and down for anything?”

“No! No of course not I didn't say anything like that to them. Not much at all just that I have my cousin I wanted to bring around. I figure you're gonna come across them at some point. Better I have some control instead of leaving it to chance”

Y/n sat in silence for a moment. Kim sat slightly anxious of her reaction. Y/n just didn't want to seem desperate for anything especially a man. Letting the mood pass over Kim changed the subject.

“But I'm assuming you had a lot of fun? Sorry about it being cut short though. Sort of why Emily wants to invite us this weekend. To make up for it somehow”

“Yeah it was fun… But I felt like I couldn't see Jacob that much. Or Renesmee really” as soon as y/n finished her statement Kim's face fell. She stared at her serious which made y/n feel unsettled.

“Renesmee? How do you know her?” Kim sat up and grabbed y/n's hand making her sense desperation. “Wasn't that your first time meeting her the other night? She just moved back how could you even know her” Kim questioned making y/n raise an eyebrow.

“What's up with you? I didn't realize you knew so much about this girl. I thought I told you about her? Remember? When I first came back I met her and Jacob at the diner” Kim sat in utter silence as she looked down into the couch. Deep in thought as her mind stirred.

“Did she say much to you? Anything weird?” All these questions made y/n feel even more on edge about Renesmee. The crazy dreams didn't help much but make y/n feel even more crazy.

“No she didn't— what's the big problem?”

“Oh!… Well —there's no problem—”

“Well from the way you're eyeing me up and down not to mention questioning me pretty hard, I think something is up, so just tell me what's so bad about her” y/n said frustrated. Kim sighed deeply before she put a hand on her head.

“Look it’s… I… I won't say much… but all you need to know is to stay away from that girl. Okay? She's more than just strange. So don’t be poking around where you shouldn't”

Kim's tone and attitude seemed so serious, y/n couldn't help but take her as such, not wanting to pry anymore she left the topic alone. Something in her gut told her to just ignore it all as usual.

“I won't poke around I swear. It's just…” y/n felt the urge right then and there to confess everything, from the crazy dreams to the moment she had with Renesmee, but she hesitated.

“Just what?” Kim questioned leaning in close. Looking into her eyes y/n felt she should just keep her mouth shut. She already had her sister and who knows what else to deal with. It’s not like there’d be much to say besides “you’re crazy”.

She offered a reassuring smile “nothing” y/n answered. Kim just nodded and continued watching TV. But really she could sense something underlying and brewing in her cousin.

The next day Emily wanted the two of them to come over. She was cooking a big dinner mostly since Sam has a day off work. ‘Everyone’ was apparently stopping by so the two were getting ready.

Y/n stood fixing her hair in the bathroom facing the mirror. Kim strolled by but backed up once she saw her. “You almost ready? Jared's coming in like 10 minutes” y/n sighed as she finished her hair.

“Ok— Wait why is he picking us up? No offence but I have my own car Y’know? Why can’t we just drive over together?”

Kim didn't answer quickly enough which raised suspicion. “…it doesn't matter but just saying it's a free ride…” she shrugged walking away. Y/n sighed once more as she decided to just go with them.

Jared sat waiting in the truck as the two girls jumped in. “You girls ready? We’re a bit early some of the guys will be running late. Sam also” Kim just shook her head and laughed slightly.

“I bet Emily isn’t too happy about that”

Jared just laughed and nodded his head agreeing. Pulling the truck into gear as they all headed to Emily’s. Y/n sat staring out the window watching the trees pass.

Arriving y/n was impressed by the house and how it looked. It was a quaint, beautiful home, with so much foliage covering the front. It looked so camouflaged with the surrounding area. She could see bodies moving around inside.

“Hey guys glad you made it! It’s almost done but come on in and relax in the meantime” Emily stood waiting at the front door. Coming inside it was cozy, smaller than she thought, but decorated nicely. Family pictures and art hung on the walls. The aroma of good food filled the air.

“Thanks for inviting me your place is really nice” y/n said as she scanned the place. “Awe thanks that’s sweet of you. But no problem I’m glad you guys came. Really good eats are going down soon here. I just gotta check on it” Emily smiled as she walked towards the oven. Jared sat down at the table along with the girls.

“Hey so where’s uh…” Jared asked nodding towards Emily. Who just rolled her eyes as she pulled out the steaming hot roast chicken. “They’re all on their way. Leah and Seth are in the back” As soon as they were mentioned they came through the back door.

“Oh hey it's y/n! Good to see you finally made it!” Seth said with a cheerful disposition. Leah strolled behind smiling slightly at her. “I didn’t really get a chance to talk to you at the bonfire. Considering how Paul was just hovering—“ Seth was cut off by Jared nudging him.

“Hey how have you been?” Leah asked before y/n could even question the comment about Paul. All of them gathered in the living room while Emily finished with dinner. Y/n picked a spot on the couch to sit down.

“Uh I've been good, you?”

“Same” she answered nonchalantly as she sat down by Seth. “Heard you got yourself a new roommate” Leah said making Kim look over and give a cheeky smile.

“Yeah I have Kim staying with me for a bit or maybe forever” She said garnering a scoff from Jared. Annoyed at y/n’s confidence over the fact. Y/n sat with a smug satisfied look.

“Who knows however long jaz is going to be mad at me” Kim shrugged her shoulders rolling her eyes. “Which could be forever. ‘S why I keep saying you should just move in with me” Jared argued as he wrapped his arms around Kim lovingly.

“Must be fun in an all girl's house” Seth said with a certain shine in his eyes. “Could I come over?” he leaned in towards y/n but was pushed in the chest by Leah. Obviously disgusted by his behaviour.

“Settle down you can't just invite yourself over when you want to Seth. Leave the girls alone” her eyes said it all. Seth just laughed and covered his chest like it was nothing. “You can if you want to” y/n answered innocently surprising everyone. Not thinking much since he was much younger than her. Y/n thought Seth was adorable and kind like a little brother so far.

Kim just nudged her and leaned in “hey what are you doing?” She asked in a hushed tone. Y/n just wanted to be welcoming not seeing what Kim could. For y/n the more the merrier, she wanted friends here, and Seth seemed to be the most interested.

“I don't mean come by whenever whenever. But I just mean if you ever want to come just message. Kim and I are usually home”

“You don't know what door you've just opened!” She whisper yelled at her. Seth's eyes lit up as he just air punched out of excitement. “Really? Yes!” He exclaimed as Kim sighed deeply shaking her head. “I gotta tell Brady and Thomas” he insisted as Jared laughed loudly.

Groaning in agony Kim just leaned into y/n. “just when I thought I'd just found my peace and sanctuary” Seth had a certain look on his face. “Ha! Good luck getting that guy out or away from y/n” Jared teased Kim who only groaned more. Y/n felt her face flush warm from the sudden comment. Making her realize Seth’s poor attempt at flirting.

“Dinners ready guys. Y/n, Kim, Leah you guys sit with me at the table” Emily ordered as she spread the food out buffet style. Roast chicken, mashed potatoes, roasted squash, gravy, and even for dessert a strawberry rhubarb pie.

“Jesus Emily I didn’t realize you could cook this well” y/n stood back amazed at her skills. Noticing she even went as far as plating each dish nicely. “It’s Emily’s cooking of course she’s gonna chef it up” Jared insisted as he scooped dollops of mashed potatoes.

Getting their plates for dinner they had just sat down. The women sat at the dinner table the two guys sat in the living room. Y/n's heartbeat began to steadily rise, she could sense something, it felt so familiar. She pressed a hand to her chest as an attempt to soothe the issue.

Kim noticed as she looked over at y/n. Rubbing her chest in small circles as she picked at her plate. From the back door footsteps and voices could be heard. Looking over to see Sam step in first. Immediately heading to where Emily was kissing her on the head. Behind came Embry and Paul who were both laughing loudly.

It stunned y/n to hear both of their laughter, although she already knew them as nice, it broke their tough exterior. Soon as they realized y/n was there they both looked more stunned than her. Paul's face completely fell into a stern look. While Embry smiled at her happily.

“Oh hey y/n what a surpise! Good to see you so soon” Embry said as he made his way to the kitchen. Smirking as he brushed past grazing her chair slightly. Y/n and Paul locked eyes with each other “Hey” he said as she responded in a quieter voice “hey”.

Paul turned into the kitchen as y/n felt her heart beating rapidly. Emily and Sam sat with a satisfied look on their faces. Y/n hoped she would see him. She wondered if he would stay and visit or not.

Once he got his plate, he sat in what seemed to be the farthest seating placement there, hurridly devouring his food. Embry sat near him as everyone continued to eat. Quil wasn’t able to make it since he was with Claire. She had been sick the past week so he was busy with her. She wished he was here his presence eased her nerves.

Sitting there eating y/n couldn't ignore his presence. She could sense the intense energy rolling off not only Paul but the rest of the room. Looking up at everyone else they continued to eat like nothing.

Y/n could feel eyes burning right into her, she couldn't tell if it was either Embry, or Paul. Picking at her plate the thought of being watched affected her appetite. She wouldn’t be so nervous if she knew what this feeling was.

As soon as Paul finished he got up abruptly to put his dish away. Heading outside in a rushed manner. “Sam” he said glancing only once at him. Y/n could see the look in his eyes as the door shut harshly behind him. Making her jump up startled at the sound.

With a deep sigh Sam got up and placed his dish in the sink. “I'll be right back” he said with a reassuring smile. Y/n wondered what was up with Paul. But from everyone else's reaction it seemed no different.

“How about we play a few games? I have cards and dice we can use” Emily suggested making the group excited. “Let's play ten thousand hm?” She said as she pulled the dice out. “Alright I'll be taking bets” Embry rubbed his hands together as he pulled up a chair.

Everyone gathered at the kitchen table eager to play. Y/n's mind kept going back to Paul. What were him and Sam talking about? She'd hope her presence wasn't the issue for him. Why was she so over conscious of him?

The game barely started when Paul and Sam came back. Paul's look softened as he and Sam joined the table for a game. Considering how small and cozy Emily's was everyone was shoulder to shoulder.

Y/n sat between Kim and Leah, Embry sat to the left of Leah, Paul came towards the four of them. Looking down at Embry he just nodded and made space for him in between them. Only Leah separated the distance between y/n and Paul.

“Count me in” Paul said making Sam want to join in as well. Y/n glanced over to him, they looked at one another, briefly before he broke eye contact. Y/n sat back in her seat and just tried to focus on the game.

A few rounds were played before everyone warmed up. Conversations were flowing nicely among them. The guys were starting to get competitive after everyone got on the board. Jared was one of the last to get on the board.

Paul had racked up quite a few points, over three thousand in three rolls, all until Leah stole it from him which pissed him off. Time came for y/n to roll the dice and try to steal it also. Nervous she shook the dice with everyone watching intently.

Landing three hundred she cheered out of joy. Ooh’s and aah’s came out of everyone except Paul and Leah. “Okay Kim you better not lose the streak” Y/n said as she passed the dice. “See if we can make it a big win” Leah urged as Kim gulped nervously.

Shaking the dice everyone leaned in watching the them roll. With no points on any of the dice Kim sighed heavily. “Yes!” Y/n sat up in her seat excited to win, she laughed as she raised her arms in the air, everyone else looked at her in awe. Especially Paul who sat with his mouth agape in surprise.

“Wow y/n you’re at six thousand eight hundred now. Only a few more thousand for you to win” Emily said as she kept track of the points. “Alright if you guys keep it up I’ll win by the next two rounds” y/n teased making everyone else laugh or groan.

From then on it was intense all of them wanted to win. Each time the dice would hit something, like bumping their arms, or fall off the edge, Seth would shout out “interference!” As if it was an actual rule in the game.

Once more Paul won big, fifteen hundred in total, when the dice eventually passed to y/n Paul laughed. “Don’t go trying to steal my win again” he joked making her look at him.

She stayed quiet but had a smile on her face as she shook the dice. Letting them fly she only had two dice to try and win. Both landed and they were both fifty. Paul just threw his head back and groaned slightly.

“Your win?” She smirked as Emily jotted down her points. Paul shook his head in disbelief and amazement, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms. He had such a toothy grin which shocked everyone else.

“Damn Paul you’re usually a sore loser” Embry said as he raised an eyebrow. Paul’s smile instantly fell as he turned to look at him. “It’s just a game” he stated trying to shrug it off. But from everyone's reaction y/n could tell Paul usually reacts different.

“Just a game. Yeah right” Embry mocked Paul which made everyone nervous. Y/n watched Paul's nostrils flare, his shoulders tense up, it seemed everyone held their breath besides her. Letting out a slow inhale through his nose he just smiled slightly.

Y/n stifled a laugh making Paul and Embry turn to her. “It won’t be just a game when I win” she stated. Paul’s face softened once he gazed upon her. The game continuing once the next took his roll.

After a few rolls where almost everyone, except for Jared and Seth, gained little to no points. “It seems we ran out of luck” Leah joked since her roll she had no new points. Kim was getting more frustrated with each roll.

Eventually the game was won by Jared who was bragging immensely. “Teach you to doubt me” he kept repeating to everyone. Going up and beating his chest in front of each of the guys.

“Don't fuck around” he joked as embry just scowled and pushed him away “I need a bathroom break” Seth sighed as he got up from his chair defeated.

“Yeah let's take a short break” Emily suggested as the rest got up from the table. “I need a cigarette” Leah stood up grabbing a pack from her bra unapologetically. Stuffing it back once she pulled out one.

“Same” Jared stood up to join her “gotta celebrate my win somehow” he cheerily teased with a toothy grin. Embry and Seth fought over who could use the bathroom first. The rest just relaxed in their seats awaiting for the next round.

It was an awkward group of people in the moment. Y/n sat with Kim, Emily, Sam, and Paul, as they all looked at one another. Trying to see who would speak up first after everyone extroverted left.

Paul seemed like he was holding his breath, with his shoulders tense, y/n looked up at him. The two smiled slightly after their friendly competition. Paul opened his mouth to speak but was taken over by Emily. “I haven’t played this game in so long. How fun was that?” Y/n and Kim nodded in agreement as Paul sank back into his chair.

“Great game guys” Sam said but it only fuelled the awkward tension in the room. Paul didn’t say a word as he abruptly left to join the others. Everyone else fell quiet as Sam sighed deeply. “Guess we’ll change up the game?” Kim tried to joke as y/n gave a nervous smile.

After a few minutes Leah and Paul both came in but headed for the front door. “Sorry Em I gotta head out.” Paul said by the table. Emily sat up like she was wanting to argue against him.

Sam looked over at her with a soft but serious look in his eyes. Y/n noticed as she watched Emily calmly take a deep breath. A smile taking place of the complacent frown she wore. “Make sure you come back for movie night then” Emily asked as he nodded.

“Me too I gotta go with him. See ya” Leah insisted as she grabbed her leather jacket. Y/n was disappointed to see Paul leave so fast again. She wondered if he was truly busy or if something was bothering him.

Scanning his face she could see the two weren't lying. Paul looked back to see if Leah was following, meeting eyes with y/n briefly, he smiled and headed out the door. Everyone bidding them goodnight.

Emily invited y/n to their movie night on the weekend. This one would be a horror film that's yet to be decided. Jared eventually took the girls home once they were done visiting with everyone.

“Well that was boring” Kim sighed as she sinked into the car door. “I thought it was fun” y/n insisted from the back seat. “I mean I ain’t gonna lie that was pretty boring. Compared to what we usually do. But it’s hard when we’re constantly on call” Jared explained as he drove them home.

Kim said she’d plan for next time since it was a tame night. But y/n was just happy to have seen Paul weirdly enough. Everything else that happened was just extra. Next plan was going to “be a surprise” as Kim explained.

Y/n sat on the couch staring outside watching the rain pour down. It had been a few days since they were at Emily's. Kim was gone for the day with Jared, which was strange for y/n, she hadn't been alone since Kim came to stay. Now she was right back to the feeling of isolation and unease.

She didn't think she could become so codependent on Kim. But it seemed when she was around the dreams stopped. The weird energy around her stopped as well. Like a ball of protection was wrapped around her. Now as she sat here she couldn't shake the feeling of being watched over.

There was nothing in the treeline, she would know, since she had been watching for the past hour now. She felt like a pet waiting for its owner to come back. A pathetic feeling she wished to get rid of. But her eyes were glued to watching any movement and action in the trees.

Breaking out of it to look at the time it was barely one in the afternoon. There was still a whole day to kill by herself until Kim arrived. Quil had been busy with Claire as of late and already she knew he was busy. Emily's house was always over taken by the guys and the thought of seeing Paul made her nervous.

Although it'd wouldn’t be the worst to see them. But there was a curiosity of hers that she wishes was answered. All of the guys including Quil work security. Y/n wasn’t quite sure on what their roles and responsibilities were. All that she was given was vague answers about what they did.

She knew their jobs kept them busy and they hardly had any breaks. From what she saw they all looked like they could handle it all. With no signs of fatigue they were an overly active bunch. Thinking back to when she was at the beach with them. Her question was what they truly did to be so busy.

Deciding to get up and do something she worked on her latest painting. Fixing her focus to something productive instead of spiralling. Putting in a few hours before working up an appetite. She didn't feel like cooking in all honesty. Opting to go into town for a solo date with herself.

Driving down the wet roads as rain came shimmering down. It wasn’t extremely bad out to be travelling. She knew she didn't wanna be cooped up in her house alone. Anything else than being too alone with her thoughts would be a better option.

Wanting to go eat alone she headed to one of Forks few restaurants. Feeling comfortable to be seen alone there than the diner. Sitting alone at the Rez diner would have everyone gossiping faster than wildfire. She sat down, ordered her food, and pulled out her book to pass time.

The bustling atmosphere of people made her at ease. Hoping to run into someone familiar or new. Once her food came life was instantly better. Kim said she'd be home soon so all she had to do was enjoy herself and eat.

Although the food was delicious she had a familiar feeling in her gut. It felt like tv static, a fuzzy almost itchy feeling, it made her hairs on her body rise. Looking at the clock she still had time to kill.

Even though her stomach was feeling off she still debated having dessert. Considering she had no choice but to take her time. Flipping through to the back at the menu. Deciding on what to order she closed the menu only to see a smiling Renesmee. “Hi” her sweet voice spoke out startling y/n half to death.

“Renesmee?” She choked out as the girl laughed. “Caught you by suprise again?” She asked as y/n nodded with a furrowed brow. Renesmee hardly ever made noise, she didn't even sense her presence, despite how close she was. It made y/n feel unsettled immediately and the static feeling over take.

“I seen you across the road as I was walking. Figure I come say hi while you’re here… eating” Renesmee smiled innocently. “Ah how nice of you. Are you uh— hungry? I can order something if you'd like. Take my menu” y/n offered trying to be considerate. It felt she had to somehow appease her each time they met. Renesmee only shook her head slightly disagreeing.

“I have something better waiting for me. Don't worry” she assured but to y/n her sweet demeanour came off as sickly. It felt like the air turned sour the moment she sat down y/n thought. Like a strong scented perfume that stifles the air.

“Where are you headed after this? Home I bet” Renesmee stated as if she knew matter of fact. Y/n hesitated to answer so she lied instead. “No no I have still have a few errands to run. What are you up to?” Y/n realized how nervous she sounded. The slight shake in her own voice seemed to appeal to the girl.

Renesmee sat smiling for a moment as she slowly leaned in. Eyes trailing down her neck to her chest. Making y/n's heart beat quicken steadily with dread. “I'm just out and about seeing if I can find new friends. Then I seen you sitting here. We haven't spoken much since I last seen you”

“Yeah well I've been busy I'm sure you're busy with school and what not”

“Sure. How's that book of yours? Learn something new?” Renesmee looked her dead in the eye. Y/n felt trapped staring into her golden brown eyes. She gulped nervously unintentionally, making the corners of Renesmee's mouth curl up, y/n felt her self go into defense mode.

Thinking back to what she learned in the books, about huge shape shifting wolves, and weird vampires. All the information she read and remembered. “On second thought let me look at the menu. I'm eager for something sweet” Renesmee's hand reached for it.

As their hands brushed against one another flash of red filled y/n's vision. Visions of blood dripping into water glimmering. Sharp teeth peering out of both red stained lips and snarling animals. Y/n pulled her hand back as Renesmee sat with her lips still curled up. Cold beads of sweat dripping down y/n’s face and neck.

“Good evening girls” a voice boomed from the side of them making them turn their heads. Billy Black was rolling up to the table with a stern but fierce look in his eyes. Y/n didn't realize how long she was holding her breath until he came. Sucking life back into her she sat up. The air no longer stifling and sour.

The expression on Renesmee's face fell flat as she looked at him. Taken by surprise she hung her head low. Y/n could see the serious and stern look in Billy's eyes. “Billy” the girl said as she straightened her posture.

“Good to see you sir” y/n replied as he somewhat smiled and nodded at her. Y/n felt utter relief with him near for some reason. “Y/n, how's your grandma doing?” He politely asked continuing to stare down Renesmee. She slowly curled into herself with what looked like shame.

“She's doing great”

“That's good” After he replied a moment of brief silence fell over them. “Renesmee, what are you doing out so late? You should be at home with Jacob” he said as she lifted her head to look up at him. Y/n sat with her heart beat pounding.

“I'm having dinner with my friend here. I'll come back in—” Renesmee tried to dismiss him until Billy cut her off. “Did you want me to give you a ride home? Or should I call Jacob to come get you” holding his ground Renesmee didn't take long to break.

“A-Alright” she said standing up to go with him. Billy sat with a satisfied look as he waited for her to leave first. Looking back at y/n with a soft reassuring smile. Y/n watched Renesmee leave with what seemed like guilt and regret.

“I gotta get this girl home. I’m sure her parents are looking for her also. You and your grandmother take care now” Billy nodded his hat at y/n. Rolling past he slipped his hand over the table. Leaving behind a fifty dollar bill to cover her order. Before she could even say thank you the two left out the door into the parking lot.

Y/n fell back into her seat feeling breathless. This town seemed so strange from what she remembered of it. The longer she stayed the longer she felt it was weirder here. Instantly grabbing her phone to text Kim and make sure she was back. For some reason she felt the urge to cry but stifled it.

Driving home it was getting to be evening now. The rain was coming down heavier than it was earlier. But nothing she couldn't handle. Using music to calm her down from the situation earlier. Why must she come across Renesmee each time she left the house?

Getting back home y/n was greeted by Kim upon arrival. “Hey! Where were you I texted you a long time ago you didn't answer?” She insisted as y/n realized she hadn't checked her phone since she left. “Sorry I was driving. What's up?” Y/n asked as suddenly Emily strolled down the stairs nonchalantly.

“Emily?” She questioned as Emily smiled wide. “Y/n! What a nice place you have. I didn't mean to barge in but Kim invited me over” Emily said as Kim nodded her head. Coming in for a hug the two embraced tightly. Comforting her exactly how she needed she gripped Emily harder than she meant to. Emily stifled a laugh before y/n let go. “Good to see you” y/n smiled trying to brush it off.

“She wanted to come see the place and I figured you wouldn't mind” She smiled slightly nervous. “Yeah of course I don't mind. Welcome Emily. I uh just wish I checked my phone earlier. I just came from town I could've brought something back” y/n offered. Trying to make Emily feel comfortable in the house.

“I made dinner already me and her ate. Did you eat? I saved you some” Kim asked making y/n flash back to the intense energy named Renesmee. She paused before agreeing, dropping her purse abruptly onto the chair, Emily and Kim jumped back with their eyebrows up.

“Yeah I just came from town. Had a quick bite to uh.. to eat” y/n gripped the chair as she leaned against it. Thinking of Renesmees empty smile. Emily and Kim both looked at one another before continuing. Noticing something was bothering y/n.

“Come sit” Kim guided y/n and Emily to the couches. Hoping to pry out what was the matter with y/n. Y/n sighed deeply as she sunk back into the couch. Seeing the two comfortable Kim sat and awaited for the right time to pry.

“So how have you been? Busy?” Emily asked y/n eagerly with a smile. Y/n shrugged her shoulders as Emily came over with hot cups of tea. “Somewhat now that this girl is here” Y/n teased Kim who sat faintly blushing.

“Well~” Emily trailed on as she sipped on her cup of tea. Awaiting for y/n's curiosity to kick in. “Yes?” She asked as Emily and Kim looked at one another with glee.

“You know how I work down at the school right? The principal is trying to invest in traditional art for the school. She wants a mural out on the basketball court. It's on the highschools side and they're looking for an artist…”

“Oh really? That's great they're investing in art—”

“I ended up giving them your name and now they want your phone number”

“Uh—wait what? Really?”

“I showed them your website and pages also so they're very eager to hire you. My boss wants an answer by this Monday” Emily excitedly finished clasping her hands together under her chin. Kim copied her as the two sat with pleading eyes.

Y/n sat amazed at the thought of Emily doing this. In all honesty y/n was worried about her money. Moving costed her a pretty penny. And she wasn't sure when she'd get a commission again.

“Awe I appreciate it Emily. Really. If you can give me a number I'll get in contact”

Emily squealed with excitement as she clasped her hands together. Kim just looked at her with a smug face. “There your plan finally worked” Kim teased her.

“What plan” Y/n asked as the two just shook their heads. “It's just— Working at the school I don't get to see much of my friends. I got my co-workers, they’re all cool, but it'd be nice to be around someone familiar y'know?” Emily explained glancing over to Kim.

“I appreciate it Em you surprised me. But I'm excited I haven't done a mural in about 2 years. This will be fun” y/n said with full honesty. If she got this job it'd benefit her immensely. Money had been tight with moving and other expenses.

“Ugh I'm so happy! Kim said you'd say yes but I was so nervous to ask” Emily sighed with relief shoulders relaxing. It wasn't surprising to y/n that she was seen as intimidating. It was sweet of Emily to think of her this way.

“Should we carpool?”

“I would but I have my own car. I don’t think you’ll be able to fit all of my supplies anyways, unless you wanna risk it, I might get paint in your car” Y/n explained. “Oh god no! Please no Sam just bought me this car I can't get paint in it at all” Emily desperately sighed.

Kim sat for a moment gazing at y/n which she noticed. “Are you sure you're okay? You seem off” Kim sat with her head tilted slightly. Y/n was stiff until she exhaled what she didn't realize she was holding in.

“I was feeling stressed earlier… Just about the basic struggles y'know? I dunno...” y/n sat leaning against the couch head in her hand. Emily and Kim frowned seeing her distress. Snapping out of it she sat up smiling softly.

“But I'm feeling way better with you guys here” in all honesty she was glad to have company. She wanted to speak about Renesmee, about her dreams, but she hesitated. Moving on to lighter conversation since Emily was visiting.

By the next week y/n was hired, after getting vetted by the school, all went smoothly. Until she was asked to get the opinions from students. Meaning having to go to each class and ask what they want on the walls.

Admittedly she probably wouldn't have taken the job if she knew before hand. Having to go and ask moody teens who don't even want to be bothered. Not exactly what she had in mind but a jobs a job.

Although it was a bit awkward at first towards the end she got familiar with everyone. Considering she'll be here for a good month hopefully less. By the last class she felt ready to start designing.

One girl sat at the back of the class, like most rez kids she dressed in all back, a baggy hoodie and sweatpants. Her hood was over her head. She sat scribbling on her pad while glancing back outside constantly. As if she were waiting or watching out for something.

She took notice but moved on eventually. The girl felt familiar in a sense to y/n. Or at least intriguing maybe she was an artist as well.

As the week passed y/n found herself outside majority of the day. She had access to the cafeteria and teachers lounge thankfully. She never went to school here so it gave her insight on what it was like.

The girl with the hoodie kept coming by her on her breaks. Everytime she'd just come stand a distance away, simply watching y/n worked, everytime y/n called out to her she'd leave. She figured she was shy like the rest of the rez kids.

Y/n stood on a ladder painting when the bell rang signaling the end of the day. The kids flooding out the building in packs to leave. Y/n figured she'd stay until the teachers left before leaving also. As she looked around in the distance she could see the familiar girl.

At this point even when she wore a hood she could spot her. She stood by the far treeline obviously nervous. Stopping to watch y/n felt her body go into a cold sweat. Despite the cold air nipping at her in the breeze.

The hairs on her neck stood and she recognized the familiar feeling almost instantly. Sure enough out from the trees like a vision Renesmee strolled out. Approaching the young girl in the hood, she wrapped an arm around her, before the two walked deep into the trees.

Y/n was practically shaking with what seemed like worry. Since when did Renesmee befriend rez girls? Why would she even be here especially at this hour. Y/n leaned forward trying to see where they went when she felt her ladder shift.

“What are you doing?!”

Someone grabbed the end of her ladder as a voice boomed out. She jumped startled quickly gripping the sides of the ladder. Looking down to see a bewildered Paul holding her ladder steady.

“Jesus you scared me!” Y/n clutched her chest as she caught her breath. Feeling relieved to see it was just him. He shook his head as he looked upset at her. “You mean you scared me. Seriously what the hell are you doing way up there? You could've fell over just now” he scolded sternly as she climbed down.

“Well sorry but I'm just doing my job” y/n pointed up to the wall which only had sketches of the design so far. Only a few spots were painted as Paul gazed upon it. “What job?” He asked curious as he continued to stare at the design.

“Oh! Um well I've been paid to paint murals on the walls here. Apparently the school needs more art so here I am” she said a bit nervous realizing she was with Paul. He stood with his arms crossed showing off his muscles. She couldn't help but notice his veins popping out also.

“Wait what are you doing here? Just got out of class?” She teased him actually making him smile. He shook his head “Nah I just came to pick up my idiot brothers” he nodded his head behind him towards his truck. Two heads sat low in the back of the seat before peering out at her.

“Guess they can't ride the bus until they smarten up. Then I seen you here teetering off your ladder” he teased making her flush pink. “You could've really hurt yourself y’know?” She could sense the concern in his voice which surprised her.

“I know I’ll be careful in the future. Thanks for the help—”

“Y/n?”

Leah chimed in suddenly coming out the doors. Paul groaned and mumbled low under his breath “Great she's here”. Emily followed behind her coming to greet them also. Which Paul met with another groan before clasping his hand on his face.

“Oh hey guys!” y/n piped up as Emily smiled and Leah rolled her eyes at Paul. “Hey so I wanted to show Leah what you were working on” Y/n happily pointed with her arms to the wall. “Yeah that and my stupid brothers got into a fight again” Leah looked over y/n’s shoulders to the truck. Turning around to see Seth and another boy waving from the back seat.

“But it looks nice so far” Leah offered up as the three of them stared up confused. “Its not even close to done yet, I’m busy just mapping out everything, I’ll be here for a good month anyways with how long it’ll take” y/n laughed as they all relaxed.

“Yep so I’ll have y/n close by me for now” Emily reached her arms around y/n who hugged back. Emily looked up at Paul who just silently nodded. Y/n noticed as Paul looked back at her. Two loud truck honks broke the moment as Leah and Paul both sighed. “Fucken guys” Paul grunted as he shook his head.

“Great work but we gotta go before these shit asses take off on us” Leah said. “Yeah but I’m sure it’ll turn out amazing” Paul said as Leah patted y/n’s back. The two bidding their leave as they headed to the truck.

Emily turned towards y/n “So are you free tomorrow? It’s Friday after all so we’re planning to hang at my place. Wanna come?” She invited y/n who was more than happy at the offer. “Sure just let me know if I should bring anything” this made Emily scoff and laugh. “Y’know you don’t have to do that by now. Just bring yourself—unless you wanna invite someone the more the merrier” Y/n shook her head with a smile.

Y/n and her headed inside to get the rest of their things to leave. She thought back to seeing Renesmee with the girl in the hood. How Renesmee even turned back at her, it seemed like she knew y/n was watching, it made her wonder why she’d even be here. Shrugging it off she continued on like usual.

The b*tch is back with the long awaited chapter 4 😭 no excuses for how long it’s been omg. But here we are back at it. To explain I’ve rewritten the half of this chapter about 3-4 times. And the plot line changed around that much also once I added a few ideas. I’ve been more focused on world building with this chapter. To get a good sense of the environment and the setting so far. Hope everyone enjoys and tunes in for the next chapters. Lots more to come 🤍🙌

[matts-girlfriend]

It’s You I Welcome Death With- Chris Sturniolo

TattooArtist!Chris and MakeupArtist!Reader

chapter 15

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

warning this series will contain, substance abuse, angst, arguing,tension,swearing, mentions of absent family, blood, abuse (not from chris). smut, oral, this is a warning for all chapters

He left the house without looking back.

Didn’t say a word to her stepdad. Didn’t glance at the room they were just in. Didn’t breathe until he hit the street and the cold air slapped him in the face like a fucking reminder.

He lost. Again.

She meant it.

That whole speech, his whole fucking soul on display and she still looked at him with those glassy eyes and said,

“I think we need to just be friends.”

He let out a breath that sounded like a laugh, but it wasn’t funny.

Nothing was fucking funny.

He got in the car, gripping the wheel like it might steady him. Like it could hold him together when everything else was splitting at the seams.

His jaw ached from clenching it too tight.

“Friends,” he muttered, mocking her voice under his breath like a bitter asshole. “Sure. Fucking besties.”

But it didn’t help. Didn’t clear his head. Didn’t fix the feeling in his chest like something was sitting there heavy, unmovable.

It was her.

That look in her eyes when she said it—“I think we need to just be friends.”

She didn’t cry. Didn’t yell. Just said it with this quiet, tired finality that fucking wrecked him.

His hands gripped the steering wheel so tight the leather creaked. For a second, he just sat there, the engine off, staring at his own reflection in the rearview.

He looked like hell.

And all he could think was — What the fuck did I just do?

How did it get here?

He tried to rewind the moment in his head. Back to the moment he followed her up to the office, her hand brushing his arm like she needed him to shut up and just walk. The way she acted so normal in front of her stepdad — eyes flat, voice steady. Like she’d practiced being fine.

He didn’t say anything till the door shut behind them. He couldn’t.

But the second they were alone, she turned to him with that look guard up, voice sharp, and asked, “Why are you here, Chris?”

And he told her. All of it. The truth, finally. That he didn’t mean what he said in the hotel. That he got scared and bluffed and said shit he didn’t mean because feelings real ones weren’t part of the plan. Not for him. Not for her.

And she just looked at him like he was a stranger.

She talked about how from her side, it felt like a fucking joke. He was gone in the morning, and when she walked out, she heard him talking shit about her to his brother.

He tried to explain — tried to tell her he didn’t mean it, that he was trying to protect something, maybe himself, maybe her, he didn’t fucking know. But she scoffed like she’d already heard it all before.

She said they were stupid for even thinking it could work.

And then she said the worst part — “You don’t know me.”

And that… that was when something snapped.

Because he did know her.

He knew that her favorite color was green not just because it looked good on her, but because she said if the world could only be one color, she’d want it to be green. Said it felt like hope.

He knew she loved makeup, sure. But he also knew she wanted to be a social worker. That she didn’t talk about it much because she didn’t think she was smart enough or stable enough or enough, period. But she wanted to help kids like her. Like Ava.

He knew she blamed herself every time that asshole stepfather of hers so much as looked at Ava wrong. Knew she carried the weight like it was her fault. Knew she’d burn the whole world down to protect her little sister, even if it meant burning herself in the process.

And he told her all of that.

Said it right to her face.

And then he watched as she blinked — just once. A tear slipped out, quick. But she didn’t crumble. She didn’t break. She just looked at him like maybe, maybe for one second, she believed him.

And then she said it.

“I think we need to just be friends.”

No yelling. No drama. Just those words, soft and final.

And Chris nodded.

He fucking nodded.

Because what else was he supposed to do? Get on his knees? Beg?

He wasn’t the guy who begged. He never had been.

But now, sitting in his car with his fists clenched and his throat tight, he was starting to think maybe he would’ve.

If she asked.

Because now, after all of it, the weight hit him full force.

He didn’t just care about her.

He didn’t just want her.

He was in love with her.

Fuck.

He let out a breath that sounded like it got punched out of him.

“I’m in love with her,” he muttered. Like saying it out loud would make it less terrifying. Less real.

But it didn’t.

It just made him feel sick.

Because he was in love with a girl who wanted to be friends.

A girl who didn’t trust him anymore. Who probably never would.

He started the engine, knuckles white on the wheel.

No music. No noise.

Just the sound of his world quietly coming apart.

a/n: i feel gutted.

taglist:

@courta13 @m4gz-png @lezleeferguson-120

@h3arts4nat @izzylovesmatt @sturnioliolo @hsemeria @sturniqloo

@venusbabysblog @chrisslut04 @crazy4weeed @chriscokewhore @chrisswaffles @urfavvvnyasee @sturnzluv @freshluvr @mattthemunchh @poolover123 @pleasantdelusionbear @carpentersturns @emosexyvirgin @emillionaireee @shamelessmilkshakefest @xoxochrissgf @sturniolodollx @joyfulheartwhispers @cutseylady @oopsiedaisydeer @steph1106

@laylaluvsu2000 @lvrsturniolo @chloe444 @yamommmasman @55sturn @whenlovesaround @luvs-booksss @vampyyluv @snowysosturn @moth-feeet @mx7ka @amb-3-r @ncm9696 @alinagrace11 @cherryystemm @bblbilly @d3vwrlds @chrismybouncyhouse @emeraldsturns

[punkrockmlchael]

Drunk in Love

Masterlist | Fred Hechinger Characters Masterlist

Customer: @medievalharlot

Order: double scoop of cookies and cream with crushed oreos

Ingredients: 18+ mdni, Fem!Reader x Jason Hochberg, Two Dorks Talking about Feelings, Drunken Confession, Smut: Making out, Unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it), Riding Jason, Masturbation... kinda (fem), Creampie, Jason kind of doesn't know what he's doing but it's okay

Total: $23.00 (2300 words)

Order note from the scooper (Jason): "Hi, Kia! Thank you for your order! I had so much fun with this one so here's your double scoop of cookies and cream ice cream with crushed oreos on top! I see you like oreos, hm? Please, come back soon and get some more ice cream from us! Oh, and, uh, you're like really pretty..."

Check out our ice cream parlor here!!

Huge thank you to @keeryhours , @bumblebeeswrite , @glassbxttless and @swiftieintheupsidedown for reading this over for me!

Counselor Weekend was always a party. The camp rules were no drinking, no smoking and no partying but that really didn’t stop anyone, especially the younger counselors. 

You were kind of in the middle this year. Not as young as the new counselors but not as old as the returning lead counselor, Jason. You were fresh into your 20s with a lot of hope for this summer. You understood all of the hip lingo and jokes from the younger counselors, but you also understood Jason’s jokes and his struggle to fit in. It didn’t help that over the past few summers here at Camp Pineway you had sort of developed a… soft spot for Jason and all of his quirks and habits. And he definitely had a mutual feeling towards you; he just would never admit that out loud. At least, not sober. 

And, as much as you loved Jason for who he was, you wanted to help him get out of his shell and connect more with the younger counselors. You’re still surprised you got him here… sitting around the bonfire with the other counselors, a beer bottle in his hand. He was nursing it, for sure, not really wanting to admit how much he liked being able to kick back and relax a bit. You sat beside Jason on a log, laughing at all the stupid jokes he was making. 

“I thought you said you could handle your alcohol?” You asked, elbowing him gently. It was well past midnight at this point and all the other counselors had gone their own ways (whether to make out, get lucky or crawl into bed). You and Jason just continued to sit by the bonfire, watching the flames slowly die out in the cool summer air. 

“I totally can,” Jason mumbled, a hint of a slur in his words as he finished his third beer of the night. He wasn’t drunk yet, but he was definitely feeling a slight buzz from the alcohol he had consumed throughout the night. “I’m a pro at drinking.”

You smiled, looking up at him. “Looks like it! That’s why it looks like I might have to carry you to your bed.” You teased, watching a small smile form on his lips.

Jason shook his head, setting the beer bottle down on the ground next to him. “No, trust me, I got this,” he smiled fully, standing up slowly. He was a bit uneasy on his feet, stumbling a bit before you stood up after him. 

“Really, Jason, it’s totally okay if you can’t.” You reassured him, walking alongside him. “I am here to help, oh wise head counselor.” You said, giggling at the side eye glance he gave you. “What?” You asked, “Camp Pineway needs their amazing head counselor, Jason Hochberg. I don’t think I could sleep tonight knowing that he didn’t make it to his bed safe and sound.” 

You helped Jason towards his cabin, watching him only stumble a couple of times. You helped him up the short few steps and into the cabin before he stumbled towards his bed.

“You’re too nice to me,” Jason sighed, breathing out your name before he fell back into his bed.

He turned towards you slowly, looking up at you. “Everyone else would have just left me and laughed at me but you… you’re actively trying to make sure I’m okay. And that I fit in with the others. Fuck, you’re just,” he paused for a moment, looking you over slowly. “You’re perfect. I love you—I… I mean it. I love it. I love that you’re so nice to me and helping me and it makes me just feel like I actually do fit in,” Jason rambled on, looking at your face before he yawned and closed his eyes. His hands grabbed yours gently as he pulled you down onto the bed next to him. He sighed softly, snuggling up behind you as his arms wrapped around your waist. “Thank you,” he said softly, his breath tickling the back of your neck gently. 

Your face contorted in confusion slowly as you turned around in his arms, facing him. “What did you just say?” You asked softly, pushing his hair out of his face gently. 

“Just said thank you,” he shrugged, looking at you. He leaned into your touch slightly, the feeling bringing a sense of peace and calm to him that he rarely had nowadays. 

“No, there was more,” you giggled softly, leaning towards him. “Something like… you love me?” You inquired.

Jason watched you, biting his lip softly as he opened his mouth to say something before he closed it soon after. You shifted slightly, your hand moving to rest on his cheek softly. He leaned into your touch again but closed his eyes, avoiding eye contact with you. “I didn’t… say that,” he mumbled.

“Oh, but you did,” you said, looking at him. “You said you love me,” you added, giggling slightly.

“Yeah, okay, so what if I did?” Jason mumbled, looking at you. “I have had the biggest crush on you since we met a couple summers ago… but, it’s not like you love me back, or even like me for that matter.”

“Says who?” You asked softly, resting your head on the pillow gently. “Jason—look at you. Why wouldn’t I like you?”

“Yeah, look at me. Why would you like me?” He rambled slightly. “I mean, I’m not exactly the coolest guy out there. I’m twenty-four and still go to summer camp. I'm kind of awkward, I’m a loser… no one even wants me here.”

“I want you here.” You whispered, leaning closer to him. “Jason, you’re literally the coolest person I know. You always make everything that you can as fun as possible, your jokes are hilarious and you care so much about everything that you do. You are literally the definition of the coolest guy out there.”

Jason shook his head, his cheeks and neck turning a slight shade of pink as he looked at you. “But there’s Chris… and Bobby…”

“Douchebags,” you nodded, looking at Jason. “You truly are one of the sweetest guys I have ever met.”

“You’re just saying that because you have to.”

You shook your head, looking at him. You sat up slowly, moving towards him as he laid on the bed. You moved to his lap, straddling his waist gently as your hand pushed his hair out of his face again. “You think I have to say that? I don’t, really. I don’t have to say anything to you. But I am, because it’s all true.”

Jason’s breath hitched slightly as you moved on top of him. You leaned closer to him, looking at him as he gulped slightly. 

“Are you sure?” He asked softly.

“Positive.” You stared down at Jason, smiling slightly as he looked up at you with a nervous smile. His hands found your hips gently, resting there as he repositioned himself into a sitting position with you in his lap. Your knees rested on the bed beside his thighs as your body moved closer to his.

“What’re you doing?” He asked softly, his face moving closer to yours as your arms snaked around his neck. Your fingers toyed with the hair on the back of his neck gently as you leaned closer, so close your lips were almost touching. 

“Nothing,” you muttered, smiling at him. “Just, hanging out,” you giggled softly.

“Just hanging out, hm?” He asked, his hands trailing up your sides gently. They ghosted over the fabric of your hoodie before slowly moving under your hoodie, touching your bare skin. 

“Mhm,” you hummed softly, gasping slightly at the feeling of his fingers on your skin. You looked at him and smiled, leaning closer to finally close the gap. Your lips pressed against his softly, your fingers continuing to play with his soft hair as you did so. Jason smiled into the kiss, his hands pushing your hoodie up slowly.

You pulled away from the kiss and slid your hoodie off, tossing it to the side before you leaned back down and kissed him again. He smiled, kissing you back as his hands continued to move up and down your sides slowly. “You’re perfect,” he mumbled against your lips, deepening the kiss slightly.

“Says you,” you mumbled, pulling away from the kiss. You tugged his shirt up, pulling it up and over his head before you discarded it in the same pile as your sweatshirt. Your lips trailed down his jaw and neck, leaving soft and sweet kisses over every inch of his body that you could. You moved your body slightly, accidentally rubbing your clothed core against his growing bulge.

A small gasp escaped Jason’s lips as his head fell back against the wall. Your name fell from his lips, a cross between a moan and whine as his hands moved back to your hips. “Fuck.”

You smiled, trailing more kisses down his chest as your hands fumbled with his belt carefully. You pulled away slightly, looking at him, “is this okay?” You asked softly. Jason nodded rapidly, watching your every move.

“Yes, fuck, more than okay. This is great, this is perfect, actually.” He mumbled, nodding more. You giggled softly at his response before you undid his belt and his shorts, tugging them down slowly. His erection sprung free, hitting his lower stomach with a soft thud as a small hiss left him from the cool air. You stood up, pushing your jeans to the floor quickly. Jason watched you stand up, his hands reaching out for yours. “Come back,” he muttered, pulling you back to his lap carefully. 

“I’m not leaving,” you giggled, kissing his lips again as your hands moved to behind your back, unhooking your bra. You slid it off of your shoulders and tossed it to the side of his bed. Pulling away from the kiss, you looked at him. “Trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You sure?” Jason asked, his eyes trailing over your bare chest as your hips began grinding into his slowly. He whined loudly, his hands moving to your waist, his grip tight and possessive as he helped you move against his erection. 

“Positive,” you breathed out, your clothed core continuing to rub against him. “Not going anywhere,” you mumbled, looking up at him. You sat up on your knees carefully, pushing your panties to the side gently before hovering over his cock. You teased him, sliding his tip through your slick folds slowly. Jason groaned pathetically as you slowly sunk down onto him until you were fully seated on him.

“Shit,” he moaned out your name as his grip on your waist stayed. “Is this really happening?” He asked, closing his eyes at the feeling of you around him.

“Really happening,” you mumbled. You moved your hips slightly, lifting off of him before you sunk back down, moaning out softly. “Jesus, Jason,” you sighed, your hands moving to his shoulder gently. 

“Hm?” He asked, watching you continue your movements. His eyes widened as you bounced a bit faster, your breasts moving each time. “Fuck, you’re so hot.” His hands slid up your sides hesitantly, stopping right next to your breasts. He stared at you, mesmerized with each and every movement you made.

“You can touch them, you know?” You suggested, leaning in to kiss his lips softly. He groaned against them, kissing you back as his hands slowly moved over your breasts. He rested his hands on them carefully, afraid he might break you. “Come on, Jason,” you mumbled, biting his bottom lip. “I promise you’re not going to hurt me.” 

Jason moaned into the kiss, gasping as your tongue slipped into his mouth to explore every inch. He squeezed your breasts lightly, his tongue slowly moving against yours as you continued to move up and down on his cock. Your speed increased, moving up and down rapidly as he pulled away from the kiss. His head fell back against the wall, moaning loudly as his hips bucked up involuntarily. “Hm, fuck, gonna cum,” he mumbled, squeezing your breasts again. 

“Yeah?” You whined softly, moving your dominant hand down between your legs. Your middle finger and ring finger found your clit, rubbing tight and small circles on it as you moaned his name loudly. Jason opened his eyes, looking at you up and down. He moaned loudly, watching you use him for your own pleasure while your fingers made quick work on your clit. That sight alone was not only going to be burned in his memory (along with your moans), but that was enough to bring him over the edge.

“Fuck,” Jason whined, your name leaving his lips rapidly as he thrusted up inside of you. He shot rope after rope of hot cum inside of you, groaning as he felt you clench around him tightly. His hands moved down to your waist, gripping it tightly as he kept you in place. You moaned his name, your head falling back gently as you released around him.

After a few minutes you sighed, your head falling into his neck gently. Once you caught your breath, you placed soft kisses against his skin, his grip slowly releasing from your waist as his arms slid around your body instead. “That was, wow,” you mumbled, looking at him. “You need to drink more often.”

Jason hummed, looking at you. “Maybe you just need to help me into bed more often?” He teased, placing a soft kiss on the side of your head. 

“You know,” you mumbled, leaning closer to him, “that could probably be arranged,” you smiled, placing a soft and sweet kiss against his lips. Jason smiled, kissing you back as he pulled you closer to him.

“I’d love that.” 

jason hochberg taglist: wanna join? click the form here! ; @medievalharlot ; @alexa0813 ; @yearsbecomingcool ; @bumblebeeswrite ; @janis01127 ; @samslvrgirl ; @iitsmandii

[forsaken-headcanons]

Hiii first time here ( dont mind my grammer) Some Bluududs head cannons -Bluududs fav food is waffles n icecream he tried them with 118o8 for the first time n loved it. -bluudud likes sharks A LOT (kinda like vox frm hazbin hotel ) -bluudud uses "chat is this real?" a lot irl than he should its kinda like a coping mechanism for him..- -whn bluudud recently started killing the survivors he was brain washed but he realized what he was doing in the middle of the round and just became paralyzed for a few minutes trying to pull himself together and just continued killing but the survivors could tell he was NOT okay...The more spectre brain washed him the more the affects didnt last the spectre realized he was still killing ppl without needing brain washed so hes the only who isnt brain washed out of c00lkid him n prettyprincess (idk how to spell her name) -the survivors find bluudud the most menacing put of the 3 (c00lkid n pretty princess bluudud) mainly because of his terrifying smile -when bluudud doesnt feel like killing the survivors the spectre makes him hear his mom whispering to kill the survivors he also feels immense pain of the car crash he got before getting forsakened right after it happened forcing him to kill the survivors...SPECTRE WHN I FIND YOU thats all for now also what does an "Anon" mean? AND WHY AM I SO SCARED OF SUBMITTING THIS now or never ig THANKU SO MUCH FOR LISTENING TO ME RAMBLE BAIIIIIIIIIIII

HELLO!! WELCOME TO THE BLOG!! gonna answer your question first here—anon is basically anonyumous, aka the "ask anonymously" switch you probably saw at the bottom of the textbox! basically, anon names are there for ask-oriented blogs like this one to be able to differentiate different anons/people ! :D sincerely hope this helps!

ANYWHO ONTO YOUR HCS!! BLUUDUD HCS OUR BELOVEDDD /POS /POS we like to think he uses "chat" more often than he usually does to at least remember his actual chat from when he used to stream 💔💔 holding him. holding him so clsoe. ogyh.

oh. oh our baby. oh goodness dear no. he. HE DOESN'T HAVE THE PYROVISION?? DUDE.....💔 SPECTRE. SPECTREEEE.... GETTING ITS ASS RN DON'T YOU WORRY /sillyhsjhd BYE TO YOU TOO!!! HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN ! :D

[silverynight]

A nest for pups

Tanjirou wakes up with the urge to make a nest; it's a bit weird since he just got his heat about a week ago, but the need is so strong he doesn't even question it.

It's easier to make a nest now that he's mated to all the Pillars; they always keep scented clothes in his room, and at least one of them is always available for cuddles.

The omega arranges the nest as he usually does, but he notices that there's something wrong; he needs another futon now because he wants a bigger nest this time.

Although he's not sure why.

A bit confused, he goes to Aoi to ask for another futon, and when he explains to the beta girl why he needs it, she looks back at him with curiosity.

"Can I do a quick check up, Tanjirou? Your cheeks look a bit pink."

He agrees, wondering for a moment if he's sick, but then, as he sits in front of Aoi and she makes sure his body temperature is normal; he remembers when he helped his mother to make her third nest for pups.

He's probably... no, he shouldn't jump to that conclusion immediately; he doesn't want to get his hopes up.

"Yes, that's exactly what I thought," Aoi mumbles to herself after touching Tanjirou's belly lightly and rubbing his scent glands a bit to have a better idea of how much his scent has changed. "You're pregnant, Tanjirou."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. We've had plenty of pregnant omegas in the butterfly estate with the same symptoms as you. The need to make a big nest is a clear telltale sign."

Trying not to tear up, Tanjirou beams, pulling Aoi into his arms.

"Can you keep the secret? I want to surprise my mates!"

She seems genuinely happy for him when she smiles back and nods.

"Of course, Tanjirou."

"Thank you!"

He sends a message to Ubuyashiki, who not only is very pleased with the news, he also agrees to keep Tanjirou's secret and even call a hashira meeting himself so the Pillars don't suspect a thing.

The omega immediately finds his sister and tells her everything; the demon girl understands enough and seems quite happy after Tanjirou tells her what's going on.

Between the two of them, they manage to bring another futon to Tanjirou's room and gather as many of his own clothes and the Pillars' to make the biggest nest the omega has ever made.

He's not sure how many pups he'll have, but he has the feeling that he's carrying more than one; maybe he's just being hopeful because he's always wanted a big family for himself, but Tanjirou is absolutely happy nonetheless.

He finds out the hashira meeting is scheduled for the next day so he has to sleep in his nest alone that day, but the omega doesn't mind; it smells like all his alphas' scents combined so Tanjirou falls asleep imagining they're there with him. He dreams about his future pups.

The omega wakes up feeling excited about his mates reactions; he eats slightly more than usual because he's starving and gets himself ready to meet Ubuyashiki.

The alpha and his family are already waiting for him in the hashira headquarters; all the Ubuyashiki family are very happy for him and offer their unconditional help and support.

Amane is already telling him what he should be expecting for the next weeks and how to prepare himself for the "bad" mornings.

"It's usually dizziness and a few mood swings, but you'll be fine," the female omega assures him before pulling him into her arms.

After drinking tea with them; Tanjirou prepares for the meeting. Ubuyashiki asks him to sit next to him as they wait for the hashira to arrive at the estate.

They get there quickly and immediately notice Tanjirou; all of them do. It's probably because his scent has become quite stronger or maybe because he still has all those mixed scents from his own mates from sleeping in his nest.

"Tanjirou?" Gyomei asks, turning his head to where he thinks the omega is. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

The question makes the others worry a bit; Tanjirou notices the concern coming from their scents, but Ubuyashiki calms them with a reassuring smile.

"Tanjirou is alright. He just wanted to have an important conversation with you."

"Actually," Tanjirou mumbles before noticing the way his mates stare at him; they always have the same look of adoration in their eyes whenever he's around. It's quite endearing. "Can I show them, Oyakata-sama?"

"Of course, Tanjirou," the alpha smiles before finding his face and ruffling his hair affectionately.

Even more intrigued, the Pillars rise as soon as the omega does before getting closer to them.

"What is it, darling?" Mitsuri asks, looking really curious now. She can't stop herself from giving the omega a kiss on the cheek.

"You'll see. Follow me!"

His alphas don't even question it. However, they ask where they are heading to, and when Tanjirou says it's the butterfly estate, Kyojuro takes him in his arms and carries him all the way there.

"You can put me down now, Kyojuro-san!" Tanjirou smiles gently, tapping the alpha's shoulder as he does.

He knows Sanemi is getting really impatient, but doesn't show it because he can tell his omega is very excited about the whole thing.

Tanjirou slowly guides them towards his room and slides the door open as his smile becomes even wider.

"That's a beautiful nest," Shinobu says immediately, prompting Tanjirou to purr in delight, even though she hasn't figured out the real secret behind it.

"It's bigger than the last one you did," Giyuu comments, getting curious and slightly confused. "But your heat just passed."

They all know about that of course, the spent it with Tanjirou. The omega shakes his head, feeling his cheeks growing hot at the memories, to focus on the amazing news he's going to share with them.

"Do you need anything?" Obanai asks, a bit worried. "Do you want any of us to stay with you today?"

"Oh, I see!" Tengen smirks. "I can invite my wives if you want us to have even more-"

"Or maybe you just want to cuddle?" Mitsuri cuts the sound hashira off as Shinobu hits him on the arm to shut him up.

Tanjirou shakes his head, still smiling.

"This is a nest for pups," he finally explains to them.

It's like time freezes for a moment, at least inside their heads because it takes them all a while to even blink again.

"Tanjirou, are you pregnant?" Gyomei asks, with the sweetest smile upon his face; he's tearing up and he's not the only one.

"I am! Aoi confirmed it!"

Muichiro hugs him first, purring the whole time.

"Oi, be careful! You're squeezing him!" Sanemi growls, yanking the mist hashira away.

Tanjirou assures them he's not fragile by any means, but he can already smell the protective part of them in their scents, like it has been woken up stronger than than ever.

Kyojuro wants to press his face against Tanjirou's belly, even though Shinobu insists he won't be able to feel anything because their omega probably has a bit more than a week pregnant.

Some of them start talking about possible names, others just want to cuddle with Tanjirou or kiss him every five seconds for making them even more happy, and others are already thinking about going on Tanjirou's missions instead of him, which of course the omega won't allow.

It's chaos, but Tanjirou wouldn't have it any other way.

He knows his pups are going to love their family as much as they already love them.

***

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[inawickedlittletown]

Through The Darkness To The Dawn (BuckTommy) - 8x17 coda - 2/2

Notes: I started writing this right after watching the episode. I wanted to get into Buck's head and also sort of deal with the Eddie of it all because I really do think he has quickly become my least favorite character in 9-1-1. I don't think I'm alone in that.

The title comes from Nobody Knows by The Lumineers

Summary: Buck is grieving and Eddie is just kind of the worst. 8x17 coda.

Words: 3.5k

Read on Ao3

Part One

-

Part Two: Love Is Deep As The Road Is Long

Tommy: Hey. How are you?

Evan: Okay all things considered. 

Tommy: I’m sorry. 

Tommy: How are you? 

Tommy: If you need anything, let me know. 

Tommy: I heard you guys are going back to work tomorrow. Good luck. Be safe. 

Tommy: Hope you’re doing alright. I figure you’ve at least read my messages so that’s something, but if you want me to stop texting, let me know. I don’t want to bother you, but I do want to know that you’re okay. 

Tommy: Hey, they asked me to be a pallbearer at the funeral. Figured I’d let you know so it’s not a surprise. 

Evan:  👍🏻

Tommy: Wish we’d gotten a chance to talk, but I know how hard today was. It was for me too, but you told me once he was like a father to you. If you want to talk about it or anything at all, I’m here, Evan. 

Tommy: Hey, wanted to see how you’re doing. Crazy, all this stuff with the water. Be safe out there. 

Tommy: Hey, just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. It’s been a few weeks, but I know what he meant to you. I’m here, Evan. 

Buck: Are you home? 

Tommy: I am. Do you want to come over? 

Tommy opened his front door when he heard Evan’s truck pull into the driveway. He stepped outside and waited. For being so close to Summer, there was a bite in the air, but Tommy ignored the urge to go back inside to grab another layer. 

Since the funeral, he hadn’t heard from Evan or really anyone from the 118. Tommy understood. He also knew that he didn’t belong with them, no matter how much he wanted to. They were a family and they didn’t need him, the interloper who didn’t even have the excuse of dating Evan to be included. It was, in a way, helpful for him to know that they all had each other and could deal with it together. He figured that they would all most likely just close in with Evan right in the middle. 

It had been a bit of a shock, if he were being honest, that he’d been asked to be a part of the funeral, that he got to walk with the 118. After the funeral, he’d had a moment with Ravi and Hen, got to hear how they were both doing, but he’d seen Eddie and Evan leave together. He couldn’t leave well enough alone, so every few days he texted Evan. Just knowing that he did read the messages was enough. If he ever turned off read receipts, Tommy would be devastated. 

Did Tommy hope that eventually Evan would answer? Maybe. But he just wanted Evan to know that Tommy was a text or call away and that he would always answer. It was the very least he could offer because what Tommy wouldn’t do is try to be where he wasn’t wanted. At the first sight of Evan, Tommy wondered if that had been the right choice. 

“Hi,” Evan said, voice a little raspy. 

He looked defeated. Grief struck and sad. It wasn’t that Tommy hadn’t expected Evan to still be grieving, it was that he had never seen him this…well, diminished. In that moment, it felt like something or someone had taken grasp of Tommy’s heart and squeezed for how much it hurt to see Evan like that. 

Tommy had yet to shake, even after so many weeks, the image of Evan collapsing in that hallway. He didn’t know if anyone else knew about that moment, because when Evan came out after going through decontamination, his eyes had been rimmed red and swollen but he’d been far more put together than Tommy had expected. A little out of it, maybe, but holding it together. Tommy didn’t think that Evan had even noticed that it was Tommy that made sure he made it home. 

As he stepped towards him, Tommy opened his arms. “Hey, Evan.” 

Evan collapsed into him. He was cold and shaking. He sniffled. Tommy wrapped his arms around him and heard Evan sigh. 

“You’re freezing,” Tommy said. “Let’s get out of the cold.” 

Evan kept close, but he let Tommy steer him inside. He also let Tommy settle him into the couch and wrap the throw he kept over the back of it around him. 

“Tea,” Tommy said. “You need something warm.” 

“Okay,” Evan said. 

Something was wrong. More than Bobby’s death. Evan looked like the weight of the world was sitting on his shoulders and he had no one asking him if they could help him carry it. 

Evan followed him to the kitchen, leaned against a counter as Tommy got the electric kettle on. He moved to his mug cabinet and then chose two tea bags. Chamomile Lavender felt apt considering the time. He kept looking back at Evan. 

“Can I ask what happened?” Tommy asked. 

Evan moved towards him and Tommy lifted an arm so Evan could press himself into him. He was shaking a little and Tommy didn’t think it was all the cold. Evan didn’t say anything and Tommy figured that maybe that was what he needed. So he held him until their water was ready and even then Evan kept close as Tommy poured the water into their mugs. 

“Couch?” 

“Couch,” Evan responded. 

They situated themselves, Evan wrapping the throw over his shoulders and curling into himself, legs tucked in under him, his hands cradling the mug. Tommy sat next to him, let his knee rest against Evan’s knee. 

“I went to the beach,” Evan said. “I think I was out there too long.” 

“Why the beach?” 

Evan shrugged. “The stars. Good place to talk to Bobby. I keep trying to…I don’t know, find him? It’s stupid, I know, but…”

Tommy blew over his cup of tea. He saw Evan do the same.

“It’s not stupid,” Tommy said.  

“I spoke to him right before,” Evan said. “That night, I mean.”

Tommy had known that. He’d seen it. The door had closed with Bobby on one side and Evan on the other and then Bobby took off the protective gear, 

“He told me I’d be okay but I think he was wrong. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.”

“Oh, Evan,” Tommy said. “I don’t think he meant you’d be okay right away. No one expects that.”

Evan scoffed. His face twisted into anger and Tommy knew almost right away that there was more to whatever was going on with Evan. 

“Is someone expecting you to already be over it?” 

“More like that I’m making it all about me.” 

Tommy put his cup down on the coffee table, leaned towards Evan and placed his hands on his knees. Evan’s eyes were watery and Tommy was filled with a combination of adoration for this man and also a wave of sadness and protectiveness. 

“Losing someone you care about is about you, Evan,” Tommy said. “It’s about everyone that lost him. Who? Tell me who said that to you.” 

Evan took a sip of his tea. He winced a little. “It doesn’t matter.”

People did strange things when they were grieving, but he knew Hen and Chim would never make Evan’s feelings less important. Neither would Maddie. That left Ravi and Eddie which really did just leave Eddie. Unless it was someone else…Evan’s parents? Another friend that Tommy didn’t know? Someone else from the 118? Gerrard? 

“Well they’re wrong,” Tommy said. “Your feelings and your loss and your grief are about you. They’re about you and Bobby and maybe they overlap with how everyone else is feeling, but that doesn’t make you or what you’re going through less important. Sweetheart, you are one of the most selfless people I��ve ever met and I know you haven’t been putting your grief and your feelings above anyone else’s. I know you.”

Evan let out a sob and he shook enough that Tommy reached to steady the tea mug before Evan spilled it, grabbing it and setting it aside. He took Evan’s hands in his own. He rubbed the back of Evan’s hands with his thumbs.

“You’re not selfish, Evan,” Tommy reiterated. “In fact, you could do with being a little more selfish.” 

Evan leaned forward and kissed him. Tommy hadn’t expected it, and it was over before he could properly kiss back. 

“Sorry,” Evan said. “I just…I shouldn’t have but I—”

“Don’t ever be sorry for that.”

Evan’s lips turned up a little. “So it was okay?” 

“Better than,” Tommy said. He reached over to touch Evan’s cheek, wiped a tear away. 

Evan leaned into his touch, closed his eyes for a split second and then opened them again. 

“You don’t see me like everyone else. Not…not in a bad way. You know, Eddie said I didn’t do enough…that he doesn’t know what he could have done to save Bobby.” 

Eddie Diaz. Of course. 

Tommy supposed that if he really thought about it, no one else could probably break Evan down this much. Well, Bobby probably could have, but he never would have. Tommy hadn’t thought that Eddie was capable of it either, wasn’t he supposed to be Evan’s best friend? 

“He said I never considered what it was like for him to wake up in the middle of the night to hear about Bobby, how he had to tell Chris—”

“Who else would have told Chris?” Tommy asked and then shook his head. “Not important. Sweetheart, he wasn’t here because he moved to another state and even if he was here, it wouldn’t have made a difference. You know that. I know you know that. We did everything. Do you think I don’t question it, wonder if there had been anything at all to change? There was only one dose. The only person we can blame for all of this is Moira.” 

Evan closed his eyes. He gulped. “He’s just feeling guilty he wasn’t here.” 

“Which is not your fault and that’s him making his choices your fault, the one thing that isn’t about you. Just answer this, what difference could Eddie have made? Really?” 

Evan opened his eyes again and he nodded. “I think I know that Eddie being here wouldn’t change anything. We, uh, we got into a fight.” 

“Clearly,” Tommy said. Maybe a little too deadpan. 

Evan’s lips twitched, but then settled back into a frown. 

“I was so mad,” Evan admitted. “Figured we’d clear the air the next morning but…Anyway, I thought he left, but it turns out he just went to get Chris from Texas. Tonight I came home expecting no one to be there and instead he was there with Chris and his Aunt Pepa. So after she left, I left too and I went to the beach. I couldn’t…I couldn’t handle being there with him in that house. I still can’t go back knowing he’s still there.” 

Fuck Eddie Diaz. Had he even apologized to Evan? Had he bothered to notice that what he’d done had shaken Evan down to his core, made him question things about himself and how he was dealing after losing someone as important as Bobby was to him? Somehow, Tommy didn’t think so. 

Thinking back, Tommy didn’t know why he’d admired their friendship? Maybe because he saw how much Evan put into it? But, it didn’t seem like he got any of that back. You couldn’t give and give and give without getting anything back. Tommy had some experience with that, in fact, and he hated that he hadn’t seen that it was the dynamic between Eddie and Evan. 

“Stay here,” Tommy said. “If you don’t want to go back there, you’re always welcome here.”

Evan gave a short but thankful nod. 

Tommy squeezed his hands and then let go. 

“Tea’s going to go cold,” he muttered. 

Evan took back his mug, brought it to his lips and sighed. Drank some more. 

“It’s his house, you know? I really thought that I was finally settling into it but he’s still here and I just…it doesn’t feel like home anymore. I don’t know that it ever did.” 

Tommy didn’t know what to say. Had it been a little strange for Evan to be living in Eddie’s house? Maybe. Had Tommy maybe taken it as a sign of something that he was hoping even more than ever that he was wrong about? Probably. 

“When’s Eddie going back to Texas?” 

Evan shrugged his shoulders. “No clue. He doesn’t tell me anything. I think we was supposed to leave a couple of days after the funeral, but then he just stayed. Soon, I guess. He, uh, he got the job with the station in El Paso but I had to find out from Ravi about it because Ravi thought I already knew and because Hen was planning a surprise barbeque she didn’t bother to tell me about. That’s sort of what started the fight when I asked about it.”

Tommy probably didn’t do a good job hiding his reaction to that. 

“It’s not…it’s not just Eddie,” Evan said. “It’s all of them. I’ve tried so hard to be there for them…but they don’t like it or appreciate it or even really need me. They have each other and I’m just on the outside of that. I guess Bobby was wrong about that too. He said they would need me. They don’t.” 

“Evan,” Tommy said, “I’m sure that isn’t true.” 

Tommy couldn’t imagine the 118 splitting in any way, but then he supposed with Bobby gone that might be the thing that did create some cracks. Grief did crazy things to people. Tommy brought his own cup to his lips. It was still warm and he’d always loved the smell and taste of chamomile tea which was probably leftover from his mom loving it so much. There was comfort in it and he hoped that Evan felt that. 

“It is,” Evan said. “None of them want to talk about him or about how they’re feeling or…or anything. Hen and Chim keep just going off together while at work. I heard Chim say he doesn’t know how to build the crib for the baby and I’m right here. I know how. I did it the last time for Jee. Guess he forgot all about that. Ravi at least is trying to make things normal. I just feel like I’m floundering and none of them…none of them care.” 

“They do,” Tommy said. “You know they do. They’re your family and they’re grieving too and maybe they don’t know how to approach you because they know that you lost more than just your Captain.” 

Evan took a huge gulp of his tea, his eyes darted away, looking over the room as if Tommy had changed anything since the last time Evan had been there. He blinked away more tears. 

“How, uh, how have you been, Tommy? I’m sorry I never…I wanted to answer your messages but it just, I couldn’t.” 

Tommy allowed himself a smile. 

“I know, I figured. I’ve been alright. Sad when I think about him and about that day. God, I really wish things had gone differently. I liked Bobby a lot. Respected him even more. He was a good man, a good Captain. He made his impact felt in the 118 for anyone that worked under him, me included.” 

When they finished their tea, Tommy took both mugs back to the kitchen. Evan followed after a beat, the throw no longer around his shoulders. Tommy left the mugs in the sink, made sure the backdoor was locked and turned off the lights. 

“Are you sure I can stay here tonight?” 

“Yes. Tonight. Tomorrow. Any night, Evan. I’ll set the guest room up for you.” 

Evan shook his head. “No, you don’t have to.” 

“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” Tommy said with a chuckle. “It’s not a—”

“No,” Evan said, stepping closer towards him. “I was thinking maybe I could sleep with you?”

“Oh?” 

Pink colored Evan’s cheeks and there was a glint in his eyes that was very familiar to Tommy. 

“Just to…just to sleep,” Evan said. “I want…can you just hold me? I mean if you…that is if you’re okay with that because I can understand if you’re not and I know I just kissed you and maybe that wasn’t what you—”

His words were tangled together, coming faster and faster and Tommy stepped closer, grasped his arms gently. Evan stopped mid sentence. 

“If you need someone to hold you, my arms are right here, Evan. Come on, it’s getting late.”

It almost felt like deja vu to get ready for bed with Evan. Their shoulders brushed when they stood by the sink brushing their teeth and every once in a while their eyes would meet on the mirror. Evan’s eyes still had a sad quality to them, it wasn’t something that would leave any time soon. Tommy bumped their shoulders. 

Evan had deposited his phone on Tommy’s bedside table and at a glance he could see several missed calls and texts. 

“Do you want to answer any of these?” 

Evan shook his head. “I’ll deal with that tomorrow.” 

It was easy to arrange themselves in Tommy’s bed. Familiar. Both of them were on their side, Evan in front of him and happily snuggled into Tommy’s chest. 

“They didn’t have enough time,” Evan said. 

“Who?” 

“Bobby and Athena,” Evan said. “I keep thinking about that.” 

He wasn’t wrong. It was the tragedy of death. Tommy had seen Athena at the funeral and he had been wholly impressed by her poise, the way that she held herself together. No one would have blamed her for showing more emotion, but that just wasn’t who Athena was. He’d heard she was already back at work but that wasn’t much of a surprise and she probably needed the distraction. Tommy didn’t know what he would have done in her shoes and just thinking about it made him want to hold Evan even tighter, to bundle him up in as much protective gear as he could just to make sure that Evan came home every night. They weren’t even anything, but Tommy knew that losing Evan would devastate him.

“I was there when they met,” Tommy admitted. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, it was a call to a stab victim, I think. Anyway, the assailant was a rooster and after Bobby captured it, he just handed it to Athena. Maurice, that was the rooster’s name.”

Evan chuckled. “Wow. Doesn’t beat taking a helicopter out into a hurricane, but…” 

Tommy rolled his eyes fondly. “Our first meeting is very unique. That was Bobby’s first week in LA.”

“I forget sometimes,” Evan said, “that you knew him from the start.”

“I did,” Tommy said. 

Evan let silence settle between them and Tommy almost thought he was asleep, but then Evan turned and they were facing each other. 

“Evan?” 

“I know it’s probably not the best time to say this, but I don’t want to waste any time when…anyway, I’m sorry for what I said that day. You know I only said it because you kinda hit a nerve insinuating I could ever have feelings for Eddie…I mean he’s my — my friend, but he’ll never be anything more than that. You know that right?” 

Evan’s hand reached up to touch his face, fingers skirting gently over his cheeks and his thumb landing on his cleft. 

“I don’t think he’s even a friend to you, not really,” Tommy said. 

He saw Evan frown, but he didn’t deny that. 

“It’s not about him,” Evan said. “I don’t want any more time to go by without you knowing how I feel because anything could happen tomorrow so…I love you, Tommy. I think I have for a while.” 

The words felt impossible. A part of him, the part that ran when things got hard and that couldn’t actually believe in the good could almost believe he’d imagined it. Evan was right there, though, inches from him. Tommy was touching him and Evan’s fingers were still on his face. Waiting. Watching him. 

“I love you too,” he responded. Knew it was true. Felt it.

“Good,” Evan said, grasping his chin. He pushed forward and kissed Tommy, just a quick sweep of his lips. It felt like a promise.

Evan burrowed his face into Tommy’s neck, yawning. It didn’t take long for him to succumb to sleep. Tommy was up just a bit longer. He felt so protective of Evan and he didn’t know what he was going to do about it when the morning came. The Evan that had arrived at his house tonight was still more than a little damaged by the loss of Bobby but worse was whatever had been happening with Eddie as well as the rest of the 118. Knowing Evan, he would forgive and move on, but that didn’t mean that Tommy had to. 

He dropped a kiss to Evan’s head and slowly drifted off. 

In the morning, Evan was still there safe and warm in his arms, but he blinked slowly awake as if realizing that someone was watching him. 

“Hi,” Evan said. 

“Hi,” Tommy repeated. “How are you?” 

Evan let out a sigh. “I don’t know, but better. It helps, having someone in my corner.” 

“I’ll always be in your corner, Evan.” 

[erwinsvow]

love both the robby and langdon sister suggestions but i’m still thinking about walsh’s sister!! i think there’s some potential there, walk with me. walsh is a surgical attending meaning there’s a lot of pressure there and big shoes to fill when you’re also going into the medical field. i also think it would add to it since walsh is also night shift

have SOOOOOOO many thoughts on this. when i made that post i was honestly thinking walsh's little sister but i wanted to leave it up in the air. this is SOOOO amazing. i'm not just walking sister i'm running with you. sooo we can decide if reader would be on the surgery team but i personally looove me a first year emergency reader. just bright eyed and bushy tailed, the nurse's favorite, and i think it's fun if you're very different from your sibling!!!! walsh's personality in the show is so fun to watch because i loooove how she snaps at people. and she's not in too much which is sad so i hope we see more of her. i personally headcanon that she and jack didn't have a relationship she just hates him because he's annoying as fuck. "crazy pants" "fancy pants" little sister reader staring between them like guys.. the patient? soooo a little sweetheart reader who is eager to impress and her little mean streak comes out and in those moments you sound just like emery. snapping at a patient who's screaming at his nurses, being a little stickler for the rules, not hesitating to get an opinion from surgery (aka your big sister!) unlike some of the others. it's natural to you to go to her when you have a question you can't figure out the answer to. she helped you decide what field to go into, what shoes are the best for twelve hour shifts, how to adjust to night shift, what type of cookies to bake to bring in because it's been a bad week and everyone needs a pick me. things you cannot go to your big sister about: your crush on your attending, how you see the entire world in the green of his eyes, how you can't focus when he stands next to you and how to not be weird about having a huge crush on your attending. obviously it's not gonna take jack that long to put two and two together—he's always liked you but at some point like turned into really like turned into dot dot dot. turned into midnight conversations and grabbing your arm and ducking behind a wall when your sister shows up so he can finish listening to your story before she takes you away. turned into trying to snap less at her so you don't think it's hopeless when you finally tell her about you two. turned into being the one who gets to console you after a bad loss instead of your sister—that one really bites. also how she finds out—catches you crying in jack's arms behind a curtain and sees jack lean in for a forehead kiss and all hell breaks loose. emery stands by the fact that jack is annoying and has no business dating his residents!!!! except it's clear you two love each other. they both volunteer at the VA together so it's not like he's completely unlikable—everyone knows jack abbot is a good guy and exactly the kind of guy you want dating your sister. does NOT approve of the age difference and is meaner about it than your parents are. you would never hear the end of "i know everyone's got daddy issues these days but this is taking a little far" and "get away from my sister before i stab you with this scalpel." I LOVE THEM!!