#so i have to publish it myself. i just dunno how i'm gonna do it.

[zerodaryls]

i... i finished my first edit of my novel. 107,098 words.

i don't even know what to do now. do i just... start from the beginning and go through it with my metaphorical red pen again?

do i invite people to read it and give any notes?

idek how i'm gonna be publishing this when it's Finished Finished. i want it to be accessible to the target readership (queer neurodivergent young adults) and i hate amazon so like. idk where to host it. or if it should just be a file to download. or what. AAGGGGGHHHH.

but anyway... I JUST FINISHED MY FIRST EDIT OF MY NOVEL.

[mdhwrites]

Honestly It's quite disrespectful and insulting, how Dana cared more about her beef with Disney than making a good show for the fans who supported her, some even financially. I've had it with her extreme fans raging to people when she's criticized for her obvious lack of care on S3 (the story in general), spamming and blaming on Disney and the shortening. Now that's revealed it wasn't Disney's fault for "ruining S3" since there was no S3 to begin with, that just puts more salt on the wound.

And lying about having plans for S3, what was that about? Stirring more hate on Disney? I find that pitiful and pathetic. If fans are gonna get mad at her from this revelation they have the right to do so. Toh should've stayed in the drafts or be written as a freelanche comic

Edit: I do think this person is too harsh on Dana as a person. I'm curious even what they mean by financial support from her fans (her charity livestreams? Unless she does those more often for personal gain but those people would likely donate anyways as just fans of the show) but as I go into below, I do agree that her unprofessionalism is a real problem and that with the fandom she somewhat helped rile up, it makes it frustrating to learn that a lot of this was on vapor. Not lies, but just... Not nearly as much solid foundation as we were led to believe. There is a lot to be said about how Dana, from my understanding, has been one of the most available leads on a show... Period? At bare minimum, for modern cartoons. Like others will talk but Dana was extremely candid. In fact, it feels like she probably learned some lessons from it because the blaming Disney stuff actually went DOWN as the show progressed. Like at least now it's "I wish I could have done more things," rather than, I dunno, just straight up trying to say they're why episodes you're not proud/ of aren't as well regarded didn't turn out.

Which she did.

With S1A.

Before SEASON TWO was out.

Like... You just shit talked literally half of the content that is out for your show and threw your publisher under the process. Why do I think that might not have been received well?

And when I was biggest in the fandom, around the time the news of the shortening happened, you heard a LOT of different explanations from Dana, like it was one executive who made the call or how TOH wasn't a 'part of Disney's brand' or the like. When the Florida stuff came out with Disney, she pretty explicitly called Disney out for it (which is fine and I approve) but then went on to insinuate that it was hard for her to believe that the show had been cancelled for any reason besides representation, a move I DON'T approve of and makes ZERO sense with how they got to do so much more gay shit in S2B and even add new elements like confirming Masha was they/them or confirming Luz being Bi on screen in Thanks to Them. It's not a great look for a director, especially during the times these statements were coming out.

Being unprofessional admittedly doesn't make her a bad person but like... Yeah, I get upset thinking about the contradictions here too. That even in the same post Hoot that she has to admit that the shortening pushed them creatively and they had no real plans, she's still talking like she had plans. Like there was something to be missed when... No. Not for the STORY. Just your bucket of ideas for a perpetual series.

It leans into the idea that saying you were going to do X means you would have done it perfectly. That Dana doesn't understand that the only perfect work is the one never done. She's fine with being remembered for what wasn't there if it means being remembered better. As a creator myself who struggles with putting things to the page... I don't know. It hurts to some extent.

Which just a small update: I've been having real trouble focusing the past couple days. My head is not on well right now. It's why these are being a bit more emotional and late night rather than my normal posts in the morning because that's just how I've felt like doing it. Hope you're all taking care of yourselves and see you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[twilightmalachite]

Jun Sazanami Mini Talk - Audition VS GLADIATOR -Fourth piece-

Translator: Mika Enstars

"I had heard that some of my fav characters would be appearing in it, so I had figured my only choice was to get the physical copy!"

Interesting Manga

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Spring

Location: Shopping Mall

Jun: Oh, if it isn't Anzu-san! What a coincidence to see you here~.

I bet for you, you run into other idols all the time. Still, I never figured I'd run into you, Anzu-san~.

You here to shop? Or are you here for something else?

💬 To shop

Jun: Well, that is typically one's reason for coming to a shopping mall, huh~.

By the way, did you see the lottery wheels over at the entrance?

It seems you can get tickets for it depending on how much you spend. Don't forget to pull them out if you're interested in giving them a go~!

💬 I thought to maybe stop for a meal

Jun: I see. Well it's not a cafeteria, but there are a couple places to eat, aren't there~?

Actually… Since you're looking to grab a bite, does that mean you haven't eaten yet?

This is you we're talking about, so I guess that means you've been too busy to eat. You need to at least be sure to eat properly, okay~?

Jun: Me? I'm here for the bookstore.

I had stopped by another bookstore on the way back from work, but they didn't have the volume I wanted. So I ended up coming all the way here looking for it~.

Thankfully, I managed to get my hands on it! I had really wanted the physical copy this time, not the e-book version…

💬 Oh, I see

Jun: I didn't know where it was at first, and ended up wandering around the store, though.

But I got super excited when I found only a couple copies left in the new releases section~!

I can't wait to get to go home and read it…♪

💬 Is there a reason why you wanted the physical version?

Jun: I'd accidentally misread that a newly drawn manga wouldn't get published in the e-book release…

I had heard that some of my fav characters would be appearing in it, so I had figured my only choice was to get the physical copy!

But, I did get a card as a bonus, so I do feel like I got somethin' outta it~! ♪

Jun: Oh right, when I was looking for the new release, I found another manga that looked interesting.

I had never heard of the work before… But something about it really drew it to me, and I ended up just buying it based off the cover.

There was only one volume that was on the store's display for the time being. But if it's interesting, I think I'll buy the next volume too~!

💬 Let me know if it's interesting

Jun: Oh, are you interested?

I dunno what your taste is, but at least based on my preferences, I think it's gonna be interesting.

I'll let you know once I read it. I hope it turns out to be good~! ♪

💬 I wonder if the first volume just came out?

Jun: I wonder. I couldn't find any volume 2 or volume 3 around the first one…

But well, if the first only just came out, that's fine. I'll just consider myself lucky for stumbling upon the work so early on!

Not to sound full of myself, but if it turns out to be a work I can support, I'll be happy~.

[ ☆ ]

More Enthusiastic Than Usual

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Spring

Location: Training Room

Jun: Haah… Hah, phew…

That should be good for today's training… No, maybe I can keep on going…?

The auditions coming up soon, so now's the time to give it my all, isn't it~?

💬 Good work today

Jun: Thanks, good work today too~… Wait, Anzu-san? What're you doing somewhere like this?

Are you here to train? Well, this is the training room, I'd be surprised if it had some other purpose, but…

Ohh, so there's a machine you wanna use, huh? That's good, might as well make use of ES facilities~!

💬 Are you talking to yourself?

Jun: Huh?! Whoa, what the! If it isn't Anzu-san…!

I didn't even notice you were here in the same room as me~! I mean, if you're here, could ya let me know?

Yeah, I was talking to myself. I thought nobody was here, so I was just muttering to myself~.

Jun: Well, as you can see, I'm here to train.

But I just finished up, so I'm just taking a little break.

I had thought to head home, but… Since I was here, I felt to might as well do a little training.

💬 Aren't you tired?

Jun: I'm feeling pleasantly fatigued. When I'm this degree of tired, it feels like I've done well exercising my body.

How much training I've been doing? I first start with three sets at the machines over there, and then I—

…Come on, please don't look so surprised. You're the one who asked, you know~!

💬 But it's already so late

Jun: Haha, couldn't I say the same back to you? Are you sure you don't wanna head back home, Anzu-san?

I see, so you're only planning to be here for thirty minutes, so it shouldn't get too late…

Well, be careful not to get too enthusiastic about strength training! I feel time passes in the blink of an eye when you really get into something!

Jun: How come I'm working so hard on strength training? …Hmm. Well, for one, it's a hobby of mine, but…

But I've been putting more effort into it lately, keeping in mind that there's the audition right around the corner.

I'm sure you know about it, right? The audition organized by THUNDERBOLT, a large overseas company.

💬 I see...

Jun: Well, there's not all too many days until the audition, so even if I start training now, it's not like it'll make all too much a difference, but…

I'd rather go at it than not, you know? This is my own way of preparing for it too, getting hyped for it and all.

Since I'm gonna participate, I gotta do what I can to give it everything I've got so there's no regrets~!

💬 So you'll be participating, huh?

Jun: Huh, I figured someone like you would've already known that~.

Or, wait, is it because since THUNDERBOLT's hosting it, it's no wonder you're not privy to those details, Anzu-san…?

Though, you're a freelancer now, so… Ugh, the harder I think about, the more complicated I realize it to be, huh~?

[ ☆ ]

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary399

10/25-26/24

friday - saturday

at the bookstore decade anniversary, i saw the writer andre aciman read.

the writer of call me by your name. i've not seen that movie, or read any of his work, his new book roman year. the excerpts were good but the best bit he read was when he was, at 16, reading from this book of case studies of perverts, 'inverts', spit fetishists, incest lovers, and so on, and his fascination and thought, the world of sex unfolding before him, he could be any one of these, 'as if i read a horoscope and all 12 signs resonated'. that's a loose quotation of him reading it. he also talked about himself, a more interesting man than i would have guessed. i suppose i had a much more positive feeling toward him than i expected, i also didn't expect him to talk about his wife...

a strange thing... or... i don't know... we were on the guestlist, a curated list, this was a special event, a lot of free food, really delicious desserts... this chocolate ganache thing, it must have been italian, my god... i had like... 2-ish. 1.5, if i'm kind to myself i guess. i feel stupid like i overate today. i feel so disgusting honestly and i kinda wanna make myself puke but i won't but tomorrow i'm really gonna try hard to not eat really. tomorrow. i don't know. i feel insane. for lots of reasons. i really feel... ugh. not going to type it out. i'll make myself spiral. i swear i feel so ugly and gross though and stupid and fat ugh i hate how i feel right now. but that's expected... not even from the food. even if it's felt a little much these past couple days... it's really because of a person i talked to today just spreading his lunacy...

anyway, here's a pic of me, i only got to take one, but i was trying to dress in an annoying skinny jeans way, to celebrate the hellp album kinda... not like, really, i just think this looks cute, but... you know... live in the moment even if it's stupid or whatevsss:

i took pics in the bar bathroom and i thought i looked better but the lighting wasn't really good and i think i look so ugly... so now i feel ugly because of that and wonder what i "really" look like if that makes sense.

anyway here's the pics from yesterday:

here's the ai thingies:

and here's an image from today i can't really explain or i guess i can. this person has made multiple people i know including myself feel totally crazy:

i know how weird it is, and evil, to take photos of people without them knowing, pointedly. but it feels warranted for what he is. i guess i'm just another evil person out here, in a world of them, one of the ugly evil things. i should jjust ddieeee.

i talked to one of the owners of the bookstore today, and a guy who helped make it happen, both from new york, as is the other owner of the store (the owners are this super cute gay couple), the owner talked about john zorn, i interjected at a point they were discussing nick cave, and i said i love the birthday party but later nick cave doesn't do so much... i like his used car salesman pathetic freak thing a lot, and that dissolves, the owner talked about him being like a preacher... but i dunno... he really doesn't embody the thing he tries on earlier albums as a solo artist even, the other guy, i'll call him publisher cuz that's a thing he does but it's all experimental stuff and i can't recall the imprint, talked about how he needed blixa to make him really special, which is true i think. i got to talk about rowland s howard a little. we went on, talked about silly music stuff, they showed up later though.,.. eventually we talked a little about dennis cooper, how he once helped a good friend of mine and how touching that is to me. he was like, i saw him getting interviewed back in nyc, he is a nice guy. and i was like, it's shocking to me, that he's out here, reachable i guess, i'm so used to it feeling so far away. he didn't say much to that. the owner asked if i'm a musician, it's strange how he guessed that, or i don't know, is it obvious? maybe my hair. i don't know, i talked about making music where i scream and stuff. they were chuffed it seemed. i didn't tell them who i was, or show them anything... why would i... it'd be so impolite right? the owner told me i should go to new york, i have the vibe. but my gf was like, i told her we can't, and we can't... all the people in new york seem to do anymore is post on twitter. but i also guess the people who don't do that do real things, but like, you know.

the owner talked about seeing naked city with just zorn and mike patton performing, a crazy show it sounded like, zorn going off on sax and patton just screaming and vocalizing. that's such a crazy thing to me to get to see... they're really cool, basically, the people i've met tonight, or these guys, i'm sure i'll never speak to them again.

and i loved seeing my other friends... but the person in the photo, he just drove some of us, or maybe just mostly my other friend and i insane... i can't go into all of it, he's like, okay, he's okay to talk about music w/ it's fun and i like chatting about new stuff i like and getting ribbed about being too into the hellp. but it's just, he was going crazy the whole time, being weird, he kept getting more violent as the night went on, tweaking kinda, and then, started hitting the table and stuff, no one really noticed, just, going crazy crazy, scary to watch and things and he'd make all these faces and try to laugh it all off even though it isn't something you can laugh off. he made my friend feel so bad, they dated briefly, it ended quickly, she still finds him so cute, and he's so pathetic you want to befriend him and help him not be what he is , what he is being miserable and fucked up about everything and just trying to make something happen and failing... detransitioning and becoming a fucking bus driver in colorado, not like i look down on that as much as i feel like it fucks me up how much a vision it is of some you know, ideal, he kept talking about how trying to be an actual blue collar worker is harrowing, and like, no shit poverty is fucking harrowing. but he saw gummo and it's like the first true film he got to experience, idk if there was any stuff that means nothing to him prior or if he liked stuff kids like and ignores that, either way, the owners of the bookstore showed it to him, and they love him, and it's just intense and difficult i dunno.

as the night went on, he kept saying like, let's go there, let's go there, jokingly because he really seemed pained by it and told me something like, it's starting to feel really bad now. and he grimaced like his arm was under a hydraulic press. and i wanted to help him, and i felt so guilty, like it was my fault, i kept saying i'm sorry, i know i joke a lot, but i mean it, sorry you feel bad, i'm not like making fun of you i just like joking around (i asked if he smoked a certain way because of the guy from autechre smoking that way sometimes, and making a silly joke about how autechre sound), i know some people have the impression i mock them, but i'm really not, or something like that. he just stared like i was the one going crazy. he kept saying let's go to oddfellows, he like, then told my friend who did wanna go to hang out with him more, his uber's on his way, barely said bye to her and refused to say bye to me it seemed like, and went off.

she ended up calling my gf crying, miserable because of him. she feels so awful. he's so stupid, such a bad person basically. and i know it... he like dated one of my friend's besties, too. she's in la!!! he just gets around, all over, torturing women.

so, yeah, that's like... it.

listening to this a lot, feeling crazy. this album is great... the hellp, i am certain have hurt women though. i feel fucked up about everything. i dunno. i'm just stupid. i'm stupid and ugly and unhappy i feel bad for all these dipshits in the world. why do i know multiple people who go to the midwest because of fucked up fantasies of being "real"????? it's torturous. the fantasy of blue collar reality, poverty romanticism, being 'base' in some way i guess. and it always fucking has something to do with harmony korine who is definitely a hack now even if i do love that film, gummo... fuck this stupid planet. why are there beautiful and kind people and this wide a range, it's torturous to me. it's just one silly night, not even bad. i ate like a stupid fat pig for free and i even had a shirley temple... wow whoa... whatever...

i wanna throw myself away, i feel like if i were meaner, fewer people would be miserable and stuff. maybe. i don't know. maybe i was really mean and i should have been nicer or something. i'm just crazy. i hate that people can destroy other's self esteem so easily, and that they either don't realize how fragile that is, or they do it intentionally. why would he hurt her so much by being a prick like that, not even saying bye gracefully? not even making an excuse about losing her number, or... deleting it at all. i hope they don't ever see eachother again.

guhhh, i don't know. there's so much wrong with the way people turn to reaction, i hate that i witness it so much. or reveal their reactionary tendencies. it's just terrifying.

there's nothing i can do i just hafta sleep to feel normal in the morning. and then i go nowhere tomorrow. i can cook, i can draw my silly fan art, or other stuff. i wrote a little tonight cuz of this too at least. that's nice.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pangyham]

sorry to anyone who has to see this HAHAHA i think it's a little fun to ramble to.. a void i guess. i'm typing this under the assumption no one's gonna read it, let alone find it, so, sure, i'll talk!

on pangytine, my current and only instagram account, i sometimes get these spontaneous urges to post a huge a long overdue thank-you paragraph to my followers on my story. gratitude for indulging my artistic endeavors when i still had tangypine. i just never did it because.. well it's kinda.. cheesy... i had no idea how to deliver it in a way that didn't seem dramatic or "humble" because cmon, i'm not that relevant. It felt a bit weird addressing it because it just made it seem like i was this huge influencer who suddenly disappeared (and yes i know i was technically considered a big artist on both ig and twitter but.. it's not like i was unique; i think.. the state of Fandom and the art community these past few years makes accumulating thousands of followers a little less unattainable, and i was one of those artists. and my work is not phenomenal- i did not leave an impact on the art community. but these nuances will just have to be generalized for now because i think you all know what i mean) and so i couldn't help but laugh and cringe and think, "i am not this relevant-" because i really wasn't. why make a big deal out of it?

but i can't help it being a little dramatic though, because i still get emails from my followers asking where i am, and i get comments and messages on pangytine ("i finally found you!"), and i even get messages from my shop's contact form! a shop that i've abandoned for months! and my heart swells. I don't want to dismiss that; i think i will always be a sensitive, emotional person and so stuff like this just makes me overwhelmed. it's sweet, and it will never fail to make me a little bit nostalgic and thankful. I will always have a soft spot for tangypine and my time spent in the anime + genshin communities… i dunno.. people are just so kind and i'm thankful i've encountered a lot of them

i've been a lot less.. chronically online (LOL) that the thought of having 200k followers is completely foreign to me. i forget that i had a huge following, that people actually looked at my stuff. I dont mean for this to come across as modesty though because i'm just being honest, truly. but this just makes the occasional "where are you? i miss your art" hit a little harder 🥲 i mean, i was able to somehow sell my art through tangypine. i was able to do commissions.. had so many say they loved my art- of course a part of me misses that. i don't think i yearn for it, and knowing that makes me a little sad.

i genuinely am thankful for every kind comment people have left me, and every kind message. I think i'm just ultimately thankful i had a kind following. people are so nice! and that's what i wanted to say, that's all ive always wanted to say before i deleted my accounts. here it is

aha and again i dont really expect anyone to see this (except maybe a few handful just because my very first post here has a whopping 4 notes, me included, and that genuinely shocked me HAHAHA). perhaps i just find closure in publishing these particular thoughts somewhere, and here they are sorry this is cringe to the people who read it. my friend once told me i'm notorious for overexplaining. This is will be the only time i get to say this, so gah whatever. i don't think i can bring myself to post this lengthy ramble on my more public account on instagram

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Saw this and decided to do it myself... Obviously no one tagged me. As I carry on procrastinating the final chapter of HYGTG, lemme do this 😂 Also gonna change from AO3 to Tumblr 😊.

1. How many works do you have on Tumblr?

I've got 21 works, majority of them are Enhypen smaus and then there's the few one shots/Imagines. And my longest fanfic which is Invisible a Han Seojun fanfic.

2. What's your total Tumblr word count?

So this is just counting Invisible and the one shots Ive written, 41k... Majority of that is Invisible

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Kpop, specifically the group Enhypen. I add Harry Potter into that.

4. Top five fics by Notes?

Invisible at the top with the masterlist having 649 notes... Ngl seeing this makes me want to rewrite Invisible...

Unexpected Partners has 468 notes. Which makes sense, my Jungwon fics tend to be quite popular.

Peace has 365 notes. This was my first Enha & Harry Potter fic. I do love this one.

You Belong With Me has 337 notes. Another Harry Potter AU with a Jungwon redemption arc...

The Second Choice has 307 notes. Another Jay smau but this one is a Office Au with a toxic bestie.

Honestly apart from Invisible and Unexpected Partners being top 1 and 2, I wasn't expecting any of the other ones on this list.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep, I wish I got more comments but I always reply to the comments I do get.

Shout out to @shinkenprincess-oh for always commenting <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am very much against angsty endings. Happy endings all the way.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All my fics have happy endings so I don't even know which one has the happiest ending...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Havent gotten any yet and I dont want to get hate either please.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope and I never will.

10. Craziest crossover?

I guess constantly mixing Harry Potter with kpop is as crazy as my crossovers get.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully no but I'd like for it to not happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope but I am open to it if anyone interested.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, that would be interesting to do though.

14. All time favorite ship?

Okay so thats a hard one... I'm gonna go with my top 4.

Harmione {Harry Potter and Hermione Granger}. I am a diehard Harry and Hermione shipper. I just love them so much.

Olicity {Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak}. I was shipping them from the moment Felicity was introduced on the show.

Damianette {Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Damian Wayne}. All my knowledge of DC has come from reading Maribat fics and I do not regret that in the slightest.

Rogan {Rory Gilmore and Logan Huntzberger}. They will forever be my ultimate ship. In my headcanon they ended up together happily ever after.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Its more like whats an idea that I actually want to write... Its a hard one cause I have so many ideas running about in my head that very few of them actually make it to being published...

16. What are your writing strengths?

I guess coming up with backstories for my characters? Making people care even though you are only seeing the story through texts and tweets? Character development and growth?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Haha... Everything?

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think its quite interesting but I would like a translation somewhere so that I at least know whats been said. Unless its important to the plot then its fine.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Technically it was Pixelberry Choices Mobile Games stories(? dunno what else to call them) specifically I wrote for High School Story and High School Story Class Act. I have since deleted those fics from my tumblr and Wattpad, they are still on AO3 but I've orphaned them.

Invisible my True Beauty fic is the one that I count as the first fandom I wrote in.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I legitimately cant pick one, so shameless plug for whoever comes across this to check out my Enhypen Masterlist and True Beauty Masterlist.

Whoever wants to do this, go and have fun cause I have no idea who to tag...

[arcaneoddity]

Writer Interview Game

Thanks again for the tag, @torterrachampion <3

When did you start writing?

I've pretty much been writing forever tbh. Started taking it more seriously when I was like... idk, 12ish? I still have a cringe ass German Sonic self-insert OC thing lying around on a hard drive somewhere I'm sure. Only started publishing my fanfic at age 15 or so, that's around the time I switched to writing in English too. I don't really do original stuff, my planning capabilities and attention span just aren't enough for that.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

When it comes to non-fanfic stuff I enjoy a good thriller and things involving murder investigations. Don't enjoy visual gore but can handle it well in written form, usually.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I dunno, I'm just kinda making shit up as I go lmao. There is one fic that I kinda see as The Pinnacle of everything I care about and want to portray in my writing, this absolute Break/Reim gem by calliope_love on dreamwidth. I'm not actively trying to emulate the author or anything, I just feel like this piece has shaped me in several ways and I need to lie tf down about it.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

That's either at my PC (that's where most of the proofreading/editing takes place at any rate), or... pretty much wherever I have my phone on me and inspiration strikes. Most chaotic place I've written fic at was sat on the grass somewhere in the very back of the crowd at a concert during a metal festival. I'll let that speak for itself.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

To be honest... I've stopped trying to force it. I used to beat myself up about not getting anything done, but that didn't work out and only made me feel more miserable. These days it can indeed take a good while for inspiration to strike, or I get five ideas at a time, but I'm feeling better about it this way. It's not like I'm writing for money or anything, so it doesn't really matter in the end.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I'm a big sucker for romance and characters finding trust and unconditional love in each other, especially in a hurt/comfort kind of context. It's all about that emotional catharsis. Also... I tend to write sex as a character study. That's the niche I've carved myself out and I'm comfy in here.

What is your reason for writing?

I enjoy exploring characters' motives behind their actions, their emotional state, their connect to those around them. Writing's also my idea of an outlet for myself, in a way, it helps to process certain themes through a different lens.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I'm told I'm pretty good at capturing nuanced emotions, especially the heavier and conflicted kind. This is backed up by my friends telling me I hurt their feelings, which I count as an achievement.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm pretty happy with where I am tbh. Ofc there's always room for improvement I guess, and not everything's gonna come out the way I want it to, but I don't explicitly strive to get anywhere in particular. I will say though... I do have my moments that have me going, I wrote that?? Damn. B)

Gently sliding this across the table to @morocosmos (no pressure whatsoever tho) and anyone else who wants to take a stab at it!

[i-dunno-who-i-wanna-be]

Hey i'm.... i'm..... Well i dunno what to let others call me i guess? I don't even know if i'm gonna publish this sh*t cause you know i kinda wanna share my mind but i also don't...or i do? I'ts just that i want to let my thoughts out and make art and share but at one point i always kinda chicken out, i started tiktok up once when i was in a very bad place and i loved it! And others loved it too! I got quite a few followers and my content was funny but then i got scared... And i just deleted every trace of ever having done that same goes for my insta i was making art and posting it but i got scared or for my fanfics i get notifications sometimes about someone commenting on my fanfic and asking to continue and when i read that i really REALLY want to continue but i don't know i just sometimes go... My mind wanders and i just don't think what i do is good even tho i want nothing more then to make art be myself and maybe show others that they can also be different and weird at the same time but i just don't know how to approach that because whenever i muster up the strengh i crash and abandone my work abandone my art and when i think about picking up a new one i get scared again but maybe i can make some art i wanna try again so i came here to tumblr this time and now i wanna start this blog and maybe just maybe some of you guys want to hear weird,nerdy,simpy,freaky thoughts and decide to stay? Then you guys can tell me your weird sh*t and we can be weird tigether maybe we can all find peace with the weird in us and maybe i can also learn to always live my weird and f*ck up everyone else! So yeah welcome i guess :)

Btw if yall have name recs give em to me cause i dunno what to call myself lol.

[ldknightshade]

This is the cube anon. I am sorry for my presence in your box here, I know people would like me gone. However since you are still archiving the events, I want to share with you what I sent to glassguillotine, who told me to kill myself. Is that okay? I said "Hello, it is Toki Cube anon. I wanted to apologize for the hurt I've caused this community and especially you. I know you've said in discord I ruined your birthday and I am deeply sorry. That said it hurts me that you would tell me to kill myself. I mean no harm and no hurt for anyone with my requests, but I have not done more than leave a like on any of the art because I fear people want to hurt me. I do not know why everyone assumes I wanted the pictures to be sexually explicit, I did not. I am fine with all the jokes, they are funny. What bothers me is that people are saying I am akin to a sexual predator and am wishing I hurt or end my life. That is very painful to see. I meant you no harm and I am truly sorry for it. Please do not look for me as I will be remaking my accounts free of this anyway. But not free of Toki as I need him for my comfort in life. I am sorry again and thank you."

I know this may go unanswered and ignored and I may still be seen as a parasite to the community but I simply wish my voice to be heard and be known I mean no harm for anyone despite what is being said. I will not be back again most probably.

Oscillating fronters rn, so we're just gonna colorcode so everyone's two cents makes it to the table. - Under a cut, due to length, as we're a wordy bunch.

Frankly, Cube Anon, I don't mind your presence. I'm not sure how to feel about this from the archival standpoint, as on one hand, this does help unravel the mystery a bit, but on the other hand, I will admit this feels a little bit like unintentional triangulation. Which, honestly, I've used worse tactics in a self-unaware manner while completely emotionally wrecked, so I don't blame you. However, I will not let it go unacknowledged.

That said, we now know what you sent the user and what their post was responding to.

We do intend to publish this to have your voice be heard. And honestly, this mostly reads like... just a mistake? I don't know, even if it wasn't intended to be fetish-farming, it sounds like you got wrapped up in things and needed to dial it back a bit. Like you thought it'd make a good running gag or something and didn't realize what it came off as. ...Are you a minor, by any chance? Because that would explain it being intended as a joke, but unintentionally reading as fetish farming; something you were potentially unaware even existed.

But, in all honesty, if it was fetish stuff, general consensus - within our system and in the fandom - is to just commission as replied to in this ask you sent to pipartuuli.

It's because fetish farming is something artists really have to look out for, if this was fetish related, because like... you know, something more on the innocuous side like this when it's intended for fetish purposes isn't exactly something all artists consent to. That's why even if it's not fetish stuff, the sheer amount of asks you sent combined with the fact that it's anon, and whatnot... it just looks a lot like fetish stuff, you know.

And like, I dunno, I don't think any of it makes you a parasite, per se? Regardless of the intentions, it sounds like you didn't know better, to a degree, and like you got in over your head.

I don't think a misunderstanding of online etiquette necessarily means you're a predator, even if it's fetish stuff? Because here, as well as in the previously mentioned ask you sent pipartuuli indicates remorse. I'm just saying, three times is a pattern - and this is technically the third time you've expressed remorse for the ask spam. While I respect your decision to leave the community after this - I really don't know if I wouldn't do the same - I do want to offer our askbox as a place for you to give us answers, clear the air on the mystery a bit. You know, let us get all the facts and let your voice be heard, since there's a lot of high emotions underneath what it became.

While I, myself, am not too invested in this, I do think it's in your best interest to separate yourself from the parts of the fandom that responded to you with vitriol. I can't imagine this has done any wonders for your mental health, so do what you can to remedy that. The more we think about it, at the very least I know Bell and I are inclined to agree with Dick; that is, you are potentially a minor and something you sent as a joke got a little out of hand. I, and the others, are glad to see you've taken the wave caused by this in stride. Please, do take care of yourself.

Echoing their sentiments, I agree with Dick, you can totally use our askbox to help answer things, get your side of everything across if need be, because honestly, the fact you came to us to mediate horrifies us a bit. And on top of that, I know a lot of us have questions, so by all means, go ahead and just talk to us, if you feel the need to further clarify things.

It was good to see you, Cube Anon. Sorry if this is messy, too many cooks in the kitchen right now, clearly.

[cripplemagics]

I apologize for not being here much for actual IC interactions. my motivation for writing things has been low and on top of that, my physical health has been rollercoastering. While I am feeling better for now I am also focusing my thoughts on writing down the bits of lore and story i have created to go on @cripplelegends due to just. . . i dunno, a desire for jay's story to be more fully fleshed out so i can write it on my own.

I'd love for you guys to follow over there! its sort of an inspiration blog sort of a journal and record of how things are going in my development of the world and such. Some of you may even recognize interactions between our characters that pop up there. I save posts there sometimes because I think it really exemplifies bits of jay's personality or triggered introspection about a part of the story i need to work on.

don't worry! your characters will not show up in the book(s) should they ever be published. especially the canon characters you guys write. Duh, of course i'm not gonna commit copyright infringement!

anyway, i'm not sure how often i'll be responding to IC things in the near future. I wanna write more for myself, whether its fic or original writing. (btw i do have some pieces on ao3 that like. . . frankly i'm embarrassed to talk about but if you wanna read them come hit me up for my info.)

Come support my other shit, i guess! I hope to make an art IG soon too once i have a few pieces to put on there. New ventures are intimidating. O_o

[microsuedemouse]

~ 15 questions & 15 friends ~

tagged by my much beloved @czarcaustic <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

My grandfather!! Courtney was his middle name. (That spelling was originally the masculine form of the name, though it's pretty rare to see it used as such these days.) My middle name is also a family name :)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhh... oh it was a couple nights ago, when talking with my parents about my Nana. I still miss her a lot

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. At this stage of my life I can't say it feels super likely ever to happen, though I'd be lying if I said I don't feel a twinge of Something when I meet babies at work lol.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

lmao I have never played any. I am extremely unathletic by nature, and also always struggled to get my brain around the rules of pretty much any of them when I was like, a kid in gym class

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sure, but not a lot? Probably an average amount I figure

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Man, I dunno - probably their faces or their clothes, depending on context?

7. What's your eye color?

Brown!

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Big big fan of both! I'm not a big sad endings guy, though. Even when it feels right for the story, it's usually not my jam. (I guess sometimes sad endings can be good for scary movies, but that's like... sort of its own thing? because it's about The Horror.)

9. Any talents?

This is always a hard question for me to answer, bc I feel like most of the things I'm good at are more skills than talents - they're things I've practiced and developed over time, like with my writing and art. Although I guess it'd be fair, if unusual maybe, to say I've got a couple naturally strong interpersonal skills. I'm very good at communication, including figuring out what other people are trying to say, and I'm also pretty good at making people feel comfortable and understood.

10. Where were you born?

In southern Ontario, in the city where both of my parents did most of their growing up :)

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing (fiction prose, mostly) and the many kinds of thinking that go with it (worldbuilding, character development, etc). Arts and crafts (of many kinds; I'm often bouncing from one thing to another. Currently I'm having lots of fun learning to crochet). Taking in stories (reading books and comics, watching movies and TV, playing games, listening to podcasts - I love stories in all their forms). Goofing off with my family, especially my younger siblings.

12. Do you have any pets?

We have three cats - Neverland, Louie, and Smudge :)

13. How tall are you?

Uhh my ID says 165 cm, so that's... 5'5"-ish? I'm genuinely so incapable of remembering that on my own, for some reason.

14. Favorite subject in school?

It was usually English and art, growing up. In university it was always my courses that delved into genre fiction - science fiction, children's lit, the fairy tale... also that graphic novel seminar I took

15. Dream job?

Iiii. [sweats] I wanna be a novelist, but also, that's hard in its own way, and I think it's gonna take me a while yet to really Get There in terms of my own skills, disregarding the challenges of publishing. Beyond that... is something I've been struggling a lot with lately, because it's hard for me to imagine myself in a job where I'm both content and competent, let alone able to support myself. I've been wondering a lot again about library sciences, lately, but I just don't know. It's tough out here!

I definitely don't have 15 people to tag, but. @izupie @werewolfin @serenabeanie @womanaction @mana-sputachu perhaps, if you're feelin' it?

[dragonofeternal]

So this year has been really, really good in terms of like... reminding/validating that I'm actually like smart and good at what I do?

Like.

First off, I got my new job which whips ass and is super fun and challenging and pays way better and where my ability to do nine million different things is like very valuable. Like oh yeah, I can reformat this word doc/that powerpoint. Do you want me to do a little bit of graphic design to make this actually look nicer? Oh, you need this video for a presentation but it's on a site other than youtube? Yeah sure, I'll rip it for you. And also just the day-to-day of being able to take good notes, and being able to help copyedit training materials, and generally being a pleasant and mostly on top of things person in the office.

THEN, I took one of Killian's creative writing classes along with them. Which, for one thing, was super fun, good teacher, nice to have an organized space/time to hang out and talk about writing. But also it was really validating to have someone outside of the internet/my inner circle of friends read and critique my work who was like... I dunno another adult/serious writer type person? Our teacher is a published poet -- Though more specifically she's prolific as a TRANSLATOR of poetry. A fair number of the translated Palestinian poets you've seen being posted around tumblr recently are most certainly her work. -- and when she realized the level I was writing at she started critiquing my work a lot harder. Still had nice stuff to say! Just also being willing to dig in and point out places where I could improve.

We actually hung out with her last night at a fellow classmate's band's show and she took both me and Killian aside for expanded critique/thoughts on our final pieces, and said some really nice stuff which included that she sees both of us as like professional-grade writers who should continue to hone their craft and who she really wants to see succeed/get shit published/etc. I'm currently letting a short story (that is... probably gonna end up as a novella orz) that I wrote for class sit before I do another draft of it, and then she's offered to do a more critical line edit for me so I can shop it around and get it published somewhere really good.

(Which is also interesting because I see myself as working very much in genre spaces and she's very in the "literary" sort of mode, and she said that she saw a lot of literary prowess and style in how I wrote which she could see getting it published in a more literary type journal. And that's like a weird/wild thought bc of my complicated thoughts on the way the literary/publishing world looks at and treats genre writing blah blah blah....)

At the SAME show, though, our teacher had brought along a friend, who is also a teacher at the community college. Said friend works for the theatre department and recognized me from volunteering to act at a one-day event last semester for Killian's playwriting class. Like this was an event where I was acting for MAYBE a grand total of fifteen minutes. And she basically said "HEY YOU'RE REALLY GOOD, WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU AT ANY OF THE AUDITIONS?" So then I chatted with her some about how I've done a lot of theatre over the years but time/jobs/money meant I haven't had a chance to in a long time...

But now my job is a 9-5! So I gave her my number and I'm now basically the understudy for if/when someone drops out of the productions currently going on. Apparently they have a lot of issues with people dropping suddenly so it's likely that I'll end up doing something next semester! Which is good cuz like. Damn, do I love the theatre, and I've missed it A LOT.

I dunno just having two different people being really impressed about my creative work in a short time was really, really mood/ego boosting? I dunno. When I last did theater in Pittsburgh I ended up feeling really burnt out by the exhausting sense of always having to hunt for work, feeling like I wasn't good enough, etc... And last year I was struggling a lot with feeling like all my writing was futile/unwanted/etc... So having people remember me and be super complimentary was. Nice.

[minmin-pal]

ahh aighto, so following the guide list and watching part 1 n 2 in close succession, 3 then 4 then rohan ova, then 5 and 6. on the liveaction one, ngl i wouldn't really have much complaints about the fact it's not art, always fun to experience a fandom in its entirety like all the cool different mediums and stuff like that, especially for how long jjba's been going on for, there's so much to explore :D

okay not gonna lie, i may have desperately needed that warning about no characters being safe lol i get way too invested and attached to them so the head's up is appreciated ;; (/gen) i don't know why i'm kind of very curious about that though now, i haven't seen any author ever just straight up kill of characters (well i have but ya know?) especially main ones? got me on the edge of my seat now ngl. i'm also wondering whether i should just stave off the manga for now till after i finish the anime and that jazz, dunno to be able to binge the manga and feel it properly tbh

and ohh alright, i was reading another guide just now and it linked the "Stone Ocean OP / Opening" from yt and i see what you mean by cgi, i dunno how they do that so i'll assume it's like 3d models, the way the 3d bits fit the 2d animation style looked so cool and aaa the expressions are just so uniquely styled and all from what i've seen of a 1 minute clip lol but glad u were still able to enjoy the season tho tbh (/pos)

and oh!! there's tarot connections? aa i'm so excited to see how they do that, it's always super fun to see those small little references and u can giggle since your like "yay i got that ref :D" (/lh/hj) might have to grab some kind of bingo to see how many refs i catch haha (/j) but alrighty, noted, no research on kira will be committed, i mean aside from me searching for his design yesterday lol (/lh)

i don't know if it classifies as spoilers much but from the guide i read it said that around part 3 they switched to entities called strands with random powers? that was basically the gist of what i got before i stopped reading so is that one of the differences that separate part 1/2? but oh wait what? why would they say to skip :(? isn't it just more fun in general to start from the very, very start? and oh! joseph! i believe you've mentioned him before but i never heard of jonathan before, his hair looks super cool tho omg and no cause fr :( the uniqueness is part of the appeal isn't it? jjba already has the reputation of being: funky, unique and just being so alive, i don't get how someone would start watching an anime with a rep like that and not watch the first 2 seasons just cause ;; (/lh) awh help i'm getting attached to joseph now, he sounds so sweet tbh (/pos)

and yooo i get why you said "they really did that just cause they could" now" tbh that's a tad more impressive as opposed to just doing the special effects to big scenes, kinda feels like a flex about the artistic control they got over the season tbh (ya know, since like- creators don't really often get that much artistic autonomy with their shows anymore?) i really like that bit now actually ill be honest (/gen) 

and yes rohan is for real representing all side-characters doomed to only appearing for like 5 minutes or having no voice lines lol (/joke/lh) but ahh i'm actually interested in his character development now, the sillyness of him being the only one that could publish manwha properly whilst everyone else couldn't has piqued my interest xD (/lh) oh wait no, your point does actually make a lot of sense though if people demand utter copies from canon then it wouldn't really be as fun tho i dunno, creative liberties are very cool and ngl i could see it somewhat bombing if they did make it irl anime type ya know? idk but seems like the kind of thing twt would poke fun at :') (/lh) i'm glad about how it seemed to turn out though, poster looks super cool too 

and oHH you like aot? yay :D! i haven't watched in a while but unfortunately, i may have spoiled myself- kind of? i've seen the designs and new art style but the lore lost me even before i last watched a couple of years ago, have you caught up with the manga? what's your thoughts on the story and just general stuff like that if you don't mind me asking? feel free to not censor spoilers for this one, my brain's already pieced together bits of lore whenever aot would go trending on social media lol (/lh/nf) but yay hope you had fun with your brother while you watched it! (/gen)

i dunno why i always imagined that motion to be like a croak-type 'laugh' lol, but yeah denji's character definitely seems very funny haha tho course there's the serious story bits, not sure why but he actually somewhat reminds me of mineta? albeit of course denji's a lot more fleshed out and established (i'm not really caught up with the bnha manga so i dunno how mineta is currently, though tbh the similarities kind of end with their primary motivations centering women? (i dunno if i phrased that right, i hope the idea got thru tho ;; /lh)

wait oh noo, i've seen the anime already but this clip compilation is actually so sweet omg ;; i love yor but for some reason the first few episodes of loid being practically a single dad has my heart in a vice grip lol, they really did do the family dynamic between them so well (/gen) and ohh what are your thoughts on uhm- what's his name? yuri briar? yeah that's his name, the uncle and niece dynamic between him and anya was adorable to see lol

i finally found an proper working site with the english trans for the comic lol, i myt finish it in abt a day so i can ask some indepth questions about that when i do :D (if you don't mind ofc!) ngl being able to relate to a character however flawed really shows how well the writing was done (/pos) and wait that frame actually looks so pretty omg?? the artstyle is to be adored tbf, there's so many details and you can almost tell the emotions even without the text woah. and ohh! wait his been your layouts? i saw the holding knife banner but i didn't recognize the artstyle till you pointed it out (/lh) 

help naur,  disliking sm that you don't remember his name is very cool lmao(/hj/lh) but oof, i already don't like him from this one frame i see,  ah- i'm kind of excited to see this dude that comes before him now lol. and yeah the 'brown haired boy' archetype is definitely a hit or miss, have you ever watched 'a silent voice' by any chance? i can see your fond of found family/slice of life and genres like 'killer in love' (assuming you read from the genre /lh, eng is failing me rn im srry) what are your feelings or thoughts on other genres? maybe like- time travel/romance/reincarntion (is that just isekai actually?)/comedy/action maybe? i heard shield hero was pretty popular, do you like that? 

honestly, i get how you feel about one piece ngl:') i've watched a ton of analysis videos on that but it's always a whiplash to see the diversity in the male characters then see the female characters, coming from a vid i watched they said "It's like there's no middle ground, your either made into the standard body type (the girls in the images:') ya attached ) or your made 'grotesque' (the video cues a photo of big mama)" tbf i don't actually know big mama's character and there isn't really anything wrong with being that weight but i do get the gist of the idea the vid was talking about (artstyle side ofc), 

and oh, i''m gonna be honest i've never actually understood the whole highlight thing, i always assumed they were all sweating when i saw the shine if that makes sense (/hj/lh) but yeah, i can get how it's p much  a redflag or at least can makes someone uncomfy (/gen) 

and yay, ty for clarifying on that, i don't realize how much the text piles up till i send the ask ngl, and oh wait- i never really noticed the ideas might have felt disconnected tbh, flowed p fine for me though i may just not have noticed it /lh)

and oh, i don't really mind it lmao, feel free to call me mikey or custard (it actually sounds silly in a /lh way lmao haha /pos/lh) feel free to choose whichever, i don't really mind tbh

last bit- omg min (r you alright with me calling u that btw?/nf) did jjba s1 outro make the "we'll be right back" meme sound?? i'm questioning everything i know rn (/j/lh)

happy morning (very long response)

(also poorly formatted. every line break is answering its corresponding one in ur ask) (in most cases im so sorry :sob:) mhm!! theres a whole lot of extra stuff to read aswell-- like after part 4 araki didnt just make the rohan ova, he also made "dead man's questions" which you probably should also read (not watch as theres no anime version) after part 4-- it follows a character who dies in part 4 which is why i wont say ANYTHING about it. i heeaaavily advise you to not even search it up- like at all its mc is a MAJOR character spoiler like not until youve finished part 4 okay

also, despite no character being safe, i wholeheartedly push you to still love and care about every character your heart Will. shatter atleast once, but thats the fun in it really? i started jjba after watching the original naruto, so the first time a main character, like a *main* died i was just shellshocked the entire time i was waiting for them to bring the person back cause it was like You can't be serious? i REALLY dont wanna gas it up but the ending to part 1 was genuinely wild aswell W series

for the stone ocean cgi i didnt really mean the into but in animation itself for some scenes they used like 3d models and such for the powers and effects, and it sometimes might not be noticable, but when you see it. you see it and its like theyre really doing that and its genuinely so cool

the tarot connections are mainly part 3's thing- the way they names most abilities at least my favorite being death (13) mainly because the episode had me SO intrigued- honestly my favorite jojo episode other than this episode in part 4 (will not disclose [spoilers] but its the "bites the dust" episode- youll know it when you get there) hearing the ability names; it was always great to go "hey i know that band!" but i must say if youre watching the anime with subtitles, or in dub, what you read is not the stands name (or hear if dub) the stand name in most cases, will not be the same as it was originally, as well, copyright purposes really, so in western versions the name the person says (for sub) will not line up with the subtitles man in the mirror for example in the subtitles is reffered to as "mirror man" , so if you get to the part with stands, just know you might not be able to like get some references unless you listen to the japanese name not that it matters it just popped into head lol

and yes thats the big change really, the reason people say to fully skip part 1 and 2 the lack of stands which is so childish.. like really? you dont like the main fundamental parts of the series cuz they dont have big punchy monster powers? i assume youve met johnathan by now, judging byyour comment on the ending music YOU WILL (PROBABLY) LOVE HIM hes just a sweetheart like a mary sue mc but in a not mary sue way

yayaya :DD the team behind jojo REALLY can take the liberties they want and thats probably because the manga/araki is weird as hell like think. uh. spy family you just couldnt do the stuff you do in jojo there, not even story wise but art wise everything is so "polished" and set? like i dont wanna say polished, because jojo is *very* sleek looking but like you get what i mean

where was i.... honestly, jojo side characters (unless theyre like minor antags that get beat in one episode) are really prevalent as the seasons go on and one thing i can REALLY applaud araki (as if i havent been applauding him for EVERYTHING) is that he doesnt forget characters if you meet a side character that isnt evil, you Will. meet them again at least once something i like in part 4 (can you tell its my favorite part?) is that all the characters sort of have their own episode (even the sidest of side characters) when you watch it itll make more sense, but like the side characters arent just plot devices i guess youll see them roaming the street and the characters'll walk past the same bg characters multiple times, and that bg character genuinely wont matter i think it goes hand in hand with the whole everyone knows everyone small town theme but it's still super cool and yes!!! i get so dissapointed when i see irl anime reboots and they are literally just cosplaying the characters nooooo!! the point is that its in real life!!! make the story your own!!! yeah i loved aot :D its not a favorite of mine but its top on my lest i should do like a tier list or something of all the mangas/animes i can remember ive watched ive watched a whole lot actually theres not a lot else to do when youre a shut-in :sob: im all caught up with the aot manga the ending. had me shellshocked genuinely had me blinking like.. thats not okay where was my happy ending??? my overall overall thoughts are is that.. well.. i really love when mangakas just through your expectations out the window and thenh grabs them back and spits on them and throws them out another window just to mess with you so i loved aot; the lore behind the titans and everything? confusing but once i got it they had me rolling over in my bed sorry if ive been getting off topic alot by the way . _ .

croak type laugh is what i meant thanks for giving me a solid term :pray: and !! what i like about csm is actually something i saw in a rant on reddit and i have this issue where i repeat what ive read or heard verbatim solike. what im saying next is not only my thoughts but csm isnt really.... about the lore it isnt about the backgrounds and the world building its about denji and his personal growth and!! the growth of the people around him too https://www.reddit.com/r/ChainsawMan/comments/103xnqk/rant_i_hate_how_people_misunderstand_the_point_of/ ^says it much better than i ever can also... i think the biggest difference between mineta and denji is that denji knows what consent is also that denji is a person, whilst mineta is sorta just his character trait (one was made to be disliked, one made to be liked aswell) i am So glad youve seen sxf its just so charming honestly like,... i love happy slice of lifes sm nichijou, lucky star, shows like that and spy is just such a good show, its heartwarming whilst also definitely being about a spy trying to safe the country by adopting a kid and getting married the family dynamic is just c: -- i dont really love or hate yuri him and anya are cute together but... ive never really liked the obsessive brother trope and that Is yuri's entire character mainly so idrk how to feel about him hes not a bad character though i will say

and yES!! when u finish it i'd love to hear your thoughts and questions :pray: and!! being able to like characters that r super bad people is such a major sign of good writing and having bad characters that causes your reader physical pain is also a sign of good writing

i genuinely love this artstyle it feels full of color. and is in black and white :kneel:

nameless white haired guy is just really insufferable from what i remember hes just gassed up too much by the people that surround him so his ego is the size of the lotte world tower the dude that comes before him comes into the manga EARLY like EARLY- chapter three i think theres another person just like him, more like him than the guy i was referencing, "arata" hes bad too but not.. as bad. the guy i was referencing assuming youve read to atleast chap 3 is the hooded weird guy with black hair I can't remember his name either. :grin: i love him though his name is just not said other than one time i think; (sorry this is so..... discombobulated- m reading ur ask then directly responding here. i need to start using transitional phrases) i have watched + read a silence voice, i loved it but i watched and read it in like the same 2 days so i cant tell you small stuff i liked its like cramming studies before a test. you absorb it for a day but afterwards youre only left with how you felt- in this case i remember crying at the end- and the ending but i dont remember specifics or like the traits i loved minus.. nijimiya? i think? was a sweetheart. genuinely adorable i loved her and her little sister as well as shoto (i think is his names) character development. kids are assholes; he was an asshole kid and he grew up and was Not an asshole kid whats not to love for other types of genres... i like horror but i dont like horror mangas/animes that are 'scare' horror idk how to describe scare horror but like.. if stuff r creepy just to be creepy its just not enthralling i love psychological horrors though things like oyasumi punpun or junji ito's stuff (notably uzumaki) i like dramas aswell but like. neon genesis type i think you could sum up my taste as things that are depressing at their core... minus slice of lifes. and like every other romance

i think those would fall into the isekai category for comedy and action though i dont mind it honestly all depends on the thing itself-- i dont like sports mangas but i watched blue lock since it looked cool to me and i didnt hate it not a favorite, but its not under like c tier i havent heard of shield hero honestly-- but i did check it out the designs are nice but i dont think ill watch it

the ONE reason i wont watch one piece is the femals character designs i know its like a 1000+ chapter manga, made by a male mangaka which is a bad sign because to make manga, you must like manga people who like manga enough to write it probably do not see people of the preferred sex at all, so like yeah hes never met a woman other than his mother so he cant draw them but come one you mentioned her so i have to bring her up

come on man. is this really it? just like you said, its either they fit the mangakas beauty standard for women or they are grotesque theres no in between at all and the men designs are so different and unique and vibrant!! he could make more unique female designs he just doesnt :sob:

for the highlights on skin type thing. i have exactly one example in mind- now as a preface peni parker (the girl) is fifteen miles morales (boy) is seventeen im not insinuating anything being illegal here, and if you think that it wouldnt be my point, so ihave to make a point here that that is not what my problem is as a second preface, miles morales looks like this

i sound silly as hell right now. "of course miles looks like that- whats your point? arent we talking about art highlights??" (art is not mine. of course it isnt its.,... look at it...)

I'm not going to comment on the bulge. I won't comment on his lips. I won't even comment on the fact that this is ship fanart, for a ship that... if you've watched itsv or atsv just feels wrong the one thing i immediately picked up on was how they highlighted that line on peni's thighs theres alot of stuff you can just tell by an artstyle the person who drew that i can honestly say is not a good person even if they didnt draw miles like... that... i wouldnt trust them around children highlights alone my point originally wasnt that i didnt like how they look, it was more that you can tell alot about people by the way thy draw just like how you can tell a bit about someone based of their vocabulary the person who drew that Is a pedophile i can just feel it things like that

I DONT MIND THE TEXT PILING UP :pray: IT MAKESME RLLY HAPPY TOI RECIEVE THESE I AM DELIGHTED THE FLOW IS ALSO FINE!! :thumbsup: u can call me whatever (min, minjae, minmin, minpal, 8, 8pal, palpal... i dont think theres any other names associated with this acc)

and last but not least the end IS the meme i had the same realization youre not alone

[pupintransit]

I'm gonna try not to have this be a self-indulgent "woe is me" sort of post. I'm probably not gonna succeed. I might not even hit post once i'm done. But i wanted to at least try to write about how i'm feeling, if for no other reason than to read it back and see if i agree with myself.

The goal of posting pics and stories of myself online, much like any other social media influencer, is to engage with folks and build an audience. My content is largely self-published pornography, so there's an additional goal of being an attractive sex object. And while i'll never be an overnight sensation the feedback I've gotten has been really positive, and i've made a few genuine friendships because of it! It's also incredibly affirming to have so many people comment positively on my body. I love feeling desired and i'm really motivated to start a JustForFans after surgery.

Now, as seems to be the theme of these posts lately, I'm feeling weird about a positive circumstance that should instead summon joy. Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop and reveal that this experience has been an elaborate prank.

I was never popular as a kid, nor was I particularly popular as a younger adult early in college. I didn't like how i looked back then and feedback from others, most notably getting asked out as a prank pulled on someone else, fed into that. Throw an abusive (now ex, thankfully) partner into the mix who sneered and bullied rather than talking about his feelings honestly, and a handful of other anxieties I don't know how to describe accurately, and bada-bing bada-boom i'm left with more self-esteem issues than most folks i know.

Over time it got easier. I dunno if I had a glow up, fell in with kinder people, or both, but i don't have nearly the same shame put upon my body as i used to. As modest as my following is, people still tune in regularly and have wonderful things to say about me and how i look. The friendships i've made also feel warm and genuine, and i can share so much of myself with them. But it's hard to accept it all as real sometimes, and i don't know how to finally overcome that.

Now you might be thinking to yourself "What, you had a bad time in high school and now you're scared to have people tell you how great your nudes are? Oh, the tears of the chad! I wish I had your problems." And I just.... do you though? I don't revel in second guessing every nice thing somebody tells me, or worrying if my friends will one day start being snide instead of honest. Somehow i don't think you do either.

I may want to phone my therapist.

[skypied]

AO3 Wrapped Questions!

3, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 16, 20, 27, 28, 29, 30 :)

I'm guessing wrapped implies "works from this year" so I'm only going off those! Buckle uuuuup this is getting looooong like always

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Hmmm, maybe Back Home. Most of my fics this year feel like mindless brain dumps, but this feels more like a complete work.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Probably hard feelings? It generally has a lot less hits and kudos than most my other work, probably because of it being angst without a happy ending (YET), but through the months it's gotten a lot of very sweet and heartfelt and/or heartbreaking comments.

Back Home also got a lot more feedback than expected - it was one of those venting fics that I didn't really expect to resonate and/or not be enjoyed by anyone else but me.

6. Favorite title you used

Hmmmmmmmm , I don't really think any of my titles this year stand out :p Maybe Catch of the Day, just bc it's so stupid.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

Most my titles from this year weren't song titles actually! Surprising, since I used to exclusively use song lyrics. There's only hard feelings (Lorde) and Can't Help It, I'm Obsessed (Sam Riggs).

(In 2021 we had Orla Gartland, Lizzo, Troye Sivan, Taylor Swift, Halsey and Maria Mena. Taylor and Maria were used twice: so they win. I think Maria would win overall for how many times her lyrics have been direct inspiration.)

10. What work was the quickest to write?

Probably a tie between the first chapter of hard feelings (started at like 10 in the morning when I was supposed to work, lol) - and Home (written while perched on the kitchen counter watching onions caramellize for onion soup). Both were around four hours, maybe one or two more for revisions.

Wait, actually, both chapters of Catch of the Day were mostly written in an hour or two each.

11. What work took you the longest to write?

Depends on whether you count hours spent on it, or stretch of time it took to finish it haha.

I do have wips I started last summer. Most of them are probably never gonna be anything. But I do have a wip that's almost done and I still intend to finish that I began... 14 months ago. oops.

But among published work - the ones that took the longest stretch of time is probably undertow and chapter two of hard feelings. According to docs, I began undertow on Christmas Eve last year (damn, didn't I have anything better to do?), so it tooooook... almost nine months? It's also kind of a mashup between three aimless wips that I eventually figured out went well enough to just patch together. hard feelings part two took seven months.

Most hours spent on it is harder to gauge, but maybe Can't Help It, I'm Obsessed. I remember I spent most my free time on it for maybe two-three weeks. (And then Annie kindly and graciously and perfectly finished it for me, thank god; I'd gotten myself in a real rut with it.)

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Oh I dunno. Most are generic things like genre, established relationship and aged-up characters. The only one that sticks out is probably Alberto Scorfano has ADHD.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Prrrroooobably Trust Fall! I think it's just sweet and neat.

27. What do you listen to while writing?

That goes in cycles. Sometimes a playlist with classical music mixed in with movie soundtracks. Sometimes just whatever album I'm hooked on at the moment. I have some specific music for specific things, most are one song I'll loop for hours:

Downtown (feat Pri Pach) by BYOR, VINNE, Pri Pach. It's SO good for hyperfixating and writing smut 2am on a weekday. (Been a while since I did that, though.) There’s a reason it was my #1 on Spotify Wrapped last year, and #2 this year.

IDFC (feat. Ravenna Golden) by WHIPPED CREAM, Perto, Ravenna Golden. Same as Downtown. It tingles my brain.

River by Bishop Briggs. Great for emotionally charged and angsty smut.

I've spent HOOOOOURS listening to just 22:12 Until The End of Time from the Haven soundtrack while writing, no specific genre.

I generally listen a lot to Kevin Atwater to get into those Sad Boy Feelings (especially when writing about Alberto being too brainwashed by Christianity to admit his feelings for Luca. God I still love that AU, shame it's never getting finished.)

Lately I've been rewatching TV shows while writing, just to have something moving on the screen and something to listen to.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

Hmm hmm hmmmmm, feel like I'm repeating myself here but Back Home and hard feelings. Both feel like is the first complete stories I wrote. Most my stuff is just scenes, this was the first that spanned over a longer time and connected themes together.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Ahhh idk if I have the patience to reread all 50k I published this year, so I'm taking a couple that come to mind:

It’s stupid and predictable and sometimes Luca wonders when they’ll tire of this, when the intensity of the teenage crush will fade into something more mature, as his mother used to sigh when they were chasing each other’s tails around the bay. It’s been years, and he’s starting to suspect this is just what they’re like, perpetually snickering like kids breaking curfew, whispering secrets in a blanket fort and constantly one-upping each other. 

from Morning Routines. The whole fic is stupid, silly fun, but I feel like this passage sums up their relationship in a cute way.

You know him like the back of your hand, but he’s scarily good at slipping under your skin to hide. You convince yourself otherwise, but you can never really tell. Not really. But it’s yet another trust you have to fall into, accept the rush of gravity and hope he catches you. 

Trust Fall, chapter one

He looks at you, breathless and disbelieving. Disbelieving your love for him. When it’s the only thing you truly believe in, when nothing in this chaotic world makes sense without him, when it’s the seam keeping your life stitched together.  

You wish he could reach inside your chest, clench your heart tight and feel that it’s more his than your own. You wish you could put your mouth to his ear like a conch shell, and he’d hear the ceaseless waves that lap in the back of your mind whispering his name. You wish he could feel the magnetic pull from somewhere deep in your guts that makes you unable to stop orbiting him. 

You don’t dare imagine what would happen if he stopped letting you love him. 

Trust fall, chapter two

Both of these from Trust Fall are some of the rare instances that I feel like I’ve written analogies that feel complete and make sense for them and the work itself. 

You stare up like you used to, towards the incomprehensible lights of celestial bodies dancing on the surface, towards the never-ending fantasies of freedom forever pulling you towards the next horizon. Except now there is an anchor wrapped up in your tail, with a low, humming purr filling your body and quieting the restless whisper in the undercurrent of your blood and gentle claws tracing patterns over your ribs, all brazen ferociousness gone for listless limbs and a sleepy murmur whenever you shift.

There’s still a pull, a need to see, try, explore more. But maybe you don’t need to leave everything behind to feel free. 

from undertow. I feel like this is the closest I’ll come to writing something about Luca’s “teenage rebellion” need for freedom that might lead him to neglect friendships/relationships for fear of being smothered again, and becoming comfortable with intimacy and vulnerability and being tied down.

Also this line:

You don’t want him to be in love with you unless it hurts.

This whole thing from ch2 of Back Home:

“Do you still love me?” you ask again, but now your breath is slow and calm because you know the answer. But you have to ask. Just in case. 

You know the answer because he’s ripped your heart out and sown it back together; replaced old, festering scabs with gossamer threads of promises and gently placed it back inside. It’s still a fragile, ugly patchwork, but he’ll keep replacing bits and pieces of old hurt with new hope until it’s whole. You know it because he has scratch marks and bruises down his back and neck colored by your love and rage, because he lets you ruin him to save yourself.

You know it because you believe him more than you believe yourself.

“More than anything,” he says in a firm voice, as if it’s a fact as natural and definite as the sun rising and setting. He picks the smoldering stardust off the floor, breathes life back into the stars and places them back into your eyes. He smothers the flaming rage in your veins and replaces your blood with love. Because he loves you. You love him too. You love him more than anything and it hurts more than anything. But it’s worth it for the blissful, warm silence when he looks at you and you know he’s seen everything inside you and still he wants to. He makes your heart into a home and you let him. No matter how many times you tear it down in all-consuming fits of rage, he puts it back in order and you let him. He wants to make you better and you want to let him.

yayyy I love breaking Alberto and putting him back together again<3

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Maybe how drastic the shift from only writing smut to never writing smut was? haha. Dgmw, I still write smut, but I just... don't finish it. Idk, it always ends up pushing up against things I'm uncomfortable with, or I write myself into corners. I feel like they're always things that aren't really a big deal, but they turn into massive hurdles in my head. And while writing smut is fun, I eventually end up feeling like I'm just writing the same things over and over. Which, y'know, is still fun and doesn't mean it's not valuable! I guess I just get really self-conscious over baring my ass on the internet.

On a more positive note, I think I've managed to keep a bit more distance to my writing. I do often get stuck with writing, and that frustration used to encompass everything and be... not great for me mentally. I used to obsess a lot more about feedback and get really bummed out about "underperforming" works and compare myself a lot to others. Now it's more like... I just chuck stuff I think is neat up on AO3 and don't think much more of it.

I’ve also experimented a lot more with style than I expected, and I guess found my voice a bit more!

ALSO how much Luca POV I’ve written. I still feel like I don’t understand the guy, but he’s fun to write. Alberto POV tends to become ... dark, lol.

[rachaellawrites]

I've been trying to figure out WFH freelance work I can do while still being a full-time stay-at-home mom until my kiddo starts school (which is already slightly delayed because of a combination of potty training issues, behavioural issues, and issues associated with where we're living right now). It is, uh... hard.

For one thing, I need to be fully in control of my own schedule. I can only work at night when my kiddo is sleeping, but I also wouldn't be able to work every night because sometimes the kiddo decides that sleep is for the weak and it takes, like, an extra hour to get him to go down. Sometimes longer. I have no way of predicting when this will happen.

Also long Covid is hell and equally unpredictable. If I wake up at 2am with a coughing fit and can't get back to sleep until 6am, then I'm gonna need to go to sleep as soon as the kiddo goes down. No way will my brain accommodate doing work after a day like that.

I also haven't worked since 2019, and the last job I had was very casual gig work. I would love to try my hand at some form of editing/proofreading work, but I have no credentials or formal experience in that, so I'm a) nervous of my ability to provide quality feedback, and b) not sure how I would market my skills.

I've set up a Ko-fi and have considered sharing paywalled content there, but I'm not sure what.

I could maybe dust off some old short stories and post them, but I'll run out of them pretty quick and don't know when I'll have a chance to properly dedicate time to writing more.

I could do ko-fi exclusive rant reviews, but I'm not sure if the books I'm interested in are ones people would pay to hear me ramble about, and I don’t think I can fit in review requests with my current time constraints unless I completely sacrifice reading for pleasure.

I've toyed with the idea of breaking down excerpts from published books to highlight what works, what doesn't work, and analyze the prose from a craft and storytelling perspective (which could be educational for other authors, entertainment for people who just like seeing things dissected, and demonstrative of my editing/proofreading eye if I go that route for freelance work). But I don't know if that's something people would be interested in paying for? Or how much to charge? Or how to ensure I'm within the bounds of fair use for copyrighted content?

Man, I dunno. It's a lot to think about. And I unfortunately don't get a lot of time to myself to think 😵‍💫