#so i have time to like get in the right mindset for that

[itsrlymine]

i apologize for the really long ask but i really wanted to share my thoughts and i would make my own loa blog but i dont have it in me to deal with anons so i fear i will dump them all on you 😔 first off i want to say THANKKKK YOUUUUUU you literally changed my manifestation journey i used to be really into manifestation back in 2021/2022 and i was trying to manifest my dream face but it never happened no matter how much i affirmed or listened to subs or anything so i was just like fuck it this manifesting stuff isnt real imma just move on with my life and thats how i went about my life until you popped up on my dashboard a month ago and usually i would click not interested on any loa content but i was like you know what lemme give this stuff a chance again bc i did try the non manifesting route and it didnt work out bc when i tell you my life went DOWNHILL i used to protect myself from negative experiences by having the belief that i was simply the exception to terrible stuff but the moment i left the loa behind and was like no thats unrealistic anything can happen well guess what!! so many bad stuff happened in my life the last 2 years its genuinely crazy. so i was like lemme try this again and i went through your blog and really tried to materialize everything you were saying and read it with the attitude that what you are saying IS real instead of the doubting attitude i had towards loa advice/info back in 2022 and things really shifted for me.

so the first thing i learned is that MANIFESTATION IS REAL and more importantly NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE what i went through these past two years was proof to me that manifestation is real because once i adopted that negative mindset and dropped any positive beliefs i had my life became a nightmare and all those terrible thoughts manifested right before my eyes. for example i used to believe that i always looked pretty no matter what, this was just something part of my belief system but when i abandoned the law and everything i told myself no thats crazy i cant mAniFeSt looking pretty its unrealistic if im not pretty then im just not and bro when i tell you i was at my lowest appearance wise I WAS AT MY LOWESSTT my classmates at school would come up to me and tell me i looked so different and so dull even my mom would say the same stuff to me and tell me i changed i also noticed a difference when i looked in the mirror. the reason why i felt like manifestation wasnt real was because it just seemed really crazy to me, i felt like things materializing out of nowhere and appearances changing drastically was just like something fantastical and just not possible here in the real world. well i am here to tell you that is NAWT THE CASE! the world is not logical and im gonna tell you why. most of us here have grew up religious, and whats more illogical than religion? there are so many stories in the bible where illogical stuff happen like youre telling me some guy can turn water into wine? doesnt that sound like something out of a fantasy movie? but it happened, right? you believe in the bible so you believe in all the stuff that happened in it even the magical stuff. and another thing with growing up religious is that we always hear stories about miracles where for example a neighbor who was really sick suddenly woke up completely healthy. and we also were taught that we can ask god for anything and that god can make anything happen. i remember when my dad would teach me about religion he would say that god can make the grass is purple if he wanted to. it isnt just in religion but also in another spiritual communities and stuff they also have their own stories where things that dont really make sense logically happen. this goes to show that the world and humanity were never logical and that illogical things can happen, they've been happening since the dawn of time. people just came up with their own explanations. so get that thought that you cant change your entire face because its too crazy out of your head because it isn't. anything is possible. we literally live on a rock and we somehow move and speak and talk and somehow atoms exist so pls get with the program aint nothing logical in this life and the sooner you come to terms with that the better. nothing is too crazy because existence itself is crazy.

the second thing i learned was that MANIFESTATION IS NOT A PROCESS. i used to hear this all the time back in 2022 and it never made sense to me i was always like what tf are yall talking about???? my understanding was that manifestation is the act of trying to get something, but i was so so wrong. everything changed for me when i started approaching manifestation with the attitude that i was reminding myself of what i have, not trying to get what i want. basically stop thinking of manifestation as manifestation if ykwim. to really understand this im gonna have to talk about the whole "decide that you have your desire > affirm that you have it > keep presisting" thing and break it down.

so what do people mean when they tell you to decide that you have your desire? does it mean saying out loud "i have __" and then a few seconds going "alright wheres my ___?" no. it means you in your mind decide that its ALREADY YOURS and that you ALREADY GOT IT. i dont know how to word this any differently because its so simple its literally in the words. im gonna try an example. im assuming that youre reading this with your eyes so you have eyes. are you trying to 'manifest' having eyes? when you say "i have eyes" are you using an affirmation to get eyes? is having eyes a desire youre trying to 'manifest'? no because you literally already have eyes bro how else are you reading this with your bootyhole??? so when you say "i have eyes" you arent manifesting via affirming, youre just saying it to remind yourself because well you have eyes. you arent trying to manifest eyes because you already have them. thats what it means to decide that your desire is yours. it means to stop treating what is yours as a desire because its literally yours. stop seeing it as something youre trying to manifest because you already have it, wtf do you need to manifest for? do you get it? don't think of doing this as you tricking your mind into thinking you have your desires because AGAINN you arent tricking anything you literally already have it. when you say "i have eyes" and you have eyes are you trying to trick gour brain? no. that sounds silly. im sorry that this is so repetitive but its literally that simple idk what everyone else is doing complicating the most simple thing ever.

and now, what do people mean by affirm that you have it? does that mean using affirmations to manifest your 'desire'? (i put desire in quotations bc you already have it since you decided you do) no. it simply means reminding yourself that you do. ill go back to the eyes example. if you were to say "i have eyes" right now would you understand that as some woo woo manifestation affirmation technique? no because you already have eyes. what youre doing is simply stating a fact and reminding yourself of it for funsies. you arent trying to manifest anything because you already have it. affirming doesn't mean tricking your brain or your subconscious that you have your desire or whatever, its just you reminding yourself.

and finally, what does it mean to persist? does that mean fighting for your life trying to convince yourself that you have your desire? no. because you already have it. it simply means that everytime you ask yourself "oh why isnt this showing up in my 3d?" you tell yourself "bro what tf are you on about were not manifesting anything we already have it are you crazy?" that's all. going back to the eyes example, you know you have eyes, so if someone came up to you rn and was like "hey did your eyes come in yet?" you'd probably think they hit their head or something because your eyes are literally right there its how youre seeing their dumbass. that's the same attitude you have to have towards your 'desires'. stop thinking of your 'desires' as desires, stop thinking youre trying to manifest anything, stop thinking you have to wait for anything to show up in the 3d or that the 3d is lagging behind or whatever, stop seeing manifestation as manifestation, stop imagining yourself sending in success stories asks when you get your desires, basically just stop dawg. you already have it. "dont contradict yourself" (although again you arent contradicting anything bc you already have it im just running out of ways to simply something thats already so simple). thats what it means to manifest instantly.

anyways thats all i wanted to say. im so sorry for the horrendously long ask i would make it even longer by talking about my success now but i think you would beat my ass if i did. bye bye love u

!!!!! you ate this whole thing up. y'all better come read this.

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 43: Lies

Summary: Things are getting better...or are they?

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 5,029 words

Warnings: Alpha/beta/omega dynamics, a/b/o, omegaverse, angst, kissing, 'mega being a badass, angst, emotions, fluff, angst

A/N: Sorry not sorry

“Kyle.” 

The name is whispered in the silence, floating through the air around you. There’s no response from the body wrapped around you aside from a quiet snore. You drive your elbow back into his chest, whispering his name once more. 

“Kyle.” 

He lets out a snore, jolting out of sleep suddenly as your elbow digs into his pectoral muscle. “Hm, what?” He slurs, still half asleep. 

“Kyle, I didn’t have a nightmare last night.” You say quietly, kicking the volume up to just above a whisper. 

“Mmm that’s good.” He murmurs sleepily, scooting closer to you to press his face against your shoulder blade. “Really good.” 

“No Phil this time either.” You say, excitement starting to bubble in your stomach. No nightmares, no sign of Phil haunting your mind in sleep or awake. 

Maybe Dr. Keller is right and you really are healing. 

It’s been weeks since he died, since you drove that knife into his neck. The memories of warm blood spurting onto your skin, the life leaving his eyes still has your stomach twisting with nausea, but the nightmares of his haunting presence have ceased for now. 

“It’s been a year today,” You say into the silence. “Since I joined the pack.” 

“Mhm.” Kyle hums against your shoulder, pressing his face closer against your skin. 

“So much has happened in such a short amount of time.” You muse. 

Kyle’s arm moves from around your waist, lifting up towards your face. His hand covers your mouth, cutting off the words that had been on the tip of your tongue. “‘S too early.” He murmurs. “Go back to sleep.” 

His lips brushing your skin with every word has butterflies fluttering in your stomach. It feels much like it did in the early stages of your integration into their pack, back when you had small crushes on each of them, when the relationships were new and exciting. They feel new now, the dynamics changing between all of you since that day you sat them down and set the record straight. 

“Sit down and listen.” You try to stop your voice from shaking as you stand before the four giant forms that make up the rest of your pack. Dr. Keller has gone out for the day, leaving just the five of you alone. 

You may or may not have asked her to do so.

The four of them look surprised by your authoritative tone, shocked even. They stand there dumbly, staring at you with wide eyes. 

You let out a quiet sigh. This is going to be harder than you thought it was going to be. 

“I said, sit down and listen.” You repeat, the four of them slowly sinking down onto their seats. Their eyes are still on you, still filled with surprise at this sudden change. 

You stare at them, John seated in the chair across from you, the most taken aback at this sudden shift in your attitude. Johnny and Kyle are seated to your right, both of them staring at you in surprise. Simon looks the least surprised by this outburst, yet his eyes are still softer than the hardened gaze he’s been giving you for weeks. 

You clear your throat, straightening your back as you stand before them. “We have some things to discuss as a pack.” You shift on your feet, trying to shove down those nervous butterflies in your stomach. 

This could go south fast if they wanted it to. 

“Some things about where we stand,” You continue. “How things are going to look moving forward.” You fall silent for a moment, looking at each of them. The surprise has faded, all of them focused and dialed in on you. 

You can’t help but wonder if this is how they looked during debriefs, so laser focused and in tune with what’s happening. You can’t help but wonder if they’re shifting into that mindset, if they’re viewing this as a mission and not as what it should be. 

You shove those thoughts back into the recesses of your mind, steeling yourself again for the coming storm you’re about to brew.

“I don’t want things to go back to the way they were.” You say, your hands tugging at your shirt nervously. “They didn’t work that way. Well, they might have worked for you, but they didn’t for me and that’s why we’re here today. To have a conversation we should have had at the start.” 

They stay sitting there, all of them scarily still as you speak. You’re not even sure they’re still breathing. You may as well be talking to a bunch of statues. You stare at John until he blinks just to be sure. 

“I don’t want things to go back to the way they were because it wasn’t fair for me. You were all kind and welcoming and you treated me well, but you weren’t supportive of me and what I needed.” You swallow the nervous lump in your throat. “I know you were trying, but it wasn’t right and I was too afraid to say anything. Omegas are supposed to be the glue that holds packs together.” You quote the book, the one you tried to keep secret from them until Simon found it. “We’re the ones doing the heavy lifting, the ones clinging to the threads of bonds for dear life. Even if I’m not involved in your bonds with each other, I’m still holding those strings. I fall, you all fall.” You clear your throat. “I think we’ve seen enough proof of that over the past couple months.” 

None of them move as you speak. You hope they already knew what you were addressing, that they already understood. You hope this isn’t news to them, that you’re not walking them through some mind-boggling discovery. 

“I’m the one holding this pack together, so I should be treated fairly.” You take a breath to steady yourself. “I know you tried before, but you weren’t...doing it right. You weren’t allowing me into the places I should have been, into the roles I’m supposed to play.” You gulp, your eyes flicking over the four of them. “I’m in charge.” 

Finally one of them moves, John shifting slightly in his seat. It’s a direct challenge to his status, to his role in the pack, and it’s coming from an omega. In hindsight, you could have worded it better, but you were too worried about losing the nerve that’s fueled you up to this moment. 

“I’m the one in charge of how these bonds develop, how they work, how they flow together, so I need to be in charge of things that might affect those bonds.” Your eyes are glued to John’s, watching his face. “I need a voice in this pack. I may not be able to point us in a direction, but I need to know what that direction is so I can understand how that direction might affect us as a pack, and if it's worth it.” 

You take a deep breath, trying to calm the emotions starting to rise in you. Nerves still twist in your stomach as you continue, their lack of reactions only fueling the nerves. What are they thinking? How are they going to react? None of them have interrupted you so far, berating you for making such demands or shutting you down before you can get much further. 

They really are sitting and listening to you. 

“I know the situation made that impossible. I know it wasn’t any of your faults for the way things had to be because of the military and your jobs and all of the secrecy, but it can’t be like that anymore. I know you kept me separated and in the dark for my own safety, but...” You hold your arms out. “Look at where it got us anyway. No matter what happens next, I can’t be in the dark anymore. It’s...it’s killing me. It almost did kill me.” 

They all shift at your words. Voicing that reality has struck a chord deep within them. They’ve all thought it, but none of them have acknowledged it outright. None of them quite understand the gravity of what happened at the level you do...except perhaps Simon. He was knee deep in it with you. He’s the reason it didn’t kill you. 

“No matter what happens next, no matter what unfolds, I can’t be an outsider anymore.” Your voice has softened, your tone lowering as the nerves begin to settle. You’re losing steam, your overworked adrenal glands wearing out faster than you might have planned. “I just...I don’t want this pack to fall apart, and...I can’t do it alone. I’m not supposed to be alone. None of us are.” You shift on your feet. “So kiss and make up already because you’re driving me crazy.” 

They all let out quiet chuckles at your words, the nerves settling even more at their reactions. No screaming, no berating, no opposition. Just sitting and listening like you said. 

John leans forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. “I think we can all agree with what you said. It wasn’t fair, the way we treated you. Sure the situation was complicated, but things could have been done differently. We could have let you in more than we did.” 

“We cut ye off too much.” Johnny says. 

“You’re right.” John continues, taking you by surprise. “Alphas and omegas are supposed to work together. We all have our roles we play, and alpha and omega should be equal.” He glances around at the rest of the pack. “We shouldn’t go back to the way things were. They won’t ever be like that again, and that’s a good thing. We’ve all learned from our mistakes, mistakes that shouldn’t have happened in the first place. We’ll never truly be able to make up for them, but we can work to fix what can be repaired.” 

You stare at him for a long moment, realizing he’s waiting for your approval. It makes you feel good, proud. Your omega preens happily, some of the weight being removed from your shoulders. They’re willing to work with you, willing to bend the knee and allow you to lead them in this. 

You nod. “Good. I’m glad we could come to this agreement.” 

You feel like passing out as the tension and adrenaline starts to wear off. You plop down on the couch next to Simon, letting out a long breath.

“You okay?” Kyle asks. 

You huff out a laugh. “That was scary.” 

Kyle’s hand droops from your mouth, sliding down to rest under your chin. Butterflies still flutter in your stomach as his warm breath fans across your skin. It feels so close and intimate now after weeks of separation and distance between everyone. You know they’ve taken your words to heart, rebuilding those bonds between them. You can feel it, the strings starting to strengthen, no longer fraying and clinging on by a hair. You’re not holding the weight of the world anymore, clinging to those rapidly fraying bonds in desperation. 

The load has been eased off of your shoulders, your alpha starting to carry some of that weight for you. 

Your alpha. 

It feels almost foreign calling him that again. He hasn’t felt like your alpha in so long the bond almost feels like it’s rebuilding itself from the ground up. A new bond, a changed one from the weak one that held the two of you together before. Your fingers lift to brush over your mark. It throbs, but not in pain this time. Your fingers brush Kyle’s hand where it’s tucked under your chin as you lower them from your mark. You wrap your fingers around his hand, pulling his arm so it’s wrapped around you instead. 

“Kyle?” You whisper, but you get nothing more than a snore in return. 

***

“You seem happier.” Dr. Keller says, sitting in the chair next to you. 

“I feel happier.” You say, a small smile tugging at your lips. “You were right, about having that conversation. It’s helped a lot.” 

“I knew it would. They were trying, they just needed a bit of direction.” She takes a sip of her tea. 

“Military men.” You roll your eyes. “Can’t do anything without being told what to do first.” 

“I think that’s just all men.” Dr. Keller says. 

You laugh, a genuine laugh. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t attracted to them.” 

“I don’t blame you.” She huffs out a laugh. “That is one small mercy I was granted in this life.” 

You smile softly. “I’m happy for you.” You glance at her. “You deserve it, after everything you’ve done for me, for us.” 

“Just doing my job.” She shrugs. 

“I think you’ve gone above and beyond your job lately.” You say. “Thank you, for getting me through this.” 

“Of course. I wasn’t going to leave you floundering.” 

“Some might have.” You say, and it’s the truth. A different omega specialist might have run as soon as things went south. Dr. Keller went halfway across the globe and back to help you in a vulnerable time. She’s put in more work in the last few weeks to try and keep you alive, to try and keep your pack in one piece than she should have ever had to. 

“Then they shouldn’t be omega specialists.” She says. “Lines can get blurry in this profession, but I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if it means even one omega can have a chance at a good life.” 

“Consider that a success, then.” You say with a small smile. 

“Good. I’m glad you feel that way.” She squeezes your hand. “You know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.” 

“I know. Maybe someday soon you’ll even be family.” You give her a knowing grin. 

“Well, I wouldn’t put too much stock in that right away.” She says, shifting in her seat. 

“You really like her.” 

“It’s hard not to.” She says. “The Garrick family might be the closest we have to angels on earth.” 

“They are just so...perfect.” You agree. 

“Some people just have it all, don’t they?” 

“Must be nice.” You muse. “I think we’re both pretty lucky though, snagging ourselves one of those angels.” 

Dr. Keller smiles at you. “I can hardly disagree.” 

It feels good to see them finally getting over themselves. Sitting closer, lingering touches, even holding hands. You did that. You forced them together to work out those barriers they put between themselves. The pack is healing because of you. 

It makes your omega preen in happiness. She’s finally settled, finally tucked back in her cage with the door shut tight. She’s content with the strong bonds beginning to reform. There’s no need for her now that the threat of danger has passed, now that your pack is beginning to come together again. That safety and security of the bonds has shoved her back into her place where she rests contently. 

Yet, despite that you still feel a bit on edge, still waiting for that shoe to drop. Sure things are getting better, but what about you? Where do you stand with all of them? It still feels like they're tiptoeing around you, like they don’t know where to start, where to jump back in. Where does that boundary lie now that things are beginning to improve? 

You’re not even quite so sure yourself. You can’t just jump back into where things were when they fell apart.  It doesn’t feel right. You’re not ready for that yet, but you can’t help the desires starting to burn in you again as those bonds repair themselves. You got far the first time, but yet no one is willing to take it that far right away. 

Not even you. 

You have to lay that barrier, mark down in the sand where that line is between where you were and where you are. How far would they push it if you left it up to them? They might never push it further with how they’re tiptoeing around you. You might get stuck in this realm of the unknown if you leave it up to them. But, how will they react if you do push it? Will they push back? Are they ready for things to move forward? Are they ready for the relationships to develop like that once more? 

A rock and a hard place. 

Maybe you should push it. Maybe you should be the one to test the boundaries this time. They’ve had their chance, and they’re not going to push it any further. You’re tired of this dance, so maybe you should take the plunge for them. 

Omegas always have to do the hard work. 

“Are you drawing me again?” 

The soft scratch of pencil on paper that has filled the quiet of the house pauses. 

“I cannae help it.” Johnny murmurs, shifting in his seat. “Yer the perfect model, kitten.” 

“Why, cause I can sit and dissociate for hours at a time?” You tease. 

“Cause yer so beautiful.” He counters. 

Your face warms at his words, not expecting such a comeback. You quickly tuck yourself further under the blanket, hiding part of your face bashfully. “Am not.” 

“Are too.” He argues playfully. “The most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on.” 

Woman, not omega. You half expected him to designate you to your status, but instead he’s surprised you once more. Your face warms at his words, yet you can’t help that tickle in the back of your mind. This is coming from somewhere.

You side-eye him, giving him a suspicious look. “What do you want?”

“What?” He asks in mock surprise. 

“You’re buttering me up for something.” You say, turning to face him. 

“I dinnae what ye mean.” He shrugs. “Can’t I just compliment my beautiful omega?” 

You give him a look. 

“I do mean it.” He says, setting his notebook on the table before joining you on the couch. He tugs you into his chest, making you nearly fall against him at the sudden movement. “Yer stunning, kitten.” 

“Alright, alright, fine.” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I get it.” 

You stare up at him, tracing his jawline with your eyes. “Now what is it you want?” 

“Nothing.” He says, holding his hands up. “Swear it.” 

You hum, lifting your head up so you can stare at him. He stares back with those bright blue eyes, soft with emotion as he studies your face. You feel like you’re staring at him for the first time again, studying his features. Your finger traces the scar on his chin, the short hairs of his stubble tickling your fingers. He’s shaved recently, trimming down the sides of his hair too. They’ve all cleaned up a bit, trimming scraggly beards and long hair. At least longer than you’ve ever seen. 

You take it as a sign of the improvement in your pack. You’re no longer drowning in the depths of fraying bonds. There’s life in the pack once more. You’re back in the pack once more. 

You continue to stare at Johnny, getting lost in those sea blue eyes. Your heart starts to beat faster, pounding away in your chest. You’re worried he might be able to hear it from how hard it’s beating. There’s a slight tremble to your fingers as you slide them from his chin up to his lips. 

You really want to kiss him. 

He presses a soft kiss to your fingertips, the soft touch lingering as your hand drops away. The air in the cottage is electric, the heat of the fire suddenly unnecessary as warmth blooms under your skin. 

Take the plunge. 

You can’t stop yourself as you start to move, leaning in closer to him. 

He doesn’t move, staying freakishly still as you lean closer and closer. You press your forehead against his, your eyes fluttering closed as you linger there for a moment. His lips have parted, his warm breath fanning against your own lips. They suddenly feel chapped, your tongue darting out to wet them. A soft sound leaves his lips at the action, a long, warm breath fanning across your face. 

You close the gap between the two of you, pressing a soft, hesitant kiss to his lips. It’s short and sweet, nothing more than a test of the waters. He doesn’t pull away, he doesn’t push you off of him. Instead his arm tightens around you, his other hand lifting to cup your cheek. You take it as a good sign, kissing him again. 

He holds you tightly against him as you kiss him harder this time. Your hand slides from his jaw to the side of his neck. You can feel his pulse thrumming beneath your fingers, beating almost as fast as yours. It’s a relief more than anything, to feel him as excited about this as you are. You doubt he’d be kissing you back if he wasn’t, but it’s still a nice sign that you haven’t pushed the boundaries too far. 

He hums contently against your lips, a smile tugging at his. 

“You’re going to be insufferable after this aren’t you?” You murmur as you pull back. 

“I’ll try not to be.” He murmurs back. 

“Something tells me I shouldn’t believe you.” You lean in for another soft kiss. 

He hums against your lips, unable to stop his grin. “First again.” 

“There we go.” You say, pulling back. 

“I promise.” He says, letting you go. 

“I still don’t believe you.” You say. 

“Probably shouldn’t.” He says, poking your nose softly. “Now go back tae the way ye were so I can finish my drawing.” 

You roll your eyes but acquiesce, adjusting your position on the couch once more. 

You know it’s coming before it happens. 

You could feel it, the shift in the air, the change in the atmosphere of the house. Something happened, something is going to happen. There’s something lingering on the precipice and it’s affecting the entire pack. They’re all on edge, all tiptoeing again. You hate it, but you can’t figure out what it is to fix it. It makes you almost feel sick with worry, your exhausted adrenal glands kicking back into high gear. You’re getting stressed and you don’t like it. 

You don’t know what it is, until you catch part of a conversation you weren’t supposed to hear. 

It’s midday and you’ve just woken from your daily nap. The sun is out for the first time in a week, though you know it’s still chilly outside. It’s shining in through the window, through the curtains you forgot to close. It’s a peaceful afternoon, or at least you thought it was. 

That’s when you hear the footsteps coming down the steps. Heavy, rushed thudding of boots. Two pairs of feet, you think, judging by the sound. Hushed voices murmur through the wall in a muffled conversation that has obviously begun upstairs. It sounds intense, something being debated or argued. 

Curiosity and that omega need to know what’s causing such a disagreement has you rising from your prone position. You kick the covers back quietly, slipping off of the mattress. You move slowly, tiptoeing across the floor until you reach the door. You’re quiet as you lean against it, pressing your ear to the wood. 

You don’t like what you’re hearing. 

It’s John and Simon, speaking hurriedly and angrily about something, something you don’t like the sounds of. You catch words here and there as they move across the living room towards the front door. A nervous twisting begins in your stomach as you stand there and listen to them, picking up a few words here and there from their conversation. Johnny and Kyle have left the house, and it’s likely they think you’re still sleeping, otherwise they wouldn’t be discussing this so out in the open. 

The conversation has stopped abruptly as the front door opens, boots storming out of the house before the door closes rather harshly. You stand there, holding your breath for a moment before footsteps turn, approaching your door. Your eyes widen as you push away from the wood, nearly leaping across the floor to dive onto the bed. You curl up in a ball, tugging the blanket over yourself seconds before the door opens. 

You have half a mind to feign sleep as footsteps approach the bed, but you know it will be useless. The stench of your nervous energy has permeated the room, the proof of your stressed state hanging heavily in the air. Emotions twist in your chest like the roiling of a stormy sea. He’d be able to tell in that way he always does, even if you could try to mask your scent. 

The side of the bed sinks as John sits down with a sigh. You lay there still for a moment before slowly rolling over onto your back. His shoulders are tense and tight, his hands closed into fists as he leans his elbows on his knees. It’s not hard to tell that the conversation ended on a negative note. Even if you hadn’t gotten up to listen in, you would have known by the slamming of the door and the tension in his body. 

He knows you listened in, but he doesn’t say anything as he sits there. Slowly you move, pushing yourself up to sit. You pull your knees into your chest, staring at the side of his face. He’s waiting for you to make the first move, to admit that you know what that argument between alphas was about. 

“You’re leaving.” Tears prick behind your eyes as you voice the summation of what you overheard from the conversation. Putting it into words has those roiling emotions stirring, rising in your chest until they threaten to choke you. 

He lets out another sigh, his gaze on the floor. “I have to do this.” 

So he really is leaving. The finality in his tone tells you there’s no convincing him otherwise. Those words tell you no matter how hard you fight, there’s no changing his mind. He’s going to do this no matter what. He’s going to leave no matter what you say, no matter how hard you try to stop him. He has to do this. He has to leave. Or, at least he thinks he does. 

Things were going so well. Things were finally starting to heal and now he’s threatening to undo them all once again. 

You can never have anything nice, can you?

“But you don’t.” You say, your voice wavering. Your heart is pounding in your chest, the threat of confrontation making your insides turn into a mushy soup. You have to try. You know it’s useless, but you have to try. At least you can tell yourself you did your best, you tried your hardest to convince him when he is gone. 

“I don’t have a choice.” He says, pushing himself upright. His eyes are hard and focused as he turns to stare at you. “I have to be sure.” 

“What about the rest of us? What about me?” You argue. “You can just up and leave when things are finally starting to heal and improve?”

“For this, yes.” He reaches for you but you flinch back. You’ll regret it later, but you don’t care about that right now. Right now, you’re too angry. 

“The job always comes first, right?” You say, staring at his hand where it lands on the bed. You sound broken and defeated. 

“This is more complex than that.” He shakes his head. 

“Is it?” You snap, holding his gaze. “Is it different? You said things would change.” 

“They will.” He tries to reassure you. “But this is something I have to do.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat, forcing down the words you want to scream at him. You want to hit him, shove him out of the room and lock the door. He promised you things would change, but then again, he’s broken promises before. He’s really willing to just up and leave in such a delicate time when bonds are being rebuilt within the pack. How little he thinks of you, of the rest of your pack. They won’t stop him either. He probably had to stop them from wanting to go too, to be there to assist him in this errand. 

Nothing has changed. It was all just empty promises from your pack. They can’t help what they are. They’ll never be able to stop doing what it is they were trained to do. Everything was a lie to placate you into healing, to stop you from severing the ties that hold you all together. 

You thought things were going to get better. 

How stupid you were. 

There’s a sour taste in your mouth as you sit there, staring hard at him. Of course he’d do this. Of course he’d break his promises. Of course he’d leave in a moment’s notice. You’re shocked he’s even told you. You’re shocked you got any warning at all. You wouldn’t put it past him to just up and leave, just like that without any warning. 

“You’re really leaving.” You whimper, your voice shaking with the emotions and the adrenaline pumping through your body. 

You don’t move your hand this time as he reaches for it, his fingers brushing over yours before curling around them. It should feel nice and grounding and reassuring, but instead it feels hollow and empty. You want to hate him, you want to get angry and scream at him, but you can’t. You can’t bring yourself to do that. Not after everything. You’re just so tired, so exhausted from fighting for this pack, for your place in it, for things to work. 

All that fighting and it was for nothing. 

“I have to.” He says, squeezing your hand. He stares down at your hands for a moment before looking back up at him. “Do you want me to come back?” 

You sit there staring at him, anger and resentment swirling inside of you like a violent storm. 

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[crybabybat]

Every stupid comment/rb like this is just proof that you didn’t take anything in btw. Tattoo removal is not easier than laser hair removal or other aspects of (re/de)transition. Breaking a bone or other injuries can require surgery, and can often have lasting effects throughout one’s life.

Developing a deeper voice or facial hair doesn’t need to be world ending if you realize it’s not what you want. Plenty of women already train their voices higher and shave regularly, cis and trans, intersex and perisex. Same with growth of breast tissue being possible in anyone, cis or trans.

The thing that you’re not fucking getting is that the world would benefit from not treating deviance from the ideal perisex, cissexual body as some horrific, grotesque, regretful thing. Pause to think and process for one moment, I’m begging. We do things to our bodies that are permanent ALL THE TIME. And the only thing that gets treated as an incredibly scary thing that needs endless caution and consideration is HRT.

Why do you think that is? Honestly, truly, why is it so easy to get a massive tattoo that may end up horribly infected, or not what you wanted, or just something you absolutely hate in 5 years, but the idea of a person using medication that has been thoroughly studied for safety and been around for longer than hip surgery, is so scary? Do your goddamn research. Talk to transsexuals and detransitioners. Believe me when I say nobody on earth needs to hear MORE about how it’s so scary and dangerous to be trans.

*also do not fucking get at me about detransitioners. I know them, I’m friends with them. A vast majority end up detransitioning because they realize that it’s harder to be trans than is worth it in their specific situation rather than feeling like it wasn’t right. And regardless, all the ones I’ve met benefit from the mindset of acceptance with circumstances and moving forward. There’s often regret, certainly, but in the same way that I hate some of my tattoos and yet accept their presence, there’s no point in letting it eat away at you or being angry. Be an adult about it.

I will never understand how cis people widely continue to see HRT as a huge decision that needs years of consideration and should only be used as a last resort for minors if they’re on the edge of suicide, and other things of this nature.

Like your body already has those hormones. It’s already doing that. It’s okay. They’re just hormones, you can play around and see what you like, what feels right. It’s literally fine. Changes to our bodies and voices and genitals and things are already an inherent part of being human.

It’s the weight that’s put on the decision to go on HRT that manufactures the major concerns of regret. If you decide it’s not for you and you’re upset because your body has been altered in a way that doesn’t feel good to you, that’s the same as getting a tattoo you don’t love, or breaking a bone, or being injured in some other way, or aging, or even getting a bad haircut. It is not automatically more horrific because it has to do with the perceived presentation of your gender. Hope this helps 👍🏼

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

maidenless board game club headcanons

Time to bully Azul and Idia :)) I often picture their club meetings being just them shit talking the other person and calling them rizzless…

Any and all mentions of the reader are meant to be gender neutral; gendered terms may still appear in these headcanons, but never in reference to the reader.

Curiouser and Curiouser...

Azul likes to think he’s suave and could bag “anyone he set his mind to.” Eh, why hasn’t he tried to woo anyone then? For him, he states it’s a matter of pride!! He would never be emotionally vulnerable to just anyone, you know. A-And besides, he’s focusing on his business and personal growth right now, he doesn’t have the time to toy with hearts! (Or so Azul insists.)

The reality is, he has never kissed anyone outside of his family. Just soft pecks on the cheeks in greeting, mainly to his mother and grandma. Azul would never admit this out loud though, he thinks it detracts from his “cool” persona.

The thing about Azul is that he overthinks EVERYTHING. He’ll sit there and map out every possible thing that could happen on a date and how he will prepare to handle them. This includes what to say and when he should smile when speaking… He’s charming, yes, and starts off with a strong first impression—but he also tends to come off as too rehearsed or humble bragging about his accomplishments.

Azul’s desperate for a S/O not because he wants one per se, but because he wants validation that he is, in fact, attractive and desirable. After all, he made such an effort to change himself and to come off as confident, intelligent, and capable. He would like to bask in the reassurance that his efforts were worth it, because now he can “have” whoever he wants.

Aaand therein lies another problem. Azul is still stuck in the mindset that relationships are transactional. You do a favor for him? Well, he has to match it. He gives you a gift? Then he expects one back. Yet Azul keeps himself to an emotional distance, too afraid to be completely honest about his flaws.

Idia thinks the issue is Azul’s personality. When Azul demands to know what exactly his clubmate means by that. Idia just sneers and goes off on a tirade. According to him, Azul-shi may look like he’s got everything put together, but since he’s actually a greedy scumbag, no amount of expensive cologne or nice clothes can cover up a rotten core.

Sometimes he and Idia just head back to the Mostro Lounge and pour one out (non-alcoholic drinks like fruit juice) to drown their sorrows. Jade and Floyd show great interest in these sessions, but Azul is cautious about letting any truly embarrassing experiences slip out.

The twins will occasionally dare him to snag a date with whichever random person walks through the doors to the Mostro Lounge next. Azul initially took these as personal challenges and did his utmost to win these dares, but after a string of embarrassing flops he now knows better than to be baited.

Idia is scared of 3D people and prefers to stick to his anime waifus and aidorus. REAL people could never compare! They’re too flawed and unpredictable—and, worst of all, they don’t come with dialogue options and affection meters to help Idia gauge what to do/say and when the Love Flags will trigger! What’s an introverted otaku to do?

He’s the type to openly disparage happy couples and love while secretly craving the warm touch of a flesh and blood person in the depths of his soul. His ideal is a kawaii gamer who’s into all the same things he is! … Unfortunately, he’s way too shy and unconfident to ever take a stab at it!! This is his way of coping.

He goes into the chats of his favorite streamers and tosses tons of money to get his comment read and to be noticed. Idia is the type to get super parasocial with the objects of his affection (he owns all the merch, goes to the events (virtually), has had a membership since day 1, etc.), even if he scoffs at the idea when directly confronted about it.

Literally bro spends his free time moderating Discord servers and Subreddits to complain about dating. Oh, but then the INSTANT he learns a user is single he starts treating them completely differently, calling them cute and his kitten or whatever. It’s amazing how much boldness he gains from behind the safety and comfort of a screen.

He doesn’t realize the value Ortho has as a wingman. Some people are super into the idea of doting on a younger sibling or dating a guy that loves his family—but Idia never brings these up as aspects of himself. Idia often vents about dating to his little bro and then tells Ortho he’s so lucky he doesn’t have to put up with stupid complex human emotions like love. Ortho just stares at him and begs his big bro to not get catfished.

He unfortunately drives people off with his sometimes pompous attitude. He’ll challenge others’ knowledge about his favorite media and get into extended arguments with them about the subjects he’s passionate about. Only “true” fan are allowed here! If you don’t get it, Idia will mansplain to you for hours at a time over VC.

Idia’s frequently the first to instigate (verbal) fights with Azul over their appeal in the dating scene. Offended, Azul usually fires back with some remark about how Idia hasn’t even witnessed him making eye contact with a REAL living, breathing woman. “Fictional women and a ghost bride do NOT count!”

You're nice to Idia ONCE (like, you let him borrow a pencil because he forgot his for an exam) and BOOM instantly this guy is lurking in the corners, giggling creepily ("Hihihihihi...") and shyly watching you from a distance. He's way too anxious to actually try and shoot his shot, but now he's fully convinced you're into him. (Idia lives out his fantasies with you in life sim games to cope with not having you irl 💀)

[urno1luv]

Loved the fanfic of Sub!Giselle! 💜

Can you make a part two author nim, but make it longer?? Pleasee??

But no pressure! Take your time and have a break author nim!! Love youu 💜🫶

i didn't expect so many ppl to see my work omg...🫣but ofc!! i think this might be the only sub idol thing i write bc it took so long to get out of that mindset myself😭😭hope u like this ♡

part 1 for anyone who missed it, but it's also a standalone so it doesn't matter which order u read it in <3

tags: this is actually a very cute fic if you ignore the sex, sub gigi, bratty gigi, sexually frustrated gigi, sex(🤩), pussy eating (both recieving), face sitting, gigi has pierced nipples, mommy kink, ass slapping (gigi recieving)

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Living with your girlfriend was a test of patience you were constantly failing. It wasn’t just that she was bratty—it was the artistry behind her annoyance. She made being difficult seem like a sport, and you were her unlucky opponent. Gigi loved you very much, but sometimes you couldn't help but think she did this to rile you up on purpose. The reason for this? You would find out soon enough <33

"Can you not breathe so loud?" she asked one morning, flipping through her phone at the breakfast table.

You paused mid-chew, glaring at her. "I’m eating cereal."

"And I’m eating in peace—or I was," she snapped, taking a delicate sip of her iced Americano, which she’d made you buy because "I just can't function without caffeine."

She left dishes in the sink like a declaration of war. “I’m giving you a chance to prove your cleaning skills,” she said with a smirk when you confronted her, her lacy bra strap slipping down her pale shoulder. It was almost like she did that just for your attention...

“Giselle, you’re literally standing next to the dishwasher.”

“Yeah, but my nails are wet,” she whined, holding up perfectly dry, manicured fingers. “You’re welcome for the visual.”

And don’t get started on her shopping habits. Packages arrived daily, piling up at the door like a shrine to her online shopping addiction. One time, she ordered a $200 sweater and wore it ONCE.

“Why didn’t you return it if you didn’t like it?” you asked, baffled.

“Because the hassle is too much. I dont have time for that. Im a busy woman,” she purred, draped across the couch, in an inviting manner.

If you so much as hinted at getting frustrated, she doubled down. “Aww, is living with me too much for you?” she teased one night, stealing the last slice of pizza you’d specifically saved for yourself. “Poor thing.”

But the worst was how she always needed the last word. Arguments with her were unwinnable, because no matter what, she’d throw out a smug, “You’re just mad that I’m fucking right,” and leave the room, huffing.

Some days you wondered why you hadn’t packed your bags yet. But then she’d do something annoyingly cute, like poke her head into your room at 3 a.m., blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

“I can’t sleep. Wanna watch something?”

You sighed, and begrudgingly made space for your girlfriend. God, she knew how to make you stop being mad at her so easily, and all she had to do was flash a smile in your direction.

She removed her blanket to reveal a silky lingerie set, in a colour matching her beautiful hair. She crawled over to sit on your lap, her sultry gaze meeting your surprised one. "Put a show on already," she whined, "accidentally" grinding on you.

You realised just then, as you grabbed the remote that Giselle was frustrated because you didn't fuck her for 2 days (a new record for your little slut). Oh, you didn't realise how much fun u were gonna have with her <33

An hour passed, and you forgot just how annoying your girlfriend was. Only 15 minutes were spent watching the movie, the other 45 spent arguing with Aeri over the smallest stuff. How you sat, how your room looked, how bad the movie you chose was, and you've just about had it with her.

Your hand snaked up her back, as she yapped, and tightened, before flipping her over so that she was face down into the mattress. A small yelp was heard, but you didn't care. This brat was gonna pay.

Youre both in the middle of the bed, and you dragged Aeri by her hair so that she rested her head on the pillow instead. She moaned at the sharp pain in her scalp, the sound so lewd and pornographic. "Baby, if you wanted to get fucked so bad, just fucking ask, okay? Don't piss me off, I'm not a patient person," you snarled at her.

Her pussy clenched at your tone of voice, back arching into you. Within minutes, you had her ass up and her hands tied behind her back, with one of your hands roughly gripping her hip, holding her down, the other pushing her head down into the pillow as you thrust the dark strap inside of her dripping cunt. You slapped her ass a few times, the flesh jiggling, her guttural moans escaping her mouth. The muffled cries and moans sounded like music to your ears, bringing you both closer to your edge, but you weren't gonna let Giselle off. No, not yet.

You removed the strap and threw it aside, and she groaned loudly at the action. "What the fuck are you- a-ah.." You slapped her before she could even complain, and told her that if she doesn't make you cum in the next 5 minutes, she's not gonna cum at all tonight. The threat of Aeri's pleasure being taken away had her scrambling, her lips connecting to you clit, and the moans you were letting out had her encouraged.

"F- fuck... that's a good g-girl..." You gasped, pushing Gigi's head into your pussy. Hearing your praises got her dripping again, and she sighed into your cunt, the action bringing you closer and closer to your climax.

Your orgasm hit you like a freight train, and you screamed out loud, thighs closing like an oyster around your beloved pearl, Aeri, who whined as she tasted your sweet essence, pleased to have made her girl happy. "My turn, please, mommy? I've been s'good to you..." You obliged, already losing your anger.

"Come here, Gigi," you softly murmured, and she obeyed, eagerly pushing you down, her pussy hovering above your face. You wrapped your hands around her plush thighs, pulling her so that her full body weight rested on your face. She immediately started grinding, and you plunged your tongue into her, swirling inside of her warm, pussy.

While sucking on her clit, your reached up to twist her pierced nipples, and Giselle threw back her head, squealing, reaching her high withing seconds, squirting all over your face. "M-mommy.... h-hah..." Aeri's body twitched, and she slumped beside you, completely fucked out.

Shakily, you got up and started to run water in the bath, before coming back to nuzzle into her neck. Giselle reciprocated, her arms wrapping around you, holding you closer.

Although she could be too much, you wouldn't trade her for the world.

[qussymagnet]

THANK YOU!! You are NOT going to cause any kind of damage to your dick/clit/whatever from using a vibrator a lot or jacking it often.

Sex toys are designed to be used at length safely. Unless you're buying some sketchy item from Amazon, you're probably gonna be fine. And even then, the greatest risk to you is probably that the materials the toy is made of are dangerous and that it might catch on fire if the electronics are cheap lol. You could in theory for example give yourself a blister or something, but that's super unlikely to happen anyway unless you're really going hard. And in that case you'd know because it would fucking hurt. If something you're doing is hurting (in a way that you don't intend ;) lol) just back the hell off for a couple days and you'll be good. But again, this type of thing is only going to happen if you're really going hard for hours on end and not listening to your body. It's much more likely that you're going to injure your hand or your wrist.

There is no evidence linking heavy vibrator use with decreased sensation. For those that experience a numbing sensation, here's what Healthline has to say:

Clinical sexologist Megan Stubbs, Ed.D, compares temporary numbness after vibrator use to the numbness your arm might experience after cutting grass or holding a Theragun. “It doesn’t last forever. With any kind of intense stimulation, your body just needs some time to reset and recover,” she says. Same goes for sex. Great news for vibrator lovers.

In fact, evidence shows that regularly jerking off is really good for sensitivity:

studies have shown that regular sexual activity, including the use of sex toys, can actually increase sensitivity over time. ... Sex toys improve blood circulation to the clitoris: The clitoris becomes extremely sensitive when there’s increased blood flow to the genitals. If you don’t stimulate the clitoris regularly through penetration, oral sex, fingering, masturbation, or sex toys, blood flow to the area can diminish, leading to a lack of sensitivity. Sex toys can gradually improve blood circulation to the genitals, helping you achieve better orgasms.

So if you really care about keeping things working great, you probably should go spend some time with your vibrator right now! lol

If you feel like you got kinda numbed out from being extra enthusiastic (not a crime lmao), just stop using the vibe for a while and your body will get back to whatever your baseline was prior, I swear. Or just use it on a lower setting and give your body some time to adjust to that again.

But yeah this mindset annoys me because not only is it shaming people, but it's just not factual whatsoever. People also have natural sensitivity differences and enjoy different things! And if you do feel a temporary loss of sensation, that does not mean something is damaged! It just means your body acclimated to you blasting it on high. Like, just use the toy on low or medium for a couple days and you're good.

"But - "

You're good.

And if you're asking me how I know this?

By straight up jorking it.

and by 'it', haha, well. let's just say.

My peanits.

this shit is soooooo infuriating to me like some people have trouble climaxing through NO fault of their own—maybe it’s a natural variation of their bodies maybe it’s medication side effects maybe it’s trauma—it’s actually really common and it’s something that makes a lot of people feel really ashamed and miserable… you haven’t “masturbated yourself into dysfunction” in fact masturbation often helps you get better at figuring out what makes you climax like !!!!!!! and even if you HAVE been hitting the vibe too hard recently you can always cool off for a week or two until you get in the mood again. your clit isn’t ruined forever. christ. this chewed-gum approach to sex simply does not have a basis in fact. pleasure is not a scarce resource

[orieriee]

How Dabi Falls in Love ˖⁺˚♡˚₊

author's note: Man, is he attractive! If he had become Dabi the Hero instead of Dabi the Villain, I can only imagine how different things would be. I almost bawled my eyes out when I saw the panel of Touya. It got me thinking about what he would be like if his dream had been supported by Endeavor.

Warnings: grammar errors (?), bad pun, it's fluff!

I also made one for Hawks!

masterlist

ProHero! Dabi would only focus on becoming the top hero, surpassing his dad and surpassing All Might.

So he wouldn’t have time to think about love and dating, although I feel like he would feed his fangirls with flirts and winks whenever they came near him.

He'll have this sort of cheeky, flirty attitude, fluent in sarcasm, lowkey looks tired, basically like the villain!Dabi but is actually passionate about being a hero.

Essentially, he's a big tsundere who hides his real feelings behind playful, flirty banter with you, and neither of you ever takes it seriously.

When hero!Dabi falls in love, the genre would be slow burn.... continue

But when Dabi falls in love, unlike Hawks here, he's not going to approach it with a logical mindset but rather he would refuse to admit his feelings, choosing to shove them into the furthest corner of his mind.

He never wants this flirty banter to end, and and he knows he only does it with you. He feels most comfortable around you.

Other fans have been making ship posts about you two since his fanbase is massive, considering how charming he is (and he's the son of Endeavor, duh!).

And he knows he doesn’t dislike it. In fact, he has even created a fake fan account to stalk the ship edits made by fans, quietly giggling before going to bed.

Yes. He's falling in love. Or maybe he already has.

But he’ll never admit it in front of anyone; he’ll only show it through subtle actions when it’s just the two of you

Because of his childhood, he's actually scared of being and committing to a relationship. Poor baby was traumatized.

The reason why he wouldn't admit or pursue a relationship with you because he's afraid of hurting you, afraid of being like his father.

He can also get jealous and possessive.

So when Hawks come up to talk to you, he'll feel jealous for no reason even though you two aren't in a relationship.

You do notice his softening gaze when you talk, the way his tone will be much gentle when he's talking to you. Although he probably tease you a lot too.

It's that oogly googly glazed eyes, the softening and lingering eyes when you're talking with him, like he's tattooing your lovely face into his mind.

But there’s one moment, just the two of you, when he knows he can’t hold it in anymore. You’re just talking, and it’s so nice hanging out with you that he accidentally blurts out that you’re beautiful, completely out of the blue, with those googly blue eyes of his.

It took him a while to process, thinking it was just the usual playful flirt banter. But when he saw you all flustered, it stirs something deep within him.

He quickly apologizes, the tension suddenly shifts with just the two of you there. He's like a nervous middle school boy confessing to his crush for the first time.

You confess to him, telling him that despite having a burning quirk, it doesn't have to be this slowburn (that was kinda a lame pun gosh I'm so sorry)

In fact, Shoto, his brother, has actually told you that Touya definitely has real feelings for you, although he probably won't act truthfully on them.

And oh how all the worry in him evaporates right away—the thoughts of not being good enough for you, that he might end up hurting you, that you might not actually like him that way.

Although I feel like he still has to work on healing his trauma, he eventually wants a relationship with you. He dreams of getting engaged, going on a honeymoon trip, and have ki—

Yeah, he's already thinking that far actually. He just never shows it that he's madly in love.

And so that's how you ended up being a Todoroki in the end.

fin.

ARGHHH this was an old draft I wrote after I read the manga and saw that panel of Touya with his dad 😭 I hope this isn't too bad or too out of character :/ I apologize in advance if there was any mistakes or if it's cringey 💔 thanks for reading, have a lovely day! 💗

-orie

© posted on 10/1/25

© written and published by orieriee | do not copy or repost in any other platform!

[katiekatdragon27]

We(me) want more shrimpo x glisten 🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥

Sorry for starving y'all, here are some shinyshrimp (mostly shrimpo) in their pre-parent parent era.

I am so tired chat, so I had to draw them sleeping for like the third time. Canon event.

Lots of doodles below cut:

Earlier I had an idea about Shimmer coming from an egg. It keeps the whole "not having a skeleton" aspect for her while also allowing for cute fluff moments (and parental denial).

They had very different reactions to the whole "being dads" thing.

Shrimpo: This thing is gross; we need to get rid of it- Glisten: What- NO!? We are not "getting rid of it" Shrimpo!! There could be a LIVING BEING in there! We're keeping it. (I've always wanted to be a father, anyways) Shrimpo: UGH FINE!! But I want NOTHING to do with it! I'd HATE being a dad! Glisten: Ok.

Not even a few days later:

Glisten: Hello, my darling Shrimpo~ I'd like to see the baby- Shrimpo: HIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS Glisten: RIGHT UNDERSTOOD! Let me get you some tea with those chocolates-

Wow, for once Glisten isn't the one getting the princess treatment, how crazy is that!?

Glisten, despite his beef with Toodles, does genuinely want a kid. He has fatherly instincts and kinda wants to utilize them lol. Especially a girl. He would really like a girl.

Shrimpo has no fatherly instincts whatsoever. He talks to babies the way he talks to adults minus the swears. He was not that kind when it came to kids when Gardenview was in session, but it just took his own to violently rip out those instincts and show them to the world.

As the days passed, Shrimpo develops a parental mindset but like the overprotective kind. In the wild, actual shrimps carry their kids around under their tails, and that felt protective so *cutely projects that on Shrimpo*. Also the idea of the mean guy being the most nurturing parent is something I fw.

But as a result, Shimpo does not let anyone near the egg... including his husband. Although this peeves Glisten quite a bit, he puts up with it and stays nurturing in other ways, like bringing stuff to Shrimpo to keep the peace lol.

And to show more of the prehensile tail, here is Shrimpo carrying Shimmer.

They're probably going out to hang out at the park or something idk. Toodles is vibing with her sibling and kind of father-figure-not-really-but-whatever. Also, although Shrimpo could carry Shimmer in his arms, it's more comfortable on his tail to carry a person more than a heavy object (and Shimmer enjoys this better too).

Enjoy the goofy family doodles and have a good one gang!!

[thatbitchery]

MANIFESTING 102; IF YOU JUST ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT A LITTLE

Today I feel like playing teacher (Avoiding my responsibilities) so lets do this. I alr talked about manifesting and the masculine X feminine and today I want you to see its actually really simple if you just think for yourself instead of mindlessly consuming content and acting like you're stupid or something. like, debunking some myths that you could easily debunk yourself if you just actually thought about this stuff a little :). But I have to do everything in this house I guess

Here is the theory we are running on- You are the universe in a human body in the universe. We all know the Big Bang and how the Universe decided to split itself to create a mirror to define itself bla bla bla you've been in LOA spaces for long enough I'm not re-explaining this. Basically- You are the universe that chose to experience life in YOUR human body. It's a mirror we know this bla bla moving on.

one- The universe does not respond to who you are it responds to what you want. Wanting is not 'lack mindset' its human nature. You are the universe that chose to experience human life, so you are also bound by human nature do you see how that works? Human beings are pretty much the only animals with desire the rest just survive. we want so we make and now we have the Burj Khalifa and Tesla Robots. And that's what the universe respond to- desire. It's like your dad. You say dad this is what I want he says Okay. You don't act like you already have it and then he gives it to you. Matter of fact he won't bc you already have it. It responds to what you WANT not what you ARE. wanting is not 'lack mindset' it's human nature. Again, y'all are committed to demonizing and hating yourself its kinda funny to watch. In a bad way. Don't act like you have it. Act like you want it because you do???? Closed mouths don't get fed? No idc what the vibration people said. Again stop mindlessly consuming content think about it. You're not dumb.

Two- Visualization as in vision boards- yay. Do that stuff. I love that stuff. Visualization as in closing your eyes and experiencing it- PLEASE STAWPPP that sheeet. Listen if you could visualize things into existence maladaptive daydreamers and three quarters of the people in psych wards would run this planet have you thought of that? Because you are not visualizing harder than someone with literal hallucinations. Thats peak visualization that's peak be in the moment feel the feelings 3D doesn't matter if you have it in the 6788D bla bla. And the most annoying part of the visualization people is that ITS RIGHT THERE> Feeling in the moment. Experiencing it. The brain doesn't know the difference between real and imagination. Excellent you are on to something there. Now let's rev back up to the REASON we exist. TO EXPERIENCE life. Why tf would a universe obsessed with new experiences let you experience the same thing twice. And you're right there is no difference if you imagined it or it happened. So you have already experienced that. Moving on to the next chapter closed. No think about it, have you EVER experienced the same thing twice exactly the same way????EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR????? Just think about it.

Three : the 3d doesnt matter what matters is in this astral plane 6788789 light years away in the 688790d you have all your desires- shut up no you don't. The 3D is all you got. This reality is all you will get as long as you are in this body at this moment in this time space reality. I don't usually condemn escapism that hard life sucks so yeah go watch a movie and distract yourself for a while but this is called mental illness and nope slapping cute universy words on it doesn't make it go away. YOUARE SUPPOSED TO EXPERIENCE THE 3D that's why you're here. Just say you hate yourself and show up to a psych ward. There is no secret universe out there this is the one. IF the 3d didn't matter why are you in it. Just think. The 3D IS all that matters actually. This is the most powerful plane you know this. This is the ONLY ONE where you get free will. This is the only one where YOUR DESIRES MATTER. In those other planes you wanna be on so much, you don't even exist as an individual.

Four: The rules of reality don't matter- no ma they do. And you are bound by them. And no you are not special. NO you can't pull a mermaid with wings and fangs from thin air because in this reality that can not happen. You are supposed to EXPERIENCE this reality. You are bound by the laws of time and space and human nature and your country btw and you can't manifest your way out of this. You are GOD as in you have stake in creation not you are God as in you're superior. And honestly, do you even want that? Do you really want to live in a universe with no binding laws? Do you really want people to be able to pull whatever they want from thin air? Have you ever left your bedroom ever? Have you ever seen the light of day, is what I'm asking. You came to live as a human being in THIS time space reality if you don't like it maybe don't choose to come back. And no you can't change the color of your eyes and height and waist size by imagining- ma. You're delusional. You are supposed to experience your life in that body. If you don't like it try plastic surgery. None of us think you have blue eyes just because you tell yourself you do, We will put you in a ward.

Five: You can not 'manifest' a specific animal, especially human. People have free will. Dogs have free will. Animals have free will and if they don't want you it doesn't matter how many time you write I AM MARRIED TO HYUNJIN in red and burn sage and annotate with grobovoi numbers if he doesn't want you back it's not happening. You didn't manifest your ex back he tried with other girls got tired, remembered your desperate easy ass exits and came back for more and he WILL do you worse mark my words. If you are being honest with yourself you like the LOA and manifesting and I and I AM GOD because it makes you feel superior, but then we all are GOD. Unfortunately, no you are not. No you can not force your will over another's and now THAT is lack mindset and honestly so embarrassing me personally I would rather eat glass that chase that hard. And again, do you want to live in a universe where if someone wants you they can just- manifest you? Or do you just want to be the only one with that privilege you selfish prick? If yes, have you ever touched grass?

[stoned-frog]

First of all thank you so much for that long response

second, there was no secret AND YOU TOOK MY SOUL ANYWAY! GIVE IT BACK!

oh yea doing fully colored pieces or colored COMICS is such a pain.. I either only use one color or accent some stuff for comics, I also started using a soft so my perfectionism can calm the fuck down and not pay attention to detail, I learned my lesson (burnout leading to me not drawing anything for like a full month or something, and drawing is literally all I do)

kinda like this

but honestly the sketch sketches seem like a good idea to try just quickly get my thoughts out, I always try to make my sketches presentable and it takes such a long time sometimes

That comic on the right has been rotting in my folder for literal months because I don't think it's good enough to show anyone, I guess I'm just worried that because I'm a very small blog no one will pay attention to raw sketches

I try to come out of my "you have to do this" mindset because turns out that the only thing that didn't stress me out like crazy NOW STARTED MAKING ME STRESSED I think I just try too hard to be good enough for myself and I just never am, thank you so much for sharing your struggles with motivation it actually made me feel better that a person I look up to has similar troubles

also another question since you're more experienced in this, do you think as a small blog that posts.... questionable stuff sometimes..... is it better to post a lot of wips and sketches or just wait until it's finished to draw more people to the prettier finished "product" not to trash the blog with unfinished stuff?

it might be an awkward question but-

HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO DRAW SO MUCH?? how do you get so many beautiful ideas? how do you keep yourself motivated? tell me your secret I will sell you my soul

🩵 🫴 take it.

Why thank you 🫳🩵

Ah the question ever

Truthful and simple answer is that there’s no secret

This might seem contradictory considering how much I post, but I genuinely am not as motivated or as inspired as I seem to be

I struggle a lot with ideas and motivation and that is a problem I have on a daily basis that’s been happening for years (I have SO many wips that I never shared)

It’s not about the struggle, it’s about how I curated my art to that struggle

I’m at a constant threat to experience burnout (certified chronic pain and chronic fatigue haver), so to combat that, I take measures to make sure I don’t burn myself out and actually reserve the very little energy I have to continue doing artworks/comics

To give you a specific example, if you notice with my comics, they’re always sketchy and are never colored, that’s not because I don’t want to make colored comics, but because of knowledge from previous experiences that if I actually forced myself to make colored comics, I’d immediately plunge to burnout and would probably not be able to draw for a few weeks after because of it (in fact the last time I made a colored comic was here, which is a rare occasion even then btw, and that comic caused me to experience a near burnout)

Which was extremely frustrating to me at some point might I add, because before 2021, I had no problem making so many colored comics and artworks at a short span of time, I actually had motivation before (something that is lost to me now), so you can imagine how genuinely frustrating it is, it even made me feel like I’m not a “real” artist

(The concept of what is considered a “real artist” is bullshit btw, someone who draws stickmen everyday is as much of a real artist as someone who makes diverse fully colored artworks with backgrounds and everything, as long as you use your creativity and turn it to something meaningful, you’re already a real artist, regardless of skill or the extent of which you are able to conceive with your art)

That being said, it’s all about finding your own footing and workflow, what works best for you? What doesn’t?

Some things that you’d love for them to work (in my case making colored comics) might not work in reality, life is disappointing like that, so it’s also about acceptance

Acceptance of yourself as you are, maybe it’s not what you truly strive for, maybe you wish you could do more, but sometimes taking a step back and looking into yourself to see if you can actually achieve what you want with the resources you have could be life saving

So when it comes to motivation? Find your workflow, what are the things that you know could make you lose your motivation? On the other hand, what are the things that preserve your motivation?

Not only that, but time management is also a contributing factor

Of course, my own way to preserve my motivation/energy is as follows:

1- never force myself to finish artworks/comics if I feel like I can’t (even if I really really want to), I save them up for later when my motivation for them kicks back in

2-let perfectionism go, if I keep fretting over whether every line in an artwork looks good I’ll never accomplish anything but destroy my mental health (certified perfectionist speaking btw)

3-comics stay as sketches, as much as I want to make beautifully colored comics, I know this will only contribute to my burnout, so keeping it real with myself and what I can accomplish with my own resources (energy, time, health, etc) is important

4-making multiple sketches in a day then choosing what fancies my brain that day, or getting back to older sketches I already made before (sometimes months before) to see if my brain has the itch to work on any of them, by doing that, then I’m giving myself actual diversity in choices to choose from, which helps me feel like I don’t have to be forced to work on anything new, or something that I don’t wanna work on

For clarification, I’m talking actual sketches, not cleaned up ones, if you make clean sketches you won’t be able to make multiple ones in the same day

Here’s an example of what I mean by sketches

5-stop beating myself up over things I can’t control, if I keep being harsh on myself over the fact I couldn’t finish an artwork or the fact I’m not satisfied with it, it’ll only contribute to make me feel bad about myself and that would only contribute to me losing even more motivation which contributes to beating myself up and so the self torture cycle goes on, myself deserves to be pat on the back gently and be told “it’s ok, you’ll get there in time”

6-teach myself that it’s ok to lose motivation, there are times in which I do not open my art app for weeks, instead of hating myself for it, I tell myself “you need time, you’re tired and you need the break”, and it’s true, if you lost motivation, it’s most likely due to something else contributing to it

So i just ask myself what’s up, sometimes, I’m overworked in other life aspects, other times I’m in too much pain, so instead of forcing myself through my demotivation, I take care of these factors demotivating me so I’d feel comfortable enough to be able to work on artworks again

If I couldn’t identify a factor contributing to my loss of motivation, then I take it as my own brain telling me that it needs the break, it needs the dopamine if doing something different and I do that, whether by watching my favorite shows, playing my favorite games, trying a different hobby like writing or reading, etc

7- work on my own time, sometimes I do finish artworks quickly, and I do have the capacity to do so, but I’ve noticed that my loss of motivation became less of an issue when I gave myself the actual time to work on artworks, sometimes, a simple artwork that I could finish in 20 minutes takes me weeks to finish, not because I can’t finish it earlier, but because I intentionally worked slowly on it as I’m working on other artworks just as slow, that way, I don’t overwhelm myself and I’m making progress on multiple artworks/comics at the same time, and seeing such progress gives me even more motivation

Cough, anyway, got lost in talking about motivation ghcchch

As for your other question about how I get my ideas, it’s usually something I saw that inspired me, whether an artwork, something irl, etc

Or even sometimes, my own artworks inspire ideas for comics, so I’d draw something, then ask myself (asking yourself questions is such a great helper when it comes to coming up with ideas) why is the character doing this? How did they get there? Etc

That helps me come up with answers which are then answered via comics or multiple different artworks

For example, this comic, what inspired it was me asking myself one simple question, “what would happen if Murder actually asked Nightmare for a visit home for once, instead of running away like he always does?”, and that immediately got me to work on the comic

Of course, it doesn’t mean I always am on the ready for an idea, in fact, a lot of the time my mind is blank, nothing up there to help me, which is why I turn to mindlessly sketching sometimes

I just open a canvas and start sketching, what? I don’t know, I’m just gonna sketch something, could be a character, environment, scribbles, meaningless lines etc, it’s my iwn version of a warm up, and it helps a lot with making my brain get into the zone

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head

Enjoy a look into my brain chhcchch

[moonbeamastrology]

General Messages

Hi!!! Hope everyone is doing well, I have just a simple general message pac reading for you guys today. As always, only take what resonates and leave the rest behind. This is a general reading, not a personal read so not everything may apply. Take a few deep breaths, center your energy and choose the cloud picture that calls out to you. All of my readings are timeless so whenever you see them is when you are meant to. This is for entertainment purposes only, thank you. 

(p.s. Aren’t these pictures awesome?! I didn’t even like do anything to edit them <3 clouds are so beautiful <3)

Group 1

Hello group 1, welcome to your reading! “Still waters run deep.” is the first thing I got from the cards that came out. Things may not be how you want them to be right now but there's more going on than you can see. Or you're going through a tough emotional cycle right now. I'm getting those lakes that look like they're very shallow but it's just a perspective and the lake is actually extremely deep. perspective is really important right now. Even if a situation sucks and feels awful, what can you gain from it? In what ways is this situation working for you, not against you. If switching your mindset like that is new to you, be gentle with yourself please. If you've been hard on yourself lately, please chill. you are literally doing the absolute best that you can right now. I'm getting this Vibe of feeling like inner peace/ serenity are things you have to work for? This is a limiting belief. Peace and serenity are always available and every moment. It's not something you tried to achieve but rather something you would surrender to. It's like trying to get a stubborn donkey to move but the more you push the harder he takes his feet in and pushes back ( resistance begets resistance). When you stop trying to force things or force yourself to be at peace, happy, productive, whatever it is, that's when it comes in, ironically. There's a lot of wisdom and healing to be gained in this period of your life but you have to open yourself up to it. Connect with your guides. They are heavily around you and want to assist you but can't if you aren't open to it. Signs, messages, synchronicities are all around you at this time. You are safe, protected, and guided.  Angelic healing is coming in for you and immense blessings are on the way. Some of you are looking for a soul tribe, this is confirmation that it is coming in. There is support all around you. Even if you don't see it you are supported in the spiritual realms. Solitude is good to reconnect with yourself but too much can make connecting with those you love more challenging. During this challenging time in your life, reach out to your trusted friends and ask for help. If you think you always have to do it alone, you will (because your belief manifests). Your spirit guides, ancestors, angels, Etc love you so so much, open yourself up to receiving their support, they want to help you. I'm feeling some resistance to their support? If you're feeling resistant to spiritual assistance it's possibly because you are losing faith/trust in your spiritual team. Doubt is a normal part of any path, follow what feels right to your soul. If this is not the case then this is something you need to ask yourself and sit with. There are people in your life that are rooting for you and want you to succeed. Always. I'm one of them ;). I'm hearing that remix song thing “all we need is somebody to lean on” lol.  Right now it is important to find ways to lighten your energy. Slow down and appreciate your sensory experience. Light candles or incense, play soft pleasing music, take a comforting hot shower or bath, eat a delicious meal. anchoring your energy to the present moment and experiencing the richness of your senses. Pamper your senses. Your energy is being replenished. Your guides really really want to communicate with you. I felt like I could go on and on with these messages. I had to force myself to stop, it's gotten too long lol. So that’s where I’ll leave you guys off today. I hope this message brought you some insight and it serves you well <3 until next time, my love.

Sacred Destiny Oracle: Wisdom, Community, Pleasure, Blessings

Tarot: The Chariot R, Temperance R, 3 of cups, queen of wands

Group 2

Hey group 2, I got two songs for you guys to check out: “Magnetize” by Maijah and “Return 2 Sender” by Moonlight Scorpio and Maijah (I specifically kept hearing “I only fuck with the good vibes” from the second song). You could be seeing 555 a lot recently as well. Some of you are needing to spend some time cloud gazing, which is funny with the pictures for the groups, you are the only group that cloud gazing came out with though lol. I'm getting kind of two vibes, some of you there's a lot of change happening in your life right now but you feel stable and secure during it. Others are trying to bring about some sort of change. I feel like you have done a lot of work to get to this point (internal or external). There are heavy themes of choosing your own path, of choosing what YOU want.  following your intuition and trusting Spirit along the way. tapping into and incorporating limitlessness into your self belief. You are only as limited as you believe yourself to be. You are reaching new heights/depth of spiritual development. You're working through the illusion of control (you can control yourself and your actions but not other people/situations). Releasing yourself from the expectations others have placed on you (people pleasing?). Funnily enough, I'm hearing the grad speech from Twilight eclipse lol “ change your mind, and change it again” so that might be worth listening to lol. Right now the only consistency you need is a dedication to yourself, your path, and your intuition. you can do anything you set your mind to with your belief. Two cards in the deck use the exact phrase “let your spirit fly.”  break free from the chains that bind you (you know the ones). Your life is about to change dramatically (for the better). Your connection with spirit is very strong at this time. Reaching greater spiritual awareness. Freedom, freedom, freedom essentially lol. I'm seeing you freeing yourself allowing yourself to fully relax and let go which then allows a download to come in which makes it easier/anchors you into the present moment and finding joy where you're at right now which then creates this massive change. Changing the internal and it reflecting externally. I feel like a part of this freeing yourself also means giving yourself time to rest, relax, and play. You have big dreams and goals and that is so beautiful and adorable so you have to have big rest too! You have come such a long way from where you started. I saw a post the other day which read ”you don't notice your progress because you keep raising your bar”. That feels poignant to your situation right now. The time is now to create and live your dreams so cast away any limiting beliefs that don't empower and align you to the life you want to be living. stay present in the moment and grateful for what you have while you move toward this. (sidenote: I was hearing so much stuff so maybe your getting an upgrade with a psychic gift?) That’s the message that came out or you group 2, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read it <3 lov u.

Sacred Destiny Oracle: Freedom, Relaxation, Enlightenment, Pleasure, Change

Group 3

Hi group 3! Right now it looks like knowing when to be flexible with others and when to stand your ground is a deep lesson you are going and growing through at this time. Right now you are being called to go with them and find some solitude (not isolation btw, just carve out some time for yourself everyday). Right now it feels like you are really concerned or possibly even worried about finding your own path in life. Find ways to release worry and anxiety and tap into your soul's truth. You're very concerned with and focused on finding truth or finding your truth. Growing in your skill of discernment. Meditation and reflection will benefit you greatly at this time. Disconnect from expectations other people have for you and follow your instincts. if there is a relationship that prevents you from being yourself or that disempowers you, release them. It is only holding you back. Meditate and journal consistently, meditation is like building muscle, for the best results you must stay committed to it. Take some time to reassess and reflect on your life let go of what no longer serves your highest good. You are about to experience lots of change and spiritual growth so it will be important to be able to tap into your inner voice and connect with what we want out of life. If you have a detailed plan of action, that's great just leave a little more room for Spirit to work their magic and Surprise you. Others of you need to start putting a plan together to give a little bit more structure, but allowing some flexibility at the same time. Some of you have a highly logical mind, which can be both a blessing and occurs. Right now allow yourself to float a little bit and dream, I'm not saying throw away all rationality and practicality but soften and open yourself up to things working out for you in unexpected and magical ways. You are entering into an abundant and prosperous season in your life. I'm low-key getting the vibe that some of you already know all of this and didn't really need the reading. Which makes sense because the message is all about finding, following, and trusting your own inner guidance. but I love you anyway! Thank` you for spending your time with me and trusting me with your reading! <3 

Sacred Destiny Oracle: Flexibility, Solitude, Trust

Tarot: 2 of wands, king of swords, The Hanged Man

[jemgirl86]

I’m sorry, I’m sorry y’all, not to harp, but you mean to tell me that one of the main reasons you “don’t like Sam as Captain America” is because he joined the military during “peace time,” but you do like Captain James Rhodes aka WAR MACHINE????

Man, get the fuck outta here lmaooo

Okay, well, if there’s anyone who actually believes that, then boy do I have some magic beans to sell you 😭😭😭

Like let’s be serious for five seconds. Ain’t no way that’s the reason someone dislikes MCU Sam Wilson, but they still like James “congratulations, Cap, you’re a criminal” Rhodes. Idgaf how many ways you try to qualify it, it still just looks like you mentioned another Black character as a smokescreen 🤷🏾‍♀️

As for the other “points” -

“Steve had that Fuck it all aura that I liked in Captain America as a hero. He didn’t follow the rules or commands”

“Sam is a soldier he has a mindset to follow rules. Can he break them? Yes. But not like Steve.”

Are you for real? The first time we meet MCU Sam is in a movie where he ends up breaking the rules to help two fugitives he just met, simply because it’s for the greater good and is the right thing to do!

Smh it never ceases to amaze me that “Steve fans”truly just did not watch CA: TWS, and especially didn’t watch Captain America: Civil War. Oh, I’m sure they’ve seen them, but there’s no way they actually watched and absorbed what was happening on their screens. Baby, Sam was the first person to vocalize their disagreement with The Accords. Steve followed his lead in “breaking the rules” by not signing, and Steve continued to follow his lead and heed his advice for the rest of the movie. Shoot, maybe Steve can’t break rules like Sam…

Now, if you wanted to have a conversation about why Sam can’t break rules “like Steve” because Sam is a Black man living in an inherently antiBlack society, I’d be all ears, because it’s true, but that’s not what you’re saying. No, what you’re saying is complete bullshit. And, while that’s your prerogative, it’s my prerogative to question why in the hell anyone would ever put something so anti Sam Wilson in his own tag.

[nightcolorz]

Ryan, Armand is an ancient vampire. He's the strongest vampire in the show so far. He put the whole coven to sleep with a flick of his wrist. The show EXPLICITLY framed Armand as the one who orchestrated the trial. I didn't know you were delusional holy shit.

oh my god, don’t address me by my name, I don’t know u, u absolute freak 💀. If I can’t see ur profile picture u can’t call me by my government name, general rule. If u wanna be intimate with me like that get off anon, jeez Louise. I was so caught off guard by that I couldn’t even register the rest of ur point.

anyways I’ve talked about this b4 actually! It’s extremely unclear so far in the show verse how much of a role Armand had in the trial. The only thing we know is that he let it happen, he didn’t save Louis on purpose/was planning to let him die, but he stayed in a cage, even tho he wasn’t a prisoner, per his choice. We also know, based on the timeline, that Armand was banished from the coven, and eventually decided to help with the trial, bcus he wanted to be accepted back into it. He wasn’t a mastermind from the beginning always planning to have the trial happened, that so far is not the story, but he did take control at some point. He definitely consented to it/allowed it to happen. He absolutely could have stopped it if he wanted to, that’s inarguable.

When I said in the post I assume u are addressing that Armand participated in the trial as a logistic, fawn response move bcus he felt it was the safest option since he was threatened, I said that bcus he says that in the show, multiple times. He could be lying, he could just be a completely evil villain who does everything cuz he’s crazy and doesn’t give a shit and actually doesn’t act at all from a place of perceived logic and self preservation. Maybe ur right and they are writing Armand as a one dimensional evil mastermind who doesn’t have any of the depth they have been writing him with and just lies to kill people for fun.

But personally, I think it makes more sense in context of the story and the characters, and it makes textual sense considering everything that has been told to us, that Armand chose to go along with the trial bcus he values his coven since it offers him protection (that he logically doesn’t need, bcus he’s extremely powerful, but Armand has a victim mindset that drives all of his choices) over louis, who he considers unreliable, and Madeline + Claudia, who he doesn’t care about. It’s completely unfounded in show canon that Armand is acting out of pure desire to see louis and Claudia dead, since he would have just killed louis and not stayed with him for 77 years after that, if that were the case, which was my entire point. Armand doesn’t act out of a place of hatred or pure evil, he’s doing what he genuinely believes will keep him “safe” even tho he’s the most powerful person in the room, he makes decisions as if he’s in vulnerable danger. He never logically is, but he doesn’t realize that. Did u know! That this is what ptsd does? How crazy, that someone with insane trauma would act out in a fear mindset, even tho they are in no actual danger. So crazy guys. Anyways, I guess I am delusional, holy shit. When u actually pay attention to the motivations and internal logic of characters, u can come off as pretty crazy! Thanks for the ask tho.

[gukksweets7]

Married Life

Pairing: husband jk / wife reader

Wc: 2.8k

Warning: mentions of parents fights, dominating dad of oc,mention of a male hitting a female, burns, fluff.

Summary: when you think your husband is going to hit you but something unexpected happens which changes your view about him.

Note: okay so I don't know what I was doing in this because ugh! It was better in my head nonetheless if you liked it do drop down those notes thing. So and yeah! I will make sure to post something else by the end of this month.

--------------------------------------------------

Life for you has been nothing but suffering.

If asked who caused you this suffering, you feel ashamed to point it out to your parents, no it's only your dad but at some points you find yourself blaming it on your mom too, who married him. But Can you actually blame her when she is also the one suffering?

Your life wasn't in your hands but in your dads hands. That's what it has always been like. Every step you have taken in your life has always been in your dad's hand. From having the right to what you can wear, with whom you should hang around, what type of people you should meet, how you should behave, when you should be back home till the point of your marriage.

Yes, your marriage was decided by him.

You were grateful to your dad that he allowed you to get a good education but did he allow you to join the job you wanted to? No.

People might mistake this as that your dad was indigent. But that wasn't it. Your dad was the owner of a multinational company.

He had billions of dollars in his bank. It also wasn't that your dad had a tiny heart but it was all his so called thoughts of keeping his pride, his daughter protected.

You know well that at points it's just his pride, not even the fact that you're his only daughter. You could never come to the conclusion of why he was so cruel? Neither could you ever come to the conclusion of why it has to be you? Why did you have to go through this?

Your dad has always been too demanding. You were a kid and could never understand it but as you grew up your views with your mindset changed.

You once demanded your dad to let you go to the park just like other kids go with their mom's in the evening but he didn't.

Why?

His possessiveness towards your mom made him do that. You have always seen, your mom only went out when your dad was with her otherwise she wasn't allowed to go out of the house. No, it wasn't that she was restricted from talking. She could talk but only to the women. Never have you seen her even smile at a man if your dad isn't with her.

With time and never decreasing restrictions from your dad on you, you just had one dream. That was to study, get a good job and move out of your family's house.

All of your dreams were complete but on certain terms. For you to get your desired degree you wanted to go abroad but your dad didn't allow it which led you to settle with a degree from a top university in Seoul. About your dream of good job, when you finished your master’s degree in finance and management you again wanted to work away from your family but your dad again pulled you in to his company and on your mother's request you had to give in to your dad's demands and the last of your dream to get out of dad's house finally completed when you put up a strong fight against your dad and the only time you mom too didn't stop you.

You knew the reason, she too wanted to get out of the concrete box she was living in for decades and she eventually realised that if you go out, your dad would definitely not stop her from going to your house, occasionally.

It was seven months ago when your dad brought you the marriage proposal of the only son of the Jeon enterprises. You have heard and even met them but only when you were a 15 year old kid, you remember meeting his parents and even him but that was until he moved abroad for his studies.

No, you weren't close to him. You envied his life. How he was given all the rights. How his mom took him to the park everyday, how he was allowed to go wherever with whoever he wanted. Jungkook’s life was desired by you. But with passing time and increased distance you forgot about him, completely.

But again, things took a drastic turn and he again became a part of your life, an important one, he became your husband.

But, with him things have been very different.

When your dad brought you the proposal to the marriage, of course you couldn't deny. You weren't allowed to go against your dad’s order. You were afraid of having to separate from your mother. How could you deny that when you were never taught that? When you were never taught to take the right stand for you? You couldn't, right?

Things with Jungkook passed on very quickly, you were given some five months before marriage to get to know him. Well, your dad was already in a rush to get you married but it was Jungkook and his family who insisted on giving their son and their soon to be daughter-in-law some time to get to know each other.

To present:

It's a lazy Saturday evening and it's been an hour since you returned from work. Usually you and Jungkook return home together but today you returned home earlier than him while he was attending his last meeting of the day.

It was after a month of your marriage, that Jungkook asked you to occupy the same place you had in your dads company, in his company. Apparently, your dad seemed to have no problem with that.

The door opens and Jungkook gets in with his phone in his hand and his coat on his other hand and a file of paper. He keeps talking to the phone and sits on the couch in the living room, loosening his tie. He places the file on the tea table.

As the call ends, you speak from the kitchen where you are preparing coffee.

“ Jungkook, did you buy the gift?”

Tonight, you have to attend one of Jungkook's friends' 3rd wedding anniversary party.

“ Uh, yeah I've bought it”

“Okay, then go get dressed, I have got your dress ironed and kept it on the bed”

“Huh, thanks” he mumbles standing up while still busy typing something on his phone.

“ When will you get ready? I'll be done in 5”

“ Uh yeah, just after my coffee “ you reply back and receive a nod from his side while he moves to the bedroom.

Being done with your coffee making process. You quickly move to the drawing room to drink it and get ready. You need your regular morning and evening coffee or nothing can stop the headache from coming.

You sit on the couch and keep the hot coffee filled mug on the glass tea table in the front. You throw your head back on the headrest of the sofa and release a sigh of relief. You open your hair and with fingers solve down the jots while your other hand reaches down to grab onto the coffee mug while unfortunately you knock over the hot coffee on the table.

“ Ahhh” you let out a loud scream when the top of your hand too gets burnt from the hot coffee. But your concern soon gets diverted from your own hands to the papers which are soaking in the hot brown liquid.

Your mouth falls agape. These are the same papers of the meeting he attended. These papers are the company’s documents with which the Jeon enterprise is going to collaborate.

You are well aware that the owner of the company is another very busy person and the meeting was scheduled after five months because none of the parties had a common time interval free.

With still your left hand burnt you pick up the paper. It's wet and deep brown. Suddenly the wet paper gets torn apart from the middle in front of your eyes, making you gulp.

No. No. NO!

You quickly throw a look at the clock. Shit! You have to start getting ready now. You quickly pick up whatever paper there is and place it aside. You wipe the table and

the floor where the coffee fell.

You touch the table again and it seems like it needs another wipe cause it seems sticky but you have no time to give it another wipe so you quickly move to the bedroom to get dressed.

As you are sitting on the passenger seat of the car, your navy blue dress matches perfectly with the royal blue coloured suit Jungkook is wearing. But your mind is not here, your mind is stuck on those stacks of papers you have lost due to your carelessness.

As the soft music plays in the background, you slightly turn to look at Jungkook who is focused on the road. You again turn your head to your left looking out the window until you feel the car halt in front of the party venue.

Jungkook usually comes to open your passenger seat door and forwards his hand to take it. This time too he does. You look at his hand and slowly grab onto it then stand up closing the door behind you while Jungkook locks it.

It's a private party, only with the close ones. You pull up a smile on your face and join the party but deep down the thoughts of what has happened and the thoughts of what can happen when Jungkook will know what you have done haunts your thoughts.

You both congratulate Jungkook’s friends and meet up with your other friends.

“oh! I really thought you wouldn't come” one of Jungkook's friend says, hugging him.

“ uh, and is that your—” he says pointing towards you.

“ ah yes James, meet my wife Y/n” you flash James a smile but James forwards his hand for a handshake. You look towards Jungkook then awkwardly grab onto his hands. It might seem weird to someone else as to why you behaved that way but you remembered how your dad never liked your mom getting into any physical contact with a male.

You sigh, looking around as someone comes towards Jungkook who looks as if in his late 40’s and shakes hands with Jungkook. A woman walks hand in hand with him.

“ Jungkook dear, how is everything going?” He asks as his eyes look into your occasionally as you quietly stand there. Your head has started to hurt now. You being deprived of your coffee and the loud music coming from the speakers together helping in it.

“ Everything is fine Mr. Lee. I hope you are doing well too” the conversation between the two goes on while the woman who seems much younger than Mr.Lee, gives you judgemental glances from time to time but her eyes become soft everytime she looks at Jungkook or Jungkook glances at her.

By now, your body feels heavier. You are not able to control yourself anymore and as a result you hold onto Jungkook's hand with all your strength.

It doesn't take Jungkook long to feel you getting uncomfortable beside him. He quickly excuses himself.

“ What happened?” He comes, straight to the point, his voice worried.

“ Jungkook.. can we please go home?” You ask, as he holds you tightly closer to his chest with both his hands on your hips.

“ Okay. Let's go” he is quick to get you out of the venue and drive back home.

You don't realise when you fell asleep on the passenger seat until it's Jungkook’s hand on your shoulder shaking you out of your sleep.

“ Hmm?” You ask sleepily, your eyes half closed.

“ We are home Y/n, get up” he says moving aside for you to come out.

You come out of the car and with him by your side you get in your home. The first thing you do is to grab a pill to have for your headache.

You have now changed your clothes and even Jungkook is done changing his clothes. Jungkook has ordered some take outs for you and him as both of you have eaten nothing in the party.

A loss.

He comes to the bedroom looking slightly stressed and asks “ y/n, have you seen my red file which I kept on the tea table in the evening?”

And that makes you instantly get up which catches Jungkook's attention who was busy looking in the drawers.

“ Uh… no.. ah yes… I guess” you fumble with your words and finally decide on telling the truth cause you know you can't hide it for long enough, not when it's some important file.

“ Where?” He asks now coming face to face with you.

“ Jungkook I… uhh” you are still fumbling with your words not sure about what to say.

“ Y/n, what are you saying?” he gets impatient

“ Accidentally coffee fell… on the file” you add now looking down at the ground.

“ What?” Jungkook almost screams and you find yourself taking steps back. This is definitely going to be bad.

“ How?” He asks now, his voice deeper.

“ So actually you were hurrying so I just wanted to have the coffee fast so I too could get dressed but I just accidentally knocked it down.

“ Where is it?” He asks so you bring the now dry file which is not white but brown in colour, from your wardrobe.

“Here” you say, forwarding him the file. Jungkook scans the files and it seems he can't read what's written in the file.

Jungkook raises the file in mid air to throw it in the table kept at the corner of the room but you think it's for hitting you so you yelp and raise your hands to your face but you were never hit. Instead you feel his hands holding your hands as he removes it from your face.

“ What happened?” He says. It would be a lie to say that Jungkook didn't get what you were thinking but he wanted to hear it from you.

“ Uh.. I thought you uh..” you were not sure what to say.

“ I was about to hit you?” He continues for you while his eyebrows raise and you answer by giving a nod.

“ And why would I do that y/n, you are my wife” he says as your hands are still in his warm, soft hands.

“ When.. sometimes mom made mistakes uh.. so dad… uh sometimes hit her, I have seen that” you say avoiding eye contact with him.

“ Oh” his mouth forms a o shape as he seems quiet for a moment. His parents had a healthy relationship so he probably can not understand how as a child you would have felt when you saw your own mom being disrespected by your dad.

But it was soon that his thumb rubs on your both knuckles and with a stern voice he says.

“ Y/n, look at me” so you raise your eyes and look at him with a small almost unnoticeable pout on your pink moisturized lips.

“ What you dad did was very wrong but I would never do that. Okay?” he says looking into your eyes.

“ And about the file, this is just a copy. I have the real one at the office. I'll ask someone to send it at our place, hmm?”

“ Thank you.. jungkook” you say as a small smile forms on your face and you stare at his face, well well well you do have a crush on him.

“But… why are your knuckles so red?” He asks looking at the said hands knuckles and the area there.

“ Uhh.. coffee fell there”

“ Did you apply any ointment?” He already guesses that you haven't.

“ Uh, no… I thought I would but forgot” you say examining your own knuckles.

So he takes the initiative to apply ointment on your knuckles and sometimes scolds you. In these 2 months being married to Jungkook it is the first time you are actually seeing his caring side so as Jungkook applies ointment on your knuckles you look at his face.

You don't realise when Jungkook is done with applying the ointment on your fingers and looks towards you catching you staring at him. Both of your eyes widened— your cause you were caught and his cause he felt shy. Both of you look at the other side with smiles forming on your faces.

Thankfully, the doorbell rang signalling someone has arrived which you guess must be the delivery man for the takeouts.

“ How about we watch a movie and have our takeout?” He suggests looking at you with his big bambi eyes to which he receives a happy nod from you.

Jungkook holds your hand and pulls you with him out of the bedroom. You smile the biggest which Jungkook ofcourse can't see, even though Jungkook was your dad's choice but he is not like your dad.

----------------

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[every-kuzu]

Please I beg you to do a character analysis on Kakuzu <3 from whichever part of him you'd like

okay. i’ve got a two hour car ride and a playlist to listen to - lets take a crack at this.

i’ve talked about this a little in response to another ask, so i’ll be bringing up stuff that i have touched on before, but first and foremost - kakuzu is a very guarded character. a lot of the time, you need to pause and really observe him, peel back the layers, which is something a lot of naruto fans don’t really do - probably because kishimoto didn’t spend a lot of time on him and hidan. hell, there are some things that even i didn’t notice until i started this blog and had to pause and observe him.

so. when you ask the average naruto fan about kakuzu, what’s the first thing they would think of? money, most likely. and his love for money is a big part of his character - but is it really the biggest? he says that the only thing you can have faith in is money, which i have no doubt is his actual philosophy, but he still backs away from asuma and his bounty (which it’s clearly been shown that he wants) when pain calls them back to ame. hidan complains and tries to bargain for more time, but kakuzu shuts him up and falls back immediately. this could’ve easily been a moment where he too tells pain that they need more time, but no.

because kakuzu is loyal. one could even be so bold as to call him loyal to a fault, especially in the past and even more especially given his past. that loyalty is what allowed takigakure to betray him in the past, yet he still shows pain that very same loyalty. he even tells hidan that the mission they were given by pain is absolute - another thing that is very unexpected, given his backstory.

so what does this tell us? that kakuzu believes in akatsuki's plans, or at the very least has a lot of respect for pain. (this plan being nagato's original, not any of the three-or-four-different-plans-in-a-trenchcoat-bullshit that showed up in the war arc.) now, kakuzu is also very obviously jaded from a long life in a world like naruto's, so i'd say it's up to interpretation how much faith he actually had in akatsuki, but do you really think he'd stay if he didn't see himself getting anything out of it in the end?

and that brings me very-much-not-seamlessly to my next point: he's not as uncaring as he acts, and this is best illustrated through his relationship with hidan.

now, when you look at their relationship, the general consensus would be that they hate each other. and once you look a little deeper, it seems like hidan cares more then kakuzu. according to some sources, he only joined the akatsuki because of kakuzu, and he openly shows concern for him in the fight versus team 10 + kakashi. but what's often overlooked here is that kakuzu does the same, and that's likely because you have to look even deeper to see it.

on the surface, kakuzu seems to be at the very least annoyed with hidan at all times. he berated him and talks down to him most of the time, and hidan retaliates. they seem to be at each other’s throats most of the time. but kakuzu has a lot of faith in hidan’s abilities. the minute hidan gets his curse on asuma, kakuzu’s thoughts are about how he’s 35 million ryo richer, which shows that he truly believed that hidan had it in the bag. the same goes for the fight with team 10 + kakashi - when they get separated, kakuzu openly expresses that he believes that hidan will kill shikamaru. he also shows concern for hidan, which is best shown, again, in the fight with team 10 + kakashi. kakuzu might not show it as openly as hidan does, but he does care about him. unfortunately, since we get to see so little of them, this is the best example i’ve got and we can only speculate how this care extended to the other members of the akatsuki.

which brings me to the next thing i want to touch upon - his anger and how it’s presented to us. or rather, not presented, because it’s an informed flaw.

the kakuzu we’re told about through other characters is apparently famous for entering a murderous rage every time something annoys him, but the kakuzu we’re shown doesn’t match this. the kakuzu we see is jaded, stoic, and grumpy, but he’s never mad. the most we get is him taking a single swipe at hidan after he griped about a bounty, but that was just in the anime. we know that he’s killed four former partners in this murderous rage of his, but he never shows a sign of being even close to snapping in the manga. and yet this “anger” is what most of the fandom chooses to cling to when it comes to him, which i think is because it’s something that can be observed from how other characters talk about him and not something that you need to observe from him. still, kakuzu’s murderous rage is an informed flaw, which i think is disconnected from how he’s presented to us, especially when we dig a little deeper.

in the end, i don’t really have a conclusion to all of this. it was mostly a way for me to point things out that most people might’ve not noticed. but in the end, this is just my personal interpretation of all these little things, and i’m not trying to claim that it’s the only correct one, but i’m just saying - i believe that there is more to him under the surface.