#so i had to wait until i got to my town's CVS to buy some | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queenofimagines · 4 years

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Questions

Request: “can I get a jj x reader where y/n is being abused at home and jj finds out when he’s not suppose to. Y/n likes to hide it so when jj asks she denies. She comes up with lies and when jj tries to get the group involved they believe y/n’s lies. Jj tries to convince them but y:n breaks down and is denfensive at jj. But finally admit. Anyway I love ur work sm💜💜”

Warnings: Mentions of abuse. It’s kind of detailed in the beginning and even though it’s mostly just yelling and verbal fighting it can be triggering so please proceed with caution.

Waking up sore was definitely not how you planned your day to go. Every day since last Friday, it seemed, the aches in your body were getting worse and worse. The pain itself you could handle pretty easily, some pain killers in the morning and maybe a couple more throughout the day and you’d be set, what you really couldn’t stand was how you had come to be so sore.

It was an accident, honest to God. You went out with your friends and it had gotten late so you opted to have dinner with your friends. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, your father never cooked and your mother split when you were just a baby, so most nights you were left to fend for yourself. You had texted your father, letting him know that you would be out late but you had neglected to tell him you would be eating dinner with your friends on account of the fact that it just didn’t make sense to tell him, especially since he paid such little attention to you in the first place. So when you got home, stuffed with the free food that Kiara had convinced her parents to give you and the rest of the Pogues, to see your father sitting at the dinner table with what looked like a full meal for himself and half a sandwich for you, you knew that little good would come out of whatever you had just walked into.

“I got you a sandwich.” Was all he said. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. He hadn’t gotten you a sandwich, you knew him better than that. No, what happened was that he had only eaten half of his sandwich for lunch and had given you the other half after he realized he hadn’t thought to buy you something from whatever restaurant he decided stop by on his way home.

“Thanks. I’ll take it for lunch tomorrow.” You responded. You began making your way up to your room when his voice stopped you.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“No, I had dinner with my friends.” You braced yourself for the inevitable. You knew it was coming, the screaming, the insults. You had dealt with that on nearly a daily basis. On cue, your father slammed his fist into the table and began berating you about what an ungrateful child you were. About how he took care of you, clothed you, housed you, fed you. ‘Bullshit’ you wanted to say. None of what he said was true. You bought your own clothes with the money you made from the various odd jobs around town. You were the one who learned to cook so that you could scrape together just enough to get you through the day. And if it weren’t for your people skills and the money you were able to pull together, there wouldn’t even be a roof over your heads.

‘Whatever’ you thought. It didn’t matter, he would be done yelling soon and you could leave. But it didn't stop, not like it usually did. Today was just a bad day for him you guessed because it seemed like every move you made, every twitch and every glance, was somehow you showing him disrespect that he “didn’t deserve,” although you would have argued that he deserved much more than what you were giving him.

The panic really began to settle in when he began to move closer to you. Your father was prone to temper tantrums and you knew on days like this what would come next. You backed away the closer he came but soon found yourself trapped against the wall with nowhere to go. He reached you soon after, his hand enclosing around your throat and putting an uncomfortable amount of pressure on it before releasing you in order to hit you. First it was a slap to the face, then a punch to the gut that had you on the floor, then he began kicking you over and over and over again until you could see black spots in your vision and taste blood in your mouth.

‘Just a few more’ you kept telling yourself. How you wished you hadn’t. If you had stood up to him this time, if you had fought back, maybe you wouldn’t be laying in bed too sore to even sit up. If you had done something, anything, maybe the first thought in your head this morning wouldn’t have been about how to cover the bruises that were left on your skin.

As slowly as possible you sat up, gently moving your feet to the ground in order to stand and staying still for just a moment while your head stopped spinning. You definitely had a concussion, you concluded, but the only way to heal it would be with time. You slowly shuffled to your closet, grabbing a white long sleeved shirt and some capri shorts. Most of the bruises were along your torso, your limbs not bruising as easily with the exception of your bicep up near your shoulder. After you changed you quickly made your way to the mirror to make sure everything was hidden, opening the blinds when you found the light in your room to be too dim, although opening the blinds didn’t do much since your window was facing another building. You used what little light you could get to do your makeup, using a color corrector under your foundation to hide the bruises that were forming along your jaw and neck.

“It’ll have to do.” You said to yourself after assessing your work, then making your way to the bathroom in order to grab some pain killers from the cabinet. You quickly located a bottle of pain killers you had gotten from CVS and popped the cap off only to find it empty.

“Fuck.” You groaned, a vague memory of you waking up in the middle of the night and downing the last two in the bottle hitting you. Sighing, you headed back to your room, grabbing your jacket before creeping downstairs and out your front door, relieved to see that your father’s truck was gone. Down the street you could see JJ already waiting for you. You did your best to adjust your pace so that the slight limp you had developed wouldn’t be so noticeable while also keeping up speed so as not to arouse any kind of suspicion.

“Hey babe, what’s with the shorts?” JJ asked. You didn’t usually where capri shorts, in fact, JJ was pretty sure that you hated them.

“Laundry day.” You answered, grabbing his hand and pulling him in the direction of the Chateau. You were thankful that JJ didn’t question it, instead changing the subject to whatever scheme the boys had cooked up the night before. You tried to listen to what he was saying but in all honestly, you just couldn’t stop thinking about how much pain you were in. For the entirety of your walk you told yourself that you could make it to the end of the day and after JJ dropped you off at your house like he always did, you could go to the store and get some kind of over the counter pain killer. But the pain was beginning to be too much. There was a Walgreens just ahead of you and you couldn’t resist the urge to go in and get anything to ease your pain.

“Hey JJ?” You asked, gently grabbing his attention.

“What’s up?” He answered.

“Can we go in for a second? I have some stuff I need to get.”

“Anything for you, my love.” JJ said, bowing towards you in an attempt to make you laugh, smiling when he pulled a light chuckle out of you. His happiness quickly turned into concern when he saw you wince and hold your stomach.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Just um... period cramps.” You answered before ducking into the building. JJ almost believed you, key word almost. He knew your cramps got so bad sometimes that you couldn’t even get out of bed, but it was for that exact reason that he knew you were lying. JJ had your cycle memorized just so he could always be prepared for when your period started; the week before he would always stock up on snacks and make sure that the heating pad he kept at his place was always fully charged. JJ’s first thought was that he had forgotten, panic slowly rising in his throat, but he also had a gut feeling that that wasn’t the case. JJ checked his phone to settle his confusion and sure enough, your period wasn’t due to start for at least another couple of weeks. JJ followed you in, upset that you would rather lie to him than tell him something was wrong.

“What exactly is it you’re looking for?” JJ asked.

“Pain killers,” you answered.

“Why?”

“Like I said, cramps.” You had just turned down the first aid isle when you realized JJ was staring at you.

“Something wrong?” You asked.

“You’re not on your period.” You froze, mentally facepalming at how dumb of an excuse you had come up with. Of course JJ would have caught your lie, he had been so amazing whenever your period came around, always being prepared and willing to give you whatever you needed. You were hoping that JJ would have blamed his own carelessness on the matter, but what you didn’t know was that when it came to you, JJ always made a point to be deliberate with his actions.

You didn’t answer, not knowing what to say. Should you keep with the lie? Maybe say your period came early? Or should you come clean? But coming clean would mean telling JJ what really happened and you knew he would blame himself for it, even if he had nothing to do with it. Luckily, or maybe not so, you didn’t get the chance to respond.

“You’re in pain,” JJ took a step towards you. You almost took a step back but resisted the urge to last minute, memories of last Friday suddenly bombarding you. JJ slowly grabbed your hands.

“Where does it hurt?” He asked. You were surprised, having expected him to demand to know why you were hurt.

“My legs.” JJ raised an eyebrow at you, knowing that you were still hiding something.

“A-and my shoulders.” You didn’t dare look at him, afraid that you would break down if you did, instead deciding to fiddle with a piece of paper you had left in the pocket of your shorts.

“There’s more, isn’t there” It was more of a statement than a question but the way JJ said it, in an impossibly soft voice that he just knew you couldn’t say no to, made the thought of telling him all the places you were bruised seem less daunting.

“My torso kind of hurts too, and my jaw. Um, also my neck.” You whispered.

“Why?” Such a simple question, you thought, a simple inquiry that would be sure to break you both. You didn’t answer, eyes trained on the floor while you thought about how stupid it was for you to have believed that being honest with JJ about your pain was a good idea. You had kept it a secret for so long and in one moment of weakness you had jeopardized it. If you hadn’t been so weak, you thought, then maybe you could have avoided all this and just gone to the Chateau instead of being here practically breaking right in front of JJ.

JJ watched you chew your lip, seeing the conflict in your eyes and chastising himself for putting you in such a state of distress, but the pain he felt in that moment couldn’t compare to the pain he felt in the next. JJ saw the purplish bruises on your jaw and neck that were partially being hidden by your hair, the makeup you had used to cover it evidently being inadequate. It was enough to go unnoticed if people weren’t paying any particular attention but it wasn’t blended well in some places, making it easy to see the slight difference in pigment between the bruised and unbruised skin. By now JJ was shaking, gently holding your face so that you would look at him.

“Who did this to you?” His thumbs gently caressing your jaw. “Was it your dad?”

“No,” You slightly jerked away from his touch. “He would never do that JJ. I’m not being abused or anything I’m just clumsy that’s all. You know me, I never pay attention to where I’m going!” You laughed, hoping that it would be enough to make JJ believe you. He didn’t, not even for a second.

“Y/N if he’s hurting you, you have to tell me.”

“I don’t have to do anything,” you said, beginning to get defensive. “My dad isn’t hurting me JJ so stop with all the questions. And stop thinking that just because you’re my boyfriend means that I owe it to you to tell you.”

You were being harsh, you knew that, but you needed JJ to leave the subject alone and the only way you knew how was to get him to be angry at you. You hated it when JJ was mad at you but desperate times call for desperate measures.

JJ did let the subject slide on account of the fact that he knew if he kept talking he would definitely say something he would regret. He wasn’t going to let it go completely, though. If you weren’t going to tell him the truth then surely if he got the Pogues to intervene too, if he could somehow convince you that they were all on your side, then maybe you’d feel safer talking about it. What he didn’t understand is why you would be willing to protect someone who was causing you so much pain. He knew about your strained relationship with your father, that in and of itself already drained you so much, but your father physically hurting you was a whole other problem. Still, given how much you hated your father he didn’t know why you were protecting him, but that wasn’t what you were doing. In all honestly, you were ashamed that this was happening in the first place. You felt like you were a pretty independent and strong willed person and knowing that one man could render you so powerless made you feel weak. On top of that you felt like you were drained enough as it is, adding the fuss that you would have to deal with when your friends found out was just something that you didn’t think you had the energy to handle.

You quickly found some pain killers and paid, making your way towards the Chateau faster than you ever had. The walk with JJ had turned awkward and you felt like if you were with him alone for a second longer you would explode, so when you had crossed paths with Kiara and Pope you were glad to have someone else to break the tension. From then on it was smooth sailing for you, despite the fact that you spent almost the whole time avoiding JJ. You figured you were being subtle enough but the way JJ was practically glaring at you tipped the boys off.

“Hey, is something going on with you and Y/N?” Pope asked.

“Yeah it seems like she’s been avoiding you. Did you guys get into a fight or something?” John B added.

“I think Y/N is being abused.” JJ answered, not even bothering to sugar coat it.

“What?” Both Pope and John B spoke at the same time, eyes wide.

“She has bruises on her neck and jaw and earlier, before we came he, we stopped by Walgreens so she could get some pain meds. She lied and said she was on her period but it isn’t due for another couple of weeks.”

“Well, that could be anything JJ...” John B said, but it seemed like he was trying to convince himself as much as JJ.

“It’s not. I think I would know. We have to do something.”

“No, what we need is proof,” Pope spoke up. “Even if abuse seems like the likely reason for her bruises there's still a chance that it is something else. One of us could ask her.”

“Sure Pope, instead of helping my girlfriend, who just so happens to be one of your best friends, we should definitely just outright ask her if she’s being abused. She’ll be really eager to answer that honestly.”

“I meant that one of us should ask how she got the bruise. And unless you have a better idea I don’t see what else we could do.” JJ fell silent at that. He knew Pope was right, so the boys joined you, Sarah, and Kiara. The boys exchanged looks, trying to decide who would ask. JJ was already out of the question but they didn’t know if the question would sound more innocent coming from John B or Pope.

“Hey Y/N, what happened to your jaw?” Pope finally asked.

“Yeah, I thought your neck looked a little off too. You okay?

“Oh, yeah! You guys remember a couple days ago when I fell off the boat? Turns out I hit my chin pretty hard and it caused this ugly ass bruise to pop up. I tried to cover it but you know how crappy the lighting in my room is.” You laughed. Now that you had calmed down, lying came easy, and having had a couple of hours to prepare your answer made it all the more easier. Your friends seemed pretty convinced by your answer and you were satisfied that you had avoided the subject.

“What about your legs then?” JJ asked, pushing you. “And your torso, hm? What about those?”

“Uh, well we did do a lot of swimming-”

“No more than we usually do. Plus you’re on the swim team, you don’t get sore from swimming.”

“What are you implying JJ?”

“I’m implying that you’re not telling us the truth.” By now both you and JJ were on your feet and breathing heavily. You were angry and panicked that JJ was pushing you so far. JJ was desperate to help you and even if he was going about it the wrong way he didn’t know what else to do.

“Okay guys just calm down,” Sarah said, gently grabbing your arm and pulling you to sit, John B soon doing the same with JJ.

“Y/N is JJ right?” Kiara asked. You picked up the pillow that had fallen to the floor when you stood up, picking at a loose thread at one of the corners and refusing to answer. It had been a tough day already and right now you felt like you would break at any moment, but you were exhausted. Exhausted from fighting with JJ and from having to lie to your friends and completely defeated by the fact that this had become your life.

“Y-Yes,” You admitted, finally letting the tears fall. “He just- he just get’s so mad sometimes and he can’t control it and I get it because there’s no one else to take it b-but I don’t know what to do because I can’t leave, I have no where else to go.”

You were sobbing at this point, holding onto the pillow in your lap like a life line. JJ was the first to react, practically jumping over the coffee table to hold you. The rest of the Pogues soon followed, hugging you while their hearts broke more and more with each sob you emitted.

“You’re wrong,” John B spoke after a few moments. “You'll always have a place here.”

“I can’t just leave.” You responded, taking deep breathes to calm down.

“I know it’s hard,” JJ stated. “But we’ll be here for you okay? We’ll call Child Protective Services and sort this all out so you never have to see him again.”

“B-but what if they take me away? I don’t even know of any other family I have.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” Kiara said, gently squeezing your hand. “We won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Yeah. And anyway we could always bribe the officer.” Sarah agreed, trying to lighten the mood which caused you all to laugh.

“It’s settled then! You’ll stay here with me and JJ and tomorrow morning we’ll all go to your house together to grab your stuff, okay?” John be asked. You thought it over. This, this was your light at the end of the tunnel. An end to the constant fear you felt. You’d thought of a moment like this a million times over but each time you always figured that you’d have to refuse it. But now that you were here, faced with the decision, you knew you’d be an idiot to say no. A smile slowly spread across your face.

“Okay.”

#jj maybank imagine #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj outer banks #Outer Banks #outer banks one shot #outer banks x reader #outer banks imagine #pogues #obx pogues #outer banks pogues #obx #obx x reader #obx imagine #obx one shot

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louhooo · 5 years

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The Patient

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: It’s cold and flu season, y’all

Word Count: 2774

Warnings: Swearing, FLUFF, nurse Bucky

Prompt: “Is that my shirt?” // “It’s the only one that will warm my cold soul.”

A/N: This is part of the “Rainy Day” universe. This is for @littledarlinhavefaithinme All Things Fall Writing Challenge!!! I’ve changed my idea for this about twenty times lol and this may or may not be based on the fact that I turn into such a baby when I have a cold. I’m v dramatic and a patient Bucky to nurse me back to health (but mainly put up with my complaining) is exactly what I would want/need.

It started out as a sniffle.

Tony was in the middle of explaining all of the modifications he’d added to the quinjet– S.H.I.E.L.D doesn’t know anything yet– and Bucky had lost interest after a few minutes of Tony’s impassioned rambling. Especially once he heard you from across the room.

You sat next to Natasha, your hands tucked into the pockets on your Avenger’s issued sweatshirt, and your legs kicked up onto the empty chair on your other side. Tony was describing a new feature for the weapons on the jet, but you were more focused on the grey hair poking through on his goatee. You leaned over to Nat.

“Do you think he colors his beard?” You whispered. She leaned back.

“I know he does. I caught Pepper buying a box of black “Just For Men” as CVS one time. She was very quick at hiding the box from me.” You chuckled and settled back into your seat.

“Something you wanna share with the class, ladies?” Tony raised a brow, waiting impatiently for you and Nat to stop talking during his demonstration. You smiled–too innocently for Tony’s standards– and shook your head.

“Nope. You’re doin’ a great job, boss.” Tony sighed and rolled his eyes and picked up where he left off before he was so rudely interrupted. You felt eyes on you and almost immediately found Bucky’s from across the room. You grinned at him, his own grin mirroring yours.

You and Bucky had gone to the carnival in the town near the compound on Halloween night, but as soon as you both sat down to share a caramel apple that’d you’d been craving for weeks, you were called out on a short recon to Canada for the last few days with Nat, and only just got back an hour ago, just as Tony’s spiel presentation started.

You missed your boyfriend. And the caramel you never got to enjoy.

As soon as Tony finished, you walked over to the other side of the room and tugged Bucky up.

“Nice to see ya, too, Y/N!” Sam bellowed as you headed down the hall. Bucky chuckled and wrapped his fingers with yours as you dragged him out of the room.

“What’s the rush, sugar? You didn’t even give Sam a comeback.” You grinned and pulled him into the elevator with you, hitting the button to your floor. You buried your face into his chest as soon as the doors shut, inhaling his musk.

“I missed you,” you spoke, your voice muffled by his shirt. Bucky grinned and let your hand go so that he could hold you closer.

“I missed you, too.” The Bucky that woke up in Wakanda never pictured having anyone this important in his life, not like this anyways. He always had Steve, and even though Sam annoyed Bucky in ways he never imagined, he’d grown to like him (even if it took him a while). But being… open and vulnerable with a girl? He had already signed that part of his life off.

Luckily for him, you were too stubborn and never stopped convincing him that he deserved that.

Deserved love.

Deserved you.

You sniffled again and stared at your blue-eyed man with a love drunk grin, but instead of your usual forehead kiss, his brows pinched together as his eyes roamed your face.

“You feelin’ okay?” You nodded slowly.

“Yeah…? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you keep sniffling. And your heart is beating differently; faster.”

“And I’m also staring at a super hot guy right now….” Bucky’s concern dropped for the moment so he could give you a deadpanned stare. You giggled and stepped back as the elevator dinged for your floor. You took his hand again and walked towards your apartment.

“I’m serious, Y/N.”

“I am, too, Buck. I mean, have you ever seen yourself? Somebody call the fire department, ‘cause you’re smokin’!” You laughed at your joke as F.R.I.D.A.Y. scanned your thumb to open the door. You stepped in and kicked off your shoes, leaving Bucky so you could search for something to eat. He shut the door and turned on your living room light as he followed you into the kitchen. “Do you have food at your place? Nothin’ looks good in my fridge. Oh! Hey! Did you keep that caramel apple?!”

“No, I think Clint ate it.” Your shoulders dropped. “I think you caught somethin’ when you were gone. You need to go to Med Bay and get cleared.” You rolled your eyes and shut the fridge with your hip.

“Bucky, don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic? Nat and I didn’t even do that much. It was just recon. And I’m literally just there for tech; I don’t even getta do anything that exciting.”

He sighed. He would discuss your importance for the team later. “Doesn’t mean you couldn’t have come into contact with somethin’! Could be some airborne pathogen! What if it’s poisonous?” You sighed and gave your overly anxious boyfriend a tender grin.

“Baby… I promise you, I feel fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”

By that night, you had lost the ability to breathe through your nose. When you woke up the next morning, your head was throbbing and you had a puddle of drool on your pillow from your mouth being open all night.

Bucky politely waited an hour before casually mentioning that he did tell you to get checked out. You glared at him and threw an empty box of tissues at his head. You didn’t miss.

“Here’s some soup.” You were propped up in bed, bundled under blankets with twenty used tissues scattered on top. Bucky set the tray on your lap and waited until you were fully settled before letting it sit on your lap completely. He glanced at you and brushed the hair out of your face. “How’re ya feelin’? Has the medicine kicked in yet?”

“No,” you grumbled, glaring up at Bucky. He’d take your glare seriously if he didn’t find it so cute.

“Maybe you should take a lil’ more.”

“If you make me drink any more of that crap, I’ll scream.”

“That ‘crap’ is what’s going to make you feel better.”

“Bull.” He huffed a laugh as he sat on the bed, throwing all the tissues into the garbage can. “You’re mocking me.” He raised a brow at you. “You can’t get sick, so you’re just rubbin’ it my face that you can touch my germs and be fine!” He chuckled and set the now full trash down on the floor beside the bed.

“Eat your soup. I’ll go get you some more water.” You grumbled and slowly took a spoonful of the hot broth and brought it to your lips. Bucky watched you take another bite before grabbing your empty water bottle and going to the kitchen. He unscrewed the lid and held it under the fridge dispenser until it filled with cold water. He put the lid back on, and grabbed an extra package of tissues, just in case. When he got back to the bedroom, you looked up at him with a woeful gaze.

“Can you sit with me? I don’t wanna be alone.” Bucky smirked warmly and set your bottle down on the nightstand and squeezed onto the bed beside you so he was propped against the pillows. You sat up and adjusted the pillows more, and pulled on the arm of his sweatshirt until he scooted closer to you.

He laid his arm behind you and chuckled. “What else do you want me to do, baby?” You sighed and leaned your head back so you were leaning against his chest.

“Don’t be mad at me, but I don’t wanna eat right now.”

“You needta eat, sweetheart.”

“I know…” you whined, “but I’m not hungry right now. I’m still full from lunch.” You groaned and reached for a tissue from the box in Bucky’s hand and held it up under your nose. “I’m dying. I never wanna go to a Halloween festival ever again.” Bucky breathed through his nose and moved the tray of food from your lap, to the end table to avoid hot liquid being spilled all over you and the bed.

“I don’t think you mean that, and I don’t think you’re dying–”

“I am. And, I do.” Stubborn. And dramatic. Just how Bucky liked you. You balled up the tissue and leaned over him to drop it into the garbage. You missed and groaned again. “I’ll pick it up later.” You tucked yourself back into his side until you were comfortable.

“Only if you’re not dead first, right?” You narrowed your eyes up at him, a cheeky grin on his face.

“You’re not cute.” A loud laugh came out of Bucky that normally would have made you happy, if your head wasn’t throbbing.

“Didn’t realize I got so ugly in just a day….” Your eyes stayed narrowed and Bucky chuckled. “C’mon. I’ll play with your hair if you lay down.” You hummed, assessing him and his proposition.

“… okay. I’ll allow it.” Bucky rolled his eyes good naturedly and you settled back into his side, your arm hooking over his abdomen. His metal digits scratched your scalp how you liked it, and he felt your breathing start to shift, growing slower and slower as you drifted to sleep.

Well… almost to sleep.

You sat up and moved your head as a harsh cough raked you. Bucky grimaced and sat up, too, his urge to protect gnawing at him to do something to make you feel better. You took a few gulps of water and your coughing subsided. You sighed and kicked your feet out from under the covers and stumbled out of bed.

“Where’re you–”

“I gotta pee.” You shuffled into the bathroom and shut the door. You glanced in the mirror and cringed. Your nose was red and crusty, your lips were chapped, and you looked like you could use a hot shower after a day of being in sick and in bed. You opened the door again, and Bucky was standing right there and jumped. “Jesus! What are you doing?”

“I was gonna help you back to bed.” You grinned and shifted your weight to lean against the door frame.

“I’m okay, Buck. I am gonna shower, though, so you can relax.”

“Do you need help?” you raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Bucky shook his head. “Not like that. You could take a bath, and I’ll help you.”

“I’m okay, babe. I can handle a shower.” Now, Bucky looked at you disbelievingly.

“You sure?” You nodded and he studied you before sighing, and accepting your reassurance. You shut the door and Bucky stayed there until he heard the shower door open and the water start. He glanced around the room and decided he could clean up. He took the cold soup and tray and set them in the kitchen, transferring the soup into a storage container for later when you were “hangry”, as you called it.

He emptied the garbage from the bedroom into the bigger kitchen garbage can, tying it up and taking it out to the special incinerator Stark put in living quarters of the compound. Steve was walking down the hallway when Bucky stepped out.

“Hey, Buck. How’s Y/N doin’?” Steve followed Bucky as they walked down the hall.

“She’s takin’ a shower, now, so I think she’s feeling a little bit better. That, or the cold medicine is kicking in finally.” Bucky would wait until you were back to your normal self before teasing you about how theatrical you were being with anyone. Steve chuckled.

“That’s good. Nat and I went over their recon today. You, me, and Nat are headin’ to Canada in a few days. She gonna be okay by then?” Bucky slowly opened the door to the incinerator and lowered the garbage into it. He knew you’d be okay by then, and you’d tell him to “go and save the world from the bad guys,” but the idea of leaving made him anxious. Steve could sense the hesitation.

“I can see if Sam can go, too, if you don’t think she’ll be okay by then?”

“It’s just…” Bucky scratched the back of his neck trying to come up with a valid excuse. He’d already used all of his best ones. Steve gave Bucky an understanding grin. Since Bucky had bought that ring, he hated any time either he or Y/N had to leave for a mission. It wasn’t a coincidence that Bucky’s missions had been cut lately.

“I get it, Buck. I’ll ask Sam.” Bucky grinned at his oldest friend and Steve smacked his shoulder. “But, can you ask, already? I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to keep it a secret. I’m pretty sure Nat already figured it out.” Bucky rolled his eyes and sighed.

“It’s kinda concerning how bad at lying you are, Steve. You threaten our national security almost daily.”

“Shut up, or I’ll ‘slip up’ in front of your girl.” Bucky rolled his eyes again and started to walk back to your apartment.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see ya later, Stevie.” Bucky patted his friend’s shoulder and Steve murmured back his own goodbye.

Bucky got back into the apartment and noticed the shower wasn’t running anymore. He walked back to your bedroom and found you sitting in bed, your hair still wet, tucked under the covers, and in a familiar long sleeved flannel he hadn’t seen for a while now. You were scrolling through your phone, enjoying the short lived moment of being able to breathe through your nose.

“Is that my shirt?” You glanced up at Bucky and back down at what you were wearing.

“I’m still dying, and it’s the only one that will warm my cold soul.” Bucky raised a brow.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, doll.”

“Shh, I’m sick and I think the cold medicine kicked in in the shower, so I’m also slightly high.” Bucky chuckled and moved to get in bed beside you. Your phone wasn’t interesting anymore and you curled into his side. “Where’d you go?”

“Took the garbage out, and Steve was in the hall.”

“I just checked my email and Nat said they went through the footage this morning. She said you two and Steve were gonna go to Canada in a few days.”

“Change of plans. Steve said Sam was goin’ instead.” You looked up at him, a crease drawn between your eyebrows.

“Oh…. Why, did something happen?” Bucky grinned and smoothed out your concern with his thumb.

“Nothin’ happened. They just needed Sam, instead. ‘Sides, if I left, who’d be able to take care of you and your cold soul?” You grinned and rolled your eyes. You laid your head back down, leaving a wet spot on Bucky’s chest from your hair, but he didn’t care.

“You’re the only one I wanna annoy when I’m sick.” He smirked and rubbed his hand up and down your bicep.

“You don’t annoy me, doll.” You sniffled.

“You’re sweet for lyin’ to me, Buck.” You rubbed your hand over his stomach, feeling the muscles contract under your touch.

“I’m not lyin’. You’d be able to tell if I was annoyed with you.” You hummed.

“I guess that’s true. You always give Sam a death glare whenever he starts singing to you.”

“Well, he’s not good.” You giggled a raspy laugh.

“You just don’t like what he sings.”

“It’s not appropriate. And, I know you’re gonna call me ‘old’, but music from my day wasn’t so vulgar. It was real music.” You grinned and rolled your eyes.

“You like it when I play it, though…?” Bucky was quiet for a long time. When you looked back up at him, you could tell he was trying to come up with a retort. “Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.” Bucky glared playfully and held your head back down as you giggled and settled back on his chest.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” You laughed as Bucky bit back his grin. He’d planned on asking you on Halloween while you were at the carnival, but then you got called on the mission, and his plans were foiled. He made sure to complain to Steve about stealing you away the whole time you were gone. He knew he could go to his apartment and take the ring out of his combat boots and ask you right now, snotty nose and all.

But, this moment was good how it was.

The ring could wait for another time when Bucky wasn’t cuddled up with his girl.

#Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes x You #Bucky Barnes x Y/N #Bucky x Reader #Bucky x Y/N #Bucky x You #little darlin's all thing fall writing challenge #ldatfwc

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datingintampafails · 4 years

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Chapter 23: Jake* Part One

Jake* and I had a romance that in the beginning felt very much like Romeo & Juliet, similar to the tragic Shakespeare play, it had a tragic ending. However, a lot less death in my version.

Ethan* and I actually reconnected for a short bit, about two weeks, strictly as FWB before downgrading it to regular friends without the benefits. We decided to help each other on our quests for finding relationships, and working together to improve our dating profiles. Although I had said to myself and my friends I wouldn’t return to the apps until after attending a friends’ wedding, I caved upon helping Ethan* with his love life, and behold, the apps were back on my phone a few days before I left for the wedding, though I wasn’t taking it seriously or being a “try-hard;” I left my accounts on pause or “don’t show me” most of the time.

It all started on Hinge with Jake*. I would not say Jake* was my type, but something spoke to me about him. The conversation started with a “Hey” from him, not super creative, and I usually make fun of people that on apps do this, I will literally call them out and be like “WOW YOU GOT ME” but this time I felt nice and decided to be a normal human being. Luckily, he was not a brick wall for conversation. He was out of town with family in North Carolina. That is one thing I like about Hinge, no matter where you are you can still search particularly at your home base, without having to buy the premium version of whatever of the app like the other ones do. He seemed spontaneous, as he described his trip as his mom coming by and saying hey we’re leaving you wanna come? What a life, I couldn’t imagine having that kind of freedom.

I told him how I was about to leave for a wedding and would also be out of town. We got deep, quickly, and were very vulnerable with each other almost immediately. I apologized for being a bummer, but he said he was happy we were actually talking about things instead of superficial things. We continued to talk through the app almost constantly while I was still at the wedding. We decided upon meeting the next Wednesday since he was getting back from his trip Tuesday; I return on Monday. Along the way, I found out he was allergic to cheese. Like not lactose intolerant, fully allergic. I told some of my best friend and Ethan* about this, and jokingly they said it was a red flag and to abort. I went with the logic of “more cheese for me.”

I got home from the wedding and Tuesday I found I was coughing a little bit. I got home from work and had a mild fever. I told him tomorrow we should do a virtual date. He asked how we would do that and I said Facetime if he had an iPhone. So I gave him my number and we had a silly text conversation before bed.

Classic. How could I not want to be with someone like this?

The next morning I woke up with an even higher fever and called off work. I check Instagram and find that the maid of honor from the wedding is also sick. I inquire and it leads to a whole investigation, excel document, and so on as we discover that 16 people (at least) are now sick. One person was rapid tested and it is COVID-19. I get myself tested at a local CVS that day. I tell Jake* about the story’s progression. We still have our Facetime date later and he says he would be happy to bring me anything if I need it.

When I get my results a few days later, I officially have COVID-19. I’m told by the health department to quarantine 10 days after my symptoms started. My work requires that I be retested and receive a negative test before I go to work, so I plan to get tested on that day; Jake* and I also decided we will have a first date that day as well.

I learn a lot about Jake* during my quarantine. We text almost constantly, that is when we aren’t Facetiming, which is also very frequent. We often would Facetime for literal hours. I learn a lot about him that scares me in a way, but more so that he has had a very complicated and violent childhood which led to not being a super upstanding citizen when he was a teenager. I was upfront and told him I was intimidated by this and we both said that misery is relative.

As it does, after talking constantly for almost 10 days at this point, we did start to be sexual from afar, granted we still haven’t seen each other in person. He would say that he had a “shrimp” and talked about it so much that I started to take him seriously. I told him about my IUD, to which he responded with a very excited GIF. Again, slightly impressed that a man knows what it is, from my experience of men not knowing about female reproductive system, more on that later.

One day, we segued from sexual things to my tub backing up and that I needed Drano. Immediately he said he had some and would bring it over. I gave him my address and in less than ten minutes he appeared at my door. I knew I was a mess but it was the best day for me. We talked briefly through the window and I could see he was tall and skinnier than I thought, but still very handsome. His skin was so tan he looked like he could pass for being black. When it was time for him to go, we placed our hands together through the glass, the most contact we could have right now. He left and I was able to retrieve the Drano. It didn’t end up helping, but it was worth a go and definitely worth seeing him in person.

He told me that he was happy I wasn’t a catfish and that I still looked beautiful. Even with my sickness. After a full week of being sick, I started to feel better and almost normal. My cough decreased, my headaches were better, my fever had been gone since the first couple of days, and although I tired easily, I wasn’t constantly fatigued. I had chest pain and my heart just felt weird, I planned to see a cardiologist as soon as I was cleared. When it came time to be retested, I had high hopes and was so excited to be able to finally spend time with him. However, the world had other plans. I was able to get rapid tested, and unfortunately, I was still coming up positive and the doctor extended my quarantine another week. When I got to my car I called him (not Facetime) and told him what was happening and I cried. He comforted me and said that it would be okay.

In a way, it is lucky my quarantine was extended and that I needed to be retested, as the sickness came back again and a day later I was sicker. I gave him an out one day, I told him that when we matched we never expected I would be getting sick, let alone my quarantine lasting this long. I told him he didn’t need to wait for me, that I would understand if he wanted to see other people.

He continued to say that he is the kind of person that doesn’t give up easily and wanted to stick it out. I was truly not trying to test him, I wanted him to be free if that was what he wanted, but he truly wanted to stay with me.

One night, my chest pain worsened and I was laying in bed, feeling truly like the brink of death was close, struggling to breathe. At midnight, I text him and say I’m scared. I’m afraid to fall asleep because I feel like if I go to sleep I won’t wake up. Always calm, he suggests I get some fresh air and go outside. I follow his idea and after five minutes of fresh air return inside. He continues to comfort me and say he is there for me.

I say I feel better and am finally able to go to sleep.

We are still talking a lot, Facetime multiple times daily. I still don’t have feelings, but he tells me he likes me and is truly very sweet and cares about me a lot. There is one day where we just didn’t talk to each other yet that day, and he texts me, while I call him out for being “needy”:

One day during a Facetime he says “I feel like we’re never going to meet and you’re going to keep finding reasons to blow me off.” I legitimately got mad at the insecurity, he claims he is kidding. I tell him that that kind of attitude actually does piss me off. Although I am not head over heels with him, I definitely want to give it a chance once I can so I can see where it goes. He brought me things another time during my extended quarantine, a clove of garlic because I needed it for some food I was making and had none on hand. Unlike last time, he was on his way somewhere and was running late, therefore didn’t have time to linger around. I didn’t see him and had left my dog out in the yard for him to see, though at the time he showed up, she was hiding and he didn’t get to give her pats.

Days go by, and again I start to feel almost normal, for the second time in my illness. The day comes for my third test. I am terrified. I ask him what if I’m still positive and need to quarantine still. At this point, I’m completely out of PTO at work, in the negative actually, and honestly, my mental health is failing from the isolation. He tells me that I’m going to get a negative test today and to trust. Lo and behold, the negative test finally is here! I’m excited to return to my life, and to a greater extent excited to finally spend time with this man.

We had tentatively planned a date that night, but now we could. I call him immediately after I get back to my car and we plan our first date. He asks if I’m going to be weird or awkward when we're finally in person. He claims that he is different in person; I tell him I hope he isn’t much different because I like the vibes I’ve been getting so far. Our first day occurred finally when we have been talking for 3 weeks. He says he’s on the way. I’m waiting and waiting. He’s in traffic. Jokingly, I repeat the line he said to me about us never going to meet. After all this time, the outs I gave him, it would be funny if after all this he stands me up.

#romance #covid #quarantine #hinge #tinder #bumble #love #relationship #dating #stpete #tampa #tampabay #florida

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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What is a recurring thought on your mind today? lol it’s 5 in the morning and I’m thinking about getting more egg rolls for lunch. I had been craving them for awhile and finally had some last night and now I want more. Have you had any confrontations with anyone lately? No. What is the last charity you donated to? A cancer research charity. Do you feel all fuzzy and good when you do a good deed? It does feel good to do good. Don’t ya just hate foot cramps? I wouldn’t know, but I get stomach cramps and they’re not fun at all, so I imagine a foot cramp isn’t either.

Would you say you have an infectious laugh? I don’t think so. Shouldn’t you be doing something else right now? Sleeping, but c’mon when do I ever go to bed before 7 or 8AM anymore? Do you have anything planned for the summer? Couldn’t do anything this summer. I’m so glad we’re in August though and summer is almost overrrrrr. What is something you worry about often? Health related things. Constantly. Are there any mountains nearby where you live? No. Did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid? No. Do you walk fast or slow? I’m a fast wheeler I’m told. Do you keep birthday cards or throw them out? I keep them. I don’t get very many anymore, though. Would you consider yourself healthy? Both mind and body. Nope, not in any way. Do you play any team sports? Nope. If so, which position do you play? - Does sitting in waiting rooms drive you insane? Yes. I’m very impatient and the waiting just makes me more anxious. What form of public transport do you use most often? I don’t take any public transportation anymore, but I used to take the bus sometimes in college. Would you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie? Ha, no. Do you ever go onto ‘failblog’? I’m not familiar with that. Have you ever been arrested? If so, why? No. Do you ever put sticky notes around the place to remind yourself of things? No. I use the reminder app on my phone and/or write it down on my marker board. Would you eat a spider for $50? Absolutely NOT. Nopeeeeeee. Would you rather be a kangaroo or a koala? Koala, I guess. What is a common slang word from where you live? ”Hella” used to be a very Californian thing, but everyone says it now so I don’t know. Do you keep your fingers on the home keys when you type? I don’t type the proper way. I’ve been on the computer and typing since I was a kid, I even took a typing class, but I still don’t type the proper way haha. How I type works for me, though, sooo. *shrug* Are you easy to talk to? People have told me that. Can you juggle with more than two items? I can’t juggle. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I tried to juggle. Has anyone ever assumed you can’t speak English? No, but people have assumed that I speak Spanish. Do you live in a rural or an urban area? Urban. At airports do you ever worry your luggage won’t arrive? It crossed my mind. Do your parents ever call you ‘pet’ or ‘sweetheart’ etc? Not those two specifically, but other terms of endearment. We have our own that we’ve made up for each other as well. If so, does it annoy you? No, not at all. Do you like jalapenos? I loved ‘em, but I can’t eat spicy food anymore. :( What other windows have you currently got opened? Just this one. What woke you up this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but when I get up it’ll be well past morning. I don’t even go to bed until the morning. :/ Who else is in the same building as you? My parents, brother, and doggo are home as well. Would you like a penny farthing bicycle? A what? Your name? Stephanie. Would you ever consider visiting Ireland? Sure. Would you like to visit Venice? Yes. Did you ever eat leaves when you were a kid? Uh, no. I wasn’t the kid who played in leaf piles or played with/ate dirt or anything. What is the largest body of water near your hometown? California is near the Pacific. Do you have any flags in your house? Yes. Are there any ‘keep off the grass’ signs where you live? Not in my neighborhood that I know of, but yeah some public places in town do. Have you ever walked on the grass with such a sign? No. Are you double-jointed? My thumbs are. At school which area of science did you prefer: biology/chemistry/physics? I managed to get by in science, but it wasn’t my favorite. Which did you prefer between geography/history? History. Have you ever had a main part in a play? No. Are there any musical instruments in the room you’re in? No. Can you name a difference between RNA and DNA? Uhhh. I’m blanking. Do you know anyone who owns a farm? No. Have you ever driven a tractor? No. Does the smell of the countryside bother you? It’s quite pungent, ha. I guess if you live out there you get used to it, but anytime I drive through the country I just gag. Do you drink more water or juice? Water. I don’t drink juice at all.

Sweater weather or tank top weather? Which do you prefer. Sweater weather, most definitely. Have you ever kissed a Zachary? No. Do you hate when people try to embarrass you? Uh, well yeah. Do you like in October when a bunch of haunted places open up? I don’t go to any, but yeah. I just love spooky season in general. Did you tell someone you loved them today? Not so far. Do you watch the show Ghost Adventures? No. My dad watches it, though, so I’ve seen parts of it here and there. What color are your curtains in your bedroom? Dark blue. Are you superstitious? I do the knock on wood thing, but I think that’s really just out of habit. Is there a cat in the room you’re in right now? No, I don’t have a cat. What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekend? I don’t do anything different from weekdays. All my days are the same. Do you have your license? No. Do you still watch cartoons? I still watch Rugrats, Doug, and Hey Arnold. And animated movies. Do you like to cook? Only ramen. Do you drink? Nope. Do you smoke? Nope. Where do you buy your clothes? Hot Topic, Boxlunch, Adidas website, and Kohl’s. Do you enjoy going to the movies? Yes. I miss being able to go. Are you still in school? Nopeeee, I’m done. Do you like cupcakes? Yes.

What makes you sad? A lot of things. I’m also just a sad, sleepy, sensitive soul as I like to say. Are you an animal lover? Yes. Are you hot-headed? I’m not quick to anger, but I do get irritated and frustrated quite easily. Do you have any siblings? I have 2 brothers. Are you afraid of snakes? YES. Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a doggo. <3 What color are your eyes? Brown. How bout your hair? I dye it red, but it’s naturally dark brown. How tall are you? Like 5′4. Who do you live with? My parents, brother, and doggo. Is there anything you want to ask anyone right now? No. Do you have kids? No. Do you love your family? Yes. They’re my world. What color hair do you prefer on the gender of your choice? I don’t really care. How bout eye color? Blue and green eyes are gorgeous. Do you have a job? If so, what? No. What is your dream job? I don’t have one. :/ What did you “wanna be” when you were a little kid? A teacher. What’s your favorite kind of movie? Psychological thrillers, horror, drama, romcoms, comedy, some action/adventure, /sci-fi... I like a variety. Are you gay, straight, bi, lesbian, asexual, or not sure? Straight. What kind of music is your favorite? I like variety. Do you play any instruments or sing? What kind? No. Have you ever been to a concert? If so, what was your favorite one? Yeah, several. I enjoyed them all, concerts are just awesome. It’s a cool experience. Are you more negative or more positive? Negative. Well, for myself. I can be positive for others. Have you ever been depressed? I have chronic depression. How are you feeling, dear? Tired and crappy. Mhm and how’s the weather where you’re at? It’s 6AM and it’s already 64F. Okay and have you been healthy lately? No. Are you in middle school, high school, college, graduate? I’m done with school. What is/was your favorite class? English was always my favorite and then in college I was able to take psych courses, which is also what I majored in, so I liked those. Have you made any life altering decisions lately? No. Where is your favourite place to get pizza? This local place.

Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? My hair.

What is the closest store to you? A grocery store. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? Not at the moment. Have you made a CV? No. I had to Google what a CV was. Where is the last place you applied for a job? (If you have) I haven’t. Are you photogenic? Nope. Are there any concert venues where you live? Yes. Are you annoyed at anyone these days? I’m always annoyed with myself. Which continent would you most like to travel to and why? Europe. There’s a ton of places I’d like to visit. Have you ever/would you ever do volunteer work? I’ve done a lot of volunteer work. Do you know anyone that has died in a road accident? No. Do you know which career path you want to follow? No. Are there a lot of tourists where you live? No. There’s not shit to do or see of interest here. My state is a touristy state, though. Any plans for your next birthday? This year I obviously just stayed home, but my family made it nice. My brother got me coffee, breakfast, and a coffee cake from my favorite place, my mom, brother, and I watched this new creepy movie, You Should Have Left, then we just hung out until dinnertime, which was my fave, Wingstop, and then I opened presents.

Do you have to use public transport often? Not at all anymore, but when I was in college I had to take the bus sometimes. Does your house have an alarm? Yes. Have you ever asked someone out on a date? No. Whose grave did you last visit? My dog, Brandie, is buried in our backyard. My dad made a really nice gravesite for her. What’s something someone can do that makes you melt? A guy that can play the piano. What are you listening to right now? An ASMR video If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? The first thing after paying off debts would be a new house for my family and I. What’s your greatest fear? Death, disease, bugs, clusters. <<<< SAME. Gaaaaah the last one just made my skin crawl from seeing the word. Those are just a few of many fears for me. Has anyone upset you in the last week? Yes. What’s the best thing about you? I like my cheesy, corny sense of humor. What’s your favorite drink? Coffee. What are you going to do tomorrow? Same stuff I do everyday. What are you craving? I want more egg rolls like I had last night. How did you sleep last night? I don’t ever feel like I slept well. I never wake up feeling well rested. Does that really happen for people cause I can’t relate.

What was the first thing you thought this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet.

If your favorite food gave you pain, made you have acne, etc., would you still eat it? I’d just have to eat it less often and less of it. Unless it made me really sick or something or was very intense and unpleasant. Like I can’t have spicy food at all anymore except for the weak hot sauce that has like less than 2% of anything, but even that I can only have a little bit of. I can’t drench my food in it, just light dips. It sucks cause I used to be obsessed with spicy food, and I used to eat really spicy stuff.

Have you ever been judged on something you wore? Yeah.

Are you a timid person? Yes.

Think QUICK what word begins with c? Coffee!

Are you a funny person? I think I have my funny moments and now and then and trust me, when they happen I make sure to own ‘em cause they’re rare haha. Be honest, do you go for looks more or personality? Personality is the most important, looks only go so far. Personality goes on a much deeper level and who a person is matters a lot more to me than their looks. That being said, I can’t say looks don’t matter at all. I also want to add that a good personality can add to someone’s attractiveness.

Ever been so upset but didn’t understand why? Yeah. I get these moody moods that are sometimes triggered, but there’s a lot of times where they seem to just come on out of nowhere. I suppose it’s the depression, but like I can be having a decent day and then suddenly I’ll feel my mood changing and nothing in that moment changed that would seem to cause the sudden change. I just feel it coming on and once it does, I can’t stop it. My emotions very much control me.

Are you a flirty person? No. I can be if I’m interested in someone and I’m comfortable around them enough to be flirty. Though, it’s probably subtle.

Are you homophobic? No.

Ever had a rumor spread about you? No.

Has anyone ever pulled your pants down in public? Nooo.

Ever had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with your parents? Yeah.

How would you react if someone said you ruined their life? Wow. I would feel extremely bad and shitty to say the least.

Are you a sympathetic person? Yes. I’m also very empathetic.

Ballet dance or hip hop dance? If I could, I would have tried hip hop. What’s currently bothering you right now? My stomach.

What is the most athletic you’ve done? When I had to participate in my adaptive PE classes. That’s literally the only time.

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for? I don’t have those kinds of feelings for anyone at the moment.

Do you like to drink herbal tea? Yeah, now and then. I’m not a big tea drinker.

If you’re home alone, do you still close/lock the door when you use the bathroom? No.

What your favorite thing to have on toast? Butter.

Has anyone ever hung up on you? Yeah, but only like telemarketers and wrong numbers.

Have you ever been to a concert? Several. Hasn’t this come up a couple times? Maybe I’m getting the surveys confused, I’m tired.

Can you speak more than one language? If so, what other language(s)? Not fluently, just some Spanish.

Are you talking to anyone right now? No.

If so, how do you feel about them? -

Do you know anyone who skateboards? Not anymore.

Do you ever sing when you’re alone? Yeah.

What’s the stupidest song you’ve listened to today? I have’t listened to any stupid songs. I don’t listen to music I’d consider stupid. Are you listening to music, currently? No.

How do you feel about the song? - When someone teases you do you frown or give an amazing comeback? My family and I playfully tease each other and sometimes I’ll come up with something funny and clever to say, but there’s times where I’m just like -____- and say like, “har-har very funny” haha or something lame like that. Do you think you can sing? I know I can’t sing well at all, but I still like to anyway to myself.

Do you have any talent? No.

Do you think you’re better looking than some other people? No.

Do you like dancing? I like head bobbing and moving my shoulders/arms/hands, ha. And sometimes I attempt (very badly) to do some TikTok dances haha. Privately, though. I’d never recored myself and share it with the public, major yikes.

What’s your favorite zoo animal? Giraffes.

How is your hair currently styled? It’s up in a messy bun.

How long are your showers (on average)? Like 30-40 minutes.

East or West? West.

What did you do last night? Binged some Step by Step on Hulu until 1AM-ish, then I made my ramen and watched some YouTube videos while I ate, then I played some Animal Crossing for a bit, and then I scrolled through Tumblr for awhile, and then I did some surveys and listened to ASMR, which is what I’m still doing now.

Do you like your music loud? I like it at a comfortable volume. Some songs I have a little louder than others, just depends.

What are you allergic to? Tangerines. I also have seasonal allergies.

Do you ever stay up late just to be awake I have insomnia, but yeah I do stay up later than I should. Like, I could attempt sleep a little sooner than I do.

What do you want to name your children? I don’t want to have kids.

Would you ever write a letter to someone you haven’t met yet, like your future spouse? Nah.

Did the last movie you watched make you cry? No. It was a psychological thriller, it was trippy.

Are you a good swimmer? Nope, I can’t swim.

What are you always thinking about? Health stuff.

Is science your favorite subject? Well, psychology is a science. When you’re really worked up, what do you do to relax? Listen to ASMR.

Would you rather spend the day watching movies or on an intense hike? Uh, watching movies. Definitely. I can’t go hiking anyway, but I wouldn’t want to do anything intense or outdoors.

Did you ever try the cereal Special K? Yeah, there’s nothing special about it.

Think of the last person you kissed, was it memorable? Yeah.

You have the choice of being poor but happy, or rich but miserable. Which is it? Poor and happy.

Do you think girls with short hair are less good looking than those with long hair? Uh, no? There’s a lot of beautiful people with short hair and there’s a lot of beautiful people with long hair.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

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undergroundkid · 4 years

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Prologue: Once we pass the gate

You nervously gripped your purse, trying to take a deep breath. Well, it’s not like it’s your first job interview, right? You worked before. As a camp counselor when you were sixteen for example. Tough work with kids not so much younger than you. And you handed out flyers for this new pizza place last summer. Small works for neighbours counted too? You looked at CV in your hands with furrowed brows. Well, you didn’t put such information there.. under what category would it belong? Experience? Volunteering?

CV was almost empty. Basic informations, address, phone number.. looking at this, someone could think you didn’t do anything last few years. Graduated high school, did two courses at city’s Job Center and that would be all. You were thinking about putting something about college, but your mother advised you against it. „Do you want them to see you gave up?”, she said. You didn’t give up, you just left, because college became living hell – no friends, no interesting lessons, only slow suffocation. Without future plans, you started to look for a job, but you became a victim of a obvious, old cycle: no experience, no job – no job, no experience. Until now. Building on the opposite side of the street looked fancy even outside. Big glass doors with golden knobs, four floors, red curtains in the windows. Cars parked outside were definitely one of the best and newest models. People came in and out all the time, making the street pretty busy. It started to get dark already, so the sign above main door suddenly came alive with a bright light: Shangri-La Hotel****. Small voice at the back of your head suggested it’s time to come inside already. Yeah, of course. It’s cool. Your whole existence screamed it’s definetely not a place for someone like you, but you’re not gonna waste your chance for a decent work – why the heck they called you, anyway? For lolz, maybe? Surely not for your resume, so.. You crossed the road before your mind could register your movement. Squished between group of businessmen, you finally entered the place and barely could stop your jaw from dropping; it was a mistake. Golden chandeliers, deep brown wood, carpet in the richest red colour. And people around - ladies in elegant furs, gentlemen with leather briefcases. - Excuse me, do you need help? You tore your eyes from gawking at surroundings to meet a friendly, smiley face; young man in dark blue uniform kindly bowed his head. - You look lost, young lady. Can I offer my service? - Ah, yes, sorry – you bowed automatically too, even if it wasn’t really necessary. He smiled again, not full teeth, but it reached his eyes, making him more charming. That was when you noticed his bellboy cap and name Yoonho written in pretty cursive on his ID. Of course there would be a freakin hotel porter. - I am looking for a reception’s manager – you informed him, going straight to the point of your obviously unfitting presence in luxurious hall:- I was supposed to have a job interview today, at 6 PM. He smiled widely this time and you couldn’t resist the urge to do the same. - Oh, I see! Please, come with me then! * You left the building on little shaky, but otherwise light legs. Looking around, you didn’t catch the person you were eagerly looking for, so you quickly fished the cellphone out of your purse and clicked the numer with signature heart at the end. - Hey, you were supposed to wait for me outside hotel? - Yeah, I know love – your boyfriend’s voice was a little muffled with street sounds in the background:- But there was a horrible car incident in the city centre and the traffic is endless . Sorry about that, I am just getting out of my district. Didn’t you hear? - Oh, not really – you murmured, poorly hiding your disappointment:- I just came out of interview and was too nervous to watch any TV before.. - It happened about an hour ago, so it’s understandable – he sighed:- Some woman crashed her car on the main bridge. She was the only victim, but there were a lot of other vehicles included, so it’s a mess. - I see – you responded, crossing the road like earlier:- We won’t see each other tonight, then? - Oh no, no! We must meet! I want to hear about your freshly new career. You got it, right? You giggled, even if deep down you felt some kind of irritation. „Without college, you must find a job” was a phrase you’re used to hear almost everyday. Still, it didn’t stop to irk you everytime you heard it. Of course, your loved ones only meant the best, you knew it. Parents lived in their own world, thinking that without futher education you won’t make it far, but your boyfriend was always supportive. Last months though, he became more forcible on the topic. He even suggested you were purposely avoiding any possibility of work during one of more heated arguments you two had, but he apologised afterwards. Couples fight after all, you reasoned – it was just a bump on the road. You started dating back in highschool, scoring all the firsts together – first sweetheart, first kiss, first I love you. Something as trival as work won’t tear you apart. It’s just this, work – you will make money somehow anyway, why is everybody so pushy about it? But maybe you’re just chilldish and they’re trying to take care of you. With bitter taste in your mouth, you will fulfill their wish of you getting stale position. Maybe that will make their nagging stop. Maybe that will make you happy it the end, too. - Yeah – you breathed with relief, the air from your lungs visible in the chilly evening:- 3 months of mandatory contract, then full time employment. The happy scream of your boyfriend from earphone could be easily heard by random strangers passing by; they gave you surprised looks, which made you shrug your shoulders in response. - Congratulations babe! I am so happy for you! You really tried to not think happy for me or happy for yourself? - I knew you could do it, you’re the smartest girl and somebody finally noticed – he continued, which made your heart flutter. You shouldn’t be so hard on him, he was so lovely and caring as usual:- You’re totally gonna nail this. Isn’t that a perfect beginning? Look, maybe we’re going to be able to move out and rent a flat next year! As always when he mentioned living together, the butterflies tickled your whole body. It was a scary vision at first, leaving your parents, but now it only excited you; wall colours of your own choice, breakfasts together, bubble bath surprises, loud, explicit nights and silent, sweet mornings. Every girl’s dream. Alright, maybe you started to feel happiness about it all. And blooming hope for a better future, despite everyone insulting your choice of living. - We have to celebrate then! - Oh? – you chuckled, this time from the heart:- Should I buy wine or something? Champagne? - The plan may include those, but not only. Get your sweet ass here, we must dance as much as we can before your busy schedule begin. - Here? I thought only two of us, my place ..? - Tempting, I admit. But not today. Come on babe, it’s Friday night and you got your first real job! Let’s livin’ it up, we will become adults tomorrow! Or.. Monday if you allow, huh? You laughed at his antics, so opposing to his previous behaviour. It was refreshing and made you think you should start jobhunting with more confidence sooner. His positive attitude was infecting you too; so before you could think otherwise, you agreed to meet at your usual party spot. The stars shined brightly above you, even in this part of the town. Or maybe your free heart just made them look so – it didn’t matter. It was gonna be a long night and it was better for a stars to shine strong enough to witness it all.

thank you for reading

next chapter >

#My writing #shangri-la fc #monsta x fanfic #monsta x reader #monsta x imagines

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cilldaracailin · 4 years

Text

A Kind Of Magic

Thanks so much for all the lovely Tumblr love :) Here is some more for you all :)

“Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”

“Robyn I didn’t think I would ever say this to you but we are going to be late if you don’t hurry up!”

Taron put his brown patterned short sleeved shirt on over his black tank top, pulling it down, wincing as he did so, forgetting that his right side was very sore. He fanned the material out so it sat right on him and then sat on the bed to put his converse on. Robyn had been awake and up since seven after another restful night’s sleep, both staying to their sides of the bed during the night., Taron dozing a little longer until Robyn threw a wet towel on top of him. He showered while she made them a real quick breakfast of fruit, yogurt and granola, Taron having two cups of coffee to try and wake himself up, while Robyn got ready for work. He had slept for another glorious eight hours and was finally starting to feel more like himself hence why he moved to quick or fast, the injured part of his body protesting.

Before work Robyn had her appointment to get her stitches out and she was bringing Taron with her, so he could make his own appointment and he was waiting for her so they could make the surgery on time at nine.

With a groan he tied his shoelaces and stood up, cringing again but two hands kept him steady as his eyes closed for a second while he gained his balance.

“Did you take your pain killers?” Asked Robyn. She had watched him stand up too quickly as she left the bathroom and moved to support him with her hands on his waist.

“Yeah I did. They just take a while to… Whoa Robyn.” Taron had to take a step back, Robyn’s hands falling him as he took in her appearance. For the last two days, she had been wearing shorts and t-shirts and he had seen her in a smart casual work outfit but now she was dressed in a royal blue pants suit with a v-neck white top underneath, her hair pulled back in a low sleep ponytail. “Wow.” He repeated.

“Is it ok?” She asked him as she watched his eyes widen. “I have an important meeting this afternoon.”

Taron could feel those butterflies starting to appear again as he looked at Robyn, the chic suit hugging her curves in all the right places and he had to swallow the lump he felt in this throat.

“I feel so overdressed. I mean I have my work clothes but at the same time I work in a bloody creche so this is very much overkill but we have a serious reputation to uphold and we need the funding. That’s what the meeting is for. We want to overhaul our garden for the children but need funding to do it, so after lunch I have to go and meet the county childcare committee to discuss it.”

“No converse?” Was the only thing Taron could manage to say, noticing that she almost matched his height, whereas before Robyn’s head came to his chin.

“Ugh no. Heels.” She lifted the flared pant leg and showed him the platform blue t-bar heels she was wearing. “Bloody hate them but need to make an impression again. Got the funding last time so pulling out all the stops this time. It is ok right? Not too much?”

Taron shook his head. “No Robyn, it is perfect. You look…” Taron wasn’t too sure he could use the word ‘stunning’ but he very much wanted too. “… Very professional. I would definitely give you the money.”

“Thank you.” She took the step closer to him, admiring another pattern shirt that Taron owned. “I like this shirt. In fact, I love this shirt. You and print go so well together Taron.” She fixed the collar for him, pulling it out from the left side of his neck where it was curled under. “You ok? You’re quiet this morning.” She asked as she flatted down the collar, running her hands down his shirt, smoothing it out against his chest. Her fingers lightly touched the skin of his chest that was not covered by the material of his low-cut tank top underneath his shirt, his chest hair soft under her fingers.

“Yeah just feeling a bit sore.” He answered hoping it covered the shakiness in his voice, as his skin tingled where she left feather light touches. “You ready to go?”

“Yep.” She walked out of the bedroom, her heels clip clopping on the hardwood floors. “Phone, keys, purse and a Taron.” She turned and smiled his way. “Ok, let’s go.”

Together they walked out of the front door, Robyn punching in the alarm and locking the door behind her and into the early morning heat.

“Another beautiful day.” She said as she unlocked the car.

“Oh shit, my hat.” Said Taron suddenly after he had opened the car door. He had remembered his phone and his wallet but not his trusty hat.

“Your hat?”

“Yeah. Do you mind if I go back in and get it?”

“Your hat?” She questioned again.

“Yeah my hat Robyn. I just like to wear it in public places. Ya know.” He hoped she understood what he meant as raised an eyebrow to her.

“Sure, yeah of course.”

She unlocked the door for him and turned off the alarm, allowing Taron in to get his hat. He was back in second, his black hat on his head. “Thank you.” Robyn locked the house back up and the two got into the car.

“The doctors is actually beside where I work, Won’t take long at all.”

“Can you drive in heels?” He asked as he pulled down his hat further on his forehead.

“Yeah, even though I don’t wear them very often. I am very much a converse girl at heart. Are you sure you are ok Taron? You are really really quiet.”

What had started out as butterflies at seeing Robyn dressed up now had turned to slight anxiety at leaving her house, especially after speaking to Lyndsey about the media finding out what had happened. Although Robyn lived in a small town, news travelled fast through social media and he was nervous about leaving the comfort of her home. He felt Robyn take his hand as she drove down the small road once out of her drive.

“Don’t be worrying Taron. It’s in and out of the doctor’s office and then back here and you shall have the freedom to route through my house when I am not there.”

Taron felt a smile fill his face. “The whole house?”

“I have nothing to hide.” She said as she took her hand from his and back on the steering wheel so she could take a left turn. “Full access to my music, piano and treat press.”

“Treat press?”

“I have to keep some things secret. Can’t show you all my tricks on the first few days! You still have to see the pizza oven and projector screen.”

“Wait what?”

“You can try and find them when I am at work today.”

Taron’s mood lifted again as Robyn waited at the traffic lights, the woman sitting beside him, once again the reason why his apprehensions were eased beyond doubt.

“I will be doing that.”

“Go ahead. Like I said I have nothing to hide.”

“Even in your bedroom?” He looked at her raising an eyebrow.

“Especially in the bedroom.” She answered back.

It only took Robyn three minutes to drive to and park at the medical centre where the doctors was. Together they walked into the reception and waiting area, Robyn speaking to the receptionist at the glass window, while Taron stood close beside her, his hat low on his forehead as he tried to avoid looking at the patients waiting to be seen by the doctor.

“Great thanks.” Robyn finished speaking with the receptionist and turned to Taron. “We just have to wait a few minutes. They are running a little behind. Let’s go and sit.”

Robyn made her way to the seats down to the right from the reception window and sat down, crossing her legs, Taron following and sitting to her right. “It’ll just be a few minutes.” She repeated to him, taking the magazine from the chair next to her, flicking it open to look at the pictures.

“That’s ok.” Taron kept his eyes on his hands which he knotted together on his lap, his fingers nervously twisting around each other. The doctor’s surgery was cool but he could still feel beads of moisture pooling at the back of his neck and under the brim of his hat as his body started to break out in a little sweat.

“Hey Taron. Relax.” He felt her hand on his knee, stopping his legs from shaking. “It’s just the doctors.” Robyn had watched Taron’s body language quickly changed as he sat beside her, his head low and his hands fidgeting. It was when his left leg starting to shake that Robyn reached over to stop it from doing so, taking his hand in hers. “It’s not the hospital and it’s just a check-up. Once we’re done, you’re going straight back home to chill out and relax and sleep and I will be right there with you tonight.” She linked her fingers with his. “I will be with you the whole time here too.”

Taron wrapped his two hands around Robyn’s right one gently as he knew her hand was still slightly sore and bruised, leaving her left hand free to flick through the pages of the magazine on her lap, his eyes looking over her shoulder as she flipped the pages but she quickly closed the magazine over and threw it back on the chair where she had gotten it from.

“I hate those gossip magazines,” She said simply when he looked at her from under the peak of his hat. “I never buy them and never read them.” She placed her other hand on top of his. “You ok?”

“Yeah. Just got a little uneasy for a minute.”

“It’s completely logical Taron. The last time you were in a medical facility, it was a scary situation. I am sure it is bringing back some awful memories for you. I know I won’t be able to go near a 7/11 again.”

Taron laughed a little. “I will never go near a 7/11 again.”

“CVS or Walgreens from now on.” Agreed Robyn.

“How do you always know what I am thinking?” He asked.

“Woman’s intuition?” She suggested, getting a small laugh from him. “It’ll be a quick visit.”

“Yep I know.” Taron looked at her, the blue of the suit making her eyes stand out. “I like this colour on you.”

“Thank you. Fashion says certain body types can’t wear colour but whatever.”

Taron turned so he could look at her. “Hey if I followed that rule, I would be wearing black all the time. I love a bit of colour and certain body types? Are me and you going to have that conversation again right now? You pull this suit off beautifully.”

Robyn gave his hands a squeeze. “Thank you Taron.”

“Hi Robyn!”

She looked away from his piercing green eyes when she heard a voice excitedly call her name.

“Hey Beth!” She called back as a little girl with red hair came running to her arms open for a hug. Robyn, uncrossed her legs, took her hands away from Taron’s and accepted the squeeze the child gave her.

“Hi Taron!” The little girl opened her arms for a hug from Taron too and he hesitated looking to Robyn who gave him a nod before returning the light hug.

“Are you sick?” Asked Beth moving to stand beside Robyn. “And I like your suit. My daddy wears a suit but I love your suit. My daddy only had black suits, not blue ones like yours. You look very pretty Robyn.”

“Why thank you Beth and no I am not sick.”

“Is Taron sick?”

“No, he isn’t sick either.”

“David is sick. Mammy has to bring him to the doctor cos he has sore teeth.”

“Oh no poor David.”

“I will be late to creche today but Mammy says I will be there for snack. Will you be there for snack too?”

Robyn smiled. “Yes, I will. I might even come upstairs and have snack with you.”

“Ohh please! That would be fun and Taron, you can have snack with us too. It’s fruit and yogurt today.”

Taron smiled at the little girl. “Thank you Beth. Do you know that fruit and yogurt are my favourite?”

“Really? Mine too.”

“Beth!” A lady with hair the same colour as Beth’s came over with a toddler in her arms. “Robyn I am so sorry. She saw you and I told her to leave you be but I guess she came over anyway.”

“It’s ok Margaret. She’s just having a chat.”

“Robyn isn’t sick and Taron isn’t either but David is sick, isn’t he mammy.”

“Beth, please. Let’s leave Robyn alone. She doesn’t need you bothering her.”

Robyn saw the embarrassment creep into her mother’s eyes. “Margaret it’s ok, honestly. We love to have chats in crèche, don’t we Beth.”

“And hugs!” Added the little girl. “Do you like Robyn’s hugs Taron? Robyn always lets us give her hugs in the office.”

“I do like Robyn’s hugs Beth. She gives good ones.” Replied Taron, lifting his hat a little, so as well as looking at the little girl in front of him, he could catch Robyn’s eyes too, enjoying the small side glance she gave him.

“They are very cuddly. I like them.”

“Beth come on. Let’s leave Robyn and her friend be now. You got to say hello.”

“Ok mammy.” She turned to look to Robyn. “I will see you at snack time?” She asked hopefully.

“Yes you will. I will come upstairs to see you.”

“Yeah!” Cried Beth excitedly giving Robyn another hug.

“Ok Beth lets go. Thank you Robyn.”

Robyn gave Beth a wave as she made her way with her mother and little brother to the other side of the surgery sitting down with their backs to Robyn and Taron.

“You are so good with children you look after Robyn.” Taron took her hand again. “You just have this way with them and it is pure kindness and a gentleness. It reminds me of how you were with me in the 7/11, how you still are with me. When you speak to someone, they are the most important person in the room to you at that time. No wonder all those kids adore you.”

“Robyn Quinn?”

Robyn felt her heart flutter as Taron spoke but she looked away from him and to the receptionist who called her name through the glass window.

“Robyn, Doctor Greene will see you now. Taron can go with you too. He said that’s fine.”

She turned back to Taron with a smile. “That’s me and you.” She stood up keeping Taron’s hand in hers. “Doctor Greene has been my doctor since I was a kid and I will be with you the whole time.” Holding onto his hand, she helped Taron to his feet, his hand moving to his side as he stood up. “Why does it seem those ribs are not getting any better.”

“It’s just when I stand up. The movement hurts a lot.”

Robyn linked her arm with Taron’s and they walked towards the door that led to the corridor towards the doctor’s rooms.

“Room number four Robyn.” Called the receptionist. “Same as always.”

“Thanks Joan.” She pushed opened the swing door and headed towards the door with the number four on the outside. Stopping outside, she gently rapped on the door with her knuckles.

“Come on in.”

Robyn gave Taron an encouraging look as she opened the door.

“Robyn Quinn. It has been a long time since I have seen you in here.” Doctor Greene was a jolly dark-haired man in his late forties and met Robyn with a hug and smile. “You look fabulous!”

Robyn smiled. “Thanks Tony. You know how it is, meetings and what not.” She stepped back to Taron who was waiting apprehensively behind her. “This is Taron.”

“Good to meet you Taron.” Said the doctor as he shook his hand, Taron nodding in response.

“Here to get some stitches out Robyn?” He asked as he indicated for her to sit down on the chair. “Taron you can hop up onto the bed there and then I can give you a quick check over too.”

Robyn, left her keys, purse and phone on the doctor’s desk and waited with Taron until he was settled sitting on the edge of the bed, another hiss coming from his lips, his hands moving to his side once again. She took her suit jacket off and gave it to Taron to hold. “You mind?” She asked.

“Not at all.” He said taking her jacket from him and holding it on his lap, the faint smell of perfume filling his senses.

Robyn then took a seat on the chair as she was asked moving it so she was closer to Taron, knowing he was nervous about being anywhere near a doctor again, his hand within reach of hers.

“Right let’s have a look.” Doctor Greene pulled his chair over behind Robyn. “So, Miss Quinn, back from your adventures then?”

“Yeah I am.”

“Looks like you had some adventure.” Doctor Greene moved the small string of her top to the side of her left arm so he could carefully pull the dressing from her shoulder and examined the two stitches. “These are ready to come Robyn. It will take me two minutes. You will feel a light pinch.”

“Great.” She looked up to Taron, who had taken his hat off and left it beside him on the bed. She could see that nicely styled hair he had made an effort with that morning was now flat against his forehead but not for long as he ran two hands through his hair, nerves still fizzing through him. She reached over and placed a calming hand on his knee. “Breathe.” She whispered his way, looking at him, Taron giving her the smallest of smiles, one that took a lot of strength to muster up.

“What on earth did you get up to Robyn? Looks like you and Taron have been through hell.” Doctor Greene hadn’t missed how his patient had moved to place her hand on the man’s knee who sat anxiously on the bed as he pulled on some gloves.

“Just in the wrong place at the wrong time Tony.”

“Sounds like you alright Robyn.” He replied. “This one here has always been a bit of a trouble maker.” Doctor Greene looked to Taron. “Gave her mother and father a good few heart attacks as a kid.”

“And we don’t need to go into detail about…” Robyn stopped talking with a grimace as the doctor eased the first stitch out, an exhale of pain leaving her lips.

“Robyn?” It was the first time Taron had spoken since he walked into the doctor office, his hand taking hers from his knee, not liking how her eyebrows furrowed with the slight pain she felt.

“Sorry Robyn.” Apologised the doctor.

“Light pinch?” She offered wincing as the second stitch was taken out. “I’m ok Taron. Just not prepared for that.” She looked to him as he held her hand, worry etched in his eyes.

“All done. I am going to cover this Robyn and I want you to keep it covered for another week. Don’t put pressure on the wound or lay on your shoulder either.”

“I am not looking forward to getting mine out.” Admitted Taron as he held Robyn’s hand tightly in his. “Not after seeing your reaction. I have a lot more than you.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” She said looking at him.

“Right ok. So, you didn’t give my hand an extra tight squeeze when the doctor took the second stitch out?”

“Maybe.”

“Robyn your body feels a little warm. No signs of a cold of flu in the past few days?” Asked Doctor Greene as he fixed the strap of her top.

“Tony we’re in the middle of a bloody heat wave at the moment. I think everyone is feeling a little extra warm.” Robyn stood up and turned to look at the doctor. “Thank you.” Taron handed her back her suit jacket, but Robyn didn’t put it on, leaving it on the bed beside him. Her top was tucked neatly into her trousers and it was a shaped top Taron hadn’t seen her wear yet and the V-neck only flattered her figure, Taron’s nerves turning again to butterflies. She stood beside him. “Right your turn.”

“Yes indeed.” Doctor Greene came over to stand beside the two. “So, Taron. Robyn explained to Joan at reception that you have your own set of stitches and a head wound that needs to be checked over.”

“It’s only been nine days since I got my stitches in but because I am staying with Robyn I just wanted to see when I would need to get them out because I would be here and not at home and make an appointment to do so.”

“Yeah sure that’s no problem at all. I can have a look for you. The stitches are here?” Asked the doctor as he gently took Taron’s right arm, seeing the white dressing under the sleeve of his shirt. Taron nodded. “Ok well let’s get this shirt off you first and then you can lay back on the bed for me and I can examine your head and arm.”

Taron moved to take his shirt off but stopped with a grunt and wince. “Hey, let me.” Robyn took over from Taron’s hands and eased the shirt over his shoulders and down his back carefully, lifting his left arm first so she could slip the material off before moving in front of him and slid his shirt fully off his right arm, leaving him in his black tank top. She folded it neatly and placed it on top of her jacket on the bed.

“Thanks Robyn.”

“Any time.” She placed her hand on his left shoulder.

“Finding it hard to move Taron?” Asked Doctor Greene as he watched his face frown as Robyn very cautiously took his shirt off, Taron allowing her to do it with no question.

“My ribs are a little tender.” He answered. “They are very bruised. Makes my movements a little slower but sometimes I forget and move too fast.”

“Well let’s have a look at you. Pop your legs up and shuffle back for me.”

Robyn lifted their clothes and left them on the chair she was sitting on before turning back to Taron. He had already lifted his legs up onto the bed and was gradually moving back bit by bit until he was able to lay back on the bed. Robyn gently sat down at his legs, placing a hand on his knee, staying out of the way so Doctor Greene could examine him properly.

Taron closed his eyes, concentrating on Robyn’s presence at his legs as the doctor placed his hands on his forehead. “Your head is healing really well Taron. I am going to leave the steri-strips though. It still needs some more time to knit together. I am going to look at this cheek now.”

A ringing phone interrupted the silence as Doctor Greene looked at the bruising on Taron’s face.

“Shit sorry.” Robyn moved from the bed and picked up her ringing phone from the desk, her work calling her. “Taron, I need to take this call.”

“Robyn?” He opened his eyes and lifted his head.

She moved to stand at his legs again. “I will literally be two minutes. It’s Emma and probably about the meeting this afternoon. I will be right outside the door. Ok?”

“Yeah ok.”

She gave his knee a light squeeze. “Two minutes.” She repeated before answering the phone call and leaving Taron with the doctor.

“She is a fire cracker that Robyn.”

“Yes, she is.” Agreed Taron closing his eyes as the doctor carefully turned his face to the left.

“You two known each other long?” Asked Doctor Greene as he pressed his fingers delicately as Taron’s cheek, stopping when his patient jerked as he hit a very tender spot. “Sorry Taron. You really got a beating, didn’t you?”

“Glass candles and a shelf.” Doctor Greene stopped, confused so Taron continued. “Robyn and I were caught in the middle of a store robbery and a shelving unit full of glass candles was pushed over and I just happened to be behind the shelf. Also got shot in the arm with a bullet.”

“Lovely. It’s just going to take time for the bruises to heal. They are going to be awfully painful for a while. You were in Florida with Robyn?” Asked the Doctor as he moved to Taron’s arm.

“I only met Robyn in Florida in the shop that was robbed. She came to help me.” The doctor stopped unravelling the bandage on his arm. Taron saw the same surprised in this doctor’s face that he had seen in everybody else’s who found out he had literally known Robyn for over a week. “We’ve kind of bonded over something unfortunate.” Taron didn’t explain any further. Not everyone needed to know the extent of what Robyn had done for him.

“Let me guess, she went head first into helping you without question?” Taron nodded, watching as the doctor placed a hand under his upper arm to inspect the stitches, his thumb brushing over the edge of the wound. “Been like that since she was little. Never one to step back in a crisis.”

“I see you are breaking all boundaries of patient doctor confidentially Tony.” Robyn walked back into the room, less than a minute after she had left, walking over to the two men. “Taron doesn’t need to hear about those accounts of childhood days gone by.” She moved to sit at his legs again.

“Don’t worry Robyn. I won’t say a word.” Grinned the doctor.

“Everything ok with work?” Asked Taron, trying not to show how relieved he was that Robyn was back sitting beside him.

“Yep all good. The time of my meeting had been changed and Emma just wanted to let me know. It’s at twelve now instead of three. So Tony, how does he look?”

“The stitches will have to stay in for a few more days. You said you have had them for nine days?”

“Yep. Since last Saturday.”

“Ok well let’s give it to the end of the week Taron. Same as your head, you are healing well but that wound is still a little raw. If you come back to me on Friday, those stitches will be ready to come out and I can change the steri-strips on your head too. Robyn I am sure you can make the appointment for him with Joan.”

“Yep will do.” Agreed Robyn.

“You were given some antibiotics and pain killers from the doctor or nurse who cleaned you up?”

“Yeah I was.”

“Make sure you keep taking them. I am sure the pain killers you were given are quite strong, so it will keep the pain at bay and keep this arm wrapped up. There is no need for the bandage now, the dressing alone will keep the wound clean.” Doctor Greene carefully covered Taron’s stitches back up with a crisp white dressing. “Make sure you finish the prescription Taron.”

“Don’t worry, he will.” Answered Robyn for Taron.

“I will.” Taron repeated. “And I was given a repeat prescription for the pain killers.”

“Take advantage of that Taron. I can see the fallout from what happened and it looks painful and sore. The pain killers are there to make everyday tasks easier. Knowing Robyn as well I do, she is helping without a doubt, but the prescription helps in ways she can’t.” Doctor Greene flashed Robyn a smile. “Have you tried her key lime pie yet? I take that grin as yes. It’s good right?”

“It is quite tasty. She makes a good lemon meringue pie too though.” Taron smirked Robyn’s way, grinning as he felt her gently slap his leg.

“She brought me a full key lime pie after I told her she needed to go to the hospital to get her appendix out.”

“I brought you that pie as an apology because I cursed you to hell and back after you told me I needed to go to the hospital.” Robyn looked to Taron. “I was supposed to be taking to the stage for the musical societies annual review but obviously couldn’t do so and I was devastated because it was my first time getting to sing solo for the society. I gave Tony a bit of grief over it so baked him a cake to make up for it.”

“Watch out for her. She bribes people with her baking but judging by your face she has already done so with you.”

“She gave me cookies.”

“Aww those second place cookies.” Laughed the doctor. “Missed out there Robyn didn’t you. First place so close but yet to far!”

Laughter filled the room but Taron’s turned silent quickly as he laughed too deep, the motion triggering a ripple of quick agony through his side, Robyn’s hand joining his on his ribs. Taron took a tentative breath through gritted teeth.

“Mind if I take a look Taron? I have seen you flinch a few times since you have been here.” After Taron agreed, Robyn and the doctor switched places, so Robyn stood at his shoulder, Doctor Greene having full access at his side. “I am going to move this top up.”

Cold fingers grazed his waist as the doctor inched the material of his top up and Taron felt a small shiver run through him with the contact. “No wonder you are struggling.” Doctor Greene placed a hand on Taron’s side, the young man under him immediately protesting with the pressure as his back arched a little off the bed. “Easy easy. Sorry Taron.” The doctor lifted his hands from Taron’s body. “I will go a little gentler this time.”

Robyn mover closer to Taron, sitting carefully at his shoulder, her left arm moving around the back of his head so she could place her hand on his left shoulder, his head cradled a little into her side. As her right arm encased his, fingers linking together, Taron was very grateful for Robyn’s company at the top of the bed, the skin to skin contact from their bare arms helping to soothe the tension in his body.

“You got quite a hammering Taron.” Doctor Greene examined dark purple and black bruising that covered a significant portion of his ribs, the discoloured skin travelling around to his back. “These are going to take some time to heal. You’ve been taking it easy?” He asked looking to Taron, not missing how Robyn had him gathered in a half hug.

“Yes, I have. Really not been doing much at all.”

“Let’s keep it that way. You are going to feel the extra effort it takes to do the most simplest of things for a long while, particularly moving to sit and stand. Unfortunately, there is nothing else I can prescribe you to take the pain away but I am sure Robyn has some arnica cream at home which will help with the tenderness a little. Not a miracle cure but can help somewhat with the bruising. Otherwise I am afraid there is not much else I can do.” Doctor Greene pulled Taron’s top back down.

“That’s ok. I know I am lucky that they are not broken.”

“You had the luck of the Irish with you in Florida with Robyn.”

“Oh dear God Tony.” Robyn looked down to Taron’s face, a grin on his lips. “And now the puns begin.”

“Robyn’s my lucky charm.” Pitched in Taron, enjoying how her cheeks slowly stained pink.

“Not you too! I thought you were on my side here.”

“Oh I am. Sometimes it’s just nice to watch you squirm a little. I don’t see it very often.”

“Ahh right I see how it is here.” She gave Taron’s bare left shoulder a squeeze before she removed her arms from him. “I will remember this next time you want cookies and a head massage!” She laughed as she played ruffled his hair before standing up, Taron swotting her hand away.

“Taron you look good considering what you have been through. Time will be your friend. I am sure the doctor in Florida has already explained this to you but nothing too strenuous and lots of rest. Other than that, you are in very capable hands. Come back and see me on Friday and we can check you over again.”

“Yeah sure. Thank you.” Taron carefully sat up on the bed and turned so he was sitting. “It’s nice to hear some good news.”

“Anytime. Robyn, a pleasure as always.”

She smiled as she took Taron’s shirt and her jacket from the chair. She put her jacket on the bed beside Taron and opened his shirt, holding it so Taron could slip his right arm in first but he shook his head at her. “I am just going to leave it off.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Too much effort at the moment.” Taron knew the drive back to Robyn’s house was quite short and he didn’t want to waste energy he didn’t really have on trying to get his shirt back on even with Robyn’s help and as the sun belted through the glass windows of the doctors office, he felt hot and uncomfortable and was happy to pull his hat back on and hold his shirt.

Robyn followed Taron’s lead and threw her own jacket over her arm and picked up her belongings from the desk. “Thank so much Tony. We shall see you Friday.”

Taron carefully hopped off the bed and followed Robyn out of the doctor’s room, both heading back to reception. He stood close beside her again as she spoke to Joan at the glass window about making him a new appointment. He felt a bit silly for being so nervous, when everything had gone smoothly as he knew it would but it was easy for the dread to overcome him as flashes and memories crowded his head from his time in hospital.

“Ok we’re good to go. Appointment sorted for Friday lunch time.”

“Thank you Robyn.”

“No problem at all.”

They walked out of the surgery and to her car and within five minutes, were back at her house. She let them in and walked straight over to the coffee table and turned on the air condition for Taron. “It won’t take long to cool down.”

Taron left his shirt on the island in the kitchen and walked over to her, feeling the breeze on his skin. “I will never tire of this.”

“You were looking a bit flushed in the surgery.”

“I normally don’t mind the heat but for some reason it’s really getting to me, in Ireland of all places.”

“It is just the circumstances Taron. Your body is doing a lot of hard work at the moment to repair itself.”

“Thanks for sitting with me in the doctors Robyn and making sure I didn’t freak out too much.”

“My pleasure but don’t feel stupid for being a bit nervous Taron. We have been through a lot and those every day mundane tasks for others, are harder for you and me at the moment because of what happened. Like Doctor Greene said, it just takes time.” She looked to her watch. “Now I hate to love you and leave you but I did promise Beth that I would have snack with her and snack is at ten.”

Taron smiled. “She is cute.”

“She’s a very cute little kid.”

“And yes of course, you have to get to work.”

“Now you have the full freedom of my home ok? Chill out, watch TV, sleep, eat and relax.” Robyn turned to him. “I won’t be home for lunch today because of the meeting and I won’t be home home until half six this evening but if you need anything you have the creche’s number and you have mine too. Just call me. My computer is on the couch if you need to use it. There is no password.” With her heels Robyn was able to look Taron directly in his eyes without having to stretch her neck a little and she could see now that his eyes had a slight hue of brown in them, something she hadn’t noticed yet. They were bright yet intense and for the first time Robyn saw no hint of pain or discomfort but even though he had been sleeping, his face still looked tired, the dark circles under his eyes etched deep in his skin and he still looked a little rattled after being in the doctor’s. “Taron I can stay if you want me to. Emma can go this meeting.”

“Absolutely not. I know the last time you left me I was sleeping but I think I will be ok for a few hours by myself. I knew when I came to see you that you would be working and I won’t be a distraction from your work and Beth will be devastated if you don’t have snack with her. I am going to be ok here.” Taron placed his hands on her bare shoulders, her skin very warm under his touch. “You have been a rock for me these last few days but I will be fine here Robyn. I plan to stretch out on your couch, eat from your fridge and route through every drawer in your house!” Robyn laughed. “If I do need you, you are only a phone call away. Now please go and show off the effort you made to dress up in this wonderful pants suit. You must not let it go to waste.” Taron smiled at her and stepped closer to give her a hug. “You look fierce and will definitely get the funding and if you don’t, tell them that you have a very good friend who can shoot three arrows at once.” He enjoyed the giggle he felt against his shoulder from her.

“Thanks Taron.”

“Go and kick arse my little Irish good luck charm.”

Robyn groaned as the broke the hug. “Ugh that one’s sticking isn’t it?”

“Well I could change it to my little Irish chicken!”

Robyn definitely loved Taron’s cheeky grin and belly laugh the best. It made his whole face light up beautifully, his eyes shining in the early morning sun, his lips in a huge ear to ear grin.

“I need to get a nick name for you.” She pondered as he laughed some more. “Leave it with me.”

“I thought I was your rocketman?” Questioned Taron. “I mean it’s what you called me in your first letter and you drew me a picture of a stick man in a rocket.”

“Ahh yes. I did, didn’t I. Rocketman.” She half grinned at him. “I had better go. I know you will but please make yourself at home.”

“Thank you Robyn.”

With another confirmation that Taron would ring her if he needed too, Robyn left him and walked out the door back to her car. She had a busy day of work ahead of her but knew it was going to be hard to concentrate. When she needed to be thinking about attaining the funding for the creche all she could really think of were the beautiful green eyes she had left in her home.

#Taron Egerton #Taron Egerton Fanfiction #Taron Egerton Fanfic #Taron Fanfic #friendship #Loyalty #love #Pants Suit #Doctors #Anxiety #Trust

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defellz · 5 years

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journalism at its finest // hwang hyunjin

★ genre - Journalist AU, Strangers to Friends AU, fluff, a bit of angst(?)

★ pairing - reader x Hyunjin

★ word count - 5.2k

★ description - Hyunjin and Y/N are two coworkers who get paired up to do a story on a rumor that is going around town, though because of Hyunjin's previous experiences this becomes a showdown of who can be saltier.

★ Warnings - explicit language

" Y/N, the boss is asking for you! " my co-worker Elena announced as she propped herself on my desk.

I looked at Elena and laughed, " He doesn't even know I exist, why would I need to go to his office? "

Elena rolled her eyes, " Jeez, thanks Elena for delivering the message to me, I appreciate it. "

I got up from my chair and patted her shoulder, " Thanks Elena, I really do appreciate it."

I walked past her, making my way to the elevator right around the corner until I hear her yell after me, " Buy me coffee during lunch! "

I laughed to myself and got on the elevator, I was quite worried about the fact that I was called to the boss's office as no one from my department was even ever acknowledged and if they were it was one of three things.

They got promoted, they got fired, or the idiot edited the story wrong.

I knew that it couldn't be the first reason as I had only started working in this particular company three months ago and it was surely not enough time to get promoted, so getting fired sounded like the most logical situation, cause as far as I knew, all my edited stories were okay.

My heart started beating faster and faster, I felt my palms become overly sweaty and shaky. That was not a good sign, this meant that I would be an absolute mess in front of my boss. Whenever I get extremely nervous I start to ramble a lot of useless things, I'm not sure how I was even hired in the first place.

As the bell of the elevator rang my heart started beating twice as fast as before if that was even possible. I had many questions going through my head in what felt like 1000 kilometers an hour.

Let's say I do get fired, what else am I supposed to do? It's not like my resume is absolutely fantastic, heck, I had written "fast-talking" as my specialty. In what other world is that even a useful talent? It didn't even help in this field of work, so the reason I'm even here will forever be a mystery.

I pressed the button for the highest floor and took a deep breath as the door was about to close, but at that exact moment, a co-worker ran into the elevator with me. I eyed the guy carefully, even if I didn't have any business with them, I still wanted to know what kind of people were working alongside me.

He was a complete stranger, a handsome stranger, I had never seen him around before this very moment, so assuming he was a newbie made a lot of sense. He looked at the buttons and nodded to himself before facing the door once again. I have never thought that a co-worker of mine could be so handsome, but he looked like a prince so effortlessly.

I shook my head slightly, trying to stop my obvious googly eyes.

" Got called to Chan's office as well? " the stranger pulled me right out of my thoughts and surprised me with his sudden question.

" Chan's office? " I looked at him with a confused face.

He scrunched up his nose before correcting himself, " I mean Mr. Bang's office. "

" Are you friends with the boss? I've never really heard anyone call him by his name, so I'm quite taken aback, " I slightly smiled and looked at him only to regret it in a second, because he was looking at me with those pretty eyes. wait, is that a mole under his eye?

" I guess you could say he's my friend, I've known him for quite a while, " He smiled back at me.

Oh my god, am I imagining this or am I melting?

I looked up at the floor level, " Anyway, what's your name? I don't think I've seen you around before. "

" I'm Hyunjin, I started working here part-time yesterday, so don't feel bad for not knowing me.

I did my best to calm down the heartbeat inside my chest and turned to Hyunjin reaching my hand out for a handshake, " Nice to meet you Hyunjin, I'm Y/N."

Hyunjin reached out his hand and intertwined it with mine. I must say, his handshake is either really weak or he thinks that he would crush my hand otherwise.

" Quite a weak handshake you got there," I looked up at Hyunjin with a very subtle smile.

Hyunjin looked back with a slight smirk," Quite a subtle smile you got there."

He kept a hold of my hand for a bit too long, so I awkwardly coughed and looked to the side," Maybe you could let go of my hand?"

" Why? It's soft."

I laughed in disbelief," You got to be kidding me."

Hyunjin turned his head to the door of the elevator and released my hand," Would you look at that, right on time."

I shook my head and laughed to myself, he was definitely an interesting character, but soon enough the feeling of nervousness took over as I remembered I was supposed to meet up with my boss.

Hyunjin walked into the boss's office before me, if it was debatable if they were friends before, then now it was quite sure that they indeed knew each other. Hyunjin had walked past the secretary without even having to say why he was there, and that only happened when the boss was getting a visit from a family member or a close friend.

I quickly bowed the secretary a quick hello and carefully entered Bang's office.

" Chan, I already told you I was just gonna work here for a little and then leave, Goddamn I wouldn't even be able to finish a project," Hyunjin was looking at Bang Chan with a slight annoyance glazing over his eyes.

So this was about some type of project? Now, this was definitely catching my interest.

" Excuse me? Why did you ask for me?" I asked our boss, who was sitting at his desk right in front of both of us.

Bang Chan smiled at me and started to explain, " You probably already heard that I have a project I would like to assign the both of you."

I nodded my head.

" What is the project about?"

" It's actually quite simple if the two of you work together. As you may already know there has been a rumor going around about some dirty money-making scheme that is taking place through all the local laundry mats, right?"

" Yes."

" Well, I would like the two of you to write a story about it. Maybe try to find out what exactly is happening and if the rumors are true."

Hyunjin raised his left eyebrow," And why would you assign us? I started working here like yesterday."

" Hyunjin, you're my friend, so I already know what you are capable of, plus you're only working here part-time, so it's not like I'm going to overwork you."

" Okay, and why is Y/N assigned as well?"

" I've heard great things about her work ethic from Elena who runs her department."

" And what exactly have you heard about me?" I asked.

" For one I heard that your CV was quite interesting, but leaving that aside Ms. Elena recommended that I choose you for this project because she believes that your journalism skills are being wasted while you work as a mere editor."

I felt my cheeks turn a slight shade of pink, it was truly nice to have my hard work recognized by someone.

" Okay, so both of us have to write a story? Can't she do it alone though? I mean, if her skills are that great."

Hyunjin was being quite rude and it surely made me think of him differently. I had assumed that he was a nice, sly guy, but he turned out to be only nice when he thinks you're hot and turns annoying when assigned for some type of work. Why come to work at this company anyway? Someone else could've gotten his place, but of course, the boss is his friend, so there is no doubt he wouldn't leave his friend to struggle if he could give him a job, even if it was a part-time one.

Our boss sighed, " I would appreciate it if you at least spoke to me as your boss during work. Anyway, to answer your question, I would let Ms. Y/N here do this project by herself, but you see, she has never had this type of a project, so I think it is fitting for her to have a good and successful journalist by her side, who could help her."

A good, successful journalist?

" Chan," Hyunjin looked at Mr. Bang strictly.

" What? " Chan raised both his hands in his defense," You're working with her anyway, so why not just have at least one person who knows about you? Besides, it's not like she knows who you are."

" I swear to god if you don't shut up-"

Not to lie, I was feeling extremely uncomfortable while both of them were arguing in front of me. For one I had never seen my boss unprofessional like this, he actually seemed like a human.

" Or what? She won't tell anyone," Chan turned to me," Right?"

" Yes, I won't say a word."

" See? You're completely fine," Chan cheekily smiled at Hyunjin.

" Fine, when is the deadline?" Hyunjin basically read my mind as I was about to ask the same thing.

" I'm giving you three weeks."

" But isn't that way too much? Usually, rumors die down after a week and the story won't gain attention as there is a possibility people won't be interested anymore," I wondered.

Hyunjin chuckled, " It's really clear she hasn't taken a job like this before. And no, three weeks isn't too much time, when the talk is about money people always care. The interest could even become bigger once the story is published to the company's website or news show."

I looked at Hyunjin, was this really the same flirty guy that stood next to me in the elevator?

Chan caught up on what was happening and smiled at me with a knowing smile," Hyunjin gets really serious and really mean when he decides to take a job. Trust me, you'll learn a lot from him, just please don't give up as he can be quite harsh."

" So this is like university all over again," I said to myself, stupidly I said it loudly and boss laughed at that.

" Exactly, think of this as an exercise in university and having it lead by Hyunjin here."

***

" Okay, so when we work together there is to be no relationship development as this is to be as professional as possible," Hyunjin stated as he placed a box on his new desk in our office.

Mr. Bang had decided that moving us into an office together would be perfect as we wouldn't have any other job besides this one, so apparently being in the same room all the time was the ideal way to work.

" Didn't I already tell you that I don't plan on talking to you about anything else but work?" I snapped back.

Seriously, how does he change so fast? He was so nice and flirty in the elevator a few hours ago.

" I just have to make sure cause I saw how you looked at me in the elevator."

" And how did I look at you?"

Hyunjin smirked, " As if I was the best looking man you had ever seen in your life."

" And you want me to deny that?"

" What?" Hyunjin looked quite taken aback.

" You are the most handsome man I've seen in my life, but that doesn't mean I'm about to swoon over you. I have a lot better things to do than to waste time trying to make a good-looking player pay attention to me. Plus, if I desired your attention so much I would still be getting it anyway."

" You really are blunt aren't you?" Hyunjin claimed as he looked at me with a smirk even wider than before.

" Listen, buddy, you aren't the only one who can change in an instant, I thought you were attractive, so I was shy. But now," I sighed," Now I just really want you to finally close those damn lips and shut up."

I looked at Hyunjin with a slightly teasing smile, " And weren't you the one who told me that we should not develop any type of relationship? Cause you seem too excited to be talking to me."

Hyunjin's smile dropped and he rolled his eyes, " Don't get on my bad side, you still need help from me."

" What? Did I say something that made you mad?" I looked at my coworker, I was aware that my smile was way too wide for his pride.

" Okay, fine, you win. I'll shut up as well."

" Thank you," I sat down at my desk and started to organize the few things I had brought to this new office.

The room was really quiet, the only thing that could be heard was the shuffling of papers and occasional sounds of a pen writing on the same paper.

" Hey Y/N? Could you call this number and ask for an interview? " Hyunjin got up from his chair and gave me a little sticky note with a number written on it.

I took the note from him," Why? Are they somehow related to this?"

" From the information that I already had about the rumor, the person you're going to call is Robert Lee, he had made several posts about receiving dirty money from many different businesses, so even if he isn't related to this case there is a possibility we could get some insider information on how this type of fraud works," Hyunjin theorized.

I rolled my eyes back at him," Yeah, like he's going to tell me all his dirty secrets knowing that I'm working as a journalist right now."

" That's why he isn't going to talk to a journalist but a pretty girl who read his post on the deep web," Hyunjin concluded his idea and went to sit back at his desk.

" So what am I supposed to ask him?" I shrugged at the boyish man sitting in front of my desk.

" Tell him that you read his article on his website and ask if you two could meet in person, so you could find out some extra details about dealing with dirty money," Hyunjin was already back into his world, reading up on some things on his computer and writing down some details that seemed interesting or useful.

I sighed and reached for my personal phone and dialed his number, unluckily a heavy breather picked up.

" Hi, am I talking to Robert Lee?"

" Depends on who's calling."

I felt myself create a fake smile on my lips as if trying to sound as nice and charming as possible," I'm Y/N and I read a post on your website about the best ways to get money and it all seemed really interesting."

" Oh! Yes, this indeed is Robert Lee on the line. Well, sweetheart, I think it would be the best if we were to meet and I could share some juicy details with you," I could practically hear how the creepy dude become overjoyed when he realized I was a person interested in his work, it was sort of adorable?

" Really? You'd meet up with me? I didn't think that would be possible!"

" Yes, yes, yes, we can meet up for coffee and maybe a little more?"

The last part sent shivers up and down my spine, now that was disgusting if I've ever heard what disgusting sounds like.

" Coffee? That sounds nice."

" Great! Where could we meet? Are you from Seoul? Cause I know a really good coffee place."

" Of course! Feel free to text me the address, I'll be waiting! Bye!"

I ended the call as soon as possible and only then realized I would have to be the one meeting that creepy Robert guy on the other end of the line.

" That bad?" Hyunjin asked looking at me with a bit of a worried gaze.

" You don't even know! He's so going to murder me," I tightened my ponytail sighing in defeat.

Hyunjin shook his head," It's not like I'm going to make you go alone. I'll go too, I'll just be undercover, so if he does something threatening I'll be there."

" Wow, thanks!" I fake smile at him in response," Makes me feel so much safer to know that a stick-shaped guy is about to protect my life."

" Has anyone ever told you that you're an extreme pessimist?"

" Yes. My mother, every day."

Hyunjin burst out laughing," You're kidding me? How does that happen?"

I looked back at the guy with a poker face," Sweetheart, only business talk. Don't want a relationship forming now, do we?"

" A pessimist and extremely salty. Thanks, Chan," Hyunjin mumbled to himself and returned to his previous work.

" Oh damn, I just found another person who you could interrogate," Hyunjin's smile was so wide as his eyes ram through the text on his monitor.

" I'm sorry, what? Are you not going to do anything else besides make me interview people and get myself killed?"

Hyunjin's face became sad and that almost made me want to ask him what's wrong, almost.

" I can't. I would but I really can't."

" Why? Are you that scared of someone ripping your guts out if they find out that you're a journalist?"

" You don't know me and my reasonings, so shut up and do as I say, got it?"

....

" So I just go sit in front of him looking all pretty and get him to spill the beans?" I lifted an eyebrow and looked at Hyunjin.

" Yep."

I shrugged my shoulders and entered the coffee shop. It didn't take long for my eyes to travel upon the older guy sitting at the far right corner. He was exactly like I imagined, he was the definition of a dude that should be behind bars, plus, he seemed like a heavy breather, which he definitely was.

My feet felt like they were glued to the floor, but I slowly walked over to the man, it did take a lot of courage and strength though.

" Hi, you must be Y/N, right honey?"

I smiled at the man and sat in front of him," That's indeed me and you must be Robert Lee."

" Exactly. Here have this coffee, I wasn't sure what you liked, so I hope you don't mind plain black coffee."

He slightly pushed the cup to my side of the table, though I wasn't going to drink from the cup, I didn't see it get delivered or how it was made.

" So what were the things that interested you the most?"

" I was wondering how does the transferring of the money happen, 'cause there's no way its as simple as just giving someone else money in a package."

" that's very correct darling, it really isn't that simple, though quite a lot of people do that."

I furrowed my eyebrows," But why would they do it that way if that's not how that works?"

" People are stupid and don't realize that handing money in envelopes isn't as easy as it seems, so why does that exactly interest you?"

I looked to the entry of the cafe and saw Hyunjin walk in with an almost completely covered face, so that was a horrible disguise, cause no one is going to suspect anything.

" Sweetie? What got you so distracted?" Robert Lee turned to look to where I was looking, so I just turned his attention back to me.

" Nothing," I nervously laughed," I was just wondering how I could answer to your question without seeming stupid."

" Why would you seem stupid?"

I bit the inside of my cheek," Cause I don't know anything about this type of business."

" So what got you so interested in my type of money-making?"

" My boyfriend is dealing with this business, so I wanted to make sure that he wasn't doing anything dangerous, and then I just happened to stumble upon your site and post."

The man reached out his hand and placed it on mine, bringing his face closer to mine and staring deep into my eyes," And what was a girl like you doing exploring the deep web?"

I pull my face further from his, but he just pulls closer himself," I like to explore weird and creepy things?"

" You don't seem so sure my sweetheart."

I awkwardly laughed and put my hands on his shoulders, pushing him slightly back," How would you feel if someone asked you shat you were doing there yourself? Would you actually want to answer?"

" Hmph, " Robert Lee chuckled," You got a point there, but you know what I can't understand?"

" What?"

" Why is a journalist from Bang Gears so interested in dirty money? Would it have anything to do with the laundry mat rumors?"

My eyes widened and I felt a knot form in my throat," How do you know who I am?"

" It was quite a rookie mistake to use your real name and phone number. Now answer me, or you're not going to have a fun night."

" I may be a journalist, but that doesn't mean that I'm-"

" You're what? Writing a story? Yeah, sure. Should've told me the truth when I asked why you were so interested, maybe then I would've actually helped."

" I was telling you the truth!"

Robert Lee smiled at me with a sinister smile," Y/N, I know you aren't dating anyone. I did my research on you when I checked who I talked to, let alone the fact that a journalist would have a boyfriend who deals with dirty money just seems sketchy."

" Fine. You're right, but believe it or not I'm really not writing a story. You can check me all I care, cause I don't even have gadgets on me that could record this conversation, so this really wouldn't affect you either way."

" I may say though, I don't believe you'd come here alone."

My heart started beating faster and faster, this dude wasn't actually as stupid as I thought," But I did."

" That means you're either brave or extremely stupid, but fine, I'll tell you all I know, frankly you seem way too nice for me to ruin your life."

" What?"

" Did I stutter? Get out your notes and write down the shit I'm about to tell you, it's important."

" Oh."

I got my notes out along with a pen and looked at the man in front.

" Feel free to ask me questions."

" Are the rumors about the dirty money schemes surrounding the laundry mats true?"

" No," Robert Lee shook his head," These rumors came to be because of stories from the past who had resurfaced, so when many new laundry mats opened in the city, and each being really close to one another, the people went wild. It was as if they all had to start coming up with conspiracy theories."

" Are dirty money schemes common between businesses?" I asked.

" Indeed they are, though they are quite different from how people assume they are."

" What would that mean?"

" It doesn't work how regular people assume it does. Frankly these businessmen don't just trade money, instead, they marry their kids and relatives into the other businessmen families."

I raised one eyebrow up at the man," But that's not how you do it, is it?"

" Yes, I work solo and I do not have a family. That's all I'm going to say. And Y/N, just so you know I didn't do this for you, I know you work along journalist Hwang Hyunjin and I've hurt the boy way too much."

" How do you-"

" I know how he works."

Robert Lee got up from his seat and just walked out.

What just happened?

" So?"

" So what?"

" Did you find out anything?"

I clenched my jaw and fake smiled at the boy in front of me," Yes, he told me, a journalist, all I wanted to know because, apparently, he knows a journalist named Hwang Hyunjin, so you, my dear teammate, got a shit ton to explain."

" Listen, I told you I don't want to develop any type of relationship with you, so I'm not obligated to tell you anything."

" Fine. Let's get this article over with, cause there's no reason to investigate any further. The dirty money scheme is a hoax," I got up from the table and made my way out of the cafe with Hyunjin closely following me.

" What do you mean by it's a hoax?"

" Dude said it was only a rumor, it's clearly based on how us, normal law obedient people, see these types of schemes. In the article, you can write about how we have been misinformed about these things and educate the people."

Hyunjin ruffled his hair in anger, " You mean we worked our assess off trying to get interviews when this was all just an actual rumor?"

I turned back to look at him," Aren't you glad that it's just a rumor though? You should be thankful that these things aren't happening around us."

" I needed a great story, but this. this is just shit."

" Oh would you look at that, Hwang Hyunjin is finally disappointed in something, is it not up there to suit your cosmical expectations?"

Hyunjin dashed by me completely ignoring me.

Great, I made him mad.

...

We were both sat at our office the next week, today was the end of out deadline and Hyunjin was re-editing the story he had written from the information I provided as I had gone to interview people in the police office to get some insight from them as well, but it was the same as Robert Lee said. It was all a rumor.

I could tell my partner was extremely nervous, even more, nervous than I was. This was going to be the first article my name was going to be written on, so shouldn't I be more nervous?

After a few hours passed by of me just sitting in my chair and playing candy crush on my phone, Hyunjin got up from his desk with a sigh.

" Sent it?"

He looked at me with a sincere smile for once," Yes."

Without any other conversation, he got his jacket and walked out of our office going home, though I had to stay even later as I wasn't a part-time employee.

Soon enough my phone rang and I picked it up, only to hear Mr. Bang on the other line.

" Hey Ms. Y/N?"

" Yes?"

" Did Hyunjin send me the article? Cause I've been refreshing my e-mail, but nothing is coming in."

" I'll go check and resend it to you."

I put down the phone and walked over to Hyunjin's computer which he had left on, maybe he was so tired that he forgot to turn it off?

I opened his email and he indeed hadn't sent it to the boss, so I sent it to him, but once the page refreshed I saw a lot of emails flowing in with disgusting titles.

Failure of a journalist - Hwang Hyunjin.

A journalist or a liar with nothing to do?

Famous journalist Hwang Hyunjin controversy.

What are these?

My interest peaked, so I opened one of them and read through what had been sent. In the email was a plain link which led to a news article about a journalist who sided with a mafia boss.

At that moment the door opened and I turned to find Hyunjin at the door," So this is why you needed an amazing story?"

" Get away from my computer, what are you even doing in my seat?"

" You forgot to send Mr. Bang the article, so he asked me to send it."

" And why were you reading that?"

I felt how soft my heart became as I couldn't imagine being a journalist who tries to enlighten people but ends up framed for being a traitor.

" Was this why you needed an amazing story?" I ignored his question," Was this why you actually needed someone else, so you could just put their name on it?"

" Does it matter?"

" Yes. What is this? What did you do?"

Hyunjin rolled his eyes," Didn't I tell you to not form any type of relationship with me?"

" Fuck that rule. Now you have to explain what you did."

...

Both of us were sat at a table by a window inside a small convenience store.

" I sided with a mafia boss. Didn't you read?"

I rolled my eyes," Well you must think I'm stupid if you really think I believe that."

" I did though," Hyunjin sighed and started to explain," Two years ago I was working alongside my best friend at the time and our company had told us to investigate a Mafia problem that was happening, so we did. I went to all the interviews, and I was oblivious of the fact that the men were already aware that both I and Jaemin were journalists at a company. So they kept me in the dark, but one day they took Jaemin and tortured him, well I thought they did cause that was what they told me."

" They didn't?"

" Wait I'll get to that point. So I went to a meeting place they had decided on and told me that I need to leave that company if I want Jaemin free, but before I do, I need to write an article where I say the whole thing was a lie. That there is no mafia. So I did, but later they were caught by the police and the person who wrote the first story on me was Jaemin himself. He didn't leave the company or anything, it turned out that the mafia had some of his friends involved and he gave me up for money. At least I thought he did, but then it turned out he just wanted me out of his way, so he'd be able to climb the career ladder faster."

" So that's why you didn't want a friend or any type of relationship with me, cause I worked with you," I said it mostly to myself, connecting all the dots, but Hyunjin confirmed it.

" Yes. I assume you wouldn't do the same as Jaemin did, but the fear is still there."

" But how did Robert Lee know you? And why did he help?"

" He was that Jaemin's friend, but he got fucked over by him too, so I guess this was as a sorry for distorting all of my potential job opportunities."

I smiled at Hyunjin with a warm smile," I mean, at least now you have a great partner under whose name you can write all those great ass articles."

" I only work for Chan part-time, so I'll be gone anyway."

" Oh stop it! He's your friend, we can tell him that without you I'm not going to write any articles and that we make an amazing team."

" Well, I guess we have to hope he likes the article."

" I'm sure he will!" I reassuringly rubbed Hyunjin's back.

#stray kids scenarios #stray kids #stray kids imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop imagines #kpop #hwnag hyunjin #hyunjin

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arthurs-wife · 6 years

Note

Is there any way you could do something with a future female reader? Maybe she gets gets sent back in time or she brings Arthur to the future 🤷‍♀️ you're choice fam.

(i might have gone overboard, this was an amazing prompt, thank you so much!)

You had found a time in your busy schedule to take a moment to yourself. Work and school, your family, that guy who kept pestering you at the library, it all melted away for a few moments as you lay out in the middle of the greenway. The sun shone down on you happily and you felt the grass beneath your legs.

Truly though, the universe couldn’t afford to bring you a few moments peace. The air to your left suddenly warped like old wood and through it came a horse, a man riding it as fast as he could. They streaked across the greenway and you stood up slowly, following them intently. The man seemed to realize he wasn’t where he ought to be and stopped, you could hear his deep voice echo through the field.

You shoved your glasses into your hair and saw him spin around, spotting you and waving an arm. He called at you faintly and you raised an arm to meet him, starting towards him.

You met in the middle and saw the man up close. He looked disheveled and extremely out of place.

“S’cuse me miss,” he greeted in an accent you didn’t recognize, “can you uh, tell me where we are?”

“We’re in Florida,” you said slowly, “I take it from that rip in space time back there that you’re not where you thought you were?”

“Where’s Florida?”

“Southern-most state,” you replied.

“I was just in Lemoyne,” he muttered, wiping his brow and looking around again.

“Lemoyne?” you scoffed, “what are you from the 1800s?”

“Is this not the 1800s?”

“Florida hasn’t been called Lemoyne since 1912,” you said, putting a hand on your hip.

“What year is it now?” he asked, surely he wasn’t looking forward to the answer.

“2019, my friend.”

“Well ain’t that just a damper on my day.”

You looked back at your car then to the man again.

“Can I bring you back to town with me?” you asked, “I’m not sure what you can do about your horse though.”

“Well where’s yours?”

Oh boy.

“I have my own ride,” you tried to explain, “if we want to get anywhere we’ll have to take it.”

The man considered before jumping down and smacking his horse on the rear and sending her away.

“She’ll find me again,” he assured you, “let’s get to this ride of yours.”

You led him back to your car and opened the door for him. He hesitated a moment, walking around the car and taking it all in.

“This a stagecoach?” he asked.

“Sort of,” you cocked your head, “just without the horses. And the whips. Anyway, come on, get in.”

He clambered in and shut the door, waiting for you to get in and start the engine. He put out his hands instinctively when it roared to life and you put yours on his knee. You both looked at it for a moment before settling back down.

“Sorry,” you said, “my name is y/n.”

“Arthur.”

You shook hands. The engine puttered away and you sat there for a moment.

“I’m not even sure where to take you man,” you looked at him.

“Well,” he thought for a moment, “I just jumped 120 years ahead of my time and there’s nothing saying I won’t get ripped back in an instant. Show me what the future of civilization looks like. Show me it’s worth it.”

You shrug and start driving away, bumping down the road until you hit asphalt. Arthur is stock still in his seat, holding onto the door.

“The ‘oh, shit’ bar is right there,” you say.

“The what?”

You motion to the handle above his door and he grabs it.

“Mind if I put on some music?” you ask.

“I’m curious to see how anything works right now,” he laughs, “go on, show me.”

At the red light you take out your phone and pull up Spotify, plugging your aux cord in and putting on some music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0sEclM9JRw

You were pretty out in the sticks but Arthur watched your every movement, taking your phone and inspecting every inch of it. He was full of questions and kept asking you how the car worked, how the streetlights worked, how was the music coming from your phone to the car?

You eventually made your way into civilization and Arthur was glued to the window.

“What’s that place?”

You looked and he was pointing to the mall.

“It’s like a general goods store,” you explained, “but for shit you don’t need.”

“Can we go?”

“Sure, but we’re getting you changed.”

He looked down at himself.

“What for?”

The mall wasn’t as crowded as usual which was good. You told him to leave the hat in the car and follow you.

He really was a fish out of water. You entered a department store and he looked around in awe.

“How’s it so cold in here?” he asked.

“AC,” you said and stopped yourself, “air conditioning. Blows cold air through those vents.”

You pointed and he looked.

“I’ll be damned.”

Shopping was far too fun. You spent too much time dressing him in different outfits and finally settling on a pair of jeans with a black button up shirt.

“You clean up nicely,” you said, eyes lingering too long on his butt, “want to get your hair done?”

“You don’t like it?” he said, turning around to face you.

“Personally I like the long hair,” you said, motioning for him to come with you, “I just didn’t know if you were, like, able to cut it.”

“We can’t,” he said sadly, shaking his head, “scissors weren’t around in 1899.”

You narrowed your eyes and looked at him. He smirked and you shoved him with a shoulder.

Clothes acquired you set off again, keeping an eye out for things you thought Arthur would like. Your afternoon adventure with a cowboy was proving to be one of the most interesting times in your life.

“Oh, I have to take you here!” you turned quickly into a parking lot and found a space, “sorry, I’ll cool it with the swerving.”

“I have no idea what you just said,” Arthur grumbled, exiting the car and following you, “what is this place?”

“This is Publix,” you motioned and the doors opened automatically, fascinating Arthur to no end, “best grocery store on earth.”

Arthur marvelled at the amount of produce, fresh meat, liquor selection.

“What’s this stuff over here?” he motioned to the section of organic items.

“Oh we’re doing this thing now where everything has to be organic,” you said, picking up a bundle of bok choy, “we got tired of all the chemicals.”

“There weren’t no chemicals back in my day.”

“Oh you’re right,” you agreed, “but since your time, we started mass producing, throwing chemicals in our food and it scared us so now we’re back to doing things your way. Full circle.”

“I guess.”

“Come on, I’ll get you a Pub sub.”

“A what?”

You hoped you weren’t overloading the man with everything as you watched him try and eat the entire chicken tender sub, but he looked so amazed at how one person could eat such a big portion.

“Tastes funny,” he said, chewing thoughtfully, “is that the chemicals?”

“No I got you the organic kind,” you smirked.

He chuckled but ate the whole sandwich anyway.

You were sitting on your car’s hood outside of a CVS after buying Arthur a pack of cigarettes that he was thoroughly enjoying.

“What’d you say these were?” he asked, inspecting the pack.

“Cowboy killers,” you said.

“How about that.”

He started coughing, a massive fit that ended with some blood on the ground. You patted his back, concerned, but he waved you off.

“I’m afraid I’m not long for this world, darlin’,” he said, “although I do find it amusing that the creator thought to show me the future of this damn world before I die.”

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked.

“I have tuberculosis,” he said mournfully, “pretty bad case, the doc told me.”

“Do you remember what year it is?” you asked, getting up to walk across the street, “come on, I have an idea.”

The clinic was also thankfully empty, it seemed like the universe picked today for you to save this handsome cowboy’s life.

“Hi,” you said, approaching the counter, “this is my brother and he’s not on my insurance but I think he has TB. Can you help?”

“Tuberculosis?” the nurse said, deadpan.

“Yeap.”

“Insurance?”

“Can you just put it on my tab?”

“No.”

“Fine,” you huffed, “out of pocket it is.”

The wait wasn’t long and you two watched Jurassic Park. He had so many questions.

“You know you’re a pretty forward thinker for someone from your time,” you finally said, “it’s not a bad thing, I’m just surprised.”

“The gang I run with tries to be as accepting as possible,” he said, “but things aren’t looking too good for the minorities. Does it get better?”

You wish you could tell him different.

“I’m sure in another 120 years it’ll be better.”

“Mr. Morgan?”

The stone faced doctor called you back and you followed her to the room.

“Nurse says you have TB, huh?”

As a response, Arthur coughed his entire lung out.

“Okay,” the doctor said, pulling a cover over her face and handing you one, “I’m going to do a TB skin test on you and see what it does.”

She put a small needle in his forearm and he winced.

“Come back in 24 hours to see the results and we’ll go from there, okay?”

“24 hours?”

“That’s how long the test takes to show if there’s TB in your system.”

“In the meantime,” she said, pulling out a pad, “I’m going to give you this prescription for Isonaizid and rifapentine, you’ll take each one once a week for three months. Sound good?”

He nodded and took the paper, and you led him out of the room. Out in the waiting room, you pointed to your car motioned him to wait by it.

“Can you send me the bill please?” you asked the nurse, “here, I’ll give you my address.”

Back at the car Arthur shook his head as you approached.

“It’s that easy?”

“Not always,” you said, starting the car and heading to the pharmacy, “I think they just took pity on you.”

Arthur near fainted when the clerk asked for $300 for the drugs.

“I’ll just put it on my credit card,” you said, pulling it out and swiping.

“Do I even want to know?”

“Not unless you want to stay in the future for the next two weeks while I explain it.”

“Can we go back to that field now?” he asked back in the car, “as much fun as this was I miss the open space. It’s too crowded here.”

You nodded and headed back, taking the scenic route and passing trees, farms, dilapidated old houses held up more with charm than brick.

“So you all can cure all diseases like that now?” he asked.

“No, there’s still stuff like cancer, mental illnesses, auto-immune disorders,” you listed, “that we just kind of have to live with. We’re also still pretty horrible to black people and women and disabled folks. And we’re still at war with pretty much everyone.”

“You’ve had 120 years for christ’s sake,” Arthur laughed, “what the hell y’all been doing?”

“Making money, I guess.”

You turned off your car at the field and got out, fully appreciating the crisp air and open sky, even moreso now.

“So what do you think,” you asked, “is all this civilization worth the hype?”

He looked at you sadly and down at the antibiotics in his hand.

“Do you think it’s worth it?” he retorted.

You didn’t know.

The air behind you ripped again and Arthur’s horse trotted up. He put the antibiotics in his bag and held out a hand.

“Thank you for saving my life, y/n.”

“Weren’t nothin’,” you tried and he gave you a look. “Take care of yourself, Arthur.”

He nodded at you and mounted his horse, trotting off to the rip and looking back at you. He raised an arm and you waved back before he disappeared completely. He was gone.

You weren’t sure why but you spend a good amount of time crying in your car after that. The sight of his hat, still on the floorboard, made you laugh and you put it on.

Fastest cowboy in Florida.

#arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #time travel shenanigans

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chasholidays · 6 years

Note

I really like a Timestamp for Time Enough for Rocking When We're Old with the prompt "Graduation"

Original fic here!

Bellamy knows that Octavia didn’t pick a college in the Boston area just to delay his impending freakout about her growing up and moving away, but that was a side-effect of Boston College being her favorite place that she visited. It had felt like a good kind of compromise, her leaving the house but not leaving, and Bellamy hadn’t even minded that much. He loves his sister, but he really shouldn’t have had Octavia in the first place. When she left for college, his life fell into the place where it was probably supposed to be: he was a twenty-seven-year-old guy with a good job, a house, and a wife. If anything, he was ahead of the game.

So he was doing well. Octavia was close enough that she came home to do laundry sometimes, but it was mostly just him and Clarke, living in something like domestic bliss. There wasn’t any reason to think that would change, once Octavia finished college.

It’s about a month before said finishing of college when she says, “Hey, I got a job.”

“Yeah? Awesome, congrats. That’s amazing.”

“Right? It’s a one-year gig teaching English in Japan, but if I like it I can extend my contract for longer.”

Bellamy’s heart stops. “What?”

“Did I not tell you I was applying for that?”

“O–”

“It’s a job, and a cool one! I get a place to live and I get to see a whole new part of the world. How is that not awesome?”

“If you really thought I’d think it was awesome, you would have told me.”

“Just because you don’t think it’s good, that doesn’t mean you’re right. I knew you wouldn’t like it, but I didn’t want to have this fight unless I actually got it. Which I did.”

There’s an undeniable logic to it, not that it helps. His paranoid overprotectiveness is something his sister can plan around, something she has to factor into whatever she tells him. How many things must she have thought about doing that he doesn’t know about because she didn’t trust him not to blow up?

“You did,” he agrees, releasing his breath on a long exhalation. “And you’re excited?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Tell me why, so I get it.”

And to be fair to Octavia, she’s not lacking in reasons. She’s never left Boston and has always wanted to travel, she actually kind of likes teaching, and she wanted to see what it was like to be on her own without completely giving up a safety net. She looked into dozens of programs, compared them, and applied to a bunch, but this was her favorite, and she got in.

The least he can do is be happy for her.

“Sorry,” he says, soft. “That you couldn’t tell me.”

“I learned my lesson from the college conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I loved BC, but every time I talked about liking anywhere out of town, you shut down.”

Bellamy doesn’t remember it like that, but he’s never had as good a poker face as he thinks he does. He goes blank and thinks that will solve the problem, but his sister knows what a blank face means. He wasn’t fooling her.

“I know it takes me some time to get used to–I just want you to be happy. I’ll get over myself.”

“I know,” she says, her tone an eyeroll. “You haven’t stopped me doing anything I want to do, Bell. I just don’t tell you everything all the time.”

“I guess that’s probably fine. Did you tell Clarke?”

“Some, not everything. I told her I got this first so she’d be ready for your freakout.”

“You know you don’t have to manage my emotions for me, right?”

“I don’t do it for you, I do it for me. I want to minimize having to fight with you. Don’t act like you don’t do it too.”

She’s right, of course. He picks and chooses his fights with his sisters as much as he can, avoids it as much as possible, which is most of the time, these days. He doesn’t need to run his every decision by his sister, not even most of them.

“I know I do,” he tells her. “When do you leave?”

“A week after graduation.”

“Congrats. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks. I’m so excited,” she admits, sounding like a giddy little girl, excitement gushing out. “I can’t wait.”

He’s not going to miss out on these conversations; he doesn’t want her to have to weigh whether or not it’s worth the fight to tell him what’s going on in her life. He’s going to deal with this, be better.

So he goes to Clarke, sinks down next to her on the couch and puts his head in her lap with a sigh.

“Octavia told you?”

“Yeah.”

“You okay?”

“I feel like an asshole.”

“If it helps, she’s twenty-two, which is how old I was when I wasn’t telling my mom that I was marrying some random guy I found on craigslist. So you could be doing a lot worse.”

“Jesus,” he says, with a soft laugh. “I can’t believe we did that. O’s way too young to get married.”

“We weren’t really getting married. I didn’t think it was going to last.”

“It shouldn’t have.” He takes her left hand, turning it over to look at the rings on her finger. The first is still his grandmother’s, but he bought her another on their fifth anniversary, a plain gold band, but it matches, makes the engagement ring look like part of a set. He never gets tired of seeing them on her, the tangible proof of their marriage, modified and improved after years together.

“I guess going to Japan for a year is a less major life decision than getting married to a stranger.”

“If she doesn’t like it, she can get out of it easier, yeah.” She gives his hand a squeeze when he lets go of the ring. “Do you want me to distract you?”

He frowns. “That doesn’t sound like a come-on.”

“It’s not, no. I have news.”

He straightens up, frowning. “News? What kind of news?”

“I’m pregnant.”

It’s somehow not a total surprise and a complete shock at the same time. They’d talked about the possibility of kids a few months back, at Christmas, and decided that they could handle having some, and they could start trying, and if Clarke wasn’t pregnant by the next Christmas, they would reassess. If he’s honest, Bellamy had been assuming that would happen, without any good reason. When he was younger, he was convinced he’d gotten someone pregnant every time he had sex, no matter how much protection they used, but somehow marriage had him convinced that trying to get pregnant would never work.

“Holy shit,” he breathes. “Really?”

“According to the test I bought, yeah.”

“When did you buy it?”

“This morning, when you were in the shower. I went around the block to CVS.”

That stops him short. “Why then? Why didn’t you tell me?”

She buries her face against his shoulder. “Honestly? I felt kind of stupid even buying it. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I couldn’t believe I was right. I didn’t want to tell you until I took the test. I know it doesn’t make sense.”

“No,” he says, smiling and kissing her hair. “That makes total sense. I just, uh–after the thing with Octavia, I was kind of worried you didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to overreact.”

She kisses his shoulder. “No, I don’t do that. I’m not Octavia, don’t worry. I tell you stuff. I would have told you if the test had been negative, too, I just–I needed to know first. If I was right or not.”

“And you were.” He exhales. “And you’re pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant. Probably like–seven weeks along, maybe? I don’t know. I missed two periods, so something around that, but we’ll have to go to a doctor to be sure.”

“I really didn’t think it was going to work,” he admits. “Not this soon, anyway.”

“It did feel kind of theoretical, yeah. It’s weird that you can decide you’re ready to maybe have kids and just start trying and then–that’s it. Not that this is–it could be a false positive, and it’s still pretty early, and–”

Bellamy tugs her closer, gives her hair a kiss. “Breathe. Are you happy about this? You don’t have to be.”

“I am.” She laughs, a strange, disbelieving kind of laugh. “I think I was just so focused on reminding myself that it wasn’t going to happen overnight and I needed to be patient that I wasn’t thinking about it actually happening, you know?”

“I definitely know.” He lets out a breath. “Okay, so, uh–pregnancy. That’s happening. Let’s say you’re eight weeks along, that means we’ve got about thirty weeks to go, which is–seven and a half months? And the baby’s due in October or November?”

“Something like that. I’ll call the doctor on Monday and set up an appointment, and then we’ll get more information.” She groans. “Fuck, I’m going to have to stop drinking.”

“We’re going to have to clear out the computer room and make it into a nursery.”

“To be fair, no one has a computer room anymore,” she teases. “Not even us. It’s just storage.”

“Which means there’s way more to clear out than there would have been if we just had a computer in there.”

Clarke’s smile is still growing. “Remember when you tried to convince me I could live in there?”

“Your standards were just way too high. I figured anyone who was marrying some guy on craigslist to save on rent would be happy to get whatever room I had. And wouldn’t actually want to share with me.”

“Instead you got me,” she says. “And your kid’s going to be the one who gets the room.”

“Fuck,” he says, dropping his head back onto the couch. “Our kid. We’re actually having a kid.”

“Assuming everything goes well. It’s still early, so–”

“Yeah.” He laughs. “Fuck.”

“We don’t have to keep it.”

“No, that’s not what I–I just can’t believe it. Unless, uh–do you want to keep it?” he asks, a little belatedly.

“Yeah, I do. I think I was just expecting more of a break between Octavia leaving and us having another kid.”

“She’s leaving in a month,” he points out. “We’ll have a while between that and the baby.”

“Spoken like the guy who isn’t going to be growing a human inside him for that whole time.”

“Good point. But we’re doing this.”

She rests her head on his shoulder. “We’re doing this.”

In theory, Bellamy shouldn’t actually need anything to distract him at the end of the semester. The end of the semester is basically hell for him, and the fact that he’s thinking of AP exams as something that’s distracting him from Octavia leaving and Clarke’s pregnancy is actually kind of worrying. AP exams are supposed to be the worst part of every spring.

And in a way, of course, it is the worst part. In no universe is his wife’s pregnancy bad, let alone his sister graduating college with a good job she’s excited about. That’s all awesome, and in some ways not nearly as stressful as the end of the semester and wondering how his kids are going to do on their tests.

But at least with the tests, he feels like he has some degree of control. The kids are the ones taking the actual exams, but he gets to prep them and answer their questions and he has a good idea of what success looks like. It’s largely out of his control, but he resent them if they fuck up.

It’s not pleasant, but it’s not an existential issue, and that makes it a novel distraction.

Unfortunately, it only lasts into mid-May, and then the tests are over and the distraction is just gone, the relief he usually feels when exams are done immediately eaten up by anxiety about the baby he can’t even tell is there yet, this kid who might not actually make it to being born.

So he calls his sister.

“You’re calling me?” she asks, frown audible in her voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s actually wrong. I’m freaking out and I figure you’re an adult now, so I should talk to you about it before I do something stupid.”

“Let me guess, you googled something about my new job and you think I’m going to die. Did you check Snopes? It’s probably bullshit.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s, uh–Clarke is pregnant.”

He did tell Clarke he was telling O, so it’s not like he’s doing anything wrong, but it feels a little anticlimactic, a little risky. It should be a big deal, and they should be telling her later, when it’s less likely to jinx it. They should go out to dinner and make a production of it, but there will be time to do that later. Clarke’s pregnancy isn’t going anywhere.

“Congratulations. Are you not happy? I feel like you should be happy.”

“I don’t want to let myself be happy yet. I’m thinking about everything that could go wrong. There’s so much.”

Octavia pauses. “Oh wow, yeah. This must be like a pretty major crisis for you, huh? Like–pregnancy is a minefield.”

“Pretty much.”

“So why are you telling me?”

He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m asking you for a favor.”

“What kind of favor?”

“I want you to let me stress out about you so I won’t be worrying about the baby.”

Another long pause, and then she laughs. “Seriously, Bell?”

“I think it would help.”

“It would help you.”

“Yeah, we’re talking about me.”

“What do you even have to worry about? With me, I mean. It’s an established program with a good reputation. This is, like, really normal. Not a crisis.”

“I can find something. I’m really good at worrying.”

“But you don’t want to be worrying about Clarke.”

“I don’t need to do anything else to stress her out. We’re already going to be–there’s so much that can go wrong, I don’t need to be dwelling on it.”

“So you want my permission to find stuff to worry about with me so that you and Clarke won’t end up in some stupid stress spiral.”

“There’s only so much we can do to avoid that. But yeah, I want to get it as under control as I can, so–”

“You know how weird this is, right?”

“I do, yeah. You’re an adult now, right? That means you get involved in adult conversations, like how having a baby is scary and I’m going to be melting down for the next eight months. And that’s assuming everything goes well.”

“You know, you sounded less worried about marrying a stranger from craigslist than you do about having a baby with her.”

“Marriage is less of a commitment than a baby.”

She goes quiet again, and this is the time it occurs to him how rare that is, how encouraging. His sister is actually thinking things over, measuring her responses, taking care. She really is growing up.

“I really thought you were ruining your life for me, you know. When you and Clarke got married.”

“I know. You told me.”

“Yeah, but I never felt like you got it. I didn’t know how to explain it.”

“Sorry?”

“No, it’s just–I don’t know. You’re having a baby, and it should be the best news ever, and you’re telling me you need me to be your distraction. You need to work on appropriate emotional responses.”

“I’m happy. Jesus, O. I’m so happy I don’t know how to be this happy. I’m not going to figure it out until I’m holding the baby, and maybe not even then. I’m not supposed to be this lucky.”

“Okay,” she says, in her most authoritative, decisive tone. “Here’s what we’re doing. I’ve got another week of classes and then exams, so I need to get through those. Feel free to read every horror story you can about Americans getting stabbed abroad. Pretend I’m going to another country if it helps. And then once I’m done and on my way to Japan, I’ll send you updates on how I’m doing that you can’t verify that are full of red flags.”

“You’re going to send me fake crises?” he asks.

“Yup. Nothing that bad, always stuff I can deal with, but something you can fret about as much or as little as you need to.”

“Is it bad that that sounds really good to me right now?”

“It’s like subscribing to one of those puzzle of a day things, but specially tailored to your neuroses.”

“Thanks, O. Really.”

“If making up stories is going to help you get through this pregnancy, it’s the least I can do. Is Clarke there? Can I talk to her?”

“She’s in the other room. I can get her.”

“Yeah, I want to tell her congratulations and make sure she’s doing okay. See if she needs any weird services from me.”

“You actually turned out all right, huh?”

“I tried, anyway. Really, though,” she says, serious. “Congratulations. You guys are going to be awesome parents.”

“We worked all the kinks out on you, so–”

“So you’ve got this.”

It’s not exactly easy to believe, but it’s getting easier.

“Yeah,” he says. “Somehow.”

“Is this Octavia thing going to help you too, or am I the only one with that specific hangup?”

Clarke has her head in his lap as she reads, which is nice, and Bellamy can’t help letting his eyes stray to her stomach, even though her pregnancy being obvious at this point would actually be a huge red flag. It’s not like he actually expects to see anything, just the knowledge that a few cells will be a living, breathing human in under a year in there is almost unreal.

He remembers his mother being pregnant, of course. He was old enough when Octavia was born that he followed a lot of it, helped out when Aurora was achy or cranky or needed some obscure food from the store. But he hadn’t really cared much about Octavia until he saw her, until she was this little, wrinkly thing staring up at him in awe. That was when he had a sister.

Children, apparently, kick in earlier.

“She did ask if I wanted her to do anything for me.”

“And?”

“And keeping you distracted is a public service.”

He kisses her forehead. “I haven’t been that bad, right?”

“No, you haven’t.” She grins. “Your paranoia about worrying means you’re really holding back on stressing.”

“Good for me. You don’t need anything?”

“I told Octavia she should send me updates without any lies in them so I can give you answers if you’re worrying too much.”

“Probably a good idea. But you know you can tell me how you’re feeling too. I’m not too far gone to help with whatever you’re going through.”

“I’m trying to be fine,” she says, with a determination that makes him smile. “Nothing bad has even happened yet. If we start overthinking now, we’ll melt down before the end of the first trimester.”

“So how are you avoiding it?”

“For one thing, I don’t have summers off and I’m not worried Octavia is going to die.”

“And that helps?”

“You’ve got two big changes and no distractions. Which is why I liked the Octavia plan.”

“Because I’m going to distract myself from one crisis with another one?”

Clarke smiles. “The two crises being your sister graduating from college and the baby we’re excited to be having?”

“That would be them, yeah. I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s a lot of change all at once. I was hoping the baby was going to help, but I should have known it was too much.”

“I feel shitty that I’ve just been stressing non-stop since you got pregnant.”

“I get it. You were going to be stressing non-stop about this anyway, the pregnancy is just the icing on the cake. But you’ll get over this hump in a few weeks.”

“You think?”

“As soon as I start having actual pregnancy symptoms and we have real information about how the baby is doing, you’re going to be fine.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“And once Octavia goes to Japan and doesn’t die.”

“I know. I just–”

“It’s a lot.”

“It’s good. I should be happy.”

“You are,” she says, with reassuring confidence. “Right?”

That’s less reassuring. But the answer is still easy. “Incredibly. My life is amazing.”

“Your brain just needs to catch up. It’ll get there.”

“And you’re good,” he says. “You’re not keeping anything else quiet because I can’t handle it, right? Because I could.”

“I’m not. I’m nervous, but you know that. Mostly we’re waiting. And I’m glad you’re outsourcing your stress to Octavia.”

“Yeah, me too. I figured she’d be pissed, but she actually sounded kind of excited about making up lies to try and fool me into thinking her life sucks.”

“I think she’s going to be really good at it.”

“Me too.” He sighs. “She really is growing up, huh.”

“She is. And it’s good. We’re going to need her room in a couple years. The baby’s going to grow out of the computer room in no time.”

It seems unthinkable right now, that they’ll not only have a child, but that said child will get bigger and bigger, until they take over Octavia’s room, until they won’t want to be in the house at all. Somehow, in less that twenty-five years, Bellamy is going to be doing this all over again, worrying about what his kid is going to do after they finish college.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “They grow up so fast.”

By the time Octavia is actually graduating, Bellamy’s gotten his head screwed on straight enough to be unreservedly proud and happy for her. It should have been a pretty easy bar to clear, of course, but, as Clarke said, he had a stressful month. He had a lot to process in not a lot of time.

Not that Octavia graduating was actually a surprise, but Japan was an unexpected twist, and even without that, it was always going to be a lot. This is his baby sister, all grown up and ready to take on the world.

Both more and less literally than he was expecting; teaching abroad is a pretty lowkey occupation, relatively speaking. She could be doing something way more dangerous and combative. She could have decided join the army or become a professional bodyguard and he wouldn’t actually have been surprised. But instead, she’s going to another country, having a fucking adventure.

It’s exactly the kind of thing she felt bad he couldn’t have done because he had her, and the second he has the thought, a weight lifts off his shoulders and pieces slide together.

The relief must be visible, because Clarke asks, “Are you okay?”

“I just figured out it’s good Octavia is leaving.”

“Wow, it only took a month and a half,” she teases, but her voice and smile are warm. “What happened?”

“Even before my mom died, I was always–I felt like I was responsible for Octavia, for taking care of the family. That I couldn’t just have my own life. I didn’t raise O feeling like that. She can just go off and do whatever she wants. Plus, she’s kind of following in my footsteps. Teaching.”

Clarke leans her head on his shoulder with a smile. “She is. You did a good job, Bellamy.”

“You helped.”

“I came in when she was pretty much raised and helped get you over the finish line. I’ll take partial credit, but she was pretty much set before I came along. You’re a good–family member, I guess. That’s part of why I married you. I knew that no matter what happened or how everything turned out, you were loyal and kind, and you’d treat me well even if the whole marriage blew up in our faces. That’s what made you a good brother, what makes you a good husband, and what’s going to make you a good father.”

“How long have you been waiting to tell me that one?” he asks, putting his arm around her and kissing her hair.

“Since about a month after we met. It’s pretty obvious.”

“But not always relevant.” The music starts up, indicating the graduates are coming soon, and he lets out a breath. “I still can’t believe this is happening.”

“Which part?”

“Any of it. My whole life since you told me you wanted to marry me in that coffee shop has seemed fake. And all this stuff–I was so fucking scared everything would go wrong, and everything went right instead.”

“Things have gone wrong,” Clarke points out, not incorrectly. “But yeah, the general arc of our lives is skewing good, getting better. We got lucky.”

It really is something.

“Yeah.” He kisses her hair, disentangles himself so he can join the crowd looking for the graduates. This is his sister’s day, after all; he and Clarke can be sappy any time. “We really did.”

#dutch-tv-fan

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divine-identite · 5 years

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So March through July has been most interesting lately -

So, in short, we are going to call these Arcs (like story arcs). There are five of them right now.

Facts to remember about this person; she’s bisexual, into open relationships, looking for fwb, is on the spectrum, had depression and social anxiety - which is why she smokes.

So I met a coworker who I got along with in march. I thought she was really cool and knowledge, however, I had a strange intuition that something was off with her at the same time. So before all that, I tried inviting her out to some events - concerts and stuff. Cause I thought she was legit cool and whatnot. She says no to this and eventually, in late April she invites me out to see Avengers: endgame; she does so because she works Fridays and Saturdays, and her friends are busy on those holidays. So I pick up, okay, so im just 2nd pick for this event? So I let it go and I buy our tickets and set the date and time. She cant do it because she is a tech and im just PRS. ( i just answer phones).

1st Arc

So on the movie day, I meet her at her place. her place is very lacklustre, she lives in a one-bedroom with no furniture - which is fine. Her roommate lives in the living room with an airbed. It’s all fine to me, I know the struggle is real. She’s nice enough to offer me coffee and scrambled eggs. I take just the coffee. She goes on a smoke break in her room, she's nice enough to close the door for her roommate. I sit on the roommate's bed and how she gets off it is odd as fuck; she kind casually brushes her hands along her arm and wrist before asking me to stand up, and it takes her a while to get up and go. Because shes trying to decide what coat she wants to wear. So finally go off, get a ride up to the mall centre in german town. She starts talking about her stories and stuff - and about one time post-banging some freshmen on her sophomore year. I was thinking okay that’s good on you lol. Now the worst part is she starts leaning her head on me afterwards through the whole ride. We get to the movies afterwards, and there two seats left because her dumbass wanted to take her time getting here. So one guy pointed us to two seats left in the crowd. The theatre was packed so what she did was cling to my arm and lean to my shoulder- again. So after the movies, we go to chipotle, and then to the beer & spirits which I pay. Because her ID is expired, how the fuck do you let your Id expire? so I have to get it. We order a lyft head back and drink at her place and play some games. We both had a good time but I left once I saw the roommate had teased her about being autistic and etc. The shoulder leaning thing had me confused - she told me im an associate.

So I bring up the issue with the shoulder leaning issue. So apparent none of that mattered. I got on her about how people can misinterpret that and she said few to interpret that. She gets upset because I bring this issue to mind like a few days. However, she mentioned one time a guy assumed she leads her on. Again she makes it clear we are associates the whole time.

2nd Arc

Next week May 5th we scheduled to watch the game of thrones at her place. I get off at 10:30 pm on a Sunday, and she doesn't work on a Sunday. I had to buy beer again - because so she meets me at my job. it was quite odd because her excuse for coming was “she was in town and though to drop by”. Nothing wrong with that but it did lead to some speculation. My coworker Gloria kept up asking questions like “Oh did you say hi to her?” “She usually doesn't wear dresses, Kelvin, what do you think?”, “ She doesn't work today here” so yeah it was hinting she knew something. Now after my shift we went to CVS and she offered to buy me snacks and food. She asks if I was sure? Now on this day, I had a sausage, cheese & egg. So I went to her place we had to go into her room since her roommate was sleeping. So she offered popeyes which I took only a wing. I sat by her bed rather than on it because - it felt weird lol. She said I could join her bed rather than sit by it - we are coworkers bruh. She leaves out too. So after smashing like 8- 9 beers I get on her bed because my knees were killing me on that hardwood floor. She comes back like “ It’s about time” so after a while she starts to lean on me again. So the beer takes its toll - and I start to nod off. So while watching Game of Thrones she would ask some questions. So around season 5 she stops it there - tells me to get my things. Escorts me out to the door of her complex. The original plan actually to use a spare bed but she apparently didn't want to do that. So she escorts me outside 4:00 am in the morning, it's cold as fuck in may. She couldn't stay out because is only clothed in a skimpy sundress and she's anaemic and plus she left her house keys in her house. So understandable but still no check-in. Which contradicts with her usually thing because she would always see if I got home. I got home around 6 am had like only 4 hours of sleep and had to go to work lol- I had a slight headache but I was good. I texted her to see if she was okay, said she was fine and that I was doing too much. I just added that hey you were right that I should have eaten something. Now this issue sparks something on her end, this literally causes her to snap off and she literally bans me from coming to her house.

After dropping her shoes off that she sent to my location because she lives in an apartment complex. we go to the gym together because of her social anxiety, now the fun part is after the gym. I found out apparently I had spilt beer on her carpet and pissed over her toilet while drunk, to be fair her bathroom is really dark. The only light is a night light behind you when you use the toilet. She had an emotional connection with that carpet so I sympathized with it and made to right my wrongs. So she asked only for three meals and me to go to the gym with her for a week. I decided a month because I felt bad about the situation. we agreed on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Friday. Wednesday and Thursday are my days off.

3rd Arc

So off to the gym, some days she goes - some she doesn't - but either way I got continuously. Knowing discipline is necessary for progress. But usually, she is very inconsistent. So one week on Saturday she isn't going- rather than going I just leave it be. She's being too indecisive about the matter. I tell her to just tell me when she would be going and went home. So Tuesday comes up and she comes to work. She follows her usual routine; what's for lunch and etc? she comes up to check up on me and etc. But I wait until her shift after 12:30, now after that - my coworker comes up to ask “” Arent you going to the gym”. her reply, however, was “ No, I didn't do any laundry today. So I don't have any clean clothes to go with” That would’ve been news to tell me. So she leaves without telling me the matter - and leaves me hanging there. Wednesday and Thursday im off, and not once did it cross her mind. To make amends, so I actually have to reach out and confront her on the issues. She owned up to it but said her new meds for her depression. I understood in that second but for that whole three days? I felt that was really considerate tbh. I stopped doing favours because that was massive and just focused on me tbh. That was a huge disrespect to me and my time. So around June, I brought up the issue again to make sure we were clear and realised I had backtracked on it based on her logic on of the issue.

4th Arc

After a while, I agreed to invite her out to the movies. Went to see spider-man: Far away from home, I bought the tickets. We went over the seats and I set the time. So on the fourth, I reach the train station to meet her around 10:00 am, the movie starts at 12:45. She literally tells me to meet her at the theatre though we agreed to the train station, because of its fucking raining. Now the forecast said it would rain - but she chose to dress for the heat tbh. So I let it go and get a ride to the theatre and get there. We are early like its 11:45 pm so we decide to go to Starbucks. So she pulls me aside and asks if she can send lingerie and stuff to my house somewhat nervously (think of a typical anime girl who is fidgetting her fingers nervously) - because it's for when she goes to the gym. Still, quite an odd favour but i accept it. So after the movies, it starts to rain, so I got to CVS and buy an umbrella. Because she's wearing a sundress and if she got any wetter it is porn show. So off we go to across town to the Vape shop because the vape she has, has been burning her throat. So at the shop, the lady shows us how it works and after that she needs ID. She doesn't have ID....still so I had to literally use my ID. After a while, we go eat, and meet her roommate at the firework place. She arm links up with him and tries to get me to join - I literally shoot her down like “Nah im good”. So the roommate introduces us to his friends at her house - and off we go to park. Im literally lacking behind and she comes and checks up behind me multiple times. I state that im okay until we get to the park. Now at the park it's fine until it starts to rain, being the only practical person with common sense - hold up a single umbrella for five people. After 20 minutes of holding this damn thing up, I pass it off before she starts asking me if I want to watch Netflix. I say no, and then I went on my phone to text my friend for a while. Again she asks it before not too long she is leaning my whole thigh with the phone on it. Like you would with a couch armchair. This was no way platonic. After she leaning back on my chest with her back while we watch Netflix and stuff. Im like....you have your roommate there fam why not do this with him lol. After the fireworks, we leave but the large crowds cause her anxiety; she clings to my arm and literally is like “sorry for invading her personal space” ... it's a little too late for all that :T. We head to safeway , use the bathroom and head home.

5th Arc

We were supposed to go to Otakon together - because she invited me out to the invite. So I told Mike, a coworker of mine, I and she are supposed to be going. The whole week is excited about Otakon and stuff - and Saturday tells me “whenever she gets up she’ll let me know when she goes down to the convention centre”. I’m like.... what kind of rude shit is that? but I let it be it is what it is. So Friday comes up I call mike, he is down there and I meet him there. He tells me to call her to figure where she is - because she told him she’d be here 3-4. I called her and phone rings twice before going to voicemail. So she tells me “Oh im just got sick. Just my luck!” now I know this feels like bullshit really. You were super excited about this event - and Mike told me she looked healthy yesterday - again not making any sense really. So rather than just telling me you aren't going to show up at all. And she scheduled this event the whole time tbh.

#ooc: █ ▌❝ Tuning Out... ❞#rant: █ ▌❝ No Angels ❞

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hollands-poppet · 6 years

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ALL WE HAVE IS NOW PT 6// TOM HOLLAND X READER

Summary: Y/N is living the Hollywood dream but is conflicted with her feelings when her old flame comes back around..

Word count: 6.8K 💛

A/N: I personally think this part is boring but its crucial for the next part, and it took me foreverrrrrrrrr to write but I hope you guys enjoy this.. I feel like the series is slowly coming to an end but idk we’ll see

PART1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5

warnings: there is cussing ,angst and drama, also I sort of proofread this but not really so yeah

Y/N gulps in saliva, and puts her four fingers on her mouth while a her thumb rests on her cheek, “I might be overthinking it but-”

“But what?” Manny is growing impatient, a bit worried. Y/N could only think of the time she told Tom that she had loved him more than Timmy, the night they had sex. You hadn’t even left Honduras yet, and the stress of coming back home was already hitting you hard.

The ride to the airport was a quiet one, you didn’t give Manny a straight answer after realizing that you might be pregnant. This wasn’t your plan, Y/N had spent the past 3 weeks healing her mind body, and soul from the trainwreck she had created. How were you able to screw this up even more without knowing? A mess.

You couldn’t even look at Manny, you were so embarrassed. But how did this slip, you should’ve been aware when this birth control implant expired, Y/N had only one job and she screwed it up this bad. But she has to remember, she doesn’t even truly know if she’s pregnant or not. Just the fact that her birth control expired and Tom cummed inside of her. Once they had gotten on their flight, Y/N had gotten comfortable to sleep on the way home but Manny had other plans.

She shakes Y/N with her hands, and she kneels down next to her seat, “Hey- wake up.” You pull the headphones out of your ears, and look at her with an annoyed look. How dare she disrupt your nap.

“You slept enough in Honduras. I already have an idea about what you were referring to in the room but-” she squeezes Y/N’s knee, “I need to hear it from you.” Y/N looks into her best friends eyes, she knew Manny just wanted to be there for her and she knew that. You didn’t know why you were so scared, maybe saying it out loud just made it even all the more real.

“I just can’t say it out loud, I don’t even know if I can say it to be honest with you..” You bite your bottom lip, your shoulders tense up at the thought. Manny sighs, and rubs her eye, “Are you pregnant?” Your heart stops at the word you were afraid to say. Your eyes widen, and you purse your lips together, “I don’t know- maybe.”

Your best friend shakes her head, and rests her head on your knees, “Why, Y/N? Why? Why weren’t you safe?” You tug your hair, “Well, I thought the implant wasn’t expired. We should’ve used a condom, I know. It was just so hot and heavy in the moment.” Manny lifts her head to look you in the eyes, “Well, you should’ve thought twice before you didn’t use one.” You roll your eyes, “Manny, don’t you think I would take it all back if I could? This whole trip was to start over from everything, and this is obviously setting me back.”

Manny gets up from her knees and holds your hand, “Look, I’m not mad. I’m here for you, but you need to tell whoever impregnated you what’s happening…” There is an awkward pause until she asks, “It is Tom right?” You tug your hand away while you roll your eyes, and giggle “Who else would it be?” You sigh and pull the blanket that was next to you, and bring it up to your neck, “Before we jump to conclusions, we’re gonna get a pregnancy test first, I might not even be pregnant.”

Your best friend takes her seat, and reclines the seat back, “I guess you’re right.” She grabs her sleeping mask from her carry on and covers her eyes, “I’ll see you in LA.” And with that, Manny decided to take her nap. Y/N waited about 30 minutes before she got up from her seat, to make sure her friend was actually still asleep. You sit up from your reclined seat, bringing your feet to the seat and your knees to your chest. You felt like you were losing your mind just a little.

Walking into your home felt so weird, you could still feel all the tension you had left behind. Y/N walked past her foyer, dropping her bags and straight into her kitchen. She went straight to the sink and turned the faucet on, she let the cold water drip in the basin before she cupped her hands and wet her face. She tried calming herself before anxiety took over her, she brought the water on her damp hands into her hair. Her hands turning the faucet off, and she leaned over the sink, she felt so nauseous. Was that her anxiety or pregnancy symptoms?

Oh, fuck. This was so hard. She moves away from the sink, and to the kitchen counter and grabs a paper towel to dry herself off. In the corner of her eye, she notices a folded note that rest on the white counter. She quickly drops the wet paper towel in the trash, and reaches for the note, she quickly slides it into her view. As she opens it, its her house key that she gave Zendaya to give to the boys and it rests on the paper. It reads,

Tom fucked up, he knows that.

We’ll be traveling for the

next couple of months,

he wants to see you.

Just text me.

-Harrison O.

You sort of crumble the paper in your palms, you didn’t know if you wanted to see Tom. Well you kind of did want to see him but you knew you shouldn’t because of the way he acted. The only reason you would have to talk to him is if you were pregnant, you would have to tell him, he is the only person who could possibly be the father. That’s when you heard someone clear their throat, “You ready sweetie?”

It was Manny pulling out a plastic bag from her purse, you made the driver stop to a CVS before stopping to your house, and the swarm of paparazzi was insane. You forgot what that was like, you hadn’t been around this amount of people for a minute.

You waited in the Escalade and that is when realized that it was a good idea to wait for Manny while she went in the store. How did they already know you were back in town? The media is confusing. There were about 7 camera guys that surround the truck, it was a good thing that your best friend had went instead because if someone saw you buying a pregnancy test, the media frenzy would be wild on that whole situation and that’s something you didn’t want.

She walked next to Y/N on the counter, and emptied the bag next to her. A box of gum, a bag of chips, and a pregnancy test all fell next to each other. The sight of that box was something that you never thought you were going to have to see, this was neither a good or ugly feeling, the feeling just felt so new. You grab the box, and study it. This was surreal, your mom had instilled in you to be careful all the time growing up.

One of the biggest things your mom always said is that babies always complicate things. She sure as hell was right. This was a wild situation but you weren’t going to tell your mom anything until everything was official or until after you talk to Tom.

Manny puts her hand on your shoulder, “Hey, are you okay?” You shake your head, and put the box back on the counter “I can’t do this alone.” She swings her arms around your neck and pulls you in for a hug, “You’re not alone, you have me.” She pulls away from you, her hands still on your shoulders “We’ll do it together, okay?” Her hands move from your shoulders, to your cheeks.

Y/N rests her hands on Manny’s and takes in a deep breath, “Okay.” You let out a crooked smile and you both pull away, your hand landing on the box on the counter. It was time.

You exit the restroom in your bedroom and leave the pregnancy test on one of your dressers, you cue Manny to hit the timer on her phone. She’s sitting on the edge of your bed, and you take a seat right next to her. “I never thought I would be doing this, I never even thought about having kids to be completely honest.” Manny brings you into a side hug, “It’s okay, we don’t know yet for sure. You might be overthinking it. We have 2 minutes left to till we find out”

They both stay in their embrace, “These are the longest two minutes of my life.” Y/N says as they both break out into small laughter, they pull away and hold hands. “So are you going to talk to Tom...if it is positive.” You sigh and squeeze her hands, “I mean, I have to. I don’t think I can get rid of it, I wouldn’t have the heart to.” Manny nods her head, “Whatever you do, I’ll be here to support you no matter what.” You let out a crooked smile, “You’re the best you know that right?” Manny flips her hair over her shoulder, “Duh, I mean I’m your assistant for a reason right?”

“Speaking of being my assistant, we have major damage control to do when this is figured out. We need to call Universal, make sure we’re still on good terms with them, and every interview that was scheduled we need to send gift baskets to like buzzfeed, good day la,etc. I can’t have a bad rep on my name right now-” you’re interrupted, “Sweetie, one thing at a time. First let’s get this sorted.”

And at that moment, the timer on her phone goes off. Your heart beat instantly shoots up, holy shit. This was it, hopefully these last few hours of panic would be put to rest by this one stick. You just needed to pick it up, and it would all be over. Either outcome your mind would be at rest in some type of way.

“You ready?” Manny asks as you stand up.

“Not even a little bit.” You gulp down your saliva, and cover your nose and mouth with your hands as you walk towards your dresser. The only noise you can hear is your breath and your heart beat, they match perfect in sync, and in loudness. Every step making it louder, every step you feel the blood rushing through your veins, and it becomes more pronounced. The worst part is that you couldn’t run away, not this time. You reach the dresser, you stand in front of it not able to look down.

You close your eyes while your mouth and nose are still covered, and finally move your head toward the direction of your dresser. You count down in your head. 1…2...3...Open.

You bow your head down to the pregnancy test that lie on the dresser, and there it was. A sense of relief goes through your body, your shoulders releasing the tension that you had been carrying. Your hands move from your face to the dresser, your fingers slowly creeping up to hold the test.

Manny comes up behind you, “So...what’s the result?” You turn to face her and hand her the test, “There it is, bright and clear.” You bring your hands to your shoulders and release some more knots,

“It’s positive,” Manny says as she covers her mouth with her hand, “sweetie, it’s fucking positive.”

You don’t even react, you just run your fingers through your hair. You were pregnant. And that was that.

Manny had left the house early the next morning to do some damage control at Universal. You tossed and turned all night, you needed to talk to Tom. You needed to tell him what was going on but you couldn’t call him directly. You didn’t know if you were ready, so you would call Harrison. He did leave you a note to call. It only made sense.

It was around 10 am but you weren’t sure where Harrison was. You could text Z and ask but you weren’t sure what she was doing either so you just decide to call Haz. You bring your phone to your head while you lie in bed, your face toward the ceiling. The ringing in your ear didn’t last long, he picked up almost instantly, “Y/N? Is that you?”

“Harrison, hey. Good morning.” You say as you bring your duvet up right under your boobs.

“Well it’s actually goodnight over here but good morning to you too. I wasn’t sure you’d ever call.”

You clear your throat, “I was gone for 3 weeks, so I just seen it yesterday.”

“I hadn’t seen you on social media so that makes sense.” He sighs on the phone, “He misses you, Y/N.”

Your heart almost stops at Haz’s remark, “So, I’m assuming you’re back home in England since it’s night over there?”

“Yeah, we just got back a week ago. Z has been traveling with us because the Spider-Man premiere in England is in a few days, you should come. Tom would be happy.”

While you have you the phone to your ear you bring your thumb to your lips, your anxiety building up “I’m gonna fly out to you guys but Harrison- you can’t tell Tom.”

You couldn’t see his face but he probably so looked so confused right now, “What do you mean I can’t tell him? You want it to be like… a surprise?”

You drop your hand to your side, and you nod your head and almost forget you have to speak into the phone, “Yeaaah, I have a really big surprise actually.” You let it a short chuckle to yourself.

“Okay then, when do you think you will you be here?”

“Hopefully we’ll fly out by tonight but I’ll keep you posted.” You remove the duvet covers, and begin to get up.

“Sounds good.” You smile at Harrison’s cheerful tone, “Okay, bye Harrison.” And you hung up before you could hear his response.

“Hey, I bought you some heating pads for your lower back.” Manny enters your room and sets down heating pads next to your body, she notices you have an almost devilish smile on your face, “Why are you smiling like that?”

You put you index finger to your lips and bite it lightly as you speak, “We need to fly out to London by like...tonight.”

“You’re kidding me, right? We just got back home.” She drops her body next to you, “That’s the beauty of it Manny, we’re already packed.”

“As much fun as escaping sounds, I can’t leave with you Y/N.” You weren’t expecting that response from her, “What do you mean? You have to.”

Manny & Y/N lay side to side, hands held tight between them as Manny brings Y/N’s hand to her chest, “I have so much damage control to do right now with these studios, I-I have to stay behind.” You feel so bad that you’re best friend is taking up this type of responsibility, you needed someone to be by your side right now.

“Look, if you start getting a bad rep we won’t have any work to come back to if I go to England. You need to do this on your own.” She was right, Tom wasn’t her baby daddy, he was yours. Even though this wasn’t the exact circumstances you would want to see him in, you were sort of happy you were.

That rest of the day you tried to stay busy, you cleaned your house, switched out some clothing that was in your luggage, you kept getting nauseous here and there. You still weren’t sure if these were pregnancy symptoms or just your anxiety building up again. Y/N texted Harrison that she would be there the following night, Manny busted a bitch but she came through with that flight once again.

You were sad that Manny wasn’t joining you but you she was right, you couldn’t risk putting a bad rep on your career right now. An hour in to take off, you couldn’t sleep so you gave in and decided to buy the wifi and pass time by going on youtube. Watch a little Jeffree Star, or some David Dobrik but for some reason you clicked on a Wendy Williams video. Y/N felt so out of the loop since she had dipped for three weeks, maybe so celebrity news might be entertaining.

Wendy covered some news about R-Kelly and some stuff about the Housewives but you weren’t expecting what you were gonna hear next. You’re sipping your trenta pink drink thats nearly half empty when you see Wendy grab her mug and says, “So Y/N L/N..” She takes a sip of her tea and a headline that reads Y/N CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE pops up in the screen behind her and then it turns into a photo of you. There are a few giggles in the audience as Wendy takes a sip of her tea, and then sets it back down on her table, “So allegedly Y/N went MIA for a few weeks after getting stuck in a love triangle.”

There is sudden noise coming from the audience like gasps, and shocked noises. How the fuck did they even know this? “Now, when I tell you who the men are you’re going to be just as shocked as I was!” She takes a pause, and then she reveals the two names, “Tom Holland and Timothee Chalamet!” The audience’s gasp is even louder than it was before, the only thing Wendy did was smile wide, all her pearly whites show while she fidgets with her wedding ring.

You wanted to close the screen so bad but you wanted to see what she was going to say. The screen behind Wendy fills with two more photos, one of Tom and one of Timothee. She turns around to look at the screen behind her and turns back to the audience, “Honestly, I wouldn’t mind being sandwiched by these two either!” Then the audience cheers her on, Wendy laughs and clears her throat, “In all seriousness though, rumour has it that Timothee and Tom got into an altercation at Y/N’s LA home, and the next day she left the country. Literally. No reports of where she went off to but there were photos of her landing in LAX yesterday morning.”

The audience is awing and gasping, and some laughter in the background can be heard. Wendy puts on her reading glasses and looks at the reading card that is placed next to her mug, “According to neighbors, they seen the two boys throwing hands while Y/N was held back by one of Tom’s friend,” A photo of Harrison came up behind her as well, “He’s very cute as well.” She takes off her glasses as the audience is chuckling at her remarks, “Look, Y/N is very talented actress, and seems very business savvy.”

She crosses her arms on her seat while the audience begins to clap, “But-wait-wait, allegedly she has also dropped out of the film adaptation of Wicked due to this love triangle.” Wendy purses her lips, knowing damn well she was disappointed in you for bailing out of a job because of men, “Y/N is a friend of the show, but no tea, no shade but this is some high school stuff. Get it together girl. We still love you though.” The audience claps as she moves on to the next segment, your hands cover your mouth due to the shock of you watching this whole segment. Thankfully Manny stayed behind to help you out, this was embarrassing.

But it was true, Wendy publicly put you in your place in front of a huge audience. Thankfully you were alone on your private jet, and you spent the rest of the flight crying yourself to sleep.

You have your bags in hand as you approach Harrison waiting at his car, “Hey mate long time no see.” He walks towards you and gives you hug while you’re holding your luggage, “Haz, it’s so good to see you. You have no idea.” Your voice cracks a bit, your puffy eyes covered by your sunglasses. He pulls away, “Likewise.” He takes the luggage from your hands, and walks towards his car.

“Where’s Tom?” You ask as you approach his vehicle, he closes his trunk and lets out a light chuckle, “He’s back at his apartment with Tuwaine, Harry and Paddy. We were playing a hand of poker but I had to come get you.” He comes up to the driver side of his car and he gets in as you follow into the passenger seat. “Oh, I can’t just barge in like that, I thought he would be alone.”

Haz begins to drive back to Tom’s flat in Kingston, “Y/N, you’re kidding right? You know of Tuwaine and you know his brothers, they won’t mind you being there.” You remove your glasses from your eyes, “I just need to talk to him Haz, it’s important.” You turn to look at him and he takes a double look at you, “Geez have you been crying?” You put the glasses back on your eyes, “I don’t know. I seen Wendy Williams fucking cover a story about what happened. Just got to me.”

“Is that what you came to talk to Tom about?” He continues to drive, his hand gripping on the wheel tighter. “No, actually. I- it’s just super important Harrison.” He lets out a scoff, “C’mon you can tell me. Are you pregnant or something?” He lets out a light chuckle and expects you to laugh in return but when he doesn’t hear your response, only clatter coming from your bag. You clear your throat and intertwine your fingers together, before you can respond Haz is speaks in a shook tone, “I was only kidding but damn. Are you really?”

You shook your head, “I don’t know Harrison, maybe. I took a test, it was a positive. But I don’t know. I just need to talk to Tom.” You sigh, “it also doesn’t help that I miss him.” Harrison runs his hand through his hair and the back of his neck, “Shit, well my mate sure is gonna be shocked.” He lets out a crooked smile, “Nonetheless, He is going to be so happy to see you.”

You smirk, “hopefully, I don’t know how to even break this to him.”

“It doesn’t have to be the first thing you say to him Y/N.” You can ease your way into it.” He was right, you didn’t have to tell him right away but that was the reason why you were. Right?

It took a while to get to Tom’s flat due to traffic but it gave you enough time to catch up with Haz, and it honestly helped rest your anxiety a bit.

Harrison opens the door to his best mate’s flat, and in his immediate view all the boys are sitting at a poker table. Paddy gets up from his chair and goes up to Haz, “Did you bring any food?” He looks at Haz who promised him he would get him food, “Harrison, you liar! You owe me McDonald’s.” Tom, Tuwaine and Harry all laugh at the poker table at Paddy’s remark.

Harry scrunches up his nose, “Why do you have those bags? You moving in with Tom?” Tom’s back is faced to the door Harrison has entered through, “Only if he pays rent.” The guys at the table laugh, and that’s when they hear the voice of a familiar voice clear her throat, “Well then I’m going to need to pay rent too then.” The boys at the table all turn their head including Tom to find Y/N standing behind Harrison.

“Padsterman, is that you? You’re so big now.” Y/N says as she moves out of Haz’s shadow and into full view in Tom’s flat. Paddy smiles and runs into her arms, “Y/N!! I’ve missed you! My mum asks about you all the time!” You pull away from him and tap his nose, “Then I guess I’ll just have to pay her a visit then.” You give him a genuine smile and then look up to see the boys from the poker table standing up. Tom looks as if he’s in shock, a good one at least.

Tom’s brother Harry and Tuwaine are chugging down the last of their beers as they approach you and Harrison. Harry puts his beer down and approaches you, “It’s so good to see you Y/N, Paddy is being serious about my mum too.” You both go into a hug and you pull away with your hands still on his shoulders, “You’ve gotten taller. How are you?” He crosses his hands in confidence, “I’m good. Just finishing up my GCSEs. Speaking of that, I was wondering if I could film you for one of my film projects.”

You let out a chuckle and tuck your hair behind your ear, “That’s great. I would love to be directed by the famous Harry Holland, just let me know when.” Harry lets out an excited yes I’m a whisper and high fives Tuwaine. You didn’t really know Tuwaine so you stuck out your hand for a handshake while he came out you to give you a hug and picks you up off your feet. “I don’t give handshakes, just hugs.”

Haz pats his back, “Tuwaine, put her down mate.” As soon as he sets you down you let out a loud breath, “Nice to meet you, Tuwaine. I’m Y/N.” You laugh as you catch your breath, and then you make eye contact with Tom who is still standing by the poker table. You latch your hands together, your fingers intertwining nervously as you look at the boy you love across the room.

Harrison breaks the silence, “Well, let me give you guys a ride home. Tom? I’ll see you tomorrow for the premiere tomorrow, alright mate?” Tom nods his head yes and gives him tight lined smile. Paddy wanted to stay a bit longer but Harry explained that they had to go. And as the door shuts behind you, there is nothing left but you and Tom.

His eyes study you hard, wondering how you could even be in the same room with him. Y/N stands so still, waiting for Tom to say something but maybe this time she had to. The scab on his cheekbone gone, no bruises on his face as if the fight never happened. You take a step forward, almost like his energy is tugging you towards him.

Y/N drops her bags on her sides, “Tom..” his name rolls off your lips, tears building up as you slowly walk toward him. You somehow didn’t feel alone anymore, you had left him that night standing alone in Zendaya’s house and you somehow managed to find him standing in front of you. He is so still, silent. No words have escaped his lips, not even your name or anything.

Then he finally speaks, “About what happened with Timothée...I’m so sorry Y/N.” She stops just about a foot away from Tom, not sure if she would overstep boundaries. He continues, “I already had you and I screwed up so bad.” He sounds so hurt, he probably spent the last 3 weeks evaluating everything that’s happened too.

Their eyes still locked heavy on one another, he bites his bottom lip as he lets out an exasperated breath as if he had been holding it in since the moment he seen you. He brings his head to face the ground, and a few tear drops fall from his face. Y/N nose begins to scrunch as she tries to hold back tears, she hugs herself. Maybe Tom wasn’t ready to see her, maybe she had hurt him too bad.

Seeing Tom so vulnerable was bringing a bunch of feelings back, feelings that Y/N didn’t want. She couldn’t help it, when you’re in love..you’re in love. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Tom would always be her person. She was ready to forgive him, ready to just move on.

“I forgive you, Tom. I was just too scared to admit it.” As she begins to think about turning around to leave, he locks his eyes with her again, and wipes the tears rolling down his face. You could hear the jitter in his voice, “People that are meant to be together, always find their way back to each other right?”

Y/N lets out a crooked smile, and nods her head “Yes, Tom.” Tears start rolling down her cheeks, “I’m so sorry.” And before you knew it the man you loved was swinging his arms around you, bringing in you for what was a long needed embrace. He still loved you, and you still loved him. This was always meant to be. You and Tom were always meant to be. Your head is tucked into his neck, your lips kiss his collar bone lightly. You take this moment all in, you had missed this. You craved him, and he craved you too.

You pull back from his embrace, your noses brazing against each other. His hand lands on your neck, and pulls you in for a kiss. Your lips meet, and it’s like electricity being brought to life, your pretty faces igniting a fire that never burned out. You pull away, and bring your hands to his neck and look into his brown eyes, his face making your remember how much you wanted to be with him. But then again, you also remembered the real reason why you were here.

“Tom, I don’t even know how-” you’re interrupted by his soft voice, “I love you Y/N, I never thought you would come back.” You clear your throat, and guilt starts to set in. You were never going to come back, but being pregnant with his baby was the real reason that you were there. “Tom, I need to tell you-” Tom is too excited to listen, he’s never thought you would give him the light of day again. The guilt in you goes deeper.

He pulls you towards his living room, you follow him passing the poker table and onto his blue couch, Love Island is paused on the TV. He sits first and brings you to sit on his lap, your feet resting on the couch and your arm wrapped around his neck.

He was excited to have you back but he needed to know what was going, the real reason why you were. You move your arm from around his neck and bring your hands to your lap, the stress building up in your shoulders, “Listen, I just need you to know that after what I’m about to say, I hope you can be respectful and if you just want to be friends I get it but I didn’t come just come back for you.” Tom’s smile quickly disappears, the vibe between you two suddenly disappears like Thano’s finger snap. You jump off his lap and start pacing in his small living room.

He sits forward a bit, “Then why are you here?” You stop pacing, you bring yourself to your knees in front of him and both of your hands rest on your lips in a praying motion, “I’m pregnant, Tom.” He’s speechless for a moment, his jaw drops a bit letting out a slight scoff, “Are you sure?” You bite your bottom lip and shake your head no, your hands drop and warm up your thighs, you wanted more than just a cold response.

“I don’t know. I only took a test and it said yes, I just want you to know that this is happening, Tom...with or without you.” He runs his hands through his hair and lets out a sigh, “How did this even happen? You told me you were on the pill.”

Your pacing of words becomes more quick paced, “I am-well was. I didn’t know the implant in my arm is expired.” Y/N fidgets with her fingers while staring at the ground not too far from her, “Trust me Tom, I wouldn’t have let you go raw had I known that the implant was expired.” You look back up to find him staring back at you, “Maybe you can go with my mum to the family doctor ? Make sure its true?” You nod in agreement, and he lets out a crooked smile, he’s happy you didn’t fight back at his request. You at least owed him that.

Tom lets out a sigh, he missed you but he wasn’t going to tell you that now, “Where were you? I was so worried-you left out of the blue and you come back with this?” His eyes were a mix of everything, lost, sad, disappointed and you felt terrible about it to be completely honest. You wished that you could take it all back, you hated to see him like this, “I just needed time to myself, but had I known about this, I would’ve said something sooner.” You let out a sigh, and you didn’t know what else to say. Tom felt tired, the couple of beers he had earlier making him feel drowsy, “ Look, I have a busy day tomorrow...so I’m gonna get some sleep.” Tom gets up from the couch, he walks right past you as you stay kneeling.

While still kneeling, you turn around and call out for him, “Tom..” He turns around, and lets out a yawn, “Yes Y/N?” You get up and face him, he’s wearing a pair of jeans with a simple black shirt and his bare feet.

Y/N is still so in love with him, maybe this was all meant to happen. It is a little too late for a sorry now but you made your way towards him anyway, she grabs a hold of his hand, “Can I sleep with you?”

Tom was disappointed yes but he fought for your heart, so what was holding him back now? The fact that Y/N didn’t just come back just for him, but came with this news instead. He wanted to say no, he wanted not give a single fuck but he did. He really did, he loved her so much. He loved how her hair was tucked by her ear, and how she stood there holding his hand with such grace, how her crooked smile looked so beautiful.

Tom held her hand with both of his, and brought her knuckles up to his lips, and kissed them gently, “Yes, love. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” You both made your way to his bedroom, fingers still intertwined. You both make your way into his room and it’s exactly the way you remember it, you’ve missed this all so much. Tom pulls off his shirt and jeans, unmaking his bed to climb in it.

“Tom, I know what I said earlier was mean about just coming here because of being pregnant but.. I’m really happy that you’re even tolerating me.” He climbs into bed and moves the sheet down for you, “Lets just get some sleep, darling.” And that was it, no more words were shared, Y/N climbed into bed and was pulled in by Tom. His arms around her waist, and her hands resting on his chest, and they lie there and just take this moment all in. A moment they’d been wanting for weeks now.

Sleeping with Tom was like sleeping on cloud 9, Y/N had admitted to herself that she missed Tom. That she wanted to be with him, and if this pregnancy had done anything, it was going to tie both of you together for at least 18 years. Tom enjoyed you sleeping with him, he hated being alone. If he could, he would want you living with him instead of LA but he knew your life was over there.

Tom left his flat early to take care of some stuff for later that day, he had to run some errands but in truth he was only going to the gym and meeting Z to get you a dress for later. His treat, but what he didn’t let you know his mum was coming to see you .

You feel movement start suddenly while you’re in bed, as if someone was jumping on the bed. You feel licks on your face as you open one eye. It was Tessa, oh how you missed her. And then you hear a soft voice coming from the doorframe.

“Y/N? Sweetheart, wake up.” You felt a slight touch on your shoulder, and you open your eyes squinting a bit at the light hitting in the room, “Nikki?”

“Yes dear, Tom wanted me to come check up on you.” You sit up quickly, and move forward to hug her, you’re on your knees on the bed as you hug her. Tessa lightly scrapes your and Nikki’s arms, as she wants to be petted. You pull away from her embrace and turn to the grey dog next to you, “Hi Tessa. I’ve missed you.” Y/N lets Tessa lick her cheek and she rubs Tessa on her head.

Nikki smiles and rubs Tessa’s lower back, “So, I’ve talked to Tom...how are you feeling?” Y/N continues to pet Tess, becoming a little more serious, “I’m okay. Has Tom told you everything?” She nods slowly, “Accidents happen love. You have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow with our family doctor.”

Nikki tucks a hair behind your ear, and her hand moves from her ear to your chin, “I’m here for you both.” You give her crooked smile, “Thank you. I’ve missed you so much.” She gives you a cheeky smile, “Me too. I was actually hoping you would come with me to give Tessa a walk, it could help with your nausea or any bloating.”

You scratch your head, “I haven’t really had any, is that normal?” Nikki stands up and gets Tessa off the bed, “It depends, not all women experience those symptoms.” Y/N stands up from the bed, “Let me change real quick, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Tom’s mom nods her head, and takes Tessa off the bed and closes the door behind them. Y/N quickly changers into some leggings and a tank top, and wears some Nike’s she had brought. Nikki and Y/N had walked about 4 miles in total, and conveniently passed by a chemist’s shop in which Y/N wanted to grab a drink.

Nikki had to wait outside with Tessa while Y/N went inside. For some reason, Y/N itched to buy another pregnancy test. Nikki had caused her to have some sort of doubt, she’s had no symptoms of bloating. And she couldn't separate her nausea from her anxiety. Maybe the test she took was defective, grabbing another test would give her some peace of mind. She bought the other test and a water to quench her thirst.

Y/N stuck the test in her small backpack before exiting outside, she didn’t want Nikki to see. It was almost tempting to run back to Tom’s flat, she was so curious to take the test. Maybe you were confusing symptoms with your anxiety, but it didn’t make sense. The test you took was positive so why would this be any different? You just wanted to make sure you were.

As you entered Tom’s flat, Nikki walked back home with Tess and remarked she would see you and Tom back in London for the premiere. You had forgotten about that, but you didn’t have anything to wear for that so why would you go? Y/N takes the test out of her bag, and runs to the restroom in Tom’s flat. She does the same thing she did back in LA, she waited for the test’s result on top of the basin when she heard Tom’s voice calling for her, “Y/N, are you in here?”

For some reason she began to panic, and quickly jumped off the sink. She grabs the box and the test into the trash, piling on toilet paper to hide it. Y/N didn’t know why she was so afraid for Tom to see the test, she didn’t want him to feed into her self-doubt. She quickly hurries out of the bathroom, “I’m right here.” Y/N and Tom crash into each other’s arms, “Darling, lets go. Zendaya and Harrison are waiting for us at a hotel in London.” You stand confused, “What? I don’t even have anything to wear, Tom.”

“Don’t worry darling, I got you covered.” Tom gives you a grin, and pulls you out of his flat. Both of your hands intertwining as you both make way to the car waiting for you both outside. Y/N sits comfortably in the car with Tom, not knowing about the negative pregnancy test that lies in the trash can in his bathroom.

A/N: ugh, there I go again with that cliffhanger. I feel like this chapter was super boring but its going to pick up in the next one, I promise! Anyway, I truly hope you’re enjoying this mess of a story. Also feedback from y’all really helps me navigate the story so please flood my inbox haaha. -AMY 💛💛💛 (I don’t think I missed anyone on the tags but if I did, let me know please and if they dont work im so sorryyyyyyy.)

Taglist: @smexylemony @ladybirduris@princesssparklesxo@llamazarecoolaf@minispidey @devillinchi @superleftoveraddiction@justapotatonow @peterxbarnes @thoughtfulbonkeggbat @unicornio-vomita-mierdas@standingintheclubwateronthecouch @omalleysreads

#tom holland #tom holland series #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fan fic #tom #holland #fan fic #reader x tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #all we have is now #Nikki holland #harry holland #paddy holland #imagines #imagine #london #y/n x tom holland

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hellforcertain · 6 years

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i like how one of the few reasons i can pinpoint when about i got sick is that i can use snowmageddon (late 2014/early 2015) as a starting point

this is really long and i’d appreciate you not reblogging this but i don’t think i’ve ever written any of this out, and i would keep it private somewhere else but i kinda want to feel idk. validated? i never really put it into words like this until now. would also appreciate if you respond to this in some way (either a like or a reply) if you read it.

[cw for suicidal ideation in one part; skip the paragraph that begins “at some point that spring...”, after i talk abt my grandpa, if you don’t want to read it. it’s referenced in the next paragraph too. idk if there’s anything else i really need to warn for, but tell me if i do.]

i injured my knee thanksgiving 2013, when i was a sophomore. i was hiking in the hills around my parents’ house with some of my cousins, and it had snowed recently so everything was slick and slippery, and at one point my feet slid out from under me and i tumbled down an incline until my right knee connected with a tree. that thankfully stopped my fall but like, at what cost.

it was so bad that jo had to half-support me walking the couple blocks from our dorms to tufts to have an x-ray done in december 2013, which had been recommended by emerson’s health center (which was a joke; when i saw... i think an NP, she had to flip through a book until she found the “knee” section before she examined me). i couldn’t attend several classes of one of my courses the rest of that semester bcos it was in the building furthest from my dorm and i could barely walk there; i barely made it to the final. i never heard from the health center about the x-ray, so i figured that at least it wasn’t broken. it still bothered me but it became more manageable than it had been (not entirely tho bcos iirc i failed or didn’t complete two courses spring 2014, but that was also bcos of the undiagnosed adhd).

i moved directly into the studio from my sophomore dorm in may 2014, and lived there until june 2015 (which encompassed my junior year until i dropped out in november 2014).

my parents wanted me to fly down to spend a week in florida with them in august 2014, and i think this is what happened: the morning before i left on that flight i rolled off my futon badly and banged my bad knee against the (hardwood) floor really hard. i was in pain for a lot of that trip -- flying certainly didn’t help matters -- and when i got back it didn’t get better so i bought a cane a couple weeks before classes started back so i could get used to it before i had to use it to get to class.

(at the end of that trip, my mom forced me to let her clean out my ear with a qtip, jabbed it in too far and fucked up my ear, and then the next day i got on a plane back to boston and the issue got so bad i couldn’t walk down the street without holding onto a wall. i don’t think my eardrum burst or anything because it was better by the time i actually got to see a specialist about it and i haven’t suffered any permanent effects from it as far as i can tell, but at times it felt like it.)

i bought a cane in mid august 2014, and i know bcos i ordered it off amazon. the florida trip might have been in mid august, so there’s a possibility i banged my knee on the floor before the florida trip, and bought the cane when i realized i wouldn’t be able to walk in florida without it.

i know i reinjured my knee in august 2014, and i know i bought a cane then, and i know i also damaged my eardrum in august 2014 when i was in florida (well, my mom damaged it). i’m not sure exactly what order those took place in.

it got worse as the semester progressed, and i started doing less and less well in my courses, because not only was i dealing with the still-undiagnosed adhd, i was also in a lot of pain all the time. i remember making the conscious decision to stop going to my spanish class bcos the professor would have us stand up and walk around the class and talk to each other a lot and i couldn’t manage standing up for even that long, and i was so scattered and so fucked up from middle & high school that i couldn’t ask for help and the easier option was just to stop attending. i made the decision to go on medical leave late that semester -- probably in november or december 2014, i can’t remember which. there was the death of a family friend who i had been close to around that time too, and i was in too much pain and too swamped with trying to catch up on all these courses i hadn’t been attending to fly to florida and attend her funeral, which was another stone on top of all the others weighing me down (when i told my parents i had dropped out, i told them that it was her death that sent me into a breakdown, which wasn’t entirely a lie; i just didn’t tell them i’d been having a breakdown for months up until then).

i started getting sick and feeling pain that i couldn’t explain at all -- sure, i knew why my knee hurt, but i didn’t know why my joints were stiff and painful, and why i was hurting randomly separately from the joint pain. it got so bad that some days i had to crawl to get to the bathroom, and it was only a handful of steps away from my bed. i stopped doing my t shots bcos it was too much effort when i hurt so much already -- it got to the point that my periods started back up again, though i only had them very rarely. i think the only thing i managed to do was go to my shifts as desk guy in one of the dorms on campus.

when i went to visit my parents at some point, my mom thought it was just bcos i needed to get in shape and lose some weight to lessen the stress on my bad knee. tbh i don’t know when that happened, i just knew it was when i was still a student bcos i went to the gym once with a friend and it was really fuckin painful and terrible and just made everything worse. she might have said that when we were in florida, actually. idk.

living in the studio meant i lived totally alone, but jo was there a lot bcos i had an extra bed (i’d bought a loft bed bcos i wanted one and had never had one as a kid and this place had high ceilings, but i’d also bought a futon for cheap off a guy who was moving out of the building, which turned out to be a real blessing when i couldn’t make it up the ladder to the loft bed; when jo stayed at the computer labs late working on projects, they’d come crash on my loft bed bcos my building was near campus and by the time the labs closed, the t had stopped running) and i made kinda-friends with the security desk guy

that fall and winter i’d say i saw delivery guys more often than i saw my own friends (bcos i literally couldn’t handle the walking that grocery shopping would have required, and i didn’t know abt grocery delivery services at the time. idk if they were even a thing at the time). all “groceries” were bought at the cvs down the block, bcos they had things like butter and shredded cheese and tortillas (i ate a lot of tortillas that year) and pre-cut fruit, and the walgreens across the street from cvs had frozen burger patties that i think set off the smoke alarm every time i cooked them; anything else i ate was from delivery guys. i dissociated a lot that year, very very badly, and some delusional tendencies i’d had in high school came rearing back up.

bcos i couldn’t do much else i threw myself into this site (esp on one of my sideblogs), and if you look at the amount of stuff i reblogged/posted then vs now you’d see that i had p much no other life. which was... not good but i also made some really good and valuable friendships then -- including em so like, not everything from then turned out bad. sadly, a lot of irl friendships stagnated, and it wasn’t the other party’s fault. i also played a lot of skyrim bcos it was one of like. two games i owned for my ps3, and even though the rest of me hurt a lot, my hands were surprisingly okay.

(i also went through a series of nb identities and pronouns that never really fit bcos that was the heyday of tumblr’s whole “if ur a trans man ur evil for wanting to be a man, u should be nb instead” phase and i was far too concerned with all that bcos like i said, i didn’t have much of a life outside this site at the time.)

i don’t recall much of thanksgiving or christmas breaks at my parents’, except that i got my name legally changed during i think christmas break 2014. iirc we had to reschedule my flight back to boston bcos i had to wait an extra day to be able to get everything done that i needed to, and bcos we needed to change the name on the flight. i remember crying at some official bcos they said that they couldn’t get me a new... driver’s license maybe? until a couple days down the road, but i had to be back for college by then and i have everything else done please just let me get my license today. and since it’s a small town in the south they totally folded, thankfully. i was just very stressed at that point, i hadn’t even meant to cry at them.

then snowmageddon happened in early 2015, and classes were cancelled and roads were closed and the t like, half shut down until like may. it was especially bad for me because most of my friends were in allston and they couldn’t exactly get downtown to hang out with me much. iirc, my friend who was an RA left college around the same time i did, maybe a few months before? i think i was still working desk shifts when they left, so it had to have been before i did.

march 2015 was good and bad: during jo’s spring break (and what would have been mine if i had still been in college), we escaped the snow and took their car on a roadtrip down the blue ridge parkway (well. that was the plan but it was closed thanks to the snow, so we drove down I-95 and ended up in asheville nc like two days after our leisurely road trip started. i turned 21 on that roadtrip, and so no longer had to rely on my friends to buy me alcohol, which was nice. we celebrated it at this local restaurant in whatever town we’d stopped at that night, and all i remember is that you could buy steaks from a counter at the front, and the drink i ordered for myself was incredibly orange.

my grandpa also died that march; he’d actually been dying since february, but i didn’t go to see him then; jo and i were in knoxville tn at one point, and my parents wanted me to drive up since knoxville is only like three hours from my hometown, but by then he was p much in a coma so it wouldn’t really be visiting, would it, and also it would have been mega unfair to drag jo into that mess. iirc his funeral was that april, bcos there was a funeral service at my parents’ church where he occasionally preached at, and then one at the mennonite church he attended after moving in with us, and then they had to get him to ohio for the big service (which was the one i attended).

(this was the grandpa who thought i was possessed by a demon for being trans so like. lmao. didn’t mourn him much then, and still haven’t.)

at some point that spring, after the spring break roadtrip and grandpa’s funeral, my dysphoria got really really really bad, bad enough to trigger the most suicidal episode i’d had since middle school/high school. it was a culmination of the negative thoughts and feelings i’d been having since i moved into this place (which had only worsened as i got sicker and when winter hit). i didn’t do anything, but i had to call a friend every time i left the building for like a week so that i didn’t walk into traffic.

i moved out of the studio at the end of april or may of 2015, and went back to live with my parents for a bit because the lease for my text apartment didn’t start until september 2015 (since i was living with friends/former classmates who were still in school and weren’t going to be in boston until classes started back up in september). moving out was an Ordeal bcos my dad came up to help me and brought my sister, who hated boston so much that she was on the edge of a panic attack the whole time, which made her impossible to deal with. at one point we got into a fight over something super minor and it escalated and ended with her screaming at the top of her lungs, in my empty echoey studio that had the door open so god and all my neighbors could hear, that she wished i was dead. this was not the first or last time she expressed this sentiment, and was tame compared to some (like the time she said she’d stab me in my sleep). i told her i’d been suicidal weeks earlier and she left the building to go take something to the car and when i didn’t follow her (bcos i was cooling off), she freaked out and had a panic attack all over our dad. she didn’t tell him why, or that she was at fault, and when i came down a few minutes later he ripped into me until i stopped and told him what she had said. so, yknow. a fun final memory of that apartment.

i think that was when my mom finally acknowledged that my pain wasn’t just a weight thing, and that i should actually see someone when i got back to boston. my symptoms got worse too: i started having horrible pain in my hands, to the point that i couldn’t move them, and none of us really knew what to do. i found some compression gloves online and begged my mom to let me get them but she kept refusing because she was worried i’d mess my hands up worse with them, and i still don’t entirely understand that train of thought, because i was like, screaming crying at them because i was hurting so so much, and some compression gloves couldn’t have been worse than that (and i finally pointed out that they were gloves; i could take them off if they were hurting more than helping). they finally relented, thankfully.

june 2015 was the first time i met em in person; i decided, almost on impulse, to take a week and drive down to florida and spend the week with them bcos they were living with their grandparents at the time and their grandparents were going to be out of town for like a week. they played a lot of fnv on their ps3 while i played don’t starve on my laptop. the place had a guest bedroom that was technically mine, but i don’t think i ever used it except to get changed; we tended to pass out in weird positions on em’s bed. we didn’t get much else done bcos i discovered that florida weather + my joints wasn’t a great combo, but it was still an amazing week.

that same summer i also got fitted for my knee brace. i think that same summer i got some treatments from a sports medicine doctor my mom is friends with. possibly steroid injections? i’d have to ask her.

i moved into the medford house with some friends in september 2015, and dear lord was that a mess. the roommates were great, don’t get me wrong, but the house had mice we had to take care of, there was a gas leak at one point bcos the stove’s knobs didn’t work right and didn’t shut off the gas when we turned them off, the boiler was a broken leaky piece of shit that would shut itself off every like two days bcos the water level got so low (contrast the place we’re living in now, where we had to go put more water in the boiler maybe like. three times all winter), the landlord and his wife were total creeps and freaks -- he would only respond to my email even though my roommates tried to open lines of communication at various times, and one time i woke up with her in my bedroom bcos she was checking the radiator (which wasn’t working bcos the boiler wasn’t working and they refused to fix or replace it until winter was over) and she had the audacity to chew me out for my space heater. i was fucking sick, lady. give me a fucking break. the best thing, hands down, about the medford place was there was a corner store with a good deli across the street, so i could go in my pajamas to get a good sandwich and a box of fries. great place, great people.

i got referred to a rheumatologist that fall, and my first appointment with him was in november (i also at some point... i think in spring of 2015 started using testogel, because i wouldn’t have been able to get the stuff for injections refilled while i was in kentucky. i don’t remember when i switched back to injections but i did at some point while living at the medford house, which i once again was terrible at keeping up with).

at the time, my deadname was still on my insurance bcos even tho i’d changed my name earlier that year, i was still on my parents’ insurance and my dad wouldn’t fucking change my name there and wouldn’t give me the information to do it myself. my rheumatologist took one look at me and how i was responding to being called my deadname, and he asked if there was another name i went by that i’d be more comfortable with, and i was rarely called my deadname again after that (and only by a couple nurses until they got to know me better). ofc that stopped being an issue when i switched to my own masshealth plan (in early 2017 i think?).

he listened to the whole mess of a story, felt my joints, and then poked at the middle of my chest (which i now know is a common fibro trigger point). when i recoiled back bcos that hurt far more than it should have, he said “yep that looks fibro-y.” i don’t remember if i suggested fibro and/or rheumatoid arthritis, or if he did. he prescribed me some medications -- including tramadol, my savior that winter. i’d been taking tramadol already bcos i’d had some left over from... i think lasik, and a friend had given me some percocet for very bad days. i was so unused to the tramadol back then that it’d throw me for a loop, occasionally make me nauseated, and also knock me out. it was p great.

back then i’d have to ask my roommate danny to open like, water or pop bottles nine times out of ten bcos i just couldn’t. now, i can’t remember the last time i had a serious problem opening bottles on a consistent basis. there have been some bad days where i couldn’t, but it’s not like that’s all the time.

i improved in fits and starts after that; i can’t remember all the meds i tried with him, but i’m sure they’re in a file somewhere that i could request. i still wasn’t doing anywhere near good, but it was better than before -- if only, maybe, bcos i wasn’t dealing with this totally on my own. but you know what didn’t help? that house’s terrible fucking boiler. we’d wake up some days in the middle of winter and it’d be in the 50s inside the house, and i was the only one who knew how to fix the boiler (i’d taught the roommates, including the subletter we got when danny left for a semester in LA, but apparently the only one who could go down the stairs to take care of it was the fuckin cripple).

spring 2016 was awesome bcos i’d gotten a ps4 and destiny for christmas, and the subletter we got had two cats who i loved and who loved me, and everything was beautiful even tho i definitely still hurt a lot. i can’t remember much of note during this period, health-wise. it was mostly more of the same, but on top of it was trying to balance playing a shooter and having shitty hands that didn’t want me down anything with them.

summer 2016, when i was still in the medford house, em came to visit me (among other people -- they roadtripped up over the course of a couple weeks) and spent several days there. i had plans to take them to do touristy stuff in boston, but that never happened haha. and like we don’t have a solid date on when we got together bcos long-distance stuff can be fuzzy about things like that but that visit was our first kiss.

in september 2016 i moved into the allston apartment, and the less i say about that the better. i started back with a therapist in like february 2017; i hadn’t been to a therapist for years by this time, bcos my previous therapist had moved to a different office in the network and then left the area and i had never gotten back in touch with her after she moved to the other office. i also started on testopel, because injections were once again not working out.

that apartment was p much like living in the studio bcos even tho i had two roommates, it was an apartment i’d found in an emerson group centered on finding roommates, so i hadn’t known either of them beforehand; i wasn’t really living with them; we just happened to share some common spaces. health-wise i improved some as we found medications that worked for me, but i was still not doing even close to good. i had trouble going grocery shopping even though the grocery store was only a handful of blocks away because various parts of me would hurt too much to handle it, and by the time i was halfway home i would be almost dead. so, yknow. not a great time overall.

in september of 2017 i moved into this house with em and jo, and it’s been a fantastic decision bcos im finally living with people who care about me and will kick my ass into shape if i need it. em finally made me go to my rheumatologist and be like “so i know i’ve been saying i’ve been fine but i moved in with my partner recently and they’ve pointed out that im doing less fine than i said bcos i’d brushed off a lot of things as normal that they’ve told me are not, in fact, normal”, which was when he prescribed flexeril, and i think that’s helped me more than almost anything else has. holy shit. im taking a higher dose than my father (who’s like 6′1″ and has at least a hundred pounds on me) can handle but it’s working for me. i also went back to t injections a couple months ago bcos i didn’t enjoy missing everything for a week bcos it took forever for the testopel spot to heal, and i couldn’t sit on the spot until it healed; plus now that i’m living with em, they can remind me when i forget to do my shot. also, after a lot of fits and starts and panic over the last few years, im finally talking with a surgeon about top surgery.

overall like, i went back and looked at a lot of posts i made several years ago to get dates for this point, and i can barely recognize myself in some of those posts. my illnesses had ground everything else away, until all that was the physical pain and the emotional anguish, and i wish i could tell my past self that it gets better: that he’ll find medications that work for him and he’ll move in with people who he loves and love him back, and that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows here in 2018 but it’s so much better. 2015 me definitely deserved that.

and that’s true: that i’m not cured, and i still have very bad days, but i’m also having more and more good days -- days that were unthinkable back then. i’m on medications that help me physically, and i’ve been diagnosed with adhd and am on a medication that helps me mentally. when i flew down to kentucky earlier this month to attend my sister’s graduation, my dad remarked on how much better i was walking and moving just compared to thanksgiving. i can’t even imagine comparing myself now to myself a few years ago. i think i’m going to save this post so that when i’m feeling down about being sick, i can remind myself how far i’ve come, and how much i’ve weathered so far; whatever storm comes next, i think i’ll be able to handle it.

idk where i was trying to go with this, but it ended up a super overly long chronicle of the last few years. so uh. yeah. like i mentioned before, i’d appreciate if you show that you read all this, either with a like or a reply, esp if you get to the end

#nick gets personal #not 4 ur blog #fibro diaries

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ponyregrets · 7 years

Text

When Asked to Make a Point, I Tend to Whisper

Just some quick Minty fluff for @madgesundersee! Also on AO3.

Nate would not say he identifies as a caretaker. It's not like he's bad at it, but he doesn't think it comes naturally to him. He has to work for it.

Part of that is Bellamy's fault. After all, when your best friend is basically the ultimate mother hen/parent friend, and his girlfriend worries about things on a semi-professional level, it's hard to feel as if you're really necessary for the whole process. Like cooking for yourself when your roommate is a five-star chef who's happy to share--sure he could help out in a crisis situation, but it's a lot easier to just let Bellamy and Clarke tell him what to do.

But now Monty is sick. And he's the kind of sick where Bellamy and Clarke aren't going to go over to his apartment to babysit him, because they (thankfully) still have some sense of boundaries, which means that Monty is alone, and sick, and kind of miserable, and Nate's not really willing to let him do that alone.

Overall, it's a terrible situation and Nate wishes none of them were in it. But they are, so he's going to do his fucking best.

"Are you dying?" is Bellamy's greeting when he picks up the phone.

"Why would I be dying?" Nate grumbles. "I'm at CVS."

"You've never called me," says Bellamy. "Like, ever. In our entire lives. I honestly thought this was a butt dial."

"That's how you answer butt dials? Are you dying?"

"Better safe than sorry. Seriously, why are you calling? What are you doing in CVS?"

Nate exhales, counts to five in his head, and admits, "I'm making a care package for Monty. What should I get?"

To his credit, Bellamy recognizes that now is not the time for mockery. The time for mockery is definitely whenever Monty is better and Nate is just pining away embarrassingly again. As is the natural order of things.

"Which CVS are you at? Davis?"

"Yeah."

"Don't buy canned soup. He's sick, he deserves fresh soup. I'm going to find a place for you to get some. Are you assuming he has medicine?"

"Jesus, I'm already sorry I asked."

"Actually, I bet Clarke knows." There's a fuzzy sound as Bellamy covers the speaker, but Nate can still hear him say, "Clarke, how's Monty doing with medicine?" A pause, and then Bellamy, "Cough drops would be good."

"You guys are creepy."

"You called me. Because you're making a care package. So I'd shut the fuck up if I were you."

"Thanks, good feedback. What else?"

The problem with asking Bellamy for advice on what to buy for a sick friend is that he's honestly completely over the top, but he's also right. So Nate leaves CVS with a completely excessive amount of stuff, all of which felt totally necessary when Bellamy was listing it off.

"I still need soup?" he asks, dubious.

"Just if you want him to feel better," says Bellamy, and Nate sighs.

His excuse for doing this in the first place is that he and Monty don't live that far apart, and Monty's roommate is out of town. But the real reason he's doing it is that he has a crush, and he's worried, and he doesn't like the idea of Monty alone. It's weird, but survivably weird, even if Monty is creeped out.

Again, it's the beauty of Bellamy.

"If he thinks this is too much, I'm going to say it was your idea."

"If he thinks this is too much, you should say you want to date him. That would explain it and you might actually get laid."

"Helpful," says Nate.

"You have any idea how many times you told me I should just ask Clarke out already? Because I don't. You said it way too much. I lost count."

"Yeah, but I was right."

"Uh huh. Get the fucking soup, Miller."

He gets the fucking soup, and Bellamy wishes him luck, and then, because he’s Bellamy, adds, “Let me know how he’s doing.”

“Is there some kind of Guinness record for worrying you're trying to set?”

“You called me. I was just going to let him take care of himself. Don't act like this was all my idea.”

It’s an annoyingly valid point that Nate can’t really dispute, so he ignores it. “I’ll keep you posted,” he says instead.

“You’re an asshole,” says Bellamy. “Don’t get sick.”

“If I do, you’ll take care of me.”

“Shut up,” he says, without heat, and then the line goes dead.

He is, Nate has to admit, a basically perfect best friend.

Nate and Monty live in the same neighborhood, just in different directions from the train. He couldn’t casually stop by Monty’s on his way home, which is part of why he just called Bellamy for the CVS run. He is obviously and undeniably going out of his way, so he might as well do it right.

He pushes the buzzer at Monty’s apartment and waits for the intercom to crackle into life. It doesn’t take long, which means Monty was neither asleep nor dead. So that’s something.

“Hey, it’s Miller,” he says.

There’s a pause. “Miller?”

“Thought you might need some stuff.”

The door clicks open, and Nate heads up the two flights of stairs to Monty’s floor. He hasn’t been here a lot, but he knows which apartment is Monty and Jasper’s. And even if he didn’t, they have a Star Trek doormat, so he would have figured it out.

Monty opens the door in nothing but a pair of pajama pants. His hair is in uneven spikes on his head, and it’s a good thing he’s sniffling and visibly exhausted, or Nate would probably be too attracted to him to function.

“Miller,” he says, sounding kind of blank.

Nate holds up his bag. “I brought soup.”

Monty blinks a few times, and then actually startles into alertness. “Oh my god, you brought me soup.”

“Yeah,” he says. “And some other stuff.”

For the first time, Monty looks away from Nate’s face to focus on the bags he’s carrying, and his eyes widen in surprise.

“Holy shit, you brought me a lot of soup.”

“Most of it isn’t soup. Can I come in or you just want me to drop it off and leave?”

“No!” he says quickly. He clears his throat. “Come in. Obviously. Thank you so much. You really didn’t have to. I told Clarke I was fine.”

“It’s not like it’s far for me.”

“But still. You didn’t have to.”

“No problem, I don’t mind. Go sit down. You hungry now? Want the soup? Juice? Cough drops?”

“Soup would be good. What kind of soup?”

“Chicken noodle. The standard.”

“Seriously, thank you so much. I think there’s cranberry juice in the fridge? And obviously, you know, whatever you want, it’s—“

The end of his sentence is lost in a fit of coughing, and Nate gets him soup, juice, and some cough syrup before he goes back to the kitchen to unload the rest of the stuff. It is a lot of stuff, but it wasn’t that expensive, and Jasper’s gone until next week. Honestly, he should just text Monty to see if he needs anything on his way home from now on. Now that the ice is broken.

“Are you washing my dishes?” Monty calls.

It’s a question Nate doesn’t want to answer, but it’s also hard to avoid. “You’ve got a dishwasher. I’m just rinsing them before they go in. Go to sleep.”

It doesn’t work, of course. Monty comes into the kitchen wrapped in a blanket and collapses into a chair.

“How much is Bellamy paying you?”

“He’s not paying me. I don’t mind.”

“I’m really fine. Okay, not fine,” he corrects, before Nate can object. “But I can wash my own dishes. This is seriously not necessary.”

“It’s fine, Monty. I know Jasper’s out of town. I don’t mind helping. You should just focus on getting better.”

He blinks a few more times. “Is this a fever dream? If you’re a fever dream, can you tell me you’re a fever dream? Do you know?”

“Do you have a fever now?” Nate asks. “I thought it was just a cold.”

“I no longer trust my perception of reality. Please stop doing my dishes.”

He snorts. “I had no idea it was that weird.”

“They’re my dishes.”

“Well, they’re done now. So you’re good. Did you actually eat the soup?”

“Some of it, yeah. Just—you’re here.”

“I can leave.”

“No, that’s not—“ He makes a face. “I didn’t expect Bellamy and Clarke to send a representative. I told them I was fine.”

“Like I said, it’s not far.” Since Monty has now twice told him not to leave, he figures he can press his luck. “Want to watch a movie?”

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah.”

He opens and closes his mouth, finally settles on, “What did you have in mind?”

Nate bites back on his grin. “Whatever you want. Sick guy picks.”

“Thanks,” he says. “You know, for the whole deal.”

“No problem. My pleasure.”

He texts Monty to ask if he needs anything Wednesday and Thursday, and when the answer is no both times, he says he’s coming over on Friday and asks what to bring, which works a lot better and means Monty gets groceries. He’s clearly most of the way better, and they play some video games and Nate leaves in good spirits. He might not be great at this, but he did his best. He definitely didn't make it worse.

The next Thursday, his own door buzzer goes off around 6:15, which he doesn’t connect to the whole sickness thing until he turns on the intercom and a voice says, “Hey, it’s Monty, I have pizza.”

Nate takes a second to assess himself; he changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants after he got home, but it’s not like those are inappropriate for company. He thinks he looks fine, and Monty would probably find it weird if he asked for time to change.

“Uh, cool,�� he says. “Come on up.”

When he opens the door, Monty is there, holding a pizza, as promised. He looks better, less pale and more rested, his hair a little more orderly. He's still Monty, so he's wearing jeans and a Mario t-shirt, but that's part of why Nate likes him.

He still has no idea what's happening.

"Hey," he says. "What's up?"

"I owed you. So--pizza."

"You really didn't. You were sick, I was closest. I didn't mind helping out. But I never say no to pizza," he adds. "Come on in. You ready for alcohol or still feeling sick?"

"I'm always ready for alcohol."

"Beer good?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"You can put the pizza on the coffee table, I'll grab drinks and plates."

They get set up in the living room, and Nate wants to ask why Monty's really here, but he's kind of afraid that if he does, Monty will decide to leave. It makes no fucking sense, but he knows better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.

So it's Monty who offers, "Clarke told me that she and Bellamy didn't tell you to come over last week."

Nate's taking a bite of pizza that he nearly chokes on, and he has to finish it and have some beer before he manages, "What?"

"I thought they made you come. Clarke told me it was your idea, not theirs."

Nate reviews the interaction he had with Monty last week, but he's pretty sure he never actually said Bellamy and Clarke sent him. He just sort of let Monty assume. "Yeah. I was worried, I live close by, it wasn't like it was hard to stop by."

"And you called Bellamy to find out what to get."

That makes him feel a little more embarrassed. Calling Bellamy is a lot of effort. "Well, he's the expert. I figured he'd know."

"Yeah." He wets his lips. "So, that was either really considerate of you as a friend or really considerate of you as someone who wants to date me. Which, like, I guess that's true of everything? Not always considerate, but, like--" He huffs. "Anyway. You could tell me which one? Just in case it's, you know, the dating me one. Which would be cool. I'd like that. But if it's not I appreciate it and I'm sorry if I made things weird and--"

"It's the dating one," Nate says. "You can breathe."

He grins. "Oh, good. Because the pizza was supposed to be a first date if you were interested, so--are you free tonight?"

Nate feels a smile tugging at his own lips. "Not anymore."

"Perfect," says Monty.

He leans in for a kiss, and, Nate has to admit, it really is perfect.

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sending-the-message · 7 years

Text

My first job by SirVoidberg

I remember how long it took to finally land my first job. At the time I was about seventeen years old, give or take a few months. School wasn't for me so I had dropped out a year prior to seek a life of creativity in music, writing, art and film. Of course, looking back now, I was an idiot to have dropped out. But this isn't a story about the dangers of not staying in school, no, this is about what happened at my first job.

Months had flown by and every day I would find another email saying that I wasn't quite what they were after. That euphoric feeling of seeing that little 're:' pop up in my inbox followed by a disheartening defeat. Over and over again. At this point my case worker at the work and income office set me up with a short hospitality course. There I learned how to make coffee, put together a half decent CV with whatever little qualifications I had, and in turn forced me out to go door-to-door in town to find anything.

Every day I would go to the next cafe, the next retail store, the next office, handing over my resume. Nobody wanted to hire some high school dropout. As I traveled deeper and deeper into town, I finally found something. Parallel to a main road was a side street that had a few cafe’s and shops that might have something. Halfway along this street, after many ‘we will call you’s’, I came across an old Cinema.

The place looked like it was stuck in the 70’s. Had that old school sign system outside where you would have to change each letter by hand whenever a new movie came in or an old movie was sent off. The lobby within was just as dated, with retro red leather couches along the walls and atrociously patterned linoleum floors, illuminated by faded orange lights.

I made my way in with a confident walk and went straight for the counter. Nobody was around, though it was the middle of the day, so I let my eyes wander as I waited to be noticed. Along with the main counter where you would buy tickets, popcorn, and candy there was also a bar attached. A beer while watching a movie? Now that sounded like a great time!

Suddenly a door behind the counter opened up and a young woman, dressed in a black and red vest uniform, jogged out. She apologized for the wait and asked how she could help me. My initial confidence dropped as I couldn’t help but check out how absolutely gorgeous she was. After a short pause I pulled out a CV and told her I was looking for work. Her face lit up, those emerald green eyes looking me over ecstatically. They were actually looking to hire! The place was very understaffed and a young person who has time was exactly what they were after. She gave me a form to fill out and said they would call as soon as they could.

+++

It wasn’t long, maybe a week, until I got the call to come trial. I got to know the other staff quite well, there were only a few of us after all. At first I was scheduled on for just day shifts, which was great as I got to work with Sarah, the girl who helped me get this job. We got along great, had amazing banter, and it just made every day a dream. As time went on one of the night staff resigned which opened up more hours which I gladly took.

My first night I was shown how to close up by David, one of the supervisors. It was pretty easy, usually only took one person to close the cinema while the manager stayed in the main office doing paper work. We only had six movies running, and everything was timed to finish one after the other, so you could go in and clean up one before going straight to the next.

As myself and David checked each cinema he began to tell me a story. Last year, while closing up, one of the female staff members had a terrifying run in with a ‘crazy guy’. They were waiting on the last cinema which had a few tickets sold. The last patrons finally left so she went in to clean up the spilt popcorn and check the fire exits. After getting halfway through the rows of chairs the staff member suddenly saw a man ‘physically crumpled’ under one of the furthest seats. They called out to them and apparently he just started screaming ‘My friends are coming! My Friends are coming!”

Immediately she ran away to get the manager, a large South African man, who quickly called the police. He threatened that if they weren’t here fast enough he was going to kill this screaming man. The police soon arrived but before they entered the cinema the man had sprung out from the chair and clambered down the rows of seats to the fire exit. They never managed to catch him, and the girl who was working there never did a night shift again.

Seeing as it was close to midnight I was pretty spooked by this story. The way David described how the man was crumpled under the seat really got to me. Each of the seats barely had enough room for a bag to be put under them, let alone a full grown man! Luckily for us, nothing too scary happened that night, and soon enough I was heading home on my pedal bike.

+++

A year had gone by and I had began working at the bar within the cinema. It was really cool learning how to make cocktails, pouring beautiful girls glasses of wine, and chatting with film lovers about what was showing at the time. The time I spent searching for my first job had paid off and I was actually loving life! I had moved out of my parents house, had a whole bunch of money saved up, and had made some great friends at the cinema. Plus I got to see all the movies for free.

Everything was going perfectly until something went horribly, horribly wrong. It was a cold Autumn night and I was waiting for the last movies to finish up. At the time it was just myself and Sarah working. She had made her way up the career ladder to become a manager. Because of this we didn’t really hang out and chat like we used to, it was a more professional relationship at this point, but that was fine with me. I was proud of her for getting that spot and she was way out of my league anyway.

While she sat in the office behind the counter I was standing outside the final cinema as the credits rolled. I nodded to each of the movie-goers as they left discussing their likes and dislikes of the movie. Finally the last couple was out and I began to clean up the chair isles one by one. I got halfway down when I noticed something under the furthest chair. Probably somebody’s bag they left behind. I pulled out my flashlight and clicked it on. It wasn’t a bag.

There was a man who had forced himself under the chair. His body looked uncomfortably twisted. Crumpled. My light illuminated his face which was upside down and staring right at me. He began screaming. “My friends are here, my friends are here!” His whole scrunched up body began to untangle as he screamed, not breaking eye contact. It took me a second to even comprehend what I was seeing before I quickly sprinted out of that cinema, tripped over the dark stairs while grabbing for my walkie talkie.

While running for my life towards the main office I tried to contact Sarah, but wasn’t getting through. That damn things were almost as old as the furniture and were prone to breaking. I looked back once and watched as this man, no, this creature was pouring out of the doorway into the main hall. It was like he had no bones and had to throw his arms and legs forward, rolling over himself to move. But his head and eyes just kept looking right at me.

I got to the office door and scrambled to put the code in. I messed it up a few times before finally getting it right. As I opened it up I looked back to see the man had picked himself up and was bolting straight for me. The door automatically locked behind me as I dove into the office, screaming for Sarah to call the police. I didn’t get an answer.

Slowly I pulled myself to my feet and walked down the fluorescently lit backroom towards the manager’s office. I called out quietly, but loud enough for her to hear me through the door. Still no answer. But I did hear movement. I called out once more and the sounds I could hear stopped for just a moment. Then all hell broke loose.

Both the door I had came in, and the managers doorway, began shaking violently. I could hear something slamming against the wood. Then I could hear her screaming.Sarah was screaming for me behind that door. That sound of her voice stuck with me. The only thing I could compare it to is an animal stuck in a bear trap. I’m ashamed with what I did next, and wish I had just picked up some kind of weapon and went to help her. Instead I just ran, I went straight for the fire exit attached to the back room and just kept running, I didn’t dare look back.

+++

Sarah went missing, and all the footage of that night vanished along with her. I was questioned by police, the press, and her family. Even if I told the truth I doubt anybody would believe me. I just made up a story, saying I had cleared out the cinema and she let me leave early. Following the disappearance I quit working there and didn’t tell a single person about what really happened.

The reason I’m only now just writing this is because of what I read in the newspaper this morning. Last night two people had gone missing, both were working at that very same cinema. I know it was that man, that creature, and ‘his friends’ that did it. I can’t stop thinking about that night, and those screams of Sarah as she cried for me to help. I’m going to get dressed and go to the police station and tell them the truth about what happened with me. They probably won’t believe me, if anything I’ll probably be detained as a main suspect, if not put in a mental home.

This is all entirely true, this really happened, and I’m so sorry Sarah. I’m so sorry I didn’t help you.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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