#so i had to wait a while for book 2 to come out in paperback

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: THE GREAT CITIES DUOLOGY by N. K. Jemisin.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hey Derin, can I ask you a question or two about publishing? (If no, close your eyes for the next bit and click near where you remember the delete button was.)

I'm writing something with the dream of publishing it one day and I'm considering all avenues at this stage. What led you to publishing serially online? What are the pros of your experience doing that?

Asking you because I was looking over your site earlier today and thinking about how comfortable a place the internet feels - less of a big step than traditional publishing, or even putting out a whole story at once for self-publishing.

I've never pursued trad publishing and have no plans to ever do so, it was immediately obvious that it wasn't for me, so I can't give you like, comparisons. I only even got into indie publishing because my readers were demanding ebooks and paperbacks so I just shrugged and got them made. Sometimes I get asked trad vs. indie publishing questions that I do not have the experience to answer.

This question, though, I can answer. I didn't sit down and go "how should I publish these? Online, or through a trad publisher, or what?" I approached web serial writing directly as a career without considering publishing my writing as books at all; that was never on the radar until the readers wanted them. And the reason I started writing a web serial was simple -- it was a hobby that suited my lifestyle.

I'd written serial fiction before; fanfiction, some r/hfy stuff, just whatever I felt like, and I had a serious problem experienced by many casual writers -- I tended not to finish stuff. The stuff that had never made it to the web was even worse; I had so many novels in progress on my hard drive that I'd gotten to the end of the first act of, before moving onto a new idea. I needed something to do with my time (I'd moved back to my hometown to spend time with my dying grandfather and was unemployed) and posting a web serial with a strict schedule and a patreon seemed like the best way to force myself to actually finish my stories. If a handful of people were giving me a couple of buck a month, I wouldn't be able to just drift off to something else; I'd have to finish the story.

And it worked. I got a new job and wrote Curse Words on my off weeks, then that job ended and my Patreon was paying my new mortgage and suddenly this was just kind of my job now. And then enough people were asking for ebooks and paperbacks that I had to figure out how to make those happen. And this is kind of my life now I guess.

In terms of pros I would say:

Low barrier to entry/small steps of progression: You can just start publishing on a website for free whenever you want. You can make your own website for free and publish on that (I did). It takes five minutes or less to learn how to do and you don't need to buy anything. Your time commitment is mostly Writing The Story, which is presumably what you want to be spending your time on anyway. If you do it for 2 months and decide you hate it? You can stop. No harm, no foul.

No boss: You're beholden to your patrons and nobody else. You can write whatever the fuck you want, wherever the fuck you want, however often you want. The only deadline is the schedule that you yourself set, and you can set it to suit your lifestyle.

Payment model: The patreon/ko-fi sponsorship model is vastly superior, in my opinion, to making money via book sales. There's too many factors involved to really say if you make more or less money on Patreon, but what it has is predictability. Patrons come and go, but slowly. I can predict my monthly income from my supporters to within a hundred dollars or so. This is a massive advantage when you have bills to pay. Book sales surge unpredictably, and while you can bank on things like advances if you go the trad publishing route, these are few and far between.

Time: There are minimal delays in web serial publishing. No waiting months or years at a time for your book to chew through the machinery of a publisher, no long delays as your agent works or contracts are negotiated. Indie publishing is faster but still has far more delays than web serial publishing; most notably, you have to write the entire book first, often with little idea of how well it's going to perform. I don't do well with waiting periods or having to coordinate timing with others, so web serial publishing works best for me.

Marketability: Web serials have a far smaller audience than books, but they're also easier to market to that audience. For one thing, they're usually free, and it's a lot easier to convince someone to try a free story instead of buying one. For another, their one-chapter-at-a-time nature feels like less of a commitment and less intimidating to some people, even though they are traditionally much longer than books tend to be. Also, their chapter-by-chapter nature allows speculation and jokes and fanart and stuff to be spread while the story is still going, which is great marketing, especially when readers end up talking about it far longer than they would talk about a book (because they're reading it chapter-by-chapter for far longer).

But the biggest advantage in marketability is what I call 'rolling weight enthusiasm'.

When you're pushing a cart or something, it takes a lot of effort to get started, but once you're cruising at a consistent speed, you can rely on momentum to do half the work for you. You can build more and more speed with the same effort, because a rolling weight is maintaining that momentum. Writing a web serial is a lot like that; the consistent release schedule means that if you can get people invested, it's much easier to keep them invested, because they're waiting a very short period of time (a few days to a week, depending on your release schedule) to get more of the story. If you're releasing books, there might be more than a year between releases; you can keep a dedicated audience interested for that long, but it's much harder to hold onto the casual readers. There are so, so many book series that I've only read half of because at some point a new book was released and I didn't notice. If you write and publish books, you have to do a big part of the marketing all over again to let people know that the next one is out. Web serials don't have this problem. When's the next chapter out? soon enough that the previous chapter is still fresh in your mind. soon enough that you probably don't have time to finish the fanart this one made you think of.

Immediate feedback: Another great thing about web serials is that you can watch the audience reaction in real time. Not only that but, unlike with a book that people read all at once, you get very detailed feedback specific to each chapter. I don't mean people telling you about the story; reader suggestions and 'constructive criticism' is almost universally useless and can generally be thrown out. If you trust somebody's writing and editing skills enough to take feedback from them, you should ask that person directly; random readers are unlikely to be experts and unlikely to have accurate advice.

Instead, watch them discuss it amongst themselves. What did they get right away, and what are they confused about? what did they react most strongly to; is the dominant emotional reaction to the various characters vaguely in line with what you intended? Check the theories; how well are they predicting future events? (If everyone is guessing the Big Twist, then you need to put more effort into selling it so that it's not a let down; the less surprising a twist is, the better the writing has to be to pull it off. But if nobody is guessing the Big Twist, then you have insufficiently foreshadowed it. You're looking for a very high population of readers being accurate about the information they're expected to have gleaned, and a small population being accurate about twists and stuff, and you want that small population to grow as they get closer to the twist.) Checking these reactions can give you a better idea of what you need to emphasise, clarify, or foreshadow in the text.

[silkscream]

bullfight of love (part 2)

ੈ✩ choso x reader

ੈ✩ tags: 2000s au, coworkers, workplace relationship, film bro stuff, pining, car sex, oral sex, fingering

ੈ✩ wc: 5.1k

ੈ✩ a/n: sorry for the lack of proofreading also i feel like the references r annoying. just ignore them bc in this fic both of them are annoying <3

PART ONE

Choso does not call you. 

He does text you, occasionally, to talk about work and movies. Sometimes books and music, swapping recommendations. 

You notice that he reads at the register when the store’s empty. As the weeks pass, he runs through paperbacks like lightning. 90s manga, Ryu Murakami novels. He had a pensive reading face, dipping between serene and morose depending on the page. It was oddly fascinating. Brows knitted, nose twitching in a way that reflected light on his scar tissue.

He never says much. Barely greets you when he clocks in, opting for something of a nod and a noncommittal noise. He always smells like tobacco and incense.

You try to outdo each other when it comes to putting something on the big screen. Maki let you put on any tape you wanted as long as it wasn’t too graphic, which was the one rule the two of you ignored considering how often there were afternoon dry spells. 

You’d put Japanese New Wave, New Hollywood. 90s American trash when Choso could score edibles. He’d never tell you where he got them, always tight-lipped about sources. It annoyed you to no end.

“Nice shirt,” he drawls.

“Huh?” You look up from your stack to see Choso staring at you, gesturing to your chest. 

“Your shirt.” 

You look down at your oversized Deftones tee.

“You’re not gonna ask me to name five of their songs, are you?” 

He shakes his head, laughing. The fluorescents make his irises reflect hints of violet, you notice. He’s less dead-eyed today, which is saying something.

“Which album’s your favorite?” he asks.

“Around the Fur.”

“Basic.”

You frown, reaching over to press the price tagger against his chest. You pull the trigger. He laughs again, looking down.

“I’m only worth ten dollars?”

“Yes.”

He scoffs and returns to the register when he sees a girl waiting with a copy of Clueless. You watch as she twirls a braid around her finger, stumbling over her words as she tries (and fails) to make small talk with Choso. He’s stone-faced again as always – nothing like the feigned sneers shot at you – the poor girl.

You notice him stealing glances at you while you continue to stock. There’s a perpetual hint of a tiny smirk as he continues to be the cashier for the night. You smile at him and wrinkle your nose when you look his way and find him staring at you, goading your reaction on whatever stack of DVDs his customer has in hand.

The two of you decide to close out for the night an hour early. It’s dead in the store. While you vacuum, your ears perk up to footsteps on the main floor. You see a teenage boy with pinkish hair and bright eyes.

“Closing shop, kid,” you say. “And I’m not in the mood for a stray.”

“I’m looking for my brother!” he beams, blatantly ignoring your crabbiness.

You pinch your brows together. Did he mean Choso? The two looked nothing alike and sure as hell didn’t share a personality.

“You mean —”

“Yuuji? I thought I told you I’d meet you at the arcade.”

You raise a brow at Choso appearing from the back room door but decide to leave him and his… brother to their own devices. You watch them from the corner of your eye, noticing that despite Yuuji’s boyish face, they’re slightly similar in build. He must be adopted or fostered, you think. Played the part of a little brother like a sitcom favorite from how Choso looked at him.

“You’re not coming with me, then?”

“Nah. Fushiguro and I were gonna see Human Earthworm 5 but then he told me hasn’t seen the first four! So I came by to pick them up.”

“It’s a good thing you came before we closed,” Choso rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t you close in like an hour?”

“Finishing up early. Her idea.”

You scoff under your breath. There’s a pause.

“You weren’t exaggerating, man,” Yuuji mutters, barely hiding his voice. “She’s really pretty.”

“Dude.” 

You almost laugh. Your smirk fades when you realize that your heart is beating a bit faster.  Liking Maki back then was stupid enough – a terrible cliche to fantasize about. Storage room fucking, sneaking around on the clock. How tacky. And you already checked off one of those fantasies.

The drama wasn’t worth it. It’s absurd to know that you had done that with Choso. It was why you avoided the back room at all costs. After you two had fucked, neither of you spoke of it again.

“Sorry,” Yuuji says, smiling sheepishly. “I’ll see you later, man!”

“Onii-chan,” Choso reminds him.

“Onii-chan.”

“Do you mind if I take the car?” 

“What– then how am I supposed to get home–”

“Pleaaaaase, Onii-chan? Fushiguro lives far from the bus stop!”

Choso grumbles as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket. Yuuji nearly vibrates from excitement as he takes them.

You wait until he leaves to flash a grin. Choso makes eye contact with you and groans.

“Don’t.”

“Onii-chan, huh?”

“Shut up.”

Your grin only widens. 

“He’s cute. Looks nothing like you, though.”

“We’re, uh, half-brothers,” Choso mutters. “And he’s off-limits.”

“Wasn’t interested,” you scoff. “He’s gotta be in high school, right?”

“And you’re not?” Choso raises a brow. 

He laughs at your expression immediately souring and you hate that the sound makes your heart flutter. 

“I’m kidding,” he snorts. “I’d be in jail if that was the case.”

You blush, remembering the last time you were intimate. You huff.

“You know Fushiguro? That’s Toji’s son.”

“Oh shit, really? I never met the kid’s family, I guess.”

You notice Choso checking out a copy of The Ring.

“Is that what you’re getting up to on a Friday night?” 

“Yup. I haven’t gotten around to seeing it yet.”

“Dude, seriously? S’a classic. One of my favorites.”

“You’re welcome to join,” he shrugs. It’s nonchalant. Given his brother's previous teasing, you’d think there would be an air of eagerness around him. The fact that there isn’t only makes your stomach lurch.

“Maybe,” you mumble. “Got some errands to run.”

“It’s cool.” He hikes up the messenger bag he brings to work over his shoulder. It’s right then that you notice how broad he is. Built well, almost like an athlete. Collarbones like a Greek god and a face as pretty as the J-pop idols you used to like. You think back to your past tryst, how his muscles rippled in the dingy office lighting. The sweat on his brow when he moaned.

He leans in to poke your arm to grab your attention.

“Huh?”

“I said, are you ready to lock up?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah,” you mutter. You grab your bag and follow him out. He helps you drag the security gate down. 

“Text me if you change your mind.”

“Yeah. For sure.”

–

You do not change your mind.

Not yet, anyway. You sip a milkshake in the food court, people-watching to pass the time. You couldn’t think about being alone with Choso right now. 

It takes you a bit to muster up the energy to leave. For some reason, you feel exhausted despite closing early. Your shifts were relatively easy, and it helped that being on shift with Choso was usually entertaining. The banter never got old. 

Fuck, you needed to shake the thought of him out of your head. The sex was a one-time thing. His nonchalance made you sure of that.

When you make your way to your car, you see him. He balances a cigarette between his lips as he laughs, surrounded by the usual mall rats you see on nights like these. Some of them you had recognized from high school. They were drop-out skaters who liked to flirt with you sometimes, their toothy grins stained yellow and their tiny waists drowning in cargo pants.

You watch one of the girls flirt with Choso. She’s blonde and thin, and you wonder if she’s his type. Despite the clashing of styles, they look good together. You pretend it doesn’t make you bitter. There’s no reason for the sight to make you bitter. You shouldn’t be staring at him at all — you’re supposed to be walking to your fucking car.

It starts to drizzle, but the crowd doesn’t move. You watch them and convince yourself that maybe he’s isn’t that attractive. But the cigarette in between his lips looks enticing. He probably tastes like tobacco. Mint and eucalyptus like the way he smells. You briefly remember the kisses you shared in the backroom and your stomach clenches with want.

“You,” he beckons to you. You freeze. “Thought you left already.”

You try to ignore all the eyes on you. Your tunnel vision only focuses on him, anyway. 

“Told you I had, uh, errands.”

“Right.”

“Uh-huh,” you clear your throat. “Can I bum a cig?”

He reaches into his pocket for a pack of red Marlboros, handing you one and waiting until it’s between your lips to light it for you. You chuckle lightly when you see it’s a white lighter.

“What?” he grins. 

“You don’t know about the white lighter thing? So many members of the 27 club had a white lighter on them when they died.”

“Like who?”

“Hendrix, Cobain, Morrison…”

“Then it’s an American thing,” he laughs. “I’ll survive.”

“I hope you do.”

He smiles back at you sheepishly, fixing his hair with his hands. He’s almost bashful for a second, but he’s too good at acting casual for you to catch him completely off-guard. 

Before he can respond, a hug of thunder booms above you. Distracted by the frenzy of everyone scrambling to head out, grumbling about the looming storm.

“Do you want a ride?” you blurt out.

He looks at you carefully, then cracks a smile. “Sure.”

___

Much to your annoyance, Choso is a little high, meaning he has no problem turning the dial on your car radio the whole time he’s in the car.

“You’re picky,” you mutter.

“I have taste,” Choso murmurs. “The radio does not.”

“I have like, a billion CDs in the dashboard. Go crazy.”

He smirks, amused, opening the drawer to flip through the albums you have in a thick CD wallet. They’re mostly your mothers – 90s Shibuya-kei and some early city pop you grew up on, along with a fair collection of Western music you’ve acquired over the years. To your surprise, he picks a Faye Wong CD.

“Good choice,” you mutter. He hums in response.

The ride to his house is quiet despite the album. You almost regret your offer, embarrassed about the slight panic you feel as the rain hits harder than expected. You never fucking liked driving anyway – it was why you wanted to move closer to the subway.

The only sounds in the car are Faye Wong’s haunting vocals and the pitter-patter of the rain. Choso glances at you, his expression stoic and unreadable as he watches you drive, but there’s a hint of something else in his eyes. A mix of anticipation and something else that you can’t quite pinpoint. After a few minutes of driving, Choso finally speaks up, his voice low and almost hesitant. 

“Turn at the next exit—” he mutters, breaking the silence that had fallen between the two of you.

“I know,” you chuckle.

“Choso pauses for a moment, a hint of mild surprise on his face. He had expected you to ask for directions, but you seem to know where you’re going without further instructions. He lets out a low scoff, his expression relaxing slightly. 

“You know my neighborhood?” he mutters, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Stalking me, boss?”

“I read your application, dumbass. Plus, I used to babysit around here.”

“Oh. Which family? I might know them.”

“The Fushiguros, actually. Toji used to live around here.”

“You used to babysit Megumi?” Choso asks in surprise.

“Mhm. I thought I heard your brother talking about him in the store.”

“Yeah,” he nods. “They’re best friends. You used to babysit him, huh?”

You hum. “Mhm. Cute kid. Quiet.”

“Still quiet. Though Yuji never shuts up about him.”

“It’s nice that he has friends. Toji used to say that I was the only one Megumi was never nice to,” you chuckle.

“Kid’s got good taste, then,” Choso mutters.

He points you towards his street. The closer you get to his neighborhood, the more residential it gets, and it’s oddly barren. Quiet and suburban, with no one other cars passing you.

As you take a turn, the rain gets even heavier, obscuring your view. The windshield wipers fight against the torrential downpour as the tires slide to the right.

“Fuck,” you curse under your breath. You clutch the steering wheel tightly with paling knuckles. Your piece of shit car could barely handle snow, but it survived in the rain, at least. Right now, you aren’t so sure. The car seems to skid into something that makes one of the tires pop.

“Shit," Choso mutters, gripping the door handle. "You okay?"

You nod, trying to slow your breathing. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...fuck."

The car lurches to a stop at the side of the road. You turn off the ignition with shaky hands and sit back, exhaling slowly.

"Looks like we popped a tire," Choso says, peering out the window. "And this rain isn't letting up."

You groan, letting your head fall back against the headrest. "Great. Just great."

“Do you have a spare?”

“No,” you moan, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"Hey, it's alright," Choso says, his voice softer than you've ever heard it. "Let’s wait out the storm here. I can call my brother.”

He reaches over and gently pries one of your hands off the wheel, giving it a reassuring squeeze. The unexpected touch makes your breath hitch.

You know he's right, but the thought of being trapped in the car with him makes your stomach flutter nervously. Still, you nod in agreement and watch as he calls Yuji. The phone goes to voicemail immediately, to both of your dismay. He shoots a couple of texts and locks his phone in a huff.

An awkward silence falls between you as the rain pounds against the roof of the car. You're hyper-aware of Choso's presence beside you, the warmth of his hand on yours moments ago still lingering on your skin.

The silence stretches on, broken only by the rhythmic drumming of rain and the occasional rumble of thunder. You steal a glance at Choso, catching him staring out the window with a furrowed brow. His usually composed demeanor seems slightly shaken.

"Some road trip this turned out to be," you joke, attempting to break the tension.

Choso turns to you, a wry smile playing on his lips. "Not quite the adventure we had in mind, huh?"

You can't help but chuckle. "Definitely not. Though I suppose being stranded in a storm is pretty adventurous."

"True," he agrees, his smile widening. "Though I'd prefer less life-threatening adventures in the future."

The casual mention of a "future" makes your heart skip a beat. You try to push the feeling aside, reminding yourself that he probably didn't mean anything by it.

Suddenly, a crack of lightning illuminates the sky, followed immediately by a deafening clap of thunder. You jump, inadvertently grabbing Choso's arm.

"Sorry," you mumble, quickly letting go and feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

"It's okay," he says softly, his voice barely audible over the rain. "I don't mind."

The rain continues to pour, creating a hypnotic rhythm on the roof of the car. You find yourself relaxing slightly, the initial panic of the situation fading into a strange sense of calm. Choso's presence beside you is oddly comforting.

"You know," Choso begins, his voice low and thoughtful, "I used to be terrified of thunderstorms when I was a kid."

You turn to look at him, surprised by this sudden admission. His eyes are fixed on the raindrops racing down the windshield, a faraway look in them.

"Really?" you ask softly, encouraging him to continue.

He nods, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah. My mom... she used to tell me that the thunder was just the sky's way of singing. Said the lightning was its dance moves."

There's a tenderness in his voice that you've never heard before. It makes your heart ache in a way you can't quite explain.

"That's… cute," you murmur. "Did it help?"

Choso chuckles, the sound warm and rich. "Not really. But it made me feel less alone, you know? Like the sky was putting on a show for me or something.”

“Toji’s kids used to be scared of thunderstorms too. I used to make blanket forts with Megumi and his sister and put on movies to distract them.”

“What movies?” Choso grins. “Chucky?”

You snort. “No, asshole. Kids’ movies. I’m not evil.”

“Sure, you’re not,” he says teasingly.

“Do I seem evil?”

“No. But you’re a bit… uh…" Choso trails off.

“A bit what?” You furrow your brows.

“A bit... intense sometimes," Choso finishes, his eyes flickering to yours. "In a good way, I mean."

You raise an eyebrow. "Intense?"

He shrugs, a hint of a smirk on his lips. "Yeah. You've got this... energy about you. Like you're always thinking about ten steps ahead of everyone else. You’re intriguing."

You're not sure how to respond to that. Part of you wants to be flattered, but another part feels oddly exposed.

"Intriguing, huh?" you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. "Is that why you've been watching me at work?"

Choso's eyes widen slightly, a faint blush creeping up his neck. "I... didn't think you noticed."

"I notice a lot of things," you say, leaning in slightly. "Like how you always smell like cigarettes and incense. Or how you bite your lip when you're concentrating on something."

“You've been watching me too, then."

You smile, feeling a surge of boldness. "Maybe I have."

Choso hums, his eyes linger on your mouth for a beat longer than you expect.

“I can never tell what you’re thinking when you look at me,” you say before you can stop yourself.

Choso's eyes flicker back up to meet yours, a hint of amusement in them. "Maybe that's the point," he says softly.

You feel a shiver run down your spine that has nothing to do with the cold rain outside. The air between you feels charged, like the electricity crackling in the storm clouds above.

"And what is the point, exactly?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Choso leans in closer, his breath warm on your cheek. "To keep you guessing," he murmurs. "To make you wonder."

Your heart is pounding in your chest now, so loud you're sure he must be able to hear it. 

"Wonder about what?" you breathe.

You turn to look at him and your breath catches in your throat. Even in the dim light, his features are striking. His long eyelashes frame his sharp eyes, and a few strands of damp hair stick to his forehead. You have a sudden, overwhelming urge to brush them away.

Choso's eyes meet yours, and for a moment, time seems to stand still. You're acutely aware of how close you are, the confined space of the car suddenly feeling much smaller. His gaze flickers to your lips for a fraction of a second before returning to your eyes.

Your heart races as you realize he hasn't moved away. If anything, he seems to be leaning closer. You swallow hard, trying to find your voice.

"Um—"

Another flash of lightning cuts you off, but this time you don't jump. You're too entranced by the way it illuminates Choso's face, casting shadows that accentuate his jawline and the curve of his lips.

He reaches out, his hand hovering near your face for a moment before he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch is feather-light, but it sends shivers down your spine.

"You were saying?" he prompts, his voice low and husky.

Your heart beats fast. What the fuck were you even going to say?

Do you want to watch a movie sometime? Do you think about that night as much as I do?

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. "I was just thinking...mabout that night in the store. Do you ever think about it?"

Choso's eyes widen slightly, but he doesn't pull away. "Yeah," he admits softly. "More than I probably should."

His honesty catches you off guard. You expected deflection or maybe even denial. "Really?"

He nods, a wry smile playing on his lips. "It's not every day you get caught jerking off by your hot coworker who then proceeds to fuck you senseless."

You can't help but laugh, some of the tension dissipating. "Fair point."

"What about you?" he asks, his gaze intense. "Do you think about it?"

You nod, not trusting your voice. The air between you feels charged, electric.

Choso shifts slightly, angling his body towards you. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," you murmur.

"Why did you do it? Was it just… I don't know, pity? Horniness? Boredom?"

You're taken aback by the vulnerability in his voice. It occurs to you that maybe he's been dwelling on this as much as you have.

“I don’t know. Kind of thought it’d be funny.”

“You thought it’d be funny?”

“What? It was like a bad porn plot.”

“Wow, okay,” he scoffs. “I almost thought maybe you liked me or something.”

"I— I do,” you mumble. “I did it because I do. Because I… wanted you.”

Choso's eyes darken at your words. "And now?" he asks, his voice low and husky.

Your breath catches in your throat. "Now?"

He nods, leaning in closer. "Do you still want me?"

The air between you feels electric, charged with anticipation. You can feel the warmth of his breath on your skin.

"Yes," you whisper, your eyes flicking down to his lips.

There's a beat of silence, the only sound of the rain pounding against the car roof. You're acutely aware of how close you are to each other in the confined space of the car, the sound of rain creating a cocoon around you both. You look away from him shyly, which makes him touch your cheek to turn your face towards him.

“Do— do you—”

Choso cuts you off and closes the distance between you, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that's both gentle and urgent. You respond immediately, your hands coming up to tangle in his hair as you deepen the kiss. He groans into your mouth, the sound sending a jolt of heat straight to your core.

His hands roam your body, reacquainting themselves with your curves. When he palms your breast through your shirt, you arch into his touch, breaking the kiss to gasp.

"Fuck," Choso mutters, his voice rough.

He leans in again, this time trailing kisses along your jaw and down your neck. When he reaches the sensitive spot just below your ear, you let out a soft moan. You feel him smile against your skin before he nips gently at the spot, soothing it with his tongue.

Your hands roam over his chest, feeling the hard planes of muscle beneath his shirt. You tug at the hem, suddenly desperate to feel his skin against yours.

Choso pulls back, his eyes meeting yours as he quickly pulls his shirt over his head. The sight of his bare chest, adorned with intricate tattoos, makes your mouth go dry. You reach out, tracing the lines of ink with your fingertips.

He shudders at your touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. When he opens them again, there's a fire in his gaze that makes heat pool in your belly.

"Your turn," he murmurs, his hands finding the hem of your shirt.

You lift your arms, allowing him to pull it off. His eyes roam over your exposed skin hungrily, and you feel a blush creep up your chest under his intense gaze.

“Jesus. I still can’t get over how hot you are.”

You roll your eyes before leaning in to kiss him again. This time, it’s all teeth and tongue. Messy. Choso tastes even better before, you think, but you don’t quite remember. You’ve been chasing that taste for weeks now and here he was – all tobacco and mint in your mouth.

He pulls you to the backseat, sets you down on the leather. Legs hiked up around his waist, your sneakers up on the window. He can feel his dick jump in his pants when he hears you mewl into his mouth like a kitten, his hand flicking the peak of your breast.

It’s a struggle for him to take off his jeans with how tight the backseat is. Your breath hitches when you feel his cock settle in between the crease of your bare thighs. It’s different, having him this close, bare skin touching. 

He sucks a mark on your collarbone that almost feels loving. You feel drunk from his touch, from his fingers toying with your clit. You need him embedded into your skin. Tattoo crush.

“Feel good, baby?” HIs voice is low, nearly purring.

You hum in satisfaction. “Need you in me.”

“You sure?” The expression on his face is genuine, tender. You respond with an incredulous look. He chuckles.

To spite you, he leans and kisses over the skin between of your breasts. Descending licks, tasting the salt of your skin until he’s curled up, pushing your thighs forward so he has enough room to put his face full in your cunt. You moan at the feeling of his tongue, hot and warm against you. 

His fingers split you open in tandem with his tongue fucking you. You wanted him deep, imprinted in you. You gasp as you come, his fingers reaching somewhere yours could never touch.

He kisses you messily, grinning into it.

“Tastes good.”

“Shut up.”

You want to jump his bones, make a home from his lap. But he’s so big, his hands grasping the silk of your thighs with intent. You groan when you feel his tip prodding you, slowly sinking until he bottoms out. Choso represses any noise from his mouth, biting his lip hard enough to bleed.

“Don’t do that,” you huff. “Wanna hear you.”

He sighs, gripping you tightly, warm-bellied. Tight in your cunt. It feels crazier to him now than before – the spontaneity had driven his lust the first time, but now, it was all built-up emotion. Weeks of yearning and playing it cool, his stomach collapsing in on itself whenever you even looked at him. 

And now, you’re moaning from him like you want him. You do want him. Choso has always found it easy to get laid, but with you, he felt like he was walking on eggshells. Like he could’ve fucked up at any moment, that the time in the back room was just a fluke. The look in your glassy ways say otherwise. 

His pace moves faster and your eyes roll back like he’s knocking the stars out of you. An angel falling. You can barely keep your eyes open and your mouth shut with the way he feels inside you, hitting every spot that has your whole body feel like it’s levitating. 

Choso’s fingers thread through your hair as he kisses you. He marvels at the softness of all of you – your mouth like melted wax, hair knotted in daisy chains underneath his fingertips. Precious.

“Fuck,” he breathes. “You’re so fucking pretty.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah – feels so… shit—”

The desperation is getting to him from the way he ruts into you. Desire leaves his nerves on fire. The kisses you litter on his neck from below certainly don’t help. He’s weak to all of it – all of you. You moan loudly after a particularly hard thrust and he feels himself on the edge already.

You whimper. “Don’t slow down–”

“Gonna cum if I don’t,” Choso groans.

“I’m so close, please,” you beg. “Come with me—”

“Shit—”

“Choso, Choso, please—”

He lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and you nearly scream. He’s deeper — you feel him everywhere, up to your stomach, your heart. He pushes a palm lightly on top of your stomach and you can feel yourself ready to cry.

“I’m gonna – oh, fuck,” he gasps. 

“Me too,” you whimper.

He looks at you like he’s lovesick. Your nails dig into his broad shoulders as your eyes shut tightly, your mouth fallen open into an “O” as you mewl like something wounded. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, washing all over you. He groans as his thrusts gets sloppier, until you feel his warmth fill you.

He keeps rocking into you, nose in your neck as he rides out his high. Thunder booms above you.

Once he’s spent, he pulls out of you, fumbling with some napkins he pulls from the seat pocket to clean up the mess. There’s a buzzing – his forgotten phone is on the floor, lit up with Yuji’s name. He curses under his breath.

You look at him, amused, as he stares at the thing.

“Pick it up.” You nudge his stomach with your foot.

He huffs, but obeys. “Hey, man. What? I didn’t have… service. That’s why. Yeah, I– uh, got a ride home and her tire blew out…”

You snicker as you pull your clothes back on, which earns you a glare. You watch him hang up and sigh. 

“Your brother coming to the rescue?” you ask.

“Yup.”

“What a good boy.”

He narrows his eyes at you, but doesn’t say anything else. He pulls his clothes on and sits beside you, examining the shadows on your face as you both listen to the rain.

“That was good,” you mumble.

He laughs dryly. “Yeah… it was.”

More seconds of silence. Choso clears his throat.

“Do you want to go out with me?” he blurts out.

You raise your brows and try not to laugh. “Aren’t we a little past that?”

“You know what I mean. Go on a date with me. Come over and watch The Ring with me.”

“Are you sure you’re not just trying to coax me into a round two?” you grin.

Choso studies you for a moment. Looks at you with a deadpan expression in his eyes. “I absolutely am trying to coax you into a round two.” A pause.

“But also, I want your company.”

Your face warms up with a smile. You feel overripe, sweet and slightly bruised. Wanting. Your lashes flutter at him.

“Deal.”

[books-and-strawberry-tea]

I don’t normally comment about booktube here. But I’ve just seen a video and I have to get some comments off my chest.

This video was about e-readers. And while the person has a huge collection of books behind them, goes on to explain that e-readers are so unnecessary, cause they are expensive. And if you are going to buy an e-reader, just buy an iPad cause they are similar in price….

I’m sorry but in what world is an iPad and an e-reader the same price?? (Or yk other tablets of a similar nature).

This person goes on to talk about how e-readers can’t install apps like Libby etc…are we just going to ignore the e-readers that run on android?? That function like a regular phone just with an e-ink screen??

I honestly gave up watching this video cause this person just sounded like they were pretty single minded on the topic. So here’s my two cents.

Pro’s for an ereader: (at least in my case)

1. E-reader’s are amazing for portability. Physical books can get very heavy, and although I love them, I hate taking physical books out with me cause I’m terrified of damaging them.

2. Books in my country, are incredibly expensive. You can go to the bookstore, and end up spending $50 AUD and get 1-2 books depending on what you get. Hard covers are usually $40+! Paperbacks can range between $17-$40 also. And if it doesn’t get printed in Australia?? Good luck. The only way I could get Hunting Adeline was to pay $65. Because whenever I ordered it from Amazon at $35, from America, it would come absolutely obliterated because they don’t package it in anything but a basic plastic mailer bag. No protection at all.

3. E-readers are much better for your eyes and don’t have constant distracting notifications and people trying to ring you. I have weak eye muscles. Always have. I wear glasses for this. And I used to read on my phone cause it’s what I have with me while I was out. But once I got an e-reader, I realised just how bad my eye strain was from my phone. E-readers have seriously improved my reading stamina especially since mine has the orange light feature. It’s not like we all don’t have an internet or phone addiction anyway. At least according to statistics I’ve seen in the past. Majority of us are trying to spend less time on our phones and more time doing what we love. And e-readers absolutely help with that. (Much better for my ADHD too honestly.)

4. I live with roommates, I have very limited space. So big book collections is just not something that’s possible for me. I’d love to, but again, space and money.

5. E-readers have given me the opportunity to read books that I’d never be able to get. Because of space reasons, money reasons, and the fact that Australia just does not get the wide selection of books that other countries do. We miss out so much. Some books, we have to wait YEARS for, while everyone else gets them on release dates. My e-reader has been such a huge investment for me, as well as an opportunity maker to give me the option to read books I’d never be able to get other wise.

I will clarify this by saying yes, I do have an iPad. But that was a gift. I didn’t buy it for myself. My mother very graciously bought it for me with her inheritance money. She went out of her way to make sure I had a good working device for university. That iPad was over $2,000 aud. My e-reader?? $250!!! HUGE price difference. And it has helped me save so much money in the process. Cause if I read the ebook, and don’t like it, that’s okay, refund. If I do??? Then I can absolutely go out and hopefully track down a physical copy. If that’s not possible?? I still have the digital version. That I can enjoy over and over.

No, I’m not ignoring the cons to do with DRM, and companies censoring ebooks, not at all. But I feel like either way there is still more pros then what this person was giving e-readers credit for. She sounded privileged honestly, she may not have a use for e-readers. But to be saying that you don’t need one, and that they are completely unnecessary….its just incorrect.

I haven’t even touched on how e-readers help others with disabilities to be able to access books. I have a friend for example that has been very unwell for many years now. And because of this, she has fatigue and strength issues. She at one stage could barely hold a book. But once she got her kindle, she was so over joyed cause she could finally enjoy books again. Kindles are so light, they have stands etc. It honestly reminds me of the people that say audiobooks arnt counted as reading and you shouldn’t do it. Sure, let’s just alienate all the people that can’t read or have vision impairment right? (For clarity, I’m being sarcastic.) Or how about all the cultures that past on the culture, history, legends etc all by word of mouth?? For centuries, way before anyone invented written script. But that’s a whole other tangent I can go off about later.

If e-readers arnt for you, that’s totally fine. But to say no one has a need for them, because physical books exist, is just closed minded. Just because you have the privilege of a huge book library and may not have use of an e-reader, doesn’t not mean that other people don’t have a great use for them.

Anyway, that’s my rant. I don’t like ranting online. But this just frustrated me so much. No hate to this person personally, I just think they weren’t open to the possibilities of how these devices are used and fulfil needs for other people that live differently.

If you read this, cool! I hope you have a good day. And enjoy reading what you are currently 💝

[soft-girl-musings]

Burn (MK Spring Bingo #2)

Jake Lockley & GN!Reader

cross-posted to ao3

tags: breakup/gender neutral ex mention, fire safety? we don't know her. no use of y/n

wc: 1,347

fic summary: what's a few burnt mementos between friends?

A/N: i was cold so i finally wrote this lol

_____________________

This stinks.

Literally, this whole setup stinks. Lighting a fire always seems so appealing until you remember how the stench of it clings to your body and clothes, head to toe. You’ll carry it with you until you can rid yourself of everything imbued with smoke and dive through the shower.

As you glance toward the box at your feet, the irony doesn’t escape you: lighting a fire to forget while it refuses to let you. What’s one more memory scorched into your person?

“Hey.”

A familiar voice snaps you back to the present. In the dim light you see the outline of your friend, bundled up as he walks toward you.

“Hey yourself.” Jake has an open invitation to swing by anytime, but you had forgotten to text him and ask for some privacy tonight. You kick the box beneath your seat. Jake pretends not to notice.

Instead, he hands you a thermos. “Bit cold to be outside, don’t you think?”

“I’m staying warm out of spite.” You open the thermos and nearly melt as the smell of your favorite hot beverage wafts up from the canister. At least he never comes empty handed.

A gloved hand gestures for you to pass the thermos back as Jake takes the seat next to you. The light of the fire dances across his features, the tired look in his eyes more prominent in the orange glow. He pours a steaming mug from the canister and passes it to you, capping it and pulling out a flask for himself.

You sip your drink as you continue to examine him. This must not be a social visit.

Finally you clear your throat. “Do you want to talk about it, or do you want a distraction?”

He smirks, shaking his head. “Distraction, if you’re game.”

“Sure… yeah, okay.” The mug is a welcome comfort to your frigid hands, but you part with it to drag the box back out. “Guess what today is?”

You can see the wheels turning in his mind as he runs through every significant date possible. His eyes widen when he spies the corner of something poking out from the box. “Your anniversary,” he winces.

“Ugh, don’t call it that.” You set the box on the seat between you. “But yes, technically. One year since… you know. I ended things.”

Jake nods sagely, putting his flask back in his coat pocket. He remembers what happened a year ago. 

It was a gnarly breakup. He was proud of you for ending things with your ex, and he made sure to tell you every time doubt began to creep into your mind. But even now, he knew you could be triggered by the smallest things. You’d avoid certain phrases when you spoke; you couldn’t stand the smell of the places you frequented on your dates; you hadn’t touched the book series you both had bonded over since they stopped being part of your life.

Jake’s attention falls back on the box. “And how are we celebrating tonight?”

You laugh, sharp and bitter. “Yeah, it’s a real party.” Still, you open the box to give him a better look at its contents. To anyone else, it’d look like a pile of junk. And technically, to you, it is junk: odds and ends, trinkets and notes are piled inside. On top sits a book, decently sized and paperback with worn pages.

You shrug. “Figured tonight was as good a time as any to bury the hatchet. Or burn it.”

Jake looks at you quizzically. “Then why haven’t you?” He scoots his seat closer to yours, a small grin playing on his lips. “I mean, I’m honored if you were waiting for little ol’ me, but I get the feeling you wanted to do this alone.” He nudges your foot with his own. “What’s the holdup?”

You stare down at the box, then at the fire. “It just… I don’t know. It feels mean. Like, I could just stick this stuff back in my closet and it’d basically be the same thing.”

Jake shakes his head. “If that was the case, you wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of lighting this thing and sat here freezing your ass off for so long.” When this draws a small smile from you, he continues. “You’re not going to hurt anyone if you get rid of these things once and for all. Not if it’s what you really want to do. But…” he sighs, picking up the paperback and flipping through it. “If you want to keep ‘em a while longer, nobody’s gonna get hurt from that, either.” He closes the book and looks you in the eye. “It’s up to you.”

You’re focused on the book in his hands as he talks. After a moment, your voice is soft. “They never even read it. That book, I loaned it to them. It wasn’t my favorite, but I figured we could bond over the author or something. Do you know where they put it as soon as I handed it over?” Your face scrunches in disgust. “Their fucking gym bag. They gave it back a month later, never even opened it.” 

You haven’t thought about that moment since you shoved the novel in the reject pile ages ago. It wasn’t even the fact that your ex had put something of yours in the same bag as their used socks and God knows what else. When they gave it back to you, unread, it felt tainted in more ways than one. Tainted with neglect. One of the first red flags you’ve beaten yourself up over not recognizing sooner. Your eyes sting with tears– whether from sadness, frustration, or the smoke blowing your way, you can’t tell. All you know is that you can’t stand to look at the thing anymore.

Jake reads you loud and clear. He stands up, crosses to the other side of the fire, and opens the book in the middle. “Well, this thing does not spark joy.” With a flourish, he takes one page in hand, and tears it from the book with a decided riiiiiip.

You watch with wide eyes as he holds the page over the flames. As if waiting for your approval (not that you fancied taping a page back into the gym bag book either way). You nod, and Jake shouts, “En el fuego te vas!” before crumpling the page and dropping it into the fire pit.

You laugh for the first time all evening. Jake continues, tearing page after page from the novel and ceremoniously dropping them into the fire. A weight seems to have been lifted from him, as well, as he gets louder and more energized with every offering.

Finally you stand up and take the book from his hands. “Can’t let you have all the fun, Lockley.” You grab a fistful of the remaining pages and scatter them into the fire pit, then chuck the rest of the book into the makeshift inferno.

Plumes of smoke rise as sparks fly out from the force of your enthusiasm. Jake wraps his arms around you and turns your body away, shielding you from the brunt of the embers. “Easy, cariño.”

“You made it look fun,” you say breathlessly. The cold and adrenaline catch up to you, and you’re practically buzzing. Jake rubs his hands along your shoulders to steady you.

“Want to keep going, then?”

You smile wide. “Hell yeah.”

The two of you spend the next half hour sorting through the box, bidding each item farewell before dropping it into the fire pit. You’re convinced dumping the whole thing in at once would be the perfect catharsis, but Jake convinces you to take your time (and avoid calling the fire department).

Later, as the flames cool and every memento has been reduced to ash, you sit with Jake in the fading glow of the fire, his arm around you as you sip from the thermos.

“Jake?” you ask quietly, face flush against his chest as you watch the light leave each ember.

“Yeah?”

“Happy anniversary.”

A/N: ladies if he sticks a novel you loaned him in his goddamn duffel bag, kick 'em to the curb

_____________________

anyway this was fun. excited to continue with my planned bingo entries!!

ty for reading babes <3

event tags: @moonknight-events @spacecowboyhotch @juneknight

addtl tags: @mrs-lockley @lunar-ghoulie @shadystarlightgentlemen @casa-boiardi @nerdieforpedro @queerponcho (lmk if you'd like to be added to/removed from this wee tag list)

[vomitspit2]

hello hello, re-l!!

Do you read books outside of fanfics? Or if mainly fainfics, what inspirations do you have? I'm looking for stuff to read, but I mainly only ever like reading your stuff and two other writers🤧

If you have any books or authors that inspire you, I would love to know!

Ofc, no need to respond if you don't want to! ^^

hello hello icarus!!! 💕

i am a huge reader! have been since elementary school and i’ve always been ‘that’ cousin who brings a book to family get-togethers! so i do have a tons of recommendations for novels and short stories!

(but before that, my inspiration for fanfiction is mostly stockpiled in my ao3 bookmarks)

i‘ll try not to include novels that are mostly high school or college required reading. while i did enjoy some of them immensely, what’s the point of rec-ing something if the chance another person has read it is already pretty high! so here’s a list of novels/short stories that i personally adore:

1. grendel by john gardner

it’s about 10 chapters on a paperback so a relatively short read; told from the perspective of the villain in the beowulf legend — it anglo saxon like king arthur so you know it’s my cup of tea

changed my life truthfully; i’m still waiting to get my ‘grendel had an accident, so may you all’ tattoo one day :)

2. master and the margarita by mikhail bulgakov

a decently sized novel and it’s by a russian author so you know you’re in for a good read; plot line is about the devil and his entourage visiting the officially atheistic soviet union.

tells a lot about the volatile state of censorship and how we must preserve through it, excellent social commentary on one of my favorite historical time periods

3. life of pi by yann martel

a story about a young Indian boy, my beloved protagonist ‘Pi’, who explores issues of spirituality and metaphysics from an early age.

cannot be more grateful to have read this; it made me sob at the end like a little baby and i am known for being very stoic and difficult to make cry.

4. beasts by joyce carol oates

fun story about this one, the only reason i read it was because my dad and i were cleaning out his large library together (i inherited the mental disease of writer from him) and i was in my senior year of high school about to start looking at colleges …

he hands me the book and says ‘read this before you go to college’ and then he took a moment before firmly saying ‘don’t fall in love with your professors’ i was floored.

5. something wicked this way comes by ray bradbury

oh fahrenheit 451 is his best book … oh ray bradbury’s a one hit wonder … no i refuse, everyone should read this. really gives ‘floyd and jade in playful land’ vibes

//short stories

6. i have no mouth and i must scream

i have cognito ergo sum tattooed under my boob, ENOUGH SAID!

7. white nights (clogged in a collection of other short stories)

patrick read this aloud for me once, a very peaceful memory of mine <3

8. the disappearing act (clogged in a collection of other short stories)

inspired one of my favorite twilight zone episodes <3

9. 1408

i would include all of stephen king books on this list but we would be here forever, here is an underappreciated gem!

10. cigarette (clogged in a collection of other short stories)

yukio mishima the writer that you are OTL OTL OTL

[gothark]

Books I've read in November 2024:

And what I thought about them:

Stars of Chaos Vol 4 - i'm so invested in the plot in this series you don't even know lmao relationship? secondary. plot? WHAT IS HAPPENING NEXT TELL ME so you know... i need to know

4.75 Stars

Dracula - I read this via Dracula Daily... which was fine, lovely project but man... i didn't think it would be this boring xDD it was so boring. i am glad it is over because it's as dry as the dirt dracula sleeps in, glad it's buried and done with

2 Stars

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Vol 1 - you have seen this one before.... cause it's a re-read. i loved it and i fully intended to read the next one right away after that cliff hanger but then i kinda just... didn't you know?? xD i still loved it just as much the second time though so all good

5 Stars

The Brightness Between Us - i wanted to read this the second it came out but the e-book version costs more than a paperback, my library only had it with a 18 week wait so i pre ordered the at the time dirt cheap hardcover edition. how was i supposed to know it would get pushed back again and again before finally being delivered one and a half months later??? still a banger though, i loved it, i cried, i would eat a rubber boot for the pleasure of reading more (eliot i'm begging pls)

5 Stars

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Vol 2 - back to our regularly scheduled programming because you can belive i'm not letting this series sit around for months again, we gonna climb this mountain right here and now... and what a treat this mountain is, at this point already my favorite danmei series of all time (if no one comes to kick it back in the future)

5 Stars

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Vol 3 - i always say i don't like slow burns and i still belief that to be true but this series is really testing me lmao i would probably be more desperate if the plot wasn't also so interesting, i inhaled these books, nothing could stop me (except for real life, i went to two concerts lmao)

5 Stars

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Vol 4 - slowly going insane with this one, i'm just not built for these levels of slow cooking and my brain is slowly turning into mush but i'm also so desperate for them to finally get their shit together that nothing could stop me from going through this and if someone asked me I would do it all again just like this

5 Stars

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Vol 5 - oh sweet relief, finally, 5 books of suffering but the release makes it all worth it (kinda) also omg the plot??? hellooo???? so many theories, i was debating learning chinese so i don't have to wait for translations but my pea brain could never

5 Stars

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Vol 6 - i was reading this and lowkey dreading finishing it because this is the last one currently out and what am i supposed to do with my life after this series??? like i'm also on a 5 star streak and the pressure not to break it? immense. but yeah this is one, if not the, favorite book series of mine atm

5 Stars

Dark Rise - AND WE ARE SAVED because this book??? banger. also... i'm not saying this series and The Husky and His White Cat Shizun are kinda similar but they kinda are so this fed me so well, i'm obsessed but it leads me back to the same problem because this series is also a banger and also unfinished lol

5 Stars

Dark Heir - back to struggling which book to read next while i get emotionally destroyed by an amazing book and it's evil cliff hanger ending. i just hope it's soon, pls let it be soon, i need it to be soon

5 Stars

Bonds of Brass - man i really wanted to like this one but we just didn't work out, most of the plot was reliant on the one Reveal TM but I literally knew it was gonna happen from like chapter 8 so it just fell flat on it's face for me. not badly written though

3.5 Stars

[renneeofpeace]

Erincondren. Academic Planner. 2024, www.erincondren.com/academic-planner. Accessed 31 Aug. 2024.

Blog Post 2: It is just a planner, why bother? 

Let me rewind. I started graduate school last august. I remember feeling super anxious because I had been out of school for a few years and my life looked quite different than it was when I was completing my undergrade degree. Gathering my references was one thing but completing the letter of intent took me by surprise. I knew it was standard to complete one, but I did not realize how vulnerable I would become while writing it. Nevertheless, I turned everything in and then it was just a waiting game. During this time, I recognized the excitement for the new chapter I was entering clouded my judgement on needing to properly prepare myself in any way to balance being a graduate student and a stay-at-home mother. I thought “I’ve done it before; I know what I’m doing.” Before I knew it, I received my letter of acceptance with pure joy in my heart.  

I am sure many of us can agree, the first week is a breeze. Mostly filled with going over the syllabus and completing the infamous “no-show” assignment, we feel we have time to breathe a little before going full speed into the semester.  But I instantly grasp the workload was much heavier than I was used to. Going from taking 3-4 classes per semester in undergrade with less responsibilities to being recommended to only take two courses as a graduate student truly clicked for me the moment I read both syllabuses. Being a wife and a mother of 3, I knew I had to produce a very structured system that allowed me to get my work done successfully WITHOUT burning out.  

The first obstacle I encountered was not having an academic planner. Although I was familiar with them from my undergraduate years, I did not think to get one for graduate school. BIG MISTAKE! An academic planner is a calendar where you organize your classes and their assignments. There are digital planners and paperbacks. I prefer paperback because I learn and remember things vividly when I write them.  I knew I needed one the second I could not decide which class I should focus on first or which assignments were coming up. It is very overwhelming for me to have to go back and forth through each syllabus to track when assignments are due. My planner created the extra structure I NEED to operate effectively in all my roles.  

A SECRET!!! 

Lean in, I am about to tell you one of the best hacks when recording your due dates in your academic planner. Document your due dates a day or two before they are due. For example, if your book review assignment is due on the 5th of the month, put that it is due on the 3rd or 4th if possible. This hack not only boosts my confidence, but it gives me more time to edit if necessary. Fortunately, this obstacle did not take me long to overcome because I immediately realized how important it is to have an academic planner, and I was already familiar with the results it would give me.  

Lastly, your academic planner does not have to be some overly expensive, decked out planner. You can make one from scratch at home or purchase one. Honestly, I find the cutest ones at my local thrift store. I know it sounds so simple and some may think "It's just a planner, why bother,” but it is not just a planner. It could be that one thing that keeps your head above water until you make it to the other side. I am a firm believer that it is the simple things in life that take us further than we could ever imagine.  

Thank you for reading guys, until next time!  

[luxuriousmalfoy]

This or That

I was tagged by @felixantares TYSM FELIX FOR TAGGING ME!!!!!!!!!! It's been a million years and i'm awful for waiting this long lmao

Hardcover or Paperback? Paperback!!!! My hands cramp so quickly from hardcovers so the ones i have are either bc it was the only copy i could find at the used bookstore or just a copy i don't physically read from bc i also own the audiobook. (I'm looking at you, The Anthropocene Reviewed)

Bookstore or Library? EASILY the library, it's free and stimulates the community hello. I like Libby bc i can check out audiobooks and ebooks from my local library!!!!

Bookmark or Receipt? i have a bunch of cute bookmarks so sure i use those but like Felix i am a dog earer! idk it's just always an available option lmao

Standalone or Series? it's definitely less pressure to pick up a standalone bc i don't have to worry about feeling overwhelmed, but sometimes there will come a long series (cough, 39 clues) that i just get so obsessed with and have to binge read. AGAIN like Felix most of my favorites are in series!! BUT standalones are low presh

Nonfiction or Fiction? Fiction! I like the occasional memoir or essay collection or like history book or something, but GENERALLY i prefer to go for Fiction titles

Thriller or Fantasy? honestly thriller!! though i will clarify--i'm not that interested in adult thrillers for the most part. not to be reductive but the divorcee thrillers really bore me. i love a good YA thriller though, from slashers to murder mysteries i just love them!! some of my favorites are (ironically i'm about to list some series') A Good Girl's Guide to Murder, The Amateurs, and One of Us is Lying.

Under 300 Pages or Over? Also over! I do like a short read but between 300 and 400 pages is like the audiobook sweet spot for me honestly

Children’s or YA? YA/Middle Grade for sure!! My favorite book is Holes which is a children's book technically but yeah i freaking love some good YA Middle Grade books

Friends to Lovers or Enemies to Lovers? It depends on the genre for me honestly, but sometimes i think Friends to Lovers has higher stakes and as it stands that's what i would go for, though that could change at any given moment tbh

Read in Bed or Read on the Couch? I do most of my reading in the car technically bc i listen to audiobooks while i drive a lot lmao

Read at Night or Read in the Morning? Day time! It's too scary to read thrillers in the dark LOL

Keep Pristine or Markup? I am such a markup bitch i love to highlight and write notes in the margins fr!!!!!!! I annotate Holes at least once a year

Cracked Spine or Dogear? Majorly controversh but BOTH. I dogear all the time and i am a compulsive spine cracker. It's just too satisfying. But also I'll say i have not spent my whole life as a book person, so idek if i have more than like 2 books that i've had for more than like 3 years anyways

OKAY i'm tagging @vitaminpops @silently--here and @iammyownsaviour, if you've already done this obv ignore

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn! For books that change titles after publication, who makes the decision? Is it solely up to the publisher, or does the author have a say, 1) that it should happen (like if a title becomes problematic) and 2) what the new title should be? Or will the book just not get another printing? How would a change affect book sales, would it be treated as a brand new book, does anything special need to be done like with ISBNs or catalogs? Example: Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None.

First of all, this doesn't happen often at all, so it's probably not something that will ever come up, if you are reading this like !!! -- pls, calm down, you don't need to add this to your brimming catalogue of concerns.

Occasionally -- RARELY!!! -- a title will change after the book is already published. It's rare because it's a bit of a pain in the ass. IF this were to happen, it would most likely be at one of two times, for one of two reasons:

First: IF the book truly did NOT do well in hardcover, but they still believe in it and want to publish it in paperback but totally reimagine the packaging and "rebrand" to get a fresh start. (It does OFTEN happen that a paperback will get a new cover look from the hardcover -- but that rarely extends to the title itself. As in, over 500+ books I've had published, this has happened to me once.) In that case, the publisher said, hey, we want to rebrand this and give it a new title what do you think? And we brainstormed new titles and cover directions together. It was a good thing, because whatever confusion that might have happened in the marketplace (wait -- did I read this book already? Is this the same book or...??) was fleeting -- after all, hardly anyone DID notice the book the first time around, so there weren't very many people to confuse, that was the whole point! And it did say on the book "previously published as [former title]" so people could figure it out. And there was no issue with ISBN, because the paperback had a new ISBN anyway.

Second: If the book has done very well over the course of years, but for some reason the title has become A Problem. The case you mention, AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, is an example of this; the original UK title was offensive even for the US in the 1930's and I'm certainly not typing it, click the link if you don't know. We published it under another name here, and it has changed to be more offensive and then less offensive and changed back a couple more times over the course of decades. Obviously they didn't want to put a popular book by an extremely famous author out of print, so different publishers over the years have opted to tackle this in different ways, and Agatha is famous enough and the book popular enough that everyone just rolled with it. (I think everyone has finally settled on AND THEN THERE WERE NONE for the book, play, and new adaptations!) These changes might have been the idea of the estate itself, or might have come from the publisher, but either way, they'd both have to agree. Yes, a new edition with a new title would have a new ISBN and the updated version would be in catalogues and able to be ordered, the old version would just go out of print.

This has also happened to me once over the years with a book I repped, MELISSA by Alex Gino. It was originally published under a different title and won many awards and I don't think it's a stretch to call it a Modern Classic of MG fiction. It's about a trans kid (the titular MELISSA!) -- but the title of the first version was her "boy name." This made sense back in 2010 or whenever the author first conceived of writing the book, and we (author, agent, editor, publisher) didn't think much of it even when the book was published in 2015; that was what everyone called the protagonist, so it didn't feel weird at the time -- but after a while, Alex came to feel that this title felt inappropriate since Melissa IS Melissa throughout the whole book, even if other people call her by a different name; they wanted to change it. And times by then had changed quite a bit, people's understanding of how to talk about gender and such was just different, so while the publisher did balk at first (after all, changing that book meant potentially confusing A LOT of people, as well as changing the covers of ALL Alex's books that mentioned this award-winning first book), eventually the publisher decided that the benefits outweighed the risks and did change it. So a bunch of things happened: All Alex's other books had their covers changed in reprints, MELISSA's cover and ISBN changed and the old version went out of print, and new jackets that said MELISSA were created so people who already had the hardcover with the old title could swap it out if they wanted, and they did a lot of PR around the name change so people would hopefully understand why and what was happening and be excited about it rather than potentially annoyed.

As you can see, doing this with a popular book is quite an undertaking and not something a publisher would take lightly -- and while the decision might come from the author OR the publisher, at the end of the day, EVERYONE would have to be on board.

I strongly suspect that a book that had a "huh, is that kosher these days?" title that was NOT popular would just end up going out of print and fading into memory.

[marianneshepherd]

The Starlight Chronicles

In August 2023, I read every book (and the in-between episode books) of The Starlight Chronicles by C.S. Johnson.

I have made it my mission to read as many Christian fiction books as I can while writing my own book. This series was my first taste of the genre.

Specifically, this series is Christian fantasy with supernatural elements in a modern setting. There was so much to read, but I could not put these books down. If you like Angels and Demons and lots of action (superheoroes?) and a little bit of romance, this is for you!

Brace yourself for this long list ahead. These are the books in the series:

#1 Slumbering

#1.5 Awakening: A Christmas Episode

#2 Calling

#2.5 Falling: A Starry Knight Episode

#3 Submerging

#3.5 Seeing: A Wedding Episode

#4 Remembering

#4.5 Belonging: Date Night Episode

#5 Continuing

#5.5 Reflecting: A Dream Episode

#6 Outpouring

#6.5 Reawakening: A Rebirth Episode

#7 Everlasting

#8 Searching (the Prequel that's meant to be read last)

I loved this series and have found it difficult to find books that can follow this series and still keep my attention.

Without spoilers, the book found me laughing uncontrollably, sobbing until my eyes burned, and had me on the edge of my couch to the point where my family had to make sure I was okay on a dozen occasions.

The pros, I didn't see any noticeable plot holes and there were plenty of moments I didn't see coming. The characters were well written, and the setting was vivid enough for even me to see (I struggle with visuals.) The characters had so many redeeming qualities, which is a must-have for a book of this nature. On another note, her books are very affordable and available in paperback, hardback, box sets and digital copies. I did a combo of paperback and digital (because I was too impatient to wait for shipping at the time) and it worked out wonderfully.

The cons of the series, many reviewers said they gave up in the middle of the first book (don't do this.) The said the main character was too narcissistic and rotten, but I promise you it's worth getting through the first book to read all the rest of them. Lastly, the editor did a terrible job (I know it's not the best news.) But, I was able to work around it, just like I work around autocorrect. This was not the author's fault, so I can't fault her for it. Unfortunately for the author, her work was muddied by the editing mistakes made and if I could change anything about the series that would be the only change.

Biblical tie-ins: I saw the transformative power of God throughout this book. I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude and love for my Savior. I've had time to soak in silence after finishing the series, and it drew me into a closer relationship with Jesus.

Verses that go with this series include:

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

"We also boast in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope." Romans 5:3-4

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18

"So then, let those who suffer according to God's will entrust themselves to a faithful Creator while doing what is good." 1 Peter 5:9

Final Thoughts: If you're looking for a finished Christian-based urban fantasy series about love, faith and giving evil an epic butt-kicking then pick up these books and binge until you cry snot-faced tears all over your dog. You won't regret a single moment of it.

-Marianne Shepherd

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

for the book asks, 2, 6, and 15 please! Hope you get better soon!!

hi, friend!! thanks for asking! referencing this post.

2. Did any book inspire you to seek out further media, such as the movie/show/fanfiction? How did you feel about that take?

so MOST of what i read this year doesn't have a movie/show affiliated, is what a quick scroll through my goodreads says, and i don't read much fanfic (i prefer reading not on a screen). i did, however, scroll through the SYSTEM COLLAPSE tag for murderbot purposes for like 72 business hours after finishing it! much giggling and cackling and shrieking ensued, so. good takes and good enrichment all around, there. your honor i love them all

i'm tentatively interested in the ANNIHILATION movie (especially because i know vandermeer borderline hate-watches it himself, and i'm SO intrigued haha), and maybe in ROADSIDE PICNIC adjacent things, but i'm very bad at committing to watching anything so i have not done either of these yet.

6. Any new favorite authors?

a bunch of my high star ratings this year are authors i've read before (see: martha wells, alix harrow, jeff vandermeer, etc), which makes this one harder than i thought it'd be.

new to me, i have really enjoyed t. kingfisher, and i'm keeping an eye out for more by naomi salman and dolki min and malcolm devlin! salman and min both only have one book-length work out a piece, so i might be Eye Keeping for a while (which is fine! i can wait--they're both definitely worth it).

15. A book you never thought you'd be into but were proven wrong.

okay so please don't judge me for judging books by their covers but: i don't tend to pick up SFF books with ~militaristic~ or ~militaristically drab*~ covers, because that's not really my jam (and also i really like colorful things).

that being said: i was pleasantly surprised by how much i enjoyed IMPERIAL RADCH by ann leckie (which came highly recommended by several trusted friends)--it started kind of rocky, but it definitely grew on me and i'm obsessed with breq now AND THE TRANSLATORS, I LOVE THE TRANSLATORS, i'm so excited for TRANSLATION STATE to come out in paperback in may (it's already VERY pre-ordered haha).

*(i would like the record to show the other series i had this problem with recently was, in fact, murderbot, and we all know how that turned out.)(delightfully.)

thanks again for asking!!

[veliseraptor]

1 and 11 for the reading ask game!

What are 2-5 already published fiction books you think you want to read in 2023?

easy for this one: I can just look at my shelves. the hard part is picking just between two and five

Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee. I've had this on my shelf for so embarrassingly long you guys, initially I had to wait until I had a chance to reread the first two books (because I'd been too long away from them and needed a refresher) and then I got a case of the "my favorite character is going to die again, I think" willies, and I just have to suck it up and take the plunge because I will almost certainly love it and even if Fonda Lee does kill my fave I will forgive it because Fonda Lee gets to do that to me.

A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine. Another one where I've had it sitting on my shelf for a while because I loved A Memory Called Empire but probably have to now reread A Memory Called Empire in order to read this one, so it keeps ending up getting deferred. But it's time, you guys. It's time.

Eyes of the Void by Adrian Tchaikovsky. Another sequel! The conclusion to this series is coming out this year but since I'm only reading it in paperback I'm woefully behind. Very excited to read this, though, Adrian Tchaikovsky has earned a spot in my fave scifi writers pantheon by now.

The Glory of the Empire by Jean d'Ormesson. This one's a weird one relative to the first three on this list, but it has been sitting unread on my shelf for a long time and the concept is sooooo fascinating to me, and I've liked the NYRB books that I've read...so here goes. If anyone else hasn't heard of this one (I hadn't before kind of accidentally tripping over it), the conceit is that it is a history of an empire that never existed.

The Grass Crown by Colleen McCullough. I read The First Man In Rome a couple years ago kind of on a whim and kinda loved it; I've had this one waiting for me since then and the stars just haven't aligned correctly (and also it's an intimidating brick of a book, even for me). But I am feeling like this might be my year to read more stuff that isn't just SFF, tbh, because while there is a lot of SFF on my TBR list I've also been kind of on the outs with it lately. So returning to my other love (historical fiction) seems like maybe a good move here, and I am a sucker for writing about Late Republic/Early Empire times. (We're still in the republic for now, baby, but boy is it not looking good!)

but this is like. a rough list, because as I was writing it I went "oh but also Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and also King Hereafter, and I'd love to start the Niccolo series," and so on and so forth. consider this a snapshot of what I'm thinking as of january 22nd at *checks watch*

How do you plan to keep track of your reading? E.g., goodreads, bullet journal, tumblr, etc.

Currently I still use Goodreads though I might make another go at weaning myself off and moving to Storygraph again. We'll see. Also since I am now doing monthly recaps of the books I read on this blog (and I do want to keep doing that) I guess that's me keeping track of what I'm reading, too.

[bugtransport]

Tatami Galaxy (novel) finished 2/28/23

yes i am late on this one. okay. if it is not obvious i'm already a really big fan of this series so this is going to be fully biased. sorry! i got this book as a gift; i was originally gonna wait for the paperback version to be released because honestly i typically like paperbacks better than hardcovers... they're cheaper and easier to hold and i like the way that they age and show the love you poured into them over the years (my h2g2 paperback omnibus that i carried around for like 2 years in my backpack and is held together with 3 different kinds of tape and a dream being the prime example of this) but what was i gonna do. say no? it's the tatami fuckin galaxy, baby. what the hell. it's wild to me that i've actually read this now.

first off i just wanna say how cool it was getting to read the translator's note at the end of the book and hearing how passionate they were about this author's work in particular and how they got into translating with the goal of being able to translate his work. it's fun knowing that something was made by people who actually care a lot about it. i think that shows throughout.

for those who don't know what the fuck the tatami galaxy is even about: cringefail pathetic guy college student realizes that he's pissed away the last two years of his life and wishes that he could redo it all over again to stop himself from getting wrapped up in a bunch of bullshit and we (the audience) get to see him fulfill that wish through time loop shenanigans that he (the main character) is only somewhat aware of but actually every choice he makes that could have possibly had him do something different leads him back to the same place he was before: depressed alone in his shitty little 4.5 tatami mat room. important side characters include ozu (best friend/worst enemy, connected by the black string of fate) and akashi (love interest kinda/ruthlessly autistic, girl of all time) among other recurring characters who i'm not going to talk about because time constraints and i think they're better experienced naturally so, there you go. if you're curious as to what the fuck i've been talking about you have a reason to get into it.

one of the things i really loved being able to read the novel after seeing the anime adaptation is being able to contrast the ways that they were able to bring in the time loop aspect which... really is not all that present for as much as i talk about it; it's core to the series but it's not really a mystery that needs to be uncovered, it's just the vehicle for which we can explore the main character's wish fulfillment fantasy and come to realize that actually, all the problems are with him and his pathetic little life, the spineless little worm. however i do love a good time loop and will continue to sell it as such. the repetition of passages in the book, the fact that the main character and ozu have very similar conversations in different places, the deja vu, the way each section ends the same, it all builds a really solid but not ridiculously over the top loop. like i said, it's just a vehicle. in the first 3 parts of the book at least.

as the novel is written in first person we're really able to dive into that unreliable narration more than we were in the anime which, while being narrated by the mc, really has to be third person and therefore gives a little more credence to the reality of what's being shown. the anime gets really out there with its visual interpretations and combined with the mc's narration like, it's obvious that everything you see is biased from his perspective, but... to pull an example out of my ass (and this is not a direct quote because i can't be bothered, don't come for me) there's one point where he's trying to describe himself and he's going off like: picture a guy in your head. a nice looking, smart guy, with a beautiful black haired woman by his side. he's going off about his studies. he seems like the kind of guy who has friends and is natural in social situations. now, that guy's not me, but please picture me like that.

you get what i mean? he's that kinda guy. i love a good kinda cringey main character but i get that that kind of main character isn't for everyone. however it is for me. it's fun watching him fail through life and kind of accidentally learn things along the way and then to have the big culmination of the book (the 4th part, where the aforementioned vehicle crashes and) where he ends up stuck in a literal loop with no way out of his apartment but through all the different tatami rooms that belong to the different versions of himself that he could have been and realizing that whatever path he takes he'll still end up the same but that there are small joys to be felt in life still, that he has the connections he's made in all of these worlds and realizes fuck, i've been dreaming about this rose colored campus life for far too long and i didn't even realize what i had.

and the symbolism with akashi being afraid of moths?? it's just too good. had to throw that in there because every time i think about it i get all hehehe it itches my brain in the right way. i think she got a bit more fleshed out in the anime but i do still love what there was for her in the book.

i love the tatami galaxy! really fun time for me, felt like coming home. genuinely might try and pick up another by the same author. apparently he has a thing for these sopping little wet idiot protagonists and i just love reading about them.

do i recommend it? ^ read it if the above applies to you too lol

p.s. kamen rider V3 is mentioned! THAT'S MY FRIEND KAZAMI SHIRO HIIIIII KAZAMIIIII

[snowmuttgetsweird]

12/6/24, witching hour

About to put my Snorlax to bed. I have Pokemon Sleep- if you wanna add me, feel free, I've got room for a few more: 6817 7349 5163

I've been sick the last couple days. I was sick just, like, last week too, but I got over it pretty quick and was just coughing, but then the cough got worse so either I never stopped being sick in the first place or being sick and returning to work too fast with a compromised immune system re-sicked me right away. Either way, I've felt like shit the last few days and didn't have a voice the last two, so I had to call out of work and get someone to cover my shifts. Hate that, would really have liked to have those hours. Starting to feel a bit better today, hoping after a good night's sleep I'll be right as rain and ready to work tomorrow.

Otherwise I've been drawing, reading, playing some mobile games, replaying Hollow Knight in small doses, and catching up on some movies and shows. Finally saw Logan, which was pretty good and made me cry (wish all the Marvel movies could have real emotional impact instead of back-to-back one-liners occasionally interrupted by CGI action sequences), then watched Deadpool and Wolverine, which was just okay by comparison (see above).

I was walking by the book store a few weeks back and noticed Absolution, Jeff Vandermeer's new book in the Southern Reach series, was out on hardback. I had completely forgotten about it. Ran in to (hopefully) grab the paperback real fast but it's not out yet apparently. Waited a few days but I started getting anxious without a book to read after having finished my previous book (The Archive Undying, little Pathfinder novel I think called Prince of Wolves, and What Dreams May Come), and ended up scooping Gideon the Ninth on a coworker's recommendation.

REALLY fantastic read. I absolutely fell in love with Gideon the Ninth, I've already read and finished Harrow the Ninth since, and I'm now waiting for a copy of Nona the Ninth to ship in from another location at my local discount book shop. Hadn't been so prepared and excited to move on to a sequel since I played Bravely Default for the first time- during which time I purchased Bravely Second BEFORE EVEN FINISHING THE FIRST GAME and immediately jumped into it the second I was finished with the first. Sadly, I hear Bravely Default 2 is a train wreck. Shame.

Harrow I didn't love as much as I loved Gideon. It may have been a purposeful and thematic thing, but it felt like a lot of the characters had very little agency and the story just kinda happened at them. Having just recently come off of The Archive Undying though, I really appreciate the use of second person perspective, and I greatly appreciate the extra look into Harrowhark's life and mental state. Ianthe is an absolute delight the moment she walks in the room too, every time. The way they play off each other is incredibly fun in their antagonism. That said, the second book overall, while still great, feels like a big ol exposition dump and feels like it answers a lot more questions than it asks, unlike Gideon, which doesn't really make me as excited for the next book because there's less for me to chew on and extrapolate. We'll see where Nona the Ninth goes.

Besides that I guess my offhand distraction has been Pokemon Pocket TCG. As you know, I love trading card games. Pocket is an excellent little time sink to scratch the TCG itch when I can't get anyone to sit down and play Digimon with me. I can open packs, I can build decks, I can play whenever and wherever I want. The events give you plenty of time to complete and acquire everything, and you don't have to spend a single cent to do so (outside of a handful of cosmetics). If I have any complaints it's that I hate coin flips, which is a problem in Pokemon in general. They're a little too feast or famine for my tastes, especially cards like Misty and Aerodactyl that can turn the tides so severely that they frequently make the game unwinnable. The only saving grace for coin flips in Pocket is that the games are so quick and streamlined that you don't really get the sunk cost effect as a full TCG- that disappointing feeling of having worked so hard and built your board so perfectly, and then losing it all to sheer luck. Anyway, overall great experience. Very fun, pretty casual, not all that sweaty, and looking forward to future sets to release- I'm already stockpiling hourglasses to rip a bunch of packs right off the bat as soon as a new set comes out. :)

Uhh I think that's it. I can't begin to describe how excited I am to get Nona the Ninth- I bought Gideon, I borrowed Harrow (I'll scoop a paperback of this later), and I'm getting Nona from a local discount bookshop- and I'm vibrating waiting for Absolution, which I forgot was even a thing. The whole rest of my set is paperback so I feel like Absolution has to be too, and so I wait. :')

Gonna try to sleep now I think. Snorlax beckons and I'm hunting Sneasel. :)

[gleefullypolin]

I agree, I need them all. Good and bad, I don't care I am much better off for them. I don't want the beats of their romantic stuff so much as I want the overall beats for preparing myself if you get my meaning. Seeing what happens in text gives me a peace of mind while watching something with context. My husband hates spoilers but he knows I love them so he only asks me for them if he thinks he's going to get pissed off, ha.

My chaotic brain will both love and hate a huge cliffhanger. Love it because I've written fic for so long that it's just damned fun and hate it because I won't know what's coming and that's rude. I will be right along with you looking for spoilers. I will be ridiculous.

Oh I had dictionaries. Even a thesaurus, paperback style. I explained how a pager used to work to a teenager a few months ago and wanted to die inside the whole time.

Episode 4 is the second scene? You know, that makes a lot of sense actually even though I know most people aren't going to like it. If he has to watch Obi Wan with Penelope for episode 3 and he's already caught feelings by the end of 2, by 4 he's going to be a mess and a half. I heard that he just mopes and sits in a corner during the scene so if he's been pining and thinks all is lost and he can't even escape in a way that's worked for him in the past, he's going to have to do something about it.

With the LOWK of it all and she did not look thrilled during that dance with him in the trailer, adding in chaotic and unhinged Colin because of Kenebling (which is fair, I just see him not as an obstacle but more the physical manifestation of Colin's fear that he might have lost her to someone else in the book), I'm sure a lot is going to happen within that episode that gets us ready for the back half of the season and onto their happily ever after. That episode is going to be insane I'm sure.

Oh oh yes, I have been burned too many times. Let me be insane for one season then settle into just happily watching from then on. A perfect scenario for me really. Yeah, I've seen some nasty things and for people who have consistently accused others of such and such, I have yet to see the such and such, even in the replies on their nastier posts. If even the kindest posts asking for manners are met with vitriol from a ship's fans then maybe not everyone else is wrong about behaviors from certain fans.

My kingdom to hear a My Wife!

Just look at it as being paid to read fic. You've taken on the Man and gotten paid for leisure. And for years? Truly queen behavior right there.

I agree, I just need to know that A happens, then B, which leads them to X by the end of that episode. I don’t know to know how each scene plays out or how they say it, that is the beauty then of watching it play out. But at least I know that I will cringe at B, but I will cry with C and by the time I get to X all is right. Or perhaps I will hate X but by the time episode 3 comes it will be ok by F. Oh my word the way my brain works is terrifying. But my husband is the same as yours. He doesn’t want to know what is coming, he only wants to know if I’m going to be angry beforehand. And then he just laughs and says, oh dear.

I will hate needing to wait another month again, but another part of my brain hates me and will truly love all of it. Because I will sit and create angsty things and dream of scenarios in my head of lovely ways to fix it and isn’t that what fandom is all about anyway? Besides it gives me something to do other than sitting on twitter with my fingers cramping while I get angry over politics and the world. I prefer this to that any day! So, I’ll take the angst of romance, will they or won’t they, carriage rides, and waltz’s, longing looks, and trying to figure out how the story goes.

I think my brain works different as a watcher vs a writer. I think it goes to show writers CAN’T be trusted in some form. As a fic writer I am all about pain. I LOVE cliffhangers and putting my characters through the ringer. I mean I am also a happy ending writer so I trust that I will get my readers there eventually and not all television writers can do that for you. But I guess writers like a bit of a mess! Where is the fun in boy and girl meet, the end, right?

OH MY WORD you explained a pager! To someone from this day and age! That must have been terrifying. I work for a company that acquired a startup, and I have to say, we do not speak the same tech language. LMAO!

It does make sense! Because I’m sure a lot changes from 2 to 4. His brain has mushed from then in how he feels and his confusion has misted over from this BS “my friend Pen is not a woman” to “my whatever Pen is to me sure has plump lips and pert breasts” who is now dancing and giggling with Lord Kenobi all day long and now looking very troubled while speaking with him at that ball. I’m sure seeing her run out of the ball during whatever is happening (I’m assuming either a proposal or a price on LW head is happening)

And I’m sure before this ball is the brothel scene where Colin is all in his feels and not interested in anything else but what is playing in his head about Pen. So, he has gone to this ball with only her in his mind and maybe even realizes he loves her at this point so he’s realizing he’s lost her here. Then whatever happens she runs out and he goes after her, so I figure it has to be LW here because there has to be something that snaps for them both. And then the drama begins, because we pretty much end friends to lovers for part 1 and that is when enemies to lovers starts for part 2.

I literally don’t have the attention span for more than this season. I was gung ho for a couple years on Captain Swan and I burned out very hard, writing fics daily and spending hours until I had a literal melt down mentally. So my attention to the pretty will be here for this season and then I will need a head space break again I’m sure. It will be nice to then see them and be happy and not be stressed about the who, what, and where will be happening and just know they are happy. And hopefully the negative fans can crawl back into whatever negative hole they came from as they wish hell on the show they apparently only loved because of 2 people and will burn to the ground now without.

It is sad, when I was on phones, I would sneak a peek at a fic. When I got into leadership, I snuck off to write a few chapters. Once I hit management…I’ve been paid to write full fics. They love me. I have put in more hours than 40 in a week. So I’ve paid my dues, it’s mental health benefits to write on the side! Haha!