#so i guess thats the schedule updates

[crescentmoonrider]

chapter on mondays now

(i got internship on tuesdays and like 3h of commute total so yea)

[artsandstoriesandstuff]

Me looking through all the reblogs/comments from people genuinely concerned about my wellbeing:

[vagueiish]

kind of unfortunate that the only trans support group in my area that isn't geared towards minors seems to be inactive :/

[hekcle]

Honestly with how tired I'm getting I might just cave and finally merge art and main blogs or just post here, schedule to reblog to art

[goldenempyrean]

Hi, can you write a fanfic where Natasha gets sick but still goes to work?please ? 🥺

Conflicting Priorities

〚 Notes - Heyy, long time no see? Its been a few days :,) Guess which idiot caught a cold in the summer? Yup. Anyway definitely feeling better now so hopefully I can get caught up with some writing :D 〛

〚 Pairing - Natasha Romanoff x Reader 〛

〚 Summary - Nat’s sick and is insisting on working but you find a way to work around that. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 830 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

“Seriously its almost noon! Why is she still sleeping?” Tony grumbled in annoyance as he paced back and worth, “Thats it, I’m waking her up.” 

“No, let her sleep.” You interrupted with an equally annoyed grumble, only your irritated was directed towards the inpatient man in front of you, “She needs to sleep Tony, she was up all-night coughing. It wouldn’t kill you just to cover her shift.” 

Tony stopped in his tracks and turned to face you, a frown on his face. "I get that she's sick, but we have a job to do, and we can't afford to have someone slacking off. It’s now her shift, I was meant to be in a meeting 10 minutes ago.” He retorted. 

You crossed your arms, meeting his gaze with an assertive look. "We also can't afford to have an exhausted and unwell Avenger working. It's not just about her well-being; it's also about the quality of her work. If she's sick, she won't be able to perform at her best, and that could impact everyone.” 

“What could impact everyone?” A quiet, raspy voice mumbled as Natasha shuffled into the room. Her usually fair skin was sickly and pale and her messy hair hung clumsily at her shoulders. She definitely should’ve been in bed. 

“Oh baby, you’re meant to be resting.” You sighed as you rushed over, cupping her feverish cheek as you felt her temperature. 

Natasha weakly leaned into your touch; her eyes half-closed. "I know, but I couldn't sleep anymore," she murmured. "What's going on?" 

“Nothing sweetheart, it's okay.” You said reassuring as you wrapped an arm around her waist, guiding her towards one sofa leaning against the wall, “C’mere baby, sit down for me.” 

The site of the main desk and observation equipment must’ve sparked a thought in her fevered brain though because she suddenly gasped a little - which led to her throat rebelling, sending her into a series of chest-rattling chests - and you instantly knew that she’d remembered it was her shift. 

“Fuck. Sorry Tony, I’ll get right on it.” Nat blurted, pulling out of your hold and heading to the desk before clumsily falling into the seat behind it, “What needs doing, where are we at with the- the.. Hhi’tshoo!” 

Natasha sneezed suddenly, her head dipping forward as she effectively contaminated all of the older man’s files and schematics, sending him visibly recoiling whilst you on the other hand, rushed around to find a box of tissues to bring to her. 

You quickly grabbed a box of tissues and rushed back to Natasha's side. Placing the box on the desk within her reach, you gently rubbed her back to soothe her. 

"Hey, it's alright. Don't worry about the work right now," you said softly. "You need to focus on resting and getting better. I'll take care of everything here. Just let me handle it.” 

Tony, still visibly annoyed by the situation, sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine, but we can't afford to fall behind schedule. Make sure you keep me updated on any important developments." 

"I will, Tony," you assured him. "I'll make sure everything stays on track." 

Natasha, her voice weak and hoarse, interjected. "It’s my work though, my responsibility. So, I need to do-“ Her breath caught on a sudden inhale and you speedily swiped some tissues and pressed them into her hand just before she set off into a series of desperate sounding sneezes. 

“Oh baby, bless you.” You sighed, knowing you’d need to find a way around your girlfriend working before she would ultimately exhaust herself further, “How about I make you a deal, I’ll do half of your shift whilst you nap then I’ll when that's up, I’ll wake you, how does that sound?” 

Of course, you had no actual intention of waking her up. You’d just make some excuse about being in the rhythm and forgetting the time. She’d probably be too tired to question it anyway but luckily enough your deal seemed to be a good enough compromise. 

Natasha nodded and slowly rose from the seat, letting you take her place, “You’ll wake me up when it’s my turn?” She murmured sleepily as you nodded. 

“Sure baby, I’ll wake you up when it's all over.” You said, carefully watching your words, “How about you go lay down on that sofa, or even better go back up to bed for a bit.” But to your surprise, Nat instead came and sat back down on your lap. She cuddled into your chest as her legs slipped around the back of the chair. She honestly looked like a baby koala clutching into your chest. 

“Well, I guess this works too.” You murmured softly, placing a little kiss to her forehead as she led her head on your shoulder. Sure, it wasn’t the comfiest way to work, hell it’d probably slow you down. But you didn’t care. All it mattered was that Natasha was safe and loved. 

〖 Join My Taglist! 〗@sayah13 @mahalkitanova @romanoffskisser @scrambled-brain-eggs @natashamyl0ve @bloomingflowersthings @kathleenmikaelson @shamelessbearunknown @inluvwithfictionalwomen @citrussnz @fluffyblanketgecko @kljhsong @santana1437 @blackwidow-3 @asiangmrchk13 @lovelyy-moonlight @juiles @lots-of-pockets @sashawalker2 @natashamaximoff69 @observeowl 

[pumpkinsy0]

expanding on the pony going to boarding school hcs for the gang + curly i guess.... 😒 visiting pony AT the school?

hey hey hey now,,,put respect on curlys name,,,,thats my goat right there

•ponys school DOES allow non family to visit, however the general rules for visitation r so strict and u can only do it on certain days/times, u cant just schedule ANY time to visit

•and since yknow, theyre all pretty poor its not like they couldve just visited and left and visited and left, willy nilly, so they take the chances they CAN visit VERY seriously🙏🏽🙏🏽

•BUT AS I SAID, the only times they visit is like around the time pony has to take rlly big test, the school recommends it anyways as its a way to help the students destress, and lord knows pony needs that, he misses his family

•im telling u rn, curlys NOT a fan of pony being at boarding school bc what if ppl r hitting on him,,,what if ponys never told him?? unenroll that nigga, NOW!!! TODAY!!!!!

•ill let u know rn, these two seeing each other has the same yearning as a soldier in the 1700s yearning for their love after being away for years and theyve been sending letters back and forth, theyve def made out multiple times secretly

•yknow what, y not, at the school visitors (of the same sex tho) r allowed to sleep over in dorms, and thats EXACTLY what the gangs doin, u walk into ponys dorm b careful where u walk, its like walking into a lions den

•they all swap gossip, the gang catches pony up on whats been happening since he left and ponys telling them what goes on in school, darry WOULD b against this and wouldnt care but look, boarding school drama is so insane he NEEDS updates

•pony hateeeessss the uniform the school has him wear and the gang brings pony new shirts/pants when they visit that he can wear during it, he doesnt careeee if hes not as put together as the other kids, hes so comfortable

•this is like one of the only times pony actually explores the town right next to the school, sometimes they all head over to the small amusement park!!

•pony only gets counted as a troublemaker wben they visit and thats bc hes w them by association, if the gang thinks a rule is stupid, theyre breaking it, but bc they arent trying to get visiting rights revoked its always small things, for ponys sake

[acourtofquestions]

Just sped read two chapters (I’ll have to update on later) but imma be honest people: I am on chapter 61 (or I guess it’s the next one I read? Idk words🤦‍♀️) and I am feeling very real fear right about now👀🫥😬😅 like I got a few pages in & was like; mmm… yeah… no…this is gonna keep me up finishing this book (and I cannot be drowsy working tomorrow)… but like… Rowan is sneaking out… and it’s stupid Maeve (I really do hate her and she’s only been in like 2 chapters and I am so over her)… and it’s worse cause I KNEW IT the second Elide was like “Lorcan’s restless” I was like ITS MAEVE PROXIMITY but ANSEL JUST GAVE ME HOPE! and Lysaedion😊🥹 & Manorian😉😂 are being allllll cute! And then Rowaelin because ROWAN IS HAPPY😭 for once in 2 centuries this man is smiling & SJM has the nerve to say “the spark went out” (writing this like she isn’t the genius author that created everything and is instead some random opinion😂) and now I’m scared because they’re all toooooo happy???… like oh yeah we’re kinda happy — until… idk… I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS; she just left me on THAT… THATS THE PROBLEM & fuck fuck fuck this CANNOT end well😅😅 but Dorian said Asterins alive? BUT WHERE IS ABRAXOS? And everyone’s been warning me & I am STILL NOT ready at all in the slightest… UGHHHHWHHHHHYYYYYY (they deserve an ACOFAS style fluff book after this😭) and I guess I just need to schedule finishing this book and reading all of tower of dawn cause I can’t with these cliffhangers anymore😅😅

[f-amilyties]

hi guys i feel like i need to do a life update just because so much has happened from when i started this blog to now -

i started this blog when i was ~14 and had a basic enough understanding of photoshop to teach myself how to make gifs. i started using michael j fox's filmography for practice (an excuse to stare at him longer) and posted it here. then all the sudden i was gaining followers and it became such a great community, i made so many internet friends and literally was posting here like it was my job or something. it was my pride and joy logging on here and talking to everyone and posting my silly little posts.

fast forward to me continuing this blog through high school, i kept up with it as much as i could as my schedule got so much more demanding. then, i went to college, majored in advertising, and graduated last year! i'm now about to turn 23 and i work as a designer at an advertising agency and if you can't guess from the beginning of this post its almost entirely due to mjf and the creation of this blog.

i literally owe this man my life.

i also met him again in february because he happened to be going to a con i was already going to (no hug this time but got a cute photo)

naturally with how busy college and high school was i just wasn't on tumblr as much but i'd pop on and reblog a gif for mjfs bday every now and then. but what made me pop on here again is because i recently moved to new york and the first thing i did in my apt was watch the secret of my success... and man. was that a full circle moment.

if i didn't begrudgingly watch back to the future for the first time 10 years ago i would not be here, which lowkey speaks to the plot of the movie.... damn... but yeah thank you michael j fox for my career

tbh i wanna start making gifs again when i have the time because i miss it so much but to anyone that ever interacted with my blog or sent me messages in my inbox ily all thank you for everything !!!!!! i am lookin forward to being more active on here again soon :) *side note back in the day i used the tag #nft to categorize things as NOT FAMILY TIES and now NFTs are a thing and it looks like i'm tagging something im not!!!!! thats so annoying!!!!

[paingoes]

Just Kidding ;P

i dont know why i was so determined to do the fake-out ending for some reason i just thought it would be really funny to leave you hanging for a day. destroyer IS technically over but thats only because this is where the story splits in two :)

Rubies is Delta’s post-captivity arc, pretty heavy on comfort and the aftermath of severe abuse/conditioning. light elements of dubious (but very well-intentioned!) caretaking and dehumanization.

Crash-Out is Paris’s post-royal arc. I don’t want to put too fine a point on it or spoil anything but since it’s Paris you can expect there will be a lot of discussion around addiction and abusive behavior. also there will be lady whump! 

i carried over the same taglist from Destroyer because these are continuations of the same story but if the change in content is something that turns you off and you’d like to be removed from either of them please let me know! 

as you know Destroyer had kind of an insane update schedule and i will not be able to maintain that for two stories at once, especially not as summer ends. this will likely be more of a slow burn.

also there will probably be a few more of those bonus chapters for Destroyer just in case you think delta got off too easy. so i guess even thats not really “over”.

anyway! thanks again for all the support <3 !

[cheesystinker]

Hey, its me I'm back

Sorry for being inactive for a lot longer than I said, I lost a lot of motivation for posting and drawing as I've been burnt out from a long trip

Also the usual few-weeks-long honeymoon period from joining a new fandom (in this case coaster ocs) kind of fizzled out.

I'm still very much in the fandom! As I've previously said, theme parks and alton towers specifically have been my long standing main interest for quite a while now, but it was only recently that I joined the art and oc side.

I've been thinking about how I want to keep up with my old daily posting schedule without burning myself out on alton towers, and I've come to a conclusion!

While at it's core, this blog has and always will be about expressing my love for theme parks and rollercoasters, I've decided to branch out into posting about not only my other ocs and stories, but also other fandoms that I'm involved in! For the longest time I was worried about doing so as I was afraid that posting about an eclectic variety of unrelated fandoms would turn people off and make my blog look cluttered and unorganised.

As someone who IS very unorganised, rather than having separate blogs for my different interests, I've decided to simply use various tags for the different fandoms to make it easier both for me and anyone visiting my blog to find things from a specific fandom. My pinned post will be updated with these tags as and when I start using them.

I want to thank the people who have supported me and interacted with my posts previously, and also apologise for how I have failed to do the same! For anyone who has bothered to check my blog every once in a while or stayed interested in my posts despite my inactivity, I just want you to know that I appreciate it!

Anyway thats the end of my lil yap session, sorry for bombarding your feed with an outrageous amount of text if you're not interested or don't care lmao

I don't know how to end this

Uh stay cheesy I guess

[i-sveikata]

Tbh i understand pete, the beginning of their relationship wasn't normal or easy at all so him struggling to bottom made sense to me but as you said that he thinks Vegas will get bored eventually if pete will stop challenging him, i think i get where he's coming from , i mean we do know that Vegas loved to see pete resist and fight himself and that's what pete thinks too, that this push and pull game will keep Vegas hooked somehow, but I can't wait for him to let his guards down completely because boy you dont know how Vegas loves to see you taking initiatives and letting loose and enjoying yourself ngl Vegas loves everything pete does that man is down bad I love him so yeah I cannnottt wait for both of you to go all out and fuck

Also by any luck are we getting a chapter update tomorrow? No pressure I am just curious jfhsjdj you won't believe I actually do arrange my schedule acc to the chapter on update days lmaooooo

yeah exactly!!!! like these are the walls he first put up to protect himself and it would be such a huge undertaking for him to take them down now around vegas (esp because it twinges against petes very real hang ups about letting vegas win/ getting what he wants)

yes i think its been left so long now that pete is building it up/ combining a lot of his fears into the act of bottoming in his head- like if he says yes what if vegas repeats more of the horrible things he first said to pete about him obviously wanting it when he was a prisoner, finally confirming it as true? and if vegas wants it so bad is it still that aggravating win for him if he gets it? even if pete might want to try and reexperience it in a new way too? and what if things do change and he loses his power over vegas by giving up that last thing to him? what if vegas grows bored of the pete thats fully accepting of his wants and needs? what if its not a challenge anymore once hes decided hes won? and what if more of vegas dominating side comes out again when hes topping pete? what if he takes complete control again?

like obvs these are really valid fears but a lot of its now is sort of revolving around the fact that if pete lets this get any deeper hes giving vegas the power to hurt him (not physically of course but like emotionally- which he figured out can go badly when vegas nearly died in front of him and the idea of losing him got pete in a total panic) and thats a really big deal for pete. and which hes still trying to decide is actually worth it to open himself up to- the idea of love and loss. so its really so much beyond completely relaxing his guard for vegas. its conceding to the idea of needing him. of wanting him. of being afraid of losing him too.

but yeah honestly pete has a lot of things holding him back from going further atm- no matter how many ways hes sort of passively going along with and both outright asserting himself as part of a romantic relationship with vegas. its still all so messy in his head no matter what his feelings and attraction are. so pete is afraid of being vulnerable like that again but especially about not being in control of his own body/ vegas being in control of his body and these are all things he has to work through. but yeah youre absolutely right he doesnt realise that his fears are totally unfounded and vegas is down bad for him (and is going to absolutely lose his mind when pete starts taking initiative and being even more open about his needs) and they are absolutely going to go nuts on the sex front once they finally reach that much needed equilibrium haha.

it's actually looking less likely that i'm going to post tonight unfortunately!!! the chap editing is taking a hell of a lot longer than i expected and im honestly going to just run out of time before bed (and a girly has gotta sleep) so im guessing it'll be either tomorrow or day after- depending how the editing wraps up. (also lol @ me saying i dont post on weekdays and then immediately proving myself wrong im a clown :) )

[taeiun]

TAEIUN UPDATE (05/07/24)

hello everyone!! im not sure how many of you still keep up with this blog and i am so sorry for being inactive for so long (a full month sheesh…) and for not posting anything for longer than that! i have a couple updates, some good some bad, and a few changes i want to make to this blog.

TL;DR: canceling the beomgyu smau + possible future redo, temporary archive of this blog, future works planned.

O1. from the lack of of updates and the low interactions ive gotten, i think you guys can already guess that the beomgyu smau i posted back in march was going to be terminated at some point. it’s not that ive lost full interest in the plot. im just unhappy woth the setup and also dont have things flushed out to where i think an smau would work as a format. i do hope to publish it again some time in the future but for now, that post will be taken down.

O2. again, based off my inactivity i dont think it’s much of a surprise for me to say im going to be temporarily archiving this blog. that doesnt mean im never coming back! its just that right now i dont know how long it’ll be before i get back into a consistent writing schedule again. think of it just as an extended hiatus; the main difference is that im calling it an archive in case i dont come back at all. ofc ill announce if im going for good but this is just in case.

O3. i dont think i’ll be gone for good (knock on wood) so while i stay kind of inactive, there a few things im changing up here.

declutterring: going to be deleting spam posts and tidying up my blog to make the viewing experience more pleasurable!! i have a second blog where i ramble and shit post so i dont need this one for it.

reposts of old works: i dont have the time as of now to be working on brand new shiny content, so i hope people dont mind me possibly reposting a couple of my fave older stuff from my previous blog.

O4. i am crafting new things! they just wont be out for a while. a few things on my mind are:

zb1 apocalypse au: i have standalone fics for all the members and i hope to get this done at least before calling it quits. taerae my boy…

a couple different possible supernatural!skz smau mini series: little bit on the fence with these ones bc im not fully into skz (despite saying i write for them lol) so im not sure how much passion i can put into this project. if not the mini series, then i’ll be working on a minho fic within that au instead!

i think that about sums up where this blog is going. in general ive been good. busy with school and idea of uni but good-ish. ive been enjoying life for itself and got closer with one of my irls which has been so nice :DD im also facing a bit of a writer’s slump bc of the mental switch from a heavy math and science academics semester to an only analytical and writing semester. honestly, i really do want to keep this blog around. its just hard when my interest in kpop as a whole has dwindled down so fast? like its crazy how quickly i kind of got over this phase ngl- but yeah! thats it for me <33

thanks for sticking to the end of this if you did! no hard feelings if you didnt. its funny i say that bc they wouldnt be able to see this if they didnt but oh well. that’s all from me for today!!

— ur fave, sol / jun.

[twimshi]

Shattered Realities Prt3

Hobie Brown/Reader (3/5 part)

"Yes or no?"

Maybe she was the dirty window.

(A/n I wanna preface that webbie is based of you, the reader but mainly as a POC with semi tan to dark skin but you can imagine her as whatever because she is a self insert in a sense so go nuts)

Also plz comment, l love replying

Tag list

@kittekat420

@zeyzeys-stuff

@50yruken

@oromaangel

[I also might start a discord server for the updates so just drop ur discord Id]

It's been about a few weeks since Webbies arrival and stay at Hobies, yet she still isn't used to some things.

"I'll be heading to out now" Says Hobie getting ready.

Webbie asks, getting bored of the mundane life she's been living "Wait what do I do here?"

"Uhm? I don't know, just chill. I guess? Don't watch any British shows without me, I heard kitchen nightmare is airing in an hour but I 'ought to handle this police chase real quick"

Before Hobie could gear up, he was alarmed by the sound of popping from the window.

"Woah, fireworks." Webbie said trying to stick her head out to get a closer look while Hobie is confused.

"Fireworks on a normal day? My god Webbie-" He shoots his webs to her shoulders inside to hold her back and closes the curtain with another

Webbie struggles in his webs, hands stretched to the window "Hey! you're blocking me the fireworks"

"Those are gun shots Webs" Hobie deadpans.

Sometimes Webbie forgets that there were scheduled protests in Old York.

She stops her struggling and backs away from the miror "Oh, noted....Wait, Webs? I didn't know we were on nick name basis"

Hobie shrugs "I've been calling you so many names all this time, and you notice when I call you Webs?

Her eyes glimmer, not paying attention to what he says "You need a nickname."

Hobie crosses his arms "Isn't Hobie short enough"

"Not short enough, what about Bee-bee?"

"That's like the same amount of syllabus. You make me sound like a cartoon character" He says, trying to make sense of the name "Plus it sounds odd, anyways gotta go now. Call me if you need anything"

Webbie taps his shoulder before he can go out "Erm...I don't have a phone to call you though, I could probably learn how to do smoke signals to communicate with you?"

"How would that even work in this small place"

"Like incase I burn your place or something, smoke signals"

"Thats it, you are officially banned from the stove"

Webbie looks at him in shock "I was only joking!"

He gives her a teasing look before trying to think of an alternative solution.

"Hold that thought" Hobie types something on his phone, there was a ping back "Right, I'll be back in a couple of minutes. Just sit tight"

Webbie does as told watching an animal programe that was playing on the television when Hobie swings back with a small device on hand and hands it to her.

"One of my ex-bandmates is a tech whiz, she had some extras on hand. It already has a sim card inside so its all set"

She takes the phone after thanking him, trying to figure out what type of model it was "Not complaining, but what brand is this phone? I just want to know to jog any memories because it looks familiar but mixed in with a bunch of other brands i know"

"Thats because it is a mix of brands"

Webbie tilts her head still confused.

"My bandmate experimented on a couple of phone scrapes to make the most efficient phone and came up with this, works like a normal phone. Just better" He explains.

"Woah, you even got me a tangerine charm"

Hobie gleams, almost proud of himself for getting the little phone charm "I got Pav a watermelon one, seems right to get a matching one with you too"

"Whose Pav?"

"He's my-" Hobie wants to say but is rudely interrupted by his watch beeping "Acrually it's better if you met him in person, I gotta bounce right now"

He swings out without another word and before Webbie could even peak out of the window he webs it shut with a note reading.

Don't even try, call me if you're burning -brown

Webbie contemplates burning the building down out of pure pettiness and dying the the flames.

-

Hobie returns after an hour of erands.

"You're finally letting me out of the house?"

"You make me sound like I'm holding you captive" He says making his way into the window "But actually, we can go out now-"

But Webbie has already made her way to the bathroom, changing her attire.

As promised, Hobie brings her around, taking her sightseeing.

She even got to take a picture with the clock tower which was called 'An doomsday clock' by Hobie.

Once that was done, it was late evening so Hobie decided to introduce her to his old band mates after bumping into them.

He decides to grab some snacks, leaving Webbie to converse by herself.

Webbie thinks of something to try to break the ice "Oh! If you had the chance to be any animal, what would you be?"

"A penguin" Says the one with a bandana

"Thats a tricky one, totally would be a salmon fish" The other with gauges in his ear says.

Webbie makes an 'ooo' sound, taking note of everything "I want to be a whale" She states "Not only are they the biggest mammals but oh!"

They jump a little, waiting for her to continue.

"I just remembered I like space! Like black holes and all that"

The other two seemed to be having a conversation on their own, so Webbie just speaks to the Jerm (the guy with the bandana)

The more Webbie speaks, the more excited she has with the overwhelming feeling of her memories resurfacing.

"And did you know that Venus is actually more hot than Mercury from the atmosphere, quite similarly....."

Webbie stops, realizing that his expression was slightly bored.

He shakes his head when she stops talking "Sorry Webbie just dozed there for a second, what were you saying?"

She covers her emotions "Actually that's all! Thanks for listening"

"Oh really? Well, you're welcome"

Their voices slightly blur as a familiar sinking feeling from when she was younger.

Oh

Oh

Oh

Webbie thinks she sees a child? A person? She settles on child with child person.

She thinks she sees a child looking at her mother.

Then she cant seem to here the words.

But she can feel them to her core.

They run into the bathroom and just stare into the miror, tears streaming down their face.

its like she could feel every emotion they felt from that rear view miror.

Theres a moment where they just cradle their head, trying to make sure they dont make a peep.

It hurts.

She feels hurt and its scary.

They child person stare into the miror, tears streaming down their face as they they slide down the wall - biting on their hands, making sure they didnt let any sound out.

It was lonely.

It was c̴̡̰͖̯̹̲̱̤͈͎̤̻̜̺̠͍͚̦̦̈̍̿͆̿ͅͅo̸̡͉̤̟̩̼̰̯̻̞̱͉̤̺̳̞͙̣̫̲͇̠̼̠̽̅̉̈̀͑́̽̌͆͘̚l̵̛̫̫̯̗̪̖͇̣͋̍̂́͒̒́̍̽̆̾̐͊̓̀̾͝͝ͅd̶̢̡͖̪̫͍̩̞͎̱̣̮̮͚̝̩̯͓̻͓̰͇̥̉́͜

Oh

Oh

õ̴̢̨̙͕̘̳͓̘͈̼̩͍̙̊͐ͅh̶̡̡͚͍̗̫͔̗̞̮̗͔̮̰̱̅́̑̍̏̉

Oh

Her thoughts are snapped back into reality when she receives a text from her phone from Hobie.

Of course, it was Hobie, the only contact on her phone.

She calms herself to make an important decision as Hobie send her an assortment of snacks for her to choose from saying she could only choose one.

Webbie makes her decision to settle on a hashbrown and skittles.

Hashbrown and skittles por favor (*¯︶¯*)

Hobie replies in an instant

That has the weirfedt combindsation evear

M texting eithj one hend si dstop your snar ky reples

Webbie snorts and sends him a reply

( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ ) okay illeterate slob

Webbie sets her phone down and dec8des to try,to engage in conversation again.

She compliments their earings.

"Have you ever thought of getting one?"

"I uh...not really? But I'm open to get like a super cool one, but only one, but like....a cool one"

"She should get a dermal piercing" His friend laughed and grabbed Webbie shoulder suddenly, who was slightly alarmed but played it cool.

She could totally be cool.

These were Hobie's friends, after all.

Her eyes kept darting between all of his band mates, hoping Hobie would get back when his unnamed friend spoke up "Come on guys don't"

Hobie walks back with the snacks on hand, paasing then to his friends "You getting along bug?"

"Y-yeah totally bro man"

He gives her a weird look, resuming conversation.

The laughther is interrupted when her a dermal piercing is brought up.

Hobbie turned immediately towards Webbie "Piercing? Did he or you say that-"

Webbie tries to reasure him, punchjng his shoulder lightly "You worry wart, of course I suggested it"

"Yeah man don't worry, she said she might get a dermal at Mikes"

"Come off it man, a dermal? You trying to poison her first experience?"

"Chill it was just a joke, no harm"

Webbie inhales smiling, trying to be cool about it even though she felt a little foolish about it "It's fine, I'm alright" She scoots to Hobie whispering "What's a dermal?"

Hobie looks around and points to his neck.

"Oh....ew"

"Yeah ew, don't get crowd pressured to get something. Seriously."

Webbie pats his back "I know.It's fine, really"

Hobie doesn't look that convinced until she playfully punches him and sticks to him from the side.

He decides to let it go, shoving his hands in his pockets "You wanna drink?"

Webbie makes a thinking face "No but I would like to try?"

Hobie nods, confirming plans with his friends as they make their way to a nearby pub.

----

Webbie was slightly hoping for a margarita or a sweet type of alcohol but the place they went to only seemed to serve beer and chicken wings.

"Ew, this beer, taste like bread" Webbie gags after trying to drink it again "You might as well blend bread and mix hand sanitiser with it"

Hobie rolls his eyes at her "That's what all bear taste liks"

"Gross, it tastes like my broken dreams"

Hobie raises an eyebrow, interested "You got dreams?"

"I was being sarcastic!" She tries to take another chug to spit it out "I don't feel anything, this taste like garbage and im feeling good. Alcohol is one big lie"

He takes the mug away from her "That's enough beer for you. Usually it takes some time for people to feel it, gotta pace yourself for that"

She scrunches up her face at him "Gross"

The music booms louder and Webbie closses her eyes for a while to try to quite it down as Hobie slowly seperates from her to his friends at the other side of the island table.

She doesn't understand why she feels so, lonely?

Like all the people are laughing and talking but she feels like she's looking right at them from a dirty window.

Maybe she was a dirty window.

That needed windex.

The beer was the windex.

But she hated beer, so that still leaves her as the dirty miror.

She just asked for some water entertaining herself by watching the football on the TV.

She has a whole conversation in her mind about what's so interesting about balls getting tossed around.

Seems like it was a huge event because more people rushed into the bar.

It kind of felt like mash potatoes, Webbie would relish in some mashed potatoes with actual relish right now.

Unsure and a little fed up, she looks around the pub to find Hobie.

She gets up and squeezes her way towards him, sighing in relief and holding his sleeve like a lifeline.

She could almost fall asleep like that.

Hobie tilts his head back to look at, her distasteful smile in her sleepy state.

He says something to one of his friends who nods their head and wave at the confused Webbie as Hobie slowly menurvers them out of the crowded room.

He shoves his hands in his pocket and points to the street sign with his thumb "Wanna get smoothies then go to spider society? I have to check in for something, but we can get little bites before we go"

Webbie thinks her heart expands then sinks at the same time "What? No. You don't want to hang out with your friends? You talked about wanting to do this since like, last week?"

"What about it?"

"I just....I don't mind going home"

"Alright let's go home"

She panics.

Ashamed that he can read her mind.

She grabs his vest "No- I mean you go have fun, I'll go home. It's totally fine Beebee" her fingers tighten.

Hobie chooses to ignore the name "And I mean we can go home together, I hang out with them next week for the gig. Might as well do one more song"

"Hobieeee" She drags.

"Webs" He mirors.

"Webs?"

"Yes Webs" He leans on a wall, looking at her, but his tone becomes gentler "What's got your panties in a bunch?"

"Okay I know that's slang, but it sounds so weird and secondly, what makes you say that

"For starters, you're being less" He makes some hand gesture "You"

"Whatttt?" She shurgs, trying to seem nonchalant "No way, bro......"

"Webbie" Hobie says firmly.

"Okay, fine so what?"

"You do know that I don't mind your silly annoying absurdness"

"You think I'm silly?"

Hobie rolls his head back, punching her shoulder lightly to get out of whatever sappy mood that was slowly forming "My friends don't mind you also. They're just a different demographic. Promise not to change your individuality"

"You sound like a self-help lecturer but alright Brown"

"Promise?"

"I promise to always be annoying" Webbie smiles, looking up at him and knocks her feet against his.

She forgets how tall he was sometimes.

Hobie looks down at his feet and knocks his feet back to hers "Atta lad"

After some time Webbie pushes him back to the door of the pub "But for realzies, go back to your friends. Maybe I could go and take a nap at the spider society pub or something"

"Spider society does not, unfortunately have a pub. Trust me I've checked" He sighs thinking back "Throughly"

"I mean, the whole multiple universe thing that you explained to me seems like a whole space theory" She adds "Which means there is a possibility where there is a univerese where people drink alcohol like water"

"That would probably mean they found a cure for liver cancer. The universe would either be fun as hell or a living nightmare"

They both nod their head.

After just stalling, Webbie looks at Hobie again "But seriously, go back to your friends. I'll just go to Spider Society and hopefully avoid Miguel on the way there"

Hobie hums "Are your memories coming back?"

"Something like that, its just an uncomfortable feeling I get" She grips herself and let's go before Hobie can speak "Like when you think you're about to sneeze but can't"

"Thats oddly specific-"

"Or when you think youre about to silently fart but its really loud-"

"Alright, alright. You've made your point." Hobie opens up the portal. "I'll be home at around four, so give me a ring if you get back early"

Webbie hops into the portal waving goodbye with her last words "Okie Beebee"

"I ought to shank you for that-" The portal closses before he could even finish his sentance which leaves Webbie giggling to herself.

She makes her way to Margo (Byte) without pulling too much attention to herself.

By attention to herself, she means to avoid talking to any of the spider people which could be hard sometimes because they were all so friendly and funny.

Why couldnt Miguel be funny.

He's like one of the few spidermen that were not funny, well other than Spider plush, his backstory with uncle with Teddy Ben was quite heartbreaking so it dosent count.

Webbie calls out for Margo, who is estatic at her return

After hugging, she takes a selfie of the both of them with flash on.

"Oh, you got a new phone. Did Jess give that to you?" Margo quickly noyes.

"She was supposed to, but she seems kinda busy with the whole pregnancy and balancing multiverse, so I didn't bother asking again"

"Did you steal it?"

"I wish I was that cool, but no, Hobie got'em for me, and oh." She dangles her phone charm to Margo. "He evem got me a tangerine charm"

"Thats nice of him, how long are you staying here today?"

"Just for a couple of hours, wouldn't want to distract you guys"

"You don't girl, you good. Let me finish some documents them we'll talk"

"Kay-kay"

Webbie likes spider society, everyone here was nice and fun.

Just being in company with Margo made her gleam in joy.

She doesn't even dig for more information about her memories unless specifically asked for.

Margo finishes up a report and looks at Webbie, who was sitting upside down on her phone "What are you doing?"

"Trying to send Hobie an animal fact, did you know seahorses mate for life? And slugs have like, four noses. Like what are they smelling in the seafloor other than salt and steel?"

"I did not know that" Margo says typing something on her own phone to notify Malala of Webbies surprise visit.

The two converse their weekly updates to each other.

"Yeah, I tried convincing Hobie to let me cook something but he won't let me near the stove because I made one joke about burning his kitchen-"

"Webbie!" A figure yells.

Malala takles Webbie to the floor out of pure excitement "Oof, good to see you to scarffy"

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back!"

"It was a last-minute decision babes"

"Babes?" Malala Saya caught off guard "You hang out with Hobie too much. Anyways, how have you been?"

"Just dandy" Webbie says, feeling slightly woozy "Do you ladies happen to know where the snacks are, more specifically tangerines?"

"I think we do, mind if you get them yourself? I've got a mission to do soon and need a nap" Margo says.

"Same here" Malala adds.

"No worries my bromies, I'll to get it. Where is by the way?"

Margo chuckles awkwarly, not making eyecontact with webbie " Uhm...Just near Miguel's office"

"You've gotta be kidding me" She looks for Malala's eyes "You're kidding right malala?"

"Sorry Webbie" She says apologeticly.

"I'll be fine, why wouldn't I be fine approaching a tall angry man that gave me big time pain through a porwal....peetal" Webbie smacks her lips together trying again "Portawl....close enough"

Her speech becomes slured and vision becames a little messy as the alcohol finally settles in her stomach.

It honestly felt like sleep walking so she couldn't be drunk, at least she thinks so.

She finally finds Miguels office but hides behind some equipment when she hears Jess's voice through the intercome

"Don't you find it weird that the spider-9833 event isn't happening?" Miguel says.

"Right, it's been a lot of unscripted filler. Which is normal, but not to the point where no canon events have been happening lately"

"More anomalies have been showing up but thats normal, but its becoming more......Mundane"

"Are they linked to her?"

Webbie feels herself sweat, they dont even have to say who.

She knows its her.

Miguel sighs "Theres no way of confirming....Other than the bigger work load she hasn't been causing all that trouble and most of the events have been docile so there isn't a huge issue"

"Alright then, over and out"

She looks at her hands and back at Miguel thinking about the entire exchange between the two, did she really want those tangerines?

Webbie didn't belong here. Period.

Where would she go to?

She's so close to-

Miguel sighs, grabbing a picture frame, Webbie peaks her head inside more to get a better look.

It was a little girl, who she assumes is either a little sister or daughter.

He was looking at her so longingfully.

With such.

Solemnes.

And longingful eyes as he plays a clip of a little girl and him playing soccer.

Webbie stands there for ten minutes watching Miguel replay the same clip over and over when she feels like she's intruded.

Well she has obviosly intruded, but alcohol has made her placid to stay in place.

She backtracks her steps and makes loud stomps with her feet to the door.

With a a sigh Miguel turns off the computer, returning to his stoic expression once more.

"Hi Migi-bear" There was no reply "Okay not on nick name basis. Hey, have you seen a box of tangerines anywhere?"

Miguel points to a corner, grufly saying "Right behind the table over there"

Webbie nods her head and scurries to the box, tripping on herself again causing her to slightly slide across the floor.

Miguel looks at the girl who immediately tries to sit up playing it cool by making finger guns at him "How's it going from up there"

"Are you okay?" Webbie could have sworn he almost sounded concerned, actually maybe he was, she couldnt tell.

"Of *hic* course bro-man" Why did she say that?

"Are you drunk"

"Er.....no?" He is totally falling for that.

"Do you actually think I'm falling for that"

He does a pose which can only be described as an angry old man when he finds used socks left by someone on the living rooom floor "Can you at least tie your shoe laces?"

She finally finds the box, looking back at Miguel sighing "It's a style choice..."

Webbie picks up the box and manoeuvres the box of tangerines, scooching side to side to try to get the box out of the room without dropping it.

Unsure, she gives him a slight bow for respect purposes.

Does he know its respectful?

Regardless he makes a grunt of acknowledgement.

It makes Webbie somehow.

Glad.

-

"Found the hangover meds!" Margo hands the medicine to Webbie after she requested for it after beung unable to open her packet of skittles.

She chugs the medicine down, soering at the horrible taste, but in an instant, she's sobering up.

"You good to go now?" Margo checks.

"Yeah all good" Webbie grins rubbing her head "Argh, my heads all woozy now"

"At least you decided to come here today, those tangerines should be ripe in a day or two"

Webbie frowns "But I'm hungry right now for them"

"They're going to taste like rubber"

Webbie groans picking up the heavy box "The last time I came over there was only like six tangerines, you guys need to inform me if there's another tangerine lover out there"

Margo types out Hobie's universe's serial number and opens the portal "Actually Miguel ordered those for you"

"...He did?"

"Yeah, he got them sent in last week. Said you would and I quote 'Bother everyone' if you didn't have these"

"He does have a point" Webbie says trying not to think to much about Miguel as Margo hugs her and makes her way to the portal "See you next time Marge"

"Webbie you got my name wrong-"

But she's already gone into the portal

She smiles to herself.

She did a bunch of things today.

Got a phone.

Met new people.

Saw her two babes, Margo and Malala.

Got tangerines.

A job well done.

She didn't even flinch when she got out of the portal this time, becoming a normal thing.

Webbie groans as she placed the box of fruit down on the floor with her entire body bending forward.

"Ow- My back" She yells out, holding her back like an old man in his late sixties "My backkkkkkkkk"

Once she felt less sore, she plops herself on the couch, looking at the time. It was about four in the morning.

No sign of Hobie yet, she shrugged it off and slept off.

When she woke up, she didn't realize how hungry she was until she remembered she just ate a singular hasbrown and one skittle.

Yes a singular skittle, because she left the rest at spider society.

She nags herself in the miror for the mistake after ransacking Hobies house realizing that she might need to get a job because there was little to no edible food in the fridge anymore.

Webbie thinks back of the other week when she suggested to go out but was hit with an immediate 'Naur bruv'

Something about being unsure, which was a rare thing for Hobie to say considering his whole 'I break rules' agenda.

Webbie walks over to the box of Tangerines and Peels, one open with her hands "I know Margo said these aren't ripe, but meh"

It tasted like the balls you got at the gumball machine.

She should have listened to Margo.

They were indeed, not ripe.

This was an insult to all tangerines.

Webbie sighs, chucking the horrible tasting fruit into the bin, looking in the cabinet realizing the monstrosity she might have to eat.

-

It was approximately eight thirty into the night when Hobie walks back into the house tiredly.

He was not prepared to see the horror movie in front of him.

"What the hell are you eating?"

Hobie is home, and he is unamused.

Webie looks at him, taking another bite her food "Cereal"

"I can clearly see that, but it's what you eating it with"

"I- what the bloody hell are you doing?"

Hobie was very blunt with his question, and he looked like he just wanted the answer.

He was also a little disturbed from the cereal with water, and he raised an eyebrow.

Webbie just continues eating making faces while reading the newspaper "Not my fault you don't have milk....or any other edible stuff"

"Couldn't you eat it dry?"

"Yeah but it wouldn't be the same"

Hobie sighs "But...why?

"It was either this or gastric" she says, taking another aggressive bite.

Hobie is about to say something but she flails her hands around "But don't worry about it! I totally can live off this, Maybe I should get a job?"

"And feed this capitalistic society?" He scoffs.

"I'm litrally free loading here. I don't know why Miguel won't let me just stay at the spider society?"

"He did say you were distracting the rest of 'em with your annoying stories"

"My stories are not annoying!" She yells defensively but sooner realizes the true power of her storytelling bullshitery "But they do, in fact, distract the people...."

He signals her to his window "You know what? Let's go get some groceries"

Webbie nods excitedly, throwing away the watered soggy cereal into the sink.

Hobie chuckles as she hobbles to him wearing her shoes and helps her up the balcony which Webbie found odd since they used the door earlier.

"Question" Webbie asks, looking down from the rooftop.

"Proceed"

"How are we getting to said store if we are supposed to get on the store on the roof-"

Hobie wiggles his wrist to her direction.

"Oh yeah..." Webbie takes a moment to process what this means "Oh yeah! Wait, so this means I'm getting one for myself? I don't even have the upper body strength like you, spider people. I've watched this one cartoon called invincible and my arm will totally-"

Webbie realizes she's rambling and stops to wait for Hobie to make any sound of annoyance.

But he's just watching her patiently adjusting his web shooters "Gonna keep going, bug?"

Webbie scratches her head "I mean, I totally could but I'm reading the air so I'm gonna let you speak"

He clicks something on his wrist "Alright then, you cool with me holding yer waist?"

"Uhm why?"

"Yes or no?"

"Yes but why?"

"We're gonna swing there"

"Swing? Swing as in you're gonna" Webbie makes finger motions "Pew pew us there?"

Hobie nods.

"Excuse me for one moment" Webbie turns around and squeals before turning back to Hobie with a stone cold expression, offering her hand like a little lady in movies "I am ready"

He grabs it with as muxh grace before hoist her arm around his shoulders "Don't puke on the way there"

"Now this is a targeted insult to-ME!" Webbie says as Hobie runs at full speed and shoots his webs to a building and jumps off the roof.

Webbie has a tight grip on him.

Thankfully, his grip is tighter as he swings from building to building.

Though she feels the motion sickness coming through.

She can't help but hold a wonder look at the cars and buildings that she passes by.

It was almost surreal looking at the people go on their day.

Hobie lands behind an aly, taking of his mask and throwing on a bomber jacket quickly.

Webbie could definitely see Hobie in those fashion changing magic shows.

Where the lady would wear a horrendoes leapord dress one minute, and the next moment, she was wearing a ballroom dress.

The only difference between them was spandex, and a hint of punk and grunge.

Other than that, there are totally no differences.

They walk into a little quaint conner shop, Hobie seems to know the owner and gives him a little dap on the shoulder.

"Pick out some stuff" Hobie says to Webbie, handing her a basket.

Her eyes follow him as he picks up a carton of milk "You say that like you have a bunch of cash"

"I don't" He chuckles, going to pick out some fruit "Did I tell you that I was briefly a runway model"

"You need to stop getting cooler" Webie's places her hands on her hips, trying to imitate a model's pose.

Or at least that's what he thinks, with her odd pose.

"Want me to teach you some stuff?"

Webbie inhales and does a little hand spasm motion, staring at Hobie excitedly nodding.

Hobie and her stayed at the same spot, simply conversing about posing techniques.

"And you gotta strut your hips and make sure you put your chin up- No, not that up"

Webbie currently looked like a disoriented baby flamingo trying to replicate to various vouges magazine poses.

"You look lopsided"

"No, I'm doing it right. Your head is just lopsided" She says confidently as her legs cross each other, on the verge of falling on the floor.

"They're not-"

The owner clapped his hands to their direction "As much as I love to watch two people bond, I've gotta close up so if you lads could wrap it up"

"Right right" Hobie grabbed a few more things and was ready to pay "You would be a horrible runway model"

"That's why I'd be an amazing story teller duh"

Hobie nods along and pays for the groceries heading to the back aly again to put on his mask and offers a hand "If the lady would mind"

"Why thank you gentleman-" She tries to finish her sentence but he's already grabbing her waist and swinging without warning it almost seems to be on purpose to get a reaction out of her.

Her thoughts are replaced with the slight motion sickness.

Through the piss smelling city she finds solance in his shoulder.

"You enjoying the view?" Hobie says swinging.

"Yeah! Pleugh" She shouts, spitting out some stuff from her mouth that was probably bugs "Totally!"

Hobie takes a glance at the girl in his arms, whose eyes are barely open, trying to get used to the swinging.

He let's his gaze linger, slowing down as she slowly peels herself from his shoulder to look at the view.

Webbies eyes lit up like starlight, which was obviously scientifically impossible but it did.

Hobie just watches the many emotions on her face.

He decides to take the longer route home this time, swinging through the more lit parts of town.

She smiles like she just found out her favourite cartoon got rebooted.

Regardless, Hobie decides to make new tech for her.

Was the city that good to have Webbie gleaming?

But also maybe it was.

He ought to appreciate it more often.

[throwingmuses]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii its been Quite a minute since i last postd huh . nothing serious going on 2 worry about thankfully im just uhhh Starting to think that we were Not built to endure thhe 40-hour work week ? But what the fuck ever i guess we ummmmm adapt!!!!!!!*grins nicely*

(""life update"" undr the cut for the freaks who r into tht kinda thing ...)

SO the new job has actually been going pretty good so far. Well as good as working any minimum wage job can be of course but it s certainly been a real decent gig regardless. surprisingly enjoyable at times even which is Huge. Definitely muchhhhhh better than evry single one of my previous jobs LOL. most difficult thing about it hasnt even rlly been related to the job itself but moreso the fact that this is the first time in FOUR whole ass years that ive like uhhh actually worked in the traditional sense i guess ? not 2 mention the other fact Which is that this is also the first time in my lyfe that i am workin full-time w/ an actually consistent schedule instead of like the spotty ""part time"" retail/restaurant shifts im used to having to put up with Oh also i work 10 hr shifts 4days in a row now so uhhhhhhh yeah theres been a lottt of adjusting ive needed to do lately To Say The Fucking Least 😀 on top that of course theres always 10millionbillion things that are demanding the money i hvnt even been paid yet beCause payroll has been a nightmare And also my psychiatrist turned into a total flake and general jackass out of literally nowhere so i gotta find a new one of those uhhh pretty soon actually LOL but i guess considering evrything that has rapidly changed in like every single area of my life recently i think ive actually been coping alright. or at least MUCH better than i hav in the past jesus fucking christtttttttttttt. mostly just been having a lot of sobbing fits and smoking a lot of pot but like whats new there right. so i would say thats pretty good given my track record :]

luckily my job does not require much if any real socializing as like a job duty or anything (THANK FUCKING GOD) But especially aftr spending a verrrrrryyyyyy long time isolating and essentially imprisoning myself in my home due 2 xtremely awful agoraphobia in conjunction with the fact of just like being Visibly Mentally Unwell and having to just embrace that as apart of who i am or whatever Any and every interaction i have with any other given person @ work makes me feel totally & completely socially maladjusted and PAINFULLY awkward and pathetic....... But at least im becoming more comfortable w/ the concept of being or at least being seen as a bumbling little freak and just feel like ive been coming back in2 myself finally once again and figuring out what all of that shit means now. the haze ive been kindof stuck in for several years by now has been clearing more and more as the days go on and im finding that im starting 2 move on from a lot of different things without even rlly intending to. ive just been generally letting go en masse but this time not in the self - destructive fashion. its nice to be able to say that and to finally have that previously unimaginable inverse experience where u encounter those things that typically rocket U up to neurotic levels of distress only 2 find yourself reacting to them as if u had never or had even entirely forgotten that you were ever tormented by those things in the 1st place . literally fucking unimaginable to me And yet somehow it just likeee happens. whut the fuck. But i dont really need or want to understand it cuz im just happy to b able to objectively say tht my life is getting better. also a previously unimaginable concept to me but one thats been seeming more and more plausible somehow despite all of the bullshit yknow?

ANYWAYS all that being said i also wanted 2 mention that over the next few days i will finally be able to go thru my inbox and share all the fundraisers ive been asked to share here since i am actually not busy as balls for a bit (For Fucking Once), but since theres quite a few ill be queueing them to post over the span of the next couple days or so to make sure they can be seen by more people!!!

okay thnx for reading(/glacing at) all of this love U now back to my typical bullshit

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Just some writing musings

Around the end of last year, I made the choice to stop posting most of my WIPs. I was starting to get more and more of the "When are you going to update" type of comments. and that was really cancelling out the joy i'd get from other comments.

It's been good in some ways...

I no longer feel like a content vending machine.

I'm not as stressed about whether or not readers will like where im going with a story.

I no longer feel guilty about irl getting in the way

For the WIPs I am still posting on ( the huge Sailor Moon series sequel and the SM / HP crossover... theyre so niche that I feel like people have been reading it so long that theres not as many update requests. the folks reading that have been with me through grad school. they know i'll finish it... and they do get mammoth sized chapters so I guess that balances out...)

But I have noticed that for the wips im not posting... Out of Reach, Unbroken, Universe to Bend, the rest of the Voyager rewrites... not posting as I go hasnt changed my excitement for them but dear god, It has tanked my writing pace.

Doing monthly writeathons with other writing folks has helped me fill in that motivation gap.

So do betas when i have them, to an extent (but betaing for me is a lot of work. i hate asking that of people).

Collabs have gone really really well - it's easy to get inspired when someone else is there going back and forth feeding your creativity.

But I seriously miss the inspiration / motivation boost that came from meaty comments. fangirling-comments, analysis-comments, questioning-what-would-happen-next comments, things-that-surprised-people comments, how-emotional-a-scene-made-them-in-public comments. I loved those discussions. and they really helped spark my inspiration for whatever the next scene had to be.

I didn't receive those comments very often though. so i do have to acknowledge that when they did help me write when life was busy, it was also not something i could rely on.

Writing is fun. Finishing long stories is hard. theyre a project. theyre work. theyre time and brain power intensive. Is feels ridiculous to say my hobby is hard and i still love the hobby, but it is true.

So back to the connundrum i've been at for a while. When I am low on time/energy to be creative: how do i make writing logistically easier, lacking outside inspiration or motivation boost? (will a physical journal help? phone reminders? scheduling writing blocks has been hit or miss) Or if i cant make writing logistically easier - how do i gain that motivator / inspiration to make it worthwhile? (writeathons help. betas when i dont feel guilty for how much effort that is. do i just make a private ao3 collection for WIPs and only invite readers who like to give meaty comments. that seems silly but thats a bit where im at with this)

For other writers (fanfic or otherwise) who struggle to write when theyre busy with irl. im curious what kind of solutions you have. bc i dont see life getting less busy or brain-power-consuming...

[eldritchmochi]

since shit continues to be wild, as evidenced by the oingo boingo voice WEIRD CANCER posts, heres.....

mochi, what the fuck is up with that?? (guts edition) 3.0

1.0 ; 2.0

i apparently have not seen enough specialists so i have an oncologist now. gotta catch 'em all and shit

tl;dr mystery mass did turn out to be technically cancerous. i do not remember the specific type off the top of my head yet but its a weird rare one, because of course it is. luckily its a kind that stays very localized, so it's not gonna pop up anywhere else in my body, and my surgeons did manage to remove all of it with good margins. i am now down the 3rd and 4th part of my duodenum and my gallbladder (which, fun fact, did have signs of chronic gallbladder disease, so i guess i didn't escape that family trend lmao). like all cancers, theres a chance it'll grow back, but if it does, it should be in roughly the same place and is unlikely to be fatal, just annoying

i've got a fuck off big scar building down the centerline of my abdomen, from sternum to groin. it is gnarly as fuck and i am excited to see how it heals. i already have some ideas on how to incorporate it into my tattoos. you can see pictures of it here if you're a morbid freak like me. be sure to look at my reblogs for updates, there will probably be several contained there down the line, for posterity :>

the first like 18hrs post surgery were uh. not fun since it took A WHILE to find some sort of non oral pain management that would actually work for me, so thats great, but sans ng tube, i'm getting by pretty okay with ibuprofen and tylenol with the occasional non-standard opioid. i've been home since tuesday, oct 10th; had a check in with a gp yesterday, oct 13th, and i'm healing well. staples will be removed on the 18th and theoretically i'll be able to keep them >:3c

i'm back to eating semi-normally. still on bowel rest, but it's not as strict as it was before and it's mostly because i am paranoid vs anything required by my doctors. i haven't been nauseous since i went under on oct 4th which is absolutely wild, and i've been experiencing hunger at normal, regular intervals including being able to eat breakfast shortly after i wake up, which i haven't been able to do without a high chance of barfing it back up immediately since i was a teenager

first oncology appt is on oct 23rd. sounds like itll be mostly setting up a plan and schedule for things like regular scans to watch for regrowth and possibly referrals for genetic testing

my pfml back pay came innnnn god only last week holy shit, and my wife got their big chunk of school loans for living expenses so we are mostly fine there. i am arranging with a local queer to come a couple times a week to help with regular chores and stuff at 40 bucks a pop. if anyone would like to sponsor one of those visits or some take out for us, i'm @/sumomomochi on both pp and vnm0

at this point the sort of stuff that would serve us best is GEEFTS. not like, physical things you pay money for necessarily, though if you're a custom dice maker and wanna send us clacky math rocks, i would not say no. things like comments on our fics (mochi's ao3 ; cherry's ao3) or fanart for em, should you be so inclined, would be incredible. cherry is very low key on the internet but i'm chronically online, so other stuff like asks about worldbuilding or fic process or fashion opinions or whatever would be fantastic for me. i am...... incredibly bored after sitting in the same spot for four months now, and i've got another 4-5 weeks of it (:

but! i have a good support system, personally, professionally, and medically, so i'll be alright in the end, just hmm. sure has been a fucking year jesus christ