#so i feel like rewatching episodes when i dont need to will just lead to me getting burnt out

[vaugarde]

realizing that when i finally finish rewatching pokemon i'll finally be able to rewatch certain episodes....

[mazzystar24]

As a fellow gilmore girls lover... I just rewatched the episode where sookie tells lorelai she could still have a happy ending with luke and she's like 💔 no, I don't want to wait 40 years and marry someone else and have kids with them and then have an ending, I want a middle! That's how I feel about buck and eddie, especially when someone says they could still be endgame years from now or off screen. Maybe, but I want to SEE it, I want them to live it all 😭 they deserve that.

Omg sameeee like I need to see it all

I don’t want it implied I don’t want a maybe I don’t want a time skip at the end of the show I want to experience it and see it all

Also imagine they do something like Eddie tells hen or bobby or OOO CHIM FOR PARALLEL REASONS about his feelings for buck but that he’s not planning on saying anything because Buck is with tommy

Then that person pulls a sookie and starts telling him that type of story abt maybe someday 40 years from now blah blah blah

And then he’s like☹️wait a damn minute I don’t wanna wait for a MAYBE 40 years from now or to see him marry someone else and then he goes and confesses but is like “i know you’re with tommy and I know I’m probably crazy for saying all this but I just i need to let you know that I am an option I have always been an option and I always will be but I don’t wanna wait 40 years I want a middle”

So its SIMILAR to the Luke and lorelai vibes but like twisted to buddie version

Other Luke and lorelai scenes I need to see some version of on buddie:

• Luke can waltz😏 because Ryan can in fact dance and I feel like they haven’t utilised that yet

• the mimi scene (where lorelai cries abt not thinking she’ll get it the whole package - love safety comfort- and Luke is like you will and she’s like you don’t know that and he’s like yes I do and she’s like how do you know that)

• the Luke and lorelai first kiss

• the wedding dance

• THE CHURCH BELL SCENE ABT LUKE MOVING IN WITH NICOLE AND LORELAI IS LIKE I DONT WANT YOU TO MOVE AND HES LIKE WHY AND SHES LIKE I JUST DONT AND THEN HE GOES SOFTER AND GOES WHY AND THEN THEY GET INTERRUPTED

• this man was at your party he was at the hospital he’s the male lead in every story you tell I’ve seen the way you look at him the way he looks at you I’m not a fool

• do you know that scene where Luke drives lorelai to the hospital when Richard collapsed on Christmas dinner and then she’s talking abt how she feels she should be thinking of all the happy memories they have but she can’t think of any THAT WOULD FIT SO WELL WITH BUCKS RELATIONSHIP TO HIS PARENTS

• when sookie tells Luke the max/lorelai wedding is off and he legit brightens up and gives free coffee to everyone in the diner or something

• literally any Luke and lorelai scene because they are the blueprint

Edit:

THE HOROSCOPE EXCEPT INSTEAD OF A HOROSCOPE ITS THE RECIEPT FROM WHEN THEY WENT TO DINNER AFTER THE GRENADE IN THE LEG THING

Also the “i just want you to know I’m all in”

[gaycavendish]

Hey I often see your posts abt lego city adventures and I was wondering like how you'd recommend it to someone who rlly likes mml cuz you talk abt both a lot lmao (like whats similar or if theyre just 2 completely different shows but still entertaining)

So sorry if this comes out awkward I'm so bad at directly taking to someone icl 😭

HI. I have a bunch of friends who started out liking LCA -> now also enjoy MML! My credentials for the rest of this post…

So, first and foremost, the lead writer of the first 3 seasons is JCB! Who has also done quite a bit of writing for PNF (which, although obviously isnt MML, you can see why I would mention it), and is also the writer of Be Cool Scooby Doo (really funny show). so basically LCA is so supremely hilarious. Ok sorry reeling it in youre asking for similarities not why LCA is maybe the best cartoon ever. It is though btw.

I would say that both are pretty heavily rooted in cartoon logic + its ensuing hilarity, with juuuust enough implied lore to make hardcore fans completely nuts. The first 3 seasons of LCA are based on the premise of having a different main character every episode, which i think is very unique + INCREDIBLY good for it. LCA is just a bit less grounded in reality than MML is, I think, and leans harder into cartoon chaos, since every character is like That instead of one.

LCA is very like, untethered fun and creativity i would say. Which feels very reminiscent of MML to me. (This is a quality I call The Cool Factor, the willingness to whats fun or interesting above all else. You see it a lot in kids media and action movies.) This is the primary similarity between MML+LCA to me. Theyre both just stocked full of love and interesting characters and dynamics and bananas scenarios.

Oh also we have our very own dakavendish and yes theyre also completely nuts and should be stopped. Viewing them now because they changed my brain chemistry permanently just like the rest of this show.

Im not very good at comparisons But. Please watch LCA. If you like MML i promise you will enjoy it. They’re more similar than i make them sound here. And tippy and harl really are very very reminiscent of cavendish and dakota especially when youve spent 4 years theorizing with the 6 other fans HELPME.

LEGO CITY ADVENTURES IS MY FAVORITE CARTOON AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH IT NOWWWW PLEASE

smaller similarity that is endlessly hilarious to me- in season 2 or 3 (its been a while since ive had the time to do a full rewatch) a character is introduced named Ave Empire who. get this. looks acts and sounds like a vampire but is just a normal dude. Come on. Mr. Drako if he was an architect literally.

also i will say i was so so devastated when the lead writer changed for season 4 and the show was then canceled, and mml was the only thing that felt similar enough to fill the lego city shaped hole in my lego city shaped heart. i dont say this lightly.

[minalblood]

I'm back and I'm so sorry! I won't make any promises for the last 2 ep of the Winchesters, but I will be reviewing/rewatching them anyways just ... who knows when, I dont!

But let's get started on You've got a Friend 1x11.

I hopefully will be a bit less rambly since O have a draft of my thoughts already written for this and its less... as Im watching (i can post that too if yall wanna but dunno if ull understand my handwriting)

We begin where we left off and I love that we have this scene of them needing to clean up, adds realism, adds dimension to the world. Love also that we begin with Lata being the Lata we all love - dejected in this case about her chimera paw was ruined. Queue Carlos with the teasing. The 2 of em banter a bit before Mary redirects us all to the matter at hand.

And Mary has come a long way in these episodes, because she may not join the banter (still closed off somewhat as opposed to Carlos and Lata's easy repartee) but she is going off of it and adding them into her area of interest.

But all stops when John come in blood soaked and in shock - Mary instantly worried he might be hurt, but nope, not this time.

I am so happy to see them portray the actual shock and numbness John is feeling, then the guilt and sadness, just all the reaction to Kyle's death really. And considering the survivor's guilt John is lugging around, it makes it even more heartbreaking. I also love seeing that Mary is the level headed one here - she,.imo, is clearly pushing down the grief to focus on John's issues here, hell we see very little of her grieving in this episode and everytime we do, she's quick to redirect that feeling into action - sometimes into violence point blank. She does it here, asking what the Akrida could want, she does it even moreso with Millie, where she does open up a bit since Millie is offering comfort, but then it turns into Millie coming with a plan which directly leads to Mary wanting to storm the police station guns blazing and the ep ends with Mary and John discussing Kyle (also god Mary looks absolutely exhausted here, fuck) but Mary derails it by saying they need to find Dean instead. She's def not allowing herself the moment to deal with Kyle's death which may prove relevant when discussing next episode.

I'd forgotten this ep was the Lata episode. Like ep 8 was Carlos', this one is Lata's. And god does it hurt.

1st, move the feather boa, Carlos!

2nd, I do genuinely believe Lata and Maggie were together. Everything in this episode points that way to me (but especialy the sweetpea nickname) We'll round back to this though.

The other thing we note in the sequence in Maggie's room is how close Carlos and Lata are to each other. Which we knew, but I always love seeing it again in action.

Before we continue with the emotional core of this ep, we have to get back to plot with Betty! I love Betty..I also can't blame her for being ....hesitant to say the least. Like imagine what she's seen so far: the guy who, before leaving to the marines illegally, proposed to her, is suddently interacting with, apparently, imfamous Mary Campbell, who is seen at several murder/investigation scenes suddenly appears ro have killed someone? And she already knows John had anger issues before hand. Like i get her here. And still shes trying to be nice while doing her job.

Which leads me to the next part, her job. So the detective... he's wording (even with him being really Akrida) echoes a lot of corrupt cop rethoric which only gets further emphasized when he later threatens to have John... killed 'accidently'. And, on top of them, speaking pf policw corruption even a 'good cop' like Betty becomes complicit simply because of the power the Akrida gained via the detective role cuz she was unwittingly helping them throughout.

But god, was John a bit too cocky here. (My notes have this marked as "this is why you let villains monologue, John!"). Especially since he actually doesn't have any info on Dean. (Love that we see the pic of Dean, missed him) l.

Meanwhile Lata and Carlos have found the bracelet and it's fucked them over. Also, I fucking hate the shadows thing, very creepy. Also also it reminds me of the daeva that Meg uses in s1 of SPN. I'm also reminded of SPN with the story the detective tells John about how they'll get rid of him - SPN's own crooked cop ep featured exactly this sorta plan too, but in killing Dean.

Really though, the main thing I found interesting upon rewatch is just how much Lata is our Dean mirror in this one. Specifically, in getting targeted by the bracelet she's forced to relive a trauma (Sania's death) via Carlos acting as substitute, only this time she succeeds where prior she thought she failed (which lemme make clear, no, Lata was at no point and in no way at fault, but she did internalize that guilt - much like Dean tends to internalize guilt) . Which Dean, much like Lata ends up doing when getting involved with this universe, ends up reliving a trauma (his parents death - Mary especially) of something he failed, in his mind, to prevent/save via rescuing this universe's Mary. And much like Lata, who can't undo what happened to Sania, but can "begin to make it better" (the Hey Jude line just hit me so I had to use it), so too can Dean. It won't change what happened in his life, wont save his mom, but it will help him heal nonetheless.

Adding to this Maggie? Who opperates as a Cas parallel here - she was Lata's person, who shared everything with Lata but Lata couldn't in turn for fear of judgement/shame, who notably is dead and thus Lata can't ever reveal her secret to. Well, it hurts is what it does.

But watching this I noticed another interesting thing though, for all that the bracelet seems to work like Osiris (pulling on the guilt the person feels is most agregious), the bracelet actually seems to want the wearer to get out. Carlos is taken just as Lata begins wondering which secret it's trying to make her face and is sent to Sania's room - direct answer. Then later,.even more blatant, using Maggie's face, tries to get Lata to disclose the secret, but Lata talks around it instead til the creature takes her too.

It seems like Erebus had a test for his warriors, one he wanted them to win.

Throughout all of Lata's story, I was seething. I truly hate her family and Carlos was 100% saying exactly what I was thinking.

Another thing I appreciated though, about Carlos, is the emotional maturity. Yes they were dying and yes it was urgent that Lata disclose her secret but Carlos made certain to reassure her throughout. Tried to give her as much space as possible.

In other thoughts, Lata's mom making that "vs family" distinction, uuuh it rattled sth in me only to them have Lata say "my parents would never look at m the same way"? In the Dean Winchester show? God, the echoes of John's shitty parenting were deafening. Bur yes to eveything Carlos said. It truly wasnt Lata's fault.

And I adore also the ending conversation between Lata and Carlos (both wearing blue and god I want Carlos' coat) because yes, this kind of stuff shouldn't be forced out on anither persons whim. Lata doesn't have to tell John and Mary anything, it is her story to tell, but also yes, Carlos is right to reassure her that if she wants to share it with them, they'll likely react well like he did. And yes the reason this particular scene hit so hard is partially personal, but because of that it drove me insane in SPN where there was a tendency for people to push other to open up at their own whim (and yes, Sam did it often to mutiple people, hounding them until they cracked and spilled whatever trauma they were trying to deal with but then have nothing to give in return, no comfort or even really reaction, and yes he most of all did it to Dean a lot and it did puss me off) So yea, love this episode for the Lata and Carlos of it all!

Also I have a few questions, when Millie was trying to convince Betty about the supernatural, at one point she said "it's not like-" and cut off. She was trying to defend against the accusation of 'playing make believe). Also, Betty says sth like "Mary, I expected.this from" with relation once more to her not believing in monsters soooo.... has Mary ever been taken in under suspicion of being delusional? Was Millie? Or John?! I've questions ok i need y'alls opinions on this one.

Also, I would've soo cracked if the Akrida asked about Dean, cuz I def miss him a lot and id fucking gush about him at that point.

Anyways, that's it for this one. See you guys next time where we'll be clowning (have I mentioned I hate clowns?)

@noybusiness thanks for push earlier this month, i needed that a lot and thanks for the support for this rewatch ❤

@shallowseeker thanks the new posts, been inspiring me to get back to writing this ❤

[cherrylite17]

Between us episode 12

posting this earlier than i normally do so some minor spoilers ahead i suppose :)

honestly, I didn’t write much down as I wanted to actually watch this episode without pausing (another reason for me posting this today so i don’t forget my thoughts (of which i have few))

I am so happy that Team got to talk to his aunt. That conversation was much needed. I mean, last time they saw eachother, she didn't say much to him which really just lead him to believe that she still was mad with him. I can't believe they had me nearly crying like 5 minutes in because of it as well :3

all the couples got a happy ending! though i will admit there were things that didn't happen in this episode that i wish they did (like team telling his parents that they were together even though they already knew because listen i love me a good emotional coming out to parents scene so i can live vicariously through that and pretend their parents comforting them are my parents accepting me as well even though i'd never come out to my parents)

like literally, all the couples got a happy ending. i dont just mean with eachother but like, manow got a role, prince's manager was more accepting, waan and tul... waan and tul... waan and tul... :3 they are all happy.

not a note on the show or the episode but the OST. around the 42-ish minute mark, when they were on the beach, there was piano playing in the background. and my mind, like so quickly, was like "holy shit, this is luckiest boy. i know that song when i hear it i love this song i cant believe they're using it here omgomgomgomg" but still i was like ehhh maybe i just like the song so much that im projecting and its not actually luckiest boy and they just had piano and then... it was luckiest boy (actually sobbing i love that song)

final note: i initially didn't understand why Team was like "hey win im gonna challenge you to swimming".. i was like.,,,, really?? all this for that??? and then i realized holy shit this is fucking so emotional. Last time Team challenged someone he loved to swimming competition, that person died... like literally they died. this part (him challenging win) while at first kinda confusing, is i think among the most emotional parts of the show. like this is where all the growth leads. he finally forgave himself, he finally trusts himself and the person he loves. like he is idk it just hit a little different once i realized that it was meant to be symbolic of all this growth

but yeah... Between us is finally over. any final thoughts? no absolutely not. As much as i loved the show i do feel that the rewatch value is kinda low (though tbf i did just finish it so of course im not going to want to rewatch it)

not that anyone really cares but i dont think there will be a series for a while where i am posting my thoughts as i watch it (though i may occasionally comment on my school president or never let me go as i watch them and other shows i already watched if i decide to rewatch or completely non-bl related shows (i still havent watched the last episode of show me the money 11 and i already know im going to have too many thoughts on that )) but for now, thats been me and my thoughts >:) thanks to all who read them lol

[vinmauro]

fanfic tag game

tagged by @userbats & @spoookysix, thank you both!! sorry this took me days to complete

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7, soon to be 8 and more whenever i finish writing and editing.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

240,340 words across posted works.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stranger things. bc as i told my mom, it's the only show i'm comfortable with bc of how many times i've watched it. i'd probably write ted lasso if i wasn't so painfully usamerican and anti sport.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

stranger i know so well at 150 kudos don’t, dont, don’t throw it away at 66 kudos pretty eyed, pirate smile at 52 kudos i will love you without any strings attached at 31 kudos tied me to you at 24 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i didn't used to but i just started to! i felt ummm weird about it and self-conscious but now i just think it's nice to say thank you<3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't think i have one!! this one i'm currently writing might actually lmao.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhh i think all of mine are pretty happy tbh. i think the happiest is peps bc i have a headcanon they get married in the front yard of the house so chrissy and barb could be there. also yk halloween graveyard wedding bc nancy caved to eddie's whims.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, not outwardly. but i wouldn't be surprised since i write mostly about rarepairs that people hate<3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

not really. i'll write smut adjacent things and lead ups but not the actual act, no.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i don't have one currently except for the stranger things x buffy the vampire slayer au that's in my head. i need another btvs rewatch (and to finish this one i'm on but i don't want to watch the last episode ya feel???) and to finish my other current wips. but all i have to say is nancy wheeler as the slayer uhhhh slays?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i have not but it'd be cool!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

twice. one of my first ever oc fics i once started co-writing with a friend of mine during a sort of all nighter after watching the crow. it did not last long and i ended up writing some more of it myself. and another time with a friend back when i wrote hp fanfic (groans @ past) but that never finished.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

i don't know if i have one. i have fandom specific ones but an all time favorite is too much to ask!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

band fic you'll always be famous!!!!! (ronance one shot from it when????)

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think characterization is like the only thing i have going for me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

grammar!!! tense switching for sure.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i usually try to stay away from it bc google translate isn't always to be trusted and then there's like regional specific translations and oof. i doubt myself even with saying like a word or two in a language i vaguely understand.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i wrote bandfic when i started. mostly about good charlotte and mest. and occasionally early crackfic crossovers where all my favorite band people and skateboarders just uhhhh hung out... it made no sense but i was 11 so. embarrassingly enough the first non-band fic i wrote was harry potter. we all have to start somewhere i guess.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

peps. it'll always be my favorite ever.

no pressure tags: @stargyles, @rejectofsociety, @sweetpeapod & anyone who sees this and would like to do it<3

[nosleepwriting]

What WN means to me:

i watched it initially for Avatrice, ofc i did. one day during lockdown i randomly saw a crack vid of avatrice and decided to watch it. not even knowing if they end up together or if they kiss or if they become canon. i didnt watch the whole vid so i wont spoil everything, which was weird because ever since lexa, i dont watch shows without knowing that the sapphic couple would be together and happy.

did you know where i stopped? i stopped during the part where ava phased out of the wall, breathless and scared, and beatrice was there to catch her. maybe it was the way she looked, the way kristina's eyes shined as beatrice holding alba's ava in her hands that convinced me that yup these two are in love. or at least bea is. this isnt a crack ship. this is real.

so i watched s1. tbh, im one of the people who thought s1 was slow bec if im being rlly honest, i watched it for avatrice. but i wasnt expecting to love ava, that running on the beach scene loving life, alba's acting of laughing and crying and breathless under the stars with the sand below her and the ocean just in front, and watching THAT during the fucking pandemic ???? that saved me from a lot of dark thoughts swirling in my head. i wasnt expecting a family. a real found family that even when mary and lilith were fighting each other to death you can tell that there's love, there's history. there's sisterhood. i wasnt expecting that from a show with 'Warrior Nun' as a title. and not bec i thought it was silly but bec i thought it was one of those female-led show made for men.

long story short, i finished it. search tumblr for a bit for content, then twitter, then ao3, as one usually does and then nothing. i moved on, peacefully. even if that s1 cliffhanger was far from peaceful. bec i was sure there would be an s2 with that kind of ending. i went on with my life and continued to consume other media.

until october 2022. i didnt even knew they were filming s2. i saw the s2 trailer in yt randomly again. there they were. dancing. i was like how did these two go from fighting an angel?-jesus-like-incarnate in s1 to dancing casually in a bar?? i was scared at first, maybe this isnt the same show that i'll come back to bec lets be honest most s2 of a really good s1 most of a time is a let down. but then i saw the "your jealous" "that's absurd" part and i was like yup those two are in love and im going to watch this just so i can see how they do it.

for extra context (i know this is getting super long but i honestly dont care im doing this for me), im reviewing for the boards and getting invested in anything other than my studies would be really bad. i was catious with what media to consume because i need to focus on my studies. even so, i watched the final ep for context and carry the feeling before watching the first episode. the legendary fucking first episode. the hands behind teasing walk, the kiss cheek, the dance, the stare (i dont have to explain this, u know what im talking about) i replayed all of those moments 10 times bec WOW they weren't holding back.

then everything else. the little moments leading to the big ones were satisfying and so perfectly excuted that i cant even watch it with my girlfriend bec she gets mad that i keep repeating the scenes and slowing them down to take it all in. halfway through s2, i knew i was gonna watch it again. and i only really did that for 2 other shows (shera and the wilds s1, atla and tlok dont count bec i rewatch them periodically and not right after finishing) but u know what i didnt do to those other two that i did with warrior nun? i watched it a third time in a bigger screen just so i can see more. i watched in a 4th time with my girlfriend. i watched it a 5th time just so i can move on with my life and i watched it a 6th time because i missed them and i can't. i watched it a 7th time because i won't. and at this point i lost count at how much i rewatched the show. i would stream it during studying just so i could have them on screen and be inspired with finishing so i can watch them.

im just really heartbroken right now. with all this.

[whatamibutaperson]

rant time!!! this is gonna be ALL about adventure time so strap in and listen!! (spoilers ahead)

i have been watching adventure time for literally all my life. probably since it first came out in 2010. and that fact i finally finish the series 13 years later is just. wow.

building off of that. i am so attached to these characters that i just broke down when i finished the series. like in distant lands during episode "together again" i just started sobbing. like these characters that i have loved my whole life are now dead and ahh!! it hurts so much!!!!! and finn and jake had one last adventure together fighting off literal death before being reincarnated and forgetting all of their memories as finn and jake :(. also and thats another thing!!! the fact that they have always found each other after death and gotten reincarnated together is just so !!!!!! their bond is brotherly which leads me to another point

i will probably never have a relationship like finn and jake. im a girl, with no brothers, so that means probably no brotherly bonds, especially ones you grow up developing and stuff. even despite that, ill probably never have a friendship like theirs' either which is so sad :(((((

ill also never have adventures like theirs either!!! like in modern times growing up in a treehouse with a magic dog, a mini robot, and surrounded by candy people is not likely to happen. even without all the magical stuff, just having adventures like them fighting off bad guys and stuff will never happen :(

my favorite character is bmo and let me tell you why! first, bmo is genderless throughout the entire show, which is amazing! and bmo is literally like the character who has saved multiple worlds from collapsing while still managing to build relationships and have a childlike attitude to things!! like amazing job bmo!!! also the sounds bmo makes while moving around are so nice. the little clickity clacks while he moves around is so calming! and the whole thing with football is a little weird but its so cute because you know bmo will always have a friend no matter where he goes!!

i feel incredibly guilty and bad because i messed up rewatching the show :(. i was watching it on hulu, which doesn't have the very last episode. i of course didnt know this and watched all of distant lands before the last episode of the series. i just kinda thought the show wanted the viewer to interpret what happened in the mushrooms wars their own way. and i suppose it worked out kinda, like for the dl episodes BMO, and the pep. butler one it works out because those dont necessarily build off of the finale. but for obsidian and together again its kinda crucial to watch the finale, especially for obsidian. like you need to know that marcy and bonny made up and became girlfriends in the finale before watching obsidian where they are suddenly gfs and kiss (which is just so good and i love they finally got together!!), and also why simon is suddenly no ice king anymore. and for together again, i would consider it important to just watch the finale and know that jake didnt die some horrible death during the mushroom wars, rather dying of old age like finn, plus its just kinda normal to watch the finale of the series before watching the two main characters die.

okay i think thats all for now but if i need to add something on i absoutely will!!!

[larrythefloridaman]

Rewatch notes update! Cpuk 12-14! These notes are getting Dense as i have to resist the urge to give play by plays. The P. Rool arc sits below the cut.

CPUK12! j0hn intro ep of sode <3

Johannsen's champion ruleset is kept a secret at first, but as im sure you'll remember, was 'i get to fight in all round 3s. because im boredt im here to scrap not sit around in the champion's suite.'

Introduces team calibur as the team of disrespect and Possible Evil. Korioni the ice dragon from hell being the first calibur contestant post crimson is very funny to me especially because it's the Chill head talking in this episode. Hell has no ice but hes just vibing with it. Ryan: "Squid Jenny tried to go down and ask like 'whats your story?' and all she got was 'I'm an ice dragon from hell.'" Comona: "no big deal." Ryan: "He's not like 'YOU ALL WILL SUFFER, BLEGH' hes just like 'yeah im from hell. dont worry about it.' Comona: "like 2000s neopets rp boards." Korioni: "grass grows, birds fly, and brother? I'm from hell." Chill head's Dramatic And Aggro brother getting retroactively vagued about

Spaghebbi <3 Comona has heard of her, from when she applied to the tournament, looking over her resume, and she uses the stage name spaghebbi to advertise her restaurant of the same name to boost her brand.

Team charm, Pixel! Fashionable funny doggie here to look good and give the world a show.

Team clutch, Jacob. Normal suburban 11 year old who plays fortnite that acquired special powers after killing real actual ganondorf from the legend of zelda. He's the nephew of Somebody in cpu kerfuffle. Jay's submission information: 'also jacob's like. Stupid. Like REALLY stupid even for an 11 year old.' Guess we know why he didn't notice anything was weird considering the guy he's the protege of, punished k. rool, isn't actually there but rather Some Guy Stealing His Identity,

Team Chonk P. Rool! Plumb <3 As we eventually learn the intro information on p. rool is only applicable to the guy he stole the identity of. But the real punished k. rool is a rude ass chaos fiend who's scales dulled to brown after enduring a punishing training arc. 

Team cones! John my beloved <3 Comona: "Everybody knows Hackers are meant to be disruptive, to lurk in the shadows but Hackerman John not exactly the kind of hacker people would think him to be. He has his very very long universal key- the Skeleton Key if you would- but he doesn't just use it to hack, but he also uses it to slice and dice. He'll hack but you're gonna know he's coming." Ryan: "but you know what key he uses the most right?" Comona: "which ones that?" Ryan, doing a shulk impression: "BACKSLASH!"

Team Cross, johnathan joestar. Jojokes. Gentlemanliness.

Team Craken, Duke Salad! King of the crop. That thing's straight up just some lettuce Hoedown and Patch grew that came to life <3

Exhibition match- Johannsen vs. Blond Sora! Ryan realizes he hasnt put johannsen into the system yet and comona and Ryan joke about maybe needing john to help out with fixing the overlays

Duke salad v. P. Rool - P. Rool's infamous comeback potential is first described RIGHT out the gate. Comona: "when you're fighting P. Rool and you're in the lead, you don't want to give him time to consider the last time he got his ass beat, you don't want to let him imagine that wall because he will use those feelings." Haha yeah he sure will. Several tournaments of forced losses will sure as fuck give him Some Feelings To Use.

Duke Salad nearly zeroes to death the first stock of the second match and P. Rool dunks him anyway for a 2-0. Comona: "P. Rool THRIVES when he's behind."

Pixel vs. Johnathan. Commentators still nervous about Johannsen's special secret rule. Jojokes abound. Pixel is trying too hard to style on johnathan. Pixel gets 2-0'd and three stocked, and Johnathan finds his tenacity inspiring. Pixel: "dont patronize me." But he isnt hes just earnest like that

Hackerman John vs. The Ice Dragon From Hell, Korioni. A joke is made about John sounding like Patrick Warburton, which. god. god no. Awful. /lh 

Ryan: "See, I've played enough Overwatch to know you don't actually need compatible technology to hack, you can just go LEGS? HACKED, COMBAT ROLL? HACKED, FLASH GRENADE? HACKED."

They land in reset bomb forest for match one and Ryan says Korioni casually burned this village down because it was full of sinners, You Know How It Is, and now uses the burnt space as a vacation home. Huh.

Comona: "my favorite part about hackerman john is the way that he actually hacks his own body, like he bulks up his muscles and a variety of other various things. The weird part about it is he's not even a cyborg or anything he just hacks… muscles." Ryan: "taking tips from Sombra." lol. lmao

They go stock for stock, despite commentators concerned at the start that John would, as a simple mortal hacker, have trouble dealing with An Actual Literal Dragon. Korioni is also confused by this. Korioni: "why is this Mortal giving me so many problems what is his Deal?" John bullies immortals for fun moments <3

J0hn activates Glass Cannon Protocol (smash art) last stock high percents and goes 'either im hitting and winning or getting hit and losing. either way im making it end here' and Comona admires the gumption even though it costs john the match. John's Decisive Straightforwardness is probably something Larry admires about him honestly, considering how much more fidget-y about what-ifs he seemed to be before they were together, based on the nccts. Guy who "knows exactly who he is and what he wants to be" (cpuk17) for sure.

Also, commentators use she/her a few times for Korioni in addition to he/him, or at least, as canon later establishes them as a hydra, the Normal Chill Guy head. (nccts making it clear this head's individual name is Jonny. Lot of johns and jons in this tournament. CPU Kerfuffle, shockingly, one of the only shows ive enjoyed with a somewhat realistic amount of Johns.) Good for her!

John doesn't do so hot in the first match or the start of the second, but starts playing dirty and quickly, disrespectfully turns the set around. The first round three of the tournament reveals Johannsen's special rule- The Rat Fights in All Round Threes, at a lower cpu level. (Its funny to me that every time ryan wants to nerf a character he lowers the cpu levels but like. That doesnt make them Weaker it makes them Dumber, which sometimes is Advantageous- there's a brief terrifying moment where johannsen is in the lead despite being lower leveled because sometimes a lower level cpu will go for plays a level 9 would be too smart to go for or expect and sometimes, that pays off!) Anyhow. John utilizes the rat as a distraction to make easier work of Korioni. Korioni's a little scared of the rat.

Comona: "John must have paused the game to get that tech because that was IMPOSSIBLE." There's a joke about John's 'hackerman eyes' and him getting visions of the Very Immediate future and skipping them if they're just not interesting enough. Understanding in retrospect why I got so attached to The Visor as a design element. Also, Quad, in a later episode: "I can't see the future. Yet." Why you holding out on the man, John? Gonna share the precog software with the rest of the class? Anyway. potentially another drop of evidence in my 'sensitivity to/ability to manipulate/perceive the script is generally perceived as Weird Psychic Phenomena by the denizens of the cpukverse but doesn't seem to be Known About, Understood or Believed In outside specific circles' worldbuilding speculation bucket

Jacob vs. Spaghebbi. Spaghebbi replaced her arms with spaghetti. Jacob is an 11 yr old that plays fortnite. He feels Exactly like captain falcon when he wipes out tilted towers. Jacob is the kind of kid to eat microwave chicken nuggets off of the fine china. Comona and Ryan chatter nervously about how it feels almost like theyre watching a real person play as Spaghebbi plays with her food. They feel like Spaghebbi could pass the turing test. Jacob gets spaghetti sauced on. 

Losers bracket! Duke Salad vs. Pixel. Ryan: "so. who do you think is going to win, and Be Nice About it." Comona: "to put this lightly- as lightly as possible to be kind as i can… after Pixel's SHAMEFUL display in winners bracket, i don't see pixel standing a CHANCE against duke salad. If i put it any lighter than that I would be telling you lies."

Johnathan taught Pixel Hamon and Pixel did much better against the Duke than expected in their first match. I don't know enough about jojos to comment on this. Pixel and the Duke go stock for stock in match 2, and Duke takes it. Game Three. Rat Time. Ryan: "From what I know about Pixel, they're gonna get tilted by the rat, but maybe their training with Johnathan has made them a little more patient."

The Red Kraken visits Patch farms often, but Duke Salad's never ridden on their ship, the Crimson Melody. Duke salad makes the match a 2v1 and takes johannsen and pixel stocks in a killstreak. Duke Salad's patience is emphasized, between poison cloud and the special cannonball move, and takes Pixel's last stock.

Korioni vs. Jacob. Jacob just wandered in here and fought a restaurant owner and is now fighting An Ice Dragon From Hell. 11yr old fortnite player vs. A Dragon. Ryan: "equal power."

Yoshi's Island. Comona: "ah, this is where korioni actually grew up, when they were a young wyrmling." Ryan: "yeah, before The Great Catastrophe. You'll see the great catastrophe later on I'm sure." Korioni: "you are 11 years old? It's cute that you have a concept of time." 

Ryan: "I love the lore with Korioni right now, she's just an eldritch being but she's like. Incredibly Chill about it. Pun intended." Comona: "completely intended."

Korioni is getting her ass beaten by an 11 year old because Kori keeps trying to outplay jacob and stumbling into failure. Jacob is not winning, korioni is losing, crucial difference. Korioni starts bringing it back, until Jacob fucking Gets Him offstage. Comona: "the dragon's pride is often their downfall."

(Knocking on door) Are You Winning Son? Jacob, with his single bouncing screensaver braincell: "yeah im winning i Love bloodsport!"

Second match, Korioni's home turf, Hell. Korioni loses her first stock in less than 20 seconds. Comona says Jacob's gotta be scouted for esports teams soon looking at these plays.

Korioni's losing the spirit to fight and goes yknow what? Maybe I should just leave the fighting to the kids and go continue being An Awesome Dragon From Hell instead, maybe cpu kerfuffle just isn't for me. Jonny gave it a go and isnt interested in showing up again. As we see later though, his siblings/other heads however…

Korioni and Pixel go for coffee as the first guys out. Comona: "I'd love to see a just… ice dragon from hell. At starbucks." Ryan: "yeah, with this fashion gay wolf." Comona: "power couple." Ryan: "we should leave the gossip to squid jenny." huh. pixel/jonny. donkey and dragon from shrek type beat

P. Rool vs Johnathan Joestar. Comona suggests Jojo's nurturing empathy and Punished K. Rool, who thrives on punishment, are bound to clash over fundamentally opposed ideals. As we know, this isnt actually punished k. rool but Plum, who's 'thriving when punished' comeback factor is more fueled by rage than anything. Match goes about as they usually do for Plum- hes losing at first, down to the wire, and then firmly Doesn't. Death by chonk. Lot of jojokes i do not understand. Johnathan homie stocks while down a game. Ryan suggests it was so his lead doesn't stay too big and activates Prool's punishment complex. Comona: "P. Rool functions on revenge and revenge alone, and Johnathan knows better than to let him tap into those selfishly driven emotions. P. Rool still does his stupid comeback thing. For the fourth time. Ryan's start of darkness, almost whining: "die already..." Comona: "this is- this is rapidly approaching plot armor levels of ridiculous."

John vs. Spaghebbi. Comona: "for all intents and purposes if someone didnt know what this was, you'd walk up to these two and these are just two people fighting in the streets, like whats going on, but despite these two's normal, grassroots upbringings, these are two formidable opponents. I'm reminded of the dragonball world fighting tournaments- these are people who just fight as a hobby and enjoy it and testing their abilities."

Comona: "johns a very sneaky player, i always feel like johns getting sauced and then i actually look and percents are even." Ryan: "hes very funny because he'll look like hes getting his ass kicked and then hes just. winning." John survives past 200% on his first stock without using Shield Protocol.

John chokes last minute in their second match, throwing because He Wanted The Rat. He Has Chosen The Rat. Guy who is Completely Willing and Unphased By the prospect of embarrassing himself if it means getting to see a lil guy. Its suggested this was an attempt at a strategic play but if it was it did Not work out. He wanted to see a little guy. lets be honest. Spaghebbi's playing loose, cutting loose, putting on her fucking footloose. Feet, foot feet, dance on your fucking feet.

The giants from majora's mask are hired on staff to keep the moon from crashing into the beach. 

Comona: "Hackerman John's gonna need to hire some help to get through this one." Ryan audibly struggles to confidently remember Dan's name to make a joke about John hiring him. John gets very close to bringing it back, but ultimately spaghebbi takes it. 

Chat member: "Hackerman John and Shapeshifter Larry. Gay?" Ryan, with an air of mystery: "who knows?" the seed is planted.

Jojo v. Jacob. A gentleman must always shake hands first. Jacob knows jojo memes and nothing else about it. Jojo loses a stock second match at 10 seconds in. Jacob really really really likes upsmashes. This set is mostly direct match commentary. People chant and beg and PLEAD for the rat and they get what they want. Jojo, Jacob, Johannsen. J. Jacob wins.

Chat member: "what is Johannsen's Last name?" Ryan: "no idea, have to get squid jenny to check on that." There's speculation in chat about Johannsen being, in some sense, a jojo,

Hackerman John vs. Duke Salad. John loses his first stock VERY fast. You can't hack a plant. It's not allowed. It doesn't work. John loses first match spectacularly. Ryan is getting a report from the field. Ryan: "Hackerman John's showing some weird signs of… something, he's panting really hard, he's sweating a lot according to Squid Jenny- maybe if this goes to round three we'll see what's going on." John manages to pull ahead and take round 2.

Ryan: "update on the report from the field from Jenny, the sweating from hackerman John has continued, and with that successful victory, he's making an announcement to everybody. Let me make sure I'm hearing this right- 'time to reveal the true form.' I don't know what that means but I get the feeling we're about to find out." Strangest part of this is how much effort it appears to take for John to… whatever this is. He changes form pretty casually later and it doesn't seem like maintaining his human-looking appearance takes him any active effort in later appearances, nor do I see why it would, so my best guess is he's psyching himself up to do the Robot Reveal and. maybe powering through having a bit of a panic attack about it? In nccts terms this is extra interesting because this is the moment on a narrative level he's first established as robotic in nature and as gaiden 2 and then the nccts later establish this means, script-sensitive, which j0hn explicitly mistakes for/processes as anxiety, so this must've Felt Pretty Weird.

Anyhow, introducing- Hackerbot J0hn! With a freshly minted zero in his name. In a sudden turn of events, the reason he can augment himself so freely is because he's a robot that can hack other bots. And its round three, so there's also a Rat In The Mix. Duke Salad: "...I just fucking work here, man." 

J0hn, now working with the fullness of his robotic potential, still is not used to it even a little bit and does not do well. Drawbacks of not using your fucked up science-granted powers unless you think you need them for practical reasons- having MUCH less practice at using them than your boyfriend who uses his every ten minutes for fun or because he cant help it, I suppose. He's still hacking himself on the fly but in a very different style, Ryan says. He's actively less effective in combat in his 'true form' than he is in his human 'disguise,' but J0hn's just happy to have shown off his true self to the world and heads off to relax and get coffee. Ryan: "He can't drink it, but he's gonna go get it." 😔

Winners Finals. Prool vs. Spaghebbi. Round one goes to prool and its stupid and makes ryan understandably angry. Ryans asking the referees to double check and make sure all that was legal, and it seems to be. Round 2 goes similarly, even with Spaghebbi trying to play defensively against Prool's comeback power. Ryan admits as Spaghebbi loses 2-0 that he doesnt want Prool to be champion and, after saying he shouldn't metagame, that he cant just make him ditch to go back to his home dimension like dani, he says, no, fuck it, he doesnt want Prool to be champion, and hes willing to cheat to stop it from happening. 

Round one is thrown out with concerns about the legitimacy of the win on grounds of Prool pulling some fuckshit. Spaghebbi is given another match with him to set the record for real. Spaghebbi was perfectly fine with losing, but the refs called her out for a redo and she wasn't going to turn down another shot at winning. Prool is starting to get irritated with this- the refs gave their first round the a-okay already, why do they have to redo it anyway? Regardless, Prool fully confirms his 2-0.

Jacob vs. Duke salad. Mostly just match commentary, but a very fun set. Duke Salad's got his eyes on a rematch with Prool. 'Duke, you killed a child… Amazing!'

Duke Salad vs Spaghebbi. FOOD FIGHT. Round one on fountain of dreams. Very even, very steady very tense. Ryan's blatant bias is for duke salad, and the duke takes match one. Round 2 goes to Spaghebbi. Rat Time. Johannsen does very little and Spaghebbi wins.

Grand finals. Spaghebbi and Prool rematch. Getting a report from the field before the first round- Duke Salad has given Spaghebbi a gift. A House Salad, from the duke himself. She eats the salad and throws herself into the first match with Prool. 

Spaghebbi gets the first stock even after a cannonball to the head. Prool's comeback potential looms. Spaghebbi takes it to a last stock situation and Ryan holds his breath, trying not to hope, and he was right not to. Prool takes it last second despite Spaghebbi's huge percent lead. Ryan cant even bear to comment.

Round 2. Green Greens. Ryan keeps trying not to have hope Spaghebbi will take this so he wont be disappointed, his biases now fully, shamelessly on display, having turned against Prool entirely. Chat Member: "Hangry, red, villainous, anyone else think something's up?" Ryan: "...hm. i dont wanna make any assumptions, but…"

Ryan admits to being salty as chat comments on his deafening silence watching Prool and Spaghebbi fight, fully convinced she's going to lose. Hes right. she does. Prool wins.

Ryan openly declares he will not allow prool to become champion as he queues up the championship match. Ryan, talking out of his ass: "I know what you did, Punished K. Rool. I know. And I'm not letting you do it here." ← this is nothing and goes nowhere. he is using his powers of storytelling to say fuck this lizard because he doesnt want him to win <3

Hes too mad to even commentate about johannsen losing to Prool. He is grumbling and grouching and salty and peeved. 

Its time to break some rules! And so an exception is enshrined IN the rules- fuck prool. prool is jumped by a collection of competitors to be prevented from taking his earned championship- Johannsen, Captain Valentine, Big Yopper, Spaghebbi, Duke Salad, Rights Sentience, and Mario from Super Mario. Most of them are said to be there for revenge of some kind in a very handwavey sense, rights is supposedly there because Prool is 'an affront to rights,' ironic given this whole exchange is the tournament wrenching away Prool's rightfully earned win on a basis of 'fuck that guy in particular.' I assume while revenge is the blanket statement the real motive for the participating parties here is another chance at championship despite the breach of rules and fairness, not unlike Spaghebbi's unearned redo, and not unlike the competitors apparently devolving into mad max shenanigans offscreen when the champion's seat was left 'unclaimed' during the hiatus. (it was captain crimsons. but this was apparently left unacknowledged for 'fuck that guy' reasons which like. Is justified in a vacuum but is and has Become even more kinda retroactively weirdly targeted over time in a way as the comedically driven moral double standard about murder in the show reveals itself, as is hilariously demonstrated by the commentators discussing letting the Grunk, himself manslaughtered and brought back which everyone hates crimson for, just attack and/or kill whoever he wants if it's funny in the next season and as is briefly discussed in the nccts. Murder is okay but only if we like you and its funny 👍)

Ryan had fun watching him get ganged up on. Valentine gets the last hit in, and the three characters who got kills on prool enter a four player free for all with him and whoever wins gets championship. Ryan: "if Prool wins this one, I promise I will accept it. Just kidding I'll pull some other bullshit because im a bitch baby The Real Championship Begins!"

Captain Valentine wins, finally getting his groove back after 11. Captain Valentine: "Fuck That Rat!" Ryan: "Honestly? To be fair? Right now? You know what, I think Captain Valentine's just happy that in the end he doesnt have to fight that FUCKING rat again." 

Ryan throws that rat at him for shits and giggles. Apparently this fight is happening because Val just wants to put his pride back together. He is doing worse than last time at first, but hes developing a begrudging respect for the little fella, and manages to pull out a win. Ryan promises Prool can come back next tournament and try again, for the sake of fairness, and dont worry chat, he has a plan.

CPUK13! ryan catches jay and comona up to speed. Jay, punished k. rool and jacob came from another universe. They had tickets for the Dimensional Plane (GOOD pun, and also very funny confirmation that the bus is not the only means of public interdimensional transport. In the nccts universes are implied to have some element of physical proximity/distance between universes to account for with regard to travel time, what with nelson warp not being instantaneous and such. so i suppose it makes sense there might be different forms of dimensional transport accommodating for said travel time, planes are faster long distance than cars and all,) but jay couldnt go. Punished K. Rool was such a heel however that noone wanted him to win, so there was a 7v1 to stop him from becoming champion. Jay: "yeah thats about accurate to what i expected."

Ryan: "now, this was a very big breach of The Rules, and the Iggy Collective elected, in the interest of fairness, to invite P. Rool back to try again, along with some other people." 'In the interest of fairness' is the Funniest way that could be put because whats fair about that. You blocked him from becoming champion as a group Just Because You Dont Like Him, and then tell him 'you can go ahead and try again if you want!' With full intent to do it again if he wins. Like thats not fairness you are playing matador and P. Rool is an angry bull for whom there is no winstate. "We'll let you win if you can win when we won't let you win."

Jay, talking about Punished: "Prool is a really good fighter, and yknow nobody likes to acknowledge that hes a really good fighter, because he's just an asshole. Hes the biggest heel. He counter picks to stages he wont even win on because he just wants to piss you off. He'll turn items on when its illegal." Ryan: "damn. What an asshole. We all hate him." Plum does not understand why everyone hates him so much, alas hes been mistaken for Some Guy Who Sucks whose behavior he obliviously resembles 😔

Zagreeus, from Hayds! Zagreeus is a 14 yr old edgy bi kid that loves and kins zagreus from hayds. His submission information states that he found zagreus's plight with his parents and life in darkness relatable, and has tried to summon gods before, failing every time but once, when a god took pity on him and didnt want him burning down his parents garage with a gasoline summoning circle. Some unnamed goddess granted him the powers he wanted, and with them, and equipped with his power glove (which is So Bad, and that he uses to play hayds,) he joined cpu kerfuffle. Okay so what id remembered about him kinning zagreus so hard he developed his powers either wasnt exactly accurate or that's how the commentators simplify it later or smthn because Wow

Matrimony Knight! Just likes marriage, especially gay marriage. Ryan princess bride mawwiage bit is going to happen All Night.

Genwun! My miserable little clown submission. Ngl when i submitted them i had No idea how bad some people's experiences with genwunners were, they were just A Bizarre Subset of Nostalgia Blind Internet Weirdos With Absurd Beliefs that i knew existed in the abstract but had never met any. Regardless, they get better though and genfour has evolved normal opinions about pokemon and willingness to accept the progression of time. they're my one and only cringefail submission and I do love them.

Chili's! Ryan: "I can't imagine what other restaurant chain a Red Robin would represent." Comona: "yeah, me either." Chili's will get so very angry with you if you label her as any other restaurant. The commentators react with confusion to Jay implying red robin was ever a restaurant that existed, and jay says it must be something that only exists in his dimension. It's all Chili's now. The family coming of age rites name change domination of a new restaurant thing established in cpuk 23 truly be rewriting history huh

Machiavelli! Submission information states: Machiavelli is a science project using the tournament as field practice for testing and creating the perfect killing machine, though it is sometimes very clueless, self-destructive and dimwitted in its actions and lacking knowledge. It adapts to mimic it's opponents fighting styles to learn as combat progresses. Exact sentience unknown, although its intelligence appears to sit somewhere between a child and a dog, loyally following the command of its 'owners,' but shows enough free will to act unprompted in pursuit of its own aimless whims. As for what Machiavelli is, and what he is made for, that information is as of yet unknown.

Twist! The mage aboard the red kraken and first member of the red kraken proper to appear. 

Sephiroth. Just The Real Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7 and remake. Ryan: "now you might be asking, 'why is he HERE?'" Jay: "do you think we could STOP HIM?! do you think WE know?!" He was not invited, he just showed up. Johannsen was gonna fight but Sephiroth was like *One-Winged Angel plays* (which follows him around like an aura) and Johansen was like *porky pig stammer* w. well Okay-

Sephiroth's comically long sword apparently pierced the hull of the Dimensional Plane and jay apologizes for possibly having brought this upon us all. I think sephiroth's sword should be like doug dimmadome's hat. Infinitely long so that you cant see the end of it whenever its funny for it to be that way

UPS Founder vs. Jacob exhibition match. Not much to comment on here, mostly just plain match commentary.

First match- Sephiroth vs. Chili's. Jay remarks nervously upon chili's resemblance to aerith, while discussing their hopes for the tournaments winners and Valentine's rule changes as champion- cutting a bunch of the weirder, messier stages off the list to leave mostly more clean, traditional ones. Chili's spellbook is a menu and her spells are named after menu items. Thoron is the bigmouth burger. Chili's down-aerithed him into hell <3 sephiroth, unamused: "puns are the lowest form of comedy." She remains rent free in his head the entire second round sending sephiroth to losers Immediately.

Jay: "does Chili's serve wings?" Ryan: "of course it does its a bar and grill, everywhere serves wings." Jay: "well it certainly does now!!" Ryan, getting it: "but only one wing." Comona: "you only get one. Choose Your Sauce Wisely."

Twist vs. Zagreeus. Extended bit about zagreeus being on a bad run and pronouncing greek gods names and things like weapons weird. zayus. Arr-TEM-is. Po-sedd-in. Shy-eld. Spee-are.

Comona: "zagreeus is failing the skill check, how did twist learn to fight like this?" Ryan: "she was born with it. And she may have absorbed the power of an eldritch god but thats beside the point."

Zagreeus loses hard first round. Jay: "if im zagreeus at this point im pulling out the cheat engine." Ryan: "you think so?" Comona: "i dont think the situations that dire yet, lets give him a little credit." Zag manages to take the second round on Gamer, as something of a gamer.

Jay: "if zagreeus is the son of hayds, then the son of zayus would be hercules?" (pronounced like molecules) Ryan: "no, its herakles, obviously" twist dunks zagreeus

Ryan starts queueing up p. rool and Jay pops off so hard it sounds like he stuck his microphone in his mouth. Jay: "im sorry. I get excited." 

Then machi gets queued up! Baby's first match, quick get the camera. Machi is small and light and Jay expresses concern for his ability to survive P. Rool's heavy hits. Jay: "of course, i have no reason to assume hes lightweight considering he's completely original and resembles no other character." Comona: "as much as i'd like to say Machi will pull out a win here, and I do think he'll get off to a hot start. P. Rool always comes back. Like a boomerang."

Ryan is trying to have hope P. Rool will lose. Jay makes the first comment suggesting something is amiss with regard to Punished K. Rool, saying that P. Rool as he knew him HAD been a huge heel but after eating a loss he'd gone away for awhile and when he returned, he'd thought he'd grown, showing his stuff as an incredibly good but much fairer fighter, and that this regression into heeldom is… odd. Machi's like one of the only fighters ive seen consistently dodge pretty successfully with plum's stupid fucking gun. Powerful little dodgebeast. Got SO close to beating p. rool first round. Machiavelli is so powerful and perfect and also balling <3

The second match is so frustrating because machi is working so hard. and i know it's for naught. Anyway its very funny that they describe Machi's battle prowess as 'playing 5D Chess' when babygirl you KNOW he's eating pieces. A close, exciting game.

Matri vs. Genwun. Jay: "having only played one game in their entire life, I think genwun's experiences- theyre pretty limited, having only played pokemon red and blue. I feel like Genwun's gonna lack the matchup knowledge they're gonna need here that they'd have if they played Literally Any Other Video Game or watched anything but Star Wars."

Ryan clarifies again for someone in chat that Iggy and his collective of friends and companions are the showrunners, staff currently including Squid Jenny as field reporter and Home MD as the field medic.

P. Rool hungrybox at the grocery store copypasta

Matri and Genwun slug it out. Comona: "this match is just- The idealism of being together forever for the rest of your life vs.-" Ryan: "being a genwunner." Comona: "I was gonna say never branching out and being alone your entire life." Ryan, more insistently: "yeah, being a genwunner."

Comona, after Matri takes first stock hard: "that is the only time genwun is ever gonna get something put up his ass." GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Jay: "read that like he was reading their vows!" Matri (Comona): "i do promise to WRECK your ASS in SMASH, in Sickness and in Health," Ryan: "matrimony knight can see the FUTURE hes going 'This Will End In Divorce' and then Finishing It!" Jay: "that was not the matchup of two people who have never met, i think these two have Fought Before, these two have a History." They share no words before starting another fight, and genwun looks pissed.

Matri is said to be steel/fairy type, neither of which being things Genwun understands. Also its noted gender wasnt introduced until gen 2 outside the nidorans, ergo why genwun does not participate. Beloved cringe ass loser nonbiney submission of mine. Genwun gets 2-0'd. 

Sephiroth vs. Zagreeus. Sephiroth gets his makeup from sephora. Jay: "I would love nothing more than for Sephiroth to have stowed away in my trunk, forced himself into the competition and then just got stomped." It took way too long for like the third hit to land, they dance around eachother a lot. They discuss some confusion over the exact functionality of Sephiroth's wing mechanic. Jay: "I mean, its not like this is a game or anything we could just ask sephiroth-" Zagreeus reflects a flare killing sephiroth instantly before he can finish the bit. Despite some striking plays from zag he still firmly loses match one.

Zagreeus is adept in minecraft, sephiroth is a nineties kid ill equipped for modern gaming, despite Sephiroths best efforts zag takes first stock and gets so close to taking the second before seph finishes the match with a commanding comeback. sephiroth does Not congratulate him for doing his best but zag just gives a thumbs up to the rest of the fighters and heads to the cafe to relax. Zag got such a tough hand, dealt twist and sephiroth back to back, lil man fought SO hard

Genwun vs. Machiavelli. Genwun struggles to respect and consider their opponents playstyles for adaptation. Machiavelli doesn't respect his opponents not out of malice but because hes a baby that doesn't comprehend how or why he should.

First match takes place on the Unova Pokemon League. Genwun, upon seeing Shaymin: "the fucks that green thing." Machi LOVES to fake people out with the rock. Genwun doesnt get threestocked but gets sauced on so hard that an Event occurs anyway. They meet up with Matri to discuss something. Genwun has been given pokemon platinum on Nintendo DS. Time dilation occurs, (jay says it might be a side effect of him visiting from his dimension? More space and time intertwined-ness,) genwun speedruns the entirety of pokemon platinum in a near instant, watching the lucario movie while making dinner in the middle of this temporary time bubble and transforms into Genfour. Comona suggests they saw shaymin in the background and were like 'i… dont know that one but… i kinda like it…' and decided finally to give more things a try.

One-winged angel plays. Machi: "why do i hear boss music." Genfour's newfound excitement for new things powers them to take like. the only match they ever have <3 as jay says, genfour might make a friend, something genwun never had, and that friend might just be machiavelli!

Megalovania duck hunt. Genfour looks at retro games and says No. Im Clean Now. Nostalgia was their drug of choice and they Want No Part Of It anymore they want to be a Well Rounded Being Now. 

Comona: "im gonna be real with you i need genfour to win this one, I need genfour to see, purely, the joy in living for the future with other people." Jay: "living your life as it is right in front of you, not restricting yourself in the past." Fun thematic foreshadowing for the rest of the season, methinks, given the coming arc villain, introduced in the next episode and Machi's creator, Dr. O's whole 'gifted kid gone rotten' situation, for what is a gifted kid gone rotten but someone who grew up thinking they were special and better than other people and people used to KNOW that and could not accept the reality when they grew up that they are, in fact, just like any other person. (Reinforced by her ironic fate banished into the distant past and further reinforced by the nccts, where she was explicitly still hung up on high school bullshit.) Cue larry coming in swinging with the revelation to break her- that Some Broke Stupid Petty Criminal Cunt from the Grocery Store with enough Patience Determination Resilience and Willingness to Change and Adapt can do exactly what she does and Better when just given the opportunity because she isn't special <3

Genfour loses, but Machi follows them to the cafe to hang out a while. friends!! Its suggested in his submission info in gaiden 2, iirc, that genfour's original mewtwo form served as 'inspiration' for chessmaster's creation, and unlike Plus he wasn't treated as Brand New, so it feels safe to assume Mach 2 was made sometime between this episode and then- and the first time Dr. Order decided to show herself in the tournament instead of sending experiments or assistants and observing is the next episode. not all her creations go straight to tournament when created- Crimsonaut being Crimson's 'respawn point' and next host following being exorcised from the captain, Order's initial study of Crimson samples from the Grunk's corpse mentioned in the nccts, his created purpose and cover story for hosting crimson, and his being paired with the dimensional bus which has referenced usage in season one suggests both that he at least slightly predates cpuk11 and that direct combat was never what he was made for so there was no reason for him to be involved in it until dr. O needed to stock a full tourney, but Mach 2 was a second iteration of her attempts to make the Ultimate Fighter. Did Mach 2 maybe… do poorly enough in some kind of preliminary testing she didn't even bother sending him to tournament and took that slot herself instead? and was that why she was so particularly harsh to him, despite his not rebelling like Google? Much to think about 

Twist vs. Chilis! The queen of the 5$ margarita and the purple pajama'd mage of the red kraken. They go stock for stock but Chili's is unbreakable. Chat: "after this can they go on a date to the cafe"

Comona: "you gotta remember to watch your back going into an applebees after all this." Jay: "yeah cuz chili's is gonna be right behind you tapping on your shoulder like-" Chili's: "are you sure about that?"

Comona follows this bit with a firm disclaimer not to allow cpu kerfuffle characters to create real-life brand loyalties to things that don't care about you and that the commentators dont really care about either. And that by the way for chili's pricepoint just going to a good local place instead is just practicing self-care, honestly. responsible commentating. 

Again twist and chilis go stock for stock, Chili's losing the second round. Mostly match commentary, but theyre some very entertainingly intense matches. Ryan talks a bit about the Taco Mac clause. Theres some fesh pince jokes in there. Round 3 is similar, with more jokes about the Chili's menu. Serving loaded potato skins. Twist is tipping the waiter with a boot to the head. Twist takes it.

Ryan: "people in chat are shipping twist and chili's which- I will say, the character twist is based on is, i think, ace, but this also is a separate continuity- ive got several continuities- so i'm leaving the shipping up to you guys." Comona: "yeah, any headcanons, any fanons- and, I mean, ace doesn't necessarily mean theres no room for something romantic-" ryan: "yeah!"

P.Rool vs. Matrimony Knight. Ryan: "I hate to say this but I do think p.rool is taking this." Comona and Jay agree with an audible grimace. Matri does not do well first round. Comona and Jay make fun of ryan sneezing like someone who should be in a hospital. P. Rool is, as usual, disgustingly powerful in combat. 

Matri begins to pull out a lead second round. Jay: "P. Rool is never on his final form. Watch him pull out D. Rool." Ryan: "what is that, destroyed rool-?" Comona: "what about ja rool."

Matri manages to take it to round 3, to ryan, comona and jay's joy. But they temper their excitement with 'listen its p. rool. Dont get your hopes up. Dont do it.' They're right to do this matri very nearly gets threestocked and the last stock is matri getting dunked like a fucking basketball.

Losers bracket, Chilis vs. Machi. Comona thinks chili's is gonna win the tournament. Jay thinks Machi is going to be a comeback god, losing at first and then taking it back. First match on mario maker. A stage only left legal because ryan LOVES it because it fucks with the ai. Machi doesnt do well with the random stage at first, but brings it back HARD, nearly a reverse threestock, ending with Machi stealing Chili's sword and fucking Getting Her in a clutch move.

Match two funny zelda tower. Machiavelli in his 'anime arc' after copying chili's. Ryan: "he's just grown hair!" Comona: "He's a growing boy!" Stocks stay pretty even throughout, chili's footstooling to take the final kill. Taking it to round 3!

One winged angel, machi and chilis stock for stock again. Machi's on last stock and the commentators are talking about kid icarus uprising nearly the entire match. Chili's walks off, having learned some things herself and is approached by… some shady individuals apparently involved in creating him. Iggy says to pay them no mind. Don't worry about it. Comona: "...is this like the equivalent of like, if Boston Dynamics entered a robot into a smash tournament?" Jay: "this is like if Boston Dynamics entered a robot into a real actual martial arts tournament."

Swordfight! Sephiroth vs matri. Comona: "the two ends of the spectrum as to what constitutes a sword." Fuckin. wedding butter knife versus masamune the doug dimmadome ass katana.

Matri, hank hill impression: "frame data? Cancels? I Just wanna Grill for gods sake!" Also Matri, teleporting behind Sephiroth: "nothing personel, kid."

Matri does not win. If sephiroth wins the set he's fighting chilis. The next match is mostly match commentary with some family guy impressions for flavor. Sephiroth is the kind of guy who mimes crushing it out of spite when you blow him a kiss. Matri manages to take round two.

Word from the field! Sephiroth is pissed. He knows this could be his last game. Ryan: "hey, comona? You know sonicfox, right?" Comona: "of course." Ryan: "you know how in that one game when he thought he was out, he took his hat off?" Sephiroth takes his shirt off. The limiters are off. Matri does best with plenty of momentum but its hard to keep momentum with sephiroth. Matri's wedding vows (for at least one of his weddings) was the opening of the song Start Of Something New from highschool musical. Sephiroth ends up taking it in the most embarassing, sad, possible choke from matri. Sephiroth puts his shirt back on.

Twist vs P. Rool. Drac's Castle. Furthest a team cracken members ever gotten at this point. Twist racks up damage fast. Comona: "is this like, a dark arts emporium twist likes to frequent? Shes looking mad at home right now." Ryan: "y'know with all the purple, it would make sense within the lore of the red kraken story." Twist takes first stock and dash dances on prool and Ryan's almost crying tears of joy.

Twist gets prool down to one stock, then prool takes his first and gets her to over 100% in seconds and then takes her second, and you can hear ryans heart breaking as the other commentators start submitting themselves to the inevitability of Prool comebacks. Twist does, however, manage to take the first match!

Jay starts to turn around a little on prool, saying his loyalties lie first and foremost with people from his home dimension. Ryan: "i understand it. I dont respect it but i understand it." Twist successfully 2-0s Prool and Ryan feels the most alive he has all tourney. Jay: "he'll be back." Comona: "well of course he'll be back, hes still lurking in the losers bracket." Ryan: "nothing you can say will wipe the smile off my face right now."

Chili's vs. Sephiroth runback! Ryan thinks we're gonna see a 2-1, that sephiroths gonna put up a little more of a fight but chili's is still gonna take it. This proves a good guess with sephiroth taking first stock. Sephiroth wasn't taking Chili's seriously before, but now this becomes a meeting of the minds. Chilis still takes match one. Chili's isn't taking Sephiroth seriously anymore.

TWOOOOOO BANANAS.

Round 2, monkey watch wuhu island. Sephiroth may or may not like monkey watch. Jay: "hes an edgelord but thats like, his dayjob, we dont know what he's into in his freetime." Chilis struggles on Wuhu island because there's too much space for bartending and too many local businesses to outcompete her, and sephiroth takes round 2.

Megalovania find mii. Sephiroth is hearing boss music. Terrifying stock for stock match, but chilis keeps the lead and finishes the match with a vicious dunk in the gap. Comona: "stamping a close set with 'but really, i was winning the whole time.'"

Losers finals, Prool vs. Chili's. After twist, prool can officially bleed so Comona feels no reservations about backing chili's. Prool got pineappled at barely over 20%, but chili's loses her first stock only 40% into Prools next. The match is fast and chaotic but not particularly lore-heavy. Chilis takes round one. Jay: "the way i see it, matches with prool dont even start til round 2." Ryan: "if prool gets 2-0d by twist and chilis both thatd be the lesbianest thing ever. Considering the headcanons running around." Next match is stock for stock again, but Plum finishes it, sending them to a round 3, which ALSO goes stock for stock. 

Jay, sounding sad: "if prool loses here youre gonna make me put him back in the car, arent you?" Comona and Ryan, firmly: "YES." They jinx it. Chili's loses, and prool wins by the skin of his teeth with a violence. Jay, scared: "HOW DOES HE DO IT. I DONT WANT HIM BACK. HE WASN'T LIKE THIS IN MY WORLD. I DONT WANT THIS FUCKER BACK." Comona: "you did this." Jay: "I DIDNT DO THIS! I DIDNT DO THIS! IT WAS YOUR WORLD THAT DID THIS TO HIM!" Comona: "alright, Huey Emmerich!" I know just enough about metal gear to know how grievous an insult this is.

Grand finals. Twist vs. P.rool. Ryan: "im so afraid. Because i know p.rool. I know what he's gonna try to do here." Foreshadowing. Ryans trying so hard to have hope. But i know craken won't have a winner in grand finals until gaiden 5. Jay suggests, as a compromise, that if P. Rool wins, they can let Jacob take championship and pick the rules instead. Ryan remains firm that P. Rool cannot win, its against the rules. If Jacob wants it he can win it himself fair and square. Note how things have shifted from 'i need an excuse to keep p. rool out of championship because hes too strong and i dont want to use the same one i used for dani again' to 'FUCK p. rool, no quarter no compromise he is an object to hate for fun.' Due to a simple shift in the rules which ryan Iggy put there. Makes you thonk dont it.

P. Rool bracket resets Twist. The dread is seeping into Ryan. Jay and comona try to cheer him up by pointing out twist might do better on this stage. Ryan: "I liked it better when she 2-0d him but thats just me." Ryan, later, watching Twist still losing and sounding like hes wilting: "I'd like to see him dead, but thats just me." Comona: "P. Rool's really taking advantage of these layers to the stage." Ryan, becoming sephiroth and trailing off: "uh huh. My immortal rage…" Comona: "Yeah, im struck pretty silent watching P. Rool fight too. Like hes just… sucking the hope out of me." Jay: "Personally I'm feeling pretty good, i gotta be honest." Comona: "be happy if you want i wont judge-" ryan: "i will." Comona: "-but its not gonna stop me from voicing my opinion." Jay: "is now a bad time to share he offered me a cut of his winnings if he takes this?" Ryan: "not very pog." Jay: "dimensional plane tickets are EXPENSIVE." 

P. Rool takes another match. Comona, bitter: "hes just too GOOD. at the GAME." Twist requests a port switch, forfeiting a stagepick in exchange, which prool accepts. The next match goes stock for stock until twist takes it, to Ryan's vicious glee. Comona and Ryan pop off excitedly about port priority. Jay: "I dont think thats real, ryan, i gotta be honest-" Ryan, turning into the fucking green goblin: "WELL, IF YOURE SO CONFIDENT, THEN LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE KEEP TWIST ON PORT ONE, SHALL WE?" Jay: "okay!" Ryan has fully unhinged. 

P. Rool wins. Ryans hit despair. P. Rool calls Jay. Ryan: "kick him off the call. kick him off the call." P. Rool says hes not giving him his money. Ryan: "oh, so youre on OUR side now, now you UNDERSTAND,"

P. Rool championship match. P. Rool vs Valentine. Ryan: "ive said it before ill say it again. This fucker is never going to be champion. Never. as long as I live. So we'll see what we do if he wins this." Comona: "as much as i dont like p. rool he does have spice." Ryan: "yeah he is spicy I just hate him." Jay: "cant believe hes not giving me my money." Ryan: "i can, have you met him?Jay: "its just, i had faith- its not like you guys knew him first!" Ryan: "true."

Jay: "we might need to start a go fundme to send me back to my own timeline." Comona: "the hell does a big fat asshole crocodile need with money anyway?" Jay: "good question." Ryan: "fishing?" Comona: "i was gonna say influencing government but that works." Anyway rip valentine time for another p. rool beatdown. Someone in chat special requests a match with sephiroth. Jay: "lets see who wins- the main villain or sephiroth." Prool decimates him. Ryan decides to take his rage out and beat the hell out of plum himself via Iggy. Ryan: "this isnt for the audience. this is for me." Plum still takes first stock against a human player. It still goes to last stocks. Iggy does win tho.

Twist vs. Valentine bc fuck P. rool. Ryan: "got a lot of haters in the chat mad that I wont acknowledge P. Rools win. But you forget, the 3rd rule of cpu kerfuffle: Fuck P. Rool. Dont blame me, I dont make the rules- well i do but-" Comona: "yeah, Iggy does." Ryan: "right! Take it up with Iggy. Or dont, cuz he'll kill you-" Jay: "i dont know how Jacob, who's just such a good kid, ended up on a team with p. rool." Ryan: "im sure theres some lore reason."

Valentine keeps a commanding hold on his championship, although twist put up a damn good fight. The commentators say, once again, that P. Rool will be returning for the next tournament. Comona: "we are an equal opportunity tournament, that doesn't turn away proven challengers." 

Cpuk14 time! Representing Team Calibur, the team not for becoming the best, but for knowing you already are the best- Doctor order. Right out the gate. 'Ever wonder where all these lab experiments gone wrong and super fighting robots come from? Doctor Order knows, not that she'd tell you. mad scientist/personal trainer who seeks to create the ultimate fighter. Joined team calibur over, say, team cones, as she seeks to reign in chaos, a lofty goal in the face of what cpu kerfuffle is. What's driven her out of the lab and into the spotlight remains to be seen.'

Neither Comona or Jay have seen her in action, not even in jays dimension, although Jay says hes aware of an alternate universe version of her named pablo that's just a totally normal guy. Jay, sounding uncomfortable: "Dont ask me how I know theyre connected." Ryan: "is it the vibes?" Jay: "its the vibes."

Bing! Bing's original submission information says hes a personification of the web service bing and decided to take up fighting because he was tired of being overshadowed by the popularity of Google. Interesting given that Google the person did not yet exist, but future tournaments do in fact insist he's got his complex about that Google. 'also, due to being a search engine, hes very knowledgeable.' LOL. LMAO EVEN. Ryan has high hopes for his results in the tournament. He places 5th.

Returning from CPUK1 for the first time, Dark Jimbo! A hypebeast turned emo. Hes not quite as edgy anymore (thank his therapist) but hes gotten attached to the aesthetic and music and such. Apparently discovered an emerald mine beneath the house and the money from that is whats funding his access to the expense of recurring hair dye and band merch nowadays. Comona expresses that in what hes seen of Jimbo, despite the aggressive, dark exterior, as a fighter he is sort of timid, which might cause him some trouble. But hes been training with his dad, and you cant count him out.

Team Cones! Larry the Florida Man <3. Ryan explains Larry's previous appearances under separate show names, and describes Larry's powers as something that 'awoke' in him. Of course, this is before the Dr. O connection was made, but its fun wording nonetheless. Jay: "as you know, im a very cut and dry commentator." Ryan: "uh huh." Jay: "No jokes. So of course Larry is right up my alley as the most consistent fighter in the tournament." Jay clarifies Larry ironically is pretty consistent in a way, jokes aside, he can perform fairly well in all his shapes. He openly wonders if Larry's ability to perform as well as he does with all his forms is a trained skill, or if it's all instinct. Ryan suggests they'll get Jenny to look into getting an interview about it.

Team Cross. Engineer TF2. They solve practical problems. The commentators proceed to start referencing TF2. I dont know anything about tf2. Jay says he and engie trained under the same fighting master- Superb Mario. Unclear if this is the same character as Mario From Super Mario.

Team Charm, team of all thats good and kind and gay, representative Therapuppy! Chat member: "Thats A Dog!" The blurb for her says, paraphrasing, 'with the introduction of Sephiroth to smash, therapuppy went ahead and signed up for cpu kerfuffle, because god damn Cloud and Samus really are in The Same Game as Sephiroth and Ridley, huh? Damn, kinda fucked up.' funny. funny that sephiroth is directly one of the reasons theras here. Thera's just here to check in on everybody's mental wellbeing and have a good time.

Team Chonk. P. Rool. Jay: "man, fuck this guy. me and p. rool, we're from the same neck of the woods, we're from the next dimension over, and i couldn't make it to a kerfuffle one time so he took my ticket, and he came over here and he started throwing hands and now we can't get him to Leave." Hes jay's ride home so hes been stranded here for 2 weeks and Ryan's been pulling strings to keep him out of the champion's suite and hes heard that P. Rool's getting Very Mad about that. Ryan: "but- fuck it. Its my tournament- its iggy's tournament. Iggy made me do it."

Team Cracken! Whip. Yeehaw. She's a cowgirl bayyyybe. Whip's sea creature accessory is an Electric Eel Whip. Neigh Neigh the horse has never appeared but they live in our hearts. Whip is canonically 'a cringe ass neigh neigh baby.' Vital lore information.

Exhibition match: Squid Jenny vs Chili's! Jenny and Jimbo have the same problem of being good at wracking up damage but struggling to close kills. Jenny is more of a recon specialist than a frontline fighter. Jenny supports all other contestants and is well known and well loved as an upstanding young member of the kerfuffle community. They shake hands and the commentators give their predictions for the tournament, by which i mean, guesses about who has the best chance of making p. rool bleed. Comona and Jay want to see Engie pull it off, Ryan thinks Bing can do it.

Round one, Jimbo vs Engie. Comona: "now, if this were two human players, Id say, now lets buckle in for a 24 minute set," absolutely zero faith in jimbo from jay and comona. The phrase 'not to play crimson's advocate' is used,

Jimbos first match against Engie is so embarrassing that engie throws the poor kid a southern hospitality pity stock next round. A slip of tongue results in the suggestion that engie tf2 is nonbinary. Jay: "i really dont know 'im that well, could be!" Engie: "y'dont need a gender t'solve PRACTICAL problems."

Jimbo manages to do better that next round, on the starfox stage that isnt the plane that i forget the name of, because engie couldn't pick up momentum after that thrown away stock and Jimbo took it and ran with it. Comona: "Jimbo was looking real comfortable up there in the vacuum of space, where I assume he was born…?" Ryan: "hes dadondorf's son, and who knows where dadondorf came from." Everything about dadondorf's background except his immediate familial relationships is an absolute mystery and I think thats delightful. it creates so many questions that will not be answered. He adopted a (Apparently Potentially Alien in Origin.) orphan hedgehog as a son after his birth parents' passing. He married a meat dragon. Jimbo's granddad is a fucking BOAT

Round 3 commences on Mementos. Jimbo's a gamer, but as a persona fan hes never actually played a persona game before, so he might be at a disadvantage. Jimbo has a bit of a panic attack during the set after losing first stock and loses his second with an SD. Jimbo manages to avoid a 3-stock and gets close to taking it to last stock, but no dice. To losers bracket with the poor emo kid.

Larry vs. Whip. Pre-match predictions for larry matches are pointless. donations from real life chat members serve the in-universe/in-character purpose of helping to pay for the high upkeep costs of the stadium and facilities with all these explosive, destructive matches going on here, which is kinda funny. Never seen a tournament arc where they mention the tournaments gotta crowdfund a budget for repairing the stage when someone hits someone else into the floor so hard they leave an anime crater because of how often it happens

Larry pulls out bubblegum banjo on wuhu island. Larry's in whips head, hes in the commentators heads, hes in the AUDIENCE'S heads. nobody knows wtf is goin on but its entertaining and he's winning. Whip is having fun and playing on the ledges. It is not doing her any good. Comona: "yknow, if Larry just had a main he might be one of the best players in kerfuffle history." Ryan: "bold of you to assume his adhd will allow him to focus on having a main." Comona: "thats what im Saying, like, if he Could, but that's just not how life is balanced." Jay: "the way i see it, Larry is so good BECAUSE he doesnt have a main. Hes got that GENERAL knowledge." Comona: "got those fundies down." Ryan: "mhm, a new character could come out today and he could probably beat you with 'em." Larry <3

They discuss how it must be rough for Whip as a newbie to get matched against Larry round one, the unpredictability probably rattling her a bit. Ryan: "I mean, it all depends on what Larry ends up rolling, if Larry rolls something she can deal with then Whip could do well, y'know?" Jay: "a good point." Comona: "mhm. An interesting thing, to not be in control of your own fate." Ryan: "That's why Larry thrives."

Larry rolls Peach, they suggest Whip's experience with her team leader Hoedown might help her some as far as familiarity with the fighting style goes. Larry gets a stitch very early and doesn't even bother to use it just to fuck with Whip. Just to flex. Despite Whip's strong damage lead, Larry takes first stock. Things go down to even on last stock, and whip manages to take one game. They make a game of trying to guess what character larry will be and they're all wrong he's blue dark pit and he decimates whip on warioware

Bing vs. P. Rool. Cue the booing. Bing you're not winning this one. Comona says Bing has been overshadowed by the Green Roy, Google, (before he's even been born,) and is out here to show his stuff as a perfectly respectable player in his own right. Bing has an inferiority complex over a guy that straight up doesn't exist yet. like a kid sibling getting jealous of the new baby getting all the attention before it's even born. Jay: "I have my… feelings, about P. Rool, obviously, but objectively, with my experiences with real life combat because this is all happening in real life, Bing has a sword, but P. Rool has projectiles he has no way to counter. It's coming down to P. Rool on this one." P. Rool has a strong damage lead and Bing Chromicides him about it. Then P. Rool stops him from recovering the next time theyre offstage for an instant. And then destroys his last stock with all the swift ease of swatting a fly. Ryan, terrified: "I THINK P. ROOL'S MAD, GUYS. I THINK HE'S OUT FOR BLOOD?" Jay, similarly shaken: "ive never seen him do that before." Comona: "this has gotten very personal."  Ryan: "im worried for MY safety! Round 2 I guess!"

Bing takes it to Dracula's castle because he saw P. Rool lose to twist here. P. Rool takes first stock so quickly but Bing isnt going down without a fight and manages to take the next game in another very fast match. Bing takes P. Rool's first stock (and his own) in Yet Another Chromicide, truly his signature strategy when fighting a tough opponent is and has always been Youre Coming Down With Me, Fucker, because he struggles to be confident in his ability to win without also completely wrecking his own shit in the process. P. Rool takes game 3 and sends Bing to losers. Bing says he'll see P. Rool again next time, Jay mistakes it for sportsmanship before Ryan clarifies that no he's shittalking like hes gonna decimate that lizard the next time they fight. Truly Bing is this interesting blend of stupid, deeply insecure, and yet profoundly overconfident, all of which compound into a man who is straight up going to get himself killed in the stupidest most unnecessary possible way just trying to prove something noone was honestly asking him to someday

Dr. Order. vs Therapuppy <3 a scientist who's been creating artificial life in pursuit of creating the ultimate fighter aaaaaaand. A therapist. 'That she might probably need.' lol. First round is on midgar, Comona: "which is probably where Dr. Order resides. Big City where people won't uh. Question your experiments." As Therapuppy wracks up almost 90 damage without order landing a single hit, the Commentators guess that Dr. Order is having a hard time mentally psyching herself up to hit a puppy. Jay: "i feel very strongly that Dr. Order is evil, but not cruel." Oh how time will mark you as naive. Therapuppy steals Order's ball with her fishing rod twice and yeets her for the final stock. 

Before round 2, Jay describes Dr. O as someone who has a knowledge of psychology, but like None of the people skills necessary to apply it usefully, unlike Therapuppy whose training in not only that but as a therapist and counselor give her a very particular dominance in the realm of mind games that leaves her with an inherent advantage in this matchup because Dr. Order thinks she knows more than she actually does. Comona references Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake in reference to thera. 'I want a therapist with a funny dogy and long, looooong fishing rod.'

the Doctor is nooooot the best as a fighter in terms of skill, but she is described by Comona as a hard hitter and her experience as a personal trainer (and coach, of her creations,) is touted as evidence she knows what it takes to create success and build strength, which. As we see later proves mostly only technically true to any extent of machi and quad, really. Despite this, order does manage to eek out a game two win against thera utilizing deep breathing. Jay: "i think Deep Breathing is some kind of experimental proprietary invention of Dr. Orders because lemme tell ya. I breathe and that doesn't happen." Ryan: "yeah but is your breathing deep." Jay: "gimme a sec lemme try that." Jay leaves. Comona and ryan giggle to themselves about him punching a hole in the wall as gamers are wont to do. Jay, returning: "MILLIONS ARE DEAD." 

Round three goes stock for stock, therapuppy managing some excellent mind games and strategy. Therapuppy's happy to have (hopefully) helped the doctor and with the doctor's 'regular stoic vibe' shes like. "Interesting. I'll have to remember this." And goes to losers. Every cpuk villain starts off as vaguely stoic or otherwise emotionally restrained in some fashion and then just Unhinge at some point

Dark Jimbo vs. Whip Losers round one. Comona accurately predicts its going to be a looooong one, especially so with CPUs. this sets' record for The Longest Match in CPUK History's never been dethroned, and thats probably because it nearly singlehandedly drove the decision to add a timer. Especially funny remembering his dad hamhel fought the shortest, the legendary match from 20 with val that could fit, in its entirety, in one twitch clip. Jay: "dark jimbo has like… powers of darkness, right? Not like evil darkness powers, but like-" Ryan: "I mean, i thought it was just aesthetic, but he could, I mean we've seen stranger." This set runs so long it makes jimbo reconsider his approach to both combat and life itself and in his second match starts putting effort into closing out kills much more. Whip continues to play the patient waiting game and it doesn't pay off. First 2-0 of the night.

Bing vs. Dr. Order. Hell on earth. A point is made of how dr. Order's patient methodical combat mindset just doesnt work for someone who gets up in your face and stays there before you can think like bing does. Round one is on castle siege, which they joke about being microsoft headquarters. Bill Gates lives in a Fucking Castle. Bing keeps the lead for most of the match but Order brings it to last stock with a Fancy set of maneuvers. Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just got away with a sick move. Ryan: "this one isnt open and shut- Bing's an explosive player but eventually that's gonna blow up in his face." Bing takes it.

Ryan: "I think, Dr Order, like whip, thrives with very patient play, but thats not gonna work against bing, who is All About getting up in your face." The commentators agree- Dr. Order needs to adjust her strategy to be more aggressive. She does not do this. Bing also does not change his strats. Comona: "say what you will about Bing- he gets results." Jay: "just maybe not as many as google." lol

After losing, Dr Order pulls out a notebook to start writing something down as she leaves. Ryan: "thats not… something we should be worried about, should we…?" Jay: "this is fine."

Chat asked about them. Gen4's chilling. Is a platinum speedrunner (which is an oxymoron) now

Engie TF2 vs Larrold. Once again no point to predicting the outcome of larry matches, only measuring his opponents' adaptability. Larry rolls luigi and ryan and comona interpret this as Larry making fun of engie for being short. Ryan: "it doesnt feel like Engie is learning, if anything Larry's learning." Comona: "if larry's learning then this whole bracket is over." Ryan: "yeah, larry's a fucking learning computer." Jay: "do we have word from Squid Jenny if Larry can control who he gets?" Ryan: "sometimes. Only sometimes." Larry rolls mega'd man next and does 70 damage before engie can land even one hit, and survives on first stock to 200%. Engie alllllllllmost brings it back but larry still fucking gets him.

Comona: "Larry's really shining now- its good to see this kind of glowup from larry. hes always had some potential but honestly- its kind of- touching, Larry has embraced the chaos inside of himself and isnt hiding anymore, hes not afraid of it anymore and hes just here like 'This is who i am.'" shrimp emotions about this one

P. Rool vs. Therapuppy. Jay just got a phone call. Ryan and comona discuss. From the standpoint of the competition, comonas still pretty sure this is p. rools game, but that he's going to learn more from it than any other match he's ever fought in. Ryan thinks thera might take a game at least. Thera takes first stock despite p. rool's damage lead, and prool takes it to even, but thera makes shockingly short work of p. rool. Comona: "who knew that what p. rool really needed was Fucking Therapy?"

Jay gets a call from a friend in his dimension, and. His P. Rool is still there. He got a snapchat from him hes at quizno's with jacob. Thera starts the second match before the commentators can process this. Who the fuck is this guy because hes Not P. Rool. Jay: "think about it- how many times have i said he wasn't like this in my world?" Comona: "an IMPOSTER? AMONG US?"

P. Rool just has no counter strat for the fishing rod. Therapuppy 2-0s P. Rool, to the astonishment of the commentators. Jay explains after talking more with his P. Rool, that hes never come to this dimension even once for a kerfuffle. It's been this mystery guy the WHOLE time, in a case of identity theft. Chat ponders potential crimson involvement but ryan shoots this down as unlikely and sends Squid Jenny to ask the guy some questions. P. Rool grabs her, changing color with white-hot-rage and promptly starting a battle. This is E. Rool. Enraged K. Rool. 

Ryan: "the therapy didnt Work, hes just Mad as Fuck now!" Comona: "he's resentful about how he's been treated- Which- which i guess is fair, but don't resort to violence against the TO! You're gonna get banned!" Ryan: "way he sees it, we clearly don't give a shit about the rules, why should he?" Comona: "which i mean… he… but we run the event, right…?" Ryan: "i mean yeah, we run the event, but that's just what he's saying." Jay: "realistically I see where he's coming from but identity theft and…" Comona: "but violence is never the answer. Harming your fellow man is…" Ryan: "your fellow squid, even." Comona: "your fellow squid or kid even." They are saying this about bloodsport. They are saying violence is never the answer about bloodsport. Comona expresses hope that this will help E. Rool get the frustration out of his system so he can calm down. Small voice. Small baby bird. and commends jenny for sticking out the fight in the meantime. They describe E. Rool's eyes as glazed over in a blind rage, like he's just absolutely gone, beyond reason. Home MD retrieves Jenny, she's in good condition, just in need of some medical attention. Ryan makes a joke about donating to help pay for jenny's medical bills and then has to clarify for chat that yes you do in fact get medical insurance working for iggy dont worry

E. Rool vs. Jimbo. They do not have high hopes. Jimbo does better than expected with a big target on the small bright stage of prism tower, he keeps it sorta even. E. Rool is playing cruel and cheap, fueled by the rage of both being cheated time and time again, and of being exposed as a fraud. He's so angry that he's just letting himself get hit. In the second round they get a darker stage, and Jimbo's doing better, getting hits in. Comona: "hes like batman, he thrives in the darkness." Ryan: "he is just like batman, in fact i think the fact that you just said that gave him power." He loves batman. One of his idols, jay says. So excited about the comparison. Imagining jimbo in a little batman costume for halloween. adorable. Anyway he footstooled E. Rool about it. Truly jimbo's performance in combat is directly tied to his current self-esteem. Jimbo brings it to last stock but doesn't win. The commentators get scared hes gonna SD again but Jimbo says 'nah those days are behind me now that im BATMAN' and then immediately gets launched into the blast zone. E. Rool: "im da joker, baby."

Bing vs. Engie tf2. Theyre pretty confident in Bing. Jay: "in comparison to bing, engie over heres looking like yahoo." Chat: "bing gonna make engie look like jeeves." Bing gets runover by a boat twice. Bing hates water. Greatest weakness. future lore making this Bing also getting killed instantly by space hornets. The commentators call game one a very overconfident homie game. Engie keeps schmoving around him but Bing manages to take it to last stock, but Engie ultimately 2-0s. Bing tells engie to take care of the big man for him.

Winners Finals. Larry vs Therapuppy. The winners finals noone expected but everyone wanted. The populist's choice. Comona thinks this will be a tough one for therapuppy, because larry is already Very comfortable with who he is, even if, for the good of Society that might be best changed. Hes comfy with the chaos. Therapuppy's goal is making people happy and better and Larry's already got himself figured out. Jay thinks this is still in therapuppy's corner because nobody knows what to do with the fishing rod and he doesnt think larry's an exception. Larry lies to a therapist about being illiterate on international television, potentially to avoid confronting his trauma on the same internationally televised scale. <3 florida schools dont teach you to read but they do teach you to handle gators. Therapuppy presses, trying to get to the root of why not being able to read makes him so insecure, and Larry's probably just doing everything in his power not to laugh. Round 1 goes to thera.

Larry rolls lonk from pennsylvania for round 2 on skyloft, or rather, either lenk from north carolina or lunk from ohio. Take your pick the commentators can't decide, but one way or another he's 'betraying even his origins,' even as the commentators also decide skyloft overlooks florida. Larry gets real silly with this one, takes it to last stock, but Therapuppy 2-0s, sending Larry to losers.

E. Rool vs. Engie tf2. Jay thinks hes too angry right now to fight smart, so engie Might take it. Chat asks if E. Rool is a free agent, and the commentators say they dont know, they dont know much about E. Rool except that hes mad as hell, strong as hell and a Liar. Jay speculates that Team Chonk might consider kicking him out with these new developments. Engie struggles to close a kill without the help of the stage, and no hat is hard enough to stop E. Rool from crushing his skull. The second round is only more painful. Engie manages one funny stock before E. Rool kills him dead.

Losers finals. Larry vs. E. Rool. Utmost excitement from the commentators. Larry pulls out sans hoodie ice climbers to megalovania. They go stock for stock down to the wire and Larry takes it and its legendary i dont need to give the play by play its all match commentary because its So Much that theres just nothing else to talk about. E. Rool: "how did i lose???" Larry, turning back to original form: "heh. maybe its the way you're dressed."

Round 2. Larry rolls Venus skin palu (before venus even exists.) This does not go as well as the ice climbers as far as weird picks goes, E. Rool leads the whole round. Ryan gets mad at Larry doing less well this round and has to remind himself not to expect anything of him and just enjoy the ride. He's not great at Palu, so E. Rool takes it, but Larry started taking it back more toward the end than expected. Lategame matches before voice acting became a bigger part of the format tend to have a lot less lore in them because the commentators are too tense about the actual matches themselves.

Round 3, Larry rolls kirby, its very even, E. Rool bled in his fight with Machi. Its apparent, though, that Larry's more interested in this being a good show than winning, and brings it to last stock even damage, but Larry finally gets yeeted. Commentators express certainty that in terms of raw skill, these two are equals, and Larry lost because the unpredictable factors of his condition simply didnt quite roll in his favor today.

E. Rool vs. Therapuppy. True finals. Therapuppy takes first stock after only moments of doubt from ryan, maintains a lead on at least damage the rest of the first match. Fishing rod inescapable. E. Rool's getting Scared of it, but E. Rool manages to take first round only because he survives to 200% and thera is much more launchable than him. Thera doesnt mind losing- she takes it in stride and goes into their second round with a smile. Round 2, thera makes it to 200% before losing first stock, E. Rool leads this match, until thera spikes him for his second stock. They end up even almost blow for blow on last stock until thera finally smashes him into the blast zone to take it. Round 3, norfair florida. Thera's just having a good time. E. Rool's so mad hes not thinking and its making it difficult for him to learn and adapt to Thera's plays, so thera sticks with the tried and true tactics and things keep fairly even, up until the end. E. Rool bracket resets.

Everyone takes a nice break, things have been way, way too tense in a scary sort of way, but E. Rool seems to calm down, and he and Therapuppy are seen having a talk, (Apparently one reason in-universe there were less visible voiceacted scenes at this point was just not having the sound equipment for it,) and since Jenny's down right now Home fills in for her to check up on things- and E. Rool almost attacks him, but Thera talks him down. The commentators reevaluate- is he really that bad of a guy? Like, he's been playing the heel, but realistically, the only reason he's gotten so angry and unmanageable is because HE'S following the rules and no one else is, and until things hit this boiling point he hadn't really even put up that much of a stink about it, beyond a little complaining. Home MD comes back with a report: his real name. Plum K. Rool. Thats always been his name- there was just a bit of a… mixup, because he shortens it to P. Rool too, and he kinda… ran with it. Played it like a character. A lie he didn't even intend to be telling at first just got too big. 

Thera and Plum run into the reset in good spirits. Plum's doing better taking a step back and just enjoying the ride. Still sucks that he took out his anger on Jenny- and hes not feeling too good about it either- the tournament will surely be followed by apologies, or maybe he'll continue to be a heel about it, but either way the commentators are fine with that- its just good to see the competitors remember that in the end it's just a game, and it's supposed to be fun. A good time. The commentators discuss how dangerous E. Rool clearly was during his blind rage- and how Thera couldve easily gotten seriously hurt if she hadnt been careful. Things go to last stock, even% on round one of the reset, and thera almost takes it but fails to recover. Second round is on mario maker, P. Rool's favorite stage. Cute. Thera takes it, sending it to game 3 of reset on dreamland, final round. The whole sets been electric, down to last stocks of last sets with short leads, P. Rool fearing and respecting Thera's power but ultimately juuuuust clinching a win.

Therapuppy: "Congratulations P. Rool! Im happy for you!" Plum: "b. I. H. i thought. You didnt. You didnt want me to win?" Thera: " course not. You're my friend! Course im happy that you won, why wouldnt i be?" Plum: "yknow what? thanks therapuppy. Thanks." And they have a nice hug.

Ryan claims that if P. Rool actually wins he'll actually let him win this time. Plum K. Rool vs. Captain Valen- hold up. Squid Jenny, who is fine now, getting a report from the field. Val and Plum are talking, and asked Val who his best friend is, and hes got no idea who to say except johannsen. Not sure if he was just caught off guard by the odd question and picked the rat as the first friend that came to mind or if hes genuinely made better friends with the rat in the past month or so than he is with gordo's revenge, visible man or rights sentience but the former feels more likely. Either way Plum wants to make the champion bout a team doubles match to celebrate his victory with the only person who's really rooted for him. Thera says she would've done the same. Val and jojo have pretty good team synergy. It goes down to thera vs. val on last stock and val takes it, remaining champion. Comona: "where valentine goes, johannsen follows." Ryan: "yeah, ever since dantoinette kind of- yknow."

And so dusks the P.rool arc and the dawn of Spoiler alert! doctor order being the Worst rises.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

ok i officially finished s2 (i had to wait for it to air in my language lol. if im rewatching i can rewatch in french bc with context i understand enough to follow along, but if I've never seen an episode before i won't understand bc as i said i dont speak french) i already knew about the shooting and the kiss bc my need for hpi content lead to spoilers BUT I DIDNT KNOW ROMAIN WAS STILL ALIVE AND I NEED TO SCREAM. listen morgane became such a comfort character and i genuinely CANNOT see her hurt like this :((( also her parents are so… peculiar, to say the least. i officially hate romain wtf

BUT ALSO NOW MY HEAD IS PRODUCING POST S2 SCENARIOS AND I WANNA. WANNA WRITE THEM ??? IDK WILL I BE WRITING HPI FANFICS?? im already working on a morgane themed playlist and im having sm fun🥰🥰🥰 so who knows, maybe i will

Oh dear, I knooooooow!!! 😭😭😭 Welcome to the club! Do you need a hug? Do you need to scream? Do you need to cry? I'm here anyway 💕

I must say I vaguely wondered if I wasn't spoiling you the ending in my answer the other day when I said that Romain had abandoned her, but you'd been saying you were on a rewatch, so... Anyway, while I saw it coming on my first watch, I completely feel with and for you about this finale's revelation, Morgane didn't deserve this and it's just hurting her so much 💔💔💔

And I'm so worried that her kiss with Karadec might push them apart in the aftermath while he's the only one she could possibly lean on when processing what happened in Brighton. She needs him so much oh my God 😭😭😭

Her parents just did her so dirty, and Romain is a true piece of shit is all I have to say on that matter lol! Also this is going to break Théa's heart, and nobody gets to hurt my baby Théa she's such a precious bean 😰😰

There is quite a bunch of post-season 2 fanfics on AO3 already, unfortunately they're all in French, although the recent upsurge of non-francophone fans due to the show airing in other countries clearly makes me want to get back to translating my fics to English... Anyway, if you feel like writing HPI fanfics, in whatever language, PLEASE DO!!! 😍😍 I know that some non-francophone fans are desperate for content in other languages ( @nyxgoddessofthedark this is for you 😇), so let's make this fandom international, baby!!!

Oh and please feel free to share your Morgane playlist, @ficuscircus and I have been kinda throwing songs at each other in a very disorganized effort at producing a HPI playlist so we're always greedy for new song suggestions and sharings 🥰🎶

[itoendme]

comparing vinland saga to everything under the sun bc my brain refuses to think about anything else pt i dont even know anymore

Some obvious parallels can be drawn between Vinland Saga and the 2004 anime Black Cat, a show that has similar themes about the futility of violence and revenge. I watched black cat a long time ago, but, when I was thinking about the parallels, I rewatched the first couple of episodes to refresh my memory.

To put it rather bluntly, black cat was trying to be what vinland saga is. When I put aside all the nostalgia I have for it, it kind of falls flat. while i think thorfinn is one of the best and most complex characters in all of anime, train (aside from having a very stupid name) sort of fails as a character because his development doesn’t make sense. let me explain.

thorfinn and train both lose parents at a young age, and are raised in an environment that causes them to become desensitized to violence. however, while thorfinn is forced to leave the battlefield when he is sold into slavery, train chooses to leave his life if violence behind him… except he doesn’t really. train gives up his weapon in an attempt to force the option of killing out of his life, but fails spectacularly as he gets it back only like a day later, and continues to find ways to justify hurting and killing people.

the main difference between thorfinn and train is that, while thorfinn is tormented by his past and the guilt he feels for sacrificing other people’s lives for his own personal goals, train looks towards the future and honestly seems to feel no remorse for all the lives he has taken. everything train does is for his own personal gain, yet it is portrayed by the series as a redemption. Thorfinn’s development is prompted by the events of the story, and it is only after he is off the battlefield that he is able to look at it from a new perspective. In train’s case, he chooses to leave chronos of his own accord, after saya prompts him to think about how he wants to move forward with his life. However, train’s desire to change his lifestyle at this point in the story is curious, as he continues to live as a sweeper with no qualms, and he even goes on to kill multiple people after this ‘revelation’ that killing people isn’t good. Like they try to make out that he’s had character growth when he hasn’t really grown at all. Being able to choose who he thinks it’s okay to kill instead of killing whoever he’s told doesn’t really make him a better person. Honestly it makes me sad because he had potential to be a good character. He had the potential to be thorfinn, but he just fell so, so flat.

i dont want to talk too much about world building because obviously vinland saga is set in the real world and black cat is set in a fictional one, but the politics in the black cat universe just make zero sense. chronos makes no sense as an organization. how do they have so much money when all they really do is kill people without even collecting a bounty? they own the economy but somehow no one knows anything about it? they run the world and are above the government but there’s only one location? no international branches or anything? we need better world building PLEASE

sorry had to rant there. moving on, i want to talk about more character parallels because askeladd and creed serve a similar purpose in their respective stories. They both kill someone close to the main character, leading the main characters to seek revenge. However, there is one glaring difference: the fact that thorfinn is clearly more obsessed with askeladd than askeladd is with him. while askeladd sees thorfinn as sort of wasted potential compared to thors and just uses him as a tool to do his dirty work because he can, creed is /obsessed/ with train. its no question that creed is more obsessed with train than train is with him, which is a little weird, because creed literally killed train’s kind-of-girlfriend, and train sort of seems to forget about it for long periods of time and only seems to care when he’s reminded of the evdntd or when creed is right in front of him, whereas the only reason creed has to be obsessed with train is that he’s good at killing people. (sorry that was a crazy run-on sentence but this is my self-indulgent tumblr blog, not a literary journal.) thorfinn and askeladd’s relationship makes sense because the characters emotions align with their actions. thorfinn is angry because askeladd took the thing he loved most in the world, his father, away from him, and he dedicates his life to killing askeladd because he isn’t ready to let go of thors. askeladd shows admiration for thors, and when he sees thorfinn walk willingly into the environment thors died to keep him away from, he is disappointed with thorfinn, and decides to use thorfinns hatred for him to his own advantage, because he knows thorfinn wont give up. this relationship between them develops gradually in the eleven years they spend together until it gets to the point where thorfinn admits that he no longer hates askeladd, and askeladd, on his deathbed, actively encourages thorfinn to do something more productive with his life. In contrast, the relationship between train and creed doesn’t delelop at all, and, as i previously mentioned, they way they feel about each other doesn’t particularly align with the actual events of the story. the power dynamics are also insanely different. askeladd undoubtedly holds power over thorfinn, using thorfinn’s own motivation against him. askeladd is so good at manipulating thorfinn that, no matter how strong thorfinn got, he was never able to defeat askeladd in a fight. contrarily, in black cat, train holds power over creed. creed basically spends the entire series simping for train, and train continually refuses to give him the time of day, despite the fact that (and i need to reiterate this) CREED KILLED HIS GIRLFRIEND. train should not be the one with power in this relationship. if he truly hated creed, creed would be able to use that against him, giving him the upper hand. Thorfinn’s character development is gradual and clearly shown, whereas train’s priorities sort of just change on a whim. He doesn’t really develop he just suddenly changes with no real indication, or there’s an implication of ‘the character development happened during a time skip’ which vinland saga also does, but, in vinland saga, the motivation for change is clear and believable. train is an enigma, and not in a good way. He doesn’t make sense. He had the potential to be interesting but then his entire character went to shit because the writers failed to develop him properly. maybe it would have been better if it weere a longer show and there was more time to explain the development. i also know that the manga is slightly different, but i haven’t read it, so maybe everything makes more sense in that, but the anime feels like a half-assed attempt at a complex show.

honestly a lot of the time i shy away from media with ‘good messages’ because it can often feel preachy. and in truth, vinland saga can get a bit preachy sometimes, especially in the vinland colonization arc. what i like so much about vinland saga is not the messages it conveys, but how it conveys them. i think vinland saga is good because there’s a compelling storyline with complex and well-developed characters which it uses to convey its themes. in black cat, the characters and the word are severely underdeveloped, which makes the story fail to convey anything. as a disclaimer, i didnt intend to hate on black cat so much when i started thinking about this, i just got really heated. this was supposed to be an analysis of why vinland saga works so well, but I guess im just a hater at heart.

in any case, just another unhinged rant for the books.

[roxyzwritez]

REWATCHING SU:F

this will be a chain of self reblogs as i go through each episode of the.. unfortunate part of steven universe.

------EP 1------

the way peridot goes

steven universe futureee~

gives me serotonin.

2. the connie lofigirl reference made me go OH MY GOD ITS YHE REFRENCE and im here for it

3.s l u u u u u u h r p "i think YOU, should stop trying to fix everybody." hits hard

4. "AND IF I DIDN'T CARE, YOU'D STILL BE A MONSTER TOO." goes SO hard like you fucking GO king

5.okay every line from frustrated steven in that scene gives me adrenaline rushes like now i wanna beat someone up and just gurugjfigig YEAH

6."you are NOT my diamond" funny you say that, jasper. funny you say that, jasper. fragments you say that, jasper. funny you

7.the fight scene fucks so hard

-----EP 2-----

8. steven stop narrating or else fhfgbfbbt this isnt a documentary you god damn goofball i cant be that mad (not yet you gotta talk trash about rose for me to throw hands)

9. tv froze when biggs jasper flung the ferris wheel and that's the highlight of my day

10."comfortable can be good, too." based amy for the win

11. the start of stevens downward spiral: hey lets push everyone out of their comfort zone OH JEEPERS WHY IS EVERYTHING FALLING APART

11.5: DELIVERY. DELIVERY. D E L I V E R Y.

12.you should be sorry steven beach city is now on fire like california.

13. smoky quartz representation 💗💗💗

14. pink smoky quartz could beat every single villain and hero instantly. thanos? avengers? god himself? addicted

15. choose their own future, yk? choose their own future, yk? CHOOSE THEIR OWN FUTURE, YK? CH-

------EP 3------

16. oh god rose buds. ep hasnt even started and the trauma is flooding back AWAAAAYGH my poor boy steven-

17. "after everything that's happened..." I WILL FIGHT YOU AND WIN YOU WILL RESPECT YOUR GOD DAMN MOTHER YOU MOTHERFUC- *ahem* sorry. idc if future was rushed due to unfortunate uncontrollable circumstances but this still makes me furious how fucking dare y

18. greg why couldn't you just stand up for yourself. bruh got his lack of spine from smashing the diamond im sorry that's the only criticism of pink/rose i can make and not uncontrollably punch myself

19. i wanna hang out with the famethysts. forever. i wanna laze like delinquents!! holly blue get ur ass LAZING. get with the times.

20. "i cannot wait to see the look upon your face when you see their faces" the amount of trolling is a lot more than a little

21. "yes, this is the look i wished to see!" im sorry but you will die for the mistreatment of steven cutiepie forgot the rest of your long name universe he did not deserve this

22. quiet rose gave me false hope and i died. still die when i see that one

23. WHY DON'T YOU COME TO DINNER AND FIND OUT :)))))

24. "yo steve- (bass boosted vine boom)"

25. "i haven't had that many exes show up since- (bass boosted vine boom)"

26. pearl somehow having her composure is a mystery to me. i need lessons on how to not explode in that kind of situation

27. "...but thank yOU, RO- (crowdstrike update)"

28. pearl freaking out about this is making me freak out about this and i don't know what that says about me.

29. mmmMmmmMmMMMN SLUMBER PARTTy:)))))

30. "i am dead rose quartz!" thats a crit right there right to my feels

31. the squal of terror when they turn on the tape is so hilarious but also makes me scream in terror

32. yeah bro lion would get maaad.

33. motherfucking bitch ass fuck hiding the painting in the pink realm i hope you turn into a lizard and feel bad about it OH WAIT YOU DO. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR DISRESPECTING THE LORD AND SAVIOR, ROSE QUARTZ UNIVERSE. sorry just another RRRRRAAAUGH THIS IS WHY IM MAKING THE AU I HATE STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE FUCKING GDOD DAMN CORPORATES RUSHING WRITERS LEADING TO BAD CONTENT AAAAA

34. funny number not putting anything here

35. oh that's why ppl ship volleypearl. i forgot the SORRY TO INTERRUPT BUT "looks like someone has still got it bad..." I DONT WANNA HEAR IT FROM YOU YOU STILL GRIEVE JUST LIKE THE REST OF anyway i forgot that blushy she had at pink pearl. i understand now

36. "im older than you:3" *restrained death stare*

37. welcome pink dia- (sudden explosion)

38. pearl stop talking down to volleyball why are you so mean GGRGRR RAAAAAAAAAA its so grating. be nice to eachother. outburst imminent

39. what.did.you.say.?

40. the pink outburst. the rage. the release. its so SATISFYING. until the pearls almost get rejuvenated of course. also megapearl is 🥰🥰🥰😳😳😳😳💗💗💗💗😚😚😚😚🥰🥰

41. megapearl in that pose just. im going to turn into rose quartz. right now. iaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQ?&;&5525640$@)@)"78;73(2$;);96&$0)&(72)5@3495$?,'gj

42. oksy. fine. maybe volleypwarl is a valid ship (sniffles)

ok im not making this post any longr ill continue later

[ankhisms]

gobus rewatch ep 6 thoughts

ive mentioned many times before that i adore the way the mecha and mecha fights are set up in gobusters, theyre genuinely my favorite mecha set up in any sentai ive watched. i remember in the behind the making of the first ep video the fight choreo director talked about how he wanted each fight to be dynamic and to not be boring, which they honestly achieved really well. ill be honest im one of those toku fans who will zone out during the mecha fight portion of episodes (if the show has a mecha fight) but gobusters was never like that for me. similarly to wizard and blazar i always felt engaged in its fights and they were never boring to me, including the mecha fights. this is in part to the world building and the writing of the show, where the mecha have to undergo a lot of maintenance and we see those mecha workers regularly. the show takes pains to make sure we as the audience are aware that the fight could not be possible with just one person, it takes a whole large team of people working together to be able to fight.

with that in mind i also really love how the trio arent just able to form their combined mecha super easily, we see the three of them going through training simulations and theyve failed over 20 times according to nick. i love the little details in the pilot cockpit, the keypad and controls and codes they have to press in order to perform certain actions, along with them having to take their fuel usage into account. from a character and dynamic perspective, this is good early on because we get the sense that while hiromu has joined the team and hes getting to know youko & ryuuji and we see that theyre generally getting along, hiromu is still not entirely in sync with his teammates. hes frustrated and stubborn, hes gone through these simulations and training sequences with nick presumably hundreds of times before meeting up with the other two at the beginning of the show. he KNOWS hes capable, so whats going on? he did fine when he did it on his own.

i enjoyed ryuuji and hiromus dynamic in this episode. ryuuji, unsuprisingly, very easily slips into a brotherly mentor role to hiromu- but its clearly a different kind of mentorship than how ryuuji would approach guiding youko through something. this episode really highlights just how stubborn hiromu is, he focuses on something and doesnt give up until he solves it and isnt very receptive to being given advice on doing a task differently. and ryuuji, having spent so many years raising another stubborn and strong willed person (youko) is able to percieve this about hiromu and knows that he cant just flat out tell hiromu what hes doing wrong. hes got to be able to work it out himself. but he still is gently nudging hiromu towards the answer while supporting him. we get a sense early on in the episode that hiromu feels a bit tense about ryuuji calling off their training session, as if hes wondering if ryuuji thinks that hiromu just isnt capable enough- but thats not the case at all. ryuuji has probably seen youko get frustrated to the point of needing to walk away from something, and as the eldest of the team he decides to step in before either of the younger two get too frustrated or end up burnt out.

also a note. i dont plan on sacrificing myself for you. oh the early show late show forshadowing irony

the crux of the issue is that hiromu has been training all by himself for 13 years, whereas youko and ryuuji have always trained with each other. hiromu still believes he has to do everything by himself, and subconciously believes that he can only fully trust himself. because of this he hasnt been allowing ryuuji and youko to take the lead and do their parts while he stands back for a moment, he hasnt allowed himself to trust them enough for there to be a proper give and take in their team. and thats not because hiromu doesnt like youko and ryuuji, its just something that he hasnt thought of this entire time. when youve worked and trained alone for your entire life, its jarring to realize that you have people you can rely on and trust.

in the end its another sweet moment and good building of the team, they have to work hard to achieve their goal and they each have different strengths and weaknesses, and hiromu has to realize that he needs to trust his teammates just as they trust him in order for them to survive.

[flame-cat]

so during my initial liveblog of ofmd i did some rambling, and i think i should post some. starting with the scene where stede first wakes up after ed saves him:

i still find it so funny how ed immediately has it down bad for this. french toast strip of a man

ok i rewatched the Scene and im

god

when stede wakes up, see this... guy? this big burly leather-clad Guy? with this. big soft eyes and this messy salt-and-pepper hair. and hes like. what the fuck happened, and ed starts explaining and stede Remembers (this same dude was the one who had Heard Of Him, who came and rescued him from the brink of death, was the first and last thing he saw just now) and immediately tries to get up because even though the last thing he remembers of his crew is being told hes the worst pirate ever and conceding that he deserves that, he still cares about them and wants them to be ok, so he tries to get up and nOPE STILL STABBED OW but this Guy just. gently. very gently pushes him down. very softly shushes him, tells him he needs to rest. and ed his like, feeling ways about this already, because wow he really is different, and the next words out of stede's mouth are "do you work for blackbeard?" and ed's whole FUCKING WORLD gets flipped on its axis because he expected to hear are you blackbeard but in stede's mind theres no way this puppy-eyed soft man sitting on his bedside and touching him so gently could POSSIBLY be blackbeard, so maybe he just works for him, and meanwhile ed's having a whole fucking Moment over here like. yeah. he does in a way work for blackbeard, because blackbeard isnt him is it? so he says yes, and introduces himself for the first time in so long as. just ed. and they shake hands

and thats how it starts, of course it is, because in order for this to ever have happened theyd have had to know each other as stede and ed first

the way that ed at first is obviously head-over-heels already for stede, right, because YOU DONT CHASE A PERSON ACROSS THE OCEAN AND SAVE THEIR LIFE when youre NOT feeling a Way about them. and the best part is? ed knows NOTHING about stede. he just knows hes clever, and silly, and trying to be a pirate, and very very lucky to be alive. and ed is. FASCINATED. hes bemused, hes EXCITED and INTRIGUED for the first time in so long. and then he Meets him (sort of) and he of course makes sure hes ok, sits vigil at his bedside. just looking at him. listening to him mumble about mary (whos mary? who the fuck is mary????) and being so gentle with him even though he doesnt even FUCKING know him yet? but he looks at his ship and his crew and his little model ship that mary hated so much and he ADORES IT. all of it. all the parts of stede people either hate or mock or overlook, ed loves it. is so enamoured by this Guy. and to top it all off, the first thing stede says to him is to ask if he WORKS FOR blackbeard. not if he IS blackbeard, if he WORKS FOR HIM. and ed is like. yeah. blackbeard isnt really me, is he?

i love how its framed too. in the narrative at first youre like, lead to believe blackbeard wants to kill stede, and then you meet him in episode 4 and ed is just. a total fucking goofball? and he was OBVIOUSLY chasing stede because he just GENUINELY wanted to meet this guy. even after "suck eggs in hell" ed is just. SO INSANE over this dude. like oh my god

the way you look at these two characters and ur first thought is that stede would pine after ed when its THE OPPOSITE is so funny and so so good

ed is pining after stede before even MEETING HIM and meanwhile stede doesnt even realize hes actually in love with ed untilSO MUCH LATER

in conclusion ed is morosexual

[matan4il]

Rewatching in anticipation for Mondays episode because I feel extremely confident and want to see some scenes again in a different light. Honestly until Eddie broke up with Anna I just thought this show was fucking with me. So I'm curious about your take on 2 episodes.

The Jinx episode where Anna comes back and Eddie is wondering if he should ask her out. And basically the subtext is all of the 118 is against him about the universe. Now I sort of see it as subtext of them being like your doing what you think you should do, not what your heart is saying.

And the second the balcony scene where he is comforting Buck in his own way about how he was never gonna fix Chimm and Maddie. But the focus on maybe Buck doesn't know Maddie like Chim does. Its fresh off his break up and now seems heavy handed on his inner musings of soul mate partners vs loved ones.

I don't know. I don't want to get to hopeful but do you really think they were honestly always leading here. Because this season seems to enforce just how deeply repressed Eddie is in his feelings. Another example was when Buck was stuck in the hand sanitizer fire. They focused so little on Eddy and the ones to comfort him after were Bobby and Hen. Do you think it was to lend to them writing him as trying to "conceal dont feel" type behavior?

Oooh, Nonnie! Thank you, this is an awesome ask, but it really has a lot of different questions, so let me break them down as best I can:

1. Jinx's theme of Eddie vs the 118 about the universe screaming:      I think that ep mainly dealt with Eddie's tendency to deny himself, yep. At that point in time, it's about him denying himself the right to move on from Shannon, and while Ana turned out to be the wrong person for him, Eddie wouldn't have known that if he hadn't tried dating her. That would have always been this 'what if she was the perfect personal all along?' cloud hanging over his head. Thanks to giving himself finally the permission to think of himself and his needs, not just his 'duty', he doesn't have to be haunted by that question AND he knows now that he really is free to date whoever he desires to.

2. The balcony scene in 504:     I def agree Eddie knows from experience that partners can sometimes know each other better and in ways that other people, even close loved ones, don't see. That being said, it's interesting how much this DOESN'T fit Ana and him. She didn't know him better than anyone else. But it's also fresh on the hills of him tormenting himself over how much he didn't wanna date her, yet once again felt it was his 'duty' to stick it out. And who was the person who saw him and knew that something's off, who insisted to get the truth about the panic attacks, who gave him the exact right advice that gave Eddie the permission he needed to break up with her, when no one else even knew something was wrong? His actual partner.

3. Buck’s comforters at the end of the fire in 405:     I mentioned in my meta for it that I think the show actually overall emphasized Eddie within the context of Buck's personal struggle in that ep more than his teammates, but you're right that it did so in a restrained manner on Eddie's part, because it is his normal strategy of how to deal with things that trouble him.

4. Eddie’s feelings repression theme:     Is this being brought to the surface in s5? Without a doubt. It's more evident this season precisely because, as we saw with the panic attacks and during the call in ep 508, we're seeing the moments when this strategy is failing Eddie. It's not the way his repression is usually presented, and the failure draws attention to the thing that’s failing. That's been too consistent in s5, it has to be intentional.

5. Do I think Buddie were always meant to lead here?     Well, back in s1, the show had a major female protagonist at the dispatch center involved in the main romantic storyline on the show, the one the whole season revolved around (to compare, Bathena only appear in one ep, Chim's romantic storyline falls apart by ep 103, Henren's storyline only starts in ep 106, but Abby and Buck's is prominent and progresses in some way in every single ep of s1). So they brought in Maddie for s2 on to replace Abby as the female dispatcher protagonist, and they also needed a main romantic storyline for the show. They were bringing in Eddie originally to fulfill the part of her love interest, but JLH (forever blessed for this next move) said she thought Chim would be a better fit for Maddie. Which begged the question, what would become of Eddie, then? I guess they liked the character (and Ryan for the role) enough that they didn't want to do away with him, but that meant they needed to tie him to someone on the team, someone who would make Eddie's joining the team emotionally meaningful. And they clearly decided on Buck.

Now, I'm not sure romance was the decision they had in mind for that, but I think it was an option that they definitely did. I think they meant to bring in Eddie and tie him to Buck in a way that would spell out a deep friendship no matter what, and would keep romance as an option in the background. I don't think they knew for sure they would go that route, but I think it was something they were entertaining, which is why we have the seeds of a possible romance in Eddie's introduction and throughout s2, as I've pointed out in my first round of Buddie meta. Because the Buddie subtext was there from the start, but also because they filmed the first explicit nod to the option of romantic Buddie in 210, saying it's a small treat for the ship's fans, but there was barely any Buddie fandom when they would have filmed this (presumably a couple of weeks before the ep even aired and honestly, at that stage most people online seemed to take note of the ship due to the elf lady scene, not prior to it), so I tend to think they wanted us to also be aware of the option, that Buddie might go that way. IIRC at the end of s3, Tim (the show runner) said something about how they're considering the possibility, but haven't decided yet. To me, it feels like the shooting in s4 is an indication they've decided, but I can't guarantee anything. I can just tell you all the little steps along the way feel like someone was laying out the groundwork so that they could always choose to lead here if the show runner/s eventually did decide to take this route with Buddie.

Sorry for the length, but I hope this helped, lovely! xoxox

To anyone else who sent me an ask, I am going through all of them, thank you so much for your patience! If you wanna check whether I've replied to yours yet, you can have a look at my ask tag. xoxox

[maschotch]

Your tags about JJ and her 'just be happy' energy - YES. Always found it so strange that she was given 'sister committed suicide' from the CM writers wheel of tragic backstories and yet still manages to have like no empathy for people who are actively suicidal. Correct me if i'm remembering wrong but the whole thing with her sister is it's supposed to be she loved her so much and still misses her and wears her necklace to remember her - but then people who feel like her sister did, who are depressed (or otherwise mentally ill w JJ lets be real) she's just like... 💕✨don't be sad✨💕 with no attempt at compassion or understanding.

((To be fair, I think a lot (read: most) is just that the CM writers don't write very well (the hottest of takes I know) but is it really too much to ask for the slightest bit of forethought? Narrative cohesion? Could just one of them have maybe written up character profiles (lol) so they didn't end up with a complete reinterpratation of every character every fourth episode? Sorry this got off topic))

never apologize to me for getting off topic aksjdhlskjd i dont think i ever answer anybody’s question i just talk ab random shit

yeah p much everything can be attributed to bad writingTM but for me at least its boring to just leave it at that, yk? i like to come up with some sort of explanation for the dumb shit to give them a cohesive story if nothing else. and tbh i think the lack of understanding jj has for mental illness/suicide has a lot to do with the way she grew up? we know her parents didn’t talk about her sister’s suicide at all. that combined w the traditional small town values of maintaining composure and ignoring/repressing anything that threatens the reputation of a respectable young lady etc combines w the crabs-in-a-bucket desperate clawing she went through to get out of the town leads to this weird mentality that determines worth on strength—or at least ability to hide weakness. she feels this need to prove herself—both to the team and to herself—because of this weird inferiority complex she has bc she’s ashamed to feel emotions akjhdflgas

idk if im just talking out of my ass with this one, but i feel like ive got evidence kajshdl like her whole misinterpretation of hotch? she has this image of him as an uncaring uncompromised authoritative agent whose strength is that he has no weaknesses. which obviously just.. isn’t the way that he is asjdhlakg . intentionally or not, she refuses to see through his coping mechanisms and takes his stoic mask at face value. she respects him not for who he really is but for her own twisted values that she projects onto him. which is why he can never get through to her that it’s okay to lose it, that she doesn’t have to be this rigid unfeeling robot all the time. it’s the complete opposite of how she’s seen the world her whole life. she just… doesn’t believe it

i think another example is in revelations when she asks emily how come none of this affects her. we as the audience (at least on a rewatch) know that it’s bc of her past and what she’s seen and what she’s done and what specific skillsets she’s honed over the years. emily obviously can’t say anything ab that ajksld and with hotch comin up behind her cornering her with his own prying “you’ve never blinked.” jj’s question is personal, but hotch is suspicious. emily’s so focused on deflecting hotch’s perceptive inquiring that she doesn’t really notice that her response “i guess i’m just better at compartmentalizing than most people,” cuts right to the heart of jj’s insecurities when she’s already at an emotional breaking point: she’s already got survivors guilt and hasn’t had anytime to come to terms with anything that’s happened these past couple days, and now she’s overwhelmed w the idea that maybe she really cant handle this job just bc she’s struggling. she demands garcia show her the video of a brutal murder in some sick way of proving herself

unlike hotch, this isnt just a standard she holds herself to. she judges others based on this as well. again, coming from that very small town vibe of criticizing everyone and scrutinizing every move… every mistake is like a strike against god akjsdhlajs she takes it seriously. not just for her, but for everyone. so i think it’s only natural that she’d apply this to everyone she interacts with. based on these standards, there are probably very few people she respects, which is why it’s so significant when she does. probably just hotch, emily, and morgan. blake eventually. tara also. but she thinks reid is weak. especially with the way he handles his experiences with his job, but bc she thinks her value judgment is the way the world just is, it aligns with the way others treat reid, too. like this is just another job qualification they make an exception for him bc of his intellect. same thing with garcia: her specialty makes her useful, even if she’s weak. she probably thinks of gideon and luke as soft, so even if she cares about them i doubt she respects them. and if she’s willing to think like this ab her loved ones, of course she’ll also apply it to the people they come across, even victims. they’re just.. weak. if they want to change that, just be strong! just break yourself down until you're able to handle it. until then.. you're just weak.