#so i corrected her and she just said 'i feel like writing it like this' which good for her! but why cant i have the same treatment >:(
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musashi · 1 day ago
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Musing on Movie!Nessa's Future in Part 2
A lot of people simultaneously expressing confusion alongside their celebration of Nessarose finally being played by a wheelchair user, because her being able to walk in act 2 is obviously a huge plot point--the spell cast on the shoes is what turns them into the ruby slippers which establishes the continuity and leads to a bunch of other plot threads, etc etc.
This is obviously the reason a lot of people give for her being played by an able-bodied actress in the past, it's obviously a bullshit reason because a huge majority of wheelchair users are ambulatory and can walk and stand for varying periods of time just fine. So like. They could have still had an ambulatory wheelchair user playing her, but I digress: the point is she is played by Marissa Bode in the movie. A wheelchair user, hurray!
These are just the opinions of someone who is not a wheelchair user so take them with a grain of salt (and please speak up if you have your own stuff to say as a member of the community!) but from what I can see as someone who's been insane about Wicked for about 15 years now, the movie did a lot of good for Nessa's character. Previously, the ableism toward her was baked into the metanarrative itself, but it's now been moved to a more realistic place--the characters within the story.
Previously Nessa was treated with little agency or autonomy not only by the characters but by the people writing the story. Most notably of all, her chair is constantly being grabbed and wheeled around by other characters. The movie corrects this--she is very rarely wheeled around except by her father (and he is called out for his coddling/infantilizing of her by Elphaba within 2 minutes of their introduction) and the one time a stranger tries to do this in what reads even to me as a genuinely traumatizing and far too familiar scene for any wheelchair user to have to sit through, Elphaba immediately fucking goes apeshit and starts throwing fucking furniture. Nessa herself also tries to advocate for herself and tell the professor in question to stop kidnapping/assaulting her and is, again, realistically not listened to.
This last bit obviously happens in the stage musical too but Nessa's own agency is much less pronounced. The movie adds little things here and there to give her more of that agency--Elphaba's protectiveness is much less "I have to help and watch over my poor disabled sister" and much more "I have to make sure no one underestimates or takes advantage of her." Even the plot detail that Elphaba was not there to be her caretaker but just to drop her off and make sure she got settled in her dorm adds leaps and bounds to Nessa's autonomy. Her and Boq's shared look in the opening ceremonies where they both bond beforehand at their inability to see over the crowds' standing ovation. And of course, the dance scene, where he no longer wheels her out but instead beckons her to follow him!
These little details add up in ways that are, at least in my opinion, very meaningful. They also extend to the production itself--where the sets were made accessible for Marissa and she was even allowed to do her own stunts, in her wheelchair! That part in the beginning where Elphaba levitates her was her in a harness in her fucking chair and all. Dope as FUCK.
So I am mentioning all of this because I think the people working on this movie have shown that they are unafraid to make changes to Nessa to be more respectful to her agency. The ableism she faces, which is still plentiful, is framed as such instead of just casually brushed off & baked into the narrative. By making these small changes, Nessa is not just an unfortunate stereotype of a disabled woman, but a real and fleshed-out person who is dealing with the consequences of those exact stereotypes in the society she lives in. I really liked that! I don't know how others feel about it, but I thought it was very well-shifted.
All that said, 'curing' your disabled character is obviously, like, the biggest no-no of writing a disabled character. And that plot beat is a huge one in every version of Wicked... so far. But here's the thing. We have a shot of Dorothy wearing the slippers. And they... are silver.
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Why. Are they silver.
And they are silver in all of Dorothy's small little cameos. Every single one. Even though this shot, which was used primarily for promotional material to draw people in like "Hey! Wizord of Oz! This is What The Refrance!" did not make the choice to even suggest that they should ever be red. One of the most important pieces of iconography, consciously and notably absent.
I genuinely don't think Nessa's going to have her disability taken away in part 2. With how much love to this part of her has been done to the retooling of her character, I do not think it is a stretch to assume that they will find a way to advance the plot without removing her disability. I believe this because that is the right thing to do for Nessa, to ascend her character, however you feel about it--she should stay in her chair. She deserves to continue on the way she is.
I realize this little change effects a lot. But after seeing part one, I am confident they can do it and do it well and replace what the change takes away with something just as good. I have so much faith in the direction of these movies. I really, truly believe it will happen and it will be good and satisfying and perfect.
It might still happen, sure--Marissa might get a stunt double, or CGI, or some other brand of movie magic. The shoes may still get enchanted and stay silver to pay homage to the original Oz books. But I can't help but consider that idea and keep asking myself... why. That makes so much less sense. Why not give movie audiences the red slippers, draw them in with the imagery, give them one more lion cub in the bike basket or Boq talking about how much he cries or poppies putting the whole class to sleep. Why not give us the ruby slippers when you... could.
I think because this is going to be a big, long awaited improvement. And I think it is hiding there in plain sight.
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enemiestolovershoe · 3 days ago
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Can you write an X reader with JJ Maybank where the reader has loved him and been kind since they were kids so when he shows interest in kiara they are upset. They get into a into a situation where they have to confess that to JJ, and he kind of confesses back that he was only interest in kie to try and get over y/n? Maybe angsty a bit, happy ending fluffy. Thanks you! Love ur blog btw
All this Time
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JJ Maybank x bsf!reader
Summary: Y/N and JJ finally confront their feelings after years of tension.
Words: 2880
Warnings: minor fighting and crying
A/N: I got a new Theme for the visuals! What do you think?
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The sun hung lazily in the sky, casting its golden rays over the docks where you and JJ Maybank spent most of your days. The familiar scent of saltwater and the rhythmic creak of boats bobbing against the tide had been the backdrop of your friendship for as long as you could remember. JJ was your constant — wild, reckless, and impossibly charming.
Growing up on the Cut, you’d been inseparable. Late-night bonfires, daring each other to jump off the highest dock into the cold water, and sneaking into abandoned houses had become second nature. It was in those moments, with the stars reflected in the ocean and JJ laughing beside you, that you realized your feelings for him ran deeper than friendship.
You tried to suppress it. JJ wasn’t the kind of guy to settle down or even notice subtle changes in your behavior. Still, you found yourself lingering in his presence, soaking in every grin and every teasing comment he threw your way.
One late afternoon, you sat side by side on the edge of the dock, legs dangling over the water. JJ leaned back on his hands, squinting at the horizon. “You ever think about leaving this place?” he asked suddenly, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
You glanced at him, surprised. “What, like forever?”
“Yeah. I dunno.” He shrugged. “Sometimes I think I’d be better off starting fresh somewhere. But then I think about you guys—” He caught himself, quickly correcting, “—the Pogues. I couldn’t leave y’all behind.”
Your heart ached at the thought. “I can’t imagine you anywhere else,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
JJ smirked, his blue eyes meeting yours. “You’d miss me too much, huh?”
You rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder. “Don’t flatter yourself, Maybank.”
His laughter filled the air, and for a moment, it was just the two of you against the world. But as summer rolled on, something shifted.
“JJ, where the hell are you?” you called out, pushing through the dense trees that lined the edge of the beach. The sound of voices and laughter drew you closer, and you froze when you saw him.
JJ was sitting with Kiara on the sand, his usual cocky grin plastered across his face. He leaned in closer than necessary, gesturing animatedly as Kiara laughed at something he’d said. It wasn’t the first time you’d noticed the two of them together, but this time, it felt different.
“Hey!” you called out, plastering on a smile as you approached. JJ glanced up, his face lighting up at the sight of you.
“There you are!” he said, waving you over. “We were just talking about heading to the wreck for a swim. You in?”
Kiara gave you a friendly smile, but her posture didn’t shift, her focus still half on JJ. “Yeah, it’s perfect weather for it,” she said.
You hesitated, feeling out of place. “Actually, I was gonna head back to the Chateau. I need to talk to John B.”
JJ frowned. “You sure? You’ve been ghosting us lately.”
“I’m not ghosting,” you said quickly, avoiding his gaze. “Just… busy.”
He didn’t look convinced, but Kiara spoke up before he could press further. “Well, maybe we’ll catch you later, then.”
You nodded, forcing a smile before turning on your heel and heading back up the path. Your chest tightened as you walked away, the sound of their laughter fading behind you.
“Are you okay?” Sarah asked later that night, finding you sitting alone on the Chateau’s porch. She plopped down beside you, handing you a cold beer.
You sighed, taking a sip. “Yeah. No. I don’t know.”
Sarah arched a brow, waiting.
“It’s JJ,” you admitted after a long pause. “He’s… into Kiara.”
Sarah’s expression softened. “And that bothers you because…?”
You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “Because I’ve been in love with him since we were kids, and now it feels like he doesn’t even see me anymore.”
“Y/N,” Sarah began, her tone gentle but firm, “JJ’s an idiot, but he’s also… JJ. He doesn’t notice things until they slap him in the face. If you want him to know how you feel, you’re gonna have to spell it out for him.”
You shook your head, frustration bubbling over. “He’s already made his choice, Sarah. It’s not like I can just tell him now.”
Sarah didn’t respond immediately, her gaze thoughtful. “Maybe you should,” she said finally. “Before it’s too late.”
You didn’t answer. Instead, you stared out at the dark waves rolling in, wishing more than anything that JJ could see you the way you saw him.
Sarah’s words lingered in your mind, no matter how much you tried to push them away. Tell him? You couldn’t even imagine the humiliation that would follow. Besides, JJ had been spending more time with Kiara lately, their bond growing stronger with every passing day. It was a losing battle, so you avoided him.
Two weeks had crawled by since that night. You’d become a master at dodging JJ. When the Pogues planned hangouts, you either claimed you were busy or conveniently showed up late and left early. At first, it seemed like he didn’t notice, but JJ was sharper than he let on.
It was a blazing summer day when it all came to a head. The Pogues were sprawled out on the beach, soaking up the sun. The scene was idyllic — John B and Sarah were locked in their little world, Pope was reading a book under the shade of a palm tree, and Kiara was tossing a frisbee around with JJ. You sat further up the shore, your legs crossed as you pretended to be engrossed in scrolling through your phone.
“Hey, Y/N!” JJ’s voice cut through the sound of crashing waves. You ignored him, keeping your eyes glued to your screen. He called again, this time louder. “Y/N! You gonna sit there all day, or are you actually gonna hang out with us?”
You sighed, barely glancing up. “I’m good here, thanks.”
JJ’s carefree grin faltered, replaced with a flicker of irritation. He jogged over, kicking up sand as he approached. “Alright, what’s your deal?” he asked, standing over you with his hands on his hips.
You blinked up at him, feigning confusion. “What deal?”
“This,” he said, gesturing between the two of you. “You’ve been acting weird. Distant. Did I do something, or are you just having a rough couple of weeks?”
The others were starting to notice now. You could feel their eyes on you, the weight of their curiosity settling heavily.
“Can we not do this right now?” you muttered, shifting uncomfortably.
JJ crouched down, lowering his voice. “No, we’re doing this. You’ve been avoiding me, Y/N. What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on,” you snapped, your tone sharper than intended. “Maybe I’ve just got other things to worry about besides whatever game you and Kiara are playing.”
The words were out before you could stop them, and JJ’s face twisted in confusion and frustration. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
You stood abruptly, brushing sand off your legs. “Forget it.”
JJ grabbed your wrist, stopping you from walking away. “No, I’m not forgetting it. Talk to me!”
You yanked your arm free, your voice rising now. “Why do you care so much? You’ve been glued to Kiara’s side for weeks. Go bother her!”
“Are you serious right now?” JJ exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “You’re pissed because I’ve been hanging out with Kie?”
The commotion had drawn the attention of nearby beachgoers. You could hear the snickers of Kooks lounging under their umbrellas, their whispers cutting through the air.
“Maybe if you weren’t so busy being oblivious, you’d understand why this bothers me!” you fired back, the heat of your frustration bubbling over.
“Oblivious?” JJ repeated, his voice dripping with disbelief. “I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with you for weeks, and now you’re blaming me for—”
“God, JJ, you’re impossible!” you shouted, throwing your hands in the air.
“And you’re being ridiculous!” he shot back, his face reddening.
The Kooks’ laughter grew louder, the sound twisting the knife in your already fragile composure. You felt your face burn as you realized how much of a spectacle you were making, but you were too far gone to stop now. JJ looked just as flustered, his hands raking through his blond hair as he struggled to piece together what had caused this fight.
“Whatever,” you muttered, shaking your head as you turned away. “I’m done.”
JJ’s voice followed you, tinged with anger and something else you couldn’t quite place. “Yeah, well, maybe I’m done too!”
The tension in the air was unbearable, thick enough to choke on. You stopped in your tracks, your body trembling with frustration and pent-up emotions. With a sharp turn, you faced JJ again, your chest heaving as tears began to blur your vision. The suddenness of your movement made him pause, his anger replaced by a flicker of concern.
“What the hell is wrong, Y/N?” JJ’s voice softened, his brows furrowing. “Talk to me. Please.”
Your lips trembled, the words caught in your throat, but the dam finally broke. “I love you, JJ!” you shouted, the confession tearing its way out of you with a force that left you breathless. “Why can’t you see how much it hurts me when you hang out with Ki this close?”
His eyes widened in shock, his mouth opening and closing as if he didn’t know how to respond. The weight of your confession hung between you like a storm cloud, and suddenly, all the anger, all the jealousy, all the heartbreak you’d been bottling up spilled over in waves.
“I’ve loved you since we were kids,” you continued, your voice breaking as tears streamed down your face. “And every time I see you with her, laughing with her, looking at her like that—it feels like someone’s ripping me apart from the inside.”
JJ stepped forward, his face etched with something you couldn’t quite place. “Y/N…”
“No, let me finish,” you said, wiping at your face as sobs wracked your body. “I’ve been by your side through everything. I’ve defended you, fought for you, and loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And you—” your voice cracked, “—you’re so busy chasing after Kiara, you don’t even notice what you’re doing to me.”
Your knees buckled slightly under the weight of your emotions, but JJ caught you, his hands gripping your arms as he steadied you. His touch sent a jolt through you, but you were too exhausted to pull away.
“I didn’t know,” he whispered, his voice thick with regret. “I swear to God, Y/N, I didn’t know.”
“How could you not know?” you cried, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. “I thought I was obvious.”
JJ’s hands slid down to your wrists, his grip firm but gentle. “Because I’m an idiot,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I thought… I thought I didn’t have a chance with you. So I—” He hesitated, looking ashamed. “I spent time with Ki because I didn’t know how to talk to you, Y/N. I was trying to distract myself.”
His words hung in the air, and for a moment, the world seemed to tilt on its axis. “What?” you asked, barely able to process what he was saying.
“I love you too,” JJ confessed, his voice trembling now. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I just didn’t know how to say it without screwing everything up.”
Your heart stopped, the weight of his words crashing over you like a tidal wave. Before you could respond, JJ closed the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. The warmth of his embrace was overwhelming, his scent—saltwater and sunscreen—comforting and familiar.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he murmured against your hair. “I never wanted to hurt you. I just… I was scared.”
You melted into him, your sobs quieting as you clung to him like he was your lifeline. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest.
“Because I didn’t want to lose you,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “But I almost lost you anyway, didn’t I?”
Pulling back slightly, JJ cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the remnants of your tears. His blue eyes searched yours, filled with a mix of fear and hope. “Can I kiss you?” he asked softly, his voice trembling with vulnerability.
You nodded, unable to find the words. JJ leaned in slowly, giving you a moment to pull away if you wanted to—but you didn’t. When his lips met yours, it was everything you’d imagined and more. The kiss was soft and tentative at first, but it quickly deepened, both of you pouring years of unspoken feelings into that one moment.
When you finally pulled away, breathless and trembling, JJ rested his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dumbass,” he said, a small, self-deprecating smile tugging at his lips. “But I promise, I’m not gonna screw this up again.”
You couldn’t help but smile, your heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. “You’d better not, Maybank,” you teased, your voice still shaky but laced with warmth.
JJ chuckled, his arms tightening around you. “You’re stuck with me now,” he said, his tone soft but resolute.
The warmth of JJ’s arms around you was something you never wanted to lose, and for a moment, the world seemed to fade away. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore was drowned out by the steady rhythm of his breathing, and you clung to him as if the tide might carry you both away. You had no idea how long you stayed like that, but when you heard voices approaching from the direction of the Chateau, reality began creeping back in.
“Would you look at that?” Sarah’s voice rang out, filled with teasing amusement.
“Finally!” Kiara exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air dramatically. “I thought we’d need an intervention.”
You pulled back slightly from JJ, still wrapped in his embrace, and turned to see the rest of the Pogues standing a few feet away, all of them wearing varying expressions of amusement and smug satisfaction. Pope had his arms crossed, shaking his head with an exasperated smile. Sarah was grinning widely, nudging John B, who looked equally pleased. Even Cleo, leaning casually against Pope, raised an eyebrow and smirked knowingly.
“Don’t mind us,” Cleo said, her accent laced with humor. “Just here to enjoy the show.”
JJ groaned, rubbing the back of his neck as he finally released you, though his hand lingered at your waist. “Seriously? You guys were spying?”
“Not spying,” John B said, holding his hands up in mock defense. “We just heard the yelling and figured someone was about to beat the shit out of JJ.”
“Honestly, I kinda hoped she was,” Pope added with a grin. “Would’ve been entertaining.”
“Very funny, Pope,” JJ shot back, though his tone was light. “Glad to know I’ve got so much support.”
“Can we just take a moment to appreciate how dumb you two have been?” Kiara said, stepping closer. “Because, seriously, everyone knew. We’ve been waiting for you to figure it out for years.”
You felt your face heat up, glancing at JJ, who looked equally sheepish. “Years?” you asked incredulously.
“Oh, yeah,” Cleo chimed in, her smirk widening. “Y’all weren’t exactly subtle. The looks, the ‘friendly’ touching, the way JJ turns into a golden retriever whenever you’re around? Please.”
JJ groaned again, dropping his head back dramatically. “Okay, we get it. You’re all geniuses.”
“Hey, at least it’s finally out in the open,” Sarah said, giving you an encouraging smile. “And, for what it’s worth, I think it’s cute.”
John B clapped JJ on the shoulder. “Don’t screw this up, Maybank.”
JJ gave him a mock glare. “I don’t need the advice, John B.”
“I mean, you kinda do,” Pope muttered under his breath, earning a laugh from Kiara and Cleo.
Rolling his eyes, JJ turned his attention back to you, his expression softening. “You good?” he asked quietly, his voice so low that only you could hear.
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah. Better than good.”
His grin returned, and for a moment, it felt like the two of you were in your own little bubble again, despite the teasing and laughter from your friends.
“Well, now that this is settled,” Kiara said, breaking the moment, “can we get back to enjoying the beach? I came out here for some sun, not a soap opera.”
“Sure, Kie,” JJ said, smirking as he slung an arm around your shoulders. “But don’t act like you weren’t loving every second of it.”
“Don’t push your luck, Maybank,” Kiara shot back with a grin.
As the group started to disperse, Cleo caught your eye, her expression softening slightly. “About time, Y/N,” she said with a wink. “Good for you.”
You smiled at her, a wave of gratitude washing over you. For the first time in weeks—no, years—it felt like everything had finally fallen into place.
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gigantomachylesbian · 8 days ago
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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kurokoros · 4 months ago
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first of all, the duffers absolutely didn't have the full series planned out from the start because Stranger Things was originally pitched as a limited series with 1) the potential for a direct "sequel" that would follow the younger kids as adults (basically, they pitched "It") or 2) an outright sci-fi horror anthology. second of all, even if the duffers did have everything mapped out from the start that doesn't mean that plan isn't garbage.
#strangerthoughts#sorry ST reddit is driving me INSANE. please crawl back out of the duffers' asses#these guys literally lost the plot back in S3 and course corrected so hard that everyone collectively experienced whiplash#if they had any kind of plan in mind it definitely wasn't until after S2#I would argue it wasn't until after S3 tbh#like. S1 was definitely intended to stand alone#S2 was a direct continuation that only happened because netflix saw the show as profitable#and the duffers scrambled to yeet something out in a little over a year#which is why the justice for barb plot is a thing and el's plot is so disconnected from the rest of the season#they had no idea what to do with her when she was SUPPOSED TO DIE#S3 feels like the duffers pitched an anthology season and netflix said no#like. I could have liked S3 as a standalone campy action comedy#but it being a wacky season in the midst of non-wacky seasons makes me wonder what the duffers were smoking#and if the duffers had a solid plan for vecna before S3 I'll give them my left kidney free of charge#because S4 is a messy season. they crammed things in there that did not need to be crammed in#they bloated the cast and clearly had no idea what to do with 75% of said cast#and when I talk about the episodes being too long I'm directly referring to how in the last episode the kill vecna crew are being#STRANGLED BY VINES and PINNED TO A WALL for like thirty minutes straight#at that point someone should have suggested they reevaluate what they just wrote. because what they wrote sucked#I genuinely don't think the duffers will ever be show runners again#I think they'll continue to direct. which they are pretty good at. but I don't see them ever writing anything majorly successful again
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minglana · 8 months ago
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cooooolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. i went to my friend to ask why she didnt invite me and she said multiple things that just. made it worse :)
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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 9 months ago
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I ran this morning AND wrote some AND made art and I’m so proud of me
#didn’t get any of my actual office work done oopsies#but in my defense it’s a Friday and also I did allot time for it I just ended up not doing it#anyways still proud of me!!! guys art is so so important and I know that and I preach that but I haven’t been doing it#and I just picked up a blank sheet of paper and did it#and is it good or anatomically correct? no but it was so FUN#and I’ve been working thought Tim Clare’s writing stuff and it’s been GOOD#I like this new series of exercises a lot better than the couch to 80k#they’re. the same honestly and I don’t actually care about his commentary all that much#maybe I’m just more present or more invested in them#I only ran for 15. min and then I had to call my brother to pick me up because the heat was gonna make me pass out :/#but also I TRIED#I fucking tried today#also did u know running is utterly miserable.#runners high is def a thing#felt amazing afterward#but holy shit it’s awful in the moment#my roommate ran a 25k recently and I talked to her about it and she said it never gets better#which is. not very encouraging#but also I Want To run as much of this 5k as I can#maybe I’ll be dead after but it’s fine I have a couple days to recuperate before the eclipse#WHICH IM ALSO EXCITED SBOIT. I’ve never seen a total eclipse before#goddamit my brain jumped to too many places#delete later#anyways. if u didn’t u should acknowledge ur accomplishments today#even if they didn’t feel like much#now I’m gonna go read a 115k fanfic that’s gonna wreck me#that’s my treat to me#I HAVE ACTUAL BOOKS TO FINISH. but NO. THIS is how I’m spending my time. and it’s fine I’m valid#I’ve been talking to all the lesbians about running too#and they’ve been so encouraging too!! I love my coworkers and very distantly related coworkers sm
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february-academia · 2 years ago
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28.04.2023
So much happened this week. (In tags I'll rant about it)
N4 is coming and my prep is not at all good. Took a test today and i failed🥲. But i know my prep is soo bad,it was bound to happen. So have to study for that.
College exams are coming🥹 also have to study for that. The dissertation proposal is in the finalising stage,so that's good. But have to work on it properly imo.
Then i also proposed another research study to my professor and he has encouraged me to go for it. So,also have to work on it.
These very cutu plants in the scorching heat were a treat to eyes and mind.
Got this book from the library and I'm really enjoying reading the essays.
( correction in a tag- she scored less than me in class and she was all sad sad. With her i had to suppress my happiness at moments like these)
#here i go#so here in this clg i have 2 friends mainly they are my classmates and one is roomates also so thsi roomate is very toxic i kinda knew it#from the start but ignoted it bcs we became friends when we used to have online lectures and haven't met each other and somethings happened#in which she helped me so i was kinda obliged to stay w her. and after sometime i kinda strted feeling it. all the bad vibes#the toxicity she carry for other ppl judging them on their appearances and whenever i trued to correct her tries to manipulate things#like she jas all of the mean girl vibe but i the clown couldn't just had the courage or ways to not be w her i so wnated to but couldn't#it was all so fucked up and living w her. i changed i started judging ppl. this was so bad. she went through soem toughtimes and as i frien#friend i cared for her i was there for her almost all the times and most of the times whenever i needed her she was not.#tries to dominate always and the incident due to ehich I'm writing all this is - I'm not earing well properly well from past month she know#and last sunday i was very excited to this dish and i wanted to take more and she said very rudely how much more will you eat? i said i did#not had lunchand almost didn't eat the ehole day what's yhe nig deal abt it why tou saying and stopping me like that and she said i did not#say it she said again i did not say it with that rude voice like she can never be wrong and ppl wjom i rarely talk to have noticed that#I've lost weight but she who luves wirh me almost all the time do not know it whom I've talked to abt this don't knwo it . i didn't have#any appetite after that i just stuffed the food unsideand went outside wiyjout syaing anything 8 wanted ro puke so bad i controlled my#i couldn't beleive what just happened i didn't try to talk to her and she obviously wouldn't bcs of teh ego and then there's another friend#and classmate of us and she has a great bond w her then after taht incident she is also not talking ro me and. avoiding me in the corridor#making me feel like I'm the onw wrong here and thwse 2 ppl were not on talking term a week ago again ego calshes this other girl didn't#so yeah i got snakes here#now I'm all alone but this feels great literally like yes i cried and couldn't sleep bcs even tho i knew they are not always what they show#they were the only obes here i was able to form a bond with ( i hate this part so much now)and i care abt friendships alot but it ended#they are not talking to me I'm not talking to them. but thus whole thing made me free now I'm free i don't have to wait for them everytime#i want to go to library or to a class or to a walk bcs they wanted everything to be done in a grp#and I'm going everyday out to study to walk and to jyst peacefully live bcs now I don't have to deal with negativity and toxicity anymore#i feel myself again my trye self who was kind to ppl who wanted to just study quietly in evening who wanted to just go in class on time#i don't have to feel that if i di this will she judge me I'm feeling free with what I'm wearing I'll enjoy and celebrate all my wins#and achievements of the last year bcs i couldn't even enjoy those when i was with her just bcs she didn't got less tahn me#I'm smiling more nad I'm loving more myself to actually avle to come out of thsi spiral i didn't even know i could so yay#listening to you're on your own kid in loop and it made me so happy#that's it done. there was so much to say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hope you got some idea of what's happening in my life#sending you all love and light and if you find urslf in somesimilar situation or any difficulty rn hope you get out of it very soon<3
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coelakanths · 2 years ago
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i try to act all high n mighty n mature but the second someone slightly older than me respects me/my identity/my work its all fucking over
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wheucto · 1 year ago
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ok after the effect of lying wore off this is kinda funny
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aromanticannibal · 10 months ago
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desperately trying to not be an asshole when i correct my non-native speaker friend on her frecnh
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aperrywilliams · 25 days ago
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Tin Wedding (Spencer Reid x ExWife!Reader)
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Author Masterlist | Event Masterlist
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x ExWife!Reader.
Summary: You've become friends with Penelope Garcia over the past year, and after much insistence from her, you agreed to visit her at her office one day. What you didn't expect was to run into your ex-husband there. And surely you didn't expect that he - Spencer Reid - is Penelope's coworker.
Word Count: 7.2k (please, stop me!)
Warnings: Yes. I set this one as +16. Mention of Reader being drunk. Curses and some strong words. Mention of sex - oral (m&f). Nothing detailed. IDFK anything about the US marriage and divorce system.
A/N: 2nd Fic for the "We are not gonna make it" writing challenge I was hosting during October with my sis @babymetaldoll. I'm so sorry for the delay, but life has crushed me these past weeks.
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The ding of the elevator signals you are already on the sixth floor. The doors open, and the first thing you see are people going and coming. It's the bustling of a lively office at noon. But this is not just any office; this is the FBI headquarters in Quantico. You never thought you would be in a place like this in your life, but here you are after your friend Penelope convinced you to visit her at work after insisting for weeks.
BAU - Behavioural Analysis Unit reads the glass doors in front of you. This is the place. Looking at the scattered desks on the open floor, you look for a clue that leads you to Penelope.
People walk past you without paying much attention. Maybe you should ask for help. But before you can decide to do so, a voice behind your back breaks you out of your thoughts.
"Can I help you?"
You know that voice. You're sure of that. But wait. It can't be—not after years of not hearing it.
You slowly turn around just to confirm that your suspicions are correct. Standing in front of you is a curious Spencer Reid, who pales when he sees your face. He remembers you, too.
"Oh God, Spencer?"
A stupid question with an obvious answer, but that doesn't take away the surprise of coming face to face with someone you never thought you'd see again in your life.
"(Y/N)? Wow..."
Time has passed, you tell yourself. Spencer looks more grown up. His hair is a little shorter, and he doesn't look so skinny anymore; it even seems there's some muscle under the white shirt he sports. Some stubble adorns his face, and dark circles can be seen under his eyes. But his beautiful eyes are the same as you remember them from when you first met in Pasadena.
"What are you doing here?" You ask, still shocked. Spencer's expression seems pretty much the same as yours.
"Uh. Well, I work here," he explains after clearing his throat.
A Caltech's genius working with the FBI? You wouldn't have expected it. But then again, you didn't expect to cross paths with him after all this time. "And what are you doing here?"
Good point. Why did you come? Oh, yes. Penelope Garcia.
"I'm here to see a friend," you mumble. Spencer's confused look changes to what? Disappointment? Of course, you're not there for him. It's stupid ever to think that, considering you haven't talked since the day you said goodbye and parted ways in that tiny apartment you shared in Pasadena.
And then an awkward silence. What are the chances that after so long, you were going to meet Spencer? And if you're wondering how long, we're talking about ten years when you were both pursuing your degrees at Caltech. In your case, it was the first one because Spencer was already in his third PhD when you met.
Before you can say something else, the one and only Penelope Garcia burst into the room, looking for you.
"There you are! Why didn't you call me when you got here?"
Totally unbeknown to the tense silence, she steps in front of you and hugs you. You can feel Spencer's confused look on you. "I'm glad you made it! We have so much to talk about."
"Garcia is your friend?" Spencer asks, gaze on you, and it's when you realize how weird the situation is. Penelope turns to him, an eyebrow furrowed.
"Of course, I'm her friend. And she came to see me," Garcia scoffs until she realizes something. "Wait a minute. For what reason would you ask that?"
Spencer clears his throat. He doesn't know what your opinion is about people knowing that fact.
"We know each other," you explain to her before asking. "How do you know Spencer?"
"No way! What a coincidence!" Garcia chirps. The exclamation raises the interest of the people entering the bullpen. Some of them approach to where you all are. "Reid? We work together!"
What were the chances of something like that happening to you, you wondered, as Spencer continued to stare at you, his eyes never leaving yours.
"What's happening here, baby girl?" A toned man asks Garcia, who can't contain her excitement.
"Oh, you wouldn't believe it," she announces as two women join the conversation.
Garcia briefly explains to the audience who you are and that she just found out that you both know Spencer, too. After the first impression, she proceeds to introduce you to those there: Derek, JJ, and Emily. From the corner of your eye, you can see Spencer downcasting his look at their curious glances at him.
"So you guys know each other?" JJ asks.
You both nod at the same time as Spencer mutters, "Caltech."
"Ah, fellow grads," JJ assumes. And in part, she is right. Indeed, you met while you were starting your master's degree and subsequent doctorate in the same area as Spencer.
"Kind of," you admit, seeing Spencer's cheeks flush and feeling yours burn too. The guy who was presented as Derek Morgan has a smirk plastered on his face.
"College sweethearts?" Morgan asks in a teasing tone. And he is kind of right, too. You lock eyes with Spencer, and you can't tell if he did or wants to say to his colleagues what you really were at that time. But before you both can even think of saying anything, Garcia's eyes widen in recognition.
"No! Wait a minute! Did you go to college together? You said the other day that you-" she starts connecting information, and you start to freak out internally. Before you can stop her, Garcia blurts. "Oh! Spencer is your ex-husband? You have to be kidding me!"
Shit. How did she figure it out so quickly? Sure, it might be your fault for sharing details about your college love life with her on a night filled with alcohol, but how could you have known she was already acquainted with him? You were careful not to mention any names or specifics, yet here you are.
"Wait, what?" Morgan's smirk turns to jaw slack in astonishment. There is no difference between JJ's and Emily's reactions. Spencer's face is flushed, and so is yours.
"Someone is going to say anything?" Emily asks, bouncing her eyes between you and Spencer.
"Uh, well—" you start, giving Spencer an apologetic look, who returns you an awkward tight-lip smile.
"Yeah. We were married," he confirms.
"When we were at college," you add.
You can feel the heaviness in the air and the mid-surprised, mid-incredulous looks from the people around you. Morgan is the first to break the silence.
"Damn it, pretty boy. What a story you had hidden from us," he says, patting Spencer's shoulder. JJ - the quietest one until now - senses how uncomfortable you and Spencer are with all the attention.
"Guys, why don't we give them a minute?"
After a moment of consideration, Emily seconds the motion. "Yeah, Morgan, would you help me with something?"
"Su- sure," Morgan agrees, still confused but following Emily nonetheless.
"But—" Penelope is still trying to understand the whole situation and has many questions she wants to ask.
"Come on, Garcia. I'm sure (Y/N) will find you when she is ready," JJ encourages, looking at you. That's when you get out of your daze and nod.
"Yes. Yeah. I'll text you, Penelope."
And just like that, the same way people surrounded you just seconds ago, now it's just you, Spencer, and an awkward silence.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you worked here. I didn't know you were Penelope's coworker, and—" you start to apologize.
"No. Don't. It's not your fault," Spencer rushes to speak.
"I shouldn't have told her about - about," you trail off.
"About you having an ex-husband?" Spencer supplies, and you shyly nod.
"Believe me, it's not a thing I tell everyone I meet, but Penelope, well, she-" you try to find the right words. Spencer nods in understanding.
"Yeah, she can be pretty convincing when she wants to know something."
Another halo of silence passes between you until it's Spencer who breaks it this time.
"So, how have you been? I mean, it's been a while." You nod, still uncomfortable with the situation but just as curious as you assume Spencer is.
"Yeah, it's been a while," you confirm. "Good, all good on my end. Working and living. What about you?"
"Me? Good. Working here at the BAU."
"Cool."
Cool? What does that mean?
A sharp 'Reid' is heard from behind you both, making you turn to the source. A well-dressed man with a serious gaze is looking at Spencer from an office threshold. "Can you come, please?" the man adds. Spencer nods quickly. "Sure. I'll be there in a second, Hotch." The answer seems to satisfy the man, so he nods and returns inside.
Spencer turns to you again. "Uh. I - uh-" he stutters, motioning where the man called Hotch was a second ago.
"Yeah. I have to go, too." You have to, actually, but you don't think you can face Penelope or anyone else right now, for that matter. "It was nice to see you." As you are about to run away subtly, Spencer calls your name. Stopping in your tracks, you turn, and your eyes make contact with his again.
"Would you - uh. Would you like to grab a coffee with me sometime?"
It catches you off guard, but you only assume he's being polite. You think you should return the gesture.
"Sure. Why not," you say, giving him a little smile. "Now I have to go. Bye, Spencer."
And with that, you resume your escape to the elevator.
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From the moment he saw you at the BAU, Spencer has never been the same. He never imagined he would see you again, especially under those circumstances. Spencer was so astonished he wasn't even able to start a decent conversation or even ask for your number after inviting you to a coffee.
Also distressed about the interrogation he knew his colleagues would subject to him, Spencer wanders through the BAU halls as if he were not in the present. And, in fact, he is not. After seeing you, he has only been able to think about you and the years you both spent in Pasadena.
A smile tugs the corners of his mouth every time one of those memories comes to him.
"Okay, pretty boy, spill," Derek prompts when he sees Spencer in the kitchen two days after your encounter.
"Uh? What are you talking about?" he turns, confused, to see Derek looking at him with a frown and arms over his chest.
"Come on! You know what I'm talking about. About the pretty lady, Garcia's friend, who happens to be your ex-wife?"
Spencer huffs through his nostrils.
"I already told you. We met in college, and we were together until we graduated," Spencer says nonchalantly as if it's normal. He tries, at least. Morgan scoffs at his attempt.
"Reid. You married her. You just can't tell me you 'were together' as you're talking about any other relationship. She was important; what happened?"
Morgan remembers well a few years ago when Spencer told him about a great love he had while at Caltech and how, from time to time, those memories would come to plague his head. It wasn't hard for Morgan to connect the dots and assume you were the person Spencer was referring to.
Spencer sighs thoughtfully. "We ended it by mutual agreement. We both knew our career paths were going to be incompatible, and we both had so many dreams to fulfill. Our greatest act of love was letting each other go. At least that's how I saw it for a long time."
"But you regretted it at some point," Morgan adds, and Spencer nods. "Why didn't you try to find her then?"
"I didn't want to be selfish. What if she already had her life going perfectly, and I was just going to show like a kicked puppy? It wasn't fair for her."
"Man, I get it, but what about now? You found each other again. Can it be a kind of sign or something." Spencer glances at Derek with an incredulous look.
"Are you listening to yourself? You sound like Garcia," Spencer grumbles, making Derek laugh.
"Yeah. Definitely, it's something my baby girl would say. But, truly speaking, Reid, why not take a chance?"
Spencer huffs in frustration. "I - I don't know anything about her in these years! I didn't even ask for her number that day. I was frozen on the spot!"
"And that will stop you?"
A satisfactory smirk appears on Derek's face when Spencer stays silent, contemplating his options.
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Not wanting to talk about the encounter with anyone, you write to Penelope, apologizing for having to leave suddenly that day. She responds everything is fine and doesn't even ask you why, to which you are tremendously grateful.
But as the days pass by, you know you have to talk to her at some point, so you invite her to come over one afternoon.
You have been thinking a lot and rationalizing everything that happened. Of course, there was always a possibility of crossing paths with Spencer someday, but turning it into reality is different. So you conclude all your nerves were out of the shock of something unprovable happening, not because seeing Spencer after ten years made you fall off your balance.
With that in mind, you were ready to talk to Penelope.
Once she gets to your apartment, you first apologize for leaving that day and explain how you got frozen after the unexpected encounter. Garcia tells you not to worry and even says she is sorry for telling everyone about her discovery without any filter.
"It's just- I was so impressed. I couldn't help it!" she explains, and you nod in understanding.
"It's okay. I guess no one expected something like that."
"Right? But I have to ask. How did Spencer Reid become your husband? I mean, you told me about your ex-husband and all, but I'm sorry, I can't picture Spencer even talking to a girl without stuttering, less asking for marriage, and then divorcing? It's beyond me."
It catches your attention how she talks about him. Although you met Spencer when you both were very young, knowing how shy he was, over time, you managed to beat his barrier and meet a wonderful man full of charisma and not so sheepish after all. Has he never shown that side to anyone else in all these years?
"Why so much interest in my marriage? It's been a decade," you ask Penelope, and her scoff sounds a mix of obvious and disbelief.
"Honey, it's unbelievable Doctor Loving Reid has kept THAT information to himself for so long. So now that it is out, it does pick my full interest. Spill. What happened?"
You shrug your shoulder. "It's like I said the first time I told you. We were young, a whole life ahead. Neither he nor I wanted to cut each other's wings."
"But you loved each other!" Penelope complains with an adorable pout. You have known this woman for what? Less than a year? And she seems brokenhearted about something that happened to you and Spencer ten years ago. She's right, though. You and Spencer were mad in love. Unlike what people have believed for years, your marriage was not a result of a wild night of alcohol and passion in Pasadena. You were both quite sober when you went to court that day. Both even had written down the vows you professed in front of the judge- yours on a piece of paper and Spencer in his brain, of course.
"If it's any consolation, the year we were married, we were very happy," you tell her, fondly remembering that time. Garcia rolls her eyes.
"Well, exactly that's what I mean, miss. If you were so happy, why end it like that?"
The only answer you can think of is 'it's complicated,' but that will surely increase her curiosity.
"We wanted the best for each other, even if it meant being apart. As good rational beings, we weighed our options, and the sensible thing to do was to end it."
Putting it in that way, Penelope can believe it. Having known Spencer for years, she knows for a fact his big brain is capable of analyzing every probability of every possible outcome. What seems incredible to her is how feelings - how love - can be rationalized like this.
A ding from your phone pauses your talk with Penelope. You glance at the device and see a text from an unknown caller.
'Hi. I'm Spencer. I stupidly didn't ask you for your number, so after cursing myself for the past few days, I had to find it out. Don't get mad, please. I would really like to grab a coffee with you if you are up to it. If you don't want to, I understand. And if you don't want me to contact you again, just say the words, and I'll stop. But I really hope you say yes. SR.'
Okay. This is unexpected. Indeed, you remember not having exchanged numbers with Spencer, and you didn't give it much thought either, assuming his invitation had been out of pure kindness. But here you are, reading the message and feeling an emotion you can't describe. Nostalgia, maybe?
You narrow your eyes to Garcia, who immediately suspects who sent you a text.
"Before you ask, I didn't give him your number!" she defends as you breathe a deep sigh.
"He's asking me out for coffee," you tell Garcia, and she can't help but squeal.
"Will you say yes?"
"I don't know. Is it a good idea to get back in touch after all these years?" you muse more for yourself than her.
"Honey, only you know what's best for you, but if you ask me, I remember you telling me after you both split up, you were left with a lot of 'what ifs' in your head, and some of them are still floating around. Maybe this could help clear them up once and for all."
Penelope has a point. But now, you have a dilemma in the form of a coffee invitation.
---------
It's just a coffee. Don't overthink it.
You have been telling yourself that for a while as you walk to the coffee shop where you agreed to meet Spencer today.
He is just being nice.
Sure, after ten years of no contact, this sudden encounter in the FBI - with all his colleagues there - maybe pressured him to invite you to grab a coffee.
Still lost in your thoughts, you don't realize you are already there. After taking a deep breath, you step inside and look around. You spot him in a booth in the corner, back to you. A smile tugs at your lips, remembering all the coffee dates you both had back then. It was your thing. Hours and hours talking about everything and anything until the owner asked you to leave because they needed to close.
"Hey," you greet, making Spencer look up to you.
"Hi," he returns, a smile plastered on his face. "Thanks for accepting my invitation," he gestures for you to sit.
"Sure. Why I wouldn't?" After taking off your coat, you sit in front of him in the booth.
"Yeah. I mean, we haven't talked in ten years. And then we see each other at my work, and- well, it's kind of weird, I guess?"
Weird is an understatement, you think.
"You are right. Kind of it is."
You notice there are two coffee cups on the table. Spencer follows your line of sight.
"Uh- I had ordered already," he points to the coffee in front of you. "I don't know if you have changed your order, though."
"Thanks," you mumble appreciatively. "I haven't changed it, actually."
"Great!"
You try to gauge his expression. Is he nervous? Anxious? Because you are.
"Spencer, if you are uncomfortable, we can just go home. There is no—" You can't finish the sentence before Spencer cuts you off.
"No. No, I'm not. Please, don't think that."
"Okay," you concede. "I won't. But you need to be honest with me, okay?"
"Of course," Spencer agrees.
"You felt obligated to invite me here after what happened?" You bluntly ask, and Spencer's eyes widen.
"What? No, of course not," Spencer immediately denies. "I really wanted to see you. It's just that-" he hesitates. You tilt your head, waiting for him to continue. "I just didn't know if it was right, you know? I mean, we never reach out, and then it happens. We never agreed-" he trails off. And you know exactly what he's talking about.
Back then, when you decided to go separate ways, Spencer asked you what would happen if you met again in the future, and you shook your head, saying it probably wouldn't happen. So yes, you never talked about the possibility, and Spencer understood he should never contact you, and so did you.
"I know. We didn't," you recognize, regret slipping in your voice. "I guess I didn't want to think about the possibility back then."
You two know there are things you left out and left unsaid the last night you were together in Pasadena, but you don't think it's a good idea to say them now—not when this is supposed to be a friendly reunion between exes.
"So, since when have you been working in DC?" Spencer asks after you tell him about your work career on the west side.
"Almost two years," you admit.
Two years living in the same city. Spencer wonders if Garcia hadn't met you, he would have ever seen you again.
Your professional career has certainly been prolific; Spencer can tell after the stories you have been recounting. Years of experience and important jobs, just as you had dreamed when you were in college. These are the same dreams you shared with Spencer during the nights of studying and those where there was everything else but studying.
"I thought you were going to pursue academics. When did the FBI happen?" you ask after saying it's enough of talking about yourself.
"I thought that too. And I did it for a while. Then I met Gideon. He - uh, he showed me what the BAU had been doing, and I knew it was my place to be."
Spencer fondly tells you about his early years working as a profiler and how much he has learned. It seems that, like you, he has found his professional calling.
Two hours and three coffees later, you are both laughing about the weird and funny things you have seen in the past years. It feels good, and much of the initial nervousness has dissipated. But there is one topic you both have actively avoided: romantic relationships.
You are curious about it, and Spencer is, too, but neither of you wants to be the one to mention it first. Spencer is who breaks first.
"Are we going to talk about - about that? I feel we have been dancing about the topic, but I don't know if you want to."
You can't help but snort out of being caught and for the subject itself. You are sure your almost nonexistent love life is enough to make anyone cry or laugh.
"I'm still that obvious?"
"You have your tells," Spencer shrugs. You raise an eyebrow.
"I have my tells? What about you, doctor? You have been bouncing your leg the same way you did the day you defended your engineering PhD dissertation."
Spencer's eyes widen. "You still remember that?"
The insinuation of you forgetting that day makes you scoff.
"Of course I do! I tried everything to try to calm your nerves. Do you remember what I did, and actually, it worked?" Spencer's cheeks redden because he remembers.
You won't tell the details, but you recall, as clear as the day, how you helped him to 'decompress.'
"Okay, okay. Guilty as charged."
"So, what do you want to know?" You ask, still not fully ready but resigned, leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms over your chest.
"Are you with someone?" Spencer asks, and you gasp, feigning surprise.
"No beating around the bushes, uh?"
Spencer's cheeks flush, and he can't help it. "If it's out the line, you don't need to answer."
Seeing him flustered and biting his lower lip makes your heart do flip-flops. It's something you haven't felt in a long time—ten years, to be exact.
"If you had asked me a month ago, I should have said yes."
Indeed, you had a boyfriend until a month ago when his insistence on moving in with you was too much to handle, and his frustrated self decided to say a lot of awful things when you said no to him.
Some people would say you have commitment issues, and maybe you have. But in all honesty, until this day, there is no one you have felt secure enough to take that step.
It's ironic, considering you already have a marriage under your belt.
"I'm sorry," Spencer mumbles.
"No. Don't be. It wasn't meant to be."
'Like I used to think about us,' you want to add, but you refrain. Instead, you explain in not much detail every failed relationship you have had. Spencer listens intently, his heart aching to think of how a part of you might have been broken with each failed relationship. He hasn't done any better, though.
"And that's all. As you can see, there is nothing too exciting to remark," you chuckle to lighten the mood. "Tell me about you. There is a Mrs. Reid waiting at home?"
Spencer snorts, shaking his head. "No. There's no Mrs. Reid. The only one who has held the title has been you," he says with a look that makes your breath hitch in your throat. What is it? Longing?
"Wow. I feel honored," you tease, trying to hide the heat rising to your cheeks.
Spencer tells you about the few relationships he's had over the years. In his own opinion, none of them are very meaningful. When you ask him why, he doesn't hesitate to answer. "This job not only consumes my time, but also a lot of me as a person. Not everyone understands that."
He would like to say no one has ever been so important as to make him doubt continuing to work in what he does. The only person who ever made him doubt was you. But instead of saying it, he prefers to end with a "I guess that's why no one has stayed."
Listening to him talk is like listening to yourself, trying to minimize the fact that professional success is possibly one of the main reasons why other parts of your personal life have never flourished.
It was your choice. You both decided to make it that way. But sometimes you wonder if...
"Do you think we made a mistake?"
Spencer's question gets you out of your thoughts.
You look at him, baffled. "What?"
"Do you think we shouldn't have broken up? That I shouldn't have left?"
You pondered his question for a second. It has to do with how you felt at that time? Or does it have to do with how you felt after or even now?
"Honestly? I don't know, Spencer." A resigned sigh leaves your lips. "I always wanted to think it was the right thing to do."
"You never regretted it?" He asks you, and you shrug, not knowing much to say. Instead, you opt to ask him the question back.
"Did you?"
"Yeah. I did," he admits. "Sometimes I still do."
A heavy silence settles between you. The admission that you both had doubts about the drastic decision you made almost ten years ago is difficult to take. It unfurls a whole new set of questions whose answers you are not sure you are ready to hear or say. But it's only fair he knows your truth as you know his now.
"For what is worth, me too. I regret it. More often than I would like to admit."
Spencer's heart starts to beat faster; breath hitches in his throat for a second.
He tentatively reaches out to rest his hand on yours. You watch the action and think you know what it means. His eyes are hopeful. Something you'd like to mirror in your own, but the uncertainty is there, and you can't help it.
"Spencer, no. Please, don't." You try to articulate but not take your hand away from his. "I wish I could tell you I'm willing to try- to try to make up for lost time, but I can't. Even though it may not seem like it, we're strangers to each other, and I'm not in a place to even think about- you know."
Spencer gives a little squeeze to your hand, nodding.
"I know. And I'm not asking you for us to redo our story and start from where we ended. No. But I would love to get to know you again and be your friend."
"Friends?" You ask, brows furrowed. He smiles.
"Yeah. First and foremost, you were always my best friend. My person. Even if we never get back together as a couple, and we don't have to, I don't want to lose you again."
You take a moment to think about his words. What would be the harm? You're at a stage in your life where you don't want to live thinking about those things you wish you had done and didn't. The things you might have done differently. Why not put reason aside for a moment and just be?
You squeeze his hand back, a sign of yes; you're willing to get to know the Spencer in front of you.
---------
Three months have passed since your conversation with Spencer at the coffee shop. You both agreed to reconnect as friends, which has led to many coffee meetings, lunches, dinners, movie nights, and walks in the park. And to say your heart feels full and happy would be an understatement. You've realized how much of the Spencer you met in Pasadena still exists, and the connection that once brought you together has revitalized and is stronger than ever.
Neither of you has wanted to rush things, and so far, you're both happy to be able to spend time together.
Spencer has also opened the door for you to the BAU team, which has been his family for eight years now. In addition to the bond you already had with Penelope, you now regularly attend the girls' night she hosts with JJ and Emily. You've also gotten to know Derek and Hotch better and understand why Spencer considers them like his older brother and father figure, respectively. You've also become a favorite of David Rossi, who doesn't take no for an answer every time he invites you to one of his dinners.
Like tonight, where you find yourself vividly chatting with the girls in a corner of Rossi's backyard.
"No way I could have passed Dynamics and Mechanics without Spencer," you acknowledge when you're talking about the most challenging subjects you had in college.
"It seems a very interesting topic," Emily jokes, not knowing what the hell you were talking about.
You giggle at the memory, cheeks turning a shade of pink.
"I still remember those afternoons Spencer spent trying to help me memorize the Euler–Lagrange equations and the Hamilton's principle. He made it interesting, if you know what I mean," you wink at them.
"I don't think I want to know," JJ muses. Emily snorts at the suggestion.
"Oh, I definitely want to know what that means," Penelope pipes. You chuckle.
"One night, he made me recite the whole equations with his head buried between my thighs," you confess with a mischievous look.
"Oh my God!" Garcia's jaw goes slack, and Emily's eyes widen in disbelief.
"You fucking kidding me!"
"Definitely, I didn't want to know that," JJ shakes her head.
"Well, I helped him with Applied Computer Science. He had to produce a code to operate a string of relational databases while I was on my knees su-"
"Okay! I get it!" Garcia cuts you off, with her hands in the air, as Emily laughs and JJ groans.
"You asked," you shrug, a smirk on your lips.
"Okay, okay. But hear me out. Since we are talking about college time, and honestly speaking, we all have had someone in college, more or less important, with whom to study or do other things," Emily prefaces, making you giggle. "But from that, to marry, and one year later to divorce? How do you get over something so intense like that?"
You have questioned yourself the same for years.
Looking past JJ's shoulder, you see Spencer talking with Morgan, beer in hand, and you can't help but feel the smile creeping on your face when he looks back and winks at you.
If anything, the past months have made you realize what you had back then with him was unique. But what you're having now? It is as unique as before and better.
"I don't think you get over it. And it's okay; you learn to appreciate it and value the chances life gives you after."
The girls follow your line of sight and share a knowing look. When they see Spencer approaching the group, they collectively decide to go inside the house for a new drink.
"All yours," Garcia whispers to Spencer before going in a bee-line with Emily and JJ.
"What was that?" Spencer asks you with a quirked eyebrow when the girls are out of sight.
You look at him, pretending not to understand.
"I assume they wanted a refill," you say with a shrug. Spencer nods and smiles at you.
"And you don't? Do you want me to get you something?"
"No. I'm fine," you respond to his offer. "Besides, I think I've got my alcohol ration filled for the night."
"If you're done for the night, I can take you home if you want."
That's the Spencer you know, always concerned about your well-being and comfort. You shake your head.
"Not yet. Walk with me, though?" You ask, extending your hand for him to take. Without questioning reasons, Spencer nods and takes your hand. The two of you begin to walk towards the pool area, where the sound of the music coming from the house is less audible.
It's not unusual for you to hold hands now. You trust each other, and it's been an innocent way of showing affection. And while the tension of something more has been building, neither of you has wanted to take the next step yet.
When you stop in the pool deck, Spencer moves to stand in front of you, his free hand reaching to tilt your chin with his index so he can inspect your face for some kind of clue.
"Are you okay?"
You nod as your fingers, from your joined hands, absently play with his. A thorough smile tugs the corners of your mouth. Your eyes admiring Spencer's honey ones in the moonlight.
"More than okay," you admit. But Spencer knows there is more in your mind you're not saying.
"Yeah?"
"Yep." You're stretching this on purpose. A smirk plays on your face. Spencer knows what you are doing.
"Good." His voice is amused. This game was one you both used to play back then, testing each other's curiosity and seeing how long it took the other to demand an answer about what the other was thinking. Usually, you were the one who won since Spencer couldn't stand not knowing.
"Have you grown patient over the years, Dr. Reid?" You ask, entertained. Spencer's laughter fills you with a feeling you thought was dormant inside you, but he has managed to refloat.
Not wanting to prolong his torture, and because you don't have it in you to hold back any longer, you decide to speak.
"I know you remember, but can you tell me the first thing I said to you the day I met you?"
Spencer's eyes narrow in search of the moment you're referring to.
-
You were in the library, busily searching through the shelves for a book you couldn't find. Spencer could see the stress radiating off of you. After watching you for a few seconds, he decided to walk over to the shelf, and leaning down, he pulled a book from the top shelf before presenting it to you. "Maybe this is the one you're looking for?" And he was right. Your first thought was, 'How did I not see it before?' and then you realized the weirdest thing of all, 'how did he know which was the book you were looking for?' You didn't know the guy, and as far as you knew, he didn't know you either.
Seeing your confusion, he proceeded to explain. "It was an educated guess, seeing as you have Fuller's, Richmond's, and Helbert's there. I assumed you were in Thermodynamics 301 and didn't have Priest's."
-
Spencer laughs before trying to imitate your voice. "Can I buy you a coffee in appreciation and keep you in my purse for future reference?" You nod, smiling.
"Bold of me for asking that to a stranger, uh?"
"Bold of you for thinking I would ever refuse," Spencer says in a mocking tone to match your joke. You both share a fit of laughter. Once it subsides, your eyes fix on him.
"Bold of me to think I wouldn't fall in love with you after all these years." Your words hit Spencer, whose expression changes from light to serious in a second.
"What?"
"It's like they say. At some point, something has to give. And this is my moment." You pause before continuing. "I can't say I'm sure what's coming, because I'm not. I also don't know if what you've seen of me these past few months is worth enough for you to love me again. But there's one thing I do know. I love you. I loved you, I missed you, and now I've loved you again."
Spencer is speechless. His brain tries to piece together each word you say. You take both his hands in yours, and you can feel them tremble.
"If you'll have me, I want to be the one that stays," you add, hoping your words are good enough to convey your emotions.
You don't know when tears start running down your cheeks. It might be when you see Spencer's glassy eyes.
"I do love you. And I want you to be the one who stays," he rasps before releasing your hands to cup your cheeks with his own, leaning down to whisper, "Let me be the person you want to stay for."
"You already are," you whisper back before closing the distance between you, allowing your lips to meet in a tender, sweet kiss. A new promise and a new beginning for two souls that were meant to be. Thanks to fate, or maybe not. That doesn't matter anymore.
-
As you kiss, part, whisper sweet nothings to each other, and kiss again, not so far away, are two people watching the scene with satisfied looks on their faces.
"Do you see that, Hot Stuff?" Garcia asks Morgan. A smirk appears on his face.
"Yeah, mama. I see it, clear as the day."
"We did it!" Penelope cheers, whisper-yelling, making Morgan chuckle.
"I should never have doubted you, baby girl," the man says, kissing her cheek.
"Of course not. But I forgive you only because I'm so happy our plan worked wonderfully."
-----------
SIX MONTHS EARLIER
Penelope Garcia's curiosity always gets the best of her. She has gotten to know you better in the past months since the IA convention where you met. She sees you as a beautiful person and a good friend. So when you told her on a night full of alcohol about your ex-husband and how important your relationship was for you, Penelope couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to know more, so maybe she could do something to help. Do what? She didn't know, but maybe more information about it would give her an idea.
Quickly typing on her keyboard, she finds a Pasadena Marriage License with your name on it. Checking the date, Garcia notes you had married in the summer before your senior year. It was expected. You already told her that.
What was unexpected, though, was finding out who the person you had married was. Garcia had to read the name twice before realizing the huge discovery she had just made: Spencer Walter Reid.
'No way! It has to be a mistake,' she squealed, fast-reading the information on the papers. No, there wasn't any mistake. You married Spencer Reid almost ten years ago. The same Spencer Reid she has known for so long and works with her every day.
But wait. You had said, ex-husband. Where are the divorce papers?
Typing again, she finds a divorce request signed by you and Spencer a year after you married. So that is true, too.
Overwhelmed by everything she has just discovered, Garcia is about to close the web tabs with all this data when something pops up: it's a court resolution dated six months after the divorce request. The resolution reads that the request has been denied because one of the parts couldn't be notified for comparison to the Pasadena tribunal. Garcia narrows her eyes and types again, looking for an updated legal document granting the divorce request. She finds none.
'Double holy fucking shit! They are still married!'
Without knowing what to do with this new information, she starts pacing frantically in the office. Garcia knows that the information she found wasn't for her to know, but at the same time, how does it not you or Spencer know this? She can't tell you, but she should, or maybe not. Grabbing her phone, she dials the only person she knows will help her with the dilemma.
"Derek Morgan. I need your delicious ass in my office right now!"
And just like that, a plan emerged. A plan to give a little push to destiny. A little push to you and Spencer cross paths again. Maybe this time, for good.
-----------
"And when are you going to tell them about their failed divorce?" Morgan asks Garcia, who is still looking at the couple giggling and kissing.
"Oh, shush. Let them enjoy tonight. There will be time for that."
Derek Morgan shakes his head, laughing. "Okay. You're the boss, mama. You're the boss."
---------------
Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers
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helioooss · 30 days ago
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normalcy
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synopsis: after getting fired from your job, you somehow set yourself up to become the personal bodyguard of asia’s it girl; minatozaki sana. the contract said 6 months…but they do say opposites attract…right?
w/c: 7k+
warnings: fluff, kissing, minor violent scene with injuries involved, etc. etc. like always, read at your own risk
a/n: honestly? i really enjoyed writing this but ive read it so many times that i just want it off my drafts
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the sharp glow of the gym lights flickered, illuminating the worn pages of ‘the trial’ by kafka. you closed the book with a sigh, feeling the weight of your plight settle into your thoughts. reading was slowly becoming your balm, your silent rebellion against the monotony of life.
today, though, was worst than routine. today was about fists and consequences.
it was meant to be another uneventful shift, the kind you’d become numb to over the months — wiping down benches, checking in with regulars, occasionally offering form corrections to those who were willing to listen. your black work polo, embroidered with the gym’s logo, was slightly faded from too many washes and the familiar scent of rubber flooring and sweat clung to the air.
you knew the place inside out, even if you never quite felt at home here.
as you heaved another sigh at the reception desk, you noticed a commotion near the squat racks. a woman in leggings and a loose tank top stood, flustered, her face a mix of anger and embarrassment.
across from her, a man had his phone angled at an obvious tilt, his thumb suspiciously poised over the screen.
“is there a problem?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even as you approached. you were used to minor disputes, arguments over who got the next set, someone hogging the water fountain; but this was different.
the woman’s eyes darted to you, desperate. “he’s taking pictures of me,” she said, her voice low but urgent. “without my permission.”
“oh, come on,” the man scoffed, tucking his phone into his pocket. he was the type you’d seen too many times — overconfident, built just enough to look intimidating, but his demeanor screamed entitlement. “it’s a public space. besides, you should be flattered.”
you clenched your jaw. you weren’t particularly confrontational, but something snapped inside you at the casual dismissal. maybe it was the way the woman seemed to shrink under his gaze, or perhaps it was the months of barely restrained frustration you’d been bottling up.
“delete the photos,” you demanded, stepping closer.
he smirked, a slow, mocking curl of his lips. “or what?”
you weren’t sure when your fist clenched or when you decided that words wouldn’t be enough. all you remembered was the flash of anger, the way your knuckles collided with his jaw and the shock on his face as he staggered back.
the gym fell silent, all eyes on you.
“what the hell?” he shouted, clutching his face as he sat up on the floor.
you felt a pang of panic, but it was drowned out by a strange sense of satisfaction. “don’t do that ever again.”
the woman mouthed a silent “thank you,” but the damage was done. within minutes, your manager, kyle, a man who was perpetually stressed and underpaid, was rushing over and pulled you aside.
“you can’t just hit customers, y/n,” he said, his voice barely masking his disbelief.
“he was taking photos of her without consent,” you insisted, still shaking with adrenaline.
“i get that, he’ll be banned and a police report will be made, but we have procedures,” he insisted, rubbing his temples. “this isn’t how we handle things.”
“so what? we just let guys like him get away with it?” you shot back, already knowing how this conversation would end. “fucking unreal.”
“he’s already threatening to sue if i don’t fire you,” he answered, with a sigh. “i’m letting you go, effective immediately. i’ll have your final check ready tomorrow.”
“yeah alright,” you clenched your jaw, turning to pick up the rest of your things off the desk. “i hope all of you pricks who just stood by and watched this woman get assaulted never have daughters!”
when you left the gym, you had your head held high, but by the time you reached your shared apartment…reality hit hard. you were unemployed, with bills stacking up and a sense of failure settling in the pit of your stomach.
jeongyeon and dahyun, your housemates, were already home; slumped on the couch after a long day of security work.
you all met in university and from then on, you’d been stuck together. of course, the degrees you had didn’t line up with your careers now, nonetheless, you were all happy.
you think.
jeongyeon had a beer in hand, while dahyun was half-asleep, scrolling through her phone.
“hey,” you said quietly, dropping your bag by the door before shutting the door behind you.
“rough day?” jeongyeon asked, looking you up and down; hair disheveled and a huge rbf plastered on your face. she had a way of reading your mood with unnerving accuracy.
“i got fired,” you admitted with a heavy sigh, flopping onto the armchair as you ran your fingers through your hair.
dahyun perked up, suddenly alive. “no way,” she added, nearly falling over her own alertness. “what happened?”
you recounted the whole story; the boring shift, the spoiled boxers in the showers and the creep —each detail bringing a mix of disbelief and amusement to their faces.
“that sounds like a bitch of a day, but you punched him?” jeongyeon asked, eyes wide. “damn, y/n. i mean, that’s kind of badass, but also not great.”
“i know,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “but he deserved it.”
“well, it’s not like you were planning to stay there forever,” dahyun offered, trying to sound optimistic. “but we should find you something soon. rent’s due soon.”
“hmm,” you frowned, thinking about all the bills you had to catch up on. soon enough, you wouldn’t be able to afford a bottle of soju. “yeah, that was really impulsive of me.”
jeongyeon’s face lit up suddenly. “actually, i might have something. it’s not what you’re used to, but it’s really decent money.”
you raised an eyebrow. “what is it?”
“a security job,” she explained. “it’s temporary, six months. i was supposed to take it, but i just got offered a permanent managerial role at my current gig, so i can’t do both.”
“what’s the catch?” you asked, sensing a hesitation in her voice. “i know you’d be taking it if it was really good money.”
“it’s not a typical security job,” jeongyeon admitted. “you’d be a personal bodyguard, and i can’t do that shit, y’know? the background check is really tedious but i’d do it for the money.”
“okay, shut up,” dahyun leaned forward, intrigued. “who is this for?”
“minatozaki sana,” jeongyeon said, her tone dropping to a whisper, as if saying the name too loudly would summon the heiress herself.
you blinked, unsure if you heard correctly. “wait…the minatozaki sana? heiress sana?”
“yep,” jeongyeon confirmed, taking a sip of her beer. “the nepo baby herself. her old guard retired, and they need a temporary bodyguard ‘cause she can’t keep one for more than a year. i know it sounds crazy, but the pay is amazing, and it’s only for six months.”
the minatozaki family was a powerful family in asia; they had their names on everything — from the phones you use to the planes that you ride. they were the definition of old money; an empire of wealth and influence that seemed to operate on a different form of existence.
“you’re talking about the same sana who’s always on magazine covers, right?” dahyun added, her eyes wide with disbelief. “the one who throws tantrums over the wrong brand of mineral water?”
“and insists on separate dishes for every meal course,” jeongyeon nodded. “yeah, that’s her.”
you felt a mix of intrigue and apprehension. you’d read about sana in passing, her life a blur of extravagant parties, expensive vacations, and notorious diva behavior. she was everything you weren’t: loud, glamorous, and perpetually in the spotlight.
meanwhile, you preferred the quiet solace of modest living, your life small but safe.
“are you sure about this?” you asked, trying to gauge jeongyeon’s seriousness. “are you going to refer me instead?”
“as sure as i can be,” she replied. “i mean, it’s not ideal, but it’s a job. and who knows? maybe it won’t be as bad as it sounds, plus, they would probably want someone like you.”
“or maybe she’ll drive you insane within a week,” dahyun said, half-joking. “either way, it’ll make for some interesting stories.”
the weight of your decision was pressing down on you. you were hesitant, but with rent looming and no other prospects, you found yourself nodding. “okay. i’ll do it. for six months, that’s it.”
jeongyeon pursed her lips, nodding along. “six months and that’s it.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the minatozaki mansion loomed ahead, all marble pillars and glass windows, like something out of a luxury real estate magazine.
as you slowly walked up the driveway, a sense of unease settled in.
this was a world you’d never been a part of, and you felt distinctly out of place in your borrowed suit, the fabric slightly too stiff, the collar too tight.
“miss minatozaki awaits you,” a uniformed maid opened the door and led you through a maze of hallways, each more opulent than the last. no one seemed interested in talking to each other - their heads kept low.
finally, you were brought to a sunlit lounge, where minatozaki sana herself lounged on an oversized chaise, scrolling through her phone. she looked up as you entered, her expression one of bored curiosity.
“so, you’re the new bodyguard?” she asked, voice lilting and slightly mocking. her accent was a blend of japanese and english, perfectly polished.
“yes, ma’am,” you replied stiffly, feeling the heat of her gaze.
she waved a hand dismissively. “don’t call me that. it makes me sound old.”
“then…miss minatozaki?” you tried, unsure of the protocol.
“absolutely not,” she shook her head in disapproval.
“sana?”
“better,” she said, a smile tugging at her lips, but it wasn’t a kind smile; it was more like the satisfied grin of someone who had won an unspoken game.
as you stood there, you couldn’t help but think back to dahyun’s words. maybe she would drive you insane within a week. or maybe, you’d find a way to navigate this strange new world.
the first week was a whirlwind of adjustments — both to the demands of the job and the peculiarities of sana.
as it turned out, being the bodyguard to asia’s most notorious nepo baby wasn’t just about keeping her physically safe. it was about managing her whims, tolerating her tantrums, and, on occasion, playing peacekeeper between her and whoever happened to be on her bad side that day.
it hasn’t even been long and you were already learning the hard way that her life was filled with chaos — both the glamorous and the outright ridiculous kind. today’s chaos revolved around a botched spa appointment.
you were in the staff room, sipping a much-needed coffee, when hana, one of the housemaids, burst in — looking panicked.
“y/n, we need you!” she exclaimed, almost out of breath.
you set down your cup, already feeling a headache coming on. “what’s going on?”
“sana,” she said urgently. “the spa messed up her facial treatment, and she’s…not taking it well.”
you hurried to the spa room in the mansion, where the unmistakable sound of sana’s angry voice could be heard before you even reached the door.
“are you fucking kidding me?” she was already shouting at the terrified spa technician. “this is not the organic serum i use! how could you get it wrong?”
“i’m so sorry, miss minatozaki,” the technician stammered, looking like she wanted to disappear. “there must have been a mix-up —”
“no excuses!” she snapped, her face flushed with anger. “i demand to speak to the manager who set this appointment up!”
you stepped in quickly, your presence catching sana’s attention. “hey, what’s going on?”
“what’s going on?” she repeated, her voice sharp as she turned to you. “they used the wrong serum on my face, y/n! do you know what that means?”
“i understand,” you said calmly, moving between her and the trembling technician. “but let’s not make a scene. i’m sure we can fix this.”
“fix this?” she scoffed, crossing her arms dramatically. “my skin is everything! this could ruin my whole week.”
“it won’t,” you reassured her. “let’s have them redo it properly with the correct serum. no harm done.”
she glared at you for a moment, the silence deafening, as if deciding whether to keep throwing a fit or let you handle it.
finally, she sighed dramatically, waving her hand dismissively. “fine, but this better not happen again.”
the staff let out a collective sigh of relief as you guided sana back to the treatment chair, your calm presence diffusing the tension.
as you turned towards the door to give her privacy, you heard her huff, making you look back at her. “what’s the matter now?”
“where are you going?” she crossed her legs, leaning against the chair. “stay.”
you pursed your lips. “can i get my coffee at least?”
she shook her head and your jaw nearly dropped in disbelief. “i’ll order us one.”
later, as you both left the spa room, she turned to you with a small, begrudging smile. “you’re not bad at calming me down, you know.”
“just doing my job,” you replied, but there was a hint of amusement in your voice.
you were used to keeping a low profile, slipping in and out of situations unnoticed. however, in sana’s world, invisibility wasn’t an option. you were always under scrutiny, whether from sana herself, her overbearing manager, or the hovering entourage of stylists, assistants, and PR personnel.
on the surface, she was everything you expected her to be. she was loud, glamorous, and seemed to find amusement in the smallest inconveniences.
one afternoon, while being driven to a photoshoot, sana’s driver took a wrong turn. she rolled her eyes dramatically, sighed, and declared it to be “the worst day of her life.”
“i’ve had worst,” you sat quietly in the front seat, staring out the window. you had lived through truly bad days; the kind that left lasting imprints on your mind. this wasn’t one of them.
for her, you guessed, the scale was different. the world revolved around her, bending to her every demand and adjusting to her moods.
“what’s your problem?” she asked suddenly, breaking the silence. her eyes narrowed, a challenge in them.
you blinked, caught off guard. “what do you mean?”
“you’re too quiet most of the time,” she said, as if it were a flaw. “it’s creepy.”
you wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it, but you kept your composure. “i’m here to do my job, not to entertain you.”
“boring,” she replied, drawing out the word. “but at least you’re not as fake as the last one.”
not knowing how to respond to that, you simply let the conversation die out. this, you realised, was part of the game: sana testing boundaries, seeing how far she could push before you pushed back.
she was used to getting reactions, usually adoration or frustration — your indifference seemed to both confuse and intrigue her.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
by the end of week three, the initial awkwardness had given way to a strange kind of rhythm. you followed her to meetings, fashion shows and charity galas, always a step behind, always alert.
it was a bright monday morning and the mansion staff was already bustling to get sana’s breakfast ready. everything was going smoothly until someone made the unforgivable mistake of serving the wrong brand of mineral water.
“this isn’t evian!” she exclaimed, her voice echoing through the dining hall. she stared at the glass of water as if it were an insult. “who drinks this brand?”
the staff exchanged nervous glances, unsure of how to handle the sudden outburst. within moments, one of the maids, jisoo, hurried to find you.
“y/n-ssi, sana needs you in the dining room,” she said urgently.
“what’s it this time?” you asked, already half-knowing the answer.
“the wrong water brand,” she replied apologetically, bowing her head down.
you sighed but made your way to the dining room, where sana was sitting with her arms crossed, her breakfast untouched.
“what’s the problem?” you asked gently, keeping your tone steady.
“the problem,” she said with exaggerated patience, “is that they gave me the wrong water. how many times do i have to tell them that i only drink evian?”
“i’ll get them to bring the right one,” you said, trying not to smile at the absurdity. “just try to eat something in the meantime.”
she looked at you, her eyes narrowing. “you think this is funny?”
“a little,” you admitted. “but i get it. i wouldn’t want to drink bad water either.”
her lips twitched, as if she wanted to smile but was still too annoyed. “you’re impossible.”
“and you’re thirsty,” you shot back, already signaling for the staff to bring the evian out. “let’s fix that.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
most of the time, sana ignored you, lost in her world of luxury and fame. sometimes, in the quieter moments, like when she was waiting for a shoot to start, or when her hair was being styled, she would glance at you with a curious expression, as if trying to figure you out — and always, always made sure you were being looked after by the same staff with the same level of care.
“what do you do for fun?” she asked one afternoon, her voice sudden and clear.
“i read,” you answered, not seeing the harm in a little honesty.
she wrinkled her nose. “that’s it? no parties, no dating, nothing?”
“that’s it,” you confirmed. “i like books, sometimes i’ll binge a show or two.”
“how boring,” she said, but there was no malice in her voice this time — only mild amusement. “any girlfriends?”
“nope,” you answered, popping the ‘p’. “if i did, i wouldn’t be working for you 24/7, wouldn’t i?”
“wow, that’s really boring.”
you shrugged. “not everything has to be exciting.”
“but it should be,” she insisted, as if it were a fundamental truth. “life’s too short to be dull.”
you didn’t argue. after all, you knew she was partly right. she’d been raised in a world where everything was larger-than-life; where even the smallest moments were amplified, staged for the cameras and curated for maximum impact.
in contrast, your own life had been marked by quiet corners, long evenings with your friends and the occasional attempt at writing your own poetry, which you never let anyone read.
on the nights you returned home, dahyun and jeongyeon were eager to hear about your day. they had their own security stories to tell, mostly about rowdy bar patrons or obnoxious celebrity guests, but nothing quite as surreal as your new job.
“so, what’s she really like?” dahyun asked one evening, as she stirred a pot of ramen on the stove. “i mean, we know the public persona, but what’s behind all that?”
“more or less the same,” you said, leaning back in your chair. “she’s demanding, spoiled, and out of touch. though there are moments when she’s different.”
“different how?” jeongyeon chimed in, looking curious.
“it’s hard to explain,” you admitted. “it’s like she has these flashes of being real, but they’re gone as soon as they appear.”
jeongyeon grinned. “sounds like you’re getting to know her.”
“not really,” you said quickly. “i’m just observing.”
“sure,” dahyun teased, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “next thing we know, you’ll be taking selfies with her.”
“over my dead body,” you shot back, but you couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips.
meanwhile, sana continued to navigate her world of excess with ease, but there were cracks in the facade. sometimes, late at night, you would catch glimpses of vulnerability — when she thought no one was watching…except that you were.
one night, after a particularly grueling day of photoshoots and meetings, you found her sitting alone on a balcony, nursing a glass of champagne.
“you know, it’s not always fun being me,” she said, her voice unusually soft, her fingers grazing over the bottle of champagne in her hand.
you hesitated, unsure if she wanted a response or was simply venting.
“i may have it all, but what’s the point of it when no one wants to get close? this world is all about money and lasting impressions.
you had no words of comfort. you barely knew her beyond the surface, and yet, in that moment, you felt a pang of empathy. you wondered if she had ever truly been allowed to be herself, or if she had always been the carefully crafted image of minatozaki holdings’ heir apparent.
“i guess that’s why you have bodyguards,” you said eventually with a grin, trying to keep the mood light. “to protect you from all that.”
she turned to look at you, a small, tired smile on her lips. “maybe. or maybe it’s just to make me feel less alone.”
you weren’t sure what to say to that, so you simply stood there, a silent companion in the middle of a life that seemed to belong to someone else.
the next night, there was a high-profile art exhibit and sana was expected to make an appearance alongside other high-society figures. as you both arrived at the gallery, everything seemed to be going well, until sana noticed that her name was misspelled on the VIP list.
“are you kidding me?” she fumed, her voice dangerously low. “they misspelled my name. do they know who i am?”
the event coordinator tried to apologise, but sana was having none of it. “this is unacceptable. i can’t believe they’d be so careless.”
her stylist, jenna, now in full panic mode, hurried to find you standing at the back. “y/n, can you please handle this?”
you approached sana calmly, sensing the anger bubbling beneath her composed exterior. “sana, let’s not let this ruin the night. we can get it fixed quietly.”
“it’s not about fixing it,” she snapped, her frustration clear. “it’s about respect.”
“and you’ll get it,” you promised, your tone firm. “but the best way to show them who you are is to stay calm and let them correct their mistake.”
she glared at you, her anger giving way to something more vulnerable — hurt, perhaps, at being overlooked in a world that was supposed to revolve around her.
“fine,” she muttered, her shoulders relaxing slightly. “but only because you asked.”
later that night, as you escorted her out of the event, she looked up at you with a mix of gratitude and frustration.
“you’re too good at calming me down,” she said begrudgingly.
“someone has to be,” you teased gently, and for once, she laughed; a genuine, light-hearted sound that hinted at the girl underneath it all.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
days turned into two months and your dynamic with sana continued to evolve in unexpected ways. her diva-like antics had become more tolerable, even endearing at times. she still had moments of complete absurdity, like insisting on a private helicopter ride to a nearby island simply because she felt like having lunch there, but there were also nights when you’d find yourself sitting on her penthouse balcony, sharing quiet conversations under the stars.
“sana, here!” a photographer yelled as you opened the car door for her.
tonight’s event was a high-profile film premiere, and sana was one of the celebrity guests on the red carpet. everything had been meticulously planned — her outfit, her makeup, her entrance.
as soon as she stepped out of the car, a sudden gust of wind caught the edge of her dress, sending it fluttering up slightly.
“are you kidding me?” she muttered under her breath, trying to keep her composure as cameras flashed around her.
you were right behind her, keeping a close eye on her mood. you could tell that the minor mishap had thrown her off, and she was struggling to maintain her usual poise.
“it’s fine,” you whispered as you walked beside her. “no one noticed.”
“they definitely noticed,” she hissed back, her smile for the cameras clearly forced. “this is a disaster.”
“it’s just wind,” you reminded her softly. “you look stunning.”
“you’re just saying that,” she muttered, her voice a mix of annoyance and insecurity.
“no, i’m not,” you insisted, giving her a reassuring look. “you’re the most beautiful person here, wind or no wind.”
she glanced at you, and for a moment, the irritation faded. “you’re impossible.”
“you keep saying that,” you replied, your tone teasing.
she shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips despite her efforts to stay angry. “only because it’s true.”
changes in sana’s behaviour had become noticeable — and everyone knew it was your presence.
“where’s y/n?” sana asked one morning, her voice carrying through the hallways of her childhood residence. it had become a common question, asked whenever you weren’t within her immediate line of sight.
her assistants and staff had grown used to it, merely pointing her in your direction, a small smile tugging at their lips; there was no denying that she was a lot softer, more patient with you around.
“i think she went to grab a coffee with the night shift guys before they leave,” one of her managers responded. “how are you feeling?”
“oh,” she frowned, but quickly replaced it with a smile. “i’m feeling great today, i hope you all are too.”
“thank you, miss minatozaki.”
you had just returned from a quick break, a coffee cup in hand, when she spotted you walking into the kitchen. her face lit up, a small grin breaking through her usual poised expression.
“there you are,” she said, a hint of relief in her voice.
“did you need something?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“no,” she admitted, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush. “just…wanted to see you.”
you nodded, your heart skipping a beat. the walls between you were slowly crumbling, leaving room for something tender and unexpected.
it was a quiet afternoon at the minatozaki residence. sana had accidentally fallen asleep after a long day of back-to-back meetings, photoshoots, and a few tense exchanges with her father over business decisions. you had stayed by her side the whole time, making sure she was protected and reassured. now that she was resting, you found yourself with a rare moment of downtime.
you wandered into the staff room once again, feeling a bit out of place but also grateful for the sense of normalcy it offered. the room was simple and far removed from the extravagance of the rest of the mansion.
it was filled with a few worn couches, a small coffee table, and a kitchenette. it was also where the house staff gathered for breaks, catching up on each other’s lives away from the opulent chaos of the minatozaki household.
today, the usual group was there: hana and misaki, the long-time japanese housemaids; jisoo, the young korean maid who had joined only recently; and hyunwoo and takashi, two of the security guards who had worked at the estate for years.
they looked up when you entered, surprised but pleased to see you.
“y/n-ssi,” jisoo greeted with a warm smile, her accent familiar in its korean softness. “come, sit with us.”
“thanks,” you said, taking a seat beside hana, who immediately poured you a cup of tea from the thermos on the table.
“tough day?” hana asked, her voice gentle, her eyes full of sympathy.
you nodded, taking a sip of the tea. “you could say that. she’s exhausted.”
“no wonder,” misaki chimed in, shaking her head. “sana works harder than anyone gives her credit for.”
“true,” hyunwoo agreed, his expression serious. “people only see the glamorous side of her life. they don’t realise how demanding it all is.”
“but it’s different now,” takashi added, his tone thoughtful as he eyed you. “since you arrived, y/n-san. she was devastated when taehyuk retired.”
“different how?” you asked, genuinely curious.
“she’s softer,” jisoo said, a knowing smile playing at her lips. “more human, if that makes sense. she still has her tantrums, but it’s clear she’s trying to be…better. specially around you.”
you shifted uncomfortably, unsure how to respond. “i’m just doing my job.”
“it’s more than that,” misaki said with a gentle laugh. “sana isn’t just being professional with you. we’ve seen it. she’s happier when you’re around.”
“happier?” you echoed, feeling your heart skip a beat.
“yes,” hyunwoo confirmed. “it’s obvious to all of us. she looks for you in every room, always wants you nearby and is calmer when you’re there. she even listens to you and asks for your opinions, something she rarely does with anyone else.”
“and the way she watches you,” jisoo added with a teasing grin. “it’s like she’s in a romantic drama. sometimes, i wonder if i’ll walk in on a confession scene.”
the group chuckled at jisoo’s remark, but you felt a wave of emotion you couldn’t quite suppress. you had noticed these things too, the way sana’s eyes softened when she looked at you, the way she seemed to lean into your presence as if it brought her some kind of comfort.
“we’ve known sana since she was a child,” hana said quietly, her tone turning serious. “and i don’t think i’ve ever seen her this vulnerable before. she cares about you deeply, y/n.”
“it’s not just her,” takashi added, his voice low but sincere. “we all like having you here. you’ve brought a different energy to this place. one that’s been missing for a long time.”
“i don’t know if i’m doing the right thing,” you admitted, finally letting your own insecurities slip through. “sometimes, i think i’m just making things harder for her.”
“or maybe you’re the one making things easier,” jisoo said softly. “it’s clear she needs you, even if she doesn’t always say it.”
the room fell into a comfortable silence after that, the weight of unspoken truths hanging in the air. you were grateful for the staff’s warmth and honesty, even if it complicated your feelings further.
as you finished your tea, you felt a strange sense of belonging; a feeling you hadn’t expected to find in the mansion’s staff room. you weren’t just the hired help anymore, you were someone who mattered, not just to sana, but to the people who had cared for her all these years.
however, not all moments were sweet. the intensity of being in the public eye meant that danger often lurked around the corner, specially in the form of aggressive paparazzi. they were relentless, always waiting for an opportunity to capture the heiress in vulnerable moments.
one night, as you and sana were leaving a high-profile fashion event, a group of photographers closed in, their cameras flashing incessantly. the air was thick with shouts, and the energy was hostile; an unwelcome reminder of her reality.
“sana, over here!” one yelled, his voice sharp.
“how about a smile, princess?” another taunted, his tone mocking.
you instinctively positioned yourself between sana and the crowd, your body acting as a barrier. she clutched your arm, her grip tight, her usually confident demeanor wavering.
“back off,” you commanded firmly, trying to maintain a calm but authoritative presence.
“aww, look at this,” one of the paparazzi sneered, his camera focused on you. “the bodyguard’s playing hero now.”
his comment sparked laughter among the other photographers, and you felt a surge of anger rise within you. you had learned to tune out the taunts over the months, but something about the tone, about how he was reducing your efforts to a joke, struck a nerve.
“she doesn’t need you,” he continued, his grin malicious. “you’re just another expendable employee.”
you stepped closer, your voice low but full of controlled fury. “say that again, and we’ll see how expendable i really am.”
the crowd grew tense, sensing a confrontation, but your tone and stance made it clear that you were not to be trifled with. the photographer hesitated, his bravado faltering.
“come on, let’s go,” another paparazzo muttered, nudging him away. “this one’s not worth it.”
they backed off, but the tension lingered in the air, the aftermath of the encounter still palpable.
sana tugged at your sleeve gently, her voice shaky. “are you okay?”
“i’m fine,” you said, still glaring at the retreating photographers. “what about you?”
“i hate them,” she whispered, her face crumpling slightly as she let her guard down. “i hate how they always want a piece of me.”
her vulnerability hit you hard, and without thinking, you reached out to touch her arm gently. “i know. but i won’t let them hurt you. not while i’m here.”
she looked up at you, her eyes saying it all. it was one of the few times you’d seen her without her usual armour and the rawness of her emotion was both heartbreaking and intimate.
“thank you,” she said, her voice barely audible over the din of the still-chattering crowd. “for always being here.”
“always,” you promised, feeling a rush of warmth despite the chaos around you.
that night, back at her residence, sana was unusually quiet. she seemed lost in thought, her mind replaying the day’s events. you were about to head out home for the night shift guards to take over when she called your name softly.
“y/n?” you turned around, the impacts of today etched on your face.
“yeah?”
“you keep me going,” she smiled, voice really sincere this time. “i mean it.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the third month with sana marked a distinct shift in the atmosphere between you two. it was a subtle change at first — small glances lingering a bit longer, her voice softening when she spoke to you and an almost childlike curiosity about your life. it was as if she had decided that you were no longer just a bodyguard, but someone she could confide in.
one of those nights, she broke the silence with a surprising question.
“what’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever read?” she asked, her voice a mix of genuine curiosity and something softer.
you thought for a moment, trying to sift through the endless lines of poetry and philosophy you’d absorbed over the years. finally, you recited from memory, “i have waited for you for centuries. my arms were made to cradle only you. my lips were shaped to call only your name.”
sana was silent for a moment, her eyes wide. “that’s…beautiful.”
“it’s from a poem by pablo neruda,” you explained, feeling a bit self-conscious.
“you’re such a hopeless romantic,” she teased, but her tone was warm, almost tender.
“maybe,” you admitted. “but it’s just words, you know?”
“sometimes words are all we have,” she said quietly, her gaze distant.
the conversation lingered in your mind long after that night. there was a depth to sana that she rarely let anyone see, but she was beginning to let you in; piece by piece, word by word.
meanwhile, back at your shared apartment, jeongyeon and dahyun found endless amusement in the stories you brought home about sana’s escapades. they’d often sit around the small kitchen table, laughing over dinner.
“so, she really made you carry fifteen shopping bags all by yourself?” dahyun asked one night, her eyes wide with disbelief.
you nodded, trying to keep a straight face. “yup. and she didn’t even look back to check if i was struggling.”
jeongyeon snorted. “sounds like a real princess.”
“she is,” you admitted, though there was no bite in your words anymore, not after getting to see a soft side of her.
at the end of it all, sana wasn’t the stupid nepo baby you always thought she was. since you met, she has hosted five charity events, donated most of her earnings to at least ten different organisations and it wasn’t easy to outsmart her.
it was during one of these dinners that your other friends jihyo, momo and mina showed up unexpectedly with homemade food and cheap bottles of wine.
“you look…happier,” jihyo observed, a small smile playing on her lips. “is it the job?”
“maybe,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “it’s not as bad as i thought it would be.”
momo, who had a knack for teasing, leaned forward with a grin. “or maybe it’s the client?”
mina, quieter but no less curious, raised an eyebrow. “minatozaki sana, right? she’s pretty famous.”
“and pretty spoiled,” you added, but there was a hint of fondness in your voice that didn’t go unnoticed.
“oh my god, you like her,” jihyo exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with excitement. “you’ve got that look in your eyes!”
“i do not,” you protested weakly, but your friends weren’t convinced.
“yeah, right,” dahyun laughed. “you totally have a crush on her.”
jeongyeon poured a shot of soju into your glass, chuckling. “you should all hear the way she talks about sana — it’s like the heiress is glued to her hip. she does fourteen-hour shifts with her.”
“okay, fine,” you admitted reluctantly. “she’s… interesting. but it’s complicated.”
“of course it is,” mina said, her tone understanding. “complicated can be good.”
the truth was, you were genuinely enjoying the job, or at least, you were enjoying being around sana. the lines between professionalism and personal feelings had blurred, and you found yourself wanting to spend more time with her, not just out of duty but out of genuine interest.
one evening, as you were preparing to leave sana’s penthouse after a long day, she stopped you at the door with an unexpected request.
“i want to meet your friends,” she said, her tone unusually earnest.
you blinked, caught off guard. “why?”
she looked a bit embarrassed, which was rare for her. “i don’t know. i just want to know more about you. the real you.”
it was a surprising moment of vulnerability from someone who usually kept her walls firmly intact.
after a moment of hesitation, you agreed. “okay, but you should know, our house looks completely different to this.”
“even better,” she smiled.
a week later, you invited sana over for dinner at your apartment. your housemates freaked out, with dahyun saying “she can’t believe this shit” and jeongyeon yelling “our house will suffocate her”, she arrived a bit too early, dressed in obvious designer clothes (she tried to make it subtle) that seemed hilariously out of place in your modest home.
the living room fell into a stunned silence as you led sana inside. she handed you flowers and wine, a small, almost shy gesture that seemed completely at odds with her usual confident demeanor.
“hi?” jeongyeon said, her eyes wide. “it’s nice to meet you!”
“i thought it was time to meet y/n’s friends properly,” sana explained, her voice earnest. “i hope i’m not intruding.”
“not at all,” dahyun interrupted quickly, breaking the awkwardness with a smile. “we’re just surprised, that’s all.”
“a pleasant surprise,” jeongyeon added warmly, recovering from the initial shock. “welcome.”
“thank you,” sana said, her smile growing more genuine. “i brought wine, if that helps.”
“it always does,” you quipped, making everyone laugh.
as the evening progressed, sana was unexpectedly charming. she asked questions, listened attentively and made a real effort to get to know each of your friends. it was clear she was trying to fit in, and there was an endearing awkwardness about it — like she was stepping into a world she didn’t quite understand, but was determined to navigate anyway.
“so, y/n never told me you’re such a good cook,” sana said to dahyun as she tasted the jjigae. “this is amazing.”
“thanks,” dahyun replied, clearly pleased. “y/n’s usually in charge of burning the rice, so i have to take over.”
“i don’t burn the rice that often,” you protested, but your grin gave you away.
“oh, really?” sana teased, her eyes twinkling. “i’ll have to try your cooking next time, then.”
the table erupted in laughter, and you felt a warmth in your chest; one that came from seeing sana blend so naturally into your world.
moments later, jeongyeon leaned forward, her expression curious. “so sana, what’s it like being…well, you? all the glamour, the attention, the pressure?”
she thought for a moment, her expression turning serious. “honestly? it’s exhausting sometimes. but being here, with all of you, feels normal. and that’s something i don’t get often.”
the sincerity in her voice struck a chord with everyone, and the atmosphere softened even further.
“well, we’re glad you’re here,” dahyun said warmly. “you’re welcome anytime.”
“thank you,” sana smiled, her gaze drifting toward you. “i really appreciate it.”
as dinner wound down and the plates piled up, everyone started to get up to clear the table. sana, to everyone’s surprise, rolled up her sleeves and headed straight for the sink.
“what are you doing?” you asked, voice filled with genuine disbelief.
“helping with the dishes,” sana replied matter-of-factly. “is that okay?”
dahyun, who had been about to start washing, handed sana a dishcloth. “here, you can dry. but don’t tell anyone, or we’ll lose our reputations as the best dishwashers in seoul.”
she laughed, taking the cloth. “your secret’s safe with me.”
as they stood side by side at the sink, sana and dahyun exchanged stories; simple things about childhood, favourite foods and embarrassing moments. you watched from the living room, feeling a mix of admiration and affection as she genuinely tried to fit into the mundane domesticity of your world.
“she’s really trying, isn’t she?” jeongyeon whispered to you, her tone a mix of surprise and amusement.
“yeah,” you said softly, your eyes never leaving sana’s figure. “she is.”
and as you watched her, sleeves rolled up, drying dishes with a cheerful smile, you felt the hope you’d been suppressing slowly come back to life.
tonight was a quiet evening at her penthouse, the kind that was rare amidst the chaos of her schedule. she was sitting on the balcony, staring out at the city lights, a bottle of wine in hand. she had insisted on drinking straight from the bottle, much to the shock of her staff, but she sent them off, saying it was a “casual night.”
you joined her, taking a seat beside her on the wrought-iron chair. she offered you the bottle, a faint smile on her lips.
“want some?” she asked.
you hesitated, then took a small sip, surprised at how intimate the moment felt.
“i used to come out here a lot not too long ago,” she said suddenly, her voice softer than usual. “it was the only place where i could really think.”
“about what?” you asked, curious.
“everything,” she admitted, her gaze distant. “what it means to be me, about whether i even like who i am.”
“and do you?” you asked quietly, not sure if she’d want to answer.
“sometimes,” she said honestly. “but mostly, it feels like i’m just playing a role. being the perfect daughter, the perfect heiress…it’s exhausting.”
“you don’t have to be perfect,” you said gently. “not with me.”
she turned to look at you, her eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite identify. “you always say things like that,” she whispered. “and it scares me how much i want to believe you.”
the rawness of her confession left you momentarily speechless. you reached out, your hand resting on top of hers.
“i mean it,” you said sincerely. “you’re allowed to be real, sana. even if it’s messy.”
for a moment, she simply stared at you, her eyes shining with unshed tears. then, in a rare display of vulnerability, she squeezed your hand, holding onto it as if it was the only thing keeping her grounded.
it was a good night, one that almost felt normal; like you were two regular people.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
by the start of the fourth month, the line between you and sana had blurred in ways that neither of you acknowledged out loud. it wasn’t just that you had become accustomed to each other’s presence; there was a deeper pull, an unspoken connection that had grown stronger despite your best efforts to maintain a professional distance.
tonight was no exception. it was another high-profile fashion event for prada, filled with celebrities, influencers and models who glided through the room as if they owned the world.
you stood a few paces behind sana, keeping a watchful eye on the crowded room. she was in her element, surrounded by admirers, her confident smile perfectly polished. you tried to focus on your duties but it was hard not to be distracted by how striking she looked tonight — her black dress hugging her figure, her hair swept back elegantly, a diamond necklace catching the light with every turn of her head.
you were pulled from your thoughts when a blonde woman approached you, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. she was dressed in an expensive dress and exuded the kind of effortless confidence that could make anyone feel self-conscious.
“hey,” she said smoothly, her voice low and flirtatious. “you don’t seem like you’re here for the fashion.”
you offered a polite smile, trying to remain professional. “i’m working.”
“i figured,” she replied, stepping closer. “but even bodyguards deserve a little fun, don’t you think?”
you glanced over at sana instinctively, but she was engaged in conversation with a group of designers. for a moment, you hesitated, unsure of how to respond to the model’s advances without drawing unnecessary attention.
“i’m not really here for fun,” you said finally, keeping your tone light but firm.
“that’s a shame,” she teased, her eyes glinting. “because you seem like someone who could use a little distraction.”
before you could respond, you caught sight of sana’s gaze shifting toward you, her smile faltering for a split second as she noticed the exchange.
there was a flicker of something in her eyes.
you quickly excused yourself from the model’s advances and returned to your position behind sana. she didn’t say anything, but you could feel a subtle shift in her demeanour — her posture a bit more rigid, her laughter a bit forced.
“everything okay?” you asked quietly when there was a brief lull in the conversation.
“fine,” she replied shortly, not meeting your gaze.
you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed. the rest of the event dragged on, with sana becoming increasingly quiet, her usual spark dimming noticeably.
when the event finally ended and you both stepped into the back of the limousine, the silence was thick and uncomfortable. sana stared out the window, her expression closed off, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her dress.
you glanced at her, unsure of how to break the tension. “are you sure you’re okay?”
“why wouldn’t i be?” she asked, her voice clipped.
“you seem different,” you said, choosing your words carefully.
“just tired,” she muttered, still avoiding your eyes. “that’s all.”
the drive back to the penthouse was filled with an uneasy quiet, each passing second amplifying the unspoken tension between you. it was clear that something was bothering her, but you didn’t press further, respecting her space.
when you arrived at the penthouse, she stepped out of the car abruptly, her heels clicking sharply against the marble floor as she walked ahead without a word. you followed her inside, unsure of what to expect.
as soon as the door closed behind you, the tension in the room became almost suffocating. sana stopped in the middle of the living room, her back to you, her shoulders tense.
“was she pretty?” she asked suddenly, her voice laced with an unexpected bitterness.
“what?” you asked, confused.
“the model,” she clarified, turning to face you. “did you think she was pretty?”
her words caught you off guard. you weren’t sure how to respond.
“i wasn’t really paying attention,” you said honestly, your voice steady. “i was just doing my job.”
“right,” she said, her tone sarcastic. “because flirting is definitely part of your job description.”
“i wasn’t flirting,” you insisted, trying to keep your voice calm. “she was.”
“and you didn’t stop her,” she shot back, her eyes flashing with frustration.
you took a step closer, trying to bridge the distance between you. “sana, what’s really going on here?”
“what’s going on,” she said, her voice cracking slightly, “is that i hated seeing her talk to you. i hated seeing her try to get your attention.”
the admission hung in the air between you, charged with an intensity that neither of you could ignore.
“why?” you asked softly, taking another step closer.
“because,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “because i don’t want to share you with anyone else.”
her words were filled with a desperation that was impossible to misunderstand. she closed the remaining distance between you in a sudden, impulsive movement, her eyes wide and filled with a mix of fear and longing.
“sana…” you started, but she shook her head.
“no,” she said firmly, her hand reaching up to gently cup your cheek. “i need to know something.”
“what?” you asked, your voice low and filled with uncertainty.
“if you want this too,” she whispered, her thumb brushing against your skin. “because i can’t keep pretending that i don’t.”
her confession was raw, filled with months of suppressed desire and longing. you could feel the warmth of her touch, the intensity in her eyes, and the vulnerability in her voice.
“i do,” you admitted, your own voice thick with emotion. “i want this.”
there was a moment of hesitation, a pause filled with the weight of everything that had brought you to this point. then, in a rush of courage, she closed the gap between you, pressing her lips to yours in a kiss that was both tender and urgent.
what started as a tentative kiss soon turned into something more urgent, fueled by the months of unresolved tension. her lips were demanding, her touch insistent, and you found yourself giving in despite every rational thought screaming at you to stop. this was wrong: unprofessional, dangerous even — but it was also everything you hadn’t realised you’d been missing.
“sana —“
“don’t think,” she murmured against your skin, her fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. “just be here. with me.”
when you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other.
“i didn’t plan that,” she admitted, her voice a mix of relief and disbelief.
“i’m glad you did it anyway,” you whispered, your heart pounding.
she let out a shaky laugh, her fingers still tracing the curve of your jaw. “stay tonight,” she said softly, her eyes filled with hope.
“okay,” you agreed, your voice filled with certainty. that was the first of many nights.
little did you know, jeongyeon and dahyun were becoming suspicious. they noticed your late returns, the occasional dazed expression on your face, and the fact that you seemed more distracted than usual.
“you’re definitely hiding something,” jeongyeon said one evening, her tone half-accusing, half-amused.
“what’s going on, y/n?” dahyun pressed. “come on, you can tell us.”
“nothing’s going on,” you lied, a bit too quickly.
jeongyeon narrowed her eyes. “if it’s about sana, we already know she’s a handful. but if she’s causing you real trouble, we need to know.”
“it’s not like that,” you insisted, feeling the weight of your secret grow heavier. “it’s too complicated.”
and it was. the more you tried to keep your relationship with sana under wraps, the more tangled it became. the sneaking around, the hushed conversations, the stolen kisses — they all added up to a mess of feelings you hadn’t anticipated.
it was meant to be a routine public appearance for sana — just another glamorous event on her packed schedule. this time, it was a charity auction at one of seoul’s most upscale hotels, where wealthy socialites and influential business figures gathered to bid on overpriced art and sip vintage champagne.
you stood a few feet behind her, your gaze scanning the room with practiced caution. the past few months had sharpened your instincts; you were constantly on alert, even when sana’s attention was elsewhere.
sana, for her part, was in her element, dressed in a backless red gown that turned heads as she moved through the crowd. she was charming and magnetic, playing her role to perfection. she even shot you a few mischievous glances, as if enjoying the private joke of your secret closeness amidst all the extravagance.
then, out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a man approaching: his movements too quick, too direct. before you could react, he lunged toward sana, his voice an incoherent mix of anger and desperation.
“you think no one can have you?” he yelled, his eyes wild. “if i can’t have you then no one can!”
instinct took over. you stepped forward, positioning yourself between the man and sana, your body acting as a shield. his fist swung wildly, and before you could fully brace for it, his knuckles connected with your face. pain exploded across your nose, and you stumbled back, your vision blurring momentarily.
“y/n!” sana’s scream cut through the chaos, high-pitched and terrified.
you quickly recovered, holding your ground as security personnel rushed in to restrain the man. your nose throbbed, and when you touched it, you felt the warm, sticky wetness of blood.
“are you okay?” her voice was frantic as she reached you, her hands trembling as they hovered near your face.
“i’m fine,” you managed to say, though the pain was sharp and your pride was bruised. “just a scratch.”
“that’s not a scratch,” she snapped, her voice full of uncharacteristic worry. “you’re bleeding. we need to get you checked.”
“it’s nothing serious,” you insisted, trying to play it down, but the look on her face was one of genuine panic.
“i’m not taking no for an answer,” she said firmly, her hand gripping your arm. “you’re taking a week off. and that’s final.”
before you could argue, she was already barking orders to her assistant to arrange for medical help and a car back to your residence. her concern was startling; it wasn’t the spoiled diva you’d grown used to, but someone genuinely rattled by your injury.
after you got the clearance from a site medic, sana immediately jumped into the car with you — face still etched with worry.
“you were bleeding,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. she reached out, her fingers brushing your cheek with a tenderness that caught you off guard. “i was scared.”
“it’s not that bad,” you insisted, smiling at her as you looked down on the blood all over your collar.
“this is all my fault,” she muttered, her voice filled with guilt. “if i hadn’t gone out —”
“no,” you interrupted firmly, grabbing her hand. “this isn’t your fault. it’s just part of the job.”
before she could respond, one of her managers turned to look at you both, looking frazzled and concerned. “sana, we have to leave in a different car now. there’s an urgent board meeting you can’t miss. it’s already started.”
sana’s face shifted from worry to irritation, her eyes blazing with frustration. “i’m not leaving y/n like this.”
“but sana —” junwoo began, his tone urgent.
“i don’t care,” she snapped, her voice carrying an edge you rarely heard. “she’s hurt. i’m not just abandoning her.”
you squeezed her hand, trying to stay calm despite the pain and the intensity of the moment. “sana, you have to go. this meeting is important.”
“you’re more important,” she said firmly, her eyes never leaving yours.
“i’ll be okay,” you reassured her, your voice soft but steady. “i promise. i’ll get patched up and meet you at the residence or the penthouse later.”
she hesitated, clearly torn between her duty and her concern for you. “but what if you need me? what if something happens?”
“nothing’s going to happen,” you said, your grip on her hand tightening. “you have to go. they need you right now.”
her eyes filled with tears, her jaw set in a mixture of stubbornness and helplessness. “i don’t want to leave you.”
“i know,” you whispered. “but i need you to go, please?”
for a long moment, she just stared at you, her face a mask of conflicting emotions. then, with a shaky breath, she nodded. “fine, but promise me you’ll message me later. i want to see for myself that you’re okay.”
“i promise,” you said, trying to inject confidence into your voice despite the pain.
she leaned forward suddenly, pressing a quick, desperate kiss to your forehead as a sleek silver car parked next to the one you were in. “i’ll be back as soon as i can, see you, baby!”
you waved at her, the throbbing pain spread out all over your face being replaced by your skipping heart beat. baby. you could get used to it.
half an hour later, back at your apartment, jeongyeon and dahyun were waiting with ice packs and a bottle of whiskey — ready to commiserate.
dahyun immediately clicked into nurse mode, cleaning your cut while jeongyeon shook her head, half-amused and half-worried.
“you really took one for the team, huh?” jeongyeon teased, though her eyes were soft with concern.
“it was my job,” you said, wincing as dahyun applied pressure to stop the bleeding.
“well, she better appreciate it,” mina muttered. “because that guy landed a pretty solid punch with his rings on too.”
you were trying to downplay the whole incident, but a knock at the door interrupted your attempts at nonchalance. it was unexpected, no one ever dropped by unannounced.
you shared a confused glance with your roommates before jeongyeon went to open the door.
“what the —” jeongyeon’s surprised voice echoed from the entryway.
when you peeked around the corner, you saw sana standing there, holding an enormous gift basket filled with flowers, chocolates, and other expensive-looking items. behind her stood tzuyu, chaeyoung, and nayeon, each carrying bags of what looked like more gifts.
“we’re here to see y/n,” sana announced, her tone a strange mix of confidence and nervousness.
you froze. this was the last thing you’d expected — not just sana’s sudden appearance, but the fact that she’d brought her high-society friends to your modest apartment.
“uh, come in, i guess,” jeongyeon said awkwardly, stepping aside to let them in.
as soon as sana saw you, her expression softened. she rushed over, setting the basket on the table before gently cupping your face, inspecting the damage.
“are you okay?” she asked, her voice low and filled with concern. “i only showed up to the meeting to sign papers and then left.”
“it’s just a bruise,” you reassured her, feeling self-conscious under everyone’s gaze. “you didn’t have to come here straight away.”
“yes, i did,” she insisted. “and i brought reinforcements,” she gestured toward tzuyu, chaeyoung and nayeon, who were now trying to make themselves comfortable amidst the clutter of your shared living space.
“we heard y/n got hurt,” tzuyu said simply, her usually aloof expression softening.
“yeah, and sana was freaking out,” nayeon added with a grin, nudging sana’s shoulder playfully. “she made us come along to make sure she wasn’t exaggerating, and of course, to carry her bags around.”
chaeyoung, meanwhile, looked around with interest. “this place is cozy. it’s a lot more…real than i expected.”
“thanks, i think,” dahyun said, still processing the fact that she was suddenly hosting four of asia’s wealthiest heirs in her living room. “so, uh, anyone want some ramen?”
“we brought food,” sana interjected quickly, motioning to the bags her friends had carried in. “i figured you wouldn’t want to cook after everything.”
before long, the table was filled with takeout boxes, a mix of high-end sushi, tempura and even a few bottles of sake. the atmosphere gradually eased into a strange, unexpected bond.
tzuyu, chaeyoung, and nayeon proved to be surprisingly down-to-earth despite what the tabloids say, laughing at jeongyeon and dahyun’s stories about dealing with unruly celebrities and bar crowd.
“not gonna lie,” tzuyu said, looking around playfully. “i’ve been one of those uncontrollable patrons.”
“oh, you have,” dahyun smirked, crossing her arms. “met gala, last year, vomit.”
“oh my god,” she put a hand over her mouth with careful exaggeration. “no way, it was you?”
“you sure as hell are lucky it wasn’t jeongyeon!”
throughout dinner, sana stayed close to you —closer than she’d ever dared to in public. she held your hand under the table, her thumb absentmindedly tracing circles on your skin. she even pressed a soft kiss to your forehead at one point, eliciting a few curious glances from your friends, who pretended not to notice.
“so, y/n,” nayeon began, a sly smile on her face. “how’s it been, working with sana? she’s not too much of a diva, is she?”
“she’s been fine,” you answered diplomatically, though the warmth in your voice was hard to miss.
“fine?” sana echoed, pouting slightly. “is that all you have to say about me?”
“you’re okay, too,” you teased, a small smile tugging at your lips.
“wow, such high praise,” chaeyoung quipped, making everyone laugh.
beneath the humour, there was an unmistakable shift in the air. it was as if your secret had been revealed; acknowledged but not addressed.
everyone seemed to sense the connection between you and sana, but no one dared to bring it up directly.
after dinner, while everyone was chatting in the living room, jeongyeon pulled you aside into the kitchen. her expression was serious, her voice low.
“are you really okay, y/n?” she asked, searching your face.
“i am,” you said, though you knew she wasn’t just asking about the physical injury.
“you and sana, what’s going on there?” jeongyeon asked bluntly.
you hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. “it’s complicated.”
“no kidding,” she said dryly. “but seriously, y/n. you’re getting in deep with her. are you ready for that?”
you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “i don’t know. it’s not like i planned for any of this to happen.”
“i get that,” jeongyeon said, her voice softening. “but just be careful, okay? she’s got a lot more power in this situation than you do.”
you nodded, appreciating the concern. “i know. but right now, i think she’s worth it.”
jeongyeon didn’t say anything more, but the look in her eyes said enough. she was worried for you, not just because of the obvious risks but because she knew how easy it was for someone like sana to break your heart — intentionally or not.
back in the living room, sana caught your eye and gave you a questioning look. you offered a reassuring smile and she immediately relaxed, resuming her conversation with tzuyu.
it was a small moment, but it meant everything in the context of your complicated relationship.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
by the fifth month of working for sana, your relationship had settled into an unexpected rhythm — one that was equal parts professional obligation and genuine attachment. there were still the usual challenges: sana’s diva moments, sudden mood swings and the pressure of keeping up with her unpredictable schedule. but there were also the quiet moments; late-night conversations on the balcony, her head resting on your shoulder as you both gazed at the city lights below.
meeting sana’s parents, however, was a different kind of challenge altogether. it was a sunny saturday afternoon when you were summoned to the minatozaki family estate, an opulent mansion that dwarfed even the luxury of sana’s usual residence.
the invitation was a surprise, but you had no choice but to accept, sana’s mother was adamant about meeting “the employee who’s lasted the longest.”
“relax,” sana whispered as you both stepped out of the car. she looked stunning in a pastel pink dress, her hair pulled back in an elegant bun. “they’re not as intimidating as they seem.”
you doubted that, but you nodded anyway, keeping your expression neutral. inside, you were a bundle of nerves.
the meeting, to your surprise, went better than expected. mr. and mrs. minatozaki were polite, even warm. they asked you a series of questions — mostly about your background, how you found the job and your experience working with their daughter. you answered truthfully, though you kept your personal feelings well-hidden.
“we appreciate your dedication, y/n,” mrs. minatozaki said with a smile. she was a poised woman, with a sharp gaze that seemed to see through people. “sana has never kept a bodyguard for this long. she must trust you a great deal.”
you felt a strange sense of pride at the comment, even as you maintained your composure. “thank you, ma’am. i’m just doing my job.”
“well, whatever you’re doing, keep it up,” mr. minatozaki added. “we’ve seen a positive change in sana since you started.”
sana blushed slightly at that, her usual confidence replaced with a hint of vulnerability. you couldn’t help but glance at her, and she caught your eye with a soft smile — one that was meant only for you.
later that night, sana gave you the rare gift of a night off. you returned to your apartment, feeling a mix of relief and confusion. the validation from sana’s parents was unexpected, and it lingered in your mind as you walked through the door.
jeongyeon, dahyun, mina, momo, and jihyo were all gathered in the living room, a mix of snacks and drinks spread out on the coffee table. it was meant to be a casual girls’ night, but you knew from their curious expressions that they were eager for more details.
“so, how’d it go?” jihyo asked, as soon as you stepped inside.
“with the parents?” you asked, feigning nonchalance as you kicked off your shoes.
“yeah, obviously,” mina chimed in, her tone light but her eyes sharp. “we want to know everything.”
“it was fine,” you replied, plopping down on the couch beside momo. “they’re nice, surprisingly.”
“and?” momo prodded, grinning. “did they grill you? ask if you’re dating their daughter?”
“no,” you said quickly, though your cheeks felt warm. “it was just formal stuff…but i think they caught on.”
“boring,” mina teased, but her gaze was soft, clearly pleased that you hadn’t had a terrible time.
dahyun leaned forward, an amused glint in her eyes. “speaking of surprise meetings…did we tell you about how the heiresses showed up here last week?”
jihyo blinked, caught off guard. “wait, what? the four heiresses of the apocalypse?”
“oh yeah,” jeongyeon confirmed, laughing. “sana, tzuyu, chaeyoung, and nayeon came by. apparently, sana was worried about y/n’s pretty face.”
“they even brought gifts,” dahyun added, still looking mildly astonished. “for all of us.”
mina’s eyes widened. “wait, sana came here? and brought gifts? the world really is ending.”
“and she was super protective of y/n,” jeongyeon continued, smirking. “held her hand the whole time and even kissed her forehead.”
“whoa,” momo said, her jaw dropping theatrically. “y/n, you’ve got it bad.”
“it’s not like that,” you protested weakly, but the warmth in your chest betrayed you.
jihyo crossed her arms, looking unconvinced. “sounds pretty serious to me.”
“serious or not,” mina interjected gently, “you seem happy, y/n. we’re just worried, you know? she’s…a lot. like, powerful.”
you sighed, grateful for their concern but also conflicted. “i know she is. but it’s complicated, my contract’s about to end.”
“extend it you goof,” dahyun giggled. “you get paid whilst dating your boss? sounds pretty sweet to me.”
“we’re not dating!”
“yet,” mina sighed.
“yeah, yeah,” you groaned, grabbing a handful of skittles and shoving them into your mouth. “whatever you say.”
as the evening went on, the conversation shifted to lighter topics — gossip about work, updates on personal lives and reminiscing about old times.
the final weeks of your contract approached quickly, and the impending end of your time with sana hung over both of you like a dark cloud. there were still stolen moments, secret kisses in the back of cars, whispered confessions late at night yet the tension was growing. you hadn’t told her about your decision yet, but she seemed to sense that something was off.
one afternoon, you found yourself sitting beside sana in the mansion’s garden, the autumn air cool and crisp. she was unusually quiet, a distant look in her eyes as she gazed at the small koi pond.
you often caught yourself watching her, memorising the way she laughed, the way her eyes crinkled when she teased you, or the way she absentmindedly reached for your hand when she thought no one was looking. it was getting harder to keep your feelings hidden, but you knew that admitting your love would make leaving even more painful.
“you know, i used to come here a lot when i was a kid,” she said suddenly, her voice soft and tinged with nostalgia. “back when things were simpler. my mother would bring me here after her meetings. she’d always tell me that the koi fish represented strength and resilience.”
you watched her as she spoke, the sadness in her voice palpable. it was rare for her to share such personal memories and you felt honoured, even as it added to the weight in your chest.
“and sometimes,” she continued, a small, wistful smile tugging at her lips, “hana and misaki would sneak me sweets from the kitchen. they were always so kind to me, treating me like i was just one of their girls instead of…well, me.”
you tried to smile but your thoughts were elsewhere; focused on the fact that you didn’t belong in this world of koi ponds and lavish mansions. you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were simply a temporary fixture in her life.
“y/n?” sana’s voice broke through your thoughts, her tone laced with concern. “are you okay? you seem distant.”
you hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. “i’m fine, just a lot on my mind.”
she tilted her head, studying you with those piercing eyes that always seemed to see right through your defenses. “is it about us?”
“i don’t know where i stand in your life,” you admitted quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “and i’m not sure i belong here.”
“of course you belong here,” she said instantly, her voice filled with an urgency that startled you. “you’re important to me, y/n. more than you think.”
you turned to look at her, searching for any hint of doubt in her eyes, but all you saw was sincerity. “how important?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “i’m just your bodyguard.”
“you’re not just anything,” she insisted, reaching out to take your hand. “my love, you’ve become…so much more than that. you’re the person i look for in every room.”
her confession hit you hard, but instead of relief, it only deepened your internal conflict. “your life is too different from mine. you have everything — money, status, opportunities. i can’t compete with that, i have nothing to give.”
“i’m not asking you to compete,” she said, squeezing your hand tighter. “i’m asking you to stay.”
the raw vulnerability in her voice nearly broke your resolve. you wanted so desperately to say yes, to promise her a future that felt impossible. but the practical side of you, the side that had always been wary of hope — kept you grounded.
“it’s not that simple,” you said, your voice cracking. “what happens when i’m no longer part of this world? when your life goes on, and i’m just a memory?”
“i don’t want you to be a memory,” she said fiercely, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “i want you here. with me.”
the sincerity in her words shattered something inside you. it was everything you wanted to hear, but also everything that scared you the most.
“sana,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “i never meant to fall in love with you.”
your confession catches her off guard. “then why are you pushing me away?”
“because loving you feels too dangerous,” you admitted, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. “i’m terrified of what will happen if i stay.”
“then let’s be terrified together,” she said, her own tears finally breaking free. “we don’t have to figure everything out right now. please don’t give up on us before we even start. i’m in love with you, i’ve been in love with you from the beginning.”
her plea hung in the air, desperate, as the weight of your decision pressed down on you. staying meant risking everything: your heart, your future, your sense of self.
in that moment, with her hand holding yours and her eyes full of hope, the idea of leaving felt even more unbearable.
you couldn’t bring yourself to respond, not yet. instead, you squeezed her hand back, a silent acknowledgment of the love that had grown between you, even if it felt too fragile to last.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the decision not to renew your contract weighed on you like an impending storm. and as if to reinforce your decision, the universe seemed intent on reminding you of the vast gap between your reality and sana’s.
sana was used to being around the rich, the famous, and the powerful. her social circles included heirs, models, and celebrities — people who shared her lifestyle and effortlessly fit into her world.
you, on the other hand, often felt like an outsider peering in, a temporary presence among the permanent fixtures of her life.
one evening, at an exclusive charity gala, you found yourself in a large, glittering ballroom, filled with the one percent of the world. sana, dressed in a stunning emerald gown, was the center of attention as always.
standing beside her, you remained alert, your gaze trained on the crowd.
and then, there he was — one of sana’s suitors, a man who seemed perfectly tailored for her life. tall, impeccably dressed and oozing charisma, he approached with a confident smile.
“sana,” he greeted warmly, extending a hand. “it’s good to see you.”
“hello hiroshi,” she replied, her voice pleasant but distant. you noticed a flicker of discomfort in her eyes, but she masked it well.
hiroshi, the heir to a luxury conglomerate, was a familiar face at events like these. you’d heard whispers about him before; he was one of the many eligible bachelors rumoured to be pursuing sana.
“you look beautiful tonight,” hiroshi continued, his voice smooth.
“thank you,” she said politely, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. she glanced at you briefly, a silent reassurance that felt hollow amidst the glamour.
the evening dragged on, with more suitors and admirers approaching sana, each one embodying the wealth and prestige you couldn’t compete with. they all seemed so polished, so effortlessly at ease in her world.
every time she exchanged a polite smile or a charming laugh, you felt yourself pulling further away, retreating into your own insecurities.
then came the moment that felt like the final blow.
at another event a few weeks later, held at one of the city’s most exclusive clubs, you found yourself standing at a distance, watching sana from across the room. she was engaged in conversation with a group of old friends, including one you recognised immediately — her ex-boyfriend, jake.
he was a well-known musician, popular and adored by many. his easy charm and confident presence were evident as he chatted with sana, their laughter echoing above the hum of the party.
he was everything you weren’t — wealthy, famous, and someone who had once been deeply embedded in sana’s life.
the crowd seemed to love the idea of them together. cheers and playful shouts of encouragement rang out as someone raised a glass in their direction.
“come on, get back together!” someone yelled, and the room erupted in lighthearted agreement.
sana’s face flushed slightly, but she maintained her composure, laughing it off. “stop it,” she chided, her tone playful but firm.
you felt a sickening twist in your gut, watching her interact so effortlessly with jake. they looked good together.
you tried to tell yourself that it didn’t matter, that it was just an old relationship, but seeing them together made you painfully aware of how small you felt in her world.
“what a couple, huh?” a staff member mumbled to you.
“yeah, i guess,” you turned away, unable to watch any longer.
it was a reminder of why you’d made your decision: you didn’t belong here. you were just a temporary part of her life, someone who would eventually be replaced by someone like jake or hiroshi — someone who fit in.
later that night, as you both drove back to her residence, sana seemed unusually quiet. you could sense that she had noticed your change in mood, but you weren’t ready to talk about it.
not yet.
“y/n my love,” she finally said as you reached her front door, her voice hesitant. “are you okay? you’ve been distant all night.”
“i’m fine,” you lied, avoiding her gaze. “just tired.”
“is it…about jake?” she asked, her tone soft, as if afraid of your answer.
you hesitated, then shook your head. “it’s not just him. it’s everything, sana. all of this — your world, the people in it. it’s too different from mine.”
“but i don’t care about that,” she insisted, stepping closer. “i care about you.”
“and that’s exactly why i have to leave,” you said, your voice breaking. “i don’t want to be the one who holds you back, the one who can’t match up to the life you deserve.”
“you’re not holding me back,” she protested, tears welling up in her eyes. “you’re the only real thing in my life.”
“but i’ll always be just the bodyguard,” you said, your heart shattering with every word. “and you’ll always be the heiress.”
“you’re more than that,” she pleaded, grabbing your arm. “can’t you see that?”
“i can’t,” you whispered, your voice filled with pain. “because this will never work, not in the way you want it to.”
she stared at you, her expression a mix of desperation and heartbreak. “so, that’s it? you’ve already made up your mind?”
“yes,” you admitted, tears finally spilling down your cheeks. “i have.”
“so, when were you going to tell me?” she asked, voice cracking but her stare was cold.
“i was going to tell you,” you said quietly, your voice barely audible above the hum of the car engine. “i just didn’t know how.”
“didn’t know how?” she repeated, her tone turning sharp. “you were just going to disappear without even talking to me?”
“it’s not like that!”
“then what is it like?” she demanded, her eyes blazing with hurt and betrayal. “are you just like everyone else, y/n? were you using me this whole time?”
“no,” you said, feeling a surge of desperation. “you know that’s not true.”
“then why?” she asked, her voice breaking. “why are you leaving?”
“because i don’t belong in your world,” you said, your own voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “i’ve told you that over and over again.”
“i never cared about that,” she shouted, her face flushed with anger and tears. “i care about you, y/n. i’ve given you everything i have, and it still isn’t enough?”
“that’s not fair,” you shot back, feeling your own anger rise. “it’s not about what you’ve given me. it’s about what i can’t give you. you’ll always have to explain why you’re with someone like me.”
“i never asked you to be anything else!” she yelled, her voice breaking completely. “i just wanted you to stay.”
“and that’s what makes this so hard,” you said, tears finally spilling down your cheeks. “i love you, sana. but loving you isn’t enough to make this work.”
the car pulled up to the mansion, but neither of you moved to get out. the driver glanced nervously in the rearview mirror, unsure of what to do.
“get out,” sana said suddenly, her voice low but firm.
you hesitated, unsure if she meant it literally or figuratively. “sana —”
“get out,” she repeated, her voice rising. “we’re finishing this conversation inside.”
you both stepped out of the car, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. she stormed up the steps, her heels clicking loudly against the marble floor and you followed, feeling the impending doom settle in your chest.
as soon as you were inside the mansion, the argument erupted again.
“you’re a coward,” she spat, her voice echoing through the grand hall. “you’re just running away because it’s easier than staying.”
“it’s not about running away,” you said, struggling to keep your voice steady. “it’s about facing reality.”
“reality?” she laughed bitterly, her eyes wild with emotion. “the reality is that you’re too scared to take a chance on us.”
“because i know how this ends,” you said, your own voice rising now. “it ends with me being a burden in your life, a constant reminder of what doesn’t fit.”
“you’re not a burden!” she screamed, her face streaked with tears. “you’re the only one who’s ever made me feel like me, not just the heiress, not just the brand.”
the sound of footsteps approaching caught both of your attention, and you turned to see mr. and mrs. minatozaki standing at the top of the grand staircase, looking shocked and concerned.
“what’s going on here?” mrs. minatozaki asked, her voice filled with alarm.
“stay out of this, mother,” sana said, her voice raw. “this is between me and y/n.”
“sana,” her father tried to interject, his voice gentle. “we can talk about this calmly —”
“there’s nothing to talk about,” she cut him off, her eyes fixed on you. “y/n wants to leave. she doesn’t think she belongs here.”
“because i don’t,” you said quietly, your voice filled with an agonising finality. “i’ll never be able to give you the life you deserve.”
“what i deserve?” she repeated, her tone incredulous. “what i deserve is to be with someone who loves me enough to stay.”
“and what if that love isn’t enough?” you asked, your heart breaking as the words left your lips. “what if it only causes more pain?”
“then we face it together,” she said, her voice softening for the first time. “but you’ve already given up, you decided for us without even talking to me.”
the truth in her words was undeniable and it left you feeling exposed and helpless. you had given up; not because you didn’t love her, but because you were terrified of what loving her meant.
“i’m sorry,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face.
her expression hardened again, a mix of anger, heartbreak and resignation. “sorry isn’t enough.”
“i know,” you said, your voice barely audible.
she stared at you for a long moment, her chest heaving with suppressed sobs. then, with a coldness that felt like a final blow, she uttered the word that shattered everything between you.
“leave.”
“sana, please —”
“i said, leave,” she repeated, her voice empty now. “before i regret you.”
you didn’t move for a moment, unable to believe it was really ending like this but her eyes were dead serious and you knew there was no room for negotiation.
with a final look, you turned and walked toward the door, each step feeling like a nail in your heart. you could hear her sobs behind you, raw and uncontrollable, but you didn’t turn back.
it was for the better.
as the mansion doors closed behind you, the enormity of what you’d lost crashed over you like a wave. you had thought leaving would hurt less than staying, but now, as you stood on the steps of the life you could have had, you realised you had never been more wrong.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
it had been nearly two months since you left the minatozaki mansion, but the wounds felt as fresh as ever. you were still trying to move forward, but most days felt like you were just treading water, struggling to keep from sinking beneath the weight of your own heartbreak.
you had saved up enough money to pay for the next six months of rent and food, but there was no joy in the security it offered. it just felt like a countdown to more loneliness.
despite your efforts to stay away from news about sana, you couldn’t avoid the headlines completely.
she had been partying non-stop, her face appearing on every tabloid cover — smiling but empty-eyed, reckless but lost. there were photos of her stumbling out of clubs, surrounded by people who seemed more like shadows than friends. one image stood out in particular: sana, arm-in-arm with jake, her ex, looking disheveled and drained.
the caption suggested they were rekindling their romance, but you couldn’t bring yourself to believe it — or perhaps, you didn’t want to.
you tried to drown your sorrows in alcohol, spending most nights at a small bar nearby. it was dark and dingy, a stark contrast to the places you’d been with sana, but it felt fitting. the drinks were cheap, and the bartender never asked questions.
“are you okay?” jihyo asked one night when she found you slumped over your kitchen table, a half-empty bottle of whiskey beside you. her voice was full of worry, but you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.
“no,” you admitted, your voice hollow. “i’m not.”
“this isn’t like you, y/n,” she said, her eyes filled with concern. “you’re not the type to just give up.”
“maybe i am now,” you replied, taking another swig from the bottle. “maybe i never should’ve tried in the first place.”
jihyo reached out, her hand squeezing yours. “we’re here for you, okay? no matter what.”
their support felt distant, muted by the constant ache of missing sana. you knew your friends were worried; how you barely ate, how you showed up to gatherings disheveled and silent, a shadow of who you used to be.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
a few days later, when you were nursing a hangover from another lonely night at the bar, your phone rang. it was an unknown number, and you hesitated before answering.
“hello?”
“y/n?” a familiar voice asked, tentative but warm. it was mrs. minatozaki.
“yes, this is y/n,” you confirmed, surprised. “mrs. minatozaki?”
“i’m sorry to call you like this,” she began gently. “but my husband and i were hoping you could come to the mansion. there’s something we need to discuss with you.”
you felt a wave of apprehension, unsure of what to expect. but something in her tone; soft, almost pleading — made it impossible for you to say no.
“i’ll be there,” you agreed quietly.
the mansion felt as imposing as ever when you arrived, its grandeur a stark reminder of the world you had tried to leave behind. you were greeted by the familiar staff, who offered polite smiles before leading you to a cozy sitting room. mrs. minatozaki was already seated on a velvet armchair, her husband standing beside her with a solemn expression.
“thank you for coming, y/n,” mrs. minatozaki said warmly, gesturing for you to sit. “we know this isn’t easy for you.”
“what’s going on?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. “is it about sana?”
“yes,” mr. minatozaki replied, his tone serious but gentle. “she’s…not doing well. we’re very worried about her.”
“we thought she would eventually find a way to cope,” mrs. minatozaki added, her voice breaking slightly. “but it’s clear now that she’s just trying to numb the pain.”
you felt a stab of guilt, even though you knew it wasn’t entirely your fault. “i’m sorry,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “i didn’t mean to hurt her like this.”
“we know,” mr. minatozaki said softly. “and that’s why we wanted to talk to you.”
“sana has always been a passionate person,” mrs. minatozaki continued. “but she’s never loved anyone the way she loves you. we’ve seen her with past lovers — there was never this depth of feeling, never this kind of vulnerability.”
her words hit you hard, and you struggled to process them. “but i don’t fit into this world,” you said, your voice filled with insecurity. “i’m just —“
“and that’s exactly why we accept you,” mr. minatozaki said firmly. “you love our daughter for who she is, not for what she represents. we don’t care about the gossip or the opinions of others. we care about her happiness.”
“it’s true,” mrs. minatozaki added, her eyes filled with a quiet intensity. “we want you to know that you have our support completely.”
tears welled up in your eyes at their words, the acceptance and understanding you’d never thought you’d receive.
“thank you,” you whispered, overwhelmed. “i just…i don’t know if she’ll want me back.”
before they could respond, the sound of commotion erupted from the foyer. voices, urgent and alarmed, echoed through the mansion’s grand halls.
“what’s happening?” mrs. minatozaki asked, standing up abruptly.
a moment later, two security guards entered the room, struggling to support a barely-conscious sana. her makeup was smudged, her hair disheveled, and her eyes half-closed. she was clearly intoxicated, her legs barely able to hold her weight.
“sana!” mrs. minatozaki exclaimed, rushing over.
“we found her like this outside a club,” one of the guards explained apologetically. “she insisted on coming home.”
your heart broke at the sight of her, the reckless desperation evident in every inch of her being. without a second thought, you stepped forward.
“let me take care of her,” you said softly, moving to her side.
sana’s eyes fluttered open, but they were unfocused, clouded by alcohol and exhaustion. “y/n?” she slurred, her voice thick with confusion.
“it’s me,” you said gently, your hand brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “i’m here.”
“no, you’re not real,” she mumbled, her head lolling against your shoulder. “you’re just… another dream.”
“i’m real,” you insisted. “i promise, i’m real.”
her body went limp against you, and you struggled to support her weight. with help from the guards, you managed to get her upstairs and into her bedroom. she collapsed onto the bed, her breaths shallow and uneven.
you stayed by her side through the night, watching over her as she tossed and turned in her sleep. her face was flushed, her expression troubled even in unconsciousness. you couldn’t help but reach out, your fingers lightly tracing the back of her hand, hoping that somehow, your touch could offer her peace.
the next morning, sana stirred awake, her head pounding and her mouth dry. she squinted against the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, her vision slowly focusing. when she saw you sitting beside the bed, her eyes widened, a mix of shock and disbelief washing over her.
“y/n?” she asked, her voice hoarse and hesitant.
“hey,” you said softly, your heart aching at the vulnerability in her eyes. “how are you feeling?”
“like shit,” she admitted, her voice cracking. “but why…why are you here?”
“your parents called me,” you explained gently. “they were worried about you. i was worried too.”
sana’s eyes filled with tears, her shoulders shaking with the weight of everything she’d been holding back. “i thought i lost you,” she sobbed, burying her face in her hands. “i thought you were really gone.”
“i thought i was gone too,” you admitted, your own tears falling. “but i realised that leaving you hurt more than anything else.”
“you’re not just saying that because my mother asked you to come, are you?” she asked, her vulnerability laid bare.
“no,” you said, reaching out to take her hand. “i’m saying it because i love you. and i want to be with you — no matter what.”
her lips trembled as she tried to hold back more tears. “i want that, too.”
you took a deep breath, feeling the fear and hope collide within you. “if you still want me,” you said, your voice steady despite the tremble in your heart. “i want to try again. for real this time.”
sana’s sobs turned into laughter, a mix of relief and disbelief. “of course i want you,” she said, reaching for your hand. “i’m sorry, i’ve always wanted you.”
you pulled her into a tight embrace, feeling her body relax against yours. she buried her face in your neck, her breath warm against your skin.
“i’m sorry, too,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “for the photos, for being so reckless. none of it was true, i just wanted to forget.”
“i know,” you said, stroking her hair gently. “but we don’t have to forget. we just have to move forward.”
“together?” she asked, looking up at you with a mix of hope and fear.
“together,” you confirmed, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.
later that evening, as you lay tangled in each other’s arms, sana’s breathing slow and steady against your chest, you felt an overwhelming sense of relief. it wasn’t going to be easy but you were ready to face it.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the end.
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 2 months ago
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HI ILY!!! i was wondering if u could do a argument fic likeeeee katsuki and reader got into a argument and they are both DISTRAUGHT bc they’re so corny and in love and hate fighting but the argument was bad and they’re oh so sad whatever whatever !! and katsuki has to make it up to them EEE !! PLEASE I LIVE EAT SLEEP AND BREATHE UR FANFICS !! LOVE U CASHHH🤍
operation : trouble in paradise !
katsuki tries to get his boyfriend privileges back..
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EEEE TYSM AND I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS ASK !! Its my guilty pleasure like both parties hating to argue bc they love each other so much im so sorry that’s adorable. and again ty SOOO much !!! hope you enjoy, ive actually gotten a similar ask, so that one ill try to have that come out soon !
FEM READER, katsuki is melodramatic, argument, fluff fluff despite argument, 3rd year bk squad boys !, kissing, making up yipeee, reader likes flowers,lemme know if i missed sum else !
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“she fuckin’ hates me.”
for the past ten minutes he’d barged into kirishima’s room, bakugou has been moping. wallowing, even.
“no she doesn’t, man..” kirishima reassured. for the umpteenth time, he’s honestly lost count. he’d tried putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder earlier but said boy had shrugged him off angrily, grumbling out a dramatic “don’t touch me.” despite being flopped face down on his bed.
“i know her better, kirishima. yes she does.” the blonde insists, voice muffled by the redhead’s pillows. kirishima sighs, patting his friends leg before making his way to his office chair across from the bed, ignoring the muffled grumbles bakugou lets out.
“how bout you just..go apologize ?”
“i already told you i can’t. she—”
“yeah, she hates you. got it.” kirishima finishes his friends sentence, causing the blond to groan. “look dude, you’ll never know unless you try. you’ve been together for ages now.”
“a year.” katsuki corrects, he purposely forgets to mention he knows exactly how many months it has been too. kirishima nods excitedly, trying to get him out of his frankly sad state. “yeah ! so, this shouldn’t be anything man. arguments happen all the time, no matter how much you love each other.”
katsuki feels his ears burn at the word love on his friends lips, he’s told you he loved you of course. but it still felt weird to acknowledge it.
he turns just enough for his scowl to be visible to his friend, who sends him an encouraging smile.
“so what the fuck do i do then ?” kirishima grins wider, sharp teeth on display. “there we go, that’s more like ya, dude !” he exclaims. he quickly shuffles to grab a notepad strewn onto his messy desk (kirishima’s desk was so messy it made katsuki itch sometimes, a shiver almost passes through him whenever he sees the state it’s in)
kirishima drops onto the floor, placing the notepad onto his mattress and scribbling, with a pen katsuki has no idea where he fished out, a messy “operation: get your bf privileges back !!!!!!” bakugou fixes kirishima with a dead look, the other only tilts his head, still cheerful.
“what ?”
“what the fuck is this, kirishima.”
kirishima scoffs at the blonde’s dead tone, “listen man, you wanna win your girlfriend back or not ?!” bakugou squints at him, hard. but only let’s out a loud sigh. kirishima takes that as his answer and with a nod continues writing down notes.
katsuki groans to himself, looking down at his friend scribbling down his grand plan, and he better hope it works.
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maybe you should call him..
no, you won’t. it was his fault you were like this anyway.
..but maybe you went a bit too far..?
ugh. you groan, rolling around in your bed. you’d tried to distract yourself by going through your tiktok feed but it seemed the world was against you or your fbi agent hated your guts. your feed was either overly cutesy couples content that made you miss your angry blond, or break up videos that made you miss him even more.
ugh. you shove your head even harder in your pillows.
you’re really trying to hold your ground, because you want katsuki to know he’d hurt your feelings, but now that you think about it you don’t even remember what you’d argued about. it was petty for sure, you’re about 80% sure it was a petty argument.
maybe you should—
you shake your head, steeling your nerves. so what if it was a dumb argument ?! that didn’t mean he could get away with everything!
“uuuugh,” you groan out loud, you miss your katsuki.
a knock at your door startles you. it must be mina, you’d texted her earlier that you were mad at your boyfriend and she’d told you that she “excepted all the deets of what his dumbass did this time as SOON as i get back !!!!” and you were waiting, maybe venting about it could make you feel better and less dramatic.
you open your door expecting to see your overly excited best friend. but instead—
flowers, almost whacking you in the face you might add, are shoved in your face before you can get a word out. you squeak in shock, they’re pretty though, your favorites. and you know only one person who knows what your favorite flowers are.
“wh-katsuki ?!”
and there he is, red faced and angry. scowl on his face and bouquet of pretty flowers in hand.
you can’t tear your eyes away from him, he can’t keep his eyes in one spot—flying from you occasionally to your door to the flowers and repeat. he blinks, you blink.
“here.” he grunts, waving the flowers towards you. “f’r you.” he glances at you.
“o-oh !” you exclaim suddenly, whisking the flowers towards yourself. the bouquet is big, it’s definitely a bit bigger than your head. katsuki searches your face to gauge your reaction“i—uhm! thank you..” you utter shyly, katsuki grunts. he shoves his hands in his pockets the moment you’ve gripped the bouquet, kicking at something you can’t see on the floor.
your heart skips a beat. tentatively, you lean against the door “didn’t take you for a flower guy..”
he scoffs, kicking the toe of his sneakers against the floor “‘m not.. but you like these, right ?”
trick question. he knows you do, you mentioned in passing these were your favorites, unless you suddenly decided you didn’t like these anymore. then he’s fucked. but he decides to continue despite the worry growing in his lower belly, the plan was already a go now.
“i—uhm, listen..” your boyfriend fumbles, he throws his head back and groans when his words won’t come out right. you give him a tiny smile, his eyes soften just a bit.
“i fucked up, okay ?” he admits, scratching at his nape “shouldn’t have said all that shit to you, or whatever..” you can tell he’s beyond embarrassed. he’d melt if he could get any redder, he keeps scratching and won’t look at you for more than a few seconds at a time and katsuki who’s always the loudest in the room can barely manage a mumble. you know he means it though, he never did anything he didn’t feel like doing. you wait for him to continue and he looks at you then.
“i don’t ever like arguing with you. ever.” he insists “so jus..forgive me, kay ?” he finishes quietly. your heart jumps and leaps and you can’t stand acting cold anymore. you walk a bit closer to him, the flowers block you from fully being close to him.
katsuki’s eyes are wide as you lean in to kiss right next to his lips, you laugh at his bewildered expression and his eyes soften when he snaps out of it. he rolls his eyes, you smile wider.
“i forgive you, i’m sorry too. i don’t like arguing with you either..” you admit, katsuki reaches for your hand, you feel the tips of his fingers brush against your skin, you give it to him and he grips it tight. then he leans in and presses a kiss to your lips, it’s a sweet little apology kiss that turns a bit too passionate after a while, and you pull him towards you and into your room away from prying eyes. katsuki kicks the door shut behind him and pulls you closer by your waist.
“guess i gotta—thank shitty hair..” he mumbles in between kisses, “an’ i owe him twenty bucks.”
you make a noise against his lips and pull away, raising a brow and holding his shoulders when he tries to lean in to kiss you again. “what’s that mean ?”
your boyfriend huffs “told shitty hair i’d give him twenty bucks if his shitty plan worked.”
“plan, what plan ?” you ask, katsuki squints at you, a grumbling noise comes from his throat, almost a whine.
“yer really gonna make me spell it out aren’t you..” he mutter bitterly, shoving his head in your neck. he continues, “shitty hair helped me come up with a plan to make you not mad at me anymore. i told him it wouldn’t work, he said it would, and we bet on it.”
you laugh in disbelief, katsuki chomps at your neck to silence you, squeezes his arms tighter around your stomach to make you wheeze, but you can’t stop laughing. “that’s so cute !”
“shaddup.” he growls in response. you muffle your giggles in his shoulder. katsuki grumbles some more and you run your hands up and down his back.
“well then,” you hum, pressing a kiss to his nape, his arms around you tighten. “i guess we’ll both have to thank kiri then.”
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minglana · 1 year ago
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love it when my mom corrects me when i write to her in catalan
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blondedmuse · 11 months ago
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BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE (BEAUTIFUL PROBLEMS)
synopsis. ꩜ how felix comforts you.
author’s note. ∿ i wanted to write something (kind of) short and angsty so here’s this
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When Felix woke up his skin was cold, lacking the warmth your body gave him in the night, his arms holding onto the ghost of you. He lifted his body from his bed, his eyes in search of his room for any trace you you. He couldn’t find anything. He checked the room you were assigned when you first arrived at Saltburn and you weren’t there either—not that you used it anyways. So, he walked downstairs to the dining room assuming you were at the table eating breakfast. While everyone ate at approximately at the same time it was in Felix’s nature to be a little fashionably late.
His assumptions were correct as you sat for the meal, looking down at your food. It was when you looked up at him he noticed something innately wrong, unable to ignore how your eyes were tainted red as they flit around the room, unable to hold his gaze. You hadn’t said much other than please and thank you the entire time, ultimately excusing yourself early, the sound of your feet resounding throughout the house as you walked back upstairs.
“Is she okay?” Venetia subtly whispered to Felix and he shook his head with a shrug. “I don’t know,” He responded seriously. Elsbeth gave her son a look of concern, the green light that it was acceptable to excuse himself.
“If I may, I’m going to excuse myself to check on her.” His parents nodded and he followed the same way you went. He eventually traced you back to the bathroom that separated your two rooms, peeking in the door when he heard your figure slosh in the water of the bathtub.
“Can I come in?” He asked quietly and you nodded. Your knees were to your chest as you held a cigarette in your hand. Felix kneeled beside you, replacing the cig with his hand, putting it out on the ash tray beside the bath it seemed you brought with you. His thumb massaged your hand in silence as if it would magically ease whatever was devastating you—it didn’t, but it calmed the both of you to know that it helped.
“Do you want me to join you?” He mouthed, quieter than the previous question as you looked at him again. Still you didn’t say anything, only nodding as he reluctantly released your hand to remove the clothing from his body. You moved from your position momentarily to make room for him in the bath, sitting in his lap once he was submerged with you.
He didn’t push you to talk but there was something so concerning, persuasive about the look in his eyes you almost felt guilty for staying quiet. Felix would never intend to make you feel that way, there was just something about him that made you want to open your heart to him knowing that he’d keep it safe.
The thought alone made your eyes water like they had earlier that morning, the reason why you left him in bed alone. You rested your head on his chest as you cried, Felix’s arms around you, rubbing at your back as you did so. His head rested atop yours, cringing to himself each time he felt it shake from a sob.
“I’m right here, okay?” He mumbled into your hair. His statement made it seem like he was a few doors down or right next to you, but in truth his body was wrapped around yours, protecting you like a shield from anything that threatened to hurt you. He knew he couldn’t, but right now it was the best he could do.
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inside-lees-mind · 8 months ago
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hi could i rq. general konoha 11 + sand siblings nsfw hcs ! (aged up/boruto ver obv) <3
Also: nobody understands Uchihas better than I do and I don’t even like most of em. /j Why are they all practically evil in fics? I’m going crazy. Most of them are clearly softies when it comes to love. Am I right or am I right???
And sorry, you can tell who I have more ideas for and who I was drawing a blank on.
Oh and sorry yall for the gap in my writing. This one took a while. I’ve been working on it for a bit. And part of it got lost and deleted, so I rewrote it. A long with a couple other stories got deleted and I lost some motivation for a moment lol
Konoha 13 + Sand Siblings HCs
Naruto Uzumaki
He’s energetic, and that 100% applies to in bed too.
Likely inexperienced, but eager. And a little nervous.
Talked big game beforehand, but even if you didn’t know before, you definitely know it was all talk now.
That being said, he’s a quick learner, even if he complains about being confused at first.
I think he’d have like little to no knowledge though, being such a loner for a while, in all. Hope you have patience.
That being said, he is a bit of a pervert with what he does know.
Overall though, he’d set a fast pace, but the sex would still be intimate and soft.
Praise. Praise. Praise. Giving and receiving.
Sasuke Uchiha
No experience, but he knows the ins and outs.
He wasn’t too concerned with sex or anything of that matter before, but when he returned to Konoha, he realized he had feelings for you. So he starts to think about it.
He’s not a pervert like Kakashi or Naruto, and he’d never lose his cool over sexy jutsu, BUTTT he’s secretly horny as hell. Like low sex drive usually, but just being around you makes it sky rocket to abnormal levels.
He’s very private about sex though, so usually only happens in your bedroom or… cough cough in a quiet forest with nobody around cough cough (if you know, you know)
He’s got a breeding kink. Next question.
Uses a mix of degradation and praises.
Lots of demanding, but also lots of giving soooo…
I truly believe Sasuke would be a softer partner than people make him out to be. Like did yall watch Boruto or not?? He’s got awkward and sweet energy. He’s TRYING. He’s emotionally stunted yall.
More dominant and likes to be in control, but will fall apart in your arms anyways. Usually more of a soft dom than anything.
One of the most likely to be fairly kinky though. I think he’d slowly discover he’s into things as they occur or cross his mind.
Sakura Haruno
She knows a lot about the human body.
Might have experience, might not. I could see it either way.
I think your first time with her would happen after like a romantic dinner together. And it would be romantic and slow.
But… that depends on you, because she’ll mostly go with what you want. It makes her happy.
She’s okay with being degraded or praised, but she really only likes to praise you.
Low sex drive.
She likes any position she can see your face.
She’s a switch, depends on her partner’s preference.
Sai Yamanaka
(Obviously not married here but just to have a last name to add)
He read a book about what to do.
Probably does something incredibly stupid at first, but that being said, he’s not an idiot, so not too bad.
You’d probably have to correct him a little bit. Also, tell him to forget the book and just go with the feeling and follow your lead.
You’d be in the lead at first. Probably go down on him first thing.
He’s not small. (I mean did you hear the way he talked to Naruto? He’s probably got something to work with if he’s talking so confidently LMFAO)
So you’d probably have to use your hand for the base while your mouth sucks on about half or so of his cock.
His hand tangles in your hair/rests on top, not pulling, but resting there.
He throws his head back, letting out soft sighs and small moans that escape his lips. He’s not trying to be quiet, but he’s not loud either.
Although, he might have read girls don’t like when guys make noise. Who knows. Then you might have to tell him that’s not true.
At first, sex is just discovering things with him. You’re both exploring how everything feels.
But, after a few times, he starts taking the lead and initiating.
He has a low sex drive though, so he won’t initiate too often.
It’s also hard to get him to realize what you’re asking for if you drop hints. He saw your underwear when you bent over… okay. He might even comment on how you should be more careful since he knows you don’t like to expose yourself so much.
You just deadpan and tell him it was supposed to turn him on.
“Oh.” And now he’s unbuckling his pants and asking you to come sit on his lap. :)
Shikamaru Nara
Low sex drive, usually at least, because now he’s consumed by the desire to be rode by you. Like he dreams about it.
He calls you troublesome to himself when he wakes up hard in the morning occasionally.
He lowkey loves to just lay between your legs or have you sit on his face so he can eat you out (pussy or ass, don’t matter)
Lazy morning sex. He loves it.
He’s dominant, but he can be rather lazy most the time. That being said, he will fuck you how you want him to if you ask.
Degrading but he’s not super mean about it at all. More like soft grunts with degrading terms, but the rest of it comes out more like soft sighs and groans of pleasure and praise.
Choji Akimichi
The sweetest. He takes his time with you every time.
Body worship. More so giving than receiving, but he’ll be a blushing mess if you give back the same energy.
Praise. Lots of it.
He’d be the type to kiss down your body, from your lips to your neck to your chest all the way down til he gets between your legs.
He can’t bring himself to be rough or harsh with you in anyway. No degradation, rough sex, or anything.
Likes to be able to see your face during sex.
He’d like to try food play.
Ino Yamanaka
Pillow princess unless asked to do otherwise.
She loves to be praised and worshipped, but also likes things rougher.
She’s a bit of a brat about things. Constantly going against what you say for fun.
She does it on purpose so you’ll go rougher on her, she likes it.
She also likes when things are slow and romantic though.
And she’d love it if you planned like a candlelit dinner and put a trail of rose petals on like Valentine’s Day, or even just cuz.
Shino Aburame
He’s in charge. He’s on top. Whatever. He doesn’t like to not have control.
He also just wants to please you, and often he’s not too worried about himself.
Might get a little self conscious if you skip over touching him or giving him head more than once. Like if it’s been a few times now and you haven’t bothered… did he do something?
He doesn’t need it, but he just… you know how he is.
He doesn’t make much noise.
But I do believe that right before he cums, he whimpers. He can’t help it, and don’t bring it up afterwards. He’ll be so embarrassed and not want to do it for a while because he’s scared he’ll do it again.
If he gets like that, just tell him you loved it. Then go down on him and tell him you wanna make him do it again.
He’s good with his hands, I just know it.
He can go rough and be stern and demanding, but other than that, he’s rather vanilla.
He’s a big fan of missionary so he can see your face.
And he doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s in your own home or absolute private, like an inn.
Kiba Inuzuka
Hickeys.
He loves giving them.
You will have like 20. From your jaw to your thighs, he’s marked. Plenty of them are visible and hard to hide because they’re dark.
He doesn’t exactly take his time. No, those hickeys are from the entire act. He starts leaving them during foreplay, then when he’s pounding into you, he quiets himself down by latching onto your skin.
When he eats you out, he leaves bite marks and hickeys around your thighs.
He calls it “marking his territory” then has to explain himself because no he doesn’t mean you’re a territory, you’re not a place or an object… he just… you’re his partner!
He’s rough.
Likes doggystyle most, but then he gets upset that he can’t see your face and next time he sets up a mirror.
Quickies. He can’t wait. He’ll whine if you tell him NO he can’t fuck you under the blanket, because YES people will notice the movement.
You might want to settle and pull him into a bathroom and let him fuck you over the counter, but he won’t force or beg you to the point of you giving in or anything. He’ll wait if you really mean no.
He’s got a high sex drive
Very likely to be pretty kinky. He’d be willing to tie you up, spank you, degrade you, etc.
He won’t do pet play. Thinks that shit is weird. So don’t think that because he’s a dog user, he’s gonna act dog like or have you act dog like. In fact, he’s more likely to hate it as a dog user.
I think he’d find any roleplay to be useless though. You could convince him if you wanted, but he’ll complain.
Hinata Hyuga
Much more intimate and gentle sex is what she wants
She’s not a pillow princess. She literally fantasizes about pleasing her partner.
Like probably day dreams, gets lost in her own thoughts, then is a blushing mess when she realizes that somebody is talking to her and she’s imagining what your moans would sound like when she’s between your legs, ESPECIALLY if the person talking to her is you.
She likes to do it in private, but she can’t deny that she imagines doing it where you both currently are. Not that she would.
Secretly has a high sex drive
Long refractory period though. She needs breaks between rounds.
Neji Hyuga
Took him a while to get vulnerable enough to take off his clothes if he’s being honest
Also I think Hyuga’s are very reserved and conservative until marriage, but he has such a tough time following that.
He really wants to jump your bones. And it’s almost like the fact he can’t because of his clan’s reserved and traditional nature just makes it WAYYYY more tempting.
You’re literally irresistible to him
Secretly, he��s just a little bit of a pervert. (Like Rock Lee’s Ninja Pals says he is)
I think he would have wet dreams from sexual frustration. Like the longer he holds back from having you under him, the worse it gets. Like a disease with no treatment.
I think your first time with him would be sudden, and it would be his first time ever.
You’d look WAYYYYY to good, and this time he can’t bring himself to ignore the boner he gets. No he’s gotta see if you’ll indulge him.
He may stop and pull away, get his act together if you remind him of his clan’s pride, and how he was so bent on following it before.
Maybe the first time, but by the next time he tries to give in, there is no try. He is cancelling any plans y’all had and tearing the outfit that made your body look so irresistible off.
He doesn’t have a super high sex drive, but he has such a hard time resisting just laying you down when you look so damn good. You are the reason he’s horny.
He loves when you ride him, and he WILL whimper. He tries not to, but Neji can’t be silent with the way you are squeezing him. The way you do it is so perfect, every bounce is drawing a noise out of him until he’s literally just letting out a stream of loud whimpers as he cums.
I think his cum would actually taste good. Next question.
Rock Lee
Perverted…
He feels bad for it when he catches himself, but Oop it’s too late… he’s got a boner
Boners are obvious in that green spandex…
He wouldn’t agree with doing it in public or semi-public though, but if you noticed his behavior or boner and pulled him off into the bathroom, ignoring his “this is indecent!” Protests because when you look at him before diving in to give him head, his eyes are literally pleading and he shuts up, pushing his hips towards your face.
He can’t be quiet so you’ll have stuff something in his mouth or cover it with your hand.
He secretly wants your chest in his face. He’s a chest guy. Boobs, pecks, whatever. He loves everything chest.
But he also loves ass. Small or big. Wants to grab a handful anyways.
Total switch
Because listen, he loves to pin your hips down and force you to accept the pleasure you’re trying to deny yourself.
Loves to pound his hips against yours until you’re a mess, but he also loves to do as you say.
He loves to be broken down until he’s in pieces by your mouth, body, words, whatever.
He whimpers like constantly, especially when he’s submissive. He tries to shut up when he’s dirty talking as he’s in charge, but he lets GO otherwise.
Tenten
I’m sorry her portion of this will be… lacking. I don’t know enough to say much. I love her, but I’ve never really thought about this at all.
I think she’d be a switch, but prefers to be in charge.
I think she’s depend greatly on you though.
If you don’t want to bottom/sub, that’s good.
Or vise versa.
She likes to take her time when she’s in control.
She’s fairly willing to try new things if you want to.
She enjoys going down on you most of all.
Gaara of the Sand
He’s very private about everything. He believes that his private life and his kazekage life should stay relatively separate. However, it is known that you are his partner. That’s no secret.
He’s not super into PDA, so it’s no surprise that he refuses to do anything risky or public in anyway.
He will not do it in the kazekage’s office. He has too much respect for it, but he also doesn’t want to get caught anyways.
He’s very intimate during. Slow and sensual for sure.
I can see him being into bondage, but like you get tied up, not him. But… depends. And might take some encouragement.
Refuses to hurt or degrade you for any reason. He only does praise. He could not bring himself to call you names or anything. Or to draw blood from you or hit you, etc. he doesn’t see why those things should be brought into the bedroom for “fun.”
He doesn’t think they’re fun.
He knew like nothing about sex before you. I actually think he’d have no idea how to initiate at first so you definitely initiated it.
I think he’d be the type you have to teach what to do a bit, but he gets the hang of it quickly. Then next time, he’s got every spot memorized.
Awkward. Like the first couple times were awkward, but romantic and cute.
Kankuro of the Sand
One word: kinky.
He likes to degrade you with a shit eating grin on his face. His degradation feels like a compliment most of the time though. Like he calls you a slut and it feels like he’s calling you a prince/princess. It’s confusing.
He’s so good at dirty talk. He’ll have you writhing in your spot, desperate for him and he’s not even touched you yet.
He’s got incredible patience when it comes to you. He takes his time breaking you down into a mess for him.
His face paint would 10 billion percent be smeared across your thighs and chest. Your neck is purple from bites AND his face paint to the point you can’t tell which is which.
Only when you wash off the face paint do you realize he left way too many dark hickeys that’ll probably take at least a week to fade away.
Confront him about this and he’ll just laugh.
Don’t tempt him to leave more, because he will.
He forces you to maintain eye contact when he goes down on you. If you look away for more than like 3 seconds, he give you a little tap as a warning, but twice and he stops.
Orgasm denial for sure. He would be the type to make up an excuse as to why he pulled away. He tells you all sorts of excuses. “You weren’t moaning enough.” “You moved your hips too much. Stay still.” And of course, “you looked away.”
He can make you cum hard almost every single time. You see stars.
The most fun part for him isn’t dicking you down, it’s the breaking you apart and putting you back together again.
Temari of the Sand
Dominant. Dommy mommy for sure.
Even when she decides to “sub” or “bottom,” she’s not doing a good job at it. She’s still telling you what to do, where to move, etc.
She’ll pull your hair, slap you, etc. as long as you are okay with it and want her to.
Loves to boss you around, telling you what she wants. Demanding you to please her.
“Get on your knees”
Head pusher for sure, but you two have a like physical que to let each other know when it’s enough.
All that being said, sometimes she really really just wants sweet, slow sex. Intimate nights filled with nothing but love.
She likes to keep all of this private though. No public or risky stuff.
However, she does like to do it beyond just in bed.
Would be the type to start kissing all over your neck, unbuttoning your shirt while you’re trying to cook breakfast.
You might want to turn the stove off.
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