#so i can save up for my diagnosis fee

[groundlicker]

i want weed tomight but the one we got seems to be making everyone disgustang and paranoid but i want weeeeeed

[myteahunter]

Would it be cheeky to add a link in my menu leading to a fund raising page?

I live in the UK which means waiting lists just to visit a gender clinic BEFORE even getting gender affirming care can take 4-10 years (4 being what the doctor told me, 10 being what I'm informed is more realistic).

I don't really wanna wait that long just to be told "oh yeah that's gender dysphoria" to get treatment ._. but my only other option is to go private which is gunna cost me.

From what I been looking at a realistic sum I'll end up spending on that is £1000 which would include the sign up fee, the diagnosis for gender dysphoria and the follow up appointments to talk about that, and after that once they've told me "yep you need dude juice buddy! A good ol'stab of T!" I can then return to my normal GP and have them deal with it from there.

But it's saving up that much money in the first place I'm gunna struggle with >.> So thinking it could maybe help to make some kind of fundraiser or something as an optional thing folks can check out if they feel like dropping £1 in the pot or something.

But I feel like that's kinda cheeky or leechy and I wanted to check first that wouldn't be in any way rude or wrong?

[sassypotatoe1]

This will be long and it won't look relevant most of the time, but bear with me please because the exhaustion and annoyance and inconvenience you'll feel reading it will give you a good idea of just a fraction of the exhaustion and annoyance and inconvenience homeless people feel.

Look I'm autistic and adhd and queer and chronically ill and physically disabled and a little bit clinically insane and I'm pretty often on the brink of fucking up my life and ending up homeless and unemployed. I have to be 6 times more responsible and 6 times smarter about my money and what I do than anyone I've met so far. I have to live with bigoted and abusive parents because I can't afford housing and food, nevermind housing and food and medical care.

I'm saving every bit of money I can put aside so I can have a big enough deposit, to reduce the amount I would have to get through a loan, to be able to get food and meds after my monthly down-payment on the smallest and most run-down apartment in two entire towns. There's one, and no one is buying it because the entire thing is the size of a small hospital room, and the linoleum tiles are peeling off and the kitchen cabinets are rotten because the boiler is housed above them and probably sprung a leak at some point.

One decrepit apartment available in two entire towns that I can't even afford yet because I don't have a big enough deposit. And I refuse to rent because that would come out to be about 3 times the monthly down-payment on this one rotting apartment and around 70% of my income. I've checked. I've been checking for years. All over the country.

It would be more sustainable and cheaper to put my furniture in self-storage and pay the daily fee for a bed, shower and food at the homeless shelter. I'm lucky, I have psychiatric medication that makes me stable and helps me regulate my emotions, and I spent my entire 4 years at university going to the free on-campus psychologist weekly to build good coping mechanisms that still fail me frequently.

If I end up unemployed? I couldn't get my psychiatric medication without a process I would not have the funding or capacity or ability to go through, just so it would be covered by the state. I wouldn't qualify for unemployment insurance because my current job doesn't do that, even though it's illegal, and without a school-going child, a formal diagnosis for my disabilities that my psychiatrist refuses to give, or being over the age of 55, I don't qualify for any sort of social grant. Even if I did, it's 2k a month, which is around a third of any sort of rent anywhere in the country. What about food? My medication? Gas to get to the state hospital?

If I'm outed to my parents and they kick me out or the abuse ramps up and I'm in active mortal danger because I decided to speak up against their bigoted bullshit views? My car is still in their ownership, and I can't get my fucking horn fixed, which means I can't put the thing through the roadworthiness test to put it in my name. So I have to bite my tongue and hide myself until I get the car in my name so I can actually get around. But what about gas? If I become unemployed I definitely won't be able to afford gas. Nevermind housing, nevermind food, nevermind medication.

The constant fear of becoming homeless and untreated and unfed and unemployed in a climate where every company complains that no one wants to work but no company is actually hiring anyone that does is what keeps me in line, very much to the detriment of not only my mental health, but my physical health as well. Did you know too much cortisol in your system can cause brain damage? Gi issues, a weakened immune system, joint pain, heart problems? I already have a mitral valve prolapse imagine what the constant stress is doing to it. Imagine what would happen if I lose access to my heart medication.

Now that you've read all that, if I lost my mind just a bit, quit my job, outed myself to my parents and ended up homeless without a car and without medication because the fucking stress of it all pushed me over the edge, would you still hold it against me even though it ended up being my own actions and irresponsibility that landed me in a position I can't escape from?

Would you be okay if you had all this pressure, all this responsibility, all this terror constantly on your shoulders literally physically making you sicker? You wouldn't. A baggie of drugs that will help you cope with the everything of it all for a couple of hours is 5 times cheaper than a bed and meal at the homeless shelter. When you have nothing, little food, no access to any sort of supportive services without having to pay for it with money that you do not have, and your health is shit, and you're queer and disabled, begging on the street corner is a higher priority than the boil on your arm because you can't wash yourself in the gas station bathroom now that they keep it locked.

You'll steal too if you just want some fucking food and money to spend on a second hand jacket at the church second hand clothing sale, if the church doesn't chase you away at the door. You'll assault someone for taking your shit too if you have so little shit to speak of. You'll take a shit on the fire station's front steps too if they spray you down with a water canon while you're sleeping in winter because you smell and you "look bad".

You'll smash and grab people too if they cuss you out for "not just getting a job" when you require an address, access to high speed internet, a registered bank account and need to look good and be clean to be let in the door for your interview.

Even if a homeless person is the epitome of a shitty person, there is always a fucking reason, and if you think something a homeless person does is morally reprehensible when they're doing it to survive, then you've got some skewed morals. Because someone being homeless without anyone helping them get off the streets? Not a single person? That's the truly morally reprehensible thing.

And yes it's technically not your responsibility to help them, or to care, and yes it's incredibly difficult helping most homeless people become housed and employed, especially if they're addicted to drugs, and yes they steal and break things and assault each other and get in fights with the cops because they burned their leaky tent and all their belongings, and yes they're rude! You would be too in those circumstances! And yes they sometimes seem like they don't want to be helped, because they're hopeless, they don't know how they would ever get into a better standard of living.

Many of them went through rehab, went through programs to get them employed, went through trouble to get housing, and it all fell apart anyway because helping them on the first step and expecting them to be able to build a life from rubble on their own with minimum wage after that is not effective. And no one is willing to go through the next few steps, through helping them acquire furniture, teaching them how to budget, file taxes, apply for a loan, through getting them in therapy and on meds to help deal with the issues that caused addiction to substances in the first place.

And many homeless people have said it, and I work very closely with organizations in town thar deal with the homeless as a community journalist, and I talk to them a lot and they all say the same to me, but if you want to help a homeless person, give. Them. Fucking. Money. There are 70 feeding schemes in a town of 70 000, with a low-ball estimate of 500 homeless people. The community policing forum wants the feeding schemes to close up shop because they believe that the homeless population is too well-fed, leaving more money for drugs. We're a poor town, and we can manage to feed more than 500 people every day of the week for the whole year with less than 1% of the town donating to these feeding schemes. They don't need food from you as an individual. They need money for clothes. They need money for shelters. They need money for a shower and access to employment assistance. They need money for transport to clinics, to the library, to the stores or churches for work-appropriate clothes. Yes, they'll use money on drugs, but if they get enough money they'll be able to secure housing, food, clothes, internet access, a job, a steady income, healthcare, their own transport.

So give homeless people money, what they do with it is none of your business, and advocate with local government or national government if you can for universal basic income. Some or other American city recently ran an experiment with ubi, most of their homeless people secured housing, more than half secured a job, and it cost the city less to give them ubi than it would to subsidize shelters, feeding schemes and rehabs.

So anyway no person deserves to be homeless everyone deserves ubi fuck capitalism have empathy and compassion for homeless people even when they commit crimes even if they ended up in that position due to their own actions and give them money.

i really really hate liberals who do volunteering for orgs that help the homeless and then write thinkpieces about how a lot of homeless people are very educated and hardworking and its not at all their fault that theyre unhoused like. even if ur hypothetical homeless person is addicted to every drug abused their whoever commited many crimes and their situation is every bit their fault. no one deserves to live on the street.

[howmuchisalcoholrehab]

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[galacticwildfire]

Looking at your grades and realising the time to write your original novel and pray you find success is only running out by the day and becoming more necessary because fuck academia man

Slight rant below

A man who would hopefully be jailed in 2024 has a dream or produced drug fuelled thesis based on no evidence but his own perversions and it’s seen as fact, it holds the status of bible within its discipline, but I have an idea that slightly deviates and I’m a heathen

I mean fuck it, at this point I’d be better off devoting my time to writing five novels and praying one’s picked up rather than spending five years suffering through further study that I can’t afford and probably won’t get into at this point considering I had to drop a few units due to chronic illness and couldn’t get the penalty removed.

How the fuck am I meant to get documentation for bpd and pill induced permanent disassociation when they refuse to actually give me a paper diagnosis (because my doctors hate putting labels on things as much as my last situationship) but will still happily throw sedatives at me for it while telling me I have bpd but still refuse to give me documentation or a paper diagnosis.

Although considering I had a full ultrasound searching for pcos where they saw that my ovaries were covered in cysts, very clear pcos, and they didn’t even feel it was worth mentioning on the report I shouldn’t be shocked. How the actual fuck does a person who looks at ultrasounds for a living see the 14 follicles the technician pointed out on one ovary and write on the report that everything is normal. Cut to almost a year later and hormone testing told me yep, definitely pcos.

Thank god I have a new doctor now and am off those pills (Seroquel saved my life but also gave me a literal chemical lobotomy. I legit can’t remember shit and spend probably 80% of the day in a state of dererealisation and have worse comprehension skills than I did at 13). Not to mention the twenty kg weight fluctuations from going on and off it from 16-21.

As much as I dreamed of being a historian it looks like a masters ain’t gonna be happening with my gpa. I mean finding success in academia is just about as rare as finding success as a writer, at least this way I can save myself from going into even more debt because fuck Australia has some of the most expensive university fees in the world. And they decided to double the fees for humanities because “oh no, we need more people in agriculture and teaching” despite probably half of high school teachers doing a humanities degree and then a diploma of education.

With a bachelors I can still write history for public consumption I guess, non academic articles and all that along with books you’d find in public libraries, and considering academics absolutely fucking hate people in the public history sector I’m fine with that.

God it’s hard having always dreamed of going overseas and doing a masters degree and going into academia and then realising that the cost for living past the age of sixteen would be your intellectual capacity. I know I have brilliant ideas, and I can get them across in writing fiction, but academia would probably be the death of me.

At this point I’m seeing if I have the gpa to complete an honours, I have probably 8 months left on my bachelors without it. Considering I’ve written probably close to 300k words in the last year I’m aiming to get my own original manuscript done this year since they prefer beginner novelists to have between 80-100k for their first book. I’ve got a couple ideas but it’s time to decide on one and get it done. I’m debating between a sapphic tragedy and my own mythological story that would be part of an asoiaf like universe. I’m thinking the smaller project first since it would be a stand alone and to go from there. Turns out I also have 14k words worth of poetry when I compile them all into a doc so I’ll see what I can manage with that.

[apollosdrunkenmixup]

happy to go into more detail on message if you want but will cover some here.

after looking at various options for privately getting hrt i decided that gendergp would be best. there are other options but i think gendergp is a pretty common choice in the uk.

you use their website to book a consultation with them which allows them to give you a gender dysphoria diagnosis. (set up fee and consultation fee do cost some).

once you have the diagnosis they provide you with a recommended treatment plan every three months. this may change based on what you want (if you choose to start low dose then up it), and blood test results (which they want every three months).

side note on blood tests. i just asked my gp to get my drs surgery to do them. (although didnt actually get first one done till i was ~6months on T. whoops). now every time i go in i just ask the nurse to book me one for 3 months time at the end of the appointment. to get the results it’s easiest to get the NHS app as they upload the results on there.

once you have the treatment recommendation plan you have a couple of options. either you get gendergp to have a separate dr make your prescription then pay for the hrt outright (£68 per bottle of testogel that lasted about a month when i was doing it taht way).

or you ask your gp to prescribe based on the treatment plan (which from what i understand if basically up to their discretion? so may vary based on gp. i got lucky that my gp is a pretty chill dude, though face to face consultations have a couple month waitlist).

if your gp pescribes you then just pay the NHS pesription fee (about a tenner) each time you collect your medication. (my oesription upped so now every three months i get to go in and collect 5 testogel bottles for a tenner lol).

gendergp does have a £30/month subscription fee so they keep providing the treatment plans. but now i’m paying ~£100 every three months not every month because of the testosterone price so it’s less of a bother now.

the hardest bit paperwork wise for me was getting the blood tests and transferring over to gp prescribing. so it may be best to get that organised with your gp first. gendergp were pretty efficient.

i don’t know how old you are but if you happen to be <18 you are likely to have more problems. i know one girl who started oestrogen at 16 with parental support through gendergp (just over a year ago), but i’m fairly sure new gorverment bullshit has made it even harder for <18s to access hrt.

but yeah once you’ve got all the paperwork sorted and settled £400 per year for hrt is possible.

in the past year i’ve also managed the beurocratic bullshit of changing names legally. (deed poll not fully official version) and getting that info and gender change on driving licence and passport (deed pool as proof for driver licence. drivers licence as proof for passport). (have yet to work out gender recognition certificate and changing birth certificate though).

please feel free to ask any questions. if i can save anyone some of the faff i dealt with going in blind i will be glad.

I am for real when I say that hrt improves your life. Everything is easier, everything feels brighter, maybe it won't cure all your problems or depression, but if you're going to be depressed anyways why not do it with hrt? Instead of putting it off as a thing in your future, make the future now. Don't die waiting. Get your hrt.

[razrgrl]

Holiday Adventures: Adventure 3

Cici kept the dog outside and walk into the service center of a dealer I had never set foot into. A nice man with a bald head and red beard took my information and told me that it would be two weeks before his guys could even look at it. I made some "eek" noises but this man obviously had a lot of experience with freaked out people worried about their cars and kept his face emotionless.

"I'm sorry, but there is a 2-week line of people ahead of you. I can't do anything. I can get you a ride to a car rental place, but that's about all."

At this point, Cici had come in. Her strength was starting to crack. Gus was hugging the floor again. I was exhausted and we had missed lunch. We were an hour from home.

I decided that my new goal for the day was to just get home.

We unloaded all of our luggage from my treacherous car and I piled it all around Cici in the service center's lobby, handing her Gus' leash. Ten people stared at us. We did not meet any eyes. We just sat there and I waited for my ride to the rental place.

I am so grateful that this didn't happen on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve or something and that this was pretty much a normal day of business for most people.

I was taken in a lovely new Kia something or other that was -- you know -- working down the road several miles to an unimpressive Enterprise in an unimpressive neighborhood in Schenectady. I watched my ride disappear up the road and hoped these people had a car.

The guy in Enterprise popped right up and let me know that I could have, either, a Nissan Versa or a pickup truck.

I thought about all of the luggage piled around Cici and the dog and the rain sputtering down outside. I said a little prayer that it would hold everything and asked for the Versa.

I've rented Versas before. They are very, very little. My concern for the luggage was real.

He dug around in his pile of keys and said "Oh! Wait. We have Sentra."

Oh my God: I could have kissed him.

The Sentra smelled strongly of marijuana but I didn't say a thing. I was just so deeply grateful that the universe saved me from having to jam everything (and everyone) in a Versa.

I got back to the dealership and Cici and I loaded everything into the Sentra's generous trunk. The rest of the trip went without any drama. We got home 6 hours later than we planned and dived into a take-out pizza. I cracked open my bottle of Bourbon. The dog went to his crate and snuggled among his toys.

I spent the rest of the weekend googling my problem and seeing just deep a hole I was in.

I'm 95% sure that my deceitful car's problems will be covered by Kia's warrentee. There is a known issue with the transmissions that is just this side of an official recall. In the meantime, however, I am logging a ridiculous amount of money in car rental fees. I need to spend some serious time on the phone to figure out just how long I will have to wait for even a diagnosis of what is wrong with my traitorous car. Kia might cover my car rental (or, at least, part of it) but they won't even discuss the matter until we have an official diagnosis of the problem.

That's where I am now.

Stay tuned for Adventure 4 -- once I know how it turns out.

[redtagroofingau]

Red Tag Roofing: Masters in Leaking Roof Repairs Perth Residents Trust

A roof stands as a home's first line of defense, shielding it from nature's varying mood swings. Over time, however, even the sturdiest of roofs can face challenges. One of the most daunting problems homeowners in Perth encounter is roof leaks. While a leak might seem inconsequential initially, if left unchecked, it can lead to significant damage and hefty repair costs. Enter Red Tag Roofing, the undisputed experts in Leaking Roof Repairs Perth homeowners have come to rely upon. In this extensive post, we will delve into the world of roof leaks, why they occur, their consequences, and why Red Tag Roofing remains the go-to choice for residents of Perth when battling such roofing concerns.

Why Do Roofs Start Leaking?

Weathering: Natural wear and tear over time, especially due to extreme weather conditions.

Broken or Missing Shingles: These expose the underlayment, making it susceptible to leaks.

Improper Installation: If a roof isn't installed correctly, it becomes prone to leaks sooner than expected.

Age: Even the best roofs have a lifespan. Older roofs tend to leak more frequently.

Clogged Gutters: Blocked gutters can cause water to seep into the roof sheathing and then into the home.

Consequences of Ignoring a Leaking Roof

Structural Damage: Continuous water intrusion can compromise the structural integrity of the home, including the foundation, walls, and joists.

Mold and Mildew Growth: Damp conditions pave the way for mold and mildew, which can lead to health issues.

Higher Utility Bills: A leak can damage the insulation, causing heating and cooling systems to work harder.

Decreased Property Value: Visible water damage can considerably reduce the value of a property.

Red Tag Roofing: The Epitome of Excellence

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The Repair Process: A Glimpse into Red Tag Roofing’s Methodology

Inspection: A thorough examination to determine the extent of the damage and the cause of the leak.

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Recommendation: Offering a detailed plan of action, tailored to the specific problem and the homeowner's budget.

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A leaking roof can be more than just a minor annoyance. It's a clarion call signaling that the sanctuary called home is under threat. Addressing it promptly and effectively is crucial. For those in Perth, the answer lies with Red Tag Roofing. Their reputation in Leaking Roof Repairs Perth services remains unchallenged. So, the next time raindrops invade your living space, remember that the champions of roof repair are just a call away. Let your home remain the haven it was always meant to be with Red Tag Roofing.

[doberbutts]

in regard to accommodations from employers, what do you do when a potential employer says they’ll have to check with licensing/HR/etc about u as an employee having a service dog with u during work hours? i’ve run into this same problem several times now n been unfairly denied jobs because of “licensing” 🙄 i know the logical solution is Don’t Take That Job but a bitch needs money

Really depends what they mean by it. I'd ask for clarification first, because 'licensing' can mean a couple of different things and employers aren't always up to date on how they need to phrase negotiations (which they should be but w/e). I would, regardless, consider this a yellow flag moment and depending what they mean can be enough for me to look elsewhere.

In many places in the US, all dogs including service dogs must be licensed. This is usually tied to rabies vaccination, microchip, and proof of ownership. It is legal to require this if all dogs within a state are required to be licensed. Some states will waive the license fee or steeply discount it if you have proof that it's a service dog, and they will usually give you a special tag for this that stands out from regular dog license tags. This is not required (service dog tags vs regular dog tags) but is a good idea if you live in one of these areas and will usually save you some money. If your job is looking for this tag, it's not legal for them to require specifically the service dog tag.

They may also be looking for some form of doctor's note or proof of need. This is legal to require. Most will ask for a doctor's note but in some cases other proof is accepted. The note does not need to say your diagnosis and in fact I strongly encourage you to not let your doctor put your exact diagnosis on the note. Medical privacy is very important.

Other proof that can take the place of a doctor's note is proof of training in the form of an organization's certificate (note: an org that HELPED YOU TRAIN YOUR DOG or TRAINED YOUR DOG FOR YOU, *N O T* a 'service dog registry') or in video or handwritten training logs. Service dog registries are always a scam and their certificates are not worth the paper they're printed on. Do not let your new boss pressure you into 'registering' your service dog through one of these predatory scam companies.

If none of these satisfy what they consider a 'license', then they are either not educated on what is legal to require from a service dog team or they are willfully ignorant. A friend of mine has been going rounds with a small pet store company that refuses to let him use his service dog at work due to 'potential liability'- effectively they are afraid his dog may attack someone or someone's dog without ever having even met his dog. This is NOT LEGAL however many companies are banking on you either not knowing or not having the money to get a lawyer and fight it, and unfortunately my friend is in the second category.

So, ask for clarification, and if it's something I've mentioned is a legal expectation, then do your best to provide it. Otherwise, you may want to consider alternate employment.

[naejigo]

PLEASE REBLOG. PLEASE READ. PLEASE CONSIDER TO HELP.

I've been desperate before but phew, I sure hope you can help me through reblogging and more.

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (apparently the worst type of depression) and Anxiety disorder alongside ADHD. I went to my local public hospital for a cheaper price. I went secretly without my parents' knowledge because of a very offensive and ableist response the first time I reached out to them about it. I was a minor then but this year I turned 18 and could authorize for myself with the hospital's authorization.

The secret sessions were getting dangerous for fear my parents might find out. And being 18 in a conservative country where Adult ADHD is a myth, the treatments I was getting was borderline neglecting my needs because of how strong the stereotype about hyperactivity is despite ADHD being predominantly inattentive. So I stopped going.

I enrolled into the cheapest pre-university program a few months ago so I am not struggling with school money. Exam fee is quite expensive but my parents are covering that.

However the real problem is obviously my mental health. Here's the thing. My ADHD is severe. I need medication and proper treatments, I've reached out to a few other government hospitals and clinics but the results have been disappointing and some treatments were ableist and very troublesome. I also decided to tell my father about my diagnosis, he was the safer option than my mom. It was bad. He spoke to me as if I'm delusional. He said no genetic of his has ever had a mental illness. Told me to forget about it, but promised not to tell my mom, who 2 years ago reacted to me reaching out to see a therapist for anxiety by telling me I'm just distant from God. It's bad.

I'm only 18, and I can't get a part-time job, because 1) I've tried but my mom didn't allow me to 2) my pre-uni is a 1 ½ duration program with 5-6 special assignment that takes up all one entire semester, I have 3 semesters and 2 of it will be fitted with those assignments 3) my father wants me to help him full time with cabinets making, the thing is I can't do it often cuz of my chronic back pain so I can't get a job cuz of that too.

So. Phew. I'm fighting everyone to go to a private hospital instead to get treatments. However, my allowance can't cover even half the payment. I receive my allowance for about 50MYR a month, supposedly, although it's very indecisively given nowadays, maybe once every 2-3 months. I avoid eating in school to save up as much money as I could. I don't generally spend much for myself, mostly for my digital arts (new tablet, pencils, case, and keypad, simultaneously for school assignments too) because I'm investing to earn money through my arts.

To conclude, I am openly accepting as many commissions as I can get for the next three months until my 1st-semester finish before focusing on the special assignments and national exams.

I need around 400$-600$ (USD) to be able to get proper treatments, at least until I can self-organize my own medicine intake. And around 100$ to pay for a separate Language Exam that I'd rather my parents don't cover for reasons. I have severe parental trauma, it's gotten worse with how my parents have been lately, I'd rather be able to afford to be half financially capable for a while.

If you are able and willingly want to commission me, do message me, I will send my Term of Services and we can discuss your order.

My pieces ranges from 15$-55$ ONLY. I am begging you to help reblog this and help me in other ways you can. 🙏

Here are my recent, improved arts for reference!

You can also tip me on Ko-fi! Thank you for helping in anyway, thank you for reblogging.

[skidar]

This is gonna sound a little callous of me but please listen to my advice.

Please. For the love of all critters out there, do NOT get a pet if you cannot afford to take them to a vet.

I understand accidents happen, I understand unexpected diagnosis happen too. We had to take our dog in for a hyphema (blood behind the cornea) and she ending up four days in the ICU when they found an interior infection and ultimately she had to have her eye removed.

But... we took her to the vet when we saw something was wrong. They found what was really wrong and they were able to save her. it was expensive but luckily my folks were able to cover the cost for their dog. It was OVER my parents emergency budget for their dogs BUT at least they had that much covered so they weren’t sucked into a terrible financial hole.

Fast forward to this past spring when I found my parrot nearly unconscious one morning, our neighbor had been cleaning with heavy fumes next door and it had seeped through the vents. I had to rush her to the emergency vet and she spent the day in their ICU oxygen tank. It was nearly $500 from the moment I passed her off to them in the parking lot (no one inside due to covid) to when I picked her up. The vet saved her life, she didn’t have TIME for me to waste trying to crowd fund to go take her. Another few hours in my apartment she’d have been dead.

I had an emergency savings fund for her. I put a little from each paycheck in it every time and it was enough to get her the care she needed.

AFTER she was stable I was able to offer discounted commissions to help fill in the money BACK into the emergency savings account, but at least my baby was safe in recovery and not suffering and waiting. 

I see SO many go fund mes right now for animals in very obvious pain. They got bit, or broke their leg, or are visibly sick and the owner is like ‘well I just can’t take them to the vet at all because it costs X just to be seen.’

I’m really sorry to sound callous but you need to roll that into your budget BEFORE you ever get a pet. You need to have something set aside JUST for your baby so you can get them seen so they are not just waiting in pain getting worse while you try to crowd source a vet fund??

And again, say you DO have the cover fee to see the vet, and its gonna be an expensive treatment. At least you can start them getting healed while you help come up with funds. Loads of vets are willing to work with you on payment plans, they seriously don’t want to look at your suffering animal and say ‘well, you can’t afford it so go home I guess.’ But you need to TAKE THEM to a vet!!

I GET IT

When you move out things are scary and its hard and you’re lonely and you want a pet to comfort you but you really need to be able to care for them financially.

So please please please before you get a pet because you WANT/need one, think ‘if they are bleeding tonight, could I afford to get them help?’ If you know you can’t, then try try TRY to wait until you are more stable.

Need a dog fix? Local shelters are always looking for dog walkers, cat shelters often have programs to help keep adoptable kitties socialized too. Go tire our other people’s dogs at the local dog park they won’t mind!

Just try your best to be a good pet owner, it can be expensive but they deserve to be taken care of <3

[actualsunflower]

I have a huge life update to share rn--- My top surgery consultation is scheduled for July 5th!!!! I’M SO EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! I’ve also been vaccinated!! :D ANNNDDD MY LEGAL NAME AND SEX HAVE BEEN CHANGEDD!!!!! :DDDD kind of a lot has happened since I’ve been actually active around here But now I guess is the much harder part, my official surgery date will be set at the consultation, but there’s a required $1,000 fee to set the official date for my surgery. The $1,000 covers a portion of the surgery as well, and the base price for the surgery is $8,500. I’ll get the exact price on July 5th, but that’s their base rate. I need to earn or raise at least $1,000 of the total cost before July 5th to secure my surgery date!! I’m going to take commissions when I can, I have 1 almost entirely complete right now and then I can take on more! I’m gonna have a more detailed explanation of everything under the cut so this isnt super super long so pls read under there if you want all the deets Pls consider commissioning me or donating so I can get top surgery!! read more for more info and me being sappy abt my emotions--

I’ve waited so long for this and I’m fricken excited, it’s the last step in transitioning for me! It really means everything for me, I feel like I’ve been waiting forever and I can’t believe it’s finally happening !?!!! I am forever in everyones debt here and everywhere because I never wouldve even been able to start hrt if it wasn’t for the help here. I’m just so. Overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude I cant even tell how many times Ive cried and just felt like... actual gender euphoria since starting t..

So abt the appointment, I’m getting surgery with Dr. Javad Sajan, and I’m getting button hole double incision. Im serious his before and after pictures make me so emotional I am so happy and emotional for those people and I cannot wait to feel that kind of happiness and relief. But a big problem about this for me, is that he is in Seattle, and I live in southern Oregon. I can’t drive, so I have to rely on someone else, or take the train from a nearby city (Eugene). My consultation is over skype (which is amazing and a huge relief), but my pre-op appointment is in person, and of course so is the actual surgery. We’re planning on taking the train from Eugene because it seems to be the most reliable way to get there and back each time. Aside from my surgery, I’ve got to cover the price of the trip there and back (twice, once there and back for pre-op, once there and back post op,) and the price of a place to stay during the pre-op appointment. Right now my goal cost wise, is just the booking and base appointment price ($8,500, that’s including the $1,000 appointment setting deposit, which is just a part of the surgery cost and the base covers everything, surgery, the stay at the hospital, nips, anesthesia, everything). The full price is due at the pre-op appointment, and that’s the final bill. My insurance doesn’t cover anything because it’s out of state and county, and because its informed consent model. (which Im choosing because Id have to battle insurance for 2 years minimum if I was getting the surgery in Oregon, but I am very set on my surgeon after considering everything and calling many offices and looking through many subreddits and talking to ppl who’ve gotten it here and there) A lot of this information is on their site as well. As soon as I have my consultation, I will be right here to update everything and set the exact price, which I’ll also be including the price of transportation and staying there. As for paying, I’ve been applying to so many jobs, and even when I get interviews I never hear back from them. People keep telling me to stop admitting I’m disabled but I just can’t do that. Lying about being disabled doesnt make me abled and they don’t get that. I’m still trying though, and I am not going to stop trying until I get a job. But until then commissions and donations are my only source of income. I’ve been struggling getting help psychologically, because I have schizophrenia, and because I was diagnosed with adhd as a child, but I think I’m actually autistic rather than having adhd, and it’s been really hard trying to get diagnosed because I keep getting pushed off or told I cant have autism because I have paranoid schizophrenia or because its “just adhd”, but the medications are just making everything worse, and Ive tried more than one already. My medications for schizophrenia have started not working right, and when my schizophrenia meds get under control, it makes my adhd (?) significantly worse. Genuinely, I really dont know what’s happening. I really dont know whats going on with me right now and it’s hard and confusing and I keep swinging back and forth and it’s making everything deteriorate so fast I cant keep up with it. It seriously effects my ability to do anything at all, even art, and its been like this for the last 6 months. I am trying though, still trying to work, still trying to get a job, still trying to get a real diagnosis and help and Im not going to stop any of that. But I think getting top surgery as soon as possible is going to help me too, because dysphoria has just gotten so much worse focusing on my chest since t has started helping me pass and look so much more masculine. It’s like all my attention went from everything DIRECTLY to my chest and its almost unbearable. Even now since my sex has been legally changed I keep having the horrible thoughts of ‘why, why I am a man Im not supposed to be this way’ and shit idk. I’m getting too serious right now I have an appointment with the dmv to get a new updated driver’s permit with my name and fixed legal sex, and when I do that I can set up a bank account (I cant yet bcs I dont have a valid id/ id at all because I actually lost the other one and have been carrying around that paper one you’re supposed to destroy that is literally from 2016) and when I do, I’m going to set up a proper gofundme for my surgery and the travel expenses, but for now all I have is my paypal and online banking savings account. I’ll get that up asap once I have my id, though (Ive already been to the bank with my notarized judge passed papers and they wont take those yeah I know it’s stupid its like the same thing) But uhhh yeah! Thank you for reading this far if you did lol and considering helping me bcs my god, it literally means everything to me. pls share hehe

[hopelesslyhopefulforyou]

Okay. Riley is down for a nap and I just need to get my thoughts down somehow so here goes.

I'm considering extending my maternity leave.

I'm a school counselor and it's for sure hard to be away from my students but I need to be home and take care of us right now. I'm out until November 28th for sure right now. But I've been out since last spring break in April. I'd had a bleed at 27 weeks and was hospitalized for 3 days, finding out I had a high risk diagnosis of vasa previa. So I obviously didn't take that well and after everything I knew I needed a break. They wrote me a note and I've been on fmla ever since. The way the school year fell, I was able to take my sick time up until the end of the school year and I decided to extend my leave until after Thanksgiving break, going unpaid for the remainder. I just submitted for a donation of days through work so we will see how many sick days I get from other people, potentially giving me a few more weeks of pay. If not, no big deal.

Which brings me to this moment. I hadn't expected to get paid this long, to be honest. We knew I was going to be unpaid at some point and we'd saved up a decent amount for me to do so. We haven't even tapped into that savings yet because I've been getting paid this whole time. We are fortunate, absolutely.

But as November approaches I realize how I don't want to leave him just yet. It took so long to get here and if I can enjoy it a little longer I want to.

Things are going really well for once and I realize with all the trauma of 3 years of ttc, a miscarriage, 3 iuis, and ivf...I haven't felt like myself in a long long time. I'm finally starting to again. I feel good for the first time in years. It's like it's finally sunny when it's been foggy for too long.

Obviously I still have to ask at work if this is even an option, given how much time I've had off. I'm 95% sure it is. When I talked to my boss and the board office to plan my leave initially, they said a lot of people will call and extend it because they aren't ready to return. The way my contract is, they'll hold my position for 3 full years if I want.

Anyway. Here are some things that are swaying my decision:

My goal is to breastfeed until he's 6 months at least. I can pump at work but really don't want to if I don't have to. Plus I worry my supply will drop. We had to supplement with formula and donated breast milk when he was in the nicu because I wasn't producing enough after a 35 week delivery and I'm not opposed to formula but if I could make my goal, I'd be thrilled. Plus I'm considering going longer than 6 months and donating some milk for the nicu babies and giving back.

The student loan forgiveness helps a lot and it being postponed again helps so i wont have that as an expense when I'm going unpaid.

We aren't putting him in daycare until he's bigger so there's no rush to save up even more money just yet for that. I'm not even convinced I'm gonna put him in daycare. Idk. My MIL is retired and going to watch him at my house while my husband works from home and my mom is considering going part time.

Preschool won't cost us much because he will be going to the preschool my district has and it's pretty cheap for employees compared to other places so that's not a worry for the future.

We eventually want to move houses. The district we live in isn't great but isnt bad. We want to be out absolutely by middle school was the initial plan but my district I work in allows employees to pay tuition to bring their kids. It's a nice district in comparison. They're also trying to waive that fee for employee's kids but we will see.

All of that means we aren't in a hurry to sell our house like we thought we'd be. We have enough space for now. Our home isn't huge by any means but we have 3 bedrooms and a huge backyard and a basement. We want 2, maybe 3 kids but I've been told to wait for sure a year to try again, even 18 months. We aren't in a hurry for another baby either. When it's time, we will know it. And even with that we can have 2 kids in this house comfortably so moving is being pushed back a few more years at least.

Also our next ivf transfer will be 100% covered by our insurance which is really nice. They'd just changed that policy 2 months after we'd done our retrieval and are covering up to $15,000 in infertility costs. So this next transfer will be free for us if we have to do it.

We also only have one car payment because we paid off the other car. My husband works from home so we aren't spending much on gas either.

The only thing we have on a credit card is our ivf payment which is almost done, I'm just doing minimum payments while I'm unpaid from work.

I'm also already starting back at work with 0 sick days. Which sucks. But my husband has a lot of time off to take, my mom does too, and my MIL is retired so someone will be here with him if he's sick before I earn more time back. And if I get sick, I'll just go unpaid. Whatever lol it'll be fine.

So yeah...all that is on my mind right now. I'm considering a January 17th return date because that's the start of 3rd quarter. School year halfway done, spring break in April, summer in June and then Riley is a year old in June. I think it's a good plan.

As a professional courtesy, I'm going to call my boss and tell her my plan before talking to the board office. I'll ask if she thinks she'll need me back sooner. I don't want to upset my employer but she'd mentioned to me that I may want a little more time and I know it's ultimately my decision.

I just think I owe it to myself to stay home and enjoy this as long as I can. I can't get this time back and going back to work when he's 7 months old sounds a lot easier than when he's almost 4 months old.

[mariacallous]

alfa-lima-limon

They don't require letters to prescribe hormones? Or is it something else. It looks so confusing and the way they set up the cost also seems misleading/purposefully confusing.

My experience is that letters aren’t required for hormones - you do have to do an intake and discuss things with with the provider, and get a diagnosis for gender dysphoria or something similar, so that it’ll be included in your medical file and also for insurance purposes. 

If you already have a gender-affirming prescription, they say “We will do our best to make it as easy as possible to transfer your care and your prescription to Plume. Our healthcare providers will, when medically appropriate, send a prescription to the pharmacy of your choice, order labs, and generally monitor your progress over time. Once you sign up, you can chat with our care team about the best solution for your current situation.” which is not very reassuring, at least to me.

You can’t use Plume if you have Medicare because of the billing requirements, and in Colorado and Kentucky at least (and possibly other states) you can’t use Plume if you have Medicaid (again, because of billing requirements).

The labwork is done through Quest Diagnostics, so that’s another entity that you’ll need to deal with and coordinate.

I find their cost-comparison chart to be questionable and I think it’s more scaremongering, especially because they don’t touch on Planned Parenthood or similar organizations.

They say "We have partnered with several non-profits to provide need-based financial support for Plume members. Our HRT Access Fund provides 12 months of free gender-affirming hormone therapy and medications via Point of Pride. Learn more at https://pointofpride.org/HRT-Access-Fund/” which is good but, again, Planned Parenthood operates similarly.

Additionally they say “We do not accept insurance for our monthly fees. Remaining a cash-only practice allows us to be innovative and cost-effective in providing the care that folks want in the most convenient way possible.  Our service is eligible for Health Savings Accounts (HSA) or Flexible Spending Accounts (FSA). Insurance may be used to cover the cost of gender-affirming medications. Check with your insurance provider regarding coverage.”

They don’t do behavioral health, they don’t do primary care, they will provide a list of surgeons and referrals “if necessary”, they provide a letter of support for surgery from a Plume healthcare provider (if that provider determines you’re “medically eligible”) and a letter of support for name change or gender marker/birth certificates but no letters from a behavioral health provider (which is often the more important one).

[brotheralyosha]

DON/OTREB/LOG

So you might remember that a while back when I started my new job I talked about finally getting an ADHD diagnosis and starting treatment. Here’s how that went:

I started looking around for any nearby specialist ADHD clinics, thinking that given my history and what I’ve heard over and over from people who have tried to get an ADHD diagnosis for the first time as an adult, it would be very unlikely for me to get a diagnosis and treatment from a general provider without specific experience in ADHD. I looked at every single one that I could find within driving distance and all of them were both extremely expensive and not covered by my insurance, which doesn’t have out of network benefits.

So, I called up my insurance company and asked them if they had any in-network specialists who treat adult ADHD. They said that they had lots of adult ADHD specialists and sent me a list. But when I actually looked into the practitioners on their list, they were almost all general practitioners who could treat ADHD, but didn't actually have specialization in it.

I finally found an in-network provider who did actually had a specialization in ADHD, and he said exactly what I had been expecting he would and hoping that he wouldn’t: that due to my history - no childhood diagnosis, no history of behavioral problems, good grades, white-collar job - he can’t diagnose me with ADHD, and I need to go to a specialist clinic for a comprehensive evaluation. You know, the ones that I was actively trying to avoid going to because they're all out of network and incredibly expensive.

But at this point I just said, “Fuck it, I can’t deal with this anymore, I’m going to go out of network and I don’t care how much I have to pay, because I really, really need to get this treated.” So I went to an out-of-network ADHD specialist and got the information that I needed to check in with my insurance company about much I could get reimbursed for out-of-network coverage. I just got off the phone with my insurance company and they told me, actually, we’re not going to pay for any of this, you are getting absolutely zero reimbursement, despite the fact that we were the ones who referred you here in first place.  They kept saying, “You should try to find these services in network,” and I kept saying, “I did go in network, and they referred me out of network,” and the conversation just sort of went around like that for a while.

And then I got off the phone, called up the out-of-network specialist, and left a message to schedule an appointment with them, because what else I am a supposed to do? Even pre-Covid my ADHD was barely manageable with extreme amounts of time, energy, and effort, and it simply isn’t anymore. Getting proper diagnosis and treatment for this has been the light at the end of the tunnel for me for a while now, and I honestly do not think that I can deal with giving up on that. This whole process has taken months and months and months, largely due me struggling with executive function, and if I delay it any longer I might lose momentum and have to start over again. So now I’m sitting here looking at my bank account mentally preparing myself to eat rice, beans, and oatmeal for the rest of the month in order to accommodate a health care fee larger than my rent and bills combined.

In conclusion: fuck this health care system to hell, Medicare for all now goddamn it.

(Since some of you are literal angels, I want to clarify that I definitely do not need any donations - my comment about my finances is about me not wanting to dip into my savings, not me being actually unable to pay for it. I am okay, and I’m definitely going to be able to pay for this, it just sucks!)

[of-another-broken-heart]

I was randomly possessed to just. Do some squats yesterday? I was waiting on the microwave. I did 10 squats. Just to move. In the kitchen.  And then I did a little walking later with my friend. Maaaaybe a half mile, if I’m being generous??

I’m so out of practice. My thighs are having a rough time today. And my right hip, especially. 

It makes sense, obviously. Years of being sedentary due to fatigue and financial reasons and social reasons. Of course 10 squats and a half-mile walk all of a sudden have done this to me. 

Still feels bad. 

I miss exercising. I miss going to the gym. 

Shit’s so fucking expensive. 

I’m over here, slightly giddy because I’ve got “st*mulus” funds hoarded right now that are as high as I ever actually managed to save when I was working. So I know, technically, I can afford a few things. 

But years of poverty trauma mostly won’t let me. The $10 fruit smoothie indulgence yesterday was a combined celebration. First time seeing a friend in years. Early birthday for us both. 

I still looked up the pricing. Because I want to be able to do it, again. 2021 really coming through on the “Let’s remember how to WANT! And SUFFER for it!!” front.  The Black Card membership price is way higher than I remember. Basic is still $10/month (plus $39 annual membership fee - but “no contracts” somehow??) and the Black Card is more than double that - $23/month (same annual membership fee - same “no contracts” claim).  Basic isn’t really worth it. Tied to one single location, not allowed to use a lot of the facility’s perks, can’t bring a friend. So the Black Card would be the only plan I would actually consider. But not when a year clocks in at fucking $315 (plus taxes and fees*). The Basic ends up just about half that - $159 (plus taxes and fees*). But you go alone, locked to a single location, and can’t use more than half the stuff the place offers. 

I can’t believe there was a point in my life where I was doing well enough that I could afford that.  And I wasn’t even doing that well!  I looked through my old records. I think the most I ever took home in a year was a little over $9k. That was my income during the busiest of my years in my last job, making $15/hour.  And I thought i was doing well. I thought that was great.  My boss tried to make me feel guilt for doing that much work and earning less than $10k a year. He, who owned not one but TWO houses by the end of it all, and was able to comfortably plan and start a family, and own new (less than 5 years old) cars for both him and his wife -- HE wanted me to feel guilty for the price of my work done for him, even though it still clocked in far, far below the poverty line.  God, that’s so fucked up.  That’s SO fucked up. 

In contrast to making literally nothing for years, though. $9k does sound huge. And it’s been years of cost of living inflation and more wage stagnation, and pandemic and inhuman corner cutting so businesses can still keep profits ahead of human life since then. So even though $9k sounds huge it’s still just. What? A few months of survival? Rent and food and medical expenses and car costs and hygiene and household cleaning and maintenance... $9k is nothing. 

I wish gym memberships were covered under insurance.  All this fucking panic over “Fat is BAD! FAT IS BAD!!” But fat-removing surgery is just cosmetic, honey darling sweety. Diet and exercise! Diet and exercise!!  But all on your own dollar and time. You get NO nutrition education, no metabolic screening, no meal planning, no food assistance! You get NO safe space to move or exercise, you get NO coaching, you get NO training, you get NO gym access!

It’s all a fucking sham. 

I just want to feel better. I will probably never get to the point I was before - especially not if it turns out I have CFS (in which case exercising can worsen your health, isn’t that fun!) but I’ll probably die before I find a doctor willing to even entertain that diagnosis, much less run the tests and criteria for me when there’s conveniently my weight and lifelong depression to use as scapegoats instead.