#so i am just absolutely fuckin baffled

[mottski]

did any of yall playing bg3 on pc run into a brick wall of game crashing in act 2 and did you find something that fixed it?

it's becoming essentially unplayable, specifically when im inside moonrise towers. almost every cutscene freezes the game until it crashes. it usually takes at least two attempts to get through any of them. it doesn't matter whether i let the game load in around me or not, either. not to mention how long it takes *to* load in...

for example, ive been trying to step forward into kethric's throne room for 50 minutes. the game has frozen until i had to force quit twice. i moved my camera forward once and it closed out on its own. i opened settings to make sure i was in fullscreen, the game closed on its own. i feel like i am going to detonate in frustration.

game files are verified on steam, settings are as low as possible, no background apps running, overlay off. i just don't know what to do besides brute force it at this point and it sucks ass

[sturnsdarling]

an unlikely friendship

{insp by @sturnioz au} fratboy!chris needs a girls help with a deal, and the only girl he knows he can trust, is fratboy!matts.

vibe check: suggestive between reader and matt at the start, drug dealing, doing drugs (coke and weed), drinking, bad vibes from the other frat boys, reader and chris being enemies to best friends damon and bonnie style

4.7k words (I yapped a bit on this oops)

A/N: this is kind of a follow up to the 'what the fuck is wrong with you' fic but also not really? idk bro its the duo we didn't know we needed. also the song I chose for this is one of the best songs to come out of the shit hole country I call home so give it a listen and i'm also fully aware that an american frat would never play this song but its my story so, kick rocks.

love and cigs, merc

You were hovering over Matt, kissing him through your whimpers as he matched your pace, fucking up into you as you bounced on his cock relentlessly.

Your daily dose of Matt was quickly interrupted by Chris, charging in the room with a spliff hanging from his lips.

"Yo, y/n, I need t'ask you somethin" Chris was completely un-phased by the sight of you on top of Matt, luckily covered by his duvet.

"Chris, what the fuck are you doin, dickhead" Matt said in a huff as you quickly clambered off him and onto to the bed, covering yourself in shock.

"kid, show me somthin' I ain't seen before and I'll start throwing racks over y'both" Chris raised his brows in his brothers direction before turning his attention to you, "y/n I need to talk to ya"

Matt rolled his eyes, pulling the duvet to bunch up over his still hard cock. You pulled the duvet up to cover yourself completely, looking at Chris in complete bafflement.

"can it wait? i'm kinda busy right now, Chris" you shifted where you sat, glancing down at the messy bed and back to Chris.

"nah, it can't" Chris replied, taking a long toke of his joint and dead panning

"you're fuckin' unbelievable" Matt huffed, draping his arm over your shoulder and pulling you into him slightly "what do you want, kid"

"I need to take you on a deal i'm doin' tonight" Chris said.

"what?" you and Matt asked in unison, brows furrowed as Chris' face remained unchanged.

"what? am I fuckin' speaking Japanese or somethin'?" Chris' face scrunched up in annoyance, "I need ya for a deal"

"why me?" you ask, just as baffled as Matt beside you

"cause you're a girl" Chris shrugged, still toking on his joint.

"Chris, there is no way in ever loving fuck you're taking my girl to a fuckin' drug deal" Matt shook his head, annoyance thick in his voice.

Your heart swelled at the pet name, "your girl?" you craned your neck over to look at him, eyes flitting between his.

"yeah, my girl" Matt nodded with a smirk, edging his lips closer to yours as he repeated his words.

You locked your lips over his, your hand instantly coming to his jaw, pulling him into you with a giggle, he returned the kiss, tracing small circles on your shoulder with his soft finger tips.

"okay, if you two are gonna do this shit infront'a me can you pass me that cup cause i'm gonna fuckin' throw up" Chris said, retching at the sight of you and Matt all loved up.

"you came into my room, kid" Matt broke your kiss, pointing his attentions back to Chris as you chuckled

"anyway, s'not happening, find someone else" Matt shrugged stubbornly.

Chris groaned, rolling his eyes, "why, dude, y'being fuckin' annoying"

"why do you need a girl for the deal, anyway?" you asked, curious.

Chris toked his joint, "cause" he blew out the cloud of smoke in his mouth, "the house I'm goin' to is full of little bitches that've never felt the touch of a woman in their lives, you'll be like... bait"

"absolutely fuckin' not" Matt butted in, his voice stern.

"how bad could it really be?" you looked to Matt, somewhat intrigued by Chris' proposition and Chris' ears perked up at your curiosity

"are you stupid?" Matt looked at you instantly, brows furrowed, "angel, I am not lettin' you go to a frat house full of kids that wanna roofie you and fuck you on the campus green, nah, absolutely not" Matts grip tightened around you.

"first of all, i'm not fuckin' stupid, i'm smarter than you so, watch your mouth" you said, tone stern as Chris let out a little 'oh shit' from the end of the bed, "and second of all, i'm fully capable of looking after myself"

"and s'not like I'd let anything happen to her, I'll have her back" Chris added, trying to sound as uncaring as possible as not to let onto the fact that he actually thought you were alright.

"see, Chris will have my back" you mimicked Chris' words, flitting your eyes in Chris' direction whilst facing Matt, your face riddled with a cheeky smile at Chris actually being nice for once.

Matt groaned, rubbing his temples with a stretched hand across his forehead, "I don't know" he sighed

Chris' shoulders dropped, he sighed and rolled his head backwards before taking a deep breath and looking to the both of you, "look, y/n's the only girl I trust t'do this with me, kay? so either she comes, or it don't happen and I really need this deal to work"

You were slightly taken aback by Chris' honesty, shooting him a small smile that was met with a quick eye roll. You looked back to Matt who was looking at his brother, clenched jaw as he bit the inside of his cheek in thought.

"nothing happens to her, kay?" Matt said, after some deliberation.

"nothin" Chris nodded, standing to attention.

"cause I will personally see to your death, kid, like I will actually break every. single. bone. in your body until you're limp and heavy like a wet sock" Matt added, pointing a finger at Chris as excitement swelled in your body.

"super graphic, dude" Chris winced, "but fine, nothin happens or I die, got it"

Seeing Chris back down to Matt was always an interesting sight, it was like watching wolves fight for dominance. You squealed in excitement over the whole ordeal.

"I'm so excited, why am I excited?" You said, cheesing

"because you're a little sadist" Matt laughed, pulling you into a tender and short kiss, "if anything happens, you call me straight away, okay? anything"

you rolled your eyes, peppering another short kiss on Matts lips, "yes, Matthew, I will call you" you couldn't help but smile at Matts protectiveness over you, it was nice to never have to worry, you knew he had you, always.

"good girl" Matt smirked, "now, Chris, get the fuck out" he turned his attention to his brother as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into you.

"be ready by eight, kid" Chris said, walking away but looking at you over his shoulder.

"will do" you chuckled, turning to pull Matt into a sloppy kiss, Chris groaned and walked out the room, slamming the door behind him.

Later that night,

You were getting ready in Matts room, putting on your best 'bait' outfit and applying a smooth layer of red lipstick. Matt watched in awe as you stretched your plump lips open, applying the red tint to the corners of your mouth. You caught him staring at you in the mirror and chuckled at his slack jaw appearance.

"maybe you shouldn't go" Matt said, coming up behind you and resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Matthew" you rolled your eyes, putting the lid on your lipstick and turning around, wrapping your arms over his shoulders, "everything will be fine, I'm a big girl, okay? I can look after myself"

Matts hands snaked around your waist, making you arch into him, "I know, angel, but-" he sighed, "you're my girl, I don't really like the idea of you bein' bait for a drug deal, fuckin' hate it actually"

You cheesed at the pet name, it was his favourite thing to call you today and you weren't complaining.

"I'll be fine, I promise" You said, inching your red lips close to his as his lips parted in anticipation, you chuckled at his subtle neediness for you, knowing you were the only one who got to see him like this. You pulled your face away with a smirk and Matt tutted, raising his hand to your jaw quickly and pulling your face towards his with brute force, capturing your lips in a messy kiss.

You whimpered on instinct, arching into him as his hand came down to knead at the flesh of your skirt covered ass before placing a firm smack on one of your cheeks. You squealed with a smile, pulling away from him. Matt gazed down at you, red lipstick smeared across his lips. You giggled, bringing your thumb to his lips to wipe the stain away and Matt caught your thumb between your teeth with a teasing bite and squeezed your ass once more.

Your moment was interrupted by Chris once again, bounding into the room with, surprise surprise, a joint hanging from his lips.

"you ready, kid?" Chris said.

You peered at him over Matts shoulder and Matt turned his head to look at him. You dropped your hands from Matts shoulders, stepping out from in front of him so Chris could see your outfit.

"how do I look?" you smiled, holding your arms out in display.

"like a slut" Chris toked his joint and you cocked your eyes to the side with a half smile.

"dude" Matt warned from next to you.

"what?" Chris shrugged, "it's perfect" He grinned.

You hummed a satisfied sound and patted your skirt down, admiring your, according to Chris, slutty outfit.

"lets go, it's eight" Chris said putting his joint out in the ashtray on the table by the door after one final, long toke.

"okay" you smiled, turning to Matt to kiss him goodbye. His hands found your face instantly as you slotted your lips around his, Chris groaning behind the two of you.

"see you later" You pulled away from the kiss, hands wrapped around Matts wrists.

"see you later, angel, stay pretty for me, kay?" he smiled, placing another short kiss on your lips.

"mhm" you nodded, turning to face Chris with an excited smile.

As you walked away, Matt placed an encouraging slap on your ass. You walked past Chris, sauntering down the stairs. Just before he could follow you, Chris' shoulder was in Matts grip.

"what, kid" he huffed, but was cut off by the sight of Matt glaring at him.

"if anythin' happens to her, I will fuckin' end you," he said, his tone threatening as he spoke through gritted teeth.

Chris rolled his eyes, "Kid -" he went to speak.

"I'm serious, Chris. She's very fuckin' important to me and if she gets even close to hurt 'cause of you, we will have big fuckin' problems" Matt added, glaring at Chris.

Matts tone made Chris shift in his skin, completely unafraid of his brother but knowing what he's capable of when he's upset.

"m'not gonna let anythin' happen to her, kid, I promise, she's safe with me" Chris said, keeping Matts eye contact to show his sincerity.

"good, I trust you" Matt said, dropping his hand from Chris' shoulder.

Chris prodded the side of his cheek with his tongue and raised his brows quickly, trying not to let on that Matt trusting him was more important to him than anything.

"see ya later, angel" Chris mocked Matt, walking out the room with a chuckle.

The walk to the house was a lot less awkward than you thought it would be.

"so, whats the deal with this whole 'i need this to go well' thing?" you asked, looking to Chris with a cigarette between your lips, "why's it so important?"

"it just is, kid, why you askin' questions like you give a fuck" Chris tutted, looking you up and down with judgement.

You chuckled at his defensiveness, raising your hands in jesting surrender as you let your cig hang from your lips, "alright" you raised your brows and widened your eyes.

Chris looked at you and rolled his eyes with a sigh, pulling the preroll our from its tucked position behind his ear, he put the joint in his mouth and lit it, cupping the end with one hand as he sparked the lighter with the other. He took a long toke before blowing the smoke into the air.

"this house is one of two houses I don't sell to on the entire campus" Chris said, his voice strained slightly as he blew out the smoke.

"right" you said, encouraging him to talk.

"and, as we speak, Nate is at the other, working his Boston charm on the little christian girls of kappa kappa new" Chris smiled at you, raising his brows as he took another joke of his joint.

"and I know that thats a done deal, so, if we get this house tonight, i'll officially be the dealer of the whole fuckin' college" Chris raised his arms, turning as he gestured to the dark, street lamp lit campus.

you chuckled at his gesture, raising your brows quickly, "you sure do have big aspirations, Chris"

Chris tutted, "don't judge me, wise ass, not everyone can be a genius like you or Matthew" Chris mocked your voice as he said his brothers name.

"hey, I'm not judging" You raised your hands again

"you definitely are, kid" Chris rolled his eyes, returning his attention back to the street as he toked his joint.

"nah, i'm not, I think what you do is actually pretty cool" You shrugged, being honest.

"really?" Chris looked to you again, his face screwed up in confusion.

"yeah, you gotta be clued up to be able to do what you do, it's kinda admirable, in a... weird way" you nodded at him, holding his eye contact.

He didn't say anything at first, only fought the smile trying to crawl onto his face. Chris chuckled, shaking his head "thanks, kid, but I don't really need your approval to do what I do"

You rolled your eyes, retreating back into silence at Chris' incessant standoffishness.

When you got to house, you adjusted your outfit as you stood in the front garden, the music booming from the house as Chris finished his joint.

"you look fine, kid, stop faffin" Chris tutted.

"I know I look fine, asshole, I don't need your approval" you copied his earlier words with a grimacing look.

Chris couldn't help but laugh, you were the only person that spoke to him like that and he wasn't sure why he didn't want to throw you in front of a car because of it.

"when we get in there, jus stay close to me, y'don't even need to speak" Chris said, throwing his joint on the floor.

"so what the fuck am I here for then?" You tutted.

Chris groaned, "you know how car dealerships always have a hot chick standing by the car?" he tilted his head at you.

"yeah?" you scrunched your face at him.

"car" he pointed to himself, "hot chick" and then to you

"right" you said, bluntly.

"trust me, I know these boys n' they'll do anythin' to even look at a girl, let alone be associated with one, even if it is through their dealer" Chris added, hearing him speak about dealing made you see how smart he really was, and you felt yourself begin to kind of respect him

"so, just be a hot girl and help you sell product by doing nothing but being a hot girl?" you summarised.

"exactly" Chris smirked, slightly admiring your willingness to help him with this.

"I can do that" you shrugged, throwing your cigarette on the floor and stamping it out under your boot.

"thats why ya here, kid" Chris turned and walked towards the house, you followed him, puffing your chest out slightly and painting your features with a sly confidence.

The whole house was vibrating with people, 'Traktor' by Wretch 32 blaring through the speakers as you and Chris walked through, everyone turning to look at you both as Chris' presence cleared a path.

The whole party seemed to shift as Chris walked in, everyone whispering about the two of you, you heard mutters as you walked behind Chris, picking up the ends of sentences like 'who is that with him?' and others like 'I swear thats his brothers girl'. You had never developed the crippling gene that made people care about what other people thought of them, so knowing that everyone was talking about you didn't bother you in the slightest, maybe thats why Chris asked you to do this with him.

Chris was dapping up people as he walked through, seeing some personal regulars. He introduced you to everyone as 'Matts girl', some you already knew from spending so much time at the boys' frat house, others you had only met in passing or not at all.

Once Chris had manoeuvred you both through to the kitchen, you were met with a sight you despised. An entire group of frat boys, all clad in chinos and polo shirts, playing beer pong, terribly, and chest bumping each other every time the tiny ball entered the red cup.

"this is my personal hell" You said to Chris, resting your arm on his shoulder as you lent your body weight on him.

"you and me both" Chris chuckled, "lets go, it's game time"

Chris walked over, his demeanour shifting slightly as he approached them. He shifted from just Chris to dealer Chris, carrying an ampt up air of 'don't fuck with me' and a broadness in his shoulders that was honestly fascinating to watch.

You followed suit, pushing your hair back from your chest to hang down your back, leaving your cleavage on full display as you adjusted your walk, swaying your hips with purpose and swallowing all the hilarious jokes at the group of boys' expense you were definitely going to tell Matt later.

"yo, Chris, how you livin' bro?" One of the boys noticed Chris as you walked towards them.

"sup, Cody, was' good?" Chris dapped him up, shooting a nod at the rest of the boys' frat brothers.

"who's this?" Cody asked, gesturing to you and looking you up and down, near enough licking his lips at the sight of you.

"This is y/n, she's Matts girl" Chris replied, "y/n, this is Cody, he's the president of the frat" Chris looked to you, shooting you a short look that you understood immediately.

"hi" you smiled at the boy, blinking at him like a cat, "where can I get a drink?" you asked, putting on your best sorority persona.

"I like this girl" Cody looked to Chris who raised his brows quickly in response, "drinks table is over there, sweetheart" He pointed over to the far end of the room, "yo, packer, get Chris' pretty friend here a drink" He turned to shout to one of his frat brothers.

Packer did as he was told immediately, and within seconds you had a drink in your hand.

"Thanks, Packer" you said, brushing the boys hand for a moment as you took the drink from him and took a sip, returning your attentions to the boy who was undressing you with his eyes.

It made your skin crawl, in all honesty you wanted to throw the drink in his face, knee him in the balls and spit on his convulsing body, but, you had a role to play.

"so, I'm here 'cause I heard that your dealer got put away, and you boys in dire need of a new supplier" Chris said, pulling Cody's attention away from you.

"thats right" Cody smirked, trying to be as confident as he could in Chris' presence.

"well, I got everything ya need, bro, what'cha want" Chris shrugged, selling a pen to a writer and being effortlessly charismatic.

Cody chuckled, nodding his head and pressing his tongue to his teeth, "I told you last semester Chris, I dunno if the boys wanna be associated with you like that"

Chris rolled his eyes, "Cody, bro, who's in charge here? the boys? or you?" Chris lightly poked the boys shoulder, asserting dominance over him without even trying.

Cody thought for a moment, looking back at the boys as they continued to be terrible at beer pong.

"that is true" He nodded, looking back to Chris, "but, we gotta try before we buy, you gotta party with us" Cody added.

Chris opened his mouth to speak and looked to you for a moment, you looked up at him, furrowing your brows slightly with a small cock of your head.

"I dunno about that, bro, this ain't really my crowd" Chris said, shaking his head.

Before Cody could try and convince him, your arm was rested on Chris' shoulder once more, getting his attention.

"oh, come on, Chris, the boys wanna party, let's show em how we party" you said, your voice thick with faux encouragement disguising the message you were praying Chris was picking up on.

Chris narrowed his eyes at you and you widened yours, with a tense jaw, he turned to Cody, "alright, lets party"

Cody smiled and wrapped his arm round Chris' shoulder, guiding him over to his frat brothers and you followed them, cheesing at Chris cheekily as he shot you a glaring look from over his shoulder.

"lets do some shots!" you shouted, raising an arm and skipping over to the drinks table to get shot glasses and a bottle of vodka.

The drinks started to flow, and at some point, Chris actually looked like he was enjoying himself.

You and Chris were killing it; you beat everyone at beer pong, declaring yourself the duo of all duo's; at one point you were on a table, pouring straight liquor into Chris' mouth from about three feet up, surrounded by hoards of frat boys all cheering you on; you were arm wresting with frat boys, Chris acting as your coach, rubbing your shoulders and patting your face town with a vodka soaked tea towel as if you were a world champion boxer. It was actually, a lot of fun.

You had ten shots lined up, moving down the line side by side to do five shots each. You both knocked them back with ease, shooting one after the other like it was water. When you got to the final shot, you let out a loud 'whoop', echoed by Chris, who groaned at the feeling of pure vodka slipping down his throat. You held your hands up, asking for a high five of Chris and, in his drunken state, he complied, hitting your hands with his with brute force. You laughed loudly, cheesing at him, giving him a look that he knew meant 'its working'.

Cody and his frat brothers were around you, cheering you on as they struggled to keep up. Cody couldn't keep his eyes off you and, despite the sick feeling it gave you in your stomach, it gave you an idea.

"give me a baggy" You leant up to whisper in Chris' ear.

"what? why?" Chris said, shaking his head slightly.

"Just, trust me" you pulled away from his shoulder, nodding at him and holding your hand up.

Chris reached into his pocket, pulled out a baggy of coke and placed it in your palm, brows furrowed in curiosity as he watched you saunter over to Cody.

He couldn't quite make out what you were saying, but as you approached Cody he saw your whole energy shift, you went from your usual cold and standoffish self to a welcoming and flirty girl, Chris couldn't help but be somewhat proud.

You approached Cody, placing your hand on his chest with the baggy tucked between your fingers and got on your tip toes to talk directly into his ear.

"get your keys out" You said, putting on your best slurring drunk voice.

Cody did as you said, reaching into his pocket and handing you his keys with a smirk. You opened the baggy, keeping eye contact with him as you loaded just enough to sniff onto the end. You raised it to Cody's nose, placing a delicate finger on his nostril, your eye contact never wavering.

Cody snorted the lump of coke off the metal, his whole face scrunching up at the sensation of it shooting up his nose. You giggled, taking the key and licking it clean, batting your lashes at him before placing his keys back in his hand, letting your hand linger on his for a moment before turning away and walking back over to Chris, your face dropping from a smile the instant Cody couldn't see your expression.

Chris laughed, shaking his head in slight awe at you as you rolled your eyes, still swaying your hips, knowing Cody was looking at you.

"that was genius" Chris said as you reached his side, leaning on the counter and pouring yourself another drink.

"I know" you shrugged with a smile, taking a sip and turning back to face the party.

Chris watched as Cody bragged to his friends about what had just happened, telling everyone how hot you were and how good Chris' coke is. You nudged Chris with your shoulder and he grinned down at you, you cocked your head towards the frat boys and he pushed your shoulder jestingly, walking over to the group of boys, reaching into his pocket and handing out baggies, taking rolls of cash in return.

You stayed tucked away against the counter, watching as Chris pulled in cash endlessly, handing out bags of coke and weed to almost everyone at the party. At one point, he didn't even need to ask people if they wanted anything, they were coming to him and all he had to do was name his price. You smiled behind your cup, knowing that this is exactly how he wanted the night to go and happy that you got to be a part of this strange exchange.

Through the crowd of people, Chris found your eye-line, shooting you a grateful wink, one you returned before slamming your drink.

you pulled out your phone, vision only slightly blurry from the amount you had drunk. You messaged Matt, letting him know that everything had gone perfectly and that you and Chris were actually getting along.

You were snapped out of your text conversation by Chris saying your name, "you ready to go, kid?" he asked.

"yes, desperately, I can feel myself getting stupider just be being here" you groaned, following Chris as he walked you both through the party.

the walk home was actually, nice.

"when you loaded that key for him, I actually thought the kids knees were gonna buckle" Chris laughed, taking a long toke of his joint before offering you some.

You shook your head at his offer, reaching into your bra and pulling your cigarettes out, placing one in your mouth and using the end of Chris' joint to light it.

"dude he was literally shaking, like even being around me was enough to make him cream his pants" you chuckled, smoke leaving your mouth as you spoke.

Chris keeled over in laughter as he walked beside you, "it was fuckin' genius, kid, you're comin' on every deal with me when I have t'pretend to like those fuckin' losers"

"I'm happy to be of service" you said, curtsying at Chris with a ridiculous smirk on your face, your cigarette dangling from your lips.

Chris just laughed at your gesture, shaking his head as he toked his joint. You both walked in comfortable silence for a while, heading back to the frat house. You thought about the night, about how if you had told you a week ago that you would go out with Chris, and actually enjoy yourself, you would have laughed in your face.

"you know, I had a really good time tonight" you said, surprise thick in your voice.

Chris looked over to you and a cocked brow, "don't sound too surprised kid, m'not that bad"

"nah, you're not, you're actually kinda pleasant to be around when you're not being a cocky shit" you jested, pointing your cigarette at Chris accusingly.

"thanks, I guess" Chris chuckled, "you're not too bad either, kid"

you gasped, holding your hand to your chest, "did the Christopher Sturniolo just admit that he actually likes hanging out with me?" you said in exaggerated shock.

Chris rolled his eyes, taking a final toke of his joint and flicking the dead butt in your direction, you laughed, dodging the attack and ashing your cigarette at him.

"don't get too crazy, I wouldn't say I like hangin' out with ya" he smiled, "but I did have fun"

you walked the rest of the way home in silence, only breaking it to occasionally giggle about the events of the night or for Chris to tell you he needed to 'take a leak'. You had a surprisingly nice night, and for the first time since you had known him, you were beginning to actually like Chris, finally seeing what Matt meant when he says that he isn't 'all bad'. Chris shared your near admiration, seeing you for more than the confrontational, for lack of a better word, bitch that was fucking his brother and best friends with his girl.

It was an unlikely friendship, but it was definitely blossoming.

taglist: @sturniozalt@mattslolita@shaquilles-0atmeal@blahbel668@sleepysturniolo@le4hsblog @sarosfilms @joemamaaa42069 @2muchofaslvt @seluky10 @cherib3lla @jetaimevous

[godjustkys]

| mndi 18+

| What a perv.

please give requests.

-----------------------------

Pairing: Top!dom!AMAB!reader x bottom!sub!Dean Winchester.

-----------------------------

Genre: smut.

-----------------------------

Word count: 2,357

-----------------------------

Warning(s): slight feminisation, use of pet names, reader being a cocky asshole (just a lil bit), unprotected sex, reader has clothes on/character does not, bratty Dean >:)

-----------------------------

Request: "can i req perv dean winchester x top male reader? possibly where dean’s jerking off to something that correlates to the reader (like a picture/boxers/whatever works really), but ends up getting caught? he’d usually use his glib tongue to get away, but poor princess is so embarrassed he’s caught jerking off to a guy."

-----------------------------

A/n: i think about dean a lot, putting my headcanons to use here. i need him so badly,,

-----------------------------

You had just gotten back from a grocery trip, putting the bags on the kitchen table. “Fuckin' hell, it's quiet.” You murmured to yourself, your hands on your hips.

Sam was out. Somewhere. Said he had business to attend to. He took Cas with him, so the only one that should be home right now was Dean. At first you thought you'd come home to Dean sitting in the kitchen and drinking, or simply watching the TV.

Neither of those were the case. You slowly walked to Dean's room, thinking to yourself. Just as you reached the door to his bedroom, you opened it immediately, figuring it'd be pointless to knock at this point.

“Dean, will y- woah—��� you were in the doorway, standing still, your hand on the door handle.

Dean scrambled to sit up, getting a blanket to cover himself up. “What the hell! Knock, you moron!” He yelled at you, his facial expression clearly offended. Dean swallowed hard, eyebrows furrowed.

“Jesus Christ, okay, sorry-” you thought it was funny, how you caught him jerking off. You had a grin on your face, taking in the surroundings for a little while as you took a small step back, planning to close the door and leave Dean alone. Your smile dropped in a matter of seconds when you noticed your shirt — your dirty, bloody shirt that was supposed to be in the laundry,, in the grasp of Dean's hand.

“S'that..” you inquired slowly, squinting your eyes. “Is that my shirt?” You tilted your head to the side, your shoulders slumping. Why would Dean have your shirt in the first place?

“wh—” he looked down at his hand, practically baffled. Once Dean realized you had seen the piece of clothing, his grip tightened. “What? N— no, no that's mine.” He tried hiding it behind his back slowly.

“Dean, that's my shirt.” You pointed out, your facial expression going blank. “Were you-” you paused mid sentence, trying to take in the new information. “Were you jerking off to me?” Your tone had gotten a tad bit more serious.

“Huh?” He turned his head to look at you, wondering if he heard your question right. “No! No way! What in the world are you talking about?” His tone was defensive as he sat up more straight.

“Wait, scratch that. You were jerking off to a guy?” The look on your face was priceless, absolutely stunned. You knew you caught him, he was in a pinch. He wouldn't get out of this easily. “Since when are you so accepting of your attraction to men?”

“Hold on, does that mean you find me attractive? Am I attractive to you, Dean?” You fixed up your shirt, trying your best to look presentable. “Am I hot enough to get you off? Hm?” That same grin crept back on your face. Being friends with Dean was one thing, annoying and teasing the absolute shit out of him was another. You loved every minute of it.

Dean's gaze shifted to the floor, the feeling of heat cursing through him. Was he getting embarrassed? No, he had to come up with something to derail this conversation.

“You're being fucking ridiculous, [Name], get the hell out.” Dean made eye contact with you, trying to keep his poker face up.

“Awh, is my poor princess embarrassed to be caught jerking off to a guy?” You cooed, walking into the room and closing the door behind you. “You know damn well that it is my shirt.” You spoke, making your way towards Dean. Before the other could respond, you reached around and snatched the shirt.

You held it up, taking a proper look. “Yep,” You nodded with an affirming tone. “It is, in fact, my shirt.” Dean looked away from you, eyebrows furrowed as he huffed, clearly annoyed or even embarrassed. “Fuck off, out of my room, now.” He commanded, his voice ever-so slightly shaky.

“Ay, what the hell? I caught you jerking off to me, and now you're trynna kick me out?” You tilted your head to the side, throwing the shirt onto the ground. “Come on, I gotta know if you're in love with me or not,” you pushed further, your tone firm.

Dean scoffed as he laid back down with a small thud, the blanket still covering his lower half. He brought his arm up to his face, covering his eyes. “No. M'not. Get out,” Even though Dean denied it, his tone didn't seem that confident or convincing.

“You want me to get out and leave my shirt so you can continue jerking off to me? Orrr,, perhaps, there's a chance you want me to stay and get the real deal?” You didn't give it up, how could you? Dean Winchester, an absolute ladies man, trying to get off to his friend, a guy.

“What are you talking about??” He asked in an almost offended tone, taking his arm off of his face to look at you.

-----------------------------

Deep breaths and groans filled the silent room, your hands gripping his firm thighs as you slowly pushed your cock in. Both of Dean's legs were over your shoulders. “Shit.. t'feels weird,” He breathed out, his left hand resting atop of yours, right hand freely on the bed itself.

“Yeah, well, now you know how a woman feels when you fuck her ass.” You said in a taunting tone, not taking your eyes away from your lower half. The sight of your cock slowly disappearing in his entrance - god.

Dean muttered something out that was followed by a grunt, his hand gripping the sheets underneath the two of you a little. “Jesus Chr— ist..” His voice faltered mid-word, eyelids fluttering shut. “Relax, Dean, relax. You're doin' good,” You encouraged him in a gentle manner, rubbing circles on his thighs with your thumbs to soothe him - calm him down.

“I am- relaxed.” He grumbled out, letting out a small wince. “Wouldn't say it feels like that,” You leaned down a bit, pushing on Dean's legs. Soon enough, you fully bottomed out. “Need a moment?” You asked, eyes flickering all over Dean's torso. “You take me for a wimp?” He said breathily, opening his eyes to make eye contact with you.

Once you looked into Dean's eyes, you got so lost. He looked breathtaking like this, the look in his eyes - full of lust, neediness and want, the glossiness of them. His slightly furrowed eyebrows, clenched jaw, his hand on yours,, the hand gripping the sheets.. so perfect. All of him was perfect. “Fuckin' hell..” You muttered out, moving your left hand to Dean's cock, very slowly jerking him off.

“Mff-..mm.” Soft noises escaped his mouth, followed by a sigh of content. Your touch stimulated him to no end. “You never got to cum, right? I interrupted you,” You spoke in a delighted tone, a smirk plastered on your face. “Why don't we finish off what you started, huh?” Your hand's pace had quickened with your sentence as Dean tilted his head back, his blinking getting more frequent and excessive.

“Fuckkkk..” He said, his voice quiet and low. His breath hitched in his throat for a short moment as you started slowly thrusting in and out. Agonizingly slowly. “Did you grab my shirt from the laundry?” You questioned suddenly, looking down at him with half-lidded eyes. “Cause it was dirty, you know, I'm curious.” You added, a grin flashing across your face.

“Mmh— nhgggh!—” Dean breathed out simple whines and whimpers. You were not sure if he even heard you, your thrusting getting more rhythmic and deeper. It was all new to the other - he'd usually do the fucking. “Hey Dean-oooo, I asked you a question baby,” You cooed, thumb rubbing over the slit of his dick, putting pressure on it. “Son of a bitch— shit!” He pressed his head back into the pillow, hand gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white. Dean had a hard time not squeezing your hand as well.

You moved your hand, intertwining your fingers together as you pushed his arm, making his forearm rest beside his head, pressing his hand into the mattress a bit as you propped yourself up. “Breathe Dean, jeez,” You said with a small breathless scoff, your other hand pumping his cock continuously. “Sh— shut up,, I hate y..you, hhgg!-” Dean managed to speak, his sentence truly holding no malice or hostility behind his tone of voice, moving his head to the side and letting out a hiss at the feeling of your cock inside him. “Do you?” The grin never left your face. “Not only did I catch you jerking off to me, or my clothes rather, but you're letting me fuck you as well. That speaks volumes to me baby,” You shifted on your knees, finding a completely new angle. You pushed in, reaching deep. With that, Dean choked out a gasp, his eyes shooting open as he arched his back off of the bed slightly.

Almost immediately Dean let go of the sheets, bringing his hand to his mouth, covering it. He let out a couple muffled moans, really starting to sweat. Your thrusting pace quickened. It was harsh and deep. “You feelin' shy? We're alone, no one's gonna hear you, Dean.” You mumbled, looking down at your hand jerking him off. His cock twitched, leaking precum. You let out a groan at the feeling of Dean clenching around you.

At this point Dean was seeing stars behind his eyes, the feeling was entirely new to him yet it felt so good. Too good, maybe. He whimpered against his hand, his thighs tensing as they shuddered. You clicked your tongue in annoyance, not exactly directed towards him. You removed your hand from his cock and grasped his wrist, removing his own hand from his mouth so he wouldn't muffle his moans anymore. You pinned it next to his head on the mattress, almost the same as his other hand.

Of course Dean tried resisting being pinned, but you did all of that while fucking him mercilessly and relentlessly. “oh- ah! fucckk—” He bit down on his bottom lip to try and suppress his moaning. You suddenly hit his prostate with a harsh thrust, earning a loud whine from Dean, his one hand clenching into a fist, the other squeezing yours. “Nnh! Shit! Yes yes yes, just like that-” he rambled out, his chest rising and falling with each breath that he took, his lips parted.

His legs started trembling over your shoulders, toes curling. You let a soft groan leave your lips, leaning your body down again, Dean's knees inches away from his chest. He seemed more flexible than you thought. “Yeah? Feels good, doesn't it?” You said in a confident tone, letting out a soft sigh of content, your thrusts ever so slightly losing rhythm.

“Ghhh— pleaseee, pleasepleaseplease,” He whined, his muscles tensed visibly as his body spasmed, shaking his head. You abused his prostate, most likely bruised it as well. Dean squirmed underneath you, his arms aching - couldn't put his hands where he wanted with you pinning him to the bed. His cock throbbed as it was lightly pressed between the both of your abdomens. “w- I'm close! shit! i'm so close!-”

“Go on, cum for me, you've been so good,” You praised him in a softer voice, trying to keep up the same fast pace just to push Dean over the edge. His eyes shut tight, pushing his arms up in an attempt to free himself. As you noticed this, you let go of both of his hands and he almost instinctively wrapped them around your neck, pulling you in as close as possible. Without any further warning, Dean came, making a mess on his own stomach. He choked out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, panting afterwards, eyebrows only stitching together further.

“There we go, good boy,” You murmured, gasping softly as Dean's walls tightened around you. He was starting to get a bit overstimulated with the way you continued pounding into him after he came. One hand of Dean's gripped your shirt, the other holding onto the back of your neck. You felt your own climax nearing.

“Mmhhh,” You hummed out, placing open-mouthed kisses on Dean's neck as a way to distract yourself a little. You ended up only chasing your own orgasm, your cock twitching inside Dean's hole. He shuddered, fingers tangling in your hair, slightly pulling on the locks. “There- there, right there-” Dean moaned out, his voice hoarse and raspy, trying to ride down his own orgasm.

Your hips stuttered, slowly breaking the pace. You were close, almost ready to pull out. Dean felt slight emptiness near his prostate due to you not pushing back in and he whined. “N— no, no, inside, come inside.” Dean rasped out, holding you close to him. You raised an eyebrow at this, nonetheless complying with the other's request. “Fuck Dean, you're kinky,” you joked, pushing your cock all the way in.

His legs continued to shake, burying his head in the crook of your neck. “g-god,” Dean managed to speak through the string of moans and whimpers he let out. With one harsh final thrust and a groan, you came inside Dean, the warm liquid pooling inside him. He let out a shaky sigh, his grip on you loosening. You dropped your head down and leaned your forehead on Dean's shoulder, relaxing. “This fulfilled your expectations of me?” you asked, clearly out of breath. “Or do you wanna go again?” You whispered, your hands moving to remove Dean's legs from your shoulders, lowering them and making them wrap around your waist.

Dean paused as you lifted your head back up again, looking down at him. He made eye contact with you, his eyes ever so slightly teary. “You think you got enough stamina for another round?” He mocked you, his panting very audible, voice quieter than usual. “You're a little shit,” You chuckled, shifting your position to a sitting one. “You're getting what you asked for,” with a tight grip on his hips, you started moving again.

[pr-fae]

This is gonna absolutely be a NSFW GT topic post because it's fascinating to me so I'll put it under the cut

Okay so like - I've been alot more active on my non GT socials (I still post size difference over there but-) and there are 2 groups of people. 1). Others who love size difference, like, love these bitches so glad we all agree this is hot and 2). Those who have no creativity. And what I mean by that is sometimes I or mutuals who will post something romance size difference related and get the "but how do they... you know. .." comments.

I got one mutual who writes about 15 foot alien porn and everytime someone asks "how does it fit?" She just "it doesn't." And it leaves people confused like - Penetration isn't the only way to have sex? It don't have to fit for them to be freaks.

And it makes me realize like - how little creativity some people have in terms of how size difference related intimacy could be. I usually just go "use your imagination" but like - do they have one? What do you mean "its as big as she is, he would split her in 2" because 1 - hot, but on a serious 2 note: no because they'd get freaky a DIFFERENT way??? Like - it's BAFFLING to me

Maybe it's because I am a heathen but like - penetrative sex isn't even that sexy to me in the first place, I like the bitches who get creative with how their characters get it on. Get fuckin' wild

[love-bitesx]

hobie brown w a chubby reader ?? 🙏🙏

it would be such a horrific shame if any 18+ chubby hobie lovers followed me and dm’d me UGHHHH what an AWFUL thing to happen (pls god i’m begging it’s my kryptonite)

also i’m worried this is a tad afab biased, but absolutely no pronouns or afab body parts mentioned (i am plus sized so this is slight projection)

hobie brown x plus size!reader

he is in love with every single part of you. and he MEANS it.

chubby thighs, bigger arms, pudgy stomach, stretch marks, anything. it belongs to you, so he’s head over heels. he’s obsessed.

when you first met, you wore these soft, cotton pants that hugged your thighs and stomach tightly and that man thought his knees were about to give way. eyes glued to you like he’d seen heaven, he couldn’t stop staring, thoughts far from respectful. at first you were convinced he was judging you, insecure under his heavy gaze, shrinking into your skin.

but when he approached you, and his face had this sort of ‘i think you could make me believe in god’ kind of expression, you melted into him entirely.

he’d constantly buy/make/steal his clothes in bigger sizes, telling you it’s because he preferred a comfier fit. it was a lie, but he’d never admit that because one morning, you trudged out of his bedroom wearing an old t-shirt of his that he’d discarded years ago, an old band that he’d grown out of, and his poor heart doubled in size at the sight. it hugged your hips, pulling against your soft skin in all the perfect places, and he swore he felt light-headed – treasuring the image for his daydreams.

“look fuckin’ unreal, darlin’.” he’d mutter, and pull you flush against him.

you might’ve been secure in yourself and your body most of the time, but just as everyone experiences, there were nights that had you covering every part of your skin and shying away from the mirrors that haunted your walls. on these nights, hobie was there with a heart full of affection and a mouth that could say and do wonders. in his eyes, you were heaven’s descendant, and he was baffled that you couldn’t see it yourself.

gently, he’d run his hands along all the places you were insecure about, lips trailing behind closely, whispering sweet nothings into your skin. not inherently sexual, but he was prepared to do whatever it takes for you to see yourself through his love-heart shaped eyes.

picture it. date night, maybe second or third, and he was waiting outside your apartment door, leant up against the frame with his guitar slung over his shoulder, and a freshly-stolen bouquet of flowers clasped between his ringed fingers. the first date had been a success, and it was difficult to find a single second of the day where you weren’t on his mind, so he’d be lying if his chest didn’t bubble with anticipation.

“coming,” your voice hummed through the wood, and his lips curled into an excited smirk.

a wave of your scent hit him as you opened door, the hot air of your apartment spilling out into the hallway. smiling up at him, you almost felt the need to cower under his gaze – strong, trained on you as he took in your appearance.

god, you looked stunning. every single inch of clothing wrapped you perfectly, dark black attire that just held you in all the right ways, presenting every curve, every bundle of soft skin, every inch of you to him on a silver platter and his stomach was fluttering with adoration. and it was all for him.

fair to say, you skipped any prior plans you had that night.

he takes pride in you no matter what you look like, as long as your heart shares the same tenderness as his own, he doesn’t care what size you are.

[beatcroc]

alright kids we fuckin did it

and even managed to first try s-rank the final boss somehow. crazy. im pretty sure that's the only s rank i got in the entire game.

so why did i do it? how do i feel? most of the experience of playing 06 is stuff that really only matters being experienced in the moment, but i took a shot at trying to quantify why i went out of my way to play sonic 06 anno domini 2024, with some subsequent thoughts about each after having finished.

1. silver is there. i like him. it seems most people do these days; no doubt largely due to the comics, but that was absolutely not the case upon his debut. i wanted to see where the character started and if there was truly Anything salvageable from his initial appearance, or if there are any throughlines to his current characterization. verdict: yeah, like, way more than i thought there was going to be actually. it solidly exceeded my expectations here. obviously, i was will to be EXTREMELY lenient about him because hes my special little guy and he is SUCH a gift in idw; but even so he never really did anything like, wrong. like as a character i mean. he's a little annoying sure, but so are most of the characters in this game. i know this would have been infinitely worse back when it was his only appearance, but UNLIKE most of the characters in this game, he is at least also consistent. all in all he's still just kind of a hasty little fuckup here, which is much of why i like him in present.

2. the general notoriety of it. everyone knows sonic 06 is bad. you hear lots of insane stuff about all the various ways in which 06 is bad, but they all feel like such disconnected points by now. you need to get the whole picture you know. the full breadth of it. i think cultural significance for being dogshit is just as interesting as cultural significance for being brilliant. verdict: its so bad. its fascinating. there really were quite a few cool ideas in here but the execution of them all is consistently so, SO baffling. there's the utter lack of polish and functionality yeah, but even underneath that in its base design it there is just so much that's so inherently unintuitive. one really does have to wonder about it. i must, however, stress that poor execution on decent ideas [or in some cases decent execution on bad ideas like, say, omega's fucking bizzare characterization here, and really most of the plot in general especially wrt to elise] is far more forgivable to me than no ideas [most of the boost-era games If I Am Being Frank], or cool ideas with No execution [sonic forces. [i played through it about right in the middle of my 06 journey and it's amazing how that game is like the exact opposite kind of bad from 06. that one is the kind that really pisses me off, as it turns out! you would not believe how hatermoded i got during forces' short duration.]

3. it had a lot more going on than i'd realized. i'd kind of always just held 06 as "the sonic and silver game and sometimes i guess shadow is there also?" but the more i heard about it it was like "wait blaze is in this game? how does that work??" "omega is in this game? AMY is in this game???? PLAYABLE????? how does all that fit together???". in more recent years i've heard people refer to 06 as 'the last sonic game where they really tried', and now that i know my own disdain for boost era games and gameplay was NOT just me being a shitty teen, i figure it would be interesting to see what all that was about. now that the series has returned from its, shall we say, prodigal son arc, i'm in general a lot more willing to explore where things went awry. verdict: turns out it did not in fact fit together very well at all, but again, i respect a blundered attempt at something like this far more than the subsequent several years of "sonic and his one wacky gimmick partner" games that followed. i think anyone genuinely praising this game and its Quite Frankly Pretty Damn Bad characterization is insane, but i do understand the respect for its ideas; and i definitely understand the 'this game could be so good if it was good'-type obsessions. it's certainly a type i am prone to but fortunately it did not get to me with 06.

4. hubworlds. this isn't a full point in and of itself, but it's why i decided to just play the damn game as it is instead of playing project 06 and/or watching the cutscenes on youtube. it feeds largely into the second point of just wanting to experience it as a whole package; but also i just generally like the idea of hubworlds in sonic, and i like that they have missions in them here. verdict: there's not a verdict for this one as it wasn't a question or a curiosity i had. naturally, they're also not good, but i didn't go in expecting to enjoy the sonic 06 hubworlds. i just think they're nicer than only having a map screen or level select.

all in all i think it's kind of impossible for me to hate sonic 06. like at this point you know what it is. you know what it's known for, its reputation far preceeds it. i've dealt with my fair share of janky games, and it actually wasn't nearly as uniquely unplayably nonfunctional as i was expecting. it's bad but it's the amusing kind of bad, and though there's certainly no laughing with it, if you aren't laughing at it you're laughing a yourself for deliberately choosing to play this stupid fucking game 18 years later.

[pathetickuroo]

a ranking and analysis of “epic: the musical” songs so far, from someone who knows a lot about theater and not a lot about mythology

RANDOM DISCLAIMER: to reiterate from the title, i know a lot about music and theater, but NOT a lot about greek mythology. i'm trying to slowly read the odyssey as sagas release so that i'm never too far ahead but i can still have a sense of where things are going. aside from that, i have very basic foundational knowledge from vague exposure to pjo (but i never got into pjo myself LOL)

(also no one better spoil the odyssey for me in the tags or the comments i swear to god this is supposed to be about the SONGS)

putting it under the cut so people can scroll past if they want; this is long as fuck and i'm not gonna pretend it isn't.

9. the horse and the infant

i almost placed this one higher SOLELY BECAUSE OF "PENELOPE… PENELOPE, AND TELEMACHUS". (side note: low placement absolutely does not mean bad. i love every song in epic. like, excessively.) i'm probably going to talk about odysseus's voice A LOT. i love it. the reason i got into this in the first place is because back when early auditions were happening, one of the demos came up on my fyp and i was baffled by the vocals. from a plot standpoint i really like what this song does lyrically and what it shows of odysseus in particular but also how the gods interact with the mortals. zeus is immediately talking down/condescending to odysseus (which is fair because. it's fucking zeus, and also a detail that was pointed out to me by my friend), who reacts saying he "knows" he's ready for, essentially, whatever zeus throws at him… until he finds out zeus is making him kill a baby. the first two songs in the musical (this and "just a man") both reveal so much about odysseus, which is of course good because that's who we're supposed to sympathize with.

anyway. love this song. fuckin bangs.

8. just a man

normally with these early character-establishing solos i like them a little at first and then always skip them after that first listen. that's just a Thing for me. like, i know who you are now, i don't need to hear it again. but not this song. this was the first song that really told me i was gonna obsess over this musical for a long time and that it was going to ruin my life. my ONLY criticism, and it's not even a big one because it doesn't truly bother me/disrupt my listening experience at all, is that it's hard to hear any distinct emotion from odysseus for most of it. BUT I CAN'T EVEN BE MAD BECAUSE HIS VOICE IS SO STUPIDLY GORGEOUS. maybe that's hyperbole but i feel like you can't blame me for that. again as far as plot hearing odysseus's internal struggle about killing the baby is very foundational for our understanding of the character. also, the dual meaning of the lyric "when does a man become a monster" which as others have pointed out refers (most likely) both to odysseus wondering if fulfilling his end of the prophecy will make him a monster and also wondering when, if this baby grows up, it will cause whatever destruction zeus foretold… i have a lot of feelings. i like this song a lot. a LOT.

SECOND RANDOM DISCLAIMER: at some point, you will probably start to think i sound pretentious. i like my own funny words and think i am a magic man. you are allowed to not like my funny words.

7. open arms

i would like to briefly touch on how much i love steven dookie's voice before we proceed. ok thanks. ANYWAY, this to me is our first real shift away from the musical theater genre-sound, something that i love about modern theater and particularly composition. the vocal style is less theater-inspired to me, too--until the lotus eaters show up--which really speaks to the message of the song in my opinion. the laid back sound after the sort of chaos and pain of the past few songs is refreshing to me. as far as characterization it solidifies what i feel we already knew about polites just from that little bit of him we heard in full speed ahead, but shows the more caring side to his positivity (the "you can relax, my friend" refrain and variations). i also love what it shows about the dynamic between odysseus and polites, establishing further that polites isn't just a soldier but a friend. this is one of the songs that i don't have a lot to say about, truthfully, but mostly because every time i listen to it i'm just enjoying the sound LOL

6. full speed ahead

SIX HUNDRED MEN. SIX HUNDRED MEN UNDER MY COMMAND…. this is where we really meet some new characters, and their introductions--true to form for the show--show a lot about them, both right away when they show up and all the way through the end of the song too. eurylochus, the battle-minded second-in-command to odysseus, and polites, the kind-hearted best friend to odysseus, both make their positions very clear not only in their verses but i feel also in just the way that they greet odysseus/each say "captain" (but that could also just be the different qualities of their voices). re: vocals, more vocal excellence from odysseus (have i mentioned "and ithaca's waiting etc" yet?), and polites sounds so fucking good constantly, and eurylochus has such a consistent tone through his whole verse. re: polites, a lot of the other voices in this musical are kind of standard fare (respectfully! i love theater voices genuinely) for what you imagine theater actors to sound like, but polites (played by steven dookie) has such a unique tone for this medium and i love it so so much. the soldier ensemble is insane too. from a compositional standpoint i LOVE the call and response, particularly on "so, captain, what's the plan? (captain, what's the plan?)" + that section where the soldiers echo odysseus that comes right after that. i didn't think this would beat just a man when i started this, but i was very wrong. very very wrong.

5. polyphemus

i don't want to talk about plot OR musicality, first. i want to talk about sound design. the choice of the particular sound effects that were used with the reverb and the overlapping noises from the sheep paint a very clear picture indeed of polyphemus's cave. (something that definitely did not hurt to accomplish this end was the teaser video where odysseus, eurylochus, and polites were in the dark holding candles (? i think, some kind of small light sources at least).) audio panning was also present in the intro for this track, i would say up until polyphemus starts to sing it's pretty prevalent, and audio panning is my favorite thing you can do to establish spatial understanding in non-visual media. okay, moving on. in this song, odysseus directly parrots polyphemus's words and melody, and this is a theme that continues in the other songs the two are both in. this also, to me, shows that one of the layers of his plan is to make himself seem more agreeable to polyphemus (which in itself as a fact i think is rather clear in terms of plot, but i think the specific methodology from a compositional standpoint is fun). AND JUST TO SAY: the moment at the beginning where this suddenly becomes a horror musical made my heart drop through my ass in the best possible way. i had to stand up for the rest of the saga because sitting down limited my range of motion too much and i had to go insane. in terms of characterization, we know that odysseus is smart and resourceful mostly from what we hear about him from others, but i feel like this song is the first one where we see that firsthand. i love this song.

4. warrior of the mind

the first song i had to just sit with and loop for a while (i did the same with just a man, but several days later upon relisten). athena's vocals never fail to astound me, teagan earley's tone is so clear and strong, and this is kind of specific but i like the choices she made on vowel placement, particularly on that last "mind" in the first chorus. also, i'm not even going to beat around the bush: i'm a trumpet player, i've been playing trumpet for theater and in other contexts for almost a decade now, and when i heard that low trumpet line underscoring the first establishment of the melody in the chorus, i KNEW an octave kick was coming and i was THRILLED when it delivered so perfectly. i don't know if it's synth trumpet or a live musician, i assume synth just for ease of production, but either way, i'm obsessed with it. absolutely a fantastic composition choice when it comes to ramping up the energy of the second half of that chorus. again in regards to composition: obsessed with odysseus's harmonic line in the second chorus. it took me a while to pick the notes out because i go a little harmony-blind sometimes when i'm too busy ooh-ing and ahh-ing but once i got that line in my head i was all about it.

(did not think this section would be so wordy, but) what this song shows about athena in my eyes is her fondness for odysseus--which sounds obvious until you remember how zeus interacted with him vs how athena does. athena gets close to talking down to odysseus sometimes, yes, but in more of a human, sarcastic way ("you'll see where it ends"). one could argue that the entire intro is her condescending to him in some way, certainly, but when she almost immediately also establishes that she sees the merit in his skills and his mind and has for some time now, it takes away the sort of preachy sound that was there when zeus was doing it. again in the characterization vein it shows odysseus's spirit, the more childish side of him (of course, because he was younger for much of this song) that we don't get to see in the songs that are set in the "present" period. in warrior of the mind, we see odysseus, the boy. in all the other songs, we see odysseus, the king.

anyway. i adore this song. if that wasn't, like. clear.

3. survive

THE ECHO OF THE HORSE AND THE INFANT. MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR. people other than me have said that this could be a way of showing that the fight with polyphemus is the will of the gods and i can see the merit in that standpoint but i also think that this is, in this telling at least (which is a distinction i make because i started the odyssey literally today and read maybe 10 pages before i had to go to class so i don't concretely know the details), showing that this is the first real conflict odysseus and the soldiers have been in since the seige of troy. also interesting to note: this song, if i'm not mistaken, is actually in compound meter at least in certain parts (before u fight me on this take a second to count it both ways, i'm not even entirely sure because of how i've been feeling the pulse). also, this reestablishes what i said earlier about polyphemus and odysseus parroting each other, but in this case i think it's polyphemus trying to do as much damage to odysseus and the soldiers as possible, certainly more like mocking them than trying to communicate on their level. (but also, melodic repeats are kind of just how music works, lol. remember when i said u might start to think im pretentious?)

now, maybe this is my sympathetic lens for odysseus showing, i fully admit that bias and own up to any way it may skew my judgement, but in that first chorus, i feel like odysseus isn't just trying to rally his men but to find the will in himself to fight as well. after the long war in troy and being confronted with polites's ideology, i would certainly be weary and sick of fighting. something about "it's just one life to take / and when we kill him then our journey's over" sounds so self-consoling to me. idk! maybe just me!

i'm, uh. not gonna talk much about the plot at the end, there. for obvious reasons, as someone who foolishly got attached to polites. we're gonna gloss over that. (fellow polites likers, how we feelin, though? we all coping?)

2. remember them

if you'll recall from many many paragraphs ago, i mentioned that in "just a man", i felt like there wasn't much emotion in odysseus's voice. this? the intro of this? this, to me, kind of makes up for that. and i mean the VERY beginning, the anger/intensity in that first verse. something that i noticed, that the fellow polites likers will be upset with me for pointing out, is that starting on "mark my words now" and through eurylochus asking "but captain, what'll we do with our fallen friends?", the guitar in the back is playing the melody of "we're up, we're off, and away we go" from "full speed ahead", the first song we hear from polites in. (sorry guys, if i was burdened with this knowledge you will be, too.)

this song and "polyphemus" both do a really good job of establishing horror-style tension. eurylochus's "there are more of them?" and what i would call horror sirens on the strings in the beginning of polyphemus are what i mean, here. it gives that nice stomach-swoopy feeling that recreational horror is so fond of. the ramping tension when eurylochus is pleading with odysseus to order them to run is fantastic too.

re: odysseus vocals. "my friend is dead! our foe is blind! the blood we shed, it never dries! is this what it means to be a warrior of the mind?!" will never NOT make me insane. it makes me want to scream, genuinely. and via the lyrics and instrumental sound we understand the ruthlessness of odysseus's vengeful side as well. again, possibly my sympathetic lens, but "let's grab the sheep and away we go" and during the argument up to that aforementioned point, odysseus just sounds tired to me.

also, i'm sure we all collectively shat our pants when we heard athena. i don't have much to comment on the matter further than that, but know that i was losing my fucking mind as soon as i heard her voice.

last thing: odysseus's choice of words when revealing his name is interesting to me. the "infamous" odysseus? infamy has a very negative connotation and maybe that's just him acknowledging that to polyphemus he'll always be painted in a negative light due to his actions in the cave, but it's an interesting choice in verbiage to me.

1. my goodbye

you were a fool if you thought this was ever gonna get anything other than first place of all the songs that are out so far. hearing athena and odysseus tear each other to pieces was so satisfying on the second listen with the new understanding that the partnership was sort of exhausting on both ends. i confess that my first thought right after i finished this song the first time was "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" but my SECOND one was "bro really wrote a breakup song and thought we wouldn't notice (but said with a positive connotation)". as far as i understand it, and i've asked questions about this so i'm fairly certain, there was nothing romantic in nature about the relationship between athena and odysseus (which i see as a good thing), and the song sounding like a breakup song is more a fun creative choice. and i DO think it's fun, in that case! so with that interpretation in mind, when i go back to the lyrics now, i think about how odysseus's original idea that he and athena would be friends was shot down and in this song i start to feel that maybe despite athena's best efforts they DID consider each other as friends. and of course i think that's intentional--that's why "you're not looking for a mentor, i'm not looking for a friend" cuts so deep.

there's also something in the way the two characters argue with each other that i find so compelling. i feel like athena is really trying to be right, or maybe not that she's trying to be right per se but that she's trying to make odysseus understand why he's wrong. odysseus, on the other hand, seems to be trying to hurt athena as much as possible, in as few words as possible. athena's argument has one core idea, and it's that odysseus is reckless/unfit to be her disciple because he's too emotional. odysseus, on the other hand, brings up several points, like 5 or 6 different little gripes about athena that he's probably been holding onto for who-knows-how-long. it just shows how the focus is entirely different on both parts and i like it a lot LOL

vocals absolutely deliver of course, that goes without saying. and i made that point earlier about how i felt odysseus didn't show much emotion in voice, and maybe this is just me being the #1 jorge rivera-herrans defender or something but i feel like a sort of detached-ness was intentional this time. like odysseus saying, "you can't fire me, because i quit." that's not entirely me being biased, i think the language reflects it too: "this way, you'll close the door and have your damn goodbye." that sounds dismissive to me, and the way that he previously frames athena leaving as something that would be good for him ("this way, you won't plague my life").

anyway….. less of a ranking and more of a song analysis where the songs just so happen to also be ranked. this was originally gonna be on my priv twitter, but the character limit was driving me up the wall, so. here.

[wistfulcynic]

taking it slow

heyy ofmd tumblr i have written a thing. Inspired by this post.

starting with "take it slow" in ep 5 through the "missing" time between 5 and 6, then post ep 6 sex and into the innkeeper era. Sweet and sexy and funny (i hope). Have a read.

Can we take it slow? Ed had asked, and he’d meant it. I think last night was a mistake, he'd said, and at the time he meant that too. But he didn't mean let's take it slow forever and he didn't mean all sex is a mistake and he definitely didn't mean to find himself alone with Stede in their rickety soon-to-be-inn, sleeping in his arms every night and not getting laid. It's driving him out of his mind. And he intends to make that very much Stede's problem.

an excerpt:

Maybe he just doesn’t want me. 

It’s an absolutely ridiculous notion given Stede’s very obvious suffering but Ed’s sexually frustrated too and it’s seriously messing with his capacity for rational thought. He’s been throwing himself at Stede for days now and Stede’s done absolutely fuck all about it and the only explanation Ed can come up with anymore is that Stede just doesn’t want to. 

So much for I didn’t know it could be like that, he fumes, as he hammers nails into the roof with more force than is advisable, given the rickety state of said roof. So much for Oh, Ed you feel perfect. So much for the greatest sexual experience of Ed’s life, apparently it meant nothing at all to Stede. Apparently fucking Ed was so awful that Stede will go to just about any lengths to avoid doing it again. 

He works himself up into such a lather with these thoughts that when he’s done on the roof and goes back inside, the sight of Stede’s welcoming smile tips him right over the edge. 

“Oh there you are, Ed,” he says, “good. I wanted to ask you—” 

“Mate, what the fuck?” Ed yells. 

Stede’s brow knits in confusion. “What?” he says.

“You know what,” Ed snaps back. Stede’s wearing a well-worn white shirt today, so thin and open at the collar he may as well be wearing nothing. Ed wants to lick him. Just lick up that little pool of sweat that gathers at the base of his throat. Lick his pecs, bite his nipples, suck his dick—fuck. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” he growls. “I fucking won’t.” 

“Do what?” Stede looks truly baffled. “Ed, what’s wrong?” 

“What’s wrong?” Ed throws his hands in the air. “You’re asking me what’s wrong?” 

“Yes, I am.” Stede stands and cautiously approaches. “Is there anything I can do?” 

“Anything you can do?” Ed starts to laugh. “Is there anything you can do? Yes, Stede, there fucking is something you can do. You can fucking mean it when you say you love me.” 

“I—” 

“You can be honest,” Ed barrels on, ignoring his attempts to speak, “and tell me that I’m not enough for you and you hated having sex with me and you never want to fucking touch me again.” 

“Ed—” 

“And you can stop,” Ed continues, voice rising, “wearing those fucking shirts that leave your chest bare and smelling like clean sweat and the sea and hibiscus, some-fuckin’-how, and you can stop looking at me like you think I’m the greatest thing ever when you won’t fuckin’ just fuck m—” 

He’s cut off by Stede’s lips on his, hard and ravenous. Before he can fully process what’s happening, Ed finds himself slammed back against the wall with such force the whole building shakes and kissed as though both their lives depend on it. As, very possibly, they do. 

[peachymilkandcream]

Written In Blood|Part 2|Modern Yandere Levi x Evelyn

(A/N: I really wanted to explore these two more and I can honestly say an AU of them is pretty fun. Hope you enjoy and comment to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon/dubcon, graphic descriptions of violence, domestic violence, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere behaviour/themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, misogyny, etc.

===============================================

Levi knew the ins and outs of the legal system by now, with his knowledge he had easily been able to get dangerous criminals returned back in the streets to blame for his own crimes later. With many parties to blame the suspicion never fell on him. All criminals from the poor to the wealthy wanted him to represent them, knowing how he could baffle the prosecution and somehow get acquittals left and right even when the defendant was clearly guilty.

Everyone wanted his secrets, but he would keep those to himself. Finding out what poor souls were put on jury duty and charming them was his specialty. Offering a joke with some of the men, a understanding smile and feign interest as he heard another mind-numbing golf story. With the women, flirtations and promises of future intimacy to make them forget their worthless husbands or partners. Unanimously they always found his defendants not guilty.

"Ah, Mr. Schmidt was it?" He sits down, grimacing at the probably filthy chair set out for him.

"The hell do you want, some fancy rich asshole in a suit, what do you want with me? What, do I owe you money or something?"

"I'm a lawyer Mr. Schmidt, Levi Ackerman, have you heard of me?"

"Yeah I know you, you're the guy who gets everyone off with a slap on the wrist huh?"

"The same."

"I can't pay your big bucks, sorry."

"No don't worry about that, I only want to take this case because I'm curious as to the crime and why? Why go after someone so famous who could throw you in jail like this?"

"Because she's hot and rich, and who doesn't like that. But I'm telling you, she's got that rich bitch attitude that goes with it. Now I don't like that in a woman, y'know what I mean?"

"Absolutely, I feel the exact same way."

"So I figured I'd knock her down a peg or two."

"And how would you do that?"

"Break in, scare her a little, get her to drive herself crazy and then break in and fuck her 'til she's a fuckin' cum dumpster. See if she's still high and mighty then."

Deep down Levi could rip out the man's teeth, talking about his target that way disgusted him. If anyone he'd be the one doing that.

"I completely understand. Now how did you go about finding the address?"

"Apparently in one of her friend's personal posts they show the apartment number. It wasn't hard to find street and city. After that it was history."

"Now I'm obligated to ask if you regret what you did."

"Are you kidding? Fuck no. I regret that I got caught is all. "

"Good to know. And if you got back on the streets what would you do with your freedom?"

"Probably try again, now I know what her security looks like."

"Understandable."

"You're really gonna represent me even though I can't pay your fees?"

"Of course I am, not so much for you, but because I'm interested to see this woman you've taken so much interest in."

"Oh trust me, she's sexy as hell let me tell you that."

"I don't doubt it." Levi stands.

"What you don't need some more information or stuff-?"

"I'll be back for that, don't worry. See you in court."

"Yeah I guess so. Hey what are you going to do with that stuff I told you?"

Levi chuckles. "Who knows? Maybe I'll just finish what you started."

[droppingartintotheinfinite]

watched the first episode of the live action atla adaptation and took notes:

-what is this opening. who are these people. am i expected to care about this random earth kingdom man because i really don’t

-opening fight is kinda meh :/

-sozin looks weirdly… nice? like he has “harmless old man” vibes. i don’t actually dislike this casting choice i think there’s a lot of potential to having him look friendly and approachable even as he does war crimes

-seriously did someone in the writer’s room watch rogue one before coming in and then go like “HEY I KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD ADD” WHAT is this plot doing here

-where is katara’s opening narration. like i get they aren’t adapting one to one but that’s such a loss. the opening cutscene from the original series was so good

-WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GAANG SERIOUSLY. WHY ARE WE STARTING WITH RANDOM EARTH KINGDOM MAN AND SOZIN

-all of these people are so fucking sweaty what is this

-sozin’s outfit is appropriately fuckable

-“my sights… are set… higher… because… it is… our time…” “[screaming]” wow very emo

-KATARA IS HERE!! MY BEST GIRL

-why did they change the narration. this is objectively worse.

-oh no this isn’t katara is it… dang :(

-air temple looking neat. why are we here tho. where are katara and sokka

-why is everyone watching aang jumping around like he’s a fucking celebrity. have they never seen an airbender before in the fucking air temple

-at least they say aang’s name right. step up from shamalalalam or whatever his name is. of course that bar is so low the devil declared it a tripping hazard, so

-these people do NOT talk like actual humans. have these writers never had to write natural exposition before

-genuinely what was the point of that first scene. WHAT does it add

-“when yangchen died the next avatar was born into the water tribe” what, does aang not know this. my fucking god this exposition is shit

-aang didn’t know he was the avatar?? and then didn’t immediately get an ego about it when gyatso told him??? who is this and what did you do with my BOY

-the acting isn’t bad but the lines are so shit it’s hard to tell

-aang is NOT sufficiently goofy

-appa’s kind of ugly :(

-TEAM ROCKET’S BLASTING OFF AGAIN (<— my unfiltered reaction to sozin going jetpack mode)

-unnecessary airbender fight scene. i think this is literally just here to look cool and honestly? 6/10

-aang just fuckin… wandered off? instead of willfully running away? bro you can’t take my boy’s agency like this

-i want a video of appa’s va making those noises into the mic. come on netflix do it it’ll be funny

-WHY is everything so WET all the time

-20 minutes in and i have yet to see the south pole. literally none of this is necessary to the story. you could cut all of it and nothing would change

-HERE SHE IS. FINALLY. IT’S HER

-no funny boat scene with sokka? insert no bitches megamind here

-oh they still have a boat scene. unfortunately it sucks ass

-WHERE IS PISSED OFF KATARA DECIMATING AN ICEBERG BY ACCIDENT

-seriously. they’re removing all the good scenes to fit more unnecessary action and/or melodrama filler in

-shitty zuko cameo

-WHAT is that scar. why is it so small. did he fall and get a scrape on his face? looks more like a scab than anything. 2/10

-baffling why the iceberg even reacted to katara when she’s apparently so fucking incapable she can’t even lift a water orb. they’re massacring my girl

-why does sokka want to leave this random child to die

-kanna!

-“it can’t be… this… is an airbender…..” i am rolling my fucking eyes

-iffy on this iroh so far but i’ll reserve judgement

-tumblr was right. zuko’s actor is absolutely putting his whole pussy into this. he can have rights

-how are NONE of these jokes landing. even the ones they directly crib from the original just… lose all impact

-why is kanna saying the intro dialogue randomly with no prompting. seriously these writers are SO. FUCKING. SHIT

-every emotional beat in this comes off more wooden than a fucking tree

-seriously. everything i could say about this just boils down to the wooden writing, unnecessary and poorly executed exposition, the action scenes shoehorned in for no discernible reason, inability to create any impact from anything ever, and the removal of all the good scenes from the original in favor of more unnecessary poorly written TRASH

-oh one more thing actually

-AANG TEACHES KATARA TO WATERBEND. GET OUT??

-basically

-they took all the good stuff out to fit in more melodrama and action, but their writing (and directing. and acting) is too shitty to actually sell said drama and their fight scenes are mid at best

-3/10

[lainalit]

hey, about your sjm's abelism against lucien, i'd just like to say i 100% agree!! i'd like to point at other abelist things in sjm's writing and i apologize in advance bc this might be long.

as a disabled person, yeah sjm is pretty fuckin abelist, unintentional or not. tower of dawn's disability storyline starts out as ehh to downright awful as it employs the abelist fantasy trope of *~magical healing*~. although chaol comes to accept disability and others who are disabled by the end (which is good!), he gets fully healed :/ also yrene's treatment of him in the beginning was atrocious. telling him to stand up even though he couldn't?? it read like an abusive medical care worker

on acotar-related things, i disliked how feyre's father is depicted as useless until his death, where he "finally does something" buuut it ends with him dying. if someone is ill enough that they cannot do anything, calling them useless and then killing them when they save the day gives me the ICK.

finally, the way nesta's mental health was handled was abelist (same could be said with feyre and tamlin in their own ways) sjm cannot depict PTSD/trauma consistently or, hell, equally between her characters. her knowledge of this disorder seems so misinformed, either that or she purposefully cherry picked qualities, which is an awful way to portray any disorder. nesta's """healing""" in acosf was absolutely miserable. sorry not sorry but i don't think getting dicked down, chocolate, and meditation will help anyone get better from literal Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!! it's giving a middle aged white woman telling my disabled ass "have you tried yoga?"

anyway, sorry about my rant 😭 as someone who liked sjm as teen during early tog and acotar book 1, i am. very bitter sometimes.

Hi,

It is definitely good to get a perspective from someone who has a disability rather than from someone like me who is ablebodied and only has family members who are disabled, so my perspective is limited in that regard, so thanks for your views on the matter.

I hadn't read ToG yet, so I can't judge if it's ableist or not, but if it's true, like you said with the whole magic healing, then that's pretty bad, especially if she has no knowledge or even personal relations with topics like paralysis. The thing is magic healing in itself; I don't hate so much. It makes sense in a fantasy setting to maybe have advanced healing abilities, but to outright make a character who is disabled to completely heal and have no side effects or struggles later on is such bullshit, and this trope should die out as it is right now.

The problem with Papa Archeron I have is that he is a nonexistent character till the end. I don't know why sarah even bothered to write him in the story; he hasn't even gotten a name.

Also, his health problems are so vaguely described that I often forgot that he had any, and the fact that he is a deadbeat makes it even more atrocious that she portrays a man with physical and mental health problems as such an unlikeable throwaway character.

Don't get me started on Nesta. I hated every second of Acosf; everybody was constantly dogpilling on her, and for what?

Did she have problems and made mistakes? absolutly, but why is the inner circle (besides elain and feyre) in nestas business? Like,  nobody besides her sisters truly cared for her and wanted her to get better; they just wanted her powers and making her amiable so she could sit with them on their stupid dinner table and fondle rhysass ballsack.

The fact that they know to some extent that mental health problems existed in the night court since we got the library with the sa survivors, but the ic couldn't fathom to maybe just ask some healer what the best course of action for nesta is since she obviously struggles, is so baffling to me.

But since SJM thinks hiking/ training= therapy, I'm not surprised by anything anymore.

Don't worry, rants here are always welcome💙

[dontknowmanijustworkhere]

Summary: Ian finds out that Mickey is ticklish and like a good husband, takes full advantage of the situation. That includes enlisting Lip to help torture him

If anyone else has any requests for these two, I'd love to do it!

@ally2747

___

Finding out his husband was ticklish absolutely delighted Ian.

After a long day of work, shitty, whiny clients and dealing with Mickey's dumb fuck cousins (his words, not Ian's), Mickey was more than ready to be done with the day and go to bed.

"Hey," Ian was in the doorway of their room. Mickey had already taken off his uniform, stripped down to his boxers and a shirt. "You okay?"

Mickey shrugged. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, man."

But Ian did worry. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching Mickey play around on his phone. Swiftly, he plucked the phone away, ignoring Mickey's protest of, "The fuck, Ian?" and curled up beside him.

"I gotta worry," Ian kissed his temple. "You're my husband."

Mickey softened, recalling those exact words he'd said to Ian. It was just the trick to getting him to open up. "I'm fine, man. Just tired and shit."

Ian nuzzled his hair. "You're tense, baby. I hate to see you like this."

"I'll be better in the morning, E."

He inhaled deeply, relishing in the scent of his husband's hair. "How about I try to make you feel better?"

"Yeah? How?"

"Can I give you a massage?" Ian fully expected him to reject the idea on account of it being too fucking gay. To his surprise, Mickey didn't immediately veto it.

"You ain't gonna tell anyone?" Mickey was hesitant.

Ian shook his head. "I promise."

"Fuckin fine," Mickey mumbled. "Do whatever..."

"Okay, lay on your stomach," Ian rolled his eyes fondly when Mickey sighed heavily. He did it, chin on the pillow. Ian came to sit on his knees beside him. "I'm gonna put my hands under your shirt, okay?"

"Jesus, Ian. I'm not a fucking pussy, just do it," Mickey complained.

Muttering about asshole husbands under his breath, Ian got started. He worked from the top at his shoulders and down to his sides.

So far, Mickey was silent, just taking it all in. At least once, Ian leaned down to kiss the back of his head. Mickey liked to whine about how clingy he was but he was just stirring up shit. He loved it as much as Ian did.

Ian didn't think anything of it as he gave Mickey's side a squeeze. It wasn't intentional to make him laugh. So it threw him off to hear his husband stifling his laughter?

"Are you laughing?" He said, baffled.

"Fuck- no! Just get on with it."

Maybe he'd imagined it. The sound had been pretty quiet anyway. Then again, he didn't think he imagined it.

So he repeated the action.

This time, Mickey's giggles were a little clearer.

Holy shit, Ian thought when Mickey choked back some more laughter, squirming beneath him.

"Are you ticklish?" Ian said with a big grin.

"Fuck yhohohou is what I am," Mickey snickered.

Just to be a little shit, Ian lightly tickled those sides again, slow and soft. As desperate as Mickey was to keep himself quiet, it was all for nothing. He laughed, it was loud and made Ian's heart skip a beat.

He wanted to hear it again.

"Sh-shit!" Mickey cried through his laughter, trying to make himself smaller to escape Ian's fingers.

"You're so ticklish," Ian was grinning. "Oh my God, your laugh is so fucking cute."

"Nohohoho I'm nhohohot," Mickey was howling, bunching up his shoulders even though it did no good.

"Sure seems that way, Mick," Ian said cheekily. He went a step further, climbing onto Mickey to pin him down so he couldn't get away. "Whatcha gonna do about it, Tough Guy? Huh? Whatcha gonna do if I tickle you here?"

He trailed his fingers towards Mickey's stomach, snickering at the thrashing his husband was doing.

"Nhohohot thehehere!"

Ian smirked at the rise in octave. "Not there? What about here?" He went up higher to where his ribs were. That turned out to be a good spot. Mickey wiggled around frantically, which wasn't much since he could barely move, his laughter fucking adorable, not to mention uncontrollable so Ian let up a bit. The tickling slowed down so he was only giggling.

And as Ian looked down at Mickey who was trying to recover from the tickle attack, he already knew he was gonna be taking advantage of this.

___

"No fucking way," Lip said in disbelief. "Mickey?"

Ian nodded. "I swear to God it's true."

No one else was awake. The two brothers lounged around on the couch, with Ian who ended up telling Lip all about the previous night.

"And he was.... laughing?" Lip clarified.

"Hysterically," Ian said, a grin peeking through.

"Holy shit."

"I know."

"And how was he afterwards?" Lip asked. "Was he pissed off?"

"Not too bad. I think he might've been a bit embarrassed."

"Makes sense. Never thought a Milkovich would be ticklish."

"You never tried to tickle Mandy?" Ian said.

"And get punched in the throat? Nah man. It never got like that between us," Lip said with that fairway look in his eyes that meant he was getting lost in last memories.

Ian drank from his beer bottle. "You wanna help me tickle Mickey, then?"

"What?" Lip said with a startled laugh.

Ian shrugged.

"....Why?"

"Come on, Lip. Weren't you just complaining about Mickey being a smartass the other day?"

"He's always a smartass," Lip said.

"Yeah, but you were being pissy the other day so it worked you up more than usual."

Lip stared, unimpressed.

"You could get some payback," Ian said enticingly.

Lip didn't have to think twice.

___

Ian waited until no one else was home to enact the plan. He didn't want to actually embarrass Mickey, at least not in front of the whole family.

It so happened to be their day off so he and Mickey were chilling in the living room, watching a shit ton of TV. Lip came inside from the RV, meeting Ian's eyes.

"Hey."

Ian greeted his brother. Mickey just grunted, his focus on the television and nothing else.

"Mind if I join you?" Lip said casually. "Tami took Freddie to see her parents and I don't gotta go in until later."

"Sure," Ian responded.

Lip plopped down on the empty spot on the couch. This jostled Mickey and he finally tore his eyes away, glaring.

"The fuck are you doing?"

"Sitting down," Lip said.

"Get your own fucking spot. We ain't sharing."

Ian shrugged. "I don't mind."

"You shut the fuck up," Mickey said, annoyed. To Lip, he said, "Move along, College."

"That's not very nice, Mick," Lip smirked.

"So fucking what? Whatcha gonna do about that, Tough Guy?"

"Funny you say that," Lip said. "Because Ian told me how ticklish you are."

Mickey froze. He tried to sit up but in an instant, him and Lip had him pinned. "Get the fuck off me!" He hollered.

Lip smiled evilly, digging his fingers into Mickey's sides. Ian watched his husband squirm, biting down on his bottom lip to suppress his giggles.

"Come on, Mick, don't hold it in," Lip taunted.

"Here, let me try," Ian followed suit, scribbling all over his husband's stomach.

Mickey had little to no resistance to the double attack. He burst into loud, screechy laughter. There wasn't much room for him to wiggle away. He was simply forced to take it.

He was laughing so hard that all his pleas came out like gibberish.

"Galla- sthahahp! Oh my Gohohod!"

"Whatcha gonna do about it, Tough Guy?" Lip mocked. He and Ian quickly walked their fingers up and down his sides.

"Not thehehere!" Mickey screeched.

"Holy shit, man. You weren't kidding," Lip grinned. He scratched at Mickey's ribs, his grin widening when the other man practically squealed. "I'm barely touching him."

"I wonder if Mandy knows how sensitive you are?" Ian asked with a smirk.

"I'm gonna fucking kill yhohohou," Mickey was able to overpower Lip, falling to the floor with a thud to get away. But unfortunately for him, Ian was bigger and stronger than he was. He easily re-captured his husband, shouting to his brother,

"Get his feet!"

"No!" Mickey flailed his body around. "Don't you fucking dare!"

Lip, of course, was eager to get revenge on his brother-in-law for all the smart ass comments over the years. He grabbed one of Mickey's socked feet, wasting no time in dragging his nails along the trapped foot. He was visibly gleeful hearing Mickey emit high pitched noises.

"Tickles, huh?" Lip taunted.

Ian chuckled.

"Sthahahp, phehehwase."

"I don't know," Lip deliberately slowed his fingers down, scratching under Mickey's toes, pretending to be in deep thought. "I don't think I should."

Mickey's jerking was growing weaker. He was just laying there helpless, laughing harder and harder.

"Plhehehease."

"But Mick, you're laughing so hard," Ian teased.

"You know, I might be able to be persuaded," Lip said smoothly. "If you tell me I'm a genius."

"Fhuhuhuck no."

Lip shrugged. "Then don't. Have it your way."

With Mickey jerking less, Ian was able to hold a hold of his wrists so he could keep tickling him also. He shot his hand towards Mickey's underarm, pleased at the new stream of giggles that flowed from him.

"You wanna try that again?" Lip said nonchalantly.

Mickey only held out for a few more seconds.

"Okay, okhahahay!" He cried out, tears of laughter falling. "You're a fuckin ghehehius!"

Lip was smug. "You think we should stop now?"

"Nah," Ian smirked.

"The fuck? No. Fucking stop you assholes- hahaha!" Mickey fell into another bout of laughter when the brothers resumed.

[sanityshorror]

Why are people so mean to you? You're literally one of the nicest people of interacted with on the internet

Long answer below cut

Many reasons, though none which are actually legitimate lol. I mean, yeah I can absolutely be a massive fuckin ass, BUT if I popped off on someone, it's because they really, really, really put time and effort into having got me to that point.

Another reason is that a certain person who used to be a 'friend,' ... Well it's a whole can of worms but ultimately, the final result was her purposely lying in order to set me up to make me look like a terrible person, then wrote an entire ass book of a callout which was 95% just blatant lies and beyond distorted 'truths' to the point it wasn't even true.

Additionally, people make just... wildly incorrect assumptions about me ("sanity thinks he's better than everyone and has the biggest ego!" Or "sanity is so mean!")... despite knowing jack shit about me. It's so baffling given the fact my blog and everything I post is my CONTENT. I am not my content, I am just the creator.

Let's see... What else...... OH! I'm very edgy boi. And have very dark humor. GOD FORBID!

Oh, another reason is because even though I don't talk about it... Like... Ever. I have been open about the fact that, yes, I do look at and watch gore tapes. However, I never brag about that (anyone who does is fucking stupid), it's not a flex. I very vocally discourage people from going to look themselves, and have never, will never, tell anyone how to find it let alone send them direct links. I've been asked by people before, I blocked all of them without replyiny. AND SO, WHY DO I WATCH GORE? I am an extreme horror creator. I am a splatterpunk author and artist who does a lot of horror illustration that include gore. It's legitimately for RESEARCH /serious. And that should be obvious to anyone. I'm also going to mention that yes, real gore footage and images are completely legal unless it involves CSA - that is beyond illegal. Just the thought of that type of gore makes me physically ill. I never never nor will I ever look at illegal gore. Kids being harmed is a massive trigger for me and ugh- i just want to puke at the idea of someone seeking it out.

Hmmm...OH! Because ASF is my favorite movie. Why is it my favorite? Because it IS uncomfortable. It portrays horrific things that happen in the real world, and shows these things graphically. It's not supposed to entertain, IT'S SUPPOSED TO UPSET YOU. Yes, I'm working on a video essay explaining the importance of ASF.

Aaand people are sent into tizzies over...😨😨 EXTREME HORROR😨😨 SERIAL KILLERS THAT ARE ACTUALLY A REALISTIC PORTRAYAL OF SERIAL KILLERS 😨😨😨 GOD FUCKING FORBID?! UNACCEPTABLE 🙄

Also, because Julius and Killian are supposedly me fetishizing mlm. I AM A PANSEXUAL MAN. And frankly, if people actually bother to read about their dynamic then go talk to MLM folks IRL... You'd realize that Julius and killian are the farthest thing from fetishizing.

Hmmm... And at the core of it all? Yes, this is going to sound up my ass but the ultimate reason? Jealously.

It seems like more people hate me than actually do, just because the ones who hate me are really fucking loud and can't keep my name out of their mouth (even though I forget or don't even know they exist until they somehow wind up on my radar). And a few certain people have about 50+ alts that they use to never stfu about me.

As for Chris Piss, that's completely different from the usual stuff. Slimebeast is...sure something.

[canonicallyanxious]

Some quick and dirty gay chicken thoughts before I go into work:

I am loving the discussion of class issues so far, the nuance of the conversation and Wen's relative privilege (different levels of privilege though, esp with the focus on Heart's family home as a setting this ep), the way this presents a perpetually present undercurrent of conflict and realism that really sets the tone of the show and its themes well, I'm super looking forward to seeing how that thread develops!

Love the relationship developing bw Wen and Li Ming, I think it's so sweet that Li Ming can find someone who can listen to him without judgment and basically act as a calm mentor figure (did cringe when Wen tried to relate to his situation with his experience changing majors but I think you're supposed to, again that undercurrent of socioeconomic inequality is always present in the relationships of these characters) when he has such a contentious relationship with the other adult figures in his life, and you know I'm always a hoe for an older queer mentor/younger queer mentee relationship, even if so far the queerness doesn't explicitly factor into this particular relationship I do very much think that subtext is still there esp with the implications of how out of place Li Ming feels as a queer teenager versus how assured Wen is with his sexuality

As well I like that having this relationship develop gives Jim more reason to trust and like Wen - idk I just think Jim sees how sweet Wen is to his cat and his nephew and the things that are important to his life and how he seems to understand how they're important to Jim and like there's no way he's immune to that u know

Don't have much intelligent to say about Heart and Li Ming's relationship I just think it's very sweet and refreshing to have this relatively uncomplicated young love blooming in the face of all the drama brewing up, and Fourth and Gemini are totally nailing that tone of first love so far! My one nitpick about the storyline is I wish they had subtitles for Heart's signing esp now that Li Ming is sort of able to pick up what he means better now - I know you can kind of sus out meanings through Li Ming's responses but I just think it's a bit of a baffling choice not to make a storyline focusing on deafness more accessible

Jim's tragic backstory of his ex partner cheating on him is a very interesting choice in light of I still have no fuckin clue what is happening with Wen and Alan. I'm scared of this storyline and already have my reservations honestly lol but I will wait and see before passing judgment bc I've been really into the writing of the rest of the show so far (also the actual flashback really had me in my feelings... Uncle Jim you deserve all the happiness in the world.......)

(like it's weird that both Wen's father and close friend seem super nonchalant about him obviously having chemistry with this man when they also know about his relationship with Alan right. It's weird that Wen's dad who he has a close relationship with doesn't seem to know if Wen and Alan still together or not but also had that very foreboding line about needing to be unattached when you come together with a new lover. Whatever the fuck is going on there.)

I will never not find it funny that Jim is really out here like "okay this is strictly sex, purely physical, we won't kiss on the mouth or even learn each other's names and there will be absolutely no strings attached" and then still somehow managed to have the most tender one night stand sex I have ever seen. Like Uncle Jim idk what purely physical no feelings or strings attached sex looks like to you but somehow I have the feeling that reverently caressing your lips over every inch of another man's body while tenderly clasping his hand long into the night isn't it

[vampire-caprisun]

Accidents

Hey everyone looks like I have a new hyperfixation. Im completely ruined by this man and I don't even own the game yet so forgive any inaccuracies for the time being. I went ahead and made a character anyway with some very noncanon elements for the sake of interesting storytelling. Hope you like my trash!

Character is a female Drow Ranger named Inala

Warnings for violence

__________________________________________

"Had enough arseholes!?" Karlach shouted as she cleaved her target in two with a single swing. Gale provided her more cover and Astarion had jumped out from the shadows to violently stab a gnoll in the chest from behind tossing the corpse to the floor with a blood lust filled grin as he licked his dagger. Inala was protecting Gale providing coverfire and a well placed hatchet to the face of anyone who got too close for comfort. "Shit" she cursed as a boulder headed straight for their position and all she could think was to grab the wizard at her back and roll causing him to yelp in surprise. The drow was sitting on top of him and fired off another round of flaming arrows at the attacking gnolls who had saw an opportunity to lunge. The position looked rather compromising to anyone outside looking in but the ranger wasn't about to lose their magic user to being uncomfortable. 

"Are you crazy! If I had been casting a fireball you'd be burning right now!" Gale shouted from below as she held off a particularly big opponent with a volley of arrows till Karlach could come in and engage.

"A thank you for not letting me die would have also worked!" Inala shouted back and rolled off him burying her hatchet into her enemies leg and tripping him to the ground. Adrenaline surged through the ranger's veins as she pivoted again to protect their wizard sending arrows through eyes and chests as more angry gnolls descended upon them. Inala yanked Gale up by the arm who was standing way too close to him for comfort. Gale sniffed and cocked an eyebrow. "Are you wearing perfume?!" He asked her absolutely baffled as to why she smelled like death and lavender at the same time. "Mind your business especially in the middle of a fucking gnoll camp. But yes I am." She spun around and shot another attacker once in the foot to pin them then slashed at their middle with her hatchet the sickening thud of organs splattered into the dirt. "Oh thats just delightful" the wizard gagged and conjured a blast of fire to clear the surge of enemies that had charged them. "Im just doing what you pay me for!" Inala laughed and swept her cloak to parry a blow, landing an ac blow to the side of the assailant's head. "No one is paying you! You're just being violent for the hell of it!"

"So I have fun on the job! Big deal!" 

"Thats my fuckin girl!" Karlach shouted "What smell are ya wearin!?" 

"I'll tell you the brand after, Karlach darling!" Astarion had suddenly appeared to protect their wizard's flank catching him off guard as Inala took her chance to vanish into shadows.

"Aww thanks fangs!" The teifling teased him and the vampire gave her a cute grin and rested his cheek on one of his daggers before maiming someone else. 

"You're buying her perfume now?" Gale raised an eyebrow 

"What's that supposed to mean? I am capable of being nice you know. Besides she did me a….*ahem*… favor." Astarion wiggled his eyebrows as he plunged his daggers backwards into an attacker. 

"Oh yes we all know about the favors you're not exactly quiet about it." 

"I told you everyone was going to fucking talk about this!" A voice in the shadows called out as a storm of arrows rained down upon the group. 

"Who wants to bet she's blushin in the dark!" Karlach shouted.

"I'm going to fucking shoot you Karlach!" The trees rustled and branches snapped in the direction of the voice. 

Astarion grabbed a fallen shield to block a spear turning his attention back to Gale. 

"Jealous?" He tutted. "My my Gale what would Mystra think?" He let out a giggle half out of breath, dropping the shield and standing up licking blood off his arm. 

"I don't need to be having this conversation right now in the middle of a literal fight." He scowled at the vampire. "Besides, at least Mystra cared about me." Gale said lowly. Astarion glared back at him and blocked another spear sailing towards the wizard, he twisted around and pulled a dagger to his companion's back. 

"Remember Gale, to keep your hands to yourself when she rolls you to safety." He hissed and the wizard stared at him shocked at the off color display from Astarion of all people. 

"Now whos the jealous one, vampire." The wizard spat but both kept professional. 

What the fuck was that. Inala thought as she watched the exchange looking to pick off whoever was leading this large camp of gnolls. But that display she just witnessed had her palms sweaty and her entire face was probably flushed. She saw an attacker go for Karlach and fumbled, her arrow dropped to the ground pathetically. Astarion took notice and gave her a curious but mischievous half grin, the gears already turning in his head. "Oh I fucking hate him." The drow muttered to herself knowing his vampiric hearing probably picked it up. Astarion chuckled darkly and faced down another assailant. 

Inala quickly took aim again, in his little moment Astarion had allowed two more gnolls to slip by them and he hadn't seen the second one yet that was approaching from behind, she took her shot and missed. Instead, the arrow grazed her paramour in the ass. The vampire let out a strangled yelp and turned to see what hit him, grateful he could even still stand. He saw the crow feathers sticking out from the arrow hanging in his left cheek and immediately knew the source. 

 He yelled at the trees absolutely furious "You fucking shot me! You said you don't miss!" 

Inala immediately dropped from her perch, luckily Karlach had stepped in and the remaining gnoll were retreating. The vampire stalked towards his prey nearly running.

"I'm in danger-" Inala was able to breathe as his hand reached her. She was in his grasp before she could get a word in and their other two companions protested their ranger being dragged off when reinforcements could arrive at any minute but the wounded vampire was too heated to care. 

Astarion had her slammed up against the tree she had been sitting in and a moment later his icy breath was prickling her skin through angry pants. "What the FUCK Inala!" He all but hissed at her. The drow fought back "What do you mean what the fuck? How about what the fuck was that with Gale!"

"You shot me!" He growled again.

"Oh great now they're having a lovers tiff on the battlefield!" Gale sighed. "Next time Inala wants to steal an powerful item from an entire fucking gnoll pack dont invite me if he's involved." The wizard groaned. 

"Well she did shoot him in the arse." Karlach said matter of factly. And they both turned to search for more attacking gnoll.

Meanwhile their leader and the vampire of her affections continued to quarrel. Astarion pulled the arrow out and threw it to the side not even wincing when he did so.  

"I've seen you hit butterflies midair how the fuck do you hit my ass!?" He continued to yell.

"Why would you think I'd want to hit your ass! I love your ass!" Inala yelled back 

The silver tongued rogue attempted to spin a comeback but felt his white locks rustle with the breath of something large behind him. The ranger in his grasp went completely still. 

"Oh shit" Inala whimpered. "F-found their leader." the huge gnoll behind them snarled at them and Astarion quickly pulled the both of them to the ground as the beast swung her axe. The force nearly took the tree down as the two assassins rolled away. Karlach and Gale had already begun to rush to their aide. 

"Need a boost please!" Inala called out as she got up to run the giant gnoll had now freed her ax and turned her attention back to the pair. 

"Fine just don't shoot me again!" Astarion yelled at her and hoisted her into the tree branch she was headed for the creature was almost upon them. The drow dropped on top of it then fired three arrows into the gnoll's head as it was nearly on top of Astarion. The beast dropped to the ground Inala sliding up to him with it. 

"See didn't shoot you!" She panted 

"You're going to be the death of me woman!" Astarion could do nothing but groan a sigh of relief. 

_______________________________________

Wellp hope you all enjoyed my garbage I'll be working on more stuff with these two as I learn more about the game. No hate to Gale I just love to poke fun at him.

[fktonofwhatnow]

Is anyone else absolutely terrified of how SJM is going to write Elain's book because I AM

I think it's time I finally actually try to put a cohesive post together about the world building of this series because uhhhhh it's BAD.

Ok so, pretty generic epic dark fantasy setting right? Pinnacle of Pinterest fantasy boards with high contrast-low exposure pictures of fancy dresses and knives and men's abs and vague enough cultural references that it's not enough to be appropriation but you know it's ethnic and stolen images of people's dragon age elf OCs--

Anyways, this all ties into Elain, and her powers and stuff. Bc if your world is build just on the aesthetic, your magic system will suffer. It would be okay to not have a thought out magic system, and there are ways to have a vague magic system (e.g, The Chronicles of Narnia, LoTR, stuff like that) that work, but uh... Not if you give every single one of your characters epic magical powers. It... Kinda has to make sense in order for the story to make sense, you can't just pull this shit out of your ass, hate to break it to you. If your magic doesn't have rules, then your world doesn't have rules, and then your story doesn't have rules. And then why do we even care about the conflict, can't the characters just idk, blast their enemies into oblivion, since they can do whatever they want? You see what I'm saying?

Like ok, Nesta's power already makes no sense. I thought Feyre was the most powerful ever but now Nesta is the most powerful ever and I'm concerned to see how Elain is gonna top that.

And the thing about that IS: Elain is gonna have to be the most powerful in her own book right

It's actually an issue I've noticed in a lot of people who make characters: their characters always have to be the best and the strongest. I used to rp with a few friends, and I stopped doing so bc their characters always had to be better than mine, regardless of how good I established my own characters were, or how good my canon muses canonically were. My friends wouldn't let my characters be better than them. (They also always blamed my characters for every misunderstanding like conflict doesn't drive plot and my characters didn't also have thoughts and feelings of their own cough couGH sound familiar Mrs Maas)

In the entirety of ASOSF, I was out here BAFFLED by the amount of time SJM spent trying to prove that Nesta was the new strongest and best ever, while also trying to make sure that we knew that Feyre and Rhysand (mostly Rhysand bc Feyre was preggers uwu) were the still the strongest and best ever, and at some point I was like "why do these people still have problems" bc Briallyn was a plot point for like half a chapter before they straight up kicked her ass and then the next biggest problem was Feyre not being able to have a baby...? I though y'all were the strongest and best ever, can't y'all just reset the entire universe if it suits your fancy JJBA style at this point?

Ok so back to Elain....

Yeah so like, my question is: How is Elain's super vague and cryptic and horribly written poetic "Seer" power gonna top all this? (watch her be the one who can open fuckin portals n stuff just watch)

I would absolutely love it if Elain's book is just a slow(er) paced love(ish) story and it's soft and gentle and we don't need to demolish kingdoms and create portals into the multiverse and find random vague magical items with little to no sound worldbuilding behind them besides a keysmash of a name and another ancient war

It would be so cool if Elain gets to be the one doing the rebuilding, maybe she goes to help the Summer Court out, or maybe even the Spring Court! Maybe she meets sweet new friends and forms long lasting and meaningful relationships! My girl needs to feel needed, and she needs to help those in need.

But watch them have to find even more weird artifacts and stuff that only Elain can control or whatever and there's some new random enemy with no sound worldbuilding behind them either bc SJM Couldn't pull a character plot twist to save her damn life like god FORBID Eris actually have ulterior motives and be like evil or whatever nah we have to hear all about this random new guy who is terrorizing the Night Court now and then there's an ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS love triangle/square with Lucien in there bc I guess he really hasn't suffered enough yet and also Gwyn even though she's new BUT Azriel looked at her like twice so its fair game I guess-

Or maybe the whole book will just be about Azriel and how he's into a bunch of kinky shit idk I bet it will be tho-