#so i am TIRED and things are going much slower

[tangledinink]

*casey jones enters the set* *live studio audience applauds*

✩ the gemini ✩ [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]

[moonfurthetemmie]

School kicked our asses today and kept us busy; sorry about not answering any of the H!DS asks

though maybe I should. say something before I go to bed NAJSJS

[kawaiianimeredhead]

It's fun to make things for work parties but also I do not make enough food to be confident other people will like my food. I'm not very picky and even if I don't love something I'm fine with almost anything especially if I've made it

And so like. What if it's actually bad....

[hoshbrownie]

neg in tags

[yun-fangz]

San twitter links — Dom ver.

Pairing: San x fem!reader

a/n: HELLOOOOO AGAIN! thank you all for the support, im glad you all are enjoying these as much as i am. i want to say thank you again anonies for requesting another member, funny enough, san was one of the next members i was planning to do. 🫣 enjoy!

masterlist.

links/warnings below the cut. mdni 18+, content below.

warnings/tags: twt links, dom san!, certified ass lover!san, unprotected sex, backshots, spanking, dry humping, car sex, cunnilingus (fem rec) fingering, breeding kink, overstim, multiple orgasms, pet play, thigh riding, hand kink, manhandling, brat taming (sorta)

san loves rubbing you through your panties and hearing your whines and pleads for him fuck you. He'd coo as you buck against him, only for him to give your pussy a sharp spank, telling you to be good and maybe he will. link.

needy little thing, san would have you like this in the passenger seat as he drives. he'd rub slow circles around your aching clit as you try your hardest not to writhe under his touch. his favorite thing to do was edge you for as long as he could before pulling off to a secluded area and tossing you to the back, devouring you as if it were his final meal.

my favorite ass loving man.... backshots are a must. he loves having you spread out on your knees as he pushes his cock into you, watching in enjoyment as you immediately get to work rocking back against him. the way your ass moved against him has him quickly losing his composure though as he grabs your hips to meet you halfway, slowly but surely fucking you deep into the mattress. link.

on slower, more intimate nights, san loved to get you off on his fingers. you were spread wide while he toyed with your sensitive pussy. you let your head rest on his shoulder, letting out the sweetest moans he's ever heard. he'd bring you to your release over and over again before eventually pushing you down and ruining you one last time on his cock. link.

you had been misbehaving all day, sending him risky texts and photos while he was at work. the moment he got home he'd waste no time shedding you of your clothes and pounding deep into you, grumbling angrily about how embarrassing it was to walk around sporting a half boner all day. he'd fuck you hard and fast, giving your ass a sharp slap as he did as he pleased. little did he know this was your plan all along, loving how rough he treats you when you misbehave. link.

tsk tsk, another day of you being naughty, causing san to bend you over and spank you back into place with one hand while the other fucks you into oblivion. each time you'd near your peak, he'd go harder, only to pull away at the last moment, causing you to cry and beg for release. but what good is a punishment if you don't learn your place? link.

san loves having you, his pretty kitty, rub your pussy along his muscular thigh, observing how you whine and twitch each time he flexes the muscle. he'd notice how tired you get, as he settles his hands on your hips, guiding you softly on his thigh and pushing you further towards your high. link.

san who loves holding you down by your hips as he makes out with your pussy. he'd take his time running his tongue up and down your folds before circling your clit, holding you firmly on the mattress to prevent you from moving. hearing your whines and soft moans only spurs him on, pushing his face deeper into your cunt and eventually getting lost in the way you taste. link.

you mentioned in passing once on how nice it would be to have a kid with san one day, and ever since then he'd push you into a mating press each time you'd have sex, fucking his seed deep into your womb, secretly hoping it'll take. link

bonus:

san loved coming on your back, watching as it dripped down your spine and ass; you were such a gorgeous canvas, and loves painting on it. link.

the hands are so san..... i need him desperately. link.

© 2024 Yun-Fangz All Rights Reserved.

[bumblequinn]

hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

Hi! Spencer Reid x reader where reader is kind of panicking because she’s worried Spencer will get tired of her and find someone that’s more like him personality wise? But then Spence reassures her that he loves her and only her? 🎀🚬🤍🤎

fem bimbo!plus size reader, wc: 589.

a/n: no i am not going to let bimbo reader sleep, but also i've been posting so much aaron recently, which is funny because i've been so obsessed with spencer recently. thank you for your request!

cw! angst :(

“I guess opposites really do attract huh?”

It was just a joke. A harmless, well meaning joke that completely spun your world off of its axis.

You were aware of the differences between you and your boyfriend, but you never felt bad about it, nor did he ever make you think that you weren't good enough for him. You would have liked to think that your differences was what made Spencer fall in love with you; but now you’re not too sure.

Yeah, sure, you needed help with understanding certain things, and your processing was a bit slower than others, but that didn’t make you stupid or annoying… right? 

What if you talked too much? What about that time that you kept interrupting Spencer while he was reading? Did you irritate him? Did he think about breaking up with you? You’d never had thoughts like these before because you never had a reason to. You always felt secure in your relationship with Spencer, like you were his equal. 

Spencer wasn’t used to your silence, it was unusual and quite frankly it raised the red flags in his mind. He was so used to your rambling about anything and everything that the quietness of his apartment was making him itch. 

“Sweetheart?” He called out softly.

It was almost as if his words scared you, your body jumping at the sound of him breaking the serene atmosphere of his almost dark academia-esque apartment. 

“Yes?” Your voice was hushed and meek and Spencer absolutely hated it.

He set his book down on the side table where he uncurled his legs and patted the spot on the couch next to him. “C’mere.” You looked almost hesitant to move, but nonetheless you got up and sat down. 

He grabbed your hand and held it firmly, but you didn’t make any effort to hold it back. It made Spencer nervous; did he do something?

“Sweetheart,” He reiterated. “Is something wrong?”

“Am I too much?” Your panic was quick to build. “What do you mean?” Spencer’s brows were furrowed inquisitively. “Like - like do I talk a lot? Or - or are my clothes too colorful? Do I ask too many questions?” Your speech fired out rapidly, almost as if you didn’t say what you wanted to know you may never do.

“Hey, hey, hey… no, no, stop.” Spencer was quick to shush you, opting to hold your face instead of your hand. “Did someone tell you that?” You shook your head, “No, yes? I don’t know. It - it was just because of that stupid joke Morgan had made.”

Ah, he remembers now.

“The one about opposites attracting?” You nod feebly. “And it got me thinking… what if I’m - what if I’m not a good match for you? You might want someone that’s similar to you,  one that knows how to play chess and understands all those super cool facts you know.” 

“Honey,” Spencer interrupts with a light laugh. “No.”

He wasn’t laughing at you, he was laughing at the sheer fact that he couldn’t imagine ever wanting someone else.

“I want you. I’ve only ever wanted you. I - I do admit that we are different, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I like that you aren’t like me. It’s comforting, and I just… I just love everything about you. I love you.”

“You promise?” You asked wetly with a pout. His lithe thumbs swipe at the tears trickling down your cheeks as he nodded, “Of course.”

“I love you too, Spencie.” 

There you were. His girl.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna

[dustofthedailylife]

A Gift For You

→ Masterlist || → Taglist

Pairing: Alhaitham, Cyno, Heizou x (gn!) Reader

Summary: They plan to give you something for White Day (Info: White Day is the counterpart to Valentine's Day where you usually get the person who got you something, something in return.)

Tags: Fluff, best friends to lovers, pining, mild cursing, very slight angst for Heizou and Cyno at first but also not really, they have good intentions haha!

A/N: This is my White Day gift for @feeblescholarmyass! I hope you like it :3

ALHAITHAM

Two knocks on the door of your office snapped you out of your work-induced haze. 

You’ve been working non-stop on this project for the Akademiya for months now and have only been allowing yourself breaks to eat or sleep. Well, to be fair, sleep was negligible too, seeing as you only got around three hours of it per night for a couple of weeks now. 

What didn’t help was that you just couldn’t get a hold of a super rare edition of a book that was practically essential for this paper. However, the physical copy was lost to the void of the library as it was never returned. And since the Akasha terminal no longer worked you also couldn’t fall back on that.

“Come in.” you answer, rubbing your eyes quickly in a futile attempt to make yourself look less tired. But deep down you knew there was nothing that could hide the deep purple eye bags you’d been carrying around like a designer accessory the past couple of weeks.

You continued to read through one of the many books on your desk as the door was opened quietly and you heard long strides approach your desk.

“Are you seriously still working on this?” a familiar voice asked reprimandingly.

You looked up into the face of Alhaitham who looked down at you in a less than amused and almost accusatory way. You genuinely didn’t have time for this now, as much as you would rather spend every free minute you had with him instead.

“Well yes, I am. Things have been going slower than I had planned and the deadline is breathing down my neck.” you sighed burying your head into the book you had been skimming through prior. “What did you want?”

“You are going to take a break.” Alhaitham remarks. This wasn’t a plea, he was leaving no room for protest. He snatched the book out of your hand and placed it on a table out of your reach.

“Hey! Alhaitham! You can’t do that. I need to finish this.”

“Yes, I can. And I will.” he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “When was the last time you ate?”

Well, damn. There was nothing you could hide from him, was there? He always saw right through you. Always had. One of the perks of being friends with a genius, you thought to yourself. And your silence following his question seemed to confirm his suspicions once again.

“Come on. Let’s go to the Tavern, I’ll treat you to lunch.”

You knew there was no point in resisting so you tagged along and unsurprisingly as always, he was right. Getting out of your cramped office and breathing in some fresh air was balm for your soul.

You sat down outside of the Tavern, both ordering a meal and talking about some recent research you both were interested in. Well, it was mostly just you ranting about your project and the sheer stress the lack of one certain book was causing you, but he listened to everything attentively. 

You once again came to realize what an incredibly calming effect talking to him had on you. Despite how fast your heart started drumming inside of your chest every single time without fail. You suspected that he likely would never be interested in you beyond the friendly relationship you had with him and you didn’t mean to destroy what you both had by laying your feelings for him bare. So you simply kept them locked within your heart and simply basked in his presence whenever you could.

“Oh, since we’re on the topic. I bought something the other day. This is for you.” Alhaitham suddenly pulled a book out of his bag and slid it across the table. You only had to glance at the cover briefly before you realized what it was and your eyes became as wide as saucers.

“Th-this is… the super rare copy of Ancient Nomad Language and Symbolism! How did you–?”

You were awestruck. You had no idea how he managed to get his hands on a copy. It was as if this book had vanished from the face of the earth. Aside from the fact that you could no longer buy it either or just for an extremely inflated price. How in the world did he get his hands on this?

“Let’s just say, I have my methods.” he replied with a hint of a smug smile painted across his lips.

“How much did you pay for this? I promise I’m going to pay it back–”

“No need.” he shook his head to deny your offer. “Consider it a gift.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much! You have no idea how happy this makes me.” you blurt out, almost brought to tears by this act of kindness. With this, your project was saved, and after so long you could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

“Well, in fact, I do. Considering that you didn’t shut up about this book for the better half of a month now and everyone you spoke to knew how much you wanted it.” he stated factually.

“Hey! No need to get all snarky with me now, when I just want to express my gratitude!” you chuckle and playfully roll your eyes, prompting him to smile smugly in a barely noticeable way once more.

“It was my pleasure. Besides, today is White Day, so it was only logical to get you something.” he remarks and he continued to drink his coffee entirely unbothered as if he didn’t just insinuate the most unbelievable thing you had ever heard. He surely misunderstood something here, right?

“Uhh–” you pause. “You know what this day is for right?”

“Naturally.”

You felt like your heart was about to jump right out of your chest any second. What did he mean naturally?! Was what you deemed impossible actually true and…

“Do you… like me?” you whisper, too scared and unable to speak any louder because it felt like all air had been knocked out of your lungs.

“Looks like you’ve finally caught on as well. I thought you’d never realize.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you think I repeatedly asked you out for lunch or dinner? Or why do you think I keep returning your books for you if you’re very capable of doing so yourself? Amongst other things.” he enumerated.

“Well yes, but that’s what friends do.” you retorted confusedly.

“Then let me spell it out for you.”

He put his cup down on the table and leaned forward. He stared deeply into your eyes before ushering three words you’ve always, deep down, longed to hear from his lips.

“I love you.”

CYNO

Three Matra ringing on your door at 10 in the morning was not what you had expected to see today, but here you were nonetheless. They had arrived just as you were about to head to the Akademiya for work but effectually canceled all plans you had made.

“Good morning?” you questioningly asked, raising an eyebrow at them. “Can I help you?”

“We would like to ask you to accompany us back to the Akademiya.”, they plainly stated, signaling you to follow them.

You quickly grabbed your keys and tracked behind them with unease pooling at the pit of your stomach and a violently beating heart. 

What could the Matra possibly want from you? Did you conduct some illegal research? Did someone turn you in for plagiarism to save their own skin? Or did it have something to do with academic funds? As far as you were aware, the answers to all of these questions were no.

You didn't commit any serious academic offense to your knowledge and never planned to do so in the first place. But being called in by the Matra always had something to do with that, so naturally, you had a very bad feeling about this and couldn’t help but desperately try to find the answer to it in your head before you’d arrive.

You knew your best and long-time friend Cyno, was the General Mahamatra but even he wouldn’t show mercy if you seriously screwed something up. You knew he didn’t take academic offenses lightly - it didn’t matter who it was who committed them. He dealt out punishment equally.

The way to the office seemed like it was taking forever and many people along the way to the Akademiya threw you pitiful glances and were whispering as you were escorted by the Matra.

Once you arrived at your destination you were led into the General Mahamatra’s office. The Matra who had escorted you were bowing their head down once before they left you and Cyno, who was standing behind his desk, alone.

“There you are!” he stated, sounding surprisingly cheerful. Well, at least compared to usual anyway. He certainly didn’t seem sinister or as if he was out for your head.

He walked around his desk and came to a halt just in front of you. You slightly twitched as he put one hand on your shoulder and looked right into your eyes. This entire situation was odd, to say the least.

What didn’t help was that the warmth that radiated off his hand on your shoulder was entirely distracting to you right now and made the blood rush to your cheeks and your heart skitter in your chest.

“U-uhhh…” you stammered, unsure what to say or do.

“Do you still remember the special animated Genius Invokation card of Tighnari you got me last month?”

What? Was something wrong with it?

“Uhm… yes, of course, I do.” you reply, uncertain as to where this was leading.

He nodded as his lips curved into a small smile. “Follow me.”

You trailed behind him out of the Akademiya and along the streets towards the outskirts of Sumeru city. You remained silent the entire way, intimidated and unsure about his intentions. You couldn’t help but wonder where he was taking you and whether he was intending to exercise his judgment where no one was able to bear witness to it.

He came to a halt next to a small, run-down house at the border of the city and leaned against the fence there, crossing his arms over his chest and gazing below himself. You cautiously came to a halt as well, making sure you maintained some distance from him.

“So… w-what did I do?” you carefully inquired.

“Well,” Cyno cleared his throat as if he was struggling to find the right words. He stepped a little closer to you once again, taking your slightly trembling hands in his. “You stole something.”

“What? I did n–”

“You stole my heart.” he interrupted both your words and ability to form clear thoughts.

You parted your lips with the intention to say something but every word seemed to have died in your throat. You knew he was one to often speak cryptically so you were uncertain about the true meaning behind his words.

“What?”

He took a deep breath as if he was preparing to say something impacting before pointing toward the fence he had been leaning on with a dead-serious face.

“I fence-y you!”

At this point, you couldn’t help but chuckle. The hilarity of this entire situation was unbelievable. Not only did he have you worried sick he also chose to confess to you after years of pining with some stupid pun.

“Did you seriously lead me here just because there is a fence here?”

“Curses. I feared you would not understand… see fence-y sounds like fancy which means I–”

You quickly pulled him in by his neck and pressed your lips softly against his, successfully stopping him from explaining his joke. The feeling of his lips on yours was something you had dreamed of for so long. When he slung his arms around your waist the endorphins rushing through your bloodstream made your head swim and you felt as if your heart was about to burst out of your chest. You wondered if he felt the same.

“That was supposed to be my gift to you,” he remarked with a smile, leaning his forehead against yours. “but you beat me to it.”

You playfully punched his chest with a chuckle. “Idiot. You have no idea how much you had me scared to death with this entire scheme of yours. I fence-y you, too”

“Allow me to make it up to you again. Do you like raisins?”

You questioningly raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what he was up to this time.

“No? How about a date, then?”

Someone seriously needed to remind you again why you fell for this guy.

HEIZOU

You were walking through the streets of Hanamizaka to run some errands when you bumped into your long-time friend aka. the best detective in town. Or maybe even in the entirety of Inazuma.

“Would you look who it is!” you perceived the familiar voice coming from your right.

You turned your head only to spot the familiar tuft of auburn locks and the pair of mischievous green eyes that always made their owner look like he was up to no good.

“Heizou!” you cheered, hugging him tightly.

“It’s a good thing I run into you actually. I’m onto something and you’re just the person who could help me out.” he remarked.

“Oh, is that so?” you asked stemming your hands on your hips proudly, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Indeed.”

“So, what do you need from me, Mr. Detective?” you tease.

“Alright. So, as you may or may not know it’s White Day. I’m looking for a present for someone since I’m going on a date, and I want to get something for them.” he explained. 

You had to try your hardest to not drop your smile. It almost faltered just now, but you couldn’t let your disappointment show. He didn’t know you had feelings for him, so to him, you were still nothing more than his best friend. Obviously, he would come to you with something like this. It’s also on you for not telling him about your feelings for him, too.

As much as your heart ached while thinking about it, you simply had to try to be a supportive friend in this situation. Even if it would most likely prove to be a challenge. Both for your heart and also to hide your dislike about this from him, since he was generally very perceptive. It was in the job description after all and he was one of the best in his field.

“So what do you say?” he interrupted your train of thought. “Will you help me?”

“Sure!” you agree, faking a smile. 

You followed him through the streets of Inazuma City walking past several restaurants and storefronts continually catching yourself getting lost in your own thoughts while he was talking. 

Your mind was way too occupied with reproaching yourself for not opening up about your feelings. Would you still be able to look him in the eyes when you soon saw him with someone else by his side? Or would you be strong enough to still be as close to him as you are now, despite your aching heart? These were questions the future you would have to eventually find answers to, but for now, you decided you should focus on helping him.

“Which restaurant would be a good option for a dinner date?” he pondered tapping his chin with his index finger.

“Well, I do like Uyuu Restaurant just across the bridge from here. But then again, it tends to be rather crowded on holidays. So maybe Kiminami Restaurant instead? And quite honestly, the food is also better there in my opinion.” you advised.

“I see. Great!” Heizou cheered writing some things down in his notebook.

“So…” he began again after he was done taking notes. “Now for the present. I have no clue what to get them, yet.”

“Well, what a lousy detective you are if you can’t even sneakily ask them about what they would want.” you teased.

He raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest, acting playfully offended at your remark.

“Hey now! No need to get personal! Besides, that would only be the last resort! Anyway, hypothetically speaking. Imagine I’d get you something for White Day. What present would you want?”

For Archon’s sake, did he really have to have you imagine that? Getting a present from him on White Day would be a dream come true so he could practically get you anything and you would be head over heels for him all over again. But naturally, you couldn’t just outright say that.

“I don’t think this should be about what I would want. You should consider what they could want instead.”

“Hmm. I see your point. I could just ask them directly, I suppose?” he proposed tapping his chin as if deep in thought.

“No numbnuts! That’s not something you just ask them. It’s supposed to be a surprise, you know?”

“But then it may be even more important if you could give me an idea knowing what you would want. To gather some… inspiration, basically. I have to consider all possibilities after all.” he lightly bumped his finger on your forehead and smirked slyly. “So what would you want… jewelry? books? something to decorate your home with perhaps? Or maybe–”

“I fear I may not be of much help. I genuinely wouldn’t know what I would want.” you quickly interrupted.

Aside from wishing to be the object of affection of the man in front of you. But it was probably better if you buried that hope alongside your feelings for him once and for all.

What you were dying to say to him for a long time, had died in your throat the moment he told you he was going on a date. And as much as you honestly wanted to help him with this, you couldn’t recommend him something in good faith when it made your heart painfully throb the way it did right now.

“Hmmm.” he pondered looking at the ground with crossed arms. “That’s a shame, I’d immediately know what I’d want.”

“Oh? And what would that be, Detective?” you replied cheekily, quickly trying to distract yourself from the aching feeling in your chest.

“You.”

“What?” you falter.

“Do you happen to be free later?”

“Y-you–?”, you stammered.

“I set you up? Hmm, I suppose you could say I did. Sorry about that, but I had to find something out first.” he hummed, leaning in a little closer with a smug smile before whispering in your ear. “And I’m pretty sure I connected all the dots by now, did I not, sweetheart?”

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

[arcaneauthor]

Can you do things hyunjin does as your bf🙏

Cute things Hyunjin does as your bf

Pairing: Hyunjin x reader

Tags: fluff, like that’s all there is

Warnings: none

Author’s note: sorry that my requests are being posted a little slower now but I’m currently trying to write multiple different requests, a multi chapter story, and complete a couple of art commissions so my creativity is stretched a little thin rn. But I’m gonna try to start getting them out faster in the future! Hope you enjoy!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

If you’re shorter then him then expect lots of head pats and hair ruffles

Which are usually accompanied by him calling you cute

Likes to hug you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder or head

If you’re also an artist like him (which I am) he’ll set you up a second little art station in the room with his so you can do it together

Ik y’all are probably expecting me to put sometime about liking you to sit on his lap while he paints or something but if he’s anything like me I absolutely hate when people watch me work lol it makes me nervous

Buys you matching couples rings

He loves play with your hair. Like he’ll just constantly be running his hands though it.

As he’s stated before he’s not a big spender and really thinks before he buys so when he does buy you gifts you better believe they are super meaningful and thought out

Just makes you feel way funnier than you are. Like he literally laughs at everything you say

Pulls his phone out to snap candid pictures of you any time he thinks you look exceptionally beautiful. Got a whole album atp. Most of them are of you laughing or smiling at something. He’s absolutely obsessed with your genuine, natural smile.

Loves to just lay on top of you and wrap his long limbs around you like an octopus while nuzzling his head into your shoulder. Like if he comes in tired from a long day and sees you laid on the couch he’ll just flop himself over top of you without a word.

He’ll do it playfully too. Like if you’re trying to leave he’ll just lay his whole body weight on you so you can’t get up. “Nope. You can’t go” He of course lets you go if you really want him to get off, but I mean who would want him to get off of them👀

As an artist who has been known to make portraits, he analyzes the details of someone’s features more than most meaning when he compliments you it’s not always just “you’re pretty” or “you look beautiful” instead it’s: “The speckle of colors in your eyes are gorgeous.” “The way your hair glows in the sun makes you look like an angel” etc.

Like he literally just lifts you and your confidence up so much whether it’s from compliments about your appearance or praising you on certain skills or things you do well. Low self esteem does not exist when you’re around hyunjin

Without really meaning to, he makes you the focal point of his art more and more. Even when it’s not directly an image of you he’s creating an abstract piece that represents what you make him feel. Love. He just paints what comes to mind and more often then not that’s you these days

[blurreynights]

I think the biggest culture shock I experienced in Finland so far is around friendships, as well as the area where I learned a lot of valuable things about myself. I might not be entirely right about this as I've only been here for a short time, but those are my main take-aways:

(under the cut to not block ur tags w my english rambling)

Trying to build real friendships takes time, much longer than in my home country. It is relatively easy to get in contact with Germans in my experience, especially if you live in a bigger city and speak the language, ESPECIALLY if you are a student and just starting out in a new phase of your life. You will naturally hang out frequently if you match well and spend a lot of time together. It might take a few meetings before people will invite u to their home, but generally there's not much distance as soon as the ice is broken.

Here I feel like people are much slower and more reluctant to open up. But that doesn't equal rejection, it's simply a slower process and you will still be able to tell the difference between being rejected and being on the path of friendship. In Germany, it's usually a lot more fast paced and there is a small window you have to catch to get into tight friendgroups. If you miss it, no chance of ever going back, vibe gone chance gone. Also people who might have found you interesting could lose interest if you wait for too long (meaning usually a month or so) to get back to them.

I actually realized that this way of socializing stresses me tf out. I much prefer a more laid back approach where you can get to know each other without time limitations (of course prerequisite is that you have the time). It is a much more sustainable, thoughtful and respectful approach to someone elses time. You're not treated as disposable, but rather as a person someone actively chooses to get to know.

Likewise, if people feel like they either do not vibe with you or if they already have a very busy social life or life in general, they will let you know and don't pretend to have time or like you. This was quite a new thing to me and felt a bit cold, but I actually really appreciate it now, as it's saving you from stressful, draining interpersonal connections. It also made me respect some people immensely, because they know their own self worth and boundaries quite well.

It made me reflect upon my tendency to be a people pleaser, and the strong yearning I have to treat my own relationships the same way as I've experienced it here. I've grown so tired of superficial connections that are placeholders for true, fulfilling friendships. I used to think being lonely was the worst thing in the world. It kind of is still awful, but what's worse is being surrounded by a bunch of people you don't really click with or can rely on, which leaves you lonely as well. I do think letting go of this is something that will slowly seep over into my own life, as it is so freeing.

I also intend on staying, or rather coming back when I've finished up all my business back in Germany (I am not really rooted to the city I live in). People who I've told about this recent development were very worried if I would be able to be happy in a country that is (generally) much more reserved when it comes to social interaction, as I need social interaction regularly. I don't really think it's that big of an issue, as I think I can balance out people's passive approach with my more active one in the beginning. I have a high social battery, so I'm fine with interacting with a few more people, before people get truly comfortable to hang out on the regular. Yet I also prefer quality interactions over a bunch of small talk meetups I don't care about. I also still have my core friends who I talk to regularly on the phone, and this has been a tradition for years already before I came here.

What I am immensely struggling with right now is trying to make sense of all the connections I made in the past 10 years. This is the 6th city I lived in the last decade, and the 8th move. All my relationships feel so spread out and scattered. I am holding on to some solely because those people were there when I moved somewhere new and I didn't have anyone else. Like back in school, when I was friends with people because they were the only ones there. It's all a bit confusing and painful right now, as my values and perspectives are changing. I think there are a lot of people moving from the friends to acquaintance category right now. I'm completely redefining friendships for me at the moment.

[moongreenlight]

Ok I’m in the middle of doing four thousand things at once right now but I am personally having some thoughts about Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick that is forcing me to pause everything.

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

He is so unbelievably obsessed with your pleasure. Obsessed with your sweet cunt and the way it reacts to him and his touch.

Literally cannot get off from head unless you’re 69ing because he needs to know that he’s making you feel good too. The combination of you mewling and gagging around his cock and the way you clench around his fingers when you come is guaranteed to get him to reach his high every time.

He honestly doesn’t even need to bury his cock in you. He can get himself off laying in bed with his head buried between your legs. Grinding against the sheets. Feeling you buck your hips against the tip of his tongue.

OBSESSED with giving you head. Daydreams about it. It’s all he fucking thinks about. And he’s SOOOOOO good at it. Takes time to watch the porn that you like so he can try to replicate some parts of it. Memorizes all the things you like and dislike. Incredibly attentive to all your tells. Is also SO coachable. Like he listens to directions for a living. A little to the left? Faster? Slower? Harder? Softer? Anything you want followed to a T.

He’s a pillow princess enabler. Buys you silk pillowcases and sheets and builds you a little nest in the bed before he settles in for the night. Rotating between licking at your pussy and fucking into you ruthlessly. Wouldn’t dream of asking you to get on top because god knows he tires you out enough as it is and he wouldn’t want to risk you needing to take a break or end things before he was properly done with you. Routine pauses to make sure you drink water. Feeds you sweets and cut up fruit or granola to keep your energy up because he’s so thoughtful.

Pleasure dom for sure. Practically demands that you send him videos of you touching yourself when you’re away from him on holiday or when he’s at work. Begs to see a picture up your skirt of your soaked panties after he’s spent your entire lunch break guiding you over the phone through multiple orgasms in your car. Insisting it will help you focus throughout the rest of your day.

He also definitely takes videos of you with your permission. Buys a tripod and everything. Zooms in close on your cunt so that he doesn’t miss a single detail. Takes hours and hours to lick at your clit in slow, measured strokes. Or he has you prop yourself up doggy style so he can pump a few fingers in you. Watching the way your sweet cunt drools and clenched and twitched around him. And he’ll go at it for HOURS. I mean it. Pulling orgasm after orgasm from you until you can’t stay up anymore. Can’t keep your legs from shaking. The breeze from the AC kicking on sends you screaming into your pillow because you’re so sensitive without him even touching your clit. At that point he’ll flip you over his knee and keep at it until you’re screaming and crying and physically cannot produce another orgasm. He’ll pout his lip a little even though his fingers have gone pruny from being buried in you so long, but he’ll be so gentile when he rolls you onto the bed and tucks you in. Rubs your back and massages your scalp until you fall asleep. Cooing into your neck about how well you did for him. How good you are. How much he loves making you feel good. Makes him feel good too.

[s1m0nth3swag]

Can I request milkman X reader where the reader was always getting in trouble some way or another when they were a kid and they always got bored and just telling Francis stories about what they did when they were a kid?

Such as jumping out the window to go out with some friends because they were grounded and bored, prank calling on neighbours, chasing cars while riding their bicycles in a crowded street, climbing high trees and just jumping off of them, getting into playground fights and things like that..........(I did some of those)

Francis was a boring kid and never did anythings for sure, he'd have a freak out if his partner was somewhat of a troublemaker omg

Thanks for the ask, Anon!

WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; Fluff, GN Reader, Francis being a worried little guy, established relationship, kinda short sorry, Reader is silly

The first time you told Francis about your childhood shenanigans was when the two of you were resting on the couch after a long and hard day. He was comfortably nestled against your chest and inbetween your legs, while you ran your fingers through his hair and pressed a kiss against the top of his head from time to time. He had looked up at you in slight shock and worry after you had asked if he had ever slipped when climbing through windows, for you, that was a totally normal question, for him, it was a reason to be genuinely worry about his partners wellbeing. Afterwards, he was always on edge to make sure you weren't getting too close to any of the windows in the shared apartment. A little too much, in your opinion.

You swore to yourself to tell him your most outrageous childhood stories whenever he least expected it. Partly because you wanted him to understand how normal it was to you, partly because his shocked face was just too funny to you. Genuinely, he looked like you had just told him the world was ending.

The next time you spoke to him about it, you were extra casual about it. "You know, I once beat up an older kid because he threw sand in my buddy's face." You hummed as the two of you were cooking dinner, his arms wrapped around your waist as his head rested on yours while you kept an eye on the stove. Francis had immediately peeled himself away from you to give you that little look of 'what the fuck is wrong with you'. You started giggling, and for a second Francis was relieved. "I thought you were serious." He sighed. "Oh, I am. Your expression was just funny." You responded, a grin on your lips as you leaned up to kiss him softly. Francis groaned in annoyance, shoving you playfully.

From then on, Francis watched you with the utmost care. He was always prepared for more stories - which, of course, was no fun to you since you wanted to catch him off guard. For days, you waited for the perfect opportunity until he came home from work, especially tired. Definitely not up for your bullshit. A perfect opportunity.

You grinned wickedly as he walked through the front door, already sensing his mood simply from the way he slouched and the fact that he hung up his jacket just a little slower than usually - you had grown used to the exact time it took him to walk from the front door to the couch. After living together for so long, it was honestly just habit.

"Francis, love." You called out, the slightest hint of mischief in your voice. He grumbled, knowing you were up to no good, because in all seriousness, when were you ever up to any good (the answer was probably never). "Did I ever tell you about the time I chased cars around my neighbourhood? Or when I broke my leg because I jumped off a tree?" You started, and Francis mumbled something about you being an idiot. You simply chuckled as he walked towards the couch.

You followed him around the apartment for the next hour or so, continuing with your most dramatic stories. At this point, Francis was seriously considering taping your mouth shut, though he wasn't sure if you might already have a story about that. You continued to yap about police arresting you, childhood fights, and whatever else came to mind.

At the end of the day, Francis was more exhausted by you than he had been by work, which was a new low for him, really. Usually, you'd be the one to give him energy, not steal it, and run away while giggling manically - which he honestly thought was a thing you'd do.

At last, he managed to shut you up by saying he'd make dinner and breakfast if you'd just stop talking, a deal you were very willing to take. After all, Francis made such a wonderful house husband - and he wore an apron while cooking, which was honestly lovely eye candy to you. You pressed a kiss to his forehead, smiling. "Thanks, love." You hum, and he sighs in defeat. "You'll be the death of me one day, dear." He responds, though a smile plays on the corner of his lips, and you know he isn't serious.

[beesmygod]

navel-gazey retrospective: man my pain is like truly almost entirely gone. i had allergy and effexor woes for like 2-3 years and then the last 2 years overlapped with the terrible mysterious joint disease+effexor tapering (AAH!!!! my back is only just starting to feel truly free!!!!!!) so its extremely welcome to only experience like a weird 1-2 pain scale achey hour or two a day at worst. it was so bad. i'm still not 100%, im still so tired all the time, but much, much better than i used to. things are looking up and im slowly getting back in the saddle. it's slower than i want, but it's at least trending upward.

sorry for being completely unhinged for several years. thank you for being patient with me if you could stomach it, because it is only in hindsight that i realize how caustic and vile it could be. i am pretty ashamed of my behavior during this time. knowing this can and will happen again if there's a pain flare/weird med issue is making me hyper-vigilant about my behavior to prevent this from just playing out over and over for the rest of my life, forever. im going to keep doing what im doing now, which i hope is unobtrusive and respectful. i was a miserable jerk and i am sorry i made it everyone else's problem.

sincerely, if it were not for several things i think i would have been completely fucked: medicaid, being able to do comics for a living, and adam. if not for the flexibility of the work i do, i would not be able to have taken all that time off to try to at least inch toward an understanding of what was going on with me and take long periods of time to recover from it. people were endlessly kind with me and the sporadic update schedule that crept up on me in the previous years and i appreciate it. my life was improved by your support directly and it continues to be improved by it. it helped a lot.

but i was only truly able to have that incredibly loose schedule because of adam, who worked his ass off not only at his job, but also by picking up my slack around the house (there was a point where moving dishes from the table to the kitchen became "impossible" ?? and i'd have to wait until morning to do it??), cooking dinner every night, helping with laundry, demonstrated endless patience and respect for me when i spent an extraordinary amount of time sitting on the couch staring at my phone, covered bills when i needed the months off, and really just stepped up and showed up when i know he's exhausted too. thanks adam love you...!

[ryomaandgundhamkin]

Okay. I have a lot to explain. First:

Listen- I am REALLY sorry for not drawing a lot. For the last month (by this point it’s probably been a month), I’ve been really, really behind on drawing and TSAMS lore. I don’t really feel that I’m apart of the fandom anymore. I just lost all my energy to actually dedicate myself to the lore of the show. I feel exhausted. Plus, school isn’t helping. For the last two weeks it’s been kind of hard for me, I mean aside from my trip, but then I had to catch up on work then do 1 project. I had two tests today.

Art block is hitting hard and I hope you understand. I just feel like I want to draw, I have a lot of ideas, I just can never get a result I actually like. It’s a process of drawing and deleting all my progress. I feel like it’s either 1., I make too much art, which in turn exhausts me further, or 2., I don’t make art at all. I’ve just been lurking around Tumblr and going around, like “oh I’m so going to draw this”, but I’m realizing that I definitely do not have enough energy to draw anything TSBS right now.

My main focus at the moment is school and school only. I hope you understand this because I had a shit ton of late work I had to do from the days I missed while I was away (7 fucking pages), and I had to zoom through that, THEN I had the science test. I had my math test today and I did well and now I’m tired af. I just don’t feel like drawing in general, period. Coloring maybe, but I just have too many things to do OUTSIDE of drawing online on here. Basically this is just me taking a small break. I’m sorry that content may be slower on my account, but I feel like I need this or else I will eventually just actually pass out from the stress. No one did nothing wrong aside from me. I’m just torturing myself. My brain hurts and my sleep schedule is damaged. Planning events is NOT fun and every weekend, I seriously just want a break, but OH someone’s coming over or we’re doing something or we’re going somewhere. I seriously cannot take a break unless I have NOTHING TO DO, which is kind of impossible considering my mother’s plans.

I just don’t feel like drawing. I feel like I’m starting to sleep more early everyday. My mind is a mess. It hurts. It hurts.

I’m just so sorry about this. I hope you guys understand I may not be in the best mental state (even if I act like I’m not, and same at with school, @kiwikay3 …), and I don’t feel like drawing for a bit. Just expect me to give you updates once in a while and maybe that’s it. Just don’t expect a ton of content or doodles from me.

This problem has nothing to do with you guys, I just want you to know this and know what to expect from me from now on. I’ll catch up with all my art requests and things like that eventually, I just feel like school has taken a toll on me. On my health. But, just myself overall. I don’t want anyone to worry. I’ll probably be active less and less so it’s fine if you unfollow me or something because I feel like I’ve already failed you all, and I’ve already reached the peak of my art journey (mid-October or so). I’m so sorry but I feel like when I write these I just get so emotional and I can’t really describe any of it in words. I’m probably going to sleep after this before I actually start crying. I’m actually so annoyed and sad and I just feel so many emotions. My brother is not helping, because HE does not care about his physical health so me and my parents do instead.

Sorry. Thank you all.

I feel like I’m going to have a mental breakdown fuck i hate this

[libby-for-life]

Can you write a one-shot of Adam sick at the hotel, and I mean REALLY sick but he refuses to let that stop him? He's so used to powering through it all, Sera making him do things despite not feeling the best mentally because that was what he learned to do.

And finally Lucifer has had enough basically forces his ass to bed and takes care of him after he almost passes out.

I like this idea! Onwards! Hope you don't mind if I change a few things in this ask to make it flow better.

Adam felt horrible when he flopped on his bed with a tired sigh. Today's activities at the hotel had drained him for some reason and he was feeling more tired than usual. He didn't even have the energy to change out of his clothes and he fell asleep on top of his bed, shivering in the cold air.

That should have been his first clue that something was wrong. Hell wasn't cold.

The next day he woke up and realized it felt like his head was stuffed with cotton and then sowed back together. Adam just lied there for a second, blinking and shivering before he groaned at sat up. He didn't have time for this. Lucifer had made him agree to not skip any activities no matter what. He's not supposed to be making waves.

He tried to get up, but Adam felt so dizzy that he sat back down, breathing heavily. He had to get up. Now. Sera....Lucifer...

Adam forced himself back up and took a couple of breaths, trying to clear out the black spots dancing in his vision. He was Adam. He's got this. He just wished his body got with the program.

Breakfast was miserable. Charlie had made pancakes and on any normal day, he would have drooled at the sight of them (Adam knew he was lying to himself because he hardly ate anymore). Now they made Adam want to vomit. Both Alastor and Lucifer were watching him like a hawk. Well, more like Alastor was since Lucifer was busy complimenting his daughter's cooking.

"Don't be rude, Adam. Are you really going to waste Mrs. Charlie's hard worked pancakes?" Alastor said, knowing that would get Lucifer's attention. Adam barely recognized what that damn deer was doing, too busy forcing his head up and trying not to gasp for breath.

"You are not gonna waste Charlie's food," Lucifer said with a glare. "Dad, it's okay. He doesn't have to eat it." Charlie said, trying to placate everyone. Adam needed everyone to stop looking at him so, despite his stomach feeling like it was tearing itself apart, he forced a mouthful of the sugary stuff into his mouth and swallowed.

"Thank her."

"Dad."

"Now."

Adam let out a short breath and gave Charlie a short smile that usually got anyone who asked if he was okay up in Heaven off his back. "Thanks." Charlie smiled warmly while Lucifer finally turned away.

The rest of the day was no better. Adam was moving slower than usual and apparently that was making Lucifer think he was being lazy on purpose. Constantly on his back about being faster and stop trying to get out of work. Adam didn't have the energy to argue.

Everything came to a head when they were doing a trust fall. He tried to pay attention to what was going on but it was hard to hear everything through the ringing.

A smack to the back of his head made him swallow and look at Lucifer. "What is with you? I don't care that you're bored. Stop zoning out and go up on the stage already." Was it his turn already? Oh. Adam shuffled up the steps but a gentle hand grabbed his much bigger one.

"Adam? Are you okay? You're looking a little pale." She said and Adam forced another smile. "I'm fine. I am." Charlie didn't look like she believed him but let him go up.

Right, what was he supposed to do again? What kind of trust fall was this? What was he supposed to say? His head was swimming and multiple voices were ringing in his head and—and....oh. He was falling.

"ADAM!"

Blessed peace....

XxX

Lucifer watched Adam climb the stage and just...stand there. Zoning out again. "Adam! Don't just stand there!" Lucifer yelled, hoping that would make him move. Now that he was really looking at him, he looked incredibly pale, and he he was breathing heavily.

"Guess more out of shape than I realized," Vaggie mumbled and Lucifer couldn't help but tilt his head. No. That wasn't it. It...it almost looked like he was going to—

"Adam?" Charlie tried calling for him only for Adam to crumble to the floor in a heap. "ADAM!" Charlie yelled as she climbed the stage. Everyone was at different levels of shock.

"Shit! He's burning up!" Charlie yelled and that made Lucifer act. He jumped onto the stage and winced when he realized just how bad Adam looked. How...how did he not notice this? Pale gray, sweat collecting on his forehead, ragged breathing...he looked sick. Very sick.

No wonder he was slow today, Lucifer thought, and that only made him feel worse because he had been pretty harsh on Adam for being lazy when he was so clearly sick. Why the fuck did he not say anything?! Was he seriously this delusional about masculinity that he kept this a secret for—

"You better not skip any activities, Adam. I won't hesitate to kick you out if you miss one. For any reason."

Ah....maybe that was why. Now he felt immensely guilty. Adam was doing this, hurting himself because Lucifer didn't give him any other option.

"DAD!" Charlie yelled when Adam threw up the pancakes from this morning. Lucifer was quick to pick Adam up as Charlie led him back to his room.

Charlie tried to stay but Lucifer reminded her that he was going to strip him of his clothes and that he thought that Adam wouldn't appreciate anyone looking at him naked like this.

She immediately agreed and left him to Lucifer. He slowly stripped the man and tried not to stare at his body too hard. He...looked skinny. Too skinny. The baggy clothes helped hide it but he looked like he lost a lot of weight and not in a healthy way.

Was...was he starving himself?

"Wow, you certainly know how to put that food away! I'm quite impressed." Alasor's voice said and Lucifer had laughed while Adam gripped his fork tightly.

Lucifer didn't mean for Adam to take it to heart and the Devil felt even worse because he laughed at the jab. Clearly...it affected him.

He dressed Adam in his pajamas and tucked Adam in. He...he needed to make sure Adam stayed in bed. With no other choice, he sat in the chair beside Adam's bed and sighed. Hopefully...the first man didn't freak out too much with him here.

"Hu?" Adam mumbled making Lucifer flinch a bit. His eyes were glassy and the Devil noticed how he panted. "I'm...in bed?" He slurred. "Gotta...get up."

"Adam, please stay." Adam turned to him, his eyes not focusing on really anything. "I...I can't. Gotta get up....he'll be mad at me."

He? Who—oh. Him. Lucifer. He's talking about the Devil being mad.

"Adam...I promise he won't be mad." Adam shook his head. "No...he will. I can't be...cough...I can't be kicked out....I can't be out there...not again..." Lucifer furrowed his eyebrows. He knew Adam had probably had it tough out there, why else would he subject himself to stay with people who hated him, but he didn't think Adam feared it that much...what happened?

"Sh..." Lucifer said, hesitantly putting a clawed hand on his chest and finally pushing him back. "I won't let....I won't let him kick you out." It was clear Adam didn't recognize him.

Adam whimpered. "Really?"

Lucifer nodded. "Yes....so please stay in bed." Adam still looked conflicted and the Devil knew he didn't have him convinced quite yet. "I'll stay with you." He offered.

Adam looked panicked. "No...he'll hurt you...I don't want him to hurt you!"

Lucifer felt his composure crumble. Did Adam think that Lucifer would hurt someone simply because they were friendly with each other? Is...is that how he viewed him?

It's not like you've done anything of late to give him a reason to not believe that.

"Don't worry. I'll be f-fine."

Adam didn't look convinced so Lucifer gently rubbed his forehead. "I promise. Just...stay, please."

Adam finally passed out from exhaustion making Lucifer finally slump in his chair. He....he didn't know what to think.

[alpaca-clouds]

Trains are hecking cool!

Hey, it might be a bit cliché, given that I am an autistic Solarpunk, but can we just talk about how fucking cool trains are?

They are fairly fast and move a ton of people at the same time. Due to the reduced friction on the rails, they are also way less energy consumptive than basically any other form of transport (with maybe the exception of the cable car, which does not work quite so good in most areas, though and is way slower).

Given that they can run completely on electricity, we can actually run them completely on renewable energy, too. And because they do not store the energy but draw it directly from their own grid, we do not need as much in terms of rare earths to get them moving, as for example electric cars.

And obviously they can move a lot of people at the same time. Everything about them is super efficient.

As an extra: They also reduce micro plastics. Because here is the thing: A lot of the microplastics we currently have in nature do not come from any sort of garbage, but from wheel abrasions of car tires and the like. Something that metal wheels on metal rails have way less off.

So, what I am saying is: Trains are hecking cool. We should totally build more rails and go to more places via train!