#so i always delete them .02 seconds after making them

[velvetkisscs]

Is It Casual Now ? - PSH SMAU

chapter 5: 2:22 am (0.5k)

──౨ৎ｡⋆ 𝓬ontains: cussing, alcohol consumption (drink responsibly) , teasing, more bickering (always)

likes, reblogs, comments, and feedbacks are appreciated. rude comments will be ignored, reported, and deleted.

. 𖦹˙— ���˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

1:58 am

2 mins had passed and you finally spot sunghoon making his way through the crowd. for a second, relief washed over you, but it’s quickly replaced by annoyance.

“about time you showed up,” you said, feeling a bit frustrated.

“yeah, yeah.” he responds, uninterested with your anger.

you point at ni-ki, who’s slumped on the couch, mumbling words. sunghoon sighs, walking over to his inebriated friend. he attempts to lift ni-ki on his own, but he finds himself struggling.

“talk about skill issue,” you tease, making him glare at you in response.

“wait here,” he says, heading towards his car.

“where the hell are you going?” you call after him.

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

2:02 am

a moment later, he returns, holding a pair of familiar shoes. “here. you left these in my car ages ago.”

you stare at the shoes, then back to sunghoon. “why do you still have these?”

“uhh… forgot to throw them out,” sunghoon shrugs nonchalantly.

you roll your eyes but take the shoes, quickly changing out of your heels.

together, you manage to house ni-ki to his feet, slowly making your way out the party. the cool night air is a stark contrast to the humidity of the party inside. the sound of your footsteps echoes softly in the quiet streets. you try to hold ni-ki as steady as you can, but you can only do so much with your height.

‘ni-ki what’s your lock code?” you ask as you approach his and sunghoon’s building.

ni-ki mumbles something incoherently, his head lolling back and forth.

“ni-ki, we need your code.” sunghoon tries, but ni-ki can only let out a bunch of gibberish, eyes half-closed.

“he’s hopeless,” you sigh. “can you let him crash at your place?”

“fine by me,” sunghoon agrees, “if he pukes, you’re cleaning it up.”

“whatever,” too tired to argue further. “i never said i’m going to stay over at your place.” you quietly mutter.

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

2:22 am

after what feels like eternity, you reach sunghoon’s apartment. you were able to get ni-ki inside and laid him down on the couch, his soft snores filling the room.

sunghoon glances towards your direction, his expression unreadable. “you want me to walk you home?”

“can’t get enough of me huh?” you said, trying to get a reaction out of him.

“you wish.” rolling his eyes. “just don’t want to deal with our friends giving me shit if something bad were to happen to you.”

“just admit it, you’re worried about me.”

“whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“since you offered, then sure. i guess?”

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

2:34 am

the walk to your apartment was quieter, but still peppered with your usual banter. the city at his hour is so alive, yet so serene.

by the time you reach the entrance to your building, sunghoon does not part ways with you. instead, he follows you to the front of your apartment door. 

“i’ll leave once i see you head inside” sunghoon says

“thanks for walking me,” you say softly, fatigue washing over you. “goodnight, sunghoon.”

“goodnight, yn.” he replies, watching until you’re safely inside before turning to leave. . 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔ 2:49 am

<<< prev masterlist next >>>

a/n: saw the blurry pics and thought, yup that's ni-ki core. i was so into minecraft i nearly forgot to work on this chapter. idk what else to say tbh... we're almost done with the boring chapters tho! i think one or two more and the good good, the drama, the tea will finally happen! it's only taking a while because i'm trying to make sure you guys get the gist of sunghoon and yn's dynamic, along with everyone in their friend grp.

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

taglist: open

📌: @sunoostripletriple @yoizhrs @leov3rse @heelee-01 @naviiy @ramenoil @mitmit01 @luvrseung @river-demon-slayer @wonwoos-wineparty @sumzysworld @sngleehee @jayhoonvroom @lovebuglissas @tanisha2060

[send a comment/ask! no empty blogs, must be 18+]

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

02/18/2024 – 02/24/2024

Sunday

Week 2 of missing Cipher Academy. Yes I’m going to do this for at least a year.

Girl Meets Rock is fine.

Undead Unluck is pretty good, it’ll be interesting to see how the group gets out of this one. Loved the parallel between the Gods searching for the Greatest Life while Fuuko and Andy search for the Greatest Death.

Oshi no Ko is fairly intense, but I appreciate the creators still including comedic moments; I guess they don’t want the story to get too harrowing. But Hikaru and his relationship with Ai is really fascinating, as the two of them bond over being perpetual actors/liars in order to hide their pain.

Dandadan fine. At least Momo and Zuma have a fun dynamic.

I guess Chainsaw Man’s been demoted to Manga Sundays rather than Tuesdays when it comes out, as I don’t really get spoilers for it anymore. It does feel a bit hard to see where Part 2 is going after Part 1 was just strength after strength, but I’ll still keep the faith.

One Piece good. As always, I feel like I don’t know enough to be able to say much about it.

Finally watched the second Kizumonogatari movie, Nekketsu. I loved the distinct Monogatari atmosphere, the action scenes were beautiful and fluid and odd, and lowkey this movie series has me kind of shipping Araragi and Hanekawa… I know Senjougahara’s his true love and all, but the vibe of two people sharing a unique experience is unmatched. Also that wheat field where they talked was absolutely gorgeous and extremely up my alley.

A new chapter of Yuria-sensei! It’s fun that she and Riku once shared a hobby, and it hammers home just how much Goro had a type lol

I’ve fallen off of reading non-Shounen Jump manga extremely hard, and I can’t pretend that some part of that isn’t because of this Week in Review thing lol It’s just a bit boring when I read a single chapter and have no thoughts on it but I have to log it here anyway, so I’ve been putting off reading a lot of series I follow. But also, it’s true that I feel like when I binge-read a manga, get caught up, and then have to survive off infrequent releases, everything I read just gets deleted from my memory and I spend the next few months confused with every new chapter – I want to strive to wait until a manga’s finished before reading it now, unless it’s something I know I would really like.

With that out of the way, Shiroyama to Mita-san ended recently, so it’s time for me to catch back up with this endearingly strange couple. As a whole, it’s fairly one-note, with the same dry sense of humor throughout all of its gags, but the premise itself is engaging enough on its own and there’s moments of sincerity scattered throughout that keep it a fun read.

Monday

Ah

Tuesday

Oh no

Wednesday

Okay I had some errands to run today and then I just passed out

Thursday

Okay!!! This week was a bit of a crapshoot but I’ll never miss DunMesh Thursdays. Today’s meal was (instant) ramen, and I wish I had some shrimp or fish tofu to put in it, but we used all of those for the fried rice the other day (and I don’t like eggs in ramen…I don’t like how it makes the broth all gloopy). We get a cute flashback scene to the origin of Falin and Marcille’s friendship, and a further examination of the themes of the show – that being the delicate balance that all ecosystems must maintain in order to thrive, and the folly of humans who try to enact their own visions on it without understanding its structure or how they themselves fit into it. The fight afterwards was also fun and dynamic, with a cute gag to end off the episode.

Also read the latest chapter of Takatora-kun, but there’s not much for me to say about it. I’m interested in this new adult character who looks just like Takatora but with glasses, but I’m more curious about the pharmaceutical advancements that he seems to hint at.

Friday

Busy again today…couldn’t even watch Drag Race before passing out in bed lol

Saturday

Alright, it’s Drag Race time, but I’ve been kind of dreading it since I heard that Nymphia doesn’t do well and Snatch Game is such an all-or-nothing sort of challenge to watch anyway (in the sense that on the rare occasions where there’s a genuinely stand-out performance, it’s a blast to watch, but usually it’s middling at best and absolutely agonizing). The reading challenge at the top of the episode didn’t bolster my confidence too much, and I had to skip the Snatch Game entirely because the second-hand embarrassment made me want to die. Once again, I don’t give a shit about Plane Jane’s storyline this season, but they’re definitely pushing her as a frontrunner and finalist so we’re going to have to contend with her for a while yet. (Currently, my prediction is that the final four will be Nymphia, Sapphira, Plasma, and Plane Jane.) The runway was super cute, though – I loved how everyone had a different approach, and the theme lent itself to interesting runway walks and a lot of fun interactions with the judges. Sapphira and Nymphia were the highlights for me, but it was fun seeing Plasma weaponize her BFA again. I’ve never been happier to see the judges’ favouritism allowing Nymphia to be safe, and I think it lent itself to a bittersweet and meaningful lip sync. Xunami and Morphine dancing together and singing to each other really embodied the song and heightened the emotions.

Undead Unluck…I’ve been nervously anticipating this arc because I love Anno Un, and I’m happy to report that his voice actor does not disappoint. Yumi Uchiyama really handily plays off both his cuteness and his coolness, and sets him apart as the enigmatic character that he is. The cold open had some great animation, with Sean’s bloodied silhouette and eye being a particular highlight. I hope this is a sign of better animation to come when the Autumn fight actually starts in earnest, and that this will be the last episode where they have to cut corners as the cour reaches its end. But before that, CANADA MENTION!!!!!!!!! This absolutely blew my mind when I first read it, and it’s so special to see it in animation – I love that they got the seawall and the weird seahorse head looking shape of the peninsula, and the poutine was so cute. I love how Anno unsettles Andy and Fuuko, and his G-Liner ability is cool to see animated…but of course, the elephant in the room is the CG again. And once again, I can’t really fault them, and they did hand draw the spiders when they got executed by the guillotine, but I wish they could’ve done something more to integrate the models into the look of the show better. But again, I have my fingers crossed that the finale run will be more stable. The main Autumn UMA is done well so far, with that light bit of body horror with the poor guy’s head and the mechanical movements of Autumn’s eyes. And then Anno and Juiz’s conversation had a fun terseness to it, as two characters who know more about the world than most other characters but with opposing philosophies and approaches. I wish they didn’t have that long flashback scene in the middle of the episode, because the episode could’ve ended with Fuuko diving into Andy’s past and been stronger for it, I think. But regardless, I’m once again nervously anticipating the next Undead Unluck episode.

[xtrablak674]

I am a Low Key Nerd and Naturalist

Nerd is so passé, I prefer 'complex human being'. But what I do know is, I am not apologizing to anyone for anything I wish to post. I ain't got no kids, and my parents is long dead. Last I checked ain't a single person paying one bill up in this house except me, I have no one to be beholden to regarding my activities.

Generally speaking I like to stay away from including nudes on this particular blog since I have posted more than enough of that other places on the internet. But, I feel no need to pretend that if I am going to get the opportunity I am going to celebrate my work before anything else.

Meaning I am mildly excited about iPad iOs 17, which in all actuality only has like really five cool updates, but one of them that I am not sure if its been on the phone for a minute or not, is the changing lock screens.

On my early 2008 Macbook Pro I had my desktop changing like every ten seconds with a bunch of photos from my porn archive which I had on an external drive. I always love to have an electronic device with some changing element. Traditionally on my tablets, and this is my third, I utilize my abstract work as lock and home screens. Usually two different images that will be unique to that specific device.

This Os update now allows me to indulge myself and my body dysmorphia, or put a more public face on my tablet. Albeit I plan on never leaving the house after that damn flu I caught on my daily walks, I think the public face for my tablet will be rarely used.

Another feature which is solely a personal fav is the ability to run more than one timer at a time. Sometimes I am washing something and want it to soak for four hours and during this time I may order some food and need to set a ten minute timer so I can perfectly time getting dressed for the delivery person. Now I can do that!

I also love how they show the countdown on the lock screen. I am going to be honest since I don't have a phone the lock screen was never a big thing to be, but with the tweaks to the clock and the widgets Apple is making it a more welcome place for a bit more creativity and self expression.

I love how they took into consideration the vertical and horizontal orientation that tablet user utilize and made sure the screens could be formatted to the orientation of the device, it took me playing on my second tablet to find the fully tweaks, but I enjoyed the intuitiveness in the design.

Eighteen page PDF, I read the whole thing about all the new features, so many things I don't use like the health app, air pods, Safari, FaceTime or rarely use if at all. I did try out the new iMessage tricks and tried out the new tool bar they have changed out the old one for.

I love how we can do voice notes that are sent with transcriptions. It makes the audio a bit more permanent, since I am sure the transcript can be copied and pasted. But I enjoy sharing my voice with folks so they can get all the nuance of exactly what I am saying and most importantly HOW I am saying it.

Technology and me have always been friends but I think it wise to use it smartly and don't overdo it. My twenty-seven year old nephew has a Macbook Air, AirPods, Apple Watch, iPhone, and iPad. I told the nigga straight up he needs to buy some stock in Apple with him putting so much money in their pocket! #ForRealThough

I have only had like five computers and three tablets:

Mac SE (91 - 97 | returned to Campi)

Apple Powerbook 5300 (96 - 97 | recalled by Apple)

Apple Powerbook 1400c (97 - 01 | still have)

iMac G3 (02 - 09 | lent to Techu, never returned)

Macbook Pro (08 to present)

Tablets

iPad - 16 GB (2008 to present)

iPad Pro - 256 GB (2019 to present)

iPad Pro - 1 TB (2022 to present)

Currently I still use two of my tablets, and now that I have deleted a lot of data I can use my Macbook Pro to take trips down memory lane in the form of old photos, designs, videos and memories. I am a bougie bitch and primarily only deal with Apple. I could have bought a new laptop but my iPad Pro especially with the Apple Magic Keyboard really has all the computing power I need for my current needs.

I did win a FreePC through that advertising scheme years ago, where they gave away "free" Windows computers that had very heavy advertising on them. Anyway my yoga was shot today because I spent the morning on my laptop then got caught up in iOs 17 and that was all she wrote.

Today is supposed to be my regularly scheduled program day and I only got through two episodes of Killing Eve. Anyhow let me attempt to watch my shows, albeit I am excited I have a new distraction that is creating great content for my mini-blog and allowing me to reconnect with some folks who I am sharing what I find.

[Screenshots by Brown Estate]

[ihatebnha]

Plumbercrack and Cloaca hawks is more than fine for a tag, altho if youd prefer to shorten it to just like cloaca anon or somethin to make it easier for you thats also fine!! And!! you deserve all the love and affirmation in the world! Regardless of how much or what kind or what quality of content you produce, you're a person and people need rest sometimes! Hiatus good! You? GOOD! (And dw im also terrible with compliments I totally get it lol) 💖💖💖

and it is done, cloaca anon it is...!!!🥵

but AHHHhhhadfjadsk (and you already know i had to let this ask marinate for 24hrs bc its too sweet for the likes of me)... not to give you a whole sob story...

It's not even the hiatus + rest that i ned... i think I just mainly feel bad because i'm disappointed in myself for not really writing the way that i used to (with scenes + dialogue, i mean), and feel like maybe im bothering the people who follow me... with content that isn't what they signed up for? esp when i know that i can do better...

like i say this a lot, but i still really dont feel like i have or deserve over 2.5k followers, so i think my frustration is just a combination of like, imposter syndrome and procrastination due to fear of being shitty...

not to mention how i really struggle with answering anons in general........ and feel TERRIBLE abt that... (see like, ppl being sweet to me always makes me want to be sweet back, as in like write for them, and when i can't i always want to shrivel up and d*e)

so its been really hard to navigate as of late, you know, just with trying to figure out how to stop pysching myself out and start writing for MYSELF again (not that i ever wasnt , just that its been getting harder n harder not to care abt likes when i have such talented moots)...

i just feel like ive been going crazy trying to balance wanting to write with actually writing well alongside with taking a needed break at the same time as pleasing everyone... since i dont want to be "forgotten" ig either.

i dont know!!!

still .... i really really really REALLY REALLY REALLY appreciate the support and sentiment, cloaca, bc truly even just thinking about me and letting me talk is enough lol...

regardless, i hope you know that you deserve so, so much, too!❤️

[sukirichi]

earned it [02]

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

cw. mentions of murder, suggestive content, unedited fic

notes. err, i’m only doing this on impulse. i would like to continue it, but i think part one stands enough for itself :> i might delete this if i don’t like it a few days later lollll

series masterlist

Your infamous customer hadn’t arrived even as the restaurant closed. You watched close enough, fidgety in your movements and often bumping into other servers, all because your gaze kept darting back to the front door, awaiting his presence.

There’s no actual reason why you want to see him. Maybe it’s because he left an impression? The guy didn’t even budge after finding out someone had snuck into the kitchen to poison him, leaving you to wonder why anyone wanted to kill him. Not that it was any of your business, but you figured it was only common between powerful people who are equally greedy. Still, you’re unfocussed in your work, apologizing every now and then when your boss shook their head at you.

Thankfully, you managed to get back to your old pace. Thoughts of the white-haired tall man left the room at the same time everyone did, leaving only you and your boss in the locker room. You ended up working two shifts again on this weekend, your co-worker asking you to cover for them due to sudden family issues.

It’s tiring, that much is for sure, but you won’t complain when it’s more money down in your pocket. You’re dazzled, however, as you leave the locker room and see that your main chefs are still there.

Upon seeing you, they immediately usher you into a lone table, table 98 that remained untouched the whole night, a two lit candles illuminating the otherwise darkness of the isolated restaurant. Only this time, it’s occupied by him no less, his azure eyes flittering up to yours at the sound of your hesitant footsteps.

You’ve been looking for him the whole night, yet now that he’s in front of you, you don’t have any words to say. Instead, you bow down deep, the hands clasped in your lap shaking.

“S-Sir.”

“No need to be so nervous. I only wish to discuss something with you,” his laugh is so carefree, lighthearted as he gestures to the empty spot across him. “Take a seat,” Wordlessly, you foolow his orders and dash down to the seat, spine straight and head held high. There’s a hint of amusement in his small smile, but he doesn’t tease you, save for the lilting tone he held. “So you’re in sophomore year of university?”

“Yes, Sir. How’d you know?” You furrowed your brows, unsure of whether you’re supposed to expensive meal served in two.

Gosh, and this was on page three too, a single meal cost at least six months’ worth of rent.

“I pulled a string or two,” he lifts one shoulder lazily, waving his knife in the air. “And please, call me Satoru. Assuming we come to an understanding, things will go well for the both of us. You are in need of financial aid, yes?” You nod, utterly clueless in where this is leading, but Satoru’s already made up his mind long before he came here that he found no need in beating around the bush.

“Good. Then what do you say about being my sugar baby?”

“S-sugar baby?” you repeat the word first in confusion, then with distaste. He simply hums around the meat he’s eating, as if it’s a normal occurrence for him to inquire such things, and you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.

You don’t care that this guy is your precious customer – he was just the same as everyone else.

“Is that the reason why you asked me to stay behind? Do you think you can just pay people to sleep with you? It may have worked on others, but not to me. I would rather keep my dignity than be with you,” you breathe hard after your rant, slapping your palms down on the table. The impact of it makes the table shake, his hand reflexively reaching to steady his wine glass. “As for what happened yesterday, you don’t have to thank me about it. I did what any right-minded person would.”

“And if I said I never wanted to be saved?” he asks, his tone still so calm that it further infuriates you. You stare at him, stunned and mouth gaping. ���Sit down. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Thank you for graciousness, Sir, but I really don’t—”

“Angel,” You freeze at the nickname. He chuckles with his forehead pressed to his clasped hands, “Do you really think I need to pay people to sleep with me? I could have anyone I want,” his voice falls an octave or two, the sonorous warning rumbling something…alien inside your body. You stand there, unable to move, and he easily sees through this as he hides a smirk behind his drink. “Sit down. I’m not done talking to you.”

You don’t know what snapped in you to actually follow, but his words weren’t just that. They were always laced with eased dominance, the words leaving his lips coming out as a command. No, it was more like a hypnotizing order, and you’re nothing but a puppet enslaved by it.

His smile only grows bigger, and you hate that he looks ridiculously handsome under the dim lights of the room. Life would’ve been much easier if this man had been ugly.

“As I was saying, this relationship should be casual, no strings attached. I’d prefer if you’re exclusive to me, and in return, I’ll cover all your school fees and everything else. As for the sex,” he cuts his eyes straight to yours, an intense burning heat in them. You squirm in your seat, a little intimidated, albeit excited, by this proposition too, though you’d rather die than let him know that, “I don’t need that from you. I just want someone to talk to.”

“You’re paying me to talk to you?”

“No,” he chuckles, “I’m saying you form a relationship with me in exchange of financial aid. You’d be similar to a lover, nothing less of a friend,” he stares at his drink so hard like he was having a debate with it. A few seconds later, he found his answer, the gleam in his eyes surreptitious as he says, “Someone I can trust.”

You huff. Surely it wasn’t easy as that. “Why me?”

“No reason,” he shrugged, “I just find you endearing, that is all,” You lean back on your seat, trying to process all this. The hesitance must be written all over your face because he adjusts his tie, sliding a white business card your way before sliding his chair back in. At least he’s well-mannered enough to do that. “You can take your time to think about it. There’s no need to rush.”

Somehow, seeing his figure retreat triggers something within you. You watch as silhouettes emerge from the darkness trail after him; must be his security team, serving as an additional note that what you so struggled to achieve was likely nothing for him.

Was it fear? Desperation? Shame?

You don’t know, you won’t ever really know, but you run up to him anyway, brave enough to tug at his sleeve. The guards surrounding him tense up at the contact, stepping away only when he raises a finger that spoke a thousand words.

“You-you’ll pay for everything?”

With his back turned to you, you failed to see that victorious grin he wore. “And everything more,” he reassured. He turns around to confirm your submission, but you’re quivering under his towering frame, poor hands clutched around the card so tightly he won’t be surprised if you break it. He chuckles, coaxing the worries out of you as he caresses your cheek, his breath evident of expensive liquor hitting your cheeks. “Relax, angel. It’s not like you’re selling your soul to the devil.”

Your pupils blow wide at the close proximity. If he was attractive before, it’s nothing compared to the clarity of his sharp, angular features that are softened by his playful smile. Oddly enough, his thumb caressing your cheeks is tender yet calloused.

There’s no telling when who put who under a spell, because you’re clutching helplessly at his suit jacket, whispering, “Am I not?”

You are, he wants to say, but you’re so innocent, so vulnerable – such an angel, he can’t help but hum in his head – that he doesn’t have the heart to let you know. He already knew things were bound to fall out of place one another, but until that hasn’t happened yet, he’ll have to keep you close. He’ll make you his.

“I’ll take good care of you,” he declares so confidently that you couldn’t even question his capability to do so you, and for a moment, just a moment, your knees weaken under his stare. “Now that, I can promise.”

Should you have pulled away then? When he leaned down to seal the contract with a kiss, should you have pulled away then? Or better yet, could you even pull away then?

You’ve been so alone your whole life that each moment with him is awakening, soul-crushing, mind-shattering and so damn weakening that you should’ve pulled away then. If anyone were to tell you you’d share your first kiss after work hours with a man whose name you don’t even know of, you’d tell them they were crazy, crazier if they claimed you would enjoy it.

But you did. Oh, you did, you were addicted to him – his taste, his scent, his touch, everything about him – that when he pulled away, taking away every last breath in your lung that formerly remained taint-free by him, you’re left wanting. Craving.

And he knows this. How could he not? Your eyes are hazy with lust, chest pressed against his firm ones that would soon be the same body you found home over and over again.  You’re not the only left intoxicated from this sudden agreement. Whatever you feel, he feels it twice as much after years of watching you from the sidelines, asking himself a million times over what it is about you that pulled him in so much in the first place.

The innocence? The dedication? The youthful naivety?

Gojo wants to laugh at himself. It was never any of those – he simply wanted to fool himself that maybe he’s worthy of this, of your love, of your purity. He’s selfish, manipulative, heartless, and he wants nothing more than someone like you to make him feel like he’s everything he’s not.

He steps forward to brush his nose against yours; breathing in the tiny gasps you reward him with. And he’s barely even touched you.

“I look forward to our next meeting,” he rasps, butterfly touches all the way down your back to hold you flush against him, letting you feel that he’s all muscle and hardness, while you’re the complete opposite, composed of softness and little ghosting kisses. Perhaps when he gives you by a name, he was right to call you –  “My Angel.”

The loud blaring of your alarm cuts through the silence of the room, its shrill sound piercing your ears. You groan, blindly patting the bedside table to swipe snooze. The spot next to you has been cold for a while now, but it’s normal for Satoru to leave early for work that you burrow yourself deeper in the covers. Five more minutes of sleep shouldn’t be so bad; it’s the weekend, anyway. You’ve got nothing else to do.

Waking up after that, on the other hand, now that is an impending task on itself.

You’re beyond sore, your inner thighs littered with handprints and your shoulder covered in love bites. “Jeez,” you mutter to yourself, stepping out of the bathroom. Tying your robe around you, you go out your shared bedroom, rubbing your eyes to get the sleep out.

It’s past noon already – Satoru really wore you out. And fuck, you could barely walk. You had to grip the counters just to sit on the stools, and even then, you’re wincing from the pain.

He should be doing paperwork in his office right now or something; he never really told you what to do. You don’t feel like asking either since he’s made it clear he prefers to keep his personal life, well…personal. But nevertheless, you swing your legs back and forth on the stool, texting him a quick I love you baby :)

Satoru doesn’t reply.

Usually, he’d respond in a few minutes, always supplied with a wink and an eggplant emoji. It was so him to act this way, that when those few minutes turned into a few hours and you’re met with radio silence, you can’t help but worry.

You try to brush it off, ignoring the deafening silence that rings all over his penthouse. He’s busy, he’s working, he’s got things to do – that’s all it is.

You convince yourself hard enough that you’ve cleaned the place until it’s sparkling, your reflection bouncing off the black marble floors. Every minute, though, your mind would race back to him. Not thinking about him proved to be a really daunting task because you think of him when you’re eating, reminiscing the way he’d always surprise you with a back hug, muttering morning angel all over your skin just to distract you from your meal. You think of him as you’re killing time with boring dramas; if he was here, he’d nudge your leg with his foot, pushing your shorts until it exposes your panties. He’d make sure you don’t get to focus at all, riling you up and kissing you hard that the show playing becomes nothing but background noise. You think of him, you dream of him, you remember him – and yet, you can’t feel him.

Nails bitten down to the skin, you scramble for your phone, swiping call over his contact. It doesn’t go through. Now that’s another odd thing; Satoru never fails to pick up your calls.

“He’s just busy,” you lie to yourself, telling the same thing over and over again even as night falls and you’re staring at the empty left side of the bed, hands smoothing over where the curve of his body would’ve been. “He’s just busy,” you say once more, giving into the exhaustion brought on by your worries. “He’ll come home soon. He always will.”

Except he didn’t.

And that was two weeks ago.

“Angel, I got you—” Satoru immediately clamps his shut, his footsteps muted as he walks closer to you. You’ve been dating for a few months now, and you’re still very wary of the nature of your relationship so you refuse to move in with him. He doesn’t mind, he respects your space and decisions, but now he’s starting to regret letting you have your way. You’re hunched over your swiveling chair, cheek pressed against the opened textbook and glasses perched on your hair. The lamp desk illuminates the dark circles lining your eyes, his heart breaking at the sight.

Thanks to his help, you’ve been able to spend more time focusing on your studies. It should be comforting, but Satoru’s heart aches as he thinks of what you’ve been like prior to meeting him.

How long have you stayed up all night just to pass your exams? How long have you cried yourself to sleep, unable to handle the burden placed by the world on your shoulders at such a young age? How long have you had to turn down friends’ invites to parties with a forced smile because you had to go to work? How many times have you stared at a failing mark, teeth clenched because you studied well for it; your exhaustion just got the best of you and muddled your brain?

Satoru places the beer and dinner he’s got you on his way back home on top of your one-man dining table, pressing a kiss at the top of your head. You look so beautiful this way – unaware, unknowing, and focused in nothing but the future ahead of you that you don’t bother yourself with his past.

Perhaps…it was comforting, after all.

He’d rather have you worry over your own studies than worry about him. Satoru can’t stomach the idea of you – his precious angel – being involved in his own shit, possibly get caught between the crossfire. It pains him to say it, but he doesn’t want you getting too close for comfort.

So he stays there by your side, simply because it would expel all ideas of you wanting to be beside him. He’ll be right where you’re safe, and the sigh that leaves your lips when he moves you to your bed, fitting in his long, lanky bed on your cramped mattress an immense struggle. As if feeling that you’re finally home, you snuggle closer to his chest, murmuring sweet nothings that tug at his heartstrings.

Satoru rubs circles at your back, staring so hard at the chipped paint on your wall that he’s sure he’s got it burned in his memory.

Now that he thinks about it, he should’ve been satisfied with that. He should’ve held back in his desire to have more of you. He should’ve just tucked you in and left, but he was never really in control of himself. Before he knew it, he’s pulled in by you too much, encouraging him to move in with you under the lie it’s easier to keep an eye on you.

Had he just left you earlier…would things have been different then?

He’s asked himself this question too many times. Satoru always came to one conclusion. He loved you way too much that it consumed him, and soon the love he held for you slowly burned you inch by inch. The only way to save you was to pull away – but he wasn’t ready for that yet, not now – but he’s too scared, too deep in love that he ignores the warning signals and holds you close instead, finding comfort in the warmth of your arms.

Fuck. Satoru downs his second drink, glaring at everyone beneath his shades. Geto snickers beside him, sending side eyes to his boss every now and then just to check. Of course, Satoru’s not actually going to pass out, he was no lightweight, but he’d been uneasy every since that pretentious gold envelope landed on his desk.

One of the downsides of being a mafia leader meant you had to mingle with other clan shit, including him of all people. There were always new leaders popping out of nowhere, Satoru quote unquoting, criminals be spawning like maniacs.

For fourteen years – fourteen fucking years – his clan had been in bad blood with the Zen’ins. They were pretty new in the illegal side of business, starting off as a powerful name in the trade industry before they got interested in oil. One thing led to another, the family began to realize they could have so much more if they turned a blind eye to a law or to, soon shifting into illegal weaponry trade, human trafficking, then drug manufacturing.

These bastards had the audacity to insult the Gojo Clan when Satoru’s family dropped by to strike a contract out of curiosity to their goods, only to be turned down because they’re ‘barbaric’ and ‘informal.’

Satoru still remembers that humiliating moment of being escorted out by bodyguards, but he held his head high, vowing to show that bastard Zen’in guy that the Gojo’s were one of the powerhouses for a reason. He doesn’t even know where the elderly guy got his confidence from. Mafia business was not the same as their former expertise, yet they acted all high and mighty with their rules and standard of being sophisticated even in a life or death situation.

Gojo doesn’t know whether he should be happy or sad that the old man died, his son taking over just as soon as his father perished. He would’ve celebrated with a whiskey or two, except the new clan leader was quite adamant in cleaning up their name to prove he would not create the same mistake his father did.

The new leader threw a large cruise party, inviting pretty much everyone they were chummy with, and Satoru has never felt more out of place. He recognized a face or two, but he couldn’t really give a fuck. He hated events like this – it was all about establishing power and face.

Satoru groaned under his breath, swiping at another flute as a waiter passed by. He felt the bubbles fizzle down his throat, the slight burning sensation somewhat easing his nerves.

He leans back at the wall and checks his watch for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. It’s been two fucking hours since they arrived, and the host still hadn’t arrived. If they planned on being ‘fashionably late’ Satoru won’t hesitate to slice someone’s neck tonight. He hates his time being wasted the most, and his eyes slid over to his friend’s still posture, looking like he just saw a ghost.

“Suguru,” he sighs through his mouth, “Don’t be so tense. This is a formal event – no blood will be shed tonight.” Suguru had a weird skill of being able to read Satoru’s thoughts that he raised his hands in surrender, silently promising that he’s not going to kill anyone.

“You’re not sure of that.”

“I won’t lose my composure, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he rolls his eyes, not looking back as he effortlessly places the empty glass back to another waiter. Satoru stands next to his friend, sucking his teeth out of boredom. Suguru, on the other hand, is tenser than ever, his eyes locked onto something in the middle of the crowd that began to cheer.

Faintly, somewhere at the back of his mind, Satoru hears someone whistle in signal. A few seconds later, the fireworks are lit and decorate the night sky, bursts of gold and beauty accompanying the entrance of the woman who’s so effortlessly caught everyone’s eye tonight.

Satoru is rooted to his spot, taking off his glasses the same time the crowd parts. Then, his breath is knocked away from his body, his heart pumping so hard he actually struggled to breathe.

Because you’re there, smiling and waving at the crowd as if it’s second nature to you. Seven years of being apart from one another and Satoru is still bewitched each time he lays his eyes on you. You’re the same…from your face down to the angelic feeling you always carried, but at the same time, you’re different. Gone was his precious angel who shied away from too much attention, his precious angel who would’ve never worn such a bodacious ring embedded on her left ring finger. Your smile is more charismatic, confident, and even fierce compared to the small, private ones you always shared with him – he almost couldn’t recognize you.

As if feeling someone’s eyes on you, you spot him leaning languidly against the walls, those lips you used to kiss turned downwards.

Seven years ago, you would’ve kissed him until he smiles again, singing to your pouty and clingy boyfriend who never voiced out the reason of his troubles. Seven years ago, he would’ve carried you and swung you around, showering you with affection as he reminds you how lucky he is to have you.

But this was no longer the past – that much is clear from when he left you without another word.

Still, you smile at him, an empty one that showed nothing but concealed anger. He was sure though, so fucking sure, that for a split second, he saw you light up. That may have been seven years ago, but you loved each other to the point of insanity – surely you still held some sort of fondness of him.

Satoru takes long, self-assured stride towards you, his gaze never leaving yours with his hands tucked into his pockets. There’s no telling what he’ll do, but in his mind, it’s clear.

You still love him, he still loves you. He’ll do something about it. It doesn’t matter what, he just will. That was until a young man closer to your age with blond hair and pierced earrings, narrow feline eyes lined with eyeliner hobbles beside you, his weight supported by a cane that Satoru stops in his movements.

He’d recognize that face anywhere.

The youngest and perhaps most mischievous leader of them all, Naoya Zen’in. Albeit not as hard-headed as his father in comparison with his rather laid-back and welcoming nature, Satoru knows a monster when he sees it. It takes one to know one, after all, and despite the heir being crippled from a former accident, his intelligence and power was not to be overlooked through his appearance and coy smiles.

In fact, he might even be more dangerous than his old man, this theory only proven when his arms snake around your waist. The matching rings gleam from under the light, and you press yourself closer to him to whisper in his ear, your attention very much still on Satoru.

Satoru’s entire body burns.

“Still there, Sir?” Suguru asks, gripping his boss’ bicep to hold him back. Smart of him, Satoru exhales through his nose, unable to stop his glare from darting to your husband’s.

He’s heard of you, of him, of how his most annoying rival had a phenomenal trophy wife who looked harmless at first look, but was actually the brains of most of his operations. Satoru forgets how to breathe normally because he’s heard of you, and the rumors he’s gotten wind of about Naoya’s trophy wife are nothing less of how dedicated and perfect the two of you are.

Slapping Suguru’s arm away from him, Satoru grits his teeth. “Get me a drink.”

His precious angel was gone. No, this woman that stood before him…you were an entirely different entity, something darker, something along the lines that were more like him.

What exactly happened the day he left you?

taglist: @ladywaifuuwrites​ @savantsoulfinder​ @my-reality-is-in-my-head​ tagging the ones who asked for part 2, please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

[pierrelapsac]

Lestappen boarding School #13 (18+)

Read the whole thing on my AO3...

21st September 2019

Charles and Max were late for dinner in the end. When Isa and Charlotte left, Max had assumed Charles would follow but he stayed and the two of them had finished their personal statements together. Though Max for the most part had been confirming Charles’ translations sounded smooth. Charles was actually very serious about the Ferrari business, though not without his own touch of nepotism that Max teased him for in turn. They went to dinner separately of course but the whole afternoon had been …civil. 

Max was starting to feel a little proud of himself. Even Alex, after hearing from Isa that Max and Charles had been working together yesterday and had said something like “finally the rest of us normal people can get a break from trying to study with either of you.” They still mostly avoided each other during the day. Max had brushed off Alex's hopes they were going to be friends again and it seemed Charles agreed that things would be easier if they kept things as normal as possible. 

25th September 2019

Leclerc 

Did you finish the last question in Maths?

I want to go over it, I don’t like these stats problems.

13:02

Me

Yeah I’m okay on stats.

Come to my room after dinner?

13:05

Leclerc

Fuck before or after?

I’ve got something I want to try.

13:06

Max deleted the second message. He’d been sort of expecting something like this. It wasn’t a secret that Charles had slept with other people before. He’d had a girlfriend at school a few years ago and when he’d come out to him and Daniel back when they’d briefly been friends he’d told them that he’d messed around with a guy in Monaco before. Max didn’t have the same, he wasn’t even sure if Charles knew he’d been his first proper kiss. So far all he’d done to Charles was a hand job which can’t even have been much of an excitement to Charles. It would have been easier if he didn’t have the desire to keep him interested.

Daniel used to tell him all he needed was to look confident when trying to pep talk Max in 5th year. Which Max had thought was easy to say coming from Daniel who seemed to be happy to do anything very genuinely as opposed to Max who had only recently mastered not throwing a strop when the other team scored during games. Max finished his dinner quickly anyway, the fear not quite overcoming the freshly embraced teenage horniness. Charles caught his eyes as he was leaving the dining room and he figured he wouldn’t be waiting long to find out anyway. 

Max left his door open and a few minutes later Charles slipped inside and sat without invitation on the end of Max’s bed. 

“You never answered my text?” Charles said.

“Fuck first.”

“Such a gentleman.” Charles teased but pulled Charles in to kiss him anyway. It was so casual it took Max a little by surprise. Charles was a good kisser, he always took control, leading the pace they went at, guiding Max’s hands where he wanted them on his body and making these little moaning noises to let Max know whenever Max did something that he liked. Charles' hands felt good on him too. Max liked it the best when Charles' hands grabbed him rougher and especially when Charles kissed his neck. This time Max tried doing the same, kissing up and down Charles' neck and got his little moans in return.

“You’ve got such pretty lips.” Charles whimpered. Stroking his hands through Max’s hair. 

Charles tugged his hair pulling Max up to face him and kissed his lips again. 

“Max?” Charles said, breaking the kiss. “Do you want to blow me?” 

‘Yes’ Max thought but he didn’t say anything. He liked making Charles feel good and he knew how good Charles' mouth felt on him. Max so badly wanted to return the feeling, taking Charles in his mouth winning all the pretty sounds Charles made. What if he was awful, scraped his teeth all over Charles pretty cock. Charles would compare it to his pretty ex-girlfriend or the older boy from france. 

“I know you’d make me feel so good,” Charles said leaning forward to whisper the words into Max’s neck, dropping little kisses in between.

“I’ve not…” Max started.

Charles kept kissing. “I know, I’ll talk you through it, I just keep thinking about you on your knees for me. I know you’d like it, you're such a pleaser and I can pull your hair the way you like too.” 

Max was glad Charles’ face was buried in his neck because he didn’t like the Idea that Charles could see how much he was blushing now. 

“I’ll talk you through it, I promise.” 

“Okay” Max agreed. 

Charles pulled back from him smiling and then kissed Max one more time quickly on the lips. He took one of Max’s pillows from the bed and put it on the floor in front of him. For his knees. Max got off the bed and lowered himself onto it. He felt unreasonably stupid, as if Charles would just laugh at Max for thinking he’d want to put his dick anywhere near him. Max looked up at Charles who wasn’t laughing at all though instead staring very directly at him with his hands shoved down his trousers like Max was exactly where he wanted his dick to go. 

“You look so good.” Charles said one hand touching Max’s jaw so he was looking right up at Charles as he rushed to get his trousers off with the other hand. Max, despite not really believing him, blushed more at the praise. Charles sat back to the bed just in front of him, his cock now out and fully hard. Max sort of moved forward to kiss it but Charles held his head still. Instead Charles dragged his fingers over Max’s lips for a moment before gently pushing his mouth open.

“Get them wet.”

Max relaxed his jaw, letting Charles; fingers sit in his mouth as he pushed his tongue up against them gently. Charles’ other hand found his hair again but he didn’t pull yet just stroked. Max hated how much it felt like teasing. He got confident with his tongue licking around and in between Charles’ fingers trying to keep his teeth away from them.

“Like that, good.” 

Max just started to lean forward to take more in when Charles pulled his hand back. He wrapped his wet fingers around his cock jerking it a little as he shuffled forwards getting so much closer to Max’s mouth.

“Open your mouth for me.” 

Max let his mouth fall open and Charles guided his head down so the head of his cock pushed past his lips. Sometimes Charles could seem almost like a girl but now with the taste of his precum leaking into Max’s mouth - Max couldn’t have predicted how much he would like this. He tried licking his tongue just under the head and Charles shivered a little. Rocking forward into Max’s mouth. He was holding back, just thrusting shallowly letting Max get used to it but Max wanted to do more. He wanted to take almost the whole thing like Charles had done, get Charles’ control to crack a little. 

Max took control of the pace again, working slowly down the length until he could feel Charles pushing at the back of his mouth. There was still almost half left. Max swallowed and tried to adjust himself and managed a little more but not without effort. Charles started to wove again, he was so much deeper now, there was no room for Max’s tongue to move anymore. 

“Fuck Max, that’s it.” Charles moaned, “So good.” 

Max keened at the praise, at the way he was so obviously making Charles feel good. He tried to push deeper again, but instead all he did was make himself splutter and gag and now Charles pulled out all the way so just the head of his cock rested on Max’s lips.

“Don’t need to go that deep.” Charles chided but Max wanted to try again. Charles could do it and Max was bigger anyway. He went slower this time, adjusting his breathing, the angle of his neck, focusing on relaxing his throat when Charles reached the back of his mouth. He got further this time as well, felt Charles push past the back of his throat. It made Charles gasp so beautifully and Max managed to hold him there for a few seconds too before he gagged again and Charles pulled him back off by his hair.

“You’re insane, it’s fucking hot.” Charles croaked above him, “Here, use your hand too.” 

Charles brought Max’s hand up to wrap around the bottom of his cock. Then slowly with his hand pulling at Max’s hair he started to push him up and down Max trying to keep his hand moving in time. This way he had less cock in his mouth but he could move his tongue again, try and find other ways to make Charles shiver. Charles sped up as he felt Max get move comfortable, he got rougher with Max’s hair too which almost made Max moan as much as Charles was.

“Your mouth feels so good.”

“So pretty, so good.”

Charles kept praising and praising. Max felt like he was melting, like he could have stayed like this for the rest of time, even with his jaw starting to ache. But more than that he wanted to make Charles cum, taste it. Everything was so debauched, it was like he was in a painting, his mind couldn’t touch any of the reasons he knew he had not to be here, right now everything only felt right. Max moaned more and more picking up on the way that was making Charles hips buck and his hand move them faster. Charles was panting now, he must be getting close. Max needed to tell him that he wanted him to come in his mouth. It felt so important he pulled back of Charles but kept his hand moving.

“Come in my mouth, please.” Max asked. 

Charles nodded frantically but they didn’t make it as soon as Max asked Charles came all over his lips and down his neck. Charles collapsed back onto the bed panting.

“Sorry.” Charles croaked and propped himself up on his elbows agan looking at Max, still kneeling on the pillow, Charles cum dripping down his chin. Max licked his lips a little just to try, it was bitter and salty but he didn’t mind it at all next time he would swallow it. He took the tissues Charles offered him and wiped himself up a little bit. Everything in his mind was being so quiet. 

“Max.” Charles said. “You okay there?”

“Yeah, was that okay?”

“You’re joking.” 

Max shrugged, feeling a little more confident now. Charles did look thoroughly worn out and that gave him a lot of pride. Max stood up and sat down on the bed next to Charles who seemed to be watching him very intently.

“What do you want to do?” Charles asked, still looking.

“The Maths.” Max replied, kicking his school bag a little. 

“I meant like a hand job but whatever gets you off, you little deviant.” Charles laughed and Max shifted his leg to kick Charles instead.

[chosenimagines]

-JEALOUSY-

01 Damn! You are telling me this is what I could have had?!

02 Could he/she/they make you feel this good?

03 Betrayed! Betrayed by you…

04 Stop flirting with my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner right now!

05 I cannot accept that

06 You did what?!

07 What is this?

08 Of course it is your fault!

09 I am so done

10 Infront of me! How is it possible this happens infront of my eyes?!

11 How is it that I am always getting stuck with you?

12 They trusted you! I trusted you!

13 I am no hero! I have never been a hero. No one wants me to be the hero

14 I am still in love with you/them/him/her!

15 God, I can’t fucking stand you

16 For the first time in my life I am doing what is good for me and not your jealous ass

17 Then go with them/him/her!

18 Of course you are happier with them/her/him

19 I don’t want you to be with them/her/him

20 Were you going to tell me about that?

21 It was just a dance

22 I saw you

23 That never should have happened

24 It was just a kiss

25 Do you have an issue with it?

26 Imagine THAT WAS A BORDER NOBODY SHOULD CROSS!

27 That- you’re mine!

28 You fucking promised me that you would stop that!

29 With them/him/her?!

30 You are sick!

31 I can't loose you to them/him/her!

32 Is that really appropriate?

33 Oh, you are actually seeing them/her/him?

34 You make me choose?!

35 You have everything I want, you little bitch!

36 Not again!

37 I am sick of your jealousy!

38 A party kiss? Only a party kiss?!

39 Are you fucking serious?!

40 You want to meet them/him/her?

41 I can’t believe you’ve done this

42 THIS IS CALLED CHEATING

43 Hell yeah I am jealous!

44 You are being ridiculous

45 I wanted to make you jealous

46 I did that on purpose

47 Jealousy looks ugly on you

48 Am I dreaming?

49 I am NOT jealous

50 Don’t worry, I’m all yours

51 I hate it when they  look at you

52 What would I be jealous about?

53 Oh sure! Go and see them/him/her!

54 Woohoohoohoo, you’re jealous!

55 You’ve got something that I want

56 Please don’t make me choose

57 Should I be?

58 What has happened to forever?

59 Look… I don’t like you spending time with them/her/him

60 Why aren’t you answering your phone?

61 You are ridiculous

62 It’s nothing

63 Shoving your tongue down someone else’s throat is NOT being friendly

64 That’s JUST what happened

65 You had to steal it

66 You disgust me

67 Go and make out with them/her/him! I am out of here

68 That is just in your head!

69 Don’t give them/her/him that look

70 You make me sick!

71 You will never see them/her/him again

72 I want you to delete that number from his phone

73 Never talk to them/him/her again! Ever.

74 They/her/him are not going to have what belongs to me

75 I am pretty sure I saw a spark there

76 Why can’t I be the first one that you think of? Why is it always her/him/them?

77 I don't believe you

78 You lied to me and now you are talking about truth and honesty

79 It was kinda cute actually

80 You’ve always been my top priority, but whenever she’s in trouble, you leave me hanging.

81 I know you told me not to worry, but I’m so afraid that someone better will want you, and you’ll leave me.

82 You have someone that belongs to me

83 I can't take it anymore

84 Forget it! You are just a fucking bastard

85 Do/es they/she/he make your heart beat like this?!

86 I can’t believe you missed our date for this!

87 If you trusted me, you wouldn’t be so jealous.

88 I am just using you to make them/him/her jealous

89 Sometimes I wish you weren’t this beautiful. Everyone looks at you wherever you go.

90 Your jealousy is the reason for our break up

91 They/she/he just undressed you with their/her/his eyes!!!

92 Will you really let me go like this. Can they/he/she love you like I love you?

93 I never wanted to be just a friend. I wanted to be what they/he/she is to you.

94 I wanted you to be one that I wake up next to BUT YOU JUST HOOK UP WITH THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE

95 Who are you?

96 They/him/her can’t have you! You are mine

97 You were never mine to begin with, but it hurts me to see you with someone else.

98 You are still in a relationship with me even though you want to be with everyone but me!

99 Am I really not enough?

100 I did not see that coming

101 Oh NOW you thought about it?!

102 You were never interested in a closed relationship, and I feel like I’m just holding you back, but I can’t bear to think of you with someone else.

103 I KNOW you are cheating on me!

104 What can I change to make you want me again?

105 I don’t need YOU AND YOUR CHEATING ASS! I CAN HAVE WHOEVER I LIKE! 

106 How could you choose them/her/him over ME?!

107 Don’t ever look at her/him/them like that again! She/he/they is/are mine!

108 If I had known you were this popular I never would have gone out with you.

109 Don’t look at them/him/her! You are MINE

110 I know it’s not your fault that he/she/they kissed you, but it still you guys freaking kissed

111 How about this: I’ll go kiss someone else too. After all, it’s just a kiss! Nothing to be jealous about, right?

112 Why did you have to love them/him/her? I would never have hurt you the way they did but they/him/her has got everything I love

113 I’ve always been second best, but now I finally want to beat you at something.

114 Because it was always them/him/her! I was always the second choice. I don’t want to be second choice because of them/him/her

115 When I think of my future, you’re always there, but for you, it’s always been they/her/him.

116 I can’t believe you would let me go for a scumbag like them/her/him! 

117 Why can’t you kiss me like you kissed them/her/him?

118 You said you would love me, so do it properly, stop pining for them/her/him.

119 Soooo… who’s that bitch?

120 Me? Jealous?! Never.

121 You have to go with… *cough* them/her/him

123 Just shut up! I can’t believe you tried to make me jealous by cheating on me!

124 SO GO FOR THEM/HIM/HER IF THEY ARE SO HOT! 

125 Everything that happened to me is your fault! You are always pushing me into your shadow

[americancowgirl19]

Leave a Message

Summary: No matter how many times they call, all they get is the answering machine.

Warnings: angst, cursing, fluff, dates might not be correct (deal with it)

Reader: Sister Winchester Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!reader, John Winchester x Daughter!reader, slight Bobby Singer x Daughter!reader

Word Count: 3,481

A/n: Y/n/n = Your nickname Y/d/n = Your daughters name

Masterlist

December 19th, 1996 - 9:17 am

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hey, Y/n/n, it’s Dean. Where are you? Dad won’t tell Sammy and I anything. You’ve been gone for two days. Please, just tell me you’re safe. Call me back,”

March 5th, 1997 - 1:32 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“It’s Sam... You’ve been gone a long time... Dad won’t talk about you anymore, he gets mad when we bring you up. He won’t let us look for you but don’t worry, Dean still does and I help him where I can. I don’t know where you are but we’ll find you. We’ll bring you back. Love you,”

October 31st, 1997 - 8:49 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“...It’s Halloween... Remember when you would make Sammy dress up in some stupid costume and take him out trick or treating for a little bit? Dad would always get mad but you had this way of just lightening him up. I swear we would gain so much weight eating Sammy’s candy when he went to bed *small chuckle*… You’ve been gone for almost a year and I’m no closer to finding you than when I started... I’m not gonna give up though. I know you’re out there even if Dad won’t say anything. I just hope that wherever you are... you’re safe. Please, call back,”

December 25th, 1997 - 10:23 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Merry Christmas, Y/n. I miss you... a lot. Dean says you’ll come back but I don’t know if I believe him anymore. We should have found you by now right? Dad should be helping us *aggravated sigh*… He’s been drinking a lot lately... I just want you to come back. Nothing’s been the same since you left. I don’t know where you are but I hope Dean finds you. We need you here. We Love you,”

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Merry Christmas, Y/n/n... Sammy demanded that I call you and tell you that... He thinks you’ll come back if we talk to you or something like that... I don’t know... I’m starting to think you’re not actually missing... I think you and dad fought and you left us. I don’t think you want to be found... *sigh*… I thought you were happy here, with us. I don’t know what dad said to make you leave but please just... come back... Sammy needs you. I... *heavy sigh*… Come back,”

February 10th, 1998 - 2:30 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hey, Y/n. Nothing has really changed in the last couple of months. Dad’s wanting to take me on more hunts but Dean’s holding him off. I know I’m ready to take on more of the big stuff. I just have to prove to Dean that I’m ready, that I can handle myself. You should come back and help me convince Dean I’m not a little kid anymore...You should come back... Love you”

June 1st, 1998 - 11:41 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Sammy got hurt today... We were hunting and... I don’t even know what happened. One second he was behind me and then we were separated and then he was hurt. Dad got pissed. Dad told me Sammy wouldn’t have gotten hurt if you were looking after him... I know he’s right... You were always better at looking after him than I was... Hell, you’re better at looking after me than I am... I don’t know how much longer we can keep going on without you. We’re falling apart here. Dad’s either hunting or emptying a liquor store. I’m trying to look after him and Sammy but... I can’t do this alone. I don’t know why you left or if you’re even- fuck... if you’re even getting these messages...”

October 31st, 1998 - 9:02 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Happy Halloween... Dean said I shouldn’t call... That you wouldn’t answer. That you’re probably not even listening to the messages... That might be true but still... You’re my sister and I miss you.”

December 25th, 1998 - 12:13 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Merry Christmas from Dean and I...”

December 17th, 1999 - 4:55 am

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“It’s been three years, Y/n... God, it’s been three years... I miss you like hell...Damn, I just... I just miss you”

December 17th, 2000 - 7:00 am

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hey, it’s Dean. Just checking in... Everything’s fine on our end. Dad and Sammy are both doing good. It’s been four years and... I guess we’re just now figuring out how to work without you *small laugh, sniffle*… Sammy’s doing good in school. I can finally drink *laugh* legally that is. I know you’re getting these messages cause Sammy and I have left a shit ton and the box isn’t full yet. That means that you’re deleting them. I guess on the bright side that means you’re alive... I don’t know whether to be happy or pissed... I guess a little bit of both... I miss you. Sammy misses you. Hell, even dad misses you even if he doesn’t say anything. I hope you’re listening to these and not just deleting them... I guess it makes me feel better to think you actually listen... Guess it means a small part of you still cares enough to at least listen to me ramble on... *sigh*… I want you to know... You can come back. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been gone, you can still come back. I want you to come back. Hell, I’d be happy for a damn phone call or even a fucking text! Something!... Just give me something...”

December 17th, 2001 - 6:26 am

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hey, it’s Dean. *Large sigh* I’m just... Just checking in... God, I wish you were here... More than anything... God, I need you. Text me where you are and I promise I will drop everything to come pick you up. Hell, I won’t even ask a damn question. Sammy and Dad have been going at it... It seems like it never ends. I can feel him pulling away. I know Sammy wants to leave and if Dad doesn’t lay off we’re gonna lose him just like... Just like we lost you... I can’t lose him.. I lost... I-I lost you an-and now *throat clearing*… If you come back then you can fix everything like you always could. You know, like, you could just... you can fix us... You can calm Sam down and make him stay... You can get dad to relax... I can’t keep this family together, they’re slipping through my fingers. Please, come back...”

July 8th, 2002 - 4:09 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“...Sammy’s gone... *slow sigh*… *sniffle*… I-... *quiet sob*…”

September 28th, 2006 - 6:37 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hello, this is Stacey with the - hospital. I’m calling for a Y/n Winchester. I have news about the passing of a John Winchester...”

May 1st, 2008 - 11:59 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Uh... Hey, it’s uh... It’s Sammy - err - Sam. *Throat clearing* It’s been a long time since I called... Dean didn’t want me calling and I didn’t think I would have too but I can’t put this off anymore... Dean made a deal with a demon... His contract is up in a couple of weeks. I’m doing everything I can to get him out but... *shaky sigh*… I don’t know if... It would be nice if... If we could just see you. Leave the past behind us, ya know?... I doubt you’ll respond but I just... I had to let you know...”

Sam sigh’s hanging up the phone. It fidgets with the device in his hand, hunched over his knees. He could feel his heart dropping in disappointment. Even though he knew you wouldn’t answer there was still a small part that just... hoped.

He turns his head when he sees something moving in the corner of his eye. Dean leans against the doorway with his arms crossed. Sam looks into his eyes.

Neither of them have to say anything. They just understand.

It killed Dean that no matter what they said to you over the phone, you never called back. You never sent a text. You sure as hell never showed up. You simply dropped off the face of the Earth 10 years ago. No matter how hard they looked, they couldn’t find a trace of you.

You were always the best. You were the best hunter, being the eldest of the three. You were the best ‘parent’, being the unofficial mother figure. You somehow managed being both mother and sister. It’s what made your disappearance so hard. The boys weren’t just losing a sister.

Despite the fact that they couldn’t track you, you could track them. In fact, you had been doing your best to keep your eye on them. You’re father had demanded that you leave, never come back, and never contact them. You tried your best but you loved your brothers, you had to make sure they were ok.

However, they’re Winchesters. Keeping tabs on them wasn’t always easy. There would be months where they would be the ones that fell off the face of the Earth before suddenly reappearing somewhere. 

You listened to every single voice mail they left. You would cry your eyes out every time. You couldn’t put into words the pain you felt when you heard their voices begging you to come back. You always looked forward to their calls but it never failed to send you into an anxious depressive mess for weeks, sometimes longer, afterward.

It didn’t matter though, you had to keep moving. You had to keep living. It’s not just you who you have to worry about. 

In a couple of months your daughter would be turning 10. Y/d/n Winchester. The father disappeared a couple hours after conception. You had tried to track him down but it wasn’t your main priority. 

Telling your father was extremely hard but him forcing you to leave was the hardest. He wouldn’t let you say goodbye to your brothers. He just told you to pack your bag and get in the Impala while the boys were asleep. He bought you a bus ticket to the furthest place that the bus went too and told you to stay away from the life.

He knew if you talked to your brothers you would be pulled back in. If you were pulled back in, your daughter would be caught in the supernatural mess. John knew a war would be coming and a little baby shouldn’t be in the middle.

As much as you love your brothers, your priority is your daughter. You loved her from the moment you found out she was in your stomach. You had to protect her, no matter what. It didn’t matter what happened to you, your daughter was going to live a happy life.

You always dreamed of a day where you could introduce your daughter to her grandpa and uncles. You dreamed of different scenarios. You prayed they would come true.

When you learned of your father’s death you wanted to cave that instant. You wanted to pack your things, pick your daughter up from school, and go to Bobby’s. You knew the boys would be there. They could cover their tracks but sometimes they were just down right predictable. 

But then you remembered how he died. The nurses had explained the weird things going on and you got the security footage. You watched Dean teeter between the living and the dead before miraculously recovering. Not long later, your father dies. You were able to put two and two together.

Watching the footage would be the first time you saw Sam and Dean since you were a teenager. You didn’t think it would be possible for them to be so tall. The longing for your brothers amplified but they were in deep shit with demons. That isn’t the life you could bring to your doorstep. That isn’t the danger you could bring to your daughter.

However, when you got Sam’s call your world stopped. Hearing that Dean would be dead in a few weeks, dragged to hell by those damn hounds, made you fall to your knees. Hearing about your father’s death, hell seeing it on camera, was one thing. But to lose your brother is something you never wanted to go through.

Sure, you haven’t talked to him but you knew he was alive. You knew he was still kicking ass and taking names. But now you knew he was going to die and there wasn’t a damn thing you could to about it.

But you could do one thing.

“Where are we mom?” Your daughter asks in the back seat as you pull up to a motel. You don’t answer her. Your eyes are glued on the sleek, black Impala. Suddenly you’re 19 again being dropped off at the bus station by your dad who’s telling you to never come back again. “Mom?” You shake the thoughts out of your head. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” You whisper.

You were not fine. Your anxiety is so high that someone would need an oxygen take to climb to the top. Your nerves are shaking your hands. You couldn’t sit still. You felt as if you were on the verge of a panic attack. You managed to keep yourself together not wanting to have such an attack in front of your daughter.

“Sam,” You whisper. You’re youngest brother walks to the Impala, not sparing your car a glance. You watch him open the truck and rummage through it.

“That’s Uncle Sam?” Your daughter asks. Your daughter knew almost everything about your family. She had an idea about the supernatural but not a lot.

“Yeah,” You whisper.

“When was the last time you talked to him?” 

“Too long,” You respond. Sam closes the trunk and begins to walk away. “Stay here,” You say sternly. “I’ll come back for you,”

“Ok,” Your daughter barely answers before you’re out the car following your brother. You were so nervous about the fact that you were about to approach your brother for the first time in a decade that you had forgot one thing. He’s a Winchester.

Sam rounded the corner and you quickly followed. What you weren’t expecting was for him to grab you and slam you against the wall with his forearm digging into your throat.

“Who are you?” He snapped.

“Damn, Sammy,” You choked. Sam frowns his eyebrows and you give him the best Winchester smirk you could muster. “What? Don’t recognize your own sister?” You joke nervously. Sam frowns his eyebrows even more as he takes in your features. “You were the one who called me...” Sam eases back a bit but isn’t completely sure if he trusts you. “Unless you plan on cutting me with some silver or splashing me with some holy water, mind stepping back?” You grab your brothers arm and pull it to the side allowing you to slip away from the wall.

“Y/n?” Sam whispers.

“The one and only,” You wink at him.

“You’re actually here?” Sam asks. You nod.

“I heard that Dean’s in a tough spot,” Sam ignores your comment. “Thought I’d come see you assholes,” The edge of Sam’s lip raises a bit.

“Mom?” Your head snaps to your daughter. Sam slowly follows your gaze.

“I told you to stay in the car,” You growled. 

“I wanted to meet Uncle Sam,” She says walking up cautiously. You sighed and motioned for her to come.

“Uncle Sam?” Sam whispers frowning his eyebrows.

“Sammy, this is Y/d/n,” You introduce glancing at your brother. “My ten year old daughter,” Sam meets your gaze and you can practically see the wheels turning in his head.

“Ten?” 

You slowly nod your head.

“Well, technically not yet but I will be,” She says running a hand through her hair. “It’s nice to meet you,” Y/d/n says holding out her hand. Sam looks down at her and instantly begins to notice the resemblance. He slowly begins to smile and shakes her hand.

“I’m going to assume Dean is with you,” Sam looks back to you.

“And Bobby,” You smile at the mention of his name. “Come on, they’d love to see you,” 

“I’m not sure if love is the right word but they sure as hell will be shocked,” You say following after him. Sam grins a bit but doesn’t comment. “Y/d/n, I want you to stay behind me or by Sam, alright? I don’t know how Uncle Dean and Grandpa Bobby are going to react but don’t be scared. If it gets too much, step outside, alright?”

“Ok,” Y/d/n nods. You smile kissing the top of her head. Sam glances back at you and his niece. A fond smile coming to his lips.

“We’re in here,” Sam mutters opening the door. Dean doesn’t even glance up but Bobby does. The instant Bobby sees you he drops the beer he was holding.

“What the hell, Bobby?” Dean snips when some of it splashes on him.

“Use your eyes and look, boy,” Bobby snapped back. Dean looks at Bobby and then to you. You notice Dean pale.

“Hi, boys,” You whisper.

“What’re you doing here?” Dean asks, after a long silence.

“I came to see you Dean,” You tell him. Dean scoffs.

“What do you want?” He rephrases his words.

“Nothing,” You shake your head. “Sam called-”

“We both called,” Dean snapped. “Hundred of times we called,” You press your lips together. “Did you even listen to them?” He asks standing up.

“Every one of them,” You whisper.

“And you never thought to call back?” He growls stepping closer to you. “What about the time Sammy begged you to come back? What about when I begged? When I told you we needed you? Where the hell have you been?”

“Taking care of me,” Y/d/n speaks up. Dean’s head snaps over to her. You look at her as well. She looks nervous but you smile proudly as she puts on a brave face and walks up to Dean. She looked scared but she didn’t waver as she stopped in front of your angry brother. “I’m Y/d/n... and I’m ten... almost,” 

Dean stares at her, his mind processing everything. He slowly looks from her, to you, back to her. She shifts a bit but continues to look strong.

“It’s my fault she had to leave,” She continues.

“Baby-” You try to interrupt but she wont let you.

“I don’t know the whole story but I know she misses you and Uncle Sammy and Grandpa John and Grandpa Bobby a lot,” You glance at Bobby. The old geezer has tears in his eyes as she says ‘Grandpa Bobby’. “She told me all about the pranks you would pull together and how you would all look after each other. She would tell me stories every night. She wanted to go back to you but she wouldn’t because of me...” She whispers.

“Y/d/n, we talked about this,” You say, slowly turning your daughter to face you. “None of this is your fault, ok? I love you and I don’t blame you a bit because it’s not your fault. Yes, I missed my brothers and your grandpas but I love you so much that I would stay away. There’s so much you don’t know still and I’ll tell you when you get a little older but-”

“It was safer for you two to stay away,” Dean whispers. You glance at your brother. He’s staring at you. “She just wanted to protect you, she did what she had to do. She was always good at doing the right thing,” You smile a bit.

“There’s a few things I could have done differently,” You shrugged.

“A text would have been nice,” Sam muttered and you smiles a bit.

“How about letters?” You ask. Y/d/n pulls a large stack of letters out of her bag. “They’re addressed to all of you,” You say tearing up. “There’s some for dad too but...” You sniffle a bit.

“You’re here,” Dean whispers, disbelief clouding his eyes. You glance at him. For a moment you’re looking at teenage Dean.

“And I’m safe,” You smile a bit. Dean’s smile widens just a bit. “I just have to figure out a way to keep you safe... Can’t leave you boys alone for a second,” You tease tearfully. Dean smiles and pulls you into a tight hug. Sam comes up to you as well and you wrap your arms around your little, yet taller, brothers. “I love you both so much,” You whisper.

@akshi8278​

[leewritesstuff]

Keeping Up With The Hollands | 02

Summary: You and Tom were offered to document your life since you are both famous in the entertainment industry. Now as you got older you left the entertainment industry and head for the medical field. How difficult can it be? Also, did I mention that you have kids?

Previous | CHAPTER 02 | Next

Series Masterlist

VIDEO: The Return of Superman (Triplets Special)

WORDS: 3.0K

WARNING: [ narrator thoughts/edit ] , {scene switch/confession}

Was supposed to be uploaded yesterday but because Tumblr was being an ass, it deleted 2K OF THE FUCKING WORDS. Had to start over.

[ 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 + 1 (adult)]

Tom got off the bed and sat in the middle, watching his four boys sleep. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he leans down and gave each of the boys a kiss.

"They're angels when they're asleep, but once they get up its chaos.."

He heads straight to the kitchen to prepare their breakfast, wasting no time. He stood in front of the fridge trying to figure out what they could eat. He decided on simple eggs and sausage.

{switch}

In the other room, whines could be heard, Tom heard the noise and enters the room quietly, trying not to wake the others

"Pa, Pa!"

He picked up the boy, give his cheeks a kiss and head to the kitchen.

"Where is Maxton?" Tom asked making the child smile.

"Here"

{switch}

Maxton Rolland Holland: 27 months old

Youngest of the four

The shyiest but artistic one out of the group. Can always be found painting or drawing.

"Here, here I am. Pa"

Max notices the camera in the house, watching them with a curious gaze. He poked his father's back, trying to gain his attention.

"What's that?" He questions, Tom looks around and smiled at what he was pointing at. "Not sure bub, what do you think it is?"

"Dinosaur~"

Tom laughed at that, he put the boy down and watched as he runs to the camera, he watched as Max licked the camera, "Oi, don't lick that. It's not to eat"

Nodding towards his father, he went to poke it instead. Maxton was amazed by the camera.

[ There are so many dinosaurs...]

Max went to the other end of the room and played with the other set of 'dinosaurs'. When the camera moved, Maxton froze, wondering if he was seeing things. He was surprised. He carefully studies the 'dinosaur' He moved around and watched as the camera moves with him.

Feeling a bit scared, he goes to the joint kitchen, to stay with his father. He goes to his high chair and climbs on it. He watched as Tom prepares the food.

"You hungry?"

"Yes"

As Tom scrambles the egg, Max started singing, "Food, food, food, food~"

{switch}

Hearing Maxton's loud singing, Chase got up from his sleep. He sat on the bed, watching the room.

Chase Spencer Holland: 27 Months old

Eldest of the four

The most bold and athletic one out of the four.

Tom came into the room and picked him up, giving him a good morning kiss on his cheeks. "Chase is up"

He carried the boy to the living room watching as Maxton run past him. Chase grabbed the vacuum cleaner from the living room and handed it to his father, he jumped when Tom put it on.

"Let's catch Chase," Tom said as he ran around trying to catch the boy with the vacuum. The loud screams woke up Edward who was now standing by the fence. Realizing that no one is paying attention to him, he shakes up the fence making even more noise.

"Papa! Papa! Papa, open!" Tom quickly goes to the fence and open it, releasing the boy.

Edward Hunter Holland: 27 Months Old

The second child of the four.

The strongest and musical one.

He watched as Edward runs to the camera. Being the mischievous boy he is, he knocked on the camera lens.

"Hey, hey! No. Don't do that" He cheekily smiled at Tom then ran away.

{switch/confession}

"I'm really not sure how Y/N did it...it's only 7:30 and I'm tired"

{switch}

Hearing Tom's yell woke up the last sleeping child. Jacob walked quietly to the fence and stood there watching everyone playing.

Jacob Jaxton Holland: 27 months old

The third child of the four.

The outgoing one, always ready to talk to people.

He watched as his father ignores him and goes into the kitchen.

[ Someone notice me please... ]

Chase, while he was walking he notices his other brother behind the fence. He runs into the kitchen and grabs Tom's attention. He grabbed his hands and carried him to the fence.

"Ah, sorry. I told you to let me know if you're up okay?"

Tom grabbed his four children and carried them to the kitchen so that they could have their breakfast.

After eating, Tom tried brushing the boy's teeth, keyword tried. Maxton and Jake didn't like brushing their teeth. Tom had to lock Maxton between his legs, trapping the boy in order to brush his teeth.

When the boys were dressed, Tom heads into the kitchen to clean up the mess they had made. his room to change into his outwear. While he was doing that, Chase, Ed, Jake, and Max was in the other room playing with their toys. Chase and Jake were in the corner playing with the building blocks while Maxton was in the folding mat laying down. Edward, being the mischievous one, took the end of the mat and flipped it over, turning Maxton over. He then stands on top of the mat, crushing his brother.

Hearing Maxton cry, Tom enters the room and frowns at the scene. He grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him off of the mat, then with his free hand, he went to pick up the crying child.

"Ed, Ed. Stop picking on your little brother. Go hug him, now" Seeing that the boy didn't want to listen, he pushed the two boys together, trying to make them hug. That made Ed cry, not wanting to cooperate, Tom took him into the other room, excluding him from the playroom and put him in the corner.

"Listen. you can not be bullying your little brother. That's not what brothers do. You wouldn't like someone doing that to you right?"

"N-No..."

"Good, now I want you to go inside and say you're sorry" Nodding his head, Ed grabbed Tom's hand and they both head back to the playroom. Tom watched as Ed runs up to his brother and hugs him. Maxton being the soft one out of the four, returned the hug and kissed his brother.

Before closing the gate, Tom turned towards his sons and said. "Don't fight okay?"

Jake slide halfway on the slide while Chase pushed the toy slide, showing off how 'strong' he is. Maxton goes to the corner to play with the stuffed bears they had. Ed was in the corner, playing with the building blocks.

Chase climbs up on the steps of the slide and plays with the buttons on the walls. Jake noticing came and asked him what he was doing but he was ignored. His eyes widen when he saw that Chase was playing with the remote.

"Put it back" Ignoring his brother, Chase kept on playing with the remote. Having enough, Jake climbs the steps and grabs the remote from his brother. Not liking that, Chase grabbed it back which started an argument between the two. Ed watches the two play with the remote.

"You'll get hurt, put it back!" But Chase ignored his brother's second warning. Maxton came over, holding one of the stuffed toys in his hand, climbs the steps, and stood with his other two brothers.

"Bad boy. No no"

Feeling anxious at how quiet the room is, Tom went to check on them. When he saw what they were doing he yelled

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?" The three boys froze, not expecting their dad to come in. "You naughty boys!" Tom pushed back the slide to the corner of the room.

After putting on the other three hat's Tom was feeling frustrated with his second oldest. Ed thought his father was playing with him, so every time Tom would try to put the hat on his head, the boy would move, giggling. Having enough, Tom put the boy flat on the ground and strap him down, locking him, he raised the boy's head and slipped the hat on. Feeling satisfied, he got up, grabbed all of their hands, and headed out the door. They followed their father like little ducklings outside towards their vehicle.

Tom walks out of the house rolling the car train with, Chase, Ed, Jake, and Max on it. He sat on the bike and peddle his way.

"Wow, this is a good workout!" He exclaimed peddling around the neighborhood, he talked about the colours of the grass and the different types of cars.

Tom put all four of his kids in the toy train seats, in order of Chase, Ed, Jake then Max, then he put himself on the bike and peddles away.

As he peddles, he was showing them the different types of objects around the area. Everyone was mostly hearing the yells of Jake and Edward.

{confessions}

"Since I'm an actor and I would need to be um fit for the roles, I'd need to go to the gym, but I have four kids, and it would be difficult trying to take them to the gym, plus it isn't safe, so I had to find another method. This seems to be easier."

{switch}

Tom peddles quickly, feeling the breeze dry his sweaty forehead. He peddles by a bridge that's connected to the park, he slowly rolled up on the bridge then went down quickly, hearing the joyful screams coming from the back.

"Again! Again!" He turned and looked at Ed who had his hands in the air, smiling at the boy he turns around and peddles back on the bridge but this time feeling the pain, panting loudly. His action was gaining people's attention.

Soon they made it inside the park where the bathing fountain was located. He takes out three of the boys and removed their helmets, then handing them a ball to play with. A few fans walked up to him and asked if they could get an autograph.

Chase quickly takes the ball out of his brother, Jack's hand, and runs to the fountain, loving the feeling of the water on his back. Runs Ed and Jack following after.

When he takes out Maxton, he realizes that the boy's diapers were full, "Oh my god, seriously?" He holds the boy and grabbed the diaper bag and heads to the male's washroom.

While he was changing Maxton, Jake ended up wandering off on his own. Chase somehow removed his clothes and was bathing naked, Ed, who didn't want to get wet, came over, trying to sheld his brother's nudity from people.

While Jake was wondering, he ended up talking to a few people, making him laugh at how cheerful and energetic he was, but because of his socializing, he got himself lost.

"Pa?" He questions, he walks to a tent filled with people to see if he was there but got sad when he wasn't, he counties looking around for him.

Tom came out with his youngest son, he looked around as to where his other sons were. He found Chase and Ed together, he quickly grabbed the boy, trying to cover him. When he realized that one of his children was missing he started yelling. "Jake!"

The said boy heard his name and came running towards his father, he fell but got back up and kept running. Seeing his son running, Tom, (also holding Chase) ran to the child, he grabbed him and carry the two back to where they originally were.

He put Jake down who went by Max and started playing, he put Chase on his lap, trying to put on the boy's pants for him. "Keep your clothes on" Nodding his head, he gave his father a cheeky smile.

He put the boy down and took off his socks and shoes he went by Ed who was standing on the side, grabbed the boy and carried him to the fountain, realizing that his son was scared of the fountain, he tried his best to make him feel safe.

He goes and picks up, Chase, the trio were playing until Max came, wanting to be picked up as well, Tom feeling unsure, although he struggled, he picked up the three boys. Then Jake came to him, "You want a lift?"

Nodding his head, he made grabby hands at his dad. Feeling Chase move to his back, Tom picked up Jake amazing everyone around him, started taking pictures of the family.

After a while, it was time to change. Tom took off Maxton's shirt while he was doing that, he noticed that Jake wasn't there. "Jake! Jake!"

The camera switches to the boy, holding a ball running to the girl's washroom. He watched the girl's smiling at them, he smiled back. While changing Max, Chase decided to follow his little brother. They both entertain into the girl's washroom, smiling and talking to them.

Max was changed, then Tom quickly went and change Ed, after changing him, he straps the two on the train then heads off to find his other sons.

"Chase! Jake! God these two will get me old quick. Chase! Jake!"

When the two saw their dad running towards them, they went back into the girls' washroom but were stopped by one of the mothers. Tom thanked them and walked away with his sons, trying to change them as quickly as he can.

After having lunch in a restaurant Tom took his ducklings home and changed them for the evening. Night came and it was almost their bedtime. In the playroom, Tom took out a toy goal post

"Okay so this is a goal post, you kick the ball in it" Ed took the ball and push it in the goal post, screaming happily.

Tom chuckled at the boy's silliness, "No Ed, that's not how you do it bub"

[Tom tries to show them how to play football, for the first time]

He took the ball and ut his foot on it. "You don't use your hands, you use your feet, now look at daddy" Tom starts to dribble the ball "I'm dribbling the ball. Gosh, it's been a while." But he notices his sons weren't paying attention, instead, they were more paying with the goal post and spare ball. When he did try to get their attention, he tried to shoot in the goal post.

He failed.

The only one who really understood the game was Chase since he kicked the ball and it went in the goal post. He patted the boy on his head, then he watched as Max and Ed push the ball in the goal post.

Feeling tired, Tom laid on the ground trying to take a small rest, but that was soon ended when Ed throws himself on his dad's stomach. He covered his head when Jake went to sit on his face. "You guys are hurting daddy, he needs his face"

Feeling a bit annoyed, Jake and Ed went to the camera dinosaur.

[If you won't play with us the dinosaur will]

Max laid his body on Tom's chest, slowly falling asleep to the breathing of his heart. He got up slowly and put Max into his bed, he picked the other three boys from the ground and carried them to their room.

Tom goes to call his wife girlfriend on the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi love"

"How was it? Taking care of them I mean?"

"Ah it was decent, good actually"

"Tom..."

"Alright, so it was a bit difficult but we had a good day today, we went bike riding."

"Okay, is that all?"

"No, you know the park with the fountain? Chase seemed to love it too much. We gotta get that boy to keep his clothes on" You laughed at that, already imgaining Chase running around in public naked.

"Ed didn't like it at all, kept screaming. Jake made a few friends today. Maxton mostly made mud pies for me."

"Really? I expected Ed to be the one to love it, huh."

"I know. I was really shocked."

"Did you put the waterproof diapers on them?" Tom's eyes widen at that.

"What?"

"I bought waterproof diapers to use in the pool."

"That's a thing?!"

"Yes Tom, I told you this before. If you wanted to take them to the pool you could use-don't tell me you use regular diapers?!"

When you didn't hear anything you laughed at him, not surprised that Tom would do this.

"Okay well, next time use them. Hey, I have work for 7. I love you alright?"

"Love you too, sleep well, bye" He hangs up the phone and stared at the picture on his phone screen.

{confession}

"I'm honestly amazed at my wife. When we found out that she was having quadruplets, the doctor strongly suggested that it would be good for both my wife and the babies...if we let two of them go. It was hard. They said it would pressure her heart if she didn't. I couldn't tell her no but.. I didn't want to lose any of them. She said she was going full out, that she wasn't going to give up, so one day I came home, I think we had a month or so left and she was standing there crying. Full-on tears. So I asked her what's wrong and she goes 'It hurts to walk' So..."

Tom had tears in his eyes, he wiped them and continued "I had to pick her up. We cried together. In the car. She was in so much pain, her legs and face were swollen...so many unexpected things happen, I kept asking the nurses if she was going to be alright. They were born a few weeks later, they didn't need to go into this incubator. I'm so proud of my girlfriend. I hope later on I could call her Mrs. Holland" He let out a laugh and smiled at the camera.

T A G L I S T

@webmeupspiderdaddy @runawayolives @nerdy-collector-festival @hopelessromm @bi-lmg @speedyhandsbonkpalace

(If you see this then I couldn't tag you)

Want to be added? Then message me!

[dynyamight]

meet cute number 47 is interesting!

send me a writting ask

47. Texting the incorrect number but continuing the conversation.

“You got all that, right?” Shinsou asks, readjusting his stance, so others can leave their classroom door easily.

Midoriya hums absentmindedly. He’s still quickly jotting down the last few digits onto his planner. “And, you said tomorrow morning, around 7? At the library?”

“Yeah,” Shinsou shrugs, “Or anytime really. The deadline isn’t until next month, you know.”

“I kinda just want to get it done, as soon as possible.”

Shinsou breathes out a snort. “Figured you’d say that much. Just make sure you got my number. Repeat it, if you need to.”

“No time.” Midoriya drops his bag to the side, shoving his now closed notebook inside. “Thank you! I’ll text you later tonight!” He offers hurriedly, before taking off down the campus halls.

Shinsou’s warning falls deaf to his rushed mind.

He has to run the entire way, in order to graciously catch the last bus for the hour. Sweaty and flushed, Midoriya slumps into his seat in relief. Fortunately, he was able to cop a seat for himself, settling by the window and his backpack right next to him.

Staring out, Midoriya tries to remind himself of the rest of his priorities he needed to do.

He still needed to start on Doctor Chiyo’s online Physiology exam, and gather his notes for the open book portion. It was a bit bothersome to handle tests online, but if the rest of class prefers it, there’s nothing Midoriya can do about it.

Speaking of which, Ochako had requested for copies of those exact same notes, since apparently she barely writes anything during lectures. He wants to suggest to her to just simply take better notes, but alas, he will gladly help her out.

And, finally, Midoriya has to collect reliable, approved research articles for his and Shinsou’s debate, in their argumentative project in Communications. Being assigned “PRO SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCE”, while being the most uninvolved people on the internet, Midoriya and Shinsou had a lot of work to do.

Not to mention it was already 18:00 by the time he reached the school’s dormitories. And yet, he needed to shower, make dinner, water his plants, and watch the newest episode of his favorite drama, airing tonight.

University was eating him alive.

Thankfully, he’s able to complete half of his list.

He finishes the exam with a 98%, and quickly snaps the pages of his notes over to Ochako and Iida, making sure to highlight the main topics questioned in the exam. Ochako sends a ‘thank you’ gif, and Iida texts a long, yet endearing message of gratitude.

Midoriya doesn’t have time to shower, instead blasting the TV volume loud, as he waters his indoor plants at the same time. He overwaters them a little bit, busy glancing back at the screen for too long. But, at least he’s able to watch the episode. He pouts when it ends on a cliffhanger, almost drowning his bonsai tree in frustration.

He’s only able to warm up a plate of leftovers, and read through only one research article, by the time it’s already blinking 21:30 on his phone. Sighing, Midoriya closes his laptop and grabs his cell phone instead.

An all nighter wasn’t preferable. But, if Shinsou is working overtime at his late night job, Midoriya supposes he can stay up and keep looking through more articles, until he has at least the required ten.

Flipping open his planner, Midoriya inputs Shinsou’s number into his phone. He adds his name, a contact photo of him sleeping, and finally taps a quick message.

(21:38) < You working?

When Shinsou doesn’t respond right away, Midoriya simply sets aside his phone on his desk. Stretching his arms, he sighs in defeat, now expecting Shinsou to be stuck at work.

He’s never worked at a restaurant, but he bets Friday nights can get pretty busy. And, Shinsou always complains that group outings and dates tend to stay over, even after the place is supposed to close. And, Midoriya trusts his word.

So, by the time his phone dings, Midoriya has been clicking through more articles on social media, bookmarking a few to go over later, as he went.

He lifts his phone, and with a bright screen, a message stares back at him.

shinsou hitoshi (21:58) > Who’s this

Oh, he did forget to specify. But, Midoriya smiles, having a small prank in mind. There was no harm in teasing his friends, let alone Shinsou, who definitely needed a good laugh, now and then.

(21:58) < It's the cutie from your communications class ;)

shinsou hitoshi (21:58) > So, no one

(21:59) < Haha! I guess you’re right about that

(21:59) < Anyways, it’s Izuku! You still working late, Hitoshi?

shinsou hitoshi (21:59) > This ain’t Hitoshi

Midoriya's face drops, blinking. Oh god, did he mistype the number?

(21:38) < Wait, you’re not???

Another text pops up, shortly after.

shinsou hitoshi (22:02) > You got the wrong number

Embarrassment burning his entire face red, Midoriya wishes he could delete himself from the world.

(22:03) < I’m so so so so sorry!

(22:03) < God, I thought I wrote down my friend’s number right

(22:03) < But, I was in this stupid rush to get on the bus that I didn’t make sure

(22:04) < And, listen, if I had missed that bus, I would’ve had to wait

(22:04) < Not like a few minutes wait

(22:04) < Like, a whole two hours wait!

shinsou hitoshi (22:05) > I didn’t ask

Deleting the conversation, Midoriya erases the new contact completely. And instead, he looks back to his planner, and retypes the numbers in his phone onto a new conversation.

Hopefully, he has typed the correct series of digits.

(22:07) < Hey, Hitoshi! It’s Izuku

unknown (22:08) > ...

unknown (22:08) > What the actual fuck

unknown (22:08) > You've still got the wrong number, you goddamn idiot

Slamming his phone onto his desk, Midoriya grabs a pillow off his bed and shoves it in his face. The temptation to scream sounds awfully pleasant, but it’s too late at night to do so. His dorm neighbors would definitely wonder what the hell is wrong with him.

What’s wrong? Oh, he has completely done one of the most dreaded imaginary scenarios in his head; text a complete stranger. Twice.

What was he supposed to do now? Never text back? Delete it? Block it?

How is he supposed to contact Shinsou now?

His phone dings again.

Lifting the pillow off his face slightly, Midoriya eyes his phone warily from his swivel chair.

That definitely wasn’t supposed to happen. Another text from the same stranger sounds a bit unheard of.

After a seconds-long hesitation, Midoriya lifts his phone and opens it once more.

unknown (22:13) > Double check next time

unknown (22:13) > You can fucking wait the two hours, dumbass

Midoriya grows a little irked. He has a bad feeling that his stranger isn’t too friendly, to say that least.

There was literally no reason to text back something so rude.

(22:14) < Well, that wasn’t nice

unknown (22:15) > Wasn’t trying to be

(22:15) < ..Are you always like this?

unknown (22:16) > Pretty much

(22:16) < That’s sad

unknown (22:17) > What’s fucking sad is that I was woken up from my sleep

unknown (22:17) > Because a damn moron didn’t write down the right number

Midoriya winces. He hadn’t even thought about the other person’s predicament, let alone if he had interrupted anything.

(22:20) > I really didn’t mean to do that, I’m sorry :(

unknown (22:22) > Yeah whatever

(22:24) > You should try to go back to sleep, then

unknown (22:25) > I was

unknown (22:25) > But the same moron from before keeps texting me

(22:27) > Who?

(22:33) > Oh.

(22:33) > It’s me, huh?

unknown (22:34) > No shit

(22:35) > Right, of course. My bad!

(22:35) > I’m going to just stop now

unknown (22:36) > Thanks

(22:36) > For the umpteenth time, sorry! ><

(22:37) > Okay, Okay! I’m stopping now, for real

Midoriya desperately needs to call it a night.

After going through his nightly routine, he slips under his bedsheets, exhausted. He sets an alarm for 5:00 on his phone, hoping Shinsou will show up at the library, regardless of the missing confirmation text on Midoriya’s end.

He keeps his phone on awhile longer, swiping through his professors’ emails, before a surprising text notification pops in front of him.

unknown (23:01) > FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

(23:02) > …

(23:02) > What was that for??

unknown (23:04) > I CAN’T SLEEP

unknown (23:04) > GOD, I CAN’T GO BACK TO FUCKING SLEEP

unknown (23:05) > AND IT’S YOUR FAULT

(23:06) > What do you expect me to do????

unknown (23:07) > HAHAHAHA OH DON’T WORRY

unknown (23:07) > IF I CAN’T SLEEP, NEITHER CAN YOU

unknown (23:08) > AND IF YOU TURN YOUR PHONE OFF I WILL SEND HELLFIRE

(23:09) > Wait

(23:09) > No, please

(23:09) > My alarm is on my phone, I need it on

(23:10) > I need to go to an important meeting for a group project at 7:00!

unknown (23:10) > Aw, really? :0?!

(23:11) > Yeah! I really do!

unknown (23:11) > Sike. I don’t fucking care

unknown (23:12) > Hope you eat shit tomorrow

(23:13) > ..Why are you like this?

(23:13) > I could literally be a twelve year old, for all you know

unknown (23:14) > I doubt fucking twelve years do group projects

unknown (23:15) > But whether you’re a damn infant, or grown adult, I hate you

(23:16) > I wouldn’t say I hate you. That’s too harsh

(23:16) > But, wow, you are very unlikable :/

unknown (23:17) > That’s the fucking nicest thing anyone has said about me

(23:18) > It wasn’t supposed

(23:19) > Nevermind.

(23:19) > Do you have any friends? Just might as well ask

unknown (23:21) > Surprisingly yeah

(23:22) > Oh, so you also agree. That it’s a surprise

(23:22) > At least you’re self aware :0

unknown (23:23) > Yeah, they are annoying as hell

unknown (23:24) > But, also pretty good people, I guess

(23:25) > Pretty good or pretty dumb?

unknown (23:26) > SHUT IT

unknown (23:27) > Only I can make fun of them

unknown (23:27) > You. Don’t.

(23:28) > You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that

(23:29) > I’m sorry :(

unknown (23:30) > You like apologizing, huh

(23:29) > There’s a lot to apologize for tonight

unknown (23:30) > Still, you don’t have to say it every damn minute

(23:32) > You probably don’t ever apologize

unknown (23:33) > Fuck no

(23:35) > Right, of course

(23:36) > Well, you know what I need to do tomorrow

unknown (23:37) > Unfortunately

(23:38) > What about you?

unknown (23:39) > I’m covering a shift at my shit job at the ass crack of dawn

(23:40) > Unnecessary visual, but I digress

(23:40) > Uh, where do you work?

unknown (23:42) > No. I don’t even know your damn name

(23:43) > I told you?? It was in my first text

unknown (23:44) > Yeah, I ain’t scrolling

(23:48) > Well, it’s Izuku. Midoriya Izuku :)

unknown (23:49) > Great. I still ain’t giving you mine

(23:50) > ?? Is there anything I can know about you??

(23:50) > You know more about me, than I do about you

unknown (23:51) > You know I hate you

unknown (23:51) > That’s plenty

(23:52) > But, I have been staying up for you :(

unknown (23:53) > Because it’s your fault I can’t sleep

(23:54) > You aren’t feeling sleepy yet?

unknown (23:56) > ..Are you

(23:57) > I asked you first

unknown (23:58) > I asked you second

(23:59) > That

(23:59) > Look, it’s almost midnight

(24:00) > Oh, now, it’s actually midnight

unknown (00:01) > I have fucking eyes. I can see the time

(00:02) > And we BOTH have places to be tomorrow

(00:02) > So, let’s just sleep. Call a truce, please

unknown (00:03) > What about my petty retribution

(00:04) > PLEASE LET ME SLEEP

unknown (00:10) > FUCK

unknown (00:10) > FINE

unknown (00:11) > I STILL CAN’T SLEEP BUT WHATEVER

unknown (00:12) > HOPE YOU FUCKING OVERSLEEP TOMORROW

The rest of the night, Midoriya hears his phone go off, but he doesn’t bother to open the messages. Fortunately for him, the time staying awake quickly catches up to his body, the moment he shuts his eyes. And, in an instant, he falls asleep, heavy.

However, he’s jolted awake by the ringing of his phone, the tone alerting him of an incoming phone call. Banging his head on the headboard, Midoriya blindly grabs and answers his phone. “Uh, H-Hello?” He blurts quickly.

“Tch.” A low voice emits, “You owe me, Deku.”

Click. The phone call ends.

Confused, Midoriya hurriedly rubs his eyes open. Running his messy curls through his fingers, he lifts his bangs up, in order to correctly look at the time.

The time was 5:10. And, his 5:00 alarm had been off the entire time.

And, instead, that same unknown number from last night was his saving grace.

[fereldanwench]

wench's very basic gif tutorial [photoshop]

@screechingtrashbarbarian asked me how I make my gifs, so I figured I'd throw together a little guide. ♥ This won't cover doing any kind of overlays, uniformed aspect ratio for gif sets, or adding text, but it should give the basics on converting a video into a semi-decent-quality gif.

What You Need:

Video capture software (I use the built-in screen capture from Nvidia, but there are so many free options available these days. I know Windows 10 also has an Xbox overlay you can use.)

Photoshop (I use the most recent version of it, but I've been using this process for about 5 years now. Some specific functions might be labeled slightly differently, but the gist of it should be the same.)

1. Record your video. The higher the quality your video, the higher the quality your gif, but you don't need to go nuts here. I record at my default HD screen resolution (1920x1080), but for smaller gifs, 720p will probably be fine, too.

2. In Photoshop, go to File > Import > Video Frames to Layers... and select your video. (If you don't see your video, it's probably not in a format that's compatible with Photoshop. I record in .mp4 just to keep it simple.)

3. When you get this popup, choose Selected Range Only and Limit to Every [#] Frames*. (Make Frame Animation should also be selected, but I think this is a default setting.)

Now use the sliders under the video preview to select the specific scene you want to gif. You don't have to be 100% precise here, and it's better to overshoot as you can delete the excess frames once it imports.

* Photoshop defaults this option to 2 frames, but depending on how long the scene is you want to gif, you might need to increase this to 3 or 4. My personal rule of thumb is that 540px shouldn't have more than 40 max frames, and anything smaller can go as high as 50 frames. Typically, though, I shoot for 20-30 frames per gif to keep the file size small while still keeping the quality decent.

However, if you find that skipping a lot of frames is making your animation look really choppy, you might want to consider breaking the scene up into 2 (or more) gifs.

4. Once you're happy with your range and frame setting, click OK and your workspace will now look something like this (emphasis on the Timeline and Layers windows):

5. Now I play the frame animation (the little triangle icon at the bottom of the Timeline bar) to make sure 1) I got the scene I wanted and 2) to see how I need to adjust the speed.

Photoshop defaults to .02 seconds, which is usually way too fast. Typically, I set my speed around .12 to .15 seconds, but the exact speed can vary depending on each project--Somewhere between .1 and .2 is often the sweet spot. Use the playback option to get a feel for how fast it moves, but don't be deterred if it seems slightly too jerky when you slow it down--I find that it smooths out a bit once you export the gif.

(If you're really unsure about the speed, you can always preview the gif by going to Export > Save for Web (Legacy) and taking a look at how it generates.)

6. If you do have some excess frames in your animation that you want to delete, first select the frames. Then click on the Timeline menu and choose Delete Frames.

7. I also recommend deleting the layers that corresponded with the deleted frames. These layers won't do anything if you don't delete them (provided you don't do anything wonky by accident), but removing them helps keep the file size smaller and your workspace a little more manageable.

To delete the layers, simply select the layers and click the trash can icon.

8. Now I resize the image to whatever I want the gif to be. You can also use the crop tool like normal if you want to adjust the aspect ratio. For the sake of simplicity, we'll just drop this down to 540px in width.

(If you notice that the quality of your images doesn't look right after resizing, play with the Resample options. Certain settings are more suitable for certain color palettes, graphics styles, etc.)

At this point, you have what you need for a finished gif. Just go to Export > Save for Web (Legacy) and choose the gif option that will suit Tumblr's size restriction while still looking good.

However, if you want to make a few more aesthetic changes, read on:

While you can technically edit frame-by-frame and adjust colors using Adjustment Layers stacked on top of all the frames and layers, it can be tedious and clunky and not always worth the effort.

So I prefer to use the Video Timeline/Smart Filter option:

9. In the Timeline menu, go to Convert to Video Timeline.

10. Now select all your layers, and go to Filter > Convert for Smart Filters. (Click OK if you get a popup explaining what the action will do.)

Your workspace should now look like this, with one single item under Timeline and one single item under Layers.

11. The first thing I like to do is run the Smart Sharpen filter: select your layer, go to Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. These are typically the settings I use, but this is another situation where you might need to tweak settings based on the type of gif you're making.

12. Now I play with some color correction. Again, the exact settings will vary on every project and can require a little trial and error, but I mostly use the Levels and Hue/Saturation options to make them a little brighter and more vibrant. (Lately, I've been on a kick of desaturating yellows a bit and increasing reds and blues. You can isolate the specific colors you want to edit in the dropdown menu of the Hue/Saturation module.)

If I'm doing a gifset, I also prefer to do these edits as layers (Layer > New Adjustment Layer) rather than as direct image adjustments, so I can just copy the layer over to my other gifs. But, since you converted these to a Smart Object, you can use the direct image adjustment options instead (Image > Adjustments > [Choose your poison]).

You do want to be cautious about having too many colors in your palette, however. A lot of color means a very large file size and often a lot of dithering if the gif file type can't support all the colors in your file. I did recently learn about this trick to help clean up color noise a bit, but it's kind of tedious and I don't know that the payoff is totally worth it. (I tried it with this set, and ehhhhh. You can be the judge.)

13. Once you're happy with your colors, you get to export! Go to Export > Save for Web (Legacy) and on this window, choose the 4-Up option to see the choices you have available:

Usually, the choice in the top right is the best option, but not always. And if you're unhappy with all of them, you can cancel the export option and go back and tweak the colors.

This is the end result! It's actually a little faster than I would have liked (granted, that could also be because the scene I'm making a gif of is kind of fast-paced--little things like this can also affect gif quality), and the colors could probably be tweaked a little more, but that's the gist of it!

[ktheist]

04 — show me yours & i’ll show you mine | m

➙ muses. seokjin x college student / gamer!reader ft. best friend! taehyung

➙ genre. best friend’s brother au. university au. working au. fwb au.

➙ word. 2.9k

➙ warnings. angst

➙ index. 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | finale | side story 1 |

➙ warnings. explicit content. smut. 

➙ synopsis. 

“you wanna say goodbye?”

“yes, i would love to say goodbye.”

x

one second, you’re exiled from taehyung’s room and the next, you’re under lockdown in the same exact room you were forbidden to enter. 

the boy who always made a fuss about cleaning up - cleans up his mess without a single complaint. you thought he’d come knocking on the (his) door and ask for your help but after an hour of twiddling your thumbs and swaying your feet in the air, kim taehyung finally walks in with beads of sweat on his forehead and that ugly stain of a vomit on  his shirt.

he pulls it over his head and tosses it into the laundry before pulling a fresh mickey mouse printed shirt and slips into bed. the temptation to text jeongguk or hoseok or jimin to pick you up has never been stronger but you bite the inside of your cheek, lay out the futon and turn off the lights.

“good night, tae.” you say into the darkness, not expecting for an answer.

“why did you do it?” the darkness whispers back.

“it just happened,” you know better than to offer half-baked excuses for something you completely intended and would even pursue if you didn’t get caught in the middle.

when silence lapses into the room, you thought the matter done and buried six feet under you and taehyung’s conscience. 

not the first time you’ve been wrong.

“why seokjin? why not me?” his lips brush yours, tasting like heartbreak and missing the part where he’s supposed to be drunk and out of his mind for even daring to get so close to you.

to let his hair brush against your forehead. to let his hand snake down your thigh with feather light touches until he’s an inch away from grabbing your ass. if he dared try, your kick wouldn’t be aimed at the air to which he moves it away and places that hand next to your head, boxing you under him completely.

“ew, what the fuck?” and despite the trapped-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place situation, you manage to lean as far away as you can. or so you’d like to think, but you can still feel his breath fanning your neck.

you wish you have an owl’s ability to twist its neck all the way to the back.

“you’re my best friend, taehyung! get off!” you feel like a child hitting her father with her tiny little fist. taehyung doesn’t even flinch when it hits his chest.

but he pulls away anyway, standing on his knees over you within a lull in time before he falls back on his butt in the space between your parted calves. the wrist of his hand that’s propped against the floor brushes against the side of your foot.

“do you get it now? we grew up together,” his voice echoes into the dark, “my brothers are your brothers- that- what you did- that was messed up, ___.”

“so? was creeping up on me like that necessary?” you retort,  pushing yourself up and hearing the thud pillow you vehemently hurled at the silhouette of the man hunched over a couple feet away from you, “you perv!”

“how much do you like seokjin?” he asks, trapping the pillow in his lap, under his elbow, but before you can even say anything, he shoots you another string of question, “do you even like him?”

“stop making it sound like i’m the bad guy,” you huff, “as if your brother’s such a saint. he wanted it just as much.”

“i don’t care who wants it more, fuck’s sake,” he says roughly, “all your past relationships have only been sexual.”

holding up one hand, you find your shadow cloaked fingers much more nails, “your point being?”

“don’t you stop to think about how much things’ll change? how awkward it’ll be at family dinners once you finally got tired of each other? how awkward it’ll be for me?” 

“oh, because everything’s about you, isn’t it?” you roll your eyes yet your stomach churns.

only silence hangs over the darkness as your teeth sink into the soft flesh of your bottom lip. taehyung pushes himself out and marches out of the room whilst you stay rooted in your spot, curled into a ball with your legs against your chest.

when morning comes, you’re awaken to the sound of taehyung padding around with a towel wrapped around his waist, water dripping off his hair and trickling down his chest, “there’s no one if the bathroom, if you wanna wash up.”

it’s the only exchange you have in the morning and throughout the drive to your uni until taehyung parks the car in the spot somewhere near your faculty.

“i thought about it,” you finally say, breaking the silence. the way he turns to you in your periphery makes you want to shrink into the seat and crawl away like an ant but you shrug instead, “what you said last night - i thought about it... you’re right, you guys are the closest family i have here. and i don’t wanna ruin that just cause i can’t keep it in my pants.”

the soft hum of the music fills the space between you, making the unspoken truth a bit more bearable than a pin-drop silence. taehyung’s hair sways for the briefest moment as he arches his brows in contemplation before unsmiling lips curl into that signature box smile, “really?”

“yes, really,” you roll your eyes, “one dick wasn’t worth losing my best friend over.”

“i’d hug you but i’m still having withdrawals from what i saw last night,” tahyung’s face scrunches in disgust.

“oh so that’s what it takes to get your sleazy hands off me. by the way seokjin-” trickles of laughter escapes your mouth as you hop out of his car, managing to avoid his swatting hand just in time, “bye! thanks for the ride!”

x

the mindless banters between you and taehyung never cease, if anything, it goes from playing rock-paper-scissors to decide where to eat to googling up and showing each other pictures of poisonous shrooms in case you get lost in the woods for more than 36 hours.

you used to have lunch together every other day, but taehyung comes to you for a continuous three day, hitting four days streak in between classes this week. each time bearing that boyish grin that could fool just about anyone when it comes to picked-up pieces of a broken heart.

“she texted me,” he shrugs, twirling his chopsticks in the bowl of cold noodles and letting the silence hang stale without any hint of providing more information until you nudge it out of him.

“i didn’t text back.” he says it as if it’s the easiest thing to do.

“it’s so easy for you boys, huh?” you don’t know where in the deities greenland he got the narrowing of your eyes and the scrunching of your nose as-

“seokjin didn’t text you?” the titled smile of his tempts you to smack it off his face right that instance.

“how- wha- that literally has nothing to do with your bitch ass ex-girlfriend who were talking about though?” kim taehyung doesn’t offer any response, only the sway of his shoulders as he laughs before digging into the sweet, savory noodles in front of him.

it’s only after you’ve returned to your faculty, fast-walking towards your lecture, that you find out the subject matter himself sitting hunched over on one of the benches laid out along the roofless pathway that leads to your faculty. the jaws of the girls and gays that happen to be standing a few feet away, drops at the way seokjin looks up, eyes squinting at the sudden intrusion of the sunlight before his lips curl into a smile.

“hey,” there’s that smile you miss so bad.

x

it turns out seokjin’s little shit of a brother and your ass of a best friend snuck into his room, flashed a light over his face, bypassed his phone’s lock and deleted your number, blocked you on snapchat and unfollowed you on instagram.

“and here i thought you were done with me,” your jaw would have hung loose if you don’t have the tip of your venti mocha swirl keeping your lips together as you stare at the pavement, walking aimlessly with seokjin down the path of rose beds.

“i took the day off, decided to try my luck, and hope you’d see me at waiting for you awkwardly - everyone probably thinks ‘who the hell is this old ass guy hanging around-’“ his words get cut off by your gasp as you feel your face hurting from the way your lips are almost reaching your ears.

“you did?” shoulders sagging, you press a hand to your chest where you heart flutters with a sort of warmth, “for me?” before holding your arms out in an invitation for a hug and retracting them not even a second later, “no wait- i promised tae i wouldn’t do this.”

somewhere along the lines, you find yourself at the sky rose garden because the pathway you found him at, all of a sudden, becomes a runway for the girls and gays. they pass you in a guise of walking by whilst their eyes linger on his broad chest and pants that hug his thighs and the protrusion of his natural size that wasn’t going to get smaller than that.

“what he doesn’t know won’t kill him- or us,” there it is again, the melodic hymn of a chuckle as he opens his arms for you, the action ever so natural, as if he’s done this a couple of million times.

and just like that, you fall into his embrace, cheek mushing against his chest as you inhale the familiar scent of mint seaside and the faintest scent of woody earth. you find it unfair that his heart beats steadily whilst yours thrash in your chest. maybe that’s the cause of your cheeks heating up.

“i can do it, you know?” his voice vibrates against your ears in a honeyed tingles, “i can use my ‘big bro influence’ and get him off our backs.”

you lift your head, breath stuttering at the sight of star glinted eyes gazing down at you with the gentles smiles, “should you?” but you shake your head a second later, “no, he’d hate me forever - he’ll know i put you up to this because you’re too nice. you’d ne-”

a finger under your chin and a tilt of your head and you’re lost in an ocean of galaxy, “i brought up the idea, if anyone’s gonna get in hot water, it’s gonna be me.”

“that’s not what taehyung’s gonna think,” the recollection of your conversation with the aforementioned man floods your mind and almost as if an invisible current wraps around your body, you find yourself  taking a step back in surrender.

“and he’s right, seokjin,” the way his eyes flash with a sort of emotion - one that you can’t pinpoint, let alone interpret the meaning of - doesn’t go unnoticed by you yet you go on, “this has to stop. once the passion simmers down and we get bored of each other, what do you think is gonna happen?”

but the words that hits the air is like frostbites to your warm, beating heart, “you already have it in your mind that we’re gonna break up.”

it takes you a second to clear your throat, another to gather your thoughts, “relationships like ours always end with a break up.”

galaxies are littered with illuminating stars but you’re a fool to have turned a blind eye to its dark side. and seokjin’s stars have dimmed, leaving only a trail of shadow in those clouded eyes.

but the half-hearted smile that curls on his lips appears like a ray of sunlight on a cloudy day, “do you wanna at least goodbye?”

your eyes follow his that trail down to the noticeable bulge in his pants.

“yes,” you beam, “i would love to say goodbye.”

x

the cars and the scenic view of the highway pass by in a blur, not that you’re in a position to stare out the window like a heartbroken woman whose fiancee set out for way.

“slow down,” there’s a desperate plea in his voice, “i don’t want to cum too early.”

the stern, warning look he shoots you is makes you giggle. what with his flushed face and twitching self in your hand.

how adorable.

“but you taste so good, jinnie,” your tongue sweeps past your lips, licking the pre-cum off his oozing tip.

“keep teasing me like that if you want me to pull up and fuck you on the side of the road,” the threat on his tongue sends tingles down your spine.

eyes glinting, you can basically hear the blatant disregard in his voice when he first asked if you’d climb up in his lap while he was hitting the back of your throat after you’d quickly scurried into his car for the last goodbye.

so you take it slow, licking him down his length as his hand settle on your head, caressing your hair.

the door closes behind you as seokjin pushes you against it, his hand on your cheek as he crashes his lips against yours and your hand reaching under his boxers. it looked almost painful as he zipped up his pants before getting out of the car and walking the distance between the parking spot and the apartment.

you distinctly remember the sight of a blanket on the couch and an opened laptop on the coffee table, the red of the cans of energy drinks laying around on the ground and surface of said coffee table - they only ever try to clean up when they know you’re coming for your weekly stay over.

but who are you to judge when your clothes soon join the cans on the floor, forming trails down the hallway.

by the time your body lightly bounces on top of seokjin’s bed, you feel the cold air brush against your skin whilst he stands over you like a beast drinking in the sight of the prey he’ll devour. but you don’t mind if that allows you to admire the beautiful landscape of tight abs and powerful physique.

a sort of dread washes over you at the thought of such length coming close to the apex of your legs. taking him in your mouth was doable but only because you’ve had enough practice to know how to adapt to certain lengths by steadying your breath. but you’ve had enough experience to know you wouldn’t just be able to get use to his size right off the bat.

and he’s the biggest you’ve ever met.

your hand runs over the ridges of his muscles biceps before they twine together over the nape of his neck. it must have been the way you look at him, the yearning that pours through gaze and beckons him like a siren’s song. 

the spot of the bed a few inches from your head dips as he props himself on his forearms, lips marking your skin as his.

“seokjin- ah!” you should already used to the bold caress of his tongue around your nipple.

your control is devastated, your thighs are quivering and seokjin’s touches have enthralled you in a fierce flare of yearning. 

“ah,” you breathe out, gaze unfocusing as pleasure and discomfort flood from your core while he deliberately stretches you out.

his hand returns to the side of your face as he stays inside you, lets you feel him, take him for what he is whilst he kisses your cheekbone, your jawline and burry his face in your neck. 

your breath stutters as you feel him slide out of you, heart beat stammering for the briefest moment when his tip kisses your entrance before he pushes himself in deeper than before.

but you know you haven’t taken all of him in.

not yet.

“you’re stretching me out so good,” you say barely above whisper.

“not even half is in, baby,” is all he says before you feel the muscles in his back flexing as he shifts most of his weight onto his hands, thrusting deeper into you.

“fuck,” you moan, the discomfort fading away as pleasure surge through your body in waves as your arms wrap around seokjin’s neck, face buried in his shoulder until you don’t know where he starts and where he ends.

lost in wicked delight, your fuzzed mind barely registers the sound of your phone despite its blares a few inches above your head where you remember tossing to before slipping out of your jeans and succumbing to the reckless savage lust that neither you nor seokjin should speak about to a single soul.

“pick it up,” the man’s husked voice drums in your ear clearer only because of the cease of ripples of pleasures as he stills.

“wha-” you don’t say much, groping around for your phone before shooting him a pleading look of ‘can’t this wait till after you give me the greatest orgasm of my lifetime?’

“it’s taehyung,” the name that spills out of your mouth strikes guilt into your beating heart.

“hm? you’re tightening up. is it because of my little brother?” the surge of possession in his voice tempers with your sanity, it drips like sweet honey rose and mars your skin with its thorns, “answer the call.”

x

note. ooof ig yall know what next chapter’s gonna be. maybe.

taglist. @aretha170 @scalubera @ambersaesthetics​ @heyjiminnie​ @hyuck-me​ @fanfuckingfic​

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2020 - June 13, 2021

2019-2020

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: It's our first morning

Date: Aug 20th, 2020 Time: ~ 2:18 h I really like how this one turned out!!! The 2020 Emma b-day edit has a lot of major panel redraws, but this is probably my favorite. I I really enjoy how I made the shadows work!! And the ear banfage looks pretty neat. Nice!!! Immagine

#2: Norman birthday edit 2021

Date: Mar 20th, 2021 Time: ~ 2:21 h Awww, soft Norman :') There was a bit to redraw, but I think everything turned out pretty neat!!! I believe everything works out fine. Though looking back at it, the part of the ID I added is definitely top small :')

#3: Manga dub: Yuugo gets knocked out

Date: Mar 27th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:05 h Here start the Manga Dub redraws to which I gave my everything ahah. This one turned out nice! I think the shoes turned out particularly good eheh. I like how Yuugo's clothing lineart- for the texture, I wanted to go for something heterogeneous, but I'm not fully confident in the final result. Gilda looks very rushed but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#4: Manga dub: Yuugo makes his dramatic entrance

Date: Apr 5th, 2021 Time: ~ 4:02 h This is pretty cool!!!! The coat took ages to redraw, but sis it turned out perfect!!! I'm very proud of this.

#5: Manga dub: RayGildEmma hug!!!

Date: Apr 9th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:31 h Awww, a beautiful panel I was really happy to have the chance to redraw. Taking into account what there was to redraw, I'm actually surprised with how little this took! Ray's backpack was a pain to make, but I think it turned out fine. I'm very happy with Emma and Ray's heads!!

#6: Manga dub: Formalities

Date: Apr 12th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:31 h It is not always easy to give sense to Demizu's perspective, but I do my best!!! In this I am *so* happy with how Don and Ray turned out, they look neat! The background on the other hand... It took hours to make ahah. I'm not fully confident in the perspective, but I'm happy with the details I've added- I really did my best to make it look like athe other manga panels and I think it paid off!!!

#7: Manga dub: We may be weaklings, but we're still alive

Date: Apr 30th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:37 h This little Emma is so cute!!!!!! I think the redraw turned out pretty perfect. I'm really satisfied with how this one turned out, and it's such a cute little Emma!!!! She's so brave and optimistic, I love her. It's a shame this panel didn't make it to the episode :')

#8: Manga dub: Goldy Pond Gang

Date: May 7th, 2021 Time: ~ 8:44 h lmao This is probably the panel redraw I'm the most proud of ever :') Just think everyone turned out very nice!! The ceiling is not exactly perfect, but it still works somehow. I'm very happy with how Gillian's back turned out!! I don't really like the fading effect on the right, but 8h in I got pretty tired of working on this ahah

#9: Manga dub: This is Goldy Pond

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 1:29 h I'm very glad for how the Manga dub has been challenging me to learn to redraw backgrounds, something I had quite literally never tried before. It can be a little frustrating, but it's so satisfying to see the final cleaned piece!! With this panel, I also learnt to use copy and paste, which is something I had never done before beyond texture

#10: Manga dub: Good morning doctor

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 3:42 h This is another background that turned out pretty good!! That one Norman is one I knew I would have had to fully redraw sooner or lager- the background was a bonus ahah. I'm very happy with the final result!!

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: The Promised Neverland manga ending edit

Date: Jun 14th 2020 Time: ~ 12h 41min (5h 45min of cleaning panels in the edit + 5h 37min of cleaning panels that didn't make it to the edit + 1h 19min of resizing) + time spent cleaning panels I've deleted the file of so I can't see lmao This is overall very nice!!! The concept of an Emma evolution through her back is cool, and I think overall the edit turned out very aesthetically pleasing. The concept idea came to me while I was working on the 2019 Emma's birthday edit, a long time before the manga ending announcement- back then I wouldn't have imagined using it in occasion of the manga ending, but I think it ended up making a nice tribute. The colors add a nice touch, since so far my edits had always been black and white- it makes a sweet closure. To make that edit I selected 76 panels of Emma framed from her back; I plan to make other versions of that edit using the discarded panels eventually!

#2: Emma - Chapter 181: Beyond Destiny

Date: Jul 12th 2020 Time: 2h 57min My last edit for the manga 🥺🥺 I think this one is my very "manga ending edit" because to me it really signed the ending of weekly chapters and their weekly chapter edits. It makes me a little sad to look at it, but it's also, I don't know, kinda sweet to see how I grew both in my panel cleaning and as a person since I first started my blog. I'm glad I got into TPN!

#3: Emma birthday edit 2020

Date: Aug 22nd 2020 Time: 8h 54min This one turned out so well!!! Though I used the same concept for all the trio edits, I think this one is the best one. The two panels on the left / two panels on the right alternation combo never fails ahah. The colors are nice (shout-out to my sister for making me a palette), despite the fact that it was hard for the lighter ones to make them work with the images without having those disappear. I'm very satisfied with the panels I chose for this, I think they work really good together! Also, it got me very happy to read everyone's comments saying they liked the fading effect in the last panel :)

#4: Emma + Eyes Close Ups [1/?]

Date: Jan 24th 2021 Time: 5h 55min This one was really nice!! Another idea I got when working on the 2019 Emma birthday edit I was glad to finally execute. Started the edit in September, finished it in December. I'm overall very happy with how it turned out... I hope I will be able to make more in the future!

#5: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (9/?) » 114 // 122

Date: Feb 23th 2021 Time: 5h 7min (panel cleaning only) Aaaaahh I really like this one!!!! A parallel I love very much, and I'm really happy with how the edit turned out. All the hair redrawing looks neat!!!! The gif is maybe a little excessive, but I think overall it's a nice edit. I like it!!! Fun fact, I completed it on August 26th 2020, but I couldn't find the right moment to post it ahah.

Honorable mention: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (5/?) » 08 // 16

Date: Aug 30th 2020 Time: 2h 52min (Second picture cleaning only; I deleted the first picture art file so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) I don't have much to say about this one except!! It turned out very nice!!!!! Love the pen lmao.

Top 10 analysis:

Too many analysis,,

#1: Post chapter 181 Emma analysis

Date: Jul 9th 2020 Mmmh a nice analysis. I think it was important for me to put down in words what I think of Emma's characterization and the manga ending, so I'm happy I did it!

#2: A long Oliver analysis because I love him very much

Date: Dec 6th 2020 What can I say I just love Oliver tons 😔😔💕💕 This was very fun to make!!!

#3: TPN s2 previsions

Date: Jan 14th 2021 Really love the effort that went into this + me proving that 11 episodes GP could have possibly worked + it's just a lot of fun to read again after s2 ended pffft

#4: More s2 delusional previsions lmao

Date: Jan 27th 2021 I think the points and previsions I made where pretty neat!! In my defense, it was pretty impossible to predict the anime would have ended with this season. I always feel honoured when friends and Anon ask for my opinion, I'm like "you wanna know what I think? Wow. I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍) " Thank you to anyone who ever sent me an ask!!

#5: Why Emma not wearing pants is 𝕨𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘

Date: Jan 29th 2021 Really proud of this!!! Pants Emma is important!!!!!

#6: Post episode 5 manga Emma analysis

Date: Feb 4th 2021 A depressed analysis, but a necessary one 😔

#7: Norman analysis

Date: Feb 12th 2021 I love him!!!! And I'm happy I eventually got to put down in words what I love about his character. The day I posted this ww3.readneverland was in maintenance so I couldn't use the volume scans for it- the thought of that post having fan edited and fan translated scans still haunts me

#8: RayDon rambles

Date: May 12th 2021 I had a blast writing this and like. It's likely the post of mine I reread more often of them all. I love this ship tons!!!!! I'm satisfied with how I put down in words what I like about them. I LOVE THIS SHIP

#9: Chapter 58 analysis

Date: May 23th 2021 I've wanted to express this concept since like the first time reading the manga- I'm so happy I finally did!!!! This concept is one of my absolute favorite things about tpn- the feelings that people are good. The concept that kids who got to live in an healthy and supportive environment will always be inclined to kindness and altruism, because humans are just inherently good. From the Three Character Classic: “people at birth are inherently good”. I want to have faith and courage to hold on the goodness in myself, and to hold on the goodness in the world, no matter how difficult it to do that (Chloé Zhao).

#10: Norman and Lambda squad relationship analysis

Date: May 24th 2021 I think this was a pretty sharp analysis and I like what I did with it!!

Other stuff:

#1: Krone birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th 2020 This edit is so good ;; Like not perfect since it was my first attempt at coloring gifs but still I believe it turned out so good ;;;;;; The time and effort that went unto this is crazy, but... Maybe I'm happy to have dedicated time to something I like for a satisfying result.

#2: Get to know my ship- Wolfpack Trio

Date: Aug 24th 2020 Uuuh a good post. A good ship.

#3: Gilda + blank glasses

Date: Aug 27th 2020 This is such a cute nice compilation!!! I love looking at it. A few panels are missing but still :')

#4: Apollo Ray AU

Date: Sep 7th 2020 (Though it was written Sep 2nd 2019 lmao) I'm so happy I finally gathered the courage to post this 😭😭 I really enjoy what I did with this AU, so this one and its other installments are all posts I have a lot of fun rereading. More than everything, I was astounded and overjoyed by the positive response it got: that gave me tons of confidence to put my ideas out there, no matter how unique they sound!!! Here's to hoping I will be able to post my RayEmma Hadestown AU, by other big AU from late summer 2019 :')

#5: TPN timeline project

Date: Dec 2nd 2020 This is like. I don't know it's a lot ahah. Arguably the project I'm the most proud of ever making. I'm just so happy of all the months long hard work and of the final result!! The post didn't receive much response (though the ones I got were extremely kind and sweethearted so that totally makes up for it), but in the end I don't really mind? I'm just so proud I accomplished that idea :')

#6: TPN calendar

Date: Jan 4th 2021 A nice sum of the tpn timeline + everyone's birth dates!!! I really like how it turned out visually. It's a cute little tpn calendar!!!

#7: Ray smiles compilation

Date: Jan 17th 2021 Ray's smile. That's it that's the post :')

#8: Trans Oliver headcanons

Date: Jan 24th 2021 MMMH really like this headcanon I think about it a lot

#9: Thoma and Lani theory

Date: Jan 28th 2021 I really don't want to brag but this is the best joke I've ever made :')

#10: My TPN AUs

Date: May 10th 2021 Ok you gotta admit those are very good AUs, I'm glad to have made a list out of them!!!

#11: Ranking Emma promotional art outfits

Date: May 16th 2021 This is one people seem to have liked a lot which makes me happy ahah. I'm glad to know we can all agree Emma deserves more pants outfits!! Please stop it with the gendered clothing :') This is the post I want to be remembered for

#12: TPN musicals AU part 2

Date: May 20th 2021 A GREAT POST I can't stretch enough how happy I am with those character-song associations. I hope I have time to make a part 3 in the future!!

#13: TPN Drive folder

Date: May 30th 2021 This was born as a way for me to have all the tpn extra contents easily accessible, but I'm happy to have shared it with people- I hope it will turn out to be useful to others too!

#14: TPN s2 recolorings

Date: Jun 12th 2021 A more diverse children cast is good for the soul :')

That's it, this year was really fun!! Thank you to everyone who supported me through it, I can't express how grateful I am for all the kindness and validation I received. Here's to many more months in the fandom!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

[hotpinkhoshi]

kiss it better | two

pairing: mark tuan x reader

genre: angst, smut, brother’s best friend au (sort of)

warnings: age gap (nine years), cursing, explicit sex, slow burn

summary: you were off limits for more reasons than mark could count. but everything changed for him the day you walked into his tattoo shop with those big innocent eyes and a laugh like his favorite song. he couldn’t. he wouldn’t. and yet…

a/n: hi babies, how are we all doing? life is weird right now. i hope you’re all staying healthy and sane. please take care of yourselves! regarding the chapter, thank you guys for reading the prologue and chapter one! i know it’s a more subtle and slow burn than the pact was, but TRUST ME it will allll be worth it in the end. oh, and i wanted to point out: if you were confused by chapter one, make sure you go read the prologue first! i had titled it “preview” before but honestly, it’s important that you read it before diving into the story. 

✩ index here ✩

“No way! I loved that show. I was so sad when it ended,” you said, fingers ripping apart a second slice of pizza for yourself.

Mark grimaced, shaking his head. “Agh, no. The special effects were laughable.”

“Oh, so you’re one of those people?”

His deep brown eyes narrowed at you from across the restaurant booth. “What kind of people?”

You licked your lips and shrugged your shoulders. “You know… a snob.” You fought a smile.

Shaking his head at you, Mark chuckled, a low gravelly tone. “No, no. I just can’t do it. When I was in school, I wanted to work on special effects. I know it’s hard work, but I think that’s why I hate seeing people do such a half assed job.” 

You raised a brow. “You wanted to do special effects?” 

“Mm,” Mark replied, chewing his slice of supreme veggie pizza. “Played a lot of video games… still do, but you know, it was all I did back then. I wanted to be in the business so bad, so I thought about it. It turned me onto graphic design, which turned me onto art, which brought me here.” 

You’d been at this pizza shop for nearly an hour and you hadn’t stopped talking since. It was so incredibly easy to talk to Mark, and you weren’t sure if it was because in some way, he reminded you of home. But in an unexpected way that didn’t make you sick to your stomach.

He was also far more interesting than you’d ever thought he was. You found it so impressive how he’d found his passion and fought for it, even if it meant he might fail. If there was something Mark had an excess of, it was passion. You could easily tell from just the first moment you asked him about how he’d gotten into tattooing. 

“Wow,” you remarked, licking pizza sauce off of your thumb. “I never knew you were into all this stuff back then.” 

“Well… when I graduated you were, what? Nine?” 

You grimaced. You remembered the ungodly long graduation ceremony you’d had to sit through with your parents, all while wearing the most itchy velvet dress and tights. At the time, Taehyung had seemed like such a grown up. It was no surprise that you’d seen him as the shining Polaris to follow as you navigated through life. 

“It doesn’t feel like it was that long ago,” you said, leaning your chin upon your hand. “Weird. I can’t believe you and Tae are so…”

“Old?” Mark finished for you, one brow lifted. 

You bit back a smile, shaking your head. “I’d never say that…” 

“It’s alright, you can say it. Every morning, I wake up and a new muscle is sore. They say your health starts declining when you’re 26, so you’re living on borrowed time.” 

“Hey, I still have a few years then. Besides, you look pretty healthy to me. I mean…” Without realizing it, your eyes glanced down at his arms, the firm muscles and veins on clear display. 

Maybe it was weird, ogling your brother’s best friend, when he probably saw you as his little sister. But you couldn’t help it… he’d really grown into adulthood. His face was a mixture of sharp features and round, doe eyes and full lips. It was only your body’s natural response.

“Thanks,” he replied and you noticed the tips of his ears flushing red. “Alright, are you ready to get out of here?” 

You were grateful for the change in subject. You nodded, and with only a little shame didn’t even bother trying to pay for the meal. Funds were extra low now after that tattoo, and you knew there was no way Mark would even allow you to pay a dime.

Mark led you out of the pizza shop and into his car, where your natural flow of conversation continued. You learned that Mark and Dahyun had been at the tattoo shop for almost five years now, and Mark was essentially the head artist. He had worked hard to get where he was, starting as an apprentice and moving up the ladder.

It seemed as if he wasn’t the most social employee, though. He was friendly with Dahyun and the guys, but he didn’t talk about them much besides when referring to work. 

As Mark pulled up to the address of the hostel you were staying in, you drew in a deep breath as you prepared yourself for another night of thumping bass and blasting machine guns. 

“Thank you for tonight, Mark. I really appreciate it. And… the tattoo, obviously. I love it,” you told him, gathering up your purse as you reached for the door handle. 

“This is where you’re staying?” He asked, eyebrows raised. 

It wasn’t the prettiest building, no. It was sort of falling apart, but it was all cosmetic issues on the exterior. Inside, it was… acceptable. No air conditioning and the blankets sort of smelled, but it would do for now. 

“Yeah,” you replied, hand hesitating on the handle. “It’s not so bad. The owner is kind of creepy, and my roommate sucks but it’s a bed. I don’t need much.” 

Mark was looking at you as if he didn’t believe a word you said. You saw his jaw working as he stared at the building, then averted his eyes back to you. Slowly, he shook his head. 

“You’re not staying there. Just… why don’t you come stay with me? I have a free second bedroom.” 

You shook your head. “No, no. Mark, seriously. I’m fine. It’s really okay, it’s just a place to sleep,” you said, repeating the mantra you’d been repeating to yourself each day before entering the hostel. Honest to god, it sucked. But you weren’t about to mooch off of someone else - you were determined to be on your own and that meant you wouldn’t take any favors. 

“Seriously, Y/N,” he started, his voice turning gravely serious. “It might be a place to sleep, but I can see the termites from here. Come stay with me.” 

“Mark,” you said, voice equally serious. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about me. I’ll text you if I have any questions about the tattoo, okay?”

You reached for the door handle once more and this time, Mark just watched as you climbed out of the car, turning just before you shut the door. 

“Thank you again. I mean it,” you told him, forcing a smile that you hoped looked natural. 

Mark’s face was a mixture of emotions that you couldn’t quite place. He was still worried about you, but for now at least, he’d given up. He didn’t look pleased with you, either. His knuckles were white where they held the steering wheel. 

He muttered a ‘you’re welcome’ before you shut the door. 

Turning towards the hostel, you took a deep breath and steeled yourself for another night in hell. 

-- -- -- -- --

You woke up, as usual, with sweat dripping down your neck and a kink in your lower back. You groaned, twisting your upper body in an effort to stretch as much as you could in the tiny bunk. It was a shit hole, you could at least accept that now. 

The owner of the hostel had a no-closed-doors rule, which honestly, you felt was a little bit suspicious considering the fact that the bathrooms were also co-ed. But things were different in the city, you figured. Maybe privacy wasn’t such a big deal. 

There were people talking loudly in the hallway, an American couple having an argument that apparently, couldn’t have been held outside or maybe a few hours later. You had to work tonight, and you’d been hoping to get eight hours of sleep for once. 

Rubbing your eyes, you sat up, your head just shy of smacking into the wooden frame of the bed above you. You unplugged your phone, finding two texts from Taehyung, one from your boss, and six from Mark. You opened your brother’s first.

Taehyung [07:04am]: Y/N, it’s been a month already. Stop being a brat and go home. You’ve made your point. Taehyung [07:24am]: At least tell me where you are, please.

You sighed and ran your hand over your face, your eyes falling shut as you tried to push his words out of your mind. He didn’t get it - of course he didn’t. He’d spent his whole life as the star of the family, getting anything and everything he desired. Any dreams he had, he was encouraged to follow them, no matter how crazy they were. Why couldn’t that same kindness extend to you? 

As you always did, you deleted his messages, but not without the usual tinge of guilt. 

You opened your boss’ message next, which was just a photo of your next schedule. A ridiculous amount of hours, but at least you could make up for the money you’d blown on your tattoo. 

Next, you opened Mark’s texts. 

Mark [12:33am]: Y/N, I was serious. That place is a dump and you shouldn’t be staying there Mark [12:35am]: Just come stay with me Mark [12:40am]: Even just for a little while, a couple of weeks Mark [02:03am]: Seriously Mark [02:05am]: I can’t sleep because I’m imagining you being eaten alive by termites Mark [08:03am]: I’m outside. Call me when you wake up

You furrowed your brows, eyes flicking up to the current time. 8:07. He’d only texted you a few minutes ago, then. Hearing your roommate peacefully snoring above you, you slid out of the bed and rushed through the doorway, dodging the couple still going at it in the hallway. 

Once you were in the common area, you called Mark. He picked up right away. 

“Mark, why are you outside?” you asked before he even had a chance to say hello. You couldn’t quite hide the irritation in your voice.

You heard him sigh on the other end. “Are you really asking me that?” 

“I told you, I’m fine.”

You felt a breeze and turned to the front desk, where the owner was standing, his eyes shamelessly roaming your frame. He had a fan pointing directly at you, causing goosebumps to form on your arms and legs. Usually, you slept in more than just a tank top and shorts, but you hadn’t been able to deal with the heat last night. 

“I’m not leaving until you come with me,” Mark said. 

Turning away from the owner, you walked over to the front window, one finger sliding the curtain to the side so that you could peek out. There he was, leaning against his car while he stared up at the building you were in. He looked pissed, which further annoyed you. Why did he care so much?

“I said no,” you told him, your voice as firm as you could make it. Mark rolled his eyes, a subtle smirk to the side of his lips.

“And I’m not accepting no as an answer. Just get your shit and let’s go.” 

You huffed in annoyance, letting the curtain fall closed once more. “Go home, Mark. You’re not my brother.” 

Mark laughed bitterly on the other end. “You’re right, I’m not. Do you want me to call him? ‘Cause I will.”

“No!” you replied quickly, squeezing your eyes shut. “Don’t call him. Please.” 

You were met with silence on the other end for a long moment before Mark replied. “Either you come with me, or I call your brother and tell him you’re staying in an infested hole in the ground. It’s up to you.”

Taking in a shaky breath, you opened your eyes, running your fingers through your hair. You didn’t get why he cared so much, or why he couldn’t just leave you alone and go on with his life. “Fine. Give me twenty minutes.” 

“Ten,” Mark said. “I’m hungry and I don’t feel like waiting that long.”

You rolled your eyes, not granting him a response before you disconnected the call. 

Needless to say, you took your sweet time as you gathered all of your things, tossing them into your duffel bag without any sense of organization. You weren’t quiet, either, figuring it was only fair if your roommate lost a few winks of sleep after all she’d put you through. 

By the time you were walking out the front door to the car, Mark’s lips were set into a deep frown, eyebrows creased as he watched you. 

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re going to get wrinkles,” you told him, tossing your bag into the already opened trunk. “In fact, you probably already have some, old man.”

“The hell are you wearing?” Mark asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You looked down at your clothes. You hadn’t taken the time to change out of your pajamas, simply because you were worried Mark would storm in if you took too long. 

“It was hot last night,” you tried, tugging the hem of your tank top down. Mark scoffed and walked around to the driver’s side of the car, muttering something to himself that you couldn’t catch. 

Once you slid into the passenger’s seat, Mark handed you an iced coffee. It was only slightly melted, and you had to admit, it was just what you needed.

“How did you know I’d come with you?” you asked, taking a sip while Mark turned the key in the ignition. 

“What?” he asked, barely paying attention to you as he pulled out onto the street. 

“You got two coffees. What if I said no?”

Mark glanced over at you, his lips pulled into a cocky smirk. “It wasn’t an option. If you said no, I was going to walk in there and make a scene until you came with me.” 

It was your turn to cross your arms over your chest as you leaned back against the seat. You wanted to ask him why it mattered to him where you were staying, but at the end of the day you knew why he cared. Your mom had taken him under her wing when he was a kid, even if you were too young to remember it. 

Your family had fed and clothed him when his parents were too drugged out to remember they had a child to take care of. In a way, you figured, Mark felt a duty to repay the favor somehow. Or maybe he was just a controlling asshole - you couldn’t be sure. 

“I’m not a kid,” you said under your breath, leaning your head against the cold glass of the window.

Mark didn’t respond, and you had to admit you were grateful. You didn’t need one more person telling you you were too young to know what you wanted, too inexperienced to make your own decisions. That was how you’d gotten into this situation in the first place. 

You finished your coffee by the time Mark pulled up to his apartment building. Compared to the hostel you’d just left, it was practically a five-star hotel. Nothing fancy, but from here you could tell all four exterior walls were in good shape and even that was an upgrade. 

You got out of the car, grabbing your bag from the back seat. Just as you went to follow Mark into the building, he stopped in front of you and turned around. 

“Look, I’m sorry if I was kind of an asshole. I just,” he paused to chew at his lip, scratching the back of his head. “I felt like I had a responsibility. To your family, your parents…”

Mark trailed off and you couldn’t help the guilt you felt in your stomach. You were still a child when Mark was going through the worst of it, but you’d heard enough from eavesdropping on your parents’ conversations to know they quite literally saved his life. 

You swallowed, wanting to reach out, but you resisted. At the end of the day, you hardly knew him, despite the connection you felt. 

“It’s okay. I appreciate that you care… I guess I was just determined to do this on my own. Without anybody’s help,” you admitted. 

Mark lifted his eyes to yours. “Sometimes you need to let people help.”

Like I did. You heard it, unspoken, in his words. Maybe you could have done it on your own, but it would be a hell of a lot easier if you accepted a helping hand from Mark. 

“Fine,” you breathed. “But only for a few weeks. And I’m gonna cook and clean for you to earn my keep.”

Mark laughed as you brushed past him, shaking his head at you. “You don’t have to ask me twice. How about you start with breakfast? I’m still hungry, you know.” 

[sukirichi]

sukirichi’s 2.4k milestone event

weee another milestone and nooo i couldn’t wait for 2.5k because i’m so excited and happy, thank you so much! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ including HAIKYUU this time around yeeeee! also i don’t have a restaurant aesthetic anymore, just kind of goofing around now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN. 

before you request...

please read about my writings first! it will include the stuff i write and don’t write about. i’m more flexible in nsfw works, so if you really want to try for a kink, just send me in and if the idea is up to my liking, we’ll see how it goes! 

please be patient and nice! if i don’t like the tone of your request or if you’re ‘demanding’ me, aka, “hey, write this for me, this concept...” your ask will immediately be deleted!

no requesting of the same idea to other writers please!

please keep in mind i don’t do too much canon-heavy plots, aka really specific canon events and how they lead up to one another. i don’t read the manga for both jjk and haikyuu ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ

I do not do headcanons anymore. I’m not good at them LMAO.

i feel a lot more laid back in my writings now, so i’ll only be taking requests that i want to write for! the accepted requests will be listed down below as i organize them

you may refer to my first milestone event if you want more ideas for AU requests! you no longer need to include the numbers/spices/ingredients format used in that. just send whatever idea you want ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. whichever idea i love the MOST will be turned into a series just because I want to try new things hehe!

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei, miya twins, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, tetsuro kuroo

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge, okkotsu yuuta

: kenma kozume

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin, ryoumen sukuna, gojo satoru

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji

accepted requests: (only accepting the ones that interest me for now!)

favorites marked as ⭐

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: hello love!! i know it LITERALLY just came out but would you consider a pt 2 or a drabble for sweet lies? where megumi either catches her and sukuna or she genuinely starts moving on uasdfghj i'm convinced that megumi heard her fucking sukuna in the bathroom <3 anyways pls feel free to ignore me too

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ma’am , i beg of u ,,, spare husband! sukuna x wife! reader drabble. I just read your arranged marriage AU and lordddd i’m obsessed. How long did it take for him to take her virginity 😳? i’m so curious as to how that went down read here: black magic [02]

⭐⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA:  Yooooo how about Rockstar Sukuna seducing his manager ehehehehe~ 

⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ok but... pirate captain Sukuna 👀👀👀 I’m havin some Thots ngl ����🤤 I can’t decide whether reader should be the first mate and they’re a kickass Power Couple 💪😎or if she should be a stowaway who gets found out and has to pay for her passage with her body 😩😉

OKKOTSU YUTA: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi saw that your request are open and congrats for the 2.4k !! 🎊 if possible can i please request yuuta having a girlfriend that's his childhood friend? (So like instead of rika it's y/n and she doesn't die) that loves to dote on him cause that boy needs some love. Thank you!! <3 | kiss me more

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: Toge's S/O being so sad that even when he says "smile" it doesn't work( also saw that in TikTok)

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi! Congrats on 2.4k!!🤩 For the event, may I request an au where reader is Yuuta's sister? Can be gn/fem reader anything is fine. And they fall in love with Toge? Fluff fluff fluff please🥺Maybe they meet one day when she went to visit the school? Or she's a new sorcerer. Aahhhh I can't think of anything so I'll leave it up to your wonderful mind😌 Thank you! And again congrats! | crush

INUMAKI TOGE: SUKI OMG SIREN AU WITH TOGE AND DEAF READERHis voice hypnotizes all who hear it but she’s unaffected and he’s shook lmao 😂 She teaches him human sign language so they can communicate 🥺 maybe when he realizes he likes her he brings her seashells and other shiny things from the sea floor and it’s so cute 🥰 just 🥺🥺 siren Toge 🥺🥺🥺 (DEBATING)

GOJO SATORU: Hello dear Suki! 🤗 congrats on your more than deserved milestone 👏🏼🥳 I know it’s not the restaurant aesthetic anymore but still, thank you for being a Michelin-star chef spoiling the fandom with your food 🤤👀 I’d love to request the following: ingredient 66 with sugar 8 & 9 and Gojou as cherry on top 🥰 some heavy angst with a happy / smutty ending. additional 🍪 for inspiration - „Best friends don’t look at each other the way you look at her. You never know what will happen, tomorrow might be too late“. Have a lovely day dear 💕

GOJO SATORU: Congrats on 2.4K!!!! May I please request a fic where the reader has like. Zero reaction to Gojo? And he’s kinda shook bc people either adore him or hate him, but here’s reader acting like he’s just a normal dude. And he starts falling for her bc he’s never experienced that before

⭐ GOJO SATORU: a reader that likes Gojo but immediately says N O P E bc they clock that he’s at risk of breaking their heart so they just try to avoid getting close to him despite being a teacher stuck with him a lot of the time. And Gojo is just like ??? But I like you??? Why are you always avoiding me? “I’m tired of you acting like I can’t commit to something. Committing to you is easy.”

⭐ GOJO SATORU: ♡Soft nsfw scenario with s/o and gojo while outside is snowing read here: cold

⭐ GOJO SATORU: Ohoho~ another milestone! Congrats~Can I get Vampire!Satoru x Monster Hunter!Reader where he “proves” to her that all of his victims came willingly(I think from the AU choice you’ll know exactly who I am lol 😉)

⭐ GOJO SATORU: hello! first and foremost, congratulations on reaching 2.4k! i love your writing and its just oh my goodness <3 your stories made my heart squeezed! second of all, i'd like to propose a request for a story. fluff/angst (up to you! your way of writing is just superb) mixed with nsfw gojo satoru. a modern business tycoon au where he just lost his wife and is overprotective of his 1 year old toddler. you're his new staff in the office and is treated badly bcs you know, new staff. one day, you stumbled upon your boss and his baby in a shop, who wont stop crying and he took an interest in you when you managed to calm his kid down. he hired you as his babysitter + made you move into his estate. from there, your life changed! also, thank you for accompanying my days with your stories, it's marvelous! 💕

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: okay i thought you might like this idea for the event (or maybe not lol) - naoya coming home to his beloved little housewife and feels like giving her a treat for being such a good girl.,,.,, read: man's gonna re-arrange your guts and have some soft moments with you after (not that he would ever admit that shsghshsj) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | good girl

NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Stage magician Naoya and his cute little assistant, where every other trick works to undress or strategically rip her outfit so he can show off his little bunny to the crowd before fucking her brainless backstage

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE:  listen ,,,,, ur naoya hate fic goes crazy stupid may i add something. naoya being overprotective like reader is so pretty and many of the clan men look at them a lottttt and naoya out of nowhere will kiss you in front of them or will grab them in front the maids and workers. then reader becomes mad and they get into an argument and then hate fuck :D lmaoo  (THIS REQUEST PLEASEEEE SEND ME TO HEAVEN) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Omg Suki! Congrats on the 2.4k! So uhmm I decided to take a break from the Kita/Naoya twin au angst 👉👈 idk if you are still accepting requests but HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED OR HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SUGAR DADDY NAOYA????? 🥺 -🌸

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: Megumi being insecure about his eyes because they are a very light green colour( like in manga) so he wears blue contacts( I saw that on TikTok and... big brain energy)

⭐ FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: SUKI, HI! First of all, congrats on 2.4K you absolutely deserve every single milestone coming your way 💞💞If it’s not too much to ask may I request a one-shot with megumi where he’s jealous that his fem!crush is spending more time with Itadori and sees how she enjoys his company a lot but it’s purely platonic? Reader likes megumi too and they both need that push in the right direction?Thanks so much if you decide to write this 🥺💖 I seriously love your writing and your big brain sm

CHOSO: Could you write something with Choso and the reader that has a toxic mother (if that actually exists.  She controls everything the reader does, and plays with her mind/ feelings making her feel like she's the bad one)?But after a fight with the mom, the reader has enough and just leaves deciding they will finally do what they want, ending up at a tattoo shop, where Choso is the tattoo artist.Ngl, i'd like this to be nsfw because i am thirsting for this man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Don't really have kink preferences but if you could include size and breeding kink then i'd be hella thankful ☺

GETOU SUGURU: Yo how about a Victorian AU with Gentleman Thief!Getou and Debutante!Reader nsfw 👀👀 maybe she hears something in the dark and goes to investigate and gets pressed to the wall with a knife at her throat 👀🥵

FUSHIGURO TOJI: can we get a part two of the "lessons learned" toji fic 👉🏽👈🏽 maybe him fucking and overstimulating her so hard she cries and begs for mercy but no mercy will be given. maybe he uses the same handcuffs she used for him on her 🥰 maybe some manhandling cause im a hoe for letting a man throw me around

⭐ KAGEYAMA TOBIO (fckin finally): kageyama tobio x reader fic for mutual virginity loss? maybe they just haven’t had time with him being a fancy schmancy volleyball player, maybe there’s just nerves, i don’t know! i’ll leave it up to u babe <3

⭐ SUNA RINTARO: hi!! congrats on the 2.4k HEHE just wanted to request a suna and tattoo/flower shop au? idk just the thought of tattooed suna is like. mm yes

⭐ SUNA RINTARO/AKAASHI KEIJI: hi suki!! i’m so excited for your event! so i rarely ever see someone else who loves both akaashi and suna so i was wondering if you could write something for them! maybe apocalypse au?? or roommate au?? i was thinking y/n could have a relationship/be fuck buddies with one of them and some smutty exhibitionism happens with the other watching, and then some pining that ends in a threesome if you write those! if not, then just a smutty n filthy little love triangle that you can choose an ending for lol (a happy one would be nice bc my heart can only handle so much angst, but really it’s up to you and what inspires you!!) tysm for doing this event and always working so hard <3

⭐ OIKAWA TOORU: hi i love your writing!! can i please request work au (boss oikawa x secretary fem reader?) with degradation and him fucking your in the window 😭💗💗

[mostlysignssomeportents]

20 years a blogger

It's been twenty years, to the day, since I published my first blog-post.

I'm a blogger.

Blogging - publicly breaking down the things that seem significant, then synthesizing them in longer pieces - is the defining activity of my days.

https://boingboing.net/2001/01/13/hey-mark-made-me-a.html

Over the years, I've been lauded, threatened, sued (more than once). I've met many people who read my work and have made connections with many more whose work  I wrote about. Combing through my old posts every morning is a journey through my intellectual development.

It's been almost exactly a year I left Boing Boing, after 19 years. It wasn't planned, and it wasn't fun, but it was definitely time. I still own a chunk of the business and wish them well. But after 19 years, it was time for a change.

A few weeks after I quit Boing Boing, I started a solo project. It's called Pluralistic: it's a blog that is published simultaneously on Twitter, Mastodon, Tumblr, a newsletter and the web. It's got no tracking or ads. Here's the very first edition:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/02/19/pluralist-19-feb-2020/

I don't often do "process posts" but this merits it. Here's how I built Pluralistic and here's how it works today, after nearly a year.

I get up at 5AM and make coffee. Then I sit down on the sofa and open a huge tab-group, and scroll through my RSS feeds using Newsblur.

I spend the next 1-2 hours winnowing through all the stuff that seems important. I have a chronic pain problem and I really shouldn't sit on the sofa for more than 10 minutes, so I use a timer and get up every 10 minutes and do one minute of physio.

After a couple hours, I'm left with 3-4 tabs that I want to write articles about that day. When I started writing Pluralistic, I had a text file on my desktop with some blank HTML I'd tinkered with to generate a layout; now I have an XML file (more on that later).

First I go through these tabs and think up metadata tags I want to use for each; I type these into the template using my text-editor (gedit), like this:

   <xtags>

process, blogging, pluralistic, recursion, navel-gazing

   </xtags>

Each post has its own little template. It needs an anchor tag (for this post, that's "hfbd"), a title ("20 years a blogger") and a slug ("Reflections on a lifetime of reflecting"). I fill these in for each post.

Then I come up with a graphic for each post: I've got a giant folder of public domain clip-art, and I'm good at using all the search tools for open-licensed art: the Library of Congress, Wikimedia, Creative Commons, Flickr Commons, and, ofc, Google Image Search.

I am neither an artist nor a shooper, but I've been editing clip art since I created pixel-art versions of the Frankie Goes to Hollywood glyphs using Bannermaker for the Apple //c in 1985 and printed them out on enough fan-fold paper to form a border around my bedroom.

As I create the graphics, I pre-compose Creative Commons attribution strings to go in the post; there's two versions, one for the blog/newsletter and one for Mastodon/Twitter/Tumblr. I compose these manually.

Here's a recent one:

Blog/Newsletter:

(<i>Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:QAnon_in_red_shirt_(48555421111).jpg">Marc Nozell</a>, <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en">CC BY</a>, modified</i>)

Twitter/Masto/Tumblr:

Image: Marc Nozell (modified)

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:QAnon_in_red_shirt_(48555421111).jpg

CC BY

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

This is purely manual work, but I've been composing these CC attribution strings since CC launched in 2003, and they're just muscle-memory now. Reflex.

These attribution strings, as well as anything else I'll need to go from Twitter to the web (for example, the names of people whose Twitter handles I use in posts, or images I drop in, go into the text file). Here's how the post looks at this point in the composition.

<hr>

<a name="hfbd"></a>

<img src="https://craphound.com/images/20yrs.jpg">

<h1>20 years a blogger</h1><xtagline>Reflections on a lifetime of reflecting.</xtagline>

<img src="https://craphound.com/images/frnklogo.jpg">

See that <img> tag in there for frnklogo.jpg? I snuck that in while I was composing this in Twitter. When I locate an image on the web I want to use in a post, I save it to a dir on my desktop that syncs every 60 seconds to the /images/ dir on my webserver.

As I save it, I copy the filename to my clipboard, flip over to gedit, and type in the <img> tag, pasting the filename. I've typed <img src="https://craphound.com/images/ CTRL-V"> tens of thousands of times - muscle memory.

Once the thread is complete, I copy each tweet back into gedit, tabbing back and forth, replacing Twitter handles and hashtags with non-Twitter versions, changing the ALL CAPS EMPHASIS to the extra-character-consuming *asterisk-bracketed emphasis*.

My composition is greatly aided both 20 years' worth of mnemonic slurry of semi-remembered posts and the ability to search memex.craphound.com (the site where I've mirrored all my Boing Boing posts) easily.

A huge, searchable database of decades of thoughts really simplifies the process of synthesis.

Next I port the posts to other media. I copy the headline and paste it into a new Tumblr compose tab, then import the image and tag the post "pluralistic."

Then I paste the text of the post into Tumblr and manually select, cut, and re-paste every URL in the post (because Tumblr's automatic URL-to-clickable-link tool's been broken for 10+ months).

Next I past the whole post into a Mastodon compose field. Working by trial and error, I cut it down to <500 characters, breaking at a para-break and putting the rest on my clipboard. I post, reply, and add the next item in the thread until it's all done.

*Then* I hit publish on my Twitter thread. Composing in Twitter is the most unforgiving medium I've ever worked in. You have to keep each stanza below 280 chars. You can't save a thread as a draft, so as you edit it, you have to pray your browser doesn't crash.

And once you hit publish, you can't edit it. Forever. So you want to publish Twitter threads LAST, because the process of mirroring them to Tumblr and Mastodon reveals typos and mistakes (but there's no way to save the thread while you work!).

Now I create a draft Wordpress post on pluralistic.net, and create a custom slug for the page (today's is "two-decades"). Saving the draft generates the URL for the page, which I add to the XML file.

Once all the day's posts are done, I make sure to credit all my sources in another part of that master XML file, and then I flip to the command line and run a bunch of python scripts that do MAGIC: formatting the master file as a newsletter, a blog post, and a master thread.

Those python scripts saved my ASS. For the first two months of Pluralistic, i did all the reformatting by hand. It was a lot of search-replace (I used a checklist) and I ALWAYS screwed it up and had to debug, sometimes taking hours.

Then, out of the blue, a reader - Loren Kohnfelder - wrote to me to point out bugs in the site's RSS. He offered to help with text automation and we embarked on a month of intensive back-and-forth as he wrote a custom suite for me.

Those programs take my XML file and spit out all the files I need to publish my site, newsletter and master thread (which I pin to my profile). They've saved me more time than I can say. I probably couldn't kept this up without Loren's generous help (thank you, Loren!).

I open up the output from the scripts in gedit. I paste the blog post into the Wordpress draft and copy-paste the metadata tags into WP's "tags" field. I preview the post, tweak as necessary, and publish.

(And now I write this, I realize I forgot to mention that while I'm doing the graphics, I also create a square header image that makes a grid-collage out of the day's post images, using the Gimp's "alignment" tool)

(because I'm composing this in Twitter, it would be a LOT of work to insert that information further up in the post, where it would make sense to have it - see what I mean about an unforgiving medium?)

(While I'm on the subject: putting the "add tweet to thread" and "publish the whole thread" buttons next to each other is a cruel joke that has caused me to repeatedly publish before I was done, and deleting a thread after you publish it is a nightmare)

Now I paste the newsletter file into a new mail message, address it to my Mailman server, and create a custom subject for the day, send it, open the Mailman admin interface in a browser, and approve the message.

Now it's time to create that anthology post you can see pinned to my Mastodon and Twitter accounts. Loren's script uses a template to produce all the tweets for the day, but it's not easy to get that pre-written thread into Twitter and Mastodon.

Part of the problem is that each day's Twitter master thread has a tweet with a link to the day's Mastodon master thread ("Are you trying to wean yourself off Big Tech? Follow these threads on the #fediverse at @pluralistic@mamot.fr. Here's today's edition: LINK").

So the first order of business is to create the Mastodon thread, pin it, copy the link to it, and paste it into the template for the Twitter thread, then create and pin the Twitter thread.

Now it's time to get ready for tomorrow. I open up the master XML template file and overwrite my daily working file with its contents. I edit the file's header with tomorrow's date, trim away any "Upcoming appearances" that have gone by, etc.

Then I compose tomorrow's retrospective links. I open tabs for this day a year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, and (now) 20 years ago:

http://memex.craphound.com/2020/01/14

http://memex.craphound.com/2016/01/14

http://memex.craphound.com/2011/01/14

http://memex.craphound.com/2006/01/14

http://memex.craphound.com/2001/01/14

I go through each day, and open anything I want to republish in its own tab, then open the OP link in the next tab (finding it in the @internetarchive if necessary). Then I copy my original headline and the link to the article into tomorrow's XML file, like so:

#10yrsago Disney World’s awful Tiki Room catches fire <a href="https://thedisneyblog.com/2011/01/12/fire-reported-at-magic-kingdom-tiki-room/">https://thedisneyblog.com/2011/01/12/fire-reported-at-magic-kingdom-tiki-room/</a>

And NOW my day is done.

So, why do I do all this?

First and foremost, I do it for ME. The memex I've created by thinking about and then describing every interesting thing I've encountered is hugely important for how I understand the world. It's the raw material of every novel, article, story and speech I write.

And I do it for the causes I believe in. There's stuff in this world I want to change for the better. Explaining what I think is wrong, and how it can be improved, is the best way I know for nudging it in a direction I want to see it move.

The more people I reach, the more it moves.

When I left Boing Boing, I lost access to a freestanding way of communicating. Though I had popular Twitter and Tumblr accounts, they are at the mercy of giant companies with itchy banhammers and arbitrary moderation policies.

I'd long been a fan of the POSSE - Post Own Site, Share Everywhere - ethic, the idea that your work lives on platforms you control, but that it travels to meet your readers wherever they are.

Pluralistic posts start out as Twitter threads because that's the most constrained medium I work in, but their permalinks (each with multiple hidden messages in their slugs) are anchored to a server I control.

When my threads get popular, I make a point of appending the pluralistic.net permalink to them.

When I started blogging, 20 years ago, blogger.com had few amenities. None of the familiar utilities of today's media came with the package.

Back then, I'd manually create my headlines with <h2> tags. I'd manually create discussion links for each post on Quicktopic. I'd manually paste each post into a Yahoo Groups email. All the guff I do today to publish Pluralistic is, in some way, nothing new.

20 years in, blogging is still a curious mix of both technical, literary and graphic bodgery, with each day's work demanding the kind of technical minutuae we were told would disappear with WYSIWYG desktop publishing.

I grew up in the back-rooms of print shops where my dad and his friends published radical newspapers, laying out editions with a razor-blade and rubber cement on a light table. Today, I spend hours slicing up ASCII with a cursor.

I go through my old posts every day. I know that much - most? - of them are not for the ages. But some of them are good. Some, I think, are great. They define who I am. They're my outboard brain.