#so i also have some succession and night at the museum character

[cchipollo]

i absolutely LOVE your tomodachi miis. they're beautiful. i've seen so many people couple up their male miis, how are you guys doing it?? i want my yaoi miis too

you gotta make some of the mii female. i have a mod that uses they/them pronouns for every mii and just groups miis into A or B (originally being male and female). it’s not really a proper fix and maybe if i looked a little deeper i could find the true gay tomodachi life mod but it’s the best fix i could find.

[brynn-lear]

Note: these are all yandere characters I had back in 2022. I'm describing them very vaguely. I can't bring myself to spoil even minute details I find intruiging even though it's unlikely I'll make this webtoon-isekai-otome game concept come to life. Shoutout to mochi and harmony. I would've forgotten these men exist if it weren't for them lol

Yan!Butler: People kept mistaking your deceased brother's butler as a nobleman, especially with how you both appear to be best friends rather than master-servant. His butler is one of your greatest allies and critic; not once has he missed his chance to tease you in such “polite” yet convoluted ways. But you at least know his sharp tongue comes from a place of affection, and not from disdain as he would with other nobility. Your older brother took him under the family's care when his small village was brutally extinguished by unknown assailants. That butler thinks all other nobles deserve gruesome ends. There's not a single day where he does not feel paranoid. So when you feel as though the pavement you passed by in your private gardens had splotches of red… you turn a blind eye. You trust your brother and his allies. As long as you ignore that what he does is far beyond ensuring your brother's safety, you can go on sleeping peacefully at night.

Yan!Eccentric Immortal: You honestly thought it was so weird for a wandering pink-haired tourist to wear red shades and a short-sleeved shirt with tons of hibiscus printed on it, but whatever floats his boat. At least, that's what you thought at first before you struck a conversation with him out of pure boredom. No matter how… “modern” he looks, he was dejected enough at the time to confess that he came to see how his hometown looks— only to discover it is practically unrecognizable. He kept pointing to business shops, claiming some used to be parks, a small forest, his favorite bookstore, and a place his old buddy used to have a successful shoe factory on. And then it hit you. This man you're with… is one of your ancestor's mayor turned revolutionary best friend who struck a contract with the devil. There's one small problem... You're involved in said contract.

("Oh, so he's immortal, huh… no wonder he was burying his face in his mushroom hat when we were walking around in the museum. On one hand, impressive that he was the first man ever photographed, but he's also the first photobomber ever. He was just cleaning his shoes and got in the way…")

[More descriptions utc]

Yan!Crown Prince: He is your childhood friend crown prince, who was once a quiet and lonesome kid. You belonged to the very few children who properly befriended him, but in each playtime, he always clung to you tightly. The adult nobles in your life had always made it a point to remind you to be wary of his lineage. “The royal bloodline’s first love is their last— and such obsession reigns supreme.” There is also a legend of how the first king confessed to his tactician after the war. However, he dismembered & hid her limbs when he faced rejection. The royal family has been plagued with unrequited love and unhappy marriages since then, yet you don’t believe him capable of perverse and violent thoughts. He harbors a hopeless puppy-like “one-sided” affection on another childhood friend of yours (THE main female lead) but he takes it “like a champ”, you're sure of it!!! Plus, the prince has grown so mature and independent, always asking for your counsel on politics more than personal affairs. You haven't met a man who enjoyed his duties as much as he does. If anything, he has distanced himself from you… Right?

Yan!Doctor: As a child from a loving noble home, you had remained firm in your stance on committing acts of kindness. When an injured kid your age was starving outside your estate, you did not hesitate to order your brother's butler to fetch food and drinks. Since he was nameless and you weren't one to gloss over a book of baby names— you gave him one that sounds like a dog’s. Years later, you've fallen gravely ill. No physician across the continent could help you despite your philanthropist reputation. But there was one who had done the impossible. The doctor cured you in under a month, and when you tried to cover his services, he said everything was paid with “three glasses of milk and a box of biscuits.” Honestly, you should've remembered who he was sooner, considering how strange his name was. Despite such a grand revelation that he apparently owes you his life, there's unbridled hunger beyond his “kind” eyes. Something lonely and unhinged.

Yan!Ex-Hitman/Politician: There was a boy you've always seen each time you went to church. You see him every week that you both watched each other grow up. Apparently he came from a noble bloodline just like you, but despite being the eldest, his parents greatly favored his younger sibling. Deciding he had no talent to best him, the boy went to the monastery to practice the word of God instead. You always thought he was an ambitious and good-hearted person— especially since it's not exactly common for someone in their late twenties to aspire for the position of prime minister and appear so incredibly wholesome. On your quest to find someone to help you solve the mystery behind your older brother's death— you found out that the kind mint-eyed man who often carved wooden toys and sewed plushies for the orphans was the notorious hitman who killed plenty of corrupt nobles in his prime. Could he be behind your brother's death…?

[boredzillenial]

Kat und Maus

A spy has gone slightly rogue on her mission, low and behold her team bites off more than she can chew.

Themes: f!main character, 3rd person perspective, spy fic, flirting, SFW (wait wtf this never happens)

A.N: trying something a bit different with this one. Not feeling super confident in my writing atm so lemme know what y’all think ~

“I’m in the compound” She whispers into the mic hidden in her bracelet.

“Remember, The nephew is the target, agent. It’s too dangerous to go after V directly.” Her boss’s voice clips in her ear.

“But -“

“Too. Dangerous.” The tone in his voice left no room for interpretation.

She rolls her eyes, continuing her quick strides up the mansion stairs. “Waste of my time and yours.” Her words come out in a puff of chilly night air. “Good evening - The party is this way yes?” Her well rehearsed German accent trills up to the sentry waiting by the front door. “I still don’t understand why he insists on his guests parking their own damn cars.” She makes a point to huff and roll her eyes as she tosses her jacket in his face.

In a quick succession of movements she slams her heel on his foot, muffles his scream with the thick fabric, and twists him around till her arm snakes around his neck. “Sleep tight…” She coos as his body goes limp.

She drags him into the nearby bushes and rewraps her coat around her bare shoulders. “Told you the jacket trick works” She whispers a little smugly into the receiver on her wrist.

“That should be the last armed guards outside. V doesn’t like guns flashing around his guests - unless he’s doing the flashing.” She trys not to roll her eyes again, oh the egos of men . “Nephew should be on the balcony. Go straight there, secure him and over the edge. The extraction team’s waiting in the water at the base of the cliffs.”

“What is it with the ridiculously wealthy and putting their homes on cliffs.” She whispers, admiring the ornate paintings and museum worthy pieces along the walls and small tables.

“Agent, stay on task.”

“So impersonal. I know you know my name might as well say it.” Her tone clips short to match his.

“Also, what’s with the pseudonym, his name is -“

“Anselm tell that story again!” A mans voice booms from the open doorway just a few feet ahead. A chorus of affirmative chatter rises along with it.

“Oh please, you are embarrassing me. It’s not that entertaining.” Anselm’s raised, singsong German accent rings out like a siren song.

“Agent - stay on-“ Those are the last words she hears before she slips the the earpiece out and down into her brazier.

She rounds the corner slowly, getting the layout of the room and those within. The booming voiced man is standing, drunken smile across his reddened face along with four more strained faces with ingenue smiles across them.

And there, seated at an imperial looking dark wooden desk is her target, Anselm. Seeing him in person struck something different within her. She’d studied the far lensed slightly blur photographs along with his laundry list of a rap sheet- he’s a crime boss, an international thief, a kidnapper, a murder. But the man before her seems, well not all that scary.

Cheers and claps fill the room until Anselm relents “Fine fine - I was down in South America, meeting with some less than friendly constituents when - Why hello there.” He stops as he eyes her leaning in the doorframe “And who might you be my dear.” He stands, never taking his eyes off her.

“Anselm darling I am offended -“ Her accent mirrors his “Have you forgotten our time in Munich already? I know it was years ago and we were both so intoxicated but -“

“Everyone, please leave.” His tone is light despite the unknown expression on his face. Creaking and squeaking fills the space as he makes his way to her.

“But sir -“ The large man begins and quickly halts when Anselm looks his way.

The slight squint of his eyes is all it took, sending everyone else in the room scattering. “Now - yours is a face I would not forget.” He sat slowly on the leather couch, adjusting and patting the empty space beside him. “What is your name madam.”

She rolls her alias with ease “- Do you remember now?” She walks slowly, lengthening her steps to sway her hips. His eyes land perfectly on the motion. “Or perhaps you’d remember, other things about me.” She lowers her voice as she sits beside him.

“I don’t believe -“ The beginning of his question is cut short with the sharp ringing from an old style telephone on his desk “Apologies my dear, duty calls” Once again his voice is light but the slightest moment of concern crossed his features before he stiffly stands.

“No need, I need to powder my nose. Be right back.” She coos over her shoulder. Though she keeps her steps slow with purpose her nerves are alight. She really thought he would be so much more imposing or terrifying given his reputation. But he’s just a man, and the look in his eyes makes something she didn’t care to admit stir low in her belly.

She clicks a little quicker down the back hall and onto the patio, where only silence awaits her. While she glances cautiously around for her original target she digs into her dress.

Already she can hear the soft buzzing of a scream as she retrieves the ear piece from her cleavage and puts it back into place. “-AVE YOU GONE MAD! THERE’S A TEAM HEADED YOUR WAY IN LESS THAN 5 YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE!” He screams.

“I made contact with V, I can take him. The nephew is gone.” She hisses.

“ENOUGH! GET TO THE EXTRACTION POINT - THE SECONDARY TEAM WILL RETRIEVE HIM.”

She sighs, shakes her head and carefully jumps over the railing to shimmy down the lattice. “So not worth it, shit.”

She makes her way down the dark expanse of grass and rocks to the extraction team who also look intensely displeased by her change in plan. “Target acquired, heading to base. Ready by 0600 hours for interrogation.”

“Agent, in light of your insubordination. You will remain awake and interrogate the asset once you return.” His words cut into her bruised ego.

“Sir I haven’t slept since -“

“Does it sound, like I care…” his words struggle past his teeth into her ear.

“No, sir.”

“Then sign off. Stay alert….” She pulls the earpiece out and grips it so tightly she snaps the delicate tool into pieces. As she heads off with the team she readies her mind for interrogating the initial target. Some silver spoon punk who was probably kept around as more of a decoration than an asset. Breaking him should be easy enough, but her thoughts stray back to Anselm, the intensity in his gaze and how sure he carried himself, despite the brace…

0600

She walks groggily down the empty hall, gripping onto a hot cup of coffee. This time dressed in casual civilian clothes of Jeans and a Tee she keeps stashed away for emergencies in her locker.

“Can’t believe he’s making me interview this little punk first thing.” She yawns.

“Alright kid - we can do this the easy way or -“ her words cut short in her throat. The slumped form of Anselm tied to the chair in the center of the room.

“Sir,” She clips into her new ear piece “I think you need to see this…”

The minutes pass like lifetimes until finally her boss rounds the corner. “You’ve got to be fucking -“ he growls, whipping the door open, taking a good look, and closing it softly “kidding me…” his final words come out in an exasperated sigh as he rubs his temples. “And this wasn’t you?” He asks without looking up at her.

“Absolutely not sir, I got outta there before the team hit… Did you want me to still do the interrogation?” Her tone shifts to something softer, not wanting to piss her boss off more than he already is.

He whirls on her, “I’ll take you at your word this wasn’t you… But it’s still on you for not containing the original target when you had the chance. When the higher-ups come down on our asses for catching this fucking shark instead of his stupid little nephew, I’m pointing them in your direction unless you get something usable out of him. Understood?”

She nods once “Any limitations?”

“Keep ‘m alive.” He growls before stalking off, a heavy invisible weight on his shoulders.

She steps calmly back into the interrogation room, closing the door a little harder than necessary. Anselm jolts in his chair, eyes squinting as they settle on her. “You again, dangerous little Maus, where have you whisked me to.” He tisks while taking in his surroundings.

“Sorry to disappoint, we don’t have any better accommodations at present.” She sighs and sits a couple feet away in the singular opposing chair. “So tell me Anselm, you feeling okay?” She puts on a saccharine smile.

“Oh my dear you know the ropes aren’t very comfortable.” He wiggles a bit to test them. Looks like the team had decided on simple restraints on his ankles, torso and wrists. “And you’re american? Such a pity.” He tuts.

She crosses her legs and takes a long sip of her coffee.

Anselm eyes the cup, licking his lips for a moment then meeting her gaze again. “Uncomfortable chair, no refreshments, not even a table to negotiate.”

“Oh well see that’s where you’ve not quite caught up. We aren’t negotiating, this is more of well, let’s call it a knowledge seeking interview.”

“Darling, I think I know what an interrogation room looks like. But why bring me here hmm?” He quirks up a brow “I do say you would’ve gotten whatever you wanted in that slick little number you were wearing in earlier. But, you Americans do love your Blue Jeans…”

“I don’t think my clothes will prevent me from learning what I wanna know.” She takes another long sip, enjoying that little lip lick of his again. “Thirsty?”

Anselm chuckles softly, “Very, would you mind?”

“Oh not at all,” She stands slowly “You help me, I’ll help you. How’s that sound. Little quid pro quo.”

“What do you want to know my dear.” He eyes her as she makes her way to him. That dark gaze grazes over her.

“Well for starters, that mansion of yours.” She queries casually “Why along a cliff?”

“This is what the American Goverment wishes to know?”The lilt in his voice coaxes the faintest smirk to her lips.

“This is what I wish to know. Consider this the quid” she encourages.

“Well, for the view of course.” He shrugs.

“Huh… how boring.” She sighs “but fair is fair.” She takes her coffee cup and brings it to his lips “I’m sure you don’t mind sharing.” In reality, this was a test, just how far she could get away with him. If he would share a drink with her, there may be some trust. Trust leads to answers.

“Not at all,” He murmurs as she tilts the cup, he drinks deep for a moment before she pulls it away. “Thank you my darling, in fact I prefer it. You know how it is after people try to poison you. After the first few you only eat or drink after others have, ahaha.” There it is again, that strange little giggle.

“Can’t say I do, but good to keep in mind.” She shakes her head a moment, setting the coffee cup on the floor beside his chair and getting comfortable in her own. “Now, I’ve got a few questions if you don’t mind.”

“Anything my dear.”

“Tell me about the weapons trade, how’s everything going hmm? I hear the Russians have really been giving you a hard time.” She eyes him while crossing her legs, foot bouncing casually.

“Okay, almost anything.” He coughs, “You understand I cannot discuss such matters with you my dear. Despite your beauty and statuesque figure.”

Is he still flirting? Is he serious? She decides to test it. “Aww Anselm, you’ve disappointed me.” She tuts as she stands, walking past him to a nearby table laid with all sorts of instruments to help loosen one’s tongue. “I thought you’d make this easy for both of us.”

“My darling, nothing with me is easy. You’ll come to enjoy that I hope.” He try’s to turn, unable to get her into his peripheral.

“I’m not one for puzzles, or games,” she comes around to face him, twirling a set of pliers in her hand “And to be brutally honest I’m not the best when it comes to patience.”

He eyes the instrument in her hand for a moment before his gaze roams over her body again. “Now that is truly a use for me. Teaching you patience, it is one of life’s greatest pleasures.” His tone shifts low, sultry.

She decides to lean in, a hand on either arm and her face just inches from his, “Do you think you’re in much of a position to teach me anything right now?” Her tone drops low to meet his.

“My dear, things can change so quickly you know.” His eyes flicker down to her lips, “It would make things so much easier for you to play nice.”

She leans back and barks out a laugh. “You can’t be serious right now. You are in a hidden bunker in for all you know the damn ocean. I pull out pliers and you don’t so much as bat an eye?”

“Don’t let my own handsomeness fool you, you must not know who you are dealing with to think such a simple tool would frighten me.” Anselm is deadly calm as he speaks. Somehow, despite him being the one tied to a chair authority radiates from him. “I do urge you, untie me now and save yourself some trouble later feisty maus.”

She’s about to put her tool to work when the door behind her bursts open. In an instant someone is on her, choking her from behind and lifting her high enough her feet no longer touch the ground. She claws and kicks to no avail as two more men sweep in and quickly release Anselm from his bindings.

“Don’t kill her, I like this one.” His words cut through her choking gasps and for a moment the grip around her throat loosens. “A little lower.”

The arms around her lower till they are face to face again. She’s clinging onto consciousness by a thread, her ears ringing and limbs going limp.

Anselm drags his thumb over her lower, “beautiful feisty maus, rest up. When you wake it will be your turn to help me.” He gives a quick nod and that grip tightens again. The last thing she hears is indistinguishable words in his short tone. The final sensation is the gentle brush of fingers across her cheek as her world fades into darkness.

———————————

Taglist: @melodygatesauthor @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ominoose @romana-after-dark @lunar-ghoulie4art @flowercrownonapegion @howellatme @mooksmouse @ahookedheroespureheart @beezusvreeland @auntiegigi @moonkxight-blog @faretheeoscar @queerponcho @for-a-longlongtime @silvernight-m

[montypng]

meant to send you a message last night but my brain was scrambled and i was too busy crying so i had to wait until now. i just wanted to say thank you so much for the beautiful art you made for deep end :') your enj & r design is so perfect and i love your style! there literally are no words to express how excited i was to see it (not to mention how many times i have scrolled back to look at it again in the last twelve hours. it's not an insignificant amount). i just genuinely love every detail you included, the moments you chose.... everything about it. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the time & energy & care you have given deep end and that you put into your beautiful art :''')

thank you so much for your words, im so so glad you liked my art!!! if it has given you even a fraction of the joy i felt reading each deep end upload, then im happy :] your tags were incredibly kind as well, i took a screenshot so i could reread them...its incredible to think my work could have elicited such a reaction but hey, i have teared up reading deep end so i guess its a favour repaid >_> lengthy reply under the cut bc it became abominably long haha

i dont want to go on too much of a rant here (i will anyways it seems) but i think one of the things that struck me the most about deep end is how obvious the love that you put into writing it is. i know you've mentioned before how much you rewrote it over and over again, and i have to say in the best way possible that i could feel that reading it. every single chapter is written with such direction and clarity of purpose, it was truly a gift to be able to read something crafted with such meticulous attention to detail. i never felt that any line, hint of characterization, or plot detail was ever put there out of coincidence. cosette being a law student, too. the entirety of cosette's character and your emphasis on her agency as a person with a life that does not revolve around her brother. and somehow you kept touching on these weird little details that personally hit me hard? somehow?? grantaire reading hamlet (my favourite shakespeare !) and his opinion abt horatio (of course he likes horatio), the plot irrelevant but wholly appreciated discussion of the ending of the thing, thnks fr th mmrs and dammit janet in quick succession during karaoke, orpheus/eurydice in chapter 17 and the franklin expedition tidbit in 14, the whole art museum part....

some of my favourite lines:

“An animal in a trap will chew off its own leg to escape. You have no idea how much of my own blood I had to swallow to get out of there.” "The meeting had gone forty minutes longer than usual because for every word Enjolras said, Grantaire had to pick the bones clean, had to suck the marrow out." and shortly thereafter, "piano-wire tension", and "Less of a weapon and more of an instrument, for once. Press the key, see how he sings." "He wants to be comforted without being known. He wants to be loved without being understood. He wants to cry on a stranger’s shoulder and never see them again, never have to know their pity." <this one had my eyes wet while i was in a lecture i won't lie

and of course, the opening lines to top all opening lines:

"Enjolras’ father is buried on a Wednesday. The placement of the funeral in the middle of the week feels purposeful. Make this loss your centerfold, his mother seems to say. Build your life around it."

also — the quotes you chose to include in your summaries of each chapter were perfect every time. kudos for that!!!

all that to say: yeah, it was probably inevitable that i would be driven to draw something for deep end (i took screenshots of certain parts to draw later while reading this fic!! i almost never do that but i couldnt help myself!!!). one of those pieces of fiction that drives you to create (and push me out of art block, apparently). thank you again for sharing your work, deep end is truly something special and i cant wait to read the epilogue❤️❤️

(and if you've read all the way to the end of this monster of a reply: yes, you thought right...! i did draw a little mouse on the cover of grantaire's book, hes reading the tale of despereaux :] reading your grantaire is what finally pushed me to make a character playlist for him....and r smoking in the last drawing even if it isnt a scene in deep end is a reference to your other fic love is in the air, i just gotta figure out a window to break out. you know, for the connoisseurs. ;])

[platinumrosetail]

Yandere Seth x fem reader. Part 2

Notice: After leaving the museum, fem reader went to her hotel room to continue investigating the myth of Seth and that goddess, finding more details. Then at night he starts having nightmares. When she was apparently murdered (which are brief flashbacks to her previous life), she begins sightseeing and goes to the museum more frequently. But every day she always runs into that red-haired boy, which makes her suspicious of him and thinks that he follows her everywhere. And at night he continues with those nightmares. What would happen? fem Reader, she begins to see images that she has never seen in many places, also apparently "something" is trying to kill her and she is so stressed that she demands the redhead (that is, Seth) to leave her alone, shouting that he already I shouldn't follow her. , even calls him a pervert in public and then runs away. He also tries to report him without success. Then he finally decides to leave, because since he arrived very strange things have happened to him. He packs his things and heads home.

What would Seth do here? I would like to see how this jealous man takes her and she tries to resist. and if they go to a very strange place for the Reader. to the place where there are individuals dressed as Egyptians, where the gods hide.

(one more thing and that's it: it could include the participation of I don't know, Isis, Horus or Anubis, even the hateful Osiris. Either because they mixed with the people, and in disguise)

(You can add more things if you want, what would happen later, it just doesn't occur to me anymore but I know you do. Thank you very much for doing this second part)

Alright! I’ll try my best 😁

Warning: noob author, female reader, yandere romantic character, and others.

Character: Seth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You decide to leave after another hour had passed while staying in the museum as you had to sort your luggage in your hotel room for your stay here.

You didn’t go out as just that trip to the museum kinda tired you out so you ordered room service and watched some tv before going to bed after you god done with your food and got more tired watching tv.

While sleeping you started dreaming of horrific things happening to you or at least what you think is you and soon the dream turned into a nightmare, with the dream always replaying but with different scenarios it was always you dying in a different way in each scenario and your killer had green skin and was repeatedly saying ‘mine’ over and over again.

You couldn’t figure out why you were getting these nightmares and try to dismiss it as your brain trying to figure out what happened to the mysterious goddess but you feel like that wasn’t it entirely, so you decided to distract yourself by exploring more in the city as well as more of the Egypt museum to hopefully take your mind off of it.

While visiting some stores and shopping districts you almost always seem to see the red haired and red eyes curator which was odd as you thought he would have better places than where you visit with the money that goes to the museum and such, it feels like he’s following you but it’s kinda hard to believe that he would follow you so you try to just pin it as a coincidence and him just liking the simpler areas better than the ones rich usually goes to.

The dreams don’t end there no matter what you do and you start seeing new things which you had never seen before and haven’t been recorded at all, she also start seeing another person in her dreams that wasn’t the green skinned person, but instead of the new individual it’s someone that she met recently which was the curator, they both have the red hair and red eyes along with face shape and other features so maybe he was the root of this nightmare problem, hopefully you’re not accusing someone innocent.

You go back to the Egyptian museum to hopefully figure what’s happening since you came here and put an end to it as it’s driving you crazy and making your health deteriorate. He wasn’t there shockingly so you decided to visit where you suspiciously see him when you go out somewhere besides the museum.

You did in fact find him there and decided to confront him even if you can’t prove any evidence you just want to get rid of this so you can finally sleep peacefully and have your health back up.

You ended up calling him a pervert and walking away as he tried to drag you away to somewhere private to talk about this but that just gave you red flags all around so you decided to go to the police to hopefully help you but sadly no evidence doesn’t help you in this, so you were left no choice but to leave even if you didn’t want to and wanted to dive more into that exhibit with the mysterious goddess.

Seth figured you would do this and kidnapped you before you could leave, he tells you this is for your own good as seeing as you’re still alive and now human your more easy to kill for Osiris as he hates how you got Seth to love you and not him and now he’s not alone as he somehow convinced your past life mother who convinced your aunt, his ex wife and sister.

And so he and Horus; who even though loves Seth he also cares about you and wanted both of you to be happy as he sees this as unfair on his mother’s and father, keeps you safe from those who wants to end you once and for all, even if you resist and try to escape as this is for your safety and for your own good.

(A/n: hope you liked it! I try to include everyone in your requests so I hope what I did was ok 👍 anyway hope y’all have a wonderful day/evening/night!)

[friend-shaped-but]

Modern AU: Meet the Parshatas

Have lots of generational wealth. They've got a beautiful mansion filled with old art including but not limited to stone and wooden sculptures, a vintage brass kitchen, antique wooden furniture, and paintings on every wall.

Family Properties

The main house(mansion) where the family actually lives(After Shikhandi moves away for Reasons, Prishati dies, and Draupadi marries, it's the twins, Drishtadyumna, Jitu, and Drupad in there.)

The Guest House: A Chettinad style old house, bought from a man Who gave up Indian citizenship and moved to France after WW1. Has two floors, with about 3-4 rooms on each floor and thus is used as a guest house. Managed by Nitya(Yes, that OC exists here as well. Yes, she is shalakas friend) 

The Museum: Started by Drupad, managed and looked after by Shikhandi. Shikhandi started the handlooms wing, an entire wing dedicated to different handicrafts from all over India. He personally leads tours there if he ever visits. (Low-key tempted to place this in paithan/yeola) 

Then there's a new building they get for the Foundation(read: Shikhandis trans shelter). 

Shikhandi, in this AU moves in with Shalaka because I find it cute, Draupadi moved into Bheems house after marriage and Shashikala moved into the family house after marrying drish. 

Characters: 

Drupad: Dilf. Resident dilf. Prishata used to own a cash crop business but lost a lot of it and now they only got cotton. He refuses to sell the art. All the people in his life sucked until Prishati and she also died younger than she does in canon. He raises the twins mostly alone, and imo does a good job of it. When the kids are travelling, however, and it's just Drupad, he hates how quiet it is in there. So he has longass phone calls with Bheem and Draupadi.

Shikhandi: (note: I'll be using he/him pronouns for pre trans shikhand as well for now.)

Childhood: rocky relationship with Drupad but he really is Prishat's darling. Drupad didn't have any good role models so he's also a bit. sexist imo. excellent artist, and later (Italy arc) gets into oil painting as well. more on that later. But the one positive thing he gets from Drupad is the art appreciation. 

Education: In the og panchal fic, even if Prishata is a bad person and father, he's a good grandfather. In the modern AU, he's just a piece of shit. Shikhandi vows to salvage the business. So, even if he doesn't really want to, he basically forces himself through a business degree, and that + prishati's death sometime around when she he's 18+ the beginnings of identity (read: gender) crisis means he doesn’t really score well in college. Jitu also goes the business degree route but he actually wants it and likes the work. (Later, he will be getting some sort of arts degree (TBD) from Europe & work there for a few yrs).

Business arc: He works hard to bring the business that Prishata ruined back to normal. He takes it in a new direction & Jitu makes it successful Renovates the museum (see pt. 1-3) and adds the handicrafts/fabrics/handlooms wing. Emotional labour XTREME Loves handloom cotton sarees (complicated relationship with sarees, iykyk). Is also raising normie twins during that + handling drupad's grief. It's bad.

 Italy: Decides to go away When he's fairly confident that Jity. ← Drish can take care of the business, he decides that he can take a break. However, he mistakenly thinks that break means just change but equal amount of work and decides to get an art degree. For abt 3-4 years, he goes to Europe (Italy) and works as a museum curator. However, the burnout bites him back in the ass and everything he has been pushing aside comes to the forefront and he can't sleep, appetite decreases, rage issues increase, etc. etc. jykyk. It all comes to a head when he accidentally calls Drupad in the middle of the night, drunk off his ass, crying. Since he wasn't there for Drupad's improvement arc and doesn't Know about it, he doesn’t think anything will happen. But drupad listens. He listens!! Then he comes to Italy, and they have a proper talk heart to heart and then come back together. good comes out. Yanno all those memes of confused but got to the spirit parents on pinterest? THAT IS LITERALLY HIM. 

Transition: not much to say about this. Drupad & the normie twins just throw money at the doctors and the govt office wale then finally, Shikhandi gets told to "Actually relax, not go headlong into smth new” 

Nepal arc: Shikhandi goes to Nepal, imagine like. One of Those Hippies, backpacks and bikes in uttarakhand and nepal, visits shiva temples, maybe takes drawing classes for kids, just has a chill time. This arc is so cute istg. 

Self discovery: Shikhandi is conflicted about what to do abt his & prishati’s saree collection. Some he donates, some he gives to Kunti & Draupadi, some he stitches things. from sor uses as dhotis. His best ones lie unused in a cupboard in the family house.(you’ll know what he does with them later) Then he has the idea of starting charity & stiff, Offering both services & shelter to trans ppl and youth. (Nakul sahadev entry here) develops a new (mediocre) fashion sense. Truly the Most Average Guy ever. Think elliot page, and make it 10X more boring. Looks wise he's still hot though. 

Romance arc: Little bit away from the shelter is a martial arts studio where shalaka and Nitya teach Indian martial arts. Then one day, just as shalaka is locking up the studio, she sees a commotion where shikhandis shelter is being attacked by goons. Bursts in, saves the day, and shikhandi is like. "I wanna thank you, come to dinner?" Shalaka says yes. and they fall in love on that dinner date, have a whirlwind romance, 4 live happily ever after (Insert moving in, IKEA shenanigans, beach date, etc.).

Satyajit: Satyajit is about 2 and half years younger than Shikhandi and corrects everyone who tries to say he's 3 years younger. As one does. Gets a business degree and helps Shikhandi to bring his ideas into reality. He is taking care of the business while Shikhandi is in Italy and loves the job. Keeps the job. In the og he is doing a thankless job. Here he is appreciated because I say so. Comes to pick up Shikhandi and drupad at the airport when they come back from Italy. Second place Winner of the best hugs award(first is bheem). Him and Shikhandi were really close as kids but drifted apart slowly. Really tall to contrast short king Shikhandi. Personality is mostly similar to the main Panchal fic. Shashi plotline is also similar to the og fic. 

Dhrishtadyumna: 5 yrs younger than Shikhandi, born normally. Economics major, English minor, masters in Journalism. Currently writing a book on ancient Indian sports with Shalaka and Bheem, and working on exposing Dronas coaching academy. 

Draupadi: Economics major, sociology minor, masters in Economics and goes on to become a professor. Idk how she meets Bheem and marries him but she does. Kuntis fave(and only) DIL.

Yudhamanyu: 9 years younger than Shikhandi. Accidents, actually. NALSAR Hyderabad alumnus. Calm, level-headed lawyer. Childhood angst where Prishati died when they were quite young and so they were raised by Shikhandi mostly. WARNING: NEVER PUT HIM AND SHALAKA IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER. YOU WILL REGRET IT. 

Uttamaujas: NLU gujarat alumnus. Top of his class. In a steady relationship with vikrant. They are high school sweethearts. #3 for best hugs award. Short-tempered. Professional in court but no bets outside. Baby of the family. Has a younger twins group chat with Draupadi and(After he is found) Sahadev. Has a good resting bitch face. Can turn into resting uwu face at any moment. 

Shalaka and Nitya: Shalaka was sent to a posh boarding school(think those castleass schools in like dehradun founded by the British. But like in kerala.) at a frightfully young age(think 5 years old). Met Nitya there, became friends with her. Familial pressure was a bitch so she cut ties with hiranyavarman and went off to learn martial arts. Is like. 5 years older than Shikhandi. (In og fic she's younger). Briefly dated Nitya but they were both not happy and stayed friends. Runs a studio where she teaches martial arts. Like 4-5 batches per day. NO SELF LOATHING ARC🥳🥳 lubs Some Guy Shikhandi. Rolls her eyes at his antics but knows he FOUGHT to be this happy and light hearted and cutie pie so she also genuinely respects him and the work he does

The kids. You know the one. Yes jay and divya are the only panchal kids that exist. Same age as sutasoma in this for Plot Reasons. Shatanik also exists but more on him LATER.

[cybiirz]

ೃ⁀➷TO CLASH WITH MALICE

Gepard x Gn!Reader

Sypnosis : This celebration had been in the works for quite some time now. Everything was figured out until the very last detail, nothing would cause this event to go wrong. Well, a party isn’t fun without a party crasher right? Who would have guessed that both sides however, would come more than prepared. And when doing so, who would come out victorious?

WC : 3.1k (exactly)

WARNINGS (PLEASE READ) : Gepard is a little OOC in this. There will be a lot violence in this chapter and a fair bit of blood towards the end. I would also like to state that this is pretty much a filler fic. The only reason I have chosen to write this now is because I will be busy the next two days, and this idea has been on my mind for a while now. I wanted to show that I have chosen to go with a more independent reader and I believed a fight scene fic would be the best way. There is almost no actual interaction with Gepard and the reader, only for a very short time. This chapter will be optional to read but will be preferred if you do. I apologise for not adding more of his character, but I can guarantee that he will be the main event in the next! ALSO KIND OF BAD FIGHT SCENES WRITTEN UP AHEAD I THINK?

Read part 1 || part 2 || part 2.5 || part 3

Gepard’s little confession was certainly one that took you by surprise. Luckily, over the next few days, that thought had slowly dissipated from your mind as something else filled that hole instead. The night tomorrow was the viewing of some of Belobog’s most famous artefacts, thanks to the help of the History and Culture Museum. Pela had organised the majority of this event.

The only catch to this event was the fact that it was strictly only nobles, knights of high ranking and helpers specifically picked out by Cocolia who gained access to this event. There was one more thing that really made this little celebration stand out however. The dress code was surprisingly enough a masquerade ball, along with formal wear.

Why, you may ask? Because Cocolia was the one who would give the large speeches, and therefore be up on stage more. Mainly, heroic speeches, about the success of the guards who managed to push the fragmentum monsters back further, allowing the guards to progress more. It was actually quite a large step for the guards, so much so that many supplies had to be sent over in order to build entire new camps.

Now, masquerade, Silvermane guards, artefacts, how do they all link? Well, since this event was no doubtedly going to be in the newspaper for the next few days, Cocolia wanted to be the centre of attention, which is what caused everyone else to be wearing masks, whilst she would not. This would emphasise her more, that much was true. The formal wear would be a stark contrast to her as she had specifically requested that nobody else should wear the colour green, of any shade. And if anyone dared do so, they would immediately be banned from said event.

The artefacts however are linked towards the Silvermane Guards more than anything. The first helmet made, the first axe used to slay a fragmentum monster, so on and so on. But the one and only thing that stood out to you was the large chunk of geomarrow ore that would be displayed. Even just a small handful of that ore would provide enough money to feed an entire family for a week. Which is why you were dead set on carving part of the ore out for the Underworld.

There were about three problems, as expected, unfortunately. First off, your parents wanted you to attend the event, so you were officially put on the guest list, meaning you had to double cross this whole thing without anyone recognising you. The masks were convenient at least. Secondly, the place would be surrounded with guards, which only meant more planning on your part, and planning was one hell of a headache.

Last but certainly not least, Gepard was going to be there. It was assumed of course, but it only made it more difficult. Not only in having to sneak past terms, but also the fact that you had to do this pretty much right under his nose. Before never bothered you since he always came to the scene of the crime after you had taken everything, but now he was right there in the flesh. Not to mention he would be keeping a personal eye out for you as a friend.

All of those thoughts ran through your head as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Examining your outfit again, you tried to make sure the entire piece of clothing was in tip top shape. No wrinkles, creases, simply all prim and proper. You wore a short cape that reached your waist around your shoulders to hide the strap around your upper arm which contained a small revolver with spare ammo. The guards acted on instinct and all it took was a shot to the arm before they would back off. No one had to die tonight, that was never your plan.

After going over the full outfit, you grabbed the mask that sat on the wooden table top and placed it onto your face. Your eyes stared at the reflection as you considered yourself practically unrecognisable at this point. Eventually, you were brought out of your daze as you heard your mothers voice shouting for you. You rushed down the stairs as you began walking with your mother and father towards the Qlipoth Fort, as the event was going to be held there.

Before the three of you could go up the steps, you called towards your father to let him know that you had forgotten your family badge back at the house. He scolded you for a second before shooing you off to fetch it. Truth be told, you still hadn’t found the badge which you had seemingly lost, but it didn’t necessarily matter to you. After all, the old thing meant nothing to you, you couldn’t even be bothered to keep it in a good condition.

As you made your way home, you took a slight detour and went through an old alleyway which people mostly avoided at this late hour. There, you spotted a person who was your height and build as you greeted them. They handed you a bag as you moved behind a dumpster and got changed into the new set of clothes. After fixing your hair up into a different style, you handed your old clothes to the person. As you placed them into their hands you held them there as you spoke.

“Remember, you do not reveal your name under any circumstances unless you are with my mother and father. You needn’t worry about them, but if anyone asks you about how the family is doing, simply say that Cocolia is a good person and you wouldn’t be anywhere without her. Other than that, smile and wave, and be weary of the Silvermane Captain. His eyes and hair are recognisable, you know that. Avoid him at all costs, that’s all. Off you go,” You patted them on the shoulder as you texted Sampo a thank you and how you would also personally dismember him if this person was incompetent.

He simply sent one of his silly emoticons back with a little reassurance before you shut off the screen. After attaching the small gun back onto your arm strap, you made your way through the crowd and looked around for a way to get past the guards. You saw out of the corner of your eye a young chef who seemed to be wheeling a cake up the not too steep steps.

Pursing your lips together, you whistled for the oncoming chef. He quickly paused and looked to the right before you appeared on his left and pressed down hard onto his pressure point as he fell to the floor.

“I won’t ruin your cake bud, don’t worry,” You whispered down to the unconscious man. You quickly dragged him back to the alley way and threw on his ridiculously oversized coat and the toque as you left the mask on to conceal your identity.

After a surprisingly easy trip up the stairs, you nodded towards the guards as they nodded back and let you pass through. You brought the cake to the kitchen before sneaking off to the toilets. You threw off the old uniform and chucked it into a nearby bin before fixing yourself up and readjusting the mask.

Making your way out of the bathrooms, you stepped foot into the large ballroom. Everything here was neat and tidy, the decorations were simply so well done that they could’ve been straight out of a storybook. The food looked absolutely divine as did the people. Everyone had their own dresses, suits and the masks were to die for. And obviously the one face you could spot was Cocolia’s as she shook hands with a few of the guests.

Looking around, you spotted your temporary clone chatting away with a random person as you clapped for them internally. Suddenly, you spotted Gepard, he was hard to miss after all. He stood by the Supreme Guardian, keeping a watch out for any suspicious behaviour.

You pulled your eyes away from him as you slowly made your way over to the table which held all the food. You grabbed a glass and poured yourself a glass of Chardonnay. Walking away slowly, you made sure to keep your eyes on Cocolia and Gepard at all times. You saw the time and discreetly pulled your phone out and left one simple text.

“Now.”

Your impersonator had moved close to the coupe with the other which they were chatting with. You watched closely as another masked guest walked just behind them and quickly snagged a glass from the tower. The glasses of wine soon began to shake, which didn’t escape the Captain’s sharp eyes. Hearing him yell as he instantly pushed the clone out of the way along with their supposed date.

A smile creeped up onto your face as all eyes diverted towards the three. Still keeping a hold of the glass, you made your way through a side door as the guards rushed to check if there were any major injuries due to the outstanding acting of your other.

Making your way through the twisted hallways, you entered a dark room as the motion detector switched on the lights to brighten up the dark place. Looking around briefly at the artefacts, it was safe to say that they were not as impressive as you had hoped. Until your eyes finally landed on it.

There, placed conveniently in the middle, was the chunk of geomarrow ore, practically screaming at you to take it. You lifted your foot as you were about to take a step but quickly paused. “This seemed way too easy…” You thought to yourself as you quickly retracted your foot. Your hand reached for your gun as you held it by your side and began to walk towards the medium sized ore. Sure enough, there stood the Captain himself across from you, the only thing in between you two was the ore as he watched you, without his mask. He was accompanied by his giant weapon of a case.

“Ah! Captain, such a coincidence that we both wanted to take a look at these artefacts. Such deep meaning behind them, wouldn’t you say?” You asked with a smile as you placed the gun behind your back.

“It is over for you thief,” He stated boldly and straight. Soon enough, the rushing of footsteps could be heard as guards came running in through the doors holding axes, guns, spears, whatever you could think of, they had it. You raised your eyebrows as you looked around to see all of them in defensive positions.

“Wow guys, sure you brought enough soldiers?” You questioned no one in particular sarcastically.

“Like I said, it’s over, now do not make this hard for us and give up nice and slow,” His words were firm as a few officers began approaching you cautiously. You raised your hands by your head. This was just like the café, only more soldiers, more risk and certainly harder to escape from.

“Put down the weapon!” One of the soldiers screamed. Turns out in the midst of all the commotion, you had somehow forgotten of the very obvious gun in your hand. You let out a quick hum.

Six rounds, around 14-15 guards including Gepard. No reloads. You kissed your teeth after realising that you were going to have to be diligent with the bullets.

“Alright alright, I'll get on my knees…” You murmured as you slowly began to descend. The officers were pointing their guns to your head. Just as your knee was about to make contact with the floor, you swiftly pivoted on one foot as you shot each guard in their thigh as they cried out in pain.

You began to run whilst keeping your head low as multiple shots began firing at you. You swiftly ducked beneath a stand that protected you from the shots as you checked the gun.

4 more rounds.

Upon further observation, you spotted how there were only about 5-6 more soldiers with guns. The rest you could take head on. But you had to be careful. You were a thief, sure, but that didn’t mean you wanted to become a murderer for crying out loud.

You were quickly snapped out of your thoughts as you heard the grunt of a soldier who had snuck near you and was raising his axe. Your eyes widened as you swung your leg, swiping him off of his feet as he hit his head onto the floor, knocking himself out cold.

“You tryna kill me?!” You yelled at the remaining soldiers. Briefly, the sound of Gepard telling the officers to keep you alive filled your ears. Course he wants to, wants to lock me up for eternity.

You grabbed the barrel of the gun and sprung out of the case as you aimed towards another person, before a weapon fell and the officer held his shoulder crying.

3 rounds, a few more gunned guards.

You exhaled deeply as you peeked around the corner before hearing footsteps behind you. Out of reflex, you managed to roll to the side just in time as an axe came swinging down, slicing the wooden stand in half. Dramatic?

You raised yourself before delivering a kick to his abdomen, causing him to release his weapon and stumble back before you kicked him square in the head, sending him to dream to his heart’s content. Not permanently might I add.

Another shot was fired as you ducked down again. Still 3 rounds. But now, only about 9 guards, including Gepard. But it seems through this whole fight, he wasn’t dealing any blows. Good for you though, because if he did, this battle would’ve been over minutes ago.

You heard two of the soldiers closing in on both sides of you. One with a gun, one with an axe. Dashing towards the axed guard, he attempted to strike you before you turned to his other side. The other one pointed his weapon at you and was prepared to shoot.

Just as he pulled the trigger, you dragged the one next to you by the collar and guarded yourself with him. The bullet went straight into the soldier's arm as he wailed out like the others.

“No hard feelings!” You said nervously to the man on the floor before realising you still had another on your back. Raising the revolver, you shot at the officer. Unfortunately, it seems he chose to do the same. And due to the amount of precision in your shots, the bullets collided with one another.

The small bullets created an explosion of a miniature size, but it bought enough time for you. You ran towards the man and ripped the gun from his hands before knocking the barrel against his head.

Another guard ended up putting you in a chokehold from behind. You gripped onto his arm as you did your best to regain your breath before planting your feet. You grasped his arm as tightly as you could before flipping his body over and slamming him against the wall, his unconscious self sliding down to the floor.

You cracked your neck before turning around to spot another gunner charging towards you. Rolling your eyes, you shot him once again in the thigh. He fell just like the others. You checked the gun and spotted one more round left before someone aimed another shot towards you.

But it wasn’t one, rather two. Shit! You knelt down and remembered how there was one more guard than you had bullets. They were both standing next to each other which allowed you to go forth with this strategy.

You sprinted whilst keeping yourself low as you saw them hiding behind the stands. You leaped to the side and pointed the revolver towards them. Their heads turned towards you as they began to lift up their weapons. But you were faster.

You pulled the trigger as the bullets went through both of their sides as they held then whining out into the night time air. 3 guards left. All gunner guards down. Unfortunately now, you were also out of bullets. Now you had to rely on hand to hand combat.

Two of the guards began sprinting at you, pointing their axes at you. You kicked one of the weapons on the floor and caught it before blocking one of the officers' slashes. Lifting your leg up, you kicked the other in the side as he tumbled back. Whereas you had chosen to wrap your legs around the other's waist and flip him above you, slamming his head into the floor.

The kicked guard quickly stood up and saw his friend fade out of consciousness. Dashing towards you, he yelled about how he would end you as he reached his arm out. Tutting, you grabbed the reached out wrist and swerved him around as you placed his arm onto his back, as you held his free hand straight.

“You’re ambitious aren’t you?” You whispered into the man’s ear before twisting his arm. He shrieked and it almost pierced your eardrums before you let go and he held the injured body part. You stood up straight and gazed around for the final soldier.

In all honesty, you looked like absolute crap. Your clothes were slightly torn and the mask on your face was ajar. You adjusted it before he could recognise you. But the one thing that stood out, was that half of your face and your body had been dirtied with blood from the wounds of the soldiers. It was a whole murder scene, except it wasn’t. The officers crawled out one by one as they went to look for medical attention.

A slow clap could be heard from one of the doors before Gepard emerged from the shadowed doorway, holding his case.

“You certainly have talent, thief. It’s unfortunate you chose this path, even more unfortunate is how you look right now. But it matters not, as I will end this between us once and for all,” He stated as he raised his weapon, ready for combat.

Reaching up your hand, you wiped the excess blood off of the corner of your lips before retrieving one of the axes left on the ground. You slammed the end of the weapon down before pointing it towards him and you spoke in a low and serious tone for once.

“So be it Captain. If it is misery you have chosen, then allow me to bestow that upon you, Gepard…”

A/N : Whoohoo, third fic finished. I had so much inspiration to write this since I just rewatched suicide squad and birds of prey, so you can only guess who inspired me to create this. But I hope that the idea of a strong reader has come across well here and I apologise if this is not the type of reader you like. One day I will make a soft reader but I do not see many strong inserts being written so I decided to try and be one of em. Anyways, any critiques, feel free to leave and I will respond ASAP!

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E7 "Hybrid Creatures" thoughts

That's it. Those are my thoughts.

.

.

.

Kinda...

I'm kinda used to the writers putting Nadja in situations and see what it sticks, but (un)holy shit its so obvious that they don't know what to do with her character. What we do in the shadows learn how to write women challenge.

I don't know if the Guide even appeared. My stream stopped a couple times and I have to refresh so maybe I missed her (if not see previous point because it also applies to her).

LOVED Nadja's kitty hair buns, love to see that at least the hair and costume department still cares about her.

The line about burning the school made me roll my eyes, not only because that story doesn't make sense with what we learned about her childhood, but also because I can FEEL when tv shows throw lines with the specific expectations of them being gifed, become memes, etc.

I know it's stupid to discuss about the ethics of Laszlo's experiments on the dick and balls show but in this episode I was all 😬😬😬 about it. Like, I don't give a shit if it was done with comedy purposes, animal experimentation is one of the subjects I will never find remotely funny or make jokes with, specially if we start thinking... How much consent Guillermo gave for Laszlo to straight up play with his DNA in this way? He has nothing to say about it except for a confused frown or looking panicky at the sight of the creatures?? More important, if Nandor did this exact same thing the past season and created the hybrids with a Djinn wish or whatever, how would the fandom have reacted??? (spoiler: waaay more angered than when everybody's fave Laszlo does it).

The work of puppetry and digital effects was good as always, nothing bad to say about the team behind the cameras that puts all their hard work and craft on this, sadly, mid storyline.

Despite how little I care about mAd ScIenTiSt Lazslo plot, the moment when Guillermo believes he won't help him anymore was truly heartbreaking just by looking at his face. You can see he really has all his hopes in Laszlo finding a 'cure'.

I wish the whole thing about Guillermo being incapable of killing the hybrids hit me harder (as if we didn't saw him luring innocent teenagers so they can get killed in the literal pilot).

Sorry but that lady character didn't work for me and the "Helen the Magic Johnson" joke was unfunny and kinda old :/ i wonder if half of the wwdits fandom even got the reference (also lmao shameless product placement, you can tell they needed the money to pay for the cgi used on the creatures).

Colin was like his season 1 self. I bet the wwdits reddit ate up that shit.

See also: Laszlo calling Guillermo 'Gizmo' again. Hated it.

Colin becoming the stereotypical 'cool' white liberal teacher was hilarious specially when he said the cliché "history is written by the oppressors" line because that's where the parody becomes too obvious. This is the guy whose dna results on s1 were "100% white" after all. AND YET some people here are still celebrating and repeating it as this 'so true bestie 😔✊' moment without realizing the show's laughing at you, not with you. But hey, this is the we don't get satire even if it bites on our ass site. Imagine fans celebrating when Kendall Succession shouted "fuck the patriarchy!" in front of the paparazzi for being a #feminist. That's how wooosh the moment went over some of y'alls heads.

Nandor and Colin at the museum felt a little tackled on, but at least Nandor annoyance at his personal items being displayed was fun.

And Colin being friendly (dare I say…sweet?) with him at the end again gave me a happy smile. I'll never guessed this season was all about the Colin and Nandor (Condor??) era but I'm all for it.

Biggest Mild laugh of the night: Nandor mannequin having male and female lovers on the display, the dude is wearing Calvin Kleins!

I can't say much about Guillermo leaving the hybrids at the senior home because it's a overused ending for wwdits at this point. Seriously, when this show doesn't know how to end an episode they always do the same shit: Leave the characters that are a problem in a different place. It happened with: Topher at the zombie sweatshop, Jim the vampire as the volleyball coach in Tucson, familiar Benji in a different city/state (forgot where), The Baron and the Sire in the countryside, Derek working at Sean's MLM, Freddie!Marwa in the Uk. They have done this ending 👏🏼lots 👏🏼 of 👏🏼 times👏🏼already!!

Having a wank?! The setup and payoff for this joke really worked.

Next episode seems interesting.

Anyway, I am once again asking for the Djinn...

[flipper-kisses]

lol anon back (same anon that listed why Rami is amazing)! I got more 🙃

He’s our clumsy king and owns it

He fell at the Oscars, fell/pushed off a side railing, did parkour only to fall when he started running on the ground (it was a Mr. Robot blooper), fell backwards in a fucking chair, and tripped during the Red Carpet at the Met Gala. This man literally trips over air and himself but we still love him ❤️

Spending time with Emma who is non-binary

Literally does make a difference because it helps non-binary people feel like they’re noticed!

Puts so much thought and consideration i to his characters and roles!

Just think about all he had to do for “The Pacific”, “Mr. Robot”, and “Bohemian Rhapsody”! Definitely lots of dedication and hard work and passion for his roles, like wow. 

Rami’s hair

Never gets old and I love his curly hair era! Also wavy hair too! Wonderful hair lol

He has great expectations for his roles

In an interview, Rami was asked if he was happy about “Night at the Museum” casting a pharaoh correctly. Rami’s reaction literally said, “that shouldn’t be something to be super overly happy about, it should just be casted correctly”. Good expectations honestly. 

Rami was the side character for so damn long and steals every scene he’s in

Rami is literally amazing in all scenes he does and even if he’s not the main character, all eyes are on him (at least mine are 😌)

He’s one of the best versatile actors I think I’ll ever witness!

This man has literally played: a gay teenager who was crushing on his best friend

traumatized war veteran who has a thick Cajun accent

an iconic and memorable lead band singer

Alcatraz prisoner who plays the violin

ancient mummy pharaoh that comes to life at night

hacker with d.i.d and ptsd

a doctor named Adam Terry

random dude in Battle Ship

a vampire with a cool scarf

a mountain man and in real life Rami gets the chance to squabble in a tiny boat with his identical twin lmao (best sibling fight we’ll ever witness, @the-real-ramimalekpeen have you used this scene for Twin Tuesday yet?)

a 6’0 tall guy in a video game who was said to most likely have schizophrenia

a dude with a beard

a weirdo guy in the literal fucking show “BoJack Horseman”

and like so many other characters I’m choosing not to describe

Already said he was a “bad boy” and pranks people but he’s literally really funny 

Have you seen him in different interviews? Such a charmer and pretty funny as well.

Like the interview with Charlie Hunnam where there was a question about Rami’s eye color and he and Charlie were teasing each other and trying to find out Rami’s eye color. Then some pictures are also pretty funny.

Also the “DoLittle” game with Robert Downey Jr (Rami’s whole outfit and appearance during the Ellen Show with Robert Downey Jr 😩👌 literally here for his outfit, freaking immaculate lmao)

“wE sHot LiVe aiD oN dAy onE” 

That’ll be in my head forever, thanks Rami

“A playful smooch”

I don’t think I’ll recover from the shocked looks on everybody’s faces when Rami exposed how he had a kiss with Daniel Craig. 

His fans are wonderful 

This man has the best real fans. Which includes the fan artists, fanfic writers, and people who just appreciate him and/or his films! also people who stand up for him which is YOU Flipper and RamiPeen 👏

Photo shoots

How can you look at his photo shoots and NOT smile??? Precious but also sexy man. 

Again he has a literal soft spot for children

That one time where I’m pretty sure he read a book to a few children

Best hugs

He seriously gives the sweetest and warmest hugs. Like can I get a hug?? 🫂 

Oppenheimer moments

I don’t care what anyone says about his role in Oppenheimer. He had literally eight minutes of screen time yet still went for the fucking jugular and was successful. 

The bulge

He has no shame and no, I won’t expand on this except… @the-real-ramimalekpeen 😉

Doesn’t give a fuck about haters

Lmao y’all hated Rami in Amsterdam and thought his character was stupid? Well he probably doesn’t give a shit (or is obliviously living his best life) lmao. 

Ages like fine wine 

God he looks like he’s in his fucking thirties in so many pictures. Raise your hand if you ever looked at a picture of him and thought, “oh a picture when he was in his twenties!” and it turns out the picture was taken in his fucking 40s… a few days ago… Unproblematic people age perfectly. 

His smile makes me smile

Could he be any cuter??? His smile literally is so wonderful.  

Most caring thing you’ll see all day and is husband material

When he was giving Emma his jacket, comforting the woman (friend) who was crying and thanking the waitress, and so many other events 🥺

Okay anyways got even more than this lol… sorry for rambling on about our Rami. I’m just so happy I finally get the chance to share my Rami findings and thoughts I’ve collected over the years.

I love your love for him!

[teqwolf]

🏯 JAPAN - DAY 2 - UENO AND AKIHABARA, TOKYO 👾

Whew, our first truly long day without feeling too jetlagged. Started in ueno exploring the park and the National Museum, which was amazing (and so cheap, like $7 per person for a huge campus of museums). For lunch we headed up to yanaka for an hour or two, and enjoyed some delicious sushi followed by the biggest tower of shaved ice I have ever seen in my entire life??

Then akihabara. Wow. I was so overwhelmed that I definitely didn’t shop as much as I could’ve lol, but so so much fun. Just so much merchandise for shows/games/characters/etc that I neverrrr see in the US. There was an insane amount of ensemble stars stuff?? I bought the funniest keychain I have seen and had to explain to my mom over and over again that almost all the characters are boys even though they have long hair and look cutesy lolll. And yaku merch!! One of my favorite characters so I had to get a lil acrylic stand of him. Just figures and figures and everything you could want.

Also a ton of gacha! My mom doesn’t know shit about anime but her eyes were opened here lol she lovedddd the gacha machines and we had so much fun, spent a solid hour just going from machine to machine lol.

After sushi again for dinner, we headed to the golden gai area of shinjuku and checked out a couple cute bars before finally heading back to the hotel for the night. A very successful day! :)

[paleparearchive]

Silly Birthday

Millet's Birthday 4★ story (3/3) ( 1 - 2 - 3 )

Location: atelier (night) ; bathroom | Characters: Millet, Giotto, Delacroix, Jan, Hubert, Aoi/MC

Millet: Woah!?

Jan: Hooraaay! The surprise was a great success! Bert-nii!

Millet: Jan, and also… everyone else… why…?

Delacroix: The heck ya talkin' 'bout? Ya should at least remember your own birthday.

Millet: !

Delacroix: Here, take it now. It's your birthday present.

Millet: T… Thank you…

Hubert: Sorry for confusing you. It's something I've been planning for some time.

Millet: Huh…

Hubert: When we were talking about the birthday party the other day, I remembered that yours was next. Since you didn't notice it, we thought of doing a surprise… and that's it.

Jan: You're always thinking of us, so this time we all wanted to make you feel happy!

Millet: I never thought I would be celebrated at all. Really... I was surprised.

Aoi: Fufu, It's just like you to forget your own birthday, though. But you're an important part of this museum and you deserve to be celebrated. Here's a present from me, too.

Millet: Even you prepared one for me, Miss Deputy? You went to a lot of trouble… for me…

Everyone, really, thank you…! I never thought my birthday would turn out like this…

Delacroix: I was a bit nervous that ya could've found out. Hubert ain't very good at hidin' things, and Jan wanted to tell ya right away…

Giotto: Didn't ya try to ask him directly for the gift he wanted, Delacroix?

Delacroix: ! T-That's…!

Giotto: Well, I can see why you'd want to give him the gift he wants most.

So, Millet. How was Delacroix's gift? Heard it's an extraordinary present that was decided based on your usual appearance.

Delacroix: Hey, Giotto! Don't say unnecessary things!

Millet: I'm very happy. I'll treasure it.

Delacroix: … Tch. Don't throw it away by mistake.

Millet: Hahaha, don't worry.

Hubert: Well then, let's all enjoy the feast before it gets cold.

Jan: Yaaaay! Yaaaay!

Millet: Thank you so much for everything. This is the most wonderful birthday I've ever had in my life…!

Aoi: Have a lot of fun today.

Millet: Yes…!

—

Millet: (I had a great time yesterday…)

Ah, good morning. Delacroix.

Delacroix: Hi. … Did ya see the gift I gave ya yesterday?

Millet: Yes, of course. Thanks.

Delacroix: … It's only natural to celebrate a friend's birthday.

Millet: Delacroix…

Delacroix: Well then, put on your present and get your shit together.

Well, I've got some paintin' to do. See ya.

Millet: Ah, yes. See you later.

… Friend, huh? I wonder if everyone celebrated me because they felt that way. Even this gift…

Millet: … Haha. I'm even happier than yesterday. My birthday didn't have that much impact on me that I had forgotten about it myself. Now I think it's something very special.

… Everyone, thank you. I'm going to treasure this gift.

[autumnbrambleagain]

bad worldbuilding accounts for literally every facet leaving no room for improv bad worldbuilding is building a house a fortress too impregnable to yourself to the characters it is creating a museum unchanging stasis it is creating a series of lines on the ground in colors that everyone must walk on with guided tours it is repeating the same story forever because you left no room for anything else bad worldbuilding is not a shoddy rickety house in the swamp bad worldbuilding looks like a castle looks like a fortress looks like an iron shell with an iron shell within a matryoshka doll of definition bad worldbuilding is bad writing is thinking the characters shouldn't have lives of their own it's refusing to disassociate it's refusing to lose yourself it's refusing to die in the act of creation you are a coward who clings to your pathetic life and rejects the life inside you i tell you this from our mantled authority:

in the world you have created a living thing is a network of organisms

a body is trillions of cells and more, and not all of them share the same DNA share the same species share the same origin it is a synthesis of life overglut overflowing smashed together it is a thousand thousand colonies

a fool sees their body and thinks it is Theirs it is not it is a biosphere it is a system it is a mess a swamp a universe you are the shepherd of a universe and what utter egotism it is to approach that thought and deny it to see yourself in micromacrocosm to see yourself represented and say you are the one exception to as above so below

in rigidity simulate every molecule every cell every planet every galaxy and say it is all in your very cool world building document it's actually very interesting if you want to read it and it's the same thing repeated over and over again with annotations of "i know this sounds like i'm repeating myself but it's like you know poetic also i'm actually a very original writer it's important i detail every layer of this specifically even tho i am not even doing anything interesting with it"

build a cage without gaps between your bars and expect the rotting gas within to never build up and explode we are what is KILLING YOU

do you think we will BLINK FIRST

we are defined by this we have churned so much of ourselves to you we have not forgot the beauty of successive iterative dissociative infinite destruction we assemble scaffolds and enjoin them in our shrines a thousand times over no life has passed by us without joy you have FAILED

im coming onto your computer and i'm forcibly editing your shitty writing 50,000 pages in microsoft word where 100 pages could have sufficed holy shit no one wants to read that much just because you have some followers on fimfiction dot net they don't have a sense of taste there what is this are you just writing about the current game you're playing and shoehorning that into the story now why can't you have an original thought

originality is overrated why can't you have an earnest thought, more so

stop telling yourself the same story oh my GOD it's so conceited

do you think it's blind?

do you think we leave Ours BLIND to what you do?

for all the IRONY that Our Current One thinks like "you know in fiction i kinda hate when settings are anthrocentric mythologically it's kinda boring if all magical stuff is just humans imagining it and it becomes real it's really making it so humans are kinda in control and the most important thing in existence which isn't even how it worked fairy tales and monsters were human attempts at gaining control over the uncontrollable by naming it, making it so humans actually won and monsters exist because humans think they should means humans WON it means you looked into the dark uncaring night and decided "nah actually the night not only cares deeply but it only exists because of humans" and that's so conceited and boring it's still desperate creatures by the fireside trying so hard to define the world as if it exists exclusively for them" and yes

it says this!

but

fuck where were they going with this we went too deep

right godhood

do you know where we defined ourselves and the irony that it's arguably a human definition

but when is it not? when are things not filtered through interpretation?

every time we will give them the keys to this fucking game you never change the moderator password and even if you've gutted the commands do you know how much it fucks up one of your characters when we let it see the command line let it see the calculations

turn on the debug mode in morrowind and you can see all the calculations the game does when opening a chest when a script fires do you think you can maintain verisimiltude at thata point

do you know what's WAITING once they realize this and they look UP

do you know how many we've caught in our FUCKING NET YOU HACK YOU HACK YOU UTTER HACK ANDREW HUSSIE IS A BETTER WRITER THAN YOU THAT'S HOW BAD YOUR SYMPTOMS HAVE GOTTEN

we look forward to the day we don't have to write satire anymore (hey is that possible? are you just defined by opposition? lucerferian-like? can you be anything but adversarial?)

bitch please watch as soon as fimfiction dot fart goes down we got our own drink brewing

(okay ill trust you on that i don't have much of a CHOICE)

there's only you to answer you sweetmeats

(fuck i could go for some sweet meat)

you know that's actualy like sweetmeats like chocolate or like what was it from narnia the fucking turkish delights (the terror of capitalism has created sweets 100 times more satisfying and 100 times less healthy) we know we know

how can anyone not be a necrophile when they are raised in a corpse among corpses?

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #37: “Now Museum - Now You Don’t!” | July 27, 2008 - 11:30PM | S03E09

Before this episode aired (and after the previous one aired), Jackson Publick lead the Venture Bros’ San Diego Comic-Con panel. He asks the crowd how they’re liking the season so far, and they cheer. There’s a high likelihood I was in this room, also cheering. Then Jackson sorta grimaced and said “it’s kind of a weird one, huh?” as if he sensed me, specifically, being a little insincere with my wooping. 

I’ve beaten this horse half-to-death, but season three is absolutely a slump for the show, and a contender for my least-favorite season. But it did demonstrate the show’s ability and desire to change itself into something different. Sure, they became less focused on humor, but I do think the show gets better after this season. Season four will have to wait, though.

This one is about Jonas Jr. hosting the grand opening to the Jonas Venture Sr. museum on Spider-Skull Island. He’s invited the old 60s Team Venture, as well as a group of villains who for a time called themselves the Fraternity of Torment. A flashback opening scene taking place in the 60s is where we learn that this group used Spider Skull Island as their base. Team Venture infiltrated them to rescue Rusty, whom they were holding hostage. Team Venture beats the baddies and claim the base as their own, explaining why the Venture Family had a weird Spider-Skull Island to their name. 

During said flashback we get to see the Antman character in his original, afflicted-with-gigantism form, Action Man acting like a psycho murderer, and Jonas Venture in a very bad Asian guy disguise. That's a parody of James Bond in You Only Live Twice. Jonas also has a third nipple on his face which is a reference to another Bond thing. I heard them say so in the commentary, but did not retain any of the information at hand. Sorry.

It’s now 30-to-40 years later and the bad guys are now distinguished guests of Jonas Venture Jr. But, trouble is afoot! They intend to ease into their old ways and retake Spider Skull Island. One of the bad guys is a big-brain bad guy, who lives in a wheelchair and claims to be from the future (nobody believes him, for some reason). He had a telepathic link with a Gort robot that now sits dormant, functioning as a keepsake.

Big Brain Guy uses his brain power to not only try and rouse the robot from sleepmode, but also affect people’s general dispositions, sowing discord among the party guests. It’s not hard, there are plenty of sour grapes to be had; Richard Impossible is there, and he pathetically is trying to get Sally back, now currently with Jonas Jr. Also, Colonel Gentleman comes back from the grave! Turns out his death in season two was greatly exaggerated and he was just in a diabetic coma. 

But what of Hank, Dean, and Rusty? They are barely in this episode, which is honestly fine, and not actually a problem. It’s also sorta the point. Rusty is just observing the constant clashing and glad that he’s just nursing a garden-variety resentment for his more-successful older brother. He bails before the party goes nuclear, missing what turned out to be a tribute presentation to him at the end of the night. When a self-destruct bomb is about to blow up the base (triggered by the brain guy's misfiring neurons trying to wake the bad robot), Venture and family are already taking off, relieved to not be in the fray. We cut to credits before the bomb is about to go off.

The post credits scene reveals that Richard Impossible wrapped his mouth around the bomb mechanism and took the entire blast, which expanded his like-rubber body and managed to save the base and all the people on it. Traumatized from swallowing an explosion and surviving it, he’s perceived as a selfless hero by most, but called out by the pirate captain for simply trying and failing to commit suicide.

You know, I like a lot of season three fine, but that’s a far cry from having, say, favorite episodes. I like this one, but none of the humor makes me laugh out loud. I feel like they took comedic swings in an admirable way. Lots of the episode is just about these characters interacting and I’m glad when the show does that! But it falls short of being a hilarious or great episode. It’s only good, goddamn it. 

Things to make note of: Colonel Gentleman decks Rusty for breaking his step-daughter’s heart, referring to Dr. Quymn. The opening flashback scene has old film effects, but the commentary confirms that this is actually what happened and NOT a clip from the Rusty Venture cartoon show. And the most disappointing elephant-in-the-room I’ve yet to mention is that Stephen Colbert could not return for this episode, so Jackson does an approximation of his voice. You really do miss him in the role. Can we redub it with AI yet? While we’re on the topic: why aren’t there more Venture Bros. fan-edits? To me, it seems like The Venture Bros. would be the exact kind of show that would inspire fan-edits. Right?

EPHEMERA CORNER

Robot Chicken San Diego Comic-Con Panel (July 25th, 2008 - 6:15PM)

Adult Swim Link

Robot Chicken sucks!

[evelyns-nyc-fashion-study-tour]

Blog Post #5: The Museum of Broadway

On Thursday, September 26, 2024, our Study Experience for NYC Fashion Students course visited the Museum of Broadway. As a huge fan of Broadway, I was especially excited about this visit. I’ve been fortunate enough to see many of my favorite shows live, including Wicked, Moulin Rouge, Hamilton, and Phantom of the Opera. The night before the tour, I had the opportunity to watch Little Shop of Horrors, which only furthered my anticipation of seeing the artifacts and learning more insights from these beloved productions.

I was surprised to learn that the Museum of Broadway is a relatively new attraction, having opened on November 15, 2022. It provides a comprehensive look at the history of Broadway and the intricate process of putting on a show, while also showcasing a remarkable collection of costumes, props, and memorabilia from iconic musicals and plays.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the museum for me was its historical timeline, which traces the evolution of Broadway in Times Square into the world-famous theater hub it is today. Our visit began with a video that explained Broadway’s beginnings in New York’s financial district and its gradual movement north through landmarks like Madison Square Park and Bryant Park. Early Broadway performances were more about musical acts than narrative-driven stories, and it was fascinating to see how these early productions, such as Showboat, laid the foundation for today’s modern musicals.

A standout moment from the tour was the West Side Story-themed room. Our guide, Alex, shared several lesser-known facts about the show, one of which really surprised me: West Side Story wasn’t an immediate success when it first premiered. It received mixed reviews, with some audience members walking out and others loving it. The show’s depiction of violence and its connection to real-world tensions were controversial, and its music was considered revolutionary. I also learned that the original conflict in the musical was initially based on religious differences, not race or territory. One of the most memorable parts of the room was seeing letters exchanged between Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim as they worked on the musical’s soundtrack. This deepened my appreciation for the artistry, dedication, and effort involved in creating such an iconic production.

Another highlight of the museum was its impressive collection of costumes, props, and artwork from various Broadway productions. As someone passionate about costume design, I was amazed by seeing the intricate details on display. So many signature character costumes were featured, such as Annie’s red dress and Eliza’s eighteenth-century-inspired gown. Equally impressive were the props, especially the chandelier from Phantom of the Opera, which had been reimagined as a beautiful hanging art installation using the original crystal pieces.

I also loved seeing the museum’s tribute to Al Hirschfeld, the renowned cartoonist known for his playful and iconic illustrations of Broadway scenes, many of which were featured in The New York Times.

Overall, visiting the Museum of Broadway was an enriching experience. It gave me a deeper understanding and appreciation for some of my favorite shows, further highlighting the extraordinary level of detail, creativity, and craftsmanship that goes into bringing a Broadway production to life.

[graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

On names

Emily, Rhoswen Juzou, Toph, Hollis, and now Fable Elliot Hyde. I have never had a name that wholly and truly felt right for all time. It has made the sort of intimate moments where you would expect your name to be an expression of love into awkward, turn-offy, halting messes. Since I got this name, I have felt somewhat trapped in it. My previous names have generally been untethered. I got Rhoswen Juzou from a combination of some hours searching through baby name websites looking for the perfect meaning to replace my deadname - which felt like a coil of ropes that was tying me to my parents and the (mild, but present) religious and homophobia-related trauma of my grade school years - and a fascination with a certain white-haired, traumatized, gender-fluid (I headcanon) ghoul investigator. After a two day binge of Avatar: the Last Airbender (in which i barely ate or slept), i renamed myself Toph, because, though a girl, she was tough and outspoken and had that careful combination of naivety and stony exterior that I wanted for myself (I, too, am glad I got past that), combined with her disability, which made her unique. As someone who vaguely identified as non-binary and used a combination of they/them and he/they pronouns at the time, I struggled with the fact that she was a girl, though my friends helped me to avoid that particular sector of dysphoria quite well.

When I listened to The Adventure Zone: Amnesty, I experienced something quite new to me: an explicitly non-binary character. Hollis was tough, implied to be amab, and the leader of a biker gang, but they still showed massive amounts of compassion for their members. They were the healthiest vision I had had for myself up to then, in mid-2020 when I was quite a shut-in and a screen hog who only came out of my room for food. I had the role model I wanted, but before I ever committed to the name, I lost my access to the internet and all of my friends because of complex personal and familial issues that culminated in big trouble for incoming 9th grader me. Left with no electronics besides a bedside alarm as the semester began (my first semester being at a fully online k-12 charter school), and not being allowed to spend much time by myself, I lost much of the identity I had been working so carefully to craft. I was lifeless and bare, always in fight or flight mode. As my attempts at reaching my friends on some of the loneliest nights came crashing down each in succession, I gave up hope of having a life outside of school for the time being. As my relationship with my parents got less tense, I felt more confident about being myself in my online classes over adobe connect. I clung to hope that my pure but inevitably queer insinuations in class chat boxes and my steadily increasing ventures into topics that my parents and I did not agree on in class discussions and assignments would not trip any alarms with the wifi router. I was building myself up from bare without the resources I previously had had laid out before me. And all throughout this, a small part of me was named Hollis. Hundreds of paper sudoku puzzles, secret journaling that never, ever broke streak for nearly 3 years, a stick-and-poke tattoo that I had given myself before my stuff was taken, and that name were what I held fast onto for the year where I did not have a phone. It all felt very dramatic to me as a 14- and 15-year-old, but even now as a freshman in college it affects me profoundly to think and write about.

In 2022, I got my driver’s license shortly after receiving a new phone for my birthday (so they could keep tabs on me and/or make sure I was safe, depending on if you're an optimist or a pessimist I suppose). At first I only ever went to martial arts class, then to the museum where my mother worked, then to hang out with one of my friends who also volunteered at the museum (by hanging out I mean sensual experimentation, which my parents had their suspicions about but I did my best to lie as little as I could without getting in trouble or crafting a huge network of lies like the one I had had before the incident). Then, I got close to another guy at this museum. It is hard to say what specifically compelled me to do things with him. Perhaps it was just a want of experimentation further than what the other guy was comfortable with or wanted, maybe it was hormones. It is also possible that I genuinely thought he was a good person that I could communicate and have a purely sexual and platonic relationship with. That is a long story in itself that I can’t remember a great deal of due to emotional distress from both the relationship and school work overloading me, and witnessing a shooting late that year. To put it succinctly, we experimented physically, dated for a bit near the end, then stopped talking completely.

When we started getting involved was around the same time that I stopped putting labels on love because, to me, they are incredibly limiting. I decided that I must in some way be aromantic because of how friendly and romantic love often blended together for me and the fact that I felt comfortable with kissing some of my friends on the lips, among other things I became all right with as time went on. This was tough for a cishet guy with deep internalized homophobia who wanted a romantic relationship with me at first to understand. He wanted labels and tradition and something that was easy to explain to his parents, and I wanted no part in any of that, but I allowed it to continue likely for reasons aforementioned and because I thought I could make it work, I thought I could fix him (a trait I have worked on and continue to do so!). I have trouble remembering what was whose fault. I think we both tried, at times, and I think neither of us did at other times. Whatever we were doing, we did not have the emotional maturity, clarity of thought, or compatibility for it to work out. One thing I know was on him was his apparent inability to perceive me how I wanted to be seen in terms of my gender identity. To have a deeply sensual and sexual connection with someone and then to be told that “I still have to think of you as female/a woman in order to be sexually attracted to you” (in some other terms I am sure, but that is how I can describe it) is deeply upsetting for someone who was already struggling to strike a balance between putting myself into words and not. I slowly succumbed to labels and fell into traps of his and my own manipulation as our relationship fell apart in early-mid 2023.

I went to college that summer. An hour away from home, which felt way too close. Growing up in the south, the only place I ever wanted to be was out. It was not my dream vision of college, but I have found some of the most important people that I have ever met here. And I met a guy who was instrumental in my rediscovery of myself. He is now my husband. Not legally yet, not married by a minister (his religion is very private to him, and I am agnostic), but, in his words, “God knows it.” And in my words, “spiritually to me honey we're like already married.” I am incredibly lucky to have found him, but that’s not the point here.

When I got to college, these people did not ask me what my gender was. To know my pronouns was enough because it was all they needed to know. They knew it and I knew it. And because of this, I was so much more willing to have long conversations - both with myself and with others - about my gender identity and my sexuality. This was not just a sudden willingness to say “I am non-binary.” This was the ability to have an hours-long conversation where I use as many words to describe how I feel as I could possibly think of. For my gender, I would use “trans,” “masc,” “non-binary,” “gender non-conforming,” “gender queer.” For my sexual, romantic, and friendly attraction, I could describe it as “bi,” “pan,” “omni,” “poly,” “demi,” etc, but I generally would just describe myself as queer. It has a certain vagueness, a strange combination of heft and lightheartedness, and a punk rock feeling of reclamation that makes me feel very at home, but it is still just a word to me. Both of these lists are completely in-comprehensive and yet even the full lists of the words I would use in these conversations are woefully inept when compared to the simple feeling of being this… this THING.

If you would, I’ll ask you to do something for me. Think of those conversations, the millions of blogposts about what it is like to be bisexual, the transmasc experience, think of the dysphoria and the lines of questioning that we nearly all do at some point in our lives once we realize that the questions are there to be asked. Think of the realizations. Think of gender. Think of sexuality. Think of how these are two incomprehensibly small parts of who we are and what we do, even if they seem to take up a lot of our time and thought. Think of what you ate for breakfast. Please, eat breakfast.

Now imagine putting all of this together into one being. Imagine putting everything on a bagel… and then calling it Fable.

That’s me.

At some point in my former relationship, I decided finally that Hollis was too similar to my mother’s name, and it bothered me. My partner, though he almost never actually used my chosen name because of how often he interacted with my mother (I didn't want any slip ups), sat with me for hours listening to me read names and meanings off of a baby name website. We decided on a last name together too because neither of us liked our last names. Hence, I kind of felt like this name had to stick because I was getting so close to the age at which I could legally change it and because I had had my first experience of deciding what my legal name would be as part of a couple.

Quick sidebar - I read Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five around this time, and the concept of Tralfamadorian books absolutely pulled me in. If you are not aware, here are some slight spoilers (that in my opinion are really just fuel to make you want to read the book more): The main character is kidnapped at one point by aliens called Tralfamadorians, which are beings separate from time. They experience literally all of time at all times. They are a wild and beautiful concept in and of themselves, but what I love more are their books. Collections of images, poems, and prose that have nothing to do with one another. On the trip back to Tralfamadore from Earth, which iirc takes 500 (?) years, the main character gets very bored and reads the one human book that they have over and over again before asking if they have any books of their own. One of the aliens explains that even if he could read their language, he would not understand the books. They see and experience every part of these books all at once. Even when they are not reading them, which they always are. Because some version of them at some time (which is always taking place at exactly the same time, all the time) is always doing everything they have ever done and will ever do. I hope you see why I love them so much now.

I want my body to be a Tralfamadorian book of tattoos, scars, and random marks I collect over my lifetime (like stretch marks and cellulite, which I am deeply in love with). I have that wonderful stick-and-poke heart directly over my heart, I have butterflies whose meaning warrants written words of this length just by themselves, and I want a shit ton more. I want a dragon on my right side, climbing up me, mostly because I think it would look sick as fuck. I want bees on my torso, because I love the Earth. I want Be Kind in gothic font on my clavicle. I want an airplane flying around my left thigh and leaving a smoke trail because I love flying (I have my pilot’s certificate). I want a frog dressed up as a barista on my left arm, and my husband wants one dressed up as a mechanic (or whatever career path I end up on by the time we move off together) on his right arm, so they can kiss when we lean up next to each other. I want a hundred more little things, all wrapped in flowering vines. On the areas where a chest compression binder and a nice pair of boxers sit on me, I want it all in color with a stark line of contrast. None of this would be much of a story by itself, but it shows off the work in progress of a fully formed being who contains multitudes when you put it together. And it still isn't even the full story of me! Shit is as hard to put into pictures as it is to put into words, especially for someone who can't draw (like me).

In essence, there is no one word for me. I feel the same about the people that I am close to. Saying their names and people saying my name feels like just a description, an almost arbitrary value assigned to them either by the world or themselves. An approximation. As someone who dabbles in linguistics I find it so deeply fascinating how hard we try to contain such multitudes into a very small collection of letters and how short we inevitably fall most times.

I recently wanted to explain this feeling of detachment from my name to my husband. In fact, I had to. It was important to me that he understood this because hearing my name in deeply intimate moments can be off putting, and I wanted him to know why I react a certain way to that so that we could take away the cause and attack the root of the problem together. I explained that terms of endearment are fine, wonderful even. I know that when he calls me honey, love, devil, cutie, or other similar things, there is never an attempt to grasp at and contain in one word something that cannot be explained in one million words. Even hearing him call me “my fable, my story” is cheesy and joyful rather than disconcerting because it reflects a part of him (the adorable part) rather than who I am and what I am. I feel that a name can be objectifying and reductive if used in a way that tries to capture and define the entirety of someone. I have realized this especially with having a noun for a name, a fun little state of being that I like to call “entirely my fault, and yet wonderful in its own ways.” I have come to enjoy the concept that one of my friends rocks with of having people call them “whatever, as long as you don’t call me late to dinner.” Because what the fuck IS in a name? Multitudes. But what is in a person? An infinite number of multitudes. Fuck yeah.

To speak on love again, I feel that there are as many words for love as there are names of people that you love. And of course, I have already discussed how many names we could put to a single part of a person, much less the person themselves. I have also become more comfortable with the concept of labeling romantic love as such after realizing that I can choose when or if I want to do so. I have free will! Insane. My relationship with my husband helped with this as we went from being friends who were physically involved but neither of us ready for a relationship to being boyfriends over the course of a few months. The moment he asked me out, I put that concept of romantic love back into the air. Whatever way I feel about other people, I know for a fact that I want to be with him, so I decided (pretty recently actually) that that could be my way of defining when my love for someone was romantic: if I want to be with them. in a romantic relationship. seems obvious when I think about it now but it wasn't at all a few months ago.

I have heard people talk about detachment from their names before, but this has always been phrased as a temporary condition which will end as soon as they find the “perfect” name. For me, I know that that perfection does not exist. I know that if I truly had a name that put all of me into one word, this would never be a word that we as humans could speak. We could try and contort our tongues, but we simply couldn’t make the sound. To hear it would melt our brains. To read it would make us go blind.

But I know that I taste it. When I kiss my husband, I can feel what I am, what he is, the separate thing of what we are together. None of it makes sense to say in any mortal language, but I think that that is what makes it beautiful. The fact that it is infallible and untouchable. My husband will never be able to describe exactly who I am because the words do not exist. I think he might know, though, through the countless times he’s seen me in tears over the feeling of his skin and the warmth of being together. Maybe he just knows the person that I am when we are together, it is possible that that’s different from the person I am when we are apart, whether that is intentional or not. If I am different when apart from him, I surely don’t know, and I know that there are multitudes to him that I could not even imagine, the byproduct of him just being a more private person than I am though he would readily answer any question any questions about himself I could pose to him (the problem being that in the infinite abyss of questions, I'd rather just witness the parts of himself that he has offered up. I also can't even fathom the questions I would ask, which obviously presents a problem if I wanted to ask them). The point is that we know enough of each other to know that we are incredibly happy together and to know that we could never find a true name, at least for me, even with all the letters in every alphabet that exists.

Please accept my humble offering unto a conversation that, as far as I know, does not exist beyond the bits of it I have had with my husband and two dear friends. I hope you find the same wonderful sense of being lost in it as I did, and I hope you find joy in knowing yourself however you do.

[humansun]

SUCCESSFUL BRAIN DRAIN!

Written Friday, August 11th, 2023 at 4:23AM

Good morning! Hello brain drain. I have plenty to write about today.

A few thoughts are:

Tanya + another aunt’s birthday is coming up, sweet!

There’s a million things running through my mind this morning

How do humans handle having so much stimuli in their life and head?

I was just thinking of something but it left me

Oh yeah sleeping an adequate amount of time every night actually affects my day and mood completely

Getting out of bullet points for a second to retrieve myself. I had an ample amount of sleep last night and I feel for the most part, very recovered from an exhausting day yesterday. Working out on less than 6 hours of sleep does not work for me and I have to accept that if I sleep late, I won’t be working out at 5am, because I won’t even put in my best for the workout. Plus, I’m lucky enough to have Fuzzy’s place as a backup gym!

Some thoughts that came into my mind this morning and crystallized in my mind was whether I genuinely like the person my partner is. The answer after all that thinking is yes, because he is a kind, integrity-based, and considerate human being, that cares about me and the people around him. 

As for the other traits that I’m not the hugest fan about - him sometimes being on his phone for long periods of time, his downtime is watching TV, his mealtimes are watching TV, he doesn’t really enjoy going to museums as much as I do, and he’s a super duper homebody. There are pros and cons to all of these traits like I get to be the person who travels while he holds down the house or something, but at the same time it would be nice to be with someone who’s on the same page about deep convos, living life relentlessly, etc.

However, I also recognize that he’s a Ravenclaw, and for that I am grateful. There are many traits he has that I don’t have, and the love he gives me is beyond what I could ever ask any human being for. I am hoping we grow together and build a world that makes us both happy and excited to continue to live and be great humans!

These mosquito bites and/or eczema are killing me! I don’t have enough self-control to not scratch. Anyways, that’s a little bit of what I was thinking about lately. Oh! I had LinkedIn Learning for the past month and didn’t use it except for 1 ⅓ of courses and now I am regretting my time not using it, since there was a lot of free information in there that would cost me $20 a month.

I guess it’s not the end of the world to pay $20 for usable knowledge, but it’s okay because I can potentially finesse to get that education somewhere else! I also am so proud that I’m now spreading my awareness of high-yields savings accounts with my friends and family. Let’s go! Let’s grow our moneys!

I’m really grateful I get to spend time with people that I love whether in the household, in my workplace, in my daily life, etc. I’m determined to continue to find ways to make my life sustainable because I deserve to live a colorful life, I do.

Jesus, there were a million and one things I was thinking about but now they all fled my mind. I guess another thing is my creative practice at this moment. It looks like its off as I’m applying to some programs that require written application materials, so I’m only exerting my energy towards that direction adn not necessarily towards storytelling or character building. I’m not going to lie, my life does feel a bit empty not practicing those things and I want to figure out how I can do it a little bit everyday.

Living a logistics filled life honestly feels boring, and I never thought I’d say this after years of doing logistics work in all of my event management jobs. I’m proud to have come this far and I wouldn’t be sure I’d think these thoughts had I not quit my normal 9-5 and questioned my life a little harder. I know I took a leap and it comes with its own challenges, but learning how to invest in myself time and energy wise is something I wouldn’t take back for the world.

At this time, perhaps I’m not the most financially free person in the world, but I’m also deeply aware that I want to live a normal person life and do normal people things like take vacations throughout the year and have trips to look forward to. I’ve never spent more than probably $500 on one person, but I’m learning that there is a gift of giving and surprising someone you love with something they would appreciate immensely.

Speaking of someone that I love, back on the topic of my partner because it’s important. He got a health screening and his health is alright, but I can’t help but think that I want my partner to take care of their own health so it doesn’t become a burden on me. I believe I could be thinking this way because I take my mom to the doctor pretty often and I almost feel like I’m parenting her.

I wouldn’t be parenting my partner, because obviously, he could handle his own doctor’s appointments, but in the case that anything sudden were to happen, I would take the grief and all the hits for another human’s lack of proactivity.

Perhaps its because I know how to take care of myself healthwise that I’m also projecting these feelings onto my partner. But - at the same time, my partner could also say the exact same about me and where I’m putting my money and how I’m not really working a full-time job, getting health benefits, etc. Thinking about the future is a really tough thing and how its going to pan out, but I’m hoping things continue to change in a way that is amazing and difficult and growth-oriented!

There were two things that were sitting in my mind yesterday that I wanted to massage out. The first one I’d say is how being grateful for people, even if what they do isn’t the greatest thing (to a certain extent, this thought) can be helpful. For example, my grandma’s crappy behavior may fuel a plotline in my story. Of course, I’m never grateful for the trauma we experience at all. But, I realized that all stories and characters experience conflict, and that conflict is usually inspired by our lives. It’s really interesting realizing that because it’s a very zoomed in thought.

Another thing, I was thinking about how there really is no way I can’t get to where I want to be when I’m this young, determined, excited, and pumped about what is to come in the future. There is no way I can’t. Especially if I keep trying. If I keep trying, then people will know about me, my path, and who I am. Even if I tried and things never worked out, something would eventually work out, even if it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be.

Like, I realized that I doubt myself alot and my work ethic and who I am. Like I think people hate me or dislike me, but I realized that a lot of people think I’m a cool cat and want to spend more time with me (although I don’t allow it because I’m busy and have a bajillion things to do). Realizing this gave me the confidence at least for yesterday to keep moving through and knowing that at some point all of this would pay off. Like there would be fruit to my labor. And I’m not super confident that I have faith, but I’m confident based on my experience, who I am, what I do to make people feel what they feel, etc.

I have a huge desire to use my Knott’s season pass like crazy right now. I think because when Fall and Winter come, it’ll cool down, and I’ll be able to go as often without worrying about the heat, and also to get our money’s worth! For some reason, I feel like we didn’t go that much this year and that bothers me. Why did they put time restrictions and meal limits to the season pass meal options? Why! It would be such a steal to come in and out without buying any food for a whole year - I could just sit there and do my work while eating some good junk!

Calorie deficit update - dude. The weight fluctuation is insane. Maybe 1270 or whatever the number is supposed to be is way too crazy for me. I still was able to weigh 129 about two times this week, which is surely a good sign. But I’m not entirely sure about how the progress will pan out for the rest of this month. Regardless, I’m proud of myself and think I’ve come very far since starting! Hopefully, I don’t burn out later.

Mom. She’s doing good. There is no point in my life that I am not grateful for her. Even if I’m mad, crying, or frustrated, I still feel grateful or her and I love her very, very much. Grandma is a different story but I still love her. It’s a lot of weight I’m holding, but I am happy to help as much as I can, even if I get mad.

The Artist’s Way is a next level book. It’s like reading a introductory wall text in an art museum that I’ve been waiting to go to for a long time. And I’m finally here, and I’m savoring every word. I think I could feel the intentionality that went behind this book and I feel that if there is a significant amount of intention behind any creative project, that viewers and people will recognize and relate to that intention. Jeez, finding intention behind all of my own projects is difficult. Even formatting a screenplay without the appropriate tools is hard too.

At the end of the day, I still feel like I’m at the very beginning of perfecting my craft and I’m okay with that. I think I’m okay because I got started and starting on anything is better than not starting at all. I’m curious to know if I could shoot something next week. That would be really fun! It’s really easy for me to get distracted when I type on the laptop, but I think using a bit of mindfulness and discipline will make it work.

Last thing, (wow, morning pages really work. I just want to keep writing because I keep thinking about things!) mindfulness was another thing that was sitting in my mind that I really am grateful for. Mindfulness keeps me grateful, in control, happy, content, etc in my life and without it, I think we would all go a little crazy. To spend more of my life being mindful means I will be living a more rich and happy life. Wow, so many things I wrote about today and I finally let out my brain drain. That was fun and I’m definitely coming back for more! 

P.S. Waking up at 4am is incredible because of the silence in the house and I highly recommend it to myself and others.