#so i Keep them Speaking like I KNOW i’m holding u hostage & U know ur being held hostage but are U going to try to flee ?

[bibleofficial]

LMFAOOOOO my uni sending me emails saying ‘u owe us money today’ like ms. thing, ring the gov ‼️

[theuniverseawakens347]

You gotta be fucking kidding me. You paid ppl off to not say anything and then got Malcom and Alissa and Ian and julian and CASY to hack their accounts to take back the money put it in an account for me these last..til January and then act like nothing ever happend and I all of a sudden get married to Tristan’s and start my new life … and then basel pressed a lawsuit on her and Therese bc their accounts got drained by those dummies up there Alissa siae Malcom and Ian McDowell can ATest w Julian Harrell for crypto.. whatever day I wrote about her trying to “help me get my life together while AGAIN sending me mental warfar” and I went to the psych to talk and relieve my head …that’s the day basel called her WITH EVIDENCE and she DIDNT say anything to Howard.

And then the day I came over talking about I’m on 5 spiritual retreats they all lead to ONE PERSON ONLY AND OUR FAMILY BEING TIED TOGETHER AND KNOWING OUR SPIRITUAL TRUTH.. TRISTAN❤️❤️ ..THATS the day she then what …wanted to admit the bullshit to me but then found ways to further gas light me about what my ex’s had done and then build a case in HER HEAD why I was unfit STOOPID excetera to think neffi would come back bc Daniel said she attacked his dog and he had to put her down per Lee request …so then decided fuck I gotta build a FAKE MENTAL CASE ON CASHAY SO SHE DOESNT KNOW HER FAVORITE THING NEXT TO TRISTAN IN THE WORLD IS DEAD 🤯 bruh u gotta be so fucking for real. THIS WHAT I BEEN LIVING W?? Then put the fucking crazy rollercoaster of bullshit on me …cause what I put on the blog about AFTER THE PLAY OF 44 THANK I BRODY FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH TO ME THRU VIDEO CLIPS OF OUR ACTUAL HISTORY… 👽tology ..hit me with a “wise words of wisdom” the VERY NEXT MORNING AFTER READING MY BLOG WHILE DOING MY HAIR …then watched law abiding citizen knowing that was going to be her truth ..and the fucking psycho nurse my truth 🤯🤯🖕🏽🙂 ..reverse that. The right ones get it .. basically admit THRU MOVIES THIS SHIT IS REAL AND IM ADVENGING MY OWN FUCKING FAMILY FOR THEIR MURDER OF MADS DESTRUCTION ON HER HANDS …and then something happened w Vivicca me admitting Tristan and I been talking TELLATHICALLY .. told her I had a message / package from him cause she was suppose to turn me over to him by then and didn’t decided to send me to Vivicca to let someone else care for me while she cleaned up her fucking mess.. but me saying me n Tristan been in communication and HOWARD backing her up saying no you had not just what ..fuel for more fuck shit to prove I’m crazy and she’s sane 🤯🙂🖕🏽 that’s retarded as fuck Lee. I CLEARLY FUCKING KNOW / KNEW. And ur FURTHER helping me prove EVERYTHING I OUT ON THIS BLOG. Alissa morris did some fuck shit to Lee garlington and wants to get back at her…they in a weird tit for tat …Alissa got her government official computer breaking into our house and Alissa did all the nudes to the White House the day vivcca and I came over to speak to her and Howard ABOUT THE INDUSTRY TRACKING / SHIT BOYFRIENDS that came by way cause Lee + Alissa fucked all of them ..so ur telling me Alissa is a miniature terrorist w Aja and they’re getting back at u w Tony .. THIS AINT TRUE AT ALL U LYING ASS SHIT. U PAID THEM OFF TO DO THAT DUMB SHIT W MALCOM AND THEY ALL TOOK PARRT AND IAN WAS THERE TO KNOW THAT U THREATENED THEM ALL W BIG MURDR CHARGES OF PAST MURDSERS .. like wtf kind sense does that make Lee . UR A REALLY WDIRD FUCKING PERSON IN THE HEAD AND UR STILK HOLDING ME HOSTAGE BC U LEGITIMATELY WANT TO KILL ME OUT OF THE FACT THt u WONT BE THE LFIRST LADY IE KAMALA HARDIS .. sorry fucking the spelling. This sooooo childish u gotta be fucking kidding me … and yall nighas say i got adult issue ain’t no fucking way this what’s been going on in ur brain and u just been keeping cool.. or this bitch real life lost her rockers when I started awakening the first day she seen me at st Francis psychward .. the condition in which I was in.. this bitch really made At herself for failing as a fucking mother when she worked sooooo hard to prove she’s a good mother .. like what was the point of the planned breakin .. that’s what happens when u don’t know pol in yo circle .. u got extra weirdo ppl around u looking for a hand out u gon say someone Ian took over and did things his way to prove I’m not fucking crazy and ur a shitty ass fucking mom because nighas been watching this blog and watching me on my fucking growth ..so u know Howard paid these ppl off to stop the fuck shit but nighas h4_eazy still did the weird shit and stole my laptop til Ian told him put it back then stole Howards.. that had child pornography on it of me as a minor .. ALISSA IR FUCKING WEIRD U TEO CONSPIRING RN W MALCOM AND NICKI HOW GO GET OUT OF THIS SHIT INSTEAD OF ADMITTING YAL ON WEIRD SHIT .. as pissed off and upset as I am w Howard rn Zfor not STANDING ..

[thalergetic]

I loved ur Spiderman au i was hoping if u could do another one. No pressure tho

ask..... and you shall receive

(link to part one)

Wind whipped by Adora as she swung her way through Manhattan. She was sure her grin would be visible even though the mask, and Catra’s voice crackling over the comms unit in her ear — which, at the moment, was a souped-up version of a Bluetooth headset — only made it widen.

“Alright, take a left here,” Catra said. There was a rustling in Adora’s ear as she flipped the pages of what sounded like a map. “And then a right two blocks down.”

“You know,” Adora started, sending a web across the street with a thwip, “if I end up at the wrong location again, it’s gonna be really embarrassing for me.”

Catra huffed, setting down the map. Adora could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “It’s not the wrong location. That was one time.”

It had been a few months of this new arrangement, and honestly, Adora had never been more comfortable in her superhero life.

Having Catra on the line was... new. It was nice, in a way— it meant Adora could worry less about finding the grocery store being robbed and more about taking care of the robbers.

The cops still didn’t like her, but that wasn’t a surprise. Catra was helping her with that, too. She’d been able to fix Adora’s suit, help her design a better one, and overlay a police scanner frequency.

In other words, she was the reason Adora had stayed alive for as long as she had.

Catra knew basic first aid, as she’d told Adora once after a particularly grueling hostage scenario that she’d taken a class after finding out her secret.

As soon as Adora made it to the site of the robbery, she got the feeling she’d probably need it.

There were many reasons for this. One, there were several of them and one of her, and she’d never been very optimistic. Two, she was still in recovery from three weeks of injuries, and between stopping crimes and studying for her finals, she was spread pretty thin.

Three, they had guns. Big guns.

Adora released the web she’d been swinging on with another thwip, and landed gracefully on a nearby lamppost. She dropped into an easy squat, eyes flicking around the scene ahead.

“Alright,” She said, squinting a little. “So I’m seeing four— no, five guys. Three are armed.”

“And the other two?” Catra asked. There was a thin vein of concern in her voice.

It almost made Adora smile. It was sweet: Catra always got nervous when she was about to fight people. “The other two aren’t gonna be a problem.”

“That’s what you said during the last robbery,” Catra said, trying very hard not to let her worry show. “I almost had to call an ambulance.”

It was an exaggeration, but... not by much. Adora hadn’t quite gotten out of the way of a knife, and was still healing a nasty scar on her lower abdomen.

Adora winced at the memory, pressing her fingertips to it. “Well, it won’t happen tonight.”

Catra was quiet for a second. “Cops are on their way already, Spidey. I... I dunno. I have a bad feeling about this one.” She sighed. “Look, don’t get yourself killed. Alright?”

“Who, me?” Adora asked, standing up. “Never.”

If Catra responded, Adora didn’t hear it as she leapt off the lamppost. In an almost graceful move she’d been practicing for years, she landed feet-first on the back of the nearest robber.

For obvious reasons, it took him by surprise. He was knocked flat under her. She fired two webs in quick succession, pinning both him and his gun to the concrete.

Adora couldn’t resist a little quip. It was kind of her thing, after all. “Oh, sorry,” She said, dusting gloved hands off. “Hate to break it to you, but Mom said it’s my turn with the gun.”

The action seemed to get the attention of the other two (unarmed) goons. Adora thought idly that they really should’ve known better by now. She’d been Spider-Man for almost five years now, after all.

“Guys, come on,” She said, dodging a poorly-timed punch easily and countering with one of her own. “Taking on a superhero unarmed? Really? I mean, you could’ve at least brought a knife. I’m—I’m hurt. Really, I am.”

She made short work of them, and had them lying flat and webbed to the ground moments later. When the click of a pistol sounded behind her, Adora let out a sigh. “Really? Already?”

She turned to see the remaining two men pointing their guns at her.

“Easy, fellas,” Adora said, eyes lingering on the barrel of the shotgun trained on her. “Put those down. We can talk this out—”

“You think we’re that stupid?” The one holding the shotgun interrupted. He shook his head. “No stalling. We know the cops are already on their way.”

They weren’t holding any jewelry, Adora realized. She put her hands up slowly, frowning under her mask. “You guys are pretty terrible robbers,” She said carefully. “Kind of counterintuitive to break into a jewelry store and not steal anything.”

“I’m sure it would be,” Pistol Guy said, lips curling into a sneer, “if that was the reason we did it.”

Adora swallowed. “Well, don’t leave me hanging,” She said, eyes flicking between the two of them. There was a gnawing ache of dread welling up in the pit of her stomach. “What was the reason?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Shotgun said. “Gettin’ rid of you.” He raised the barrel up again. “Kingpin sends his regards.”

Catra’s voice crackled suddenly over the comms unit. “Shit, fuck— Adora, get out of there—”

Whatever she said next was muffled by the sound of a gunshot.

Adora tried as best as she could to duck under it, but even she wasn’t quite fast enough to dodge.

The force of a bullet lodging firmly in her stomach sent her staggering back until she nearly tripped over the prone body of one of the other men she’d taken out.

Her blood was pounding in her ears, and even though Adora was faintly aware of Catra yelling high and terrified through her comms, all she could focus on was the blood.

For a second, she was just grateful the suit was red.

She didn’t wait for the second gunman to shoot before she sent up a web and tried her best to swing away.

Moments later, she found herself collapsing in the alleyway across from her apartment building.

Adora finally allowed herself to focus Catra desperately calling her name over the comms unit. “Adora? Adora, please come in, I—”

“I’m here,” Adora rasped. She coughed, feeling blood come up in her mouth, and lifted up to take off her mask before she spat it out onto the concrete. “Jus’ resting. I tried to get as close as I could to the apartment.”

“Are you hurt? A-Are you injured at all?”

Adora looked down at the tears in her suit. “Uh... yeah. I-I didn’t dodge that one.”

“Fuck,” Catra breathed. “I-I have your location. I’m on my way. Just— fuck, Adora, keep pressure on it. Don’t you dare leave me.”

“Ha,” Adora laughed weakly. She winced as she put a gentle pressure on her abdomen. “You care about me.”

She heard Catra let out a wet, half-sob of a laugh. “Idiot. Of course I do. You—” Catra cut herself off. “I’ll tell you when I get there.”

“That sounds nice,” Adora said, blinking away the sleep at the corners of her vision. “I like your voice.”

There was movement on Catra’s end, followed by the sound of wind rushing as she ran. Seconds later, she slid to a stop at one end of the alley, and nearly dropped her phone at the sight of Adora slumped against the wall.

“Hi,” Adora said. She lifted a trembling hand to wave.

Catra’s expression shifted between horror, fear, and nausea. “Stay still,” She said, voice trembling. “You’re gonna be okay. Glimmer is a med student, right? You told me once that she—she lives in the apartment across from you.”

Adora found it hard to speak through the blood in her mouth, and gave a weak nod.

“I’m calling her,” Catra said, already typing a number furiously into her phone. She could tell Adora was starting to lose consciousness.

Catra put a hand on her cheek, trying to shake her back awake. “Adora? Adora, listen to me,” She said frantically, shaking harder. “Hey. Stay with me until Glimmer gets here.”

“Hey, I really like you,” Adora slurred. “Jus’ saying. If I don’t get a chance to tell you later, I want you to know—”

“If you do tell me later, I’ll let you kiss me.” Catra’s eyes were red from crying, and she gave her best attempt at a watery smile. “Because I really like you too. So stay with me,” She pleaded, barely above a whisper. “Can you do that?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, wincing as she shifted to sit up straighter against the brick. “Yeah. I’ll stay.”

[hobiiwan]

the five times you catch him staring;

the one you do something about it

⇒ pairing: the mandalorian x reader

⇒ summary: the five times you catch him staring and the one time you do something about it ( 2/6 )

⇒ warnings: none? baby yoda doesn’t count at this point

⇒ notes: it’s exam season. guess who’s going thru it? me

part one part three

the second time you notice him staring, you can’t help but hate him a little

punches are thrown; perhaps you’re a little beat up

the mandalorian’s got you pinned down with your head pressed into the grimy floor

you grimace under your mask

no amount of cleaning will get the stench of that mystery liquid off your armour anytime soon

“at least take me to dinner first,” you mutter under your breath

he hears you, of course

you ignore the snort let out from his moderator; you’re too busy assessing the situation

if you head-butt him hard enough, you could probably run for it

but you really wanna know why there’s a bounty out on you

danG it reader this is a matteR of LIFE OR DEATH

you stop struggling, figuring you’d have a better chance of getting away while you’re on your feet, getting hauled to his ship

than with the weight of his body anD fancy beskar armour

turns out reader, you were wrong

it’s much, much harder to book it when the entire market parts like the red sea at the sight of the mandalorian

there’s nowhere to hide, and definitely no chance to run with the iron grip on your forearm and the cuffs he had so graciously slapped on your wrists

that’s how you end up on his ship

a hunk of jUnk if you dare say so yourself

he’s in the cockpit and you’re on the floor behind him

glaring a hole into the back of his helmet

there are a few fishy things about the situation, you notice

exhibit a: he has yet to freeze you in carbonite

it’s basically a ritual for bounty hunters; it makes the transaction easier when there’s less begging involved

exhibit b: he lets you sit behind him with nO supervision (that you know of)

a giant red flag– bounty hunters alwaYs keep an eye on their asset

exhibit c: you’re pretty sure the cuffs aren’t even on

you know it’s not accidental

he’s a mandalorian, for crying out loud

therefoRe, you come to the conclusion that either this is the world’s worst bounty hunter (boy are you wrong)

oR there’s something that you’re missing

you’re about to ask when he brings the ship into hyperspace and stands straight above you

he doesn’t speak

for a long time

almost uncomfortably long

like he’s having a conversation with himself in his head

all he does is stare straight at you with that damned soulless helmet

it’s mildly infuriating

is there something on your face? is it your hair???

reader, you have a helmet; you’re finE

so what do you do?

staRe back of course

it’s the only reasonable course of action

you decide you hate him just a little

your forearm still aches from where he practically dragged you onto his ship

if it’s bruised, ur suing

fed up, you finally ask,

“so are you going to talk or am i supposed to just know what you want from me?”

you hold your breath, hoping he doesn’t snap back into action and decide to actually freeze you

the mandalorian clears his throat and quickly brings out a hologram of another man

“what do you know about this man?”

the hologram is of your most despised client you’ve ever served

honestly, you’re not even surprised he’s the one that set the bounty

he was one shady twerp

“what about him?” you counter

he’S not the only one with questions

are you being a little difficult? yes

are you skating on thin ice here? yes again

do you enjoy ticking off a mandalorian? a little too much

you should probably co-operate, though that wouldn’t be very cash-money of you

“i won’t ask again.” the mandalorian sighs, gloved fingers pulling out the puck assigned to you

yuP that’s your face alright

with a defeated puff of breath, you relent

“i may or may not have messed up on one of his assignments, a while ago.”

you can easily tell he isn’t satisfied with your answer

you can’t even see his expression, but you know he’s deadpanning you

“what do you want me to say?” you huff, “he wanted me to bring in a chiLd. i’m a bounty hunter, not a monster,”

“so maybE I hid the tiny thing; sue me.”

when the mandalorian stills, so do you

you curse yourself for saying too much; you’re in for it now

but theN

by the will of the maker and all the gods of the distant universes

you hear a baby’s babble

both you and the mandalorian’s attention snaps to the source of the sound—the tiny bundle waddling into the cockpit

“you mean this tiny thing?”

“baby!!!” your eyes light up at the sight of those big, all-seeing, all-knowing, sparkly eyes

you cannoT believe the asset you risked your entire career and life for is right here on this uterus-looking junk ship with you

it was so worth it

those days you spent with the child after you made the wracking decision to not turn in the bounty were the most fun you’d had in a while

it had a surprising way of keeping you entertained

the baby grew on you okay

you’re supposed to be a scary bounty hunter, held hostage on another scary bounty hunter’s rubbish ship

and yet here you are, cradling a child in between your cuffed arms without a care in the world

priorities, amirite reader

the bigger, scarier bounty hunter clears his throat expectantly

which brings you back to your current situation

what a buzzkill

“don’t tell me you’re giving him up, because i will fight you.” you threaten, arms tightening around the child protectively, who cooes in response and wraps its fingers around a lock of your hair

who does this mando think he is??? handing over a baby for money????

“i’m not,” the man sighs, “that’s why you’re not frozen in carbonite yet, genius.”

you blink; once, then twice

oH

“then what do you want from me? i don’t need your protection, mandalorian.” you prod, waving your cuffs in the air

“sure you don’t, but that’s not the point.”

exCUSE YOU, MANDALORIAN

you scoff, but he cuts you off before you get to protest

“he needs yours,” the bounty hunter states, “judging on how you’re both running from the same client.”

your head tilts as you ponder over what he says

mando thinks the action makes you look like a puppy

but u didn’t hear it from mE

“so what you’re saying is,” you begin, slowly, “you’re offering to be my partner.”

the waY HE CHOKES

“that is noT what I said.”

you shake your head, “yeah, you know, all i’m hearing is ‘will you co-parent this space child’,

“to which I humbly accept.”

now it’s mando’s turn to blank

what just happened

what did he juST WALK INTO

did you just somehow invite yourself to be his partner???

uM

“i don’t know about you, but if this whole space-mom-and-dad thing is gonna work, i’m gonna need my hands.”

he groans, running a gloved hand over his helmet

he can’t believe he’s agreeing to this, but with the luck he’s had, he’s going to need all the help he can get with the Child

he can only pray you’re better with kids than he is

finally, he gives in

with a a defeated sigh, he swivels away from you on his pilot seat

“just take them off. you already know they weren’t activated.”

you grin, revelling in the feeling of liberated wrists

“cheer up, mando. this is going to be fun.”

[donttellthemangosiwashere]

Guess who watched Frozen2 yesterday and is back on her AU Juice

ok get this, using thomas’s rewrite for Frozen 1 but also 

you know that theory where Hans is like,,,, a chill dude, and the rock trolls are the evil ones and mind-controlled him into fuckin shit up so Christof would become king? also that

Spoilers for Frozen 2 so,,,, be wary

Virgil is Elsa 

Paranoid shut-in, afraid of scary ice powers, convinced himself he’s perfectly comfortable with being alone forever. Distrusts Dee immediately because he can sense the presence of magic in him, but he doesn’t know that’s what it is at first

Patton is Ana 

Emotionally volatile, quick to trust/immediately assumes the best in people, bit of a hopeless romantic

Roman is Christof 

Agrees to help Patton because “ur a prince, I cant let you do this alone it’s not noble of me to leave u hanging like that”

Remus is Roman’s funky twin brother who would rather just continue being a rock troll honestly

Kinda functions as Sven/Olaf/comic relief buddy character but they also DO have an Olaf and a reindeer steed to pull the wagon. He's hanging out with Patton and Roman during most of the movie

Deceit is Hans

Actually a prince from another country who’s like an ok dude and does grow fond of Patton immediately after meeting him, not evil until later

Logan is the head guard/politician guy with the big nose that was their advisor/guardian after their parents died, you know the guy

He's gonna be much more important in the story. He mostly tails Dee and slowly figures out that there’s something weird about him towards the end, and tries to protect Virgil and Patton from him. He cares about them so much, but he’s bad with emotions, so he’s not great at helping Patton with his loneliness or helping Virgil with his anxiety. Even when the rest of the kingdom starts to turn against them, he never doubts that Virgil is good

Character Thomas is Olaf because that’s cute as hell

He’s an embodiment of Virgil’s love for and protectiveness over Patton, but the longer he exists, the more he starts to develop his own personality and traits based on who he spends time with? So eventually Logan, Roman, Remus, Deceit, and Patton all become a part of him too, and he’s their little amalgamation snow son

(plot stuff under the cut. be warned, i put waaaay too much goddamn thought into this)

Ok so most of the first movie happens as normal. Thomas is just a lovable little anxious snow boy who walks around and dotes over and protects Patton, Reindeer is just a regular animal, Virgil runs away after a freakout, Patton goes to find him, etc etc etc

But when Hans is on the road in the first movie (when him and some soldiers have just captured Virgil from his ice castle and are marching back to the kingdom) their caravan is jumped by the rock trolls. Virgil doesn’t know whats going on cause he’s trapped in a carriage with no windows, but the rock trolls lure Dee away and then do the evil magic thing, they puppet him from then on to imprison Virgil and refuse to kiss Patton.

Roman and Remus drop Patton off and return to the woods, right? Roman’s being all reluctant about it, and Remus is like “im sure he still wants to be ur friend bro, it doesnt matter that he’s a prince and we’re common, you KNOW he doesnt care about all that” but Roman is not convinced, says he’ll ‘think about it’. They return to the rock trolls, and Remus sees the shaman in the process of puppeting Dee, in the “if only there was someone who loved you” scene where Patton is clearly dying. Remus runs to tell Roman what’s really happening, and they get caught. Roman stays behind to fight off the other rock trolls, buying Roman time to race towards the castle and save the brothers

The “if only there was someone who loved you” scene is different, tho. First of all, Dee doesn’t say that. He (and the shaman) are too smart to give up the bit until they are SURE they’ve won. Dee refuses to kiss Patton, but in like a soft way. (Got this scene from my friend Nat on discord, one of the reasons i made this au at all, its fucking KILLER) It’s more like a 

“i mean yes im fond of you but I don’t love you??? We just met” “but you proposed!” “We’re princes, looking for love in marriage is an idea I abandoned a long time ago. I figured I could at least make you happy, and an alliance between our kingdoms would be favorable.” “Oh...” “I could see myself falling in love with you, Patton, i mean that. But right now... If I could break the curse, I would. I’m deeply sorry.... Is there anything I can do to keep you warm?“ “No, there’s nothing...” “How dare your bother turn his magic against you? First he freezes the kingdom, then that golem, then he curses his own brother? (he does a whole schpeil where he convinces an emotionally broken and shellshocked Patton that Virgil is actually like evil and bad) ...Sit here, I will get you some blankets.” (Again, quote @glorifiedpigeon! She wrote a whole scene like this with Dee as Hans and Roman as Elsa, its bonkers as hell!! So good!)

While he’s gone “getting blankets” (Dee’s really just gonna leave him to freeze) Thomas sneaks in, and starts up a fire. Patton tells him not to do that cause he’ll melt, and he’s like “some people are worth melting for.” Thomas can tell Patton he’s upset and they talk about Virgil and how Patton doesn’t know what to think anymore. Thomas melts while keeping the fire warm for Patton, his sacrifice breaks the cold-poison-curse-thing and Patton is saved. The conversation Patton has with Thomas while he’s dying is weirdly familiar, and Patton realizes that it’s a 1 to 1 of a conversation him and Virgil had when they found out there parents died, when Virgil promised to “protect you no matter what, i love you.” Patton realizes Thomas was just a representation of Virgil’s brotherly love for him, which is cute as fuck, and then he goes to save his brother.

Virgil is visited by Logan, who busts him out of his cell, telling him he never doubted him for a second, but he’s wary of Dee. They run away together, panning to go out and find Patton and finally talk everything out. Dee reaches them, and calls Logan a traitor to the crown for helping Virgil escape, insisting that the fact that they are running away proves Virgil’s guilt. Logan tells Virgil to stay calm and keep a hold on his powers, and goes to confront Dee alone. Dee twists Logan’s words and just makes them sound more suspicious, eventually whacking Logan with the handle of his sword and knocking him out. Virgil is enraged, and attacks Dee. He almost kills him, but then Roman arrives, and stops Virgil from landing a killing blow. He’s about to explain what’s happening, and that Dee can still be saved and it’s not his fault, but Dee (with the rock troll magic being channeled through him) Silences Roman with a spell, so he cant speak. 

At the moment, Virgil is scared, distressed, and kinda cornered since he refuses to leave Logan’s unconscious body, and Virgil has no reason to trust Roman. All Roman knows about Virgil is that he’s wicked powerful and volatile, and he knows he can’t let Hans kill Virgil. This leads to the three of them all fighting each other 1v1v1, Hans trying to kill Roman and Virgil, Virgil trying to fend off Hans and Roman, and Roman trying to keep ether of the other two from killing each other while protecting himself.

Patton finally reaches them, and sees Roman knocked out and trapped in ice, incapacitated by Virgil, and Virgil is doin some ice magic at Dee, about to kill him, or at least wound him, to escape. Patton protects Dee, and is like “Yo no wait Virgil, you both have the wrong idea! He’s just scared of you, he’s not bad!” And Roman really wants to say “He IS bad but not in the way you think!”, but he’s still silenced. Virgil’s like “uh yeah he IS bad, look at what he did to Logan!” 

Finally, Remus catches up. He runs in from behind Dee and Patton, so they don’t see him approach until he yells to them about the trolls and whats actually going on. While they’re all distracted, Dee attacks Patton, holding him at knife-point and using him as a hostage to get Virgil to stop with the magics.

How is this fight resolved? Fuck if I know, I kinda wrote myself into a corner lmao. They are somehow able to incapacitate/trick dee, and Virgil uses his magic to override the trolls and free him from the mind-control.

And, at the end, there’s this cute little scene, after Patton is explaining everything that happened to Virgil and vice versa, where Patton’s like:

“Wait, wait! Can you resurrect Thomas??” and Virgil’s all snarky about it like “I dont know, wouldn’t that lessen the impact of his sacrifice? He’s like, a part of me, right? I think he’d like to go out all melancholy and poetic like that” “Virgil oh my goodness if you dont bring back my little snowman buddy I will cry here and now” “Okay, okay, jeez”

HERE IS WHERE THE SECOND MOVIE COMES IN

pretty much the only thing that changes is this: you know the voice thing that Elsa just starts hearing out of nowhere as a sign to fix past wrongs and whatnot? Virgil only starts hearing them now BECAUSE the rock trolls were blocking the signal from reaching him. And, Dee comes with them on this adventure and kinda redeems himself over the course of the movie by being a cool dude. And, the grampa who did the betraying was ALSO controlled by the rock trolls way back when; the rock trolls have been trying to destabilize the magic for years so that they could siphon more of it away from the spirits for their own personal use, and they got greedy once they had humans (re and ro) to work with, wanting political power as well. (Dee has been staying with them in their kingdom, as the ambassador from his country or whatever)

And for all you Shippers out there

the ships for this could be literally anything, dude. like literally any combination works, go fucking hogwild. Doesn’t even have to have a romantic ship or anything, it could just be everyone being platonic lovely babies.

[meat-husband]

Hgdhsvd if it's ok could I request a continuation of the realistic bubba stuff? It's just so 👌👌👌 ur writing is hella gucci

This is so long, I’m sorry, but I even cut stuff out to make it work a little better lol. It’s like six pages in docs so hopefully it’s not too obnoxious without a cut!

This is part three, here is part one and part two! You don’t really need to have read them, but it might be a little confusing otherwise.

“Is this really necessary?”

Your words are muffled through the sweaty shirt that had been forced over your head, sleeves tied around your eyes to form a makeshift blindfold. The heat of the day at its height was already torturous on its own, but the smelly shirt was just a small addition to the list of bad things happening to you right now. The whole house seemed to have a musty, sour odor that even the old shirt didn’t filter out. You only get a loud cackle in response, and you’re not even entirely sure that it’s meant for you. 

“You realize that I already know where you live, right? Like, I’ve been here before,” you explain further, tilting in your seat to follow the noises around you. “So you don’t really need to cover my eyes.”

“D-don’t make no, no difference to m-me!”

He sounds almost excited about the kidnapping in progress, and you’re sure he’s got a big grin on his face right now. You want to argue the point, but it doesn’t seem worth it when the other party is clearly insane. 

“Where’s Bubba?”

The other brother had been less enthusiastic about your kidnapping, but had followed orders to get you into the truck nonetheless. And, okay, maybe you hadn’t exactly put up a fight when the big guy had scooped you up into his arms, but this was still a hostage situation. You couldn’t tell once the shirt had been put over your head, but you thought he seemed a little nervous about the whole thing, whining under his breath during the ride here. If you could get a moment alone, you had no doubt he’d be willing to untie you from the chair you had been dumped into. 

“Aw, y-you missin’ him already?” He laughs, and the noises stop for a moment before picking up again, louder than before. “He’ll be back soon!”

You frown under the shirt, but keep quiet. Admittedly, it was your silly crush on Bubba that had gotten you here, but this wasn’t exactly an expected outcome when you’d only been flirting a little. Maybe you had been a little forward, and he clearly wasn’t used to the attention, but you couldn’t stop yourself once he had actually shown up. You put this all down to whatever was very clearly wrong with the skinny one - when Drayton got back, you’d tell him off for sending the weirdo to your house instead of coming himself, and demand a ride home. You’d kick up a little bit of a fuss - he had waved a knife in your face, after all - but you figured the eldest brother’s wrath would be enough of a punishment without you adding to it. He had a bad temper on good days, so you were sure the anger was going to be biblical this time. 

Loud footsteps from across the house signal the arrival of someone else, probably Bubba, but you wait for some kind of sign before you get your hopes up. The sounds travel down the stairs, getting closer until you hear them enter the room, a high pitched whine letting you know that your guess was right. 

“D-don’t fuss!”

You hear shuffling, the sounds of shoes scraping the floor and something like fabric being ruffled. You have hope for a moment that they’re going to remove the old shirt covering your face, but the noises stay on the other side of the room and don’t get any closer. 

“Leave i-it alone,” the brother instructs, sounding the closest to normal that you’ve heard so far. “It l-looks fine.”

Bubba replies in a quiet whisper, the words not quite reaching you. You had never heard him say so much as a word before, and neither had anyone else so far as you knew, but this was definitely him speaking. 

“I, I said your face l-looks fine! Now, h-help pull that table over!”

You frown a little, wondering what in the hell they’re doing. You’re not sure what room of the house you’re in, but they didn’t take you up any steps after the porch so it was still on the first floor. Even though you’d come around once or twice, you had still never been inside the old farmhouse, so you couldn’t make a guess as to where you were. All the noise he’s been making so far hasn’t given you any idea about what’s happening either, other than the sound of furniture being pushed around and the small, clattering sounds of wood and metal. You listen to them moving things around for a moment, trying to figure out what’s going on. 

“O-Okay, go and g-get grandpa, we’re almost ready!”

Bubba seems eager to do this task, rushing off with loud, thudding footsteps back up the stairs. 

“Hey, uh,” you start, shifting a little in your uncomfortable seat. “If this is going to take much longer, can I get some water or something? It’s really hot in here.”

“Hush up!”

The snippy tone reminds you of Drayton, and you’re a little taken aback by how much they sound alike when they’re angry. A sudden pull on the back of your chair throws you off balance, the legs skidding over the floor as you’re dragged across the room. He turns you around and you rock in your seat, desperately trying to stay in it and not get dumped onto the floor. 

“You’d b-better behave when g-grandpa shows up, or he’ll get u-upset!”

You wonder briefly how they had managed to hide an entire member of the family, you had never heard of an old man living here with them, but you give him an agreeable nod. The sweat on your face is making the dirty shirt stick to your skin and you really can’t wait for Drayton to get home and put a stop to this. 

“Yeah, okay, best behavior, I got it.”

It’s not long before you hear Bubba returning, walking quickly and making soft noises under his breath. There’s the shuffling of something being moved around, both brothers across the room and fussing over whatever it is, before you hear another loud cackle. A hand on the back of your seat pulls you around again, this time not as far away but just as roughly, and you let out a loud, indignant squeal in surprise, drawing another laugh from the brother. 

“Aw, a-are you flirtin’ w-with my brother again?”

He makes a few pig-like squeals of his own, snorting into your ear. You’re grateful that they can’t see your red face, but you keep quiet despite the taunt. You’re definitely going to throw a fit about this when Drayton gets home now. You can hear Bubba making a drawn out huff, perhaps embarrassed by his brother’s teasing, and the thud of his boot on the floor as he stomps his feet. 

“L-let’s get this started, t-then!”

A rough tug on the shirt gets it halfway off your head, and you gulp down your first taste of air that hasn’t been filtered through the dirty fabric. It’s still hot and dusty, but you’re amazingly happy not to have the smell of sweat in your nose and mouth. A few more pulls and it’s finally free, your mussed hair now dirty and sticking to your face. You blink through the late evening sun, looking around quickly to take in where you are. 

You’re in the dining room by the looks of it, and it’s absolutely filthy. Dirt and dust are everywhere, stains on the baseboards and walls that stand out against the pale, chipping paint. The table has been pushed against the wall to make room for a handful of different chairs, all placed in disorganized rows facing one side of the room, where you sit tied to your chair. The one closest to you is piled with what looks like old clothes, a ratty floral dress sitting on top. It’s all very disconcerting, but you turn to look at the brothers with a scowl on your face nonetheless, ready to express your displeasure. Before you can start in on them, though, the brother steps in front of you, sliding up close and blocking your view of the rest of the room. 

“Hey!” He barks into your face, and you lean back even as he leans forward. “Y-you ain’t supposed to s-see the groom before the wedding!”

“The what?” 

You’re sure you’ve heard him wrong, but the big grin spreading across his face makes him look all too happy to see your confusion. Leaning to the side, you try to look around him, but he pulls your head back by a handful of hair. 

“I-, you can’t just… the what?”

“I heard you,” he starts, reaching into his pocket to bring out the knife. “You, you l-like him, I h-heard it.”

“Well, I mean-“

“S-so we’re makin’ a w-wedding!”

You hear Bubba chime in from behind him, a loud, howling cheer that his brother takes up as well, practically screaming into your face. He waves the knife around his head wildly, tugging on your hair and laughing. This has gotten out of hand real fast. Keeping your head pulled back by the hair, he turns to shout some directions at Bubba, shuffling in place as waits for them to be carried out. 

“Get g-grandpa in his seat, we’re a-almost ready! Put him n-next to grandma!”

“Okay, you can’t do this,” you hear Bubba hurry to follow his orders, moving things around somewhere on the other side of the room, then coming closer. “You can’t marry people if they’re not willing.”

The hard edge of the knife is against your cheek before you finish speaking, the hand holding it trembling with excitement. You jerk away, but there isn’t anywhere else to go, and the sting of it tells you it’s broken the skin. A warm line trickles down the side of your face and you have to stop yourself from hissing in pain when he grinds the flat of the blade over the wound. 

“Y-you like him,” he repeats, mouth twisting into a snarl. “You d-don’t, don’t wanna hurt h-his feelin’s, huh?”

“He’s cute, that doesn’t mean I want to marry him!”

“Y-you hear that, Bubba?” He calls over his shoulder loudly. “T-thinks you’re cute!”

Your face flushes red, half out of anger and half embarrassment, and you show your teeth in a snarl of your own. With a laugh he steps back, letting go of your hair and turning to survey the rest of the room. You finally catch a glimpse of Bubba, now changed into an ill-fitting suit that looks as dusty as the rest of the house, sleeves riding up his arms and clearly something that was passed down to him. His back is to you, bent over and messing with something, but when he steps away you can see what is apparently ‘grandpa’ - you’re not sure if he’s even alive, curled into an old wheelchair with his eyes closed and head on his shoulder. Bubba pats his chest and shoulders softly, straightening the wrinkled clothing and cooing. He moves him closer, parking the chair next to the one closest to you, and spares a few pats and mumbles for the old floral dress on it. You watch as he straightens the old garment, reaching up to brush away a tuft of wiry material at the top. With a mumbled whisper, he moves it aside, leaning down to place a quick kiss on the dry cheek of what you can now see is ‘grandma’. You’re a little horrified, mouth open in shock, but Bubba looks over his shoulder at you and you realize that this is all a lot weirder than you had first thought. 

His face is a mess, smeared with brightly colored makeup that is only vaguely where it should be, and very generously applied. The mouth is a big slash of red that covers part of his cheeks, drawn into a messy shape that doesn’t look much like lips at all. It takes you a few seconds to realize that you’re not looking at him, though, but something covering his face. Someone else’s face. You can see his mouth and eyes, cut out shapes in the mask letting his real face peek through, smiling at you from across the room. 

“What the fuck are you two idiots doing?!”

You’ve never been so happy to hear that voice, turning eagerly towards the noise. Drayton stomps his way into the house and you can hear the slam of the screen door behind him. You open your mouth to scream, to call him in so he can get his brothers in line, but Bubba sees you and rushes forward with a yelp. His hand covers your mouth just in time, muffling your words, and he keeps his grip firm despite your struggling. His brother runs out of the room with a loud swear, throwing his knife to the floor in frustration.

“Why’s that piece of shit generator in my truck? I told you boys not to go down there, didn’t I?”

You had completely forgotten about the generator, presumably still sitting in the flatbed of the truck that they’d parked outside. He must have met the brother in the hall outside the door, because you can hear them clearly as they argue. 

“A-ain’t my fault, he w-wanted to go!”

“I told you both, we don’t need to be messin’ around with anyone else, gettin’ people snooping around. And I know that fool didn’t talk you into nothin’, you’re just stirring up trouble!”

Bubba whines as the shouting continues, shifting back and forth, eyes flicking between your face and the door. He seems to want to step up and defend his brother, but also to not want to give you the opportunity to draw attention. The noise only gets louder as they fight, until the door is flung open with a kick. 

“Well then, y-you’re gonna b-be pissed when you s-see this!”

“Don’t you kick my damn doors, you-”

He stops short, face going slack as he looks into the room. It must be quite the sight, with you tied to a chair and bleeding from your face, Bubba keeping your mouth shut and squealing nervously next to you, and the rearranged furniture haphazardly scattered around. You’re sure that you look the worse for wear, sweaty and bloody, face red and desperate as you try to convey ‘help me!’ with your eyes. The secret is out now, so Bubba lets you go, stepping forward with slumped shoulders and hands out in surrender, babbling in a worried, high pitched tone. 

“What is this?! I leave for a few damn hours and you’ve got the whole house torn up!”

“It’s a w-wedding!”

That response seems to throw him off, mouth opening and closing a few times. Drayton looks at you, then back and forth between his brothers, then back at you. You see the anger return in a flash, finger pointed at you as he scowls. He bypasses Bubba completely, coming towards you with a furious look on his face. 

“Is that what you’re up to? You think you can just weasel your way into this family, like a-” He sputters for a second, trying to think up a suitable insult, “- like some kind of harlot?”

You’re almost in shock at his reaction, pulling at the ties around you for emphasis as you glare at him. 

“I’m tied to a fucking chair, do you really think this was my idea?”

“There’s no call for that kind of language!” 

He scolds you, nearly drowned out by the laughter behind him. He turns to the other two, Bubba still hunched over and trembling, the other looking positively delighted with a big smile on his face. 

“And what in the hell were you thinkin’, lettin’ this go on? What’re we gonna do now, people will miss ‘em and they’ve seen your fool asses runnin’ around like that.”

He gestures violently towards Bubba’s face, the bigger man flinching back so hard that he nearly stumbles. He lets out a quiet noise, mumbling and pointing between him and yourself, then looking up at his older brother with a plaintive expression. You couldn’t make anything out of what he had said, but apparently the others had no problem understanding him. 

“Yeah,” the middle brother adds, waving his arms around in a whirlwind. “S-see, Bubba agrees with m-me, we need a wedding! A-and, I already g-got everything set up!”

“Uh, no,” you cut in, leaning forward as far as the ties will let you and raising your voice. “Here’s what’s gonna happen - you’re gonna untie me right now-”

“Well,” Drayton says slowly, ignoring your input completely. “I guess it might solve our problem, if they was family they wouldn’t have no reason to go tellin’ secrets and such.”

“A-and they like him, too! I h-heard, they were f-flirtin’ when we w-went down this mornin’!”

He looks thoughtful for a moment, glancing at you but ignoring your protests. You huff and complain as he thinks it over, but it doesn’t seem like any of it reaches him. 

“You know, it ain’t a bad idea. If they got shit enough taste to be flirtin’ with him in the first place, ain’t my fault if it leads to trouble.”

You’re astounded by this leap in logic, staring at him in shock. You had expected him to be the voice of reason, to tame his brothers and get you back home with a promise that it wouldn’t happen again, even if he acted grumpy about it. He should have come in and put a stop to this mess, not encouraged it. 

The younger two brothers let out happy whoops and yelps, scurrying eagerly back into place next to you. Once he’s close enough, Bubba beams at you happily, patting the top of your head. You realize with a jolt that he’s probably the most sane, reasonable person in the room, and he’s the one wearing a skin mask. 

“Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself. “This is not how I thought today would go down.”

[justwritingscibbles]

A Fine Welcome

Fic Request: 

“How about a fic where zombie Robbie finds nb reader, bc u smell nice he later reveals, walking ur dog and he hugs u u can barely scream bc his body pressed against u. He gets scared but it tickles and he holds u closer when Anti knocks u out. The septics freak bc "we told you to find rob not kidnap someone" but u+ur dog are treated nicely by the Septics who only keep u to make sure Anti+rob didn't hurt u, complimenting your dog that chase defo plays with and its the start of Robs first romance”

“What the hell do you mean ‘they can’t stay’? You do realise I had to knock them across the head, right? We let them go, they’re gonna start a riot somewhere.”

It was the warmth of a familiar furry body that began to stir you from the heavy sleep. The scratchy voice further stirring you from the black. The same voice you heard before something heavy struck the back of your head. 

“No! They....stay.... pup too.” Another voice spoke. It was familiar too. The scent of heavy cologne tickled your nose. The memory of a shambled walk. A violet head of hair and the sensation of being crushed by his arms. 

A hug.... one you don’t remember asking for. 

“Robbie, the dog and your new friend cannot stay.” A softer voice spoke up. Closer to you. Like they were sitting directly beside you. “We need to get them somewhere else. A hospital. O-Or a hotel.” 

“Zat vould be a mistake. Vhat if they remember Anti? Ve cannot risk letting them go. Not until ve know zey aren’t a threat to us.” 

Their words were swirling in your mind. They all sounded so similar you were sure it was just one person speaking. 

You groaned and you felt something cool press against your head. It was damp, providing a sense of ease to the discomfort behind your skull. 

The bed dipped and a wet nose prodded your cheek, followed by a whimper as the warm body moved closer to snuggle into you. 

Silence settled for a few heart-beats and you could feel the burning sensation of multiple gazes on you. 

You were beginning to worry now. 

“Friend...scared.” The slurred voice mumbled. “P-Pulse...faster.” 

“Zen they are avake.” The more heavily accented man hissed. “Ve need to decide now.” 

“No!” The damp cloth fell away as you felt the world shift. Cold arms wrapped around you and you felt your head roll onto the fabric of a shirt. That same heavy scent of cologne filled your nostrils and you forced your eyes open. Coughing weakly. You were ignored as the person holding you curled around you; almost protectively. “Friend stay!” 

Around the room, you glimpsed four men. Almost all identical in looks stare at you in defeat. 

To them, they were at a stand-still. They couldn’t tear you away from Robbie without causing a very dangerous situation. It would risk Robbie Turning, or you getting injured or panicking. 

The man with a baseball cap sighed and looked to the other three. His gaze close to pleading. 

“Let’s talk to them. They’re human after all, and they have a dog. Dog people are trust-worthy.” 

“Chase, that is so stupid even I’m surprised it came from your mouth.” The scratchy voice came from a man with a scar across his neck. His green hair messy and all over the place. His eyes a vibrant green, like they were glowing. “You do realise dog-fighting is a thing. And they consist mostly of dog-people.” 

The man, Chase, frowned and glared at the more menacing guy. But said nothing, he looked a little heartbroken. 

The arms around you tightened when Anti turned back to look at you. Meeting your confused gaze with a sharp scowl. 

“I still think Marvin should hex them.” He said after a moment. Receiving a gurgled growl from the person holding you. “Hey man, it’s not gonna hurt them. Just put them to sleep for a bit. And make them forget us.” 

“No.” Robbie snarled. Falling quiet when your dog glanced at him.

Panting happily.

Your pet was probably overjoyed to be on a bed with you. Despite the fact that there were many strange men around you and you were practically trembling with fear. (Y/D/N) didn’t care. They were probably expecting a cuddle or even a treat. 

Seeing that these guys weren’t taking you seriously yet, you decided it was time to test out your voice. Your head was pounding, you were being held hostage by a man who reeked of cheap store deodorant and you had no idea what was happening. 

“My name is (y/n). Look, I don’t know what is going on, but I promise not to tell anyone. J-Just let me go.” You were surprised by how calm you sounded. But one cold look from Anti and you were back to shaking. 

This Robbie guy moved you so he was shielding you from those neon green eyes. His teeth bared in a snarl. 

“Rob, buddy, mind explaining why you attacked this person?” The baseball cap guy, Chase, crouched beside the bed. Catching Robbie’s attention and you felt the guy instantly relax a little. 

You liked this Chase. He was more friendly and obviously knew that demanding something or arguing wasn’t going to help. 

You turned your head enough so that you could see the man that held you. 

At the park he looked horrible. His skin had been dry and flaky. Eyes dead and almost emotionless; shambling towards you like a horror film zombie. 

It had been a terrifying experience and before you could sprint off, you had been captured in his arm. After that, it was a blur. 

But here, Robbie’s skin was smooth. Despite a small cut to his lip. 

Had you done that? When you tried to fight him off? 

“Smell... nice.” Robbie said and Chase’s lips quirked in an uncertain laugh. Pressing a hand to his lips as Robbie continued. “Pup wanted...to play. (Y/n)’s hair..smelt...pretty.” 

“Oh dear fucking god, Robbie.” Anti huffed and beside him, a masked man had to hide his grin behind a cough. All of them seemed to find this a little humorous. But you were very confused. Had you been kidnapped because of your shampoo?? 

“An-i tried to... hurt them...” Robbie’s tone dipped into a growl and all eyes turned to Anti. Who quickly raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. Cutting off a rising scolding from the last man in the group.

“No. No, that is not what happened! Robbie had them in a headlock! He was hugging them so tight they couldn’t breath. I was trying to remove him off them. Schneep you said so yourself; that the, uh, thingumabobs, on their neck is like they were being strangled.” 

The man who has started the scolding, Schneep, sighed heavily and nodded. Fixing his glasses to sit on his nose as he crossed his arms. 

“It iz true. (Y/n) had abbreviations around their neck and shoulders zat could be early signs of strangulation. Robbie vouldn’t have tried to kill zem. But he iz known to get.... overexcited.” 

“Robbie not hurt (y/n)!” The man’s voice sharpened and became clearer with the rising anger. But his strength increased too and you were quickly feeling the same sensation of being crushed like before. 

(Y/D/N) whined and started barking when you flailed, trying to push the man off you. Managing to dislodge the guy enough to almost knock him away.

Chase was quick to grab you and Anti glitched in behind Robbie. Peeling his arms off you and pinning him to the bed. 

“No! Let go, An-i!” Robbie screeched. His hands reaching for you as Chase escorted you out. Making soft whistle noises to your pup, who bounded after the both of you. 

Schneep slammed the door shut the moment you and your dog were free of the room. The sounds of Robbie’s cries echoed after you as Chase guided you into the kitchen. 

“I’m real sorry about this,” Chase said. Offering you a seat on a stool by the kitchen counter. “Usually Robbie is better behaved. He must really like you if he had tried to hug you in public. He’s not one for stranger interactions.” 

“To be honest we’ve met before. He was walking by my house and (y/d/n) started playing with him through the fence. I didn’t really recognise him till now.” The words tumbled from your lips as the memory flooded back. Was that why you hadn’t attacked the moment he hugged you? Did you think he was coming over to say hi?

It was still a blur. And it frustrated you trying to piece it all together. 

Chase gave you a sympathetic smile and flicked on the kettle. Preparing to make you a warm beverage. 

“To be honest, it’s kinda our fault this happened. We try to keep Robbie indoors so he doesn’t disturb anyone. But sometimes we forget to lock the doors and Robbie has a way of finding an exit out of yards. He’s an escape artist, I’m telling you. Anytime you need a way out of prison, I’d suggest going to him.” 

You chuckled and shrugged. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

The two of you fell into an awkward silence. What were you meant to say to one of the five men that kidnapped you? 

Chase clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Scrambling to find some topic to fill the silence. 

Glancing at your dog as it pushed it nose into the trash can; almost knocking it over in it’s determination to explore the smells there. 

“Your dog is adorable. Robbie has a way with animals. They seem to love him, even when he’s Turned.” 

Suddenly realising that he shouldn’t have said that; Chase clamped his lips shut and looked at you hopefully. 

“Ignore that. Please? I don’t wanna get dragged into the scolding from Schneep when you leave. I’ve already heard the whole ‘no secrets to outsiders’ rule.” 

It was obvious that something was going on here. But they seemed like pretty cool guys. Even though, yes, they did kidnap you and seemed like they were threatening to dump you in a random location after... “hexing” you. 

But they were still to try any real threats to you. And they were half being polite.

“I promise not to tell anyone.” You said. And Chase didn’t miss the flash of fear in your eyes. He smiled softly. It reminded you a parent trying to comfort their child after a nightmare. 

It was warm and friendly. It surprisingly comforted you, even despite his next words. 

“Don’t worry. We won’t do anything to you. Robbie will make sure of it.” It was meant as a joke. But Chase was never good at those. 

After Chase made your tea and you both fell into a silent understanding that there was no more talking; you both fell into a tense quiet. 

Up until the rest of the group came out to join you both. 

The masked man and Schneep were the first to come out. Watching expectantly as Robbie and Anti followed. They looked like two kids who had been caught with their hand in a cookie jar. 

Schneep crossed his arms and nodded to you. “Apologise. Or Marvin makes you cluck.”

“Sorry~” Robbie said instantly. His gaze was gentle; matching the same gaze (y/d/n) gives you when they’ve chewed up your shoes again. “I...didn’t mean.. to hurt you....” Robbie concentrated on every syllable so his voice carried them clearly. It was obvious to you that he had some sort of speech impediment.  

Anti however glared at you and glanced away. Mumbling under his breath; too quiet for you to catch. 

The masked guy, Marvin you guessed, rolled his eyes and withdrew a wand from his cloak. He waved it once and Anti’s eyes widened as his lips opened and a loud chicken like “cluck” burst from his mouth. 

Robbie giggled as Anti muffled the rest of the series of chirps and clicks. Eyes shining like sparks of green hell-fire as Marvin returned his wand to his cloak.

“Louder this time.” Marvin said and Anti groaned. 

Head bowed and shoulders slumped, Anti stuffed his hands into his jeans and forced through clamped teeth. “I’m. Sorry....for kidnapping you.” 

You didn’t really know how to respond to that. But you smiled and nodded. 

“I, uh, forgive you. Just... don’t do it again.” 

“Ve can promise zat,” Schneep said. His gaze turning to you; hardening as he continued. “Only if you promise us zat you vill not share vhat happened here. Ve mean no harm. But ve vill if you push-” 

“No!” Again, Robbie’s arms caged you against his chest. Almost pulling you off your chair as Robbie hugged you tight against him. “No hurt, (y/n).” 

You chuckled at the collective groans from the other men. This was probably something that happened often. Not to strangers, but it did look like Robbie liked to take hold of someone and not let go. This was further showed through the exasperated tone Chase had. 

“Robbie, we aren’t going to hurt them. We just want to make sure they don’t spill the beans on us. Alright.” 

“They...promised.” Robbie snapped. His hold much more careful now he had you again. He didn’t want to hurt you anymore then he already had. “They...friend.” 

“Alright, alright. Look Robbie, just let them go and we can talk, ok?” Marvin smiled under his mask. Hoping to coax his brother into releasing you. 

But Robbie shook his head, his bottom lip trembling a little and everyone tensed when his eyes began to turn grey. 

“Uh, Rob, it’s ok. You can stay with them until we work it out. It’s ok.” Chase moved closer and Robbie continued to shake his head. He was trembling and you didn’t like the small whimpers that were slipping out of his chest. It was sad.

You reached up and squeezed his fingers. Hushing him gently. 

“Hey, it’s ok Robbie. I’m not going to leave yet. We can sort this out, ok? Let go and you can sit with me.” 

“Robbie...can’t.” The violet haired man whimpered. And everyone froze, expecting the worse. His eyes turning down to you and your heart nearly broke upon seeing the distraught expression he was wearing. “Robbie...stuck.” 

You weren’t sure what that meant, but everyone around you started to laugh. Chase covered his face with his hat as Marvin shook his head, his shoulder shaking from his cackles. 

Anti wore a grin of dark amusement as he came closer and took a seat next to you. 

“Better get use to it. He’s a zombie. Robbie get’s rigor-mortis whenever he stays in a certain position for too long. So get comfortable. Because he can stay that way for hours.” 

“.... What do you mean he’s a zombie?!”

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

-

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary 

-

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

-

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

-

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

-

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

-

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

-

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding 

-

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

-

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

-

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

-

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

-

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

-

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

-

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

-

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

-

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

-

o hai rayfa

-

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

-

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred 

-

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”. 

-

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

-

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude. 

-

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

-

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

-

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

-

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont 

-

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

-

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil 

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

-

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

-

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

-

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

-

phew. im glad Maya’s ok. 

-

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

-

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov. 

-

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

-

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

-

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this 

-

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix  Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

-

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

-

...a tasty... hash house

i

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

-

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

-

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

-

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

-

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo 

-

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

-

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

-

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it 

-

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

-

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard 

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

-

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

-

oh well that was abrupt 

meh, onwards to the tomb

-

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

-

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog 

-

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts. 

-

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago 

-

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

-

 alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something 

-

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping 

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

-

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings  

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

-

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we 

-

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames. 

ooh i like that last one though

-

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

-

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation 

-

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

-

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

-

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

-

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

-

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

-

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice. 

-

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

-

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant 

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

-

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

-

oh ok he didnt say anything 

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

-

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth 

-

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

-

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

-

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad? 

-

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened 

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you? 

-

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

-

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

-

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

-

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

-

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING 

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

-

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

-

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.