#so his appearance being like that is fun to me

[smartkookiee]

How to Lose A Guy in 30 Days! || Ch.1 — jjk.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀° ❥pairing: Jungkook x Reader ❥genre/rating: strangers to lovers, 18+ ❥chapter warnings: Flirting, drinking, nothing crazy happens in this chapter tbh, idiots, have fun (I’m so excited to see what everyone says, thank you to everyone for all the love on the teaser post!) ❥word-count: 9.4k ❥Series Masterlist ❥|| Next chapter fic is cross posted to ao3 - send an ask or comment on post to be added to the tag list. ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°

Day 0

“Y/N, can I see you in my office?” Yoongi’s voice cut through the ambient buzz of the office as he appeared at your cubicle. You blinked up at him, his request causing a ripple of curiosity among your surrounding coworkers, though no one dared to show it openly.

You hesitated, a flicker of doubt crossing your mind. Was I in trouble? Did he hate my last research project? Your mind raced through the possibilities. Yoongi had praised your work just last week, but what if he’d changed his mind? The thought of him taking back his compliments made your stomach twist. With a sigh, you saved your work and rose to follow him. The walk to his office felt unnervingly like being summoned to the principal’s office in high school.

Though your colleagues barely glanced in your direction, the nerves still had your palms sweating. You tried to wipe them discreetly on your pants as you stepped inside his office.

Yoongi moved behind his desk with casual ease, sinking into his chair as though he hadn’t just rattled your nerves with his sudden appearance. You stood awkwardly for a moment until he waved you toward the chair in front of his desk.

“You can relax, Y/N. You’re not in trouble,” he said, his tone gentle but amused. It was clear he could feel the tension radiating off you.

“I know, I know. I’m just a worrywart. You know that,” you laughed softly, though it came out more anxious than you’d intended. “So… why did you want to see me?”

Yoongi leaned forward slightly, resting his arms on the desk as he watched you. “I’ve have an assignment for you. Something better than your usual research work.”

You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued as he began rifling through the disorganized pile of files and papers littering his desk. You’d been at Composure for a while, mostly doing background research for other writers’ articles. But you’d been hoping for an opportunity to step out of the shadows, to prove yourself as more than just a behind-the-scenes contributor. Maybe this is it?

When Yoongi finally found what he was looking for, he pulled out an old magazine and dropped it in front of you with a soft thud. You glanced down at the cover, your eyes widening as you saw the issue was from 2003.

“How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days,” Yoongi said, leaning back in his chair with a knowing glint in his eyes.

You picked up the magazine and began flipping through it, skimming the pages until you found the article. A sense of familiarity washed over you—this was one of those interesting pieces people still whispered about around the office. “I’m confused.”

“This piece was a massive hit when it came out,” he explained, lacing his fingers together as he leaned back. “Lana, one of the higher-ups, was the editor at the time this particular piece came out. She brought it up recently, said she thinks it’s time for something like this to make a comeback.”

“You want me to do this?” you asked, still reeling from the audacity of the concept. You skimmed through the details, noting the original author, Andy. She had gone to extreme lengths to sabotage a relationship for the sake of the article. You couldn’t help but cringe at some of the tactics she’d employed.

“Not exactly,” Yoongi replied with a small chuckle. “The feedback back then was that the whole experiment felt a bit too unrealistic. Readers loved it and it was a funny read, but many thought they don’t do things this intense. Lana’s idea was to take the same concept, but… stretch it out.”

“Stretch it out?” you echoed, still trying to wrap your head around the idea.

“Yeah. Ten days is too quick for something like this. We want to make it feel more genuine. Instead of a mad dash to drive the guy away, we want to see what happens over a longer period. A month, maybe two. Let the tension build naturally.”

You leaned back in your chair, letting the idea swirl around in your head. It was ambitious, maybe even a bit reckless, but there was no denying it would be a challenge.. “So… you want me to date someone and—what? Subtly sabotage it over time?”

“Exactly. Actually date but do all the classic early relationship mistakes,” Yoongi explained, his eyes gleaming with the thrill of the concept. “It’s an experiment in human behavior, relationships, and how much people are willing to overlook.”

“So like talking about something personal way too fast, or inviting yourself into their life way too quickly and then write about it?” you prattled on a bit, it was picking at the ideas in your brain in the right way.

Yoongi smiled, clearly pleased with your interest. “I brought this to you because you have more than proven yourself here. You’ve been doing excellent research, and I want to see how you handle something of this scale. Especially because this would be a feature piece.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the compliment, but there was still a question gnawing at you. “I’m glad you are trusting me with something like this, especially with such a high-profile piece. But… I have to ask, sir—why do you think I’m the right person for this?”

Yoongi leaned forward slightly, his expression more thoughtful. “Because I want to challenge you. I like your research and I like how you write, you understand the people who read our columns on a deeper level. I think you have more in you. I want to see if you can handle something outside of your comfort zone.” His voice softened, but the weight of his words wasn’t lost on you. “And after something like this, I’d be more than happy to move you on to bigger and better pieces.”

The subtle hint of a promotion sent a jolt of excitement through you. “Really?”

“Really,” Yoongi confirmed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

It was all you could do to keep the excitement from bubbling over. An actual writing assignment, something that could elevate your standing in the magazine, was exactly what you had been waiting for.

“I don’t even know what to say other than thank you.” 

You fidget with the magazine in your hands, resisting the urge to curl the edges. Your mind raced, trying to think of what a realistic timeline for the piece could look like—something ambitious, but doable.

“How about… How to Lose a Guy in Thirty Days? A longer timeline, more idealistic. A month in is usually when new relationships start to fall apart. It’s after the initial getting-to-know-someone phase,” you suggest, throwing the idea out there, hoping Yoongi would take the bait.

“Thirty days, huh?” He raises an eyebrow, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “You sure you’re up for it?”

“Yes, sir.” You nod, your confidence building as you think about the possibilities.

“Good,” Yoongi replies, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied look. “Let’s start on Monday, after we get through this print run. That gives you a few days to find the poor guy.”

“Right. Thank you, Mr. Min.” You stand up, your heart racing as you try to play it cool. But as soon as you exit his office, you can barely contain your excitement.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” you mutter under your breath as you rush to your desk. Your fingers fly across the keyboard as you start jotting down notes, pulling out sticky notes and scribbling ideas, trying to organize your thoughts.

Ronnie, sitting in the neighboring cubicle, leans back to peer around the divider, noticing your frenzied state. She rolls her chair into your space, sliding up next to you with a curious look.

“What’s got you in such a hurry?” she asks, raising an eyebrow as she watches you type furiously. A laugh escapes her when she sees the pen stuck in your mouth and the growing pile of sticky notes attached to the old magazine.

“I gob a columb,” you mumble through the pen, barely pausing your typing.

Ronnie plucks the pen from your mouth. “Try that again.”

“I’m writing my first column.” You repeat, finally turning to face her, your excitement breaking through.

“No way!” Ronnie stands, her voice a little too loud, drawing a few glances from nearby desks. She sits back down and grabs your shoulders. “That’s so awesome! Your first column! What’s it going to be about?”

You hand her the magazine, pointing to the title. “This.”

“How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days?” She raises her eyebrows in surprise, flipping through the article. “You’re seriously going to do this?”

“Well, not exactly the same,” you say with a grin, watching as she reads through the outlandish tactics in the original piece. “Just similar.”

Ronnie’s eyes widen as she reaches some of the more extreme parts of the article. “Okay, this is crazy, all the things this girl did to this guy. Oh my god.” She rocked in disbelief, continuing the read through. “Awe, ends bittersweet though.” 

“It’s going to be How to Lose A Guy in Thirty Days this time.” 

“A month?” She laughs and shakes her head, you give her a confused look. 

“What? I can do this!” You bump her shoulder. 

“Do what?” Namjoon strolls into your cubical looking between the both of you.

“Kid got her first column.” Ronnie sings she has a proud grin on her face. You spin around to look at Namjoon. 

His face lights up at the news, “That’s so awesome! Congrats!” He rubs your hair messing it up, you bat his hands away smoothing out your hair. 

“Thanks Joon.” 

“What’s it on?” Namjoon leans against your desk along side Ronnie. 

Ronnie hands him the magazine flipped open to the article. He takes it and examines it for a moment, he reads along and his eyes widen at times. You continue scribbling down some thoughts while he does this. Namjoon was a silent reader but would always share his full thoughts when he was done. 

“Woah, this is wild.” Namjoon flips back to the beginning of the article, like he had to read it over again. 

“I know the original one is a little insane but we are doing it differently this time.” You explain, Namjoon had concern written all over his face reading through the article again. 

“Quote, ‘after five days I decided to go ahead and take things to the next level between us. I completely redecorate his apartment with pink attire and stuffed animals everywhere.” Namjoon reads the section out loud. “She only knew him for five days?” 

You nod, “I don’t know how she was so brave to do all of that. Luckily Yoongi said I don’t have to be as extreme as this. Just more casually clingy and needy, do small things that most people think are normal but seem to send guys running before anything serious can begin.” 

“Yeah, I definitely hope you don’t end up ‘photoshopping your baby pictures together.’” Ronnie adds with a grin.

You laugh, shaking your head. “God, no. I’d sooner die of embarrassment. I don’t have the energy for that level of crazy.”

Namjoon leans back in his chair, one eyebrow raised in slight  concern. “So, what is the plan then? You’ve got something in mind, right?”

You sigh dramatically. “Not sure yet. I’ve got until Monday to find a guy and come up with some sort of idea of how I want to do this.”

“Oh, can we help?” Ronnie’s eyes light up as she bounces in her chair, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Help find the guy?”

“Obviously, and with the torture,” she adds, looking way too enthusiastic.

“I’m not torturing him,” you chuckle, “just… irritating him a little. You know, for research purposes.”

“Uh-huh.” Namjoon’s teasing grin softens as he looks at you, a hint of doubt creeping in. “But are you really sure you can do this, like… casually?”

You blink at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, come on,” Namjoon says with a snort, gesturing vaguely at you. “You wear your heart in a pink, sparkly basket for everyone to see. Are you sure you won’t fall for the poor guy instead?”

“I don’t do that! And I will not!” You protest, but Namjoon and Ronnie exchange a look that screams they definitely think you do.

“I’ve never seen you not get your hopes up after a date or two,” Ronnie says, shrugging sympathetically.

“Well, this time will be different,” you say, folding your arms defiantly. “It’s just business. I have to get the guy to break up with me anyway.”

They weren’t wrong, though, and you know it. You’ve always been one of those people who swoon at love songs and daydream about movie-perfect endings. You were the exact type of person this article was written for in the first place. You did get attached too quickly and were getting hurt too often. But this? This was just an assignment. A game. You wouldn’t get hurt if you knew it had to end from the start.

“You’ll see.” You add with more confidence, determined to prove them wrong.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Ronnie teases, rolling her chair back toward her desk. It was well past time for her to get to her own work. 

Namjoon shakes his head with a chuckle. “Good luck to this guy, I guess,” he mutters, though there’s warmth in his voice. He’s seen you get your hopes up too many times to believe you could really keep things casual.

But this time, you were determined. No expectations. No daydreaming. It was all just work.

Across town, though, someone else was perfectly content with his easygoing, no-strings-attached lifestyle. Jungkook, waking up in someone else’s bed was just another morning for him. He opened his eyes but was blinded by the morning light. He rolled over and looked around, he had no idea where he was. Memories of last night vaguely coming back to the front of his mind. 

He looks over to see a sleeping girl in the same bed. He stands from the bed and manages to find his phone. Seeing the time. 

“Shit.” He rushes to find his scattered items and puts his clothes back on. Tip toeing his way around the room and manages to get out the front door without a fuss. 

Getting out of the building, Jungkook blinked as the morning sun hit him square in the face. He rubbed his eyes, still groggy from a less-than-restful sleep. Scanning the unfamiliar streets, he had no idea what neighborhood he was in, but that was par for the course these days. He pulled out his phone and called for an Uber, slipping his sunglasses on as he waited.

Another late night, another random bed. This wasn’t exactly new territory, but he couldn’t help feeling off. Normally, Thursdays were a quiet night in, but when Jimin and Taehyung wanted to go out, Jungkook wasn’t about to turn them down. And, as always, the night had ended the way it usually did for him—blurry and chaotic.

By the time Jungkook made it to the office, it was later than he would normally prefer to arrive. Slipping through the doors, he did his best to avoid attention although Hoseok’s keen eyes were already tracking him. Jungkook tried to get settled quietly, but it was pointless. Hoseok’s desk, conveniently right next to his, made stealth impossible.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Hoseok sang, swiveling in his chair to grin at Jungkook. He tapped a few keys on his keyboard, then gave Jungkook an exaggerated once-over. “Did you lose a bet, or is that last night’s shirt?”

Jungkook smirked as he slid into his seat. “Hey, I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but in yesterday’s clothes. What’d you do? Roll straight from the bar to your desk?” Hoseok raised an eyebrow, clicking away on his mouse as he pulled up their latest coding project.

“Pretty much,” Jungkook admitted, booting up his own computer. “I’ll head home at lunch and change. No one cares what I wear to debug.”

Hoseok shook his head with a laugh. “You’re gonna blind the clients with your wrinkled t-shirts one of these days.”

“Fair enough,” Jungkook chuckled, typing in his password. “But I’m still better at the code reviews, so they can’t complain too much.”

Hoseok conceded with a nod, leaning back in his chair. “Rough night?”

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck. “You could say that. Taehyung and Jimin were relentless. Didn’t stop until the bar kicked us out.”

“Ah, classic,” Hoseok said with a grin. “They never know when to quit.”

Jungkook smirked, though he felt the exhaustion settling in his bones. “They’ve got energy for days, man. But, hey, what about tonight? You in?”

Hoseok hesitated, glancing at the lines of code on his screen before looking back at Jungkook. “Again? You don’t look like you’re dying to go out tonight.”

Jungkook chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “I mean, I’m wrecked, but you know I’m down. Someone’s gotta keep Taehyung from getting us banned from another bar.”

Hoseok shook his head, clearly amused. “I dunno, man. I might actually take it easy tonight. Jimin’s been texting like he’s planning another big one, and I don’t know if I’ve got the energy to babysit.”

“You? Too tired to party?” Jungkook teased, raising an eyebrow. “Weren’t you just complaining last week that we only go out when you’re drowning in deadlines?”

“I didn’t say I’m backing out,” Hoseok defended, though his reluctance was obvious. “I’m just... thinking about it.”

“Thinking about it, my ass. You’ll be there. I’ll text Jimin, tell him to go easy on the plans.” Jungkook turned back to his monitor, his fingers flying over the keys as he opened the project files for their current assignment.

Hoseok chuckled. “Yeah, alright. But if I show up and Taehyung’s dancing on tables again, I’m leaving early.”

“Deal,” Jungkook said with a grin.

 Then Hoseok’s smirk deepened, and he shot a glance at Jungkook. “By the way, has she called you yet?”

Jungkook frowned, glancing sideways. “Who?”

“Claire. She’s been texting me. Again.” Hoseok’s grin turned into a mock look of annoyance. “Seriously, bro, how is she still hitting me up to ask about you? You need to fix that.”

Jungkook groaned, running a hand through his hair. “I thought I made it clear we’re done.”

“Well, apparently she didn’t get the memo. She asked me yesterday if you were ‘okay,’ like I’m your personal messenger or something.”

Jungkook sighed, his fingers stilling on his keyboard. “I haven’t heard from her in weeks. She’s probably fishing for info, trying to get back in touch. She wanted something serious, and I was always upfront about keeping it casual.”

Hoseok raised an eyebrow. “And she didn’t take that well?”

“She acted like she understood, but... yeah, not really. I broke it off before things got messy.” Jungkook sighed. “Now she’s bugging you instead.”

“Lucky me,” Hoseok muttered. “She’s persistent, I’ll give her that. But seriously, dude, she’s asking me if you’re, like, in a dark place or something. I think she’s hoping for a window to swoop back in.”

Jungkook groaned, leaning back in his chair. “Tell her I’ve joined a monastery.”

Hoseok laughed. “Sure, I’ll let her know you’ve taken a vow of silence and reflection.”

The rest of the morning flew by in a blur of coding and testing modules. By the time lunch rolled around, Jungkook had managed to convince Jimin to keep the plans for the night low-key—just a few drinks at a bar they liked. Hoseok seemed more on board with the promise of a relaxed evening, and Jungkook was glad. As much as he loved the chaos, even he was feeling the need for something calmer.

When they arrived at the bar that evening, it was more crowded than they’d expected. The hum of conversation, laughter, and clinking glasses filled the air, and the warmth of bodies packed in tight hit them as they wove their way through the crowd.

“So much for a quiet night,” Hoseok muttered, dodging a couple who were clearly several drinks in.

Jungkook grinned, nudging him. “Come on, it’s Friday. What did you expect?”

“Less people and more chairs,” Hoseok replied, though the grin on his face said he wasn’t too upset about it.

Jungkook laughed, scanning the bar for a spot to settle in. Despite his earlier exhaustion, he could feel the pull of another night out with his friends, the familiar buzz of energy creeping in. There was something about the chaos of it all that he couldn’t resist.

“Over here!” Jimin’s voice cut through the noise, his arm waving above the sea of people as he flagged them down. He and Taehyung had already secured a table in the corner.

Jungkook and Hoseok exchanged a glance before making their way over, dodging elbows and weaving past groups of friends clustered around the bar. As they reached the table and took their seats, Hoseok let out a deep sigh.

“Jesus, there are so many people here tonight,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Maybe I should have stayed home.”

Jimin smirked, leaning back in his chair with his drink in hand. “Aww, come on. It’s been forever since we’ve been out together.”

Jungkook chuckled, patting Hoseok on the shoulder. “It was definitely a struggle convincing him to come tonight.”

Hoseok held up his hands in surrender, a playful grin tugging at the corner of his lips. “Hey, I was promised a chill night with some drinks. That’s my kind of Friday night.”

Before anyone could say more, Taehyung appeared at the table, balancing a tray of drinks with ease. “Here you go, gentlemen,” he said, passing them around with a flourish.

A round of thank-yous followed as each of the guys took their drinks. Jungkook took a long sip, letting the cool, bitter taste of his beer settle on his tongue as he leaned back in his chair, finally starting to relax.

“So,” Taehyung said after a moment, turning to Jungkook with a curious smile, “where did you disappear last night, man?”

Jungkook barely had time to respond before Jimin interjected, his tone teasing. “Where do you think he ran off to?” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows in fake suspicion.

The grin on his face made it clear he was referring to Jungkook’s extracurricular activities.

Taehyung snickered, shaking his head. “Oh, I see. Anything to tell? Did you find the love of your life?” His voice was full of amusement as he took another sip of his drink.

Hoseok snorted, rolling his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, right.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes playfully, tipping his head in Hoseok’s direction. “Hey, you never know.”

“Sure,” Hoseok said with a laugh, bumping Jungkook’s shoulder. “I’m sure she felt some kind of deep connection.”

Jimin waved a hand in Hoseok’s direction, dismissing him with a grin. “Leave him alone.”

But Hoseok wasn’t ready to let it go just yet. He shrugged, glancing around the table. “I mean, as long as I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him be serious with someone.”

Jungkook felt the familiar twist in his gut at the comment but didn’t let it show. It wasn’t that he didn’t want something serious—it just hadn’t happened in years. He took another sip of his beer, trying to brush off the remark. He had become somewhat comfortable in his solace and easy hook ups. Last thing he had to something serious was what he had with Claire, and that wasn’t even hardly serious.

Broke it off because she changed her mind about what she was wanting from him, Jungkook just really didn’t see a future with her and had always made his feelings about their relationship clear. He really came off looking like a dick but he didn’t want to drag her along. He didn’t want to drag anyone along. 

“I can be serious when I want to be.” Jungkook took another sip of his beer. 

“Yeah for like a day.” Taehyung teases. 

“Not even, more like an afternoon.” Jimin jumps on him with a laugh. 

“Try thirty minutes!” Hoseok adds on to the end before Jungkook waves them all of. 

“Thirty minutes?” he raised an eyebrow, “Give me more credit than that.”

“Fine, thirty-one.” Taehyung added on with another laugh. 

“Whatever,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Make your jokes but I don’t see any of you pulling in any serious relationships these days.” Jungkook points the top of his bottle around the group. 

“Hey, I have a date next week I’ll have you know!” Hoseok protests.

“This isn’t about us though, this is about you.” Jimin sits back in his chair. 

“What about me?”

“You’re not a relationship guy.” Taehyung sipped his beer. 

“I’m comfortable by myself.” Jungkook crossed his arms. 

“Nothing wrong with it, I just doubt you could ever be serious with someone.” Jimin shrugs. 

“I’d be a better boyfriend than you.” Jungkook kicks Jimin's leg under the table. 

“Yeah maybe when you’re fifty and decide it’s time to settle down.” Taehyung gives Jungkook a smirk. 

“No way, I bet I could be a better boyfriend than all three of you.” Jungkook was getting too serious and Jimin and Taehyug smelt a challenge in the air. 

“Wanna bet on it?” Jimin cocks his head to the side. It wasn’t unlike the three of them to make bets and they were always stupid.

“Aren’t we a little too old for bets?” Hoseok looks between the guys but he could already tell once Jimin raised the question, Jungkook was already locked into the idea. 

“What are you thinking?” Jungkook leans his elbows on the table. 

“I will bet a hundred dollars, that you couldn’t keep a girlfriend for more than two weeks.” Jimin states and Jungkook almost feels insulted. 

“Come on, I can do better than that.” Jungkook goats Jimin, Jimin looks at Taehyung. 

“I’ll buy in. 200 bucks.” Tahyung jumps on it. 

“You guys are morons.” Hoseok shakes his head, Jungkook was up for the challenge but two weeks was insulting. 

“No, I can keep a partner around for way longer than two weeks. Come on.”

“Okay, how about a month. We’ll make it 300 bucks if you can stay with the same girl for one month.” Jimin jumps on it, between him and Taehyung they would only be out one fifty each. 

“But we get to pick who it is.” Taehyung quickly tacts on that little stipulation. 

“What? No fair.” Jungkook pouts. 

“Totally fair. Hobi weigh in on this.” Jimin nods his head to Hoseok who was hoping to stay invisible but it seems he has been brought on as the referee. 

“I guess it makes sense, if you pick the girl it makes it too easy for you to win.” Hoseok logics it out but this definitely wasn’t starting to feel fair.

“Ugh fine.” Jungkook groaned, Jimin had extended his hand for a shake, Jungkook took it and they shook on the deal. 

“Again, idiots.” Hoseok knew this was probably going to crash and burn and Jungkook would be out three hundred bucks. Jungkook was feeling very confident though and perhaps a little too competitive. He felt sure he could sucker these two out of three hundred bucks. As well as get to hang out with a pretty girl for a while. Putting on all of his best charm. 

“So when do we start?” Jungkook looks between them. 

“How about right now?” Jimin taps his glass.

While that played out, across the same bar, you were sitting at a booth with your friends.

Catching Jin up on your new promotion at work and your upcoming column to be. The bar was buzzing with life, the noise blending into a background hum as you spoke, but you could feel the excitement rising between you all.

“No way,” Jin’s face lit up as he scanned the photos of the old magazine article on your phone. You had snapped a few pictures to give him the full story, and now he was reading it with wide eyes, barely containing his amusement.

“Crazy, isn’t it?” Ronnie took a long sip of her cocktail, her expression still skeptical. She shook her head as if she still couldn’t wrap her mind around what you were planning. “I mean, I seriously can’t believe you’re going to go through with this.”

“Look,” you began defensively, though a smile tugged at your lips, “I know it’s a little out there, but Yoongi really thinks I can do this. He has his full faith in me.”

It was true. Despite the fact that this assignment would push you far outside of your comfort zone, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement and determination. It wasn’t going to be easy, but you were confident you could handle it.

Jin, still holding your phone, read aloud with a dramatic flair: “A friend of mine made a good point that I shouldn’t allow him to have a boys’ night, so I decided to get a key from his landlord to interrupt their game night!” He glanced up with an incredulous look. “She really got a key from his landlord? That’s insane!”

You snatched your phone back, eyes wide. “Okay, I’m not doing that!” you exclaimed, shaking your head. “I’m just going to be clingy, needy. I’m not breaking into anyone’s house!”

“Good for her, honestly,” Namjoon chimed in, cracking open a peanut from the bowl in front of him. “The guy she picked probably deserved it.”

Ronnie nudged him with her elbow. “Didn’t you read the end? She ended up falling in love with him! Realized she was wrong and that he didn’t deserve all that treatment.” Ronnie leaned back in her chair, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Classic.”

“Of course, she did,” Jin chuckled, taking another sip of his beer. His eyes flicked back to you, a teasing grin spreading across his face. “That’s totally going to be you.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “I will not.”

“Please,” Jin said, laughing. “You’re such a gooey romantic. You fall in love so easily.”

Namjoon and Ronnie exchanged knowing glances, both trying—and failing—not to laugh. They knew better than anyone how quickly you could get swept up in a whirlwind of emotions. It wasn’t that you were naive, just hopelessly, undeniably romantic. And they were somewhat concerned about how this whole assignment might play out.

“Look, this is a professional column,” you said, crossing your arms defensively. “It’s not like I’m actually looking for anything serious. I just have to scare him off. That’s it.”

“Either that or he will be on bended knee by the end of it.” Namjoon teased. 

“Very funny. That’s why I have you guys here though, help me pick someone.” You really did want some help on this part. If you got help picking the guy then maybe you could pick someone who it would be easy to let go of.

“How so?” Ronnie tilted her head at your request.

“Well knowing my luck I would accidentally pick a guy who is totally perfect for me and I really won’t be able to go through with it. If you guys pick then you could objectively find someone who is someone I would never go for.” You clap your hands together, hoping your explanation is enough. 

“Oh I’m so in.” Jin rests his chin on his hands. “Plus this bar is packed, we could easily find someone tonight.”

“Well we won’t find him sitting here. Let’s go fish.” Ronnie stands from her seat offering a hand to you, Jin following close behind. The three of you taking a turn about the bar, making observations at some of the different groups that were here. 

“Let’s see.” Ronnie taps her lips with her pointer finger and glances about the room as the three of you search from person to person. “Okay, guy at the bar. Sweater, cheesy and obviously cheap silver necklace.”

You and Jin both take a glance over to him, he seemed to be here alone. Looked nice enough, maybe a good choice. He seemed like a jock type, looked like he was trying with his looks a little too hard. You were considering it before Jin shook his head. 

“Not him, hes rubbed his ring finger like four times.” Jin points, just at that moment the guy does it again, “He’s either married or just got divorced and looking for another wife. Next!” 

“Touche.” You agree and the three of you glance around again. “Okay, how about that guy?”

You point to a small group of guys who seemed way deep into a game of pool. One of the guys sinks a cool shot into one of the pockets and he and another guy cheer too loudly, you were far away and you could still hear them. He looked like he was about to break his pool stick from excitement. 

“Nevermind. Way too intense.” It would have been a good choice but you would probably end up dumping him before you could get any work done. 

The three of you run through a few more guys as you walk around, all three of you seemed to find some reason to veto them again and again. Some were too close to your type and some were just too annoying for you to be able to stand them long enough to keep this ruse up. 

“God slim pickings tonight.” You were getting exhausted. You were considering heading back to Namjoon at the table and coneiding for the night. Maybe sleep it off and try again at another bar tomorrow. 

“We can do this.” Ronnie cheers trying to keep your spirits high. “This guy is here, I just know it.” She had had more to drink at this point, she's a pretty energetic drunk. 

“I agree. No throwing in the towel yet.” Jin scans the room again, you guys had moved to many different spots and more people had moved in and out of the bar at this point. 

Jin looked around from guy to guy. Jin frequented this bar often so he had a general sense of the people who were new and the people who frequented here often. He wasn’t sure himself who would work for this, they had to be the perfect combination of nice enough to stick it out but still a playboy or asshole enough that you wouldn’t fall for them. Someone who maybe deserved a little bit of torture. Someone who needed a little due karma. 

He waited for a moment, maybe all three of you just needed to let the guy reveal himself. Before Jin thought it was hopeless was just when he got exactly what he asked for. 

Jungkook was making his way over to the bar.

“Bingo.” Jin whispered. Jungkook had left the table with his friends, the booth was tucked away in the corner so it was no wonder he didn't notice them before. “That’s the guy.” 

“Who?” You ask and then Jin points his finger, tracking Jungkook to the end of the bar. You watched him order from the bartender and then casually wait for a moment. 

“He’s perfect.” Jin was confident. 

“He’s cute?” Ronnie nods, Jin rolling his eyes at her. “What am I wrong?” 

He was very cute you thought, he sported this leather jacket and dark jean look. Large boots, it wasn’t your usually clean cut look that you enjoyed but you understood the appeal of it. 

“Okay why him?” You ask looking at Jin. 

“I’ve seen him here a lot. Always comes with a group of friends, but he never leaves alone. Never the same girl twice. I thought he stopped coming around, but nope. Looks like he’s still at it. His name’s something like Jungkook.” Jin places both hands on your shoulders, looking you dead in the eye. “Total Casanova. Leaves behind a trail of broken hearts.”

Ronnie raises an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t that make it harder to keep him around for thirty days?” 

“Not necessarily,” you say, the wheels turning in your head. “I just need him to dump me within thirty days. He doesn’t have to stick around for all thirty.”

“Longest I saw him entertain a girl for was maybe two weeks? That’s exactly what you need.” Jin shakes your shoulders and you laugh at the movement, almost dizzy after your two drinks. 

A playboy type who can’t commit for more than two weeks. It was exactly what you needed, and lucky for you you wouldn’t need to feel bad about maybe annoying him too much. You needed him to dump you no matter what. Could be fun after all, messing with a guy who is a fuckboy that Jin has seen around could be almost a perfect karma for this guy. 

“Perfect.” You say with a sly smile as you watch him walk back to his group balancing a few drinks in his arms along the way. 

Jungkook managed to set the drinks down gently, “Here you go boys.”

He passed the drinks outs but Jimin and Taehyung were deliberating about something. Jungkook looked between them and looked to Hobi for confirmation. Hoseok wasn’t totally sure what their hushed conversation was about. 

“I don’t know, seems like he could make that work too well.” Jungkook could barely make out the sentence coming from Tae. 

“No it has to be someone like that.” Jimin adds on and then they both seem to come to some silent agreement. Both sitting up straight in their spots. 

“What are you two whispering about?” Jungkook breaks the silence and they both have big grins on their faces, Taehyung is looking over the back of the booth to the bar. 

“Okay we have made a decision.” Jimin puts on an announcer voice, holding his glass like a microphone.

“You picked someone? Already?” Jungkook was surprised they had come to an agreement on this so quickly. 

Taehyung looks back to Jungkook and nods, “Over there, short maroon dress. Waiting at the bar. Has a tall guy and another girl, dark hair and black dress with her.” Taehyung points and Jungkook looks. 

It takes him a moment, but then he spots you, mid-laugh about something with your friends. A small smile tugs at his lips—you were undeniably cute. There’s something polished about the way you’ve styled yourself, striking a balance between playful and sophisticated. To Jungkook, though, you scream commitment. Your look isn’t meant to turn heads; it’s just confident. It’s a stark contrast to the more overtly flirty, bold style he usually goes for. That makes him curious—why would Jimin and Taehyung pick someone who seems so... relationship-minded?

“Her really?” He looked back at both of them. “Do you want to just hand me the three hundred dollars now?”

“I know you think it will be easy, but that is the type of girl who wants marriage. I think her need for a commitment is going to send you running.” Jimin rubs his hands together evilly. 

Jungkook looks back to you again, thinking. Jungkook felt like he could very well be committed, he could do it probably better than most people. He just hasn’t wanted to or hasn’t had the time too.

“I will be Mr. Marriage Material from here on out.” Jungkook downs the rest of his beer, “Be ready to put your money where your mouth is.” 

Jungkook stands up and leaves the table, they watch him go to work. Taehyung was now nervous and Hoseok was not even sure what he was watching anymore. Also confused by Jimin's choice. 

“Okay, I gotta say he has a point.” Hoseok leans back to Jimin. 

“Yeah now I’m kind of nervous.” Taehyung rubbed his neck, watching Jungkook who was waiting for an opportunity to maybe get a chance encounter with you. The two friends hovering around you weren’t making it easy. 

“Trust me. I’ve seen that girl here before.” Jimin smiles. 

“Do you know her?” Hoseok raised an eyebrow to him, now even more curious. 

“Not at all, but I tried hitting on her once. Very sweet, turned me down though. Seriously, the moment I walked up she read me like an open book.” This was earlier this year and Jimin didn’t care, he had some personal things going on and did it on a whim. You immediately saw through his tactics and called him out on it. 

“What did she do?” Taehyung became nervous. 

“I tried hitting her with a line, and she just looked at me and laughed. Honestly, I might’ve been offended if she hadn’t been so sweet about it. She even apologized! Said she could tell I wasn’t serious. Sent me on my way before I could even react. I swear, I was a little dizzy afterward.”

“Oh wow.” Hoseok is putting the pieces together now. “Okay, I see, so she is going to see through Jungkook right away.”

“Exactly,” Jimin raises his glass, “If he gives off even a whiff of insincerity. She won’t give him the time of day. She very clearly wants someone who is into the long term relationship game and Jungkook… never will be.”

“So you’re not concerned, not even a little bit?” Taehyung asks one more time. 

“Not even slightly.” Jimin clinked his glass against Taehyungs.

“So how is this going to work?” Ronnie looks between you and Jin.

“I’m not sure. What else do you know about him?” You look to Jin for advice on this. You came here sometimes but you weren’t as much of a frequent flier as Jin. 

“Hmm, unfortunately I usually see him hit on girls who are more… obviously here for something casual.” He gestures towards another girl at the bar, she was dressed very differently than you were. More revealing, nothing wrong with that but it was starkly different to your look. 

“So maybe it's a lost cause?” You frown.

“Absolutely not.” Ronnie protested waving her hand back and forth.

“Just means you might have to be the bold one. Instead of him coming to you, you go after him.” Jin nodded and rubbed his chin. 

You stifled a laugh, “Yeah right.” Not like you couldn’t approach someone but it was still nerve racking. “I can’t do that.” 

“It’ll be so easy. Looks he’s already coming over to the bar.” Ronnie nodded her head in his direction very subtly. You take a look from the corner of your eye and it was true. You turned your head pretending to see something else but catching a glance at him standing at the end of the bar, waiting. 

Jungkook sees you look his direction and pretends to be occupied with something else.

“Okay well if this is going to work, shew.” You wave your hands for the both of them to head back to the table, you take an empty spot in front of the bar. 

“Do you really think she can go up to him?” Ronnie nudged Jin, both of them push their way back to the table where Namjoon had been waiting. 

“Definitely. Well… normally I’d say no but she’s so determined I think she can pull it off.” Jin looks back at you ordering another drink. 

Once they both make it back to the table Namjoon takes notice, “Did she find someone?” 

“Yes, he’s so cute.” Ronnie gushes. 

“Too bad she has to get rid of him.” Jin shrugs as they all take their places and watch you from afar. 

“I know.” Ronnie sighs.

“So what’s the plan?” Namjoon raises an eyebrow. 

“She’s working up the courage to go up to him. I’ve seen the guy around before and he’s not really into her type. So she has to be bold.” Jin explains again, he looks over to Jungkook. 

Jin takes notice that Jungkook has already noticed you. He finds it odd for a moment before he sees Jungkook start to move. 

“Unless…” Jin starts. 

“Oh looks like he’s making a move.” Hoseok gestures over to Jungkook. He pushes himself off the end of the bar to start moving to you but gets cut off by a group moving close to the bar. 

“Let the games begin.” Jimin raises his glass. “We might make our money tonight.” 

“Cross our fingers.” Taehyung chuckles and takes a sip of his drink. 

“If he doesn’t blow smoke out of his ass you guys might be in for a long month.” Hoseok tilts his head watching Jungkook try to maneuver his way over to you. You were just barely getting a drink from the bartender. 

From their end of the bar, your friends could see it happening in real time—Jungkook making his way toward you, not without some difficulty from the proximity of other people. They couldn’t help but laugh at his struggle. 

“God, he’s like a moth to a flame,” Jin chuckled, crossing his arms. “Poor guy doesn’t even know what's going to happen.”

“Doubt it,” Ronnie added, leaning forward. “Y/N’s got this in the bag. He won’t know what hit him.”

Meanwhile, you weren’t so convinced that Jungkook was actually coming for you. After all, the girl beside you fit the typical type he seemed to gravitate toward—flirty, dressed to kill, and definitely giving him the look. Still, you had a plan brewing in your mind. If he wasn’t going to make the first move, you’d force his hand.

With a slight pivot on your heel right as he came up, you forced your shoulder into his chest. Just enough to stumble.

“Oh my god.” You gasp, steadying your drink that had split on your hand, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t spill on you did I?” 

Jungkook’s initial reaction was a mix of surprise and awkward laughter. “Hey, no problem,” he said, chuckling. “Just missed the splash zone.”

“I swear I have two left feet these days.” You tuck some of your hair behind your ear. Faking your embarrassment, setting your drink down and getting a napkin.

“Well it’s a good thing I have two right feet.” Jungkook easing the tension and you laugh under your breath. 

“You always this quick on your feet?” You tilted your head, offering him your hand—the one free of any cocktail spillage. “I’m Y/N.”

“Jungkook.” He took your hand with a grin, his gaze flickering over you like he was sizing up a challenge. He didn’t let go right away.

Now that he was closer, you could really take him in. He was infuriatingly attractive—the type you’d usually avoid for your own good. The type who knew he had an edge and knew how to use it. 

Now that Jungkook could get a closer look at you, he just thought that you were pretty. Pretty hair, eyes, lips. All of you was just pretty and sweet. Could see that pink glowing heart of yours on your sleeve. 

“What brings you here?” He leaned an arm against the bar, his stance casual yet deliberate, like he was marking his territory. His gaze pinned you down, leaving you no room to escape.

“Just out with friends, a celebration of sorts.” You turn and point to them, the three of them suddenly acting like their drinks were so interesting to look at. 

“What’s the occasion?” He didn’t even glance at them; his focus was still fully on you. The intense eye contact actually makes you nervous.

“My promotion,” Smiling like it was the full truth. Or rather, the promotion standing right in front of you.

He nodded, flashing a grin. “Congrats. Big deal?”

“Very big.” You rested your hand on the bar near his, just brushing the surface between you. “What about you? Out celebrating something too?”

“Just out with friends.” Jungkook gestured back to his own group at the other end of the bar. You followed his gaze, recognizing one of the guys, though you couldn’t place from where.

“I should let you get back to them.” you teased lightly, leaning ever so slightly away from him.

He tilted his head with a grin, clearly not interested in letting you go that easily. “Why rush? I wasn’t planning to be gone long, but then I got the wind knocked out of me.”

You smirked, feeling the heat of his gaze on you as you playfully patted your shoulder. “Just practicing for my football career.”

“Not a football fan but I’d watch those games.” Jungkook was going to make some form of physical contact, which is what he would have done by now but he held back. He could tell that’s not something you would appreciate.“Let me buy you another one. Since you lost half of the that one because of me.”

“That’s very sweet.” You wanted to test the limits you had with him here, would he chase you? “But I should get back. My friends may think I ran off.” 

“So soon?” He tilted his head at your sudden retreat. 

“You seem nice,” You start and lean close, “I think I’m just looking for something… more serious.” 

“Who's to say I’m not serious?” He gives you a puzzled expression. Jungkook had done so good with women lately that it felt strange to see such a sudden retraction.

You tilted your head, a teasing smile playing at your lips. “I’ve seen you around. I know your type.”

A lie. Considering you hadn’t seen him before tonight, you wanted to see if he would bite.

“So you’ve noticed me?” He stuck his tongue into the side of his cheek. 

“I’m just saying I know your type.”

“What if I am serious? You’d be running away before you could find out.” He flirted, a boyish grin on his face that dripped confidence. He was actually nervous, and the three hundred dollar bill hanging over his head was adding some pressure.

You giggled, leaning back slightly as you took a slow sip of your drink, eyes locked on his over the rim. “You don’t strike me to be serious about much of anything.”

His gaze flicked to your lips before returning to your eyes, his voice softer now, “What if I want to prove you wrong?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Prove me wrong? You barely know me.”

He smirked, stepping a little closer, just enough to make the air between you crackle with tension. “Isn’t that half the fun? Getting to know someone new?”

“What makes you think I want to get to know you?”

“Call it intuition.”

Any other time, a guy like this coming up to you would have meant an immediate shut down from you. They were never serious, and they only ever wanted to hook up and never speak again. Tonight though Jungkook needed to be the bug caught in your web.

You pretended to mull it over, tapping the rim of your glass with your finger. “Hmm... cute line.”

“Not a line,” he shot back, more serious now. “But seriously, let me buy you a new drink?”

You were about to decline, but his eyes held yours, that quiet confidence making you hesitate just a second too long.

“Fine,” you said, sighing like you were giving in, but the small smirk tugging at your lips told him otherwise. “But you’re still going to have to work for it.”

“I plan to.” Jungkook leaned in just a fraction, his voice dropping. “Let me get your number. I’ll take you out, show you what I mean by serious.” 

You fake contemplation and act like you really needed time to think about it, sucker. You tap the rim of your glass for a moment before you reach your free hand out to him, gesturing for his phone. Jungkook takes the silent victory and pulls his phone out, opening it for you. With a few quick taps and your contact information solidified in his phone.

The deed had been done.

“Don’t disappoint me,” you said, handing it back, your tone playful but carrying an edge of warning.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Have a goodnight Jungkook.” Turning on your heel leaving him there and just letting him watch you go. You b-line straight back to your table.

Jungkook was feeling good and felt like this was going to be a breeze of a month. He had to make sure that first date went well first. He would put on his best boyfriend face forward, it’s not that he couldn’t do it like everyone thought. It’s just been a long time since he last had the chance too. 

He made his way back over to his own table, he put on a fake sad face as he took his seat back next to Taehyung. 

“Strike out did you?” Hoseok patted him on the shoulder in comfort. 

“Yeah… struck off the first day of the month.” Jungkook raised his phone, revealing your phone number. Jungkook, a smug grin on his face. 

“I’m surprised.” Jimin sat in quiet contemplation, “But it won’t last.” 

“She’s cute. You guys should have picked more carefully.” Jungkook sighed, looking back into the bar in the direction of your friends and your table. Your back was to him so he couldn’t catch a glimpse of you. 

He then remembered he still owed you a drink.

Across the bar you settled back in with your friends. 

“I caught the whale boys.” You take a small bow and small cheers round around the table. 

“Congratulations.” Namjoon cheers you, hitting his glass with yours. 

Your friends leaned in, eager for the play-by-play of your encounter. You gave them the rundown. Ronnie, the first to break the silence, grinned and raised his glass in admiration.

“That was smooth, Y/N. You had him wrapped around your finger.”

You chuckled, taking a slow sip of your drink. “It’s even better that he thinks he’s in control. There's no way he was actually serious but a fun flirt.”

Jin shook his head, a mixture of amusement and awe on his face. “You’re scary when you’re confident. I’m glad I’m on your side.”

“So what’s the next step in this little experiment of yours?” Ronnie asked, clearly invested in the unfolding drama.

“Well,” you began, swirling your drink in thought, “I wait for him to reach out. Then I’ll play it cool on the first date, get him comfortable.”

“Why play it cool?” Namjoon asked, eyebrows raised.

“Because,” you smirked, “if I’m too much, too fast, he’ll bolt. But if I ease him in, I’ll have time to start slowly being weird.”

Just then, a waitress appeared, sliding a pretty pink drink in front of you. “This one’s from the guy across the bar,” she said, nodding toward Jungkook, who was leaning against the counter, already watching you. “He said you’d know him.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the boldness. Lifting the glass slightly, you gave him a small, acknowledging wave, your friends immediately picking up on the gesture.

“What’s it called?” you asked, eyes still locked on Jungkook.

The waitress grinned. “It’s a Cosmic Encounter.”

“How pretty.” you muttered, a playful smirk forming. You brought the glass to your lips, not breaking eye contact with Jungkook as you took a sip. The sweetness of the drink contrasted sharply with the building tension between the two of you.

If the circumstances were different you may let yourself swoon at the gesture. Picking a cute drink for you. You may try to see if you really could get him to be serious. This was not that though, this was all business and you would have to continue to remind yourself.

Ronnie was the first to speak up again, a wide grin spreading across his face. “I’ll admit, he’s got moves.”

“Just don’t forget this is what he does.” Jin knowing how you are, felt the reminder needed to be put out there. That this is all temporary.

Just as you were about to continue, your phone buzzed softly in your hand. A text. Your eyes drifted down to the screen, and sure enough, it was Jungkook.

Jungkook: Hope you like it… when are you free next?

You couldn’t help the smirk that spread across your lips. “Speak of the devil.”

Namjoon leaned over. “Already? He really wasted no time.”

“Faster than I thought,” you admitted, typing a quick reply. 

:We’ll see, Jungkook. Maybe I’m busy.

The thrill of the chase was intoxicating, and as you sent the message, you could feel the game picking up speed. Both of you were circling each other, waiting for the right moment to strike.

You had no doubt, you were going to eat Jungkook alive.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

Taglist! : @vashimperial @httpjeonlicious @rinkud @vintagemoonsstuff @marimarvelfan @loomipee @leah-rose03 @irhdifartzamfyaa @smwhrinthehaze @tteokbokibyjk

[hotvintagepoll]

Peter Lorre (The Maltese Falcon, Arsenic and Old Lace, Casablanca)—to me he DEFINES scrungle hes the first person i think of every time the term comes up! i want to fold him up like a paper accordion and put him in my pocket. guy that spawned a million voice artists and impersonators. they made a ghost version of him for halloween cereal staple boo berry. bewitched by his nervous mania and tooth gap <3 (for the purposes of propaganda im linking a photo from his extremely short appearance in muscle beach party bc ive been obsessed w it for years and i couldnt find any video for it :/ anyway imagine youre frankie avalon spending the whole movie battling a bodybuilder faction thats taking over your beach and your girl and then you find out this fucking guy is their mastermind mystery leader and hes stronger than all the bodybuilders combined. like Huh. What.)

Tony Randall (Lover Come Back, Pillow Talk)—he's SO TIRED he's three-wheeling ALL THE TIME on rock and doris's shenanigans and he is always SMALL. PATHETIC. INHERENTLY FILLED WITH ENNUI. i feel like all these 60s comedies are very Straight Laced and Heterosexual and yet somehow tony randall is always there having the worst day ever.

This is round 1 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Peter Lorre

he's pretty much the archetype of the scrungly little guy. the blueprint. the example by which all other scrungly little guys are judged

The perfect sniveling character actor, “scrungly” is the first word that comes to mind when I think of him.

The entire point of his iconic role in Casablanca (apart from introducing the central plot mcguffin) was to be LITTLE and SCRUNGLY to make Bogie look even cooler. And Maggot in Corpse Bride - the littlest scrungliest guy in that film - was a parody of him.

I think Arsenic and Old Lace is his quintessential "scrungly" performance. He's so put-upon and tired...all he wants is sleep and some schnapps! I love the way his shoulders fall slowly when he thinks he's caught (he looks like a sad puppy!), only to gleefully sprint out the door when he realizes how dumb those police officers are.

Between his big eyes, wheezy laugh, short stature, and expressive faces, Peter Lorre achieved icon status as the scrungliest, littlest guy in Hollywood. His scrungly little guy energy was often contrasted with the more typical masculinity of the leading man, but whether this contrast was meant to make him seem especially sinister, comedic, or pathetic, it always left an unforgettable impression!

I'm sure somebody else has already submitted him (if not then ???) but he's a cute kind of scrungly little guy. He's got a distinctive nasal voice with an accent that is instantly recognizable and often imitated. His later horror movies are so much fun, especially when he's playing off of Vincent Price. He's so good at being unhinged, creepy, or manic, but also pathetic and sympathetic.

Classic scrungly hollywood golden age little guy who was friends with Humphrey Bogart and still played some of the wettest most sniveling characters ever committed to celluloid (complimentary) there is a deep despair and darkness in many of his characters that enhances his scrungly

To be clear, I am one of those people who will argue that Lorre is one of the most underrated film actors, but the POINT is that he's also just a scrungly delight. A delightfully pocket-sized man. Somehow endearing even when he is being actively amoral (see esp. Casablanca. "I found myself much more reasonable!") The faces he makes while doing the Russian cossack dance with a butter knife between his teeth in Silk Stockings make me laugh just thinking about them.

Wikipedia described his typical characters as "timidly devious", lots of weird little villains and evil sidekicks that are pretty horrifying but still manage to be sort of pathetic and the very definition of "poor little meow meow". His look and voice and mannerisms are so iconic they're still imitated

Cartoons for the next century have and will continue to include Peter Lorre-esque characters when needed to up the scrunge factor (see Bugs Bunny and so many more).

[editor's note on below link: I'm not actually sure how many of these characters are directly influenced by Peter Lorre, so take with a grain of salt. tw for suicide.]

The poster boy for Scrungly. Everyone who wants to draw a scrungly guy draws Peter Lorre. Gomez Addams of The Addams Family was based on him

Tony Randall

"you had everything going for you! poverty!! squalor!!!!" "girls again!!! what's this obSESSion you have with giRLS???"

[morgan-tha-gorgan]

Something I don't see enough people talking about is how Deadpool and Wolverine isn't so much a starting point as it is a send off to an era of movies of which we will never see again.

I recently watched the first Xmen movie and it feels so completely different to what we have today. It was almost like it was embarrassed to call itself a superhero movie and instead was going for sleek action movie, which was quite popular in the late 90's and early 20-aughts. It felt like everyone was wearing black jumpsuits because they were afraid they wouldn't be taken seriously by mainstream movie goers. (Another common theme of the time period).

Jump to 24 years later and it is a very different world. Not only do we have grown people crying in theaters over Wolverine's classic yellow suit, but people went wild when he pulled on his mask...could you see people in 2000 having that kind of reaction to that mask? No. The movie would have been dead on arrival. Comic fans would have ate the shit up. But I don't think mainstream audiences were ready for that sincere of a choice in wardrobe. It took us 24 years to get to where Hugh Jackman could wear that suit, and I think it was worth the wait.

The credit scene clips from the past 25ish years of Xmen movies and other Fox productions made me cry, not just bc of the song choice (the universal song used to invoke nostalgia) but because you saw how much they loved making those movies. That they were always fun to make. And even though no one had yet cracked the formula on how to put superheros on film, they put their whole pussies into it. And some results were great and some we still kinda use as punchlines to this day. And yet, both were represented in Deadpool and Wolverine in a loving way. Electra was not nearly as beloved as Blade. But I still heard both characters getting a cheer when they appeared.

It is possible they will make a second Deadpool and Wolverine movie. But I don't think it was the intention. Ryan Reyolds and Hugh Jackman both met on the set of Xmen Origins: Wolverine. Ryan was so taken with his character he spent the next 7ish years trying to force it into existence. Whereas Hugh spent those same 7ish years playing the same character and was happy to put him to rest. It just so happens they both wanted to make this movie together. And bc they were some of the original actors from the beginning of the genre, the movie ended up being about their friendship, with some sendoffs to old favorites who maybe never got to be in the limelight the way they did.

This movie deftly mixes sincerity with humor. It doesn't make fun of the audience for what they like. Instead it respected our love for these characters and their stories. No matter how weird or ridiculous they may seem on the surface, there is a heart and a love there between writers, actors, and audience.

And they got that. Shawn Levy, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman really got it. And so this movie was a love letter to all superhero movies: the ones we hold dear to our hearts regardless of how "succesful" they were.

It is like what Movies with Mikey says, "Every movie is a miracle," and Deadpool and Wolverine celebrate that.

[thepersonperson]

Thoughts on JJK's ending and my Dream/Delusion Theory being wrong.

Original Theory

Follow-Up on Characters Feeling OOC

(Written using TCBscans. Click images for captions/citaitons.)

Preface

I want to say that this ending could’ve worked if it were given more time. The majority of my complaints are the rushing which I mostly blame exploitation at the hands of the manga industry and predatory contracts.

Here are my original thoughts on JJK 268 when it released and JJK 269 when it released. I've basically reverted to those opinions.

Examining JJK 268–271 as Presented

When the last chapter of Umineko came out, its author Ryukishi07 very much spat in the faces of fans. He mocked them mercilessly and it was glorious. Every single criticism he lobbed at them was warranted because he targeted the fans that refused to see the love he put into his work or engage with the story on its terms.

“Without love, it cannot be seen.”

Ryukishi gave you all the tools to solve the mystery. He told you exactly how to do it. And yet some weren’t satisfied. They wanted everything neatly handed to them in a bow. Ryukishi denied them that simple ending in favor of sticking to his vision and rewarding the fans that accepted Umineko for what it was.

I have my own issues with the ending, but none of my complaints are related to that. I can also say with confidence what happens is completely in character, it’s just not something I personally vibe with.

When I read JJK 268–271 I feel that same creator frustration. I see Gege’s fatigue with fans who care only about the surface level presentation and nothing else. There’s been so much fun setups and follow throughs. So many subtle characterizations and symbolism that goes unnoticed by those who are unwilling to see the love Gege puts into his craft.

“JJK fans can’t read.” This is a fandom joke that is very true. A massive part of the fanbase ignores subtlety and gets upset or confused by Gege following through on it. The entire Sukuna battle was like that. You could pick out all the reasoning behind their actions if you paid close attention.

But then we get JJK 269 where Gege does something he's never done before—over-explain everything bluntly in a way that adds more plot holes and hinders character development. It feels like Gege is going “You don’t understand what I put down? Ok fine! Here are the answers!” It feels like getting to tell those fans off was more important than everything else.

Instead of doing a Ryukishi where he tears into uncharitable critics and rewards those who gave him a chance, Gege just abandons it all and makes an ending that won’t fully satisfy anyone. 

With my theory, I decided to look past everything I hated. I decided to trust that if a mistake was made, Gege would call it out like usual. I decided to trust that the inconsistent locations were intentional because Gege has not once ever flubbed them. I decided to trust the clever set up and follow through that’s always been there, even when Gege’s health problems were at their worst.

I decided to look at Gege’s work with love and my heart was trampled for it. My post now serves as glaring proof the ending is botched and nothing makes sense. All the plotholes I found solutions for are bigger than ever. JJK 269 in its entirety is utterly pointless narratively. It could’ve been spent on political fallout, grief, or villain backstories, but instead it reads like a defensive Reddit post.

JJK 271 isn't Satisfying

JJK 271 made everything about JJK 269 worse and then added some more nonsense. Sukuna’s last appearance really sucked for me. I found his entire interaction with Mahito to be grossly OOC.

Mahito is a character who finds humans disgusting and doesn’t care about their opinions or what they do. They also don’t like Sukuna. When Jogo believes that the age of curses needs Sukuna to work, Mahito says they can surpass him. The very idea that Mahito would be upset by Sukuna becoming more human goes against their entire established character.

And more continuity errors!

This conversation is actually their 4th. Here are the other 3:

Sukuna warning Mahito not to touch him.

Sukuna punishing Mahito for touching him.

And Mahito telling Sukuna to shut up and watch him be even better.

Their relationship was antagonistic and Mahito desired a world without Sukuna. Why would Sukuna be with them in the afterlife?

And if Sukuna was going to change his mind it should’ve been with someone he cared about. Jogo and Gojo would’ve been great candidates. Or you know…it could’ve been Uraume themself. In the way Yuji voiced his feelings to Megumi and reached out to him, Sukuna could’ve done the same with Uraume. It could’ve been a thing that expanded more on their relationship and how it came to be. But Uraume doesn’t even get to voice how they feel about anything.

What we get is Sukuna talking to someone he doesn’t like about his emotional issues he has been suppressing and then deciding to live for a person whose history we know nothing of.

I knew him being an unwanted child screwed him up. But that kind of stuff takes a long, long time to unpack. And Sukuna, up until this point has given no indication he was ready to acknowledge his trauma, just like Gojo. Even in the end Gojo can’t admit to Toji and Geto traumatizing him. Sukuna knowing his heart and being so casually open about it just flies in the face of the subtle characterization that existed up until that point. (I wanted Hidden Inventory Arc type reveal you know! But tell not show is prevailing seemingly out of spite.)

He dies stubborn and hateful towards Yuji. He lies to him about feeling nothing and not liking flowers. For him to turn around in death and go I was wrong the entire time no problem to someone he has an antagonistic relationship with is extremely OOC because it wasn't earned. 

And since when did Sukuna fear his own curse? When was that ever hinted? All that was suggested was Sukuna having a rough childhood and being exploited by others until he had enough.

Even for all the characters that survived, this isn’t a satisfying ending. Their coping with trauma is unrealistic and contradicts earlier characterization. Their relationships are not explored further. All their arcs or goals are neglected, save Yuji. Nobara didn’t even get to meet up with her childhood friends like she always wanted to. Just the mom letter.

It’s also jarring to see that a series that began with mourning, a series that made itself different by having children deal realistically with traumatic things, end where that heart no longer exists. We have so many characters who are explicitly motivated by their trauma. And we get to see them cope with it in their unique ways and still choose to chase joy through the hurt. 

And these final 4 chapters? It’s gone. Yuta being so distressed over everyone treating Gojo like an object and not acknowledging his personhood? Gone. Megumi, Yuji, and Nobara sucking at dealing with death? Gone. They all act like none of it really mattered and won’t affect them for the rest of their lives. Those who were lost are forgotten quickly and their efforts are not remembered. (At this point, everyone ignoring Choso hurts worse than Gojo tbh.)

The Totally Not Kenjaku surviving decapitation and brain eating makes no sense if that's real. And the implications from that are horrible. All Gojo wanted to do was mourn Geto’s body. All we wanted was to see someone mourn him or acknowledge his efforts. I was hoping they’d be buried together. The idea that Geto’s body is possibly being used by a the master manipulating rapist while everyone is ok with that sickens me. (Does any remember Choso?! But hey, let’s kill all the incarnated culling game players who were victims of manipulation or outright helpful to the protagonists’ victory!)

It’s also why Mei Mei surviving and going unpunished or criticized for her treatment of Ui Ui sucks to see. And I guess while we’re at it. Kusakabe really did tell a 15 year old to his face he should’ve died. (And he was wrong about that like the higher ups. Yuji and Sukuna were a backup plan and the fingers were getting stronger all on their own. Gojo was the only adult who took productive action against it.)

The revolution really did die with Gojo. His dreams were good and noble. Resetting the Jujutsu Society and its exploitation was needed. But he gives up on them and asks to be forgotten. It's done in a way that feels like Gege is addressing his fans directly and telling them to get over him too.

I knew Gojo was suicidal, don’t get me wrong, but he was characterized as someone who had a hard time understanding that others did care about him. I was hoping for the revelation his intuition was wrong via a funeral or mourning. That didn't happen and it breaks my heart. 

Yuta tried to empathize with him. We see it with the Yujo plot that goes nowhere except to disrespect Gojo’s body one last time. We don't even get to know if he was cremated or buried or how Yuta felt about that experience. It is extremely hard to see this all as anything but Gege expressing resentment for Gojo’s popularity.

And I’ll give Gege credit for that. The only theme that stayed consistent was Gojo being seen as an object to be exploited by everyone, except Sukuna. (I’m not even sure if I can include Yuji and Yuta in the cares deeply for Gojo anymore. It’s so OOC for them to be like this that I want to ignore it.)

The balance of the world changed when Gojo was born. We had several chapters dedicated to how this impacted various people's lives from Toji to random curse users. His death should be just as impactful.

But you know. Kenjaku was proven right. The cycle of curses will continue on because the systemic problems were never dealt with. 

The conditions that allowed for Yuji and Sukuna to be created still exist.

Reflection

I understand why people like myself want to reject this ending. It doesn’t feel like Gege put love into it. All the fun little quirks this series had are flattened and discarded in what feels like spite. Not even the final battle has the fun energy that was present just 4 chapters ago. 

I’ve decided that I’ll accept these last 4 chapters for what they are, but reject everything they stand for. They’re more interesting to discuss and pick apart than actually read…which ironically is how I feel about Umineko’s final chapter.

And speaking of Umineko… My favorite thing about the reaction to my Dream/Delusion Theory was this—the people who said, if they can’t handle what’s in the catbox, this is their canon. 

The fans who love the series and want to weave their own tales based on this in a way that helps others cope, please tag me in your creations. (Especially you @rosemaryreality!) It’s all incredibly Umineko and I’m forever grateful I got to experience the Rokkenjima Incident in real time.

Very important to Umineko’s themes, there was a common sentiment type across those that were dismissive of my theory vs those who were receptive to it—their perception of the mangaka, Gege.

To those that believed Gege was a bad writer, the idea that he could be clever and put love into this series was impossible to them, and therefore my theory was impossible. To those that had faith in Gege as a writer, my theory was solid, even if it needed a little tweaking.

I had the most fun with those who cited manga at me to make corrections like @runabout-river. Or those who wanted clarification on the holes I missed.

The ones that were entirely dismissive? It was boring. Their arguments mostly amounted to “Gege bad”. (I won't post screenshots here because I don't want them harassed, but they are there if you want to verify them.) Not a single person offered me an interpretation where the events were literal and took place in reality using manga panel citations in a way that tied it all into JJK’s themes and characters.

That disappointed me immensely. I wanted someone to prove to me my reasoning was wrong with a similar methodology. Instead they drew rebuttals stemming from their perceived flaws or outright dislike of Gege.

This is quite literally what happens in Umineko. It’s a murder mystery that can only be solved if you consider love. Both the love within the characters themselves and the love the author has put into his creation.

Is it magic or is it a simple trick? Is it a delusion or is it reality? Depending on how you answer and solve the mystery, your interpretation of the story itself changes too. 

I wound up being wrong of course, and Gege really did screw up everything in the end. But while that delusion was real? I had a blast.

I’ll be forever grateful to everyone that proved Ryukishi right about Umineko’s core theme.

[neyafromfrance95]

what's wrong with haladriel tag today? everyone is spreading hate or getting baited by the antis. doom and gloom. only a few posts are of the shippers goofing or discussing the ep in a way that doesn't feel like the show ended haladriel for good.

yeah, idk. i try to not scroll down the tag nowadays. i finished the episode and it was fine to me. i understand everyone's complaints and frustrations as i myself wished for sauron to see galadriel being in captivity at least (and my main issue is galadriel's shortened screentime), but i feel like we might be overreacting a bit and ruining our own shipping experience?

what saddens me the most is that i don't see the fan creations getting appreciated. the shippers would make great gifsets, edits, art - no reblogs. write fics - no comments or kudos. maybe the fandom is still small but i look at the stuff from s1 and it had so much more interaction and encouragement from other shippers.

even the metas from s1 aren't all about "when will celeborn appear and can galadriel be shipped with sauron when she is married to celeborn?" it seems like haladriels didn't give a f about that forced discourse back then and were just wholly enjoying the ship.

as i've said, i think elrond kiss is not the worst thing for haladriels. it might indicate that celeborn won't be introduced (yet), so galadriel won't have to "go back to being his wife". elrond/galadriel won't turn any more romantic than this, at most it will be ambiguous. and they might be testing the waters for how the audiences react to canon divergence. if elrond can be galadriel's jacob, why can't sauron be her edward?

listen, so many of the most iconic ships have never kissed or were never officially a couple. if the dynamic is shippable then why stop shipping just bc a season doesn't go exactly as the fans wanted it to go in their wildest dreams? we still have s3, there still might be the mind-palace communication explored in s3. after all we know the whole show was inspired by the idea that sauron ever so gropes to see galadriel and at some point galadriel closes the door on him but he still allows her to roam his mind freely!

+ this season still was like a continuation of sauron and galadriel mirroring each other, it confirmed that galadriel has feelings for sauron and that sauron is obsessed with her. there is still one ep left where this slow-burn build-up is supposed to climax.

my point is, let's try to be more positive? and being positive isn't necessarily confined to being delulu. it means creating fan content or hyping up fan creations, it means taking what we get in the episodes and dissecting it with passion, engaging with analysis, having fun!

i have been in many other fandoms and i know that a fandom can't be longevous if it's sustained on frustration and negativity and discourse 80% of the time.

for what's it worth, let's let the creators know that we want haladriel, not that we hate the show the same way the lorebros hate it. yk?

[affableramen]

Falling in love with a non-sorcerer [Suguru Geto x Reader]

tags: angst with a fluffy ending

Geto despises non-sorcerers. It is common knowledge, and you know it well. However this man has also been extremely biased.

You walk down the park together, it is raining lightly in the evening. The both of you are walking in complete silence, almost indifference in the air between you. After several moments Geto is the first to start conversation:

“I had lots of fun today. Thank you.”

You sigh…

“What’s that look on your face?” Geto asks. He can tell that his words got under your skin. Your face irritated, and your eyes sharp as knifes glare at him. As sly as a fox Geto inquires: “You don’t believe me?” a smirk tugging in the corner of his mouth.

“Will you stop pretending? I know you hate me.”

Geto’s charming expression suddenly changes. He stops in his tracks, ruining the calm walk you had a moment ago. He drops his fake friendliness and finally admits:

“You’re right”, his tone is cold. “I despise you. You make me want to vomit. Your whole being disgusts me. After all, you’re a non-sorcerer.”

“And that immediately means I’m a bad person.”

Geto turns his face to you as his ears perk up to your suggestion.The whole lot of hate he used to have before in his dark eyes slowly subsides, and his look turns confused, softer even.

“You’re not…bad. You’re just unnecessary. Pointless. It is as simple as that.”

You shake your head, trying to brush the tears appearing in the corners of your eyes off.

“You’re so narrow-minded, Suguru.” Your voice cracks, but the tears stop as soon as they start. Your mind is busy telling yourself this man is not worth it.

“I’m not. I just dislike you all, that’s it. I wish to not discuss this anymore.”

“Fine, whatever you say.”

He rolls his eyes seeing you compliant and not even attempting to fight back. This calmness, this “good” of your character is so infuriating to him.

“I’m just stuck with you. You mean nothing to me.”

“What a wonder! You are the one holding my hand currently!”

Almost immediately, Geto pulls his hand away from you, shocked to having not noticed how he is grasping you in his own hand. He shoves his hands into the pocket, as if trying to rub off your touch and aroma.

“You touched me first.”

“Okay, whatever you say, dear.”

Seeing you casually brush off his mean words as if it were nothing, Geto feel his anger grow even more. Gritting his teeth, although trying to still keep his refrigerator-like cold composure, Geto asks:

“Now what’s your damn problem?”

“What’s your damn problem, Suguru?!”

“Don’t you dare. Call me. By my name-” he towers over you, his face red of fury, the veins threateningly pops on his forehead as he cuts the space between your bodies to the brim. “My only problem is that you are an ordinary human. A non-sorcerer. Weak, useless, pathetic, unworthy of a lock of my hair. So please, stop trying to get under my skin, stop trying to fucking understand me. ‘Cause you never will.”

“I never forced you into loving me. You’re the one who started flirting and invited me out! You’re the one who’s given yourself permission to overstep your boundaries!”

Geto laughs cooly. “Flirting, hah! Can’t believe you’re so dumb to have believed in that little show. You truly think I would ever consider intertwining my life with a non-sorcerer? I just did what I had to do to get what I wanted from you.”

“And what did you want?”

Geto’s words stab you right in the chest.

“Sex. All I ever wanted was physical.”

You do not believe his words. He feigns ignorance.

“Oh, don’t be upset. Or are you surprised I’d want something physical like sex?”

“Like hell— we don’t even do that often.”

It’s true. His explanation did not only sound mean, it was completely senseless, because you did not sleep that much together…

“Thankfully, we don’t.”

“Suguru, what do you really want from me?”

Geto takes a short moment to think. Eventually he turns away to light a cigarette.

“What I truly want… I guess it is your obedience. I love power, I love people throw themselves to my feet. Initially I wanted you to serve me, obey me. Does that answer satisfy you?” He lets a soft huff of smoke.

“You need a pet. I’m not a pet, Suguru.”

Rolling his eyes dramatically he throws his cigarette away and crosses his arms.

“I expect your compliance, behaviour and respect. Are you going to subserve into me or—”

You quietly turn around and leave. Geto watches you walk away when something aches badly in his own heart. “Wait.”

Your breath hitches. Did he just attempt to stop you? Not given enough time to overthink or act, you feel the man grab you by your shoulders, stopping you from escaping. He starts kissing you hungrily, passionately. Wrapping his arms around your waist, Geto licks your lower lip before pushing his tongue into your mouth, seeking entrance he longed to have. He moves his thin fingers from your waist to the back of your head, pulling you closer into the kiss. You respond, tasting his lips and letting him taste your own.

“This is what I want”, Geto breathes out heavily. “You have no idea how long I have ben suppressing my inner desires.”

“Sugu—”

He cuts you off, pressing you only closer to him, as if fearing you might escape his grasp again. No, he can’t let this happen, not now. Geto pushes his hot body against yours, you can feel the raise of heat in your own. While he ravishes your mouth, destroying the last bits of sanity between you two, you grab his hair and pull on it gently, not forcefully.

“I need you, for you.”

You suddenly untie his hair. Suguru’s raven locks fall onto his shoulders and some - on his face.

“Non-sorcerer-” he chokes out a moan.

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever leave me, non-sorcerer.”

“I won’t.” You desperately pull his hair, trying to sniff his aroma and pump it into you, as if addicted to his scent.

“That was rather risky, when you untied my hair, I mean.” He warns you, but allows you play with his silky hair. “No one would dare do it.”

“Then I’ll be the one who is courageous enough to touch your hair.”

A chuckle. Still suffering the aftermath of the kiss Geto speaks again, his voice shaky: “You have no idea the things I want to do with you.” He presses his forehead against yours, as if seeking comfort. “I want to be sweet with you… and I also want to wreck you. To have you come undone, scream my name, make you submit to me… But I also want to be tender, to worship your body.”

“Let me worship you too.” You say and without any warning your teeth attack Geto’s neck. You lick every single bite after, soothing the vivid sensation of your affection. He lets out an involuntary moan… However, realising that you’re in the park currently, you pull yourself into reality. Geto groans when you stop.

“We’re in a public place.”

“Damn you’re right.”

“Besides… I’m hungry.”

“Me too. Let’s get something to eat before we proceed to… what we started here.”

“Of course, Suguru. I want fries…”

“Then we’ll get you fries. Money is not problem for me.”

He smooches your cheek quickly. “And I was wrong. You should call me by my name more often.”

[tinycheesecakedetective]

Character Files #1: Blueberry Milk Cookie

Hello again! It's been a while. Today I'd like to waffle on about Blueberry for a bit. If you'll allow me to. In the past I discussed his trajectory, but I wanted to take the opportunity to update a few things and add some fun details. This post is meant to cover Blueberry's past. What will become of his kingdom will be discussed when I get to the aftermath of the Dark Flour War. Now let's begin! ~~~~~

Personality & Early Life Blueberry Milk is a scholar with a taste for thrill and has an insatiable curiosity. He's kind to others, however he has a tendency to be overdramatic and cocky. He always pushes beyond boundaries despite the consequences or risks it may pose. He's an adventurer specifically because he found traditional studying too boring and would much rather get his hands dirty with experiments. But before Blueberry Milk became the illustrious founder of the republic, he was just a student at the Parfaedia Institute of Magic. Many teachers considered him a prodigy due to his prowess and intelligence, however others dreaded teaching him due to his penchant for troublemaking.

He would graduate at the age of 17, and took on a job as a professor before quitting years later. Many would cite a lack of stakes as one of the reasons for his departure, though that was common knowledge to anyone that was close to him. Blueberry Milk would then become an independent researcher, exploring the world and doing field research.

The Kingdom's Beginnings With months of travelling under his belt, it became very clear that he needed somewhere to store all of his findings. Initially he planned to establish it back at Parfaedia, but found it too stifling for him. So he packed all of his things and began moving north. Some old colleagues heard about this and followed suit, joining him up north in what would be called "The Land of the Studious." Alongside his colleagues, they established The Congregation, a meeting hall where they could all discuss the progress made with each of their projects.

Over time, more cookies heard of this place up north and had began seeking it out to perform their own personal projects. The Land of the Studious became known among Parfaedians as a wizard's getaway, a place where students could perform magic more freely than in the Institute. With the surge of visitors, the Gelato Villas were built for incoming travelers and eventually permanent residents, and the Wafer Train Station was built soon after for easier access to and from Parfaedia, and a new school began construction. As the area expanded more and more, the Land of the Studious had changed from a small community of scientists to a bustling city-state. The Congregation evolved, with the original founders becoming council members and gaining more political power over time. Soon even the name itself had changed, now being known as New Yogurt City.

A City in Crisis As the city developed, Parfaedia began to recognize NYC as a legitimate entity outside of "tourist destination." With competition on the rise, the magic city was forced to evolve to stay relevant. More technology was implemented into daily life as a result, with new experimental magic being tested. It was all going well until everything came screeching to a halt.

The incident happened outside of the institute. It started as a few electrical malfunctions inside some of the classrooms before quickly spreading to the rest of the building. Strange rifts opened inside one of the classrooms before letting in a legion of cake monsters. Even with all wizards pushing back, they were unable to stop the rifts. More appeared, wreaking havoc across the magic city. In a final attempt to get outside help, the wizards looked to the legendary beacons and lit them.

Dozens of wizards saw the lights and answered the call, including Blueberry Milk. With additional backup, they all began to go around the city, fighting the cake armies with staffs and wands. The city lit up with magic spells and potions as the streets were enveloped with smoke. For a moment, it looked like victory was near for the wizards, until the smoke parted with a mighty shriek.

Flying over them was their last and greatest opponent: the roll cake hydra. A horrible beast with cream cheese frosting bleeding through it's teeth and seven heads to boot. While the wizards and townsfolk fought long and hard, it kept coming back harder and more angry. The terrible beast forced them to retreat into the nearby forests.

A Glimmer of Hope Tired and exhausted, the cookies tended to their wounds. Many of them had passed out from spending too much mana, and others didn't know how much longer they could go on. Splitting from the group, Blueberry Milk wandered through the woods. He began flippantly going through spell after spell, trying to find one that could stop this before he never could. In his darkest moment, a voice beckoned to him. He tried to find the source, moving further inside before it spoke again.

It asked him if he was truly determined to save Parfaedia, and he responded with a nod. Sensing his desperation, the voice offered him a deal. It would give him the power he needed to stop the hydra in exchange for defending Earthbread as a whole. With dwindling options, he agreed, and his powers were amplified. Using his newfound strength, he left to face the hydra alone.

The fight was intense. Standing in front of the hydra armed with only his staff, he launched the first blow. Taken aback by the sudden attack, the hydra was struck, backing up before lunging it's heads at the cookie.

Move.

Blueberry Milk jumped out of the way, heart racing as he looked down at his hands. He felt sharper, quicker. The hydra tried again, snapping it's neck at him as it attempted to swallow him whole.

Roll.

His body acted on impulse, rolling away from it before sending a shockwave at the monster's body. A direct hit. A grin curled up onto his face as his teammates returned, mouths agape in shock.

Again.

The fight raged on as Blueberry Milk effortlessly weaved through each attack while dealing blow after heavy blow. More onlookers came, cheering him on as the hydra grew tired and sloppy. Another set of attacks came as he pushed the hydra into a corner.

Once more.

Pouring his remaining mana into his staff, he sent one final attack aimed at the hydra's chest. The hydra, desperate to live, fought back with all it's remaining strength, but it would be of no use. The attack speared through it's chest, pushing it back into a wall before it erupted in a beautiful collage of colors and sounds.

His finest work yet. And one that made him faint. His body was quickly ushered into a recovery room. When he woke up, he found himself surrounded by friends and acquaintances. If he didn't shoo them away, they would have killed him with kindness. He also wouldn't have noticed the gleaming blue gem resting on his chest.

The Aftermath Since the attack, Parfaedia immediately began reconstruction efforts, and with the help of the NYC was able to recover almost completely. After intense discussion and meetings, the two cities agreed to join under one entity as the New Yogurt Republic. The new republic recognized the efforts of the brave wizards that defended Parfaedia as heroes, and Blueberry especially began to grow in popularity. He was eventually appointed as the leader of the republic, with a new and improved council by his side, and with their combined efforts helped to usher in a new golden age for both cities.

For now.

Blueberry Milk, now a wielder of the soul jam of hope, began doing research into how exactly it worked. He knew that it helped him during the fight, but something about it felt.. foreign. But Blueberry wasn't one to give up, and he began to seek out others like him for his research. His curiosity knew no bounds, and he was determined to unlock the secrets of the soul jam.

[upallnightallday]

I feel like everytime I write something on my blog that critics Tommy or the show, I get dozen Tommy lovers to my blog accusing me of being "toxic buddie shipper".

First of all, I have certain tags blocked (tevan, tommy's name, bummy etc.) so I can actually enjoy my fandom in peace. I recommend doing the same. I also block everyone coming for me after making fun of you a little.

Second of all, this is the reason why I anti tag my posts. If you like this character, my posts aren't for you. I'm not interested in having a shout off with you. Block me and move on. I am allowed to hate racist, badly written white man.

And thirth, not everything is about buddie. Do I hope it will happen? Yes. But I'm also hating Tommy for his own merit. I also am more interested for seeing Eddie's self discovery journey and excited that they have appearently leaned into Buck's ADHD.

Just because you think everything is about ships, doesn't mean everyone else is.

[charlie-thewitch]

Chapter III

⚠️Warning⚠️ Implied SA ⚠️

First

He came back. He came back. He came back. He came back. He came back. Gege came for me.

That's all that is currently running on Shen Yuan's mind. A constant stream of "Gege came back for me" and "He saved me" drowning anything else.

"Hehehe..." little giggles escape him as he looks at the other carry the demonic cultivator as if he weighed nothing at all. Grumbling about having left the cart and horse too far from the illicit encampment where the auction was being held at. Gege is so cute. All grumpy as he is.

Shen Yuan is honestly riding such a high right now. Head cottony and heavy, but unbelievably light at the same time. Is blood even getting to his head? Does he even care anymore.

He was so scared.

The guards in charge of the slaves were already taking liberties with the... Women. Some more girl than woman. And one or two kept giving him looks. The same looks that Shifu's friends would give him, that intent that makes him want to shed his skin, burn it, and wash the ashes in the river.

He... Knows, alright? He already knows men find him pretty enough. He knows what those looks mean. He also knows where to kick and where to stab to make them stop. But the fear reflex never leaves, neither do the nightmares.

But he was unarmed. They took his knifes and his poisons and his cultivation! He was prey again. Was vulnerable and scared like before. Before he managed to trick Shifu into training him and letting him keep weapons at all. What is the use of cultivation if he is helpless at the mere presence of a fucking rope.

...But Gege came for him.

Shifu used to make fun of him with that. Laughing and laughing at how not even his twin wanted him, not even his parents.

Poor little orphaned slave; couldn't save anyone, not even his mother, nor his brother, nor his sister.

"Why did you stop walking. Come here and be usefull" Gege quips, and it takes him back to reality enough to notice they are in a little clearing. Completely surrounded by trees a simple horse-pulled cart waits for them with said horse tied to a tree a little ways of the side. It's brown, with white spots and appears to be calmly eating the fresh grass. Shen Yuan is immediately smitten.

"Cute!" He doesn't even aknowledge Gege's orders to not move and don't touch things because he is already across the clearing, offering his hand to the horse to sniff at. He- She? Is so cute and calm, already letting him caress her muzzle affectionately. "Such a good girl. So tranquil and elegant. What pretty lashes you have"

"I just fucking told you to not touch anything" Gege walked swiftly to where Shen Yuan was getting to know the mare, taking her reins brusquely to walk her back to the cart. He doesn't even look at Shen Yuan, hasn't for a while.

It's fine, Shen Yuan knows Gege doesn't want him, no one does. He is usefull. Nothing more, nothing less. Gege wants to know about his past and probably will kick him out of his sect after he gets it and that's ok. Why would Gege keep him anyways? Shen Yuan may have a little cultivation but he could bet a novice disciple of one of those fancy sects could kick his ass in seconds!

And that is seriously fine. Shen Yuan has a plan after all. He just thought of it but a plan is a plan!

He just needs to find a way to be usefull a little longer. He has maybe 4 memories about their mother and that'll last him maybe a week if he reveals them bit by bit. After that he needs something else to get Gege to keep him a little while longer, but it's definitely a start.

If he can get Gege to get attached to him maybe Shen Yuan can even see him once in a while! Maybe Gege's sect needs servants? He knows how to do that. Perhaps he isn't a great cook but cleaning is easy enough, he's been doing it for decades after all.

"Get on"

Shen Yuan is starting to notice Gege is very bossy.

He doubts Gege will want him to sit next to him on the drivers seat so Shen Yuan climbs onto the cart from behind. Maybe he steps on the demonic guys dick, maybe not. It's not like he can protest anyways. Shen Yuan sits as close as he can to his brother without touching him.

"Ready" Gege doesn't answers, but Shen Yuan is starting to guess their first conversation was the outlier and his brother actually talks very little.

Prev - Next

[twinksrepository]

A Blissful Stroll

ating: 18+

Pairing: Lucifer X F!Reader

CW: Smut, Possessive, talk of sex, hot tub sex, penis in vaginal sex, creampie, sex with feelings, unintentional voyeurism, naked, slight BDSM talk

Word count: Roughly 4K

A/N: You can't sleep, and run into Mammon and Lucifer while in the world between worlds. Going for a stroll with Lucifer makes the most sense and you get a surprise you weren't expecting.

Also known as Twink thought of this during the Dark Eternal Bliss event and finally got around to writing it. There might also be one with Diavolo in the near future. We'll see.

Images belong to Solmare.

Tossing and turning on the futon you give up on falling asleep, as much as you’re used to sleeping in different places the thin bedding is just a bit too thin for you to drift off to slumberland easily. Carefully pulling your clothes on, trying to keep the noise down since it sounds as if no one else has the same problem as you right now. 

When you make it to the street you’re just as careful with the door, letting out a soft sigh as the chill of the night air starts to seep along your bare skin. 

Jumping when a warm palm lands on your shoulder and your heart does a double thump, almost screaming at the top of your lungs. Almost. Because after several days here you know it’s someone from your little group of oddballs that just scared the living daylights out of. 

“Ah, oops. Didn’t mean ta scare ya like that.” With a hand on your chest, you turn to face Mammon who doesn’t look all that sorry, if anything he looks excited. “Out for a little midnight treasure huntin’ huh? That’s pretty cunnin’ of ya.” 

At least now you have an idea why the house was so quiet, it sounds more like he’s the one out for some hunting. Giving your head a shake about to tell him you couldn't sleep, only for a deeper voice to speak for you. 

“As if our Little Lamb wouldn’t entertain such frivolous ideas.” Lucifer appears from just inside the house, if you didn’t know any better you’d suspect he heard you getting dressed. “If you can’t sleep, then why not join me for a stroll instead?” He one hundred percent heard you. 

“Pfft, lookin’ for riches with me be way more fun.” Letting out a soft chuckle as you smile at the two of them. Both offers of time alone with them are tempting, but running around looking for treasure with Mammon doesn’t sound like it’s going to help you sleep like the stroll will. 

“Sorry Mams, maybe next time.” Giving his hand a squeeze in condolences as you pass him to stand beside Lucifer. 

“In that case, bestest big bro, you’d better come back before curfew.” You’d laugh at what he says without saying anything. A thinly veiled threat to not keep you out too late, which is rather funny coming from the House of Lamentations resident troublemaker.

“You’re the one most likely to break it. Don’t go causing any trouble.” Sighing with his arms folded across his chest and one of his eyebrows raised. 

“Sure, whatever.” Turning on his heels away from the pair of you with his hands raised. “See ya tomorrow, and don’t let him get too handsy.” A parting shot directed at his brother that has you giggling behind your hand while Lucifer just shakes his head at Mammon’s antics. 

“Shall we?” Holding out your arm as if offering it to Lucifer, watching a brief roll of his eyes at your antics now. Instead of taking it, he slips his arm under yours so he can intertwin your fingers as he starts guiding you down the street and away from your temporary home. 

“It’s almost funny.” His deep voice seems to carry just a bit more in the silent town, you might find it eerie if you weren’t enjoying the warmth seeping from his fingers into yours. 

“What is?” Curious as you let Lucifer lead you along the main drag of the empty town, tracing your thumb along his thumb and index finger. It’s uncommon to feel the dry skin normally clad in leather. 

“Despite being flung to another world without warning, my brother’s behavior hasn’t changed a bit.” He’s not wrong, if anything the only change you noticed was that underlying worry you all seemed to share about trying to get back home. “I suppose it’s because you’re here with us.” 

“Come on, Lucifer.” It’s your turn to shake your head in disbelief even if your face starts to warm. “You guys spent centuries without me, I doubt me being here is making that much of a difference.” 

“There you go with the self depreciation again.” Surprised when he comes to a sudden stop near a bridge and uses your hand to get you to turn and face him. Those crimson orbs have that look of admonishment in them once again. “You’ve always been our cornerstone since you arrived in our lives, grounding us through even the most trying situations.” Raising his free hand to slide it against the apple of your cheek, smiling as you unconsciously start to nuzzle into his palm. “I trust that shows how much you mean to everyone.”

“I’m not really sure I’d call myself a cornerstone.” His eyes start to narrow at your low tone and you let out a short chortle of laughter. “Having all of you nearby always makes me feel safe, so maybe it has more to do with that shared feeling. Being a cornerstone feels like a lot of pressure.” Trying to stop him from a lecture about your bad habits.

“It could be.” Agreeing you watch as something in his eyes shifts, something that has your heart beating faster in your chest. “Just remember, you never have to shoulder everything on your own. I’ll always be here for you.” 

“Oh?” Grinning now, you tilt your face and reach up to grasp his wrist in your hand, keeping his palm in place as you give the meatier part of his hand just under his thumb the briefest press with your lips. “Do I mean that much to you? Personally? So much that you offer to share whatever burden I have?” Teasing him as you flutter your eyelashes. 

Only for Lucifer to surprise you, breaking free from your loose hold and releasing your hand, with a few quick tugs you find yourself with your back against his chest and his arms forming a cage. With the new position you’re on the bridge with his hands resting on the guardrail, both of you looking down at the reflection of the moon on the shifting surface. His breath fanning out across the shell of your ear. “So, you’ve decided to play dumb?” That edge of possessiveness is back in his voice. The one that makes your knees wobble and your throat go dry. “Very well, if you want to hear me say it, I will.” 

Guiding his hands from the wooden beam and crossing them over your body, leaning more of his chest along your back until there’s barely any space between the two of you. The tip of his nose ghosting along the shell of your ear, all you can hear is the raspiness of his breathing while you watch the watery reflection of the two of you. His eyes even through the slopped surface are like two burning embers. “I would chase you to the ends of the earth-whether that happens to be the Devildom, the human world, or somewhere else entirely.” 

It’s hard not to swallow as he whispers in your ear low enough that your stomach clenches. “No matter where you go, I will be right behind you, ready to drag you back to where you belong. No being, demonic or otherwise, will keep me from you.” As if to punctuate his words his arms tighten, not enough to hurt but certainly enough to reinforce his words. “And don’t you dare forget it.” 

Even without the chance of someone walking by the hear him, Lucifer still won’t utter those three words in public. His pride getting in the way even now, but you don’t have the same worry. “I love you too, Lucifer.” Watching his grin grow at your soft words is worth it. Sliding your hands to his arms to get him to loosen his hold on you just enough so you can turn around and face him. “And don’t you forget that.” Shifting your heads so your lips can connect in a tender kiss, one that doesn’t last yet is still laced with emotions. 

You lose track of time for how long the two of you stand like that, it’s only when you start to shiver that Lucifer creates some space. “Come along, let’s finish our stroll.” Staying close to you as if to ward off the chill, and after a few minutes it feels like he’s guiding you somewhere. 

“Lucifer?” Trying to keep your tone even. “Are you taking me somewhere?” 

“A surprise.” Taking another turn before stopping in front of a building that has two entrances.  “I found it earlier today.” 

“Did you seriously find a bathhouse?” Oh, how Asmodeus would have killed to be here soaking in the water. 

“Better.” Thoughts of his brother leave your head as he leads you through the door on one side and back towards the changing area which he skips in it’s entirety. Stopping when he reaches the pool of water, steam rising from the slightly murky surface.

“Ok.” You admit with a laugh. “This is better.” Leaning in to kiss the side of his cheek. “But not better than your declaration on the bridge.” Sporting one of those rare happy Lucifer grins he joins you in a short round of laughter.

“I thought this might help you relax and sleep.” Starting to remove his clothes and folding them to form a neat pile just under the edge of the overhang of the building. As much as you’d like to just stand there and watch him to enjoy the show you’d rather just join him. Plus the idea of the warm water surrounding your skin sounds heavenly right now. 

Lucifer doesn’t take as long as you do, stopping to help you disrobe before taking your hand and helping you down the slick stones. Letting out a sigh of relief as the heat started to seep into your skin right away, and you settled in next to him. “I might have been wrong.” Pausing as he raises one of his eyebrows at you quizzically. “This might be better than you admitting you’d chase after me.” 

A short splash of water is sent your way as he feigns annoyance, it doesn’t last as he curls his arm around the small of your back to tug you closer so your sides are touching. “You truly enjoy trying my patience.” 

“You like having someone keeping you on your toes while not causing trouble.” Letting out a soft snort while letting your head lean against his shoulder, sinking more into the warm water. 

“The fact you think you don’t cause me trouble is audacious.” Feeling his exhale along the top of your forehead before he places his lips there. “The number of times you’re the instigator instead of one of my brothers is laughable.” His voice was tender and you didn’t miss the feeling of him smiling against your skin.  

“You wouldn’t have it any other way.” Lifting your hand from the water to rest your palm atop his chest while curling your other hand under the gap between his back and the rock wall. 

“You don’t allow me much choice, Lamb.” You let that statement hang in the air, far more interested in the heat seeping along your skin and into the muscles of your back that were sore from the thinner material that served as your bed. 

It’s nice, just sitting there with Lucifer as his fingers trail along your side under the water a random pattern only he knows etched into your skin. Listening to the swaying of the tree branches in the wind and the sound of his slow breathing. “A bottle of Demonus, a record player, and a cursed record to listen to, this place might feel like home.” 

“Demonus?” Chuckling as he tilts his head more to the side, allowing him better access to the skin of your forehead. “It’s nice of you to think of my preference, however, why do I get the feeling you’d rather a bottle to get me drunk?” His hand slides lower to grip your hip as he whispers his question. 

“I was just thinking of it because you enjoy it.” Craning your neck back so you can look into his eyes, internally grinning at the hint of lust in that adoring gaze. “But now that you’ve brought it up, you are more…” Trailing off as you try to think of the right word.

“Easily taken advantage of?” Chuckling the words himself while you shake your head in the negative. 

“Submissive.” One of those black eyebrows of his raising as if he can’t believe that’s what you went with. “Oh don’t look at me like that.” Giving his butt a quick squeeze under the water. “I mean you’re more likely to let me have the reins instead of just railing me with you doing all the work. You don’t often give me control.” 

“That’s because half the time you get flustered and don’t know what to do.” Feeling the tips of your ears warm, he’s got you there. 

“I’m trying to learn! I’m just…” Trailing off again as your voice lowers until the final words are a whisper. “Not used to that kind of stuff.” By stuff you mean all the ropes and whips he likes to use, vanilla sex, and a few kinks? You’re good. But tying Lucifer up and edging him until he’s a panting whining mess wanting you to degrade about being forced him to cum on his own stomach instead of inside you? 

Yea, you weren’t quite all that confident at that yet. 

As in the farthest you’d gotten was the second denied orgasm and him making a noise you thought was pain and you having to use the safe word because you couldn’t handle the idea of hurting him. He’s never been upset with you not being able to dominate him as your relationship progressed to the point where he wanted you to be in control, a role he so rarely relinquished. But you had this lingering feeling every time after that he was disappointed. 

“You’ll get there my love.” Closing the distance to seal his lips over yours for a quick passionate kiss. “Perhaps we need to work on your skills at the less intense levels more.” Letting out a yelp as you’re quickly scooped up and deposited so you’re straddling his legs while he leans back against the rock wall, your hands on his shoulders to keep yourself balanced. “Tell me what you want, Master.” 

That one word took you from relaxed to aroused in three point five seconds, the amount of time it took for your brain to catch up to what he meant. Your face feels like an inferno as you look down at the water instead of his face. “I swear when you say that Lucifer.” Groaning before you catch his eyes again. “You’re trying to get me all worked up.” 

“If it gets the job done.” Sporting a grin that would look less out of place on his demonic form with his horns. “Now, tell me what you want.” If you’re supposed to be in control he isn’t acting like it with that command in his voice, it doesn’t stop the throbbing in your core either. 

“I um…” Your brain is reeling, because you honestly thought he’d tell you just to ride him and the two of you would work on your dirty talk. Not this. The briefest downturn of his eyes and your mouth moves. “I want you to fuck me, like this.” Lowering your hips so more of your weight settles on his hips. “I’m just going to sit here and watch that handsome face of yours while you pleasure me with your cock.” Swallowing at the outburst as your face feels like actual flames are licking your skin. 

A short boom of laughter from the demon under you before he licks his lips. “As you command, Master.” Fuck. His voice dropping down into a husky rasp and you’re certain if you weren’t around surrounded by water your thighs would have still been just as drenched. A small moan escapes your lips as he slips one of his hands between your bodies and brushes his fingers along your folds. 

“I said your cock, not your fingers.” There’s no force behind the words as you bite your lips, but the second of admonishment on his face is worth it before that grin returns. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were relaxed, Master. I won’t make the same assumption again.” You know he was checking to see if you were already loose enough for him, but tonight you want to feel the burn when he stretches your insides to accommodate him. Another adjustment, and this time you feel the tip of his dick sliding between the skin of your sex. You have no idea how long he’s been hard for but you don’t care, already letting out a string of soft noises of pleasure from the fat head spreading you and bumping into your clit.

“Lucifer~” Sighing his name your hips give a small jerk, chasing that delectable feeling of his cock. Licking your upper lip as you try to regain control of your hips, even if you just want to sink down until he’s deep inside your cunt. “I want you inside me.” 

Using his hand to guide his length inside your tight walls, lifting his hips to gently spread you open. You let out a whine, feeling the pressure inside of you build from each inch of him that forces your body to accept him. Glancing at his face you notice the way he’s biting the corner of his lip, one of his longer canines peeking out. 

It’s hot. 

Add in the way his eyes are lidded and cast downward to the murky water as if he can see the way your slit stretches to accommodate his dick? You’re ready to cum just from that. 

“You’re so tight.” Panting through his teeth as he lifts his hips, shallowly thrusting up into you at a steady pace. Both of his hands are on your hips now to keep you from bouncing around since you told him to do all the work, the tips of your fingers digging into his shoulders as the pleasure is starting to make you feel hazy. “Have I not been giving you enough attention lately? Not been seeing to your wants and needs?” 

“No.” Whining you slide your hands higher along his neck. “It’s from stress.” Lucifer has been anything but a slouch when it comes to your needs, he might be a busy demon but he can usually find time to make you scream his name. Or moan around his length from under his desk. 

“Then just relax, I’ll bring you all the pleasure you could want.” Starting to buck his hips faster now, churning your insides fast enough to have that coil inside of you drawing tighter and tighter. Your walls spasm more and more around his length as if trying to keep him from leaving your body. 

“Lucifer” Panting his name as you drop your forehead to his, your bodies closer changing the angle of how he’s slamming into you. His cock drags along the upper portion of your cunt, and once in a while the dark hairs around his base brush against your clit making your lungs shutter. You’re so close. “Kiss me.” 

Shifting his head back while keeping the connection against your temple, a tentative brush of his lips before he’s moving them with a ferocity against yours that leaves you moaning. Sliding your tongue out to deepen the kiss, almost swooning and cuming on his cock then and there when he mirrors your actions. 

He’s like a drug you can never get enough of. 

Your hands are no longer on his shoulders but gripping the strands of his hair as he bucks his hips faster. The sound of water sloshing around your bodies and against the rocks reaches your ears. Belatedly realizing you aren’t keeping still anymore, rolling your hips in time to his upward thrusts. 

One of his hands is pressed to the center of your back, keeping you close to him, your nipples rubbing against the firm muscles of his chest adding to the stimulation assaulting your senses. Panting and whining into his mouth the pleasure racing through you becomes too much, moaning his name into his mouth as you freeze, lost your orgasm. 

Lucifer doesn’t stop when your pussy starts to squeeze him like a vice, still bucking up into you as he breaks the kiss. Letting your head fall forward to land on his shoulder, he’s so close. “Just breathe Lamb, just breathe. I’m almost there.” His breathing rapid, and the tendons along his neck strained. You feel amazing in your post orgasm slump, all thoughts of letting you boss him around to grow more comfortable gone, replaced by the growing need to empty himself inside you. 

He won’t admit it, not even to you, but the idea of these forced marriages have had him on edge for the past few days. Worried what would happen if you were ever forced into something like that. Worried how he, his brothers, Diavolo, and the others would react to you being forced from their sides. It wouldn’t end well. 

So when he heard you stirring earlier, the idea came to him to take you here. At first, it had just been to relax and unwind, to remind himself you weren’t going anywhere. But the longer you sat beside him in the warm water, the more he wanted to feel you. To watch you come undone for him. 

And you have. 

“Lucifer?” Moaning his name as you come back to your senses, your head bouncing on his shoulder as he keeps moving. 

“Almost there.” Hissed through his teeth before he throws back his head as he slams you down onto his hips. A loud groan that sounded a lot like your name as you felt him cuming inside you, a burning deep in your core from his spent seed. Watching the hammering of his heartbeat in his neck with his eyes closed as he gives a few more thrusts, filling you to the brim before he stops seated deep inside your walls. 

“Damn.” Letting out a tired laugh as you drag your hands out of his hair and trail yours fingers down the pale column of his throat to his collarbones. Ghosting over the sweat slicked skin. “I don’t think you’ve given me a load that big in a while.”

“You haven’t felt that tight in a while.” Muttering the words as he breaths through his nose trying to calm his racing heart before opening his eyes. Leaning in for a quick kiss that borders on tender. “Calling you master does something for me as well.” Admitting as he slides forward so more of him, and you since you’re still attached, is under the water. “Maybe we should get a hot tub for the House of Lamentation.” Sighing the words as he relaxes and you let out a soft giggle. 

“Not if that’s what the two of ya are gonna do in it.” Screaming in surprise and wrapping your arms around Lucifer to try and hide your naked skin. “Didn’t I tell ya not ta let em’ get too handsy!” 

“Mammon!” Snarling his brothers' name as he appears. You’re very much in the same boat as Lucifer right now, partly pissed at being interrupted, partly embarrassed at being found naked with him balls deep in your tender sex. 

So much for a round two that you were hoping for. 

Back to Masterlist

[sketch-guardian]

Imagine the students with an mc who’s like a middle aged man and has a beer belly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone write about a loud middle aged man in obey me

You're right, I guess I haven't seen many headcanons about such theme either🤔so I'll do my best to fix it☺For my headcanons, however, I usually use a gender neutral MC to make everyone feel included, so I hope this small change won't bother you too much🙈(I also apologize for the delay😥classes have started in uni again and I'll have less and less time to reply to asks, I might need to close the askbox for headcanons soon😭):

"RAD CLASSMATES+NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS WITH A MIDDLE AGED MC WHO HAS A BEER BELLY"

DEMYA

Demya loves a bit of meat on bones, she can appreciate the thinnest or most muscular physiques too, however she would find a bit of plumpness charming, because it would make her mouth water. Middle Aged MC however wouldn't have to fear being mauled, because as Demya's mate, they would be off limits and have privileges that others would not be granted. Demya may nibble or kiss Middle Aged MC's beer belly out of affection while liying down on it during cuddle sessions in her soft nest, so hopefully Middle Aged MC doesn't mind having some marks, in easy-to-hide spots. Since Demya and Middle Aged MC are both troublemakers and food lovers, they would likely be a loud and occasionally chaotic couple, but still very much in love

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra is a pretty fit and sporty demon, however he wouldn't force Middle Aged MC to follow his training regime, he would leave the choice up to them, depending on how they feel, Domnra would joke about Middle Aged MC deciding to settle down with a demon of all the available options though, at such an age too. Domnra could become Middle Aged MC's drinking buddy, celebrating with glasses of alcohol and getting angry at TV, shouting and breaking havoc, Domnra would mostly be a depressed drunk though, as if Demonus eased his anger issues. In quieter moments, Domnra would hold Mobim in his arms and rest his back on Middle Aged MC's soft beer belly, playing some music to listen to together, making sure to satisfy both of their tastes in music

AZUL

Azul is a twink, so the idea of ​​carrying Middle Aged MC in his arms or holding them on his lap without using magic would be quite out of the question, at least for Middle Aged MC at first, because they wouldn't want to risk hurting Azul with their weight, however he would likely be into such stuff and, as a demon, he would still be rather resistant, so as far as he is concerned, Azul would let Middle Aged MC crush him, hell he would even thank them. Being quite eccentric, Azul wouldn't care if Middle Aged MC made a racket, to be fair he's chaotic too so they would be one of the wildest couples at parties, and if they were to suffer from insecurity due to their age or chubbiness, Azul would remind Middle Aged MC of their beauty through drawings and photographs, or straight up physical intimacy such as kisses and hugs, if the first options didn't work. Azul would like Middle Aged MC to feel confident in their own body and if they wished to lose weight, he would support them, suggesting dancing as a fun exercise

ZURI

Many demons would wonder how the hell Middle Aged MC managed to woo an ethereal and elegant woman like Zuri, the answer probably being their charm and genuine feelings winning the demon over somehow, making her overlook their appearance for a while, their relationship could almost remind a bit of the one between Morticia and Gomez, in a certain sense. The occasional loud mess might upset Zuri, who often gets migraines due to her hectic work, therefore she would appreciate if they could spend some quiet quality time together, while occasionally sharing a glass of Demonus. However, Zuri would still attempt at helping Middle Aged MC with their drinking problem and would try to clean them up a bit, by buying them expensive suitable clothes that compliment their figure and curves

ODON

Not gonna lie, the first thing that came to mind when thinking about a couple made of a middle-aged human and a horror beyond comprehension was Gravity Falls, specifically Stanford Pines and Bill Cipher, even if the dynamic would definitely be different. For Odon, most people, both on Earth and in Devildom, are quite young when compared to them, even Lord Diavolo, so they wouldn't really pay too much mind to Middle Aged MC's age, only if pointed out, it wouldn't make any difference though, especially because Middle Aged MC would still remain the youngest, even compared to the only other human in the exchange program (Solomon). Odon wouldn't care about Middle Aged MC's appearance, considering that the form in which they technically presents themselves doesn't correspond to their true monstrous appearance, so Odon would love Middle Aged MC no matter what and their messing around wouldn't even bother the eldritch horror, on the contrary it would amuse them, plus Odon would keep Middle Aged MC company while they drink, to make sure they're okay, drinking a cup of green tea instead of alcohol. Odon and Middle Aged MC would often lounge together, like an old married couple, on a couch covered in a flannel blanket while reading books, in the comfort of Odon's cabin in the woods. It would be cute to imagine such a domestic life

REMIEL

Remiel is aware of how fragile and short life can be, she considers it precious and would get quite concerned over Middle Aged MC's health status, from a logical and medical point of view. Their age would also remind Remiel of how little time she has left with Middle Aged MC and therefore, despite some somberness, she would try to enjoy as many moments as possible with Middle Aged MC, kindly trying to help them change their harmful habits, not wanting the day in which she will have to assist their soul in reaching the afterlife to approach so soon. Remiel, apart from her wings, has cold skin, so being in Middle Aged MC's arms, pressed against their soft and warm beer belly, would certainly be a new, but pleasant experience, a source of heat, perhaps enough to lull the angel of death into a light nap, which she would honestly need, as she often attends to her celestial duty. Middle Aged MC being loud would surprise Remiel, since she is more used to a calm and isolated environment, however it wouldn't bother her too much, since she literally has two uncles and an aunt, who don't know much about the concept of being quiet, whether it's because of her powerful voice (Fury), his heavy step (War) or his shenanigans (Strife)

NATHANIEL

Nathaniel would notice Middle Aged MC's age and size, however he wouldn't give too much weight to such details and would focus more on their affinity and how to spend time together. Nathaniel would be quite capable of handling Middle Aged MC being loud, after all he isn't the Archangel of Patience for nothing, however if Middle Aged MC bothered him too many times during his meditation sessions, then Nathaniel might decide to take revenge, it would be unclear how or when and Middle Aged MC would live for a while with anxiety, not knowing what to expect and when the angel would strike, usually it would just be a little tease anyway, because he's lenient. Being very chill, sometimes, Nathaniel would let Middle Aged MC sit on his lap while he meditates or while they rest like, playing with their belly as if it were a stress reliever and resting his head on their shoulder, finding the act very therapeutic. As for drinking, Nathaniel would just make sure Middle Aged MC doesn't overdo it

URIEL

Even Uriel would have no idea how Middle Aged MC managed to capture her heart and yet, much to her embarrassment, they still somehow accomplished such feat, however, due to having a reputation, the warrior angel would appreciate if Middle Aged MC avoided being loud or messy while she's busy with important celestial matters. Uriel knows how fragile humans can be and how many things can contribute to a premature death, therefore, not considering Middle Aged MC's lifestyle healthy, she would try to help them exercise, stop drinking and eat healthy, at least Uriel would do her best to not turn the experience into military training. One thing Uriel would be able to do with ease would be lifting Middle Aged MC in her arms, without effort or trouble, no matter their height or how big their beer belly is, Uriel is strong and Middle Aged MC would be like featherweight to her, so that would probably make them feel like royalty. Uriel would also enjoy the contrast between her sturdy body and Middle Aged MC's soft one

[honeydewandcake]

hey! been watchin your blog for a while (a friend showed me one of your first (?) fran bow razzdazz drawings and i thought ut was So Cool and have been payin attention since lol), and ive been ponderin glisten in the asylum au for a bit? i saw someone else talk about givin him dysmorphophobia, and i think thats so fun and i would like to build on it a little bit? moreso in the direction of just giving him body dysmorphia in general.

body dysmorphic disorder is categorized as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and generally is confused as something that inherently comes with eating disorders? i think the main difference with them is body dysmorphia is centered around a specific part of the body and not a general weight thing. i think he probably would count for that with his face, honestly? his mirror part specifically? its what he seems to put the most effort into (aside from his bow but thats an accessory) and hes So Appearance Based.

also hes shown to be very insecure about how people perceive him in game with his dialogue and the toon rooms in roleplay mode, and. while his twisted form is shown to be more concerned with being alone, and monophobia, and its so fun to explore i honestly think thats something that should be left to be explored with his twisted form in this whoops, ^^;; its smthn we know is there but dont really see in his normal toon form

but ! yeah, theres my two cents. i dunno if my rambles make much sense lol but i love this stupid mirror and i love fran bow so <:33 buh bye

This is a lot more detailed and deep than I could have ever written it!!! This is actually a huge help in understanding dysmorphia so thank you as well!! I'm keep all these things in mind if I ever draw Glisten :3

[jcollinswrites]

Can we get a couple of facts about Harkuf?👀 Also, I recently decided to choose an option where noble MC dumps their sister in the alleys and it turns out their sister has been making fun of them in the past?Why doesn't anyone just give poor MC a break🙄They can't even just go to the training ground without listening to dumb jokes from brother's friends((I definitely like Thief MC's family more

Oh, yes, Petepihu (noble mc's sister) is... not exactly a positive character at the moment but that can change later. You can even give her a self-reflective moment in chapter 1 if you choose the "let my sis go and I'll stay here" option when you get captured in the city by the creepy priest. Or you can also have an antagonistic relationship and see where that goes. It'll be up to you.

Fun facts about Harkhuf (noble mc's dad):

His age depends on your character's age but he's somewhere between 50 and 70. His appearance also depends on yours, but he's generally considered to be an attractive man. Your character resembles him a lot.

His marriage with mc's mother was arranged. It... didn't quite work out for them but they both think that a divorce would cast too much bad light on them.

He became vizier under King Senhotenre's rule, so he's served 3 pharaohs so far.

As much as he's a shitty parent, he's actually a very good vizier. People love him, and he increased the standard of living across all Egypt considerably, especially since the end of the war. He's also famous for keeping up the law and being a just and reasonable leader.

He's an old friend of Narmer. He's known him since Narmer was 16.

He knows Qenna too from waaaay back. He knows Qenna much better than he'd like. Much better than Qenna would like too.

He likes organizing parties and his hobby used to be wine making, but he doesn't have time for it anymore.

Most of these will probably never come up in the game lol but it helps me write the characters' interactions a lot better :)))

Thanks for the message! ✨

[canmom]

tsv season 2 is banger after banger so far.

e17 was fantastic - love that the least awful god we've met so far is a god of peaceful deaths and burying the dead, seems fitting for this setting. Sarah Golding as Sister Acantha was great, love hearing UK regional accents and very fitting to this side character - and of course opposite her, Méabh de Brún is knocking it out of the park as she always does, i have got to find out what else she's been in because i am so blown away by her range.

episode 18 gives us another strong 'civilised' sacrifice story, absolutely nailing the affable indifferent cruelty of the toffs there - more excellent voice acting, i love how put out the son gets that his party gets spoiled. recurring theme that, if you start out poor, trying to succeed on the system's terms is just serving yourself up on a plate. although it's hard to hit the highs of episode 7, especially without the complicity of Paige as the emotional dimension - we kinda know what's going to happen by this point - I appreciate here that when it revisits a theme, they are taking pains to include some new wrinkle or extra dimension. we're slowly fleshing out the political structure of this world, without being overbearing with it.

it's funny, i was joking about being weirdly proximate to podcasting celebrity johnny sims the other day, but I was not expecting him to cameo in episode 19. dude really gets around. it kind of throws me because he has such a distinctive voice that you can't hear him in a scene without it being like Oh, Johnny From The Mechanisms is here! especially since he's playing the exact kind of condescending evil-scientist character that could easily show up in any mechs album. (i am going to insist on calling him that even if i get around to TMA, less for any particular love for the mechs but more because it amuses me to forever define him by a semi-obscure, deeply nerdy band from Oxford.) I will say again that Slay the Princess was really onto something in having you spend most of the game antagonising the Johnny who's doing that voice.

foley work is getting better and better too.

need to find out if there's any canonical appearance info on the characters in this series, because I'm increasingly feeling fanart would be a fun thing to do.

[feinforyakk]

Y/N vs. Gojo Satoru: The Struggle of Being Done with the Strongest Sorcerer

---

No one truly understands what it’s like to deal with Gojo Satoru on a daily basis. As one of the strongest sorcerers, he’s a force to be reckoned with. But as your friend, colleague, and occasional partner-in-crime, Gojo’s antics are endless, and it’s a miracle you haven’t torn your hair out. You’ve reached the point where you’re just *done* with him, but unfortunately, he’s like an annoying big brother you can’t shake.

---

**Scene 1: Gojo’s Late Again**

You’re standing in the middle of the training field, waiting for Gojo to show up for a scheduled mission briefing. Everyone else is there—Yuji, Megumi, Nobara—but Gojo, as always, is nowhere to be found.

You check your watch for the fifth time, tapping your foot impatiently. The students exchange knowing glances. It’s clear you’ve reached your limit with Gojo’s constant tardiness.

“Where is he?” Nobara asks, clearly irritated as well.

Before you can answer, Gojo appears in the distance, strolling in like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Sunglasses on, grinning like a fool.

“Sorry I’m late! Lost track of time,” he says with his usual lazy charm.

You narrow your eyes at him. “Gojo, you’re 30 minutes late. Again.”

He shrugs, as if that’s not a big deal. “Time’s relative, Y/N. Besides, I knew you could handle it.”

You take a deep breath, trying to keep calm. “Gojo, if you weren’t the strongest sorcerer alive, I’d kill you.”

He laughs, ruffling your hair like you’re a kid. “Good thing I am, huh?”

You swat his hand away, muttering, “I’m done with you.”

---

**Scene 2: Gojo and His Terrible Jokes**

Later in the day, you’re sitting in the staff room, finally enjoying a moment of peace. That is, until Gojo bursts in with his usual energy.

“Y/N! You’ll never believe the joke I just heard,” he announces, plopping down in the seat across from you.

You don’t even look up from your tea. “Gojo, please. I’m begging you. No more jokes.”

He ignores your plea entirely. “Why don’t curses tell secrets?”

You sigh, putting down your cup. “I don’t know, Gojo. Why?”

“Because they always come back to haunt you!” He finishes with a proud grin, waiting for you to laugh.

You stare at him blankly for a moment before slowly standing up. “I’m leaving.”

“Wait, come on! That was a good one!” Gojo calls after you, but you’re already halfway out the door, shaking your head.

---

**Scene 3: Gojo’s Endless Teasing**

You’re walking through the halls of Jujutsu High, trying to mind your own business when you suddenly feel Gojo’s presence looming behind you. He’s following you closely, practically breathing down your neck.

“What do you want, Gojo?” you ask, not even bothering to turn around.

He grins, walking next to you with his hands casually in his pockets. “Oh, nothing. Just checking up on my favorite person.”

“I’m not in the mood for your games today,” you reply flatly.

“Aw, Y/N, don’t be like that. You’re no fun when you’re grumpy.” He pokes your cheek playfully, and you bat his hand away.

“I’m not grumpy. I’m just *done* with you and your constant pestering.”

Gojo feigns a hurt expression, clutching his chest dramatically. “Done with me? Y/N, that’s impossible. You love me too much.”

You stop in your tracks, turning to give him the most deadpan look you can muster. “I tolerate you. There’s a difference.”

He just laughs, slinging an arm around your shoulder despite your protests. “You’ll come around.”

“I’m *done*, Gojo,” you mutter again, but he just keeps laughing, completely ignoring your words.

---

**Scene 4: Gojo’s Reckless Behavior**

On a mission with Gojo, you’re once again reminded why you’re always so done with him. The guy has no sense of caution. As you’re facing down a particularly nasty curse, Gojo is off on his own, goofing around, using his overwhelming strength to show off more than necessary.

“Gojo, can you take this seriously for once?!” you shout, dodging an attack from the curse while Gojo floats effortlessly above the battle, yawning as if he’s bored.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. You’ve got this!” he says, lazily flicking his fingers and sending the curse flying into a nearby wall. “See? Easy.”

You glare at him. “I’m trying to have a professional battle here, and you’re acting like we’re on vacation!”

Gojo lands beside you, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m just making sure you don’t get rusty. Can’t let my favorite colleague slack off.”

“I swear, Gojo, one day you’re going to push me too far.”

He ruffles your hair again, completely unfazed. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”

“I’m *done*.”

---

**Scene 5: Gojo and His Unwanted Surprises**

You’re working in your office, finally

[toxintouch]

Yooooooo, you write fan fictions, don't you? Halloween is, like, right over there *points*. would you be willing to do one of mhin taking sparrow ghost hunting? and maybe even having a "guest appearance" of a certain shadow manipulator?

if this has already been done, could you point me in the right direction?

thank you~

I've never seen a fic like that but omg. This is such a brilliant idea, I love how all the pieces come together so perfectly–Vere being said to be responsible for his fair share of local ghost stories, mentions of Mhin and haunted houses in the Uquiz results… Premium thoughts.  I had a lot of fun writing this, ty for giving me the prompt!! :>

It took a couple of extra days but it's also longer (~2900 words) so hopefully that makes up for it.  p.s sorry if u meant it to be more gen bc I wrote romantic pining lol Volume Warning! Ambiance (~BEAUTIFUL FOX NOISES) for y'all /j

Cold Spots

You pull your cloak tighter around yourself, sheltering your remaining body heat from the howling wind.  

You ignore the shiver that creeps down your spine.

You’ve been warned that the night is chilly in Eridia at this time of year, but you haven’t quite scraped together enough coin to afford more layers.  So you huddle closer to the swaying lamplight of the Wet Wick, attempting to leech warmth from the cheery (if occasionally overwhelming) atmosphere of the bar.  You’re on edge, wary about straying too far from the Wick’s affable open doors and the balmy light spilling out of them.

You crane your neck to peer as far as you can around the corner without moving, eyeing the myriad of nearby alleyways, all full to the brim with shadows, searching for a familiar splash of moonlight and blue sweeping through the night.

 That’s when you feel eyes on your back.

You freeze, all of your senses on high alert.

“You’re where I asked you to be.”  Mhin says in lieu of a greeting.  You startle, reeling around to face them.  Even when you're expecting them, they have the uncanny ability of sneaking up on you.

“You say that like you’re surprised.”  You chide, in mock affront.  “You’ll notice that I’m also on time.”  Your giddiness shows on your face, a smile tugging at your lips.

“Don’t act so pleased with yourself,” they snipe while rolling their eyes, “for anyone else, that’s the bare minimum.”  They frown, looking you up and down with their arms tightly crossed. “...Is that what you’re wearing?”

Any further quips you have for them die in your mouth, drowned out by nervous chuckling.  You realize they must be asking (in their own way) if you’re not going to get too cold.  You know you could just ask Leander or Kuras for some seasonally appropriate attire but you’d rather not rely on further charity if you can’t help it.  Hence: “I’m, um, warm blooded?”  You mean to inject an appropriate amount of bravado into your voice, but it comes out as more of a question.

Mhin sighs, long eyelashes brushing their cheeks as they close their eyes for one long moment.   “Sometimes I wonder…  Fine.  Let’s just get going.”

The floorboards shriek beneath your feet as you step across the threshold.  The entire shack seems to groan and sway, protesting audibly against the wind.  You stick close to Mhin’s back as they hold their gas lamp up, casting an eerie glow about the interior of the abandoned building.  Their keen eyes do a quick sweep before they nod decisively and usher you inside with a single precise motion.

The bellow of the wind sounds almost like a scream as the door shuts behind you.

“So, what are we looking for, exactly?”  Your voice comes out hushed, the haunting atmosphere insisting that behave accordingly.

“Likely nothing.”  Mhin responds.  “Actual ghost sightings are very rare.  And of those, few recorded instances come from trustworthy sources.  People in Eridia can be quite superstitious.  Count on rats or other pests.  It’s more plausible that this is a mere infestation rather than–”

The roof above your heads gives a long, low creeaaaak.

You both pause for a beat, listening to silence.

“How would we know if it's a real ghost?”  You ask, more out of curiosity than anything.  You’re not about to waste the opportunity, if Mhin is willing to keep talking.

“Depends on the type of ghost.”  Another protest from the floorboards as Mhin wanders further into the dark.  Since you don’t have a lantern of your own, you have no choice but to follow close behind.  Unless you want to stumble around with nothing but the shatters of dusty moonlight cast through the cracked windows to guide your way.

Mhin and you make a quick round of the small building, finding it mostly empty, only a few pieces of broken furniture left behind.  You draw closer to the back wall, carefully avoiding moth-eaten curtains, heeding Mhin’s warning about a small step.  Based on the layout, you think this place might have been a bar or entertainment hall of some sort.  You imagine it had a nice, cozy parlor at one time, though now it’s fallen into squalor.  As Mhin examines the walls for signs of pests and other clues, you examine the graffiti strewn across them: crude jokes and lewd drawings, mostly.  Some scattered names, belonging to people and gangs you’ve never heard of before.  

Framed in the center, though, there's a huge riot of colorful paint.  An abstract painting with no proper canvas.  It's beautiful, somehow, though hauntingly morose.  The artist has contained their work in a neat square, not a single streak of color escaping the precisely imposed prison.  You’re not sure what the intent of the artist was choosing somewhere like this to display it…  

“Is there a type of ghost that makes artwork?”  You wonder aloud.  You almost wish that Mhin would hand you the lantern so you can get a better look.

Mhin clicks their tongue, sparing barely a glance toward the makeshift painting.  “I wouldn't define that as art.”  Mhin follows the line of the wall to the corner, their lantern held up to the wall.  “That’s just…paint.  If you’re looking for ghosts, try looking for scratch marks.  Those are a possible indicator, though not always a reliable one.  A sudden feeling of hot, or cold–any otherwise unexplainable temperature change.  A strange odor…”

You give the air a sniff.  “...I don’t smell anything.  Do you?”

“Dust.  Rotting wood.  And you’ve stopped using Leander’s bath soaps, which I’ll commend you for.  Why anybody would want to smell that strongly of–”  Mhin stops and gives a short whiff, their mouth slightly parted.  Their brows furrow. “It is unusual…I don't see or smell any signs of rats or roaches.  No vultures either…”

“Maybe something else scared them away?”  You posit.  You shuffle closer to Mhin, not liking the way the shadows around you seem to flow and ebb the longer you look at them, your mind making up shapes.  There’s a silly part of you that wants to feel Mhin’s cloak between your bandaged fingers as reassurance that they’ll stay close.  They’d probably hate to know that you see them as something to cling to–a source of comfort, safety.

You try to take another step closer to further dampen your trepidation, but instead you trip over– something–and stumble directly into Mhin.  They catch you on impulse, strong and quick enough to steady you with one arm while holding the lantern with the other.  You breathe an apology, your lips bumping against their chin as they help you get your feet back under you.  

You both search the ground to determine what knocked you off your balance.

It's a dirty old rug, rucked up at one edge.  

A long line of what appears to be claw marks lies half uncovered below it.  Mhin kneels beside the marks, studying them intently, carefully moving the rug to reveal yet more splintered wood.  “I’m not sure what could have done this,” they admit.  “The marks are fresh, but none of the dust was disrupted…”

The floorboards groan another protest, though it bounds off the walls in strange ways, making it difficult to pinpoint exactly where the sound originated.

“Aural contortions.”  Mhin announces.  “And a feeling that you’re being watched.  Reflective surfaces will behave oddly as well.  Hold this.”  Mhin hands you the lantern (more: shoves it into your grasp, really) reaching into their satchel.  Their nimble hands pull out a handful of alchemical concoctions, one which shines like the inside of a seashell, a tiny silver locket, which they flick open to reveal a small mirror.  There’s symbols etched into it, so old and worn away you can’t make them out.

You draw the lantern closer at their behest, illuminating a small smile spread across their face.

Is Mhin …Having fun?

“Is there anything I can do to help?”  You ask, hoping they don’t notice the warmth in your voice. Getting scolded would kind of ruin the mood.

Mhin glances up, blinking at you like they almost forgot you were there.  Their tongue peeks out, wetting their lips as they consider.  “Yes,” they finally agree, “would you–”

The lamplight is smothered by an unknown force.

The cracked streams of light from the window are gone, leaving you in darkness.

Mhin swears, their voice distorting as if they are suddenly very far away.  A moment ago they were crouched beside you, but the shadows surrounding you are so inky you can’t make out their silhouette at all.  Instinctively, you reach your hands out in front of you before freezing and reluctantly forcing them back down.  If both you and Mhin end up stumbling around with hands outstretched, there’s a possibility that they might accidentally grasp onto you and disrupt your bandages.  (You wish you had given into your desire to hold onto them earlier.)  

You whisper their name, frantic, hoping they can hear you.

“I’m here,” Mhin assures you, their voice pitched low and cautious.  You feel the gentle press of a foot against yours, a light tap of reassurance against the side of your sole.  “Stay close.”  There’s a brush of fingertips against your back.  “If the entity is particularly powerful, it will be able to move objects,” Mhin cautions, “but a ghost should never be capable of causing harm to humans directly.  And there’s not much in here that it could throw.  Just stay calm.  If you don’t keep your emotions in check, it will only be more incensed.”

Light flashes through the room again in a spotlight, guiding your gaze to a particular area of the building.

The abstract mural is defaced, dripping black liquid splattered boldly across the wall like arterial spray.  You retreat a step, feeling something wet beneath your feet.  There’s a sharp, astringent tang in the air.  Musty and earthy-floral.  Old velvet and leather, parchment and fresh paint.

You realize, with a sinking feeling of cold terror, that the black ichor on the wall spells your name.

    Eyes on you.  

Touch like a gossamer spider web.  Brushing against the nape of your neck.

“Mhin,” you whisper urgently.  “Something just–”  

The cold hits you then.  Bone deep and all consuming.  Judging by the way Mhin swears, they must feel it too.  Whatever this unknown entity is, it’s close.  And it wants…

Shadow flickers, fingers reaching for you, claws grasping, white glint of teeth.

Mhin sneers audibly, reaching for you and reeling you in by your cloak just before the figure can snatch you up.  Their arm wraps around you, guiding you with them as they recede.  They sweep their stiletto in a wide arc and you hear the clang of metal on metal, though you have no idea what it was that Mhin hit.  Their night vision must be immaculate–you can hardly see more than the fresh glint of their stiletto blade.

“Turns out it is a vermin infestation.”

A bark of laughter.  

Very familiar laughter.

The door starts to rattle on its hinges, moving to the rhythm of Vere's glee.  Mhin walks over to it, dragging your shaking body with them.  With a definitive kick from Mhin and a final cackle from Vere, the door bursts open.

Mhin tugs you out into the open air and slams it behind them.

“Awful fur-bag.”  Mhin spits the words out like the mere thought of Vere leaves a bad taste in their mouth.

You’re far enough away that the black paint clinging to both of your shoes is no longer leaving footprints, but you can’t say the same about the bone deep cold.

You’re shivering so hard your teeth start to chatter, adrenaline magnifying the chill in your bones.  How did Vere even do that?  You rub your arms and nearly stumble into Mhin in the process.  Their features twist into a half-formed scowl, eyes sweeping you before softening into something more delicate.

You find yourself staring into eyes that seem to catch the moonlight, words caught in your throat.

“You’re freezing.” Mhin murmurs, resting a hand against the curve of your cheek, testing your temperature.

You’re surprised at the contact.  Mhin is always so careful about touching you–it’s something you appreciate, usually, this unspoken agreement between the two of you; Mhin doesn’t ask intrusive questions, just makes silent hypotheses and treats your personal space with care.  You appreciate it–usually–but sometimes, (constantly), you wish…

Mhin’s thumb pets against your jaw.  They glace away from you as they do, unable to hold your gaze, but they don’t remove their hand, even as the moment hangs heavy in the air.  Their hand is soft, you think, fingertips like silk, though you can feel the thick calluses built up at the meat of their palm.  Likely hard won and harder lost, trophies from their time as a freelancer and whatever secret misfortune befell them what led them to Eridia.  Unthinking, you nuzzle into their touch, luxuriating in the coveted feeling of skin on skin.  You have half a mind to turn your head, press your lips against their calluses, kiss them like you’re drawing poison from a wound.

Mhin catches your chin between their thumb and pointer finger.  Their grip is assertive, certain.  You’d worry that you’ve angered them somehow, but the intensity of their gaze, the subtle tilt of their head, the flush of their cheeks, the featherlight caress of their breath on your lips…

–You think they might–

They back away abruptly in one smooth stride.  Their hands work quickly at the intricate clasp on their cloak.  Oh, now they’re really looking away.

“Wear this while we head back.  You didn’t come to this city to die of cold.”

They look at their bracers pointedly as you hesitate, as if itching to adjust them.  You slowly reach out and put the garment on.

The trek back to the Wick is uneventful.  The occasional star glances out from the pall of clouds constantly lingering in the Eridian sky.  You look for the waning moon, finding its reticent light and following it home.  You return Mhin’s cloak at the door, careful to hold it in a way that allows them to take it without having to touch you – touch your bandages.  

Mhin looks, oddly, a little reluctant to see it returned.  You’re not sure how else you can possibly read their body language.  Their hunched shoulders, the downturn of their mouth, their uncharacteristic lingering.  Holding the cloak in their hands like they can’t quite decide what to think of it.

They let out a sharp breath.

Mhin levels you with a pointed glare as they settle their mantle across their shoulders, affixing the clasp without need to look down.  “Buy some warmer clothes.” they order, “Tell Leander that the contract is complete and the buyer’s ‘ghost problem’ is solved.  The building should be fine for renovations, just tell them to start their renewal project on a day when the Senobium is actually holding Vere’s leash.”

 

“You’ll come back for your cut tomorrow…?”  Confusion rolls off your lips.

“No.”  Mhin crosses their arms again.  “I just told you to buy some warmer clothes, didn’t I?  Consider it hazard pay.”  Again, that disgusted tone Mhin reserves for Vere.  “Even with that taken into consideration, you’ll still owe me, though.  Don’t forget.  I’ll collect some day; everyone does in this city.”

You’re not sure what to say.  Mhin is insisting that this is just a loan, and you believe that wholeheartedly.  But that doesn’t mean it isn’t charity.  Mhin’s also offering you transparency–an open disclosure of the deal you’re agreeing to.  You take their cut, buy what you need, and resolve to pay it back when you can.  And if Mhin needs something similar in the future, you’ll return them in kind.  

You think you stumble over your words a little, but you agree to their offer.

“I’ll be back to collect another contract.  Hopefully something that’s not a waste of my time.”

And a promise to come back is a promise to see you again, isn’t it?  To include you in their life?  Is that what you’re supposed to take from this?  That Mhin cares for you, even if they won’t–

 

Or is it your foolish heart, showing you a path that isn’t really there?  

“Goodnight, Mhin.”  You say the words, but their back is already turned, steps already taken.

   ✦ EXTENDED ENDING...? ✦

 

 You putter around in your room at the Wet Wick as you go about your nightly routine.  The occasional cheer or thud from below only accentuates your nervous energy, punctuating your reluctance to settle down and get into bed.  You smooth down the covers with your bandaged hands and fluff the pillow before extinguishing the lamplight.  You tug the covers up above your shoulders, fighting to get comfortable.

As your eyes finally start to droop, the flicker of a shadow catches your attention.  

It dances and sways and bends and grows until suddenly it is right in front of you.  On top of you.

Silken, blood red drips down onto your face, a knife gleam smile too close for comfort. 

You breathe in a gasp, wondering if you should scream.

“Vere, what–”

“Shhh,” he coos, pressing a finger lightly to your lips.  His breath is hot against your skin.

“I only came to keep you warm, pet.”