#so hesitant posting original character content on here idk why

[dirty-trash-mongrel]

uhh artfight yeah that's happening soon my silly little lady because I like how her reference sheet came out i'll probably be posting more oc stuff on here but i really need to get over canon character artblock,,,,, i can't just keep drawing J over and over and call it a different drawing

[yandere-sins]

The Orcas' Tale - Chapter III

I made it in time! This chapter really had me in a chokehold, idk why but it was the hardest one so far (even though everything is planned already). But regardless, I made it! Keeping up the one chapter per week feels pretty good, personally, and I hope you guys will find it enjoyable regardless! More actions is coming from here on out! This chapter was mostly "how many words can I come up with for the flesh of the fish, while three major characters are half fish, to avoid confusion?"

Fandom: Original Content   Pairings: Yandere!Orca Mermen x GN!Reader   Warnings: Yandere, Monsters, Butchering a fish, Manipulation (on both sides), Talking the reader/humans down, Threats, Dub-consensual touches, Animalistic behavior, Mention of claws/sharp teeth, Hinting at death, Long post

Eyeing the comb suspiciously, your gaze wandered over to Krill, meeting his brilliant red stare head-on. 

You'd have liked to refuse any of their offerings, braving what the leader of these three creatures wanted from you. Thankfulness, dependency, submission. But what then? You couldn't imagine they had any qualms about killing you if you posed a threat (however small) to them. They'd have no hesitations to bite through your throat and cut open your flesh to be rid of you. At that exact moment, you decided this would not be where you'd die. Some situations required drastic measures, and this situation was intense enough that you'd need to do extreme things to get through it. 

"I'm a little hungry," you relented, lowering your eyes and touching your belly. "What do you have there?"

Turning towards Nerrocan, you could watch his body tense. But this time, it wasn't from mistrust or dismissal. You could clearly observe the pride swinging in every skilled movement of his giant body as he climbed on top of the ledge, sinking his claws into the food as he dragged it closer to you. Only faintly did you register the clattering of the comb as Lyr threw it across the room, heaving yet another annoyed sigh while Krill gripped him by his shoulder, urging him to stay and play nice quietly. A victorious smile had crept on Krill's face when you briefly met his eyes, knowing that you had surrendered—for now. If the other two noticed, they didn't comment on it. This was only between you and their leader, and that's how it would remain.

Everyone gathered as Nerrocan turned the hefty chunk of fish on the ground; their tails dipped into the pool while they formed an uneven half-circle around you. Their bodies emitted no warmth, their closeness making you tense both from the anxiety and chill you felt. Krill's skin had warmed under your touch before, but you could tell the water must be significantly colder as there was no more warmth to find. Regardless, you kept reminding yourself of your will to survive, and as all of them seemed to relax, so did you, sinking to your knees slowly to not agitate anyone with rash movements. 

You had to remind yourself of their animalistic nature, their tendencies to react harsher than humans would, no matter how advanced their minds were. All you did, you'd have to do carefully and gently, no matter how rough and uncaring they treated you in return. By the time you had sat down, Nerrocan still wasn't through with twisting and inspecting the heavy-looking piece, and you caught his eyes wandering, his gaze slithering up your legs and to your hands in your lap. 

Compared to Krill's, his gaze wasn't harsh. Inquisitive and curious, maybe. But he looked at you thoughtfully as if he saw something that made him wonder. His hands kept moving over the animal's (you still hoped it was an animal) dead body until he eventually dug his claws into the flesh, ripping off a slice of the meat cleanly as if he had used a knife. That piece alone was bigger than his hand, perhaps more fitting to his forearm in length, but he lifted it with no trouble, holding it out to Krill first, who wasted no time snatching it from him. 

Curiosity won as you looked at Krill opening his mouth and biting down, rows of sharp teeth cutting and tearing out a junk of the pink flesh. You should have known better. Because the first thought that came to mind as you watched him eat wasn't fascination about another lifeform, it was pure terror as you realized how easy it would be for your body to be crushed by these teeth. With a soft gasp, you forced your eyes away, staring at the stone beneath you, the only tangible thing you could rely on as your head turned woozy. It wouldn't have bothered you as much if it had been an animal you watched eat like this. But with that human face, it suddenly became hard to stomach. 

"Nice catch," Krill praised, and Nerrocan let out a proud huff, appreciating the comment with a small whistle. 

"Alright, hurry up! I'm starving!" Lyr complained, finally free to speak after Krill had the first taste of the prey. There was an unspoken hierarchy in this small pack, and Lyr crawled closer toward you, not bothered by the lack of distance between your bodies like you were, signaling you were at the bottom of it for him. If he wanted to squeeze between you and Krill to get to Nerrocan, he'd be laying in your lap any second now, and you considered getting up and out of his way. 

But instead, Nerrocan's hand shot out, clasping over Lyr's face, who immediately dug his claws into Nerrocan's arm, tail thrashing behind him. 

"It's not your turn. Don't be so impatient."

Muffled complaints rang out from behind Nerrocan's palm. Still, Lyr eventually slid back, earning you some space to breathe while he hissed at his packmate and angrily thrashed his tail. "What happened to respect your elders?" he snarled, and you could barely hold back a surprised laugh at hearing the old-as-time idiom that humans used from the merman. The sound sprang to your throat where you had to pretend to cough it out as to not be rude, but there was something endearing about finding similarities like these. 

You watched as Nerrocan rolled his eyes and shook his head dismissively. Strands of hair fell forward as he patted down the food again, searching for something. You stretched your neck to see better, and he paused for a small moment, then placed his hand at the cut-open side. Digging his fingers into the flesh horizontally instead of vertically as he did for Krill's piece, he began lifting a long segment of the fish's body. With a sloshing sound, the part separated from the rest, flapping around in his grip as if it was alive before Nerrocan held it out to you. 

If you were honest, you were already sick to the stomach just from Krill's eating and Nerrocan taking apart the food for everyone. Hesitant, you held out your hands, forcing your disgust into the bottom of your gut as he carefully placed the piece of fish into your palms. You'd probably never eat fish again in your life after this, but regardless, you put on a smile for him, mumbling a weak "Thank you" before Nerrocan could let go, your hands slumping into your lap as you underestimated the weight of the food significantly. 

"It's the softest part. You should be able to eat it," Nerrocan explained as he watched you expectantly, waiting for your judgment on his catch. Warily, you gazed at the pink flesh, barely able to lift it high enough to eat from it. With both hands, you raised one side high enough to your mouth, bracing yourself with deep breaths. Thinking of a quick prayer to whichever deity would be listening, your lips parted as you reminded yourself to get it over and done with and survive. No offense could be taken if you ate a bit and praised the butcher, you hoped. 

Your teeth sliced through the fish meat as if it was butter. 

Nerrocan hadn't lied when he said it was the softest part. Heavy, yes. But soft like a well-prepared steak of a happy cow. Its taste was faint, the meat too fresh to have caught any of the fishy aftertaste you expected. At least, it didn't make you gag. 

"It's good," you mumbled, still a bit surprised as you looked up to meet Nerrocan's eyes, watching as his shoulders sagged a little, the tension releasing from them. 

"That's good," he replied, and for a split second, you thought the blue light illuminated a rise at the corners of his mouth. But when he returned to work on the remnants of dinner, you averted your eyes this time, focusing on another bite from your own piece. Only then did you catch the hand sneaking over your legs. Towards the piece of fish you had been given, claws digging into the soft flesh before pulling off a portion on the other end from the one you've been holding. 

Water tickled your legs as Nerrocan splashed his tail fin into the pool, a small wave washing over Lyr, who pulled his hand back with a trophy piece of your food. "Wait. Your. Turn," Nerrocan hissed angrily, pulling off a slice like Krill's from the big junk and throwing it across the room, right into Lyr's shoulder like a wet socket. 

"It's not fair that the human gets the best part!" Lyr complained, shoving his handful of stolen meat into his mouth before anyone could take it from him. "They can eat the rest like we all do!"

Eyes turned to Krill, who was finishing up his own piece. For the first time, you noticed he was tearing on his part of the fish as well, making you realize the first bite must have been from the tender meat that Nerrocan cut out for you afterwards. "Tough luck," Krill mumbled with his mouth full. He didn't have much to add to their argument as he worked his way through chewy flesh, lips smacking as he tore apart his food. 

"Unfair," Lyr kept mumbling as he grabbed the piece Nerrocan threw at him, his teeth showing as he chomped down on it, seemingly having to work his way through it as well. Watching him almost made you feel… bad. 

"We can share?" you offered, heaving your dinner into his direction as best as you could. Lyr's eyes beamed up with meat hanging from his mouth at your suggestion, but just as quickly, he sagged back down again, the gills on his neck flaring as he glared at something—or someone—above you. 

You hadn't noticed Nerrocan crawling closer to you, all their movements so sneaky considering how big they were. Or maybe you were simply always distracted by one of them, unable to keep track of all at the same time. His piece of the catch hung from his mouth as he settled against the wall behind you, his tail close enough for you to lean on. There was a silent warning in his sharp gaze directed at Lyr. As if he was saying, "Don't even think about it." 

The latter grumbled, turning onto his back before dedicating himself to his food, gnawing away at it. You looked back at Nerrocan, the casual way he was sitting behind you, and wondered if his dorsal fin was in the way of his comfort when your eyes met. Amber shone through the mysterious blue of the algae lighting up this room as he watched you, his gaze shifting from yours to your hands and the tiny bites you had taken from your food before he averted his eyes, silently nibbling away at his portion. 

"Come to think of it," Krill spoke up just as you were about to take a third, tentative bite. Halting, you looked up at him, finding his eyes to be thoughtful as they had fixated on your dinner as well. Somehow their constant eyeing of your food made you quickly take another bite as if you had to fear them seeing your slow pace as an insult. "Nerrocan has a point. The human would probably struggle with this."

"What would they not struggle with?" Lyr sneered, mouth full of unchewed meat, drool mixed with juices from the meat dripping from his lips. Despite them eating at different paces, all three of them were as good as through with their food when you had barely taken five bites out of yours. No matter its soft and gentle taste, you couldn't bring yourself to stuff your face with the fish. Especially not when you wanted to listen in on their conversation and not concentrate on not choking.

"They can't swim as well as we do. Aren't as fast as we are," Lyr continued, counting up everything you'd rather not have spelled out. Bite seven started to turn sour in your mouth as you had to listen to their subtle insults.

"They have no sense of direction when they swim and can't feel the currents or movements of other creatures," Krill added, licking off juices from his elongated fingers. You began feeling sick as you cautiously took a ninth bite, not even halfway through your piece of meat yet. 

"They can't breathe underwater, and their skin wrinkles if they are in it too long," Nerrocan added, strangely aware of your failings as a terrestrial mammal compared to him, who lived in the ocean. It was enough to finally make you lower your dinner despite not yet feeling full. But the free space in your stomach had been overtaken by anxiety. They weren't wrong—you had to admit that as much as it pained you. But every additional fact hurt like a stabbing, twisting knife to your gut. 

"They can't hunt underwater."

"They can't dive very far."

"They hurt themselves when exploring the ocean."

Some people could, you were sure. Some trained, skilled, passionate individuals could pull off the things these mermaids were criticizing. But not you. You were glad that you could hold your breath for a decent amount of time without the help of a device to breathe underwater, but that was it. There was nothing special about your capabilities, and all you could hear from their complaints was: you're helpless. 

Helpless, lost, weak.

"You're right," you suddenly agreed, and all eyes of the orcas who were eagerly counting the flaws of humans shot to you. Turning towards Lyr, you put on a brave smile, having never faced him directly even once in all this time. But he understood immediately when you lifted the leftover food from your lap and stretched your arms towards him. Scooting closer and patiently waiting for you to put your food into his openly waiting palm. Your eyes didn't linger to watch him scarf it down just moments later, instead focusing on the ground as you let yourself hang.

"Had you not found me, I'd be in a lot of trouble. I would have been incapable of keeping myself alive had I been left alone for any longer than I was."

Admitting your weaknesses never felt good. The relief you wished to come from speaking the truth didn't either. The good it did to acknowledge your dreadful fate didn't realize until you felt a slightly wet forehead bump against yours, and you startled, squeezing your eyes shut as your body assumed the worst. A chirp ringing in your ears forced you to open them again. Krill's face, only partially lit by the light but still recognizable, was all you could make out as he bumped his forehead to yours again. 

"It's okay," Krill mumbled, calm and comforting. "You're safe with us."

There was finally some gentleness in his actions, his hard skull not clashing with yours, even when he turned his head to rub it along the side of your face. Hands cascaded down on you as bodies mingled, wet skin slipping over your wetsuit as Lyr squeezed into the equation, having finished his food. More heads bumped into your body, Lyr nuzzling into the crook of your neck, and Nerrocan scooted against your back. 

It wasn't like they weren't heavy as they leaned against or on top of you, but they kept themselves in check, considering their own weight before putting it on you. In a matter of seconds, your mind was ringing with whistles and chirps, the sounds threatening to overwhelm you. But when you felt a deep purr at the nape of your neck, somehow, you managed to shift your attention to it, allowing it to ground you as it vibrated through your body. 

Taking deep breaths helped elevate the feeling of being overwhelmed with the sudden touches of affection you were given. Your own hands had nowhere to hold on to and steady yourself, making your balance completely reliant on the three giant creatures inching closer at every chance. 

"We got you," Lyr purred into your throat, causing goosebumps to shudder down your skin. 

"We'll take care of you from now on," Nerocan added, and the shivers running through your bodies wouldn't stop, threatening tears to surface from your eyes. Even if it was their way of showing affection, their skin was beginning to stick against yours, their hands roaming too close to sensitive parts of your body. Despite being careful, their bodies were masses of weight pinning you down. Even if they meant well, their comfort was turning uncomfortable, and you began to feel suffocated by them. 

"I… I need your help." 

Speaking through their masses, you could feel their eyes open rather than see them; their attention focused solely on you as they listened intently. They clung to you stiffly and silently, waiting for your words before making their next move—deciding your fate with every following word you'd utter. Having all of their attention on you was unnerving, even though you knew they had observed you intensely before. Something about their irrational behavior made you believe they were still waiting for your acknowledgment. More of it, at least.

For you to beg and plead with them to help you survive this. 

Your feeling went off on a whim with no evidence that they wanted you to behave this way. But with how close their fangs were to your throat, their claws to your vitals, and your brain still remembering the way they ate, it made too much sense that they were cuddly and gentle the second you admitted to your inferiority to them. Because they liked that. They liked it when you agreed with their warped senses of superiority. So when you said you needed their help, the words that followed were not what they expected.

"I can't do it on my own, but I have to find these peoples that put the trackers on you."

"Trackers?" Lyr asked, and you nodded, your soft throat squishing into his features as his face remained in the crook of your neck. You heard the tiniest of chuckles from below you as you moved, the warming feeling of your skin amusing him. You also rubbed your head against Krill's, but he remained silent. 

"These thingies in your tails! The blinking ones!" you explained, and Nerrocan hummed into your hair in realization. 

"I don't know…" Lyr slurred the words, puffing some air against the heated underside of your jar as if he was thinking about it. "I don't remember how we got there. But I do remember fighting with all we had to escape and being too exhausted to even lift a fin for days when we returned."

"It was a long swim for sure," Krill grumbled, slipping his head on top of yours to rest it there. "We might be able to find it again, but it's not something we can do with a stroke of a tail. There were many territories to cross and even more dangers chasing after us. It's a wonder we made it back in one piece, and we only had to look after ourselves."

Krill pulled away, eyes scanning over you, who was still smothered between his two packmates. "We didn't have to take care of a helpless human on top of it."

You breathed in sharply, hearing these words. A flash of frustration turning into anger overcame you as you had to hold yourself back from lashing out. It was panic that drove you to the extremes of your feelings, fear that they might not take you back and you'd be forced to stay here or die. Their skepticism about this trip was warranted if there was so much danger lurking, much less say what the humans would do when you put something so spectacular as these creatures in front of their faces again. But your anger would not bring you the results that you wanted. These three orcas didn't want your insistence, and they wouldn't take kindly if you were rude on top of it.

"You promised," you sighed, defeated, releasing the pent-up frustration with the air in your lungs and calming yourself. Weakly, you looked up at Krill, who met your gaze head-on, strong and defiant. 

"I can't do it without you. I'm not strong or a good enough swimmer. I'm… not like you."

That was enough for Krill to preen himself, flexing his muscles. He liked to be reminded of the obvious difference between you and him and hated being questioned. That much you knew by now. You didn't tell him he would have made a terrible human, considering how prideful he was. It almost made you feel bad for manipulating him with your chosen words, but seeing how he lowered his guard every time you complied with his idea of you, it was almost too easy. 

Krill's eyes moved behind you, exchanging glances with Nerrocan, who lifted his head from you with a slight hesitance. "We could make it," he confirmed your assumptions. "We're older and stronger now. There's also a chance those territories on the way might have disappeared since the last time we swam there. Circumstances are different now, Krill."

"But is it really worth the trouble?" 

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Krill started blocking off the idea even when Nerrocan—who he trusted—agreed with you. He didn't like Nerrocan taking your side, but you were happy at least one of them did. Krill's eyes fell back to yours, and his features softened ever so slightly when he spoke again.

"You could just stay here with us. We'd take care of your needs for you. You'd be part of the pod. Why leave?"

"What if I get lonely?" you countered. 

"You can't be lonely. You'd have us. There's nothing we can't give you that your kind can."

"I need sunlight! I can't stay in the darkness for very long. And what if I get sick? How will I get medicine?"

"We'll do what we have to do to keep you healthy. We know how to heal and have our ways."

"What if they don't work on me?"

"They will work."

His last argument wasn't more than a sharp hiss that made even the others tense. Krill wasn't budging as much as you could tell. He realized the harsh way he cut down your concerns when you flinched, obviously disagreeing and unhappy with his beliefs. Bringing a large palm to his face, he rubbed over it, looking as if this situation was giving him a headache. 

"If you want to leave, be my guest. But it's here where you are safe and cared for. I promise you now that we won't let harm come to you and take care of your needs. Out there, we can't guarantee for anything. You'd be prey to anyone but us."

But how could you be sure?

Taking a deep breath, you sagged as the tension dispersed, the realization that you were powerless against someone as stubborn and confident as Krill washing over you. Exhaustion spread through your bones, this whole day having gone on for far too long. You weren't sure what time it was, but your mind was tired, your body thoroughly mangled after everything, and your will to continue fighting Krill nearing zero. 

A hand reached up, cupping your cheek, and when you forced your eyes to open, you saw the soft violet of Lyr's peering up at you. He had long settled in your lap, always threatening to slip off your knees if you moved. Still, he kept himself light and comfortable without you having to do anything. "Would you like to sleep?" he asked, and you chuckled at the obvious expression you must have been making for him to figure this out. 

"Yes," you confirmed. "Yes, I think I need some rest."

There was no real trust in Krill's words that they'd keep you safe, especially not when you'd be as vulnerable as you would be while asleep. But continuing like this had no future. You two would only argue until one of you would break down, and you had a feeling it wouldn't be you. 

Looking up at the pool next to the edge, you wondered how deep it would go. How far away you were from the surface and from land to step on. Maybe, just maybe, you could make it. Perhaps they were lying to you, and you were close to home but trusting them naively that you were lost at sea still. A spark of fight lit up in you again, one that would make sure to get you out of here. They didn't seem to care that it was easy to leave them, allowing large gaps between their bodies for you to access the pool. It may be your death sentence one way or another, but they never tried to hide the obvious way out from you. There was a chance that leaving would be a great success, however slim it was.

But then again, what if Krill was right? Was it worth all the trouble? Was leaving really the right thing to do? Aside from being rough around the edges with their touches, they hadn't hurt you yet. But none of them made efforts to eat or kill you. Krill even indulged your curiosity instead of pushing you away. They've looked out and took care of you, and maybe someday they'd take you back to land and you'd have loads of information and studies on real-life fantasy creatures. Giving in to Krill's offers of safety and care would not guarantee immediate freedom but seemed like the easy way out without fighting and struggling as much. Plus, great rewards in the long run! But could you come to peace with this decision? A decision someone else made for you.

Lyr lifted from your lap, a weight coming off only to be replaced by a giant palm at your back and another hand slipping between your thighs and shins. Before you could protest, you were lifted from the ground bridal-style, Nerrocan hauling you over to the soft fur from before and setting you down on top of it gently as if you weighed nothing. 

"Let's sleep over it," he murmured as he sat you down, releasing one hand to pull down a fur that had hung from the wall, draping it over your shoulders instead. "We can discuss it again after we've rested and cleared our minds. There's no need to rush."

Gripping the fur, you brought it in front of yourself, placing it over your legs and chest. It was just as soft as the one beneath you, and you appreciated the warmth starting to build beneath it, discovering just how cold your body actually was. Looking around you, you watched as Lyr settled on the far end of the ledge, yawning with his mouth wide open, and you realized they were all settling in for the night with you. 

Krill laid down on his stomach between you and Lyr, resting his head on his arms. He faced away from you, sulking, but there was an ever-so-slight shift of his hip in your direction until it bumped against your leg, and he was satisfied. As if he was seeking your warmth, making sure you were there. Looking to your left, Nerrocan was the only one that hadn't completely relaxed yet, watching you sit between him and Krill stiffly. 

"Rest up. You need the strength."

"I know," you mumbled, but still didn't move. The restless, panicked part of you still hadn't decided what to do, and your thoughts circled around your options. 

"I'll keep watch. You're safe," Nerrocan insisted, thinking this was the problem. Well, he wasn't wrong. But were you really safe with these creatures? Could you ever be? Or were all of them just liars trying to bring out the most despair they could by attacking you while you'd least expect it?

Nerrocan laid down on his side, facing you and resting his head on his hand before patting the space next to him, urging you to settle. Your eyes swayed from his to the pool again as you weighed your options once more. You didn't want to stay with these creatures longer than necessary and be a slave to their whims. But you also felt anxious not knowing what awaited you outside his cave. Maybe things would become clearer about what you had to do once your mind was less muddled by exhaustion. After a good night's sleep, you could think of new ways and exit plans than you had so far. 

[restesdelune]

*A Richonne Content Rant*

> Comin' Soon on Restes de Lune ?

Hi TWD fam, Richonners, gals, guys and theys

I've been editing like crazy but the youtube algorithm won't let me post my 20min edit of HRWB #3 - Next World Lovin' (A day in the life of Rick Grimes) without butchering my work. Looks like I won't be able to finish this series with a bang like I hoped.

So here's a load of stills to give you an idea since for now, all my hours on it just went down the drain. I still want to share something though, as I know others are just like me :) Maybe I'll share snippets, bits by bits... :(

Here's the first part

Idk, looks sexy and funny to me! ^^

I still don't understand why so many channels can host whole scenes of the show online, HD scene packs and longer edits and seem unbothered (good for them!) but I can't ?

Whyyy Ô Whyyy ?

My Richonne rabbit hole originally started with an Ultimate Edit From the prison to Alexandria. It was right after watching The Ones Who Live as it was released and I needed to go back and re-experience Richonne all over again. Unfortunately, it was too long of an edit and my hardware could not keep up...

That's when I took on smaller endeavours, exploring the origins of Richonne further from behind the scenes. I love listening to Danai talking about her work. So many actors tend to respond quite superficially to questions about their characters, Danai has such a profound understanding of Michonne, it shows both on and off screen and I'm here for all of it.

Then, I've explored more behind the scenes with Andrew and Danai's chemistry, and how it showed and still shows up on screen years later, and have many of us hooked, locked in a love chokehold everytime we see Rick and Michonne gazing into each others' eyes. That's how HRWB #2 came to become Dandy On Set and Off.

Yes, I'm fluffy like that and have no shame about it :)

Anyway...

I'll still try to edit further HRWB#3 and share it with you what I can, but I need to cut back my Richonne hours and find new ways to engage with the fandom if I can't find a better solution.

My series How Richonne Was Born was supposedly a lighter prelude to the deeper and more interesting work I want to share (see The Ones Who Love Live On teaser). Might take a while though, as I work too slow for the algo, so don't hesitate to sub to check me out here, on youtube and twitter to follow the work.

And yes, I'm gonna get even fluffier with these ones, and a lot more political too. Fingers crossed!

I still plan to share everything I wrote (essays and fanfic), it will only take yet a lot more time and creativity. Maybe I should just forget video and do a podcast? Just brainstorming in the tumblr open...

If you're into any of it let me know, feedbacks and advice are welcome! I may have started this on a whim but I found people along the way, and it's always easier when we're not alone and have support, right?

My posts about

"The Last Grimes"

The Michonne effect

Mother Michonne

**** See You around and Happy Shipping ****

[isa-ghost]

honestly I think you are so awesome and deserve all good things in life and I appreciate your role in the community sm, like I think I'd stick around even if you posted about things I know nothing about because just seeing you on the dash makes me go "omg its isa!" (even when its discourse lmao)

What The Fuck this is so sweet!! ;^; 💚💚

Worry not, I'm not leaving QSMP yet. Even if it hurts. If Phil's done, I'll likely migrate to Fit for it. Provided he streams when Phil doesn't. 😅

And I'll be damned if this stops me from completing AMFMN. Apollo has hinted during a brief reading with him that he'll kick my ass. We NEED more Phil centric fics, it's half the reason I said fuck it we ball and started AMFMN to begin with. That goblin of a deity is INVESTED in the story. I think I'd get sunburn for eternity if I left it incomplete.

And I have a perhaps therapeutic idea to write Phil coming home to the Hardcore World via Rose after departing with the kids. I think I'm gonna go for it, even if it hurts to write and I cry during doing so. :p

I'm not sure what'll become of that QSMP AU I was cooking on but I don't think I'll discontinue that before it even begins either. Additionally, I've played with the idea of just. Continuing some kind of AU storyline post-AMFMN. Like writing stuff (headcanons or short story(s)) after the events of the fic. We'll see.

I've been miserable at worst and palpably sad at best the last 2 days, and we'll see what happens during and after Phil's stream today, but.. at least for now at this good hour of 10am, I'm feeling,, better-ish. Cautiously optimistic. I don't want to leave (and I especially don't want to lose the amazing mutuals and friends I've made 😭). I'm not going anywhere.

But if you're curious, here's some other interests you'll see here besides QSMP:

I'm a Phil main first and foremost. Even if he's done on QSMP, I watch every minute of EVERY stream. Hardcore my fucking beloved. I won't hesitate to start cooking up more hardcore Phil headcanons or a fic or AU.

After Phil, I watch Sneeg second most. I also watch Hermits/Lifers & friends, Ranboo (yes hello I love Genloss), Tubbo & a bunch of others. Like I said, Death Family's end on QSMP isn't my end in QSMP, nor MCYT. :)

I barely post abt it anymore bc it's more bitter than sweet for me, but DSMP will always hold a place in my heart. I'm always down to talk about it if asked.

D&D/Critical Role/Candela Obscura (I've been dual-wielding hyperfixations on Phil & CR this whole time, you'd be getting Phil & CR primarily if I fell out of QSMP for some reason)

Related, I plan on getting into Dimension 20 sometime and I also want to watch LA/NY By Night. TTRPG enjoyers that follow me will be getting FED.

I FUCKING LOVE DRAWFEE!!!

Anime!! Bungo Stray Dogs, JJK, Soul Eater, Apothecary Diaries, Frieren, and a bunch of others are my faves/current faves :)

I'm actually primarily an OC and roleplay person, it's my biggest special interest and I've been doing it for 12+ years. It's why I love mcrp so much. I'd probably post this stuff on @isas-oc-asylum and then reblog here if anyone was interested, idk. But I have an entire original world + country full of lore and characters I could talk about for eternity

I FUCKING LOVE HORROR PODCASTS. Magnus Archives & Protocol, Welcome to Night Vale, Old Gods of Appalachia!!

Veteran followers of me know I was originally a Jacksepticeye & Markiplier ego theorist blog before 2020! I have so many AUs of them and I love them still even though new content with them is slow. (I like Sanders Sides a decent amount too!)

I love talking about witchcraft!! I'm always down to infodump, answer questions, or gush about my goofy ass deity circle!! <3

Controversial (/s) but I love the Hazbin & Helluva series. I also love other indie series like Murder Drones, TADC and Lackadaisy!

I'm also slowly watching The Dragon Prince with friends!!

I've reblogged stuff plenty of times but I fucking love The Owl House & Gravity Falls

When will Arcane return from the war,,,, 😔 (soon)

I won't hesitate to plunge into the Monster Prom series deeper. Milo Belladonna and Damien LaVey my lomls I will get monsterfuckery on main I s2g

Basically... I'm a fuckin charcuterie board of interests!! Realistically, I'll still mainly be Phil/Sneeg/CR. But I'm always down to be abnormal about all that 👆🏻 and more.

If any of that interests anyone reading this, feel free to stick around. Or keep beating me with QSMP & Phil stuff in my asks. I'll still always be down to write headcanons and talk about fic stuff. I love qPhil too much to shut up forever.

And if it doesn't? Congrats, I'm also a massive shitposter. I have like 3 different tags for it. Feast your eyes upon how funny I am. It's like the one thing I'm confident in about myself, I'm fucking hilarious.

Honest Opinion Anon Asks

[miraculous-pyromaniac]

I am nearly silent about the things i write, both irl and unfortunately on my blog as well, for different reasons.

The simplest reason is my silence irl bc i kind of just dont have anyone to talk to my ideas about. My closest friends generally dont have any intrest in fanfiction and even if they were, me and my friends participate in very seperate fandoms and sometimes struggle to overlap our intrests. So i just generally keep my fanworks to myself most of the time.

I also dont talk about my work much on my blog either(which is kinda the only social media i use) and thats mainly because im just not the type of person who enjoys broad social media engagement, so i just rarely make my own posts.

This all kind of leads to bursts of hyperfixation and progress on any stories or WIPs i have that come about randomly and long droughts of my content.

Also i have this huge anxiety about people seeing any idea i would post about and 'stealing' it from me. Like this is a constant anxiety for me, idk why. Im probably hesitating to hit post on this post and then thinking of deleting it.

Like obviously a writer doesnt want to post spoilers for something theyre working on, but im paranoid to even post ideas for possible fics i may think of for new WIPs, leaving my ideas to rot alone in my mind until i lose intrest bc i have no one to talk to about them.

Anyway, in what im sure is a healthy way to overcome this apparent fear ive just realised i have, ima post a list of WIPs and ideas that are currently collecting dust, most of them i beleive seeing light from my dark google docs cave for the first time ever

Most of these mare miraculous labybug ideas

A miraculous soulmate AU based around Chloe where her initial meeting with her soulmate ends up with them basically dead from a speeding truck. The story is Chloe's journey of navigating the world angry and jealous of everyone else who has soulmates and learning how to deal with that stuff. Ace medifore maybe? Idk just seemed like a fun idea.

A miraculous Myvan AU where Master Fu had the 'native american miracle box'(Which i refer to as the Thunderbox) instead of the 'Chinese miracle box'(aka the Motherbox). He pickes Mylene and Ivan to be heroes weilding new miraculous of my design against an enemy who holds the Motherbox, with more than half the miraculous within being heavily damaged/destoyed. Shown by the below image(right of the red line completely unuseable, on red line damaged but technically funtional like a canon peacock, left of the line are undamaged)

A Percy Jackson story with OCs made by me and by bff which would run parallel to the canon story where I play with background characters and plot to create my own stories. The MC is the child of a goddess so minor Riordon never mentioned her, Euphrosyne, and a devout champion of Hestia.

And even a couple of original story ideas like

An 'everyone has a superpower' concept where the MCs are all artificial 'bornx from a kid whose power is to create new people by giving up parts of their soul. While not a completely original power in this world, its unique by the fact that the MCs here have their own powers, unlike other people created from such a power. This leads to the goverment trying to capture and use this kid to custom create soldiers.

A magical college type story where the MC is a healer in love with a plant mage, which eventually becomes mutual and loving relationship things until plant mage is suddenly killed by an assassin, sending MC on a revenge spiral. Said assassin is MC#2 who is being used by shady folks as an assassin due to her particular abilty for death magic. The two of them team up to dismantle the shady organisation and maybe a goverment later on. Their relationship is also completely non-romantic, but they grow extreamly close to each other.

Uh yeah. I have ideas. I just never talk about them.

Out of genuine curiosity, to fanfic writers in the world, how vocal are you about the fic you write on your blog? I never know when to start talking about my ideas and eventually the lack of traction or discussion has my passion fizzle out with nobody knowing the idea existed at all (except me, of course) anyway im simply curious :)

[willowistic22]

Famous!newsies

Ok so here are my famous!newsies headcanons from an a modern au i thought of if newsies were celebrities/famous yknow bcs I couldn’t get this idea out of my head and idk what to do with it other than making a headcanon list nabsnzbsvsnsbz anyways hope yall validate me after not posting any original content for like…. awhile now hehe

btw it got longer than expected. And I mean r e a l l y long. So if yall wanna read this better sit down and buckle up! 

Jack

He’s an artist on youtube

Like a modern day bob ross ig??

If yall know zhc on youtube just imagine that but not so rich (I don’t watch zhc btw but i do know that he does custom art on iphones and stuff and that is definitely not jack kelly)

Anyways Jack simply goes by Jack Kelly.

So jack does art challenges. Like does the weirdest requests from his fans left in his comment section and stuff

Or maybe challenging himself to make art from a specific theme or a specific media

Sometimes he vlogs too but his art videos are what his fans like the most

His merch is amazing because he designed the pattern/drawing/whatever yknow. It’s printed/sewed/whatever on the clothing and it’s good quality. It’s pretty lowkey for a youtuber’s merch bcs jack doesn’t like those merch that just smacks his logo on a hoodie

Davey

He’s a fantasy, YA, romance writer (he mixes it wisely ok?)

And goes by David Jacobs

Listen he’s a hopeless romantic and i’m pretty sure yall agree too

He wanted to stick to YA romance. The classic high school lovers yknow

But he wanted to challenge himself since he’s been writing about high school lovers since he was in high school

Thus the fantasy genre came in mind

So yeah he likes creating love in his own universe

Whether it’d be different worlds, universe, species, time periods, whatever.

He wanted to direct the movies based on his books, but he’s actually lowkey terrible at leading on his own. But he did stick to being the script writer and co-director (look idk how it works in the film industry i’m just making shit up)

Crutchie

He’s a solo jazz singer

Crutchie gives off Michael Buble and Jason Mraz vibes tho

And maybe a bit of frank sinatra? Yknow ‘cause he sings jazz

Also he riffs thank you very much :)

He goes by Crutchie Morris to everyone

He usually plays the acoustic guitar or piano on stage

Ok but he’s like really good with the piano

Makes the best jokes on stage too. Some are just sarcastic comments.

Crutchie asking through the microphone : “Oh, straight?”

A fan he’s talking to from the crowd : “Uhh… no, gay”

Crutchie : “no not you, the vodka”

Everyone at the concert : *laughs*

Crutchie, jokingly : “Oh, you’re drinking vodka! Straight? No gay”

(yes that was indeed inspired by that one video of Harry Styles and a fan in one of his concerts yall can’t stop me)

Kathrine

She’s a crime mystery writer

Think like the modern day Agatha Christie

Okok but she goes by Kathrine Plumber on her books :D

She chooses that genre bcs she’s a huge fan of Agatha Christie

Her favorite book from Agatha is Murder on the Orient Express

Oh and her books are sometime very gruesome alkjsfhakjsfb

Nobody check her browsing history, she’ll look like a murderer

Ok but I feel like she also has a youtube channel about books and stuff and sometimes like to vlog

She also has a writing tips series on her channel where she shares tips on some of the frequently asked questions about writing or her fans leave a specific question in the comment section and thought she could expand more to it in a full length video

Also she likes to vlog while she’s in a book convention

Her books are also turned into movies and she has done a great job directing it

Race

Yall would be lying to me if you don’t think this kid would end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber (like vlogging yknow. I feel like his gaming stuff would strictly be on twitch)

And ik it’s widely agreed by everyone in the fandom that he’s a dancer of some sort so yeah he’s also simultaneously a dancer

I don’t think I need to explain any further bcs it’s just so in character

He goes by Racetrack Higgins

Ok so he likes to vlog on his youtube channel

Sometimes does stupid challenges

Maybe he’d drag Albert to do a challenge which he always says no

“I’ll just be your cameraman dude, dw”

Race : *angery*

Since Al and Smalls are the skateboard peeps™ race is the rollerblade dude™ bcs I say so

He has three cats named Racecat Higgins, Spot Clawlon, and Romeow (i’ve mentioned it before and I will mention it again hehe) and his fans loves them endlessly

Albert

You don’t think this kid would also end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber like his bestie up there?? Lmao you thought wrong (again, gaming is strictly on his twitch)

He just goes by Albert DaSilva on the internet

And yes he’s also a dancer because I say so

On his Youtube channel he also vlogs

Half of his vlogs starts with him riding his skateboard

“Hey, guys! Welcome back to another vlog-” *falls off his skateboard for not paying attention to a curb*

It happens way more often than he’d like to admit let’s be real. His fans make a compilation of it and memes on reddit

Always wear a snapback

Snapbacks are an important element to him so his merch store is really boosting his snapbacks

And just for the wormsie discord server he has one with the word ranga on it after it being born from a stupid inside joke he, race, and both of their fanbases combined share (@ my wormsie fam thank me later)

Oh yeah, his youtube besties are Race and Smalls just so we’re clear here :) (I’ll get to Smalls in a bit)

So I always headcanon Albert having two big dobermans. So his fans always want to see a doggy update because Zara and Zoey are everything to them.

Doggo vlogs are fun. It’s usually Albert taking the two good girls to Central Park for playtime or teaching them new tricks

Spot

He’s a solo rock singer

Is an amazing singer like wow none of the newsies expected him to have that sort of pipes to reach high notes

And he does it amazingly with no sweat

Also his instrument is the electric guitar to go with his amazing singing ajsfhasjfhajhf

Anyways he goes by Spot Conlon still

And his songs are very lyrical. Like very.

A lot of metaphors. No one knows what most of his songs means.

So basically Taylor Swift songs if it switched genres to rock. And not even like songs from speak now or red. But like if evermore and folklore songs were to turn into rock songs with a little bit of reputation vibes sprinkled on top. And his concerts has the reputation era vibes but make it spot conlon (hey non swiftie fans reading this i’m so sorry i’m pretty sure yall don’t understand wtf i’m talking abt)

That is also the only way i know to describe his vibe i’m sorry but i don’t really listen to a lot of rock alkjhfasjk

Anyways it’s a known fact that he wears tank tops daily that it becomes his signature look. And also an inside joke among his fanbase

Now just picture the merch booth from one of his shows and there’s like endless tank top designs for his fans to pick and choose

He’s also crowned to be the King of Brooklyn bcs of obvious reasons

But the joke is he’s a pretty tough hardcore guy that’s a cat person

Sarah

She’s a badass female solo singer

Mostly does pop but the badass type of pop

Yes, she does go by Sarah Jacobs

Fans were really surprised Davey and Sarah are related

Because one is a hopeless romantic while the other is a total badass

Anyways she gives off Little mix, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez vibes

That is literally the only way I can describe it

She’s very lyrical, with a lot of metaphors

When she dances on stage, she d a n c e s

All while holding a mic to sing. And she hits all those high notes like it’s no ones business (a literal queen i tell you)

She and Spot are besties and has been known to have done a few collabs together

Their fans were hesitant about their collabs since their genre is pretty different from the other but they make it work and it slAPS

And among all her boppy songs with full choreography and backup singers, she always have a few songs she sings while only being accompanied by piano or guitar (Either electric or acoustic) which she plays on her own

Finch

He’s an indie pop artist with his trusted acoustic guitar by his side

Just think of music by Wallows and Lewis Capaldi were to be blended in together and Conan Gray for the cherry on top

But it has a little bit of Ed sheeran, Lorde, and Lauv vibes to it too

His concerts are simple but his songs are mostly very boppy so his fans still have fun either way

And it’s usually in small venues but there are times where he had a concert in a huge stadium

He goes by FINCH (yeah all caps btw)

Finches are a very on brand thing for him obviously

Has been known to collab with Crutchie and they actually make a very good team

Somehow was able to combined both genres to produce a few boppy songs

Ok ok but Finch and Crutchie have made a collaborative album (and maybe they went on tour????)

Specs 

He’s a history fiction writer

Yes this is inspired by the fact that he’s 100% a history nerd (no one change my mind i love this headcanon aight)

And he explores a lot of different histories from different parts of the world

He actually helps a lot of students understand history even further for school through his novels

Anyways he goes by Specs because I say so

No one knows why that’s his pseudonym and Specs isn’t interested in explaining either. No one other than the newsies need to know it was born from a stupid nickname the newsies gave him :)

His research mostly comes from history books because of his genre which wouldn’t be a problem since he has loads and will voluntarily buy more if needed

Also yeah he makes a great director for the movies taken from his books

Mush

He’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Mush Meyers

So think if Gordon Ramsey and his youtube channel but make it mush

Yeah that’s it really

Ok but Mush is a jolly and friendly person

Other than just food vlogging he does cooking challenges and cooking tips too

Sometimes he does the cooking challenges with a friend (mostly henry but i’ll get to him later on in the list)

But he also vlogs his life

Which isn’t really often but he likes to sometimes

He’s that big of a foodie he has a food blog too

And also a seafood restaurant so that’s cool :D

Henry

Like Mush, he’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Henry on the internet and in general

Ajkfhajfjska I’m thinking about how ppl would address him as Chef Henry kajhfkjlashfjklasfjklsf

He mostly does the same thing like Mush actually

Food vlogging and cooking challenges (they do it together so) sometimes cooking tips

But Henry vlogs his life a lot

And instead of a food instagram he has a food blog

He has a sandwich restaurant

Yeah it is inspired by his pastrami on rye with a sour pickle line from KONY get mad about it why don’t ya (well if i’m not mistaken henry was the one that said it but idk i have horrible memory) 

Blink

He’s a youtuber

Ok so I have a specific headcanon that Blink majored in psychology but didn’t end up being a psychologist

So instead he becomes a psychologist on youtube

Who often vlogs jhgasjlfhs

The guy looks like he could cut you but his sense of humor once you get him talking is just *chef’s kiss* amazing

Which is why he also has a podcast because he’s also secretly great at talking

He just thinks mental health is very important, okay?

Romeo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has worked with Hollywood before

He’s usually a supporting character but has been known to understudy for main characters

Ok ik these bullet points are getting shorter and shorter but these are mostly bcs some of these stuff are pretty self explanatory since it’s very in character

Like are you telling me a kid named Romeo isn’t gonna be in some way very dramatic and end up turning that personality trait into his career?? Plus he’s very good at that?

Yeah you’re lying to me

Also he’s a pretty frequent vlogger on youtube

Look he’s a fun guy, what did you expect?

Just goes by Romeo on youtube

Elmer

He’s an actor

Has done his fair share in Broadway and Hollywood but started in Broadway

He can dance but thinks he’s pretty average in it yknow

Which his fans has no idea what he’s talking about because on stage he can do flips and turns like it’s no ones business yknow

But he can sing really good and takes pride in it

Elmer would play characters that is really far off from his own personality that fans couldn’t believe that Elmer played that character

He has done his fair share in main characters and supporting characters on Broadway

In Hollywood he usually does indie and rom-com movies

Buttons

He’s a fashion youtuber and basically an influencer 

Let’s be real this boy is a fashion icon

He’s not really a model but more like a fashion influencer and also kind of a fashion designer

His clothing line is very *chefs kiss* amazing

He designed it all and sometimes likes to design for his friends as well

He also does fashion tips on his youtube channel

His instagram game is god tier level (along with Tommy Boy and Sniper I’ll get to them in a bit) 

But yeah he also vlogs

And goes by Buttons Davenport

Jojo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has done a few movies in Hollywood

He radiates main character energy and he does become the main character most of the time (on hollywood at least)

On Broadway he mostly enjoys being apart of the ensemble because this boy loves dancing

But he does play a few supporting characters

He has released one or two albums too because his singing is top tier

But isn’t interested in doing a lot of live concerts with his albums

Since no one has the time to say Josephino Jorgelino De La Guerra he turned it into Jojo De La Guerra (so much for ‘a special nickname only for friends and family’)

Mike and Ike

They’re a pop boy band and bcs of my lack of creativity it’s called Mike and Ike

At the start of their career :

“My name goes first because I’m older than you!” - Mike

“You’re only older than me by 13 minutes, holy shit!” - Ike

But Ike slowly accepts the fact that it’ll be like this yknow

Anyways they’re pretty great singers

They have one direction and new hope club vibes

Tho unlike one direction they can dance (i love the boys alright but i really think it’s funny that they can’t dancelkhjjlh)

They like to switch from the guitar (electric and/or acoustic) to the piano

The amount of times their name is confused by the candy is too many 

But they like it like that lol

Anyways i’ve mentioned a headcanon where Mike has tattoos (not like from head to toe but it’s fairly noticeable to everyone) and Ike has piercings

So the only way their fans tell them apart is by that

But there are times where Mike has his tattoos covered or Ike took his piercings off in public alone. A fan mistakens them for the other twin but they still respond to the other name because they don’t feel like there’s a need to correct them since they’re mostly known by Mike and Ike anyways. When the fan posts it on instagram and tags the twin they thought it was the twin that was tagged would comment “wrong twin but nice pic you two”

Happens wayyyyy too many times. Their fans are officially scared to approach one of the two in public alone without their differentiating indicators on which is which

And yes it is widely known that they argue a lot when it comes to writing songs

Nothing out of the ordinary sibling squabble yknow but it’s a lot

But they do end up finding a solution to the topic of their argument and make a good team at the end of the day

Hotshot

He’s an actor

On Broadway, he’s one of those actor’s that is mostly good in just the acting and singing

He can’t dance to save his life sjdfghaf

So Jeremy Jordan yknow asj;oghajshf

No not really. He can dance a little bit

So he’s mostly the main character

But he’s widely known for his works in Hollywood

He does a lot of drama. Think stuff like Elite and Designated Survivor. Yeah those kinds of heavy drama (well idk i think those two are pretty heavy)

He wants to release his own music because he’s a pretty good singer but he can’t write songs to save his life either jgnjafjasf

And all the demo songs he was suggested by producers isn’t his cup of tea

So he’s no singer ladies and gents ://

The name Hotshot is used to name his social media platforms. He always adds a description in his bio’s that Hotshot is a nickname his friends and family use so his fans and the media refer to him with his name

I headcanon Hotshot’s real name is Tyler or some sort. No don’t ask me what’s his last name is because idk either lol

Sniper

She’s a model, beauty and fashion youtuber (I’m pretty sure those are two different things tho idk i don’t watch youtube religiously anymore), and just an influencer in general

Instagram game on p o i n t

I know most beauty youtubers go by their names but uhh… i don’t think i’ve ever thought of a first name for Sniper but I really think she really would just go by Sniper Wah on the internet (Idk she seems like an Ashley in my head but feel free to recommend headcanon names to me)

Anyways she’s very fashionable

Tommy Boy (i’ll get to him just wait aight?) and Buttons are her fashion besties

The three of them pretty much appear in each other’s Youtube video not Tommy’s tho bcs he doesn’t have one lol

Sniper’s brand are huge sun hats

I have no idea how or why but that girl has sun hats vibes I can’t explain any further I’m sorry

Doesn’t have a clothing line but does have a make up brand of her own. She calls it Sniper. Yeah that’s it akjfhjf

Smalls

She’s a twitch streamer and youtuber like race and albert

They’re a youtube trio everyone loves it

And yes she does go by Smalls

Oh and she also dances like her two stupid besties thanks for asking

Bubblegum is her brand (idk how to explain she just has the vibe)

She is skateboard chick

I’m imagining a video collab of her and Al on a skatepark doing stupid challenges

It’s her most viewed video

Tommy Boy

Ok ok he’s a model, influencer, and dancer

So think a male version of Gigi Hadid that dances

No he doesn’t have a youtube channel but frequently has made an appearance on Buttons’ and Sniper’s videos

Yes his instagram feed is also very amazing

He goes by Tommy Boy

People genuinely thinking ‘Boy’ is actually his last name and kinda think it’s strange but doesn’t complain

Tommy literally didn’t think people would think it was his last name. But they did anyways

Les

Let’s just get straight to the point : he’s a famous tiktoker 

And yes, ppl are surprised at the fact that him, Davey, and Sarah are related to each other 

To the people that made it through this entire list. Congratulations and thank you for your validation. Have a wonderful evening and stay hydrated 

i will write at least one oneshot out of this au i promise!!

[ephemeralgalaxies]

Loki Ep4 Spoilers below (once more bc I just can't help myself, can I?)

It's been a while since I've had a character as interesting as Mobius to analyze and I have no chill. Spoilers start below:

Also some spoilers for WandaVision but it's been months so hopefully y'all have seen it

TL;DR Mobius really trying to connect back with Loki in order to try and bring the TVA down (and also bc "oops, Loki was right, guess I gotta own up to that bitterness") and it works but it hurts so much. Also see: I can't stop watching this scene over and over trying to understand Mobius' subtle actions bc his reaction here is so different than in all other scenes where he's usually calm or trying to delve deep into Loki's mind for information. Now he's just desperate.

Ok so I know I made a post talking about Mobius' jealousy in that interrogation scene but I also want to touch on when he comes back again after seeing the footage from C-20's interrogation scene bc man is so desperate here and I'm crying

(I'm sorry, I can't get gifs to work for me today so we just using images. But I got these from this post)

Mobius was so hurt last time we saw him, Loki being thrown back into the time cell with Lady Sif, hitting our dear agent with "out of all the liars in this place... you are the biggest... for the [lies] you tell yourself." Mobius has been pushing down all these doubts, hiding all his questions and curiosities of the TVA for a while. He's teased Ravonna, but could never really get anywhere. Then after speaking with Loki about Sylvie, about "you're all variants", Hunter B-15's suspicions, the oddness of C-20's "death" (M:"she was just fine before." R:"well, then she suddenly wasn't fine."). Mobius is finally allowing himself to realize things, to question truly what is going on. (R: "Is that what you wanted to hear?" M: "Yeah, if that's the truth." R: "You've been around Lokis too long.")

In this scene, when he comes back to the time cell for Loki, he's frustrated, he's angry, he's desperate. Everything is a lie. He can't pretend anymore. Loki has bonded with Sylvie (actually caring for another human being without the trauma of Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok) ((I'm begging you, pls let him see a variant of Thor in this series and get to bond again, I miss them)). C-20 is likely pruned and gone forever with no answers. B-15 is getting anxious and unfocused. Ravonna is snapping at him and manipulating him with those long speeches (please, Mobius has heard enough from Loki's videos to know when he's being manipulated by fake sentimental words). He's tired, no longer patient enough for all the little quips-- he just need answers. For once in his "life" at the TVA, he just wants the truth. Something to safely hold to.

He's just put Loki through this timeloop of Lady Sif, of someone from home someone that could've been close to him under different circumstances, someone his brother cared about, kicking him/slapping him/ berating him with "you deserve to be alone, and you always will be." Loki's whole "Sacred Timeline Life" marks him to "always be alone", to finally get close to people before being torn away (whether in his own volition or by someone/something else). But with Loki caring for Sylvie, maybe even loving her, this changes everything for this Loki. He could finally care enough to save someone, to go out of his way in order to help others at his own cost. And Mobius knows this.

He asks again, desperate, pleading, hoping. Loki has to believe in himself, has to love himself enough to think to believe that he deserves a family, love, security from his greatest fear. He has to have changed because if not, then he'll either get pruned or wind up just like Mobius. Either way, gone from existence-- life erased, precious memories of "what if", "what once was", obliterated. He has to believe, or it'll happen again and again and again. To everyone, to the whole universe, unless something someone could do the impossible and shatter all reality.

With Wanda (specifically in WandaVision, final episode end credits), with her searching for her children and Vision, attempting the impossible and blending her realities in order to give them life because she needs them, she loves them. (M: "If you really care about [Sylvie]..."). This threat to the Sacred Timeline, pushing closer and closer to the MCU Multiverse, because they have to, because they want to.

(sorry again for bland picture, I love his expression in this gif but it wont load)

Mobius knows Loki is hurting-- from Lady Sif, from his past, from failing to protect Sylvie on his own, from Mobius not believing him and calling him "just a bad friend". He knows Loki could learn to believe, but he doesn't yet. Only Frigga ever told him she believed in him, he needs to hear it again. He needs to know he deserves love because he is loved. Mobius does, "believe, stupidly" (ep2) that Loki has this potential.

When I first saw this scene in the trailers, I was nervous it would be in the context of Mobius trying to get Loki on the TVA's side, "someone good". But here, this is so much better-- he knows the TVA is lying, is manipulating, is destroying lives. (L: "No one bad is every truly bad, and no one good is ever truly good" ep2 again lol). Loki knows he's not "truly good", that he's hurt people-- whether he planned to or not. But he can still be good. He can still choose to love, to care, to believe.

He can be what he's always wanted, what Frigga promised him, what he's always feared. He can be known, be loved, be safe-- Loki doesn't just fear being alone, he fears people choosing to leave him. That's why the memory of Lady Sif instead of Thor reaching for him on the Rainbow Bridge or Thanos threatening the Asgardian refugees or even Odin trying to explain why he "saved" Loki when he fought Loki's homeland. This memory was casual, simple, unnecessary. But it's always the smallest moments that truly impact us the most-- the slight changes.

When Mobius says this to Loki, he freezes-- he's confused, hesitant, scared. No one tells him this, why is someone telling him this, how can I believe this?

And then:

.And the little shrug Mobius gives here

It's so casual, so simple, so nonchalant. He just wants to reassure Loki that he still cares. He just spent a whole interrogation hounding on Loki for finding love with Sylvie, for changing with her (jealous boi be jealous), for lying to him and betraying him (M: "You don't do partners... unless ofc it benefits you and you intend to betray them at some point"). But now, now he's stopped lying to himself. He knows he cares, that Loki has a chance, that they have to burn this place down. Mobius wants stop this from ever happening again, from someone ever having to go through what Loki's gone through, being told they can never be loved because that's just how the Timeline goes. That a kid would be taken away from their family (probably because Sylvie presents feminine?? Idk, feel like MCU Odin wouldn't be so good with that). He has to reassure Loki, he wants to, because no one should ever feel that way again.

(and frick I really hate this, please look at the gifs from the linked post above, u gotta see his precious smile grow)

LOOK AT THIS SMILE, LOOK AT HIM HE'S HAPPY. And it was such a small, subtle apology from Mobius but it made all the difference bc he told Loki that he believes in him. And then they walk back out of the time cell, side-by-side, looking at each other. Content, safe, prepared to face the world together. He's no longer alone.

... And then ofc this happens...

*cue my heart shattering* (bless Hiddleston's acting).

The fact that you can even hear the hitch in Mobius' breath as he realizes this is the end of the line for him, that Ravonna knows and there's no going back--he's not making it out of this.

"One last desperate trick from the desperate trickster."

He talks about the jetski, about what his life might have been, he knows this hits Loki, being ripped from your timeline, losing all that potential. More importantly, it gives Loki a reason to fight. A silent, "Don't let this happen again. Don't let them get away with this. Please, remember me, don't let me disappear." But it doesn't work, because the one thing Mobius didn't account for, is that Loki cares about him. That now, the fight drains out of him. They pruned Mobius, ofc they'll get to Loki and Sylvie. They didn't even hesitate. Loki just lost, once again, the only other person who ever told him they believed in him. "You can be whoever, whatever..." "She told me I could do anything..."

Loki is less of a narcissist and more of a person desperate to fill that hole inside-- he's been neglected, cast aside, told he should want this and then never getting it. A "Glorious Purpose" to always hide in the shadows, to cause suffering, to give others a reason to unite against him. But for once, just once he hoped that he didn't have to do it alone-- that he could unite. And then they crushed those beautiful few seconds of hope like it was just another tedious, burdening purpose of the TVA.

(credits of images/gifs to the original posts linked, none were mine as I can't figure this out at all lol)

[emilythebookqueen]

No one cares but here are my thoughts on the first 3 episodes of Shadow and Bone:

-I love all the actors. They’re all so perfect and whilst some might not perfectly match the characters I see in my head, they’re really capturing their essence idk it’s great

-JESPER is incredible !! He’s gotta be my favourite so far, partially because he’s almost exactly how I imagined him being in the books, but also because Kit is doing a WONDERFUL JOB LIKE holy shit

-I wasn’t sure about Kaz at first but he seems to be becoming more Kaz-like as we go? Idk if that makes any sense

-LEIGH CAMEO WAS SO CUTE I SCREAMED

- I didn’t like how we were barely introduced to Nina as a character when she was immediately stoked by drüskelle - like why do we as viewers (pretending we haven’t read the books) care about her? Idk. Like I LOVE Nina so much and I wanted them to give us more of her before she was just taken away?? Let her develop her own character before Matthias is thrown in the mix?? Idk

- THE CUT WAS SO COOL!!!! ACTUALLY PERFECT

- I wonder why they’re calling the Darkling General Kirigan. I assume it’s because a name like ‘the Darkling’ kinda just makes you assume he’s evil? It doesn’t REALLY matter but like I wonder why they decided to do that

- I was worried they weren’t gonna make Zoya mean but thank god they delivered on that front

-The Apparat is so perfect and creepy I already hate him. He’s such a rat

-it’s interesting how they’ve added the dream sequences with the stag, but i think it’s a good addition

-all the stuff they’re doing with the crows is obviously new, but so far I’m enjoying it. I was hesitant when Inej was still like partially with the menagerie but it does make sense in the context of the show. And it also gives us that great moment of Kaz willing to give up the Crow Club for Inej. I wonder if they’ll fully explain the crow’s origin stories or if they’ll save that for another time?? Like say they do make more seasons, will they eventually make the contents of Six of Crows into a show too?? I guess we’ll have to wait and see

- one thing that the books have as an issue as well is that the exposition is very light - it really does not hold your hand and guide you into this world; you’re just thrust right in. And sometimes this is a good thing but it does have its disadvantages as well. I’m watching this with my friend who hasn’t read any of the books and I’m constantly having to pause to explain things to her. It just makes me worry that maybe people who haven’t read the books won’t enjoy it as much?? But idk I think it’s still enjoyable without having to understand every little detail about what’s going on

- the Darkling was sooo well cast and I can’t wait to see him be super evil and all that fun stuff.

This post is a mess LOL I just wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere whilst they’re still fresh in my mind

[sanchoyo]

Shigaraki

OH THANK GD SOMEONE ASKED FOR THE BOY

favorite thing about them: 

where do I start. someone (I cannot remember who I follow so many shigaraki stans I am so sorry kjadshjkf if I find the post I’ll link it here) called his Creepy Faces Junji Ito Faces ™ and. Honestly that’s prob where it Started. I love junji ito’s work and things that are a lil creepy? (I consume a lot of horror. I am not good at handling horror) but also he’s just..his CHARACTER GROWTH. he isn’t like any other villains in bnha, like, stain whom? you think overholes’s musty ass is out here genuinely caring for his team? he’s been thru so much n overcome it and DESPITE afo trying to groom him into a killing machine he still..seems to really care for the league (this current manga arc is destroying me, take a look at mr. “"you guys do what you want and I won’t destroy what you like”“ and hes didn’t even hesitate at ALL to go save giran…also he’s got 5/5 intelligence and has been showing it from day ONE, his HAIR IS SOFT and his eyes are PRETTY and his coat is FASHIONABLE and the SHOES THAT MATCH HIS EYES? I can’t pick (1) thing hes the best bnha boy :”“(

least favorite thing about them: 

I mean, he did try to kill froppy whom is my daughter. but he ALSO tried to kill m*neta and Did That to Overhole so I’ll get what I can take, u gotta give smth to receive I guess :/

favorite line: 

Oh I have a Lot. the one where he calls Stain tf out like ‘Aren’t we doing the same things? Wanton violence for the sake of it?’ and the one from one of the recent chapters about showing the league/the doctor heaven and hell on earth? its so Spicy. he invented and trademarked good villain monologues

brOTP:him+anyone in the league. however I would really also love to see him n Hawks interact (please. please this arc)

OTP:spinaraki is so fuckgn cute and *hipster voice* I was shipping it before this arc started B) if I was better at writing/drawing Spinner I’d 100% make more content for it

nOTP:shigadabi, idk why even. like there’s nothing wrong with it..the art is usually really nice and or cute..I just Can’t Get Into It for whatever reason? its got Good Content tho! also like him/afo or him/overhole are both ones ive seen and BIG YUCK

random headcanon:

afo forced him to play piano for finger control but. u know what he prefers to do instead of those finger exercises, for dexterities sake? viddy games with big controllers. those hand held ddr games. nerd. (but he can 100000% play piano I want to believe) 

unpopular opinion:a lot of people don’t like reverse hero/villain!aus because they strip the 'core driving factors’ of a character and normally I’d agree (villain deku is usually. Bad for this reason, it seems like an edgy oc asdfadf) but Shigaraki’s main motivations as we’ve seen come from a place of immense trauma and are Generally Very Unhealthy. I understand why portraying this, as in canon it’s important to his character, even in hero aus is okay to show, but I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with wanting him to have a happy childhood au either? Besides, he came from a hero family originally so, like, him being a hero in an au makes infinitely more sense to me than deku becoming a villain, If that makes any sense ?? tldr: hero!shigaraki is more valid than villain!deku

(also I’m a huge sucker for aus where the league still meets but aren’t villains or turns from villains to vigilantes bc im soft ugh :(( )

song i associate with them:One song? bold of you to assume I don’t have an entire playlist thats still a wip, (I’m also working on spinaraki and a general league playlist that are Super Not Done, but feel free to poke around my spotify for more Good Character Playlists)

favorite picture of them:

heres, an actual pic of me, booboo the fool showing u my, fav, singular picture of him,……..(its all of them, I like every pic of him, im an indecisive FOOL)

[singtheskyandfightlikehell]

Eurovision 2019 Opinions

Well, the 26 countries that will be participating in the final are official now, so here’s my in depth thoughts about each entry, ranked from least favorite to favorite along with explanations and a 10 pt rating system. honestly i thought this year was solidly mediocre. a few i really like, about 3 i can’t stand, and the rest are all smack dab in the middle of “decent”. of course, these are just my opinions and I totally get that people will disagree with them. i don’t really care. yeah there’s a few i’ll judge you for, but frankly my opinion shouldn’t matter to you. i’m just posting it for my own record and for anyone who might be curious

26. Slovenia (0/10) I know a lot of people like this entry, but frankly, I cannot stand it. It’s boring. It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. If I wanted to watch an m/f couple - or, you know what, any couple - stand really close to each other and mumble for three minutes, I - I don’t actually know where I’d go, because I can’t conceptualize myself ever wanting to see that.

25. Denmark (0/10) Again, why? This entry annoys me a lot, and the only reason I didn’t put it last was because I appreciate the use of more than one language. It’s my least favorite parts of all kids shows combined coupled with a message that honestly I disagree with. It feels a bit like she’s judging me for being upset at injustice in the world when I should just shut up and be happy about what I have. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe it’s acceptable to ignore atrocities just because my life is filled with good things. I could imagine this song being the welcoming number in a musical staged in one of those “everything is perfect on the outside but inside it’s the creepiest shit you’ve ever seen” towns that’s used to hypnotize the protagonist into not noticing the creepy shit

24. Estonia (1/10) I don’t honestly dislike this song, but it does bore me. He’s a mediocre singer with a mediocre song. Also I can’t get past the fact that he rhymes “this” with “this”. It distracts me and ruins the whole thing.

23. Czech Republic (2/10) I really didn’t like this one at first. It was irritating and the lyrics were weird. However, I surprisingly enjoyed the live performance. The lead singer has some charisma on stage. Good for him.

22. San Marino (3/10) No idea how he got to the final (I know it’s bc he’s a meme, but still), but I don’t hate the song. I don’t think it should win, but honestly, I think it’s fun. His voice is ridiculous, but I can stand it for three minutes.

21. UK (4/10) I definitely feel like this is the kind of generic song I’ve heard many times before, but he does a good job with it, and ultimately it’s alright. His hair makes me think of Finn Shelby from Peaky Blinders, but that’s neither here nor there.

20. North Macedonia (4/10) Honestly, I feel like I should like this song more than I do. She has a good voice, and the song has a good message. Unfortunately, it’s just never clicked with me, and I often find myself tuning out while listening to it.

19. Israel (5/10) I like his voice. He sells the emotion. Not a gripping song, by any means, but not bad. Some of the rhymes feel a little forced, like the lyrics were written specifically so that they would rhyme, rather than because they have meaning.

18. Germany (5/10) This one gets stuck in my head sometimes, but I’m okay with that. Tbh, I quite like it. Plus, the whole “sisters (but I’d say girls in general) are taught to tear each other down but need to build each other up instead” theme is one I wholeheartedly support. I spent too many years hating everything associated with girls because society told me to.

17. Malta (5/10) I go back and forth on this one a lot. Parts of it I like, parts of it I don’t. It feels a bit different to me, but not like, in a revolutionary way. The singer is strong, and it definitely gets the award for most colorful performance, literally!

16. Serbia (5/10) I feel like I’ve heard this entry before, too, but specifically at Eurovision. Still, she does a good job with it, and I like her armor-inspired jewelry. Plus, it’s not in English!

15. Belarus (5/10) Another one I go back and forth on. I find this is very good study music - energetic and repetitive enough not to be distracting. I don’t love it (I’m even hesitant to say I like it lmao), but people really ought to stop hating on her so much. She’s sixteen. Let her have her fun.

14. Albania (6/10) I really liked Albania’s entry this year tbh. I didn’t feel she sang as strong in the semi-final as she did in the music video, but otherwise I thought it was a very powerful song. The staging was pretty cool, too!

13. Azerbaijan (6/10) I loved everything about this except the refrain. The “shut up about it” bit starts to get on my nerves by about the second refrain. But the verses sounded cool and the staging was awesome!

12. Sweden (6/10) Not the most exciting song in the world, but he sounds good, the ladies sound great, and there’s nothing I dislike about the song or staging.

11. Cyprus (6/10) Not as good as the music video, sadly, but still catchy and fun. I didn’t really like it the first time I heard it, but it’s grown on me since. I felt bad for her being put on the spot with that one “are you mad about Cyprus losing last year” question.

10. Greece (6/10) Definitely grew on me. I tuned out of it the first time I heard it. Prior to the semi finals I thought it was alright. But she really gave us the lesbian dream, huh? Ladies with neat clothes and swords, plus a garden? What more can you ask for lmao

9. France (7/10) Feels kinda standard to me, but not in the worst way possible. Sometimes I get really into it, other times it’s just a nice song. I’ve been liking it a little bit more each time I hear it, though.

8. Netherlands (7/10) The favorite to win, and I’d be okay if it did. Not my favorite this year, but a solidly good song. I have to be in the right mood to want to listen to it, but when I am? Fucking amazing. Also, considering he never left the piano (and didn’t light it on fire), he gave a pretty good performance.

7. Spain (8/10) This song is so much fun, and it’s definitely going to end the competition on a high note. I’m also really curious to see the full version to know more about the life-size dollhouse and animatronic thing they’ve got going

6. Switzerland (8/10) I loved the music video more than the live performance, but regardless I thought this song was also really fun and, idk, snazzy? Love dancing to it while I fold laundry.

5. Australia (9/10) Australia’s staging was everything! I had them in the upper middle rankings until the semi-final, but honestly that looked cool as all fuck!! Her song is weird, but in a way that I can dig. Plus seeing her soar around like Glinda in space with two fellow witches is one of the highlights of Eurovision this year

4. Russia (10/10) Sergey is back and just like in 2016, I absolutely love him and his performance. I’ll admit, the shower thing was a bit weird, but the song sounded great live! Plus, he had a leg-up for me by going with fairy tale imagery in the music video.

3. Norway (10/10) Initially, I only liked the joiking. The other two singers have grown on me, though. This song is fun, the staging is cool, the singers are great, and then it gets quiet and the joik part comes in, and it’s so fucking cool!! Love it, love it, love it!

2. Italy (10/10) My favorite for a long time, only bumped out because I made the fortuitous mistake of watching Iceland’s interviews. I love the song. I love the message. The thing that impressed me most, though, was that this song is about something that isn’t even remotely close to anything that’s happened in my life. I do not relate to it at all. But despite having no personal connection to the topic, I could feel the emotion in it. For a brief three minutes, I could feel something that isn’t my reality but is the reality of many other people. And an artist who can do that is powerful indeed.

1. Iceland (10/10) If you couldn’t tell from the everything about my blog, I have firmly joined the camp of Hatari stans. It may surprise you, but I didn’t really like this song the first time I heard it. Then, I found out the meaning behind it and gave it another chance. Lo and behold, I liked it! It rose in my rankings from lower-middle to the number one spot between listening to it multiple times and watching all the Hatari content I could get my hands on. I totally understand the music being too far for some people, but as a metalhead during the not-Eurovision parts of the year, Hatari isn’t too far of a leap for me. I love the song. I love the staging. I love the costumes. I love the message. I love the band. I love how they interact with each other and everyone else. I love the bits on Iceland Music News. I love their trolling and sarcasm in the interviews. I love the anti-capitalism. I love their websites (seriously, check them out. they put a lot of effort into them). I love the way they approach issues that are important to them. I love the fact that they aren’t afraid of the tough subjects. I especially love that they aren’t trying to walk the popularity line (you see it all the time - for example, queerbaiting, where a tv show wants to appeal to all sides of an issue, so they make characters nearly lgbtqia+ but then throw in enough straightness to please conservatives). Hatari picks their side in each issue instead of trying to cater to everyone, and I respect that a lot. My reactions and emotions aren’t usually prominent or even necessarily visible, but there’s a chance I might actually cheer if they win.

Finally, the honorable mentions, aka countries that didn’t make it to the final but that I would’ve loved to see:

Hungary (in my original top 10) - loved him last time, loved him this time. Beautiful song, beautiful voice, beautiful staging

Georgia - my hopes weren’t high but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love it. There’s nothing quite like a good dramatic song, and this was as dramatic as they come

Portugal/Poland - the two most people were really miffed about in the first semi-final; I think they’d’ve been alright in the semi-final, but both depend entirely on my mood. sometimes I love, sometimes I hate

Croatia - the song was ‘meh’, the singer was fantastic, and the staging was Eurovision in all the right ways

Armenia - one of my early favorites. could’ve used some other people on stage, but otherwise I thought she did wonderfully

Romania - what can I say that hasn’t been said already? she brought everything! that was an experience and an amazing one at that. so disappointed she didn’t make it

and of course,

Ukraine - catchy, badass, wacky, and wlw? sign me the fuck up. So sad to hear what happened to her. I know people are saying this is why politics should be kept out of music, but that’s ridiculous. The real issue is when the issue/message isn’t coming from the artist. It should always be up to the artist’s discretion what they do or do not promote. Propaganda and censorship go hand in hand, which is why I am so bothered by the blanket statements I hear thrown around about Ukraine’s fiasco this year

And that’s all! I think I’ll be happy with anyone scoring a 7 or higher for me winning on Saturday. I wouldn’t be upset about a 6 winning either, I suppose.

Anyways, off to bed so I can make my snacks tomorrow lmao!

[johnbly]

For the ask game thingy, I couldn’t decide between Harry Potter and X-Men?? 👀 .. and I’m wondering if this was posted way earlier in the day or night and I never refreshed the dashboard. *hides*

haha nope i just posted it within the hour so you’re good. i know what you mean tho whenever i get too deep in my dash i’m like. was this posted recently or a century ago? 

what_are_birds_we_just_don’t_know.gif

anyways. i’m putting this under a read more bc it’s a long ask game to begin with and you gave me two for the price of one B) and ones that made me think too

hp:

the first character i ever fell in love with: i first read the books when i was in second grade which was. 2005ish. so i honestly don’t remember my first impressions but i’m going to guess maybe hermione bc we are somewhat alike but i wouldn’t swear to that

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: can’t think of anyone

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: i guess initially i liked harry/hermione more than ron/hermione but now i’ve backed off of that in a romantic sense

my ultimate favorite character™: tbh my relationship with hp is strange like i love the world and characters and fandom but i don’t really have Strong Feelings about characters? i always say hermione’s my favorite tho

prettiest character: tbh cedric or fleur? man why does goblet of fire have all the good ones. i mean cos!tom riddle. looks good. but i wouldn’t say pretty

my most hated character: umbridge is the wooorst

my OTP: ron/hermione? 

my NOTP: there are some. interesting ships that i’ve seen out there. i’m not sure how many of them are serious but i’d say 

favorite episode book: prob goblet of fire bc the tasks are fun

saddest death: honestly……i would say dobby or hedwig, but cedric’s death has hit me harder every time i read it or watch it so. 

favorite season movie: chamber of secrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

least favorite season movie: order of the phoenix. how do you turn longest book into second shortest movie

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: the only characters that i strongly dislike are umbridge and voldemort and lockhart annoys me but i don’t think anyone loves them so idk

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: i don’t think anyone fits this .-.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: everyone who died tbh. i’m thinking specifically of lupin rn i think bc like. wow. having to deal with being a werewolf for most of his life and then dying before meeting his son :)))

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: n/a

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: lupin/tonks maybe. there’s that one gifset on here of them in dh1 and the tags made me !!!

x-men:

the first character i ever fell in love with: i’m p sure it was erik

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: i don’t think i’ve disowned anyone

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: -shrug emoji-

my ultimate favorite character™: erik

prettiest character: tbh probably charles but only in xmfc

my most hated character: i would throw shaw off a cliff without hesitation

my OTP: scott/jean i guess? they were good in the original trilogy except for. you know. murder.

my NOTP: can’t think of any

favorite episode: n/a (but if we’re going favorite piece of content, xmfc. altho house of m was an interesting comic)

saddest death: i mean. erik’s mom dying was sad. also his kid in apocalypse but i don’t think about that movie

favorite season: see favorite episode above

least favorite season: xma was bad. i think. i remember almost nothing of it but i remember being mad about erik’s character. honestly the only movie i Actively Remember is xmfc. like the original trilogy wasn’t exciting but i don’t think it was stamping all over characterization and also by that point erik was Older and different whereas in xmdofp and xma the writers are just like [wiggly hands]

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: i wouldn’t say that i hate him but i’m not a wolverine fan

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: erik has a tendency to be trash

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: uhhh i mean erik deserves better both in canon and how people write him. but i guess if we’re being technical about cinnamon rolls then xmfc charles did not have a good time

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: n/a

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: uhhh from what i remember from the comics, kitty and  colossus was cute? but stalking their wiki says it didn’t last long

[breakfast-at-anteiku]

TG:re 123 - Alas Poor Yoriko (aka Lend Yoriko a Hand 2k17)

x I couldn’t decide what title I wanted

x Why did I make live reaction posts a thing now? No one asked me to make this a thing. But it is now a thing.

x @ the blurb: No, Ishida, you don’t get to do that. How dare you. sobs

[Warning: TG:re 123 spoilers, long post, picture heavy content]

x W-w-would it be too much if I called out into the fandom and ask someone to draw Yoriko in this dress/any wedding dress? Just to soften the blow of this chap idk

x The use of “Watashi” vs “Ore”. Mutsuki tends to switch between the feminine/formal versus the masculine/informal “I” in this chapter. It makes me wonder if 1) yandere!Mutsuki = female!Mutsuki, and more importantly 2) Mutsuki is having a more severe dissociation of personality than Kaneki did.

x It makes me wonder if weak-willed but more stable m!Mutsuki and strong-willed batshit crazy f!Mutsuki will ever merge into one core personality. Or if, indeed, there is a third Mutsuki in there - the real one, an actual core personality who’s not defending against the trauma of their father’s abuse nor masquerading as a stable person.

x (Also, I am not looking forward to the gender discourse after that switch in lexicon. While interesting and engaging at times, it kind of turns into fanwankery. But I digress.)

x Aaaand I believe Mucchanko’s kill switch has been flipped.

x Wait, I assumed all this time they didn’t live together with Mutsuki anymore. But if that’s the case, did no one do anything about the extreme downward spiral Mutsuki had in the last few weeks? I mean, Saiko at least was aware of it.

x Also, I know this is nitpicking, but did Mutsuki not have a reaction to Urie’s own nadir? I mean, I know they’re obsessed with “Sensei” right now, but still.

x Urie, meet Mucchan’s wall of crazy.

x Has. Literally. No one. In. That. House. Noticed. Mutsuki’s. Trainwreck.

x Okay, I looked at two translations here, but I don’t know which is more accurate. (I don’t know what the original Japanese said.) Because this implies 2 very different things. The first one (MS) implies that the Mutsuki the CCG member feels betrayed as a comrade, but the second (JB) implies that Mutsuki the woman feels betrayed.

x Because on the second, Mutsuki switched back to the feminine “I” again, meaning they’re speaking as a woman. In that context, the subtext of this statement is, “As a woman, did I mean anything to you?” and that says a lot.

x I’m not sure if anyone still doubts Mutsuki = yandere, but I’ll just leave this here.

x Again a difference in translation (MS vs JB) that implies two different things.

x Take the second translation. It has somewhat suggestive (?) language there by Mutsuki. “Come back to me” implies she’s always thought of “sensei” as her own. Not as the Qs’ leader (”me” not “us”, she says) but as her “person”, so to speak. Someone whose existence revolved around her, just because Haise showed her even that little bit of kindness she’s always been craving.

x No way. Is that the Fueguchi spine quinque???? Am I wrong? I’ve got to be wrong. Why is Mutsuki using it????

x Aura, my sweet summer child. You do realize that 1) Your aunt is alive - bedridden, yes, but alive and looking better than most; and 2) You’re challenging the guy who (nearly) beat Arima???

x I honestly don’t know if I approve of using Aura as Mutsuki’s sidekick, narrative-wise. His motivations are way too weak as it is. There’s no dramatic tension with him fighting Kaneki. He could be replaced as a random red shirt and I wouldn’t know the difference. (Tbh I kept forgetting his name, I had to google it.) But I guess it’s to give Kaneki a challenge against a 2nd Gen Q. Idk.

x Touka, my queen YAAAAS so glorious, so beautiful I am unnnffff

x “Die you thief. Catcatcatcat” would I think be better translated as “thieving cat” (dorobo neko) - a Japanese metaphor for a man’s sidechick. Basically, Mutsuki is portraying herself as the main squeeze and Touka the mistress. Totally lost in translation I guess.

x TOUKA THOUGH.

x HERE IT COMES.

x OKAY BUT JUST WHY. WHY YORIKO. WHY.

x I mean, it came out of nowhere but also it makes a lot of sense?? Like I thought Ishida was only using Yoriko as a way for Mutsuki to put two and two together, not as freaking mangled bait against Touka.

x The thing is, chopping of her freaking ring hand is the cruelest possible way Ishida could bring her in the story.

x Firstly, it’s her ring hand = the symbol of commitment between her and Takeomi. Their wedding the one bright spot in the CCG right now, and now it’s been tainted horribly.

x Secondly, she works with her hands, gundammit. She’s a passionate chef/baker, and Mutsuki took that away so very, very violently. I mean, I’m not sure if I want Yoriko alive if it’s going to make her extremely miserable to live anyway.

x I do think that she’s alive though - Ishida doesn’t just kill his characters. He usually does lets them live to torture further. So yeah, I’m not too reassured.

x But there are a couple of good things I can see out of this: 1) If she is alive, she could reconnect with Touka, and 2) getting through a crisis like this would give her and Takeomi better development. I lowkey ship them so I’m hoping they get out of this intact (if not in one piece, clearly.)

...

x PS Why did I start reading 2 translations? MS kind of takes liberties with translations sometimes - take their hesitation to use honorifics for example - but they do have a clearer way of presenting over JB but what they sacrifice is little language nuances that JB is better at showing.