#so her makeup irl is quite different

[spookberry]

Gyaru Clawdeen based on her creepover doll, for funsies

[kozachenko]

I swear to god, Zanmu has just been on my mind recently, she's taking over my fucking brain please send help

Artist's Note:

Why is it that everytime I do a drawing of Zanmu I always make the canvas size fucking huge and it ends up being a living nightmare to fucking export. I swear to god I had to go from 1200 DPI to 600 to 350.

Exporting hell aside, I loved working on this piece. With Zanmu's design, I wanted to combine all the design details that I love and have seen in other people's drawings of Zanmu and give them my own personal touches. First of all, her sleeves were inspired by @amemenojaku's design for Zanmu, and I absolutley love that detail because not only does it make her feel more regal, it also can be a callback to Satori and old hell, and also gives me the idea that Satori's fashion sense was inspired by Zanmu because IRL a lot of historical fashion was inspired by what the nobles were wearing at the time, and since Satori was around since when Old Hell used to be Hell, she probably took some wardrobe inspo from her (or it could be my headcanon that Satori could've been Zanmu's royal advisor or she was in her court or something but that theory is kinda grasping at strings from other headcanons I have, but that's for a different post). Also, the eye makeup she has was inspired by @jothelion's drawings of Zanmu, and like, I fucking love that detail because it just adds so much like omg I just love it sm.

And now for the design details I put in. I gave Zanmu tassel earrings because I think they'd look great on her. I also really like to exaggerate her hair and really try to make it look wild, as well as having little grey hairs here and there. I also try to add some wrinkles to the corners of her eyes, but TBH I don't know how visible that detail is, since the image is pretty fucking big. I also really exaggerated the tassles/strings on her outfit, since I really wanted to play around with the potential flow they could have. Also, big fan of giving Zanmu longer sleeves and pants. IDK why but I just like how it flows better. Also big fan of making her taller, idk why a lot of fanart makes her short. Also, I placed her horns closer to the front of her head as I just think placing horns in that position looks cool.

Also, if you're wondering about the halo, I took some inspiration from a few of Caravaggio's paintings where he often depicts saints with this very thin halo around the top of their heads. I just liked that detail a lot so I thought I'd include it.

Fun fact, I was originally gonna make the four skeletons Chiyari, Biten, Enoko, and Hisami but I didn't like the prospect of having to draw four more characters, so I chose to replace them with skeletons (if you wanna get silly with it, Zanmu got Hisami to kidnap Aya, set up some skeletons with bones from her bone collection and told her to take a picture of her).

I kinda gave up on Zanmu's feet and the one skeleton's hands (as if drawing hands normally is hard enough but NOPE, HAD TO MAKE IT LIVING HELL FOR MYSELF BY MAKING IT A SKELETON) and the quality of the image may suffer because of how much I had to fucking compress it (Zanmu's presence alone was enough to make the computer lose all of it's desire and motivation to export the drawing of her lmao), but I have been hacking at this piece for a while now, plus I need to learn when to call it quits when it comes to drawings). Also as I was fixing up the hands there was one spot where I forgot to clean up with the sketch and I can't fucking unsee that now and it's going to fucking bother me until I fix it but fixing it requires going back and putting my computer through hell so yeah.

So yeah, that's about all I have to say with this drawing, it was fun but also a nightmare lol

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 18: Hole in None

Summary: During your bridal shower, Steve takes Javi golfing. When they return, the way Javi is acting has you questioning everything you knew about your relationship.

Word Count: 12.1K (getting back to my roots of a short chapter LMAO)

Warnings: SMUT(18+) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), oral (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint?), makeup sex and getting caught (The Murphy's will never catch a break) ANGST (I'm so sorry!!), Hurt/comfort, Javi being super insecure, you being confused as hell, Steve being an absolute idiot

A/N: HELLO. IT'S ME! I DO EXSIST! I am genuinely SO sorry that this chapter has taken a million years to happen. December has been so busy and I have had no time to write, so I really, really appreciate all of your patience 🥺 This is a lil different than any other chapter we've had so far in the NTL universe, it's a lil angsty-er than normal but ya girl only believes in happy endings so don't fret!!! Also poorly beta'd bc I have the stomach flu and I am 100% there are mistakes in this chapter that I'm sure I missed 🫠

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“Do I really have to do this? This thing hasn’t even started yet and I’m already exhausted.” 

“Yes, Hermosa, I do think that most people do expect the bride to be at her own bridal shower.” Javi laughed, staring into the bathroom mirror as he ran his hands through the dark curls of his hair, fixing them into place as you stood next to him, finishing the rest of your longer than usual makeup routine to prepare for being the center of attention against your will for the next several hours. 

It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful that your co-workers wanted to throw you a bridal shower before your wedding, now only a few weeks away- the sentiment of the whole thing was incredibly thoughtful. Your 3rd grade teammates had even found a way to get in touch with your family to make sure that your mom, aunts and cousins felt included in the event, too. You should have been thrilled about the fact that the people who loved you most in the world were coming together to celebrate your upcoming wedding and quite literally showering you with gifts, but if there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was the social exhaustion that came from having a party planned for no one but you. 

You had really tried to convince Maria, Estelle, Linda, and now, your mom that you didn’t need a bridal shower- your wedding was going to be small, and since you had already been living on your own, there weren’t a lot of things you needed as you started married life together. Unfortunately, neither of those arguments were going to stop those ladies from going all out for you, leaving you feeling like your bridal shower was turning out to be even bigger than your actual wedding. 

“Don’t you think I could just get a cardboard cutout of myself and use that instead? All these ladies love to talk so much that I don’t think they would even know the difference.” You sighed, giving yourself a once over in the mirror before putting away the rest of your makeup as Javi snuck behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a soft kiss into your shoulder as he pressed his chest against your back. 

“I have a feeling that someone would notice.” Javi chuckled, a soft grin spreading across his face as your eyes met in the mirror, his smile and sweet eyes enough to calm your nerves for at least a moment. “I would definitely notice.” 

“Well that’s easy for you to say, you don’t even have to be there.” You huffed, letting a little pout fall from your lips as Javi playfully shook you in his grasp, trying your best not to smile as you tried to keep up your unenthused facade. “It’s not too late to trade. You can go to the bridal shower and I can go golfing with you and Steve.” 

Even though Javi had insisted he was more than happy to stay at the shower with you, Maria had insisted that Javi find another way to spend his time so the spotlight of the day could be on you, and not him being distractingly handsome to everyone else there. Lucky for Javi, that meant extra time to spend with Steve while Connie was at your shower- not so lucky for you that Maria had banished your future husband from attending an event for your own wedding. 

“I honestly may have to take you up on that. Steve must have needed an ego boost when I let him pick what he wanted to do while you and Connie were at the shower because he knows I can’t golf for shit.” Javi’s overdramatic sigh and roll of his eyes was enough to make you break into a little giggle, turning your head enough to press a quick kiss onto his cheek before reaching your hand under his chin, giving his jaw a little jiggle. “It’ll go by fast, Osita, I promise. And then, when we get home,” he paused, pressing another kiss into your shoulder and up towards your neck, digging his fingers a little tighter into your sides as he rasped into your ear, “I’ll take as much time as you want to destress you.” 

“As much time as I want? Bold of you to assume that the dog is gonna give us that long.” You snickered as a happy Bear trotted into your bathroom right on cue, his tail loudly thumping against the bathroom cabinets from his happy wags as he wedged himself between you and Javi. 

The newest furry member of your household had been a well loved addition, but if there was one thing Bear had no concept of, it was privacy. Your dog had become a constant shadow to you and Javi anywhere and everywhere in your house, including your in your bedroom, even when you were, well, not sleeping. It hadn’t helped that Javi had already formed such a soft spot for Bear, and had let him on your bed from the moment he stepped foot into the apartment, and now, your dog and his clingy personality had become a new obstacle to try and navigate in your sex life. 

“Someone needs to tell his dad that he’ll survive if he gets left out of the bedroom for a half hour, huh? That he’s adorable, but that he can be a little cockblock, can’t he?” Squatting down next to Bear, you wrapped your hands around his face, scratching behind his ears as you mockingly serenaded him, raising an eyebrow at Javi. 

“He just sounds so sad when he whines and he’s trapped outside the door.” Javi grumbled, kneeling down to join you, patting Bear’s stomach, now much thicker and fuller than it was a few weeks ago after you had first brought him home, skinny and neglected from his lack of care from his previous owners. 

“You say trapped like we're kicking him out to the streets when we close the door on him. He’s adorable and sweet, but he’s a dog, Jav, he’ll be okay.” You smirked, playfully scolding Javi as you peppered Bear’s head with kisses, making his tail thump even harder as it wagged back and forth. “Tell your dad you’ll be just fine, won’t you?” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Javi groaned, knowing damn well you were right, even though he couldn’t bring himself to admit he had become an absolute softie for your new dog. “Alright, Hermosa, we gotta get you to this shower before Maria yells at me for making you late.” Pushing his hands against his knees, Javi let out a little grunt as he pushed himself back up to stand, checking the time on the silver watch wrapped around his wrist. 

“Wow, so eager to get rid of me, you must really be excited to go get your ass kicked in golf.” You teased, now following suit and straightening out your dress as you stood, throwing your arms around Javi’s neck, pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a little kiss on his lips. “Sure you don’t want me to golf for you?” 

“I’m sure, you dork.” 

After Javi had insisted on giving Bear more than his fair share of treats before the two of you left for the day, you were on the road to Maria’s, Javi insisting that he drop you off, instead of letting you take the treacherous 2 minute drive by yourself. As you drove down Maria’s street, you couldn’t help but smile at the memory of walking up to her house for an end of the school year party almost exactly a year ago. A party that had ultimately turned a handsome stranger from the Laredo Sheriff's department into your future husband, now sitting in the driver’s seat on the way to your bridal shower. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at the irony, leaning your head over onto Javi’s broad shoulder as you pulled up to Maria’s house. 

“What’s up, Osita?” Javi asked, a twinge of confusion in his voice at the content and calm of your demeanor as the two of you arrived at the event that you had been seemingly dreading for days. 

“I just- It was probably a year ago to the day the last time that we were at Maria’s house. Crazy to think that a year later we’re getting married and here for my bridal shower. I don’t know, a year ago I never would have thought I would have met someone I love so much, let alone be getting married, building a house, owning a dog, I- I’m just really happy that the department made you come to do that stupid presentation. You’ve made this year the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Jav.” 

A tender silence hung in the air as Javi leaned over the center console, gently bringing his palm to cup the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles along your cheek, letting his sweet brown eyes lock with yours as a soft smile spread across his face. “I love you too, Osita.” His words barely left his mouth above a whisper, bringing his lips to yours. The two of you could have stayed like this forever, lost in the moment of your love for each other, but unfortunately, the world had other plans. 

“JAVIER. DIOS MIO. CAN YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER FOR 3 SECONDS?” Maria shouted, banging at the driver’s side window, the aggressive thumps of her hand against the glass making the two of you practically jump out of your skin. 

“Jesus Fucking Christ….” Javi whispered, clutching his hand over his chest, trying to steady his heart rate back to normal, the two of you looking at each other in pure terror. 

“If you’re going to drop her off and make a scene in my driveway, the least you can do is help an old woman out before you leave, Javier!” Maria demanded, still rapping her knuckles against the glass, the two of you trying to keep from dying of embarrassment as you exited out of the car. 

“Sorry Maria…” The two of you grimaced, still trying to avoid direct eye contact with her before she decided to scold you more. 

“Chucho is right, you two are no worse than a pair of teenagers. Come on, we only have an hour before everyone arrives and I need you and that wildly blonde haired boy to help me move chairs.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Maria was already halfway up the driveway and into the house as you and Javi trailed behind her, glancing at each other in confusion as to who she was referring to, until you noticed the Murphy’s car parked on the side of the street, realizing that Steve and Connie must have beaten you there. 

Before you even had a chance to make it a foot into the house, you were greeted by an overbearing swarm of people rushing to say hello and give you a hug, already feeling overwhelmed 30 seconds into the start of your shower, and these were all people you knew. Your mom was the first to make her way through the crowd, squeezing you in a death grip hug, even though you had just seen her last night after picking her up from the airport and dropping her off at her hotel. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the day is almost here! My baby girl is finally getting married! Ugh, you look beautiful sweetheart!” Your mom beamed, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek before making her way over to Javi, squeezing him just as hard. “C’mere, don’t think that you get to escape hugs from me too, Javi.” Javi looked over at you, trying his best not to laugh at everyone’s dramatics, knowing how stressed you already were, and that no one’s overly excited attitude was doing you any favors. 

“Ouch on the finally there, Mom. What do you need help with?” You asked, noticing that your mom had been holding on to Javi for a touch longer than what was probably appropriate while everyone else continued to hustle and bustle around Maria’s house. 

“Does he always smell that good? God, I wished your father smelled like that, the man smells like a sweaty sock. Javi, what kind of cologne do you-” 

“Mom! Jesus Christ.” You interjected, burying your hands in your face.

“Sorry, sorry! Honey, you don’t need to help with anything, it’s your shower!” Your mom swatted her hand at you, shaking her head in disbelief that you would ask to help, even though she knew better than anyone it was not in your nature to sit back on the sidelines and let other people do the work for you. 

“Why don’t you come help me set up decorations?” A soft voice replied behind you, making you whip your head around as their hand rested on your shoulder. 

“Connie!” You grinned, throwing her arms around her, relieved to find someone who wasn’t going to drive you absolutely crazy for the next hour of party prep. “It’s so good to see you, thank you so much for coming!” 

“Hey, Sweetheart!” a lower voice grunted from behind a stack of folding chairs making its way to the backyard. 

“Wow, Maria put you to work too, Steve? Yikes, she’s running a tight ship around here.” You and Connie snickered as Steve set down his stack of chairs, revealing his already sweaty and frustrated face, considering Maria had probably made him carry 6 trips worth of seats up and down the stairs since he and Connie had arrived. 

“You’re tellin’ me. Hey, make yourself useful and pick up some of these chairs, lazy ass. Sooner we get this set up, the sooner I kick your butt at golf.” Steve smirked, gesturing over at Javi, still standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips. 

“In that case, I’m taking one chair at a time.” Javi sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple in stride towards Steve, giving him a swift hug and a pat on the back before being interrupted by a shrill and demanding voice. 

“JAVIER. I HEARD THAT. IF I DON’T SEE YOU WITH A STACK OF CHAIRS IN YOUR HANDS THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE OUTSIDE, IT’D BETTER BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.” Maria shouted from across the house, making everyone’s faces freeze in fear. 

“You heard the woman. Chop, chop, Peña.” Steve chuckled to himself before passing off half of the chairs over to Javi, and walking towards the back of the house as Javi picked up his share, begrudgingly trailing behind Steve. 

“Alright, we should probably get to work on decorations before Maria finds us standing around for too long. I know you’re the bride, but I have a feeling that holds very little value to her until everything is set up.” Connie shrugged, nodding towards the backyard where the shower was being held. 

“You’re definitely right, and I would prefer to live through my bridal shower in order to make it to my actual wedding.” 

With all of the helping hands around the house, and Maria’s commanding dictatorship over shower setup, all of you had finished with time to spare, leaving your mom and co-workers to happily chat and gossip amongst themselves as you and Connie found your way to say goodbye to Steve and Javi, one of whom was looking much more excited about departing for golf than the other. 

“Have fun, ladies. Any last words for your future husband before I absolutely obliterate him on the golf course?” Steve snickered, giving Javi a soft punch on the shoulder. 

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi groaned, rolling his eyes as he braced himself for the next 3 hours of harassment from his former partner. 

“Don’t be too hard on him, okay Steve? He gets grumpy when he loses, so just a reasonable amount of ass whooping, nothing too drastic.” You teased, now playfully punching on the other side of his arm, you, Steve, and Connie laughing to yourselves at Javi’s fed up frown. 

“Says the one who literally pouted for hours after insisting we play "Sorry" and then she lost.” Javi smugly murmured, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well someone wasn’t very sorry about it, were they… You know what, Steve? I changed my mind, go ahead and kick his ass for me.” A mischievous grin grew across your face, bursting out into giggles as Javi flung his arms around you, giving you a squeeze and shaking you in his grasp. 

“Pendejo. Alright, you need anything else before I go get my ass kicked, Hermosa?” Javi asked, pressing a kiss into your hair. You were about to speak, but stopped yourself for a moment, looking Javi up and down, admiring how handsome he looked in the khakis and navy blue polo he had picked out this morning. You’d been so worried and worked up about the day that you hadn’t really had a chance to get a good look at him until now, and God, part of you wished you hadn’t taken the time to really take it all in as he stood next to you. You knew there was nothing you could really do about it now, but that wasn’t about to stop you from at least getting a little taste. 

“Uh yeah, I uh- actually um, I uh, I scraped my finger earlier on one of the banners I was setting up and I think I got a papercut. I forgot to ask Maria about it earlier, but um, can you show me where the bandaids are upstairs again?” You tried your best to sound as casual as possible, but Javi knew just as well as you that there was no way in hell that you actually needed a bandaid. His brow scrunched in a slight confusion, head cocked to the side as if to say “I think I know where this is going and I’m not really sure it’s going to work” before giving you a little shrug, gesturing up towards the bathroom at the top of the stairwell, trying to keep his smug grin hidden between his lips. 

“Yeah, I uh- here, let me show you where they are and I can get you one before we go.” Before Steve or Connie could even muster a word in protest, Javi was already dragging you halfway up the stairs, barely letting you make it to the top of the stairway before closing the bathroom door behind you. 

“Band Aid, really? That was the best you could come up with?” Javi laughed under his breath, letting his hands roam down your sides and under the hem of your dress as his fingers dug into the meat of your ass, the heat of his breath tickling your skin where his lips met your neck, gently sucking at your pulse point, making a tiny moan escape from your mouth. 

“I needed to come up with something to get you alone for long enough to give you a proper goodbye before you left.” 

“And a Band Aid was the way to do that?” 

“Oh shut up.” You giggled, draping your arms over Javi’s neck, letting your hands roam through the curls at the nape of his neck before pulling him in tighter to let his lips crash into yours with an electric intensity, his fingertips gripping deeper into your flesh. 

“I don’t think-” Javi muttered between kisses, “I don’t think a bandaid is gonna buy us enough time to do anything, Hermosa.” 

“I know. I just needed this. Just needed to kiss your stupidly handsome face. I needed something before you left me to fend for myself. Plus,” you paused, pulling back to see the lovestruck grin spread between Javi’s cheeks, “only fair that I get a chance to recreate our first kiss.” You snickered, gesturing to the interior of Maria’s bathroom, where you had found yourself with Javi almost a year ago to the day, your lips meeting for the first time as you sat on the ledge of the sink after Javi had came to your aid when a shattered beer bottle had landed in your leg. 

“Fuck, I forgot our first kiss was in Maria’s bathroom. Real fucking smooth of me, huh?” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes at his past self for letting your first kiss be in the bathroom of his Mom’s best friend’s house. 

“Smooth enough for me to wanna marry you, so I guess it all worked out okay, didn’t it?” You teased, planting one last kiss on his lips before shooting him a wink and slipping out the bathroom, your face warm and tingly from the rush of excitement tucked away with Javi in your impromptu makeout session. Javi ran his hand over his face, taking a moment to try and compose himself, shaking his head to himself in shock and delight at how he found himself falling more and more in love with you every day. 

“Okay, uh- sorry, sorry about that. Just didn’t wanna have to bother Maria for anything.” You sighed, darting your eyes away from Steve and Connie, their arms crossed against their chest with almost comically smug smirks on their faces as they watched you shuffle back down the stairs, Javi reluctantly trailing behind you. 

“Yeah? How’d that bandaid work out for ya?” Steve smiled with a shit eating grin, nodding to your hands, neither of them with a bandaid anywhere in sight. You let out a gulp, trying to quickly tuck your hands behind your back, your cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. “Goddamn, you two gonna make it 3 hours without touching each other, or am I gonna have to bring him back here after hole 4 for a mid-round makeout?” 

“Jesus Christ, Murph, really?.” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Bye, love you. Have fun and I’ll see you soon.” Leaned over, snaking his arm around your waist to plant one last kiss in your hair. 

“Not soon enough, apparently…” 

“Murphy…” 

“Stop makin’ out and I’ll stop givin’ you shit.” 

“Touche…” You muttered under your breath, just loud enough to make the 4 of you burst into laughter, easing the uncomfortable tension that you had brought upon yourself from your antics. “Love you too, have fun getting your ass kicked.” 

“Yes, yes, out, out, out! It’s only 10 minutes until guests arrive and your truck is taking up all the room in the driveway! Out!” Stampeding into the living room, Maria waved her hands at the boys, quite literally shooing them out of the house after overhearing your goodbyes. Giving a quick wave to Javi as Maria kicked him and Steve to the curb, you caught Javi’s head whipping around for one last glance at you before you left, giving you a once over with his eyes and a soft smile on his face as the front door shut behind him. 

Truth be told, your shower ended up being way less painful than you expected it would be. In all honesty, it was actually somewhat enjoyable. The fact that your mom, co-workers, and Connie had put into helping everyone come together to celebrate you filled your heart with so much more joy than you could have predicted- your friends and family had bought you and Javi so many more gifts than you knew what to do with, had so many kind things to say about the two of you, and Connie had even gone out of her way to make sure that there were fun games planned for everyone to keep the need for constant socialization at bay. It really had ended up being a fun afternoon, even if it meant having to answer the same questions about your wedding, house and honeymoon plans more times than you could count. 

Javi, on the other hand, could not have been having a worse time on the golf course, getting his ass thoroughly handed to him by Steve hole after hole, wondering to himself how anyone could bring themself to genuinely enjoy the torture that had been the past two and a half hours of hacking his club into chunks of grass and loosing his golf balls in the brush. The only consoling factor was that Javi was grateful to spend time with Steve, even if it meant being berated by endless questions from him on top of his painful performance while he played. 

“You feelin’ ready for the big day?” Steve grunted, after smacking his driver against his ball from the tee box, Javi relieved that the pair were finally on the 9th and final hole. 

“Yeah, I mean- Oh fuck me-” Javi grumbled, hitting his club and watching his ball fly into a patch of trees, the opposite direction of where he was trying to aim for, “I still can’t believe I’m getting married.” 

“You and me both, Jav. I never thought I’d live to see the fuckin’ day, that’s for damn sure. Javier Peña, a married man.” Steve chuckled, slipping his club into his golf bag as Javi followed behind, grabbing what must have been the 57th golf ball from his bag this round. 

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at his friends’ jab, the two of them hopping into the golf cart together to try and scavenge for Javi’s long lost ball. 

“I’m just given’ you shit, Jav. I’m fuckin’ happy for you man. Really happy. She’s a great girl. Best thing that’s ever happened to your sorry ass, I’ll tell you that much. Guess you don’t have to worry about really followin’ through this time?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re actually gonna get married this time? You’re not leavin’ her at the altar like Lorraine, huh?” As Steve laughed to himself, Javi could practically feel his stomach drop, his heart beginning to race as a wave of terrible guilt and panic washed over him at his friend’s ironic question. 

To his own shock and surprise, Javi hadn’t thought about his last lack of a wedding once since the two of you had gotten engaged. He had been so head over heels excited to spend the rest of his life with you, that the failures of his past engagement had been tucked far away in the back of his mind. But then again, no one had been so gracious as to bring up the knife to the chest that was leaving Lorraine at the altar, and no one had been so gracious as to bring it up in classic Steve Murphy fashion. 

Javi could audibly hear himself gulp, his heartbeat pounding so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears as the terrible reality of the past he had so glady forgotten about met him in a head on collision, instantly re-opening all of the cuts and wounds he had finally managed to sew together. 

The last time he almost got married, Javier Peña had astronomically fucked up the lives of every last person who cared about him, leaving nothing but chaos and heartbreak in his wake.   

Rationally, Javi could tell himself that his upcoming wedding was the polar opposite of everything that was once planned between him and Lorraine. Javi couldn’t have cared less about Lorraine. From the moment he had wearily accepted his fate, he had dreaded every moment of his future from that point on. But you were not Lorraine. 

Javi loved you. 

Javi cared about you. 

Javi wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you and give you everything in the world you could possibly want. 

But, one mention of that 8 letter name had Javi’s brain flooding with every single doubt, regret, and painful memory of his past that he had fought so hard to forget. It had his mind reeling with every uncomfortable feeling of remembering the man he had been before you had come into his life and changed him for the better. He knew he was a better man. A stronger man. A man who was worthy of the love and compassion you had shown him from the moment you two had met. 

Or was he? 

“Earth to Javi? Hello? Anyone home?” Waving his hand in front of Javi’s face, Steve stared at Javi in confusion as to why it seemed like his friend had suddenly become lost in his own world as they pulled up to the patch of trees where his ball had most likely landed. 

“Uh yeah, uh- what, sorry, um, what did you say?” Javi asked, visibly trying to shake the thoughts from his head, painfully scrunching his face and running his hand through his hair before looking back over at Steve. 

“I asked if you were gonna go get the ball or if you just wanted to add to your +200 score and drop one here instead. Hey, you okay, man?” Steve questioned, pausing for a moment before asking the later half of his statement, seeing the color flushed from Javi’s face. 

“Uh, yeah- Yeah, sorry, I just, I’m good. I’ll um, I’ll just drop a ball.” Javi muttered half to himself as he stepped out of the cart, barely paying attention enough to even remember what in the world he was even looking for in his golf bag. 

If Javi wasn’t already thankful to be on the last hole before Steve’s comment, he sure as hell was now, mindlessly whacking his golf club with no regard as to how his ball made it to the green. Any thoughts about golf, let alone any previous attempts to even try to play well had now flown out the window, creeping thoughts of self doubt and resentment crawling through Javi’s mind. The rest of the round and the entire car ride back to Maria’s were spent in an internal battle ranging in Javi’s brain, the fight between the man he used to be and the man he’d thought he’d become rearing its ugly head with a painful intensity that absolutely felt like it was consuming him whole.  

Steve, who was just as oblivious to his friend’s distraught state as he was to the idiocracy of his sarcastic question, had chalked Javi’s quiet and somber mood up to being an overly sore loser after getting mercilessly crushed at golf. Little did he know that his one silly comment had sent Javi spiraling down a trail of crushing self-doubt. 

As the pair pulled into the driveway and made their way to the backyard where a few straggling party goers still lingered, trying to monopolize their time with you to get the details of your upcoming plans for the future. Being the attentive and patient person that you were, you were trying your hardest to seem enthused and engaged with in the conversation with who you thought was Javi’s Aunt’s Cousin (at this point, you had been introduced to so many new people, you were questioning your own name), but it wasn’t long before your future husband’s big, broad body entering the backyard had you more than distracted, your face instantly lighting up at the sight of him. Peeking over his Aunt’s cousin (or cousin’s aunt, you weren’t really sure) shoulder, you bit down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, letting a little wave shake from your hand in his direction. 

Javi wished that your sweet smile and beautiful self were enough to snap him out of his funk, to see how you beamed in excitement just at the sight of him and shot him that lovestruck look he’d never get sick of- but for some twisted reason, it only made him feel worse. 

You were everything- kind, smart, funny, the most breathtaking woman he’d ever seen. But what was he? Tired? Broken? A shitty guy who had done even shitter things, who had left nothing but destruction in his path for years and years, with no regard for who it hurt, or even worse, left for dead? How was he supposed to give you everything you deserved when he sure as fuck didn’t deserve you? 

Before you had even said a word to him, you could already sense something was off about Javi’s demeanor that was due to more than just losing to Steve in golf. Even from across the backyard, his forced smile and tired brown eyes had a worried pit swirling in the bottom of your stomach, politely excusing yourself from your conversation to make your way over to Javi. 

“Hi! You guys have fun at golf? Steve didn’t kick your ass too bad?” You grinned, wrapping your arms around Javi’s waist, pressing up on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips, his mouth barely ghosting over yours in return. 

“Yeah, it was um- yeah, it was fine.” Javi nodded, trying to make a smile appear between his pursed lips. “How was the shower? You uh, you ready for Steve and I to start putting things in the truck to bring over to the new house?” 

You immediately frowned in response, cocking your head in confusion at him. “Yeah, it was great, but hey, are- are you okay? You seem really off, like more than just Steve kicking your ass at golf off. Did something happen?” 

“No, I’m- yeah, I’m good, Hermosa.” Javi’s eyes darted towards the ground, trying his best to stifle his sigh before another fake smile spread across his face, his response making you even more concerned than you were before, seeing he was clearly lying to you. As much as you wanted to problem solve right then and there to figure out what had Javi so distressed, the calls of one of the last groups of party goers wanting to say their goodbyes rang across the backyard, you flashing them a quick smile and a wave to signal you’d be over in a second. Before you could try and get anything else out of Javi, he had already backed himself away from your hands still tangled around his waist, nodding towards the group of women who were not so patiently waiting for you. “Go say goodbye, I’ll start loading stuff up.” 

“Um, I- uh, yeah, o-okay. Thanks.” You murmured, half to yourself, as Javi had already begun to walk away to find Steve to help him start carrying things out to the car, leaving you more anxious and confused with every passing second. 

With goodbyes finished, and decor and party setup cleaned up just as fast as Maria had demanded it to be put up, you and Javi made your way to your now packed car, followed by Connie and Steve, who had asked to see the progress on your new house while they were in town. You figured you’d kill two birds with one stone, inviting them over and having them help to unload gifts in the same trip, but now, given the strangely somber mood that Javi couldn’t seem to shake, you really wished it was just the two of you so you could figure out what the hell was going on. 

You and Javi piled into his truck, Steve and Connie hopping into theirs and following you down Maria’s street towards your new house. A stark silence filled the car, praying to yourself that maybe Javi just wanted to be alone before he said anything about his current state, but 5 minutes down the road without a single word falling from his lips, you had a devastating feeling that wasn’t going to be the case. 

Your leg bounced against the seat, fingers nervously drumming in your lap, letting out a quiet sigh to yourself before looking over at Javi and mustering up the courage to try and interrogate. 

“Sooooo, golf was fun? I love ya, but I think it’s probably safe to assume Steve won?” You quietly snickered, trying your best to stay nonchalant. 

“Yeah, it was good, Steve won, but that’s no surprise because I suck at golf.” Javi mumbled to himself, barely glancing your direction from behind the yellow tinted aviators perched on the bridge of his nose. Normally, if either of you had something that self-deprecating to say, it was at least followed by some sort of a joke or laugh, but his comment ended with nothing but a stoic silence as his hands gripped tighter around the steering wheel. 

“Hey, babe, it’s okay, you don’t ever golf, so it’s hard to expect yourself to be good at something you rarely ever do.” You reached over to grab his arm to reassure him, that unsettling and anxious pit beginning to grow in your stomach again with the way Javi was acting. All he could muster was a half hearted huff in response, signaling to you that whatever was happening was much bigger than a poor game of golf. 

“Javi… Baby, what’s going on? Did something happen with Steve?” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“It’s clearly not nothing, Jav. Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, I told you, it’s fine.” 

“Javi, it obviously isn’t fine if this is the way you’re acting about it. Why won’t you talk to me about it? I just wanna-” 

“I told you, it’s fine, okay!? Jesus, I don’t need you to solve all my problems.”

Oh.  

You and Javi had been in arguments before, hell, you’d been in fights before, but never once in the time that you’d known him, had Javi snapped at you like this. You could practically feel yourself recoiling in your seat from the harsh tone of his voice, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes. You could feel your heart in your throat, choking down a heavy gulp as your lip quivered to try and keep from crying. 

What had gone so wrong that Javi was acting like this? 

You wish you had it in you to dig it out of him, but as you pulled up the driveway of your new home, Steve and Connie right behind you, ready for a tour, the best you could muster was a quiet, “O-okay.” As soon as the car was in park, Javi was unbuckling his seatbelt and slamming the door behind him, leaving you behind in the car, trying everything in your power to not become a startled, sobbing mess. 

Wiping away the wetness pooling behind your eyelids, you swiped the back of your hand against your cheeks, taking a few deep breaths before following behind, mustering up as much courage as you could to keep your cool for however long Steve and Connie were planning to stick around before heading back to San Antonio. 

You had hoped that Steve and Connie hadn't picked up on the palpable tension brewing between you and Javi, trying your best to put on a brave face as you paraded the Murphy’s through your nearly completed house. To be quite honest, you couldn’t have recalled anything that had happened in the time that they were there, your mind racing in torment as you watched Javi brood around your new home, barely saying a word to you, let alone make any eye contact, or look in your general direction. 

As the four of you made your way upstairs, your attention was finally caught by the low lull of Steve’s laughter as he situated himself between you and Javi, grabbing you both by the shoulders and shaking you in his grasp. 

“Well I’ll be damned. Y’all got enough rooms up here to house half a baseball team! You want that many kids driving ya nuts, huh?” Steve chuckled, making his way down the hallway, peeking into the empty bedrooms of your 2nd story. 

“Steve!” Connie scolded, slapping the back of her hand against Steve’s stomach for his comment. 

“What?! I’m just sayin’! I thought y’all would want like, 2, but there’s enough room for way more than that. I mean, I guess you two are fuckin’ goin’ at it like rabbits all the time, so I can’t really be shocked.” 

“Steven Edward Murphy! Jesus Christ!” Connie snapped, shooting Steve a dangerous glare, aggressively raising an eyebrow at her husband as she gestured towards you and Javi. 

“No, it’s okay, we don’t know for sure how many we want, but we figured if we had the space we’d add the rooms and even if they’re not bedrooms, they’ll still get used.” You had it in you enough to force a half smile across your face, flashing it at Steve and Connie before looking over at Javi. 

While you hadn’t expected much of a response from him given the current situation, what you weren’t expecting was the panic stricken look painting Javi from head to toe. 

If you weren’t already worried out of your mind about what the fuck was going on with Javi, you sure as fuck were now.  

“Uh, I um- yeah.”

Those were the only words Javi was able to choke out through the audible thumps pounding in his chest as his face went ghost white, eyes peeled to the ground. 

“See, Steve? You’re making them uncomfortable! You have absolutely no filter, I swear! I’m so sorry, you guys!” Connie frantically apologized, giving Steve another hardy slap in the stomach, making him wince. 

“I’m just jokin’, Jesus Christ, sorry!” Steve grumbled, holding up his hands in defense from his wife’s accusation, sheepishly looking over at you and Javi with a little shrug. 

“No, it’s uh- no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You had given up on trying to be convincing at this point, your voice quietly shaking as you stared at Javi, now looking like a terrified, ragged shell of himself. 

What the fuck was going on? Did Javi want to wait to have kids? Did he not want to have that many? Was he having second thoughts about kids all together? Fuck, was he having second thoughts about getting married? He’s literally never acted like this before. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

You were sure at this point, you probably looked just as much of a mess as Javi did, letting your thoughts race wildly throughout your brain, the silence now lingering between the four of you now seemed to feel deafening, Connie beginning to pick up on the uneasiness festering between you and Javi and knowing she had enough common sense for her and Steve to pick up her cue to see herself out. 

“Well, still, I’m sorry. We should probably get going anyways, we told the sitter we’d be back around 6 so we should probably hit the road. Thank you so much for the tour! The shower was beautiful and I’m so glad I could be there for it. We’ll see you guys for the big day soon! Just let me know if you need any help with wedding stuff between now and then okay?” 

“Uh yeah, yeah of course. Thanks for all your help, Con. I’ll um- I’ll let you know if we need anything.” You stammered as Connie pulled you in for a hug goodbye, followed quickly by Steve, who planted a few pats on your back mid hug. 

“Bye sweetheart, thanks for letting me steal this asshole for golf today. See y’all when you’re gettin’ ready to get hitched! Adios, loser.” Steve chuckled as he pulled away from your hug to tug Javi into another, giving him an even harder pat on the back before letting Connie say her goodbyes as well. 

“Do you want me to walk you guys down to your-” 

“Nah, we’ll find our way out, no worries. Bye lovebirds, see ya soon.” Steve grinned, giving the both of you one last wave farewell before disappearing down the stairs, their hushed bickers about Steve’s unnecessary comments quietly trailing behind them. Before you could even get a word out to Javi now that the two of you were alone, he was already halfway down the stairs behind the Murphy’s, not even bothering to look back at you as he mumbled under his breath. 

“I’m gonna get the gifts out of the car and go sit outside.” 

“Jav, wait, I-” 

You could feel the lump beginning to swell in your throat, your bottom lip trembling with tears welling in your eyes as you watched Javi storm down the stairs without even so much as an attempt to care about what you had to say, leaving you with nothing but yourself and 5 empty bedrooms that now had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your future with Javi. You felt your body begin to collapse like a sad pile of jello as you melted into a sobbing puddle on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest as you cried into the flowy fabric of your dress, leaving wet stains behind from your tears. Your breaths were rapid and shaky with each muffled sob, trying to rationally grasp on to something, anything, as to why Javi was acting this way. But the more the gears frantically turned in your brain, the more irrational and terrifying your thoughts became. 

This all happened so fucking fast. It’s only been a year since I’ve known him. Is he realizing it’s too much? Am I too much? This was all too fucking good to be true, wasn’t it, you fucking idiot. 

Taking a few more minutes to collect yourself enough to at least stop full on sobbing, you wiped your wet cheeks with the back of your palm, inhaling a trembling deep breath as you mustered up every ounce of courage you could find to face whatever fate was waiting for you downstairs with Javi. 

Each step down the stairs felt heavier than the last, leaving your fingers anxiously drumming against your legs as you saw Javi’s broad body hunched over the side of the unfinished back patio, staring out to the tall grass of your backyard swaying in the warm summer breeze. If it were any other time, you would have rushed up behind him, wrapping your body around his back and attacking him with kisses until the two of you were wound up in a fit of laughter and giggles, happily tangled in each other's bodies. 

Right now, you were terrified to even step too close to him. 

Carefully and quietly sliding open the glass door to the porch, you prayed with every bone in your body you weren’t going to do anything that set Javi off enough to even let you attempt to have a conversation with him about what was going on. The new wood softly creaked under your shoes, making Javi turn his head just enough to acknowledge your presence as you wearily approached him. Taking one more deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak, but with your jaw hanging open, Javi’s words filled the stark silence before yours could. 

“I don’t know if we should get married.” 

Fuck. 

You could practically feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, like the weight of 1,000 bricks had been dropped on your body all at once, hearing that come out of his mouth. You could have mentally tried to brace yourself for a lot of things, but hearing Javi tell you he didn't want to get married anymore sure as hell wasn't one of them.

“Javi, I- baby, what- I don’t- I don’t-” 

“Why the fuck do you even wanna marry me?” 

Your brows scrunched in pain and confusion at the sharp tone of his words, desperate to try and understand what point he was trying to prove in this gut wrenching game he seemed to be playing. 

“Because I- Javi, I- Javi I love you, that’s why.” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you sat down next to him on the edge of the porch, leaning over enough to see the tears glistening down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to stifle the sobs rumbling in his chest. He shook his head back and forth before his gaze fell into his lap. 

“You shouldn’t love me.” 

“Javi… what the fuck are you talking about?” you plead, feeling the pain and hurt creeping through your body as you watched the tears he was so desperately trying to fight. With a scornful scoff, Javi shook his head, pressing against his knees to stand, taking a few paces around the porch, burying his hands in his face, his words muffled and muted by his palms covering his mouth. 

“What the fuck am I- I’m not- I’m not what you deserve. I don’t understand how you don’t fucking see that.” 

You followed suit, bringing yourself to stand with your arms crossed tightly across your chest, staring at Javi in bewilderment, biting down on your tongue so hard to keep from bursting into tears you thought you were going to make it bleed. You could feel the storm of pain, anger and confusion brewing deep in the pit of your stomach, your body numb and mind blank. 

“Javier. What the fuck is going on? I don’t understand why-” 

“Because last time I was gonna get married I fucked up everything. For everyone. I hurt everyone I cared about. I went half way around the world and I spent a decade fucking things up even more. How do you know I’m not gonna fuck everything up again? I love you too much to let it happen to you. The thought of ever hurting you even half as I much as I’ve hurt anyone else because of my choices fucking kills me. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt everyone else. I’d never fucking forgive myself. I love you more than anything, Osita. I love you more than anything in the world. You deserve someone who isn’t going to hurt you. Someone who will do right by you, by your family, your future children, I just- fuck- I don’t think that person can be me.” 

A deafening silence hung in the air as you stared blankly at Javi, tears streaming from his tormented brown eyes, his body trembling with devastation and regret. You had no doubt your body mirrored his as the guilt and heartbreak flooded you from head to toe, wondering how in the world you had ever let the man you loved and cared about more than anything feel like he wasn’t enough for you. 

You wished you could speak- to find the words to tell him that he was your everything, the glue that had put you back together when you were convinced there was nothing else that could mend the broken mess that you had become. You wished you could express to him that there was no one on the face of this earth that you would rather spend the rest of your life with than him- that there was no one else you wanted by your side through every moment of your life, the good, the bad and the ugly, more than him. You wished there was a way to tell him that you loved him more than anything, but in that moment, all you could do was grab him and wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing him as tightly as your body would let you, letting your wet face rest against the familiar warmth of his chest as you whispered into the soft fabric of his shirt. 

“Javier Peña, you’re the only person it could be.” 

You could feel his chest begin to rumble with heavy sobs as his arms draped around you, pulling you against his body so closely, it was like his life depended on it, like he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting you go again. One arm stayed wrapped around your back as the other slid up the back of your neck, his broad palm cradling your head in his grasp, his fingers practically digging into your skin to keep you close as the two of you let yourselves do nothing but hold each other in your teary silence. 

You let one of your hands reach up towards Javi’s face, cupping his jaw and forcing his gaze back on to you, as your thumb traced back and forth along his cheek, wiping away the wetness that had been welling in his eyes. 

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” You asked, waiting until you felt Javi’s head gently nod up and down in understanding in your palm before you continued, “The man you were before doesn’t scare me. If it did, I would have been gone a long time ago. The man you were before has turned you into the man that you’ve become. The man that I want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life. Every good day, every bad day, every painful, hard and shitty day, and every day in between. And I promise that I will spend every last one of those days until the day I die trying my best to convince you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I die trying, then so be it. I love you, Javi. Don’t you ever think for a second that there is anyone out there that I want to spend the rest of my life with more than you, and I won’t ever let you forget it.” 

It was only moments before both of Javi’s hands were cradling your face, gently trembling as they cupped your soft, wet skin as you locked eyes with his, watching his face shift from terrified to bewildered, thinking he must have misheard what you had just said to him. 

“Osita, I-” 

“Promise me.” 

“Promise you what?” 

“Promise me that you believe me. Promise me that you know I love you more than anything.”

There was a part of Javi’s brain that wished he could find something to prove that he couldn’t. To prove he wasn’t worthy of keeping the promise you had made to him. To convince himself that he had no reason to believe he was worthy of the love you had given him.

But the truth was, for the first time that he could remember, as he looked down at you, the woman who had taken his life and forever changed it for the better, who had helped to heal him in ways he didn’t know he needed, who had cared for him in ways he never thought he deserved, and who had stood by him even as you learned about the ugliest parts of him he never thought he’d forgive himself for, Javier Peña finally realized he had learned what it was like to be worthy of love. 

You had made him realize he was worthy of being loved. 

A small gulp slid down his throat between his shaky breaths, taking a moment to soak in everything about you, before letting his lips ghost across yours as a quiet whisper left his mouth. 

“I promise.” 

And just like that, his lips crashed into yours with a ferocious and tender passion, soaking in every ounce of the sweet flavor of you, a taste he knew he would never tire of, one that he craved like nothing else. 

“I love you, Osita. Fuck, I love you so much.” Javi moaned between your kisses, praying with every bone in his body you knew how much he meant it. 

“I love you too, Javi.” The hot breath of your words danced across his lips before they were crashing together once again, his tongue swiping between your parted mouths as he ran his hand down your back and around your waist, pulling you so close you were convinced your bodies were going to melt into one as you pressed against his broad chest, now needily grasping at fist fulls of his shirt. 

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how much you loved them. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how hopelessly he craved you, too. 

With your bodies still tangled together, your kisses became messier and sloppier as you backed your way towards the door that lead inside, stumbling and trampling over each other’s feet without any regard for where you were headed until you felt your back bump against the kitchen island, the rounded edges of the countertop stopping you in your tracks as Javi caged you between his broad figure and the island. 

Both of your hands were now feverishly roaming across each other’s bodies before Javi had run his hands down your thighs, hoisting you up to sit on the countertop, planting hot, wet kisses across your neck and collarbone while his fingers crept under the hem of your dress, his palms sliding up and down your legs, digging his fingers into your flesh. 

“Javi…” You whimpered, letting your eyes close and head fall back as he sucked at your pulse point, leaving you with one hand bracing yourself against the edge of the counter and the other with your fingers wrapped around the navy fabric of Javi’s shirt, clinging on for dear life. 

You eyes opened, and gaze shifted downwards as you felt Javi pull away from your grasp, watching him drop to his knees, slotting himself between your parted legs and kissing the inside of your thighs while his hands tugged at the waistband of your already soaked underwear, hastily shuffling them to fall down your legs and pool at your ankles. His needy kisses up your thighs crept closer and closer to your core as your legs draped over his shoulders, kneeling before you like you were the altar of everything he worshiped as his deep brown eyes looked up at yours, like he was begging for forgiveness for his sins. 

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. Fuck, I love you so much. Let me show me how much I love you. Please, baby. Please let me show you how much I need to be yours.” 

Your response was nothing but a ragged moan as you felt his hot breath hovering over your cunt before letting long, flat licks of his tongue drag through your folds, each swipe pressing firmer than the last, lapping up the arousal dripping from your entrance like a sweet nectar. With one hand still white knuckling the edge of the countertop, the other shot down to bury itself in the dark curls of Javi’s thick locks, tugging at ends to find some place to ease your tension as he began to flick and swirl his tongue relentlessly against your clit, lapping you up like a man starved. 

“Oh fuck Javi- fuck- you feel so good, baby.” You moaned, raking your fingers along Javi’s scalp as you watched his head bob nestled between your legs, feeling the low hum of satisfaction thrumming in his throat as he began to suck your sensitive bundle of nerves, latching his lips around your clit as his mouth worked feverishly against your cunt. You could already feel the tingle beginning to grow at the base of your spine and spread to your legs as Javi found every sweet spot that he knew made you lose all control, desperate to make you feel how much he needed your love and forgiveness. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let go for me baby, I’ve got you.” Javi hummed before diving back between your legs, tightening his grip around your thighs as his tongue danced around your clit relentlessly. It wasn’t long before you could feel your orgasm begin to flood your body, pleasure crashing through you as you cried out his name, a death grip clutching around the counter and Javi’s dark locks. Javi worked you through your high, drinking up the juices of your slick as you came, feeling your legs tremble as they stayed slung over his broad shoulders, not stopping until your body was shaking and your whimpers and moans had become so wrecked, he had no choice but to stop to relish in the blissed out, dripping mess he had made you. He would have loved to stay like this forever, watching you become more and more wrecked beneath his tongue, the want, no, need, to be buried inside your heat, getting lost in your wetness and warmth, savoring in the way no one else would ever be able to have you like he did, to know that you were his. 

Javi worked in a determined silence, rusting with his belt buckle until the metal clangs of it opening had his pants and boxers in a puddle around his ankles, splaying kisses across your neck as he slid you towards the edge of the counter, his fingers digging into your hips with a bruising intensity. He stroked himself a few times as he lined his cock up with your entrance, guiding his tip through the glistening arousal covering your folds, leaving his dick shiny with your slick as you whimpered into his skin. 

“Javi… Please, baby. I need you.” You whimpered, instinctively bucking your hips towards him, desperately craving him to ease the achy emptiness between your legs. 

Resting his forehead against yours, the dark, damp curls of his hair brushed your skin, the hot and heavy heat of each of your shaky breaths melting into one another’s as your lips ghosted his, only fully meeting yours to catch the moan that had escaped your mouth as he pushed himself into your heat, letting himself bottom out, his tip brushing against your cervix. You couldn’t help but wrap your legs around the small of his back and drape your arms over his shoulders, desperate to have your bodies needily tangled and intertwined together as you savored in the sweet sting and stretch of his fullness. 

He began to rock his hips, letting his cock drag in and out of your cunt, taking his time with each stroke, the movement making you dig your fingernails into the fabric of his shirt stretched over his muscular back, in turn, making the grip he had around your waist even tighter, his fingers buried in the soft flesh of your stomach where his hands had crept under your dress. 

The way he punched up into you, perfectly pounding against your g-spot with each thrust, combined with the way the hairs at his base rubbed along your clit, already had the inevitable coil beginning to tighten in your belly. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him. 

Each stroke seemed to become deeper and fuller than the last, Javi’s pace now climbing in speed and intensity as he felt your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing that familiar feeling meant you were coming closer to your end. You could barely muster anything but a whimper, your soft pleads and begs going straight to his dick as he slid and out of your wet heat. 

“Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.” 

The lewd sounds of skin hitting skin and low, ragged moans echoed against the bare walls of your unfinished kitchen as Javi fucked deeper and deeper into you, singing sweet, soft praises against your skin between locking your lips with yours. 

“Fuck- Dámelo, Hermosa (Give it to me, beautiful). Need to feel you soak my cock before I fuck you full of me. It’s okay mi amor- mierda- té tengo. (my love- shit- I’ve got you.) I’ve always got you. Forever.” 

You could feel your legs lock even tighter around Javi’s waist as heat began to bloom in your belly, only needing a few more thrusts as you rolled your hips against his before your mind went blank and vision went white, your orgasm crashing through your body and flooding every inch of you with pleasure so intense, you could feel yourself going limp in his grasp. 

“Fuck, Javi, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god-ahhhhhhhh-” You whimpered as Javi fucked you through your high, now desperate to chase his own as his thrusts became rushed and sloppy, pounding into you as your walls gripped around his cock like a vice. Your warmth and wetness consumed him, only needing a few more pumps before he could feel himself following suit, hissing through gritted teeth as incoherent babbles spilled from his lips. 

“There it is, baby. Fuck- fuck, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you so much, Osita. Con todo mi corazón. (With my whole heart). Oh fuck- I’m yours forever. Oh shit, I’m gonna cum to, oh fuckkkkkk.” 

With one last thrust, Javi finished buried deep inside you, hot ropes of his cum coating your walls as a slick mixture of spend leaked down your thighs, leaving him panting while he slumped into your shoulder, his chest heaving with labored breaths, trying to compose himself. Bracing himself with one palm flat against the counter next to your hip, his other hand reached up to your face, brushing away a piece of stray hair back into place before gently cupping your cheek as he spoke. 

“Osita, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I just- fuck- I’ve never been so sure of anything, but when we were at golf today, Steve brought up Lorraine, and I- I just was so scared I was gonna fuck everything up again, and I-” 

“Oh God, he brought up Lorraine?! Jesus. I knew it. I knew this was Steve’s fucking fault.” You sighed, quietly laughing to yourself as you shook your head. 

“Wait, how did you-” 

“Because it just seemed so strange that you were acting like this all of a sudden. You got back from golfing with him and it was like you were a different person. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I was freaked out and panicking wondering what happened because you’ve never acted like that before. That, and because I love Steve, but he’s an idiot.” The two of you were both now laughing, Javi rubbing his hand over his face before rolling his eyes, wondering to himself how he had really let his friend’s stupid comment get the best of him. 

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I should have just ignored it, I just hadn’t thought about it in so long and I was so terrified to mess everything up again. It would kill me to hurt you like that.” His thumb circled around your cheek as he tilted your gaze to meet his, sincerity and remorse swirling in the dark pools of his chocolate brown eyes. 

“Javi, listen, if this is moving too fast, or it’s too much for you, I want you to be able to tell me, I understand if-” Before you could finish your sentence, Javi’s lips were planted tenderly against yours, pulling away from your mouth with a goofy grin and satisfied sigh. 

“I promise you, I’ve never wanted anything more. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to marry you,” he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek, “I can’t wait to live in our new house with you,” he grinned, planting another ticklish kiss on your neck, “I can’t wait until we can finally start filling up these empty rooms with little baby Peñas” Javi chuckled, now peppering kisses all over your body, making you erupt in a fit of laughter and giggles, squirming and flailing in his grasp, playfully swatting at him. “I can’t wait to spend every day for the rest of my life with the most beautiful, amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He smirked, tilting his head to let your mouths meet again, this kiss filled with a tender passion and intensity unmatched by his previous playful ones. 

It was the kind of kiss that said all of the things that words couldn’t. The kind of kiss that had butterflies fluttering in your stomach like the first kiss you had shared in Maria’s bathroom almost a year ago. The kind of kiss that made you fall even deeper in love with him, even when you thought you couldn’t. 

It was also the kind of kiss  where everything else in the world seemed to melt away and make time stand still, a kiss that you could have stayed lost in forever… unless a certain someone hadn’t forgotten his wallet at your house and needed to come back and get it. 

You were so oblivious to anything else happening around you, that neither you or Javi had heard your front door open, followed by the rushed, impatient footsteps of Steve and Connie, arguing about where Steve could have left his wallet, and how on earth he could have left without realizing it was missing from its usual home in his back pocket. 

“Seriously, Steve, I can’t believe we’re gonna waste a whole hour having to turn around and come back here because you couldn’t remember your wallet!” 

“Con, I told you, it’s right on the counter, I know where it is, lemme just go grab it really quick and then we ca- Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” Steve shouted, walking into the kitchen to see you and Javi making out on your island, your dress pushed up well past your legs, and Javi’s bare ass on display from his pants still pooling around his ankles. 

“Ahhhhh!” You and Javi shrieked, practically jumping out of your skin to see Steve’s tall and lanky frame frozen in your kitchen, now scrambling to try and fix your clothes and hair to try and save yourselves at least some dignity. 

“What the hell are you two doin’?!” Steve grimaced, trying not to cackle to himself as Connie rushed up behind him to see what was happening, only to very quickly cover her eyes and turn away from you and Javi. 

“Us?! What the hell are you doing here? Jesus, you ever heard of fucking knocking, Murph?!” Javi groaned, shuffling his pants back up and fixing his hair before helping you off the counter, trying your best to hide your beet red, embarrassed face. 

“I forgot my wallet! Forgive me for thinkin’ you two would keep your hands off each other for long enough to let me come pick it up in peace.” Steve frowned, raising up his hands in defense. 

“I’m sorry! I told him to call you to let you know he was coming to pick it up, but he seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal.” Connie scolded, giving Steve a forceful nudge of her elbow before finally turning back around to face you and Javi, knowing you were at least halfway decent. “God, I love you, but you are an idiot.” 

“You can say that again…” You snickered under your breath, just loud enough to make Javi and Connie join in your laughter, leaving Steve with his arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

“Hey, listen. Call me what you want, but I don’t think you’ll be callin’ me an idiot when you need me to come babysit your 47 kids so the two of you can get some…” He paused gesturing to you and Javi’s disheveled state, “... time to yourselves. Like I said earlier, y’all gotta lot of rooms to fill, and I don’t think you’re gonna have any problem doin’ it.” 

And for as much as you wanted to give Steve the ten pounds of shit he deserved, as you looked up at Javi standing next to you, you couldn’t really even bring yourself to be mad. Because in the end, the only thing that mattered was him- the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one who was your future, the one who stood with you through every twist and turn, the one who was your home. What started as a day that had you questioning everything had turned into one that had never made you feel more assured. You knew that Javier Peña loved you more than life itself, and you knew that you were so lucky to spend the rest of your life getting to prove to him over and over that you loved him just as much. 

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

[toruq]

im sending u these ones specifically bc i know ur less connected to ur mc than to anne muhahaha >:333

12. What does your character look like? Which hairstyle and make up do you prefer on them?

13. What is your character's name? Do you wish to change it, if the function ever makes its way into the game?

14. How do you dress your character? Do you coordinate the outfits between Rider and Horse?

and if u feel like it im curious about these:

23. Which Druid Circle do you prefer? Is there a reason for your preference? Is it tied to the Soul Rider of the Circle?

20. What part of the Main Story is your favorite?

11. How many horses do you own in total? Did it use to be more, or are you still missing a few?

04. Which Horse was your first purchase? Do you still own that horse, and what did you name it?

05. Which Horse is your favorite? Do you own said horse, or are you simply dreaming of buying it?

juni you must hate me or something

under the cut because there's so much to answer (mostly about my mc that i neglect so hard)

12. What does your character look like? Which hairstyle and make up do you prefer on them?

ok, here is ida. i draw her based on the old player model but in the new player model she looks a bit different. I use this chunky highlight hair because it somewhat hides the fact that her ears stick out now when wearing a hat/helmet (this pisses me off the most about the new characters). but she used to have this black hair, and of course dark eye makeup. it's a lot like what i do irl

13. What is your character's name? Do you wish to change it, if the function ever makes its way into the game?

Ida Riverwood! I don't ever want to change it. I actually really like it and I'm surprised my kid self was smart enough to choose that

14. How do you dress your character? Do you coordinate the outfits between Rider and Horse?

you can kinda see how i dress her in those pics of her, usually a dark color scheme and yes I coordinate it with the horse. I actually dress her in a lot of sweaters and typically with proper breeches and tall boots and helmet as if it were a regular english outfit irl. I occasionally dress her and her horse in western gear, or use streetwear if she's off the horse

23. Which Druid Circle do you prefer? Is there a reason for your preference? Is it tied to the Soul Rider of the Circle?

you may be surprised, but I like the moon circle just a smidgen more than the sun circle, though they are in close competition. I just love the aspects of both of them, visions & teleportation. I find it so interesting and quite applicable to real life, at least personally, because of how I experience life with PTSD. it is easy to convey my mind through comics about the powers of these circles.

20. What part of the Main Story is your favorite?

oh my, if you can count the storyline in SSL as a predecessor to SSO, i would say Anne's first trip to Pandoria to save Concorde. in SSO, it's surprising but seeing Anne without saving her must have been my favorite. I was disappointed with the actual saving Anne quest, but seeing Pandoria for the first time in SSO was an experience I won't forget, even though I prefer the atmosphere of Pandoria in SSL

11. How many horses do you own in total? Did it use to be more, or are you still missing a few?

oh my. 64. I once sold the green whinfell because i found it so ugly. But I felt so bad and rebought it a year or two ago.

04. Which Horse was your first purchase? Do you still own that horse, and what did you name it?

this little POS, Carrotwinner. I still have him. pic taken just now

05. Which Horse is your favorite? Do you own said horse, or are you simply dreaming of buying it?

can you logically ask me this question Juni?

just kidding, my favorite (purchasable) horse is this little guy, and I'm so lucky to have him. I think he was either the second or third old fjord I bought, and I have three. the white one, and orange thing I also have.

[lemonhemlock]

Hey! 👋 I don’t know if you have TikTok, but I do and whenever a HOTD vid comes on my FYP, I always see all these comments blaming Otto for the Dance. It is so annoying. I won’t deny that Otto played a big part in it, but it wasn’t his fault. People blame Otto, Rhaenyra, Alicent, and Aemond for the Dance, but I never see anyone blame the dude whose fault it actually was: ‼️VISERYS‼️The Dance is a direct consequence of his action, or rather his inaction.

1. Naming Rhaenyra heir. He apparently does this because Daemon was a bad heir and he felt guilty about killing Aemma. But in the books, when Aemma dies, he is 28 years old. Pretty young, even for medieval times. He knew he’d most likely have to remarry. He knew that the chance of having a son with his new wife was high. So why not just put up with Daemon’s bullshit for a couple years until he has a son? Aegon is born in 107 AC, literally two years after Aemma dies. If he hadn’t named her heir, the Dance wouldn’t have happened.

2. Not doing anything else. So he names Rhaenyra heir and does nothing else. He broke years of tradition and then just sat on his ass. He didn’t try to make a new law or anything. In my opinion, he should have codified the idea that the firstborn would inherit regardless of gender. I think it would have been much easier to make it a widespread thing instead of making Rhaenyra the exception. By the time he died, no one would have batted an eye at her ascending the throne and Viserys would actually be the ✨feminist king✨ Team Black thinks he is.

3. Remarrying. So, he’s a 28 year old widower when he names Rhaenyra heir. He knows people will probably be hounding him to remarry. He knows that if he remarries, he might have a son with his second wife. He knows that if he has a son with his second wife, people will think that this son is the legitimate heir to the Iron Throne. So just don’t remarry. Then Rhaenyra, as his only child, would be the only option to take the throne.

4. Not marrying them to each other. I hate to argue for incest, but they were Targs lol. After Alicent gave him 3 kids and he saw how shit was going down, he should have married Rhaenyra and Aegon. There is a 10 year age difference in the books, and it was said that they disliked each other, but that would still be preferable to a war that killed thousands.

The fact that he caused the Dance is just one of the many reasons I hate him. Anyways sorry for the rant 😌

Hi, Reina! I do have TikTok and I enjoy using it, but it's not a fandom account and I mainly use it like a normal person to collect recipes, hacks, short makeup reviews and funny animal content. I haven't been on in a couple of months though since I've been spending more time here. I am a bit wary that I'm going to get a lot of HOTD/ASOIAF clips with annoying takes.

I basically agree with all your points lol. :))

The fact that he remarried SO quickly and impregnated his new wife is so strange. That can't NOT be deliberate, I mean??? It's not like he had lost all hope of producing another son. It's so illogical. This kind of thing never would have happened IRL - Henry I only named Matilda his heir after her brother died and only until he managed to get himself a son, but that never happened and Matilda quite logically remained his only option. I think we're supposed to believe it's an emotional reaction in-universe, but, yes, it would have been much more measured to just give Alicent a chance to birth a son lol.

So, see, this is where I don't really know what he could have done to keep Rhaenyra as heir in the context of her having brothers, because this never would have been a conversation in 12th Century England. And I'm not a medievalist, so I have limited knowledge on how enforceable this supposed edict of Viserys' could have been. Medieval law adoption and enforcement is a mess and I'm not qualified to speak on it with any degree of authority, other than to point out that 'feudalism' (a term many historians take issue with anyway), in its very simplified form, implies a struggle for power between king and vassals. If this new law proved to be unpopular and the lords refused to carry it out, what would happen then? Is a law really a law if you cannot enforce it or is it just words written on a piece of paper? What exactly are the conditions via which some arbitrary rule stops being a theoretical concept and becomes an actual law? (I'm sure scholars of law and philosophy could have a field day debating these questions). All of this, should, of course be integrated in the kind of political system Westeros seems to be: the King only disposes of the Crownlands + Dragonstone* as his own personal fiefdom - militarily and resource-wise it doesn't seem to be much - and probably relies on levies collected and surrendered by vassals. The Lords Paramount are very powerful, dispose of military might and wealth, and can pose a lot of problems if they decide to rebel. As others have already pointed out, Westeros is not an absolute monarchy, however much people like to throw around that term. The Lords disagreeing with this huge change in the political and social landscape should be a very serious problem. As I keep pointing out, the historical inspiration King Henry I had his nobles swear oaths for Matilda twice, once in 1127 and once in 1131 (he died in 1135) and that still wasn't enough. I think that if the solution were as simple as "just pass a law lol", Henry would have implemented it. But it took until Queen Mary I for England to have a ruling female monarch - so nearly 400 years later.

I think the re-marrying can be explained away as Viserys needing a few extra heirs beside Rhaenyra, in case something happened to either him or his daughter. Which I can accept, but you can't eat your cake and have it, too, here. You gotta pick one: either stick with Rhaenyra and make her produce more heirs OR remarry and produce more heirs yourself. Not both.

So, yeah, people should blame Viserys for this mess, but they don't want to because Paddy gave a stellar performance that pulled at their heartstrings, so now he's father of the year and a peaceful king.

*How much wealth Dragonstone generates would actually be an interesting, if separate, discussion. Stannis doesn't seem to have a lot in the main series and feels very slighted because Robert chose to give Storm's End to Renly instead - the Stormlands appear to be the richer kingdom here. However, if I remember correctly, the worldbook states that the Targaryens became quite wealthy on Dragonstone when they moved there due to trade?

Dragonstone had been the westernmost outpost of Valyrian power for two centuries. Its location athwart the Gullet gave its lords a stranglehold on Blackwater Bay, and enabled both the Targaryens and their close allies, the Velaryons of Driftmark (a lesser house of Valyrian descent), to fill their coffers off the passing trade. Velaryon ships, along with those of another allied Valyrian house, the Celtigars of Claw Isle, dominated the middle reaches of the narrow sea, whilst the Targaryens ruled the skies with their dragons.

[thespianinthebackcorner]

I don't think y'all realise just how different Inklings and Octolings are from humans. Like yes they have a human shape but if you take into account all the biological differences then you'd realise if Splatoon hd any more of a realistic artstyle they'd look like a villain of Doctor Who made to explain why we have the uncanny valley reflex. Just based on my own observations and a little bit of cephalopod knowledge this is all the differences I can find (long post inkoming):

They have tentacles instead of hair. Obvious, I know, but if you saw that irl it'd be weird as hell.

Said tentacles can change colour at will and even glow.

If you follow regular cephalopod logic they should be able to move said tentacles at will too.

Octoling tentacles have already been shown to move on their own the way octopus arms do, since there are brain cells inside each arm. (Marina's hair moves on its own.)

Their skin is extremely thin and smooth, so it'd look like they constantly have an unnatural layer of makeup on or something because their skin doesn't have the trademark roughness and layers that humans have.

They don't have hair. And I know this is basic but this affects them to a much larger extent than you'd notice- they don't have eyelashes (which the game cleverly avoids you noticing with the black mask around the eyes), small hairs on their arms and legs, and they don't shed hair the way we do either.

Speaking of the black mask, it's actually quite thick in width, especially on Inklings, and takes up a fair percentage of their face.

They don't have bones. They seem to have a bit of internal skeleton, since they seem to have spines (and squids do have skeletons, just not made of bone) but they don't have bones the way we do.

speaking of, that lack of bones means they're insanely flexible. Like hyperflexible to the point it would absolutely be considered a medical condition from a human standpoint- I have hyperflexibility and there are things they do that I would never be able to. S2's box art is a good example of this, the main girl's knee is almost bent flat.

Their ears are huge. Like just as a guesstimate your average Inkling ears are 5-10cm out from head to tip, and that's probably wrong. Their ears are also soft and flexible enough that they can easily be pinned back by human-style headphones.

They're majorly ink, so they're extremely light and can easily jump over each other without trying. And they're supposed to be regular human height, so your average Inkling or Octoling could jump over you no problem unless you're like a hundred eighty cm.

Being so light also means they fall slower, which would be extremely weird to see if one just jumps out of a tree and practically floats down compared to how fast humans fall.

despite being light, they're really strong- while heavy weapons like Tents Missiles and the Heavy Splatling weigh them down a bit, they have no problem carrying one unless it's firing. And they can withstand the kickback of high-powered chargers. The kickback of most guns like that that we have will tear your arm off.

As far as I'm aware their teeth aren't separated. It's descendant of a squid's beak (and whatever the octopus equivalent of that is) which is pretty similar to some bird beaks (hence the name) so they don't have separated teeth. It's just a line of bonelike material (yes this disturbs me too)

their blood is blue. Not many of them have their mouths open in promo art but cephalopod blood is blue, and those that do have their mouths open in official art usually have a fairly cool colour on the inside- if it's not blue, it's a navy green or something like that because of their ink colour. Frye is a great example of the blue blood, it's really obvious with her.

To that extent, if you flirted with one it'd probably look like they have severe hypothermia because they'd blush blue instead of red like we do.

did I mention they shapeshift in one of the creepiest ways possible? We all remember the weirdass photos people took in S1 of Inklings mid-shift with their eyes open. That would be extremely weird to see irl

speaking of the shapeshifting, they've somehow managed to engineer their clothes and weapons so that they shift with them :/

They can't touch water without it damaging them, although they still seem to need it in moderate amounts to survive the same way we do. A lot of people ask why there are so many Inkling cities and stages built around water and it's partially because of us, they inherited the ruins we left behind and rebuilt it their own way.

they don't have lips. On humans lips are parts of our mouth turned outwards, but they don't seem to have them. The edges of their mouth do work a little similarly, and they do use like lipstick n stuff (Fuzzy Octolings do and it looks way too good on them) but as far as I can tell they don't have lips the way we do.

Their eyes can have three different colours.

not a biological thing but did y'all notice they only seem to wear socks with sandals

their canines are weirdly placed (and I know I said that their teeth are just a solid line but bear with me here). Some Inklings have three canines, two on the upper row where we have them and one in the centre on the bottom. Octolings only seem to have two, one on the upper left and one on the bottom right. Some Inklings have four canines the way we do.

their pupils aren't always black. Depending on their eye colour they can be a dark blue which is interesting

they seem to be able to control their eye colour and skin tone the way they do with ink, implying they have absolute control over every type of pigment in their body

some Octolings have the peanut-shaped pupils like Marina does and some don't???

Some Octolings may have a source of poison, they're descendant of the Blue-Ringed octopus because they have rings of their own on their tentacles (Side Order highlights this well) but whether or not the toxins carried over is a mystery

They're cannibals btw. No problem eating squid, and Marie makes comments in every game about calamari rings being tasty

They're ever so slightly bioluminescent, you can see it in Splatfests cause they cause a blueish glow on the floor whoever they are

The rings on Octoling tentacles seem to glow on their own, Special charged or no

Seemingly at will with enough energy they can begin glowing quite brightly with an effect that makes them look like they're on fire

This also gives them the strength to unleash hyperstrength or enhance them to a point where it causes damage to others (Pearl using her special strength with the princess cannon, Captain 3 using hyperstrength to throw a giant lawnmower like a kilometre away and then proceed to use the thing in midair)

It also seems to serve as a backup reserve of ink since their specials can be used even if their ink tank is empty.

Please do not underestimate the hyperstrength part, how many of y'all remember Original Agent 3 just barreling through at least one layer of solid concrete

There are a whole bunch of other things like Super Jumping that I'd love to mention but go more into behavioural territory than physical. Btw regular cephalopods can achieve a similar thing to super jumping by ejecting high-pressure ink, which is probably also how Inklings and Octolings do it

Their fingers and toes are squared instead of rounded like ours are

I'm not even about to go into how fucked up their trachea and vocal systems have to be compared to ours to get the voices they have

They can probably see a different range of colours that we do, maybe even a wider one (and I'm aware that current cephalopods have pretty bad eyesight but evolution for land has to be taken into account)

And that's just what I know with a little bit of basic cephalopod knowledge and my own in-game observations. In videogame world they seem fine cause the artstyle is built around them but in a realistic setting they'd be setting off the uncanny valley alarm constantly. On one hand it would be funny to see someone who's good at realism draw the agents or someone like that but also, again, disturbing as hell. Splatoon has the capability to become a horror series and I am grateful it is not. I'm surprised some of the characters in Smash Bros are so chill around them, considering that the Smash Bros collaborations are implied to be canon to some series (Bayonetta in particular is aware of them, when you scan Splatoon amiibos in the switch version of Bayonetta 2 a little message pops up mentioning the narrator's desire to visit, talk to Sheldon, and maybe get an N-Zap. Idk whether that narrator is Bayonetta herself or something else, I've never played a Bayonetta game).

[emphasisonthehomo]

Hi! I hope this message will reach you and not be eaten by Tumblr (again...)

So, in my previous message i told you i was sorry if i came up as aggressive, but english isn't my first language and i always feel either too much polite or so direct it verges on unkind. And i thanked you for your answers, i loved them :)

we know people in Danno's life knew about Stef before their meeting, but what about Stef? Did she talk about him to someone?

What was their first arguflirting on reddit? (i love you kept the idea of their cargurments but in a different way)

If i remember well, sometimes Danno thought about asking her to meet (i think it was before she became a SEAL) but what about Stef?

freebie! If you want, tell us about an aspect that's still have to come up/you're just feral about.

Thank you again ;)

Thank you for re-sending! These are fun. You're English is very good, and I don't think you're being aggressive or anything.

The t4t au in question.

ONE:

Stef didn't tell anyone. She's kind of hyper paranoid, and Jerz/Danny is the only one who knows she's trans, so she kept very quiet about him. Which in many ways is sad, because she couldn't be like "So my moron reddit friend from New Jersey started dating a girl after she hit him with her car" with her irl friends.

TWO:

I don't have specifics, but it was about something monumentally stupid. Maybe movies, because that's kind of become a weird theme in this. But it was a low stakes argument, that for some reason they were both willing to throw down over.

THREE:

Stef thought about it A LOT. But it was always something that seemed out of the realm of possibility for her. She's kept her compartments separated very aggressively. Meeting Danny irl would blur those lines, and that's honestly kind of scary for her. But then she goes to the reserves, and before she's even really started to explore how she can starts to relax, Danny shows up and starts yelling.

FOUR:

Minor spoiler?

>:) I'm gonna put her in so much lingerie, and Danny is going to go absolutely insane over it.

She's not particularly femme, but she does like to feel pretty, and there's nothing quite like satin and lace to help her with that. I don't think she's ever going to be a makeup and heels kind of woman.

But she will have on something cute and fire engine red under her cargos.

[parkermonroesweat]

Reasons I Present Femme Online

My femme side is "older" b/c she has more experience expressing herself in public, therefore it feels safer to share her with the world.

I rarely wear makeup or femme clothing, so presenting femme online creates a separation between digital life and meat life.

My femme side has been sexualized since childhood thanks to living in patriarchy, so claiming my sexual autonomy with this persona is therapeutic and empowering.

I really hope one day I will be confident enough and feel safe enough in my IRL community that I can share more of my masc side as well. I think he's also quite beautiful, creative, and sexy. He deserves to be seen when the time is right, but he's not ready. That's ok. He is very visible in my day-to-day life, and I love him. If he wants to be seen online, I trust that he will let me know.

Here are some affirmations I'm using during this phase of my growth:

I give myself permission to take my time exploring and exercising different parts of myself, and I choose to do so in ways that are erotically affirming to me.

I share the parts of myself that desire to be seen.

I protect the parts of myself that desire safety.

I follow the flow of energy that is joyful, erotic, inspiring, and life-giving.

I am worthy of love.

I am worthy of money.

I am worthy of pleasure.

I am worthy of self-expression.

I am powerful. I am changing the world.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Which DCLA character would you say is neurodivergent?

I've always been unsure if I could say a lot about it, as I am what I know, neurotypical. However, I have a lot of research and knowledge about the topic, as I've for quite a long time wondered if perhaps I am neurodivergent (it would explain a lot of things). I also know a lot of neurodivergent people irl and online, and I've related to a lot of things. However, with that in mind, I have had thought about several dcla characters possibly being neurodivergent.

First one is Jade. The way Jade always gets treated like she's dumb. Like she doesn't get it. Like she can't take care of herself at all and everyone else needs to tell her what to do. Just because her brain works differently than most, just because she takes longer to understand, just because she has a hard time reading social cues... she's not stupid! Her interests are also treated as stupid, "oh she doesn't know anything but fashion and makeup" I just??? Remember when Jade had her nail art business? SHE WAS THRIVING. Stupid Matias is like "you gotta find a good job" and Jade is treated as "lazy" for not having a job (as if he didn't even try to search for one during an entire season). But hey dude, have you heard that, perhaps not everyone can work a full-time job, cause it gets too overwhelming for them? Of course, this does not necessarily mean they're neurodivergent, but in Jade's case... she works a lot better with her part-time job as a nail artist and she's GOOD at it and she makes people HAPPY - not to mention when she starts working as an opera singer. The real stupid and lazy one here is Matias and he should get tf away from his sister. Idk if this was a good explanation to why I like the neurodivergent hc on her, as I just kind of went on a rant.

Ofc we have Ludmila too. Astronomy hyperfixation. Can and will infodump about stars and space every day all the time and that's so slay of her honestly <3

Can not go without mentioning Luna, obviously. I fully support the hc of her having ADHD. Not only with her hyperactivity and extreme fixation on roller skating, to the point where she somehow falls asleep with them despite having her room on the top floor, but also the way she out of nowhere switches subjects and is shown at times to have signs of hypersensitivity (I don't have concrete examples right now, but I thought about it when watching the show)

Both Andres and Jazmin are presented more neurodivergent-coded, and sadly it's another case of them being treated like they're dumb. I don't really like that the shows are doing stuff like this, tbh the dcla shows do have a problem with ableism. Not only with neurodivergence, but also with characters having dementia, schizophrenia, etc. Even if it's just coded or canon, they're played for laughs.

A Bia character I wondered might be nd is Zeta, Pietro's cousin. He's presented as being addicted to video games and being on his phone. But it may be more than that. The way he doesn't like to to talk to the others, the way he feels very uncomfortable when his devices are taken away and just how no one seems to truly get him. They try to get him to act like them instead of, perhaps, trying to see more of his perspective. Honestly, the way the show presented it, and the way he even got a psychologist, I thought they were actually gonna do some kind of nd storyline with "oh, he acts like this for a reason, he acts differently than everyone else cause of this". But then it was just an "oh he's addicted to video games and we need to stop his addiction" storyline instead?

There's also some characters that are more of "they don't necessarily have to be nd, but I did notice some signs".

Like how Nina is infodumping a lot of whatever she has read or heard. A lot of statistics, a lot of "it needs to be logical". Also I like the idea of her and Luna being nd besties.

Ámbar I remember once starting to explain how she has a system to make everything work in her life. She needs to roller skate, cause if she doesn't, she might not be as focused in school, which means she might not be able to get top scores. Everything in her life needs to have a structure and if it doesn't, she can't function. This is a little harder to pinpoint and doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I thought of it.

There's also Camila. With her it's legit just vibes, not any real explanation to why.

So there you have it. I don't know if I explained well, or if I perhaps can't say as much about it, but as I have thought about it I figured I could share my thoughts.

[nhlovesadri3]

When you hear the words "Victoria's Secret Angel," you can't help but think of iconic models like Alessandra Ambrosio, Tyra Banks, and, of course, Adriana Lima. Lima walked her last VS Fashion Show in 2018, retiring from the brand after almost 20 years of modeling countless pieces of lacy lingerie and decorated wings. But, as the saying goes, you'll always find your way back home, and Lima is rejoining her Victoria's Secret family this month.

The brand recently re-launched Heavenly Eau de Parfum, now with a chic updated bottle and a brand new campaign, and Lima is the face of the iconic scent's return. I had the pleasure of sitting down with her at the Heavenly launch event in NYC. (She's just as beautiful—and towering—IRL as she is on-screen, FYI.) There's a common misconception that all models are cold and standoffish, but Lima proved to be quite the opposite—her warm and bubbly personality shined through as we discussed everything from her mascara obsession to her return to the brand.

"I’ve been with Victoria's Secret since 1999," Lima told me. "I feel like my career grew since I became part of the Victoria's Secret family, and I feel like I am back home. Coming back with Heavenly has been an honor because one of my favorite campaigns with Victoria's Secret was Heavenly back in 1999. It was my first fragrance campaign with Victoria's Secret, and it's my favorite fragrance with Victoria's Secret. I cannot imagine a better way to return."

Over the course of the event, we chatted about the beauty practices and tips she swears by. Ahead, everything Adriana Lima relies on, from her best-kept fragrance trick to the dramatic mascara hack she learned on set.

Why Fragrance Is the Best Accessory

"The most empowerment in a look comes from a fragrance. No matter what you wear, if you don't have the fragrance at the end, you cannot feel empowered. So, to me, and I guess for every woman, the most key, essential item in a look, no matter if it's a night out, red carpet, or day-to-day, is a fragrance."

The One Thing That Smells Like Home

"Home to me smells like my family—when we are together with a home-cooked meal, or the lingering Heavenly scent in my closet when we’re going out or coming back from a date night. Those scents that bring you back to the present moment, or a special moment, and remind you of your loved ones."

The One Fragrance Trick She Loves

"I have this trick that I do with fragrances. I have a fragrance for every occasion, and I like to be remembered. So, I tend to use the same fragrance at particular times, like events. I have different scents, so people will know my smell, and when they smell it, they will think of me. And then to be remembered, I choose particular people to gift my favorite fragrances, so that way when they use it, I will continuously [be] remembered."

The Best Beauty Tip She Learned On Set

"One of them is that I'm obsessed with mascara. I like to keep adding layers on top of each other. Like, I don't wash them off. I know it sounds crazy, but I add layers for one or two days. I like [my lashes] very heavy!"

The One Makeup Look She Can Always Count On

"I think one of the trends that I've never stopped doing, no matter what season [it is] or where I am, is red lipstick. My signature thing is red lipstick."

The One Thing She Does Before Bed Every Night

"I like to take care of my skin. So, I wash my face with cleanser. And then use my Soma Ayurvedic Vitamin C Serum ($118). I like natural, organic products."

The One Skincare Step She’ll Never Skip

"It’s very important to moisturize your skin on a daily basis and use sunblock. I love oils—absolutely any kind of oil. Right now, I'm using the Rozuri Anti-Aging Super Oil ($115). I know some people get scared because you don't want to make your skin oily, but you can find something really easy to absorb, depending on your skin type. I personally like the heavy oils—the heavier, the better so that I have that dewy, glowy kind of finish."

The Beauty Products She’s Been Using Forever

"I use the Soma Ayurveda vitamin C oil. I’m obsessed with the Tatcha The Water Cream ($70). And I love to take cotton pads soaked in coconut water and put them on the fridge to get cold. Then I put them on my eyes."

[bloodcorpceo]

today i am feeling pretty blackpilled. it's the first of the month...

i wanted to feel renewed, refreshed but instead I'm feeling pretty hopeless. i am having one of my many body dysmorphia outbursts. i saw this ugly picture of myself in bad lighting last night at a party and immediately began having negative thought loops and an anxiety attack. i know that sounds really silly to people who don't have issues like this but for me... this just made me feel defeated and hideous. i was already feeling down and ugly because no one talked to me at the bar or club last night again... people almost never approach me and my friends tell me it's because im "unapproachable" but sometimes i wonder if this is just cope not to hurt my feelings. what if the only time i look decent is when i am extremely curated but im actually ugly? i see all my flaws intensely and i often think im hideous or mid at best, no this isn't fishing for compliments either I've never been mentally sound with my appearance and spent too much of my life actually being a 4 to the point where i have permanent damage to my self image and general mental state.

i think the people around me irl are awful at dealing with and helping me with my mental health issues. this morning when i was seeking some kind of solid answer my friend just would silently nod or just say something like "don't seek approval from others". my mother and i got into an argument and she raised her voice at me calling me shallow and saying my primary focus is my appearance but she chooses to live in lala land and refuses to recognize that your appearance determines your entire quality of life, especially when you are as poor as me. i literally have no escape out of poverty besides my appearance because in reality I'm not that bright. my mom doesn't understand my mental health state despite having a psychology degree. she doesn't have pcos like me and never struggled with her weight as a young woman, always had tons of friends and boyfriends, was voted prom queen and even had a modeling contract. how could she ever possibly understand how i feel or relate to me? i have quite literally lived most of my life as a femcel. i can count on one hand how many friends i have even now and didn't even kiss a guy until i was over 20.

just last year i started to get sort of attractive by losing weight, changing my makeup and hair and finally felt a little comfortable putting myself out there but I'm still terrified. i still don't go out much and i feel like i repel people. I've built a wall to protect myself from being hurt again. i might be prettier than before but i still feel the same inside and I'm still socially inept, so i still don't attract people. i really need therapy but i cant afford it. i have been intensely struggling financially this year and i could barely scrounge up a dollar today to pay for my change difference at Starbucks because i desperately needed to get out of the house. i feel intensely upset about the fact that i thought i had found the perfect job to work from home just for the guy to scam me and never pay me even though i worked in bed editing a book for him while i was sick with COVID so i could get it in on time.

i was working my ass off expecting some compensation i desperately need. i feel at a dead end, I've been applying many places but my nail school schedule fucks me and it seems no one really wants to hire me. i can't go until the spring like this, I'm drowning in debt. i am also not looking forward to going back to nail school because i don't like the other girls and i had some issues and the vibe is dead, it won't be fun anymore, it won't be the same. i get upset thinking about it because i feel unwanted. i tried to talk to my friend about this too and she still gave me no reassurance, just the same generic responses. i don't feel relieved or comforted. i suppose i should stop dumping my feelings on my friends but i feel hopeless and really depressed. i don't want to do anything, right now i don't even want to exist.

i just want a decent job and a good man next to me and a home of my own and to get the fuck out of Detroit and to get the surgeries i want and to be thinner and prettier and i want a therapist

[vicsdeangelis]

if stem anon can rant about her crush i can rant about mine. here goes.

(staying on anon, y'all are gonna have to deal with me sorry)

ok so we met in high school through similar classes/clubs and we didn't really talk that much, i kinda just admired her from afar(too much i think lol, the only reason i even came to terms w/ actually having a crush on her was bc i was way too weirdly obsessed with her for it to be a coincidence lmaoo). i couldn't even tell her though bc unforunately i realized this after she had graduated & moved up the country(also bc i thought she was straight, oh how the turntables). now, i always thought she was cool bc she was super creative and fashionable and wrote her own music but over the past couple of years she has just gotten way cooler and more wild, she dyes her hair crazy colors and wears glittery Euphoria-esque makeup and jaunts off to Europe and works for a club in one of the biggest cities in the country and wears nipple tape like Vic(sidenote: she watched the ESC grand final in 2021 were Må won and didn't fall in love w them?! which i consider a red flag lmaoo), it's actually kinda convenient she's so out of my league though bc there's literally no way i could even date her: 1. she lives across the country, like i said 2. she has a gf 3. we barely know each other & tbh sometimes i don't even know if i actually do like her as much as i say i do or if i've just been holding onto this for so long bc she was my First Irl Sapphic Crush, does that make any sense? idk i think i'm actually just insane lol i need to move on already

but anyway the reason i even thought of her or decided to bring her up is bc i found out she's 1-3 hours from from me rn for the holidays when she's usually like 10 and i'm rly bummed bc i can't even reach out to her :( i wish there was like an alternate universe where we were friends or something but idk, things happen for a reason i guess

also crushed on a boy in high school who i'm just realizing now totally reminds me of Ethan(huge brown eyes, probably Italian, openly queer, androgynous, sweetest person ever) but he also lives across the country, even further than the first girl(different big city). foiled again by geography

damn you geography!!!!

i could tell you to reach out to her anyway, actually become friends, but that would be so hypocritical coming from ME because someone here gave me the same advice when the guy i was crushing on at work quit so really, who am i to give advice uhdsfkjsfhdsk

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 18.5.24

Dream 1 He keeps saying he loves me. I feel it is true but I don't believe him so I don't say it back. I am at our old house in the bedroom getting ready to go out with my family. I keep changing my mind with what I’m wearing. I've got on a comfortable outfit, a tracksuit as if I'm about to attend a P.E class but I keep looking in the mirror and second guessing myself. He is standing right beside me, our sides are touching and he keeps whispering in my ear that he loves me but my heart is completely closed to it. Is it even him? I'm getting confused between the energy of him and my ex. I think at one point, we embrace even though we shouldn’t have and I’m thinking, am I really attracted to him romantically? Or like platonically? (like with my ex). As I head downstairs, I see three massive plastic tubs that are stacked on top of each other, filled with slices of cake. The type of cake with copious amounts of pale cream icing, like leftovers from a wedding or other huge celebration event.

My parents are outside. They're in the front yard of our current house, even though I just came downstairs from our old house. They are sitting on the ground and around them are random scattered parts of a pram or something to do with the car. They are trying to fix this contraption I suppose, so we can go. My auntie (who we never talk to) and grandma (who's dead now) are waiting and sitting on chairs in the near distance around where the letterboxes are. I don’t want to greet them so I keep my distance. I want to help my parents but I don't know how. I feel inadequate just standing there. Then my father says to me, you are no longer my worst daughter, your sister is. I feel awkward about this revelation, I was glad to be in his good books but not at the expense of my sibling.

Dream 2 I'm at work and it's busy. I am dealing with a customer and it's taking a long time. Then the student informs me there is someone on the phone waiting to speak to me. It seems like a bigger issue than the one I'm currently dealing with but I obviously have to do things in order. And it has to be me who deals with it too, since the impression is that something is wrong, like missing tablets or the wrong strength. But after I serve the current person, I appear at home where I’m having a shower and I have forgotten all about the phone call. I feel bad. Shit. But also whatever I don’t care. I'll just let the student eventually take the call and deal with it, she’s perfectly capable.

Dream 3 My siblings and I are getting ready to go to our kid cousin's birthday party (who we have never spoken to irl). My parents are already there and we have to go and meet them, the party is taking place right now. We get into the car and even though I'm in the driver's seat, my sister who is in the front passenger seat, is the one who is actually driving. There are steering wheels on both sides. She's doing a good job of it too. She's sitting back in the chair and the wheel is really close to her person, which I find strange because it's detached from the car itself. We arrive at the venue, it's quite fancy and grand but there's barely anyone around. A customer walking past recognises me but I ignore him. We walk around trying to find the room where the party is happening but we can't find it. After awhile we just end up going home and chill in our rooms. When my parents and relatives arrive home, they've barely gotten through the door before they start hurling anger at us for missing the party. I say something in Viet to my mother, something along the lines of we couldn’t find the room, but she mocks me because I pronounced one of the words wrong. I snap at her saying, How dare you mock me when I tried my best. I go back into the bedroom where my sister is. She looks different, prettier, like more radiant. She said she had gotten some permanent makeup done in the style that she usually does her makeup. A tattoo. I saw faint black lines on the creases of her lids which created a nice shadow and I thought she looked lovely.

[tacticalhimbo]

—OCS as OBSCURE ASSOCIATIONS

tagged by @rolangf to fill this fun ass meme out <3

brain hurt so if you see this i’m automatically tagging you to do this for your blorbos ♡

since i was tagged twice.. i think? i lost count-- i'll just cramp two characters into this post. they're also both work in progress god of war ocs, but we don't talk about that <3

CHARACTER: Equinox; Sun Witch / Devotee of Freyr

ANIMAL: Barn Owl

COLORS: Gold, Green, Orange

MONTH: August

SONGS: City of Ashes // Jhariah | Dancing Queen // ABBA

NUMBER: 444 (Protection; Yes I'm assigning them angel numbers)

PLANTS: Starblush (GOW-canon plant), Osteospermum (irl-equivalent), Sunflowers

SMELLS: Warm Spices (Vanilla, Myrrh, Anise), Touches of Vetiver and Sandalwood

GEMSTONE: Amber, Carnelian, Jasper

TIME OF DAY: High Noon

SEASON: Peak Summer

PLACES: Vanaheim Forrests, Field of Flowers during High Noon, Edges of Cliffs as the Sun Settles

FOOD: Kale and White Bean Stew, Fresh Baked Bread, Oven-Braised Veal

DRINKS: Pink Grapefruit Punch, Fresh Orange Juice

ELEMENT: Light / Fire

ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: Leo babeyyy

SEASONINGS: Star Anise, Allspice, and Cubeb

SKY: High Noon and Golden Hour

WEATHER: Clear Skies

MAGICAL POWER: Aethimancy (Aether Magic / Pure Elemental Magic), Solar Magic, Soul Guidance / Empathetic Casting

WEAPONS: None; If I had to choose… Some sort of spear. Something like Draupnir, but less… important? Notable.

SOCIAL MEDIA: Instagram. I just know his ass is making boomerang-style stories and posting OOTDs and has his feed all curated and pretty with divider posts and all (and that format is plant photo, selfie, matching plant photo; he coordinates the plants to his outfit)

MAKEUP PRODUCT: Highlighter

CANDY: Honey-Flavored Hard Candy (Made with organic honey, ofc)

METHOD OF LONG DISTANCE TRAVEL: Flight

ART STYLE: Fauvism, Rococo

FEAR: Isolation, Disappointment

MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE: Centaur (different mythos, but the Norse equivalent ain't quite right. But I can so see him being a horse-type)

PIECE OF STATIONARY: Ribbon / Twine (Do they count? I'm saying they do)

THREE EMOJIS: ✨ ☀️ 🌻

CELESTIAL BODY: The Sun, of course

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CHARACTER: Hrebjorg the Kind; Seeress / Prophetic Witch / Devotee of Freya

ANIMAL: Alexandria's Birdwing Butterfly

COLORS: Green, Turquoise, Gold

MONTH: June

SONGS: The Painted Bird // Billy Vicente | Poet, Soldier, King // The Oh Hellos

NUMBER: 222 (Alignment)

PLANTS: Soulblossom (GOW-canon plant), Cuckoo Flower, Lotus

SMELLS: Floral Scents (Orange Blossoms, Jasmine), with touches of Warmer Spices (Vanilla, Myrrh)

GEMSTONE: Amazonite, Emerald, Moss Agate

TIME OF DAY: Daybreak / First Light

SEASON: Late Spring / Early Summer

PLACES: Vanaheim Forests, On the Edges of the Denser Jungle, Tucked away under the shade of a large, weeping tree as the sun rises overhead

FOOD: Strawberry Pancakes, Peach Salad, Mushroom Risotto

DRINKS: Mint Lemonade, Raspberry Juice

ELEMENT: Earth / Time

ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: Capricorn

SEASONINGS: Basil, Cloves, Cinnamon

SKY: Clear Skies

WEATHER: Sun Shower (Raining while Sunny), or those moments after an intense storm where the sun begins to shine through the clouds and illuminate the very wet, very green grass

MAGICAL POWER: Organic Plant Magic, Animancy, Prophetic Divination

WEAPONS: Bow and Arrow

SOCIAL MEDIA: Pinterest, but also? Twitch. She's the type to do longer 'Just Chatting' streams that's just her going about her daily chores and such because it's a social activity (and she'd love helping younger seeress...es…? Find safe ways to practice)

MAKEUP PRODUCT: Lip Stain

CANDY: Sugared Berries

METHOD OF LONG DISTANCE TRAVEL: Walking

ART STYLE: Art Deco, Art Nouveau

FEAR: Imperfection, Failure, Ridicule

MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE: Skogvættir / Huldufólk (Hidden people, with a particular emphasis on the Skogvættir demanding respect for the forest)

PIECE OF STATIONARY: Handmade Paper (eg., Plantable Seed Paper)

THREE EMOJIS: 🌿 🌈 ⌛

CELESTIAL BODY: Crab Nebula <3

[ggukkiedae]

Artist Made Collection ‘Show’ By BTS - Miya

notes:

just bts doing home shopping promo of their merch, yoonmi edition

ft. mc jungkookie and models yoongi, jimin, hobi

conversations in italics are spoken in english

the lip gloss is actually based off of lipglosses i made irl aksjdhf that’s where i got the sample photos

wc: 1,740

pls pretend that in the gif she’s wearing the makeup i wrote aksjfh

Jungkook: Yes, hello, everyone! Today, as you’ve all been waiting, we’re joined with a series of products more different from previously seen.

the camera pans to the items on the table jungkook’s pointing at

there are three makeup palettes and an open casing containing sunglasses

the camera cuts back to jungkook

Jungkook: I’ve actually been quite excited for these products. They look very very colorful and bright, much like their creator. Let’s welcome her now

jungkook starts clapping, and yoonmi walks out of the dressing room in the back with her shades on

she’s waving and bowing while jungkook is cheering

Jungkook: Everyone, it’s BTS’s Miya! Welcome!

Miya: Hi! Thanks for inviting me here

jungkook is laughing while he pokes at her glasses. she lightly slaps his hand away before the camera cuts to a front shot

she picks up the sunglasses on the desk from its case then slips it onto jungkook’s face

Miya: There, now we match.

he laughed at her before going to remove the sunglasses, but only the dark lenses pop off, making him jolt in surprise

the camera cuts to a closeup shot of the thin frame in jungkook’s hand

Jungkook: Woah, what is this?

Miya: Looks like you’ve gone ahead to start the demonstration

the camera cuts to a mid shot of her and jungkook while she lightly takes the disconnected frame from his hand

she holds it forward to show it off to the camera

Miya: This is the first feature of the Lost Glasses. It can be just normal glasses or sunglasses depending on the situation when you want to wear it. This is done with the thin magnetic frame that goes on and off as easily as this

it cuts to a close up of the frame in her hand and follows as she lightly tosses it towards jungkook’s face. the camera zooms out just a little bit to catch jungkook’s reaction, but he doesn’t flinch

the camera cuts to a further shot of the two as they high-five at the successful trick while laughing

Jungkook: That is pretty cool. What else is up with this?

Miya: In terms of functionality,

she takes the sunglasses off of jungkook’s face and shakes it around

Miya: as you can see, the magnet is strong, so the frame of the shaded lenses won’t just fall off by accident. The glasses themselves, on the other hand,

the camera cuts to a close up of the glasses in her hands as she removes the magnetic frame and holds up the glasses on their own. a purple-ish blue sheen appeared on the normal lenses

Miya: These are blue light filtering lenses.

Jungkook: Oh, what do you mean by this?

Miya: It filters the light from our gadgets and promotes better sleep and reduced eye strain, which I think is suitable for this time and generation. Most people are working through their computer, tablet, and phone screens. In some cases, people also tend to stay up playing games…

the camera cuts to a mid shot of the two once again with yoonmi giving jungkook a pointed look. he rolled his eyes at her and elbowed her in the arm

Jungkook: Yeah, I get it. Could you tell us why you called it the Lost Glasses?

she snorts at him

Miya: Of course. This is where we turn to the aesthetic side of these glasses. They’re a simple black frame with a golden inner lining for that sense of chicness. Engraved inside are the lyrics from Lost which say “To lose your path is the way to find that path”. This is a reminder that it’s okay to stray sometimes because it may benefit you on your way rather than hyper fixating on one road forward. Also

the camera cuts to a closeup of the sunglasses case on the table as yoonmi leans forward to pick up a chain from it along with a circular pendant

Miya: It comes with a chain that acts as both a glasses chain and a necklace

jungkook accepts them as she hands them to him, and the camera focuses on how he’s slipping the pendant onto the chain

Miya: The pendant says “Found My Way”, which also comes from Lost’s lyrics, and it’s meant to serve as motivation and reassurance that you’ve found and are going along the path meant for you

the camera zooms out to show yoonmi putting the necklace on jungkook

he looks at it for a while before giving an approving nod then leaning forward to look at the table in front of them

Jungkook: How about these colorful things? From what I heard, these are eyeshadow palettes and lip glosses

Miya: That’s correct! I really like experimenting with makeup, so I tried making my own line of makeup. The whole set is called “Aesthete” which means someone who knows beauty

the camera cuts to a zoom on the lip glosses. it tracks her hand as she opens them one by one as she talks about them

Miya: This first lip gloss is called “NO:ON”. It’s a clear gloss with minimal red pigmentation just to bring life into your look. I also used a spatula-like silicone applicator so you get the most out of the product and even distribution. If you look here, it’s there but not blinding with the shimmers or the red

she swatches it slightly on jungkook’s arm then raised his arm to his nose. jungkook sniffed before his eyes went wide

Jungkok: It smells like chocolate!

Yoonmi: That’s right. Next, we have “Mikrokosmos”, which smells like berries, and “Stay Gold”, which smells like cinnamon. Both are completely clear glosses that add a slight shimmer and shine to any lipstick or even just your lips. Personally, I love “Mikrokosmos” and its little stars. The stars don’t come out of the tube, though, don’t worry

she swatched them on jungkook who looked at them in genuine curiosity

the camera zoomed out to catch their conversation

Jungkook: They feel really moisturizing but not sticky. That’s from the coconut oil?

Miya: And the aloe, too. I looked into natural ingredients that would make this the least irritating or harmful to the lips as possible.

Jungkook: And what about the eyeshadows?

Miya: Of course. I did the same research to create a safe and pigmented product. Look here

the camera cuts to a close up of the three palettes

Miya: The first one is “Autumn Leaves”, which consists of the colors I wear the most on an everyday basis. This sparkly one is “So What”, which is the designated jelly glitter palette because we could all use the sparkle in our lives. Last is “Best of Me” which had bright experimental colors that you can try new looks out with. Infact, it’s the palette I used on myself today

the camera cut to a bust shot of her as she took off the sunglasses she had been wearing the whole time

the camera slowly zoomed in as she closed her eyes and showed off the colorful look consisting of the pink and purple and slight bit of orange

you can hear jungkook make impressed sounds and clap from off cam

Jungkook: Of course, our makeup master. How about we turn to our three models over there?

the camera goes to a wide aerial shot and pans towards the left where yoongi, hoseok, and jimin were all casually sitting around a table

it cuts to a close up of yoongi, who is “on his phone” while adjusting the glasses on his face before he gets “blinded” and puts on the magnetic frame

Jungkook: Wah, look at that. In no time at all, you can protect your eyes from both your phone and the sun

it then cuts to jimin and hoseok, the former drawing sparkly whiskers and on the latters face along with smileys all over his arm

Jungkook: You can really see the colors, even of the “So What” palette

Miya: Right? Oh, let me show you something

the camera cuts to yoonmi and follows her as she walks over to the model station

jimin faces forward in a rehearsed stiffness, making everyone laugh. she picked up the “autumn leaves” palette from the models’ table and opened it

Miya: I don’t have a brush right now, but let me show you how easy it is to apply and blend even without one

the camera cuts to an extreme closeup of jimin’s face with his eyes closed. yoonmi quickly made a warm and soft slightly glammed up but still wearable everyday look on jimin’s eyes

every now and then, the camera would cut to yoongi either snapping his frame on and off the glasses or “flexing” the necklace

and it would also cut to hoseok happily coloring in jungkook’s tattoos with the colors on the “so what” and “best of me palettes” while jungkook applies the “mikrokosmos” lipgloss on himself

Miya: There. That didn’t take too long, and now the “NO:ON” gloss

she swiped it on jimin’s lips and the camera zoomed out to show the two of them while she applied the “stay gold” gloss on herself

Miya: Tada! Don’t we look nice?

jimin was nodding proudly then it cuts to the other three giving overexaggerated thumbs up in approval

Jungkook: I’m sure everyone is interested in the process of how these products were made, so let’s turn to the making video

the camera cuts to a wide aerial shot before fading into the making video

once the making video is over the camera cuts to jungkook and yoonmi, his tattooed arm over her shoulder so you could see some of the colors filled in by hoseok from earlier

Jungkook: And there we have it, everyone. Bangtan Miya’s “By BTS” collection. Be sure to catch the “Aesthete” makeup set and the “Lost” glasses as soon as they go up for sale, you won’t regret buying them

behind them, the three models were playing with the sunglasses and coloring each other’s faces at random with the eyeshadow palettes and lip glosses. the two maknaes laughed at their antics

Miya: Thank you so much everyone for watching, and thank you to Jungkook-ssi for being a good host

with that, the two waved at the camera which backed away slowly. as the shot faded into black, you can see the three models start poking different colors onto the two maknaes’ faces

-end-

TAGLIST: @sunflower-0180 @seaoffangirling @yourwonderbelle @1-800-enhypennabi @kamiiyou @strwberrydinosaur @uraveragefangirlsposts @caratinylyfe @1-800-minji @woopetals @kimhyejin3108 @starlighthwa @akshverse @toriluvsfics @billboard-singer

[jechristine]

Here are some fun excerpts from the story.

First, on Sam’s genius:

This leaves me morbidly curious about what sick, probably also nonsensical shit was in Sam’s head last year.

Also, this paragraph reminds me that Zendaya is a Euphoria exec producer, as here she does sound like a person with some authority over the filmmaking. Interestingly, Zendaya’s passive voice makes the who-did-what? quite vague (“was scrapped,” “very few things…remain,” and “had to die”). I wonder what role she played in the murder of Sam’s even worse ideas…and to what extent she’s been a cheerleader for what survived.

On Euphoria’s ~edginess~:

I really like Evan Ross Katz, but he is being dense about parents (and non-parents! come on) and their nightmares. I know Zendaya has said that she hopes Euphoria helps people who are suffering to realize that they’re not alone. That’s a lovely wish. I hope the show does that, too.

I just really feel that the overarching takeaway isn’t that teenagers may act dangerously or want dangerous things (which, sure! That theme has been taken up a zillion times, as ERK alludes to), but that if you are a teen who isn’t actively making choices that seriously hurt yourself and others, you’re not worth the attention or time.

Paired with the writing, the effect of the pretty clothes and pretty makeup and colorful lights and the tableaus and the hot actors is that pain here is not only normalized but sensationalized and seductive.

ANYHOW onto Barbie being excessively diplomatic:

“Internal” and “mysterious” lmao

Sydney on Cassie:

Again, Sam’s writing process seems alarming.

And Zendaya on Rue:

I have a now-young adult cousin who I do love IRL who suffers from paranoid schizophrenia and who has self-medicated with anything he could get his hands on since middle school. My aunt and uncle are loving, attentive parents who do their best to get him help and make sure he’s safe, and have been doing so for years. It’s super fucking tough for everyone, though. And also I like to think that I’m an open-minded, open-hearted person who considers others, just in general. So I don’t find it hard at all to give my sympathy a character like Rue.

But truth be told, I’m often left wondering if my empathy is for Zendaya and not for Rue? Like, I want to “love” Rue because Zendaya wants me to and I’m cheering for Zendaya? If she hadn’t spoken about Rue so frequently and emotionally, would Rue be a different character for me? I think I pity Rue more than empathize with her, but I haven’t fleshed out those thoughts yet and I’m waiting for all 8 episode.

Also, is it too much to hope that Rue’s character arc completes by the end of Season 2??? That maybe she’s in a few scenes only in S3 or maybe not there at all, off in rehab?

(And also I’m not surprised to hear that Zendaya had to go to Jon Watts and be like, “uhhhh?? What is this character?” lol)