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makeste · 3 years ago

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“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua and @class1akids’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

#bnha 322 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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chantsdemarins · 2 years ago

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❄️Frost Secrets from the other Son

Chapter 11

The Origin of Wolves

I am so thankful for anyone still reading my story, I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain how much this has meant to me to have you along for the ride. I can't believe this is almost over! Chapter 12 will be two parts because there is just so much happening at the end.

I am sorry this is late, my health and my work have been dragging me down. Please comment and reblog. I love your notes!!!

Chapter Summary: Loki wanders, but redeems himself by doing the right thing, not without a little help from Thor. Lillian goes into labor, but not before some epic intimacy brings these two back together.

Smut rating: 🔥10, Loki and Lillian find their frost giant groove...there could be some kinky stuff happening (based on what you feel is kink worthy...you tell me🥵)

Tags: (thank you if you are still around) 💚

@britishserpent

@lokisgoodgirl

@mischief2sarawr

@immersed-in-mischief

@lokisninerealms

@cakesandtom

@sheris532

@lulubelle814

@huntress-artemiss

@kaogasm

"One more round, just because," Lukas nestled his nose into Loki's neck, his breath rough against his skin. He placed a small glass of liquor near his arm, and for a few brief moments, touched Loki's shoulder, letting his fingers linger, before being whisked away by others. Loki had tucked himself out of view in an even darker corner of the already dimly lit tavern.

Loki was past the ability to utilize his better judgment, his arms barely propping himself up, head on a trajectory towards the table he was hunched over. He attempted to dismiss Lukas's attempts at seduction one last time, although accepting his offer to go to the tavern in the first place was likely the more significant mistake of the evening.

Ten fermented barley drinks guzzled at lightning speed later, there he was.

Earlier in the evening, around drink five, he was dancing, unlike last time when he was a heavyweight in Lukas's arms. The bawdy nature of tavern culture resulted in only a few essential garments remaining on his person.

His jacket, sweater, and boots were nowhere to be found. Nothing much was left on his body but his shirt and leather trousers. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a frill of white moving in a promenade of its own. It had been a scene. No one noticed when Loki's head finally slammed into the bar among the revelry.

Lukas was too involved in the lively festivities, speaking with other old friends. He continued chatting, unaware of his old lover's changed state of consciousness.

Nothing had happened between them, save the innuendo and occasional reminiscing, but it was enough distance away from Lillian that Loki felt like he was still in contact with the trajectory of his old self.

He could trace it when he drank ale with Lukas, even if Lukas was too forward for Loki's current circumstances. Every line almost crossed caused slight shivers down his spine. Like a rabbit almost snared, dashing off at the last moment, heart racing.

So, when the heavy tavern doors swung wide open, letting in the chill of the night smoke from the cooking outside and one big brother- Loki didn't hear. He remained unconscious, head folded in his arms, face down.

"Loki Odinson, where are you?" Thor yelled across the raucous groups of Asgardian folk, not affecting their merry-making very much.

The occasional woman looked up and over at Thor with enticement and trepidation. Both royals didn't usually show up in taverns together. At the same time, it was usually just the dark, brooding one, not the jolly muscular one…

"I know you are here! Show yourself!"

Thor continued to bellow. This time the music stopped. One guest, a somewhat quirky older man with a pipe, pulled on Thor's arm and pointed to the passed-out man hidden away in the recesses of the room.

"Aye, isn't that there him, Prince Thor? He's been celebrating something with that blonde gent," the old man said as he trotted off to his business.

Lukas stood, watching his mouth gaping. His appearance could use some tidying up to make the correct impression for the more formal rule follower of the family, now staring right at him.

He felt a bit haggard. Silencing a belch with his hand, he walked briskly over to Thor and tried to quiet him.

"Thor, Thor, come now, no need to stop the entire party just to rouse your brother from his ale-induced slumber! Let us just go over there and tap him on the shoulder. You would appreciate the same consideration if you were with friends."

Thor quickly flashed his narrow blue eyes at Lukas, speaking calmly but just as loud as before.

"I will not lower my voice or go over there. He shall rise and make the walk of shame towards me. My brother has been hiding here on Asgard beneath our noses while his wife is about to enter labor!"

Lukas was stunned. More like devastated. Crestfallen immediately, his sharp inhale moved his entire chest.

"Wife?"

"Yes, wife, you amorist. Or did he conveniently not tell you?" Thor wasn't apt to tell lies, but he didn't want his brother's already tarnished reputation to get even more corroded. So, he continued.

"Or worse did he tell you, and you disregarded his state, refilling his cup at your pleasure!"

"There wasn't any of that kind of cup filling, Thor," Lukas sheepishly admitted.

Thor shook his golden locks, "that isn't what I meant! I meant literally, the cheap ale you both are consuming. I meant you aimed to get him inebriated."

Still, in shock at Loki's lack of explanation of the current pressing matters of his life, he moved his bangs to the side of his face and seemed too stunned to argue with the elder brother's curt summation of his intentions.

"Loki Odinson, I will say it one more time, and this time you better move, or you are going over my shoulder, and I will carry you out. YOUR SON IS BEING BORN AT THIS VERY SECOND."

Loki caught the words "son" and "born"; his eyes opened.

He briefly studied the location of his head to his body, noticing it was not upright, and there was a soft accumulation of drool on his arm and his cheek. Using his flouncy white sleeve to wipe his face, he slowed, roused, and sat up.

With both embarrassment and disdain, he looked at Thor standing in the ancient doorway.

"What…," he uttered, wiping his face further anxiously.

"Yes, brother, Lillian needs you. I only happened to know because Heimdall got a distress call from her. He sent me to find you!"

"You are to be a father imminently."

He was up now. He grabbed his cloak and boots, tripping over his feet as he hastily pulled them on while running towards the door. Before blowing past Thor, he stopped in his tracks, grabbed Thor's cloak collar with both hands, and leaned in close to his brother's bearded face.

"You are not off the hook for this embarrassment you've caused me."

Almost head-butting, his brother Thor leaned in closer to Loki, "you, my brother, have caused the embarrassment yourself by sneaking here and not telling your friend what was going on with you."

Loki made a huffing sound and dropped his brother's collar; straightening it up, he said, "Thor, this will not be the last you hear of this."

"Go to Lillian, you fool, sober up and be there for her."

Loki was now infuriated. He swung his arm in the direction of his brother's face. Thor ducked with his usual agility at his advantage. Loki missed him and hit his hand hard against the tavern wall.

Immediately in pain, Loki yelled out, "you colossal asshole!" His hand would need to be bandaged; a sheen of blood pooled at his knuckles, dripping down onto his leg.

Lukas came rushing to his side, only to have Loki rebuff and tell him to go away before slipping out the door.

"Heimdall, take me to Midgard, take me to Lillian!" he yelled louder than he probably ever had before in his life.

A few days after Loki left, Lillian received an exciting package on her doorstep. She wished for the days of emails or texts, but it seemed her life was currently a mixture of all forms of popular communication in the last 1,000 years.

The package contained information about giving birth to a Jötunn child, but it seemed to be written by someone who might know her situation more personally.

She sat down next to the fireplace and opened the package slowly, not wanting to uncover something dangerous. It could have been anything.

A long letter fell out of the wrapping. It described the precautions needed to be taken for a mixed realm birth. Specifically, it mentioned -a sexual/mating bond ritual was necessary for labor to begin officially. Lillian couldn't believe what she was reading.

According to the author, since she was now a frost giant, she must have sex with a frost giant to give birth!

She felt something like a flush cross her face as if her cold body could grow warm. She placed a hand on her cheek, and sure enough, a blush erupted. She hadn't thought of Loki's Jötunn form since the night in the cave, when she had taken him so wildly, affirming the beauty she saw in him.

Since Loki left, she also began to feel the beauty of her frost giant form. Having extra time she wasn't used to having, Lillian braided her lengthy hair and added feathers and other small animal bones around each delicate plait. She had augmented her wardrobe to include what seemed like Jötunn-style details, wrapping furs and silks around her. Her red eyes were piercing but also magnetizing, alluring.

Her tall body was even more potent than her human form. She felt like an athlete. Some days she didn't want to return to her human self. If it never happened, a part of her liked being Jötunn. It just wasn't compatible with Loki's ideology, his vision of himself in the realms, and what it would mean to live and love as his other self, but it was beginning to seem familiar to Lillian, not a monster-like.

She could sense deeper into the beliefs of the Jötunn and was swept away into the simplicity of faith, the way they believed in their realm, trusted it to hold their feelings and emotions safe for them suggested a relationship they would do anything to defend. Both stunning to behold and terrifying to understand.

She pictured Loki. Her desire was burning; whether this strange letter was correct, she couldn't risk it. She would take the advice given. It could also bring her closer to him, bridge the distance that felt unfathomable at this point, and bring him back to her.

The truth was she was very concerned. She knew that she might even be overdue at this point. Without the prenatal care she needed, she was guessing, and when Loki was there with her, he was thinking too much.

Her belly was big and very active. Even in her large form, her son was running out of space. It was time for him to arrive. It was time for them to figure out how to be a family. Discover their son's identity and love him unconditionally no matter what. Even if Loki struggled to love her that way, they were almost to the finish line.

Lillian didn't know what part of the current light cycle Asgard was in. All she knew was it was nighttime on Earth. Where Loki might be at this moment was mysterious. She walked outside to the porch. The cabin was far away from peering eyes, she still hoped. Since the letter was dropped off without her knowing, it was unclear if she had possibly been seen.

Lillian had not wanted to call out for Heimdall unless necessary, and she had reserved it only for a moment like this. The letter was a sign, the advice risky and strange, but using her intuition, it seemed fitting. What else did she have but her gut?

"Heimdall, if you can hear us, send Loki," she quietly spoke into the night air.

A light flashed across the sky like a comet. Maybe she had been heard.

She went back inside, still anxious about being seen, closed the curtains, and made herself more mugwort tea. Lillian looked down at her belly and said to her baby, "hey you, I need a latte soon, don't tell any grandiose healers, but this tea tastes like dirt."

Heimdall had heard her, but instead of answering himself, having to explain where her partner was because he knew exactly where he was, he sent a message to Thor.

"Find Loki, bring him to Midgard."

That was all it took; Thor immediately left the court dining hall where he and Sif were currently laughing and recounting the stories they had told hundreds of times. Sif looked startled at his sudden departure, not understanding what could take him from her company. His dinner plate of roasted chicken and yams was left behind to grow cold.

As Loki exited the tavern, Thor followed behind him, still talking with a raised voice.

"Not so fast, brother. We are going together, you can be mad at me all you want, but you can't do this alone."

"Thor, you cannot come with me, under no circumstances."

"So, you are now a healer? Can you do this on your own? Brother, you accuse me of being daft, but now you act as though you have this under control. Is the child not, um, is the child not, like you?" Thor stammered in his words, clumsy.

He knew he was on the precipice of Loki rejecting his presence so much that they may have a physical altercation.

"What does it matter if my son is Jötunn or Aesir?" Loki's words were like embers.

They had not spoken about this. Loki's "adoption" from Jötunnheim had not been discussed amongst the brothers in depth. He had been talking to their parents.

"Thor, you cannot come with me because Lillian is no longer human."

He had said it. The words a curse thrown into the evening air.

"Brother, what do you mean, not human?"

Loki was careful, but he also was outraged. Perhaps he was saying too much to the wrong person whose loyalty was never in question, tied to their father's crown.

"If you must know, she had to be turned to give birth to our son. She had to be turned into a frost giant."

Everything was all out now. The echoes of his sentiments whipped around the tavern's exterior and through the forested thicket, it was housed.

"Brother, what have you and Lillian done?"

With that statement, a flash of light descended between the siblings, leaving Thor standing in the tavern view, watching his brother's form disappear.

Loki ran to the cabin; his legs couldn't carry him fast enough to Lillian. At that very time, a heavy snowstorm had descended, and waves of snow covered the ground, nearly erasing his footprints instantly as he sprinted up the winding path. His boots, too slick for the ice, almost slide across the wooden porch, almost into the glass windowpane. He recovered his balance and opened the door, taking one of the deepest breaths of his life.

In all the questioning he had been doing of himself, his purpose, and his relationship with Lillian, his son's life was never something short of a miracle to Loki. Having never pictured himself as a father, the image of his son was a wonder to him. He knew he would meet him soon, saying prayers in his head for his health. Loki imagined all his years, all the men and women he had slept with. The passion, the entanglement. He always saw Thor getting married and having children, not himself. The gods seemed to finally have a different plan for him, one in which he discovered his family through his and his son's truth.

His son had made it here, almost.

All they had gone through was to ensure he would be born safely. All they had sacrificed already, especially their relationship. Or at least Lillian's sacrifice contributed to Loki's confusion, his feelings of disgust for frost giants, for himself.

Loki opened the door, and snow blew in with him. He was practically covered in icicles in the short distance he ran after being dropped off by the force of the Bifrost. It was ironic, and it made Lillian laugh. She got out of the chair she was sitting in and walked quickly over to Loki with one of the towels she had collected in the living room, trying to keep up with mundane tasks like the laundry. She wordlessly dried him off.

His eyes were closed, appreciating every touch of her hands on his face, shoulders, and torso. Even through his cloak, he could feel her fingers tracing his body; it filled him with electricity.

"You should be sitting down, Lillian," he said, grabbing her hands and ending the ecstasy that had been building.

"What are you doing drying me off when I should be attending to you!" Loki spoke loudly, his seemingly small hands around her face, parting her lengthy hair, cradling her jaw with the meaty parts of his palms, as he looked deeply into her eyes.

He then placed his hands lower and found her belly. The ironwood forest rendered his ability to use his siður to communicate with his son, so he was reduced to using his heart.

He could feel it beating in his chest for both his son and Lillian.

It was like they were never apart; she was never turned into a frost giant. As he slipped his hands under her shirt, feeling his son, his hands wandered upward, feeling her breasts so swollen with milk, nourishment for his child, the new prince of Asgard. He was incredibly turned on.

He felt turned on by her, herself, and her frost-giant form.

Lillian noticed his cock was hard in his pants, tightly straining against the leather. Loki removed his cloak and other garments until he was only left in his flouncy white blouse, billowy sleeves, and black painted nails. His ample cock proudly escaped from beneath the hem of the shirt.

He brushed his lips against hers, and she responded by kissing him passionately, even if Loki was on his tippy toes. She held his face in her hands and interlaced her hands through his silky black locks. Loki kissed her neck and took off her shirt. Looking at her breasts fully in front of him, not half hidden under clothes, was shocking. He was lost for words as he placed his lips on one of her sensitive nipples, nipping and coursing his tongue across the aroused skin.

"Loki, how did you know we needed to make love before the baby could be born?" Lillian said breathlessly.

Loki stopped kissing her for a moment and was stupefied.

"I didn't know. I felt such a strong attraction to you when I walked through the door, but Thor told me you were already in labor!

Confused, Loki searched her face for more answers.

'Loki, I received a strange letter on the doorstep, it suggested that I had to follow Jötunn's custom, and we must finally become mates. We must make love as our Jötunn selves. It prepares the child to be a part of his ancestors. I think it will make us married in the eyes of the Jötunn. I know it's crazy. I don't know who could have left the note. But it must be true, Loki seeing you like this, feeling you."

He might have wished to stop if going further meant that he would have to change into his Jötunn self, but he felt his inhibitions pass over him, a wave in the ocean hitting the shore and then pulled back. He didn't feel compelled to stop his ministrations towards Lillian, the woman he loved in this era, in this time of his long and complicated life.

"I feel very attracted to you at this moment Lillian," Loki whispered.

"It is like something is pulling me towards you. Maybe it is as simple as," he paused, continuing to kiss her lips, "being so away from you," his tongue plunging into her mouth.

She replied, "in my human body, I think I would not want much to do with you. I would be ready to have this baby. Sex would not be on my mind," Lillian's words just audible to Loki's senses.

"Your Jötunn body is different," he said, touching her body all over, and removing the last of her clothes.

"You need me to change into my frost giant body. You need my cock in that form. I know. I know I can feel it surging through my body. Something is happening to me too."

With that, Loki concentrated. He remembered the locket Lyra had given him. Rummaging around the thick oak drawers in the living room, he found it. He knew that inside would be something to help him. He opened the locket, and immediately, he felt his body begin to shift. It was not like before, not like in the cave. This was more of a volcanic feeling. He felt as if the planet was changing his form for him, it didn't hurt, but it also didn't feel pleasant.

When he opened his eyes, his body was transformed. He was in his Jötunn form and was even more filled with desire. He looked down at his cock, and it was truly magnificent. He had not noticed before in the cave, mainly because it was entirely in Lillian's mouth most of the time while he was in his frost giant form.

"Are you sure this is okay for the baby Lilly," he said, walking over to her and taking her into his arms with a swift swoop like a cotton ball.

"Yes, I am sure," she closed her eyes while she spoke, feeling ethereal and grounded simultaneously. She longed for him, not just his cock, not just the claiming of her with it. She longed for their shared acknowledgment of their passion for one another and their commitment to whatever mystery brought them together.

They tumbled to the bed in a lavish display. Neither of them acting like proper frost giants, their feelings not incorporated into the ecosystem but coursing through their bodies. Getting Lillian on top of Loki took some finagling, even as Jötunn making love when you are nine months pregnant is no easy task.

Once she was on him, it was a decadent pursuit for her heat to find his cock. The essence of his being once again inside her created an avalanche. She was euphoric as her muscular body moved in time with his upward thrusts. His right hand held her hips steady, and his other had her full breasts, squeezing, intensifying their passion. Loki's cock was being held by her tight heat, much tighter than he remembered. His every movement was like a moon orbiting a planet, a gravitational inevitability. He could not be inside her enough.

When they finally orgasmed, they were at the center of the nine realms. Or traveled back in time before the creation of the universe. A stillness found both, so full and yet so quiet. They could feel their thoughts re-enter their minds.

The euphoria subsided, and they knew that labor would begin soon if all would go as they were told it would.

The snowstorm still bellowed outside, leaving meters and meters of snow surrounding the small cabin. If they wanted help from humans, they would be unlikely to get any. As for Thor assisting in the birth or any healers, even his mother, they both knew intuitively this was frost giant business, and they wanted to try and bring the baby into the world themselves, as scary as it seemed.

They lay in bed, both quiet, waiting for the baby to tell them what to do next. Loki held Lillian fiercely, his frost giant arms wrapped around her, Lillian's head tucked under his. He kissed her forehead and reveled in the last moments. He was still Loki, not yet a dad. He smiled as he nestled into Lillian's hair, his cerulean eyes dreaming. Then he knew. Lillian gently looked at him, turning to face him, but he already understood, he had become reattuned to Lilly and his son without his magic.

This was it.

On to Chapter 12

#loki fanfic #loki marvel #tom hiddleston #loki laufeyson #jotun loki #pregnancy #loki fluff #loki fandom #loki #thor #mcu #unplanned pregnancy #frost giant loki #avengers #loki fanfiction #loki odinson #loki smut #loki (marvel)#loki angst

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realcube · 4 years ago

Text

ARCADE

summary ★ she needs to get the action figure that's in the claw machine for her sister’s birthday, so saiki does her the favour of using his a telekinesis to win it...along with a few other favours.

trigger warning ★ gambling, god, swearing, fem!reader & reader has a younger sister

construction on the new arcade near pk academy had finally come to an end. the grand opening was today after school so of course, nendou suggested that they attend as a squad. usually, saiki tried to avoid getting roped into outings like this but for a change, he actually agreed without the need for any further prying. that's because the arcade was attached to a small cinema where they'd be premiering the latest action movie — based on the TV show adaptation of the game — 'Olfana's Story X-2'. as it turns out, a few months after saiki gave the game a shot, it became a craze and a massive hit among speed-runners. so from it's new-found popularity, they developed a TV show series which inevitably flopped so now they have created a movie. only the most elite people among the gaming community were allow to see it before the official release date and they all said it was incredible; but there was not a doubt in saiki's mind that they were being paid to sing it's praise. a crappy game turned into a crappy show, now adapted into a movie was sure to be crappy. so you may be wondering why he even wanted to view the movie if he was set on it being awful. Well, there are two simple answers; curiosity and the mystery. since it was so exclusive, he had yet to overhear spoilers through his telekinesis and he now had a germanium ring in his possession so he could watch the movie in peace. also, having played the game but not seen the show, he was curious to see how bad the movie is going to be and perhaps he'd be able to get a good laugh out of it. but he made the mistake of mentioning his plan to see the movie which screened a few hours after the opening of the arcade, as now kuboyasu, nendou and kaidou were all going to see the movie along with him. In theory, it shouldn't be a problem since he'll have his germanium ring on but in practise, the world seems to be against saiki so one of his friends will probably end up stealing his popcorn or chatting throughout the entire movie. he'll just have to wait and see. kaidou and nendou did not even stop to take breaths as they raced on about how excited they were while they were all walking to the arcade. "i'm sure the movie is going to be sick!" kaidou exclaimed, followed by rapid head nods from nendou as he replied, "yup! And i can't wait to see what sort of games they have!" saiki was a bit excited himself but he didn't care to show it like the others did. but when he saw the vaporwave building covered with bright neon lights come into view, his lips curled into a small smile. though it was short-lived as he noticed the massive queue to get in; it appeared as though they weren't the only ones who had the idea to visit the arcade after school as he noticed many familiar faces standing in line, amongst crowds of others. all of their cheery auras dissipated for a few moments until kuboyasu perked up, approaching the doors to the arcade with a smug smirk, cutting in front of everyone in the line and gesturing for the boys to follow him, "don't worry about the queue, guys. follow me." nendou followed without any further questions but saiki and kaidou were a bit apprehensive. all three of them watched as kuboyasu stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the guard by one of the doors, muttering something in the man's ear, causing him to sweatdrop and hesitantly open the door with a shaky smile; allowing all four of them inside. "woah, that was awesome, aren!" kaidou yelled, not only out of awe but so he could be heard over all the cheering, laughing and game noises from inside the arcade. "yeah, that was so cool! but what did you say to that guy? he looked freaked out!" nendou inquired, surprising saiki with his actually intelligent observation. kuboyasu's hand found it's way behind his neck, rubbing it awkwardly as he chuckled, "oh, nothing! it's not important-- hey! how about you guys start playing your games and i'll go get the tickets we reserved, yeah?" "yeah!" kaidou and nendou cheered in unison, high-fiving the purple-haired boy before the all ran off in different directions, leaving saiki standing alone at the entrance. he fidgeted with his germanium ring, contemplating taking it off as he stared at kuboyasu; he really wanted to know what the teen boy could've said that'd incite such fear into a grown man, but he decided against it — merrily making his way towards the claw machines, leaving kuboyasu's secrets alone. ★★★★★★★★★★ "shit." he cursed under his breath as he watched the cyborg cider man plushie that he's been trying to win — for yuuta — for half an hour straight slip out of his grasp once again. 'these things are rigged. and what's the point in having psychic superpowers if i can't use them.' he thought to himself but had to quickly shake off the idea, as there was no way he could risk using his powers in such a crowded place, especially for a plush that wasn't even for himself but rather for an annoying kid. he sighed, slipping another coin into the slot and about to find the right state of mind until he heard a loud "fuck!" from in front of him. his head jerked up, scanning the area for the source of the noise until his eyes landed on you. the claw machines were lined up, back-to-back, and playing on the machine diagonal from him was a girl with enchanting (e/c) eyes which contrasted greatly with her disheartened expression as she stared at the box. the only emotion she wore was sadness as she stared at the machine, so out of curiosity, saiki slipped off his ring in order to read her thoughts; feeling no guilt in listening to the affairs of a complete stranger. 'c'mon, stupid claw machine, i need this!' your silky yet whiny voice rung through his mind, 'what's she gonna think about me tomorrow when i tell her that i couldn't get her the gift she's wanted? she's gonna hate me- even more than she already does. and now i've spent all my money on this silly game so i can't even try get her a crappy gift with the little money i had. Wow, (y/n), you're the worst big sister in existence.' saiki cocked his head to the side, peering through the glass of the machines to see the contents of the claw machine you were standing in front of and when he saw the limited edition, silver cyborg cider man action figure sitting on a pedestal — almost as if it was taunting the poor girl — he finally connected the dots. your hand dug through your pockets until you found the smooth metal surface of your final coin, 'just once more try. if i win her this action figure, maybe she'll finally respect me as her big sister! and this toy will surely make her more happy than any gift mom could've possibly thought of. i'll make her sixth birthday one to remember!' the dejected look on your face slow lifted into a determined one, but it wasn't very convincing as saiki — and anyone else — could see the worry and shame in your eyes as you dropped your last coin into the slot of the machine, giving you one more chance to redeem yourself and claim the title of 'best big sister in the world'. saiki watched you maneuver the claw of the machine with bated breath, admiring how your pretty nose crinkled and your tongue poked out from the corners of your perfectly glossed lips in concentration — 'ew, stop being a simp, kusuo.' he mentally rebuked himself before engaging with your scene one again. your fist slammed down against the big red button, followed by the claw opening and lowering over the box of the cyborg cider man action figure, slowly closing it's jaws around the box and grasping it perfectly, resulting in a slight gasp to escape your throat as your lips pulled into a grin. the claw kept it's grip in the toy as it lifted up, slowly making it's way over the hole where it would drop the action figure, straight into your possession. that is, if the grip didn't falter hence allowing the toy to fall down, off it's pedestal and onto the bottom of the compartment to join the rest of the more average action figures. "fuck!" you screamed in an almost identical way to which you did earlier, expect this one held more pain. 'this can't be happening; is this the third year in a row that i'm going to show up to my little sister's birthday party empty-handed?' you thought, your bottom lips quivering so you quickly bit down on it, staring at the damned toy before turning on your heels, shuffling away from the game with your head hung low, the thoughts which cried in your head about how much you budgeted and how hard you worked made saiki's heart sink. 'maybe i could take out a mortga--' your thoughts were abruptly cut off when you heard the noise of something falling behind you. whipping your head around to see what happened, you exhaled a sigh of relief upon seeing nothing out of the ordinary. however, you caught a glimpse of inside the machine which you had been cursing at and realised that the toy wasn't with the packaging peanuts where you left it, as if it magically disappeared in the few seconds you had averted your gaze. creeping up to it, your gaze darted around in search of anyone who might've won it in less than 5 seconds but that was unlikely. now that you were closer, you peered through the glass once more to confirm that the toy was in fact missing and you were right. recalling the noise of falling you heard just before you turned around, you dropped to your knees and lifted the flap to the compartment which held the good that people would win from the machine. you almost screamed with delight and shock when you laid eyes on the limited edition, cyborg cider man action figure that was tucked snugly inside. yanking it out, you pressed it to your chest and the tears you were choking back finally came running down your cheeks, but now they were from joy. "thank you, god." you whispered to yourself, making saiki chuckle from his spot at the claw machine which he hadn't moved from. he wasn't god — nor was he friends with god — but he didn't mind not being able to take the credit for his kind actions of using his psychokinesis to drop the box into the hole for you. honestly, he found that seeing you happy, sitting on the floor with brightest beam gracing your features along with your now cheerful thoughts in his head, was enough of a reward for him anyway. also, he appreciated how you didn't question how the box ended up in the hole and instead you just deemed it a miracle as you were too overjoyed to use logic; that sort of thinking saved saiki a lot of trouble. 'i should probably go home and wrap this.' your internal monologue had now calmed down slightly as you were now able to produce a thought that wasn't just a squeal of delight, 'hm, maybe once i am done i could come back and see the new movie that's premiering-- but i've not got much money left so i guess i shouldn't get ahead of myself.' you hummed, picking up the box along with yourself, dusting yourself off before heading towards the exit. saiki must've been staring for a tad too long though as you caught his gaze while brushing off your clothes. he cringed, instinctively darting his eyes away so you didn't think he was an ogling creep but the fact he appeared defensive probably didn't help. so he fully expected you to frown or cast him a dirty look, judging him for his actions but to his surprise, you simply chuckled. waving at the pink-haired boy before strolling off with the box under your arm. 'he seems cool. where i can get clips like those?' why were you thoughts making him blush like an idiot? time to put the germanium ring back on. ★★★★★★★★★★ as it turns out, nendou is surprisingly good at poker. he figured this out after he stumbled across the casino section of the arcade, and since he looks way older than seventeen, nobody questions it when he took a seat at one of the slot machines, under the impression that it was a fancy, old-timey arcade game. he was then offered a round of poker with some old dude with way too many gold teeth and nendou ended up taking the poor, stubborn guy's entire fortune. god-knows how many games with how-many people later, nendou was sitting on stacks of cash at a round table with a tired dealer, and two grown men — one crying into the shoulder of his arm-candy and the other weeping into the sleeve of his suit — while the three boys who had came to give him his ticket stood by, all wearing matching confused expressions. "uh, nendou." kuboyasu tapped his friend on the shoulder, waving the ticket in front of his face, "the movie is gonna start soon, we should start heading over there right now so we can buy snacks and get good seats." nendou raised an eyebrow, puzzled until he recalled that he was supposed to watch a movie today, "oh, that sounds cool and all but i'm having a lot of fun right here." he smiled, motioning to the large casino area. kuboyasu chuckled awkwardly, backing away from nendou slightly as he turned on his heels, ushering the two other boys away, "alright, well, have fun, nendou! don't stay out too late!" nendou sung an okay in response, sliding a kaidou some cash for the extortionate theatre snacks before he was rushed away by kuboyasu, the purple-haried boy not wanting to spend anymore time in the casino than needed. "if nendou isn't joining us for the movie then we have a spare ticket. here, saiki, you should have it!" "why me?" "uh, because you said you saw reita earlier. so if you see him again maybe you could offer him the spare ticket." 'absolutely not.' was vocalised as "sure." by saiki as he took the ticket from kuboyasu's outstretched hand, fiddling with it before stuffing it into his pocket along with his own ticket. "what i said to nendou was kinda an exaggeration" aren mused, glancing at his watch before looking up at his two pals, "we still have some time left before the movie starts. i'm gonna go handle some business — you two have fun, and try find reita!" kuboyasu said before pivoting on his heels in the direction of the staff only closet. the only thing saiki could think to do during this free-time was escape kaidou's pestering to play dance dance revolution — since saiki didn't want to dance, dance or revolute, he darted outside as soon as kuboyasu left, leaving kaidou alone and confused in the middle of the arcade. 'finally, fresh air.' saiki inhaled, filling his lungs with the cool air rather than the stuffy, arcade oxygen. scanning the surrounding area, his eyes caught a glimpse of a figure standing by the ATM, which he immediately recognised to be that of the girl he had helped earlier. so naturally, he flicked of his ring to figure out the reasoning behind the awkward look on her face. 'do i really want to withdraw money to see some stupid movie? i mean, i could leave that money to accumulate and buy something nicer later.' without thinking, saiki hummed in agreement with your thoughts as he had been in your position many times before. 'but then again, i should treat myself! when was the last time i saw a movie that wasn't pirated? hmm..' your indecisive thoughts matched perfectly with your conflicted expression as you stared through furrowed brows at the screen of the ATM. a soft breeze passed, followed by something light smacking against you face. you winced slightly, your hand snapping your cheek and grabbing at whatever it was; just by the texture, you could tell it was paper. holding it in front of you, upon further inspection you realised that the mysterious sheet that had flew into your possession was in fact a ticket to tonight's showing of 'Olfana's Story X-2' row G, seat 9. you double, triple checked it out of fear that this may be a cruel prank but no, this was completely real! you cheered, bouncing up and down and away from the ATM since you no longer needed it's services as god had blew the desired item straight into your hands — or your face, rather. either way though, you were over the moon, clutching the ticket to your chest and basking in your second miracle of the day. unbeknownst to you, saiki's smile was almost as wide as your own. you thanked god for your relief and saiki had no problem with that; seeing your little happy dance and squeals with your free ticket was enough for him. but actually, perhaps he might benefit himself after all, since the ticket he had given you previous belonged to nendou. meaning that saiki was seated at row G, seat 10; right beside you. ★★★★★★★★★★ saiki forgot to send a few notes flying your way in the wind, so you walked into the theatre and took your seat, completely snackless since you couldn't afford the exorbitant prices that they sold food for at the cinema. but perhaps that wasn't all bad as it revealed the possibility for saiki to offer you some of his popcorn as a conversation-starter, as he's usually not too good at socialising with new people — forget starting a conversation. however, he didn't need to work up any sort of courage to talk to you as the first thing you did when you plopped down in your seat beside him was turn to him and chirp, "oh, you're the guy i saw at the claw machines earlier! i love your clip thingies." your buoyant-adrenaline allowing your to be more bold than usual. the movie had yet to start, low murmurs of chatter coming from across the theatre as the trailers played in the background, "yes. and thanks." 'good grief, curse myself for not being more talkative. she probably thinks i'm dull now. perhaps i should channel my inner nendou..if i have one.' instead of ending the conversation right there like he assumed you would, you continued talking and saiki was..glad? why did he want to interact with you so much? he spends most of his days trying to avoid interacting with people; why were you any different? "no problem- also, did you get what you were playing for?" you inquired, tapping your lip in genuine curiosity. his ring remained on his finger, despite the fact he wanted to know what you thought about him, he didn't want to invade your privacy any more than he already has. "no. did you?" "yeah, i did, actually!" you chirped, not noticing the smirk creeping onto saiki's lips as you were too engulfed in your memories, "i thought those games were rigged but maybe they're not 'cause i managed to win this super special action figure that my sister has been on the top of my sister's wishlist for like- forever! and her birthday is tomorrow so i'll be a--" you cut yourself off, crinkling your nose in embarrassment, "sorry, i'm over-sharing, aren't i?" your enthusiasm made his heart flutter in a way he wasn't used to, if you didn't know any better, he would have thought he was having a medical emergency. his eyes widened slightly as you halted in your speech, "no, you're fine." he said, the uncharacteristic softness in his voice catching the attention of his two pals sitting on the other side of him. you shook off his comment, "i mean, i'm telling you my life story and i don't even know your name." you said, laughing sheepishly at the reality of the reality of the situation.

“saiki kusuo.” he blurted out without a second thought.

you blinked a few times, shocked that he’d give his details away so easily as you somewhat expected him to be more of a reserved type of guy but evidently, you were wrong. “uh, i’m (l/n) (y/n).” you choked, biting down on your bottom lip slightly before continuing you story as he seemed to wait expectantly, “as i was saying, today’s just been the best day ever! everything has been going so well, i’m a bit scared as to what is going to happen when it hits midnight.”

saiki nodded along, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth before remembering his plan, “oh- would you like some?” he asked, offering you some popcorn from his bucket. unfortunately, the plan was a last-minute thing so he had only bought a small, but he still wasn’t opposed to sharing.

you shook your head, trying to grin foolishly wide at his kind offer, “no thank you.”

saiki nodded, about to open his mouth to reply until the blaring music from the beginning of the movie started, putting a swift end to your conversation — despite the fact saiki would much rather talk to you than watch the crappy movie — out of theatre etiquette.

★★★★★★★★★★

it was worse than you or saiki could’ve ever imagined.

it was painfully trying not to burst out laughing right in middle of it or lean over and giggle in each other’s ear at the silly dialog but out of respect for the other people in the cinema, you both stayed silent and just cast each other occasional knowing glances whenever something cringey happened on screen.

you both let out audible sighs of relief with the credits began to roll, accompanied by a slow indie song. “that was..something.” you mumbled, grabbing your purse and jumping to your feet, wanting to exit the building as soon as possible and hopefully leave your memories of the movie behind you.

“definitely.” he snickered, absently flicking the side of his empty popcorn bucket, “i stopped paying attention once i finished my popcorn.” it felt weird to vocalise — or rather, telepathically communicate — the comments he’d usually keep to himself; why did he feel so comfortable speaking to someone he only just met?

he began gathering his things, stuffing all of his rubbish in the bucket so he could dispose of it all at once. his mind was fixated on crappiness of the movie and how a five-year-old could’ve shot a much better film, until you grabbed his attention by calling out his name, followed by a question which made him blood run cold.

“before i go, it gotta ask’ how’d you do it? or more importantly, why’d you do it?”

he blinked several times before putting on his best bewildered expression, with the idea that maybe if he played dumb, he could gaslight you into thinking that it never happened or that he had nothing to do with it. “what?”

“oh, don’t give me that!” you scoffed, narrowing your eyes at the boy, “i’m not stupid. every time something good happened to me, you were nearby. i’ve connected the dots so fess up. why did you do all those nice things for me? was it out of pity or are you that nice to everyone?”

“i’m that nice to everyone.”

“i don’t believe you.” you snapped, fixing your tone when you remembered that even though he was lying to you, he still helped you get the present for you sister and gave you his spare ticket. “i don’t care if you’re not gonna give me a straight answer, but at least let me make it up to you.”

he huffed, an unimpressed look covering his features before you even proposed your idea. there was really nothing he could possibly need from you. what were you going to give him that he wasn’t capable of obtaining on his own? so he frowned, ready to decline your offer.

“i saw that you bought one of those jelly pots from the snack stand and i actually work at a little café in the town, so i might be able to get you few things for free or discounted?”

“yes.” wait, that wasn’t refusal.

“great!” you chirped, glad that you wouldn’t have to pry further, “does later this week sounds good? we could meet up here then i can walk you to the café- or i could give you my number and we can arrange a date later?”

“sure.” saiki said without thinking once again.

but it wasn’t as though he regretted it when you slipped the piece of paper you had scribbled your number onto, into the front pocket of his shirt, tapping it with a smile. “alright! i’ll see you later then- unless you want to walk home with me?” you fidgeted with your fingers slightly, instantly regretting what you just came out with. not because you didn’t want to walk with him, but due to the fact you highly doubted he was going so say accept so you mentally prepared for the impact of his harsh rejection.

“sure.”

★★★★★★★★★★

BONUS

saiki ended up walking home with some girl he met at the theatre so that left kuboyasu and kaidou to fetch nendou once the film finished. they both searched the casino area for almost half an hour but neither of them had any luck finding nendou. that was, until kuboyasu had to take a step outside to escape the casino as he noticed an old friend of his playing on the slot machines, and he found nendou crouched by the garbage cans, on his phone.

“nendou! we’ve been looking all over for you- why are you out here by the trash? and what happened to all your money?!”

nendou chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with his spare hand, “fun story actually. i was doing so well and i was on my way to becoming a millionaire until these schoolgirls came marching in and absolutely slaughtered me! it was so embarrassing and the only way i could escape them was by running away so i hid back here.”

kuboyasu’s aura just screamed ‘disappointed but not surprised’, “so you’re telling me that you lost millions to highschool girls?”

“they might’ve been middle-schoolers, i’m not too sure. i didn’t get a very good look at ‘em but they were all wearing creepy red uniforms.”

all kuboyasu could do was massage his temples to ease his headache at the stupidity of his friends, “so you lost all your money to school girls in creepy red uniforms?” he repeated aloud, just to make sure he was hearing things correctly.

“yes. but not all my money.” he said, pulling out his wallet and grandly opening it to reveal a few notes and a button, “i��ve still got enough to spend on ramen with my bros!”

#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #saiki headcanons #saiki kusuo no psi nan #saiki no psi nan #saiki k x reader #saiki x reader #kusou saiki #saiki imagines #kusuo x reader #kusuo saiki x reader #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki k headcanons #psychic kusuo #kusuo saiki

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joontopia · 4 years ago

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Find You Now | KSJ Oneshot - Preview

pairing: kim seokjin x female reader

genre: smut, angst, dashes of fluff

au: ex childhood friends to lovers, college drop out

rating: explicit, nsfw, 18+

current word count: 7K and growing

preview word count: 1.5K (unedited)

fic warnings: TBD

preview warnings: slight angst, slight pining

summary: It’s been 4 years since the last time Seokjin has seen you. Four long years since he has seen your face, since he’s heard your voice, since he left you behind in your small hometown to find himself. But the only thing he found was how empty his life was without you. Following the downfall of his most recent relationship and the news of his brother’s engagement, Seokjin’s back home looking to fix the mistakes he tried to escape. To fix the friendship he lost, the pain he caused, and to find his happiness again. If only he could find you now.

This is a part of the Not A Phase Collab hosted by @suhdays - Inspired by the song Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard

Release Date: By Monday May 31st, 2021

It’s just past midnight as Jin pulls into his mom’s driveway, softly closing every door of his car as he gets out and retrieves his suitcase from the trunk. He turns slowly, taking in the stillness and quiet of the street he grew up on, stopping the moment his eyes fall on your house across the road. Not much has changed about your house, save for the vacancy of your car. Your typical parking spot in your parent’s driveway is empty, leaving Jin to wonder if you’re not home or if your father finally cleaned out the other half of the garage, allowing you to park inside.

From the faint illuminance of the street lights, he’s able to see the hibiscus bushes that line the outside of your home. The flowers not yet in bloom due to the time of year. His eyes shift over to the cherry blossom tree at the corner of your yard, sight trailing up its growth until his gaze ends at the highest point. The top of the tree still reaches just above your bedroom window on the second floor. Jin’s lips twitch up into a smile as a memory surfaces in his mind.

6 years earlier

“It was intentional. I’m telling you!” You rant, pouting as you stab your spoon into the cup of ice cream in Jin’s hand.

You’re sitting next to each other outside of the local ice cream shop, sharing two big scoops of chocolate and strawberry that had cost Jin the last of his weekly allowance. You had begged him to take you out for a treat, having just endured one of the most awkward conversations with your parents, promising him that he could choose the flavor as a form of sweet talk to get him to agree. He ended up getting a scoop each of both you and his favorites, his heart fluttering at the sight of your bright smile when he joined you outside on the park bench. The moment Jin handed you a spoon, you immediately dived in, a mixture of the two flavors disappearing into your mouth in a flash. A subtle hum of satisfaction slips past your lips from the taste. Jin shakes his head as he smiles, dipping his own spoon in for a scoop. “Chocolate and Strawberry is a match made in heaven. Two favors that go together perfectly. Like best friends, just like us,” you would say each time Jin asked you about your favorite indulgence.

You remove the spoon from your mouth, waving it around in the air as you share with Jin the scarring conversation with your parents that led to this impromptu outing. They finally decided it was time you had ‘the talk.’ If the topic at hand wasn’t bad enough, your dad even shared with you how he used to sneak out his childhood bedroom, your current bedroom, to meet up with your mom. Information that you stated you’d be better off never knowing.

“Did you know there used to be a big oak tree there? Branches so thick, dad brags about how easily they held his weight as he climbed down them,” you grumble. Jin’s eyes are on you, nodding along to your story as he listens. His attention is slightly distracted the moment he feels your hand cover his causing the both of you to hold the ice cream bowl together as you try to steady it, scooping up a generous portion of the treat with your spoon. The subtle touch redirects his mind from your words to his surroundings, suddenly aware of how closely you two were sitting next to each other on the bench.

It’s not unusual for the two of you to be this close to each other, having known one another since you were in diapers. But now at the age of 16, Jin can only blame it on teenage hormones. What else would explain his rise in blood pressure being this close to his best friend? Surely not the intoxicating scent of your perfume. The one he quickly recognizes as the very brand he got you for your birthday last year. Nor the change in how you do your makeup, the natural tones and faux bare minimum style accentuating your facial features. Allowing your natural beauty to shine.

Jin observes as you bring the plastic utensil up to your mouth again, turning the spoon upside down at the last second before placing it on your tongue, your glossed, plush lips closing before pulling the now clean spoon from between them. He watches as the tip of your tongue peeks out, swiping at a rogue drop of melted chocolate ice cream on your bottom lip and he’s momentarily mesmerized. Lost in wonderment at how his favorite flavor would taste from your lips. He’s brought back to reality from a painful thump on his forehead, the result from where you flicked him with your fingers.

“Yah! Are you even listening?” you scold him, doing a terrible job at stifling your giggle from the pout that forms on Jin’s lips as he rubs his wound. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“What’s the big deal? I thought you liked the Cherry Blossom tree,” Jin asks, ears turning red as he looks away from you. Scooping a hefty amount of ice cream into his own mouth to avoid answering the second part of your question. You roll your eyes at him and continue in your rant. Jin quietly lets out a small sigh of relief at you letting his obvious avoidance go.

“I did like it. LOVED it even. My dad said he had the old oak tree removed and the new tree planted shortly after learning I was going to be a girl. But now I just see it as a traitor tree. With branches not thick enough to let me sneak out.” You’re back to pouting, Jin catching the down turn of your lips from his peripherals. How badly he wants to kiss that frown away, the sudden urge to see you smile filling his thoughts.

He hadn’t realized he turned towards you, fully facing you with his spoon in his mouth until you were speaking to him through a fit of giggles, the sound of your amusement like music to his ears. “What are you thinking about, Jinnie?”

Jin is at a loss of words the moment his gaze meets yours. Your eyes full of genuine curiosity as you look up at him, a soft smile one your lips as you wait for him to answer. A slight breeze picks up, causing loose strands of your hair to blow into your face. On instinct, Jin reaches with his free hand, moving your hair back and tucking it behind your ear. Not missing your tiny gasp as your cheeks turn a soft pink from the intimate action. “Have you always been this beautiful?” he thinks to himself as he lets his fingers linger on your cheek. Unsure if it’s just wishful thinking, he swears your face is getting closer to his. Not able to tell if it was from him leaning in or you or both. The moment is suddenly broken by the sound of a car horn blaring from somewhere behind you, causing the two of you to jump slightly back from each other as Jin drops his hand from your face. Clearing his throat, Jin spoons another helping of ice cream into his mouth before passing the bowl towards you.

“Well,” he says, breaking the tension between you two as you take the ice cream from him, “Guess we’ll just have to think of another way for you to sneak out then.”

The smile you award him knocks the breath right out of lunges. The beauty of your happy expression being the most wonderful thing Jin has seen all day. A similar smile reactively graces his face, telling himself then and there that he wants to only ever make you look at him that way all the time.

A somber feeling takes over Jin as he brings himself out of his memory. Turning back towards his house, he walks up to the front door, quietly turning the key and going inside. Locking the door behind him, he carries his suitcase up the stairs, his head turned down the whole way to his old bedroom. He hadn’t kept his promise to himself, so easily breaking it only two years after making it. Entering his room, Jin drops his suitcase on the ground and closes his door. Falling onto his bed, he hopes that once he is able to find you, you will grant him the mercy and honor for him to redeem himself. Allowing him to see that beautiful smile once again.

#btscreatorscorner #bangtanuniversity #bangtanarmynet #bangtaninn #kwritersworldnet #btswritingcafe #hyunglinenetwork #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts smut #seokjin angst #seokjin smut #seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader #jin fanfic

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multimetaverse · 3 years ago

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HSMTMTS 2x12 Review

Second Chances was a lacklustre finale for an uneven season. Let’s dig in!

Earlier this week I re-watched S1 in preparation for the S2 finale and the contrast between the two seasons is jarring. In almost every way S2 has been worse and after seeing this finale I’m less optimistic that Tim will be able to fix the long list of things that have gone wrong. Tim has said in some of his interviews today that pretty much all of S2 was written before the pandemic and that they didn’t have to do as much re-writing as people might think due to the stringent safety measures Disney put in place. Of course, that removes an excuse for the bad writing we’ve seen so much of this season as according to Tim what we saw of S2 is largely what he envisioned minus big crowds and background dancers.

Across his many interviews today, the one consistent point is that Tim does not have any real plans for future seasons; things like Ricky’s endgame he hasn’t decided on and he can’t even guarantee the summer season the finale sets up due to the weather in Salt Lake. I do think a S3 is an almost certainty given the show’s popularity but I’ll take Tim at his word that he truly doesn’t know if they’ll be renewed since it seems to be a new Disney tradition to wait until seasons are done airing before making a renewal decision (the same thing happened for the popular and well received Mighty Ducks: Game Changers which got a silent renewal only after all of S1 aired). That being said as poor of a season finale as Second Chances is it is also a terrible potential series finale. In large part it goes back to his lack of planning, he wants to keep all options open but in doing so Tim is crippling the show’s ability to deliver any pay offs or tie up loose ends.

The one mostly well done plot line this season was Portwell which got a happy ending tonight as they canoned. The only good thing about the big brother angst was that it was so insane that it had to be addressed and sure enough it was and Gina got her first kiss with a guy she really liked. If Tim is to be believed the reason we didn’t get an on screen Portwell kiss was not because of their age difference or covid concerns but because he felt that everyone’s first kiss was different so he wanted it off screen so viewers could fill in the blanks themselves. Tim’s line of reasoning is profoundly stupid. Imagine if they had Jamie show up and he and Gina talked off screen and Tim tried to claim that because everyone has a different relationship with their own siblings that he wanted the audience to fill in the blanks as to how their conversation went!

Still we saw great character development on Gina and EJ’s part as both really grew from the people they were in S1. As Tim noted, EJ bringing Gina back in 1x10 was kind of the set up for this story line. The only thing missing was a brief Portwell scene sometime in eps 2x01-2x04 to set them up. The consistent development they got from 2x05-2x12 is unlike any other ship on the show; only Rini exceeds their development.

Unfortunately I don’t think that will last in S3 because Tim will always favour Ricky over EJ and if he wants to do Rina he’ll dispose of Portwell before doing so. I was surprised that they never bothered to have Ricky and Gina have a conversation about Gina’s S1 confession. It was a huge mistake to have Gina pine over Ricky for half the season and it was no surprise that Gina’s story line got instantly better once she stopped interacting with Ricky. Tim has made clear in interviews that he’s still interested in the possibility of Rina which makes his poor writing of them even more bizarre. What conclusions are the audience supposed to draw from the Rina story line this season? That Ricky never cared that much about Gina? That it’s totally fine for the show if they don’t interact for 6 eps in a row? That Gina has moved on? I’ve said before that a wiser man than Tim would recognize that doing both Portwell and Rina will do tremendous damage to the show and he should pick one and not do the other. Of course he’s not that smart but it is wild how he’s accidentally written their story line to make for a perfect end to Rina.

Second Chances was great and is the only part of the finale that would have been well suited to being part of a potential series finale.

The Rini closure was a sad inverse of their S1 opening night confession. They’ve fallen so far from being the it couple of the series and I fear Tim doesn’t actually know what to do with them now. He really needs to decide if he’s tearing down that treehouse for real.

The less said about the Valentine’s chocolates the better but at least Gina and Nini are cool again and Nini can explore her budding music career with Jamie’s help. Tim repeatedly said in interviews that the scripts about Nini’s music career were all written before Driver’s License came out and I think he understands that the audience is just going to see the show as copying from Olivia’s life.

The wildcats just deciding to drop out of the Menkies was a lame cop out. Tim has said he always meant for that to happen though they were originally going to compete at the Menkies then drop out (presumably that’s where we would have heard Lily singing Home). Somebody should have mentioned the $50 000 prize money which the East High theatre department could surely use after Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara burned it down (remember that story line that had no consequences?). And that NYU scholarship could have been life changing for one of them and yet no one even brought it up once this season.

I did like the twist that it was EJ and his dad who got Mazzara into Caltech. He’d be a fool not to take it but I’m glad he confessed to Miss Jenn. She’s had a really rough season and I hope she redeems herself in S3.

Howie was acting so weird tonight and last ep that I have a hard time believing he was really so awed by Kourtney’s talent rather than feeling guilty for helping to steal the harness. The harness is another useless plot device; there are no consequences for Lily stealing it, she’s not caught, East High pulls off another version of the transformation off screen, and then East High withdraws from the Menkies anyways. Doubtless the harness will eventually come up to serve Rily angst.

At least Lily was straightforward, I’ll give her that. She has such an odd way of speaking, almost child like. As awful as it is there is potential for a forbidden/secret romance story line with Rily. It really does not speak well to Ricky’s character that he’s so easily fallen for Lily’s act when he has no reason to trust her and she never apologized for making fun of Big Red during the auditions or making Ashlyn feel insecure during the dance off.

The one way in which S2 was drastically better to S1 was in regards to the Seblos story line. Clearly Joe being bumped up to regular made a big difference. We got the first same-sex kiss between two boys and the first love song sung by one boy to another in Disney history and that is a legacy to be proud of. Of course, there was still some Disney censorship such as Carlos and Seblos being unable to use the word gay in the same ep that focused on Carlos singing In a Heartbeat to Seb.

S1 of HSMTMTS had a clear direction, the wildcats would have to try and come together to stage High School Musical and Ricky and Nini would have to decide if they still had a future together while Gina and EJ had to work on being better versions of themselves. It was simple sure but it worked very well. There was a lot of heart but also a lot of humor and the show never took itself too seriously. What has S2 had? Beauty and the Beast was hardly the main focus of the cast or the writers and the central couple that S1 was built around is now broken up either for a long time or for good. There was a lot less of the meta moments that jokes that made S1 such a hit, for far too many eps this season the show took itself way too seriously. Hell even the lighting this season was darker than in S1.

Olivia Rodrigo’s team had complained in a recent article that Olivia wouldn’t be able to potentially tour until fall 2022 due to her contractual commitments which is a sign that they think a S3 is very likely though I wonder how late S3 filming would have to start to keep her occupied until late 2022. There’s no confirmation of this but I thought it might be worth keeping an eye on; a post on r/hsmtmts by someone who claims to have a source working on production says that the plan is for S3 to be a summer theatre camp possibly with Camp Rock renditions and the plan for S4 is to jump 6 months ahead to the final semester of senior year and end with Ricky, Nini, Big Red, and Kourtney graduating from East High. They also say that part of the delay in the S3 announcement is a conflict between Tim and Disney executives. Tim wants to move production to LA and film on sets as it’s easier and cheaper while the Disney execs still want some on location shooting in Salt Lake. Again this is all unconfirmed but if it pans out it will represent a major shift in the series.

Regardless if Tim wants the show to remain successful he needs start planning out what he wants to happen. He should not assume he’s getting more than 4 seasons. If the series gets a S3 but then is suddenly cancelled then how would he want all the main story lines to wrap up? And if they make it to S4 where does he see it ending? The graduation of the current juniors is a logical series ending point but if Tim wants to do something different he needs to start thinking of that now. I can’t say I’m excited anymore for S3 but I do really hope that Tim and his writers can turn things around and that will only happen if they recognize what they did wrong and learn from their mistakes.

Until next season Wildcats

#HSMTMTS #Portwell #Rini #Gina Porter #EJ Caswell #Ricky Bowen #Nini Salazar-Roberts #Kourtney Greene #lily #HSMTMTS Reviews

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jinnora · 4 years ago

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i think i have figured out why people like atla more than korra: atla provides a clearer version of emotional payback than korra does.

whenever people engage with media, they are agreeing to do the emotional work of getting to know characters, following the plot, learning about the world/lore, and understanding themes. in response, the audience expects some kind of emotional payback for the work they’ve done. this can take shape in many forms, but the ones we see most prominently (speaking from a western media standpoint) is the defeat of the villain/success of the protagonist.

atla at its core is a protagonist-beats-villain story. even though there are both good sides and bad sides to every element, who is good and who is bad remains very clear throughout the show. and before you raise a point about zuko’s redemption arc, i’d like to remind you that azula’s lack of redemption makes this show cut and dry on who is good and bad. if azula was able to be redeemed without helping the good guys ever, we’d have a more complex understanding of goodness and badness. azula being cast aside is necessary to keep the dichotomy stable, so there’s always a version of who-zuko-could-have-became out there who doesn’t get redeemed.

and from this, we get a massive emotional payback in the final battles. seeing aang beat ozai not through force, but through taking his bending is exactly what he needed to do to both succeed as the avatar and as the last piece of an otherwise destroyed culture. the final agni kai also provides emotional payback by completing zuko’s arc (the scar parallels him to aang; katara healing it resolves their first point of conflict) and katara’s (letting her fight someone not for vengence, but to stop an evil that is currently existing). toph and sokka’s arcs are similarly closed when toph finally is able to be vulnerable enough to need help and when sokka see someone he loves return from battle. so, at the end, the audience feels at peace. we did the work to feel good and now we feel good.

korra, on the other hand, is a completely different show because the point of it is that you can’t just defeat badness. whereas aang had one great evil to defeat, korra must battle a new villain every season. of course, this could provide emotional payoff, but just in smaller, more constant quantities (1 per season vs. avatar’s one per show). why it doesn’t is because 1) korra’s existence creates her enemies and 2) her enemies are extremists, but often not 100% wrong.

the equalists are entirely wrong in their approach to bring equality and their leader is vengeful liar, but their desire for equality isn’t necessarily bad. they want to bring balance just like korra, but their ways of doing so actually bring more division and chaos. the interesting part is that korra's presence initially amplifies conflict instead of ending it, since she is the symbol of bending and holds so much power. unalaq would literally not have needed to become the dark avatar if korra didn’t exist. while his desire to overthrow the southern water tribe was corrupt, the heart of the reasons (wanting to increase spiritual connection) caused korra to make the decision which brought airbenders back. however, it also made zaheer able to become a threat again, which is probably the most literal version of korra making her enemies. zaheer’s perception of peace being taking down world leaders would also turn the world to chaos, but once again, his heart is in the right place. kuvira stepped up because no one else would but did not have the correct ideologies to make her a good leader. while she did harm, she also fed people and gave them protection. and, of course, the reason for her taking so much power (while often blamed on su) can also be traced back to korra’s reluctance to be patient with her healing and come back strong enough to either 1) be the one uniting the earth kingdom or 2) be able to defeat kuvira earlier in the season.

this allows for a more complex version of goodness and badness to exist. when korra says that she “had to understand what true suffering was so [she] could become more compassionate to others, even people like kuvira,” it acknowledges that villains can have good intentions that are simply pushed too far AND that korra herself can be pushed to make similar mistakes when placed in traumatizing situations. this is entirely different than aang and ozai’s relationship; so, when you finish korra, you are left with an ambiguity between goodness and badness that atla doesn’t have, making the work you did seem less paid back, except it isn’t. korra demonstrating a more complex version of goodness and badness allows a world more abundant in forgiveness and growth. it gives you a more nuanced perception of character, allowing the protagonists to have horrendously obvious flaws that somehow don’t stop you from rooting for them. there’s just no final battle, big showdown, or huge revolution the protagonist starts. there’s nothing plot wise to signify the clear defeat of evil that people crave. and while everyone is allowed to have a favorite, and most people will naturally sway towards atla because of this, thinking less of korra as a show because of the moral ambiguity it addresses seems dismissive, because if if korra had followed atla’s simple dichotomy of good vs. bad, it most definitely wouldn’t have been as gripping, complex, or interesting as it is.

#don't at me for writing this instead of my wips #this absolutely had to be said #the legend of korra #legend of korra #korra #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #a:tla #atla #tlok #tlok meta #atla meta #a:tla meta #lok meta #k.meta #my writing

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cheryblossomdreams · 4 years ago

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A Discussion About Dramione

This is a very difficult ship in the HP fandom, alongside others like Drarry etc.

However, I think there is something to be said for it regardless, since I’ve seen a lot of anti-Dramione content with some valid points and a lot of non valid ones too, so I suppose I’d like a try my hand at rebuking some of them.

1. Dramione shippers romanticize abuse and bullying.

At first glance, it certainly looks that way. Draco Malfoy was a racist, petty, spoiled bully that jumped on every opportunity to bully Hermione Granger and her friends. He is not a good character. In the Dramione fandom, no one claims he is a good character either. Instead, the Dramione fandom recognized the canon potential for change in Draco and uses that to shape their fanfics. The largest majority of the fandom (There do exist those really young fans that don’t quite yet understand everything that will blindly defend him or create extremely problematic fanart, but they are truly a minority) acknowledges entirely all the wrongs Draco has committed, and they are many. Actually, in most Dramione fics, the writers go to great lengths to process the part of DHr’s past that was filled with hatred and insults. You can find examples of this in the fic Measure of a Man by @inadaze22. Also to the point, most of Dramione fanfiction is written and set in a time many years after the War, after their school years, where they’ve both grown, matured and become adults, changed by time and what they went through, so it is a null point to say Dramione shippers romanticize bullying when their content is almost always set in a time where Draco is no longer a bully and Hermione is no longer a victim.

What the Dramione shippers like to emphasize is the fact that even though Draco used to be a horrible person, he had changed and grown past that, owned up to his mistakes and is now a different man. That’s what the stories they write are about. He had the potential to change already established in canon that he used later through his life to become someone better Hermione could eventually forgive and love.

You’ll be hard pressed to find a Dramione shipper that would say that while they were still in school they should’ve gotten together. Absolutely not. The content most of the Dramione fandom creates is always set post-canon, at a time where Draco’s changed and grown up from who he used to be, and Hermione recognizes his change and forgives him.

She certainly doesn’t have to forgive him, she doesn’t owe him anything, but part of Hermione’s bravery and overall character is that she would have been able to forgive him when she realized he’d changed. Plus, he saved her best friend’s life at a critical point in the war and, even though he did nothing to help her because he literally couldn’t have, which is something I’m pretty sure Hermione would have been grateful for, even a little bit.

The Malfoy family saved Harry’s life TWICE in HP, in both extremely critical moments in the war (Draco lying at the manor, Narcissa lying to Voldemort), which is something Hermione wouldn’t have been able to just ignore and pretend like it never happened, because that’s not who she is.

There probably is a very small percent of the Dramione fandom who create problematic content, but every fandom and every ship has toxic shippers, besides they are simply not the majority.

2. Dramione shippers use Hermione to redeem Draco.

The redemption arc Draco got in HP is extremely flimsy at best, especially considering the amount of damage he’d done prior. He saved Harry’s life, yes, but he did nothing to protect either Ron or Hermione, so personally I wouldn’t harp on about that being much of a redemption arc at all. However, I don’t think any Dramione shippers use Hermione to redeem him. In the Dramione content the things he did wrong and the hurt he inflicted is something Hermione recognizes and then, through the story, eventually chooses to leave behind. Besides, she doesn’t have to redeem him, since we know from canon he’d grown out of his beliefs eventually, privately at least if not publicly (more on this later).

3. Draco had a choice in how to act, if he really didn’t believe in blood supremacy.

No, he didn’t. Let me break it down why.

When he was 11 years old and first coming to Hogwarts, he was too young to understand the beliefs his parents ingrained into him were wrong and harmful, he simply didn’t have the mental capacity to comprehend that. He was a child that hung to every word their mom and dad said and he acted accordingly.

As he grew up though, started going through puberty and maturing, he would’ve realized that blood supremacy is wrong. Let’s say this realization came when he was 14. Lucius and Narcissa weren’t with him at Hogwarts, so if he changed his behavior to reflect his new realizations, they wouldn’t have known, right?

WRONG.

Do you really mean to tell me that if Draco Malfoy, only son and sole heir to the Malfoy family, an extremely wealthy, influential family in the Wizarding World and its politics, part of the sacred 28, well respected and with a high status in society, suddenly started being kinder and friendlier to Muggleborns and Halfbloods, people wouldn’t talk? People wouldn’t wonder, get suspicious? That such news wouldn’t reach his father, who’s got eyes and ears everywhere (evident by the fact he was able to bribe someone in Hogwarts to buy his son a position on the Quidditch team). And how do you think Lucius Malfoy, a devout Death Eater, would have reacted to receiving such news? What do you think would have happened to Draco when he came home that summer?

Draco was never abused and I doubt Lucius would start then, but I am positive he would’ve been disowned, for betraying the values his family had upheld for centuries. Lucius is a staunch blood purist and he absolutely would cut all contact with his son (disown him) when news reached him Draco was making nice with Muggleborns and Halfbloods.

And Draco knew this, he knew how strict his father was, he knew how deeply he believed in blood supremacy and he knew the consequences for stepping out of line and being anything less than the perfect son.

What would a 14-year old kid do being disowned? Homeless essentially?

So, even if he had realized the wrongs of his beliefs and renounced them, he couldn’t have done that publicly, and certainly not with Hermione Granger or Harry Potter much less, seeing as Harry Potter is the nemesis of the man his father believes in.

By the time he reaches 15 and 16, Voldemort is already at full power again and living in Draco’s house. Now things get even worse. After Lucius fails to get the Prophecy in the Department of Mysteries, Voldemort decides he has to punish him for his failure by having Draco take the Dark Mark. By this point, Draco had abandoned ideas of blood supremacy, but at this point, what the fuck is he going to do? Refuse The Dark Lord? The Darkest Wizard in all of Wizarding History? The guy who is living in his house AND holds the lives of him AND his entire family hostage? Who could and would murder Draco’s mother and father and Draco himself if Draco disobeyed? The man who murdered a person right on Draco’s kitchen table and had Nagini swallow them whole?

Even if all of that wasn’t true, and it is, how’s a 16 year old kid going to fight off a house full of seasoned Death Eaters, proficient at the Dark Arts who will use Unforgivables on him, plus Voldemort himself, plus a giant terrifying snake?

At that point, Draco is left with literally zero choice but to take the Mark and obey his mission to murder Dumbledore.

He hatches several plots to kill Dumbledore, all of which fail. When they stand at the Astronomy tower, even Dumbledore himself calls all of his plots halfhearted and weak. Dumbledore offers him help, but Draco is very clear in his regret of the things he’d done and the fact there’s no going back now.

‘I have to do this, I have to kill you, or he’s gonna kill me.’

AND

‘What do you know about me? I’ve done things that would shock you.’

(I’m paraphrasing here, these aren’t the exact quotes).

At which point Snape shows up and kills Dumbledore in Draco’s place because of the Vow he made to Narcissa.

Any way you look at it, he really didn’t have any choice, even if he did at some point during school renounce his beliefs and grow past them.

4. He tried to kill Ron.

I’ve seen antis blame Draco for this one, which is a bit ridiculous. He did not. He had madam Rosmerta poison a bottle of wine, which he sent to Horace Slughorn, hoping Slughorn would pass it onto Dumbledore. Filch hadn’t noticed any traces of poison in it, because he is a Squib, he also didn’t doubt a shipment from Rosmerta, and so he just gave it to Slughorn. Slughorn kept it around and then later he was the one to offer Ron a glass of that wine. In Draco’s plan, Ron wasn’t ever even mentioned nor included in any way. It had been an unlucky coincidence for Ron, and Draco couldn’t have possibly known that Slughorn would hold onto the wine, that Ron would ever be around Slughorn OR that Slughorn would offer Ron that same wine. Sufficed to say, Draco never attempted to murder Ronald Weasley.

5. He did nothing while Bellatrix tortured Hermione.

We’ve been over this, what could he have done? He had saved Harry’s life earlier, but that one lie couldn’t of spared Ron or Hermione, their faces were too recognizable, even if Harry’s wasn’t.

A room full of Death Eaters, some of the cruelest, most dangerous ones mind you (Bellatrix Lestrange) and he’d be 17, if I remember correctly, still not even an adult, plus at this point in the war even more powerless (considering the fact the Malfoys had fallen out of favor with Voldemort, evident by the fact Lucius tells Draco that if they deliver Harry Potter to Voldemort, all would be forgiven).

What did you expect him to do? Leap into battle and try to fend off dozens of Death Eaters, effectively betraying the Dark Lord in the process and single-handedly getting his entire family killed, if not even himself?

Would you have done that? No, of course not.

6. Draco Malfoy is not redeemable.

Now Draco’s “redemption arc”, if it can be called that, is a powerful moment but it’s flimsy. JK didn’t really ever intend for him to be redeemed or liked either, but let’s take a look at it anyways.

It is canon that Draco stopped believing in blood supremacy at some point during their school years, though we can’t know exactly when.

How can I say this, when his behavior never indicated that?

Well, I’ve already been over why he couldn’t have suddenly changed his behavior, now let’s go through how I can claim it is canon.

The scene where Draco lies to everyone about Harry’s identity.

That moment could only exist IF Draco didn’t believe in blood supremacy anymore.

Think about it, if Draco was devout to Voldemort and his beliefs like his father, he would have had no problem or conscience to tell everyone ‘Yes, this is Harry Potter, hand him over.’ It would have been favorable to him if Harry died.

And let’s be clear, if Draco had said the truth in that moment, Harry would have died. He was captured, wandless (his is broken, when they escape the Manor he steals Draco’s), Ron and Hermione captured as well, he was entirely helpless and surrounded by powerful Dark Arts wizards and witches who would lead him directly to Voldemort the moment they got confirmation it was indeed him and that would have been it. Voldemort would have killed him. Voldemort would have won.

But that isn’t what happened.

Draco looked at Harry, recognized it was him (evident by a later scene where Harry straight up says that. “Why didn’t you tell her? Bellatrix? You knew it was me, you didn’t say anything.”) and at first, still unsure what to do, asked why Harry’s face was like that, and he’s told Harry just came in like that.

Draco says “I’m not sure.”

At that point Lucius grips him and tells him that if they gave up Harry Potter to Voldemort all would be forgiven, Bellatrix brings him closer to get a second look.

Draco knows all the consequences of what he’s doing at this point, he knows what he’s risking, the literal lives of everyone he loves, and what does he do?

He still lies.

‘I can’t be sure.’

It’s a powerful moment for his character, BUT it’s not enough for redemption. The amount of pain and hatred he’d spewed for 6 years (I say 6 years because The Golden Trio wasn’t attending Hogwarts for year 7) is not redeemed by this one instance. His actions, letting Death Eaters into Hogwarts, likely torturing people on command of the Carrows in 7th year, are not redeemed by this moment, even if he did save Harry’s life.

However, though this instance doesn’t constitute redemption, it is telling of the fact Draco has changed, and changed significantly from the hateful, angry, spoiled, racist brat he used to be, which gives him potential to grow up into a different, better man.

Whether JK intended it or not, the way that was written makes Draco Malfoy more than redeemable, if not for the duration of the books, then later through his life.

Being a horrible person at one point in your life does not make you forever evil, does not mean you can not ever change. To prove this, I’d like to humbly request you to watch this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSH5EY-W5oM

Voldemort’s regime is very similar to Hitler’s Nazi movement, so this video is very fitting to my point and HP in general.

Here’s another three:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORp3q1Oaezw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw0vS0qvYo0&list=TLPQMTcxMjIwMjBZfqJdkbbQJw&index=2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4gly9n9RBo&list=TLPQMTcxMjIwMjBZfqJdkbbQJw&index=3

If you don’t have time to watch, let me sum it up for you.

The first video chronicles the story of a man who’d been part of the Neo-Nazi movement, managed to leave it behind and become an activist and overall an amazing guy now.

The other three links chronicle the story of Daryl Davis, a black man who’d attended KKK rallies and even met with the Imperial Wizard of the KKK Roger Kelly, somehow despite all odds became friends with him and eventually managed to get through to Roger Kelly to the point where this man (The leader of the KKK on a national scale) stepped down from his position and left the Ku Klux Klan.

That’s real life, something like that happened, truly happened, but Draco Malfoy is irredeemable?

PLUS, Draco is hardly the first case like this.

Take James Potter as an example. James was also a rich, racist, privileged white boy, and a bully. He’d bullied Snape severely, even set up a “prank” with his friends that would lead to Snape getting attacked by a WEREWOLF, putting him in mortal peril, with great potential of killing him, that required then a rescue operation.

James attempted murder, or if you don’t want to go that far, he set up a situation that quite possibly could have gotten someone killed, and he got to mature and grow past his behaviors and redeem himself, fall in love with Lily and have a wonderful son.

Why couldn’t Draco change when James had?

In conclusion, I think there’s a big diifference between what the Dramione fandom actually is and what antis think it is.

The heart of the Dramione fandom is about growing and changing and maturing and forgiving and falling in love despite the differences of the past.

It’s not about romanticizing bullying or toxic relationships, life is not black and white people, people can change and grow from their past actions and people can also forgive and move on.

There’s plenty of examples in the books of Harry and Ron mistreating Hermione and they all move past those instances (obviously that can’t be compared to what Draco did, I’m just making a point here).

I do acknowledge that the Dramione shippers have some bad apples among them, some problematic people that take it all too far, but honestly, every fandom and every ship has bad, toxic people so you can’t really use that against them.

All in all, things aren’t the way antis always present them, there’s a lot more gray there, and I hope this entirely too long post helped some of y’all see that.

#dramione #dramione discourse #pro dramione #a defence of dramione #anti dramione discussions

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everwitch-magiks · 3 years ago

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for that “director’s cut” I was wondering if you’d done henry’s confession scene in sunshine boys! (I’m not sure if I’ve articulated this very well— right after the photo shoot)

Hi! I haven't done that one, so here we go! In Heartaches and Cupcakes and Sunshine Boys, after a photo shoot during which Alex holds the camera and Henry wears literally nothing, some very big confessions are made:

Henry was sitting on the edge of his bed. He had a towel slung around his shoulders and his hair was damp and unusually tousled. Evidently, he'd taken a shower. He wore dark sweats that looked like something one might use for pyjamas. He looked up abruptly when Alex knocked, his eyes a little wide. "Hey." Alex hoovered by the door for a moment. Should he just step inside? Should he wait for Henry to invite him? "You look… less naked." Henry huffed out something of a laugh. He held Alex's gaze. "I guess." Alex's feet carried him across the threshold before he'd quite made up his mind. "Listen, Henry. I'm… I just, do you—" "Alex, I… I can't…" Henry got to his feet. His expression twisted into something painful. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, earlier." "And if you didn't?" Alex asked. He spoke slowly, watching carefully for Henry's reaction. "If I was extremely into everything, today?" Henry went completely still. His expression looked oddly questioning, his eyes clouded by something like doubt or disbelief. Alex would've much preferred hope. Yet then Henry's expression shifted. He swallowed, his jaw setting firmly, and there was no mistaking the way his gaze settled on Alex's mouth. "Alexander." Alex's name sounded impossibly sweet on Henry's lips—instantly, Alex wanted to hear him say it again. Henry took a small, deliberate, unmistakable step forward. "Alex. Please." Alex let himself move a little closer, slowly but surely entering into Henry's space. Henry's gaze flickered up to meet Alex's steadily. Something about the air between them felt electric, like they were on the precipice of an epic, glorious disaster. Henry's murmured please still hung in the air between them. Taking it to heart, Alex finally closed his eyes and leaned in.

Henry says several important things after the kiss, too, none of them quite explaining everything he's feeling, but Alex is able to piece it all together eventually.

This scene. This scene. When I first started outlining Cupcakes, I knew this scene was going to be the main turning point. I'd gotten really obsessed with the whole premise of the fic: Henry is a romance writer who is accused of basing a villain on Alex, and it's no use trying to convince anyone that it's not true so Henry does the opposite and sets out to redeem the villain in his sequel. (Also, he's in love with Alex. It's complicated.) But as much as I couldn't stop thinking about the whole idea, every aspect of it, I always knew that I was working towards this scene specifically. I really wanted to have the right tone for this conversation. I wanted Henry to still be hesitant about Alex and about what it would mean for Henry to let himself be with someone at long last, but I didn't want Henry hesitating about the kiss itself, and I got a lot of help from my beta reader to establish that Henry did, in fact, want to be kissed at the time when that happens. I was also keeping the reader in the dark about a lot of things at this point in the story, such as the truth about the villain in Henry's book, but I was starting to hint at those things and I wanted to keep that at the right level. The dialogue was in my outline in a sort of bullet-point form right from the start, although parts of it changed a lot when I actually wrote it. I went back several times and tried to make Henry less angry and more resigned. He's still angry for a part of it, but he and Alex had enough problems without Henry yelling at full volume in this scene. I really like how it turned out in the end, and maybe in particular how it sets up what comes next in terms of the resolution of the conflict and the second confession scene, the one where they're not speaking so much between the lines. It did what I wanted it to do for the story and for their relationship, and I'm still so happy with how it improved from the first draft to the final version!

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #first prince #firstprince #heartaches and cupcakes and sunshine boys #evie writes #fanfiction #answered

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kitkatopinions · 4 years ago

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There is a bit from a SFDebris review (YouTube psychojaneway sometime), that really speaks to the tragedy of Ironwood, or at least how Mettle should’ve been portrayed). I’ll post the monologue (sorry for length).

This is a really interesting way of looking at James’s semblance and I really like it. I want to make a post pretty soon about how I personally think his semblance should’ve worked and how they should’ve applied it, but this is probably my favorite explanation of how it might work in the actual show. Long post full of RWBY crit and Ironwood defense under the keep reading. If you hate criticism or bashing of CRWBY and hate Ironwood, this post isn’t for you.

Funnily enough, I’ve written a RWBY character having a semblance that acted as a defense mechanism that shut down feelings like doubt, grief, loss, stress, so on and so forth. Before season seven came out, I’d written one of the pre-existing characters to have thought for most of his life that his semblance was passive and was good luck, only for it to later be revealed that his passive semblance was actually survival, and it’d been forcing him to do whatever it took to survive, whether that meant rewriting his moral code when circumstances demanded it, making him skate by incredibly dangerous circumstances sometimes without a scratch on him, or making him just survive even getting eaten by a giant Grimm and promptly blown up. Yep, this guy right here.

In application, this semblance pushed Roman from an optimistic would-be-hunter kid not very different from V1 Ruby, into the uncaring and cruel criminal who beats up on kids and laughingly aids in the destruction of Fall of Beacon that we see in the actual show over the course of around twenty years. In my fic, he survived the Grimm attack and later learned from runaway Emerald and Mercury that Salem planned to destroy the world - which then activated his semblance into another change and caused him to join the heroes (with Emerald and Mercury in tow) in order to try and find Neo at the same time he helped stop Salem, which was a long, painstaking process, and people only started to come around to him after his semblance was revealed to everyone including him, and it was a whole big thing. But that isn’t the point. Sorry for rambling. XD

My point is, this is a very interesting concept that I already loved in theory. It was a handy way to redeem an otherwise very hard to redeem character for my fanfictions, but it also gave some angst and presented all the characters with some very hard to answer questions. And there was also a question of just how much Roman could be blamed for, since his semblance technically hadn’t made him do anything, and had instead slowly stripped him of his morality in a loop he could’ve probably broken early on, but hadn’t, and had instead blamed everyone else. To use a probably faulty metaphor, he’d been sliding down a slope already, he just wasn’t responsible for the avalanche that made his fall faster and more destructive.

Ironwood being in a very similar position is such an interesting concept. His passive semblance acting as a defense mechanism that pushes him to do what he thinks needs to be done, but then latches onto that and pushes him to do whatever he can for that one goal while stripping him of his morality is something that makes his character much, much more understandable, sympathetic, and very easy to redeem. But it also doesn’t excuse him of everything. He still arguably set the path for himself, he still was arguably responsible for how he started down the decline, and he has to deal with the fact that whether or not he was entirely culpable, he still hurt people and that hurt isn’t going to go away just because it wasn’t James’s fault that he got so bad. He started slipping down the slope, but he wasn’t responsible for the avalanche that made his fall faster and more destructive.

And while it clearly wasn’t slow going growth over the course of twenty years, and his circumstances were so suddenly severe that it feels less like James had outs, with this interpretation we can gauge stages of how much his semblance seems to affect him.

Stage 1. Barely affected

He still has clarity, is able to hold himself back, does things even though he might not think it’s the best course because he trusts and listens to others, clearly cares about everyone, seems like a very reasonable person, so on and so forth.

Stage 2. Somewhat affected

We don’t see much of James here, but we see that he’s flexing his power over Jacques, pulling back his forces from the other Kingdoms, threatening - All for very good reasons, all understandable, all incredibly sympathetic, but still, it seems a bit too much.

Stage 3. Is it him or is it his semblance?

There’s a lot of good James did or was trying to do in season seven, not everything - in fact, very little - he did was evil, it was all well intentioned, it was all in pursuit of good goals. But, he was neglecting what Mantle needed. That doesn’t mean that he didn’t try to protect the people of Mantle, he’s the one who started the evacuations in the first place, after all. But we can see that he’s focusing on his end goals and letting other things fall on the back burner, even important things. I don’t think this is outside of his character, but with the application of his semblance, there’s the question: How much of it is James and how much of it is his passive semblance building up and pushing him into things he otherwise might not do? However, there’s still this softness, still the fact that he’s trying, still the fact that his back is to a wall, still the fact that underneath ‘what he has to do I.E. his semblance’ he’s clearly still himself, his semblance hasn’t taken him over to the point where he’s hard to recognize. Theeennnnnn there’s

Stage 4. This isn’t ‘James,’ this is his semblance.

This doesn’t connect with the earlier seasons at all. This was a rapid fire quick and jerky fall that didn’t fit with his earlier character (no I won’t argue this point, Ironwood haters don’t @ me.) The only thing that really can make this make sense for me is James’s semblance manifesting in a strong way that eclipses his personality. Personally I still think it’s godawful writing because A. his semblance isn’t even mentioned in the show, so it feels like a stupid and totally out of character forced sudden jump, even if the writers ‘intended it to be because of his semblance,’ but also B. because it went too fast still, so there isn’t as much of an impact here. However, the potential is astronomical! James’s semblance has taken control of him, and it might be his fault that he started down this road and started slipping, but now this isn’t him anymore, he can’t actually stop himself from doing these things, his semblance is acting as a form of partial mind control, forcing him to not care about anything outside of his one goal ‘save Atlas,’ to the point where there is no reasoning with him, and he can’t help it. Tbh, the fact that his aura broke and they decided to keep going with ‘evil Ironwood’ is such an incomprehensible mistake imo. There’s every possibility that his aura was already replenished by the time he woke back up and his cell went down and his brain said ‘kill Jacques’ for who knows what reason, but there’s also the possibility that CRWBY was just like ‘people were expecting the semblance we literally gave James that makes him much less responsible for anything he did to matter and for us to make him sympathetic in the narrative, and for our story to therefore make more sense? RIP to those amateurs, they should know by now that we don’t use good concepts!’

Like, the concept of how it could work in action is so good and I honestly would really enjoy it in practice in the show. Unfortunately, the writers suck too much for that and throw good concepts away on a whim.

#rwde #james ironwood defense #ironwood defense #pro ironwood #pro James ironwood #good Ironwood #anti crwby #anti rwby #rwby hate #this is very specifically pro ironwood #if you hate Ironwood don't interact please #we're just not going to agree thanks :)

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jiangwanyinscatmom · 3 years ago

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Who are characters if given a second chance or to turn back time can be redeemed in mdzs.

I had to think on this a bit since I can't say Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji themselves would think that going back to the past is worth it since they very much accept the mistakes they had made, caused, and grew up because of them. They are the two in story who put such a heavy emphasis on how moving on is inevitable as well as healthier to be happy and life doesn't HAVE second chances in that sort of sense. Wei Wuxian was a lucky outlier due to Mo Xuanyu's own machinations that in the long run had nothing really to do with Jin Guangyao's deeper plotting. It was all really just a lucky coincidence for Nie Huaisang's plans to hinge so heavily on Wei Wuxian deciding to stay and he was lucky that it was Lan Wangji to have been the one to find and help Wei Wuxian the way he did, otherwise nothing would have changed. Wangxian aren't the ones in need of redemption as neither feel guilty in such a massive sense, and are content with where life is for them post-canon.

I also don't see Nie Huaisang being able to push a plan forward like time travel given he had to rely on so many others shifting things for him to make a difference, and in the end it was Mo Xuanyu who figured out the summoning ritual with some verbal pushing from Nie Huaisang. Cunning does not mean academic intelligence and it would mean exposing more of himself to Wei Wuxian's scrutiny, which Wei Wuxian wants no part of in the end and drops it despite his suspicions. Nie Huaisang is forever a behind the curtain man.

Jiang Cheng is already out of this picture since his nature is not in looking beyond the social dynamics that caused them to be where they are all at in the first place. He sticks too close to the status quo and prefers not to stick his head out (just look at how he held Wei Wuxian back during indoctination and MianMian being threatened). He still never grew out of that and I highly doubt he still regrets what exactly he did against Wei Wuxian enough to fix anything, he still dislikes Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and Wen Ning as people, and doesn't apologize for much of anything other than deciding to leave them be. Him going back in time requires too much sympathy that he is just not capable of giving to the ones he hates.

My best bet would probably be on Lan Xichen given how much he broods on what he had done in the past, his own naivety, his lack of looking deeper, as well as the irony of not trusting his brother who is always truthful. He is the one that strikes me as probably wanting to eventually make amends as something more than a passive sect leader post-sunshot campaign given what he knows now. He is also ultimately well meaning and sympathetic to others, and his main influence in life is trying to understand his brother and keep him specifically as safe as he is able to despite his many mistakes with dismissing Lan Wangji. Who knows, maybe he'd be willing to dig into issues in an attempt to right things that needed attention and being more bold them he had been in life earlier.

I also don't think purposeful time-travel sticks as nicely as an idea in comparison to accidental. Purposeful travel just rings as something very hollow for me with these characters and especially Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji since it goes against their philosophy in life to do better from their mistakes and maturing.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #fic ideas #sorta

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catgirlxox · 5 years ago

Text

Ben Is Too Good For His Own Good

Aka a "cinnamon roll", if you will. Yes, I'm writing an essay on this.

So it's nothing new that Ben has this "second chances" philosophy, but that is indicative of the possibility that he would let himself be in damaging relationships in hopes that the other person would change or improve.

There have been various instances of Ben kind of just brushing off being treated poorly. I wouldn't say that this makes him a push over or anything like that, but I never see any of these things being pointed out. They're just kind of laughed off.

Just the other day, in fact, I had someone privately DM me saying that they don't believe Ben ever had any trauma or side effects from his lifestyle, even questioning “what nightmares” I was even referring to.

On top of that, it's a very common thing in this fandom to state things like "the girls deserved better than Ben." I'll always be of the opinion that Ben is the one that deserved better, and I have plenty (logical) reasons why, but that’s besides the point.

Even though Ben is so forgiving and cooperative, giving everyone a second chance to change, it just doesn't sit right with me that we should just be okay with some of the horrible things that are being justified here. That doesn't mean you should hate these characters. I mean, Ben clearly doesn't. But it honestly says more about him than any of them.

It says a lot to me when I see Ben seeing the best in someone, even when they've done horrible things in the past or are in the midst of doing something bad to him.

One example, which I keep bringing up on this blog, is the episode "Vilgax Must Croak." Besides everything else that Vilgax had done to him in the past, in addition to throughout the episode up until this point, Ben was still shown believing that Vilgax could have tried to save him by jumping in front of Ben to shield him from a (seemingly extremely destructive) blast from Attea.

Things like this also explain why I don’t support shipping Ben with Attea, but that’s besides the point too...

Of course, even if he did save Ben by doing this, Vilgax was only manipulating the situation to make it look like he was trying to save Ben when he was really taking the chance to break himself free of the handcuffs.

But, even so, this seems to mean that Ben believes that Vilgax does have it in him to do something good. Ben was admittedly shocked by what had happened at first, but by the next scene where he turns back to human, he's got his guard down enough for Vilgax to take advantage of the situation again and shoot him in the back. Because, please realize, if Vilgax didn’t “save” him, he wouldn’t be able to shoot him in the back.

But anyway, in conclusion, as the title states, he's too good for his own good.

The next unfair circumstance which displays the same thing happens in the episode "No Honor Among Bros." I am aware that the following is uncharacteristic of Rook and had only happened because Rook was under the influence of a substance, so I want to acknowledge that, but I am mostly focusing on Ben's actions here.

Ben and Rook eventually are set up against each other in the tournament, and, besides the fact that Ben already doesn't want to fight anyone needlessly, as shown by his previous match against Malice where he was BEAT UP FOR THREE HOURS...

...he clearly holds back while fighting Rook in this match, too.

The one time he actually hits Rook with a decent shot, which knocks Rook out temporarily, not only does he immediately go check on him to make sure he's not badly hurt, but also turns back to human, leaving him somewhat more vulnerable then he would be as Upchuck.

This seems to mean that he trusted Rook wouldn't take that chance to hit him right back. And unnecessarily hard too, at that.

This knocks Ben down, making him lose the fight. The important thing to take away from this is that, regardless if he just chalked it up to Rook not being himself, he still didn't seem to hold it against him, besides just being slightly annoyed.

So, basically, he got his ass beat multiple times only because he was holding back for the other person's sake. He's too good for his own good.

Then there's also Kevin and Tetrax. Both are former "criminals", albeit for different reasons, and Ben still had it in him to befriend both of them. This is probably due to the fact that they've built trust over time, and fought evil together to protect others, including each other.

I don't like to look past the fact that Kevin, while admittedly not entirely in control of his powers at the time, has tried to kill Ben on multiple occasions. But, like I said, Ben has grown to trust him and they have each other's back, so there’s no need to really expand on those two all that much.

Then there's the sad story of Elena.

You could argue that the reason it's difficult for me to look past Elena's “mistakes” is because she was given little to no chances to redeem herself. And perhaps there is some truth to that.

However, there has been a scene which seems to be what is considered "redeeming" - when she attempts to sacrifice herself to save Ben.

And while Ben himself seemed extremely moved by this at the time, clearly not holding any hard feelings towards what she had just done to him throughout "Revenge of the Swarm", I can't say that I feel the same.

I can't say that I feel the same because Ben's life would not even be in danger at this point if she didn't attempt to suffocate him. Should I see her as a “hero” for saving Ben from herself?

Especially when it’s evident that she had enough self control to attempt to commit suicide, but somehow not enough to not attempt to kill Ben again once she realized that her suicide attempt failed.

Ben: “Elena! They’ve been controlling you! You’ve got to fight them!”

Elena: “They’re not controlling me, they are me! And I am them!”

Another thing about her predicament that I don't understand is whether or not her choices are voluntary. The other characters say outwardly that "the chips are controlling her", while she, in response, claims that they are not controlling her and instead, that they "are her."

Elena: “They give me what I want! They fulfil my deepest desires! Even the ones I don’t know I have!”

She also claims that the chips want what she wants, and because they “are her” they give her the ability to get everything she might want. By that logic, she would want everything that had happened up until this point, which is crazy and inexcusable.

If she is the chips, implying there is no other Elena inside that is the “true” Elena, and she genuinely wants to do things like stalk Ben and attempt to kill him, then I don’t see a way to excuse or justify that.

But then, in the midst of choking Ben to death, Julie tells her that she couldn't seriously want Ben to die, which Elena responds to seemingly confused or unsure for the first time, and only states it must be what she wants, before claiming that she really did care about Ben.

I’m sure Ben would agree that she could still be redeemed at this point. He would probably still agree she could be redeemed after all that I’m about to go over as well.

And, while this is evident since he did state the following, believing, once again, that there is still good in someone who had done horrible things:

Ben: “There was enough of my friend left to save my life.”

She still came back to make the situation worse instead of taking the chance to redeem herself.

Unfortunately, unlike I suggested earlier, and instead of leaving it at that after surviving her suicide attempt and traumatizing everyone in the process, she returns in "The Perfect Girlfriend" impersonating Julie, being the cause of Gwen suffering a pretty significant injury, and, let’s not forget, attempting to kill Ben once again.

It’s even worse that she chose to do so at such a vulnerable point in Ben and Julie’s relationship, considering that they had been arguing lately, even in the beginning of that very episode. I’ve actually had someone claim that this episode proves that Ben’s idea of the “perfect” girlfriend is someone who does everything he says and may as well have no individual personality. And, because someone I think is credible enough to speak on Ben’s behalf believes that to some extent, it just shows me that it’s possible many other people in this fandom might believe the same thing.

To me, it simply seemed as if he believed that his relationship with his girlfriend was finally improving, which is a good thing. It doesn’t seem all that unreasonable for him to not question why they were suddenly getting along much more than before. Why would anyone question their relationship with their significant other going well, especially after going through a rough patch?

Regardless, after realizing the reason why this was the case, he must have also felt horrible about not noticing sooner, which sucks. He’d be seen as a jerk for questioning why his girlfriend was being so nice to him had he done so, but he’d be seen as a jerk for not noticing that it wasn’t really her all this time anyway.

I hate to keep flaming her, but Elena chose to put him in that position since the chips allow her to fulfil “all her deepest desires”, apparently. Because that's what you do to someone you "love."

While Elena's story wasn't continued past Ultimate Alien, the Ben 10: Omniverse comic "Parallel Paradox" did attempt to tie up loose ends.

Before I continue, I have to state that the comics are not technically "canon.” However they are official source material and therefore should be accurate to canon. So, for clarity, and for those who haven't read this comic, Elena here is basically presented as if she is voluntarily a criminal. She's apparently stealing tech for money, working for some other higher level bad guy, and clearly has a grudge against Ben after what had happened.

I’ll provide the relevant pages below, but Elena states that Ben was “rude” to her the last time they saw each other...when, in the moment she is reffering to, she had impersonated her way into Ben’s living room and had the nerve to get into an argument with him when she was clearly in the wrong.

But Ben himself wasn’t even being rude to her in that particular scene, either. He was trying to explain why what she was doing was wrong. He only resorted to using the Ultimatrix once Elena resorted to violence herself.

At the end of "Parallel Paradox", it's revealed that Ben feels like Elena hates him, despite all that she's done to him. Which is interesting, since it doesn't seem to me like he's done anything to her to give her a reason to hate him. Not even supposedly being “rude.” It seems like it should be the other way around, really.

I know that I wouldn't hesitate considering filing a restraining order against someone who stalked me, attacked my friends, kidnapped my significant other, lied to me, and then attempted to kill me twice.

But Ben? No, AFTER ALL THAT...he actually wants to help her and wishes she didn't hate him for no reason.

Or maybe she doesn't have a grudge against him for what he did do, but rather what he didn't do, in her view. The irony is that Ben clearly would do anything he could to help her, she just isn't accepting that help. She just wants what she wants and will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

She seems to constantly be putting the blame on everyone but herself. And the first step to changing for the better starts with changing oneself by changing old habits and actively working to do better. It's even more sad that she doesn't seem to realize just how much faith Ben does have in her, despite the horrific stuff in Ultimate Alien.

If she really loved him, she shouldn't let him down. But at this point, I don't know if that's the case anymore.

Anyway, at the end of the day, what astounds me the most is that Ben isn't mad at her. I mean, he should at least have serious trust issues by now! It really puts things into perspective and explains why there even is an alternate future where a pairing like Benkai can happen.

If someone like Kevin, who hated Ben as a kid and actively tried to kill him, can become his best friend, and if someone like Elena can also get away with causing so much unnecessary harm to Ben without so much as a displeased glance, why wouldn't he give a girl who just likes to bully and pick on him another chance?

I still don't believe he deserves that, but I fear that is it is extremely likely, even if it comes from a good place.

And because he gives everyone 764845786448578 chances.

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lemonlushff-iy · 5 years ago

Photo

Chapter 11 Teaser Contest - One Last Ride

I do this for A Heart’s Abduction...So why not do it for OLR too?!?! Last thing from me tonight I think.

Teaser game rules:

If you reblog, comment, and/or like this post, I’ll enter you in for a chance to win either:

An extended sneak peak at Chapter 11

You can ask me anything (including anything about the plot of this story) and I have to answer you when you ask - No waiting for the next AMA!

You can also bank your prize for a later date and time (but you have to contact me when you’re ready to redeem it!)

If you give this post more than one note, I will enter your name in for every note! Meaning if you reblog this more than once, I will enter your name in for every reblog and comment.

Names go into wheel of names and then I’ll upload the results.

I’ll pick a winner sometime Wednesday night!

And if you haven’t yet…you can read chapter 1-10 on FFN and AO3!

Wall of Tags:

@clearwillow, @keichanz, @dangerouspompadour, @nartista, @kaze-ranna, @superpixie42, @sticky-llama-perfection, @pinkpigeonstudio, @mcornilliac, @itzatakahashi, @zelink-inukag, @juliatheanimelover7, @csim28, @smmahamazing, @the-lucky-ones311, @cyncyn981, @animemomma96, @ayari17, @underwater0phelia, @sailorbabydoll92, @l-taisho29, @animelove1313, @littlemissinukag, @gofoulpuppycollector, @umacaking, @chanin29, @silverhearts14, @lebiishoujo, @theinuyashareader, @procellaxletalis, @irrationalandimpossible, @cstorm86, @disgruntledbeast, @ruddcatha

Teaser behind the cut:

Chapter 11

Kagome’s grip on the steering wheel tightened and relaxed as she stared out at the ranch house in front of her. Was this crazy? Coming here? Wanting to spend tonight with him? Be by his side?

He had told her she should come...

Now that she was here, she was terrified and questioning everything. Maybe this had all been a giant mistake. She missed him so much though...but she just knew that they would be delving into old wounds tonight.

Knowing you were walking into that was...hard.

She took a deep calming breath and remembered what her therapist had told her earlier that day when Kagome had called her. She needed to do this. If nothing else, it would bring her closure - something she had been sorely missing. Inuyasha had been thrown back into her life, for better or for worse, and it was time she faced her past.

She leaned over and grabbed the six pack from the foot of the passenger's seat and got out, gently closing the door of her rentle. The sun was just about to set - his transformation would be happening any minute now, and she wanted to be with him when it did.

As she slowly approached the quaint, white house, she could hear two voices yelling within. She couldn’t quite make out the words, but she could tell that one was Izayoi. The other was a bit harder to identify, but if she had to guess, she would put her money on it belonging to Inuyasha. She had heard his mother use that tone with him once before when he had run away as a kid. The time he had walked through the creek to their house because he didn’t want to do chores.

His parents had been furious...but his mother? She had really lit into him. She hadn’t been able to see him for two and a half whole weeks after that. It had been the longest they had ever spent apart. Until...until now.

Whatever had happened tonight...it wasn’t good.

She was just beginning to debate if she should knock, turn tail, or awkwardly wait around when the front door swung open and a very irate and flushed Inuyasha pushed past the storm door. His footsteps were heavy as he pounded down the steps and strode over to her, a snarl on his face. He took her arm and started guiding her away from the house and she looked at him before glancing over her shoulder.

Izayoi appeared in the doorway behind him, looking just as angry.

“Inuyasha! Inuyasha get back here! We weren’t done yet!”

“I think we were Ma!” he snapped, pausing and whirling around on his mother, a fang poking out of the corner of his mouth. She felt his grasp tighten on her arm and she hissed at the surprising amount of pressure. His ear swiveled back on her and he loosened his grip, mumbling out an apology. “I love you Ma, but...I gotta. I just...I gotta,” he reiterated, his tone softening. “I’ll see ya later, ok?”

Izayoi looked like she was about to argue with him, but Toga came into view and placed his hands on her shoulders. She turned her head around to regard him with pained eyes, and he shot his wife an understanding look. Izayoi spun in her husband's arms, allowing him to pull her into a warm, comforting embrace before shifting his eyes to his son. They were solem and worried, but Toga nodded and that was all Inuyasha seemed to need. He returned his father’s gesture before pulling more gently on Kagome’s arm, guiding her away from his house and around to the stable.

“Inuyasha?” she asked hesitantly, unsure of what he was planning.

“Thought we should go someplace we can’t be overheard,” he explained roughly. “I thought we could go to our spot at the cliffs. How does one last ride sound?”

Like she didn’t want it to be the last one.

#inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fanfic #inuyashafanfic #inuyasha #inukag #DAMNIT CARRA #Ode to Carra #Clearwillow #rancher #cattle rancher #western #romance #angst #one last ride #lemonlushff #teaser game

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