#so he goes for Vaseline instead

[milkteasweetheart]

『just like heaven, chapter 1, part 1』

this part contains riddle’s dream sequence. 

housewardens x reader

author’s note: i depict nrc as an actual college, so first years are 18, second years 19, etc.

summary: crowley has the bright idea of a bonding experience, specifically in the form of a dream potion.

characters: (riddle rosehearts), leona kingscholar, azul ashengrotto, jamil viper, vil schoenheit, idia shroud, malleus draconia / platonic mentions: dire crowley (ew), grim

genre: romance, fluff, smidge of angst

warnings: female reader, reader is yuu, reader is around ace and deuce’s height, sappy, marriage, mentions of potential children, some suggestive themes

「dream scene: rose colored reverie」

Being in someone else’s dream looks strange. Seeing your own dreams in your mind’s eye makes you perceive it as high definition, but looking at this place, it’s like watching a movie shot with a lens covered in vaseline. Except for one house, and it's yard where our cast is trying to walk without falling over.

Vil is currently clinging onto the prefect, who had by now developed the skill of surviving whatever wringer life throws her in. Leona groans out of annoyance. It’s bad enough that he has to spend his precious sleeping time doing this fuckery and spending time with the fuckass lizard and the others when he could be cuddling with the prefect (he will never admit that).

“This must be where the dream is set.” Malleus wondered out loud, not turning around when Azul struggled to learn how to use his legs for the second time. Idia was sad that the dream world didn’t have phones to record this with. So was Jamil.

The group were not accompanied by Crowley, who had explained that “Someone needs to make sure that nothing goes wrong!” (Y/N) knew he was going to say that before he said it. Like precognition limited to one singular idiot.

“...certainly not a pleasant start to this. The headmage said we must go through everyone’s dreams… what a bother.” Azul had managed to conquer the task of standing without falling over. “Got something embarrassing to hide, octopunk? We’ll see yours eventually.” Leona was quick to take out his annoyance on Azul, to which he only rolled his eyes. What a brute.

(Y/N) looked at everyone. They seemed fine. She deliberately ignored Vil, who was still clinging onto her forearm despite being able to walk by now as evidenced when she went to check on Riddle, who was standing still, staring at the house. With silent horror. Vil’s face was quickly changed into a smug smile. “What’s wrong, Rosehearts?” His words didn’t match his tone, a patronizing mockery. Riddle wondered if magic could be used in the realm of dreams. He’d like to shut Vil up, and get out of here. He knew exactly what this dream was about.

Yet, Riddle didn’t answer. Instead, he blushed as he heard a car roll into the driveway. A cute little vintage car. (Y/N) looked as… she herself stepped out? She was wearing a snazzy suit with a fedora, and carrying a briefcase. Very fitting with the old-timey vibe this whole place was oozing. But why was she here?

Azul watched Riddle suffer with glee, excited at the prospect of a rival removing themselves from the chase of (Y/N)’s heart.

「Azul: Oho! Interesting!」

Idia was concerned at Azul’s widening smile. Hell no. He NEEDS to figure out how to stop this series of unskippable cutscenes or he will be COOKED.

Jamil looks at Dream (Y/N)’s face. It’s quite accurate, with the exception of an uncharacteristic smoldering look. Wait… Oh, this’ll be good.

Dream (Y/N) has somehow acquired a bunch of roses, painted red, and opens the door. The group peers inside. Riddle wishes to pass away. 

「Riddle: How can I offend Draconia as fast as possible so that he’ll smite me out of existence?」

“Welcome home, beloved!” (Y/N) watches as the Dream Riddle greets her dream counterpart with a kiss on the cheek. Dream (Y/N) presents him the bouquet, which he gladly takes.

It’s going to be a long night.

[hballegro]

i have more conspiracies about MASH that may or may not be true, but ive decided they are. they also just might have been explained, but im dumb, and cant remember. heres your sequel.

in 7x3 where hawkeye tackles bj, bj goes "AAH!' and hawkeye says 'WRONG! THAT STARTS WITH AN H!'. this is because mike farrell's line was 'hey!' but due to the force and drama of the scene, just Yelped instead.

All the dogs that turned up that never appeared again [like the one bj and hawk "ate" when they were trying to scare a visitor, dogs seen in 1 shot, etc] were just dogs that the production crew/cast owned and wanted to bring to work/volunteered their animal for acting duty

in the handful if scenes where hawkeye is actually knitting [and not using the red yarn, for the reason given in the previous edition], hes making a blankie for erin. [co-credit my sibling]

klinger got his ears pierced during the course of the show, starting with clearly just clip-ons and then later declares he doesnt want his ears to close up. some say continuity error, I say commitment (and also it would probably be easier to find real earrings instead of clip-ons)

in s7e2 Peace on Us, no one told bill christopher to tie that red streamer around his neck, he just thought it would be silly

in s7e2 Peace on Us, again, no one told alan alda to drive the jeep back to camp with his leg up like that. he just knows the character well enough to make that call. which he's correct about

the scar on hawkeye's lip was caused by a fishhook in his youth. got called Troutboy a long time afterward because of it.

bj is a vaseline girlie and takes good care of his hair as well.

hawkeye sniffs food because, having grown up partly during the depression, eating spoiled food was a real risk, so giving it a good ol' sniff-test was a given

fr mulcahy cares deeply about his appearance and engages in more grooming activities than any other guy in camp [the shower cap, always looking perfect, owning gardening gloves, manicured hands and feet, etc]. he even irons his stole on a bi-weekly basis and launders his clerical collars

hawkeye's issues with people leaving and not saying goodbye began with his mother after she passed, since his father didnt want him to worry

on nights where charles goes to bed after the other two, he will occasionally clean up a little bit. this contributes to why he's so pissed in 'Pressure Points'- he's been doing his own cleaning and some of theirs without them noticing or caring.

once again these are all just things that came to mind while watching, i didnt think too hard on them. the only one 'researched' on was the food sniffing, solely because i needed to do Year Math lol

[buggyjuggie]

Here are some random headcanons/ideas about johnny/johnshi that have been brewing in my autistic brain for a few days :3

Headcanons

• Johnny has been a hug fan of Van Damme ever since childhood. He tought of Van Damme as his idol.

• Johnny still is in contact with his mom and she’s the only person in the cage family that knows of Johnny’s and Kenshi’s relationship.

•Johnny Kitana Millena Syzoth and Ashrah have movie night every week

• He likes it when Kenshi runs his fingers across his chest tattoo

•He’s also extremely ticklish

•Johnny is autistic (TRY AND CHANGE MY MIND I DARE YOU) his hiperfixations are movies(duh) and history

•Johnny is actually really smart and people tend to be surprised when they come over and see that he has a college diploma

• For special events he’ll wear a black pencil eyeliner

•He knows how to take care of himself like bro probably has 24 step skincare routine, uses hand moisturiser ALL THE TIME, wears lipglosses/vaseline, clean healthy nails, a bunch of different types of shampoos ( clean girl aesthetic)

•If Kenshi had a dificult or stressful day Johnny will let him lay on his chest (titties)

•Johnny is the best when it come to gift giving. While to others it may look like Johnny doesn’t listen to anyone but himself he actually remembers a lot of details about his friends and while it may look like he’s not listening he’s actually doing the exact opposite.

•Smoke sees Johnny as an older brother and sometimes asks him for advice or just to hang out

•Johnny and Kitana and besties they go clothe shopping often and talk about drama from both hollywood and outworld

• He teaches the characters from outworld how to use technology like phones, TV’s ect.

Ideas

(Feel free to take these if you want because i can’t write fanfiction to save my life lol)

• Switched AU- very simple Johnny and Kenshi switch places so instead of Kenshi loosing his eyesight it’s Johnny who looses it

•Double date- Kenshi and Johnny go on a double date with Tanya and Millena or Syzoth and Ashrah (or any ship of your choice)

•Cuddle fic- i don’t get how theres so little fics of them just cuddling and being domestic gays (LET MY BOYS BE HAPPY AND CUDDLE)

• Ghost fic- ok i know i just said there needs to be more fluff BUT I’m also a sucker for hurt comfort so essential johnny dies or has to be killed and his soul goes into Sento and that way he can communicate with Kenshi (i have a full post with more details)

•Childhood-Johnny tells Kenshi about his childhood after he noticed the little things about johnny that dont make sense or are concerning ( can you tell im a sucker for hurt/comfort)

Sorry for the bad grammar english isn’t my first language but i hope you enjoyed reading my rambles :3

[thespiritssaidso]

Shawn Goes Grocery Shopping

Summary: Shawn doesn’t like the list of groceries Lassiter gave him, so he comes up with better alternatives.

Notes: First fic I’ve written in about *checks calendar* over two weeks holy shit. Anyways, enjoy!

Based off this tumblr post, which was sent to the Shassie discord. Thank you @the-heart-of-leo for the inspiration

—————

Deep breath, deep breath, Carlton. Remember, Shawn’s never had to get actual groceries for anyone but himself. Lassiter turned to face his husband, who was sitting on the kitchen counter. “Shawn. I’m gonna go through this with you again, just to make sure we’re on the same page. Okay?”

“Copy that, Lassinator.”

Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out a small list. “So, I sent you to the grocery store with this list to get some items we need, correct?”

Shawn nodded.

“And on of those things was a block of sharp cheddar cheese. Which I needed to make our Shepherds Pie for dinner tonight. What did you bring back?”

Reaching behind him, he grabbed one of the bags to reveal what he got. “I got cheese sticks for dinner tonight.”

“Cheese sticks.” Lassiter parroted. “Something that cannot go on a Shepherd’s Pie. Something that we are going to be having for dinner tonight instead, along with leftover pasta.”

“Sounds good to me, babe.” Shawn grinned.

Lassiter just sighed. “While on the topic of dinner, I also asked for carrots. What did you get instead?”

“Carrot cake, for when we finish eating the cheese sticks.”

“And when I asked for bananas, the thing I have for breakfast every morning, what did you bring back?”

“Banana bread. Which, honestly Lassie, is such an upgrade. You should be thanking me.”

It was better, if Lassiter was being honest. But that wasn’t the point. “I also asked for 6 kiwis. You know, to go with the bananas-”

“Wait, but I did get six kiwis, Lassie!”

“Shawn.” Lassiter sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You got six boxes of kiwis. Ten kiwis per box. That’s sixty. Sixty kiwis.”

“I thought you really liked kiwis.”

“Since when-!” Calm down, calm down. “Okay, next thing. Croissants.”

“Cinnamon rolls are so much better Lassie. And I like it when you get up early just to bake them for breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like a delicious haven of sugary baked goods. They make me want to float to whatever windowsill they may be resting on while they cool off.”

Lassiter smiled a little bit at Shawn’s goofiness. Okay, maybe the substitute wasn’t terrible. He was still a little peeved though, since he had been craving croissants. He moved on to the next item.

“Cucumbers.” He reached over to grab said vegetable, and held it up. “These weren’t even on the list.”

“Oh, I had something else in mind for them, maybe later tonight?” Shawn bit his lip and winked.

Lassiter blushed a fiery red. “D- uhh- m-moving on.” He shook himself off. “Finally, when I said I needed chapstick-”

“I got you Vaseline. Pineapple Vaseline, which I’m surprised even exists. And really, who uses chapstick anymore? Vaseline is like, so much cheaper and it works the same!”

“Shawn, I don’t think you understand.” Again reaching over inside the bag next to Shawn, he grabbed the large tub his husband had bought. “I can’t take this anywhere with me.”

“Sure you can! Just… carry it like- like a…” Shawn faltered. “…a baby?”

“Like a baby?” He asked incredulously.

“Or something like that.”

Lassiter just sighed, and took another look at all of the groceries. “I think I should just go shopping for us from now on.”

[ophelia-ophelian]

Rating the LI in Obey Me based on how they put on chapstick

a/n: tell me why anytime I see a guy put on chapstick, he tenses up so much

Puts it on like a normal person:

Mephistopheles: 10/10, skin care galore, lets it moisturize his lips first before he drinks, eats, or kisses you. The only one I can forgive for accidentally not reapplying throughout the day because he forgot.

Barbatos: 9/10, no one sees him do it, but always has moisturized lips. I think the best of him, so I trust he does it like a normal person.

Asmodeus: 8/10, he is the only one who does it right. Lost points because he will kiss you on the cheek after putting it on and will get it all over your face.

Satan: 7/10, reapplies throughout the day, doesn't make a weird face, keeps the Devildom's version of Aquafor on him at all times. Went to the beach after applying Aquafor and his lips got severly sunburnt.

Purses his lips and runs it over his lips once and is like "yeah that'll do":

Lucifer: 6/10, he got points because he reapplies throughout the day and his face while putting it on his funny. One of the only who doesn't have chapped lips.

Simeon: 6/10, gets points because he's actually moisturized somehow, but makes a weird face. Learns later how to do it normally.

Mammon: 5/10, has to have moisturized lips because he models. Sometimes will get it outside his lips and it makes him look greasy (I do that in winter because I get so dry so I get it). Reapplies after eating, but that's it.

Puckers his lips tensely and only applies it on one lip and then rubs them together:

Beelzebub: 4/10, once in the morning, doesn't reapply, has moderately chapped lips. Only get him Vaseline because the fruit flavored ones will make him pick and chew on his lips subconsciously, making his lips more chapped, which leads him to chew off the dead skin, which makes his lips more chapped, which leads to--

Leviathan: 2/10, CHAPPED LIPS. Doesn't help that he picks as his hands, lips, skin, acne, etc., leads to chapped lips. Is only fine after he spends a day outside -- which is never (Levi ily but seriously, go look at clouds) or after he goes swimming or whatever his part reptile ass does (he is my favorite to hate on he's wonderful guys I promise)

Chapped lips:

Thirteen: 4/10, she does regularly apply, she is just cursed with the girl problem of always having chapped lips. Me too... Me too...

Belphegor: 1/10, gets points for trying, he rubs it all off as soon as someone isn't watching because he doesn't like the texture. No matter what kind you get him, his face always looks greasy. You realize because, if he doesn't wipe it off, he sleeps with it on... Getting it to smear all over his face.

Kisses it off your lips:

Diavolo: 8/10, gets major points because his lips aren't chapped because he gets the expensive skin care regimen and is a moisturized king. Loses points because kissing it off of you instead of just putting on his own because you have to reapply, which then he kisses off, which makes you reapply, which then he kisses it off--

Solomon: 0/10, does it purely to annoy you. Will purposely make his lips chapped so you have to kiss his crusty self. Love him though, F for favoritism.

[youaremysunshine-court]

please elaborate I'm so curious about this

Wow this is so late! I've been looking at this ask for weeks and wanting to reply, but I finally have the time now!

(apologies in advance if you dont know anything about bnha) (but thanks for this opportunity bc idk if ill ever write the fic)

so, way back in the day, endeavour is running around as a starter hero, and one day while hes stomping about, he runs into a civilian. instead of stuttering or shying away, she stands up to her full height of 5 foot nothing, puts her hands on her hips and yells him into apologising to her.

endeavour is, of course, immediately enamored. he lurks around her workplace when hes off duty, and nearly messes up an operation because she passes by and waves at him in the middle.

so of course hes crushed when he asks her out and she turns him down immediately. deciding to try the 'good guy' route, he backs off completely, only for her to march up to him a few weeks later and yell at him for not pursuing her.

so he takes her out for coffee, and they soon have standing dates that are only interrupted by the most urgent of hero business. but endeavours rank is increasing, and the strict morals of the country stop him from running around with a woman hes not married to.

its around this time he gets the idea into his head that he needs to make the greatest hero ever. but this lady (who hes pretty sure is the love of his life) doesnt have a complementary quirk to his. after all, how is the ability to self moisturise going to help his potential hero offspring.

of course, he doesnt tell her any of this because he doesnt exactly need the world to see him beaten into the ground by a civilian, but he does start to search more aggresively for a more suitable bride.

he finds a lady with the ability to produce ice at will, and starts the marriage negotiations with her family. he doesnt like her much, but of course, no one will ever match his personality the way mitsuki does.

he tries to break things off with her as gently as possible, but she sees right through him, which is unfortunate, and also why he bears a steak-knife-shaped scar on his right hand. she storms out of the restaurant in the way that means shes holding back tears, and endeavour has never felt more like a piece of shit.

not enough to call his marriage to rei off though. they get married, and endeavour gets increasingly frustrated when each attempt at the perfect hero comes out worse than the last. when shouto is finally born, endeavour near runs to the closest temple to take a vow of celibacy - if he never has to sleep with rei again it will be too soon.

he sees mitsuki once soon after shoutos birth; a drunken mistake that she assures him they will not repeat. shes engaged to a nice man, she tells him, following along the lines of the flames above his face, a little boring but kind to her. endeavour thinks shes going to have a duller life than him, and hes bored to tears.

16 years later, he's stomping through the grounds at UA, watching his 16 year old son get his ass beat at the sports festival by a little blond goblin whos kicking and screaming and biting, and endeavour has never felt so much anger in his life.

it only gets worse when he goes up to aizawa after to inquire about the brats origins, only to have aizawa quirk a smile at him and say, half sardonically, 'i thought you would recognise bakugo mitsuki's' son.

thats when the seed of suspicion is planted. it's when shouto starts questioning the origin of quirks, that endeavour decides to pull mitsukis files and figure out what a her quirk really is. because how could ms vaseline produce wannabe hero dynamight.

he kicks himself when he sees the uses of glycerine in the industry. even if they hadnt had a child who could shoot ice from his fingertips, combined, their kid would have been the most powerful fire quirk user alive. then, curious, he pulls masarus files.

its then that he really begins to suspect mitsukis been lying to the world for 16 years. sure, its not unbelievable that the blond brat could have got his quirk from masaru and mitsuki, but it does sseem more likely that he can produce fire on will because of a relation to endeavour.

he doesnt confront mitsuki about it; what good would it do. he doesnt say anything to anyone else either, just kicks himself repeatedly for not keeping the one good thing in his life when he had it.

and thats what i have so far in the way of conspiracy theories about bakugous birth.

TLDR: bakugou is secretly mitsukis and endeavours kid but no one but mitsuki knows

thanks for letting me rant about this massive hc i have that has altered how i look at the bnha verse!! hope you enjoyed ♡

[thetisming]

okay reggie i have a very big question for you. what are all (or most) of the changes between the west-end/toronto versions of &j to the broadway/aus versions?

like what exactly was changed, added or removed. cause i know some things but not all of them

okay, lets see

for starters, in the west end & toronto versions, May said 'i dont know, i mean what would we even do? run off to someplace exotic and like, flirt with random foreign guys? okay i'm in' rather than 'oh i'm coming too. i will leave verona, and go on holiday/vacation, and live my best life, because THAT is what friends do!'

in the west end/toronto Show Me Love, William started giving a tour of paris. i dont know the exact words for the first bit, but this is how the interaction went:

William: I hope you're enjoying this other eden, this demi-paradise, this-

Anne: Okay, getting awfully wordy for a carriage driver!

William: Well I actually used to be a writer, until somebody took my job!

Anne: Okay. Just take us to Paris.

which is, tbh, the cutest thing ever. i love that interaction i wish we still had it

Francois didn't sing 'show me love and what it's all about' in west end or toronto, he just had an 8-bit version play and said nothing

in the Juliet/Frankie interaction, after Overprotected ends (Francois is cut off by Lance, which is why in the recordings he says 'hello' at the end), Lance comes in with Madeline* (insert some french last name idk), a princess that Lance wants Francois to marry. the interaction goes something like this:

Lance: Francois! This is Madeline (french last name), the crowned jewel of Paris.

Juliet: Oh, actually we were just talki-

Lance: Madeline is a princess!

Juliet: Okay! Nice to meet ya, Vaseline!

Madeline, with a french accent: Actually, it's Madeline!

Juliet: Okay? Well I may not be a princess, but I was here first! So, you can leave!

[Madeline and Lance leave and Juliet laughs]

Francois: Are you out of your mind? He will NEVER let me get away with that!

Juliet, still laughing: What's he gonna do?

Francois: Well if I don't dance-

Juliet: Oh, don't you worry Frankie. We're gonna dance.

[Confident begins]

this isnt completely accurate to the script because i cant remember very well but thats the gist of it

in most of west end they didn't have the "I just like kissing you" line, but it was added later and there for all of toronto

Since U Been Gone lines for Romeo and Benvolio that go like this:

Romeo: And I may be guilty, but you're not that... guilt free!

Benvolio: Yeah tell 'em boy, that's wassup!

which i miss SO MUCH. seriously i wish we had them still it was so cute :((

in West End One More Try, when Romeo said he's getting weirdly emotional, Juliet said 'you are weirdly emotional! and that's okay' instead of 'you are weirdly emotional, and i love that about you'

during Everybody, Angelique's sign says 'De Boi Band' rather than Lance!

Epilogue lines!

Lance: And since we are already here, perhaps a second marriage might FINALLY be arranged!

Anne: Yes, Lance and the nurse do get married!

Angelique: [something about her being married, cant remember, also Mel has a very strong accent so i cant always understand her] who will be next to catch the bouquet?

May: Uh, it's gonna be May!

Francois: And in case anyone was wondering, I no longer play the virginal!

i think thats all, but there could be more that i'm forgetting

1. Madeline is played by Imogen, who in West End was played by Rhian Duncan, Tim Mahendran (west end Francois)'s girlfriend of 2 (3?) years!

[midchelle]

Ohh, for the DVD commentary game, this bit from oh what a night! which I think about frequently:

He’ll have to wait, as it is: he’d forgotten how drunk Paul was and continues to be. Though he has sobered up a bit, getting vertical again is an ordeal, so much so that John resolves to scoop him up from under the arms and deposit him on the bed, where he lands with a little bounce. John notices that his pants are caught on his shoes and kneels to untie his laces. Sliding both boots off, he lines them neatly against the side of the bed, and when he looks up Paul is smiling at him, chin pillowed in palm. He cups John’s jaw and leans in to kiss him, just a chaste little kiss, and all of a sudden John’s eyes burn like he might cry.

We can’t have that. He rises and pinches the end of Paul’s polo neck. “Off,” he says, and goes hunting for the Vaseline.

First of all, before I started writing I looked at a picture of Paul in Austria and I thought: "That is a man who needs to be manhandled. He needs to be picked up and thrown around." So we had to sneak that in somewhere in there. I was worried about overusing the word 'little' in this, but I knew I had to use it here because 'a bounce' is simply not the same thing as 'a little bounce', and I wanted to convey a sort of sense of whimsy about Paul. I think it's because I conceive of him like he's a Loony Toons character -- like if you hit him on the head with a mallet, a big red bump would sprout out of his hair, or he sees a pretty lady he starts levitating.

But anyway, overusing words was a big thing I worried about in general. The other one was 'throat' I think, which is why I used 'oesophagus' instead of 'throat' in one place and I wake up in a cold sweat every other working day thinking about it because oesophagus is such a weird, technical term to use there. But realistically, if I wasn't going to use 'throat', it would have to be 'oesophagus' because the other options I can think of on the spot are 'gullet' -- what are we, pirates? -- or food pipe, which is even worse. At least 'oesophagus' has a pulse. I forgive you, 'oesophagus', you're a good man and you did your duty.

I think I got the idea for John taking Paul's shoes off from someone else's fic, I can't remember which one. Paul is a well-documented enjoyer of small moments where John was proper or thoughtful in little ways you wouldn't expect, so of course he'd be weak for that. John is very drunk and full of emotions, and he's just hit by the full force of his feelings for him. If he starts crying, that's going to ruin the mood and make him vulnerable in a way he isn't really ready for at the moment, so he cuts that short. It was important to me to have moments like that in there to show how much they just like each other, and of course the rejoinder to that is John going off and being like 'it's not queer for me to do this because Paul has gay eyebrows.' Are you sure about that. I think you've got a bigger problem.

[jomilky]

Jo, how are you this morning, honey? I'm here with a

question before I head to work 🥰

If you could change lan and Mickeys first meeting/

interaction, how would you change it? Why?

💜💜💜

Hey Chey! Well I slept in the whole morning cuz it’s weekend and I’d call it a huge win 🦞

Soooooooo, interesting question. I’d assume they’re still kinda in the Shameless universe and living on the southside. Ian’s still working in Kash & Grab, but the thing between him and Mandy never happens. And Mickey still robs Kash & Grab very often, but other than Pringles, barbecue sauce and snicker bars, he takes Vaseline very often for… reasons.

They never talk to each other, of course, except that time in third grade when Ian borrowed a pencil from Mickey and Mickey said he’d stab him if he talked to him again. But, out of annoyance of constantly being robbed and this weird kind of magnetizing attraction Ian finds on the infamous Mickey Milkovich, Ian soon figures that Mickey needs new jar of Vaseline a lot, like, a lot more than a person can use on his face or on any body part.

Now, Ian’s not a fool. He was not born last night and he has used whatever but lube as lube when the situation calls for it. And with that amount of lubrication, he’s sure Mickey’s gay, or at least bi, and definitely loves fun. Part of him wants to stay away from Mickey’s business, becasue, well, that’s fucking Mickey Milkovich. But another part of him wonders why Mickey only grabs Vaseline instead of the lube they have in here, because, well, he’s fucking Ian Gallagher. (Since Mickey’s not paying whatsoever, price is obviously not the problem.)

So the next time Mickey comes & robs, Ian finds himself slipping a bottle of lube in the box Mickey is abt to pick up, and being yelled at.

“The fuck’s this?!” Mickey stares at the bottle as if Ian just put a timed bomb in his box.

“It’s, um, it’s lube.” The redhead boy looks at the dirtiest white boy in America, hoping that his life doesn’t not end right here right now by being stabbed. “It’s safer.”

The blush on Mickey’s face is visible despite all the dirt and cuts and bruises.

“I dunno what the fuck you’re talking about,” Mickey mumbles before he storms out of the store, without throwing the lube out of his box or casting Ian another glance.

And that’s how the little caring redhead finds a place in the little closeted gay boy’s heart and lives there rent free, or let’s say, occupies it, ever since.

[poppy-metal]

things that I like to believe are canon part 2

•going with eddie to a hellfire meeting, even if you don’t play, sitting next to the throne you have a notebook that you use to jot down things from the campaign. the boys are arguing over what their next move should be and eddie is watching with a smirk but takes the opportunity to lean over and write ‘hi (:’ in the corner of your book

•”you got something right here-” he gestures to the corner of your mouth and you go to wipe it away but he grabs your hand and smirks “don’t worry baby, daddy’s got it” and he leans in a licks over your lips “all clean”

•eddie making a dnd npc based on you and incorporating them into the quests

•going to sleep without kissing eddie, you’ve had a long day and simply forgot, but the boy sits up obsessing until he rolls over and shakes you awake and you panic sitting up slightly “what what is it??” the street lights illuminate his features just enough that you can see his sad expression “why didn’t you kiss me??” “wha—” “where is my kiss???” you’d be annoyed if his pout wasn’t so cute but still you playfully grumble “here’s your damn kiss” before leaning in and pressing your lips to his 4 or 5 times, he hums in content and buries his face in your boobs

•literally having to feed him cause he gets so caught up in writing campaigns or making music, you sit in front of him with a bowl of food spooning it into his mouth

•you getting sick and eddie pouting cause you won’t let him kiss you but he sneaks a few in when you’re spacing, you gently scold him cause you don’t want him to get sick. “no virus will stop me from kissing my woman”

•he gets sick

•both of you sitting in bed, stuffy noses and fluffy robes and eddies just “worth it”

•eddie with the man flu being all dramatic “I’m dying baby this is it” “it’s literally the sniffles ed” “when I die you’re not allowed to fall in love with anyone else” “what?” “i said what i said” rolling your eyes and placing a damp cloth on his forehead

•trying to take his temperature with a thermometer but he tells you to kiss his forehead instead because your lips are more accurate

•asking you to apply Vaseline to his chest every 10 minutes cause ‘the effects have worn off :(‘

•if his flu is more serious you enter Doctor Mode, you call off work and sit on the bed next to him all day, making him soup and forcing him to stay hydrated “no eddie beer does not count” “aww”, filling a container with warm water and using a soft cloth to wipe him clean of the sweat

•applying cream to his raw nose, and cleaning around it when mucus starts to drip out, eddie tries to push you away cause “t’s gross baby” and you shush him cause taking care of your man is not gross and he literally did the same for you

•tying his hair back the first time he vomits

•after you’re both better eddie has a strict ‘wear a jacket whenever you leave the house’ rule

•waking up in the morning and going to relieve yourself in the bathroom and halfway through eddie walks in still half asleep and kicks your legs to the side “eddie get out what the hell?” “s’no biggie baby, scoot back a bit, yeah?” you’re still half asleep and don’t feel like arguing so you do and he relieves himself, aiming his stream in the open space between your legs, you’re blushing cause this is probably the weirdest and most intimate thing you guys have done

• that one time opens the gate for new experiences. comes in and pees when your in the bath, brushing your teeth or getting ready for the day. you’ve also noticed that he’ll wait until you need to pee before he gets up and goes with you. not necessarily sexual, boy is a lil codependent

•sits on the edge of the bath or on the counter while you bathe, talking about animatedly about a new iron maiden song he’s learning, liking being close. loves to wash your hair for you.

•loves when you wash his hair

•loves to dress you just as much as he likes undressing you

•has a box filled with mementos from your relationship. movie stub, receipt from your first date, the napkin you drew a silly picture on when you went out to a group dinner, half empty perfume bottle of his favourite scent of yours, photobooth pictures from when starcourt was still there, all the notes you’ve put in his drug box, all the post-it notes etc

•his arm constantly wrapped around you, not as a possessive thing but a comfort thing for both of you (okay he’s a little possessive)

———————

Cutting myself off again lmao

quite literally rendered me incapacitated.

[natromanxoff]

Smash Hits (September 25 - October 8, 1985): 66/?

Credits to Michael Kane.

{Living On My Own lyrics}

PREPOSTEROUS-POPINJAY-OF-POP PRODUCTIONS PRESENT

THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF FREDDIE MERCURY (SPLENDID!)

[“I love George Michael. He has a sense of dignity.”]

• He was born on 5th September 1946 in Zanzibar and went to boarding school in Bombay until 1959.

• "My real name is Pluto" he once quipped - actually his real name is Bulsara. Frederick Bulsara.

"I'm an old slag who gets up every morning and scratches his head."

• In ver late '60s he went to Ealing Art College where he played "keyboards" in a couple of very "horrible" "progressive" bands, Wreckage and Sour Milk Sea.

• He used to run a stall in smelly Kensington Antique market, selling disgusting purple loon pants (flared trousers) and other hippie-type garments.

• At Queen's early "gigs", he used to serve popcorn, which he'd with his own fair hands, to the audience.

• He thought up the group name Queen all by himself: "It's regal and it sounds splendid." He also designed the Queen crest logo.

• In 1973 he recorded a version of The Beach Boys' "I Can Hear Music" under the name Larry Lurex in an attempt (failed) to cash in on the glitter-pop boom.

• In 1974 his voice packed up thanks to irritating throat nodules and laser beam treatment was prescribed — but: "I didn't like the look of the doctor." So he went to bed for three weeks, instead.

"I'm a mother figure to many people."

• For the cover of the band's second album, punningly-titled "Queen II", he thought it would be a splendid wheeze for the band to smear themselves with Vaseline and then get hosed down: "God, the agony we went through to have the pictures taken, dear!"

• His greatest hobby is shopping for exotic objects d'art. "All my money goes to Sotheby's. And Harrods. Cartier, Asprey and Christie's. The Japanese call it crazy shopping — I walk around like the Pied Piper with hordes of people following me."

• In 1975 he produced and played "piano" on a single called "Man From Manhattan" by Eddie Howell, whoever he might be.

• In 1976 he met Elton John who told him that he liked the Queen single "Killer Queen": "Anyone who says that goes in my white book — my black book is bursting at the seams."

"I think I'm going to go mad in a few years' time."

• He used to do an inimitable imitation of Shirley Bassey singing "Big Spender" whilst sipping champagne on stage.

• In 1980 he came up with the splendid wheeze of decking out the backstage waitresses at a Madison Square Gardens concert in highheels, bikini bottoms and nothing else!!!!

[“I am so depressed by these people who still won’t admit that everything we so simply drips with originality.”]

[toru-oikawas-milkbread]

What it’s Like to Kiss Rintarō Suna

Notes: If you would like to see my other kissing headcanons posts, follow {this link} to my masterlist page 💕

<>~<>~<>

- Out of all of the boys, Suna and Oikawa are tied for #1 on the kissing scale. Suna is an absolutely amazing kisser. He knows just what to do with his tongue and lips to make your mind go completely foggy

- Suna’s lips are a tiny bit chapped. For the most part he has very soft, kissable lips, but there are times he wakes up and no matter how much chapstick he uses his lips are just a bit rough. Suna’s lips are usually very kissable looking not just because of the softness, but because they’re nice and plump. His upper lip is pretty plump, though still a little bit less than his bottom lip that’s perfect for sucking and nibbling on

- Whenever Suna’s lips get chapped, if they don’t soften up within a day, he’ll force you to do a face and lip scrub with him so they’re soft again. He uses petroleum jelly/Vaseline on them every night before he goes to sleep and after lip masks

- Suna has a very nice smell. His cologne is very prominent until he showers, so he has a sort of musky/earthly smell to him. After he showers, his shampoo and body wash also have a very strong but nice smell to it. Even when he first wakes up and his natural scent is strongest, he still smells good. At basically any point of any day, you could bury your nose into his chest and he smells absolutely amazing

- He has a very light yet distinct taste to him when you’re making out, but it’s almost indescribable. His kiss is very sweet and overall 10/10 would kiss again

- Suna is a big fan of kissing. While he doesn’t flat out have to make out with you every single time that he sees you, he wouldn’t turn it down if you wanted to make out instead of watch a movie. He cares for you a lot in different ways, but he can’t help himself when it comes to kissing; his kisses always leave you breathless but not wanting him to pull away even if you couldn’t breathe

- When he’s making out with you, Suna’s eyebrows are usually furrowed inwards a little bit because of how much he’s focusing on the kiss. He might break it every now and then to give a small smile, but without being grossly serious, he does get very into the moment. Occasionally Suna gives soft little moans into the kiss that always make your stomach flutter; one thing to ensure a smile or a teasing chuckle from him is when you start to moan into the kiss more frequently

- Suna’s kisses are very passionate, especially the longer ones. He puts his all into these kisses, so when he’s on top of you, tongue in your mouth and your hand in his hair, there’s no doubt that he loves you. They can get pretty sloppy because of how intense they get, but they can also flip from being really passionate and intense to a soft, slow kiss like the flip of a light switch

- What could ruin a kiss? Basically nothing. Aside from nothing? Yeah, nothing. This man can get walked in on, sneezed on, coughed on so long as it was just a tickle and you weren’t going to throw up, and even bit a little too hard, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop kissing you. He’ll pull back for a second, give a little laugh at the distraction or tell whoever walked in to get out, but as soon as the moment is over or the door is shut, he’s kissing you again

- Out of everything, his favorite thing to do when he’s kissing you is to give you a little light choke or to teasingly ghost his fingers along your neck to make your body tingle. He also prefers to be on top of you on the bed/sofa when the two of you are making out, however he also probably wouldn’t pass up a chance to grope your ass if you sat on his lap before he could lay you back down. Suna is also big on neck kissing, whether he abandons your lips to kiss your neck or you abandon his lips to kiss his

[doeeyeseddie]

buddie + 41 and 96

41. First Kiss + 96. Scars

so this definitely takes place during eddie’s recovery after the shooting

buck is staying with the diazes because eddie can’t do much with his arm in a sling

they’ve both broken up with their respective girlfriends but don’t really talk about the why with each other, for reasons neither of them can articulate

eddie’s not allowed to remove the dressing from his wound for another couple of days after he leaves the hospital so buck has never actually seen it

and once he does remove it, he’s worried to buck’s reaction to seeing it because it doesn’t look pretty with the stitches still in and the tissue barely healed

so he tries always covering it up, which buck notices of course because he still has to help eddie dress

eventually, buck calls him out on it, reminding him that he’s seen all kinds of shit and can handle a gunshot wound

so eddie has to come clean and admit that he’s worried about buck being reminded of That Day

and buck goes all soft and says that he doesn’t want eddie to have to be reminded of it every day on his own

so eddie agrees to let buck put vaseline on the wound like he’s been doing (or trying to do) every day

buck stares at the fresh scar for a long moment, and when he spreads the vaseline, he’s incredibly gentle but eddie can feel his fingers shaking

after he’s done, eddie takes buck’s hand in his (hating that he’s only got one right now) to stop it from shaking and because he knows that touching buck and feeling the warmth of his skin always reassures him

buck holds it and then helps him put his shirt back on, carefully buttoning it up button by button

when he reaches the top one, his fingers brush eddie’s throat and eddie swallows thickly

buck looks up and there’s determination in his eyes as he lets go of eddie’s shirt and cups eddie’s face instead

“i can’t lose you,” he tells eddie. “i can’t. you hear me?”

and eddie hears him, loud and clear, so he does the only thing he can think of in response: he tips forward and kisses buck

and buck kisses him back :)

Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story

[spacewizardtrek]

WARNING: This post will ruin you. Like Medusa; look at your peril.

But here is is. It’s the one you’ve all been waiting for.

Kirk bod appreciation #7: The RIDICULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL FACE. A highly technical and academic review.

This is a rather nebulous one. And not, on the face of it (pardon the pun) very philosophical, as it’s essentially about Kirk being stupidly pretty. This post probably will (it will) descend into just screaming and sobbing, but there will be, I promise, *some* meaningful insight into the meaning of ‘beauty’ and textual analysis of its role herein.

Beauty is subjective. But look at him. It’s not just being aesthetic, but it’s the *way* he’s aesthetic. Here I might repeat myself a bit, but stay with me. I may have mentioned before once hearing him described as ‘beautiful in the way women are often described as beautiful’. He is PRETTY. He is indeed often conveyed in the way the women stereotypically (not necessarily rightly) are on screen: perfect, smooth skin; soft, big eyes; luscious lips (his body is sensually curvaceous and furthermore it’s emphasised). He’s not androgynous though. He’s masculine. And yet I still sense what was meant in describing him as ‘beautiful in the way women are often described as beautiful’. He is a rather uncommon form of gender fuckery. He is a form of stereotype-subversion not commonly acknowledged. He seems to be everything at once, ALL THE GENDER; combines whichever traits he desires from those categories, and yet is undeniably a man and masculine whatever the ingredients. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE, one might wonder. The fact of the matter is, that it IS. And it teaches us something.

The FUCK. nO. You are not allowed to be that pretty, and you are NOT allowed to look at her like that. We’re trying to have a SENSIBLE DISCUSSION here.

Sorry, that was a non-sequitur / nothing to do with what we learn by Kirk’s embodiment; I was just ambushed by my own gif. Only the control of a Vulcan. ONLY that could possibly withstand this onslaught. And even that won’t hold up forever AS WE WELL KNOW

God.

This is going well, as you can tell.

OK. So, it’s claimed he has Eyes and Stupidly Long Weakness-Inducing Eyelashes. You know, from all that fanfic that goes on about ‘big, sparkling eyes’ and him fanning his ‘long, copper eyelashes’. I mean, yeah right, tropey mc tropeface -

IT’S TRUE. HE IS LITERALLY AN ANIME PRINCESS.

There are some moments where he just BLINKS and, how to describe it...how does a BLINK have that effect. It’s NOT ALLOWED.

...I’m sorry. It IS allowed. All of it. I am not shaming you your beauty. Never change, Jim. Never.

OK. I’m ok. 3 pics down, we can get through this -

Oh you are joking. Stop.

I don’t understand how anyone can be so beautiful. Life is a lie. Reality is fake -

- you did NOT just turn your big anime eyes on Spock. You do know this is why he ran away to PURGE ALL HIS EMOTIONS?

And for that matter, you know when Kirk looks his most beautiful? Literally WHEN HE’S LOOKING AT SPOCK. Spock talks some bollocks and Kirk just sparkles like a fucking angel:

Unbelievable. But utterly undeniable.

Sigh. Moving on.

Oh - someone once suggested I talk about The Lips. Lips are so wonderful aren’t they. So many wonderful things they can do.

And Kirk’s. They’re there in every picture: perfect, rosy, soft and madness-inducing. My advice is just...don’t think about them. But since I’ve been asked to draw attention to them, well, you’ve just sealed your fate. Scroll down at your peril.

I WARNED YOU.

I am pulling NO punches.

I’ve seen this great meme going around:

Excuse me though....CUTE?

That’s the understatement of the 23rd century.

Try impossibly beautiful, mind and body: heart of solid gold, soul deep in love with you. Those eyes and all their passion burned into your memories a thousand times over, along with - maybe, suggestibly, idk I’m extrapolating from all the goddamn tension - even the one unforgettable time he laid between lily-white sheets and gave himself to you; every gift of the mind, body and soul - and your ostensibly-forced Vulcan conditioning, that completely ignored how incompatible one part of you was with it, caused so much dissonance that you thought the only possible course of action for you both to survive was to BREAK UP, tear yourself from this beauty and love and sweetness to PURGE ALL EMOTIONS because nothing, nothing equipped you for this; you were set up specifically to fail, and fail hard in the face of transcendental love and beauty by those who rejected such things and didn’t understand you and could never imagine this for you and who instead of helping your beautiful neurodivergent brain flourish taught you to repress and caused you pain and shame and Gol was so hard and Kirk was so sad, so very sad and depressed and hurt and yet he couldn’t stop loving you with a bond so strong he called to you across the stars and Gol was all for naught yet you still didn’t know how to live like this, it was torture, torture until the mind meld with the living machine flashed your BIOS and you knew, love.exe was suddenly running with no errors and he came after you and held you and you held hands and, and -

.

*sobbing*

.

just...give me a moment

.

YOU WONDER WHAT THE SUBTEXT (FRIKKIN’ MAIN TEXT) OF STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE WAS ALL ABOUT???

The pain?? The angst?? The two logical entities seeking contact, love, THIS SIMPLE FEELING? That fucking moment when spock walks on the bridge and the only way he can control himself is to be SUPER Vulcan, while his love gazes at him with those EYES, fucking huge and glittering and hurt and loving?? Is it so much a mystery what memories these two are carrying, what’s behind the searing tension???????

Love him. Love him Spock. Take him in your arms and love him. He’s for you. All for you. Fucking hell guys. The fuck. This movie.

.

ok.

ok I can do this

CAN U NOT

those damn eyes I swear

It’s obviously not all just superficial physical beauty. What IS beauty? Narratively we do sometimes find this ‘prettiness’ enhanced and emphasized like the old vaseline lens to set the tone of a scene (he’s vulnerable and delicate, or someone’s indeed in love with him so we see their ‘lens’ on him); but it is somewhat intangible and nebulous and changeable. I don’t think aesthetic beauty, if one deems it so, on its own, would be enough for the likes of Spock (indeed, no woman could charm him thusly); it's about something deeper. It’s about who he is. Who he is inside: the beautiful AND the imperfect. How his good and bad - how his ‘all’ -  chimes with Spock’s 'all’. The Enemy Within deals with this, and shows how Spock loves all of Kirk, wants him complete, with both his light and shadow. The beauty of all of us is this totality and variance, not one intangible quality.

I’ll bet Spock’s parents knew immediately. Can you imagine Sarek trying to be a total bitch over Kirk, having heard the rumours and just wanting to have one more thing to reject Spock over, immediately projecting onto Kirk as some blow-up pretty-boy and how Incredibly More Disappointing My Son Is for being Obviously In Love With Stupid Illogical Human Doll Face Bubble Butt Bimbo Captain, and Amanda’s like, stfu, let me remind you Kirk is actually a Fucking Amazing Highly Decorated Starship Captain who Saves Your Life and don’t you DARE resent him just because he’s got tits/ass/tum/lips that won’t quit and is obviously the freakin’ sun Spock orbits. Mr ‘I married a human but that was special because it was logical’ or some bullshit. How is Kirk an illogical choice? I mean literally, Spock is a Science Genius™ on the federation’s FLAGSHIP whose well-matched Genius Captain™ understands him, accepts him, brings the best out of him, helps him fulfil his whole potential and is in love with him in the deepest and purest way and will be his bonded soulmate for ALL OF TIME and that fucking sour-faced bih at the start of that ep, ffs.

Of course Amanda stays in touch with Kirk, adores the fuck out of him, sends him old Vulcan lit on t’hy’la bonds (yes sarek, a T’HY’LA bond, so revered freakin’ poets write about it) etc because frankly her son could do FAR FUCKING WORSE.

FAR. FUCKING. WORSE.

Don’t...just don’t slip the bod into the equation, the face is enough for one post. We’re all in therapy for this already, let’s not relapse.

Oh, what’s the use. I’m gonna die. This is it. This is like the Monty Python joke that is so funny it kills you. This man is lethal. I need to stop this thread and purge all my emotions

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That’s it. I’m dead. You’re dead. We’re all dead.

I hope, however, seeing this post was worth it. See you at Gol everyone.

.

.

The Forbidden Texts, DO NOT READ:

Kirk bod appreciation #6: The Curves. The Front. The...chest. AND THE AMAZING GREEN WRAP

Kirk bod appreciation #5: The Paws

Kirk bod appreciation #4: The Curves. The Back. Poetry in motion.  

Kirk bod appreciation #3: Season 3 (Part 1)

Kirk bod appreciation #2b: The Gluteus Maximus

Kirk bod appreciation #2a: The Gluteus Maximus

Kirk bod appreciation #1: The Tum

[moronic-validity]

TOPPING DRAYTON FANFIC PLEASEEEE

ahahaha okay so this is not a fic, but it is a 1k play by play. So...kinda a fic? I guess....

This is Leatherface (2017) Drayton

Male Reader

Warnings: Petroleum Jelly/Vaseline is not lube, reader's parents are homophobic, dirty talk

18+ under the cut

- Drayton and you grew up together and were just about inseparable.

- you had a tendency to be a bit touchy feely with him, keeping an arm around him, laying on him, you've even kissed him once or twice.

-your parents kicked you out when you were 17 because 'they didn't raise a queer'

- Verna told you that you'd always have a home with her and the boys.

- That was 5 or 6 years ago. You lost count.

- you and Drayton were wrestling in the front yard instead of taking care of the hogs like Verna had asked.

- You had Drayton pinned on his stomach and were teasing him

- "Do you just like bein underneath me Dray?"

- Drayton...moaned

- oh?

- You get off of him and both of y'all are staring at each other.

- "Drayton, what in the hell was that" "Don't worry bout it"

- you worry about it

- "Dray, were you into that" "I said don't worry bout it"

- Oh my God, he was totally into it.

- You shove Drayton back onto the ground. He turns bright red.

- You smirk

- “Drayton Sawyer, do you have a little bit of a crush” you look at him and cock your eyebrow “…or a big bit of one?”

- Drayton stays on the ground this time and stares at your feet.

- “Dray…” “What” he snapped at you.

- You squatted down next to him and realized he damn near had tears in his eyes.

- You wrapped your arms around him.

- Neither of you said anything for a little while.

- You get up first and you pull Drayton up with you.

- He goes to head into the house and you grab his hand.

- “Your ma said we better finish chores before we go back inside”

- Drayton looks like a kicked puppy when you drag him off towards the barn.

- None of y’alls chores are in the barn, what the hell is this.

- You back him into the far wall of the barn

- “[y/n]…”

- you stop and watch the look on his face “Want me to stop?”

- He takes a deep breath and slams his eyes shut.

- “No.”

- You start kissing every bit of already exposed skin.

- “Hey, look at me.”

- Drayton opens his eyes

- You drop to your knees and pull down his pants.

- “want you to watch me”

- You kiss around his upper thighs and his eyes flutter shut

- You stop kissing

- “I said I want you to watch me”

- He opens his eyes again and you take him into your mouth.

- he has to stop himself from closing his eyes again.

- He’d never admit it, but he had been dreaming of this for years.

- he bucks his hips and you begin to pick up the pace

- You don’t want him to cum just yet, but with the way he’s whimpering and moaning, God, you almost don’t want to stop.

- you got up and grabbed a small thing of petroleum jelly you had tucked back behind some of the rusted tools

- You usually brought townie boys to the barn to fuck them so Verna, Jed, and Nubbins didn’t hear what you were doing

- You had dreamt of fucking Drayton here for as long as you could remember, probably since you two hit puberty and Drayton shot up like a bean pole.

- “Turn around”

- Drayton followed your directions and turns around, pushing his ass out.

- You hummed to yourself, this was going to be so good.

- you coated your fingers with the thick grease and pressed a finger against his tight hole.

- It slid right in

- You added a second finger and started pumping them

- Drayton didn’t show a single sign of discomfort, instead just pressing back against your hand.

- you swatted at his backside “You been fingering yourself?”

- “Every night since you moved in”

- He’s fucking himself on your fingers and you’re just watching at this point.

- You groan and slip your fingers out of him.

- With your other hand you fish yourself out of your pants, grab a glob of the jelly, and coat your cock in it.

- You push in slowly, trying to give him time to adjust.

- Drayton is biting his hand, trying to keep quiet so Jed doesn’t come in trying to figure out what’s up.

- You started to fuck him with slow, deep strokes.

- “Please [y/n]” he groaned

- Jesus fuck

- You pick up the pace, not caring when the sound of skin on skin fills the barn.

- He was whimpering and whining, you had your face buried in the crook of his neck.

- “You’re so fuckin needy Dray, aren’t you? Want me to fill you up? Make you my pretty little wife? That whatcha want?”

- the sound he makes is somewhere between a gasp and a whine

- “Wanna be your wife so damn bad”

- You hum in approval and reach around, starting to stroke Drayton in time to your thrusts.

- He cums first, but barely. The minute his walls clench down, you find yourself cumming, deep inside your best friend.

-Both of y’all are sweaty and panting.

- You keep your bodies pressed together, not ready to pull out just yet.

- When you finally put yourself away, you sit down.

- Drayton cleans himself up and sits down next to you, resting his head on your shoulder.

- “Shit, we still need to feed the damn pigs.”

[tonguetiedraven]

can you make something like rin having his hair permanently white and having to dye it bc he feels like an old man with the white hair? bonrin? (i feel like this is weird) (hope your pet has better teeth now i dont know what goes on in dental work)

What a fun prompt! (doggo is fine. She has a wild mouth and they had to do some surgery for her out of control gums. She's better now.)

Bonrin of course ;)

— — — — — —

Rin stared at himself in the mirror and tried not to hate what he saw. He was working through all the self-loathing and the discomfort with his more outlandish features, and some days he even got far enough to really like himself. Some days he even felt pretty damn attractive.

This was not one of those days. Mainly because of the white locks that kept falling in his eyes.

Rin was too young to have white hair. He was too young to look this old. Anytime he went to a shop, he’d find people mistaking him for an elder until they got a look at his face. Yukio had told him to stop slouching so he didn’t looked old and hunched, Ryuuji had said he still found the white hair hot, and Renzou had told him to just milk the old age thing for better service.

None of it helped the fact that Rin didn’t want to look, old, and that every time he caught a glimpse of himself in passing, his heart skipped a beat for a moment, because he didn’t just look like an old man, he kinda looked like a specific old man.

Rin was done with all of it. He was going to be his young self again, and he was going to do it now.

Just as soon as he figured out how all the dye stuff actually worked. He thought he’d done the hard part in picking out the dye. It was the closest color he could find to his old hair color, a little bit blue, and fairly dark, and he’d even found mascara to math, because damn-it-all if his stupid eyelashes hadn’t turned white too.

He got waterproof, in the same brand that Izumo wore because she seemed like she knew what she was doing, and it was the same brand of dye Renzou used. Rin knew that because he’d snuck through Renzou’s garbage like a creep instead of asking. He just… if they knew he was going to do it, he knew they’d try and tell him not to, and he didn’t want to be told not to. He wanted to dye his hair and he was going to do it.

But wow, there were a lot of instructions on the box, the writing was small, and Rin wasn’t positive he’d read all of them right. Plus, he had to dye his hair and his tail, and he wasn’t sure how easy that was going to be to do, because he couldn’t exactly twist around enough to see it properly.

Still, he had everything he should need, he had on old clothes, and he had a few hours before Ryuuji should finish with whatever he kept doing with Light.

Rin picked up the box again and read the steps.

“Rin?”

He didn’t notice the first curious call of his name. He didn’t notice Ryuuji at all until his boyfriend’s hand dropped onto his shoulder and squeezed. At that point he jumped and nearly flung the box.

“Babe!” Rin squeaked, blushing and stammering. “Didn’t, uh, expect to see you!”

Ryuuji frowned, eyes darting around to all the supplies set out on the counter. “I sent a text? Tried to call?” His handsome eyes returned to Rin. “Are you trying to dye your hair?”

Rin’s eyes dropped to the box in his hand. Was there anything else he could pretend to be doing? At all? What other reason could you have dye in your hand than to dye your hair?

“I’m only asking, because it looks like you’re missing a few things? Have you ever done it before? I can help?”

Rin’s tail drooped. “What am I missing?”

“Well, I don’t see any cleaning wipes, and you’ll want some vaseline if you’ve got it. And clips? Makes it easier if you section your hair first. Here,” he took the box from Rin’s hands and set it on the sink edge. His fingers curled around Rin’s wrist, and gently tugged him around so they were facing. “Trust me?”

Rin nodded slowly. He could feel his cheeks heating up, and he wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment at being caught or the warm feeling of having Ryuuji’s hand anywhere near him.

Ryuuji’s grin came quick with Rin’s nod. “Great. Then let’s get ya ready. But first,” Ryuuji’s other hand reached up to curve around Rin’s jaw as his fingers tangled in Rin’s hair, and drew him into a sweet kiss. The kind of kiss that always made Rin’s heart feel fluttery and happy.

“Hi,” Ryuuji murmured against his lips, “missed ya today.”

Rin could feel his tail lifting in a wag, and wasn’t embarrassed by that. “Hi yourself. Sorry I missed your call.”

Ryuuji kissed him again. “That’s okay. You can make it up to me later.” With one last kiss, Ryuuji let him go and went towards the cabinet Yukio and Rin had installed. He pulled it open, perused through the items inside, and pulled a few out before returning to Rin’s side.

“First, I’m gonna clip this wild mop of yours back.”

Rin stuck his tongue out even as his lips quirked up with a grin.

“Then,” Ryuuji swept Rin’s bangs out of his face with an easy motion, “I’m gonna put some vaseline on your head so the dye doesn’t mess with your skin. Otherwise you’ll actually look like the bluebell and blueberry we’re always calling you.”

Ryuuji clipped his hair back, and smoothed the gooey vaseline against his face, smudging some on his nose just to tease, and Rin didn’t even notice as all the anxiety he’d been carrying around from the moment he’d decided to dye his hair just melted away. He didn’t notice much of anything but Ryuuji’s smiles, low chuckles, and warm, certain touches as his boyfriend prepared him for the dying.

Turning him back towards the mirror. Ryuuji murmured instructions for each step as he performed it. A low, hypnotizing string of words right in Rin’s ears that he had no hope of actually remembering. He could only watch Ryuuji’s hands as his stupidly white hair slowly turned back to the dark bluish-black it had once been. He watched Ryuuji’s confident hands, trying to remember what he was doing, and he watched as he slowly started to look like himself again.

“Now,” Ryuuji stepped back, looking satisfied with his work, “for the tail. Want me to do it, or do you wanna try it?”

Rin’s tail flicked along Ryuuji’s arm. He didn’t trust a lot of people with his tail. It hurt like hell if they were rough, and any time the fur went the wrong way it was the most horribly annoying sensation.

Ryuuji wasn’t rough, and it always felt relaxing to have him brush his fingers through Rin’s tail. Still…

“Can I try? I mean, I can’t get the base, but I can get the rest?”

Ryuuji’s fingers slipped through the fur on his tail, and Rin shivered. “Sounds good.” He pressed against Rin’s back to reach around him for the dye, even though it would have been easier to just step around, and took longer about doing it than he needed to. Rin soaked up the affectionate touch and tried to keep himself from leaning back into Ryuuji’s solid warmth.

It seemed to take only a handful of seconds for Ryuuji to finish his portion of Rin’s tail, and he felt like a contented pile of goo by the time Ryuuji was finished.

“Swear you’re part cat,” Ryuuji muttered with an amused smile, “ya always seem to start purring whenever you get relaxed.”

“Can’t help it,” Rin replied blithely as he took the tools from Ryuuji. He swallowed, met Ryuuji’s gaze, and tried to appear confident.

“Don’t stress, babe,” Ryuuji squeezed his elbow, “I’m right here. I’ll stop you if it looks like you're gonna do something wrong. Can’t have you looking bad.”

Rin carefully pressed a kiss to cheek.

It wasn’t as hard as he thought it’d be, but it was still tricky. Still, this was probably easier than doing the hair on his head. He could move his tail around and see all of it fairly easily.

“You know,” Ryuuji said as he reclined back against the counter and watched Rin work, “you’ve got the advantage of white hair. You can dye it any color you want without having to bleach.” He smirked. “Shima will be so jealous.”

Rin considered himself as he combed the last bit of dye through his tail. “What colors should I go with?”

“As many as you want. You could do streaks, or solids, or hell, even gradient it. You got all the possibilities open to you.”

Rin set his supplies aside and released his tail. He tried to make sure it stayed back and away from Ryuuji and anything it might stain. Ryuuji helped him rinse out his hair and get rid of all the vaseline, and when he straightened to look at himself again, he smiled. That was the Rin he wanted to be. He looked like himself.

A glance showed Ryuuji staring as well. He had a small, fond smile on his lips, and it made Rin’s chest fill with warmth to see.

“Looks good.”

Rin beamed and turned to face his boyfriend. Throwing his arms around Ryuuji’s shoulders, he squeezed him close and pressed his damp head against Ryuuji’s cheek. “Thanks,” he murmured, grateful and giddy. “Now come on. I’m gonna make you a snack and then I wanna hear all about whatever weird thing Light has you doing now.”

Ryuuji groaned. “Yes, food, please. And you’re not going to believe it.”

Rin laughed and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand. This time when he walked by the mirror, it wasn’t to see any old man, it was just a mop of dark bluish hair, and a taller mop of warm brown hair. Just the way it should be.