#so grateful for bringing this tumblr back to life and sticking with it

[youdontjustgiveup]

merry christmas friends!! may all your days and nights be bright.

[grenade-attack]

Another day of missing my Arch.

Lately I’ve been thinking back to old messages, and looking back to the ones I still have left of him (screenshots and such, and photos of him). I still miss him alot. If by chance he comes back to Tumblr some day, whether under a different alias, I hope we will find a way to speak once more. The friendship and caring love I felt with him during our short time together shifted my perspective in some ways. On the surface, he seemed horrible, how he portrayed himself and how he described himself was nothing less than unsavory. But, underneath all of that, was a guy who just needed a good friend. Still, I’m glad I could bring him comfort and support when he needed it most. He’s sincere, caring, and ultimately a great friend. Though our time together was cut short, I still consider him a dear friend and one I won’t forget about. Atleast I still have remnants of his presence. Something that sticks with me is when we were matching Halloween outfits, and sent eachother photos. I took a photo of me and his name on a slip of paper, and he loved it. I still have the paper folded in my wallet, yeah corny I know. I don’t know why I’m grieving over someone who’s (hopefully) not dead. Whether he got interrogated by the Feds or FBI, I hope he’s safe and gets the help he deserves. He opened up to me, and for that I’ll always be grateful for. I will never consider him an "old friend" or "ex friend" because a piece of me will always cling onto the hope that he will return, and I'll have my Arch back. Though I can't feel his pain, I think of him everyday. I saw a pureness in him that nobody in his life cared to see. I wish I was more outwardly affectionate, more loving. I just wish we could've spoken one last time. I wish I could’ve told him how much he meant to me, that all the struggles and burdens he carried he didn’t have to go through alone. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

“And you never knew how much I really liked you. Because I never even told you, oh and I meant to”

Come back home Archie, I miss you dearly.

These are all the screenshots I have left of him, but I hold so many more memories in my heart and mind.

I’d give anything just to see him again, just to talk to him again.

[semperama]

Soak + dosh please

This is way too long for tumblr and I'm sorry, but it totally ran away with me. Also there is going to be a Part 2, I promise. Also I'll put it on AO3 later when I can think of a title lmao. Please forgive me because I have no idea how to write Josh yet, but this was fun!!

----

It’s probably crazy for Daniel to be in the back half of his 30s and still feel like a fucking imposter all the time.

He opens the door to Josh tossing a football back and forth from hand to hand, mouth curved into a grin, and has to bite down on the inside of his cheek just until it hurts, just to make sure this is real. He heard a story once—maybe an urban legend—about a man who was in a coma and thought he lived a whole entire life, great job and wife and kids and the whole nine. Sometimes he thinks that could be him. F1 driver, friends with fucking—movie stars and NFL players. It’s all a little much when just a minute ago he was a kid with goofy hair and crooked teeth and a sense of humor no one got.

“Hey,” Josh says, with his stupid handsome face. “Good to see you, man.”

Daniel steps back to let Josh in and wills the blood vessels in his face to fucking cool it. “Welcome to my humble abode,” he jokes. Another thing to be self-conscious about, this stupid-huge house that’s always empty. It’d be great for parties, but Daniel’s never thrown one.

They should have made other plans, Daniel thinks. A concert. A movie. A bar. Hanging out at home—who does that? Teenagers?

“Humble indeed,” Josh says with a chuckle, elbowing Daniel in the ribs as he walks by. “They don’t pay you anything to drive those cars, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m barely scraping by.” Daniel settles into the banter, grateful for it. “Can I get you anything? I have water, stale bread, maybe some mouse droppings…”

Josh throws his head back at that one, his laugh sending electric tingles down Daniel’s spine. “No beer hidden anywhere?” he asks, and Daniel grins at him, indulgent.

“I think I can rustle one up for you, maybe.”

He waves Josh out to the patio and then heads into the kitchen to grab two bottles out of the fridge. It’s the middle of the season, just a couple weeks until he has to be in Austin, so he probably should be sticking to clear liquor if anything, but who’s here to judge him?

“Did you bring that for me?” Daniel asks when he emerges into the sunshine, nodding at the football Josh cradles in one palm as the takes the beer bottle from Daniel with the other.

The corner of Josh’s mouth tilts upward. “You just about creamed yourself last time we tossed the ball around,” he says. “I figured I’d make your day.”

“My year, more like.” Daniel can’t deny it; Josh has his number on this one. “I don’t want you to be bored, though. You do this for a living.”

“You ever get tired of racing?” Josh asks.

Daniel chuckles, shaking his head. “Touche.”

There’s no grassy field behind Daniel’s house to play in, but they make do with the long strip of pool deck, all the chairs pushed to the side. At first, they just toss the ball back and forth lazily. That’s honestly enough for Daniel, just watching the satisfying spiral of the ball and feeling the slap of leather against his palms. It’s warm and breezy and Josh keeps grinning at him—he could do it all fucking day.

But eventually he gets antsy, wants to make sure Josh is still having fun, so he starts trying to make things difficult, prancing back and forth, sometimes running to the other side of the pool. It feels better when Josh is laughing at him. It feels like he’s pulling his weight.

“Come on, really throw one,” he says, holding his hands up in preparation. Josh chuckles at him, pulls his arm back, hesitates, and then lets it fly. This time, when it hits Daniel’s hands, the sound is loud, echoing. It fucking stings.

Daniel wants it again.

“Is that, like, your maximum?” he asks as he lobs it back.

Josh grins and shakes his head. “Nah, man. I don’t want to hurt you. You gotta be able to hold a steering wheel in a few days.”

“Oh, come on,” Daniel says, hopping from foot to foot and shaking out his arms. “You won’t hurt me. I can take it.”

Josh quirks and eyebrow at him. “You sure do talk a big talk, Ricciardo.”

All the blood rushes to Daniel’s face. He can only hope he’s already red enough from exertion and the sun that Josh won’t notice. Josh seems so fucking implacable, but Daniel’s been soaked in sweat and breathing hard for a while now, his t-shirt clinging to his chest. He pinches the fabric and unsticks it, letting some of the breeze in, but doesn’t help much.

“Just once,” Daniel says, unable to help the pleading note in his voice. “I want to know what it’s like.”

Josh walks over to the table near the house where their sweating beer bottles sit and takes a long swig. Daniel watches the bob of his throat, watches him lick the moisture from his bottom lip when he sets the bottle back down. When he turns back toward Daniel, he starts tossing the ball from hand to hand again, putting a spin on it, the silence stretching until it makes Daniel’s skin prickle with discomfort.

“Alright,” Josh says at last, “but I don’t want to hear your crying if it hurts.” He beckons Daniel with two fingers. “Come here. I need to show you how to catch it first.”

“I know how to catch it,” Daniel says, but he jogs over anyway.

“You know how to catch a ball thrown by a buddy,” Josh says. When Daniel stops a couple feet away, Josh lunges for his wrist and drags him in closer. “You don’t know how to catch a pass thrown by one of the most powerful arms in the NFL.”

“Fuck,” Daniel says, embarrassingly, out loud. He jerks his wrist out of Josh’s hand and wipes his palms on his shorts. “Fine, fine. Show me, then.”

Josh tucks the ball into his armpit, then cups his hands together, a foot or so out from his chest. “This is the way you have been catching it,” he says. “Which is good if you’re a professional receiver. But this time—” He brings his hands to his chest and turns his palms upward— “let it hit your chest first and kinda fall into your hands.”

He motions for Daniel to show him, and Daniel mimics his hand placement as best he can, hands cupped near his stomach. Josh rolls his eyes and puts his hands under Daniel’s, nudging them upward and squeezing, molding them into the shape he wants. His fingers are softer than Daniel thought they’d be, maybe a little callused but still gentle. Daniel can feel his heart thundering against his ribs, and he can only hope Josh can’t feel it too, close as he is.

“And, uh,” Daniel says, voice cracking, “what’ll happen if I don’t to it right?”

“Oh, nothin’ much.” Josh grins, winks at him. “Just a broken finger or two, maybe. But I hear you already have some experience with that anyway.”

Daniel lets out a nervous, high-pitched giggle. “Christ.”

“I’m just messing with you,” Josh says. “I’ve never broken anyone’s fingers.” He pushes on Daniel’s shoulder, like he’s trying to wrestle some of the tension out of him, then points past Daniel’s ear to the far side of the pool. “Go to that corner over there. Then put your hands like I showed you. I’ll put the ball where it needs to be, and you’ll be fine.”

If Josh keeps talking like that, Daniel’s pretty sure he’s going to embarrass the hell out of himself. His shorts are too loose, too thin, and he’s already half hard in them. He wonders, sometimes, if players get like this during games, if it’s normal to be turned on by the perfect tight spiral or the smack of leather against your skin. He’s not sure if it’s the game, the thrill of it, or if it’s Josh, all that power right up close, all of it focused on Daniel.

He turns and jogs back over to the far side of the pool, getting as close to the edge of the deck as he dares. Sweat is dripping into his eyes, and swiping a forearm across his head doesn’t help much. After this, a cold shower. He fucking needs it.

“Alright,” Josh calls to him, “you ready?”

Daniel puts his hands in position and looks to Josh for approval. “Like this?”

“That’s fine,” Josh says. “A little higher, maybe.” Daniel brings his hands up another inch, and Josh nods at him. “That’s good. Now…don’t move.”

The windup feels like it takes forever. Daniel watches Josh’s arm, the bulge of his bicep, the way the muscles of his forearm shift as he brings the football up past his ear. His feet jig a little, his body arcs back. The expression on his face—it’s like he’s already so fucking pleased with himself, and he ball hasn’t even left his hand yet. Daniel wants to reach down and adjust himself, but he can’t move. He isn’t allowed to move. Josh told him not to.

Then, suddenly, the ball is shooting through the air, so fast Daniel can’t even track it like he should. Good thing Josh is a pro and didn’t need Daniel to track it. It hits his chest right where it was supposed to, so hard it nearly knocks the wind out of him, and his fingers curl around it instinctively, hugging it into his body.

“Holy fuck, mate,” Daniel says in disbelief. His palms are still stinging from the last throw, and now his chest aches, and—he feels like he’s losing his mind, but he wants more. It’s still not enough. He wants to catch ten more passes like this. Twenty. He wants his whole chest to hurt, his whole body to be one big bruise.

“You okay?” Josh says, and suddenly he’s right there in front of Daniel again, prying the football out of his hands. “All good?”

“Yeah, I—” Unthinkingly, Daniel reaches down and lifts up the hem of his shirt, looks down at his chest. He expected—maybe was hoping—to see a mark there already, but the skin is just a little red, a faint starburst in the center of his breastbone.

“You’ll have a hell of a bruise there tomorrow,” Josh says. He pokes the spot with two fingers, and the throb of pain makes Daniel’s dick throb in sympathy. If Josh looks down, Daniel’s fucked.

Of course, Josh does look down.

“Hmm.” The sound comes from somewhere deep in Josh’s chest, and this time Daniel’s whole body throbs. “Is that for me? Or the ball?”

That nervous laugh bubbles out of Daniel’s mouth again. He feels so fucking unsexy right now, like he’s in one of those nightmares where’s he’s shown up to school in his underwear. “I dunno, dude,” he says. “You get a personal demonstration of the talent of someone you admire and see how you react.”

“Mhm,” Josh hums again, thoughtfully this time. “No, I know.”

He touches Daniel again, pressing his thumb against the spot on Daniel’s chest and rubbing gently. Anymore of this, and Daniel’s going to have to climb out of his own skin. He takes a deep, shaky breath and pastes on a smile, then steps backward so Josh’s hand is hovering in midair, nothing left to touch.

“Anyway.” Daniel steps out of his shoes. He tugs his shirt off the rest of the way, refusing to notice whether Josh is still looking or not. “I gotta get out of this heat. You coming?”

He’s a coward, but he doesn’t wait for Josh’s answer, only steps around him and takes a flying leap into the pool. The cool water closes over his head like relief. He floats there, weightless, until his lungs burn.

[kammieceleek]

A Personal Farewell to a Fic

So...

I've done these before, usually as a last note for a fic I did very few author's notes on, but I've never done one on Tumblr and most people probably don't want to hear this, but fuck it, I'm writing it.

This is my personal farewell to Bride of the Monster Duke, a fic that to this day is my longest and most popular and will probably remain so for quite a while. It's a fic that has a lot of meaning to me as a project and a symbol of how far I've come in a decade of writing fanfiction, and looking back on those ten years I've definitely come a long way from that lonely thirteen-year-old writing Warriors and Gravity Falls fanfic in her room.

And honestly, to that thirteen-year-old, I wanna say you've got this. Don't stop writing, don't stop creating, don't give up on anything because one day, you're gonna write things that people will love. You're finding yourself in your work, someone that people will love and care about deeply if you just take the time to put it out there and find those people.

Anyway, this is about a current work done by me in my twenties, not soothing my inner child, heh.

I started BOTMD as a personal project last May, inspired by a love of romance fantasy manhwa, at the time not realizing that not only would it become my most popular story ever but it would lead me to meeting friends online, people I probably never would've met otherwise. Star (love you so much, funky little internet-sis) and I were in the same server, but the same could not be said of Storm (love you too, big internet-sibling!). I only got into contact with them because I put this particular work out and they read it. And that's not even mentioning all the artists who for some unknown reason thought my writing was good enough to make art for it.

I was utterly flabbergasted with how much love BOTMD received, and I cannot be more grateful than I already am for everyone who's ever read the fic. Whether you found it on day one or you're finding it a year from now, everyone who's given the story this level of love and support deserves the biggest fucking internet hug I can give.

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you to the artists who brought this brainchild to life.

Thank you to Dana Terrace and the Owl Crew for bringing me this show that I fell in love with.

Thank you to Hunter and Willow for being my biggest inspiration and the source of my biggest writing streak in years.

Thank you to Star and Storm for sticking by me with this story and helping me write it, even when I was being weird and crazy, and for being my partners on our next project, Legends of Gravesfield.

And of course, thank you to the readers, because you guys made sure this story went around and more people read it.

Love all of you.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

[pixies-and-poets]

Bramble’s Fanfic Collection

Hi friends!! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while: since I don’t, as of yet, post my work on AO3 or anywhere else besides here, I wanted to get together a collection of my writing. I will keep this post current, so if you are looking at this from a reblog, be aware that it might not be up to date unless you visit the original post!

This isn’t everything I’ve written in my life, of course, but it’s everything that lives here. I have much older stuff that I might port over here gradually if I decide I’m still happy with it. 

Nothing I write is too explicit, but it sometimes may deal with body horror, injury, death, and distressing themes such as depression and suicidal ideation. Content warnings are given on individual posts.

Fanfics are collected into general fandom categories below. Thanks to anyone who’s ever read, commented on and enjoyed my work!

Super Mario RPG

I first played SMRPG over half of my lifetime ago, but it never really captured my imagination until the remake came out. Being older, I felt like I was in a better spot to appreciate some of its more subtle themes, and became enamored with the Smithy Gang in particular. I haven't written all that much yet, but I'd like to do more.

The Forging - A Spear is born.

Smithy Gang Headcanons - My personal timeline and background from which I hope to eventually build more ideas.

Mack/Claymorton Headcanons

Mario + Rabbids

This is the fandom that brought me back to tumblr and got me to stick around, and also got me writing on my own again after ages of drought. Years ago I would have never believed that rabbids would get me to write so much, but here I am, and I’m grateful for it!

Most of these so far are about Woodrow and Palette Prime more generally, because that’s where my brain lives, and the catastrophe poet is very special to my heart. I’ll eventually branch out more though, I swear.

I write a bunch of Phandrow (Phantom x Woodrow) stuff specifically; it started out with me trying to justify a crackship to my own brain and then whoops! I became obsessed

Of Verses and Curses 

My magnum opus of fanfics, as of yet, and the longest work of fiction I have written independently in my life, this is a story of finding the person who loves you even if your passion in life seems to only bring failure and misfortune. It’s a deeply personal story built off a lot of my own feelings and struggles. It’s also a story about two gay rabbids who have never canonically met. [Phantom x Woodrow, also includes plenty of Dryad x Sweetlopek] 

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Epilogue

Music of the Night

The dark inverse to Of Verses and Curses, set in the Sparks of Despair AU created by @pastelprince18​, this is a far more upsetting tale of doomed love and unhappy endings. There is a monster at the end of this book.

(Body horror warning, especially at the end, so just be aware before you get invested.)

Chapter One - In Sleep He Sang to Me

Chapter Two - Do I Dream Again?

Chapter Three - Our Strange Duet

Chapter Four - To Glance Behind

Chapter Five - Those Who Have Seen Your Face

Chapter Six - Where Night is Blind

Chapter Seven - Angel of Music

Other Woodrow or Phandrow stuff

Bwahstrella’s Warning - an exploration of what might happen when you push the galaxy’s own disaster poet to the heights or the depths of his passion. [Phantom x Woodrow]

Poetry Slammed - Sweetlopek’s perspective of a certain boat incident. [Sweetlopek and Woodrow, platonic]

Happy Phandrow Things - not really a fanfic so much as a collection of thoughts/headcanons but they make me happy so they’re going here, gosh darnit!

The Eulogist - Woodrow necromancer AU. Not sure I need to say more than that. [character death and slight body horror warning]

Wolf of the Woods - An exploration of a Werewolf Woodrow AU! While not much in itself, people liked it; not only did it spearhead a lot of fun discussion/art, but it’s pretty much what got me writing again and therefore led to EVERYTHING above!

Unmerged - Not really a fic, but an exploration of an idea that makes me too sad to think about too much D:

An Appeal to the Heavens - In a time long past, a poor poet makes a desperate plea to the god he yearns to serve.

Pocket Poet, Part 1 | Part 2 - my one exploration of the Borrower AU: tiny Woodrow experiences the theatrical world of his lover, up close and personal.

Non-Woodrow Stuff (wtf, it DOES exist)

Something from Nothing - before we really knew what the Tower of Doooom was about, we had thoughts. Unhappy thoughts. [featuring Spawny and extra-evil Phantom]

M+R Timeline Analysis - Not a fic, but some background on how I view this universe.

Tools of the Traitors - A mini Super Paper Mario crossover between Kanya and Dimentio.

The High Seas AU

Sirens and Soliloquys - a pirate poet who bears a curse in secret is tempted by a siren's song, and gets more than he could have possibly imagined as a result.

Further worldbuilding and character background ideas for the AU!

Sea Legs - just a little more Phandrow silly sweetness

The Vampire [Phanpire?] AU

A Phandrow-centric AU that really speaks for itself, collaboratively created. Usually Phantom is the vampire and Woodrow his willing prey, but sometimes the roles are reversed, sometimes the ""victim"" is Prima Donna (Phantom's drag persona), sometimes they're both vampires- look, we like to have fun here.

As a general warning, pretty much anything in this collection will deal with blood and mild injury.

A Bite for Good Luck - my starting point for this AU, and its companion piece from Tom's perspective.

Burning Like The Sunrise - a little prequel to the above. A tale of passion at first bite.

One Paw in the Grave - Woodrow learns just how vulnerable a vampire can be.

Bat's Eye View - A vampire shows his beloved the world as he sees it.

Batsong - Lord Phan runs into misfortune; but thankfully, it's only of a rather amusing kind.

Various Vampire Phandrow Ideas: A Duet | The Lord's Protection | Thoughts on Sleep | Something More Than Blood | Nothing Wasted | Paeans to Prima Donna | Sacred Anatomy

Donkey Kong/Banjo-Kazooie/Rare-Playtonic Universe

A Donkey Kong’s World - this is a narrative record of the homebrew D&D campaign I was in, and includes elements from all of the things mentioned above, as well as Sea of Thieves and the Mario series. I’m including it here because not only was I involved as one of the characters, but I actually novelized most of the whole story (taking over from our DM who did the first few chapters) based on our session recordings. It was an extremely special experience for me, and is quite a long read, but if you’re a big fan of any of these franchises I think you might enjoy coming along with us. [Link is external and goes to the forum where the story is hosted.]

Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga (+ Bowser’s Minions)

These are years old, from before my tumblr hiatus, so they may not be quite up to my current standards... but I still like them.

Anamnesis - While Popple and Rookie plan their biggest heist yet, Rookie tries to remember who he is... and almost does.

Wallflower - In the quiet moments, Captain Shy Guy realizes just how much he cares about that silly Goomba... [Captain Shy Guy x Captain Goomba]

The Stolen Birthday - a little headcanon for a Popple backstory.

That’s all for now!!

[crazykuroneko]

My IWTV S2 EP 3 musings

Rewatched the episode while waiting for Episode 4. There have been a lot of great metas here that I have reblogged, so I won't repeat them. So, these are things I am still picking up anyway

• Daniel didn't bring his laptop outside Loumand's penthouse. So, the hacking is an inside job? Rashid? From internet? Is that what air drop is? (yes, I have never used Apple in my life)

• 100 nights. so TdV was supposedly 3 months-ish when Lestat left

• *insert that Comic Book Resources article about how great IWTV using their music, because that violin during the Lesmand theatre box scene is so chef's kiss*

• What stands out the most from Armand's retelling of his past + the end of this episode: how little his power is over his flock (supposedly).

• Also, the new way of storytelling: fade out from an image of TdV burning. I assume this means they continue the interview after Loumand finish with their business and Daniel doesn't interrupt them at all? Tbqh, I don't really like it.

• Louis: outside Chicago. Claudia Springfield

• "I remember what I remember" isn't that the crux of this show?

• Ghostat appeared right when the conversation turned into about him and Armand. Aw Louis.

• Meanwhile, Armand always mentions his coven when they get serious.

• *Santiago's having a chat with Claudia* so before I kill my victims, I have a chat with them. See you on stage, Claude! - I hate (affectionately) these writers!

• OH SHIT CLAUDIA ANSWERED WHEN SANTIAGO ASKED ABOUT HER LIFE IN CHICAGO! it's supposed to be Louis' town. I mean, her answer is right, she's from Springfield. But normal non lying people would have said, "Oh, the one from Chicago is Louis, I'm from Springfield"💀

• Santiago, after Claudia talks about lying and confirming where Louis came from: stick with it, Puce. You're almost there 💀💀

• So unlike memories which vampires can see like picture shows, Ghostat only can be seen by Louis. Others can't see what he's doing. But Armand can sense him.

• There have been a lot of great talks about Claudia's scene on Tumblr and how it relates to the previous season and her whole self. But once again, I'm very grateful for this show. How careful they are presenting her story. There's literally no music whatsoever to add some "drama". You just hear the clock ticking. The shot is just of her face and Louis'. We're there with them, we're there with Louis listening to Claudia telling what happened to her in detail for the first time. That's a careful storytelling, that's a respect.

• It's so funny how we watched the Five Great Laws and a lot of people went "but Lestat still lives!" no one remembers they did kill Antoinette 🤣😭

• I find it so sad that even after losing Children of Darkness, Armand has TdV and still uses the laws, something that isn't part of Lestat's suggestion. I think Lestat would find it very ridiculous if he finds they still use those laws. Armand even picked five laws that he could maintain throughout the years out of a hundred(?). He can't help but go back to them .

• Loumand: *kissing*

Me: *kissing The Five Great Laws in the IWTV S2 OST album* my favorite tracks never fail to deliver 😭😭😭

[autumntouched]

Tumblr Crash Course/Welcome

I'm still not over learning some of you joined tumblr because of Talk to Me 😭😍🥹

**Please excuse any terms I use incorrectly and feel free to correct me 🫠 I’m becoming my mom with my slipping grasp of technology 😭 **

Sorry, this site isn't the most intuitive, but I find it much easier as a writer to interact with readers here. I love that people can send me private messages/chats with their thoughts 💗 If you’re new, here's a little TGM fandom tumblr crash course:

First, I love this fandom. The writers are so talented but also incredibly kind. You may see us occasionally have meltdowns around "likes" and interactions, so I'll start there…

There are a lot of things about tumblr that don't make it entirely user friendly, including not having a "save" option for posts that you want to come back to. Enter the "like." On most other social media platforms, a like carries weight. On tumblr, a like can feel ambiguous to a writer because of its dual function as a bookmark

Therefore, generally, the best way to communicate your appreciation for a fic is to reblog it (to raise its visibility) or comment (to let the writer know you read and appreciate their work). If you’re looking at a post, the “reblog�� option is the square of arrows. A window will open for you to add a comment and/or gif and/or image and/or Tags. Tags can serve as comments and/or a way for you to organize the the content you’re interacting with (helpful if you want to find it later). Once you post, the reblog appears on your blog for your followers to see

A “comment” can be left with a little speech bubble. Note that a comment goes on the original post, so if the writer is adding to a post that they’re reblogging, you have to tag their blog for them to see it. Apologies, not the clearest explanation, but you’ll get the hang of it!

But not every reader is comfortable with that visibility! Anonymous “asks” are a great way to share a little love. The option to send an “ask” is at the top of a writer’s blog if their asks are “open.” It’s usually a button with some clever way of saying “talk to me.” Lol, which is mine as a nod to Phoenix’s “Talk to me, Bob.” Just dropping a note, a screaming gif, a heart to say “i love your work” means the world. If you’re requesting something, it’s nice to lead with some kind of acknowledgment to the writer. Know that the writer will reshare your thoughts publicly though! So make sure to switch to “anonymous” mode before you start writing so you don’t forget when you post 😊

Also, personally, my messages are always open, and I love hearing from you there too!

That said, even with those varied options, saying anything can be a huge and terrifying stretch for readers, and that’s where I don’t really have an answer 💗 What can I say? When you give up time and important aspects of your life to put words to screen, it helps to know and feel that time is well spent. But I also want this space to feel welcome and open to everyone so demanding that people engage in a certain way, and in any way that is harmful to their well-being, is not conducive to everyone feeling safe and included. A communication work in progress, I guess 😅

I hope you stick around long enough to feel comfortable engaging but if not, I still hope my stories bring you joy 💗 I’ve had to de-prioritize writing quite a bit for the time being but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wanting to get to know you all or thinking about you as I’m going about my day or cheering you on when I know you’re going through a tough time or also an amazing time. Life can be pretty rough, so I try to live by the motto “be kind.” I hope you feel that here, and I’m so grateful for the connections I’ve made through our shared love for TGM

xx

[more-than-a-princess]

[ hello, rae! i still have some time left before the new year begins for me, but i just wanna thank you for making my experience in the rpc a fun, uplifting one. ofc, i know i ended up taking a massive hiatus from kensuke and couldn’t even bring myself to write him long term (since i ended up hyperfixating over other characters and trying to get more interactions on him was like pulling teeth), but it still means a lot you welcomed me back with open arms!

like, i can’t express enough how grateful i am you ended up rolling with my obscure muse choices and just being open minded enough to explore different relationship dynamics with them, whether they be romantic or platonic. HONESTLY, i might not always be around anymore (due to the fact i have work 🥲), but you are seriously one of those few friends i made that make being here worth it; in fact, i ended up initially regaining my love and passion for writing because of you, when previously, i had lost all the spark i had in it following the nasty fall out i had with former partners… and was deeply insecure over my own writing, to the point where for the longest time, i didn’t think i would actually reach a point where tumblr rp would be a hobby i could enjoy again; only, i’m glad i ended up sticking with it, because in the end, i got to reconnect with you and other people i would never have met/written with provided i never stayed.

REGARDLESS, YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN NOTHING BUT KIND AND PATIENT TOWARDS ME, so in 2023, i strive to not only be a good rp partner, but a good friend to you as well (even if i do happen to be significantly younger than you). but yeah, here’s to another year of interactions between our muses! HONESTLY, i look forward to seeing what mischief and shenanigans these blorbos get up to. ]

Tell me stuff at the end of 2022 or beginning of 2023 because what is time/time is a social construct - Accepting if still want to. Otherwise it's going to be thread replies, shitposts, and starter memes/possibly call for new muns and muses!

Aww, Livi, you are so kind! Thank you so much for sending this, it brought a smile to my face as I read it. As I've mentioned before: I care far more about roleplaying with you and the joy you have for your muses, no matter who the muses are. Your enthusiasm shines through each and every time (also, each and every time Sonia never fails to pester/be a nuisance to your muses so...that's what you sign up for each time).

And while we all hate work (eff work is a common saying in my house), I hope that no one ever manages to rob you of your passion for writing and roleplaying. I'm so sorry you were hurt by others, but in my opinion, never let anyone else ruin your fun around here. Write because you have stories to tell, because you love to write, because you don't know what you'd do without the creative outlet here.

Let's leave haters behind in 2022! If anything, consider the fact that for all the time muns spend trying to bring you down, they could be writing. Creating dynamics and storylines. Improving their writing skills. Instead of, you know, hating.

You're already a wonderful RP partner and friend, I just suggest keeping it up :D And I'm happy to be the older friend/wine aunt in the RPC. I will forever be telling you to drink water, wear sunscreen, sleep, and life will get better.

Consequently, I will also discuss the good old days if prompted. The days of RP and fandom before tumblr. Before social media. Just make sure I have my comfy chair, my slippers, and a drink. Possibly painkillers: I'm at the age where I can pull something getting out of bed nowadays (though I'm probably just overdue for a new mattress).

tl;dr - dear mutuals, I'm old. I do not tolerate drama or BS in my old age. I do tolerate long-term, feels-packed threads combined with dashcomm shitposting, OOC chatter, and wine/tea/drink whatever you want just stay hydrated please.

And like Sonia: I'm not up to date with popular slang. Or being a cool and hip person. Bear with us, please.

[skins-california]

Boy, it’s been awhile since I stepped in here.I only step in here because I’ve come to the realization that I need to step away from all social media apps and delete them. I should probably delete them for good, the irony resorting to tumblr lmao.

I’m turning 27 this year.

I’ve made a lot of great accomplishments these last few years but I also endured so much. I don’t give myself enough credit for all the hard work and commitment I’ve put into myself, my relationship, and with my family.

I finally got a car under my own name and I just finished my first year paying it off. I got an apartment with my girlfriend and we just hit our 1 year living together, paying bills and all that adult life stuff. It was hard sometimes but never to the point we thought we wouldn’t make rent and always kept each other secure. When I step back and take a moment to let that sink in, it’s really nice. I stepped it up with my work and got into a manager role. I hate my fucking job though, also adds to the stress and bullshit I go through everyday but the fact I’ve changed into this person to commit to that role I need to give myself way more fucking credit for that.

Moving out of the bay has been the best decision I’ve made and I love it. But I hate the commute, and this is where it all falls hard on me. I get stuck feeling I’m at a dead end with my job cause I know how hard it will be to find a job that would match my salary out here where I live now without some degree or school under my belt. But I’m staying strong because the amount of effort and life I’ve built to live more comfortable cannot go to nothing. I’m working hard to find a moment to take a break from work and do my nursing program. Or even just CNA.

I feel like I can list so much good things I’m happy and grateful for my life yet I’m always finding myself buried underneath and feeling so stressed that I cannot have a normal day without panic disorder. And most of the time , it’s for no reason at all and I’m feeling so helpless. I’m starting to hate that Lani has to see me go through this. It’s not fun, I hate feeling like I’m bringing the both of us down. But no matter what’, she sticks by me and I’m so thankful to be loved and cared for.

Being diagnosed with severe depression on top of my severe anxiety was pretty unexpected but I guess I’m not so surprised. Then I wonder what’s leading me to this? I’m blaming social media as a big factor among other things. I know it’s important to be woke but I know for a fact , every news I hear and my heart feels their pain is starting to kill me mentally, drain me mentally. I’m constantly in a war with my mind and I feel like I’m losing. I refuse to keep feeling like this and I’m glad to took the steps to get treatment for it again. I really can’t wait for the meds to help me get through a day feeling normal again.

Every time I see myself level up, the work and the pain just gets harder. I get stressed so easily, I know I’m working too damn hard. I have been working 6 days a week nearly since October of last year. And I didn’t think losing two pets would fuck me up so hard but it did and no one around me comforts that besides Lani. I don’t expect them to. But I didn’t think how hard it would be to cope through the days and it’s been so hard.

It’s hard cause watching whiskey die was watching my mom’s heart get broken all over again. No one wants to see their mom cry like that. It hurts me to see my mothers routine gone, worse that she found him pass in his sleep. And that was my first dog, I watched him grow old and I will never forgive myself cause I feel like I’m to blame for his death. I’m convinced I gave him a heart attack for getting that excited the night before and all of a sudden he looked so weak. Not even 2 minutes apart, I know in reality it can’t be my fault. None of us knew it was coming; but still I cannot help but feel that way. Losing a pet just is a ugly type of sad because this pet has never once looked badly at you, all they have is joy and excitement when they see you and all they know is you for their entire life and they’re just a chapter in yours.

And not even four months apart, Kitty had just passed before. The pain was different but just holding her during her last moments fucked me up. Losing both of them felt like losing my teenage hood. I know that’s been done but them no longer here really sealed the chapter off.

Anyways. Maybe I just needed to let that all out. As much as I’m struggling in life, I will always remind myself I’ve come such a long way. I’m almost 3 months free of nicotine and I’ve only drank twice since the new year. Ain’t perfect but it’s a real improvement than the damage I’ve done to my body the last 2 years.

Next step is to get my PCP and HRT reevaluated.

This is the year I focus on my health, my mental health and mind state.

We’re getting ready to build our family and there is nothing more I want in this life than to become a father. I need to better myself if I wanna stick around and be here for that. I know I can do it.

[seburath-aryes-ancunin]

Smol-ish rant-ish

I just wanna say that my boyfriend is damn lucky he has me.

I don't mean that in an entitled, arrogant way. So let me explain what I mean.

I just got back from Pax East with him and had the displeasure of his 69 year old roommate go with us. While I did enjoy the trip, all the annoyance of her I didn't. She revealed some rather...... unsavory things about my boyfriend that I had suspected all along about him.

I'm not gonna go into detail about them but I will say my reaction wasn't being mad or upset. It was more of disappointment because he himself didn't tell me. So for those reasons and a few others that's why I say he's damn lucky to have me.

I believe in more than second chances because there were times in my life people didn't give me second chances to explain myself and just left me on the spot. Later on when they found out the truth they apologized and asked to come back but I had already moved on and said 'you should have given me a second chance but you didn't and I moved on'. With him I've given him probably more chances than I should (according to everyone I know I should have left him a while ago) but to be honest he doesn't physically abuse me. He does tease me but when it does hurt my feelings he does apologize.

He actually revealed to me that I'm only his 3rd girlfriend (he's like 37 now. His birthday was the 25th of March) and his last 2 relationships he had weren't the best ones and they were abusive to him (his friends at one time did tell me this but asked me not to tell him) so he's actually learning what it's like to be in a good relationship with someone.

I've been in quite a few more relationships than 3 when I was younger and I get how abusive ones can be. I hate when people think they can abuse someone and that's ok to do.... it's really not and it hurts the person your with and sometimes they hurt others too.

And to some effect I guess I'm glad I have him too. I mean he's completely ok with me being with my wife and he's 100% willing to go up to her state and bring her back down to live with me and my mom when she decides to do so. I don't know many guys that are willing to do that. He's been always supportive of our relationship and never once got mad when we had our close moments when we met face to face for the first time. At one point he was grinning like a happy school kid in a candy shop when he saw us kissing.

I'm also grateful to him because he's willing to take my insufferable scared of heights self on trips with him and he's there to calm me down when I start to panic on take offs (I'm better with them but still don't like the sinking feeling).

Oh and he's lucky to have me too cuz I'm not a pretty girl that gets to be a whiny bitch when she gets dirty or a nail broke. I enjoy learning new things and getting down and dirty. Aka I enjoy fixing his car XD.

But all in all, he's a pretty cool guy. He has his good and bad moments as everyone does. Guess I'll stick with his nerdy ass for a while.

And PS to my wife, I still love you. I just had to say a few things to get off my chest. I don't think he follows me here lol. Tumblr is my free space from him.

[lepetitkalam]

Vision Board for 2023

Maybe it’s a good way to use my Tumblr as a bision board.

Maybe my Tumblr is a safe space and way to focus on my goals.

so I’m creating this vision board, related to the one I just shared on my Tumblr.

Creating vision boards - I want to make an overall vision board that I can use as my home screen to remind myself everyday of what I’m striving to accomplish, as well as vision boards for every aspect of my life: health, career, relationships, home, leisure and look Let’s say that this Tumblr is my vision board. I’ll try to be as honest as I can be regarding what I want.

Writing down my goals - same as with vision boards, I want to create overall goals for the year, as well as goals in every aspect of my life, probably around 2-3 each to not be overwhelmed My goals are simple: 1. Health: Getting a leaner shape while having a toned body. Focus on food that loves giving good nutriments to my body. I think being happy with my body will help augment my overall happyness. 2. Invest: Invest seriously in the sectors I want to invest my money in. It will mainly be in Sub-Saharan Africa. In which sectors specifically? I don’t know yet but I’m gonna give updates here. 3. Expand my network: It can be expanding my friends network by discovering and meeting new people that are open-minded, smart, funny, ambitious, interesting, with a good heart. So it means... 4. Discovering new places/things: I think if I discover new things and places, I will automatically discover new people. Hmm, drawing? Badminton? Squash? Baseball? Let’s see how it goes. But it also means... 5. Travelling more across the world: that way I can expand my horizons and find new places and things. Alright, I think it’s enough, for now.

Deciding my boundaries - I’m tired of people pleasing and putting myself last, so that’s what I want to change in the next year. I’ll decide and write down my boundaries and things I will not do anymore and stick to it Ok, so what I'm not gonna do anymore as letting people cross my boundaries? First, just that, letting people cross my boundaries. Second, I wanna be 100% honest with people. It can be in various areas. Love: declaring my interest for men. Friendship: tell my friends when something is bothering me about their behavior or something I think about. Work: Seriously doing something that I love AND getting a lot of money. Family: Let all the members of my family know about may gayness and being really clear about the fact that I will not tolerate any homophobia in my life anymore. Me: Putting my mind in beautiful places.

Starting a journal - I’ll buy a notebook and make it into my journal. At the end of it I’ll write down my goals, boundaries, and put my vision boards so that I can always go back to them and then check my progress at the end of the year. I’ll write a quick entry everyday to process the events and finish all of them with 1-3 things I’m grateful for each day And that will be my Tumblr page haha.

The things that you will see in my tumblr are the things that I want in my life. I am asking the Source, the Universe, God, to listen to my call and to bring me the beautiful things I want :)

[imagineteamfreewill]

Here’s to Witches

Title: Here’s to Witches

Pairing: Reader x Sam

Word Count: 1,331

Warnings: None

Summary: Sam and the reader are each gifted something after saving a group of housewives on a hunt, and Sam’s gift is exponentially more... enthusiastic than the reader’s.

A/N: This is completely unedited, so please excuse any mistakes. If you see any glaring ones, please feel free to (politely) send me an ask or a message so I can go in and fix it. The gifs that inspired this fic can be found at the end because I thought they were too cute to not include. Also, feedback makes the world go round and makes my blog a lot more enjoyable for everyone! Please reblog this fic with your thoughts or send me an ask or a message to tell me what you think. Enjoy!

_______________

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this happy,” you said as you leaned against the dresser. The knobs dug into the small of your back and your shoulders but you ignored them as Sam looked up at you with a wide smile.

“I just can’t believe this is real,” he replied.

Bones jumped up on his hind legs, pushing himself slightly off the floor as he tried to regain Sam’s full attention. He succeeded and you couldn’t help but laugh at the way Sam raised the pitch of his voice to talk to his new—or rather, old—furry friend.

“You know, when the witch said she’d brought back someone dear to your heart, I figured we’d come back to the motel to find Bobby or something.”

Sam glanced up at you again, his smile undimmed. “I didn’t think it would be Bones either, but honestly…”

Smiling, you moved away from the dresser to see if your phone had regained some battery. It had died on the way back from the abandoned winery where the coven had been holding its meetings. Thankfully, you hadn’t needed it to call for help. The coven was more domestic than anything you’d ever encountered on a hunt; the witches mostly used their magic to bring dead houseplants back to life, get the smell out of laundry they’d forgotten in the washer, and thaw meat that they’d taken out of the freezer an hour or two too late. You’d been in the midst of trying to figure out how to ask them to stick with what they knew when the real troublemakers had shown up, figurative guns blazing, in an attempt to harm the housewives who were in almost too deep. 

You and Sam had eradicated the bad witches with relative ease and the handful of women had been so grateful to you that they’d put their collective energies together to give you each a gift. They’d given you something you’d thought long gone—a box of photos from your childhood—and they’d promised Sam something “dear to his heart”. 

After unlocking your phone, you quietly placed an order for a few pizzas, knowing that Sam was probably starving after the busy day you’d had. You were about to press the submit button when something bumped against your leg.

“I think he likes you,” Sam said, and you looked down to find Bones sitting at your feet. He was giving you a heart-warming doggy smile and his tail was going a mile a minute. It was almost comical how hard he was trying to sit despite the fact that his butt was wiggling right along with his tail.

You chuckled and crouched down to run your hand over Bones’ back. “Hey buddy! Are you hungry too? Is that why you came over here?” you cooed. Your voice jumped up an octave, just like Sam’s had, but Bones responded quickly and was up in your face as he tried to get as much of your attention and touch as possible.

Sam laughed too, standing up and stretching his arms above his head while he watched. He was clearly enjoying having Bones around and in the back of your mind, you sent up a silent prayer that this wasn’t a temporary thing. If Bones was ripped away from him, it would be a heartbreaking loss. Sam had already suffered so much and you wanted to ensure as much as you could that when he wasn’t on a hunt, he was happy and comfortable.

“You want some pepperoni, Bones? Huh?”

The dog yipped in response and you grinned, then stood. You quickly placed the order on your phone while Bones tried to get more attention from Sam. 

“Pizza should be here in about an hour,” you said, and Sam nodded. “So what do we do now? Think Dean’ll be okay with Bones being at the bunker? And in the Impala, for that matter?”

Sam shrugged. Bones was standing on the bed now so that Sam could pet him without having to sit down or bend over.

“Okay, well maybe we should pick up supplies before we get back,” you suggested. “That way, Dean can’t say it would be easy to get rid of him. And we should probably make an appointment with the vet in town, too…”

You pulled out your phone again, but as you were starting to research the veterinarian offices in Lebanon, you felt Sam’s eyes on you. Slowly, you glanced up from your phone and met his gaze.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Sam answered, shaking his head with a smile. “I’m just happy.”

“Okay… Weirdo.” You went back to the website. After another minute or two, you still felt Sam’s eyes on you and you sighed, dropping your hand down to your side so you could fully look at him. “What? Why are you staring at me, Sam?” The question came out with a laugh and Sam’s smile widened.

“I don’t know. I’m just… happy. I’m happy that you’re okay with this,” he said.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You love him and I think having a dog would be great.”

"Well I knew you liked dogs, but the last time we talked about getting one, you said that you didn’t think it would be a great idea. What changed?”

Shrugging, you tucked your phone in your pocket and went over to them, making sure to start petting Bones immediately so you wouldn’t get licked in the face again. You pointedly avoided making eye contact with Sam, instead focusing on the retriever who was practically vibrating with happiness at all the attention he was getting from the two of you.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” you answered. “I guess it’s because I don’t want you to have to give him up, you know? I like to see you happy, and Bones makes you happy. He makes me happy, too,” you added, knowing that Sam would call you out on it if you didn’t.

Sam hummed in response, and the two of you continued to pet Bones in silence, only occasionally laughing or talking to the dog when it felt right. 

An hour later, you were setting up the pizza while Sam took Bones outside for a break. The dog had come with his own collar—thank you, witches!—but he’d had to find a rope in the trunk of the Impala to use as a leash.

“It smells good!” Sam said as he opened the door and stepped inside. You glanced over at him with a smile, then laughed when you saw Bones pulling at the makeshift leash to get nearer to the table. When Sam dropped it, he made a beeline for the pizzas and you had to quickly shove him back down onto all four legs so that your dinner didn’t come with a side of dog hair.

“Whoa, buddy! Easy, calm down! You’ll get your dinner soon enough!”

Sam was grinning from ear to ear and you grinned back, feeling the contagious joy bubble up inside of you.

“Pepperoni?” he asked, and you nodded, grabbing the little container full of slices they’d included and holding it out for him. Bones tracked the movement intently and you laughed again as Sam grabbed it and pulled off the lid.

Instantly, Bones was sitting down, his tail wagging as he stared up at Sam.

“Well, at least he knows to sit,” you laughed. Sam laughed too, and soon the three of you were chowing down on your respective dinners.

We’re like a little family, you thought as you settled down beside Sam against the headboard. You’d both torn the top of the pizza boxes off so that the box was easier to hold in your lap, and he’d turned on a mindless movie while you’d made sure Bones had water. 

“Here’s to happy endings,” Sam said, holding out his beer.

You clinked yours against it with a smile, then a quiet chuckle. “And here’s to witches, which is something I’d never thought I’d say!”

(Gifs are by @frodo-sam​ can be found here. I couldn’t find them in the tumblr gif search or I would have included them that way, sorry!)

_______________

Want to commission a story of your own? Check out the details here.

Want to get early access to content, discounted commissions, personalize stories, and priority when my requests are open? Support me on Patreon by becoming a patron! Find the link in this post or in my tumblr bio.

Want to support my writing with a one-time donation? Buy me a ko-fi! Find the link in this post or in my tumblr bio.

Want to be tagged? Send me an ask! Tag lists include:

Forever, Sam, Dean, Cas, Deaf!Reader, Words Series (Multiple Pairings/Characters), Home Series (Reader x Marine!Sam) - Unposted, From The Dead Series (Reader x Soldier!Dean), Consort Series (Goddess!Reader x Dean), Sam x Meg 2.0, Blog/Series Updates, and Drabble Days/Writing Events

@lipstickandwhiskey @riversong-sam @shaelyn102 @gabrielslittleangel @supermoonpanda @feelmyroarrrr @crispychrissy @shamelesslydean @supernatur-gal @gloriousartisanfancreator @smallriderbigdreams @sandlee44 @megasimpleplan4ever @ellie-andthemachine @dustycelt @rainflowermoon @katymacsupernatural @ultimatecin73 @musiclovinchic93 @mannls @thegrungequeer @fiftyshadesoffandoms6783 @choosemyname @mishascupcake @emmaa_maariee @mlovesstories @curlyhairedblueeyedangel @gypsytraveler86 @lucifersbird @sev3nruby @flirtswithdanger @whimsicalrobots @kazkingdom @a-screaming-ghost @5seconds-of-fandoms @supernatural-harrypotter7 @teaand-cookies @supernatural-crazed-girl @alexwinchester23 @supernatural3002 @blackcherrywhiskey @mrswhozeewhatsis @lizzielu252 @babypink224221 @just-another-busyfangirl @idksupernatural@courtney-elizabeth-winchester @fuckmemgc @deansgirl215 @assassinofmasyaf @vallucky-gal @reginaphalange2403 @musicalsarelove @thorins-queen-of-erebor @animiliabby @somestupidgeek @basilbumble @swirlyoreo @jae-sch @alliegc28 @meangirlsx @fluffybeebutts @team-free-will-you-idjits-67 @oneshoeshort @ten-lane @supernaturalharry @witch-of-letters @itssierramcquade @train-wrecc

[revenantpoet]

Text Version:

Echoed Reminiscence

A place Locked away In the deepest depths Of my mind

A white space A blank space A safe space

Except not

Not anymore Not to me

It used to be Once upon a time When the world outside Hurt worse Sharper Harsher Than the one inside

But now it's the ghost of memories left there The phantoms of when times were good Before I was a horrible person

In here, everything is still Everything is peaceful The memories of the Before Are sharp and vibrant Joyful and peaceful In a way that only exists in dreams For me

And it drains me It attaches fangs to my neck And is drinks It drinks It drinks Until I'm so dry Worn and thin Colorless and wasted And I can't take it anymore

The memories stored here are perfect Not in accuracy No, it's been so long that my mind Distorted and sick and disgusting Has begun to melt and muddle the specifics But the core remains The wonder and the magic Of beautiful friends and our stories

Everything is fantastical and wonderful A world we would have thrived in A world where our wildest dreams could come true A world where I'm not a horrible, disgusting person

My loved ones deserve this Both my friends and my family This dream should be their reality That I stole from them I do not deserve this I shouldn’t know this peace This love

But I'm the one here So crippled by reality that I escape to this place A white space A blank space A serene space So bright that it burns my eyes Sears my skin Empties me of whatever life I have left

It hurts It hurts It hurts

And I deserve it

I throw myself into these memories This place that was once a shrine and a sanctuary For what was loved and lost Forgotten Murdered Brutalized By me

It kills me Brings me right up to the brink of death Without landing the finishing blow A perfect punishment For someone like me The real world trickles away Dripping through the grate Into the sewers Where my future belongs

I keep moving forward If only for this To twist the knife in deeper And deeper And deeper And deeper And deeper

But I'm so weak It hurts I want out Sometimes I drive the knife too deep Force myself awake by slicing through the memories of myself Remembering What I wish I could still be To you To all of you

And I escape back into a gaunt reality Draining and depressing Awful and pathetic Yet not as painful As the dream Where everything is perfect Where I am lovable

But something still haunts me, even awake Something in me infects any escape Any purity Anything faithful Everything true Tainted by something Everything Me

I want out I want help I want to die I want to not be awful I want to be what my memories say I was I want to be what everyone thought me to be I want to be a lie I want to be a figment I want to be alive

I want to be worth something To someone Who knows what haunts me Sees it Understands it And the ugliness inside me And doesn't cringe away Vomit and scream in disgust Won’t say I’m awful And will mean it Will believe it Say it’s okay And for those words To ring true

I want someone to see me I want someone to love me And for me to deserve it

This is a bit different! :'D I got a hold of the Omori soundtrack and have been listening to it non-stop since, and it reminded me of a rambling sorta essay that I wrote about the game when I first was introduced to it. I wasn't sure I could handle the game after a super traumatic event, so I watched a bunch of video analyses on it, and one thing wound up sticking out to me.

Everyone called White Space a safe, neutral place.

But I knew very early on in watching a let's play, White Space was not safe. If you have to kill yourself to get out, the fact that you'd resort to that--that isn't safety. (In my opinion, at least--this game is so personal and so well written and designed, I'm sure that everyone relates to the narrative differently.) So instead of posting my long and rambling thoughts to Tumblr, this thought finally busted out of my brain into poetry and I might as well share this less intense version :'D

I hope everything on your side of the screen is going as well as it can be <3 The link to my AO3 if you’d like to leave a kudo or whatnot’s in my pinned post!

[nako-doodles]

pick 5 people that make your fandom experience wholesome and write a small paragraph about each one of them 💖

this ask is so stanking cute? buckle in im going to be talking for a very long time 🤣🤣🤣 *taps mic* lessgetit

@cafejoon tate the sun to my moon the stars of my sky the vampire gf of my dreams, where do i even start? im so incredibly grateful that however many moons and however many suns ago we discovered we practically have the same bday, and further discovered our red string of fate via baby shark. its been just an honor and a joy knowing you and talking to you and just being your moon and basking your solar brilliance. heres to another couple millennia together darling. 🥰🥰🥰

@stargazingjin rebecca the jk to my jin the funniest dorkiest person i know the other half of my chaos braincell the most talented photographer E V E R i love you 🥺🥺🥺 youre always so down-to-earth and the bright spot in my days of thunderclouds and lightning (very literal lately) and the hot chocolate on my sleepless nights. cant wait to be the most embarrassing duo at the airport with you darling 🥰💖✨

@jincentvangogh vero the reason why i dont need to go to the gym to get abs i love you 🥺🥺🥺 thank you for indoctrinating me into all of the hip anime and for basically curating your tiktok foryoupage to be for the two of us. our daily min yoongi kim namjoon christian yu nanami kento induced mental breakdowns is honestly what keeps my skin clear. its an honor to be a thirsty hoe with you love 🤣✨😉

@mintagust reka your the flying buttresses to my gothic cathedral the min yoongi of bangtan. thank you for always being so supportive and loving and funny and for always sending me msgs 🥺🥺🥺 they make logging onto this hellsite so worth it i love you so so so much. its an incredible honor to see your artwork and gifs i hope you always send them my way 🥰💖✨

@thatredwine erl! thank you for always sending me the cutest funniest asks and tagging me in the bestest jin content on this hellsite. im not sure what i did to deserve such a fantastic person to bring so much joy and serotonin in my life, but i am grateful everyday for your presence. i hope whatever is stressing you out has been banished from the mortal plane 😌🥰💖

@yoongisbengaliwife t youre just such a bright spot in this fandom im sure im not the only one absolutely in love w you. you bring so much joy on your blog it always kinda feels like a beach vacay every time i got on tbh. ur eid selfies yesterday were so cute i literally turned into heart eyes emoji. thank you for being so supportive and iconic 🥺🥺🥺

@taemaknae nicole youre just so creative and talented with all your edits and mbs and icons and headers it always blows me away. i can always tell who is using your headers and icons bc of your style which is like. super sexy of you 😳😳😳 i love reading your tags and it truly blows me away that your my moot??? like in what universe?????? anyways thank you for sticking up for me and being so iconic 🥲😎🥰

@jinbestboy ugh em you improved my tumblr experience at least a hundredfold by establishing the jinie moot club tbh. thank you for being so funny and loving and jincredible in the tags i love love love reading through them. im sorry i havent been able to keep up w the posts but as soon as im not a zombie im coming back just you wait....just you wait........🤣🥰💖

@luvsjoon cat when i tell you i go on your blog at least once a day to cleanse my vibes and get some serotonin pumping......i read your blog like the morning paper. youre such a happy and bright and sweet presence on my dash.e thank you for being you im a life long fan of you tbh ✨💖🥰

@gimbapchefs nat how do you literally write the funniest captions and come up w the most hilarious gif comps like????? *shakes empty cap* spare funny bones pls. anyways youre such a cool person i look up to you a lot. thank you for blessing us plebes with your iconique self and i cant wait to see what other beauties you make 😳✨💖

@jung-koook sky ill be honest w you. im still shook your my moot and like?? talk to me??? the day you followed back i literally almost accidentally unfollowed you bc i was too busy freaking out. i am in love w you and your content and how quickly and gorgeously you pump out a+ content. youre one of the reasons why i love being on this hellsite thank you for being a pillar of this fandom 🥰💖✨

@koolabjamun aahana darling youre so incredible. you have such a big heart and are central to so many world-changing community bonding things here. im literally always so fucking in awe of you and proud to be your moot. keep being such an iconic human ill try my best to support you ✨💖✨

@seoksjin ellie i kid you not if those hp moving pics were a thing irl, i would print every single one of your gifs out and hang them on the walls. every time you gif jin i ascend to the 7th dimension i astral project to alpha centauri i literally melt into a non-newtonian solid. thank you for being such a jintegral part of being a jin stan🥺😳🥰

@blondesuga melissa if i could marry your giffing style i would. your coloring on your gifs are so fantastic im just permanently shedding heart shaped tears when i see your content. anyways ill be permanently moving to your seokjin boyfriend gifs this has been my written advance notice 😳😋🤣

@taejinnies anj im very much in love with your sexy fifth dimension unable to be perceived by mere mortals galaxy brain. your content is so unique and beautiful and funny and iconic i just. god. im literally one ill adviced chaosing away from getting down on one knee tbh ✨💍✨

@rosebowl sharika hello its me the girl who is very much in love w you. your 100 days of jin is partially why im just barely hanging onto my sanity and also constantly on this hellsite. i love seeing you in my notes and on my dash its such an honor being your moot thank you for being loving and iconic 🥺🥰✨

@jihopes jules youre just such a warming loving iconic talented cornerstone of this fandom thank you for tagging me in your tag games and being so funny and iconic and casually one of the most talented people i know mwah 💖😳😎

and lastly: thank you to everyone following this chaotic mess of blog and interacting w me even tho im shy and get flustered easily 🥺🥺🥺 seeing you on my dash and in my activity honestly makes all of tumblrs flaws and malfunctions worth it i love you ✨✨

[mylittleredgirl]

Unpopular opinion meme: How about a post about the character you think is the most overrated?

i must be moving out of my Mood because this very difficult to do! the most-most highly rated characters on- and off-screen in trek (spock, data) totally deserve it, and honestly WHO KNOWS how a character is rated in fandom, because tumblr trek is always collecting and loving the characters that larger trek fandom dislikes (see: janeway and bashir).

but on-screen at least, i’m gonna go with the doctor on voyager.

this is part of a larger issue with the back half of voyager: the ensemble is sacrificed because all the character development points are held by seven, the doctor, and.... you know, i don’t know if janeway’s slow burn untreated psychological distress is character development, exactly, but the show definitely did not spread the love around to the entire cast.

and in that, my early season love for the doctor wears thin. some bloggers i follow made the good point that a character shouldn’t have to be likeable when fighting for their rights any more than a real human person should be, or be openly grateful to their “oppressors” when they’re well-treated, so why should i be cool with data and annoyed by the doctor -- who is objectively treated worse by his crew -- just because he’s abrasive about it?

and i don’t know! i have to do some more soul-searching on this. but i get exhausted having so many doctor-centric episodes because eventually, his personal development comes with a level of carelessness about the larger effects of his actions, and he’s not held accountable by the narrative when he causes harm to his friends.

“tinker, tenor, doctor, spy” is the last doctor-centric episode where i really, unequivocally LOVE him. he wants to grow!! but he wants to do it with the consciousness of being part of a community and wanting to serve his ship and crew as well as expanding his program and exploring the new frontier of hologram life.

but then you get like... “virtuoso.” (🎶fame! i wanna live foreverrrr🎶) he demands to leave the ship and wants to delete his medical database so he can explore an opera passion project -- but he shows no concern that as the only doctor, leaving the ship will absolutely eventually result in members of the crew dying. he argues that every other crewmember made a choice to serve on the ship (the maquis?? everyone else who signed up for a three-week mission??) and that janeway would never deny a flesh and blood crewman the right to self-determination for the good of the ship -- when she already has (b’elanna, in “nothing human,” and for the same reason: the entire community relies on them for survival). 

but mostly what bothers me is that so many of his episodes toward the end of the series put him in inappropriate and sexist situations with seven of nine (that fucking bet leading to the romantic grooming in “someone to watch over me”; using her body against her wishes in “body and soul” -- i mean hilarious tour de force from jeri ryan or not, that’s fucked uppppp man). and it’s always his POV, not hers. she has to forgive him, and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him.

it could have been cool to explore the kind of toddler id thing that might happen with newly developed sentience, but the writers would have to arc that out and hold our hands through it, you know? because i don’t think that’s what they meant, and they didn’t really bring it to a satisfying i-am-one-but-respect-the-needs-of-the-many resolution that sticks with him. and that makes me feel like it’s too much screen time without the payoff.

[va9art]

I think I’ve been quiet for way too long and I should come back and fangirl about it.

Before I go down the many lines of praises I have to just to let you know all about, all things considered, I think of myself as a huge Dramione fan but one that relatively to the majority of us in the fandom, doesn’t consume just as much.

I read fanfictions, but no that much - I read more books. (those sold on bookshop, you know the old paper concept).

I enjoy HP characters - but I somehow don’t branch out. (I tend to stick way too often with DHr and generally consider branching out when it’s a Draco/Hermione/Theo 🤷‍♀️)

I go crazy mad for certain fanfics too - but somehow I limit myself to rec those ff when asked, and generally leave only kudos.

So, if I’ve learned anything from @winewandsandwafflingpodcast I certainly need to step up my games.

First and foremost:

1. If you happen to read this post, go and click on the tag above, then find the podcast, put your headphone on and press play. Enjoy, darling.

I am now going through the very pleasurable job of catching up with the last few months worth of episodes - that somehow I missed to keep up lately, so typical of me, and I cannot express my gratitude to @frumpologist and her host @ladykenz347 enough for this podcast and their discussions. I am having such a great time listening to you fangirl-ing hard and simultaneously discuss on very deep level the analysis of fics and most importantly the fandom itself! You’re constantly touching important aspects of the world we live in - though only virtually, and I think your critical points of view, together with the voices of guests that you bring from the fandom, are a much needed review that we need to hear, explore and share together. So, really, thank you.

And it’s because of them and their Episode 8, that I finally branch out-branch out. With none other than:

‘The Secretary’ by @pacific-rimbaud

Summary:

Threatened with the loss of her trust fund allowance, wild child Pansy Parkinson takes her mother up on an offer she can't refuse: a job at the Ministry of Magic as personal secretary to tightly wound bureaucrat Percy Weasley.

The job is demanding, and so is her boss, in ways that Pansy never could have imagined.

When their mutual desires begin to spin out of control, how will Pansy convince her boss that sometimes, the only rules you need to follow are your own?

A loving tribute to the pure and criminally underappreciated magic that is the ParkWeasel ship, and the 2002 film Secretary.

Here I come:

This fic had me - all of me: attention, heart, fangirl wailing, all of it, from the very beginning. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise, since I absolutely adore PacificRimbaud’s writing style and stories. I am not quite too sure I can put Party Lines behind this fic, there is no need surely since one is a Dramione (surprise surprise) and the other one is a ParkWeasel, and why shall I even throw in there Major Arcana a Lucius Malfoy/Andromeda Black Tonks? This creator here has an extraordinary ability to make you instantly fall head to toe for rare pairs that you usually forgo, because - really, I know my linkings - and no, you don’t. The second you step into one of her story, the minute you begin to say ‘oh well, but that sounds nice,’ you’re so damn past the point where you can go back to your comfortable pairs, so much so that you might just want to change your introduction on Tumblr and just add the tag ‘whatever PacificRimbaud’s rare-pair present you with - I ship it’. I surely should, because now I’ve just locked eyes with a Draco/Scabior tag and I am trying to stay calm, because truly I should know my bloody likings, shouldn’t I?

I am one that adore, above all, Dom/Sub fictions without any worries to say this out loud, but I understand how this might not be the proverbial beloved cup of tea of one’s likings, so I should explain why this kinky fanfic won’t have you cringe in any possible way. Because she makes it sounds and feels so natural. Your read it and it makes sense. Particularly this fic, has the capacity of introducing a kink at the right moment, cleverly pacing it out throughout its 6 chapters. I liked personally how this was a fiction based on the discoveries of these sexual kinks, more than the narration of such things acted out exclusively. It has psychological description of it that just adds depth to the relationship - one I never even explored once in my life. And that now I’m digging for.

If asked, what’s the one thing that got me widening my eyes and going loudly ‘yessss, girl’, is Percy ending his working day on white paper, miniature crow, flying notes, neat and precise description of what Pansy should wear the next day. Down to her knickers. If you know, you know, if you don’t, read this fanfic right away.

Lastly, this writer here not only has created this (as many others) beautiful piece of fanfic, which I absolutely worship, but has also created an artwork for it! And I find it extremely lovely! I love her style (one that reminds me, and I mean this the outmost respect for both artists, the Fernando Botero’s style) and I feel so much for her that’s she’s written her fic and drawn for it, too. Damn, girl, you rule. (Also, I had the big, massive, apocalyptic magnitude size honour of having inspired her once to write a one off for a piece of art I made and which I am shamelessly going to tag along, because why not, the artwork might be average, but the story’s chef’s kiss! ‘Off the Ground’) Darling, I should have come and praised you high and loud a long time ago - it’s just not my modus operandi of participating in the fandom. But here it is, although you also write some rare-pairs that don’t meet the same degree of visibility and notoriety, as long as it makes you happy participating in it, I’m here for it and extremely grateful for your sharing it with us.