#so glad to be done w this class

[nylarac]

the "correct" answer was transexual 😐

[signior-fabian]

this project is gonna be my villain origin story I fucking swear

[figofswords]

.

[intertexts-moving]

literally sooo behind on french hw it's distressing unfortunately the horrors have been. horroring.

[treecakes]

have to finish an essay tonight -.-

[grimmthorne]

disregard my last post I just registered for some banger classes

[plague-vulture]

lord give me strength to finish my last history assignment and then still help others with their assignments 🙏

[littlehouseoftrinkets]

The end of the semester is always so bittersweet

[all4yoi]

was it just a game to you?

𝑒nhypen x fem!reader ⚹ cw. hyung line , 2nd pov , ︎ poor attempt on angst , lowercase intended , hand holding ( not w u! xd ) , karina mentioned on heeseung's & wonyoung on sunghoon's , not proofread ! part two here !

catching them holding hands with another girl after they accepted your confession 

confessing to them was already on your monthly bucket list, but them accepting it and liking you back certainly wasn't. feeling ecstatic, you walk towards your university's glass doors only to find him holding hands with a female that certainly isn't you.

★ LEE HEESEUNG

eyes trained on their hands clutched tightly on to one another, you watch silently as the girl smiled up at him shyly, tucking a strand of her hair with her empty hand.

doubt began overtaking you. right, who would choose someone like you over someone like karina? she was everything you weren't. perfect face, perfect body, she's kind, and absolutely beautiful. if you were heeseung, you would choose her too.

you flinched as you made eye contact with the girl holding hands with someone who should be yours. she sent you a smile, a genuine one. not mocking, nor insulting. she didn't have any idea about the conversation last night you shared with the man she's holding hands with.

she didn't know about how he smiled at you brightly, didn't know about the hug you two shared, and absolutely didn't know about how he said he liked you too. so how could you hate and blame her?

before you could even send a smile back at her, heeseung turned around and instantly took his hand back when his gaze landed on your stiff body.

instead of making a scene, you showed them the best smile you could muster despite the quiver on your lips before quickly walking away towards your first class.

heeseung panicked, turning to karina.

"you're a great friend karina, but i don't feel the same. i'm sorry."

with that, he ran after you hoping you would hear him out and let him explain.

other members utc!

★ PARK JONGSEONG

you felt your mood instantly drop. yesterday he promised he would prove to you how much he liked you back too, now he's holding hands with a pretty girl.

your eyes quickly met his and the way he quickly took his hand back from the girl made you even more upset. you watched as the female said something incoherent to him before he approached you hastily.

he stood infront of you, worry written all over his face. your frowned deepened, betrayal making your chess heavy.

"it's not what it looked like, i promise." jay whispered that only you could hear. he didn't want you doubting his feelings for you, he was merely helping the girl up after he had bumped into her. she insisted on shaking his hand after telling him her name, it was such wrong timing that you saw.

he didn't mean to hurt you.

"it's okay. i'll see you later jay." was all you said before walking away with a small smile. he watched your figure become smaller and smaller until he lost your figure to the students crowding the halls.

despite the smile on your pretty face, jay knew he had hurt you badly and he intended on fixing that. for now, he'd give you space.

★  SIM JAEYUN

his hand was instantly removed from hers as soon as you saw it. you didn't know what to feel. were you supposed to be glad that he immediately let her go as soon as your eyes met his? still, you don't know for how long he has been holding her hand before you even saw.

but then again, you two weren't together. so who were you to be mad? he liked you back sure, but he wasn't your boyfriend. he could hold hands with anyone he'd like. but was it bad to hope that he'd only do those things with you?

you couldn't help the tears falling down your cheeks. immediately, you felt ashamed. ashamed for crying about something so stupid like this, so you did what everyone would've done.

you ran, ignoring his desperate calls for you. and even when he caught up with you and brought you to his chest, the tears didn't stop. you mentally cursed yourself for being so sensitive.

pushing yourself away from him, you wiped away the tears.

"i can explain, please."

"it's fine jake, really. i just wish you would've been more honest with me." lips wobbly as you attempted a small smile, jake's heart broke as he watched you walk away from him again.

★  PARK SUNGHOON

you didn't know what to do. there he was, holding hands with the prettiest girl in campus with other students fawning over them. exclaims on how good they looked together echoed through your ears.

maybe he only said he liked you back to make fun of your reaction with his friends. maybe it was a lousy bet between him and his friends to make you believe he actually liked you back.

"don't they look absolutely good together? seriously, sunghoon and wonyoung, literally everyone here expected them to get together at some point" a random student told you, her smile wide as she observed the two, who were still holding hands.

the way he stiffened and dropped her hand as soon as your eyes met his brought you back to reality. blending in with the crowd in the halls, you attempted to escape his line of sight, desperate to leave before the tears in your tear ducts escape.

you were forced to halt when you felt a strong grip on your forearm. sunghoon turned you around to face him, his brows furrowed whilst he bit his bottom

"y/n.." he gulped as he saw how your eyes got teary immediately. "i'm sorry, it's not like that at all."

"so why were you holding her hand? with the biggest smile on your face?" he kept his mouth shut, unable to form an answer. this only made you frustrated even more.

pulling your arm back, you cleared your throat and looked down on your shoe. "you could've turned me down instead of making me hope- nevermind.. see you around."

sunghoon watched you walk away from him helplessly, mentally beating himself up for not clearing things up.

[freshlove-sturn]

texts w bsf!chris

pt1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

contains: texts AND a regular fic/ blurb (creds to @ivyyyyyysposts), mutual pining, flirting, fem!reader, use of y/n, uhh i think that’s it?

i look up from my phone and see chris and his brothers standing there, huge smiles spread across their faces. chris has a sign in his hands with my name scribbled in his chicken scratch handwriting.

i run over to them, my feet barely touching the ground as i sprint, weaving in and out of people and their luggage.

“chris!” i call out, his arms opening wide to catch me as i throw myself into his embrace. the strength and warmth of the hug enveloping my body completely.

he lifts me off the ground, spinning us around as we both laugh. the sound echoing through the terminal. just for a second it felt like we were the only two people in the world. i bury my face in his shoulder, taking in the familiar comforting scent of his cologne.

“i missed you so much.” i whisper. my voice choked with emotion.

“missed you more.” he replied. his voice laced with the same emotion.

he sets me down gently and i look up into his eyes, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness.

we were together again and nothing else mattered.

i hug matt and nick. who then tell me that they had no idea until this morning that i was coming.

“chris!” i look over at him, with my eyes wide.

“what? i forgot.” he shrugs. i smile and roll my eyes.

as we walk toward the exit, chris grabs my suitcase from my hands.

“here i got that.” he tells me.

“chris-“

before i can protest, he cuts me off. “i got it.”

i accept defeat, knowing chris wasn’t going to let up on his stubbornness.

“and they say chivalry is dead.” nick sighs, earning a laugh from the rest of us.

we get to the car and chris loads up my suitcase.

“nick you can sit in front.” chris says, opening the car door for me before going around the the other side and getting in.

“you’re letting nick have front? what’s gotten into you?” matt says shocked, turning around in his seat and looking at chris.

“i’m just excited to catch up with y/n. that okay with you?” chris fired back, slightly annoyed.

matt puts his arms up in defense. “nothing wrong with it. just surprised is all.”

the ride to the triplets house is nothing short of what i imagined it being. arguing over who had aux, dragging whoever had aux, arguing over what we were gonna eat later, the usual.

once we arrive, chris opens the door for me again. “chris i know how to open my own door.” i tell him.

he just grins and shakes his head. “no chance. i’m doing everything for you. don’t even lie, i know you love the princess treatment.”

i laugh, feeling both amused and touched at his insistence. “seriously chris, i appreciate it but im totally capable.”

“come on, let me spoil you a little.” he says.

“chris you literally flew me out to la with a first class plane ticket. you’ve done enough spoiling.” i roll my eyes playfully and we walk inside.

“there’s plenty more where that came from. trust me” he winks.

“whatever. just don’t get too used to it. i don’t want you thinking im helpless or something.” i say following him to his room.

“i know you’re far from helpless y/n. just let me have this.” he opens his bedroom door, letting me in and following in after.

i notice a small bedside table, loaded with all the snacks he bought me.

“did you seriously buy all of that for me?” i smile.

he runs the back of his neck and smiles back at me sheepishly “yeah. i just wanted to make sure you had everything you needed. i got pads and stuff too, they’re in my bathroom under the sink. and a toothbrush and toothpaste.”

i felt a warmth spreading through me. “you’re the best chris. like actually.”

“anything for you. i wanted to make sure it was perfect.” he shrugs, trying to play it cool.

“well i think you did a pretty good job.” i smile.

he looks over at me and our eyes lock for a moment. “i’m really glad you’re here.”

“me too chris.” i say softly, feeling a flutter in my chest.

i have a feeling this is going to be the death of me.

[veryberryjelly]

☕️- 35 with Theodore Nott

❤️❤️

𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

35 - kissing you against a wall / door, legs intertwined around their waist.

you had never imagined you would find someone you love as much as theodore not.

he is the most attentive, kind and loving partner ever. and he always made a big fuss over you so you wanted to do the same for him.

his 18th birthday.

you wanted it to be perfect.

so you had asked his friends for help organising a party for him.

you did your best to keep him out of the dorm after classes, taking him for a walk and a small picnic at the lake.

you knew his friends needed you both gone until 6, so you kept taking glances at his watch to make sure you didnt stay out too long even if you did want to stay out here all night.

but when you saw the time on his watch you knew you had to wrap it up out here and take him inside.

when you arrived back at the slytherin dungeons after a lovely quiet walk, you entered infront of theo, leading him into the common room with a nervous smile on your lips.

the minute he came into view the entire room erupted in cheers of 'surprise' and 'happy birthday'

the common room was draped in banners and streamers and there were tables on either end of the room with food and drink.

not everyone had actually been invited, you had managed to convince some of the students from the younger years to stay in there dorms for a few hours, so he was surrounded by people he liked and cared about.

within seconds theo was being pulled into the middle of the room by his friends and you headed over to some of the girls to let him enjoy his night with his mates.

it was about 30 minutes later that theo found you to pull you away from your conversation with pansy.

your brows furrowed softly when he started leading you up the stairs towards his dorm.

" theo, what are we doing..?" your initial thought was that he was dragging you away because he didn't like the party.

" are you not enjoying yourself? " you stuttered slightly, following him up to his dorm and walking in after him when he opened the door. " i'm so sorry, i thought you'd like this, i'm such an idiot.. i-i can clear everyone out if that's what you w-"

you were cut off from your nervous rambling when theo grabbed your cheeks and pressed his lips to yours. only when you slightly relaxed into it did he pull back and swipe his thumb under your eye to catch the frustrated tear that had fallen there.

" i love it... darling, no one has ever done anything like this for me. and i love you so much for doing this for me "

the smile on his face squashed any of your previous fears that he hated it.

" i'm so glad you liked it..." was all you could think to say before he had his lips on yours again and his hands were travelling down your waist to grab at your thighs and hoist you up onto him.

your legs instantly wrapped around his waist, feet interlocking behind him to keep yourself secured.

his hands moved to under your ass to support you. when he stumbled slightly you let out a soft laugh, cut short when you felt your back press against the door to his dorm.

he pushed you further up against the surface, his lips trailing down your neck and shoulder.

suddenly all the work you had put into his party dissipated and all you cared about was this boy sucking a hickey onto your chest while your dress rode up around your hips.

[elllisaaa]

heyheyhey~ just saw that you want your inbox to come alive again, so here i am! i just had this nasty thought of heeseung, shy, gentle, timid heeseung being nervous around you. he's never beat his meat before and is kinda embarrassed about being inexperienced in this field. so you decided to help him, throwing him into the world of pure pleasure. heeseung gets so overwhelmed but obsessed with it..

BLESSED - L. HEESEUNG

-> pairing : inexperienced!heeseung x fem!reader

-> words count : 1.4k

-> genre : smut

-> warnings : sub!heeseung & dom!reader, teasing, dirty talk, praising, unprotected sex, creampie, riding, dry humping, use of 'good boy', mention of oral (f. receiving), begging

+ the way i'm depicting heeseung does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : yes omggg i love loser/inexperienced!enha it's literally my favourite concept ever i'm so glad i'm the only one to be thinking about it ! might have an idea for a full fic because of this too 😏 sorry i went a little overboard but the thought drove me crazy. hope you'll like it !

-> masterlist | enha masterlist

INEXPERIENCED!HEESEUNG who so badly wants to have his first time but who cannot, for the life of him, talk to a girl without losing his composure. he's so fucking awkward that at this point, he's convinced that he's going to end his last year of college without having done more than makeout with a stranger at a frat party.

INEXPERIENCED!HEESEUNG who is kinda obsessed with you. you're one of sunghoon's friend, but you're also the prettiest girl he's ever seen. his thoughts are innocent at first - he wants to take you out on a date, hold your hands and be your boyfriend. but the more he sees you, the more perverted he gets. heeseung constantly thinks about fucking you, about seeing you naked and sucking on your tits. it's disgusting and he knows it, but he can't help it.

INEXPERIENCED!HEESEUNG who, despite his obvious attraction to you, cannot talk to you or hold your gaze for more than a few seconds. everytime he crosses your eyes, his cheeks heat up and he's so nervous he stumbles over his words every so often. he's pathetic, and he knows it, and there's no hope that you'll ever look his way and want him as much as he wants you.

but despite what heeseung thinks, you find him cute - it's cute how anxious he is around you, and how he can't help but stare at you during your shared classes or when you see him from afar at one of the parties his friends drag him too. you think he's cute, and you're only waiting for him to make a move on you, because all you want is to jump his bones.

"i've never fucked anyone." all the people in the circle scoff at the question one of the girls asked, a little too innocent to your taste as everyone in the circle drinks except for one person. everyone is already drunk, and no one except you notices that heeseung didn't take a sip of the cup in front of him, his cheeks getting even more red as he notes that you saw that.

"so you're a virgin ?" the question is thrown at him so suddenly, heeseung jumps and turns around to discover your silhouette hugged by a tight, black dress, leaning against the door of the kitchen. you're alone with him, and you're asking him that ? his brain immediately stops working despite his embarrassment. "i… uh… yeah. if you're here to make fun of me-" - "not at all, heeseung, i'm not that cruel." you interrupt him as you slowly get closer to him. heeseung wants to ask you what you want from him, but he feels a little dizzy from the alcohol he drank and from your presence alone, in the same room as him, your body so close to his you're almost touching. but your next words are what really send him into a coma : "i want to help you."

his eyes open wide, mouth hanging open for so long you lightly chuckle, and the sound makes heeseung's heart beat faster. but what truly amaze him is your hand coming up to caress his cheek. and he can't believe this is real and not a dream. "don't look at me like that, it seems like i told you something awful." - "n-no ! it's just… i…" but heeseung can't find any words to describe the way he's already half hard in his pants at the mere suggestion of you and him in the same bed. "don't you want me to teach you how to make me cum ? don't you want to fuck me ? i'm not blind, baby, i see the way you're checking me out all the time." heeseung is torn between being ashamed that you were aware of his perverted behaviour all this time, or being even more turned on by your proposal. "so, do you want me to teach you everything or not ?" - "fuck, yes, i do."

you lead heeseung upstairs to one of the rooms of the frat that he doesn't recognize but at this point he doesn't care because you're already pushing him down to sit on the bed, straddling his thighs. heeseung looks at you like you're a goddess, and you smile down at him when he hesitates on where to put his hands. you grab his wrists and guide his hands to land on your ass. as if you awakened something in him, heeseung squeezes the soft flesh over your clothes, making you gasp. "good boy. you're a quick learner." - "tell me and i'll do anything."

heeseung is anxious, but the adrenaline of having his crush, the girl of his dream, the most gorgeous woman on the world sitting on his lap and devouring his mouth is taking over him. he can't help but feel pathetic at the way he's moaning in your mouth as you're grinding against his already rock hard dick. "sure that's your first time, hee ?" - "yeah, why ?" - "you're good kisser, think you could really eat me out well with a little bit of practice." heeseung invonluntarily buck his hips up against you, whining against your lips at the mere mention of your wet cunt in his mouth. but for now, you only want to give him the time of his life.

"take off your clothes, baby. you're gonna let me fuck you, right ?" heeseung never answered "yes" so quickly in his life, making you giggle as you watch him fight with his sweater to get out of it. he is so excited that the embarrassment is slowly dying. when he lays back down on the bed, you have gotten rid of your dress, only left with your black underwear and heeseung is already drooling over your body. if someone had told him that he would see you half naked this morning, he would've told them that they were crazy.

"you're perfect, fuck…" - "thank you. you look good too, hee. never thought you could hide such a body underneath all these clothes, uh ?" his cheeks turn bright red again as you praise him - at least, all these hours spent at the gym are worth it now - and start to run your fingers along his skin. you smirk at seeing the shivers come alive on his body and his cock twitch at the soft contact.

as you're getting out of your underwear, heeseung still has the mind to ask you about protection. "wait, wait ! i-i don't have any condoms on me." he looks away, and you laugh at how red he is. you cup his face to direct his gaze back at yours. "if you're okay with that, you can fuck me raw, hee." heeseung has to close his eyes and bite his lips not to moan at the mention of feeling your pussy without any barrier. "please, please, let me have you like that." - "no need to beg baby, you're gonna have me."

you get on top of him, sliding your pussy against his cock to get him all wet with your slick. it is something straight out of his wildest fantasies - to have you lining up his dick to your hole and sinking down on him. "f-fuck ! you're so tight… feels so good…" the smirk stretching out your lips at seeing him gone already is even more sexy to him. you are going to have so much fun with him, that's for sure.

"i'm gonna move, yeah ?" heeseung nodded, his hands resting on your waist but not guiding you in any way. you slowly start to rock your hips back and forth, and the boy underneath you immediately moans, overwhelmed by the feeling of your warm hole swallowing his dick. he never imagined that he could have the girl of his dreams, bouncing on his dick. but here he is, and it feels so good he wonders why he waited so long to lose his virginity.

"please, please, please…" heeseung is begging, but he doesn't even know what he's begging for anymore. he's lost in the feeling of your wet cunt, of your tits bouncing in front of his face and of your little whimpers. "you're so big, hee. filling me up so well." your nasty words are all he needs to cum deep inside of you, painting your walls white with a broken cry of your name.

"you're good ?" - "fuck, yeah." heeseung answers with a content sigh. he already knows that he will never get enough of you, but now he needs to return the favor, needs to show you that he's willing to fulfill your desires too. "can i eat you out ? please, teach me." you look down at him with a smirk. his eagerness is definitely turning you on and you are sure that with some practice, he will become very good at pleasing you and only you.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

enha taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@bbgnyx @hann1bee @snouvllvg @puppy-minnie @binniesbabygirl @foxinnie8

[siflshonen]

I’d love to interpret bkdk as romantic but I will be honest, it is difficult to do when a het ship is being hinted at more explicitly. I’m still glad Horikoshi did not include a full-on confession though. We can do what we want in fics without having to rework canon.

Love your posts, thank you for your wonderful insights into bkdk. Your meta is always well-done.

I know this ask was originally meant for someone else, and you’re absolutely right that bakuhatsufallinlove does fantastic meta. You’re very wise to see how great of a job they do and it’s kind of you to say so. It’s also very kind of you to read my posts.

I’m about to not be quite so kind.

I hate Izuocha. And I’m annoyed by the insinuation that Ochako breaking down in tears over Himiko to Izuku - her big moment of bearing her emotions out in the open to him - is seen as an endgame romance, especially since the only other detail we have to go off of is Ochako smiling at Izuku in their hero suits when Todoroki is kinda doing the same thing, AND when I should DAMN WELL hope Ochako and Izuku are still friends and looking out for each other, especially since they bonded over the traumatic deaths of those they failed to save.

I’m insulted that Ochako’s confessions to Himiko are disregarded like that, or the tumultuous chaos she grapples with in her heart is brushed aside. I’m insulted by the insinuation that Ochako’s known love of seeing happy, smiling people is not acknowledged and instead her expressing joy over seeing that on Izuku’s face is painted over as being implied, for-sure romantic endgame. Maybe it is, sure. Anything is possible. I’m sure Himiko wants the best for Ochako and for her to be happy, and would probably think it was romantic that her feelings also reached Izuku by way of Ochako as being someone they mutually loved.

But Himiko is dead and it ripped Ochako apart, and her reaction to that is the last in-depth look we get at her feelings. Izuku recognizing that Ochako is a hero in her own right (not a heroine, aka a damsel for the hero to save and then end up with romantically per Japanese storytelling roles, not just “a female hero” like we think of it in English) is gratifying and wonderful. And I’m insulted by the insinuation that just because Izuku acknowledges that Ochako is and has been his hero and always saved him that this must mean that they are implied to be the romantic endgame. God forbid they mutually admire each other and respect each other and the story just ends there, and god forbid Izuku calling her his hero sends a totally different message.

Now, as for Katsuki. You cannot tell me that he doesn’t have some kind of deep feelings for Izuku. @bakuhatsufallinlove has posted extensively about unspoken feelings with a likewise unspoken understanding are common for Japanese romances, but I’ll admit I’m not here to talk about that.

Do you really want to tell me that Horikoshi-sensei allowing Katsuki and Izuku to keep their arms and have an implied handhold at the end doesn’t mean as much as whatever the fuck Ochako is doing in the final panel?

In Naruto, which BNHA takes many cues from, Sasuke and Naruto had their arms ripped off because the editor didn’t approve of the two of them holding hands in panel. Apparently, that’s too romantic and inappropriate for the male leads of a shonen. Given that, how interesting that the doctor recommended that Katsuki’s hand-holding arm be amputated. How interesting that Katsuki refuses. How interesting that Katsuki refuses while thinking not just of All Might, probably not really of All Might, but Izuku. How interesting that Izuku also keeps both arms, and we as readers are very certain they held hands even if it is not shown.

How interesting that Katsuki is not just the heart of Izuku’s mech suit project (and, in some respects, of the class,) but of Izuku’s image of victory, Izuku’s “Pro Hero with a quirk” origin, the heart of what he believes a real hero is like, and the literal actual heart of what he wanted to defend from ShigAFO multiple times over. How interesting that Katsuki’s story is in part him learning how to not be a burden to Izuku or used against him like, say, a heroine-damsel-in-distress might be used, AND it is also in part him learning to come to terms with his feelings for Izuku. In fact, we spend basically the whole manga dwelling on this with him. It’s that important that he reconciled Izuku with his heart and desires.

Izuku, who is so tearfully happy that Katsuki wants to be with him for the rest of their lives in whatever form that takes, even when they weren’t sure he was going to have a quirk and be able to be Katsuki’s superhero rival. Izuku, who is so happy to be with Kacchan and the class as a hero again, in part BECAUSE it is with Kacchan………….and everyone else on the next page.

Nothing is for sure. Nobody kissed or got married or whatever, sure. But you really want to tell me Izuocha is more heavily implied based on the ending?

Thanks for the ask. I’m sorry you feel that way. Get off my lawn.

[slxshrfvcker]

Jealousy, Jealousy

A complete rewrite of a requested post on my main tumblr @whisqeringwqlker (i barely use that anymore)

(This is the request by @walking-anxious-disaster made like a year or two ago 😭)

⚠️‼️MINORS DO NOT INTERACT‼️⚠️

Content warnings; Billy ‘cheating’, jealousy, fem!reader, confessions, angst, SMUT (oral w/ fem receiving, orgasm denial teasing, p in v sex) pregnancy worries(?)

Billy was getting pretty distant now days, and you were sure it was because of that Sidney girl from the third period that he recently met along side Stu and his girl…

See, you and Billy were the best of friends, tightest pair in the school, basically glued at the hip (well, besides him and Stu) and had been since you two were toddlers, maybe a bit older, as you two had met in preschool, and unknowingly formed a tight packed bond that would pretty much make sure you two were inseparable.

It seemed like every single night before Sidney he was at your house, watching those cheesy horror movies, or staying the night when he and his dad got into it over the smallest of things. Your mother always welcomed him at the house, happily letting him eat at the dinner table when he stayed and even stay in your room with the door shut, because she believed the two of you weren’t those kinds of friends and mature enough to not do anything stupid.

And now? He barely even called you, or visited your house. He wasn’t hanging out much with you anymore, only taking Stu with him to hang out with their other friends that just so happened to include Sidney Prescott. You felt alone, betrayed and upset about it, so you too started to pretty much completely avoid him, the others, and Stu. You would find yourself focusing your bitter, jealous gaze at Sidney, and would gave an excuse that you had to go to class or something to escape Billy's company if he tried to approach you. In all honesty Billy was sort of concerned about the fact you were constantly running away from him or busy with something if he did try to engage with you. It never clicked in his brain that you were just jealous, he thought he had done something wrong himself.

It was now Monday, and the sixth period had just ended, school was finally over and was letting their students out and you couldn’t be more glad about this, shoving your things into your school bag and rushing out of the classroom, you blew past Billy who was walking his way over to you after he saw you leave your classroom in such a hurry. Billy was simply coming up to invite you over to Stu’s place for a movie night, a small smile on his lips and his hand raised up as he was about to speak, but as soon as you noticed him you ducked your head down and sped-walked passed him, shoulder brushing his on the way out the school doors and you disappeared within the crowd of students. He stood there with shock on his face and his hand falling down to his side, absolutely confused to hell about why that had just occurred. He looked around in embarrassment before going to find Stu to walk to his car and go home with him.

Once you got home, your mother emerged from the kitchen with a bright smile as she dried off a dish, asking you how your day went, but with a fake smile and a hand raised to dismiss her, you gave her an excuse, saying you had homework to do and you wanted to work on it before it got too late. You went up to your bedroom and locked the door behind you as per usual since you enjoyed the privacy and your mother never thinks to knock. You sat cross-legged on your bed, grabbing your books from your bag and opening them up, taking a pencil and starting to scribbled down some lines under some pointers on what the teacher talked about that day before starting the actual assignment.

A thud at your window startled you, your head snapping up and looking at it in horror as it started sliding up, a cool breeze blowing into your room and rustling your papers. Albeit a little startled, you stood up off your bed, glancing around with a split second decision to grab anything to protect yourself before your eyes focused on an empty glass vase on the nightstand. Grabbing it quickly, you raised it up and snuck closer to the window, ready to bring it down upon the head of your intruder. The amount of relief that flooded you to see that it was only Billy caused you to exhale loudly, hand going to rest on your chest as you moved to your nightstand, placing the vase back down. “Billy, you shouldn’t be here.” You said coldly, a little too harsh than meant to be. Billy’s brows puzzled as he got in through the window, standing there while fiddling with some things on your dresser that sat by the window. “Well you were kind of avoiding me and I was worried, so I came over to check on you… are you alright?” He asked finally as his eyes met yours, taking a few strides closer to your bed as you moved to sit on it.

With a soft huff, you closed your books and stacked them on the side of your nightstand, taking a look at Billy who moved to sit carefully on your bed since he knew the frame was pretty old and the wood was starting to split. You rolled your eyes at the concern and waved your hand as a dismissal. “Sorry I’ve been so busy Billy, but it’s kind of more important than friends right now," You half assed explained.

Honestly he didn't buy any of those words you just said, but only nodded in somewhat of an understanding. "I'm a bit worried about you, Y/N/N. You’re avoiding me and acting all weird whenever I hang out with Stu and the others." He said, moving a bit to lean his upper back against the fragile wooden frame, wincing a bit as it creaked under his weight.

"I uh,” you didn’t know what to say to that, it was odd coming from him of all people. You frowned before avoiding all eye contact as you gathered the courage to admit to him why you’ve been this way to him and the others. “I’m just, I’m just jealous I guess? Because when you and Sidney started seeing each other I started noticing how much my heart would break each time you two would be so close and I realized that my feelings for you are more than platonic, so I just started avoiding you to save myself the heartbreak and embarrassment.” You seemed to murmur the whole thing, feeling odd emotions bubble in your chest.

"Woah woah woah, you think me and Sidney are dating?" He could almost laugh at that thought. When he noticed your expression his own softened and his hand moved to rest on your knee. “There's nothing going on between us, Y/N. And you could have just told me how you felt in the first place as soon as you figured them out, and this whole encounter wouldn’t have happened." Billy chuckled softly, making your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and your eyes sting with tears. "Besides, I feel that way for you too," Billy said all nonchalantly, smirking at the sight of your eyes widening and cheeks blistering with a soft rosy red. “What? Really?” You blinked in surprise at him, tears long forgotten and embarrassment faded.

Billy nodded, moving closer to you. “Yeah, of course… you haven’t noticed?” He laughed, thumb brushing the side of your knee as he gazed at you. A small smile filled your lips as you blushed a deeper shade of red, averting your gaze to meet with his. “I… I guess I haven’t,” you pointed out, swallowing as his gaze seemed to flick from your eyes to your lips, gears in his head turning as he contemplated on just kissing you then and there. “Now that we have that all out of the way,” Billy piped up after a few beads of silence. “Can we experiment a bit? Just the two of us?” He offered.

Confused by what he meant, you looked at him. “And that experiment is…?” You questioned meekly before he just smiled, shuffling closer to you and pressing his forefinger and thumb on your cheek, pulling your face closer to his as he breathed out a simple word. “This,” and with that his lips were upon yours, warm and soft like you imagined. The kiss was smooth and passionate, his lips slotting with yours perfectly as you two dipped into more heated territory. He pulled back at the first sign you both were losing air, and he grinned at you as you panted to catch your breath.

There was a comforting silence between the two of you as you gazed at each other, his thumb brushed your skin and that is what caused you to throw all reason out of the window. With your hands bunching the collar of his baby blue shirt you tugged him closer, pressing your lips to his again in a more heated, passionate, and dirty kiss. His body moved to press closer to yours as his lips moved in sync with yours, your thighs parting to allow him to slot himself between them, his upper body pushing you backwards towards the bed, his weight on top of yours now as his hips slowly ground down against yours, his clothed semi-hard on brushing against your clothes clit, causing you to let out a delicate breathless whimper. A soft groan left his lips at the sound as his lips started to trial down to your exposed collarbone.

“Billy,” you allowed yourself to moan, making him grunt, blood shooting to his cock as he enjoyed hearing you moan his name like that. “Yeah?” He lifted his head to meet your eyes as he kissed along your collarbones and even daring to pull the collar of your shirt down enough to kiss the top of your chest. “Please,” was all you could manage, needing more than just kissing and grinding. “Please what?” He dared, as he pulled back to lift your shirt off you. “Tell me princess,” he kissed and sucked marks along your chest and above your bra line.

“Please don’t make me beg,” you whined, thighs enclosing around his hips as you arched up against him, begging to be touched more. “Then what’s the fun?” Billy smirked against your skin as he pulled back to unhook your bra and toss it across the room, before taking off his own shirt. You swallowed, eyes raking up and down his chest as your hands went up to graze the light brown chest hair across his pecks and the dark pink scar that ran along his sternum. “What’s this from?” You dared, as he kissed along your jaw and neck, humming at your question. “Surgery,” he simply said as he moved his lips down your body, paying extra attention to the spot below your belly button before he got to the button on your denim jeans.

His hands expertly popped the button open and dragged the zipper down, sliding your jeans and underwear off with one fluid motion. He tossed them in the same direction of your bra before his lips kissed and sucked lightly on your folds, before he parted them and licked a broad strip from your dripping hole to your clit, making sure to flick it at the end to feel you jolt against him. He smirked and his arms caged around your knees as he kept your thighs parted, tongue licking circles around your clit and pressing flatly against your seeping hole. Hearing your soft moans caused him to get impossibly harder, aching in his jeans. He ate your pussy like a starved man, tongue delving into your heat before be glided it along your clit again, before starting the same cycle again. Your breaths were picking up and you were mewling under his touch, pussy fluttering from his skilled mouth.

“S-stop teasing!” You whined as you wanted more than this. You felt him smirk before his arm left one of your knees, only to squeak out when you felt his fingertips grazing your hole, his tongue flicking against your clit as they did so. You moaned for him, bucking your hips up. He finally slipped one finger into your needy cunt, curling it once to find your spot, and once he did he added another finger, and then another once you were stretched enough. His skilled tongue and fingers worked you up to the point of teetering of the edge of bliss, but as of off cue he pulled his fingers from you and stopped licking all together. He smirked up at you, his lips and chin glistening with your juices as he gave you a cheeky look.

“Asshole,” you cried out, feeling your orgasm fading. “Please stop teasing Bill,” you let the whimper escape your throat. He chuckled and tutted before letting go of you and undoing his jeans, pulling them off and tossing them across the room with his boxers too. He crawled up your body and kissed you, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. Moaning out, you felt him reach down and glide his hard on through your wet folds, gathering enough lubricant on his dick before he positioned it at your fluttering hole, gently pushing in enough to get the tip in. He let out a breathless groan as he continued pushing into you at an agonizingly slow pace, letting you adjust to his massive size. He listened to your little mewls and whimpers as he filled you to the brim, bottoming out completely. His forehead pressed against yours as he slowly pulled back from you and the slammed his hips into you again, making your body jolt upwards with the force.

You cried out, hands grasping at his back and shoulder blades, nails raking down his skin as he started to set a somewhat slow but hard pace, his lips kissing yours with fever as he started to pick up speed eventually. Your breaths mingled as his eyes stared deep into yours, brown meet E/C orbs as he thrusted sharply into your cunt. “Billy,” you moaned, pussy fluttering as you needed some more stimulation to get you to your much needed orgasm. He took the sign and reached his hand down between your bodies, finding your clit and brushing his thumb in tight circles against it, which caused your eyes to roll and mouth fall open, tongue lolling out the side. You moaned, getting louder with each passing second until he had to kiss you to silence you, his thumb brushing faster with his movements as he grew closer to his own high.

Within seconds your pussy contracted on his dick and you tumbled into the blissful orgasm you had needed since the start, thighs trembling as you struggled to keep them parted, pussy fluttering and contracting on his cock as he struggled to hold his own orgasm back, thumb and dick working your through yours before he allowed himself to cum, his hips stuttering and stilling, dick buried into yours still-fluttering cunt as he spilled his seed into you, his breathing labored with yours as you both started coming down from your respective highs. He stayed in you for a moment, head pressed to your chest as he tried catching his breath along side you. His eyes were closed and he settled in the bliss of post-orgasm with you until it was rudely interrupted by your mother calling your name from outside your door, jiggling the door handle. “Y/N? Dinner is ready! Cmon!” She called as she went back downstairs. You both looked at eachother and let out soft laughs as he parted from you, pulling his softened cock out of you as he sat back and watched his cum flow out of you, his fingers going over pushing it back in.

You smiled sleepily at him, before realizing the two of you forgot protection. “Oh fuck, Billy we forgot—“ he silenced you with a quick kiss. “Shhh shhh, it’s fine, I doubt it’s gonna make a difference or do anything, and if it does we will handle it, okay?” He said as he got up off the bed and started to dress himself. You frowned before nodding, getting out of bed and getting dressed as well. It wasn’t until you got by your door you noticed the bed tilting to the side, the leg had snapped in the process of your guys’ fucking. You giggled as he noticed it too. “Oh shit,” he laughed with you before you sighed in remembrance of dinner downstairs.

“Do you wanna stay? you can leave through the window and go to the front door to make it seem we didn’t just fuck.” You giggled a bit, and he hummed. “I would love to, Y/N/N, but like you I also have homework to do so I should be getting home… I’ll make it up to you I promise. Okay? I’ll see you at school tomorrow?” He moved to embrace you, and you sighed, smiling and leaning into his touch. “Okay, I’m holding you to that…” you said as he pulled away. “Okay. I love you,” he murmured as he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. You kissed him back and smiled, waving as he climbed out of the window and disappeared into the night. Sighing you went downstairs, then a thought occurred. How would you explain the bed to your mom?

[pixxiies]

anything for an A+ .

pairing ;; professor!matt x student!fem!oc

warnings ;; SMUTTTT🤞🤞 , age gap (matt is 27 reader is 22), cursing , making out , oral (m receiving) , p in v , fingering , unprotected sex (pls dont!!) , pet names (princess, sweetheart, etc) , lowercase intended and thats it!

a/n ;; pls bare w me im too shy to write on here but first smut post i hope yall likey!!! this is for my baby kitten whiskers; @mattsluttywaist and @cheetahmadi 🥳🥳 also this looked better in drafts

pink: you

blue: matt

. . . . .

“remember, no talking during the test.” was what pulled me out of the trance that i was in. i blinked as i noticed that i was staring at my professor for the entire time he talked about the test we were about to take. professor matthew was walking around the class to give everyone the papers.

“if i catch you talking, i will invalidate your test.” i let out a loud sigh as he placed the paper infront of me, remembering me of the last time that i accidentally spoke during an exam and it led me to get a zero. “yes sir.” i picked up my pencil from my pencil case and started to write my name.

a few hours felt like 10 minutes when my professor said that time was up. i looked down at my test for it not to be completed. “fuck.” i mumbled under my breath. my fingers flipped through the pages to see how many questions i had left. many students had started to walk down to the professors desk to turn it in, soon i was the last student in the class.

“ms. stallord, i said time was up.” he spoke, walking up to my desk. i groan and slouch into my chair. “sir, please is it okay if i finish this after school? i cant afford to fail.” i pout as i looked up at him, his arms crossed with his sleeves rolled up. the brunette shook his head, trying to think of something.

���lets do this.” matt said as he grabbed the packet of paper and walked back to his desk, signaling for me to follow him. i swallowed the lump in my throat while walking close enough to him that i could smell his cologne.

i watched him sit down in his desk and taking out what i assumed was the packet with the answers. the classroom remained quiet for a few minutes, the brunette probably grading what i had done. “C-“ he finally spoke up. i roll my eyes and let out a frustrated whine. “seriously??” matt took off his glasses, “its still passing.” he shrugged. i bit my bottom lip and let it bounce back as i thought. “is there anything i can do at all for extra credit?” i asked, tilting my head to the left and taking a seat next to his desk matt let his glasses on top of his head and pressed his fingers against his mouth. “hmmm, not that i know of, i dont think there is sweetheart.” he replied calmly. my heart skipped a beat as he called me sweetheart in such a way. “i would do anything sir. i cant have my mom know i got a C- on this exam.” i was practically begging at this point. “you got that grade because you didn’t finish the test, probably because you were looking at me. that correct?” he asked me, his head tilting to the side with a cocky smirk spread on his lips. i blinked rapidly when i heard what he had said. but to make it worse, he wasn’t lying. i wasn’t even looking, i was staring. “s-sorry what sir?” i muttered quickly. “you really don’t think i notice ms. stallord?” he chuckled a little bit. i stayed quiet, my cheeks a pink hue.

“now that i pointed it out, you stay silent huh?” matthew stated, his eyebrow raised ever so slightly. “no thats not it um.” i spoke quietly. “i don’t really mean to stare its just that uhm. you are very attractive.. sir.” the sentences left my mouth in a sheepish shaky tone. he laughed quietly to my embarrassment. “dont worry about it. i dont mind.” the brunette said, adjusting his seat so he was closer to me now. god i wanted to kiss him so bad. “o-oh okay, im glad sir.” i replied quietly, my eyes flickering to his lips and my tongue licking my lips to rehydrate them. “please, call me matt.” he mumbled, looking at my eyes then my lips. i listened to my gut and leaned in for a kiss, surprisingly getting one from him back.

my eyes fluttered shut, my heart pounding against my chest as my hands found their way to his loose brunette locks that i messed with slightly. matt nibbled on my bottom lip before sliding his tongue into my mouth. i whined softly, now somehow getting ontop of his lap. my legs were now wrapped around his hips and my hands rested on his shoulders. goosebumps covered each piece of skin matt had been touching. i felt one of his hands slide underneath my shirt, i shivered slightly at how cold his hand actually was.

his mouth detached from mine and he started to leave wet open mouthed kisses along my jawline and neck. small moans come out of my mouth as he did so, my hand trailed up to his head and i started to scratch his scalp gently. “will this make up the C-, sir?” i asked in an innocent tone as i looked down at him. “if you kneel for me, perhaps.” matt whispered, letting go of my hips and resting his hands back on the arm rests. i smirked with an obedient nod as i slid off of his lap and in between his legs. i kneeled in between his clothed thighs, my hands sliding up and down on them softly. i unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down and threw them somewhere in the classroom.

matt was left in his light grey boxers that had a small dark stain from his pre-cum on them. my fingers hooked around the waistband of his boxers and i pulled them down. his 7.4in slapped my face lightly as soon as i took off his boxers.

my mouth began to practically drool as soon as i saw him fully. i wrapped my cold palm around his base firmly and stroked him slowly. i made sure to make my thumb slide right through his slit.

“fuckk.” he whined, looking down at me. i looked up at him with innocent doe eyes as my hand began to stroke him up and down a bit more quicker now. i kissed his tip before taking him entirely in my mouth.

i felt his hand turn down to my hair, he grasped it and made it into a makeshift ponytail. my tongue slid over the head of his cock as i bopped my head up and down. i heard a string of swears pouring out of matt’s name while he began to thrust his ups upward. “fuck fuck yes yes.” the brunette groaned out. he started to twitch in my mouth which told me that he was getting close. soon enough, he spewed his cum down my throat. his cock left my mouth with a wet pop. i rubbed off any of his white liquid that was on my mouth. “you did so well.” he purred, i kissed his tip one last time and earning a small whine from him.

i stood back up and before i could say anything, he grabbed me and sat me down on his lap. “oh princess im not done with you.” the brunette said, placing his hands on my hips. my core was begging for any sort of friction.

matt’s hand slid underneath my skirt, his thumb rubbed over my clothed clit gently. a small whine left my lips as i tried to balance myself by having my hands on his shoulders. he hooked his slender fingers on my panties and he pushed them to the side. “your so wet already sweetheart.” he cooed, his fingers tracing my entrance. “dont tease.” i begged with my eyes fixating onto his face. matt tilted his head to the side as he slowly shoved his digits inside of my cunt.

his fingers slid easily in and out of me, they curled against my g-spot occasionally. i bit my bottom lip to hold back my small whimpers as i clenched around him. “oh shit.” i breathed out, my head leaning back slightly. matt thrusted his fingers in and out while the familiar knot started to form in my stomach. his slender digits continued to stab my pussy, but before i could finish on them he slid them out. “why’d you stop?” i pout with a small whimper. “not letting you finish just yet sweetheart.” matt spoke softly as he aligned his tip with my cunt.

before anything else, he slowly thrusted into me. as soon as he was inside of me, i made sure to squeeze around him perfectly. “tell me when i can move.” the brunette whispered so i could get a chance to adjust to his size. matt’s finger tips grazed my hips gently, his eyes fixated on my face. “o-okay.” a shaky moan left my lips. with no hesitation, he started to thrust in and out of me.

i leaned my head back when his tip kissed my sweet spot within every thrust. matt rested his hands against my hips a bit more roughly as he rutted his hips into mine. god he was so deep inside of me. i guess i was being a little bit too loud that caused matt to shove two of his fingers down my throat. “gotta be quiet baby.” he whispered, still plunging himself into my wet core. i coated his digits with my salvia, using the opportunity to do so. “m’so close sir.” i whine out when matt slid his fingers out of my mouth. his tip stabbed my cervix a few more times before the knot in my stomach started to form again. i felt him twitching inside of me, letting me know that he was about to cum again. “cum for me sweetheart.” he moaned out as his hips began to stutter into mine.

after a few more thrusts, i came all over his cock. it wasn’t too long before matt came deep inside of me ether. he fucked me through our high before he pulled himself out. “so, can i get an A+ now?” i asked with a small smirk spread on my face. “yes, you can sweetheart.”

. . . . .

a/n part 2: i started writing this at 4am and i finished at 4pm 😭😭 sorry if this isnt that good i hate writing fics publicly 😕

[reiden]

i wanna hold the hand inside you | r.itoshi

You think of Itoshi Rin, your first love, often; the one who never was and the one who got away. Unexpectedly, you find yourself reuniting with the boy you once knew right in front of your apartment.

cw: f!reader, reader has a habit of skin-picking, soft angst w/ happy ending, suggestive, slight hand obsession?

— ✦

You always feel uglier after you pick at your skin. Which defeats the purpose because you do it to rid yourself of an imperfection you've stumbled upon. And yet, after all is said and done and the skin has grown irritated, all you can think about is how you've only gotten uglier.

You used to pick at your face, scratching at any bumps or texture you spot in the mirror, but you've gotten better about it now. You've stopped doing it on your face altogether. It was one too many people who thought they were close enough with you to inadvertently call you ugly. You're pretty sure the first to do it had been Itoshi Sae, your neighbour two houses down. Back then, when you were only eight, you hadn't cared that he thought your habit was unbecoming. It didn't matter what Sae thought — you had Rin.

One day, you realised you didn't really have Rin either.

Since then, you've moved onto your hands.

Your face is the important part, no one ever really looks at hands. You might think about it if you were to give a handshake, but when you think of that person from memory later that day, you'll think of their face. As long as your face is left alone, it doesn't matter what happens to the skin around your nails.

But you like looking at hands. They reveal so much about someone. Whether or not they clean their nails, if they paint them, if their hands are soft or calloused — all of these things are like clues that fit together to form the bigger picture of their life. Your own hands must give away the parts of you that you would prefer to stay hidden — like the fact that you pick at your skin. Itoshi Rin has beautiful hands. His hands were pretty enough that you were glad he played a sport that relied on his legs and feet instead. You never told him that you thought so; he probably would have called you strange should he have found out.

He never seemed to value you in the same way you valued him.

You pull at your skin again, pushing it down with the edge of your nail just until you feel the sharp sting of it having gone too far. It's boring at your job, nothing much to do or see. You sit on an ergonomic moving chair behind a large wooden desk, adjusting calendars and making appointments. There isn't much mystique to your job, nothing to write home about, but it gets you through life just fine. Glancing over at the time, you decide to click through and answer a few more emails in time for lunch to roll around.

In junior high, you had wanted to be an artist. You joined the art club and begged your family to let you participate in painting and sketching classes. You kept sketchbook after sketchbook filled with doodles and things — mostly of hands. It's been a long running obsession of yours. You used to draw faces but ever since you stopped messing with your face, your drawings of them phased out too.

In senior high, a teacher told you that artists don't make money from drawing hands all day. It irked you enough that you let go of that dream. You wanted to become a nail technician, you decided. The day you changed your dream, you went to tell the only person you considered close enough to tell; you went to tell Rin. It was that day that you had to come to the startling realisation that your best friend didn't seem to consider you much of a friend anymore. You spent all of your lunch break looking for him, only to find him practising at the field behind your school. When you called out to him, he ignored you. He stopped answering your texts too. You discarded the sliver of hope you had kept safe within your chest — the very thing that made you believe you would get Rin back soon. Something had changed in him and you didn't know what because he never told you.

(Because he never seemed to value you in the same way you valued him.)

You found other friends. Rin always seemed to be alone. He pulled out of school for a football program a week later, and you decided to give up on becoming a nail technician.

There's a soft beep that rings out from your phone — just one singular chime at the lowest volume you set on your first day on the job — when it's time for your lunch break. You always take it at the same tonkatsu shop seven minutes away from your place of work.

Today, it takes you ten minutes to get there because the heels you've chosen to wear are new ones; you haven't broken them in yet. You bought them for a date that you never ended up going to. Guilt over standing them up had consumed you but you just couldn't muster up the courage to go. You were all too aware of the fact that some pathetic part of you was still clinging onto a boy you haven't seen for a long time.

You remember the brush of the wind through his fringe, the sharp determined glint in his emerald eyes. You still hold onto the way his name once had a home at the tip of your tongue. Even as the years pass, Itoshi Rin digs his teeth into your skin and remains with you; parasitic and tormenting.

You ease yourself into the table in the corner and make your order, scrolling through your phone while you wait. Your feed is full of recent news, some things you understand and others you're not quite sure you get. Rin is there too, mixed in between all the posts about celebrities and new dramas. You were always bad at watching football. You were bad with most sports, they could never keep your interest for long, but you tried for Rin's sake. When the both of you were younger, you'd sit on the grass at the park and watch Rin run through the drills he'd seen his brother do earlier.

As you stare at the pictures of him standing on the pitch, stadium lights spilling down on him, you can't help but feel proud. Sweat glistens along his hairline, his hair still cut in the same way he used to have it when you knew him. The captain's armband is stretched tight around his bicep as his arm curls to hold up a trophy.

The swell in your chest comes with an ache you've never learned to get rid of. This ache that's ever-present, always there like a guest you can't seem to send home. It had only been a small sting when your friendship with Rin fully fell apart, but it grew tenfold when you realised you were in love with him. You pick at your skin again, the same place from earlier. Pain blooms at your fingertip but you choose to ignore it as you scroll past the pictures; your heart squeezes and shudders against your will, even after all these years.

The day inches past, sweat gathers along the nape of your neck. You leave the building at five precisely, stagger into the subway station at half past five, and sink into a navy blue seat at a quarter to six. The backs of your brand new heels dig into your ankles and you're certain there will be blisters when you yank them off at home.

Even still, your day has been a good one. Despite the fact that your mother had called and urged you to visit home; despite today marking the anniversary you first met Itoshi Rin; despite the way your heart always sinks at the realisation that you still remember the significance of what should be another meaningless day. Despite it all, it had been good and you stare at the passerby walking along the platform, head pressed against the cool window.

(You wonder about Rin once more, like you always do. You wonder if he's walking amongst a crowd this evening, perhaps something fried in his hand, keeping his palm warm. Maybe he's holding a drink instead — lukewarm green tea. In another world, it might have been your hand.)

The train shakes to a start, rocking you from side to side and it becomes impossible to keep yourself awake. You drift off to the memory of a boy you once knew.

-

You're sure you're bleeding. The skin around your index nail is irritated, throbbing with a dull pain. Similarly, there's a sting — a quick flash of something white hot up your left calf — whenever you take a step. Your blister must have turned into a cut.

Your soles scrape against the road, shoulders loose and hunched forward as you meander your way home. The sun has set, disappearing into the skyline in the distance as the sky grows darker and the wind picks up. Streetlights have flickered to life and you pass by a salon still packed with customers, women resting against soft cushions as they converse. You roll your neck from side to side, attempting to release some of the tension that has gathered along your muscles from staying seated almost all day, fingers loosely wrapped around the straps of your bag.

Eyes trained on the fading white marks beneath your feet, you turn the corner into the alleyway you apartment building sits in. There's a crunch of someone taking a step towards you, and then — the call of your name, familiar, wrapped up in the gravelly tone of a voice too rough to belong to the boy you once knew. But you know it's him, anyway.

"Rin?" you tilt your head to the side, scanning over his features as he stands against the sunlight, soft shadows marking his pale skin. He remains silent, almost stunned as he stands across from you, so you speak again, "It's been a while." 

He doesn’t smile, but the corners of his mouth twitch in a way that suggests one. Rin is wearing a dark windbreaker, hands stuffed into its pockets. There's a loose thread hanging off the cuff around his wrist, a tiny rip of the outer fabric revealing the slight grey beneath. He clears his throat, "Yes, it has been." There's a pause then, neither of you willing to bridge the gap in conversation as the exhaust fans whir quietly. 

"How have you been?" Rin asks, taking a step towards you. You can smell him now, flowery and sweet; its lavender, which is what you had remembered him as. In a way, it comforts you — some things will stay the same and stand the test of time, no matter how many years have inched by.

“I’ve been good,” you hum. Truthfully, you haven’t quite been good in a long time. You’ve been alright, you’ve made it from day to day, you pay your bills on time and you see your friends every other weekend; but it’s not good — it's just alright. You don’t think Rin needs to hear that, not after how long it has been since you last heard his voice following after your own. 

It's strange to think about how his mother knows your name and your face, knows that you like lemonade with some raspberry in it; how Rin was there to witness the way you got every fading scar on your arms and legs. Standing before him now, you don't even know what his apartment might look like. Your lives, which were once so intricately intertwined, have unravelled and diverged to the point of obscurity.  

You've given him the room to say something, continue the conversation or choose to end it, but Rin is quiet as he takes you in. His brows are furrowed, just a shaky line above his dark eyes as watches you fidget and begin to grow uncomfortable under the weight of stare. 

This silence is far too heavy of a burden for you to shoulder, so you cut through with a question that seems a bit out of place now. "What are you doing here?" 

Your voice seems to snap him out of whatever trance he was previously in, "I was out on a walk — wandering around, I guess." Rin shuffles even closer and the wind billows, rustling the fabric of his windbreaker. You watch his hair flutter and fall against his forehead.

"I would have thought that you'd be busy all the time, seeing as you're a celebrity now," you say with a soft laugh, twisting the ends of your coat between your fingers while your bag swings gently from side to side in your other hand. 

He doesn't seem to like that, gaze sharpening just a bit as his mouth curves into a frown. You chew on your bottom lip, feeling a bottomless pit open up inside of your stomach at the realisation that it's become so much harder to talk to the boy who used to be your best friend. (To talk to the boy who you used to love — who you are willing to love once again.) 

It's getting colder as the remaining tendrils of sun slowly disappear, hiding away to make room for the moon to shine. You nod at your apartment, "Would you...like to come inside?" You expect him to say no, after all, the two of you are no longer the people you remember each other to be. 

Surprisingly, Rin perks up at your question, firmly nodding once. He follows after you as you walk over to your front door, fishing around the front pocket of your bag for your keys. Rin stands a hair's width away from you, his warm breath fanning over the back of your neck and goosebumps ripple down your arms. 

You watch him study your home, scrutinising your choice of decor — the small pictures framed on the walls, magazines and books strewn about — as he takes off his shoes. He seems to be drawn to the picture resting on one of your shelves: it's of you and him, years ago, standing next to each other with smiles full of missing teeth that look more like grimaces. You were hoping he wouldn't notice that one, one of the only pictures you've kept of and from your childhood, but you can't blame him for it either. Had it been you, that picture would have been the first one you noticed too.

"You kept this?" he's nearly whispering as he gently takes the ageing framed photo in his hands. 

You rest your bag on the floor, "Yeah. Mom gave it to me right before I moved out." He turns back to look at you and his next words are unspoken, but still so loud. 

You hadn't just kept it — you framed it, placed it in your living room for everyone to see. His expression crumbles momentarily, a quiet admission of guilt that settles in the short distance between you. Rin must not have kept much of you with him. He never says it outright, but you know better. Maybe that should leave you feeling bitter but it's somehow exactly what you expected of him. 

Has Itoshi Rin changed at all from the last time you saw him? Do you just know him too well? 

Dusting off your clothes, you take a deep breath, "It's getting late. Want dinner?"

Rin agrees. Like you were expecting him to.

-

You've never liked beer.

But you find yourself peering into a glass full of it as Rin settles in across from you. You're still in your work attire, the waistband of your skirt digging into your stomach after your full meal. Rin's left his windbreaker in a crumpled heap of fabric beside his chair, the tip of his finger drawing lines in the condensation forming on his glass. His nails are well-groomed, cut short and clean. They might be better than yours, but that’s because Rin doesn’t pick at his skin like you do. You stare until you think you shouldn’t anymore. 

He hasn't gotten up to leave. You haven't kicked him out. 

Resting your cheek against your fist, you push yourself forward, closer to him. Your slight movement draws his attention away from the glass, Rin looks up at you as his frown eases up. 

"It's strange seeing you," you admit, more open to honesty thanks to your slight state of inebriation. "Strange seeing you after so many years." 

"You have that picture," he scoffs, jerking his head in the vague direction of the picture of the two of you as kids. 

Scrunching up your nose, you lean back against the chair, "Yeah, but you don't look like that anymore. You're taller and you have too many teeth." You take a sip of your beer, feeling it fizz against your top lip, "And you're probably meaner now." 

He startles, looks offended when he throws back whatever's left in his glass. "I'm not mean." 

You raise a brow, "You were already pretty mean when you left me." You shock yourself at how easily the words slipped past your lips, how little hesitation there was. How you still sounded so hurt over it all despite having spent years convincing yourself that you didn't miss him. The treacherous muscle beating within your ribcage twists and shakes. It only takes a moment for understanding to soften the glare Rin is giving you. Reaching over, you grab the can of beer to refill his glass, cursing under your breath when you realise it's empty. "I'll get some more — just wait."

You dig around in your refrigerator and you can feel Rin watching. "You're bleeding," he says. 

"It's nothing," you wave him off, returning with another cold can. 

He shakes his head, "Do you have bandages?"

And so you find yourself with your chest pressed against the cushions of your couch, ankles hanging off the edge. You spare Rin a glance over your shoulder, awkwardness leaving you silent and rigid. He's kneeling beside you, holding two bandages he insisted he get for you from the years old first aid kit stashed away in your medicine cabinet. 

"You don't have to do this you know," you mumble, pinching at the inside of your cheek with your teeth. "I could have done it myself." 

Rin gently grabs your ankle, his fingers are cold enough to make you jolt. "It's fine," he brushes off your words with nothing more than a grumble. "This could get infected," he adds on as he places the band-aid over the cut. 

His hands are on you, fingers wrapped around your ankle almost completely. He skims them over your skin and you suppress a shiver. You think you should tell him that his hands are pretty — that they have always been pretty — but you bite your tongue. 

Your cuts don't hurt as much as they had earlier, and the blood surrounding them has dried down. You're sure nothing would have come of it being left uncovered, but Rin seems adamant on doing this simple task for you. You wonder if part of it has anything to do with being labelled as "mean." 

He shuffles over to your other ankle, jeans brushing against your rug, as does the same thing. It's been too long since you've been taken care of like this — the feeling has become wholly foreign and you struggle to sit still while Rin smooths out the band-aid over your skin. When he stands up, you twist around and slouch your back against the couch, facing him. 

Rin looms over you. He brushes some hair out of his eyes and sits down next to you. "I'm on a break — I'll be around a lot more."

You glance at him from the corner of your eye, "Around to see me?" 

And perhaps, you're imagining it, the way he moves closer so that his thigh is pushed up against it. Perhaps, you're imagining how he's leaned into you. Rin's temple makes contact with your shoulder and you exhale. 

"Yes," he whispers, looking up at you through his lashes." To see you." You can recognise the guilt swimming in his gaze, leftover from earlier in the evening.

You wish he would just say it — say sorry — but your heart yearns for him regardless of what he's said and what he should have said. It's ridiculous; it was years ago and you should have moved on. (And you know that the only reason it hurt as badly as it did was the fact that you had loved him twice as much when things soured.) You're motivated by the ache you've grown accustomed to when you bring your hand to his hair, digging your fingers in, scratching at his scalp. Much like a cat, Rin goes limp against you and you trace the side of his face with the pad of your thumb. 

You try to hide your other hand, feeling somewhat self-conscious about the way you’ve torn it up. Rin reaches for it without a second thought, lacing his fingers together with your own, oblivious to all the rough parts you’ve left behind with your habit. 

"What if I don't want to see you?" you question. You don't really mean it — you hope he knows. 

You can feel his breath, feel the rise and fall of his chest as he speaks, "I would wait until you said you wanted to." 

"Even if that took years?" You pause your movements, hand still in his hair. Rin draws a gasp out from you when he presses a fluttering kiss against your wrist — a nervous kiss, one that tests the waters. 

"Even then," he says. 

You don't know who leans in first, you want to say it's Rin but you, with your years of yearning, are not to be trusted either. His cold palms cup your face, lips parting against your own, his tongue meeting yours. He kisses you hungrily, eagerly, desperate to make up for years of lost time and memories that were meant to be shared by two but left to be held by just one instead. It almost hurts — when his teeth sink into your lip and you whimper, Rin snaps his eyes open. He licks over where he bit, fingers digging into your cheeks. 

You like the feeling of his hands on you. You want them everywhere, you decide. Rin tugs at your collar, unbuttons your shirt quickly, his hands splayed out over your sides and just grazing your bra. It's only then that you pull away, chest heaving as you stare up at him.

"Will you discard me again?" Your voice sounds almost meek in a way; you're afraid of what he might say and of what you might see. Too scared to see him hesitate, too scared to meet his eyes and not see yourself reflected in them.

But Rin's answer is instantaneous. His gaze has darkened some, lust-blown and riddled with the yearning that's been growing in your chest for years. His palm encircles your wrist, the other wraps around your waist chasing purchase. "Never," he says with a kind of conviction that leaves butterflies erupting at your fingertips. 

While his hand travels up your back, he kisses you again and this time it feels different. He moves up your wrist, intertwining your fingers once more. You know you have him in all the ways that he has you.