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havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years ago

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Chapter Four.

a/n: this was one of my fav chapters to write, so hope you all enjoy! I think you’re all gonna like this one hehe :’) pls reblog to share and leave feedback as it continues to motivate me <3

SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 10.1k

come talk to me about WTSGD! i’d love to know your thoughts!

October 31, 2017

A lot had happened in the last five months that felt like an eternity.

After Luci’s very first performance for Miss Saigon and her unfortunate breakdown that was caused by one of the biggest critics of Broadway, practically insulting her, she performed almost every night after that.

When one bad review on her performance was ratified by hundreds of tweets and reviews, saying that Luci’s performance was one of the best they’d ever seen, she’d say she did her damn job. The night of her breakdown, she received a text from Nina, who sent her a link to a few reviews on her Broadway debut. Those articles directly addressed how unprofessional and poorly written Adam West’s review was, and that he needed to open his eyes to observe and admire brilliant, wonderful, and beautifully performed talent. On top of the important names next to Adam West, theatre-Twitter seemed to agree with the positive articles that were written about her, tweeting that Luci was the next face of Broadway; and who cared if she started her career in commercials and Off-Broadway because getting the role in Miss Saigon had proved that she worked her way up and that she was good.

After reading the articles and tweets, her mood had drastically shifted. She was so overwhelmed by the positive comments that defended her from a misogynistic man that she cried again, but it was tears of happiness this time around. She walked out of her apartment, headed to Harry’s door to show him the uplifting reviews, and he was happy to see that she was ecstatic—he was happy for her.

They had definitely become closer since that day.

Harry and Luci hung out a lot. Whenever they had the chance and they both weren’t busy, they would knock on each other’s doors or text one another, asking to hang out. For the most part, he opened up to her, showcasing his true personality and becoming more comfortable around Luci—enough to joke around and be himself. He loved the way he didn’t feel like he had to be someone he’s not; everything felt true and real.

It was refreshing for Harry to have a real friend, a best friend, other than Jeff and Mitch. Although he developed a small crush on said friend, it was nice to just have a chat and walk around the neighborhood with her. He’d been talking himself up to ask her out, not knowing if she’ll say yes or if she even feels that way about him; but from what he could tell, he thinks that she’s sort of infatuated with him. Luci would flirt with him from time to time, and would tell him that he’s adorable and sweet, making Harry’s cheeks redden from the sweet talk.

Luci’s situation with Daisy and Samuel never got better. Ever since she started to perform more and more—sometimes even more than Daisy—they would be nothing but rude to her. They weren’t used to someone taking their spotlight; it was like someone stepping right in front of them on center stage to steal the show—especially if it was someone they despised and was new to Broadway. The two tried to take it up with Tal, demanding and arguing about how they deserved to perform every single night, but Tal kept her word to Luci and the rest of the industry: that she would stand up for her cast and run the show herself.

Throughout the months, Luci had been talking with Harry about something very, very important. It was a few weeks ago, during their walk to a bagel place in the morning, when she first brought it up.

“Remember that lady who came up to me after the show?” She asked as they walked along the sidewalk. Harry nodded, letting out a ‘mhm.’ “So, she’s a talent agent…” Harry raised his brows, thinking she was an agent for Broadway. “In Hollywood.” Samantha Stone was one of Hollywood’s greatest and biggest agents; she mostly worked with actors who were first starting out in the industry before making them successful. Samantha was always on the hunt for new and fresh talent; she walked the streets with an eye like a hawk.

In early September, Samantha was in New York for a small getaway, as well as to meet one of her side pieces in the city. She figured she could watch a show or two since she was already in the city, and it’d been ages since she'd seen a Broadway show. Deciding on Miss Saigon because she saw the tweets and reviews of Luciana, she decided to give it a shot and see what her hype was about. And it did not disappoint. She was so intrigued and invested in the story, and was absolutely blown away by Luciana’s performance. Naturally, even though she shouldn’t be working, she waited until the cast was coming out of the theatre to approach her.

Luci was in complete shock because she’d never had anyone walk up to her, telling her to give her a call because she was a talent agent and hoped to work with her soon. When Luci got back home, she looked up Samantha Stone and her breath hitched as she found out who she had worked with and what she did for a living.

“Holy shit!” Harry completely stopped walking, making Luci stop as well. They stood on the side of the sidewalk as people passed by them. Harry beamed excitedly, but soon his smile softened, noticing Luci’s didn’t match his. “What’s the matter? Why aren’t you excited?”

“I-I don’t know. I just get nervous thinking about it, like she wants to work with me.” Luci fiddled with her fingers.

“Isn’t that great?” Harry asked softly; he didn’t see what was wrong with that, but he was being patient with Luci to try and understand what she was feeling and thinking about.

She nodded. “It is. I’m just nervous; I hate disappointing people. What if I call her and I do an audition or whatever, and she realizes that I’m not meant for the job? She’s the biggest agent in Hollywood, Harry. That would mean I’m not meant for any job,” she explained worriedly, anxiety bubbling up in her stomach as if it’d been simmering for hours on the stove.

Harry slightly frowned. He couldn’t imagine how it must feel to doubt one’s own talents, and he absolutely hated that Luci was doing it.

“Luciana, listen to me.” Well, that definitely caught her attention. “You’re remarkably talented, end of. If you end up being dropped by that agent, then fuck her. She shouldn’t be a talent agent if she can’t see clear talent right in front of her. Literally everyone in the same room knows you are so incredibly gifted. Plus, wouldn’t you like to try it out? It doesn’t hurt to try because you have nothing to lose. You’ll still be on Broadway; and then you’ll try again later if right now is not your time.”

Smiling, she appreciated his words. She nodded, knowing he was completely right. “Okay, I’ll give it a shot.” Her response seemed to satisfy Harry. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I’ll always be here for you.” She smiled. “Still gonna help me grade papers?”

She chuckled as they started walking on the pavement again. “Yup. Believe it or not, it’s actually fun grading papers.”

He turned to her shockingly. “Oh, really? Then maybe you could be my TA and I’ll have you grade all the papers.” Luci laughed, saying that she didn’t mind; she adored moments when they were playful. Their friendship was refreshing to the both of them.

A week after her conversation with Harry, where he reassured and encouraged her, she called Samantha, who was delighted to hear from Luci. Samantha asked if she wanted to meet for lunch; Luci was hesitant, but she remembered Harry’s words, and it really didn’t hurt to try, so she agreed and they met in Midtown at a Thai restaurant.

It was a casual luncheon where Samantha got to know Luci before she decided if she wanted to sign her or not. Luci completely rocked her socks; she was funny, kind, and very humble—traits that not a lot of stars had. So, Samantha immediately thought she was perfect and very likeable. After thirty minutes of eating and chatting, Samantha pulled out her business side, along with a contract, and discussed what this could mean for Luci. She went over her contract very quickly, and Luci knew she couldn’t keep up so she pretended to listen, nodding and letting out a ‘mhm’ to be interactive.

Samantha had a pen ready for her to sign, but if Luci knew anything, it was to not sign contracts right then and there, and to go over the contract in further details on her own. So, Luci told her that she would look over the stack of papers once more before she got back to her potential agent.

Luci wished she took a business class to understand such things about contracts and how to handle things herself, but she thinks that she might enroll in some classes some time soon. She attended Boston University and graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Performing Arts in Theatre Arts. On top of auditioning, solo acts, musical pieces, and countless shows for the four years she was there, she maintained a 3.5 GPA in her general education, and that’s something she’s incredibly proud of herself for. There were a few classes during her freshman year that she failed, making her consider dropping out, but she picked herself back up and promised herself to work harder, and she did.

When she got back home, she tossed the contract on her coffee table as she sighed, grabbing a glass of water. She had felt stressed out about the situation, but then she remembered that Harry’s sister, Gemma, was a lawyer in London. So, she sent Harry a quick text, telling him about her situation, and asked if Gemma was able to help out. Harry was on his lunch when she texted, but he quickly asked Gemma and she was quick to comply, anything to help her brother’s friend.

The day after, Harry and Luci both sat down on his couch, FaceTiming Gemma on his laptop; it was the very first time his sister and Luci were meeting each other. Harry warned Luci that Gemma was a bit tough with his new friends, but once the two women chatted for a few minutes, Gemma was smittened with her; Harry was shocked at how quick they seemed to become friends, but he cherished it because he liked Luci…a lot.

Luci had sent over a scanned version of the contract, so they went over it together with Harry sitting next to her for moral support; and from what Gemma said, the contract was clean. The most important thing that Gemma was looking for was that Luci had a say to back out of the contract, and it stated that clearly. Gemma told her that she could sign the contract if she wanted, and that eased Luci’s anxieties, making her thank Gemma almost a million times for her help.

The next day, Luci met up with Samantha for brunch with the signed contract in her hand. Samantha was delighted to see that it was inked with her signature; she told Luci that this won’t be the only thing she was going to sign because so many people are going to want her autograph. That made Luci smile, giggling a tad bit at the thought of it.

By the beginning of October, Samantha called Luci and informed her that she was booked for an audition for a supporting character in Ocean’s Eight that was to be released late next year. Luci was surprised at how quickly Samantha was able to get her an audition, but they didn’t call her the best for nothing.

With only two weeks to prepare, Luci put her time and effort into rehearsing the few pages of the script Samantha had sent her. Luci didn’t have a talent coach whatsoever, so she tried her best to see every aspect of her acting, jotting down notes on the margins so she could further better herself. She was hiding her stress and nerves quite well as she tried not to freak out about how insane this opportunity was to even audition.

When her audition was only two days away, she called Ren for the traditional pep-talk that inspired and motivated her to do better and to try her best because that was all that she could do. She wished that her family was physically next to her so she could feel the comfort and warmth that they provide because after all, they are home and always will be.

Luckily, some producers were in New York holding auditions, so she didn’t have to fly to California for a day or two. She’d never felt more intimidated and nervous than the moment she stepped inside the medium-sized room that was painted in a light gray tone. A long foldable table was in the middle of the room with a small camcorder on a tripod next to it. Luci’s had many auditions, but this…this was real shit, the real deal. She was standing in front of Hollywood and big name producers who’d never heard of her name until the moment she walked in and they had a glimpse of her portfolio.

She introduced herself, masking the nerves that were crawling up and down her body with a warm smile—not too bright, but enough to show her gorgeous grin. They asked her to read off of page twenty-three to twenty-five; taking a breath, she gave all that she could. And in her opinion, it’s the best acting she’d ever done, which is saying a lot because she thinks she did quite well after every show of Miss Saigon.

The producers’ faces were unreadable as they simply looked at one another, writing a few notes on their yellow notepads. Luci wanted to lurk, to see what they were writing as she hoped they weren’t disappointed or had immediately crossed out her name from their list.

They thanked her for coming in before dismissing her; she thanked them as well, waving as she walked out the door where she released the biggest sigh. It wasn’t from relief because she was still on edge of the result of her audition, but she felt like she had been holding her breath for the ten to fifteen minutes that she was in that room. Her heart was pounding quite sturdily; and if she was being honest, her mind had completely blanked out once they yelled ‘action,’ but that was usual for her.

Now that it was ten days after her audition and Halloween, Harry practically begged Luci to get out of her apartment. She knew that she couldn’t stay cooped up in her room as she overthought the audition constantly. She began to get headaches from overthinking every single thing she did in that audition, and it drove her insane.

So, when Harry suggested that she should go to the Halloween party that Daisy was throwing on the rooftop of her building, she dreaded it at first, but the thought of going out was calling her. She assumed Daisy wouldn’t want Luci to be at her party, but she invited the entire cast and a few more people that she knew personally, so it wasn’t like Daisy was going to speak to her. Since it was a party, everyone could bring a guest or a few friends, so that was when Luci begged Harry to attend with her.

“Please, come with me.” She had her best pouty lip on, looking at him with doe eyes. Just by that look, he almost gave in, but he wasn’t sure if this type of party was for him. Harry was a mellow and chill guy; he didn’t need rooftop parties and unlimited amounts of booze. He was fine with a small gathering, a few movies and board games—now, that was his type of party. “The party would be so much more fun with you there.”

Harry playfully scoffed. “Please. Luci, I’m the most boring guy there is.”

Her brows furrowed in disagreement. “No, you’re not. I happen to think you’re quite fun.” He smiled softly at her in appreciation. “Please. We wouldn’t even have to stay that long.”

He could tell that she wanted, no, needed him to be there with her. She wasn’t very close with her cast mates—despite all the months she’d been part of the production—besides Nina. But Nina knew everyone so Luci would be left awkwardly standing there, waiting for her friend to come back.

“How long would we stay?”

Her eyes brightened with hope. “However long you want.”

“An hour? Hour and a half, tops?”

“Sounds perfectly fine to me.”

“And what would we wear?”

Luci was a bit shocked by his question. “You wanna match?”

“I mean, that would be fun, right?” She nodded, agreeing. “Since it is quite last minute, I say we dress up as the 70s or 80s era. Pretty easy, right?”

She liked the sound of that. “Yes, let’s do 70s! I wanna raid your closet because I know you have some gems in there.”

Harry laughed out loud—her favorite laugh that was music to her ears. He knew he had a great sense of fashion, and he’d always go to the thrift store to pick up something that he’d never worn before. It wasn’t like he was not going to wear it, he just needed to be more comfortable with himself to wear the clothes that he buys. So, for now, he settled with black skinny jeans and patterned-print button downs, which is the most ‘flashy’ he’d dress as…for now.

“I knew I liked you for a reason because I was hoping you’d say 70s.” Luci felt her cheeks warm up before they went to Harry’s apartment.

It took an hour and a half to find an outfit that Harry liked; it would’ve been shorter, but with Harry’s 70s playlist that was playing in the background, they took breaks to dance and sing. Harry had a beautiful voice, Luci thought; and she wondered if he was ever in a band before or wrote music because he does have an elaborate music taste, and that added to Luci’s liking for him.

They proceeded to go to Luci’s apartment so Harry could help her find an outfit. He brought his wireless speaker so the music wouldn’t stop; and she continuously threw the articles of clothing onto her bed—where Harry was lying on his stomach—every time he shook his head no.

With the same amount of time it took Harry to decide on an outfit, Luci settled on hers. She looked in her full-body mirror, twirling around to see if it looked okay and if she was satisfied with it. Harry remained on her bed, admiring how beautiful she looked as he thought that she was way out of his league. As Luci was dancing and prancing around her apartment, Harry was deep in his thoughts; he didn’t know if asking Luci out was the way to go. Not only would he lose her as a friend when or if she rejects him, but he couldn’t bear the ache he would feel in his heart.

For his own sake, he needed to protect himself before the heartbreak; and if that meant refraining himself from making a move, then that was completely fine to him.

“Ready?” Luci called out from the doorway. Harry got off the bed, looking her up and down.

She was wearing peach colored pants that flare at the bottom, sitting high on her waist; a white silk blouse with orange accents, a long brown coat because it was quite chilly outside, and pink glasses that were transparent. He thought she looked absolutely beautiful, and her outfit was meant for her. The colors matched Harry’s outfit as he wore rust-orange pants that sat wide at the bottom, a flashy patterned long-sleeved blouse with the collar matching his pants. Luci gave him a similar pair of glasses as hers, so they weren’t wearing shaded lenses in the nighttime.

“Yup. You, uh, look really good.”

Luci smiled, shrugging one shoulder. “Thank you! You look good, too. This color looks amazing on you.”

Harry looked down at his outfit, hiding the blush that formed on his cheeks. “Thank you. I like it a lot.”

They headed out and towards Daisy’s apartment building where the rooftop was large enough for everyone to stand comfortably without feeling like they were shoulder-to-shoulder. There were plenty of lounge chairs, and a few tall bar tables next to tall heaters, considering it was just below fifty degrees.

Some people were making their way towards Daisy's apartment since it was too cold outside, but Harry and Luci decided to stay, both agreeing that the heaters were keeping them warm as they sipped on their drinks.

“Luci!” Nina walked over towards her, giving her a hug; Luci made sure not to mess up the placement of her fairy wings.

“You look amazing!” Luci complimented as Nina put her hands on her cheeks, thanking her friend. Luci could tell that Nina was a bit drunk already as her eyes were drooping and she couldn’t stand straight on her own two feet.

“Harry! I’m so glad you’re here.” He smiled saying hello to her. Nina and Harry met in July when he had gone to see another show. He was giving Luci another bouquet of flowers—the same bundle that he gave her the last time since she told him that she really liked them, and they looked amazing on her windowsill—and she dragged him to find Nina since she was performing the same show. Nina immediately gave Luci that certain look that said ‘he’s really cute,’ and Luci just nodded, giving her an apparent look as well.

“Did you bring anyone?” Luci asked, knowing that she was talking to a few guys; her favorites, from what Nina told her, was Laurent and Alec—the two guys that are in her Soul Cycle class, one on Monday and the other on Friday.

Nina shook her head. “No. I wanted to get fucked up today and didn’t want any of my mans see that shit. Oh! Can I take a picture of you two? You both look so cute!”

Luci looked at Harry, silently asking and he nodded. She stood beside him, not knowing whether to put her arm around his waist. They’d never taken a picture together before, after all the months of knowing each other. Luci handed Nina her phone before she turned on the flash, taking a picture of the two. Harry hesitantly puts his arm around Luci’s shoulder, making her look at him, smiling. She then wrapped her arm around his waist as they both smiled at each other before looking back at the camera. Nina was squealing behind the phone because she just captured the cute and quiet interaction between them that made for a sweet candid.

Nina handed Luci’s phone back to her before she told her that she was going to talk to some other people. The two women hugged, and Nina said goodbye to Harry.

Harry leaned into Luci’s side, bending down slightly. “Send me those pictures, yeah?”

A chill ran through her body at the sound of his voice so close to her ear. “Sure,” she croaked out, sending the pictures to him.

After a few moments of light conversation and humming the beat of the music, Harry asked, “So, which one is Daisy?”

Luci looked at him, quite shocked as to what sparked his interest in her, but she didn’t say anything. She looked around until she spotted her in a leather catwoman suit, hugging her body tightly that Luci thought it was cutting off her circulation. But she had to admit that it looked amazing on her.

“That one.” She slyly pointed at Daisy who was talking to some of her friends. Luci was surprised to see that Samuel wasn’t here, considering that he was part of the cast. Daisy and Samuel seemed to be in their ‘off again’ stage of their relationship; and no one who was part of the cast or who was close to them could keep up with how many times they’d been through that stage, but they seemed to like each other too much to call it quits for good.

“Hmm. She seems nice.”

“Yeah, she does—to everyone except me.” They were both looking at Daisy, and it was like Daisy could sense a few eyes on her, so she looked around and made direct eye contact with Luci. She excused herself to her group of friends before making her way towards her and Harry. “Speak of the devil.” Luci sighed, making Harry chuckle.

“Luci! I’m so glad you made it.” Daisy faked a smile as she greeted Luci with a hug, which surprised both Luci and Harry. Daisy pulled away, immediately locking eyes on this. “Oh, who’s your friend?” Instantly, Luci knew why Daisy was so nice to her; it was because she spotted Harry and didn’t want him to think she was such a bitch.

With her brows furrowed, Luci shifted a little closer to Harry who was standing there and not saying anything. “This is Harry.”

Daisy flashed him her stunning smile that wooed almost everyone. “Hi, I’m Daisy.” He shook her hand, introducing himself. “Your outfit looks really good.” She complimented him.

“Thanks, Luci helped me pick it out.” He smiled at Luci, who was smirking. For a second, Daisy rolled her eyes before she returned to her big smile.

“Would you like to get a drink with me? I see you’re almost empty.” Daisy’s eyes pointed at his cup, which only had a small sip lingering at the bottom of his clear plastic cup.

“Uh-”

“C’mon, just one drink?” Her voice was innocent and sweet, nothing like the cruel and rude Daisy that Luci knew all too well.

What Luci expected Harry to say was that he was okay and that he didn’t want a drink with her, but he responded quite the opposite.

“Okay, sure.” Luci’s head averted towards Harry as she looked at him with shock and a face asking what the fuck he was doing. But he shrugged as Daisy clapped, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards the bar. Luci huffed, watching the two walk away and she was left by herself with a watered down drink and the cold air.

She figured she’d wait for him to come back to where she was sitting, hoping he wouldn’t take too long.

But twenty minutes had gone by, and Luci started getting annoyed.

Thirty minutes, and Luci tells herself that she doesn’t care and mindlessly goes on her phone.

An hour had gone by when Luci huffed, mentally saying that she does give a shit and goes to find Harry.

How long could one drink take anyways? Definitely not an hour, Luci thought. She searched the rooftop for the two, only to hope that Harry was looking for her too. After ten minutes of looking around the rooftop, passing her cast mates who were asking her to take a shot with them—she took another one, adding more alcohol into her body—she couldn’t find Harry. She started to think the worst; he could’ve possibly taken Daisy home, or Daisy could have taken him up to her room—either way, she didn’t like any of those options.

For a minute, she mentally debated if she should check Daisy’s apartment, which would be better since it was warmer indoors than it was out—she was convinced it got colder once Harry left her side—but the negative side of her mind, who was taunting her like the devil on her left shoulder, told her to check if Harry was inside because she wasn’t going to like what she was going to see.

Either way, she needed to find Harry and she didn’t want to go home without him, so she went inside the building and took the elevator down to Daisy’s floor. There were people walking in and out of her place, so it wasn’t that difficult to find which one was hers. With the same amount of people inside her apartment as there was on the rooftop, Luci made her way through the nice and luxurious apartment. She was just on the edge of tipsy; the drinks with her coworkers had gotten her there. Heading up the stairs, she passed by people who were making out, cuddling on the steps, and talking.

Once she got to the end of the hallway, she had almost given up on her search for Harry until the door at the end of the hall opened, revealing Harry who was leaving and quietly closing the door.

Luci stood in the middle with an expressionless face. He hadn’t seen her yet, but the way she wasn’t giving any emotion didn’t mean that she didn’t care; the thoughts in her mind were invading every inch that there was just too much to focus on.

Harry turned around, stopping in his tracks once he faced her.

“Hey,” he greeted softly.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry for leaving-”

“Were you…” Luci referred to what was happening inside the room as she couldn’t finish her sentence because the thought and the words simply disgusted her.

“N-No.”

“Why do you seem unsure?” She was testing him; she heard the hesitancy in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell the truth.

A new attitude rose him. “Why do you care?” His voice was a tad bit harsher, but he was a little confused on why she was questioning his actions.

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, crossing her arms, avoiding his question. “I’m going home. Are you coming with or…?” Harry bit the inside of his cheek, remembering that she hadn’t answered his question, so he’ll ask again later. He nodded, and Luci turned around; he followed.

The entire ride on the subway and walking towards their apartment building was quiet. They didn’t even sit next to each other like they always did; just across one another, avoiding eye contact.

It was when they were both in front and unlocking their doors was when Harry spoke up.

“Luci.” She stopped her movements, turning around slowly as did he. This time, she looked at him so deeply in the eyes that it was physically difficult for her to take her eyes off him. “Why were you mad at me before we left?”

On the ride back home, Harry thought about the events at the party. He’d never seen Luci so annoyed at him before, so it got him thinking a lot about what she felt for him. She was jealous, anyone could see that, and he wanted her to say it out loud why she was jealous because he could name a few reasons.

“Did you have a good time with Daisy?”

Harry breathed out a chuckle. “You’re jealous,” he stated immediately.

“Answer my question-”

“Then answer mine.”

The tension was so thick that with just one small poke of a needle, it would collapse and break. They’d never had this type of conversation before, where the tension was rising and the room felt warm; they were always playful and laughing with each other that neither of them thought they were capable of having this certain type of energy with one another.

“I was mad because you left me alone at the party…with Daisy of all people,” she said honestly, leaving a few things out.

“Is that all?” He raised his brows, crossing his arms.

Luci shook her head. “That’s not how it works, Styles. I answer yours, you answer mine.”

A smug grin landed on Harry’s face. “Did I have a good time with Daisy?” He repeated her question. “To be honest with you, no. She was pretty drunk, so I took her to her bedroom—that’s why I was in there, She was…nice.” Luci sensed a ‘but’ trailing. “She even asked me if I’d wanna go out some time.”

“What’d you say?”

He tsked. “Not how it works, Suki.” Luci rolled her eyes, letting out a soft huff. “Hey, they’re your rules.” He chuckled. “Now, answer this: why were you jealous?”

There was a surge of confidence that Harry’s never felt before; maybe it was because he knew things Luci didn’t know herself, but watching her unfold those realizations was definitely feeding his ego.

Luci sighed deeply before she started. “Knowing that Daisy could possibly get anyone she wanted was a bit of an insecurity of mine when we were on our way to the party. That was because I knew she’d want you. I mean…look at you, you’re literally so gorgeous.” Harry blushed. “And I knew that it was inevitable that she would ask you to hang out; I was just surprised when you said yes.”

He nodded. “I rejected her when she asked if I wanted to go out.” A bit of weight lifted from Luci’s shoulders, but not completely as there was still something heavy she’s been wanting to say. “Why’d you hope I’d say no? Besides the obvious that she’s mean and rude to you.”

Alright, time to fess up, Luci.

Luci inhaled deeply, hoping her confession wouldn’t have him running for the hills. “Because why would you go out with her when you could go out with me? Like, on a date…” Her anxiety was up to her chin as she locked her hands behind her back, preventing them from shaking any more than they already were.

That one simple question had answered all of the other questions swirling in his mind; not the ones that were asked in the rapid fire round of questioning and answering under the thick cloud of tension over them, but the ones he asked himself a few months ago when he was doubting that she’d ever felt something for him because all this time, she had felt something, and she just asked him out.

His heart flipped. “You wanna go on a date with me?”

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to ask, but I didn’t know if you were interested in me or not,” she said shyly. Luci hadn’t asked someone out before—someone she was really interested in. She’d either wait until they asked her and if they didn’t, she’d move on and pretend that her feelings for them never existed. But Harry was different; seeing him with Daisy tonight had made her realize just how much she felt for him. He made her laugh, smile, and he was such a kind person.

“I’d love to.” He suddenly answered, taking her back a little.

She looked at him with wide eyes. “R-Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask you too, because I’m very much interested in you, but I didn’t know you were interested, well, until tonight.” Luci giggled.

“I made it pretty obvious that I was jealous, huh?”

“A tad bit, but it’s sweet; and I wasn’t gonna go on a date with Daisy. She’s no Luciana Ivy Suki.” He teased, making her face heat up at the sound of her full name coming from his lips. She wanted to kiss him right then and then, wanted to taste the sweet taste that he was storing in his mouth; but she refrained from doing so, figuring that they’d wait until after their date—whenever that was—to wait to kiss him because it would very much be worth the wait.

“Okay, I’ll, uh, plan the date then.” Her lips turned up, feeling a certain ache on her cheeks already from smiling too much.

“Can I plan it too?” He genuinely asked.

“I did ask you, Harry.” She raised her brows teasingly.

“Alright, alright. I’ll plan the next date then.” He blushed.

Luci tilted her head, smiling sweetly at his words. “The next date, huh? We haven’t even been on the first date; what makes you think there’ll be a second one.”

“Oh, love, I think there will be.” Harry stepped closer to her, heart pounding in his chest; Luci gulped at the closeness. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her by the way he was looking at her intently. And for a moment, she was gonna give in and say ‘fuck waiting,’ and kiss his pink lips until he leaned forward and kissed her soft cheek for a brief moment. “Can’t wait for our date. Let me know what the plans are.”

“O-Okay.” The touch of his lips on her skin had stunned her, and she wanted them back on her instantly.

Harry opened his door, giving Luci a small smile before walking in. She started to slowly back into her open apartment, holding onto the door handle tightly. Before they closed their doors, they stared at one another, admiring each other before they said:

“Sweet dreams, Luciana.”

“Sweet dreams, Harry.”

November 8, 2017

Harry strongly knocked three times on the door right across from his own door with a bag full of takeout, another bag full of snacks, and a small brown bag that had a white box inside.

The door swung open; Luci smiled at the person behind it.

“Happy Birthday, love!” Harry greeted.

“Aww, Harry, thank you so much.” She was surprised that he remembered, let alone bring a celebration to her as she eyed the bags in his hands. Luci turned twenty-six today; her day was full of greetings from her cast mates, her family, and FaceTime calls from her brother and parents. She was going to make a trip back home for a day or two since she had to perform on Friday, but she was going to see her parents during Thanksgiving, so FaceTime calls had to suffice till then.

Stepping to the side, she invited him in. He hugged her tightly, kissing the side of her head as her face heated up. They walked to the kitchen, and Harry set the bags on the countertop, unraveling the tie of the takeout.

“First, I’m sorry for just showing up unannounced and invading your place.” He added a breathy laugh.

“No, it’s okay! You’re welcomed any time,” she genuinely said; Harry made a mental note of that.

“Second, this is not a date. I know you didn’t want today to be our first date, but I couldn’t just sit in my apartment and not do anything on your special day! So, here I am.”

“Here you are.” Luci couldn’t help the warmth that rushed to her face and neck.

“Third, I brought Chinese since it’s your favorite food. And I just so happen to know a lovely place that has the best Chinese in Brooklyn, which is my favorite place that I’ll take you to soon, but know that you’re so incredibly special because I never take anyone there.” He took the takeaway boxes out of the bag, opening them up as steam released from the boxes.

Luci leaned against the countertop. “And what makes me so special?” Teasingly fluttering her eyes.

Harry stopped what he was doing, looking at her intently. “You’re so sweet, funny, and incredibly kind. But most importantly, you’re grounded and humble; and you’re special to me.” His dimpled poked through his skin as he smiled, meaning every word.

Heart flipping, stomach in knots, and tears washing over her eyes, Luci walked around the counter to hug him, head resting against his chest as she whispered a ‘thank you’ in his ear.

For the rest of their night, they ate the authentic Chinese food while Harry told her about the restaurant he got it from, including the workers who owned the place. They also talked about work, teased, flirted, and bantered about whether fruit belonged in salads—they do not.

Harry gave her the brown paper bag that held her gift, and she opened it with shock. He gifted her a gold circle pin that was customized with her initials engraved in the middle, and the saying ‘Shine bright, Dream even bigger,’ separated at the top and bottom. He’d noticed that she had pins on her travel backpack, and would occasionally wear one on the side of her baseball cap. It was the most thoughtful and attentive gift she’d ever received, and that earned Harry a tight hug and many thank you’s.

After the night was coming close to eleven-thirty, Harry called it a night as he still had to wake up early tomorrow for work. Their goodbye at her door was a long one that was filled with tight and long hugs as they swayed for a moment, enjoying the warmth of each other. They promised each other that they would find a day that was open in their schedule so they could finally have their date; they even pinky swore on it—Harry kissed her pinky, vowing.

Luci watched Harry open his door before walking inside his apartment; she blew him a kiss as he caught it, placing his palm on his cheek, making her smile.

As they closed their doors, Luci couldn’t help but think that she just had the best birthday ever.

November 17, 2017

Luci’s leg nervously shook as she waited for her digital clock to hit 2:30 p.m.

Today was Luci and Harry’s first date, and will hopefully be written down in history. She’d been anticipating this day for a while now, and she couldn’t believe the day was finally here. The few days after she asked him out, they tried settling on a date, but the two weeks after Halloween were booked for them.

Luci was performing most days out of the week and Harry needed to figure out his teaching plans since it was close to Thanksgiving break and winter break. But when Harry found out that he had a random Friday off, he immediately told her, and to their luck, Luci wasn’t performing that day. So, they were settled on a day, and Luci couldn’t wait to take him out.

She told him that he was going to need to dress warm since they were going to be outside for most of the day, so he opted for light blue jeans that were a bit baggy, a white t-shirt, a black coat that had faux fur on the thick collar and cuffs; since he, assumingly, was going to be walking around a lot, he wore black old school vans. Harry looked in the mirror, ruffling his hair in his hands to get it to stick the way he wanted it to. His hands slightly shook as he was fixing his hair, and he realized he hadn’t felt this nervous in a while; it had been a while since he’d gone on a date with someone he truly liked.

When it hit two-thirty, Harry opened his door and locked it before taking a step forward. He took a breath, shaking his nerves off; as he was just about to knock, he heard Luci shuffling around inside her apartment as her keys jingled in her hands and her boots thudded against the wood. He put his hand down, thinking it would be nice for her to just see him right when she opened the door. After a few moments, Luci felt like she had everything she needed, so she swung her door open to only find Harry standing right in front of it, hiding behind a familiar bouquet of flowers—her favorite ones from him.

“Hello.” He smiled, dimples clearly present. Luci felt like she could cry on the spot from just being so overwhelmed with her nerves and the anticipation leading up to this day, this moment. “These are for you. Hope you never get tired of them.” Harry handed her the bouquet, and she hugged them to her chest.

“Harry, thank you. Believe me, I would never.” The start of her cheek aches had begun, and it had been about thirty seconds into their date. But cheek aches with Harry were her favorite type of aches, so she didn’t really mind it.

She went back inside her apartment as Harry followed her in; she put the flowers in a vase before fixing them a little, making sure none of them were drooping down on the edge of the glass vase. Placing them on her windowsill, where she usually puts the flowers Harry gifted her, she smiled gratefully at them before turning her head and smiling at Harry, extra grateful.

“Shall we go?” He asked, and she nodded.

Harry followed Luci down to the subway station as she got on the M train. In eleven minutes, there were four stops; the subway was quite packed with no available seats, so the two stood, holding onto the silver bar in between them with their bodies close in proximity as they stood. Harry took the chance to look down at her, simply admiring her beauty as she mindlessly looked around, not noticing his eyes lingering on her.

When their stop was on Essex Street, they got off, transferring onto the F train towards Coney Island; and Harry suddenly knew exactly where they were going. He didn’t say anything but smile. The entirety of the ride took forty-two minutes with twenty-two stops; they were able to sit down next to each other after the first stop.

Their bodies were close—thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder. Luci took out her wired earphones—figuring they were going to be there for a while, why not listen to some music—handing Harry the left one as she put the right one in. She played Fleetwood Mac, Tame Impala, ABBA, Lorde, and Hozier—a few artists they’d bonded over—as they both swayed in their seats, making up some dance routine with their arms and shoulders. They laughed and ignored the weird looks of bystanders, who were trying to have a peaceful train ride to their destination, but Luci and Harry were too focused on each other to care.

Once it was their stop, Luci put her headphones and phone in her purse before they got off and walked side by side one another. Harry had the urge to pull her close to his side, to hold her soft hand, but he was too shy to make a move. When they walked up the stairs to exit the station, their fingers brushed together—practically bumping into one another. Luci confidently made the move and linked their fingers together; Harry looked down and back up at her as he blushed, squeezing her hand lightly.

“Is this okay?” She asked, looking up at him.

“It’s perfect.” He meant it; the way her small hands fit so perfectly into his, as if he was protecting them. Holding her hand was comforting, and it surprised him at how comfortable he was to be making physical contact with her; but ever since he met Luci, he’s surprised himself quite a few times already.

They finally reached their first date hotspot, and Harry assumed right as to where she was taking him.

Three wide entryways painted in navy blue and orange had ‘Luna Park’ painted in orange at the top. Above the entryways were large flower-like and crescent moons that lit up during the nighttime, giving the boardwalk the most illuminating glow. The large Ferris wheel could not be missed as the carts swung and rattled back and forth. On top of the excitement of the amusement park, there were screams from people who were on the roller coasters, and the smell of fair food that they couldn’t wait to devour.

Luci paid for their entrance admission, and Harry frowned, wanting to pay, but they both agreed that they could go half on the food, and games and rides.

They felt like little kids who were at Disneyland, minus the famous castle and Main Street music, as they walked around the park to check it out as the wood beneath them creaked with every step while they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands.

“Everything looks really fun,” Harry exclaimed.

“Right! Do you wanna play some games first or ride on some rides?”

“How about we get the rides out of the way? You look very excited to go on them, and I have a feeling there’s no way you’re not going on them without me.” Harry assumed, quite accurately.

Luci put her hand on her heart teasingly. “You know me too well.” Harry chuckled. “Okay, let’s go on some rides!” She dragged him to the admissions booth, and Harry paid for both of their passes for rides.

They waited in line for the ‘Cyclone,’ which was the biggest rollercoaster besides the Wonder Wheel. Luci sensed Harry’s nerves as he kept looking up at the ride, and he couldn’t keep still.

She squeezed his hand tightly. “Harry, you don’t have to go on the ride with me.” She was starting to feel concerned for him because his hands were becoming damp, which she didn’t care for, and he kept bouncing his leg everytime the line stopped moving.

He raised his brows, and brushed away his nerves to the side but not very far. “No, no. It’s okay—I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

Pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, he nodded. “I’m sure. We’re here to have some fun, not be nervous, right?”

“Yeah. But I’ll admit, I was nervous before we left,” she said, hoping to change the subject to distract him from the fast ride above them.

“Why’s that?” He curled his lips into his mouth.

“This is our first date, I want it to go well,” she said honestly. It had been a while since she’d been on a real date—the last one being in college—but to be nervous for a date was a feeling she wasn’t familiar with.

“Think it’s going quite well, don’t you think?” He gave her a toothless grin, brows raised. Luci nodded, happy that he was always reassuring her and making her feel comfortable. “Plus, I was nervous too—still am, if I’m being honest.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded his head as if his nerves were the most obvious thing. “Oh, yeah. I want this to go well too. But by the way we’ve been friends for months before this happened, I think we’ll be okay, Ci.” Her eyes slightly widened at the new nickname that she’d never heard; Harry instantly noticed her shock. “I-Is it okay if I call you that?” To be honest, he’s always wanted to call her some unique nickname that would only be for him. ‘Luci’ seemed to be the name everyone called her, ‘Ana’ was her brother’s name for her, so the last syllable in her name seemed to be free.

“No one’s ever called me that.” And she thinks that’s extra special. “But yes, please call me that.” She approved, and he smiled.

It was their turn to get onto the Cyclone, and Harry suddenly didn’t feel so nervous anymore as they were being safely strapped into their rollercoaster cart. The ride was quite high, looking over the blue water and Coney Island Beach; the view was quite gorgeous, even in the middle of a cold November day in New York.

They screamed as the ride dropped; Luci held up one of her arms as the other held tightly on Harry’s hand as he grasped the metal bar, afraid to bravely put his arm up like his beautiful date.

When the ride was finished, they had a rush of exhilaration, wanting to go on the other rides. So, they did; they laughed, screamed, and were the most carefree people they’d ever been in their entire lives because they brought it out of each other.

After they filled their rollercoaster crave, they ate and talked. Individually, they were both worried about this part of the date where they had to talk because they’d been hanging out for so many months and getting to know each other that they thought coming up with conversation topics were going to be difficult. But it was natural for them; they didn’t put any pressure on themselves to speak every single minute of the date. Instead, they relished in the comfortable silence they seemed to form, not minding it one bit.

The sky had turned into a cotton candy pink from a bright blue quite quickly. Luci wanted to watch the sunset, but was a bit sad that they hadn’t played the majority of the games; but Harry told her it was okay, and they would come back another time when the park reopened again during the Spring.

Hand in hand, they walked to the beach that was just across the street from Luna Park. The bright lights from the park were becoming distant as they continued to walk further away from it. Since it was mid November, there weren’t that many people out because of the cold temperature—just the few people who were passing by along with others who decided to watch the sunset as well.

“Tell me about your last relationship?” Luci suddenly asked; Harry looked at her amusingly.

“Like now? In the middle of our date?” He teased, making her laugh.

“I mean, if you want to. I was just curious.”

Harry thought for a moment. “Hmm. My last serious relationship was over a year ago. We broke up right before I started teaching at the middle school.”

“What happened?” She asked softly, not wanting to pry, but she was also curious.

“We weren’t good for each other anymore. I guess life happened, and we turned into people we weren’t proud of. We grew apart; she was more in love with her career than she was in love with me. Couldn’t say I was the best boyfriend either,” he explained, not getting into too much detail. But he’d neglected her without even realizing it, causing his ex to occupy herself with work. “So, we broke up. And it felt like it was a sign from the universe that was holding me back from venturing out because I immediately got a job at the school when I had been putting off finding a proper teaching job.” He breathed out a chuckle, remembering the memory.

He’ll admit, his last relationship had hurt him quite a lot. He’d never felt such pain before, and it had made him quiet and reserved. But how it ended made him not seek out to find a relationship. For a while, he didn’t like the idea of love because it had only hurt you. But then he met Luci, and at first, he was hesitant to even be her friend because just at first glance, he was ruined, and he didn’t want to go through that process again; but here they are now. And maybe, he’ll tell her this, but for now, he doesn’t want to scare her off.

“Do you still talk to her?”

“Nope. Last I heard of her, she was engaged to this woman she met a few weeks after our breakup, but I have no clue if they’re still together.” He shrugged his shoulders. “What about you?”

“My last relationship?” Harry nodded. “To be honest, I’ve never been in a serious one…like ever.”

He raised his brows in shock. “Really?”

“Yeah. The furthest I’ve gone that was close to a relationship was a friends-with-benefits towards the end of college, which didn’t end well.” Harry sensed her mood change a bit, so he didn’t pry on asking what happened in the past. The bad memories had filled her mind, making her frown, but she pushed those thoughts away, not wanting to think about them at the moment because the timing is unbelievable. “That’s that; I don't have any exciting or tea-spilling relationship stories.”

For a moment, she didn’t want to jinx her luck, but she imagined what it would be like to be in a relationship with Harry—despite it only being their first date. Her mind took her to a fantasy that was so special and sweet because that was how she pictured what it would be like to be with him.

They sat in silence as the sound of the waves crashing and the seagulls above them took over their hearing. It was nice and refreshing to sit side by side, taking in the beautiful scenery that the world provided. Sunsets had always made Luci feel a vast amount of gratitude towards the world and the people around her; the opportunities, the things that she got to see—they all wouldn’t have happened if the sun didn't go down, promising a new tomorrow.

Suddenly, Harry stood up, brushing the sand that had gotten on his jeans. He reached out to Luci, who was still sitting down and looking up at him.

“C’mon. Let’s walk,” he suggested. She grabbed his hand as he helped her up, and she patted away the soft sand that had stuck to her black jeans.

They held hands as they walked the shore of Coney Island Beach, walking towards where the sun was departing from the world. Once the sky had turned into a purple and orange blended masterpiece, Harry stopped walking, facing Luci as he took a deep breath.

“I’m trying…really hard to hold back.” He held her cold hands in his, lightly pushing and pulling her towards him. He’d been thinking about it for the entirety of their date, and he just wanted to pull her in and kiss her whenever.

Luci shook her head softly as she stopped swaying; her eyes flickered towards his mouth, glad she wasn’t the only one thinking the same thing. She dreamed of this—had been wanting to press her lips against his for quite some time

“Don’t hold back. Please, don’t hold back.” Her tone and eyes were pleading for him to not refrain himself from the most magical feeling. Luci let go of his hands, wrapping them around his waist as if she was giving him permission to kiss her.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, gently rubbing down to her elbows before he trailed them back up and to the sides of her neck and jaw. Placing a soft kiss to her forehead before placing his on Luci’s, he inhaled deeply, taking in the saltiness of the ocean next to them and the sweetness of her skin.

Luci fluttered her eyes closed, and Harry took that opportunity to connect his lips with hers. They molded their lips together as if it were one, tasting one another for the first time. The feeling of their passionate kiss felt like the ocean had synchronized together, forming the most beautiful and largest wave for the most dedicated surfer; and when it crashed, it was powerful, breathtaking, and strong—like no other wave could top this one, no one could top this one of a kind kiss.

Harry smiled into the kiss, making Luci smile and giggle as well. Her stomach fluttered, hugging him tighter to her as his thumbs gently caressed her soft skin. Nothing could top this feeling.

Pulling back, Harry breathed out a giddy chuckle before placing a few more pecks on her lips as if he was dreaming the first time. Luci opened her eyes as did he; she looked into his and found an immense amount of adoration within him.

“I like you…a lot.”

She leaned her forehead against his chest, cheekily smiling and restricting herself from squealing before she looked back up at him. “I like you too, Harry.”

Harry flashed her his smile, something that he couldn’t wipe off his face, not like he tried. Nowadays, he was smiling a lot more, and he was one hundred percent sure Luci was the cause of it.

Kissing her forehead, Harry hugged her to his chest as they watched the sun go down. With her face pressed against his chest, she heard the erratic heartbeat that was pounded heavily; and in that moment, she knew exactly how that felt—to feel so much for one person that your heart could fall out—and she only hoped he could feel hers because it was pounding just the same.

As they held each other tightly, they both knew that this was going to be something special.

And they were all in for the ride.

an exciting chapter! come talk to me about your thoughts, feelings, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3 next chapter will be up next saturday!

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles x oc #harry styles smut #harry styles series #harry styles writing #harry styles ff #harry styles fanfic #boyfriend!harry #actress!oc #harry styles #hs au

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xsamuu · 4 years ago

Note

HEYYYYY!! I saw your ask box was open and I was wondering if I could request a headcanon? Where the reader is in a massive fight with a friend they haven't seen for like 3 years and the friend takes it too far by saying something like "That's your boyfriend? How gross" "Ew why does he look like that? Couldn't grab someone better? Ugly ho" or whatever you come with? Tendou, Bokuto, Kenma, Kags, Nishinoya please, if you will?

I screeched when I saw this omg thank you I hope this is up to your standards bebs 😼👍🏾 but uh I should say some did come out a little bit like scenarios but I tried to stick to headcanons sorry for that still hope you enjoy 🎃😼

~Admin Rizzo

Tendou Satori

-you was minding your own business walking through a park your hands intertwined with your lover when a ✨m u s t y✨ old friend you knew had decided to share there unwanted opinions

-Tendou could see how uncomfortable you was and wanted to remove you from the situation but as he went to walk around the obstacle you stopped dead in your tracks

-“That’s who your with oh my god that’s fucking gross, I guess you’ll hook up with anyone you thot”

-It’s safe to say that tendou had come up with thousands of insults by the time the slur left there mouth

-Who even was this person?— WAIT WHO THEY CALLING A THOT?!

-you wasn’t a very confrontational person but nevertheless you wasn’t about to let this person who wasn’t even in your day to day life anymore talk smack about your man

-you went to retaliate when a big arm swooped around your shoulder catching you off guard

-“Babe lets go I wanted to bring you to the park today not a circus” 🤡

-Needless to say your ‘friend’ was shocked and maybe a little intimidated

-You on the other hand had to summon all the strength in your body not to laugh in there face

-With his arm still wrapped around he moved you away from the situation the both of you quickly changing the subject to something more important

Bokuto Kōtarō

-Bokuto loves spoiling you

-your the love of his life and he will make sure you know this not only through his words but also his actions

-this however works both ways there isn’t something you wouldn’t do to show him how much you support and love him

-You was sitting in the crowd at one of his games it was a very important one winning this match would definitely get him recognized by some powerhouse teams

-every time he would score a point for his team he would look up at you and every time you would be there imitating his celebration “HEY HEY HEY THATS MY ACE” You felt only pride and absolute infatuation with this man

-you was cheering your heart out when you suddenly felt someone bump your shoulder (a little too hard to be an accident—)

-You swung your head around only to come face to face with an old friend from middle school they looked bitter asf and your conscience was telling you to just ignore them

-“Oh you have nothing to say to me now Huh? I see your at another one of these boring ass games I thought you didn’t have time for people?”

-It’s true at one point you did say that but you didn’t think you’d loose one of your closest friends because of it even so you continue to ignore them hoping they’d get the message and leave

-they didn’t.

-“So you and number 4 are together I’m assuming. I guess ugly attracts ugly”

-immediately you saw red but you couldn’t ruin this for bokuto important people were here. As if he could sense your distress he shot his eyes up to where you were in the stand

-He called a time out, and started running out the gym everyone was confused but when he reappeared in the stands you knew all to well that he had caught on

-“Babe I just noticed your supposed to be closer to the match your an important guest” he smiled you mouthed him a thank you and gathered your things walking a few rows closer to the front

-Thankfully Akaashi was there looking up at you distracting you. The owllike man glared at your old friend “I don’t know what you did to Y/N but you better leave before you have another problem”

-When you looked back your ex friend was nowhere to be seen you giggled as bokuto gave you a big kiss before returning to the court

Kozume Kenma

-Kenma isn’t a contentious person in fact he would much rather settle an issue in the most inconspicuous way possible

-Even so if he feels that him or his partner was disrespected in anyway he will not hesitate

-You and Kenma was at a gaming convention you had been planning since the beginning of February (it’s now late April)

-You had sat through the entrance ceremony and was walking around admiring all the stalls and you were both having so much fun

-Kenma had left you for a split second to get someone’s autograph it was the animator from a game he played religiously you didn’t mind you stayed put and was scrolling through your phone

-“Long time no see y/n” you lifted your head to the sound of your name being called and made perfect eye contact with an old ‘friend’

-If you were being completely honest you hated them all they did was make you feel like an inferior insect whenever you two were together you hummed a ‘yo’ before going back to your phone

-“Still a quiet freak eh LuLu I guess you here on your own or something”

-Lulu was the name of a magical girl from a cartoon you used to love but upon finding out people would use it to mock and degrade you

-you was gonna walk away the ridiculous nickname when you heard a familiar voice

-“no y/n is with me and you are?” It was a genuine question but anyone who didn’t know Kenma would take his pack of expression as bored or sarcastic

-The person scoffed and pointed accusingly at Kenma “That’s who your with LuLu you couldn't do any better HE’S JUST AS LIFELESS AS YOU ARE”

-You tugged on Kenma sleeve motioning to just leave as you felt uncomfortable but Kenma wasn’t having it you had been so excited to be here and with him and this nobody came out of nowhere and started harassing you

-“Listen um going to say this in a way you could understand— he smirked at you and then opened his mouth again

-What escaped his mouth next left you shocked, scared, a little embarrassed for him even but mostly touched

-he cleared his throat

-“lifeless. I’m not lifeless in fact I have a burning hatred for you right now. And that why I feel no guilt in what I’m about to do.”

-You gulped and held on tighter to kenma’s sleeve mentally preparing yourself for what he was about to do

-“YoU HaTe LuLu’S tRanSforMatiOn sOng?!” He practically shouted. Instantly a horde or gamers, writers, weebs and more bombarded the area shouting and screaming and causing a scene

- From all the commotion it’s sounded like your ‘friend’ was ok but some of the words leaving the mouths of the mob were kinda cruel

-you smirked and Kenma led you away

-You know he doesn’t like being the center of attention but he still protected you and for that you’d be sure to thank him for that

Kageyama Tobio

-Kags never really liked leaving you behind when he had to go to different countries

-without you it made him anxious and you would reassure him that you’d be fine and eagerly awaiting his return

-Including the return of his big, fat juicy—

Ahem heart 🙂

-You had been sitting in a café Face Timing him

-You’d often have dates like this and you both enjoyed them you was talking to him when someone took up a seat next to you

-“Hey Y/n funny running into you here” a familiar voice echoed

-A w k w a r d you hadn’t seen or heard from this person since a fight you had a couple years ago why now?

-You had nearly forgotten about your boyfriend on the other side of your iPad screen until “Oh you bought a friend y/n”

-you was at a loss for words but before you could answer the unwanted annoyance to your left answered for you

-‘We’re not friends y/n cut me off because she’s toxic” it took kageyama a solid 10 seconds to realize that this wasn’t a real friend and that you were silently asking for help

-You rested your head in hand obscuring the person from kags field of vision therefore blocking there vision of your face and boyfriend

-hoping they’d get the message without you having to vocalize it

-they stood up and you let out a breath you didn’t know you was holding

-“I wasn’t checking out your friend don’t worry he isn’t my type I prefer cute boys” they spat

-Before you could even assess the fact that they pretty much called your boyfriend ugly you was already pissed at the fact that they referred to kags as your friend

-you stood up abruptly and it’s like they were waiting for you to loose your cool all hope was lost when you heard him clear his throat

-“[there Instagram name] Damn you was easy to find. I liked you post”

-You felt a tinge of confusion race through you but watching all the blood in there body rush to your friends face made you curious

-“DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW” people were definitely looking in your direction

-“Leave then I will” Now you was curious what the help did he do?

-seconds, literal seconds. The annoyance was nowhere to be seen

-“Kags..wha—”

“I shared there IP address in the comments :p”

- “PFFT kAgS!”

Nishinoya Yū

-Noya made sure that you felt like the only person in the world before he asked you out, so when you started dating you didn’t think he could get any more protective over you

-You was sitting in the cinema with him both smiling and listening on to the movie

-He fidgets a lot in his seat but you dont mind you know he cant help it besides you find it cute he is just so full of energy

-“Babe imma go to the toilet be right back” he kissed your cheek and left

-you continue to watch the movie until you feel someone slither into the seat next to you and hearing the voice your your temples irks and your expression one of annoyance

-One of your ex friends for how many years ago had to be in the same theatre at the same time on the SAME FUCKING DAY

-they didn't seem like they were moving so you just spoke first

- “can i help you.?”

-No response :/

-You were even more irritated than before

-Noya came back a few minutes later and noticed another person had sat right next to you

-Noya is dense VERY VERY DENSE he assumed you ran into one of your friends so he didn't question it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-After the movie finished you grabbed your things and rushed to get out of that situation

-The same person had finally said something after a whole hour

- “That’s who you came with.. You really know how to pick em an annoying toddler really Y/n your honestly pathetic--”

-It didn’t bother Noya he has been called short all his life this isn’t any different but this rando was obviously upsetting you and he would NOT have that

-Noya would step infront of you and confront the person they get a warning

-one fucking warning

-If they don’t take it i shit you not noya is going for the ankles periodt

- “I DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE BUT YOUR UPSETTING MY PARTNER THE FUCKING DOOR IS BEHIND YOU SO TURN AROUND”

-Noya looked like the aggressor and its safe to say he may have caused a scene but he would be a fool not to step in and protect you with all you got

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dramaphan · 3 years ago

Text

Awake… but at what cost. Anyway I haven’t looked at any social media yet I’m going into this video totally blind watch me lose my shit in real time starting now

• “Against some guy” listen I know it’s a joke but Dan’s been gone from YouTube so long that there’s probably a decent chunk of people who actually don’t fucking know who he is and that’s so goddamn funny

• Two hometowns: a hill and a parking lot. Very exciting

• “Clench your buttcheeks mate” oh don’t worry Dan I’ve been clenched for a week now

• Okay how scripted is this thing because I don’t know if I can handle 25 minutes of this if they have lines

• Bye Dan nice seeing you

• “Me and Phil like to crush each other” do not elaborate on that

• I’m a whopping two minutes in and I hate this I don’t know why I hate it but I think it’s the acting. Please tell me they stop acting soon

• Adrenaline valley huh? Sure

• Dan is so competitive right off the bat and for what we all know he’s not winning

• Oh good we’re here at Ye Olde Gloryhole this is off to a great start isn’t it. Rumour has it this is where Phil was conceived

• Who’s dog is that

• We’ve all had a little teeth bang haven’t we phil

• Oh my god there’s fucking side interviews like we’re on big brother or something I’m gonna end it

• I’m praying we run into someone these fools actually know at some point there is no perspective I want more than the old biddie that has known Phil since childhood

• Damn it I was hoping we were doing shots fuck you YouTube and your rules

• I feel we’ve already run out of steam

• Phil doesn’t want to go to Dan’s hometown either does anybody like that place

• Oh wait I was wrong about the gloryhole I actually think this is where Phil was conceived. Under the glowing blue light of the alien monument

• Wait fuck no hold on are we gonna get deep I’m in no mood I can’t get deep right now can we pause

• Jesus okay barely dodged that bullet

• Oh we’ve gone Parkin at the top of the hill have we. That means something else here entirely. Stay safe boys don’t get pregnant

• Why do they always try to bring back the 7 second challenge why do we do this to ourselves

• There’s just like. Other people in the back trying to have a day and I know these idiots are ruining it

• “I’ve never cared about where I come from or anyone that lives there, but now I do” may I ask what exactly was the price tag on getting you to care

• The way that bench is wobbling around like it’s made of cardboard is killing me what’s going on

• Obsessed with the overhead shot of Dan’s hometown being just a field. At least Phil had some buildings, Dan grew up in the woods apparently

• I do enjoy that Dan apparently is not going to tell us shit about his childhood or what he was up to he’s just copying Phil I am more than happy to come out of this video with zero new information about Dan’s younger years

• Oh we’re in a real place now huh damn

• I want to clown on Dan so bad but to be fair my hometown is also in the middle of the woods and the nearest place you could call a town is three parking lots next to the highway so I’m really just feeling some solidarity

• Man listen I hate to admit it but Dan really is getting relatable I too used to drink filtered water under a bridge with my friends

• Phil getting the axe throw on the first try… hot

• What’s with the dramatics where tf are we going now

• Why does this theatre look like a library

• Yeah that sure is a theatre kid look at him what a miserable little shit

• Okay we’ve reached the weirdly deep portion of the video again I’m clenching my butt

• Did anyone else see that massive spitball jesus

• Dan has kissed a boy before???

• Something about Dan telling his spin the bottle story and then immediately telling Phil he needs to “soak in the experiences”

• This improv set is going to kill the Queen I know it I’m gonna get my server back

• A goose coming out as gay sadly is literally just what big was

• So Dan completely lost right like we all agree that no matter the official verdict that was a lose for him

• Fuck you phil

• A bunch of cars in a big empty room is this nascar are we gonna get to see them drive

• Aw I wanted to see them drive a car

• Neither of them are gonna make it past the first thing right

• Wow Phil won is literally anyone on earth surprised

• “I’m sure you’ve gotten to know us and our origin stories on a deep level” did we actually learn anything new I feel like I came out of this with net zero information

• “subscribe to me… check out Dan” well that just says it all doesn’t it

• “nice joke” YEAH THAT JUST SAYS IT ALL

Final thots: that was fun. Still can’t figure out why Dan would ever agree to it but he somehow managed to half ass it and get paid so good for him I guess

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aceofshitposts · 3 years ago

Note

I saw that you like CATS the musical. What are your thoughts on the movie?

AAAAH AHHAHA oh man oh boy y'all should BUCKLE IN cuz it's a ride

my simple thoughts? it's entertaining if only because it butchered the stage show so badly in an attempt to idk modernize it? Well, modernization is one part of it I think. The other part I'll go into below lol. I don't necessarily hate some of the more modern renditions of the songs (mostly the ensemble sets like Jellicle Song for Jellicle Cats) but then others are just... so poorly done it's insulting.

I've said this at the end of this whole rant too but I'm gonna put it up here in case people don't (justifiably) wanna see me go on and on about it:

The movie wasn't made for fans of the musical. It was made to make money and I believe they choose, at least partially, to do that through making it the weirdest and worst possible adaptation they could so that people would want to go see the train wreck. Which, really, worked! It was all people could talk about for a good while so like... Goal achieved, I guess.

A MUCH MORE COMPREHENSIVE ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT cuz i don't wanna. flood your dash with... this

ALRIGHT SO. Most of my friends know I'm actually a huge fan of new adaptations of things. I love remakes (provided the people making it are coming at it with some form of heart and not just... cash grabbing which is more often the case) I love seeing other peoples interpretations of characters, or changing settings. It's one of the reasons I like American comics so much, getting to see different writers takes is fascinating.

I think musical movies can be wonderful ways to introduce people to a stage show that might have been unavailable to them otherwise! Chicago, for example, is one of the BEST musical to movie adaptations in my opinion. It kept the heart of the show, it's funny and the song numbers are done really well.

There are of course other famous examples, such as Grease or Bye Bye Birdie. Hairspray was also a wonderful take. These are simply off the top of my head, there are of course more.

CATS in particular has a history. If you go through my CATS tag you may see a few posts from @catsnonreplica which posts photos from non broadway productions of CATS! It's a fascinating read and I love, love, love looking at the other interpretations of the characters! CATS is a musical full of fun and wonderful characters if you take the time to see past the ridiculousness haha and the Korean and Japanese runs of CATS especially have some of my favourites.

How does this relate to the movie, I hear you say well. As you might has noticed the movie's interpretations of the characters is........ lackluster at best and downright uncanny valley at best.

CATS is, at its core, a ridiculous thing. I will fully admit that! But it's fun, it's entertaining and if you pay a little attention you can actually get the plot. (Honestly I don't understand when people complain it has no plot but that's a whole other rant for another day)

The movie was... obsessed with this idea of like... semi realism? Like obviously, as a fan, I think they should have leaned into the over the top character designs but instead we got...w ell:

Bombalurina:

Demeter left and Bomba right. Demeter was actually cut! From the movie which is. upsetting lmao.

Macavity is one of the worst offenders for me:

Macavity was... I wish I could know what the hell they were thinking there cuz it's even in his song? Ginger cat??? THAT IS NOT... A GINGER CAT...... but I digress. I would show more examples but I think you get the point.

So. We've butchered the characters appearances. Okay that's fine but what about their personalities?

ALSO BUTCHERED.

There's... there's a lot to unpack here. Just for context: the Jellicle Ball happens once a year and the Jellicle leader chooses a single cat to be reborn into a new life. In the stage play all the cats who are nominated for this honour are on the older side (Jenny-Any-Dots, Bustopher Jones, Skimbleshanks, Gus The Theatre Cat, and eventually Grizzabella) AND are always nominated by another cat. Not themself, unlike the movie where they all seem to nominate themselves.

Jenny-Any-Dots went from a doting grandmother figure who's celebrated for her selfless volunteering and tireless work into a conceited, vain younger cat who is obsessed with fame.

It's an incredibly strange dichotomy. I don't doubt some of it isn't the result of the uh people playing the characters honestly. I do think some of them did the best they could! I don't really blame Jason Derulo, for example, for Tugger. And honestly, Tugger was probably closest to his stage version (while being a trouble maker, he's shown to show Deuteronomy an immense amount of respect)

Speaking of Tugger! This will bring us to one of the biggest grievances with the movie and that is how they handled Mr Mistoffelees.

So... Ugh. So. We have Victoria as the pov character, which imo is like whatever in the grand scheme of things, and then we have Misto who they have decided will be get live interest cuz... Of course. Misto is shown throughout the musical to be awkward, unsure of himself and well. Really, kinda incompetent. Which is Wild cuz in the stage show he might be aloof but he's fairly confident in his powers.

So, Old Deuts gets kidnapped. In the stage show Tugger is the one to bring Misto forward! It's really quite sweet, imo, and I'm showing myself as a Tuggoffelees shipper here, but again Tugger is previously shown to be pretty conceited but then here he is boosting and hyping up Misto to bring Deuteronomy back. My friends and I have lovingly dubbed this the boyfriend hype song.

SOMEHOW. The movie manages to make this, easily, the MOST BORING number in the whole thing. Which, again, WILD. Misto awkwardly stumbles through his whole song, which again is... Boasting of his supreme magical powers which movie Misto clearly. Does not have or believe to have. The song, to me, feels super awkward and unnecessarily drawn out in the movie which sucks cuz it's one of my favourites in the show.

The declawing (heh) of Mr Mistoffelees actually reminds me strongly of how they changed Gaston in the live action Beauty and the Beast movie. He's gone from a beloved figure in the animated movie to someone so disliked in the town that Le Fou has to pay people off to say nice things about him. It's just. Wild character choices were made!!

Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat is probably my favourite in movie non ensemble number. It feels the most... Genuine? Compared to the other nomination songs.

Other problems include but are not limited to:

The inconsistent size scale of the CATS which throws me off constantly.

The weirdly overt sexual overtones added to MANY of the songs (Jenny and Bustopher being the worst)

This is just a personal gripe and opinion but I don't like that they used the UK version of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. The American version is both better known and tbh way more fun. Teazer's giggle? Adds ten years to my life every time.

Victoria's added solo song, Beautiful Ghosts, while I like the song as a song it doesn't fit the style of message of the musical. In the movie she's singing directly to Grizzabella who's being an outcast for years that she should be grateful she even has memories of being part of the tribe?? What?? But I know they had to add an original song to be able to be nominated for awards in like the Grammys n shit (which is why all musical movies will have an original song, fun fact!!) kinda funny they went to the effort though considering........... I don't think anyone could have genuinely believed CATS 2019 was gonna win anything but golden rhaspberries.

Movie Mr Mistoffelees has made repeated appearances as my sleep paralysis demon

The various cut characters, shout outs to Jemima, Demeter and Jellylorum especially

Bombalurina being a henchman to Macavity rubs me the wrong way

God I've written... So much. You probably get it by now haha. Like I said at the beginning, I try to go into any adaptation with an open mind but... Let's be honest, this movie wasn't marketed to people who are fans of the musical.

It was marketed, and made, to make money. And they choose to do that through, I think, intentionally making the worst possible version ever. Bad press is still press and the more outrageous people said the movie was the more people wanted to go see exactly what kind of train wreck it was.

Which is a disservice to the stage show, honestly, and all the people who've worked on it over the years.

But what can we do, right?

And besides all that, I do... Still own the movie version and I do still rewatch it on occasion. It is entertaining even if it's in a train wreck kind of way. I usually end up watching the 1998 version, then 2019 and then various tour runs that are on YouTube. (I highly recommend the 2016 tour, it's very good)

So in conclusion. It's fun (?) to watch. I enjoy picking things apart and doing analysis (if you couldn't tell!) so like... I don't hate it?

It did what it set out to do, I guess, and I can't fault it for that but. It's not a fair metre with which to judge the stage show imo. But I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, haha.

Jazz hands. I'm more than happy to elaborate or just chat about CATS if anyone wants! I grew up listening to the Broadway CD since I was a toddler so it's been! A very long standing obsession haha. Probably the only other thing on par with CATS is my obsession with Jurassic Park which I've also been a fan of since I was 3 (but that's a whole story in and of itself)

#astrix thoughts #cats the musical #Thanks for the opportunity to talk about one of my hyperfixations anon!#And to anyone who reads this whole mess lmao

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bastardtetsu · 4 years ago

Text

critical thinking | ch②

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x gn!reader

genre: college au, enemies to lovers, tsundere!reader, slow burn

wc: 1.7k

warning: swearing, being a theatre major

※ mlist | ① ● ③ ④

after several weeks of douchebag exposure therapy, you’re practically numb to kuroo’s bullshit - for the most part. you still get a bit flustered when you get things wrong, but his teasing barely phases you since you’ve abandoned the concept of speaking to him with respect.

“STILL struggling with balancing equations, y/n??” he chides as you work on your homework, “jeez, maybe i need to start giving you extra assignments.”

“on god kuroo, if you try to make me do any more chemistry than is absolutely necessary i will make sure you never know a day of peace in your life.”

“but y/n,” he teases, “you know if you don’t practice you’ll never get any better.”

“i’m not trying to ‘get better,’ i’m trying to pass the class.”

“ahh, no ambition. you hate to see it.”

“wanna shut the fuck up and let me do my homework?” you snap.

“see, there’s that passion!”

he really is insufferable. you roll your eyes and groan, turning your attention away from the mocking rooster & back to your homework while he gets up to stretch his legs.

what he said wasn’t wrong, you are struggling with the whole balancing equations thing. your brain feels like it’s working on overdrive as you scribble away - numbers are definitely not your strong suit.

you can hear him start to snicker behind you as you work. you pause your writing and turn around to see him peeking over your shoulder with a sadistic smile on his face.

“is something funny?” you ask, unimpressed. his smile softens a bit as you stare him down.

“you’re doing it wrong,” he says, and leans down to correct your work. his face is much closer to yours now, you can almost feel the warmth of his breath as his arm reaches around your right side to write in your notebook while his left hand rests on the back of your chair, practically enveloping you.

resisting the urge to turn and stare at the annoying, criminally sculpted face that’s now inches away from yours, you fix your eyes on his hand as he writes and try to ignore how warm you suddenly feel.

his hands are big, you think, noticing how much smaller your pencil looks when he holds it. you can smell his cologne again, too. sandalwood or whatever.

“there, see?” he says, turning his head to look at you.

your faces are still so close.

what is it about his eyes that makes his stare feel so intense every time?

you quickly avert your gaze back to the page of notes, focusing extra hard on the numbers so you can ignore the beat your heart skipped just now. somehow, the equation in front of you looks even more indecipherable than it did before. and why does your face feel so hot?

“i… still don’t get it,” you admit tentatively. he just lets out a soft chuckle, letting his gaze drop for a second before locking eyes with you, lips curled into a smirk.

“you really are bad at this.”

another electric shock of embarrassment mixed with rage jolts through you.

“yeah, and what?” you challenge, “that makes me dumber than you? ok, well if you’re so smart why don’t you try telling me about willy loman’s superobjective in death of a salesman? or identifying the difference between verse and prose in classical text?? i bet you don’t even know who anton chekhov is, but sure, i’m the idiot because i don’t know how to balance a damn equation. how about learn your shit, and then you can teach me mine.”

kuroo just stands there for a moment, taken aback by your outburst. then the bitch starts laughing.

“what’s funny?!!” you interrogate, your voice getting louder. his laugh sounds like a goddamn hyena.

“y/n oh my god,” he chokes out between cackles, “you’re such a nerd!”

“ME??!!?!” you just about scream, furious, “you’re calling me a nerd?? have you met yourself??!”

“well at least i’m not in danger of failing a class,” he giggles.

“that has nothing to do with this,” you snap.

“so who’s anton chek-whatever?” he prods, still amused.

“see, you’re laughing but you’re the one sounding stupid this time,” you grumble. you can tell he’s just searching for something else to tease you about, but you can’t resist the opportunity to turn the tables & be the one schooling him for once. “chekhov. he’s a famous playwright. from russia. one of the early pioneers of modernism in the late 19th/early 20th century - not that you’d even know what that means.”

“you’re right, i don’t,” he relents, “but you seem like you do. nerd.” his eyes have an extra glint in them as they narrow with another taunting smirk.

“leave me alone, you’re the one who asked,” you groan, finally fed up with his antics. “look, i need to finish this homework before i get out of here. otherwise it’s never getting done.”

“i’ll check your answers when you’re finished,” he offers.

“only if you’re not a dick about it.”

“you only think I’m being a dick when you get the answer wrong.”

“SHUT UP.”

—

as midterms approach, the stress is starting to get to you as your workload gets heavier and heavier. maybe that’s why you seem extra snarky towards your annoying, hot, annoyingly hot chemistry tutor today.

“y/n, did you review chemical bonds like i told you to last week?” he chides after you get another homework question wrong. sometimes he really does sound like a teacher, or someone’s dad. but thankfully, he is neither of those things, which means you can comfortably trash him.

“sorry i have things to worry about besides memorizing how electrons work,” you snark, “what about you? this isn’t even your major, do you not have other shit to do besides come here & make fun of me?”

“hey, i do this because i love it!” he protests dramatically. you can see the smirk in his eyes.

“sure” you sneer back, “look, i don’t know about you, but some of us actually have to work for our degrees. we don’t have time to waste bullying people who don’t know science for fun.”

“who says I can’t do both?”

now you’re starting to get annoyed.

“dude for real. do you know how busy i am?? like, ALL the time??? why else do you think i’m here? i wouldn’t be in this shitty class if i had room for anything else. i can’t even go to my professor’s office hours!”

“ah, well, that explains a lot.”

“shut up,” you jab, “the only reason i keep coming back to your dumb ass tutoring hours is because my schedule is so goddamn packed i can’t meet up with anyone else.”

“sure, whatever you say y/n,” he croons, tone dripping in sarcasm.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“oh you know,” he teases, eyes full of mischief. you really don’t though?

“you’re full of shit,” you mutter dismissively. he’s trying to egg you on to say something stupid so he can ridicule you for it, but you can see right through him.

“i’m not the one dodging the subject,” he grins, his eyes unmoving from you as you turn back to your paper. even facing away from him, you can feel his laser beam of a stare on you as if he were breathing right down your neck. ha, i wish. wait— “you know, you’re not gonna get very far on that worksheet if you didn’t do any review.”

“would you be quiet?” you snap at him, fed up with his condescension, “or better yet, maybe do your job and help me figure it out?”

“well,” he purrs with a sickly sweet smirk, “only since you asked so nicely.”

you make sure to roll your eyes extra hard at him to make up for the way your heartbeat quickened at his flirtatious tone.

thankfully, he actually obeys your request this time and tones down the teasing as he explains chemical bonds, doing his best to help you through each homework problem step-by-step. usually he can tell when you’re actually getting irritated and makes up for it like this. you’re silently grateful for this form of kindness from him, even if it’s only because you’re a nightmare to work with otherwise.

as you wrap up your session with him - late once again, but he never minds staying past the end of his tutoring hours since he has the rest of the day off anyway - you hurriedly pack your things, grumbling a complaint about how now you don’t have time to get something to eat before you meet with your scene partner to rehearse your acting midterm. while it’s pretty normal for you to miss meals because of your schedule, it’s frustrating nonetheless, especially after your brain has just been fried by molecular bonds.

“oi, y/n,” kuroo says as you turn to leave. you pause, bracing yourself for whatever stupid comment he’s about to make.

“take care of yourself,” he says, a tinge of concern just barely distinguishable in his tone, before adding, “and remember to review covalent and ionic bonds!” you sigh. he sounds like a dad again.

“see, those are contradictory statements,” you gripe, “chemical bonds could not be further from self care.” he chuckles softly at that.

“at least make sure you eat, ok? maybe you’d get better at chemistry if you had more nutrients.”

“BYE, kuroo,” you call out, already headed for the door.

as you hurry towards your next destination, you can’t get your mind off of how weird it was to see kuroo acting… worried about you? normally his reaction to your struggling is just to tease you about it, but this was new for him. you’re not sure how to feel about it, and it’s hard to tell when the adrenaline of being in a rush is making your heartbeat do all sorts of things that might be confused with something else.

either way, there’s no way you’re reviewing a goddamn thing before next week.

a/n: yeah ok my theatre major jumped out in this one.. i can’t believe i’m posting a fic where i talk about superobjectives & chekhov unironically dsfdddfs hope that doesn’t ruin the experience for u, i really tried to do some research so y/n and kuroo could have an actual discussion about chemistry but turns out i’m dumb in real life so u get this instead

#haikyuu!!#kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu #.txt #e writes

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retvenkos · 5 years ago

Text

amends pt. 9 // ricky bowen

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series - Slow Burn Ricky Bowen x Stage Manager!Reader Fic. Summary: That’s asking a lot of the theatre gods. Then again, it does include a lot of drama, so maybe it might just work out. A/N: I finally gave the people what they wanted. pt. 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8

“I guess we could fill the background with these mannequins and then we wouldn’t have to make as many set pieces.”

“I would have to re-costume all of them. I don’t think these clothes were even acceptable in the 80s.”

You sighed, surveying the stage area. Both Kourtney and Big Red (who were getting along, surprisingly enough) were circling the rave that seemed to have exploded in the corner. Sure, you hadn’t known what you were getting yourself into when you had started your trip to your new theater, but nothing could have prepared you for what the El Rey actually was.

Was a professional location worth it if there were serious health risks to anyone who showed up? You were seriously considering telling Miss Jen that the park was a better venue - you could create a wall with the mannequins for privacy if you had to.

“Umm…” Kourtney and Big Red looked up as you considered your options, “Red, I want you to remake the main platform for the New Years scene. Don’t worry about extending the walls, we’re not going to have enough material for that anyway.”

He nodded and walked off, a confident bounce in his step. That was good. At least someone felt like they could pull this off.

“And me?” Kourtney looked at you expectantly.

“Most of the costumes were saved, right?”

“Yeah. I’m having most of the ensemble wear their street clothes.”

“Sweet. You can help me move these, then.” You picked up a mannequin and started to awkwardly shuffle away. It was taller than you, and it was an awkward move, but you and Kourtney eventually got every mannequin into a prop closet that you were 90% sure was haunted.

“Soundcheck!” Miss Jen’s voice - a little more strained than usual - called out to everyone. You walked over to where Big Red was messing with the soundboard, praying that it worked.

Today was going to be a long day.

…

“Hey, R.” The boy in question smiled as you sat down next to him on the stairs. “How are you holding up?”

“Things could be better.” Ricky’s tone was light and you laughed. “I mean, things were not weird between me and Nini. At all. But Gina’s gone and we’re in this creepy theater, so…”

“Oh, I know. I’ve been doing damage control all day.” You shook your head, gathering your thoughts. “We’re lucky, though. We didn’t lose nearly as much as we thought. The set took most of the damage - we’re going to have to work all weekend to get some of it back.”

“Is Miss Jen going to have you get the supplies?”

“Yeah, actually.” You looked at him, your eyes narrowing. How did he know? “I was just about to find someone to come with me.” You withheld the idea that it was him that you were going to ask. He didn’t need to know that your mind always went straight to him.

“I can go with!” There was excitement in his voice, and he quickly came up with an excuse to cover it, making you smile. “I mean, we don’t know how long Miss Jen is going to have us locked out of the stage area…”

“Yeah.” You smiled at him, your face feeling warm. “I’d love that.”

…

Were you glad that the show was going to be put on in the gym instead of the rat-infested El Rey theater? Yes. But were you going to scream if another change happened to the production? Definitely.

This was the last dress rehearsal - and first tech rehearsal in the gym. And, as fate would have it, the only stage crew member that could do the light board was sick with the flu, somehow all of the basketball jerseys were lost in the move, and Ricky and Nini were M.I.A.

After getting Big Red on FaceTime with the sick crew member and Kourtney talking with the basketball coach to see if they could use some of their actual jerseys, all you had to do was find your two leads. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were smiling because of how similar this situation was to the beginning of the year when you were looking for Nini and Ashlyn and Ricky had helped you.

But the majority of your mind was stressed.

Really, really stressed.

When you started to walk toward the choir room, you could hear singing and knew you must’ve been looking in the right spot. The closer you got, the more you recognized the voices and the song.

I Can’t Take My Eyes off of You. The song that Gabriella and Troy sang when on the rooftop - one of the few songs in the stage musical that wasn’t in the show. When Ricky had found out about it, he had gone on about it for the rest of the week. “Is it really that important if it wasn’t in the movie?” “The words are pretty serious, y’know. Are you sure Nini is actually going to sing this with me?” “There’s a saxophone in this?!” You had laughed and told him it was going to be fine. And it had been.

You stood in the doorway and watched as Ricky and Nini rehearsed. Nini was focused on playing the piano to guide them, and Ricky was pacing, his eyes closed as he focused on getting the part just right.

“...How all I see is you and I…”

His voice was melodious, the words tumbling from his mouth like a waterfall rushing over you. It was full of joy, hope, and love. Everything he did was full of love and warmth. He cared for everyone and somewhere in his caring for you, you fell in love with him.

“...I can’t take my eyes off of you…”

You marveled at him from your place at the doorway - what else could you do? It was easy to love him, even if it was from afar. He was kind and funny… he always made you feel good inside when you were together. Almost as if he cared...

“...I know you feel the same way too…”

Ricky ran a hand through his hair, eyes still closed tight. It looked right, seeing him there. Like he had finally found his place - a place where he could be himself. He always seemed that way in rehearsals - laughing with Big Red, practicing with Nini. He always did his best when he looked comfortable like this. It was your favorite look of his - his comfortable happiness. You loved the way it looked on him. You really did.

“...You never know what you’re gonna feel--”

Ricky opened his eyes and turned back to the piano. Then his eyes fixed on you.

You stood, rooted to the spot. His eyes were wide with panic, the same type of horrible adrenaline surging through your veins. You could see it in his eyes.

He knew.

A cold dread filled you from within, but you couldn’t move. You couldn’t pull away from the wide-eyed look in his beautiful, brown eyes. The panic. The fear.

He knew. He knew. He knew. And he hated it…

When the tears that welled in your eyes broke free, you turned around and left.

It wasn’t running away. Running meant that you could get away from it eventually. But not this. This would stay with you. You couldn’t get away from this. Not when he knew. But you couldn’t stay. Not here - not at school. This school was like a prison, and every moment you were there, the time to your execution loomed nearer. You had to grab your things and go.

The sound of your heartbeat was fast and loud as you walked to your locker. You couldn’t see clearly anymore so you let your legs take you where they knew they needed to go. The sound of your own rushing blood filled your ears.

How could you have been so stupid? How could you have been so careless? You ruined everything and had nothing left. You would never be able to face him again, not after that. He would never be your friend again, not after that. Not after everything…

You were crying, and the tears made it so you couldn’t get the combination right to open up your locker. You blinked furiously and tried to restart the combination process.

“Hey!” His voice called out to you.

You mind was racing and you couldn’t really remember the numbers anymore, but you tried to come up with an excuse, “I--” you pushed away a sob, eyes still fixed on the black dial in front of you, “I just have to get home right now because they need me at home. family emergency, y’know?” your voice was going a mile a minute, the words slurring into one another until your words were almost unrecognizable. “If I could just open this stupid locker I can get going any minute now...” You’re just spinning the lock, now, the numbers all blurring into one as you talk over his incessant calling of your name.

“(N/n).” A hand closes over yours gently, the lock stopping in its tracks. For a moment all you can hear are your strained breaths.

You close your eyes.

“I’m sorry, R.” Your voice is a whisper, but it still carries in the still hallway.

The two of you sit down side by side in front of your locker.

You wipe away your tears with the sleeve of your jacket, your breath steadying with every second that passes. Ricky is quiet next to you, so much so that you think he might have left. It takes all of your energy to look beside you. And there he was - your Ricky.

One of his hands was running through his hair, messing it up even further, big eyes looking down at the floor, his mouth forming the slightest frown.

And you did this to him.

It’s quiet for a long moment. You sighed and tip your head against your locker, closing your eyes. The hallway was dead, but the ringing in your ears makes the silence deafening.

Ricky spoke then, his voice barely over a whisper but cutting through everything the way it always had.

“How long?”

You shook your head sadly, collecting yourself enough to respond. “Too long. It doesn’t matter.”

He looked down at his lap and started picking at a frayed hole in his jeans. You didn’t know what to say and took to watching him instead. You saw what you had done.

“That day when we went to Big Red’s and watched all of the high school musicals to distract me from my mom being gone… that’s when I knew.” His voice was quiet, and there was something soft in his eyes.

“You knew how I felt?” you asked tentatively.

He shook his head, brown eyes never meeting yours. “I knew how I felt.”

Your breath hitched, and something akin to fear started to course through you. But you could feel something else too. Something confused, but hopeful. You couldn’t see yourself, but you tried your best to steel your gaze - fill them with something that was resolved, prepared for what would come next. “I care about you, R. Maybe more than I should, and maybe not enough. But I like your stupid jokes and your well-meaning nature, and how hard you try to be a better person.”

Ricky looked up, his eyes a little red from crying, but shining nonetheless. Your heart was swelling with anticipation when he finally said, “I do too - about you, I mean.”

You both let out a sigh of relief, features curling into smiles. And for a moment all you could see was him beaming back at you, the light coming off of him brighter than the sun.

You leaned into him subconsciously and he did the same. You were close enough to feel the warmth that radiated from him, and you were all too aware of his shaky hands reaching for your waist. You heart was pounding against your ribcage and the two of you got closer--

“(Y/n)! Where are you?” Carlos’s strained voice calls out from around the hall, and the two of you jump apart. There’s a crash where Ricky’s head hits your locker, and despite yourself, you laugh.

When Carlos turns the corner, you and Ricky are laughing, hands just inches apart.

taglist:

@room-3o4, @dinsey-chanel, @ruefulposts, @mightdielater, @ggukstoe, @wallacetdog, @onceuponafanfiction, @goodnight-n-dayglow, @prttybitchin, @loyalucas, @hxney-bunches-x, @hxzstxles, @parkeroffline, @madamestarlet, @parkerharrington, @fudgemesteveharrington, @hobistigma, @farfrom-peter, @fangeekkk, @tori-marie, @amxx44, @onceuponafanfiction, @softpeteparker, @filmqvakers, @wcnderwoo, @stitch-flo, @liberty01, @kxhliforniaa, @ilymarkchan, @complete-trash-101, @strangerxhunters, @dystopianchic13, @allaroundaddict, @hannarudick, @sweetmilki, @aesthetics-andfandoms, @byuncaa, @write-from-the-heart, @spiderbibby, @captainlarsonn, @ssuddenn, @buckybearsblog, @awkwardnesshabitat, @whiteskinnyboysandmemewhore, @shawnandconnor, @fukoffoclock, @rhainintheattic

#high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts #ricky bowen #ricky bowen x reader #x reader #fic #fic series #slow burn #stage manager! reader #sorry if there is typos #this is largely unedited

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 4 years ago

Note

18, 19 & 24 for E?

18. "You're not gonna hurt me."

19. "I hate Halloween."

24. "I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warnings: murder, blood, violence, swearing

The curfew started an hour ago yet the streets were filled with trick or treaters. A part of her wondered if the parents who let their kids out unsupervised were sane, but then again, wasn’t she out as well?

The murders shaking up the little town had yet to stop, the seventh victim had been found.

Seven women, all drowned to death but it wasn’t before the killer had his sick fun with torturing them first.

Shuddering, Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, looking around for the reason why she’s outside. If it were up to her, she’d be holed up inside with a scary movie on and a big bowl of popcorn to satisfy her anxiety. His arm would be around her, easing the fear, and they’d steal glances at each other every so often until one of them would give up and steal a kiss.

Y/n’s ideal Halloween would have been just like that. Unfortunately, she agreed to go out for a movie date with her boyfriend and his twin who was in town for a night.

“AH!” She screamed as someone jerked her from behind, laughing and wheezing at the same time.

“You should ‘ave seen your face!!” Grayson cackled, falling on his ass from laughter and she frowned before looking to her boyfriend.

“I hate Halloween.” She rolls her eyes, standing by her statement as Grayson wheezes and Ethan chuckles.

“C’mon! It was funny!” Ethan opens his arms and while reluctant, Y/N embraces the opportunity to hold him close. He was her flame and she a moth who willingly played with fire.

“You scared me half to death.” Complaining, her words are muffled by his chest where she buried her face, all too embarrassed about the way she screamed and angry she’s so easily scared.

“As if anyone could hurt you when I’m around.” Ethan presses a sweet kiss atop her head, swaying her left to right. Gazing up at his face, she notices a beautiful smile adorning his plush lips and there’s a sense of pure awe washing over her.

Ethan is a man many would fall for. Many did.

Charming, incredibly witty and intelligent, he owned every room her entered. He didn’t even ask for the attention, it was given freely and in abundance. His good looks attracted girls, his sporty hobbies attracted the men and no matter how many times she asked herself how he could have fallen for her - a social misfit, her brain never could form a believable answer.

“We’ll be late, love birds! Save the smooching for the bedroom.” Grayson teased, going ahead of the two. It was known he was definitely a Halloween fan and while horror movies scared him, Grayson insisted on watching one every year.

Walking hand in hand, Y/N and Ethan reminisced. It was easy to get lost in the autumn magic, the colorful trees around them and the dim light of streetlights making them wish they were alone to kiss without anyone giving them dirty looks.

“I’m really glad you came with us tonight.” Ethan whispers, making Grayson shush him as result. The movie had started a while ago, nothing too interesting to keep Y/N’s attention. She had watched The Hills Have Eyes so many times before it just lost its appeal.

Moving her legs aside, Y/N had let a girl pass by, only to turn her attention back to Ethan.

“I’m glad you wanted me to.” Smiling sheepishly, she let him take her hand, watching him pull it up to his lips and press a tender kiss.

“Do you want anything? I’ll go to the bathroom quick.” He raises an eyebrow, expecting her to ask for a popcorn refill but she shakes her head.

“Just you to come back.” Her smile wide, Y/N pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips, even if he did shake his head and smirk at her instead of giving her a kiss she craved.

It was an unstoppable craving for Ethan ever since he first kissed her after Sociology. She was smitten, hopelessly infatuated by him.

“Count on it.” Pecking the tip of her nose, Ethan was quick to disappear, leaving Y/N with a growing unsteadiness within.

Minutes passed and she began to grow anxious. Nervously bouncing her leg, Y/N sighed, checking her phone a few times before texting Ethan who had not sent a reply.

Chewing on the inside of her bottom lip, she couldn’t even follow what’s happening on the screen, lost in her own thoughts and the possible reasons why he has yet to return.

Perhaps there was a line for the bathroom? Perhaps he just needed to take a dump? Maybe he decided to get her the popcorn anyway?

Whatever the reason may be, she was done waiting.

“Gray”, she whispered, getting his attention. “I’ll go check on E.” She stood up, catching a nod in acknowledgement before leaving.

She didn’t bother checking the entrance, heading for the bathroom straight away. She knocked on the men’s room, calling his name but there was no answer and her raging heart told her something’s wrong.

Instead of panicking, she figured she should call him again in case he didn’t hear the texts. Walking into the women’s room for privacy, Y/N had expected anything but what she found.

Her eyes noticed the blood on white tiles, contrasting like rubies in the winter snow. Her black boots were already in the puddle of the pungent smell of iron - the kind that one smells after rain had corroded the pipes.

Shaky hands, tense body, Y/N dared to look ahead and toward the body of the lifeless woman who was very much alive when she moved out of her way earlier. She had her eyes open just as she did in the theatre, but there was nothing behind them - no happiness nor pair, no hope for the future.

And that’s when she found the culprit walking out of a stall.

There’s no remorse on his angelic, blood splattered, face nor guilt in his hazel eyes. The lips who showed her nothing but tenderness now formed a scowl she could never erase from memory.

“E-Ethan?” She stuttered in disbelief, looking to the knife he clutched possessively with his left hand.

“You really should have stayed and watched the movie.” Ethan sighs, too dramatically for it to be real. He step over the body as if it’s trash, nearing Y/N who stumbled back only to crash into a wall.

Breathing shallow and fast, she no longer felt tense but broken and shaken beyond what she believed to be possible. Her mind spins with every step he gets closer and there’s no strength inside her to run.

She always thought in a situation where it’s “fight or flight” she’d be able to run, but her body froze, remaining at the mercy of the one she thought loved her.

“You’re not gonna hurt me.” Her tone lacked conviction, but her eyes remained on him.

Ethan could smell the fear on her. Even if she spoke valiantly, he’d see through her. Widen eyes, nostrils flared, breathing as if she had run a marathon? She feared him. And he liked it.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, love.” He drawled it out, lifting his arm until the tip of his knife pressed against her throat. “You see, she thought so too.” Ethan cranes his neck so Y/N could see the victim behind him only to snap his head back into position, making her gasp.

“Why? At least tell me if it was all a lie?” Her shaky voice entertains him and the way her carotid pulses only excites him. She’s a pretty girl, but she’s gorgeous when she’s scared of him.

“What do you think?” He raises an eyebrow, a cunning smile spreading across his lips as her chin quivers. “I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about.”

But before he makes the fatal cut, Ethan hears the sirens. It’s unlikely they’re for him, but he can never be too careful.

“I guess it’s your lucky night, love. Do clean up and head back. I’ll join shortly.” Nodding his head toward the door, Ethan steps back, bringing the tip of the blade to his lips. “And be quiet if you know what’s good for you.”

Pushing the heavy door, Y/N ran out, her legs finally serving her right. She ran past the theatre, straight to the register.

“Call 911!”

Her instincts told her not to. Her treacherous heart screamed at her to pretend she didn’t see anything. She wanted to. She really wanted to pretend, but as the guy asked questions why, she covered her mouth and held back a sob.

Shaking her head, she turned away and ran outside as the guy called the police regardless of her lacking response, aware she could be the reason why Ethan is apprehended.

And that should make her feel good, right? She should be happy? It certainly looked like he was the killer everyone’s been talking about, so why didn’t she feel good about it? Why did she feel sick to her stomach with the thought of never having his arms around her?

Perhaps she was just as mad as he is.

As the night went on, Y/N remained in her bed, terrified to turn on the news. But she had to. Something told her she had to.

‘The Beast has struck again, leaving the county police with yet another horrendous death on their hands. The cashier at the movies told us there was a girl running out of the bathroom, instructing him to call the police. It is unclear if the girl had witnessed the murder or just found the body, but as of now, no arrests have been made. The cameras were disconnected at the time of the murder and an hour after. According to the police, the footage of the witness and possible murderer is unrestrainable.’

“Fuck.” Y/N mutters under her breath. Not only did the news just tell Ethan she had called the cops, but they also confirmed he wasn’t even a suspect. That means...

“Knock, knock!” She heard the pounding on her front door, breaking her out of her thoughts. The voice is familiar, the one she once adored now making her question everything.

“Open up and let’s have a nice chat!”

#dolan twins #ethan dolan #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan au #dolan twins halloween blurbs #halloween prompts #grayson dolan

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peach-jaehyunie · 5 years ago

Text

Everybody Hurts

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader, Jaehyun x OC

Genre: Polyamory, friends with benefits, angst, one-shot

Warnings: swearing, sexual situations, unhealthy friendship

Rating: 18+

Words: 3,490

Jaehyun is just a FWB, or that's what you tell yourself. Seeing other people is okay; you wanted to be uncommitted...right? When Jaehyun hooks up with someone you're close to bad memories gradually resurface.

A/N: Not sure how I feel about this one...just needed to get some angst off my chest.

Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Keeping it casual. Amid a busy work schedule, a desire to be uncommitted until you were sure, and a burgeoning sex drive your love life consisted of booty calls. There were only about 3 regulars: people you went out with, spent time with, and, yes, at the end (or sometimes the beginning) of the night had sex with. Spending the night was optional but comfortable. None of them knew each other, but they knew of the other’s existence.

You kissed Maria goodbye, explaining that you couldn’t stay long because you needed to go home to be with your roommate who was going through a bad break up. On the way home, you went to a bakery and bought some sweets to take to Lara, as well as ordering her favourite meal to be delivered to your shared apartment.

Lara hadn’t texted you, but she should have been home from work by now you thought as you climbed the stairs to the 4th floor. You heard music playing as you unlocked the door and walked into your home—looking up to catch Jaehyun’s eyes as he was balls deep inside your roommate.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” You quickly blurted out, feeling your face heat up uncomfortably, as you ducked out the door. Lara’s eyes never leaving you in your retreat.

You swallowed, trying to process what you had just seen.

“Food delivery,” a young woman called, waking you from your stupor outside your door.

“Thank you,” you said to her as she left.

You sat the food down, and the little confectionary box on top of it all outside the door. You could hear Lara and Jaehyun fucking. In a few minutes you were sitting in a deserted café, the barista was taking your order. You sat facing the window that overlooked the entrance of your apartment complex. It was your day off: you felt sore from rock climbing with Maria, you felt hungry thinking that you probably need that cake more than Lara right about now, but most of all you felt very shitty. Sure, you knew Jaehyun slept with other people, just as you did! But that had never, under any circumstance, prepared you for the day you would walk in on him shagging your roommate. Lara was also, technically, your best friend. You considered that she and Jaehyun have had sex on your couch, but you and Jaehyun never had. It was all okay though because it was just three consenting adults living their life how they please. No harm was done, no one was hurt (well, you were, but that would mean exploring feelings and circumstances you were unsure of). He did nothing wrong. The minutes seemed like hours as you waited for him to leave your house. After an hour you were worried that he might have decided to spend the night. You got up and paid for drinks, relieved to see Jaehyun exiting your apartment building when you next looked out the window. You hoped to find Lara in her room when you got home.

“Hey, sweetie,” she said to you as you walked in.

You internally grimaced seeing her sitting on the sofa—clothed now— drinking a steaming cup of tea. You forced yourself to smile at her.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” You decided to pretend that you didn’t walk in on anything earlier and you were just coming home to console her as originally planned.

“I’m...” a slow smile broke on her face “Actually feeling pretty good.”

Lara patted the seat next to her, and you sat down offering her a hug: she smelled like coconut shampoo and Jaehyun’s cologne. Was it selfish that you just wanted to be in your room right now?

“Oh! I have something for you,” she twisted around to grab an envelope off the coffee table. “Jaehyun dropped by to see you and give you this.”

You opened the envelope: two tickets to the theatre and a little note that read—

Happy early birthday! I know you wanted to see this and it premieres right before your birthday. There are two tickets, I hope you choose me as your date but it’s okay if you don’t.

-Jaehyun

He had signed a messy heart next to his name. You carefully returned the tickets and the note to the envelope.

“It’s a pair of tickets to a play for my birthday.” You told Lara in monotone.

“That’s so sweet! Y/N, when Jaehyun came over to see you, I was such a mess. I felt so bad that I was crying all over him, but I just couldn’t help it. He was so sweet though, and he really comforted me, it was so nice.”

Lara smiled and squeezed your hands. She hesitated before she went on, but she must have been encouraged by the fake smile you gave her.

“Agh, okay, I’m just gonna talk about it! I feel so much better after sleeping with him! I feel like I should maybe just see people casually like you guys do for a while. Just to get back out there, you know?”

No, you didn’t know. You didn’t have multiple relationships to try and break into the dating scene. To your chagrin, Lara began to talk about the sex. She told you all about how it happened (she had kissed him first, and how Jaehyun had been reluctant at first because she was going through a break up), and little things that he had done that her other lovers had never. You felt as if she spoke to you like you hadn’t had sex with Jaehyun multiple times a month for the past year and a half.

“That’s so wonderful, I’m glad you feel so much better. I’m always here if you’re not okay and just want to talk, okay?” You say to her as you part ways in the hallway to your separate rooms. Lies.

Your stomach hurts, maybe from not eating, maybe from feeling stepped on and looked over. You lay in bed, licking your proverbial wounds. “When Jaehyun came over to see you” Yeah, he came over to see me—not you, bitch.

Your stomach churned when you thought of a month ago when you had gotten drunk and told Lara how Jaehyun made you feel. You had told her that he was your favourite—not just in bed, but all around as a person he made you feel happy. You had said that you wanted to still see other people, but you always wanted to see Jaehyun most. She had asked if you loved him. “Of course” had been your reply. But it was not the same type of love that one is accustomed to reading in any two-lovers story. You were not two lovers, you were a myriad of lovers. Each one different, each one bringing something special to the table.

_________________________________

<<Thanks so much, let’s go together!>>

You texted Jaehyun when he asked if you had gotten the envelope. Lara walked around the apartment humming, checking her hair and slipping into her coat.

“You look really nice, where are you headed off to?” You ask her from the kitchen.

“I’m going over to Jaehyun’s, I didn’t want us to keep you up!” She laughed as if she had just been told a very funny joke and shut the front door behind her.

Was it because she was your roommate? Was it because she was your best friend? Why did you hate it so much that Jaehyun was sleeping with Lara. You thought of the model that Jaehyun sometimes saw—you had never met her, but you had seen her pictures in magazines; why didn’t you feel sad about her?

A few days later when you and Lara were watching movies and snacking you realized one reason why:

“Do you think...Jaehyun would ever commit to someone, like do you know if he exclusively dates?” She posed the question to you.

“He has in the past, so I don’t see why not.” You hear yourself say.

You were nothing more than a FWB, you knew that. Someday he was bound to move on with somebody else who was more ready to commit to a socially standard relationship than you.

On Thursday you and Jaehyun met for your usual lunch near work. It was the first time you had seen him since last week.

“Okay, so should we go out to dinner before or after the play on Saturday?”

“After will be kind of late, don’t you think?” You scowled for a second, “Actually, let’s skip dinner, you’re probably busy and I don’t want to take up your whole evening.”

“I’m not busy,” Jaehyun looks across the table at you.

You’re acting weird, and when he tries to put his hand on your knee below the table you pull away saying that the waiter is watching. You feel awful and sad for pushing him away because he did nothing wrong! That’s what you tell yourself every day: they did nothing wrong, but you’re wrong for being upset about it.

——————————————————

“You look really nice.” Jaehyun leans over to kiss you as you settle into the passenger seat. You turn your head at the last second and his lips connect with your cheek. If he is disappointed he hides it well.

“Thank you for this again, I’m really happy I get to see it.” You smile over at him, it feels like an apology and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

It feels like a date...but it also doesn’t. The two of you have been on dates before and the atmosphere you have created is different. You hold him at a distance; a separation that had never been even when you first met. You and Jaehyun chat comfortably about the play and about your days during intermission, but you feel tension between the two of you.

“Did you like the ending?” You walk a step behind him, navigating your way down the icy steps into the parking garage.

“Yes, but they never said all that they felt. If they had communicated more they could have maybe saved themselves from some of the pain and arguing.” Jaehyun doesn’t say this quickly, he considers his words. You wonder if he’s just talking about the play.

“Not everyone communicates really well with everyone else; neither of them could really talk to the other honestly or in an environment where they actually felt like they were speaking and being heard.” You counter it’s sometimes too easy to see the flaws in another relationship and criticize it. The car unlocks, and with a press of a button from 15 steps away Jaehyun has it running.

“I’m hungry, are you sure you don’t want to go out to eat somewhere?” He looks over at you while putting on his seatbelt. “Or we could just go to my place and order food,”

“Um...” you can feel his eyes on you, waiting for an answer. “Let’s just,” you can’t go home with him; you knew Lara had been there many times now. “Go out and eat.”

Jaehyun nodded his head, “What do you have in mind?”

“Oh anything,” you shrugged.

“It’s your birthday present, you can choose anything you want.” He persists. You name the first thing that comes to mind for food, eager for this night to be over but also resenting that you’re not spending more time with him.

“Wait,” Jaehyun stops you as go to open the car door when he pulls up outside your building.

“What?” You turn your head and his lips meet yours. It lasts a few seconds, lips moving against one another and familiar heat builds in your body. You pull away from him, staring out the windshield: lost.

Jaehyun clears his throat, “What changed? What did I do?” He looks over at your profile.

“Lara’s my best friend,” you start, licking your lips and trying to come up with any plausible explanation. “And my roommate. And, ultimately, as much as I love her I don't wish to include her in my sex life.” Yeah, that was kinda part of the reason. What were you going to say; that it made you feel shitty?

“That’s it?” Jaehyun finally says.

“Yeah,” That’s it.

“Do you want me to not see her anymore?” He’s not looking at you anymore.

“No!” Yes. You fake a smile, “I want you and Lara and you and whoever to have a great time. But for me, Lara is a little too close to home. It makes me uncomfortable, so I’m removing myself from the equation.” You wave your hand as if the whole situation is really nothing to you. As if it hadn’t made you lose sleep.

“So you’re not asking me to choose between the two of you?”

“No!” You insist, he sounded annoyed when he just spoke.

“I don’t get how this is different from when it’s other people: I sleep with other people and you sleep with other people, and it’s never been a problem.” He says, suddenly sounding defensive.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not exactly passing myself out among your friends. I already told you it makes me uncomfortable, so I think I can choose not to fuck someone who’s fucking my best friend.” You jerk the car door open, nearly falling out as your foot missed the curb.

“So you are saying ‘choose between us’!” Jaehyun calls after you, opening his door as you slam yours.

“It’s just sex, Jaehyun!” You tell him shrilly. He stands by the driver's side door, watching as you try and hold it together on the small sidewalk. “You can get it anywhere and from anyone, and I just don’t want to anymore with you!” If you say another word tears will come.

“Nights like tonight? They were never ‘just sex’. Hanging out and talking was never about just sex. Our weekly lunches were never about sex at all! It was about us enjoying each other’s company, and finding each other attractive.” Jaehyun scuffs his shoes against the pavement, shaking his head and looking away from you for a moment before speaking again: “Or was that not how you saw it? If I stop—“

“No!” A coldness rises in your stomach, and your eyes burn as they become blurry with tears. “I don’t know what I want, but I know that Lara and I aren’t sleeping with the same guy again.” You sob, turning away and hurrying into your building.

In the elevator, you give over to the tears of humiliation, anger, but mostly self-pity. FWBs don’t ask you to stop hooking up with other FWBs—or at least not any that you know of. Cut the ties before you really get hurt. They’re not wrong, you’re just too attached. That’s what you remind yourself. That’s why Jaehyun was getting upset, you tried to reason.

“What happened?l Lara quickly says when you walk through the door with tears streaming down your face. It all felt like a bad movie, except it was your life.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong—“ Lara quickly got up off the couch to try and console you. No matter your rush she reaches you before you can slam your bedroom door behind yourself.

“Don’t touch me!” You cry, pushing her hands away “Learn to be unhappy for five minutes like the rest of us, you selfish bitch.”

As soon as you are alone in your room you sink to the floor, sobbing. They don’t ever choose you. At first, it was Minho in high school: he had been your crush over a year...and then Lara had slept with him. But you couldn’t blame that on Lara; Minho just didn’t like you that way. Or when you, Lara, and your at-the-time boyfriend, Peter, had all been living together and after about 5 months Lara came sobbing to you one night because she felt guilty about having been carrying on an affair with Peter for the last 2. But you couldn’t blame that on Lara: Peter had been a shitty boyfriend and preyed upon Lara’s emotional vulnerability at the time. Did you believe that? Or did you think that she might have thrown herself at them because she was feeling sorry for herself. Where her actions self-pity for the sake of self-pity, or sabotages of your happiness disguised as self-pity.

You laid on your bed, curling up plagued with painful memories of the past. Why did you sweep it under the rug every time? Maybe it was because Lara cried more, and begged for forgiveness while saying she felt so guilty and scared about losing you as a friend. No one else treated her with enough kindness, but she told you that you did. Maybe it was because she knew your every secret, and every misdeed and always accepted each one with open and loving arms.

“It’s not fair,” you mutter to yourself, straggling tears running down your face. Lara’s pain was always treated as more painful. When she was hurt, somehow you would always get hurt too. She couldn’t be alone or unloved, but if you felt that way it was okay as long as someone was with Lara and she was loved and given attention. It felt twisted, but losing Lara felt like losing part of yourself. You would apologize for calling her a ‘selfish bitch’ and she would cry telling you how much you hurt her.

...And once again, your feelings would be kept to yourself because maybe if you told Lara how she made you feel you would hurt her. That was the crazy thing, even your feelings would be made about her.

—————————————————

You love your days and nights with Maria and Junha, but it’s not the same without Jaehyun. You miss him: the lunch dates, the regular dates, talking about shared interests.

Lara decides the casual sex isn’t for her soon after you tell her that you’re not seeing Jaehyun anymore. The convenient timing of this admission leaves you bitter. At least she could have made your pain and inner turmoil worthwhile and seen him for a few more weeks. It’s a bad circus trick, and you’re the sad clown that nobody likes, or wants to look at. You spend your days trying to make up for saying hurtful things to Lara. She says she’s sorry and didn’t mean to hurt your friendship or relationship with Jaehyun. You’re not sure whether or not to believe her anymore. You want boundaries in your friendship. The unhealthiness of the relationship between you and Lara was gradually eating away at you.

——————————————————-

It’s a Tuesday in March when you’re sitting in a familiar restaurant eating a familiar lunch. Your phone dings: a text from Lara of photos of her dinner last night with a friend from work.

“Is this seat taken?” A familiar voice asks.

Jaehyun gestures to the chair across from you, his expression soft and hopeful.

“No—it’s not taken.” The moments before you spoke you felt as if you hadn’t breathed. Your lungs welcome air after the shock of seeing him again—it shouldn’t be a shock; this was a familiar place for both of you. He had sat in that chair at this table, across from you before.

The waiter brings a side dish that you ordered.

“Will you be having anything?” They ask Jaehyun. Jaehyun’s eyes search for yours, and you give him an almost imperceptible nod of your head. Jaehyun waits for you to finish eating before he speaks; you can’t avoid his questions by chewing. Not that you want to avoid them, but sometimes you weren’t sure how you felt anymore.

“How have you been?” He’s slightly tense, which is a rarity.

“Very well, and you?” Very formal, and colder than you had meant to be.

“Fine,” there’s an awkward silence. You can tell he wants to say something, but he distracts himself with eating for a moment. He looks as if he has decided to speak again, but changes his mind at the last minute.

“I, um...l—“ Jaehyun mumbles something into his bowl.

“What?” The word falls lightly from your lips, not wanting to mishear him.

“I chose you.” He looks across at you. A frown forms by habit on his face and he must realize because he quickly changed his expression to something more stoic.

He must be waiting for you to speak, but you don’t. You don’t know what you feel, you don’t know how much is okay to feel. No one had ever chosen you; what happened now? Did you choose him back?

“I wanted you to ask me to choose you; I wanted you to say you wanted me, too. I called Lara up the day after and told her that she and I couldn’t see each other again.”

“You broke it off with Lara?” You’re a bit stunned, had she lied about that?

“I still choose you.”

#jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun fanfic #jung jaehyun #jaehyun smut #jaehyun nct #jung yuno #jaehyun angst #nct angst #jaehyun fwb #nct scenarios

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whats-the-story-tc · 4 years ago

Text

9th of October, 2020

"The One with the Cards Laid Bare"

[INCREDIBLY LONG, SORRY FOR CLOGGING THE TAG]

There were very tense energies in our classroom before V's double class. We already knew she'd cried today, we knew where she'd be working from other classes, so we all knew what would come, and it still was bad. One of the boys said he heard that she hopes we're not all angry at her and that we won't hate her for her decision. There was not an inch of anger or hatred in any of us, just heartbreak. We knew how much we'd cry seeing her leave. We were afraid of this goodbye. But it had to come eventually. The last class she'll ever teach. The last two lessons she'll ever have.

She was late. Only a couple minutes, but seeing she's always on time, or even a bit early, it was worrying. I walked outside to find her, and when I did, I saw her, coming up the stairs with two boys from the class, fresh back from lunch. Immediately as she saw me, she raised her index finger and said: "No." I didn't really understand it, until she continued: "I'm not gonna cry. I'm trying to go at least two minutes without crying." My heart was in shambles, and nothing even happened yet.

She started by telling us an e-mail is not how she wanted us to find out. She wanted to tell us herself, but not until today, probably not until the end of class, even though she's known for quite a long time she wanted to leave. She didn't tell us, because she wanted these last days not to be chaotic, so we could still focus and do our best in class. There were signs, though. And I should have known. There's one in basically every post I wrote this year. Funny thing is, when I told you about how she was with the girl from the other class and I thought something was up, it was only my gut feeling. She hadn't told them yet. Only in the last 20 minutes of that double class.

She also told us who will be replacing her, just to get the professional part quickly over with. V said she expects us to treat them fairly, even if she won't be here to check on us. We keep this promise. Most of the time, it works.

Being a teacher doesn't pay well, and here, in our country, the profession itself is not respected the way it should be. 10 years of experience in the field means nothing, she said. The new education system is horrible, unbearable, and she's had enough of feeling like she's in a toxic relationship. Not with us, with teaching. She said she used to feel very anxious when she got here, and by now I know what she hadn't told us in that moment, that she still doesn't feel good thinking about school. She has to leave for her own sake, even though she feels incredibly guilty about it. Even though she'll miss us.

She said, through tears, constantly stopping to take a deep breath and gather her thoughts, that teaching is something she was planning to do her whole life long, but she has to step back now. Even though she has "the seniors, standing before their graduation exams, [us], whom [she's] bonded with", she can't do it anymore. And when one of the girls asked her if she really did love us, she said: "Would I have stayed so long if I didn't?"

We spent long minutes in class discussing the education system, and when I said I didn't know about something that supposedly came from the weaker one of the theatre universities here at home, V was surprised that I hadn't read it. She called me a nickname again, a new one. I've been babygirl and I've been fairy bug before, but not once have I been the name that translates to "my life". Spanish speakers, it's like when you guys say mi vida to someone you love. That's what V called me. I don't remember her ever having called someone that in class.

Between classes, Bandana Friend, who was sick, joined us via video call to speak to V, as she really wanted to say goodbye, at least like this. I stood right beside V as they spoke, out of the camera's sight, unlike my classmates, constantly goofing off in the background, making both V and my friend laugh a little. As I stood there, I couldn't help but marvel at V's eyes from up close, in the light. I don't think I've ever seen a more enchanting eye colour before, and I find nearly every pair of eyes I see pretty. Seriously, I wasn't overexaggerating in any of my posts. If you once catch her eye, you won't know when to stop looking.

After a while, though, my classmates got a bit much, still during the call, and there I was, gathering bravery and doing something I've never done before. I stroked V's arm for a second or two, like I've wanted to so many times before, to show sympathy. She didn't even look at me, didn't even flinch, she probably knew who was touching her. And, seeing how unresponsive, how calm she was about it, I couldn't help but think: "Is this something I could've done this whole time?"

Before the second class with her started, Debate Friend called her a derivative of her first name (though she made sure to say Miss with it), and V just told her not to be rude. Hours pass, and V lets her (and us all, indirectly) call her by her first name, which is something we're still adapting to, but I'm rushing too far ahead, let's slow down a little.

The second class went well, she wasn't crying anymore, on the contrary. We laughed a lot, she told us her honest opinion on a lot of us, who asked her what she thinks of them, and gave advice if needed. I didn't ask. I figured that if she wants to tell me something, she will. Then a very crazy chain of events happened.

She looked like she was gonna tear up again, and I couldn't sit and watch anymore. I stood up and walked right in front of her, not daring to ask for a hug, but hoping she'll get the message with arm gestures. It took her a bit, but when she did, she couldn't help but yell something that I would translate to: "[Specs] is jumping me!". The word she used here is something usually used in a romantic or flirty context. (Translation was never my forte.) You can probably imagine the laughter, and also my face as I realise that not even on her last day could she go without sassing me at least once.

But then. Oh, then. The next thing I hear as I turn towards her is as she says: "C'mere, Little Me." and before I know it, I find myself sobbing in her arms again, and thinking about how this happened. She seemed taken aback by or uncomfortable with the comparison the last time we spoke about it in March, before the quarantine. When did she accept it, or how? Now as I re-read that post, as I'm writing this one... could the turning point have been me calling her my sister? I had so many questions, but all I could do was cry.

Class was nearing the end when I finally managed to stop sobbing and ask her one thing I've been meaning to for ages: what her tattoos mean. "How much should I go into detail?" she asked with sparkling eyes. She wasn't even surprised I knew about the two on her shoulder blades — but I was, when she motioned with her fingers she actually had three. Before telling me about them, she jokingly said something along the lines of "I'm not gonna strip for you" (as all 3 are covered by clothes), and me being me, I immediately threw my hands up, face probably red, and said: "Nononononono, obviously [not]!"

Funny thing is, the two on her shoulder blades are actually quotes from the last book she had us read, the last thing we discussed with her in class on Wednesday. So this is what she meant when she said she had personal connections to it! After she told me which parts they're from, she jokingly added "Very English teacher [of me]...", to which I just laughed and responded "Yeah, very."

By the time I'm writing this, I already had to listen to the headmaster, one of V's replacements, as he bragged about knowing of these two tattoos. Heh. That's cute. It's still 2-1 to me, sir. Not only have I seen them partially before, which you said you haven't, but I also know about the one she most definitely never told you about. And the one I'm most definitely not gonna tell you guys about. Sorry. Some things just have to stay between V and I.

"Also, no one noticed that this is the first time since I came here that I've worn a band T-shirt!" she complains to me jokingly. "Well, I was used to your graphic shirts, so I didn't think much of it," I reply. She's very enthusiastic in telling me what exactly is on it, without me even asking. This woman put on a shirt that essentially disses Christianity — in a religious school. Unbelievable. I love her.

Somewhere around that time, I asked her to let me walk with her to the teacher's lounge, Bookworm Friend convinced her to take a photo with our squad (which had basically everyone I know, my own father included, telling me we look identical), I stroked her arm again (I no longer remember what the reason was, but she still must've felt it pretty natural, seeing she didn't react), and like 3/4 of the class came to hug V goodbye. Meanwhile, another girl I've been classmates with for ages, but never particularly liked, hugged me to try and comfort me. It caught me off-guard, but I've never felt more like our class is a community.

People from other classes came to talk as she walked outside, but I waited until she was alone, and most probably so was she. She promised, likely knowing that I wanted to talk privately, so we didn't leave until it was just the two of us left.

"Come, Little Me," she said again, as we got going. She liked this phrase so much that she repeated it in English. "Mini Me." Then I found out why the English. Turns out, her native English speaker boyfriend, who she name-dropped like it's second nature, as if she's telling a story to a friend (she's so whipped for him, it's adorable), knows all about this comparison, and had a good laugh at it. He knows who I am. I was important enough to mention at home to her boyfriend, something I always wondered about but never dared to ask her. Tears.

No, really, actual tears. I've told you before, I don't support confessing love to your teachers while you're still their student (I'd wait a year after graduation if I were you), and especially if you're underage, and I myself wouldn't do it either. And I didn't. My confession was a little different. My voice breaking from tears, I told her the one thing I wanted her to know most. "This is not how I wanted to tell you, but I've never got more (in life) from anyone..." The answer? The old classic. "Come on."

"[Specs], you really need to get more self-confidence" she tells me, as that's about the only thing I still need to get me where I want to be. "I have to," I reply. And I do. I'm trying. Funny thing, self-confidence. It comes up in both the first and the last conversation we have as student and teacher.

We get up, stand at the top of the stairs. Soon it's time to go. The memories get a bit hazy here, but I'll try my best.

She tells me she expected me to react this way, and was afraid of it, seeing what happened in January. I immediately corrected her. In January, I cried because seeing my classmates hurting and my teachers clueless and lost hurt me, whereas this time, it's personal. She doesn't say anything. I think she understands. I ask her if she'll be happy in this new situation, and she says she hopes so. Only time will tell.

"I probably won't be available at a moment's notice all the time, but if you ever need me, you'll find me," she reassures me.

My English (language) teacher walks outside in that moment, and starts talking to V like I'm not even there. V and I are both a bit uncomfortable with the interruption, but the teacher seems pretty fine with it. Fucking hell, woman, insensitivity much?

Anyway. When she's gone is probably the moment we realise this is it. That this is where it's over.

She reaches out, both verbally and physically, and there we are, hugging again, both of us stroking the other's back in an effort to try and comfort the other. "You always have your friends," she tells me. "Get a good rest," she adds somewhere during that moment. Then we pull away.

I don't reach out, I don't dare to. As soon as I step out of her arms, it's her, who takes a hold of my hand. Not clinging, just a gentle, meaningful hold. I have no idea what she was saying, as I focused on the fact that we were only bloody holding hands in plain sight — and another thing.

V's eyes were red, and full of tears.

She hadn't shed a single tear for the past 20 minutes or so. Yet there she stands before me, physically still holding on to me, and crying. That was all me. And all of a sudden, I understand everything. I no longer have the guts to deny that she loved me all this time.

That's where it ends. No grandiose confessions, nothing loud, nothing overly passionate. Just a scene of two women standing hand-in-hand, showing their true colours and not holding anything back for the first time since they've met, before Miss V, the teacher, forever disappears behind a glass door.

These two women, mentioned above, are the ones who laid the foundation for two friends, two equals to meet anew. They are just getting to know each other all over again as we speak, setting the tone for something to start that could possibly last a long time. And I don't think there's anything that could feel better than that.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

#tc #tcc #teacher crush community #female tc #female teacher crush

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hopetofantasy · 4 years ago

Text

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT - Nona Janssens

Other podcast transcripts: Veerle Dejaeger, Nora Dari, Nona Janssens, Nathan Naenen This is one of the literal transcripts of the wtFOCK cast podcasts by Ender Scholtens (’Gossip Guy’). You can watch it on YouTube with my contributed English subtitles as well. I didn’t put in any of the sounds, movements, hesitations or laughter, just the plain dialogue. Heads up: they never or barely mention the show, because they’re not allowed to (contract restrictions)!

--- “Nona Janssens: Do Tinder relationships work?” ---

Source: Gossip Guy - 1st of May 2020 (Podcast via webcam)

Nona Janssens: Hello! Ender Scholtens: Hey! Everything okay? Nona: Yes, you? E: Excellent, even. Nona: Should I sit somewhere else? E: You really don't have to. But do you have earbuds with a good mic? There is a bit of an echo. Nona: I always lose everything, I lost all my earbuds. I have some, I'll try them. E: Suspense... Nona: No, doesn't work, right? E: It actually does. Shall we get started? There are a bunch of fun questions. Nona: Exciting! E: Really exciting, even. Alright. Waddup people, welcome to a new episode of 'Gossip Guy’ podcast. My name is Ender Scholtens and today I’m here with Nona Janssens. Waddup, Nona, everything alright? Nona: Hallo, yes, yes. And you? E: Certainly, I'm happy you're in the podcast. For the people who don’t know you, could you introduce yourself? Where could they know you from? Nona: I play in a tv series for young people, whose name I cannot say. E: And we're not gonna talk about today. Nona: Exciting. No, yeah. But I don't think you know me from something else. E: Yeah, okay. No. Cool. I guess it's good summary, indeed. Nona: Yeah. E: So, I asked the people on Insta for some questions about you- or rather, for you. Nona: I'm very curious... E: Yes, you thought we wouldn't get a lot of them? Nona: No! I was seriously thinking: people are going to laugh at me, when he doesn't receive any questions. E: There are *still* some laughing at you, though. Nona: Ah, yeah. E: No, no, no! But why did you think that? Nona: Yeah, I don't know. No, I'm curious. I think- Yeah... I don't know which questions they would- E: The kind of questions they would ask you? Nona: No. E: Now, I received- Around 200 questions. A lot about topics we're not gonna discuss. The C-word... And a tv series... Nona: Yes. Yes. E: Anyways, someone asked - since you're clearly an actress: 'Did you get any drama education'? Nona: No. E: No? Nona: I've always done 'Diction' at the music school and stuff like that. E: Ok, cool. Nona: And in high school, I studied Modern- I mean, General Education. There I could pick four optional hours of theatre per week. So I did that. But I never went a 'real' drama school. Even though, I was very much interested, I did choose a different 'direction'. Just to have certainty. Although, I want to act for real in the future. E: Okay, okay, cool, I get that. Which 'direction' did you study in high school? Nona: Human sciences. With cultural education as an option. E: Okay. And 'Diction & drama', I did that too. All through high school. Loved it. Nona: That's fun, right? E: Yeah, had a blast! Nona: Yeah, it's nice. E: Do you have any hobbies beside that? Since I received questions about youth movements? I think some people of *your* youth movement asked me questions? Is that possible? Nona: I don't know, tell me their names. E: I'm not going to. But you're in a youth movement? Nona: Yes, yes. I'm in the 'Chiro'. E: Okay. Apparently you're playing a 'De Mol' (= 'The Mole') game at the moment? Nona: Ah, yes, we're playing 'De Mol' right now. [A popular reality game tv show]. I've seen * and she wanted to know who my 'mole' was. E: Okay! Nona: I'm not... going to say that... That wouldn't be good... If I already revealed my 'mole'. E: Sounds very logical. Ah, here. Let's ask this question to be done with it, it's been asked a lot: 'Are you single?' Nona: No, no, I have- I have a partner. E: Okay. Is this something that can be revealed to the public, otherwise I'll cut this part out? Nona: Yeah, of course, that's totally okay. Doesn't matter that much. E: No, that's usually something I ask beforehand. But I forgot. Not everyone likes to talk about relationships. Which I get. Been with your boyfriend for a long time? Nona: Yes, almost two years now. E: Wow, solid! Cool. Nona: Great, huh? We're doing well, right? E: Yeah, you go! Fantastic! Here, other people who are interested in your hobbies: 'Did you ever dance?' Nona: Yes, I did. I've done a lot- a lot in my life. I did dance, Chiro... Now not much extra... E: Dance, Chiro, music school... Were you one of those kids in primary school, whose week was filled to the brim? Nona: Yes, indeed. I did some sports too. Yet, every two years, I got bored and changed to something else. E: I'm laughing, but I was exactly the same. I've done- What did I- Tennis, hockey, volleyball, golf. I did a lot. Nona: Same, every time something different. E: What's your favorite? The one you really loved doing? Nona: Dancing, I did the longest. Still love doing it. I don't really do it anymore in a fitness or something... Always been the most fun. But I did every sport you'd ever imagine. For example, horseback riding. After a few weeks, I thought 'no'. 'No thanks!' At least I tried it. Oh god... I don't even know why. I don't like horses anyways. Still... Wanted to do it. Probably since my friends did it. E: Just checking where the hype of typical 'horseback girls' came from? Nona: Exactly. Didn't get it! E: Honestly... I don't get it. In movies, it always looks so cool. A man on a horse. Yet, in real life? People laugh if you say: "I do horseback riding". Nona: A 'horseback girl'. E: Although, it's fucking cool in movies. At least I think so. Nona: I think so too. Yet, it's not my thing. E: Prince Charming on his white horse, must've said the same thing, right? "I'm going to my riding lessons". People laugh. Still, everyone wants a Prince Charming. Nona: Yes! E: You said you wanted to be- You didn't get any drama education, but you want to act in the future? Do you have international ambitions, something in foreign countries? Hollywood, for example? Is that the dream? Or do you want to stay in Belgium? Nona: I would be happy already if I ever succeeded in Belgium. E: Yeah, I thought- My question was all over the place. Since everyone would like to succeed here, right? Nona: Yes, but- I'm not that fluent in a lot of languages! Not my greatest strength. I might be able to do it, but then I'll probably keep thinking: 'Is this correct?' or 'How should I say this?' I would get sick due to stressing too much! So I don't know if that's in my future. E: And are there any productions in Belgium, where you thought: 'Cool, I want to act in that?' Because I- There have been recent movies like 'Patser' and all that. I was really impressed. 'That's from Belgium?! That's fucking cool! So good!' Nona: Yes... E: Has there been a recent project, where you wanted to say the same thing? 'Wow, that's really cool to join'? Nona: Yes, right now, for instance 'De Dag', 'De Twaalf', ... Those kind of shows are great. If I could play in a series like that, I would be super happy. Yeah, those things certainly interest me... Super fun. E: Funny coincidence, I've interviewed one of the actors of 'De Dag' - Nabil - for a new Netflix series. Nona: Really? E: Yeah. Honestly, I was a bit starstruck in the beginning. My first question was really... bleh! I stumbled over my words. I hope they'll edit it to make it seem more spontaneous. Exceptionally friendly dude, by the way! Seriously. Nona: Yeah? E: Every time- That's- For example, we're seeing each other for the first time. We're 'meeting'. In a way. It's a risk every time. Because you don't know... How someone really is. You never know. You see an online persona, someone in a series, or whatever, it's always... Hard to tell... how they'll be in real life. Nona: Certainly in a- You know their character isn't real, but still, if you meet them in real life, you keep thinking that they'll be somewhat similar. E: That's- Nona: It is. E: Indeed, indeed. Nona: Weird, huh? Yes. E: Do you think it's difficult for a lot of actors? Like, for instance, Game Of Thrones. Have you seen that? I don't know if you did. But the actor playing King Joffrey, a boy who's gotten hate in the show from episode one, received a lot of hate *in real life* too. Nona: That's weird, huh? E: Do you think that happens a lot? Nona: With 'Thuis' too, if they do something in the soap, I've heard that they get verbally attacked on the street. I didn't get that. My character gets a lot of hate, but I haven't gotten any of that, fortunately. E: Not in real life? Nona: No, but it happens often, you know, people really think you're like that... I've struggled with it, though. That if I go somewhere, I want to show *even more* that I'm different from my character. E: Okay. So you're faking a personality right now? That you- Nona: Oh, no! No, no, no, I'm not doing that. But yeah... E: I'm just joking. Nona: Imagine. No. E: I know that. Do you experience difficulties in separating the art from the artist? Not only acting, but music too? For example, 'Justin Bieber is awesome' and then every bit of his music is awesome? Or 'I don't really like that artist, so his music is bad'? Nona: No... E: No? Nona: No, I don't have that... It's not because they put out a bad song... If they produce a bad song, even if it's a good artist, I'll still say it. Then, then... Yeah... E: No, okay, alright. Are you a 'Belieber', by the way? Nona: No! E: No? Nona: No, not really no. E: I am, that's why I'm asking. Or actually, I was more of a 'Belieber' during 'Purpose' and now with the new album... That's why I asked you, because I really *wanted* the album to be good. And then- Nona: Do you have that experience? Or do you separate it? E: The moment I heard the question for the first time - I've used it multiple times in my podcasts, it's an interesting question - I actually had to think... 'Am I listening to the music or the artist?' Am I- As... With someone like 'Russ' - a rapper that gets plenty of hate, the rap world hates the dude or idk - it might be easy to say "Fuck him and his music", while you could still hate the artist and like his music. Or love a song. So I never said 'Fuck that dude', but it made me think: 'Okay, do I listen to the music or the artist?' Nona: I don't have that. E: No? Nona: No. Great right? E: Cool. Super, even. Nona: But I really don't have an artist that I'm crazy about. I listen to various genres, so I've never experienced that. E: Even better! Nona: Great, huh? E: Nice, nice. Someone asked to talk about social media. A topic I often explore in my podcasts. But... I don't want to drag it out. Since people made me aware of that fact. However, it's still an interesting topic and certainly for someone in a position like yours. Who gets a lot of attention on the socials. How do you deal with that? Do you feel like there are a lot of eyes on you? 'I should be careful of what I post'? How do you feel about it? Nona: I have... mostly... I'm like... There are people who always take good pics, everything they post is amazing, and I'm like: 'I can't!" I want to try, but I don't know how! Someone told me I should do more with my social media, ask more questions, stuff like- E: Engagement with your audience? Nona: Yes! Things like that. But most of the time, I'll think of the people in my small town, who will laugh at me if I try to do that! Even if I do it as fancy as the others. I- I- I want to, but I don't seem to succeed! E: I get that. I have- What I personally- Last time, I saw on your profile that you sometimes - since I put it in my story for the questions - have beautiful, serious pictures. The one in black-and-white? Fucking cool! Because of you, I've posted a similar picture. Nona: Really?! E: Yeah, it's *really* difficult for me. Sorry, I can't keep my face straight. I laugh all the time. If the photographer asks me: 'Give me a serious look.' I can't! Nona: Yeah. E: Do you have the same? Can you keep a straight face in front of the camera? Nona: I try to, because I keep thinking about how the pictures might turn out. E: So you have the goal in mind? Nona: I do. I laugh too, though, but I try to stop it. E: What you said about the people in your town: they might think it's weird if you're into social media... But it's not a secret anymore that you've... acquired some level of fame, right? So isn't posting on your socials considered normal? More accepted? Nona: Yeah, maybe... Yet, I still don't know what to do. I'm not good at that! I don't know *what* to post. Or something. Yeah, I should research that... E: Searching what you want to do. Nona: Yes. E: Okay, nah. Okay! A deep question... You don't have to have an answer. I wouldn't even know how to answer this myself. 'If you could turn back time, is there something you would change? What you did?' Heavy, huh?! Nona: Yes, never thought about that. E: Maybe to this morning, then I could ask Nabil the first question without stuttering. That's it. Nona: But yeah... What could I change? No, actually... If you do something wrong, I still think you learned a lesson. I couldn't think of something. Maybe later, when this is done. Not now. E: Like 'Ah, shit, shouldn't have said that'? Nona: Yes, indeed. E: I have the same feeling with a tv program that will be released soon. I totally forgot I filmed that. It's about... It'll be clear, when it appears online. But I totally forgot that I filmed it. I wasn't thinking then about the things I said and what they'll do with it. Not that I said mean things, but personal stuff. And then suddenly, you realize that it'll appear online. Literally everyone could see this. That's crazy. Maybe I shouldn't have said this now, but when it gets released. In a clear way. But I get what you mean. Like 'shit...' Nona: I have that *often*. Or when you were little, during fights, not knowing what to say until you're done. "Ooooh, I could have said that!" E: That moment. That moment! When you're in your bed and think: "Shit! That's it!" Nona: And it's a good one!? "Oooooh, I should have said this!" E: Usually the comebacks you see in movies. "If I had said this, it would've been a movie scene". Some time ago, I saw an online video about a so-called UFO. Every so often, there is always a video circulating.Always fucking vague, I don't know why we still don't have high quality cameras to capture a UFO in detail. But someone here is asking: 'Do you think there's life beyond Earth?' Nona: On the one hand, I don't think it's possible. On the other hand, we can't be the only living things that exist. E: Why do you think it's *not* possible? Nona: Yeah... yeah, I don't know. E: Because we haven't seen it?! Nona: Yes, it would be a coincidence if we're the only living things, but on the other side I think- I mean, I don't believe the vague UFO images. I *really* don't believe that. But I mean... Some other life forms, not aliens or stuff like that. E: Rather some kind of microbes that live somewhere? Nona: Yes. E: Okay. Nona: Yeah, things like that. You? E: So... not something with the same brain capacity as us? Living the same way? Nona: I think it's- I think- Yeah, not at the moment. If it does exist, then I would- Ah yeah. I don't know. Difficult. What do you think? E: Of course, it's all speculation! I can't say: you're wrong! What the fuck do I know? Nona: Yeah, nah. E: That's why I think it's interesting! But it's weird to assume that we- Do you know those videos were they start with 'the Earth' and then zoom out? The Earth compared to the sun. The sun compared to this, this and this. When you realize: 'WTF, how fucking small is Earth, how fucking small are we?' Then I can't imagine that in the whole entire universe, we're the only ones. Nona: It can't be. E: With the same intellectual level as we are. Nona: Ah, yeah... E: Crazy to think about it. Weird, right? Only two o'clock and we're already theorizing. I think it would be cool if... That's something I want to experience: the first interaction with extraterrestrial life. If that ever happens, that would be phenomenal. Nona: That would be... wow... E: That's probably something that would bring together humanity. Realizing that we, as humans, are one. We have to- There are others out there. I don't know...it's... By the way, there are a lot of compliments in here. About you. About your acting. I'll send them to you. They're adorable. Nona: Aaawww... Thank you! E: Something I forgot to ask you: you said you've done Human Sciences? So follow-up question: What are you studying right now? Are you a student? Nona: Yes, I study 'Remedial Education'. E: Okay, why that choice? Nona: I studied 'Criminology' last year in Leuven. But... Yeah, I think it's a shame, but I simply... Don't. Study. E: Okay. Nona: Seriously, I can get really angry at myself, but I don't do anything for school. If I get an assignment, then I'll start it at the due date. I want to change, but I can't. So I didn't do anything that year, still had loads of fun. E: As you should! Nona: So now I do 'Remedial Education'... And there... I have the end trajectory of 'Applied Juvenile Criminology'. Still in the same field and yet, the studies are far more interesting. I think it's - I'm *so* happy I changed. Oh yeah, really, I am. I need that, knowing what I'm studying for. I didn't have that in 'Criminology'. Now, in 'Remedial Education', everything we learn there, I know why. There are goals, why we learn it. I can remember the materials better. E: So, what's the goal exactly? Do you have an idea what you want to be later on? Nona: No. E: No? Nona: I still want to be an actress. If it doesn't happen, then I don't know what... E: Yes, yes. Nona: Actually, within the 'direction' I study, almost every job is... somewhat interesting. I could be happy in a lot of jobs, I guess. E: Okay. Yeah, I'm asking in detail, because there are people listening to this podcast, who will have to make a choice in one or two years about what to study. That's why it's always interesting to ask a student- Nona: I would like to say something! For me, the exams are easier now, but you'll have way more work in university college than university. Since it seems easy, the way I told- E: No, no. Nona: You'll have to work harder in university college, more assignments, but for me, the exams are just easier now. My study has a six-week-system. [New modules with finals every six weeks]. So less tough. That's better for me. I can remember more. In short, I'm working harder for school. Not to minimize- E: No, no, no. Nona: As if I don't do anything... E: What you said about the purpose, why you study those topics. What the goal is of a certain class. Is it because they are less abstract graphs or something? Or literally: 'this class is named...' I don't know which classes you take, but that it's... Nona: No, there are similar classes to those I had last year, but... Just... What we learn, is way more specific. Less 'general'. In uni, we had 'History’. I get the importance, but you don't do anything with that, later on. Now, when we have 'Psychology', those are exactly the things we'll apply. Useful for the future. E: Okay, super. Super. Now a question, that could piggy back onto the previous topic. A girl - also an actress - asks: 'Would you drop out, if you got a role, where the combination studying-acting isn't possible?' Nona: Yeah, I thought about that. E: Thought about it? Nona: I got lucky before, I was able to combine both. I don't always have to be in class. Self study is achievable. On my own. If attendance is not required, naturally. So yeah... I've thought... That's really... You have to think long and hard about that. Then I might think: 'That's my dream!'. But afterwards, when the series or project is done, I've got nothing. I didn't do drama school either. I wouldn't have a diploma. E: You have to have a back-up, right? Nona: Hopefully, you can keep going. If not too much time passed by, I think you can go back to school? I hope so. I think I would, if I know I can come back to where I left off. I would. E: Okay, nah, cool. I guess people our age, who do something creative, might think a lot about dilemmas like that. Nona: Yes. E: They say the same thing. That they would like to finish their studies, but if the opportunity of a lifetime arises... I get that. I had a good question, but I scrolled past it. Quite a few people are asking the same thing. I once posed this question to someone during a podcast and now it keeps coming back. They ask: "If you had to describe yourself in one word..." "What would that word be?" One word is not much. Someone else is asking three words. Let's say three words. That's such a yearbook question. Nona: Questions you need to answer often and I still don't know the answer to them. E: You should have it ready in your head. Nona: Always be prepared. E: That's like: "What's your positive and negative quality?" I never know! Nona: Yes, honestly, negative - no problem. But positive? E: Really bad, right? Quite a few people feel that way. "I'm bad at this, at this." "And now something positive?" Nona: "Euh, yeah..." Nah, I am... I think... Usually... Spontaneous. E: That was very spontaneous of you! Nona: Should it be a deep answer? No, right? E: No. Nona: Friendly. And... Two, is that enough? Or still going for three? E: Thats... You may stop at two, for me. Nona: I can say a lot of negative stuff. E: We'll try and keep it positive. Nona: Lazy... E: Nah, let's be positive! Some questions make me wonder... Funny, though! "What do you think 'week animals' (= mollusca) do in the weekend?" Okay... The same person as the funny question, but this one is important for me. I often have a discussion about the topic, with my mom. "What's your favorite chips flavor?" Nona: Super bad, but I only like paprika chips. E: Paprika, I can live with that. Salt is the most boring variant there is. Sorry to those who prefer salt... Nona: Yeah... E: You like that too? Nona: I could eat it. Yet, if I have had to choose, of course I'll go with paprika! E: How can I stop this podcast... ? No, no. Nona: Paprika, no doubt about it! And you? E: I like plenty of variants. There aren't many I don't like. That's why I think: there are so much flavors. A world of choices. Large shelves. Filled with options. And then you go for salt?! Nona: Yeah... But I meant, not- At parties, for example, you can't go wrong? E: Fact. Big chance that people go for any chips, if they wanted to. Most of them will. Nona: That's important. E: True. My tactic in the past, when going on a bus trip or camp or school trip - I don't know what, I took chips with me that nobody would like, so I could eat it all by myself. Nona: You liked them yourself? Otherwise, that's not clever. E: I'm not a picky eater. I could eat salt chips. I just think if you have the choice, then why go for that? Yet, there are still people who go for basic. I get that. That happens. So, Pringles - Sour cream and onion. The smell alone, people hate it. I love it. Your face! Nona: Never tried it, but I don't know if I want to. E: Yeah, I love it, it's great. Quite a few who hate it. Nona: With so many flavors, once you open the bag, I'll... It can smell *so* bad. E: When I was little and tried to hide my chips from my parents, I would put the bag behind the sofa. Then my parents would enter: "Are you eating chips?" Nona: Chips is one of the hardest foods to hide. E: The crunch is too loud. Nona: Opening the bag... Yeah, then it'll be too late. E: Exactly. Again, hobby questions. I don't know... How many do you have? Did you put pics of it online? You seem to like skiing? Nona: Yeah, yeah, yes, the most fun one. E: Okay. Nona: It's amazing. E: How long have you been doing it? Every year... ? Nona: From age four. E: Cool! Me too. Same. Nona: Yes, fun. E: Did you ever do Austrian skiing school? Or with- Nona: No, always Flemish instructors. E: Okay. Nona: I think it's- If you ever feel bad about yourself, go skiing! You can't think about anything else, because you have focus on so many other things: not falling, not crashing, following the right path. You can't concentrate on anything else. The perfect solution when feeling bad. E: I agree completely. Why I asked about the Austrian ski school... As a three or four-year-old little guy, in a ski school filled with all German speaking children... Nona: I did it once when I was little. Bad, huh? E: I couldn't handle it. E & Nona: I cried so much! [said at the same time] Nona: Yes! Bad right?! E: Yeah. But It's just- I mean, you can't ski, can't talk to others who can't ski either. Everyone is talking, you don't know what they're saying, 'are they talking about me?' Nona: You go to the lessons to learn things, but you can't understand what they're teaching you! E: Exactly! Then they suddenly said: "Go into a pizza shape! Let your skis touch like this!" First, I was just copying it with my hands. Then he skied backwards to show the shape, but backwards. Just a point! So I turn, go backwards too. The instructors go ballistic, they were angry at me. What do you do, as a small child? Nona: Fortunately, I just did it once. You don't really learn from them, right? E: Good for you. Indeed. I've got another question. Separately. You've got a boyfriend, so maybe it doesn't apply to you. But I've had fun on Tinder, recently. I get some funny pick up lines on the regular. Did you have a Tinder profile? Were you ever active on it? Nona: No, never. E: Okay. Nona: I saw my friends' profile, just for laughs. But I really don't know how it works. E: The funny thing is, everyone does it for the laughs. They'll send a message, because 'it's just a Tinder match'. If everyone does it for fun, then we're still going about it in a serious way? Nona: Yeah... Do you have it? E: I have it. I just don't send a lot, just here for the pick up lines. I'm exactly the person I bitched about before: doing it for the fun. Nona: Do you start or the other person? E: I've never send anything myself. I would want to, though, since it's a good topic for a video or something. Just recently, I asked for pick up lines, so I could use them. But I haven't gotten the time to do it. In the meantime, I just answer to the messages they send me. Still nice. So you weren't a fanatic Tinder user, before? Nona: No, really, never. I wouldn't know how to use it. I've seen the process on a video, or something. Yet... E: Do you believe that... relationships formed through Tinder, could be good? Nona: Yes, I do. I think so. E: I think so too! There is always such a stigma surrounding it. Nona: That's not true, because if you go on a date, you still get to know each other? E: See? That's the answer I would say too. Nona: It's still a thing: 'Where did you guys meet?' 'Tinder'. Then everyone laughs at you. I think a lot of people make up stories. E: Make up different things. 'Yes, in the library.' Nona: 'What should we say?' E: See? Like that! Where did you met your boyfriend? Nona: We've been classmates since primary school. But I didn't really know him. Now- No, I mean, two years ago, he was also a 'Chiro' leader... E: So... Tinder? No, no. Okay, we've been talking for a while now. Is there something you would like to - Wow, my voice. Stuff you'd like to say? What you thought about recently? Something people should know? What people should know... About you or about life? Wisdom to share? Nona: No, don't have that. E: 'I don't have wisdom'. Nona: No, but I was- Before this conversation, I thought about how awkward I was going to be. E: No, of course not. Nona: Honestly, it takes a while. Fortunately, you're alone. But in group? I'm very uncomfortable, very quickly. It takes a while before I can be myself. I get so angry at myself. "Just be yourself" and then it doesn't happen. It takes so much time. I really get annoyed at that. E: Were you able to be yourself now? Nona: Yes, yes. If it's one person, I can. With a group, however... E: Can I be honest? I never told this. I'm exactly the same. People always think I'm super smooth. I'm only outgoing when I can talk one-on-one. It's easier. Nona: Right? E: Yes. Put me in a group and I certainly don't stand out. I'll wait and see. I'll try to read people. Who would laugh with this and that? And then I might talk. I won't be the loudest screamer. Nona: No, that's... Yeah... It might even happen that, in a group, I'll never be truly myself. Then I think- I don't know- It's not the people- No, probably is, but I don't know what's stopping me. That's really super... crazy, actually. When I finally can be myself, I think people think: 'I want to be the same. Speak my mind.' It has to develop, though. E: I feel you. Completely the same. It still happens with the people I know. I've had great one-on-one conversations with them. Yet, when they're together in a loud group, I still struggle. 'I know these people, they're my friends. I can talk to them.' Then trying to shout something in that group? Still... 'I'll keep quiet'. Nona: So crazy. Especially when they're all immediately themselves, from the first second. Loud and all that. Respect. I would love to be the same. But that makes it harder. 'Shit, I wouldn't dare to...' 'I don't know what to say' E: Indeed. Indeed. I feel you. I think a lot of people have this, we're not the only ones. Nona: No, and I think that, when you get older, it will probably pass. E: I think so too. You'll care less and less about what people think, after a while. Focussing more on people where you truly can be yourself. Okay, what a nice touch, to end the podcast on. Nona: Right? E: Super. I would like to thank you for stopping by. Is there- 'Stopping by', I say. Quotation marks. Are there accounts where they can follow you? Something you're doing? Where you'll post stuff? Nona: No, I'm not doing anything. I'm mostly focussing on school. E: As you should. Nona: And, yeah... the rest, not really... Bad, right? E: Instagram @nonajanssens? Nona: Yes! E: TikTok? Nona: No! E: No TikTok? Nona: I have it, but I don't use it. I've posted one video, where people- I'm in it too. I've got a lot of videos in which people fall. Coincidentally, I'm always the one filming it. E: Okay. Nona: And I've mixed them together. Everyone's falling. That's not really me. No dance video or something. E: No TikTok dancing? Nona: But I love watching stuff. E: Yeah, no, there are- Nona: So much fun stuff. E: The hours fly by if you scroll, that's crazy. Nona: Indeed. Sometimes I think 'Oof', but sometimes things are so funny. I have so much fun with that. E: Sometimes you think: 'People share too much on this app'. I feel you. Nona: That's true. E: I've said it too many times in a short period of time: 'I feel you'. I never say that. But 'I feel you', so... So, Nona Janssens, on Instagram and Twitter? You use that? Nona: Yes. E: Perfect. Thank you very much. Oh shit, I forgot, I have to give a Twitter shoutout! I'll do this quickly. You've probably seen it. So, one of the retweets. Follow and retweet the tweets @gossipguypodcast, if you ever want a shout out. The shout out of this week is 'Astrid', '@Houdjou'. Thank you for listening, Astrid. Thanks for talking to me, Nona! Nona: You're welcome! E: Until next Monday! Peace! Nona: Bye! E: Now I can stop the recording.

#wtfock #wtfam #the podcast was the shortest one #nona janssens

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