#so fucking stupid lol

[emmg]

Emmrich is 19 and clinging to life by a single, fraying thread because the Mourn Watch thinks he should be able to recite undead tax law backwards while sleep-deprived and actively on fire to pass their final exams.

“Have you tried eating the dean’s ass?” Johanna suggests, unbothered, because she is brilliant, untouchable, and also fundamentally does not give a shit. The Mourn Watch is a bunch of whiny corpse babysitters who should be begging to touch her holy left toe. She’s getting in.

Emmrich frowns. Then he stress cries into his pillow because what if she’s right? What if there really aren’t enough hours in the day to absorb 400 years of undead jurisprudence and necromantic rituals?? What if eating the dean’s ass really is the only way to get in???

“Here, chucklefuck,” Johanna says, dumping a heaping platter of coke in front of him.

Emmrich gawks. He is a good boy. He does not cheat. He does not do illicit substances.

He also desperately wants to be a Watcher.

One (1) snort couldn’t hurt, right?

Spoiler: it hurts.

Johanna starts taking notes because Emmrich is fucking disintegrating in real time. His hair is greying from stress, lack of sleep, and possibly the unholy amount of  crack fucking cocaine currently pickling his soul. This is hilarious to her. She joins in.

“I wanna build a huge skeleton,” Johanna announces mid-line, eyes fully dilated like she just glimpsed the face of the Maker.

“I want to find the love of my life,” Emmrich sobs, dropping his portion onto a skeleton’s pelvis.

Doesn’t matter. He’s already committed to this downward spiral. He snorts it off the pubic bone.

Some dipshit cultists are trying to loot the deeper levels of the Necropolis, which is a really bad fucking idea. This is a problem.

Emmrich has not slept in three days.

So he raises the same dead guy 17 times to yell at him.

“PLEASE just let me fucking die,” the cultist begs.

“Not before you scrub every toilet in the necropolis with your ghostly tongue,” Emmrich says, wagging his finger and tsk-tsk-tsking.

Eventually, a formal complaint is filed against him for “unethically harassing the dead” because he keeps waking up long-buried married couples to demand dating advice through his corpse whispering.

Years later, Rook brings a brick of coke to the Lighthouse.

“Oh no,” Emmrich whispers, as PTSD from his academically sanctioned drug-bender days slaps him in the face.

He should say no. He should act like a normal, respectable 52-year-old professor who has left that life behind.

But he loves Rook. He loves Rook so, so much.

And what if Rook thinks he’s lame now? What if she looks at him and sees some washed-up old nerd who can’t even do one little bump of coke like the cool kids?

One (1) line can’t hurt, right?

Spoiler: it hurts.

Immediately, this well-respected academic finds himself in a full-blown, vein-popping screaming match with some random ghostly asshole that wandered into the Lighthouse.

“Hehe,” sneers the Spirit of Bullshittery, “you’re ugly.”

“I TAKE EXQUISITE CARE OF MY APPEARANCE, YOU SEMI-CORPOREAL VULGAR TROGLODYTE,” Emmrich screeches, his voice hitting a frequency that could shatter glass and summon distant, confused seagulls. “BEAUTY IS SUBJECTIVE AND STANDARDS HAVE CHANGED THROUGHOUT THE CENTURIES—IN THE BLESSED AGE, I WOULD HAVE BEEN A—”

Rook, watching this clusterfuck unfold, comes to a rational, reasonable adult decision:

She shoves his dick in her mouth. Maybe if he’s busy getting sucked off, he’ll finally shut the fuck up. Emmrich is so overcome he asks her to marry him mid-suck.

Coke is banned from the Lighthouse.

[silvr-skreen]

Bendy and the ink machine and IM COMIN OUTTA MY CAGE AND IVE BEEN DOIN JUST

CAGE

[puppppppppy]

abogagos……..

[a-little-bit-oddish]

so i'm joining the stem cell registry and donating blood regularly now, because i like, should. and it's been a good process and they're very nice. but as i was signing up for things, it had the box for sex at birth. Which is kind of an insane question. not "what hormones does your body primarily run on". but just... sex at birth. something that is not relevant for blood donation, and also extremely misleading??

they check your red blood cell count when you show up. if I told them my sex at birth was female they'd be fucking horrified by my count. testosterone does shit to the blood! It is so much more relevant to know that my body runs on testosterone! i keep seeing medical fields doing this.

i think that they assume it's nicer, somehow. they don't just ask sex anymore, they just go haha please tell us what you were called as a baby :) we're doctors so we need to know, it's important :)

except it's not. at all. it is more ethical for me to lie to the blood donation centre so that they don't see my blood and flag it, when it is perfectly good blood for people with more testosterone.

i have to go to a throat doctor next month. they specifically asked for my sex at birth. there was not an option to tell them what they should actually expect from my voice and body. when it asked me to list medications, it physically wouldn't allow me to list testosterone, and it flagged it.

it's nuts, because all these places have actually been really welcoming and cool about me being trans, but the actual system is horrific, it's just forcing me to out myself by having to reach out after to correct it. because answering honestly is medical misinformation.

anyway you can just fucking lie i guess

[mohntilyet]

caterina's datamined character description calling her korean-italian and early lucanis designs having him look east asian . i'll just do everything myself i guess

assorted thoughts: caterina is fully 'korean' or whatever the thedas equivalent would be in this design, and clawed her way to the top of the crow food chain after years of work. their armor is something caterina forcibly incorporated to distinguish house dellamorte from the other crows, and a symbol of their status because they get it custom made or imported. of course race-equivalents do not really exist in thedas or this world but i also will never forget how gaider just implied (east) asian people don't exist in thedas because it just so happens that there are no asians on the continent of thedas (guy who forgot about boats) . explode and die. there's not the same kind of discrimination as exists irl ofc (and the dellamortes are actually treated fine, much better than a mage or elf) but a level of xenophobia against foreigners from a different continent. illario looks the least like her, and passes for being fully antivan, which changes how he is recieved by the other crows.

and sorry if the korean is bad please actually let me know if it's horribly translated i relied on google translate . if you are one of ten asian dragon age fans feel free to talk to me at any given moment.

[scampvamp]

I love wangxian so much because they’re just a classic couple done right. Lan Wangji is the strong-but-silent protector type. He’s a leader. He’s a provider. He’s possessive in a charming way. And not to be stereotypical, but Wei Wuxian is such a perfect wife-type. He’s great with kids. He can summon armies of the undead. He sodomizes himself with swords. He feeds his enemies their own limbs. Just so classic and sweet.

[rookanisstuff]

The Dellamortes

[gingerswagfreckles]

Yeah I give up. I know this is a big joke to everyone but handing over your sensitive information to a foreign hostile government that dissappears thousands of their own citizens a year is not the big haha epic leftist win you think it is. I keep thinking I'm incapable of being shocked anymore and then this unbelievably brain dead generation proves me wrong over and over again. The Chinese government is not your friend and this shit about how "haha they can steal all the data they want if they keep showing me these gay mommy milkers" is just unbelievable holy shit how stupid are you people?? The CCP executed over 3k people in 2024 according to Amnesty international. They are currently occupying Hong Kong, unlitaterally ended the legality of a functional democracy there, and have arrested hundred of activists in the past year alone. They have been threatening to invade Taiwan and impose the same authoritarianism there for years, and have been occupying Tibet since the fucking 1950s. The CCP is currently committing a GENOCIDE against the Uyghur Muslim minority, something I KNOW you guys have heard about, but I guess that doesn't matter anymore since getting Le Epic Win meme moments against the US government by sharing your data with those committing the genocide is more important??

Holy shit. Holy shit! Are you people actually out of your goddamn minds? How can any of you call yourself leftist progressive anti imperial prison abolitionist advocates blah blah blah are you effing kidding me? The left has permanently turned a corner that I seriously don't think we can come back from. Actually advocating for human rights has been completely abandoned in favor of stanning actual literal totalitarian dictatorships to look cool and radical online, regardless of any reality on the ground. You are all literally enthusiastically throwing away decades upon decades of advocacy done by REAL human rights advocates, for a fucking meme. I am not even kidding anymore I am virulently disgusted by most of the people on this fucking backwards pro fascist website. You people are not communist intellectuals you are brain dead algorithm addicted ignorant children who are so overly confident and proud about your ignorance that you are actively bringing about worse and worse realities for people who ACTUALLY have to live under the oppression you so desperately want to pretend that you face.

[sundaygimlet]

this has happened to all of us right? it's very normal to have that one annoying coworker you wanna fuck. right???

[vanpalmerenthusiast]

i’m never fucking getting over this btw.. bisexual representation in the media younger me would feel so seen

[icantspellthings]

The Triumvirate as Doctors 🧑‍⚕️

[wildmoonatic]

i bring you: my casual clothes tankman design (and steve too) i am so normal about found family tankdad

happy pride month lol

[bixels]

tarpit site.

[sunnydayangel]

is this anything

[rox-of-iu]

More head disciple era doodles because i love these idiots

(EDIT i just noticed the mistake there was supposed to be "shimei" instead of "shijie" mannn whatever im not fixing that bye)

theyre so stupid and so fun. anyway more of my headcanons under cut if you wish to see

these are just my headcanons im not saying this is the correct way to see them just me having fun ok lets go (this is mainly MQF cuz duh yeah who would have guessed hgjfk)

MQF usually doesnt insert himself into the inter-peak messes and dramas, but does enjoy the fact that people tend to come to him to rant about the latest nonsense so he does get the latest gossip without a need to personally get dragged into trouble

Just the same, he is also not one to start tomfoolery (too busy for that and somewhat responsible, rip to him) but he does actually feel touched when the others think of him and ask him to be included in their tomfoolery. thats why he usually folds and accepts to take part despite his better judgement

dont be fooled MQF is also stupid silly kid just a different flavour that looks dignified on the surface but will not think twice before testing his newest antidote experiments on himself

if anyone is familiar with my fics then you know i love giving MQF a bad habit of gambling, inspired by the donghuas hilarious decision to use his model in that one scene just for the sake of it (originally rando in the book). absolutely brilliant. QQQ enables him in this most of the time and loves to take his money because she is the reigning betting champion

speaking about being inspired by donghua, one MQF background scene where he is posed on his sword is meant to look like a battle stance, but to me he mostly looks like hes trying not to fall hgjkf, thus spawning hc that he does not enjoy flying too much (on his own)

QQQ and LQG light-heartedly fight both with words and fists over the stupidest things. its enrichment

WQW's has a brand of humour that is sometimes hard for people to get and understand that he is actually joking, especially for people that dont usually interact with him. It is easier to clock for his closer circle though. (inspired by the extras)

this also continues as WQW grows more into adulthood, because he gains somewhat of a severe resting face, despite his jovial nature around his friends. He looks intimidating and grows to be more restrained and exasperated at nonsense that takes his time for no reason, but still keeps his mischievous spirit

damn i had more notes written but i misplaced them somewhere so this is it ok bye

[plum-pudding-everywhere]

@windcarvedlyre