#so for all two of you following along at home

[silaslich]

If it hurts to breathe, open a window

Simon “Ghost” Riley x gn!reader

Summary - following the first mission with Soap in mw2. You meet Ghost for the first time, he’s different to the stories you’ve been told.

Wc - 10k

Cw - heavy on plot, injury/blood/death, directly follows mw2 canon, canon typical violence, plane crash

Dark clouds crowded the sky overhead, swirling in a mass of stoney graphite and charcoal grey. The butter-kissed horizon of daylight had faded into a mass of deep violet and midnight blue, melting against the sky to make way for the cover of night.

There was so much noise around for your ears to process; the trucks engine roaring as it’s tyres rolled smoothly and quickly over the damp tarmac, the loud excited voices of the men sitting next to and across from you as they chatted away- having to shout into one another’s ear over the sound of the Boeing CH-47’s rotor system booming to life as she prepared to depart onto the runway.

You kept your eyes down, staring idly at the dark steel floor, mind processing and dissecting the information you’d been given not even an hour ago.

General Ghorbrani was dead. Killed in a missile strike in Al Mazrah several months ago after being discovered working with the Russians- whom of which were supplying Iran with armour and hardware. Part of Tf-141 along with Shadow Company had been the ones to neutralise the threat and the entire arms deal.

Same shit different day, only, it wasn’t as simple as that this time. Ghorbrani had a second in command, Hassan Zyani, Quds Force Major. He’d taken up the mantle for Iran. Now it was him supplying terrorists; money, weapons, intel. You name it. The man was dangerous and he wanted retaliation for the Ghorbrani strike, he wanted revenge, that in itself was dangerous enough. Laswell was convinced he was planning something, and whatever it was, it was going to be big. She had managed to track him and found that he was on the ground in Al Mazrah, and that’s just where you were headed.

You were knocked out of your dissociative state when someone lightly punched your arm. “Y’alright?” The Scotsman was his usual optimistic self, a stupid grin slanting across his face as he looked at you.

You nodded, realising the vehicle had stopped and was beginning to empty around the two of you. Soap stood up from the bench and jumped down from the tailgate, nodding his head to the side, signalling for you to follow him. You did, adjusting your gun at your side as you landed squarely on two feet.

John ‘Soap’ Mactavish had been a thorn in your side for the majority of your military service. Despite being deployed hundreds of times in numerous countries all across the globe you still ended up bumping into that big Scottish bastard far too often. He looked out for you, although you never asked him to, he’d taken a shining to you. And you to him. Like the brother you never had, and never wanted. He always knew how to lighten even the darkest of situations; whether it was his shit jokes or stupid questions, he never failed to pull you out of your own head.

You had joined the British Army at your earliest opportunity when you left college at eighteen. With nothing keeping you tied to home anymore- you left. Without a single pence in your pocket or a dream in your head. Better to die fighting in a war than die fighting an overdose in a back alley like some do. Stuck in a town that never wakes. Dingy corner shops and abandoned parks that are rusted to death. Those same people that have been there for years and never leave. They’re too content there, you think, perfectly happy in their mediocrity. You had wanted more. You didn’t want to fade into that kind of life. Scraping together change from a shitty job to get by, meeting and settling with someone for the sake of it only to have a child entirely accidentally- stuck forever. You needed more.

After serving for a little over a decade you were drawn for the SRR, moving up rank and earning your title as Sergeant only a year later- then finally you were transferred to the SAS. Who you’d now served with for the last two years. It was worlds apart from your early army days, you hadn’t needed to go through the selection process because you were handpicked and transferred, but the stories you’d heard over dinner in the canteen and through whispers in the barracks spoke for themselves in volumes.

Soap held his rifle with two hands, keeping it close to his chest as he moved to step forward. The two of you were strapped to the gills in full gear; night vision goggles sitting atop your helmet, throwing knives strapped to your sides and your full equipment vest covering your chest. A patch of the British flag in grey, black and white strapped to your vest proudly.

You stood fast- following Soap’s back with your eyes as you watched him approach another soldier. The soldier was tall. Much taller than Soap was, and that was saying something considering the Scotsman was at least a head taller than you, the line of your shoulder just reaching the mid of his bicep. His height hadn’t been the first thing you noticed about this soldier- no, it was his mask. The crude face covering was fashioned from a black balaclava and skull mask; sewn together with thick stitches connecting them to one another and painted with thick-dull lines of off-white down through the eyes and over the teeth. You cocked your head and squinted your eyes, you were stood too far away to hear what they were saying, and with Soap’s back towards you and this soldier’s face covered nothing gave their topic of conversation away.

Simon Riley. Otherwise known as Ghost both in and out of the field, not many earned the right to call him by his real name.

You’d never met him, only now setting eyes on him for the first time; but Soap had told you all about him. Not just Soap, but near enough every soldier in any platoon you’d served with had a story to tell of the Ghost. Wether it was something they’d either seen or heard, he had a reputation. Not only was he an expert marksman; he was highly intelligent and was a master with his knife skills, but he was most notorious for his stealth and torture expertise. He was an anomaly. Not only was he greatly feared but he was simultaneously looked up to and admired, soldiers wanted to be like him. Be him.

Johnny gave the man a punch to the shoulder, identical to the one he’d just given you, from the stupid grin on his face when he turned back to face you, it was clear Soap was happy to see Ghost. The man in the mask stood for a second and you watched, he didn’t follow after Soap right away, you saw briefly that his mouth was moving beneath his mask, he was talking to someone over comms. Slowly turning to walk the other way as he did.

MacTavish approached you “let’s get ourselves a win, yeah?” he tapped your shoulder twice as he passed by you, making his way toward the helo just twenty feet behind you, now full of marines.

“Let’s” you answered him swiftly, still watching from the corner of your eye as Ghost continued to retreat further away from the transport, you turned you shoulder to follow after Soap when he was no longer in your view.

~

It wasn’t long before everyone was onboard and you were air born, flying inbound towards the border of Al Mazrah. The craft rocked and jerked with the turbulence, it was cramped and warm and far too loud. Flashing white lights assaulted your vision like beacons from time to time, breaking through the streams of deep crimson red that painted the entire inside of the holding compartment. The flight was relatively short in comparison to other missions you’d been on. Still, there was something stagnant lingering in the air, a hunger palpating the breath of these men.

Laswell’s brief had been short and sweet, a run down on enemy positions and the split teams objectives. Three words kept ringing through your skull. Capture or kill.

When it boiled down to it. Hassan was needed alive, but the reality was there was every chance that it might be forced out of someone’s hands. It was still a mission success if he was killed, but the priority was getting him alive.

By chance, Ghost had been seated directly across from you the entire duration of the transport over. With his gun held to his chest he stared forward, right through you, and you did the same. He didn’t scare you, he had no need to. However, his energy did throw you slightly. He had a calm eeriness about him, and his demeanour was even and smooth, but you had a feeling that would all change as soon as he set his boots down onto enemy ground in a few short minutes.

The helo stuttered in the air, dropping lower and cutting through the air as you neared closer to the ground. Silently, Ghost stood.

His gruff voice tore through the white noise of the whirring rotors of the craft, this was the first time you’d heard him speak.

“Bravo team offloads here. Alpha team stays onboard with the Sergeant to land downrange” the heavy footfalls of his boots echoed across the floor as he proceeded down the craft, your rank and name ringing in your ears as he continued addressing his soldiers. “Both teams meet in the middle. Remember, we want Hassan alive” he stopped at the ramp, turning back to speak again “but this is capture or kill.”

As the craft came to thudding land and the ramp began to descend with a mechanical whir, the men selected for Bravo team began to stand, migrating towards Ghost as he stood and waited. Soap stood from his seat next to you with a grunt, adjusting his gun to free up his right hand; wordlessly he held out his fist. You didn’t need prompting, you reached up and bumped your fist against his, nodding at him as his mouth quirked up, just slightly. As you looked towards the ramp your eyes were met with cold dark irises staring right back at you, neither of you made a move to break the eye contact. Ghost was momentarily blocked from your view by Soap’s back, you heard the clack of Ghost flipping his night vision goggles down “keep up, Soap” he barked as he turned to descend the ramp.

You found yourself watching them both as they left, their stances shifting low as they drew their guns and headed towards the broken sandstone structures that had been destroyed long before your teams had gotten here. The ramp shut quickly and you were airborne again, the loud deafening sound of the rotars whirring over your head kicking back into gear again. You shook your head and took a deep inhale of breath, shifting to a stance that meant you wouldn’t stumble from the turbulence.

“You heard the lieutenant team Alpha” your voice was clear and loud, carrying through the torrent of noise. “Let’s get this done” you added as you turned, glancing out of one of the circular windows to peer out into the navy star-speckled night sky.

The sky was one of the only things that stayed consistent in your life. When things got rough or began to drown you, all you had to do was look up. No matter rain or shine; light or dark or sunset or night sky. It always gave you a calming sense of reality, something to escape away from the unfair world you lived in. Away from the blood and the bullets.

As you casted your eyes over toward a cluster of hills nestled against the horizon, a fast approaching stream of fire and smoke stole your eye. Before you could raise the alarm, the pilot’s voice sparked your comms device to life “All stations- Razor-1 is bracketed. We’re getting lit!” His panic was evident and your heart jumped in your throat, you needed to get these men out alive.

“Alpha team hold fast! Prepare for impact” your voice was hoarse as you shouted over the pilot’s voice as he continued shouting through the comms, you urged your men to copy your actions as you held onto the supports above your head, bracing for impact. You felt the entire craft lurch and you were thrown forward, hitting your head against the metal frame of the wall as you collided with it.

“Razor 1 going down! We’re going down!” The pilot bellowed and it rang through your already ringing ears, your vision blurred and the swirl of red lights had you dazed. You tried to stand again, the missile had hit and the whole contents of the craft were flung upwards, including you and your men. You urged them to hang on, to protect themselves from injury as best they could-this was bad and you knew it. You gave them hope as your brain ran into overdrive, wondering how to come out of this.

The impact was like nothing you’d ever experienced- there weren’t any training drills that could simulate a cargo helo crashing from a missile strike at full plummeting speed. Yourself and everyone else on board were flung like rag dolls, colliding with each other, colliding with the walls and ceiling. You caught yourself on a loose seatbelt as you were sent flying forward, palms stinging as the material tore through the skin of your palms. You managed to steady yourself and were forced to watch as one soldier attempted to break his fall with his hands, his arms snapping like twigs from the g-force of the crash and the weight of his own body. You let go of the belt and landed on your back, your ribs connecting with a weapons carrier on the way down as another jolt sent you hurling at Godspeed. You heard the crunch of your bones and winced at the sting running up your side like an electric shock.

The whole ordeal was quick; as the smoke rose and the broken-frayed wiring sparked to illuminate the chaos around you, you could see clearly the full extent of destruction and devastation from the crash.

You coughed as you felt blood begin to fill your mouth and you could feel something warm oozing down the right side of your face. Before you could fully process the scene around you, your comms crackled and a voice found your ears. “Alpha, what’s your status?!” Ghost’s voice was on the brink of showing a slight slither of emotion. You felt like you were choking, the blood and the smoke, it was all too much. You blinked through the darkness and tried to gather your bearings. Rising gingerly to your knees, you were quick to have to clutch at your side, trying to subdue the pain.

Blood stained the walls and floors, bodies were slumped around you and all you could hear was the sounds of coughing and shifting that were almost muted against the sound of the fire now ripping through the crash site. “Alpha, how copy?” Ghost was there again in your head, voice rattling through your ear piece.

You cleared your throat “Ghost” you choked on the blood in your mouth “Alpha is immobile multiple critical!” You slumped down, your body ceasing from the pain as it tore through your nerves. Your senses were lit ablaze when bullets began to rain through the fire and debris, catching the metal and rattling like hailstones. You pressed yourself low to the ground with a pained grunt, pressing your thumb down on your comms again. “Shit! We’re taking effective fire!” You shouted, crawling on your hands and knees toward the wounded, planning to find a gun and cover them from the bullets.

“Sergeant, we’re moving to building 1, hold tight!” As quick as his voice was there again, it was gone.

Your eyes searched the wreckage for anything to help combat the active fire you were taking, that’s when you noticed a gun beneath one of the wounded and you crawled closer towards him. Trying to be as gentle as you could, you rolled him onto his side but he still howled in pain- despite the guilt you knew you had to press on. You nudged the gun from beneath his legs and laid him flat again, not wanting to do him anymore damage if it were his neck or spine that was injured. You grabbed the gun and moved towards better cover, the wreck wasn’t secure and it wouldn’t be long before the enemy moved closer and you’d be compromised. You didn’t open fire yet, there was no point with just one gun, you kept your eyes about you but moved to tend to more wounded.

It was clear that amongst the casualties there were mortally wounded soldiers on your hands, some already dead or close to it. You tried to make them comfortable, trying hard not to think too hard into it. You would want the same if you were in their position. You tried to drown out the noise of the shells raining through the wreckage. Spouting nonsense about nothing, humming a tune as you tied a strip of ripped cloth around someones half amputated leg. You’d seen chaos before, even before you joined the army, but you hadn’t seen this caliber of bloodied carnage in a long time- not since you’d first been deployed.

Back when the fresh faces of young soldiers are first shipped out, not knowing what lays ahead, unknowing that the friends they made in their months of training could soon be lying face down in the mud. You didn’t like thinking back to that time, but right now, you’d give anything to be back there.

You didn’t keep track of time, you thought it best not to. The fire was burning its way around you, it felt like it was under your skin, sweating from the inside out. Bullet shells didn’t cease fire upon your position, they grew erratic and laboured, like the enemy were unsure if anyone was even still alive in the wreckage. You jumped when you heard a voice in your ear again.

“Soap- we’re moving to the crash site to help the wounded. Rest o’ you hold here and cover us” it was Ghost again. The boys were close, not long and you’d have help. It might have only been seconds before you heard footsteps closing in, you could never be safe, you pointed your gun towards the noise and held your finger on the trigger. Always ready. You focused your eyes, squeezing the trigger.

“Blue blue!” A voice shouted, you dropped the aim of your gun, relief rinsing through your bloodstream as you saw Ghost and Soap enter the wreckage.

“It’s good to see you two” you sighed “we’ve got five KIA and one wounded, it’s just me and my gun” you said, eyes daring to peer outside toward the tree line, checking for more movement. Ghost stiffened.

“They’re here, get your fuckin’ gun on that tree line” he ordered, moving himself into position as Soap followed.

You raised yourself up, holding onto some webbing draping across the craft for some leverage, you’d taken more damage than you’d initially realised. It would have to wait. Coming up to stand to your full height, you shuffled yourself into a better position. You took a low firing line, flipping the night vision goggles atop your helmet into position so you could better see. It wasn’t clear, smoke still rising, but it was clear enough.

“Got movement” Soap stated roughly.

“If you have a shot, take it” Ghost’s tone was menacing, his demeanour had done a complete 180 onto its head, like you’d predicted. You were the first to shoot.

“Engage!” you shouted, spotting more shooters spilling from behind a wall. Bullets sliced through the air, the sound ringing in your ears from all angles. You hit multiples, as did the boys, the enemy gave it their best go too. Your eyes caught sight of something, you shouted as you realised what it was. “RPG!” You ducked your head, watching the men in the wreckage around you do the same, very briefly. What was left of the helo rocked and jerked from the force of the blow, more metal flying away and shredding.

“Fuck” Soap growled, losing his bearings. Ghost let out a frustrated noise.

“Get your guns up” you all continued to fire, watching more enemy soldiers dropped to the ground.

This continued, more and more soldiers spilling from the tree line and opening fire. You were low on ammo, you threw a grenade out the window in front of you and it rolled towards a cluster of wooden supply boxes, at least three men were killed when the blast went off. Ghost was opening fire like hell, Soap too, the Scotsman quickly running out and setting mines between reloading stints to fend off the targets that managed to get close enough.

“Dig in, lads. We’re not done yet” the lieutenant was still firing as he spoke, not letting his guard down once. You kept your eyes forward, squinting them when you noticed an abnormal layering of smoke begin to rise from the tree line.

“We got smoke, boys, in the tree line” you grit your teeth, knowing what this meant.

“No visual” Soap said, flatly.

You retorted “I can’t see shit”.

There was a second of silence, “incoming!” Ghost shouted.

More fire hit you, a bullet whizzed so close past your face you wouldn’t have been surprised if it left a mark. Too close. You’d not realised, but Ghost was practically at your side, covering more men coming from the tree line closer to where you were shooting.

“Take cover!” he barked, cold eyes glaring forward as he shot more rounds into the smoke. More explosions rang out, coming closer each time, rumbling the very earth from the force of it.

“They’re launching grenades!” Soap shouted.

Your gun ran out of ammo and you’d lost your hand gun in the crash, your eyes darted around, then you saw the one strapped to the lieutenant’s thigh. You ripped it quickly from the holster, adjusting your position on your knees to get a better shot. You fired through the explosions and into the darkness, hearing more thuds as more targets hit the dirt. Ghost didn’t seem to react to you taking his gun, maybe he was too focussed on the incoming fire. You didn’t catch what he said, speaking through comms to whoever was there. Your brain felt like mush and your ears were still ringing, not to mention the bleeding from your head hadn’t stopped.

“Air support is on its way” he said.

Some of the smoke started to clear. Less and less soldiers were pushing through to the wreckage, this was nearly over.

“Let’s move up. We clear this position and push forward, if Hassan is still here he’s up ahead” Ghost gave the order, Soap clearly didn’t agree but there was no time for discussion. You whistled for their attention.

“Armoured vehicles closing in, there’s four of ‘em” you stated, watching them roll into the darkness through your goggles.

The men adjusted their stances, “let ‘em get close” Ghost ordered, clearly thinking about conserving energy and ammo. You nodded.

Just as they came close enough, the three of you let bullets free, the enemy returning it back with the same fever. To your relief the skys growled over head, barely noticeable through the shrouds of smoke, turrets of bullets rained down by the hundreds, air support cleared the way for you to move up the hill.

A soldier from bravo team radioed through from where he was covering your position, “all clear lieutenant, no movement ahead” he stated.

Ghost replied straight away with a simple “rog”.

Ghost turned, not specifically toward you but toward the entirety of the wreckage, darkened eyes scanning the carnage. His thumb pressed into the button of his comms device, “air support, task a bird for casualty evac” it crackled as he waited for a response.

“Roger that lieutenant” they quickly responded.

Soap and Ghost led the way out of the wreckage and you quickly followed after them. “Alpha you’re with us” Ghost shouted, a number of soldiers joined you as they answered back a “yes sir” in unison.

Your lungs felt like they were on fire and your ribcage felt weak, hollow-boned like that of a bird. The pain was piercing you, like needles pressing deep down into the fibres of your muscles. But you kept on, legs carrying you along with the others, pure adrenaline being your only saving grace at this point. You hissed in pain as your damaged knee almost gave way beneath you, the lieutenant noticed.

“They used us for fucking bait, didn’t they?” you growled, trying your best not to look like you were struggling. Ghost cocked his head toward you.

“They’re well supplied and fighting smart, thanks to Hassan” he put it simply. Soap chimed in.

“Aye. Looks like you were right, Lt.” he said.

Your eyes took in the scene in front of you, fire and explosions lighting the way. “You think Hassan’s still here?” You asked, eyes and borrowed hand gun still aiming forward.

“Heli crash gave ‘em an opening. Let’s see if they took it” Ghost was a realist. Good to know.

All of you continued to run. Breaths heaving and bodies aching. Adrenaline fuelled your blood, you moved up quickly, arriving at the last building. You went to take positions when fire rained toward you, a soldier only inches to your left dropped, caught in the line of a sniper.

“Man down!” you shouted, unable to look at the man as you took his rifle. You dropped low as everyone around you did the same, focusing fire on the roof top of the building.

“AQ has got night vision” Soap stated the obvious, taking out two snipers simultaneously. You grunted in response, focusing your eye through the scope and taking out another shooter up ahead.

“Clear” Ghost shouted. “Move up. Let’s find Hassan, dead or alive” his tone shifted, dangerous now.

You made it to the house. Clearing the first floor, dropping anyone that moved. “We need positive ID on Hassan, check the bodies” you barked out to the soldiers behind you, sticking with Soap and Ghost as they continued to move on.

It was all negative. No positive ID from any of the bodies, he wasn’t upstairs either. The three of you continued, a door flung open, before they could even move to fire their weapon, Ghost shot a round into their stomach and another into their skull. Dropping them effortlessly like it was nothing.

The house was wrecked. A twisted mess of broken brick and fractured stone, electrical wire looming low overhead firing sparks in all directions. You stuck close to Soap as he followed Ghost, noticing that there was a voice playing through something- you all moved toward it, heading up more stairs. Ghost broke the door with a kick, no positive on Hassan, just his propaganda playing on loop through a laptop.

“Hassan’s everywhere” Ghost growled and

“Everywhere but here” Johnny scoffed.

You split off, heading off alone through more of the upstairs, the boys didn’t noticed you’d gone. They’d clearly continued on thinking you were right there behind them. You pointed your gun around the door frame of an upstairs corridor, your body following as you perceived it to be clear. Last minute, bullets flew through a compromised section of the dry wall, heading straight towards you. By some luck, you’d managed to dodge them, leering forward behind a protruding structure in the wall and retaliating with your own fire. You cleared the corridor and entered the room that the target had been guarding. Hassan had been in there.

Ghost and Soap must have been alerted by the gun fire, they came in hot, practically sprinting to your location. They stopped short in the doorway, your back was towards them, their eyes searched the room. You turned towards them, a uniform jacket scrunched tightly in your fist.

“Hassan’s uniform” you seethed. Mactavish gave out a grunt.

“So he was here” he flailed an arm in frustration. Ghost remained in the doorway, his eyes low.

“Lost him when we secured the crash site” he said simply, lowly.

The weight of Ghost’s words hit you in the chest like a bullet, but you knew they shouldn’t have, deep down you knew he was right. Soap was standing between you and Ghost, his eyes darting between the two of you.

“Are you sayin’ we shouldn’t have helped?” Soap squared his shoulders. Ghost just shrugged.

“Choices have consequences”. It was just that simple.

“All bravo, we’ve got movement out here” the voice hit through your ear piece, breaking the tension in the room.

“On the way” Ghost confirmed.

The three of you continued on. Moving back the way you’d come and heading out towards the rest of the team, they’d seen movement in a warehouse up ahead. All of Bravo and what was left of Alpha moved in, lighting up fire when they reached the rolling doors. More soldiers dropped. Shot dead. You all kept pushing through, eyes through scopes and fingers on triggers. You broke off, tucking and rolling behind a metal container, opening more fire as you pushed the enemy back with forcible ammunition. Ghost was on your tail, following after you and overtaking, pushing on through. Soap was up next and came to cover you, locking his palms together to make it easier for you to hoist yourself up on top of the container. There was another container there to keep you shielded, it gave you a vantage point over the targets that had tried to retreat to higher ground. You dropped them easily.

For what felt like the first time in hours, everything stopped. All of the noise. Everything.

“Are we clear?” Soap shouted up to you, you let out a laboured breath. You stuck your thumb up.

“Clear” you said. Your knees burned as you jumped down from the container, you didn’t give yourself a chance to ease yourself down.

“Search it, let’s see what they’re hiding” Ghost’s voice echoed through the now dying silence, the warehouse carrying the gravely baritone of his voice. You closed in on Johnny, following him as he approached one of the container doors that was ajar. From first look, it was controls. Panels and buttons and screens.

“What the fuck is this?” Soap queried. You looked closer.

“It’s all in English” you said, eyes still scanning frantically. Living up to his name, Ghost was suddenly there, behind you, so close you could feel his warmth at your back. You watched as Soap flipped one of the switches, the entire warehouse shook, the container vibrating and whirring.

All three of you stepped back quickly, eyes trained up watching it all unfold.

“Fucking hell” you breathed.

“Steamin’ Jesus” Soap’s jaw was on the floor.

“Ballistic missiles”. Ghost’s gaze hardened.

You frowned “it’s a mobile launcher”.

Another soldier chimed in behind you. “These will go 1,000 miles”.

“At least” Ghost added.

You stepped forward and moved around to the left of the container to get a better look, Soap wasn’t far behind.

“How the hell did Iran get their hands on this?” Soap growled in the back of his throat.

The men watched as you ascended the weapon carriers that were piled up next to the container, making quick work of the climb, a new shot of rage fuelled adrenaline kicking through your veins.

Ghost spoke up “7-6, get us through to Laswell” his eyes were still scanning the discovery in front of him.

“Roger, stand by” the soldier spoke quickly “Bravo 7-6 Charlie to Watcher-1, how copy?” You all waited for a response.

Laswell’s voice quickly chimed in “this is Watcher-1, send traffic” she spoke clearly.

“Laswell, this is Ghost. We got something” the concern was laced in his voice.

“You found Hassan?” She asked quickly.

Your eyes landed on something truly jolting. “Ghost, Soap, take a look at this” you urged, turning your neck to meet their eyes, their expression no doubt mirrored yours. Laswell’s frantic voice broke the silence again.

“Ghost, do you have Hassan?” She asked again.

You watched as Ghost pressed down the button to his comm, leaning down to speak loud and clear. “Negative. We found a weapons cache. Hassan’s got missiles, they’re American” a silence enveloped the warehouse.

“0-7 this is Gold Eagle Actual, repeat your last” General Shepherd’s voice was frantic.

“I’ll say again, Hassan has American missiles” Ghost repeated.

It’s almost as if the air was sucked from the warehouse like a vacuum. You would have heard a pin drop it was that quiet. The way you slumped down into a seated position wasn’t graceful or quiet, but you weren’t about to stand for any longer then you needed to. Soap snapped his neck toward you, his eyes searching yours, you nodded toward him with a half-arsed thumbs up. You saw in the way that his expression fell that you weren’t in a good way, the bleached lights of the warehouse would have left no injury of yours unseen to the eye. You’d lost a lot of blood but you’d make more, right now there were more important things to worry about.

~

Rain pattered gently across your cheeks, it’s cold chill seeping right down to your bones- forcing you to shiver. You hummed, arms crossed over your chest as you sat on the damp brick stone wall with your chin tilted skyward, more droplets cascading down your face like gentle streams over your skin.

This was probably the only thing you missed about England. The shit weather. Soaking wet springtimes and late hazy summers, rugged cold autumns and early winters smothered with snow. You struggled to remember much about them; you didn’t have fond childhood memories of building snow men and drinking hot chocolate, nor were you able to think back to a summer where you’d stay at the park all day playing football, coming home to a freezer-burnt ice cream that your mum had dug out for you.

There was none of that. None of the warm fondness or swell of nostalgic familiarity in your chest. You pushed everything away. There was nothing that you saw worthy to keep in your head; no core memories of birthdays or holidays, no movie nights in or sleepovers with friends. Your entire childhood had been stolen from you, thrown away- just like you had been.

Your memories of British summertimes were filled with laughter; water fights on the barrack fields after quitting time. Bike rides at sunrise instead of hitting the gym, even wild swims at the coast on rarer occasions.

The wet springtimes; running drills through knee high mud, purposefully hitting the ground with heavy footfalls to splash one another. Wringing out your rain soaked shirts in the locker rooms and whipping each other till your skin welted- crying with laugher till you were on the floor.

Autumn, perhaps your favourite. Walking across base - watching as the leaves fell in a blanket of umber and tawny, crunched under your boots, the smell of damp earth in the air, so fresh and free as it stole the very breath from your lungs.

Harsh winters were common, on the contrary to summer, wild swims in below freezing temperatures as part of vital training, your teeth chattering so hard you were sure they’d break. Warm hot chocolate spiced with a drop of whiskey in the evening; settled around a table, talking about everything and nothing in the communal rooms while shuffling a deck of cards- thinking about the idea of found family, realising it’s not as far out of reach as you’d thought.

Those were your memories of home, of England, your memories of the place you were born.

The military had been the making of you- there was nothing before that, you were made for this. You told yourself that on repeat, the army had saved you, put a roof over your head. There was no shadow of doubt that your life would have been very different if you hadn’t taken this route, and you were convinced that you would have been six feet under by now.

The rain was only passing. The frigid breeze carrying it ever so gently, kissing your skin. You wished a storm would come your way, wash you out and provide a much needed clarity- a reset. You did always love thunderstorms, watching the lightning split the sky, cracking and illuminating as it broke apart.

You were sitting outside. The backend of the barracks were more sheltered, further hidden from higher ups that would scald you for being outdoors so late.

After the last twenty-four hours you’d had, you should have completely crashed. Been dead to the world as soon as your head hit your pillow. But you didn’t - couldn’t. Unable to sleep, unable to settle, thoughts racing and mind following. There was so much going through your head, and that wasn’t common for you, this should have been just like any other day; any other job.

Something was different, and you knew it was far from over yet.

Soap had been by your side the entirety of the transport back to the barracks, his eyes wide and searching as he asked you question after question, barely letting you close your eyes for even a second for fear you’d slip into a coma from the blood-loss.

You wanted to bang your head against the metal of the craft as you sat there listening to him drone on. Either that or you would rip Johnny’s voice box out of his throat with your bare hands. Ghost’s fists clenched where they sat resting on his thighs.

“Leave it, Mactavish” he’d barked, clicking his tongue as he did, clearly it wasn’t just your nerves Soap was grating on.

You wanted to laugh as you watched the Scotsman shrink back in his seat, like a dog with its tail between its legs, not liking getting told off. Yet, your smile washed away, swallowed by the tension in the craft. The entire mission hadn’t gone to plan, coming up short, following dead lead after dead lead. With fatalities and injuries on top of that, it didn’t serve to keep the morale of the team up.

The three of you didn’t speak much. You could see the tiredness eating it’s way at Soap, feeling as his body grew heavier and heavier beside you in his seat. Ghost was sitting across from you, like he had done on the transport over seas chasing the dead lead, you couldn’t see him all that clearly, the night flight back to base didn’t provide much light to go by, only giving you a rough shadowed outline of where and how he was sitting.

Yet, you were sure you could feel Ghost’s mind ticking over. Almost as if you could hear the man thinking, could hear the gears turning over and over in his head as he sat there- stewing away behind that mask of his. He kept his arms folded across his chest, another barrier thrown up in defence, dead eyes glaring towards the ceiling as he rested the crown of his head against the back of his seat. He had his legs kicked out and splayed apart, resting either side of your boots, right foot tapping away in absent thought.

You hadn’t managed to sleep, didn’t even feel groggy at all, and you were always the first to sleep on transport. Usually loved getting rocked to sleep from the turbulence or terrain. There had been a running joke for years that you could sleep anywhere at anytime, your body had improved over the years at getting used to time zones and differences, it barely reached you anymore.

It was unusual. Your body wouldn’t allow you to rest, perhaps the adrenaline hadn’t subsided just yet, maybe after you’d been to medical upon landing and gotten cleaned up you’d feel better.

Negative.

Soap had marched you to the medial building as soon as you’d gotten to base, tugging you by the arm like you were a naughty child. The other soldiers had gone straight to the barracks, heading straight to their bunks to sleep off the last twenty-four hours, they’d earned it. Even Ghost went.

You shooed Johnny away as soon as you were being seen to, urging him that he didn’t have to babysit you and that he should rest up. You reminded him that this wouldn’t be a long respite. He had nodded, a smile quirking at his lips as he held out his fist, you rolled your eyes- but you bumped your fist to his nether the less.

The sweet nurse had tried to express her concerns for the state you were in, but as lovely as she was, you brushed her off. She was short and blonde, the tiredness in her pretty hazel eyes showing you she’d been in the med room since early doors. She’d urged for you to have x-rays taken of your chest, that even if your ribs were just fractured that it could potentially cause other issues if you hadn’t already punctured a lung or lacerated any other organs. You pulled a bullshit excuse out of your arse and handed it to her with the nicest of smiles, hopping down from the examination bed as you buttoned your shirt back up. She’d already cleaned and taped the wound on your head, cleaning some of your other cuts and grazes and smothering them in balm to keep anything nasty out. She sent you on your way after shoving some heavy painkillers down your throat, knowing you weren’t going to take her advice and that you’d deploy again tomorrow, and she was right- you couldn’t sit this one out now.

After leaving the medical building you’d made your way outside, and you hadn’t moved since. It must have been hours now. You stopped counting after two, letting the cold chill of the rain and wind sting your face as you perched there on that wall, content and calm. Perhaps it was the painkillers making your head foggy, calming the thrum of your blood as you stared out into the star studded darkness.

Upon hearing heavy footfalls scuffing across the concrete, you turned your attention to the source of the sound, watching a shadowy figure approaching as they descended the stairs that led back towards the main buildings. You couldn’t see all too clearly, there were no lights to illuminate the area in which you were sitting, to purposely discourage loitering. Whoever it was didn’t speak right away, you tilted your head back towards the sky, closing your eyes with a sigh. They came to a stop next to where you were sitting on the wall, not invading your space directly but barely keeping their distance.

A faint click of a lighter striking caught your attention and your eyes opened to flicker over to your left- it was Ghost.

The cigarette was already between his lips, his left hand cupping it to protect it from the wind and rain as the other hand held the lighter, dying away with a loud click.

You watched as he inhaled deeply, the swell of his chest rising as the end of the cigarette illuminated a deep amber, causing shadows to dance across his face from the glow. The mask caught you. This wasn’t the one he’d been wearing before, this one was a simple black balaclava with his characteristic skull printed onto the lower part of the face- it was already pulled up to the bridge of his nose when you had turned to look at him. There were thick smudges of black-grease paint plastered over his eye sockets, making the colour contrast with the hickory brown of his eyes.

There was something about your lieutenant that you couldn’t quite grasp fully; you’d met plenty of reserved soldiers before, closed off and more secretive about themselves and their lives outside of these walls- but Ghost was different. It’s as if there was nothing outside of these walls for him. The military and the 141 were his entire life, the reason he breathed air and woke up in a morning.

When the others made plans for leave or talked about their families, he didn’t, he’d stay and he’d listen. Never has he ever uttered so much as a word about his private life, maybe he did have one, maybe a wife and a family- but you couldn’t see it.

He was just so- unmoved. He barely showed outward concern for himself or his team, the latter more so but only if it was fatal. He knew that collateral damage was a given, he knew that every mission he deployed on he would come back with less soldiers then he left with. Ghost swallowed that pill everyday, the lives he holds in his hands, the weight of the grief on his shoulders. It was any surprise he was still standing, but you guess he was numb to it now, that’s why he didn’t feel it anymore. He was so used to death and destruction, it was starting to be ineffective at jarring him, at making him feel any kind of way about it.

Ghost pockets the lighter, reaching up and holding the cigarette between his thumb and index finger as he retracts it from his mouth, a deep-dark cloud of smoke falling from his lips as he breathes it out.

Your eyes lingered. Assessing the dressed down version of the infamous soldier as he leaned back against the wall. His boots and trousers were what was left of his uniform, from the waist up he was wearing a charcoal coloured jacket with a high collar that he’d pulled up, covering what you could see of a simple black undershirt peeking out from between the zipper of his jacket.

The darkness didn’t provide your eyes well, only when he took a drag of his cigarette could you see the outlines of the lower half of his face. Even then, you didn’t risk staring, despite your- curiosity he was still your lieutenant.

It’s normal to be curious- you keep telling yourself. He’s your lieutenant; your point of call, your lifeline when you’re out there risking life and limb. Yet, you’ve never seen his face, would never be able to pick him out in a sea of hundreds. He doesn’t owe you anything, you’re new to his charge, under his wing so to speak, but you’re leading this mission with him and Johnny- the least you should be able to ask for is some truths. Everything about him is redacted, save for his name, even then that had been hard enough to get, apparently everything about him was on a need to know basis.

The man took a long-heavy drag of his cigarette. “How’s your head?” He asked flatly, his eyes trained forward as he spoke.

His voice might not have been loud, but you’d been in silence for hours, the gravely tone of his voice hammered straight through to your bones. You watched him out the corner of your eye.

“It’s fine” you said, not really wanting to elaborate in case he tried to catch you out.

Ghost hummed “you sure about that?” He queried, tone a little harder.

When you craned your neck to look at him fully this time you found he was already looking at you, his eyes pointedly focused on the tape holding the left side of your forehead together. You didn’t take your eyes away.

“I’m very sure” you reiterated, hoping he’d drop the subject, you had a feeling he wouldn’t.

“And the punctured lung?” You stiffened. How did he know? He pushed himself up from leaning back against the wall and turned his body so he was parallel to you now, his right hip leaning into the brick as his right elbow kept him propped there. He had let go of his cigarette, his lips keeping it secure as he continued to smoke it, blowing smoke out the corner of his mouth.

You gathered your thoughts in your head, thinking of the best response you could give. The man spoke before you could.

“Your silence tells me a lot, sergeant” he huffed, taking ahold of his cigarette once more as he returned to his prior position, mirroring the way you faced forward. You kissed your lips against your teeth.

“I’m fine” you said again, you saw no point in trying to persuade him, he’d clearly already made up his mind.

Ghost made some kind of noise in the back of his throat and you heard him rooting for something in his pocket. You were surprised when a cigarette was held out towards you. You frowned, casting your eyes over to him to find he was still staring forward, mouth devoid of a cigarette and his free hand stuffed into his pocket, he’d clearly smoked it right down to the filter and ditched it.

How could you think you could lie to him? He’d seen first hand the pain you were in, so much pain you couldn’t see straight, blood staining your face as you fought for a singular breath to enter your lungs.

He was testing you now. If you refused the cigarette then he’d assume it was because you were still in pain with your lungs and chest, if you took it then perhaps he would lay off.

You made up your mind, brushing your fingers over his as you took the smoke from his hold. You placed it between your dry lips, you were still in your full gear and you knew you had a lighter somewhere, before you could start your search- Ghost already had you covered. His hand extended out toward your face with the flame dancing and licking at the breeze, you leaned in close and cupped both of your hands around his as it held the lighter, inhaling deeply as the earthy taste of the tobacco hit the back of your throat.

You’d smoked causally and socially throughout your entire army career, surely smoking through one cigarette without as much as a splutter would be easy enough.

Ghost retracted his hand and pocketed his lighter again, watching you smoke from the corner of his eye. You could feel his eyes on you, so you purposefully didn’t look his way, you gazed off into the pitch black, eyes struggling to focus on anything at all.

He stuffed both of his hand into his pockets, enjoying the quiet, listening only to the steady pattering of soft rain against the brick and concrete and the gentle sound of your steady breaths exhaling the smoke.

You weren’t about to admit that he was right, but he was right. The nicotine dried your lungs and the tickle of tobacco at the roof of your mouth and back of your throat had you gagging to cough, mixed with the subtle metallic taste of your own blood that still lingered on your palate. It wasn’t a delightful mix. You decided to distract yourself.

“Anyway, how come you aren’t asleep, Lt?” You asked, genuinely intrigued. The man quirked a brow, or at least, it looked like he did.

“Could ask the same to you” He was right but you asked first. You tutted.

“I’ve been with medical” you countered, thinking you’d caught him out.

“Three hours ago” he gifted flatly. Fuck. You shrugged him off.

“I lost track of time” you took his silence as his answer.

It was obvious that he hadn’t come out here just to smoke, there was something he needed to say, and you wished he would just spit it out. He shifted his stance, like he was in pain, you almost asked if he was okay, but thought better of it. He was more then capable of looking out for himself, when you were out in the field you’d worry and watch his six, back here- you’d leave him to it.

Ghost sighed “it’s been advised that you don’t ship out tomorrow” his words cut through you, his softened tone did nothing to soften the blow. You stiffened, shoulders squaring off as you took a deep inhale of the cigarette.

“On what grounds?” You asked quickly, tone shifting. He noticed.

“Medical” he spoke while looking at you pointedly, you laughed.

“Wow” you shook your head with a disbelieving smile “you take a little bump to the head these days and that gets you grounded?” Your question was entirely rhetorical, your head was the least severe of your injuries.

Ghost shifted his weight, still looking at you, watching as the emotions played out on your face. “listen to me-“ you cut him off.

“No, it’s bullshit” you stated with a scrunched frown creasing your face, still heaving plumes of smoke as you spoke.

“Oi” the lieutenant barked, making you freeze and look at him. “I’ve dismissed it” he said, his calm front falling back into place. Just another mask to add.

Your eyes blew wide. “You- what?” You asked, confused. He sighed, reaching over to pluck the cigarette from between your fingers, bringing it up to his own lips to take a drag.

“I think it’s best we finish what we started- all of us” he said, puffs of smoke escaping his lips between his words. He handed the cigarette back to you as he continued, watching as you brought it to your own lips to continue smoking it. “You handled the crash well” he said “would have had more fatalities if you hadn’t have helped when you did” it was clear that he believed what he was saying, you didn’t take Ghost as someone who minced his words, he said it how it was.

“Thank you” you said, simply, returning your gaze to the dark sky, rain still falling gently.

It took a few seconds for Ghost’s words to settle. You furrowed your brow in thought, offering the cigarette back to him, which he gladly took. A comfortable blanket of silence fell over you, the next few minutes were simply nothing. A void in conversation that wasn’t forced or awkward, it was just- natural. The two of you passed the cigarette between one another wordlessly, Ghost taking the longest and final drag till it was down to the end of the filter before he flicked it away, stomping it out with the heel of his boot. This signalled that it was time to call it a night, or a morning, you didn’t know what time it was. You pushed yourself down from the wall, groaning and cracking your joints as you stretched out, sitting in the cold for this long wouldn’t have done you any good.

Ghost pushed himself up from where he’d been leaning against the brick, now you were standing here, parallel to one another, you could see just how tall he was in comparison to you. Even the width of his shoulders were almost twice that of yours. You were forced to look up to meet his eyes, those cold-dead eyes of his. He tilted his chin down to see you clearer, that usual frown of his under the mask gone, no where to be seen. His expression was soft, almost content. You broke the silence.

“Thank you Lt” you said, watching the fabric over his brow furrow. “For not grounding me” you added. His eyes softened slightly.

“Don’t let me regret it” his voice was gruff, maybe even tired.

Your eyes hadn’t adjusted to the dark, but he was so close you could faintly see the outline of his jaw and lips as he spoke. There was only a scant amount of space between you and him. You didn’t fight the urge to reach up your hand and pinch the mask where it was pushed up against his nose- yanking it down in one swift movement. He let you do it. Didn’t even move to stop you. “Better to keep your anonymity Lt” you said, smiling softly as you moved to walk past him and head toward the steps. He turned his shoulders slowly toward you.

“You know my name” he said flatly, barely amused by your attempt to joke with him.

He was right, you did know his name, but that took the fun out of it.

You sighed “Come on, Riley. Time to get some shut eye, before we get in trouble for being out here” you adopted a horrific Manchester accent as you spoke, whatever drugs that nurse had given you, they were pretty fuckin’ wicked. Ghost clearly didn’t agree, but he also didn’t correct you when you used his surname. That was a feat in itself.

“I’m a lieutenant, what the fuck are they gonna say to me?” he grumbled, mostly to himself, but you had heard him.

You laughed softly, something warm swelling in your chest. Your initial perception of him had been cold and disconnected, he presented himself as a man who existed solely for his role within the military. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, you were sure you’d find out. Your exchange with him this evening had showed you that he was observant and truly did value each and every soldier in his platoon. He wasn’t allowing you to be medically grounded because he believed you would be an asset to the continuation of this mission, if that man had any doubt about the severity of your injuries and the chance that you could slow them down- he would have you grounded in a heart beat. He was giving you a chance, and you were determined to show him he was right to trust you and your judgement.

You held onto this feeling as the two of you climbed the stairs, entering the halls of the barracks and parting ways to your respected quarters.

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

Good to Me

The three times that Mingyu regrets setting you up, and the one where he finally says something.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mingyu’s a little bit of a jerk, but that’s it.

This is part of the Three Times series. This one is inspired by this reaction.

One

It’s Mingyu’s turn to set you up. You introduced him to a friend of yours last week and it went so well, no matter how short-lived it was, that you’re holding it against him now. You’re dressed to the nines for a night out at the club and Mingyu just rolls his eyes when you remind him what you’re looking for on the drive over. He knows what you’re looking for because he’s known you too long not to. 

He’s invited you to tag along with the infamous 97 line. You’ve met many of them before, but he just raises an eyebrow at you when you take one look at Jaehyun and say ‘I want him’. You follow it up with a shrug and say ‘he looks good as a blond’. 

After only a couple drinks, Mingyu doesn’t have to do a lot of work to set you up because Jaehyun is doing all of the work for him. He knows every single one of his friends would date you or hook up with you, and it’s just a matter of you picking out who. 

He doesn’t think much of it when you and Jaehyun disappear a little while later. He checks your location and you’re at home. Mingyu continues on with his night, business as usual. 

Two

Mingyu’s eyes bug out when you tell him you have a date. Not that it’s unheard of, but you’ve always said you don’t really want to be tied down. There’s something about the little twinkle in your eye that tells him this one might be different. 

“Jaehyun? Really? Was he that good?” Mingyu teases, but he’s a little confused at how his whole heart isn’t in the little jab. Particularly when your eyes shine a little brighter at the mention of his friend’s name. 

“I think I really like him, Mingyu. I want to see where this goes.”

You’re his best friend and he loves you and wants to see you happy - which you certainly look right now. So he does what any good best friend would do and waves you to your closet to help you figure out what to wear. He’s seen you in practically everything hanging in here so he takes charge. 

But there’s a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach with every date you go on over the course of the next couple weeks. It’s never been like this before, even when you have pursued someone with some seriousness. He shoves it back because he doesn’t know when this changed for him. 

He knows you’re attractive. He knows you’re smart. He knows you’re funny. He’s not stupid and any straight guy would be crazy to turn you down. When did he become one of those that would be crazy? One of those that would beg for a chance?

You don’t seem to notice how reserved he’s gotten about the topic of Jaehyun. You’re too in love already to notice anything else. 

Three

He’s out to lunch with a few 97 liners. Jaehyun is sitting across from him and he’s never wanted to hit his friend more, especially when you’re brought up. Jaehyun isn’t saying anything gross or mean, but the dopey smile on his face is driving Mingyu up the wall. 

“How does it feel to finally have a successful set up, Mingyu?” Eunwoo asks teasingly. They all know how you and Mingyu operate, and have occasionally begged to be on the receiving end of that set up. 

Mingyu shrugs noncommittally. “It’s whatever.”

“Ouch,” Jaehyun laughs. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are, but no one’s good enough for my best friend.” Mingyu knows the answer is brutal but it’s honest. 

“Maybe,” Jaehyun admits. “But things are going well.”

“For now,” Mingyu’s words have an unintended bite to it. 

Jaehyun looks like he’s getting a little offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that nothing lasts with her. I love her to death but she’s got more commitment issues than all of us combined.” 

The mood has shifted, and Eunwoo tries to recover the conversation, but Mingyu’s realized what he said, particularly how he said it, and he can practically see how the wheels are turning in Jaehyun’s head. He really, really hopes that it doesn’t come back to bite him in the ass later. 

Four

You’re crying. He can tell as soon as he answers the phone and it kind of feels like a gut punch. Then there’s an extra punch when you say, “How dare you, Kim Mingyu! Why would you say that to Jaehyun?” 

“Say what?” A lot of the sympathy for you dries up as soon as you mention Jaehyun, so he tries to play dumb. You sniffle and it makes him bite his tongue. 

“I’ll have you know he dumped me because he said it wouldn’t last - that you said nothing ever does with me. I thought we were friends, Mingyu. I thought you wanted me to be happy.” You’re sniffling double time now and he’s starting to feel guilty. Of course he wants you to be happy. 

“Are you home? I’ll come over with dinner and we can talk.” 

You scoff. “Don’t bother.” The dial tone echoes in his ears and he sighs. 

Wonwoo’s staring at him from the other side of the couch. “You’re an idiot.” 

Mingyu stammers. “You’re supposed to be supporting me. I didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“You sabotaged your best friend’s relationship. Is that not wrong?” 

“How do you even know that?” Mingyu cried. 

“Seokmin is in some of those group chats, remember? Now go apologize. Get some flowers and chocolate and just confess while you’re at it.” Wonwoo’s already got his face buried in his book again. Mingyu huffs and finally stands. 

You do not look pleased to see him. You even try to slam the door in his face. “Wait, wait, wait! Just let me explain.” 

“Explain what? Explain what you really think of me?” You’re sniffling again between the crack in the door as you glare. 

“It was mean of me to say, and I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.” It’s not like Mingyu to admit he’s wrong. You know that, which is why eventually you open the door and let him in. He puts everything down on the table and you give him a look. Sheepishly, he says, “I wasn’t sure how much of an apology you needed so I might have gone a little overboard.”

He lets you eat the chocolate first. It’s a comfort food and it’s only fair that he lets you get a head start. “I’m sorry,” he starts. 

“You said that,” you mumble through another bite. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, not how he took it anyway.”

“You said that too. You need to do better at this apology.”

“Fine.” He huffs, jumping up to pace. “I didn’t mean that you couldn’t commit, and of course I’d want you to be happy if you found the right person. But Jaehyun isn’t good enough for you. No one is, not even me. It’s never mattered because you don’t keep someone around often like you were with Jaehyun.” 

“You’re a dumbass, Kim Mingyu.”

He gasps. “How about an ‘I forgive you’? I’m trying to apologize and you insult me?”

“It’s true, you are a dumbass and you deserve to be called that. Do you ever wonder why I ask you to hook me up?” He stares dumbly at you and you keep going. “I do it so maybe you’ll be a little jealous and just admit that we have something.” You laugh humorlessly. “But it’s so painful sometimes because they’re never you and I still have to watch you go home with woman after woman.”

“Y/N, I don’t understand,” Mingyu stammers. 

“It’s fine, Mingyu. If you don’t feel the same, you can just say so.” You’ve deflated, playing with the wrapper from the chocolate. 

He marches over to you, pulling your chin up and slamming his lips onto yours. He feels you melt and it makes him melt too. When he pulls away, you’re pouting. “One more apology. I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up.”

“I forgive you.” You look like you’re thinking and then you smile. “What do you think about a change of plans on Friday?”

“Oh?” He asks, smiling lightly. You both usually go to the club when you can, but things have just changed at the snap of a finger. 

“How about a date instead?” 

“Sounds great. I’ll never step foot in a club again if you aren’t coming home with me.” 

You giggle and snort, “Yeah, okay,” but it doesn’t even occur to him to be offended by the jab. He feels like he’s floating now that the weight is off. “I don’t know, maybe we can stop by the club after dinner just to say we left together.”

“Sounds great,” he repeats, kissing you one more time. Or two. Or a dozen.

[070chwe]

from a woman — nicholas a. chavez

summary — nicholas’ favourite part of every event is stripping the weight of the evening at home with you, along with the formal attire. inspired by from a woman by mariah the scientist.

word count — 1.6k

tags/warnings — suggestive towards end, established relationship!au, a load of self indulgent lovesick waffling, nic is a down bad introvert™, part 2 with smut tba? what who said that

a/n — dedicated to my loveliest eternal brainworm buddy @titsout4nicholas because where would i be without u my baby breezy. it’s been like 3 years since i’ve written, let alone published so please be Kind. reblogs are appreciated!

The cacophony of camera shutters, the soft thrum of a slow R&B track, and the hundreds of layered conversations still echo in your ears, lingering like the faintest scent of perfume even now, 20 minutes after leaving the gala. The evening was a whirlwind—one he’s always halfway reluctant to step into. The flash, the glamour, the carefully curated conversations—it all has a way of exhausting him in a way few things do. And yet, it’s unavoidable. A necessary part of his world.

Nicholas has a love-hate relationship with these events, and he knows you do too. You’d much prefer a boozy brunch with his younger brother and his girlfriend or a late-night detour to a hidden, hole-in-the-wall wine bar where the two of you can melt into the anonymity of the darkened corner, away from prying eyes and familiar faces. Galas, premieres, high-profile shows—they rank high on his list of least favorite things about the job, symbols of a lifestyle he tolerates but doesn’t fully belong to. They feel hollow compared to those quiet, intimate moments you share together, where he can simply exist, undisturbed.

The warmth of your hand sliding into the freshly cut hair at his nape, your fingers threading gently through the soft strands, pulls him out of his thoughts, away from the smattering of raindrops trailing down the driver’s side window. Your touch is light, yet possessive, grounding him in a way nothing else can. He leans into it instinctively, eyes fluttering closed for just a moment as he savors the quiet intimacy.

His own hand, as if by reflex, drifts to your thigh, his thumb brushing absentmindedly over the fabric of your dress. The gesture is simple, almost automatic, but it speaks of a familiarity and comfort that words can’t capture. He opens his eyes, meeting your gaze, and for a moment, the rest of the world blurs, leaving only the two of you in this small, rain-kissed cocoon.

Sometimes, the feeling overwhelms him so much that he thinks he may be ill. He hasn’t been able to give it a name because, to him, love just doesn’t quite cover all bases. You represent a degree of normalcy in his life—a fixture for calm among all the chaos. Sharing new music finds over breakfast and drinking overpriced red wine to the tune of Solange. That’s when he’s happiest, when his head is the most quiet.

It’s just past 1 when the sprinter finally pulls to a rest outside the high-rise that houses your shared apartment. The city is a hum of distant lights and sounds, yet here, at this moment, it all fades into background noise.

Nic slides out of the van with a heavy exhale, loosening his tie as he follows you into the dimly lit lobby. His silence only breaks once you’re in the peaceful sanctuary of your apartment. “Thank you for coming tonight,” he says, and you watch as the tension he’s been carrying all evening seems to peel away with his blazer as he drapes it over a chair by the door.

“Of course, my love.” A hint of relief softens his expression as he catches your eye. You flash him a small, tender smile over your shoulder, sweet and familiar, just slightly lopsided where your canine meets the plush of your lower lip. It’s one of the things he’s always adored about you. He can’t help but smile back, his first genuine one of the night, as he follows the click of your heels into the kitchen.

You’re moving gracefully from cabinet to cabinet, pouring two glasses of deep red wine as the quiet of the apartment settles around you. He watches you, entranced by the simplicity of the moment. The familiar rituals—the clinking of glasses, the way you hand him his without a word—ease away the last threads of stress from the evening. “It was really lovely to see Cooper again,” you say, handing him a glass. “I missed him.”

Nic nods, taking a sip of the wine. “I know. I missed him too… but I think I missed this more.” He raises his glass, clinking it softly against yours, his gaze never leaving your face. Here, in the quiet of home, with the world locked outside, he’s finally where he wants to be.

Before long, the two of you are nestled together on the couch, your heels abandoned somewhere near the door and Nic’s tie totally undone around his neck. The soft pulse of a Majid Jordan song drifts through the room, setting a gentle rhythm to the night. The golden glow of the corner lamp casts warm shadows, wrapping around you like a private swaddle. You sit close, faces mere inches apart, sharing laughter and stolen glances as you exchange stories from the evening, each word slipping easily into the quiet intimacy of the moment.

Nic’s hand moves slowly along the length of your bare legs, his touch a soft, languid caress that leaves warmth in its wake. Every so often, his fingers pause to trace gentle shapes on your skin, little loops and spirals that make you shiver. His fingertips linger on the back of your thigh, drawing delicate, invisible I love you’s that you feel more deeply than words could express. Between quiet whispers and playful smiles, his hand finds yours, fingers intertwining as his gaze settles on you, warm and intense. He leans in slowly, his lips hovering just above yours, breath mingling in the charged silence. The teasing brush of his mouth is soft at first, a gentle taste, before he presses deeper, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. His hand slides up your thigh, anchoring you to him as the kiss deepens, each touch and shared breath stoking the quiet, simmering heat that fills the room, drawing you both into something irresistible, something you don’t want to end.

“I should’ve known the red wine was a setup,” he murmurs with a smirk, barely pulling back as you playfully smack his chest. The laughter you share breaks through the tension, leaving you both grinning as Nic settles back into the couch, his lap open and inviting. You climb onto him, feeling his hands rest comfortably on your waist as you nestle into his embrace, a familiar warmth blooming in your chest. Somehow, he makes every intimate moment feel like the first all over again, taking you back to late nights in college bars and stolen moments in his dorm room, where everything felt new and thrilling.

Even now, he still makes you feel giddy, like that young, lovestruck freshman, dreaming of a future with him—a white picket fence, a home filled with laughter, maybe a couple of kids running around. Each touch, each glance brings those dreams rushing back, making you feel as if you’re right back at the beginning, falling for him all over again.

Nic watches you, noticing the way your gaze seems to drift, lost in thought even as your eyes rest on his. A small, knowing smile curves his lips, and he lets out a soft, amused huff before giving his legs a gentle nudge to draw you back.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, his voice low and inviting, reaching out to pull you closer until you’re nestled comfortably against him, fully present with him once more.

His fingers trail up your back, tracing soft, languid patterns that send shivers through you as you settle deeper against him. His touch is gentle yet intentional, fingers curling at the nape of your neck as he brings his forehead to rest against yours, the two of you sharing a breath in the quiet warmth of the room. His gaze meets yours, a familiar smolder that sends heat spreading through you, and the world outside blurs, leaving just the two of you wrapped in this moment.

“You know,” he murmurs, his voice low and filled with something deliciously dark, “I think we should take this to the bedroom, instead.”

The words sink into the silence, charged with a longing that leaves you breathless. His thumb brushes across your cheek, lingering with a tenderness that contrasts the intensity of his gaze. He leans in slowly, capturing your lips in a deep, unhurried kiss, savoring the closeness, the taste of you. His hand slides up, fingers threading through your hair as he pulls you even closer, the warmth of him seeping through your skin.

You feel a rush of boldness, your hands moving to the buttons of his shirt, deftly unfastening each one until the fabric falls open, revealing the smooth skin and taut muscle beneath. You let your fingers trace along the dips and valleys of his chest, his heartbeat slightly erratic as your nails graze the skin. The feel of him, solid and steady, grounds you even as the intensity between you builds. You part just enough to look at him, taking in the way his chest rises and falls, his breathing as unsteady as yours.

The shared look says it all, an unspoken agreement in the glimmer of his eyes, in the way his hands skim down your sides, leaving trails of sparks in their wake. Without a word, he shifts, adjusting himself so that he can lift you easily, legs coiled around his waist as he carries you through the soft-lit rooms to the familiar, inviting comfort of your bed.

As he lays you down, he pauses, gaze roaming over you with a mix of reverence and desire. His fingers brush down your arm, pausing to intertwine with yours, grounding you in the quiet intensity of the moment. Here, where the moonlight and cityscape filters through the open blinds, there’s no rush, only the anticipation building between you, thick and sweet.

He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, each one a promise, a reminder of how much he loves you. And as his lips find yours again, slow and leisurely, you know tonight will be one to remember.

[whatinthebuck]

Unspoken truth

Summary: Buck and the reader are best friends who secretly like each other but won’t admit it until one night 

Word count: 1546

 Author's notes: I haven't written since the beginning of this year so it might be a little awkward at the smut part. And my request are open! Lmk on the things I should work on for my future stories

Taglist: @silas-aeiou —------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buck looked up at all of the windows to all of the different apartments before he took a deep breath and started to walk inside towards yours. He knocked on your apartment door hoping you would answer since it was 2 am. After a minute or so he was about to leave thinking you weren't up before you opened the door. 

“Buck? What are you doing here at 2 am?” 

“Hey, sorry were you asleep?”

“Yeah I was. I just got home like an hour ago but come inside” you say. Opening the door wider for him to walk inside. 

“Okay great” He said as he awkwardly put his hands in his pockets and walks inside/

“Soo I couldn’t sleep” he repeated softley, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Yeah I would be concerned if you did come here to sleep” you joked 

He laughs and you laugh along with him as things become silent but in a comforting way. The kind that only exists between close friends. 

He leans against the wall in the walkway so you mimic him doing the same but on the opposite wall of him. 

As they stood in the dimly lit hallway, the soft hum of the refrigerator was the only thing breaking the silence. He leaned against the wall, his eyes meeting hers with a mix of nervousness and warmth. 

She felt her heart racing, wondering if he could hear it.  

The moonlight peaking through the curtains in the window at the end of the hall casting a soft glow on both of their faces. She noticed a soft blush on his cheeks and wondered if he had noticed hers. 

They had known each other for years, but lately things started to feel like something changed. 

This moment felt different, charged with unspoken words and hidden feelings. 

He shifted slightly before speaking again. 

“Do you ever think about……….. Us?” he asked, his voice hesitant. 

“What about us?’ 

“I don't know like there's something more. Like we're meant to be more than just friends.” 

The silence was thick between them as her heart raced at his question. She had always had feelings for Buck but never had the courage to tell him directly. You have always tried to deny your feelings to yourself and everyone else around you,  But now under the soft glow of the moonlight, everything seemed different, more intimate. 

After what seemed like hours for buck, you answered “Yes.” your voice barely above a whisper. “I do think about us. More than I should. And it’s not in a way best friends should be thinking about each other.”

His eyes widened slightly as he thought about your words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. All this time he had been hiding the same feelings but he assumed you thought of him as a friend and nothing more. 

“You…You do?” Buck said softly as a million thoughts raced through his mind.

He pushed away from the wall and slowly walked over to where you were standing, still leaving a little bit of distance just in case he was misreading the conversation. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You look up towards buck 

“I was scared that you didn’t feel the same way.” Buck said avoiding eye contact. Instead he distracted himself by running his fingers up and down your arm gently, his eyes following the motion of his hands. 

You could sense how nervous he was so you decided to take the lead by grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers with his. While you do that you bring yourself off the wall and close the distance between you two. Buck’s eyes look into yours before he looks at your lips and back to your eyes. He hesitantly leans down towards you, his hand going to your chin to lift your head up so he has more access to your lips. He paused half way there and his eyes were on you waiting for you to make the next move. You wrap your arms around his neck and bring him down to kiss you. 

First the kiss was gentle, saying the things you and buck haven't said. After you guys pulled away to catch your breath. Buck then leans in again and kisses you more desperately than the first kiss. You know what he wants, and you decide you don't want to wait any longer. You tilt your head to the side and kiss him back just as desperately as he was. Buck takes this as a good sign and he moves his arms around you and moves his hands up and down your body over your clothes. As the kiss becomes more eager he picks you up by the back of your thighs and carries you to your bedroom. 

Laughing you hold onto him so you won't fall as he walks up the stairs.

 “Don't drop me” 

“Not a chance” he said with a smirk on his face 

Buck sets you down gently on the bed before climbing on top of you and continuing the makeout session you guys had before you guys went upstairs. Your hands went under his shirt dragging your nails up his chest. He got the hint and took the shirt off and went back to hovering over you. Buck kissed you from your lips making his way down to the side of your neck. As buck was doing that you were running your hands everywhere he would let you. Buck pulled back. You got what he was saying with one look so you sat up, taking your shirt off. You reached your hands back to buck’s face and pulled him back down to your lips. Both of you smiled into the kiss. 

Buck moved his head to where he previously left purple bruises on your neck, he kissed over them gently knowing they were probably getting sore. He kissed his way down your body. 

Starting with your lips, making his way down to your neck, then to your breast. Giving each one the same amount of attention before kissing a path down in between them. Taking his time to kiss your stomach before leaning back to take off the shorts to your pajama set, taking off your underwear with it. He then kissed your hip then he moved his lips to the inside of your thighs. You sat up on your elbows to look at him. Buck made eye contact with you before wrapping his arms around your thighs and going to the place you needed him the most. 

When you felt his lips suck at your clit, you leaned back against the pillows not knowing where to put your hands so you were moving your hands from the sheets to the pillow then back down to the sheets under you. Buck stopped and before you could ask him what’s wrong he grabbed your hands and put it in his hair then went back to what he was doing. 

“Buck” you whisper breathlessly as your hands pulled his hair slightly, pushing him closer into you. Your breathing quickened as you got closer to your climax. Buck took two fingers and slowly started a steady rhythm. 

“It's okay just breathe. Breathe for me.” Buck said in a seductive tone. 

Your back arched up as you reached your climax with a moan. Buck climbed back up to your face hovering over you. He was about to speak but before he got a word out you pulled him down to kiss you. While doing that you reached your hand down to his sweatpants and pulled the band towards you which made the band snap back against his skin.

You pulled back “I want these off” 

Buck smiled before getting up and taking off his pants along with his underwear before slowly climbing back on the bed.  As buck hovered over you again he asked “Are you sure? We don’t have to do more than what we just did, I mean i’m more than okay with just stop here- he started to speak nervously. 

You pull him down to kiss him gently before stopping and saying “I'm more sure than i've ever been about anything else.”

Buck chucked before kissing your lips before kissing down to your cheeks and to your neck while he pressed himself to your entrance. You gasped softly as buck slowly entered inch by inch. Once he was settled he groaned and put his head down in between your shoulder and your neck.

“Tell me when you're ready for me to move” Buck said in between kisses on your neck. 

“i’m ready” 

Buck moved his hips back before slowly bringing them back trying to find a rhythm that both he and you liked. 

Your hands went to his back from underneath him, leaving scratch marks on his back. Both of you knew there would be questions about it from your co-workers but they would be dealt with when the time came. 

Buck lifted his head from your neck and went to capture your lips with his. Kissing as he still moved in and out of you at a faster pace than before, chasing after both of your highs. 

The night was filled with groans and soft moans from the both of you. 

[alliseaisfandom]

Some Coven of Chaos headcanons

(I haven't watched the finale yet and so I'm coping already just in case. For arguments sake we assume the road was real and at the end it gave Jen, Billy, Agatha and Rio the rest of the coven back, because I'm sappy and live in denial)

They're all alive and meet for holidays. Keep that in mind for the rest of the list.

Jen mixes the best drinks. Alcoholic or not, everyone is convinced there's magic involved. She's got a lifelong ownership of the liqueur cabinet at everyone's house.

Alice can play the cello. Billy is the only one who knows this fact. That is until he can get her tipsy enough to break it out someday play for the coven (he almost got it at Samhain)

Lilia has a "memorial pool" in her backyard.

She was also the one to veto Cats out of Billy's suggestion list for musicals they could go to

Said musical outing has yet to happen since almost everyone voted in a different thing

Agatha voted for wicked.

Rio voted for beetljuice (there was a fight over this, Billy remembers very little of it other than hearing Eddie yell "just because you say it three times doesn't mean your vote counts more". It was the first time he brought Eddie to meet the Coven, and sure at the time he didn't know he was arguing with Death Herself, but Billy was impressed regardless)

Lilia voted for Carmen. When told that Opera was not on the list, she argued that dying granted her an extra vote.

Alice agreed, and so West Side story lives on Billy's whiteboard with 2 votes

Jen voted first and picked Chicago, which Billy also voted for, unfortunately when he tried using Lilia's argument, he was reminded rather aggressively and extensively by Rio that being unmade and Dying are actually two very different things

It's the most anyone has ever heard her talk at once and Billy still regrets not taking out his notebook to remember more of it

Unfortunately he only remembered that he did in fact die as William after he and Eddie were on their way home

Rio hates easter with a passion. She has a great time during Good Friday and then sulks for the rest of the weekend

She also steers clear of most of South America and southern Europe in the ends of cotober-beginning of November, not that she doesn't like the Death related holidays, it's just that people keep spotting her even when she doesn't want them to! It's exclusive to that time of year and she's been trying - and failing- to stop it for centuries

The Titanic was a gift from Agatha to Rio. Yes the Iceberg was an accident, in the way that it rendered useless the very precarious fire she'd set to one of the engine rooms

Rio was very thankful.

Billy's school organised an end of year trip to Italy. That night he got a call from Lilia where she told him the best places to go to, what tourist traps to avoid, and asked if he could bring her back a package stashed away under the floorboards of what he eventually found out was a heavily guarded historical monument

The first time they all actually got together to celebrate anything was Alice's birthday dinner

Agatha found herself with 6 unwanted guests in her kitchen and zero explanation. She did not kick them out, a fact she loudly proclaims to regret as often as possible

There is a group chat

Billy, Alice e and Rio are the most active in it, with Jen following, a bit behind because she "actually has a real job that takes up time that you all seem to have free for some reason" (her herb garden died that afternoon and she refused to answer any of Rio's texts for a week after that.)

Lilia never interacts, and they're not entirely sure she receives the messages, as everyone's phones glitch when they try to check

Agatha leaves them on read

Jen was invited to a beauty event in New York. She brought Billy as her plus one, who proceeded to act as her agent all night, getting her two new brand deals, and a spot on a talk show. She brings him along every time now

To be continued

[marymary-diva17]

The spark that connection us

The all spark had given all cybertions the spark to live their lives on cyberton. Ever Mech and femme will make their lives on the place, they call home that connect them to ones that came before them and the all spark. There are times in life when ones spark will call for someone else, and soon enough a bond will form due to the spark that connections them.

y/n " ......" you are making you way through square in Iacon city, looking for your friends everyone seem to out and about at this hour of the day.

????? " hey y/n over here" you soon heard your name getting called and spot Orion pax along with D-16 you smiled and made you way towards them.

y/n " hello you two"

D-16 " hello y/n it good you had made it we thought we had to come to hospital to see you"

y/n " no I got done with my work there with Rachet and he let me go, when I told him I had planned with my friends"

D-16 " well that seems to be the routie with all mentors today, because Alpha Troin had given us the rest of the day off"

Orion Pax " once we said we were meeting up with you he stated it was good, for us to keep up relationships with those we hold close"

y/n " well he is right now come on lets go have some fun" both mech had nodded their heads as they soon started walking with you, to have some fun in the city.

y/n " so tell me how those it feel like to work among the primes"

D-16 " It wonderful getting to meet the primes when they are not busy, and we are getting what it like to rule over a whole planet and it not easy ... there are always debates about traffic and trades with the other cities or planets"

Orion pax " Along with learning all the primes have different personalities, which leads to some disagreements here and there between them but they seems like true friends in the end"

y/n " that is good what about the others who are there"

D-16 " sentinel has come around he mostly works with primeus, and we get to see bee as he a scout there as well so that good"

y/n " cool I get to see Elite near my work time to time again, as she trains the new recruits"

Orion pax " well she as the one of many best students in our group, so it was safe to say she will do well in the field does she make some new student cry or stand in fear"

y/n " matters on how she feeling that day" the trio had fallen out in laugher by your words, as the group enjoyed their drinks of energon, and sit in the both they had found in club.

D-16 " so tell us about you how is life going for you lately see how we talk each day, something might of changed for our Femme"

y/n " well ratchet has told me I have the making of a good doctor, and he might give me more assignments to help me on as well so I'm very happy about that"

Orion " that is wonderful y/n you were always patching up anyone, when were were still in training and everyone enjoyed your care as you were nice about it and didn't scold us"

y/n " you two and bee did a stupid stunt I have to agree on Elite on that"

D-16 " hey it was going to work"

y/n " sure about that and I'm the next prime" the two mechs had laughed at your works, as you had shared your head towards them. You had always been close to many of your friends but you, had always been very close to Orion and D there had been jokes made by others that you and them had sparks connected or are a sparked couple.

D-16 " it good to see that we are all following the paths we wanted"

Orion pax " yes I have to agree many cycles ago we were young bots, going through our training and life now see where we are ... to change our home for the betterment of all life on here and nearby as well"

y/n " like the promsie we made when were were young were will watch each other backs and stand by each others as well" the two mechs had smiled towards you, anyone looking at the tiro will think they were a couple but not just yet.

Later that evening

y/n " tonight has been great guys thank you for inviting me out"

Orion pax " your welcome"

D-16 " you know the night doesn't have to end just yet we still have some time"

y/n " sure let go for a walk around the statues it will be fun" the two had nodded their heads in agreement with you, as the tiro had went for a walk.

Orion pax " there are so couple out tonight"

y/n " well it those feel like a romantic night"

D-16 " do you ever feel like you ever will want to be with someone, bonding your spark with them forever"

y/n " well yes I have been thinking about finding the special someone, and going through the courtship and soon become spark mates"

y/n " what of you both anyone special caught your attention"

Orion pax " well we do both wish to spend our lives with a special someone and become spark mates"

D-16 " it become to tense for us we had to seek alpha Trion help and he gave us some good advice"

y/n " oh that nice of him" the trio had stopped walking to look up at the night sky, just enjoying the time together as the time past by for them all.

Orion pax " y/n if I and D asked you told you something will you listen"

y/n " I always listen to you both so tell me"

D-16 " well you are the one who special to us there has been no one else, on cybetrion so have our attention and feelings with you do"

Orion pax " since we been with you from day one we meet, life has never been the same and we love that and would never change it for anything"

y/n " ......."

D-16 " so we were wondering if you go through the courtship of becoming spark mates with us, if our words and sparks are meanted to be together"

y/n " I will love to as you both are the ones I love as well, and there no mech that can beat you both"

D-16 " well it seems like this night has been good after all"

Orion pax " one of the many best night ever" you had smiled at their words, the night did end on good note for the trio. As it seems like everyone words had been right after all, their spark were meant to be together after all. There was a future to come that will have it good days and bad days, but in the end there will always be the sparks that connected you to the ones you care for most in the galaxy. No matter what future comes that spark will still be strong even due, the situation might not be the same as it was from before the future had come upon everyone.

[zeroible]

Outsiders Week Day One - How Ponyboy got his Bouncy Ball

It all started when Dally went to get more cigarettes.

Johnny and I tagged along because we had nothing better to do, and frankly we also needed a weed. 

“Can y'all get any slower? C’mon man hurry up!” Dally called. 

We were headed to the Rexall Drugstore. Dally, Johnny, and I usually hit it up because we never got caught using the five finger discount. That and it was one of the only corner stores in the East Side.

Gravel crunched underneath my Chucks and stray dogs barked in the distance. The smell of cigarette smoke and a slight chill wafted through the air.

Autumn was starting to set in. Soon I would have to convince Johnny to sleep at our house instead of at that old lot. Speaking of Johnny, he was kicking a pebble down the street. We were kind of dragging our feet, and this was getting Dally real worked up.

“I oughta leave you two slowpokes behind,” Dally spat.

There was no real venom behind his voice, but the comment made Johnny snap out of his daze real quick.

“Wait up, Dal!” he called, jogging to catch up. I followed close behind.

The facade of the building came into view. “REXALL STORE” was written on the front in real big red lettering. The paint was peeling and there were always signs that advertised sales in the glass display windows. We had arrived.

“Alright we’re here to lift some cigarettes. Make sure no one sees ya. I don't wanna be put in the cooler again, got it?” said Dally.

Johnny nodded profusely.

“Got it,” I mumbled.

“Great,” Dally grunted.

He pushed open the door, and a little bell jingled overhead. Dally slowly headed up towards the front, while Johnny and I wandered around. It was tough to be inconspicuous because the store was so small. We were eyeing up the penny candy when something caught my eye. It was a bouncy ball. A bright orange bouncy ball. It was like that thing was calling my name. Johnny and I stared at it for a good second. I was about to grab the ball when the owner started making a fuss.

“Hey, get back here greaser!” the owner shouted.

He was angrily waving around a newspaper as Dally bolted out the door. I started to panic. I looked at Johnny, and his eyes were real wide.

“Shoot! We gotta bounce!” 

I started to run, and almost tripped over my own two feet. Johnny followed close behind. Even though he was small, he was as quick as a jackrabbit. I don’t know how long the owner of the store followed us until he gave up, but we stopped running about two blocks away just to be safe.

“So much for not getting caught,” I wheezed.

I was on the track team, but my lungs weren’t too good. I guess it's from all the smoking I do.

“Shut your trap, Pony!” Dally snapped. He looked all sour. “No one’s getting a weed now. We came here for nothin!”

Maybe Dally was right. I started to get all glum.

Then, Johnny pulled the bouncy ball I was eyeing out of his jeans pocket. I let out a surprised laugh. I couldn’t believe it! We were getting chased by the store owner and Johnny somehow swiped the ball in the process. He dropped it into my palm. I turned the ball over in my hands and smiled. The rubber shined in the sunlight. I bounced it up and down and laughed again.

“Thanks Johnny. You’re a real buddy,” I smiled, and put my arm around him.

“Yeah … no problem,” Johnny stuttered. A little blush creeped up on the back of his neck.

We walked back, and I bounced the ball the entire way home.

[bridenore]

Author rec : Oflights

Oflights is one of my favorite authors. Here are a few recs, listed in alphabetical order.

all the western stars by @oflights [78k]

Draco is a Seer who has been struck with terrible, uncontrollable visions of the deaths of everyone around him, triggered by touch. He retreats to an Unplottable Black family cottage to research his condition and fix it. Things are going relatively well until Harry Potter shows up at the cottage with a furry condition of his own.

along each garden wall by @oflights [61k]

Draco has to have a baby (or have one on the way) at the time of his fast-approaching 35th birthday, or he's going to lose his home to his vile cousin. Harry offers to help, but their complex past—even beyond Hogwarts—prompts Draco to set out on a long journey of friendship, kittens, gardens, motorbike rides, and more.

Close Behind by @oflights [134k]

To rescue Draco from the Underworld, Harry has to look forward. Unfortunately, Draco has to look back.

Cool About It by @oflights [134k]

Harry is so excited for his first date with Draco. But what follows isn't so much a date as it is an all-night odyssey including a malevolent lift, a Gringotts heist, a Sleeping Curse, a trip to the kebab shop, a lack of dancing, a Muggle drug, a rooftop pool party, a black eye and, eventually, a sunrise over a Quidditch stadium.

find a new place to be from by @oflights [47k]

Something is wrong with Malfoy Manor, and it’s driven Draco into the Muggle world. Thankfully, Harry is now on the case. A story about houses that haunt you and homes built for two.

A Hundred Visions and Revisions by @oflights [11k]

Harry doesn’t really like remembering. As he’s grown older, he’s found that discovering or creating or even making things up are all much less painful than remembering.

if the bees know by @oflights [19k]

Scorpius’ playground is haunted, Harry specializes in helping ghosts pass on, and Draco just wants his son to be safe.

Make This Leap by @oflights [118k]

Harry owns a struggling restaurant which is running out of money, and his Head Chef has just handed in notice. He's at a bit of a loss as to what to do until Narcissa Malfoy presents an obvious solution: bring in Draco Malfoy as Chef and part owner. Harry does.

On Fingers Broken Long Ago by @oflights [85k+]

After a ten year absence, Harry returns to his old life in England to find Draco Malfoy at the center of it. A tale of rekindling old flames, unlikely inter-House alliances, angry Hufflepuffs, and medical mysteries ensues. Bound to Linger by @oflights [20k+] Sequel to On Fingers Broken Long Ago; Draco is campaigning for a board seat, Harry still hates Zacharias, and a dragon pox outbreak hits the second floor staff, so nobody has time for anything. Oh, and then there's maple syrup. Tunnel by @oflights [15k+] Sequel to On Fingers Broken Long Ago; see notes and warnings for more details. A history of loss makes Draco fear the future, even the golden one he sees with Harry.

The Star Splitter by @oflights [219k]

On a routine time travel assignment to the past, Draco stumbles upon 7-year-old Harry Potter and witnesses his neglect and mistreatment by the Dursleys. In the moment, there is only one solution, even if it goes against all his training as a Time Agent: he has to bring Harry back to the future with him. In which Draco burns his life down for the sake of his former school rival.

we have heard on high by @oflights [34k]

Reeling from the fallout of a bad breakup, Harry decides to find out who his soulmate is. The bad news: it’s Draco Malfoy. The good news: Malfoy doesn’t seem to know they’re soulmates. The worst news: Harry might be falling for him anyway.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Hope is in Buns, Life is in Stars, Promises in Vain

Okay so I'm gonna be honest, the Local Executioner!König is the hardest AU to work on. I don't often because it takes immense effort, but I did make another addition. This is a hella long post, and hopefully you all like it.

I admit, of all my fics this is the one I treasure most. It's a somewhat medieval fantasy, but the world is entirely my own. This is not your average fantasy. This is not DnD fantasy. This has been carefully crafted over years to be its own thing. I have so much about this AU its insane.

In truth, this AU will one day be its own story. I am telling you, this is a fic I want to publish under my own name. When it happens, I'll let you all know. Until then, enjoy the fic I work the hardest on.

EDIT: I exceeded the character limit. Y'all lucky bastards get two parts. As punishment for my mistake, part two goes out tomorrow.

TWs: Executions, death, gore, torture (referenced), period-sexism, threatened homelessness (it's an empty threat, your aunt is just mad)

Wordcount: 7.5 of 11.7k (This is my longest fic to date)

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Long Story Blow the Cut

Hope is in Buns, Life is in Stars, Promises in Vain

 You watched as Luit(1) rose into the night sky, followed by her faithful servant(2). Luit’s bright light cast long blue shadows over the golden brown wheat fields that surrounded the home. Far into the horizon, the Culling Woods crawled in a serpentine fashion through the hills and valleys. You just hoped that the person you were looking for wasn’t home.

You’d made a promise before and you damn well planned to keep it. You repeated this motto over and over as you carefully crawled across the creaking wood floor and gingerly descended the aged winterwood(3) stairs to go into the shadowy kitchen below. You found The Axe’s provisions tucked away in the back corner of the shop shelves, covered in a loose white linen rag. You fished it out and plopped it all into a wicker basket, brushed down your dress of crumbs, and set out into the night.

You thought the night would’ve been bright enough, but you were glad to have brought the family’s old wormglow(5) to light your way as you walked along the road. Shadows danced among the wheat fields as you passed by. Sometimes, a whisper of wind would crawl through the stalks and up the back of your neck. You shivered, pulling your coat around you tighter and hurrying your step, fearful of what might lurk among the treeline. You couldn’t help but feel that the bobbing light might attract more than moths and gnats as you made your way to the Criahlin’s stone. You hoped and prayed that only The Axe would find you there.

You dimmed your light as you made your way into the edges of the forest. You feared that behind each tree there might be a wicked bandit prowling. Worst yet, there might be a drunkard, maybe even a lost man of the village. You worried about their wandering eyes falling on your virgin form in the night. With a shiver, you hurried your step along the dirt path.

The Criahlin’s stone rose up on a mound in the forest. You passed by the swinging remains of long-decayed bodies to make your way up to find the great stone stage cleared of any fallen leaves. You looked around nervously as you made your way to the center of the blood-splattered shale stage. A part of you wondered if The Axe truly was a monster, that maybe he lured you out into the dark against your will. Maybe he’d decided to take you for himself out here under the shadow of the trees. For all you knew, he wasn’t even here, and had set up some vagabonds to descend upon you in the waning light of Luit.

Just as you were about to turn back, you heard a great shuffling coming from behind you.

You whipped around to face down the newcomer. In the shadows of the forest, you could hardly see the being, only making out a great and massive form. He drug something through the leaves, something long and heavy. In the other hand he carried a full and heavy sack of some strange bulging contents. You trembled as the figure drew closer to you, slow step by slow, dragging step. You stepped back quickly, stumbling over your feet as you tried to make space between you and the figure.

The figure stopped when you gasped. Slowly, it raised a big hand and waved at you.

You squinted, then sighed when you realized who it was.

“By Halax, you gave me a fright!” you called out to the figure.

“I’m sorry about that,” The Axe stepped into Luit’s light and threw the great cloth sack over his back with a grunt.

“What do you think you’re doing there, creeping around in the forest like that?” you huffed, “and what’s that in your hands?”

The Axe looked down and raised up the stick to reveal his great black axe. This one didn’t have the engravings you knew of. It looked smaller, too. 

“It was getting late. I figured I might pass the time by chopping some firewood,” The Axe explained and gestured to the full sack on his back, “what about you? What took you so long? I was worried you’d never come.”

You grimaced, “My aunt and uncle didn’t want me to come out and see you,” you explained as you brought the wicker basket to your aproned front, “I brought you a couple of extra rolls as an apology.”

The Axe stepped up onto the stone slab stage and came forth to stand in front of you. He picked out one of the rolls and held it up to see it.

“These are�� There’s something different about these ones,” he squinted at the offending bun.

“That one’s a honey nut bun,” you explained, “there’s also a sap bun and that one’s a beetle meat bun. I was probably going to take the beetle meat home with me as a snack for the road.”

The Axe gently lowered the bun down to the basket as he whispered, “You didn’t have to do this. Just getting bread is enough.”

“Well,” you shrugged, “maybe you can tell me how good they are.”

“I don’t know how good of a judge I’d be,” The Axe shook his head, “I’ve never had any special buns like these before.”

You laughed, “What do you mean? Everybody’s had some of these buns! They’re the best in town!”

The Axe looked at you sadly, “Not me. I’ve never had one of these before.”

“Never?” you pushed.

“Never,” he repeated, “I could never justify the price.”

“Are you saying my uncle is unfair in his pricing?” you rose an eyebrow.

The Axe shook his head firmly, “No, not at all,” he put his axe from his shoulder and struck it deep into the soft earth, “I just never had enough coin to buy one.”

“Really?” you blinked in a stupor.

“How could I afford a bun when I can’t afford tinder for my fireplace?” The Axe replied, “I can’t afford such lovely things. I’ve always wanted one of these, but two? I can hardly believe my luck.”

He looked at the basket sadly, “I… I can’t take this. It’s… It’s too much. You’re being too good to me.”

“What?” you frowned and crossed your arms, “of course you can! I’m giving them to you!”

“But I can’t take such nice gifts for free,” The Axe complained, “you’re too kind and generous to waste such precious goods on someone like me.”

“Well, not really,” you admitted meekly, “I mean, I did forget your rations yesterday. Think of this as just something to make up for it.”

“But-”

“No buts!” you cut him off quickly and held up a finger to point at his chest firmly, “look, I brought you the buns because you deserve them. I mean, it’s fair, right? I forgot your rations yesterday, this is to make up for it. And anyways, they were probably not gonna sell. They’re old. I mean, well, maybe they would’ve sold, but who cares. I think you should have them.”

“Not sold?” The Axe tilted his head to the side, “but aren’t these the best buns in the village? Father Kim and judge Holten always tell me so…”

“Sure are,” you grinned briefly before frowning, “and as I said we probably would have, but we made too many again. If you didn’t take them, I’d probably give them to a farmer to feed their animals or something. That, or add them to Father Kim’s offerings. That’s probably how he knows they’re so good, actually.”

“Well, anything you give me is a treasure,” The Axe said softly as he took up the wicker basket. He looked around himself, but seemed to be at a loss.

“Is something wrong?” you asked.

“I thought I brought a bag, but the only one I have is full of firewood now,” he muttered, “I… Hm… Do you think you can wait a bit?”

You looked up at Luit and down at the horizon. You’d been out for a while already, and the thought of being out at night, alone in the Culling Forest, completely at the whims of nature and her crew… You shook your head.

“I really don’t want to be alone out here,” you said, “what do I need to wait for anyways?”

“I need to go back home and get a good bag for these,” The Axe replied, “it’d be a shame to get wood slivers all over these.”

“Why don’t I just go to your place with you?” you offered.

The Axe straightened up above you. His eyes sharpened in Luit’s light, ghastly blue in the pale hues of Densis’s-watch(4). He heaved his axe back up from the dirt and swung it over his shoulder with a dangerous grunt. You withered under his watch as he glared down at your shivering form, cold in the night and weak under his watch. You’d never felt so small before. Had you offended him? Had you maybe insulted his good nature?

You were about to say something when he held up a hand.

“That’s fine with me,” he replied hoarsely, “I just… I haven’t had visitors before. You’d be my first.”

“Your first? Doesn’t anyone visit you?” you asked.

“Not willingly,” The Axe replied, “nobody comes to me unless they absolutely must. Even Father Kim, good a man as he is, he avoids coming out here,” The Axe took a look around at the hanging bodies in the trees, “I can understand why.”

You watched as The Axe ducked into the shadows of the trees , only briefly checking over his shoulder to see if you were actually following behind him.

You trailed behind him quietly, letting him lead you him deeper into the woods.

—

The path creeped along the forest floor until it came to a small wooded grove. In the center, The Axe’s small rustic a-frame wood cabin stood tall among the shrubbery, framed on one side by a small vegetable garden and on the other by a lean-to wood shed. A small idol of Criah(7) had been mounted above his door.

“You know, you’re a lot closer to my place than I thought,” you muttered as you followed behind The Axe to his front door.

“My great grandfather fought for many years to build here,” The Axe said as he whacked his axe into a rotten stump.

“You guys had to fight to build here?” you wondered as you took in the glowing candle lanterns way up strung above you.

“Nobody wanted to live close to us,” The Axe explained bitterly.

He walked up to the door and briefly touched the head of the idol and muttered a silent prayer. Once he had given his thanks, he turned back to you and looked at the wicker basket in your hands.

“You can pass me the rations and I’ll bring them back inside,” he said as he opened his door.

You tried to hide the disappointment in your voice when you asked, “You’re not inviting me in?”

The Axe shook his head and nodded up at the idol, “It’s bad luck for anyone else to come in. I… I don’t know how much I believe in all those stories, but I don’t want to test it tonight. Not with you, at least.”

You looked up at the tree giant’s face, eyes painted like brilliant rubies shining wickedly in the dark.

“I don’t really want to test it out either,” you admitted as you opened your wicker basket for him.

It didn’t take long to pass The Axe his rations and get them into his kitchen. You were once again startled by how little he was actually allotted. He only got a single loaf and a handful of plain rolls. It was practically criminal to give the man so little. Half way through passing over the baked goods, an idea flashed through your mind.

“Alright, that’s the last of the regular rations,” The Axe said as he came to the doorway again, “I just need your ‘apologies’ now.”

You looked down at the mostly empty basket longingly. You went to pass over the bun, then paused. You looked up to him hopefully.

“Actually,” you said slowly, “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to eat a bun together.”

The Axe’s eyes shot wide open. His normally sorrowful eyes were wide and bright with boyish glee.

“You want to eat them with me?” he asked, unable to contain his excitement.

“I mean,” you shrugged and stepped out towards an overturned log, “I can stay out for a bit. I don’t have much to do tomorrow. Might as well enjoy Densis’s-watch, right?”

“Aren’t you worried about sharing a plate with Criah’s son?” The Axe slowly drew out of his dark home to stand in the light.

“Halax watches over me,” you smiled and sat down on the mossy seat, “I think I’ll be safe.”

The Axe followed you before sitting on the earth in front of you. You almost wanted to ask him to take off his hood to see the awe on his face when you fished around your basket for the buns. He looked practically euphoric as you passed him the sticky honey bun, wrapped in a parcel of parchment.

His thick fingers struggled to undo the twine, inhibited by his eager trembling. You almost had to laugh at how excited a man born of death and blood became over a simple honey bun. He looked less like a staggering colossus and more like a young boy shaking with unbound glee. He looked like he was unwrapping presents for the first time. You immediately sobered up on the thought that it was entirely possible that this was his first gift from outside his family. What a horrible, horrible thought.

He carefully held up the bun in his hands to Luit’s light. His blue eyes shine with unspoken delight as he slowly examines the treat in his hands. He looked at you, then back at the treat, then put it down sadly in his lap.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as you crossed your legs beside him.

“I…” he gestured vaguely to his face, “I don’t look very… Pretty.”

You snorted, “So? I look at my uncle every day; whatever you look like is bound to be a million times better.”

He shook his head gravely, “No. I assure you that what’s under here is far worse than you can imagine.”

You uncrossed your legs and leaned your elbows on your knees. Carefully, you turned to look at him properly, “You really think it’s that bad?”

“I know it’s that bad.”

You hummed as you drummed your fingers on your chin.

“You’re really not comfortable eating while I’m here?” you asked sadly.

“I just don’t want to upset you,” he wilted under your scrutiny.

You looked around carefully before your eyes lit up.

“I’m so stupid. Why don’t I just turn around?” you offered brightly.

The Axe glared at you, “How do I know you won’t peek at me? You’re not easy to trust.” 

You shrugged, “I think you’ll just have to trust me on this one. Also, I’ll be honest, you’re not too easy to trust either.”

The Axe’s stare was unwavering.

“I kept my promise before,” you pointed out, “doesn’t that speak for something?”

“It speaks to the fact you snuck out from under your uncle’s nose,” The Axe raised an eyebrow behind his monstrous dark hood.

You gave him a wry grin, “Well, if I didn’t, I would’ve broken my promise with you.”

The Axe shook his head tiredly, “I don’t think a pact with an executioner is worth a rift in your own home.”

“You’d be surprised,” you chirped.

The Axe observed you carefully. His watery eyes scanned you over once or twice before he chuffed, “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“It’s more fun that way, isn’t it?”

The Axe nodded from side to side with a disapproving hum. Instead of arguing, he simply sighed and said, “Well, turn around then. If you think a promise to an executioner is worth that much, then so be it.”

“It’s more than worth it,” you said as you gathered your dress to be able to turn around on the log. You picked through the basket to pull out a bun and pulled it out to take a small bite. You hummed. Even though the buns were a few days old, they were still as fresh as ever. You couldn’t help but wonder once more if your uncle had his oven enchanted. With how good everything that came out of it was, you wouldn’t be surprised.

You were brought back to reality by a small whimper behind you. You instinctively went to turn but caught yourself at the last second. The whimper came from behind again.

“Is everything okay?” you asked quietly.

You heard a thick swallow.

“It’s…” The Axe paused briefly, “it’s so sweet. I’ve never had something like this before.”

Your hands dropped to your lap.

“You’ve really never had a honey bun before.”

His hood shuffled softly as he shook his head, “No. I’ve only had honey five times in my life.”

“Five times?” you parroted weakly.

“Five,” he replied, “twice as a boy I had a spoonful of honey, once at my mother’s funeral I drank tea, once at my father’s I had honey mead, and now today I’ve had a honey bun for the first time.”

You could hardly imagine being deprived of such a basic luxury as honey. Not a single lick of the amber to cross your lips for years. How many years? You were about to try and figure it out when you realized a glaring issue in your data.

“Just how old are you, Axe?” you asked.

“I’m coming on twenty-two cycles(8) now,” he told you quietly.

“I’m coming into my twentieth,” you replied, “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have honey with my herbs(9)”

You heard The Axe shuffle awkwardly beside you before letting out a long sigh through his nose. You could hear his hood shuffle again.

“You haven’t turned to look at me,” he whispered.

You looked up at the treeline encircling you both.

“I don’t really have need to,” you said as you admired the branches waving in the crisp wind, “I have so much to look at here.”

“What trees, boulders and orange blots(10)? You can’t be telling me that you find anything interesting over there,” The Axe teased you lightly.

“Well, I’ve never seen an executioner’s home before,” you explained as you looked at the lanterns wound through the trees before sloping over to the front of The Axe’s slanted roof, glinting like the stars themselves came down to grace you, “I don’t know if I’ll ever get another chance.”

You took another bite of the beetle meat bun. The meat was stringy, gamey, rich with fat that pooled into your mouth. A delectable treat for a simple baker’s niece, but not much for anyone else. It was strange to think that even this simple pleasure was beyond The Axe’s means.

The Axe took another bite of his bun, savoring each and every bit of the sweet treat. You listened to him turn again. He was silent for a moment. You wondered what a man like him could be thinking of, but he was quick to tell you himself.

“It doesn’t have to be the last time you come here,” his voice was nearly lost in the wind whispering through the trees.

The statement sat heavily between you both. The weight of his words hung on your shoulders, dragging them down to the leaf-covered dirt around you. The wind picked up briefly, sending waves of shimmering grass flowing through the clearing before it settled again. The metal lanterns clinked lightly above. In the distance, you could hear a spirit spook(12) chiming delicately in the breeze. It figured a man like him would need one by his home. You could only imagine how many had come to curse his name.

You looked up at the glittering stars above, winking at you from their place in the blackened sky. They seemed to stare down at you, interested in what your next move would be. A follower of Halax, a follower of life and creation, being welcomed in by a follower of Criah, a follower of death and grief. The gods surely must have been entertained by the show put on for them that night. To see two mortals sitting there, struggling against their fates like they had any chance to slow the weaving of the tapestry, as though their little fingers could undo the binding that had been formed long before they breathed life into their lungs; surely, there couldn’t be a more entertaining act under the cover of Densis’s(11) cloak.

“It doesn’t.”

You heard yourself more than you spoke. It was surreal to hear those two simple words pass your lips, and yet they hammered your souls together inseparably.

“It doesn’t,” The Axe repeated with a hint of excitement, “you could come again. We could do things together.”

“What sorts of things would a baker and an executioner do together?” you laughed sorrowfully. 

The Axe was quiet for a moment, then said, “We could talk to each other.”

“About what?” you asked.

“About whatever we liked,” he offered, “without the fear of others hearing.”

You watched the stars twinkle overhead approvingly.

“It would be nice to be free,” you replied.

“It would be,” The Axe replied, “we could say whatever we liked. We could honestly be ourselves. Nobody could tell us what we could and couldn’t say to each other. Nobody would stop us from being true to ourselves.”

You took another bite of the bun and let a drop of grease dribble down your chin.

“If nothing else…” The Axe said carefully, “it would be nice to have company.”

You nodded solemnly. The forest around you dimmed its nocturnal din to listen to you two lost souls pontificate together, pondering the possibilities of what could be. What would be, if only you let it.

“When would we meet though?” you asked, “and how could we meet? You know people in the village will start asking questions.”

“The cover of Luit’s light does wonders,” The Axe mused, “but I need to sleep. I can’t stay up late like this often. Neither can you. Your work is more steady than mine. I can… We can… You go to the local church, ja?”

You nodded slowly, “I go. I go often, actually. I need to deliver goods to the church regularly.”

“Then why not meet there?” The Axe offered, “under the watch of Father Kim. Who could possibly stop you from devoting yourself to the church?”

You smiled at the thought of meeting a follower of Criah in Halax’s home.

“Would you be welcome there?” you asked.

“Father Kim is a good friend,” The Axe replied eagerly, “he would be willing to find us a place where we can be apart from others.”

“Are you even allowed on church grounds?” you asked warily.

“I am,” The Axe sniffed, “any follower of any god is welcome in a holy sanctuary. I do not need to be devoted to Halax to be invited into her house.”

You shook your head bitterly.

“You’re barely given a seat at the tavern,” you said sternly, “how can Father Kim possibly allow you on hallowed grounds? Surely you’ve been banned? I know from talking to others that people like you are never wed in the church.”

The Axe sighed heavily.

“I am not allowed to wed there, yes, but there is a pew for me in there,” he said, “you don’t see it because I’m in the room below with the other forgotten people of the village. I am able to listen through the grate beneath Father Kim’s feet.”

“There’s a grate at his feet!?” you nearly turned around again to stare at him.

“Eyes forward,” he warned you before softening his tone, “yes, there’s a grate. There’s only a few pews in the basement, but we’re joined by the Sisters of Halax when we go. Maybe, if we go to church together, I can show you.”

You fiddled with your thumbs in your lap, the last of the bun now gone.

“It sounds interesting,” you admitted thoughtfully, “and you’ve been a good man to me so far. You’ve not done anything to hurt me. Actually, you’ve been nothing but good to me. You even protected me from any curses. You could’ve let me into your home, but you were kind enough to stop me.”

“I would never hurt an innocent person,” The Axe said swiftly.

You frowned at that. The Axe surely couldn’t be so simple, could he? The way he phrased ‘innocent’ had your hackles raised in your seat. Why would he specifically use that term? Was he truly a creature of the court? He couldn’t be so naive as to think that the justice system was completely without fault. No man could be that foolish, particularly not one so close to the action.

“Are you sure about that?” you asked warily, “haven’t you considered that an innocent man has been on your chopping block before?”

You heard the hood shuffle quickly behind you. It almost sounded as though he was shaking his head.

“I only execute the guilty,” The Axe said firmly, “Judge Holten only sends guilty men to stand or kneel before me. He is a good judge, and a better man. He may not like me, but I have faith in him and his abilities. He hasn’t let me down once before. I think you’ll find he has a faultless record. I like to think that he’s been blessed by the gods with insight and honor. So no, I am sure of what I said. Judge Holten would never send an innocent man my way. I have full faith in his convictions.”

You squirmed in your seat slightly, but said nothing to counter him. Something told you to try and contradict him would lead to a full blown argument. No man ever spoke so surely unless he lived and died by those very words. A part of you had the feeling that The Axe needed to live by those words. If he didn’t… You shuddered at the thought of what sort of man he would be.

“I assure you,” The Axe said to you gently, “I would never harm you. Again, I would never harm an innocent citizen. I am not a good man, but I am a just man. I am an honest man at heart. I wouldn’t harm a hair on your head if I could help it.

“Unless, of course, you were to commit some egregious crime of some sort,” his tone softened to a morose whisper, “please… Please tell me you won’t don’t do anything of that sort. I… I don’t know if I could live with putting a rope around the neck of the first person to treat me with kindness willingly. I don’t know what I’d do with myself.”

You reached back behind you and brushed your palm against his back soothingly. You tried to push the cold chill crawling over your skin down, blame it on the cool wind and the black sky, not on the words of a man who believed that justice could do no wrong. You didn’t want to think about his words, but you figured you might as well try and placate him.

“I assure you I have no plans to do so,” your face split into an uncomfortable smile, “but… Even though I’ve been kind to you, you would still execute me? Even though I’m the first to actually try and get to know you? The first to really try and be your friend?”

The Axe sighed, “I promise you that I would ensure your end would be quick and painless. Even if I was ordered to nip you with the tongs or screw your thumbs, I wouldn’t dare do that to you. I would never do that to someone I care about like you. I may not have known you for long, but what you’ve done for me in these past two days is more than anyone else in my entire life.

“I would not draw out your death for the court even if they begged me. I would ensure that you would go quickly,  honorably.”

“Then you’d take me out with that big axe of yours?” you asked.

“I’d ensure it,” The Axe promised, “I don’t know if you’re aware, I assume there’s rumours in the village but I might as well settle them here and now. Many generations ago, that axe was enchanted to be sharper, to cut more easily. It’s designed to cut through flesh, not wood. It was made to kill, not to maim like my firewood axe. I use my good axe to give quick deaths. Most people want to go by the sword, but I assure you that the axe is much better.”

“You don’t always give quick deaths?” you asked nervously.

“Sometimes I can’t,” The Axe shuffled awkwardly, “sometimes the court orders me to draw it out. Sometimes by using a duller blade like my firewood axe or the rusted sword, sometimes through a drawn out death, like the wheel or being stretched.

“I… I don’t like to hurt anyone. Guilty or not, I don’t care. I just want to ensure it’s done as quickly and easily as possible. I don’t like drawn out deaths, even if they’re asked for. I assure you I don’t. But if I don’t do it, somebody worse would. You understand that, right? At least if I do it I ensure that they suffer less than they could have by somebody else’s hands. 

“In my guild, you know, my career guild, I speak to executioners across the land. I’ve learned what those men are like, both from my own experience and through my own poor father. I witnessed these men and I can tell you that they can be vile. I hate to be among some of them. Many are like me, but some are…” The Axe bristled under your touch, “they are sick. Sick and rotten men. If there is one group of guilty men that walk free, it would eb them. I pray you never are unfortunate enough to meet such men in your life. You’d be blessed not to. Or, maybe, maybe I was cursed to meet them. That seems a bit more sensible.”

You closed your eyes and let out a slow breath. Of course The Axe would be honest. He was the hand of justice, he had to be righteous and true. He was expected to uphold the image of the court, even when being spat upon by the families of the deceased after lopping off their loved one’s heads. You’d seen him be slapped by old widows of hideous criminals, seen men try to strangle him over their wives’ bodies. He took all these beatings calmly, stoically, like the perfect picture of the court. He’d let them hit him and curse him until they went to far, and then he’d throw them back to the earth and let them scurry on their way. You could only imagine how their hatred was burned into the very essence of his being.

And yet, The Axe took it all without a single stumble. He uttered no more than a grunt when a man tried to stab his gut. He only tossed the blade aside and thrown the man down, then lowered his axe above his chest. You’d seen the man falter, look up at those impartial eyes and realize what he’d nearly done. If anything, The Axe could be an entirely merciful face of the court.. He was the perfect executioner. If nothing else, that much was about the only good thing regularly said about him in the village. He was the perfect face of the court’s axe. Impervious to suffering, yet compassionate enough to let them take out their rage on him.

But, at the end of it all, he was the source of their rage. Sometimes, sometimes it was for terrible reasons. Terrible, terrible reasons indeed.

“You torture too,” you whispered as softly as the wind blew through the long dead grass.

“I must,” The Axe replied swiflty.

“Do you…” you shuddered at the question, “you don’t like doing it, do you? You said you don’t, but, what do you think when you do it? How do you feel about it?”

The Axe shivered under your hand ferociously.

“I hate doing it,” he admitted bluntly, “were I born any other man I could bring love and joy into this world the likes of which could change the very soil we are born from. I can try to be this force when I help heal wounds of the injured and maimed, but there’s only so much I can do. I was born of death and I am shackled to it forever,” The Axe sniffled slightly, “but if given a chance, I would throw down this axe in an instant and I’d heal the unfortunate for the rest of my life. I’d devote to my father’s studies, learn the herbs of this land and save the wretched from the hands of the grave. I would be good. I would be pure, of heart and soul and mind alike.”

You frowned, “You heal wounds? You’re joking. You’re an executioner; you’re a killer, not a healer. You can’t really be trying to tell em that you are a healer.”

“When the apothecary and the doctor cannot set broken bones or suture wounds, they call upon me,” The Axe explained, “I have… I have a great deal of experience in mending great wounds.”

“Wounds you inflict?” you asked, unable to hide the sharp cold edge to your words.

The Axe flinched as you drew your hand into your lap.’

“Forgive me,” he whispered, “but it is not my choice to be this man. As I said, were I anything other than this, was I born of any other man, I could sow the earth with good seed and save the damned. I sometimes think that if I had another chance, I would’ve been like Father Kim and given my body to one of the gods. I think that I was always destined to follow Criah, but maybe I could’ve helped those families grieve. I could’ve cured the sick of their afflictions, I could’ve been good.”

You took in a deep breath, holding it in for a count of four before letting it all out slowly. He was an executioner, he was a torturer, and he was a medic? On top of it all, he had dreams of being a holy man, though no church would ever welcome him into their arms. No man like him could ever be forgiven. And so, to reconcile these parts was to find beauty in dung, but you tried to do so regardless. You supposed he was also known as one of the chief morticians of the town as well. You’d heard plenty of stories of how he’d been whipped by widows in the middle of funeral ceremonies. Sometimes, he was supposed to be burned for as many crimes as the victim had committed. You could only imagine how many scars covered his body by this point in his life. Supposedly, to maim the man who’d been ordered to kill your loved ones was to give some sense of grievance to the family. It was meant to help them heal from the loss. You only hoped that Criah approved.

“It’s not your choice to do it,” you admitted, “I don’t think any sane person would choose to live your life.”

“As I said before, some do,” The Axe interjected harshly, “and it’s those men that I despise.”

You shuddered at the thought. A large hand settled to warm your shoulder.

“I am not one of those men,” he assured you, “and I never will be. You have my word on that. Not just as a man, but as the axe of the court. I swear to you I am not, never have been, and never will be that sort of man. I am a monster, but I’m a monster of men’s making. I was not born of corrupted flesh.”

“And I have your word as the axe of the court?” you asked shakily.

“My word and my heart,” he replied gravely.

You sighed, ever so slightly relaxing. It figured this conversation would come eventually between the both of you, but to be able to have his word so gravely was a comfort, at the very least. However…

“I want your soul in your promise too(13),” you said quietly.

The silence that came forth was sharp and twisted your insides with a rusted blade. He seemed to meditate on your words as they whispered around you, echoed back by the trees and the calls of nocturnal songbirds. The forest floor creeped and crawled with detrivores, with his kin. You watched as a centipede crawled out from a decaying leaf, curled around slowly before descending back underneath the leaf litter below. How you wished to join those small creatures. A part of you wished to die there, to not have to live in the silence that followed your ask.

You felt tension rising in the air. Pressure collapsed inwards, you saw the candle-lit lanterns flicker above with some unseen, unfelt force. No wind blustered, no frog croaked. All was still to listen to this deathly child’s answer.

“My soul is yours,” The Axe finally said, “I swear upon my soul that I am not a man who enjoys torturing and maiming like a lowly animal. I am a man of Criah. I swear to honor the dead and dying until I too join their ranks. I will not enjoy taking even the most heinous criminals to their graves. That is not the sort of oath I’ve made to my god. No matter what, no matter who or what they are, I promise that I never take delight in harming another soul.

“I should like to help them, if possible. One day, I would like to put down this axe once and for all. I’d like to spread peace and life. I wish to be a doctor, or maybe a cleric of the church. I know that such a wretch as myself is not welcome, but if given a chance I would like to save others that have been damned from birth like myself. I truly wish to break these bone shackles that chain me to the grave. I wish to rise above and see life prosper. I…” he hiccupped under his breath, “I wish to be good. I want to be a good man. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I hate this life I live, but there’s nothing I can do to escape it. Nobody will train an executioner’s son. I was damned from birth, but if just given a chance…”

You smiled faintly.

“Is your hood in place?” you asked.

“I finished the bun a while back,” The Axe said, “it’s in place. Why?”

Without another word you turned and hugged the giant man with both arms. He stiffened at the touch, but soon his ice melted and he embraced you back.

When you pulled away, you could see a shine of tears in his eyes.

“Nobody has ever listened to me before,” he said quietly.

“I think more people should,” you replied, “you’ve a reputation as an honest man. You’ve been nothing but good to me, and never have you given me a reason to think you’re lying. I may not know you well, but Axe, I want to. I want to see the good man you can be.”

“I want to know you too,” his voice warbled behind his hood.

“Then we’ll know each other,” you promised him, “and we’ll be friends. We will be better together.”

“But how?” The Axe asked sadly, “when will we next meet? How can we next meet?”

You thought carefully. Your fingers drummed a steady pattern on your thigh as you straddled the large log. You kicked your dangling feet before pulling yourself to sit beside him properly.

“I think we can meet at the church,” you replied, “I can say that I’m seeing Father Kim and visit you as well. I still need to see Father Kim, of course, but maybe I could make time for you too.”

“But when?” The Axe asked mournfully, “now that I know another’s touch, I can’t bear to be apart from you for long.”

“We won’t be,” you assured him as you soothingly touched his arm, “I have to bring in the weekly rations on the first of every god-watch. I do so halfway during the eighth watch every wake.”

“Halfway through the eighth watch on Halaxwake?” The Axe asked you desperately, drowning in possibilities.

“Halfway through the eighth watch on Halaxwake,” you confirmed, soothing him with your soft smile.

The Axe scanned through his mental list, you could see his eyes searching side to side as he sat scouring his mind for any possible conflicts, but soon he turned to you with a mirthful crinkle in his eyes, “I think I can manage that.”

“It might not be very long, but I promise you I’ll make it worthwhile,” you assured him.

The Axe shook his head, “Don’t be sorry. Any time with you is a breath of life after drowning alone for so long.”

You frowned and held his hand tightly.

“I don’t want to go back,” you admitted, “I wish I could stay here with you.”

“But you must,” The Axe told you, “if you stayed, it would be a worse fate for both of us.”

“I think my Auntie might drop dead of shock if she knew I was here with you of all people,” you chuckled, then glanced at Luit falling down into the horizon, taking with her Densis’s cloak of stars, “I need to get back soon.”

“How soon?” The Axe asked.

“As soon as I can,” you admitted.

The Axe looked around briefly, then stood and urged for you to follow him. He brought you out back behind his home to a small ramshackle stable.

He clucked his tongue, and a soft chittering noise came from within the singular stall.

“Meet Hunter,” he said gently as he opened the stall door for you, “she’s my riding beetle.”

You looked in the stall to find a massive beetle. She stood on six tall spindly legs and stared down at you from atop an even longer neck. Her sharp mandibles clicked as she slowly woke and stared down at her new visitor.

“You have a riding beetle?” you wondered aloud, “I thought those were a luxury! Or, well, that’s what my uncle says whenever I tell him to get one.”

“When I had to travel to other towns for work I put in a request to the council,” The Axe explained, “I expected a rejection letter, but a pigeon told me I’d be getting a beetle. She’s young, I had to tame her myself and she was quite the handful, but they gave me a surprisingly fine beetle in the end.”

“She looks like a stalking beetle(14),” you looked up at her, her little black head at least ten feet above yours while bent.

“She’s part stalking beetle, yes,” The Axe said, “but she’s also part station beetle(15).”

“How’d they get that mix? Wouldn’t they eat each other!?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’m no beetle breeder, but Hunter’s been a good friend to me through the years,” The Axe said as he saddled her up, “now come on, we don’t have much time before the first collection-vigil(16).”

You hissed at the reminder and grabbed The Axe’s hand to help haul you up onto the beetle’s back. You scrambled and slipped across the smooth carapace but soon managed to sit yourself in front of the large man.

“Not used to riding beetles?” The Axe asked as he set off towards the mill.

“My uncle refuses to get one,” you explained, “I want one to pull a cart to town though. Walking can take so long sometimes.”

“Well, Hunter could do that,” The Axe mused, “but she might be fussy about it. I also think using a court-approved beetle to draw a simple wagon wouldn’t go unnoticed either. I can only imagine the outrage when you show up with my beetle pulling your wagon.”

“Well,” you sighed as you settled your back against The Axe’s chest, “a girl can dream.”

The Axe chuckled, “That she certainly can.”

Luit - The Moon, often called the Older Sister

Lui - a small asteroid orbiting Luit, often referred to as the Younger Sister or Luit’s Servant

Winterwood - A species of deciduous tree that grows in the north. Known to be quite a soft wood, it grows quickly and is often used for furnishings of a home. Its cheapness adds to its versatility. Earned the name ‘winterwood’ for how pale the wood is (almost resembling the snow) and how it begins growing in winter.

Densis’s Watch - The way of saying night/night time. Opposite of Brak-hah’s-watch, which means day/daylight

Wormglow - In older times a brilliant worm(6) was strapped to a stick or put in a glass cage and used to light the night. These days, most people use an enchanted piece of metal on the top of a stick or in a glass lantern to be able to see in the dark. Most people fashion the metal to resemble a brilliant worm, partially to stay true to the origins but mostly to enhance the glow. 

Brilliant Worms - A twelve centimeter long caterpillar that grows a brilliant yellowish-green colour when they are feeding or communicating to other brilliant worms. In older times, they were captured and starved during the day to be fed at night. Over time, the practice was considered cruel, and by this time it has been phased out almost completely

Criah - God of death, grief, hope and forgiveness. Also known as the Weeping Father or the the Howling God.

Cycle - A year. One cycle consists of four turning times (seasons). Each turning time is broken up into two moons (months). Every moon has five god-watches (weeks) composed of ten wakes (days) broken into 10 watches (hours).

Herbs - Another way of saying tea in this world

Orange Blots - A large orange and black-speckled squash with a notably soft and delicate white flesh. Used for soups or deserts, much like a pumpkin.

Densis - Goddess of night and dreams, wife of Criah

Spirit Spook - Sounds like a wind chime. Used as a way to ward off evil spirits from the lower realm and keep away bad luck. Has varying results.

Soul - Soul is the reason that things be. The reason rocks atomically are structured as rocks, the reason lightning crosses the sky and lands in one spot on the earth, the reason men laugh and dance and sing. Soul is most powerful in living beings (though everything in existence has soul), but even then some life has more soul than others. Mammalian species like dwarves, gnomes, elves and humans, for example, have much weaker soul than that of plantkin and much weaker mushroom folk. However, they have stronger soul than the chiton clan (insect folk). In this context, to swear a promise upon your soul is to bind your very being to the promise. Some mages will go so far as to enchant their words to keep these promises, but most cannot do so, and thus just say it to convey the most important promises.

Stalking Beetle - A black and red beetle (sometimes white, black and red or white and black) with a long, long neck and a pointed snout. Looks somewhat like a giraffe weevil with a more articulated neck (think like a snake). Excellent hunters. Are very dangerous in combat because of their long necks, sharp mandibles and good eyes. Can fly short distances, but not commonly. Very spritely and difficult to train for their energetic nature. Used by members of the court or light infantry. Known to be expensive to keep. Thankfully, Hunter is more herbivorous than most due to her cross-breeding  and is thus cheaper to feed. Naturally carnivorous, trained to be omnivorous in captivity. 

Station Beetle - A pretty drab looking beetle, usually brown or black (rarely albino white). They are slow but steady beetles that make up a good portion of riding beetles. There are a few subspecies, but most look like either big dung beetles or flour beetles. Usually very good natured. Has poor eyesight but excellent smell and can be trained to follow scents from town to town. Can fly medium distances when provoked. Often used by countrymen to travel from town to town, almost like small cars. Though called station beetles, typically are only for transporting a family and not for hauling carts or stations. Mostly herbivorous. 

Konig Dump

Alternate Universes

Part Two

[theoceanoasis]

AU where Megatron, Soundwave, and Hot Rod are in a relationship before the war. They're all happily together but Megatron and Soundwave are still leading the Decepticons to get equal rights. It causes a target to be put on Hot Rod's head so they have no choice but to reluctantly have Hot Rod go into hiding, going back to his home city Nyon.

When Nyon burns to the ground, they're unable to find Hot Rod among the survivors they come across. Both Megatron and Soundwave mourn the loss of their partner and swear vengeance on the Senate and its followers for allowing a city to fall into such ruins, along with all the other grievances they have with the world.

Centuries pass and, one day, a neutral colony on another planet is getting dragged into the conflicts with Decepticons and Autobots because there's an attempt to recruit the Neutrals. Megatron and Soundwave make a visit to the colony to personally recruit them and the Neutrals are shocked to see them - Because they both share similarities to a bitlet who is being raised by a single carrier. They follow the directions of the hab where they come across an amnesiac Hot Rod caring for their bitty all by himself.

They're so relieved he's safe and sound and had their bitty and raised him so well.. Megatron and Soundwave introduce themselves and do their best to not scare a confused Hot Rod, who does feel like these two are familiar...

Soundwave wrapped his arms around his mate pulling him close just as a gun fired. Hot Rod looked at the smoking mark. Stunned because he'd just been standing there and if it wasn't for Soundwave he'd be dead.

His Conjunx pulled him off the stage with Megatron following and issuing orders to his fellow Decepticons to seize the one responsible.

He'd gotten death threats before but this was the first time someone tried to assassinate him.

After they'd been taken care of he was sitting on his bed looking at Soundwave and Megatron. Both his mates seemed upset with Megatron pacing. His hands occasionally clenching in rage.

"We all knew this was a possibility and I'm fine."

"Because Soundwave got you out of the way in time. What if he hadn't been there?"

"I'm fine. I chose to stand by you remember. I know the risks and fighting for our freedom is more important."

"Not as important as your life."

Soundwave shook his head.

"There's a transport to Nyon leaving tomorrow. I want you on it."

"What are you saying?"

He looked between his mates.

"Just until things blow over."

"I've gotten reports of Sentinels forces being seen around Nyon."

"What!?"

He looked at Soundwave in worry and surprise.

"Go to Nyon and help your people. We'll still be here when you get back."

He nodded reluctantly spoiler lowering.

"Fine but at the first sign of trouble I'm coming back here."

"We know."

They spent the night holding each other and slowly making love feeling every part of each other.

In the morning he was sitting on a transport leaving Kaon behind as he traveled to Nyon.

Both Soundwave and Megatron missed their Conjunx wishing they didn't have to send him away. They called every night letting their mates voice soothe them.

All three of them couldn't wait to be reunited. Especially Hot Rod who had a surprise for them.

Sadly it would never come because Zeta had destroyed Nyon. They stared at the ruins on TV and broke down. They collapsed to the floor holding each other and vowing vengeance for their Beloved.

They still went to Nyon. It was impossible not to. Both of them were hoping to at least find his body. The entire way there they blamed themselves for his death thinking if only they didn't send him away.

There were a few survivors all of them talked about Hot Rods sacrifice promising to join the Decepticons in his honor.

They stared at the ruins of Nyon. Hot Rods beloved city which was now gone forever along with their mate. It was so much worse in person and when they stumbled towards his apartment there was nothing left.

They spent what felt like days lost in a haze digging in the hopes of finding his body. Anything to comfort them but none would be found.

It only made their hatred stronger and their fellow Decepticons rallied around them as they marched to Iacon swearing revenge.

The war was long underway with the Decepticons and Autobots clashing in bloody battles. At first it was only on Cybertron but quickly spread.

The Autobots had begun recruiting on other planets spreading their doctrine to undecided neutrals.

The Decepticons quickly reached out in the hopes of stopping them from being deceived by the Autobots.

Knowing hkw important it was to gather more troops Megatron and Soundwave personally paid a visit.

When they'd gotten there the neutrals were shocked to see them which was strange because they knew they were coming. It was hard for them to go anywhere without everyone knowing.

Soundwave had been curious and decided to do some digging. Using his cassettes they spied on the neutrals who spoke of a bitty looking just like them. He lived on the edge of town with his single carrier. When they'd found him he'd still been sparked and had lost his memory. Stumbling through the nearby forests all alone.

They'd gone to visit him. Curious about this neutral and his bitty. Knocking on the door they didn't know what they'd expected, but it wasn't Hot Rod answering the door with his bitty playing behind him.

They stared at him in shock almost crashing at the sight of their dead lover. Hot Rod had stared at them puzzled because there was something familiar about them.

"Do I know you?"

"Yes?"

Megatron gasped looking at him in awe.

"You don't remember us but we are your Conjunx."

Hot Rod stared at them in shock and looked back at his sparkling taking in the similarities he invited them inside.

They tried not to scare him as they told him about his past showing him pictures of their bonding ceremony. Hot Rod looked at them in awe happy to finally know where he came from.

"Did you know I was sparked?"

"No. But before Nyon was destroyed you told us you had good news but wanted to tell us in person."

Hot Rod introduced his sparkling who was adorable and they looked at him in awe already feeling a connection.

"You did a good job raising him."

"Thanks."

Hot Rod blushed suddenly getting a memory. He gasped looking at them in amazement.

"Being around you is helping me get my memory back."

"Then maybe we can be around you more often if you'd like."

Hot Rod nodded.

"You should spend more time with your sparkling and I don't remember a lot of things but I can tell we meant a lot to each other."

Even though they were trying to be careful in fear of scaring him off. They both hugged him happy he was alive and they got this second chance.

[billie-reportingbadnews2you]

The other woman/A billie eilish fanfic

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood and sex, kissing 18+!!

it had been three years since you and billie had started dating, it was great the were pro's, having the most jaw-dropping gorgeous girlfriend in the world, she was understanding, kind, funny as fuck, and just the best, and the con's, she was barely around she was in her studio, at interview's, out with her friends, concerts, or somewhere else, but all of that aside she was always at home.

"Baby I'm home" you jumped off your bed from reading and raced down the stairs, your eyes met hers along with a smile that you adored, you ran up to her and jumped in her arms, she stumbled back and grabbed you head with one arm and your leg with the other, "missed me" you missed that distinct smell of her "Of course I did" you shared a quick but romantic kiss before hoping off her and holding arms, you ears crept up when you heard another voice coming from billie's car, a tallish red head stumbled into your house with a couple grocery bags, she kicked her shoes off and gave you a big hug swaying from side to side "Y/n this is Marie, she'll be staying for a couple weeks while she's in town" a kind inviting smile crept across your face as you welcomed her "Wow I can't believe I'm Infront of THE Y/n!! it is such an honor Billie's had told me so much about you" you rubbed your arms anxiously "Yeah that's Billie for you" she had a little dance of excitement before speaking again "So sorry to bother but where will I be staying?". "Oh you'll be staying in the gues-" "OUR, our room, she'll be staying in our room" billie spoke as you looked at you "I mean I wouldn't mind but there is plenty of spare rooms and barely enough room for two of us" billie cleared her throat "Well Marie told me earlier that she would prefer to sleep with us because she finds it more comfortable" Marie nodded in agreement "Well i better retrieve my stuff" "I'll help" billie said as they practically raced out the door.

You unpacked the groceries looking at all the things, orange juice, cereal, eggs, just essentials really. You went upstairs for a shower, you turned the tap on hearing billie and Marie laugh as you walked back into the house followed by footsteps leading into your room, you were happy billie had a friend staying but a little jelly, after your shower you dried your hair got dressed and walked back to your room, you opened the door to see Marie holding billie's arm as the laughed at something from her phone "there's my princess, how was your shower" you sighed in relief "good thanks" you looked at the bed Marie had set everything up, almost nothing on the bed was yours anymore "h-h ahem how will I sleep?" billie and Marie looked at each other in worrying "Unfortunately your comment was correct, sorry babe there isn't any room, would you be able to stay in the guest room just until Marie leaves" your heart dropped "y-yeah uhm sure I don't mind" "thanks babe that means a lot, your stuff is already there" billie blew you a kiss goodnight before you closed the door, you were taking in everything that just happened, the laughing, arm holding, the guest room already made, I mean I guess that parts sweet but don't you think that a bit weird, hmm maybe you were just getting protective you shook off the eerie feeling before retaining your posture and walking into the guest room.

you got into bed and fell asleep withing an instant, you woke up with a streak of light directly from the blinds, you heard billie and Marie laugh downstairs, you brushed your hair and teeth and put on clothes you waltzed down stairs to see them enjoying breakfast, "Morning princess" billie hugged you from behind leading to a kiss on the neck "Breakfast is in the oven y/n" Marie added, you opened the oven revealing cold eggs and burnt toast, you smile faded, you shut the oven door turning around and heading to the fridge, maybe just a glass of milk, you opened the door just to see soy milk "Sorry babe Marie can't have dairy, your not gonna eat" you put a fake smile on before turning around "Not hungry" simple and blunt, exactly how you were feeling, you angrily went upstairs and shut the door to the guest room, you opened Instagram maybe a photo of your beloved would cheer you up? nope it was a picture of billie and maire Infront of a car, taken last night? what, I thought they fell asleep knock knock you nearly jumped from the knock "come in" the doorknob turned as billie walked in and sat next to you "hey you've seemed a bit upset these last couple of days, you alright?" you wanted to blurt all your feelings out as you knew she was understanding but you didn't, "yep just a bit tired is all" "are you sure?" "a'hundered percent, I didn't know you and Marie went out last night" billie went slightly pale "Well Marie was a bit homesick so I thought a little trip wouldn't hurt, and you were fast asleep, please don't be upset, she's just a friend" you clenched your phone harder "yeah I understand" she rubbed you back before standing up and getting on your lap, she leaned in for a kiss but you dodged it, you both sat in silent for a good minute "u-uh I'm sorry I don't know why I did that" billie got up a bit awkwardly "no I understand you need some time, text me when you wanna talk" she said without looking at you, she coughed awkwardly "me and Marie are going out will be back in a bit, l-love you" she said while opening and closing the door, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, you took a deep breath, you completely just blocked her kiss.

You had no idea what had been happening since Marie came over, you didn't know what it was? were you being overprotective? jealous? you just couldn't put your finger on it.

For the next couple of days you and Billie had been extremely distant, you really didn't say anything to each other, you always saw billie try to approach you but well turn around, for the next week it was you and the world, Marie had gotten uncomfortably close to Billie, to the point where it slightly pissed you off.

You woke up to the sound of a loud thud, you had no time to brush your hair or even change you were to alarmed, you shot out of your bed tripping over your sheet, you ran downstairs expecting to see a door smashed or a paining fallen but no instead it was Marie, standing above a champagne cup, but not just any cup the one Billie gifted you before she asked you to be here girlfriend, you were absolutely furious were steaming with anger, and i think Marie knew that as well "Oh my god i am so sorry" the redhead knelt down helping you pick up the glass, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear" you scurried "You know i didn't think i glass of wine would be inappropriate, but the glass said otherwise". Great now she thinks she has humor, you continued to pick the broken cup up and its remains when one poked you right in the palm piercing your skin, making you drop everything and cradle it with your other hand, you shut your eyes squeezing your hand making the surrounding skin a yellowish, pale color. Billie rushed down the stairs "oh my god Marie, Y/n are you guys okay?" she picked her baggy pants making it easier to run and she came to assist you, you gasped in pain and you leaned up a cupboard behind you, "Hehe sorry Billie, i though a glass of wine wouldn't hurt" blah blah, guess who it did hurt, billie chuckled a bit before Marie stoop up, standing in a pile of glass you had created and falling forward, Billie caught her with most of her chest, they were practically kissing with how close they were, the tension was strong, Marie slowly leaned in, you almost jumped and right about damn slapped Marie, but billie snapped out of it, she continued to carry Marie like a princess out of the mess, while you were sulking on a bench with blood practically covering your entire hand, "Babe can you get the first aid kid for Marie? oh and go have a shower, you look like you've seen a ghost" you heart is completely broken, you had to keep it together, Marie is leaving tomorrow, you can do this, it was as if nothing happening in the evening.

Billie and Marie laughing as usual while you could barely read because your now swollen hand, you fell asleep in no time you woke up pretty early, 6AM huh, Marie's plane is at 8AM so maybe a long shower wouldn't hurt, you finished you shower as you could hear muffled whispers from the hall "We might have time" the other voice, a bit deeper spoke "What if she gets out? and catches us" who's "she" and who's "us" your curiosity go the better of you, you quickly got dressed not to alarm the people in the hallway, you slowly walked towards the room that the voices were coming from ,while drops of water left a trail from the shower, you could hear giggling, but it was a bit more clearer "We have to be quiet baby, she might hear us" BABY? BILLIE, who is she talking to "Oh who even gives a fuck about your asshole girlfriend, I'm the better kisser, and if you couldn't tell last night also the better in bed i assume" your jaw dropped, your eyes started to water, your girlfriend of 3 years, the trusting one, the understanding one had just called another girl her "baby" Marie was a try hard, but your own girlfriend calling her so called "friend" baby cut deeper than the scar already left in your palm "well she isn't bad in bed she just fails to pleasure me, and i haven't kissed you yet , how about we test who's better?" You could hear that annoying haunting laugh of Marie's laugh "well i can definitely agree to both of those" the was a split second before you heard kissed sounds, you were so enraged with anger, sadness, hate and betrayal , you didn't care anymore, you angrily pulled the knob causing the door to fly open, and to you surprise Marie and Billie were in the middle of making out, your dropped to the floor in betrayal, it took a second before they heard the thud, Marie cut the kiss and stared at you blankly on the floor with the slightest smirk on the corner of her lips, "fuck baby you go me so ready for you right now" billie said, her eyes fluttered opened still looking at Marie but at the corner of her eye she saw you, she completely turned her head, her face going completely pale, she looked at you like she had literally just seen a ghost, her bottom lip shaking as she tried to speak "Y/n, i-i, this isn't what it looks like i swear" she jumped off the bed helping you up but once you stood you were done with this whole freak show Marie had put you through, billie stumbled back onto the bed "I KNEW IT, THIS WHOLE 3 WEEKS I KNEW MARIE AND YOU WERE UP TO SOMETHING, BUT NO BECUASE IM A KIND LOVING AND FUCKING TRUSTING EX GIRLFRIEND I BRUSHED IT OFF, BUT YOU KNEW SO DAMN WELL WHAT MARIE WAS DOING YOU JUST GODDAMN BRUSHED IT OFF, FROM THE ARM HOLDING TO BREAKING , OUR ANNIVERSARY CUP, AND THEN YOU TENDED TO MARIE AS IF MY HAND WASN'T DRIPPING IN BLOOD, 3 FUCKING YEARS BILLIE, DOWN THE DRAIN" you let it all out, finally, you could visibly see that Billie knew how angry you were, she looked terrified, "and you know what, quite frankly I'm done, you and Marie can continue this little love story but I'm done, were fucking done" as soon as billie heard you break up with her she jumped off the bed, taking your arms in her hands preventing you from running off "NO BABY YOU DON'T MEAN THAT, I'M SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME, I DIDN'T REALIZE, PLEASE I LOVE YOU, MARIE MEAN'T NOTHING, IT WAS NOTHING" Marie sat on the bed scrolling through her bed as if there was a whole breakup a foot away from her all because of her.

"Oh billie just cut the bullshit, I'm tired, i tried i really did but this just isn't gonna work out, and you know what your horrible i bed, i just wanted to make you feel better" Billie stood there so much emotions in her face, "But my love….your MY woman, forget Marie, she was just nothing, please don't leave me" you shook off Billie as her head dropped to the floor "I'm not your 'love', if it took as much as three weeks to get Marie to sleep with you over a 3 year relationship, i guess I'm also not your woman, but there is always another woman, and Marie happened to be THE other woman you decided to ditch me for" billie started crying, but at this point you didn't care, you packed a small bag and left.

About a month after the breakup you were doing so much better, you took the case to court and you won, with the money you bought your own apartment, you had completely forgotten about Billie and Marie, you had blocked them both on all apps but for some reason you didn't block Billie on text, every year you would get a anonymous letter, every day on your birthday, you sat on the couch scrolling through your message but one caught your eye, you opened it without a second thought you read the paragraph "Hey Y/n its Billie, haven't talked in a while, i just really wanted to apologize for everything and i mean everything, i loved and still love you so much my love, me and Marie don't talk anymore, I'm sorry for what i did, please come back to me i miss you everything is so much empty without you, things can be the same as before, please baby i miss you" you scoffed but reluctantly took another look at the message, all the bad memories came flooding back your anxiety caught over, you started breaking down in tears, eventually falling asleep, should i talk to her, or not?

PART 2???

[rocknrolldecadence]

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮-------------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

on top

you always seem to be beneath izzy, in every aspect. you decide to change that.

warnings: smut buts its minimal, axl being annoying as per usual

a/n: my first fic guys… enjoy!!

it had always been like this. he was up on stage, you watching below, engulfed by the crowd. him, tuning his guitar and you carefully listening to the chords. him, up on the bed with you on knees in front of him. he was always above you. always.

guns n roses had another show tonight, and of course you were there. you had to be - you were the rhythm guitarist’s, izzy stradlin, girlfriend. you were friends with the rest of the band too, so staying home just wasn’t an option.

pressed up against the stage, the Whisky A Go Go seemed more alive tonight than ever. maybe it was the drinks you’d had during soundcheck, but something felt different. you felt different.

you stared up at your boyfriend, playing along to ‘my michelle’, a favourite of yours off their album. izzy’s fingers graced the strings of his guitar methodically, plucking them with both elegance and vigour. this was better than any playgirl magazine or calvin klein ad. wayyyyyy better.

you looked up and locked eyes with izzy, his black hair almost covering his eyes. he winked, and you felt like you’d hit with cupid’s arrow. he was just like that, ever since you had met him. a total flirt, but in the best way possible. a girl behind you mistakenly thought the wink was for her and screamed. you laughed. izzy looked away, looking at the the crowd in front of him. being at the side of the stage was always what you preferred. you got to be closer to him.

soon enough, the synth that opens ‘paradise city’ started, signalling the end of the gig. you shouted the lyrics along with the rest of the crowd, absorbing the energy. izzy glanced over at you as axl sang ‘and the girls are pretty’, and you blew him a kiss. he smiled and carried on with the playing. he was oblivious to what you were planning.

you loved your boyfriend, but you were tired of the power dynamic you had going on, the always-on-top thing izzy had. so when you finally went backstage, you set your plan into motion.

you found izzy in a dressing room along with the boys, chatting about how the show had went. you sat beside him, and he kissed you almost immediately. of course, you kissed back, ignoring axl's complaints of “get a room!” and steven’s giggles til you were done.“how did you find the show?” duff asked you. you two had been close since izzy introduced you to the band. laughing, you replied “nah it was shit. do better.” duff feigned hurt, clutching his palm to his chest.

“kidding, kidding. it was really good. i was right up at the edge of the stage, so i got to see all the action.” you giggled.

izzy grinned. knowing you enjoyed a gig always gave him an ego boost. maybe a hard-on too. he swung an arm around your neck, and you sunk into the embrace despite its casual nature. it felt good. natural. your bodies fit together like perfect puzzle pieces.

as the conversion progressed, there was no doubt the five men were high. they increasingly got more chatty, and the more chatty they were, the more giddy. so you decided it was time to leave.

“cmon izzy. let’s go.”

“awwww do we have to? i’m having fun here. you are too.”

“i am. but let’s go.”

your boyfriend reluctantly got up and held your hand. the boys protested, but it was late. you wanted to get home. so you could continue with the plan.

you got in the car, with izzy following. turning the key in the ignition, you sped away. phase two had begun.

“babe, is something wrong?” izzy questioned. his concern made you swoon, but you stayed focused. you wanted to make this work. you had to. you needed to teach this man a lesson.

you shook your head, but izzy wasn’t satisfied. the annoyance of being pulled away from his friends was getting to him. “cmon, tell me. this is no fair.” he groaned. you chuckled at his out of character complaints. izzy was normally a lot more cool than this. evidently, you weren’t the only one worked up.

you sighed, trying to figure out how to word this to your boyfriend. “just wanna…” you started. izzy gave you a curious glance. “wanna… try something. tonight.”

he smirked, the innuendo not lost on him despite how high he was. little did he know what you had in store for him.

“like what?”

“you’ll see.”

“just tell me.”

“be patient!”

izzy fell silent, too tired to argue back any further. you let out a sigh of relief in your head. this had to be a surprise. otherwise, he’d never learn.

soon enough, you pulled up to your shared apartment. and as soon as you were inside the doors, you kissed izzy like you never would again. the fervour caught him off guard, snapping him out of his tiredness. of course, you’d had a similar amount of passion many times before, but he could sense this was different. whatever it was, he liked it. he wanted more.

you pushed him up against a wall and continued the attack. this elicited a string of moans and groans from your boyfriend, ones you never would’ve imagined hearing before. izzy stradlin, making noises like this? izzy stradlin, being submissive? this was new. and you welcomed it.

“you like that, huh?”

“oh shut up.”

this was all the confirmation you needed - you had him wrapped around your finger.

things escalated, and pretty soon the two of you had retreated to your bedroom. you pushed your boyfriend onto the bed with a demanding force. izzy knew he was in for something good. he just had to go along with your wishes; and that he would do.

before he had even taken off his jeans yet, you could see izzy’s boner through his jeans.

“someone’s excited.”

“how could i not be?”

“i didn’t think you’d be so… accepting of this.”

“it’s new. it’s hot. i like it.”

now that got you going. you both undressed quickly, and before long, you were sinking onto izzy’s dick. you both moaned. it was basically routine at this point, but this time round? things were different. you were in control.

cowgirl wasn’t a position you’d tried before, but fuck did you love it. finally being on top of the man who was always on top you. the mix of shock and desire on his face. the power you had. it was perfect.

the roll of your hips finally sent both you and izzy over the edge, and you fell down beside him. you were warm. it felt good. different. the dark night made it hard to see, but you could just about make out the quick rise and fall of izzy’s chest. “did i go too hard?” you asked. you were scared that the newfound control had boosted your ego a bit too high.

“nah. it was… good,” izzy confessed. “reallyyy good.”

this wasn’t expected. izzy always had the power in the bedroom, so you didn’t know how he’d react to the change. he revelled in it, and so did you.

“that so?”

“what?”

“i really didn’t expect you to like that. you just… took it.”

“i mean, i told you i thought it was hot.”

you just chuckled.

“how long are you gonna tease me for?” izzy sighed.

“a while.”

[the-lancasters]

Royal Wedding of Robert and Alexandra Part Two, Windenburg

Thank you to @armoricaroyalty @trentonsimblr and @officalroyalsofpierreland for sending your sims to the wedding! 😁

Previous| Beginning  | Next

Transcript under the cut

Karen: Hello and welcome to INNs live coverage of the royal wedding between Prince Robert and Lady Alexandra Sinclair.

Today is the culmination of a proper royal love story. It all started at another royal wedding - between the Prince’s brother Crown Prince Charles and Lady Alexandra’s best friend Princess Victoria.

Over the past four years, they had managed to keep their relationship under the radar until the couple was spotted walking hand in hand through central Windenburg. Lady Alexandra was then invited to attend The Queens annual carol service at Lancaster Cathedral - a clear sign of approval from the Royal family.

They announced their engagement to much joy five months ago and since then, the countdown to the wedding of the year began, with announcements of wedding details followed closely by royal watchers.

We now go to our correspondent at Windenburg Cathedral, Marissa how is the atmosphere out there?

Marissa: Thank you Karen - the excitement out here is high, waiting for the wedding party to arrive. Guests have been arriving over the last 30 minutes or so, from politicians, friends of the couple, to organisations that Prince Robert is a patron of.

We have some family arriving now, the Elderly Princess Amelia, supported by her sons, Prince Arthur and Prince Frederick, along with their families. Princess Amelia, the Kings Aunt, is currently the oldest living member of the Royal Family.

Her husband passed away 17 years the, but she still lives in the home that she was gifted by her brother King Edward II. Prince Arthur still does engagements on behalf of the Crown, but his brother Prince Frederick now lives mostly as a private citizen.

Exiting a car now is the Duke and Duchess of Laughton

They have stopped to speak with Prince Frederick, and his wife Lady Frances Atherton. For those unfamiliar, the Duke and Prince Fredrick both went to school with the King, and the Duke is a member of the privy council, a group of the Kings closest advisors.

I have here with me a former co-worker of Lady Alexandra’s - Keeley, thank you for talking to us on this very special day.

Keeley: You are welcome Marissa

Marissa: What was Alexandra like as a coworker? Were you close?

Keeley: Oh absolutely! She was super fun to work with, and we had girls lunches all the time.

Marissa: You worked together when Robert and Alexandra first met yes?

Keeley: I remember when she first met him - totally gone for him, I mean - heart eyes all over. She was obsessed. I'm not surprised we all ended up here - only that it took so long!

Marissa: So there you have it - love from the very beginning!

Now we are starting to see some foreign arrivals to the Cathedral –

getting out of the car now are Their Royal Highnesses Prince Oliver and Princess Hortense, the Duke & Duchess of Rothsey. The Princess is looking beautiful in a red gown and traditional tartan while Prince Oliver is wearing a traditional tartan kilt

Here comes Their Royal Highnesses Princess Eleanor, and Prince Ryland, the Princess and Prince of Westburg, dressed in Trenton purple for the occasion.

Princess Eleanor is wearing the delicate Danielle Bandeau tiara, commonly worn at significant overseas events by both the Princess and her mother Queen Elizabeth.

Their Royal Highnesses Prince Jacques and Vivienne, Duke and Duchess of Laye have now arrived at the Cathedral representing Armorica.

The Duchess is a close friend of Princess Margaret and made a very public visit to Illyria during Fashion week, attending many shows and parties with the Princess. There was no confirmation if the Duchess’ young son or husband travelled with her during that trip.

--

Karen: Here with us in the studio is Royal correspondent Miles Hightower, who has covered the royal family for over thirty years - Welcome Miles

Miles: Thank you for having me

Karen: And welcome Nancy Fortuna, author of the best selling book “King George: A Life of Service”

Nancy: Great to be here!

Karen: Miles, you have seen many a royal wedding in your time covering the royals

Miles: I certainly have! I was outside the cathedral when His Majesty married then-Lady Elizabeth Lyons. Weddings are such a celebratory occasion and a great chance for the public to participate in such an important family moment too. While Prince Robert is not going to inherit, there has always been fascination with “the Spare” and their wife and children.

Nancy: King George’s reign has been all about continuing the House of Lancaster and making sure its stable for generations to come so I'm sure he is thrilled that another of his children is getting married.

Miles: His dual role as monarch and father cannot be understated. A father to the nation and to his own children who will undoubtedly follow in his footsteps in making their own families

Karen: Princess Margaret doesn’t seem in any hurry to settle down

Nancy: Sources say that the King is very supportive of the Princesses choices, letting her move into Kensington Palace and strike out on her own

Miles: Ah she's young - once she finds the right man, she will settle

[kokinu09]

Let Go of the Reins || CHAPTER 8

~*~

pairing seungmin x fem!reader

genre strangers to lovers, romance, fluff, slight angst later, happy ending, social media, not meant to be, someday

summary Australia is considered home for two of the eight members. When two tour dates are scheduled for the land down under, the boys can’t help but want to spend a bit more time there to visit family and do a little sightseeing. So how do they convince the company that they need to stay a couple weeks? Filming some SKZ Code episodes.

A local riding school just outside the city with amazing reviews for their skilled instructors and beautiful horses is hosting a very popular kpop group to film their experiences. Y/N knows the group well and she just so happens to be their star working student.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

A/N : Happy birthday Roo! 🎂

previous | masterlist | next

~*~

The next set of doors they pass through is bustling with activity. There are staff rushing around at every turn of your head but not a single one of them paying you any mind. Too busy worrying about completing their tasks for the (quickly approaching) concert.

Not that they could kick you out even if they wanted to. Not when you have the human Goliath with you, who was specifically assigned to bring you here. And keep you safe, you presume.

And Smitty does his job well, leading the two of you effortlessly around the crowded halls. With a path he has his mind set on and a determined furrow to his brow, he weaves around where others seem to be headed while still avoiding getting in anyone’s way and causing issues. You and Liv just try to keep on his coattail (since it doesn’t seem like he would slow down even if you asked) and stay out of the way, low-key more intimidated by the sheer coordination buzzing around you than the giant you’re following.

When he finally does stop, it’s to the side of a door with a placard labeled ’Dressing Room’ with a paper taped underneath it with ‘Stray Kids’ printed in thick black letters. Your body freezes. How had you spent the last three days straight hanging out with them and you’re still this nervous to see them?!

Oh right, because they are world-famous idols.

Smitty turns to the two of you with his hands slightly raised. “Wait right here and I’ll come back to get you when it’s ok to come in.” He instructs. He doesn’t wait for a response from you though as he dutifully slips through the door, leaving you and Liv to stew in your nerves.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe this is really happening!” Liv squeals. Her excited energy is infectious, seeping into your skin and chasing away the anxiousness until you’re bouncing on the balls of your feet right along with her.

“Do you think we’ll get to see them afterward too?” You ask, quickly backtracking into a rant to explain yourself. “I mean it’s pretty close to the start of the concert! So I doubt they’ll have much time before…and I should just be grateful that he wanted to see me before! But I can’t help hoping, that maybe—”

“Y/N,” Liv stops you with gentle hands gripping your shoulders, “it’s ok to want more.” She tells you softly. And you know she’s not talking about the perks of the concert.

Your mind starts to race in debate as to whether it could be true or not. Would it really be ok to want something more like a relationship out of this situation? Could you really ask that of him when you know how complicated it would make things for him? The words embed themselves into your brain and you’re sure you won’t be able to stop thinking about them before you fall asleep tonight.

“For now though,” she pulls you back out of your drowning thoughts, “let’s just enjoy the time we do have and cross our fingers that we get to attend their after-party!” And the way she’s jumping around like a peppy cheerleader has you doubling over in laughter.

You’re momentarily grateful that you have her here with you. Have her as your best friend. Where would you be without her, after all?

The door suddenly swings open as you’re in the midst of teasing your friend for her jovial behavior. You turn around to face the person opening the door for you, expecting Smitty to be ducked down in the doorway to avoid bumping his head, but when you look up, you find none other than the boy who has been plaguing your thoughts.

“Seungmin,” you breathe in surprise.

He surges towards you before you can even process what he’s doing, wrapping his arms around you as soon as you’re in reach. “I’m so glad you made it!” He excitedly says beside your ear.

Your arms automatically return the hug even through your surprise, a warmth spreading up your neck all the way to your ears that you know is an embarrassingly red blush. The arms around you give one last squeeze before pulling back to release you.

If disappointment wells up in your chest at the loss, it will go with you to the grave.

But the smile that he gives you is a thousand watts of pure sunshine and outrageously infectious. Your face splits into a wide grin.

Crescent-shaped eyes scan your face before he takes notice of your outfit. “Wow, you look amazing,” he says, sounding in awe as his eyes meet yours again. So much so, that you can’t help the blush more at his flattery.

“Oh, um, thank you but I’m nothing special. Compared to what you’re used to, I mean.” You quickly deflect. The smile on his face drops to a frown, mouth opening as if he’s about to say something but a sudden shout from inside the dressing room cuts him off.

“Hey Seungmin-ah! Your turn for makeup!” Lee Know’s voice calls.

The boy’s head swivels before returning to you with another excited smile. “Come on! You two can hang out with us while we finish getting ready!” He says, not waiting for your answer before grabbing your wrist and tugging you inside.

You only have half the mind to make sure Liv is following, refusing to let her get left behind. And you were relieved to see her bright-eyed and right on your heels.

The room quickly opens up from the small entryway but is filled with racks of clothes, vanity stations, and people galore. The staff are busy at work while you spot the boys scattered around the room laughing and playing around with one another when they’re not being beautified by the stylists. Even Smitty catches the corner of your eye leaning up against the wall chuckling at something Chan said to him that you can’t hear.

And speaking of spotting someone, Felix’s face lights up when his eyes land on you being tugged into their space. “Hey! Y/N and Olivia are here!” He announces as he rushes from his perch on the arm of one of the sofas in the center of the room.

“Ah! Liv, you’re really here!” Changbin’s loud exclaim has Han covering his ears and cringing away from where he sits right next to him. Turning, you see your friend’s undeniably blushing face.

“As if I would miss your concert!” She tries sounding cool but the nervousness in her laugh gives her away. You honestly can’t remember a time when you’ve ever seen your bestie this shy. If you weren’t also a ball of nerves, you’d probably be teasing her about it.

But as it stands, you’re no better off.

All of the guys greet the two of you, a chorus of annyeonghaseyo’s. Felix even prancing over to give you each a hug. But it’s the hand still loosely holding your hand that distracts you from hearing anything else.

You risk a glance down, having to make sure you’re not just imagining the contact. Maybe his touch had just burned an imprint into your skin and you’re hallucinating. But you’re thankful to know that you haven’t gone crazy ‘cause, yup, that’s Seungmin’s hand still holding yours.

Liv’s words from earlier wreak havoc in your mind. ‘It’s ok to want more,’ replays over and over.

When you finally look up, his eyes are watching you, waiting to see your reaction. “Is this ok?” He asks softly when he has your attention. You feel like your brain is short-circuiting.

Maybe…maybe Liv is right and he does feel the same. But if that is true, how do you process this information? How are you supposed to act when you’re not completely convinced this won’t end badly for the two of you?

You swallow down the internal crisis threatening to ruin the amazing concert you’re about to experience and focus on being in the moment instead. Slowly, you twist your wrist ever so slightly, Seungmin loosening his grip with curious eyes watching you still. Your fingers lace between his, testing the waters by closing your grasp. He returns the pressure, squeezing your hand as bright excited eyes beaming back at you.

It was all the answer he needed.

And suddenly you’re being pulled along by your conjoined hands. “Come sit with me while they touch up my makeup,” he suggests.

You allow yourself to let out a giddy laugh, following him like a lost puppy. With the tiny bit of sense you have left, you barely check in that it was also okay with Liv for you to basically abandon her, just to find that she has already abandoned you to find a comfy spot on the sofa between Changbin and Han giggling away.

If your eye catches Chan throwing a knowing smirk towards the two of you, you choose not to acknowledge it.

It feels more secluded when Seungmin sits in a vanity chair and offers for you to sit beside him, the other members preoccupied across the room and only the makeup artist hovering around him. You stay quiet while the lady doing his makeup speaks to him briefly before getting to work.

“How has your day been?” Seungmin asks, making you sputter out a laugh of disbelief. “What?” He follows up in confusion at your indignant noise.

”You’re seriously asking me about my day?! My day was boring until now!” You laugh at how ridiculous it all sounds.

“Well tell me about your ‘boring’ day then!” He chuckles along, not intending for it to seem like small talk but a genuine question since he is actually interested in your day.

“Do you know what the term ‘boring’ means? I think you’re confused.”

The look he gives you makes your heart sputter and the laughter in your throat dies out. His eyes are adoring, as if you hung the stars and the moon revolves around you instead of the earth.

“What you find boring will be very interesting to me,” is how he replies sincerely.

You mutter and sputter under your breath as you try to formulate actual words out of your flustered state. Seungmin chuckles lightly to himself, allowing you to compose yourself as he closes his eyes for the makeup artist to do her job.

It feels so much longer than it actually is before you’ve regained control over your cognition. “Liv and I had to take care of some things with the horses before we could come here. That’s all,” you tell him.

“Oh yeah? Did you take good care of Pearl this morning?” He asks in a happy tone.

“I did, actually. She and Storm decided they wanted to play tag with me and refused to come inside until I played with them,” a laugh bubbling out as you tell the story.

“See? At least they know how to have some fun!” He teases.

“Hey! I’m fun!” You cry indignantly.

The smirk Seungmin gives you and the sparkle in his eyes show his mirth. “Oh I know you are,” he tells you honestly.

Your face flushes, left sputtering and flustered by his words. He chuckles under his breath, leaning his head back as the makeup artist requests before muttering a quiet “cute” to himself.

“You have got to stop saying things like that to me,” you mumble in embarrassment through the fingers covering your face.

“I have no idea what you mean,” he counters, playing as innocent as possible to get that extra rise out of you.

“You definitely know what I mean.”

The smirk he gives reminds you of the cat that got the cream. That’s when you realize what he’s doing. Your eyes narrow playfully as he’s preoccupied with the powder puff pummeling his face.

Two can play at this game.

Just then, the makeup artist interrupts to say she’s finished with a quick and polite bow to leave. It’s just the two of you now and you can tease him right back.

“You know, it’s not so easy wrangling in two horses who wanna play keep away,” you say in an airy tone.

“Or~ they just wanted to play with you,” he counters, turning towards you with his full attention.

You smirk as you reply, “So you think I would be fun to play with?”

Seungmin’s face instantly turns a bright shade of red, his eyes wide in surprise at your boldness. “Uh—um, I-I, ehem,” he stammers, trying to clear his throat to slow his racing heart.

You had expected him to quip back. Maybe get a little flustered, but not completely speechless! The gears in your brain turn with why he’s so embarrassed.

.

.

.

Then it clicks.

“OH MY GOD!!” You scream in horror. “I didn’t mean it like that!! I’m so sorry!!”

Seungmin laughs when he realizes the misunderstanding, reaching out to gently take hold of your wrists and pull your hands from covering your face. Your eyes meet his, your skin tingling where his touches.

“It’s alright. I won’t tell anyone,” He promises with an adorable grin. You can’t help but stare at him. His smile softens, hands sliding from around your wrists until your hands rest in his.

It feels like time slows down for a moment. Just the two of you and nothing else in the world matters.

“Oi!” The sudden shout from across the room startles you, but Seungmin keeps one of your hands captured in his grasp. “What’s all the screaming about?” It was Felix’s curiosity getting the better of him.

Your face heats up, mouth falling open just to close again, floundering for any kind of excuse but coming up short. Seungmin gives your hand a light squeeze, a subtle assurance that he’ll handle it. It’s safe to say you’re about to be completely humiliated for a raunchy joke you didn’t even mean to make.

“Nothing! I made her think I moved her seats to the very back row ‘cause she was making fun of me!” He lies for you easily. Relief floods your system and you allow your spine to relax. But then you hear the high-pitched whine from Liv.

“Y/N! Don’t you dare get us kicked to the back!” She cries dramatically. “Binnie~! You won’t let him put me in the back will you~?”

The way Changbin immediately leaps out of his seat and starts barreling towards you two. Seungmin’s hand retracts from yours to protect himself as his hyung playfully jumps on him.

“Seungmin-ah! How could you threaten to take away their stage front seats!” Changbin bellows with a laugh. The other boys laugh and root between the two boys but you and Olivia freeze.

If you weren’t focused on seeing if she had the same reaction, you might have been worried you gave yourself whiplash from how fast you turned to look at her. And if her eyes being the size of saucers was any indication, she had no clue either. You physically shake your head in disbelief as you regain a fraction of your cognition.

“Very funny,” you finally say with a laugh, causing both boys to stop play-fighting and turn to look at you. “Seungmin already told me the barricades were sold out. But we’ll be happy with any seat that’s closer than the nose bleeds!” You smile bright and sincere.

Changbin’s brow scrunches in confusion before he looks at the younger boy beside him. One glance around and you see all the boys are looking between each other and are oddly quiet.

“What?” You ask, suddenly self-conscious that you’d said something you shouldn’t have.

“You didn’t tell them?” Chan questions from across the room. You quickly look from him to Seungmin, who you know he’s talking to.

“Tell me what?” You press, your anxiousness eating its way into your chest.

“Thanks for ruining the surprise, Old Man,” Seungmin grumbles.

“W-wait, what?” You say as if he weren’t just about to get in a fight with Chan.

He turns to you, features shy as he scratches the back of his neck. “Well, yeah, the barricades were sold out so I talked with our staff and have a spot near the sound booth in front of the stage for you to watch the show.”

You stare at him wide-eyed for the millionth time. They can’t be serious— He can’t be serious. The mysterious seats he moved you to are even closer than the barricade?? There is no way.

“Oh. No. No, no! We can’t—! How—I—!” You suck in a deep breath and let it go to calm the raging beat of your heart that starts pounding in your ears. It only helps a little bit. “Thank you. Really. But we can’t accept those seats.”

The whiny scoff from Liv across the room cuts through the otherwise silent room. “But why can’t weeee?”

“Because we’ll just be in the way!” You hiss at her, then soften your tone again as you regard Seungmin again. “It was very sweet of you to pull the strings you did but we don’t need special treatment like that. Just being here with you is enough.”

His wide eyes are filled with awe as he stares back at you. You can’t place why he’s looking at you that way. The only thing you’ve done is speak the truth.

“Y/N, it’s really not a problem!” Chan tries to assure you as he and the other boy make their way closer.

“Yeah! We want both of you to be there, Noona!” Jeongin adds.

“Think of it as a thank you for putting up with us the past several days!” Felix joins in cheerfully.

“And for putting so much thought into pairing us with the perfect horse companions,” Hyunjin says before sighing wistfully. “I miss Daisy already.”

This makes you laugh under your breath as the other boys all voice their agreement. You vaguely notice Changbin moving to hover closer to Olivia who had also migrated from the sofa cushions.

“What would I have done if Hannie’s horse hadn’t stayed beside mine so I could hold his hand if I got scared?!” Minho adds with a dramatic shout.

“Hey!” Han squawks. “Quit being weird, Hyung! This isn’t about you!”

Just about everyone paid the two no mind, but their antics still make you laugh. It didn’t ease the uneasiness that has settled in your stomach at the prospect of taking advantage of their kindness though.

“But guys, it’s just too much. I can’t—”

“You can, Y/N,” Seungmin corrects you, softly taking your hand back into his. “We want both of you to be there for us. I want you to be there, for me.”

His admission surprises you, but you realize then that it really shouldn’t. He’s done nothing but make it abundantly clear that he wants you beside him since day one. Yet, for some reason, it’s still so hard to believe.

“No one deserves it more than you,” he says as if it were fact, an unquestionable truth that he believes.

“But I—”

“Y/N, I love you, you’re my best friend, and I will follow you on whatever decision you make on this. But please just think about it for a second before you jump on the self-deprecating train again,” Liv begs, hands folded and all for added emphasis.

You stare at her for a long moment before your eyes drift around the other faces in the room. The mix of nervous and worried faces looking back at you leaves you wondering, do they really deem you worthy of such a gift?

When you finally turn back to Seungmin, you’re not sure if you’ll ever get used to the way his eyes sparkle when he’s looking at you. But it’s hard to deny him when he’s looking at you like you’re the one who hung the stars in the sky.

It honestly takes your breath away, your fingers giving his a light squeeze.

“Ok,” you agree softly. Seungmin’s smile beams at you as the room exhales a collective sigh of relief. A renewed buzz of excitement sparks up conversations around you but you’re too engrossed in the boy in front of you to pay that close of attention to them.

“I promise you won’t regret it,” he tells you softly so the others can’t hear. You offer him a small smile to that.

“I know I won’t,” you tease, getting a chuckle from him.

A body suddenly appears beside you before engulfing you in a big hug. “Seungminnie would have been devastated if you’d denied those seats!” Felix teases the younger just across from you. And you hear his huff of annoyance since you had let go of his hand again.

“He says as if he wouldn’t be crying on stage the entire time for the same reason,” Seungmin fires back.

A giggle bubbles up in your chest as you tighten your hug around Felix in a protective gesture and your face masked in dramatic shock. “Kim Seungmin! You’re supposed to be a Sunshine Protector!” You playfully scold.

A pout scrunches his face but you can see the mirth in his eyes. Felix pokes his tongue out at him in victory and it’s all over. You laugh as he gets lunged at and yips before he takes off running.

Lee Know manages to snag the blonde ball of sunshine and drag him into a loose headlock. Seungmin laughs in triumph before Hyunjin grabs him from behind, trapping his arms at his sides with a loud cackle.

The room has completely erupted into chaos as the other boys join in. Except for Changbin who is watching casually on the sidelines beside your best friend. You won’t mention how his arm is flexed just so as he leans against the couch where Liv could have a free view of the gun show.

Watching them all play around with each other, without the camera or trying to put on a show, it’s clear that the friendship they have is real. And it’s so much deeper than just a friendship. These boys are brothers.

You make a decision at that moment. A decision that will change everything for you.

You decide that you could get used to this.

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08 @chanshugsaretherapy

@palindrome969 @keepswingin

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 1 thoughts

bouncing. bouncing up and down. off of the walls. this episode was SO good. thank you. everyone say thank you, chris carter. thank you for fainting scully, tomato lover scully, doctor scully, crying mulder, plotting mulder, breaking and entering mulder, and for skinner in general.

but back to who i was before yesterday... allow us to return to past juni.

it’s been 800 years… (and by that i mean a week and 2 days have passed since i last watched an episode)

we left off in a pretty… precarious position. so i’m interested to see where things go from here. and hopefully they will be less stressful.

but i’m so happy to be back! i swear once i finish this show i’ll have to quit my job. there will be nothing to get me through LMAO.

it sounds like mulder is going to do some breaking and entering… again, fork spotted in kitchen

how the HELL did he fake his own death… this is giving sherlock!!

god, hearing her voice trembling again as she talks about identifying his body… i did not need to relive this pain!!

so we go back to him crying and watching alien stuff on his couch the night before her big meeting

“an act of faith began with an ineloquent certainty that my journey promised the chance not just of understanding, but of recovery” <- oh… so he admits to the whole thing being about healing…

and he says that he hoped finding the truth would reunite him with his sister, which i KNOW he was thinking all along, but hearing him SAY IT is still devastating; the way he never actually said it aloud before was very impactful, and so is his decision to break that vow of silence

“a belief which i now know to be false and uninformed in the extreme” <- NOOO please do not give up my king… i do not entirely believe this kritshcgau fool

he’s sobbing. he's so pretty when he sobs even if it is sad.

“my folly revealed by facts which illuminate both my arrogance and self-deception” <- oh no… i wanted him to Realize he was being Like That... but not in this way…

so he picks up the gun, saying it would be easier to end this journey if the pain had just been his own… and oh my god......

but then the phone rings… and it’s kritshcgau? he’s trying to explain that he might have been followed after leaving his apartment, but mulder does not give a FUCK LMAO

he wants to know who this man is and if they really gave scully cancer because of him. understandable.

he’s looking around for bugs in his room as he is warned of what’s going on…. and he finds one on the ceiling!! and not the insect kind, the camera kind!!!

mulder finds someone upstairs watching him on camera and burning stuff, but then this mystery guy picks up his shotgun and shoots mulder??? maybe?? it’s hard to tell??? strategic cutoff??

(i assume it’s shotgun guy from before, but frankly i don’t remember what his face looked like, so. listen! a lot can happen in a week and two days)

ah, it feels so nice to be watching the intro again. nature is healing… and by nature i mean me.

scully gets home at midnight, checking her voicemail… she starts to get undressed for bed

“keep going, FBI woman” <- WHAT THE FUCK. 

IT’S MULDER??? she’s soooo GAGGED LMAOOO THE LOOK ON HER FACE???? i’m howling 

MULDER BABY YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT WHEN YOU BREAK INTO SOMEONE'S HOUSE. BAD BOY (sprays with water) (sprays with water) (sprays with-

“mulder? what are you doing? why are you sitting in my bedroom in the dark?” <- a VERY reasonable question!!!!

he says there’s a dead guy in his apartment. she’s had ENOUGH of his shenanigans, and he clarifies that he is NOT joking

he had been under surveillance for at least 2 months!!!!! that is freaky omggg… god only knows what they saw him doing

he says that he can’t talk to anyone at the bureau because this whole hoax leads back to the FBI!!!

HOLD ON PAUSE. WHY THE FUCK DOES SCULLY HAVE A POSTER OF DIFFERENT TOMATOES ON HER APARTMENT WALL. HOLD ON I’M FUCKING CRYING. STOP. THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. oh my gooood. 

she saw a poster of tomatoes and said you know what? this would look FANTASTIC in my apartment. 

god, scully, you truly are the best character of all time. i had no idea you felt so strongly about the humble tomato. 

i cannot complain about anything else that happens in this episode, i’m out of breath from laughing. oh my god. this is gonna get me through so much. tomorrow i’m gonna go to work and a customer is gonna yell at me and i’m just gonna smile thinking about scully’s tomato poster.

i don’t even really remember what was happening. 

okay, right, so the guy whose apartment was above mulder’s, he was destroying records of himself calling the FBI. so who in the FBI was he calling?? and must it be the one who is behind all of this??

“i will not allow this treason to prosper- not if they’ve done this to you” he says <- OKAYYYY!!! protective man is in his protective mode 🔥 you truly do LOVE to see it. it’s almost as good as scully in doctor more but let’s be honest, nothing can ever beat that.

ohhh, he says they can lie back to them!!!! sneaky sneaky man... your fox-like nature is showing

so it was HIS IDEA to have her come and make the ID on his "body" even though it was false!!??

so she was ACTING in that meeting??? WAS SCULLY A THEATRE KID?? because she sold that for real!!!!

he’s going on about how he’s asking her to lie so they can find out who this enemy from within is….

scully runs into skinner after identifying the body, who asks if it’s true that mulder is really dead, and she lies, saying yes. he wants to know if she’s okay, and she pulls the “i don’t know what to say” card, which is entirely understandable.

he asks how she made the ID if he died from a shot to the head, so she says she saw him earlier that morning and he was wearing the same clothes. and there’s a look skinner has into the distance as he tries to determine how and why they would have seen each other before 6:30 am. like you could see the gears turning in his head as if he was saying omg, so they WERE together this whole time. it’s comical, in a way. 

which also leads me to wonder, well i’m no expert in these things, but if you know someone long enough, wouldn’t you recognize them even sans face? by body alone? 

he says he’s very sorry. and when she tries to leave he very sternly calls out “agent scully >:| section chief blah blah blah thinks you’re hiding stuff” (paraphrased obviously)

skinner looks SOOO suspicious of whatever she's plotting lmaooo. and he is right to be!

meanwhile, a very alive mulder is going to the department of defense to scout some advanced research using the dead guy’s ID!! ooooo high stakes, high stakes!!!! he's narrating that if they’re busted, they’re done for good!!

now scully is in the office with the section chief. and he’s talking about someone from the DOD giving her classified information. 

they ask her for information and she’s clearly hiding stuff…. but she identifies kritshcgau!!! omg i didn't think she was going to!!

uh oh… kritshcgau sees mulder in the DOD!! “hey! how’d you get in here?” “through the front door” <- lmao he can never be serious!!

kritshcgau tells mulder to come with him… is this a trap??? 

he’s gagged because that card gives mulder LEVEL FOUR CLEARANCE which i take is a BIG DEAL

yes, it is, because it would give him access to EVERYTHING!! even the thing he wants most of all… the cure for scully’s cancer!! you can see the tears forming in his eyes at the thought… oh man. ohhh mulder…

cancer man has burst into mulder’s apartment… now what are you doing here, you freak???

OHHHH he finds a photo of mulder and samantha on his desk when they were kids... ohhhh... my heart 😭😭😭😭😭

(there’s also some art on the wall of mulder's apartment that i can’t make the details out on. one piece seems to be some sort of pastoral scene with a sheep in it? and the other seems to be abstract. does anyone know what they are? i mean, it’s no tomato poster. but still)

CSM is actually crying seeing this photo and the blood he presumes to be mulder's on the carpet, and i don’t know if he feels genuine sadness or is just heartbroken his decades long alien colonization plan has been thwarted. honestly i do think he’s sad about mulder. he seemed to be in love with both mr. and mrs. mulder tbh, and that can do things to a guy. 

he finds the secret ceiling camera...

scully is in mulder’s office now, calling someone. she pulls out the phone number shotgun guy had been calling!! holly answers it and says she is so sorry to hear about what happened to mulder…. but scully has no time to talk about these things

who is this holly? how does she know scully? are they friends? i need the backstory.

scully… you are so beautiful…. holding this paper and calling holly on the phone, telling her when the calls were placed so she can track down who shotgun man called a million times…..

OH GOD!!! IT’S SKINNER’S EXTENSION!!!

scully looks devastated by this… but just as she begins to process it all, the scientist calls her back about the ice!! she has so much on her mind, please do not make her come look at some damn ice 😭

now, i do not believe that skinner is really behind all this. if he is involved at all, it is because he made that deal with CSM to try and save her... and maybe he was tricked, but he did NOT do it willingly!

kritshcgau and mulder are talking about level four, which apparently a place and not just a classification, and is home to medical facilities!! and vast quantities of DNA storage!! from every person who has ever given blood or tissue since ww2!!! 

damn that’s crazy. how tf would you even store all that?? it’s gotta be a warehouse.

he’s saying this is the hoax into which mulder was drawn…. the US fanned the flames of UFO stories to draw attention away from the whole “mutually assured destruction” thing, which, well, not sure how well that worked out 

OPPENHEIMER MENTIONED‼️him and that damn hat…

(actually still haven’t seen that movie btw. sorry i guess. idk. i’m busy)

KHRUSHCHEV APPEARS ‼️i love to see a familiar face from my textbooks in my TV programs. it's like a crossover event.

kritshcgau says the business of america isn’t business at all, it’s war. well yeah. that is true. and the cold war was an excuse to keep spending military money with no war. which i guess that sort of maybe tracks??

writing off korea and vietnam as just countries squaring off “a few times” is kinda crazy, but his point is: no one used the big bomb.

mulder asks what we are all thinking: what does this have to do with UFOs?

well, let kritshcgau tell you, son. after roswell, the more the government denied about UFOs, the more the public believed them, which was great timing for a country developing supersonic flight

oooo, he claims they almost got caught in korea, as they were accused of using germ warfare. but it’s nothing like what they have now, like what was used for the gulf war, developed in this very building! (said with a very dramatic flourish)

this is a lot of world building at a breakneck pace, and i don’t even know if i’m supposed to believe any of it. maybe some secret top percentage of the government thinks this is true, and the tiny syndicate knows it actually isn’t. that’s my best guess.

the abductions actually did happen, he clarifies, but not by aliens. hmm. a top secret project. well without aliens what's the point?

kritshcgau says it’s about DNA control. but for what purpose???

mulder asks, why make a whole fake alien body for all this then? and kritshcgau says because scully wouldn’t have been alive to disprove the alien body if their timing had been correct!!! so he would have believed it, then they could discredit him!

kritshcgau also says his son coming back sick from the gulf war is his retribution for going along with all of this, and he's thinking there’s a cure for him somewhere in there. well i think the whole gulf war disease and advanced cancer are very different. but maybe they both have secret cures?

off mulder goes, into level 4, taking one last look at kritshcgau, who is immediately apprehended by the DOD for questioning!!!! i feel that this will be the last we see of him.

cutscene to someone racing a horse?? is it bestie well groomed man?? and his many horses??

no!! it’s the department chair guy meeting with CSM!!! CSM is pissed that he didn’t know someone was watching mulder, but the chairman denies it.

he is even MORE pissed about being cut out of this project; “i CREATED mulder” <- okay so that is not putting out the “CSM is actually his father” allegations

chair guy says that mulder is dead

OHHH BUT CSM SAYS “i’ve never underestimated mulder. i still don’t” <- DAMN!!! that’s absolutely wild… i guess it’s important to know your opponent, and how willing they would be to fake their death, and if they could pull it off or not

(CSM angrily leaves)

back to scully at the ice core guy’s lab. and again, oh my god, she’s beautiful. no no no i don’t want to hear about fetal bovine serum. what the hell does that even mean. go back to her beautiful face.

he put the junk from the ice core in the serum... the cells were dividing… into somatic development?? the beginning of a life form. she looks shocked by this, but again. idk what that means!

bleugh, the ice core sample creature... it looks ugly…….

mulder’s snooping about the level 4 area, but the DOD people are behind him, and none of the doors have opened!!! he says that if they find the cure, it will mean for sure that he has believed in a lie from the start. well, i don’t think that’s true necessarily. i mean, the abduction thing could be from an alien-government collaboration, or aliens could still be out there, just not involved with this one thing, you know?

he picks a lock (okay!! crazy skyrim reference) and finds himself in a very dark room. and i am attracted to him. don't worry about it. anyway, whatever he sees seems to shock him???

cut to a TON of CGI aliens on cots LMAO WHAT???? just laying out n about 😭 it had to smell so bad in there… i imagine aliens smell very bad

now this alien closest to him has been lovingly crafted with practical effects, which is much better. so we can see his slime. that is not the part that is better, the slime visibility; its just that practical effects look more visually convincing in such a case

scully is narrating that she had no way to reach him and talk about their discovery of an unidentified life form. which is what happens when you fake your death and go in the secret medical facility of doom.

why is he TOUCHING the nasty alien body???? EUGH!!!!!!

scully is pondering if this thing she found in the serum could be the proof of an alien or the proof of a hoax… a lot of big questions for her to handle here 

he sees some flashing lights deep in the secret corridor, and follows it…. a whole lot of strobe light action going on in here. that stuff doesn't even bother me and i was like damn, that was a lot. i imagine it was much worse for the people who already have issues with bright lights.

she says that maybe this thing in the ice core sample is biologically connected to her cancer?? 

how does this connect to all of those half-alien, half-human people they found back in arizona??!!

beautiful man is looking through the window… 

OH MY GOD HE SEES A BUNCH OF WOMEN BEING SCANNED????? WITH BRIGHT FLASHING LIGHTS?? oh man.... WHAT IS GOING ON???? what are they DOING??

what did they call it before?? inducing mega ovulation?? yikes.

BLEUGH. i paused here as scully was getting blood drawn. i am woozy. how do they fake that for filming??

she needs a southern blot, btw. if that means anything to you. to compare that culture to her own DNA.

belaughhh. she needs the match before 7. he says we can’t do that.

“it’s got to happen. everything in my life depends on it” <- YOU TELL HIM!!!

he has no idea wtf that means but is taken aback by her seriousness

NOW WHY IS SKINNER WATCHING THIS????

OHHH SHE GOES OUT AND CONFRONTS HIM!! “is this more dirty work you’re doing for the DOD??” <- OHHHHH she is NOT HOLDING BACK

he says he has the tests from the body they found in mulder’s apartment on his desk; he knows it isn't him!!! and as she compounds the lies, she compounds the consequences!!!!

OHHHHH THAT WHOLE SCENE WAS SOOOOO JUICY I’M GONNA TEAR OUT MY HAAAAAIR

“all lies lead to the truth, isn’t that right?”

“and what about your lie, agent scully? what does it lead to?”

“the truth- about the men behind what happened to me, about my abduction and the tests, about being exposed to something against my will, about being put on a table and having something implanted in me and then having my memory stolen, only to have it returned along with a disease that i was given.” (ohh she was getting more and more furious as she said this and it was SO good)

“is that your justification? if that what you’re going to tell the joint panel tonight?”

“are you afraid of that?” <- OHHH her mocking and accusatory tone… i need it bottled

“well, considering the dead man in mulder’s apartment was murdered in cold blood and you willfully misidentified him, yes, i am afraid. but i’m only afraid for you” (<- and i do believe him, that he is scared to watch her proceed in this way, almost recklessly, even though it's calculated)

“you’re going to use that against me, aren’t you? you’re going to use me as i’ve been used all along- to preserve the lies”

“where is agent mulder?”

(she walks away)

WOOO baby, that scene was ACTING!! the tight closeups on their face was crazy, and it def could have backfired had they not been so freaking talented. every microexpression spoke a thousand words. i feel energized just watching it!!

jumping up and down. jumping up and down. we are sooooo back.

ohhh she goes into the lab herself to do the testing… in her lab coat… and her goggles… spinning the blood around… i’m faint…

meanwhile, mulder's walking through some weird pipes?? 

AUGH, there’s something IN HER BLOOD WATER, and she says it could be a connection between the conspirators and the cancer in her blood…. well to me it looks like a worm

he finds a new secret door and enters with a hand in his pocket, looking around... tension!!!

she’s ready to blow open this whole conspiracy!! ooooo you'd better stand back and watch it happen!

(they’re narrating all of this because this is a tv show and that is how an audiovisual media works, but i find it funny to imagine them speaking into a voice recorder as they describe their highly illegal activities)

he reaches the end of the mystery space and finds a ton of filing cabinets??? so he’s going to the scully file. he finds hers!!! it is a paper with a bunch of letters on it. which clears up nothing

and he pulls one out for kritschgau’s son as well!!! but it looks like his is blank???

someone from the DOD calls CSM to say that “scott” (mulder with the dead guy's ID card) made his way into the pentagon!! so he’s off to go find him. stay away from him, freak...

scully is rolling some sort of paper after soaking the mixture of stuff from her blood. you’re confused, i’m confused, i’m fascinated as to how this was explained for filming purposes, but here we are

“if my work with agent mulder has tested the foundation of my beliefs, science has been and continues to be my guiding light” <3

“now i’m again relying on its familiar and systematic methods to arrive at a truth- a fact that might explain the fate that has befallen me”

i love that she sees science as familiar and systematic; she really seems to be someone that values those aspects of stability, of knowing what can and cannot be true, and as the world grows more and more complex as they unravel the conspiracies, she turns to what she knows she can rely on. it reminds me in a way about how she values the comfort of a home, of the known, of what can be experienced and understood. she seems to thrive on that sort of knowledge, and i relate to it. something steady to keep her afloat, you know? it also speaks to her rigidity in following the rules. there is order and structure that maintains things, and that can be a great comfort, or a terrible hindrance if it is used for evil. but she, deep down, believes that there still is fundamental good. the rules, the science, the facts, the comfort of them all. it’s a terribly scary world; her biggest fear is what others are capable of. of course there is comfort in the known and the material. i like that a lot.

she hopes to match the virus from the mystery organism to the stuff in her cells, which would mean that her cancer has a cause, even if a cure is unknown! and maybe then they could find a cure to the virus thingy...? is this wishful thinking??

“if science serves me to these ends, it is not lost on me that the tool which i’ve come to depend on absolutely cannot save or protect me, but only bring into focus the darkness that lies ahead” <- hey. hey ouch. pain.

i refuse to consider such a possibility. there are too many more seasons ahead.

back to mulder in the labyrinth, looking for stuff that matches the numbers on her card. ough… why does his hair look so good…

anyway, he finds some sort of liquid

OH scully has done it!!! she’s mixed her DNA with the viral DNA from the cell!! oh, the ice core doctor guy is SHOCKED to learn that she has stuff in her that was also in the CANADIAN ALIEN MOUNTAINS!!

she explains that she believes she was exposed to this material that gave her an illness… and when he asks what kind, all she says is that it cannot be cured. damn. that was very dark.

so mulder finds this little vial of stuff with the specific numbers on it?? in a tiny tiny little bottle?

is it shots shots shots shots time??

he’s leaving from the pentagon, and in a voice over monologue, points out that he is as dependent upon her as she is upon him for the cure!!! as now she must convince the committee of her story!!!

she goes into the meeting room, bracing herself…. and she begins where we began in the last episode!!!! and now we know WHY she is reporting on the illegitimacy of his work!! ah, it is sweet relief to know there was no backstabbing between them

mulder is trying to sneak out… but his card swipe isn’t working…. and the military guys enter!!! 

can he play it cool?? can he beat them in a fight??? well, it FINALLY works, and one thing he can do is run!! and he manages to!!!!

GASP! CSM sees mulder leave, and says to let him go!! he seems almost relieved to see mulder alive and with this mystery liquid

and scully’s doing her oscar-winning performance about identifying a body. an absolute serve.

but skinner comes in just as she says this…. 

her eyes are filled with tears as she pulls out the evidence… (which is just two lines on paper, but you KNOW she is going to explain it)

and she notes that the whole thing was “planned and executed by someone in this room”, seeming to blame it all on skinner… oh my god…

OH MY GOD SHE’S STARTING HER PRESENTATION AND HER NOSE STARTS TO BLEED???

SHE FAINTS?????? and SKINNER CATCHES HER????

she looks at him and says “you…..” before passing back out <- WHAT DID SHE WANT TO SAY TO HIM??!??!?!?!?!

mulder is with the lone gunmen analyzing the mystery liquid…. and it’s water??

hold on, i had to rewatch her fainting and skinner catching her… how he starts to hold her face but stops himself… the way she says “you” so quietly… and then she loses consciousness again… oh my god… to be caught by the person she thinks is killing her… 

and skinner… i don’t believe for a minute that he is behind this. how hurt he must be at her accusations, his terror in watching her march ahead recklessly and lie to these people who would kill her in a heartbeat, and actively ARE killing her, and he was the one that made the deal with the devil to try and get this to stop happening, but what if he’s only advanced the work of the devil and got nothing out of it for himself…? and she doesn't even trust him!!!!

i rewatched that scene 4 times. and it was amazing during each of them.

and mulder… with his water… mystery water in vials… what can it do?? is it really just water?? why tf would the government hide vials of water with incredibly specific numbering deep in the pentagon. i don't buy it.

oh man, we are SOOOOOO back!!!!! i am bouncing off the walls. i cannot WAIT to learn what happens next. the angst here was EXQUISITE.

i’m such a sucker for angst involving mulder/scully and skinner. it’s going to get me EVERY time. over and over and over again. it just punches me in the gut. and all the other stuff punches me in the gut too, but this one has a certain je ne sais quoi factor about it; is it the mentor/mentee relationship of it all?? the way they care about each other but don’t know how to express it?? how they go from being willing to die and to kill for each other and then suddenly that trust is entirely removed, back and forth, back and forth? oh, it’s like CATNIP to me.

scully fainting and him catching is already going to be on my list of favorite moments, i know it, i know myself too well.

AUGHHHHHAUAGGHHHHRAUGGHHHHHAUGHHHHHH i LOVE THIS SHOW see it can be SO GOOD WHEN IT WANTS TO BE!!!!!!!!!

the trickery!! the plotting!! the deception!! the mysteries within mysteries!!! i still think the aliens are real though!! what are they doing with those women?? giving then alien DNA so they can steal their eggs to make alien babies?? what is that oil stuff in mulder?? and where does krycek fit into this??? and again, those half alien things in arizona?? don’t tell me!! don’t tell me because i am excited to learn!!!

YEAHHHHH!!!

[grogusmum]

TIME AFTER TIME (drabble)

Max Phillips x f!Reader

For @burntheedges Roll-a-Trope Writng Challenge. My trope is reincarnation with Max Phillips .

Of course, I am incredibly late, and it's just a little drabble. More of these two might come down the pike... I don't know just now.

Let me clear up the discourse on Vampires and their need to rest… or not.

Sure, it's very melodramatic to imagine someone who lives forever and doesn't sleep.

All the emo vamps love that headcanon.

Vampires sleep… okay. But we don't dream. We sleep like the dead. And nothing’s going on in there.

Until I did.

I'm Max, by the way. Max Phillips, Aries, vampire, award winning sales manager.

I have to say, it was disconcerting. It was always the same, well, not really. It was always a vivid dream about some couple. One from the 40s, a GI coming home from war and his wife meeting him at the train.

Some newly weds with heart eyes for each other, 1920s from the clothes… over and over, doing just everyday things.

So domestic.

So quaint.

So boring.

Here's the thing, whether gay, straight, black, white, whatever, one half of every pair, was me. And that other person, the love of my life, is the same person no matter what they look like. Sometimes I'm watching like it's a movie, sometimes I am in the action.

I don't know much more than how much I love them. And they love me.

It's weird.

Anyway, one night, I'm out looking for a bite of something, and this sweet little morsel is walking on their own. So soft and delicious looking…

Walking along, you know you should keep to the more bustling streets, but if you cut across Manard to Wells, you'll be home so much faster. It's been such a long and trying day. It's not like it's some dark alley, you justify to yourself, and you hop off the curb and cross to the side street.

At this, Max smiles, a wide thin smile. Perfect, he thinks.

Max allows you several yards. He's in no hurry. No fear that you'll slip away. Then he crosses Manard and turns onto Wells.

It's lit, residential window glow from the lights of reading lamps and televisions from within. But it's quiet. Probably more quiet than you anticipated when you chose the short cut.

Tsk tsk, always stay on the path, Little Red, he thinks, short cuts through the woods never bode well for sweet morsels like you, poor lamb.

Under a street light, he sees it, the moment you realize he's there. The telltale tension in your shoulders. A hesitation in your step. A head turn, not all the way, of course, you know better than that, just enough to listen. Trying to decide if he is following you or just on his own way home.

Almost at the halfway point, you know your step stuttered for a beat, to your annoyance. Maybe this is the guy's street, maybe he didn't notice. You too far in, you can't double back, so you press on. You put your phone to your ear, no, you're not calling anyone - just making it seem so.

“Nice night.”

You would have jumped in surprise if you had time, but you are pulled off the street so - well, quickly doesn't come close. It's like you appeared suddley in the alley

Your gasp, though, almost makes Max feel bad.

Almost. Because the fear is his favorite part, and now that your side is pressed up against him, you smell even more delicious. Your breath comes fast and shallow.

“Well, well, Little Red, how far you've strayed from the path.”

“I-”

Max breaths you in, and his brows knit, then turns you to face him. His large hands firm on your upper arms. Like the temperature dropped several degrees, you shiver, teeth chattering - you slowly bring your eyes to meet his.

Max does not gasp, but he doesn't not gasp.

In your eyes he sees lifetimes. Yours and his. The GI and the USO volunteer, the flapper and her beau… All of them.

And he loves you. To his horror more than he loves himself.

“You-”

You continue to tremble, twisting your shoulders arms, but breaking free is not happening.

Suddenly, this man, this assailant's dark eyes are soft, wet even, though a moment before you could almost see a red glow in their coal blackness. Then he is gone before you have time to fully register his vice-like grip had softened.

Confused and relieved, you return to the sidewalk under a streetlamp, he his nowhere. Did you imagine it?

Max watches from the rooftop, as you pull yourself together. Without thinking he follows, not as before to stalk his prey, but now as a protector.

You pull your key from your bag and with a look to the left and right, you push the door open and enter. The door clicks as the lock catches and you are safely inside. Max exhales.

"I'm fucked," Max concludes, as he stands sentry until he hears your apartment door close and the deadbolt and chain.

THANKS FOR READING 💚